#only for it to start infecting her as well
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post-qsmp q!bbh's story so far...
back to back we have had new q!bbh story pieces, on mythcraft with lilithluvsya and as mr. x on arkanis, so im going to write down all of my own notes of what we have learned so far + my crazed theory talk :) this will be long!!! note: this is from the perspective of someone who doesn't know mythcraft lore and the only arkanis lore i know is from what i pick up in passing lol. i will do my best!!
starting with the halloween special on mythcraft with lilith and rurus in which bbh helps lilith solve a puzzle that leads to her finding and adopting a new child, we get to see an actual bbh summoning!! im unsure if the treats are a necessary offering or just a kind gesture, but the soulfire-esque flames or wisps seem to be a very specific detail...
the chant lilith says is "hear these words, hear my cry, spirit from the other side! come to me, i summon thee, cross now the great divide!" implying that if he's summoned, chances are, he was in the underworld or somewhere else. later on during technical difficulties, lilith mentions that "i don't even know the state of his soul at the moment! because usually whenever i summon a chant through those words," she repeats it, "his soul just acted a bit... weird! he usually doesn't act like that whenever i summon him. usually, the magic feels a bit more smooth, and it was very choppy this time. his soul just felt different from the last time i saw him. i can't put my finger on it." it's hard to say what exactly this means, (i've seen some people think it's about how he died with a split soul, he never got the other half back from purgatory as far as we know...) as we've never seen him be summoned before, but in this case, he just showed up on the chest crying out a confused "HELLO...?" but later on says "i could sense something was off, that's why im here." with his trickster confidence. he also mentions he's "been around, doing my thing. im very busy," and no concrete answer is ever stated. another detail is that halloween is said by lilith to be "the veils between our world meet once a year," meaning as far as we know he can only be summoned on halloween.
when he accepts the treats and attempts to leave he says "im trying to get back home!" a place of residence for q!bbh is implied, whether or not it's one we know of or even if it's an actual house is uncertain. when bad comes across a haunted house he says "oh my gosh! i had a house like this once, only it was red." which might cross out the place of residence being on the island. might, considering the house was later changed because most people hated the red lol. when bad is downed from fall damage lilith comments "why are you so fragile?! you're not usually, like, this breakable." bbh says "oh, as soon as i die, i get to go back home, so..." since we know how !bbh deaths work, (he can only perma-die once from a unique death, e.g. the combination of soul vulture infection and nuke radiation slowly ate away until perma-killing that version of himself, which means it was an entirely unique instance of death. so it's safe to assume that ever since he had fallen, he would have perma-died from simple things like starvation, but then can no longer perma-die from it again, with a possible exception of if it's starvation along with something else at the same time) we know that him dying wouldn't be enough to bring him 'back home' if it's implied to be the underworld or the mind desert, therefore, it would mean that if he dies during a summoning that the connection is immediately broken and he's back to wherever he was at the time. he's sometimes even excited whenever he gets downed, even saying "take me! take me home!" either because 1. he just really wants to get home for some reason or 2. he just really doesn't want to work for lilith.
but, we know he doesn't HAVE to work for lilith, because lilith states at the end after he's left to fellow mythcraft member nex that, "you know how im a witch? ... WELL... a long, LONG time ago... i made a mistake with my magic and i MIGHT have summoned a greater demon who turned out to be a TRICKSTER demon instead and KINDA reversed the contract on me and NOW im stuck with him until i die and i have to do his bidding whenever he comes around, but only whenever i create the first kind of contract for him to flip around. and he kind of... is around, and changes rurus a lot, and i have to work to make sure that rurus can transform back into a human one day because they're stuck in their bunny form..." which is a LOT to digest and she said it all in like two breaths lol. so in reality lilith is stuck with bad, not bad being stuck with lilith, and bad could peace out whenever he wanted because it's trickster demon rules and on top of that he can also transform humans into bunnies??!!
going back to where my previous notes were, when they arrive at rurus' house and bad seeing a painting of himself with 5 cracked eggs around him, he exclaims, "what the fudge is that?! THAT'S CRAZY!! who's the monster who made this??" meanwhile lilith is oblivious to whatever this means. he also steals the painting. rurus shows up! (rurus says he smells like sulfur, which is definitely the 'demon smell' ak!bagi mentions once she has a moment to speak with him after the chaos) rurus mentions making the painting and it was likely a gag that bad wasn't supposed to see during the lore stream but it's there now LOL and bad repeats the same horror to them as they're oblivious too, "it's you blowing up the moon! all the moons that you've blown up?" "oh, yeah, im sure it's blowing up the moon!!" he says in angry sarcasm, and then sobs a little. "i had eggs once..." both lilith and rurus inquire, and lilith is the one to say "you became a father?" in myth!lilith's defense, the residents have a lot of adorable baby creatures they care for and might sooner assume the eggs in question are cute creatures LOL "well i just said i had eggs, so..." "oh, you hatched them?" "ohhh he HAD eggs- lawren, he- he hit menopause, he said something about that..." I HEEHEE'D. idc if it's just a goof and not entirely canon im keeping it in here.
later on, when the trio complete the puzzles and find a well-decorated baby ghost named willow inside a willow tree, bbh's behavior to willow is very endearing and also straight-forward, casually offering some steak that he stole from rurus' house. he finds the way out of the tree for them by hearing a raccoon's chitter, and lilith comments "you're really good at talking to raccoons for some reason..." and rurus pokes further with "did you have a special relationship with a raccoon?" "yeah i- i speak raccoon." this of course is brought up from the perspective of both of them knowing his lore out of character and wanting to poke fun, but it's also a fun coincidence that it was a raccoon, as raccoons are very special to pomme. it starts storming, and rurus tells bad to give willow his hood but alternatively gives willow his soul lantern instead since his hood is a "...non-removable item...".
when they bring willow back to lilith's house, he continues stealing like he has been since he was summoned, but this time he takes a cookie from a cookie jar and passes one to willow before taking one for himself. when willow thanks him and says she loves cookies, he gives her another and says "you can never have too many cookies!" which would immediately make you think of his kids and their cookies, dapper especially as they're a total cookie fiend. as willow settles in he teaches willow the first and only lesson he's given to her so far: "whenever someone invites you into their home, you get to take whatever you want!!" he goes upstairs and shows himself and willow around lilith's house, rurus mentions a gaming chair, of which was a toilet. bad takes it and says, "i know someone who would love this!" which of course would be richas' gaming set-up that had a toilet for a chair because of a prank, if i remember correctly.
bad asks where his room is, making an assumption that his summoning meant he was going to move in. when lilith says he could stay at rurus', REALLY not wanting him here, he says "i can't have a room at both??" like the greedy little man he is. <3 willow is then shown her own room, where bad then proceeds to place the furniture he stole from lilith into the room for her.
the birth certificate is revealed! willow is lilith's daughter, and bbh is her guardian demon. (many were unsure if he was a parent to willow but lilith clarified on twitter that he's a guardian demon that will show up from time to time) rurus inquires if HE scribbled his name there, and he says "no, no! that's crazy. that'd be ridiculous." in a bit of a liar voice.
when he accidentally picks up willow's sign, he courteously says "im sorry," and gives it back, prompting rurus to tell lilith she could just ask and he'd give her stuff back. when she does in a cutesy way, he dodges it entirely by saying "no hablo inglés" and when lilith demands for the furniture in spanish, he says "i don't speak spanish". i wouldn't call it entirely parental as willow's not his kid, but as you can tell bbh has shown far more care and respect to this child he just met than his contractors. the trickster has priorities!
they tuck willow into bed, and bbh falls asleep standing up, when lilith starts shoving him saying it's time to get him to bed, he wakes up suddenly, yelling "night terrors!! night terrors!!" we know he's gone long periods of time without sleeping, but he's having night terrors when he does...
bbh has technical issues, and during that time, rurus and lilith have a back and forth about him and their contract which is summarized in the bout with nex above. rurus says "you know, i used to be able to swear before i knew him, and now i can't." "huh! that's a weird incantation." this itself is likely a joke about their out of character friendship, but they come up with the idea that he might have a literal swear jar that he puts people's swears in, never to be said again lol.
lilith decides to keep the portal open as bad loses summoning connection to their world (aka technical difficulties) so he can visit whenever he likes to be a guardian demon for willow.
this wraps up the mythcraft section of new q!bbh pieces! onto arkanis!
a lot of people were unsure if mr. x would be q!bbh, but it becomes VERY clear based on how he acts with familiar faces, and some late night conversations...
not much to note when bad / mr. x greets fit, but there's a very silly familiarity when he says he'd like to take fit out to brunch right before talking about torturing him... yeah sure man why not O_O when fit asks if he's considered being GOOD and not murdering people, bad says "i considered it, but my therapist says i should embrace my hobbies. im trying to listen to my therapist more." so he at least had a therapist in recent times to tell him this, because on quesadilla island when asked about therapy, he mentioned something along the lines of that he tried therapy once, but he'd get chased out of town by people with pitchforks.
to briefly dissect the cutscene, from what i've learned, bad floating is a sign that he's powerful in valigma! only people with magic in valigma can float, examples being araldo when we get to see him later, and also bia raux who is also brought up to bad when telling him the current lore after the event. also. the manor. the banquet. i love you builders, it's so eggpire-coded. that man can't escape the aesthetic of red vines even if c!bbh tried LOL and another fun detail, he has ghosties/souls bursting around him! it's become integral to his character :)
when mr. x encounters the brazilians and his escaped captive fit, all the fantasminhas float around him! it's super cute that the grim reaper got little ghost sidekicks, and then doesn't even recognize that they're ghosts <3 he mostly called denix a gremlin or goblin, but that's because out of character he DEFINITELY knew who the admin was, that's why he bullied them so much and not the others lol.
even though he's having fun annoying everyone as mr x., bad still takes moments for the little ghosts, like spam crouching with amora when she creeps up to him, him and denix bonding by killing a penguin?? and playing songs on the flute and they all surround him and dance. :)
when the find the button room starts, and bad does his npc voice, bagi immediately starts yelling, knowing the "you got this! you can do it!" all too well, and bad keeps saying it in recognition. while it was already true that ak!bagi is a continuation of q!bagi, this interaction itself can be enough to assume that mr. x is q!bbh if he remembers it like she does. when it's revealed it's a find the button room, she's even MORE distressed, "are you responsible for this? please- please tell me you don't..." "i would never!" he says like a liar, and then maniacally laughs. bagi also frequently calls him "bad" and not mr. x unlike mostly everyone else, seeing through the silly alias.
one interesting detail is how hungry mr. x is for totems!! every once in a while he'll mention how he wants more totems popped, in the valigma cemetary / cemetario do valigma, he asks quel for how many totems they have, when they say a hundred, he says "passa tudo!" and drops mobs on them. he really wants totems for some reason!! does he absorb something from it or did he just really hate foolish that day? lol
once the event is over, bad and bagi get to talk! bad becomes uncle to amora, bagi's daughter. amora is immediately very sweet to bad! bagi catches bad up on what's going on in valigma, telling him about araldo and bia, and bagi thinks because he's a demon that he could help the specialists understand and handle the magic themselves, "you see those pink blocks glowing that way? they're like some of the magic powers that this land has, but we can't just touch it and start doing magic all the way through the town. so, basically, there's powers everywhere that we don't know how to use and those two entities fighting each other, they use different kinds of power. so maybe you, being a demon and stuff... maybe you can teach us how to handle this." which, upon mention of him being a demon, he deflects by admiring a streetlamp. bad didn't act this way with lilith and rurus because they were already aware he was a demon since they summoned him, but he never confirmed anything to bagi other than the vague vastness of his age and his immortality, if i remember correctly. which is more than he's confirmed to other people!
bad points out bagi's smoking, "you've taken up smoking, im guessing it's been really hard?" "yeah! yeah, no, that was because, the things i lived before, you know..." "yeah i understand..." "it caused me a lot of trouble." if im correct in assuming this is about the island and losing the kids... :( which bad then segues into asking if there's an ikea. LOL
when jvnq starts taking bad to pac's house to steal furniture, he says "oh wow! you guys are all nice and close together, i like this. yeah, i hate having to walk really far." knowing that q!bbh tried really hard to get people to live close by to him when he was dying so someone would take care of his kids recontextualizes this as living far away being a regret he still holds </3 (not to mention, cc!bad himself regrets building his bases so far away)
when pac says he'll give bad more muffins and furniture if he teaches him how to fly and such, bad deflects by saying "yeah! it's easy, you just got to... you got a- you got a nice view!" and looking at the black hole outside his house.
later on, when bad gets transported by araldo, they seem to get along nicely and araldo wants him to do MORE chaos at some point, which i believe is worrisome if it's true that araldo is the problem in the fight between araldo and bia raux... but also very fitting for him. meanwhile, sent back to his friends, he has only good things to say about him, and also inserted some of his silly lies. the entire interaction feels reminiscent of the times he'd talk about the 'eyeball guy with the snatched waist' aka the watcher, or even cucurucho to a certain degree LOL
when gabe takes bad to space, bad comments that it's a first for him! "the moon is just like i imagined it'd be..." congrats !bbh for having your first moon experience, at least, as far as you can remember!
meanwhile, transported to the mr. x manor, bad gives a dizzying tour to gabe, denix, and amora! he introduces the skeppy room when asked about his bedroom, mentioning he doesn't really need to sleep, and he instead meditates on top of the skeppy. (someone PLEASE feed this man dapper's special cake recipe) he also introduces his chair and i have no doubt that people have shown a comparison of his chair here vs. his chair in the hall of grim but i'll put it here anyways lol. he's also very consistent because the vod i went to to get a screenshot of his hall of grim chair is the near exact same "and this is my chair..." when he introduces it.
when bad, gabe, denix and amora are in the maze that the experts + fit went through to get to the cemetary, they stop at a corner to chat and gabe asks bad "changing the subject a little, if you had a son now what would his name be?" (possibly more gender neutral than the translator says, which is how bad interprets it,) this likely was on the mind because a bit earlier while exploring the manor, denix asked him to give him a second name or middle name and bad hadn't answered. bad stops to think about it, before prefacing "well, i- i've had kids over the years, a couple, but you're saying if i got a new kid, right? what would i name... him... probably... how do you say 'gremlin' in portuguese?" it's the same, but alternatively gabe offers "duende." meaning denix's second name is probably duende now LOL but more importantly, for the first time, at least directly tonight, q!bbh was reminded of his children. gabe contextualizes why he asked, "it's because in this city... anything can happen, you understand? one day you're single, and sad, and the next you have a family." "no, that's true... yeah. i- i understand what it's like, one day you just wake up and you got kids, i totally get it... and then everybody dies, and you're left alone." OOGH. EEYOWCH. we don't know for certain how long q!bbh has been living after escaping quesadilla island, or if even in the end cc!bad is planning that he escapes at all, he might still be bound to it. but however long it's been, he's been carrying onto the weight of everyone disappearing, with only strange creatures (the bunnies, the penguins, cucurucho...) to keep him company once everyone is gone. gabe inquires about if his family died, and he covers up with "oh, no, im just saying that's the inevitable. that's what happens, sorry." ...top 10 sentences that are more depressing when contextualized by an immortal demon with a heart too big for people to comprehend... :( something that bad misses here is denix asking if he wants to adopt amora, but this comes back around!
transported again, while gabe walks bad towards the boat the experts arrived on, he says "valigma keeps many mysteries and lots of trouble, right? fights, in this case many fights, problems, death, pain, suffering, and then we decide to have a child despite all these problems; how can this be, right? it's a weak point." bad says "yeah, love tends to lead to lots of problems..." which would be specifically commenting on taking care of children. and from the perspective of his current situation, being without them... yowch. :( then bad falls into a ravine, shoved by denix, and amora saves him. :) but when he fell he purposefully avoided landing in the water. :(
later on they go to the leaderboard! there amora offers that bad can adopt her for a while, since she's "kinda an orphan" based on the activity of her parents other than bagi, and he accepts :) though knowing he literally can't be active either lol. from then on, amora calls bad "dad" for the rest of the night, and "pai bad" the next day when talking with some of the experts :)
some more fun stops later, they pause in the gallery as gabe explains more of the araldo and bia beef, to which bad says once more to "wine and dine" araldo... if u want it done right, do it urself, geez... chat, beat this guy up for me... he has a weakness for guys with power... another moment in this stop to goof around, bad says "yeah, im really good at cooking... people. meals." which is normal q!bbh and the least surprising thing he's said or done all night.
the night slowly comes to a close, after running into guaxi for a small reunion, he says goodbye with a bang when denix kills him and he logs out. they then contain mr. x's corpse in a box of glass, preserved for memories <3
if this is what post-qsmp has been like for q!bbh so far, IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE!!! and yes i HAVE spent at least 5 hours writing notes as i vod review!!! q!bbh on arkanis felt a lot like a classic day on qsmp with his character plus some pain and suffering, and q!bbh on mythcraft gave us some extra lore bits to think about!!! very very fun, im sooo excited for whatever ending cc!bad has been wanting to make for q!bbh, because if it means he's still kicking it going around to other worlds, all of his pain in tow, IM SO READY!!! thank you if you went through everything here it was a doozy and mostly for yelling about with other people since i haven't been on tumblr for a while and i miss the screams from here. :)
#longpost#goopert talks qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp#i spent way too much time on this but i miss yelling here. let's all stay caught up on our little guy *bags under my eyes*#it's fall back time in america so i watched the clock go from 1:50 am to 1:50 am a second time. i do this for q!bbh. goodnight everyone
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oh i want to make a region mod now :|
#i can very much trace the idea to its origin. another thank you to soma#it was a region that i was gonna call The Vivarium and it was teeming with life#but its very... sectioned off and controlled#or at least it once was before falling into disrepair#that was bc The Vivarium was a project of 1 of my iterator ocs#made to preserve life. theres even hidden lab spaces with samples and stuff#she made the vivarium to make her sister happy#shes not all too thrilled about creatures and would rather exterminate them from her surroundings#but instead she protects them bc its what her sister likes#unfortunately she also did a fucky wucky and one of the fungal samples grew and took over her can#and now she lies half dead#i do think that this version of her is a step up from the last though#fluttering grass' last revision was one where she just hated all the life and creatures around her#and so bio engineered a fungus to spread and exterminate her surroundings#only for it to start infecting her as well
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drew some of my favorite resi girlies as my little ponies for funsies ^_^
designs are f2u with credit! also check the notes for me just infodumping about my horse designs lol
#resident evil#mlp#my little pony#jill valentine#sherry birkin#claire redfield#ada wong#rebecca chambers#helena harper#ashley graham#manuela hidalgo#eveline baker#i don’t have a ton of design notes for jill other than her cutie mark is the keys and the 5 stars represent not only her team name but the#core 5 main characters of resident evil bc jill was always the OG main character to me#sherry.. so fun fact when I started doing this I was actually kinda making a mlp infection au with the resi 2 cast bc i like them lol so#her design has more lore behind it#i think sherry was originally an earth pony but when infected with G + williams dna her body began to morph with the infection which is how#she becomes a unicorn (william dna) she’s cured with the antivirus but is permanently changed physically which is how she gets her powers#and her cutie mark as well bc im insane#claire’s design was mostly for fun i do plan on fixing her cutie mark eventually but i imagine she’s a racer#also in my little au she is the main provider for the survivor group considering sherry is a child and leon is injured from his wound#so that’s why she looks so beat up and irritated#ada was fun umm she does have an actual cutie mark but it’s a secret. I like to think she uses magic to change her cutie mark and other#aspects of her appearance to better suit her missions#this also isn’t necessarily canon to my mlp au but her mane is dyed too i like to think it’s like this pink and red color#rebecca is a deer pony hybrid! solely bc i thought it would be cute and I enjoy hybrid species ponies#I don’t think that cross species foals usually get cutie marks but rebecca is a special rare case which i felt like reflected the games#helena i don’t have a lot of notes abt she was fun and has the beats the shit out of you cutie mark#ashley is another case where i don’t think she started off an alicorn but she was changed when she was infected#i ran out of tags FUCKKK
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Unfortunately that kitten had to go back to her foster mom who. I am pretty sure is going to be fired from the shelter we work with because holy fuck she was The worst -_- god she was cute tho im glad i got to spend time with her today
#like at first she was here with her mom who was a beautiful grey cat#but. she was not doing well. something was very wrong. she didnt move at all the entire day#she had brown pus in her eyes#her breathing was uneven. all she could do was move her eyes around really#so we called her to say we need you to come pick her up and get her checked out because she is really sick#and this bitch snaps at us like 'okay well actually shes fine' and just complains at us for making her come back to get her#and we're like. ok man like your cat is very ill sorry for being concerned about not only her health but her babys health too#let ALONE the health of allll the other animals that come into our store + families petting her that may bring back the illness to their own#animals...#anyway so they finally come back to pick her up and its two of them. one is level headed and the other was the bitch lol#like my coworker had taken them out and was sanitizing the cage and she goes 'well thats STUPID theyre from the same home'#and we start to explain that it doesnt fckin matter were doing what we can to keep the kitten as healthy as possible#but luckily het sister or whoever it was cut her off and was like 'nono thats what they should do. thats what vets do im glad theyre doing#that' and then she was like yelling and yada yada yada#anyway. they FINALLY turn to leave but just before she turns around and goes 'oh by the way i brought another cat to replace the mom.#just dont expect him to be bubbly since you expect cats to be so energetic. hes 9'#like. first of all. its fucking insane that you briught another cat in the first place cuz what happens if the kitten is already sick now#second of all. she adds 'also they havent met each other yet. bye'#LIKE WHAT!!!!!!! THE FUCK DO YOU M3AN THEY HAVENT MET EACH OTHET#YOU JUST LEAVE US WITH ONE POSSIBLY INFECTED KITTEN ANNND A SENIOR CAT THAT HASNT EVEN MET THIS KITTEN???!?!?!?#and were supposed to just leave them together overnight and hope for the best???? BITCH#so yeah anyway we ended up having to call the shelter who called the foster mom Again. thankfully her sister showed up to take them both#but then her fckin sister didnt even tell her she was supposed to take bith cats it was sooo. what a night man#just wow lol#thank u 4 coming to my pet store rant
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I just realized that in the movies Teresa died without knowing that the cure would never reach Newt
(discussion of death and brief mention of suicide in the tags)
#Thomas woke up and that was it. He never told her that Newt was already dead#she was trying to save both of them#the only reason she ever offered the cure to Janson was that she couldn't make a replacement if she and Thomas both died#I suppose she could have figured it out along the way#but I like the way the idea of her thinking that when Thomas got on the Berg with that vial#she saved as many people as she had the power to in that night#And she really did#she didn't work against the boys after they kidnapped her#she was honest and didn't get in their way#even though she likely knew that Thomas wouldn't let them hurt her#I think after Minho's torture she was already starting to want to fight for both sides#it makes her death more tragic as well#the way she looks up at Thomas. knowing she's about to die#she's not scared or closing her eyes even as she falls. She keeps looking at him and the Berg#to make sure that she succeeded in doing as much as she could to make up for what she'd done#to Thomas and everyone else#and Newt personally of course. because he wasn't immune and with her memories back. she would have realized that eventually#like she had this potential bit of comfort that in saving Thomas she saved Newt too#and the story lets her die (I do interpret that moment as suicide tho). lets her story end with that belief#that she's at least succeeded in saving someone she cares about both immune and infected#it allows her some residual hope for a cure even though she's chosen to abandon WCKD's cruelty#she lives and dies under a false hope of saving/having saved people
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even though ellie is immune, we see in the mall that infected still attack her and we know that they will rip people apart in an attempt to spread. a vaccine wouldn’t kill the existing infected or stop them from attacking. ellie would never be able to make a decision without the fireflies manipulating her into thinking she was selfish and killing people and turning her against joel by making her think the same about him and maybe even that she’s just a replacement for sarah. not to mention they would just use a vaccine as the ultimate trading tool to topple fedra and become the new world leaders which is what they really want. they were going to kill a little girl without telling her she was going to die on the off chance her brain could produce a cure. joel did the right thing
#im coming at this from a show only perspective but from what i know this should apply to the game as well#i saw someone say theres no difference between what they were going to do to ellie and olden days people throwing a virgin into a volcano#to appease the gods and bring rain#and hell if that isnt spot on#this isnt a walking dead situation where they just have to outlast the zombies the infected arent going anywhere#we are told over and over theres no possibility for a cure#and thats coming from two experts in the field decades apart#so you cant even say well people in 2003 knew more than the guy in the sixties#a regular surgeon wouldnt know more than him or the doctor from indonesia#even if they did theyre still people and its made very clear how evil people are#theyre not some benevolent force#they call themselves freedom fighters all they want but what they want is control#we see in riely how they start their propaganda and how it buts up against fedras#but its still propaganda#otherwise riely wouldnt hesitate to explain everything to ellie#even if she believes its better than fedra its clear she doesnt necessarily believe its right#when ellie finds the bomb all she says is that theyd never use them mear HER not near civilians#this is my second day in a fucking car man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#the last of us#tlou series#tlou#ellie tlou#joel miller#pedro pascal#bella ramsey
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can’t do this shit anymore
#been operating on a queue for the most part bc mentally i just can’t be here rn#but found out a couple days ago my mom is in the hospital again with pneumonia#and just got a text saying she’s being moved to ICU with bacteria in her blood and RSV in her lungs#here I was thinking she’d die during this stupid ass surgery they keep rescheduling even though she’s not well enough for it#but nah she’s gonna deteriorate in the fucking ICU and then what???#die???#and I guess my aunt and uncle aren’t even in fucking town with her??? they’re in Michigan??#so my gross awful terrible aunt is the only one with her#and I can’t fucking afford to go down to texas#so I just get to sit here spiralling about it all l#like I just can’t fucking escape this#like clockwork#i start feeling better about SOMETHING in my life and then BAM#my mom’s in the hospital. i get broken up with. she doesn’t want to move back here. she’s in the hospital again. she’s having life risking#surgery or wait no she’s not because she has covid for the second time in months. surgery is rescheduled oh wait no it’s not bc she’s in#the hospital with an infection. oh wait now she’s in the icu#can’t fucking win can we??#I’m just so so tired#i don’t want to do this anymore#i’m talking
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I just read the 5ish page prologue to "Ninth House" by Leigh Bardugo and I already feel that she is a genius wordsmith writing swordswoman and I can't fuckin believe I let this book sit on my shelf for months. I just picked it up at a Home Goods and ignored it bc I'm STUPID
#warm throb of her body setting fire to itself...#Thinking of whatever the Relaxed Circumstances are as sink water goes over her fingers#starting to lose it from infection... passing thought that the drain ;;chuckled with her;;#and moving from a description of the school to Alex hiding away in it and mixing in school history and HER history...#It all flows so well its made by a Master I'm like swooning Ms Bardugo like buy me dinner first#the only thing that made Six of Crows not an A+ for me were the moments of idk YA Smarminess#which I know will not be here in adult fiction I'm like SO EXCITED BUT I GOTTA GOTOBED!
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ugh i wanna talk about ocs but i dont even know where to start
#so my one story called starquakes right. im just gonna do a lore dump here#so it starts with the kingdom of the cosmos- a fantasy kingdom of elves who harness magical powers. its mostly just practical magic and-#doesnt rlly add much to the story but WHATEVERRR#two powerful individuals- teachers in the kingdom's largest college- atrophy and zenith are the most well known magic users. despite..#being more introverted atrophy takes on the responsibility of private lessons with a young man named carrion.#carrion is a very power and knowledge hungry person and he takes advantage of atrophy's tutoring of him by pushing the limits of her advice#her being his mentor gives him special access to older textbooks. personal journals from past sages. ect ect .#carrion falls down the rabbit hole. enraptured by scrolls and texts and information. this information leads him to an ancient series of-#tunnels below the kingdom. these tunnels lead under the heart of the city in a giant cavern. here lies the darkness.#the darkness is a semi-sentient parasite that takes control of any living thing it can get into contact with if it doesnt just eat it and -#add it to its mass first. carrion is ground zero. he is the first infected. its only goal is to spread and now carrion is in charge of that#now introducing the royal family. a long line of violent colonial power turned academics and peacemakers. the borealis family.#this (for now) consists of the two parents (who dont have names lol) and their two sons: miranda and brutus. brutus is three years younger-#than his brother. this is who carrion has his eyes on.#in an effort to fuel his own desire for power along with the darkness's goal of infecting others carrion kidnaps brutus when hes 11.#he takes brutus to the heart of the darkness and intends to use him as a sacrifice. but he survives. the darkness grabs him by the arm and-#infects him. carrion believes that this is a sign from the darkness that brutus is chosen to be the next heir to the darkness.#after keeping brutus there for around a year to assimilate him to the darkness. and then he goes back to his family#for years the darkness brews and corrupts his mind. it spreads through the nervous system and breaks down his family relationships-#as brutus only gets angrier and angrier.#when brutus is 20 his parents are killed. this is his fault. he staged an “accident” which places miranda on the throne.#the accident was supposed to infect his parents but he couldnt go through with it.#miranda found out soon after his coronation but couldnt bring himself to hurt his brother. so brutus is banished.#he leaves into the forests and caverns and swamps and waits. and waits. and waits.
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the last post i reblogged just reignited my rage over something that happened my freshman year of college so mini rant in the notes lol
#so on tuesdays i had a a rhetoric class at 9:30 and then a chem lab at 2:50 or something weird like that#and sometimes i would just linger around campus during the gap but one day i started feeling super sick out of nowhere right after rhetoric#so i went back to my apartment to rest for a bit and found out my roommate was also sick#and i just kept feeling worse plus the fact that she was sick too told me it was an actual sickness not the random stuff i feel a lot#like nausea and headaches from being anemic for example#so i sent an email to the TA for my chem lab letting her know i was sick and i wouldn’t be there that day#and she said i needed a doctors note but i didn’t have a pcp or anything in my college town and there was a waitlist at the campus clinic#so i went home the next day and ended up going to a minute clinic so they could test for strep and bronchitis and stuff#(everything they tested for came back negative so i still don’t know what i had but i felt like absolute shit)#so i sent the paperwork from the clinic to my TA before our next lab on thursday and i was back in class by the tuesday after that#but even though i told her i was sick that first tuesday she said the doctors note only excused me from the thursday lab#so i went to office hours to make up the experiment from thursday but she wouldn’t let me do the tuesday one#each lab was worth 100 points and the only other grades we got were for these little 10 point quizzes that barely counted#so even though i had like a 99 in the class all semester up to that point i ended up with a B bc i got a zero for that one lab#and i’m still so mad about it like i did everything almost perfectly all semester and i couldn’t get an A#bc she wouldn’t let me make up a lab i missed while sick even though i got a doctors note a day later#keep in mind this was in 2021 right when the delta variant of covid was spreading like crazy#so the university made a huge point of encouraging everyone not to go to class if they felt sick in any way#like i was just trying not to infect all my classmates but bc i couldn’t immediately get a doctors note i lost a whole letter grade#and it was a fucking CHEM LAB like that shit was hard and i was doing so well!!! priscilla if you’re out there i still hold this against you#lj.txt
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rip blueberry cheesecake the betta fish
#she got a fungal infection in her gills#and i literally started the medication for it like three hours before#its more frustrating than anything else#like the only indication she wasn't feeling well was she was hanging out up in a corner#no clamped fins or anything#and id done some stuff w the tank this last week so i thought it was from that#hhhhh
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MASCULINE METALLIC NOISES
#from dry by neil shusterman ^#reading bc i was nostalgic for a survivalist YA novel#big fan of the characterization mostly#although so far its like pretty bog standard survivalist horror albeit very well written#im only like halfway through though so we'll see if it gets as scary as the recommendation i saw says itll be#i'm probably just spoiled from reading every survivalist book i could get my hands on as a kid#including the one where the kid realizes his abusive father has fabricated the entire disaster#and also the dad is forcing his wife to have children with the intent of eating them#or that one where towards the end of the novel the MC realizes her fellow survivor#was a hallucination brought on by her infected piercing and that hed died shortly after the plane crash#...or that one where a weight loss drug makes a cruise ship full of rich people go insane and start eating each other#er. not eating. just killing each other i think.#OR THE ONE WHERE A BUNCH OF KIDS LIVE IN A LOCKED DOWN SUPERSTORE. long series#and i cant remember the specifics but it had some fuuuuuuucked moments.
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My god I've been sleeping at like 11am and waking up 4pm because the only time I can sleep is when it's light out. And tonight i was like hmm I think I'll go to bed early (: and why is it always crawling into bed that feels like I've entered an active hornets nest. Just for hours agonizing until I cave and get up and stay up until I can pass out in the mornings.
#The magnesium doesn't even work anymore. My body just tanks it#It feels more dangerous to fall asleep so I naturally just fight the urge#I wish moving my bed would work but I already know it doesn't matter if I sleep on the couch or not it just follows me#Hope cuddling with me at nights helps ... reaching out to feel she's still there is really the only thing that calms me#And she's such a big purrer.... my baby girl... she purrs so loud and lovingly#It's awful sometimes though because the night terrors even take advantage of that. Sometimes they make her talk to me#It's horrible. She usually doesn't have anything bad to say just warning me that somethings coming#But it's still fucked up how vivid they always are and how much they warp my reality around me#It's been so awful lately. Like everything feels as bad as the night terrors do#When I recoil out of them and back into the present it feels simultaneously better and dulled#Like yeah it's okay now but it simply starts feeling like an itch#Like. Yeah. It's good. But this means the night terrors are gonna get REALLY vivid if they can't seep out while I'm awake#It feels like a neverending well of poison I'm trying to bleed out however I can. And that it's worth it if it means it stops#I'll let it out if I'm supposed to. It can feel horrible all day and night if it all comes out#But I don't even know if that's what it is. I don't know if I'm picking at something and stirring an infection#Or re-breaking a bone so it can set better#But I don't think that's how night terrors work. I think they're nearly permanent
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(This one is pretty long info dumping. Warning: mention of mild gore)
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Prologue
Previous Next
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With the state of the one named Danny, the safehouse Barbara directed the group to was one that was a little more well stocked than the others. It was only because of Jazz that they were able to reach it, being the one to accept all of them being blindfolded after Jason had suggested they could hold each other’s hands the whole time and let the rest of his team put the blindfolds on. It made walking a little awkward with Jazz firmly hanging onto her unconscious brother’s hand, but it was an annoyance Jason was willing to accept for the comfort it gave them. It was only when they were in a room without windows that they took the blindfolds off, and pulled chairs over for the kids to sit on.
“Don’t touch me,” Sam hissed when Cass took her arm to start cleaning a cut she had, snatching her limb back and glaring.
“If it gets infected and you get sick then you’ll have one more of your team in need of care. That seems detrimental to your state of affairs,” Damian commented after catching sight of Cass’ sad expression.
“Robin,” Tim hissed, not wanting to stress this group of teenagers out more than they already were.
“He’s not wrong,” Jason interjected, keeping a hold of Danny not only because there was only one table open that he’d directed Stephanie to set Danielle on, but also because he knew the others would behave better with their seriously injured friend in obvious custody. “You guys should take care of yourselves too, otherwise no one will be left to look out for him.”
It was effective. Sam flinched before lowering her head and hunching her shoulders like a scolded puppy, then offered her arm back to Cass.
“Dude,” Tucker protested weakly, but didn’t say anything else and aso looked to Tim to accept his own check up. He had to wait for Tim to stop facepalming first though, a heaved sign from him before he decided not to further comment on his two brothers’ unnecessarily blunt comments.
“Are you feeling a little better sweetie? Sorry we roughed you up so much, but you were quite the fighter and it was hard to deal with you,” Stephanie decided to also ignore her brothers, resting Danielle on the table while Dick was clearing the other.
At first Danielle was about to be snarky about whose fault it was that she wasn’t feeling okay, but Stephanie’s expert inclusion about her fighting ability effectively changed her thought process. “Heheeh. And don’t you forget it,” Danielle chimed with a proud giggle. “I’m feeling much better now. Thanks for carrying me all the way.”
“No problem! Thanks for listening to your sister and not fighting us again,” Stephanie returned. “Jazz said you’re different from the others. Do you need anything? It doesn’t look like you’re injured anymore.”
“I heal fast, so I’m okay. But do you have any food? We haven’t really gotten much lately,” Danielle asked shamelessly. She didn’t need any bandaids or antiseptic like the others, but fights had still taken a lot of energy on top of being short supply of food for the past few months. If they were willing to finally give her a good meal then she was going to take advantage of it.
“Sure thing,” Stephanie giggled, appreciating the honesty. “I’ll be right back,” she bid, leaving Danielle on the table and heading to another room where they kept food supplies.
Letting Stephanie pass by them, Jason shifted towards the remaining table where Dick was finishing clearing the surface of spare parts and supplies. “Get two blankets, he’s cold as ice,” Jason directed Dick, the concern in his voice being the only hit to his hidden expression.
“...Still breathing?” Dick asked after obediently pulling a thick blanket from a nearby cupboard and spreading it on the table first. They were both keeping their voices on the quieter side, letting Stephanie and Tim take care of keeping the other three occupied. Jazz was the only one staying near them, having not let go of Danny’s hand just yet.
“Yeah, it’s weak though,” Jason confirmed, carefully setting Danny down and helping Dick spread the second blanket over him. “How long has he been like this?”
That question was directed to Jazz, who pursed her lips both in reluctance to answer and to fight back more tears. “Since we got here. He collapsed and hasn’t woken up since,” she admitted, almost a whisper.
“What?” Dick smothered his outburst so the others didn’t notice, but couldn’t keep it quiet completely. “He’s been comatose for months without life support?”
Jazz flinched and shrank back slightly at the outburst, but Jason rested a hand on her shoulder to keep her from fleeing. They needed her to talk if they wanted to be able to help them. “He’s not a regular human, remember?” he reminded Dick, speaking up to try and help Jazz feel a little less interrogated.
Jazz didn’t offer any further information, just pulled her gaze back to look up at Dick, lip wavering despite her trying to keep a defiant expression. She wasn’t looking for pity, but she wasn’t good enough at pretending to be a tough girl that Dick didn’t notice her distress. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to... I know you were doing your best,” he apologized, pulling back a little as well.
“Dr. Thompkins has reached you guys. Penny-one opted to call her after hearing Danny's initial condition,” Barbara’s report came over all of their comms, able to keep tabs on everyone through secure video feeds of the inside and outside of the safehouse. And as each of her team members got DNA samples from their captive rescuees she was also starting an identity analysis for each of them in the background.
“Robin?”
That was all Dick had to say, calling to the youngest who was leaning against the frame of the only door. Damian simply raised his hand in a brief acknowledging wave before he left to let Leslie inside. As he left Stephanie returned a moment after, a plate of warmed up frozen burritos in her hands and a bag of bottled water over her shoulder. The bag caught Jason’s eye, and he moved over momentarily to grab one of the bottles and bring it to Jazz.
“Our medical contact has arrived. We’ll have her look at your brother first. Just make sure you stay hydrated,” he commented, handing her the bottle and letting her open it so she could see it was still sealed and therefore wasn’t contaminated. If that was even a concern that crossed her mind. It was starting to quickly seem like these kids weren’t criminals at all, and many of them were starting to have a hard time treating them as such.
“...Thanks,” Jazz responded, taking a moment to be willing to let go of Danny to open the bottle. It was much needed, and she ended up drinking half of it before lowering it again.
Jason watched her for a moment, noting how tense she was and her reluctance to speak with them. He couldn’t blame her for being secretive, having no idea what had driven them to where they had been. But he couldn’t help notice it was strange they were all still distrusting of the group they were with. Didn’t they know Batman’s group of birds were a trustworthy lot? Were they still hiding something illegal? Or maybe… they simply didn’t recognize them. Where were these kids from? “Before the Doctor gets here, I just want to strongly recommend that you don’t keep anything from her, alright? I know it’s scary to reveal things about your brother to a stranger, but the more she knows the better she can help. Got it?”
Jazz looked up at him at the half request half demand, eyes trying to see him beyond the mask as she considered his words. She hadn’t thought about that yet, being so used to keeping everything about what Danny was a secret from everyone. But what Jason said made sense, and she wasn’t going to risk Danny not getting better just to stay paranoid. Two months was a long time for them to have tried to figure things out for themselves, only to have every attempt fail. But if there was one thing they’d all learned in the past months, it seemed ghosts were practically nonexistent in Gotham. So perhaps there was much less risk than back home. “...Okay,” Jazz agreed, giving a small nod.
“This way Doctor. The young meta is over there,” Damian was quick to return, refraining from entering the room for a moment in favor of allowing Leslie to get by, but still gesturing his open palm towards the group of four to the right side of the room from the entrance.
“Thank you, Robin,” Leslie responded, stepping into the room and heading over to them. She didn’t sound too happy to be there. But considering the circumstances it was hard to be joyful about it. She did end up pausing when she laid eyes on Danny though, momentarily taken aback. “If I didn’t know any better I’d be questioning your ability to tell when someone was still alive,” she commented, looking at Dick and Jason for a moment before setting her medical case on the edge of the table with a small sigh. “Let’s take a look. What kind of injury is under the wrappings, dear?”
Her voice had softened, being able to recognize each of the kids who were there from the rundown Barbara had given her on the way there. As she gathered her tools Jazz watched her, hesitantly nudging herself to respond honestly. “...Burns,” she said quietly, willing herself to move as she saw Leslie pull out some scissors to cut the bandages with. “From here to here,” Jazz added, rising from the stool to gesture the entirety of Danny’s left side of his torso, and onto his shoulder somewhat.
“Thank you, dear,” Leslie hummed, slipping the scissors under the bandages on the opposite side to make sure she didn’t aggravate any of the injuries. It only took a moment to cut through the stolen wrappings, and then she was very gingerly peeling them away.
Jazz still felt nauseous whenever she saw the blaster inflicted burns marring a good portion of her little brother’s body, and was glad she was already sitting. Leslie didn’t seem too phased though, simply humming once the wounds were revealed even as Dick and Jason made tense noises. “Hmm. Those are definitely third degree,” Leslie commented, slowly cutting away the rest of the bandages around Danny’s shoulder. But then she noticed something unusual that caused her to look closer. The tissue that wasn’t destroyed appeared irritated, as if exposed to an allergen or poison. “What caused them?” she asked, looking closely.
“...A shot from a Blood blossom blaster,” Jazz almost whispered, clenching her hand as the memory of her brother screaming when the red tinted blast had caught him in the side made her feel even more sick. She wasn’t sure if that was worse than seeing him stand up afterwards with a gaping hole in his side dripping green blood. At least in his ghost form there hadn’t been much to see in terms of insides. But after having expended all his energy to take out the GIW’s machines he hadn’t had any left to heal, and the injuries had carried over his human half.
“Wait, you said third degree?” Sam suddenly spoke up, the whole room having stopped conversations when Leslie had come in. “You can’t see his ribs anymore?” she continued, standing up and intending to check for herself before Cass stepped in her way.
“Don’t interfere. You’ll get in the way,” Cass directed, holding her hands out to block Sam’s path and ignoring the glare directed at her.
Tucker made a gagging noise at the question, covering his mouth for a moment. “Dude, could you not remind me of that?”
So Sam wasn’t just being dramatic? Dick and his team ended up looking at Jazz when they heard her draw a breath of realization, turning from Sam back to check for herself. “Oh-... Oh thank goodness. You’re right,” she breathed, sagging to her knees and letting out a sob of relief. “We were right. He is still healing.”
It was a strange thing to hear, but for the first time since they’d caught them Sam actually gained a small smile. Danielle also ended up giving a short giggle too, kicking her legs once. “Told you,” she commented.
It was admittedly a very confusing conversation, but Dick had to just remind himself once again that Danny wasn’t completely human. Following Cass’ lead, Dick gently helped pull Jazz back to the stool she’d been on. “Let’s keep out of the Doctor’s way,” he suggested.
“Can you guys explain a little more though?” Tim spoke up now, trying to piece together everything that had been hinted at. Apparently Danny had actually had fourth degree burns, but they had healed despite him not having proper medical care other than clean dressings, and having been asleep for months. “I’m having a difficult time understanding how he’s not…. in worse condition,” he added, catching himself from being too blunt like his siblings had been before.
“You mean how he’s not dead?” This time it was Danielle that was strangely blunt with a calmness that made the others think she didn’t fully understand what she was saying. “That’s easy. He and I are both halfas. It’s harder to kill someone who’s already half dead.”
Tim’s brow twitched, and Jason didn’t miss the few glances taken at him. He doubted they were the same as him, considering he unfortunately couldn’t phase through solid objects or fly like they had seen Danielle do many times already.
“Halfas?” Stephanie repeated, pulling her gaze from Jason and looking back to Danielle.
“It’s short for half human half ghost,” Sam answered, as though it was an obvious connection to make.
“Yup. See,” Danielle confirmed, pushing off the table midmorph and floating in the air instead of landing on the floor as her now stark white hair wisped gently in a soft wind unfelt by anyone else. It didn’t look like much of a change other than she had different hair and eye colors now. But it definitely felt different. That eerie skin crawling sensation that people usually associated with ghosts that almost never actually existed.
‘...Huh, I guess it’s kind of like Captain Marvel, but with their ghost half as the other side,’ Tim thought after a moment of consideration after watching Danielle. “And being halfas give you guys accelerated healing, but… Danny’s is… hindered?” he asked next, clarifying that they were on the same page.
The nod from Danielle turned into a grimace, and she floated back to sit on the table once more. “Something like that. We have to have enough energy for it to work, and he used up a lot. This place kinda sucks too. There’s no natural portals to the Ghost Zone, and no ecto hot spots that we can gather energy from either.”
“The closest supplement we could find that we thought would work was the Lazarus water. But after getting a hold of some we decided we shouldn’t risk using it,” Jazz added, feeling the despair starting to sink into her shoulders again.
“Yeah, that stuff is freaky bad. I only took a little bit and it was horrible,” Danielle agreed, shuddering and wrapping her arms around her knees.
The others weren’t sure how to answer that fully, most of them being lost in thought about the unfamiliar data they’d been given. Eventually Jason shifted with a short comment. “We’re not too fond of the stuff either,” he huffed, then switched his gaze back to Leslie. “Have you finished looking him over?”
While they had been discussing half ghosts Leslie had continued her exam and treatment of Danny, having cleansed the obvious injuries, rebandaged them with Dick’s help, and added a simple saline IV, oxygen mask, and heart monitor. When Jason addressed her she was making notes about her results. “Mm. Aside from the burns it looks like he’s been exposed to an allergen or toxin as well,” she began, turning to face them.
“That’s the blood blossoms. They’re poison to ghosts,” Jazz supplied quickly, then looked apologetic for interrupting.
Leslie didn’t seem to mind though, just nodding and continuing her report. “There’s also the expected signs of malnutrition. If the human half still needs regular human nutrients then Vitamin IV therapy would be of benefit. The strange part is it looks like all of his bodily functions are significantly slowed, similar to that of cryogenic stasis. That could explain why he’s still alive after so long.”
“That also explains why he feels like an ice cube,” Jason noted, “Could you tell what’s causing it?”
“It seems to be self generated. I imagine this ‘meta’ potentially has ice related abilities,” Leslie answered. None of the teens said anything, but their tight lipped reactions and expressions of sudden understanding were enough to confirm Leslie’s guess.
“Do you have the details of the Vitamin IV needed? We can get that brought here,” Dick requested, moving closer to Leslie to look over her shoulder at the notes she’d taken. Leslie just shifted the tablet slightly, letting Dick get a good look since it seemed he was trying to formulate the next steps of action.
“Alright, it looks like everyone is stable for now. We’ll keep two people here at a time to keep an eye on everyone, and make sure people get fed and taken care of. Unfortunately none of you are allowed near any of our technology still, so we can see about bringing you some books or something to keep from being bored,” Dick started to plan out, giving a sympathetic shake of his head when Sam and Tucker groaned about not being let near technology. Jazz felt like it was fair enough, she wouldn't trust them either and at least they were going to make sure they had food and water. Plus they seemed to be pretty serious about taking care of Danny. Even after learning about the unique difficulties in his condition they hadn’t abandoned them yet. “The rest of us will work on getting the rest of what Danny needs, that we know of so far. Something to neutralize the blood blossom residue, IV vitamins, and ectoplasm. Does anyone else have any unique needs?”
At that point Sam raised her hand, letting Dick gesture to her before speaking up. “Vegetarian,” she said simply.
“Not a problem. I’ll make sure everyone in charge of food knows.” Dick nodded, noticing how Damian very subtly gained a smile about that. “Do any of you have a picture, or description of the blood blossom plants? It doesn’t sound like anything I’m familiar with.”
“The only ones we’ve seen look like rosebuds, red with black leaves and stems,” Sam spoke again, seeming to be more favorable to them now. The same care for Danny that was winning Jazz over was winning the rest of the team as well.
“Got it,” Dick nodded, gaining a pleased smile when Leslie also passed over a sample of the blood blossom affected tissue that she had taken from Danny before covering the wounds again. A tiny sample encased in glass, but it should be more than enough for them to figure out how to neutralize the remainder of the toxin without hurting the lad further. “Orphan, Spoiler, are you okay with taking the first shift?”
“Sure thing,” Stephanie agreed, giving a thumbs up along with Cass.
“I’ll stick around too for now,” Jason added, for no other reason that he felt like he should stay there for a while. At least until they knew for sure who these Phantom kids were.
Dick seemed surprised, but didn’t argue. “Fine. Keep in touch, we’ll let you know as soon as we find anything,” he nodded, motioning for those who weren’t staying to head out. He knew Leslie would stay to double check their work on the other kids, so it ended up being just him, Tim, and Damian filtering out the door.
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I actually had this one all typed out before I even started the prologue one. So I just had to draw something today to get it all up.
Drawing this I looked up canon heights for the first time and found out that Danny is a tiny lil nugget, and that's adorable X'D
I also complained to Na about "having to draw Jason's stupid helmet instead of his pretty face" and she gave me the suggestion of having his face on the side.
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Tag list: @galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships, @starscreamlover, @nerdynonnativenarnian, @dragongoblet, @zeestarfishalien, @bellathecatastrophe, @cj-ghostemoji-destielpie, @asexual-insomniac, @wolfeyedwitch, @tkiesai
#my art#phantom rogues#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#writing#long post#fanfic#mentions of gore#tw medical devices
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Ethical dilemma
Therapist!ellie (read part 2 here)
CW: smut, MDNI, dom!ellie, bratsub!reader, sexual tension is fuckin palpable, blindfold, hypnosis, walked through orgasm, talks of masturbation, mutual pining but there’s laws oh no!, no y/n, no pdor
A/N: I fear this is so self-indulgent I will not be elaborating
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“Highly unethical,” the auburn haired woman gives a small laugh, standing from her seat to walk you out as she always did. You’d asked about the details of the girl you see in her waiting room after you every Thursday. Dr. Williams was not privy to your sexual endeavors that came from her own hands…well her office for this manner.
She was a good therapist, best you’d ever had truly. Sure she understood all the lesbian lingo, formalities and functions that didn’t need to be gaysplaned to an unfortunate witness. But it felt as if she truly understood you, had a true knack to play out your actions before you ever thought of them. It was her job to fix your fuckups, not predict them.
She felt it, when you changed. How much thicker the air got, how she could slice it with her knife. The way your body expanded in her chair shifted, opening your chest for sight. Your gaze started to only focus on her, directed, pointed even, letting your lips open. When you started drawling out moments of your sexual endeavors down to every touch, how you tried to read her as she read you. You tried to make her crack, see any sense of appeal, to which she responded akin to a brick fucking wall.
Hell she knew your ‘new hookup’ was a sham, you were just dying to plead to her how unsatisfied ‘she’ left you. She knew the person you were, she knew you best after all, didn’t she now? You’d never stay, and she clocked it.
But she played your game, nodding along, letting you babble about all the times you had to finish yourself off afterwards.
She’d let herself have that, the pleasure of thought, the images of your panting breath, dry fingers, and cracked lips. In another life she’d agree to help you out, fix your ache. But Ellie was an ethical woman, level-headed, and morally sound, this was not her circus to corral.
She’d just remind you to focus on yourself, in whatever form that came.
‘Tell me to fuck myself’ you’d pray in your mind, begging for a mere innuendo from her, anything to use for later. You wished she’d talk you through it, and she would, in another life.
The entire time you’re rambling on she’d think of the ways she would walk you through it, praising you for how good you were doing, how beautiful you looked messy and broken down just for her. But a respected woman has limitations, rules, structures built exiling that from her will, “is there a reason you keep going back to her? Even though you don’t feel satisfied?”
“I need it,” you remark frankly, desire white hot that ate away at your skin like a bad infection.
“You need sex?” Ellie questions, her eyes forming into a squint as her head cocks. She cant seem to write this down, engulfed by your blatant admission.
“Don’t we all doctor…don’t you?” came out utterly direct, shifting your weight to your forearms that now rested on your thighs that allowed your blouse to reveal the peaks of your breasts. Maybe you were trying to intimidate her, and maybe it worked.
“This isn’t about me,” she said, but not what she thought, and you clocked it. The way her teeth drew in her bottom lip, the furrow of her brows, busying her gaze down to her blank paper. Never mustering up a reason to record your sessions, what was she to say? Lines blurring to an extent that shouldn’t allow you to still be here.
“But isn’t it?” you dart back, a grin easing up your lips, equally as maniacal as it was sensual. A pleading request for her to sink her teeth into, to rip the flesh from bone.
She should have asked you to never return, refer you to another doctor. Suddenly so aware of her surroundings, breaking herself from your delusions, “thats time, I’ll walk you out,” but she couldn’t, giving you a pitied smile, standing from her chair.
-
“Id like to try something new today,” Ellie says, an air of hesitancy rings through your ears.
“You going to reveal the skeletons in your closet Doctor?” You say in a teasing manner, crossing your legs in your usual spot, but Ellie remained standing.
A glimmer of a smirk forming on her lips, “have you heard of hypnotherapy?”
“First a doctor, now a magician what a pay drop,” you snide.
“Do you trust me?”
She had you lie on her couch, uncharted territory, too spacious for comfort, for rules and barriers, “now close your eyes for me,” Ellie remarks, seated on top of the coffee table, inches from the couch.
“what if I cant keep them closed, will I fuck up the juju?” you say peeping at her with one eye.
“I have a bandana-“ knowing you’ll cut in with your sexual advances she cuts off your process, “-for hypnosis, would you like that?”
You tie the black cloth around your eyes, cutting off the essential sense, suddenly so aware of your body. Feeling the tips of your fingers, the race of your heart, beating the blood to your veins.
“Tell me what you see,” the doctor pries, watching your open mouth, the way it releases at her words. The steady rise and fall of your chest, the control she had over your undirected weight.
“its just me.”
“Where are you?”
“I- I don’t know, it’s white everywhere,” Your senses so heightened, feeling the breath as it escapes your throat.
“What are you feeling,” Ellie says palming her hands, eager to break you down. The desire the scale the walls of your mind.
“Frustrated,” your breath beginning to shorten, that eery feeling creeping back into your bones.
“what else?”
“it hurts- hurts so bad” the burning to be satiated, body still yet so charged.
“Whats making it hurt?” Ellie could help, ease your killing wounds. Would she, or would she watch as you wilt like a flower in the beating sun?
“I cant fix it, it wont stop,” you pant out, sweat dripping down the valley of your chest.
“Are you touching yourself?” she leaps, walking the tight rope as a foot slips.
“yes-yes,” your mouth agape, fists balling into a white grip at your sides.
“You need to finish, don’t you?” she revels in your pain, the unstilted need.
“I need you,” you corrupt, breaking the thin layer of morals that stood between you and your desires.
“Im there with you, aren’t I always?” she taunts, voiding herself of her principles. Allowing herself to play into her horrors, you were merely a symbol of prey.
“Please-“ you breathe out, on the cusp of release at the expense of her mercy. Blood running hot as your cunt pulses untouched.
Bringing her mouth to the edge of your face, you feel her breathe through your body, breaking through your flesh.
Ever so softly, “let me satisfy you.”
#ellie tlou2#ellie x reader smut#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams smut#ellie#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie smut#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie x you#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x fem reader#ellie willams x reader#tlou x reader#tlou part 2#tlou smut#tlou#tlou fanfiction#tlou2
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My brain is going some surprising places lately with my dreams, I'm enjoying this 🤣
Last night i had a dream about a fake 90s/early 2000s low budget horror series, complete with shitty early cgi, and the dream basically consisting of a bunch of episodes of that show 🤣🤣🤣 this combined with the musical dream i had earlier this year surprises me
(description in the tags is really long so don't click it unless you wanna hear about this dumb fake ass dream horror show)
#from my understanding the show took place on an island with a bunch of stranded people there#and every episode was basically some cosmic horror level event that would either kill or turn everyone's lives into a living hell#and then the next episode everything would be back to normal and the status quo restored only for another event to happen#i only remember two episodes sadly but#the first one was about some kind of parasitic infestation on the people of the island#the first person who was infected was in extreme pain and they had to take off the parasite from her#(and when i say parasite i mean like how when in movies you see a huge lump moving under someone's skin like the mummy movies scarabs)#eventually tho more and more people started getting infected by the parasites#and as that happened the people started refusing taking off the parasites#leading up to everyone in the island becoming infected by them except pacient zero#and towards the end everyone was becoming happy with their condition and even willingly getting infected by the parasites#with one character saying a eery line along the lines of 'we only have to endure this for 3 years we'll be fine :)' cheerfully#by the end idr what exactly what happened but it basically ends with pacient zero feeling left out and wanting to be infected to feel happy#about it as well but the parasites refusing to infect her and by the end she's killed off by i assume the entity that was responsible for#the infection while everyone else lives a quote-on-quote happy life#and the second episode was a fucking parody with a group of teens trying to survive a monster apocalypse at the island of horric scale but#it had a more humurous tone and operated by cartoon logic lol#by the end of the dream#it even had a surprisingly clever visual joke 🤣#sadly i never got to see the end of the episode because i woke up before it could end#Gui's dream journal
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