#onion’s personal

[oniongrass]

why have i worked this job for two years with no problems and then after i put in my two week notice i get a karen trying to report me to my boss for bullshit and an old guy hitting on me????

[chubchow]

peace of snow

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Out of sight, out of - wait.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[crustycrackhead]

I got possessed dude, did a line of flour— some crazy shit anyways… Swampcat

Swampcat, Kremy Lecroux x Morning Frost

They both find each other interesting like anatomy wise, drastically different, some “lemme examine you 🤓☝️”

Kremy slowly blinks and Frost gets flustered… that’s the good shit to me man. Purring, Bellows… I SHOOT THEM TWO WITH MY AMERICAN GUN

[paladinbaby]

a patch of white anemones

the iliad, tr. emily wilson / electra: a tragedy, tr. anne carson / the lathe of heaven, ursula k. le guin / @insomniac-arrest / the first bad man, miranda july / what resembles the grave but isn’t, anne boyer / rabbit heart (raise it up), florence + the machine / burrows end, @dimension20official / the burglar of babylon, elizabeth bishop

[Image Description: Ten images of text. The first image is a photograph of a book page but the rest are black text on a pure white background.

1: “You already know this story. You will die. Everyone you love will also die. You will lose them forever. You will be sad and angry. You will weep. You will bargain. You will make demands. You will beg. You will pray. It will make no difference. Nothing you can do will bring them back. You know this. Your knowing changes nothing. This poem will make you understand the unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time.”

2: “Electra / And I know there is something all wrong about me - believe me. Sometimes I shock myself”

3: “The end justifies the means. But what if there never is an end? All we have is means.”

4: “The first rule of tragedy is to be yourself. The second rule of tragedy is to be literally anyone else. The third rule is that however much you try there is no escaping being yourself forever.”

5: “Then I realised that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.”

6: “Always falling into a hole, then saying “okay, this is not your grave, get out of this hole,””

7: “I must become a lion hearted girl / Ready for a fight / Before I make the final sacrifice / We raise it up, this offering”

8: “i think for myself, when I go back to that time, the number one emotion associated with it is tremendous shame and embarrassment which is the emotion it would take to never mention that to anybody”

9: “You were good to me, and I love you, / But I’m doomed” End ID.]

[shiftythrifting]

40 isn’t old if you’re a tree - a sentiment I can get behind

Let’s hope grandpa has a small business making stepstools. The stool-esque shape on the sign is a mirror

Man floating in the water has a custom canvas company sticker on the back.

Topical fluoride in a vintage-looking package. I couldn’t find a best by date.

And a white onion, spotted on a support pillar outside the store

Several shops in Boise, ID

[mammalsofaction]

since you've compiled moments where heinz is the possessive one... could we possibly get ones of perry being the jealous/possessive one? 👀

OH NONNIE I GIGGLED

Let's start with the basics 🙏🏼🙏🏼:

Their entire B-Plot in About Time:

Including their legendary first break up song where Perry started staring into puddles like a disney princess with a falshback montage:

(Here's an extended Alt):

Which led to Perry getting pissed off whenever Heinz is in Seattle without telling him (Meapless in Seattle):

And eventually Perry getting pissed off when Heinz got kidnapped by Peter's situationship and rushing to go save him in Seattle again. (Lost in Danville) (Yes, Perry is not the hugest fan of Seattle)

Heinz ended giving Mystery relationship advice and Peter got to meet Mystery's parents :)

Im running out of the picture limit. I can't find the one where Perry got upset when Heinz brought up the babe Inator, but here is Perry getting upset when Mono's speculating about Heinz's new date:

Perry being an overprotective asshole who won't let Heinz do missions during OWCA files:

Some fucking merch content of all things:

Perry being really sad and reaching for Heinz during their SECOND break up arc in Milo Murphy's Law:

Sending a card that was probably his equivalent to falling on knees grovelling:

Damn did I forget to tell you Perry takes pictures, edits, and keeps a whole stash of his photos with Doof in his wallet? Must've slipped my mind:

Anyway. The misunderstanding in MML was because Perry ends up being Time Industries' (Heinz future business endeavor as the Founder of Time Travelling) first and largest shareholder. He cashes in every penny made in overtime for Heinz to build his company back up.

Dan Povenmire stitched this chibi shorts episode as one SPECIFICALLY MADE FOR A "Specific subset of the Phineas and Ferb fandom" spoiler alert: apparently Perry's less upset about Heinz going around kissing people when it's Perry he's kissing.

Here's a short where Perry is apparently less cool about Heinz getting beat up when its someone else beating him up:

And here's a lil bonus Perry getting upset by a fake platypus Baljeet made when he went missing:

This is a very, VERY limited list, including moments of Perry being Fucking Whipped. I have carefully redacted moments of:

-Perry being sweet

-Perry being supportive

-Them being domestic

-Perry being so, so, so incredibly fond of Heinz

-Perry trusting Heinz with his life.

-Perry being sure Heinz doesn't have a life outside of him, anyway.

And in fact i am sure i have missed a lot more out of canon content. Perry being codependent, possessive, protective and jealous is common knowledge at this point. I've made a post before where Perry the Second Dimension proves that Perry has control Issues and an insecurity of being easily replaced by his loved ones, excaberted by Francis' frequent threats of relocating him at the drop of a hat.

Tldr: Perry suffers from down bad-ism and if you look at Heinz too long he is liable to commit violence ♥️♥️♥️

[blujayonthewing]

it's so stupid that potatoes and onions go bad if you store them together

'oh these root vegetables will keep forever but NOT in the fridge, they need the exact same specific conditions for storage BUT they fucking HATE being together' man fuck off

[textsfromthetva]

The Onion + Loki (18/?)

[starrysharks]

reassassination swap AU... fuckin.... unassassination idfk

[nachosforfree]

Post: you NEED to eat more than 2 types of vegetables I DONT CARE IF YOURE AUTISTIC IM AUTISTIC TOO AND CAN DO IT WHICH MEANS YOU DEFINITELY CAN TOO!!! Just find a way to make them taste good Its literally sooo easy!!!!

The notes: yeah! Here's some ways you can do that: *lists 1000 mouth torturing methods*

[paladinbaby]

returning home

no light no light, florence + the machine / gallant, v.e schwab / @arunima / where does the temple begin, where does it end? mary oliver / @doomed-bythe-narrative / caitlin conlan / @wolfythewitch / tired, langston hughes / hum hum, mary oliver / nine lives, ursula k le guin

[Image description: a collection of ten texts mostly on white backgrounds.

1: “Would you leave me / If I told you what I've done?

And would you leave me / If I told you what I'd become”

2: “Perhaps you are haunting me. / What a comforting thought. / Maybe it's you in the darkness. / I swear I've seen it move.” The first two lines are highlighted in pale green.

3: “in summer wounds fester and in winter they ache. another one of life's classic no win scenarios”

4: “I look; morning to night / I am never done with looking.”

5: “some people are taking “doomed” to mean “dead”. this is actually a misconception! you can be doomed even if you don't die! it's sometimes worse if you don't die!”

6: “It was never so romantic to become so obsessed with the past that I put my whole life on hold just to spend more time thinking about it.” Block capitals written in purple marker on pale blue paint chips.

7: “Constantly obsessed with the concept of a man forced to be a myth. What do you do when every step you take is embedded into the text. Every word you say prose to read. You're part of something bigger than yourself. The narrative tugs you along lime water currents. There is no time to rest, to be human. You must be great, you must be legend”

8: “I am so tired of waiting, / Aren't you / For the world to become good / And beautiful and kind?”

9: “Some wounds never vanish

Yet little by little / I learned to love my life.” The second two lines are highlighted leaf green.

10: “We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand our in the dark?” End ID. ]

[icewindandboringhorror]

What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

[secondbeatsongs]

the maillard reaction is taking its sweet fucking time today boys

[onionprincess97]

before watching the onion prince episode, i literally just thinking "what if you're a person who genuinely wanted therapy, and mikage just stopped the elevator and kicked you out"