#one time a youtuber i watched talked about thinking she was a sociopath and then her frontal lobe developed . Manifesting.

[koiroshiki]

nothing really sucks more than feeling like a selfish person because trying to get comfort simply feels like a selfish act .

[grindy-cog]

Do you think Michael remembered anything pre-Earth crash about his childhood? On a subconscious level or whatever? That's how it felt to me.

Dear Anon,

Before I answer your question, I need to clarify something, just in case I’m missing a big chunk of information here. I live in Europe and, unfortunately, I could only watch watch the first two seasons of RNM. The last two, I did my best to ‘watch’ through Tumblr and YouTube and despite of catching on pretty much everything important, I might have still missed some crucial moments, including those regarding your question. So, apologies in advance!

Now, I think it’s safe to say that from canon POV, Isobel is the only one of the Pod Squad, who didn’t remember anything at all, subconsciously or not. At least she, nor we, never realised that it was her remembering something from the pre-crash days. So, I’d say it was Max who remembered something here and there, without even realising it; but the question is, was it really him, or Mr Jones trying some tricks on him? Was it him, or the psychic connection to Isobel that made him remember something regarding Louise or Nora? And if it was Nora, was it Michael who subconsciously remembered something and projected it onto Max?

So many questions, so little answers.

But, back to your question, Anon. I think that out of the three of them, Michael had the best sense of their time before Earth, but he didn’t exactly remember, per se. I do believe that he knew his connection to Max was a bit odd but - understandably - he couldn’t put a finger on it; yet, he subconsciously wanted to equally obey and rebel against him. While a couple of times in s1, when he lost control, Michael lashed out at Max out of fear; generally speaking, he did shy away from him, whenever Max got violent around or towards him. And sure, it could be because of the hell he had been put through in foster care, of course. But, he doesn’t exactly do that with anyone else in canon. No matter how scared he is, he still fights back, unless it’s Max we’re talking about. Hence, in my opinion, while he couldn’t remember either of his parents, he still shied away from Max when he lost control, because some part of Michael, some muscle memory, remembered what Jones was capable of.

So yeah, you could say that Michael subconsciously remembered their time before Earth. But I doubt those feelings brought him much comfort, as however you want to look at it, he wasn’t conceived or born out of love; probably not even genuine desire. His father - canonically - wasn’t capable of any higher emotions; he was as cold, violent and as sociopathic as they come. And Nora… Gosh, I like her character, I wish we’ve seen more of her, but just like Alex said, Michael did put her on a pedestal; he idolised her and everything she did, however little he knew. While I don’t doubt that Nora loved her son and that she tried her best, she was a scientist first - a visionary through and through. An engineer, who wanted to save her planet, and then, whatever was left of her people. And I do believe she did all that with Michael on her mind; with desire to create a better world for them all, her son most of all. And yet, however you want to look at it, there was likely nothing gentle about Michael coming into this world, not with whom and what his father was.

Some part of Guerin knew that, could sense the violent legacy in his blood. That’s part of the reason, in my opinion, why Jones was so disappointed in what Michael turned out to be. Cause honestly, it is a wonder, how he managed to not grow up to be just like his father, or worse. And if you asked me, I don’t think it was just Nora’s love, or Isobel and Max, and much later Alex being in his life; but first and foremost, the lessons he had been no doubt taught and which some part of him remembered, regardless of everything.

Hope this answers your question, Anon :)

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Advocate January 2009 Interview

Chris Evans: Not Another Gay Interview

Chris Evans is a serious actor, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to stop objectifying him.

By Brandon Voss

January 05 2009 12:00 AM EST

After working a whipped-cream bikini in the 2001 spoof Not Another Teen Movie, Chris Evans fried phone lines in Cellular and melted hearts as The Human Torch in the Fantastic Four films. Next seen as a telekinetic troublemaker in February’s sci-fi thriller Push, the 27-year-old revisits his steamiest photo shoot and outs his even hotter gay brother.

This may come as quite a shock, but gay men enjoy you. I was well aware of that. I remember my mother saying, “Chris, do you know you’re #2 on some gay list [AfterElton.com’s Hot 100]. Brad Pitt is #12!” I was like, “What?!” I couldn’t believe it.

That was 2007. I hate to break bad news, but you dropped to #8 in ’08. Aww, that’s outrageous! Who took my spot?

I forget, but Jake Gyllenhaal was #1 for both years. What? Jake? Unacceptable. [Laughs]

It couldn’t hurt to play a gay role next. I really wanted to be a part of Milk, but I lost out to James Franco. I guess if you’ve got to lose, he’s the guy to lose to. I did a movie called Fierce People where I played a sociopath who wasn’t gay, but he does rape a teenage boy. You come to find out he didn’t do it for sexual reasons; he just did it because he could. He really was a sick character.

I’ve actually got an idea for a gay musical sequel to Cellular called Blackberry Storm. You in? Absolutely. Sounds like a nailbiter.

I hear there might also be a queer subtext in Push. Yes, those with powers try to keep it under wraps. They’re being hunted by the government, so everyone’s trying to lay low. Now I understand the gay man’s struggle. [Laughs]

What’s the status of your Tennessee Williams film, The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond, about a 1920’s Memphis debutante? We took it to the Toronto Film Festival looking for distribution, and it does not look like that’s going to happen. I don’t know if there’s really a market for a Tennessee Williams film. It would’ve been a tough film to distribute and make money back, so it’s probably going to remain in limbo and possibly come out one day on DVD.

Do you blame Lindsay Lohan, who was originally set to star before Bryce Dallas Howard took over? [Laughs] No, not at all. To be honest, Bryce was phenomenal in the movie. It’s a shame that people won’t get to see her performance.

Let’s discuss your sexy, now-infamous 2004 Flaunt magazine photo shoot — and why you seem more hesitant to flaunt your physique. I really didn’t think twice about taking my shirt off at the time, but my current publicist would pull her hair out if I did that photo shoot today. If I got to a photo shoot and they said, “OK, we’re going to do some shirtless shots,” I’d say, “Fine. No big deal.” It never really occurred to me that that could be misinterpreted as a bad thing or as selling out.

Do you think those photos hurt you? I couldn’t care less, and I don’t think it makes one lick of difference. But I hired my publicist for her professional opinion, and she seems to think it’s a mistake. I have no problem taking my shirt off for a role if the part calls for it, but my publicist says, “When you’re promoting yourself, being you, there’s a way to keep it as classy as possible. Greasing yourself up and stripping down may not be the best way to do it.” To some degree, she may have a point. But at the end of the day, it didn’t bother me then and it doesn’t bother me now. Maybe I dropped to #8 because I haven’t had enough shirtless photo shoots lately. I’m blaming my publicist. [Laughs]

When you need an ego boost, do you ever watch the Chris Evans tribute videos on YouTube? No, I just call my mother. When you’re feeling depressed, you talk to her for 20 minutes and you think your shit doesn’t stink. And you can quote me on that.

I read on PerezHilton.com that your younger brother Scott is gay. Yes, I do have a gay brother. I’m down with the gays. Mostly I’m hanging out with him and his gay buddies, who are fucking hilarious. They’re the funniest people I know.

Do they take you to gay bars? They’ve invited me out to gay bars before, and I said, “Look, guys, I’ve got to draw the line there.” That’s where a photo will get taken, it will run in magazines, and before you know it, I’ll be living down the gay rumor for the rest of my life.

Does your brother look anything like you? He does, but he’s about an inch taller and about four shades tanner than I am. He’s a very fit young man. Believe me, he does quite well for himself.

How did he come out to you? He was really nervous. He came out to all of us very slowly. His first year at NYU, he came out to our mother and our sister, and then he came out to me a little later. I was driving him back to New York City for school. We spent the whole day together, got to the city, had some beers in my hotel room, got into a really great talk, and he came out. I was so glad that he did. That’s got to be a difficult transition, but I come from the most liberal household you have ever heard of. And for some reason, gay men are just drawn to my mother. She’s a cool chick. I think, like, six men have come out to her. I guess they just feel so comfortable with her, and before you know it, they’re coming out of the closet. I think my mother was praying for us to be gay, so at least she got one of us.

Growing up, when was the first time you realized that you weren’t gay? When I had a crush on my babysitter, who lived with us for a few years. I must’ve been 10 or 11. I was just head-over-heels in love with her. I thought she was the greatest thing in the world. Then I had a really big crush on Kim Cattrall in Mannequin. I was in love with her too.

In May 2008, you were photographed wearing a T-shirt with an image of two girls making out. Was that your way of showing support for gay marriage? My buddy owns a clothing line in L.A, and that’s one of the T-shirts that he makes. To be completely honest, I threw it on without really taking a close enough look at it. On that day I ended up getting photographed at a clothing store — which rarely happens to me — and then on the way home, I get in a car accident. So I’m dealing with police, the ambulance, taking down names and numbers, all while wearing a shirt with two women tonguing each other. It was a rough day. As for gay marriage, it’s mindboggling and appalling that human beings are being denied civil rights in this country. But time will heal all. I have to believe that in 10 years we won’t be having this conversation. We’ll be having another one, because we’ll always find someone to persecute.

2008 was arguably the Year of the Man-crush. Who was yours? My buddies always tell me that I have a man-crush on Brad Pitt. What can I say? The guy’s great. I think he’s a great fuckin’ actor, and he’s versatile as all hell. I’ve never seen a movie I didn’t like him in. So I guess he’s my man-crush.

When I interviewed Milo Ventimiglia for The Advocate, he told me about performing “I Will Survive” in drag for the short-lived 2000 TV series Opposite Sex. He failed to mention that you were one of his two backup dancers. [Laughs] I’ll tell you the worst part. Milo and Kyle [Howard] look like the ugliest transvestites in the world; meanwhile, I think I pass! I look like an alright-looking woman! It was horrible walking from the makeup trailer to the set. I was ogled, getting catcalls, and being sized-up. It was very demeaning. I could definitely relate to what women must go through.

Have you done drag since? No. Unless you want to count the blue tights in Fantastic Four.

By the way, “flame on!” was typically reserved for flamboyant homosexuals before you stole it as your Fantastic Four catchphrase. Sorry, guys. Well, you knocked me down to #8. I had to steal something.

[nevereverthem]

Imagine Bonnie never left Kai in the prison world. Instead, she goes to stab him, but changes her mind. What should have happened after?

TVD Imagine :

Ok, maybe I'm a little weird, but when people send me questions I end up writing a short imagine instead of answering.... So, here we go....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonnie and Kai in 1903, searching for the ascendant.

_ No. They didn't hide the ascendant in a random pile of leaves....

He ponders a second.

_ We're not here to find the ascendant, are we ?

He hears Bonnie chuckle slightly behind his back.

_ Despite being a sociopathic murderer, I've always known you were pretty clever.

Kai turns around, now facing her. She's just pulled a knife out of her coat, staring at him with what he knows are murderous eyes. He watches her carefully, up and down, saving the image in his memory. Then, he extends his arms, confident.

_ Do it.

Bonnie gives him an incredulous look.

_ You're not gonna defend yourself ? Make up excuses about becoming a better man ? Find the ascendant and leave on your own ?

Kai lowers his arms, exhaling loudly.

_ Look, I know you hate me for stabbing you and leaving you for dead in 1994. But I thought maybe saving you from killing yourself would have earned me some points on the good side.

The revelation takes her by suprise.

_ Wait. What do you mean 'saving' me ?

Her murderous expression has been replaced with blatant confusion.

_ What part don't you understand ? You think that garage door just opened by itself ?

Bonnie's wide-eyed.

_ How do you....

She's too stunned to finish her sentence. How does he know ?

There's silence for a moment. Kai doesn't talk for once, he's waiting for her to realise.... After a while, Bonnie huffs to herself, disbelieving.

_ You're telling me that you opened that door ?

_ Well, technically, Jeremy did. But I was the one doing the spell so he could push that switch.

Bonnie's completely baffled. Her friends hadn't mentioned any of it. But that's Kai telling the story. That could be another one of his manipulation.

_ Let's say I believe you. Explain it to me, what happened.

Kai claps his hands, enthusiastic.

_ Ok, story time. Feels like these YouTube videos.

He slightly grins, though when he notices the look on Bonnie's face his smile quickly fades.

_ Damon and Elsa told me...

_ Elena.

He frowns a second, then remembers.

_ Oh. So, Damon and...her, they told me it was your birthday. I felt bad, so I decided to help them, and Jeremy, send you a message. You were about to drink that bottle of bourbon, but I lost connection. It required too much magic to handle four people on my own. Then I tried to send only Jeremy back. That's when it got messy.

_ What do you mean ?

_ You see, when I merged with Luke and he died, Liv was really upset about it. She came to kill me while I was doing the spell. We got in a little bit of a fight. I couldn't get myself to kill her. I was almost there but something just....

_ Kai.

He looks at her. She wears that "get to the point" expression on her face. Kai pauses a second.

_ Right.... Anyway, fight ends. I'm bleeding, like crazy. Jeremy still wants me to send him back. I'm basically dying at that point, but I'm feeling generous so I send us back to you. He follows you to the garage. Of course I follow him. After your "I'm too strong to let myself die" speech, the guy manages some ghosty shit to push the door switch and bam ! Bonster lives !

She's basically speechless. Still unsure of the truthfulness of his words, but that tale seemed too genuine to be a lie.

_ I almost died on a kitchen floor. I had Damon's blood in my mouth !

Kai makes a disgusted face.

_ I mean thanks bro, but not again-

_ What did I say ?

_ Huh ?

Kai's stopped in his rambling.

_ If all you say is true. What did I say in that video ?

_ Which part ? The one about 'going weeks without speaking' ? Or when you talk about missing restaurants ?

Bonnie can't believe it. He's saying the truth. He did come for her. And he nearly died doing so. There's no denying it....

_ I get your point about restaurant. Food tastes different when you're not the one making it. Although I like to cook.... Am I digressing again ?

In her amazement, she manages to roll her eyes at him.

_ Anyway, I did help saving you.

He wants to come closer but the knife in her hand holds him back. She finally speaks again.

_ It doesn't change what you did to me.

Kai stares at the ground, defeated, before looking back at her.

_ I know, and I'm sorry for all of that. I said I've changed. I cannot erase what I've done in the past.

They both stay silent for a while until Bonnie lets out a breath she's been holding for god knows how long. She pulls the knife back in her pocket.

_ So, you're giving me another chance ?

_ No. All you get is a pass. I let you live. When we get back home, you get the hell out of my life. For good.

He doesn't answer.

_ We gotta find the ascendant.

Bonnie walk past him, heading to the true location of the object.

Kai just nods, following her. She's not forgiving him. She's not giving him a chance. But she's changed her mind about ending his life. It means there's hope. That's the reason a smile grows on his face while he walks on the snow, following in her steps....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts ? 🩷💀

So.... Maybe I should try to answer for real.

After that "I give you a pass" moment, I guess we get to the Salvatore mummy.

When they're all back home, Bonnie explains to Damon why she didn't ditch Kai there. Damon doesn't really care. He got what he wanted out of it anyway.

Kai sort of leaves them after, while still being close enough, his Bonnie obsession still in mind. He doesn't go to Portland. Not now. He can go on his conven slaughter plan later. I see him just enjoy little things. Going to the movies pretty much every day. Catching up on 2000's music he's missed.

On the other side, Lillian manages to get her bunch of Heretics back. I don't know how, don't ask, just accept it happens.

Then, I suspect it all goes wild as it did in season 7. Except they realise they could use some help (aka Kai). They can't admit it. Don't search for him. But I absolutely picture Kai showing up on his own at a doorstep one day with a proper "Miss me ?". He's aware of the shit that's been happening and decided to 'help'. Obviously it's not free. He wants another chance from Bonnie or whatever.

Anyway, he somehow becomes part of the gang. Like a guy you don't want around but know he's useful so you bear with his presence. Bonnie is absolutely not pleased by that but acknowledges his usefulness and later efforts in helping them.

Then the Heretics stuff, the Armory, Rayna Cruz....

Bonkai happens ? (And not Bonenzo, sad but we make a choice here). I don't know how but Kai must really get on her good side. Since she truly got traumatised by what happened in the prison world. Some important event has to occur for her to properly 'forgive' him. Saving people she loves. Saving her again. Just, sassy sociopath who merged with empathetic and loving Luke, now doing good ? And just Bonnie and Kai's magic working together with an upper connection would be Oh My GOD !!

Jo lives so does her twins. And Caroline has another story than being pregnant with another woman's magical babies. Alaric is happy with his wife and children. And maybe this will prevent him from doing some fucked up shit in Legacies (I didn't watch it but I've read some stuff).

Gemini coven ? They can't kill Kai otherwise they will all die themselves. There's a sort of truce ? You don't hurt us, we don't hurt you ? And hum, even Kai doesn't technically want Jo or Liv dead anymore, nor does the Luke part in him. Kai abandoned his desire to murder them all ?

Meaning we still got Liv and Tyler. I want them to be happy together. Liv is free from the merge. Tyler did not have to trigger the malediction by suffocating his girlfriend. They get the hell out of town and have a life of their own.

Maybe there'll be a little story line about ending the Gemini coven thing. They'll try to break the merge tradition shit in some sort of way. If Kai ever happens to have children he would never want them to go through what he did.

Btw, I want to see Kai with his siphon niece. He would be so good !

....

I don't know if it's a proper answer, but that's mine. So bear with it. 🙃😅

Also, spent all night writing this instead of sleeping.... It's 6:40 now....

Hey ! Anonymous person ! I hope it was alright, you enjoyed the short story and the answer I gave. 🤞💜

✨💀🙄❤️🙄💀✨

The Vampire Diaries Masterlist

[carefulfears]

how did i not think to send you cali questions? do you want to talk about mia & becca 🥺

yeah i don’t know if there’s much to say that i haven’t already but one thing i think about a lot is when they asked madeline zima on the s2 dvd if she thinks that mia is a good role model for becca, and she said yes because mia doesn’t show becca who she really is or what she’s doing. that she wants to be a good role model for becca.

and that’s true, i think it’s important to her that becca sees her a certain way…just like how i always say that despite her boundary-testing, i think mia would be crushed if hank stopped seeing her as “a kid,” i think she would be crushed if becca stopped seeing her as the cool big sister that takes her to parties and watches movies with her while the parents are out.

hank loves to call her a “little sociopath,” but mia feels a lot of guilt, and it’s mostly in zima’s performance. in her first meeting about the book when dani says that she just doesn’t understand “what happened” to hank moody, and her face falls. when becca says that the book that was going to “save” them all “obviously” isn’t happening, and she has to look away. she struggles a lot during the trial; she sits her deposition, she anxiously looks over at him throughout her testimony, she goes to the sentencing and holds her breath.

but the only time that she gets really emotional, is when it’s about becca. she tears up when hank tells her that karen loves her like a daughter, and becca looks up to her. she doesn’t have any family left, and really is her sister.

“i’m just teasing, that’s what sisters do.” / “hey sister, mind if i cut in?” / “what am i supposed to do, throw her to the curb? she’s my little pseudo-sister” / “becca looks up to you like a big sister.”

“a shoutout to someone that i do love. my sweet little post-goth pseudo-sister. my becca. i wish that i could be there for her more.”

the big one, my favorite moment, is at the wedding…when she has her little drunken cry-for-help rant, and the show throws you a red herring, wants to tease that maybe it all falls down. and bill asks mia, “did you or did you not sleep with him?”

she looks at becca. the camera makes a point of showing her look at becca, and becca looking back at her. before she says “of course not,” tears up, and fakes a smile.

madeline zima says that mia is a good role model because of what she hides. but i’d argue that becca is one of the only people that knows who mia is. she’s the first person that mia ever talks to about her mom. she has this vulnerability to her around becca, that rarely comes through the persona she’s constructed.

the youtube video diary where she talks about becca and says that she wrote a short story about her is so lovely and quiet and you can tell she’s self-conscious, something that’s so rare to see through.

but i also love that there’s this extremely tragic and rough nature to their relationship….and not just in the big things (Thing), even in the basic circumstances of living together and growing up together through teen years. becca has such an indignant little sister jealousy to her sometimes. she has a crush on her guitar teacher and then watches mia go out with him. there’s a script for episode 9 that has notes in it about hank watching becca watch mia, and a cut line: “how come every guy i like, likes mia?”

when hank has to ditch his dinner plans with becca to go get a drugged up mia from her predatory teacher’s house, she hisses “it’s just mia” at him and goes in to sulk.

there’s this kind of genuine turbulence that comes with both of their families being destroyed (by death, by divorce, by infidelity, by addiction) and then shoved together. when they’re organizing the wedding, you can hear bill tell the planner “we’re a blended family, and i want the kids on that side.” (but they don’t sit together. becca on the bride’s side, mia on the groom’s, hank last row of the very back).

it’s like mia yelling “fuck you” at karen when she was 16, then 4 years later regretting it at the trial. “she was just being sweet. but my mother was dead.”

but somehow, they did have a family. or something close to it, the closest that mia had. (“this is my family, if you want to call it that. it is completely batshit.” / “my quasi-stepdad hank.”)

they got used to this world where they could all wake up in the same house and have breakfast together, or carpool the girls to school and back, or mia could come home from new york to introduce hank and karen to her new boyfriend…and then it’s just destroyed, front page news, mia alone on a hotel balcony saying that it’d be so easy to just fall off.

and becca’s reaction to the arrest: “she doesn’t believe a word of it.”

that’s honestly part of what is so affective about the whole thing: that it had such deep roots. it was this perfect consequence of recklessness and instability, from both mia and hank, and it ripped apart everything they had.

in mia culpa, the girls are laughing at the table together and running through bill’s house looking for movie stars. we never see them speak to each other again. they sit on opposite sides of a court room like they sat on opposite sides of a wedding: with mia alone.

they were sisters for a little while, for some really important years, but only for a little while because nothing could really sustain the lives they were born into…and as much as i wish (/hope) that they managed to keep in touch, i don’t think it was sustainable and it’s kind of painfully relevant that way.

[yoonia]

For my adaptation of sloth, I’d wanna take inspiration from the lotus eaters from Odyesseus (as well as the casino scene from the Percy Jackson movies/series. Have you ever seen the movies or the series btw?). I think this particular myth (as well as from Percy Jackson) captures the whole essence and theme of sloth perfectly. And again, I don’t think I’ve seen anybody come up with that concept yet. At least not for the deadly sins. I’m debating though whether I wanna cast Yoongi or Jimin as sloth.

If you’re curious why I’m considering casting Jimin as sloth (instead of lust), I just think it’s another one of the sins that would suit him. I remember watching some of their stuff, and the rest of the members tend to talk about (like run bts) of how Jimin had (or has) a tendency to not be on time or arrive late to things. Plus, they’ve stated multiple times how long it takes for Jimin to get ready (or him taking long showers) lol. I also think it would give a touch of irony (to either of the boys), considering how hard-working they both are irl.

So in this story, OC is another average person who lives in the rat race and just lives to work (unfortunately). She might’ve had big dreams at some point, but gave up on them (likely because out of pure laziness and that she didn’t want to do even more work then she already did) Then at some point, OC gets fired, leaving her with almost nothing.

Instead of looking for a new job though, OC just goes “f**k it. I’m taking a vacation”. So when she sees a suspiciously affordable but luxurious casino hotel located in an island (which is owned by Jimin/Yoongi) OC decides to go for it.

So when OC arrives at the hotel, she’s offered some cookies by a waitress that resemble lotus flowers (like in Percy Jackson). Surely enough, OC becomes addicted to them like drugs and doesn’t even think to count how many she ate. From then on, OC forgets her worries by partying in the casino, lounging around in the pool or lazy river, and spending time with Jimin/Yoongi.

But as each day goes by, OC notices at some point that she’s in an endless loophole, where she’s just repeating the same day but forgot any doubt or second thoughts because all the lotus flower cookies she’s eaten. Readers would get confused for sure and might even think that I might’ve accidentally copied and pasted the same paragraphs, but the thing is that’s exactly the whole point. It’s the same thing, day after day.

Like in Percy Jackson, OC doesn’t find out that something’s off until she interacts with someone playing a game, who’s still under the impression that they’re living in the 20th century (like the 80s) instead of the 21st century (the 2020s).

When we learn more about Jimin/Yoongi though, we learn that since they believe there’s (seemingly) no point in trying to get back to heaven, he decided to create an environment where he’ll have all the friends he could have (because loneliness). And since he also gets attached to OC and when he finds out she’s trying to leave, he does whatever it takes to keep her from leaving.

Perhaps making a Yandere Jimin/Yoongi(?) Idk I’m still debating on that because I’m not really a fan of yandere aus but still, it would work so well with this story! Or at least give them yandere elements? If I were to make them yandere though, I don’t think I’d go for the typical crazy sociopathic deranged persona. Instead, I’d make them a lot more calm and calculating who never loose their cool.

Even when OC has the opportunity to escape, she still has second thoughts about going back to her old life where she just lived to work, instead of the other way around. This gives her an epiphany however. OC realizes that what she saw in common was that in both at work and the hotel, she had the same repetitive days with no real enjoyment or meaning in her life. She’s also afraid of facing humiliation like when she lost her job and afraid she’s not good enough. Which is another thing that’s mentioned in the YouTube video I talked about. I’ve considered putting existential crisis themes too. I think for a story like this, it would work well.

Idk exactly yet but I’ve actually considered leaving the ending ambiguous. I’m still torn though because I still wanna end it on a good note and show OC and Jimin/Yoongi. I still would like to show that you can’t just only work or just only lounge around. It’s all about balance (that probably sounds campy though when written in paper lol). It’s something I’d rather show and not tell though (or rather, describe it without making it too obvious if that makes sense).

One thing I’m concerned about is how it might have too many similarities with the greed story. Since as of now, both stories start out with an OC who starts off living an average life but then falls in the rabbit hole of said sins. In the other hand though, I’m not too worried because another way I see it is that even though some of the stories I’m writing out already have parallels, the OCs commit or go about their respective sins differently (if that makes sense?). To be fair though, some of the deadly sins are pretty similar already, like greed and gluttony.

Also, somewhat unrelated, but for my adaptation, I imagine Jimin/Yoongi always speaking in a soft spoken voice, never yelling or raising his voice. When OC tries to escape his hotel though, his speaking comes across more as apathetic or emotionless, since apathy is also associated with sloth.

Also, I forgot to mention from my last messages but I’d like to give them all powers that align with their sins. I haven’t come up with powers for every single one of them yet, but I have some ideas for this story. For Jimin/Yoongi’s powers, I’ve been coming up with concepts of either of them having the ability to hypnotize people with the power of a flute they use. Basically, with this flute, Jimin/Yoongi can put anyone to sleep if they listen to its music (like a siren’s song). I first got this idea after rewatching Narnia a while back (idk if you’re familiar with the movie at all or know what scene I’m talking about)? But it can also drain a person’s will and emotions, and replace it with apathy, the more you resist that is (since apathy is another emotion aligned with the same sin).

Another twist I’d like to do is show that not only are the boys the embodiments of the seven sins, but they’re also the embodiments of the seven heavenly virtues. But because of mistakes they all made in the past, they’re banished to wander around the earth for eternity unless they decide to change.

You know, I've known a lot of fanfic writers who write fantasy stories that started their journey with books and fiction works through Percy Jackson series. I, unfortunately, was not one of them hahaha I did dive into Narnia at some point, though.

For some reason, I can see that Yoongi as Sloth can be quite a predictable to some, so appointing Jimin as Sloth would be a nice twist. He can appear really laidback, so you got a point there. It will be interesting to see a playful Sloth like Jimin. Even if your idea sounds a bit similar to your idea for Greed, I agree that the parallels would make it okay. You can make it seem different through the storytelling and the characters' trait. I love the idea of the repeated timeline/day and narrating it through replicated paragraphs. Stories that can get the readers lost and experiencing what the characters are going through are so much fun. I think it'll work with reader insert fics too since your readers can be as confused and clueless as your OC haha

I think from the idea you shared with Greed, you did insinuate about the characters having magic or special powers aligning with their sins. That would be a good premise and addition to create your fantasy stories and make things more interesting. I've read a webtoon a long time ago about a long battle between seven sins vs. seven virtues which was so good. It would be interesting if you can make the characters dealing with their inner battle where they had to struggle between the good and the bad inside them. Maybe you can make their backstories similar to fallen angels? like they were once representations of good and virtue but ended up falling into the dark side. intrigues like this one can create a wonderful drama for your story.

[malereader-inserts]

The Sociopath’s Son

Fandom: BBC Sherlock  Pairing: Sherlock Holmes & Son!Reader Summary: What was Sherlock like a father? Well, something you wouldn’t expect Word Count: 1,104 Request: @coffeebvster “hullo! first of all, i LOVEEEE your works so much. second, can i request a sherlock × son!reader? you can make it anything you want, it's up to you. thanks a lot before <3 “

You and your dad were somewhat opposite to each other. 

When you had first met John, he was expecting a carbon copy of Sherlock just younger. But, he was pleasantly surprised that you weren’t that similar. Sure, you were insanely smart and your deduction skills were almost polished, Sherlock was very pleased to hear. But, you like to store useless facts just to piss your dad off when something basic comes up.

You enjoyed sports a lot more, unlike Sherlock, in fact, you were heavily invested in your school football team, playing striker and vice captain of your high school team. Yes, you excelled in school, but you never really cared for science as much as your dad. You enjoyed chemistry, but you would prefer music, physical education and art. 

You played the violin like your dad, but you played the drums as well to be loud in the apartment and have your dad storm into your room telling you to tone it down whilst he thinks as you grin at him spitefully. 

And it’s not like you do it because you hated your dad, in fact, you adored your dad.

Sherlock was a lot different to you, his son, compared to any other company. In fact, you were one of the few people, two, that he would show emotions to. It was a side that John found a bit unsettling from him. Sherlock would do anything to support whatever you wanted, whilst he had a lack of that from his parents, he wanted to show it to you.

Sherlock was just delighted that you got his brain and you were eager to learn, though a bit disappointed if you turned down any chance to visit a crime scene. Though, both you and him know that Lestrade would never allow a teenager on the scene. 

Sometimes, you wonder how much you could push your dad.

“Hey, dad?”

“Yes?”

“Can I buy a dress?”

“Sure, nothing too expensive,” Sherlock says giving you some money as you say your thanks.

Sherlock doesn’t know whether you bought a dress or not, it wasn’t much of his concern really, it was your life and he wasn’t going to stop you. You never really told him what you did with that said money, whether you did buy a dress or not, it was only you who knew. 

Sherlock tried to understand your hobbies, such as dungeons and dragons, you and him had a lengthy day about you explaining what it was, but sometimes he would just really couldn’t get the grasp of the concept. 

“I think it’s pointless.”

“I know,” You responded, used to the reaction of most of your hobbies, “But, it’s fun and keeps me entertained for hours.”

“Well, I guess if you’re happy, then so be it.”

You would always beam at your father’s constant need to be trying his hardest. He would always ask you if you need anything for said hobbies. You would explain things you watch on Netflix, anime, YouTube and any other streaming servers. John would explain what merch is to him and Sherlock would try to look up shows you watch.

He even asked to join you to watch one of your favourite shows, under one of your request that wouldn’t loudly say that they’re dumb. He got hooked on one of your favourite shows, and you started to tease him about it.

At least, Sherlock thinks, you’re easy to buy for birthdays and Christmases. Sherlock is a great dad in your opinion and you share that opinion with a handful of people. John agrees, it warms his heart. Mycroft agrees too, your uncle always praises Sherlock for being a spectacular father.

Mrs Hudson finds it endearing, really she does, and she likes the thought that you are probably the only person that can control your father. Your father is less likely to go off the railings, he wouldn’t do something that could risk his life, because the thought of you becoming an orphan hurts him too much. 

Sherlock would never touch drugs again.

And he’s explicitly said to you that you’ll be in deep trouble if you’re going to participate in any form of illegal drugs, of course reassuring you that he would try his best to help you get out of the habit after his lengthy lecture if he found out. 

Lestrade likes this side to Sherlock when he first found out, even stood up for the sociopath when Donavan and Anderson tried to pick on him for having a “freak” son. Unfortunately, Lestrade had to stop him from creating a crime scene on top of a crime scene. 

Sherlock is a great dad.

You wouldn’t want any other father than him. 

It has always been you and your dad, your mother was out of the picture fairly quickly. You arrived at your father’s guardianship when you were still a few months. Your dad taught you all the basics; walking, talking, potty. You’d never believe that Sherlock was overjoyed to be a father. 

Mycroft had to drop in a few times to see if Sherlock was sure to keep you and if you were still alive. Still, Mycroft has copies of Sherlock’s videos of your first word (it wasn’t murder as Mycroft expected, in fact, it was dada - which warmed the ice man’s heart.)

It’s always been you and your dad, he was there to teach you how to ride a bike (he had to search up on youtube and ring Mycroft on how to teach you that), Sherlock taught you how to swim before giving up and sending you to swimming lessons. He was there for every injury, he was there to calm you down when you failed a test saying there’s always next time. He was there when you asked him dating advice, but he was a bit awkward and didn’t really give you a definite answer.

To this day, you still wonder what your dad was trying to this day because all you heard was gibberish. He was there for your first heartbreak as well. It’s always been you and your dad against the world.

“Love you, dad.”

Sherlock looks at you, softly smiling at you as you lean against the back of the sofa, your chin resting on the back of your hands which rested against the backrest. You stare at him with big eyes, something he’s very fond of as you grew up to be a fine young man.

“Love you too, son.”

“DID YA HEAR THAT UNCLE JOHN? DAD SAID HE LOVES ME AND GENUINELY MEANS IT.”

Sherlock rolls his eyes, every time.

[sintreaties]

Can you do an analysis of Yumeko's character?

I can try, though as always keep in mind that I’m more of a creator than an analyst and I don’t believe my comprehension of these characters to be above anybody else's.

(cut cause long post)

For the longest time Yumeko was and still is one of the most enigmatic characters I’ve ever seen. We know nothing about her past and now that with the latest chapters her role in the story seems to be changing, the only thing we are sure about is her addiction now.

Yumeko, as the series name clearly states, is a gambling addict. Now, in a word being an addict means that a compulsive behavior takes over one's whole life. We can oversimplify it in two statements: 1) I can’t stop doing this 2) No one can stop me unless I truly want them to.

In a setting like Hyakkaou’s this is twice as dangerous. Not for Yumeko herself — Sayaka’s background check tells us she’s quite loaded in terms of money — but for the people around her. There's a pretty obvious duality to Yumeko's character: on one hand, we have the sweet, childish, almost naive Yumeko, who’s able to befriend even her worst opponents; on the other we have a “plague” who’s unable to keep herself under control and who would do anything to get what she wants, ruining whoever is in her path.

The contrast is interesting to see in scenes like the one in which she offers her tissue to Sayaka because she was crying, knowing that she hates her with all her guts vs the way she completely lost her facade when Yumemite refused to play seriously against Sumika, or when she pressured Itsuki into gambling her Life-Plan. This is simply another consequence of her addiction. Try to politely tell a smoker to quit smoking, see how they react. Amberlynn Reid, a youtuber who’s become a lol-cow during her failed weight-loss journey, suffers from BED (binge eating disorder) and when she can't keep her impulses in check, she calls that part of herself “the binge eating monster”, stating that it pushes her as far as to abuse her own partner if she doesn’t get to eat what and when she wants to.

Here’s the thing though: addicts usually want to stop. Most importantly when their behavior starts to take its toll on them. Although they’re often forced to ignore them, they do have feelings of shame and regret when they end up to do things that average people wouldn’t do (i.e. stealing to have more money for their dose). They know that what they’re doing is bad. They have constant reminders of it. Just like Amberlynn has the hate comments and smokers have the warnings on the packages, Yumeko finds her reminders in her own sister, who ended up in a mental institution precisely because of gambling, and in everyone at Hyakkaou, the main example being Sayaka (I speak about this a bit more here).

And yet, here’s the odd thing: Yumeko never really showed the desire to stop nor a hint of true remorse for anything she’s done. People are calling Kirari a sociopath and a narcissist only because she doesn’t show herself as the usual cute anime girl. Yumeko isn’t that better than her in these terms.

The whole premise of the KKG movie revolves around Suzui trying to convince Yumeko to join the Village, where gambling and money are banned, only for the latter to say, “No thanks. I have only two desires: better desserts at the cafeteria and watching Murasame gamble.” (Full on expression of her duality once again).

Because of gambling, her moral compass is sort of all over the place. She never wanted to liberate the House-Pets destroying the system, that’s Tsubomi who got the wrong idea. Yumeko was an anti-hero for a while, but only out of pure coincidence. Simply, her goal of taking the Student Council coincided with the wishes of whoever wanted to see the SC fall.

Clearly, this could be because Yumeko came at Hyakkaou with a specific goal in mind. At the Academy gambling is often your only mean of survival and it would be foolish to give it up. As Murasame says, “Kirari’s a monster and only another monster can defeat her, hurting everyone else in the same manner.”

That does fit Yumeko’s character, doesn’t it?

So why does Yumeko give up gambling altogether when Kirari refuses to play with her and calls her an ‘impurity’? It would make sense if she came here specifically to defeat Kirari. If she was certain that Ririka would win, that would prevent her from obtaining what she wants, throwing out of the window everything she’s done so far. This is the only possibility I can think of for now, so the next chapters will hopefully clear that up.

Now, Yumeko said that she won’t gamble, but if she’s truly an addict, no matter how stubborn and displeased she gets, she won’d be able to stop just like that. The addiction will either take over or find another mean to express itself, just like sometimes smokers turn to food when they try to quit and how people with BED can end up becoming addicted to shopping, resulting in hoarding behaviors. It’s all about that kick of dopamine.

Rest assured though, that as long as her addiction remains, Yumeko will never fully be able to be one of the good guys. Not like this, and not in a world in which adults can’t plan a fucking intervention. It makes sense for her to be holding the Election under her heel now and going on it could only get worse, with Yumeko hindering her own allies — if she ever had any.

Which brings us to a final point: the way Yumeko builds her relationships and why.

Her first connection at Hyakkaou is Suzui, who’s in so much debt that he’s considering dropping out. He’s a naive guy, too good for his own good. He’s easy to mold in Yumeko’s hands and that’s eaxctly what she does in more than a gamble (ESP, Zero Nym-Type). Is this also because of the “monster” inside of her, preying on the weak to take as much as it can? I don’t believe their friendship is completely “pure”, though I also don’t think Yumeko is harmful by nature. She might not even be fully conscious of this.

We have Saotome, who believed herself so sleek and ended up as a House Pet. Why would Yumeko befriend someone who tried to ruin her on her very first day? Did she see a powerful ally and a perfect opponent in order to seek the thrill of the risk, or is she really just that naive? Yumeko isn’t stupid. Intelligence also comes through emotional values. Again, I don’t believe her connection with Mary is devoid of secondary reasons, though just like in Suzui’s case, the latter come into play only when they hinder Yumeko’s gambling.

Tsubomi and Itsuki were practically shouldered and then used with the promise of obtaining something better for themselves. Sayaka? She called Yumeko a “plague” and yet Yumeko never really resented her. Sure she almost caused her death, but that was a collateral matter. Yumeko harbors no ill intent towards her, notwithstanding Sayaka’s hatred. Yumeko doesn’t show hate for Kiwatari either, and yet he never acted right around her.

Midari, on the other hand, deserved her indifference and dislike because she messed up their gamble and there’s nothing that Yumeko dislikes as much as a set result in her games. The two cases of Midari and Sayaka/Kiwatari are perfect to show the contrast between the kind of person Yumeko would be without her addiction and the kind of person she is now that her life is ruled by gambling.

What about Kirari then? In terms of risks, Kirari too showed a similar appetite. Perhaps Yumeko herself would like to see her own addiction consume her, just like she thinks Kirari would — thought I’m starting to believe the supernova talk was more about the clan than about herself. Maybe, just like Kirari with Ririka, Yumeko wants to fight the part of Kirari that resembles her the most and Kirari’s refusal proved that she had been very wrong in judging her character. Apparently Kirari “killed” her sister, but that’s Terano’s word, Yumeko never expresses herself on the matter.

In all these examples, the main thread is still the same. The gambling addiction has always been Yumeko’s core in the series and as of today it would be impossible to consider Yumeko’s character whole without it. People tend to forget its extent.

I do hope flashbacks and such will let us see how Yumeko was before she became a kakegurui, because in the end, addictions are only a part of who we are — unless we let them consume us.

I hope this answer was as satisfactory as it could be.

[abirdonalilactree]

First gay ship I watched that actually became canon. (kinda toxic tho-)

Y'all remember the first time you saw your gay ship become canon? I suppose for many of you it was Supernatural. 

For me it was back in 2013 when the series finale of Rules of Engagement came out, which is pretty early if you are talking about gay stuff. Not only did we get a slowburn spanning over several seasons, it also ended in a gay wedding.

In this essay I will talk about why this ship is so important to me and why it also was toxic as feck.

The show is about two couples and their single friend, all at different stages in their relationships, deal with the complications of dating, commitment, and marriage. From season three on, there kinda is a slow burn until season seven ends with the two unmarried couples getting married as well.

What started as a horrible boss messing with his assistant turned into a surprising love story.

 I'm not sure why I came back to this series after so many years in the first place. Some of the jokes are quite offensive so here is a warning for that. But on the other hand, all episodes are up on YouTube for free soo… Right now, in the September of 2021 we have exactly 20 fics on Ao3 by amazing authors. We are a really small fandom. The show ended in 2013 but like three or four people are still here.

Let me introduce the main characters:

The married couple consists of Jeff and Audrey Bingham. Jeff has been a financial manager and husband of Audrey since 1995. He has a rather deadpan, cold and sardonic personality and sense of self, particularly when dealing with Russell and Adam, but he is not sadistic or unkind, thereby rendering these traits as merely ironic and biting humor. He loves sports, shuns anything that might resemble sensitivity and often views his marriage as a competition or war, refusing to let Audrey "win" the upper hand at anything.

Audrey is an editor at Indoor Living magazine before later resigning and the assertive, modern wife of Jeff. She tolerates her husband's insensitivity because she knows he is not malicious and will do whatever it takes to make the situation right once he realizes his mistake. As a couple, they both can be very condescending and manipulative towards each other, in order to gain the upper hand, and typically don't like to concede to the other that they were wrong.

Adam Rhodes, a sensitive and well-meaning, but extremely naive and super extremely stupid, co-worker of Russell and Timmy, and Jennifer's fiancé throughout the series until they are married in the series finale. He is a neighbor of Jeff and Audrey, looks up to Jeff, and often acts on Jeff's relationship advice -This usually results in making the situation worse for himself. Jennifer Morgan is the fiancée and eventual wife of Adam, who endures his faults because of his good looks. She is very self-conscious of him, and will often try to spare him from embarrassment.

Timir "Timmy" Patel was introduced in season 3 and became a season regular from season 4-7. He first appears when Russell hires him as his assistant.  Although he is fluent in seven languages and holds an MBA, Timmy is often forced to do menial work or to solve Russell's trivial problems which often annoys Timmy. While many of Russell's schemes disgust him, Timmy will often see them through so that he can enjoy Russell's deserved penalty. 

Russell Dunbar on the other hand is wealthy, only due to his trust fund, which he uses to impress and seduce women. He is presented as a seedy and sleazy man who only cares about how many women he can get. However, it is shown that he has a softer side. His relationships within the group are seemingly conflicted, many of the group dislike his behaviour and mock him, as they do everyone else, but it seems that he expresses just as much distaste for them as he does not choose to invite them places unless he needs them to. Through Timmy, he is analysed by a psychiatrist to have sociopathic tendencies which explains his destructive behaviour.

He is also self absorbed and immature.

...But the thing is sometimes he isn’t.

While all three relationships show a lot of signs of toxicity, Timmy and Russell’s relationship is certainly the most destructive one. Which is mostly Russell’s fault.

But let me show you.

From a psychological point of view, their relationship ticks most of the boxes of a toxic relationship.

Toxic communication

Instead of treating each other with kindness, most of their conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or overt hostility. Yet sometimes kindness is in fact seeking through.

Jealousy

There is so, so much jealousy going on. Russell really does everything to not allow Timmy to get together with a woman. Although only as the show goes on, it becomes clear that Russell is jealous because he has fallen for Timmy.

Controlling behaviors

Russell is questioning where Timmy is all the time or becoming overly upset when he doesn’t immediately answer texts are both signs of controlling behavior, which can contribute to toxicity in a relationship. And it gets so much worse than that. But more to that later.

Resentment

Yes.

Dishonesty

Yes. ALL the time.

Patterns of disrespect

Being chronically late, casually “forgetting” events, and other behaviors that show disrespect for each other's time are a red flag. This makes it red flag number six. 

Constant stress

A normal amount of tension runs through every relationship, but finding oneself constantly on edge is an indicator that something’s off. Yet another red flag.

This ongoing stress can take a toll on the physical and emotional health of a person. Which is one hundred percent happening.

Ignoring needs

Going along with whatever one partner wants to do, even when it goes against the wishes or comfort level of the other one. From his first episode in the show on, Timmy is forced to do absurd stuff he doesn’t want to do and honestly no one should do for their boss.

Lost relationships

Stopping to spend time with friends and family, either to avoid conflict with a partner or to get around having to explain what’s happening in the relationship.

Hoping for change

One might stay in a relationship because they see the other person’s potential or think that if they just change themselves and their actions, their partner will change as well. And it’s the little moments when Russell shows for only moments the tiniest bit of being a good person that make Timmy stay with him.

Walking on eggshells

One worries that by bringing up problems, they’ll provoke extreme tension, so they become conflict avoidant and keep any issues to themselves.

Lack of support however is arguably not always one of their problems. But we’ll come back to that.

And still, they share their sweet moments.

The following clip, made by CBS itself shows really well how it is for them to work with each other.

https://youtu.be/GfPI3HgMYoI

And then there is character development. Here the group of friends talks about Jeff lying to his wife about another friends bachelor party because he doesn’t want to spend time with her aunt.

https://youtu.be/LQPIFcrBltQ

Russell doesn't want to get married, clearly. This clip also conveys pretty well how horrible those people are. 

There is this tension and the gay jokes. This clip also shows really well how manipulative Russell -tries- to be.

https://youtu.be/XkdycXzX4ag

And then there are moments like these: In season 6 Timmy wanted to impress a woman who only wants to date singers so Russell teaches him how to play the guitar with the ulterior motive of Timmy embarrassing himself in front of the whole company. This idea backfires when Russell realises that he can’t watch Timmy suffer like that and he joins on stage and they start this duet that’s like super gay.

https://youtu.be/UH3P_LfBBQo

To be with you by Mr Big is an interesting choice of song. -Not only because it’s quite romantic but also because the lyrics seem to be surprisingly fitting at second glance.

Let’s analyze it because Music is an important aspect.

“One of the great unrequited love songs, "To Be With You" has a true story behind it. Mr. Big lead singer Eric Martin wrote the song when he was still a teenager - 16 or 17 in his estimation. The girl was Patricia Reynolds, and he had it bad for her.

"We were really, really good friends," Martin said in a Songfacts interview. "I was totally enamored with this woman. She was beautiful. Smart. I mean, brains, beauty, break down the walls, made me crawl on my belly like a reptile!

I just loved this woman, but she just wanted to be my friend. She'd have tons of boyfriends, and maybe she misconstrued promiscuity for love. But I wanted to be the knight in shining armor. That's what I was, a knight in shining armor. But basically, I didn't get my feet wet. I wrote it about how I would have done anything to just be more than a friend and a confidante."”

-https://www.songfacts.com/facts/mr-big/to-be-with-you

So much to the history of the song. Do you see the parallels? Do you see them? Do you?

Anyway. When Russell joins Timmy on the stage, he starts with the lines:

Build up your confidence

So you can be on top for once

Wake up, who cares about

Little boys that talk too much

I think this has to be taken literally. Not sure how much I should go into detail here. 

This however brings us back to the point of support from our list earlier.

I've seen it all go down

The game of love was all rained out

So come on baby, come on over

Let me be the one to hold you

I'm the one who wants to be with you (I'm the one, yeah)

Deep inside I hope you feel it too (feel it too)

Waited on a line of greens and blues (waited on a line yeah)

Just to be the next to be with you

That’s kinda Gay.

There are jokes all over the seasons that Timmy and Russell are gay but it becomes most clear that Russell is in love with Timmy, in the last season, when Timmy leaves to go on vacation and Russell misses him so much that he gets a girlfriend and turns her into a copy of Timmy.

Things get worse when Timmy finds out that Russell completely lost his marbles and chipped him to always know his whereabouts. This finally makes Timmy leave the company and get a new job where he finally gets treated with respect. It is shown how they miss each other despite everything. But then Timmy loses his work Visa which turns out to be completely Russell’s fault.

Right after Jenn and Adam marry in the last episode, Russell proposes to Timmy so he can stay in America but it becomes clear that there is more than his conscience that made him do this.

Russell turning his girlfriend into Timmy. (There is no heterosexual explanation for this):

https://youtu.be/sX1xTybc6vI

Timmy finding out how much Russell really stalks him. (like. he is totally in love with him):

https://youtu.be/jPWKdwpXCLU

Their Wedding (seems pretty gay to me):

https://youtu.be/Ymp-zaTmnD8

 You need to see the whole show as it is. A bunch of horrible people that are made fun of.

Furthermore you could argue that they don’t actually kiss. But maybe marriage is even more meaningful. 

I suppose that since we get so little representation, we like to clasp onto everything we can get. Because when I watched this I was too young to understand how offensive the shit they talk about really is. But after all it meant a lot to my gay little heart.

So many years later I gotta say that it needs to be said that it’s a toxic relationship after all. Don’t try it at home. Don’t try it with your boss or assisstant.

In the end it’s a green card marriage. But there is this whole arch of Russell falling in love with Timmy. Most clearly in the last three episodes but also starting a lot earlier. It’s a slow burn after all. It’s never said out loud but we got two bisexual characters right there.

Now I’m asking around my friends what their first gay ship was that became canon. The results really show that we don’t get enough representation in series. Just wow.

Hannigram became canon. kinda. They jumped off a cliff together instead of kissing. That one dude from supernatural you guys keep talking about got sent to super gay hell after confessing.

What I want to say is I just wanna see a healthy gay ship become canon some day.

Thanks for reading!

...So what was your first gay ship that became canon? 

[stephkaylor]

FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that.  In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries. 

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss. 

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show.  Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me. 

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass. 

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge. 

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable.  His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie. 

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys. 

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen. 

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored.  Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…? 

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way.  (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself) 

7 out of 10. 

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x  Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #475

(from two days ago, oops)

What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) I really like a steady rain tapping on the windows. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No, because I'm ugly. It's annoying because I've been wanting to take pics with Girt considering even as just friends literally none exist of us, but yeah. I fucking hate taking pictures of myself and it takes a billion and two tries to get a picture I deem "acceptable" anyway. Were you named after anyone? No. What was the last comic book you read? I don't and never have read comic books. What is your heritage? German, Irish, and Polish. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. All things considered, somehow my former best friend was the worst. She was homophobic, racist, extremely self-centered, drama-driven, excessively bossy, ungrateful... I will never be able to explain how our friendship ever worked. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Burn it. With certainty. We just aren't meant to live forever. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? 99% of my life has been Cringe. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? Be distracted/not pay attention to the other, like by constantly using their phone. It's so rude. That would immediately make me lose interest in you. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? I dunno. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? I was absolutely going to college as a kid. Fast-forward to the future, I've dropped out three times and am going nowhere. Little me saw me as so, so much more successful. Do you actually iron your clothes? No. Unless it's a formal occasion. Do you rent or own your current home? We rent. Have you ever used cursive after school, aside from your signature? My handwriting is naturally mostly cursive. Do you have your groceries delivered or do you buy them yourself? We order our groceries for pick-up, so we have to go to the store, but not in. Do you have a gym membership? Sigh. I do, but Mom and I have really been neglecting going since my time with my personal trainer ran out... What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror, of course. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? I am. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? EW no, that shit grosses me out so much. If someone’s laughing, do you instantly think they’re laughing at you? Suuuure do. How would you react if your parents told you they were having another baby? Well, they're divorced, Mom cannot stand my dad, and she also had a complete hysterectomy when she had ovarian cancer, so like... Have you ever had a garage or yard sale before? How much did you make? Over the course of my life, we've had a few yard sales. I don't remember how much we made at any. Have you ever had to evacuate your home for any reason? No. Which mythological creature is your favorite? DRAGONS. I love dragons. Have you ever been to a butterfly garden before? No, but that sounds amazing. What's the biggest bird you've ever seen up close? Oh my god y'all, when I volunteered once at a wildlife rehab center, I was FEET away from some sort of falcon. Guys, you would not believe JUST how big birds of prey are. I was shocked and in total awe. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? More than once. Were you ever afraid of the dark as a child? I don't THINK I was? What is the strangest thing you’ve been asked? Something inappropriate that really pissed me off. What was your favorite game as a child? I was obsessed with the original Spryo trilogy and would play all three obsessively. What is the darkest thing you have seen on the internet? I don't know, dark shit. Do you crack your knuckles, neck or toes constantly? No, but ugh Girt does that with his neck and it drives me insane alsdkjfaljdlfkwe. Are you constantly catching colds or other sicknesses? No, my immune system is a legend. Are you afraid of mice? No, they're precious. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I go on vacations so irregularly that I can't really answer this. I've been on a vacation maybe twice in my entire life. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't like musicals. Will you willingly sing in front of other people besides your family? God no. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? No. I don't like soup. Who can never fail to make you laugh? Absolutely my boyfriend. He's the funniest person I know. Have you ever been on a tour bus? No. Do you prefer listening to things through headphones or speakers? Earplugs. Are you listening to music right now? No; I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within. Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? Just one of them, but we were together at the time. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? Mom made pizza. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? Girt's mother has Covid. He's vaccinated, but nevertheless, he's still getting a test done just to be safe, and also because if he's contracted it, I might have it. And that means my mother could get it, which just cannot happen, even if she's vaccinated, too. The poor guy is really freaking out about it, but ASTONISHINGLY, I'm not panicking yet. Girt's health has seemed fine, I'm fine, so... We'll just have to wait to see what his test says. Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No; yes. I hate living in the suburbs, it sucks here. Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?' No. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. Do you have freckles? Do you like/dislike them? Not on my face, no. I have a few randomly on my body though. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No. Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? Oh, plenty. Who is the latest great YouTuber you’ve discovered? The latest, uhhhh. I'd probably say John Wolfe as a truly "great" one considering I watch him regularly now. Do you read the Bible regularly? Yeah, no. All the Bible does is piss me off, frankly. Name three patriotic songs you like. I don't know about three, but I do shockingly like this one country song with a name I can't remember. All I know is it has "red, white, and blue" in the title. ... I think. Oh! There's "Deutschland" by Rammstein, even though it's not about my own country. Has it ever snowed on your birthday? Maybe at some point as a kid? Idr. Do you like the way your name is spelled? No, actually. I wish it was "Brittney." It's more true to the pronunciation. Do you believe in astrology? Not in the slightest, and while I really shouldn't care, like believe what you want, it's a genuine pet peeve of mine when others base their fucking lives around what positions some goddamn stars are in in an infinite universe. They make decisions based on bullshit being spat at them that might not be suitable. I know, it's stupid to care, but I can never seem to NOT roll my eyes when I see/hear people blaming their flaws and shit on this stuff. Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? No; I have very few. What’s the band that you love even though you know they’re awful? I can't help but love some Blood on the Dance Floor songs. :x Do you coo over other people’s babies? No, not really. Like I can acknowledge a cute picture and be like "awww," but it's nothing I lose my mind over at all. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? The only high school friend of mine I'm still actively friends with/is still in my life is Girt, obviously. Like I have HS friends on Facebook that I still very much love and will react to what they post and sometimes comment, but we don't really talk-talk. Do you dye your hair regularly? No. :/ That's not something I can afford to do. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Do you know both of your biological parents? Which one do you prefer? I do, and I love them both. Do you store a lot of pictures you’ve taken that no one else has seen? I'm a wanna-be photographer, of course I do. If you had to name your kid after an American state, which would you choose? Probably "Dakota" for either gender. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have your normal dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. Do/did you doodle on your books at school? My notebooks and binders, ohhhh yes. Actual school textbooks, absolutely not. Who’d you last see in a tux? The groom and groomsmen of the last wedding I shot. Who’s the bravest person you know? Sara. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No.

[morrigansmuses]

3 Golden Rules.

On Ethical disappointments. 

I was raised to be tolerant. To consider the views and opinions of others, to keep and open mind. I was a social outsider (homeschooled due to racism in the local school.) I vowed I wouldn’t ever exclude people for being different to me or having different values. I was desperate to make and keep friends. More than anything.

I was 15 in the late 1990s. Lonely as hell. I decided that I would befriend absolutely anyone who would have me. Essentially anyone who wouldn’t beat me up on sight for being foreign.

I decided that I had 3 and only 3 dealbreakers in terms of friendship.

RULE 1. They couldn’t be cruel to animals.

RULE 2. They coudn’t sexually abuse children.

RULE 3 They couldn’t be a card carrying Nazi.

If anyone in my life did any of those things I couldn’t associate with them anymore. But barring that I would try to accept them as individuals. 

Thats a pretty low bar right? I mean how could anyone fail to meet those insanely low standards?

See back then I didn’t know that shades of grey existed. I knew in theory that we were all imperfect beings, but I didn’t know what that meant yet in reality.

So I began to make friends. With normal kids. Actually probably nicer than average kids because they were sweet and sensitive enough to accept me for who I was when no one else would.

So the first hurdle I came across was that some of these people I was friends with enjoyed hunting. They would say for meat. I get that. Better than factory farming right? less cruel, less wasteful.

“You shouldn’t eat meat unless you’re willing to kill it yourself” They’d say virtuously.  

But then I saw them in action. Delighting in the act of killing in a way that I knew wasn’t healthy. Laughing at the kid goat’s head bursting in a shower of gore or the way an animal screamed upon being shot. Killing more than they needed… That’s an impulse I don’t believe humans should engender in themselves.

But it was for food. Right? So I overlooked it and silenced the voice in my heart.

One day my best friend shot a stray cat with his bb gun just for the laugh. It didn’t kill the cat or anything but the animal yelped and ran away. I was so upset and shocked that I burst into tears and it all came pouring out. Was he training himself to become a sociopath? I asked him.

He apologised. He never did anything like it again. He was very kind to animals, especially cats, ever since and doesn’t hunt them anymore for any reason.

I forgave.

That’s the first time I remember compromising a core value. It was like a tooth being pulled from my 15 year old head. 

I don’t regret it.

We’re still best friends. 

The second hurdle that started to crack my young heart was the undeniable fact that in the early 2000s almost every guy I knew in his early 20s had a girlfriend between that ages of 12 and 15. NEVER OLDER. I can’t stress this enough. They would vomit in disgust at the thought of a crone of 18 or 19. They were also VERY vocal about their desire and right to have sex with children after a few drinks. By the time I was 20 I knew I had aged out of the 20s dating pool. I wasn’t attracted to older men. 

No matter. I’m asexual and prefer platonic relationships anyway.

To this day I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a man. Because once I realised that Rule 2 wasn’t one any of them could keep, the trust was broken.

It wasn’t only men either. My closest girlfriend was a 26 year old substitute teacher who fucked one of her 15 year old students on a drunk night out once…

So they both had fun and boys that age are up for anything right? I mean. He probably still boasts about it today…

Right?

Plus… She was all I had. Like the only one I had at the time. I was so scared of losing her.

I turned a blind eye and ear. I tolerated. I didn’t have to approve of their teenage girlfriends did I? After all there were so many of them that if I cut them out of my life I’d have no friends ever again. Because the whole of society looked like them…

Thats the truth.

People in my extended family have dated 17 or 18 year old girls and encouraged them to drop out of school to have their children. People I love have done that.

I once knew a handsome, intelligent and charming man. He was dating a family member for a few months. He often defended the right of adult men to date teens. “Girls mature more quickly than boys.” He’d argue. Everyone would agree. After all hadn’t my great grandmother been 12 years old when she met my great grandfather and married him on her 16th birthday (with parental permission)? He was in his 20s. Just a boy himself surely? “We all know what children boys in their 20s are right?” Said my Mother… Whom I love very much.

Excuses were made.

Years later I discovered the the handsome, intelligent and charming man had been raping a 6 year old the entire time we’d known him. He is still wanted by the police today.

My father tells that when he was a boy of 18 back in the 70s he had kicked an older German man, a respected family friend, out of his car because the man had asked him to pull over, he had something important to tell him. When he did so, the man said that the Holocaust was a myth. An exaggeration, a Zionist hoax.

My Father was dating my mother at the time. She’s Jewish. So is his uncle, a Holocaust survivor.

He yelled at the man not to talk shit and made him walk home.

I am not my father.

The first time a Holocaust denier (a respected local businessman) voiced their opinion to me I froze. Then laughed. Surely he must be kidding... I argued briefly before realising that he’d made up his mind.

My well meaning people said I’d made a mistake. It was my job, they said, to change his mind. To educate him. Otherwise how would he learn?

I didn’t speak to him again but I still nod at him in the street because he employs a few of my friends and I wouldn’t want to make things awkward for them.

And also I don’t want him to yell at me. 

I have worked with Holocaust survivors and have survivors in my immediate family and I still nod in the street at a Holocaust Denier because we are raised to be polite aren’t we? Let’s not make a scene. 

We’re mature adults.

Aren’t we?

People are starting to turn weirder than they used to be. Politically.

My Leftist friends are in a secret facebook group... Strenuously defending China’s Uyghur genocide because Communism can do no wrong… And at the same time saying all the Israelis need to be killed for what they’ve done to the Palestinians. One suggests a biological weapon tailored to Jews.

My Centrist friends are suggesting we “Hang up democracy for a while” in order to combat global warming and welcome a global police state and stop “kicking off” about our rights all the time. “Maybe we need a jackboot up the arse” one of them says.

And the ones that aren’t on the Left?

My facebook feed these days is getting awfully full of Rothschild memes.

“We own every bank in the world and funded both sides of every war since Waterloo.” They say, next to a grinning caricature of Jacob de Rothschild. Reminiscent of a Nazi cartoon of a “Rat Jew.”

Even a hedge fund billionaire prick doesn’t deserve that, does he?

I don’t comment. What’s the point? They’ve watched all the youtube and don’t read history books on principal.

My Brother is getting into Qanon. So is my Sister in Law.

She follows the medical teachings of a man who thinks the Jews invented Chemotherapy to kill the Germans after the war. Apparently he is becoming more and more popular.

Eccentrics.

Thats all.

I’m half Jewish. Like My Brother.

One of the Survivors I know said that 3 weeks after the Nazi propaganda came into the school he attended, he was in Bergen Belsen and half his family was dead.

His neighbour was jealous because his father had 2 more cows than he did.

I hear Marine Le Pen is neck and neck with Macron to win France.

A good friend of mine said it's because by 2030 Muslims will outnumber white people in Europe. He won’t read the articles I send him. But he sure sends me a lot of YouTubes.

I ignore them because I don’t want to hate him. Maybe he ignores my articles for the same reason.

Hey 15 year old me…. You, skinny thing with the ethics, the braces and black eyeliner…

Those compromises I made were made out of love... And also fear. 

Please stop looking at me like that little girl.

“It’s true” writes my friend. They’re trying to breed us out. It’s all an elite Zionist plot.”

I close Whatsapp.

Here I go again I guess…

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“Wake Up And Smell The Coffee” Speaks, September 16, 2020

- Says he hides negative comments because strangers telling you who you are is one of the most ridiculous things. They don’t really know you, so why would you ask someone what they think of you? They look at an online persona and act like that’s a real person. When you watch someone in a video sitting in front of a camera, you’re watching a character, not a person. Any moron with common sense could easily see that, but a lot of you guys are idiots. - Says he got a comment that said, “you know, if you weren’t so condescending to people and you weren’t so rude as to call them stupid, then they might actually listen to you and hear what you have to say.” He says so for you guys to understand what’s going on, he has to suck your downstairs? He has to make you feel “uwu so good inside” in order for you to retain factual information? You guys say I’m manipulative, then you ask me to manipulate you. - Says because he’s having authentic emotions like a human being, not trying to inflate your ego, and he’s not a sociopath or manipulator you guys won’t listen? - [He complains about the idiot masses with egos not being able to listen for the next 10 minutes.]

“People Are Crazy” Speaks, September 17, 2020

- Says someone came to his Onision.co forum to apologize for joining the moron mob that went after him with Hansen and the sirens a year ago. He says he calls them sirens because they play victims and when people try to save them, they crash on the shores. - (He goes through his entire Sarah story again.) Says after all that, she sang on the rocks for you and you crash and sink. - (Shiloh is a liar) - (They are criminals) - Says one time Shiloh tried to get him back by telling him she was actively walking to a building to jump of while she was on the phone with him. - Outside Keemstar and a little bit Leafy, no one asks questions about how credible these people are. - He warned you about Hansen and Shiloh. He was right and gets no credit. - Says they are making a documentary to milk this for all it’s worth. A majority of them were willing to talk to Hansen in the beginning. - Says they wanted to ruin his life because he broke their heart. They didn’t have a problem with him when they were in his life. Now they’re not allowed to be around him, so no one else can. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” He says it should be “Hell hath no fury like a dishonest criminal woman scorned.” - Says Jessica didn’t have an relationship with him or Kai, but she still acted like they did. She was 20-something. She says they’re a monster, let’s get them arrested. After she had a fallout with the other girls, she realized he was telling the truth. He says to go to his tumblr to see the apology she sent him. (You can see it here.) He says he chewed her out. Says she tried to get Kai thrown in jail over rumors. [I have no idea why he’s saying she tried to get Kai arrested. As far as I remember, she just talked a little shit on twitter and on Younow. It wasn’t really that bad.] He says she and Kai are cool now, but he’s not so forgiving. - (Hansen rejects his invitation to a charity livestream.) - (He warned you about Shane, Social Repose, Dahvie Vanity, VeeOneEye but no one listened. 🙄🙄) - (He tried to tip off Hansen about Dahvie, but Hansen went after him instead.) - He asks why all the women are suddenly mute everywhere. Asks if they want “justice” [hand quotes] and if what they say is true, why would you suddenly leave when you have the opportunity to have it investigated by the discover channel? He asks if they’re afraid they’ll come to a conclusion that’s not in their favor. He says the show never reached out to him, but he’s happy to talk. - He says he’s still on social media and doing videos that mostly go to charity because he’s a person of principle. Says people of principle don’t care about profit or ego. They only care about the truth. - (Sarah admitted to sexual extortion story) Says that’s the whole basis of this groomer nonsense. You omit facts so you can continue to attack people. - Says Hansen said there are 12 victims and one of them was from Australia. [He does a bit where he gives out plane tickets to imaginary women.] Says he has so many witnesses, people who you don’t know exist. Says when the investigation show comes in, they get the witnesses, the people that were here. - You guys paid for a laptop to be replaced, but never heard about it again. She said there were horrible things on there. - (The three women he dumped are all self-admitted liars.) - The guy who is called one of the most honest Youtubers might have been honest the whole time.

[batskulldrag]

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

A human Au where Patton and Logan adopt Patton’s estranged nephew.

trigger warnings for abuse, PTSD and anxiety 

included are mentioned brotherly creatwins, sympathetic deceit and no OC. any other character is either another youtuber, one of Thomas’s friends or a character from 2017′s Dream Daddy. 

Word count is obscene, I'll post weekly chapters

Chapter one: The Things We Lost in The Fire by Bastille

               Patton brooded into the house and scanning the living room only to find it empty, made a beeline for his and Logan’s bedroom. Fate had one nice thing in store for him because Logan was there silently grading papers at his desk. Before giving his husband a chance to comment on his sudden appearance Patton dropped his head onto Logan’s shoulder. Logan automatically reached up a hand to stroke Patton’s ash blond hair.

               “Bad day I assume?” Logan asked as soothingly as he could muster.

               Rather than answer Patton sank to the ground and flopped his head down on Logan’s lap.

               “That bad?” Logan continued to pet his hair.

               “Have you seen the news?” Patton mumbled, his voice blocked with hands and defeat.

               “No, I haven’t.” Logan was hesitant and let on concern. “What happened?”

               “My nasty, no account bully of a brother is back in town and trying to run for local office.”  Patton snorted. “And he’s lying about our family.”

               Logan’s eyes narrowed, unimaginative as he was, he saw a flood of potential falsehoods that could earn anyone a landslide of pity votes.

               “What does that beast have to say for himself?”

                Patton let out a sound that was almost a sob.

               “You don’t have to tell me, I’m sure I could look it up.” Logan sighed, still stroking Patton’s head. “And more importantly, I’m sure we can debunk whatever he has to say.”

               “The implications will still be there, even if they’re wrong. And people might say that we’re the ones who are lying.” Patton slid more of his body onto Lagan’s lap.

               “I know.”

               “He’s saying that our mom was a homophobe, and that she made him …” Patton tilted his head away and coughed. “Sleep with a girl to ‘cure him’ or something. That’s not fair. He was the homophobe.”

               “That’s his explanation for his son?”

               “And his campaign on how much he cares about other sexualities.” Patton rolled his eyes.

               “Patton, why don’t you go ahead and post our senior prom pictures on Sharebook?” Logan said gently, but with a sinister smile that his companion couldn’t see.

               “I don’t follow.” Patton met Logan’s eyes.

               “Your mother was the one who took most of those pictures. Payton isn’t that much older than you; how does he intend to explain that change in opinion?”

               “Logan you’re a genius!” Patton threw his arms around him.

               “I know.” The other smiled.

#                             #                             #

               Logan remembered prom night vividly, more vividly than graduation in fact. All it took to remember every detail was just a brief look over Patton’s shoulder at their first picture to bring it all back. Patton’s braces that he had haphazardly tried to paint blue by eating nontoxic paint, granting him blue teeth and colorless braces. It didn’t faze him though. He was still beaming with his entire being. A nerd in a tan suite with stained teeth. No one could touch him.

               And of course, Logan himself, who hadn’t changed much appearance wise since high school. Smiling reluctantly as Patton stretched an arm around his shoulder as they both stood in front of the open door.

               “Logan, sweetheart you look so stiff try to relax.” Patton’s mother teased.

               “Maybe I should move my arm.” Patton said quickly as he pulled his arm away.

               “Yeah Pat.” Roman chimed in from behind them. “Leave room for Jesus.”

               Roman was one to talk, he all but had his date sitting in his lap on the ride over. They both turned to see him strutting up the driveway. At the time his hair was dyed red, which made it look like his head was on fire. Did that shake him? No. He proudly wore red hair, a white tuxedo and a matching rose in his buttonhole. Elton John would have called it overkill.

               “You forgot this calculator watch.” Roman announced holding out a corsage of forget-me-nots and baby’s breath.

               “Oh, Logan you got me flowers!” Patton squeaked, clasping his hands together and pressing them to his chin.

               “Logan, is your dad single?” Patton’s mom interjected again.

               Logan felt himself blush and looked out the door for an escape.

               “No, he’s still married to my mom. Sorry.” He responded flatly, hoping they would just think he didn’t get the joke.

               “Oh, a little baby person!” Roman suddenly exclaimed as he darted inside, heading directly for the pram in the middle of the living room.

               “Careful not to wake him up.” Patton called to him.

               “Why’s he out here?” Roman whispered, looking up from the baby.

               “He was a little fussy, so I brought him down here where it was cooler.” Ms. Foster explained.

               “I thought Payton was here taking care of Virgil.” Logan added. “After all he is his father.”

               “Payt’s up in his room studying for his LSATs, besides Virgil’s only a few months old. He doesn’t have it in him to be troublesome yet.” She leaned over the pram and cooed. “Unlike his daddy who cut five teeth at once and his uncle who bit everything.”

               Both Roman and Logan laughed at this while Patton just stood there quietly.

               “It wasn’t that bad.” Patton mumbled.

               “Yes, it was, that crib we’re using, you chewed one of the legs off. And I swear Payton started sprinting before he could even walk. So, I had to be on constant look out for him, lest I step on and kill my own baby.”

               “We should go.” Patton pointed towards the door in an effort to escape.

               “Wait, Logan, you need to put the corsage on Patton.” Roman pointed at the pair of them.

               “Why?” Logan asked blankly.

               “Tradition.” Roman stood tall and crossed his arms.

               “Fine.” Logan tilted his head back and sighed.

               Patton’s mother got a picture of the moment. The rest of the evening was horrible. The car that they all shared broke down and they had to walk to the gym. They showed up an hour late and covered in sweat and grease. Then a few morons threw punch on both of them during the slow dance. The lights constantly flickered as if they were going to go off, giving him a migraine. And finally, two people backed him into a corner and tormented him until he had an episode. Which everyone thought was hilarious, so they laughed while ‘the retard’, as he was known, threw a tantrum in the corner.

That was when Patton showed how amazing he really was. He wielded guilt like a weapon and tore everyone down to below sea level.  He threatened to tell peoples parents, he swore to treat them exactly the way they had treated Logan. He labeled each and every one of them a sociopath and declared that he would see to it that they all went to hell. After Patton’s rant and Logan’s episode Patton just took him outside and they spent the rest of the night there.

               That had been the moment when Logan fell in love with that boy. Covered in sweat and punch and coming off the heels of a tantrum he fell in love with Patton. And he knew Patton loved him, come what may. Graduation didn’t hold a candle to that.

                                                                               #             #             #

               “Are you somewhere fun?” Patton’s voice cracked through the memory.

               “Yes.” Logan looked back over to Patton. “I’m here.”

               Patton beamed back at him and went back to his pictures. There were a handful of their graduation, several of Patton once he finally got his braces off. And many different pictures of Patton feeding Virgil smashed chocolate cake on his first birthday. Patton’s demeanor dropped and he sighed heavily. None of them had seen Virgil since he was a baby.

               “I hope he’s ok.” Patton thought out loud.

               “I’m sure he is.” Logan lied, taking Patton’s hand in his.

                                                                               #             #             #

               I’ll kill him. Payton thought viciously as yet another reporter asked him the same question.

               “Mr. Foster, how do you explain the inconsistencies between your description of events and the pictures your brother posted online yesterday?”

               “Patton must have come out after mother passed away.” Payton said smoothly. “And after seeing what she did to me, who can blame him?”

               They seemed to accept that. Good. He scoffed under his breath; they were all too lazy to investigate anything, so they just took everything at face value.

               “But Mr. Foster,” A familiar voice that didn’t belong to a reporter chimed in. “An examination of these pictures also shows her at Patton’s high school graduation, which took place after prom. Is your mother a ghost?”

               Payton looked across the crowd and saw the instigator. A man of moderate height and muscular build wearing a fedora with a press card in the band. To match that he also wore a brown three-piece suit and glasses of the same color. He didn’t even look like he was from this time era.

               “You cannot prove that prom preceded graduation.” Payton argued, knowing that it was a horrible lie. “And you cannot prove that it is our mother in the picture with him.”

               “Ok. But I can.” The time traveler challenged. “Other pictures of your mom would prove that she is indeed pictured in Patton’s graduation, with his boyfriend. And high school functions such as prom always proceed graduation. It’s senior prom, not post-graduation prom. Also! Patton has blue teeth in the prom pictures, but the blue has faded off in the graduation pictures.”

               Many of the reporters murmured and turned to the stranger.

               “Ok Roman,” Payton leaned against his podium. “Did someone put you up to this or are you on your own?”

               “I’m on my own. And I stand alone in the halls of people who look things up. These are dark days indeed.”

               “Pay no attention to that drama queen back there please.” Payton sneered. “He’s friends with my brother.”

               “So now I have become your enemy because I tell you the truth?” Roman said loudly, pressing one hand to his heart.

               “Isn’t that from the bible?”

               “Have you read the bible?”

               A hushed murmur echoed through the crowd. When did this become a roast off?

               “Roman, leave before I call security.”

               “This is a public gathering; you can’t throw me out.”

               Much to Roman’s dismay and his own delight he indeed could throw him out. But the damage had been done, everyone’s questions now reflected what Roman had pointed out. And worse still several of these dullards had now been bitten by the research bug. They may start thinking for themselves against all odds.

               Speaking of things that thought without permission Virgil had beaten him home that afternoon. His gangly, yet somehow short form was slumped on the couch staring at his phone. His school uniform was in disarray around him. He had his blazer on his lap like a blanket, his tie hung over his shoulders and his shirt unbuttoned almost to his waste and he had added an old hoodie that was probably decomposing by now. Why didn’t the bastard just go ahead and get naked? What a slob.

And, if he were to be honest, he thought Virgil was ugly. Most teenagers are and his son reflected that. Virgil had scattered acne and freckles on a pasty white face that he had the decency to cover up with makeup, hollow eyes, violet in color making him look every bit the mutant he was, and black hair that he kept in a stupid fashion. Who the hell even had bangs anymore?

               “Sit up straight, you look like a corpse.” Payton snapped at the figure.

               “Dead bodies are cool.” Virgil retorted sitting up proper.

               “Don’t test me you bastard, I’ve had a very hard day.” He pointed to the defiant brat. “And I will not be challenged by a teenager who still wets the bed.”

               Virgil backed down but shot him one last glare.

               “I haven’t done that in a month.” He mumbled.

               “And I haven’t done that since I was four. You’re nine years late.”

               Virgil slumped his shoulders and pulled his hood up to conceal the fact that his ears were turning red.

               Good. You stay where you belong. Payton thought coldly.

               “I told you to sit up straight.” He said tauntingly.

               Virgil stood up and walked to the stairs.

               “Why doesn’t daddy love me?” He mocked Virgil as he walked. “I wonder.”

               Virgil stormed up the stairs and into his room. He would have punctuated this tantrum by slamming the door. But his room didn’t have one.

                                                                               #             #             #

               “Have you seen the news?” Roman yelled, bursting into the room and slamming the door open.

               “Roman, how many times do I have to tell you not to slam the door?” Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

               “What’s up Roman?” Patton asked tilting his head to the side.

               “They’re investigating your brother for mishandling campaign funds, and they found out that he left that law firm he worked for under suspicion of tampering with evidence. And something about hiding information or something.” Roman monologued.

               “If he was a lawyer then he would be required to share any evidence he obtained with the opposing counsel, even if it hurt his own case. It was started after the Brady vs Maryland case, during which-”  

               “Logan, not now.” Patton squeezed his shoulder gently. “Is that all, Roman, is Virgil ok?”

               “I – I don’t know. He’s just kinda in the background of all this.” Roman’s posture dropped. “What if we ruined his life!?”

               “Oh gosh, if Payton gets sent to prison it’ll be all my fault!” Patton jumped off the couch in terror. “I’m a horrible brother! I’m a horrible uncle! I’m a horrible person! I ruined his life in three days!”

               “We’re going straight to hell!” Roman pulled on his jacket as if he were trying to pull himself together.

               “No, stop. Both of you.” Logan stood up to reason with them at eye level. “No one’s going to hell, or prison … well I can guarantee no one’s going to hell.”

               “What have I done!?” Patton dropped to the floor and curled into a ball. “I’m a horrible person!”

               “Patton. If your brother is guilty of what they accuse him of, then he only has himself to blame for being in trouble. All you did was innocently post a few things on Sharebook to set the record straight.”

               “Roman,” He continued. “What you did was stupid, but I don’t think it caused anything but a few jokes around the water cooler.”

               A loud gasp came from the floor that led the other two to believe that Patton was crying.

               “I can’t do this. The guilt is killing me!”

               “You didn’t do anything! Payton is in trouble with the law because he broke it. That has nothing to do with us!” Logan objected.

               “But the pictures.” He looked up tearfully.

               “Only served to prove that your mother was not a homophobe.”

               “And Roman?”

               “Is an idiot.”

               “Hey!” Roman protested.

               “But he also had nothing to do with this.”

               “What about Virgil?” Roman asked softly from the doorway.

               No one knew what to say.

                                                                               #             #             #

               It had been five days since Patton’s idiotic meddling on Sharebook, and the worst part was that Payton couldn’t figure out if it was intentional or not. His younger brother never could have thought of something like this. But he did have that drama queen, and that retard he married. One of them might have done this.

               “Dad, can we talk?” Virgil interrupted him, typical.

               “What could you possibly want?” He glared up from his work.

               Virgil was still in his pajamas, wearing no makeup and looking like a member of the living dead. Before speaking he turned away and coughed violently.

               “Are you sick again!?” Payton growled. “I swear if I let you lose in the wild, you’d be dead in an instant. I don’t know what’s keeping you alive; it’s certainly not a higher purpose. There, now we’ve talked. And I’m worse off for it. Now scram.”

               “Is all the stuff on the news true?” Virgil rasped.

               “I recall telling you to go away…”

               “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll just have to decide for myself.”

               “Knowing you, you’ll side with the masses. Keeps people from having to think. You’d like that.”

               “Why are you teeing off on me!? All I asked for was a yes or no answer.”

               “That’s a lot of back bone for somebody who hasn’t shown me his final report card yet.” He didn’t even look up. “We had to do summer school last year and they still held you back. If either of those things happen this year… well no point in speculating over things that won’t happen.”

               That was the thread he needed to pull evidently. Virgil retreated.

               Before going to his room Virgil stumbled into the bathroom and threw up. His heart was beating its way out of his chest, the room was spinning.

               Spinning

                               Spinning

                                               S

                                                   P

                                                      I

                                                         N

                                                               N

                                                                   I

                                                                               N

                                                                                   G

He fell to the floor, arms and legs both feeling like static.

No! not another one! He dizzily protested, forcing in several ragged breaths just have air.

Hell only knows how long he was laying on the bathroom floor before he calmed himself down. But he somehow managed and dragged himself back to his room. It wasn’t long before he passed out on his bed.

#             #             #

               It’s now been nearly two weeks since everything started. Virgil hasn’t gotten over whatever he caught this time. But his dad hasn’t been home too much lately, so there was still solaced to be found. He lay in bed, sweating from fever and almost let himself dare to have hope. His dad may end up in prison before the summer was over. Maybe he could testify. He could tell if his dad was in prison, hell he’d scream it from the rooftops if his dad wasn’t around to provide consequences.

                                                                               #             #             #

               Payton set the smoke detector down on a table in the hallway and looked in Virgil’s room. Virgil was passed out in his bed, no doubt out of his mind on cold medicine and looking pale and tragic. He slid into the room and stood over him.

               “Poor Virgil.” He scoffed, wiping his greasy hair off his sweat covered forehead. “I really tried to want you. Hell, I wanted to want you. It just didn’t work out that way.”

               Virgil coughed lightly in his sleep and turned over uneasily. Everything that kid did was uneasy. Payton picked up the half full bottle of medicine on the nightstand and stared into it apathetically.

               Virgil jolted bolt upright and coughed violently. Payton quietly watched him fight for air.

               “Why are you in here?” Virgil panted, already trembling with fear.

               “It’s alright.” Payton said softly, placing the back of his hand on Virgil’s forehead. “I’m just checking on you.”

               “Why?” Virgil recoiled from his hand.

               “You’re sick, aren’t you?” Payton cupped Virgil’s face in his hands. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok before I left.”

               Virgil settled into his hands and stared up at him. Hope dotted itself in his unnatural eyes. He was helpless to resist temptation. Sucker.

               “Alright. I have a meeting tonight.” Payton ran his hand through Virgil’s hair. “But tomorrow I’m taking you to the doctor.”

               “Why?” Virgil jolted back. His eyes lit with terror.

               “No, I’m taking you to get this sickness checked out.” Payton purred. “You know I’d never hurt you for no reason.”

               “No?” He squeaked.

               “Of course not. Have I ever hurt you when you haven’t done anything?”

               “No?” Virgil’s breathing sped up.

               “Of course not. Now drink your medicine and try to get some sleep.”

               With quivering hands Virgil took the bottle from him and drank it obediently.

               “There’s a good boy.” Payton smiled.

               As a finishing move Payton tucked Virgil in before leaving. Virgil shivered the entire time. Payton couldn’t tell if he was excited to have the attention of if he was just that terrified. It didn’t really matter.

               Either way, Payton had the little parasite right where he wanted him. And today that meant he was right here in bed, sound asleep. Dead to the world.

               Payton stopped in his study and dropped the rug over the lamp’s newly frayed cord. He ‘accidentally’ left the lamp on before he left. As far as anyone would ask.

                                                                               #             #             #

Roman was feeling high on life. He was on his way home from an excellent performance of The Lion King in which he, being one of the only people who could sing and dance and sit through the makeup process to audition, had played Mufasa one night and Scar the next. Both were amazing parts. Just think two on stage deaths, and a solo on villain nights. And who doesn’t love a villain?

               To cap off this evening he had become quite close with the actor playing Timonen, who was especially charming. Yes, things were lovely. He nearly lost control of his motorcycle at the thought. As he steadied himself back, he checked the clock in the center, it was very nearly midnight.

               “Well, I’m sure the love birds are done with their date night by now.” He said out loud, nearly drowned out by his engine.

               Roman nodded to himself and looked for a driveway to turn around in. Preferably one where nobody was home to bother with his bike. He was a gentleman after all. Roman pulled into an empty driveway and made a U-turn back towards the road.

               But something leaked into his helmet and stopped Roman in his tracks. It was the unmistakable smell of smoke. He dropped his bike and whipped around to see the house behind him glowing with flames and billowing thick black smoke. Without a second thought he tossed his helmet to the ground and called for help.

               The house itself was a two-story building that was fairly isolated from neighbors. And there wasn’t another soul outside, so no one had seen the fire yet. While Roman was giving the address the windows in the bottom floor exploded, punctuated by the sound of sirens in the distance. It looked like everything would be ok… luckily, no one was home.

               No! He was wrong! It’s not ok! The glow of the fire had illuminated the figure of someone on the second floor trying to break the window. The room they were in was already on fire. Not having time for caution, Roman bounded towards the house. He could hear the firefighters behind him yelling for him to stop as they pulled up, but he had already leapt onto the landing by the time the words sank in. He could jump surprisingly high; as a dancer he had the legs for it. He pulled himself up the gutter, wrapped his jacket over his fist and with one blow he shattered the window and the person jumped out, coughing up both lungs.

               Both he and the sole survivor were blown back by a gust of hot wind. It was like Satan had roared at them. Obviously dizzy from inhaling so much smoke the survivor, who looked no more than twelve fell back when Satan roared and slid down the roof. Roman leapt for him and saw the kid grab hold of the same gutter, and lose his hold falling to the ground feet first. Roman jumped down after him and scoped him up gently, he was still breathing. But not very strongly. He ran the kid to the nearest ambulance.

                                                                               #             #             #

               ‘F’ is for friends who do stuff together…

               Patton groggily pulled his phone off the nightstand. Why was Roman calling at one in the morning?

               “Ehlo?” He mumbled into the receiver.

               “Hey friendo …” Roman’s voice was hesitant. “Can you come get me from the hospital? I know it’s late, but I’ve had a night.”

               “Hold that thought kiddo.” Patton said calmly, before turning to Logan. “Logan! Roman is in the hospital! My friends are being punished for my sins!” He panicked.

               “We’re married.” Logan mumbled, not even half awake.

               “We’ll be right down to get you honey.” Patton faked a cool demeanor over the phone.

               “I heard you yelling. And, I should point out that I’m not hurt.”

                                                                               #             #             #

               “Roman what happened?!” Patton rushed over to him.

               “Well, there was a fire…” Roman began.

               “At the theater!? Was anybody hurt?! Did Remus start the fire!? Is he back so soon!?”

               Patton looked down and saw that Roman’s right hand in a cast.

               “You are too hurt! Why did you lie to me!?”

               Logan stepped up and pulled Patton back by the shoulder.

               “Everything’s going to be ok Patton. If Roman was badly hurt, they wouldn’t let him leave just yet.” He said calmly. “Now let’s just let him tell the story.”

               “Ok.” Patton mumbled, burying his face in Logan’s shoulder.

               “Ok, on my way home I encountered a house on fire. So, I called the authorities. Then I saw that there was someone trapped upstairs. So, I jumped onto the landing and broke the window with my fist.” Roman explained slowly and without any of his normal flare.

               “Why would you do that? You could have been killed?” Logan asked, flustered at Roman’s general lack of caution.

               “There was someone in there! A little kid trapped in a fire! Wouldn’t you have?”

               “If emergency services hadn’t yet arrived and there was no time to wait, I suppose I would. Had such services arrived?”

               “…” Roman looked down. “Yes.”

               “Are you ok?” Patton asked softly.

               “Yes, it’s just a few cuts. And apparently, I punched the window wrong and broke my wrist. I don’t think I’ll be able to do the matinee tomorrow. I’ll call Robert to pick up my bike.”

               “Is the kid?”

               “They haven’t told me how he is. Apparently only family gets to know the details.” He rolled his eyes.

               “Hippa laws.” Logan added. “Standard doctor/patient confidentiality to protect the privacy of the patient…”

               “Don’t you start.” Roman pointed at him angrily. “All they told me was that he’d be fine.”

               “Did the police take your statement?”

               “Yeah. An unfortunate number of officers are familiar with me. And they almost exclusively know me as the guy with the crazy twin.”

               “Speaking of brothers…” Patton interrupted almost as if he were in a trance.

               The other two turned in unison to see what Patton was staring at so intently. And speak of the Devil there was Payton.

[yourwakingnightmares]

Now, I’ve made no secret that I loathe the new Star Wars movies. However, I do want to take a moment to point out all the potential that was there.

Fans of the movie will often say that people who disliked are...

1. Old school fans who wanted to see the OT cast be the main focus

2. Evil white men who hate women and minorities

3 (and the one I hate the most). Taking a movie about ‘space wizards’ too seriously.

However, this discounts the fact that many people WANTED to like the new movies; many who disliked the movies will admit that there was potential, even with the mess that we were given.

Let’s talk about Kylo Ren. I think Adam Driver did an amazing job with a character who had no internal consistency, or logic. I came out of the trilogy WANTING to like Kylo. I wanted to know more about him, despite being (as one YouTuber put it) the definition of tangled up Christmas Tree lights drenched in yogurt and acid.

Despite this inconsistency, despite his steady flipflopping around the screen, he had so much potential -why did Luke sense this potential for evil in him? Were the Knights of Ren the students who went with him? Why is he so intent on living up to Darth Vader? Where did this hero worship come from? Why was Snoke able to latch on to him? How did he even get to Snoke as a presumably young teenager? Why is he so desperate for Rey to love him back?

(Be advised: Spoilers for all three Star Wars sequels below)

One of the moments that evoked a heartfelt emotion in meme, while watching these movies, the only memorable moment I felt an emotion other than disgust or annoyance watching this, was when Kylo tells Rey, “You’re nothing; a nobody. You have no place in this story,” while seemingly choked with emotion. Here is a man, desperate for this woman to come with him. He’s telling her that, sure, maybe she doesn’t have a place in this large, intergalactic war, but she has a place with him. He doesn’t care that she’s a nobody; he wants her as she is. She can be a nobody to everyone else, but to him, she’s important, and she has a place in his story.

I wanted so much more from this! Is Kylo so desperate for love because everyone was always too busy for him as a child -Leia organizing the Republic, Han at her side? Or, if Han and Leia had broken up before he went off to Luke for training, was he stuck in the middle of their fighting?

While he was training with Luke, what was their relationship? Why did the sting of Luke’s betrayal drive him to become a near-sociopathic mass murderer, trying to resurrect the Empire? Did he love his Uncle? Idolize him? Was Luke the only one there for him as a child? Is that why Luke’s betrayal drove him into such a frenzy?

What about Kylo and Chewbacca? In the Rise of Skywalker, we see that he’s captured Chewbacca, yet we’re given no emotion in this scene.Think of the lost potential here!

“Chewie. I’m sorry it came to this; you were always kind to me, and you don’t deserve this.”

Or how about...

“My father was always so busy with you, Han and Chewie, off to save the world; you were more family to him than I ever was.”

Either of those lines would’ve given us so much more background on the two of them, and would’ve been a highly emotional scene for both the old fans, and the new fans.

Why was he so prone to fits of rage whenever something went poorly? Was he afraid of failure? Afraid that Snoke would turn on him, as Luke had? Was he trying to prove that he could be better than Luke, the uncle who betrayed him?

What was his life like, after leaving Luke? I’m fairly positive we can all agree that Snoke wasn’t ‘kind’ or ‘nurturing’ to Kylo; were failures punished with torture, or humiliation? That would explain the outbursts of rage whenever something doesn’t go according to plan. Was he raised to believe that only Snoke could teach him the true secrets of the Force?

After all, we see that Kylo is incredibly powerful in the Force; he’s able to stop blaster bolts in midair, rather than deflect them. He’s able to pull the information he wants directly from someone’s mind. He’s able to hold his own against Rey in Rise of Skywalker, keeping her from pulling the ship back down.

So why was he content to be on an equal footing with Hux for two movies? Why did he never rise up against Snoke, to take over as Supreme Leader? Why did he allow Snoke to humiliate him in front of Hux? Why would someone as powerful as Kylo Ren allow Snoke to belittle him, calling him a child, in front of Hux, his rival? Why wouldn’t he have argued the point, or at least try to defend his actions?

Let’s switch over to Poe. We’re told that Poe is the ‘greatest pilot in the Resistance’ -that is all we have to work with for 2 and 2/3rds of these movies; no other background is given. Eventually we find out that he was a spice runner (the drug du jour in Star Wars), and he ‘betrayed’ his old crew -however, we don’t know how he ended up as a smuggler, or what that ‘betrayal’ actually was.

For example: in the books, we find out that Han -who didn’t have a last name at the time -was simply a child that a group of smugglers picked up somewhere, and raised by Dewlanna -a female Wookie who took care of him, and protected him until her death in his teenage years. This drives him to leave the smuggling crew, and eventually join the Empire (yeah, Han wanted to be a Tie fighter pilot). However, when he sees a storm trooper beating Chewbacca, he kills the storm trooper to save him, telling Chewie later that he owed a life debt to Dewlanna, and since he’d never been able to repay that debt, he’d saved Chewie.

What if we were given something similar with Poe? Perhaps he and Zorii were orphans together on Kijimi; they grew up together, and always had each other’s backs. Eventually, through their street smarts, they and their friends turn themselves into a gang, eventually earning enough money to buy their own ship, and begin smuggling spice. However, perhaps during one of their smuggling runs, they accidentally kill an innocent bystander; perhaps Poe sees one of their crew OD and turn into a mindless vegetable after a bad hit of spice. Perhaps he sees the First Order kill a settlement of villagers while they’re off world. Any number of these things could drive Poe to forsake his old life, and flee to the Resistance. He leaves everything behind, including Zorii, the woman he loves, to try and clear his conscience. 

Any of these would’ve given us a reason to understand Poe better; as it stands, all we know is that he used to run drugs, and now he’s just a super good pilot who defected to the Resistance for some reason, and ended up as a Commander. How did he learn to fly an X-wing? How did he become such a great pilot? How did he become a Commander? 

We see, frequently and repeatedly, that Poe is afraid of nothing; that he’s able to resist interrogation without giving up information, forcing Kylo to eventually use the Force to pull the information from him. We see that’s he brave, and he is -at heart -a good man; the death of the villagers in the opening scene of The Force Awakens shows that he was unwilling to leave this village of innocent people to their fate; that despite being hopelessly outnumbered, outmanned, and outclassed, he stays to try and help them.

Yet we have no idea why he does these things; we have no background information on him, so we’re unable to truly appreciate these actions. Is he just a guy who won’t ever run from a fight? Does he have a personal beef with the First Order? Did he believe that he would be able to buy time for someone to come and save him?

We don’t know, so his actions mean nothing to us. Hell, for all the background we have on this character, he could’ve been a blind idiot, who couldn’t see how many storm troopers there were until it was too late, and his actions were simply him screwing up, and not heroic at all.

And then there’s Finn. Finn, who was the first Storm trooper given a face. The disappointment with his character was immense. How did he end up so happy go lucky, so bumbling, given his supposed brainwashing into something that had one purpose: to kill.

We’re given the impression that the storm trooper Poe kills -the one who leaves the blood on Finn’s helmet -was his friend; how did they become friends? What impact did this other storm trooper have on him? How was he even able to form an emotional connection with someone, if he was raised as a child soldier, and brainwashed to hate and kill?

What, exactly, did this ‘training’ consist of? Was it propaganda, like the Nazi Youth? Was it torturous and cruel, punishing them for any act of kindness, or empathy? A mix of the two?

And how was Finn able to overcome this upbringing? How as he able to remain such an empathetic, protective adult, with a sense of humor on top of it? Could any stormtrooper defect as easily? Was it something from his home world, some small memory of a ‘life before’ that he was able to hold on to? Did something happen during his training to jolt him out of his ‘programming’? 

With this character alone, the possibilities were endless; this was completely uncharted territory. We could have been given any background on this, and it would’ve been brilliant. However, we were given nothing more than it happened.

If we were given answers to even ONE of the numerous questions I’ve asked, even just one per character, it would’ve given us reason to root for these people. Reason to love them, reason to hate them, or a reason to sympathize with them. 

Look at the characters from the OT -we know that Luke was only searching for adventure, to begin with. To save the damsel in distress, the chance to be a hero -something that a bored farm boy from the middle of nowhere couldn’t pass up, particularly when we’re told his friends were off fighting.

Leia was raised by her adoptive father into the Rebellion- Bail Organa was one of the founders of the Rebellion, and one of its most prominent leaders. After the destruction of her home world, we see that it becomes a personal vendetta for her, to make the Empire pay for the deaths of her friends, her family, and her planet.

Han was a smuggler: he was just there to get paid, and accidentally got stuck fighting. He insists he’s only in it for the money, a cold-blooded businessman, until he starts to fall for Leia. Until he realizes that Luke needs him, and will die without his aid.

In the OT, we’re given characters with background, characters with depth. Characters whose actions we understand, because we’re given details about them as characters.

And before someone says, ‘time constraints’... I would like to point out that these three movies combined were seven hours, and fifteen minutes long. Seven hours and change, for zero character development. Hell, we spend 152 minutes (TLJ) watching a slow speed space chase, that -as it turns out -was redundant anyways. 2/3rds of The Last Jedi ended up being completely pointless, as we find out, and Finn and Rose’s quest was pointless. Finn’s mutiny was pointless.

Most of the suggestions I made above could’ve been given with a line or two of dialogue.

Here are a few quick lines that would answer many of these questions. Mind you, I’ve taken minimal time to come up with these; most of them are off the top of my head as I sit here.

Kylo:

“No one has ever understood me; I’ve been alone my entire life.”

“Luke was my hero; my idol. I looked up to him, I wanted to be him, and he betrayed me. Tried to kill me in sleep. He didn’t even have the courage to look me in the eye.”

“My parents didn’t know how to deal with my strength in the Force, so they shipped me off to Luke as soon as they could; they didn’t even try to understand me.”

Snoke: “Careful, Kylo; you know the price of your arrogance. Or do I need to remind you again? Do not think yourself above being taught a lesson about your station.”

Poe:

“Yes, I ran spice, okay? Is that what you wanna hear? I was young, I was stupid, and I was just trying to survive. You wanna criticize me for that, go ahead. But I had nothing, and nobody aside from Zurii, and we did what we had to do.”

While being tortured by the First Order: “You guys think this is torture? My friends used to hit me harder just to wake me up!”

When Holdo tells him to just ‘have hope’: “Look, lady, I grew up in Kijimi; ‘hope’ wasn’t gonna feed us, ‘hope’ wasn’t gonna give us somewhere to sleep with a roof over our heads. Doing nothing gets you killed faster than doing the wrong thing.”

While in the desert of Passaana: “There’s always First Order patrols in outer rim worlds like this; when I was a kid on Kijimi, they’d beat you down just for walking in front of them.” or “There were festivals like this when I was a kid on Kijimi; I used to watch ‘em and wonder what it would be like to actually celebrate it. Don’t suppose we have time now.”

Finn:

“Look, something about me was always off, okay? I don’t know why, but I always just... knew that what we were learning was wrong.”

“I don’t remember much about my parents, but I remember my mom used to tell me stories. About Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, and their adventures.”

“There was one man, who trained us. He was... nice, in his own way. He used to try and help us when he could, comfort us after we’d been punished. They made me kill him.”

“I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid being the killer they wanted me to be; now you’re asking me to become a killer for your side.”

These lines would’ve taken a minute; one minute, perhaps two at most. 12 lines that would’ve given us details about these characters. Even at two minutes, that’s 24 minutes across a series of movies that was 429 minutes long.

Instead, we were given mere hints of the characters these people could’ve been. The smallest glimpses of stories and backgrounds that would’ve made these characters amazing.

That aggravates me worse than the terrible story-telling; there was potential here, and they just squandered it.

[singleandlonely]

Beauty Guru! Adrien

Haha I was reading a fic and the thought of Adrien getting PR packages spiraled to this, enjoy:

Adrien was 13 when the package came. He just started modeling for Gabriel and already became a sensation

And with great fame comes great responsibility

Aka PR packages

At first he was shocked but excited

I mean cmon free stuff that was personally addressed to you with the hopes that you will like it and talk about it?

It was a collection of makeup from an indie brand based in Paris who were hoping he would give them a shout-out

Now because I decreed it so Emilie isn’t gone yet

She is the one who brought the package- giggling like a schoolgirl because she is

The fun parent ™️

He and his mother end up playing and experimenting with the makeup all night, having a blast.

They get a couple of goofy videos and pictures of them with it and post it to twitter thanking the brand for the package and they enjoyed it a lot

One of the videos was Emilie talking about the quality and how it was really good while Adrien is putting on the makeup with the cutest “cinnaroll is concentrating, tongue stick out mood activated”™️

Video goes viral, the indie brand goes viral, then more and more packages come in

Slowly Adrien grows as a makeup gradually learning more

He watches a lot of videos on hair, skin, makeup, lifestyle, and health to grow his skills

The next summer was spent at various camps learning makeup and hair

Gabriel thought this would lead to more interest in the brand and let him follow around and intern with the beauty crew

He is actually a lot more into modeling because of it, and is more interested in his health too.

Adrien asked his dietician if a few changes could be made and the next thing he knew foods to benefit his skin and hair were added in his diet

He eventually asks his parents if he could have a YouTube channel and a beauty room and his parents converted a spare room to fit his needs.

He ended up being the most subscribed YouTuber within a day and a single post- 2 million subs from his first video titled “wowie I got a YouTube + Going into more in-depth reviews on twitter covered brands”

It has Emilie and Gabriel in it. It’s the first and last video she’s in.

A week after that he disappears off of YouTube. Gabriel announced Emilies disappearance

The agrestes disappear from the media altogether until 2 months later where Adrien goes back to modeling and Gabriel announces he hates everyone and is a recluse he will be launching a new line

Adrien posts to YouTube again at a semi regular basis, reviewing and talking about things he learned and wants to learn to be a better beauty guru.

A year later and Adrien is widely remarked as the most “not troublesome, sweet, and cinnaroll of the beauty community”

Drama channels don’t touch him. He is well liked and rarely spoken of in a matter that is shady.

If it is shady. Good luck because the beauty community is ruthless and you can go from somebody to nobody in an instant

He’s 15 when he gets to DuPont and already well known for his YouTube and modeling he is shocked when a girl doesn’t know who he is

Being treated like an equal- no something lower than that- made him feel human for the first time in a while.

He falls for Mari and falls hard. And after the umbrella scene she fell too.

So instead of some wacky love square you have two cinnarolls who are pining idiots for eachother and two superhero best bros

Adrien slowly brings his friends on his channel and when he brings Marinette for the first time let me just say the internet broke

Twitter crashed, YouTube froze, and tumblr was about to commit ship-icide (tbh it’s always like that but even closer than usual)

Everyone could see the attraction between these two love struck fools and when I say this was the talk of everything the next week I mean it.

(Fun fact: it became one of the most liked non-music video videos in YT)

They showed up together in a couple more videos obviously getting closer and closer.

They started dating but decided not to say anything because they wanted to explore the relationship on their own before letting outsiders see.

Ofc the vilest of villians showed up: Lila Rossi

She schemes and lies her way into making it on Adriens second channel- a vlog channel where he films his friends and social life along with some health stuff.

She clings onto her throughout the video and he is noticeably uncomfortable.

People are P i s s e d

The video gains traction as more and more people rip this girl open- first for her sexual harassment, then for her lies (which disgust many many people due to their nature) and third-

Third of all she disrespected Marinette and the Adrienette ship!

The line has been crossed

Anyways fast forward: lila is in a correctional facility for sociopaths, in Italy

her mom is shocked but is comforted by the fact that Adrien publicly claimed her side (lilas mom does not deserve that backlash)

Him saying that she didn’t know and that it was normal- siting examples of well known sociopaths that were found out to be sociopath years later (ted Bundy comes to my mind

Moral of the story?

Adrien is literally the internet’s sweetheart: cross at your own risk

Sorry that I got lazy near the end. This is just the rundown on the AU. I might expand on it more later because I think it’s a great idea, and also extras:

His third YT is a YouTube dedicated to anime and other PR packages/product reviews that aren’t beauty related.

He has a Instagram account that is just stupid memes for people that need cheering up. The name would totally be “catdrienmemegreste”

He is all about giving back and often has giveaways, he also sponsors MrBeast a lot so he can help the homeless and needy.

He doesn’t have much need for the ad revenue from YouTube so it all goes to charities, akuma therapy, and orphanages.

He totally loves buzzfeed for all the “adrienette moments/is real here’s why” articles before they were dating. And during.

Ladybug and chat noir reveal was both of them blinking rapidly before LB says “so that’s why his eyeliner is better than mine”