#one of them apparently has been known to come in & jerk off IN one of our beds. yet hes still not banned

[lobotomy-lady]

real footage of me at work desperately looking up caller ID names in the boundaries tracker whenever the phone rings to make sure I'm not about to unknowingly talk to a male who is jerking off the entire time again

[thelibrarian1895]

Gotham Rich People

So there are other millionaires and billionaires in Gotham besides Bruce Wayne.

I'll wait for you to get over the shock.

You good? Ok

There are other stupidly rich people in Gotham. A thought that if you've really made it in stupidly rich society in the dc verse then you have to have some property in Gotham where you stay for like a month or so every year like it's the regency society season. It's a sign that you're so ridiculously rich that it doesn't matter if someone steals your priceless painting or holds you for ransom because you can afford it and still be ridiculously rich. You are rich enough that your bodyguards are so skilled that they can keep you safe in Gotham. Because people are stupid and people who are rich and want to be snobs about it and show off tend to be a little more so than not.

Ridiculously rich seasonal Gothamites will also absolutely think that being kidnapped and held for ransom by one crime family or another or a rogue shows a different level of quality and status. Because they are just that bored and just that rich. And it lets them deal with the ✨trauma✨ ala gallows humor.

Lex Luthor has a bunch of snobby rich people look down their noses at him because he doesn't have Gotham property (Bruce keeps outbidding him when he tries and then Tim does the same when Bruce is busy because neither want Luthor in their city though sometimes people just won't sell if they find out it's Luthor trying to buy the property because they don't want him in the city either) and while he's rich enough to make mechs to go after Superman he can't afford quality Gotham caliber bodyguards.

Oliver Queen might have had a tiny by rich people standards apartment in Gotham, he inherited it. It may have been destroyed during the quake. He doesn't bother to rebuild or buy a new one and just stays in fancy hotel if he has to be in Gotham for any length of time and grumbles that Bruce won't let him crash at his place.

Tim gets Drake Manor back, if he didn't have it already, and puts it in his and Kon's name so Kon can be smug at Luthor because Kon has property in Gotham. Tim might come up with another secret identity as Connor Luthor's Gotham bodyguard just for fun. Superman may be Luthor's villain nemesis, Tim is determined to make himself Luthor's social and business nemesis because Tim apparently doesn't have enough people who want his head on a pike. Also fewer people give Tim well meaning lectures against villainy when Tim makes trouble for Luthor than when he's made trouble for Clark after Clark has said or done something dumb to Kon. Plus having a business nemesis makes being primary shareholder in Wayne Enterprises less mind numbing for Tim.

These other stupidly rich people also end up getting fleeced for millions by the Waynes for the Wayne charities because if they're going to have all these extra idiots to keep an eye on then these extra idiots are going to pay for things like the road work that the city isn't paying for because the city budget was embezzled by some jerk who ran off with the money to some other hole in the ground.

If Jason is bored enough he will be one of those rogues who kidnaps one of the Gotham elite visiting for their maintain the status month and the ransom money goes directly to literacy and educational programs. This way his preferred causes are funded and he doesn't have to be stuck in a suit at a horribly boring gala where he has to be polite. He is also considered the top tier platinum star in rogues to be kidnapped by since he is professional, has kidnapped Waynes before (Damian convinced him to do it so Damian could get out of a series of civilian parties and go hang out with Jon instead and a few times Cass has gotten Jason to "kidnap" her so she doesn't have to deal with a gala either) and is known for returning people when the ransom is paid. He has, on occasion, returned people after the ransom demands were made and denied and it is later discovered that he took the ransom anyway and the person who denied to pay the ransom finds themselves in serious physical and legal trouble. Seasonal Gotham rich people will absolutely brag about having been kidnapped by the Red Hood who clearly has good taste in hostages.

[radioiaci]

@truearchangel ⧐ It’s a bit weird, he knows, to show up at someone’s front door at one thirty in the morning. Even Hell runs off of the same clock as Heaven and Earth. Morning was morning, night was night, and this was��the unnatural hour. It didn’t stop him though, especially when he knew that Alastor didn’t really sleep. If he was asleep then maybe… maybe the shadow could just open the door and let him in? That is if the other wasn’t even annoyed at Michael showing up in the first place. He doesn’t know why he feels nervous, he knows it’s not really his place to overthink this. It was Alastor’s room, if he didn’t want him there he could just send him away. And yet–he was nervous, very much so. Alastor might have talked about friendship in his poem to Michael, but it still felt like their relationship was mostly a business transaction. One that Alastor benefited from far more than him. Which was fine, it was intentional. He wanted to help Alastor, not get something out of this. It didn’t matter to him if he actually used their deal, agreements, promises or not. He just wanted to help, that was the entire reason it started. However, he can’t call what they have friendship yet either, which made this difficult to settle in his head. What were they? What was allowed and what wasn’t? Was knocking on his door at nearly two in the morning bad? He doesn’t have an answer to that, or anything else in all honesty. He was lost, floating confused in this space that he doesn’t understand, wanting and yet uncertain if he can have. He doesn’t like the feeling of craving someone and being afraid of that at the same time. But he’s comfortable around Alastor. A sinner, a cannibal. There was something to read in that, an understanding he doesn’t have that he should consider. About himself and whatever this thing with Alastor was. The fact that, despite being widely uncomfortable in Hell, petrified out of his skin to interact with his twin, lost and torn between two places–Alastor of all sinners makes him comfortable? He doesn’t want to examine that anymore than he already has. He stood outside the Radio Demon’s door for so long he apparently became aware that Michael was there, if he hadn’t known from the moment he arrived in the very hallway his room was on. The sound of the door suddenly opening startles his very soul from his body though, the slight jerking of Michael’s shoulder as he snaps his head up to blink at the other. He swallowed as he took in the sight of Alastor and pulled a smile onto his face, trying to act more together than he actually was. An excuse tries to drag onto his tongue, something that sounds less pathetic than the reason he was standing here, but it doesn’t actually come. The words die in his throat along with the false bravado that he had managed to force up. His shoulders slump a bit, the smile wanes and he lets out a heavy breath. “I’m tired.” UNPROMPTED ASKS.

It is not so strange when one takes into account Alastor's odd hours of operation. He has only been back in his room for about an hour - having shut off the broadcast earlier in favor of an uninterrupted block of music - when he detects a presence near to his door. He is monitoring a few of his small puppet minions as they run about in the bayou, jumping in and out of puddles to entertain his shadow who is flitting back and forth among the trees and having a grand time with the little creatures. He does not often supervise such playdates, but it can be good for the things - it keeps them sated rather than restless.

But when he does feel the restlessness, it is coming from the scent he can gather that waits eerily on the other side of the door. It is with some alertness and concern that he turns his head from his spot in the grass to follow that scent out of the bayou and back onto wood flooring, stepping carefully - almost tempted to not open the door and try and discern what, exactly, awaits him on the other end.

Michael's scent and general personhood is very hard to mistake, however, and though it is rather late for him to be arriving for something or other, it is not the first time they have had late night rendezvous. For once, Alastor had not been in need of him. He has had enough sleep - is content with remaining awake for a few more days to just relax, engage in things of his own hobby and volition, and assist the princess where she will have him. Curiosity begs him to open the door anyway where he fixes his gaze down on the sheepish angel.

Expecting some sort of question, lecture, or a request for a favor, he is met with neither as the other seems to lose all wind from his proverbial sails.

Alastor says nothing, taking a brief step out of the doorway to peer down one end of the hall and then the other, ears swiveling as though he is looking for witnesses and finding none.

Once he is satisfied, he turns and nudges Michael inside, closing the door behind him and hovering, the absent sound of the splashing and rustling of the minions still playing in the bayou acting as background noise.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

Michael doesn't often voice when he is in need of something. Alastor has... concerns, but he is not always so blatant about them.

The way that his gaze maintains its hold on the archangel is hopefully enough to convey that he is invested in whatever has brought Michael to him this late at night.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA FOR MURDERING MY BEST FRIENDS FAMILY?

alright so yeah ik its bad. Its cause it is.

I (M, 48) have been carrying on a decades long relationship in my workplace with (F, 52). I love her lots and ive repeatedly done "ridiculous" things to show off in front of her. My buddy M(55) was slightly aware of this relationship, but turned a blind eye.

His brothers who hate me for reasons i honestly don't understand, haven't turned a blind eye. The two meanest ones (M38 and M18) caught me and her while we were doing the deed and accused us of adultery (she's married to my boss, who also happens to be their uncle)

So we hole up in the room and I end up escaping, but she doesn't. All of my coworkers are now obligated to murder my affair partner. So I go in to save them. My buddy apparently decided to stay out of it cause he knew it was trouble.

So the day of her execution I ride in and save her, but I'm so focused on saving her I don't realize that I've basically killed my buds entire family. ((M, 23) (M, 34) (M, 38)) plus a few of his sons (I have no clue how old they are) a few of his cousins, a bunch of his friends, and a few people he wanted to kill himself. So now he's really mad at me. And I understand why. I myself am really sad about killing his younger brother (M, 23) because he was like a brother to me as well. The other two are known for being jerks, and one of them (M, 34) literally killed their mom so i feel like he had it coming.

Anyways now my buddy is trying really hard to kill me and I just want to make amends but he's not up for it. He's prolonging this whole situation the rest of us are all ready to end this thing

So AITA?

Update: his surviving brother (M, 18) has staged a coup against my boss. How bad would it be if I killed that brother as well? He is technically only my buddy's half brother anyways.

[inbarfink]

Second part of my AT Roleswap AUs, after the Bonnieverse, it’s the Marcyverse! Finn-Marceline IK-Peebles roleswap!

Details under the cut:

Marcy Abadeer: The young half-human daughter of the Lord of the Nightosphere. Marceline "Marcy" Abadeer ended up stranded in Ooo. The idea of being a “hero” started as a goof, something she thought would annoy off her dad if he heard about it. But she ended up having to commit to it after the nerdy wizard she rescued turned out to be the King of the Ice Kingdom - who told basically everyone that there’s a new hero in town and is also generally like really nice to her. And eventually she became genuinely invented in helping people. Generally a very laid back person with a bit of a jerk streak she grows out of, prefers to use axes in battle. Coming back to the Nightosphere starts as her first priority, but it keeps shifting up and down as a priority depending on her current emotional state - eventually, when faced with the choice to leave Ooo forever, she decides to stay.

Hambo the Doll: Marcy’s favorite childhood toy, granted freaky magic powers (which basically match with Marceline's powers in the mainverse) and sapience by the dark magics of the Nightosphere to give Marcy a protector and companion. Her only real friend before coming to Ooo. A bit of a nervous stick-in-the-mud to serve as a foil to Marcy’s chill, rebellious streak. And seeing how he is literally a mess of demonic energy dressed in the body of an adorable doll, he can be kinda Evil at times. But he is a good, loyal friend to Marceline.

King Simon of the Ice Kingdom: Immortal founder and ruler of the Ice Kingdom, a winter wonderland of sapient penguins and friendly ice monsters. King Simon is an intelligent, fatherly man with a talent with both magic and science. Despite his long life and many experiences, he has not lost his optimistic and idealized view of the world. However, he is not handling the grief of losing his wife, Queen Betty, very well at all. Nor does he have much success in the dating scene. Sometimes those antics are just goofy and embarrassing in a middle-aged-single-dad sort of way. Sometimes the combination of bad luck, social awkwardness and the fact that most potential romantic interests in Simon’s age group are terrifying ancient monsters means his bad dates can snowball into actual threats to himself or even the whole Ice Kingdom - necessitating a rescue from Marcy or some other hero.

Bubblegum Princess: A semi-solid mass of sapient gum-blob who rules over a vast sugary wasteland known as the Candy Kingdom. Once a pre-War human scientist, Bonnibel Rosazucker was infected by a mysterious gum-blob creature and was slowly transformed into a candy monster. Now she is a sugary mad scientist interested mostly creating various freaky candy monsters, Bubblegum Princess has been also known to kidnap wizards in order to dissect them in her mad experiments (for SCIENCE and also out of a powerful obsessive hatred for Wizards in general) with King Simon being an especially favorite target (he secretly thinks she's kinda attractive in a weird way, although he'd never admit to that sober.)

Finn the Cyborg Lord: The once-human son of Dr. Minerva Martens, an old colleague of Bonnibel Rosazucker. Finn was put in her care after his mother’s apparent death - only surviving the post-Mushroom War landscape thanks to Bonnibel's cybernetic modifications. After parting ways with her, he tried to make a name for himself as a hero of the wasteland - but as the years went by, he became more and more jaded with heroism. He became known as a great warrior - but not necessarily the most principled one. In the Ice Kingdom, he is mostly known as the bothersome prankster King Simon is always demanding will get off his lawn. Marcy being around and doing good kinda gave him a new, more optimistic lease on life and he’s been getting back to adventuring and actual heroics. After all the various cybernetic mods Bonnibel and his overprotective A.I mom and various others gave him so he could survive a 1000 years in Ooo, basically the only human organic part oh him is (most of) his brain

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Another part of the 1920 au, this time featuring Celia Facilier and Judge Frollo being a creep (and paying for it.) Also known as: How did the Facilier sisters get a cult? Part one, part two to come soon. I hope.

(...Proceed with caution?)

There are steps behind Celia Facilier. Darkness all around, and the steps that have been following her for the last three blocks. Never faster than her, never slower than her.

Her heart races in her chest.

She can still hear the deliberate footsteps and the deep breathing.

She herself takes a shuddering breath and finds the dagger she carries around, as her father and sister insisted. 

She should run.

Everything in her is telling her to run and never look back.

Her fingers trail over the package she was supposed to deliver and she decides to go on. Everything will be okay, and she will leave with a sizable packet of money for her family. See?

She picks up her pace.

The steps behind her speed up too.

She breaks into a run, her dagger already out, the goods in her other hand.

„You can’t run from me, babydoll;“ a raspy voice behind her breathes out and a new wave of chill runs down Celia’s spine, „Noone can run from God. Come with me peacefully, my child. Don’t resist your fate.“

As if. 

Celia’s fate for tonight was supposed to be a payment and then a date with Dizzy. Not… This.

„Get her.“

Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He has help. There is more of them. 

Fuck.

She vaguely registers more heavy footsteps falling into the pace behind her, and then?

Then just a dull pain at the back of her head.

She comes back later – too late – to a pair of too bright grey eyes staring at her unblinkingly and some decidedly very creepy murmurs. 

She doesn’t have her hands tied – amateurs.

The girl with too bright eyes quietly offers her some water, which Celia refuses, pinching her lips together.

What if it is poisoned?

Instead, she tries to calm her heart and her thoughts and make some sense of her surroundings.

Ignore the creepy muttering that is starting to sound suspiciously like a prayer.

Ignore the girl watching you like she has never seen another girl before.

…Definitely ignore the writings and paintings on the wall, please.

The sound ceases, and a familiar voice asks: „Is she awake yet?“

The girl jerks, which causes Celia to jerk as well, and she watches with a sense of a morbid curiosity as the girl scurries away and presses her back against the wall.

„Yes, father, she is,“ the girl confirms, looking down at the floor and letting her hair fall over her eyes.

The man, the creepy stalker in wavering grey robes, slowly crouches down in front of Celia. He has the same too bright eyes as the girl.

Celia glares at him with all the hatred she can muster, which is apparently not enough to repel him. That bloody bastard puts his cold, long fingers at her chin, raising her head higher, and Celia shivers.

„You have such pretty eyes, doll,“ the man mutters, trailing his fingertips along her skin, his leering stare-, „Shame you’re–––“

Instead of the words, blood flows from his mouth. Coughing, wheezing, droplets landing on her skin, still thousand times better than his fingers.

(The girl by the wall doesn’t move, doesn’t run, doesn‘t scream.)

(Celia has plunged a knife into his heart.)

(Heart or lungs or somewhere close enough, deep enough.)

Celia doesn’t move either as she watches the- the man choke at his own blood. He might be saying something, but she isn’t listening. If he tries to plead mercy, grasping at her shirt––

Well, it isn’t her fault, is it now?

He kidnaps young girls – he should’t be surprised if the young girls stab back.

(It’s not her fault.)

She shoves the still writhing corpse off her body and stands over it, mechanically wiping her hands down, as if it was doing any good.

„Mercy,“ she is almost certain she hears.

„Mercy,“ the corpse pleads again, blood bubbling from its purple-pale lips. Celia stares at the liquid with distant revulsion.

(„Mercy…“)

(By the wall, the girl falls down to her knees.)

Celia painfully swallows, staring down the still breathing corpse. It takes her a few times to speak up properly, the words stuck in her throat, hurting her as they come out.

(She doesn‘t want to give him mercy, or anything.)

She asks anyway: „What is your idea of mercy?“

„Salvation,“ he breathes out.

„Your death for mine,“ his eyes say.

„Your eternal suffering,“ she can almost read on his lips, and she refuses to read anymore.

„Well,“ she says, cold and distant, „My idea of mercy is your quick death.“

With that, she stabs him again, this time aiming properly for the heart.

(And again and again and again.)

(She can’t see the corpse anymore or feel her own fingers, she can’t hear anything but her own blood rushing through her ears–– except for when she can, of course.)

She can hear the girl slowly coming closer, dropping something heavy as she goes. (She can hear her crying if she really tries.)

Likewise, Celia drops her knife.

„I better go get Uma,“ she says, and then she is gone.

[madam-melon-meow]

The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative. A homestuck fanfic. Chapter 15, an excerpt:

Suddenly, Jade felt a great force slam into her from the side, a pair of hands wrapping around her shoulders, turning her to face the figure in a shock of warmth.

Two boys stood in front of her, two boys she immediately recognized. The one who’d grabbed her broke out into a toothy grin. His bright blue eyes gleamed at Jade like the heart of a flame. She felt that power inside her leap at his touch. The same way it had with Bec. He didn’t seem to notice- or if he did, he didn’t understand it.

The other fidgeted slightly, his smile just as wide, his eyes hidden by shades but his joy apparent. Jade felt her own face responding in kind. Her friends were here!

"John? Dave?" She gasped, reaching for them. Both boys embraced her, the three friends laughing as they hugged. She felt Bec nosing into the embrace as well, his eager barks, wagging tail, and joyful licking of anyone he could reach a reflection of her own happiness.

"Holy shit, Jade, you’re here! I can’t believe it!" John spoke first, his eyes bright and warm as he stared at her, as if worried she’d disappear when he blinked.

"I can’t believe you’re here, either!" Jade responded in kind. "I thought I’d only find Dave here, and probably Rose- wait, where’s Rose?" She looked around, expecting Rose to appear behind her. Dave cleared his throat as she did so, and she looked back at him.

"You have no idea how ironic all this is, goddamn. It’s like the Christmas story with the watch chain and the hair comb. Shit’s full of dramatic irony, of dastardly revelations after the fact. Makes me want to ask Chekoff to put his stupid gun away before someone gets shot." He was nervously rambling, tension evident even as he embraced her. "Which is to say, damn girl, you knew we were here? We’ve been looking for you for three years, and Rose has been looking the hardest-" his voice broke off, his tone suddenly bleak. John shifted uncomfortably at Dave’s words. "So hard, in fact, that she can’t come over and hug you. You’ll have to go to her." He jerked his chin like a cool guy, nodding in the direction he wanted her to look.

Jade did so, turning towards the door she’d burst through, to the line of chairs beside it. Sitting in a chair, staring in open-mouthed shock, was Rose. Jade grabbed her friend’s hands, tugging the boys across the room with her, eagerly approaching where Rose sat. As she drew closer, Jade understood what Dave meant. A handcuff trailed from Rose’s wrist to the arm of the chair, keeping her from rising. This would not do!

Jade let go of the boys' hands as she reached the chair, reaching out for the cuffed wrist.

" Separa Discerpo! " She hastily spoke the words to magically pick the lock as her fingers grazed it. The words to this one, fittingly, she'd decided on after some of Rose's derisive effusions regarding wizards. Jade ignored her surprise as the handcuff fell apart , the bracelet disassembling and each link of the chain disconnecting in a clatter of metal. Instead, she grabbed Rose, lifting her as she had her mother, freeing the girl from the chair and the gently hissing heat of the cuff’s remains. As she lifted Rose up, the chair itself fell apart too, as though the maker had forgotten to use anything to bind the pieces together.

"ROSE! I found you, I found you all! Jade laughed, twirling around and placing Rose down between John and Dave. Gleefully, she enveloped all three of her friends in her arms. Everyone was here, and Jade was going to savor it. Was going to savor human touch, savor love. Even as tears prickled her eyes, even as the sensation of three warm bodies was overwhelming, she clung tighter. Before the plane, she had never expected to leave her island. After the plane, she hadn’t known what to expect. Finding not just her teacher, but all of her closest friends? She was so very happy.

What happens next? Click to read on:

[birdmitosis]

🎥, 💕 !!^_^

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

Oh man, MULTIPLE. The one I keep coming back to at the moment is in the third movie, when Kururu is trying to hack the enemies' shit in the Final Hour to defeat them, Mutsumi drops into save him, they work together and finally beat that shit + also develop these robot-things they deploy everywhere to cancel out and undo the enemies robot-things that had been hypnotizing the whole planet. It's just a legitimately cool teamwork scene that they don't get enough of!

I also, I admit, love the bit in the flashback episode where they met that... It's not A Scene so it's kind of cheating, but when Mutsumi catches Kururu out, this obvious alien invader who'd been trying to attack him, Kururu tries to pass off being a good guy and Mutsumi asks why he's there, and Kururu says "to protect love, justice, and peace" and Mutsumi fuckin laughs at him and answers, "you're terrible at lying, alien." Then at the end of the episode, a while later after they've become friends, they're bantering and Kururu asks him what he's using the thing he stole from Kururu for and the exchange flips around: "for love, justice, and peace, of course" "you're terrible at lying, human." I just love that. So much.

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Honestly, I adore Dororo and Kururu both, they might be my top two faves, but I want to talk about my other fave here. Saburo Mutsumi, a fuckin. Totally normal-seeming, incredibly laid back teenage boy who is just... completely inexplicable the more you see of him.

He's somehow on the same wavelength as the universe's biggest known jerk, who is in return somehow utterly cool and friendly with him. He never goes to fuckin school. He's not just a radio DJ but a secret radio DJ who keeps his identity secret by using the alias 623 which he pronounces "Mutsumi." He goes along with invasion shit just for kicks, because he finds it fun. He can show up out of nowhere, even to the ninjas. He flies around on the top of a flying saucer-looking thing in one of the movies, which is just so extra and unnecessary. He seems to have a hard time getting attached to people besides the universe's biggest jerk, but is still willing to fuckin die to save Earth. He's a poet. He's a fuckin nerd. He plays multiple characters in shogi and can't win a game. He visits alternate universes in his spare time just to peek in on alternate versions of himself (including: invader of Earth, space pirate, trans girl??). When he decides he wants to stop working at the radio station he quits, claims to be an alien returning home to Venus, gets Kururu to help him fly away in front of an audience, then just keeps broadcasting from a private flying radio station probably also made by Kururu. Apparently he's an orphan who was raised on another planet by aliens since age nine (manga canon, but seems like it was also intended to be anime canon). In the manga he has an IQ of 350, which is like twice as high as IQ scores actually go. His introduction in the anime is a spoof on Kaworu Nagisa complete with O Fortuna playing because he's voiced by Ishida Akira.

There is nothing about this character that is normal and yet it's so hard to remember that sometimes because he's in the role of "Natsumi's senpai she has a crush on who shows up and gets involved weirdly rarely," but then sometimes the show'll go "reminder that this is Kururu's best friend actually" or "oh yeah, this guy's fucking wild, remember?"

[paragonrobits]

Movie Review - Holy Musical B@man!

I am a simple person, with simple tastes (albeit ones that periodically have me wistfully imagining people incredulously asking me if my brain is broken or if my entire life to date has been an incredibly elaborate bit I am doing), and my tastes in movies are fairly straightforward. Oh, yes there are certainly layers to it; on the proper occasion, perhaps one day my reviews will give me room to ramble on about my undying fixation on ‘robots and nonhumans as personhood’ plot elements, or extensive use of practical effects, and my love of bathos (or, as I always assumed it to be, the dramatic changing of register for comic effect, but apparently that’s a different thing), and it is this last point that I keep thinking about with Holy Musical; namely, ITS REALLY GOSHDARN FUNNY.

I’m not a very emotionally demonstrative person. It’s not that I am consciously detached or try to limit my expressions, but I am NATURALLY not a very emotive person; it’s just not natural or easy for me to express myself with the same extremes as other people do. Sometimes this is a problem; around my family I find myself having to constantly overact because they get upset and take it personally when my normal reactions are subdued. When I find something funny, I usually only have a small response; a small laugh, a little giggle, something like that. And when something gets a big belly-busting ‘oh god someone send help I can’t stop’ laugh, that’s either me making a TRULY HORRIBLE pun so awful I can’t even say it before busting up laughing, or I really was having the time of my life enjoying something.

This movie is the latter; whatever else it has going on, it got me a TON of laughs, over and over, and for that, I really have to appreciate it. Whatever else it has going on, it is genuinely and consistently funny.

On a broad strokes basis, this movie strikes me as being something of a reconstructive parody; specifically of the darker and edgier Batman, with both the first two Nolan Batman movies and Frank Millar’s well known (infamous, in my book, as I REALLY don’t much care for it) The Dark Knight Returns. Early stage Batman of this musical is definitely a comedic depiction of Batman at his most, to quote Overly Sarcastic Production’s take on the matter, ‘Punisher in a silly hat’. I normally DON’T like this take on Batman at all; I can’t stand people who go online and sincerely say that Batman is a billionaire that beats up poor people or reduce a nearly 100 year old running character to some pithy remarks so they can feel like a smart aleck for a few minutes. Yet somehow, this play makes it work for me; it’s probably because its just SO over the top and coming from a place of love that I really don’t mind, say, Batman depicted as an overzealous hunter of criminals that’s willing to pop out PLANE-MOUNTED GUNS on a guy who technically stole from his own till by forgetting to put in some money before he left.

Following a brief falling out with Alfred (who is essentially all of Batman’s friends in disguise, including Lucius Fox, a joke that had me wincing in discomfort the moment it popped up and feeling profoundly relieved when it just moved on, only to be repeated a few more times; frankly, I feel that if this has come out a few years earlier, we would be seeing outright stereotype racism jokes; the corners of the Internet this would have been popular around at the time went nuts for that and I hate that), Batman ultimately turns a new leaf when he meets Dick Grayson, in this portrayal played off more as a brotherly character rather than the more familiar depiction of them as a father and son duo. There is a LOT of Burt Ward’s performance as Robin from the Adam West Batman series, and this brings me to the fundamental point.

I feel that this musical is all about Batman starting out as a dark and edgy jerk-face with an overly zealous approach to crime and playing all the worst borderline fascistic interpretations of the character to comic excess, to gradually mellowing out as he befriends Robin and becoming a much more genuine and humane character, and with the campy tone, by the end of his character arc he resembles nothing less than Adam West’s famous depiction of Batman, played straight and with love, and I HAVE to appreciate that; it's sort of a love letter to camp and not being ashamed of its roots, as a lot of the ‘comics can be SUPER SERIOUS and we don’t have to be gross and campy’ attitude tends to go.

Batman’s villains are similarly extremely campy and they’re an absolute BLAST; virtually every line from them is packed to the brim with thematic puns and in particular I really like this musical’s take on Penguin; less a mob boss guy, and more of a heavily bird-themed crime villain who can’t go more than a few words without working in bird puns, and I LOVE IT. Everyone is like this, from Poison Ivy to Catwoman (And this alone is probably an indicator of this musical’s lean towards the likes of the West Batman show, as Catwoman hasn’t been considered a rogue in QUITE a while and her portrayal here is a dead ringer for that era). Of note, Joker off-handedly dies off screen early on. I say GOOD RIDDANCE. His role is instead filled by Sweet Tooth, an absolutely delightful villain chock full of furiously quick candy puns, genuine menace and a ton of fun pretty much every moment he’s on screen.

He’s very clearly a Joker stand-in, but without the kind of baggage that Joker himself usually brings on board. Its with him that we have a scene taken directly from the iconic ‘choose who dies’ bit from The Dark Knight, but instead voting on whether Robin lives or dies; I was struck at them in the death of Jason Todd, which never fails to impact me. (Perhaps not as much as harshly as Jason Todd outright referencing it in Injustice 2, but this is pretty close.) He adds in a Harley Quinn analogue, who carries both the blatant abusive dynamic and being a legitimate threat in her own right despite her silly demeanor. Interestingly enough, despite my assumptions that he was an original creation of this project, he actually IS a pre existing character, but a very minor one; he apparently has only had a couple of appearances prior to this and was considered forgettable even by the standards of one off gimmick villains. I consider this the equivalent of someone bringing back the Penny Plunderer as a genuine villain without losing a bit of campiness.

I mentioned before that I feel this musical covers elements of the Nolan movies and Millar’s work. From the latter, we have other superheroes periodically making appearances throughout, and here’s where we get SUPERMAN. Now, I’m honestly pretty defensive about works, especially parodies, getting Superman right in any capacity; I get REALLY touchy about it, and honestly, I think this movie does better to give Superman an antagonistic role than The Dark Knight Returns did, even with a similar scene (albeit with Obama rather than Reagan); instead of being a government stooge, this take on Superman is deeply insecure and resentful of Batman’s popularity despite his own vastly greater power and success, which also feels like something of a meta commentary on Batman often being perceived as a better character than Superman. (PErsonally I feel a guy in his 30s who has mastery of ALL the skills and martial arts disciplines, despite individual ones taking a LIFETIME to learn, is even more inherently absurd than a superpowered alien that happens to look exactly like a human, but that’s a whole different rant.) We see a bunch of other heroes throughout, most especially Green Lantern who has a running gag of being late for a Thing with Solomon Grundy (I don’t know if Grundy was picked for specifically starting out as a Golden Age Green Lantern villain, but I’d like to think so), and is portrayed as a shlubby Brooklynite, which is honestly a take that feels… right. Not sure why, but it does!

Ultimately, it comes down to Batman outright just asking Superman for help, because he’s the only one that can do things on that scale; essentially having him drop his ego and pride to sincerely ask for help, which feels like a really nice way to directly address the rivalry that is applied to them in a lot of comedic works and come to terms between them, and Superman doing the famous Reeves Time Warp spin (which was alluded to earlier in the movie) to undo catastrophe.

This in particular cemented a feeling that the movie is essentially about Batman developing from a parody of his darkest and most edgy characterizations set off by people imitating the vibes of the Dark Knight Returns and the Nolan movies, through a storyline that incorporates aspects of both into its plot, and at the end, through his friendship with Robin (a character notably absent from the Nolan movies save for Rise, and honestly I don’t feel that counts), and embracing the most fun and campy aspects through Robin, THE old school campy character, developing into something akin to Adam West’s Batman.

That said, Batman himself is a bit of a hard sell here. He’s a fun character, no question, especially as the movie progresses. But while he IS fun, he generally does work better as a straight man and it’s hard to say he handles that super well, at least to me. I do think Batman being just as quirky and weird as his cast is appropriate, but he’s mostly interesting not on his own but how people react to him. A lot of his best bits here are when he’s part of a larger scene, or people are reacting to him; his manchild mannerisms and demented behavior get a lot funnier then. They’re never bad, but they’re not really GREAT per se.

But all the same, it IS a genuinely fun experience that had me busting out laughing like a self-satisfied hyena, and you know what, I love it just for that alone. A great watch, all around!

Some other things of note:

- I really liked how no one seems to know what a robin is. “What is that, some kind of lizard?” And Robin’s parents being assassinated by one is honestly so bizarre but I can see that being a thing in the DC universe.

- Pour one out for poor old Killer Croc, who died as he lived; poisoning the water supply in the tradition of camp villains of old!

- People just… knowing that Superman is Clark Kent is honestly kind of a gas. Yes, there ARE reasons why he maintains his secret identity, but it's fun for the people involved to play it as a non-issue.

- Not a gag but Plastic Man looks fantastic in his brief appearance.

- Also not a gag but I read Garth Ennis’ Batman Reptilian not too long ago, and I’m struck by how both these works seem to poke at the idea of a much more brutal and callous Batman. Not much of a similarity, true, but it is striking how they go in opposite directions; this one opts for escape into the blessed realms of camp, while the other… well, it’s a Garth Ennis work, its exactly what you’d expect from the person who made the Punisher (and a completely non-ironic take) a signature character. If you HAVE to have Batman being the sort of person who takes glee in plane weaponry, I’d rather it be played for comedy.

- There’s a LOT of similarities between this and the much later Lego Batman. Apparently the people who made this even commented on that!

- Okay, okay, Robin determining his hero identity in a parallel of Batman’s is hysterical. SEARCH YOUR HEART. IT IS TRUE.

[boowhumps]

|WHUMPRIL 2023|

|Day 21 ~ Scars|

(@whumpril)

⚠TW⚠

- Mentions of Past Torture

- Mentions of Broken Bones

- Swearing

----------------

I scroll endlessly on my phone, my head resting in Kaiden's lap as he does some work on his laptop.

We spend time together in a blissful silence. The quiet is sometimes interrupted by one of us shifting, the clicking of keys, or a slightly loud breath.

But it's calm, so who cares right?

After a bit more silence, I see Kaiden's eyebrows raise as he stares at his laptop screen.

"Hey Karyme," Kaiden says. "Is it true that most people who've undergone a revival have wings?"

I shrug. "Yeah, I guess so. I think it depends on how many times though."

"That helps, thanks hun." He hums, and goes back to typing.

I can't help but smile at him, because sometimes he's so damn clueless.

It takes a minute before the gears in Kaiden's head turn, and he glances down at me.

"Wait.. Do you.?" He begins to question, and I laugh.

"Obviously, I've been revived like.. 6 times."

"Well I didn't know that!"

"Now you know, idiot." I tease.

He rolls his eyes at me. "Alright you fucker, now.. How long have you known?" Kaiden asks.

I think for a second. "Uh.. I guess while I was still in the hospital I remembered."

"Really?"

"Maybe.. I don't know.. you know my memory leaves me faster than my parents did." I laugh.

Kaiden does not laugh.

I stare at him. "Laugh with me, you're making this awkward."

"Haha." Kaiden says sarcastically.

I stick my tongue out at him. "Fucker."

He ruffles my hair. "Say.. Do you know how to show your wings?"

"I don't know..but i'm sure I can figure it out."

----------------

"I can't figure it out. Fuck this shit." I groan as I throw the book aside.

Kaiden and I managed to find an old book that apparently helped summon your wings, but it wasn't working.

Kaiden scrolls on his phone some more. "God.. Is there any tutorial on how to do this?"

I glance at Kaiden. "Well.. Guess this is where we bury the hatchet and give up."

Kaiden gets up off the floor. "I guess so, now, I'm gonna order takeout, what do you want?" He asks me.

I hum. "Uh.. Oh! We should get Chinese." I answer.

Kaiden nods and goes off to call and order the food, while I remain seated.

I look around and pick up the book again.

'Useless book..' I think as I set it down again.

I close my eyes and sigh. Why is this so hard.? It wasn't ever this hard in Celestial..

I open my eyes and glance out the window where I see a butterfly.

'Huh.. Weird.' I think.

Suddenly I feel a familiar ache in my back.

I immediately know what's going on. I take off my jacket and lean forward a bit.

In a second, my body jerks back and I feel my wings come out.

I gasp in surprise but I quickly regain my composure as I turn my head to see my wings.

They, for one, are still as big (and maybe even bigger) as they once were. The black wing reflects the rays of sunlight coming through the window..

And the white one.. has definitely seen better days.

Two huge scars run across my white wing, leaving a cruel mark of what I went through.

The torture.

The pain.

The blood.

The screaming.

The agony.

Those memories come flooding back, almost drowning me.

I shake my head, no, no time for bad thoughts, I gotta tell Kaiden.

"Hey Kaiden!" I shout.

"What?" He responds.

"I.. Uh- figured it out!" I say.

There's silence, and then footsteps.

Kaiden enters the room, eyes widening at the sight (and also length) of my wings.

"Careful." I warn. "They're.. really long, and the last thing I want is for you to step on them..

Kaiden nods and sits next to me. “This is.."

"Weird?" I ask.

"No! It's just uh.. different.?" He says.

I stare at him. "That's just a fancy way of saying weird."

"God.. That's not what I meant.." Kaiden sighs.

I smile at him. "You're fine.. It is weird isn't it?"

I await an answer but that's when I see Kaiden staring at the scars on my white wing.

I tense up a bit. "You good?" I ask.

He looks up at me. "How'd those scars get there?"

I looks away. "I don't know.."

I hear a sigh. "Scars don't just appear."

"I know that. I.. just don't know how they got there." I say.

Kaiden doesn't seem convinced however, and he pushes the question. "You.. didn't do that to yourself-"

My eyes widen. "What? No, why would I?"

Kaiden hums. "Karyme.."

I glare at him. "What are you implying?"

"Don't take it the wrong way! It's just.. you have a history.." He quickly elaborates.

I groan. "Maybe I do, but why would I do it to my wing?"

"Look, I didn't mean to offend you, really. But I can't help but worry sometimes." Kaiden explains.

I sigh. "I know.. but I didn't do anything.."

He places a hand on my shoulder. "Alright, I believe you."

I smile a bit. "Thanks.."

We sit there for a minute, until the realization hits me.

"Uh.. Kaiden?"

"Yeah?"

"How.. do I make them disappear.?"

We both stare at each other.

"Fuck."

[iammistressofmyfate]

54 pynch?

Ohhh, thanks Anon! I hope you like thisssss 😘 I've never written anything like this one!

54. Cum Kink

[Kink Prompts]

Ronan had not done much digging into what it meant to like things, sexually speaking. He liked men and that was about as far as he'd gotten at first.

Then he'd figured out that he liked hands, Adam's hands in particular. The long, elegant digits punctuated by knobby knuckles, the prominent veins, the boyish elegance of them.

Ronan loved putting Adam's hands to his mouth, sucking on his fingers, which was just as hot as sucking on Adam's cock.

Which was a whole other thing. Apparently Ronan liked having any part of Adam in his mouth. His dick and fingers specifically.

Exploring things with Adam had been one of the most enlightening experiences of Ronan's life. He hadn't even known where to start and the fact that Adam was down for anything meant the world was totally open to them.

Which was how Ronan had ended up on his knees, a willing supplicant before a benevolent god. Adam looked so beautiful; face flushed, lips parted, eyelashes quivering. Soft moans and pants issued from his lips as Ronan sucked his cock.

Ronan loved Adam's dick. The weight and warmth of him on his tongue, the salty-sweet taste, just the feel of him there. Ronan loved it.

Adam's hand rested on Ronan's skull, head lulled back, before he pushed at Ronan.

"Stop, Ronan," he breathed and Ronan did, pulling off of Adam slowly, looking up at him.

Adam's pupils were huge in his eyes, his lips red.

Ronan knew what Adam was thinking and he made a soft noise, hand on his own cock.

"Stay just like that," Adam murmured and Ronan moaned, knowing what was coming, eager for it. Adam has his hand around his cock, jerking himself off. Ronan closed his eyes, opening his mouth.

It only took a few strokes before he was coming all over Ronan's face, some landing on his tongue. He came, too, shuddering, having to brace himself on the floor.

"Fuck, Ronan," Adam murmured. "You're filthy."

Adam said it in a way that was awed and fond and Ronan looked up at him, worshipful and adoring. Adam kissed the top of his head.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

[skylarmoon71]

Sebastein (Grimm)- Chapter 6

When you woke the next morning, it was to a pair of lips on your skin. You smiled, stretching slightly as Sebastien grinned. 

"What time is it?" 

His eyes drifted to the clock.

"Just after noon." 

He responded. He went back to placing kisses along your thighs. You flushed. Through your little adventure yesterday, you'd come to learn a lot more about Sebastein. For one the guy was a freak. The both of you went at it three times. In three different positions. All along you thought he was some prude, but you were mistaken. This side of him surprised you. At one point you were even on top, yet, he still managed to be in control. Even though that was the case, he was gentle. Careful to avoid adding any pressure to your wound.

"Not that I'm complaining about waking up like this, but we really should get a move on. " 

Sebastien hummed into your skin. You jerked when he gave a teasing kiss to your center. His arms kept your hips still, ensuring that you didn't move away.

"Shit.." 

You sighed, eyes glazing over. You were still very much naked.

"We'll leave soon enough. For now I need to take care of you. I have months of care to catch up on."

His statement made chills run up your spine. When you made that comment a few months ago you were just messing with him. Apparently he took it seriously. His face disappeared between your legs and you moaned as soon as his tongue made contact. 

"Sebasti- Ah!"

Your heels dug into the mattress the more he went down on you. Your eyes were clenched shut, enjoying every minute.

You could already tell it was going to be a good day.

~

"Where was it? North Carolina. Yeah we're on it. When this is over you better give me a triple bonus. " You were once again chatting with Meisner on the phone. Your focus strayed when Sebatien dropped his bag on the bed, set to take off. He watched you, approaching slowly. You let out a breath at the way his eyes roved over your body. His eyes stayed trained on you as you spoke with Meisner. You shuffled a little on your feet.

"W-What? Y-Yeah no worries. Alright, see you there." you ended the call, finally breaking eye contact.

"Well Meisner's got a new mission for us." 

You turned your back to him, shoving your burner phone into your bag. Sebastien took another step, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He left a kiss at the back of your ear and you leaned in, closing your eyes.

"Okay..be straight with me. Did they give you some weird wesen drug. Cause you've been a little more forward than usual." 

You didn't hate his touches, you just hoped it was because he actually wanted to and not because he was dosed with some weird chemical when he was taken hostage.

"I assure you I'm one hundred percent myself. "

Well, that was good.

"Then why are you suddenly so.." 

Your words trailed at the end when his hands came up, groping your breasts. You responded, gasping softly.

"Your near death experience has given me a better insight on life. I refuse to waste more time pretending that I have no feelings for you."

"Oh." 

That wasn't what you expected. Of course you hoped he actually cared about you and not just using you for sex. But the fact that he cared brought you relief and fear. You'd never been good at getting close to people. And for good reason. Your life was surrounded by war and death. It's all you'd ever known. It wasn't the best situation to begin a relationship.

Sebastien hands left you, spinning you around and pressing you lightly into the wall. This side of him was more than a little arousing. 

"I believe we have a few more hours until Meisner expects our arrival." 

He kept you bound to the wall, kissing you desperately. You had no idea how he was still so energetic. Not that you really cared. His arms moved to your legs, hoisting you off the ground. You wrapped them around his waist, pushing his jacket off his shoulders. Looks like your trip was going to be delayed.

~~~

A knock at the door made you stand. You placed your finger to your lips, gesturing for Sebastien to hide behind the wall. He did, and you picked up your gun, tip toeing to the door. You peeked through the hole, lowering your weapon when you recognized the two people on the other side of the door. You twisted the lock, opening the door and grinning. Trubel and Meisner entered, wearing smiles of their own. Trubel rushed over hugging you.

"Thank god you're still alive. When Meisner told me what happened I thought you were a goner." You shook your head, pulling away and moving to Meisner to greet him. Sebastien moved from the wall.

When Meisner saw he gave a laugh. 

"Good to see you're still in one piece. " Sebastien nodded.

"I have you to thank for that. " 

Sebastien's gaze lingered on you. You smiled and he mirrored the expression. Trubel looked between the both of you.

"Am I missing something?"

You cleared your throat. 

"Nope." 

You said popping the p. Meisner wore a knowing look, but didn't push for further details. He pulled his bag off his shoulder, dropping it on the bed, pulling out an envelope. 

"Good news, I got you new aliases. Since they caught the last ones. We were able to trace exactly what Black Claw stole. The other agents who were compromised have been accounted for. Like you they got away just in time. For now these should be secured. " 

He took out two passports and some other legal documents. You read through it, handing Sebastien his passport. You laughed when you saw something. 

"Why'd you make me Mrs. Walker? Do I have a husband somewhere that I'm not aware of?" 

It was a joke of course, until Meisner chuckled.

"I believe you know him very well." he nudged his head in Sebastien's direction. You were confused, until he showed you a marriage certificate. 

"W-What the hell Meisner! Couldn't you have just given us regular identities."

"That is regular. Black Claw isn't looking for a married couple. Besides, you might enjoy your honeymoon." You glared.

"Oh, I almost forgot."  

He pulled out a small jewelry box. When he opened it there were two golden wedding bands. He closed it, handing it to Sebastien." 

The fact that Sebastien didn't seem deterred by it all made you a bit upset.

Trubel smacked your shoulder playfully. 

"Hey, at least you got a husband. I'm left with Gijoe here." Her comment didn't help your mood.

"Whatever." you muttered, stuffing the papers in your bag. ~

Meisner and Trubel didn't stay for long. After giving you a rough update on all that was going on, they were back on the move. Probably dealing with another threat. You sat at the desk in the small hotel room, staring at the jewelry box. You don't know why you were so irritated. It didn't mean anything. If you'd been giving this with anyone else you were certain it wouldn't have bothered you. Which was crazy because it wasn't like you didn't care about Sebastien. It was just a cover anyway.

"Are you alright? You've been fairly quiet." Sebastien had been watching you for a while.

"Yeah, just tired I guess."

That was a lie.

"If this makes you uncomfortable, we can always say we're divorced. " you turned to him, a smile slowly rising on your lips.

"Thanks for that. Honestly, it's not a big deal. I just, I don't know why it irritated me."

"I think I do." He stood, pulling out a chair right next to you.

"Commitment scares you. I think it's because of this lifestyle. Nothing in your life has ever been permanent. And you feel safe that way. You've grown used to change. So the smallest possibility of something solid terrifies you."

You just stared at him. 

"When did you become a psychiatrist?"

"You also love deflecting. I have a feeling this was the reason you were always so forward with me. You never anticipated we'd be in this for so long. You felt safe that way. Keeping me at arms length. I suppose we're both very good at pretending."

You didn't meet his gaze. Of course he was right. You're biggest fear was that one day you wouldn't be able to protect Sebastien. You weren't sure how you would cope if something ever happened to him. It would crush you. Sebastien leaned in, kissing you softly. You closed your eyes, holding him to you as you returned the kiss. When he parted he licked his lips.

"There's no need to protect yourself." 

You wish just those words could comfort you. But your fear wouldn't be quelled until Black Claw was defeated. Until then..

"I'll just have to protect him with all I've got." 

You decided right there and then that anyone who even tried to lay a hand on Sebastien would never see the light of day.

Sebastien leaned in for another kiss, this time pulling your body into his lap. Your legs fell at the sides of his waist, hands moving to his hair. His hands slid up your back, pulling you impossibly close. You were rocking your hips slightly, Sebastien stood, taking you with him. At first you thought he was heading for the bed, but when your butt came in contact with the mahogany table, your eyes fluttered open. Sebastian stopped for a second to regain his breath. You watched as he slid the items off the desk, sliding between your legs.

"Y-You really are something else." You mumbled, closing your eyes to revel in his very welcomed touches.

"Thank you Mon Cheri.."he started pressing kisses to your neck as he climbed onto the table.

Thoroughly distracted by his kisses, you hadn't noticed he was unbuttoning your shirt until you opened your eyes.

"Wait..are you really going to.."

He smirked. "I've never done it on a table before. I think It'll be an enjoyable experience for the both of us." You gasped when his hand slipped into your pants without warning.

"Damn..."

Sebastien really was a man of many talents.

[pinkpagesdirectory]

ReBoot is safe...but Barbie might not be

As any Barbie fan knows, the direct-to-video films have generally been animated by Mainframe Entertainment (later rebranded Rainmaker and more recently as Mainframe Studios), the Canadian computer-animation firm best known for ReBoot, the first all-CGI television series, Beast Wars and other projects.

It's ReBoot that built the studio, and recently the entire D1 tape library containing all the original copies of the show and related materials has been located...but there isn't a working D1 videotape machine anywhere in Canada, so they're looking for one.

While this is all well and good, the news of this also came with something many people were unaware of -- namely, these tapes survived a HUGE purge of production material in 2012 during the Rainmaker era. Why had all this stuff been thrown away or, in some cases, erased? Because then-Rainmaker president Catherine Disher had apparently been running the studio into the ground; when some of her employees reached out to former Mainframe people for help, she went *ballistic* and ordered a purge of Mainframe-era stuff, apparently out of nothing but spite and petty-minded vindictiveness (she wound up leaving the company not long after).

This means that more than likely countless things relating to the original run of Barbie movies until 2012 (excepting The Barbie Diaries, which was not produced by Mainframe) was tossed into dumpsters or erased from computers, all on the orders of an incompetent, spiteful bully.

To say this fills me with rage is an understatement. Tons of work that people spent years creating, and all the related things -- toys, sketches, awards -- ordered destroyed at the hands of someone who would probably be a decent Barbie film villain.

We currently don't have any idea as to where the primary tape copies of the Barbie films themselves might be stored, but we can hope that we can keep them intact before another hateful jerk comes along and decides to trash them or write them off for tax purposes. This is why media preservation is so damn important. And if you know someone who had a working D1 videotape machine, please contact the account of the first Tweet linked.

[daddycephalopod]

Stars Fading Chapter 4

After The Storm

Summary: They return from Umbara, and nobody is okay.

TW/CW: Cody has a PTSD episode in his sleep.

Translations: te'habirÖbe gar buy'ce = take off your helmet

Chat names: Sunny is Kyra, CafGoblin is Kavra, and GeneralSunshine is Aurora.

Tags: @starstofillmydream

The news traveled fast on what had happened after they returned from Umbara. Rex found Aurora and went radio silent for the entire leave. Kix had walked off the ship and straight to Emilie to pull her into a close embrace. Kyra had been tied up at work, her knee feeling much better now and no need for a cane. She had a month and a half of things to catch up on and had seen the message much later about them returning.

Kyra immediately set out to find Cody, trying to call his comm but getting no reply. She searched all the usual places she might find him, finally realizing where he might actually be. She went back to her apartment and walked in, finding him there by the light of the lamp and nothing else. He was sitting on the couch, helmet still on. Head in his hands.

“Cody…” She said, “te'habirÖbe gar buy'ce.”

He did, slowly, before looking at her. Cody tried to keep it in, stiff upper lip, but Kyra could see right through it by now. She could see the weight of everything that just happened sitting heavily on this man and didn’t hesitate to wrap him in a hug. He rested his head against her stomach, holding onto her. They didn’t speak for several minutes as Cody slowly melted into the hug.

“Thank you, mesh’la.” He said softly.

Kyra smiled a bit at the term of endearment, “anytime.”

She pulled away then.

“We should get this stuff off you…” she said.

Cody didn’t protest that, pulling his plastoid armor off and stacking it neatly beside the couch. Kyra had him sit with his back facing her and had started to rub the back of his neck, which turned into his shoulders and somewhere in it he had his head on her lap. He was snoring soon, Kyra having run her fingers through his hair idly while watching the news. He had jerked awake suddenly at one point, eyes wide and breathing erratic.

Kyra gently guided him back down to her lap, Cody looking up at her with pure panic in his eyes. She knew exactly what was happening and silently cursed. Cody stared up into her eyes, noticing the flecks of gold against dark brown. Apart from the soft hum of the news, silence filled the room still as neither had really said anything since she walked into her apartment. She wasn’t going to make him talk about it if he didn’t want to but she wasn’t going to send him off on his own either.

She turned the news off to allow for complete silence before she gently rubbed his temples with her thumbs. Cody had grabbed her wrist at one point, making her stop as she looked at him curiously. That endearing head tilt. He pressed a gentle kiss to the palm of her hand and looked up at her. It was very affectionate and she could feel her face heat up about it.

“You’re safe here…” she said, “no matter what. Get some sleep, I’m not going anywhere.”

Kyra stayed awake all night watching over him and his fitful sleep, Cody now having moved up to rest his head on her stomach again as he wrapped his arms around her. Kyra had a datapad in one hand, messaging the group chat.

Sunny: he’s said maybe 4 words to me and he’s not sleeping well. He seemed to panic a little when I went to shut out the light. I don’t know what happened out there but this has to end eventually, right?

GeneralSunshine: I wish, Kyra. I wish so much I could snap my fingers and end this war. We all do.

CafGoblin: Anakin is not doing well either. Apparently he feels very guilty about leaving his men in the hands of someone he says he should have known was bad.

GeneralSunshine: I’m going to check on him in the morning, I already asked him to come meet me in the gardens. I should have been on this mission, I should have been there with them.

Sunny: you can’t blame yourself.

GeneralSunshine: I might have been able to do more. I haven’t said any of this to Rex. He’s a wreck himself.

Sunny: Everybody did the best they could with what they had. It was shit all around. They haven’t even figured the final tally of lost troopers to send off to Kamino. You know, it drives me nuts how they’re just numbers to everybody else.

GeneralSunshine: I promise you, not a single Jedi sees them that way.

Sunny: I know. It’s not the Jedi, it’s the government.

Silence fell in the chat after she sent that and so she decided to order some parts, do some paperwork. Suddenly, the datapad was knocked out of her hand and she moved fast to brace herself as he pinned her down and cocked his fist back.

“Cody!” She said, cupping his face.

He opened his eyes, wide and wild as his chest heaved. He quickly realized that Kyra was not a battle droid and that he was very much not on the battlefield but in her apartment. The apartment that became a safe place for him. Nobody was demanding anything of him here, there was no war or pain here, just Kyra. Kyra, who had vivid understanding etched into her features as she gently cupped his face.

Cody shot up off of the couch like a wounded animal, retreating from the pain he almost caused.

“Cody.” She said, sitting upright now.

He gathered his plastoid and started to put it on quietly. She stood then.

“I shouldn’t be here. I should go.”

He had gotten too comfortable, too vulnerable. He had almost hurt her in his nightmares.

“Stop.” She said, grabbing his hand now.

He flinched at that, almost as if he was afraid just gently touching her would hurt her.

“There’s nothing you can do to harm me.” She said

“I wish that were true, mesh’la.”

He pulled his hand out of hers and left the apartment, the door clicking silently as he shut it gently. Kyra sunk onto the couch and grabbed her datapad.

Sunny: Rex should go check on Cody.

That was all she sent to the group chat before going radio silent for days. Kyra decided to bury herself in her work instead, trying not to worry. Cody would come to her when he was ready, right? She knows he was grieving something big and dealing with the trauma.

She really missed him, it hit her one day when she was getting ready for work. One cup of caf was clasped between her hands and she found his old note about sorry if it’s cold. She smiled a bit and looked around the apartment. The table they’d have take out on, the couch they’d cuddle on, and when she realized even her pillows still smelled like his soap she began to question what the nature of their friendship was.

Kyra decided to instead head out, shaking the thoughts from her head as she flagged down a taxi. A meeting with the Senator, Padme Amidala. She wondered what it was she wanted from her, she was just the lead for the technician team that repaired the Venator and whatever else crashed into her repair sector.

Kavra was there, walking beside her after she entered the senate building. She had gotten a pass, signing in with security.

“All red these days.” Kyra said as she walked with Kavra.

“They run a tight ship.” She replied.

“Why are you trailing me?” Kyra asked as she scanned her visitor pass to get on the elevator.

“Nobody’s heard from you for almost two weeks. Can’t I worry about my friend? And you’re here, with your messy bun and your bag full of paperwork. We miss you, you know.” Kavra said as she got into the elevator with her.

Kyra sighed and since they were alone, she pushed the stop button.

“Cody almost punched me during a nightmare. I haven’t seen or heard from him since, so I am burying myself in my work. My leg is healed, it just aches a bit when it rains. I’m eating, showering, sleeping. I’m functional.” Kyra said

“But are you okay?”

The question threw her off her guard for a minute and her vision got a little misty but she shook it off and pushed the button to make the elevator go again.

“Kyra.” Kavra frowned when she didn’t get an answer.

“I didn’t realize how I felt about him until he wasn’t around anymore and now it’s probably too late. He won’t let me in, I can’t force him. I have to go talk to the Senator.”

She got off the elevator on the floor she needed, leaving Kavra to frown at her after she also got off the elevator. Fox was walking by and noted the melancholy pouring off of Kyra as Kavra looked concerned for her friend. He approached her then as they began to mutter about senate business, going back down the elevator. Kyra brushed a few stray tears away before being escorted in by droids.

Obi-wan, Anakin, Rex, and Cody were found in Padmé’s office as Kyra entered.

“Kyra! Please have a seat. Would you like something to drink?” She asked

Kyra sat down and shook her head, offering a polite smile before digging around in her bag.

“I’ll make this quick, ma’am. I heard you wanted to see some of my schematics?” She asked as she pulled out a datapad.

“Yes. I’m curious about the ships the GAR is using and would like to present a budget increase to the senate, if you wouldn’t mind helping. I think more funds towards your work could help drastically.” Padmé said, demeanor as warm as her smile.

Kyra stopped and looked up from the datapad, “you want to fund my work?”

“Of course. Commander Cody and Captain Rex were telling me all about the hard work you do and if they have confidence in you, I do too.”

Kyra couldn’t help but blush slightly at that.

“I don’t work alone. I have several techs under my care who contribute vastly to the success of what we do.” She said, going back to pulling up the schematics on her datapad.

She slid it across the desk and Padmé took a look. After a few beats of silence, she smiled again.

“I’ll make sure you can have enough to pay them handsomely for their work too. Any parts you need, anything. I already know Senator Chuchi and Senator Organa are backing this idea with me. May I have a copy of these to show the senate?” Padmé asked.

Kyra began to feel a little nervous about letting go of her work, the outline of what she did, and gently slid the datapad out of the senator’s grasp. She felt a shift and looked over at Anakin whose eyebrows furrowed. Very overprotective.

“I mean no offense, ma’am…but I am a little hesitant to release this information. It’s not you, you have been very accommodating and kind.”

Padmé nodded in understanding, “so speak with me. Come to the senate meeting and present it yourself. The information stays in your hands and I still get to try and petition for more funds.”

She was very casual about this idea.

“Oh.” Kyra said, “my public speaking skills are terrible.”

“I want to help you.” She tried to reassure.

Kyra chewed the inside of her cheek and then nodded.

“Can you send me the details for the senate meeting and I’ll see you there?” Kyra asked

“I’ll do you one better, I can send a transport to make sure you and your data travel safely.” Padmé smiled

“Senator, that’s kind of you but you don’t have to.”

“I insist.” She replied.

Kyra nodded and stood. They shook hands.

“Thank you, Senator.” Kyra said

“Please, call me Padmé. You and I will be working closely together for a while.” She said, handshake firm and warm.

“I’m afraid I must take leave too, sir.” Cody said as his comm went off.

“No problem. I’ll continue to discuss with Obi-wan and he can brief you later on the final details.” She said

Kyra and Cody left the office together, although very quiet as they got onto the elevator. The tension between them was thick, he could sense she was clamming up a bit as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was grasping her arms instead of tucking her hands, eyeing the ticker for the floors. Cody sighed and decided to give it a go.

“I’m sorry, for what happened. For leaving. I haven’t had time to come by with everything going on. There’s a war going on, I don’t know if you’ve heard about it.” He said, voice modulated by his helmet.

Kyra moved fast, stopping the elevator and turning to face him.

“That’s your apology?” She asked

He pulled his helmet off and tucked it under his arm, to look her in the eyes as he spoke to her.

“Kyra. I can’t begin to express how sorry I am that you not only had to see me that way but that I ran. You offered me a safe space in my vulnerability and I got so scared of hurting you that I ran. Then, I did get swept up in my work but I thought of you every single day. I wanted to call, but time didn’t allow. I’ve been sitting with Rex a lot. He’s buried in paperwork after….” Cody couldn’t say it, feeling his throat tighten a little around the word.

Umbara.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I am sorry and I want to make it up to you if you let me.”

She crossed her arms over his chest and stared at him, closed off and guarded. Emotional but cautious. A Mando down to her core. Cody moved to push the button behind her to start the elevator but she grabbed him by his plastoid and pulled him into a kiss that seemed to startle him for a minute.

She almost pulled away, not getting a response from him immediately. Cody wrapped his arms around her and didn’t let her get away, kissing her back deeply. She moved her hands, tangling them in his hair as he picked her up effortlessly. Her bag clamored to the floor, contents spilling as his helmet also hit the floor. Neither could be bothered right now. He held her between him and the wall now, her legs wrapped around him as he rested his forehead against hers.

Kyra opened her eyes to see his closed, a sense of calm she hadn’t seen in a while passing over his features.

“Dinner. I want to take you to dinner…if you have time. I know you’re a very busy and important man.” She said, his eyes opening to look right into hers now.

A warm affection she finally noticed, calling it what it was.

“I’ll take you to dinner.” He said, knowing they were probably going to argue over the check.

He kissed her again, Kyra gladly welcoming it when a voice came out overhead.

“Hey, not that I’m not happy for you guys because it’s about damn time, but you can’t be holding up senate elevators.” Fox said

Right, he would see everything here. Kavra was practically slapping his arm in excitement as a squeal left her when she initially saw the movement after the security camera beeped about the elevator being stopped.

“Sorry, Fox.” Cody said, setting Kyra down.

“Not a problem, just don’t do it again.”

Kyra pushed the button, smiling to herself. She felt warm, tingly, biting her bottom lip. Cody put his helmet back on and stood up straight, all proper commander again despite the fact his codpiece may or may not have tightened a little. He helped her gather her things back in her bag before she slung it over her shoulder again. She played with the strap, fidgety. Nervous.

“Dinner.” Kyra said as they walked out together.

“I’ll come pick you up around 6. Is that okay?” He asked

She nodded, still smiling. They went to part ways outside, Kyra flashing him that toothy smile he was coming to fall in love with before getting into a taxi.

[unlockthestars]

Empathetic Sentence Starters // Accepting

@badluckqrow asked: ❛ i'm here for you. no matter where or when i'll always be here for you. ❜ (Ruby @ Yang)

Yang sat off by herself, legs pressed to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She'd known that finding her mother was the fastest way to find Ruby…., but it had brought a lot of emotions with it.

She had spent so long trying to find any information out about her mother (what she was like, how much like her she really was, why she'd abandoned her) that the visit in the Branwen camp had been….a lot. Yang still wasn't sure how much of the way Raven had told her story she fully believed…., but she couldn't just ignore what she'd said.

And she had been happy to get back to Ruby, glad that she'd been able to rescue Weiss…., but a lot of those doubts she'd tried to bury have resurfaced, and she's not sure what to do with how she's feeling.

Which was why she'd gone to sit off by herself. Because if she's alone, then she can't bring anyone else down. She's usually the one cracking jokes, trying to lighten whatever mood, but it's hard to do that right now. That carefully crafted façade of the always sunny little dragon has slipped, and she needs a moment to pull it back into place.

Yang hears approaching footsteps, but she doesn't move, only looking up as her sister speaks.

"But you weren't," she points out, her voice soft. "I know you had other stuff you had to do, but you left. With nothing but a letter." Everyone had left her. And she knew that, if she hadn't been hurt, her dad would have left to go after Ruby. But instead, he'd had to stay home with the daughter that was broken, to make sure she didn't completely shatter.

She'd tried not to let it bother her…., but it was apparently coming to the surface now. Yang knew that Ruby had left for important reasons, had at least had better reason for leaving than Blake had, but it had brought up some of those old fears that the blonde had buried, tried to keep hidden behind jokes and smiles: that maybe she just wasn't good enough.

Yang swallowed hard, turning to look at her little sister. She blew out her breath and reached out to grab Ruby's hand. "That's not fair. I'm sorry," she murmured, giving her hand a squeeze. "I know I can always count on you, Rubes," Yang added, pulling Ruby into a tight hug. "Sometimes you just gotta remind me when I'm being a dumb jerk."

[thousand-winters]

Dragging this to main just because I have been enabled, don't worry about it asjkfhjkdsg

So of course there's the stuff about Disney trying to trademark the Día de Muertos name which is... so much. Trademarking the name of a cultural celebration that's very much alive and honored year by year. There's so many problems there I can't even begin without getting angry, so we're not gonna, just letting it speak for itself.

Now, my personal problem is always on the concept of "oh, no! You have no photo in any altar! You're gonna disappear!"

Like... this is a tradition that comes from prehispanic cultures. Way before cameras were invented. Are they for fucking real? Okay, let's try to be graceful about it. Maybe they're assuming people used drawn portraits or whatever... but what about babies that passed away so their faces wouldn't be remembered? What about those who wouldn't be able to either afford someone else making a portrayal of their loved ones or doing one themselves either because of lack of resources or skills or anything? Does that mean their loved ones are screwed? The whole concept of it has a classist tone to it I really do not like.

The entire idea of not being able to visit an altar because nobody in the world remembers you is also stupid because, and I know this is not common knowledge but they presumably would have done their research, while traditionally "Día de Muertos" would refer to one day, the celebration actually extends over an entire week.

Why? Oh, quite simply because we have:

October 27th: Dedicated to pets and animals that have passed away and you want to honor.

October 28th: For those who died in tragic ways or in accidents.

October 29th: In honor of those who died by drowning.

October 30th: FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOBODY LEFT TO REMEMBER THEM.

October 31st: For babies and kids who weren't baptised yet (that part got mixed with catholicism later on, of course)

November 1st: Traditionally called the day of the Holy Saints, because it's dedicated to children who passed away.

November 2nd: Dedicated technically to the rest of the people, aka, the adults who do not fit any of the other criteria, but it's also known as "the day of all the dead", so it's not an uncommon view that anybody can come that day. This one is the one everyone tends to consider "Día de muertos".

So we have a day specifically for those who have nobody left to remember. Funny. Disney probably ignored it because it didn't fit the narrative, in the same way the fact it's an entire week did not fit their narrative. Funny how you make a movie about a culture and then ignore the parts you don't like.

Now, this celebration did mix up with catholicism after the conquer, so some aspects of it definitely have that kind of religious undertones, but for the most part it has kept its essence wonderfully. And I bring this up because there's another big problem there.

So you presumably disappear if you don't have a picture in an altar to be invited back, according to Coco anyway, right? And then what happens? Apparently you disappear from the afterlife, which is... huh. Where does that come from? That's not a thing. I cannot remark enough how much that is NOT a thing.

Considering the whole story of the movie establishes that Héctor has never been able to visit the family's altar properly because he was considered a jerk and an embarrassment to the family, which leads to everything else, there's a certain aspect of... suffering being carried over to the afterlife. "You suck so you're gonna disappear because you don't deserve to be remembered". What are we, Catholic? (Yeah, okay, kinda, but not for this one thing).

There are no moral judgments included in the Día de Muertos celebrations. There just aren't. Maybe the souls you're celebrating were bad people in life, but it's not about that. It's about the cycle of life and death, it has NOTHING to do with morality and it pisses me off that Disney managed to screw that up so badly.

The one win I'll give them are that they got the aesthetics pretty faithfully. That's it.

We're approaching Día de Muertos time, who wants to hear me complaining about Coco /j