#one of the only good things the nina timeline did for me?

[a-shadowedvales]

jane does her best to avoid mirrors at any cost as she finds her reflection somewhat distorted in them. she sees who she is, knows it’s her, but her face always looks a tad askew; like her eyes are too far apart, or her lips are a little smaller than she thought they were. overtime, this becomes so prevalent that if she looks into one for too long, her perception and surroundings instead hold a similarity to the upside down. in the bathroom, the shower behind her drapes with tangled vines; the sink is running, but it releases the same black liquid that she was coughing up after closing the gate. her own body and face will transform into that twelve year old girl with a shaved head and a tattered hospital gown.

it gets to the point that she begins combing her hair elsewhere, and brushing her teeth with her eyes closed so she doesn’t need to look in the mirror, or using the kitchen sink. she does open up about these experiences with her therapist in 1986, and is given techniques to help distinguish between what is real and what isn’t. these mental tools do help, but sometimes, even if it’s just a flash, blink and you’ll miss it, the glass will show her what’s not really there. ultimately, it’s why there’s no mirror in her bedroom both in hopper’s cabin and the ives’ house. even when she’s nearing adulthood, becky stands in the bathroom with her when jane has no choice but to use it, and assures her niece that anything she may be seeing is not real.

[vidavalor]

The Vavoom: Or, when the show's hinting Crowley & Aziraphale first kissed

It was not in 2.06, if that makes you feel any better?

Meta/theory hybrid stuffity stuff below the cut. As always, all interpretations are valid. This isn't meant to offend anyone who sees things differently. Post contains spoilers for the films 'Kiss Me Deadly' (1955), 'About Time' (2013), 'Love Actually' (2003), and 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' (1994). Apologies that this took a few days. Life's been wild this week. Let's dive in...

Right. So. The Vavoom...

I feel like most of us, by this point, are probably in agreement that Crowley is not talking about something he saw in a Richard Curtis film when he talks about his plan to help The Shop Lesbians to fall in love... and that, if he's not talking about something he saw in a movie, then he's talking about something he experienced... and yes, sure, absolutely Crowley has been on Earth for 6,000 years and could have vavoomed with basically anyone who has ever lived at this point as well as one semi-sentient car and even the world's once only-remaining unicorn but... we all know he's talking about Aziraphale. So this is about unraveling what the show presents as Clues to this end and using those Clues to solve for x and see if we can prove that Crowley is talking about Aziraphale and then figure out when this Vavoom happened with the information the show has given us so far... and the good news is that we can do all of those things so here we go...

The first thing to do is to eliminate the Richard Curtis films. Let's just start with Crowley saying that he saw his whole vavoom moment in "a Richard Curtis film." As someone who has seen a frankly embarrassing number of Richard Curtis films, I can tell you that this is a very amusing misdirect from a writing standpoint. It is amusing because it's a wink of sorts towards the same problem that comes up when you try to find The Vavoom on the GO timeline based on what the show's presented so far. What is that problem? It's that-- at first, cursory glance-- no one GO scene or Curtis film seems to have everything Crowley describes. Don't worry, though, because we actually do have enough information to find the lone caraway seed beneath these three cowrie shells here. You'll be Aziraphale-voicing an "a-HA!" very soon. :)

There are only two Richard Curtis films that feature elements Crowley lists as having occurred during The Vavoom: 'About Time' and 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.' The Awning of a New Age scene in GO actually winds up an homage of sorts to 'About Time', as it is referencing it pretty heavily. However, there is no vavooming in 'About Time'; meaning, there is not this gaze-to-kiss moment that Crowley is talking about. A wedding reception tent collapses under heavy rain and soaks several supporting characters in the film, much like how our supporting characters Nina and Maggie get soaked by too much rain causing the awning to collapse. There is no gaze or almost-kiss or kiss before it. There are other canopies-- umbrellas-- but no one gazes or kisses under one. So, Crowley did not see The Vavoom in 'About Time'-- but that particular Richard Curtis film might have been the one in Crowley's mind when he quickly latched onto Richard Curtis films while speaking with Aziraphale in the pub.

As a result, thinking about his conversation with Aziraphale while trying to craft his Shop Lesbians Vavoom might have actually caused him to over-weather and cause the awning to drench Maggie & Nina. So the joke there is more that The Original Vavoom of which Crowley is speaking in the pub scene is something that really happened and had an element or two in common with a scene in the Richard Curtis film, 'About Time', which also features Bill Nighy (see: 'Love Actually' stuff below), whose mannerisms Crowley seems to like to emulate at times. As a result of seeing the film and thinking about how it *wasn't* like The Vavoom-- the canopy collapsing, the lack of an actual Vavoom in motion prior to this, all of that disappointing Crowley greatly when he saw this film lol-- Crowley ironically then says he got the whole idea of The Vavoom from a Richard Curtis film... when, in fact, *the distinct lack of Vavoom* in the film was what Crowley remembered from it... and then, upon thinking of the pub discussion when trying to start an Awning of a New Age for Maggie & Nina, it accidentally became part of his miracle, causing him to over-Weather and, kind of hilariously, substituted the kiss Crowley was trying to incite with the collapsing awning scene from 'About Time'... the film then disappointing him all over again lol.

The other Richard Curtis film that is relevant is 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.' You might be familiar with the scene-- its ending scene-- just from cultural osmosis as this point, even if you haven't seen the film. Hugh Grant proposes to Andie MacDowell in the pouring rain. So, the big problem with this scene is that there is no canopy. None. Whatsoever. They're soaked through. We never see them go inside. They look into each other's eyes and they kiss but it's raining on them the whole time and Crowley is really specific about his canopy requirements for Vavooming. This scene is also wrong because it's a proposal between characters who have known one another on and off for years and have a more extensive history, whereas Nina and Maggie are much earlier in a potential relationship and The Vavoom Crowley talks about is an intense gaze into a first kiss. That said... just as how 'About Time' ties to Nina & Maggie's story, there are some 'Four Weddings'-y elements to Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship, in that their story also covers them meeting up through different points in time and such. 'Four Weddings' was also the first mainstream, hit rom com to openly feature queer characters in supporting roles so it's a strong one for GO to be referencing... but, ultimately, no Crowley-described Vavoom scene in sight.

Finally, there's 'Love Actually', which doesn't actually have a single element in it that pertains to The Vavoom but I'm throwing it in here because I'm just looking at all GO ties to Richard Curtis films at this point. 'Love Actually' features Nina Sosanya (GO's Nina, of course) as a queer-coded character and, in GO, David Tennant has a few scenes where he seems to be channeling Bill Nighy's Billy Mack from 'Love Actually' in S1. (Tell me Crowley's not doing Billy Mack's walk when they cross the street to the bookshop in Eleven Years Ago in S1 lol.) For those of you who have somehow avoided seeing this movie lol, Billy Mack is an aging rock star who is the best character in the film and heavily queer-coded. In S2, there's also some Big Bill Nighy Energy in the "we'll just to have to make it worthwhile then" bit with Muriel in Heaven and also in the way he chuckles in the "I *was* there, you see" moment with Gabriel. Also probably worth mentioning that, in 'About Time', Bill Nighy plays the dad of one half of the main couple in the movie and his role is to teach him how to live life and this involves pursuing the woman he is trying to marry throughout his ability to fall through time. So, Bill Nighy is basically playing the S2 Crowley of 'About Time' while the main couple of that film parallels Maggie & Nina, in that he's setting up the scenario for the couple involved to get together. Nothing in the film, though, is as overt or contains elements that match The Vavoom, other than the collapsed awning, as we got into above.

So mah point is dolphins that while there are a couple of Richard Curtis films that contain bits and pieces of what Crowley is talking about, there isn't a single one that has anything really remotely close to the, uh, extremely specific scenario he was detailing... so now we have to look at just what the hell Crowley's on about, exactly... and for this, we are, surprisingly, going to wind up looking at a very different film from any by Richard Curtis-- 1955's classic film noir, 'Kiss Me Deadly'. Why this random film, you say? Because it's actually not at all random to GO S2. It's the origins of the phrase "vavoom"... and S2 of GO contains a multi-episode homage to the film.

'Kiss Me Deadly' is, tonally, very different from GO as it's pretty dark film noir but it has a plot you might find a little familiar. One night, driving down a dark road, the main character picks up a hitchhiker who has lost her memory. After she's murdered, the film revolves around the main character-- a private investigator-- and his lover/partner investigating the case to try to solve the mystery. GO's episode "The Hitchhiker" opens with a plot and visual homage to this film when Aziraphale picks up Shax in The Bentley and obviously S2 contains a plot surrounding a mystery related to a character who has lost their memory in Gabriel. I'm going to do a separate thing that is a deeper dive into this with particular emphasis on how the lead characters relate to Crowley and Aziraphale at another point in time because it crosses into too many other things to fit it into this one at the moment but the reason why I bring the film up now is because of its ties to the phrase "vavoom."

"Vavoom", alternatively spoken as "va va voom" and containing the same meaning, is thought to have originated in a cartoon in the late 1940s but its use in "Kiss Me Deadly" in 1955 is what pushed it into popular, cultural use and knowledge. In the film, there's a character named Nick, who is friends with the two leads (the Crowley & Aziraphale-paralleling Hammer and Velda). They have nicknamed him "Va Va Voom" because he says it so often. Nick is an auto mechanic who works on the leads' car-- yes, there's a Bentley parallel lol-- and it is his use of the phrase that made it one we are familiar with today. But what does it really mean exactly in terms of this scene in the pub?

Without going too far down the road that we wind up in another meta about wordplay and symbolism in S2 here, the show is doing things related around the word 'passion' and all of its various meanings. It begins with Aziraphale referring to Maggie's feelings for Nina as "a pash"-- which is British English slang for "a crush" or "an infatuation". It comes from the word "passion"... but the word "passion" actually means something much different. "Passion" is very specifically romantic, erotic love when used to describe a relationship. It means enthusiasm when about a hobby or the like-- Aziraphale will get the neighbors to come to the meeting/ball by negotiating their commitment based on things they're passionate about-- Mr. Arnold and Doctor Who, Mutt and the history of magic. Finally, S2 is tying a lot of this passion-related plot to *The* Passion-- as in, The Passion of the Christ, or the Christian phrase for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Why is it called 'The Passion' anyway? Because the Latin root of 'passion' is 'pati', which actually means 'to suffer.' Looking at all of this and how the show pairs up scenes with different types of passion is a whole other meta. I'm bringing it up here because of the relationship between 'passion' and 'vavoom'...

"Vavoom" means voluptuously sexy. It means passionate. Something having a sense of "vavoom" or "vavavoom" means it is either suggestive of or is sensually pleasing. In GO S2, Maggie & Nina represent the pash use of passion-- the new love, the crush-- while Crowley & Aziraphale are the show's example of passion in its fuller, richer meaning of romantic, erotic love. So now that we eliminated the idea that Crowley is talking about having seen an example of this vavoom he's talking about in a movie-- I mean, 'Kiss Me Deadly' is totally a movie Crowley saw once so he might have first heard the phrase in it, like many people did but there's no vavoom itself the way Crowley describes it in the film, just the phrase-- but yeah, now that we've eliminated the idea that Crowley got his idea from a film, we can say with relative ease that he's talking about something he personally experienced. I think we can all agree that if he did, it was with Aziraphale and the purpose of him bringing it up in the scene is not just as a suggestion to solve the issue of needing to matchmake The Shop Lesbians but as a way of being seductive towards Aziraphale.

This is also part of 'Kiss Me Deadly' in that Crowley here is the Velda to Aziraphale's Hammer. Hammer is preoccupied with the mystery. Velda tries to help him solve it but is also seeking his romantic attention the whole time and being rebuffed in favor of the mystery. It's darker in the film, as you'd probably expect, since it's film noir, and Aziraphale is actually subtly playing back in GO S2. In GO, it's mostly played off as Crowley, kicked out of bed since the religious family are in the guest room lol, continuously making overtures towards Aziraphale to torment him a little for the whole Gabriel situation but also mainly just because he likes to and he misses him. (It has been, like, maybe 18 whole hours lol.) He continues it into later in the day when Muriel is in the bookshop and Aziraphale is a little more overtly playful then but he is in the pub scene as well. All of this also ties into the fact that Aziraphale wants to drive The Bentley but again, that's a whole other meta. Going to stay focused on the kiss here...

So what we're saying is that, in the scene in The Dirty Donkey, Crowley does that whole lean and the sexy hands and that super posh voice he does from time to time to seduce Aziraphale, and describes their first kiss back to Aziraphale when asked to come up with a romantic solution to help their neighbors realize they are in love. Specifically, Crowley says this:

Whew. *fans self* Jesus, Crowley... No wonder why Aziraphale thought you could help The Shop Lesbians. That? Was romantic...

The key thing I love about this is that while everything he says lends itself to the idea of a kiss, he doesn't actually explicitly say that until the later scene in the back room when Muriel is in the bookshop-- the "one fabulous kiss" part. It's evident later on when he explains the plan to Jimbriel and when he puts it into action that his intent is to trigger a scenario that might prompt Maggie and Nina into kissing and when the awning collapses, he feels like he failed at the overall Vavoom. He did, however, see it working from across the street, such were the fireworks, when they looked into each other's eyes and what's sweet and also very hot about this scene in the pub is that the looking into each other's eyes is the key bit of The Vavoom to Crowley. The kiss is what happened as a result of looking into each other's eyes. The romance of the gaze and the passion of the kiss = The Vavoom but the latter without the former isn't the whole rapturous, perfect moment and Crowley is into this moment. He's still weak in the knees over the thought of it.

And what he says happened in it? They looked into each other's eyes and realized they were made for each other? Crowley thinks that. He says that, flat out, to Aziraphale. Crowley. Who was abandoned by the God who was supposed to love him believes that same God created he and Aziraphale for each other. That they're fated, destined soulmates. And that they both knew it, in that moment when they were taking shelter from a sudden rainstorm together, under a canopy, and they gazed into each other's eyes and then

Yes, I am aware that he says "humans" in that bit in the pub scene. He's referring to Nina & Maggie but also he and Aziraphale have a tendency to refer to their love for one another in human terms in different scenes throughout the series, which is probably a whole other meta and *refocuses on finding this damn kiss here*...

So Crowley-- while heavily emphasizing the words "together" and "canopy", both for maximum sexiness and to lead us in the correct direction lol-- tells us what's needed in this scene, right? We need a sudden rainstorm, a canopy, them wet from the rain and taking shelter, Crowley's glasses to be off or he's in a situation to be able to take them off (ironically, unlike he was when he was in the pub while he's talking about all this erotic gazing), and then we have all this gazing into a very vavoom-y, very passionate first kiss.

So, what scenes seem at all remotely tied to things Crowley describes for The Vavoom? There are three scenes that jump out immediately-- and it's none of them lol. They *are not kidding* about quite literally 'three cowrie shells and a lone caraway seed'. There are three scenes that they want you to think could be connected to this and be distracted by to complete their sleight of hand trick. They want you to look towards Aziraphale's hand and not up his sleeve, so to speak.

So the three cowrie shells scenes here are Before the Beginning, Eden, and the Job minisode. Why? They are the scenes that involve Crowley and Aziraphale and some form of a canopy, which is one of the two words in Crowley's whole Vavoom moment that he heavily emphasizes. So it's not Before the Beginning and it's not Eden and why? Because we're missing the other word Crowley heavily emphasizes-- *together.* Crowley and Aziraphale took shelter from a sudden rainstorm *together* under a canopy. That's the set up. But Before the Beginning and Eden-- the first scenes our minds run to-- are not this because they are sheltering *one another* but not sheltering *together*. One of them is exposed to the rain each time.

There's an additional possibility that is thrown into the mix that is tied to these two scenes, which is the S2 announcement poster-- the one that features Crowley and Aziraphale on Whickber Street in the rain. That one is also out because Crowley is being sheltered from the rain by Aziraphale with a tartan umbrella (ridiculously adorable, I agree lol)-- but they're not both sheltering together. That one feels like it was designed just to fuck with us, especially because Crowley's hair in it is, for some reason, at Eleven Years Ago length in it. It's almost like it exists to both be cute and to, after the season is over, make us go wait... was it then? (It was not then.) More distractions. Ok, so, then what about the Job minisode?

Is it ox rib night? This seems to have some elements at play-- there's a roof and a storm and them together and all-around kiss vibes-- but it's actually not this, either. That said? Job is connected to it in a big way and helps prove my theory here so we're going to come back to it. I'll eliminate it here by pointing out that when Crowley defends The Vavoom as a possibility for Maggie & Nina to Aziraphale, he says "get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes" and "humans" in that bit is them, even if they are not fully. This eliminates the Job minisode as The Vavoom because it confirms that Crowley & Aziraphale did get wet as they went to shelter from the storm. In the Job minisode, they never go out in it. So, Job is out, too.

Ok, so then how do we find the one scene that unlocks this and points us towards the answer hidden in plain sight in front of us?

What is the one scene that really should tell us more about The Vavoom? How about the one wherein Crowley partially recreates it?

The Awning of a New Age is the lone carraway seed. Maggie & Nina paralleling Crowley & Aziraphale. What can we learn about what happened with Crowley & Aziraphale from what happened in this Maggie & Nina scene?

We already know that Crowley feels like he partially failed at recreating The Vavoom for them. It was meant to lead into a kiss and then the awning collapsed. That is what is different from Crowley & Aziraphale's first kiss but Crowley was delighted by the gazing, which we already know to be the very important bit of this here. Off of this, we can conclude that there's obviously a parallel of this bit for Crowley & Aziraphale and this is where the parallels in the scene stop. That means that what happens *before* the gazing moment in The Awning of a New Age scene is important because that's the parallel. So, what's happening while Crowley spots them together outside and starts up the rain? They're talking, right? And what are they talking about?

They're talking about one of them-- Nina-- having a partner who is unreasonably upset. Nina is anxious about it. She doesn't blame Maggie for it, as it's not Maggie's fault. It's also not Nina's own fault and what Lindsay wants from Nina is confining and abusive. Lindsay, we learn, is cruel. We decide in this scene really how much we don't like Nina with this woman and that we want her to be with nice Maggie who is sweet and supportive and is over the moon for her.

On the surface, this would seem to be absolutely nothing like any Crowley & Aziraphale scene we've ever seen, right? Fooled by what is on the surface-- modern lesbians in London Soho, one of whom has a romantic partner-- this seems to be a plot Crowley & Aziraphale have never had. Except, that it's not. It's a parallel to one you'll remember.

One, paralleling sentence here for you...

God's a bit tetchy...

Awning of a New Age unlocks that Lindsay being unreasonably angry and dolling out insane punishment for no actual misdeeds is a parallel to God during The Flood. God was Aziraphale's Lindsay-- the unseen, abusive partners, sending down their words and marching orders and causing distress. Crowley approached Aziraphale like how Maggie approaches Nina. Aziraphale half-heartedly tries to defend God the way that Nina half-heartedly tries to defend Lindsay but both pretty much give up in the face of Crowley's and Maggie's sane responses and support. The agreement that the present situation-- Lindsay about to abandon Nina, God about to abandon her creations in The Flood-- is horrible and unjust. They connect over the lack of justice. The Flood scene we saw ends as the rain begins, with Crowley and Aziraphale both looking up as it starts to fall.

Maggie and Nina get further-- they get to the first half of The Vavoom, in parallel. We haven't seen that yet with Crowley & Aziraphale. (Maggie & Nina also didn't have to go stop and save a bunch of people first lol.)

So how do we know that The Flood was the first kiss?

How do we know that Crowley and Aziraphale first kissed in Ancient Mesopotamia in fucking 3004 B.C. and have been vavoom sorted gone on each other ever since?

Because it happening in the aftermath of saving lives in The Flood would then mean it meets every one of the elements Crowley describes. They get wet from the storm. They will work to save everyone, which is evident from Aziraphale being dead fucking certain in the Job minisode that Crowley was a sweetheart who wasn't going to kill any goats or kids. How would he know this for sure? Saying that what God was doing was terrible in The Flood scene isn't enough for Aziraphale's surety by Job. That means that Mesopotamia and The Flood is the first time they teamed up. It means that Crowley saved people and animals during it. It more than likely means that he did so in a way similar to what he does during the Job minisode-- he transformed them into something that could survive the storm, probably rocks or something. (Big Medusa vibes lol.) But what would happen then? Crowley and Aziraphale would have to *stay through the storm to turn the people back*, right?

So, they'd need to seek shelter from the rainstorm. Under a canopy that could survive the storm. One they can both step back under and bump into one another beneath. Most likely, it's an actual canopy in original meaning of the word-- the shelter of trees. I think one of them (Crowley) bolted afterwards, based on the Job minisode, which we'll get to again in a second, and from under a canopy would be the easiest way to just be able to leave during a storm. (They did not spend the Biblical 40 days and 40 nights under that canopy or they almost certainly would have wound up having sex, which the show is suggesting in other scenes didn't happen for awhile after this which is also another meta lol.) But there's also another reason for trees that kind of cracks me up.

Remember when Aziraphale comes back from Edinburgh in S2 and, before he left, they had their whole Our Car/Our Bookshop thing and Crowley's been peeved for a day now over how Aziraphale got to go adventure in The Bentley and he got to wear a cardigan and babysit their former attempted murderer? And about how what he's really playfully irritated over is that he keeps trying to use Operation Shop Lesbians to turn Aziraphale on by mentioning their Vavoomy first kiss and Aziraphale is, kind of hilariously in retrospect, just totally tormenting him by barely indulging him on it? What happens when Aziraphale comes back from his trip?

Crowley-- genuinely-- says "there you are-- I was worried something had happened to you" and he's off-camera for a moment as he does so and the camera is on Aziraphale, who kind of seems like he would like one of Crowley's kisses about now. But what does Aziraphale get in place of where a kiss could have gone?

A face full of plants lol.

In their box, so that when he handed them to Aziraphale, they hung over his head like a canopy.

Don't wanna talk about The Vavoom, angel? Fine. You're just getting the trees. Mwah. *goes to his car and is all did you misssssss me kissy face*

Aziraphale, in old married bitch mode:

Finally, there's that Ancient Mesopotamia is, chronologically, the last scene so far in which Crowley is not seen wearing glasses, which is essential because Crowley-- while wearing his glasses in the pub lol-- describes the key bit of The Vavoom as involving staring into one another's eyes, which Crowley & Aziraphale can't do if Crowley has his glasses on. Since Crowley wears his glasses in approximately 87% of Good Omens, it means that the answer is in a scene where he's either not wearing them at all or could be seen as able to take them off. Mesopotamia meets that criteria. But there's still one more thing that can really hammer home the idea of this The Flood, Part 2 being their first kiss and that's going to be how we end up back at the Job minisode again.

Go back and think of the Job minisode again but now with the idea that the last time they saw one another-- ages before it-- they shared this moment of wildly passionate vavoom and look at how it recontextualizes the entire minisode.

Start with when they first see each other again. Where did *that* Aziraphale come from? He's teasing him.

The Aziraphale in Before the Beginning and in Eden and in the first bit of The Flood that we've seen is more anxious. He's not afraid of Crowley and he's definitely attracted to him but he's distracted by the dangers of what is happening while they're talking. Suddenly, he jumps from the Aziraphale of The Flood to the Aziraphale of the Job minisode. This one is flirtier. This one is literally like all so you never called-ing Bildad the Shuite lol. He's all "last time I saw you was... The Flood?" like he doesn't know and Crowley is all tight nod ohfuckit'shim and also ohfuckit'shimhavemissedhimsomuch and hiding behind his sunglasses-- Bildad is the first appearance of the sunglasses, chronologically, so we go from the Vavoomy gaze to Crowley hiding his eyes... this then all moves into the courtyard scene after a few moments...

Oh, what's this now? The only scene in the whole series in which Aziraphale asks Crowley to take his glasses off? And he does? So quickly-- intentionally-- that his expression from before is still on his face and it's just nothing but naked want like he's saying oh you wondered how I was looking at you from behind these this whole time? yeah, it was like this... Aziraphale is straight up asking for more vavoom. Take the glasses off. Look me in the eye and tell me you want this and yeah, sure, they're talking *on the surface* on *one level* of their conversation about whether or not Crowley is exhibiting serial killer tendencies and wanting to kill small animals and kids but, really, this scene is also the formation of their coded way of speaking to one another. Crowley's "I want to. I long (pause) to kill the blameless kids of Job the way I killed his blameless goats" and then lifting just enough of the magic to let Aziraphale see that he had actually not killed the goats at all but had actually faked their deaths, indicating that that was his plan for saving the kids as well... Well, it also means that *all* of what Crowley just said to him was coded. That's the weird pause after "I long" that breaks it into two sentences. It makes the second level of their conversation that Crowley whipped off his glasses, gazed into Aziraphale's eyes, and said I want to, I long... meaning, I want you, I want to kiss you again, I long for you...

But the bit of the Job episode that sells me on The Flood being The Vavoom is actually the bit just after Crowley miracles himself, Aziraphale, the kids, Jemimah's pot (because he's so not a serial killer, he saved the damn pot lol), the wine (because fuck that little Influencer Brat of Job-- Crowley's not about to kill a kid but he absolutely will drink the last of his wine for treating Aziraphale like a whore lol), and the food down to the cellar and started iguana-ing the kids. Why this bit? Because Aziraphale is fucking giddy and is just tormenting the living fuck out of Crowley.

He's all "I knew it!" and when you first watch the scene, right, you could think he means he knew that Crowley would save the kids. Yet, he already knows that by this point-- that's what the courtyard scene was. That's why he's yelling that he's "QUITE SURE" when Crowley asks him if he is (and calls him "angel" for the first time when doing so) while he's setting everything on fire just a moment before. Obviously, Aziraphale is happy that Crowley didn't kill the kids but what he's all I knew it *smug smile, actually fucking wiggling with flirty joy* about is that Crowley wanted to be alone with him again and would find a way to make it happen because what's the plan? The one that Aziraphale is totally teasing him about?

Aziraphale is going on about how oh, this is *Satan's* big plan, huh? A *big storm*? He loves every minute of it and he also really loves Crowley getting very close to him-- kissable close-- and being all "ooh aren't you brilliant?" when Aziraphale was acting smug. When did Crowley get that comfortable getting that close to him?

But yeah, Aziraphale loving every second of Crowley saving the kids, turning them into sightless/soundless iguanas, and sending a storm over the land for the night while keeping the two of them dry in a little cellar canopy so they can be alone together again-- essentially, repeating a version of The Vavoom scenario, as he'll still be trying to do millennia later... Aziraphale thought that very romantic and had no problem flirtily teasing the hell out of Crowley for it. Crowley's game is as ancient as Bildad the Shuite lol.

So yeah, what we're saying here is that there's a The Flood, Part 2 and that it's likely in S3. I actually wouldn't be surprised if it opened S3, since the first two seasons are opened with the other canopy-themed firsts-- the two first times they met, really, in Before the Beginning and Eden, both with the wing canopy-ing of one another-- so S3 could be the tree canopy and their first kiss. The Flood also seems likely to return because of how it ties thematically to the whole end of the world of S3's Second Coming plot.

One aspect of this theory that I really like is also that it means that Crowley was more female-presenting during their first kiss (which also goes along with the feminine energy sometimes associated with the phrase "vavoom"/"vavavoom") but also that when they next see one another in the Job minisode, Crowley is the more male-presenting Bildad the Shuite... and Aziraphale is really just into all of it. He's just into Crowley, full stop. We already know he is but I like the idea of it tied to their early days and showing it unfold a bit and how it's just all fine by Aziraphale, who just loves this being and is happy to see them and get to be alone with them again. It's very sweet and romantic.

I guess the last thing to say is that if this is true, we're all going to have a field day redoing the psychoanalysis of this bit below, aren't we?

[castleclerics]

ABSOLUTELY INSANE NINA PROJECT PARALLELS FROM FUTURE MAN S2 (2019)

so there i was…. minding my own business watching s2 of a show i watched solely for josh hutcherson. then suddenly… he wakes up out of a simulation in a bathtub.

anyways once he fully awakes he’s greeted by literal female brenner

i don’t even think i have to explain the next screenshots so just look at this shit

she tells him she's from the future and she went back in time because she believes he's the only person with "the skills to save our world" similar to how owens tells el the same thing in 4x03

this part is crazy to me because i already had a theory that if el did the massacre, that her sending one through the gate was something her own mind made up.

anyways so the reason they put him in the simulation was to ask him questions about this guy (its a really long story) but like in the og timeline this doctor creates a cure but it destroys humanity so josh wakes up in another timeline where he didn't save the world, where stu, josh's former coworker, takes place of the og doctor. but it's interesting to think about since brenner was trying to have el find henry all this time and what if he wanted to see what questions her brain could answer about him to collect info on him or something??

el saying to brenner "i came here to try and understand who i was." LIKEEE

he asks if he says no to the simulation process then what would happen so she tells him they'll wipe his memory and "the only side-effect would be the lingering sensation like something was off. it would just be gnawing at you never more than a shadow." which reminds me of el laying in bed and getting flashes of the massacre in 4x03.

anyways onto the twin/clone stuff !!!!!!

he escapes into the desert after this so og josh doesn't end up getting killed. so basically they clone josh to see which version of him will be the correct one powerful enough to take down stu. also og josh ends up stumbling into a room of all of his dead clones :)

AHEMMM el commiting the massacre........ (for backstory in s1 he blew up a building to save the world so it was for good) and brenner recreating henry over and over…..

also just look at all the screenshots it literally looks like it was filmed where s4 nina scenes were filmed...

btw i'm still making a masterpost thing of how el rly did do the massacre it's gonna take a while bc i still have to do a little more analyzing and go over alllll of nina

there's literally more parallels but i can't fit them in this post but they aren't too important, more just to show the writers genuinely got inspo straight from this. anyways how fun right my jaw was on the floor watching this

[daerklina]

what eric heisserer did to alina’s character was absolutely devastating

first of all she got less than two hours of the whole timeline of the whole s2 as a main character.

if they made shadow and bone crossed with the crows, which was absolutely unnecessary and dumb decision because they sidelined even crows themselves and didn’t enlighten none of the problems crows themselves suffered like what jesper and nina felt as grishas or what happened to inej. all of it just to lift kaz’s backstory.

and yes, if they made kaz and alina leads, why kaz got his lines from the books and alina got none when originally this show & books were about her and her only

they promised they’d explore alina’s heritage but by some reasons she was the only person who didn’t get any backstory and they left no clue who are her parents and did other sun summoners exist before. sorry I don’t accept the book ending either because alina was only special and leigh left her powerless with some stinky otkazat’sya on a farm.

and what we got? “empty promises” as said alina in s2 but darkling’s promises were real and the writers’ aren’t. even jessie mei li wasn’t much comfortable about the decision of alina’s complete erasure.

I also can write miles of text how badly they treated the actress herself how they made jessie stay the longest on set, didn’t include most of scenes and how they made everyone shoot in a warm clothes (darkling’s death scene) in 35 degrees hot.

what drives me more mad is that mal knows whose descendant he is, why is he like this but NOTHING for alina. and I even know why, because in any case if alina’s backstory was in the book & show the ending wouldn’t fit leigh’s and eric’s narratives (alina’s terrible ending)

alina is the most powerful and the most interesting and the most unexplored character even in the books and I’m so angry they made her asian just to violently sideline her

also as I remember correct one writer was also involved in a show that erased asian character (dc titans?)

the only and only thing about the show is alina ending up a queen, surrounded by grisha and a good husband who may not be her lover but he’s protective, will always listen to her, will never whine , will help her etc (I’ll forever annoy y’all with my darkolina agenda)

[lackadaisy-headcanon-supply-unit]

Hi I hope this isn't too much trouble but

Can you do a child rocky x child reader? (The reader has a younger sister in this) fluff to angst to fluff It's basically how rocky met reader and their sister as kids and then one day reader and their sister have to move (you can decide why if you want) and rocky gets sad by this but they meet again as adults working together at lackadaisy

(Hope this isn't too much)

I probably fudged a few things from canon here, so forgive me if anything is put in the wrong place in his timeline.

So imagine you’re Rocky for a moment. You’re bouncing between two households because your mom’s in and out of someplace you can’t go and your dad couldn’t be fucked to look after you. Aunt Nina’s great and all, Freckle’s swell, but you’re getting the wires crossed on what’s home and what’s temporary lodging. And then a kitten your age and her sister (Freckle’s age) move in next door.

Y/N and her family expected a welcoming party and boy did they get it. Aunt Nina baked a little something, dressed up her boy and her sister’s unfortunate little drifter and brought them over. Rocky kept up a  “prim and proper” facade until Y/N peered out from behind their parent’s leg and it was torn down in favour of talking at a mile a minute. Before Y/N likely knew what was happening they were invited outside and listening to Rocky lay the foundation for a pretend adventure story while his cousin looked sheepish and their sister was utterly enraptured.

His Designated Second Best Friend (second Only to Freckle, his Platonic Soulmate) having moved in, things started to become a little more solid for Rocky. Which is a good thing, because about as soon as he and Y/N declared each other best friends Nina got the news that his mother was gone, his father had vanished into thin air and custody of Rocky had gone to her.

So he was both uprooted and barely moved. Y/N and their sister sat with him at the wake held at Nina’s house, but he was a little confused and ashamed of himself because he hardly remembered his mother. She got sick when he was about four years old. Now seven, the only memories he had were foggy at best.

That was the start of a tough time for him. He acted out more often yet couldn’t understand why. He had anger outbursts that ended in grounding and forgot about them. Since whatever was going on upstairs couldn’t be diagnosed at the time, nobody had any idea what was going on in his furry little head. Yet Freckle and Y/N stuck by him through it, even after he shaved Freckle’s face and deliberately slammed Y/N’s tail in a door to see if he could break it. (They forgave him, but they also tucked in their tail or wore it in a belt for a little while after.)

Idle curiosity turning deadly aside, he was wonky but stable. Y/N’s family suddenly having to move away after a house fire was a hit to his morale, but he was fine. Yep, perfectly fine. Until he got kicked out. But that was fine too, because he could share letters with Freckle.

After spending a few years doing whatever the Hell he felt like and bouncing around from place to place (his favourite stint being at a circus), he was back in Saint Louis. Home sweet home.

He wound up in a speakeasy band as the violinist (and rum running part time). It wasn’t a bad gig, all things considered. It was nice to be able to improvise and not set everything on fire because of it, Zib gave him the leeway to go wild if he saw fit, it was nice to see the place fill up every night and the people liked tolerated noticed

Well, it was nice to see the place fill up. He even started picking out a familiar face here or there after a few months.

When Ivy started bringing a newly-of-college-age queen in with her, Rocky took notice. Something about the girl felt strangely familiar. Was it the bold glint in her eye that commanded adventure or the strange little lisp in her voice? Maybe she never grew out of it.

Ivy caught on to Rocky’s notice of her and dragged her over to meet him after a set…Along with a genderless feline whom Rocky would recognize anywhere. The rest of the pieces fell into place then and there.

The reunion between Y/N and Rocky was unfortunately cut short due to a silly little shootout over a few bottles, but the two got away safely so there’s no harm done. They’ll be back.

The thought of seeing Y/N and their sister again gives Rocky new appreciation for Lackadaisy. The place gave him a safe space, some friends acquaintances and even brought his best friend back to him.

[demonsfate]

shipping questions // accepting // @juanalmada1234 asked . . . shipping questions: 1, 18, 20, 22 and 28

1. what’s the best thing about shipping for you?

It's hard to say! There are so many great things about shipping! But I think it may just be delving deep into the characters' feelings. Often, people may behave differently toward those they are in love with. I feel that in ships, you can view a side of a character that isn't often seen. Like Jin may be more affectionate and more willing to make physical contact with a lover than he will with a friend. They may know stuff about each other than nobody else does. And we get to see just how far the characters will go for their lovers. I just think it's a great opportunity to flesh out two characters.

It's also interesting for Devil, because he used to be somebody who couldn't really love anyone. So, it's a new experience for him!

18. is there a ship you used to like, but not anymore?

I'm trying to think but... I don't think there really is? Usually it's rare for me to start disliking a ship I've enjoyed. I guess the closest thing to this would be that I used to consider the idea of Jin & Julia (they have stuff in common!) But I pushed that aside in favor for Jun & Michelle. Dunno why! But I just prefer the moms together lol

20. is there a ship you wanted to play, but couldn’t yet?

EEEEEYAHHHH!! As I said, I do have a soft spot for the Jin & Alisa ship, so I would not mind trying that one out!!! I also have a super secret soft spot for the Jin & Miguel ship! Y'know, it's not as toxic in MY portrayal 'cos Jin isn't actually responsible for the sister's death. But y'know, the guy who did get her killed still exists within him... so that would make things AWKWARD. Anyway, I like the Jin & Miguel ship just because it seems Jin has a thing for the hot-headed aggressive guys. And well... also just look at how TALL and HANDSOME he is! I thiiiiink those are the only ships I haven't really gotten to play yet? I'll probs get to play 'em eventually, tho! Frick, it took over a year for me to get a Xiao & Hwoarang to ship with!

22. is there any ship you will likely never play? (apart from the obvious in/cest, pe/dophilia etc, i want to believe you guys are Good)

Hmm. I think I'm pretty lenient on who I ship Jin with - like I'm VERY easygoing when it comes to writing ships! Hell, somebody could be like "do you wanna ship?" and I'll be like "SURE!" But I do have some dealbreakers, or more so, Jin has some dealbreakers. Like for example, I don't mind the Nina & Jin ship (I don't ship it but it's not something I dislike) but... I just don't see Jin dating an assassin. I see him dating a former assassin who now wants to make amends. But he's not going to date somebody who's still actively hurting or killing people. So like, that means Anna is also off the plate! I also don't see Jin with Marduk or Ganryu either luls. And obviously, Jin would never date Ogre for obvious reasons lol. He wouldn't date Azazel either. But honestly, I don't think those two are capable of romance.

Devil, on the other hand - I feel like there would be a lot more ships I'd be willing to do with him, but it also depends on the timeline. I'd joke that pre-purified Devil would go after Ogre, and he may! But Jin's hatred for Ogre is too strong, and thus, it influences Devil to be furious with Ogre. Devil, would however, go after Marduk - purified and not purified unfortunately. Like Jin though, he wouldn't be interested in Ganryu.

28. would you play a “bitter exes” relationship?

The funny thing is that out of all the years I've been RPing (11 years now...) I have never written a breakup with mine & my partner's muses, I've never written exes before. Isn't that weird? I always thought I'd get breakup threads 'cos I happen to frequently write problematic muses. (Like Devil - villains. Or if not villains, then morally gray / anti-heroes) Yet... nothing ever happens! The only time I wrote a breakup was in private discord RPs (back when I used to do those) and they got back together anyway lol.

But I wouldn't mind doing a bitter exes relationship! Though... I'm not sure how bitter Jin would be. I think Jin would only be very bitter if the relationship ended due to betrayal. But I'm not so sure 'cos I never had the opportunity!

Devil, on the other hand, would be a very bitter ex no matter how the relationship ended. Just because Devil, even after purification, is a jealous and possessive man. He may not be as aggressive about it as he once was, but he still feels those two emotions, and he still has to cope with them.

[kaesaaurelia]

petrichor, ozone, and copper

For @whumptober day 14, using the prompts “water inhalation,“ “just hold on,” and the lyric prompt, “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”

Continued from Day 1, wherein Crowley definitely did not move into the bookshop, took a nap on the couch afterwards, and when he woke up his lungs hurt and he passed out, Day 2, wherein Muriel carried him into Maggie’s record shop, because they hoped a human might understand better than they do what was wrong with him, Day 10, wherein Crowley's illness was causing strange and terrible weather, and help from Heaven was not forthcoming, and Day 13, wherein Crowley got even worse, but Muriel thought they might've worked out what had happened.

Muriel brought Crowley back to Nina's shop, which was very empty. When they put him down on one of the tables, he looked very grumpy indeed.

They didn't know if that was consistent with what they thought was happening to him, but it was consistent with Crowley, so they didn't worry about it too much. "I think it's holiness poisoning," they told the humans. Crowley made an incomprehensible but thoroughly grumpy noise. "Only I don't think it's usually this slow?"

"What do you know about holiness poisoning?" Crowley asked.

"Oh, it's all in the employee handbook!" said Muriel, perking up. "All the ways it can happen, and what it looks like, and how we mustn't do it to any demons, because it's a violation of all kinds of treaties."

"And how to fix it?" Maggie asked hopefully.

"Er. No, actually," said Muriel. There must be a way to fix it, though, because... well, because. Surely God wouldn't let this just happen to Crowley, who was very nice except for the demon thing, so if he had got holiness poisoning somehow, there must be a way to fix it.

"So they told you how to do something you aren't supposed to do?" said Nina, leaning against the counter. Nina sometimes asked questions in ways that made Muriel awfully uncomfortable, which they tried to ignore, because surely Nina didn't mean to do that. "Sounds more like they just wanted you to make sure you weren't caught."

"Oh, no, they would never want us to do something we weren't supposed to," said Muriel, appalled. "That's the first thing in the employee handbook! And the third, and several other things also. It's definitely very important to the mission statement."

"Right," said Nina, but it was a slow, drawn-out sort of way to say "Right." Muriel decided to try not to worry about it.

"Anyway!" they said brightly, "I think I know what caused it, actually, and since it would be such a terrible treaty violation, I can only assume Hell is trying to frame Heaven for it, so Heaven should be very happy to help me fix it!"

"Mmhmm," said Nina, exchanging a look with Maggie. Crowley tried to say something, but he started coughing again, so conversation was briefly impossible because of the thunder.

"Anyway! Now that I know who to talk to, I'm going to go back to the bookshop and try to get a hold of then!" This would be much easier, because reaching somebody who knew specific things about physical matter would probably be easier than waiting for someone, anyone, to answer a general prayer and redirect it to the Supreme Archangel.

"Er. Good luck with that?" said Maggie. "But isn't there anything we can do for him now?"

"Don't put any holy water on him," said Muriel, brightly.

"Seems easy enough," said Maggie.

"And don't light any candles you got recently as housewarming gifts," added Muriel, just in case, because they were reasonably sure that was what had happened. They felt stupid now, not thinking to check that the candle had come from the Supreme Archangel and not an infernal malcontent hoping to provoke a terrible war according to Hell's timeline instead of Heaven's.

"House... warming?" Maggie asked.

"It's a charming human tradition!" said Muriel, who was surprised the humans did not already know about their own traditions. "I'll be back as soon as I have a solution."

They hurried back to the bookshop, waving away several lightning bolts. That seemed awfully dangerous for the humans to deal with, they thought. Which was yet another reason there must be a way to help Crowley!

Once they were back, they started the circle up again, but this time they knew exactly who they were going to be contacting, and it wasn't the Supreme Archangel, because clearly there was something wrong today with how Heaven was directing prayers. At one point in Heaven they'd memorized the entire internal directory, and an angel in the lower rungs of the Physics & Metaphysics Division had to be easier to reach than the Supreme Archangel.

And so it was that, in very little time at all, they were speaking with Arariel. "Sorry, who are you, exactly?" Arariel asked.

"Oh, I'm Muriel!"

"Do I know you?"

"No." Muriel had just liked their name, which they thought was fun to say. They decided not to explain that, though, because it seemed a bit rude. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Oh, no, no," said Arariel, shaking their head. "It's a bit dull here now the world's all created and everything. Last thing I had anything to do must've been, oh, a hundred years ago at least, maybe more."

They'd gone a lot longer without anyone bothering them, so that didn't sound that bad, really. "What was it about then?"

"Some Principality wanted us to end support for fire. I knew the idea was mad from the start, but there was so little going on I read all fifty pages, just in case they had some good points."

"Did they?" Muriel asked. It seemed an odd request to them; fire was so nice and cozy.

"Nah," said Arariel. " But I'm sure whatever you need won't be that weird. So! What do you need?"

"The cure for holiness poisoning." Arariel frowned at them, so they clarified. "In demons. Well, one demon."

Arariel nodded slowly, and Muriel waited for them to explain the cure. But instead they said, "Sorry, you know we don't like demons, yeah?"

"Oh, no, obviously," said Muriel. "But this one is nice! Also his symptoms are pretty dangerous for the humans. I'm on Earth," they clarified, "so there's a lot of them! Anyway, what should we do to fix all of that?"

"Erm. Well. Have you tried holy water? Once the demon is gone for good there won't be any more dangerous symptoms," Arariel said.

"But that would kill him!" said Muriel.

"Right," said Arariel. There was a long silence, and then they said, again, "You know we don't like demons, right? Because they're evil?"

"This one isn't, though. I mean he is, but he's not really," Muriel said. "And he's really suffering. I don't think God would let that happen, do you?"

Arariel frowned. They did not seem angry so much as fearful, though Muriel could not tell why they were afraid. "Well. Look, I don't know what to tell you."

"But it's a terrible treaty violation," said Muriel. "Hell's clearly set this up so that it would look like we provoked a war, but we didn't, and then we'll have --"

"I really don't think the leadership would mind if there was a war," said Arariel.

Some leadership would, Muriel knew. "Look," they said, "if you can't help me I really do need to be put in contact with the Supreme Archangel --"

"The Supreme Archangel?" Arariel repeated this with incredulity, as if Muriel had asked to speak to God. "He'd smite me. He'd smite you, too. Very smitey one, I hear."

"I've met him and he's very nice," said Muriel. "He gave me a cup of tea."

"Don't know what that is."

"It's nice to look at!"

"Well. Er. Great for you. Look, anyway --"

"The reason I'm asking about the cure for holiness poisoning," said Muriel, determined to keep what little foothold they had, "is because the demon who's got it is the Supreme Archangel's... er... er..." They were not quite sure how to describe the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley. "Well, Crowley's sort of his demon, do you understand?"

Arariel looked very dismayed. "Oh. Oh no. Yeah, we've all heard of Crowley."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing, never mind," said Arariel. "I don't know what can be done for him, though, so --"

"If you don't help me I'm going to tell the Supreme Archangel," said Muriel, impulsively.

They felt a bit bad about it later, but it did seem to help things along, in that Arariel went from dismayed to terrified in short order, and said "Right! Yes! I'll -- we'll -- we'll work something out, yeah. It wasn't by holy water, I would imagine, because I think he's immune, and anyway if he wasn't he'd be dead. What was the method of exposure?"

They thought about Crowley's tiny lung knives, and the candle they'd been gifted from, supposedly, the Supreme Archangel. "I think inhalation?"

"Of some sort of incense, or --"

"No, I don't think so -- let me just check something," said Muriel. They hurried back to the desk, where they found the candle, and they sniffed it carefully. Yes, that thing that had made them feel at home was definitely holiness. They rummaged around in Aziraphale's desk drawer until they found a little letter opener shaped like a sword, which they used to cut the candle open.

In the center was a hard white thing buried in wax, but melting that away with a quick miracle, the thing looked like a knucklebone.

They hurried back to the circle and held out their hand for Arariel to see. "This was in a candle. It's very holy."

"Aah, a human saint's relic," said Arariel. "Very holy indeed. Well. And the demon's still... alive, and reasonably intact?"

"He's coughing a lot and he's lost all his strength," said Muriel.

"Well. You'll want to ease the holiness out of him... somehow. Let me run some tests. I'll get back to you," said Arariel.

"I'm sorry to put you to all this trouble, only it's very important," said Muriel. "He's a very nice demon."

"I don't know about that," said Arariel, doubtfully. "On the other hand, at least you're not proposing to edit a fundamental chemical reaction out of the universe entirely, so. Small favors."

--

The longer Crowley stayed out of the bookshop, the better he felt. He was still feeling awful, but the blood rain had turned into regular rain, which was good because that would probably keep it from clotting up in the gutters, and his temperature had gone down enough that he was safe for humans to touch. It still hurt to breathe, though, and to move, and it was all deeply infuriating because all he wanted to do was sleep and the only place with a bed was the place he couldn't go into. But between the two of them Nina had got someone to lend her a cot and Maggie had got blankets from somewhere and he was dozing uncomfortably in the record shop's storage area, which wasn't really a room of its own but it was at least slightly hidden from human view.

Muriel came by late in the evening to explain what they'd found out, which was that Crowley could be cured by the simple expediency of inhaling holy water.

"What," said Crowley.

"Because you're immune, you see," said Muriel. "That's what Arariel said, anyway. I didn't know a demon could be immune to holy water," they added, "but that's very handy, isn't it?"

"Ah." Crowley did not exactly have regrets about escaping his execution by switching places with Aziraphale, but also, it did mean Muriel's information was a bit useless. "So the problem with that iss I'm... not... completely immune? I mean, I'm definitely immune enough that you don't need to go telling Heaven I'm not."

"Oh," said Muriel, nodding as if that made sense. "Well. Could you -- er. What if you just breathed in holy steam?"

"That would hurt a lot," Crowley said. His voice no longer sounded like his own, but on the plus side, he wasn't coughing as much anymore, because it was hard for a throat to itch when it was in this much pain.

"It would, but it would dissolve all the little spiky holy particles in your lungs, hopefully," said Muriel.

"Holy... particles?" Maggie asked, dubiously.

"Yes! Arariel told me about them," said Muriel.

"And you believe thissss Arariel?" Crowley asked.

"I did tell them that if you died I was going to tell the Supreme Archangel," said Muriel, "and they seemed to want to avoid that."

"Hmph," said Crowley, not thinking much of this threat. But then again, he was in enough agony, and how much worse could inhaling holy steam be? And as little as Aziraphale must think of him, Crowley couldn't imagine he wouldn't be at least a little upset if Crowley died. So he supposed he might as well try it, because either he'd die and it would be over, or he wouldn't die and he could make everyone else at least half as unhappy as he was about it the whole time.

It took until the next day to obtain both the holy water and a humidifier, since nobody was keen on making Crowley put his face in a boiling pot of holy water. When he was finally able to try this supposed cure, the storm around Whickber Street became a mist to rival the bad old days of pea-soup fog, and all he could recall of the day was a searing pain and Muriel trying to be encouraging at him while he felt like his throat was being eaten up by acid.

But eventually, finally, when he faced away from the steam, the pain was significantly lessened, and Muriel suggested he rest for a few hours, and by the end of the day the only traces of the brief but strange local weather disturbance were the mingled scents of petrichor, ozone, and copper, and a handful of thinkpieces in the papers about the unexpected consequences of climate change, and Crowley was still wobbly and exhausted and achey, but he could breathe without pain.

[unreliablesnake]

Of reverse love and stuff: Good news, bad news (Eobard Thawne x OFC x Harrison Wells)

Summary: Eobard comes to see Nina with good news, but all she has are bad news.

Note: If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics. If you want to read other parts of this series, check the #orlas tag.

Eobard had a big smile on his face when his eyes fell on her in the middle of the crowded bar, and before she could say anything, he closed the gap between them and kissed her gently, clearly taking his time and enjoying every moment of their reunion. He was in a good mood, better than he usually was in when they met for their monthly dates, and Nina suddenly felt guilty for what she was about to do tonight.

“It’s gonna be cruel, I know that, but it has to be done tonight. I can’t waste more time,” Harrison had told her on the phone earlier that day, seconds after he warned her about Eobard’s expected arrival in the afternoon.

So she was now sitting across from him in a secluded booth, nursing a cocktail that was too bright for her current mood, but since his boyfriend decided to pick her favorite, she didn’t complain, only flashed a thankful smile at him. Her foot was tapping furiously from the nervousness that took over her system, and it was hard to pay attention to the small talk he began with.

She knew he had something important to say, and she couldn’t help but wonder what it could be. His bright smile and generally happy attitude made her curious, which is exactly why she put her feelings aside for a second to focus on him. Nina reached out to put her hand on his and she even flashed a smile at him when he looked at her.

“Why don’t you tell me what got you this excited?” she asked him.

“I found him. I found out what time period the Flash is from,” Eobard replied with an incredulous laugh. “After all those trips, I finally found out, and you know what? I found him only a few years from now.”

That was good news. He had been trying to pinpoint his enemy’s location in the timeline for a while now, but knowing he finally succeeded made her proud. “Congratulations, I guess. What now?”

He intertwined his fingers with hers as he thought about the answer. “I need to find out who’s behind the mask. That’s gonna be a tough one,” he admitted, but she could tell he kept the second half of the sentence to himself so he wouldn’t sound too arrogant.

Nina let out a short laugh at this. “You’ll figure it out. If anyone, you can do it,” she told him with a reassuring smile.

“I know we can’t meet as often as we should, but I’m trying. When I travel in time, getting home is usually the tricky part, but I do my best to keep this relationship alive,” he told her, though she couldn’t really understand what it was all about. Eobard only stopped for a second to raise her hand he was holding and place a soft kiss on it. “I love you, Nina. I know you love me, I will never forget that, and I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you.”

It was strange. Eobard wasn’t the emotional type, something must have happened that made him say things like this. “What’s gotten into you?” she asked with a chuckle.

Eobard leaned back into his seat with a satisfied smirk on his face. “Nothing, I’m just in a good mood. Is it a crime?” She shook her head with a smile as she did the same. “I missed you, darling. I always miss you, especially when I go home alone,” he explained, his words only leaving more question marks behind.

“Then don’t go,” Nina said out of nowhere, going against everything Harrison had told her. She was supposed to break up seemingly, not ask him to stay with her.

“You know I can’t stay.”

It hurt her. Sure, she had his older version all to herself now, but that wasn’t the same. She wanted this version of Eobard, her boyfriend, the man who had saved her life a few months ago. She wanted to be selfish, a part of her wanted to ask for more of his time despite knowing full well he was busy trying to identify his greatest enemy.

Her phone buzzed on the table and she took a quick glance at the phone. It was a message from Harrison, he wanted to know if she had told him the news. With a groan, she turned off the screen and returned her attention to her boyfriend. But Eobard wasn’t stupid, he knew something was up.

He watched her with a raised eyebrow for a few seconds, but when he realized she wasn’t about to tell him, he leaned closer to ask, “Nina, what’s going on?”

“I need to tell you something,” she began hesitantly, having no idea where to begin. “We… I can’t be with you. Not publicly, I mean,” she quickly corrected herself when she saw the look on his face.

“What do you mean by we can’t be together publicly?” he asked, the anger in his voice easily detectable by now.

“You–an older version of you–told me I officially have to be with Harrison, not you. I’m just doing what you told me,” Nina added nervously.

Eobard took a deep breath then exhaled slowly as he thought about what to say next. It was clear he was mad, probably planning his escape from her by now, but he behaved because he wanted to know more. “Why would I believe that?” he asked.

“You told me that’s how you would react. You said something like you should trust me because I’m not Rose. Whatever that means,” she added.

He licked his lips as his hazel eyes were fixed on her. “Let me get this straight. My older version wants you to break up with me so you could date Wells? What’s in it for me?”

Nina shrugged. She wasn’t allowed to say more than this. “I have no idea. But I’m apparently allowed to see you in secret,” she pointed out.

The air was heavy with tension and she didn’t know what else to say. By now she knew how hot headed he could be, and hearing this must have been hard for his ego. Her heart was beating so fast she thought it would jump out of his ribcage as she waited for him to finally say something.

But he only shook his head and stormed out of the bar without saying anything. Nina let her forehead hit the table with a loud thud once he was gone, and it was a tough battle to fight back her tears. Her phone buzzed again. And again. It drew a groan out of her as she reached for the device and looked at the notifications.

Harrison was losing his patience at home. She sent him a text to calm him down, saying she would stop by later to tell him about this meeting, but he insisted on meeting her as soon as possible. So she collected her jacket and bag, then went outside to call a taxi. After the conversation with Eobard, the last thing she wanted was facing his other version.

Once she got out of the car in front of his house, she had to take a deep breath to convince herself to go inside. “I can do this,” she said to herself.

Harrison let her in through the gate without a question, and already waited for her at the front door with his arms folded over his chest. Nina stopped a few feet away from him, keeping a comfortable distance for now. The disappointment could be seen on his face, but there was something else too, something she couldn’t quite decode yet.

“How did it go?” he asked her softly.

“What do you think?” she snapped, surprising him with the reaction. “He just left. I don’t know where he went, for a moment I even thought of the possibility of him coming here to punch you or something.”

Silence fell between them but she wasn’t worried about it. For the first time since she had known him, silence felt nice. But then he ruined it by opening his arms and taking a step closer to her. “Come here, sweetheart.”

“You fucked everything up, Harrison. What if I never see him again?” she asked him worriedly, fighting back her tears for the second time in a matter of hours.

“You will. He loves you, Nina, he will always come back to you,” he assured her as he pulled her into a hug, but she couldn’t believe him. “Trust me, he’ll return. He just needs to calm down a bit first.”

[novelmonger]

I watched FMA: The Revenge of Scar on FMA Day and am only now talking about it shush leave me alone I was busy okay.

Both before and after watching it, I've come across a fair share of posts sharing their excitement about it, talking about it as something they enjoyed. And there's only one thought that comes to mind when I see them:

....Why?

I'm not trying to rain on anybody's parade or anything; I'm just genuinely confused. If you like these movies, what do you like about them? If you watched the first one and were excited when the sequel was announced, why? I'm just really confused, because I've watched two of these movies now, and...sorry to be blunt, but I thought both were a pile of crap ^^'

Am I just somehow missing everyone who's complaining about the movies? Or am I completely misunderstanding people who are trying to make the best of things? Because right now, I feel like I'm either left out of a huge, fandom-wide joke, or I've gone utterly insane.

I mean, I have sooooo many complaints against these movies, such as:

very fake-looking wigs and costumes (admittedly, they were a bit better in the second one)

Ed and Al were the only ones who could act their way out of a paper bag (I've only seen the sub, so can't speak to dub performances)

the CG looked so fake and ugly

even I noticed the awful greenscreen and masking lines

the transmutations were way too slow; I had horrible flashbacks to The Last Airbender x.x

terrible pacing, so both dramatic and comedic moments fall flat (which makes me want to cry, because Arakawa-san has such impeccable timing for both T^T)

nonsensical switching around of the timeline, creating problems for themselves they then have to scramble to solve in the most haphazard ways (like Ed's motivation to go to the ruins of Xerxes, which makes no sense now because they didn't have Ross go into hiding, so he had no reason to go into the desert; he just kind of...heard the word "ruins" and teleported to the desert)

WHAT ON EARTH WENT WRONG WITH ARMSTRONG WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM A PROSTHETIC SCALP JUST FIND AN ACTOR WHO LOOKS GOOD WITH A SHAVED HEAD GOODNESS GRACIOUS D:

Mei is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old

the soundtrack is utterly forgettable, which is a huge shame when you compare it to the masterpieces of Michiru Oshima and Akira Senju that came before it

Envy's true form is nowhere near big enough

maybe a minor gripe, but the clapping and snapping for alchemy just...doesn't sound cool like it does in both animes :/ More realistic, I guess, but um...this is fantasy, you can let such things have big dramatic sound effects just because they sound cool....

why on earth does Winry have dark hair????? Why does everybody else have to wear awful wigs but she keeps her natural hair color???? aldkfjsa;kfljsdlfkjslkj;lkjsf

I was bored all the way through both movies and kept checking the time to see how much was left. Let me repeat that: I was BORED. In Full Metal Alchemist!

On the positive side, um.....

Ryosuke Yamada was basically the perfect choice to play Ed. He really nailed the character, and had some great expressions and deliveries that brought out Ed's personality without making it too cartoony and over-the-top (and I'm pretty sure that the problems I have with timing are more a fault of the director, rather than the actor)

I actually really enjoyed the scene where Ed and Al have their little confrontation about Al's soul being fake; it was new material, but 100% in-character, and full of the brotherly love that is at the heart of FMA

Nina is adooooorable :'3

Selim is also possibly the cutest little boy I've ever seen in my life; super hard to imagine him as a Homunculus, but that's kind of the point

props to them for the attention to detail required to recreate some scenes with even the same framing and angles as the manga now if only they'd also managed to recreate the pacing and emotional depth

Uh...yeah, that's all I've got. It really doesn't weigh out the negative side.

Again, if you liked the movies...please, I'm begging you, tell me why! I really want to understand ;_;

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

hiii what does the angela is jane ives reuther mean in ur bio 👀

hiiii🌸💖 thank you for asking anon! I love talking about this topic<2

I've answered this a few times as well as expanded on my theories, so at the end I will explain where more information is.

BASICALLY Terry Ives has one memory of giving birth to her daughter, "Jane" via C-section

and El gets a memory triggered sitting NINA of being birthed vaginally.

This already raises the issue that El is obviously not Jane Ives, but rather that Terry gave birth to a different baby. [this wasn't my find, I believe it was either @/demadogs or @/pinkeoni ]

there are even clues in ST2 that point to this! Terry does not have any reason to believe Kali escaped HNL, so if she was doing all that going out of the way to talk to her daughter who she hasn't seen in thirteen years, why would she send her back to a triggering environment in HNL by herself to fetch Kali? Don't get me wrong, there's a good chance Terry cared about getting the other girl free, but the message was very clear that she wanted El to find a girl who was in the rainbow room, or at the very least to show El the girl in the rainbow room.

so that's where my theory comes in. Terry was either telling El "The blonde one is Jane!" or all that plus "Go find her and bring her home because she's my daughter!"

Even when El says to Terry that she is Jane and that she is home, Terry verbally says "No." which is not part of her normal pattern, but rather something she is specifically saying in the moment. No, El is not Jane, and neither El nor Jane is home either.

so that brings us to why Angela specifically is actualy Jane. First of some technical things and then to the clued.

It is most likely that Jane Ives has blonde hair because her mother retained blondeness well into adulthood. If her hair did change from being light blonde, it would take years for the color to be recognizable as even dark blonde, let alone light brown. As an ex-blonde myself, I had a similar color to the toddler Jane from the memory of Terry breaking in to HNL. By the time I was fourteen, El's and Jane's age in 1986, I had dark blonde hair while my blonde peers retained a light blonde color. This would transition to a light brunette by sixteen.

El, on the other hand, has dark brown hair already at age eight. She likely never had blonde hair at all unless her hair quickly changed in infancy, if I'm remembering this right. Either way, age four to age eight is WAY too quick of time to transition to a completely opposite hair color! (@/henrysglock has a few things on the hair color too, as well as hair color as an indication of the timeline split!) Angela on the other hand has light blonde hair at age fourteen, just like Terry would have. There's a similar thing to be said of her eye color, but I honestly haven't paid as closely of attention.

More the conceptual boy! the thing that makes this theory so brain zappy!

"Jane" as a concept represents everything El missed out on. Phrases like "Plain Jane", which means ordinary person, or simply "Jane" being the catchall girl to "Joe"'s catchall boy, and "Jane Doe", an unidentifiable woman, come to mind. "Jane" is femininity, normalcy, popularity, and ease.

Angela represents all of the same things! El is literally copying Angela so she can try and be all those things!

so not only is El copying Angela because Angela has what "Jane" represents- but she is trying to embody a "Jane" persona simultaneously! SHE IS COPYING ANGELA TO BECOME JANE.

There is also alot more to this theory, including Angela parallelig 002, her being obsessed with the "good dad" version of Hopper El speaks of, her appearance being an opposite/shadowself version of El, her name having "Angel" in it, etc.

all that plus some other explanatory posts that go deeper into it (I'll try and link some) can be found in #angela ives, and #angela is jane, plus I've got some more meme-y posts tagged #angieposting, for more fun :3

I hope this answered some of your questions! yes, when I say Angela is Jane, I do mean it literally. Well, not in like a "her name is Jane" way, but in the sense that the baby Terry gave birth to is actually Angela.

If you have any more specific questions or observations feel free to leave them or post in the tags obviously, I love hearing new input on my fave theory!!

(oh yeah and it's kind of intertwined with timeline theory, so Angela and El are alt timelines of eachother as well. there's more on that in a whole other post though)

IMPORTANT LINK NO. 1

I'm on the hunt for a few others

[anbubisibuna]

My Das Haus Anubis Season 2 Review:

So this has been in my drafts for weeks and I just forgot about it. It's a mess.

Things I liked :

Almost every scene with Mara and Magnus together. They were the only couple that convinced me. I really liked seeing them doing those things for eachother and being there for one another. And them saying that they loved eachother. They are the only couple I buy their love.

Mara and Magnus' first kiss. For the standard of the show it was really great also in comparison to the others. Because I only saw that true love soulmate kiss with them. It was the most feelings involved. I also like how they slowly pull away and then look at eachother to realize what they did. The others also weren't good imo.

How after Mara got together with Magnus she only had eyes for him, her person. It was so cute. And she did look more in love with him than ever with Kaya.

The Benny storyline until Nina kissed him. It was fun to sub. Also because of the music and there seemed to be less talking. I LOVED that Benny came during the time there where problems with Mara and Magnus because he couldn't tell her what was going on. And even then she wasn't flirting with Benny like Nina did. I mean with Nina and Daniel everything was fine right before he came and she still cheated. It just was proof how strong their relationship is and Mara would never do something like that to Magnus. And with Nina and Daniel if they ever had any struggles, idk how they will pull it through. And Nina kind of just seemed to push Daniel very easily away. Because Idk it seemed like Benny wasn't there for long until Nina risked their relationship which does make it worse kind of. ( Also kind of unrealistic.) And I counted the days. I don't know if they are really canon because the timeline is pretty messed up.

Day One Daniel writes Nina a secret letter that he loves her. Which she doesn't receive. Benny comes at the same say and later in the evening Nina sees him for the first time in the coffin and thinks he's cute. Nothing too bad.

Day Two. The next morning Benny is making breakfast Nina is openly starring at him. After school Benny flirts with Nina at the girls floor and later before she goes in the cellar. And she looks like she's very smitten. A bit too much. That night she dreams about Benny kissing him.

Day Three. Nina is shocked about her dream. The next morning she and Benny accidently touch fingers. At school she fainted because she can't handle Benny. ( Which also made me thinking. Did they seriously sold Nina and Daniel as the main couple but then have Nina faint because she was so attracted to him. ) Benny " saves" her and later they flirt together on the couch. In the evening Nina decides to go to the cinema with Benny where later when they come home they almost kiss. ( Their lips where kind of slightly touching already)

Day Four Nina is flirting more openly with Benny. She has later an argument with Daniel. In the evening Benny and her kiss.

Day Five the next morning Nina is avoiding Benny. Her grandma got worse. Daniel is there gor her but later breaks up with her.

Day Six the Camping Trip. Nina writes Daniel an apology letter he forgives her. She gets kidnapped. In the evening Daniel and Delia try to visit her.

How after a while Mara starts noticing Radus weird relationship with Magnus aswell.

Victor being a dumbass. And not finding the secret room until the end. He's such an entertaining character. Haha.

Kayas character got like after the storyline with his sister pretty great. The fact that he forgives Max for not actually apologizing to him. Is really great of him. I also like how his always there for Daniel. He's a great friend.

Victor trying to play Raven at the beginning but failing at it. And Raven calling him Victor Emanuel Rodemer all the time. And overall their relationship.

That Magnus after a while learned how to manipulate Radus aswell. He's probably smarter than Victor and Raven haha

Daphne. She's a complete bitch. But I like how the actress played her. In this really flirty way kinda. She's was kind of funny at times especially when she tried to kill Mara and covered it up.

Magnus apologizing to Felix at the end. That was so cute. And I really loved that.

Magnus character development. From still being slightly greedy at the beginning of the Season to doing a really selfless act in the end of the Season when he locked Raven behind the secret wall. Because from his point of view it looked like he was just leaving his father to die. He still had some tiny little faith in Raven after all of this. And second he didn't know the Club was doing all this to save Nina's grandma. So him doing the right thing because he didn't want to betray them anymore. By that time he did believe that he would suffer more at the end when he did that.

Delia in general. She was truly shining in this season. Love how creative and clever she is.

The unprofessionalism of the nurses is beyond belief. And it was hilarious. What nurse leaves a choking dying patient alone just get a doctor? There are emergency calls. And how the just give Victor a colonic Irritation without his consent. I would sue the whole hospital if they did this to me.

Felix and Delia together or Luzy and Felix together it was a fun combo.

Daphne and Radus relationship. It was really interesting. I don't know if Radus may loved bombed her in the beginning and that's why she fell for him because she was desperately looking for love. I'm really interested to know how their relationship began. But I think there is alot of dependency on Daphnes part. Both are pretty messed up and they haven't healed their inner child.

The whole scene of Magnus stealing the grail was really funny. First, why on earth was he doing those Ninja moves? Did he fall on his head or something? Omg. imagine Mara came out of her room and saw him doing that shit. That's going to be her boyfriend in the future. And he says the others are crazy. I mean she already knows that he is insane. And second Victor. I don't know, doesn't he have a Pajama? But just the fact that he came in his usual clothing made me laugh so hard and also that none of the other kids decides to stand up. It's like the actor himself didn't even bother to get changed.

The kind of weirdly sexual relationship between Radus and Victor. There was too much sexual tension between them. Radus doesn't touch his wife like Victor.

I really liked Mara and Magnus building their trust during their relationship. Of course it wasn't helpful that Magnus had to lie to her. But it was either he endangers her or he lies to her. So I don't count that as " lying or ruining her trust" because he wasn't doing it for selfish reasons. Also that Mara didn't give him a reason not to trust him already in the beginning of the relationship. I think that made it easier for him aswell to open up. If Mara had something with Benny, he probably wouldn't get over it. And me neither. Idk if they would still be my favourite ship, but a part would be tainted.

Nina and Daniels weird date in the garden. I mean it was kind of cringe. And pretty forced how they just have to push them from friends to Lovers. But also kind of funny. How they didn't see the headphones. Delia and Kaya not being able to control themselves to not flirt with eachother. Delia talking about the Club, Kaya being there as well and not giving a shit.

Eventhough I think they were a bit rushed; I liked scenes of Charlotte and Luzy together and Luzy not wanting Charlotte to start something with Kaya.

I like Felix helping Mara and Magnus when they have problems. I like the dynamic of the three.

The tasks were fun at times and entertaining.

Amneris being there for Mara.

Things I didn't like:

Nina and Daniels Drama before they got together. I usually like slow-burn. But they just don't have any chemistry. I never saw any moments of like wanting to kiss eachother. I know this is common behaviour for teenagers. So I don't blame them for that. But I still found them annoying. And the first episodes where so hard to sub mainly to that. I was so glad when they were finally together. Not because I ship them, but because their whole drama was finally over.

Luzy whole crush on Kaya. Made no sense at all. I'm not sure if they did it to add more drama until Luzy and Max get together or because they had to use Kaya somehow as he's barely useful in Season 2 and they didn't want viewers to forget about him.

The whole thing with Delias scarf. I'm glad it didn't took too long. But why does Magnus know the scarf is from Delias father but Mara doesn't,? Mara isn't new like Noa in HHA. It also made no sense that she didn't know that Delia and Magnus disliked eachother. She knows that.

Nina's Jealousy kind of annoyed me with the Physics test. I'm not saying she's not allowed to be jealous. She's is allowed to feel whatever she wants. Those are her feeling and they are valid. But after that thing with Benny? And ESPECIALLY how she cheated on Daniel. Because she didn't even look like she cared about Daniel. And it's him who has comfort her and make her trust him. Eventhough it should have been the opposite. Realistically Nina should have gone out of her way to make Daniel trust him after her short infidelity.

Nina and Daniel having to kiss after Tut and Amneris got reunited. This was absolutely not a moment for them. They had one in the last Season Finale. Wasn't that enough?

Mostly the Club scenes. It was a struggle subbing them. They are such boring characters. Especially Nina and Daniel. However I like the Club the most in Season 2.

Benny lying to Nina that he was her boyfriend after he found out she lost her memory. I mean wtf is his problem? He should have just left then. The story is done. It also was bad so Daniel had to fight for her. Didn't really like that. And if she thought he was her boyfriend the kiss in the washroom wasn't the only one. But that doesn't count as it wasn't consensual. Anyways that whole thing was so messy yuck. I'm glad it wasn't Mara and Magnus. And it also seemed like Nina and Benny briefly dated or something. Because Daniel said something that Nina dumped Benny. But Benny should have been sued. No matter what Nina didn't deserve to be lied to after losing her memory.

What I would have done differently:

That if they broke Mara and Luzy's friendship apart or made them more distance that they did it differently. That Luzy could be pissed that Mara doesn't care that Linn doesn't come back and she's all about Kaya. Charlotte already comes then which makes Mara move in the attic much earlier. And Lotte and Luzy become friends then and not through this love and first sight kind of bs. But Luzy and Mara would later still be friends in S2.

That Mara and Kaya broke up sooner. Like it didn't even look like they were in a relationship anymore. Also Mara was pretty MUCH flirting with Magnus and way to close to him. In the park she even almost kissed him. I didn't care that much about Kaya around that time and neither do I believe that he loved Mara but he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. So I did wish that atleast she had the girlballs to break up with him. I'm glad she apologized to him later.

A scene of Magnus and Kaya talking it out. There seem to friends still. I never saw Magnus apologizing or anything. Then again after Mara came back it was like as if Mara and Kaya never dated. And Magnus apologizing would also be kind of weird if he starts dating Mara later. But I think they probably had a short conversation off screen. Or Kaya just realised how serious they were and that he didn't love Mara anyways.

Charlotte and Kaya had potential. But they really did them dirty. Charlotte liking him first without actually knowing him was a bad choice. It also made no difference for Kaya that maybe for once a girl likes him for who he is and not just his looks.

Nina and Daniel should have atleast broken up longer after the Benny thing. And also they did it alot worse than in HHA. But the same time their reconciliation was identical. And after they come from the hospital where Daniel breaks up. Nina doesn't even apologise to Daniel. Nienke does. And also Daniel says sorry to Nina for not being able to be with her anymore. But then again them getting together like a day after it was probably better for me while subbing. Because if they didn't there would be even more drama. But it's not very healthy imo. It would make sense that Daniel has some pent up resentment towards her. He does seem like the type of person who does that.

That Magnus told kind of said that he was also working with Raven because he was threatening him and Mara. He did it to get his father out of prison too But the guy also made sure that his father would stay in there longer and be assaulted. They don't really acknowledge that he was being emotionally abused. And it wasn't really easy for him to just not believing Raven wouldn't help him anymore.

Luzy could have still helped in the second part. She still did first part. And she managed to juggle the Club and the schoolnewspaper back then. And it didn't seem to make sense why she suddenly was so uninterested in it.

I wish we got to know more about Maras family background and her and Magnus talking about it. But I do think they talked about offscreen and Mara during that was probably too scared to do so.

Maybe show how it came to the Kaya and Charlotte kiss at the end. And how it seems like they are dating. Because they ate Falafel together and now they like eachother? ( Ugh... why did they do so many couples so terrible this Season? 😭 And then they just messed up Mara and Magnus in the movie. Did the writers smoke crack or something? )

Random:

Kaya really was kind of useless. And sometimes it felt like they did some storylines that were unnecessary. Just so Kaya is kind of relevant. The first one would be the whole MaraxMagnus and Kaya thing. Which was like from Ep 15-30 or something. Kaya didn't love Mara or make any sense why those two are still together. And then of course Charlotte's crush on Kaya. She can find him attractive, but the way she idolised him. And then the whole Benny thing. I mean liked the storyline in DHA. But it was pretty useless. But it also gave Kaya something to do. From Ep 45- 66 or something. And then right after we have Luzy believing for some damn reason that Kaya is her secret admirer. Again makes no sense at all. And this is from Ep 67-90 or something.

The motivation between Nienke and Nina with the Jimmy/Benny thing really felt different. I skipped alot in between those episodes. Nienkes main motivation does mainly look like because she was scared to choose Fabian fully bit she still clearly loved him. With Nina it was kind of like she had problems with Daniel as a person and that she was bored of him. It did made more sense in DHA than in HHA imo. Jimmy isn't even good looking and Fabian isn't boring. I don't excuse in DHA. But atleast I can sort of explain why Nina did it, because she was bored of Daniel and because he has zero passion. She intiates like 90% of the kisses and he just stands there like a statue.

Daniel is doesn't really care about Kaya. Like I know Magnus has been a pretty shitty friend to Felix but that gets acknowledged. Kaya is always there for Daniel when he has issues with Nina and Daniel just isn't. He doesn't even seem to give a shit that Mara cheated on him with Magnus or comfort him atleast when the two start to date. And then when the two wanted to go camping it seemed like it would be more of a distraction for Daniel because of his damn relationship problems with Nina. Eventhough Kaya at this moment had it worse. But did Daniel actually care about that? Of course not. And then of course he also helped Daniel to find Nina's letter about Benny. And not to forget how Kaya was there and supported Daniel during his Pugna Physica. Which I doubt that Daniel actually shows any interest in Kayas sport events. I know what Max did with Kayas sister was wrong. But atleast he showed some general interest in him as a person.

Nina and Daniels chemistry gets worse the next season. And Daniel shows even less passion in the relationship if that is even possible. That's something I still remember.

I had to remind myself at times that Magnus is technically still a kid , so Raven doing business with him was so weird. This dude is like 40 and doing business with some 16 year old. And top of that was kind of able to play Raven at times too. He is of course less creepy than HHA Raven. But he's still kind of creepy too. Especially when he just followed Magnus into the showers one time.

My favourite to sub was the Halloween Episode. Not just just it's a MaraxMagnus Episode. But also there was alot of music in between. Another is the Finale. Again filled with lots music.

Nina got alot better in second half. She still wasn't my fave. But she was alot more likable and seems to be more involved. And there her motivations seems to be alot stronger there.

The first couple days I was doing like 5 episodes per day. ( no joke). I wanted the first 20 episode to be done as quick as possible. I didn't really enjoy those episodes to be honest. So I just thought I had to get through it. Some were still really nice though.

Again. I do think Mara and Kaya should have broken up before she kissed Magnus. But we all know they didn't. She was already locking lips with Magnus in a Public restroom for about 10 seconds while still being with Kaya. And I honestly think that whole story after, was quite underwhelming. You tell me that absolutely nobody gives a shit that Mara who was "lucky" to date the most popular guy in school. Suddenly went to a guy who isn't very popular. Really they are not shocked or in disbelief? They just take it as it is and move on? I'm not saying they should hate on her. But moving a few episodes forward to when Kaya interrupts Luzy on her date with Max. And he's about to tell the whole school. This makes him look like he has some sort of idk how to say it, respect or is responsible for someone's reputation. But then again absolutely nobody giving a shit that Mara is now dating Magnus kind of makes that doubtful and that he is in fact not that important at all. But Luzy in that scene makes it look like he is.

It's really kind of obvious how Mara really needs to be touched to feel loved. And Kaya just isn't doing that. Like at all. He always just sits there. And he doesn't even seem to be interested in her. (It's so bad. The scene in the kitchen. It's so damn terrible.) It does make sense why she ended up touching Magnus so much. I'm glad she got together with him then who does show alot of physical affection. And Kaya later on gets with Charlotte who doesn't seem to have a problem a lack of physical affection. Just an assumption. So everything is fine.

Luzy and Max were kinda weird. Because upon receiving the letters she didn't even seem to like him. And then they don't even spend time with eachother. And then boom after he kissed her she dreams about him for some reason and then after some drama starts dating him. How is that true love between them? Are they serious?

Kaya should have gotten with someone who just doesn't find him amazing at first glance. Because he still believes he some gift from the gods and that doesn't really change with Charlotte. Because he treats Mara even worse than Mick does around that time. (OK. Mick almost kissed Amber.) But aside from that Mick seemed to try atleast and show interest in her, where Kaya just walks aways rolls his eyes or whatever.

Another thing I don't get how they made the cheating with Benny and Nina so romantic. I mean I get why they made it like that with Mara and Magnus when she waa still with Kaya. But with Nina and Daniel? lol. They play this romantic music when Nina is about to cheat on Daniel. Nina and Daniel are supposed to be the main couple and then they create this romantic scenes with another dude when she's still with Daniel. And I don't get either why they make Nina act so bratty. Do they want us to dislike her? Her cheating was really uh... yikes. I don't think on how she cheated is a sign of them starting a healthy relationship. And at times I was also thinking if she completely lost her mind or something? Does she have any awarness? I mean after the cinema they were so close to kiss their noses where already touching eachothers faces. Is she lost or something? How didn't she feel any guilt and was still to Daniel in the next morning like : " Yeah I would have liked if you where there." And then when Daniel confronted she was pissed that she didn't kiss him. But hours before she was doing her make up along with the other girls in the bathroom to impress Benny. I'm sorry if I say that but if I were Daniel I wouldn't want a girlfriend like her. As a friend yes but not as a partner. I also don't understand how Daniel just blindly trust her again after that. She doesn't even do shit for him in the relationship. It's always about her problems and her issues. I would have liked it if there was some work rebuilding that trust. Even if Daniel did forgive her the next day. But she still betrayed his trust. And just idk don't really like how he just trusts her fully again for no reason. I mean what if the next hot guy comes along? Their relationship probably would have been more meaningful and they would have a closer emotional connection if they worked through that. They don't have to share big scenes but just some small scenes. Instead their relationship is so shallow and empty. Or Daniel having a hard time going in the washroom for some time because he imagines Nina and Benny there. If they did this storyline with Benny, which was even if I liked it useless. Atleast they could have used it go form a deeper relationship between them or try to.

The thing with Charlotte and Kaya in the end and their kiss was very rushed. You could kind of tell that the writers wanted to put everyone together and so by the end they didn't have much time anymore and just quickly squeezed them in.

The writers themselves seem to have different definitions of true love. With Nina and Daniel it's just there, with doubts, jealousy cheating etc. But also with other people saying how great they are together with the innocent puppy love. With Mara and Magnus it's like getting to know eachother, becoming better people, become emotionally vulnerable, building trust, support and helping eachother. And talking it out after misunderstandings. With Charlotte and Kaya it's like Charlotte finding him hot and wanting to get into his pants. With Luzy and Max it's like, Max writing her secret letters. Her feeling something when he kisses her before she even got to know him as a person and hung out with him. I mean seriously Luzy and Charlotte were better than those three couples. ( I think you know which three I mean)

[me-uglypretty]

Wasn't there some bits of their relationship having issues nearing the end? (I'm not sure I remember cause I haven't done my rewatch yet for this year)// Just joining the convo (hoping you don't mind or find this annoying). I don't remember properly bc the timeline was a little bit messy and we jump from one event to another. I think they had a rocky relationship towards the end bc leigh wanted him to write the comic but i don't recall when he started seeing nina and at which point he tried to start something with her, even just by thought or when he told danny. Like in season 1 we see that during summer he changes the antidepressants, tries to exercise and does the comic.. then the hiking thing happens so i'm assuming the nina thing was before that summer during the school time? but then he went on summer and he stayed with leigh and i don't recall their relaitonship being bad? maybe it was meant to be explored in season 3 and we got to see if he went all the way down with nina but i think dany would've known? i'm so frustrated with the lack of answers bc there's so much potential.

About the danny thing i would like to add my two cents. I think leigh was using him to feel close to matt ,which was awful of her (love her and i understand her pain but using him was not cool)... however i think there was something between them since the very beginning... maybe it was attraction or just a product of grief and despair but i think danny's animosity towards her and how she was acting with him and wanting to stay in touch shows that while she wasn't in love, she cared about danny.. it was doomed and they were never meant to be together (i wanted leigh +girlfriend and danny+black woman) but if i couldn't get those i wouldn't mind to see them together at some point

It's totally cool to join in! cause we need to talk more about sfyl.

I think S3 was meant to reveal more of all this? Since we only got like a bit of the Nina thing, then the sudden seeing/dreaming of her husband. Like it’s so weird, why she’s getting all this signs. But I feel like there's too many layers of Matt, that's it's easy for him to pretend? and for Leigh to just not see pass it.

Though, I’d like to see them tell Leigh’s story than her trying to remember back things and being told things about her husband.

AGREED. Danny was a rebound + that was during Leigh’s “I’m gonna fuck which ever man I desire” era. Honestly, Danny must had felt some kind of attraction towards her (and jealous? with the whole, how did his brother find someone like Leigh who’s the total opposite). I think Leigh needs a good therapy and not latch on to whatever last memory she has of her dead husband, cause that’s what happened with Danny. It makes me wonder if she imagined it was her husband when they were together since he’s the closest to him that she could ever get.

I’m petitioning for Leigh x Girlfriend then another man. I’ve watched enough shows to know what they’ll do but if S3 happens, I need Leigh to figure out that she should date woman instead.

[tigger8900]

The Nobodies, by Alanna Schubach

⭐⭐⭐ 1/2

Nina and Jess are the closest of friends, sharing a secret: simply by touching their foreheads together, they can swap their consciousnesses, each inhabiting the other's body until they choose to swap back. After a falling-out in senior year of high school drives them apart, they reconnect in their 20s, quickly beginning to share their adult lives in the same way they had as children. But what are the consequences of two souls intertwining in such a way as to become one indivisible pair?

This is a heartbreaking story about the wonders and horrors of deep friendship. I'm not really sure how much I can say about it without spoiling the plot, only that the relationship between Nina and Jess felt so horribly authentic to me. The instinctive pulling together, the constant blurring of boundaries(should you have them? can you?), the hurt recoil as you go too far again, and again and...it almost hit too close to home. For those of us who've had the experience of being on one side of an ampersand, one half of a pair that can only be considered as a unit, this novel is familiar and the final confrontation inevitable. Neither character is likeable. Both are flawed and behave badly, repeatedly. But none of it is pointless cruelty. Everything comes from a need, whether it's fallout from childhood trauma, a desire to be loved, or even just a misguided attempt to love another. Check content warnings before reading, because this goes to some dark places. I liked the way the story followed two timelines, one when they were 9-17 and another when they were around 25-30. I also appreciated Schubach's exploration of Nina's Jewish culture, while at the same time being disappointed that we didn't get anything of the same for Jess's Mexican culture. I did notice that Nina never experienced any on-page racism while inhabiting Jess's body, only noting that Nina-as-Jess was seen as beautiful and desirable. Maybe the author wasn't comfortable with the subject matter(fair), but it stuck out to me as a notable omission to not acknowledge it being a thing at all, especially given context around the sexualization of latinas. The other thing that bothered me was that I sometimes found myself struggling to follow the narrative when the two were body-swapped. But the fault lies not with the book(it was consistent in using the name corresponding to the consciousness, rather than the physical body), but rather with my own reading attention. I also believe it was deliberate in a way, throwing the reader off-kilter and blurring the line between the two characters. So, read carefully! I can't quite bring myself to give this one four stars. I think this might be a fault on my end rather than the book's, part of the visceral reaction I had to the subject matter. Elevating it from an "it was alright"+ to an "it was good" is a mental step that I just can't take right now. This book makes me need a therapist.

[nabrizoya]

honestly would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the nikolai duology because i really only see blanket praise or blanket hate for it whereas I see a lot of wasted potential. Bardugo's actual writing was beautiful as ever for the most part, but the choice of the plot/beats feels baffling to me. I love Nina, but her parts felt so separate from the rest of the book until the very end, and even that felt off. I liked the first 2/3 of KoS enough, dealing with the monster, political tensions, 1/2

and even the cult of the starless saint was at least interesting because dealing with people trying to rewrite the narrative of their greatest enemy (who hurt these young leaders in deeply PERSONAL ways) was really compelling (making him literally come back was. a choice) but I feel like somewhere in the last third, KoS went in a wholly differeent direction, and RoW has this vibe of feeling like she definitely wrote it after reading the show scripts or even seeing some footage. idk. 2/2

I will try to be brief (1/12)

Hey anon! Thank you so much for asking this even though it took 38756588247834 years to answer this I’m so sorry !! The Nikolai duology was good—wonderful too maybe because of the myriad of themes and topics it discussed and explored, all in addition to how beloved these characters are. For me, it’s the end of KoS as it is for you, and the entirety of RoW in particular that irk me the most.

I have very little issue with KoS, and I agree with everything you’ve said. The political tensions, the sort of urgency in trying to secure a country at the cost of personal reservations, preparing for a war that seems unforgivably near the door, etc. was all thrilling. After all, it is the first installment in the duology, and it’s supposed to set the course for the upcoming books.

KoS managed to introduce the stakes and the circumstances, lay the rails for what the characters will face and what it might mean to a vast set of entities connected to the events. And it’s hardly out of sense to expect Rule of Wolves to pick up where the previous book left off and carry forward the themes and plot points introduced in the first book.

Except, RoW failed spectacularly in that aspect.

Rule of Wolves: the second book, and the supposed finale to the Grishaverse and the Nikolai duology; it fails to continue the other number of threads that KoS set up for it, effectively compromising the characters, their characterizations, the themes and other political tensions and stakes. The due importance that should be given to the heavy set of topics that get brought up in the povs are not through, nor are the small details that Leigh added to the conversations evolve into something worth talking about, which are the actual points that could have been given some more page time to explore than just making them facts or points of nostalgia for the characters.

If you take a step back and analyze the whole timeline, events, characterization, objectives of the arcs and the plot points etc. etc., all the way from Crooked Kingdom to Rule of Wolves, there’s so much that is left out and tied in, quite haphazardly, which leads me to believe that Leigh wanted to attempt writing a duology that is more plot-driven than it is character driven. And we know that Leigh writes character driven stories brilliantly, and SoC, CK and TLoT are testament to the same. Heck, even TGT has more consistency than whatever TND has.

So, objectively? Plot possibilities? Characterization? Potential? Personal goals? Addressing the very serious themes it brought up, in little or major light, but give no proper elaboration about them?

The lost potential readily compromised the characterizations of many characters, and it all amounted to their arcs being very underwhelming.

I’m dividing this into four parts and here’s the basic outline.

Writing and Plotting

The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Remedy (what I think would've worked better to tie this all up)

This can get very looong, so be forewarned.

I. Writing & Plotting

Now, Leigh Bardugo’s writing is exceptional, no doubt. The sentences are short and flowy, and convey the tone, psyche, environment and the setting and its effects on the pov character marvellously. It's also immersive. It’s the same in Rule of Wolves, except, a little or a lot weaker.

The two main parts of this is that one, that Leigh slightly overdid showing a lot more than telling, and two, that the RoW (and perhaps KoS too), was more plot driven than character driven, the latter of which is actually Leigh’s strength.

In Rule of Wolves, Leigh’s writing seemed very choppy and snappish. The descriptions were lacking, or maybe that’s just me wishing for more internal conflict and dilemma, and going back and forth in one's own head for a bit. It felt like she showed more than she told.

Example being how Zoya ‘snaps’, ‘drawls’, ‘scoffs’, or ‘scowls’ less, and even if that’s supposed to be show Zoya beginning to be a little less unpleasant than she usually is, the tone in those chapters was not strong enough to distinguish how and why the character was acting a certain way. Nor pinpoint an explanation on what brought that change about. (And there were many instances like this with many other characters), which resulted in the characters themselves feeling so off to me.

Leigh’s characters are important to the story. They carry tremendous weight and actively contribute to the plot. Except, by focusing a lot more on the plot, some parts of these characters’ relevance was not up to the mark. It is greatly due to how weak the plotting and pacing of the book was, tbh, more than just her writing.

Consider: Mayu Kir Kaat. She is integral to the story, but she is thrust into responsibilities, and that doesn’t give us much time to see her as a person, and then as a person with a duty, like we see with most other characters. Whatever parts of her we did see were very circumstantial and timed, which is probably the reason why not many we’re unable to appreciate Mayu as much as we should. (Maybe fandom racism also plays a part, so, well,,,).

Like, we know from Six of Crows and with The Language of Thorns, how great care went into describing the characters’ state of mind, which further heavily influenced their choices and decisions. This time though, I think she wanted it to be more plot driven, hence the whole crowded feeling of the book and general worry about oh my god too much is happening, how will all this be solved and all that.

And this, I think, greatly hampered Leigh's writing, leading to unsettling and rather unsatisfying character arcs. Not to mention that there was quite little space given for the characters to develop or let them grow in a satisfying way which touches on most of the elements and themes that get brought up with regard to their powers and potential,,, and when it was indeed brought up, it was all in vain since they were never followed through.

That's one of the biggest problems for me in RoW: Plot points brought up in KoS were not brought forward in RoW.

II. The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Phew. Truly buckle up because this train has too many coaches. And to discuss them all, let’s keep the starting point as Crooked Kingdom.

a) Parem

Now, by the end of Crooked Kingdom, we know some important things about the parem.

It's dangerous asf for the Grisha who have to sacrifice their will and capabilities for a short time superpower high that they didn’t even ask for

Which means they are more often than not forced to consume the drug

Shu Han is the creator of the Parem and are also creating a new kind of soldiers called Khergud (who additionally require Ruthenium, but we’ll talk abt that later)

Fjerda snatched the formula after kidnapping Bo Yul-Bayur, keeping him away in the Ice Court and in their possession, and used the Parem to further their own heedlessly heinous agenda

I think it’s easy to understand how KoS started off on the right track, considering that Kuwei Yul Bo is mentioned, the antidote and jurda is brought up and so come the political tensions alongside it (what with the impending war, the demon, the lack of funds in the coffers and security and peace for the country alongside safety for the Grisha).

The point is, parem is a character of its own. CK was its inception, and its fate was decreed along with its lifespan and its doom. Ideally, by the end of RoW, parem should have been vanquished while addressing its nature as a deadly drug, the addiction and aftermath, and the key person who will guide the plot: Kuwei Yul Bo.

Parem is a political tool that pitted countries against each other, making one another their allies or enemies. (Though parem is not the only one factor). Ravka doesn’t yet know about Kerch’s neutrality. The Shu made their move to assassinate in the end, just as Fjerda cleared the air about their goals.

Point is, parem is weapon, a new kind of warfare that keeps getting alluded to in KoS. The first book gave a glimpse of how the Shu and Fjerda are using parem, thereby exploiting, prejudicing etc. the Grisha in their countries. Khergud whose humanity is washed away with parem + ruthenium, and the Fjerdan Grisha (are targeted) drugged and exploited while be subjected to torture, training and imminent death, parametres of these outcomes being severely gendered.

Ravka too wanted to weaponize it and create a usable strain that would still give the Grisha their powers but at a minimal cost, until Nikolai’s conversation with Grigori convinces him out of it and to use only the antidote for the Grisha.

And when are the contents of this conversation brought up again?

Never.

Another aspect of parem (that the conversation also covers) is this: that what was once merzost, parem is its strange cousin. Parem parallels breaking the bounds of Grisha norms unnaturally, while merzost takes it a step further to break the bounds of nature itself, which comes with a heavy price. They're both the same with little differences. Amplifiers are in tune with this discussion, hence the conversation between Zoya and Nikolai about how, and whether or not the abomination in him, the parem, and the amplifiers are tied together. This gets brought up again in the conversation with Grigori.

Parem parallels the superpowers, something that Zoya too manages to achieve once the corruption of the amplifier business is resolved, which makes her realize how in tune with nature the Grisha must be, and how limited the Grisha powers until then had been. And why the amplifiers were a corrupted piece of magic.

Zoya was supposed to be the conduit in that sense that she reversed the Grisha norms and understood the importance and nature of small science. This is alongisde parem getting abolished or resolved in the least, be given a redressal.

Yet instead in RoW, we barely see any of Zoya’s powers, nor even her experimentation and hunger for power which would give her protection. We don't see how she begins to realize that while power was indeed protection, it was also a responsibility. Not clearly, anyway.

So like, not only is this entire discussion thrown away in Rule of Wolves, but no matters are resolved either. Parem did not reach its end like it was supposed to. Merzost with regard to parem would have been an excellent thing to address, with or without the Darkling being present, because the blight is there. But that doesn’t happen.

What happens instead? We get one chapter of Grisha getting the antidote during the face off at the start of the book, the women in Fjerda are not brought up again and instead we jump to Shu Han. Kuwei is also conveniently forgotten because hey, the Zemeni are here so it’s all sorted!

RoW could have (should have actually) sought to address both the political and medical (?) aftermath and implications. Maybe it did succeed in showing the political side of it, with regard to Mayu, Ehri, Makhi and Tamar’s storylines. But that’s only in Shu Han, whose state of affairs we had NO idea of until RoW. No idea, so much that it was completely out of the blue.

And what we did know (get to know about in KoS) is Fjerda and the affairs there remained… unsolved.

(...sorry).

b) Grisha Powers

Re: From the conversation between Nikolai and Grigori, and Juris and Zoya, about how parem and the amplifiers are parallel to each other in terms of being abominations, a corruption of Grisha powers. Now the theory of it is not entirely explained, but we do know that the parem and whatever Zoya learnt from Juris was meant to move along in the same direction.

But we don't see another mention of it, except maybe we could dig a little deeper and realize that it all adds up because Zoya is the Grisha Queen of Ravka, Summoner, Soldier, Saint, all of it rushed and unnecessarily magical in a war so dire and realistic in RoW.

Welp.

c) Spy business

Just… genuinely what even was Nina up to in RoW? A spy, sure, but only to garner information on the pretender?

Why couldn’t there have been two responsibilities for her to uncover: the lies or truths about the pretender while the Apparat causes hindrances, and Nina trying to seek out more documents of the locations and labs where the Grisha women are being tormented and the other Grisha being weaponized? It could have been a leverage to discredit Fjerda in front of everybody in the Os Kervo scene. Imagine if Nina whipped out the documents of Grisha labs and brought the truth of the exploitation and killing and kidnapping etc. in front of the convention of all nations. All of it together would have upped the political tensions by quite the notch.

Even then, there’s a possibility that it wouldn’t matter either because the Grisha aren’t exactly valuable to all the nations. But killing and exploiting is still wrong so maybe it might have worked? Or see, even if it wouldn’t have, the slow and sluggish realization of Mila’s identity by Brum, and alongside writing it as a tragedy where Nina’s efforts seem to have gone to waste, or where Nina is telling Zoya about not accounting for Prince Rasmus’ word and she informs her about the documents she has snatched? Something could have been done here?

The point is, KoS focused on Fjerda and its unraveling, and it wasn’t continued with and through in Rule of Wolves. Instead it sought to find the problem in a whole new country, Shu Han, and fixed it within the same book leaving the other country as it is.

d) Ruthenium and the Blight

Ruthenium, the metal that is an alloy of regular metal and Grisha made steel, could have been utilized more significantly in the books.

I mention it in association with the blight because while on one hand it is true that the blight is an area full of nothingness, ruthenium as a metal could have been utilized to show the effects of rushed industrialization that is leading to the ground losing its essence. This is supposed to be advanced warfare after all. Besides, Makhi loses someone very dear to her. Perhaps ruthenium is more dangerous in Shu Han because the Shu use it to create the khergud, so the constant manufacturing of it has been leading to the metal leeching the lands of their fertility, along with the blight.

And so also to broker peace, Ravka could have provided aid in some ways. :

1) The Darkling sacrificed himself, as a result of which the blight vanishes. While the blight took away her niece, the possibility of a blight persisting despite the ending of RoW could be attributed to ruthenium.

2) Ravka could provide the reversing effect to the alloy of ruthenium and metal using Grisha and otkazt’sya engineering and ingenuity to replenish the lands.

All in addition to whatever will be Shu Han’s policies to bring lushness to their lands.

e) Women and War:

Holy fucking Shit, where do I start with this?

Whatever we saw in Fjerda was haunting, and we see it from Nina’s chapters. There’s literally no resolution for it, nor is it ever brought up again, at all. In Zoya’s chapters, we see through her eyes the brunt that Grisha faced with the war, and in a country that has refused to recognize Grisha as the citizens and considers them expendable.

Add to it her own narrative of how the women are never mentioned, let alone the ones that she has lost or has known to suffer, at the hands of the war, at the Darkling's torture and powers. The description of these women suffering, often being forgotten and thrown aside as mere casualties… where or when was it ever going to be brought up again?

Like, switching between such horrifying things happening in Fjerda to whatever was happening with Zoya and Nikolai and Isaak is such a contrast, horrifyingly demeaning and insulting, even more so when it failed to align with the importance of parem and offer a solution to both these problems.

Now switch to Rule of Wolves, where the Tavgahard women immolate themselves on Queen Makhi’s orders. Not only is that such a cheap and insensitive thing to do, it gets treated a simple fucking plot point in the book, and it barely gets addressed afterwards. Women in Asia have a vastly complex and complicated history with fire, and this is a serious criticism that culturally affects readers in personal ways. And what gets done about it? Fine, Zoya feels baaaad, sorry oops why would the women do that?!?!?

Where is the adequate sensitivity to the topic? Where is the continuation of the pain Zoya feels for many people, despite them being the enemy? How does she honour them? Where is all that dilemma and pain? Why does she not think of them or just get a line or two to talk about them?

Where is the due importance for this suffering given? Structurally and culturally?

f) Soldier, Summoner, Saint / Yaromir the Great

We never really get any explanation for why Zoya deserves to be the Queen, and why she is the best. But we do get to see why Nikolai isn’t the one supposed to be on the throne, and it’s not just because of his parentage but also because of his failings and doubts and the need for acceptance with the secrets he carried.

Here's the thing though; it’s not just about her showing mercy. It’s very subtle, and in good sense, should actually have been given a little bit more importance that be loosely brought up at random times.

Keeping aside the fact that Zoya is representative of Ravka—a woman, a Grisha, a Suli girl who changed the course of war and who knew what it was like living in poverty, being as an underprivileged person of the society in addition to the trauma from then and the state of living at her aunt’s place—which is meant to be covertly apparent, the other reason tracks back to Yaromir the First, who with the help of Sankt Feliks of the Apple Boughs—the one who raised the thornwood—lead Ravka at that time into the age of peace.

The Darkling testified that in his POVs, that while Feliks and Yaromir worked in tandem for Ravka, Aleksander worked for safeguarding the Grisha. In one sense, Zoya is supposed to reflect that moment in history in the present moment, except she is Queen and Sankta, and Grisha, all three at once.

It is brought up in one of the Darkling’s POVs and once in the conversation with Yuri in KoS. Other than that, we never actually get any more hints of this explanation in the text, which is the reason why the entire ending felt so so rushed, and like a fever dream, that even if it was a plot twist, it was kinda very baseless when it should have been more ohhhhh sort of a thing.

g) The Starless Cult and Saint Worship

This cult had immense potential to blossom into many things, some of which were indeed touched upon in KoS when Zoya says that she saw a bit of herself in Yuri, and brings up time and again how easily she’d been led and had not been aware enough of what’s right and wrong, just as she supposes Yuri is too. And to some extent, there is truth there, because in the Lives of Saints, we do see why Yrui comes about to hail the Darkling and how it parallels Zoya’s, of being helpless and ten being saved by a different power/ their own power, respectively.

That’s where it forks, that Zoya is older and realizes the path that Yuri has chosen and understands that it won't happen until he realizes it himself because the Darkling’s crimes are so obvious.

Even then, there’s still more potential: This cult could have been the mirror that would make Zoya reflect on the questionable methods of the Darkling, and the ways in which she might be mirroring them, despite or not it is the necessity because of the war. How she is training soldiers too, just as the Darkling did, and while the need to take children away from their homes just as soon as they were discovered Grisha was abolished, it was war, and they needed soldiers.

So like, there’s quite a big narrative going on here, how mere children are pushed into one path of becoming a soldier and the whole system that was that the Darkling followed to train the Grisha and all of that. All of this in addition to the juxtaposition to the Grisha being seen as elite despite them being hunted, and the people who are not Grisha frowning upon them. This is also the work of the Darkling, which actually paves the way to see how there can be a world where the Grisha are not feared or seen as abnormal, despite or not they are given a Saint-like narrative.

This cult could also have been the segue to discussing Yuri and his brainwashing, and the sort of cult-ish behaviour of believing in something firm when you couldn’t believe in yourself, or not seeing the magnitude of the crimes of their supposed Saint, alongside always staying focused on becoming a soldier only and never actually thinking beyond what is told.

Some of these are very subtle and some are brought up, but never given too much of an explanation.

Genya brings up another good point in the funeral chapter, about how Fjerda seemingly taking into the whole Saints thing could mean that if the Darkling moved there, he could very well sprawl his influence there to bring in supporters. Which leads to another discussion that gets brought up towards the end of the book: about Nina telling about the Ravkan Saints to Hanne and therefore to the Fjerdans,,, which doesn’t exactly sit right with me. It’s still a very nascent topic, and I think SoC3 will explore this path of faith and personal beliefs etc. but leaving it just there, while talking so much about Saints in both the countries,,, don’t exactly know how to put it into thoughts here.

But regardless, the cult of the Starless had different potential to talk of (blind) worshipping of an ideal without critically examining why the person must be put on the pedestal in the first place (and if it is simply power, then there is actually a narrative right there, which RoW gets right, about the people valuing the power still, as a result of which the monarchy still persists at the end of RoW. Even then, there’s more discussion awaiting there).

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I’ll leave it at this here for now.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I think what I was trying to say here is that we do not have any kind of narrative evidence to seeing how and why it seems right that the Fjerdans will worship Ravkan Saints; is it merely because they are all Grisha? Or is it because of the segue explore this path of faith and personal beliefs and all of that, of the talk of the monastery and the Grisha there being of all identities, that a monastery is in Shu Han, that it has Djel's sacred Ash tree so far away from Fjerda... much to think about.

III. Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Mostly going to be about Nina and Zoya, but I’ll bunch up the rest of them at the end.

a) Nina

*head in hands*

I severely mourned how poorly Zoya was written in RoW, but then I realized that more than Zoya, it’s Nina whose potential was severely undermined and wasted. On one hand, I’m glad she uses her powers and quick thinking,observation and her own tactics to analyze the population and opt for the best way to make them see the truth she wants to show them (eg: making Leoni and Adrik and Zoya saints and also showing that the Grisha are the children of Djel via people’s belief to Joran and Rasmus’s mother).

But then, it’s like you said; her parts were so offbeat and outpaced and completely disjointed, when in fact, Nina is the thread that ties all the characters, their plotlines and potential, together. Nina is connected to Zoya and Hanne, two equally important characters and main characters of the duology. Whatever scope Nina has, they are greatly in parallel to Zoya and Hanne. And it’s all literally there, in the text! What a waste.

Though keeping aside these parallels, Nina’s own journey from Ketterdam to Ravka to Fjerda, while is spoken about, doesn’t touch some other parts that I see potential in. Or this is just meta.

Nina has grief not just from Matthias’ death but also from the loss of her powers as Heartrender. So much of the Second Army was built on being a soldier, and perhaps the Darkling was not outright disdainful of racial differences in his army, yet he still stripped every part of the children away until they weren’t children anymore in his view. They’re all soldiers… (albeit his soldiers, preparing them to do his bidding because hey, give and take right?). Nina was a soldier, and she is a soldier still under Zoya’s role as a General, but an ‘other’ of a soldier. That’s her only identity, and the loss of her powers means that she’s a different kind of soldier.

I imagine that this entire time, some small part of Nina longed for normalcy, or whatever settled as normal for a life like hers. In the sense that she wants to go back, but what is back and where exactly did she want to go back to? What was the before and after and where did things go wrong or change? There’s tragedy in the realization that whatever you were before what you became is not a place you can return to, and that’s a different kind of loss that she has to bear, and all by herself. She has powers over the dead now, a strange power she learns to grow to, but all the places she has been, all the lives she has led and people she had been, everything might seem like they’ve all been locked away in some strange place leaving her barren and indisposable.

She’s off to Fjerda as someone she isn’t, figuratively and literally. In KoS, Nina brings up many times how odd she feels as Mila and in some capacity longs to be Nina Zenik again. This ties in with the previous point of returning to somewhere, but where?, but is also a segue towards body dysmorphia, the thing that Nina and Hanne’s storylines parallel and connect too with in a small way. It’s a great line to follow to discuss what her discomfort with her body means to herself while it means something entirely different to Hanne, who is also not entirely comfortable being who they are. (This discomfort further which leads to gender dysphoria, while for Nina, it will be about learning to accept her powers. I’ll add on to this in a bit,).

I'm mourning the lost potential of that experience being a parallel to Hanne’s own feelings, of a discussion between people being uncomfortable with their bodies, something that can mean multitudes to each person and on their own accord.

In parallel to Zoya, I like to draw it from the fact about Nina wanting to go back to who she was, while Zoya actively tries to lock her past away and drown it somewhere or throw it to the storm, never to hear of it again. She has no identity other than being a soldier, and that’s enough for Zoya, because who she was before she was a soldier is not pleasant. But moving from being just another expendable shell of soldier under the Darkling’s rule, Zoya becomes the one third of the Triumvirate, and then the King’s general, all of which bring self-awareness of Zoya’s capabilities and challenges that are bound to excite her. But all of these also compel Zoya to be many other people to others as she slowly grows to realize that power is not just protection but also a responsibility, and it will inadvertently mean confronting her past of her lost identity, realizing the how of the Darkling, and how harmful it was. As Genya puts it perfectly in Rule of Wolves, that they were all taken away when they were young kids, not even barely children, and then thrust into responsibilities that didn’t allow them to be anything else other than what the Darkling told them to be.

Back to Nina; a few other great parts about Nina’s arc could have been about her connection to languages, as language being a mode of strengthening identity, in addition to growing to her powers. In RoW, there’s this line that goes ‘how sweet it was to speak her language [Ravkan] again’, and the feeling of homesickness. Like, Nina is trying to connect to Ravka through what she knows best—language, and then stories. In that, Nina realizes a part of her identity, which could also act as a segue to Zoya reclaiming her own heritage and ethnicity. Not only that but Zoya and Nina’s stories are literally so intertwined that it’s hard not to see how their choices and line of thought affect one another’s arcs, in the grief they have and how they choose to treat it, and also show why Zoya is particularly protective of Nina (and keeps wishing that she doesn’t become the monster Zoya had become, in the sense that Nina is more mature in handling her grief than Zoya was and the entire mercy plotline ties Nina, Zoya and even Genya together. More meta, haH).

And that’s why the ending doesn’t make sense. Even though the part about her not being comfortable as Mila is not brought up many times in the continuing chapters (and that’s why perhaps naming Nina’s discomfort as body dysmorphia may be wrong), there’s still the part of Nina readily accepting to be who she was a Mila and remain in Fjerda that seems iffy to me. Especially when Nina and Hanne literally a few chapters ago think about running away (it may be just another alternative they might be fantasizing about, but I think it still means that they both want to be their true selves without hiding any parts of it away). So her staying as Mila… well, it doesn’t exactly add up.

I’d also add the part of Nina’s story mirroring Leoni’s, and how she is from Novyi Zem and being a part of the Second Army meant that she had little to no connection with her past, her culture etc. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part that Leigh went for that arc.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I don't agree with my point anymore about Nina not having the kind of ending I assumed she might have, considering that it is very well possible for Nina to treat her identity as Mila as a fresh start, as a Grisha with a command over the the dead and begin a new normal that is suited for her. You can read more here.

b) Zoya

For one, white passing Zoya is not canon to me. I simply pretend I do not see it.

See, her race was handled very badly. Making her half-Suli was supposed to show the struggles and the trauma that the ridiculing of her identity by other people has caused to her. Except, not enough time nor text is given to thoroughly discuss it. Not to forget how problematic of a narrative in itself it is to make Zoya white passing.

It would have made more sense to make her dark skinned and predominantly Suli-looking than whatever yt bs she was put through. Her not being white-passing would have led to conversations about tokenization, or people caring little about her and not giving her any respect because she is Suli. Or being called beautiful to the face and praised just for it or a harmless tumble in their point of view.

So like, instead of making the ‘mistake’ of seeking for acceptance, seeking appreciation and love, from her mother at first and then the Darkling, Zoya instead makes herself someone to be feared, if respect was not what she deserved. The iciness is a part of her and has always been, but all of it soon became a shield, an armour that she vowed to harden her heart with. Just the sheer impact of this narrative and her reluctance, and seeing Nikolai love her for beyond who she thinks she is… if all of this was canon, I’m pretty sure I’d have built a shrine for this duology.

Let’s now talk about her grief, and...

…

Okay it’s not for me to point fingers at how Leigh chose to write about grief because there’s no one way or one proper approach to go through that pain, and if that’s how she chose to write about grief for Zoya, fine! But I really wish we’d have gotten a little more into her head to see how the trauma has affected her thoughts and how she struggles against why and what exactly it is that Juris wants her to do. That enough time and text was dedicated to Zoya’s feelings and the mayhem it caused her, as a result of which the dragon’s eye took its cue and made things more unbearable to her because she was the only one to bear them all.

Like, I feel like Zoya was overwhelmed throughout the book and in between she had some skyhigh responsibilities to discharge and it’s all so inconsistent and poorly woven,,, it completely dissolved her character from KoS and made it 10000000x more miserable for me to read her POVs. And honestly, what even were her assignments that the Kirkus review mentioned? Never an inch of text in RoW is given to decipher her complications of her mind, the muddled sense of hopelessness and fear that grips her time and again. Why overwhelm her so much that you fail to do her mental state and capacity any justice?

I’m not going to be harsh about how much David’s death bothered me-- no actually fuck that; what’s the point? Fine, he died. All because you wanted to make his death a plot device to make Zoya reconcile with loss and deal with it? Where was Genya’s grief? Literally no point of having a death in the book at all, and it didn’t even achieve anything. (I’m still trying to wrap my head around why David’s death was important and maybe if I find some straws, I’ll consider…)

There were so many other ways around it; could have brought back Lada and killed her off, or have the Darkling piss her off so badly or just. Something. Instead of whatever happened with David. I think this is too harsh and insensitive of me to say about Leigh, but still… there’s a myriad of other ways to have gone about it. Helping Zoya deal with her grief with Nikolai at her side, to understand that the rage that was fueled from her loneliness, like it had been in the past, could now be a weight that Nikolai was willing to carry with her… Helping someone with their grief, staying and choosing is also a love language you know?

So in that regard, I won’t regret saying how flat the garden scene was to me. Zoya’s lines, though tinged with grief, were so out of what I would expect KoS Zoya to say. Maybe it’s also because of how bitter I was reading about David's death, despite that part being spoiled for me.

The cost shouldn’t have been David’s death, especially not when his death too wasn’t properly handled at all, and Genya’s grief was never spared a second thought beyond bringing Titanium.

+

Now let’s talk about how Out of Character Zoya was throughout the book. Her punchy attitude was missing, and even if she was warming up to her friends, we see little of the iciness she continues to retain. Another part of this is about exploring her relationships, particularly with Nikolai and her growing feelings for him. I wish we’d have seen them grapple with more of their confusion and propriety, if only for the yearning™. Besides, no matter how cute their scenes were, they were mostly (like maybe some. 70%) awful to read them, simply because it felt so odd to see Zoya be so open with Nikolai, all of a sudden.

A part of this definitely has to be the fact that we don’t know just how much time has passed between the end of KoS and the start of RoW, and we never, never see any description of they regarded their feelings for each other and how they understood it themselves. I don’t actually know how exactly I can put this into words in a manner that will make sense, but the only scenes where I appreciated Zoyalai were in the Ketterdam chapters, ONLY. The rest was… bleh lmao. Their scenes were so cute and brilliant, and if only we’d seen more of the internal conflict and had given some more time for them to practically approach their feelings but still end up in the puddle of it. If only.

Their scenes apart were the good ones, because that’s where we finally see Nikolai feeling the loss, no matter how temporary (on the verge of being permanent since it’s the war), of not having Zoya with him, of not being there with Zoya because who else would it be if it wasn’t her? Zoyalai had good scenes but they barely lived up to the mark lol. Their feelings are never thoroughly explored, nor their mental capacities.

While we’re talking about Zoyalai, let’s also talk about how lame it was for Zoya to say that Nikolai was the golden spirited hero all along, from the very start, when canonically we know Zoya had little to do with him in the earlier books, that she may have only been physically attracted to him and never saw him as more than just some guy with a responsibility to manage, and had sooooooo much distrust about him. And that it was only in the next few years of working with him and alongside did she grow to recognize his efforts and relish in the hope that he was building for Ravka, inadvertently making Zoya hopeful too.

Nope. Instead, we’ll just throw in some destiny bs that he was the one all along rather than show that the beauty of their relationship did not stem what they perceived of each other, but was instead built on strong respect and admiration for one another and their capabilities. 100% destroyed their relationship for me.

+

Some good parts about Zoya’s arc in RoW was how she acknowledged her past mistakes, and the nuance that was touched upon in seeing sense in becoming a soldier from the start, that offered her a chance to be anything other than a bride. That some part of her was grateful for the Darkling for teaching her how to fight, while still keeping Genya’s words in mind about how they were mere kids, children who had only one path to traverse because the Darkling (who wanted their acceptance and loyalty) nor the Kings of the country let the Grisha be anything else other than pawns of the war. That she recognizes her mistakes as a teen and how self centred she was, that her being snotty had at times cost some peoples’ lives too. And she doesn’t take the blame all up on herself, because it’s not hers alone to bear. Super good.

Also, the way Zoya comes to view power as responsibility instead of merely as protection was something cool to read about. It’s not clear in the books, but Zoya actively tried to not be the Darkling while still continuing to build an army for the war out of necessity, and actually sharing some parts of the dream that the Darkling had for the Grisha. I can’t articulate this so perfectly, but the point is, Zoya trying to avoid becoming a tyrant like the Darkling was an active process that she was constantly trying to change, and where Zoya could not recognize her own feelings and inherent thoughts about warfare that in some ways did mirror the Darkling’s, by the end of book, Zoya is much more self-aware and conscious of herself and her power than she was at the start of the book. And this was well done.

+

Now, what is up with YA and making people turn into giants or animals lol wtf. Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya use her dragon powers in a way that symbolizes the conditions of her dragon amplifier and the power of the knowledge she obtained from Juris? She is a Saint, and we’ve seen that their powers allowed them to cause ‘miracles’ and such, as we see at the start of KoS and at the end.

Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya dabble with her newfound powers and completely lose her shit in anger during the wae, only to rein back in mercy, just as someone from Fjerda begs for forgiveness since they see her then as a Saint? Adrik and Leoni used their powers in Fjerda, so having Zoya bring about a conundrum of all orders and do something about it would also have been cool, wouldn’t it? In the funeral scene we see her turn water into ice, thereby making a path for Genya. Why couldn’t we have had more exploration of the importance of the dragon’s eye and the general nausea of being overly empathetic every. damn. time? Why didn’t we get to see her powers? Why couldn’t we have seen her fail in them and realize that the reason she was not perfect was because she was trying to be strong on her own and was not relying on others and joint effort?

Her turning into a dragon was genuinely the most baffling part bc here’s a war that’s so serious and dire with metals and bombs, and then here’s this magic that will solve all of it entirely. Like I’m not saying it was bad, (I am actually saying just that) but I also don’t know what I am saying, except that the ending felt like a fever dream.

…?

Not sure if I’ve managed to convey it properly, but well. Zoya felt out of character throughout RoW, and that the only place I saw KoS Zoya was in the final Os Kervo scene where Zoya finally agrees to be the queen.

c) Nikolai

Nikolai’s arc was very satisfying and brilliant to read about in RoW. In KoS, he seemed very much like a passive character, one of the reasons why his stunt with the Shu in RoW was appreciable, no matter how ill-timed of a plot turn it was. His journey throughout this book was also introspective to see why others deemed him unfit as the King, and even if they were his enemies who thought that in want to dispose him from the throne, Nikolai realizes that him being on the throne is not of much value and that this book was entirely about him seeing his privilege and making decisions to counter and correct the mistakes he’s made. That was nice. Oh, also his father not being an antagonist was a pleasant surprise.

I don’t have many complaints about him, except perhaps wanting some more internal conflict and elaboration about his feelings for Zoya. Them being apart was where it was satisfying, and then in the Ketterdam chapters. His arc could have been better in KoS, but that’s to blame the plot for the characterization.

d) Hanne

Now, from the very start, their arc was super good and it only got better and better until… the ending. Except it’s so odd that Hanne, a poc, has to now live as white person, while feeling comfortable in their transmasc identity. Icky, no? That you need to eliminate one part of your identity in order to feel safe and comfortable about another? Add to this the whole white-passing Zoya thing,,, doesn't exactly send off the right message.

Together with Nina, the ending seems uncharacteristic for both of them. Them coming to accept their powers and knowing to use their powers on their own accord was brilliant, though the entire husband business felt very,,, eh to me, even if it did make sense. The ending about their name and their new identity was too vague.

e) Genya, Leoni and Adrik, Kuwei, Mayu,

Genya is the one who faced the most disservice along with David. While there were exceptional parts to both of their plotlines, it's still sad that even if David's death was necessary, we don't get to see the entirety of her grief and the possible anger, and that her kindness is simply used as the justification for lack of portrayal of grief.

It really did take me by surprise, mostly because I wasn't a fan of the original Shadow and Bone book, but seeing David's conscience and self-awareness, along with Genya's (and Zoya thinking of how she wouldn't let any harm come to them, which shows a bit of her development towards her character development), was plenty refreshing. David and Genya were genuinely the highlights of the book and to kill David off was just. doesn't sit right with me.

Leoni and Adrik deserved more page time. They’re saints and immensely capable (no wonder they’re now the Triumvirate), but a few more pages for them to shine would not only have been nice, but also a necessity.

And now, Kuwei...

....

I mean,,, parem should have been the plot, alongside the entire weaponry and the discussion of making a city killer. But uh… that didn’t happen.

There's not much I have to say about Mayu, Tamar and Ehri, except that their plot was superb, only very badly timed.

There's more to talk about them in the remedy tho.

IV. Remedy

Here’s the deal. Before KoS release, there should have been a Nina novella.

Nina is a very important character. All of her potential, alongside many other parts of her personality--from dealing with grief, to accustoming to her powers, to growing stronger--there could be so much to do with her as a protagonist, alongside another character: Mayu.

A whole book dedicated to Nina in Fjerda with Hanne? Brilliant. Show Stopping. Mind blowing. It gives SO much page time to explore not just Nina and Mayu, Hanne, but also Zoya, Leoni and Inej. All together.

How?

Nina’s plotline carries the entire medical effects of the use of parem, just as Mayu’s will carry the pain she feels about her brother being a part of the khergud program. The novella will give ample time to flesh them out as characters and protagonists, each dealing with plot problems and problems of their own--like the loss of ones powers and newfound responsibilities, and the shared loss of a beloved person in parallel, even if neither Nina or Mayu interact on page.

Fjerda and Shu Han could be tied together with one chapter as a POV from Zoya (or maybe two), who, along with the Triumvirate and Nikolai, are completely at loss with the political scenario in the country, and are debating over what should be the course of action. Zoya receives news from the scouts, and missives from Nina, and Tamar takes care of the information she garners from the rest of the network, including Shu Han.

Like, the entire surprise of finding a Zoya POV, from a character whom until CK we’ve known as cold hearted and stern and not giving a fuck about anything or anyone, be humanized in that one chapter, thereby building up the anticipation for her arc,,, the very potential,,, *chef's kiss*.

And by the end of book, we could have an POV--or maybe a cameo if not a POV--of Inej meeting Nina on one of her travels of slave hunting. Inej could help take care that the women that Nina has rescued (as Nina does in KoS) reach the Ravkan shorelines safely. But, for a price.

The entire parallels between Leoni and Hanne and Nina could be set up, while also building up the narrative for the Saints’ plotline with Adrik's, Leoni's and Nina’s powers (like it was at the end of KoS). KoS and RoW would thereby continue it by tackling the weaponization and the antidote, Sainthood and the rest of the politics of it all.

Coming to Shu Han: one key aspect that I’d love to have explored would be the importance of art, during or despite the war. Of how war or pain chips away culture, while detailing on the ill effects of it from the commoners' perspectives, from the soldiers etc. Art is integral to Shu Han and could be portrayed by Mayu’s pain finding balm in poetry, of seeing glimpses of Ehri poring over poetry also mayri ftw, of politics that Makhi is weaving against Ravka, etc.

Or also add some more length to Zoya’s POV and explore a bit of Tamar and Tolya and Kuwei’s interactions and perspective added to it, of missing a home that they seemed to not know, or know; of discussing culture and differences on the basis of where they’re from (maybe the twins are from the borders, while Kuwei grew up near the capital or somewhere distant from the borders etc.), all while directly pointing at Zoya’s heritage and how it ebbs at her conscience, no matter how much she wants to bury it.

POTENTIAL !!!

Like,,, Nina novella would have been too powerful. It would have been perfect. I think I’d excuse bringing back the Darkling too if this was the case. (Or maybe not).

But welp.

Hey, thanks for reading! Not sure if you could make it this far, but if you have, you honestly deserve a medal for sitting through this all. I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to read through this, considering it seemed to take it more than month to compile this there’s also me procrastinating on it too so i’,mbhbdhshfsdn

Drop an ask if you want to talk more about this!

Sincerely, thank you!!!

[joysmercer]

[early season 3, except Nina’s there so the timeline’s slightly different]

"Neens, wake up. Nina. Nina Martin. Niiinaaaaa,” a voice whispers at increasing levels of urgency.

Nina swats the hand on her shoulder away. “Jesus Christ, Amber, it’s like 3 AM. Go to bed.” 

A beat passes before Nina processes her own words. “Amber!” she cries, sitting awake immediately. “What are you doing here?” 

Amber looks down sheepishly. “I came back.” 

“What happened to fashion school? Was Alfie trolling you again? Because if so, I will—”

“No, no, the place for me was real,” Amber assures her. “You don’t have to kill him. At least, not for this.” 

Nina breathes a sigh of relief. “So, why aren’t you over there right now? I thought you were gonna enroll immediately. Trudy even baked you a goodbye cake and everything.”

“Welllll, I kinda decided not to go.”

“What? Why not? You were so excited when you found out. It’s been your dream since you were a kid.” 

Amber rolls her eyes and gestures to Nina’s bed. “Can I—?”  

Nina nods and Amber carefully sits cross-legged in the middle of it. She reaches for one of the extra blankets strewn about, but her hands start to tremble so badly she’s unable to wrap it around herself properly. It’s then that Nina notices the tears in her eyes. 

"Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Nina says comfortingly, reaching across and taking Amber’s hands in hers. “There’s always next year. Plus, I’ve missed having you around so, so much, and it’s only been two days. I had no idea how I was going to manage Sibuna without you.” 

Nina waits until her friend finally cracks a faint smile before she continues. “And you know what? This means we still get to celebrate your birthday properly tomorrow!”

Amber immediately brightens. “Oh, my birthday! Wait. Wasn’t it already my birthday?”

Nina winces. Oops. “Did I say your birthday? I meant Corbierre’s birthday! Victor’s planned a whole fête, as he called it.”

“Corbierre. Victor’s stuffed bird. Okay, I know he’s weirdly attached to that thing, but this is a lot, even for him,” Amber says, narrowing her eyes.

“Yeah, well, you know him. Always up to something,” Nina chirps, hoping Amber wouldn’t press the issue. Unfortunately, she has no such luck.

“Nina Martin, what's going on?” 

“Okay, well, it’s not just me, but basically the guys felt bad for acting like idiots over my Frobisher vision during your actual party”—Amber visibly grimaces at the memory, and Nina doesn’t blame her; the fight led to the demise of all three relationships in the household, including both of theirs, and a month-long detention for everyone—“so we all got together to organize a bigger one for tomorrow before we knew, or, I guess, thought, you were leaving. You cannot tell them you know.”

Amber makes a zip motion across her mouth. “My lips are sealed!” 

Nina returns Amber’s elated grin but sobers up soon after. She still hasn’t forgotten what led them to this conversation in the first place. “So, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but why did you come back?” she asks.

“Oh, Nina, it was awful,” Amber says sadly. “Daddy came with me, obvi, and I was so excited to show him around and meet my instructors and everything, but he kept talking about how he expected more from me and how this isn’t a ‘good career path’ or whatever. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be a pharmacist like he wants me to—really? Me on a farm?”

Nina’s heart sinks. She knew how proud Amber had been when her father complimented her designs just a short while ago, and how excited she was for the opportunity to make it her career. “I’m really sorry, Amber. I was so sure he was on board after your amazing Business Studies project.” 

“Our Business Studies project,” Amber corrects her. “I mean, I did do all the designs, but it was your report that made us winners.” 

“Oh, stop it.” Nina blushes. Amber laughs, and a dormant set of butterflies, once reserved only for someone she’s now barely on speaking terms with, suddenly reawakens in the pit of Nina’s stomach. That's…different.

The feeling doesn’t get any better when Amber abruptly jumps off the bed, pulling Nina up with her. “You know what I need right now?” 

“Huh?” Nina’s brain takes a temporary vacation as Amber’s clear-blue eyes glimmer at her mischievously.

“A midnight feast in the cellar,” Amber whispers. “Go open the door from the kitchen; I’ll wake the other girls up.” 

Nina nods, unable to form a coherent sentence to actually reply while Amber still holds her hand. 

Before she can turn toward the other room, Amber suddenly presses a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks for making me feel better.” 

“I didn’t—”

“You did, just by being here.” Amber smiles. “Oh, this year is going to be So. Much. Fun.”

Nina raises a hand to touch the spot on her cheek. Watching Amber skip away, she can’t help but agree.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel