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cupidsintern · 3 years ago

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the death of hyacinthus - pt. i

this is my old renaissance au with artist!billy and model!steve so enjoy lol

The light spills out onto the floor before the window, making the worn wood of the floor look bright again, like new. The light doesn't reach Steve though. Billy set up the scene like that on purpose, closer to the center of his studio. No direct light. He wants this to be lit like it's the beginning of twilight. In his head, Hyacinth dies at sunset.

The room is silent, has been for a while, other than birds outside the window, a breeze that made the window tap against itself lightly, and fabric shifting if Steve stirs from where he is at all, draped across this haphazard construction of pillows, blankets, and a bench.

That's the word Billy used; “drape”. When Steve got to the studio Billy was kicking pillows around on his little model platform, trying to get everything set up right, hardly even greeting Steve at all before launching into his explanation of how he wanted Steve to look.

“-and he’s dying, but he’s not dead yet,” Billy walked half a circle around the platform, hands out. “So Apollo would- damn-” A pillow fell over, he pushed it back up. “Would be here. So if you can just sort of drape yourself across right here-”

Steve was stripping off the last of his garments when Billy turned back around.

“Here?” Steve finished kicking his stockings off, crossed to step up onto the platform.

Billy swallowed, looking Steve in the eyes because at least it meant he wouldn't look down, slack jawed. “Yeah, that's- that’s perfect.” Steve was already settling in to sitting down, letting his head fall back against the seat of the bench, throat exposed.

The way he was sitting shifted his weight in his hips more; Billy tried to look critically. Not appreciatively. He shouldn’t be appreciating the son of the nobleman that had decided to be his patron. Not that Steve was even supposed to be modeling for him beyond the two portraits he’d already had done.

“Tip your knee down more,” Billy stepps back, takes in the composition.

Steve drops his knee.

“Turn your head towards me.”

Steve obliges. The line of his nose looks perfect at three quarters.

Billy stepps up to the platform again, pulls some of the fabric forward, lets it fall over Steve's legs more, over his groin- good. Less distracting. More poetic or something- and the line of his thighs beneath the fabric has just the heaviness Billy is looking for. He steps back again.

“What’s the myth again?” Steve’s jaw gains definition when he speaks with his head at this angle.

“The Death of Hyacinthus.”

“I know that part.” Steve rolls his hand a little. “The part before that. How does he die?”

“He- hang on.” Billy steps close again to push things around, make the lines right. “The wind- Zephyr- gets jealous of his beauty. Apollo throws a discus, and Zephyr pushes it off course, so it knocks Hyacinth in the head. Apollo holds him while he dies.” Billy says it all matter-of-factly. He's trying not to get distracted. He picks up Steve's arm to tilt back towards him a little. His skin is warm like the sunlight staining the floor.

“That's sad.” Steve says. His arm feels relaxed in Billy’s grip. “Weren't they close? Apollo and Hyacinth.”

Billy feels a familiar warmth at his neck of this topic. This thing that always comes up when he and Steve are alone. “They were lovers.”

Steve doesn't say anything back to that.

Billy gets the composition mostly how he wants it- and he’ll probably try Steve in a couple different poses, this is only for sketching. He takes ages deciding where to set up to actually draw it- Steve makes fun of him. Billy says he’s not the one naked on a pile of old curtains. That makes Steve laugh. His stomach flexes a little when he laughs.

Billy's glad Steve can be part of his process now.

He gets some general gestures down on paper. He really nails the angle of Steve’s throat- which he's proud of. He needs the arch of the thing to be perfect. And he gets the general idea of Steve's features down quick- he’s drawn Steve's face maybe a thousand times by now. The way his arm falls is tricky- he’ll come back to that in a bit.

“Billy.”

Billy looks up at Steve’s voice. He’s sat up a little, something short of coy in his eyes. “I’m cold.” “You’re cold.” Billy says back to him. Because he never does what Steve implies. Only what Steve says.

“Yeah, like you said- I’m bare ass naked on a pile of curtains.”

“Your calling.”

Steve laughs again. “Do you think we could close the door?”

“We?”

“You. Can you close the door.”

“Who’s the revered artist here?”

“Who’s the patron?”

Billy rolls his eyes, but he drops his chalk into the lip of his easel anyway, walks to pull the door to his studio shut, separating them from the rest of the house. Steve left it open in the first place.

“You’re not my patron.” Billy says when he gets back, picks up to start drawing again.

“I’m close.” Steve only sounds a little superior.

He’s right. He is close to being Billy's patron. He recommended Billy to his family, he talked up Billy’s version of the pieta, he introduced Billy to the Influentials of Florence, got him this nice new studio, set up in one of the family houses. He was only a little superior about it.

Mostly he was nice.

Nice to Billy. Excited about the things he drew, always asking him what he was working on.

Asked to sit for him once, twice, how many more times, he was part of the process now.

This might be what having a muse was, if Billy believed in things like having muses.

Steve scratches the back of his calf with a foot, then sets his legs back down.

“I’m surprised you don’t get bored doing this.” Billy cracks two of the knuckles on his drawing hand, shakes out his wrist. He’s only prying a little.

“I like watching you work,” comes Steve's easy reply.

“Still.” Billy smudges at a stray line with his thumb. “You’re always fidgety at dinners and shit. Not here.”

“Dinners are boring.” Steve sighs.

He had expressed that sentiment before. That he found Billy much more interesting than anything his family ever did. That he’d trade his infinite wealth for the virve Billy so possessed. Only he didn't say it like that. He said “I’d trade all of this shit for whatever makes your art so beautiful.”

And Billy said “You wouldn't want to. Trust me.”

Billy, having seared the image of Steve into his brain by now, was adding more definition in places, really letting his focus slide out of his head.

And it’s quiet for a bit. Billy doesn't notice when the silence breaks- the sound of shifting fabric, bare feet on wood floor-

“Shit, that’s really good.” Steve's voice startles Billy a little, but he doesn’t let it show. Just turns a little abruptly to find Steve leaning over his shoulder.

“Looks just like me.” Steve continued, hovering his fingertips over Billy's rendition of his nose.

“You don’t have to sound so impressed every time.” Billy rolled his eyes, pushing Steve’s hand away.

“Oh, excuse me for showing some enthusiasm.” Steve hummed another laugh, still looking at the paper. He traced a finger absentmindedly down his own flesh-and-blood nose, marveling at the likeness.

Billy couldn't focus enough to continue with Steve so close. Not like he’d never seen Steve in next to nothing before. But this was really and truly nothing. And even naked as the day he was born Steve exuded wealth in just the way he stood. Like clothes were nothing but decoration on something already… beautiful.

“Can you go back to your spot, please?” Billy got out, looking away like he was annoyed.

Steve just smiled at him before padding back to his platform, throwing the fabric back over his legs.

But now the composition was wrong-

“So,” Steve’s voice carried across the sun-soaked chambers. “Why Hyacinth?”

“What do you mean.” Billy was trying desperately to collect his thoughts.

“I mean, he’s dating a god, right? Why him? What's so special about him.”

“He’s beautiful.”

“And?”

“Well, I mean, he’s a Spartan prince, he’s legendary. Apollo doesn't even really pick him. Hyacinth has, like, a bunch of people to choose from. He picks Apollo.”

Billy can’t draw like this, especially since Steve fucked up the composition- probably on purpose.

Billy gets up with an unintentional little huff and gets close to Steve again, has to adjust his legs again, avoid staring at the pinks that dust Steve’s everywhere-

“You draw me a lot.” Steve interrupts Billy’s train of thought.

Billy looks up, holding Steve’s wrist like it was his own. “You sit for me a lot-”

“What's your favorite part to draw?”

Billy’s breathing feels thicker, like his throat is coated in honey, sweet but hard to breathe. “Of you?” “Yeah.”

“Your nose.” Billy says easily, because it's safe to say.

Steve smiles. “You've said that before.”

“It's true.” Billy prepares to turn away again, to tell Steve they should get more done while there's still daylight.

Steve’s fingers hook against the palm of Billy's hand. This is playing with fire.

Steve lifts Billy's hand up, touches it to the bridge of his nose.

He can feel the sharp bone under his forefinger.

“Where else?”

Billy inhales. It's a feat. “Your jaw.”

Steve pulls Billy's hand down his cheek to touch his jawline. They’ve been avoiding this forever,

“And?” Cliche game of cat and mouse. Right now, Billy’s the mouse.

“Your shoulders.” Billy watches Steve drag his hand down his perfect neck to the slope of his perfect shoulders. “Steve.”

“Billy.” Steve mocks Billy’s warning tone just a little. “Come on, what else?”

Billy swallows again. He doesn't respond he just lets his hand wander lower, lower, down his chest, to his stomach-

Billy stops his hand, pushes back against Steve’s. “I’ve never drawn you nude, if that's what you’re implying.”

“Maybe you should.” Steve’s finger’s slide up Billy's forearm to hook under the edge of his rolled up sleeve.

“I’d need a couple different references...” Billy trails off. He knows Steve is about to kiss him.

It’s still delicious when he does. No number of days, weeks, waiting for one of them to make a move, of thinking what that move would be, what it would feel like, would have prepared Billy for the spit-sweet taste of a first kiss in the late afternoon.

i might do a part ii or just leave it like this lol

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve x billy #billy x steve #harringrove fanfic #harringrove fic #my fic #my writing #its the renaissance au

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tenaciouspeacesandwich · 3 years ago

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PSA: Online Safety

Ok so normally I don’t post personal stuff on here, but I saw something today that made me remember this and I knew I had to post it somewhere.

When I was 14, I was really into digital art and online forums where people could post and discuss their paintings/drawings. As someone w/adhd and social anxiety, the internet was somewhere I felt I could be myself and be in control of my social interactions. It wasn’t as intimidating as making friends or talking to people in real life, and I built genuine social skills on there. However, I wasn’t aware of how dangerous these digital communities could be.

I had (still do) a really great relationship with my parents growing up, and they made sure to have the discussion with me about stranger danger and how you should never give away personal info online, all the classics. I never really hid anything I did on the computer from them, and they trusted me completely. They monitored our internet that was considered acceptable by most parenting standards (i.e. server blockers for adult content, etc.). But none of that mattered when I met someone on a discussion board who convinced me to meet up with them irl.

Obviously, looking back on it now years later, it was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Even at the time, I remember being a little scared when this person asked me to meet them at a public park. They were one of my online ‘art buddies’, ppl who critiqued and gave advice for your submissions, and we’d ‘known’ each other for a while. They complimented my sketches, gave me great tips on how to draw better, and I was really inspired by all the works they posted. Then the conversations meandered naturally from our posts to our lives, casual talk like how we hated homework but liked our teachers, our siblings were annoying, etc.

WARNING: DESCRIPTION OF GROOMING AHEAD

Then, one day they messaged me complementing my self-portrait that I had posted. It was by no means realism, more of a cartoon version of myself, but their flattering words were enough to make my introverted,14-year-old self swoon. I was so shy in school, no one even knew i was there half the time, let alone told me i was beautiful. It made me feel special, valued, less alone. Looking back now, I see it for what it was. But at the time, those words only made me trust this person more. So when they mentioned that they lived in my city and asked if I wanted to meet up at a public park, it wasn’t a huge red flag to me. It was a public place, right? It’s not like they were asking for my social or my address or anything. And they wouldn’t be picking me up in their car, the park was close enough to my school that I could bike the 4 miles there myself. We were just gonna hang out at the picnic tables for a couple of hours, no big deal.

Even though I’d seen this park before, I’d never actually been to it. My parents never took us there, and I always just assumed it was because there were other, closer parks to our house that were just as nice. It didn’t seem sketchy to me as I rode up closer, other than the fact that some of the playground equipment was rusty and the swing set had overgrown weeds on it.

I remember this day so clearly even though it’s been 10 years now: I was pedaling up this mini-hill that went thru a neighborhood, and the park was at the bottom of the hill on the other side. I remember stopping at the top of the hill to catch my breath for a second on the sidewalk, and I looked down at the park. From where I was standing, I could see the picnic tables and the parking lot. My friend had been messaging me on my phone, and had been updating me ever since I left school on my bike. They said they were already there and had been waiting for me for the past 10 minutes, and that when I arrived I’d be able to find them really easily because they had a red convertible in the parking lot, and they had managed to get us a table that we didn’t have to share. I texted them when I left, asking if there were a lot of people at the park that day. Their reply was really distinct, because instead of ‘yeah, kinda’ or ‘not really’, they texted back; ‘Super crowded, some kind of birthday party at the gazebo- All kinds of moms lol’ . Reading that gave me assurance that I didn’t know I needed, and that’s why I remember the dread and fear I felt when I looked down at the park.

There was no one there.

No party, no kids, nothing- the gazebo was empty, the playground deserted, everything was just quiet.

Except for this one man sitting at a picnic table, who had to be at least my father’s age. There was a gray sedan parked in the lot (i’m assuming his, but I don’t know), and the man was looking down at his phone as he sat at the table.

I texted my ‘friend’ again, still hidden by the garage wall of someone’s house where my bike was parked at the top of the hill. My ‘friend’ was supposed to be a guy my age who was wearing a pink floyd t shirt and black jeans. I asked him, ‘is there food at the party?’

I got an instant reply; ‘Yeah, a grillout- smells amazing but i don’t think they’ll let us have anything lol’.

I turned around and got on my bike, looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes, terrified that this guy might have seen and followed me. Thankfully, there was never anyone behind me, and I didn’t stop until I got home. I went to my room and deleted my entire account from that website, blocking my ‘friend’ first and deleting all of our conversation history in a panic before making sure every trace of me was gone forever. I sat there in my room for a while just staring at the wall.

I don’t know for sure if the man that I saw had anything to do with the person I was messaging- I don’t know him or why he was at the park. All of these things are connections I drew from what I knew via the website and our conversation, and what I could see with my own eyes. But more powerful than any of that was the immense, strong gut feeling I had wash over me when I was about to meet that person. Something just felt very, very wrong. I was still happy and excited to meet them, but that happiness was soured by that innate reaction of dread and foreboding that just screamed at me to go away.

I never told my parents about this, and still haven’t to this day. I know they would blame themselves for me being lured by this person (if that was in fact what happened), and that is the last thing I want- they did everything right.

That’s my entire point in posting this: my parents did everything by the book, took the experts advice, had an open and trusting relationship with me, and monitored our internet access. But I still made this happen, I still got my way, and I’m convinced that it’s by sheer luck that I’m still here today. I got up the courage to ask them one day, about 3 years after all this, when we were driving by that park why they never took us there as kids. My parents told me that park was notorious for drug use and crime, and that there were no working security cameras anywhere nearby.

There have been so many people in my situation who unfortunately never came home. Please please please be careful who you talk to on the internet, and be even more careful about the excuses you tell yourself to justify why it’s ok for you to be communicating with strangers. I convinced myself that this was just a fun meet up with a friend, that it was safe because it was on a public property, and that it was ok for me to go by myself. I will remember this experience for the rest of my life.

#public safety #online safety #grooming #child exploitation #luring #online predators #be safe #safety #parenting #online smarts

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whencallstheheart · 4 years ago

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We’ll find out tonight if our predictions are correct!

Responses to the written questions are under the cut.

Where is Ned and what is he doing?

No idea

Business trip

Dealing with some financial issues.

Doing business in UC or Hamilton. Nothing major

He stayed behind next episode and will be back in the finale.

I think planning something for Florence, maybe expansion for the mercantile?

I don't know

I have no idea, wth!?!?

Yo i have no idea. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he's trying to contact Florence's daughter who wasnt there for the wedding

Maybe he's visiting his daughter? Or expanding the Mercantile somehow

With Mike. Oil pipeline

Hiding

It sure

I have no clue honestly, maybe planning a surprise for Florence?

Perhaps...expanding his store? Or ordering something new to begin to be shipped to his.

something related to factory

Sussing out suppliers

Maybe something to do with the Wyman guy?

visiting his daughter

Buying a new house or a surprise for Florence

Visiting Abigail

Planning something special for Florence

He is doing something with his daughter

No clue

With his daughter

Planning to expand the mercantile to include deliveries (Hope Valley Amazon) lol

Not sure

I really dont know!

Made out a Will since he now is married to Florence

Business in Union City

Business, but he’ll be back

I don’t Know

I dont know. This one threw me!

Literally have no idea

maybe he will come back with his daughter who will come to live at HP

some sweet surprise/gift for Florence

He is involved im some growth in HV.

Taking care of business.

He's making a business deal somewhere

I have no idea. I think it was a weird to put in o.O

Making purchases for the store.

Business stuff somewhere

I don't know

i don't know

ned things

He just took the long way home...

Adopting Flo's son

Hiding

He is picking up a surprise order gift for Florence, and it’s taking longer than expected.

Fighting attempt to take over mercantile

Talking to a divorce lawyer. Or putting a pillow over Abigail's mom's face so she can bury her already and come back to Hope Valley for his buddy Henry's sake.

Honestly I’m not sure but interested to find out!

Idk honestly. Probably actually doing something sweet for Florence but she doesn't know it.

What's up with the Pinkertons?

Not sure

A storyline to bring a change of pace to the show.

I really Don’t know

Not sure, but I don’t think it will be resolved this season, maybe it’s the cliffhanger?

I don't know

They’re hired thugs like they were in S1, just there to show Walden is a bad guy despite appearances

Factory related

Up to no good! Don’t trust them.

Yo i dont even know. They look totally sketch but they are probably the good guys actually. I'm predicting they are after someone who's been wanted for a long time. I think it may be too easy to link them with the guy who took Jesse and Clara's money

Not sure yet

Working for Waldon

Railroad

Sneakily buying land

I couldn't care less about them

Perhaps something is in the cabin/someone they don't want found.

No idea

Something to do with the mine disaster (even though it's been ages).

we will see in season 9

Setting up a good storyline for season 9

Not sure maybe something to do with the new factory that might be built

Maybe it has to do with Henry

I have no idea, but I do not like them!

No good

Buying all the land

They have Jesse. Someone wants to reopen the mine and seek revenge on Elizabeth for his son going to jail (Spurlock).

Looking for some kind of hidden good

Shady dealings going on

Guarding the future factory site. But something extra at the cabin connected with Spurlock.

Trouble

An even bigger I dont know on this one. Like, what in the world???

Holding Jesse captive

I think they kidnapped Jesse because he found out what they were up to but I have no idea what that is

stumped on this one

That is difficult. He is apparently connected to S1 Spurlock. Is he there for revenge? Or, just a heavy hand like his relative?

Revenge? They want to take over Hope Valley.

Something sketchy, probably bigger than just whatever is going on with the cabin though.

Land grab

No clue but they'll be one of the big bads next season

They are probably the goons of the Industry dude

They are working for somebody bigger.

They want to take over the town

I don't know

i'm worried about Nathan

idk they are the bad daddys of the season

they can only be there to cover up a crime, or some valuable find

No clue

They’re wanting to uproot Hope Valley for better business by destroying the town.

Keeping identity of mastermind safe from townspeople.

Maybe looking for Ned, who alternatively is a serial killer and now on the run. Possibly for the murder of Abigail's mother?

I’m so confused lol

Creating a monopoly & doing some villain nonsense (as it would seem the show is hinting).

Any other thoughts going into the finale?

There will be at least one surprise- not sure what

There are too many loose ends to tie up in one episode and I just want Elizabeth and Nathan together (and perhaps quickly married in this episode!)

I’m honestly really nervous, I’m rooting for Nathan but I have a feeling she’ll go for Lucas, I really don’t mind Lucas as a character but like what storylines can they do with them as a couple? The manuscript is finished, they’ve gone on every sort of date at this stage and she’s been in his office. What else can they do? With Nathan they can do the being scared because of his job again but making it different, there’s children involved now, it’s not just Elizabeth. Jack won’t understand but Allie will 100% feel worried for him. Also Allie having a mother figure, especially at this stage in her life, how could you not want it! The blended family as the main family would be so nice for this show, I know it’s been done before but they will be fairly front and centre in the show. Sorry for the rant, I love your blog so much! I don’t have tumblr so I can’t leave comments or like your gifs but I thoroughly enjoy all your theories and opinions!!

Just ready for this stupid love triangle to be over!

I’d love to actually see Henry meet up with Abigail, but doubt it. I hope they have Clara do something heroic for Jesse, but also doubt it. Henry will definitely be putting Hickam in charge at least temporarily. I think Ned will return but we won’t get a full explanation yet. And the dramatic ending won’t be the triangle choice, it’ll be Elizabeth losing the school.

Allie’s adoption finalized and reaction to Elizabeth choosing Nathan is something we should see.

Glad the triangle will be DONE!!

I hope that Elizabeth follows her heart and not pick someone who is a safe option.

I wish Faith were leaving instead of Carson. Also, I think there will be lots of set up for problems with the school board and Elizabeth. Also, I want more little Jack scenes but i don't think we'll get much since child acting laws and covid combined make that difficult

Excited for Elizabeth to move on from her past and enter a new adventure with either of the two men and really just everything else (Rosie and Lee, Fiona, Henry.)

I hope Faith doesn’t end up with whoever doesn’t get chosen by Elizabeth.

hopefully the finale will clear up the drawn out love triangle

The triangle was waaaaay drawn out. Be done and choose.

Nathan and Faith......would be great......

No matter who Elizabeth chooses I'm SOOOO READY to get this over with!

Kindness matters - no matter who she chooses. Isn't that why most of us watch the show

I am so over the love triangle and just want to know who Elizabeth picks.

Worried about the fandom more than anything

Elizabeth please pick Nathan

It's just a TV show and no matter what , it's there for our entertainment. I do think they're setting things up for the return of Abigail in some way.

The must be a Season 9!!!

I hope Fiona does not get involved with Mike.

Hopefully things get back to normal for Elizabeth and Rosemary

Interested to see the other storylines. I want Elizabeth to choose Nathan but I think JT will throw us off. From the promo pic, it looks like they will try to put Faith with Nathan.

- I just want Elizabeth to chose so that this storyline can come to an end and we can finally get to see her marriage and functioning has a wife. - Wonder what will become of Lucas once her choice is made. - I would like Lucas to have a proper storyline that doesn't involve Elizabeth or the love triangle. - I would love to see Rosemary and Lee finally become parents however that may happen. I feel like the writer just left them in limbo about it and keep teasing but never delivering on anything.

Hopefully will end with Nathan but the very last minute. I would prefer more romance before the finale

Elizabeth will have to decide on what’s important with school.

Jack might make an appearance in a dream scene?

So excited! I hope I don't wake up my kids while watching.

I hope they don’t pick Lucas

CLARA DISCOVERS SHE IS PREGNANT

Just excited for this to be over. I know we needed it and I think overall it was handled decent enough, but I'm glad to finally move on.

Why is everyone so scared?

The whole season has been about getting over your fear. Elizabeth doesn’t have to deal with her emotions or real life with Lucas because school is out for the summer and she is working on her book. She needs to make up with Rosemary and get over the loss of Jack and fear to be with Nathan.

this season has been totally not what I expected...I thought the hug at end of season 7 was definitive and we'd get at least some Nathan courtship, not a complete U-turn to Lucas (with hopefully a turn to Nathan at the very end). I now think Season 9 will be what I expected season 8 to be, and I am very much looking forward to that.

Something sudden will allow Elizabeth to bring her feelings to light for everyone...Nathan. I think she will have decided by the time she takes of the rings, but will not have the opportunity to share with the man until later. Until she faces the prospect of him being in danger again? Full circle from the end of S7.

I need Elizabeth to really apologize to Rosemary. Rosemary has always been there for Elizabeth.

I’m so afraid :(

Hated the triangle

I am so ready to finally move on from this triangle!

They put waaaay too many storyline in the last 2 episodes, they will never manage to conclude them all and we'll have another weird random cliffhanger which will not tie in with the Christmas episode (If we're getting one ?)

I hope the guy who loses, has a good life in later seasons

The annoying love triangle will finally end. Elizabeth/Nathan are endgame, unless Jack suddenly comes back from the dead. But, I doubt it. I hope Lee/Rosemary are pregnant, or decide to adopt children. I just want Lee/Rosemary to have children. Can't wait to see how this season ends. Hopefully, it won't be a cliffhanger.

Nervous as hell

Elizabeth and Nathan get married

i kinda hope someone dies tbh it would make everything more interesting

Elizabeth was so tiresome this season, they could have told her story of overcoming grief in a much more relatable way. Why did they not just have her talking to Rosemary about how sad or exhausted or numb or angry she feels all the time? You know, something a widow would actually go through. At the very least she could have been stoic, instead she was just kinda bitchy.

Faith and Nathan will have some sparks; Elizabeth will choose Lucas and they will kiss twice one being at bridge one being at her home inside with baby jack present.Carson will leave; Jessie will be found; Ned will come back safely.

Lucas endgame, Nathan and faith have sparks, Rosemary paper, Jessie and Clara make up.

I think Henry will take his own advice and leave to find Abigail to see if there is still any hope for them. Though I like his character, I want him to finally be happy, and if that means staying with Abigail, then that’s what it means. I don’t think TPTB will bring back Lori soooo.... that means Henry would be the one possibly leaving. I also think some scare will happen with Nathan between him and the Pinkertons. Then it may come full circle at the end where Elizabeth runs to him like she did last season, but instead of hugging him, she’ll kiss him instead.

Hallmark execs dictated ending and will cut salaries to bring back Abigail, hence Paul leaving.

My condolences to whichever guy gets to look forward to being bored by Elizabeth for the rest of his life. Are we sure Jack's death wasn't a suicide?

Ready to see how it ends and already looking forward to next season!

I will be really disappointed if she chooses Lucas but I’m afraid that’s where it’s headed. Either way I don’t understand how they’ll end in “the healthy place” they’ve said it will be with so much left for one episode.

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years ago

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The Mandalorian Chapter 11 reactions; the ‘the sea is a harsh mistress’ edition

- on first watch this wasn’t really one of my favorite episodes. I think it’s something to do with... one of the many things I love about the mandalorian is how it made the star wars universe feel HUGE. big and surprising and unknowable, there could be fucking anything out there man we don’t know. so having first bo katan show up and then ahsoka being set up right after (quite aside from who’s rumoured to play her, which is an entirely different can of wormy beans) in additon to opening the season on tatooine... eh. I’m not that into it, it feels like shrinking the world. we haven’t even gotten to see any other type of force user yet. it is only early/mid season tho so they’re probably going to pull some unexpected twists on us

my opinion might change with rewatches too, that happens quite a bit with this show!

🎶I’VE COME TO TALK WITH YOU AGAIN🎶

honestly I had kind of a hard day yesterday and watched this the next morning and kept pointing tiredly to the crest like ‘it me tho’

- I was unreasonably happy about seeing the calamari flan again hahaha he’s been keeping that shit in his pockets for a season and a half now (didn’t he pay with some at one other point too?)! also the sound effects for them are SO EXCELLENT, I keep thinking about how well this show does texture which is wild considering how it’s filmed

- the warm pat din gave frog lady’s arm when he thanked her and said goodbye 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I love the small ways he’s thawing

my heart ached so much for him at this point, he just looks so small and tense and lost, like a kid who’s lost his parents in a supermarket

(he keeps his hand on the blaster the whole time too so he knows this is a bad scene but now they’re right out in the middle of the ocean already soooo)

- din’s very very very dry sense of humour is so blessed. ‘a bowl of chowder for my friend’ faklhfsadkjlfhsadkjhfsd

the baby’s look when he poked the squid thing with his knife too -- yodito’s like ‘dad is a wizard??’ haha. some good baby & dad stuff in this one

- oh din... side quest boy, side quest booooooyyy

- the shot when bo katan helped him out of the water is perfectly mirroring the scene of bb!din being pulled up to safety by the mandalorian in the flashback, which seems Very Intentional

I Extremely Do Not Trust Her in the larger scale tho. I think it’s important that din knows now that he was raised in a very specific offshoot of the mandalorians ant that there’s some Stuff he hasn’t been told, but I also think it’s crucial to remember that her pov is not unbiased either and she, in fact, already has an established tendency to selectively share information with him to manipulate him into fulfilling her goals. (which he realizes because he keeps saying ‘that is not my mission, my mission is the child’ and I could not love him more). hell, I’m not sure exactly how ‘the children of the watch’ were positioned within death watch, but she was fucking death watch too for the longest time! and she hardly left for particularly noble reasons, she just didn’t like maul! she already lost mandalore like twice, do we just have to trust that third time’s the charm or what!

she lied to him about the scope of the mission to force him into a position to do what she wanted (fully knowing he’s responsible for a child!!) and she called that ‘the way’ just as easily as the thing about not letting his bravery be forgotten! big red warning lights, NO! I think the thing is that din is having to find his own ‘way’ of being mandalorian (/how does one be a person exactly help?? relatable content, and he’ll get there in the end I’m sure he’s so good), but her way is no less fucked up to me than the children of the watch from what we’ve seen so far. she’s good at killing imperials though which is of course a mark in her favour

(considering that the episode gives her the epithet ‘the heiress’... yeah that’s probably a hint that she’s loyal first and foremost to her entitlement, getting the position she considers hers by right of inheritance. guess we’ll see if the text agrees with her)

- ‘mandalorians are stronger together’ yeah that’s probably why the cosmic balance makes sure they’re mostly engaged in being at each other’s throats lol

- so I might be feeling kind of sketch about these guys but on the other hand... when that one lady saved the baby and then promptly took off her helmet to reveal she looks like t h i s ?

you better BELIEVE I was ready to fall down on one knee and propose right then and there holy shit

- ...wow if he didn’t have the jet pack din probably would have just sunk like a rock and drowned there huh 😨 that armour’s pretty heavy, turns out

- in happier news: din has become so good at reading what the child is expressing and responding/labeling the feeling for him! that’s so important to his development! ‘I know you’re hungry’ and both telling and showing him there’s a solution! still a bit of an issue that he thinks he can inform the baby of things like it’s a reasoned adult and have it understand, but we’re getting there we’re getting there lol

- that poor lady guiding them in for landing and sounding more and more worried fhkasjdlhfkjsdlahf (and he fucking TURNS OFF THE RADIO or whatever he’s using to talk to her through sdkfhaksdfhjs he takes a precious split second just to cut her off asfdjhaslkdfsdfhsda I love my salty dad)

- when the fisherman asshole tells mando he knows where to find more of his people there’s the tinkling bell sound in the background music, I think it’s meant to convey almost childlike longing for belonging and connection, for finding someone who’ll know what to do?

- when they took off their helmets and baby looked up at din like ‘???dad what the fuck? can you do that???’. (or like he just sensed his father taking a shitload of psychic damage all in one go)

- the way din didn’t start breathing again until they got the baby up from the water and he had him in his arms... the way he held him... sladfhasdklfhsjakdhfjsakldhfsakjldhfsjkadhfjaskdhfskajdhfjsdakhfslakhfskladhfsakljdhfjskadlhfkjsld

that whole scene was like a nightmare, so desperately unpleasant, in a way it mirrors the way the mandalorians have been hunted down and pummeled these last few generations, this must sort of be what it feels like to him subconsciously

- din isn’t particularly inflexible as a person, after the initial kneejerk rejection he did listen to what they said and is carefully considering it (he did say ‘this is the way’ back at the end!)

- the baby’s babbling when he wakes up and looks around in the beginning sounds half like ‘baba?’ and I almost had a heart attack

- loved how greasy and awful and dumb all the empire dudes were (and the comedy on board the ship too it was good for me)

- the boob plates huh. shit they’ve shown with the armorer that they don’t have to do that in any way shape or form and they still brought the boob plates back :/ I guess it’s so they match up with the rebels/clone wars look, evoking that ~*era*~ and everything, but I don’t have to like it lol

- I feel so validated in my theory that the razor crest is symbolic of din’s sense of self (now with beautifully added commentary!) after this haha (and also so so scared now they might be ditching it for a new ship eventually). it’s in pieces, his world view is going to pieces and can’t be patched together the way it was before, from what he knows he’s about to deliver the baby to someone else who’ll understand/love/deserve him better (I do think that feeling is still in him) and he doesn’t even have the certainty of the code anymore to fill the void. oh buddy.

the discomfort I felt when we got back into the cockpit -- into where it’s supposed to be familiar and safe! -- and saw all the ocean junk lying around, making it feel weird and changed and dirty (it probably smells like rotten seaweed in there now :( no likey)... I mean it was also very funny to see the pilot’s chair held together with a literal fishing net, but please favreau leave my dad’s car/ego alooooone

- baby laughing his little bum off at din catching the small sea monster before it got him and then munching it......... the ‘there’s nothing in this world my dad can’t fix’ safe energy.......... I’m so scared we’re coming up on something din can’t fix

- knitwear in star wars: I didn’t know I wanted it, but I am ELATED with having been given it

- moff gideon’s amazing evil voice... back in our ears, in our hearts, I gleefully hate him

- at least din’s armour is clean again after that (awful) swim? one must appreciate some silver linings along the way I suppose

- din goes straight for the main pilot’s seat once they get the imperial out of it, so he must feel really secure that he’s probably the best man for the job; he is genuinely a good pilot! (and after this I am wondering even MORE who taught him. who raised you within the mandos din??)

- even while everything is new and scary and falling apart we can live safe in the knowledge that at least frog lady and frog husband had a good day and will have a good and happy frog life together with their frog children

couple goals tbh

(I don’t necessarily know how it works for frog people but I uh. guess they got busy quickly huh hahaha good thing mando didn’t turn up again until later)

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta #I've mostly seen people love this episode so I feel a bit like a buzzkill about mostly being 'meh' about it but what can you do lol #I actively disliked a lot of the clone wars mando stuff so I'm biased I suppose

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abbystanaccount · 4 years ago

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Owen’s Aquarium Analysis

I was thinking about the various aspects of Owen’s Aquarium when it’s at its peak, during the Winter visit, and I just wanted to talk about it, throw some of my thoughts and interpretations out there.

This is where Owen has frequented for the past three years whenever he wanted to get away from the WLF. Abby has maybe been there a few times since their first discovery, but she hasn’t been in a long time. Personally I LOVE the way Owen reacts when he first sees her at the door. He’s very surprised, she asks him a question and it takes a second to answer because he’s busy thinking of how happy he is that she showed up at his home, the place he’s found solace in for the past few years.

The Aquarium is basically representative of Owen’s mind and his headspace. Owen’s in a pretty good spot when Abby comes to visit him in this flashback. He has games set up, he’s completely cleaned up the Aquarium trying to making it homey. But the fantastical set up is also a bit of a façade, Owen still has some issues with where he is in the world. His relationship with Mel is good (she can be really sweet sometimes), but Owen is hesitant to talk about Mel because whenever Abby is here, that’s all he can really focus on. When Abby gets there, all he wants to do now is hang out with her because he missed her. They’re playful, bantering, flirting a little, giving each other a hard time, it’s the Abby/Owen way 😌. He has a “selective memory”, and this Aquarium has many of his good memories.

The hooch. In this flashback and the present we see Owen drinking his homemade hooch, here it’s in celebration that Abby came to visit, later it’s because he’d drowning his sorrows. The fact that he makes his own alcohol, has a beer pong table, and can stand the taste of the hooch while Abby can’t, points to him drinking at least somewhat frequently.

I’d also like to equate the hooch to his dreams of sailing away from it all and finding the Fireflies again. Owen has been making his own hooch and has also been trying to convince the other Salt Lake Crew that they should all look into the leads about the Fireflies. Up at the cafe when he offers Abby some, he enjoys it and he invites her to stay and see the view, Abby rejects both things like she did his notion of finding the Fireflies. Later on the boat he is consumed in his idea to leave and find the Fireflies (parallel to his drinking), then when he offers Abby some and to come sail away she declines.

Owen’s mural... he adds to Max’s mural and creates Salt Lake City on the wall, you can see the zebra’s and giraffe’s from Abby and Ellie’s memories in the foreground. The zebra memory and being in St Mary’s with Abby before Joel arrived were the last real happy memories they had, the last time they were still innocent and carefree. Owen memorializes these happy times through his art and puts it in a place he can look at frequently.

Abby also has a similar landscape painting she took from her dad’s office, it might also but of Salt Lake City, so she much like Owen kept those memories close. However I don’t know if Owen painted this one too, might be a little weird to paint your supervisor and secret gf’s dad a painting, idk. 🤷‍♀️

In relation to the Aquarium being like Owen’s mind, Owen projects to the world he’s happy with Mel, he tries to not think about Abby and get hung up on her, but because she still exists, she’s still around, that’s very hard for him. He is hesitant to write Abby on the board even though he says Mel won’t care, he knows that Mel will a bit, because it’s announcing that Abby was here. I feel like it had often been a discussion between Owen and Mel whether or not Owen was over Abby and Owen tried to convince her and himself he was, but it’s really not true.

Owen is a really sweet and creative person, he’d much rather be chilling in his Aquarium, getting it nice, or painting a mural or sketching (like his drawing of Abby). He warms up the entire place, except for maybe the hole in the roof he thinks it too much work to finish. That’s probably very true, he is only one guy, but even besides the hole Owen shows an intense dedication to making the place fun, he lugged over party supplies seemingly by himself.

Owen also doesn’t let anyone really know about the Aquarium. Manny only knew at the end because Abby told him, and Nora only knew from Manny. So for years it was just Owen’s thing. He offers to let Abby come “if she’s nice to him,’ he does want to share with her. It’s open to interpretation that maybe she never returned until this point because of her “skeleton” comment but I don’t like that so I like to think she did come back at least a few times, maybe it was less cleaned up though. It seems like since they broke up though, Owen has dedicated time to improving his Aquarium and starting anew. Once Owen starts dating Mel he eventually shows her the Aquarium and he hopes she’ll embrace it more than Abby did, which she does.

Their relationship became draining because of Abby’s revenge mission, and after they break up they both dedicate themselves to new things, Abby really ramps up her training and Scar killing, Owen tries to build a relationship with Mel and transform his Aquarium into something he can enjoy and live it. The issue there is Abby’s mission is just digging her deeper into a hole, and Owen can’t move on with Mel when Abby exists and he’s still in love and hung up on her.

This shot is pretty obvious, Abby is right in front of the Mel stocking, blocking it out. In another timeline where she wasn’t so caught up with Joel, it would have been her stocking there instead of Mel’s, Owen would have decorated the Aquarium for her and not Mel, and I think she sees that here. She’s even facing the Ferris wheel where they first ran away to. Owen is looking at this entire scene, and he can see it as well, it’s a gut punch to him that these are the circumstances.

Owen still wants Abby to move on, he was overjoyed to have her visit him, play his archery game, just chat. It’s a rude awakening when he finds out she was there to just tell him that they’d found a lead on Joel, and that she’d already told the rest of the Crew including Mel about it. He’s feeling a bit betrayed by Abby here and pressured to join them. Owen wants what Abby wants, but he already sees how much pain its caused her and he doesn’t want more people than necessary getting hurt. But everyone else already said they would go and at one point or another he promised Abby they were in this together, and he’d never go back on his word for her.

I just want to touch on the state of the Aquariums when we see it, when we first see the Aquarium it’s not really Owen’s yet, it’s been abandoned and he had yet to put his work into it. Then three years later, it’s full his and representative of who he is. We see it after Jackson too, but it’s much more subdued and dreary because he’s been suffering mentally. If you focus on Owen during the Joel torture scenes you can really see how shook he was seeing Abby shoot Joel’s leg off, and he had to leave the room with Mel while she tortured Joel. Owen blames himself for not stopping her on this revenge quest, she’s finally doing it and it’s horrible to watch.

Afterwards, Owen has retreated from others completely. The others are pissed at him when he disagreed about letting Ellie and Tommy go. How Abby behaved scared him. He doesn’t even want the new life with Mel, he just wants out of here by himself, everything else is too painful. When he shoots Danny, Owen realizes leaving is his only option is to go because he can’t stand to be in the WLF anymore. Owen wants to go back to a time when he was happy and working towards a real cause: the Fireflies. He still faces major hurdles though, the boat is broken and the WLF are going to come after him. Abby finds him curled up, retreated as far as he can go into his safe place. Waiting for someone to come and kill him for what he did.

Then last time we go to the Aquarium, it is completely silent, eerie, and dead, Owen’s dreams of escaping to a better, happier life, shattered.

Sorry to end it on depression but that’s how it is 💔 except in happier au’s like mine lol.

Also side note, Abby saying “of course” when she sees the boat light on and not assuming he’s in the cafe or something, makes me think they returned there together at some point and more spent time there. So maybe that’s a less sad note.

#meta #analysis #Owen Moore #abby x owen #owen

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rhubarbbaby · 4 years ago

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Strawberries and Art 3

Jihoon x Y/N

Genre: College AU, Fluff Word Count: 5k Summary: Like every passionate art student, you spent most of your time immersed in your drawings and paintings. The day you meet Jihoon, your everyday life suddenly gets a lot more exciting…

All chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

Chapter 3

You woke up to the exaggeratedly loud chirping of a bird that seemed to be sitting right on your window sill. What was it even doing there? Rude. Rolling to your side, the first rays of sunshine fell onto your face. Not wanting to open your eyes just yet you let the warmth linger on your face. As your consciousness slowly tore itself free from the claws of the dreams, you wouldn´t be able to remember in a second, you realized you were still wearing the jeans from last night. Last night…Last night…Jihoon. Suddenly everything that happened hit you like bricks.

Did Jihoon really walk you home? Had he really held your hand? For a moment you thought you were messing up remaining pieces of your dreams with reality but then you remembered the text he had sent you before you fell asleep. Prying your eyes open you looked at your phone. The text was still there, staring back at you, still unanswered. (You also had 4 unread messages from Jo but you couldn´t care less right now)

Unknown: I just got home. Goodnight, Sweetie. Don´t forget to drink lots of water!

Sweetie. You knew you wouldn´t be getting used to that soon. When he had called you Sweetie last night you felt so taken aback because maybe for the first time in your life, you had enjoyed a guy calling you by a pet name. He had sounded so honest, in a certain way even serious, he had sounded so different from all those boys who were calling girls by all those sickly sweet things just to get into their pants, belittling them in the process. He had been so incredibly considerate. The way his voice had seemed to have gotten a tad bit deeper when saying it, the way you could practically hear him smirking, it was sheer impossible getting used to something like that.

After you had saved his contact you stared at your phone. Simply seeing his name on your screen made your heart, not jump, but it did make a distinct little hop. With a big sigh you let yourself fall back onto your mattress. What crazy ass romantic movie parallel universe have you stumbled into? Meeting a guy you were interested in, was already a rare occurrence. But meeting a guy you were interested in, who was also showing interest in you (AND CALLED YOU SWEETIE) was something that only happened once in a blue moon.

You knew you had to send him a reply. It didn´t help that you were reading his message over and over again, hearing his voice in your head. You needed to focus. Just because you didn´t have to look him in the eyes, and didn´t have to actually form words with your mouth, just because you simply had to type it, you did only spend about 5 minutes coming up with a (you hoped) funny text.

You: Hey! I fell asleep yesterday. With my clothes still on! Like I actually wore jeans to sleep. That´s like fucked up. Anyways, thank you for texting me :) I had so much fun last night.

After hitting send you instantly threw your phone onto your bed. You were scared of him answering right away. Scared but also excited but also scared. Giggling to yourself because you were aware of how dramatic you were handling the entire situation you decided to get up and start with your day. It was only eight and you made an agreement with yourself not to think about him until after breakfast because having a crush on a (extremely beautiful and funny and handsome and hot) boy who you had just met two days ago was ridiculous, or so you told yourself. Taking a shower, brushing your teeth, putting on clean clothes… your undertaking was going well, you hadn´t thought of him, at least not directly. You had thought of not thinking about him…and you counted that as a win. During breakfast you decided to check Jo´s messages.

Jo: Did you use condoms??

Jo: Did you get home safely?

Jo: Is he staying over?

Jo: Are you ok?

You couldn´t help but laugh at how excited she was about the whole situation. She probably had been annoying Hansol with it all evening. Poor man.

You: Yup I got home very safely. And no he didn´t stay over.

You: We had so much fun tho.

You: Did you get home safely?

She answered within two minutes.

Jo: Don´t you dare make this about me. I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

Jo: Did you kiss?

You: No we didn´t. But we held hands.

Jo: CUTE. When will you see him again?

You: I don´t know yet. I hope soon.

Jo: I hope so too. I´m already planning the marriage.

You: omg stop it…LOL

Just after you had hit send, you felt your phone vibrate with a new text. Of course it was from Jihoon. Without an ounce of hesitation you practically threw your phone next to you on the couch. You did not want to look at it. Actually, you did. But you needed to physically prepare yourself for reading what he had messaged you. You could feel your heart oh so clearly in your chest. How ridiculous it was that you reacted this way just because of a goddamn text…Calm down. You took a deep breath in and out.

Before reading his new message (and it wasn´t just one!!!! There were three of them) you reread what you had last written.

You: Hey! I fell asleep yesterday. With my clothes still on! Like I actually wore jeans to sleep. That´s like fucked up. Anyways, thank you for texting me :) I had so much fun last night.

Deep breath in. And out.

Jihoon: Hahahahaha yes Y/N, that is fucked up.

Jihoon: But I´m pretty sure you still looked cute.

Jihoon: You wanna get lunch tomorrow after class?

HOLY FUCK. This was real. You just got asked on a date by one of the most beautiful boys you had ever seen. Yes, you had already held hands yesterday, but there had been alcohol involved and people do a lot of things when they´re drunk. But all of your past overthinking just turned out to have been utterly pointless because Jihoon wanted to see you again. And he had called you cute. Your entire face was burning and your stomach seemed to do some weird gymnastic exercises.

You did not have to think long before typing your answer.

You: I´d love that :)

Jihoon: Awesome. I´ll show you my favorite place.

He actually wanted to show you his favorite place. Your heart was still beating way too fast and the blush on your face was still very visible but at the same time you felt a calming warmth spread through your stomach. You remembered you had felt so comfortable talking to him last night and for some dumb cliché romantic movie reason you felt like you had already known him for years. And now he wanted to show you his favorite place. That was a big hell of a deal. You couldn´t stop smiling.

After dumbly grinning at the ceiling for several seconds you scolded yourself. You couldn´t just be lying around all day daydreaming about a boy. Sighing you remembered that today, you had to finally start with your portrait assignment. It was already due on Wednesday. You needed it to be good. Your professor was very supportive and had been pushing you to become better. Disappointing her was the last thing you wanted to do. But you didn´t even know who you wanted to draw yet…some random celebrity was just boring…a family member maybe? But you had all drawn them before already. Burying your face in your hands you sat on your couch. After about fifteen minutes you reluctantly started sketching your mother´s face. You´ve drawn her face so many times already, it was nothing special. You weren´t satisfied with your choice at all but you couldn´t think of someone better at the moment.

When you realized it was already getting dark outside you stared down at the lines you had been working on for basically the entire day. You didn´t like it. Far back in your head you knew that other people would label your work as good, maybe even great, but you just couldn´t bring yourself to like it. The facial features you were trying to portrait just didn´t seem right to you. You only had so many good pictures of your mother and remembering every single wrinkle and mark on her face was harder than you thought. The way the lines were flowing over the paper didn´t look right, it didn´t look like you had drawn them. You were aware that every artist had days like this, but the deadline was next week and you simply didn´t have the time to start over. Also you had a date tomorrow. How the fuck were you going to survive the next days?

Before going to bed you forced yourself to lay out the clothes you wanted to wear for tomorrow. You weren´t exactly a morning person and you knew you´d panic if you had to find an outfit to wear right after waking up. An outfit Jihoon was going to see you in…

You fell asleep thinking of tomorrow, a mixture of anxiety and anticipation making your stomach feel weird.

The first thing you did, after waking up the next day, was to check your phone:

Jihoon: You still up for lunch today?

Jihoon: 1pm in front of the arts building?

You: I´ll be there!

After having typed an answer, you got dressed, grabbed all your things and left your apartment. You weren´t one of those people who got up an hour earlier to do yoga or whatever bullshit normal people do in the morning. Every day you woke up only twenty minutes before your first lecture started. Every single second of sleep counted.

While you were walking you got a message from Jo.

Jo: You up for breakfast after the second lesson? You need to tell me everything!!!!

You knew she was probably already dying from curiosity. She was too nosy for her own good. But you had mercy.

You: Sure!

You were actually looking forward to telling Jo everything. You still couldn´t believe what had happened yourself, maybe it would become more real through finally saying everything out loud. Your first two lessons you spent listening to the professor talk about Paul Cézanne and, for some reason, reciting every last unnecessary detail of his private life. You decided that the only important piece of information from this lecture was that some of Cézanne´s landscape paintings were sort of pretty.

When you finally sunk down in the chair opposite of Jo´s you were already grinning. You simply could not wait for her reaction to everything. She immediately leaned forward while leaning on her elbows. “Start already” “Oh my god. Can´t I just relax for a second.” “NO.” You had to giggle at her urgency. “Alright, alright…”

After you had told her everything, from the long talk the two of you had had, over the way he had made you blush continuously, to when he had walked you home and had given you his phone number she just said, “That´s so unbearably cute and romantic it´s disgusting.” You couldn´t help but laugh out loud at her remark. “You two are so sickeningly romantic I wanna die. Why can´t you be as cool as me and Hansol?” she was grinning. “First of all, we´re not a couple and second of all, you two are at least as disgusting!” you were laughing. “You realize mine and Hansol´s first date was when I drank too much and he had to hold my hair while I was throwing up?” “Yeah. I know the story.”, you were still laughing. She continued anyway “And then he drove me home. And he kissed me even though I had just thrown up minutes ago. Ok, now that I think of it, maybe our first date was even more disgusting. I´ll shut up.” Both of your laughter was carried through the entire cafeteria. The other people, who were most likely just trying to have a calm morning were probably already, annoyed by the both of you but you couldn´t care less. “Also. I kinda maybe have a lunch date with him later.” “You´re kidding!!!!!” You just shook your head and smiled. “Oh my god, I´m dying this is the cutest shit. I´m sooo happy for you. Are you nervous?” “So fucking much. But I can´t wait to see him again.”

The rest of your classes passed rather quickly. Not being the biggest fan of auditory learning you were happy about it, but at the same time you couldn´t help getting more nervous every time the hand of the clock on the wall moved. Rationally you knew you were being silly. There was nothing to worry about. You were only going on a date with the most attractive guy you´ve ever seen, who is able to make you blush with just a raise of his eyebrow. There was totally nothing to worry about. Fuck.

When you classes had ended you still had fifteen minutes before you were meeting Jihoon. You were so nervous, your hands were shaking and you didn´t have the faintest clue how you would be able to form a straight sentence later. You slipped through the door into the girl´s bathroom. You washed your hands with cold water while staring at your own face in the mirror. The last time you had spoken to him, you had been drunk, there was no doubt the alcohol had helped you with your anxiety. Today you were on your own. Why did you always have to be so nervous? With one long breath and a last look in the mirror, you were actually happy with how your hair fell today; you pushed yourself away from the sink and made your way to your meeting place.

Through the glass front of the building you could see him standing next to that weird sculpture, which the seniors from last year had designed, in front of the building. He was looking at his phone. Every step you took made you even more nervous (how was that even possible?). How were you going to greet him? Hug him? Shake his hand?? NOoo, what the fuck that´d be way too formal. Why were you thinking bullshit like that? You took a deep breath, put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and opened the door. He still hadn´t seen you.

“Hey.” You called softly, loud enough for him to realize it was meant for him. “Hey you.” He looked up and if you weren´t mistaken, his eyes lit up when he saw you, a sparkle that you were sure you could watch all day. But maybe it was just the sun reflecting in his eyes (it was not). You were now standing in front of him, unsure what to do. He smiled at you; put his phone away in his back pocket and then he pulled you into a hug. Your first hug. And holy fuck, a hug shouldn´t be a big deal but it definitely felt like it. It wasn´t one of those hugs people gave because they thought it was expected of them. His hug was tight and you could actually feel his hands on your back. Jihoon´s embrace was so soft, so affectionate. You actually felt like you were stuck in one of Claude Monet´s paintings. Gentle, colorful, overwhelming, so beautiful, yet realistic and real. You smiled, thinking of that comparison. Neither one of you noticed the students leaving the building smiling at you because the hug was obviously too long for a hug to be considered normal. He felt so warm and safe, and when you wrapped your arms around him even tighter you briefly touched his hair, and goddamn it, it was so soft.

“It´s good to see you again.” He finally mumbled against your shoulder. “You too.” He pulled away and looked at you. He was grinning like a kid in a candy store, his eyes had disappeared and small wrinkles had appeared around his nose. It was absolutely precious. You had no choice but to smile back at him.

“You hungry?” he finally broke the silence. “A bit.” At that moment your stomach growled. (It must´ve been destiny) “A bit? I see…,” he laughed. Your cheeks flushed with a light tone of red. “Come on.” he took your hand, not giving you enough time to be embarrassed about the situation. “Where are we going?” you asked. “I promised I´d show you my favorite place.” He gently started pulling you away from the building while still looking at you, smiling. Your body still felt like there was electricity running through your veins and your face must have been still flushed red but it felt so right to hold his hand. You smiled back.

He took you to a little ramen restaurant, close to town. The front door seemed so inconspicuous that you had probably walked past it without noticing it in the past. As the two of you entered he was still holding your hand. He led you through the interior of the restaurant, where some people were already having lunch. You knew you already liked the place when you saw how diverse the clientele was. At one table sat two boys, approximately your age, stuffing their mouths full of Ramen, while at another table two businesswomen seemed to have a heated conversation. Jihoon dragged you past them, and only stopped when you were standing in a small backyard with a few tables of which only one of them was occupied by an elderly couple who were sharing a plate of what looked like Gyoza.

You chose the table for two that was the furthest away from the door and took a seat. On the way here, you had been overly focused on Jihoon, on how tightly he pressed your fingers, how he occasionally stroked the back of your hand with his thumb, the quick glances he threw at you, your undivided attention had been all on him but now that you were sitting here in this absolutely adorable backyard, you allowed your brain to briefly focus your attention on your surroundings. Climbing plants were growing up the wall of the house, carrying small pretty blue blossoms, the blue of the flowers looking especially pretty in front of the beige colored wall plaster. In the corner, where two walls from two different buildings met each other, the blue and beige mixed with a white from the neighboring wall and a light pink of some petals that were growing on bushes that were planted there. The colors alone went so beautifully together you just couldn´t help but stare. When you saw the little clay-figure of a frog in a suit sitting on the ground, as if he had to guard those bushes, you had to giggle.

“What is it?” Jihoon interrupted your thoughts. He was beaming at you as if you had just found the cure for cancer. You couldn´t have known it, of course, but Jihoon would´ve been able to watch you look at those flowers for hours on end. He was sure the way your eyes started to sparkle when looking at something beautiful was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

“Nothing really. It´s just, that frog there looks so adorable.” “What frog?” he turned his head to look at the figure himself and then continued “Oh that frog. That´s just Ferdinand.” As you were laughing at his remark, he smiled fondly at you, proud of himself for being the one bringing those sounds out of you. “Ferdinand? You serious?” you grinned, finally having caught your breath again. “Yep. He´s like my best buddy. We always have very interesting conversations whenever I come here.” “Ferdinand does seem like an intellectual to me, I bet your talks are always incredibly exciting.” At that Jihoon joined your laughter. His laughter reminded you of vacation, of secluded beaches, of evening sun, of a loaded ice cream cone, of not worrying. “Can I tell you something.” you already knew from the tone in his voice that he wasn´t going to say anything serious. “Always.” “I don´t even know Ferdinand. This is the first time I noticed him. We´re basically strangers. Hell, I don´t even know if his name is Ferdinand.” Your stomach already hurt from laughter while you held your hand in front of your mouth, trying not to laugh out loud again. “Jihoon, you are so silly.” “Oh, I know sweetie, I know.” he smiled knowingly, almost cocky as he leaned back into his chair and locked his arms behind the back of his head. You were still laughing but you had no choice but being You stunned over how easily he could go from being the sweetest and cutest human being to making you blush like crazy. It was simply not fair.

“So tell me, how was your day?” he came to your rescue. He was still smiling, enjoying the effect he had on you. When you started talking, it took you a few sentences to gain back your confidence and certainty in your voice. Your conversation was light and easy but not at all shallow. He listened to you attentively and even asked for details, you seriously felt like you were telling him the most exciting and fascinating stories he has ever heard. Maybe you really were living in a romantic movie now because he honestly was making you feel like you were the most important girl on earth right now. You only were interrupted by the waiter who quickly took your order. Talking to Jihoon felt so familiar while at the same time not. You did have the feeling of having known him for years, but you also felt like you didn´t know anything about this boy sitting in front of you. Both in a good way. He made you comfortable and curious. And because people who have a crush are blind to some things you wondered if he was feeling the same way about you.

When the waiter had dropped off the two plates of food in front of you, and you both had just taken your first bite, neither of you had to say anything. You even closed your eyes briefly and let out a short sigh. The food really was that good.

“It tastes like heaven, doesn´t it?” he cocked an eyebrow at you. “It really does. How have I never been here, I´ve been missing out on this for so long.” You sighed dramatically which made him grin. “Thank god you met me, huh?” Your gazes met, and although his remark had definitely contained a hint of cockiness, he now looked at you, as gently as if you were the most beautiful, most delicate thing he had ever seen in his life. Looking into his eyes, your heart skipped a beat, and even though you were flustered, you could simply not turn your eyes away. Because, yes, he was right, you were really happy you had met him. “Thank you so much for showing me this place. Seriously.” You finally said, your voice way too hushed to sound confident. “You´re very welcome, Y/N. I´m happy you´re here with me.”

You quickly fell back into a conversation about music. You absolutely loved listening to him talk about his passion. He got so excited talking about his work and when you mentioned that he finally had to show you some of his work, he even got a little shy. As fellow artist you understood the insecurity that came with showing other people personal works. Nothing was more relatable to you than the fear of not being able to convey to other people what you had tried so hard to express through your art, or the fear people wouldn´t even understand your kind of expression. But you also knew that any kind of art is always, in a way, a portrait of the artist himself. And when you were looking at Jihoon, listened to the way he talked, you already knew that his music was going to be just so goddamn beautiful.

The minutes you had spent talking to him had disappeared like the wind carries away seeds from a dandelion clock. The time had gone by so quickly, you hadn´t even realized that the two of you had been talking for over two hours. When the waiter came with your bill, you wanted to grab your wallet, because fuck gender roles but Jihoon was faster. You looked at him aghast, ready to tell him he really should´ve let you pay. The words already on your lips, Jihoon didn´t even let you start “I know, I know”, he held his hands up defensively “You wanted to pay and I´m sorry, well actually I´m not…” he laughed. “You didn´t even give me the time to look at the bill!” you were smiling now too but you still tried to keep your tone at least somewhat serious. “I´m sorry, sweetie.” He took your hand “What if I just let you pay next time?” You felt like the floor had been pulled from under your feet (and you were still sitting on your chair). He really wanted to see you again. You weren´t completely oblivious (only a bit) and you knew the date had been going well, but hearing him say those words was a totally different story. You nodded; he was still smiling at you. “Yes, I can live with that.” Your voice was a bit shaky. “Deal.” He was still holding your hand over the table, brushing his thumb over your knuckles.

He shortly looked down before posing his question “Ok so the thing is, I really enjoyed this and I kinda wanna keep talking to you so, do you wanna go for a walk?” And fuck you really really really really wanted to. Like REALLY. But the thought of your portrait assignment made you hesitate. You knew you still had so much work to do, hell you probably had to redo everything you drew yesterday. “I…” you started when he cut you off. “You don´t have to, Y/N. I don´t want to pressure you into anything.” he smiled softly but you could see a tiny bit of disappointment changing his features, he must´ve noticed you were a bit hesitant to answer him.

“No! I´d really love to. I love talking to you too. But I should go home to work on an assignment. It´s due on Wednesday and I´m kinda panicking because I haven´t even really started yet.” You looked down at the table where your hands were intervened. “Oh I get it. What´s the assignment?” “Basically I just need to draw a portrait of someone but I really really want it to be good. I started drawing my mom yesterday but I don´t like it. I think I don´t have enough good photos to draw her realistically and I´m not that great at drawing from memory.” “So you basically need someone to model for you.” You laughed softly, “I guess so.” “Why don´t you draw me then?” he winked at you. You blinked. Once, twice. Had he actually winked at you?? This man was going to be the death of you. Your eyes slightly widened, a blush was creeping up your neck again “You´re kidding.” “I am. Unless…” he was grinning from ear to hear. He really was enjoying your embarrassment way too much. “Also I´d say my face is pretty.” If he wasn´t holding your hand you would´ve tried hiding your face but that wasn´t an option now. “It is.” You stammered. “Did you just call me pretty?” he smirked. That was the last straw. You couldn´t take it anymore. You pulled your hand out of his grasp and hid your blushing face. “Maybe.” “I see. But I do think your face is even prettier.” He chuckled. You looked at him, that goddamn cocky grin on his slips. He knew what he was doing. Gathering all your left confidence you replied, “I can´t draw myself though.” “That´s why you should be drawing me.” “Wait, are you actually being serious?” “I´m not not serious.” He was still grinning but you could hear the earnestness in his voice. “I don´t even know what to say…” “Just say: yes Jihoon I´d love to draw your pretty face and I´ll even make your eyes a bit bigger so you´ll be even prettier than in real life.” You momentarily forgot about your heart beating this fast and your still cherry red face. You loved his eyes and how they disappeared whenever he was smiling. “What? No! Your eyes are perfect just the way they are.” “I appreciate the compliment, sweetie.” He smiled warmly at you. “But I really think we should go now, you still have to draw my portrait today.” You giggled. “I didn´t even agree yet!” He was getting up from his chair “Oh come on,” as soon as you were standing up too he reached for your hand again, “no one would turn down an offer like this.” “Jihoon, you are so full of yourself.” you laughed heartily. He over dramatically clutched his heart with his free hand. “Ow, don´t hurt me like that Y/N when I´m just trying to trick you into spending more time with me.” His blatant honesty made you speechless. You just looked at him and if you weren´t completely mistaken a tiny bit of red was covering his cheeks now too. “Fine. I´ll draw you.” “I am disproportionately delighted to hear that.” You giggled at his choice of words while squeezing his hand a bit tighter. And then the two of you were walking to your apartment, side by side, hand in hand, wearing matching grins.

Hi! It´s me, Jo. I´d like to thank you for reading my stuff! I really hope you enjoyed it. If you have any feedback, comments, requests, questions please let me know!

#jihoon x reader #woozi x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen ff #seventeen #seventeen fluff #jihoon fluff #woozi fluff #kpop ff #rhubarbbabywrites

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carry-the-sky · 5 years ago

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we drew a map to a better place

Two years after he comes back into her life, Frank asks Karen a question.

this is set in the same ‘verse as my kastle christmas fic, and it’s probably the fluffiest, most ooc thing i’ve ever written, lol. things are more than a little unsettling in the world right now, so writing this was a nice distraction from all of that. i hope everyone is staying safe and healthy, and i am sending my love to you all. <3 (the fic is also on ao3! special thinks to @ninzied for reading parts of this over!!)

He’s gone when she wakes up.

Frank’s an early riser. It’s not unusual for him to be out of the apartment before the sun is up, even on the weekend. Karen reaches toward his side of the bed out of habit, fingers sliding through empty air. The sheets are cold—he’s been gone for a while.

It isn’t until she sits up that she sees the folded up piece of paper on his pillow. She stares at it for a minute before her sleep-fogged brain registers that she should probably pick it up.

She recognizes Frank’s handwriting as soon as she opens it, and panic blooms in her stomach. Her mind jumps immediately to worst-case scenarios—his cover as Pete has finally been blown, someone's coming after him, he needs to leave town—

Her eyes skim the first lines. First things first, don’t worry. I’m fine.

Karen huffs a laugh, relief flooding through her. He knows her too well. She keeps reading.

Thought we’d try something different for our anniversary this year, maybe take a trip down memory lane. I’ve hidden a few more letters around the city—you remember the place we met to talk about a certain ex-NSA analyst?

Frank

P.S. Bring Lucy.

Karen blinks. She reads the letter again, digesting each word. He’s sending her on some kind of scavenger hunt—that explains where he’s been all morning. It’s an unexpectedly soft surprise, and her heart clenches in her chest.

There’s a thin whine from the other side of the room. Karen glances at the clock on the nightstand—it’s a little after eight, which means she slept in longer than she usually does.

“Sorry, Luce,” she says, sliding out of bed. After adopting Lucy, they had initially tried to sleep with her at their feet, but after multiple nights of her attempting to claim Frank’s side of the bed, they decided to buy her a dog bed for their room.

Lucy is curled up, but scrambles to her feet as soon as she sees Karen.

“Morning, girl,” Karen says, planting a kiss on the bridge of her dog’s nose. She slips into her robe and grabs Lucy’s leash and collar from the hall closet. They’ve been in the new apartment for over a little over a year, and it’s finally starting to feel like home. It’s a bit smaller than her last place, but it’s closer to Frank’s work, and there are no breed restrictions.

It’s far from perfect, but it’s theirs.

Once outside, Karen walks Lucy over to a small patch of grass. It’s unusually warm for this time of year—most of the snow that blew in over a week ago has melted, and the sky is a bright, cloudless blue. It’s a perfect day to be out and about in the city.

“What’s your dad up to, huh?” she asks Lucy, ruffling her ears. Most of Frank’s letters must be within walking distance of their apartment, because he’d told her to bring their dog along. Karen pulls up a mental map of their neighborhood, trying to determine which locations might be fair game—

She smiles to herself. It’s a welcome change of pace, using her investigative skills for something a bit less heavy than her work. That must have been one of Frank’s goals in setting this up for her. Her stomach churns with familiar anticipation, the thrill of chasing down a lead. At least she knows that something good is waiting for her at the end of this one.

Thirty minutes later, she and Lucy have both eaten breakfast, and she’s changed into comfortable walking clothes. They set off in the direction of the harbor.

The area is just as she remembers it. She rounds a corner and sees the two benches, and she stops for a moment. It feels like a lifetime has passed since the two of them were here—she had just found out that he was alive, and David Lieberman had him scared shitless. The thought makes her smirk. Frank has told her stories from their time spent living out of the bunker, and she knows that he now considers David one of his closest friends. So much has changed.

Lucy is eyeing a few seagulls that are perched near the water, but she comes when Karen gently tugs at her leash. There are a lot of places to hide a letter here, but Karen’s fairly sure she knows where it is. She crouches down, peering beneath the closest bench—

And sure enough, there’s an envelope taped to one of the legs.

Karen’s stomach does a pleasant little flip as she opens it and pulls out the piece of paper within.

Step carefully, the letter reads. And keep the coffee coming.

It takes her a second to piece it together. Step carefully—New York is infamous for its sidewalk grates, but most places in the city have them. That’s not particularly helpful in narrowing down a specific location—but she does know a place that serves endless coffee.

Three blocks later, she and Lucy arrive at Rosie’s Place. The local diner is a five-minute walk from Frank’s work site, and Karen has lost count of how many times they’ve met for lunch here. There’s a large metal grate leading up to the entrance, and Frank is always giving her a hard time about having to navigate it in her pumps. The infinite amount of free coffee refills makes up for that.

For a moment, she pictures another diner. She pictures Frank, bruises smudged below his eyes and the low rumble of his voice.

Karen shakes her head, and the memory dissolves. Now that she’s here, she’s not sure where to start looking. She and Frank have a corner booth they usually try to snag, but that doesn’t seem like the best place to hide a secret letter. There’s no guarantee that someone else wouldn’t find it first. Maybe he left it with one of the waiters? They’re on a first-name basis with a couple of them. It wouldn’t hurt to pop inside to check. Karen glances around, looking for a place to tie Lucy’s leash—

She stops, looking down at her dog. He told her to bring Lucy along for a reason.

Rosie’s has a small outdoor sitting area, used mostly for happy hour when the weather is warmer. Karen makes her way over to it. It’s empty now, but she notices a small water bowl by one of the chairs. Of course—she’d forgotten that the outdoor space is dog-friendly.

Lucy noses the bowl, then tilts her head, tongue lolling out of her mouth in a classic pitbull smile. “What’d you find, huh?” Karen asks, tucking a finger under Lucy’s collar and scratching at the soft patch of fur there. She lifts the water bowl gently, retrieving the envelope that has been tucked under it.

Still think I can rock a hipster beard? Look for a familiar face.

Below these words, there is a sketch of roses in a window.

She has no idea who the familiar face is referring to, but the hipster beard and roses—it’s her old apartment. He’s taking her to all the places that mean something to both of them, pieces of the city that represent the different facets of their relationship. After he came back from the dead that first time, her apartment was where she decided to help him. Even before he pulled out the roses, she knew what she would do. He was okay, he was alive—she would’ve done anything he asked to see him again.

Karen takes the long way there, sticking to main streets. The sun is warm on her skin, and she allows her thoughts to wander. Until now, she hasn’t really stopped to consider where all of this is leading, but her gut is telling her that it’s something big. She doesn’t want to get ahead of herself—she knows that Frank loves her and is committed to her, but she’s honestly never considered the possibility that marriage is something he might want again. Their life together isn’t a replacement for the one he lost, but those wounds run deep.

Karen crosses the street, and the apartment comes into view. The building looks different, maybe because it’s not her home anymore. Lucy sniffs the air, and Karen remembers with a pang that this is where she first found the dog, hungry and cold. It’s where Frank found her too, the night of New Year’s Eve. Karen gazes down at her dog fondly. She isn’t sure exactly how old Lucy is—there’s no way of knowing how long she was out on the streets—but in many ways she is still a puppy, all energy and innocence. Karen’s never been the parental type, but she thinks she’s maybe starting to understand it now. She would do anything to keep Lucy safe.

Dogs aren’t allowed in the building, so Karen knows that the letter can’t be inside, and Frank wouldn’t have left it in her old apartment if there was a new tenant. That must mean that it’s somewhere near the complex itself. She peeks down the alleyway where they both found Lucy. It’s too exposed—there’s nowhere to leave a piece of paper without it either blowing away or being seen by someone else.

Karen eyes the fire escape warily. It does seem like the type of place Frank would leave a secret note, but there’s no way she can climb it with Lucy—

That’s when she spots a poster taped to the side of the building—a poster of Foggy Nelson’s face. It’s from his campaign for District Attorney, as an official candidate this time, not just a write-in. Business at Nelson and Murdock has really taken off, but he’s been talking about making this career change for a while. Foggy is already a kickass lawyer, and Karen can only imagine the good he would do for the city in a position of authority.

She beams at his poster. He’s wearing one of his fancy suits, and he looks so professional—Karen can’t believe he’s the same goofy, shaggy-haired guy who introduced her to Josie’s and spent a night drunkenly wandering the city with her. Now that she’s looking closer, she sees the corner of an envelope sticking out from behind the poster. “Thanks, Fog,” she says, tugging it open gently.

Remember where you said you wanted an after for me? Meet you there.

Karen drags a thumb across the words, her heart painfully full. There was a time when she thought he had chosen the war for good, when she thought that the next time she saw him would be his face on the news, or in an obituary. He deserved more—she knew it, but she couldn’t force him to see it. He had to make that choice for himself.

It wasn’t an easy one. Karen knows how hard it is to live with your pain, tread its waters instead of drowning in them. But they’re both here, making that choice every single day—together.

Lucy barks, eager to keep walking. She looks hopefully up at Karen, the distinctive heart marking over her eye shining in the sunlight.

“Okay, girl,” Karen says. “Let’s go find him.”

He’s standing by the railing with his back to her. She takes the opportunity to study him, the familiar slope of his shoulders and the way the thin breeze teases his hair. It’s grown out a bit, curling slightly under his ears.

The bridge looks different in the daylight. It’s still a striking piece of architecture, arcing toward the opposite harbor. Karen lets her eyes shutter, remembering the lights reflecting on the water, the soft press of his lips to her cheek. She thinks she knew even then—what she felt for him went beyond friendship, even if she didn’t have the words to describe it yet.

Lucy pulls at the leash—she must have seen him—and Karen blinks her eyes open. Frank is still looking out over the water, but he turns as they approach.

“Hey,” he says, drawing her in to kiss her on the forehead. “Was wondering when you were gonna show up.”

She elbows him in the ribs. “So I slept in a little later than I meant to. Sue me.”

“I know just the guys for that,” Frank mutters, stooping to give Lucy some attention.

Karen leans back against the railing. “So—I found all of your letters.”

“Not all of them,” Frank says, patting Lucy’s stomach one last time before standing. “You’ve had one with you the whole time.”

Karen frowns, instinctively checking the pockets of her jeans—but Frank couldn’t have known which clothes she’d put on this morning. Her gaze falls to Lucy. When she looks back at Frank, he’s grinning.

“No way,” Karen says. She kneels down, pivoting slightly as Lucy attempts to lick at her chin. “You’ve been holding out on me, huh?”

Her hand goes to Lucy’s collar, where a small heart-shaped locket dangles. She gently eases it open, and a thin piece of rolled-up paper falls out onto the ground. She opens it slowly.

Both hands, remember? Turn around.

For a moment, she forgets how to breathe. Something is taking shape in her chest, something warm and buoyant-bright, and she feels like she might burst if she holds it in any longer.

She turns.

Frank is down on one knee. He’s holding out a ring, a simple band broken by a white rose.

“Yes,” she says, without hesitating.

Frank blinks. His mouth hangs open, as if he’s unsure of how to make it form words.

“Shit, I’m sorry—” Karen swallows a laugh, shaking her head furiously. She clears her throat, attempting to rearrange her expression into something resembling calm. “Were you going to ask me something?”

Frank makes a sound that’s halfway between a grunt and a laugh. “Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“What?” Karen says. “All I did was turn around like a normal person, and then I was absolutely silent. I said nothing.”

Frank is smiling again, and she thinks it might be the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. He ducks his head, and his eyes are a little wet when he glances up at her again.

“Karen.” His voice catches on the word. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she breathes, and before she can blink, he’s moving. His arms slide around her waist and her hands bracket his face, and then he’s pressing his lips to hers. His mouth is soft and warm, and she doesn’t care that they’re in a very public place surrounded by strangers—none of it is real, nothing exists beyond the feeling of his arms around her, the taste of salt when she parts her lips and kisses him deeper.

Lucy has other ideas. She threads between their legs, wedging them apart slightly as if to say, hey, pay attention to me.

Karen laughs, rubbing her ears. “Yeah, yeah, mom and dad are making it official. It’s very exciting.”

She meets Frank’s gaze. His lashes are rimmed with tears, and it isn’t until he sweeps his thumb across her cheek that she realizes she’s crying, too. He slowly reaches up to grab her left hand, and she watches him slide the ring onto her finger. The white rose catches the light, as if it’s winking at her.

“I love you,” Frank says, brushing his lips against her knuckles. “You know that, yeah?”

Karen tips her forehead to rest against his, pouring everything into that simple touch.

“I was starting to wonder,” she says with a smile, and kisses him again.

fun fact: i actually based this off of my own proposal! it was fun to try and apply the same idea to frank and karen. thanks so much for reading! <3

#kastle #kastle ff #kastlenetwork #kastledaily #my fic

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mythgirlimagines · 5 years ago

Note

How would the V3 cast react to Kokichi and Ryoma pulling off a totem pole trench coat? Kokichi somehow managed to convince Ryoma into doing this.

Not well lol

Kaede Akamatsu:

She was quite surprised that Kokichi got Ryoma to agree to...whatever this was.

She didn’t really see through it right away, but she had her suspicions.

Honestly, good for them, having some harmless fun.

Rantaro Amami:

This might as well just happen.

He was kind of indifferent, even if he cracked a joke or two.

He didn’t really do much about it more than that.

Kirumi Tojo:

Well, it wasn’t making a mess, so she didn’t really care.

She let them have their fun for a while.

After all, she wasn’t sure Ryoma would ever agree to that again.

Angie Yonaga:

Atua warned her about this. She knew it was them immediately!

If they weren’t on the move so often, she would’ve asked them to model for her.

Well, she could always try sketching them in motion!

Tenko Chabashira:

Of course it would be the boys doing this.

She mostly ignored their antics. There was no reason to be distracted.

After all, it was easy to tell they weren’t really one person.

Korekiyo Shinguji:

Ah, yes, the trench coat man trick. He hadn’t seen it in play before.

The motive behind it was different than what he’d heard, though.

Two of the shortest in his class just wanted to be taller. That was all.

Miu Iruma:

Many inappropriate jokes followed.

The trench coat man then ignored her and avoided her the rest of the day.

She was just trying to have some fun, though!

Gonta Gokuhara:

He thought that they were one person for a good while.

But he reminded them both that if they wanted to be taller, he could just carry them!

He didn’t mind helping them out like that. That’s what friends were for.

Kaito Momota:

He was as surprised as any that Ryoma was involved.

But good for him, getting involved in something!

Maybe something without Kokichi would’ve been better, but still.

Kiibo:

He’d never heard of the trench coat man before.

It was...interesting, to say the least.

He wasn’t really certain why they were doing what they were doing.

Tsumugi Shirogane:

Oh, she loved this! She’d seen it in a lot of different media.

Of course, it never really worked out in most of those instances…

But they seemed to pull it off just fine!

Shuichi Saihara:

Well, safe to say he wasn’t really convinced.

Though this was one of Kokichi’s less-harmful pranks, if that’s what it was.

He let it slide, though he thought that the trench coat man followed him through the day...

Himiko Yumeno:

This was, of course, lower-level magic.

She admired their attempt, but it could’ve been pulled off better.

Though maybe she was just saying that because she wanted in on it.

Maki Harukawa:

This was just stupid.

That’s all there was to it. She avoided them the entire day.

She thought Ryoma had better judgement than that.

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janishacolors · 4 years ago

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Managing Your Biggest Goals

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope everyone’s safe and well!

I’m sad I didn’t get to blog last week but my thoughts were so jumbled that it was probably for the best XDD

To summarize the last week and a half I agreed to doing a part time job and have been trying to rework my norm artwork routine aruond it. I honestly agreed to the job prior to COVID-19’s lockdown and am terrified to be outside of my house right now. It’s frustrating to have to be torn between work and safety, but I decided to keep the job until I can find something remote in it’s place. I managed to request the lightest shifts and am doing my best to stay safe while working in the meantime. All I can say is if you can help it just stay home. The way things are looking in Florida the cases are rising and we could go back into another lockdown. If that happens I’m already plotting ahead.

SO no more negative let’s talk about some positives! LETS TALK GOOOOALS! Today I’m going talk about how to manage goals . I decided to open this topic to everyone and have even made a special forum dedicated to artist goals and endeavors! I’m calling this little community the “Colorful Circle”! Wether you already have goals or not the Colorful Circle Forum is for you to determine what it is exactly you’re aiming to achieve!

https://www.janishacolors.com/forum

Definitely give it a try after reading this blog if you’d like some support with your goals! I’m also featuring other artist there too!

Whether we think about it or not Goals are a driving force in our lives. A quick search on google defines a goal as “the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.” No matter how simple or complex a goal gets, there’s always a flame of ambition at the core of it. These ambitions are kindled by a potent mix of hard work and determination! It’s not something you do just because. You have to have the ambition to make it happen. What makes goals difficult sometimes is figuring out how to keep the flames of ambition from dying out. Sometimes our biggest goals can seem really daunting especially if we don’t take the time to pace ourselves, and kindle the flame properly. If we spend all of our time fanning the flames of ambition we can get overwhelmed. Equally, if we don’t spend enough time tending to the flames of ambition we can easily become unmotivated.

So how do we manage our goals? How do we manage to keep the flames of ambition burning ? It actually just takes a few simple steps.

1. Write down and talk about your BIG goals. Sit down and talk with someone about your big goals. Make a list of all the things you want to do. (DO NOT SET ANY DEADLINES YET)

2. Once you’ve established what our key BIG goals are break them down into mini goals. You can have as many mini goals as you want but keep them as simple as possible. It’s less likely to lose motivation if you break down you goals into manageable chunks.

3. Execute your goals. This is the straightforward part of this because your mini goals are milestones within you big goal. It feels really good to complete them because they are apart of accomplishing the big goal. At this point It’s okay to start setting deadlines on your big and mini goals, but try to be as realistic as possible when setting them.

Here’s one of my current Goals for 2020 as an example for the first 3 steps(are we sure this year hasn’t been canceled xDDD)

- [ ] Original Story Stuff(Untitled Infinity)1st chapter

- [ ] Pick a name for Original Story (I’ve changed it so many time It doesn’t have a name anymore.)

- [ ] Create at least 10 different environment designs

- [ ] Create 20 creature designs

- [ ] Complete 5 unique Character Designs (sketches completed now to render them)

- [ ] Find more space related podcasts

- [ ] Watch animal documentaries (sea life specifically)

- [ ] Opening chapter pages for Original Story in July (final sketch work in progress)

Interestingly enough this is a big goal within a much bigger goal but this is a very manageable goal for me this year. If I want to slap deadlines on things I can. The only thing on this list that has a deadline is the first few pages of my story for next month. This project’s is going to follow me the next two years during college so I’m not setting any major deadlines until I get further into the goal.

4. There’s one final step for all of this goal work. ACCOUNTABILITY! It’s a scary word I know, but all you have to do is share your goals with others around you. Have a buddy to keep in check with how your goals are coming along. You also have to check in on yourself too. Keep goals at the forefront of your mind. Never be ashamed of them, and embrace the journey that can unfold.

And there you have it a simple method for managing goals! I hope this helps. Keep in mind that these are my personal methods to setting up goals and If you’d like to share your methods you’re more than welcome to discuss here or even share some tips in the Colorful Circle forum!

Next week I’ll share my goals in depth for real lol! In the meantime you can see my goals and progress on the Colorful Circle Forum as well!

Until next week Stay tuned!

#art #art blog #art advice #artist thoughts #art goals #goalsetting #goals #personal goals #art help #attention artists #artist advice

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miximax-hell · 5 years ago

Photo

...This should have been published the 10th of January. I queued it ages ago (back when my last post was published), but Tumblr farted and decided not to post it. Which is just fantastic. It’s not the first time it decides to screw up the queue, but it’s the first time it happens to me on this blog. So annoying. This means it’s coming a few days late, but I hope you all still had a fantastic EnYaga Day!

As I prepared for True EnYaga Day back in October, I found again this old doodle of mine--the base for what would later become the final design of EnYaga. I thought it might be fun to share it and use it as an excuse to talk about this subject AGAIN, and... that was good enough for me, really.

You guys know me and there’s probably very little reason to do so, but I have never really talked about the reasons behind this miximax, have I? Well, if there is a day to indulge in that, it’s EnYaga Day, so let’s get to it!

As usual, more under the cut.

Despite Tumblr’s betrayal, this does have a perk: I get to revise this post before it’s published, which is great, because I’m happy to report that things are better now than when I first wrote it. In the original version, I mentioned that my life at the time was a little... paused, so there wasn’t really a lot to say. Among the only news worth sharing, I sent an oil painting to a friend a couple of months ago and it arrived very fast and completely safe, so that was great! It was a Professor Layton-themed painting, but now that I don’t have it at home anymore, I’m tempted to make another one... (If I do, chances are more FudoLay content will arrive here swiftly after lol) Other than that, I’d just started my classes again, but I was still desperately looking for a job. At least, classes made me feel like I wasn’t completely wasting every single day, so I was more cheerful than I was during summer. (Funny, because my group of friends at uni used to say that they could only smile during summer, but I was pretty miserable during those months. ww;)

Thankfully, though, I can say I now have a job! And it’s great!! ...The conditions aren’t so great, but at least I’m back to work as a game designer. I’m learning so much and I feel very motivated to work, even if it’s technically a collaboration and I will only get money once the game is published--in other words, when the game starts bringing money our way. This is far from ideal, but I honestly had no other options and I’m having a blast working on this, so I hope something cool will come out of it! For now, I would ask you to keep your eyes on Eskema Games and maybe check out the company’s latest game, Delta Squad? I had absolutely NOTHING to do with that game because it was released way before I joined, but supporting it supports the company I work for, which always comes in handy! It also underperformed, so it could use all the love you guys can give it.

Also, let me quickly point something out: about a year ago, an anon asked me if i was going to include Danganronpa characters in this project. The question is here, in case anyone needs a reminder: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/181991994534/hey-there-since-youre-doing-miximaxs-with-game Well, I FINALLY got my hands on the DR Trilogy for PS4, so I’ll be looking into that and seeing what I can find! If that anon is still around, I hope I can make them happy.

But let’s cut to the chase already!

As I always make sure to clarify, yes, I do massively ship Endou and Yagami. But there’s thankfully much more to EnYaga (the miximax--if I need to talk about the ship again, I’ll just call it Endou x Yagami) than just “yeah, I ship them.” In order to understand the reasons behind this combination, though, we must venture into two very different subjects: what reasons there are to choose Yagami to begin with, and the life story of yours truly. I swear both are important to get the full picture, but I’ll keep the latter as brief and free of unnecessary information as possible, even if it’s definitely the longest and most complex part. So, without any further ado, let’s see what makes this miximax valid within the logic of this project.

A big chunk of what makes EnYaga work was explained exactly three years ago, here: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/131215636268/when-the-king-enters-the-room-the-world-stops-and

The tl;dr would be that Endou plays as a goalkeeper, but also as a libero! Being such radically different positions, it’s to be expected that he would need two different miximaxes, because it would be rather difficult to find an aura that improves his field skills (shooting power, speed, etc.) and his goalkeeping abilities at the same time. Thankfully, Yagami gives him the exact abilities a good libero needs to be able to excel--especially when that libero has the pressure of being part of most of the strong hissatsus the team can pull off. So, for more info on EnYaga’s powers, please check the link above. (And note that, of course, this miximax only marginally improves Endou’s goalkeeping capabilities.)

I have also talked in length about the relationship between Endou and Yagami, but here’s a very brief summary. During the in-game events of IE2, Endou gave Yagami hope when all she wanted was to die to atone for her sins, thus saving her life in the process. In return, she wanted to give him the strength to fight when he needed it most as a way to repay his kindness towards her.

Yagami’s innate abilities and the bond they share are the more logical reasons behind this miximax. There is, however, one extra reason to include this miximax in the project.

There have always been three main rules here when it comes to choosing auras:

1. Only characters that come from universes predominantly inhabited by humans (or very human-like creatures, like Zelda’s Hylians).

2. Only one character from every franchise, unless they are Level-5 franchises. In that case, I may use up to two per franchise. Examples of this are Danball Senki/Little Battlers eXperience (with Toramaru and Megane) and Professor Layton (with Fudou and Shishido).

3. One aura coming from every single (and proper) Inazuma Eleven game on the market. Those being Inazuma Eleven, IE2: Fire, IE2: Blizzard, IE3: Spark, IE3: Bomber, IE3: Ogre, IEGO: Light, IEGO: Dark, IEGO Chrono Stone: Raimei, IEGO Chrono Stone: Neppu, IEGO Galaxy: Supernova, IEGo Galaxy: Big Bang, Inazuma Eleven Strikers, IE Strikers 2012 XTreme, and IEGO Strikers 2013. I’m not counting Everyday, SD nor unreleased titles. So far, I have 7 out of 15.

From the beginning, I have wanted Endou to have nothing but Inazuma Eleven-only miximaxes. I mean, he’s the main character and all!

Needless to say, Yagami is part of the Inazuma Eleven miximaxes--in fact, she takes the IE2 Blizzard spot, if anyone is curious about that very specific detail. She is obviously a very predominant character in that game, having a relevant impact during the final match against The Genesis and even (spoiler alert for a 10 years old game) by injuring Kazemaru earlier, because he didn’t just leave like he did in the anime--Yagami sent him to the hospital when he started matching The Genesis’s power. Since she’s a main character in that game, and considering that many of the other important characters introduced in it become part of the teams that make up this project (such as Hiroto, Midorikawa and maaaybe Saginuma), Yagami was the perfect candidate. She was also arguably the strongest among the remaining main characters of IE2, and the only midfielder. Not to mention the bond she shares with Endou, which only rounds it all up even more.

So, as a brief summary, Yagami is an Inazuma Eleven character (which is exactly what I wanted for Endou) and a very strong player, she provides Endou with everything he would need to be a good libero (incredible speed, great shooting strength, being a midfielder and the stamina that inherently comes with it, powerful hissatsus, and so on), she shares a canonical bond with Endou, the contrast between their personalities is super interesting to explore, and there are reasons why even she would want him to take her power. He can hardly have it better! It makes a lot of sense, and it’s all heavily based on canon, so I don’t need to explain much in that regard. That’s always convenient.

But there is another side to all of this. My side.

I first started working on miximaxes with the idea of only making 4 or 5. I simply meant to give extra love to some of my favourite characters to make myself and a few friends happy. This never became a full-fledged project until my good friend Heather, who used to be on Tumblr under the username @ishidoshuuji, said she wanted to be able to reblog the Seitei x Yuuichi miximax I had drawn for her. In other words, this: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/129863262149/well-it-was-about-time-i-started-using-this-blog

Before that, miximax-hell used to be a private blog: one of those you can only check out if you have the password. I never thought ANY stranger would be interested in it, so why expose myself like that? It would only make me feel bad. I could have never imagined over a hundred people would follow me here, and even less so considering that only about 10 of my friends follow this blog. So I have to thank Heather because, even if 100 isn’t a big number at all here on Tumblr, I still appreciate each and every person who stops by and it’s helped me meet some incredibly lovely people.

Back to the subject, though. This story is directly linked to MamoDai’s. The important part of it was that EnYaga’s design isn’t mine, and so isn’t MamoDai: the former is completely not mine (even if, as the sketch above suggests, the concept was first doodled by me), while the latter was only partially mine. The thing, though, is that the same person made EnYaga and “collaborated” on the creation of MamoDai, which meant I let them into this very personal solo project twice. If you want to check out the full story, though, you can read it here: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/142160652319/you-should-have-seen-this-one-coming-come-on

As I was saying, miximax-hell is a solo project. It’s something for me to enjoy, for me to think about, for me to develop, for me to improve at designing character, and for me to decide on. I set the rules and I come up with suitable matches--or what I think are suitable matches, that is. ww I’m definitely open to suggestions if anyone is willing to share their thoughts with me, and fanart is always, always, ALWAYS welcome, of course, but I don’t borrow other people’s ideas nor designs. Not because those designs and ideas aren’t fantastic, nor because I’m not allowed to, but because the point of this blog is to have fun and improve my skills. If I don’t do it myself, it’s kind of pointless, so I prefer a bad design made by me over a great design by someone else. Also, if people were to check all of these things out, I wanted it to be because of my work, not because someone super well-known was part of it and people were desperate to get more content from them.

When I first came up with this project, though, someone very close to me wanted to be part of it. Not because they found it interesting per se, but simply because it was mine. I had previously declined an offer to join one of their projects because I lacked the necessary skill, so they wanted to join mine instead. And don’t get me wrong--I appreciate the interest even now! But, again, it beat the point and I had to refuse. Looking back, I’m very glad I didn’t give in, but I felt awful back then and this person must have felt really bad too.

That’s why I made that exception and suggested, “Hey, why don’t we create a miximax together?” That’s how MamoDai was born. But while the interest in working on MamoDai seemed... scarce, this person came up with and gave me something out of their own accord: the EnYaga miximax design I still use to this day.

Now, here’s the thing: EnYaga was a proper gift that person made for me, and I always honour gifts. If it had been a random doodle, like I have received others in the past, it would have ended there. But when someone puts true effort and time into making something especifically FOR ME, regardless of what happens between us later, I still treasure it forever. And this gift came from a person who, apparently, really wanted to be part of this project when I first came up with it, which, honestly, put me in a tight spot. The least I could do was accept this design, which I loved almost as much as I loved them, and incorporate it to my lineup.

EnYaga was going to happen regardless, because I was working on it myself, but this person beat me to it (with such incredible quality, too, which I would never be able to hold a candle to) and, after what I made them go through with my continuous rejections, I had to honour them somehow. It was my way of saying, “I can’t let you do this for me, but I deeply appreciate the thought.”

This person is now out of my life, though. This means that, honestly, I could just get rid of the design. They would never know, and I would be happier with something of my own even if it sucked in comparison. They would never feel offended either--not like they would even if they knew, because it’s obvious they don’t care about me anymore. It would be easy and 100% painless for all parties involved.

But EnYaga is a token of the bond we once shared and I treasure that, even though I don’t want anything to do with that person anymore. It portrays the fun and happy times, not the sad and bitter ending. Happiness is always something worth remembering, isn’t it? And maybe, just maybe, thanks to the wonderful people I’m close to and my eternal love towards Endou x Yagami, I might one day be able to completely forgive the bad and focus on the good, so I can smile when I look at EnYaga and think of this person. I look forward to a day when there isn’t an ounce of bitterness left in my heart (although I am one revengeful and spiteful piece of poo, so it might never happen). And for that possibility alone, it might be worth it to keep making this one exception and let this miximax be someone else’s. Especially now that I have DoYaga to call my own.

So that’s it, folks: not only do Endou and Yagami make for a sick combination in theory, but it’s also a miximax with deep sentimental value for me in so many different ways. So even if it had been someone else’s idea and the two characters were a terrible match in all senses, chances are I would have still kept it. Thank goodness it wasn’t the case. ww

And all because I didn’t finish the design fast enough on my own. May that be the lesson to learn from this: hurry the heck up, self.

#Inazuma Eleven #Endou Mamoru #miximax #mixi max #Original Raimon #Aliea Raimon #Inazuma Japan #reasons behind the miximax #sketch #info #inazuma eleven ares #inazuma eleven ares no tenbin #inazuma eleven orion #inazuma eleven orion no kokuin

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leviathiane · 5 years ago

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SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE)

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/)

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units)

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch:

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell.

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine.

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include:

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8]

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9]

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame.

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything.

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

#depths' ask #response #idk what to even tag this honestly?? this post is such a mess abhdsjfgdkjn #thanks mido love u dear 💕🎉 im gonna want some damn notes on second chances heads up #wror #wror stockpile #touchmycoat #i started this response at goddamn 3:52am and its now 4:40am #it took me. almost an HOUR #oh my god

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diverse-hearts-a · 5 years ago

Note

✂ for Garth

Send me ‘✂’ and my muse will kill yours. Right now. Brutally, horribly, bloody. Just do it.

Graphic Death Follows Below - Proceed with Caution (this boy has a lot of issues with this muse lol)

Maybe he was more like his father than he would have liked to admit. Maybe there had always been then part to him, this murderous insist that had always wished to take flight and attack the throat of the man who had abused him for so many years, who haunted his nightmares, who was part of the reason as to why scars marked the length of his arms. Or perhaps he had just finally snapped. It’d been an unwritten but understood rule that his room was his sanctuary. In there he was safe. It was inside headquarters and half the time he spent in there was just to keep safe but it was a room that had forever been known to be separated from this hate that flowed between the two of them, so when Garth had entered his room and found it in a state of destruction and a certain asshole sitting on the edge of his bed, casually ripping out sheets of paper from the only memento he had of his mothers - he just saw red.

With a pained cry, he’d kicked the door shut, throwing knives appearing in his hands as he quickly tossed them in Dazai’s direction, the blades more or less being used as a distraction more than anything as he throws his thin, broken frame against Dazai, knocking him to the ground, hands gripping tightly around Dazai’s neck as his ruby gaze glared down at brown with only hate written in his eyes. He couldn’t use his bells. They wouldn’t work on someone like Dazai and in some way, perhaps the elder should be thankful for such. How he would have loved to have simply destroyed that mind of his. To watch as his mind slowly fell apart from the inside out. it may have been too much of toil on his own body but it would have been worth it. To watch as he just went insane under his influence. A scream of surprise broke free as he found himself being rolled over, head hitting the ground hard as hands were wrapped around his own neck, Garth gasping out in surprise. No. He wasn’t about to let him get his way. Not again. Not inside this room. Not after what he’d just taken the liberty to destroy. With a bit of effort, he managed to stretch out and grab one of the throwing knives to have been used as a distraction earlier, stabbing hard into Dazai’s back and gasping for air as his neck was finally freed from the others grasp. Tears filled his eyes as he sprung to his feet, kicking hard into Dazai’s side, again and again, screaming out whenever he was pulled to the ground, hands wrapping around the hilt of the dagger in the others back. Each time he was pulled down, a new hole was created in the bastards back, until Dazai managed to fight back enough for the knife to slice across one of Garth’s cheeks, the blade flying across the room as the younger struggled to his feet, holding a hand over the cheek, ruby gaze locking on the sinister smile on the others face. And that was about when he snapped, or at least it’s when he thought he had. His hand had fallen onto a lighter that had fallen off the shelf and onto the bed. He usually used candles to help himself relax at times, his heart racing inside his ears as he grabbed the lighter and ran once more at Dazai, struggling to knock him down to the ground - right next to a pile of torn-up sketches and books to have been laid to one side. Already, the paper was stained with both of their blood, Garth hesitating for a split second before lighting the lighter and tossing it into the pile, hands tightly gripping Dazai’s shoulders down against the ground, pushing his head closer and closer to the growing flames, a crazed like expression present on his face. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Dazai was kicking and struggling to break free and Garth’s hands were getting burned slowly by the flames as he pushed Dazai into the hot inferno but he didn’t care. He barely expected to escape from this room alive, but if it meant this monster would no longer be in this world then it would be more than worth it. The fire was spreading, smoke was building inside the room but his prize had finally been given too - Dazai’s hair and bandages soon catching on fire, the smell of burnt flesh being like nothing he’d ever smelt before, the warmth of the fire licking at his own skin as he sat back, laughing weakly to himself, watching as the source of his nightmares melted away in the flames around them.@jxngsterunterboss

#jxngsterunterboss #Verse 01 - Bell Ringer - Main Verse - BSD #Muse: Garth #tw: blood #tw: trauma #tw: fire #tw: burned alive #tw: character death #tw: self hate #//ask to tag

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daechwitayoongs · 7 years ago

Text

MIDNIGHT YOUTH III

Reader x Jeon Jungkook // HighSchool!AU // 3.3K words

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Language

01 02 03

A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, I was feeling a bit dodgy about towards the end of the chapter but after getting my bff to read it she reassured me that I should just post it as is so that’s exactly what I’m doing..lol anyways as always feed back is appreciated x

It’s been over a week since you’ve spoken or seen your mom but you know she’s been visiting you because when you come back from physical therapy there’s always apples cut with little bunny ears waiting for you. Mina, your attending nurse also said she comes sees you while you’re sleeping and asks for updates about your condition. You know you were in the wrong to speak to your mom like that but you can’t find it in you to apologize. She’s your mom, you think it’d be simple to just confess and say you’re sorry but you don’t even know where to begin.

As your physical condition has greatly improved, you’re now able to walk on your own, well kind of since you use a walker to get around but at least you’re able to visit your brother. Nurse Mina got the doctor to approve letting you see him, in hopes that he’d react to your voice, though you haven’t had much luck yet you still believe Joon is listening and one day he’ll respond.

“Joonie, I know every time I come see you, I always apologize but I promise when you finally wake up I won’t do anything that’ll require me to say sorry to you anymore. I’ll be the best sister ever, so please, can you wake up soon? because I don’t want to be left again, I don’t want to be all alone...” You then remember the photograph of you and the boy, you were wearing a bracelet with his initials, you quickly look at your wrists but there’s nothing there. Was it really only a dream? It felt so real, it couldn’t be just a dream.

“Y/n-ah, it’s time to go back to your room..” Nurse Mina says as she helps you

“Nurse Mina, when I came in the day of the accident what happened to what I was wearing?”

“Your clothes were all bloody and torn so we tossed them. Why do you ask?”

“What about the bracelet? Was I wearing a bracelet?!”

“Bracelet?”

“It would’ve had initials on it..”

“Ah! Yeah, you did have one, I remember now because we had to remove it since the initials were metal charms!”

“Where is it now?!”

“It should be back in your room, I put it in a little lock box for safe keeping..wow I completely forgot about it until now..How’d you even remember?”

“I’ll tell you later, for now, let’s hurry back..”

Nurse Mina and you get back to your room and you desperately search the shelf for the lockbox but you can’t seem to find it.

“Are you sure you left it here?”

“Of course, I remember as soon as you were moved here, I didn’t want to misplace..and I placed it on the top shelf!” Nurse Mina places a stool in front of the shelf and climbs on top so she can reach, then hands the lock box to you.

“What’s the code?”

“The day you were brought in..” You then hurriedly enter the date and the lock box props open automatically, filling you with relief.

“it’s really here..it’s real, which means he is too..”

“Y/n, are you okay? why are you crying?”

“What?” You then look at yourself in the mirror, you really are crying.

“So are you gonna tell me the story behind the bracelet now?” You then tell her to sit and explain to her the dream you had while you were in a coma or at least the bits you remember cause you still can’t manage to recall all of it.

“That’s pretty much all of it..”

“Okay so let me get this straight the initials on the bracelet belong to a guy, that is safe to say you grew up with and are very close to but all we know is his nickname, which is kookie..? Also that we’re assuming he no longer lives near you because the house in your dream went from warm colors to nothing..”

“Correct! I’m surprised you’re accepting it all so easily..”

“Well it’s normal for coma patients to dream, also we have the bracelet as proof that that person does exist and considering if he still did live near you then I’d like to assume he would’ve visited you right away..but to be honest this all sounds too surreal like something out of a drama!”

“I know it does but Nurse Mina, I really do need your help..”

“My help? For what?”

“Can’t you search in the hospital’s database if he’s ever been admitted here?”

“If you knew his name then yes, I could try but all you know is his nickname..”

“That’s true but his nickname has to have a link to his real name right? Since it’s kookie then his real name must include kook in it!”

“Y/n, do you have any idea how many people have kook in their names?”

“Nurse Mina, pretty please! can you at least try?” You beg.

“Why don’t you just ask your mom? She should know..”

“Nooo! uhh sorry for yelling it’s just I have a feeling I shouldn’t bring him up..”

“Fine, I’ll do my best with what we know, which is that his name has kook and he should be around your age..”

“Thank you! Thank you so much Nurse Mina!” You hug her tightly.

“No problem, now get some sleep, tomorrow’s the day you try walking without the walker and we get to determine when you can go home..” Nurse Mina then excuses herself and you lie down to get some sleep.

It’s been a few days since the day you asked Nurse Mina to investigate about kookie, you understand that there’s like thousands of guys with kook in their name but you were growing anxious, unsure if she’d be able to figure anything out about him. As you were taking a stroll around the rooftop garden, Nurse Mina appears before you out of breath.

“Nurse Mina! Are you okay?!”

“I found something!” She says

“What did you find out?!”

“Okay, so I searched the database between this hospital and our sister hospital in Busan..now I don’t want to get your hopes up but-”

“Just tell me already..please!”

“I was able to narrow it down to less than 20 guys around your age that share kook and have visited the hospital within these past 2 years..” She sighs and hands the files to you.

“Are you serious? That’s amazing! Why don’t you look pleased?”

“Because this whole ordeal is very drama like, and if that’s the case then there’s a chance he isn’t using his real name especially if he just disappeared like you said he did..or he probably isn’t even in the country anymore..”

“Yah! Don’t be so negative, I finally have a lead on where this kookie guy might be and it’s all thanks to you..” You give her a quick hug and head back to your room because your doctor was going to visit you to talk about your condition.

“Y/n, where have you been? the doctor’s going to be here soo- what’s that in your hand?” Fuck, you didn’t think she’d be here already, you confidently walk towards her and swiftly put it under your pillow before laying down.

“I was sketching earlier at the garden..” She stares at you suspiciously but thankfully the doctor arrives before she can question any further.

“Hey, Y/l/n, how are you feeling? According to your charts you have significantly improved and can be deemed healthy.”

“Yeah, I can get around on my own now but I still get tired occasionally.”

“That’s to be expected since you haven’t walked around in months, but if you stay consistent with your exercise then you’ll be running around in no time..”

“Thanks, I was also wondering when I can get discharged?”

“We should get you discharged by this weekend, we’ll just need you to come back before starting so we can make sure you’re in perfect condition for sports etc.” The doctor then excuses himself which leaves you alone with your mom.

“Look, I’m sorry about what happened the other day, my emotions were heightened and you know how much Joon means to me so you need to understand where I’m coming from..”

“Do you think I don’t? Do you think I haven’t been hurting all this time? It’s one thing for a parent’s child to be sick or injured but both of my children were in comas and Joon still is. Your father was sent to work in Busan back in January so I’ve been here suffering all alone. The hospital told me to go and they’d call if there were any changes but I couldn’t leave because, what would happen if you two woke up and no one was there. Y/n, a child can live without their parent but a parent can’t live without their child..” She says while holding back her tears.

“Mom, I-I didnt-”

“Just let it be y/n..” She places a kiss on your forehead before leaving.

You can’t even begin to imagine how much your parents have been suffering, especially your mom coming here everyday just to care for you both. All she was hoping for was for you two to wake up and then you did but you were a total bitch to her when she had a moment of weakness and said those things about Joon. if Joon was there he definitely would’ve given you an earful for acting in such a way towards her.

After being discharged you decided to join your dad in Busan since It was the best option since this way your mom could focus on Joon while you spend the summer catching up on school work before the semester started and it gave you a chance to look into the guys who lived in the area that may be your best friend. Though there was a slight issue, considering you have no idea what he looks like but that won’t stop you because you need answers and this kookie guy, is the only one with them.

Your dad works hectic hours considering some days he works 5am-6pm and other days at 10am-11pm but what you can always count on is having your afternoons free to explore. You’ve been working diligently to complete all your assignments, it’s mid-June and you’re already about to take the finals to the first semester you missed at a local high school here in Busan that will supervise you and send it to your school in Seoul.

The school is only twenty mins away by bus and they asked you to be there by one o’clock that way you can take the exam while the students were at lunch. Since it’s already twelve, you decided to head over so it’ll give you a chance to explore the area better. Once you arrived at the school, you looked around for the main office,but you ended up at the gym since you couldn’t ask other students cause they were in class. You began to wonder what if your best friend attended this high school, or what your life would be like now if you didn’t get into a car accident, but right now it isn’t time to have such thoughts. You open the door to the gym accidentally hitting someone in the face but when you go to help them up, they just grab your hand and make you run with them under the stage.

“Hey what’s yo-” before you can finish what you’re saying he covers your mouth from speaking, thankful you wore a face mask if not you’d hit him already. Your phone then vibrates, you push him away from you and see it’s from the teacher who is giving you the final, she’s asking if you’re almost here considering it’s five minutes from one o’clock.

“Shit..” The guy then looks at you surprised that you cursed.

“Is everything okay?” He asks.

“Do you know where the main office is? I’m suppose to be there already..”

“Yeah, I’ll take you..” He starts to lead the way.

“So who were you running away from?”

“Ah, just some random girls who don’t understand what personal space is..” To which you laugh since he seems like someone who loves the attention but then you stop cause he’s staring at you.

“Sorry, it’s just, you don’t seem the type to mind the attention then again I don’t even know you so it’s not my place..” He stares at you for a bit then looks away and laughs.

“It’s okay, anyways were here..” He points to the office

“Thanks so much for your help..”

“Anytime..” He says as the door to the office opens.

“Y/n, I was worried if you got lost on your way here.” The teacher says.

“What did you say your name was...” He can’t believe it, it’s only been 2 years since he has last seen you yet here you are standing before him, is it really you?

“Oh, my name is y/n, nice to meet you..” You say as you extend your hand to greet him but he just stares at it, why are you acting as if you don’t know him.

“Y/n, we need to go take those exams..”

“Sorry but I need to go, thanks again for your help..” You say as you excuse yourself and follow the teacher while he just stands there dumbfounded watching you walk away. He knew no matter what he wanted to figure out why you were putting on this act, he knew that whenever you saw each other again you’d be angry and hurt but right now neither showed in your eyes.

By the time you were finished with your exams, classes were officially over so it was time for clubs as you’re leaving you decide to check out the gym once more cause you heard the volleyball team was really good. As you’re peeping you see a ball fly towards your direction and it’s about to hit the girl next to you, not sure if your athleticism is still good you move in front of her and receive it, sending it back to the players but no one receives it and all there is, is silence.

“Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt but it was gonna hit her..” The guys on the team then look at each other before running towards you.

“That was amazing!”

“You got into position so fast!”

“How long have you been playing?”

“Are you new here?? we know all the female volleyball players”

“I can’t believe someone received the king’s serve...”

“Leave her alone already, can’t you tell she’s overwhelmed also you act like it’s such a big deal to receive my serves, I’m just not on my A game today...” He says as he hands you your bag.

“Thanks..”

“Non-members aren’t allowed in the gym so all of you should leave..” He says while looking you in the eyes, something about him sends chills down your spine. He escorts you and the other girls out of the gym without breaking eye contact and then closes the doors before giving you a chance to respond. The other girls giggle about how handsome he is while walking away. You then start to head home also when you bump into the teacher from earlier. Jungkook felt bad for being rude to you so he wanted to go apologize but he sees you talking to the teacher, he doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, the conversation just caught his attention.

“Y/n, how are you liking Busan? It’s your first time here right?”

“Ummm...”

“Ah right, your mother told me about your situation...sorry.”

“No, need to apologize..”

“How long were you...?”

“8 months..but I’m all good now so you don’t need worry. I’ll be back to take the next finals right before I head back to Seoul..”

“Why not stay here? I know our school might not be up to par like in Seoul but it can be a nice change of scenery..”

“I have someone waiting for me so I can’t..” When he heard you say those words he didn’t want to hear anymore, he knew you’d eventually date someone but he didn’t know it’d hurt this much so he starts heading back to practice.

“Right, your brother, I’m sorry..”

“He’ll wake up soon, so it’s okay, I’ll be going now..” You hurry back in the direction of the gym when you spot the guy from earlier.

“Hey!” You wonder why he is acting like he can’t hear you. “Hey, I know you can hear me! King!!” The name causes him to freeze in place so you catch up to him

“Don’t call me that ever again..”

“Sorry, it’s just I don’t know your name..” He can’t believe you’re keeping up this charade but he isn’t going to give in so he walks past you.

“Did I do something to upset you?” He stops at the entrance to the gym before turning around to face you.

“Stay away from me..” He says before slamming the doors in your face.

You don’t get what his problem is, why is he upset with you, this is your face time meeting him and you thought he was nice but now he’s just being an asshole.

“Okay so maybe I shouldn’t called him by that nickname but what else was I suppose to say when I don’t know his name..” You mutter to yourself as you enter your home because you can’t believe how rude someone can be.

“Is everything alright?”

“Oh, you’re home early today..”

“I forgot some files here, I’m just gonna drop them off and then I’ll be back with food.”

“Okay bring pizza, I’m going to go nap for a bit..” You head up to your room and open the door to you balcony to let the breeze in before laying down and drifting to sleep.

“Y/n, you realized you love him more than friends..”

“Kook? Is it really him...?” Have you been dreaming this entire time? why is Joon next to you, and why is kook there..

“Y/n, are you really just gonna let him disappear again?!” You can’t bring yourself to speak up, if everything has been a dream up until now then you can’t risk it. You just watch him get on the highway, losing him all over again. Before you know it Joon speeds after him and you’re yelling, telling him to stop.

“Don’t follow him!! Stop the car!!” You watch the light grow brighter, it’s too late..

“Joon!! Stop it!! Let him go!! Stop the car!!” You sob.

“Y/n! Wake up!! Y/n!!” Your shaken awake and your pulled into an embrace “You’re okay now..” You then realize it wasn’t your dad but the guy from school.

“Why are you here?!?” You shove him and start throwing pillows at him

“Look, I didn’t mean to break in! I live next door and I heard you yelling so I thought something was happening so I jumped over to check! I had no idea you lived here, I barely moved in!” He says.

“Okay, let’s say I believe, I’m fine now so just leave..” You say while trembling.

“You’re not fine, you’re trembling!”

“Get out of my house right now before I call the cops!”

“Fine, I’ll go!” He walks out to your balcony before jumping over to his. You lock your door and pull the curtains shut before collapsing on the floor and sobbing. You never had this dream before, why are you dreaming about the accident, what happened for you to be reminded of that day and why did his embrace feel so comforting as if it’s happened before. You’re not sure of anything right now but something is telling you that that guy is going to be causing you trouble and you should stay away from him.

#jeon jungkook #jjk #bts #jungkook #bangtan #jeon jungkook angst #bts angst #jungkook angst #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #kim namjoon #rm #knj #방탄소년단 #방탄소년단 정국 #전정국 #정국 #김남준 #남준

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