#one of the boyfriends is a catboy
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captain-mozzarella · 3 months ago
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I think I forgot to post her
Like so many times
Old art! Yay! I wanna redo it immediately!!!!
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alexxcatboy · 7 months ago
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hai.... pls draw Norm Allen bein gay pls pls
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idk what ur wantin from me but i would've drawn him shirtless tits out slicked up in oil smoochin up on me(n) if this was twitter dot com
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heleizition · 2 years ago
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missing kuroyaku in this house tonight
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freyalir · 8 months ago
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I saw @gay-robot-boyfriends's cat art of X, Vile, and Zero and was reminded of more old art I have stored away. Observe... Cat Vile with his loving owner Zero who is not at all infected with Toxoplasma Vava in the brain.
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grand-line-shenanigans · 2 years ago
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mens tits...
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teslacoils-and-hubris · 1 year ago
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God little me was so incredibly correct for being obsessed with the Cheshire cat I need to get on that again
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cynda-queer · 1 year ago
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I write explicitly for me at the three other weirdos who want to talk about my Warrior of Light
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sunderedazem · 2 years ago
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I have accidentally steered straight into the maw of yet another Hyperfixation Whirlpool. The captain's going down with the ship, mateys.
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nijohirjesyho · 3 months ago
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How it started
The mention of Archon Allies made Nijoh'ir's eyes narrow, well, further. He'd already bristled at the dismisal of the festival and his tail flicked angrily as he shifted to let Koana pass.He parted his mouth to speak, paused, and then turned his head to call after Koana. "Nice to meet you, I guess. This the future of Tural? Ever looking forward, leaving behind its past, and all held at arm's length?" When Koana didn't pause he sighed and raised his voice, "At least tell Urianger I said hi won't you!"
How it's going:
Koana was getting more comfortable with kissing him, to Nijoh’ir’s delight. He pressed into the kiss now, hands resting on Nijoh’ir’s upper arms while Nijoh’ir caught his waist. When Nijoh’ir pulled away, Koana chased after him, swallowing Nijoh’ir’s soft huff of laughter, bringing one hand up to cup the side of his neck.
Hey... hey anyone with wolships or other FFXIV ships (since I know not everyone's characters are WoL).
Show me your "How it started // How it's going" can be gpose, art, writing. I just want to know about your ffxiv ships. Can be OCxOC, OCxNPC, Polyships, multiships, or anything else I didn't account for.
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lavendercatboy-blog · 5 months ago
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I fucking burnt my hand while trying to cook some pasta >:(
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neriyon · 1 year ago
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Nooooooooooooooooooo they didn't bring Papa Gruff's pet miqo'te around this year ;___;
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naamahdarling · 5 months ago
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In the Broadway LPs that I have, Skimble even sounds like him as the podium inspector.
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You can't fool me. This man's a fussy little orange cat that lives on a train and has his nose in everything and he does NOT approve of hilarity or riot!!!
Brian David Gilbert projects Skimbleshanks energy and I really don't need to explain it any further than that.
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starshine-selfships · 1 year ago
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SHAI SHAI SHAI LOOK WHO I SUMMONED IN MY MUDAE SERVER
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ITS YOUR MAN YOUR VIOLIN MAN 🎻 🦋
THERE HE IS
I'm so glad it not only uses one of the mobage cards but it uses one of the good ones as well ✨️ I was in a server with someone who used the mudae bot and I have seen SO MANY anime man get summoned through it,,, the chances of rolling him,, , absolutely miniscule,, a one in a million kind of boy gracing my inbox today 💖
Also, here is the full image that one draws from 👀
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zara-renata · 6 days ago
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Hello and good morning~ I was listening to RED by taylor swift while working and suddenly ALL I could think of was the Sylus series (and how MC thinks she was rejected). 💙❤️ Think this song fits them so well
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I have been meaning to answer this ask since you sent it, but it gave me a little Scenario that I had to carry around in my head until I could figure out how to work it into a story. Your ask, in combination with a post by @leaderincrows about wanting to see Sylus collared and gasping pathetically, led to this story. I hope the result is enjoyable. Thanks so much for sending this ask, and I'm sorry it took 8 million years to answer!
Goodcat code, or how you learned to care for your catboy | ao3 | masterlist
Summary: Your crimelord boyfriend disappears for a week, you make yourself sad listening to breakup songs, you learn that he got turned into a catboy, you get assigned a mission on the worst cruise ship ever, undercover shenanigans ensue. Loosely based on the Sylus memory Goodcat Code.
Notes: Sylus x gn reader, sylus x mc, second person POV, some Sylus POV MC is referred to by they/them pronouns, intended as a placeholder for your preferred pronouns. Established relationship, can be read as a standalone. This story contains: profanity, activities of a sexual nature, violence, probably too much internal monologue and not enough action, too many feelings and not enough sexual activity, inappropriate use of a tail, an argument with your boyfriend, a happy ending.
You wonder if it’s because you trounced him in kitty cards the last time you played.
The silence. 
For the past week, your phone has been pinging with constant notifications but none with My Sy listed as the sender. Just work, spam, Xavier asking if you want to go to the bookstore the next time you’re both free, Tara spamming you with pleas to go to some shitty club where her latest favorite indie EDM DJ is playing—why she thinks that her insistence that “He looks just like Skye, I promise!” is enough incentive for you to wade through loud, sweaty, touch-feely dancers as you can’t help constantly checking the exits, while simultaneously making sure a molly-rolling Tara doesn’t abscond to the bathroom with a mistake waiting to happen, while being subjected to mediocre beats from her artist-of-the week, is beyond you. “Skye” is gorgeous, yes, but you’d rather admire the real thing up close than squint through a fog-machine haze to look at a cheap knock-off.
Maybe Sylus’s snobbery is rubbing off on you.
Then again, Tara doesn’t know how up close you get to examine Skye on a regular basis, so perhaps you’re being unfair, because you’re in a terrible mood, because you haven’t heard from him for a week now.
Because maybe you won’t have the chance to see “Skye” up close ever again. Because all you have is a deafening silence from him, and it started the day after you wiped the floor with him at the kitty cafe playing kitty cards.
Could something so petty cause him to finally lose interest in you, the way you've feared ever since you allowed yourself to consider the possibility that Sylus may be romantically interested in you?
It’s not your fault that the longer you spend time with him, the more you have unraveled his mysteries. If he doesn’t want to be so easy to beat, he needs to try harder to be less predictable. You never would have thought, when you first met him, that you’d ever think the words “predictable” and “Sylus” in the same sentence, but the mercurial man is like clockwork when it comes to kitty cards.
He always, always offers you the chance to go first. Why on earth would you say no, and then lose the chance to play your inevitably shitty, low-value cards in the matching colored cups, just to prevent him from playing one of his inevitably high valued cards in the matching cup?
He grumbles, tries to give “helpful” advice about being patient and gambling on drawing a higher value card instead, all the while doing the exact same thing when it’s his turn and he has a shit hand. The condescending hypocrite. You stew a bit thinking about it.
And then, you’ve long since learned that the arrogant bastard is cheating while you play. He somehow marks the cards—you don’t know how. Something to do with his evol? He refuses to admit it outright, so you doubt you’ll ever know. But what you first thought was a generous habit of offering to give you two  of his cards for one of yours, actually turns out to be an opportunity for him to offload his low value cards and give himself a chance to poach your higher value cards. You refuse his offers now.
And lastly, you’ve figured out that for all of Sylus’s skill, brilliant brain, and talent at strategy, the man has a few weaknesses that you are ruthlessly willing to exploit to gain the upper hand to beat him despite all of his dirty tricks.
Namely, he’s easily distracted by a few very specific things.
Your mouth being one of them.
So last week, you went first, played your shit cards in the colored cups, refused his offers to trade, and ordered a strawberry shortcake with extra whipped cream to enjoy while you played.
He leaned back in his seat at the kitty cafe where he was sitting across from you, manspreading as usual, arms casually draped over the back of the booth, the picture of casual, smug confidence. The dictionary definition of winner. 
“Do you really have the luxury of splitting your focus between the game and your dessert, kitten? It looks like you need all of your concentration just to keep up, let alone win this round,” he drawled, secure in his five point lead over you. It was his turn, and yet he had time to taunt you.
You just shrugged, holding your cards fanned in one hand, dipping your finger in the whipped cream with your other. You brought it to your lips, pretending to think very hard about which card you’d play next when all of them were crap, and rubbed the cream over your bottom lip.
You heard a sharp inhale from the other side of the table, but ignored it. You “absentmindedly” flicked your tongue out, gathering the cream there before swallowing and biting your lip pensively.
“It’s good,” you murmured, not taking your eyes off your cards. “Not too sweet.”
Silence. It took all of your willpower not to look up to see what his face was doing.  But you heard him place a kitty in a cup, its cute little meow signaling the start of your turn.
You let your gaze flick back and forth between the board and your cards. Good. It was working. He played a low value card in a white cup instead of drawing a new card like he should have.
You put your crap sage card in the last sage-colored cup. Sylus tsked and drew a new card.
This time, you picked up one of the glazed strawberries adorning the shortcake and placed it between your lips, sucking on it gently as you “thought.”
The groan coming from across the table was so low that you almost didn’t hear it over the sounds of the cafe—other players chatting, the meows of the kitties, the clink of cutlery and tableware. But you heard it, even through your tinnitus.
You played another low value card in a matching cup—the last one. Unless he had a six, this round is yours.
You finally dared to look up and find Sylus glaring at you, all while petting a beautiful, tawny colored cafe cat that had apparently settled in his lap while you were busy trying to distract him and beat his ass at this ridiculous game.
“Sy, you know the rules of the cafe—no petting the cats unless we pay extra!” You looked around furtively, forgetting the game, worried that the staff were going to get mad and kick you both out for this breach of etiquette. You pay first, then pet!
“I can’t help it if, unlike some, this particular kitty is straightforward enough to ask for pets from me,” he said pointedly. “Who am I to deny its desires?” 
In response, you popped the strawberry fully into your mouth, closed your eyes, and bit down, letting out a genuine little sound of appreciation for the sweet fruit.
Suddenly there was a disgruntled mewl from across the table. You opened your eyes and saw Sylus with a death grip on the cat where he was previously petting it gently. The cat squirmed, trying to get off of his lap. He blinked and let go of the cat, which then bolted off of his lap like he had just yanked its tail—which he hadn’t, but Sylus’s grip was no joke. You would know.
He watched the cat, a rare apologetic look on his face, before turning to glare at you again. “If we get kicked out, it will be your fault,” he accused.
You just looked back at him innocently. “What on earth did I do?”
“Maybe I’ve been too soft with you, and you’ve gotten too comfortable with me—you grow more cunning by the day,” he said softly, almost like a threat, but he looked… pleased.
“Still have no idea what you’re talking about,” you hummed, taking a big forkful of the shortcake and shoving it in your mouth. 
Sylus just groaned again. He lost every game the two of you played the rest of the evening.
When you parted ways with him, heading back home to sleep while he was heading to a meeting, he pulled you into his arms as you stood by your motorcycle. He breathed in your hair and sighed, and then pulled away, turning on his heel, and walking away without a backwards glance.
And that’s the last you heard from him since that night.
You sit at your kitchen table, staring glumly out into the chill fall night. Your phone lights up, but it’s just Rafayel sending a photo of a little crab brandishing a plastic spork captioned Lol littering humans suck but at least this trash is useful for this lil guy he’s got a sword now
You often wonder why both Rafayel and Sylus sometimes refer to humans as if they themselves are not also human. You text back.
You: he just needs a shield. give him a bottle cap and he can fight wanderers with me 
Fried Shrimp: nope he’s my new bodyguard because you suck too and have been too busy lately to guard my body like you promised
You: you’re perfectly capable of guarding yourself you pyromaniac
Rafayel just responds with a poop emoji.
You consider his text. Rafayel may have a point for once—you have been spending every free moment that you're not working with Sylus lately.
Which is bad. You don’t want him to take over your life. You want to maintain a balanced, a healthy relationship with him, if possible. It would be so easy to let yourself be consumed by his charismatic, overwhelming presence in your life. But what happens when he disappears as quickly as he appeared?
You don’t want to think about it. But that point may have already arrived. You stare at your dark phone again.
You could… call him first. Or send a text. But you’re not to the point where you can bring yourself to contact him first. If he wants to talk to you, he isn’t shy about reaching out for your attention. He calls almost every day. To tell you that you need to expect a package. To complain about his bad luck at a poker game with business rivals. To pester you about when you’ll come visit him again. Mephisto hasn’t seen your face for two days, he’s starting to pout. The twins brought home ten different flavors of syrup for the espresso machine, look at what you’re doing to them, they’re going to get diabetes at this rate.
You don’t think you’re to the point of being able to handle being left on read by this man if you send a text first and he doesn’t answer.
It’s time to wallow. You reach for your phone, pull up your music app, and put Taylor Swift’s RED on repeat.
You’ll give it a few more days, and then you’ll put on Olivia Rodrigo. After another week, it will be Sabrina Carpenter, because you’ll probably have entered the anger stage of grief by then. After that, it will be Hozier, when you finally accept that Sylus will never be calling again and try to find the beauty in everything you’ve lost.
***
“Status report?” Sylus growls into the phone. 
“Boss, I really think that you should reconsider this course of action,” Kieran’s voice is just loud enough for Sylus to be able to hear over the absolute cacophony of the closed cat cafe, which is considerable, even with his double, hypersensitive hearing due to his current… condition.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, I asked for a status update,” Sylus hisses, and then clears his throat. He totally meant to hiss just then. His hissing has nothing to do with his current affliction.
“But I really must insist—” Kieran tries to argue, but he’s drowned out by the cat cafe’s OTTO.
“Caracal Butler! May I remind you that not only is your customer satisfaction rating in the negatives, but you are also not allowed to make personal phone calls on the kitties’ time!” The OTTO hovers menacingly in front of him.
“Oh, I’m so scared,” he responds, voice dripping with sarcasm. Even the robot should be able to discern his disdain.
“You should be,” it says, threateningly.
“Oh? And what are the kitties going to do that’s worse than what they’ve already done.” He flicks some cat hair off of his bespoke tuxedo. The fact that he’s going to have to get it de-haired and dry cleaned if he ever wants to wear it again just adds insult to injury, as he had been hoping to wear it with you to a Linkon City Symphony Orchestra’s performance soon. He had a matching outfit tailored for you at the same time he ordered this tux, so he has resigned himself to getting the damn thing cleaned when this... ordeal is over.
The OTTO jerks him out of his irritation with its nagging voice module. “It is protocol for this kitty cafe to act as a responsible caretaker for the kitties under our care. We require spaying and neutering of all kitties under this roof. You have not yet received such care.”
The threat in response to his sarcasm could not be clearer.
He narrows his eyes at the OTTO and feels his tail swish menacingly as his ears press flat to his hair.
“Come anywhere near my balls and I’ll fill this cat cafe with so many cat toys of the loud, exploding variety that there will be nothing left of either it, the cats, or you except a smoking crater.”
The OTTO flits backwards out of Sylus’s reach.
“Perhaps Caracal Butler may be allowed a limited number of private phone calls on the kitties’ time without repercussions,” it says, tone placating as it drifts quickly to the other side of the room.
“That’s what I thought,” Sylus growls again, and not because he’s been stripped of his evol and cursed with two fucking cat ears and a tail that betrays his emotions no matter how much self control he tries to exert, but because he meant to growl.
He returns his attention back to the phone as his patience wears ever thinner. “Status. Report.”
“Boss, I really must insist—” Kieran tries again, tone incredibly concerned, before being interrupted by Luke.
“Your hunter is listening to breakup songs and mopily staring at their phone every spare moment they get.”
Sylus’s ears swivel around to full attention and his tail thwacks a kitty climbing tower so hard it’s almost knocked off its base.
“Breakup songs? Why—”
“They obviously think you’ve ghosted them,” Luke continues. “Keep this up and you’re gonna lose them.”
Sylus tilts his head. Could you really believe that he’s capable of ever leaving your side before you tell him to leave and mean it? What an absolutely ridiculous notion. His tail swishes thoughtfully. He did not want you to see him like this—stripped of his power, kneeling to these demanding cats like a… well. Like a fucking catboy butler. He has his pride, after all. He was hoping that the curse would fade quickly and you’d be too busy with work and your social life to notice that he has been absent for a little while. And you hadn’t reached out to him either, during this time. He runs his gloved hand along his bottom lip before realizing that he’s been touching cats all day, makes a disgusted face, and taps his temple instead. Why hadn’t you reached out to him? His mind drifts over memories of all of your interactions with him when you are apart and he's been forced to make do with communicating to you via phone and text.
This is not the first time that it occurs to him that you have never, not once, reached out to him first. He is always the one calling you, texting you, sending you packages.
He stops, tail and ears still. He has noticed it, but he hasn't thought about it deeply. He's willing to chase you to the end of time, after all. But now, he wonders what he's missing. He is almost entirely sure that you miss him as much as he misses you when you’re apart. You always pick up the phone. You always respond to texts. As for sending packages, you've grumbled about not knowing what to gift a man who has everything, but he always reassures you that he already has everything he wants, as long as you’re there.
So why is it that you have never reached out to him first? He flicks his ears. It would be nice, if you reached out first, every once in a while. He doesn't require it. But it would be nice. He tucks that thought away for further analysis after the current problem is fixed.
Time to assess the damage, and then engage in damage control.
“What kind of breakup songs?” he asks.
“Currently listening to RED by Taylor Swift.”
Sylus considers. Taylor Swift isn’t as bad as Sabrina Carpenter, or Hozier. Once you start with Hozier, Sylus will really be worried.
“Are you gonna stop being a big scaredy-cat and contact your hunter now?” Luke demands, sounding absolutely done with his ridiculous boss and his equally ridiculous partner.
Sylus values the intel they just provided, so he lets the insubordination slide. This time.
“I will remedy the situation. You’re dismissed from hunter observation detail.”
All he hears are twinned sighs of relief and then the phone disconnecting. He stares at it. What impudent henchmen.
He turns and wades through the meandering cats to the OTTO.
“I’m leaving, but I will be back to fulfill my contract once a personal emergency has been resolved.”
The OTTO, with his previous threats clearly still fresh in its memory, meekly allows him to pass without any fuss.
He steps out into the cold winter evening, the street lights and bright advertisements of Linkon City temporarily blinding him. Normally he would just teleport along rooftops to get to you as quickly as possible in such an emergency, but with this fucking curse, he has to make his way to your home like a regular human. His lip curls in disgust, but then he schools his face into its customary blank, intimidating expression as he notices people passing by gawking at his swishing tail and his cat ears. He’s drawing enough attention to himself without looking threatening while doing it. He quickly strides to where he parked his motorcycle, jams his helmet on his head, and breaks six different traffic laws trying to get to your place as quickly as possible.
***
You’re trying to wallow, snuggled into your bedding with a tray of some sad soup heated up from a can and a chunk of stale bread, when your hunter watch pings. You flick through the new assignment. Some asshole smuggler in biologically modified wanderers code-named “Snowy Owl” apparently needs to be brought down. You slurp some soup while you try to formulate a plan of action for snaring this new target, who has in turn snared many innocent wanderers to then sell them to shady collectors with who knows what kind of intentions for them. 
This is just the sort of thing that you’ve all too easily grown accustomed to discussing with Sylus, due to his spiderweb of connections through the underworld. But isn’t that part of the problem? Where before you would rely on yourself and Association resources to arrange a mission of this kind, now you’re all too comfortable relying on Sylus for help. That sort of sloppiness is unacceptable, and the gaping absence he’s left behind in the last week only serves to drive that point home. You cannot let the blade of your skills dull because of reliance on your all-too-willing-to-help boyfriend. Maybe ex-boyfriend, you think miserably.
You sigh, leaning back, turning up the music that you had previously turned down to focus on the mission details. You’re trying to drown out all thoughts of the man who you need to get out of your head, only to find yourself yelping in surprise and flinging the tray with the soup at the tall intruder who has just silently appeared at the side of your bed—who you hadn’t heard at all, as if they had entered on padded cat paws.
Only to realize halfway through the soup’s trajectory that the intruder is Sylus and he’s wearing a very fancy suit.
All the previous times you have flung tableware containing hot liquid at him, Sylus has been able to dodge the container, if not its contents, because of his evol. But this time he’s struck square in the chest by both the soup and the soup bowl. It hits one big pec with a dull thud and then crashes to your floor. He stands there, dripping soup, looking down at his dress shoes.
“The fuck, Sylus,” you breathe, not because he appeared out of nowhere in your home, again, but because you can clearly see two twitching, incredibly real-looking cat ears��tawny, fuzzy on the insides, coming to a beautiful, regal black point at the top—swiveling through his gorgeous silver hair. As your eyes travel down his long, lovely body, they catch on a flicking cat-tail with the same coloring as his ears. Something about the fur strikes you as familiar, but you can’t quite figure out why.
“Darling. Dearest to my heart. My heart, in fact, beating within the safety of my ribcage. Could you, perhaps, in the future, try to refrain from assaulting me with molten liquid when I surprise you in your home.” His tail swishes, swishes, swishes behind him, and you’re utterly mesmerized. It takes a moment for it to sink in that Sylus is actually here. You want to scramble off the bed, climb him like a tree, the dripping soup be damned, and just hug him. Now that you’re seeing him in person for the first time in a whole week, you are able to actually feel how much you’ve missed him, instead of suppressing, repressing, pretending that the unending ache didn’t hurt so terribly much.
You’re about to launch yourself at him when you remember why you had been feeling this way all week. Where the hell has he been? And why does he have cat attributes now? Well, more than he already had to begin with, you snicker internally, until you remember that you’re still feeling heartbroken and wary of why he has shown up now after ghosting you all week. Are you being melodramatic? Are you being immature? Are you being unfair? Could you have called him to check in, when he didn’t? You eye his ears. His tail. Yes to all of the above, but it doesn’t change how you simply can’t bring yourself to go to him, and instead draw further back, away from him, on the bed.
He apparently doesn’t miss your movement, as his ears swivel forward as you move, and then flatten onto the top of his head as he assumes an aggressively bored expression on his face.
“Not going to answer me?” he growls. Actually growls, like a cat warning a naughty kitten.
You can’t help yourself. “Who’s actually the kitten now, Sylus?”
His tail flicks violently behind him.
“Careful, kitten. Perhaps you’ve forgotten in the past week that this cat has claws,” he says, low and menacing.
You just laugh at him.
“Mmmm, yes, your oh-so-so sharp claws, which are now covered in soup. What are you doing here?”
He narrows his eyes at your unimpressed reaction to his empty threat. “Do I need a reason to visit my heart?”
The more he acts like nothing has changed, as if he didn’t just disappear on you without a word for a week, the more wound up and jittery you feel. “What heart?” you ask, a little petulantly.
He lifts an eyebrow. “You know the answer to that question.”
“Do I? Not a very important organ, if you can survive a week without it,” you grumble.
His ears swivel forward, and his tail starts to… wag, but his facial expression doesn’t change.
You immediately regret revealing so much.
“Ah,” is all he says, but he sounds pleased. 
You look away, out the window. But all you see is Sylus in the reflection, and the dark night beyond. You’ve said too much already. 
“I’m going to change. And then we’re going to talk,” he announces, and it sounds like a purr.
You feel silly as you realize that Taylor Swift is still warbling loudly in your bedroom about loving him but losing him so suddenly, trying to stop when you’re already in free fall, loving him being like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all. You flick off the music.
He’s here again. He’s here again, but for how long?
You hear water running in the bathroom as you go to the kitchen to grab some towels and return to your bedroom to mop up the soup, tidying your embarrassingly messy flat along the way. You return to bed and wait for him.
After a few minutes, Sylus emerges from your bathroom clad in one of the soft sweaters and silk sleep pants he keeps in your closet. You can’t help yourself again—you stare at where his tail emerges from under the sweater. The flexible waistband of the pants must have been pushed down a little over his ass to accommodate where his tail emerges. 
He strides to the bed and pauses next to it. “May I?” he asks, tail flicking, ears twitching.
You nod, and he prowls onto your duvet on his hands and knees. Before settling next to you, however, he turns in a circle, once, twice, three times, before sinking down and pulling you into his arms, your back to his chest, curling around you. You let him, feeling the flood of safety and sense of wholeness that you always get when Sylus is touching you. You sigh. All of your worries seem so trite now. Why didn’t you just text him first? Why did you wait for him to reach out first? Why are you like this?
As if reading your mind, Sylus says, “Were you worried this week?”
His arms are wrapped tightly around you, he has one leg shoved between yours, and you feel his tail curl around your bare ankle. Its fur is so, so soft.
You nod.
“Why didn’t you call me, then?”
You don’t want to tell him how afraid you are of him finally not answering. Of him finally losing interest. It sounds so pathetic to even think it, let alone say it out loud.
“I’m sorry about your fancy suit,” is all you can say.
He hums, and his tail wraps tighter around your ankle. “It’s a tuxedo. And it can be cleaned.”
“Fancy suit, tuxedo—pretentious, overpriced pieces of fabric,” you tease him.
“My heart is a heathen,” he sighs into your hair. “It’s a tux that matches pretentious, overpriced pieces of fabric that happen to fit your body perfectly.”
“What use do I have for such fabric?” you ask, turning in his arms, lulled by his familiar humor, his still-unexplained tail wrapped around your ankle. You lie on your side, facing him. His ears twitch in your direction.
“There's a ticket to the Linkon City Symphony Orchestra with your name on it. You should note the date in your agenda.”
“What if my agenda is already full? I haven’t heard from you for a week.”
His ears flatten in his hair. “You’d replace me in just a week?”
You hum a little, reaching up to run a finger along one cat ear. He makes a purring sound, deep in his throat, closing his lovely eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to replace you, even if I wanted to,” you murmur, lost in his presence again, feeling safe now that he’s here again. But the week was long, and you really were afraid he’d left for good, no matter how silly it seems now. “But maybe I thought you had replaced me,”  you admit, marveling at how soft the ear is, how good it feels to caress it between your forefinger and thumb. You want to kiss it, rub your face all over it. You lift your other hand and fondle his other ear.
His tail loosens on your ankle and begins drifting up your bare leg, the fur caressing your skin so gently, until it curls around one thigh and squeezes between your legs, right below where your thighs meet. You shiver at the sensation and forget to pet him for a moment.
“You should have more faith in your pet. Sometimes cats have business in the neighborhood that keeps them away for a few days, but they always come back home.”
“Did your ‘business’ have anything to do with your new accessories?”
He leans, shoving his head against your hands to remind you to keep petting him, and his tail drifts up, up, until it’s nudging between your legs. You gasp softly at the delicious pressure, but have enough presence of mind to keep massaging his ears.
“Yes,” he murmurs, a little breathless. “Like that.” You continue, and he continues teasing you with his tail. It’s not enough. You want more of him.
“How did you get the cat ears and tail, Sy?” you ask, trying to remain focused. 
The tail nudges you a little harder—you can’t help the jerk of your hips which sends you rocking into him, where you’re met with his hard dick under the fabric of his pants. The sensation of his hardness against your front and his tail at your back is almost overwhelming.
“Your fault, kitten. You and that fucking strawberry last week,” he growls again, flexes his hips into yours. “That cat I was petting was unhappy with how roughly I handled it while you cockteased me with your cake,” he gasps as you grind back into him, as you widen your legs to let his tail do whatever it wants, restricted only by your sleep shorts. “The evol kitties cursed me for petting without paying, and for roughing up the cat.”
You can’t help it. Even through the pleasure, you burst out laughing.
“They cursed you with a tail and ears, and that’s why you avoided me all week?” It’s absurd. All that worry, thinking that he’d finally grown bored with you, because he was too, what? Embarrassed? to reveal that he’d been given such adorable attributes. “You mean we could have been doing this all week?” you ask, incredulous, as his tail rubs against your sensitive spots through your shorts, as it nudges you again and again, as Sylus loudly purrs from the pleasure you rubbing his ears and the friction against his big dick is bringing him.
He opens his eyes, half-lidded, lips parted, panting. One of his hands drifts down your back and takes a handful of your ass, pulling, bringing your hips against his cock again. He grinds you on himself, leans forward, licks a swipe up the side of your face.
“The biological markers that were affected by the ears and tail are tied to my own evol—I don’t have my ability to manipulate energy so long as this curse lasts,” he says, breath hitching with the movement of your bodies.
You lean forward, press your forehead against his, share his panting breath. “What does that have to do with not calling me?” you manage, even though all you want to do is rip his pants down, shove down your own shorts, and impale yourself on him.
“Didn’t want you to see me as weak,” he admits. He opens his eyes, looks into yours. He then kisses you with his full lips, soft, slow, in contrast to his tail still nudging you through your shorts at a steady rhythm, teasing, teasing, teasing.
You pull back from his kiss, catch his gaze again. “Even without your evol, you’re still one of the strongest people I’ve ever met,” you whisper.
He pauses, his ears flattening again. “Just ‘one of’ the strongest people you've met?”
You laugh. “I know a lot of strong people Sy. And your new bits are cute, just like you.” His tail firmly nudges you again, once, as if to warn you. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you tease him.
He just groans and kisses you again, his tongue slipping between your lips, his big hands moving to shove down your shorts. “I don’t make threats,” he says, low, smug. “I make promises.”
You roll your eyes, but neither of you talk any more after that.
***
Much, much later, after you’re thoroughly fucked out, muscles pleasantly sore, as Sylus purrs beside you in sleep, one arm flung over you, you lie awake thinking about his admission of worrying about being 'weak' in front of you. Of the vulnerability in his questions—why didn’t you call him if you were worried? Would you really replace him within a week? 
You’ve been so wrapped up in your own insecurities, so busy trying to protect yourself from what you think is the inevitable pain of being abandoned, that you’ve never stopped to consider what Sylus may worry about. What his insecurities may be. He has always seemed so larger than life to you, from the very beginning. Invincible. Solitary and strong. But as you’ve gotten to know him, you’ve also had glimpses of his own tender heart, the same tender heart he warns you about having—a liability in his vicious world. The care he shows the twins, who he insists are just his henchmen but clearly love him like family. His meticulous maintenance of Mephisto, whenever the bird needs parts switched out, cleaning, or upgrades. His habit of masking his true feelings by maintaining a look of boredom, as if revealing such feelings is a vulnerability that even those closest to him could exploit. Even his tendency to cheat at kitty cards—his luck is so bad, and he works so hard to compensate for it in the best way that his brutal life has taught him. In the end, Sylus is just a person, like anyone else. Complicated. Layered. Strong and vulnerable, cruel and kind. You’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about him as something you crave, something you adore, as well as something you fear, a threat to your heart. Not always as just a person, with feelings of his own.
Feelings that include feelings for you, specifically. He has never hidden his care for you, not since those first days of knowing him. Even if he looks indifferent, the words coming out of his mouth are always achingly straightforward, and sweet in a way that sounds sarcastic but you have learned is actually simply the unvarnished truth. His actions—his gifts, his texting, calling, physical clinginess when you’re with him—in the quiet dark, with Sylus’s soft snores next to you, his cat ears twitching even in sleep, you realize how utterly unfair you’ve been to him. How one-sided this relationship has been up until now in a lot of ways.
You’re suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to show him how much you care about him too. How safe he is with you, just as he makes you feel safe whenever you’re together. You recognize that you need to do some work on yourself. That it’s not normal to go through life terrified of being abandoned. That the past does not predict the future. You can’t spend the rest of your relationship with Sylus, no matter how long or short it lasts, punishing him for the pain others have caused you.
You roll over in the dark and pepper his face with soft kisses, each one a silent apology for not calling him this week, when he probably needed to be reassured that you still care for the version of him with ears and a tail and stripped of his god-like abilities. How worried must he still be, moving through the world without such abilities, without his customary armor against a hostile world that wants him caged or dead?
As you lean over him, trailing your lips along his skin, his arms snake around you and pull you closer.
“Tell me what I did to deserve this, so I can do it again,” he says, voice raspy from sleep. His tail wraps around your waist.
“I’m afraid I can’t,” you whisper between kisses.
“A hunter’s trade secret?” You can hear his smile in the dark.
“A lover’s inability to properly articulate that all you have to do is continue being you.”
His tail tightens around you, and its end wildly thwacks your back. “That sounded pretty articulate to me. Your words are honeyed—is there a catch?”
You kiss him on his soft lips. His hands run along your hair, down your back.
“Only one way to find out,” you tease.
“I see you’re done pouting. Do I get any other rewards for just being me?” he asks, sly.
“Only one way to find out,” you repeat, nudging his nose with yours.
“Oh, I like surprises.”
“I know,” you say, because you do know that. You know so much about this man already.
He pauses, catches your gaze. “Keep it a secret, okay?”
Yet again, he’s showing you his weakness. Reminding you that he’s taking a risk by being here with you at all, just like you are risking your heart, and everything else, by being here with him. “Your secrets are safe with me, Sy.”
He holds you tighter in response, and you fall asleep in his arms. You don’t dream about anything at all.
***
In the morning, after you’ve made him coffee, after you’ve eaten breakfast and you’ve lounged on the couch with him, watching something stupid on tv while he browses online auctions, you tell him about your Snowy Owl mission. He’s heard of this person, but they’re not colleagues or rivals, moving in different circles. But he knows where to locate them, and you form a plan, inspired by Snowy Owl’s interest in modified wanderers and humans, and Sylus’s twitching ears.
“You want me to act as your catboy butler.” He says it flatly. “Boring.”
You nod. “And I’ll be your owner, willing to sell you to the highest bidder.”
His ears flatten against his hair, despite his bored expression, and his tail whips back and forth, back and forth, slowly. He really hates the idea.
“Do you have a better plan?” you ask.
“Better than you selling me off to someone else? I can think of a few. A carefully placed bomb on the cruise ship, for one.” At your look of discomfort, he continues. “You don’t even have to come. Just check off the mission as accomplished on your little Association to-do list.”
You scowl at him. “I’m supposed to bring Snowy Owl in, not assassinate them.”
“Boring,” he repeats.
“I’m not actually selling you to anyone, Sy. I just need a small distraction, much smaller than a bomb,” you cut him off as he opens his mouth. “While I plant a tracking device with them, once we pinpoint who they are.”
He leans over, rubs his cheek against yours. “What’s my reward for considering this utterly boring plan?” He drags your hand to the base of his tail.
You take the hint, grasping his tail firmly, and he groans. You pull a little, and he lets you, rolling onto his stomach on the couch. You straddle the back of his big, meaty thighs and begin palming his tail, starting at the base where it meets the skin of his lower back, circling your thumb and forefinger around it even though it’s thick enough that your fingers don’t meet. You pull, and pet, over and over again, and his purrs are so loud they start to vibrate the couch.
“Say yes,” you demand. “Put that tux and your new parts to good use before the concert.”
“Fine,” he gasps, as his hips jerk a little, pressing himself into the couch.
“Excellent!” You spring to your feet, heading to the shower. There’s not a moment to waste if you’re going to get this mission over with before his tail and ears disappear.
“Stingy!” he yowls. Literally yowls, like a big tomcat thwarted in his attempt at mating by a mean owner yanking him into the house from the alley where his would-be mate was waiting.
“Consider that the down payment. Upon delivery of your promise, you’ll get the rest,” you say in a sing-song voice, just to further annoy him.
“I want double!” he yowls again, but anything else he might be whining about is cut off when you let the bathroom door close behind you.
***
Sylus has been impeccable for the duration of your agreed-upon mission. Poised, elegant, obedient. He has tolerated you treating him like an object to be admired and dismissed on a whim, even when people approached you not just to express interest in your catboy butler up for bidding, but also when they showed interest in getting to know the mysterious owner of said catboy butler more intimately.
The only indication that he was perhaps not entirely pleased with his code name was a flick of his cat ears and one hard thwack of his tail against the rail of the cruise ship when you first said, “Please fetch me more of the strata, Mister Whiskers,” in front of the other guests on the dining deck.
Furthermore, he only tried to attack and eat one person’s pet parrot, and he dropped the seagulls he kept catching at each ordered “Drop it, Mister Whiskers!” from you every time.
All in all, you think that you’re having a harder time than he is. High tea is over, seagulls have been caught and released, and you’ve already collected a number of business cards and varying degrees of subtle invitations to further discuss your catboy butler. You’ve navigated each diplomatically, and are rather proud of yourself, but your own patience is wearing thin as you stand at a luxurious bar in a small lounge on one of the upper decks of the cruise ship. The floor to ceiling windows give a lovely view of the blood-red sunset over the water—it reminds you of Sylus’s eyes. The evening, and therefore the black market trading, is about to begin in earnest. You’re waiting for a mocktail—you’re on the job, and you are a professional after all—when yet another person sidles up to you. Sylus, who has been standing at a respectable distance from you at relaxed attention, hands crossed behind his back, looking coolly over the people scattered at elegant standing tables, ears swiveling at constant alert, looks toward the newcomer, but he makes no move to come closer to you. It occurs to you that one of the reasons you are feeling increasingly off-kilter is that you are so used to Sylus touching you, draping himself over you, maintaining at least a sliver of contact at all times, that this respectful distance makes you feel like he’s standing on the other side of a great canyon.
You turn to the person who is trying to join you at the bar. He’s handsome. Tall, muscular. Dressed nicely, with subtle style. Nothing like your boyfriend’s flashy jeweled necklaces and bold colors. His blue eyes are startling in contrast to his black hair.
“Hi,” he says, smiling a little ruefully, like he wanted to open with something better, but this is all he could think of. He knows that he’s handsome and can skate by on the bare minimum.
You smile faintly back at him, despite wishing Sylus would come closer. “Hi,” you say. You’re not going to do all the work, dammit. This guy wants something from you, not the other way around.
“You’ve caused quite a stir tonight with your… companion,” he says, dark eyebrows lifting, gaze darting to Sylus and back to you again. “It’s made for more entertainment than usual on nights like these.”
You lift an eyebrow in response. “Oh? How so?”
“Watching the sharks circling and getting into tussles about who will ultimately have your pet.”
Your stomach twists at hearing someone other than Sylus calling him a pet. He’s not your pet. He’s your partner. He’s a whole person—a complicated, vicious, funny, cruel, gentle man. You suddenly hate the appraising look this asshole is giving him. But you’re a professional, damn it. You smile wider, going for seductive, amused, haughty.
“No need to tussle,” you tilt your head. “It’s simple. Offer the highest bid, and congratulations, you’re the owner of a new, obedient, exotic pet.”
The fuckhead eyeing Sylus chuckles heartily, as if what you said isn’t disgusting but the height of rich-asshole humor.
“I like the idea of owning the obedience of such a big, powerful creature. Is he willing to do anything you ask?”
The way his gaze keeps flicking to Sylus, as if he can’t help himself, makes you want to remove his eyes with one of your knives and wear them as a warning to anyone else who dares look at Sylus with such depraved, cruel desire.
“Place the winning bid and maybe you’ll find out,” you say coyly, somehow controlling your homicidal urges. Barely.
“Something to consider.” He shakes his head, as if trying to break the spell Sylus seems to have over him. “In any case, after a while, all these events start blurring together. May I buy you a drink, to thank you for dumping new blood in the water?”
This guy is the pinnacle of rich guy ennui. He probably would enjoy dog fights or hunting other people for sport, anything to break through his privileged, seen-it-all, can-buy-it-all numbness. Despite sharing the same status of filthy rich elite, this piece of shit is everything that Sylus isn’t. You want to hunt him for sport. Your nerves are fraying, and it’s getting harder and harder to maintain your composure.
“Shame, I just ordered a drink.”
He leans closer, invades your space.
“Why not indulge? You can have two drinks. And after, perhaps you’d like to show me just what your cat can do… a sort of preview, if you will.” He leans even closer, tilts his head as if a new thought has just occurred to him. “Is there perhaps a possibility of bidding for the pair, instead of just the butler?”
You realize that he’s propositioning you as well as your catboy butler, but the fury you feel at the idea of using Sylus for this fuckhead’s viewing pleasure overrides even your indignation at the insinuation that you, too, are for sale.
Suddenly Sylus’s warmth is at your back and the effect is immediate. Your murderous rage settles inside of you. You turn to him, lift an eyebrow like the imperious owner you’re supposed to be, slightly irritated at your servant’s interruption of… whatever this asshole at the bar thinks he’s getting away with. “Speak,” you command, imitating the most imperious man you know. Sylus, as he has done the entire duration of your appearance in public on this ship, does not react at all to your obvious inside joke.
“My owner,” he purrs deferentially, dipping his head. “You asked that I escort you back to your cabin at 21:00 in order to properly prepare for the bidding.”
The asshole’s gaze drifts from Sylus to you and back again. “A possessive cat, I see. What will he do, when his owner abandons him to another?”
You shrug, as if you don’t want to pull this guy’s tongue out of his mouth and garrotte him with it.
“As I said, buy him and find out,” you breathe through the nausea, trying desperately to stay in character—you are the same ilk as this guy, here to pawn your broken, loyal manservant onto anyone who can afford him. “But he’s right. Thank you for the interesting … offer, but the auction is about to begin. Tick tock, tick tock.”
“You’re a very good salesperson,” he smirks, as if pleased with the idea of depriving Sylus of his beloved owner and seeing if he can bend him to his will. You can’t see why you ever thought him handsome at all. “A raincheck, then, on the drink, and perhaps your own company.”
You just lower your head slightly, barely suppressing the urge to put this man on the ground and punch his smug smile until he is permanently unrecognizable, and the intensity of your renewed desire to hurt him for daring to even look at Sylus has you reaching for Sylus’s arm for support. He tucks your hand into his elbow and leads you out of the lounge.
When you finally reach your first class cabin on this pretentious floating black market, however, you see the strain that his flawless behavior has placed on your miscreant boyfriend.
As soon as the door closes behind you, he growls, deep in his throat, and spins, grabbing your wrist. He pulls you more roughly than usual through the elegant sitting room—the place looks like the interior designer was trying to recreate the staterooms of the Titanic—to the bedroom. Without letting go of your wrist, he yanks the scarlet velvet duvet and crisp white sheets from the bed and dumps them on the floor. The ocean glitters under the bright moonlight outside the bedroom’s window, the salt scent strong. The bed successfully stripped, Sylus now tries to jerk you onto the mattress, but you dig your heels into the plush carpet, feet dragging because despite your own strength, you can’t match his. You jerk your wrist from his grasp and whirl on him. You are willing to die for him, but you aren’t going to let him manhandle you like this.
“What is wrong with you?” you demand, rubbing your wrist.
“If I still had my evol, you’d be on the bed.” His voice is still calm, but his tail flicks angrily.
“If you still had your evol, I hope you wouldn’t use it on me when you’re this upset,” you glare at him.
He doesn’t respond, just begins to pace. Around the bed. Back into the sitting room. He veers into the bathroom and then returns to the bedroom. The anxious energy he’s giving off is palpable—you’ve never seen him this agitated in the entire time you’ve known him.
The longer he’s quiet, the more concerned you become. 
“Sylus?” you ask, softly. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m Sylus again? Not Mister fucking Whiskers?”
You stare at him. Your boyfriend, who is always up for teasing pet names and playful banter, is looking at you like he’s genuinely angry about the silly code name.
“Sylus—?”
His tail is thrashing back and forth as he continues to pace, ears flat against his hair. “Are you sure you’re interested in hearing how Mister Whiskers is doing now? You didn’t seem to be too interested when you were being fawned over by your suitors.”
You stare at him. At the tension he’s holding in his body, the wild movements of his tail.
“Sylus—”
“This was a boring plan to begin with, and now it’s even less interesting. You already have a mountain of gifts from my bidders—leave. Go through them to see if Snowy Owl has taken the bait so we can get this charade over with,” he snaps, effectively dismissing you. He sits on the side of the bed and puts his head in his hands.
With each harsh word, you feel your insides folding in on themselves. He hasn’t spoken to you like this since he held you captive when you first met. He promised he’d never treat you like that again, but you realize he never promised to never speak to you like that again.
Normally, how he’s talking to you—if it were any other person, you’d be out the door. Gone, ghosted. You speak to yourself cruelly enough every day in your own head, you don’t need that shit from other people. You’re even more shocked that it’s coming from Sylus, of all people. The Sylus who has cared for you so patiently, through all the time you’ve been together since that first auction. Who kills with his bare hands, but touches you with those same hands as if you’re made of glass. Until tonight.
You are tempted to run as the betrayal, confusion, and fear of the inevitable end course through you. To just stuff the gifts waiting for you on the sitting room’s coffee table into one of the big duffels you brought, move to another room, and wing the rest of the operation without Sylus. You can pose as a fucking waiter once you figure out Snowy Owl’s identity. You don’t need him for this mission. And you don’t need him in your fucking life, if this is his true self.
As you’re almost to the door leading to the hallway, reaching for the handle, you suddenly remember your promise to yourself, just a few nights ago—the night Sylus came to your place and you learned why he had gone silent for a whole week.
Your resolution that you wouldn’t give in to your fear at his expense anymore, that you would show him you care for him, just as he has done so for you through all of your time together. Even when he witnessed your worst moments, he did not walk away from you. He stayed, even as you pushed him away.
You think about how he was afraid for you to see him stripped of his power, as if you’d ever think him weak, and think less of him for something outside of his control. If I still had my evol, you’d be on the bed. How unnerving must it be for him to be in this shark’s tank without his ability to protect himself beyond his own body? It suddenly occurs to you that if he gets injured while his power is suppressed, he won’t heal like he normally does. The idea that he could get seriously hurt while here, helping you on a mission that has nothing to do with him, hurts a hundred times worse than the words he just snapped at you.
Weren’t you just furious with that fuck from the cocktail lounge for talking about Sylus like he was an object, instead of a person? Sylus is a human being. He’s not a god. He’s not perfect. He’s just a complicated man, a complicated man who hurt you with his harsh words tonight, but who has steadfastly shown how much he cares for you in the best way he knows how. Who could be expected to act normally, to be their best self, if one were to find oneself fundamentally changed, stripped of a lifetime of skill and ability, experiencing strange new urges, and to top it all off, thrown into a dangerous situation? 
You turn and walk back through the sitting room, to the bedroom where he’s sitting, head still in his hands. You stand in front of him.
“Sylus.”
He doesn’t respond. You reach out, gently grip his chin, and lift his face.
He lets you, docile. His cat ears are drooping.
“Tell me,” you order.
He refuses to look at you. His tail swishes petulantly behind him. 
“Tell. Me.” You tighten your hold on his jaw.
His eyes flick to yours, but he keeps his face turned away. “Caracal’s hate water.”
You gaze into his beautiful eyes, fire-lit gems. “And a caracal is the type of cat that you’ve partly mutated into?”
He nods, just a little movement of his head.
“And I brought you onto a boat, surrounded by water.”
He finally turns his head to face  you, gazing at you but not responding.
“What else?” You relax your hold on his jaw, moving your palm to cup his cheek and bring up your other hand into his hair, running your fingers through the soft strands.
“Each person who shook your hand, who handed you their business card, who leaned too close to you… their stench is all over you.”
You run your fingers through his hair until you reach one of his cat ears and gently begin to rub it. He closes his eyes and he leans into your touch.
“What else?”
“If this plan goes sideways, I won’t be able to protect you.”
With each admission, his shoulders relax. His face softens. But there’s still something bothering him. You search his beautiful face. His tail flicks, flicks, flicks.
“What else, Sy?” You lean down, rest your cheek against his soft hair. His ears are velvet against your skin.
He reaches out and clasps the backs of your thighs to pull you closer to him and rests his forehead against your chest. “Even if it’s just for the mission, are you really okay with letting someone else have me?”
It takes you a moment, but when you realize what he’s saying, you’re floored. 
Sylus has spent the whole evening watching you laugh off multiple peoples’ offers to take over ownership of your catboy butler. He watched you tell that little bitch at the bar, more than once, to buy Sylus to find out how obedient he is, how he’ll react to being parted from his beloved owner. Each time, you responded in character, like the idea didn’t bother you at all. Because that’s what the mission required. 
You realize that this entire ordeal has made him insecure. He wants you to be jealous. He wants you to be possessive of him. The thought never once crossed your mind that he would be bothered by the cover you planned for this mission. He is always so self-assured, only hinting at flashes of jealousy in playful, dismissive terms. And yet he doesn’t want you to be okay with the idea of him being possessed by another, no matter how briefly, no matter how falsely.
You continue to pet him as you let everything he just admitted sink in. The water, other peoples’ scents on your body, his lack of power at the moment, your lack of jealousy at the mere idea that another would have him.
After all the times Sylus has comforted you, cared for you, solved problems for you, it’s now your turn to do the same for him.
You drop your hands and he looks back up at you with such raw longing that you almost can’t step away. But you must.
“Would you like to abort the mission?”
He looks at you in confusion. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is your job.”
You smile down at him helplessly. “Don’t you realize by now that you’re more important to me than my job?”
He sucks in a breath.
“How else could I be with the most wanted man on the planet?”
“The only reason I have been able to repress my instincts through this whole shitshow is reminding myself how important this mission is to you,” he breathes, closing his eyes.
“Your instincts?”
“You have no idea,” he says through clenched teeth. His tail is violently flicking again. You can’t bear to see him so distressed.
“Yes or no. Forget what you think I want. If it’s too much, we leave right now.”
Eyes still closed, ears still flattened to his head, he shakes his head no.
“Okay.” You turn, but he reaches out and grabs your wrist to stop you leaving. You put your hand over his. “Since I can’t remove the ship from the water, I’m just closing the window and the curtains so you don’t have to see it.”
He reluctantly releases your wrist. You do as you promised, and when you’re done you return to stand between his legs.
“What do you need to do about how I smell?”
You don’t have to repeat yourself. He grasps your wrist again, pulling your closer. He grabs the hem of your outfit and pulls, tugging it over your head, lifting your legs one by one to tear off your shoes, tossing everything into the farthest corner of the room, until you’re standing in front of him in your underwear. He then pulls you down onto the bed with him, rolling you under him. He presses his face into your neck and rubs, rubs, his tail wagging behind him, his ears brushing against your skin again, their softness making you want to grab them and pull, pull, the cuteness aggression difficult to contain. You satisfy yourself by running your hands through his hair, gripping slightly, tugging, releasing.
As he rubs his cheeks all over you, he pauses to lick your skin, runs his hands along your shoulders, your arms, your waist.
After a long time, his manic movements slow and he inhales deeply. “You have no idea how hard it was to resist the urge to piss on your shoes while you were talking to that bastard in the cocktail lounge.”
You freeze. “Piss… on my shoes?”
“Didn’t you know? Cats urinate to mark their territory,” he licks your skin again, purrs. “And you’re my territory, sweetheart.”
You don’t even know how to feel about his admission. “Well… I might be willing to die for you, but I draw the line at letting you pee on me. So thank you, for not giving in to your caracal urges.”
He pauses, lifts his head. “Don’t fucking say you’ll die, ever again,” he growls. “I forbid it.”
You laugh, a little breathlessly. You decide it’s not a good time to point out that you will, in fact, someday die. Probably sooner than the average human, with your job. So you just say “Okay.”
He looks mollified and his tail begins to swish playfully again. “So that’s a no on watersports, in the future?”
You scowl at him. “Just try to piss on me and see what happens.”
“That sounds like a challenge. And you know that’s like catnip to this big cat. Are you sure you aren’t actually interested in golden showers?”
All you can do is laugh, and pull him down to you, and kiss him so he’ll shut the fuck up about peeing on you.
After a few minutes of mauling him, you groan and pull away.
“If we don’t want this entire thing to be a waste, we need to check the contacts we made today and finish the mission before the auction is over.”
He rests his head against your shoulder. “I know, but I don’t want to get off you. No one can hurt you as long as you’re under me,” he grumbles.
You stare at the ceiling and run your hands through his hair again, fondling his cat ears. “I survived before I met you, because I’m a fucking badass. I’m strong enough for the both of us, especially for a covert mission like this. We go through the business cards and gifts, pinpoint Snowy Owl’s room, you distract them for ten minutes while I plant surveillance, we get the fuck out before the auction’s over.”
“You and I both know how quickly plans get fucked,” he murmurs into your skin.
“And you and I both know that I am skilled enough to unfuck it. And with you here, even without your evol, it’s going to be okay.”
His tail lifts, curls up your leg.
“Fine.” He rolls off of you reluctantly, and you immediately miss his weight. “But the reward for going along with your plan is now tripled.”
“You can have anything you want, when this is over,” you promise, sliding off the bed and gathering your clothes from the floor.
“Even a golden shower?”
You throw your shoe at him. He just catches it and laughs, relaxed again.
After you’re dressed, the two of you tear into the gifts people sent hoping to gain your favor and therefore an advantage in the auction for your catboy butler. Sylus, the spoiled creature that he is, tosses multiple priceless trinkets aside like they’re trash, complaining about being bored out of his mind. However, he bats at a feathered butt plug before realizing what he’s doing and then tosses it as well. The only other thing he expresses even a passing interest in is a little spray can with DOCTOR SLEEPYTIME printed on the side, with the caption reading, “A stalker’s new best friend! Never worry about your target waking up too early again! Ten fewer side effects than chloroform!” You squint at it. The legal disclaimers are a solid block of text underneath the caption. Apparently, one of the side effects that it still shares with chloroform is death. You don’t comment when you see Sylus slip it into the breast pocket of his tux, not even wanting to know what he has planned for it. Finally, you open a small box and realize that the weird little thing inside matches the description the Association provided you of Snowy Owl’s calling card.
“Got you,” you whisper triumphantly, pawing through the packaging to figure out which room it came from.
Sylus stands, prepared to play his part in this little ruse, but you stop him before he opens the door. “Wait a second,” you say, running to the bedroom, throwing open your luggage in the cabin’s closet, and pulling out what you had hastily prepared in anticipation of this mission.
You return to Sylus with the item hidden behind your back.
“You asked if I’m really okay with the idea of sending you to someone else.”
He just watches you in silence, ears twitching in curiosity, tail swishing behind him.
“Of course I’m not. You don’t know how badly I wanted to slit that fucker’s throat who talked about you like you’re not even a person. I feel sick at the idea of anyone else looking at you with anything less than respect and admiration, let alone as some kind of object to be owned. I can’t even stand the thought that I own you. You are wholly your own person, and I’m just happy that you want me by your side, and allow me to adore you.”
His tail swishes faster the longer you speak, but stills at your last sentence. “But you do own me. Body and soul.”
You swallow through the thickness in your throat. You’re not going to cry at his absurd, devoted answer.
“Then perhaps you will do me the honor of wearing this while we’re apart.” You show him the soft black leather collar. “It can only be placed on you, and taken off you, by a person whose pheromones match those of your owner. Your true owner.”
“So this was your trump card,” he murmurs, tail thwacking against the door so hard that the door vibrates.
You shrug. “You don’t have to wear it.”
He flattens his ears against his head. “Nonsense. Put it on me,” he commands imperiously.
You try to hide your smile, but probably fail. “In that case, I hope it will remind you that I am definitely not okay with sending you to someone else. But none of this is real, and when we’re off this boat, I’m never going to ask you to do something like this again.”
He reaches out and wraps his hand around your wrist. “How many times must we go over this? You can ask anything of me.”
“Just because I can, doesn’t mean I want to.”
Without waiting for his answer, you unclasp the collar and lift onto your tiptoes to thread it around his neck. He growls softly, in annoyance or exasperation, and sinks to his knees in front of you.
As always when Sylus kneels before you, you’re overcome with a sense of wrongness. But he seems to want to give this to you, to drive home the point that anything he has is yours for the taking. You can’t find it in yourself to refuse him by insisting that you could have reached his neck just fine without him having to kneel.
You lay the collar against his neck, thread the end through the buckle, and tighten it. His eyes are half-lidded, the glow of his irises spilling from between his eyelashes. He seems to be enjoying this so much that you tighten it just a little bit beyond what is necessary, just to see his reaction. He lets out a pathetic little gasp, and you loosen it, worried you’ve hurt him. But his chest expands and his ears droop, almost as if he’s disappointed. So you tighten it again. “Yes,” he breathes. 
You stand there, with this gorgeous, half-feral man at your feet, fingering the pendant of the collar. You couldn’t afford the platinum that you think Sylus deserves, so silver had to do. But you did splurge a little to have your initials engraved on the inner side of the pendant, so that it’s pressed against his skin where no one else can see it. Your little secret against his pulse.
“We need to get moving, Sy,” you whisper, regretfully.
He rises gracefully to his feet.
“If you want it taken off, just ask.”
He gives you a disdainful look, his only response a tsking sound on his tongue. He leans down, kisses you, once, hard, and then straightens. He turns, throws open the door, and disappears down the hallway.
The rest of the mission goes off without a hitch. When you arrive at Snowy Owl’s door, you pick the lock easily, slip into the empty room, leave a variety of tracking devices in their possessions, and slip out again unseen.
You return to your room, prepared to wait for Sylus, trying to suppress the worry that he’ll have to put up with yet another handsy asshole all because he doesn't want to jeopardize your mission.
However, when you open the door, you find your big, beautiful cat already lounging on one of the sitting room’s ornate love seats, examining his nails and humming leisurely.
At his feet is the asshole from the cocktail lounge,  bound, gagged, and clearly roughed up, his bloody nose dripping into the fabric of his mouth gag.
“The fuck, Sylus?” you ask.
Sylus rolls his head to look at you, lovely eyes glowing in the light of the tiffany lamps on the tables on either side of the love seat.
“I brought a gift for my owner,” he says, ears twitching between you and the asshole who started to struggle at your entrance, making little pleading whimpering noises. “I could tell how much you hated this waste of oxygen the whole time you had to endure his attention at the bar.”
“A… gift?” you repeat.
“You have no idea the self control it took to suppress the instinct to bring him to you as a corpse, as nature intended, when I was done playing with him. But I assumed that would make my owner mad,” he says languidly, but his tail is flicking in agitation.
“Okay,” you draw out the word, trying to process this… gift. “And Snowy Owl?”
“Passed out in a janitor’s closet in the ship’s casino,” he shrugs. “Doctor Sleepytime is true to its claims. A great improvement over chloroform,” he drawls. “I’ll have to leave a good review on their website.”
Relief floods through you. You’re done. The mission is almost complete. All that’s left is to get the fuck off this floating cesspool.
“Thank you,” you murmur. But you’re still left with the problem of what to do with Sylus’s ‘gift.’ “But Sy, what the fuck am I supposed to with… this.” You can’t help but sneer a little at the asshole still struggling on the ground.
“Whatever you want, my heart,” Sylus responds. “He’s wanted in Linkon City by at least three different agencies. But we could just dump him over the railing and be done with it. In fact, I’d prefer that,” he says, perking up.
You march over to him and slip a finger under his collar.
“No! Bad kitty,” you scold, pulling a little on the leather, intending to simply tease him for his outrageous suggestion.
Sylus just gasps, eyes going half lidded again. You stop in surprise at the clear pleasure your rough treatment is causing him, but he wraps his hand around your wrist and moves your hand again, tightening the collar against his neck once more.
“If I’m a bad kitty, you better keep a tight hold on me to make sure I don’t drag home any other unwelcome surprises,” he says, voice low and rough.
“Oh?” You marvel at how lovely he looks, cheeks flushed, mouth slightly open, breathing hard. “Maybe my bad kitty needs to be punished, so he stops suggesting I murder wanted criminals instead of bringing them to justice like a professional.”
The man on the floor who is forced to witness this flirtation struggles harder, his whimpers ranging from disgusted to terrified. You ignore him.
“Oh nooo,” Sylus says, voice dripping with sarcasm. Then he narrows his eyes. “You better make good on your promise. Or are you just full of empty threats?”
You lean down and press the heel of your hand onto his hard cock straining against his zipper, hard. He moans, eyelashes fluttering.
“Get us to the getaway boat without causing a scene and you’ll find out what I’m full of. Or what I’m about to be full of, if you’re a good kitty for me,” you breathe into his ear.
The man on the floor gags a little.
Sylus stands, lifting you in one arm, grabbing a full duffel bag you hadn’t noticed with the other.
“What’s that?”
“Your bad kitty helped himself to a cat treat,” he purrs.
“What kind of souvenir?”
“The loud, prone-to-exploding-if-you-shake-it-too-hard-kind.” He grins at you, canines flashing.
You can’t help yourself. You burst out laughing.
It may have started with trouncing your crimelord boyfriend at kitty cards, but it ended with you learning how to better care for your catboy boyfriend. It also ended with the arrest of both Snowy Owl and the poor bastard who had to listen to you 'punish' said boyfriend from inside the duffel bag that he was stuffed in after Sylus cut the engine of the getaway boat halfway to your destination, too impatient to wait till you both got home to claim part of his reward for being such a good, good kitty.
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blakbonnet · 9 months ago
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Best Boyfriend Edward Teach + IN EVERY EPISODE OF OFMD S2 today's crew shoutout for my poison into positivity series goes out to @babykittenteach for being absolutely incredible, whether it's creating the most gorgeous art of the boyfriends or even filling in prompts in the cutest way possible. CEO of catboy!Ed and just one of the best additions to the fandom for being a cool and lovely person! Where would we be without regular doses of sunshine from your gorgeous art, and please know that some of your gifs live in my head rent free, as does your sleepy Ed that you sent over on my b'day (that you might not even remember but it made my day) so thank you for existing! <3
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nanamis-bigtie · 8 months ago
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JJK MEN WEARING A SEXY COSTUME FOR YOU
featuring: gojo, ino, takaba, naobito, geto, toji, higuruma, ijichi, nanami, choso, naoya, shiu, kusakabe, sukuna, yaga cw: ambiguous reader, suggestive themes a/n: various ideas were stuck with me since i saw this sukuna fanart by @clumsyraccoon and i finally put them together in my online notebook; i finally got myself to write my underrated husband takaba too, yay!
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100% into that
Gojo
What is sex if not fun? Sticking to one outfit or doing stuff butt-naked would be boring and boredom is the last thing Gojo wants to have incorporated into his sex life. He's the one bringing this up, actually, one day appearing in the bedroom as a sexy nurse. He changes costumes more often than his everyday outfits, until he gets bored and returns for a while to the classic naked routine.
what he would wear: literally anything. he would fuck even in a fursuit
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Ino
Sweet boyfriend Ino has quite a kinky side to him and likes to experiment. You're proposing, he's in, no questions asked—and gods above, he feels amazing while dressing up for you. Rather than coming up with ideas, he lets you dress him however you desire; he prefers costumes to be tied to his submissive strike.
what he would wear: sexy bunny costume, catboy/puppy attire, lingerie
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Takaba
He takes to costumes and crossdressing like a duck to water, he's a professional, after all. No shame and no restrictions to imagination found—and he loves to roleplay while in costume, so be ready to be encouraged to wear a matching one. Takaba is pretty flexible when it comes to adapting to your whims, so whether you prefer a submissive femboy or a leather daddy, you will have it.
what he would wear: he's down to anything you propose but personally loves burlesque the most
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Naobito
He has a huge crossdressing and role reversal kink, and he lets you know about it beforehand—he can't imagine sex without a little dress up game from time to time, so if it's a big no for you, you won't be compatible partners. He doesn't expect you to wear a costume as well but will be delighted if you play along, especially with his favorite geisha & customer game.
what he would wear: traditional feminine japanese attire
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likely
Geto
Himself, Geto is rather indifferent when it comes to what he's wearing (or not) during spicy moments. But he likes to spoil you in bed and to nurture your kinky side, so he will take a mental note whenever you come up with dressing-up or roleplay ideas, and strike when you expect it the least despite the slow build-up he prepares on the way. He leaves a trace of his schemes, lets you run into clues, like browsing history or a receipt "recklessly" left on display. You will know what awaits you—but never for sure and never when.
what he would wear: priest attire, sexy bunny costume, nurse costume, latex, lingerie
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Toji
What are some clothes in comparison to all those wild and weird things he's done with all those women for a place to stay. He even likes it but he's usually just too lazy and believes that, in the end, the simplicity and naked bodies are the best. So, sometimes you have to coax him into wearing what you want—but for Toji there's no such a inconvenience that couldn't be bribed with a bowl of good ramen or a blowjob.
what he would wear: leather, uniforms and working clothing, cosplay
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Higuruma
He's just unsure if he's more into that or into the overwhelming embarrassment he feels when you put him into a costume. He hasn't done it with previous partners and, on top of everything, no matter how hard he tries, he can't quite click with roleplaying, if it comes with the costume. In the end he almost always caves but he definitely feels more confident in outfits that don't require coming up with acting.
what he would wear: suits, uniforms and working clothing, priest attire
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Ijichi
The thing about him is that he just...doesn't have heart to say no, and once he finds himself in the middle of situation, in crushing majority he's so much into that he scares himself. Dressing up at least doesn't come with the aftertaste of "in the end, it did awaken something in me". Prefers to be dressed up like a doll rather than coming up with costume ideas
what he would wear: crossdressing, sexy bunny costume, catboy costume, cosplay of female characters, maid costume
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rather unlikely
Nanami
He just...doesn't get the appeal. Will do it for you, if you insist really hard, but it's a special kind of a treat and you won't get it often. Once he gets into the attire though, he's dedicated to his task for 100%. Nanami never does his job half-heartedly, if you want to have a sexy maid, you will have a sexy maid to the tiniest detail.
what he would wear: leather, suit or uniform, maid costume for crossdressing & role reversal roleplay | i actually did write something about the latter...
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Choso
Poor soul, it's almost too embarrassing for him. He blushes so hard he gets scarlet-red all over his face, stutters and ineffectively tries to bolt from the place where you attacked him with your ideas. Why do you want him to do this, it's weird, he looks weird, why can't you two have normal sex? Eventually gives up if you pester him long enough but he gets so submissive about it it's almost more adorable than sexy.
what he would wear: any cute attire. he looks surprisingly good in cute, lolita fasion inspired dresses
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Naoya
He's rolling his eyes and scoffing even before you finish explaining him your idea. It's ridiculous, you are ridiculous, if you hoped he will do as you please and put that hideous outfit on (after all, anything that hasn't been chosen by Naoya himself is hideous by definition). He has more pride and praise kink than braincells, though, so he will cave just to show off. He loves it but he will rather be skinned alive than admit it to you.
what he would wear: if you stroke his ego hard enough, he will literally wear anything, even the most stupid outfit possible
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Shiu
A sly smirk dances on his lips when he's listening and counting how many favours he can squeeze out of you in exchange for what you're asking him to do. He never explicitly says yes or no, so you're not sure whether he hates the idea or quite contrary; it's always an exchange of goods for him and you need to be prepared for hard negotiations.
what he would wear: oh baby, that completely depends on how much you're willing to pay for your whim...
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you need a miracle
Kusakabe
If you thought Choso is the peak of embarrassed blush, look at Kusakabe's face when you show him the bunny ears you bought in a sex shop. He stutters and talks way too loudly, has no idea what to do with hands, paces around as he explains why absolutely never and why did you even bring this to him, is this a joke and if it is, then a very not funny one. Will, reluctantly, try, if you're pleading long enough, as conscience gnaws on him and calls him out for being a coward.
what he would wear: sexy bunny. once. never again until you effectively bribe him
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Sukuna
You really have the gall to ask him for such things in the first place—but, luckily for you, he loves when you're being bold. Just don't overuse your special privilege if you don't want to have it revoked and face...consequences. Be patient, he will wait for the right moment and eventually reward you for your assets. It's an exceptionally rare moment, so treasure it.
what he would wear: leather, uniforms, genderbend cosplay of female characters
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Yaga
He's too old for this, leave him alone. The best that you will squeeze out of him is one of the suits he doesn't wear anymore but doesn't want to get rid of it either. And still, as soon as the matters get closer to sex, he will just take it off.
what he would wear: he's a hopeless case, let him be the boomer he wants to be or else he will ruin any outfit for you
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