#one of our staff stopped in and we were talking about the office worker who got fired recently | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

that-disabled-radfem · 3 years ago

Text

Happy back-to-school y’all

I’ve attended and worked at a couple of super liberal universities. I avoid the gender studies departments for obvious reasons and I still had a lecture in which the female prof gave a brief overview of TERFs and proclaimed her hatred of JKR. Being openly critical of gender ideology, the porn industry, kinks, and ‘sex work’ are the kind of things that can ruin your future in academia. Not to mention the fact that any speech or actions that could be labelled transphobic (ie. defining woman as adult human female) can get you a suspension according to many universities anti-hate-speech policies.

So, here’s a list of small and smallish (small in terms of overt TERFery, some may require more effort than others) radical feminist actions you can take as a university student:

(this is a liberal arts perspective so if you’re a stem gal this may not apply. but also if you’re in stem maybe you can actually acknowledge that women are oppressed as a sex class without getting kicked out of school. idk)

(Note for TRAs hate reading this: One of the core actions of radical feminism is creating female networks. This is not so that we can brainwash people into being anti-trans. This is because female solidarity is necessary for creating class consciousness and overturning patriarchy. It is harder to subjugate the female sex when we stand together.)

Take classes with female profs. Multiple sections of a class? Pick the one taught by a woman. Have to chose an elective? Only look at electives offered by women. When classes have low numbers they get cancelled. When classes are super popular, universities are forced to consider promoting the faculty that teach them

Make relationships with these female profs. Go to office hours. Chat after class. Ask them about their research. Building female networks is sooooo important!

Actually fill in your end of year course feedback forms. Profs often need these when applying for tenure or applying for a job at another university so it is very important (especially with young and/or new profs) that you fill out these forms and give specific examples of how great these women are. Go off about what you love about them! Give her a brilliant review because you know the idiot boy in that class who won’t shut up even though he knows nothing is going to give her only negative feedback because he thinks any woman who leaves the house is a feminazi b*tch.

(note: obviously don’t go praising any prof - female or male - who is blatantly racist, homophobic, etc.)

(Also if you have shitty male profs write down all the horrible things they have done and said and put it in these forms because once a shitty man gets tenure they are virtually untouchable)

(also also, leave a good review on rate my profs or whatever other thing students use to figure out if they want to take classes. idc if you copy paste your feedback from the formal review. rave about the class to your friends. do what you can to get good enrolment for that prof for reasons above.)

Participate in class. Talk over the male students. Say what you mean and mean it. Call out the boys when they say dumb shit

Write about women. If you have the option to make a text written by a woman your primary text in an essay, do it. Pick the female-centred option if you’re writing an exam-essay with multiple prompts. (Profs often look at what works on their syllabus are being written about/engaged with as a marker of whether to keep those texts the next time they teach the class. If there are badass women on your syllabus, write about them to keep them on the syllabus) Use female-written secondary sources whenever possible.

(pro tip: many women in academia are more than happy to talk to you about their papers. expand your female networks by reaching out to article authors through email and asking them about their cool shit)

Get your essays published! Many departments have undergrad journals you can publish in. This will ensure more people read about the women you write about and will demonstrate to the department that people like learning about women

Consider trying to publish your undergrad essay with a legit peer-reviewed journal. If you can do it, your use of female-written secondary sources boosts the reputations of the women who wrote those secondary sources. Also this helps generally to increase scholarship about women’s writing!

Present your papers at conferences! Many schools have their own undergraduate/departmental conferences that you can present at. Push yourself by submitting to outside conferences. Bring attention to women’s works by presenting your papers. Take a space at a conference that would otherwise be reserved for mediocre men

Talk to your profs and/or your department and/or your university about mandating the inclusion of female works in classes if this isn’t something they do already

Sit next to other women in your classes. Talk to them. Make friends. Form study groups. Proofread each other’s essays. Give each other knowing looks when the boys are being dumb. Just interact with other women! Build those female networks!

Be generous with your compliments. A female classmate and I were talking to a prof after class and the classmate told me (out of the blue) that I always have such interesting things to say. I think about that whenever I’m lacking confidence about my academic skills. Compliment the women in your classes for speaking up, for sharing their opinions, for challenging your classmates/profs, for doing cool presentations, etc.

Talk to other women about sexist things going on on campus. Make everyone aware of the sexist profs. Complain about how there are many more tenured men than tenured women. Go on rate my professor and be explicit about how the sexist profs are sexist

Be active on campus and in societies. If a society has an all male executive or is male-dominated, any women who join that society make it less intimidating for more women to join. Run for executive positions! Bring in more women!

(Pro tip: Many societies’ elections are super gameable. You can be eligible to vote in a society election sometimes just by being a student at that university — even without having done anything with the society before. Other societies might just require that you’ve taken a class in a particular department or attended a society event. (Check the society’s governing documents.) Use those female networks you’ve been building. If you can bring three or four random people to vote for you, that might be enough for you to win. Societies have trouble meeting quorum (the minimum number of people in attendance to do votes) so it is really super achievable to rig an election with a few friends. And don’t feel bad about this. The system is rigged against women so you have every right to exploit loopholes!)

(Also feel free to go vote “non-confidence”/“re-open election” if only shitty men are running. Too often people see that only candidates they don’t like are running and so they give up. But you can actually stop them getting elected)

Your campus may have a LGBTQIA+alphabetsoup society. That society definitely needs more L and B women representation. It may be tedious to argue with the nb straight dudes who insist that it’s fine to use “q***r” in the society’s posters and that attraction has nothing to do with genitals, but just imagine what could happen if we could make these sorts of societies actually safe spaces for same-sex attracted women and advocated for our concerns

Attend random societies’ election meetings. Get women elected and peace out. (or actually get involved but I’m trying to emphasize the lowest commitment option with this one)

Write for the campus newspaper. Write about what women are doing - women’s sports, cool society activities, whatever. Review female movies, books, tv shows, local theatre productions. Write about sexism on campus. We need more female by-lines and more stories about women

Get involved with your campus’s sexual assault & r*pe hotline/sexual assault survivor’s centre/whatever similar organization your campus has if you can. This is hard work and definitely not for everyone (pls take care of yourself first, especially if you are a survivor)

(If your campus doesn’t have an organization for supporting survivor’s of sexualized violence, start one! This is probably going to be a lot of hard work though, so don’t do it alone)

Talk to your student council about providing free menstrual hygiene products on campus if your campus doesn’t already do this. If your campus provides free condoms (which they probs do), use that as leverage (ie. ‘sex is optional, menstruation is not. so why do we have free condoms and no free pads?’)

If you’re an older student, get involved with younger students (orientation week and such activities are good for this). Show the freshman that you can be a successful and well-liked woman without shaving your legs, wearing heels, wearing make-up, etc. Mentor these young women. Offer to go for coffee or proofread essays.

Come to class looking like a human being. Be visibly make-up less, unshaven, unfeminine, etc. to show off the many different ways of being a woman

Talk to the custodial staff and learn their names. (I know there are men who work in this profession, but it is dominated by low-income women) Say hi in the hallways, ask them about their lives, show them they’re appreciated

Be explicit with your language. When you are talking about sex-based oppression, say it. Don’t say ‘sex worker’ when you mean survivor of human trafficking. This tip is obviously a bit tricky in terms of overt TERFyness, so use your best judgement

That’s all from me for now! Feel free to add your suggestions and remember that feminism is about action

#back to school #university #terf safe #terfs DO interact #feminist action

830 notes · View notes

wonwoosthetic · 3 years ago

Text

Amour-Haine & Co. | Chapter 2 |

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 6.7k

"Our COO had a tough first two weeks, and I want to make it up to her."

"Dear Advertising, Web-Designing, and App Developing departments of Oksan & Co.,

From now on, I would like to ask you to direct any questions concerning our network, as well as project-related questions to one of our two CEOs, Jeon Wonwoo. Files can also be handed over to him, as he will be conducting and going through every single one, to make sure the three new merged companies can work to the best of their abilities. We are looking forward to a good and friendly work environment and healthy and happy work-based relationships.

Yours sincerely,

COO Yoon (Y/N)"

This was the email you had sent out to the employees of the company last Friday, making it the last thing on your To-Do list before you had left the building. From Wednesday to Friday, you had let the staff come in and out of your office, leaving files and binders behind, asking you questions you didn't even know the answers to, as well as complaining about other co-workers. You waited for the end of the week to inform all employees about the new guidelines, that the CEO didn't know of... yet. Thankfully, Jeon Wonwoo and his new IT team hadn't fully yet figured out the old network your father and his workers had built up, therefore still giving you access to the email account of the CEO, which you used gladly.

Your action got you to sleep peacefully, and enjoy the weekend as much as you possibly could, also being the reason why you entered the office with a smile on your face on Monday.

On your way to your room, you passed other employees and greeted them with a bright smile. Walking through the hallways until you reached your office, the calming thought of knowing you wouldn't have to go through any kinds of files you didn't have any knowledge about didn't leave your mind.

As soon as you reached your desk, you shrugged the bag off your shoulder and threw yourself onto the rolling chair. You unknowingly started humming while turning on the computer, finding comfort in knowing no one was going to barge into your office. Before you could start your relaxed workday, a knock on the door stopped you,

"Good morning," Jisoo's cheerful voice rang through your ear, making you smile,

"Morning!"

He crossed the floor until he reached your desk and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of it, looking at you with a smirk. You were typing in the password to get into your computer as you noticed him staring, "Hm?" you wondered, your eyes not leaving the screen.

"You really are something else, you know?"

You let your glance shift over to him, looked at him with raised eyebrows, "What?" and chuckled. He copied your facial expression and leaned forward,

"You're just gonna direct everything you've done to our boss?"

You leaned back, a smirk plastered on your lips, "Tit for tat."

"He's not just gonna let it slide that easily, you're well aware of that, right?" Jisoo worried for you. He had seen the state you had been in throughout the entire week before, and he was not going to let you go through something like that again.

A heavy breath left your lips. You knew it may not have been professional, but did you care? No. No, not really, if you were completely honest with yourself. Because neither was it professional what Jeon Wonwoo was doing with you and your position within the company. And there was no one you could talk to about it who could potentially change that man's mind. So, this would do for the time being.

"Like I said, I'm ready. I don't care what he's gonna do," you propped yourself back up in the chair, "I'm not backing down that easily."

Jisoo pushed himself up onto his feet, ready to leave your office again, to continue his actual job, that you sometimes forgot wasn't chatting with you,

"I always liked that about you." And he left with a smile.

The day went on to be unsurprisingly quiet, as you didn't get interrupted while answering some work-related emails that had made their way into your inbox. After the merging of Oksan Inc., Vortex & Co., and Goyang & Co., other companies had started becoming interested in potentially investing or working with Oksan & Co..

It seemed like the decision made by your father had attracted a lot of other CEOs, which you were thankful for, but for all the wrong reasons. You had to push your pride away and actually focus on the companies well-being, which resulted in you accepting more offers than your humane heart would have ever wanted you to - but you had to separate your work persona from your private one, and thank god you had always been good at that.

The sound of your voice interrupted the work process you had going on. Without drawing your eyes away from the screen, reading another mail, you reached to your right, getting a holt of your phone. After turning it around, you found Jisoo's contact name right at the top with a short message underneath:

Jisoo:

Cafeteria in 5 minutes! :)

Reminding you of the fact that it was already 1 pm and you had had the possibility of starting your lunch at 12, but got distracted by the computer in front of you. You decided to finish the last paragraph you had to read and got up right after, three minutes later. As you were getting your things together, putting all the important stuff you wouldn't want to leave unattended into your bag, a deep voice made you look up,

"We are looking forward to a good and friendly work environment and healthy and happy work-based relationships?" Letting the last sentence of the email you had sent out sound like a question. "We are?" Jeon Wonwoo wondered with one raised eyebrow, looking at you as he kept on standing in the door.

"Yes, we are." You simply stated, already done with packing your bag and ready to leave, but the man didn't let you go that easily.

He nodded slowly, taking big steps into your office, making you sigh, as his eyes found the floor, "I don't know if I would call the COO letting the CEO do all the work a happy and healthy work-based relationship." As the last word fell from his lips, Jeon Wonwoo raised his head, daring to stare into your eyes that hadn't left his form the moment he had appeared.

You shrugged your shoulders and threw the bag over your shoulder, "I'm happy and healthy because of it." And left the room after sending him one last smile, leaving him standing with a smirk while his eyes followed your moving silhouette.

On your way to the elevator, your phone let you know about another message that had just come in.

Jisoo:

You coming?

You quickly replied with a 'Yep' and pushed the button to go downstairs.

Walking into the big open space, you found the man waving at you quickly. You walked over to the table and were about to open your mouth when he beat you to it, "Where the hell have you been, loca?" Making you stop in your tracks, right in front of him.

"I can go back," you warned him, knowing he knew how much you cringed at the quote, getting a chuckle from him in response and him raising his hands in defence, "Sorry, sorry, sorry," he laughed, "Sit. Please." And with a smile, you did just so.

"But seriously," he started again, "Usually, you're here before me."

You placed the bag on the ground and grabbed the fork from the plate that Jisoo had placed pre your arrival, already knowing your usual order,

"Jeon Wonwoo visited me." You simply answered and took the first bite.

The man in front of you slightly choked on the coke he was drinking and quickly put it down, "H-He visited you? What did he say?"

You shook your head, "Nothing important... just wanted to analyse my email, I guess."

After a comfortable meal and chat with your co-worker, you made it back to the elevator, already being 10 minutes late than you should be. As the both of you were waiting for the metal doors to open, a figure appeared next to you, "Good afternoon, Miss Yoon."

You turned your head to the left and had to look up slightly, even though you were wearing heels, and found the face of Kim Mingyu just as he also greeted Jisoo to your right.

"Good afternoon, Mister Kim," you sent him a kind smile and thanked whoever was up there the moment the elevator finally arrived. The tall man put his arm out, motioning for you to step in first, which you thanked him for with a nod, and followed after the other male had also entered.

Never had an elevator ride felt as long as this one did, but apparently, the CEO knew how to small-talk.

"I must say," he fixed his tie with his free hand that wasn't holding the briefcase, "I'm quite offended."

Jisoo's and your head snapped to look at him, "Sorry?" You wondered, eyebrows raised.

A chuckle left Kim Mingyu's lips, "You trust Wonwoo more than me? With all the work?"

Referring to your email, in which you had asked the employees to direct any questions and files to Jeon Wonwoo, the CEO. You didn't mention the co-CEO Kim Mingyu...

You let out a heavy breath, smiling at the light-hearted comment coming from the man to your right, delighted at the humour he had used. "With all due respect, it's most definitely not because I trust him more than you. I... just thought you might already have a lot to do on your own since the entire lower floor is yours, Sir. Mister Jeon seemed a bit bored to me, if I may say so."

He chuckled, "Yes, you may say so. But you may also drop the formalities," and reached his hand out for you to take, "Mingyu." Your eyes drifted down, only to shoot back up and find his kind eyes already looking at you. Jisoo... seemed to may have been right... he was not the one you should be hating on because he was not making you feel miserable.

"Y/N," you smiled back at him and shook his hand, slightly surprised at the tightness of his grip.

The 'ding' of the elevator made the two of you break eye contact, and Mingyu was the first to let go, "Well then," he nodded, "Nice to see you again, Y/N," before addressing the man behind you as well, "Have a good day, Mister Hong." As he exited the small room, your guys' pairs of eyes followed his figure, watching him as he disappeared around the corner. You leaned back on the railing on the wall when Jisoo's head turned towards you, looking at you with wide eyes, "See you again?!" He wondered in a loud voice once the doors had closed.

Your eyes found his, quickly realising what was going through the man's mind, "Not like that!" You stopped him, "We met in my apartment complex last week," and continued your story while both of you walked out to enter the advertisement office floor again, "He said his sister lives there."

"And I thought you already had him wrapped around your fingers..." Jisoo sighed, "I was so excited..."

You chuckled at his comment, always delighted to hear about the person he would tell you you could be.

"But!" He startled you suddenly, "It's never too late," stopping at his office space that he shared with other employees, giving you a smirk.

"No," you shut him down, "No, stop." Not even wanting to know about his mind drifting off to whatever fantasy he had created in his mind for your future. He had a wild life and a wild mind, as you had found out throughout the years of knowing him. Once he started laughing, you couldn't help but join in, getting affected by the sound. But your fun got quickly interrupted by a stern voice coming from beside you,

"I'm not paying you to chat and laugh." Jeon Wonwoo suddenly appeared, noticing the two of you were not in your usual position of working. While Jisoo changed his attitude immediately, bowing and apologizing to his boss, you turned to the side, seeing he had already passed you but was still close enough.

"But you're not paying us at all yet," referring to the fact that he had taken over your father's company in the middle of the month, meaning that your next paycheck would still be in the name of the former CEO, therefore was HE not paying you just yet. Your statement made him turn around and find the bright smile that you sent him, tilting your head in a sarcastically cute manner.

Jeon Wonwoo made his way back, taking slow, yet big steps to approach you, "You want to discuss that in my office, Miss Yoon?" With his hands hidden in his pockets, he stopped right in front of you, not daring to look away from your glance.

You crossed your arms, trying your best to get intimidated by the taller man almost hovering over you, "A CEO should be able to accept when he's in the wrong and gets corrected by the COO."

A slight smirk made its way onto the man's lips, "Oh, I do accept and understand it," looking down before finding your eyes again, "But I don't think you know that I still haven't signed the final contracts about your paychecks yet. One small change and your earnings will be a lot less than before."

"You can't do that," you scuffed at his threat.

"I can do a lot more than you realise," he continued with his warning voice, "But," and chuckled, "My bad... how would you know."

That freaking bastard.

That motherf-

He knew exactly he had hit a soft spot with that statement. With that smirk that wouldn't leave his lips and the hands that were casually resting in his pockets... he knew it. And god, did you hate him for it.

After one last squint and glare, you brushed past him quickly, making sure to bump shoulders with him as you did, but it didn't even make him stumble like you hoped it would - and that just made you even madder. Passing the other offices, you were happy once you had finally reached yours again but stopped in your tracks as soon as you had walked in. It was not most definitely not in the state you had left it in.

The desk that you remembered being pretty much empty was once again filled with folders, from thin to big, in all types of colours, as well as empty black and grey ones. Thank god, you had just gotten past that time of the month, because if not... this would have been your last straw.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath but before you could even open them again,

"You really thought I was just going to let it slide like that?" That deep voice was going to haunt you even in your dreams. You could try to avoid it... it wouldn't work, you knew that.

You turned around, only then noticing how close he was to you, making you take a few small steps back, "Hire a fucking assistant to do your shit," you hissed at him without hesitation.

He entered your office, crossed the room and let himself down on the couch with a coffee table in front of it, "That is neither my shit nor would it be the job of an assistant," pronouncing the swearword you had used particularly sharp after he had told you to watch your language when talking to the CEO.

"Then I'm going to hire one," you simply stated, walking over to the desk and placing your bag on top of the mountain of paper, cardboard, and plastic.

Jeon Wonwoo chuckled at your comment, "Just so I can fire them again?" Making you roll your eyes and let out a heavy breath. He stood up with a smack of his lips and started roaming the room slowly, "I'm gonna assume you haven't realised it yet... even though you appear to be quite smart," he spoke the later part softly, "So I'm just gonna tell you this straight up," before looking you dead in the eyes, "Don't try to win. Just... don't. Because you won't." He came closer to the desk that was separating the two of you, "No matter what you even plan on doing... I'm already at least five steps ahead of you. Whatever you're going to try to do... I will be able to fight back," his eyes scanned the room, noticing you weren't going to interrupt him, before continuing, "I don't know what you're trying to prove here. Or... more like who you're trying to prove it to. But it won't work." With a smile, he ended his speech, "So stop unless you want to lose your job."

As much as his words had left you speechless, you weren't raised to let yourself get put down by some young wannabe entrepreneur, "You can't fire me." Fuck... your voice was shakier than you expected it to be.

Jeon Wonwoo chuckled, "I actually can-"

"I built this company!" You interrupted him with your raised voice, filled with anger and frustration, "I was the one to send out email after email, trying to get some kind of fucking sponsor! I was the one who studied every little thing about what it actually means to have a company instead of just getting the random idea of wanting to have one! I looked for employees to help us out even though we wouldn't be able to pay them much! And now I, as the COO, can do so much more than you know, and I can't be fired!"

"Maybe in the old company," the man seemed unfazed by your outburst, deciding to use an annoying calm tone, "With the new one came new contracts. The one you signed last week? Written by me. I should probably let you read through what you actually signed in your moment of rage." With one last sarcastic facial, the CEO turned his back to you, leaving you unable to talk back as you were able to just stand there in shock. He was right. In the old company, you had always known that the person in the position of COO wasn't able to get fired. Why? You never questioned it. But now... Jeon Wonwoo, in the new position of the owner of the company, had the right to change anything he wanted to change - and so he apparently also did with the contracts. You cursed your past self for not reading through those papers. A mistake you would normally never do, but you had let your anger take over you and your mind...

As you thought he had already left your office, his voice ringing through your ear once again, told you otherwise, "Before considering firing you... maybe I should ask Mister Yoon how to deal with you..." he wondered out loud. How dare he mention his name. You and your father had never had the best relationship. Even though you had worked for him, he never acknowledged the work you were doing for him but was the perfect example of a gaslighting parent, that took your work and credited it as his own, letting the light shine on him.

"Get out," you spat out, ready to cry once that bastard had left your office, but he just continued looking at you, tilting his head slightly pressing his lips together, unhappy with the choice of your words. As much as you would have to respect him, you couldn't at that moment, "Get out before I throw something at you." You warned him one last time, making him squint his eyes, "Mm..." and turn around, "Doesn't sound like employee of the month to me."

"How long has she been lying here like that?"

"I don't know... I came in like thirty minutes ago and passed her office."

"She looks dead."

"What? You think so? Oh god... imagine if work actually kills you."

"I'm not dead, idiots."

The two men screeched and jumped, holding onto each other as they both looked at you wide-eyed. You rubbed your eyes and tried straightening your back but quickly realised that would take longer than expected, thanks to your incredibly uncomfortable position on the carpet.

"You looked like a corpse. Are you kidding me?!" Jisoo raised his voice, filled with concern.

With a heavy breath and the strength you had left in your arms, you managed to push yourself up, sitting with your legs crossed underneath you.

Mingyu looked at you with scrunched eyebrows, "Did you sleep here?" His voice made you look up and sigh,

"Sorry for calling you an idiot, I didn't realise it was you." Remembering the somewhat good terms you were on with the co-CEO.

"It's alright," he chuckled, sitting down on the sofa right next to you, picking up one of the files that surrounded you. Yes, yes you did fall asleep at your workplace. And who was to blame? You can answer that question yourself.

After yesterday's conversation, you had to admit, you got slightly intimidated, knowing that you didn't have as much power as the previous COO had - not even as much power as you had as the President... So yes, you did feel threatened, but it didn't mean you were going to give in as easily as he had probably hoped you would. Again, you were raised differently, had to deal with all kinds of difficult people throughout your life... Jeon Wonwoo was just another one of them.

As Mingyu's fingers turned page after page, his eyes raking over each line they held, he got confused, "You know about HTML and coding?"

With Jisoo's help, you were standing on both of your feet and got to straighten down your hair and clothes, "No," you simply stated, picking up the files you had managed to go through and putting them back on your desk. Last night, you thought it was a good idea to change your position from sitting at your desk to making yourself comfortable on the floor.

"Why do you have these then?" He wondered, getting up to help you.

"Ask your bastard of CEO," with the annoyed undertone of your voice, he knew not to bother you more and decided to let it slide, but definitely not forget about it completely.

You were thankful for it, but Jisoo had a different idea, "He's been giving her all kinds of stuff that she has no idea about. You should have seen the files from last week-" one stern look by you made him shut up quickly. As thankful as you were to have that man by your side, and it looked like Mingyu wasn't too bad of a person to have around either, you still didn't want to dwell on something you were able to/wanted to deal with yourself.

"Alright," the tallest one in the room spoke up after helping you with the folders, "You," he pointed at you, "Go home and get some sleep. Proper sleep." He quickly added, noticing you were about to interrupt him.

"No," you began shaking your head and pushed back the bag he was trying to hand you, "These stupid folders are just gonna get more and more. I want them to be done as soon as possible."

"And I'm gonna deal with them," after dealing with Wonwoo, he added in his mind. "Please, don't worry about them. Get some rest. You've worked hard enough." But as much as he kept on talking, you continued shaking your head, making him frustrated, "My driver's still downstairs, do you want him to drive you?"

"What? No! No!" You quickly stopped him, waving your hands, "You have a driver? Of course, you have a driver...," with a hand on your forehead, you tried to get your thoughts ordered again, "No, no... I have my car..."

Mingyu was still standing next to you, arms reaching out to you with his hands grasping the handles of your bag, "Then go," he nodded towards the door, "Come on."

"(Y/N), go," Jisoo assured her. You had thrown yourself onto the chair, now sighing, unsure of what to do. Looking up to your left, the co-CEO nodded at you with a smile, wiggling with your bag.

After another second passed with you thinking about the possible consequences, you stood up and snatched the bag out of the man's grasp, the tired expression not leaving your face.

"Go and get some rest. Don't worry about this," Mingyu pointed to the folders spread over the entirety of your desk's top. With another sigh, a nod, and a quiet "Good night," you left the office, not caring about saying goodbye to anyone else.

"What are we gonna do with that now?" Jisoo wondered, motioning towards the table once he was sure you couldn't hear them anymore.

The co-CEO shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know," and looked ahead through the glass, trying to spy into the other office that was empty and would be for the next few hours, "But I know who does."

Five folders, filled fully with paper, heavy in Mingyu's arms, got dropped onto Wonwoo's desk without a warning, startling the man who was leaning back in his chair, focused on his phone,

"What the fu-?!"

The man in front of the CEO leaned forward, resting his hand on the top of the desk, "I should be asking you that. What the fuck are you doing?!" He was enraged, Wonwoo could tell. He raised his eyebrows, letting his friend know to continue, "With (Y/N). You're trying to drown her in these?" Grabbing one heavy cardboard folder before dropping it again.

The older man crossed his arms and leaned back slightly more, "What? You're on first-name basis with her now?"

Mingyu scuffed, "Jesus Christ... Don't change the subject. What are you trying to do? Huh? Only a week into this, and you're already acting like an asshole?"

Wonwoo took a deep breath and stood up, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt, "This isn't something you should bother yourself with. Alright?"

"But I am bothering myself with it," Mingyu stood his ground, his eyes following the other man's frame, "She's the only COO of this company."

"Exactly. The only one. Obviously, she's gonna have a lot to do," the older one crossed his arms, not giving in and not planning on doing so.

The taller man rolled his eyes and sighed, clearly annoyed by his friend's attitude, "You know that's not the fucking work a COO should do. That's employee stuff. More importantly MY employees' stuff. None of this should even bother her. She's in advertising, not programming." He tried explaining the right point of view of the situation even though he could feel the passive energy coming from the CEO. They've been friends long enough - he could tell when he was talking to a wall instead of his best friend.

"Being a CEO is even more work" Wonwoo stated, "And you heard her," he pointed at Mingyu, "She wanted the title. She thought she could lead an entire company," with big steps, he continued roaming the room, "How could she ever do that if she can't even handle a bit of paperwork? A CEO has to know about E-V-E-R-Y-THING that goes on in his company-"

"So that's it?" The younger man's face held a shocked expression, "You're just trying to show her how much she doesn't deserve that title?!" He turned his face away, not wanting to look at his friend anymore, "Jeez... alright, do whatever the fuck you think is right, but just know if you continue treating our only COO like shit, I'm gonna start acting on it. You're better than that..."

"What do you think you're gonna do? She works on my floor. You go and handle your own one downstairs," Wonwoo started using his deeper threatening voice, not daring to back off.

"I'm still co-CEO," Mingyu simply answered, "And she's taking the rest of the week off." He finished before storming out of the room, with the oldest of the two cursing under his breath,

"Yeah... go and decide that for your little girlfriend..."

"Good morning, m'lady," a loud familiar voice made you look up from your phone, your eyes widening at the sight of him,

"What the hell are you doing here?" Seeing Mingyu at 9 in the morning in front of your apartment complex was definitely not something you were expecting. But there he stood. With a coffee shop paper cup in one hand, while the other was holding the door to the passenger side of a black car open. He nodded his head for you to come closer, a bright smile plastered on his face. You were still unsure of the situation, therefore squinted your eyes and took slow steps forward, which the co-CEO obviously seemed to not like,

"Hurry up, the coffee's gonna get cold."

With five quick steps, you were standing in front of him as close as comfortably possible, "Why are you here?" You truly were confused as hell. Ever since the text message from him last Tuesday, god knows where he had gotten your number from- probably Jisoo, you realised, you hadn't talked or seen him. He had told you to stay at home for the rest of the week and not even dare to come into the office, making you worried about the state of the floors, immediately thinking of the worst like a fire or... something as bad as a fire... you just weren't sure what exactly.

"Well," Mingyu started, getting a hold of your free hand and placing the coffee in it as he pushed you gently towards the car, "Our COO had a tough first two weeks, and I want to make it up to her."

"Mingyu-" you started, but he stopped you,

"No. Get in," quickly realising that it sounded slightly wrong after he noticed your facial expression changing, "Please?" You chuckled and did as you were told, earning yourself a smile from the giant puppy man as he put his hand on the rim of the hood, in case you were to bump your head and closed the door as soon as you were sitting comfortably.

"So?" You started once he had been driving for a bit, apparently not feeling the need to start a conversation.

"So?" Mingyu teasingly repeated, looking at you with big eyes and a smile on his lips.

"What is this?" Motioning all around you, still not fully understanding what he was trying to do here. He could have just answered you. He could have, yes. But he didn't want to,

"That," he pointed at the cup in your hands, "Is a hot white Mocca with two extra pumps of-"

"Mingyu," you let your stern voice out, surprising him slightly, taken aback by your sudden change in sound.

He sighed, turning right, "I told you. You had a tough first two weeks. As a COO you shouldn't have to do all of those things, that's not your job."

"And it's not your job to make up for it," you corrected him, trying to make him understand that as much as you hated him two weeks ago, you had to admit that you had been in the wrong with the type of person you thought he was.

Mingyu chuckled with a sad undertone, "What? You think Wonwoo's gonna do it?"

You scuffed loudly, letting him know about the ridiculousness of his statement, "Pfff, no! I'm not expecting anything from him. What can you expect from an asshole?" Adding the last question rhetorically.

The co-CEO sent you a shocked facial expression, "Ooh..." but started cackling once you reacted to it,

"You're gonna lecture me about my use of words too now?!"

"No," he laughed, "That's Wonwoo's thing... even though that man curses more than me probably." Making you chuckle.

After spending a few minutes in silence, looking around the car and drinking your coffee, you realised something, interrupting the quietness, "I thought you said you had a driver."

"I do," he answered quickly, attentive to every word you were saying, "Well... the company does. He's Wonwoo's and my driver. I prefer driving on my own though," he explained, turning the wheel with one hand to enter the parking garage of the office building, "BUT I have to admit... having a driver does have its perks when you're drunk or hungover."

You started giggling and nodding your head, "Of course."

Once the car came to a stop, Mingyu was quick to turn off the car, take off his seatbelt, and sprint over to the passenger side, opening the door for you while you were trying to get your bag to stay on your shoulder. You looked up, perplexed at the gesture, "You don't have to do that, you know," referring to him holding the doors open for you as well as reaching his hand out for you to get out of the seat easier. The man looked at you with scrunched eyebrows, opening the door behind your to get his briefcase from the backseat, "Wow," he sighed, "You're really not letting a man do anything nice for you."

Your mouth hung open slightly. How dare he assu- well... he wasn't wrong. Your experiences with men of all kinds hadn't been the best.

"My bad," you exaggerated your apology, not only with the tone of your voice but also by bowing, letting your head almost reach the floor, making him laugh out loud and pull you back up, getting a laugh from you as well. The sharing of your good mood was quickly interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind you. Turning around, you came to sight with one of the men you hadn't had the best experiences with,

"Morning," he greeted, more so only his friend after giving you a head nod that you reciprocated. The taller man turned to you, seeing you welcoming the CEO as well, before turning back to his friend, "Hey."

Without exchanging another word, the three of you started making your way to the elevator that would get up upstairs. Let the awkward silence begin...

Deciding you wanted to avoid it as much as possible, you started taking quick steps, overtaking both men with their long-ass legs. Mingyu noticed it and was about to catch up with you, but a hand on his arm stopped him and pulled him back,

"You're her personal driver now?" Wonwoo wondered, not expecting the two of you to show up together.

He shrugged the grip off and huffed, "Jesus, calm down. I'm trying to make better what you messed up."

"She messed it up herself," the CEO snapped back in a quiet but stern voice.

Mingyu scuffed, "Alright," rolled his eyes and caught up with you before you could enter the elevator on your own.

Ever since the elevator ride, with Mingyu alone, thank god, you had been stuck in your office room, once again, sending out work emails as well as creating new schedules for the entire company, instead of only the advertising department. The last week gave you time to think. And damn, did you use it. After the "talk" well... more of a discussion or whatever, the words from Jeon Wonwoo's lips didn't leave your mind. You weren't able to just shake them off. No, not the words that created the name of your father, but the words that let you know that with one wrong action, gesture, or statement, you could be jobless within a second. There was nothing else you could do then to get yourself together and work like you've never worked before. You still would not accept any shit thrown at you, even from the CEO, but maybe you should tone it down with... specific words you had used before... or very expressive gestures you had made. Let's see how long that would last. But you had promised yourself to try.

Well, this was your job, after all. And there was no other option than for you to just WORK. 'You don't have to like him and he doesn't have to like you,' you had told yourself, 'But you have to show him the respect he doesn't deserve and fight passively against him instead of actively. Don't let him notice what you're trying to do.' If only you were as smooth as you had thought you were.

"Miss Yoon," a voice coming from the door made you look up, finding the familiar pair of eyes of an employee you had known for a longer time, "We need you in meeting room 2." You were confused at first, but after taking a look at the clock, you realised it was already 3pm, reminding you of the meeting that was mentioned in the last email you had received Friday night.

"Oh," you shot up from your chair and quickly collected the most important papers and something to write with, "Yes, sorry."

With hasty steps, you followed him into the other room, in which other employees and Jeon Wonwoo were already waiting. No Kim Mingyu in sight whatsoever.

"I'm sorry, I'm late," you excused yourself with a bow before taking a seat in the empty chair, reserved for you, across from the CEO.

"You're forgetting about meetings," he stated. Maybe it was supposed to be a question, but it sure didn't sound like one. You rose your head up to look at him, fiddling with the pen between your fingers,

"Finding interns for your company might be a bit more important, don't you think?"

"I didn't ask you to find new interns," he kept his glance on you, clearly trying to intimidate you, but you just shrugged your shoulders, "Well." Before turning to the employee standing in front of the projected picture on the wall and sending him a kind smile, for him to begin.

Already only 2 minutes into his presentation, you noticed how big of a mistake it was to even let him start... this clearly wasn't a project idea for the advertising department, so what the hell were you doing there. Also, as for one, he had no idea what he was talking about, you, thanks to the files you had had to put in an order and summarize, knew more about what he was trying to explain, and two, you hadn't ever seen him before. You sighed, lowered your head, and started writing down all the things you noticed about not only his idea per se but also about him as a presenter - like his posture, his way of speech, mimics, gestures, etc.

As much as you tried to focus on him, you couldn't. You really couldn't. Which made you start thinking about one of the ideas you had had a few months back but never got to present, thanks to the CEO that your father was.

Wonwoo looked up at the sound of a heavy breath falling from your lips, but his eyes quickly drifted down to what you were scribbling, being able to make out some sketches as well as words. He had noticed you hadn't been giving much attention to the presenter, and was about to speak up, but decided against it once he saw you working on your own idea, most definitely for your department rather than the app development one, like the man in front of you.

The presentation wasn't good. It wasn't even close. He didn't know who that guy was, probably someone from advertising he had never crossed paths with in the office, who wanted to give programming a go. But for somebody working in that department, he was worst than anyone from the web design floor down below would be, in presenting the same idea even though they also have almost no knowledge in it.

He didn't even try to focus, already knowing he wouldn’t do so anyways, therefore letting his eyes not leave your paper, covered in scribbles and drawings of black ink. Whatever you were thinking about could only be better than what everyone else in the room had to listen to. That was for sure.

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

Taglist: @nctxtrash @leicy0756 @hoe4wonwoo @whiteprincessofnohr @nothingbutadeadesceane

#wonwoo series #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo #imagines #scenarios #seventeen #seventeen series #kpop #masterlist #amour haine & co.#enemies to lovers #seventeen e2l #e2l #ceo!wonwoo #ceo!wonwoo imagines #ceo!au #ceo au #seventeen au

268 notes · View notes

ijustwant2write · 4 years ago

Text

Always Mine-John Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @tommyshhelby)

Requested by anonymous: ‘Can you please do a imagine where y/n and John were childhood sweethearts (no Martha) and she has known the peaky blinders her whole life and they love her too but then John has to marry esme and even though tommy does feel bad he does it anyway.Y/n works in the betting house so they see eachother every day she acts like it doesn’t bother her but is obviously a bit distant with John who is still inlove with her but she is respectful of the marriage so when Michael comes in he has a crush on y/n and kinda flirts with her and John gets jealous not sure if it’s a John or Micheal imagine your choice’

Characters: John Shelby x Reader, Thomas Shelby x Reader (platonic), Michael Gray x Reader (platonic), Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name (Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Heartbreak, swearing, mentions/intentions of sex, arguing, violence, slight fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Heartbreak, many people went through it, many people wanted to avoid it. Although your heart wasn’t physically damaged, it felt like it was. Humans often forget how strong their emotions are. Emotions are part of our survival, they determine how we live, it controls our day, what decisions we make. Unfortunately to live, we had to experience sadness. You could turn it around and say that the bad times made the good times stronger, more enjoyable. But it’s hard to think positively when you’re stuck in a terrible situation.

“He....He’s getting married?” I whispered out, clutching onto my dressing gown as the cold air blew into the house.

Tommy was stood outside, I had invited him inside, but I was glad I hadn’t now.“Today/ I’m sorry (Y/N), it has to be done.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“John doesn’t know. And you can’t tell him.”

“Why are you telling me this? I could easily run to him now and tell him.”

“If you do that, you’ll put us all in danger.”

I was growing more angry by the second.“Aren’t you always in danger?”

“This is different. It will benefit the whole family, the Peaky Blinders. He has to do this (Y/N).”

I shook my head at him, crossing my arms over my chest. What with it being so early in the morning, no one else was out in the street, it was slightly dark, with a low fog roaming the streets.“You know I love him. You know how we feel about each other. I’m just confused. Why would you tell me this before they get married? I could go tell him, we could run away together like we said we would since we were fifteen.”

“Because I love you (Y/N). You’re basically family. It felt wrong not to. But I can’t lose you at work either. You need to stay.”

I scoffed.“I can’t believe this! You really think I’m going to stay and see the man I love everyday with a wedding ring on his finger? I can write up my resignation now if you want-”

“(Y/N)-”

“Honestly Tommy, this is taking the piss. You get away with a lot of shit, but this is just fantastic-”

“(Y/N)!”

“Wait here, I’ll get a pen and some paper-”

“(Y/N) would you just listen for a second!?” he yelled, silencing me.“You would be as equally angry with me if I told you after. Just be happy that I mentioned it at all.”

That had been the longest day of my life. Knowing that my worst fear had come true, the man I loved was marrying someone else, made time move at an incredibly slow pace. Part of me pondered crashing the wedding, if I knew where it was or who he was marrying, but I knew that Tommy was partly right. He had a huge responsibility to keep control of his power, but the way he manipulated his family infuriated me.

“John, are you sure you want to marry me?” I said to him as we laid down in a field.

“You’re really asking that after what we just did?” he asked, doing up his trousers.

“Well, Susanne and Jack do the same as us, and he hasn’t asked her.” my (not so) innocent seventeen year old self pointed out.

“Believe me, I would not be suggesting that sort of thing if I didn’t mean it.”

“So you don’t ask every girl you fuck to marry you?” I teased.

He leaned over me.“I haven’t slept with that many.”

I rolled my eyes.“I don’t care how many girls you fucked before me. As long as I’m the one who gets this sort of treatment for the rest of your life, I’m happy.”

He smirked, kissing me.“You’ve been the best out of all of them.”

“Because I do anything you want.”

He leaned down to my ear, whispering,“Because you feel fucking amazing.”

I blushed, wishing I was able to tease him more.“I’m serious John, that’s a serious commitment.”

Although we were being flirty, I knew when he was being truthful.“(Y/N), I don’t want anything else. I want you beside me. My family loves you, you’re already a Shelby in their eyes, and mine. I know they say we’re young, but these feelings I have for you re strong. I wake up thinking about you, I see other women and think, my (Y/N) is so much prettier than you. And yes, thinking about you writhing and moaning beneath me is pleasurable,” I playfully punched his shoulder, which he laughed at,“but imagining you at home with the kids, waiting for me to come back and embracing me as soon as I step foot in our house, that’s all I could ever ask for in life.”

I sobbed as I thought about that memory. We were so happy back then. We were carefree, easily daydreaming about what could have been. Then harsh reality hit us in the face. He was being forced into an arrangement with some wild gypsy girl. We were supposed to be married, I was the one whose last name should have been Shelby.

I didn’t want to hear about the wedding day. I knew that Pol, Ada or any other woman in that betting shop wouldn’t mention it in front of me.Though how was I ever to stop thinking about how the man I loved was married to someone else when I worked with him? And his new wife? Esme also had no say in this, she had been unruly and apparently the only way to sort that was to marry her off. But why did she have to work here too? She hated it here, she could never sit still. It was in her nature to be outside all the time, to run free and wildly along with the horses. Not cramped up in a betting shop counting money, surrounded by the lowest of men. Having to sit across from her as I worked was torture, seeing the wedding band made my stomach turn.

"(Y/N)?" John called me, standing in the doorway of his office.

I caught Esme glancing towards me, though I didn't care. It wasn't as if anything was about to happen, John hadn't even spoken to me since they married, not properly anyway. I had been civil towards his wife, but only speaking to her when I absolutely had to. Quietly sighing, I closed the book I had been writing in, picking up a smaller notebook and pen before entering his office. Some workers were peeking at us, they knew the drama, and it didn't help that his office was basically made of windows, meaning everyone could see us.

"You can sit down, you know you can." John gestured to the chair across from his desk, though he didn't sit.

I said nothing back.He groaned.

"Come on (Y/N), you know I hated when you gave me the silent treatment."

"Is there something you needed from me Mr Shelby?"

"You know, that only sounded nice coming from you when we were in a different environment." he smirked, thinking I would break. He was absolutely wrong.

"I have a lot of work to be getting on with-"

"I don't love her."

My eyes widened, and I kept my voice low."For fucks sake John, we shouldn't be talking about this here."

"You know I don't!" he stood in front of me, but I quickly backed away, not wanting to draw attention to ourselves."She's some random gypsy Tommy picked up on the side of the road. Esme isn't you."

"And yet you're stuck with her. So let bygones be bygones. Did you actually need me?"

"I always need you, and I will always want you."

"Right, thank you for wasting my time sir."

I promptly left, feeling my throat get tight as I pushed back my tears. If I spoke another word, my voice would crack, giving away how I truly felt. Instead of returning to where I was originally sat, I headed to the kitchen, not wanting to see Esme. It was obvious her gaze was on me as I brushed past, though I took no notice. Once there, I made myself busy filling the kettle with water and beginning to make tea, just to distract myself. As it boiled, I gripped onto the edge of the counter, painfully holding back my sobs. I couldn’t do this for the rest of my life, it was emotionally exhausting, it was torturous.

“You can’t keep up this act forever.” Polly appeared.

I didn’t bother facing her.“I know. I already told Tom I would hand him my resignation letter, he refused.”

“No, we can’t lose you, even if we had enough staff. I want you to know that I had nothing to do with that. You know what Tommy is like with his ‘big ideas’.”

I finally looked at her.“My worst fear came true. He’s with someone else. He’s married, but not to me. It’s been in our heads for so long, it was all too good to be true.”

Before Polly could speak, I saw her glance behind me. Turning around, I saw Esme standing in the doorway, her usual scowl on her face as she grabbed a mug from a cupboard.

“I’m assuming you brewed a full pot?” she asked.

“Yes.” I replied.

She put her mug beside mine, making sure it thudded against the counter. When she left, I ran my hands down my face, seriously considering walking out. Polly decided to not add anything. We would just go in circles, trying to cheer me up, reassure me, convince me to stay etc.

Managing to get through the rest of the day, I sighed in relief and tiredness as everyone started to pack their things. Putting on my coat, I smiled at one my colleagues who was approaching me.

“John has asked for you.” they warily said.

I rolled my eyes.“Did he say what he wants?”

He shook his head.“Sorry, wants you in there soon as.”

I thanked him as he left, along with everyone else. Esme held back, obviously glaring at me. She disappeared into John’s office for less than a minute before walking out again, leaving without her husband. I watched the door shut, leaving just John and I. My stomach twisted, heart beating incredibly loudly in my ears as I took my first few steps to his office. I stood in the doorway, hating that he was already looking at me, I was incredibly nervous.

He stood from his chair.“(Y/N)-”

“Please tell me this is about work.”

“I need to speak to you.”

“John, I can’t do this. We’re finished now-”

I started to walk away, not surprised when he followed, but shocked when he grabbed me, turning me around to face him.

“I know you feel the same as me. I can’t fucking stand it! I don’t want to be married to her. I don’t want to fuck her in our bed. I’ve only ever imagined coming home to see you there, not her!”

“Well that won’t happen now, will it?!” I snapped back, trying to make him let go of my arms.

As I struggled, John was able to keep a grasp on me.“It can! We’ll figure out a way! But I need to kiss you. I need to be able to hold you in my arms, to really feel you. I want to keep planning our future together.”

“Tommy has made his decision, and with this family, anything he says goes! You really think we could change any of this? Even if we did, imagine the trouble you would all be in.”

“I don’t care. I would take ten bullets to the chest if it meant being with you.”

“You can’t be saying things like that.”

His eyes were crazy, staring into my soul, fingers pressing into my skin. I felt him pull me closer, it was ever so slow, and I could have stopped it. But I didn’t. We cautiously leaned in for a kiss, making memories and feelings flood back. His hands relaxed, moving up to cup my face. The passion didn’t last long, because before I knew it, I was being pushed back against a desk, clumsily lying on my back. John wasted no time to touch my breasts, continuing to kiss me as it slid down my body, disappearing up my skirt. Although it was extremely tempting to carry on, the weighing guilt made me stop him.

“John.” I breathed out, giving him the wrong idea as he kept going, sucking on my neck. I pushed against him.“John, stop.”

He pulled away.“What? What’s wrong?” he went straight back down to my neck, trying to unbutton my blouse.

“Stop!” I said a little louder, managing to sit up and push him away.

“(Y/N), I know it’s been a while but-”

“It’s not that, you idiot! You’re married!”

“To a woman I don’t love!”

I let out a frustrated scream, buttoning up my blouse again as I stood.“I’m not going to be that woman sleeping with married men, I’m not a whore!”

“Why are you denying your feelings? We were supposed to get married.”

“We were kids back then.”

He pointed an accusing finger at me.“I said that to you every year, we were always waiting for the right time!”

“Life doesn’t always work out John!” I yelled.“This is just as agonising to me as it is to you! But if we ruin this, the Lee’s are going to come for you all, and there’s already enough on your plates to deal with them.”

“I don’t give a fuck about them-”

“But I give a fuck about you living!” I snatched up my coat and handbag, pushing past him towards the door. With my hand on the handle, I calmed down before speaking again.“Obviously we weren’t meant to be. Though at least we didn’t take our time together for granted. Don’t try any of that again John, I mean it.”

For the next week, I didn’t utter a word to John, I didn’t even glance in his direction. I considered sending in my resignation. But after thinking about it, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to do it. These people were my family, I grew up in this business. If I left, I had a slim chance of finding a normal job, because everyone knew who I was associated with. Why would anyone risk taking on someone who was involved with the Peaky Blinders? I was paid more than I should have been for my position, and they trusted me with anything; it would be stupid of me to throw that away and lose everything I worked so hard for.

Surprisingly, Esme hadn’t piped up towards me in that time. I thought she might say something, even if she wasn’t triggered, due to her fiery personality. However, John had been relentless with his attempts to make me speak to him, even trying to trap me in the vault with him. I couldn’t break, I couldn’t let him get to me again. As much as my heart ached for him, as much as I wanted him to grab my face and kiss me again, I would never break a marriage. The guilt that would live with me fr the rest of my life was too much to bear.

At the beginning of another day, I had just breezed into the shop when Lizzie approached me.“(Y/N), Tommy wants to see you.”

I sighed.“Did he say why?”

She shook her head.“You know what he’s like. But he’s asking for you now.”

I didn’t bother taking off my coat or setting my bag down, following Lizzie to his office. She knocked before opening the door, letting me walk in before closing it behind me, and I was left with Tommy, who was hunched over his desk as he looked through papers; however, there was also another man, a younger man.

“Come in (Y/N), let me introduce you to someone.” Tommy stood, setting the papers aside.

My steps were slower than they usually would be as I analysed the stranger. He looked younger than me, but not by that many years. His hat was in his hands, and although he wore a suit, it wasn’t like the ones the Shelby boys wore. His hair was slightly curly, not slicked back or short like most men around Small Heath, and he seemed shy, maybe more reclusive.

“I’m Michael.” he offered his hand out which I shook.

“I’m (Y/N).” I politely smiled.

“(Y/N) is basically family and has worked with us from the beginning.” Tommy explained.“This boy here, (Y/N), is Polly’s son.”

My eyes widened at Tommy as I let go of Michael’s hand.“Wait, you mean...the children she was always talking about...?”

“I’ve come back to find out about my real family. And to start working here too.” Michael added.

“So I need you to keep a close eye on him, help him with whatever he needs. (Y/N) knows the ins and outs of this place, she’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

For the rest of the day, Michael shadowed one of the workers that dealt with the winnings, counting money and figuring out how to run the shop floor. I would occasionally pop up when I thought he needed someone kinder and quiet to help, or just to check on him. He was sweet, but that wouldn’t help him in this environment. Luckily, Michael made it hard for John to bother me, he didn’t have the usual opportunities to bombard me with questions about why I didn’t want to fight for what we had. My shift finished quickly, it seemed like I had only been there an hour and we were already leaving.

“Come on Michael, let me take you for a drink. You deserve it after today.” I offered as we walked out of the shop.

He was hesitant before smiling.“Alright then. Where should we go?”

“We’ll go to the Garrison, your cousins are basically royalty there, meaning we are too. And don’t worry about your mum, she would rather you be with me than with the boys.”

Happily greeting Harry as we walked into the pub, he nudged the other bartender to get my usual drink. After asking Michael what he wanted, I called it out to Harry before disappearing into the private room.

“We’re allowed in here?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Like Tommy said, I’m family.” the window opened, a bartender passing us our drinks.“So, how did you end up in a place like this?”

We indulged in a conversation about Michael’s life growing up. It wasn’t a good upbringing, he had been through a lot of hardships as a child, and now being thrown into a completely different life was only adding to the confusion he had growing up, but he wanted to be independent. Get away from the boring country and work in an interesting job.

Michael glanced down at his drink, seeming hesitant to speak.“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is there something between you and John? I thought he was married to Esme.”

I scoffed.“He is. Seems to keep forgetting that.”

“Sorry, I shouldn't have asked-”

“It’s fine. You’re family, you should know what’s going on. We...wow, I’ve never actually spoken about this. John and I developed feelings for each other as we grew up, we became a couple. We always said we would get married, anyone could see we were deeply in love. However, Tommy arranged a marriage between John and Esme, it was to form a truce between the Shelby’s and the Lee family, Esme’s family.”

“That’s horrible. Tommy still did that even though he knew you two were together?”

“Yep.” I downed the rest of my drink.“Welcome to the family business.”

“I understand the need for a truce but...”

“I know what you’re thinking. Although it was heartbreaking, I know nothing can be done about it. And I am not a home wrecker!”

He was shocked by my snappy tone.“I-I didn’t say you were.”

“I know, force of habit.”

The door opened, the Shelby brothers walking in, and only three of them smiled at us, it was obvious who didn’t. They greeted us as they sat, the window opening instantly with their drinks on the tray. Michael and I were still tense from our talk, though tried not to show it as Arthur began rambling on about something stupid Finn had done that day. I tried my hardest to listen, though it was hard to when I could feel John’s eyes on me, and he was angry. Everyone else could tell as well, but they didn’t want to deal with John’s attitude right now. After Arthur finished his story, I excused myself to the ladies room, needing to relax. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even go to the loo without any disruption.

“Why the fuck are you here with him?” John demanded to know as he followed me in.

“John! You can’t be in here!” I snapped.

“There’s no other women here yet! Answer me.”

“He’s a new colleague, someone Tommy told me to look after today. Not to mention he’s your cousin. I was being nice to him.”

“You say you still love me yet here you are with another man.” the rage in his eyes was growing more intense by the second.

“Oh for fucks sake John.” I rolled my eyes.“Why on Earth why I be so stupid to move on with another Shelby?”

“The fuck are you saying?”

“I’ve been battling with myself whether to leave this job because of you! It was terrible enough to be in the same room as you and your wife, but trying to avoid you all day is exhausting. You have to stop trying to make us work.”

His breathing was getting faster, and he hastily grabbed my hands.“But why can’t we just hide it? Maybe after a while I’ll be able to divorce her.”

“I can’t sit around and wait for you! I’ll always love you John, but you can’t expect me to not go on living my life whilst I wait for something that may never happen. And you’re telling me that in that time, you won’t have sex with her, you won’t give her the children she wants? Because I’m not fucking you behind her back.”

He groaned, pulling away from me and turning around, suddenly hitting a stall door, causing me to flinch at the movement and sound. Instinctively, I started backing away, scared that he might flip and accidentally hurt me in his rage.

“It’s not fucking fair!” he yelled.

“John, calm down!” I said, trying not to shout back, needing him to be calm.

“Why was I the one that had to get married?! Why wasn’t it Arthur or even Finn? They know we’re in love! I wanted you to be my fucking wife! And now you’re not even fighting for us!”

I scowled at him, screaming just as loud at him now.“How dare you?! John, there is nothing to fight for anymore! Yes, we still love each other, and I would give anything to be with you again! I would kill for you, you know that. But we need to move on from this. I’m staying at work for now, just until I’ve got enough to move somewhere else, and then I’m gone. I’m not staying where I got my heart broken.”

“You can’t leave.”

“I will. This feels like someone is punishing me for something terrible that I’ve done, but for the life of me I can not think what that could be. I’m done with this John. I don’t want to wake up every morning dreading to go to the shop, being distracted from my work because I’m dreading that you’ll corner me and we’ll get caught doing something we shouldn’t be. I feel like I’ve aged since the day you married, just from the stress.”

“(Y/N), please, just give it more time, we can work something out-”

“No! John just shut the fuck up and listen to what I’m saying! Leave me alone, leave what we had in the past. You’re married now, and I don’t want to have an affair, not just because of the Lee’s but because of the moral of it all. I...I just need to go home.”

“You’re not leaving-”

He grabbed my arm forcefully, and in defence I slapped him around the face. He recoiled his hand as he went into shock, giving me a chance to escape. However, he kept calling my name as I rushed off, seeing the boys standing at the bar, obviously having heard everything. I pushed past them, bursting into the private room to grab my things before leaving the pub. The others were also telling me to come back, wondering what was wrong.

“Don’t follow me! Leave me alone!” I screeched before turning away from them.

I felt light headed as I stormed home. There was so much to take in, too much had been said in such a short amount of time. Though I knew I had spoken my truth, even if it was the hardest thing I had ever admitted. John and I couldn’t be. Perhaps it was never meant to happen, and we needed to grow up, move on from our childhood dreams of us being together. I couldn’t dwell on it, I was right when I said I couldn’t put my life on pause to wait for him, which I knew would never happen. Until I knew what I could do to move on and away from everyone, I hoped that our argument had sent a message to John, and I wouldn’t have to suffer as much as I had been. Not for much longer, I am going to be happy.

#john shelby #john shelby imagine #john shelby imagines #john shelby one shot #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders bbc #bbc peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders one shot #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fan fic #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders fan fiction

777 notes · View notes

thessalian · 2 years ago

Text

Thess vs Working From Home, Or Not

I am going to preface this entire thing with the following: I have zero issue with the strike action the public transport workers are taking. Is it annoying? Yes. However, I get it. I don’t want to see ticket offices entirely phased out or dozens of bus lines shut down, as much for the people who need those services as for the transport staff who will end up out of work as a result of these ‘cost-cutting measures’. So if I sound like I’m bitching about anything, it’s not about that.

No, I’m bitching about the office right now.

Look, very few of us actually work nearby to the hospital at which we work. We pretty much all require some element of public transport to get to our jobs. And on Friday, there’s going to be a Tube strike and a strike of one of the bus companies that services London. So while the buses I would generally take to get to work will be technically operational, they will be crowded as fuck because everyone will be taking the bus instead of the Tube and that’s a very solid NO THANK YOU from me. Goblin relies on both Tube and train to get to work, and the trains are on strike on Thursday, so she’s not in Thursday or Friday. Temp is one of the few people in the office who can actually get to the office with little more than having to navigate traffic, because she can drive the whole way (though that only because the hospital’s offering free parking on that day).

Now, we’ve known about this strike for weeks. When I was pretty sure it was going ahead - as in, about three weeks ago - I booked Friday off. That annual leave request was approved at the beginning of last week. Same with Goblin’s requests for annual leave on Thursday and Friday because it’s better than taking unpaid leave because of a public transport strike.

And today I got an email from Scruffman - the one who approved my annual leave request, by the way - asking about whether I’d be able to get into work on the strike days. My response was a slightly more polite version of “I should be fine on Thursday but I booked Friday off because it was going to be an issue, and you approved that a little over a week ago”.

Why the living hell didn’t he check our schedules for those days to see if we’d made arrangements in that regard before he sent emails that were basically like, “We want to be able to still provide service so I need to know if there’s any possible way for you to be in”. I don’t know for sure that it was supposed to be a guilt trip but it read like a guilt trip.

Well. If I was less of a polite person, I would not be crafting a carefully-worded email about the current situation and how it relates to other matters in the office. If I was less of a polite person, I would be emailing Head Honcho with a CC to Scruffman saying, “Further to our issues with attendance owing to strike action, we all know full well that the strikes aren’t going to stop any time soon because this government - or at least its appointed representative for this kind of thing - refuses to even attend talks to try to sort things out. This government just ignores it and hopes it’ll go away. Well, it’s not going to go away and we’re going to be in this position many, many more times over the next few months. You’ve already lost one staffer because of your refusal to expedite our ability to work from home (I know I’m not supposed to know that but I do know that), and now you’re losing more productivity days because we can neither work from home nor get to the office. We already have the hardware, as witness the laptops gathering dust on the table next to the stationery cupboard. We’ve already fully migrated to the new system that was your excuse last time someone asked about this. The consultants have been able to work from home for something to the order of two years now. You can avoid this kind of mess in the future by expediting the work from home set-up you’ve been promising your secretaries would happen at the beginning of this year. So if you could move on that - and also maybe speed up the hiring of new staff to replace the staffer that left, even if it involves getting in someone from a temp agency, because we are floundering right now - that’d be easier on all of us. If nothing else, Occupational Health recommended this for me, and they certainly did not recommend me having to push twice as hard to make up for one ragequit and a staffer who still leaves me with all the long energy-intensive typing the second she feels she can get away with it.”

However, I am generally a polite person, or I try to be, so I’m going to wait until I’m not tired and hacked off with everything before I even try to put that into proper office-speak. But this is why I’m having a supremely shitty day.

#Thess has a day job

5 notes · View notes

whats-wild-to-you · 3 years ago

Text

ALL IN (Jay Park fiction)

[Chapter 1]

Back To The Roots

Min Ah

It's been a month since I moved to Korea. Everything was foreign, the food inedible and my social life practically nonexistent. It was work - sleep, work - sleep. Every day.

"I hate it here!" I spat into the phone, chewing on my last bite of toast, washing it down with some coffee.

My sister on the other end chuckled. "You'll get used to it."

"There's nothing I wanna get used to here, Ji Hyun!"

"It'll get better", she doubled down which infuriated me even more.

"You're not helping!"

"What do you want me to say? Pack your bags and come home?"

The thought had crossed my mind. Several times, actually. But I wasn't a quitter. Ji Hyun knew that too.

"You know I can't do that!"

"Then give it time! It'll get better, I promise."

With a heavy sigh I agreed before hanging up. Peeking at the clock, I knew I had exactly 30 minutes left to get to work and I was almost certain I would end up being late. Again. Not that anyone cared if I was late. Half the staff didn't even know I existed and the other half thought my name was Hye Jin."

When I exited the elevator and walked the corridor down towards my office, there was someone who stood in front of the locked door.

"Can I help you?"

"Are you Ms. Song?"

"Yes..?"

"Well, first of all, you're late. We need to talk."

I apologized, unlocking the door and allowing the older male to go in first. "Please, sit."

"You don't know who I am, do you?"

Again, it was my turn to apologize. "I've only been here for a month. There are so many people employed here, I'm afraid it'll take me some time to learn all of the names."

"Don't bother! The only people you need to know by name are the CEO and myself. I'm Lee Chang Wook."

"Nice to finally meet you." I had actually heard a lot about this man. He was a living legend around here.

"I've heard a lot about you, Ms. Song."

"Umm.."

"You were a hotshot lawyer in Los Angeles, your clientele consisted of movie stars and your monthly salary was six figures, I believe. You were regularly invited to the most exclusive parties in Hollywood, too. So why are you here, doing subpar work?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I mean, there must be a reason why you left that glamorous life behind."

"Not really, I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"So, there's no one after you?"

"Not that I know." I said, unable to stifle a laugh.

"Then I have an offer for you. One of our high profile clients requested an additional lawyer and I recommended you."

"High profile, you say?"

"The firm recently started working with him. I can't disclose any details if you don't accept first."

I leaned back in my seat. High profile usually meant more work. And more money, too.

But what if it was some crooked politician?

"Can I answer you tomorrow?"

"Of course. Come find me in my office. And Ms. Song?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be late again."

"I won't, Mr. Lee."

The day flew by fast and by 7pm I put all files away, grabbed my bag and left the office. Like every day, I stopped at the same restaurant on my way home and took dinner to go. It was usually a noodle dish of some sort.

Back at home, I switched from office attire to comfy home wear and had dinner in front of the tv. I was bored out of my mind but didn't have the guts to get dolled up and go out for dinner and drinks alone. After all, I knew no one in Seoul. I had to admit, all co-workers were nice and polite but no one ever asked me to join them on their daily after-work outings.

"So? What do you say? Should I accept?"

"I mean, why not?"

"I don't know who that client is though."

"Is that a problem?"

"No. Not really."

"Then do it! Say yes!"

"Hmm. I'll probably accept, yes."

I yawned audibly into the phone, which made Ji Hyun laugh.

"You're getting old! What time is it over there, anyway? It's only 10pm, isn't it?"

"Walking around Seoul all day is exhausting!"

"Might wanna consider buying a car."

"Hmmm."

"Alright. Good night sis. And keep me posted on the mystery client."

"Will do. Love you. Good night."

#h1ghrmusic #h1ghrgang #jay park #jay park scenario #jay park aomg #aomg imagines #aomg jay park #park jaybum #jay park imagines #jay park scenarios #jay park fanfic #jay park imagine #aomg scenarios #park jaebum

8 notes · View notes

jokertrap-ran · 3 years ago

Photo

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Main Story Chapter 3-1: 海水与火焰 Seawater & Flames Translation

“The flames of the sunset flicker within your orbs; and the leaves flutter, falling upon the water surface that is your soul.”

*Light and Night Master-list *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *CG Image used with permission from 蓝咕咕 ☆ *Main story tag will be #For Light and Night

Brother Mao: It's soooo god-damned hot out today! A new coffee shop opened down the east street with huge grand opening sales. Come on, come on, everyone grab your share!

Brother Mao had just returned to the office after completing his out of office assignment. He didn't even have a minute to spare to put the bag of goodies down, only wiping his sweat before giving said goodies out to everyone.

MC: Thank you, Brother Mao!

Brother Mao waved his hand in dismissal and threw the neatly folded plastic bag into the bin, only for his eyes to suddenly stop on the handle of the door. He incredulously widened his eyes.

Brother Mao: Since when did our door handle get all fixed up?

Li Man'man: No idea. It was already fixed when I came in in the morning.

Hao Shuai: Sister Zheng Lin, did you nag at the administrative department for this?

Zheng Lin: She fixed it. I saw her fiddling around with it when I clocked in this morning.

Zheng Lin retrieved her documents from the photocopier and jerked her chin at me.

Brother Mao: So this is our beloved heroine of the day! Do humbly pardon me!

MC: I'm the one who broke it after all. Plus, it didn't take that long to fix anyway.

Brother Mao poked his head in front of me, curiously twirling the sleeve of the formal dress I was currently fixing up and doing corrections on.

Brother Mao: You're changing it up that much again? You don't have to reply to me, but you're adding these butterflies? That's real creative! ...And they're all made of twisted metal wire?

MC: Yeah. I started out using soft tulle mesh, but it was all droopy and didn't seem very nice for wings that are supposed to look powerful and lively.

Brother Mao: Now not only does this give it a dynamic feel, but also brings about a romantic yet cruel one!

Brother Mao: Not bad, not bad! Keep at it, and you'll definitely be able to finish fixing it up before next week!

MC: But the Deadline got brought forward… She's going to be doing the fitting tomorrow morning, so I have to finish it by today...

Brother Mao: No way! Don't tell me it's that agent again...

He glanced around, checking that no one had their attention turned to us, before leaning down to my ear.

Brother Mao: I asked around about it earlier, and I heard that the agent has a pretty foul temper.

Brother Mao: Not just to the staff, but her daughter as well. She'll start scolding people at the drop of a hat, even if they did nothing!

It felt as if I could hear the piercing and horrid lashing from that day resounding in my ears again. Her words had been ingrained into my very brain like a needle stuck into a pincushion.

Brother Mao: Geez, Lin Yao's such a brilliant kid. What's there for her to be so unhappy about?

Brother Mao: My mom always told me not to blame myself, and that health always comes first, whenever I fail the promotion. She even said that if I couldn't make it big, then I could just go back home and she'd raise me.

MC: I don't know either. Maybe all these feelings we take for granted come on a conditional basis for her, I guess.

He'd stared at the table and spaced out for a long while. It was almost as if he'd retreated into his memory palace as his expression turned a little sad.

Brother Mao: I'll help you twist them into shape too. Just treat it as my way of thanking her for helping us get out of the pickle we found ourselves in that day.

MC: Okay.

Time passed silently, and it wasn't till nightfall that we finished our work. The office had already cleared out a long time ago, and sporadic stars glimmered in the ink-blue sky up above.

Brother Mao: Done!

I nodded at him in gratitude and kept the now completed dress away. That was when a message notification popped up onto my phone screen.

Housing Agent: Miss (Y/n), don't forget that we're supposed to sign the agreement today at 8 PM. Be there or be square!

Brother Mao: What's wrong?

MC: I'm supposed to go check out the new apartment I'm getting with my agent at 8 PM today, and sign the agreement if all goes well.

And the time displayed on my phone right now was… 7:28 PM.

MC: I should run! Thanks for today, Brother Mao! I'll treat you to food next time!

Grabbing my bag and my work ID, I made a mad dash downstairs.

❖☆———————————★❖

I thought that I'd make it there right on the dot if I'd left now, but who knew that the taxi-hailing app had 80+ people waiting in line! Seeing as how the app wasn't an option anymore, all I could do was to run to the nearest taxi stand.

MC: Why's it not here yet…?

I paced back and forth at the stand, but no taxi ever made an appearance. Just as my anxiousness was about to reach a tipping point, a black sports car drew to a stop before me. The car's windscreen slowly rolled down.

MC: ...Evan?

Evan: Waiting for a ride? Headed somewhere?

MC: Yeah. I'm going to take a look at an apartment. The place I'm renting right now is too far from here, so it isn't terribly convenient.

Evan: Location?

MC: Guangqi-Century City.

He slightly inclined his head, glancing at his watch before getting out of his car and opening the door to the passenger seat for me.

Evan: Get on. I'll send you there.

★Night Choice: Turn him down

MC: No need. I'd be causing you too much trouble.

Evan leaned his arm atop the door of the car, beaming as he looked at me.

Evan: Not at all.

Evan: Besides, I don't have anything on tonight. On the other hand, you seem like you're in quite the rush.

Evan: It'll be bad if you end up late for it because you dawdled here.

His eyes were filled with such sincerity that it made me feel like I'd be doing him a disservice if I refused.

I eventually nodded, seeing as there was no way I could shimmy myself out of this without feeling bad about it.

MC: Thanks.

☆Light Choice: Accept his offer

I glanced back at the taxi stand. It didn't seem like a taxi was coming anytime soon. And I'd really be late if I didn't get a suitable ride soon…

MC: Thanks. Don't mind if I do then.

8 PM, right on the dot. We reached the entrance of the housing estate where the agent was already waiting.

MC: Here it is. Thank you for this! I'll treat you to a meal someday!

Evan: Sure.

❖☆———————————★❖

I hurriedly got out of the car as the two agents quickly rushed up to me upon seeing me.

Agent A: You have a good eye, Miss! This apartment's a hot favourite! 10 over people booked slots to come check it out the moment the listing went up!

Agent B: We've kept this apartment for you till now since you seemed especially keen on it!

Agent A: Let's get the contract agreement signed tonight if there are no problems lest it keeps you up at night!

MC: Sorry, but I'll still have to confirm with you again later. Let's go check the house out first.

Both agents sidled up side by side, enthusiastically explaining and introducing things to me on either side as they urged me forwards.

Thud.

The sound of a door closing behind me made me turn, only to see that Evan hadn't left, and had gotten out of his car.

MC: ?

Evan: I'll go with you.

The agents continued their endless stream of marketing chatter as they pointed out every selling point of the apartment.

Agent A: —And that's all from us. If you sign the agreement contract today, then we can persuade the landlord to give us a little discount...

MC: Okay, then I'll-

Evan: Sorry, but we'll think it through a little more. Could you recommend us some other apartments as well? Sorry about that.

I looked at him in surprise, but he gently shook his head. Hence, I calmed my initial excitement down and turned down their request to have the contract immediately signed.

❖☆———————————★❖

The night was already deep into the throes of darkness by the time we returned to the car park.

The riverbank was coloured with streams of yellow light from the streetlamps above in picturesque disorder. I could smell the refreshing scent of blooming greenery that hung in the air.

MC: Was something wrong with the apartment earlier?

Evan: I don't think you'd like to stay in an apartment filled with construction noises, yes?

MC: But I didn't hear anyone renovating anything?

It was only after the words left my mouth that I realized something.

MC: Oh, right. It's nighttime right now, so all the construction workers should be off work by now… Still, how did you know?

Evan: I noticed that there were paint stains at the edge of the neighbouring apartment's door frame upon entering, and it looked rather fresh too.

Evan: Plus, that housing estate was built 10 years ago, yet the elevator has its interiors boarded up with temporary protective boards.

Evan: So, I'd garner that the neighbouring apartment's most likely, not the only one undergoing renovation recently.

MC: I'd never have realized if you didn't point it out…

Evan: And adding on to that, I observed the surroundings a bit when we entered the housing estate and the security personnel stationed nearby seemed rather sparsely spread.

Evan: So it wouldn't be too safe for you to be staying here alone.

MC: Yeah…

Evan continued talking about the pros and cons of the apartment as the enchanting lights from above reflected in his eyes, melding into the smile that wavered within.

MC: You're so knowledgeable when it comes to this. Did you rent an apartment before?

Although, for someone with his family background, he shouldn’t ever need to rent an apartment on his own.

However, Evan nodded, affirming my suspicions.

Evan: I’ve rented a couple of places for my company back when I was in university.

MC: You mean, the company you founded back when you were studying in Lordton?

Evan: You know of it?

MC: I’ve heard of it before! It’s truly a legendary tale!

Evan: Looks like I’ll have to personally clear up the rumours for you then. It wasn’t exactly a smooth experience.

Evan: I, too, encountered a great many difficulties that I hadn’t thought of before during my first time renting an office.

Evan: For example, unreliable agents. The relevant renting procedures never came to pass for a long time due to that.

Evan: Hence, the office wasn’t ready even if all the employees were already in place.

Evan: And another example would be poor property management, with robberies aplenty as a result.

Evan: Also, I had no choice but to take drastic action and relocate the entire office to a new location since I hadn’t initially considered office expansion.

MC: Wow, I never knew that starting a business would be so hard. You’re amazing to have done it!

❖☆———————————★❖

Suddenly, my phone vibrated.

[Guangqi Rental] Whole apartment for lease. Felin Avenue, 199 Street. 1 bedroom and 1 living room. [Guangqi Rental] Whole apartment for lease. Changle Heights. 1 bedroom and 1 living room.

It was the agent, recommending me a couple more apartments.

[Guangqi Rental] How about any of these?

MC: Now that's way too many…

Evan: You can forward them to me if you don't mind. I can check them out with you.

Evan: I might not be very experienced in this, but nothing will go wrong with having another person to think it through with.

MC: Thank you, Evan.

The night breeze blew past, gently ruffling the loose hairs that had fallen out of place in front of Evan’s forehead.

Evan: We've been talking for so long that I forgot that it's already 9 PM. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat anything?

MC: I said I'd treat you! How about we do it now?

MC: Is there anything you'd like to eat?

Evan: Just pick anything you want to eat. I'm fine with anything.

MC: Don't say that! I'm going to need a proper answer from you today.

Evan: Alright then. I'd prefer for it to be something cooling, if possible.

MC: Hmm… Something cooling?

I glanced around, my eyes sweeping past the signboards of teahouses, food stalls, fast food outlets… until it finally stopped on an old and aged sign that stood not too far away.

MC: I know! Wait for me for a while!

❖☆———————————★❖

MC: Auntie! Can I get two servings of red bean ice and two servings of fruit soup?

Many customers surrounded the small shop. The owner stirred the pot of soft red beans, filling the air with a delectably rich scent of sweetness.

Due to the auntie being the only one manning the store, the demand for the red bean ice far exceeded the available supply. Hence, I had to wait for quite a while before my order finally got done.

Just as I happily took the icy delights from her, the pitter-patter of rain sounded from behind.

The rain came down hard and vicious.

The raindrops that pelted against the roof were akin to silver metal wires, trapping me within the confines of the narrow eaves.

With no other option in sight, I held the two cups of icy treats to my chest using my wrist and freed a hand to shoot Evan a message to inform him of my predicament.

However, before I could fish out my phone… a silhouette had come to a stop before me. He put the umbrella away.

MC: I was just about to ping you. What are you doing here?

Evan didn’t say anything, only smiling gently as he took the icy treats from my arms, quietly standing by my side.

Evan: The rain should cease soon. Let's wait together.

MC: ...Okay.

The curtain of rain secluded us in our own little world, and the puddles, reflecting the neon lights of the signboard above, rippled from the night breeze of summer.

And like a domino effect, this soft and gentle ambience made our moods calmer and much more relaxed in turn.

❖☆————— ⊹ For Light & Night⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: (Chapter 2-24 Light) / (Chapter 2-24 Night) | Next Part: (Chapter 3-3)

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #Tencent #萧逸 #Osborn #齐司礼 #Sariel #陆沉 #Evan #查理苏 #Charlie #夏鸣星 #Jesse #For Light and Night

29 notes · View notes

abluescarfonwaston · 4 years ago

Text

Lettenhove Au

Part 1

When somebody loved me.

Geralt was staring at the clothing the staff had placed out for him. It likely wouldn’t fit. Not until they had it significantly tailored. He turned when he heared him enter. Relief. Hope. Fear. He could catalog each emotion perfectly as they flit across Geralt’s face.

He’d had plenty of time to learn.

“You may stay until spring.” He stated. “You will act as my bodyguard until then and in return I’ll make sure you two get safe passage to Skellige. Nilfgaard won’t find you there.”

“Jaskier-“ He started. Stepping towards him in his towel.

“Names are important.”

Everything was beautiful.

“Julian.” He grit like a curse. “Come with us. You hate this place.” He looked around like he expected a monster to jump from the wooden paneling. “I know that.” He said like he meant I know you.

He plastered on the noble smile that was all politeness and cruelty. “Come now. We must all face our fates eventually. You’ve found yours. I have mine.” He pulled his bathrobe from the drawers and handed it to Geralt. “We’ll have your uniform tailored in the morning.”

Every hour we spent together lives within my heart.

“Julek!” His mother crossed the room to hold him in her arms. It always struck him how much smaller and greyer she was even after all these months. “You finally listened to me! Thank you. You’re doing my old heart such a kindness. I know you don’t think you’re in danger but-“

It wasn’t that he didn’t think he was in danger. He just didn’t care. Nilfgaard would overtake them in a year or two anyway. No bodyguard would save him or his people from their destruction.

“Of course Mother. Hired the best of the best. Rest easy.” He kissed her crown and waltzed her back to the desk. “What else needs doing?” Because there was always more that needed doing. Even though he was just a Viscount.

She looked down at stacks of papers that had accumulated on the desk in the years since his Father had passed. Then back up at him. “You’ve done enough for one day.” But not enough to make up for all the days he’d missed. “Will you play for me tonight instead?”

His heart twisted in his feeble chest. Not tonight. He wanted to say. You can burn the fucking lute. Said another part of him.

“Father wouldn’t like that.” He weakly protested.

“I won’t tell him.” She promised. Hope, excitement in her eyes.

His shoulders fell. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that Mum.”

And when he was sad. I was there to dry his tears.

“They took my cloak Geralt! It’s all I had left and they took it and-“

He knocked quietly. They stopped. It opened.

“Jas-“ He cut himself off. “Julian.”

He stepped in around him and closed the door. “In the morning you two will have to play your roles well. You will do your work eagerly and without complaint. Kerack does not have the army to protect you if Nilfgaard realizes you’re here. Lettenhove certainly doesn’t.”

The poor girl look exhausted. On the verge of tears.

He knelt in front of her. “Princess I can’t give you your cloak back but I will send it ahead to Skellige and it will be waiting for you there.”

“Why?” Geralt asked him. “It’s just a cloak.”

He looked at the floor next to Geralt. Keeping him in just the corner of his eye. “It’s Cintrian blue. I could tell that even through the mud. It makes you a target if nothing else. It makes this entire country a target.”

They couldn’t afford to be a target.

He stood to his full height. Turned to Geralt at last.

His hair was shorter now. Matts and dirt and perhaps even lice had necessitated it. A younger version of him would have apologized. Ran his hands through it. Spent hours trying to salvage its length. Geralt kept it long for a reason.

He didn’t know the reason. But he knew there was one. That was enough.

“I promised you a place to stay if ever you could not make it to Kaer Morhen for the winter.” He knew that was why Geralt had come. The trust or hope that despite it all his promise from years ago still held true. “But I’ve also promised to protect these people. Do not make me choose which to uphold.”

His eyes were solemn when he nodded.

And when he was happy so was I.

“Why does your Mother think you need a bodyguard?” He asked when they were alone in his office.

“Dangerous times.” Was all he offered.

He didn’t talk about the assassin who’d pressed the blade to his throat until a kitchen worker had crushed the man’s head with a frying pan. Or the meals that had left him pallid and shaking. He did not explain how court was at least as dangerous as any bog or mountain they’d traversed over the years.

“More heartbroken ladies huh?” Geralt remarked offhandedly.

He stopped reading. Forest. Was the last word. It burned into his eyes.

“Ah yes. I am a cynic, a lecher, a womanizer, and a liar. There is nothing complicated about me.” He echoed Geralt’s words from an inn they’d shared long ago. “How could I forget?”

“Jaskier-“

“You will address me by my title or you will not address me at all.”

“You’re still mad at me.”

Of course I’m still mad. You haven’t even bothered to apologize. You’ve made no effort at all. You’ve shown up at my doorstep pulling favors that you should have lost the right to when you took life’s one blessing. Hissed the part of him that was.

He looked out at the dark varnish of his father’s office. In a few years’ time this place would very likely be his grave as Nilfgaard claimed this land with blood and fire.

He didn’t care.

This place would be his grave and he didn’t care.

It was here or at some cuckholds hands or at the bottom of a bottle of wine.

Death had always nipped at his heels. He was just done running.

“What’s the most important thing in the world?” He’d rambled in Geralt’s direction once. “Friendship.” He’d answered himself. “Friendship and love. Oh and wine.”

Well look how all of that had worked out. His closest friend was a man who did not care for him. Every woman he’d loved he’d cheated on until they could love him no more.

Because he wasn’t made for any of that. Not love. Not friendship.

“Duty. Honor. Our people.” His father had said. “Get your head out of the clouds and think of them.”

At least he always had the wine.

“No.” He answered honestly. The hollow in his chest outweighed the spark of anger a thousand to one. “I know you. I know why you said it. I know the motivations and pain and fears that spurred every word.”

He dipped the quill in the ink-pot and signed. Geralt stayed silent behind him.

“I know you, Geralt of Rivia, perhaps better than you know yourself. So I am not mad.”

He let Geralt brood behind him as he read the next document. Shook his head and moved it to the reject pile. He’d have to write a letter altering the terms later. They didn’t charge Witchers that much for food.

How dumb did they think he was?

“You’re upset. I know it.” Geralt ground his teeth together. “I know you.”

He sighed. He was so tired. “Did you? Do you?” He shook his head. “What do you want Geralt?”

He knew what Geralt wanted. There were several answers and he knew each one.

To keep her safe. Warm. Fed. That was perhaps the most honest answer he could give.

To not be alone. To face raising his daughter on his own this winter without the support of his family. He was terrified and seeking support was another.

I want nothing. He could lie. It was a favorite lie.

“We needed help.” He answered honestly. They did need help. More than he could provide. “And. I missed you Jaskier.”

Did you? Did you miss me? Or just what I provided for you in coin and comfort?

“I will help you, as I have promised.” He began to draft a letter to Baron Oliwier. “But there is no one here by that name.”

He could hear Geralt’s jaw clenching in protest.

“I told you. If I go home I will never come back.” He plotted out the words in careful tongue. “There is no running from destiny. This is mine.”

“Have you given up on poetry then?” Geralt snapped. “You plan on being a miserable old man?”

No. I plan on dying young. He didn’t say.

“You always told me I needed to grow up.”

The fireplace crackled and his quill quietly moved across the page. It sounded like a thousand nights they shared under a starry sky.

And it felt as if he were still all alone in the world.

When he loved me.

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #lettenhove au #geralt #jaskier #tw depression #also like not straight up suicidal thoughts but like. being okay with dying.#idk what yall who wanted more expected #He's clearly severely depressed in part one did you think part two was going to be happier?#i'd post this on ao3 but idk how to give it a happy ending yet so not going to til i figure that out #and also if i can finish it #:p #also the only reason i ended up writing part 2 was cause i thought of this song and was like WELP #so.... if you want part three drop me some song suggestion? gr. How to give this a happy ending #writing

297 notes · View notes

dancinjanssen · 2 years ago

Text

Life update. Haven’t done this in a while, if ever.

I am happiest to report that I got out of slinging coffee (which I’d been doing since 2014 across two different places) and found an office job. Without doxxing myself, essentially I calculate/reconcile real estate agents’ commission checks and make sure that each person involved in the transaction is getting paid the right amount. Monday through Friday, all the holidays off, no more dealing with customers. It’s been pretty great. (The only thing I’m still adjusting to is working 8 to 5 as a natural night owl who would always prefer to be up until 2 am and sleep until 10.) I’m that weirdo who’s always loved math too, so I feel completely in my element. My boss is essentially the 2.0 version of my favorite math teacher from middle school, which has been hilarious and great too. They literally even have the same first name and look alike.

My barista years will always hold a place in my heart. I worked with some amazing coworkers, got to do barista competitions, and now I have knowledge and appreciation of good coffee that I’ll enjoy on the customer end for the rest of my life. That being said…..

Why after eight years in the industry and four of them at this last place did I leave? I’ll tell you exactly why. MANAGEMENT. Really specifically one manager, but the rest of management defended and protected her behavior, so I really left all of them. In a nutshell:

Year one: Different supervisor. Call him M. M wasn’t great, but he eventually got fired. This supervisor- H- got promoted in his place.

Years two and three: For reasons I still don’t comprehend, H took an immediate abnormally strong liking to me. It went beyond just thinking I was a good worker and appreciating me on a professional level. H would tell me to come hang out with her in the office and just talk to her about life for 1-2 hours a night. She told me to always have her grab my money for the register and that if any other manager offered, to tell them she was doing it. And when Covid hit in 2020 and a big part of our staff got furloughed, she moved me from a station that got shut down to one that didn’t just so I wouldn’t get furloughed because she said she would cry if I did. One of the sketchiest straws for me was the night she told me to close the coffee shop for my lunch (like always) but then to stay closed for an extra half hour to come hang out with her.

Year four: Complaints about H favoring me naturally mounted, and finally after enough of them, the boss above her talked to her and told her it needed to stop. I agreed with that. That alone was perfectly fine and needed to happen. But this was where H just went unhinged and made my final year at this place hell. She blamed me almost entirely for our relationship getting out of hand. She told me I got too carried away and didn’t manage my time well enough and that’s why it got noticed that we were together in the office a lot. When I asked her why she never once told me it was time to leave and get back to work (you know, her job as MY BOSS), she told me she thought all my work was done. Oh yeah. Telling me to come hang out with you at 7:30 when the coffee shop closed at 11 was me clearly having all my work done. [Sarcasm]

And from then on, H was not nice to me. She avoided eye contact with me, said the absolute bare minimum to me, and made big shows of saying hi and talking to everyone else while completely ignoring me. Once we got some new hires, they became her new favorites and did all the stuff she and I used to do. It was like she learned NOTHING from what happened with me. These people hung out with her in the office just like we did, but all the while she still iced me out and acted like I was gum on her shoe for getting her in trouble the first time. It put me in a horrendous place mentally. I blamed myself for somehow not being good enough for her or for being “too much” for her. What did these new employees have that I didn’t?

January this year: I along with 5-6 other employees all went to upper management about H. About her favoritism. About her treating us like garbage while her new chosen ones sat in the office and did zero work. About H giving them Christmas gifts right in front of everyone else. All upper management told me was to get over it, back off, and stop letting it bother me. That all H owed me was to be professional and not to be my friend. I told them she wasn’t even being professional with me and they didn’t care. The single only thing they agreed to tell her was that she needed to look at me when she was talking to me. They agreed the lack of eye contact was rude. (I know some autistic people prefer that, but I don’t. Mileage may vary. And it was her being rude, not uncomfortable with eye contact. She made it with everyone else.)

February to May this year: I went day to day never knowing which version of H I was going to get. Some days she randomly warmed up to me again, others she kept icing me out. Some days she made eye contact, others she didn’t. One day she walked with me into the building and made conversation the whole way, the next she’d avert her eyes and walk on without me.

May 2022: I finally drew the line for my mental health, said enough of this bullshit, and found a new job. Gave H my two weeks on May 23rd (sooo satisfying!) and my last day was June 2nd. I didn’t even have to do that. I could have told her to go get f**ked and walked out right on the 23rd. But I cared about my other coworkers enough to work my two weeks, plus the new place didn’t start me until June 6th anyway.

June 2nd (my last day): Probably the single weirdest day I ever had with H. Each month this year, she planned to bring cake one night and celebrate all the birthdays of that month. She saw that through in January, February, and March only, and then had abandoned it. Back in January, she accidentally announced me with the names even though I’m a May baby. Sometime later when the vibe was right, I let her know that, and she felt bad and said I could pick one of the cake flavors for May. (She always got two cakes.) After no cake happened in April, I thought it was a lost cause anyway, but when I asked a couple of times almost just to be snarky, she kept insisting it was happening.

Finally on my last day, she told me she had my cake. That it was MY cake and she didn’t get cake for anyone else, and it was combination birthday and going away/new job. She said all of this very stoically and mechanically. When I went to her office later to get the cake, it was goodbye for us and I didn’t really know what to say. I thanked her and told her I was sorry that things got rough with us, and she said “It is what it is. I’m glad you can grow in your new career now.” So that told me she was ecstatic for me to leave.

The whole thing was just WEIRD. I never really knew where I stood with her. Getting out was the absolute best thing for me. I wish everyone else luck in their navigations with her.

I still keep in touch with coworkers. I am happy to say that one month later, my job has not been filled yet and they’re now offering $1,000 sign on bonuses for some of the positions. That place can drown in its shitty management. I did my part to try to change it and nobody cared. Sayonara.

#long post #work #management #great resignation #jobs

2 notes · View notes

bagog · 3 years ago

Text

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.

#personal #depressed writing #life update #2020 sucked

22 notes · View notes

citylightsbooks · 4 years ago

Text

A Women’s History of City Lights: Interview with Nancy J. Peters

We'll be celebrating Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s 102nd birthday on March 24, and what better way to remember his legacy AND to mark Women’s History Month, than to honor Nancy J. Peters, Lawrence’s business partner, friend, and longtime comrade at City Lights Books. While Ferlinghetti certainly deserves all of the accolades he’s received, the fact of the matter is there would literally be no City Lights without Nancy Peters. Beyond shepherding City Lights through various fiscal crises and providing the steady anchor that allowed Ferlinghetti to travel the world as a poet and activist, Nancy's vision as an editor and acumen as a publisher were a vital key to the success and longevity of City Lights Publishers.

***

City Lights: How did you come to know what City Lights was? How did you meet Lawrence Ferlinghetti?

Nancy Peters: In Greece in the early 1960s, I became friends with Nanos Valaoritis and Marie Wilson who were at the center of an international bohemian/surrealist community. They had a large home which was always full of traveling writers and artists whom they made welcome. The Beat writers were among their guests, and City Lights was frequently talked about as a place everyone would meet up someday. I met Philip Lamantia there and in 1965 he introduced me to Lawrence in Paris at one of Jean-Jacque Lebel’s anarcho-surrealist festivals of free expression. Before a riotous crowd Lawrence gave a show-stopping rendition of his “Lord’s Prayer.” I was impressed by his powerful stage presence. Later that year, when Philip and I were living in Andalusia, Lawrence wrote Philip, asking for a selection of poems for a Pocket Poets Series volume. We corresponded some while we were putting the book together, but I didn’t see him again until 1971 when I moved to San Francisco.

I’d been working as an executive-trainee librarian at the Library of Congress in the fall of 1968. In April, Martin Luther King was assassinated and the impassioned protests that ensued left Washington neighborhoods in ruins. There was shockingly little assistance to residents from the government and my part of the city was under military surveillance, helicopters hovering over my apartment through the night. A Moratorium to End the War in Vietnam took place in Washington the following year. Over 750,000 people peacefully demonstrated. In a small way, I was involved in the planning and, during the protests, my apartment was crammed with fellow activists.

The Library of Congress was an amazing, fascinating place with compatible co-workers from all over the world—thousands of book people all in one place. However, the mission of the Library is to serve Congress, and the institution was a huge conservative bureaucracy serving a conservative and ineffective Congress as I saw it. I believed that if I stayed there I would have little contact with actual books or opportunities for civic activism.

So I moved to San Francisco, where Philip was living and urging me to come, and spent an enormous amount of time at City Lights while I was job hunting. It seemed like paradise, such a stimulating atmosphere where people could sit down to read, share ideas, and have conversations about books, politics, art. One day in early 1971 when I was walking down the street in North Beach, Lawrence hailed me and asked if I would like to help him with a bibliography of Allen Ginsberg’s writings. After just a brief meeting at the publishing office, Lawrence went to Europe and his editorial assistant Jan Herman suddenly decided to move to Germany. Jan showed me how all the editorial work was done in the office, told me Lawrence “wouldn’t mind,” and so I found myself beginning an exciting new career in publishing.

What was your experience taking over as executive director and co-owner in 1984?

The store back then employed seven people: six men at the bookstore and one (me) at the publishing branch. So “executive director” is far too grand a title. City Lights was a small, failing organization by 1982. The store was not founded to make profits for the owners and it never did make a profit. Breaking even was the goal. But every year the losses mounted and there came a time when there were very few books left on the shelves. No one had seen a customer venture downstairs to the lower part of the store for many months.

At the time, Lawrence was immensely popular and in great demand as a performer and a speaker, so he was traveling much of the time, visiting foreign colleagues, living abroad, finding new writers to translate. At this low point in the store’s history Lawrence told me in a frustrated moment that if I’d like to own City Lights, he would give it to me outright if I would run the business, freeing him to do all the other things he wanted to do. I declined, but told him I would be honored to be his partner. Theft was seriously addressed, and a protracted payment plan was agreed to by Book People, the East Bay employee-owned distributors who extended us credit for a generous period. Savvy booksellers Richard Berman and Paul Yamazaki headed the re-stocking plan. The three of us would go every week to Book People and Lou Swift Distributors to collect enough books to sell the following week. As time went on, everybody at the store consulted book catalogs and took on the responsibility for buying subject sections. I envisioned a participatory structure. If not a co-op, I wanted a bookstore where all the staff had responsibilities and power.

Why the decision not to have multiple bookstore locations around SF?

At one time we seriously considered additional locations. We explored sites in San Francisco’s Mission district and visited city officials in San Jose to talk about a second store there. But our resources were limited, and we were concerned about the time and money that would be required to create a sister store that would embody the same spirit and ethic as the original. During my time as director, the evolving challenges from chain stores and especially Amazon made beginning a new store a very risky enterprise. In retrospect, so many independents were closing that we decided to invest in our present, iconic location. In retrospect I think it was a good decision after watching attempts by other stores fail to duplicate their success elsewhere.

How has North Beach changed, how has it stayed the same? With the exodus of Big Tech and falling rents, how do you think that will affect North Beach and San Francisco in general in the future? Will there be “a rebirth of wonder”?

North Beach when I came to SF was a small bohemian village, where neighbors shared meals on their flat rooftops watching the sun set over the Bay. My rent was $125 a month, cheap even then. City Lights and the Discovery Bookstore (used books) next door to Vesuvio were key places to spend an evening. Two large Italian grocers delivered (no charge) bags of groceries up four flights of stairs to my apartment. The neighborhood was full of inexpensive Basque, Italian, and Chinese restaurants, and many cafes, many of which seemed unchanged since the 19th century. Change happens, and City Lights is well prepared for the future. It’s never easy to predict how things will develop, but the feeling of a lovely Mediterranean town persists, with the wooden buildings painted pastel colors, and the shimmering sea light on misty days. I feel certain that the light of City Lights will prevail for a long time to come.

Do you feel that your gender had any impact on your experience during your 23 years as director? Do you have any comments about women in bookselling or publishing in general?

Gender always has an impact. The Beat movement was certainly male focused. Even though the undaunted Diane di Prima was recognized, she was never enthusiastically supported by the inner nucleus of Beat poets. It was a long time before the Beat women came into their own. From the start, Lawrence, who insisted he wasn’t a Beat, had eclectic tastes and was open to women’s poetry. He admired Marianne Moore and Edna St. Vincent Millay as much as he did T.S. Eliot, Jacques Prévert, and Allen Ginsberg. In the Pocket Poets Series, he’d published di Prima and, very early in the series, both Marie Ponsot and Denise Levertov.

Women’s rights and opportunities are always vulnerable and cyclic. The Women’s Movement of the 1970s was very powerful and widespread, its impact on women’s lives enormous. At City Lights we hired more women; we published more women. There have always been outstanding women in publishing and bookselling, and during that time increasingly more women writers were published, reviewed, and were given accolades and awards. Women opened general bookstores and women’s bookstores, founded feminist and lesbian presses. It was a thrilling development, to see so many marginalized writers, and not just women, finding established publishers or creating their own presses. Together they created a larger, much more diverse national literature.

I’ve had the pleasure of working with many talented women at the bookstore. And in the publishing branch: Stella Levy, Kim McCloud, and Patricia Fujii. Gail Chiarello collected and edited our bestselling Bukowski stories. Annie Janowitz proposed the timely Unamerican Activities, and Amy Scholder brought us classics by Karen Finley, Rebecca Brown, and others. I’m happy to say that Amy Scholder is again working with City Lights as an editor.

When did you meet the now current publisher and executive director Elaine Katzenberger? What was her position at the bookstore? When did you know that she was the right person to take over as director?

Ah, Elaine, the woman who can do everything! Elaine began at the bookstore sales counter, then reorganized files and the store accounts, and very soon excelled as a book buyer. She had a great feeling for good writing, so I asked her to become an editor and she immediately began adding excellent books to City Lights’ list. She’s smart, witty, multitalented, and politically astute. We are very lucky to have her at the helm.

What is your understanding or vision of what of City Lights is and what it could be? How has Lawrence’s passing impacted this?

Lawrence’s democratic inclusiveness made him the best-selling poet in the U.S. His moral principles, his courage and resilience are a model to be emulated. He conceived City Lights as an educational institution that would open minds to explore and relate to the world through books. “One guy told me he’d got the equivalent of a Ph. D just sitting in the basement reading all our great books,” he often reminded us.

His “literary gathering place” was to be a fulcrum of San Francisco cultural experience, where our bookselling and publishing could amplify the voices of diverse experiences, connect with other creative communities, and serve as a center of dissent and, at the same time, a force for creating a better society.

Lawrence’s vision will continue to be our guiding light. An optimistic realist, he believed that City Lights would long endure as the co-creation of all the dedicated people who work here and make it what it is.

#nancy peters #lawrence ferlinghetti #womens history month #city lights bookstore

42 notes · View notes

writingletterstothefire · 4 years ago

Text

She Loves Me

Chapter 1

A/N: Hi guys. It’s been a minute. Here is the long awaited (by no one) She Loves Me AU. I’m putting chapter 1 out here in the hopes that people waiting for updates will spark some creativity in me again. I’m sorry it’s short. If you enjoy, let me know

Word Count: 1703

Warnings: not proof read.

The sun was blazing down on you as you scurried down the busy New York sidewalk. The summer had decided to be blazing hot this wonderful morning, and you had decided to be extraordinarily late for work. Well, perhaps ‘decided’ isn’t the right word— you’d overslept on account of staying up extra late to finish a letter to your Special Friend.

There was no shame in using a dating service, you knew that, yet for some reason the very thought of joining one was something that you had scoffed at for so many years. “I want to meet someone organically,” you’d complain to your friends, “those services are full of strangers who have the weirdest quirks.” To be fair, that had been true in your brief experience using a dating service in college. It was definitely an odd time, figuring out exactly what ‘watersports’ meant. Needless to say, it had taken one single date for you to decide to withdraw your application and swear off dating services.

But you were getting older. And men seemed to just get more and more picky, the older they got. So, when you stumbled across an advertisement in your Sunday newspaper for a matchmaking service called ‘Special Friends’, you jumped at the opportunity. The directions were simple; you filled out the survey in the paper, mailed it to the listed address, and then your answers were compared with other submissions to find the best match for you. Once you received your match, you were to write a letter to them introducing yourself and signing off under the title of ‘Special Friend’. The two of you were given a specific P.O. box to drop your letters off to, provided by the matchmaking service. The only real rules were that the letter had to be handwritten, and you were only allowed to give real names if both parties agreed on it.

Your Special Friend was a true kindred spirit. It had been six months of trading letters back and forth, and the two of you spoke about everything, from your childhoods to your favorite books, from dream destinations to worst fears. About three months into this correspondence, you knew that, whoever this Special Friend was, you loved them. You stayed up until all hours of the night writing draft after draft until you formed the perfect letter. Because of this, you were often late for work in the morning.

Late. That’s right. You were very late. You willed your feet to move you as fast as they possibly could, cursing yourself for choosing this morning to wear heels. Finally, you managed to burst through the door just minutes before opening, scurrying to the back to drop off your bag. You made a mental note to yourself to start carrying flats in your purse, in case of emergency.

You’d just finished touching up your makeup in the small staff room mirror, when you felt someone sidle up beside you. You didn’t have to turn your head to know who it was. The smug energy emanating from his every pore was enough to confirm your suspicions of who was next to you. Santiago Garcia. Your worst nightmare in human form.

“Can I help you with something, Mr. Garcia?” You didn’t even spare him a glance as you finger-combed your hair, which was now windswept from your impromptu jog.

“Not at all, Miss Y/L/N,” Santiago flashed you a smile that, in any other circumstance, would have been charming. You, however, knew that pure contempt lurked behind those pearly white teeth. “I was just marveling at the rare sight of you, here, on time!”

“And why would that be something to marvel at, Mr. Garcia?” you scowled.

“Well, simply because it’s never happened before!” Santiago leaned against the wall, charming smile morphing into the smirk that often adorned his chiseled face. “You know, Miss Y/L/N, you may want to stop frowning so adamantly. At your age, those frown lines tend to stick around.”

“At my age?!” you nearly shrieked at him. “Mr. Garcia, need I remind you that you are older than I am!”

His smirk only widened. “Yes, but you seem to forget that one of us is ageing with grace, Miss Y/L/N.”

Your scowl deepened, and you shoved past him, making your way to the front of the store. You never did understand why Santiago didn’t like you. From the first moment you stepped into the department store, it seemed like he was trying to usher you out. Sure, when he thought you were a customer, he was the most charming man you’d ever spoken to. But once he had realized that you were trying to apply for the new salesperson position, he wanted nothing to do with you. He had insisted that there were no positions available, but Frankie Morales, his friend and co-worker, was quick to usher you to the owner’s office. Mr. Bailey had been a hard man to charm, but when you made your first sale to a woman who was insistent that she was just browsing, he hired you on the spot. After all, you’d gotten her to buy not one, not two, but five jars of various creams and lotions. None of Mr. Bailey’s workers had ever managed to sell that much in one go, not even his prized Mr. Garcia.

Making your way to the front of the store, you said hello and gave a kiss on the cheek to Frankie and each of the Miller brothers, Will and Benny. All three of the boys were quick to welcome you, despite Santi being the unspoken leader of the pack. They quickly became your protective band of brothers, something you’d long wished for as a young child.

“Good morning Frankie! How’s Elisa doing this morning?” You asked Frankie, your tone surprisingly chipper after dealing with Santi in the staff room.

“Round as ever!” Frankie exclaimed, a wide grin on his face. “The doctors estimate that the baby will be here in about a month, and Mr. Bailey’s been so kind as to let me have a month off after the baby arrives. I know it’s going to take a toll on Elisa, and I want to be there for her as much as I can.”

Sometimes, Frankie just melted your heart. It was so plain to see how much he loved his wife and their incoming baby. Their little family was everything you wanted. You only hoped that one day someone would love you just as much as Frankie and Elisa loved each other.

It was beginning to seem as though your Special Friend was never going to reveal himself to you. You had offered to meet for dinner on a few occasions, and each time he insisted that he had prior appointments. You didn’t want to assume anything, of course, but you were getting worried. Surely he wouldn’t lie to you about having a prior engagement, would he? But then, if he was so eager to meet you, as he claimed to be, then why did he never offer an alternative date?

On your way home from work, you stopped at the P.O. box. Your Special Friend had forgotten— or, well, neglected, you supposed— to write you the past two days, but you were adamant about writing at least every other day. You knew how much the letters meant to you, and if they brought him even half as much joy, you wanted to be sure he got it. Perhaps, if you hadn’t been so caught up in your own head, you would have looked up and seen the figure walking away from the wall of P.O. boxes.

To your surprise and delight, there was a letter waiting for you in the box when you finally opened it. If you hadn’t been so excited to read it, perhaps you’d have noticed the flash of a coat turning the corner as they walked away from the wall of boxes.

You hurried to open the letter.

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry to have not been able to write these past few days. Work has been an absolute train wreck, what with the most irritating co-worker constantly fumbling about. Somehow, the boss claims it’s my fault. Could you believe it? My fault that my imbecile of a co-worker is incapable of doing the simplest task that doesn’t involve talking a mile per minute?

But enough about that mess. I am supposed to be apologizing to you, my dear, sweet friend.

I know that you have been wanting to meet me. I am so sorry that I haven’t been able to make any of our appointments. As I’ve told you before, I was once in the army. An experience in war is one that I don’t wish on anyone. It takes a toll on you, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Because of my experience, I’ve decided to counsel other veterans and help them through their traumatic memories. On the nights you had wished to meet me, I’d had previously arranged counseling sessions, as well as one doctors appointment, a check up to see how I am recovering after all of my surgeries that I’ve told you about.

All of this to say, dear friend, that I’ve cleared my schedule for the night of the 27th. If you are available, I would love to meet you at the Ambrosia Garden down on the corner of 12th Avenue. I’ve made a reservation for two under the name Elizabeth Bennett, after you expressed how much you loved Jane Austen’s ‘Pride & Prejudice’. If you show, I will be wearing a purple rose on my lapel. I will look for you, where you will be holding a copy of ‘Pride & Prejudice’, with a purple rose tucked between the pages.

I sincerely hope to see you on the 27the, dear friend. I’ve been longing to meet you since we first exchanged letters, so many months ago.

Sincerely,

Your Special Friend

You had to meet him. You would get to the Ambrosia Garden on the 27th, no matter the cost. You’d find out who your Special Friend was if it was the last thing you did.

#santi garcia x reader #santiago garcia x y/n #santiago garcia x you #santiago garcia fanfiction #santiago garcia #santiago x reader #santiago garcia x reader #she loves me au

49 notes · View notes