#one of my worst posted here methinks

[zeddertop-bugster]

why is my larry jacq sketch my most liked post on this blog like actually

literally a sketch im going to draw them more and ill actually finish it this is a threat WHY are you liking my crummy unfinished sketch of pain

[rxzennia]

On Aventurine's Cooperative Eidolons

– an unprofessional dissection

✎𓂃 Namely E1 (Prisoner's Dilemma) and E6 (Stag Hunt Game). I don't doubt that this could just be pure coincidence, but this is Hoyo we're talking about. Properly capitalized work on my blog? More likely than you think. I am not eloquent enough for this. On a side note, I got a deep ass papercut from trying to dig through my bag a while ago, then I hurt the base of my finger 'cause I smacked it into a drawer. Ouch.

Context

See the Etymology section of Aventurine's trivia on the Wiki. There are further Wikipedia links to everything for all you nerds out there (I'm one of them, don't worry). This Reddit post is also good enough, methinks.

If you don't want to read all that, here's the TL;DR:

Prisoner's Dilemma has prisoners A and B who committed, say, arson together. They're interrogated separately (i.e., no communication between them), and there are four outcomes – if neither of them confess (both serve 0 years), if A confesses and B doesn't (and vice versa – whoever doesn't confess serves 20 years), and if they both confess (both serve 10 years). The best individual outcome for each side, then, is to snitch ("defect").

Stag Hunt Game has hunters C and D who must decide whether to hunt a rabbit or a stag with no knowledge of the other's decision. The stag will feed them for a week, and the rabbit will feed them for 2 days. To hunt the stag, they must work together. Otherwise, it could end in three ways: D goes for the stag (D will then starve) and C goes after the rabbit to feed themselves (and the other way around), or both C and D go for the rabbit and each respectively gain 2 days' worth of food. Both hunters are, therefore, more likely to cooperate to get the best outcome (the stag).

On Aventurine's Cooperative Eidolons

What catches my eye is how these two are sequenced. With the Prisoner's Dilemma at E1, and then through E2 to 5 until Stag Hunt Game appears in E6, it's more than just a representation of Aventurine's life up to this point. I wonder if this is a reflection of how his beliefs have changed, or if it's a reflection of what the individual departments of the IPC means to him, or if it's both.

As that Reddit post has already said, the PD applies to Aventurine and his owner. However, if we consider the game as between him and the IPC (or specifically the Marketing Development Department in this case), then the PD takes on a completely different meaning. When the Second Katica-Avgin Extinction Event took place, the Avgins were expecting the IPC to come to their aid, so they went ahead with the festivities on the day of Kakava. This was the worst possible outcome for the Avgins, and honestly I think I died a little inside when I came to this realization halfway through writing this. Sure, it's uncertain if the Avgins would've called off the festival were they aware of the IPC's plan, but I think that's just a bandaid on a broken bone.

The Avgin clan cooperated, and the IPC defected. The IPC acquired the optimal outcome – they effectively ensured the elimination of the Avgins and the Katicans from the politics in Sigonia – while the Avgin clan found themselves facing extinction. While there has been communication between the IPC and the Avgin, it's untrustworthy communication – basically equivalent to having no communication (the PD may still hold when there is communication, granted that it is ineffective; for explanations see here). Logically speaking, the Avgin clan should know this; the IPC did have an indirect hand in their banishment to the desert, which would then be reasonable to say that the IPC has no interest in resolving the enmity between Avgins and Katicans. The rational action here for the Avgins, then, would be to defect as well, but this isn't a world where every player is rational.

What all of this implies is that in such a situation, where a rational player in the Avgins' position would choose to defect, the Avgins in the story chose to bet on that non-existent chance of cooperation in a Prisoner's Dilemma. How desperate must they be to take that chance in cooperation, to wilfully ignore all the signs that point to defection by the IPC?

If you hear sobbing in the distance, you'd better join me. Well played, Hoyo. Well played. Okay, let's move on.

A Prisoner's Dilemma (PD) can become a Stag Hunt (SH) through eliminating the factors that contribute to the "every man for himself" sentiment in the PD. Suppose there is a scenario where the PD applies. What makes both sides equally wary of the other, and what prevents them from working together as they would've in a SH? Uncertainty. Incomplete information and trustworthiness – if you don't know what move the other side is going to make, you have to look for the best move for your situation.

In the real world, incomplete information is generally addressed by institutions. Information is made transparent by various institutions at various levels so that there is less guesswork for the players in the dilemma. It reminds me of the IPC Strategic Investment Department, since they are providing information for Aventurine to make decisions for his next move, and simultaneously trade information with the Marketing Development Department. It's less that they do it willingly, but because they're both departments under the IPC, there is a certain level of transparency between them. 

Trustworthiness is essentially how one convinces others of their intentions. How else can anyone look at your past actions and determine that you're likely to cooperate if you have nothing vouching for you? Aventurine went from being a slave to a Stoneheart, and so with his current position and connections comes a certain degree of trustworthiness. Therefore, the IPC, too, have to honor deals made with him, as they have an image to maintain to everyone else in the cosmos – all because of Aventurine's position. It's a real shame that only now that the Marketing Development Department can't walk all over him again. A real shame.

By E6, Aventurine is playing the Stag Hunt Game, as opposed to the Prisoner's Dilemma. Is he collaborating with the Strategic Investment Department to achieve some mutual goal, where both will benefit? Hell, is he playing the Stag Hunt with the Astral Express, too? What is his desired outcome, then? 

If we look at this in terms of how Aventurine's beliefs have changed, he's gone from a lone player to someone with a lot of cards. He's intentionally put himself in a position where cooperation becomes worthwhile, thus ensuring his interactions all fall under the "Stag Hunt" category. This doesn't mean that his life is free from betrayal, given how he seems to expect the dirtiest tactics in the execution of an interaction; rather, he expects that the outcome of any action would bring him a net benefit that offsets the price of being betrayed. 

This means he's learned from the Second Katica-Avgin Extinction Event, where the defection of one player and the cooperation of the other resulted in the optimal outcome for the defector at the expense of the cooperator. I'd like to think he is where he is now because he wants to be well equipped to turn any future interactions that would land him in a PD into a SH; he sees the value in cooperation, the benefit of being able to play his cards with the expectation that his opponent would play into the outcome he wants because of a shared goal. 

If we examine this as two distinct interactions with the IPC departments, we have the Prisoner's Dilemma and the Marketing Development Department on one hand, and the Stag Hunt and the Strategic Investment Department on the other. This interpretation brings up a very familiar notion: Aventurine and the Marketing Development Department are never going to get along. With the PD, there is no way both sides would cooperate, and so there we have it. Even if Aventurine doesn't know about the role that the Department played in Sigonia (as there is no canon confirmation as of yet), he isn't going to get along with them as someone of the Strategic Investment Department. True to the political climate within the IPC, there is barely any trust, nor any expectation to cooperate beyond what is absolutely necessary.

Aventurine's association with the Strategic Investment Department is a SH game in and of itself. Diamond gets a new Stoneheart, and Aventurine gets to live. I have no doubt that he manipulates every mission into a SH situation by revealing just enough of his cards; it's highly unlikely that he's able to achieve the Department's goals with no assistance. 

Overall, well… This goober is still living in my head rent free. Thanks, Hoyo.

[inamindfarfaraway]

So I saw your post here [https://www.tumblr.com/inamindfarfaraway/690058488775327745/batfamily-fanworks-that-purport-to-be-set-in-the] and oh my gosh YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

As much as I enjoy it, Hush is definitely to blame for this as it is held as THE end-all-be-all of all BatFam stories yet Cass (who an acclaimed ongoing series as Batgirl around the same time) was suspiciously missing from it along with Steph. Yet we only ever get flashbacks to Bab's time as Batgirl so that storyline also ended up cementing Bab's legacy as "the one and only Batgirl". Methinks a certain editor in charge at the time mandated for Cass and Steph to not appear in Hush because they-according to him-"were way too toxic" for said storyline. Because you see, as soon as he became a leading editor, his number one priority was getting rid of Steph and stripping Cass of her Batgirl role.

And so the age of darkness began...

First, there was War Games that solely existed to torture Steph in the most vile, most voyeuristic ways before killing her off. Then there was Robin: One Year Later, one of the worst, horrific character-assassination storylines since Spider-Man's One More Day, where Cass was suddenly turned into an over-the-top Saturday Morning cartoon villain obsessed with killing everyone, giving long-winded "together we can rule the world" speeches and being able to speak and write in fluent Navajo. ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT LANGUAGES IN THE WORLD. Then there was Redemption Road which, despite its good moments and happy ending, did even more damage to Cass's character. And finally, we have Battle For The Cowl which ended up pushing Cass and Steph so far into the background, they were basically erased from the BatFamily altogether.

Yet despite Steph's well-received run as Batgirl, DC's poor marketing and the lead up to the New 52 prevented the series from becoming a proper bestseller and it was cancelled without any fanfare whatsoever. Still, all those horrible decisions and storylines (like War Games and Robin: One Year Later) did such massive, long term damage to the characters that, even despite all the small good things (Steph's Batgirl series to the excellent Gates Of Gotham mini-series starring Cass), they were buried from public consciousness. As for Duke (another character, I'm a fan of), I think its just a case of him being a very recent character, a lack of marketing and higher-ups not knowing what to do with him.

As for the asshole editor who everything to burry the Batgirls, he was eventually fired for creating an "unsafe working environment". And yes, his name rhymes with "Ban Video".

As for the people who keep erasing Cass, Steph and Duke from fan works, I know it sounds depressing but hear me out: Fandom, be it comics, video games, films, cartoons, TV shows, ect, has an unconscious bias of white male favouritism. (Yes, I know Dick is Romani, Damien half-Arabic/Asian yet they're still quite white-passing)

YES! THANK YOU! ALL OF THIS!

It is so sad and frustrating that these bias persist even in communities that are meant to be about joy and love; but of course the Batfam fandom has issues with sexism and racism when the canon also has for so long. I'm sure most fans don't try to be prejudiced, but male and white-passing characters are so much more popular than others. The unfair treatment of Steph as Robin and both her and Barbara in making Babs Batgirl again for no reason is one of the things I wrote Robins: The Musical to vent about, and that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Thanks for the explanation! I was already familiar with most of the context you generously provided, but I still really appreciate it as a specific comics shame/recommendation guide and education for others. I wasn't aware of Gates of Gotham and will read it! Black Bat my beloved. Dan Didio when I catch you...

(My original post is here)

[nvuy]

Nvuy...how do people start posting on tumblr like... I do it and it always ends up looking messy! Any tips? Also I love your work!

Shushang 🦦🌷

oh boy i am the worst advice giver ever but here goes

if youre speaking from a graphic standpoint DONT ASK ME, graphic design is NOT my passion i am hopeless. but in all of my social media accounts i like to stick to a simple theme so maybe sticking to a consistent colour palette would work to tidy things up?

you have a sushang theme goin on so you can have fun with purples and golds & bc there complementary you can make some wacky and dramatic displays so go nuts.

typically tho i like when authors use some sort of indication to seperate the warnings and title from the actual writing, even if you just use a line like i do. just makes everything look about tidier and polished methinks.

ALSO if your works are super duper long please for the love of god use the ‘read more’ line breaker before i break ur spine

in terms of how to start posting, just do it.

whatever you got, lay it on the plate because im hungry. write what you want, because its your blog at the end of the day, and anyone that doesnt like it wont interact with it. theres always going to be SOMEONE out there who likes what you put out. one devoted follower who constantly interacts is better than one hundred random ghost follower lurkers.

it took me four months to get my first post out because i was so worried because tumblr scary and theres so many people here and i dont even go here & then i did it and two people commented and said they liked it and i kept going and now im here and about to miss deadlines at school but i also got noticed by blogs i used to avidly stalk with envy so theres that to look forward to

mind you i posted my first post in december and only actually got a consistent audience about two months ago. it takes a while, but if youre a familiar face in the tags people will flock to you and sing kumbaya when you post.

just post. no harm done.

[prism-forgone]

Asriel Dreemurr is a Prince of Doom ((bangs pots and pans))

[ALT: he seems like he'd be a prince of doom since princes usually act like their opposite aspect AND he acts like a life player methinks]

via @ghostzdrawz

in a reblog for this post: x

putting this as a separate post because it got so long that i couldn't simply put it below your reblog ^^'

yes that is exactly my classpect for asriel!!

( just as a sidenote, I find it very fun that, given my track record of assigning UTDR characters classpects, when a character is a Prince, they are also literally a prince in canon, like Ralsei, and now Asriel).

Asriel Dreemurr // Prince of Doom

You (very correctly!) stated Princes ghost their opposite aspect, and they do that since it's only prudent for a destruction class to destroy their aspect through leaning into the opposite one, too. The fact Princes destroy their aspect or destroy with their aspect supports this even more. They're destructive inwards and towards their environment, zeroing in on things having to do with their aspect and, depending on their mental state, destroying the enemies of its well-being or (usually, really) making it wither.

The ways Asriel supports Doom as an aspect are so numerous that it isn't even funny, so I'm just gonna list some things from my aspect notes and provide brief explanations:

affinity for unfortunate events, either in being the victim or invoking them (the incident he and Chara had with buttercups instead of cups of butter, Chara's death and subsequently Asriel's death during the scheme they both agreed on, creating entire timelines where he concocts his own genoroutes)

natural magnet for the worse parts of the narrative (being fated to live as a soulless being by pure chance, since his ashes were on the flowers purely by coincidence)

great supply of empathy and/or wisdom (the former is true for Asriel, who has a soul; the latter for Flowey, who is soulless and tested how things work many times - he even gives you a mock tutorial)

sufferers and martyrs (Asriel sacrificed himself to not kill anyone, even when attacked)

affinity for attunement with some kind of... otherness, alongside Life (like the exiles or horrorterrors in HS, or what I interpret as game mechanics in UT, and kinda just us - Flowey addresses Frisk, Chara and the player all at separate occasions)

Doom's symbolism of skulls, fire, explosions and bombs (he literally uses all these in his various attacks, most in the Omega Flowey form, that one with the added caveat of vaguely destroying Doom by using plants, Life's domain, too; but the skull appears in his Hyperdeath form attack)

literal meanings of death, sacrifice, entropy, acceptance (the first two are already plenty clear, entropy is just what Flowey was doing before we got here again and again, and what he attempts to do as Omega Flowey; and acceptance is what he finally exhibits at the end of True Pacifist)

abstract meanings of deterioration, nihilism, stagnation, static state of affairs, pessimism and limitations (most are already clear - the static nature of Flowey is him resetting again and again, to the point where Sans, along with whoever he was conducting research with, noticed the time anomalies and literally had depression induced because of the fact time is just Standing Still in a loop and nothing seems to matter anyhow so why bother trying <- destroying with Doom at its finest example; but also, the loop could be seen as something exactly opposite, since Flowey always tests something different).

Additionally, as the Extended Zodiac tells us - even though I try to not rely on it too much - the best a Doom hero can be is wise, kind and non-judgmental, while the worst they can be is being filled with bitterness, resentment and fatalism. The difference is between if they cling to the past or if they learn from it.

so, yeah. to sum up, my track record already shows i need very little to get me going about this so i'm very sorry ☝️however, counterpoint: it's really fun to do this hahah

[mysynthfetish]

Failure... Success...

After I got the DR-220E, I saw this DR-220A on the auction for ¥2,000 being sold as 'junk' and thought what the hell, why not? I cleaned the leaked battery juice off the E, probably just another case of the same but more of it. Boy was I wrong...

I immediately knew I was in for a bad trip when I opened the battery compartment and was met with that. I plugged in a wall wart and turned it on but no luck, it was dead as fuck. So I opened it up to see how far the corrosion had gone.

There's the reverse side of the battery terminals in the second picture. If you look at the resistors on the left side, you can see corrosion. How far HAD the corrosion crept?

All the way through the traces on the PCB to the main IC. And see those down arrows? The corrosion had all but eaten the screws that used to be there. Holy fuck! It was the worst case of battery corrosion gone buck wild that I have ever seen. And the smell? Oof. I still haven't thrown it in the trash. Some silly part of me is like but but but maybe something can be salvaged? NOPE. The freakin traces on the PCB were BLACK. The corrosion had grown up out of the solder spots like a fungus or slime mold. Gnarly shit man!

I dunno if I posted this previously. I wanted one of these for ages. Saw one on Mercari (flea market app) for a reasonable price so I bought it. Fun synth. I saw someone on schmootube referred to it as the iSynth. Heh. Not quite up to the Apple design aesthetic methinks.

Got a few Aira Compact machines, a pair of S-1s and a T-8. Stuck knob caps from Thonk on 'em and they look and feel nicer now. S-1 is basically a 2020's MC-202 on steroids. T-8 is fun for what it is. The size and fun factor are big scorers here. They sound great as well.

Picked this up off the auction just to play some short C-64 voice synthesizer samples live in a gig I got coming up. Not sure how I feel about this thing. It'll do what I need it to so that's all I can ask I guess.

The Drum Mint!!! What a wee weirdo! Fun little shit. I can't believe people are baking shit like this up in their free time. Maniacs! Sounds ghetto as hell. Right up my alley.

Last but not least, the Elmyra 2. Bought the DIY kit off Thonk. Took about two and a half hours to solder together. Endless jacks and pots. Mind-numbing. Did it at work, since the school year is over and I have no more paid time off and there's feck all to do anyway. Very interesting machine. Definitely from some dark corner of outer space. Fun stuff.

[velvet-cupcake-games]

Made Marion Development Update, December 2021

Happy Winter Solstice, and Merry Whatever Non-Avalon Holidays You May Be Celebrating This Time of Year!

I have a couple grinchy updates before we get to the presents.

1. Survey Deadline Approaching!

This is for Kickstarter backers, so I've removed it in other posts.

2. Release Date Pushback

I've been evaluating our progress at the end of the year, and at the team's current pace, we won't be able to release at our initial goal of August 2022. I am officially adjusting our anticipated release to Q4 2022 instead.

I'm very sorry we won't be able to hit our initial goal, but as you all know, it's been a very challenging couple of years for most of the planet.  On my part - you know that town in British Columbia that hit the international news for severe flooding?  Yeah, that was my town. We've had the entire natural world drop on our heads in various incarnations (deadly heatwave, wildfire smoke quarantine, catastrophic flooding) over the last six months. And while my family has escaped the worst consequences, it's affected my spouse's work schedule and I've had to take on a much larger share of household tasks. This is only fair, because his steady job is what allows me to take a chance on starting my own business and making awesome games for all of you!

CREDIT: SOPHIA MIDDLETON/THE GLOBE AND MAIL

My spouse's usual work commute as of mid-November. Yeah, it was bad.

We're still making steady progress, and anticipate the beta for Robin's route to happen in late January or early February at the latest.

Now, for the goodies!

Sherwood Sprite-o-Rama

Our Sherwood love interests (minus DLC LI Layton, who is still in the sprite factory) are complete! Here's the gang!

(Bonus!  A nice look at Marion's Sherwood sprite.)

A very nice glow-up for all of them, methinks. Robin and Will have two major poses now... Will has his crossed arms pose, but also the less petulant pose you see above. Robin has his hands-on-hips pose and also a more conversational one. John just has his main pose, but he has a really cool new outfit that you'll see in the endgame. And of course there are the combat poses. I'm particularly fond of Will's.

This may be the last thing a ne'er-do-well in Nottingham's back allies sees. Yes, Will has a less ostentatious outfit for skullduggery purposes.

Home, Sweet Home

We also now have variations of the Sherwood Cabin for all our love interests. You can get a glimpse of their personalities and interests if you take a good look.

Marion's cabin on a rainy afternoon.

Robin's cabin is largely devoted to fletching.

John's cabin at night. The lion figurine was carved by somebody we know.

Development Miscellany:

My main development tasks right now are writing Robin's route and re-coding the Sherwood common route with the new sprites. Our code assistant/consultant Shawna has been very generous with their time and helped me set up a very nice sprite coding system so that it won't be too terribly time-consuming to work with all the amazing expressions and poses that our new sprites have to offer.

I've also recorded the voiceover for our animated lore intro. It will be four minutes long, and you'll be able to skip it after you've seen it for the first time, even if you quit the prologue without saving your game (in fact, you can choose to skip most of the prologue after you've played it through once, though you might want to play it a couple times to see the alternate scenes you get for making various choices).

As you can see from Will's picture above, I've changed how sprites are named before you know their actual name. Originally I had them listed as "???", but while doing accessibility research I realized that's not friendly for readers who are using Ren'py's self voicing feature. So instead of ???, they will now be listed with some kind of description, such as "Bandit," until you learn their name.

That's it for 2021. What a year! Speaking in Avalon dialect, here's hoping we can get a handle on this rotted pandemic in 2022. See you then!

[random-french-girl]

Could you possibly do a goodfoe/shoni brotp? Thank you!!

Hi Anon!

Sorry it took me so long to do this! Since Toni and Shelby are canonically... not just friends, I’m gonna answer this brotp meme with some romantic stuff, obviously. Here you go!

What in-jokes do they have with each other?

There MUST be an inside joke involving lychees. When they all live together post canon and Shelby adds “lychees :P” to their grocery list on the fridge every time it’s Toni’s turn to go grocery shopping... the first time Toni takes a pic and sends it to the group chat with like eye emoji + fire emoji because she wants everyone to know she’s gonna get laid tonight but all that happens is that the other girls reply with various iteration of “oh you’re going to the store? can you pick up some chips” and “dont forget the milk”. Very disappointing. 

Are they the “I’ll pay this time if you pay next time”-type friends, or the “I’ll pay for my food and you’ll pay for yours”-type friends?

Oh they’re gonna fight about who pays Every Single Time, methinks. It’s not serious though, they’re just both stubborn and wanna treat their gf. Unless Toni’s like: “You should pay, actually. Hashtag reparations.”

Who’s more prone to pranking, or otherwise messing with, the other?

Shelby, 100%. Toni loves it.

How do they text/message each other? Proper punctuation and capital letters, egregious overuse of emojis, mostly in meme format…?

Lots of emojis (hearts... hearts everywhere...). Toni definitely sends memes. 

Do they exchange jokey birthday presents, or deeply thought-out and meaningful presents? Or both?

Thoughtful, probably? Although I don���t know if either of them are super gift-oriented. 

They go on a road trip together. Who drives, who picks the music, who’s in charge of snacks?

Shelby drives. Toni picks the music (non negotiable, she’s never giving that much power to Shelby ever again, she still has nightmares about having to listen to christian rock). They both pick snacks thinking of what the other would want most, so they end up with their favorite snacks even if they didn’t buy them themselves :’)

What do they think of each other’s family?

OH BOY. Toni thinks they’re the worst kind of homophobic & racist white christians, full offense :) Shelby’s probably... very protective of Toni when it comes to her mom, but also very supportive if Toni wants to reconnect with her? 

Do they have any nicknames for each other?

I guess “princess”, but only if Toni is angry at her, so I’m not sure that counts. Shelby starts calling her “baby” after like, a year of dating, which makes Toni’s brain explode. Martha thinks it’s both adorable and hilarious. 

Who’d be the first to try and patch things up if they had a fight?

Toni! 

One of their phones goes off in the middle of the night. Who’s calling whom, and why?

Toni would call her without regards for Shelby’s sleep schedule, yes. It’s because she loves their talks, and she misses her :’)

What’s their favourite funny story about something that happened to the two of them?

Hmmm. Toni probably LOVES telling the story of their first kiss. (”She couldn’t resist my raw sex appeal any longer...” “Toni, that’s not how it happened at all.”)

Would they do a joint cosplay? If so, who would they dress up as?

Oh, I can see Shelby convincing Toni to do a couple costume for Halloween, but only if Toni gets to look Really Cool. Cue Fatin taking pictures of them like the mom in Mean Girls. 

Do they have any TV shows that they watch together? Are there any shows they have wildly different opinions on?

Toni tries to get Shelby to watch detective/mystery shows with her, which doesn’t work. Shelby likes teen shows, but Toni’s not a fan of the drama. Eventually, Martha tells them to try Planet Earth and they love it! Very relaxing, ideal for cuddling, and they both love animals. 

Which one is the “fight me” friend and which one is the one who tries to keep the peace and prevent their friend from punching a total stranger?

Toni is the fight me one. Shelby is very good at keeping the peace, but also will not hesitate to cut a bitch if necessary - and she’s much more terrifying than Toni when it comes to it.

One of them comes up with an ill-advised but mostly harmless idea. Does the other one egg them on because they think it’ll be funny, or try and talk them out of it?

Shelby tries to talk Toni out of ill-advised ideas. With only mixed success. 

Who would win if they arm-wrestled?

Shelby, but only because Toni lets her win every time.

Who’s better at what type of video games, and how competitive are they when they play together?

Toni’s better, because she has a bit more experience. They’re actually VERY competitive. It’s insufferable to play with them.

One of them ends up in hospital for something serious but not life-threatening. What does the other bring along when they visit in order to cheer them up?

Shelby brings Toni so much chocolate. And candy. 

How huggy are they?

They both love hugs! Very physically affectionate in general, once they are fully comfortable with each other.

What was the moment when they first realized that they’d become friends?

Hmm. Complicated question in canon, tbh. I think Toni probably realizes there’s more to Shelby than what she thought in episode 7 - that’s when she makes an effort to be nice and comfort Shelby after Leah goes on her lil rant. This might also be the moment for Shelby, actually? It’s their first real conversation after all, the first time they actually connect and share stuff about themselves. 

[artofdying1970]

what do you think each of the bugs would wear in the met gala

THIS IS SUCH A FUN ASK THANK YOU

this year's theme was boring asf so i'll just kinda go off the rails if you don't mind . they're british what do they know about american fashion

also i wasn't thinking about a specific time frame for this but if i had to I'd say this scenario (??) takes places somewhere from 1967 onwards and the early post break-up days. when they peaked basically

ANOTHER THING: these aren't really consise outfit ideas, i'm honestly just brainstorming and throwing things at the wall seeing what sticks lol

john

realistically he'd go for the all white enemble or something pretentious like that but in this alternative universe he'd go more whoreish because i want him to. he'd wear something like this in an ideal, albeit a tad cursed but still significantly pleasant world

i was also thinking of something using fur? which sounds weird i'm aware but consider it. don't know if he should go for the trim from the first pic or the full-on coat from the second but either way, would love to see it incorporated in some way

accessory wise i feel like he'd do something wacky and uncharacteristic with his glasses i mean he has to right ??? to take a page out of elton's book would work here methinks

paul

you see, at first i was thinking paul would be on either the worst-dressed or the best-dressed list, no in-between. but after giving it some thought i think he served some pretty sweet looks the met gala bitches would gobble up. i've noticed he liked playing with different textures and patterns with tons of layering, so maybe something like that?

i was also thinking of something like this if the gala ever did something along the lines of a royal theme?? maybe

or you could also go with something from the 70s from that time he wore jackets with nothing underneath (couldn't find photos for this but i know they exist trust me). one of the best decisions he's ever made career-wise imho

ringo

lots of color !! during this specific period he apparently really liked patterns (like the others) and was also a big fan of color-blocking or straight-up solid colored suits! the latter is the way to go imo. something like the suit from the get back tailer pictured below! maybe in a warmer color to really make his blue eyes pop :)

george

i saved this one for last because it was the one i was most excited about lol. I KNOW i just said i was going to ignore the theme but ??? it's impossible to talk about both george and american fashion without mentioning denim. picturing double denim, flared pants, platform shoes, and maybe some sort of necklace? very casual and kinda plain but you know he wouldn't have much cared for these sort of events + i'm sure he'd be able to pull it off </3

kinda what he did on the dick cavett show just a tad ""campier""

speaking of, either of these two could also work? i just love the combination of green and pink, it truly is elite and i think george looks so good in it !!

anyways . thanks for coming to my ted talk

[iamanartichoke]

So, remember that post I made like six months ago with gifs from the films of Loki having "nerves of steel," compared to a gif from the scene (in the trailer, at that point) where he jumps like ten feet when he finds himself in front of the dude with the stack of papers? Remember how I said "hmm seems like an ooc reaction" due to how sharply the latter reaction contrasted with the former ones? (I'd link but I don't feel like searching for it.)

Yeah. That post was MOSTLY A JOKE. It literally was just something I thought about and foolishly decided to share bc I thought it was funny. It was not that deep and I can't believe I even have to explain that.

(cut for length)

I'm bringing this up bc I was reading the notes on one of the survey posts going around; one user basically reblogged just to shit on it (I guess it was easier to hop on the post and aggressively tear them down instead of just ... not taking the survey?) and then talked about how much antis hate everything, and how one of our "hot takes" was that Loki was "ooc because he flinched" & "these are the types of people we're dealing with - toxic antis with shit opinions., can you believe"

And I just. I'm so, like, baffled. I know for a fact that more than this one person thought I was being 100% serious with my "hot take" and it's just like, jfc, I literally don't know how to process that apparently my opinions on Loki, his characterization, and his show in general can be summarized with "he's ooc cause he flinched that one time; source: a bunch of gifs" like???? And then to say I'm a Loki anti; like, yes, I'm such a fucking anti-Loki person over here with my Loki obsessed fan blog. Amazing. For all their talk of "antis" not understanding nuance and subtlety, they sure do take everything at face value and make sweeping generalizations, don't they.

I debated even posting this, bc nothing says "uh it was a joke!" like a multi-paragraph rebuttal - thou dost protest too much, methinks, and everything - but it honestly isn't even about the stupid post. It's just that this is an example of how fucking toxic this entire fandom has gotten and I am 500% done. You literally can't win. You criticize the show, you're an anti. You criticize it a lot, and you're probably mentally ill, too. You praise the show, and you find yourself pulled into a "but wasn't it just so brilliant though?" circle-jerk by way of reblogs. You try to have discussions about several aspects of the show, both what you liked and what you didn't, and you get told you're not being impartial enough bc your opinion is rooted in fanon. And regardless of who you're talking to or interacting with on the regular, you're in an echo chamber.

So finally you try to not state too much of an opinion either way and just mind your own business. Try to just enjoy yourself by staying out of the wank and avoiding having your posts spread around and taken out of context. And what happens? The wank finds you anyway. A six month old post comes back to haunt you. You can be reading a post you've not interacted with in any way, and still come away from it having been slapped in the face with some back-handed callout from someone you literally didn't even know existed before this. And just.

What the actual fuck, you guys. Come on.

It's nearly impossible to enjoy yourself anymore. I haven't felt comfortable posting my thoughts/opinions for quite awhile now, and apparently I can't even post humor, either. I furthermore don't feel comfortable knowing there are people in this fandom who are taking people's posts and using them to make Statements about that person's mental health. Or - I saw this very recently - just taking screenshots and mocking their opinions. (I don't care if it's the worst take in the world - what in the fuck makes you think you have the right to screenshot it and trash it? Mind your own business! Jesus! Who raised you?)

Just. I'm tired of it. I don't like not knowing who, actually, is reading my posts or why they're viewing my blog. It's upsetting to me and I've been upset for a long time and this was just the icing on the cake. And yknow what, I'm half afraid to even post this bc, again, I have no idea who's reading or who's going to vaguepost about me as a result. It is absolutely ridiculous.

[qqueenofhades]

If Cursed had asked you, a medieval historian, what to do, what would you have told them?

Ahaha. Ahaha. Hah. Full disclosure, I know/knew absolutely nothing about the show apart from reading this horrible article, but methinks, enough to get a sense of it. And even without the author of this article wildly making up their Blackadder version of history (as my dearest and oh so correct @oldshrewsburyian​ put it yesterday), the quotes from the actors/producers/etc are just... they are just.... SO BAD.

Starring:

"But when we got into filming and the brutality, the mud, the bugs and the blood, I thought, 'I'm not sure I could handle this in reality'.

"I have a feeling I'd get sick and die pretty quick."

"I'd be dead," adds Frank Miller, very matter of fact.

"I mean it was a time of wild plagues and disease and they didn't have much use for people who do the kind of stuff I do."

Ah yes, medieval life. Mud, blood, bugs, and death. “Times of wild plague and disease,” unlike today, where we never have a problem with plague at all. And I’m sorry, the medieval world had no use for artists??? What are you even SMOKING MY DUDE MY BRO MY PAL (and if you don’t know this, WHY ARE YOU MAKING A MEDIEVAL SHOW SUPPOSED TO BE “ACCURATE?”) Have you LOOKED at ONE SINGLE MEDIEVAL MANUSCRIPT? HAVE YOU WALKED INTO A MEDIEVAL CATHEDRAL AND LOOKED AT THE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS? LOOKED AT ANY JEWELRY? ANYTHING?????

(Okay I gotta pace myself, there’s a lot to yell at here and it’ll take a while.)

"If I was living in that time, I think I would want to be a witch but you would stink," Devon Terrell, who's taking on the role, laughs.

As would most people, with a lack of basic sanitation and plumbing which meant human waste was often thrown out close to where you lived.

"And I like a good fairy tale but I wouldn't say I was longing for a time that was much less scientific. I'd probably get killed for heresy or something. I'm not great with authority or religious oppression and that sort of stuff. So, yeah, I don't think I'd fare too well."

There’s just... I don’t know where to even.... /SCREAMS

(And I even cut out the especially face-palming quote from the article about “thousands of people burning for heresy” in the 11th/12th century. “Much less scientific,” well, Roger Bacon’s brazen head just called AND IT THINKS YOU’RE A MORON, DEVON.)

The woman playing Morgana Le Fay talks about your life being “very short” and getting drowned as a witch and whatever Bad Guy Du Jour talks about having no dentists or medical care. We get the picture: they.... really did not do their homework. I’m not sure they even touched Google. So basically, we’d need to start by burning everything down and then asking if really, truly, do we NEED to make this adaptation. There are EIGHT THOUSAND MILLION GODFORSAKEN RETELLINGS OF ARTHUR/THE ROUNDTABLE RIGHT NOW. NOBODY NEEDS ANOTHER ONE! EVEN FOR WHATEVER PSEUDO-FEMINIST TAKE YOU SEEM TO BE TRYING TO PUT ON THIS ONE! ENOUGH! ENOOOOUGH! THINK OF SOMETHING DIFFERENT! THERE ARE SO MANY MEDIEVAL ROMANCES OUT THERE THAT DON’T GET MADE!!!

For example, you know what I would suggest? Bisclavret. Where is my lavish beautifully designed historical-medieval-fantasy queer werewolf romance, I ask you? (Answer: just like that novel I stumbled upon yesterday that decided to make some random Vatican maidservant into Cesare Borgia’s ~truest and purest love~, y’all are too cowardly to do it right.) YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE THIS? THE GAYS! THE GAYS WOULD LOVE IT, PATRICIA! We have a central queer love story (Bisclavret and the king). We have a distinct physical and geographical setting (12th-century France). THE GODDAMN THING WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN! (Marie de France.) We could develop the character of Bisclavret’s wife and give her backstory and into a sympathetic and complicated but ultimately redeemed antiheroine, blackmailed by the male/patriarchal/heterosexual villains of the establishment, if y’all REALLY want to get into some subversive queerfem medievalism and not your little weaksauce Nimue in her polyester corset. We could LITERALLY MAKE A QUEER MEDIEVAL WEREWOLF ROMANCE WRITTEN BY A WOMAN!!! HOW ABOUT THAT YOU DINGDONGS?!!

You could decorate the sets beautifully by, I don’t know, LOOKING AT THOSE MEDIEVAL ARTISTS WHO SUPPOSEDLY DIDN’T EXIST. You could bring in other medieval monsters, such as walking corpses, and have brawny young men beating them to death with shovels (as various medieval chroniclers matter-of-factly report on). You could do something besides the TIRED ASS “superstitious peasants think woman with vague evidence of a personality must be a witch!!” You could ground your story in the vivid and colorful politics of 12th-century France and the underground queer life for people in Paris (MAKE PETER THE CHANTER THE FROLLO-ESQUE VILLAIN, I’M JUST SAYING!) EXPLORE THE METAPHOR OF QUEERNESS VIS A VIS MONSTROSITY WITH BISCLAVRET THE WEREWOLF! You could STOP ACTING LIKE GAME OF THRONES IS HISTORY AND “DIRTY PEOPLE IN TUNICS GETTING KILLED MEANS IT’S MEDIEVAL!!!”

/takes a deep breath

But alas. As established, they are Cowards. So, if we absolutely HAD to be lumbered with another goddamn Arthur adaptation:

STOP ACTING LIKE SOME RANDOM VAGUELY 12TH-CENTURY SETTING IS ~tHE hISToriCAl ArThUr!!~ IF HE EXISTED IT WAS IN LIKE 5TH-CENTURY POST ROMAN BRITAIN AND A) WE ALREADY HAD THE TEDIOUS BIG BUDGET “ACCURATE KING ARTHUR” WITH KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DRESSED IN WHATEVER THAT WAS, I’M GAY SO I’M NOT COMPLAINING THAT MUCH BUT ALSO ACCURATE MY CYNICAL LESBIAN BACKSIDE!

....where was I...

Ah yes. Post-Roman 5th-century Britain is A VERY DIFFERENT SETTING from the random-ass mishmash of “medieval” tropes you people seem to want to throw in. Or ANOTHER IDEA: junk the idea that “King Arthur” is ever going to be a remotely accurately represented historical concept, and just make it lavish, fantastic, magical, dark, and compelling without yoking yourself to the fuckin’ BORING ASS “must add mud and blood and suffering and misogyny for More Realism!” It’s FANTASY, TREAT IT LIKE FANTASY AND NOT HISTORY LIKE “A FAIRYTALE!” HOW ABOUT THAT IDEA?!?! AND MAYBE STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVE PRETENSIONS TO “tHe wAy it ReALLy wAs” because we have established YOU DO NOT!!!

(God Game of Thrones is the WORST, and you KNOW they’re doing this trying to be GoT-lite, and I.... /mutters incoherently)

OR MAKE ANY OTHER OF THE ARTHURIAN ROMANCES IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO A CAMELOT STORY! THERE ARE LIKE EIGHTY MILLION OF THEM! PICK A SIDE ONE WITH CHARACTERS THAT YOU CAN DO FRESH RATHER THAN THE ARCHETYPES THAT HAVE BEEN DONE TO DEATH!!! ACTUALLY ASK A MEDIEVAL LITERATURE EXPERT AND A MEDIEVAL HISTORIAN FOR ADVICE BEFORE YOU GET THIS FAR AND EMBARRASS YOURSELVES!!! (OR MAYBE SEVERAL OF THEM!!) ACTUALLY ACT LIKE REPRESENTING THE PAST AS A FULL AND COMPLEX AND BEAUTIFUL PLACE AS WELL AS A DARK AND DANGEROUS ONE CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR STORY AND DISPLAY HUMAN EXPERIENCE MORE ACCURATELY! RATHER THAN “HURR DURR DARK AGES” BECAUSE I AM TIRED!!!

TIRED!!!!

...Anyway. I clearly handled this well. Whew.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise, Part I: The Top 5 Best Things

SPOILERS FOR LATE MALJARDIN AND BOTH DESMOND HALL ARCS

Hello and welcome again to my Garden of Evil, where this week I’m doing something a little different. Episode 44 having marked the departure of co-creator and original headwriter Ian Martin, we have officially reached the end of an era of Strange Paradise history. No longer will discussions and speculation on Martin’s authorial intent be relevant to the happenings on this show (although I will continue to give my thoughts on the Lost Episode summaries), now that Bob Costello is running the show with a different authorial intent.

Ian Martin’s episodes contrast with the second half of Maljardin in many ways. The pace is slower, the structure and characterizations more like those of a standard soap, and the tone at times borders on comedy. He also appears to have put more thought into the characters’ backstories than any of the other writers, much of which he never got the chance to show on screen. Moreover, of all the show’s writers, he seems to have put the most of his own heart and soul into it, if the death of his first wife six years earlier and his reuse of elements from the series in his later works are any indication.

That brings me to my plans for this week in my Garden of Evil. Before moving on to review Episode 45, I will post my final thoughts on his episodes, first listing what I consider the top five best things about his period headwriting the show. Next, I will make another of the top five worst things about the first 8.8 weeks of Maljardin (because no creative work is perfect). So without further ado, here are (in my not-so-humble opinion) the top five best things about Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise:

5. Clever, memorable dialogue and (sometimes) clever wordplay 

I say “sometimes,” because (as we all know) Jacques loves his puns and Devil jokes, which tend to be as cornball as they come. The (intentional) humor in Ian Martin’s dialogue tends to be hit or miss, but when it hits, it hits harder than the chandelier hit the séance table. Even when the jokes miss, it’s clear that he tried hard to make the show both funny and scary, and some of the worse ones still amuse me in a dad-joke sort of way.

Some jokes from SP that I find genuinely funny:

Jacques: “‘Prisoners’ is such a harsh word, Alison. Now, actually, I prefer the [terminology] ‘detained guests.’“ (Episode 14)

Alison: “I find you and everything you’ve done distasteful and revolting." Jacques: "Methinks the lady doth detest too much." (same)

"I wish my mother was on canvas instead of always on my back.” (Holly, Episode 18)

Dan: "Knowing how much you loved Erica, I can appreciate your display of courage." Jacques: "It was either that or letting myself go to the Devil!" (same)

Jacques: “Such a delightful bedside manner. Why not let her operate?” (Episode 21)

Jacques: “If your room is a prison cell and you are a prisoner, well, I invite you to your last hearty meal.” (same)

Holly: "Would you like to see my scars?" Jacques: "Well, lead us not into temptation...now, that isn't from Shakespeare, is it?" (Episode 25)

Elizabeth: “It seems to be your opportunity to entertain, Reverend. May I suggest Song of Solomon?” (Episode 40)

Also, some things that aren’t jokes per se, but still clever wordplay:

Matt’s name, a reference to the Tarot card The Fool, or Le Mat in French.

Jacques: "Well, Dan, are you going to join me in some kippers this morning, or haven't you finished fishing for the day?" Dan: "Just lowering the line, and I'm afraid you're going to get hooked." (Episode 26)

The whole kippers thing from the same episode.

The scene transition lines.

Two things that Curt pointed out to me a while back: the recurring “little bird” motif and the fact that Jacques, who was “shackled to the Temple” for three centuries was also shackled through the temples with the silver pin. (Thanks!)

Of the later writers, Cornelius Crane (who will write the last two weeks of Maljardin and most of Desmond Hall Arc I) will be the only other to consistently use humor in his SP scripts. His will be a different style of humor, lighter on wordplay and heavier on wit, satire, and snark between characters, in many ways reminiscent of my favorite Dark Shadows writer Violet Welles. While the style of humor in Crane’s episodes has generally aged better, I can’t deny the cleverness and charm in the lines quoted above.

4. A more complex story than later arcs

Compared to all other arcs of the show, early Maljardin has, by far, the most subplots. You have (1) the main plot that revolves around Jean Paul’s attempts to preserve and resurrect Erica, which leads to his desperate attempts to protect the cryonics capsule, Jacques’ freedom and repeated possessions, and Raxl and Quito’s search for the conjure doll and silver pin. Directly connected to this are (2) Jacques’ murder of Dr. Menkin, (3) Alison and Dan’s search for the true cause of Erica’s death and for Dr. Menkin’s missing notes, and (4) the love triangle/square between Dan, Alison, and Jean Paul/Jacques. Then you have the four interconnected plots directly involving Holly, including (5) her romantic pursuit by Matt, Tim, Jacques, and Quito; (6) her conflicts with Elizabeth including direct competition over Jean Paul/Jacques; (7) her torment by Erica’s spirit; and (8) Tim’s subplot about the damned Holly portrait. Then there are (9) the saga of the missing cyanide and (10) the guests’ resistance to Jean Paul’s imprisonment of them on the island. In addition to these, we have (11) the history of Jacques, which may have included innumerable subplots of its own had Ian Martin been allowed to explore it thoroughly. We know that Jacques’ pursuit of Alison and Elizabeth would have connected to this, given their previous incarnations as Rahua and Tarasca, and that Martin originally planned for Tarasca to have her own storyline. If we include the aborted arc about Elizabeth’s possession by Tarasca, that would have made a whopping twelve subplots(!), unless I’m forgetting about something.

For comparison, here are the major subplots from Desmond Hall, during the period when Cornelius Crane did most of the writing: (1) Jean Paul’s possession by the Mark of Death; (2) the coven’s schemes to undermine the Desmond family, which led to the disappearance of Philip Desmond; (3) the Evil Serpent plotline; (4) the Hamlet subplot involving Cort’s conflicts with his mother and dear stepfather; (5) the love triangle of Cort, Holly, and Philip’s ghost; (6) the second love triangle of Ada, Laslo, and Irene; (7) all of Jean Paul’s romantic entanglements; and (8) the attempted possession of his fiancée Helena by Erica. That’s still a lot of intersecting plots, but not quite as many as in early Maljardin.

I know I’ve complained in the past about the recap that makes up about half the dialogue in early Maljardin, but the sheer number of plots may have required it to ensure that returning viewers remembered everything and new viewers weren’t completely lost. I don’t have to like the constant recap, but I must admit that it was probably necessary even for the fans who managed to catch every episode during its original run.

3. Stronger characterizations than under the writers of late Maljardin

Like a traditional soap opera, the first half of the Maljardin arc is character-driven. Most important plot points occur on Mondays and Fridays, leaving the mid-week episodes for (mostly) minor plot points, subplots, and character development. We see Alison’s relationship with Jean Paul evolve from friendly in-laws to potential lovers, only for her to tire of his constant mood changes and withdraw from him. We see Reverend Matt Dawson’s crisis of faith, from his stalking Holly out of an allegedly spiritual love to his questioning his disbelief in demons while trapped on Maljardin. We see Dan lose all respect for Jean Paul as he becomes convinced that his employer murdered Erica and Dr. Menkin. We also see Jean Paul grow increasingly volatile even when Jacques isn’t possessing him, making his prisoners try harder to escape and creating a vicious cycle of repression and paranoia on the island.

After Robert Costello becomes producer, the arc shifts to a more plot-driven narrative. In a span of just four weeks, Erica will be resurrected and proceed to murder most of the characters. Character development will lose its importance in late Maljardin, and the characters of Elizabeth and Holly (and later Jean Paul) will become almost unrecognizable. Although Cornelius Crane was a competent writer who gave strong characterizations to the characters he created, he makes it clear that he didn’t care much for Martin’s creations through how quickly he kills off most of them and alters the personalities of two of the ones left.

2. Actual research

This one is most noticeable in two areas: the scientific subjects discussed and the way that Martin uses the Tarot. Before writing for SP, he worked on The Doctors and The Nurses, both early medical dramas with soap opera elements. Little survives from either The Nurses or the 1960s era of The Doctors[1], but one can imagine that he got into the habit of researching medical topics then--perhaps not including subjects as far-out as cryonics, but maybe some of the others discussed on SP like cellular reconstruction, organ transplants, and eclampsia. Here on SP, he’s referenced specific scientific studies, including Miroslava Pavlović’s study of brain transplants in quail embryos, Kenneth B. Wolfe’s “Effects of Hypothermia on Cerebral Damage Resulting from Cardiac Arrest,” and--most fascinating of all--W. Grey Walter’s robotics article “An Imitation of Life,” whose potential significance to Erica’s backstory I discussed in the final part of my Shadow Over Seventh Heaven review series.

His penchant for research becomes even more obvious when we explore his use of the Tarot and compare it to the way the cards were used on the show’s inspiration Dark Shadows. Despite also having done research on various occult matters--the most obscure being the use of I Ching wands for time travel[2]--DS’s writers were notably lazy in their use of Tarot symbolism, sticking mostly to the Major Arcana, often interpreting their names literally, and using the Tower of Destruction so often that one would think that copies of the Tower comprised half the deck. Not so on SP. Although he did have tarot reader Vangie Abbott use Death literally in Episode 7, and he does portray the Nine of Swords as “the card of death” when it typically means nightmares, suffering because of loss, and inner torment, his use of the Tarot typically shows careful research into the meanings of mostly cards from the Minor Arcana (the suits of wands, cups, swords, and pentacles). He uses it both as a means of giving character profiles and for foreshadowing, although the cards often foreshadow planned events that never took place because of script rewrites.

He did, however, take some artistic liberties with other subjects that he must have researched while writing the serial. I mean to write a detailed analysis someday comparing and contrasting the show’s portrayal of vodou with the reality, but I’m not satisfied with the scanty amount of research that I’ve done so far. I have already written about the Great Serpent and how Raxl appears to syncretize the loa Damballah with the Aztec feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl, but there are other related subjects I want to discuss someday in other posts. The short version: the “voodoo” portrayed on the show is a mixture of elements of genuine Afro-Caribbean religions (worship of a Serpent God, belief in zombies, use of drums in rituals, the titles “Conjure Man” and “Conjure Woman”) and traditional Mesoamerican religious practices (Quetzalcoatl, Aztec human sacrifice, Raxl’s mention of curanderos). The evidence suggests that he picked and chose elements from these traditions for Maljardin’s “Conjure Faith” in a way reminiscent of the real-life phenomenon of religious syncretism. While somewhat problematic, the obscurity of some of the things he picked and chose shows that he must have conducted some research even on these subjects.

1. The best Jacques

Jean Paul Desmond may be the protagonist, but, in the first seven weeks of the show, it’s his devilish ancestor Jacques who truly steals the show. From his evil laugh to his snarky commentary on the happenings on Maljardin to the hilarious and adorable expressions he makes as he plays with his detained guests, there’s no denying that Jacques is the star of Martin’s SP. When he’s absent, the whole show suffers from a lack of his mischief, not to mention that smile that stirs up desires in me that can never be righteously fulfilled. If there’s a Devil, I bet he resembles THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES in looks, voice, and demeanor--the better to seduce you with (and by you, I mean me). Horns and a pointy tail, after all, don’t tempt half as well as a beautiful black cape and Bissits Face™.

The Jacques of late Maljardin will be a far flatter character, more outwardly evil but less charming and consequently less entertaining. In Desmond Hall, his role will be reduced significantly and he will have very little dialogue, mostly just the same clip of his laughter repeated. He will have a few fun scenes in the second Desmond Hall arc, but the post-Martin Jacques is no devil, just an ordinary man with a slightly different personality, led over to the dark side. This is understandable--the thought of the supernatural embodiment of evil remaining imprisoned for three centuries is quite far-fetched, and Desmond Hall Arc II writer Harding Lemay wasn’t fond of all-evil characters[3]--but I still find the original Jacquet the most fun by far.

That concludes this post on my favorite things about Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise. Stay tuned for my list of some things about his writing that needed improvement.

{ Next: The Top 5 Worst Things -> }

Notes

[1] The Thousand Oaks Library in Thousand Oaks, California has ten of Martin’s scripts from The Doctors from shortly after the series switched from its original experimental anthology format to a traditional continuing soap.

[2] The portrayal of the I Ching as a means of time travel on Dark Shadows almost certainly came from William Seabrook’s book Witchcraft: Its Power in the World Today, where he describes the 49th ko hexagram’s use in a form of past-life regression in New York magick circles in the early 20th century. See Seabrook, “Werewolf in Washington Square,” Witchcraft (New York: Ishi Press, 2015), pp. 164-175.

[3] Harding Lemay, Eight Years in Another World, chap. 3, Kindle edition. In this chapter, Lemay discusses his conflicts with Irna Phillips, the creator of Another World, over how to portray soap opera characters. According to him, Phillips believed that characters should be depicted as either “Saints” or “Sinners,” the only permitted nuance being that female Sinners had to love their children if they had any. Lemay disagreed with such black-and-white characterizations, finding them unrealistic, and made the serial’s characters more morally gray.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey steph! for the nonny who was talking about the johnlock/mystrade cruise fic, i think it’s worst kept secrets by sherlock1110 and sherlockian4evr? i hope you’re having a good day and taking care of yourself because you’re important and valued and loved - don’t forget that :D -🐢

(referencing this post)

Hi Nonny!!

YES!!! The fic was found, and I added the fic onto the final reblog which will happen in a month or so, LOL. XD

Here it is right now, in the meantime, LOL:

Worst Kept Secrets by Sherlock1110 and sherlockian4evr (M, 61,515+w., 8/? Ch. || WiP || Engagement, Coming Out, Angst and Feels, Homophobia, Idiots in Love, Big Brother Mycroft, Fluff, Scars, Weddings, Honeymoon, Playing Pirates, Parasailing, Archaeology, Paintball, Swimming, Golf) – For the prompt: What if the thing Mycroft did to upset Mummy... was to come out? What if, as a teenager, Mycroft decided to tell his family that he is gay, and his parents disowned him for it? It's okay now, he runs the British Government, he IS the British Government, but there's still that tiny part of him that wants his parent's acceptance, especially now he's found the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Part 4 of the Sherlock and Mycroft Fluff series

And thank you so much for your kind words <3 <3 Oh gosh, you’re too nice! Love you Nonny!!! Thank you!! :D

--------

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hey Steph! This is for the nonny who was talking about that cruise fic the other day. I can’t remember the name of it, but it was definitely part of a series, where one fic was the Holmes boys trying to deal with IKEA furniture. Thanks for being a major bright spot in my life right now- I appreciate youu :P

----

Ahhh, Nonny 2, I THINK you might be talking about the same fic as Nonny 1 is, so I’m pinning it to this one LOL. I don’t know about the IKEA furniture thing, since I thought that was a recent fic hahah. But Methinks it’s this one here! THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH!!! And your kind words make me smile <3

[minaa-munch]

Did Minato suffer abuse during the war to make him turn out that way? Did Kushina?

Abuse hm? Ano, I’m no expert, and I can’t exactly speak for Kushina because I haven’t explored her character [feel free to ask @himekushinada and @fox-mother for this one] but I have a few theories where Minato is concerned. Brace thy browser, anon. 

Disclaimer: know that I am no authority on abuse - I know what I know with regards to the very little that I’ve read and the...people I’ve bugged [I owe a certain copy nin and a drunk blonde thingus enough cookies to fill our basket of ideas]. Moreover, this pertains to my interpretation of Flake Sensei. To each their own, ne?

Before I begin rambling, I’d like you to keep a few things in mind: Minato, along with the rest of his generation grew up in hostile times. They didn’t have the luxury of being soft and squishy for long, and their actions in the manga reflect the nuance. As such, what could be considered as ‘emotional abuse’ didn’t necessarily translate as abuse, and therefore, was hardly a priority. 

That being said, it depends on how you identify ‘abuse’ because back then, in the midst of wars and dwindling resources, a lot of things were swept under the rug as expectations. As the militia of Hi no Kuni, shinobi were expected to prioritise missions over sentiments, their client’s safety over their own and -- basically, murder because they were getting paid for it. 

With regards to Minato; I headcanon him being an orphan who had none sans a grandmother to rely on. He loses said grandmother when he graduates the academy, and the void left by her is eventually filled by Jiraiya sensei. Brief history lesson aside, his grounding isn’t as...stable as most other’s [and they aren’t stable themselves to begin with] - the problems associated with that manifest in his need to be perfect. Demo, since he was an asset to the village that way, ‘twas hardly a matter worth pondering on, ne? That’s a sort of neglect everyone faced. Not just him. 

ANYWAYS on to abuse. From what I’ve gleaned from the manga so far, there exists a few...possibilities of the sort of abuse he could have suffered during the wars. I’m going to tackle physical and emotional in a certain context because my limited reading covers those. If you’d like to talk about something specific, let me know. I love such discussions. 

Emotional: Already covered a bit of this earlier on, but I’ll elaborate a little. Konoha lost precious manpower in the form of generations prior to Minato due to the wars. As such, the pressure on his bunch to be able to fill certain...voids, be it in the form of military, or as part of the driving force of their economy. Hidden villages procured funds through missions/Daimyō’s assistance, ne? They probably had a lot of expectations riding on their shoulders, which means little room for friendly socialising important for cognitive growth and more ‘must be an asset rather than a liability’. 

For Minato in particular, he was quite keen on maintaining a certain... appearance because of his reputation as a genius born once every decade. He could not allow that to dull for any reason, and went to certain lengths in order to achieve it. You can tell because of how quickly he became Hokage; charm, skill and all. As his generation’s new ‘legendary’, he was supposed to appear invincible and he kinda did, didn’t he? This is further enunciated by the fact that when he became Yondaime, the ‘legendaries’ of the previous generation, i.e., Densetsu Sanin had flown the coop - and don’t forget the Daimyō approved of Jiraiya [a major reason why he approved of Minato’s ascension as Yondaime, by the by - and this is besides the overwhelming Jōnin vote]. The system needed their sparkly new hope and he was it; the youngest Hokage in history with a Jinchuriki wife [-shoves conspiracy no jutsu in a closet-] 

Oh, and PTSD? Given the wars, every shinobi suffered from it in one way or form [it’s a given - enough to be considered a ‘norm’]. Minato does too, but his sparkles are very distracting. Gives the allusion that he actually cares, ne? Given the background I consider for him, there are very little things he truly cares about. He will use an individual if he has to. [Kakashi was his Jinchuriki wife’s bodyguard - the same Kakashi who only had Minato left in the world, and a sharingan that could potentially control a biju if the need so arose. Creative speculation, ne? I need to explore this conspiracy some time] 

Random note: There’s this nice little resource shared by the amazing ultimumspes on writing PTSD. Your question reminded me of it, and the writer and I thought I’d place it here in case anyone would like to consider it. _ 

Physical: As a reputed genius, Minato had a certain image that was often blown out of proportion by rumours and the fact that he was an apprentice to Jiraiya of the Sanin. Couple that with breaking Hiruzen’s record at the ninja academy, and you have a scary ninja child you don’t want to mess with. However, considering the incessant need for maintaining honour/dominance and the thread of - excuse my French - consistent male ego in the manga, it’s very possible that a fellow cadet could have challenged him at an outpost in order to test their own mettle, or establish a certain hierarchy over a scrawny little midget who suddenly thought of himself as good enough to participate in the war [whereas there are people who have been posted at the same outpost since forever]. 

Traditional Shinobi Sparring [Dentōteki no Shinobi Kumite] was a thing, ne? War brings out the worst in people, and with dwindling resources and massacred forces [the Densetsu Sanin’s generation and the ones before that], it’s unrealistic to imagine that everyone would still be all...fuzzy wuzzy with each other. Likewise, it is in the realm of possibility to suggest that Minato probably lost a match or two [not more, mind. Ego gotta come from somewhere]. Said losses, coupled with subsequent experiences in the Second Shinobi War, were probably enough to not only fuel his paranoia, but also to justify the lengths he has gone to with regards to evolving his fighting style so that he would be unbeatable. 

Attack regardless of the opponent being ready? Yep. Kill for sheer numbers? Absolutely. Steal intel/ninjutsu/informative scrolls from other territories if he found them interesting enough? You bet. Theirs wasn’t a profession or a system that fostered honourable means, despite Sakumo’s example persisting otherwise [Honour is more of a samurai thing, methinks]. A shinobi must look underneath the underneath and Minato dug deep. You can imagine a lot of characters from his generation went down similar routes - theirs is an interesting little rabbit hole one could explore for ages. Minato simply happened to be a lot sneakier.  

At the end of the day, you could say ‘abuse’ played a part...demo, but as much for him as it did for others. All of them suffered but said nuances didn’t register as ‘abuse’ because for them, it was probably the norm. Thinking along those lines, I can’t help but imagine that kunoichi - especially the foreign sort such as Kushina, or the common, non-special-clan-affiliated sort such as Anko [maybe?] - probably had it a lot worse. 

I digress. Hope this answered your question. Ano, unless by ‘that way’ you were referring to the heartless thingus I tend to write at times - that’s been explored here. 

[andipxndy-writes]

The Triplets - Rick & Laura

[[Oh my gosh it’s been 5ever since I’ve actually posted anything on any of my blogs on this site. But here I am, back because my muses decided to pop up!

Anyway, I wrote a thing! Basically, in my procrastination, I’ve been reading through a bunch of old threads, and I got really sucked into my threads with @a-simple-rper and fell in love with these characters and their relationships and... well, basically, I was so inspired that this thing got done in, like, a day and a half. Which is probably a new record for me, considering I’ve actually edited through this thing more than once (I never go back and edit, lol) and it’s more than 5.5k words. I’m actually very proud of myself.

So here’s my cute thing! Edited to completion, methinks. Enjoy!]]

The Triplets

When Rick had woken up that morning, he hadn’t known what to expect. Well, he kind of did – Laura in bed beside him, the light of the sun rising filtering through the curtains, a day filled with work ahead of him.

What he did not expect was to wake up to an empty bed, the bedroom door wide open. He frowned as he sat up, stretching and yawning before heading towards the door and out into the corridor. That was strange… Laura usually woke up after he did.

His unasked question of where exactly his girlfriend was, was answered by the sounds of retching coming from the bathroom. His brows furrowed even more at that – Laura hadn’t been drinking last night, so why was she sick? Did she eat something bad? As far as he knew, nothing had been out of the ordinary.

Approaching the door, he knocked on it. “Laura? You in there?”

There were a few seconds of silence, before Rick heard the feeble “yes,” that he knew could only come from his partner. Which was less than comforting.

“What’s wrong? Did you eat something bad last night?” Getting straight to the point was Rick’s favourite mode of action, and he felt that it was definitely important to use right now, considering she didn’t sound all that great.

“N-no…”

Rick waited silently to see if she would elaborate, but when she didn’t say anything further he sighed. This didn’t make sense. Why was Laura sick?

It seemed as if Laura could sense Rick’s struggle on the other side of the door, so she called out, “Door’s open.”

Rick barely hesitated before pushing the door open, trying not to appear too worried as he did so. He wasn’t surprised to see Laura leaned against the toilet, head resting on her arm on the seat. What did surprise him was the weak, tired smile she gave him.

“How long have you been here?” he asked slowly as he moved to sit beside her, rubbing her back. Weird thing was, she didn’t feel that clammy, or hot, so she couldn’t have been ill…

“A couple hours,” she replied, her voice croaky. “It’s been mostly up and down. I feel good for a few minutes and have a glass of water, then I throw it all up again. It sucks. And dry heaving is the worst part.”

Rick frowned deeply at that, the usual slight amount of concern breaking through his normally stoic expression.

“This isn’t the first time it’s happened.”

“What?” He hadn’t been expecting that either. Laura was always in bed when he woke up – he hadn’t noticed her being away first thing in the morning until today.

She nodded. “Yeah. It’s just a little worse today…”

“Do we need to go to a doctor about it?”

She appeared to contemplate the decision, before the small smile appeared on her face. “No need. Though, you might want to grab your phone.”

His eyebrows rose at that, and he waited for her to elaborate, hoping that she’d actually do so this time.

That was when she picked up something that had been sat on top of the toilet cistern and held it up for him to see, and it took him less than a second to realise what it was.

A pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test.

“You might want to call your ma about this one. Because it looks like we’re getting a second chance.”

“And how are you today, Ms. Banks?”

Laura shifted slightly on the bed, looking away from the ultrasound scanner and up at the sonographer. “I’m alright, I guess.”

Honestly, though? She was very nervous, and even Rick could see that on her face. The last time they’d been in this situation, it hadn’t turned out well at all – they’d finally got their hopes up, only for it to be ripped away from them for some reason or other. She was scared of it happening again.

Heck, even Rick was scared of it happening again.

This was their second chance, and they didn’t want it to be ripped away from them like before. They were being extra careful now, doing everything the midwife and the doctor had suggested, making sure there was no room for a single thing to go wrong.

The doctor nodded, smiling comfortingly at the couple. “That’s good, that’s good.” She stopped typing at the computer to face the couple fully. “Now, as you know, we recommended you come in earlier than most just to make sure everything’s alright with this pregnancy, considering what happened in the last one. We’ll be asking some more questions, and keeping a closer eye on you too, just to make sure this one goes smoothly. That sound good to you both?”

The pair nodded, and Laura took Rick’s hand, squeezing it lightly.

The sonographer nodded once. “Good. Now, as we’re having an early scan, we’re going to be doing it vaginally, just so we can see everything. Is that alright with you? It requires a bit more prep than just lifting your shirt, and could take a fair bit longer, but we’ll be able to see more and make sure your baby is healthy.”

After Laura nodded her consent, she headed off to the bathroom to prepare for the scan, lying on the bed awkwardly when she was done. She glanced up at Rick, who (for some reason or other) was looking away.

“If you’re doing that to give me some decency, I’d like to remind you of what position I was in for me to end up here in the first place.”

He turned back to her with a slight smirk. “Are you sure it was this one? I’m pretty sure it was another.”

“Are we really going to have to recall back to that night?”

“I think we can do that.”

“Maybe later,” the sonographer interjected casually, causing Laura to blush. Rick coughed slightly to cover up his laugh.

The couple’s eyes were focused on the ultrasound screen as the probe was moved about, getting the necessary image. It took a good few minutes of staring at seemingly nothing, but then the sonographer spoke.

“Aha! Here we go.” She pointed at the screen. “So, here’s your uterus, and that right there… right there, is the foetus.” After a bit more movement on the screen, she paused. “Hang on…”

Rick and Laura frowned at each other, before looking at the doctor.

“Is something wrong?” Laura asked, and she found her hand in Rick’s again, squeezing it. She didn’t want anything to go wrong. It couldn’t be happening again. They’d barely even started…

She found her heart rate decreasing when Rick squeezed back, getting rid of the fear caused by the doctor’s silence.

The doctor didn’t answer for a little while, seemingly focusing on the screen, before she eventually let out a laugh. “Well, you two are in for a real treat.”

Laura blinked at the sudden change in atmosphere. “What?”

The doctor moved the probe again, before turning to the screen. “Right, so here we have a fetus…” She pointed to another position on the screen. “And we have fetus number two…”

“Oh God…” Rick muttered.

“And fetus number three, kind of separate from the other two but still very much present.”

Laura’s jaw hung open, her eyes wide. “Are you… are you serious?”

The doctor nodded, a smile on her face. “Congratulations, you two. You’re having triplets.”

Laura sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror, standing sideways. She’d long since given up on wearing her usual skinny jeans and tight shirts, since she pretty much popped right out of them, but she wasn’t exactly sure how good she looked in the winter dress Kat had bought her. She was big, yes, but this just made her look huge.

“Are you coming down?”

Laura looked over at the door to see Rick stood there, in a shirt and jeans himself. She turned back to the mirror with a sigh. “I will…”

“Our parents are waiting.”

“Our moms are probably just chatting it up whilst our dads just sit there.”

“If you’re here much longer, Sam will be forced to entertain.”

Laura winced. They both knew how much her dad loved Sam.

Then again, her father didn’t know that she was pregnant yet. Her mother knew, and so did Rick’s parents, but she most definitely knew what sort of reaction she’d get from her dad at this. Then again, he either found out now, or when she was literally about to pop.

“Is George here yet?”

“He’s entertaining the twins.”

“Is the turkey out of the oven?”

“Just as you instructed.”

“What about…?”

“It’s all ready, Laura.”

Laura was pleasantly surprised when she felt Rick’s arms around her, a kiss placed on the top of her head before he rested his on hers. She smiled and leaned back into him.

“He’s gonna be mad…”

Rick raised a single eyebrow at her in the mirror. “He’s fifteen weeks too late to complain.”

Laura smirked. “Well, that’s an attitude I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“It’s just the truth.”

She laughed, kissing what she could reach of his arm before patting his hands so that he let go. “Okay, okay. I’m ready.”

Rick let go of her, taking a few steps back and letting her walk past him to the door. Noticing how her back was straighter, how the way she walked was a lot more confident, he smiled a little.

That’s his Laura.

Lying in bed, arms wrapped around Laura as she leaned up against the headboard, Rick couldn’t imagine a better way to spend a Sunday morning – even if this whole situation was only happening because Laura had demanded it and hadn’t budged until he’d agreed.

Whilst he had his eyes closed, simply resting and enjoying the peace, Laura was reading a book she’d been given at the clinic, flipping through the chapter on 20 weeks. Reading through the various pieces of information, and looking through the various pictures on the pages, she scowled.

“I look like a whale.”

“Hmmm?” Rick opened his eyes when she spoke, looking up at her.

“I look like a whale,” she repeated, still scowling down at the book. “Look at all the women in these photos, Rick. They can probably reach their toes whilst sitting down.”

Rick blinked at her, though his face appeared as blank as ever. What had brought this on? “You’re pregnant with triplets.”

“And I’m a whale.”

“You’re not a whale. You’re pregnant. With three babies instead of one.”

“I feel huge.”

“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

When she glared at him, he sighed and decided to elaborate.

“You’ve got to be three times as big to fit them all. It’s fine. You’re fine. And beautiful.”

Her expression softened, and she blinked at what he said, blushing. The blush only got darker when he sat up and leaned over to kiss her softly. And then she gasped, pulling away suddenly with wide eyes.

He frowned, concern appearing on his features almost immediately. “What is it?” he asked, trying not to convey how concerned he was through his tone. Had he done something wrong?

“I think… I think I felt a kick.”

It took a few moments for what she said to fully register in Rick’s mind. And then, all of a sudden, it clicked.

A kick.

When Laura saw the small smile beginning to spread on his face, she took his hand and placed it where she’d felt the kick. She knew it was probably futile, feeling for a kick in the same place when the next kick could be anywhere, or not even be felt at all.

She was pleasantly surprised when there actually was a kick in the same place again, right against the palm of Rick’s hand. Looking at him, she didn’t bother stop the laugh coming out at the genuinely surprised expression on his face. Seeing expressions like that, clear on his face without any of his usual restraint, brought her a level of joy that very little could compare to.

Except, probably, the feel of their babies kicking for the first time.

When Rick had first met Laura’s family, it had been pretty awkward to be introduced as her boyfriend. Especially since he was not only much taller than her, but much older and a whole lot more Southern. He was quickly singled out as the odd one out in any family gathering, which he supposed he could deal with. After all, Laura still loved him, and it wasn’t as if her dad hated him for being in a relationship with his daughter, like he did Sam; though, her mother did seem to favour the other a whole lot more than him.

Finding out that she had more extended family, made up of her mother’s sisters and their children, was something Rick thought he would be able to handle. After all, the twins were nice. Their cousins couldn’t be that bad, could they?

He was proven wrong the moment Laura’s mother stepped into the bar with two women he’d never met before.

“Oh, what is that horrid smell?” the older woman asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste as she looked around the bar.

“Must be the drunkards,” the younger responded casually, her eyes focused on her nails. The response caused Jane to roll her eyes before approaching Rick at the bar, leaving the two women to disapprove of the place.

“Rick, how are you doing?”

“Well thanks, Jane.” He looked up from wiping down the counter. “Did you need Laura?”

“We’ll need her in a bit. Probably when Kat gets here.” The smile melted off her face. “As soon as she steps through that door, start us up on a tab. I’m going to need a drink or two to deal with them.”

He simply nodded, tossing the rag onto his shoulder. “I’ll go give her a heads up.”

“Thank you, Rick.”

He gave another nod before turning and heading into the kitchen. He wasn’t surprised to find Laura at the stove, whipping up the next order at a slower speed than usual. Granted, she wasn’t letting her rapidly expanding stomach get in the way of her cooking, but even he could tell that having three babies was draining her energy faster than usual, and reaching for anything below knee height was a struggle for her on a good day. She looked over at him when the door opened, smiling.

“Hey, Ricky, is everything okay?” she asked as she turned back to focus on what she was doing. Even if she looked huge at only 24 weeks, Rick still thought she looked as beautiful as ever.

“Your mom’s here.”

“Oh?” Laura turned to reach for a ladle, lowering the heat on the soup and beginning to spoon it into the waiting bowls. “Did she want something?”

“She’s here with two women.”

“Really?” She paused. “What did they look like?”

“Blonde, like you. She also said something about Kat joining you guys when she gets here.”

Laura was silent for a few moments, before swearing violently under her breath and leaning the ladle on the side of the pot. “Keep an eye on the soup for me,” she muttered as she waddled past him to the door, opening it a little and peeking out. As soon as she spotted her mother, she shut the door quickly and swore again, this time more loudly.

“That’s my aunt and cousin.”

Rick’s eyebrows rose.

“They don’t know I’m pregnant.”

Now Laura’s swearing made sense.

Rick pursed his lips a little as he tried to think of a solution to this. All of them involved Sam, and all outcomes were disastrous. “Do you need someone to stall?”

“My mom knows I’m in here. I’m stuck. Unless I can hide this.” She gestured to her bump.

“That’s 6 months of Rick’s hard work in there,” Sam chirped from the serving window as they approached to deliver orders on their trusty notepad, and take the completed ones to the waiting tables. “You can’t be hiding that.”

“I kind of need to right now.”

Sam blinked at her, before glancing over their shoulder towards the dreaded table. “Is this about the two ladies mom is sitting with? They gave me the stink eye when she introduced me.”

“What they said behind your back must’ve been ten times worse.” Laura groaned and ran a hand over her face.

Rick watched her closely. “Do you need to sit down? You’ve been standing for a while.”

“Probably…”

“Uh, I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not, but Kat just got here and mom is signalling to me to call you,” Sam muttered, a look of genuine sympathy for Laura on their face. “You want me to stall for you?”

Laura sighed, running a hand through her hair and pushing it back before shaking her head. “No, I’ll… I’ll head over.”

Rick nodded, nearing her and kissing her softly. “You’ll be fine. I’m here if you need.”

“That soup is burning.”

He quickly turned to switch it off, causing Laura to laugh as she turned towards the door. Taking a deep breath, she made her way slowly out of the kitchen and towards the table her mother was sat at. Luckily she was approaching from behind her aunt and cousin, facing her mother. She looked incredibly nervous as she reached the table. “Hey, mom, Kat.”

She should’ve expected the scathing comments that were coming.

“Oh, that bastard doorman knocked you up too?” Lara sneered. “I told you, mom, it’s a harem in here.”

Laura spoke before Kat could spit something angrily from where she sat. She could’ve seen the anger boiling from a mile away. “No. I’m dating the barman.”

Lara’s eyes widened. “You mean, that mammoth?”

Her aunt sneered. “Look at you both, having children out of wedlock like heathens. I would’ve thought you taught them better, Jane. This stupidity must come from your husband.”

Jane glared at her sister. “Now, don’t you start, Elizabeth.”

Before anything else could be said, Sam approached the table, the first drinks of the tab on a tray. “Ladies,” they greeted, with their usual grin. When they noticed Laura was standing, though, they frowned. “Laura, you shouldn’t be standing.”

“Oh, and you have an idea on what she should be doing?” Elizabeth asked snarkily, almost glaring at Sam.

They bristled at her tone, but a look from Jane ensured that they said nothing as they placed down the drinks that had been requested earlier, sending Laura and Kat smiles as they left.

As soon as they were gone, Lara scoffed. “What a fool. I cannot believe Katherine stooped to that level. And had little bastards with him.”

Laura had barely blinked before Kat snapped and punched Lara in the face, hard. “Don’t you ever insult Sam or call my children bastards again, you bitch. Otherwise that punch will feel like a tickle compared to what I’ll do to you.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened as Lara reeled back on her chair, screeching and holding her bloody nose. “Katherine!”

“Oh, don’t you start,” Laura sneered, pulling out a chair and sitting down without invitation – her back ached like hell. “I can’t deal with your whining.”

“How dare you speak to me in that manner!”

Before Laura could reply in a sarcastic manner worthy of Allie in one of her annoying moods, her mother spoke. “I think, perhaps, it’s time you took your child and left, Elizabeth,” Jane stated calmly, though the expression on her face was steely and dark. “And you can show yourself out.”

Elizabeth glared at her sister. “If you think that I am lowly enough to be forced to follow your instructions—”

“Is there a problem here, ma’am?”

All five ladies looked up to see Rick stood by the table, drying a glass in his hands with the usual stony expression on his face. Though, Laura could see the anger hidden behind his eyes. And apparently, so could everyone else.

His appearance was all Elizabeth and Lara needed to get out of there, both of them grabbing their bags and walking hurriedly towards the door without looking back. As soon as they were gone, Rick focused on Laura, his eyes softening and his expression concerned.

“Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” Laura responded, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself (and the agitated flutterings of the babies growing inside her) down. “Just need to rest a bit.”

Jane looked guilty as she leaned on the table. “I’d originally come to check on you both before those two decided to tag along… without my consent.” She sent Laura an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“No, it’s fine, mom. Besides,” Laura grinned at her twin, “I finally got to see the results of Sam’s boxing lessons.”

Kat grinned as she cracked her knuckles. “Oh, sweetie, that was only the beginning.”

Rick gave a small smile as he headed back to the bar, the three women laughing behind him.

If there was one thing Rick hated more than looking ridiculous, it was looking ridiculous in front of other people.

Still, for the sake of his girlfriend and their babies, he sat quietly in the lesson, Laura between his legs and leaning back on him, all four of their hands resting on her now very large bump. Today happened to be a lesson on breathing exercises – and Rick wasn’t sure whether he was looking forward to it.

“Right, now I want you to relax into your partner – think calming thoughts as you slowly breathe out… then in…”

Rick’s hands remained on the bump as Laura leaned back into his torso, her eyes closed as she focused on her breathing.

“Remember, start with a slow breath out to relax your muscles… and think calming thoughts… the stress will only make the pain worse…”

“Did Sam and Kat have to do these…?” Rick asked Laura lowly, leaning down so that only she could hear him.

“If they didn’t, would you make us leave?” Laura muttered back in retaliation.

Rick just rubbed her stomach comfortingly, smiling a little when he felt a couple of kicks. “I’m just saying… they’re pretty uneventful.”

Laura opened her eyes and looked up at him. “What kinds of things were you expecting to do?”

“Stress will make the pain worse, so imagine the stress leaving your body as you breathe out…”

“I don’t know, but maybe something more than breathing exercises…” Rick responded.

Laura scoffed. “Last week you were bouncing the birthing ball like a basketball and commented on all the stupid stuff Sam would do with it if they found it in the bar…”

There was a loud clearing of a throat, and both of them looked towards the teacher, who was glaring at them.

“It would be nice if, after paying for the class, you actually bothered to listen,” she quipped.

“Sorry,” Laura mumbled, and Rick ducked his head, hiding the smirk growing on his face.

The teacher watched them for a few moments, before nodding and continuing with the class. “Now, as I was saying, let the stress flow out of your body like a stream from a spring…”

“You got in trouble with the teacher,” Rick muttered into Laura’s ear with a smirk, and she huffed, pinching his arm in retribution.

“Ass,” she grumbled, though a small smile had formed on her face.

Walking through the supermarket, Laura sighed, leaning heavily on the shopping trolley as she moved. Her feet hurt, her back ached, her hands and feet felt swollen, and she was exhausted near constantly, but today was the only day Rick was willing to leave the bar under Sam’s supervision and go baby shopping with her.

Baby shopping that was taking a whole lot longer than she’d anticipated.

Looking into the trolley, there were a ton of baby outfits and even more diapers there, as well as three baby carriers that could transform into car seats very easily (thank goodness). At that moment, Rick was looking at some strollers, a frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Laura asked, sounding pretty much as tired as she felt.

“Three-kid strollers are really expensive…” he muttered, looking between the different types. “What do you think?”

Laura straightened up and looked at the different options available – basically, one. Which was definitely very expensive. “What about a double and a single?” she suggested.

Rick looked over at her. “We’d have to take them on walks together.”

“It’d get you out of the bar more.”

He rolled his eyes at her, before turning back to the strollers. “I guess… but wouldn’t the triplet one be better in the long term?”

Laura opened her mouth to answer when she suddenly felt a discomfort in her lower back, and she leaned more fully on the trolley, breathing slowly.

When Laura didn’t answer, Rick turned around to see her leaning on the trolley. “Laura?” He approached her, rubbing her lower back slowly.

“Braxton Hicks,” she replied, answering the unasked question. “Just real uncomfy right now.”

Rick nodded, before realising she couldn’t see him. “Need to walk around a bit?”

“Yeah, but my back kills…”

He sighed, continuing to rub as she hummed to herself, probably to stop herself from groaning from the discomfort. He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure if it would be allowed… “Want to head over to the sofa section?”

She turned her head to look at him, a frown on her face. “Why?”

“You need to put your feet up.”

“You want us to get kicked out of Wal-Mart?”

“They’d kick out a pregnant woman for resting?”

Laura pursed her lips. Rick had a point… “Okay, help me out…”

Sighing, Rick walked slowly up the stairs, running a hand through his hair. The bar was finally closed for the night, but today had been hectic. The Carter twins had just started Pre-K, because Kat was back to working as a lecturer and Sam worked every day anyway. Except, some kid had turned up at school with chicken pox a week before and now the twins were spotty, itchy and tearful every day, so Kat and Sam had to take shifts taking care of them and making sure they didn’t scratch their skins off.

So he was down a worker.

Then there was the fact that Laura was officially not allowed to be on her feet for more than ten minutes at a time. Which meant that she wasn’t allowed to be in the kitchen – at least, that was how Rick interpreted it, even if she’d fought to get it interpreted differently. Luckily, it had reached the summer, and some kids were on summer break, so Allie offered up the services of her cousin (who happened to be a high school teacher) so that the kitchen could stay open and business could keep bringing in profits. Particularly because it was family season.

The lack of a doorman and the usual chef made it harder for Rick to deal with a shift, considering he also had to do crowd control, and there wasn’t exactly anyone to serve the food (unless that kid who volunteered to help out counted – Rick was pretty sure the kid expected payment for his service).

Now, though, he was looking forward to just relaxing in bed with his woman and letting all the stresses of the day just melt away. Tomorrow, hopefully, Sam would be back for a shift and take some of the stress off Rick, but tonight was a night to relax.

Opening the bedroom door, Rick wasn’t surprised to see Laura sat up in bed, reading with the book set on her bump as she rubbed it fondly. She looked up when she realised Rick was there, and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He shut the door and approached the bed. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I’ve rested pretty much all day. I’m not that tired.” She rubbed her stomach. “Plus, it’s their playtime apparently. Mama isn’t allowed to sleep.”

He chuckled as he pulled off his shirt, approaching the bed. “Need me to have a talk with them?”

Her expression soured. “You make it worse. Every time.”

“Hey, at least I’ve tried.”

“Your kids don’t take you seriously. You need to sort that out.”

He just chuckled again, stripping down to his underwear and lying down beside her. “Not long before I’ll be able to.”

Being 31 weeks along, the doctors had suggested that Laura only keep pushing until at least 34 weeks before she delivered – it was certain that she wouldn’t be able to carry to full term, but they needed the babies as developed as possible before they took them out and kept them in the NICU until they were healthy enough to survive on their own. Which meant Laura would be stuck on bed rest for at least three weeks.

She’d only been on rest for half a week, and Rick could already tell she hated it.

A nervous expression appeared on her face, and Rick sat up. “Nervous?”

She huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. We’re having three kids. In at least three weeks. What’s not to be nervous about?”

“Remember that you’ll – we’ll – have a support network. We’re not alone in this.”

She smiled widely at that, closing the book and setting it on the bedside table. “Yeah… yeah, I guess…”

He leaned over and kissed her softly, gently cradling her head in his hands as he did so. He rested his forehead against hers as he pulled away. “We’re a team. We can make it work. We can do this.”

She narrowed her eyes at him as she pulled away. “You took that from the antenatal class. You were actually listening?”

“You were the one who got told off for not listening.”

“That was your fault!”

The summer was usually the busiest season for the bar, simply because people were more free to do what they wanted – especially with the kids out of school. Since it had become general knowledge to the regulars that Rick was going to be a dad, Rick more often than not found himself chatting with a dad who had dropped the kids off with the grandparents and was chilling whilst their significant other was at work, and conversations ranged from the sweetest things kids did to the times they literally caused heart attacks, and Rick certainly wasn’t looking forward to the latter.

However, it was when he heard the call that he realised kids started giving heart attacks from before birth.

“Rick!”

His heart leapt into his throat as he shot Sam a look, and the other raced over to take his place at the bar as he ran upstairs to see what was going on. He stiffened when he realised Kat was stood there in the corridor, supporting her pregnant sister.

Her pregnant sister, who was stood with her hands braced against the wall, her face scrunched up in pain and a slowly growing pool of liquid around her feet.

Please let that be pee, please let that be pee…

“Her waters just broke,” Kat explained, rubbing Laura’s back. “She’s been having contractions since this morning.”

Rick’s heart clenched at that. If she’d been having them, why hadn’t they called earlier? He hadn’t been that busy, had he? God, was she in labour?

Oh God, she was in labour.

“Grab the baby bag from our room – it’s under the bed,” he instructed, quickly moving to take Kat’s place in supporting Laura. “Sam has the truck keys.”

“I’ll get it all ready for you.” Kat raced off to do as Rick explained, leaving the pair in the corridor.

Leaning down, Rick kissed Laura’s cheek as he rubbed her lower back and realised her face was wet from tears. “Remember, breathe. Breathe out slow, then in. Don’t panic.”

As Laura began to follow the instructions given in the classes, Rick realised he was also using the breathing technique to keep calm and that his heart was beating twice as fast as usual.

It felt like forever, but Laura eventually relaxed, her breathing returning to normal and her hands unclenching from where they had been scratching at the wall in pain. But the tears kept flowing. Rick leaned down again and kissed her cheeks, letting her know he was still there.

“You ready to move?”

Laura forced out a laugh, still braced against the wall. “Do I have a choice?” She took a deep breath. “And here I was hoping I could hold out for another week…”

“You’re 34 weeks already. You’ve made it far, and you’ve done well. I’m proud of you.”

She smiled at that. “Really?”

He smiled back. “Really.”

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly to stop the flow of tears. “Okay then. Let’s go have our babies.”

Rick could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d got emotional in his life: his first wedding; leaving home; that time with his dad when he was a teen…

But this definitely topped that list.

Staring through the windows to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, his eyes were focused on three incubators with wires and tubes leading out of them. Inside them, three babies laid, tiny and helpless and premature, unable to breathe without the aid of a machine.

And as helpless and as tiny as they were, and as terrified as he was to now have three tiny lives entrusted into his care, Rick couldn’t deny the overflow of love he felt as he watched them. The emotion was just… so much more than he was used to.

That’s what he would attribute the crack in his voice to as his mother answered the phone.

“Ricky? Is everything alright?”

“Ma…” He smiled, his eyes still glued to his two daughters and son. “You’re a grandma…”

[jlf23tumble]

Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain, quite possibly my fave of faves...sorry this is being answered a million years later, but I’m boo boo the fool who can’t operate bold font on mobile, and I’m a purist lmao, so here we are!

Name: Jen

Zodiac sign: Pisces, and I’m the worst because Blake has told me the other bits, but I focus too hard on the fish and blank on the ascending etc.

Height: 5’8″

Hobbies: reading, traveling, creating random photo-based shit posts, setting up hyperspecific sideblogs, drinking (coffee, wine, water, whatever) with friends/family

Favourite colour: it changes CONSTANTLY, but I’m a sucker for anything bright or shiny/metallic (gold, silver, candy apple red, emerald green, etc.)

Favourite book: I’d love to be deep and say Pride and Prejudice because it’s so good, and obviously it’s right up there, but when I think of the books I read when I was younger, the ones that had a profound impact on things I saw or read for years down the road, I’d have to say it’s a tie between Baghdad by the Bay (Herb Caen) and Crooked House (Agatha Christie); The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People (written in the 60s, I think??) is hella hilarious, too

Last song I listened to: big shocker to anyone who caught my random posts  while I was in England, but Stormzy, “Crown.”

Last movie I watched: Singin’ in the Rain ...on a plane!

Inspiration/Muse: my mom, for all the obvious positive reasons, plus all the negative ones (so many cautionary tales yikes); I have tons of celeb muses and inspirations, but they ebb and flow in degrees of problematicity, and I’m not opening that can here, lmaoooooo

Dream job: I’m lazy, so the dream is getting paid to do nothing or to travel at my leisure, but it’s a man’s world, baby, sigh, so I have to work work work work work. Fortunately, my actual job is pretty damned close to a dream job: I love reading and editing, and I’m paid to read and edit (I’ve set myself up to edit a variety of projects, so it’s never all that boring either)

Reason behind my username: it’s my old job ID/original work email address!! Can U believe there were 22 other people before me who worked there with my initials???

I tag anyone else who wants to do this, just tag me back so I can reblog! I saw this post go around a lot, so methinks everyone I’d normally tag has already done it, boo, but I’m nosy and love seeing ‘em