#one of my post rustled some jimmies

[elrielffs]

Ways Elain and Azriel are similar:

-both are the unassuming members of the IC

-both enjoy peace and quiet

-both are mostly silent but when they speak people listen

-both have protective sides that come out in a feral way (Elain stabbing Hybern, Azriel attacking Eris)

-both understand to have loved and been rejected

-both have trauma pertaining to their body, Elain by being turned fae and Azriel with his hands

-same sense of humor (Elains gag gifts making Azriel actually full on LAUGH)

-both “see” each other (Azriel knowing Elain is a Seer, Elain knowing enough about Azriel to get him headache powder)

-follows into both being observant

-it has been repeatedly hinted that Elain has the makings of a spy—-has Azriel beat for secret keeping? So soft on her feet she can sneak up on people? Has a way of getting people to do what she wants? Speculated to be taking lessons from the twins?

And these are things I just came up with quickly while waiting for a doctors appt. You can find many, many beautiful posts that are more succinct and beautifully stated than this but at least I could list somethings.

I would say that Elain and Azriel fall into each other’s lifestyles easily since that’s what they’ve been doing.

Azriel willingly spends downtime in the garden with Elain, reading his reports, sunning his wings, he offers to take her there himself and even when he’s not there, he’s observing the garden with Elain in it.

They spent all Solstice night with each other staying up talking.

So yes. They are similar in manner and in lifestyle I would say and have no problems quietly inserting themselves into each other’s life.

[docholligay]

I love looking over someone's blog and trying to figure out if they're an earnest person who can be talked to and is actually curious or someone who is like, 19 and right about everything. (i also was never incorrect at 19, it's just the time)

Anyway, if you want to read a very very good book about the actual history of the hamburger, I really recommend Josh Ozersky's Hamburger: A History. He does have his little annoying tics, but his history is good--the man was a history doctorate and a food writer--and I think it would provide some clarity on the question.

In short, Germany invented the hamburger in the way India invented tikka masala.

[fantasyismyonlyrealescape]

Whumptober 2024: No. 1 - Race Against the Clock/Panic Attack

Characters: Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (Zowens)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 1,419

A/N: To celebrate the first day of Spooky Season, I give you my first ever WWE story! I hope you enjoy. Cheers!

Summary: Sami Zayn is plagued with nightmares from his time in the Bloodline. Kevin is there to help him pick up the pieces. Some scars are invisible and impossible to heal but having a constant presence like a best friend, a brother, can make it all bearable.

Cross posted on AO3 under user wrestlinginjeans.

I’ve Got You

Kevin sits quietly, his back pressed up against the headboard in the dingy motel room that Sami and Kevin were sharing for the night, his eyes directed downward at his phone in his hand. A soft rustle next to him directed his attention to the man sleeping close by. Peering through the semi darkness as Sami had insisted as always for them to leave the bathroom light on, he studied the state of his best friend. Sami was having a nightmare, that much he could tell. What his mind was tormenting him with that night, that he was not so certain.

Kevin had noticed very early on after they had gotten back to some semblance of normal, that his best friend’s nightmares had seemingly increased tenfold. Their embrace in the ring had only taken place a week ago, but Kevin knew his friend better than to think that he was fine. Sami had not elaborated on anything that had happened behind the Bloodline’s closed doors, away from the cameras and bright lights of the ring, but Kevin was beginning to get bits and pieces of what Sami had gone through in the pained whispers muttered when Sami was asleep next to him.

Kevin knew that Sami had always suffered from nightmares, who didn’t? Truth be told, part of the reason why Kev was lucky if he got more than four hours of sleep a night was due to his own thoughts tormenting him. But Sami had never been one that could function well on little sleep. So, while he slept, his restlessness growing all the more apparent, Kevin remained awake to watch over his friend and to wake him if Sami couldn’t pull himself out of it on his own.

Sami couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move as he fought against the invisible hands grabbing at his arms, pulling on him and sending him crashing down onto his knees on the metal ramp leading to the illuminated ring. He could see four distinct figures surrounding what looked to be another person slumped down between them. Sami’s mind was screaming at him to keep fighting, to get to the downed individual. He strained against the hands pulling him back, his mind yelling that he should be able to put names to the faces of the people standing in the ring, they were familiar. They were home, no. They used to be home, not anymore.

Sami sluggish mind could just make out that the four figures had disappeared from his line of sight and then he was being dragged towards the ring by familiar hands. A moment later, he is thrown roughly into the ring and his mind finally identifies the figures now looming above him.

Jimmy, Jey, Solo, and Roman, the remaining members of the Bloodline, stand tall over the fallen body next to him.

“You like what we did to yo’ brother, Uce?” Jimmy spits out, his words dripping venom as he kicks the man dressed in dark clothing slouched next to him hard.

Brother… Sami knew the injured man, why wasn’t his mind coming up with a name? Just then Jimmy, the only one who has talked so far, grabs Sami by the back of the shirt and drags him over to the body laying close by. Sami could now see the face and Sami feels as if he cannot breathe all over again.

“Kev?” Sami whispers, the name barely distinguishable from the choked-up sob that ripped from the redhead’s throat. Sami’s hands reach for his fallen best friend, grabbing at his clothes all too torn and sticky with so much blood. “What have you done?” Sami snarls suddenly, adrenaline and fury coursing through his veins as he lashes out with his blood slick fists at the Bloodline members above him.

“You did this, Uce. You caused this to happen,” Jey’s vicious tone is added to the fray. “This is your punishment for betrayin’ the family.”

“He’s dead because of you,” Roman’s deep voice mocks the red-haired Canadian and all Sami sees is red. Sami feels the invisible hands grabbing at him again and he uses his elbows and feet to try and get the hands off of him. He needed to fight, he needed to draw blood, he needed to feel something, anything. He wouldn’t accept that Kevin was gone, he couldn’t. A voice begins to cut through the anger induced fog that had surrounded his being then, getting more and more insistent as he continues to fight off the hands holding him from avenging his friend.

“Sami,” he hears a detached voice echo through the fog. The hands, Sami now identifying that there was only one set of hands grabbing at him, hold him in a constricting grip sure to leave bruises on Sami’s upper arms.

He doesn’t see the booted foot of Jimmy until it’s too late, the sole connecting with his face as his body toppled to the left, the side of his head colliding with the mat underneath him. His vision clouds rapidly at the edges as he fights a losing battle to maintain consciousness. Blindly, he strains against the hands, opening and closing his fists as he reaches out for the fallen body of Kevin. He is only just aware of the single set of hands still holding his arms as he loses his battle and slips into darkness.

“Sami. Sami, wake up. Come on, mon frère, listen to me. You have to wake up,” an insistent voice cuts through the fog as Sami’s mind swims back into consciousness, his hands probing the soft fabric underneath him and realizing that he is no longer in the ring. For a blissful second, he is completely unaware of what his mind had tormented him with that night. Then, the entirety of the nightmare floods back into his mind all at once and before he can stop himself, he’s sitting bolt upright and is out of the bed in a moment.

“Sami. Mon frère, look at me,” a voice urges patiently to Sami, the redhaired man’s eyes darting around the room seemingly unseeing as he backs himself into the closest corner.

“Sami,” Kevin tries again, moving off the bed and approaching Sami slowly. Sami was shaking, whether that be from the adrenaline likely coursing through his veins or from the aftermath of the nightmare, Kevin did not know. “Look at me. Please…”

Sami couldn’t hear him, he couldn’t see him, his body was wired, and his mind was replaying the events of the nightmare in a constant loop in his head. He couldn’t distinguish between reality or fantasy and his mind was telling him to run. But there was no escape, not when he felt strong arms wrap around his body and push him further into the corner that he had backed himself into. Sami lets out a strangled cry as he fights in vain to free himself from the arms wrapped around his body.

“Sami. Sami, it’s Kev. You’re safe.”

A voice, the voice that Sami never thought he would hear again, finally registers in his mind as home, safety, love.

“Kev?” Sami asks in a whisper, his voice cracking as his cloudy eyes dart to Kevin’s face swimming in front of him.

“Oui, Sami. It’s me.”

“Kev… How? I tried to get to you, I tried but there were hands holding me back and then they were dragging me into the ring, and I saw you and… There was blood, so much blood. It was on my hands, on the mat,” Sami rambles, barely stopping for breath as he fights to regain control over his mind. “It was my fault…” he whispers in a heartbreaking tone so quietly that if Kevin had not been as close as he was, he wouldn’t have been able to hear what Sami had just uttered.

Kevin shakes his head slowly, bringing Sami closer towards him until their chests were together in somewhat of an embrace, wrapping his arms securely around Sami’s slimmer frame, knowing that the touch would help to ground Sami. The slighter man was still shaking visibly.

“Sami, you were having a nightmare, and you woke up in a panic. None of it was true. I am right here, and I am not going anywhere,” Kevin reassures softly, knowing that Sami was coming down off a panic attack.

“You’re going to be okay, mon frère. I’ve got you.” Kevin says quietly into Sami’s ear as he brings Sami’s head down onto his shoulder. “I’ve got you, Sami.”

[onecornerface]

the time I trolled 4chan as a fake flat earther for six hours in 2012

In July 2012, I got on 4chan and pretended to be a flat earther. I passionately argued for flat earth theory for six hours with almost no break. I kept a single thread going the whole time, getting over 400 replies. I’m not sure if I still have a PDF of the thread, but I do have some quotes from people who responded to me. Looking back over this a decade later, I am proud.

[CW: Slurs]

"There's no way you're actually this dumb. There's just no way."

"the flat earth society is one of the best trolls i've ever seen, in all those days of /b/"

"I tried some scientific research on this topic a while ago. I ordered a pizza, got two because the first was not what I ordered. I let the first dry out under a light bulb. Eventually, after a couple weeks, living creatures started populating Planet Pizza, after a while orbiting their home planet. This is proof, that the earth is flat. tl;dr Earth is a pizza, probably on a bigger pizza which probably is in a room with an even bigger pizza."

"Sir your thesis contradicts climate, you don't know what refraction is, you can't explain day and night, ebb and flow and you're also paranoid and/or outright stupid since you believe in conspiracy theory."

"You are a stupid faggot, and the whole of society would be better if you stopped breathing it's air. ...unless, of course, you're a troll. In that case, I'll award you an 8/10."

"I however, HAVE BEEN TO SPACE. Twice. I assure you, having orbited the planet many times, it is indeed a sphere. OP is an idiot, his only defense against me is 'omg gimme proof' which I can, and once given, 'u r part of the illuminatee' Ugh. Ignorant dumb ass piece of shit."

"Damn OP 9/10"

"If we dealt with this on a daily basis i would kill myself."

"Yes my jimmies are rustled, because I hate ignorant, inbred fucks like OP. Go die in a hole. Oh wait, you couldn't, you'd be scared of just falling through into space."

"10/10 OP good trolling, keeping in character and sounding legit"

"9/10 OP. My jimmies will be rustled for the whole rest of the day after reading this tripe."

"[S]ome eyebrows must be raised in the direction of the /b/ros still continuing to argue about this. Better standard should be expected from you guys, but taking away nothing from OP. Excellent work."

"If you're not a failtroll you are, by far, one of the most deluded and idiotic people I've ever seen post on /b/, which is a tremendous feat."

"9/10 for commitment"

"love this thread op 10/10 for still being here." (This was three hours in.)

">Focuses on the obscurely worded >Ignores every other point >Provides no answers About what I was expecting."

"Go hung yourself, please Humanity doesn't need such stupid people like you are"

"I'd believe someone who says the earth is flat compared to someone who claims otherwise and can't grammar correctly."

"I haven't laughed so hard at something on /b/ for a long time."

"OP, I'm not gonna bother asking you anything. I just wanted to let you know this is the best thread I have seen as long as I can remember. You truly are amazing. Good fucking job."

"nice arguments though i am in awe of your reckless faggotry and ignorance and skills of producing believable logical fallacies."

(Four hours in) "I can't believe this thread is still going. OP is the most successful troll of all time."

">Earth is flat >Every other celestial body is round >mfw 1/10"

"Great thread. You are not a troll, I saw you other times here and I knew personally a man from this society."

"holy shit 0 of fucking 10"

"Billiard balls are also flat. Isn't it obvious that they sprites?"

"10/10 OP wins"

">almost 5 hours of this shit 10/10"

"Big respect OP. OP is alpha as fuck"

"but seriously, OP is the man destroying everyone with his devasting arguments for hours huge respect man if i would suck a cock then I'd suck yours and I'd propably come before you do"

"3/10. Painfully obvious troll, yet impressive to see so many anons actually failing to make a compelling argument."

"Willy Wonka travelled around the world in 80 days, and ended up back where he started, just in time for tea. You can't explain that."

"Did you ever wonder what happened to Amelia earhart? She flew too far. Gov't shot her down past the ice wall. They obviously couldnt have her come back from that trip, she would tell everyone"

"I myself subscribe to modern rational empiricism, in accordance to which OP's arguments are absolute bullshit. And yet the attempts to challenge his unfalsifiable beliefs have proven mostly futile. A great majority of those posting in this thread have no idea why they should believe the earth is round."

"There has to be trolling here, I seriously can't believe what I am reading."

"this is beyond epic"

"I'm starting to enjoy this so i'm upping you from a 2/10 to an 8 but it ends now."

"OP is now argueing since 6 hours. This is the longest discussion I've ever seen in my life. Of ALL discussions, not only 4chan."

"arguments presented thus far by flatty: >did you personally do the experiment? no? then the results are invalid >here's my evidence; as demonstrated in this experiment someone else did also >oh; you did the experiment itself and it basically shows that the earth is round? >there's probably crazy gravity or some shit; hell if i know or >just because we can't explain every one of these phenomena and a spherical model can doesn't mean we're wrong. i'm serious you guys also >pictures lie and you should never believe them; despite mind boggling quality and quantity available for universal use online"

"Explain how we can have fat asses and tennis balls but a flat fucking earth."

"9/10 OP, well done!"

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Hey!

Remember that post I made about my "songs that pop into my head" playlist? And I said I was cooking up a project? WELL THE TIME HAS COME!

Here we go guys! I am assigning you all homework!

For the last two years I have been making a different kind of playlist as well. These ones were for every time I heard a song that made me... Idk.. feel something? Every time a song made my skin crawl or makes me vibe or feel some kind of profound melancholy...

So the deal was/is, that every time I hear a song (new, old, an old favorite that takes on a new feeling) that just makes me FEEL I would add it to my "Songs that Rustle My Jimmies" playlist. And what's been rad about doing this is that it kind of creates an emotional time capsule for the year. I go back and listen to the 2021 playlist and some of those tracks still hit me and others don't anymore. And that's okay! It kind of archives how my mind and tastes have changed. Even some of the songs in the 2022 list don't land like they did that first time I heard them.

What I want to do is spread this project to as many people as possible for 2023!

So here is the assignment:

Reblog this post. Let's get as many people as we can in on this. Tell your friends and mutuals people

Create a Spotify playlist (idk about other services... Can you share them? I don't know how they work...) With a similar name. "Big Mood 2023" or "Songs That Slap My Face With A Dead Trout 2023" or whatever. The crucial part is that 2023 is in the title.

Reblog the post again and add a link to your playlist. BUT instead of posting right away, schedule the post to go out on January 1st 2024.

Throughout the year, collect the songs that make you move, make the hairs on your arms stand up, fill you with joy, fill you with sadness...

New Years day 2024, come back to the notes and we will all get the chance to hear the amazing music that rocked our world through 2023 together!

Some notes:

This is not a playlist that you should immediately fill up with all your favorite songs. This is a list that will be built slowly over time. As you happen across music through the year, add it to the list one by one. You hear a track on a album you got, the radio, the background of a video, playing over the speakers at Taco Bell while you order a crunch wrap supreme.... Put em in. There is no track limit and NO required amount. If you look at the 2 lists I posted above, 2022 is much smaller that 2021 for me. Sometimes, those Big songs just don't come around as often and that's ok. Oh, I should say to be clear that the songs don't HAVE to be new or even new to you. Just any song that has a new profoundity (is that a word?) for you in 2023.

I can't wait to hear what you guys come up with!!

[arumbleinthedark]

Why are you in the whump community if you’re anti proship lol.

Because I was once neck deep in the proship community and I didn't like what I saw.

I'm anti censorship, I'm anti harassment, I'm pro kink, but I have my reasons for not wanting to be associated with proshippers.

In fact, I've also been neck deep in the anti community, and a lot of them are on thin ice as well.

I don't want to be associated with either of them, because this is a relatively new thing in fandom and I honestly think I'm way to old to get involved with it. But unfortunately the Internet has become a cesspit of black and white thinking and "you're either with us or with them" rhetoric that quite frankly disgusts me.

If you want specific reasons why:

A large majority of the proship community are also within the radqueer and "paraphilla" community. (I'm putting paraphilla in quote because while it is a legitimate medical term, it's been appropriated by these people.) Radqueers and "paraphiles" are yet another ploy to try and normalize "MAPs" and Zoophiles under the assumption that they're valid because they're "no contact" or "limited contact" even if they're actively in a relationship with a minor. They also use grooming tactics such as the invention of "Adult Attracted Minor" to try and convince minors that it's normal and progressive to be in a relationship with an adult. This all just gives pedophiles and zoophiles the freedom to hide behind "But it's fictional!" which is exactly the type of thing I was concerned about when I first heard of Proship. Yes, it's fictional, but that doesn't change the fact that you're using it to try and normalize your cause.

A lot of proshippers have a superiority complex, acting like people who are emotionally affected by fanart and fanfiction are idiots. On the other hand, a lot of antis have a morality complex, which is where the purity culture surrounding fandom stems from. You're not special because your jimmies don't get rustled by a rape fic or because you felt icky about a pairing.

Neither side can stop talking about each other. It's gets really old after a while. If you're so unbothered by antis, why do you keep talking about how stupid they are? If you hate proshippers so much, why do you keep engaging with their content and then posting about how sickened you are? Make it make sense.

There's a huge misunderstanding about fanworks in general, mainly from antis. We're all in agreement that fanworks are mainly made for the one who created them, but that brings about the assumption that all creators get pleasure from what they create, especially when sexual activity is involved, and that the creator supports and encourages the content. Antis seem to think that someone who makes "problematic" content has some ulterior motive, and a lot of proshippers seem to think that "problematic" content is made to specifically cater to them. This leads to issues where people are afraid to create something that's controversial. I've seen people hold off on sharing their content publicly because "I don't want people to harass me because they think I'm supporting it" or "I don't want creeps to praise it thinking that I'm actually into this stuff."

There's also the issue with people who are creating this kind of content to process trauma. Either they're being told to not post it publicly or to "cope harder," or they'll see someone compliment their work only to find out that they're into l*li shit. People reposting NSFW art made for this reason to R34 image boards, almost always without the artists knowledge or input, is also part of the problem.

Antis are not the only community that sends death threats or tells people to "kys." Proshippers do it too.

Don't get me started on the antis who think shipping a poc character with a white character is racist or a "power dynamic" or who infantilize people with disabilities by saying that disabled and autistic characters can't be shipped because they're "minor coded." There was an entire flowchart floating around at some point that gathered all these things together and while I got a good laugh out of it I was also deeply disturbed that there are people who actually think this way.

Both communities are also concerningly cult-like in nature and I've had people from both sides attempt to manipulate me into their mindset.

So, yeah, I hope that answers your question.

[dictatorkelly]

Rant incoming

I am so sick of seeing this post. I am a cradle Catholic who left the Church and came back, so this isn't a case of a prot who got her jimmies rustled. I get that this is meant as a "light hearted" """joke"""" but it comes across as mean spirited smugness. This does nothing to bring anyone closer to God (or in the Catholic view, anything to bring the lost sheep back into the fold). This attitude pushes people away from the Church. The main issue is of course assuming all protestants are evangelicals or nondenominationals that watch TV preachers. High forms of worship exist among protestants, with Anglicanism being the most obvious example. First: there is nothing that prohibits the use of incense among protestants. It isn't common across denominations, but it does exist.

This is a United Methodist pastor using incense in his service. Also note the vestments being used, a far cry from a business suit. Now let's talk about buildings. A side-note that my criteria was that it had to have been built after the reformation and specifically as a Protestant church, so no Westminster Abbey. Even though America is a young country, it still has some beautiful Protestant churches.

Like the National Cathedral in D.C., an Episcopal church.

Or Trinity Evangelical Lutheran church in Milwaukee. Compare these to the kinds of churches I grew up with in South Florida:

That last one is our *cathedral*, the seat of the diocese in Miami. It's not the worst but we can do so much better. The buildings look like this in part because of material restrictions (concrete holds up to hurricanes much better than more traditional construction materials), but also because South Florida wasn't really built until the invention of air conditioning, leading to gross modern trends in architecture. Here's a Presbyterian church in Broward for comparison:

Really not too much different. To sum up a very long effort post on a stupid meme: stop spreading judgements on other people's faith based on surface level pithy remarks. I know that cringey prots making similarly shallow slings at Catholics have never convinced me of anything. Why not debate Protestants based on the merits of their arguments instead? Otherwise all you're doing is showing ignorance.

Honestly, the biggest sin of protestantism isn’t the schism, but their sheer lack of DRIP.

[qnewsau]

Groping a bushranger: Jimmy Kenniff and the sword-swallower

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/groping-a-bushranger-jimmy-kenniff-and-the-sword-swallower/

Groping a bushranger: Jimmy Kenniff and the sword-swallower

Even amidst one of Australia’s largest ever manhunts, there was a brief moment of levity when journalist A W Chisholm testified to groping bushranger Jimmy Kenniff in a dark Rockhampton street.

Queensland never ranked very high in the bushranger stakes. Other states had famous outlaws like Ned Kelly, Captain Moonlite and Ben Hall. But Queensland’s main claim to fame is being home to Australia’s last active bushrangers, the Kenniffs.

The Kenniffs

The Keniffs moved to Central Queensland after various convictions in NSW during the 1890s. The father and sons rustled cattle and horses and held up a general store among other crimes.

In early 1902, a police constable, a station manager, and an Aboriginal tracker set out to arrest the two older brothers, Paddy and Jimmy. The posse surprised the Kenniffs in their bush camp and managed to apprehend Jimmy but not Paddy. The Aboriginal tracker left to collect their packhorses so they could pursue Paddy. But on his way back, he heard gunfire. Then, the Kenniffs appeared out of the bush, seemingly intent on killing him. He left to find backup, and by the time he returned, no one remained at the campsite — no Kenniffs, no constable, no station manager.

When other police arrived, they found evidence of a gunfight and the burned remains of the police constable and station manager. And so began one of the most extensive manhunts in Australian history. Parties of horsemen scoured central Queensland. Reports of sightings came from around Queensland and even New South Wales.

Police feared Paddy and Jimmy’s family would help them to avoid capture. So, the cops arrested Paddy and Jimmy’s 67-year-old father and their 16 and 19-year-old brothers for horse stealing. Probably a trumped-up charge. The cops locked the trio in Rockhampton Gaol and contrived one excuse after another to continually adjourn their trial until the search for Paddy and Jimmy succeeded.

Jimmy Kenniff

Then, news broke that a heavily armed Jimmy Kenniff had arrived in Rockhampton intent on breaking his dad and brothers out of jail.

Amazingly, after a few late night drinks, the bushranger divulged his plans to A W Chisholm, sub-editor of the Rockhampton Daily Record. So much for the element of surprise!

Chissy reported that a friend told him customers of a nearby pub had recognised the bushranger in their midst. The journalist raced to the scene and lured Jimmy outside for an interview. Despite his scoop, the journalist then went home to bed, returning to the office the following morning to write his copy for the afternoon paper before finally alerting the police at 9 am. Perhaps he forgot the £1,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the Kenniffs.

But within a few days, police arrested a sword swallower for causing alarm by impersonating notorious criminal Jimmy Kenniff. Chisholm was called as a police witness at James Leroy’s trial two weeks later. The journalist testified that the man he knew as Jimmy Kenniff said he would steal horses from a nearby hotel, then go the gaol and ‘get the old man and two boys out’.

“I put my hand on  it”

“I told him if he attempted anything of that sort, he would get shot. He said, ‘I can do some shooting myself if it comes to that’. He said he had three revolvers but would not show them to me. I felt his hip pocket and felt something bulging like a revolver. It was not a clear night, and I could not see very well.”

James Leroy’s lawyer was amused. He suggested alternatives. “It might have been a pipe case you felt in his hip pocket?”

“It might have been. He would only let me feel the shape of it from the outside, and I put my hand on it.”

Unsurprisingly, the courtroom continually erupted into laughter.

Chissy apparently stood in a dark street feeling up a bloke with no gag reflex and a long hard bulge in his trousers. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Though… to be fair, according to his evidence, Chissy didn’t know about the gag reflex at the time. He allegedly thought he was groping a brutal, remorseless killer, not a sword swallower.

But then, James Leroy took the stand. He testified he’d been on the grog for days when Chisholm offered him £3 to impersonate Kenniff for a few hours and create a ‘sensation’. Drunk and broke, the sword-swallower accepted. Worse, Chisholm contacted James Leroy again after his arrest and subsequent release on bail. This time, he offered to pay Leroy’s fine and another £10 if the sword swallower implicated a journo from the opposition Morning Bulletin. James Leroy copped a £2 fine, and Alfred Wilson Chisholm found himself unemployed and unemployed.

Police apprehended Paddy and Jimmy Kenniff a month later. Found guilty, Paddy went to the gallows in Boggo Road Gaol. Jimmy served a long term of imprisonment and died of cancer in Charters Towers in 1940.

More Rocky History:

After escaping a conspiracy to entrap him in Rocky, Jack Boyd was later convicted for a gay sex act in Townsville.

In 1943, Walford Dunbar claimed he fell over and accidentally landed on a dick.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[bylightofdawn]

Get to bed early she said? HA HA HA HAHA 2:45 am later.

Though in my defense, a loud thunderstorm blew in and I am a baby when it comes to thunder so I can never call asleep if it's like storming like crazy.

I've also been having too much fun on tumblr but it's fucking late. I did break down and meander to AO3 and immediately hyena cackled because out of 121 fics, 79 of them are tagged Edgin/Xenk.

I know that's going to rustle some people's jimmies. I already saw some person vague posting about how ugh they love a character and have to suffer through wading through those dirty popular ship pairing for content on said character.

At which point I just rolled my eyes because 1) why vague posting in a PA manner? 2) Why piss on other people's enjoyment because you aren't enjoying it? Exactly what does your being a negative nelly about people enjoying things you don't like bring to this sphere except you making it about you and your dislike? Sure technically, they're complaining on their blog and they are entitled to their opinion so I will concede that point. Well here's my opinion and my point posted on my blog.

Let people have fun. If you don't like it, don't interact. And if you HAVE to interact because you want that content of said character then you kinda signed up for yanno....interacting with said content so why are you bitching about it?

Okay, I'm going to bed for real. I'll prolly wake up to hate notes about this one but eh, ask me if I care?

[breelandwalker]

This Witch Hexes Fascists

Friendly reminder that I can and will lead my life and practice my craft as I see fit.

This includes promoting acceptance of others, harmonious coexistence, inclusion, compassion, common sense, critical thinking, and general good will.

This ALSO includes vehement rejection of willful ignorance, religious intolerance, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, fascism, and the motherfucking patriarchy.

These things are neither mutually exclusive nor diametrically opposed.

And if that makes me spiky or sharp-edged or unpalatable in some way, so be it.

I will not soften myself in order to flatter the delicate sensibilities of those who can afford the luxury of soft-spoken pacifism.

I am not here to make bigots comfortable. I am here to fucking RESIST.

[poohkeepsee]

I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles  by  2street2car Words: 10,311     Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me  by  ellispark  Words: 45,876     Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine  by  LeverDrift Words: 67,939     Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills  by  ilovehowyouletmefall           Words: 26,052     Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human.  And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend  by  sobsicles    Words: 8,445     Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You  by  sobsicles Words: 95,090     Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication'  by  JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home  by  domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing  by  NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462     Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts  by  pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922     Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees)  by  sobsicles   Words: 74,173     Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim  by  Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910   Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)  by  sobsicles           Words:     108,427     Chapters:     4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date  by  aeli_kindara Words: 8,968    Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road  by  thegeminisage Words:     109,629     Chapters:     7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims  by  lagaudiere Words: 31,904     Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now)  by  sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au  (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend  by  reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart  by  peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191     Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

[jollykingfart]

Not to drag anyone here, you all are free to do your marketing as you wish, I aren't your manager and in the end, none of my bzb, but man this answer and its message bothered me a lil too much.

To comment a few points that rustled my jimmies:

"My sister is an adult woman and her blog is hers only which means she can write there what she wants and how she wants."

I too am grown ass man and could as well use shit like д or доллар instead of $ when selling my old pokemon cards for dollars, but man, why to do so when it A) looks bizarre as heck and B) will just confuse people. Even if goofers figured out д is in fact d and might refer to dollars, I most likely just unnecessarily confused some people and at worst, drove away customers with not interested to solve my cyrillic currency riddles.

"Could be a typo as well since both are in the same keyboard button"

That's one heck of typo if so. Writing fish as kish is typo. Naming currency in a way I have never seen it used (multiple times) is something else. Sure, I personally got it immediately it was euros but man, I have never seen it written like that.

"But anyway, it's not my job or anyone else's to tell her how she can or even should write. Please, understand this. Just like people can't come to tell you how you should write in your blog. Let people write as they want, it shows you respect them even if you wouldn't agree on their way of writing."

The ask had jackshit to do with general writing, but confusing way to mark currency. I think if you are asking for strangers' money by using the blazing oddity, there should be some space for potential critique.

"You said it yourself that you didn't read her post to the end which caused more confusion so people, please, always read the whole post first! Read it twice or more if needed. If you still are confused, you have the whole internet to search the answer to it what's confusing you in the post or ask what thing X means in the post."

Like dude, if you make generally simple advertisement so fucking confusing you need to read it twice or google shit to understand something, you should maybe think about the add again. I get googling when buying shares, insurances or something complicated and costly, but this is about commissioning my sonic OC for a few euros. If you need to read god damn commission advertisement twice and google for it to not confuse you, you might have fucked up something. Sure you are free to do whatever you want, tell critics to fuck off and customers to google harder, but man srs, that's unprofessional and doesn't benefit anyone.

Not anon hate, but as constructive criticism: please ask your dear sister to use € instead of E, please. Took me a good while to understand it was euros instead of some currency I wasn't aware of and spend a moment to google E to compare the value to dollars. The add is confusing as heck. (sure it says euro later but man I didn't read to that point yet, E is such odd and incorrect way to put euros) thank you!

Dear anon, no hate taken :) I hope you are not taking my reply as a hate since it is not that. At all.

My sister is an adult woman and her blog is hers only which means she can write there what she wants and how she wants. Tho, I do admit I was a little surprised myself when I saw she used E instead of €. Could be a typo as well since both are in the same keyboard button. But anyway, it's not my job or anyone else's to tell her how she can or even should write. Please, understand this. Just like people can't come to tell you how you should write in your blog. Let people write as they want, it shows you respect them even if you wouldn't agree on their way of writing.

You said it yourself that you didn't read her post to the end which caused more confusion so people, please, always read the whole post first! Read it twice or more if needed. If you still are confused, you have the whole internet to search the answer to it what's confusing you in the post or ask what thing X means in the post. I mean, you can always ask! :) But you all have to remember to be kind and polite instead of attacking, hateful and mean.

But it also isn't / shouldn't be such an huge issue to any of us if we need to go and dig information out from the internet. I mean I do that almost all the time when coming across with something I don't know or understand. Like Americans' weird way to short words to their first letter! Like what the heck!? :'D Those confuse the life out of me, ahah!

But it's... "unfair" towards other people if we keep expecting them to explain everything to us, do everything for us. It's like you would expect someone to chew your food for you instead of chewing it yourself (bad example, I know, sorry). We can't and even shouldn't get everything served on a tray for us, we need to go and do some digging and see some effort ourselves (like you did some googling to get correct value which is great! You did the right thing!)

But yeah, I will not correct her. Like I said, it's not my or anyone else's business nor do I actually even care, to be honest. Her blog, her way of writing. Not to mention all the work she would have to go through (again) to change that E to € in her post. It's not worth it. If you also check her Tumblr blog, you can see she has Finnish flag icon in her bio. So you then can figure out she's from Finland and then you can google if Finland uses euros etc. This is an example to others, just in case.

Thank you for your understanding! :) Have a nice weekend!

[untilthenextencore]

Bittersweet Memories: Making Sweet Out Of Bitter~...

Robert gets a bit flirty & teasing in this~...

But its just his sense of humor & Mr. Page is in NO way in ANY danger of losing his young wife~...

Just Robert's idea of a bit of harmless fun between friends I figure~...

Lol

As ever, this is forever under construction~...

So please be kind~...

Thank you~...

~

Soraya adjusted her peasant top slightly as she sat in the little cafe, trying not to watch the clock. Jimmy was home with Dante for a little "bonding time" as she got a breather & a little "me time". Soraya knew he had everything under control so she didn’t need to worry. Yet she still did...

Not so much regarding Jimmy & Dante, but regarding the man she was here to see. For some reason, even though Jimmy knew... Even though she wasn't cheating on him... She still felt unendingly nervous... Perhaps it was just baby brain or lingering post baby nerves... Nerves lingering months after having Dante... She felt on edge... Like a lamb to slaughter somehow... A babe lost in the woods... She feared no tigers or bears... Only a lion...

Not so much that she was afraid of him. She knew him well enough to know she had nothing to fear about him. More like she was afraid of what might come of this. What with both him & Jimmy fielding questions & tiring of fielding questions over a supposed "potential reunion". If any fans or photogs she might not be aware of spotted him with her it could go one of two ways. "ROBERT PLANT SPOTTED WITH MYSTERY BRUNETTE! MIGHT LOVE BE IN THE AIR?" Or "ROBERT PLANT MEETING WITH ZEP PARTNER PAGE'S WIFE! MIGHT A SHOW OR TOUR BE ON THE HORIZON?"

Neither did she particularly want. In regards to the latter she especially didn't want to be the unintentional cause of more media soundbite scrounging between her beloved Dragon husband or wandering Lion friend.

The mere thought of which had her holding - nearly clutching - her cup in both hands as a way to give herself something to do. So her hands wouldn't shake so... So she wouldn't fidget so... Her eyes watching the leaves of the tree outside rustle in the wind through its reflection in her tea...

She got quiet...

In the middle of the midday hustle & bustle...

The calm before the storm it felt like...

She didn't even need to look up to know when the lion was coming her way...

She could sense it...

It was easy, really... When she saw a tall curly blonde shadow pass her window... Heard him stop every few steps for a selfie outside... The bell above the door jingling as he entered for more of the same by the counter at the entrance... The buzzing conversations of workers & patrons droning in her ear... She was well used to this routine in her own way... So she just waited it out...

When she heard him ask a worker "Y'see darling, I'm supposed to meet someone here... I thought I saw them in the window but I'm afraid in all the commotion I seem to have lost them..."

Looking up she saw him. Dressed in a simple dark blue jumper & jeans, with a brown leather messenger bag draped on his shoulder. Some of his curls seemingly pinned back at the temples and his moustache & goatee neatly trimmed. Effortlessly cool & casual. Classic Robert. He was chatting to a pretty & rather mooneyed brunette that was clearly closer to her age than his. Of course. That was also Classic Robert.

"Robert!" She called as she stood to wave him over.

His eyes scanned the room before locking on her with a smile. "Ah! There we are! Found her!" Turning back to the waitress he clasped her hand in both of his big mitts & cooed. "So sorry to have troubled you, dear." He received an ecstatic hug in return along with effusive praise & reassurances that it was no trouble at all. Soraya swore she even saw her slip him a scrap of paper with something scrawled on it along with a whispered something or another. Then pressing a quick kiss to the waitress's temple he thanked her & bid her goodbye as he made his way to Soraya.

"Soraya, my love!"

"Not so loud, genius! People will actually think you're serious! People will talk!" Soraya waved her hand, hoping to shush the ever ebullient lionman some.

Taking her hand & placing a kiss to the back, placing one on his heart he asked. "Would that be so terrible, dearest Soraya?"

Oh boy...

He was on one today!...

"I'll remind you, blondie, that I have a whole husband & child at home waiting for me." She smirked.

"Ah, yes. The mysterious yet oh so fortunate Mr. Page... Then we must be more careful. Shall we steal away in the night, my beauty? With the babe in tow?"

"Sit! Down!" Soraya demanded before breaking up into laughter despite herself.

She allowed a laughing Robert to then pull her into a hug & a kiss on the cheek before taking her seat, whereupon he FINALLY deigned to do the same as well.

"You look amazing, Soraya!... I haven't seen you in what feels like ages!... Are you sure you had a baby?... No one could tell by the looks of you, my darling! You've recovered marvelously from when I last saw you during the video call Jim set up while you were on bedrest after the baby... May I say you are an absolute vision today!"

"Ah, yes! A vision I'm sure! A vision in a peasant top & old cutoffs!" Soraya laughed. "Was I such a sight in the call, Robert? I was so sleepy all the time I could only imagine what a fright I looked...The fact that he put me on bedrest just as an extra precaution should tell you enough!"

"May I remind you visions come in all sorts of garb, my dear Soraya. Whos to say they might not appear in a peasant top & cutoffs?" He teased with a chuckle. "And of course not, dear! You were just a sleeping beauty then, as I told Jim... You're looking hale & hearty now though, I'm glad to say..."

"I'm surprised Jimmy even set up that call, really... You know how he hates "face calls" as he calls them. He's not used to them. I always have to remind him not to put the phone by his ear when I manage to get him on one with the baby & me when he's either at or just left the office in town... He can't help it he says... Seeing as he's "such a creature of habit" in that way..." Soraya & Robert both laughed, knowing all too well JUST how true that statement was.

"If anyone can get him to break with old habits it would have to be you, darlin'... You and the boy both I'm sure..." He grinned, inwardly if not outwardly laughing at his own sense of humor as always.

"You flatter me really... I always tell you to stop... Me knowing you however, you never will..." She shook her head with a half amused half exasperated smile & scoff.

"It's an affliction of mine I'm afraid, love..." He said with a hand to his heart again. "One which pops up when I'm in the company of such lovely things as yourself..."

"Especially pretty young brunettes?..." She asked with a quirk of the eyebrow.

"That has been a type of mine some would say..." Robert noted, recalling as Soraya did, Maureen, Audrey, Najma, and a host of others both known & unknown.

"Like the waitress I saw clinging to you a moment ago?" Robert looked "shocked". His eyes taking on a playfully "hurt" look, like a freshly kicked puppy. Try as he might he was not about to fool her nor win an Academy Award nor a BAFTA. "Oh come off it, Robert I saw her slip you her number! You pick up without even trying & have for the longest I bet! I know you!" She pointed to the little slip of paper peeking out of his wallet now.

This led to Robert bursting out laughing again & Soraya quickly following suit. "Okay! Okay! You win! Christ!... I can never get anything past you! Pagey sure knows how to pick 'em!"

"And here you are offering to run off with me... Making me think you meant it too..." She faked a cry with her hands curled beneath her eyes before bursting out laughing again with Robert. "Ah, how many women must've fallen for that line I can only imagine..."

Robert only shrugged & raised his eyebrows, looking a mite guilty, saying only. "Ah... The foibles of misspent youth & young love... Puppy love really... We were all but puppies then... Ask Pagey!..."

"I have!" There went that guilty look again. Making Soraya laugh again. "Misspent youth indeed... What stories you lads could tell if you only remembered... Or "remembered"..." She added air quotes before letting the topic go with a laugh. "Anyway... Long time no see, Robert. What's new for the lion king? How's your tour been going?"

"Fantastic, darlin'! About to play Glastonbury soon! Will I see you there?" He asked as he sipped on the water a waiter brought to their table.

"If Jimmy & I can get our nanny to watch the baby & the house for that night, maybe? I would say definitely but I don't know how baby friendly Glasto is. And Dante is still so young, I'm not sure I'm ready to expose him to festival seating & such large crowds yet." She smiled, stealing a glimpse of the pic of Jimmy holding Dante she had as her phone screen background as she checked the time. Indeed Robert was nothing if not punctual with her. It being just five minutes past when they were appointed to meet.

"That's understandable... You wouldn't want to overtax or overexpose the young lad, after all. Especially not so soon. How is he? How's Jimmy doing?" Robert noticed her smile, seeing his beloved platinum haired partner holding a small swaddled little bundle. He couldn't make out any great amount of detail from where he was sitting, but he did notice the bundle had a little tuft of black hair that made a widows peak like point on its forehead. He couldn't help but smile himself.

"Oh, he's wonderful! They both are really. Dante is such a sweet boy. No trouble at all. Just sleeps and eats between diaper changes as all babies do at this age. Jimmy of course is taking to fatherhood like a duck to water. Of course he would, being an old hand & all... Which reminds me..." Soraya's soft voice cut in, bringing him back to the moment & leading him to look up & meet her gaze.

She steeled herself with a sip from her tea before starting slow. "Thank you for meeting me here..."

"Anytime, love." Robert smiled & gave her hand a little squeeze.

She smiled somewhat weakly in return, giving his large mit a soft squeeze back. "I asked you here because I had something special to ask... It's something that while I could've done over text, was far too important... It felt too impersonal to do so that way... Especially after all this time... I have something of a favor to ask..."

She saw him lean back in the chair. Posture going rigid slightly. Corners of his mouth dropping as his mouth tightened into a straight line. His hand fell from hers & began to retreat whereupon she scrambled to catch it in both of hers. Taking the tiger by the tail... Or rather the lion by its paw...

"It's not what you think... It's not about that... I wouldn't dare insert myself in group affairs... Whatever decision is made between you, Jonesy & Jimmy... Is made between you, Jonesy & Jimmy... That's it... If the decision has yet to be made or if it's been made already it is not my place to say... I swear to you... It has nothing to do with that elephant in the room that seems to be plaguing both you & Jimmy in interviews thanks to a few meddling or stubborn people who like to ask the same questions... But that's on them... Not any of us... So we can leave sleeping beasts lie..."

She gave his hands a comforting squeeze that belied the mass of nerves she felt then as she met Robert's gaze. Confronting the lion while at the same time trying not to seem confrontational.

A long beat paused where it seemed all Soraya could hear was the rushing thump of blood in her temples & the faint clinking of silverware & glasses around them as she gazed in his eyes. The sea in his eyes clearly stormy. She allowed her mind to wander momentarily. The sound of the rushing blood & clinking glassware reminding her of the ocean & the sounding of the bells on the buoys at sea. The color of his eyes only doing more so.

"Okay?..." Soraya smiled softly, giving his hands another squeeze. The steeled steel blue softened, as did his tense posture, down to the hands which returned to dwarfing hers in their grasp. Caressing hers. Giving a soft apologetic squeeze before thumbing over the rock on her third finger on her left hand.

"Okay..." The old lion rasped. "Okay... Sorry... Sorry... Sorry, dear... I know you... I know you... I know you... Wouldn't push..."

"Thank you!... You know me, Robert!... As much of a fan as I might be I'm still not dumb enough to think the decisions regarding that whole beast of a question should be made by anyone but you three altogether..." Soraya saw him nod & lean back, this time more relaxed, to take yet another sip of his drink. His eyes darting around, a clear sign that the lion, after needlessly feeling either cagey or caged, was now coming back from his feelings of vulnerability.

"Now onto what I really asked you here for..."

At this time she decided to reach into her purse & pulled out a small envelope & passed it to him. "Here... This is part one... I wanted to send this to you but I had no idea where to... Or if I should hold on to it, send it to where you live by Wales, or what have you... I'm so glad you agreed to meet... I can't go on forever trying to catch you between tours, y'know?..."

Robert saw the envelope had his name written on it in a curly script along with a few doodled flowers & the symbol for Leo in one corner with a drawing of a feather in a circle in the other. The corners of his mouth quirked as he ran his fingers over the lettering. The doodles were both Pagey's & Soraya's he could tell.

Upon opening the envelope the slight quirk of his mouth turned into a full beaming smile.

There inside were pictures of Jimmy... Soraya... And the baby... Pictures of the baby with each parent... With both... And ones clearly taken by either parent if not Scarlet herself... Indeed the young lad had his father's black hair... Long eyelashes framing strikingly familiar sleepy eyes that seemed to be settling into an equally familar shade of green if he wasn't mistaken... Pouted pink lip... And rosy cheeked flush...

"Aye..." He rasped again, feeling a lump in his throat. It tasted bittersweet. Both embarrassed at how he had chilled her & frightened her a second ago by thinking that this meeting might've been related to the past he wanted to leave passed. And memories of babies of his own from days long since past, that he wished could pass by again.

"Aye... Aye... Thank you... He's a bonny lad ain't he?...You and Pagey must be so proud..." Flipping the pictures over, he noted which had her handwriting & which had Pagey's tell tale scrawl denoting the various ages of the lad in ways like. "Dante Gabriel Page~ Aged 2 Mos~. 11lbs~"

"Yeah... He is a bonny boy... And very beautiful... Just like his daddy..." Soraya hushed, letting him have his moment unimpeded with his new gifts.

The lion snorted softly before adding. "And his mum..." A dimple popping in the corner of his cheek as his eyes flickered mirthfully to her with a waggle of his brows before returning to the pics at hand.

"There goes that lion..." She thought. "Incorrigible as ever..."

"Thank you... We are very proud..." Soraya smiled at seeing Robert caress the pics. Getting very silent once more as he was as well. Gazing at them intently. Holding them this way & that to get as best of a look as possible. Even pulling out his glasses to do so.

It was when he pulled out his glasses that she spoke again.

"As for part two..."

No response. Only a chuckle at a picture in which Jimmy was smiling as Dante suckled from his finger.

"I want you to meet him..."

Then came the reaction...

Then came the eyes, flickering up at her in shock from above his glasses...

"Meet him?"

"Yes... I want you to meet Dante... Or rather I want him to meet you... I want him to have a relationship with you... A good one... As Jimmy does... As I do... As his other kids do... It's only fair... It's only right... And while he of course might not know you yet or remember this first meeting later, I figure it's best to get him used to you so that when he's old enough to remember & know things & people there'll be no question that he'll know, remember & love you as all the kids do..."

Robert nodded thoughtfully, looking back to the pictures yet again...

"Again... Though it's no fault of your own... Or anyone's really... Regarding timing and all... I can't go forever trying to catch you between Jimmy's book tour & your music festivals & other such things..."

Another mute nod came as he flipped through the pics, seeming as lost in them as he was in his own thoughts.

If she wasn't mistaken, she could've sworn she saw a few extra drops of wetness rimming those sea blue eyes of his...

Misty eyes getting even mistier...

So Soraya decided to sweeten the deal with a promise, hoping to lift his spirits some in case the memories were more bitter than sweet...

"If you want you can even get him a onesie with the Wolves or a wolf on it... I won't mind..."

That did it...

That got a chuckle out of the old lion... Along with a slight sniffle & the wiping of his eyes as he nodded...

Yes, there were tears...

"I... I... I'd love to..."

"Really?" She gasped, clapping her hands together & giving a little bounce in her seat. "Oh Robert, that's wonderful! I knew you'd say yes! I was just a little worried I guess... That you'd think I asked you here because of that other question... The sleeping beast I mean..."

"Aww..." He patted her arm comfortingly, with a smile. "You had nothing to worry about, love... I assure you... Again I know you better than that..." Sniffling again & wiping back another tear as he put the beloved pictures away in the envelope & in his bag, he then added. "Again... Thank you... I can't thank you enough for these... When can we set this up?..."

"That's up to you, my wandering troubadour friend... We already know Glasto is unlikely... And I hear you're going abroad soon again... Think we can get this done before the end of the year?"

Now it was his turn to check his phone. "I should be free after my dates in Japan... Mid August to the first week of September is doable..."

Soraya clapped, beaming at her older friend. "Perfect! It could even be like an early or belated birthday present for you in a way! Even if we must reschedule... We will get this done somehow... I promise..."

"As do I..." He pledged, taking her hand with another kiss to the back. "It shall be done..."

[rpmemestorehouse]

2010′s Internet Memes Starters

Change wording as needed

“Are you frustrated?”

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I-”

“Let me tell you why that’s bullshit.”

“Oh stop it, you.”

“Aww yiss.”

“France is bacon.”

“That’s cute.”

“Lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot.”

“Has science gone too far?”

“...said no-one ever.”

“We need to go deeper.”

“Do you think this is a motherfucking game?”

“NOPE.”

“Oh baby, a triple!”

“Brushie brushie brushie~”

“Spooky scary skeletons!”

“FUCK YEA.”

“You could stop at five or six stores, or, just ONE.”

“You hear about video games?”

“Release the kraken!”

“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”

“ ‘It will be FUN’, they said!”

“You’ve been GNOMED!”

“Deal with it.”

“And not a single fuck was given that day.”

“It’s a double rainbow!”

“The rent is too damn high!”

“You jelly?”

“Challenge accepted.”

“Come at me bro!”

“Pootis!”

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Are you a wizard?”

“Bitch please!”

“I know that feel bro.”

“Shut up and take my money!”

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“NO.”

“I hope you step on a LEGO.”

“That really rustled my jimmies.”

“And then a skeleton popped out!”

“I’ve seen some shit.”

“gEnIuS!”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“This isn’t even my final form!”

“You had one job.”

“Kill me.”

“Majestic as FUCK.”

“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about [insert]?”

“I swear on me mum...”

“You have no power here!”

“REKT!”

“What a time to be alive.”

“If I pull that off, will you die?”

“It will be extremely painful...for you.”

“FUCK THIS GAY EARTH!”

“Hide the pain Harold.”

“Local man ruins everything.”

“Mom, get the camera!”

“I cri evrytiem.”

“The struggle is real.”

“I am the one who knocks!”

“Perfection.”

“This is the darkest timeline.”

“I’m about to end this man’s whole career.”

“I regret nothing!!!”

“I lied.”

“I’ve seen enough [insert] to know where THIS is going.”

“Oh god why-”

“Everyday I’m shufflin’-”

“You wot mate?”

“Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...”

“Man door hand hook car door-”

“Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already, Mom's spaghetti-”

“Oppa Gangnam style!”

“When [place] is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

“I only cried for 20 minutes.”

“Pepperidge Farm remembers.”

“Go home, [Name], you’re drunk.”

“Fuck me, right?”

“I should buy a boat.”

“2deep4you”

“Apply cold water to that burn.”

“420 blaze it!”

“That’s a nice new [insert]. It would be a shame if something happened to it...”

“I too, like to live dangerously.”

“You know nothing, [Name].”

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“Does this look like the face of mercy?”

“It was me, [OWN NAME]!”

“Stop trying to make [insert] happen! It’s not going to happen!”

“You merely adopted the darkness.”

“See? Nobody cares.”

“I will find you, and I will kill you.”

“I understood that reference!”

“Listen here, you little shit-”

“It’s an older meme, sir, but it checks out.”

“Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.”

“How do you do, fellow kids?”

“Ow, the edge!”

“*teleports behind you* Nothing personal, kid.”

“Pee is stored in the balls.”

“We have food at home.”

“You must be new here.”

“Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.”

“ERMAHGERD BERKS-”

“That’s the evilest thing I can imagine!”

“Dammit Moon Moon!”

“When u mom com home and make hte spagheti-“

“When will you learn? When will you learn?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!”

“helo would u like some of this hot choclety milk?”

“Be strong, [Name]. Be strong for Mother.”

“Ayy LMAO.”

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

“Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

“Heard you were talking shit!”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

“Look at me. I’m the captain now.”

“This could be us, but you playing.”

“They played us like a damn fiddle!”

“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“I’m in me mum’s car, broom broom!”

“Hand me the aux cord.”

“Press F to pay respects.”

“Trust nobody, not even yourself.”

“Anime was a mistake.”

“It’s just a prank, bro!”

“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.”

“Are ya winning, son?”

“Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.”

“I lived bitch!”

“You just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.”

“*chuckles* I’m in danger.”

“That wasn’t very cash money of you.”

“They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.”

“DEEZ NUTS-”

“Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.”

“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm oh my GOD, stop fuckin’ lyin’~”

“You’re gonna have a bad time.”

“I’m at soup!”

“IT’S TIME TO STOP!”

“Congratulations, you played yourself.”

“I’m you, but stronger.”

“This is fine.”

“Hello darkness my old friend~”

“Sosig.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne!”

“I have crippling depression!”

“WE ARE NUMBER ONE!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.”

“Take a fucking sip, babes.”

“Brother, may I have some oats?”

“God I wish that were me.”

“Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”

“Oh, worm?”

“Hewwo!”

“Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?”

“Am I a joke to you?”

“Let me in. LET ME IIIIIINNNNN!!!!!”

“You know I had to do it to ‘em.”

“Why is the FBI here?”

“Oh no baby what is you doin’???”

“Hey man, you see that guy over there?”

“Buenos días, [Name]!”

“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”

“Then perish.”

“Somebody toucha my spaghet!”

“My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.”

“Weird flex, but okay.”

“I’m baby.”

“STONKS!”

“OK, boomer.”

“Yep, this one’s going in my cringe compilation.”

“This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”

“All right then, keep your secrets.”

“They did surgery on a grape.”

“It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.”

“Look how they massacred my boy!”

“Bro! You just posted cringe! You are going to lose subscriber.”

“Wait, that’s illegal.”

“Bro, I’m straight-up not having a good time.”

“Gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants maybe?”

“I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move.”

“Say sike right now.”

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

heyyy, this is my first ask ever on this page so I'm not exactly sure how to start this, so ill just get right to it from one jonesy/zeppelin stan to another.

Robert apparently wrote Carouselambra about him being frustrated with Jonesy and Jimmy not being there for him after his son karac passed away,,, the song itself is great inho, it's my favorite off of ittod besides in the evening. The situation was tragic enough on it own, but it also put a huge strain on the relationships between the band members, it seems like. I can't pretend I know a whole lot about that part of their history in particular, just wanted to hear your take on it.

Hello my dear!! Welcome to my asks! I hope it is a cozy and pleasant experience. You are always welcome, no matter how inane, as I myself am the queen of inanity (I'm claiming it here and now folks).

^^ look at these boys in their 30s (36, 34, and almost 32 respectively, dear god)

In Through the Out Door is generally pretty fascinating. 'Carouselambra' in and of itself I think is one of those tracks that if it had been deeper into the canon (as if Zep had been able to make more albums), it would have been openly considered a masterpiece. That's actually how I feel about the whole album, but...instead, it causes consternation.

The track itself is one of my favorites as well. It's like Space Jam but everyone's on drugs and having a midlife crisis and WOW it's good. The actual inspiration for the track, as you say, I think was a combination of the highs and lows of Zeppelin and this includes Karac's death and the aftermath. 'Carouselambra' was originally called 'The Epic' -- I like to imagine the epic poetry it was being likened too and if epic poetry was still written and consumed the way we consume Homer and Virgil, that Zeppelin would be a perfect candidate. 'Tales of Brave Ulysses' could never.

The general consensus is that 'The Epic' was renamed 'Carouselambra' because that's what being in Zeppelin was like. Around and around on this gaudy mechanical and in the process these tragic things were happening and you only got fast glances at them or missed out on important things. And in the case of Karac, I'm sure Robert was grappling with the fact he just wasn't around (and I believe he's said as much).

This culminating with Jonesy and Jimmle not being at the funeral, which at the time, Robert had apparently said to Richard Cole, “Maybe they don’t have as much respect for me as I do for them. Maybe they’re not the friends I thought they were.”

Which is understandable! I mean, anyone that close to you dying, let alone a child. You would want your friends there (...if Robert considered Jonesy a "friend" to me is debatable considering his supposed tongue-in-cheek offer to Lita Ford to be the bassist for Zep in '77, but I'm just a bitter Jonesy stan (and I have plenty of theories and ideas about the Jones/Plant dynamic)). From what I've read, Jonesy was on family holiday, I imagine continuing with Maureen and the girls in the RV they rented for the second leg of the '77 tour -- he stole away after the Oakland debacle and drove it up to Seattle (this is from a glancing in Mick Wall's When Giants Walked the Earth, which I'm currently reading). Can that man get any more precious? And Jimmy was...Jimmy, heroin and all, although he's been quoted saying "We were all mates. We had to give the man some space.”

Potentially illustrating this, Robert commented on this in 2005: “The other guys were [from] the South [of England] and didn’t have the same type of social etiquette that we have up here in the North that could actually bridge that uncomfortable chasm with all the sensitivities required … to console.”

By ITTOD, though, we have our "relatively clean" camp friends Jones and Robert leading the charge and, I hope, having some good heart to hearts and enjoying each others' company. I really do wish we had more from that time, of that dynamic because I think it's a really interesting blip on the timeline given their distance mostly (I believe Robert said in 1971 that he had just started becoming friends with Jonesy, which I don't find hard to believe considering their opposite natures).

And then you get 'Carouselambra', all the nonsense and the mayhem boiled down into "why the fuck are we doing this"-edness. The kids are getting older, the tour is now a slog, and now you've got back pain. Kind of a sad carousel at the end of the day. “The whole story of Led Zeppelin in its latter years is in that song, and I can’t hear the words," Plant said, regarding how his voice is mixed lower than the keyboard in the first half. And there they were, in their 30s, and punk was on the rise and let's be honest, rock n' roll has never been a "middle years" kind of game.

But TO ME, that adds to the theatricality, to the idea that everything WAS getting lost and muddled. It's a brilliant, most likely unanticipated homage in my mind and Led Zeppelin WAS theatrical for as much as it was about the music, it was about the mythos and fable as well.

As a side note, I really hate how ITTOD is talked about for the most part as this like "lame keyboard album" when in fact, if Zeppelin had continued, it would serve as an LZ III/HotH vibe to me in that they could do whatever they want so they did and wow it was great. That's just my opinion, though, and I can definitely chalk it up to bias and also my love for Jonesy's post-Zeppelin work that really showcased just how fucking marvelous he is.

oh my god this got so long how did this get so long

This is just my take...I'm sure many people would be ready to contest what I have to say and that's just fine. 'Southbound Saurez' is one of my favorite Zep tracks and I stand by it.

I hope this was worth the time, lovely. Thank you for appearing in the asks and I hope you return someday. It was really lovely to take a journey into the more "academic" side of Zep...turns out I know quite a bit and I'm pretty good at rustling through the interwebs to find all the quotes I wanted to locate!

Feel free to correct me or engage in discourse kindly. I don't have time for negativity, I just turned 26 after all.

let it be known this is literally 950 words

[americxn]

Taking care of (some of) the Evans when they’re drunk

a/n: this was meant to stay in my drafts but the fic that I was meant to post tonight is taking a lot longer to finish than I thought it would so have this instead; I really don’t like this but I might as well post it if I can’t get anything else out tonight, sorry!

Warnings: alcohol mention, swearing

TATE LANGDON

- Tate doesn’t drink very often, but when he does he has a tendency to go a little too hard. - The two of you would decide to have a little party with just the two of you in the murder house, but by 11pm Tate was already staring right through you, his cheeks a rosy pink and his eyes half closed. - “I think we should just go to bed.” You would giggle, your hand coming to rest on the side of Tate’s face in an effort to get him to actually look at you properly. “You’re fucked.”  - He wouldn’t argue with you, allowing you to lead him the bathroom where you brush his teeth and get him to go to the toilet before taking him to bed. - Tate would hurry to shuck all his clothes off, his eyes trained on you as you slide into bed, smiling up at him and patting the exposed part of the mattress next to you. - “Lightweight.” You would joke as he snuggled into your side, causing him to scowl. “No, you just didn’t drink enough.” He would quietly slur, his eyes falling shut immediately as he moved to rest his cheek on your bare chest.

KIT WALKER - Kit would come home absolutely wasted after going out for drinks with his friends, throwing the door open and stumbling into the house. - You would already be in bed, but not being able to sleep until he was home safe, and the sound of the door banging open would cause you to shoot up, padding barefoot to the kitchen where Kit was stood in disorientation by the kitchen sink. - “Kit?” You would whisper, causing him to turn towards you, stumbling slightly, with a sleepy grin. “Hey.” He would whisper back. “Are you okay?” You would rush over to him as he attempted to take a step towards you, teetering dangerously on his feet. “Yeah.” He would answer sleepily, his weight heavy as he leaned onto you, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Geez,” you would laugh. “It’s not like you to let yourself get this fucked.” - Kit’s head would snap up, once again throwing off his balance and causing him to stumbled, you trying your best to keep a hold of him. “Are you annoyed at me?” He would grumble with a frown at your comment, to which you would shake your vigourously. “No! No, god no. I just haven’t seen you like this before. I don’t care how much you drink as long as you come home to me eventually, you know this.” - Kit would giggle then, mumbling a “yeah, I guess I do.” - It would be a struggle to help him walk down the short hall to your shared room, his weight almost causing your own knees to buckle as he leaned himself onto you. Already half-asleep on his feet, trying to get him into the bathroom and clean him up before putting him to bed would’ve been impossible, so you simply let him flop onto the bed face first, moving to take off his jacket and shoes. - He was already snoring when you crawled back into bed beside him, his weight on top of the covers making it hard for you to get comfortable beneath them. But you didn’t care, just relieved that he came home to you, miraculously in one piece.

(franken)KYLE SPENCER

- The first time that Kyle drank alcohol after his death was disastrous.  - He had seen you drinking plenty of times and knew that when you went to parties, leaving Kyle for a rare evening on his own in the house, the bag that you would take with you was full of various bottles of drink, the sound of them clinking together from within the bag always intriguing him.  - You had walked into the kitchen one evening to see Kyle angrily pulling at the top of a beer bottle, his teeth gritted in effort as he tried to open it. You watched for a second, amused, before hurrying over when he slammed the top of it down against the table. Intervening, you took the bottle from his hand. - “Careful, you’ll either smash it or hurt your hands trying to get it open.” He only stared at you, panting angrily. “You want to try some?” You would ask, moving around his hard-set body to the drawers and pulling out your bottle opener. He nodded with a grunt, playing with his fingers in irritation as he watched you open the bottle. - “Here.” You held it out to him, leaning against the table and watching as he tipped back his head, drinking deeply. Immediately, his head righted itself, the drink sputtering from his lips onto the floor. You laughed. “It’s gross, huh?” - “Why?” He screeched. “Because... I don’t know. I don’t drink beer.” At his horrified look at the bottle of beer in his hand you giggled. “Do you want to try something else? That’s gross, try something that I like, I think you’ll probably like it to.” - Retrieving a bottle of cheap rose from a high-up shelf in your kitchen, you poured him a glass. The wine was sickly sweet and easy to drink, one of the reasons that you drank it so often, but drink enough of it and it would have you vomiting after a bottle, blacking out after two. Needless to say, Kyle drained his glass, then the next and the next. - An hour later, he lay sated on the couch, his eyes half-open and grinning up at you. He wouldn’t talk, he would merely stare at you in wonder, and you would stare right back, unsure of why you thought that it was a good idea to let him drink in the first place - Finally, you convinced him to let you drag him up the stairs to bed, his grunts and grumbles as you did so incessant. It was often hard enough to get Kyle to brush his teeth properly anyway so you settled on letting his collapse into a heap on top of the covers. However, as soon as his eyes fell shut, they flew open again, Kyle shrieking and jumping back to his unsteady feet. You lurched forwards just in time to catch him. - “What? Kyle, what’s wrong?” You asked, panicked as he twisted in your arms and buried his face in your neck, his fingertips shaky as he gripped onto the front of your shirt. “Moved.” He explained, throwing out a pointed finger to the bed behind him. It took you a while to coax a coherent answer from Kyle, by which point he was already half asleep on his feet with his head rested on your shoulder.  - The way the room span when Kyle lay down on the bed really freaked him out and you had to explain to him that it happened to you to, it was just the alcohol. But, still, he refused to lie back down with him until you agreed to sleep right next to him, which you obliged him on instantly. - He was up a total of three times that night vomiting his guts up, you spending the entire time kneeling on the cold tiles of the bathroom behind him, hating yourself for letting him drink in the first place.  

JIMMY DARLING - It took Jimmy a few months to slowly ease his way back into drinking for pleasure after his mother’s death and the addiction that ensued. - At first, he would only have a glass of wine or a bottle of beer here or there while the rest of you drank heavy liquor at your weekly camp parties. - But eventually, when he was sure that he wasn’t going to over do it and fall back into his old habits, he was drinking the same amount as everyone else again. - One night in particular, you decided to go back to yours and Jimmy’s shared caravan after the Saturday evening show instead of staying out with the others to celebrate another successful week. You were tired, you just wanted to sleep. - You were awoken in the middle of the night with a jolt when Jimmy came crashing and stumbling through the door of your caravan, the reek of cheap beer hanging around him and filling the small space almost instantly. - You groaned, throwing the covers over your head as he tried to close the door quietly.  - You heard his not-so-light footsteps as he made his way over to you, trying in vain to be as quiet as possible. It was silent for a moment before you heard Jimmy whisper from beside your head: “Hey. Y/n?” - “Yes?” You whispered back, praying that he would just get into bed next to you and fall asleep. But of course he would do no such thing. “Are you awake?” He asked under his alcohol-soaked breath. “No.” You grumbled, causing him to sigh. “Okay, I’ll... wait.” You heard the grin in his tone at his realisation and threw the covers back to reveal your face and sleep-tousled hair. - “Hi.” He breathed, his breath soaked with the reek of alcohol. When you merely stared at him, unamused, he continued. “I’m really hungry, would you like something to eat?”  - At your dismissal, he frowned, standing and making his way to the the small kitchenette, his foot falls heavy. The sound of cupboards opening and packets rustling drew you from the reach of sleep once more and you sat up, the covers falling off your shoulders as you beheld his bulky outline in the dark. - “Wait.” You hissed, forcing yourself into action and sliding off the bed. “You’ll burn the caravan down if you try to make anything.” He giggled as you approached him, pausing by the door to switch on the lights. “What do you want? I’ll have to make it for you.”