#one of my goals for this year was to read more

[justhugsplz]

One of the most amazing classes this semester was the session on deserts in my human and more-than-human ecologies class, it blew my mind to realize that the way I thought of deserts was just a Western, colonial relict of French geographers who encountered a landscape they hadn't seen yet and didn't know how to deal with, so they deemed it inhospitable and harsh (despite people who had been living there for thousands of years having managed to adapt and live there just fine). Add an unfortunate prolonged drought in the Sahel region in the 70s or so into the mix and the idea of deserts as inherently inhospitable and vulnerable regions got baked into how the West views deserts. Unfortunately those same colonial geographers then formed the UN gremiums on deserts, hence why 'greening the desert' and similar ideas continue to be policy goals

To pass on a reading recommendation from that class: "Who fears Death" by Nnedi Okorafor, set in a desert region

say it with me: deserts aren't inherently bad. deserts are very important and are home to many ecosystems. you want an unhealthy, over-exploited desert to become a healthy, thriving desert. you don't want an unhealthy, over-exploited desert to become a forest. deserts and forests are distinct, separate biomes that are both indispensable. you want to see them both at their best. and a desert at its best doesn't look like a forest at its best. they're each beautiful in their own way.

[starconstruction]

Ok!! I would love to see something with Choerry!! I can suggest tags I would particularly love, but plot I would have to brainstorm 😅

Tags: Heavy impregnation(!!!!!!!!), belly bulge, squirting&multiple orgasms, deepthroating, nipppleplay/breasfeeding, thighjobs/feet. I saw you like yandere. Maybe some heavy jealousy?

Literally anything you’d like !!

Plot suggestions are here just cause I’d feel bad just asking for a member and you doing all the heavy creative writing (but please do anything you’d like with it if you have an idea you want!!): coworker lip makes choerry jealous, forcing her to make m!reader remember who she belongs to.

Or maybe she tags along with? Anything you desire!! Hope to read it someday!

Thanks

Jealous Loving Partner

Yandere Choerry x Male Reader (Smut)

Smut Tags: Impregnation, multiple orgasms (both people), foot worship, foot job, feet kink, deepthroating, edging, belly bulge, squirting, creampie, riding, nipple sucking.

Crazy first ask, thank you for submitting! I hope it is up to your standards, I only feel a bit of shame.

WC: 2046

not proof read

The monotous clicking of your keyboard resonated through the sterile office, scents of an overabundance of old paper, laying anywhere and everywhere there was space, on the tables, on the floor, in cabinets. The intense workload was stressing you beyond relief. You were one of the only few employees left at this ungodly hour, it paid extraordinary amounts of money, but 80 hour work weeks has their toll on your body.

You sipped on your coffee, the comforting taste of dirt filled your mouth. It was disgusting however it gave you vital energy. Only one more hour and you can finally go home to your loving partner, Choerry. You two had been together for a little over 4 years, she was quite intense. Only a penny drop away at any moment, her messages frequently popped up. She could message you 10-20 times an hour and would get sad if you didn't respond to every single one. But apart from being a bit obsessive she was perfect.

You were engrossed in your work, ignoring the bright bursts of light that radiated from your phone, desperate to finish those projects that haunted you, a gentle hand pressed against your shoulder, distracting you from your goals. It was your coworker, you knew very little about her. Her brown hair laid flush on her shoulder, she was wearing a grey cardigan, shoulders exposed as she looked at your computer.

"Hey, sorry to bother you. Y/N right?" She said, voice quiet as she got your attention.

"Yeah, what do you need?" You replied, pulling away from your desk to give her your full attention.

"I have an issue with my computer, I'm on graveyard shift so I cant call someone else later, you're really my only hope." She looked down at the ground, giving a pleading smile.

"Sure I'll help"

-

What you hoped would be a small few minute job ended up being an entire hour long venture, the computer locked her with violence and aggression. Kim Lip, she said her name was. Her conversation was light as you two sprung words between each other, leaving work to the side as you fought tooth and nail to get this working.

Your shift was over, you being able to finally get out this office for the next few hours. "Alright Kim Lip, I'm out for the night." Slinging your bag over your shoulder, getting ready to leave when she stopped you. "I'll walk with you" she said. Coming behind you as you two left the building.

Your jaw dropped, Choerry was waiting for you outside. Staring daggers into you and Kim Lip, her feet digging into the ground, stomping as she dragged you away from her. "Piss off" she barked, venom spitting out of her words. Kim Lip looked at you in confusion as you got put into the passengers seat of the car.

Choerry opened the driver's seat as she clambered in, the air filled with tension. You watched in fear as she turned on the car. The music cranked all the way up, her face was an unreadable anger. Not sparing you a glance as you two sat in painful silence. You were in for it the second you got home.

--

Choerry pressed you into the wall of your shared bedroom, her body resting against you as she pulled your clothes off, fabric teared as she grabbed your shirt with reckless abandon. Buttons popped out as her hand gripped your chest, squeezing and groping every part of your torso. "Who the fuck was that?!" she growled, her teeth biting into your neck as you gasped in pain. "Are you fucking cheating on me with that whore?!" she continued.

"What? Choerry she's my co-worker." You said, trying to soothe her unrelenting anger. Choerry's biting got even sharper, blood drawing on everywhere her teeth dug into. "I don't fucking believe you!" Her hands playing with your pants as she shoved them down with your underwear in one fell swoop.

Her hand roughly stroked your cock, aggressively going up and down with no care for your pleasure. "Bet you wish it was her? She looked pretty maybe you wish it was her!" Choerry shouted, pumping her hand on your dick. Pained gasps left your mouth as she showed no signs of slowing down. "Choerry I-" She cut you off. "Shut up! You will take what I give!"

Her eyes stared up at you, intense orbs of anger. Her lips brushed against your tip, taking you into her awaiting mouth as she bopped up and down, licking your dick from the tip to the base, her blonde hair fired everywhere as she kept sucking, heavenly sensations shot over your cock, your hands desperately grabbing onto the wall. Fearing what would happen if you dare touched her.

Choerry's lips pressed against your crotch, breathing in your scent as your cock laid jammed in her mouth, drool formulated all over you as it started to overflow, dripping out the corners of her lips, landing on your balls as she held you there, your dick fully wrapped in Choerry's mouth.

She finally pulled away, giving you a second of respite from the luxury of her mouth. Her anger still fully visible, you were in the eye of the storm. Her hands braced you as she thrusted you into her mouth once more. Much rougher than before, gagging all over your length, vibrations pulsing on your tip, her head game was divine. You felt your orgasm on the verge of the horizon. "Choerry darling I'm going to cum!" as soon as those words left your mouth, her mouth withdrew. The sensation of being edged burned, leaving a painful singe in her absence.

You couldn't begin to complain as your body was thrown onto the bed. Bouncing against the mattress as your body landed in the middle, Choerry approached the bed, swaying her hips as she got to the edge. She looked so hot, a beacon of danger and desire. Her hand reached into her bed compartment, pulling out a gleaming pair of handcuffs. Trapping you against the bed.

"Baby, you need to make up for your cheating." Her hand ran up and down your chest, goosebumps coated your body as you shuddered.

"I didn't chea-" A strong force came down on your face. "I said no talking!" Her actions brought fear to you, Choerry has always seemed possessive but this was so out there. You swallowed your saliva as she took off the lower half of her clothes, throwing them everywhere and anywhere.

She sat down on your legs, crushing them slightly as she Choerry's feet pressed up against your nose, the intense stench of sweat filled your nostrils, her soles rubbed against your lips, the salty taste of sweat lingered on your mouth as she kept playing with your mouth. "Clean them off, show me how much you love me" She beamed a terrifying smile as your tongue went up and down, tasting more of her sweat as you lapped her feet clean.

Choerry jammed her foot into your awaiting mouth, swirling your tongue around her toes, wiping the dirt away as you gave her what she wanted. The loss of power intoxicated you as you took every action, her other foot trailed your body, finding it's way to your shaft. Still rock hard and throbbing as she grinded her foot all over it. Muffled gasps combined with gags as her foot pressed against the back of your mouth.

Her foot rubbed you violently, the sensation too much to handle as she got off on your misery, your loving partner turning into a demon in the bedroom. Choerry's foot withdrew from the depths of your mouth, saliva dripping on your chest as you caught your breath. "Good boy! You are being so good." She wrapped both her feet around your length, working harmoniously as she grinned, the feeling of her soles was soft and undeniably perfect. Bucking your hips under the pressure of Choerry's nonstop actions, the familiar feeling of the orgasm trying to come out yet again, her feet rubbed your balls and you felt seconds from unloading.

"No. You don't have the right." Her voice laced with a thick venom as she channeled her inner sadism, feet withdrawn as she got off your legs. You whined when she left the room, forcing you to lay there and contemplate your feelings. She was back promptly, the rest of her clothes removed. Holding something in her hands.

"You see these?" Her hand revealed a set of pills. You gulped. "That's right honey.. My birth control, I don't think we need them anymore. You'd agree right?" Panic seized your body as she stared at you, awaiting the correct answer. Your throat went dry as you thought about all the consequences of every possible answer. She wasn't just speaking from the loving woman she was usually, coming from a deep wish to have you by any means necessary.

"I'm waiting." She spoke bluntly, getting clearly frustrated as she stood there, this wasn't logical, wasn't normal. But deep down you wanted to take the next step with her. "Yes. Choerry. My love, let's go further." She smiled sweetly, throwing those pills into the wall as she approached.

Choerry straddled your body, right above your shaft as it pointed against her cunt, rubbing against her, getting the tip wet in her essence. A deep breath came from her mouth as her body lowered into yours. Her walls clamped down on you, the first inch being tortuous as she started to sink down, the sensation was overwhelming. Loud gutteral moans came from your lips as Choerry started screaming, "Fuck... My love! Your dick is so good, I love you!" she gasped, bouncing up and down violently as the bed shook. "I love you!"

Her fingers dug into your chest, leaving red marks as you met her halfway, skin slapping as your crotches connected. You knew you weren't going to last very long after her precious edging. She could sense your closeness as you thrusted more irregularly, "That's right baby, make me a mommy! Cum in me!" She let out a satisfied moan as you shot your load into her pussy, giving her the present she wanted. "Hmmm that feels good.. Your cum is so warm.." Her body gasped, she kept bouncing despite your sensitivity. Pain erupted all over your body for the 5th time today.

"Choerry please.. Slow down" Your voice was pained as you laboured to speak, it seemed to only spur her on as she kept bouncing, even stronger as she started gripping on you even more intensely. "Fuck fuck! I'm gonna cum baby!" She shouted as your shaft fucked your cum further into her. Large amounts of her liquid shot over your shared bed as she came undone.

She held herself there as she let you relax, no thoughts were in your head as you breathed in the shared scent of sweat and sex, your hands laid on your bed as Choerry smiled at you. "I think you can go another round yeah? Really make sure I get pregnant" You really couldn't go another round, but her smile was so disarming. Nodding as she started picking up the pace. You ignored the burning sensation in your loins as she moaned.

Choerry leaned forward, holding you up as she brought her breasts to your mouth, "Suck on my nipples baby, imagine how full they'll be when you knock me up." Her voice was glazed over as you took her left boob into your mouth, sucking on her bountiful bosom, her skin slightly sweet to the taste as she arched her back. "Fuckk keep sucking, right there." Her hands pressed into the back of your head, clinging onto strands of your hair.

Your orgasm hit like a tsunami as you shot another load into her awaiting body, biting her nipple as you doused it in saliva. Your orgasm triggered a chain reaction, another douse of her squirt hit the bed. She removed your hungry mouth from her breasts, smiling. Her stomach was bulging with your load, completely stuffing her.

"You are mine, completely now baby. No more co-workers."

She was batshit insane, but she was yours, and you were hers.

[femslashbigbang]

hello! is there a reason that genderbends arent allowed? iirc they were allowed in previous years. i plan on creating original work for this year but am curious.

Mostly because the specific intentions/spirit of this challenge is about engaging with female characters (trans and non-binary inclusive, ofc. We will not tolerate transphobic notions) and their love for each other.

As a fandom thing, rule 63/genderswap stuff can be great (and a classic fandom tradition), don't get me wrong, but not what I want this challenge to be about. Like, it wasn't a huge part of previous years if at all really, but I did want to be more intentional about ensuring canon female characters (again with trans and non-binary inclusivity) were 100% prioritised.

Like, the challenge to me isn't just about increasing the amount of femslash in the world (although that's the primary goal), but really thoughtfully looking at canon female characters and celebrating the relationship/s they have or could have with each other.

(ofc there's some grey areas, especially with canon non-binary or ambiguous gender characters, or even ones with some very funky gender things going on that may not be explicitly stated in canon as trans, but could arguably be read as such. Idk case by case on that really if anyone is unsure)

I'll link this older post re: Femslash February & Rule 63 from the girlgay dreamwidth which I think really has a great discussion in the comments around the topic that sums up my feelings.

Tldr: Rule 63/Genderswap/bend = great fandom tradition with merit in its own right, but ultimately not within the spirit of a femslash centric challenge.

- Lore

[arliaeien]

This makes me think about my evolution as a writer.

My first long fic, as a new writer, I used to consider a chapter done around 2k~2,5k words. That's around 10 pages in Word.

Rewriting this same story one year later, it grew between 3,5k~5k. At the same time, as a reader, I was enjoying more and more the longer chapters (between 5k~10k).

There had been a long time while I only was writing one-shots, then engaging as a beta reader, making translations... To sum up: not writing stories, and even less, ones needing me to arrange a new story in different chapters.

Some years ago, I dedicated myself to the rewriting of my first story (the last I've done) and had those quite big chapters (around 7k), I was happy with, and that didn't make me think, except that one time, I had to cut one too big in two smaller ones. Those chapters were in no way a 'one idea, one chapter' thing like. The cuts were rather happening when there was a change about the place, and/or time passing.

And when I started writing the sequel of this 80k story, about the characters meeting monthly, I just wrote a one-shot for every month. Whatever it was 10k, 20k or even 30k.

It's not written in English and the fandom was almost dead for the last ten years. There were no readers (think like 30 hits in five years on AO3). So why should I have cared? The big one-shot was what I personally prefer.

Came year 2021. New fandom, existing fan base in English, no one in my mother tongue. And I've gotten this idea of post-canon story. One, nobody had done before me. Or rather, nobody had done it, the way I wanted it to be. It's this that has triggered me trying to write in English. ...probably succeeding, at some point. It is a 70k, in the end.

First long story in a while, whatever the language was different, I've kept the same tastes and methods, reflecting over the construction of the story, and ended up having chapter between 5k~7,5k. My goal was quite easy : three main ideas / scenes making one chapter. Providing long chapters to readers was what's important to me, because that's what I love myself.

Up to these last years. I'm working on a monster story (156k ongoing \o/). I didn't have any plan, starting writing it. My first chapter was a two-big-scenes, around 3K words, which I consider cool enough. Second chapter... was happening later, somewhere else. And I ended up having four-big-scenes, 7k words. Yeah, could cut this in two parts. Except number 3 was 3-big-scenes and 5k words. Go tear your own hair out. This was difficult to me. I couldn't work with chapters with sizes so different. It wasn't me. It didn't feel good. I couldn't see how anyone could actually enjoy such variations. How could it be considered otherwise than "Oh yeah, one long/short chapter!" / "Oh no, one long/short chapter!" depending on the reader's taste.

How long is not the point. REGULARITY was the point.

So my badly proportionate 'chapters' became 'arcs'. And every arc, was cut around 1,5k words. One idea, two maximum, and cut! I loved this. Writing fanfictions about one manga whose chapters were arranged to form arcs, it felt like respecting the canon better. Felt great!

...well, I was still myself. My goal of going between 1,2k~2k words for one chapter become 1,5k~2k. Then 2,5k. Today, I'm a little annoyed proofreading, having to fight against myself for some of them not going over 3k. Not too bad, but not what I wanted.

This to say: I'm living a paradox. The way I publish this story wouldn't suit me as a reader. 1,5k or even 2k a week is to me desperately slow.

I just can't. Re-reading some moments of the story for pleasure, or working on it, I usually go with 3 of them. Sometimes 4. All by instinct, not caring whether it's an arc or crossing two or more of them. Because the 5k~10k is what work for me as a reader :P

So, what's my point?

The ideal length doesn't exist. It's a matter of skill, and of feelings, but not only. My ideal length as a new writer was different from 2-years experience me, 5-years, 10-years, and now 18-years experience me. Sometimes I've cared about reader-experience, sometimes I haven't. I have loved the years producing the fattest one-shots. It's unrivaled freedom writing something. But even without arranging chapters, there were breaks, cutting scenes, the reader was able to breathe. And nowadays, publishing weekly for one year and a half, I use a format I wouldn't like myself but readers seems to enjoy (and that's strangely the same as the one I once used as a beginner : 2,5k per chapter).

...perhaps all this is a circle. ⚪

While looking for something else, I found an old ask I answered about "ideal chapter length" in terms of word count.

I've been asked this probably a dozen or more times, and each time I need to take a moment and adjust my thinking to take the asker's point of view into account. Because the thing is? The only time I ever try to factor the word count into how I write a story is when I'm aiming for a true drabble.

For whatever reason, this difference in thinking stuck with me today and I actually considered why that might be. And I think it's because I'm in my 40s and the first 25-30 years of my life, any stories I was reading were printed on paper and bound into physical books.

When I imagine a novel, I still think of a mass market paperback on my bookshelf. An average one would be maybe an inch thick, probably in the neighbourhood of 300 pages. A long one would be maybe as much as two inches thick and 500 or more pages long. A short one was always nice to have because it filled in the gaps in the shelf because 200 page books were so much narrower. Or so it seemed.

When I started posting my fic online, I still thought in terms of pages. I'd type them out in whatever word processing software I was using at the time, and I'd usually get a chapter's worth of ideas into 3 or 4 pages. Turns out that's about 1000 words, which makes sense with the number of 1000 word essays I wrote in high school. I'd been trained to encapsulate an idea into approximately that length.

And that's what it comes down to. The thing that always made that question seem weird to me. A chapter isn't about how many words there are in it, just like a cake isn't about how many cups of flour exist in each slice. A chapter is a an idea that helps make up a bigger idea called a story, and it needs to be however many words that idea needs to be to get it out.

[unstablegoldfish]

[Your Gentle Comfort] 18+

Story Summary: Your interest in boys didn’t really exist in your life. It wasn’t because you were against romance, but mainly for the fact that all the boys in your school were— well, boys. It wasn’t until you met your new teacher and had a relationship growing with him that you realized, you wanted a man.

Black Sheep - Chap 3

Joel Miller x F!reader - Teacher x F!Student

Warning: AGE GAP: After all it is a highschool student x teacher. Light swearing. Slow burn story. Being neglected by your parents. Emotional confrontation. [More will be added as the story progresses.]

Word Count: 2.9k (Wish it was longer, but you've been waiting long enough)

Chapter 2 -> Click here! Chapter 4 -> TBD

Fic Masterlist -> Click here!

Chapter Summary: Unsure of what the day will hold this time. But you're still looking forward to seeing Joel Miller even knowing that you're going to have a chat with him about what's going on. It's okay, you can do it.

————————————————————————————

Another day rolls around, after everything yesterday brought, you weren't sure how everything would go today. Looking outside your window from bed you at least knew you wouldn't be walking through rain on the way to school. Only walking with light clouds.

You lived in Oregon so rain wasn't completely uncommon nor were the clouds. Nearing September it was pretty frequent to have rainfalls. Just not as heavy as yesterday.

You had gotten dressed, wearing jeans and your favorite zip-up sweater. You packed your bag and made your lunch. Brushed your teeth and put on socks. You were ready to get going to school. You said goodbye to your empty house, leaving you with an empty soul.

The leaves were starting to fall onto the sidewalks, and the weather was becoming chillier. Your perfect kind of weather was just on the horizon. It's sad to know that this'll be your last year of walks during the fall season. So you'll take as much of it in as possible.

You finally made it to the sidewalk of the front doors. Opposite to you, Mr. Miller was walking along as well. He must have come from the staff parking lot. At this rate you were going to arrive at the same time.

"Mornin', how's it goin'?" he asks in a friendly manner. He definitely wanted to check up on you.

His smile was warm. "Morning." was said softly from your voice. You try and shoot a smile, but it wasn't hiding anything from how you were feeling. "Doin' okay." Was the best you could say.

You guys walk up to the door and he holds it for you, he was polite.

"Give me a shout. whenever." He was trying his best to make sure you knew he was someone you could talk to, he didn't want it to seem like he only cared once.

You hummed a simple yes and followed him down to class.

Most teachers would say they were there for you, but would never follow up on it. You never blamed them, there's more students then just you after all.

You and Mr. Miller entered the classroom. It was just going to be the two of you for awhile, you'd never show up this early but recently you've had a motivation to do so. Just happens that the motivation was the only one in the room with you in this moment.

Should I say something?

"Mr. Miller...?"

"S'up?"

"I just wanted to thank you for everything, especially for the ride home. I...I didn't mean to tear up on you before I left your car, it's just that I know my house is empty and cold. Not really the best thing to come home to."

Unsure if that made any sense, you tried to continue.

"It's just you— you've shown me warmth in the first 2 days, closest I've ever felt to the sun if you get me...?"

"Well, I’m real glad I could make ya feel a little better. My goal as a teacher’s makin’ sure everybody knows they got a safe place here. But listen, you ain’t ever gotta apologize for cryin’, alright? Given the circumstances, it’s ‘bout as normal as can be."

you smile, it was comforting to hear that. Especially in his voice. The feelings you felt for him were dangerous. You were a match ready to be lit, but only by him. If you ever wanted things to move another direction it would be by your own accord.

"Gonna pull ya outta class today to talk a bit more, if that’s alright with ya?"

you give a nod as you made your way through the desks.

You took a seat at your desk and Mr. Miller talked to you about his sheep farm fantasies, and how he ended up becoming a teacher in the first place. You enjoyed this time with him and you thought you should come into school earlier from now on. You wanted one on one time with him badly. Now that you had his warmth you wouldn't be able to leave it behind. You made sure to look at the time to remember just how early. You just hoped Mr. Miller was a persistent guy when it came to timing.

Some students started joining the class, along with your tiny awareness friend. He sat beside you but no conversation arose.

You grabbed your pencils and booklet out of your bag and started writing even before class started. Granted it never really felt like work when you wrote for English, it relaxed you more than anything.

You peaked up from your papers to see Mr. Miller studying you. His arm rested on his desk with his finger to his lip. He was in deep focus, but as soon as he caught your eyes he glanced down at his book. When he made moves like that, the want to act upon it became stronger.

Your friend whispers over to you “He’s eyeing you up again, what’s going on? Also you never told me why you stayed after class the other day??”

That was the first time he’s ever asked that many questions at once. Since when did he care so much about what happens to you?

“I think you’re being weird. But he talked to me about my paper. That’s all.” you whisper back. You still wanna deny what your friend thinks he’s seeing, but if it was obvious to your clueless buddy it's just a matter of time before more people catch on, no?

You hear the bell ring as a few other classmates scurry into the door. Mr. Miller had stood up from his corner to greet the class. He began to use the chalk against the board.

"Weekend Activities" was what he revealed. "Go on and get started writin’. Y’all got ten minutes to finish up this assignment, then I’ll get ya rollin’ on our project work."

He makes his way back over to his desk. He calls you over with a smile.

You made your way over, he looks at you with with soft eyes.

"Do you mind if we step outside for a minute?" He asks with caution, not trying to overwhelm you. You knew it was coming but you didn't think it would be this soon.

"Oh".

You then remembered the clothes he had given to you to borrow from yesterday. However...you forgotten them at home. He leads you out into the hallway. Before he even got a chance to speak you started.

"If this is about....the clothes. I forgot them. I'm sorry." you whisper hoping no one would hear you.

he lets out a quiet chuckle. "No, no. It's fine, I ain’t got no use for 'em anyhow. Keep 'em, girlie."

GIRLIE?

Left in shock he began to speak regardless. "Let's have a conversation in my office 'kay?" His tone was calming. You knew what he was about to ask you. You probably hold the record for the amount of teachers watchlists you're on. At least they tried to care unlike your parents.

You weren't really sure how Mr. Miller was going to approach this situation however, would it be different? With his ways of authority and softness being well balanced, and your quick liking to him, maybe opening up more wouldn't be such a bad thing.

He had unlocked the office door once more. Inside revealed a cleaner space, less boxes, lots of books. The sheep figurines and trinkets still stayed around. It was comforting to see.

"Kept your sheep then?" You ask.

"Couldn't possibly get rid of 'em." He paused and picked up one. "This one here reminds me of back home."

He hands you a magnet, one that had a heard of white sheep and dead center in the middle was a black one. The fence read "Long Creek Oregon". He was originally from there?

"It's cute." you chuckle. You're preceptive, so you think this is his way of saying he feels the same as you. A black sheep in all the white ones.

"Back home, I weren’t much different from you. Had to fend for myself, no safety net to catch me. Bein’ on your own like that—it’s a mighty scary place to be." His eyes placed softly on you, looking up from the figurine you felt your eyes lightly glazed with tear when you met his eyes. He gets it.

"S'ummin' you feel the same way?" He pauses and lets out a breath.

You stutter to start. You felt safe, and with him you felt an immense sense of trust. "I do… It’s just really hard being on my own all the time—expected to have all the answers by myself."

You reach over and give him back the magnet. Instead of taking it, he closes your hand softly. His hand, twice the size of yours. He was a protector.

"It’s yours, girlie. Whenever ya look at it, just remember, that sheep’s me too." He smiles back at you softly. He caresses your hand with his thumb before letting go.

"Thank you, but are you sure?"

"Most definitely" He gives you a reassuring smile. "‘Fore we head out, anything else ya wanna talk about?"

You wanted to express more of the pain your parents leave you in your daily life, or the fact your friends left you high and dry in a more in depth layer then your written assignment ever would. But it would be best to save it for another time, you wanted to save yourself from the puffy eyes and red cheeks as much as possible.

"Always, but better to save it for now. I appreciate this so much Mr.Mill-"

"Joel. It's Joel."

Your eyes were finally letting the tear slide down your cheek. His thumb reaches out to catch it.

"S'okay. I'm here for when you're ready. Only if ya want me to be. Not gonna push you into nothin' kay?" You gave him a nod. You were ever so grateful for his considerations of your feelings.

He lead you again outside of his office. You had let him know you were going to head to the bathroom again to wash up, you didn't want to be returning with tears in your eyes.

You went for a walk and decided to go to the bathroom across the school this time, during the walk you thought about his hand placement on you. Never did you ever want to give the same in return before. The idea of caressing his face was stuck in your head for awhile. You'd never think you'd want to do something like that with anyone. But after all, Joel. Joel was different. It rung in your head for a bit. Joel Miller.

You walked into the bathroom, only to be surprised by one of the girls in your past friend groups. You looked down in order to not be an upset. Then headed into one of the stalls. The beauty of a high school bathroom was the immense amount of graffiti. You'd look through it in enjoyment, but not this time. Your name was written above a drawing of a crying face. It was fine. You expected something like this to happen, they never liked how closed off you were. But deep down they were just hungry for some drama to spread around, and you knew that better then they did.

You let out a sigh. Then went to wash your hands, your old friend had left. At least you had an idea on who did it. Not like you were going to act upon it anyways, it's not like it bothered you. Right?

You slowly walked back to class, trying to enjoy it since you knew that these days were going to come to an end anyways. What was the rush?

You opened the door to class, everyone was working on their projects and there was some conversation. You were gone long enough for people to probably assume you were in the main office for something.

Mr. Miller had looked up from his desk. You met his gaze but decided to look away.

You joined your friend back at your desk, he looked at you and could tell you had an encounter.

"What happened this time?" He asks.

"A drawing in the bathroom stall. Better yet with my name."

He laughs. "Pathetic, honestly."

You nodded your head in agreement. What a waste of energy.

When you got to your desk you realized you hadn't even started the project due to the amount of times you've already been pulled out of class. You grabbed the sheet that was given as a handout yesterday to refer to. Maybe instead of dreaming about Mr. Miller this time, you could do some work.

...Oh light work. No need to worry.

You started writing your ideas out. Trying not to occasionally glance at Mr. Miller in curiosity. But with the restraint you held you managed to finish the project within 15 minutes. You were among the first students to hand it in even despite you missing most of the class this morning. Thank god you love writing.

You took the rest of class to do your own free writing. But during this time your focus was divided between your journal and Mr. Miller. You got so lost in thought that you ended up writing about him.

You were so invested in writing that you hadn't even noticed that Mr. Miller was no longer in his seat. He was no where to be found.

"That's a very lovely poem." Came from a calming tone behind you. You look and it was Mr. Miller.

Fuck.

he just read out your feelings. He knows.

"Um, yeah it's stupid really." You said shakenly. You didn't know what to do, how would he react? I was his student. He wasn't supposed to know.

"Not at all." He replied. He walked past and you got a glimpse of a smirk on his face, and the slight shake of his head.

What am I gonna do ‘bout ya, darlin'?

Fuck...

He was hot.

Just like that the bell had rang. It was time to go to our next class.

————————————————————————————

Okay, only took me a literal year. Not actually. I just didn't have the motivation for this at the time. I had just gotten a laptop recently that made this a breeze to create. However I did wish it was a little longer, but I can use that for next chapter as you guys have waited LONG enough for this one. So sorry, but thank you for your continued support for this to happen!! Love you guys endlessly!! Also really tried working with his accent on this one lmk what you think.

Taglist: @miss-mistinguett @astro3des @prfctwilliams @onetimebaby @mal023 @thejoywillburnoutthepain @theoraekenslover

[blorbologist]

i read your tags! also same wrt vaxleth just being given their happy ending; it's not just that vm had nothing to do with it and it was all bh, it's that bh didn't even do it on purpose and it was essentially just a side effect of their actions

Hi anon - exactly!!! I can't get into much rambling atm, but it's so frustrating that the beautiful ending of C1 was undone as a freebie. And potentially even *more* than undone, if Vax is still an immortal Celestial.

(I'm sure Vax would love outliving his sister when he offered his life and service to save her in the first place. But hey never-ending romance am I right???)

It would be one thing if VM decided to weigh in more heavily on what happened with the gods, if say Pike had to consider inflicting this on Sarenrae (and to a lesser extent Vex and Scanlan on Pelor and Ioun, but hey they're just chosen hm?) to get Vax back. The closest we get to sacrifice was Vex dying, but a) ... I'm sorry but she’s died a Lot and she still came back anyways with no long-term repercussions b) that was to get Vax un-orbed, not completely get him 'back.'

VM were at best mildly inconvenienced (nothing was permanently lost or changed that they chose), got to have a nice victorious evening, then Vax was tossed back like a bonus prize regardless of his feelings on the matter. It feels like an afterthought, an excuse - oh while we're at it lets 'fix' what was a beautiful ending, because apparently it wasn't all that beautiful to us.

I could have been sold on this being a bittersweet thing - on Vax having changed, on Keyleth having changed, their respective responsibilities burdening them, to the point this is difficult for both of them. But the fact it's framed as them pretty much... a neat bow to wrap things up? It's not earned - by VM, by Keyleth, and it makes Vax and his entire character, his entire sacrifice, feel like a trophy. You handled 30 years without your boyfriend, congratulations! Here's a cookie.

Idk. To anyone stinging about this finale - or those just mildly bothered but they can't put their finger on why - I'd encourage you to rewatch something you know has a satisfying happy ending. See it done right.

I'd ramble about how Fullmetal Alchemist (manga and Brotherhood) is another example (like Dungeon Meshi) of a happy 'resurrection' done right (except it's shorter term, bar Al' body coming back which was a long-term goal - and it's focused on the platonic bond like the Touden siblings, though there is a romantic bond present and involved) - but my arm really fucking hurts so despite my ire I'll shut up.

No, wait: I'll end on part of Ed' final narration:

"There’s no such thing as a painless lesson, they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary, you can’t gain anything without losing something first."

[suddenrundown]

picked up a romance book with ace characters in it from the library, so im either about to have a fun time or this is going to be supremely annoying

[astriiformes]

Was tagged by @starfoozle to share some of the books on my to-read list for 2025 (thank you, friend, this is a fun one!)

First on my list of reading goals is actually to try to finish at least a couple of the in-progress books I carried with me into the new year, but for this challenge I picked ones I haven't actually started yet -- with the exception of Wonder and the Order of Nature, which I read a chapter of for a class years ago and loved (and which may or may not end up being the beginning of PhD dissertation reading in 2025).

This list is mostly non-fiction, as is my wont, though there are a couple fiction books in here for once -- both recommended by friends, so I'm slightly more optimistic I'll actually read and enjoy them. I hear tell the Rivers of London series even has a canon aromantic character, and that Mongrels is actually good werewolf fiction, so I may scratch a couple itches with my reading this year.

Tagging @marypsue @tam--lin @eternalgirlscout @so-i-did-this-thing @lafseanchai @professionalowl and @eighthdoctor, though of course there's no obligation to participate (I just suspect all of you have excellent to-read lists, haha)

[holyfreaks]

ignore the fact that we're already two weeks into 2025. does anyone have any new years resolutions that they'd like to share? I think it'd be nice if we wrote it down and hyped each other up 🥺 I'll go first

quit nicotine

read more than last year (fanfics and books)

feel free to share yours or if you don't want to/don't have any feel free to root for others :) <3

[rigelmejo]

Something that always annoys me is the idea only 1 language learning method works. Which is not true. While it may be possible that, for a particular individual, only a few out of many study methods may work well enough for That Individual to make progress and stay motivated... that doesn't mean all the other study methods won't work for anyone else out there, or that those few methods will work for every other given person.

Obviously if you've been studying a while, then you already figured out what kinds of things work for you and don't. If you're a beginner, just wading into studying?

I would suggest you simply look for study methods that: 1. Teach you new things regularly, 2. Review and practice things you've learned, 3. Include studying things you need for your particular goals (for example if your goal is to read X book then the study materials at some point should involve reading practice and some words the book contains, if your goal is to talk about Y then the study materials should include some information about pronunciation and words you'll need to be able to say).

As you can imagine, a TON of study materials will meet these requirements. And you can study a given skill in a LOT of ways.

(Reading is my focus lol so just for reading, a beginner might: do vocabulary study with lists or conversations with native speakers or watching shows and looking words up or listening to dialogues with a transcript like in a textbook or graded readers or a picture book with word labels in the target language or a video game with labelled objects in target language, all of those things as long as your vocabulary is improving or reading practice is happening would help you make progress). So to improve reading skill as a beginner: you could study with a textbook, a podcast with transcript, a classroom or tutor with words written down in target language (like TPRS), a video game, a TV show and a translate app on your phone, a friend you talk with (who either writes words down or you look up words you hear with a translate app), a friend you text with, srs flashcards like anki (provided there's text) etc. As long as there's new words, and/or you're practicing reading, the study method may work. If it works will come down to if you can stay motivated doing it regularly, and make sure you regularly learn some new things and review/practice things you've already studied.

So consider those things when you see people selling a study method as a product (especially when it's costing you money). Consider if it teaches you NEW things, and are those new things related to your goals, and how MUCH new stuff will it teach you before you finish it? Consider if it provides review or practice, or if you can use it's materials to review on your own making up your own method, or if you'll need to do separate review/practice.

So examples:

LingQ. Can it teach you many new words? Yes, thousands, since you can import any texts you want when you get done with their provided material (I have no idea how much their beginner material covers though in terms of words... I would hope 1000-3000 words but that can be researched). Is your goal reading? It's suited to reading, so you will practice and review often with it. Cost? I think it was $12 a month when I last had it, and the price may have increased. Is it worth it? Depends on a learner's needs. I found it was wasting my money, so I chose to use free tools like Pleco and Readibu apps - since those apps are suited for Chinese learners and have better translations, Pleco has better paid graded reader material if I was going to spend money, and both Pleco and Readibu let me import texts so I can learn thousands of new words just like LingQ but free. Now that I'm not a beginner, I often use Microsoft Edge to read chinese... since I can still click-translate words easily (all my web browsers have that tool free), and Edge's TTS voice is helpful for pronunciation and sounds quite good. I read webnovels online so Edge works well. But it's translations aren't as good as Pleco or Readibu, so if I still needed translations more I would use them. So... is LingQ a good study method? Its certainly a study method marketed to buy. Well... the method is suited to improving reading skill, at least. It costs money, which is a negative, but it does offer a lot. However: everything it does regarding reading can be done free with other apps or sites or web browsers on their own. So if paying money motivates you to read... sure. LingQ does have a few word tracking features a learner may find worth the money, keeping in mind the actual read-to-learn method can be done free without lingq. (Also... while LingQ is a valid option for improving reading, if the learners goal is speaking then it would be important to think of what study activities the learner will do OUTSIDE of LingQ to improve speaking... because I've seen how LingQ is marketed as "how to learn a language" but it's only focused on some skills. It has vocabulary and grammar in some sense, since you'll read a lot and encounter new words and structures. But it doesnt have speaking or writing practice at least last time I was on it. Those activities would need to be worked on, on your own).

You can do that kind of cost/benefit contemplating with any study method material you see being sold. Amother example: there's a beginner Mandarin course called Mandarin Blueprint. It teaches like 800 words. Thats all. It may be worthwhile for a beginner... who still needs to learn 800 common words. But if you already know a few hundred words, the benefit of the course is less, you'll need to find a new material to teach you more new stuff soon. And the price was like a few hundred for the course... which for me personally was too much to spend, when I had already learned 800 hanzi from a book that cost me 12 dollars and 2000 words from a free user made memrise deck. The course claimed to get a person speaking, competent, but anyone not a beginner would say speaking basically with 800 words is nowhere near the level of working in Chinese or just doing a lot of daily life stuff, or reading/listening to media. (Although for the motivated beginner if you're learning 800 words on your own like I was, its definitely close to the point of jumping to learn more words and start reading kids and teenager books, and watching easier shows if you're willing to look new words up). So to me... Mandarin Blueprint felt like overselling some basic beginner materials. (Again when I know several other things that teach beginner stuff either more in depth so HSK test prep classes, and college courses, or that teach beginner stuff to the same depth as Mandarin Blueprint but free).

Some study materials aren't going to act like they teach everything. I've seen chinese courses just for learning to speak tones better and general pronunciation - probably worthwhile if your goal is to improve speaking and a teacher could help improve the issues your having. But a learner needs to be aware for that course that they'll need to study vocabulary on their own, its JUST a pronunciation improvement course.

[sysig]

2024 Purge (Part 3)

A whole Three-Parter for 2024! Damned very completely took over my brain and I made so many many doodles about it haha <3 Also ft. Helix and SCII generally, and a few other cursory Damned-style things :)

Little mini ZEX walk cycle from his Kissing Strangers meme ♥ He’s so cute, wobbling around on these weird new legs, not used to using these stiff arms to assist him back up!

Floorplans!! Of the Vyer Estate, I unfortunately don't know the layout/room configuration of estates or mansions very well haha, so I kinda just guessed at what kind of structure the house would have - I could've looked up blueprints, but the foyer is such a strong image in my head that every other room kind of fell off around it lol - though I still oscillate between seeing the stairs in the frontmost room or to the sides, hmm

Many many speculations, including the outer spaces, yard out front and in back, what all is within their fencing, if its built on a slab or foundation, if there's a crawlspace or cellar or full basement, ahh, so many possibilities! You can see in the left full-view I mistakenly put Dex's room on the first floor lol, both his and Max's room are explicitly described as being upstairs, on a separate floor from the kitchen. Very important! But where is the master bedroom...? The two on the right are kind-of both of the same thing; the platform at the top of the foyer double stairs, and the room beneath it that leads outside to the back garden - I moved the dining room around here and there, it would be nice to open up the back doors and have a dinner party able to go in and out I think :)

Going a bit more granular, made some temps for Max's room specifically - he hangs out there a lot, it's important! Even pulled out my grid paper for this one haha, fun to have an actual floorplan kind of look with tile-spaced everything! Very Sims, quite fun. I do like the idea of him having a window seat, but he's also described as standing in front of his windows so that probably wouldn't be the Only type he'd have hmm

On the topic of the Sims, I ended up making the three mockups in the Sims 2 as well! I do like this one - I was especially surprised that Max was even able to get to the bed! I thought the dresser would be in the way but no, it’s all walkable :D Very pleased. Not fully satisfied with the placement of his en suite tho, would it encroach into his room itself, or be tucked into a wall...? I kind of like that idea of that :0

The double bay windows is maybe a bit much, but I mean. Idle rich lol. At one point he’s looking out the window and then backs Dex up against a wall, but Which wall hmmm, must align room layout with seduction attempts, very important

Switching entirely over, you might remember the card I posted of Stanley, and the small mention of having made a matching card for the Narrator... I may have made significantly more than just that lol, I can't help it!! The Damned structure is wonderfully made, it invites creative speculation and idea generation at a nearly alarming rate! I commend the game builders for their craft. So I made a bunch of the faces I'd want to see at the institute lol, I love duos the most-most, so picking a pair from several of my favourite pieces of media was just ahh! Yes!

Apaultheosis and Emma seemed like a particularly fun match :D Would that make Paul his "real" counterpart...? I mean, it says Matthew right there lol, but would he just act like Paul? Would be doubly weird if Paul-proper showed up while the Apotheosis was out swanning around haha, Apaultheosis really seems like the right level of "belongs in an institute" to have a lot of fun with :) And if it's my immune-Emma AU in particular, Emma's already used to having to be around a bunch of weirdos haha

The LAC boys!!! ♥ Making everyone's little background was a lot of fun too - yellow for the TSPs, blue splotches for the Hatchetfield duo, little devil trappings for these two :D Such fun! It was also very fun to write up everyone's little personalities in simple phrasing, really break them all down to their core characterizations haha. Helps with not pushing them too far one way or another too! Would they do any given thing because [trait]? S'fun!

Weird Duo, the Watchers pulled from And the Universe Shifts - the explorations of villains having to put up being on the same side as/having to get along with heroes really makes for an interesting examination of how they'd go about doing that! These two are still absolutely insufferable, but they're also trying to escape! It's interesting :0 Also casual headcanon of how the institute would deal with enby/trans characters, possibly something I've had a lot of thoughts about lol

Last fanduo from the first batch - all of these were made over the course of like, two days, if that lol, I was very excited about this idea - I genuinely love how anime/JRPG characters are usually given fake names also in Japanese, it's very fun :D I only did so halfway for Nova's since she's only ever had the one kind of anglicized personal name, no family name - could she also be a kid from Jersey? Such mysteries haha. She also probably wouldn't have her hair clips during the day unfortunately :P But I couldn't resist drawing them, she's not her without them! The Watchers get their masks, give my girl her barrettes!

Back to Helix, more short-haired Max! I do like this one but I also thought the pose was silly so I held off on it haha, he looks cute with short hair! <biased towards Max generally

Another one that was too silly to put anywhere haha, ZEX being attacked by an invisible Kayako - Teisel is very confused at your inexplicable reactions, Admiral!

Normally I wouldn't post my studies, partially because they're mostly for my own benefit, to better understand how to draw a character, and also because I am usually very ❤️💕💖💞💗 in my commentary lol, as evidenced. I was excited to see him!! Especially in the institute uniform!!! <3 I'd doodled him a couple times as such but Seeing it, ahh <3 <3 So cute, wonderful ♪♫

Max! Another half-study, frog mouthed boy <3 Goofy floofy lad, love him <3

And another! This time of him being teary-mad, gosh he's adorable no matter what he's up to

Hehe <3 A particularly silly one in reaction to Dexter having arm-pinned him on the floor - how different certain things look in hindsight, through the lense of a crush, hm?

Talanaaaa ♪ In actuality she removed her shirt, but how cute would it have been to tie it up at her side instead ahhh

Lovestruck Zelnick, totally listening, mmhm <3

The silliness continues! Was thinking about the little pink bits at the end of VUX tendrils and how I've sometimes seen them speculated as also being little tongues? I'm still not sure what I think about it! It is good and potentially creepy I think, but would they taste? Would they be as dexterous? Hmmm, thoughts thoughts

A dandelion for the sunshine Captain <3

There he is! The sunniest boy of them all! Sweetest sweet lad ♥ Love him :)

Speculating ZEX plushie stuff still - going over the construction of his uniform, possibly as part of his body, possibly as something to dress him in so he can be fitted into other clothes as well :0 I'm still considering the tail slot, but probably only for uniform-as-body - otherwise, laying his tunic overtop his tail would probably be the easiest all the way around. I do like VUX with short tails too tho, hmm, how to make it visible... On the right are a few more detail ideas :D Different eye styles, what would be embroidered vs. sewn together etc. - I considered felt medals and badges, but I really think embroidery would have the prettiest result! Even my notes say so haha, that and where to put weighted pellets in place of fluffy stuffing :)

Speaking of plush 👀 Ahem

An alternate Strawberry Blond panel, ZEX pulling him up fully to look at him hhh I love him <3

And also touching him a bit, what is this feeling DAX is feeling! ZEX has some ideas :3c Though when doesn't he lol

More DAX expressions! Angy and owie, they do tend to go hand-in-hand, poor lad got well-knocked around and he still ended up the least injured of the three!

Rando icons, I can't help myself ♪ This uniform has its hooks in me, is it the ominous smiley face's bright yellow on boring grey, the contrast, the sameness?? I just like it! Was a fun small and simple thing to pull together :)

I actually started this set somewhat early on, speculating what DAX's MU scene might be, but never ended up with anything solid - since he wasn't there initially, it's hard to think of what would be a fitting torture for him, apart from what Was there i.e. having to watch what ZEX went through :( That does seem like it'd leave some pretty massive mental scars on him - always always always unable to save him in the moments where it really counts! :'0 But it doesn't do anything to his Body, and that's supposed to be the point of MU! I do still like many things here, DAX's offer of self-sacrifice being rejected and him being powerless to do anything else

And the way I used hashmarks to imply his eyes going fuzzy with them both open and the stress - looks like a pause symbol haha

Also a big fan of the little corner doodle being so cute and wholesome, the two of them excitedly circling each other, excited to see each other! I love-loved that so much in their meeting <3 <3

Then there was that one time DAX and DAX met, that was fun :) If only ZEX had shown up, then what would DAX do! Self-defense in a way hehe, that's one way of getting on the same side haha

The raw doodle that eventually became Get Out of the Way! For as sad a way as it was to go out - failing to be protected, the last of his allies, not even able to wield his own weapon effectively - it does still remind me of a silly quote. Those dogs were indeed very nasty!

A temp doodle of Dexter holding both Max's clothes and ZEX's uniform after his "discharge" (;;) from the institute, the only things he has left to hold onto 💔 So very little left of him :(

I at one point asked smol who she’d put in the institute for funsies and she picked Maison Talo, and so I tossed Apaultheosis at him - they do both consider humans as prey! Just, a bit differently lol. Would the Apotheosis even be able to convert a Realtor by their lure? Where does the goo need to be to start to take effect, many questions

Stanley Icons <3 It's only fitting that my first choice for a card gets his own set of reactions! Icons like these are actually really fun to make - pulling around from my doodles, slapping a bit of colour overtop, edits to screenshots (Stanley's "Dead" reaction is probably my favourite of those, I'm sure y'all can guess which ending I pulled from lol) - and it all has me tempted to make a few more...

Back to Just-SCII! More Baby VUX!! 💖 They're so cute!!! Just little guys, adorable <3 Casual clothing and PJs and having to tie one's sash back on haha, all those complicated loops and knots :)

Also some muscle/arm shape speculations of how VUX armtips might change based on what they're doing, the roundedness of recoiling is very funny to me haha

Obviously had to make these two's versions in TS2 as well, the most fun <3 “What brings you in today, Mr. Vargas?” “That’s doctor.” “Oh, sure, right.”

More of the Doctor meme! Poor DAX haha, certainly sick with Something ♪

I think the lyric is “three times a day”? But what three times a day, that's the real question lol. ZEX has his own suggestions hmm :) I do like their hug in the first one hehe, so cute <3

Totally all better! Definitely nothing would make his symptoms flare up again!

Poor DAX <3

Digitized Dr. Doran! He really is so tiny haha, it was fun using Wander's colour scheme, mostly filled out already! The institute's dress code for staff is a mystery; presumably some of the therapists wear medical/professional clothes, but then there's Stein who still has the screw in his head - surely they'd allow jeans, right? Or is that where they draw the line lol. Look it's fine, he's meant to be the Approachable Therapist, he gets special allowances, totallyyy

All two Locked In doodles that didn't make the cut but also have nowhere else to go lol - there’s a few dozen concept sketches that haven’t been written into complete scenes yet that I'd love to post as their own sets! At some point!! Poor Oz is so put out, and Leah's big goofy grin, very silly hehe - that one's just meant to show off her outfit! It's winter, no bare legs here!

As a bonus to make up for those being the only two doodles, here’s Ozzy and Thrax in TS2 failing to get along lol. Oz! You're not good enough friends for that yet! Will they get there someday? :3c

VUX snuggles <3 Love the them so very much ♥

This is one I really want to digitize to get them a little more cosplay-accurate, but I'd been going back through some nostalgic AMVs and had the sudden realization that KuroFai, being one of my fairly early/influential ships on my heart, and now they...

Fai even loses an eye, I jfdlskafdlhfdf

Finishing out with my last set of cards, I had to make the two leads from SAOA, truly a masterwork in abridging <3 They're just such fun characters! And it's not like they're not already used to being trapped somewhere that constantly risks their lives :'0 I love them, I swear! Good things for them!

[girlivealwaysbean]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[shigussy]

i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny

also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade

-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)

-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)

-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)

-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)

my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath

in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do

[chiimeramanticore]

waow

[icewindandboringhorror]

currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....

[books-coffee-and-the-woods]

vague reading goals for next year:

read 100 books. purposely chose a high number (for me) because I want to encourage myself to choose reading over social media time more often (my daily phone screentime is....pretty bad lmao) and also because I want to read more comics and manga

read all my unread manga and comics, and reread any half-finished series to see if I want to continue them or nah

continue to alternate new book/series -> reread etc. since that seems to be the best way to assuage my anxiety about not reading enough of one or the other

continue the Tamora Pierce reread I started this year (though I only got through Song of the Lioness). ideally I'd like to read at least 4 of her series next year. not sure if I'll do all tortall books and then start emelan or what, we'll see how I feel, but I am trying to read them in publishing order...

actually track what books I buy and try to buy less than 50, and shop more intentionally. I have a ton of random stuff on my TBR shelf (mostly courtesy of the used bookstore and some very bad anxiety shopping last fall when I was traveling for the first time in a while and also my landlord decided to do a bunch of annoying things), so I'm going to try and ease up on the thrifting and only buy books I've read and love or new releases I'm particularly excited about.

try to keep up on new releases again! so many cool books came out this year and I was just completely out of the loop 😩 I think I've mostly come to terms with the obnoxious state of book-marketing now, so I'm going to re-follow some things I unfollowed and just try to trust my gut/the official summary/recs from people with similar interests.

get rid of 50 books. I'm at Max Apartment Capacity right now, so if I buy 50 books then 50 also have to go. or I need to win the lottery. one of those is more practical than the other.