#one last doodle before bed :3

[sweetsncandies]

"eyeshadow"

[sysig]

Mint stole my heckin’ dog (Patreon)

[xnalux]

streamer!vi hcs

part 2 part 3

my first time writing hcs so

warnings: none, fem!reader

pictures are from pinterest and they're not mine

streamervi: her streamer name is @/vistandsforviolence

streamervi: her rooms is a fucking mess, the walls are filled with mishmash of posters, stickers and colorful doodles jinx drawn on the wall herself. The floor is a sea of tangled cables, snaking around piles of discarded energy drink cans, scattered notebooks filled with doodles and half-written to-do lists. Her bed is a disheveled mountain of blankets and pillows with one corner serving as a laundry basket for her favorite band tees and worn-out jeans. It 100% stinks in there.

streamervi: set up is even worse, her streaming equipment is scattered across every available surface: a webcam held together by duct tape and hope, a ring light that flickers with an eerie glow, and a microphone that's seen better days. The desk is a minefield of controllers, half-eaten snacks, and sticky notes with hastily scribbled gaming strategies.

streamervi: has the wors wifii, she would probably stream better from a cave in the middle of nowhere.

streamervi: if jinx is home when she is streaming, everytime vi leaves the stream to go to the bathroom or get some snacks, jinx run in her room and takes her place ''hello guys it's jinx again, the cooler sister here to reveal all the dark secrets of vi'' and it would end up with vi wrestling a screaming jinx out of her room ''SHE WET HER BED TILL MIDDLE SCHOOL''

streamervi: she plays dark souls sice she started streaming ad still hasn't finished it (probably destroyed 25 controllers playing it). Everytime she dies, which happens more often than she'd like to admit, she slams the controller down on the desk screaming ''I'm done with this shit man'' but dives back in the game thirthy seconds later with a "alright, Dark Souls, you think you've seen anger? you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

streamervi: she totally cried all her tears playing the last of us and has a crush on ellie always making comments throughout the gameplay ''man she is so hot'' ''look at those arms'' ''if she is not ellie i don't want her''. She giggled watching the dina and ellie couch scene ''get that girl ellie!'' and a second after when she got in a chasing part of the game she bacame an anxious mess ''i want to go back to banging on the couch, i want to go back to banging on the couch''

streamervi: hates horror games but the chat is always requesting them because her reaction are hilarious. Everytime she plays an horror game her hands get sweaty and she secretly lowers her headphones's volume because the soundtrack makes he anxious. She suddendly start reading the chat every two second just for an excuse to pause the game and end up bickering with them

@pinksmasherz ''guys she is scared shitless, she alredy paused 10 time and it's only been 15 minutes lmao''

''you know who was scared? your mom when she gave birth to you'' before literally jumping from her seat ten seconds after and close the game.

streamervi: totally posts thirst traps in her ig stories and brags about the numbers of girls who liked it during her streams. She shows the pictures to the chat and smirks ''bet you losers want to be me so bad''

@sapphicnightmare: ''delulu is the solulu''

@zaunfinest: ''bet she never had a girlfriend in her entire life #vstandsforvirgin''

@getjinxed: ''I'm her sister and i can confirm she is a loser and a virgin #vstandsforvirgin

''Powder get the fuck out of my stream or I'll tell vander you blew up the mcrowave again''

@getjinxed: ''#worstvirginsister

streamervi: who totally has a crush on you since you two got matched up playing valorant. vi was being her usual self, she started talking a mile a minute and cursing at the enemy team as she got more and more worked up. you found her endering so when she complimented you about a skilled heal ''Nice one!" you decied to turn on your mic ''thanks'' she suddendly got into gay panic as she heard your voice and ended up dying

Her chat went wild

@piltiegoth: "very smooth"

@Ekk0:"Looks like she's finally found someone who can shut her up!"

@zaunfinest: "she is totally blushing, what a loser"

@getjinxed: ''#vstandsforvirgin''

''not that hashtag again''

streamervi: who silently sends you a friend request as the game ended. You became a constant in her lives, she always askied you if you were up for a game together even tho her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink, visible even through the webcam's glow every time you said something and she stumbled over her words, calling you "dude" one second and then switching to "bro" the next, as if trying to find the perfect term of endearment.

streamervi: when you two finally exchanged ig she was having dinner with powder and vander and almost choked staring at your picture. powder peeked to her screen from where she was seated next to her.

''who is @pixelprincess? wait isn't she that girl you always play valorant with during your streams? the one you've got a crush on?''

powder asked her munching over a chicked wing as vi got red faced

''i don't have a crush on her''

vi said but the words came out high pitched and totally fake

''yeah right, you always try to act cool when she is playing with you lowering your voice and shit, loser''

powder snikered as vi just got even more red and glared at her

''she is totally out of your league sis''

streamervi: who after months of pining after you (even the chat was tired of her loser crush on you) and powder threatening to reveal her baby naked pictures on the internet, finally asked you on a date. you met in a cafe downtown, she was so nervous she ended up talking the whole time and spilling her coffe all over the table. By the end of it she was sure you were going to block her as soon as you got home and never talk to her again. After she insisted to walk you home and you were standing in front of your home she took a deep breath.

''Listen I'm so sorry about the coffee. And the talking. And just… everything. I promise i'm usually not such a mess but i'll understand if you if you'll never want to see me again...''

she started rambling and only shut herself up when you planted a quick kiss in the middle of her cheek

''I liked it''

you smiled at her as her cheeks flushed and she brought a hand over the skin you just brushed with your lips.

''you liked it''

vi repeated as she stood stunned watching you nod your head, your pretty smile never leaving your face. And in that moment she knew she was a goner

streamervi: who the night after she kissed you for the first time, not a kiss on the cheek, not a peck but a proper kiss turned on her stream still high on dopamin from your date just to scream

''LESBIAN WON AGAIN!''

as she stood in front of her screen with her fist raised in the air and a stupid grin on her face.

''are u hearing this guys? sorry to break the news like this but i'm oficcially off the market ladies''

@sevikunt: ''she probably kidnapped her''

@viktorious: ''trolling''

@chadjayce: ''I refuse to live in a world where she actually get laid and i'm still single''

@pixelprincess: cute ♡

@getjinxed: FUCKING FINALLY

vi was staring at your message in the chat with a stupid lovesick grin on her face

@getjinxed: oh no she is even worse than before

[typing-catastrophe]

could you write a stanford pines x reader headcanon where the reader is an artist and always draws him and draws in his journals when he isnt looking? maybe he talks to the reader about the drawings and they get really flustered i dunno!!! <3

oohhh! yeesss, that's a great idea! thank you anon ^^ hope this is okay, enjoy!

1.2k words, no warnings --------------------------------------------------

Your little habit started out even before Stanford came back. Dipper saw you sketching in your notebook from time to time, and asked you to draw something for him in the journal. He handed it to you and pointed next to a text he'd written about some anomaly (maybe a Manotaur or the Pterodactyl). First you were unsure, how would you feel if someone randomly decided to draw in your sketchbook? But it actually seemed really fun, and you didn't want to disappoint Dipper. Also it was in the spirit of research and preserving observations. And honestly, what were the odds the mysterious author would ever show up again?

With that attitude you began, whenever you got the chance to, to doodle yours and the twins encounters with the countless strange phenomena in gravity falls into the journal.

Well, oops? Seemed like the universe decided that not long after you started doing so, it was the right time for the author to come back.

It wasn't a big deal really, Dipper kept the journal for most of the time and Ford told him that he liked the additions he made. You weren't sure if he only meant the notes Dipper added, or if he even knew that someone else drew the newly added creatures.

It didn't take long for you and Ford to get to know each other better and spend more time together. Literally everything about him was just so fascinating. From the way he talked about his dimensional travels, anomaly hunts and research, his interest in a shared hobby of yours (dd&md), to the way he held himself. And, even if you were a bit embarrassed to admit it, his looks.

You couldn't help it, he was captivating. So to no surprise, one day you found yourself sitting on the shack's porch, looking over at Ford standing in the yard, working away at something that was too bulky for the basement. You didn't even realise what you were doing until something startled you out of your thoughts and you looked down at your sketchbook, seeing a familiar figure on the open page.

And then it happened again, in the lab. He was explaining away, deeply invested in whatever topic he was rambling about, not really taking in his surroundings. You had started out just sketching his study, but somehow he turned out to be the main focus of it.

One evening you found yourself in the living room of the shack. Ford was sitting on the floor, which was almost entirely covered in graph paper. You had joined him while he prepared the next campaign session, the tv quietly proving some background noise. While he was franticly scribbling away sheet after sheet, you propped open your notebook and began sketching some of the characters that came to your mind. Ford's, Dipper's and your characters and some npcs you encountered on your travels. But looming over all of them, half hidden behind the dm-screen, the scheming face of the man before you took his shape.

The end of the evening was rather blurry, you remembered falling asleep on the floor and being carried to bed, half asleep in someone's arms.

"hmm thank you", is all you could mumble when you felt the soft pillow under your head.

"No problem, dear", you heard a deep voice chuckle.

-

When you thought about it the next morning, a smile crept unto your face and you kinda wished, you would've been more awake, so you could've enjoyed the moment properly.

The smile was quickly wiped off though, when you realised that you must've left your sketchbook in the living room, given that Ford probably didn't bring it with him last night. You panicked and jumped out of bed, stumbling to the door when your gaze was caught by something. Your sketchbook, laying on your desk. You exhaled, glad it didn't lay around for anyone to see. You took it into your hands and opened it to the last page you were working on. But instead of the drawing from yesterday evening, only the one before that stared back at you. Confused, you turned the pages a few times, examined it, maybe someone ripped it out? No, no remnants of a torn out page....

Then, it dawned on you. You left your notebook in your room yesterday. You didn't plan on staying or even going to the living room. God knows how you ended up there, but it definitely was without your sketchbook. Which could only mean one thing...

In record time you were out the door, down the hall and in the living room. Right in time to take in the scenery of Ford staring down at his campaign notebook, opened to the page of your drawing.

"Ahh!! No no don't look!", you jumped forward and put your hands over the drawing. Ford furrowed his eyebrows, looking quite puzzled.

"This? Oh I already saw it last night after getting you to bed. It is incredible!"

Your cheeks heated up. "Oh" was all you could utter.

"It was also you who added the depictions of the twin's adventures, right?"

"Uhmm" You didn't keep your passion for drawing a secret, but you also didn't make a big deal out of it. And honestly, the way Ford was always so indulged in his own mind, you didn't think he was paying much attention to what you were doing. Now you felt a bit stupid for believing he wouldn't connect the - admittedly - obvious dots.

"They really are marvellous. And this?", he gestured to yesterdays page "Truly phenomenal!"

You didn't know what to say. You weren't even sure if you could say anything at all. All you felt was blood rushing to the tips of your ears and a flaming hot sensation in your cheeks.

"I- well uhm, thank you", you managed to stutter "I uh, I actually didn't mean to- uhm, use your campaign book. It was a mistake, I'm sorry."

"You've got to be joking! It's the perfect addition!" Ford exclaimed. "Do you mind if I keep it?"

"Oh", his enthusiasm caught you off guard. "I-, I guess not. Actually, that would mean a lot to me." you admitted sheepishly.

"Very well then! Thank you, dear." He looked at you with a fond expression.

You were about to retreat back to your room, turning around ready to leave, when Ford spoke up again, the smile apparent in his voice. "I also liked your artistic rendition of the twins adventures. Anything else you want to show me?" You froze.

Your heart started beating ridiculously fast. Did he knew? Did he notice you staring at him while drawing? Your thoughts started racing, but came to a sudden halt when he leaned down. His lips were almost touching your ear when he started to whisper.

"Maybe another time." And with that he walked by you, leaving you to yourself.

-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated

a/n: if you want a second part with romance and/or where ford discovers the drawings of him, let me know! Have a nice day/night!

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Swansea: "Could you see anything?"

You took off your space suit helmet to respond to him, your face showing dark circles and a tired grimace. 

"Nothing at all... But... mm... We are following a trajectory but I can't say which one it is, we are not returning to earth but we are also not heading to the delivery zone... I only know that the ship is taking us somewhere else... but maybe-"

You were about to collapse, but Swansea immediately caught you before you fell.

Swansea: "Okay! That's enough, how long has it been since you last slept?"

"I need to find a way to return... Then I'll be able to sleep..."

You held onto his shirt tightly, trying to stand up but your body wouldn't let you, you felt the full weight of the suit on you. 

Swansea: "How could you go out like that? Do you know what would have happened if you had fainted out there?! We were going to lose you forever!"

The man immediately made you sit down and helped you take off the suit. 

Swansea: "Look at yourself, have you been eating? You look pale."

"I have my reverses in my room..." 

You murmured as he helped you to your feet and took you to your room, he could see the pile of accumulated food.

Swansea: "You haven't been eating!"

"Maybe I forgot about that..." 

He began to worry upon seeing all the papers stuck to the walls, written and scribbled, recreating plans of the ship and attempts to return. 

Swansea: "Listen to me carefully, we all appreciate the work you are doing, but we need you to be fine! Otherwise, we won't have a captain anymore!"

You rested your head on his chest and he felt how you wrapped your arms around him, he stood still as he heard you sob, sighed, and returned the embrace. 

"I'm scared - I'm afraid I won't be able to fix this - that I won't be able to see him again - that something will happen to all of you - it's too much"

Swansea: "You don't have to handle everything on your own, we're a team. I know well that Curly was your partner, that you relied on each other, but you can count on us too." 

You slowly pulled away and ran your hand over your cheeks to dry your tears.

"I didn't know you were good at comforting."

Swansea: "Ha! My wife is expecting a girl at home, I'm prepared for these things." 

"She is going to be very lucky to have you as a father."

Swansea: "Of course," he sat down next to you and sighed, "I want you to take a break, okay?"

"...Okay," you nodded. "Can you take care of the others? Delivering their rations and all that?"

Swansea: "If you give me the code, I'll do it without any problems."

"Thank you very much, Swansea... These two months after the crash...have been... Exhausting"

Swansea: "You want to see it, don't you?"

You nodded without saying a word. 

Swansea: "I can distract Anya and you can sneak off to see him."

"No- I can't do that... I will respect his wishes and wait until he feels ready to see me... Have you seen it?"

Swansea: "Nah, the only ones who have seen him are Anya and Jimmy, it seems like he's in a delicate situation."

You lifted your legs onto the bed to hug them tightly, resting your chin on your knees. 

"I'll rest for a week, is that okay?"

Swansea: "Of course, boss" 

He patted your back before leaving.

You looked at the rings on your hands and smiled. 

"You have made me depend a lot on you... I have to learn to control myself..."

You sighed and threw yourself onto the bed to try to get some rest. 

The first few days of your break, you felt extremely anxious for not doing anything about it, but you knew you needed to stay calm. 

One night you heard some knocks on your door, you were doodling in your notebook to keep yourself distracted until you saw Jimmy walk in. 

Jimmy: "I brought you a cup of coffee." 

He mentioned leaving the cup on the nightstand next to your bed. 

"Thank you"

Jimmy: "I noticed you left Swansea in charge."

"He has more experience than the others."

Jimmy: "Shouldn't it be my responsibility? I am Curly's co-pilot."

"What's the point of a co-pilot if there's no pilot's cabin? I'm sorry Jimmy, the answer is no. Anyway, in a few days I'll be back."

Jimmy: "Why do you always have to be a bitch with me?!"

You lifted your gaze from your notebook to see him, tilting your head. 

"I never did anything to you, you were always the one who talked shit about me, but Curly always kept you in line. Now he's not here, so I'm going to keep you in your place, okay?" 

Without saying another word, he left, slamming your door hard, but that didn't scare you or make you react in any way.

Seeing the cup of coffee he brought you, you took it to throw the content in the trash. 

.

.

.

.

.

Jimmy: "You and your perfect wife, your perfect life... It seems they enjoy seeing me as if I were someone inferior."

The man was speaking while placing a pill in his hand. 

Jimmy: "Let's see how much he's going to believe after tonight." 

He brutally opened his friend's mouth, who let out a cry of pain and growls that seemed to come from a helpless animal. 

The sounds from that room were horrible, all caused by the man taking it out on his friend for having everything he wanted. 

[sochai13]

domestic dazai … <3 pt 2

— dazai’s eyes lighting up the moment he noticed you decided to wear a loose fitting shirt today. that day months ago you idly commented on how freezing his hands tended to be, it became routine of him to transfer that coldness onto your skin any chance presented. of course he had to play this out right and wait for a moment you’d be distracted— having grown much too accustomed to this habit of his. dazai’d watch as you got up from the couch and grabbed a glass of water, turning around and facing the counter to sneak up on you. his hands slid under your shirt, immediately pressing against your sides making your shoulders fly up as you let out a startled gasp. snickers sounded from behind as you slowly put down the glass you almost dropped.

— dazai stubbornly laying down after you finally convinced him he couldn’t casually walk about with a sore throat, sinus pressure, and a moderate fever. it was even more frustrating to get him to take just minimal medicine. complaints and whines that “it tastes bad” and “it makes me nauseous” left dazai’s dry lips as he attempted to cozy up beneath the sheets despite how his temperature fluctuated. he reluctantly agreed under the condition you’d massage his head with those magical fingers of yours (as he calls it). honestly, it was worth it. looking upon that peaceful expression on his face you (anyone really) rarely got sight of after he fell asleep within five minutes was enough of a reward. his eyes were closed, lips slightly parted as his chest slowly rose and fell. he’d trusted you enough to completely let his guard down forever ago, but it still caused a small smile to grace your lips at the sight.

— dazai using some pen he found in your bag to idly doodle on your hand and arm. the two of you were sitting on some empty bench in a park, water flowing in a fountain nearby. the weather had already began to cool down, leaves falling and breezes occasionally picking up as shivers would run down your spines. there’d been nothing to keep you entertained all day, the current scenario finding you both here. “you’re really good at that” you softly muttered as he used the black ink to create pretty flowers along your wrist. dazai simply flashed you a small smile before his focus redirected back to his little canvas.

— dazai lying in bed with you, his eyes half lidded. moonlight illuminated the room through the blinds. last time you checked, it was around 1AM… maybe? his gaze fixated on your face tiredly, eyes analyzing each one of your features like he was seeing you for the first time again. the side of his face rested on his palm as his elbow was propped against the pillow. his other hand ran through your hair, gently brushing the extra strands out your eyes. your fingertips ran along his skin, some areas calloused and some smooth. his whole body was yours to find solace in, save for a few spots currently covered by bandages. not many words were exchanged, just the sounds of your breaths and the fan above you two, though the silence was enough to provide a shared melancholy.

[naomijoestar]

Hey~

Your writing is so cute! Do you have any general romantic headcanons for Bruno and Rohan?

-🌹

Masterlist here <3

Hello! Tysm for the compliment they motivate me smsm 💕 Ofc i have some headcanons, hope you enjoy anon! <3 Also I’m sorry for the late reply I was gonna start working on this yesterday but I was so exhausted ;(

Bruno Bucciarati and Rohan Kishibe romantic headcanons

Bruno Bucciarati

- Hugging from behind: Bruno loves wrapping his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder while whispering sweet nothings into your ear. Sometimes he’ll sneak up on you just to surprise you with a gentle hug

- Soft forehead kisses: He’s a sucker for forehead kisses, especially when you’re both cuddled up after a long day. It’s his way of making you feel loved without needing to say a word

- Cooking together: Even though he’s pretty good at cooking, he insists that you help him, just so he can spend more time with you. He’ll flirt as you chop vegetables, and sometimes he’ll steal a quick kiss while the food is simmering on the stove

- Beach dates and silly sandcastles: He loves taking you to the beach for romantic walks, but sometimes he’ll suggest building sandcastles together. The two of you get competitive over who can make the best one, and he secretly loves how playful you get

- Braiding your hair: Bruno has such skilled hands (😉) that he loves helping you with your hair. He’ll braid it while humming softly, sometimes getting playful and adding silly little accessories just to make you laugh

- Soft sleepy cuddles: After a long day, he’ll pull you close to him in bed, gently stroking your hair as you both drift off to sleep. He loves when you snuggle up against his chest, and he always makes sure you’re comfy before falling asleep himself

- Calling you “bella/bello”: He has pet names for you, like “bella” or “bello” (beautiful). You often catch him calling you that in the middle of conversations, sometimes without realizing

Rohan Kishibe

- Drawing cute doodles of you: Rohan pretends to be all serious about his manga work, but every now and then, he’ll draw little chibi versions of you in his sketchbook. He acts like they’re no big deal, but secretly loves how happy they make you

- Reading your favorite books for you: Rohan is well-read and loves sharing books with you. Sometimes he’ll dramatically read passages aloud to you in funny voices, just to see you laugh

- “Accidentally” tripping into you: Rohan will sometimes pull little stunts where he pretends to trip into you just to catch you and pull you close. It’s his playful way of being romantic without being too sappy

- Unexpected cheek kisses: Rohan acts all cool, but he loves sneaking up on you and planting quick, soft kisses on your cheek, especially when you least expect it. He’ll act like it’s no big deal afterward, but you can catch a small smile on his face

- Compliments out of nowhere: He’s surprisingly sweet when you’re least expecting it. One moment you’re talking about something random, and the next he’s telling you how stunning you look, with no context at all

- Stealing your snack: Rohan likes to steal little bites of your snacks when you’re not looking, then acting like it wasn’t him. He’ll give you a mischievous smirk as if he didn’t just swipe the last bite of your favorite dessert

- Drawing little hearts on your hand: While you’re sitting together, he’ll absentmindedly grab your hand and start drawing little hearts on the back of it with a pen. When you look down and see them, he pretends he didn’t do it, but he’s clearly amused

There ya go! I hope these meet the expectations you had while writing the request <3 Again I’m sorry this took so long I’m trying to balance between tumblr, uni, and my job :,) Have an amazing day!

If you liked these make sure yo check my other posts! Don’t be shy and request anything you would like me to write for jjba <3 Likes and Reblogs are appreciated 🩷

[vrystalius]

If you do lower moons: Can i request pumping carving/trick or treating w all of them?

If you don't, can u do trick or treating with Senjuro? :3

Trick or Treating with Senjuro

He hasn’t done this in years! Especially not without his brother.

Pairing: Senjuro x fem!reader (platonic/familial) (you’re the wife of Kyojuro)

He hasn’t gone trick or treating in ages, ever since his brother got busy with the duties a demon slayer and hashira and his father turned to bottles upon bottles of sake, Senjuro simply didn’t have time or the want to go out to collect candy. Childhood is something he had to leave behind in order to keep the household going. But ever since his big brother married you, you came to visit more and more often, checking in, cooking and even playing with him a little after completing the chores. It was fun to have you around, it made him feel safe to be careless again and without worries. You have a protective aura, almost motherly. He that even Shinjuro could sense it sometime, he drinks much less when you’re around. He even got out of bed and cooked himself a meal once.

It was your idea to go trick or treating. Senjuro was preparing a small bowl of candy to give out to the other kids knocking on the door, that’s when you asked him if he doesn’t want to go out himself. He shyly stated that one, he has no costume, two, only he and Kyojuro went out together and that lastly, Senjuro worries about the disappointed children knocking on the door with no one opening the door. His father surely won’t, so who will?

“Leave the bowl out front, we can cut some sheets and turn you into a ghost!”

A ghost. Yes, that’ll work! You two stole one of the dried sheets you two hung up together and cut two holes for his eyes and one for his mouth, then another two holes for his arms. Senjuro excitedly sat beside you while you were working on the costume, painting a small bucket, adding little Halloween doodles like pumpkins, ghosts and demons. He counted the hours until night finally came. His strength was almost overwhelming, given how hard he was pulling on your arm to finally leave. One last hurried goodbye to his dad before parading down the streets, going from door to door. You matches his energy and encouraged him to go on whenever he got a little nervous or why about knocking. One time, you had to walk him to the front door because of how scary the front garden was decorated. You saw how he was trembling a little beneath the white sheet and how hard he was clinging onto you while you led him forward.

By the end of the night, Senjuro was already unwrapping candies and chocolates, stuffing them into his mouth one by one. Once you two arrived back home, he actually got a little sick from the amount he managed to inhale in that short distance. After confiscating his candy for the night and letting him wash up for bed, you tucked the younger brother of your husband into bed. You ran your fingers through his bright hair while the kid mumbled about how fun the night. It was adorable seeing him being so exhausted and yet so excited for next year’s Halloween. You watched his eyes slowly flutter close and his mumbling stopping, soft snores reaching your ears.

I hoped you enjoyed this! Our best boy Senjuro. I’m sorry about not writing for the lower moons, I don’t know enough to write for them accurately :,)

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!

Take care of yourselves <3

[natti-ice]

Wrong Decade- Sirius Black.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: During their school days Sirius wasn't into Y/N, when he realizes he was wrong he was too late. A 10-year reunion might change the past

Warnings: mentions of rejection and divorce (4.3k words), I’m sorry it’s in third person (she/her pronouns used)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

"Does this outfit look okay?" Y/N asked her friend as she checked herself out in the mirror

A taller brunette sitting on her bed looked up from her book. She put her book down walking up to the mirror "You look great, I promise. Don't worry, I know he'll say yes" her friend assured her.

"What if he doesn't?" Y/N questioned nervously, her heart had been racing all morning. Today she was going to ask out Sirius Black, they aren't the closest friends but they talk a few times a week. She's had the biggest crush on him since they first met first year in defense against the dark arts. 

"Then it's his loss, dear." She said as she fixed the collar of Y/n's shirt. "Now c'mon, Mcgonagall will kill us if we're late again." Y/N grabbed her bag and headed out the door behind her friend. 

She had put off doing this for so long because she was scared he wouldn't like her back. Sirius was notorious for only dating the most popular girls in school. Y/N wasn't popular but she was known around school. She didn't come from money and she didn't like how people were treated differently because of their social status. She tried her best to treat everyone the same way no matter what. 

6th year is almost over and she can't keep waiting for him to say something. She has to get over her fears and go for it, she won't let the fear control her anymore. 

-

She had been waiting all day for this moment, she and Sirius only shared one class. Potions, the last class of the day. She had been on edge all-day hundreds of scenarios playing in her head, everything that could go wrong. Pushing all those nerves down, she walked into the classroom. A few students were scattered around the class, she tried to get there as early as she could. Much to her surprise, the Marauders were already in the classroom.

They were normally some of the last people to show up, She wasn't sure why they were there so early. She walked over to her table and sat her bag down. She hesitated walking over to him, everything in her said don't do it. She argued with the voice in her head, she had to do it now or it would never happen. 

She took a deep breath before heading toward their table, keeping her head high as she was afraid if she looked down she would trip. The four boys were in a conversation it must've not been that important because once she arrived at the table all their attention was on her. It was nerve-racking but she kept a smile on her face trying to act as natural as possible. 

"Hey Y/N/N, how are you today?" Remus asked

"I'm doing just fine, thanks" she smiled at the boy, she really wanted to get this over with

"Sirius?" She asked

"Yes?" The longer-haired boy looked up from the paper he was doodling on, a small smile played across his lips. 

Oh my, he's beautiful she thought to herself, shaking that thought from her head she continued the conversation

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" her voice steady 

"Um sure, love" he hesitated at first, he stood from his stool and followed her to a more quiet part of the class

The remaining boys gave each other questioning looks. Anytime Sirius ever spoke to Y/N the other boys were around so it was odd for them to be on their own. 

The two stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, just looking at each other. Y/N's mind had gone blank, she didn't think she'd get this far. 

"Did you need something?" Sirius asked pulling her out of her trance

"Huh? OH, yeah" She fidgeted with her ring as she prepared herself for what she was about to say. "I was wondering, would you like to go out this weekend... like a date" she made it through without stuttering, an awkward smile on her face poorly masking her nerves

Sirius' eyes slightly widened, he didn't expect Y/N to be this straightforward. 

Y/N's heart was racing in her ears as she waited for his response. Her smile faded quickly as he spoke

"Y/N I'm sorry, but we're just friends. I hope I didn't lead you to believe differently. I'm sorry" he said with a pitied look 

Her heart broke, the worst thing that could happen just happened. She had to get out of this situation fast. 

"Oh, don't worry about it. I get it, sorry to bother you." She walked off before he could speak again

James noticed her change in body language as she went back to her table. Sirius rejoined the boys and didn't say anything about what happened, he just went back to scribbling on his paper. 

-

Later that night at dinner, the boys were in their usual seats eating while talking about random topics. James looked around the room and noticed Y/N wasn't in her usual spot. He took this opportunity to ask his friend what happened earlier

"Mate" he nudged Sirius with his shoulder getting his attention

"hm?" he responded as he had food in his mouth

"What happened today with Y/N?" he asked casually

He swallowed before speaking "She asked me out" he said nonchalantly 

This caused the others to freeze in place, they looked around at each other seeing who will speak first. 

"What did you tell her?" Peter spoke up

"I said no" 

"WHAT?" the three said in unison

"What? She's not my type" Sirius explained 

"Sirius, are you joking? That girl has been in love with you for ages, we all know you're perfect for each other" James looked at his friend like he was crazy

"No, she hasn't. I just don't think we'd be a good fit together, she's not really what I go for" He didn't want to hurt her feelings but he just didn't think she met what he wanted. Honestly, he didn't know what he wanted. He knew he was an attractive person and he knew that girls were attracted to him. As much as he hated sticking to the status quo, he seemed to always go for the girls who fit the beauty standard. 

"Not your type? what, pretty and stupid?" Remus scoffed 

"Hey I'm not saying Y/N's not pretty it's just, I don't think what people will think about me if we were together" he defended himself

"Aright, it's your life" James concluded before they went back to their original conversation

-

June 30th, 1978

The last day of school, 7th year. 

Y/N was packing her trunk for the last time before she left Hogwarts, as much as she loved the place she was excited to start her future. The last year had been fairly normal, she had taken the year to get over Sirius. She thought she was silly for even entertaining the idea that they could ever be together. She knew how he was and just ignored it. It kinda helped that he hadn't spoken to her since the previous year. 

She knew it was for the best, if she didn't worry about some dumb boy she could focus on who she was going to be in life. She planned on going to a muggle university as her mother did and study law. 

She gave one last look at her dorm, where she spent the last seven years of her life. She casted a spell to have her trunk follow behind her as she left her room for the last time. Walking out of her common room passing all the other students who were saying goodbyes and excited for summer. 

She walked down the grand staircase, dropping her trunk off with the others before heading to the train platform. She found a group of her close friends amongst the sea of students who are waiting to get on the Hogwarts express. They walked onto the train that was filled with kids who were excited to go home, finding the compartment they'd sat in for years as they talked about what they wanted to do over the summer. 

-

The train ride went faster than she had hoped, she didn't when she would see her friends again. Getting off the train she saw kids reunite with their families, hugs, and smiles could be seen all over the platform. Y/N's parents always waited for her in the muggle part of the station, they didn't like running into people from their school days. 

She gathers all her belongings and says her last goodbyes to her friends before heading to the portal. Pushing her trolly through the crowd, careful not to hit anyone's ankle she focused on making it off of the platform. She could see the red sign was a few feet away when a hang gently grasped her shoulder. She stopped in her tracks and turned to see who it was

"Y/N, I've been calling you," The boy said with a small smile, it was Sirius

"Sorry, I didn't hear you" She apologized, the situation was a little tense. They only spoke a few times since that day in potions class

"I wanted to talk to you before we left school but I couldn't find you" he started, Y/N didn't respond allowing him to continue. "I was thinking maybe you and I could hang out this summer, I don't know maybe go on a date or something," he said as nervously rubbed the back of his neck

Y/N couldn't help but give him a confused look, she had no idea why he was asking this now. "What? Where did all of this come from?"  She asked moving her cart to the side to get out of people's way. He followed closely behind her as he continued the conversation

"I've been thinking about it all year, I was wrong to tell you that I didn't want to go out. Honestly, I wasn't thinking clearly, I'm sorry"  He didn't want to go into too much detail on how much he'd actually been thinking about her. 

He thought about her every day since she asked him out. He always thought she was cool, she was funny and kind and smart and she was always there for her friends he had only thought of her as a friend. Most of his relationships didn't last longer than three months so he never thought about what he'd want in a long-time partner. 

Over the course of his 7th year, he thought about it more and when he did, the more Y/N checked off the boxes. His friends were right, she was perfect for him. He didn't realize that until recently and he was afraid he was too late but he had to ask anyway.

Y/N didn't know what to think, she had spent so long trying to get over him, and all of a sudden he was interested in her. She was quite irritated, why would he think she would be available for him whenever he wanted. She wasn't going to let that happen.

"Sirius, I honestly don't know what to say but I think it's best we don't see each other." She said calmly

"Why not?" It wasn't rare for him to hear 'no', it stung more coming from her mouth. 

"I've spent so much time getting over you and you show up out of the blue with this offer. I'm sorry Sirius but it's not going to happen" she needed to get out of there as fast as possible, if she stayed another minute she was afraid she'd change her mind. She began pushing her cart back toward the entrance, before she got too far she turned around watching his face as he processed what happened. "Have a nice summer, Sirius" 

She turned back around moving forward, he watched her get lost in the crowd. 

-

Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry cordially invites you to the Class of 78's 10-year reunion! The Hogwarts Express leaves at 11 am, 1 July 

The letter in Sirius' hands was slightly crumbled as had just dug it out of the bin. He received it last week and didn't know if he should go or not, he wasn't in the mood to interact with his old classmates. The last ten years have been rocky for Sirius. After leaving school, he traveled the world because it was something he always wanted to do. While he was in Germany he met a muggle woman and he fell for her quickly. 

He had never been happier, their relationship moved very fast they were married within six months. It was going great for a while, he was still traveling but she wanted more. She asked him multiple times to move to Germany with her and start a family. It took a while for him to agree to this. A year into the marriage he moved to Germany to settle down, he got a job and was happy. 

Over the course of the next five years, his marriage started to deteriorate, for some reason he and his wife couldn't have a child and she started to resent him for that. He tried everything he could to make her happy, he turned into a completely different person and it still wasn't enough. Finally, when he was tired of being in a loveless marriage he left and moved back to London. 

His divorce was finalized four months ago, he's doing better now. He's happy to be home and close to his mates, James had gotten Lily to agree to marry him and they have a young boy. Remus finally got the chance to become a teacher like he always wanted, and peter is living a happy quiet life in the country. 

Things were finally good. 

He still didn't want to go to this reunion, having everyone ask what he had been up to for the past ten years wasn't his favorite conversation. But after a lot of convincing from James, he gave in.

He had a small carry-on in his hand as he walked out of his small flat and set off to King Cross where he would meet his friends. He just wanted to get this weekend over with. 

-

When Y/N arrived at Kings Cross, she was excited to go back in time. She hadn't thought much about her years at the school since she left. She did exactly what she planned, she went to school and became a lawyer. A damn good one at that, she hasn't lost a case since she started her own firm. She was doing pretty good for herself. 

She wasn't married, she had been single for a few years because of how busy her schedule was. None of her partners understood why she couldn't always be around. This caused a lot of distance in her relationships so she figured it was best just to ride solo for a while.

She had recently reconnected with her friend group from school, and they all talked about their lives. Some of them had kids and were married, Y/N felt a little sad that she couldn't brag about an amazing husband. She had always wondered what it would be like if she had settled down after school like everyone else, but she remembers how happy she has made herself. Maybe one day she'll find "the one".

Right now she and three of her old friends are sitting in the same compartment they did all those years ago. Slightly gossiping about everyone they've seen so far, everyone has changed so much. She was nervous about going, Hogwarts brings back so many memories all the good and the bad. 

She forgot how long that train ride was, she found herself growing tired just a few hours in. She decided to take a nap so she would be refreshed when they got there. 

-

When they finally arrived, everyone was eager to get off the train. Y/N had woken up an hour prior to arriving so she was ready to go. She stood from the bench seat and walked out of the compartment, her friends following close behind. Y/N followed the crowd off of the train, on the platform stood a very tall man, it felt just it did on her very first day at school.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts Class of '78, we have all missed you very much! Please make your way down to the boats." Hagrid's deep voice rang out

The now adults made their way down to the lake the same way they did when they were 11. Groups of four climbed into the boats and magically floated their way done the lake. The scene was just as beautiful as Y/N remembered. 

Once everyone was off the boats everyone knew where to go, it was like muscle memory. Nothing about the castle had changed, it was beautifully lit up by torches along the corridors. The walls had been decorated with magical pictures of all of the students throughout their time at Hogwarts. 

It made Y/N feel like she was a teenager again when all she had to worry about was turning in an assignment on time. Staying amongst her friend group they walked into the great hall which was always breathtaking. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the night sky, lit candles floated in the air lighting up the room. The floor was decorated similar to when they would have a dance, all the long tables were gone and replaced with smaller round ones decorated with soft table cloths. 

There were snack tables on both sides of the room, everyone scattered around looking at all the nostalgic decorations. Y/N's friends had already found a table and sat down, when she arrived at the table her friends were whispering. Gossip. 

"What are you guys talking about?" she asked taking a seat at the table

"Look over there, dear. Isn't that Sirius Black?" One of them said while pointing to a table across the room

Sirius Black. That was a name Y/N hadn't heard in years. She slowly turned her head so it wasn't obvious they were talking about him. When she finally found him, his eyes were already on her. This made her look away quickly, a wave of adrenaline washed over her. She hadn't felt that since the last day she saw him. 

All of her memories of him came flooding in all at once, all the laughs and test answers they shared. The most prominent memory was him rejecting her. It didn't hurt as bad as it did back then, of course, it sucks to be rejected but she got over it. She realized how juvenile it was to think about what could've been but she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if they ever were together. 

She shook the thoughts from her head, no, tonight we're in the moment. She thought to herself, she was going to enjoy herself this weekend. 

A loud familiar voice filled the great hall causing everyone to look at the front of the room. Dumbledore stood at his podium as he always did when he gave a speech. 

"Good evening class of '78, it's so wonderful to see all your faces again! Even though you're all grown up now, to me I still know you as the young kids running around the castle. Please enjoy yourself tonight, catch up enjoy the refreshments and live music. I shall be walking around to hear all of your adventures beyond this campus." 

As soon as he stopped speaking a band started playing all the wizard music hits from their time at Hogwarts. 

-

On the other side of the room, Sirius black is sitting at a table with his best mates. James hadn't shut up about how much he missed the school, Sirius tried his best to match his enthusiasm but he couldn't. Since he got there, he heard at least four different people talking about his divorce. 

He noticed Y/N the second she walked in the door, she was absolutely beautiful. He always knew she was beautiful but seeing her in this place was like a breath of fresh air. He had to talk to her tonight, he had to know what she'd been doing all those years. 

As the night progressed, Sirius kept finding himself stealing glances with Y/N. He watched her dance with her friends, he saw her talking to old teachers, he didn't know what happened to all the confidence he once had because he couldn't go up to her. 

James had noticed his behavior, no matter what Sirius said he knew he never got over her. 

"Sirius mate, just go talk to her," he said pulling his friend out of his thoughts "She probably forgot about everything that happened, go say hello"

"I don't know" Sirius sighed "What if she's married?" 

"She's not" Lily, James' wife chimed in

"How do you know?" Sirius challenged

"Because I talked to her, now stop moping and go" the redhead demanded

"James, you're wife is very mean" he said as he stood from the table

"I know" James smiled kissing her on the cheek

Y/N was sitting at her table hydrating after dancing, her back was turned away from the crowd so she didn't see Sirius come up to her. 

He tapped her shoulder causing her to lightly jump, when she turned around she was met with an older version of the boy she once knew. 

"Hi" He greeted with a large smile

"Sirius, how are you?" she matched his grin

"I'm good, do you mind if I sit?" he asked pointing to the empty chair next to her

"Sure, go ahead" 

Sirius sat down on the white chair, he didn't say anything for a few seconds before picking up the conversation

"So what've you been up to? It's been ages since I last saw you" 

"Nothing much really, once I left school I went to law school now I have my own law firm," she said with no excitement because it was the twenty-something time she said it tonight.

"A lawyer? Wow, that's amazing!" He was so glad she was doing well in life, better than he was.

"It's not that great, it's a lot of work" she laughed "What about you? What've you been doing the last 10 years?" 

He paused, he didn't want to lie and say it was great but he didn't want to ruin the moment. "It's been quite interesting actually" he nervously played with his fingers "I traveled for a while after graduating, then I got married and moved to Germany"

Married, great. She thought

"You live in Germany? That's so cool" she replied

"No no, not anymore" he laughed "I moved back to London when my wife and I spilt" he explained

"Oh" Y/N let slip "I'm sorry, I hope you're doing alright" she offered

"I am, thanks. I'm actually pretty happy right now" he smiled

For the next hour or so they talked about everything they could. It felt like they never lost that time, they felt as if they were still those friends in school. Somewhere through the hour, they migrated to the dance floor. They were a respectable amount of distance apart, Sirius' hands were on her waist, her arms loosely wrapped around his shoulders. they  continued their conversation as they danced

"Y/N, can I be honest with you?" Sirius asked randomly

"Go for it" she said as she swayed to the music

"I honestly don't know why I ever let you go" 

She stopped dancing, she scanned his face for any sign that he was lying

"Sirius that was years ago, it's okay" she laughed lightly

"I know I know, I just wish I had gone on that date with you" he smirked

Y/N thought for a minute, maybe this was her chance to see what could've been

"Well, you can always go on a date with me now" 

"Really?" he was taken aback that she would say that

"Yeah, why not? You can finally see what you had missed out on all those years ago" she teased

"Let's go then" he said grabbing her hand and running out of the great hall

They went through all the corridors and all the unlocked classrooms reminiscing on their days at the school. At the end of their self-guided tour, they ended up at the top of the astronomy tower. 

"This place always had the best view" Y/N said as she stood next to Sirius at the railing looking out at the night sky

"Yeah, it does" Sirius agreed, but he wasn't talking about the stars. He moved slightly closer to her, close enough to where their arms touched. "I'm glad I got to see you again" he said softly

"I am too," she said looking into his eyes

"Maybe when we go home, I can take you on a proper date" Sirius suggested

"I'd like that" Y/N smiled softly, she couldn't help but flicker her eyes down to his lips. 

He noticed. He leaned in closer, their noses softly brushed against each other. Right as their lips were about to connect, a loud cough could be heard causing the two to pull away. 

"Mr. Black, Ms. L/N it's past curfew" Dumbledore started "Please see your way back to your dorms" 

"Yes professor" They said, sounding like children who got caught doing something they weren't supposed to. They both hurried their way down the large staircase, a little out of breath but they were out of Dumbledore's view. 

"Now, where were we?" Sirius asked as he gripped Y/N's waist pulling her in for a passionate kiss.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 12: My Heart Is Beating For You Constantly

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twelve of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 9.1K (I got really carried away)

Warnings: I'm going to label this one 18+ just in case. References to sex, Implied Sex, Heavy Making Out (not really explicit, but also not real un-detailed…), Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soft Soldier Boy, Angst, Fluff.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

A/N: The song they dance to is "You Call It Madness, But I Call It Love" by Russ Columbo.

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

1984

You take a sip of wine, leaning over your coffee table to pull another photo from the Rosewood box perched on the edge. It's your birthday, your 65th birthday to be exact, of course one look in the mirror revealed that you barely looked over 30. To some women that might be a welcome thought, but given your current situation it wasn't.

It marked the fourth year since you told Ben that you were unhappy on Payback and as a supe, told him that you wanted a normal life, and four years after you'd let him talk you into staying. But this was the year. You were going to tell him that you were done, that you were moving on and getting out.

Unfortunately the only person you had to convince about letting go was yourself, because leaving meant giving up Ben. And you weren't sure that was something you could do.  You were having a hard time convincing your heart to let go of him or rather the old version of him, that only made it's appearance when it was the two of you. The memories that tied you to Ben were tight and difficult to unravel. You couldn't imagine your life without him, couldn’t see past this moment in your life.

But that's why you had to go. You knew you were in too deep. Fantasizing about a  relationship with someone who would never love you the same way you loved them, hoping in something that would never happen. And you needed to let him go, whether it be the new version of him or the boy you used to know, you needed to let Ben go.

The Rosewood box was filled with photos, old doodles, memories, and objects from your past. Usually it was stored under your bed, but tonight you had dragged it out into the living room to reminisce on your birthday. It was a tradition you started a few years ago as a way of remembering the past. Sometimes it was a welcome distraction from the way things were now and tonight you were letting it be a last supper of sorts, to indulge in the memories Ben and you had shared over the years before you told him that you were leaving.

You had no idea where you were going, but the thought excited you a little bit. Finally striking out on your own for the first time, doing something for yourself for once, it felt right.

Leaving Ben was the only thing that felt wrong. You wanted him to come with you, for him to choose you the way that you chose him that night, but you knew he wouldn't. He liked this life too much to let it go, he thrived in the spotlight, embraced everything about being a supe that you hated, and so you would let him go.

You look down at the strip of paper in your hand. It was a collection of photos from a photo booth, yellowed with age, but lined up one by one from the first baseball game Ben ever took you to, one of your favorite memories from your childhood. You were wearing the ridiculous pinstriped hat and Ben looked as handsome as he always did, smiling wide with his dark hair hanging in his face. It was hard to look at it now, hard to look at Ben and you when you were so young, and you didn't know where your lives were going to go.

Your eyes drift to the velvet case pressed into the corner of the wooden box. You had kept the ring that Howard got you, well, technically you had tried to give it back but he refused, begging you to reconsider.

Sometimes you thought about throwing it away. It was ugly, but it was a reminder. Not a reminder of Howard, you could barely remember what he looked like, but it was a reminder of the night Ben asked you to come with him. You could remember the earnest look in his eyes, how he cupped your face, and the promise he made to you. The future he promised had been filled with so much possibility, but you weren’t sure anymore. You think about the years you'd spent together and how leaving felt like the end of an era.

But it was necessary, breaking away from all of this would be good. Yes you would miss Ben, but you needed to move on. You knew that deep down. Because you wanted something more than all of this, and the night Ben asked you to come with him you thought he could give it to you, but after all these years you understood that he couldn’t and that he didn’t want to.

Someone knocks loudly on your door.

“One second.” You take the last sip of wine before standing and crossing the room to open the door. “Hey what are you doing here?”

Ben is standing in the hallway outside your apartment, looking handsome as always. He's wearing a tailored dark suit with a black tie, his hair is combed back from his face, dark stubble graces his rugged jaw and a wide smile pulls up at the ends of his lips that makes it very hard to focus on anything else. “Happy Birthday Sweetheart.” 

“I’ve had too many birthdays.” You laugh and wave a hand to brush it off. “What are you doing here, I thought you had an interview about the premiere tomorrow?”

Tomorrow night was the premiere of the third and final installment of Anti-Communist films that Ben was currently staring in. The first two had been utterly ridiculous and you knew that the one tomorrow would be just as pointless. Which you knew for a fact, because one day Ben asked you to meet him on set and you saw a scene he was filming, not to mention one time he tried to get you to run lines with him and you told him you'd rather drop dead than read Countess' lines, who took the co-star role when you refused. Ben’s offer of the co-starring role to you had been his way of appeasing you after you told him you were unhappy. When you refused, Countess had been more than willing to slide into it.  Who was still trying her upmost to get into Ben's pants, but he still completely ignored her, which gave you an unmeasurable amount of joy.

“I told them that I couldn’t miss my girl's birthday.” Ben smiles wider. “Plus I’d much rather spend tonight with you than those fucking vultures and I’ve never missed your birthday.”

Instead of the words "my girl" filling you with happiness as they had the first night Ben said it in the dancehall, they only make you frustrated. He had called you that several times over the years you'd been friends and each time it made you more and more angry. You were tired of it. Tired of Ben acting like Ben only when it was the two of you. Tired of Ben acting like he cared and like he wanted to be more than friends only to crush you the next day. Tired that he called you “my girl” and then did nothing that meant more than friends.  You loved him more than you’d loved anyone ever, took care of him, did everything you could for him, and each time when he didn’t acknowledge it, you felt like you weren’t enough. It made you feel like a kid again when you tried your upmost to please your mother only to have her be disappointed in you each time.

“That’s sweet.” Anger and frustration burns in the back of your throat, but you push it down with a tight lipped smile.

“And I got us reservations, so go get dressed.”

"What?"

"I got reservations. Come on." Ben makes a gesture with his hand.

“Oh I’m okay, I was just going to-“ You motion back at the bottle of wine, the couch, and the box of photos.

“No. I’m not going to let you sit here on your birthday. Come on. Let’s go.” Ben takes your arm and turns you around gently pushing you towards the small hallway that leads back to your bedroom with his hand on the small of your back.

You brace yourself for the warmth that follows with the brush of his fingers against you, but each time you're unprepared for how it makes you feel when he touches you.

“But I don’t have anything to wear! And if you do have a reservation, how much time do I have?” You argue, trying to come up with an excuse to avoid dinner.

As much as you wanted to go, you didn't want to sit there and pretend to be happy. You were tired of doing that, but then you raise your head to look Ben in the eye.

He's smiling down at you the same way he always has, looking like the boy who climbed in your window after flunking out of boarding school to bring you paint and your resolve wavers. You hated saying no to him.

Damn it.

“By the time you stop making excuses it will be time to go. And as sexy as those pajamas are, you can’t wear them to a restaurant.” Ben teases, tugging on the bottom oversized paint-splattered shirt you were wearing

“Fine.” You grumble, cheeks flushing bright red as you snatch the shirt from his hand. “Give me ten minutes.”

"Shut up." Ben laughs from across the table at you. "Your mother loved me!"

His laughter is contagious, making your own release from your lips and ease the tension you are holding in your chest.

The Italian restaurant is small and filled with the soft lit of music from the band in the corner, the rich aromatic smell of food, and has the calming atmosphere of a intimate bar. When Ben parked out front, you were surprised. He usually liked the restaurants on page 6 where other heroes would be found eating and places where he could be photographed for the news, but this place was different, it was almost, special. And the way Ben was acting was unusual.

He'd walked around the car after he parked and took your hand in his, to lead you down the steps to the front door where a hostess had asked for his name. Ben had used his real name rather than Soldier Boy for a reservation and when you walked out of your bedroom wearing the dress you found at the back of your closet that you had for emergencies, you swore you saw his eyes darken as they trailed across your body making your breath catch in your chest. It was odd. Ben had taken you out for your birthday before, but tonight seemed to be filled with a palpable tension and electricity that you couldn’t place.

Then again, you were probably imagining it like always.

The restaurant was perfect, it made you forget about being a supe and the glamorous lifestyle that Ben indulged in and allowed you to pretend that you were normal. However, while you sat there together, you tried not to think about what you were going to have to tell him eventually, that you were leaving. He would ask for an answer why and you’d try to tell him the same thing you told him four years ago while avoiding screaming “because I love you, you fucking idiot” at the top of your lungs. 

But it was difficult to find a way to tell him, not when he had a soft smile on his face and every few minutes Ben would find some reason to touch you. So you allowed yourself to indulge in this, to have this last wonderful memory together before you have to tell him. And in doing so, you let yourself forget being a supe, forget everything else but Ben and you in this moment.

"Oh sure, you were her favorite." You snort into your wineglass. "She put a crucifix up over my window to keep you out. Every time you went to a new boarding school, she prayed in the living room with a rosary to God begging him to keep you far from me and she cried whenever you came back. Not to mention when you got me thrown out of boarding school she forbade me from seeing you-"

"But you couldn’t stay away." Ben sing-songs with a grin before taking a sip from his glass. "And your roommate was a fucking snitch."

"She was." You smile down at the table. "I also think she was a little jealous." You lean back in your chair, holding the wineglass in your right hand.

"Oh and why is that?" Ben's smirk widens.

"Don't make me say it-" Your eyes roll.

"Oh I want to hear you admit it." He leans towards you across the table, eyes shining with a mischievous glint that makes it suddenly hard to breathe.

“Not going to happen.”  You look around the room to distract yourself with the other couples.

All the tables around you were full of people sharing stories, holding hands, brushing feet under the table and for the first time you weren't jealous of their love. The couple next to you was practically breathing the same air, leaning towards each other with sappy looks in their eyes. You were happy for them, allowed yourself to be filled with compassion at their happiness. You remember what you said to Ben four years ago, about wanting to have someone to come home to, someone who loved you and then remember the night at the dancehall watching the elderly couple dance under the twinkling lights holding each other close and gazing deeply into one another's eyes.

You wanted someone to look at you like that, wanted someone to share you life with. You wanted that so badly, that in this moment you knew that you were making the right decision leaving because you would be closer to getting it, because the man across the table from you might be your best friend and have your heart, but he didn’t want to be more. And as much as it hurt to leave the only man you’d ever loved,  you knew it was the right thing.

Ben taps his index finger on your left hand where it rests on the table between you, drawing your eyes back to his. "Did I lose you Doll?"

"Hmm? No sorry. I was-" You smile at him. "Distracted. What were you asking?"

Ben's gaze shifts to the couple sitting to your right, the one you were watching a second ago, who are holding hands on top of the table. The man says something that makes his date laugh and lean towards him to grasp his other hand. The way he smiles at his date makes you smile. Ben's eyes slide back to yours and an odd look flashes through them that you can't identify.

"You know what I was asking." His index finger begins to brush over your knuckles in a smooth circular motion. Warmth trails with his touch, sending goosebumps dancing up your left arm.

Shock buzzes at the back of your mind, you didn't understand why he was doing that, Ben had barely had anything to drink tonight, in fact that was his first and only Whiskey. Not to mention when he showed up at your door he seemed more sober than usual. He didn't smell like reefer. So for him to touch you this much was unusual, especially when he wasn't drunk or high.

“Come on Sweetheart.” He smiles at you in a way that makes your heart ache.

"Fine. Pearl thought you were devilishly handsome and was upset that I danced with you when I had Howard-"

"Don't mention that pussy." Ben’s smirk drops into a frown and he stops moving his finger against the back of your hand.

"I don't understand why you were so jealous of him." You try not to think about how much you wish he would start moving his finger again.

"I was not jealous of that idiot." Ben rolls his eyes.

"Uh-huh. After all these years, you still can't admit it." You tease him taking another sip of wine. It was giving you a pleasant buzz that made you feel just a little bit warm and bold enough to make you brush your thumb against his where his hand sits only a few millimeters from yours.

If he was touching you, you thought that maybe it would be okay for you to touch him, maybe it was okay to pretend that he wanted to hold your hand as much as you wanted to hold his, like the couple next to you were.

"I will if you admit you were jealous of Missy Callahan." Ben's eyes trail down to your thumb before looking back up at you, waiting for your answer.

"I was not-"

Ben raises an eyebrow. “I can hear your heartbeat Doll.”

“Just as I can hear yours Darling.” You smile back at him.

“Y/n.” He chuckles.

You roll your eyes at his ridiculous smile. "Fine, I will admit that was a little jealous of her, but she was awful.  She was dumb as a rock and she was the most terrible gossip-"

"I knew it." Ben smirks.

You sit there in silence for a minute gazing at Ben, your eyebrow raised. "I'm waiting."

"Oh I'm not going to admit that I was jealous of Howard. I just wanted to hear you say the thing about Missy." Ben laughs, beginning to run his index finger against the back of your hand again. His eyes on yours, as if he's gauging your reaction.

"Bastard." You roll your eyes at him. "Did I tell you that I saw Howard?"

"What?" Ben looks surprised.

"Yeah, when I went to my brother's-" You clear your throat remembering when you saw Howard four years ago. You don’t know why he went to your brother’s funeral, but he was there, gray hair slicked back staring at you open mouthed. The last time you'd seen him was the day after he proposed, when you tried to give him back the ring and he refused, stating that he wanted you to keep it, to think about it. He never got over the break up, never dating anyone else, never married. It had been an awkward reunion, especially since he kept trying to corner you, but you evaded him expertly through the crowd. You weren't interested in making awkward small-talk about the past forty years.

Ben's hand finally slips into yours, intwining your fingers together because he understands what you’re about to say. "I'm sorry I didn't go with you, I should have."

It was weird that Ben wasn’t with you, but it was also weird because you tried to comfort your sister in law and her son and his family, but it felt forced. Ben was the only person who understood what it was like for everyone to age around you while you stayed the same. Standing there to celebrate the life of your brother while you, yourself couldn't die completely or even age felt awkward. You found yourself longing for Ben when you were away, wishing that he was there to hold your hand or try to deflect some of the awkward conversations, none of which were focused on your brother and were all about you being a supe. You hated how much you depended on him.

After the funeral you had stayed in Philadelphia an extra week to help your family and when Ben called to see how you were you broke down on the phone. Ben had showed up within the next hour at your hotel and sat with you while you cried. It was one of your favorite memories, because Ben held you gently against him, whispering "It's okay Sweetheart, I've got you" while you pressed your face into his shirt, letting the smell of whiskey and his cologne soak into your skin. It was so unlike him and it made you believe that Ben wanted more, but then he never acknowledged it, like always.

"Ben it's okay, you were there when it mattered. And you went to both of my parent's funerals. Surprising because my mother would have hated that you were there. Always said you were going to ruin my life." You meant for it to be a joke, but the look in Ben's eyes shifts to something more vulnerable for a millisecond before it hardens again.

"Did I?" He asks quietly. Ben looks down at where he was holding your hand, his thumb beginning to move over the smooth skin on the back.

The question catches you off guard. It was the very question that you had been considering the past few days before you finally decided to leave all of this and your best friend. But the truth was you didn't believe that Ben ruined your life, you blamed yourself, blamed yourself for loving your best friend, blamed yourself for loving someone who didn’t love you the same way.

And it wasn’t that you hated your life, it was different than what you would have planned for yourself, but you liked parts of it. Not to mention you would have hated it more if you had said no to Ben and married Howard. If anything, Ben had saved you and you were thankful for that.

Of course the way he's looking at you and holding your hand is making it difficult for you to consider leaving. It seemed like every time you tried, Ben would do something like this- take you out to dinner or act like he wanted you and only you, and then you would reconsider. Four years ago it had been him holding you after your brother’s funeral and now it was this.

"Ben." You sigh, squeezing his hand and putting as much love into your gaze as you can. "No. You didn't. If anything you freed me. I didn't want to be with Howard and I was too afraid to say it until you asked me to come with you.”

“He could have given you a life though. You said that’s what you wanted.” For a second you think you see Ben’s eyes flick to the couple on your right with his words.

Your mind stutters to a halt in surprise. He remembered what we talked about four years ago? After he almost killed Noir?

“Um-" You clear your throat to recover. "And if you remember that conversation, you should also remember I said I didn’t want that life with Howard.”

“Yes, but you said you wanted to marry someone.” The ends of his lip twitches, but he doesn’t smile. “Still waiting on that wedding invite.” His thumb is stroking long smooth patterns on the back of your hand, making your throat tight and making it impossible to think.

“I’m sure you’ll get it any day now. Legend is happy that I finally said yes.”

“I should have known. Y’all looked pretty cozy at that party two weeks ago.” Ben laughs. “So if you’re engaged to him, does that mean you don’t want your birthday present?”

“I’ve said it once and I’ve said it again, I’m too old for birthdays.”

“Then why did you come out with me?”

“Oh I’m just going to write this off as old friends having dinner. That or a kidnapping. You practically dragged me to the car.”

“Be thankful I let you change.” Ben replies.

“I don’t know, I think I would have really made a statement with my paint splattered shirt and sweatpants."

You’d chosen the dress you were wearing at random. It was a dark green, the same color as Ben’s supe suit, off your right shoulder cinched around your waist and fell elegantly to your ankles. It was one of your favorites, something you believed accentuated your body effortlessly.

"They were something. Though I think that you-" Ben pauses, dropping his eyes to where he's still holding your hand, before looking back up at you. "Um-"

"What?" You smile.

He clears his throat, a soft smile on his face. "I think you look beautiful now too."

Your next words dry up in your mouth, there's not a shred of joking or teasing in Ben's eyes. Ben had said it before, but with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but now there is only sincerity. And it makes your heart jolt out of rhythm.

He said too. That means that he thought I looked beautiful before when I was-

"Thank you." You flush red and squeeze his hand. "I don't think you look too bad yourself, you know, for a old man." You add that last part because you don’t know what to say when he's looking at you like that.

Ben's smile slips into a frown. "You should be nicer to me, I got you a birthday present."

“See, you keep saying that, but I haven’t seen it.”

“I thought you didn’t want it.” The mischievous glint is back in his eye.

“I could be persuaded.” You smirk.

Ben releases your hand and reaches into his coat pocket to pull out a long navy blue velvet box wrapped in a thick silver bow before sliding it across the white tablecloth.

“You get me another paintbrush?” You smirk running a fingertip over the velvet top to examine it while acutely missing the feeling of his hand grasped in yours.

“Something like that.”

“Did you steal it?” You pick up the box and wave it for emphasis, remembering all the times Ben stole little things from the stores that lined Downtown Philadelphia and the box he had hidden under his bed filled with random trinkets.

You never understood why he did that. Ben's family was almost as wealthy as yours and although his father didn't approve of anything Ben was doing, he never cut him off.

“Maybe.” He shrugs and leans on the table towards you, his eyes filled with excitement.

“With how much money they pay you for those ridiculous films you shouldn’t be stealing anything.”

“I’m sure if you sold your artwork instead of shoving it in the closet you’d be just as wealthy as me.”

“Yes, but my grand plan is to have you pay for everything so I can continue to use you and I can’t do that if I’m rich."

“You can use me anytime sweetheart.” Ben winks.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes at him, but can't stop the blush that stains your cheeks at his insinuation.

Everything about tonight felt just like old times, the way he joked with you and the way you couldn't stop smiling, but at the same time, something else nagged at the back of your mind. The handholding was new, as were the compliments and deeper conversation, especially because Ben wasn't drunk or high, and yet he was being gentler than usual, almost soft. And that was something Ben never was, at least not in public.

You tried not to be frustrated with the turn of events and just enjoy the moment, but deep down you wanted to know.

Was Ben doing this because he cared? Or was he doing this because he sensed I was unhappy and that I was leaving and he thought this was the only way to keep me around?

“Come on, open it.”

“Fine.” You smile down at the box and slowly slide off the bow. “Please tell me you have photos of you trying to tie this bow. Preferably while you were wearing your supe suit.”

“I already destroyed the evidence.”

 “Figures.” You sigh. “Would have been a nice birthday present.”

“I think this is better, but given the pace you’re going at I’ll still be sitting here waiting for you to open it at your next birthday.” Ben takes a drink from his glass.

“Which I won’t be celebrating.”

"Oh you're going to. I’ll make sure.” 

You roll your eyes at him, before finally opening the velvet box and your next joke is forgotten as you struggle to catch your breath. You were expecting something art related. Ben always got you brushes, paints, colored pencils, and any other art supply-like gift, because he knew that you liked those things but not tonight. Because for your 65th birthday Ben decided to get you something that took your breath away.

Nestled in black velvet is a pearl necklace, elegant, beautiful, catching in the fluttering warm light of the restaurant as the band in the corner continues to play a jazzy tune that makes you remember the records your father would listen to while he smoked before bedtime.

“Ben-“ You begin to say, but you can’t finish your sentence, you're too surprised to say anything else.

Not once in all the years you’d been friends had Ben bought you jewelry. Shopping for his birthday was harder, his last one you had gotten him a pair of silver cufflinks that he was currently wearing, but each time you bought him something like that it didn't feel like you were revealing too much about how you felt and it never felt like a gift you would give someone who was more than your friend. But now, staring down at the necklace that Ben bought you feels, intimate almost romantic.

“I remembered how upset you were when you lost the one your dad got you.” Ben says slowly, his eyes on you. “I know it’s not the same one, but the lady in the store said it was the most like the ones they made when we were younger and I thought-“ He rubs the back of his neck. “Um- I thought you’d like it.”

You smile, still unable to speak, fighting the happy tears that build behind your eyes. You had lost the necklace your father got you a few months ago and you tore your entire apartment apart to find it. Ben had walked right into the middle of the chaos and found you a sobbing mess.

Your father had bought it for you on your 23rd birthday. It was your first birthday as a supe and your first one away from home. Your father had it delivered to you with a vase of fresh cut lavender, because you couldn’t go home and he couldn’t get away.  It was one of the last things you had from him, besides the antique watch perched on your wrist.

“I can’t believe you remembered that.” You swallow the ball of emotion lodged in your throat.

“I do listen to you.”

You look up and raise an eyebrow.

“Sometimes.” His soft smile makes you feel light headed and makes you wish all over again that you had the courage to tell Ben the three little words that you'd always wanted to.

“I don’t know what to say-“

“Too much? Because I can take it back and buy you a paintbrush-“ Ben starts to reach for the box, but you catch his hand against the table tangling your fingertips together.

“No. It's perfect. Thank you Ben.”

He looks relieved by your answer. “You’re welcome.”

The soft sounds of conversation swell around you mixing with the tinkling of utensils against plates and the music that pours from the band in the corner where a singer dressed in a long red sequined gown sings a familiar song. But you can't stop admiring the necklace nestled in the fabric, your hand still clasped in Ben's on top of the table.

Ben finally breaks the silence. “Do you want me to help you put it on?”

You blink for a minute to comprehend what he was asking, raising your eyes to his genuine smile. "Please.”

Ben stands from his chair and comes around behind you as you gently twist your hair out of the way, so he has access to your neck. His rough fingertips brush against the smooth skin of your neck sending a shiver down your spine that you hope Ben misses because how would you explain that? When he secures it at the back of your neck you look down at the pearls, holding them between your thumb and forefinger.

"They're beautiful." You whisper, before looking back up at him.

"Yes, beautiful." He responds, but Ben isn't looking at your necklace, his eyes are locked on your face.

What is going on?

"Ben-" You begin to say, attempting for the first time to ask him why he does this, acts different around you, gives you hope and then takes it all away, but he interrupts you.

"Come on." His hand falls on yours and he pulls you up out of your chair, weaving through the other tables to stand in front of the band in the corner. His right hand finds the small of your back, while his left gently holds your right in the air.

"What are you doing?" You ask.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ben smiles. "We're dancing."

"No one else is dancing." You look around the room at the couples sitting quietly together enjoying their meals, who have begun to watch Ben and you sway to the music.

He leans forward to whisper into the curve of your ear. "Then let's show them how it's done Sweetheart."

You can't help but laugh at him, enjoying the way that he feels pressed against you, how it makes you feel alive in the best way, how you feel safe in his arms. Being here, swaying to the last few notes of the song with him made you reconsider leaving again. Ben was the only person who knew you completely, inside and out, the only person who seemed to understand you. Choosing to leave him would be like choosing to leave home, because after everything you'd been through, Ben was home.

As soon as the song ends, the one that follows is familiar, a tune that sparks a memory at the back of your mind. You raise your eyes to Ben's. His are crinkled with his smile, a mischievous glint behind them.

"Ben, did you tell them to play-"

"Yeah. I told them to play our song." He whispers, holding you tighter against him.

The memory of the night you first danced warms against your skin. You remembered it well. It was the night that you almost told him you loved him, the same thing you were considering right now. You couldn't believe that he remembered the song you danced to. You smile at the memory of that night, when Ben punched Howard in the face and it gave you a sickening amount of joy.

“What are you smiling at?” Ben asks you.

“I still can’t believe you hit him.” You shake your head with a laugh.

"He hurt you. And I didn't like that he made me stop dancing with my girl."

You sigh before you can stop yourself the phrase immediately making the laughter dissipate and making the warm feeling at his touch fade. Tonight Ben was again making you think that he wanted to be more, and worst of all it was making it harder to leave. Because what if this was him trying to tell you the only way he knew how? What if this was him finally admitting that he loved you and you just left?

"What?” He frowns down at you.

“I don’t know why you keep calling me that.”

"What?"

"Your 'girl'." You bite the inside of your cheek to keep the frustration from making you say more.

 “You don't think you are?"

“What do you think it means? To me it means being in a relationship with someone. We have been friends for over fifty years and you have never once said that you wanted to be more-"

"I did try to propose.” Ben jokes, not understanding that you’re upset.

"Really? That was your proposal?" You scoff rolling your eyes. "A joke while you were sitting on my shitty couch drunk off your ass while trying to apologize for almost killing Noir and telling me that you hate when I get in your way?  Forgive me for imagining some big gesture and for not swooning."

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

“Oh please-“

“I’m fucking serious.” He shrugs.

“What?” You look him in the eye to look for the teasing glint, but it's not there, Ben looks serious.

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

“Don’t tease me.”

“I’m not.” Ben’s eyes lock with yours. “I also didn’t apologize for almost killing him. And I do hate when you get in my way." 

"Yes, I figured that given how angry you looked." You roll your eyes, glancing to look at the couples around you again, but this time the happiness you felt for them is gone. The jealousy is back coupled with the frustration of Ben acting like Ben and then pulling a complete 180 the next day and making you question everything. Because you wanted to exist in the moments that he was still Ben and you didn’t want to leave him, but you did want to leave Soldier Boy. The problem was right now all you saw was Ben and you hated that you couldn’t enjoy it because you knew it would end. Someone would piss him off or he’d get drunk or high or go down the rabbit hole with some other woman and Ben would be gone.

You didn’t understand how he could go from hot to cold so quickly.

“But I didn’t lie when I said I’d never hurt you.” Ben's voice rumbles up through where his chest is pressed against yours.

You want to say that you believe him, but after the past forty years you weren’t sure anymore. And that thought hurt more than anything else. You didn’t know your best friend anymore, and it scared you.

Your eyes are leveled on Ben’s chest, by now he’s stopped swaying you to the music. You know what will happen when you look up into his eyes, he'll make a joke or say something like the last forty years never happened and you'll crumble like always. You can feel his breath against your face, the warmth of his body transferring through his chest and soaking into yours.

“Y/n, please look at me.” He releases your hand and cups your cheek to tilt you head upwards to him. The one still planted on your back slides down to your waist, tightening around you as you lock eyes with him. “You know that I’d never hurt you. Right?”

Ben's eyes lock on yours, the love and care reflected in the irises makes your body burn. He's never looked at you like that, looked at you like you were the only woman in the world and deep down it makes you want to pull him close and whisper the three little words you've wanted to say for fifty seven years.

You focus on Ben's words to shake it off, it was the same thing he’d said four years ago, but this time the air between you is charged with electricity.

And you can’t take it anymore.

“Why?” You whisper.

It catches him off guard. “What?”

“Why are you different with me? When the cameras stop rolling, when the team goes home, when it’s just the two of us, you’re different." You stop to catch your breath.  "Ben, I’ve known you for fifty seven years. And in the last forty you’ve changed. But not around me, not when it’s just the two of us. You show up at my apartment in the middle of the night, we talk, we laugh about the past, you sleep in my bed, you call me 'your girl'-”

“You’ve known me longer than anyone else-” His hand is still cupping your cheek now, thumb gently brushing against the smooth skin making your throat tight.

“But even before all this, when we were still in Philadelphia. You were always around me, showing up, taking me out to do things in the city. Ben, we both know how you are. I watched you chase after whatever caught your eye and even now-“ You shake your head frustrated. “But you never act that way with me.”

Ben is quiet for a minute, his eyes searching yours, soft green in the fluttering lights above your heads. “Because you’re different y/n. You’ve always been different.”

“But that doesn’t tell me why Ben. We’ve been doing this for so long and I want-“ You sigh frustrated with yourself because you can’t say it, can’t say that you want him. “I mean I’m not sure if I can-“ You were going to say that you weren’t sure you could do this anymore, that you wished he would let you go, wished that you could walk away, and wished that he would stop giving you hope that the two of you could be something more because you couldn’t do it.

But the words are stopped when his lips meet yours.

You inhale sharply in surprise, before your entire body melts against his, deepening the kiss as you drag your hands up into his dark hair, while your mind goes blissfully blank. Ben’s mouth is firm but tender against yours, moving in a slow dance that makes warm tingles trail down your spine. The hand that was on your cheek, joins the other on your waist. His hand tightens on your hip as your song continues to play while the other presses against the small of your back to secure you against him. The solidness of his chest is familiar, molding against your curves in the best way as if he was made for you and you were made for him. You feel his thumb begin to circle slowly against the fabric on your hipbone and suddenly you remember the night he helped you loosen your corset and all you wanted was him. You never thought it would feel like this.

When you finally pull away for air, Ben doesn’t let you go far, he leans his forehead against yours, the look in his eyes is surprisingly vulnerable, as if he thinks you’re going to push him away.

“I-“ He begins, his green eyes are wide almost afraid.

Why?

You raise your hands to gently cup his strong jaw, searching his eyes with a smile to confirm you aren't going anywhere, before pulling him back to you for another kiss that makes your toes curl in the tight shoes you forced them into an hour ago. Ben sighs into your mouth, a soft sound that surprises you. You had seen him kiss other people before. Ben was anything but gentle, but now you believed that he reserved that gentleness just for you and it made you feel like you were going to melt into a puddle.

When you pull back again, Ben’s forehead is still against yours, his eyes bright and unmoving from your face. For a moment neither of you speaks, too afraid to break the silence.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours Sweetheart?” Ben asks, the deep rumble of his voice working up through where your chest is pressed against his. His expression is gentle, and he brings up one of the hands that was on your waist to trace the pillow of your lips with his thumb.

And before you lose your nerve your smile curves into a smirk.  “Took you long enough Benjamin.”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes at you.

“Make me.” You mutter against his thumb.

And then he’s kissing you again, moving his lips in tandem with yours while your heart flutters and dances. And you never want it to end, because he's kissing you like he never wants to let you go and you're kissing him like you don't want him to.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Ben mutters against your lips with a smile, his deep eyes catching yours. "Don't be jealous of Missy Callahan. She's nothing compared to you, never has been, never will be."

Your heart warms, cheeks blushing with his words, because even after all these years, Ben still knew exactly what to say. You hold his face reverently, admiring the familiar dips and curves, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. "Don't be jealous of Howard. He meant nothing to me. No one means as much to me as you do Ben."  You whisper back before you kiss him and allow yourself to fall again, hoping that this time he’ll catch you.

“Did you want something to drink?” You ask Ben, gesturing with your free hand towards the kitchen.

Standing in your apartment feels different post kiss. It feels like this all represents something bigger now. The apartment, him coming upstairs even though he has spent most of the nights here since you bought it and of course the way he’s looking at you, how he’s been unable to stop looking at you since he kissed you.

“Are you going to get it for me?” Ben is still holding your hand, had held it the entire car ride, only releasing it when he got out to open the door for you and then took it again as you walked up to your apartment. His thumb is moving across the back in a soothing motion that makes you want to curl up in the warmth that trails behind like a cat in the sun.

“I’m sure you remember where it is”

“Mhmm.” Ben is eyeing you again, the green in his eyes darkening in a way that makes your throat tight.

You’re not sure who moves first, all you know is that someone closes the distance between you, and you lose yourself in him. Your curves melt against the hard muscles of Ben’s chest and arms as he pulls you into him, his hands  gripping your waist so tight that you know there might be bruises but you don’t care.

Your hands trail up his muscular chest to tangle in his hair, pulling at the darkened strands and forcing his mouth harder against yours.

He tastes like whiskey and smoke, night and day, and all those bittersweet moments you’ve shared over the years you’ve known him. There is no semblance of Soldier Boy left behind, it’s just Ben and you and it's everything you wanted for so long. The kiss is charged with so much emotion and tension you feel something inside you snap and warmth floods your body in its wake. Ben moans into your mouth, his hands coming down to sweep low over your curves and ignites a fire in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt before.

There had been others try to do exactly this. Other heroes you politely declined because you didn’t feel anything for them. You remember the kisses with Howard, passionless, boring, but being here with Ben was like nothing you’d ever imagined. The subtle scratch of his scruff against your cheeks makes you lose all feeling in your legs, his strong embrace makes goosebumps burn against your skin, and the sounds he’s making against your lips makes your heart seize in your chest.

He backs you up and you both fall on the couch in a tangle of limbs, his body caging you beneath him while his fingertips boldly trail against your body, finding places that make you moan into his mouth.

You can feel his smirk against your lips and you’ve never felt more sexy in your life. Ben’s moans against every piece of skin he can get his lips against make you blush crimson and echo his cries with soft sounds that make him grip you tighter. His hands are everywhere, coaxing along your curves, discovering places that you didn’t know could be sensitive and that make you gasp and arch against him as he continues to kiss you.

Everything about this feels right, feels perfect, as if you were both made for this exact moment. The subtle drag of his hands against you, the firm assertive way he holds you beneath him, how your body responds to his touch, and the way your heart continues to swell in your chest, frantically beating as if it wishes to break free. You forget about all the other women he's ever been with, all the others he's probably held close, nothing else exists at this moment, nothing else exists except him and you here on this couch. His lips ghost to your neck as he sucks a mark into the column of your throat and you realize he's saying your name over and over the way that no one ever has.

There’s a loud ripping noise and you understand that Ben ripped off the bottom half of your dress, the tattered remains just barely brushing against your thighs. But you can’t be angry with him for that, not when everything he’s doing feels perfect.

Ben’s hands slowly begin to push up the bottom of your now ruined dress and you come back down from your high, feeling the gentle press of his fingers against your thigh as they begin to move upwards.

“Ben-" You breathe.

You hate how breathy your voice sounds, but the new sensations running through your body are almost too overwhelming for you to gain control of. If you weren't both as indestructible as you were you would be afraid of the possibility of killing Ben.

He moans into your neck, working his hand up further to a place that makes your grip his shoulders tight and you leave bruises of your own, because you’re the only person strong enough to bruise him, to leave marks against his almost invulnerable skin. And it makes a shudder go down his spine.

"Ben wait-"

He stops, looking down at you with wide eyes, pupils dilated in a way that almost sends you back into a frenzy with him. "What's wrong?" He is also out of breath, chest rising and falling fast. You can hear his heart beat thundering in his chest, beating in tandem with yours.

“Before we do this I just want to tell you that I’ve never-" You bite your lip nervously. "I've never done this before.”

“This?” He looks confused, withdrawing his hand from under your ruined dress.

“Well- you know." You gesture between the two of you. "This.”

"You've never had sex with anyone before?"

"No." You flush bright red wondering if that's a deal breaker for him. If he wanted someone more experienced. "I’m sorry."

He sits there for a minute, staring down at you. "Why are you apologizing?” Ben’s hand brushes your hair away from your face in a gentle gesture, so different than the heavy caresses of his hands against your curves he did earlier.

“I don’t know.” You whisper embarrassed. “I just- everyone else has and I’m pretty sure you have with millions of people.”

“Well not millions.”

“But still.” You suddenly think that this was a giant mistake, that you should just go to your room in shame. You drop your eyes to his chest embarrassed.

His hands are stroking along your waist, toying with the frayed edges of your dress. “Y/n.” He whispers.

“What?” You mumble.

Ben raises his hand to cup your cheek, turning your gaze back on him. The way he’s looking at you causes a hot jolt of energy to race down your spine and makes you wish that you were more confident or knew what you were doing.

 He’d been with hundreds of women all kinds of women and what had I been doing all these years? Nothing and no one. I’m not really sure if I understood the mechanics OF sex- but oh how I wished. My head was just getting in the way of everything else as usual.

“I will admit that I have slept with a lot of women.” Ben sighs. “But it’s okay. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to-“

“I want to.”

 “Are you sure? I don’t know if I’m the best person for this-“ And for a moment you think he looks almost worried.

Why would he think that?

“I’m sure. I want it to be you. I’ve always wanted it to be you.” You breathe, running your hands through his hair, your cheeks flushing bright red with your confession, afraid that you’re saying too much, giving too much away as to how much he means to you.

“Really?” Ben smiles in a way that makes your breath catch.

You nod.

“I can’t promise it won’t hurt.” The darkness in his eyes shifts to something else and for a moment it’s difficult for you to form a sentence. He leans his forehead against yours, searching your eyes.  “I don’t want to hurt you.” Ben whispers it like a secret.

“You’re not going to hurt me. I trust you Ben.” You whisper, knotting you hands in his hair.

“You do?”

You nod your head. “And I’m pretty sure that I’m just as capable of hurting you-“

“Maybe.” The look in his eyes is back, blazing through his green irises in a way that makes your throat swell closed. He bends over to whisper against the curve of your ear. “Then again, I kinda like that Sweetheart.” His lips brush just behind your right ear, making a shiver go down your spine. Ben smiles at your reaction before he dips down to kiss you, but it’s different, the kiss is soft, trusting, and not the previous manic haze of desire it was previously. “ I know you think it’s a big deal, but I like that I’m your first. Because it means that no other man has touched you, made you feel any of the things that I’m going to do to you, and that I’ll never have to share you with anyone else.” His grip on your waist tightens possessively. “That you’ll be completely and utterly mine and no one else can do a damn thing.”

You inhale and try not to faint from the darkened look in his eyes. “Well when you put it that way-“

“Come on.” Ben stands from the couch.

Before you can get up to follow he picks you up like you weigh nothing causing you to automatically wrap your thighs around his waist as he kisses you feverishly again, wiping your mind of anything and everything but him.

“What are you doing?” You breathe, entangling your hands at the nape of his neck to secure yourself.

“I’m not going to let your first time be on some shitty couch.” He mutters against your lips while adjusting his grip under your legs

And with that he takes you down the hall and kicks your bedroom door closed behind you.

A/N: Well it finally happened. Unfortunately this is also when all hell breaks loose…

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for this series let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126, @simplyfixated @sleepjam, @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts

@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan

[solarmorrigan]

steddie and 💗 for the kiss ask game!

Hello! Thank you for the prompt, I really enjoyed writing this one <3

💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft

Prompt from this post

-

If anyone asks, Eddie will say he prefers to work while standing because he thinks better when he can move around.

And this isn’t a lie; whether he’s crafting a campaign, working on a new song, drawing, or doing some writing, he has a tendency to get up and pace, or to run to grab something for a reference, or stand and try acting something out to see how it rolls, or– well. His desk chair doesn’t really see a lot of use.

So it’s true that he thinks better while standing; it’s just not the main reason he prefers it.

The main reason is that he happens to be a night owl, and his boyfriend—his beloved, his one and only, his baby—is a horrible, horrible morning person. Which means that he tends to go to bed earlier than Eddie. Which means that when Eddie works late into the night, eventually–

“Hey.” A warm, familiar weight drapes itself across Eddie’s back, arms coming up to circle his waist, the voice a sleepy purr in his ear as a chin rests on his shoulder.

“Hey.” Eddie smiles, tilting his head to the side just enough to bump it against Steve’s. “What’s up?”

Steve hums, the sound sighing out of him as he leans further onto Eddie. “It’s late.”

“Yeah?” Eddie glances at the clock; it’s just gone midnight, which isn’t that late, but he’ll play along. “Guess so.”

“I think I’m heading to bed,” Steve says, pulling back just enough to press a kiss to Eddie’s shoulder, before tucking his chin right back where it had been.

“So is this goodnight?” Eddie asks, pressing back into Steve a little.

“Mm,” Steve hums again, more contemplative than in agreement. “Doesn’t have to be.”

“You gonna stay out here with me, then, sunshine?” Eddie teases, and Steve leans a little more heavily against him in retaliation, just enough that Eddie has to readjust his stance so he doesn’t topple over into the desk.

“Bed’s cold without you,” Steve says, predictable as ever. “You should come with me.”

As if Steve isn’t the main reason the bed is warm when they’re both in it; Eddie’s own personal space heater.

“But what if I’m busy?” Eddie asks, nudging Steve with his elbow.

“Are you busy?” Steve asks.

And it’s an honest question, Eddie knows; if he tells Steve ‘yes,’ then Steve will let him be and he’ll head to bed on his own without any hard feelings. But he’s really just been doodling for the last half hour, and he doesn’t mind the idea of being convinced to follow Steve.

“I guess I could find a place to stop,” Eddie hedges.

“Yeah?” Steve asks, turning his head to press a few more kisses up the side of Eddie’s throat.

They’re slow, sleepy, gentle things; not leading anywhere, really, just affectionate. In spite of that (maybe even because of it), they still make goosebumps pop up across Eddie’s skin.

“For you?” Eddie says, wiggling around in Steve’s hold until he can turn enough to face him. “Anything.”

Steve’s bright smile paired with heavy-lidded eyes is probably one of Eddie’s favorite things.

“You’ll find a place to stop your super important doodling, just for me?” Steve asks slyly, and Eddie can’t help but laugh.

Busted.

“Just for you, baby,” Eddie says anyway, leaning in for a quick kiss that really ends up being more of a brush of smiling mouths.

“Well,” Steve says, his gaze warm and pleased, like Eddie’s done something great (the way he always looks at Eddie, the way Eddie will never, ever get enough of), “lucky me.”

[artsyannierose]

Talk to me about how Angel always being scared of ruining his first healthy relationship (with Husk) so he tries to be as “easy to love” as possible but Husk loves him flaws and all:3.

(Btw I cherish your doodles)

Huskerdust doodle just for you anon <3

I COULD TALK ABOUT HUSKERDUST ALL DAY ANYDAY YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON

Well let’s see hm Angel has had little to no experience in relationships

Like bro was a closeted gay when he was alive and presumably had no proper “relationships” with anyone other than Valentino and…well we know how that turned out

So he probably is going to have a hard time even comprehending the fact that Husk even loves him for who he is as a person and not to bed him like literally everyone else has

Like honestly when was the last time ANYONE gave Anthony/Angel Dust aftercare??? I’m willing to bet never. Everyone he’s ever slept with never stayed till morning or let him get even maybe a glass of water, he was just kicked out after business was done and done. Then he would just cope with all of it with drugs and Valentino I assume

Now he’s got a man who already made it clear that he doesn’t want this fake Angel Dust persona that everyone else wants to sleep with because of what they see on their TV screen, but is rather interested in getting to know this broken boy behind the facade. Nevermind the fact that they are together, Husk is first and foremost his best friend (aside from Cherri but like Cherri is his bestie to get into shit with yk) and the kind of understanding they share is way beyond “yeah you’re hot let’s fuck” like Husk is no fuckbuddy if hes fucking Angel then obviously he’s there to stay (which i love about him)

So Angel’s automatic response because of the derogatory way Valentino has treated him would be “omg I can’t mess this up i canNOT mess this up” and he would do everything in his power to make sure Husk is thoroughly comfortable and never shows any signs of disgust or such if ykwim. Husk is a bit too flustered at Angel flirting a bit too much? He’ll dial it back tenfold. Husk pins his ears back at listening to Angel vent about Valentino doing something shitty to him? Angel will change the subject. He’d probably be so overly cautious about Husk’s little reactions that Husk probably isn’t even aware of himself

Because the problem now is Angel thinks Husk loves him for how Angel makes him feel rather than Husk loving him for who he is. He’s just. In denial man. So he tries to basically “pay him back” by being the perfect boyfriend, and i say this assuming they HAVENT slept with each other yet because if they haven’t figured this out Husk would probably say its too early lmaooo. So when I say being the perfect boyfriend, i mean like cuddles and kisses and helping each other out, venting, all that cute stufffff

I’m sure Angel is just trying to doeverything he can without like alerting Valentino to the two of them because BOY that would end badly.

Anyway one day Husk asks him why he’s not really being himself (because of course Husk can read him because why couldn’t he) and Angel’s like “wdym” and Husk just prompts him like “you hide all the bad parts from me much more now than before (like before they got together) and maybe Angel isn’t even aware of this until Husk points it out. It’s gonna take him a second to open up just because he’s not used to it but Husk just makes him comfortable, he’d total all put Angel in his lap and just purr until he’s comfortable nskdnfssfiwvagfjnderhgr

Angel finally pours out his insecurities like a tide and hides his face in Husk’s chest while everything just comes out once he’s started. After hes done he would say something like “I didn’t want you to see me like this…im so sorry” but just bury himself further into Husk while Husk is just taking a second to process everything he just said.

Hed probably do something sappy like tilt Angel’s chin up and peck his lips before telling him “What makes you think I wouldn’t love you past your fears and flaws?” (IDC I WANT SAPPY IM. HERE FOR SAPPSYYPYYPY)

Hold on holy shit creativewriting burst right here SHORT DRABBLE YALL I WILL REBLOG THIS WITH A SMALL FICLET

ANYWAY YES HUSKERDUST ANGEL PROBABLY WILL STYART CRYING AND HUSK WILL JUST CUDDLE HIM CLOSER AND WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS WHILE ANGEL CRIES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HUSK

GOSHHHHHHH I love them sm I’ll shut up now ok bye

why can I write an essay for Huskerdust for free and not write one to save my English grade-

[knightfcll]

nightcap

welt x reader, 1.6k

note: 🤪 im like not even caught up but i love this gilf tew much okay bye. My first reader fic on da blog, blease be nice 2 me <3

content notes: ❗️❗️🔞🔞🔞❗️❗️ explicit smut here, minors do NOT interact!!! Reader is gender neutral, no specific references to pronouns/body type/genitalia for reader, brief oral sex, penetrative sex, reader calls welt “mr yang” a lot 🥴

The Astral Express is quiet. You've finally returned after another long and difficult journey on another strange, new planet. Everyone else has retired to their own rooms for a well deserved rest, but you still wander the halls. Mr. Yang had stayed behind for this assignment and to say that you felt his absence was an understatement.

You had lasted all of five minutes in your own bed before throwing off the covers and deciding to seek him out. Without the exhaustion of adventure weighing him down, he's likely still awake, perhaps poring over a newspaper from your latest excursion. You make sure to bring one back for him if he's not there; he says it's so he can get a better idea of what effect the Stellaron's had on the planet, but you see how quickly he turns to the comic strips. You'll catch him doodling the characters later, sometimes changing their features, doing two and three different sketches that he thinks you won't see.

You're only half right. You find him almost exactly as you'd imagined when you slip into his room, except his brows are furrowed. He's tapping a pencil against the paper.

“Need any help, Mr. Yang?”

He looks at you briefly before returning to his crossword puzzle. "Evening. And yes."

You smile and saunter towards him, crawling onto the bed eagerly. He opens his arms without prompting, allowing you to settle into his lap with your back to his chest. He has most of it filled out already, with only the bottom left grid glaringly empty. Mr. Yang is one of the smartest people, which is why you like to tease him when he has to ask you for help with these things, but he's also the most mature, which accounts for the good natured chuckle you typically get in response.

"What's the clue?"

"Eight letters. 'Hot term for a recent admirer.'"

You make a show of scrunching up your face and delicately take the pencil from him. Your handwriting isn't quite as neat as his, but finds a certain charm in it.

Welt hums appreciatively. "'New flame.' I think you could be right."

You beam. "Bested by the newcomer, Mr. Yang. You'll have to ask me to explain strange things out in the wild next time we leave the Express."

He chuckles. He thinks it's cute when you try to tease him like this; you're all bark and no bite, really. You fold as soon as he gets his hands on you.

Like right now, as his fingers ghost over your thigh. You lean into it as much as you can, but he's so good at holding back. It's the sweet sting of having someone like Welt for a lover: a wealth of experience to keep you satisfied for hours on end, but the patience and precision needed to keep you just on edge until he thinks you're ready.

"Did you need something?" He says it so casually, like he doesn't know your skin is burning underneath him.

You turn your head to look at him. It's there again, that little bit of sharpness in his gaze that seems to go right through you. He's already thinking about all the ways he can unmake you.

"Just you," you say, waiting the precious few moments it takes for the spark to ignite.

Welt kisses you, softly at first. His hands roam over your thighs, just ghosting underneath your sleep shorts. You whine the third time he does it, unable to handle the loss of his touch. He pulls away.

“Patience.”

You pout. He notices everything. “I’m not impatient.”

He humphs in disbelief. “Don’t make a sound until I tell you to.”

Any other night, you might protest his rigidity. Be the brat he likes you to be, until you’re a sobbing mess in hands, begging him to just fuck you and stop teasing. Tonight, however, you’re inclined towards obedience. You hush up and wait the agonizing few moments that he waits, watching for any sign of defiance. Satisfied, he kisses you again, hungrier this time, sliding his tongue over yours. You hold back a moan when he digs his fingers into your thighs.

Welt pushes you down. He trails his lips down your body, over your chest, your sensitive nipples. He halts just below your belly button, kissing the skin lightly while he pulls down your shorts. You shiver once your exposed to the cool air.

Anticipation burns inside you when he pulls your leg up and over his shoulder. He slowly teases your entrance with his tongue, giving it slow, featherlight licks that he soon follows up with a finger.

“Mr. Yang,” you say, unable to resist calling out as he speeds up.

He doesn’t respond, choosing to punish you instead by letting up. He knows it’s agony, feeling his warm breath on you where you need him most.

It’s too much. You give up on obedience and let desperation take hold as you grab at welt’s shoulders and pull him in to kiss you. Your taste lingers on his tongue. “Mr. Yang, please…“

Welt palms at your ass. It’s a nice reminder that he’s far more affected by you than he typically comes off. Although his words are often measured and his tone even, the way he touches you is nothing short of ravenous.

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

You’re on the brink of tears now. Your legs are locked around his hips, his fingers are rubbing and pinching your nipple. He knows, but he likes to make you say it. “Mr. Yang, please, please,”

He doesn’t budge. You reach for the drawstring on his pants yourself, but he grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth instead. “You can speak, can’t you? Use your words.”

You watch as he pulls your finger into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. He’ll keep going, ignoring your pleas while he toys with you long past the rising of the sun. He’s done it before.

You draw a shaky breath.

“Mr. Yang, I need you inside me.”

You wait for his response. He almost looks bored, that half-awake look he gets when he’s quizzing you on the values of each Aeon with hands roaming across your chest.

He kisses your palm. “Keep going.”

“Welt,” his given name falls from your lips, a strained whisper that sets Welt on edge, “please fuck me, I can’t take it anymore, please.“

Welt lets go of your hand. He disentangles himself from you fully, ignoring your desperate whines. You hear his pants fall to the floor and then he’s hovering over you again, sliding a hand under your shoulder.

“Turn around.”

You hear him, but you’re too distracted by the sight of his weeping cock to really pay attention. He sighs and gently lifts you, maneuvering you so you’re on your hands and knees with your back to him.

Tears of relief fall down your face when Welt drapes himself over your back. You feel him lining himself up with your entrance. You shudder when he finally enters you. His grip on your waist tightens. He lets his cock stay sheathed in you for an agonizing moment before he pulls out and starts to set a rhythm. The slow friction stirs something in Welt; he lets go of your waist and covers your hand with his own. He curses above you and moves in closer, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.

“I want to hear you. Please,” Welt gasps. It makes your heart skip.

You call out to him, moaning his name in a quiet voice that gets louder and louder as his thrusts quicken. Your words become more frantic, endless declarations of how much you need him interrupted by broken sobs of pleasure. Welt speaks your name, too, in between ragged breaths and the rapid stuttering of his hips, curses falling from his lips in a constant prayer.

“Mr. Yang,” you say, because you know how his breathing stops when you call him that, just like the first time it did when he had you on your knees in his bedroom, “Mr. Yang, I love you.”

Welt’s final thread of composure snaps. He hooks his arm around your throat and buried his face in your neck. His hips slap against you harder than before, but he still has the presence of mind to reach down and tease you one last time to put you over the edge. Waves of ecstasy roll through as you give one final, strangled shout.

Welt follows soon after, his thrusts becoming increasingly erratic until he buries himself to the hilt and groans deep into your skin. You both slump forward, breathing heavily. He kisses your neck sloppily before finally pulling out with a sigh. He pulls you once to get you to clean up, but you don’t budge, a telltale look of bliss on your face. He gives up and leaves you, returning with clean cloths to wipe you down. You watch him from the corner of your eye as he flips you onto your back and takes care of you.

“Thanks, Welt.”

He smiles softly, but doesn’t look at you, focused on his task. He climbs back into the bed once he’s done, flat on his back. You lean over and rest your head on his chest.

Exhaustion weighs you down suddenly. Even though you left the mission early to see Welt, the trip back to the express hadn’t been easy. It feels like you’ll drift off into sleep as soon as you close your eyes. So you do, but not before reaching up to kiss Welt just under his chin.

[starlostseungmin]

thirteen, hjs.

✰ notes: hi i know it’s been a while! i hope you’re still here waiting for me but i get that you’re not since i was long gone and didn’t say anything TT y’all i’m not officially back but here’s a short drabble i made after hearing han’s 13. the man made me bawl my eyes out. don’t forget to reblog, leave tags and comment! — i wrote this drabble a few minutes after i heard the song mehehe

✰ tags: @felixglow , @soonyoungblr , @awkwardnesshabitat , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @zoe8stay , @seungly , @ppiri-bahng , @sleepyleeji , @l3visbby , @ohish , @comet-falls , @mrswolfiechan , @rachabreathing , @iadorethemskz , @minluvly , @dreamingsmile , @flirtyskzbutterfly , @tangylemonade , @gwynsapphire , @annispamz , @surefornext , @seungincore , @skz1-4-3 , @hanjingin , @hyunverse , @hwaberryjuice , @3rachasbby , @reignessance , @alicedawitchbish , @ameliesaysshoo ( refer to my navi to be tagged )

masterlist. song inspo. (paragraphs/sentences with * and italized are han’s memories.)

han sat alone at the back of the bus with his headphones on. the sceneries that passed by made him fall into his thoughts about what happened to the both of you. his elbow rested on the armseat with his lips placed at the back of his palm, eyes filled with sadness and love, but he didn’t have a choice back then. those happiness he felt wasn’t his in the first place. 

* it was the season of spring, the cherry blossom petals danced with the wind and some fell on your hair. you heard han laugh as he brushed them away one by one. 

“it’s cute,” he said and the way you giggled made his heart melt. “finish that up before it melts,” 

“okay,” you answered, linking your other arm with his while eating the chocolate ice cream he bought for you on the other hand. 

* it became a habit of his to annoy you as you study for your finals. the way he makes your long hair as a fake mustache or pokes your cheek out of nowhere borrows an extra pen from your pen case, and writes a funny note on your paper with his quokka doodles and if you choose to stop him, he’d place a kiss on your cheek which would distract you from it. 

“you can’t do that,” you said. 

“why not?” he asked, pouting his lips but then you gave them a peck. 

“because i’m studying, that’s why,” you answered, going back to reading your textbook, leaving him flustered and dumbfounded, making you smirk in secret. 

han arrived at the beach early in the morning. the cold wind brushed his hair as he walked slowly toward the shore, hands in his pockets while feeling the breeze and the gentle waves. he closed his eyes and yet another nostalgic memory flashed in his mind, remembering how his heart would go crazy every time you were with him. 

* in the same season of spring, the night he walked you home as you held each other’s hands, he hated the fact that this would end your moment for the day and had to see you tomorrow again. he would whine about it making you laugh and share a kiss to say good night. 

“i’ll see you in the morning,” he said as you gave him a nod. 

“get home safely,” you answered as he started to take his way, waving at you before turning his back after you entered the dorms. the smile he has on his face will last a while. you made him so happy. 

* there are times that han wouldn’t let you go home when you visit him and you didn’t have a choice but to do a sleepover. it’s either you both sit on the couch while watching your favorite movies and when you fall asleep on his shoulder as he caresses your hair, he plants a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering millions of “i love you”. 

or when you would lay down beside each other on his bed while you’re fast asleep, he’d stare at you with a lovesick smile on his face while caressing your cheek. he’d admire how beautiful you were and thought about how lucky he was to have you in his life. 

but both of you knew that this love wouldn’t last longer than expected. 

* misunderstandings came by, and immature and irrational reasons started to spoil the relationship, saying both of you are too young to commit and understand the deeper meaning of being in love. time is one of the reasons, as well as different tastes and opposite perspectives. fights started to be serious until the breakup happened. 

you two stood face-to-face in front of your doorstep as han tried to fix the broken pieces of the puzzle you were making but you decided not to pursue it. at first, he didn’t want it, but you were consistent to stop and so, he fell into despair. 

han sat down on the sand, remembering how you used to visit this beach during high school and play tag, he would often carry you to the water as you squealed in laughter, arms locked around your waist 一giving you a tight hug. laughs were shared, and the smiles you showed, it was all pure. but the pain you left, he’s the only one who bears it. 

* with those times that you and han played at the arcade, he remembers them all, the plushie he won for you from that damn claw machine cost him a lot, or those shooting games that he lets you win every time and you thought he sucked at it, then those kids getting annoyed about how you take too long playing tetris. 

* “i’m sorry,” you told him. 

there’s nothing to be sorry for, it was all done. 

han broke down in tears with the sun shining bright and the sky was clear, it was a good day to be heartbroken. he couldn’t do anything now, he had to let you go and let the waves wash his pain away even if it was hard to do it. 

and there, he left. 

feedbacks and reblogs are highly appreciated.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐4.

[toysrguts]

MORE jeff hc's!!!!!!

thank u for the love on the last one i love writing these sm ^___^

•can fit like 11 cigarettes in his wide ass mouth at once

•half asian (his mom is chinese)

•his hair is really thin because it never grew back properly after being burned

•hates being wrong more than anything else on the planet. sometimes he knows hes wrong but will NEVER admit it and fight to the death over it

•bpd representation 💯💯💯

•something in my brain tells me he cant die. kind of like a johnny the homicidal maniac situation. he never gets caught and he never dies (he can still get seriously injured but he will always come back when u least expect it)

•always has to be in control of the aux in every vehicle hes in and is so obnoxious when his favorite songs come on

•also yells "I SAW THIS LIVE" every time a band he saw live comes on

•barks at random unsuspecting people through the open passenger window

•always stealing shit off his victims after killing. he has a whole ring collection because of it, and of course he steals wallets for weed money

•also steals from slenderman but you didnt hear that from me

•"saying jeff is a douchebag is like saying the sky is blue." -toby

•kind of guy that takes out his bottled up emotions on everyone around him and then hates himself for it

•wears the same gross outfit all the time. just grabs one of the 3 pairs of crusty skinny jeans from off his floor and of course the musty ass dirty ass torn apart ass hoodie

•smile dog is truly his best friend. he feels like nobody understands him like smile does. he loves taking him for walks in the woods while smoking a cigarette and having deep conversations with him (not that he actually responds but jeff knows smile can understand what hes saying)

•horror movie enthusiast, from obscure fucked up ones to super cheesy ones. he has a whole shelf dedicated to his horror movie collection

•has an addictive personality, which is partially why he has a drug and alcohol abuse problem and struggles with self harm

•rarely goes out in public because hes known to have violent outbursts. he once committed mass murder at a burger king because people were looking at him weird and EJ had to drag him out of there before the cops showed up

•HATES the light he literally duct taped over his windows so the light couldn’t get in (he forgot blackout curtains exist)

•his room smells like pennies, skunk weed, and foot stank

•is actually an incredible artist but acts like hes not. literally everyone loves his work except for him

•secretly loves cartoons. he loves taking bong rips and watching scooby-doo to escape reality :)

•has never had a healthy relationship with anyone in his life, usually just sticks to hookups

•its a miracle this man is still alive considering he survives off gas station snacks and week old sodas that have been sitting on his nightstand

•speaking of he once drank an old dr pepper after he forgot he put out a cigarette in it

•got a tramp stamp when he was blackout wasted

•writes random thoughts and draws little doodles all over his bedroom walls; it kind of looks like a mental asylum in there

•also his bed is literally just a blood stained mattress on the floor with no sheet and a singular pillow and blanket

•so fucking broke he will do anything for a hundred bucks

•writes the most foul hate comments under every post he disagrees with

•he loves video games, his favorite being postal 2 (hes OBSESSED)