#one is justified to a degree
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Day off, can finally work on WiP's...would rather lay facedown and end my turn for a whole week.
#random stuff#rant incoming#i am trying to avoid a second cup of coffee#but it is desperately needed#no brain to do anything#and unfortunately#there are household chores to be done#because apparently over the past 4 days while i've been working#there has been a stalemate between hubby and kid over who's turn it is to do dishes#so guess who's going to do them?#or the laundry that i discovered got put in the dryer but the dryer not ran#TWO DAYS AGO#so now guess who has to rewash it?#now to wait for everyone to come home and ask 'why are you in a pissy mood?'#cue a special guest appearance by the devil#which will result in a week or two of shit actually getting done like it should#only for the cycle to start anew#out of the two other people in this house#one is justified to a degree#the other needs the occasional reminder that i am not his mother#and that he needs to pull his weight too
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Me, watching some YJS fans justify what Shauna did to Mari by using clips of Mari and Jackie giggling in s1 (normal teenage girl things), or Mari speaking the truth and trying to take Jackie's jacket (even though it was the middle of winter and the group were already sharing clothes), with said fans saying that they've would've done worse to Mari in response, acting like that makes them any better:
#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets#like this fandom continues to disappoint me#“she's traumatized” not an excuse especially since she specifically was targeting mari for the thrill and dehumanized her body after#something in which she hadn't done to the other kills mind you and then wore mari's hair as a trope#*trophy#that is beyond being traumatized and just shauna being horrific. it's okay to admit that#what isn't okay however is to dismiss valid criticism (largely from poc fans) about how dehumanizing it was that she did to mari#by saying “women can't commit wrongs” or “let women be wrong” when you know damn well that isn't the case#(or are you mad that you can't live out your violent fantasy thru shauna without being called out? hmm)#and all the reasons those fans use to justify it are just mari being 1.) a teenage girl 2.) being truthfully honest and 3.) worse sins have#been committed by the other characters like SHAUNA#when you bring up how shauna slept jeff and got pregnant by her best friend's boyfriend it's just “oh teenage girl things”#but when mari is also doing “teenage girl things” one which includes being shady and a bit mean suddenly that excuse no longer applies#largely bc fandom often times doesn't sympathize much with poc characters as they do their yte counterparts#especially if they're young#shauna shipman#mari ibarra#anti shauna shipman#if i ever said that shauna was one of my faves i take it back SO HARD#shauna's ass crying back in the adult tl like she's innocent....i need her to die#but watch the show give her a graceful send out bc it's the shauna show (even tho it's an ensemble cast)#it's kind of annoying to see these fans use lottie as a comparison saying that people care about mental illness as long as the person#doesn't react violently like shauna and while to a degree i can understand bc that is true#in this case it kind of falls flat when you take into consideration how in the show and fandom lottie and her mental state haven't been#treated with the same response or care that shauna has (lottie is beaten brutally while experiencing an episode by shauna)#and it's done dirty throughout the show until her death with only really simone speaking up angrily against how she's portrayed#(same people who are justifying shauna lashing out in anger regarding her trauma were the same ones who were hating on travis in s1 & s2)
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Personality development headcanons
#ragbros#I think diluc as a kid was one of those extroverted introverts with a heck ton of energy but none of it went to socializing#whereas kaeya was extremely closed off and reserved#who tried his hardest to make himself invisible or useful to someone to justify his existence#also kid kaeya can and will psychoanalyze every person he comes across#to a scarily accurate degree#meanwhile diluc is like social skills what’s that#(he was always off in his own world studying exploring#or causing havoc when he really wanted attention lol)#then as they get older diluc becomes more grounded in reality thanks to knightly and older sibling responsibilities#kaeya becomes less crushed by the weight of his reality and lets himself lighten up and enjoy the company of the people he loves#idk just some off the cuff thoughts#I am trying to capture their Vibes#I would love to read other people’s thoughts on this topic!!
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It’s hard for me to have sympathy for Abby and the fireflies bc I don’t believe her dad would’ve been able to make a cure. I’m no medical professional but from what I understand you can be a neurosurgeon or a virologist - not both. Vaccines and medicine also require a lot of other medical professionals involved to develop, including microbiologists, immunologists, etc and this is specifically a mycology issue as we saw in the first season. Without the qualified people involved, it’s hard for me to suspend my disbelief that Abby’s father would’ve done anything worthwhile after cutting Ellie’s brain open, which is already stupid to start with. You have one (1) source to finding a potential cure and your first move is to performing a fatal surgery? Why not take her blood first - a renewable source???? She only has one brain. Were they going to duplicate her brain to mass produce a cure? I know naughty dog said if Joel hadn’t done all that, then a cure would’ve been made but I don’t buy it 🤷🏻♀️
#the last of us#tlou#I don’t believe Joel was justified in becoming a mass shooter#but you can’t tell me the fireflies were in the right#they didn’t even want to give Ellie the chance to sacrifice herself#they chose it for her the same way Joel took it away from her#so many doctors in these fictional scenarios just have degrees in science#the show does a lot to make a cordyceps outbreak believable#but not enough to make me think one doctor can do it all
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yall talk ab dads dropping lore but mothers LOVE just dropping shit that changes ur life
#my mother just said she used to cry every time she hit me LOL which was a lot#i grew up thinking i deserved it#...#for clarity i never thought i deserved to get hit but i thought i deserved the apathy that cme after it bc it made me feel like#it was justified#to be FRANKKKKK i think that apathy was also mostly the reason i was convinced i was unloveable#to a certin degree#would appreciate it if no one commented on this excepting ki n taro ofc
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Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.
So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.
I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.
#everyone let’s remember rurus’ tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will#make it seem like it’s the most reasonable thing to do in that moment#now this is more me complaining about shit I’ve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but I’ve got beef#side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBad’s paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just ‘weren’t there to experienc#-the dark times’ or ‘weren’t there for the egg deaths/nightmares’ like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so#reasonable#he’s got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ‘cookie jar’ would need rethinking with security#but to say qBagi (or Jorge’s/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like#qBad’s reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until there’s nothing left to pick at#sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time it’s not#and on the flip side it’s like y’all bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree don’t be silly here okay. he does this because he care#even without a memory in his brain he calls them ‘little one’ and is gentle like. he cares#but at the same time this doesn’t always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. he’s Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with#he’s selfish he can and will jump to extremes he’s overly controlling. and he’s the worlds most unreliable narrator#I’ve been saying this I’ll keep saying this he’s an unreliable narrator! this doesn’t make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you#cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR#he’s talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character#you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will ‘I’m just a little guy and the world is out to get me’ his way outta#everything#there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses#idk I’m running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags#and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#q!bagi#z speaks
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aaaaaagh twice now I have put off buying the wall shelves I need for just long enough that they raise the price! should've just fucking ordered them earlier today when I was totaling everything up but I decided to sit on it for another day instead for??? reasons??? I genuinely don't know why. I keep doing this to myself :(
#sure would fucking love to get that disability compensation so I am not constantly doing funny math#and talking myself out of buying basic cheap shit we've needed for months#doesn't help that the keyboard cover I ordered is just like a fuckin quarter inch too small#so I gotta modify or return it#(since the keys are sloped if I put little feeties on it at the right angle it should be able to settle without pressing the edge keys)#(and it's only too small in one dimension not both)#I mean I guess I know why like on a large scale it's because I've been financially insecure my whole fucking life#but I don't know why today. I don't know how I justified putting it off.#(not literally my whole life just like. once people are old enough to benefit from any degree of financial independence.)#(like as a family we were just fuckin peachy! but also I was financially abused from whatever age at which that would be possible)#last time it happened I picked out an entirely different set of shelves at a more reasonable price#this time I think I just gotta say fuck it and buy it anyway :/
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I. Am I actually considering dealing with Ticketmaster.
#ha ha ha ticket prices can’t be nearly as bad as the mcr ones right#right? 🥲#this is one of the only shows where without a doubt in my mind i will go alone#bc i don’t have anyone to go with#i should not be spending this kind of moneu#but also i’m going to get a job in like a few weeks so.#doe is being slashed so bad i don’t even know if i will be able to go to school in the fall or complete my degree#so like. if tickets are $75-100 i can mentally justify it.#z rambles#sleep token#@ any moots who may be going to the portland show hello :^) hello do you hear me :^)#i know the only mutuals i have even remotely close are all in canada and would be going to tacoma if any but hello :^)#also wait we don't know when they go on sale yet right
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holding pokemon bw/bw2 in my arms shaking and crying im sorry i didn't know how to appreciate everything you did when i was younger i promise to cherish the risks you took the gameplay elements you brought the story you told now that i know better
#soda offers you a can#ugh. gen5 is peak in so many ways#perfect blend of 3d and 2d. new battle styles. brand new pokedex that forces you to try new things#(more or less) justified definitive editions that progressed The Plot because these guys dared to have it#like im a gen4 (and to lesser degree gen3) stan because my formative pokemon experiences happened there#but gen5 did so much right#i might wanna replay it at some point... i'll have to get a rom for that tho#because despite everything there are no multiple save files on one cart#even to this day. no switch profiles don't count as multiple save files for one game
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I love when shows have terrible to morally gray mothers who are kinda justified but still shitty or just not equipped to be moms
#180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us#Specifically#Sasiwimol was so dismissive of Wang's opinions and feelings#But on paper she was justified#She's one of my fav female characters in a BL period#They took the annoying assertive girlfriend who gets in the way of the ship trope and made generational trauma magic with it#never let me go#Palm's mom#Rip to a real queen#She knew what she able to handle and acted in consequence
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Me, one field school and capstone away from completing my bachelor's of studio art and minor in archaeology, after 8 years of part time college: hey what if I didn't actually want to be an artist and I immediately pivot from this into a bachelor's of zoology so I can go to grad school for paleozoology/paleobiology? Haha wouldn't that be wild. Right guys
#i am become insane#i did art originally because it was the one thing i was already good at and felt ironically like the most practical and achievable option#i thought i was too stupid for stem#and now that ive been doing my for-fun archaeology minor... im like. wow school is suddenly fun. what the hell#i dont hate art but it wasnt really fun. i got tired of being told exactly what to draw#and thats all an art career is tbh unless you get lucky and make bank freelancing#anyway. my dream since i was a kid was to be a zoologist or a paleontologist#i could do both. ive got a 3.5 gpa in my major and minors which is def good enough for grad school#i probably need a bachelors of science with a biology/geology background to have the best shot at a paleontology grad program#could be fun?#80% of all the media i consume is educational and animal/paleo related#anyway. this was just a big rant of me trying to justify getting a new degree immediately after i finish my first one#maybe i should just stay in academia forever tbh that sounds like a vibe
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✧
send me a ✧ and i’ll bold all that apply to your muse! (with italics as a 'sometimes' option because i'm a rule-breaker and things may depend on the situation).
i would kill you. ✧ i would physically hurt you. ✧ i would attack you unprovoked. ✧ i would manipulate you. ✧ i dislike you. ✧ you annoy me. ✧ you scare me. ✧ you intimidate me. ✧ i hope i intimidate you. ✧ i pity you. ✧ you disgust me. ✧ i hate you. ✧ i’m indifferent toward you. ✧ i’d like to get to know you better. ✧ i’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ i’d like to be friends with you. ✧ i’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ i’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ you are my friend. ✧ you are my best friend. ✧ you are my mentor. ✧ i look up to you. ✧ i respect you. ✧ you are my hero. ✧ you inspire me. ✧ you are my enemy. ✧ you make me happy. ✧ i want to protect you. ✧ i would fight by your side. ✧ i consider you an equal. ✧ i think you are beneath me. ✧ i think you are above me. ✧ i would lie for you. ✧ i would lie to you. ✧ i would sleep with you. ✧ i would sleep by your side. ✧ i would hug you. ✧ i would kiss you. ✧ you are family to me. ✧ i would die for you. ✧ i would kill for you. ✧ i would trust you with my life. ✧ i would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ i would trust you with a secret. ✧ i would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ i love you (platonically). ✧ i love you (romantically).
#sifonie#OOH BOYYY. the mixed nature of this is... JSJSJ i'm sorry about barton ramone he is justtt. Not the best person even around people-#he likes / cares about sometimes NGL and a lot of his relationships if not all of them are (unfortunately) unstable to at least a small-#degree. though of course i'm not trying to justify his behavior at all here... i just think that barton literally Cannot Help himself-#whenever it comes to manipulating people to the point where he may even do it unconsciously sometimes as terrible as that might sound 💀#and as for the whole 'you scare me' thing i think this just applies in the context of sibyl technically having the power to like. Kill him-#if they wanted to even if they wouldn't considering that they are like siblings to each other you know? and barton is naturally a-#distrustful person SO that also adds to him feeling a bit scared of them at times i think ahahhh.#but that's enough of talking about the negative stuff!! let's talk about how barton sees sibyl as an equal and would die for them...#because i honestly that serves as SUCH a dichotomy to the first thing's that i highlighted here and normally those thing's-#probably wouldn't coexist within the same person but if there is one thing that barton is - it's surprising in regards to how complex-#he can make his relationships with people JSJSJ LMAO but barton wanting to protect them is also? kind of sweet as well?? like OMG#plus the fact that they make him happy is 😭 it's really kind of touching in my humble opinion.#now if only barton didn't feel the need to LIE and still manipulate people sometimes even when he likes them...#then we'd be golden but i guess that would be asking for too much from him JSJSJ#not me talking as if he's real 😂 nooo but this was seriously really fun to fill out so thank you for sending this prompt to me ramone!!#and i hope i was able to shed a little more light on their relationship from barton's side of thing's bc i feel like it can be hard to tell#what barton truly thinks about someone even when i'm writing him in the 'stream of consciousness' style haha#also the italics is a 'maybe' in this case so it doesn't apply all the time!!
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i really want to sit down and make a proper Real lore doc for these goobers and not just the paragraphs of shtuff from whatever-ago, but like....... (buries myself underneath the dirt) lazy!!!!!!!
#i literally forgot to mention in dvorak's profile that they act like that because they believe they're the chosen one lmaoooo (stupid)#bro thought they were above morality and standards! cringe! out here like ''i will do literally everything in my power to learn at any cost#''chosen one'' like. ''oh yeah i am allowed to defy anything because i learn and i chart things on behalf of the atlas and i am Good At It'#they're *almost* -null- esque but like...#omg they would HATE -null- so much LMAOOO good thing they do NOT cross paths#i mean dvorak is still convergent and i dont think has that much exposure to the anomalies/travellers#at least not to the degree that the player character traveller does so idk!#also unlike -null- dvorak learns the power of friendship and is just like#perpetually in Atonement Mode now. they did some really fucked up stuff and then realized#uh. maybe that was not good! and not justified! even though you thought it was! bestie. your devotion was dangerous and harmful!#pre-redemption dvorak would have probably literally stripped teluya for parts and prodded at their corruption#post-redemption dvorak is extremely overprotective of teluya and more or less plays Doctor for them.#tbf teluya's corruption takes technological form but also is physically present inside of their chassis through potentially biomechanical-#-means so it's not like this is unwarranted (SORRY FOR THE GROSS TELUYA LORE THEY'RE WEIRD!!) but dvorak is So careful#they have to be lest they trip the sleeping corruption and just cause a complete overwrite of teluya's conscience inside of the chassis#science win! this anxious blue critter is a (figurative) ticking time bomb#anyway considering their shady awful past they're very knowledgeable on all sorts of things#including but not limited to korvax life cycles and by this i mean the return to the echoes#i feel like a part of their atonement would revolve around them facilitating the ease of returning for those at the end of their life#so some kind of korvax psychopomp of sorts. it's a good way to atone considering the... everything#ANYWAYYYY I COULD TALK FOREVER ABOUT THEM (them being dvorak but them being the trio)
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My sister told me she's heard that Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke was a "let's fetishize lesbians" situation and I really do not see it. Obviously I'm not a lesbian but I see fetishization as being like "look at this characteristic. now look at it sexually and ONLY sexually" which I didn't see in the book like... at all... Like the book is basically just a fucked up relationship between two women, but outside them being lesbians and existing as lesbians there's not much to indicate fetishization
#IDK maybe I'm too ignorant to see it but I can't think of anything#also I feel like it's one of those ''this has to be problematic for me to feel justified in not liking it!''#given the subject matter it's so obviously okay to not like it#sorry I'm still trying to think of something. but they were just... women in a relationship#that was sexual. which happens.#and that spiraled badly. which also happens but I hope not to the degree it does in the book
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I'm actually still pretty disappointed about the changes that were made to implicate a canon relationship between gortash and the dark urge. you are given so much choice in this game! so it feels shitty that they took away your choice to interpret that dynamic how you'd like.
I had a dark urge campaign that I started and no longer will finish because I don't want that to sully my character's romance with wyll. it angers me enough how wyll is given barely any material for not just his story, but also his romance. like it's so unfair that rather than new material added to wyll's romance, all I was going to get was lines about how my character had a relationship with a fucking fascist. load of shit that is.
#bg3#thoughts about media#I'm deeply upset about things to do with real life that are unrelated to this and that I do not want to talk about.#but justifiably complaining about media I care about? I have a degree in complaining about media. I can do that.#anyway. I had a really cool character planned and now I have to now reinvent him or make a new one.#likely the latter because he doesn't really make sense as a character at all if he's not a bhaalspawn.#and no I refuse to romance someone else. I want to finish wyll's story with the romance involved.#I only recently managed to finish astarion's because I finally got myself to focus enough to finish ONE campaign.#I really wish I had finished two by now. so I could have finished the dark urge and seen what the story was like without any changes.#also no I cannot ignore these changes. I think gort's a GREAT villain. but I don't want to fuck him. I don't get how people DO.#out of the chosen three he's easily the fucking worst and a kind of evil that can't really be understood as “fun” or “fantastical”#whereas ketheric and orin are largely fantastical in what they do and what they represent.#that people cheer over canon durgetash despite the atrocious way larian continues to treat wyll?#I loathe it.#I. have. a few ideas for a new character. I know I want him to have daddy issues because that's what urged me to romance wyll with durge.#boyfriends with daddy issues is not only interesting. but hot. so I want to keep that element.#idk if I'll keep the paladin I made though. or go an entirely different direction.#because in the process of trying to reinterpret my bhaalspawn into a tav...I had a rather clever idea that I'm liking more and more.
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I'm going to start fan wank.
I am holding a book open in front of me as I type. Said book describes the protagonist's appearance as "generic human," within about the first 20 or so pages.
You know what "generic" means, when referring to a human? At the minimum, brown hair, and brown eyes (and probably reasonably dark skin too tbh while I'm slinging mud at tv studios.). What it does *not* mean is "some fucking reedy guy with red hair."
So why the fuck, when adapting this book to a visual medium, did the casting directors *not* cast someone with brown fucking hair? Or make the actor dye it?
Also the armor design looks stupid as fuck and I don't think the glass on the helmet would be structurally sound. And who needs peripheral vision in fucking combat anyway? Surely having one side of your head protection be visor halfway to the fucking occipital bone, and the other cover everything lateral to your cheekbone is SUPER conductive to the purpose of a helmet.
Dumbasses.
#I'm not *entirely* talking shit because I'm an angry biologist#and I'm not *entirely* talking shit because the guy they cast looks a little like my good-for-nothing [family relation redacted]#But both of those things are a factor#Like after thinking about it for a bit I myself didn't pick a perfect mental image re the book's description#(I went too handsome and statistically speaking too white I think)#but at least I understood the fucking assignment to like a minimum degree#also I think I'm justified in my choice because of how similar the armor on the cover of the books looks to that of another work#fan wank#ignore Morg#Morg rants#If you think you know what fandom I'm wanking about you probably do#If we do want to talk about roles suited for red haired actors please do bring up Thor with me#because most adaptations making him blond is also a minor gripe of mine#but also Hair Dye Fucking Exists You Useless Fucking Showrunners#your lack of use of it suggests to me that you either didn't actually read the book or you failed high school biology AND statistics#if you like the actor good for fucking you#I meanwhile am going to lament the choice I have to make between rushing to finish the series#& not being able to find fanart based on the description in the actual *books*#Because I *am* actually trying to keep myself from burning through all of the books in one day and then not having any more books
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