#one is caught up in the mental aspect of sex and the other in the gut aspect. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whatswrongwithblue · 26 days ago

Note

Reader does actually try to walk off a cliff and Alastor catches them and gets furious and sexy about it and pounds Vexi... I mean reader into the mattress so hard she can't walk anymore and he ends up laughing saying 'let's see you try to do that again now your legs won't work'

Beta'd by @inuhalfdemon

For my darling @redvexillum, I know you're Overtime Vexi right now; working hard on the Discord server, keeping up with daily Kinktober posts, and also literally working an IRL job. This is a no pressure gift to you. Read when you have time and need a little pick me up. I even based Reader off of your avatar on your blog and used language specifically from my favorite fic of yours . . . you know the one *wink wink*.

TRIGGER WARNINGS!: suicide ideation, suicide attempt, depression, mental illness, dissociation, possesive Alastor, Alastor owns Reader's soul, sex as punishment, angry sex, oral (fem receiving), p/v sex, shadow tendrils/tentacles, bondage, use of a gag, overstimulation, lack of aftercare, begging, dom/sub dynamic.

Falling

The warm night breeze ghosted through your hair; a gentle lover’s caress across the back of your neck. It calmed your nerves as you looked down at the drop below and you closed your eyes, thinking you could almost hear the wind telling you to take that final step.

Just one little step.

A few seconds of falling.

Then darkness. Nothing. Peace.

The wind kicked up a little harder, fanning out your wings, and nearly making you lose your balance. You gasped and flailed your arms, catching your balance before you fell.

A stupid lingering human instinct to save yourself. Your body’s nervous system fighting against what your mind desperately wanted.

You took a deep, steadying breath in, and tucked your wings in. They were tiny; pink and membranous things that seemed more for aesthetic than any kind of purpose. It’s not like you could fly with them. They were no more useful than your asymmetrical horns when it came to that skill only very few Sinners were lucky enough to have. And they weren’t even very demonic looking, as far as demon appendages went. Both your horns and your wings were pink, slightly darker shades than the pastel of your skin and hair. Even your fucking irises were pink.

While you quite loved pink as a human, it just felt insulting down in Hell. Like every other aspect of your demon visage. Useless. Infantile. Boring.

Nearly making you fall to your death by being caught in a sudden gust of hot air was the only favor your wings had ever done for you.

Not that you would permanently die, you lamented. Eventually you would re-spawn somewhere within the city. But re-spawning took hours, sometimes even days. And in that time would be nothing. When you were alive you always joked about wishing that you could just take your brain out of your skull, like a temporary death, just to quiet the awful thoughts and feelings your malfunctioning organ plagued you with day and night.

Here in Hell, you could actually do that. Again and again, if you so chose to.

All you had to do was jump.

Maybe it wasn’t worth it. When you came back, Alastor would certainly hunt you down and find you. And you could just see the disappointment in his face. Hear the disgust in his voice. How lowly he would think of his darling then, that she would perform such an empty and pathetic act.

But then again, he was going to find out who you were at your core eventually. Better to rip the bandage off and make him face just how truly damaged you were before you continued to waste his time further. He was bound to get tired of pulling you out of your depressed funks after enough time had gone by. And what good did you bring to his life anyway?

You were a distraction.

He had snapped that to you earlier that evening when you had interrupted his work at the hotel. Those last stinging words echoed through your mind, branding themselves into your grey matter so that you never forgot them.

Well, you wouldn’t be distracting him anymore after this stunt. He wouldn’t bother with you afterwards.

And if you found you really did enjoy the nothingness that came between death and re-spawning, the extermination wasn’t far away. All you had to do was stand in front of an exorcist and simply not move as they brought their blade down on you. Then it would truly be an eternity of peace and quiet for you.

No more distractions.

The thought came to you bitterly as you considered that Alastor was the one who had been distracting you. All these months of his attention, of him making you his darling, of him making you fall in love with him, had just distracted you for a while. But now the pain was back, worse than ever, with one small argument between you two and you realized if it wasn’t for him, you likely would have jumped off this roof months ago.

You could have let it all go during the last extermination, while everyone else was huddled safely inside the hotel.

What a waste of time. A useless, boring, distracting life.

A deep breath. A single tear sliding down your cheek. A last thought of warmth and safety whispering through your mind . . .

“Alastor.”

His name left your lips like a prayer and an apology.

You took a step over the ledge.

The street below became your entire field of view as you lost your footing entirely.

And then the world glitched.

Colors blended in choppy formation and static screamed in your ears, threatening to burst your ears drums. Everything was fuzzy and going dark and a strange tingling filled your body, like your very blood had turned to static.

And then you were back on your own two feet, standing face to chest with the red and black pinstriped suit you knew so well.

Unnaturally large claws had you by the shoulders and you tilted your head up, taking in the full view of a very angry Radio Demon.

Alastor towered over you, his antlers spread wide, his eyes turning like radio dials, and he lifted you up like you weighed nothing until you were face to face and your feet were dangling several feet in the air.

“What the fuck was that?” he snarled, his voice even more full of static than you were used to.

Your eyes went wide at the use of vulgarity from him. You could count with your two useless wings how many times you had heard him swear before and never had it been directed at you.

When you didn’t answer right away, he shook you, calling you by your real name rather than darling, which he never did. He demanded an answer but all you could manage was a little whimper before you broke.

Your chin quivered and you felt the swell of tears in your eyes as a sob squeezed your chest and erupted out.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out and then slowly, ever so gently, you felt yourself being lowered to the ground and then your face was pressed against the soft fabric of Alastor’s suit. His bow tie tickled the side of your face and his scent, heady with Spanish moss and cypress, and some other uniquely Earthy smell that was entirely him, filled your senses.

“Darling,” he said quietly, “my darling . . . why?”

You could barely breath through your sobs, let alone speak, so it took you a moment to gather the strength to answer. Clutching at the back of his jacket, you pressed your face into him harder, trying to hide your reasoning, bury your shame, pretend like every pathetic part of you didn’t exist.

But he had seen, hadn’t he? He had watched you take that step, had come up here to find you and seen that final microsecond when there was nothing but air between you and the ground below.

And he had altered reality to bring you back to him. To save you.

Half of you hoped that meant he really did love you like you loved him. Like he promised every day that he did, even though you never quite believed it.

The other half of you whispered an insipid little lie that was too tempting to not consider . . . that this whole stunt of yours was just another distraction.

“I don’t want to be a bother anymore,” you finally whispered, hiccupping and choking as you struggled to speak.

Alastor went stiff around you, and you thought then that he would finally push you away. Agree that you really were just a bother. That if he were to ever shackle himself to another soul, it certainly wouldn’t be to such a weak little wretch as yourself.

Instead, his long, clawed fingers grasped you by your chin, forcing you to look up at him. And though his expression was often hard to read, the strain in his smile showed anger while the burning in his ruby eyes showed pain.

“What gave you the idea that you could do such a thing? That I would allow it?”

“Wha . . . what?”

“You’re mine now, darling.” He pulled on your chin, forcing you on tip toe as he brought your face closer to him. “You belong to me and I don’t let what belongs to me just fly away. It seems you have forgotten that.”

His claws were digging into your cheeks and along your jaw line, stinging and threatening, even as he brought his lips down and gave you the gentlest kiss on the forehead.

“Perhaps I need to remind you of that,” he whispered to you, his voice low and tender, crackling with a passion you couldn’t misplace. He was angry, you realized, oh yes he was furious with you. But as the world went fuzzy once again, and you felt the familiar sensation of melting into shadow, and your soul blended with his, you could literally feel that burning rage inside of him being twisted and morphed into more direct emotions. Lust and desire filled what was left of your identity as Alastor transported you through the ceiling and walls of the hotel and into your room.

Now this was flying.

Alastor had sat you at the foot of your bed, making quick work of removing your underwear, lifting your pleated skirt above your hips, and kneeling before you, all before you had come down from the bizarre and disorienting high of being nothing but shadow with him.

Now you were reduced to a shell of a person, thoughtless and detached from your feelings and in the best of ways, as Alastor’s tongue made your nervous system aware of nothing else but the bundle of nerves between your legs.

Your knees were resting on his shoulders and already shaking as his tongue twisted and lapped at your clit, occasionally giving the swollen pearl a hard suck, as two fingers pumped into your core, working to pull a second climax from you.

Distantly you were aware of the flutter of your wings; a helpless reflex, along with the tremble of your legs. Tears streamed down your cheeks, though you paid that no mind either. Even if you had noticed them, you wouldn’t be able to place which emotion was drawing them from your eyes.

You only knew that this feeling; the intense physical sensation of Alastor turning you into a whimpering, wanton mess, allowed you to dissociate in the best of ways and everything that had tormented you to the point of standing on that cliff’s edge was completely forgotten.

The fingers of one of your hands wrapped themselves in a white-knuckled grip around his antler while your other hand found purchase in his red locks and you sobbed out his name as you came again.

Just as your walls began to clench, Alastor pulled himself from your clutches, leaving your cunt to clench needfully onto nothing. The abrupt lack of touch right at the beginning of your orgasm was torture and in his absence you pressed your legs together, searching for any friction that would allow for a fraction of the satisfaction his tongue and fingers should be giving you.

“Now, now, dear,” Alastor tutted, and you felt your legs forced back apart. “Remember, I’m here to make a point. And that point is . . .” You looked down to see tendrils of shadows spreading your legs farther open, tangling themselves around your thighs and hips. “. . . You’re mine.” He began undoing the top of his trousers. “And any rash decisions,” he pushed his trousers down below his waist, “like trying to jump off buildings,” he pulled his cock free and you salivated at the sight of its red and swollen tip already weeping pre-cum for you, “or pleasuring yourself without permission,” he leaned over you, his tense and wicked smile inches away from your lips as his took a painful fistful of your hair, “will be met with severe punishments.”

You swallowed, daring to meet his eyes with your own submissive, watery ones, and nodded.

“There’s my darling I know and cherish,” he said sweetly. His fingers left your hair and traced along your jaw until they came to your lips.

“And now that we’re at an understanding,” he snapped his fingers and your clothes vanished, “let’s see how well you can take your punishment.”

His cock thrust into you as black tendrils slithered their way up the rest of your nude body, pinning you in place. They teased and stroked every erogenous zone with lovely tenderness, their touch soothing and affectionate even as they forced you to near absolute stillness. In stark contrast, Alastor pounded into you, stretching you to the point of burning and igniting the still burning embers of your last orgasm that Alastor had left unfinished.

You came within seconds, your walls spasming hard against the fat width of his cock. Alastor drove on as if he hadn’t noticed, deep enough to hit the blind end of your depths with every forward thrust. The bruising combination left a dull cramp in your belly as your climax went on for several more moments, an intense combination of pleasure and pressure.

After the quaking within your core subsided, you went limp within the clutches of the shadows. Three orgasms as intense as the ones you had just experienced were more than enough to placate your mind and body and your teary eyes now began to droop with sleepiness.

And yet Alastor was clearly not finished with you.

“Alastor,” you pleaded, knowing he still hadn’t come but you intended to beg for him to be a little gentler with you until he had. Instead of letting you speak, however; a tendril that had been near your throat laced itself through your open mouth and synched itself around your head, effectively gagging you.

The only response you got from your lover was an angry red glow of his eyes as they narrowed onto you, before he gripped your thighs with his claws and continued on with his brutal pace.

Too much, too much, too much, you internally screamed, a fresh torrent of hot tears burning down your cheeks. Your teeth sunk into the meat of the tentacle between your lips and you strained against the ones holding your wrists down to the bed.

The brutal pace of your punishment went on for several more minutes; an eternity for your overstimulated sex. Everything between your ribs and your thighs burned and ached from the ceaseless, intrusive rhythm of Alastor’s body against yours. Inside and out, he continued to savagely ravish you, until there was nothing else for you to do but begin to silently cry and take the punishment he was dolling out.

Alastor pulled out of you with a suddenness that both relieved and confused you. Your throbbing cunt ached from what it had just been through but as your eyes met his, you felt an emptiness within you. Still wrapped in tentacles, you glanced down at his glistening cock before you looked back up at the sharp tooth smile on the face of the man that you feared and loved above all else.

He still looked as pissed off as ever but there was a softness at the corner of his eyes that hinted at concern and you knew him well enough to know he was worried he might have taken things to far.

As you felt the shadow tentacles begin to loosen around you, you felt a emotion so long-forgotten you almost didn’t recognize it.

Confidence.

And with that thought, you wordlessly turned yourself around until your lay on your belly, exposing your backside and the tiny pink wings you knew Alastor loved to play with whenever he was angry.

A moment came and went and you were just beginning to wonder if you had misread the owner of your soul. You opened your mouth to speak his name once more but before you could utter a syllable, you felt your arms yanked back by the wrists and a powerful tendril wrap around your throat, holding you face down into the mattress.

The shadows that were still around your hips tightened and forcefully lifted your ass into the air and you braced yourself a second before Alastor’s cock slammed back into you, filling you back up to completion and eviscerating that feeling of emptiness.

Tired and spent as you were, you moaned aloud and squeezed his member with every last bit of strength you had within your spongey walls.

You felt the long, slow drag of his retreating cock sliding against every sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you before another snap of Alastor’s hips had it rocketing back into you.

“Say it,” he commanded and you shuddered with your whole body, knowing what he wanted to hear.

“I’m your darling,” you replied, breathless and yet moaning again as he rewarded you with another thrust.

“And?”

“I belong to you.” He matched this thrust with a gentle stroke of a shadow across the membrane of one of your wings. “Mmmmmm, more,” you begged, as your wings gave a tiny, involuntary flap at the feather light touch.

But he had stilled behind you, waiting for your needfulness to build until you were begging.

“Please,” you sobbed out, feeling your chin quiver as all the emotions of the night came rushing back to you. “I’m sorry, Al’. I’m so sorry.”

As you spoke, the touching of your wings and the powerful movement of his cock began anew. You blabbered on, afraid if you stopped talking, the pleasant sensation of his touch within you and above you would end.

“I love you. I’ll never leave you. I’ll never even think about leaving you ever again. Not in anyway. Not even when your angry with me. Not even when I hate myself. Because I’m yours and I’ll always be yours. I’m so sorry, Alastor. Please don’t stop. Please, you feel so good. Fill me up, love. Because I’m your darling and I’ll be good from now on, please just fill me up. I’m your good girl and I love you and I want to feel you inside me. Please, please, oh God Al’, you feel so good, I’m – I’m – I-”

With a painful pull on your wrists you felt all the way into your shoulders, you felt him spill his seed within you as his body tense and every shadow of his went impossibly taut around you. The heat of his cum burned your walls and spilled down your inner thighs, coating you and marking you as his, and you came along with him, screaming into the sheets. Every tendril bruised into your skin, leaving marks around your throat, breasts, wings, hips, and thighs, as Alastor lost all control, even as he continued to pound into you with an uneven and desperate pace.

Everything blurred as you came down from the high together. You felt your muscles turn to jelly and give out in the final moments of your climax, just in time to feel Alastor finally still and begin to soften before he pulled out.

After several serene moments had gone by, the sheets beneath you began to move and pull away. As if in a dream, you felt your body being moved up the bed and then Alastor’s weight joined next to you as you were tucked into bed. Without being cleaned and without a word of praise or love, which he usually included in an aftercare routine for you.

But you knew, deep within the fog of your exhausted mind, that you deserved this. You would wake up in the morning marked by the bruises and the sticky mess between your legs, and only then would you be allowed to shower and heal yourself.

“Thank you,” you murmured with closed eyes as he finished tucking you in. “I don’t think I can move after that, let alone walk.”

An amused, deep chuckle came from Alastor before he pinched your cheek hard enough to make your eyes snap back open.

He got up from the bed, now fully dressed, and straightened his bow tie and monocle before marching towards the door with a pleased and arrogant look on his face.

“Good, my darling. That’s good. Let’s see you try to pull that nonsense again now that your legs don’t work. Sweet dreams,” he added as he opened the bedroom door and gave you one last warning smile before he slammed the door behind him, hard enough to knock a few decorations off the walls.

You sighed as you heard a lock clicking into place, knowing his point was made, and that he was still very much angry with you. But the storm had passed, for both of you. You relaxed into the soft pillow and closed your eyes, the first smile in days touching your lips as you drifted off to sleep.

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ctrlsht · 1 year ago

Text

Fragment of the Past 03

pairing: patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader genre: thriller & yandere au

summary: You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

chapter summary: You thought that you could finally escape from Jungkook but little did you know that he has something more to hold against you. You endure everything that he did to you but he was too much until you can no longer take him anymore.

chapter warnings: hazing, fraternity, blackmailing, manipulation, smut, non con/dub con, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), mc was traumatized, stalking, murder, major character death word count: 11.3K

parts: (1) | (2) | (3)

note: This fiction will contain multiple mental disorders and psychology facts. I conducted my own research to avoid spreading misinformation, but there may be aspects I've overlooked, so I am open for any corrections.

"Why are you here? Aren't you aware of the restraining order?" You threw your pen on the table and stood up from your seat, while a sinister smile curled his lips. He continued to take a step towards you and you immediately pushed the buttons that connected to the reception desk. He only laughed before he spoke.

“It’s 9 in the evening, Y/N. No one’s here except for the both of us.” His words send shivers down your spine.

He was right, Soyeon and your other colleagues went home 3 hours ago and you’re the only one left inside.

You love to overwork but right now, you wish that you just continue working at home.

He’s going to kill you before the night ends. You’re sure of it.

You reach your phone with a shaking hand as you scroll to your contact list and click Detective Jung’s number.

“Who are you going to call? Detective Jung?” His words were like whispers from the depths of darkness.

Detective Jung isn’t answering your calls.

“You’d be arrested once you come near me.” You tried to threaten him, but it only sounded like a joke to him.

He took a seat in his usual position as he intertwined both of his hands.

“I commend you for your cleverness when you ask for a restraining order against me,” He crosses his legs and touches his lips. “Unfortunately for you, it won’t stop me from attending our sessions."

“It’s my first time attending an evening session, is it also your first time, Dr. Y/N?” He said with a malevolent grin stretched across his lips.

“I swear, before the sun rises tomorrow, you’d be arrested.” You spoke, clenching your jaw.

“With how fast you climb to the top, I thought you were smart, Y/N. But I was wrong.” He pokes the inside of his cheek as he smirks. “You should know by now the reason why I’m not in jail for killing my mother.”

You weren’t able to respond, like a cat caught your mouth.

“I thought that you’ll do great in kicking me out of your life so I came prepared. I even thought that you’d approach a different detective for this one, and fortunately, you still decide to approach Detective Jung.” He pauses to let out his laughs. “Don’t you know that he was the reason why I’m still free? He’s my best friend, Y/N!” A sinister laugh erupted from his throat as your body started to shake.

“I even came up with a plan with my lawyer if ever I was arrested but damn Y/N, I somehow wish that you give me a thrill. You made my life easier than I expected.”

As he said those words, your legs turned to jelly, and a tightness gripped your chest.

You’ve underestimated him and his power and now, your life's on the line.

“Go ahead and ruin my reputation. Upload those recordings online, I don’t care anymore. I can’t stomach you anymore, Jungkook.” You spoke in a serious tone, before fixing your things.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked, a smile evident in his voice.

“If you think you need to use those recordings to destroy me, feel free to do so. I won't participate in this any longer. I refuse to be a part of your games, Jungkook.”

“Oh, Y/N.” He sighs before he continues. “If you think that this is all about you, you’re wrong.” He stood up and took out his phone from his pocket. You’re about to go but he thrust his phone in your chest. “Watch it because you’d love to see what kind of a person your best friend really is.” He smirks and you look at his phone. It was a video and you were scared to play it. The thumbnail is Taehyung standing in front of a man with their eyes blindfolded. Taehyung looks so young in here and you aren’t sure what’s happening. One way to find out.

You wish you didn’t take his phone. You wish that you just proceed on walking out of your clinic, leaving him inside because when you play the video, you immediately hear a painful scream coming from a man. It wasn’t Taehyung who’s screaming, instead, a man was kneeling and bleeding while his eyes were blindfolded, and Taehyung was hitting him with a baseball bat.

Holy shit.

Taehyung looks so young in the video. His hair was blonde, it’s his hair when he was 17 or 18, as you remember. You can’t believe what you saw. The man that he’s hitting is begging for him to stop but he doesn't. Instead, he hit him harder.

Your hands were trembling, almost dropping the phone as you stopped the video from playing.

What was that?

“Why do you look so scared, Y/N? It’s your best friend.” Jungkook slowly took the phone from your hand.

Your body trembled uncontrollably, fear had taken hold of your very core. You looked at him, shaking your head.

“That’s not Taehyung.” You said.

“Oh Y/N, I wish you’re right, but it was him.” He chuckled. He takes a few steps back and places his right hand on his pocket as he scrolls to find something on his phone.

When he finds it, he shows his phone once again. You were confused because it’s a group of male people and when he noticed your confusion, he zoomed the screen and you saw Taehyung in the photo.

“He’s part of underground society way back before he was an artist and that's when I knew him, Y/N. He was one of the people who performed the initiation rites for the new members, and that video you just saw? It’s what he does for the society he’s in.”

You can’t believe it, you refuse to believe it. Taehyung won’t do that. He won’t harm—

“Why do you look so shocked?” He asked with a grin on his face, mocking you. “You should know that, as his best friend.”

“That’s not him.” You said, trying more to convince yourself. “Taehyung can’t do that. He won't take part in that kind of behavior.”

“Then you don’t really know your friend.” He placed his phone back in his pocket. “Stop being too naive, Y/N. Everyone has their own secrets to keep.”

“Do you really think that I would believe you? Whatever shit you’re trying to pull, you won’t make me believe you.” You said in your sharp tone.

“But the people will.” He took a step towards you with a smirk on his lips.

“You may refuse to believe it but the people will. They will believe so easily in whatever’s happening in that video.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat resonating with the intensity of the madness you feel. You never felt this kind of anger before. It’s too much that you wanted to kill him.

“What do you want?! What do you really want!” Your rage erupted like a blazing fire, smacking his chest aggressively. You keep on smacking and pushing him, while he doesn't even show any hint of pain. “Why are you doing this to me!” you shouted, tears welling up in your eyes and when you got tired, your hits became slower until you decided to stop.

Jungkook held your wrist and looked at your eyes with intensity. You cannot resist him anymore because you’re too tired.

“What do I want?” He repeated the question while staring at your eyes. “It’s simpler than you think.” His words were soft as a smile formed on his mouth. “I want you, Y/N.”

You sob before you release your wrist from his grip. “I can’t have another session with you. You’re not cooperating.” You respond, letting out a weary sigh.

“That’s not what I mean.” He shook his head, slowly scanning your face down to your body. “I want you without your clothes, laying down while I am on top of you.”

You immediately shook your head. “No fucking way. I won’t let you do that.”

“Then you agreed to let me upload your illegal voice recordings with your patients along with the video of your best friend, beating the hell out of an innocent man. I bet the people will love to see what their idol really is, right?”

You’re already bursting out of tears, shaking your head. “Please don’t involve him anymore.”

“It’s your own fault, Y/N. The only thing that I want is a session with you until I recover, yet you pushed my limits. Now, you have to face the consequences of your actions.” He takes a step towards you, leaning forward to see your face full of tears and wipe them using the both of his finger thumb. You hit his arms and took a step backwards.

“You’re sick.” You turn around to gather your things and when you’re about to leave, he speaks.

“I’m telling you, you don’t want to test me because you wouldn’t like the ending.”

—

That same night, you didn't go home; instead, you went straight to Taehyung's place. He wasn't there because he had a shoot, but you waited. You couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't bring yourself to believe what you had seen unless it came directly from him. You've known Taehyung since birth, and you were certain that the videos and photos you had just seen couldn't be him because you knew he wouldn't do such things.

Yet you don’t understand why you felt betrayed even though you haven’t talked to him.

When he arrived, that’s the first thing you ask him and it’s too obvious that he didn’t anticipate it. As the longer he can’t respond, the ache you feel worsens.

“Answer me, Kim Taehyung. Are you a member of an underground society?” You repeat the question, emphasizing every word.

“Where did—

“Just answer me!”

Taehyung was taken aback with your screams and a fear is evident in his face. He stood there frozen, unable to move or look away. He sighs before he speaks.

“Yes.”

Your body hunched, eyes closed as a tear streamed down your face. You lowered your body, squatted and your shoulders shook with each shuddering sobs.

“Y/N, w-why?” Taehyung immediately went to you but when his hand landed on your shoulder, you stood up, immediately pushing him away.

“You beat people, Taehyung! You beat them to death, you monster!”

“Y/N, please let me explain—

“Explain what?! How the fuck you beat them until they die?!”

“It’s not my choice! They were threatening to kill me if I didn’t do what they wanted!”

You glared at him, choosing not to respond.

“I thought it was a normal organization when I joined but I was tricked! I tried to leave but they didn’t let me and they even threatened to kill me if I reported them to the police! I was just 17 years old at that time, Y/N! I didn’t know what to do!”

He was trembling as a tear formed in his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was scared that they would involve you. It’s a trap.”

“So you were still involved with them?” Your voice raised and he immediately shook his head.

“No! I managed to get away when we were caught doing the initiation rite, but I managed to run away without being caught. I wasn’t the one performing the initiation rite during that time so it was easy for me to run away.” He explained.

You only stare at him, imagining the 17-year-old Taehyung standing in front of you. During that time, you don't remember anything that may hint he was in danger. The only Taehyung you saw was the jolly and energetic Taehyung, not knowing that he was facing a dangerous situation.

Little did you know that 12 years from now, you’d also face the same situation like he does.

You took a step towards him and wrapped your arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably. You can’t imagine he faced that problem all by himself at that age. You were supposed to be with him as he faced his battles, but he was all alone.

“Why didn’t you tell me even after you managed to run away?” You spoke, choked sobs wracked your body as he stroked your back gently.

“It’s okay, it’s all in the past.”

You were in that position for a few moments until you calmed down. You break away from him and wipe your own tears.

“How did you find out?” with that, you’re back from reality, the reason why you are here.

“I saw a video of you beating a man. That’s how I found out.” His mouth hung open as his breath came in short.

“Where did you watch it?”

"An anonymous sender sent me the video. I couldn't bring myself to save the video because I can't bear to watch it again, so I deleted it," You reason out. You can’t tell him the truth because it will only complicate things more. “But I already reported it to the authorities and a security specialist and they guarantee that the person responsible for it will be caught.”

You felt bad for lying but you can’t tell him the truth. It wasn’t a good idea to confront him about this manner in the first place but you were not in your right mind when you decided to go here. You were caught off-guards.

You just need to make sure that no one will see that video again. How? That’s also something you don’t know yet.

—

Jungkook hasn’t bothered you lately, and it only worsens your anxiety. You know him and he won’t simply stop. You don’t know what’s his next move but soon, he’ll come after you.

You always check what’s trending on social media, watching out for any news that can relate to you and Taehyung, but you’ve always found nothing. You even checked on Jungkook’s latest activities on their media pages and there’s nothing suspicious, yet you can still feel the lash that Jungkook tied on your neck.

You’re on your way for a book interview because your newest book entitled ‘The Paradox of Choice’ is about the launch. You’re nervous and you’re overthinking everything without a specific reason why.

The feeling you felt right now is different from your previous book launching because right now, you don’t feel good.

Maybe because you've been stressing lately with what’s happening right now or maybe because something is going to happen.

You wish it wasn’t the latter.

“Three more minutes!” The crew announced.

This book launch is coming along with an interview at an evening talk show. You’ve experienced guesting in several talk shows yet, you felt so anxious that your trembling worsened as the minute passed by.

“Hey, are you okay?” Your assistant held your hand as you stood up. You looked at her and gave her a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yes, I am okay.”

As you get closer towards the stage, your heartbeat increases. You pause for a while and take a deep breath, while closing your eyes.

You can do this.

“Good evening, Dr. Y/N! How are you doing?” Park Jimin—the host asked you with a wide smile on his face.

“I’m great, how are you?” you try to connect the level of your energy to his.

“I’m great as well! Are you ready? I know you won’t get too nervous since you have been a guest in several talk shows and interviews, right?” Oh, how you wish that’s your case.

“Of course! I look forward to this!”

You had a few talks with Jimin, explaining how the show will flow and you also reviewed the possible questions that he’s going to ask you. You were starting to get comfortable being on the stage. The rolling is about to start when your eyes land on a familiar figure wearing a black hoodie along with a headphone on his head. Your eyes widened in a complete terror, as your pulse raced with each thudding heartbeat.

Jeon Jungkook is here, staring at you with a demonic smile on his face.

“Rolling! We’ll begin in 3… 2… 1.” He was looking at you while he spoke on his headphones. Your surroundings turned into a blur as you felt that every movement was in slow motion. You notice that Park Jimin is already talking with so much energy and you try to wake yourself up.

“What inspires you to write this book? Was there a particular experience or realization that led to its creation?”

You grip your hand to stop its trembling before you answer. “People tend to choose their biggest life decisions when they are in an emotional state, and this book will teach everyone to always think twice or even thrice whenever they make big decisions for themselves. I, myself once experience choosing a decision that I wish I did not choose, and it lend me to regrets, which I don’t want people to experience that’s why I wrote ‘The Paradox of Choice.’”

You try not to look at Jungkook after you respond but your own eyes are betraying you. There’s a sly smile on his lips as his eyes bore into you.

You fucking hate it when his eyes are on you.

“How did you research and gather information for your book? Can you describe your process?” You froze on your seat when Jimin asked you that question. Your hands tremble even more, gripping it tightly to stop. You glance at Jungkook who’s standing meters away from you, playing his lips with his fingers.

You don’t want to answer this because your method of gathering information for your book is what he obviously uses against you.

‘I record the sessions with my patients and analyze it to add an input to the book.’

It was the answer that you cannot say while he’s watching.

Instead, “I did my own research with the help of my patient’s own experiences.”

Even in your peripheral view, you could still feel his eyes digging into your soul.

Once the shoot is done, you immediately storm out of the stage and lock yourself inside the comfort room for god knows how long.

You stood before the sink, hands outstretched beneath the gentle stream of cool water pouring from the faucet as it ran down to your hands.

You slowly rub both of your hands but the trembling of it isn’t stopping. You rub it even further to steady your hands, until you suddenly outburst silently. You can’t scream or cry, and the only thing you can do is endure the anger you feel right now.

The soft hum of fluorescent lights filled the space with white glow, opposite of what you feel right now. Your hands are still trembling as you look at your face in the mirror.

You look so horrible.

When you’re stressed out because of your workloads, you can still appreciate the beauty you have, but right now, you really look so miserable.

Jungkook is doing his excellent job in fucking you up.

This is driving you insane. He’s driving you insane. You’re fed up with all of his shit and it’s too much already. You don’t even know what you did wrong for him to do this to you. The only thing you did is help him cope up with his trauma–or more like fake traumas.

So you don’t know where you went wrong with him.

Your assistant called your name on the other side of the door, asking if you’re fine which you’re not. You did your best to calm down before you decided to come out.

It’s almost midnight when you’ve finished packing your things and ready to leave. Everyone’s out already and you don’t know who was left. You’re supposed to go home an hour ago but you choose to rest for a while before you go.

The basement parking lot was nearly empty when you arrived; not even the guards were visible. But, as you approached your car, you noticed a tall, muscular man standing beside it, wearing a black hoodie, with both of his hands inside his pockets, clearly waiting for you.

He looked up when he noticed your presence, he stood straight, greeting you with a smirk on his face.

“What took you so long?” Jungkook asked, a sly smile still on his face.

“What do you want?” You pondered, glaring at him.

He scoffed, “You always ask the same question over and over even though you already know the answer.”

You didn’t respond, ignoring him, as you walked towards the driver’s seat but before you even opened the door, he already blocked you.

“Don’t ignore me while I’m talking to you.” He threatened, eyes buried on you.

“I have no more business with you.” You answered, passing by him as you opened the front door.

“As far as I remember, we still have business going on.” He said, provoking you even more.

You placed down your things on the passenger seat and before you could even hop on, he spoke.

“You’re brave enough to ignore me now. Why? Do you think I’m already done with you?” His voice dripped with a mocking undertone, a wry smirk played on his lips as he spoke.

“Or you’d be glad to see you and your best friend in the news by tomorrow morning?”

You clenched your jaw, glaring at him as you balled your fist. “I’ve already done what you want. I let you continue our remaining sessions but you go beyond that and pester me for almost 3 times a week! What more do you want?!”

He tilted his head, licking his lips, trying his best to hide his teasing smile. He clicked his tongue before he spoke. “That's the second time you ask that question. Do you have other questions in mind that you’d like to ask?”

“When will you ever stop?” He instantly laughed at your question.

“You didn’t even hide the fact that you already want me out of your life.”

“I never try hiding it.”

“You’re becoming stronger and bolder now, Y/N. Well, I prefer this rather than seeing you crying your ass out begging me to stop. Unless, you’re crying as you scream my name.” He wore a suggestive smirk, provoking you even more.

“You’re sick!”

“You’ve been asking what I want and I’ve already told you, Y/N. I hate it when I keep repeating myself. You’re not stupid, you know that.” He arched a brow, a scornful stare bore into you.

“And you’re delusional if you think I’d agree with that.”

“Then suit yourself and make sure that you won’t regret your decision.” He smirks, biting his lower lips.

“What are you gonna do?” You asked but when he didn’t answer and turned away, you screamed at him.

“Jungkook, what the fuck are you going to do?!”

He scoffed before he looked back. “You’ll see.”

—

You want to die.

You just fucking want to die and bring Jungkook along with you.

Your emotions churned like a violent sea, a mix of anxiety, anger and fear that threatened to overturn you. Your heart pounded with rage, and your fingers trembled with fear as you held your phone, trying to avoid dropping it.

A video posted on twitter is playing from your phone, a video that you saw a few days ago.

You felt like throwing up when you saw that video again. Taehyung's face is blurred, but you can tell it's him. People might struggle to identify the person beating up an innocent man, but it won't take long for them to figure it out.

‘I wonder if you guys have any hint of who’s that man on the video? I bet you guys know because you love him so much. But I also wonder if you know your idol’s true color.’

The caption says, and the account is made to specifically attack and throw hate to people.

This could be Jungkook, but you weren't certain because he could have asked others to do it to avoid implicating himself. He has a reputation to maintain as well.

101k views, 5k reposts and 26k likes.

‘Holy shit. Why do I feel like it’s Beom Seok from Horizon?’

‘This should be taken down.’

‘Eun Dae used to be a member of a fraternity before he become an idol lmaooo’

‘Taehyung was also rumored to be part of a frat before but it hasn't been proven yet.’

Fucking hell. Taehyung must know this shit already and you don’t know what to do. It should be taken down but the video was posted 2 hrs ago and you just saw it right now. Even though it was taken down, people already saved it from their devices.

You were still in the middle of breaking down when your phone rang, and when you saw the caller ID, your blood erupted.

It was Jeon Jungkook. You scream on your phone before you decline the call. You were about to turn your phone off when he sent a message that angered you even more.

‘Decline the call one more time, you will see the video again and I will make sure that the face of Taehyung is visible for everyone to know that it’s him.’

Your hands grew cold and started to shake when your phone rang once again. You had been clenching your teeth before deciding to answer the call.

“How are you, Doc?” He greets you in his sweet voice that only annoys you even more. “Do you think that I wouldn’t do it?” He added, releasing a sarcastic laugh.

“Take it down, Jungkook.” Your words dripped with menace.

“You’re the one who made me do it. It’s your fault, Y/N.”

“You monster! Why do you have to involve him?! He didn’t even do anything!” You screamed, pulling your hair out of anger.

“I know but you care for him so much. It’s a natural thing to involve him.”

Your tears run through your cheek as you collapse from the ground. You’re starting to lose your sanity.

“What do you want?” You spoke in a low voice.

“You want to know? Come here at my place and I will let you know, Y/N.”

—

You’ve expected that Jungkook is living in a high end luxurious apartment building but you didn’t expect that it would be in the highest floor, a penthouse.

Jungkook noted that he left the door unlocked so you can enter without him opening it for you. You were scared of what could happen inside his penthouse given the fact that he’s a dangerous person by murdering his own mother but you’re desperate to stop him.

Your heart was pounding when you opened his double-door and as expected, it was unlocked.

You are greeted by a huge area of floor-to-ceiling windows that frame breathtaking panoramic views of the whole city lights. The living room is adorned with designer furniture, a monochromatic symphony of blacks, grays, and whites, and a wall adorned with abstract art that speaks Jungkook's taste.

The place is beautiful, opposite to the person living in here.

“You came.” You immediately turned around when you heard his demonic voice behind. He’s in the corner of the stairs from the second floor as he slowly steps down, hands in his pocket with a smirk on his lips.

“Take that video down.” You glared, speaking with your teeth.

“Or else, what? Are you going to report me again? ” He stopped in the middle of the stairs, placing his hands on the railings. He scoffs when you don't respond. “You should know by now that it won’t work, Y/N.” He added, continuing to step down.

“I’m already here, so tell me what the fuck do you want?” You raised your voice, itching to know what he really wants.

“Why are you in a hurry, Doc?” He was about to touch your face when you blocked his hands, throwing it away.

“Take that video down, Jungkook.” You spoke, trying to contain yourself.

He smirks before he turns away and takes a step towards his kitchen island, pouring wine on his wine glass.

"I've already done that for being such a good and obedient girl." He sips on his wine, not breaking eye contact with you. “But I can upload it again if you choose to test my patience.” He adds. You bite the inside of your lower lips to prevent yourself from attacking him.

“Why did you even ask me to be here?”

“Didn’t I tell you before? I want you, Y/N.”

He poured wine in another glass and walked towards you, handling the wine for you, but you just glanced at it and returned your gaze to him.

“Let’s not waste time and tell me what the fuck you want so I can leave now.” You said in gritted teeth.

“I already told you, so stop being stubborn and drink this wine before I change my mind and upload the video with your best friend's face clearly visible along with the illegal recordings you had with your patient.” In an instant, he shifted from a playful smirk to a sudden seriousness, dropping the playful facade.

You take the wine in his hands and he asks you to drink but you immediately shake your head. “I’m not going to let you poison me.”

“If I’m going to do that, I already did when I first walked into your office. It’s easier to kill you than to kill my mother, if that’s what you want to hear.” His words sent shivers down your spine, forcing yourself to sip in the glass as the taste of rich, velvety smoothness of the wine caressed your tongue. He smirks when he is satisfied with your sip.

“See, you’re still alive.”

He turned around taking a step forward and telling you to follow him, but when you didn’t, he looked back and his unyielding gaze bore into you. “Are you coming or do you want me to drag you from where you stand right now?”

You swallow hard, trying not to prevent yourself from showing any signs of fear, but it was harder than you thought because you’re in his territory.

“Are you going to kill me?” Your words come out as a whisper but he was able to hear it and when he does, he grins.

“Why, are you scared?” He took a sip from his wine, eyes fixed on you. “To answer your question, no, I’m not going to kill you.”

“Then where are you taking me?”

“We’ll have dinner, now start to move before I drag you to the dining table.”

You indeed had dinner with him and several dishes were served on the long table. By just looking at what is served, you immediately remember that you hadn’t eaten anything yet since morning and everything you see is appetizing. The whole dining room was magnificent. The space was bathed in a war, golden glow of crystal chandelier that hung from a high, ornate ceiling. If you were in a different situation, you’d love to stay here.

Obviously, your life’s on the line and you can’t just eat and relax right now.

“Don’t you like the food? Why aren’t you eating much?” He asked before he took another bite of his steak.

You’ve tasted what’s in front of you and it was so insanely good, but you can’t eat much by just thinking of what situation you have right now.

"I'm not hungry," you reasoned out, then sipped your glass of water. You glanced around to see if there was anyone else in the vicinity, but you saw nothing, not even maids or cooks. It was the perfect opportunity for him to kill you, with no one else around except the two of you.

“I doubt. I know that you haven’t eaten anything. Go and enjoy your meal. It won’t harm you.” You only stare at your plate, trying to wash away the negative thoughts you have. You took another bite of your steak and you can’t help but to crave more on how it tastes so good.

“I could tell that you like the steak, but you’re having a hard time enjoying it. I wonder what’s running through your mind.” He placed both of his elbows on the table and intertwined his fingers.

“Will you let me go after this meal?” Your question made him chuckled, loud and mocking.

“Here you go again, so desperate to leave me.” He commented, wiping the corner of his lips with a table napkin.

“If you just tell me what you’re planning to do, then I wouldn’t keep asking you.” You answered, taking a sip of your water.

“This is the plan you’re asking about. Didn’t I tell you before that I wanted to take you out for dinner to show my gratitude for being my therapist? That’s what I’m doing right now.” He grabs his wine glass and leans back before he whirl the glass, taking a sip from it.

“That’s it? That’s what you want? To take me out for dinner?” You asked like you can’t believe what he just said.

“Why, what do you expect?” He placed his elbow on the arm rest and played with his lips; the mannerisms he does when he’s enjoying something.

“You must be kidding me right now. I know you want something more. I know you, Jungkook. I know you.”

“If you claim to know me so much, then you should know that I am serious with what I want from you.” His eyebrow furrowed, gazing at you with intensity. “That’s the problem with people like you. You think too much and it leads you to danger.” He scoffs.

He stood up from his seat and took a step towards you, while you didn’t move an inch from your position.

“From the moment I walked into your office, I know from myself that I want you. With your long hair falling back beautifully to the tight black dress you wore, I immediately agreed to take the sessions with you.” He stood beside you from your seat, resting his hands on the backrest of your chair while you were there, completely frozen.

“Hoseok and my lawyer Namjoon told me that I should act like the incident causes me trauma to prevent them from suspecting me to be the culprit. I did not agree because it’s bullshit but they keep on convincing me.” He chuckled as he remembered something. “I planned on attending a single session and I won’t show up again but when I saw you sitting on your office chair with a bright smile on your pretty face, I thought that attending sessions with you won’t be that bad after all.”

He caresses your hair and you try not to flinch, clenching your jaw.

“I do enjoy the sessions we had because you’re so entertaining to watch. You talked as if you know everything but the truth is, you don’t. I just let you think that way because you’re so passionate about what you do. I don’t want to ruin your ego, Doc.”

He kept on caressing your hair and when you couldn't take it anymore, you stood up, facing him with anger on your face.

“I’m done with my meal. I’m going home.” You gazed at him with a piercing stare, picking up your things.

“You think I will let you leave just like that?” An ominous aura surrounded him when `he spoke. You’re trying to strengthen yourself as you take a step towards the door, but before you even made it, he spoke again. “Get back here, Y/N.” He threatened.

“Stop playing with me, Jungkook.”

“Try to take another step and I will make sure that before this night ends, your career is over as well as your best friend’s. You know that I can do it, Y/N. You wouldn’t like to test me again.” A cold, sinister flowed from his voice.

You didn’t dare take another step, afraid of provoking him even more. You hate that he can control you with just the use of his words. You still have the lash on your neck, making him take control over you.

“That’s right, be the good girl that you are, Y/N.” He said, with a smirk on his lips. He placed his hands inside his pocket as he slowly walked towards you. “I don’t understand why you keep giving me that kind of behavior but you can’t stand by it.” He towered over you and he tried to touch your cheek but before he even did it, you avoided his touch and took a step backward.

He smirks, staring at you before he speaks again. “Even if you try to avoid me, I will still find my way to you, Y/N. If I were you, I wouldn't waste my time doing that.” He walks back to the long table and grabs his wine glass and takes a sip on it without leaving his eyes on you.

You didn’t move nor say anything, observing his movements. You’re at his territory and you couldn’t risk provoking him because he can do anything to you without the people knowing what’s happening inside his penthouse.

He grabbed the new bottle of wine and opened it, filling up your wine glass, walking towards you, and handling you the glass. You only stare at it and Jungkook gestures to you to take it.

“Hurry up and get it, Y/N. My arms are starting to numb.” He said and you are left without a choice, so you take the wine from his hands. “Go drink it.”

You look at the wine glass and there are a few bubbles underneath it and you swallow hard before you take a sip from it.

“Finish it up, Y/N. Don’t make me tell you everything you have to do.”

You wanted to cry but you didn’t let your guards down. You’re starting to regret going here.

You chug the wine while your hands are trembling and he smiles after you finish it.

“That’s right, you’re such a good girl.” He took the glass from you and placed it back on the table.

After a few moments, your heartbeat increases rapidly and your whole body starts to tremble. Jungkook was just looking at you as he enjoyed his wine and you suddenly felt so weak, your head started to ache.

There is something wrong with the wine.

You take a deep breath, fighting the weakness within you. You wouldn’t want to show that you’re getting weak in front of him. You walk back to your seat and grab your things before looking at him.

“I really have to go. I have a lot of things to do.” You spoke in your low voice, being careful of your actions.

Jungkook pouted in a sarcastic way. “There’s no way I’m letting you go.” he answered before he smirked. Your headache worsened but you didn’t show any signs of your weakness.

He walked towards you and you admit that you’re getting scared of what he might do. You step back but there is no more space because the table is already bumping your back. He raised his hand to touch your face once again but you blocked his touch.

And in a snap of a finger, he aggressively grabbed your face using only a single hand and his eyes suddenly filled with darkness. “Stop resisting me, Y/N. You can’t win over me.” He spoke in a low but sinister tone.

Your limbs trembled uncontrollably, unable to withstand the weight of your fear. After a few seconds of staring at your soul with so much intensity, he already released his firm hold on your face but he didn’t move away. Instead, he slowly traces your face with his fingers.

Your weakness worsens and you can’t move nor think anymore. The only thing you can do is let him touch you.

“I love it so much when the cause of your weakness is me.”

Your eyes widen as you gasp silently when his lips crushes on you. It was hard and you tried to move away but he gripped your arm, unabling you to move. You were trying to push him but because of your weakness, it didn’t even move an inch.

“Open your mouth, baby girl.” He commands as he speaks in between his kisses.

“Jungkook s-stop—

“I told you not to fight me.”

His lips went down on your neck sucking your skin and you used all your strength to push him away but he was too strong. He locked your hand on the table as he shifted his kiss on your lips and neck. Your body is shaking and tears are now flowing from your cheek and when he notices it, he stops, staring at you without removing his grip on your hand from the table.

“If you keep being difficult, I fucking swear that you wouldn’t make it out alive and I will make sure that your bestfriend will fall on the ground so hard that he can never recover.” He whispers in your ear, making you stand frozen with a pounding heart.

You were too weak to fight and you’re sure that it’s not only because he’s dangerous but there is something in the wine you just drank.

He stares at your face, like memorizing every feature of it. He lifts his hand, slowly wiping your tears away. He traces your face before he moves closer to peck your forehead. His lips were soft on your skin, but it only sent shivers down your spine.

“You don’t have to be scared because I will bring heaven to you.” He whispers before he sucks your ear lobe.

He held your waist while kissing you, pushing his tongue inside. His lips were so soft and you could taste the bittersweet of the wine he just drank a few moments ago. His hands were traveling around your body while his lips were still on yours. You wanted to push him and run away but you know that you couldn’t do that because before you even reach his gigantic door, you’re probably dead.

“Do you know how much I crave for you, huh?” He tried to speak in his desperate kisses as his breath became heavier. “From the first time I step in your office, you never leave my head. You fucking drive me insane.”

He lifted you up to the table as his kisses became aggressive and you were just there, being helpless.

He cupped the back of your neck as he sucked it leaving a bruise before his hands traveled down to your thighs and caressed them. His hands were burning through your skin and you deny that your body starts to burn as well. He lifts you up and your thighs are in between his body carrying you to an unfamiliar room and the next thing you know, you’re already laying down on a bed.

Your back slowly touched the soft mattress as he started to crawl on the top of you. Your body is trembling and your heart is beating so fast as he brushes your face with the back of his fingers.

“This is what I really want, Y/N. Me on the top of you.” The room is dark but you could still see the glimpse of his face with how the moon illuminated the darkness of the room. He gently strokes your face down to your neck, until it reaches your chest. He leans forward and places his ears on your chest, listening to your pounding heartbeat. “Just by listening to your heartbeat is enough for me to get turned on.” He whispers in your ears before he brushes his lips to your neck, immediately feelings his hot and wet breaths.

Your breath rose when you felt his fingers crawling underneath your shirt, fingers wandering at your bare skin. You suddenly flinch when his fingers rub your breast, making him smirk. “You like it when I touch you like this?” He asked in his low and seductive voice, and when you didn’t respond, his fingers circles your nipples slowly causing you to moan.

You’re wearing a dress and he slowly lifts the end of it, completely taking your dress off and when he did, he gave a peck on your breast before removing your bra. A sudden sense of unwanted pleasure filled your body as he sucked your left breast while massaging the other one, leaving a tingle on your stomach. It didn’t take long before his lips connected on yours, slipping his tongue, letting out another moan. He moves his mouth down to your neck once again, sucking it while his other hand is trailing down your back.

His fingers travel down on the waistband of your underwear, leaving soft kisses. “I’ve always wondered how your bare body looks, and it’s exactly how I imagine. So sexy and gorgeous.” He played with the waistband of your underwear before he slowly pulled it down, leaving you gasping.

You’re at the verge of crying when he spreads your legs apart, exposing your bare pussy, leaning down and leaving a kiss on your pelvic bone. You tried to push your body deeper in the mattress to avoid his kisses, but he only grips your hips firmly to prevent yourself from moving. “Stop fighting, Y/N.” He said with a stone voice.

He leaves a last peck on your pelvic bone, moving down on your clit before he kisses it, leaving you panting. You resist yourself from whimpering but when he slides a tongue on your clit, you groan. You were fighting the pleasure that you felt, but the more he keeps on licking your folds, the more your body burns.

"Fuck baby, you taste just like how I imagined it. So sweet for me."

You were disgusted at yourself for feeling something so good, and disgusted at him for doing this to you.

“You act like you don’t like what you feel, but with how wet you are, it only proves how you love this so much.” He said—almost sounds like a whimper. Your eyes widened when you felt his fingers circling your clit before he slowly inserted it inside. You moan so loud when he moves his fingers as he licks your clit and you cry with the burning sensation radiating to you.

You weren’t a virgin and you’ve hooked up several times, yet you can’t admit it to yourself that he was doing good eating you out.

“No matter how you say that you hate me, your body will never lie.” He whispers, as he drag his finger inside and out in a quicker motion.

No matter how you stop yourself from moaning, that sound escapes your mouth.

Pain leaves you when he pulls his fingers and when you look at him, he removes his shirt revealing his chiseled and sculpted body. He leans forward to slide his fingers inside your mouth, letting you taste yourself before he slides his tongue. A moan escaped you when he rubbed his fingers on your clit, feeling your wetness, before he inserted his finger once again.

You’re trying your best not to let out another moan but your body is betraying you because you were moaning in between his lips that you could feel his smirk.

“Don’t be hard on yourself and let yourself enjoy it, baby girl.”

After a few moments of him fucking your pussy with his fingers, your whimper as you reached your orgasm. You shred a tear when you realize how your own body betrays you.

He withdraws his fingers as he continues to suck your neck while his hands are circling to your waist down to your hips and grinding his body on you. He then pulls himself to take off the pants that he’s wearing as your body starts to tremble.

You stare at his movements as he pulls down his pants and you gasp when he pulls it down, completely exposing dick.

His huge, holy shit.

He strokes it and it arouses you even more. You hate yourself right now more than you hate him because you can’t believe that you’re craving it.

“Please Jungkook, don’t.” Your voice quivered with desperate pleading.

“Stop acting that you’re not enjoying it because your body says otherwise.” He scoffs before he kneels in between your body and pumps his dick, gripping it tightly.

“Spread your legs for me, baby girl.” He commands as he parts your legs. Your eyes widen when you feel that he’s rubbing his dick on your folds as your wetness overflows and a moan is released on your lips.

“That’s right, moan for me.” He said, almost sound like a whimper teasing you even more and it didn’t take long when he slid his dick inside you making your nails buried on his back.

“Fuck Y/N, you’re so tight!” He moaned as he went deeper. He placed his hand on your back and a pain filled you when he dug deeper. He was sucking your neck as he kept thrusting in and out. You were pulling his hair, as he groaned on every thrust he made. He stops from time to time to suck your nipples and kiss your lips, making you moan continuously.

"You're taking me so well, fuck. That's right, take me so well."

You’re starting to cry with the unwanted pleasure you feel but Jungkook only kisses your tears away. And with a hard thrust, you’re about to come. Your breath comes out heavily as you keep on whimpering with every thrust he does. Jungkook curses, his thrust becomes harder and you start to tremble.

“Yes baby, cum all over me and show me how much you enjoyed this.” His words almost sound like a whimper and it only motivates you to reach your second orgasm.

And when you did, you cried louder as he thrust harder and deeper for the last time.

—

You were lying on his bed without your clothes, while he was beside you, sleeping peacefully as if he hadn't disrespected you an hour ago. His bed was the softest and most comfortable you had ever experienced, its softness enveloping your body in a gentle embrace. However, all you could feel was disgust and anger at what he had done to you.

You should be running right now but your body froze and you can’t move them even an inch. It happened three times in a row, and you've been begging him to stop, but he doesn't listen, as if he were possessed by a devil. He's already a monster himself, but you didn't anticipate him forcing you to comply. Most especially, you loathe yourself because your body responds to his desires, leading him to believe that you genuinely enjoy what he's doing, but in reality, you're horrified.

The room is dark, and the moon casts its enchanting glow upon it. You're gazing at the full glass window, where the distant city lights flicker in the distance. An emotional numbness envelopes you, leaving you unstable and broken.

You slowly turn towards the person beside you, and as expected, he's asleep. You can't believe how different he appears when he's sleeping, nothing like the person you know. Instead, he resembles a man who wouldn't harm a soul when his eyes are closed. However, the burning anger you feel hasn't subsided. You can never forget what he has done to you.

The anger surged within you and you wanted to lash out, to make him feel the same pain he has caused you. You clenched your fist and the thought of killing him gnawed at the edges of your sanity.

You looked around to find something to protect yourself from him. Slowly, you raised yourself from lying down, careful not to make any movements that might wake him up. With trembling hands, you reach your dress from the floor and put it on before scanning the room.

You've been here for quite some time, but this is the first occasion you've had to observe his entire room. As expected, his room is quite spacious, yet you can't discern the color of the walls as darkness covers the entire space. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a chest of drawers in the corner of the room, and above it, there are photographs adorning the wall. As you take a step closer, your heart rate quickens upon seeing the photos that are affixed to the wall.

The room might be dark but it’s evident that the polaroid photos on the wall are you. There are a lot of photos of you and they are a mix of a photo from your social media accounts and a photo that he took without you noticing it.

He’s been stalking you for a quite long time already.

A memory comes back when you’ve felt that someone is looking at you or when you’ve felt like he’s around and you brush it all away believing that you were wrong but it all makes sense because he’s been stalking you and you don’t have any idea of it.

Your trembling hands worsened as your jaw clenched, turning around with your eyes glared at his sleeping figure.

Your anger consumes you, and with every fiber of your being, a raw, primal fury pulses, urging you to harm him. As your rage intensifies, a dark abyss opens in your mind, and your thoughts race. You take a step toward the bed where he's lying down as your heart thunders in your chest.

‘You fucking monster.’

Even if there isn’t enough light, you still manage to look around to find something. You returned to the chest drawer opening it and you gasped as you saw more photos inside. You didn’t try to look at them one by one focusing on finding something.

‘I will fucking kill you’

From the drawer, you walked around and opened every cabinet inside his room to find something you’re looking for and when you did, your body suddenly froze.

A gun.

With your heavy breaths and trembling hand, you took it out from the drawer and took a moment to stare at it.

But before you’ve processed everything, you heard a voice speak.

“My little Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?”

You immediately stood up, turned around, and saw Jungkook standing 7 feet away from you. The room was so dark that you couldn't see his face, but you could make out his silhouette. He was wearing pants but nothing on top.

You pointed the gun at him but he only laughed it out. Your entire body froze as you pointed the gun firmly on him and your heartbeat echoed loudly on your ears. Your breath came short, as if your lungs were struggling to keep up with your racing thoughts.

He walked slowly toward the bedside table and switched on the lamp, causing the room to fill with a warm glow. It wasn't very bright, but it was enough for both of you to see each other.

He grins as he sees that you stepped back, holding the gun firmer when he took a step towards you.

You’re shaking so bad but you can’t hold your guards down because anything can happen in just a matter of seconds.

“What, you’re gonna shoot me after I satisfy you?” He said with a grin on his lips.

“I’m going to kill you.” Your voice is low but every word you say is sharp enough to show that you’re serious but he only scoffed at your words.

“Really, you’re going to do that?” His voice was seductive, provoking you even more.

You try to find any signs of fear on his face but you find nothing. Instead, it only worsens your emotions. You weren’t sure if the gun that you’re holding is loaded and you only pray that it does.

It’s your first time holding a gun and you don't have any idea of how to use it but your life is in danger and you have to act accordingly.

You cocked the gun and pointed it out at him once again.

“Do you even know how to use that?” He pouted as if he cares but it was full of mockery and sarcasm.

“Don’t come near me.” You whispered as you held the gun firmly.

“Come on Y/N, don’t embarrass yourself.” He took a step back and sat at the edge of the bed, while his eyes were on you. “We both know that you aren't capable of doing that. Didn’t I satisfy you enough?”

“Shut up.”

“As far as I remember, you love it so much when I eat you out. Did I think that wrong?” He rested his hand on the mattress behind him. “I love every reaction that you make when you feel so good. I love it when you dig your nails on my skin because you can’t contain the stimulation. And by how you feel so weak with my touch and kiss–

“Shut the fuck up!”

Your heart raced, your body trembled and a cold sweat broke out on your forehead. your thoughts worsen into chaos and an overwhelming dread washed over you. You can’t take the words he said. You just wanted him to shut up.

He stares at you with so much intensity, like he can see through your soul. “You should’ve checked if the gun was loaded, babe.” He commented shifting his gaze to the gun you’re holding.

You shook your head as you pressed your lips firmly. “You monster. I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“Then kill me,” He spoke in his low voice. “Shoot me, Y/N.” He slowly stands up and walks towards you, making you step backwards. You panicked even more but you tried your best to stay still and point the gun towards him.

“Show me how brave you are, Dr. Y/N.” Your back bumps into the cabinet behind you when there is no more space for you to step back as you were shaking so badly and you can no longer hold your tears. He pressed his chest on the muzzle of the gun while looking at you with so much intensity.

In the blink of an eye, he firmly grabs your arm, attempting to wrest the gun from your grip, but you hold it even more tightly. You push him using your elbow, but he chokes you, and you tremble in pain. He's strong, but your determination is unwavering, and you won't lose to him this time.

You step forcefully onto his right foot, and when he shows his weakness, you swiftly break free from his grasp. However, he manages to trip you, causing you to fall and drop the gun.

You immediately crawl to get the gun but he pulled your leg away from it.

“You can never escape me, Y/N!” He spoke as his hands circled around your neck.

Your eyes were starting to blur, preventing you from seeing anything for a few moments. A sense of helplessness washed over you until your eyes caught the gun a few inches away from you. He was focused on choking you to death while you’re focused on reaching the gun. Desperation clouded your thoughts, urging you to stay stronger and when you finally reached the gun, you immediately pulled the trigger in his direction.

You stood up when he released you, as a searing pain tore through his body upon being struck by the bullet, leaving him gasping for breath. You held the gun firmly while he endured the pain in his rib that had been hit by a bullet.

You cocked the gun one more time and pointed at him.

You panted heavily as a panic gripped you, the inability to catch your breath adding to the rising sense of fear. He clenched his jaw, forcing himself not to let a sound escape his lips.

He pressed his hand on his rib, looking at you with the same eyes that you despise so much. Despite being shot, he can still manage to look at you with mockery.

"Do you believe that after what you've done, you have already… won?" He smirks as he slowly falls on the ground, enduring his physical pain. “I was in your position months ago. Holding a… gun as I shoot my mother. How ironic that the person… who tried to heal me was also the person… who would try to kill me.” He felt an agonizing, relentless throbbing at the site of the gunshot trying to ease the pain. He tried to stand up before he continued. “You’ve said a lot of times that my actions are… bad but look at you right now… Doing the same… thing.”

“We’re not the same!” You shouted, holding the gun with your two hands. “You ruin my life, you monster!” You felt a seething rage, a burning intensity that threatened to overtake you.

He only smirks at your response. “Really? Because last time I checked… I shoot my mother for being the monster that she is.”

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to me!” Your fingers were trembling, itching to pull the trigger.

“You might keep on denying it but we both know the truth.” Even in his situation, he can still play with a sinister smile on his lips.

“You’re fucking wrong—

“Come on, Y/N! Look at you!” His eyes blazed with fiery, smirking at you as he cut you off. “You’re just like me! We’re really meant to be!” You are consumed by fury, your thoughts a turbulent storm of anger as his sinister laugh triggers you even more. Your heart pounded in your chest, tears streaming down your cheek and without you noticing it, you’re shooting him continuously.

“Fuck you! Motherfucker!”

You continue to curse and pull the trigger even though he's already lying on the ground. Your anger blinds you to the point where you can no longer process your actions.

“I’m not like you! I’m fucking not like you!” You screamed along with every shot you made. Your heart pounded on your chest, as your words dripped with outrage. The only time you stop is when the gun is out of bullets.

The room was surrounded by blood as you observed his lifeless body lying on the ground. You couldn't recall how many times you had shot him, but judging by the considerable amount of blood scattered about, it was evident that you had shot him numerous times.

Your vision swam before you, blurring the edges of reality as the world around you seemed to spin. You glance at the gun you’re holding and you immediately drop it off. Your whole body trembled uncontrollably, making you collapse on the floor.

Blood. There’s a lot of blood.

The surroundings fell into an eerie silence and a chill ran down your spine. You're suddenly suffocated by fear as you crawl backward.

He’s dead. I killed him.

The only thing that you hear is the ticking sound of the clock and nothing else. You slowly look around but the only thing you see is blood.

“But look at you right now, doing the same thing.”

“You’re just like me! We’re really meant to be!”

You covered your ears as you heard him. He was dead but you can still hear his sinister voice.

“You can never escape me, Y/N!”

“STOP!”

—

The horizon blazed with a rich, golden hue as the sun's first rays pierced the darkness. Birds whistled as the day began. The air, now filled with the promise of warmth and life and with each passing moment, the sky emerged from its darkness.

Yet the horror you’ve made is still there.

You’re under the glass window, watching the world to start its day. The room is still covered in blood–your body is still covered in blood. The sun has risen yet you wanted to stay in the dark. You don’t know what to do anymore.

You suddenly heard the ringtone of your phone, making you feel more vulnerable. You covered your ears to prevent yourself from hearing it yet the sound seems to hunt you.

After the call dies, you thought that it won’t ring again but before you can even have a peace of mind, it rang once again.

Your legs tremble when you stand up. You do your best not to look at the corpse laying on the ground as you walk out of the room.

His living room is exactly how it looked the last time you saw it. You look around to see any living thing but you sense nothing. Your phone is still ringing when you spot it on the top of the dining table where you ate last night.

Where he forced you to drink a wine that made you weak.

Tears welled up in your eyes when you saw the caller’s ID.

It was your best friend.

It was Taehyung.

“Thank god you answered! Where the hell are you?! I’ve been calling you since last night but you aren’t answering! You’re gonna kill me for worrying to you!”

Hearing his voice broke you down. Your tears flowed continuously as an uncontrollable emotion poured out on you.

“Y/N, what happened? Why are you crying?” A deep concern is evident in his voice.

You were shaking, crying with broken sobs as you covered your mouth in an attempt to calm down.

“Y/N! Speak up! What’s wrong?!”

“Tae… Please help me.” You attempt to speak.

“Where are you? I’m going there.”

“Taehyung.”

“Y/N, what happened?”

“I made a grave sin.”

“What?”

Your wailing sobs echoed through the whole area as you fell on your knees. He keeps asking what happened but you’re having a hard time admitting it.

“Y/N, how am I going to help you if you can’t tell me?”

After a few moments, you started to calm down. Your sobs gradually subsided, a quiet hiccup escaped you as you closed your eyes briefly.

“I killed a man.” The words escape your lips and a new set of tears forms on your eyes.

You never thought that you would resort to killing him. Out of all the things that happened, you wanted to end everything without harming anyone. You’re a well-known psychiatrist who has an advocacy that despite of who you are and what you’ve become, your mental health matters.

You know yourself well. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and the cause of your happiness and sadness. But that’s what you thought.

You can’t control your emotions.

No matter how you try, you will always have a hard time controlling it.

There are a lot of reasons why people act without thinking when they are emotional. According to a study, physiologically, emotions can activate the body's fight-or-flight response. When emotions trigger this response, stress hormones like adrenaline flood the system, preparing the body to respond to perceived threats. This physiological reaction can reduce the ability to think clearly and may lead to impulsive actions.

“Where are you?” After a long pause, Taehyung finally spoke.

“At Jeon Jungkook’s place. One of my patients.” You respond in a low voice.

“Message me the exact address and I’ll be right there.”

You weren’t in your right mind when you pulled the trigger. You didn’t like what happened.

Therefore, you weren’t just like him.

It was his fault, after all.

-end-

a/n: finally, it's complete! Thank you so much for joining me in writing this JK fic. It's my first time delving into the thriller genre, and I've truly enjoyed the experience. I also hope that you all enjoy reading it as well. Have a great day, everyone!

taglist: @idkjustlovingbts @koohrs @minshookie29 @aajjks @softie00 @exquisite-bands @kingofbodyrolls @floralflowexs @oopscoop @yoonjinhusbands @ash07128 @kookiesbunny @cinnikoi @yluv-damara-13 @hoseoksluv89 @darkuni63 @iloverubberduckiez-blog @fangirl-death-rose @looneybleus

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merbear25 · 4 months ago

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Hey hi! Can you do romantic nsfw hcs with France, prussia and China x reader who's a masochist? Thanks!!! :3

Hello, there! I sure can! I must say that I appreciate the ask. Us masochists need a bit more material specific to us, am I right? Remember to practice safe sex.💜💜

CW: NSFW, MDNI, gn!reader, headcanons, kinks mentioned

With a reader who’s a masochist (France, Prussia, China)

France

He was taken aback at first—completely surprised that you told him such dark fantasies.

He wasn’t exactly a satanist, but he was no stranger to branching out of his comfort zone.

There would undoubtedly be a discussion in more detail about what you specifically wanted: what was on and off the table, and if he was comfortable fulfilling your desires to their fullest extent. It was conversation that was necessary to get the full picture of what consent meant to both of you. A safe word went without question to ensure comfort on both sides.

For him personally, he enjoyed light bondage like fuzzy handcuffs and sensation play like blindfolds and earplugs. However, he’d always wanted to try using sensual wax.

Biting was something he’d enjoy, as well. He typically kept them as light nips, but hearing you beg for more made him lose himself in the moment. He hadn’t intended to mark your pretty skin, but your reactions lessened his apprehension.

Any mark he gave was soothed with wet kisses, as if sucking some of the sting out.

He wasn’t really comfortable with knife play or anything that would potentially scar you.

There were certain positions that affected you more than others, ones which hit that sweet spot and allowed an intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure. During these positions, his lust came more alive. Having you pant and squirm under him was a symphony he’d never tire of hearing, so he’d take full advantage of those moments.

Prussia

Although he may not be as kinky as his brother, he was just as adventurous—maybe even more so given his wild nature.

Even if he got ahead of himself at times, sex was one of the few things that he took his time to slow down for; this included both pleasure aspects and consent.

He was a bit more reluctant to experiment on a whim when it came to personal safety—masochism offered more risk, after all.

In a rare moment of maturity, he’d want to talk about what your specific turn-ons and fantasies were. There were few things that were completely off-limits for him, so he’d mostly just listen while you explained, taking a mental note for later.

He quite enjoyed BDSM, especially whips and chains. Your eagerness to explore more of his kinks was rather exciting for him. There weren’t many partners he’d had that were so willing to experience these things, which only made you more alluring.

Gripping your hips tightly, possibly bruising them, as you cried out in lustful sobs was like music to his ears.

Such beautiful sounds coaxed him into biting and / or spanking with such force that it left a welt.

He’d definitely want to use ropes, choke you, and explore sensation play with heat and cold. There’d have to be a safe word set in place because there were times he got carried away in the moment.

China

He knew he wasn’t the most adventurous in the bedroom, but that didn’t mean he was boring.

Exploring this part of sex wasn’t really something he’d gotten around to doing before. Sure, there may have been a few naughty films or magazines that caught his attention in the past, but acting these out was far beyond his experience.

Going about discussing your fantasies to their fullest extent was a conversation that you led for the most part. It was all a bit of a shock to him, but he wasn’t exactly opposed to broadening his horizons.

A safe word was set in place more for his sake because you could get just a little too intense for him.

Cupping would be right up his alley because it was more or less hands off, and he could just watch your expression change between blissful pain to full ecstasy. Places he’d find the sexiest would be your thighs and along your spine. The patterns and intimacy of it all was enough to make his head spin.

Knowing that you genuinely enjoyed what he did to you made him feel more confident. It was all a learning process for him, so please be patient with him. He ultimately wanted to make you feel good. He just needed some time to wrap his head around certain…requests you made.

#x reader #hetalia #aph hetalia #hetalia world series #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #hws #hetalia headcanons #hetalia imagines #hetalia x reader #hetalia x you #aph china #aph france #aph prussia #hetalia smut

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blakeswritingimagines · 10 months ago

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Kink list with Trevor Zegras:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He's attentive to your needs and provides the aftercare you need. He's not afraid to talk about his feelings and makes sure you're comfortable. He's also open to doing more intimate things like cuddling or showering together after.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is probably his abs because he's worked pretty hard to get the definition he has. As for your body, he's a huge fan of your curves, particularly your shapely figure that fits perfectly in his hands regardless of your size. The smooth texture of your skin is also a huge turn-on and a huge part of what makes you so irresistible to him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He usually cums inside of you, as finding that's more satisfying. However, from time to time. He enjoys cumming outside, such as on your body like chest or face.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

A dirty secret of his is that he's a bit of a voyeur. He enjoys watching people secretly and from discreet locations. It's fun to find a good spot and observe people without them knowing. The thrill of being discovered or possibly caught gets him going.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's fairly experienced when it comes to sex, and he's had his fair share of relationships and hookups, so he'd like to believe that he has some idea of how to handle himself. However, there's always room for improvement and learning new things, so he's always open to exploring and experimenting with you.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Oh, that's definitely a tough one. I don't think he can narrow it down to just one position, because he enjoys a variety of positions depending on the mood and the person he's with. Some of his favorites are standard positions like missionary and doggy style, while others are pretty unusual like the butterfly or the wheelbarrow. At the end of the day, it's all about experimenting and having fun to find what works best for both parties.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He tends to be more serious when he's focused on your pleasure. He likes to give his full attention to the task at hand and make sure he's doing everything right to make you feel good. That doesn't mean he doesn't have a sense of humor, as he loves being playful and adding a bit of comedy and silliness to the situation. It all depends on the vibe and the mood you're in.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I'd say he's pretty well-groomed and his carpet definitely matches the drapes. He tends to keep things fairly trimmed down there, but not completely shaved off. He likes to keep things neat and well-maintained.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

When it comes to the romantic aspect, he's very affectionate and attentive in the moment. He's all about the foreplay and the build-up to the main event. He enjoys teasing and seducing you, getting you hot and heavy before finally engaging in the act itself. Once you're there, he's all about the intimate touching and caresses. He's all about pleasing you and taking his time to make sure you're enjoying yourself.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When it comes to masturbation, He enjoys fantasizing about having a lot of different sexual ideals with you. In his head, he imagines himself experiencing the pleasures of intimacy, how often he does it is highly dependent on his mood and his mental state, but I'd say he typically does it several times a week on average.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

His kinks generally tend to reflect his personality and what he's into in general. Some of his kinks include BDSM, role-playing, dirty talking, dominance/submission, bondage restraints, and experimentation.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He doesn't have a specific favorite place for doing the do, but some of the more interesting and unique places are in are the backseat of a car, the beach, and some abandoned buildings. As for the more typical places to enjoy, the bedroom, the living room, and even the kitchen are all favorites pretty much he can get it he will.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

What turns him on and gets him going can vary greatly, but some of the most common things that do it for him include a sexy outfit or clothing, foreplay, dirty talk, and watching you enjoy yourself. In general, he's easily turned on and excited by the thought, sight, or idea of anything involving intimacy and sex with a partner.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Something he wouldn't do is engage in any of the dangerous or excessive fetish activities. He doesn't want to risk health or safety in the name of pleasure and enjoyment, and he's set up boundaries for himself that he won't break. As for turning him off, poor hygiene or lack of cleanliness can be an instant turn-off for him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He's more of a receiver than a giver, but he definitely enjoys both equally. As for skill, I'd say he's pretty confident in his ability to please you and do the job right. He's had plenty of practice and experience and likes to think that he's gotten pretty good at it over time.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He tries to be a pretty dynamic lover, so he can range from being fast and rough to being slow and sensual. It depends on the mood and the person he's with, and he likes to switch between the two and try to create a good balance. But he definitely has a natural inclination toward the fast and rough side.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies instead of proper sex is definitely a more convenient and quicker way to get the job done. It's not the same level of connection and intimacy as properly taking your time, but it's still an enjoyable experience. On average, he's prone to having a quickie about a couple of times a week when he's really feeling the urge.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He's definitely game to experiment and take risks when it comes to sex. He's always open to trying new things and pushing his limits to see what gives him that extra thrill. He'll definitely research and read up on different techniques, positions, and kinks to try out. He's also not opposed to trying out things that may feel a bit dangerous or taboo, like public sex at a park or on a beach during the night.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

In terms of rounds and duration, that's a very hard question to answer. It's mainly dependent on his mood and performance. I'd say he's been able to go for multiple rounds in one session for about an hour or so. But every time you do it, it's different and unique.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He does own a few toys which he uses on you and himself from time to time when he's away. The majority of his toys are more on the traditional BDSM side, it adds an extra element of fun and intimacy to the mix when you incorporate them into the equation. They can be a great way to spice things up and add novelty and variation to your sex life.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He absolutely lives to tease. One of his favorite parts of being intimate with someone is slowly building up the tension and suspense. He likes to take his time and prolong the anticipation as much as he can. He loves seeing you get more and more worked up until you're practically begging him for more. It's so erotic and fun to play with your emotions and drive you wild in that way.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

In general, he'd like to think he's pretty quiet during the act. But if he's enjoying himself or he's getting really into it, he might make some soft moans and grunts. Sometimes he also makes some noise as a result of breathing more heavily or just out of instinct or emotion.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

A dirty secret of his is that he enjoys getting very descriptive and detailed when talking about sex or intimate events. He likes to talk about all the different details and aspects of the act in a way that's almost too explicit or raunchy. It turns him on to hear you get so into it but it definitely gets him going.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

7 and a half inches no more no less and the sensation of his veins and his bulbous tip throbbing against your insides enough to let you know that he's close.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

On a scale of 1-10, I'd say his sex drive is around an 8. He has a high libido and enjoys a healthy and active sex life. He's usually pretty motivated and eager to engage in intimate activities and often finds himself thinking about or desiring sex.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If it’s a nighttime or late-night intimate session, he finds that he typically falls asleep pretty quickly after. It’s a feeling of relaxation and satisfaction that usually causes him to drift off to sleep. But if it’s in the morning or daytime, he's usually pretty energized and ready to go again before going on with his day.

#trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras #trevor zegras blurb #anaheim ducks #nhl smut #nhl x reader #nhl fic #kink list

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dokk-fukuro · 2 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet [Ranpo Edogawa]

A/N: Minors not allowed, SMUT

۞₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪۞

• A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Edogawa usually spends a lot of energy in the process, so he prefers to do nothing, remaining motionless for a while. However, if he has strength left, you can count on a hot bath and eating goodies. He's sure you need to replenish your strength;

• B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) It is very difficult for the greatest detective to say which part of his body is his favorite. He loves all of himself, but if he has to choose, then these are the eyes, because you look into them with such love during foreplay. Ranpo is attracted to you by your waist. He loves hugging you in a breathtaking way, or digging his fingers into it when you're on top;

• C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Cleaning up after your act of love is a tedious task for him, so Edogawa prefers to cum in a condom. If you use other methods of contraception, he will cum inside you with great pleasure;

• D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He likes to mentally bet on what kind of underwear you're wearing this time, so if he's wrong, which is very rare, Kenji stares at the sweets on the table in front of him, incomprehension. He also often imagines you under his table with his dick in your mouth, but when no one is there;

• E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He wasn't particularly interested in sex before you came into his life, so Ranpo only has a theory in his head;

• F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Any position in which he can look into your eyes. Eye contact is very important to him during the process;

• G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Ranpo is very serious at such moments. If most often he can be caught behind childish behavior, then, left one on one, all “childishness” comes to naught;

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He obviously grooms them, but does not shave smoothly, because it is energy-consuming. Plus Rampo doesn't have that much patience;

• I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) The romance is a bit off about him. But you can’t say that Edogawa is a hopeless stoic in moments of unity with you. Candlelight dinner or endless declarations of love are not worth waiting for, but his emotions towards you are deep, even very;

• J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Very rarely, and then on condition that you do not have the opportunity to retire or see each other at least for the time of mutual caresses;

• K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He likes when you wear glasses. Edogawa gets really turned on because they make you strict, which is very appealing to him. Bites and a collar around your neck also turns him on;

• L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Ranpo doesn't like being interrupted, so he only allows himself to touch you in places where you can be guaranteed to be alone. He likes to do it with you at his place or at your place, especially in the bathroom. Enjoy each other, and immediately tidy yourself up. Two birds with one stone!

• M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) When you are strictly dressed and bite writing objects. He likes to see glasses on the bridge of your nose, a white fitted shirt and a tapered skirt. And if you bend over his desk to hand over the papers he needs... Fukuzawa will have to work really hard to find both of you;

• N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Never do anything against your will. It is important for him that both of you enjoy making love, although it seems from the outside that he is selfish. Also, Ranpo does not accept filming of your act of love, even for personal, home viewing;

• O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's very good with his tongue. It is, in general, no wonder how many lollipops he sucked. Edogawa loves when you sit on his face, but also loves when you sit between his legs;

• P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Measured and smooth. Rampo is mostly free at the ADA office, so he sees no point in rushing there. But there are days when the greatest detective only wants to hear you crack your voice beneath him;

• Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Doesn't like much, but resorts to it when there is no time to enjoy you properly;

• R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Experiments are of interest to him. This dilutes your intimate life, but he doesn’t really like doing anything risky, because this may imply that you may be seen, or you may be hurt;

• S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He is not very hardy, because thought processes also take away strength, so he lasts for one or two rounds;

• T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Toys brighten up your moments of love, so he has a couple for you;

• U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Ranpo doesn't like it when you tease him, so all your attempts are futile. Even more, he easily turns your teasing against you;

• V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) If you bite him on the earlobe, he’ll most likely make a sound very close to a moan. Ranpo actually takes a lot of effort not to start moaning, especially when you take his cock in your mouth;

• W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) One day he asked you for strawberry syrup. You're a little puzzled by this, since Edogawa doesn't use them because he thinks the syrups overpower the flavor of the dessert. At that moment, you could not have imagined that your body would be his main dessert in the evening;

• X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Pretty wide dick, about 5.91″ with a slight curve to the right towards the middle. The head is of medium size, there is a small protruding wreath along the length;

• Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Average. Edogawa is not particularly interested in intimacy, but it cannot be said that, in principle, nothing in sex does not cling to him;

• Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Very fast. It doesn't matter how tired he is. Rampo just doesn't want to wake you up if you go to sleep before he does. He can't stop himself from stroking your face or brushing your hair out of your eyes, so he tries to fall asleep long before the idea comes into his head.

#My writing #bsd #bsd headcanons #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd smut #ranpo edogawa #ranpo headcanons #bsd edogawa rampo #Smut

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standfucker · 2 years ago

Text

Kid Wants to Watch

Characters: Eustass Kid

Reader: AFAB, no pronouns

Word Count: 3.3k

CW: Explicit N.SFW content, PWP, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, toys, vaginal penetration, light praise and dirty talk, pet names (baby), Kid being soft

Summary: Kid wants to watch you touch yourself. You decide to indulge him despite your initial reservations.

Ao3 Link

“I dunno, Kid,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck. “It would be embarrassing.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Kid said. “I just don’t see why it bothers you? We’ve fucked plenty of times.”

“It’s not the same,” you said, looking sheepish before you continued. “I… To be honest, Kid, I don’t like being watched. I haven’t told you this before, but I… I already find it hard to be naked in front of you.”

That caught Kid off guard. He thought back to your previous trysts, how you had initially been hesitant and even a bit guarded, how he had to work to get you to let go a little. He had figured you were just shy–it never dawned on him you had an issue with your body image.

“Is that why you prefer it from behind?” Kid asked.

“Pretty much,” you admitted, making him frown.

“You know I think you’re hot, right?” Kid rested his flesh hand on your thigh, squeezing lightly for emphasis.

The stunned look you gave him told him you did clearly not, and he ignored the ache in his chest as a result. Had he really never made that obvious to you? He made the mental note to do better. There was no reason his partner should feel anything less than perfect.

You fidgeted, and Kid knew you well enough to know that your face was probably heating up–though he couldn’t tell if it was bashfulness or lust.

“Well,” you said, playing with your fingers nervously, “if you really think so, I could try it. But I don’t know if I’d be able to focus, you know? I might not be able to… Get there.”

Kid tried not to show the surge of excitement he felt. “Even if you couldn’t, that’s fine. And you could stop whenever you wanted, just like always. Not that you have to do this at all! There’s no point if you’d hate it.”

Your eyes slid upward in contemplation. Voyeurism was far from something you were into, but you did not miss the way Kid leaned closer when you considered his proposal, nor the glimmer in his eyes. Despite his harsh exterior, and despite how you had butted heads in the past when you were still getting to know each other, once you started dating, his demeanor changed noticeably. He had a tender aspect to him underneath it all, though he didn’t show it as often around the rest of the crew (Killer aside–Kid had no problem doing things like pushing you against the wall and kissing your neck while Killer was around, which had been slightly mortifying at first.) He was gentler with you, even soft at times. And while he would never expect sexual favors as a result of treating you well (though he did not mind pretending to do so in bed,) you kind of wanted to indulge him.

You spent the next few days thinking it over, and approached him with your decision not long after that. There was only one rule he had to follow if he wanted to watch.

“I…” You started, avoiding eye contact, “I usually… Read, to get in the mood. There’s this book… A-Anyway, no matter what, you can’t look at it. Okay? That’s all I ask.”

Kid eagerly agreed, not really giving a damn about a book when the prospect of fulfilling a fantasy of his was so near.

At least, he didn’t think he would care.

Now, with you lying naked on the bed, one hand holding the book you read from while you idly ran your thumb over the buttons of your vibrator with the other, he was starting to get curious. There was no image on the cover, though the title’s font was large enough for him to see from his perch on the foot of the bed–’Fever Pitch’–obviously some trashy romance novel. Without much else to go off of, though, he had no idea just what kind of content was written within. Was it straightforward, vanilla sex, or were you indulging in dirtier fantasies? Alas, he had to honor the agreement.

At first, you had glanced at him often, visibly self-conscious. After reading for a bit, though, you started to relax. You must have gotten to a good point, because he was starting to notice the subtle signs of your excitement: The dilation of your pupils, the way your lips parted slightly, the intense focus on the pages. The look in your eye was the same as when he had fucked you in the past, and it was enough to make him hard.

You rested the vibrator between your legs, settling it against your clit but not turning it on. It was a short wand-style device, less than 8 inches in length, the gently curved end indicating it was meant for both internal use as well as external. He wondered, with a spike of heat in his gut, if you would penetrate yourself with it.

You left the vibrator as is, abandoning it to instead bring your hand to your chest, and you groped and massaged a breast with a sigh before starting to rub your nipple. The smallest noise slipped out of you then, a faint whine that made Kid throb. He had expected as much, having long since figured out you liked being touched there, but seeing your response never got old. He quickly unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. The sound of the zipper made you look up, and at the sight of his heavy length in his palm, a visible shiver ran through your body. Kid tried not to groan.

“Don’t worry about me, babe. This is okay, right?” He asked breathily.

“Y-Yeah, it’s fine,” you said, voice higher than usual in your arousal. If you hadn’t committed to letting him watch, you would have shamelessly asked to suck him off. It did more for you than masturbating ever could. The way you looked at his cock probably made that evident, the hunger in your gaze enough to make Kid reconsider as well. With reluctance, you looked away, turning back to the book.

You switched between your nipples, rubbing and gently pinching one and then the other, breath picking up. It must not have been enough, because after a minute, you stuck the top edge of the open book under the pillow to keep it propped open, and, with both hands now free, played with both nipples at the same time. Another whine slipped out, and you pushed your head back into the bed, biting your lip in an attempt to suppress your noises. It didn’t really work, which was fine by Kid; the strained little sounds of pleasure were enough to make him leak, pre-cum beading at the tip of his cock.

Kid started pumping himself slowly, taking in the sounds, the arch of your back, how your thighs pressed together around the toy. This was exactly what he had wanted to see, and he reminded himself to thank you properly later. Almost as pleasing as the sight was the thought that, despite what you had said, you were comfortable enough with him to be enjoying yourself.

You reached down with a hand, fumbling for a moment with the vibrator’s handle before finding the right button, and clicked it a few times until it was at a good intensity. Then you pressed your legs together to hold it in place and brought your hand back to your breasts to keep teasing your nipples.

“Fuck,” you cursed softly, eyes closing for a moment as your breathing picked up. The three points of stimulation were good, of course, but it was more teasing than anything else–the pressure from the vibrator was too light, so you couldn’t really build up to anything substantial without physically pressing it against you. At times like these, you wished you had an extra hand to manipulate the toy while you played with your breasts. The thought of asking Kid crossed your mind. You were sure he’d agree, though it may not have felt as good in practice, since he wasn’t you, he wouldn’t know exactly how you liked using it. And this was supposed to be him watching, not participating. Maybe you could try it another time. Kid was a surprisingly good listener; with a bit of direction, he would probably figure you out, just like he had in the past. You had never been that honest with what you wanted in bed, but he had always taken the time to open you up, figuratively and literally.

The thoughts took you out of your headspace somewhat, so you turned back at the book, scanning over a favorite passage of yours, one that never failed to heat you up. Imagining yourself taking the place of the protagonist, you reached down to your vibrator again, clicking the intensity a little higher. This time, you left your hand on it, pressing it snugly against your clit with a whimper.

Kid could now hear the buzzing of the vibrator, and the sight of you slightly bucking your hips made him do the same, thrusting into his hand and groaning. You looked and sounded so fucking good like that, legs trembling, eyes flicking back and forth over the book, desperation audible in every sound that left your throat. A masterpiece, for his eyes only. He only wished he could watch you every night.

One hand gently grinding the vibrator against your clit, the other still tweaking a nipple, you felt electricity build between your legs like static on a dry day, fuzzy and sparking. Initially, it built slowly, but then the wet smacking of Kid stroking himself became apparent, and it surged faster, carrying you toward the edge.

You peeked at him. He was jacking off faster than before, at a similar pace to yourself, the glistening skin of his cock indicating the pre-cum smeared all over as much as the noise. Between the flushed red tip of him, still leaking, and the flex of the bulging muscles in his massive arm, you suddenly did not think you needed the book any longer. You threw your head back into the pillow, moaning airily as you climbed higher and higher, able to make it to the end with the sight and sound of him alone. Was this why he wanted to watch? You now understood the appeal.

Now that you stopped paying attention to the book, Kid spoke, voice ragged with lust. “Feeling good, huh, baby? You look amazing. Sound amazing. So fucking hot, I could watch you all night... I bet you’re soaking right now, aren’t you?”

You keened a broken affirmative, and his low chuckle jolted through you like lightning.

“That’s what I thought. Keep going–be a good little slut for me and don’t stop until you cum.”

The words made you dizzy with need, and you urgently clicked the vibrator up another level. You never penetrated yourself with the toy, only really needing your clit stimulated and not caring much for internal vibrations in the first place. The vibrator wasn’t big enough to satisfy you anyway. As you braced your legs against the bed to buck harder, though, you thought about who was. Close to the edge, in your heated, desperate state, clenching greedily around nothing, you suddenly longed for it. You could climax as it was if you kept going, but it would feel so much better with him, and you frankly no longer cared if that meant he didn’t get to watch you bring yourself to the peak.

“Kid,” you moaned.

He tightened his grip, throbbing at the sound. “Yes, baby?”

“Please, Kid, please fuck me. I need it so bad, I–!”

You didn’t have to ask twice, Kid all but pouncing forward before you could finish your plea. He hovered over your form, dwarfing you with his huge body, arms caging you in as he gazed down at you hungrily. He only took a moment to commit the yearning on your face to memory, not intending on keeping you waiting, before he lined himself up with your cunt. He kissed you briefly, open-mouthed and hot, lightly biting your lower lip to make you whine.

For a second, you glanced at the book worriedly, its contents now visible to him. Kid followed your line of sight, then reached for it, but he only closed it and placed it on the bedside table so it was out of the way before turning his attention back to you.

“Here it comes,” he murmured, and then pushed his hips forward.

Kid always savored this moment, the slow parting of your lower lips, the heat that enveloped his cock as he breached you, the near-constricting tightness of your insides. Both of you gasped at once, your free hand coming to grip his bicep. Even as wet as you were, there was some friction from the sheer size of him, and your eyes rolled back.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, back arching. “So big.”

If there was one thing Kid especially loved about you, it was the way you acted like every time was the first time. He couldn’t help a smirk, even as the snug warmth threatened to overwhelm him. He didn’t stop until he physically couldn’t go any further, cockhead pressed against your cervix. He was long enough that a few inches were still left outside, but you took the majority like a champ, as always.

“There you go–mm!” Kid’s praise broke as you clenched around him. “Fuck, baby, you take it so well…”

Kid pulled out a little before sinking back in, starting up an easy pace that had both of you moaning unabashedly, each affected by the sound of the other. He filled you out perfectly, effortlessly sliding against your g-spot with each pass without even trying due to size alone. Combined with the vibrator rumbling against your clit, it was almost too much. Almost. Your eyes glazed over, jaw slack, every nerve on fire as you succumbed to the throes of raw pleasure.

“Kid!” You cried out. “Oh, Kid! I can’t–I can’t last, it's, it feels so good! I…!”

“Don’t hold back,” Kid panted. “Go ahead. Cum on my cock. I won’t stop until you do.”

Easier said than done with how you were gripping him now, tightening up in rhythm with his thrusts, but he would hold out. He would do anything right then to see you finish, and if all it took was a little patience, even he could manage.

Your fingers dug into his arm, hips rolling to meet his, moans pitching a little higher. Kid lowered his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth, and once he started to suck, it didn’t take much longer. Your moans went from high-pitched to almost inaudible in your breathlessness, a tell-tale sign that you were on the edge. He thrusted harder, snapping his hips forward, struggling to hold back with his own release teetering so close.

For a minute, there was nothing but the mindless, carnal satisfaction of riding that edge, Kid switching to your other nipple as he fucked you good and deep. You went from gripping his bicep to gripping his hair, pulling at the roots, and he moaned against your breast. The slight vibration, though small in the grand scheme of things, was enough to crest the wave, and your breath hitched as your orgasm crashed over you.

“Ah!” Kid gasped at the powerful contractions of your walls, his hands sliding to your hips to grab hold before he was pounding you into the mattress, drawing out your climax while racing to his own. “Fuck, fuck, Y/n!”

You barely heard him, drowned out by the ecstasy radiating out from the point where you were connected, pulsing in time with your heart. Kid’s grip on your hips became painful, his pace stuttering until he sheathed himself entirely with a penultimate moan, going still as his release spurted inside you.

As soon as your orgasm began to die down, the vibrations against your clit became rapidly overwhelming, and you quickly shut off the toy. You set it down by your side, closing your eyes and catching your breath, then opened them to look at Kid. He was watching you fondly, a small smile on his lips.

“We should use that vibrator more often. You came really hard,” he remarked. “Or was it the book?”

“It was your dick,” you stated bluntly, making him laugh.

“I’m serious.”

“Me too, buddy.”

Kid huffed and leaned down to kiss you, relishing in how your eyelids fluttered closed in turn. He pulled out with a grunt of oversensitivity, making you wince from the same, and kissed you again in apology.

Collapsing at your side, Kid wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close, pressing a kiss to your head before resting his chin there. Your sigh was one of complete and thorough contentment, settling in and feeling utterly safe against the bulk of his body.

“I gotta say,” Kid said after a minute, “I do wonder what’s in that book that got you so wet.”

You buried your face into his chest, voice somewhat muffled. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re not helping my curiosity at all,” Kid teased.

For a moment, you didn’t say anything. Then you lifted your chin to meet his gaze, looking shy despite having just had your guts rearranged a minute ago. “...Maybe it’s just because my clit is still throbbing, but… I dunno, that was so good… Maybe I’ll let you read it sometime.”

Kid’s brows shot up in surprise, but you put a finger to his lips before he could respond. “You would have to promise not to make fun of me! If you laughed even once, I would… I would…”

“Break up with me?” He offered, lips tickling your finger.

“Yes,” you said.

Kid closed his mouth around your finger and sucked on it, tongue curling around the digit.

“No,” you sighed, instantly placated.

He released your finger with a laugh, and you giggled as well.

“Don’t feel obligated,” Kid said, “after all, that’s a whole can of worms you’d be opening that you might not be ready for.”

“What do you mean?”

Kid gave you a look, one that your body responded to immediately, already feeling like you could go a second round. His voice dropped low, soft and seductive. “Me, knowing your kinks in intimate detail? Are you really sure you could handle that?”

A shiver ran down your spine. When he put it that way, it was harder to be apprehensive about the idea. And agreeing to let him watch had gone far better than you expected. Maybe letting him take a peek at the book would also turn out similarly well…

You grinned. “I can handle anything you give me, big boy.”

“Famous last words,” Kid said smugly, “don’t look so confident.”

Unable to change your expression, you opted to shove your face back into his chest instead. For all his talk, there was no way Kid would ever push your limits without asking. It was one of those hidden, unexpected things about him that only made you fall further. The thought brought a wave of affection through your chest, warming you from the inside as much as his embrace warmed you from the outside.

“I love you,” you mumbled into his chest, and the tightening of his arms around you indicated that he had heard it.

“Me too,” Kid rested his chin on your head once more. “Love you lots, Y/n. I won’t make fun of you. Much.”

“Jerk,” you said without any venom.

“Yeah, I am. But you love it.”

And you smiled, because you did.

#one piece x reader #one piece imagines #eustass kid x reader #one piece smut #reader insert #eustass kid #zen writes #I got rejected for the zine so I'm having doubts about my abilities... given all that I would love to know if you liked this piece #comments and reblogs are everything #anyway thanks in advance

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pixlpxie · 5 months ago

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Heyy, did a quick compatibility reading for you and Yunho, like i did for me & Mingi lol. But briefly my Mingi reading gave me the vibes of “I know we’re not dating, but i don’t want you with anyone else but me 🥺 Also i can be with whoever i want.” like sir... Also he’s respectful and open minded during sex and very experimental like you also mentioned. ANYWAYS

Yunho likes being with you because you bring out the dominant or masculine side of him. The parts of him that wants to care for, guide, and be emotional support for someone comes out easy with you. And you’re right, the good moments are REALLY good. Your emotional compatibility is great. Mental compatibility is great. Those aspects are pretty harmonious.

Now, there is a problem with throwing blame at each other, not taking accountability, judging too harshly. Seems like one of you may get caught talking ill about the other. The communication is whaack. During an argument, both of yall are trying to be the biggest smartass. 😭 Yunho is giving very snappy vibes like he wants his words to cut deep. BUT while trails and tribulations are bad, when/ if you get to the other side it’s real good. When it gets bad you’d learn each time how to navigate it better, but you would have to make use the lessons that you learned or else 👎.

Physically: Yall not matching each others freak. You will have to hold back to your true desires or feel like you have to in fear of being judged to harshly. So it’s not like sex would be bad, it’s actually pretty hot, pretty passionate. Just playing too safe and leaves you yearning for more. Yunho would be confident in yalls sex life and his skills, so he isn’t really asking. He’s taking over. 100% a dom. Like literally every card is pointing towards dom Yunho LMAOO 💀

omg thank you so much for reading mine and taking your time with it i appreciate it so much ily 🥺😭💓💓💓💓

Pls i wanna believe we match each others freaks if we are not compatible i might die 😭 its interesting tho our readings for the same question are quite different like the relationship is similar but the physical part is so different (thats also why i love to read others opinions) so i might do another reading🏃🏻‍♂️ i just wanna trust our astro charts 😔 but i mean i do feel like with him it would never be an 100% easy going relationship at least in the beginning or its just me making shit up who knows 💀

I just know we can match each other we have to we must 👹👹👹that bitch is mine

#ateez #yunho #jeong yunho #pixlpxie asks

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greater-than-the-sword · 1 year ago

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hi! I always find your takes on things really interesting and mentally stimulating, so I'd love to know your opinion on this one: recently I came across the take (from some generally very conservative and reliable Christian theologians/bible teachers, not reddit crackpots or anything like that) that the concept of "friendship" is not biblical, but that the only really biblical structures for human relationships are within a family context, specifically marriage and siblinghood. (now, a caveat: the people discussing this were doing so within the context of a greater conversation about some odd things that have happened within the side-b movement, but I still think that's a pretty extreme claim to make at any rate?) would you have an opinion that you'd like to share about this? personally I think it's a little weird and extreme to denounce friendship as a whole amongst Christians.

Sorry I got caught up in watching this video. I consider the 3 people in it to be very decent sources, indeed, though I'm much less familiar with Christopher Yuan. I had planned to read his book but haven't read it yet.

Mrs. Butterfield has a very interesting perspective on SSA issues given her background. I don't necessarily agree with her on everything, she has a few strange takes, for example she also espouses a view on "exclusive psalmnody", that is, claiming that Christians shouldn't sing hymns or other christian music, but ONLY the psalms because they are in the Bible.

Ironically, she HAS written a lot of stuff on the need for closer Christian community and relationships, so it may be that she is here attempting to "balance" this stuff or something.

So... looking at this video they start off addressing not "friendship" as such but a very specific concept called "spiritual friendship", which is a terminology used by specific groups. Now, I hope these guys are misunderstanding what's going on here because I would love to believe the best of the folks who are a part of this movement. But what they're attacking is actually this idea promoted by an organization called ReVoice that it's a good idea for SSA people to form these "covenental" relationships with a person they're already same-sex attracted to. He also mentions that the book says some people in these relationships "embrace non-sexual romance". It's also been described by some as a "sexless marriage".

Before I get into it one other thing I like about the video is that Rosaria makes a really great point about Gnosticism and "secret knowledge". The idea that there need be this new terminology or "neologisms" and concepts whose spiritual meanings are known only to the initiated and that they can only be understood because by those who have unique personal experience is a very gnostic idea.

And one thing Christopher Yuan is very correct about is that from this (Side B) movement there is a great deal of messaging ambiguity, which is a major complaint of mine as well about that movement.

Then they get on to this part of the video where it's discussed how some people think intersex conditions existed prior to the fall, which is a bizarre claim on its surface since these people are frequently very sick from their condition, as well as obviously the "He created them male and female" line. But that's not as relevant to your concerns.

But I understand why you feel concerned about aspects of the video & the messaging.

That's because isolated from the context of SSA, none of the things mentioned are actually bad things to do with your friends. Cuddling. Celebrating important dates. Even living together, or in communal settings (as much as they dunk on it because it's inspired by the monasteries) or moving from place to place together. So when does this become unhealthy? I don't wanna give an "I know it when I see it" answer but. I think it's when a person has a temptation and they're not fleeing that temptation, instead they're trying to see how close they can get without going over.

So like yes. Individuals called to celibacy can struggle with community and need to form strong communities, and I feel like it's adding to the Bible to arbitrarily condemn the forms this takes. (That is, to condemn communal living would be adding to the Bible.) Again I feel like also this conversation is missing an honest look at pre-20th century norms which might include unrelated adults called "Uncles" or "Aunts" living with a family (surprising number of cases of unrelated household members getting, "adopted" as it were or at least that's my impression). None of this stuff should be considered intrinsically related to sexuality in my opinion. By contrast, the concept of "romance" is intrinsically related to sexuality.

(As an aside, Yuan totally butchered the term "bromance" - this is an older term that actually has nothing to do with homosexuality, it's an ironic/humorous term for an emotional or close friendship. It's fallen out of general use now because people take the idea of friendships becoming gay too seriously and therefore the ironic intent is lost.)

Then later Rosaria Butterfield gets to the part about excessive androgen production in people with XX chromosomes, and her response to this is, "Or maybe the fall just caused us to desire things that God hates". My response to this is really, "does she even know what the word intersex means"?

To me those last two points contribute to my general sense that the commentators are willing to speak without fully knowing what they're talking about.

Back on the topic of "friendship", you have to realize that even if all Christian relationships ARE to be defined in a family context, we ARE family. All Christians are brothers and sisters. So I don't see that as limiting. [maybe this is the closest thing to an answer to your original question]

Personally my views are marked by the fact that I do NOT see a smooth continuum between "friendship" and "romance", as it is not a matter of degree but of nature. That's why I say "I know it when I see it." SSA creeping into a friendship will corrupt its nature in a way that any degree of closeness will not. I don't see any way of policing this by policing people's actions. It is not an external sin, it is a sin of the heart.

However, you can often realize people's intentions based on the words that they speak. I would urge people to distinguish their conception of close friendships from this terminology related to sexuality, marriage, or romance.

#christianity #side b #side x #friendship #asks #note.#they confessed to not understanding the line about 'disability theologians'#but i know what that was referring to #and its worse than they think #the book they were critiquing is saying that some disabilities would have existed pre-fall #as in #like blindness #because it's an identity characteristic #therefore it would be 'offensive'#to call it a result of the fall #which i strongly disagree with obviously bc its antibiblical

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moonyasnow · 2 months ago

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Additional thoughts about that Oiran!Irina AU

bc I know way too much about the lives of women in the red light districts of the Edo period of Japanese history (and I'm also close to falling asleep and that seems to be when all the motivation and good ideas come)

[ original post here. Would have just reblogged it with this new stuff but I'm about to go to bed and only have my phone and wrote this in drafts before I had that idea ]

First thing's first, I wanna educate some people bc this is a genuinely super fascinating topic to me:

Patrons were basically always LONG-TERM— at least if you were a courtesan and not the kind of sex-worker who was hired for one-time things

Because it wasn't only the obvious aspect that the men who were with courtesans were paying for; it was also basically a 'relationship' experience. They payed not only to sleep with the courtesan— and that usually didn't happen until at LEAST the 3d date— but also to come and basically have dates with them, spend time with them, flirt and stuff, and for them to listen to your troubles. It was also assumed to be monogamous— at least for the Patron. The courtesan was, of course, a courtesan, so it was literally her job to be with multiple people. But the Patron was only allowed to be seeing one courtesan at a time

And back to what I wanted to say

There was a thing where, a courtesan cutting off a lock of her hair to give to one of her patrons was seen as 'proof' of her love, since the hair was considered very valuable to a courtesan and to her beauty. (Some courtesans even payed someone to get a lock of hair from just— wherever, and pretended it was their own)

And I started thinking about Malleus, slightly misunderstanding the intricate, unwritten social rules of this whole thing— it was typically only the courtesan who did it— only seeing the 'a lock of your hair is a proof of love' part, and one day he cuts off a lock of his own hair and gives it to her, saying something about her now always having something to remind her of him, even when they can't always be near each other.

And, there was also a more extreme version of the hair thing, which involved the courtesan cutting off her pinky finger to give to her patron. This was most likely faked most of the time though, and it was more about the intent of it if I remember correctly— so it was normal, and actually expected, for a courtesan to make a big deal about how she was going to do it, maybe even taking out a knife, and the patron stopping her right before she actually did it.

And Irina, having grown up in this world* (I'll explain this more at the end of the post bc I caught myself infodumping again) has kinda come to romanticize this.

So I imagine that she actually tells him that she'll give him her pinky finger— just because she'd have grown up with that being what was expected to do to show your devotion to someone— but instead of the response she expected he looks really sad. And he kisses her fingers and tells her that he would never want her to hurt herself for his sake, and that it broke his heart to hear she would even think of doing something like that to herself. And also that it will always be infinitely more beautiful still attached to her.

Irina, having grown up with all these weird social rules (that were ONLY 'the norm' in the red light districts— and most of the really out-there stuff more in Yoshiwara) and— she, at least, given her mental state— seeing them as the norm, as 'just what one does' felt a bit confused by his actions.

She's the kind of person who would genuinely buy into the 'proof of love' stuff, especially if it was just a thing in the culture she grew up in, so she sees it for exactly the gesture he meant it as. And she's never been the one who had someone wanting to show proof of their love to her.

So it kinda made her go

Irina ended up cutting a big lock of her own hair to give to him, as well— not bc it was expected of her, but because of his own sentiment, of having something of the others for when they missed each other

Oh oh also—

A thing that could add angst in this AU is that, in general, a courtesan wasn't actually allowed to fall in love, even with one of her own patrons, bc it might risk her wanting to run away with that person or refusing to see her other patrons entirely. A courtesan's job was to pretend to be in love, but never actually be in love

But maybe one day she'd lament how she wished she could be with only him

And then Malleus says he'll just double whatever the combined sum all her other patrons are paying is so it wouldn't be something her Madame could complain about

Irina, probably not realizing he's actually being 100% serious, would say it would be nice if he could

Then the literal next day she finds out he actually fckn did it

*Women who went on to become high-rank courtesans were almost always purchased by brothels from starving or sick or indebted or otherwise not well off families when they were still very young, between the ages of 5-9. At first they were made basically the 'little sister' of a woman who was already a courtesan. So the girl's big sister would care for her, feed her, clothe her, etc. And the girl would basically be her way of communicating with people. Because a courtesan couldn't just DIRECTLY go up to a patron she liked and ask him to spend more time with her bc of a bunch of those aforementioned unwritten social rules. So instead, the little sister would find him and ask him to come see her big sister.

They also did things like run errands, accept gifts on their big sister's behalf, and tell their sister about any news or gossip they heard

Courtesans usually had one or two little sisters. And I don't remember exactly when, but at some point, if one of them showed promise in music or some other art, was particularly pretty, and socially skilled, she began to be considered a courtesan-in-training herself, until she was considered old enough to become a fully-fledged courtesan (which was usually still very young by today's standards— I've heard around 14-15 was a common age— though I could be wrong, it's been a lil while)

#mallina 🐉x🐰#🐰irina #moony's ocs #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #oiran!au

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battyaboutbooksreviews · 9 months ago

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🦇 Perfect on Paper Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What's the best advice you've ever received or given? ❓ 🦇 High school junior Darcy Phillips has a secret identity as the relationship advice expert behind Locker 89. Leave a letter along with $10 and she'll provide the perfect solution to your relationship woes. So far, she hasn't been caught...that is, until Alexander Brougham catches her collecting letters. He'll keep her secret...if she can fix his relationship post-break-up, that is. Can Darcy help Brougham win his girlfriend back (without strangling the entitled, rich, yummy-Australian-accent-slinging swimmer) in the process?

💜 Perfect on Paper was nominated for a Goodreads Choice Award (Best Young Adult Fiction - 2021) and it's no wonder. This was the exact book bisexual baby me needed a decade ago. Though I've read a multitude of books featuring bisexual FMCs, Sophie Gonzales is the first to capture the authenticity of internalized biphobia. I'll admit I was sheltered enough that it took me a while to realize bi was even an option for me. Bisexual erasure didn't help; once I self-identified, I was given the oh-so-cliche, "that's not real," and "it's just a phase." Bitch, I'm a moon goddess; I'm in a new phase every day of my life. ANYWAY. Darcy is authentic in her concern that a crush over a guy invalidates her bi-ness. The Queer & Questioning Club scene where Darcy's community validates her was everything (and truly got me misty-eyed).

💜 The advice column aspect of the story was brilliant. Darcy's letters are written in a tone that's patient and empathetic yet informative and encouraging. She'd obviously done her research and it shows, but you see her mentally unravel the moment there's personal bias and it's BEAUTIFUL. Darcy isn't perfect. She's a high schooler, still figuring herself out. Yes, she's flawed, but she's also self-aware, willing to grow and change and take her own advice (or the advice she gets from her AMAZING trans big sister, who I adored).

💜 While this is a queer YA romance, there are so many layers beyond that. There's a mixed bag of diversity and personal trauma (and with that, potential for growth) to explore.

💙 The story DID take a minute to pick up speed, so the beginning left me waiting for a catalyst for momentum. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm no a fan of the miscommunication trope. HOWEVER, it does fit here, and proves how easily a tiny moment of misunderstanding can completely alter the course of a friendship. I did have to put the book down at one point, when Darcy's best friend outs her (I was super frustrated on Darcy's behalf because that betrayal was intense). I was disappointed that no one stepped forward and THANKED Darcy for her advice when she was getting attacked as the person behind Locker 89. People were upset BEFORE their letters were taken, but no one thanked Darcy until LONG after the situation cooled. Given Darcy's self-proclaimed success rate (was there a mention of HOW she knew she was successful, beyond the lack of refunds?), I expected a lot more praise for her abilities beyond one person.

🦇 Recommended to fans of Leah on the Offbeat and Imogen, Obviously, with a hint of To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Netflix's Sex Education.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 💌 Bisexual FMC (w/ Internalized Biphobia) 💌 Queer Young Adult Rom-Com 💌 Lots of Rep 💌 Hate-to-Love 💌 Friends to Lovers 💌 POC Sapphic Side Ship

💬 Quotes ❝ "Do you think there’s a chance that [...] you’re intellectualizing things so you don’t have to, you know, feel them?" ❞ ❝ I was sitting in the space between a sound and its echo. Brougham had asked a question, and I had to answer it. It was that, or keep dreaming about love, and working toward helping others find it, while never letting myself risk it. ❞ ❝ In some ways, we mirrored each other. We shared cracks in complementary places. ❞ ❝ Bi people are part of the queer community, and their identity does not change depending on who, if anyone, they happen to have feelings for or date at any given moment. ❞

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afreakingdork · 1 year ago

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Weak Spot - Chapter 23

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Intercrural Sex

Synopsis: A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

BIG thanks to @darneggs for helping me crack the once twice shoot aspect of this chapter!

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

Two days in a row didn’t seem fair.

Why even wake up if there was no pressing need?

It seemed like a wasteful mechanic of the human body.

Resisting the urge to groan, you wanted to fall right back into sleep’s embrace.

That was until you realized you were already wrapped up in another’s.

Eyes snapping open, but before you could look down, you felt the terrible shape your body was in. The old layer of dried sweat commingled grossly with overnight oil production. There were also the telltale textures of other fluids crusted up in various areas that you weren’t examine further. Stilling on that alone, you stared across the room to where Donnie’s side of the bed lay empty. You had a clear view of where those gauzy outer curtains sat studiously over the blackouts in the apartment.

Speaking of, he was off his game.

He usually took care of things like this; things like you.

Wait.

That didn’t seem right.

It wasn’t his job to clean you up.

Frowning to yourself and making a mental note, you finally tipped your head down.

Around your torso in a tight wrap were Donnie’s arms.

It was far too early for the skipping of your heartbeat.

Trying to control the thump, you slid your head back on the pillow in a careful rotation. You could barely see him over your shoulder, but what you saw destroyed any moderation you’d attempted on your pulse: your boyfriend was glued to you in every sense. At some point he had slid you up his body to where he could bury his face directly into the spot between your shoulder blades. It tucked his head down into his arms in a move that you were sure would leave him with knots. From there his body pressed the length of yours where his legs were threatening to spill over. You couldn’t rightly sit up enough to see, but you could feel one of his knees kicked up over your calf and then tipped back where his foot was surely tucked under his other leg.

His unabashed posing and utter stillness said he was still asleep.

With your arms free from where they were laying bent and unobstructed, you reeled them in. Successful in that your boyfriend hadn’t moved, you skimmed your fingers over his wrist to where his black wraps started. You barely got more than a few inches when a light noise came from him. It sounded exceedingly affectionate and he released a hand from where it locked on his other arm. In an expert turn, he caught a hold of your appendage and thread your fingers in the way you had learned the evening before. Keeping your digits extended to savor the moment, you smiled as he mirrored you. Another contented sound came from him as he somehow pulled you closer with a little nuzzle to your back. It cropped up a field of goose bumps and caused your fingers to curl. His digits quickly followed and a little breathy chuckle came from you as he then pulled the held duo of you both until it was over your heart.

“Donnie…” His name came out with a tinge of surprise.

He was being so openly affectionate, you could hardly stand it.

Apparently neither could he as his body suddenly went taut.

Wondering why, you heard a single puff of air that you curiously didn’t feel on your skin.

In a flash you were alone in bed and chased your ghost to find Donnie off near a closet with wide eyes. A fisted hand was to his lips as he seemingly grappled with waking existence. Sitting up and feeling the flaking bits of dried cum crumbling from between your thighs you refused the grimace to call out to him.

“Hey…”

His eyes snapped to you even though his body stayed turned toward a wall. You watched as his eyes moved purposefully. You could almost picture the digital display in his brain taking notes as he moved from your face to your shoulder before trekking down to your legs. From there he scanned down to the sheets until he was back to the corner he’d trapped himself in.

Twisting to get your limbs off the bed to go after him, he beat you in motion.

“Donnie!” Your feet hit the ground as he emerged from the bathroom with a bottle and supplies.

You could hear rancid curses mumbling off his lips as he knelt in front of you.

“Hello!”

He shot you a sharp look that said not to bother before he uncapped the bottle and turned it over onto a cotton ball. Once thoroughly soaked he brought it up and paused as you leaned away as it came close. He gave you a stern look before snapping his head toward the kitchen. He saw something there that had him clicking his teeth before he returned with a vexed aura. “I’m going to start you on a round of antibiotics. This will burn.”

“You’re going to-AH!” The cotton hit the bite on your shoulder and bloomed with searing pain. The memory of the two chomps flooded your mind and the only thing that could kept you from jumping away was digging your nails into the first surface you could get your hands on: his clavicle.

“I apologize. This should have in no way been left.” His perturbance lie elsewhere as he went on to keep dabbing which, in turn, caused more pain.

“You-” Seething through your teeth, you tried to manage a glare before hanging your head.

“Not to mention the UTI risk…” His voice was near lethal.

You tried and failed to piece together the source of his tone as fizzing came from your injury in panned stereo.

“I need-” He growled as he fumbled through what he had inn hand which to your wince looked like mostly white shapes. “-butterfly closures for the canine punctures at the least. Damnit!” He turned towards the living room.”S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!”

Was the little bot here?

He usually excused himself from these sorts of trysts.

You knew he was wired into all the apartments, but it almost seemed as if he ‘lived’ elsewhere.

In that sense, you had no idea where ‘he’ was.

Tracing Donnie’s gaze, you watched his computer light up.

Text appeared that you couldn’t read and Donnie’s attitude seemed to rot all the more.

“What’s wrong?” You were proud of the sentence you managed as only phantom burning had settled into your trapezius.

“Those supplies aren’t here. They’re at apartment three.” Donnie responded absently before turning back to you with a minute amount of horror on his face. “I need my glasses.”

“Donnie, wait-” You tried to raise a hand but it seemed to only help him to vanish. “Donatello!”

Out of the corner of your eye the sofa lifted clean off the ground. “Where are they!?”

“They’re-”

“I don’t misplace things. I don’t forget to dress wounds. I know the dangers all too well.” He simply dropped the couch and the large thud it made had you cringing to think of the poor downstairs neighbors.

“Don-”

“And not having supplies on hand!” He disappeared around the partition towards the door. “The inventory list should otherwise be flawless and yet-!!”

You slapped your hands to your face to stifle a scream, but stopped in favor to glower over the tips of your fingers as they dragged down. When your appendages fell away, you felt only icy hot rage. “Donatello, if you don’t get your ass back over here this instant. I’m leaving.”

The sound abruptly stopped.

“I mean it.”

He came around the corner wary.

You set your glare to its highest setting and he approached carefully.

He then sat on the edge of the bed and grimaced at whatever dried fluid he must have perched on.

“I’m going to tell you where your glasses are, but you’re not going to rush to get them. Understand?”

There was protest in his gaze that he extinguished with a single nod.

“You set them on the counter before eating me out in the kitchen. I knocked them into the drying rack of the sink.”

You saw his body bob as it tried to rebel against him, but he sank back down to keep from moving.

“One thing at a time; is S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. on his way?”

“Yes.”

“Okay…” You took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “You get the glasses. I’ll start stripping the bed. We’ll both wash up and finish cleaning the wound. Game?”

He perked up slightly before giving another nod.

You moved to stand and he did the same. He was off to the kitchen in a dash and you yanked the top sheet off without mercy. The stains seeped to the second layer and you made a repulsed face as you moved around to tug free a fitted corner. Donnie appeared at the opposite end and helped. Mercifully it didn’t seem like any fluids breached the mattress cover and you balled the purple cotton to kick it aside. Coming around, Donnie gathered his supplies and met you at the bathroom where you were turning the shower on.

The water had yet to warm up when you saw him out of the corner of your eye. You turned to him and he had a clear plastic sheet in hand. White detailing marked adhesive strips around its edge which you figured made it some sort of wound covering so you offered your shoulder. He applied the sheet and the dip of his gaze said all you needed to know. It had you turning to take hold of his chin. “Look at me.”

He did so with a small exasperated sigh.

You could see the conversations happen before they did.

If you told him it was okay to be off his game, he’d say otherwise.

A fight.

If you explained that everything was alright, he’d point out all the ways it wasn’t.

A fight.

If you tried anything drastic to pull him from his funk, he’d go through all the steps to combat it along the way.

A fight.

You needed to do something that left no room for doubt.

Staring into his eyes, he waited while trying to mask the negative emotions that swirled just below the surface.

He was being especially obedient.

That was odd.

Or was it?

Something in you wasn’t so sure.

“Do you want to shower with me?”

From where his chin was in your hand you felt him rise the smallest degree. He turned the question over and you saw that he wanted to. Those barely clouded feelings then lurched forward and dug their claws into suggestion.

That was a no.

You let him go in favor of testing the water again; it was pleasantly hot.

“I’ll finish cleaning.” He remarked, but hadn’t moved.

The curtain fell as you stepped away from the faucet side to instead enter the shower from the other end. As you made the short trek, you entered Donnie’s space. He looked on as you rose up with clear intention to give him a kiss. He dipped down and allowed you to choose where. You pecked his cheek and left him to get into the shower. The door soon closed after and you gave a little battered sigh.

It felt less like you had let him get his way though you weren’t sure why.

Washing up, you emerged feeling refreshed and swaddled yourself before brushing your teeth. Padding out in a towel afterward, you could hear the sound of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s rotors. He seemed to be hanging back behind the partition purposefully so you grabbed some clothes and got mostly dressed before calling to him.

He emerged with Donnie trailing behind and you greeted the bot fondly.

“I also got meds.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. announced genially before flying to the side.

“Fast and suspicious.” You sent Donnie a curious look.

He had once mentioned something about pharmaceuticals.

Donnie brushed by the look with a bag in hand. The bed was freshly made and you plopped on the end to wait for him. Holding your shirt to your chest instead of having put it on, you tilted your head to the side. Donnie came in and set the supplies behind you and got to work cleaning the wound again. The second time hurt just as much but the quick application of ointments and bandages helped assuage it.

Once he was done, he pinched a little of your shirt and you sensed he wanted to help you put it on. Sending a look to S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. who buzzed out of the room knowingly, you released it into his care. It didn’t really hurt to lift your arms, but you were instead worried about messing up the bandages. Coming out the other side of your shirt dressed, you could tell Donnie was about to say something defeatist so you cut him off.

“I’m going to order food. My pick; delivery. You’re going to shower and then we’re going to pick up where we left off this morning.”

Donnie seemed particularly struck. He was slow to process the information and it caused his head to turn. With a swoop of his pupils back to you he then gave another nod before departing for the bathroom. You waited for the door to click before narrowing your gaze.

It was so odd.

The water started back up.

As much as the man certified himself by logic, it was undeniable that he was ruled by emotion. You didn’t necessarily feel bossy in your orders, but there was a strangeness to giving them. He was clearly receptive, but you weren’t sure in what way. For so long you’d been stuck thinking that one wrong move would result in his absence that you’d unconsciously been walking on eggshells. The only thing propelling you forward was pure crush fueled intoxication, but even that had been shifting recently. It was within that scope where your perspective shifted.

While he’d spoken reassurances and shown his dedication on multiple occasions, it had never sunk in against your own anxieties. Thinking yourself bolstered by your little exertions of control from now and the prior day, you couldn’t find the exact moment you’d lost yourself to him.

Sitting up a little straighter, you examined the line that divided the living room from the bedroom. You couldn’t hear S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. anymore which you figured meant he landed somewhere. He’d come the last time you’d called so you wondered if he was waiting for the same.

You only needed to speak up.

Looking down and pulling at your collar, you examined the little hickeys on you. They were proof of possession and the sheer number of them alone spoke to how intense Donnie’s feelings were. They also said something else that felt like an indication of fear. The obvious thought saw them as a warning to others, but you knew for a fact Donnie had no concern in that department. He’d kept them all easily under the clothes line which meant they were for your and his eyes only. Since he didn’t need to convince you, that left only one possibility left: they were for him.

They seemed like a testament to his own insecurities and if the past week had taught you anything, it was how similar you both were. The sync at which you were both moving was almost alarming. You were still different in a thousand ways, but your concerns aligned in a simpatico way. Thinking back to the day your boss died and how lost you were, it was his rock solid nature that had grounded you. It made sense that in the same way you understood those worries than those soothing measures could be used on him as well. You’d seen he only needed to calm down to open up. You’d long understood the need to wait, but handling the situation had been a mental tizzy.

Now seeing the real time example of what a successful handling looked like, you broke down what you’d done. You hadn’t brought excess attention to his suffering. You knew he trusted you and if you didn’t linger on the problem then by that logic he would have to minimize it as well. From there you’d left no room for question. You’d given simple and concise commands which you’d left open for him to interject if necessary. It had a transactional quality that sort of reminded you of a contract. It brought back memories of the early days with him. You knew he’d negotiate if necessary and that was so very much like him you mentally kicked yourself for not thinking of it sooner.

Getting excited by all these revelations, your heart boiled over which threatened nausea on your empty stomach. Strangely, it gave you a sense of comfort. You weren’t some puppy following him around and instead you had just as much sway in the relationship as him. It brought you to relationship scales where the lengthy balance levied your joy. He’d been acting as the caretaker for so long, you felt guilty. His tongue was sharp, but it was clearly a put on. He needed as much care as any other person did.

He’d never say it, but it must have been hard shouldering the burden alone. It was almost as if he thought that was normal since his complaints had been so few. You wondered if he even realized there was an imbalance. Pulse skipping erratically, you had to make up for it. Your attendance wasn’t relegated to the audience, but instead you had been on stage the whole time; he’d been carrying along while he recited both sets of lines. You’d interjected only when he completely collapsed by usually copying whatever lead he’d left you with. His oddities had never been clearer. Nearly drowning in a concurrent vortex of warm waters of affection and chilled tides of liability, comfort won out solely on the fact that you weren’t just needed but necessary.

Smiling and setting the rest of this aside for therapy, you brought shiny eyes up to look towards the living room. “S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.”

There was an uplifting buzz before his little head poked beyond the corner. “Hmm?”

“You have internet?”

“For sure.” In a zip he flew over to you.

“Wanna help me pick food?”

“Heck yeah!” Turning to the side a purple digital display appeared in the air.

Your jaw dropped and you reached out to touch the hologram.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. scoffed. “He could literally serve you the world on a platter. What the heck is he doing?”

You had a protest on your lips, but simply let your hand fall through the display before looking at the droid. “I…” You thought for a second before softening. “I don’t want the world. I’m fine with both of you.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave an emotional rev before bringing up delivery options. The two of you went back and forth over several places before selecting. He could cycle through all the reviews ion a location n a millisecond and you weighed in a lighthearted argument about how that metric wasn’t always the best indicator. He seemed intrigued by your consensus and, after you picked, you asked him about Donnie’s preferences. Even S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. seemed put off that he had little and referred to it as a ‘transitional period’ in Donnie’s dietary intake. He was surprisingly dodgy when you pressed and you both dropped it when the shower turned off.

Shooting S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. a dramatic look, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. fired off a wrinkled smile line back. The two of you then got in a game of making faces at each other until the door opened. In a slow turn, Donnie appeared through a small billow of steam. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. moved off to the side as Donnie strode across the room towards a dresser. It struck you then he was very much nude save his wraps and bandana. Not one to be embarrassed by something like that, he pulled out a pair of joggers and slipped them on with ease. “What did you select?”

“Persian.”

He nodded and, as he turned, you saw the interior of his glasses show a detailed text window. He then faced you and, from the front, they appeared clear save that faint tinting.

Staring, you spoke to your right. “S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. what was the ETA?”

“They got 22 minutes. Want me to tap and make my own estimation?”

You snapped your head to the drone. “Uh?”

“Huh, what?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. feigned innocence cutely as he looked up to the ceiling while bringing his front rotors down as if bringing his hands together piously.

“Not necessary.” Donnie stepped over with a reserved quality about him.

“Sure, whatever.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. closed his eyes and started to bob side to side.

You strained your attention on him to find the faintest sound of music as if he had headphones on.

Nerves at your split attention flaring, Donnie came so close his bare foot almost touched yours.

“I’m gonna man the door!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. chirped suddenly before flying away.

You stared after him before looking up at Donnie. “Can he get the delivery?”

“New York delivery staff have seen far stranger.”

“Huh…” You scooted back on the bed and felt the way the sheets messed under you. You ignored them to gesture for Donnie to join you on his side.

He rounded the bed with a lowered head and was cautious as he hiked a leg up to get in.

“I won’t bite.” You joked, laying down. “At least not right now.”

The jest seemed to land and made it easier for your boyfriend to lay down. Once settled, you were both on your sides facing one another

“I’m gonna get close.”

He gave a single nod and you shimmied forward. Stopping just shy of his body, you tucked your hands in that space and went to study his face. He watched you carefully, his gaze trained on where your eye moved. You took note of the many trace signs of tension on him before giving him a saddened smile. His brows came together slightly and you broke eye contact to instead trace his plastron.

“You can touch me too.” You hummed softly, running a finger along a line.

It felt less like he wanted to and more that he was trying to follow your lead when he reached up to brush your elbow. You let him be, hoping he’d take his time to explore as you headed up to where you’d dug your nails into him earlier. There wasn’t a single mark on him, but you still pressed the spot with your pads before giving it a little rub as an apology. That spurned Donnie positively and his hand ghosted across the back of your upper arm to communicate that he accepted.

Smiling up at him a little brighter, you saw comprehension bloom as he pieced together your small actions. His grip came around and ran over your shoulder with extended digits. Your lids lowered contentedly, but there was little fight to keep them open with the sight in front of you. Donnie’s guard was dropping by the second and you brushed your fingers along his jaw bone. The tightness melted away and he moved, skirting your wound, to come around your neck. You did a little wiggle that moved you forward about an inch and he pulled you the rest of the way until you were flush with him. It put his face out of your view and you instead leaned up to nuzzle the underside of his chin. His body relaxed around you and you planted a kiss of gratitude to his Adam’s apple.

He pulled away and, for a moment, you wondered if it was too much until he sank down for your noses to nearly touch. Seeing he wanted to watch you again, you placed a small kiss to the tip of his snout which he replied to by catching your lips with his own. The move held no burning desire, but instead comforting reassurance. You turned that into happy pecks that finally brought a smile to his face. He then caught your eye and you sank under the weight of affection there. The thought of confessing your feelings reared for the first time in what felt like years and you felt its validation. The only thing off was the timing. Your ideal was to drop it during a time with no pretense. You wanted it to be the star of the moment and this just barely wasn’t right.

Wondering if that was something else the two of you had in common, you reached up and pressed a hand to the plastron over his heart. His appendage came up to cover yours and in a way you thought was a confirmation. Overwhelmed with love, you sent it through your gaze and his eyes widened by the smallest degree. His lids then hooded before he pulled your hand away. The high was still mounting so you couldn’t yet drop, but a hiccup of confusion caught the ride. He lifted your hand and placed it over the bulb of his shoulder before letting go. You checked in with him and a flick of his pupil told you to look. Lifting your hand to see what was underneath, you found he had placed it over his purple markings.

Looking back to him with tempered surprise, he gave a small nod. Overjoyed, you hoisted up on one elbow to study the skin. It seemed like the top of one rectangle was offset, but attached to another that disappeared under black wraps. The texture was totally smooth which you figured indicated an old tattoo. Against that, the corners were unbelievably sharp making you think it couldn’t possibly be ink. Only sure that regular turtles had nothing of the sort, you wondered what it could be.

Turning your question on the source, you were ready to find Donnie unsettled by your exploration. Instead, his eyes were closed and he seemed at peace with his decision. Nervous you might profess there and then, you dropped down to the bed with a jostling plop. Unperturbed, he simply opened his eyes as if you had returned from looking at something in a store. His casual nature spurned you to kiss him once before you buried into his chest. He seemed amused for whatever reason and closed up around you. It enveloped you in his scent and you couldn’t help but root deeper to take a deep inhale of the clean smell that was still patently him.

“Who’s scenting now?” There was the faintest rumble in his chest before he leaned down and buried his nose into your hair.

“Humans are not immune to musk.” You were sure he wouldn’t be able to make any of it out as you refused to pull away.

He chuffed and palmed comfortably along your spine.

He always cradled you close.

When was his turn?

You wormed back up enough to catch his gaze. “Wanna be the little spoon?”

For a moment he seemed to consider it and then a near simultaneous realization hit both of you.

His shell.

As comfortable as he had gotten, you still had yet to even see it straight on.

You stiffened up and a frown formed. “I didn’t think, I-”

“It’s alright.” The heavy tone to his voice conveyed that it was still off-limits.

“We’re fine like this.” You went to bury yourself back into his plastron, but the pressure of his hand stopped you. “How about you scoot down and I can hold you like that?”

“Turn the other way.”

“But you never-”

“We’re recreating this morning.”

You gave him a look that he returned with a raised brow of wait. You relented, but as you began the rotation, you both had another synchronized epiphany.

Laying the other way would put your injured shoulder to the bed.

“Oh, will that mess the bandages up?”

“I’m more concerned with putting stress on the wound.”

“I’d have to try it to see.”

“We can figure out another position.”

“Ugh!” You groaned loudly and flipped over before he could stop you. “This is dumb. Let’s just see!”

You could feel his stiffness as he waited and the truth was your shoulder did sting, but it was instead from your hasty movements. Sitting still to see if it would subside, you felt your pillow begin to raise. Turning slightly towards the headrest, you identified Donnie’s arm snaking under it. When his upper arm was under head, he curled what was below the elbow out from beneath the pillow. Settling the weight of your head back down, you found the height gave your shoulder breathing room and was almost comfortable. Signaling this by shimmying back until you were pressed to him, his free arm encircled you. His chin then landed on top of your head and you pulled the arm around you closer to cuddle.

For a long while the two of you stayed still first out of concern and then out of comfort. You eventually pressed a few kisses along his arm and he made a little soothed sound above you. You vaguely heard the door being answered before S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. zipped into the bedroom and cooed at the sight of you both.

You tilted your head back, not enough to see him, but just to address Donnie. “Can he join?”

Donnie’s head shifted as if he was looking down at you before lifting to S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. who was nearly vibrating at the question. “Yes.”

The surprise hit you and the AI similarly and you tried not to call attention to it by reaching a lazy hand out. “Come here.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. revved before coming straight down to plop on the bed in front of you. He then shut off his rotors and sat with silent glee near your hand.

Unable to resist, you pet his head before turning the move around to his chin. His eyes closed and he leaned into your touch which made you wonder. “Can you feel it?”

“It’s not the same as how you feel.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had a drowsy quality to his voice and cracked an eye that looked above you at Donnie. “We discussed it once and decided against the full spectrum because Don had a solid argument about not wanting me to feel pain.”

Around you, Donnie’s arm tightened a little.

You gave a thoughtful hum.

“What I have now is an approximate awareness. It’s necessary to know if something is touching me and with what pressure.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. settled the weight of his head down on your hand.

“He’s lessening his ability.” Donnie’s arm left you to point at the droid.

“Am not!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. huffed.

You bit your lip to keep from interrupting.

“He likes to be scratched.” Donnie’s finger moved with precision as he pointed out nine different spots while listing ‘here’ for each one.

“H-hey, stop! Don’t tell Y/N that!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s eyes darted around, embarrassed.

“Outed!” You jeered and lifted up so you could get both hands out to scratch said spots.

Donnie joined in lazily with one limb.

“Two versus one is unfair!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. protested loudly at first before lulling like a pacified baby.

“We can eat while he’s incapacitated.” Donnie murmured into your ear before pressing a kiss there.

“I mean… it should still be hot.” You feigned a look as if it couldn’t be helped.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave a sleepy whine of protest.

In theory, doing a video chat with your roommate to pick out shower curtains had been a smart choice.

In practice, the two of you had certainly annoyed an entire store full of people and you were currently on the other side of the city with your phone about to die as the sun raced far below the building’s horizons.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!” You screamed, sprinting down the street.

Your gauntlet buzzed back.

“Ugh!” You watched as your phone’s display played a familiar branded logo before going black. “It’s gone, no!!”

There was a rapid series of nervous vibrations.

“No!” You slowed and spun around to find there were quite a few people milling about which made you feel comfortable coming to a full stop. “I’m fine. I’m fine! Don’t worry. My phone just died.”

The response sounded very much like an ‘uh oh’ even though that was impossible.

“Yeah…” You sighed and looked along the row of businesses. “I’m near apartment two. Can you buzz me up so I can get a charge?”

Silence.

You brought your wrist up to look at the device. “Oh…” Tapping a foot, you shrunk a little. “I guess Donnie and I haven’t really discussed something like that. Okay, that’s fine. No big deal. I’ll… uh… You can’t message him can you…?”

You watched as the gauntlet did nothing which prompted you to give it a little shake.

“How does that work? Donnie can’t access this unless he hooks it up, but you get a live feed?”

The third time the device didn’t move you considered it a pattern and that even S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had abandoned you.

“Great…” You pocketed your dead phone and brought your hands up to your temples. “Don’t know anyone’s numbers so I can’t borrow a phone. No charger. Guess I will just be incredibly super careful walking home. Fine. That’s totally fine. Just across the city with a shower curtain…” You looked down at your bag abysmally.

Buzz. Buzz.

“So you are there!”

Buzz…

“The last one was kinda complicated so I get you didn’t answer, but before that? Why not just say no to buzzing me up or contacting Don?”

Your gauntlet was still and you frowned deeply before it hit you.

“Oh! The quiet was ‘maybe’ or ‘you don’t know!’ How could I forget!?”

Buzz.

“Don’t sass me mister!”

There was a long drawn out buzz that you imagined was blowing a raspberry.

“Totally rude. No scritches for a week!”

Buzz! Buzz!

The desperation was palpable and you let him stew as you thought it over. “Okay, the first one about buzzing me up: maybe?”

Buzz. Buzz.

“You don’t know?”

Buzz.

“How could you not- Wait, you can’t- Okay…” You took a deep breath of the particularly stale air and blew it out in a slow exhale. “’You can’t message him can you?’ That one is worded strangely…”

Buzz!

You laughed. “Can you message him?”

Buzz. Buzz.

“Because of the closed system?”

Buzz.

“Remind me to ask you about how you access that later.”

Buzz!

“How about this…?” You turned around and glanced out in case anyone was watching. “I won’t charge my phone there. I’ll just grab the charger and leave. In and out, real fast. I’ll charge at a café or something. Is that okay?”

The silence was maddening.

“You have to meet me in the middle somehow!” You sternly said, “I can’t go alone.”

…Buzz.

“Yes, you did say that! Do you have any other options?”

… Buzz. …Buzz.

“Then apartment, yes or no?”

Again there was quiet.

“I’ll take full heat if Donnie’s upset.”

…Buzz.

“Yes?”

Buzz.

“Yes, I’m going to apartment two right now?” You turned in the proper direction and stuck a foot out even though no one was watching.

Buzz.

“In and out?”

Buzz!

“Too many questions?” You giggled.

There was a series of angry vibrations that you presumed was cursing in Morse code.

Biting down further tittering in case passersby thought you insane, you scurried off to the apartment. Once there, the panel at the door alternated between a warning sign and a checkmark. You stared at it curiously as the door unlocked. Thinking S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. meant for you to hurry, you speed walked to the elevator. A quick trip up and you hit the apartment door in no time flat. It was only as you reached for the knob that you remembered Donnie’s schedule. It was specifically tailored to keep any onlookers from guessing his location. Popping threatened that and you nervously palmed the handle. Having little other choice and trying to plan an untraceable exit strategy, you turned your hand to find the door wouldn’t budge.

“Uh…” You check the number and back to the knob before trying it again. “S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., you need to… unlock it for me to get in.”

…Buzz.

“Brrr, yes. Open the door.”

There was an audible click before the door yanked itself open. Momentarily stunned as S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. didn’t usually have that ability, it took you a second longer staring down at a pair of mismatched feet to realize someone was there.

“Y/N.”

Your eyes widened as you trekked up to Donnie’s angry face. “What…?”

“What are you doing here?” He stepped forward which caused you to back up into the hallway.

“My…” You wilted at the near rage on his face. He had never pointed this much at you before. “M-my phone died… I just… wanted to grab a charger…”

“Careless.” He spat before turning and closing the door in your face.

You stood stunned before dropping your gaze to the floor. Your lips parted and closed a few times. Waiting for what felt appropriate it felt like Donnie wasn’t coming back. “Sorry S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.... I guess that’s what you couldn’t explain…”

Buzz…

Turning to leave, you heard the door behind you open. You ignored it and continued to walk down the hall at an even pace.

“Hey… Wait!” The distinct sound of Donnie’s boots chased you.

That’s not what you had seen.

“It’s whatever.” You turned a corner and the elevators were in sight. “I get it. I compromised the schedule and we aren’t at that stage yet. It’s fine.”

“Incorrect.” Donnie caught your wrist and pulled you to him.

You stalled and tried to avoid looking at him, but he caught your chin to lift your attention up.

There was an apologetic look there. “The latter is a consideration, but wasn’t on my mind. The former can be discussed, but in reality my reaction was much more complicated.”

“Okay…” Unconvinced, you moved your pupils away.

He dipped down so his nose was level with yours. “Have I ever lied to you?”

“Not exactly.”

He arched his brow and waited with mild irritation.

“Not technically.” You half corrected and tried to mimic his look.

“I’ll take it.” He sighed. “I didn’t get the charger as you can see.”

Based on the one hand still at your arm and the other holding your head it made sense he wasn’t holding it.

“I have precautions in place. Someone offered no warnings of your arrival.”

“About that…”

Donnie’s gaze narrowed lethally.

You brought your hands up to stop him. “You can blame me for this one. It was all my idea and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was super hesitant. The only reason he even let me was because the alternative was me going home as is.”

Evaluating, your boyfriend relented with a deep exhale. “I see…”

“I also promised I’d take all the blame. So I better not catch you trying to sneak some!” You pointed a finger into his chest and he released you.

“Fine.”

“What the hell though!?” You flared now that the intensity was wearing off. “You were… really mad, scary mad. All because you missed a sensor and I was careless?”

He made a little frustrated noise. “There is one last factor I have neglected to mention.”

“Which is…?” You steeled yourself.

“I’m working.”

You blinked once, then twice.

Donnie glanced back even though there was no clear view of his apartment from here.

“You were…”

“Yes.”

“You work from… home?”

“Not always.”

“Oh…”

“Y/N.”

“Then…”

He shifted his weight nervously and you got a look at him. His boots were on, but the laces were left undone. His usual sleek black joggers were replaced with a dark grey pair that were more bulky and had purple pinstriping down the sides. Above that he had a worn hoodie that matched in a way that said it was a set and a large stain sat right in the center of it. Hitting his face, his eyes had deeper bags than usual.

He looked the pinnacle of someone who had been playing video games for a gross amount of time.

It became very apparent you hadn’t seen him in three days time.

“Have you taken a break?”

“It doesn’t work like that.”

“Donnie!”

“I will not elaborate. I need to get back.” He made a quick pivot and you chased after him.

“Wait! Why do you get to stop me and I don’t!?”

“It’s not the same. You can follow me as you wish, until a point. You need your charger, but keep in mind you will not be entering.” He turned the corner and you tried to keep up with his long legs.

“So charging at a café it is…” You grumbled out the side of your mouth.

Donnie halted on contact just shy of his ajar door.

You nearly ran into him.

“Do what you will, but let me give you a temporary phone.”

You frowned and stepped away.

He gave a heady sigh and turned. “I acknowledge I’m being an asshole and for that I apologize.”

You stared at him evenly.

“What I’m working on is time sensitive. Otherwise, I would clear the evidence and keep you here.”

Your head lolled at his word choice.

“I will make it up to you, but you must take the burner. You can text me and I can respond right away.”

That phrasing held its own issues, but was at least less annoying. “Fine.”

Donnie gave a nod before heading inside. The door closed after him and you stepped forward enough to lean on a wall. He appeared within the minute holding a charger and a clunky old brick phone.

You took them, juggling the odd phone up top.

“My number is programmed in.”

“One last question and I’ll go.”

Donnie folded his arms and awaited an antsy aura.

“What’s up with your left foot?”

The fisting he did of his sleeve was nearly violent. You tracked up from there to his face to find the portrait of a man who’d been caught.

You stared at him dryly. “Donnie.”

His guilt evaporated and he lifted his chin while putting on a cooler veneer. “It’s a prosthetic.”

It was your turn to lose your cool, but in your case, it was in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“It is the one I prefer to wear as it’s more comfortable.”

“You-” You reached out and placed a hand to his plastron for stability as you stared down at his still unlaced boots. “You’re missing your left foot?”

“Yes.”

“And have been this whole time?!” You shot a look that was now teetering on annoyance.

He almost seemed smug. “The other prosthetic is convincing.”

“I’ve seen you naked like a hundred times!”

It only added to his airs. “If you can recall: licentious.”

Frustration became your prime directive.

“You were too preoccupied to notice otherwise.”

You groaned and shoved him before doing a heel turn. “Whatever. I’ll text you, but I’m upset!”

“Noted.”

You started to walk away when the back of your shirt was caught in a minor pinch. Your body continued a little further which caused you to bend back from where you were being held. Donnie appeared above you as you did so and pressed a small kiss to your hairline.

“Be safe.”

You frowned deeply before spinning around to give him a quick squeeze that he had no time to respond to. “Still mad!” You clarified before turning and heading off.

Don Quixote: My new neighbor gifted me a box of pumpkins.

You: lol what

Don Quixote: She was elderly and, when I tried to refuse, she pretended not to hear me to instead drone on about how her son got her a vegetable delivery service that she despises.

You: What a housewarming gift

Don Quixote: They appear to be an edible variety.

You: Yeah would hope her son wasn’t sending her otherwise

Don Quixote: Think I can work them into dinner?

You: Hmm…

You: Soup?

Don Quixote: Roasted and used as a vessel?

You: That’d use a bunch of em

Don Quixote: A first course then.

Don Quixote: I’ll base the rest of the meal on such.

You: Multiple courses cooked by you? I guess you are trying to make last week up to me

Don Quixote: You will be wined and dined by the finest.

You: Candles? Rose petals?

Don Quixote: Distracting scents can affect the palate.

You: Oh sorry, you don’t do romance!

You: My mistake

You: How could I forget

Don Quixote: I clarified ‘formulaic.’

Don Quixote: Instead, it seems you fail to recall specifics.

You: You’re working against yourself there

Don Quixote: Then it is good I am not trying to make amends over text.

Don Quixote: Which would be pitiful in and of itself.

You: SIGH

You: In person Donnie is a different beast

Don Quixote: Glad we’re on the same page.

Don Quixote: Now if you’ll excuse me, I require the rest of the day to scrap my initial menu, create an entirely new one, and gather the required ingredients.

You: Clearly the pumpkin thing did not throw you off in the slightest 🤭

You: See you tonight

Don Quixote: 7pm

Stowing your phone and clocking in, you got up to grab a memo from a coworker that you had left from the day prior. You weren’t sure if they’d be at their desk quite yet, but they were organized enough that you knew where they’d keep it. Only a few more cubicle entrances to go, someone slammed hard into your right shoulder. Bumping into the plush wall of the metal frame beside you, you shot a glare to find your gossipy coworker already several feet away dramatically gesturing for you to follow. You flipped him off before chasing after. He led you to where several of your coworkers were crowded around an assistant’s desk.

“Let’s see what else we got…?” Her voice floated in through the charged silence.

You shoved your gossipy coworker back to get a view of her. She was the picture of poise, fully decked out in a business suit that was cut solely for her. Under her perfectly coiffed hair, her make-up was done flawlessly save a wrinkle in her brow. Manicured nails disappeared as she dug into a large box that sat on her desk.

“Ah here.” She came away with a top shelf bottle of liquor that you jolted at the sight of. “He was saving this supposedly for our anniversary.” She sneered at the bottle before putting on a perfect smile for the crowd. “Takers?”

Someone toward the left surged forward and was deemed the victor over the slower moving person next to them.

“There you go. Enjoy it! One each though, so you shoo now.” She made a wave and the person who got the bottle scurried off.

“What’s going on?” You turned an intense whisper on your gossipy coworker.

He rose a hand and faked a cough before whispering back to you out of the side of his mouth. “Word is husband cheated on her with his personal trainer. We’re a little late. She already gave away his golf clubs and signed movie memorabilia.”

“Ah, well…” You feigned as if that was a bad thing as she passed out a top shelf vodka next. “You think she’d sell this stuff… I usually can’t afford one glass.”

“He somehow wrangled them into counseling before he’ll agree to divorce. She’s stabbing him where it hurts on shared property from their pre-nup.” Your gossipy coworker sighed dreamily. “I want to be like her when I grow up.”

You choked on a laugh and turned it into your own cough. “What are you waiting for?”

“Tequila. Which!” He stepped forward as the assistant’s hand went back into the box. He got to the desk where he slammed his hand down at the ready before she even unearthed anything.

She smiled sweetly at him and passed said bottle over. “Still on for drinks tonight?”

“You bet.” He winked at her and then showed you the bottle as he approached.

You gave it an appreciative nod.

“Wine in two, get that. It’s a good one.” He left you with a passing tip as he departed.

You watched as she gave away another tequila before you wormed your way up.

Her twinkling eye caught sight of you and she pulled out an unimpressive bottle next. Someone next to you tried to move, but she was staring at you alone. “You’ve got a boyfriend, right?”

“Oh…” You hadn’t talked to her much. “Yeah.”

“Is it serious?” She seemed genuine, but she had a death grip on the bottle’s neck.

Was it?

The unknowns were becoming far less scary.

You looked down with a small smile before moving to meet her gaze head on. “We’re going at our own pace.”

Whatever grin plastered on her face before dipped into one of a sad quality and revealed the pain swirling just before the surface. “Don’t let him dictate it. Don’t get too comfortable and, above all else, don’t let him convince you he suddenly wants to do fucking yoga.” She held out the bottle and you took it carefully.

“I won’t…”

“Good.” She turned to the next person. “Don’t worry, I’ve got just the thing for you…”

You turned and stared at the bottle as you headed back to your cubicle. There you did a quick search to find it was worth about $9000 and almost choked. Looking over the bottle that seemed outrageous, but who were you to judge whatever phony nonsense was boosting the price. Remembering tonight’s dinner, you tapped the neck lightly. You could surprise Donnie with it, but thought better of it. You had no idea what this stuff was like and he was sure to dictate the evening down to the drink pairings.

Knowing the meal would be exquisite meant you’d save the gift for later. The only problem would then come with your roommate. She respected possessions, but there was no way she’d be able to control herself with something like this. It was a caliber that only came into your class under crazy circumstances such as these. It also didn’t help that, in the grand scheme, your scales were tipped in that you owed her far more than she owed you. It wasn’t something that was ever touted, but if she knew then it was assured that she’d leverage it along with a thousand other favors.

You needed to stash it.

Anywhere in your roommate’s vicinity was out of the question. That meant you needed to stow it elsewhere. Its stupid price tag made it too coveted and too precious. It’d be safest under Donnie’s protection, but that would negate the surprise. Toying with the bottle still, it tipped and you snatched it right up. You didn’t even trust yourself with it. Opening a drawer, you nestled it in a way that would prevent it from rolling around when the door was opened again. Thinking as you closed the compartment with an open palm, you thought of the best doorman you knew.

His little face warmed your heart as you got up to get that memo you’d neglected.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. would keep it a secret without question, you just needed to get it to him. Though you still weren’t sure if dropping in unannounced was acceptable, you knew exactly what Donnie was up to today. Since he’d gotten the pumpkins at the new sixth apartment, he was surely there or out shopping. That meant you could easily pop into any of the other ones without any trouble.

Reverse heist plotted, you bid your coworker lazy greetings as you gathered the paperwork and headed back to your desk. You then donned a headset you never used as cover.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. my sweet knight?”

There was a joyous quality to his single vibration.

“I have a gift for Donnie, mind buzzing me into… let’s say apartment four, so I can drop it there for him to find?”

He chirped back with another delighted buzz.

You smiled at the ease this time around brought. “Thank you!”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. tickled your wrist with what you felt was many bows at the unseen applause. You chuckled as you took your headset off and got to work. The day passed easily with a boring lunch where you got into a heated text conversation with a friend about their thoughts on a movie that recently came out. You were then back on the grind until clock out and happily rocketed out of your chair to leave. Transporting the precious bottle became its own harrowing journey as you kept it tucked close to your body both for fear of leaving it in your bag and that someone might steal it.

You hit apartment four with time to spare for you to get in, drop the bottle off, head home, freshen up, and be fashionably early to Donnie’s dinner. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. let you right in with a checkmark flourished with confetti. You laughed at the sight and told him how you liked his twist. Your wrist buzzed happily as you bounced up the stairs. The door opened under your hand and you peered inside despite knowing full well no one was there. Tip-toeing only as a mock show for yourself, you took to the kitchen where you set the bottle just so on the counter. You gave it a little turn so the label was out and looked back towards the door. It was perfectly in view as an oddity in the space commanding attention.

Riding on your success, you turned to leave when your gauntlet came alive.

“What’s wrong?” You stopped to lift the shaking band up to your face.

It didn’t stop and instead seemed to be going off in the exact pattern as an alarm.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. what is it? Is something wrong?”

Buzz.

Your eyes went wide and you spun around rapidly. It didn’t look like anyone was there, so you pivoted toward the window. Images of enormous turtles all in incorrect shades flew through your mind and you unconsciously backed up. Your gauntlet was rhythmically buzzing again and you were already going for your phone.

If you couldn’t outrun Donnie, you had no chance of getting away from them.

Last time had been all a sheer fluke and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.

Trying to think of as short a message as possible to get your point across, you got your text window up just as the handle of the door turned. Spiraling as that was decidedly not the direction you thought the entry would come, you fumbled your device and shot gibberish out to Donnie. You then ran towards the kitchen window and tried to get it unlatched as the door opened. The jamb stuck and you cowered as the hinges creaked.

“What the…?” A whisper came before a loud sniff. “Y/N?”

You spun around at the sound. “Donnie!”

“What are you doing here?” He grouched, his arms full with paper bags and his phone in hand.

You were across the apartment in seconds and jumped at him.

“Wait, don’t-!”

Paper crinkled as you wedged yourself in the small crack between bags against your boyfriend’s tough chest. “It was you! It was just you!”

“Who else…?” You could feel him look around.

“I came to-” You lifted your head and saw his eye was trained in the kitchen. You deflated knowing what he’d caught sight of. “I was leaving you a surprise… Wait, why are you here?!”

It took him a moment to drag his eye away from the wine to look down at you with his own offense. “Cooking can be a messy affair no matter how precise the chef is. It made more sense to do messy prep offsite to preserve the ambiance of our date space.”

“You-” You snorted a laugh.

He ignored you and made a show of his step forward so you’d move with him.

Pulling away, you took to the side and he headed to set the bags on the kitchen counter. He then got a hold of the bottle and examined the label. “Wine seems like an odd gift. Not something we’ve discussed.”

“It’s $9000.”

Donnie raised a brow and turned while showing you the bottle. “This? It’s a 2010.”

“That’s your reaction!?” You crossed over to him.

“Should I have another? I’m not familiar with this brand.”

“It’s expensive!” You balked.

Donnie set the bottle right back where it was and turned toward you. “And?”

He was the man that kept six separate New York apartments retrofitted to his exact specifications.

“Yeah… I don’t know what I thought…” Shell shocked, you let your arms uselessly fail as you rotated away.

There was a soft tap of Donnie’s shoe. He then took a step and a cabinet opened. Curious, you peeked at him through the corner of your eye as he reached in. He came away with two wine glasses and held them out for you to see. “Shall we?”

“Now?” You hesitated to move.

“Why not?”

“It’s expensive…” The phrase popped out before you could stop it.

You’d already covered that.

For him that didn’t matter.

“Do we need an occasion then?”

You turned a little. “I wasn’t imagining something like that.”

He took a single step towards you. “You had a scenario dreamed up..”

“I don’t know what I thought.” You moved towards him as if magnetized and he closed the gap.

“Maybe me…” Careful with the glasses he still had, he swooped down low and picked you up off the ground with a single arm. You squeaked and held onto his shoulder as his forearm locked under your butt. “…sweeping you off your feet?”

“Could be…” You forced yourself to look away.

He walked back over to the kitchen and shoved the groceries aside as he set you on the counter in their spot. He then leered into your space and you found it difficult to avoid his gaze. “The many gratitudes I’d shower you with?” He got hold of your hand with his free one and pressed a kiss to the top of it.

“A little…” Your face was burning up.

“The occasion is anytime we’re together.” He went back to crowding you.

You gave him a coy look. “That’s special? It happens all the time.”

“It doesn’t make it any less.”

You finally looked at him to evaluate how thick he was spreading it on. While there was an undeniably airy quality to him, the underlying look read honesty. It had you pressing your lips right to his. He deepened the maneuver and you reluctantly pushed him back with both your hands to his plastron. “Let’s cook together and drink it.”

“Why the latter? It is part of my atonement .”

You smiled and gave him another peck. “It'll be more fun.”

“You’ll only do simple work.” He laid out his stipulation before giving you room.

You giggled and hopped off the counter. “I’m gonna mise those place!”

Donnie rolled his eyes as he got a hold of the wine. You watched as he skillfully uncorked it and poured two glasses. He passed you yours and you watched as he swirled his. His snout was wrinkling and you dipped your nose down into your bowl.

You reeled back at the scent of coffee. “What…?”

“The aroma is repulsive…” Donnie remarked before giving you a look that said he did not want to follow through.

Taking the lead for him, you took a swig before turning away as a laugh immediately prevented you from swallowing. Choking on the tightness of your throat, Donnie’s hand came, worried, to your shoulder and you reached over to pat his appendage before you got the liquid down. “It tastes like BBQ sauce!”

That seemed to further confuse your boyfriend. “How could that be?” Against his better instincts, he took his own tiny sip and made an even deeper face of disgust. “Coffee and glycerin.”

“Oh! I can see that!” You went over to the sink and poured your glass right down the drain.

Donnie followed closely behind. “Expense does not equal quality. Where did you get this?”

“Lady at work spiteing her husband.”

“She would have been better off leaving it with him.”

“Can you cork it back up?”

“Why?” He shot you a confused look as he tried to pull something out of a grocery bag.

“I’m going to give it to my roommate.” You smiled wickedly.

Donnie stopped what he was doing, let go of whatever he had, and spun around to do as you asked.

You laughed brightly and went to take over his task.

Tucked into your jacket, you basked in the early morning light. Unusually calm, people still milled about; someone accepting deliveries here, while another sipped steaming coffee with friends there. The chill of the night still had its clutches on the concrete, but it did little to dampen your spirit. Even up at this terrible hour, you rode a high of what would be warm flaky layers and a day with Donnie. He’d had something on the books labeled as work in your shared calendar for weeks now and while you were always curious, it mattered little as he’d asked you to meet him at a bakery first thing to make the most of your time together.

It had made you laugh. You’d only been apart little more than a few days. Your comfort in the relationship had been growing and, even though there’d only been one session so far, therapy had been pleasant. Your therapist's affirmations had been delightful and they already seemed to be building a solid understanding after only just getting to know you. You hadn’t felt the least bit overwhelmed when they’d ended the session with a simple game plan. Going forward would be a journey that was by no means linear. It was all about striving to do your best and being content with what you could manage. Still warmed at the memory, your phone sounded. Resisting answering as it meant unearthing your fingers to the cold, you reluctantly pulled out the device to find several messages there with more incoming from Donnie.

Don Perignon: I am unfortunately unavailable.

Don Perignon: I send my sincerest apologies.

Don Perignon: I would have preferred to cancel via at least a call, but I am otherwise indisposed.

Don Perignon: A bitter irony considering I just made up for one offense.

Don Perignon: I will be out for the rest of the weekend.

Don Perignon: The calendar has been updated.

Don Perignon: I will be going silent soon.

Don Perignon: I hope this message reaches you.

Don Perignon: S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. has an errand to run for me, but he will be en route to your location as a liaison soon just in case it does not.

Staring at your phone, it wasn’t the cancellation that gave you a terrible feeling.

Everything about the wall of text was wrong. Not only had Donnie never canceled on you once, there was something about the way he’d written. He relegated text conversations to banal things like idle conversation or reminders and always solidified even the simplest plans verbally. You had to search its meaning, but ‘indisposed’ couldn’t have been right. If he couldn’t manage a quick chat then he had to be in bad shape. The phrase ‘going silent’ also had the cold seeping straight through to the bone where you’d been pleasantly warm just seconds before.

You were in motion before you realized it.

Cycling through what you knew, you had been to apartments two, four, and six. They were exactly as he described and had little to differentiate them. You only knew that two had one more outlet than the others and six is where he’d reinstalled B.E.D.F.A.S.T. Otherwise, his homes were all the same. Refusing to stop, you turned a corner and flicked up a map. If he’d even attempted to meet then he’d be at apartment five. Flicking your gaze between your device and the sidewalk, you frowned.

Your gut said he’d never made it that far.

Your imagination ran wild in a negative sense and you saw gruesome fight scenes. Shoving them down, you considered what he had shared. You knew about the cleaners, but he hadn’t mentioned them. He’d have no reason to omit the truth in that regard so you safely removed that option. In contrast, the way he’d omitted his job stirred you. That felt purposeful which insinuated only bad things. Eating up pavement, you saw the insignia for the subway and flew down the steps.

In a blur you got to the platform at nearly the same time as the train. Thinking it an omen, you boarded and glanced over the map nervously. You’d read something about doom spirals on a leaflet emailed to you by your therapist, but you kicked that thought away. While it could certainly be an overreaction on your part, you had been picking this problem apart for too long now. Checking your phone found it to be 15 minutes since you’d watched the last few texts roll in live.

Logic was on your side.

If nothing else, you prided yourself on how well you’d learned to read Donnie. He was the sort of being you had to pay attention to. For everything he left unsaid, he communicated it through a thousand micro-gestures on his face. You hadn’t had much necessity in analyzing his texts, but you knew his speech patterns carried over into how he wrote. You almost imagined he spoke the phrases out loud to make sure they sounded right before committing them to digital form. Refusing to smile at the ridiculous, but plausible imagery, stops seemed to file by one by one.

The pitted feeling didn’t grow and instead sat as a single weighty stone. You took that as another validation as you read over the texts again and again to glean even a little new information. Finding none, you switched over to the calendar to see he’d simply blocked his weekend off without even labeling it. It looked a stark white contrast compared to the litany of notes and color codes he left on every other previously marked date.

Something was wrong.

This wasn’t in your head.

Your gauntlet buzzed with confusion and you snapped it off your wrist in a swift move. The device continued to vibrate in hand and you shoved it deep into your pocket until you could only faintly sense it was still going off. Your moving location signal was probably alarming for S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. While you could ask him for help, you’d been relying on him far too much. You also didn’t have the mental capacity to play questions when you already had a sense where you were going. You only had one factoid leading you, but something about it led you beyond a hunch. Again your instincts were rallying which you gave into solely on how absurdly loud they were being.

Your stop was closing in and you got to your feet. Grabbing the bar as if you could dent it, the car slowed and you exited carefully before taking off once again. The stairs slowed you down more than you would have liked and you added more cardio to your gym rotation. Breaching the sidewalk above, you laid out the mental map while traveling down it. Your throat burned on the sharp inhales of what now felt like icy breath as you weaved through the streets. Counting down the blocks, you took a corner and nearly ran into an older couple who scolded you as you threw apologies back at them. It was two more blocks and then you skidded to a loud halt on your sneakers as you stared up at the building that contained apartment three.

Marching straight up to the panel, you stared right into its whole with conviction. “Let me up.”

There was a beat of silence before a single purple check mark signaled in time with the door opening. You yanked the metal so hard your arm hurt and you hurled yourself inside. Finding the elevator would take too long, you destroyed what was left of your oxygen by taking the stairs two at a time. Thoughts of gym were squashed in this being your exercise for the year as you finally hit the correct floor. You were down the hall in seconds with footfalls so loud you were sure to wake everyone in the vicinity. The door appeared and this time you appropriately slowed. Grabbing the knob, it unlocked underhand as you turned. Throwing the door open, you followed through with your momentum, carrying you nearly to the divide between the living and bedrooms. “Donnie!”

The faintest starting syllable of your name began before an outright yelp of pain chased a loud slosh of water.

It was coming from the bathroom and you rounded the corner all too quickly to find the door open with light pouring out. Barely keeping your feet under you, you saw a green leg leading to a stump hanging limply out of the tub. Your heart sank as you shot into the room to find Donnie submerged. As you drew close the ceiling clipped your view and screeched. Arms flying out to stabilize yourself from where you’d slipped, one of your knees banged into the tub with a loud echo that shook you as one arm hooked the toilet. It kept you from completely falling but the sudden rush of ice cold water that hit you from Donnie shooting upright had both of you belting separate wails.

“Why is it cold?!” You tried to right yourself as your sneaker slid out from under you on the flooded floor.

“What are you doing here?!” Donnie sank back into the tub, panting.

“What’s wrong?!” You forced both knees to the ground and latched on to the tub’s rim.

He tried to resist, but faint agony painted his features as he slid back under the water.

A high note emerged from you as you dipped your hands in to catch him. The shock was instant and you saw little ice cubes floating as you tucked your hands under his shoulders. He nearly convulsed at the touch and you released nervously. One of his hands breached the surface of the water and waved you back. Following orders and feeling how all the groundwater was soaking heavily into your pants, you sat back as he clamped a tridactyl appendage around the lip. The tub creaked angrily as he pulled himself up only enough to free his head.

“I… can breathe… underwater.”

“You can?!”

His eyes closed and you caught sight of how much darker the green of shoulder was than what you remembered. Distracted, you only barely caught the crack in his lids. “Highly… aquatic… Not… forever…”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Take your time.” You urged hovering close.

He gave what was an approximation of a nod before falling slack under the water. You stared openly until the water stilled with only random bubbles popping out from around his nose every so often. Both his shoulders had what you could now tell were bruising that disappeared under the wraps. His right leg, folded to get it submerged, had two distinct rectangular welts wrapped around as if he’d been hit with a pipe. Trailing back to his face, his plastron seemed intact and the water had no residual color to it. Instead the faint traces of ice were there that said he’d been soaking for a long time already.

He’d been trying to keep the swelling down.

He must have been at this for hours by the looks of it.

He’d tried everything to keep his date.

Tears welling up, you swallowed the lump in your throat as there was a sudden tinny rush. Turning to see S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., you tried not to cry as he immediately looked distraught.

“Ah! What are you doing here?! I mean I know ‘cause I let you in, but still! What happened?! Why is there water everywhere?!”

You caught an ice cube and threw it at the drone who dodged easily.

“Hey! Why?!”

“You let him be like this?!” Making sure you were stable, you got to your feet.

“You act like I had a choice!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. revved angrily.

“Not him getting like this! Of course you couldn’t stop him from whatever the hell happened, but how long has he been in this tub?! I could have helped!”

“You think I didn’t try?! I asked him 47 separate times to change his mind! He can barely walk and he was still trying to make it to your damn date!”

You didn’t drop your anger, but instead your next biting response was to look back at the tub.

There Donnie’s eye moved from S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. to you.

You turned away.

Even with his superior hearing, you wondered what he could glean underwater.

“When did he get here?”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. lowered warily. “3:19am.”

“When’d he start icing?”

“Within 30 minutes. I had to pick some up along with medication.”

“From the cleaners?”

“Yeah.”

“Donnie said you were running an errand and then coming to get me-”

“Yeah, except you kept moving!”

You shot the droid a glare and he wilted even more. “-was it to get more ice?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Did he take the medicine?”

“Enough that it should have knocked him out.”

You looked over your shoulder to find Donnie staring at you through a mild wince. “Okay.” You turned back to S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. “Okay.” Shouldering off your coat, you slung it over the sink. “Can you get the bag or do you need help?”

“I got it!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hollered before zipping away.

In a rotation that brought you down to your knees, you prepared yourself as you dipped your hands into the freezing water. Donnie watched with growing alarm as you neared his head before you bypassed it and his gaze shot to you. You pulled the stopper and let some water drain until S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. returned. Fingers numb, you took the bag and tore it open. Shooting Donnie a confirming gaze he gave an underwater nod as you poured the contents in. The tub nearly overflowed again and you had to fiddle with the drain to get it to a better level. When you came up S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had towels and together you mopped up the excess water as best you could. When you finished and the numbness was nearing your elbow, you heard the water in the tub move as Donnie lifted himself a little, now leaning heavily into the tub walls for support.

“Did S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. tell you I was here?” He began with a bitter wheeze.

“No, dude.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. clipped.

“He didn’t.” You shook your head and passed the wet towels to S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. who took them somewhere.

“How did you know?”

“Educated guess.” You rubbed an arm to get blood flowing.

“How?”

You shot him a look that said you weren’t going to entertain his attitude, but he continued to stare evenly. “You mentioned three had medical supplies.”

In a blink his gaze was tinted with surprise before he had to close his eyes around it. “”Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.””

“What?”

“It establishes a pattern.” He gave a weak whine. “How do you keep finding me?”

You stared openly, an odd feeling washing over your numbed body. “I pay attention.”

He chuffed in a way that sounded more like a labored breath.

“I got rough details about what’s happened since you got to the apartment. Think you’ll give me anything about what caused this?”

Without lifting his lids, he responded with a sigh. “Bomb went off.”

You felt your blood rush to your feet. “What?”

Donnie cracked one eye. “I was shielded from the fire, but the force threw me into a fire escape.”

“Donatello.”

He sank a little until his chin dipped back into the water.

“Is anything broken?”

“No.”

Setting aside how that was even possible, your shoulders dropped. “You’ll heal over the weekend?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.” You pushed your palms into your eyes and saw the ghosts of warm pastries dissolving. “You shared, that counts for something. How long are you going to soak?”

“I can’t feel my body.”

“That doesn’t-”

“Meaning I can’t get up.”

“Ah.” You gave a heavy nod before running your eyes down the leg extended out the far too small tub. “Where’s your foot?”

“Lost it.”

Your eyes shot back to his face to catch the faintest up turn of his lip. “You’re lucky I’m not going to hit you.”

“Because I’m injured?”

“Because you won’t feel it.” You knelt down and offered him a hand.

“You can’t lift me.”

“Watch me.” You shot him a sharp look before turning your gaze out the bathroom door. “S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!”

“Yeah?!” His voice sounded more digitized than usual, but distinctly came from the living room.

“Can you come here! Oh… And bring more towels!”

“ETA two minutes!” He shouted back before something audibly clicked off.

Ignoring it, you felt Donnie’s hand slip into yours.

“That’s surprising.” You turned to him.

“Your fingertips are blue.” He faintly scolded, already creating friction with his fingers.

“Seriously?”

“After you fail to get me to bed then promise you’ll have S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. help you treat this.”

“I don’t have frostbite.”

“Yet.”

“Stop.”

“No.”

You sighed and the front door opened. Perking up, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. soon appeared with towels stacked on top of him. You gave Donnie’s hand a squeeze before letting go to retrieve them. You laid them out on the bed as S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. took your place in the bathroom. When you returned, you toed your shoes off and left them at the door. “Alright, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. you support the right. I’ve got the left.”

“Uh, the calculations are not looking good here.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. nervously hummed.

“It’s fine.” You bit on the phrase and glared both of them into submission. “Don, this is going to hurt.”

“Noted.” He pushed himself into a sitting position with a twitch to his left eye.

“You’ll hunch your weight forward and put your hand on my far shoulder, I’m going to grab you around your leg.”

“That makes no sense.” Donnie did the barest sneer.

“Put your right arm on top of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.” You continued, unperturbed.

“Shouldn’t you know my weight limit…?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. fussed.

“Nope!” You set your stance wide and close to the tub. “On the count of three.”

“Y/N, this isn’t-”

“One.”

“Holy shit.”

“Two.”

“I would prefer to stay in the tub instead of on the floor!”

“Three!”

Also huge shout-out to my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83!

#weakspotfic #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #donatello hamato #donnie x reader #rise donnie #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #me #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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yutasbimil · 1 year ago

Text

Polar

vyn x fem!oc | tears of themis ff. (psychology major!lead) ✦ (2/8) [series fic] !!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here } tags: angst, pre-smut, fluff, comfort cw: mental anguish, interrupted; cut-short sex, panic attacks, love at first sight, slight prejudice, psychology major student x professor? hmmm . . . eventual smut (i promise!), eventual romance + supposedly this is a 'x reader' fic but got too heavy eventually, I apologize truly ;; word count: 2.7k

do not repost �� yutasbimil (2022)

cont.

Opposite they are to each other.

But being brought too close to each other’s proximity, it’s harder to pull further apart to get away from each of their magnetic fields.

In the same way that alcohol can bring out one’s vulnerabilities… But we can never be sure if spilling these thoughts can drive us closer to the warmth or coldness of those who would hear it.

At first glance there’s always something so entrancing about Vyn the more that Yule watches him. Standing across the room with him, it’s clear how he exudes such prestige aura, it’s alluring how upright he stands yet so much feebleness despite his charismatic façade. It all seems like a mask.

Yule spins and twirls her wrist along the glass of wine. Just remembering how Vyn taught her the etiquette of drinking made Yule blush under her skin. Mostly, yes, it’s because of the effects of alcohol kicking in. It at least helped lessen the coldness she feels. Though she felt cold in other aspects, the bitterness outweighs the supposed sweetness of the laughter around her. Expecting the booze to boost off her self-consciousness, it didn’t help a tad bit as she felt her head spin more and the almost empty glass in her hand.

The clear dissonance between her and the white noise crowd signals an ending of the event, or at least to her and her social battery.

She might’ve gone too far to even climb up to attend such a fancy event.

As if on cue, the escort accompanying her takes the glass from her the same as it didn’t even register in her brain that he’s already footsteps close to her.

His breath near her paints a blush on her ears.

Now the redness is because of something else.

“I would suggest you sober up before we head home, m’lady.” The light hoarse in Vyn’s tone signals the lateness of the night. “I do not see clear skies for tonight, I ought to take you home soon so we won’t get caught by the winds.”

“The night seems young though.” And at that slight refuseness in her thoughts, it surprised Yule how it’s been a long while since she doesn’t want to go home yet. Also connecting it to the skin on hers as Vyn is touching her arm for support.

“Sorry to cut the night short, Yule… But I do insist more on your safety.”

The softness of his voice delayed her receptivity more on how she had said her thoughts out loud. The alcohol did the magic for her, and she was on the ride with it.

She knows this is all much of an act, especially for today, but it lingered till days past and it felt like a dream…

Though she had also noticed the distance he draws whenever she steps closer to him, as if she was brought further away the more interactions they are presented with.

This is a peculiar feeling to every meeting.

“What's it like in your hometown?”

The crescent of the moon illuminates along the cold snow that fell on the lady’s nose, she almost shivered at the gaze the taller male gave her. Similar to the white of his hair, his answer seemed frigid.

“I haven’t been there for a long while,” Vyn says.

Silence enveloped them, she almost gasped for warmth as the cold winter air brushed stiffly against them. By instinct she stepped close to him for body heat, he nearly flinched at the almost contact.

“Oh sorry, do I make you uncomfy?” Yule asks, between the lines, her concern of ‘haven’t we had a close relations contact recently for you to act too surprised this way?’ specifically, to pertain to her choice of words at this moment.

Vyn also took this into account and was as direct as her.

“No, no… It’s just that you are cold,” he states, relating to –at most– the weather. But she quickly caught on to the subtleties.

“Likewise.”

“Hmmm?” Vyn turned to her, golden eyes caught in the rose hues straight across her face. Her demeanor appeared to be in her favor as it aligned easily with her behavior and sound reasoning.

What acts coy in tone, she says. “This is just because of the cold...” As if covering both her ears isn’t enough, she repeats as she recollected herself.

”It is cold tonight, Dr. Richter.”

She's the type to get cold easily, given that he also has cold hands instead of warmth is… not quite what she expected as to why she flinched. She thought at that one time but felt the same thing at this instance… she’s met with rather quivering arms.

She looked at him frozen.

“I am also the type to have cold hands, my body temperature is lower than normal,” Vyn states as if reading a glimpse of her mind.

Despite his cold demeanor, warmth is felt between them. Or at least at her end.

The barrier between them seemed to bubble away as Vyn slightly leaned on her proximity. But which made her intrigued all the more by the sudden shift.

Partially, Vyn noticed he is to blame but even he cannot understand his own complexities, what more on observing others behavior… And it is supposedly his profession; Yule cannot reckon this field he planted in.

The shifts didn’t change at the sudden gust of wind as they went just by the front porch of Vyn’s home. Her way home is by his route and talks about such luck she has.

They get caught in the snowstorm.

She’s meaning to just pass by his house for some reference books as she needs them for the following weeks. But by the looks of the hail outside, it cannot be.

As polar they astutely discern each other's personalities, their bodies seem to have found a way to gravitate toward each other.

The warmth of his breath by Yule’s ear had the same effect of a blizzard wind sending down one’s spine.

She didn’t fully know how or why they got into this exact situation, bare naked, skin-to-skin; less than hair strands apart, but it felt right to the bone.

But her head says otherwise, despite Yule’s body yearning for any means to get warmth by body heat. Her body seems automatic as it elicits tones of pleasure. Specifically, asking for Vyn’s skin near her, his lips exploring the surface of her naked skin by her collarbone, more so with how he pulls her close to his chest.

Both their breathing grows more ragged and labored as if exchanging replies along their bodies. Yule moans as he ascends from her territories, Vyn’s vision looks darker towards her darkened crimson cheeks.

“Can I touch you?” Vyn breathed by her ear, momentarily fanning her intense desire. His fingers lingered above her scorching core, with full consent, she quickly led his fingers by her damp panties.

“Ahhh… there, please.” She hissed at his cold fingers digging through the fabric.

With his impatient touch, it’s as if she can’t believe her body can get more blazed, more so as he sets aside her panties as Vyn fingers her.

“Let me treat you well here as well, my lady.” he musters, and she could only gulp a breath of surprise as he went in to make her squirm good at his techniques. Vyn heavily grunts as she clenches more in his fingers, a smile of triumph appears on his face as she slips profanities.

“Fu-fuck… shit- sorry—” Yule covered her foul mouth, quickly turning weak as he curled his digits in her. She almost yelps. “Don’t be… so, g-good.”

Yule could only give in to the pleasure. Her muscles fight over clenching or relaxing over the sensation. Her wetness squelches the deeper Vyn’s fingers buried in and out of her vagina, gaining more grunts and moans from both their lips.

As if a request for more silence, Vyn’s lips crash into hers, turning more aggressive and passionate, opposite to his light touches. Yule’s nails say otherwise, it remains gripped and clenched by his hair. He took it as a validation he was doing so damn well, moving along his lips on her drenched lips down between her legs.

Yule contained all her control not to wrap her legs into his head. But every time he looks up at her, eye-to-eye directly into hers, his lips are devilishly distracting.

She pulled his hair out of frustration.

In between the twists in her stomach overwhelmed with pleasure, there are also evident signs of the looming feeling in her guilt. Particularly feeling good about having sex.

Oh no, shit.

There go her thoughts consumed with her bad view of sex.

She felt disgusted with herself.

The shame takes over her, suddenly feeling insecure and inadequate. Her exposed body felt embarrassing, this is wrong. Yule thinks she’s doing something horribly wrong. Even so, she can’t pinpoint what is at fault really… But still! Maybe I am just using him, taking advantage of him with my body.

Before anything else, she is a virgin, and this is so wrong taking this ounce of opportunity to taint that. But I also want it?

She zones out, feeling out of it as much as his touch is nowhere out of her personal space.

Still, the feeling floods over her like liquid lead. Her consciousness and lucidity are leaking out of her bit by bit.

Crap.

“Yule? Are you okay?” Vyn sounded muffled to her.

The heavy breathing turned more appalling on her end as she felt a familiar enclosed tightness around her chest. It’s anything but pleasurable.

They are cut short of the pre-intercourse the same as her breath.

“Doc… Richter, stop, let’s…” her breathing is a clear sign for Vyn to halt any of their acts progressing. He’s quick to break free and observe.

A blatant sign of a panic attack.

“ Breathe in… catch your breath, properly now.” Vyn’s voice is slow and coherent.

One would be quick not to question the source, even ask about the trigger. But even Yule is ashamed of her helpless, vulnerable state at the moment.

She can’t even look Vyn in the eye.

With his intensity and slight hesitancy to hold and comfort her, Yule predicts she would melt at his touch.

It was worry, and somehow it had more effect on her than the darkened orbs of lust he showed earlier.

She felt a pang in her chest.

Also, her intrusive thoughts and aching core left unsatiated. Her selfishness also crept in, though this is the most inappropriate time to have such indecent thoughts despite being in the obscene act itself.

But it’s more shameful and such a waste they didn’t even reach that point.

Instead, something like this happened, with him tending to her and being a burden–

Why did she let such a chance slip away?

It kept overplaying in her head, although it wasn’t a full-blown panic attack– it was still leading up to that point. But that made her scrunch up into a ball more, closing her walls completely after closing the gap between them.

Yule tries to tap back into her system, even after all that… his touch still lingers in her skin as if she’s still in that present moment. His weight on hers still feels tangible. But the actual weight of the situation and consequence of delving into intimacy further, there and now—

It scared the crap out of her.

Everything makes it more guilty, turning her soft and yet, wet in her core. She wouldn’t admit that, not openly. Fuck…

This is supposed to be like a crush in high school… But his effect on her ought to make a lady out of her.

Why did it have to be the perfect timing they were supposed to do it?

It was awkward after he was about to insert his erection into her drenched core. Although, looking back it’s drenching her more with sweat and distress.

How is it he’s still accommodating to ease her throughout the night, when she's the one who needs to make up for what she did? Or more on, lack there of?

A bit after the incident, Yule apologizes to Vyn for acting in such an embarrassing way during their last meeting.

The flush on her face still aches on how cringe or revolting it was replaying in her head. She can’t assess the situation objectively as she can’t even look at him directly.

He’s just quiet across her, opposite to her difficulty to contain her frantic body language.

Vyn sips into his cup, his face is solemn. “It is fine, I am fit to assess such situations.”

But she's still ashamed as fuck of what happened!

She could only muster up an “okay” even if she was far from being fine, lowering her head.

Yule wanted to go, especially on the way she acted, messy and disoriented. The pensive look of the silver-haired male in front of her made her more disarray with her thoughts.

Being back in his household feels sacrilegious after such events.

Do I even have a right to be in his presence?

The calm demeanor he portrays across her seat answers her unease, more so the softness of his urgency. “No use beating yourself up, come on, the tea is getting cold. The sweetness of the cake may help ease you up.”

Why is he still doing such nice things, still?

“I would like to apologize as well, I may have gone too fast at your pace,” Vyn says, now there is an evident flush across his pale skin, much opaque but enough to see a difference in his expression. He sighs a deep intake of breath but stops it for sounding heavy. Along with his ever-growing… emotions.

He was driven by irrationality as if he's lost some sense of control that night.

It was evident, even until now, they are both feeling the tension, but on her end, the shame and anxiety, and embarrassment eat her up more.

With Vyn, it’s unclear, but it’s faintly implied that there’s tension. He’s still out to tackle and satiate both of them, and pick up where they both left off.

Only then when she’s fine and ready.

“I-I want to as well but I don't know what's up with my body.” Yule is pertaining more to the sudden ‘attack’. And this rotten brain of hers. She also got it checked on her previous therapy sessions, but it immensely bothers her still… She worries over her lips. “I also got a bit ahead with my alcohol that night, but even without the alcohol, I can affirm that I do like you still.”

Her bravery took him back.

Vyn’s lips curled upwards, finding her eyes to magnetize it back into his, then says. “Can we admit that we are attracted to each other to that certain extent?”

Too soon.

But…

Yule worries her lower lips more. I have been feeling the tension lingering for some quite time now.

At least she's getting better at noticing the signals.

But she's still embarrassed.

“I can say it's reciprocal,” she affirms. The sudden gust of the wind blows the smell of the flowers spread out in his garden, the smell of the pastry and tea reigns back their flavor, blending into their space.

“So what now?” She’s surprised herself for the lack of stutter saying that. Confusion mulled over her, panicked at his warmth remaining at arm's length.

“That is also up to you where you would want this to go, Miss Yule. I am interested in you.” His honesty made her retract.

Yule is overwhelmed as a myriad of thoughts domino over her. She’s growing more and more panicked as the man in front of her is still willing to face her after such inconveniences. Most throw me out.

He even made time to meet up and spare his time to invite her over for tea after.

So how is it that he’s willing to even bother to look at her?

“I don't want to lean in too much on you.” she croaked, the anxiety obvious on taking the weight on her sullen face.

Vyn’s face in contrast deflects her agitation.

“Of course, I wouldn't want you to be overly dependent, but I would be by your side to accompany you, alright?”

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