#one has to do with laws which yuck

[xolaanii]

worst part of the job hunting process really is the fucking competency tests like can't i just prove it to you in an interview the fucking test gives me the hives

[shallowbreaths]

This is Mary Vincent, she is the biggest badass alive! At 15 she was attacked, brutal raped, hit in the head with a hammer, she had her arms hacked off with a hatchet, and was then thrown off a cliff by the side of the freeway to die. Her survival story is the shit! She says she heard a voice telling her to keep moving or else others would die, so without arms she managed to pack mud into the wounds so she wouldn’t bleed to death, and then she proceeded to scale the cliff with no arms!! She was completely naked, she had severe head trauma, no arms, and they say she had lost 50% of the blood in her body. After scaling the cliff (which she says took her most of a day), she then walked 3 miles before seeing a car with two men that slowed down, but after getting a good look at her they sped off. To which this badass woman said, “I looked terrifying, I don’t hold it against them at all.” Needless to say, she survived. Before allowing herself to even pass out though, she demanded a sketch artist and provided such detail that the monster’s friend saw it on the news and immediately knew it was him and turned him in. Then she testified against the man, and he somehow managed to whisper to her, “if it takes me the rest of my life I’m going to finish what I started.” Oh yeah, btw, it was HIM that released that detail!

Her family could only talk about how it effected them, it was as if they didn’t realize that it was effecting her too. So she was homeless for a while and she obviously had trouble making and maintaining any meaningful relationships. Her attacker got charged with a long list of crimes and got the maximum sentence at the time…. 14 years! He was released for good behavior after 8!!!!

He then tried to sue her after his release, (as one does after brutally raping someone and then cutting their arms off), but the court threw it out. He then moved to Florida where he was an “upstanding member of the community, and great neighbor.” His neighbors said things like, “of course we didn’t like what he’d done, but life goes on.” Yuck! I know this is shocking, but the asshole killed again and a witness saw it. The police arrived at his house and he was covered in blood still. He tried telling some BS story. The woman he killed (a mother of 3) wasn’t highly thought of because she was a sex worker, that’s one reason why they are so often killed, it’s easier to get away with. SOOOO, Florida asked Mary if she’d face the monster again in order to testify to the man’s nature. This badass said, “Hell yes” and flew down. I really hope she whispered to him, “I’m here to finish what I started.” He was convicted again and put on death row. Unfortunately, God got him with cancer before Florida got to finish his story.

This isn’t about him though, he was a disgusting creep that doesn’t deserve a name. This is about Mary fucking Vincent, the biggest badass of all time. Because of this story, there are now laws instituting mandatory life sentences for certain violent crimes. This is about a woman who uses her experience to help teenagers who are sexually assaulted, even though she STILL suffers from such terrible nightmares that she has woken up trying to escape with such violence that she has literally broken bones doing it several times. This is about the woman who went on to have two sons who she says gave a clear and definite reason to keep going. This is about a girl who at 15 says she couldn’t draw a straight line but grew up to be an artist with no arms, who fashions her own custom prosthetics in order to do the things she wants to do.

I’ve never met this woman, but she is one of my heroes! She is magnificent. Fuck that loser who wound up rotting in a cell alone, it could have been a car crash or a tree falling that caused that damage, he is a gross and barely necessary tool that lead to forging something truly amazing. What she has done, overcome, and made from the pieces is so fucking incredible that she should inspire us all. She was NOT disposable, but how easily she could have been. All she had to do was close her eyes at the bottom of that cliff and go to sleep. I’ll bet she could have quit on herself a million times over the years since 1978, but Mary Vincent doesn’t quit. She took the unimaginable and turned it into art. She IS art!

In Mary’s own words, “This is the third phase of my life since that awful day. I went from victim, to survivor, to artist.” Hell yeah you did Mary!

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

Hi I read in one of your reactions to a question I asked about Ric O'Barry & I am quite interested in that book you mentioned where he bragged about developing a cattle prod to hit the dolphins when they misbehaved. Do you have any idea which book it is & approximately where that information is located?

Hi there, I believe it was Behind the Dolphin Smile and To Free A Dolphin as the main sources of some pretty nasty stuff. Also a lot of gross racism.

Ocean on Twitter took these screenshots while going through the books:

I think this is Behind the Dolphin Smile

Ric asks his buddy to make a “dolphin prod” for Patty who had “gone too far”:

Then he brags about the time he punched Patty - literally no one is making him do this and he seems to actually relish it yuck:

I mean it’s no surprise the guy thinks dolphins get abused in human care - he seemed to enjoy punching a dolphin in the back!

Then in his other book about freeing dolphin he bragged about breaking laws, cutting nets and called dolphins in human care “chubby little clowns” that were all overweight and that’s why he didn’t think the ones he threw out into the wild with no prep weren’t emaciated.

So what is it Ric? Are dolphins in human care starved to perform or are they overweight and getting free food for nothing?

This is Buck after he was rescued btw

Then he implies that it’s easier for the dolphins to just “escape accidentally” rather than get permits ti release

He knew the dolphins who had “escaped” were hungry, he knew they were dependent on people. He thought he could starve them out.

Ah yes 4 days of being forced out into the wild is totally enough time to evaluate whether they can make it out there or not. Not like dolphins have massive blubber reserves they can use if they can’t feed themselves for a few days.

Also he has beef with the Sarasota Dolphin Research project that Randy Wells is in charge of because he doesn’t like that they’re getting data of dolphins dying in the wild

It’s wild to me that people read his book and still worship him. So so gross.

[dollfaceksj]

you’re a writer but you’re also a reader, right? what are things that you don’t like to read? like if you saw it in a fic it’d make you not read it

aurrr i’m very picky abt that actually!!! things that’d make me close the fic right away (aside from the extreme stuff like cnc, gore, rpe, race play, s/a, incest, abuse/domestic violence etc.)

idol aus (when its them being the idols we know them as, not them just being a famous person in an au)

unplanned pregnancy

first person pov (i just can’t do it)

only fluff (so no conflict/angst)

established relationship (without conflict.. yawn!)

this one irks me A LOT: when it’s a reader insert (you describe the character using ‘you’ pronouns and use ‘y/n’) but you describe the reader’s appearance. (skin tone, hair texture, body) just call it an original character at this point. you’re actively contributing to beauty standards. this is not 2013 wattpad😭 don’t say his shirt is like a dress on y/n, don’t say he ran his fingers through y/n’s hair, use alternatives. instead of saying your cheeks blushed or turned red, say your cheeks heated up, it wouldn’t change anything about the plot of the story but would make your story a whole lot more inclusive. black/women of color or fat women shouldn’t be an afterthought. we too have the right to imagine ourselves as the main character without you pushing beauty standards down our throats even in fictional spaces which we use to escape the reality of them

abo or hybrids (it’s just never happening babes.) vampires are the only thing i’ll give a chance but even then im iffy abt them

age gaps that are *too* big/one of them has known the other since they were a little kid even if they’re both adults now/one of them is a step parent or parent in law(YUCK!)

yandere aus are a yes or no for me. it needs to be written rlly well for me to like

i’m not big on royalty/historical stuff either

high school au cus what?😭

can’t think of any others rn but im sure there are.. so just know i’m rlly picky

[danganronpa-ship-tourney]

Wait why don't U like SaiOuma?

Im putting this under a cut so that anyone that does not want to see me absolutely hating on this ship for like ten paragraphs can skip

I do not like it! It's boring! Every time I see it both characters are stripped to just cute fluff! It's fucking everywhere! Both characters 9/10 times are WILDLY out of character, ESPECIALLY Kokichi. They always like, redeem him and be like "see he stopped lying" or just be a fluffy uwu nuisance instead of being y'know, a criminal, basically completely changing his character for shuichi even though kokichi CANONICALLY SAYS THIS IF YOU BRING UP FOR HIM TO STOP LYING

Then they completely wash out ALL of Shuichi's interesting points! His hypocrisy! His being pretty firmly on the side of the law! The way Shuichi does not like Kokichi even as a friend through the base game! He literally leaves him bleeding and concussed! The very few fics between the two I like almost always plays on what it means for Shuichi to be on the side of "good" and kokichi on the side of "evil" and if it's ACTUALLY so clear cut.

This would maybe be less annoying if it wasn't like I said FUCKING EVERYWHERE you cannot go TWO SECONDS without finding it if you care about either character. It's completely and utterly inescapable! They're both made so goddamn ooc to make cookie cutter rival x protag content with basically none of what makes either of them INTERESTING as a dynamic. It is single handedly the most generic mlm ship in this whole fucking fandom and I cannot stand it outside of a handful of exceptions.

Seeing it is an almost instant turn off on any concept for me because when I want Kokichi content, I ACTUALLY WANT KOKICHI not that watered down "gay gay ooo my only personality traits are gay panta and excitable" Kokichi that most of the fandom seems to make him. Which is admittedly a problem with Kokichi in the fandom as a whole not just here but it's where I see it the most.

There is potentially here, I've seen it done well, one of my favorite fics is this pairing, but 99.9% of the time it's just, utter garbage. Which honestly just makes it even more annoying because it means I know it can be done well but it never gets done well!

People can like it if they want, and that's none of my business, don't let my yuck effect your yum, but personally? I cannot stand it. I swear to the gods above if I have to hear emo boy with kokichi and shuichi one more time I will lose it.

Most of the time theres just nothing fucking there, people just have taken two very interesting characters and replaced all the intrigue with just hot air and cotton! There's nothing there! At least pregame has something fucking happening!

Plus the fanbase is known for being incredibly loud and annoying, there's a reason like more then half of all the submissions for it mentions the fanbase in some way and I hope it wins the whole thing.

Yeah! Don't like it! Maybe wouldn't care so much if it wasnt basically every other thing, but it is, so I just have to suffer.

[annelise-draws]

OC-Tober Day 5: Relationships

A day late and I wanted to do my other collab children with Vafalls, but this was already crowding too many characters into one pic and there are so many AUs there, as tends to happen with characters you've had for over a decade. So here are my collab children with @carolmaclaine. Transcript and details under cut!

Isidore:

to Cassis: You make me feel alive again. (He's super gushy about Cassis. He will wax poetic for days. He hates everything about himself but Cassis loving him is a constant surprise and a reason to keep on...living? He doesn't know if he should call it that)

to Viorica: She's nice, but her taste in men... yuck. (He likes Viorica fine enough, but the fact that she's attracted to Johann, one of his least favorite people, makes him respect her a little less)

to Eloise: Younger sister, my ride-or-die. (Due to the lack of parental affection in their childhood, they're very close. Around the time he was banned from the lavish balls his father would throw, she'd take breaks and sneak him petit fours and wine so she could commiserate with him. Also distract her father and guards while he would go shag some knights.)

to Marcel: Younger brother. We aren't that close. (Sadly... they're not. There's nearly a 20 year age gap between them, but he harbors no ill feelings towards the guy.)

to Johann: I'm gonna get your brother pregnant. (He likes to mess with Johann. Given that Johann was sort of his boss when he was resurrected and tried to arrest Cassis and have him stolen back and constantly referred to Isidore as a monster/freak/thing, Isidore does not have much warm feelings towards him.)

Cassis:

to Isidore: Aww! I love you too! (He's not entirely sure how to deal with Isidore's self-depreciation, but he really loves the guy and he feels lucky to have him in his life. He wants to help him out as best as he can.)

to Viorica: Former student! So proud of her! (Viorica wasn't particularly interested in the subjects he was teaching, but took one of his classes on a whim. The two developed a friendship, and she was there to patch up his hand when he blew it off.)

to Tisane: Little guy! (He's a little guy)

to Eloise: Sister-in-law? She's so nice. :) (Nothing particularly interesting here! They're both sweeties haha)

to Marcel: Nerdy little nephew, aww... (Even though Marcel is technically his brother-in-law, the large age difference makes him seem more like a nephew. Marcel is interested in academia, and he likes talking to Cassis about magical studies.)

to Johann: Older Brother! So cool! (Despite everything his brother has done, he still loves him. They were close in their childhoods, and he has always respected and looked up to him.

Viorica:

to Isidore: I'm glad Cassis found somebody. (Cassis had... quite a reputation of getting dumped a lot when he was a professor. She thinks Isidore's a good fit for him, even if he can be a bit of pain in the ass.)

to Cassis: Former Professor, I owe him a lot. (Cassis being openly queer helped her to realize she was trans, which is what helped them become friends.)

to Tisane: My son! (Tisane cannot be released back in to the wild due to the fact that he is practically toothless. Viorica loves him and he loves her u v u)

to Eloise: Great friend! (On account of being the Only Women Here, she likes to hang out with Eloise to get away from the dudes. Sometimes she feels a little embarrassed with how much Elle spoils her, but that's how she shows her love...)

to Johann: Be kinder to yourself. (A big reason for their relationship is that Johann has neglected his well-being after an injury that ruined his knight career, which she helped him take care of and recover. He still beats himself up for not being as strong as he used to be, but this is the only Johann he's ever met, and she loves him regardless!)

Eloise:

to Isidore: I know your murder was an inside job and I will avenge you. (She was... really shaken up by his murder. Finding out that he wasn't as dead as previously discovered was great, but his his memory being a little shoddy her revenge had to wait. Still, he's incredibly important to her, and she's glad he's back in her life.)

to Cassis: My brother is lucky to have you! (She loves this guy! And she's glad that Isidore finally has the opportunity to be openly in love with a man.)

to Viorica: Bestie! (As said earlier, they like to hang out! She spoils Viorica, who is used to roughing it up in the wilderness, with nice clothes and nights on the town and spa days. Vi gets a little overwhelmed with this, but she never had much of an opportunity to wear fancy dresses before...)

to Tisane: Cute!!! (Viorica will bring him over for girls nights and after a few glasses of wine they usually end up dressing him in cute outfits. He does not like this, but he allows them...)

to Marcel: Protective. (After Isidore's murder, she's been pretty protective over him. Understandably so!)

to Johann: He's nicer than he looks. (Johann was a frequent hire for her father's parties. She spoke to him while his facial scars were pretty new, and they struck a friendship. She thinks it's a funny coincidence that their brothers are dating.)

Johann:

to Isidore: YOU WILL NOT [impregnate my brother]. (VIORICA TOLD HIM THAT THIS WAS NOT MEDICALLY POSSIBLE!!! STOP SAYING THAT!!! Their relationship is strained thanks to all of their former church baggage, and also the fact that Johann is a Good Fantasy Catholic Boy and Isidore is so relentlessly horny for his brother that it makes him really uncomfortable.)

to Cassis: You forgive me too easily. (He really does. Johann doesn't like how quickly Cassis has forgiven him for being a shitty brother, to the point where he's happy that Isidore is at least a bit abrasive. Also, he doesn't think Cassis should emphasize how much older he is;;; there's only a six month difference between them!)

to Viorica: I don't deserve you. (He's never been in a serious relationship before, so Viorica's presence in his life has been life-changing. He loves her, and he feels so lucky to have someone as smart and patient as her helping him out.)

to Tisane: Quit biting holes into my socks. (He will not. Tisane is a menace.)

to Eloise: A good friend with a terrible brother (not Marcel). (As stated earlier, Eloise would talk with him during parties, something he was not used to but thankful for. He didn't know Isidore at the time, thanks to his usual banning from the party floor, but he was horrified to learn that such a kind lady has such a menace for a brother.

[b-dubs-valdubs]

inspired by this amazing art by @briseise :))

fic under the cut, or you can read it on ao3 :)

CW: KIDNAPPING, THREATS, SHIPPING

---------------

Cleo sat in the meeting, uttlerly bored out of her mind, listening to the King droning on and on about the various acts of treason committed by the Resistance this week. Huge yawn. Who even cares that much about a statue?

What's worse, Bdubs was making that face again, watching the King intently, large eyes glittering. Yuck. Get a room already.

Cleo tapped her fingers on the polished wood table, letting the voices of the King and his court melt into the background. It was clear that Ren definitely had a soft spot for Bdubs, one glace at the way they looked at each other would tell you as much. But it also showed in the meetings; whenever Bdubs had an idea it was always "good idea, my hand" and "I agree, my treasure." Gross, gross, gross.

It was also very clear that Ren is like a fish out of water when Bdubs isn't there by his side. Like when Bdubs fell ill one week, and Ren had to check up on him every ten minutes, barely fulfilling any kingly duties and letting his so-called loyal court do all of the work for him.

One thing was for certain though: if Cleo had to watch either of them ogle at each other one more time, she just might puke. Or join the resistance. Or both.

"Lady Cleo? Art thou listening?" the King's voice boomed, as he stood there with folded arms and a raised eyebrow. Bdubs mirrored him, glaring daggers into them. Great.

"Uh, yeah, of course I was! How dare the Resistance do... whatever they're doing now!"

She was lucky that the diamond glasses partially hid her eyeroll.

Honestly, Cleo has had enough. They're barely appreciated in this court, and with the King decreeing new ridiculous laws every day, joining the Resistance started to look more and more attractive to them.

Now, to the average person, what Cleo does next may seem a little... drastic. But it was completely necassary! Besides, the King had it coming anyways, who knows how the Resistance didn't spot his little weakness sooner.

Cleo strode over to Bdubs's door, knocking sharply on it three times. She immediately heard rustling and jangling from within the door, before a muffled voice called out: "Coming, my majesty!"

Ew.

Soon after, the large oak double door swung open and Bdubs emerged, grinning. He was covered in golden jewellery - gifts from the King, presumably - and dark makeup tickled his eyelids. As for his clothes, a dark green corset with a pure white silk shirt and dark trousers, alongside boots with a small heel. White wings, fading to green at the end of their wingspan, sat comfortably through little holes in a moss cape, which now had little pink flowers blooming on it.

Upon setting eyes on the person before him, Bdubs's brow furrowed, and his smile faded. "Cle-?"

Cleo grabbed him and held a hand to his mouth. "Shut up," she hissed, "Don't make a sound."

Bdubs whimpered, trying to struggle away from her vice-like grip, but Cleo simply picked him up and carried him over her shoulder, using her elytra to fly out of a window to remain unseen. He wriggled, trying desperately to free himself, flapping his wings to try and fly away. Cleo readjusted her grip, pressing her arm into Bdubs's wings to prevent them from moving.

"What- what are you doing?" Bdubs whispered, unable to stop the fear seeping into his voice, "I- I have a date with the King, you know! And he- he'll be looking for me! Then you'll see!"

"Do you ever just shush, Bdubs?" Cleo growled in his ear, "It's none of your business what I'm doing."

She suddenly swooped down, causing Bdubs to scream, even after they were both firmly on the ground.

Well, Cleo was firmly on the ground. Bdubs was still lying over her shoulder, and still making a racket.

"Oh my Void you're gonna give me a headache..." Cleo muttered as she entered a cave.

<ZombieCleo> whispers to <Soup Group Groupchat!>: hey, might have something of interest for you

<ZombieCleo> whispers to <Soup Group Groupchat!>: come to these coordinates: ...

<ZombieCleo> whispers to <Soup Group Groupchat!>: ... and be quick about it!

The Soup Group excitedly rushed over to the coordinates that Cleo had sent them. It may well be a trap, Cleo was a part of the Royal Court of course, but she never seemed too loyal to them anyways. Just in case, they went into the cave one at a time, Gem at the front with her sword, and Impulse at the back.

The cave seemed unassuming at first, but they soon noticed a few stone buttons laying around. One of them opened a simple piston door, which led to a narrow spiral staircase. The lighting inside was dim, a few torches here and there - and the walls were a plain stone, dug out in a hurry. Eventually, the staircase opened up into a small room with a door on the back wall. Cleo was sitting on a bench inside the room, and at the sight of the Soup Group, their eyes lit up in relief.

"Thank goodness you're here, I was about to die of boredom," they sighed, before rising from their seat and walking towards the door. "Follow me."

The Soup Group looked at each other, before trailing after her. The new room was also dimly lit, and was cut in half by a wall of iron bars. On the other side, a mossy figure lay facing away from the bars, rope tied around his waist and wings.

"Oh, Void!" Impulse exclaimed, stepping away from the bars.

"Cleo... this isn't right..." Gem gasped, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing! Yet..." Cleo shrugged, "Just kinda grabbed him and took him here I guess."

Bdubs made a growling noise, trying to roll over to the bars. Once he was facing the others, he bared his teeth. "You aren't doing anything to me! Ever! Because Ren's coming for me and you all will get thrown into the dungeon once he finds out what you've done!"

Cleo smirked. "Oh, yeah, your precious King has been messaging you on your comm. He's so worried about his little treasure."

"HEY!"

"Y'know, Cleo," Pearl began, "I'm all for the chaos and everything, but I agree with the others. This is just way too far..."

"Look," Cleo said emphatically, "We can either get some information out of him, use him to blackmail the King, and stand a chance at winning this war. Or, if you guys are too scared, we can just let him roam free, babble to his King about everything we've done, and sentence us all to rotting away in the dungeons. What do you choose?"

Impulse looked into Bdubs's eyes. He knew Bdubs, he knew that he was trying to hide his fear. And Impulse felt awful about it.

"Let's... let's do your thing then, Cleo," Impulse muttered, firmly breaking the eye contact between himself and Bdubs. He didn't have to be looking at Bdubs to imagine the hurt painted on his face.

The other Soup Group members quietly muttered their agreement; Cleo hummed, satisfied. "Good. So you," she pointed at Bdubs, and he couldn't help but flinch back a little, "Are going to cooperate. Or else."

[deathblizzard]

Does Rukia ever have any mistrust or hesitations about getting back into a gigai after her... uh... previous experience?

;Her current feelings towards gigai are pretty relaxed, despite everything. I would say she has a bit of mistrust but it’s subtle and probably not how you would expect. There’s a couple things that make me lean that way though.

With technology, which I consider gigai to lie in, Rukia is pretty uninterested in anything besides what it can do. She tends to focus on the results more than any process or details. Despite her past experiences with gigai, using them currently has a better benefit that outweighs any hesitation she could have. Seeing people and being able to yuck around in the world of the living is far too fun and interesting for her to hesitate. I feel like it’s kind of being screwed around on a phone/internet company bill but staying with the same contract, cause you still need a phone/internet anyways. As long as the thing functions properly and meets expectations, she’s pretty happy.

I tried thinking about her feelings upon her time in it around the first arc-ish, and tried to think if she would feel them again upon returning to a gigai again, and I don’t think so. Most of her emotions there lean more towards frustrations with its unresponsiveness, which doesn’t seem like it would repeat upon entering a proper one. During the first arc I don’t think she felt trapped in it either; I think she thought she could leave it if she wanted to. I wondered if she considered exiting it for a moment to just feel like herself, but I don’t think she would risk that at that point, and I kind of picture that she sees being in her shinigami form as weaker than the state of being in the gigai at that point. She looked at it as a point of hiding, both from hollows and the soul society, considering she had still thought to have broken some law already. I don’t think she’s overwritten those feelings with too many thoughts by the time she gets the truth on the matter.

I think she tends to lean putting blame on people rather than objects. Like, I think if you have her rubix cube or some kind of frustrating object, rather than calling the object frustrating to work with, she’d probably call whoever gave it to her or herself stupid before calling the thing itself stupid, or call it stupid along with who gave it to her at least. Or if she feels like she’s bad at something, say calligraphy, she would think it’s her lack of skill before she would blame her tools.

Which is why those emotions, even those previously emotions of frustration from before, she shifts more to herself, and maybe Urahara(although I think she gets to a point of forgiveness with Urahara). But Rukia has a major habit of thinking too hard and blaming herself for things most of the time, so she carries it more on her own shoulders. 

Maybe more than hesitation or mistrust I feel like she might double check herself every once in a while in a gigai. In little subtle ways, like making sure she can still fire a kidou spell upon entering one, or stretching her arm or limbs or something more than she normally would all the time while in one. Or like, often testing her agileness with full on sprints at most opportunities where it's not that off putting. She finds herself and her instincts more reliable than measurements and scientific things so if she can lean on those for support it would lessen any mistrust and is a sort of comfort. And, more than a typical soul I think she would be aware and bothered by any sort of dysfunction or lack of mobility while in one, which is an after effect of everything. I think she would also be more harassing if it lets up even a little on her (and probably feels very justified and righteous in bothering Urahara to fix any issue there lol). But she definitely tries to give herself a bit more reassurance in the state of herself while in her gigai.

I feel like a lot of that ‘situation’ Rukia still carries on her own shoulders, and she thinks of it more as occurring from her choice of giving her powers. She considers her own action as the first domino that fell to get everything as it was, and even that feeling of a gigai like that is still pushed on herself because it's pushed into that tangled yarn ball. I think her lack of powers is more of a burning scar than restrictiveness in a gigai.

[ratatatastic]

find a blorbo!: a tag game for the new NHL season

i got tagged by @mikathemad (woo! yippee! they say with as much enthusiasm as a thing who has been baptised in the cold waters of haterade as a young babe can be enthused about having to play nice with teams i dont like which is all of them)

RULES: Go through the roster of each NHL team and find at least one player that you can root for.

Yes, even the team you despise. Yes, even the team everyone despises. Yes, even the team who you dare not speak of.

(different font colours to mark teams i root for/team-in-laws aka my close friends roots for them and i will be executed by the government if i don't also root for them even if i grumble a bit about it

and for the sake of this exercise i wont mention ex-cats or ex-pens just assume im still rooting for them despite the fact they wont be named here)

Anaheim Ducks - team-in-law

Boston Bruins - (sooner i would rather die by a sword) Jeremy Swayman, Nikita Zadorov

Buffalo Sabres - i root for this team in the same way i root for a turtle flipped on its back in the middle of the road and i am across the street stuck in my car

Calgary Flames - Nazem Kadri, Devin Cooley, Dustin Wolf

Carolina Hurricanes - Seth Jarvis, Sebastian Aho

Chicago Hockey Team - Pat Maroon

Colorado Avalanche - Nathan MacKinnon, Mikko Rantanen, Gabe Landeskog

Columbus Blue Jackets - Adam Fantilli

Dallas Stars - Miro Heiskanen, Roope Hintz

Detroit Red Wings - Dylan Larkin

Edmonton Oilers - (with a gun to my head) Jeff Skinner

Florida Panthers - come on these are MY guys

Los Angeles Kings - Anze Kopitar, Quinton Byfield

Minnesota Wild - team-in-law

Montreal Canadiens - Patrik Laine, Arber Xhekaj

Nashville Predators - Juuse Saros, Magnus Chrona, Luke Prokop

New Jersey Devils - Jesper Bratt

New York Islanders -

New York Rangers - Mika Zibanejad, Artemi Panarin, Kaapo Kakko

Ottawa Senators - Brady Tkachuk, Claude Giroux, Linus Ullmark (because i can root for him in good conscious now lol)

Philadelphia Flyers - Matvei Michkov, Joel Farabee

Pittsburgh Penguins - they're my second team so lol

San Jose Sharks - Thomas Bordeleau (weird mate man i simply have to root for him), Fabian Zetterlund

Seattle Kraken - Philipp Grubauer, Joey Daccord (winter classic, cal raleigh, need i say more)

St. Louis Blues - Mathieu Joseph

Tampa Bay Lightning - (once again YUCK) Victor Hedman, Andrei Vasilevskiy

Toronto Maple Leafs - (oh boy do i have to) Jani Hakanpää

Utah Hockey Club - Liam O'Brien, Mikhail Sergachev

Vancouver Canucks - Connor Garland, Artūrs Šilovs

Vegas Golden Knights - (quite frankly id rather eat a bucket of rocks so) Ilya Samsonov

Washington Capitals - Brandon Duhaime, Dylan Strome

Winnipeg Jets - Kaapo Kähkönen

too lazy to tag whoever sees it is it i suppose so you 🫵 yes you 🫵‼️

[trappolia]

do you have any of your head canons for rhys and aenea :33 or information about their relationships with other characters :0 or or choices you’ve made within each playthrough.. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I DONT UNDERSTAND 💗💗💗

i do in fact have some hcs about them !! tw once again for the long post </3

rhys is a neutral evil character !! it's why he got along so well w/ gortash (lawful evil character who could allow rhys access to many, many benefits) and crashed horribly w/ orin the red (chaotic evil). though he certainly has very violent tendences (see: his reign of terror as a child that accumulated in his foster father's death) and fantasises about gore and bloodshed more so than a regular bhaalspawn, he's actually very put-together if not provoked (or aroused, in gortash's case) — which is why he worked so well as a cog in the absolute scheme. he's a very serious character as well, and it shows in his taste (black coffee ... takes his whiskey neat ... only likes bitter food).

HOWEVER! if he has one downfall, then it is that he is horribly high-maintenance — more so than astarion, if you can even believe it. he was of noble background, so he was served by a whole team of staff all day every day until his downfall as a noble heir, and even after being taken to the temple of bhaal, he refused to sleep in that nasty, mouldy place ... stale blood is yuck, even if it is blood and gore and all the things the son of bhaal loves. scleritas fel has been mauled a few too many times for not finding a suitable place of boarding for the beloved son ...

oh, and don't even get me started on when rhys started sleeping w/ gortash. based on this post here, i love how it's basically canon that gortash spoiled durge rotten. it doesn't matter that rhys used to be cosplaying as a rich man like he was before, he's now legitimately rich. i'm talking about being gifted not only fresh corpses or terrified citizens to torment, but also jewels, fine fabrics, embroidered clothes — hell, even a whole suite in gortash's estate that is not fucking necessary because rhys sleeps with gortash in his chambers anyway. they are literally faerun's most annoying couple — but it is also vital to me that you understand this: gortash and rhys were truly, genuinely in love (even if it was a warped display of what love is) i literally think about them every day.

+

as for aerea ! she's a neutral good character; wyll's voicelines mention how she was generally an upstanding noble heiress growing up until any incident where her morals are being compromised ... duke ravengard has had to pull several strings to get her out of trouble, but she never got any proper scolding for it because she does have decent morals (unlike a certain brother of hers...) and so her acting out was actually called for. there have been incidents where aerea got overly attached and was unable to make a rational decision (see: gale's dilemma with the orb) but it all worked out in the end (he does not blow himself up in this playthrough, i promise).

like rhys, aerea is spoiled ... except she's really, properly spoiled. however, unlike rhys (who lacked a proper parental figure for FOREVER) she was taught manners, so she's generally better at sucking things up and keeping quiet about how she wants to be back in her estate at baldur's gate, sleeping on her silken bedsheets and feathered pillows ... evidently, she's been going through torture while on the road. she also shares rhys' love for the finer things in life, though her wardrobe palette is significantly ... well, lighter than his. she has a sweet tooth too! wyll used to sneak her sweets during lessons (they were tutored together).

aerea is also much, much more popular amongst the companions than rhys is in his own playthrough ... which is ironic because her nickname as a child was literally "the bitch princess" (reference to her general personality + her worship of the bitch queen umberlee). they adore this tiny half-drow with her odd tendencies and her self-sacrificial habits of throwing herself into the line of fire for any of them (she has known all of them except for wyll for a grand total of three days). the people's princess, truly.

+

but the siblings as a duo ... oh, what tragedy. rhys is canonically dead in aerea's playthrough, and rhys has no memory of aerea in his playthrough ... which would mean a blank slate for them to start anew as a proper family, if rhys had not chosen to become bhaal's special little boy and start on his rampage to massacre the entire fucking world. since aerea is somewhat exempt from his bloodlust, i feel that she'd somehow survive the shit that goes down in baldur's gate and start to gather forces to rebel against what was once her brother ... oh my god. oh my fucking god i don't even want to think about it. holds my head in my fucking hands.

but them as children !!! oh, what joy. i hc that they managed to stay together up until they were 10 or so ?? no older than 11, surely. they were raised as twins even though rhys is by right a few years older than aerea ... whether he just ages slow or she aged quickly during her youth, i haven't decided yet. but due to the circumstances of aerea's birth, they were very much attached at the hip !! it's actually the reason why scleritas fel separated them, since rhys couldn't achieve True Bhaalspawn form while his sister was nullifying his bloodlust ... bhaal's acolytes just really hate to see a decent pair of siblings (they preferred orin and her doing little lobotomies on her older brother ... fun). but before shit went down, they were so happy !! snuck around together a lot, ate snacks, played pranks on citizens passing by underneath the balcony (aerea has had to stop rhys from dropping a potted plant on their heads more than once) ... ah, bliss.

[calcbench]

The Calcbench Q3 Quarterly Wrap-Up

Good news for analysts everywhere just before the Thanksgiving holiday: Calcbench has released its Q3 2023 Wrap-Up, so you have something to read surreptitiously on your phone while the in-laws gripe about politics.

We release our wrap-ups at the end of every earnings season (you probably figured out that part already) to study broad trends in revenue, net income, capital spending, and other important metrics. This quarter’s report tallies up the data for more than 3,300 non-financial firms — not quite every filer that’s out there, but more than enough to give us a sense of this quarter’s corporate performance. 

Most notably, we saw an 11.8 percent increase in net income compared to the year-earlier period. That compares to more modest increases in capital expenditures (up 3.4 percent) and inventory (up 1.7 percent), and overall revenue actually edged downward by 1.1 percent. See Figure 1, below.

(To be clear, all firms included in this report filed earnings for Q3 in both 2023 and 2022, for the most apples-to-apples comparison.)

The Q3 Wrap-Up also examines three specific sectors: retail, software, and chemicals, to get a sense of how performance varied from one sector to another.

Sometimes that performance varied by a lot. The 230 companies in our retail group, for example, reported a year-over-year jump in net income of 148.4 percent, while capital expenditures dropped 11.2 percent. Various specific companies had equally impressive numbers. Walmart ($WMT) revenue rose 5 percent; Amazon.com ($AMZN) net income jumped from $2.9 billion to $9.9 billion.

Meanwhile, the software sector saw year-over-year revenue rise 9.5 percent, while net income rose 72.7 percent — led, not surprisingly, by tech giants such as Facebook ($META), Google ($GOOG), and Microsoft ($MSFT), which all reported multi-billion dollar increases in profit. See Figure 2, below.

The highlights in this report are a great place to start when analyzing Q3, but they certainly do not tell individual stories of specific companies. For example, Berkshire Hathaway ($BRKA) reported a year-over-year revenue of $16.3 billion (yay!) and a decrease in net income of $9.8 billion (yuck). To find out more about the specific companies you follow, you’ll need to do more digging and reading in the footnote disclosures. 

For example, did you know Berkshire reported investment losses of $24.1 billion in the quarter? We did, because our Interactive Disclosure tool lets you dig into the footnotes and bring those important kernels of insight to the surface in short order. 

Try Calcbench’s suite of products to get more data and details yourself!

[castle-dominion]

c3x19 law & murder

Edit: I'm gathering clips for tumblr rn but it is taking way long & I am disorganizing my clips so I might need to pause for the day, even tho these dvds are overdue at the library...

This guy is sending looks over all scary-like, & this guy looks like he needs to ask for help or a break soon. Why ask him? Why not ask the people who are already beside you? bc this guy is wearing a suit & looks like he knows what's going on? It reminds me of that story where a boyfriend breaks up with his gal bc she is uncaring & then she's ruminating on this on the bus & when someone dies right in front of her she does care; she cares that he coughed up blood onto her shoe.

Don't u usually go to crime scenes & THEN they go to court?

Casually picks up a big, unsmoothied celery leaf what's the sense in living longer if you have to drink that We call em professional development days here bc in catholic school we also had faith development days so two FD days would make no sense, we had to have PD days & FD days. Father daughter <3 wait alexis why r u mumbling into that drink? She did not she LOVES my breakfast smoothies! Going to take another sip before he realizes what he's doing Pick up a gal there, mr castle ;) Weird way to answer the phone ("for castle press one")

Brought a coffee : ) Castle & his poker group (won't clip) (except he walks into the wall & that was funny) Ah cyanide. I had a cyanide interest one. Mm the coffee bitterness could hide the cyanide bitterness. (read a fic once where someone used almond flavoured coffee, or almond milk or smth)

Dirtbag trifecta XD clipping this (& getting their outfits) Oh outfit update: Espt: leather jacket, lapels as usual, collared shirt underneath with zippered breast pockets, badge on neck, no tie. Ryan: brown overcoat, grey vest (I think), lighter, warm purply grey dress shirt, red tie. Maybe it's a blue dress shirt. That was my initual thought but it's so warm. & it is also patterned, not with ink I think but with texture. Becks: Red coat (tho I think it a different coat than the one we've seen her in before), scarf, other stuff under that which I cannot see due to the scarf but I see how her shirt's buttons are on a white lining & tbh it's kinda ugly. Castle: His usual. Blue shirt. Black jacket. Looks nice & dark too, not the usual technically-grey-but-we-call-it-black black. I mean it is technically grey but shush.

Heck yeah don't let your client speak to people

Good on the son for stopping the dad.

Lot of camera time. Love the way ryan said that & his outfit & there's just smth abt his cadence & tone & how much he lets his voice vibrate What was that "oh you do?" thing? He's a detective, ofc he got an apb out.

Second chances, but not fifth chances, I respect that. Man also has a decent outfit. Having watched this episode, I notice. Brother: He looked out for people. *eye contact just for a sec but I felt it*

(I don't rly know what to clip...) I'm marked for death, man!

Ugh. Big scary black guy we get it shut up bro. I liked you at first. Now you're just annoying & repeating that right in front of LT, a tall, black, intimidating cop Oh would you look at that chance. Weird how they just have TVs in the corners like that. & ryan can just easily pull up the footage to that exact moment? He might have had it bookmarked ig... Calls him cousin wardell lmao killer cup of joe that was great that was great

I mean yeah (the juror badges on their shirts might be a hint) He's not wrong tho rich powerful white friends can feel safe Yep, this man has a point

gsp tracked her phone with precinct supplies? Yuck. oh nvm with an app This is why I always have my location off. Mr app man. & be justified! He's right I guess... (remember this for s7)

She says it's cyanide laced but then says it isn't? Weird way to phrase it. He died approximately one hour after taking the meds, maybe he took em at 8.07 not 8.13 exactly. True, but that doesn't necessarily mean the killer is a woman

(Clipping this) KR: Isn't every murder a tragedy? esposito implied backstory moments (we will see in abt two seasons) Why's he quoting sum kinda poetry? Is that Shakespeare? JE, looking at him, eyebrows crunched: Bro u'r not castle KR: Yeah I know I'm not castle JE: Then stop trying to talk like him KR: What, I'm not allowed to reference the bard? (so yes shaksp) (door creaks & blows; they draw their guns) KR: I'm a renaissance man (sure bestie) JE: Memorizing one quote does not make you a renaissance man. (reminds me of that scene in stranger things where Steve just Can't quote sherlock holmes) KR: What if I memorized two? (No... No babe) JE: Have you? Memorized two? KR: No (AFSDJKH) but what if I did? (BRO I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW IT WORKS also u called yourself a renaissance man & you're quoting "the bard" but you only know one? I mean I love it but dang what is even going on?) JE: KR: *nods upwards at the door* (me: sjhfksjdhjh) JE: Depends on the quote *opens door* (ok I'd like to point out that these two are just having a conversation while assuming someone is back there & waiting to shoot them. Or maybe they're conversing so that the person back there doesn't realize they're onto him.) & then this guy comes running out & Ryan flips him over his shoulder like a wrestling takedown but actually it's more like what my parents used to do for swing dancing except insted of landing on her feet, he fell on the ground; & ryan stretches his neck after that stunt. But Guns Don't Make Sounds When You Flail Them Around

my man looks a bit like marcus gates tbh

They tested Every Capsule So tru bestie. Ex-con instincts. I hear the cops & I hide. I like this man. I also looove their outfits. Ryan's hair is so spikey. they are so in synch.

I did it I did it I did it! You killed him? Oh my god no! I love her

sad that the clerk doesn't have the money for rent. I love her XD

Ooh Captain's tie! Purple, patterned but quiet.

Castle say "I have connections" not "a friend went there" She looks so much younger back in this season tbh, she's so baby. I think lack of eyeliner is part of it. Don't reveal your hand. Say you trust her. Say you trust her. Ask her to trust you too, tell her you won't be mad. Say you are concerned & you want her to tell you, you don't want to pry. (Cool dads don't pry.) ok but now he knows you took the train there & bought something with your bank card. Technically I would have to be the government to do that.

Beckett is so right. It doesn't matter to alexis if what he did was so wrong.

is it at all possible? YES! did I know anything? NO! At least he asks the son/brother for confirmation.

Karnacki. Lou Karnacki. District attorney.

Ew I remember this episode now. This DA thing. Once. Today.

Ew idk if this outfit is ok or if ryan's yellow tie is just straight up ugly. I can't tell. Brown jacket, nice dark-ish somewhat desaturated green, yellow tie. Plus a little irish flag. (oh fun story, yesterday I was driving with my mom bc I was volunteering at her work & I saw a flag, it was hanging oddly so I couldn't tell if it was the flag of india or ireland. I said this out loud & then mum asked if I had used hand sanitizer. "Why?" 'because it smells like alcohol in here' & then I looked out the window & the building with the flag & in big fancy writing on the side surrounded by art it said: Irish Centre of [City]. Actually I fudged the timeline a bit but this is basically what happened.) & esposito's outfit is like smth I would wear at home. It is not a shirt I'd wear to work. Nice long sleeves, blue, buttons but no collar. Castle's blue shirt actually has red on it castle & his apps XD My man needs a real magnifying glass not just an app. XD clipping this three reasons thing JE: Nice. *smacks castle's shoulder* RC: Ah JE: Sorry. *pats his shoulder gently*

Maybe he just thought it was fun to be part of the jury of a murder he did. Maybe he'll make a habit of killing ppl & serving on their juries

12 angry men was a great show.

he is the victim AND suspect but FOR DIFFERENT MURDERS Six degrees of separation bro

You found the phone or CSU found the phone? KR, in a secretary voice: District attorney's office uwu

Oh I love Dawn. Second time he's in the precinct, & all for this Girl u probably should speak in a more polite tone just to preserve his ego. Lou DA man chill tf out (the camera-ing is good) I agree you should have told him but I'm glad you didn't bc it revealed stuff abt him.

Sorry my little bro is playing portal two & I've been listening to him & I just died when wheatley said "I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall" bc he literally just breaks it down.

Castle is sure holding that coffee weird. So Beckett can pick it up. KB: Yes? *smiles a bit* I like castle's ampersand.

At least this man has a lawyer. Auto theft, not murder. So valid. that bad boy was all the way back My dad is 6'5" my mom is 5'4", switching car seats sucked. The ONLY prints they found were his? sus. (sherlock holmes: the hardest part to see is the thing that is not there. or smth like that idk)

Yes otherwise we'd just be looking for tall people.

playing cards in the foreground Yes communication & apologies & alexis being pretty & hold on he has naked heat as a background? Mum said u put stuff u care abt there (my old phone had a lockscreen & background of unus annus) & then mum showed the pic of my brothers & me uwu. *mumbling* yw wr shhplhftng? Girl your friends went shoplifting? They're kids, they're girls who go to a good school why would they do that? For the thrill of it? I'm glad you're telling ur dad but maybe don't talk about this in the police station. & hey, it was very smart of you to leave the money & the note to rectify the wrong without implicating your friends or getting anyone arrested. Good on you. (Except u'r not the one who should have paid for it.) Oh & rick definitely shoplifted as a kid. She's not going to narc on them & heck yeah rick, angry & proud. Judged by the company you keep Girl don't make a promise u can't keep. Gives him a little pat before leaving.

WAIT FEELING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FRIENDS YOU KEEP A PLOT B PLOT

I don't think I'll clip that thing with alexis

Only two sets of prints? Not Lyla's? It's the DA isn't it

Ah the brother of the juror. So valid bestie. The b plot parallels. Little trust fund baby thinks he's so gangster until they hit a pothole. Yeah we should abolish guns. If u want to fight, use your hands. Well that's what happened! They did think it was auto theft!

What just happened with the captain? (btw sometimes they need to open up their aperture or.. close it.. idk. they need to make things all focused, not some sharp others hella blurred)

Lmao it's the booze from the old haunt episode! In Court, don't ask a question you don't Know the answer to. Yeah well politics & cops. It's like when brackenreid put away a criminal but for the wrong crime. Also this guy legit goes by lou? I p much exclusively go by my nickname but if I had a nameplate in my office it would have my full name (tho my nametag at work is my nickname) Isn't that illegal? to record like that?

Who is this rando? Is that the brother? Doesn't look like the DA. Oh wait it's Stephen. The brother of lyla. Oof, I feel bad for Montgomery. I feel like we could have seen castle playing poker with him lol, the da, the judge, the mayor, & the captain. "Your boss, your boss's boss, & the one who signs your warrants." & knowing the future pieces of this season, I see montgomery talking. All the good he's done, even tho he messed up. Montgomery is technically talking about his friend & colleague, Lou the DA. For those of us that have seen the series? Mm.

Castle fishing for a date XD I love when beckett puts on her coat & then takes it out again. It's times like this I remember I used to call myself a lesbian.

Yeah good episode. & great foreshadowing.

[emwritesstuff]

housesitting | bucky barnes x reader

summary: Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything.

You can hardly see how Bucky Barnes stumbling into his apartment at 3 am with multiple wounds is one of them. But I guess it might be?

notes: this is my attempt at a more ~comedy centered one-shot, with some making out in the middle because uh, who doesn’t like that? In other news, reader is Chaotic. Canon mcu (Infinity War/Endgame) is non-existent in this.  (word count: 3K)

warnings: language, mentions of blood, gunshot wounds, general patching up shenanigans, some making out/grinding but not quite third base

[PART 2: breaking and entering]

Housesitting for Steve Rogers has many perks. The man has the comfiest bed you’ve ever slept in; his coffee machine is top tier; and he also pays for every single streaming service you could think of, because he doesn’t wanna miss anything. An old popsicle thing, you assume.

It’s peaceful, too. The neighborhood is nice and quiet, the other tenants are either extremely polite or too scared of Captain America to make much noise. You’ve had very nice stay-cations at his place, where you were free to choose to binge The Office while eating an entire pizza in the spam of 2 episodes or taking advantage of the quiet to write your grad-school thesis.

So when a loud BANG almost makes you drop your coffee mug on the floor, your spidey senses are immediately on alert. You don’t care how many times Peter insisted that it wasn’t a thing, your arm hairs stood up and your heart started hammering on your chest all the same.

You contemplate squeezing under the bed, turning off the show that was long abandoned and hiding until whatever it is goes away, but before you can do any of that, a string of sharp cursing and soft thumps and thuds snaps you out of your fear.

Maybe it’s a burglar. You could take a clumsy burglar, easy.

Now feeling like Tony had just welcomed you into the Avengers, you hop off Steve’s bed and let your baby Yoda socked feet carry you stealthily into the living room, holding a table lamp as if it was a baseball bat.

Everything is quiet, with no signs of forced entry at the door (you remember someone on Law and Order using those words), and in the dark you don’t notice the bloody trail coming from the kitchen.

You’re imagining things, then. When was the last time you slept? You don’t even feel tired, but you know sleep deprivation always gets you all kinds of crazy.

It happens the second your arm falls to your side and your posture shows the slight of relaxation. A strong arm around your neck and a hand against your mouth to muffle the screaming.

In the quiet of Steve’s apartment building, there is only you shrieking and howling and thrashing against the hold of a stranger.

“Don’t fuckin’ move.” You still.

And then you bite into the hand that is muting you, immediately regretting it when your teeth sink into something hard. Metal? Concrete? Ouch. You resume your resistance, determined, and is shoved away.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Who the fuck are you.” His voice is gruff and dulled over the mask he is wearing, and as you’re taking this giant of a man in, you notice it.

The metal arm. The strapped leather jacket. The tortured blue eyes.

Winter Soldier.

The intruder is James “Bucky” Barnes, Steve’s best friend. That’s who the fuck it is.

“I’m Steve’s house sitter! I even have a key.” You say, with arms in front of you to signal no harm but inching closer to the table lamp with every step.

“House…sitter? Where’s Steve?”

“Who knows. Maybe a mission. He texts me, I come over.” You shrug, and put a chair back to where it was before it got knocked over.

“I don’t believe you. Where is Steve?”

“Listen, I don’t know, okay? I guess he’s just out for a few days. I don’t ask. He just lets me stay in here so I can water the plants and feed the Avengers.”

“The– the what?”

“The Avengers! The fish, see.” You point to the aquarium, where a handful of colorful fish swam peacefully in.

Peace. So much for your peace, because now what you have is a surly super soldier eyeing the fish tank like it was the most loathsome thing in the entire universe, except maybe for you.

“I hate this thing. Naming them makes it even worse.” He trudges back to the kitchen, stomping on the floor like he was on a parade.

So much for the other people’s peace, too.

“Hey! Sir. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s 3 in the fucking morning?” You sass, putting your hands on your hips when he retorts that yeah, he does know. “What are you even doing here?”

“Back from a mission.” He grumbles without looking at you, as if you’re the one who stumbled into his place in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t your place, but still.

“Don’t you have a house?” There’s a part of you that knows pushing the Winter Soldier’s buttons is asking for trouble, but your tired and confused brain decides to ignore it.

“You interrogating me? I need a motherfucking– ” He wheezes and nearly doubles over, holding on the door frame between the living room and the kitchen. You finally spot the blood, both on the tiles and seeping out of the Soldier’s jacket and pants.

He’s hurt. Shit.

“– first aid kit.”

“You need a motherfucking hospital!” You shrill, panic chilling your bones. You don’t do blood. Or any kind of wound, for that matter.

The man ignores you, opening up cabinets hastily. You huff, and walk past him to get to the actual home of the first aid kit. Steve’s oldest, closest friend and can’t even find a box with pharmaceutical supplies in his kitchen. You slam it on the counter next to him.

“You’re welcome.”

“Zip it.”

Just a look from him is enough to render you speechless, and not in the good, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of way. You’re positive that one swat of that metal arm and you’ll be flying out of the window.

He begins by removing his mask, revealing a handsome face underneath, and you try your best to focus on how dark and menacing it looked while locked in that scowl of his. Then, he unbuckles his jacket and discards it on the floor, it coming to a stop next to your feet.

Oh man, he’s naked. Well, not really, just the incredibly toned, strong and muscular top half of him, but you stare wide-eyed as if he was.

“See somethin’ you like, doll?” He quips, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and you turn your back to him, mostly to hide your own embarrassment.

“No.” You cross your arms resolutely, because you definitely don’t think he’s attractive. He is a rude, grumpy, private-property-invader-bastard. Doll. Yuck.

You hear a rumble come out of his chest. Is he laughing? Shithead. Other noises follow, wheezes, small grunts and the tinkle of metal on the marble counter.

A particular pained grunt makes you turn, and you see Barnes with his body twisted, trying to reach a bloody hole on his back. It would be funny if he wasn’t trying to poke a gunshot.

“Do you need… help?” You ask, against your own will, only to be met with his icy gaze.

“No.”

“Come on, you can’t even reach that.”

Another glare is shot your way, and you quirk your brow up. He did need the help, you think, because aside from the muscles and the sweat making him glisten like a delicious – wait what – glazed donut, the man looked like hell.

“…fine.” He slides a pair of surgical prongs, something you identify in your head as oversized tweezers, and you instantly regret your offer. Pressing an iodine-soaked cotton ball to a wound, sure. But not this.

He turns his back to you without a word, supporting himself on the marble. You think that he’s about to make a dent on the goddamn stone if he keeps holding onto it that hard.

“Ah, fuck. Shit. Fuck. Ugh, it’s so gross. Fuck.”

It’s the most horrifying thing you’ve ever done, but you try your best to get to the bullet quickly, so very thankful that Barnes holds himself perfectly still for you. “Got it!”

He lets out a long breath when you toss the prongs and the bullet on the counter with the rest and resumes his cleanup. So, he’s not even going to say thanks. Great.

You try not to think about how you still want to make conversation while you hurriedly scrub the blood from your hands, because aside from the hostility and him jumping on you as a meet-cute, the guy peeks your interest.

Steve has said Barnes is nice, too, and you believed Steve, because he’s basically incapable of lying. Or maybe because he’s pretty. Both, for sure.

With your hands now clean, you turn to him, mouth open with some kind of conversation starter that is immediately forgotten.

Oh man, he’s naked. For real this time.

Bucky Barnes has stepped out of his pants while you were overthinking by the sink, now standing in only a pair of black boxers. It’s like he feels you staring at his butt, because he turns to you with raised eyebrows.

“Last one’s on my thigh. I got it.” He’s holding the prongs this time, and you’re glad you don’t have to do anything, because your face next to that groin might make you go into spontaneous combustion.

“Yeah.”

He hums. You hope all of this is a fever dream.

“Isn’t there a med bay at–”

“Don’t like people prodding and pokin’ at me.” His comment makes you grimace. He’s the Winter Soldier, damn it. You know the stories, everyone does. Of course he doesn’t like being prodded.

He looks at you funny, probably because you went dead quiet. You don’t want him to think you feel pity, because you don’t, but god don’t you feel bad for poking him now, even if verbally.

“I’m gonna – grab one of Steve’s – uh. Dude you need to put some clothes on. Jesus.”

He laughs at you again, which you’re thankful for because anything is better than the awkwardness of the other subject. You pick up a black pair of sweatpants that was so deep in one of Steve’s drawers that you know he’d have to have bought it and never had the guts to put it on. This one would do just fine.

If there is one thing Steve Rogers isn’t, is a black sweats guy.

“Here.” You deposit the sweats and a white tee on the counter, one of the millions that you found inside the closet. Barnes was patching himself up now, bandages wrapped everywhere on his body.

Got his ass kicked good. You shudder when you imagine the state of the other guy.

He eyes the clothes, and saying nothing, returns to his task. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“I didn’t ask you to help me.”

“Yeah, but I did anyways! ‘Cause I’m stupid, I guess.” You almost hurl a dirty plate at him when he scoffs, muttering a yeah, guess you are. “God, why are you so grumpy?”

“Well you try being shot 5 times and see how cheerful you are after.”

“You got shot 5 times?!”

Looking at you from between his brows, the Soldier nods to the five mangled bullets sitting on the counter. You think about how you’ve made yourself a sandwich just hours earlier on the exact same spot. You want to puke.

Taking time to look around yourself, you can finally grasp the state of Steve’s ever-so-pristine kitchen, now a mess of dirty clothes, blood and your own few dishes from the night before. You don’t even think about what you’re doing as you move, gathering every single cleaning supply you can find, and start working on the cleanup.

You’re struggling, because obviously you’ve never done this before. Anyone can tell, from your soft abdomen and your severe lack of muscle, that you’re not an Avenger. Sure, you work with them, but you’re usually neck deep into advanced tech, not in the gym by any means. Also, you don’t do blood.

That means you have to think about something else, anything else, while you’re manically cleaning the floor. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, the Winter Soldier’s tight ass, four sheep, get it together goddamnit –

“Leave it. I’ll clean.”

You huff, he huffs back, and you look up at him.

“You got shot five times. Go sit down or something before you blow your back too, grandpa.” You call him that to assure yourself that he is old, like actually super old, and thirsting over him is weird. Even weirder when he’s all bandaged and bleeding. And still shirtless. Shit.

He mumbles something that you ignore, and stomps off. You think you actually did a pretty decent job with the cleaning, considering.

You need coffee. Definitely an entire bottle of vodka too, but there was no alcohol in this god’s good home, so you settle for the brew that you made earlier. You pour a mug for Barnes too, because you’re nice like that, and amble into the living room to find him slumped on a chair.

“Coffee?” You start, settling his mug on the table next to him.

“It’s almost 5 a.m.”

“Guess I’m up early for once. Maybe I should go for a run.”

He snorts, and opens one eye to inspect you from where he is. He reaches out for the coffee, using his metal hand, and you consider the two ways this could go.

He’d shatter the mug right then and there. Or, he’d throw it at you. Your jaw goes slack at what he actually does, sirens blaring loudly in your head. Truly astonishing, the most bewildering turn of events.

He drinks from it.

“Thanks. Quit staring at me.”

“Wow, Mr. Winter knows the magic words. Mr. Barnes. Sergeant?” You’re thinking aloud, abandoning any trace of sanity you’ve been holding. You even sit on the couch next to his armchair.

“It’s Bucky,”

Again, absolutely bewildering. You must be going insane.

“– and you talk too much.” He finishes, with an end-of-story tone, and returns to his rest. At least that felt like normality.

“Bucky. Bucky.” You roll the name on your tongue, feeling a weird buzz start to take over you. It grows stronger when you notice he’s looking at you, one brow quirked as if you lost your marbles. “You know, Bucky, this is definitely not how I saw my night going. Home invasion, playing surgeon – not my usual kind of fun.”

You get up, maybe because you decide that you – and Bucky – need a blanket, or maybe because you need a distraction from his chest going up and down like it’s got a business with making you want to touch it.

You’re not a slut, but who knows? Jim Halper would get it.

“You’re that kid, aren’t you? Stark’s assistant.” Bucky’s voice, low and husky, makes you jump. You look at him, your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

It’s surprising that he knows you, considering. He’s – well, he’s basically a celebrity, if ex-assassins could be considered that. You’re only Tony’s techie, and you and Bucky have never actually met, not even in the few parties you had attended to stop your boss from nagging you that you had to actually go out and have some fun sometimes, because you’re still young and cute and you need to enjoy yourself before you get saggy and bitter.

Jokes on him, you were born bitter.

“I’m no kid.”

“Nice socks.”

You wiggle your toes and it makes the ears of one of the baby Yodas move.

“Still not a kid! If you wanna be sad and wear your sad, plain socks, Bucky, that’s entirely your choice.” You said, pointing your index at him, making circles in the air with it to really get your point across.

Bucky smirks, and you go up to him with the two blankets on your arms. He’s blocking the door with that bulky body of his, and you raise your eyebrows quizzically.

“I’ll have you know – meeting Steve’s annoying, mouthy, pretty house sitter is not how I saw my night going either.” Bucky puts a doubtful tone on house sitter, as if he still doesn’t get exactly what it means.

You blink. You’re positive you heard it wrong. Is he… is this flirting?

“You think I’m pretty?”

“I called you annoying and mouthy too.”

“Yeah, I mean I know that much about me.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “The pretty part is new though.”

Bucky still hasn’t moved from the doorframe, and you find yourself staring up at him. He is inches away now, pupils blown wide in the darkness, and you can see a ring of steely blue around them. He licks his lips, and you’re drawn in.

The maelstrom in his eyes sends you spinning.

“I think someone should say you’re not see through, much less–”

Bucky shuts you up by pressing his lips onto yours, a slow, exploratory kiss, the tenderest he’s been all night. His metal hand rests on your lower back, making you shiver at the cool touch.

You’re all panting and eagerness when you cup his face with both hands and press your body against his. You need to deepen this kiss. You haven’t drooled over Bucky Barnes all night to keep things lovey-dovey.

He responds in earnest, pulling you closer. The flesh hand on the back of your neck is a stark contrast against the chill of the other. You and Bucky stumble from the corridor and back to the living room, knocking over a few of Steve’s decorations in the process.

“I don’t feel as bad for this one.” You mumble against his lips, stopping to look at a particular framed picture of Captain America in uniform, surrounded by every single counterfeit Cap in Times Square.

“S’ one of his favorites.”

You nod, you’re aware. Steve thinks it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

Bucky’s breath tickles the hairs on your neck when he continues.

“I hate it.”

“Yeah.”

You capture his lips again, and you two resume your chaotic redecorating. You’re thankful for Bucky’s strong arms keeping you from falling over, because at this point you’re not sure if your legs work anymore.

He takes you with him when he drops down on the same armchair from earlier, and the dizzy spell you find yourself in is broken when you hear him groan.

Right. He’s battered up and stuff.

“Shit, Bucky, I’m sorry–”

“No.” He pulls you close again, and guides your body to straddle one of his thighs. “Stay right here, doll.”

Doll. God-fucking-damnit.

His hand moves under the elastic band of your pants, oh my god you’re making out with Bucky-Hot-Piece-Of-Ass-Barnes in your wiener dog pajama bottoms, and finds the hem of your underwear. He pulls on it, and you yelp when he lets it snap against your side.

He laughs, and you vibrate along with his chest.

You find yourself grinding on his leg, sucking on his bottom lip, raking your nails along his shoulders, doing anything, everything for more, trying to burn the taste and the feel of him on your memory. He moves on to kiss your neck and you sigh, tugging on his hair and making sure you’re holding on for dear life.

Your eyes flutter open, enough to see the fish Avengers in their tank.

The Avengers.

Steve Rogers is an Avenger. So is Bucky, technically.

You’re making out with Bucky. One of his hands is on your boob.

This is Steve’s apartment.

You manage to sober you up enough, despite Bucky’s constant attacks of open mouth kisses and bites on your neck.

“I don’t think Steve would – if we–” You lift your head begrudgingly to look at him. “You know, on his armchair.”

“Right.” He didn’t seem convinced, but his hand moved up from your butt to your waist again.

Steve Rogers was probably miles away right now and still cockblocking you.

Even worse, his furniture was cockblocking you.

Stupid star-spangled IKEA shopper.

And his hot best friend. Who’s currently smiling at you in a such a way that makes you almost abandon all comradery towards Rogers and the sanctity of his place.

You debate getting up, but resign yourself to burying your nose in the crook of Bucky’s neck and just staying there, because honestly, when are you going to have the chance to do this again. Never, that’s when.

Also, he’s surprisingly comfortable for someone with a metal arm and such a jacked-up body.

“You’re sleepy.”

“No, I’m like, super awake.”

It’s a lie, because now that the sparks have flown and the rush of blood in your ears gave way to the quietness of the early morning, you feel yourself drifting, on and off, surprising yourself when you come to once and find that Bucky is still there, warm under you.

“Sleep, doll. I need it too.”

You shift, ready to let his rhythmic breathing lull you to sleep. The last 75 sleepless hours catch up with you.

“Bucky? If you want to break into someone’s house again sometime – I have a first aid kit too. Just sayin’.”

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hi, Slug! Since we have now the official Shuffle Divisions, I'd like to know if you were hoping to see (maybe hear it's better in this case) different characters together. Like, did you expect different teams? Sorry for my bad English!

To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention until the lineups were revealed, so I didn't have any preconceived notions. This all looks fun and goofy. My thoughts on each line-up:

Ichirou, Roshou, and Juushi: This seems like the ultimate good boy group, in that every member of the team gives off powerful good boy energy. I feel like whatever's going to happen with them will probably involve helping grannies cross busy intersections, rescuing kittens from trees, and volunteering at the local soup kitchen. I can dig it.

Samatoki, Doppo, and Rei: I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out how this one will work out, because their individual dynamics are all so different. I think Doppo would get scared at first and probably accidentally tick off Samatoki, but how would Rei play into it? And would Doppo come out of his shell later, like he tends to do? I'm looking forward to seeing how they gel, because I can't imagine it right now.

Ramuda, Hifumi, and Riou: A lot of people are talking about Ramuda and Hifumi getting along, and I agree, but I'm personally way more hyped to see how Ramuda and Riou interact. (I like Riou a LOT.) I know it's not going to be the scenario in my mind of "Dice brings a trusted homie in need to the trusted homie Dice turns to in times of need" which is directed like an art film, illustrated by Michelangelo, and has won 15 awards. But I hope that they do get along. I don't think Riou would mind Ramuda's particular brand of obnoxiousness - he is so very accepting, and it is delightful - but I hope Ramuda's end goes beyond, "Ick, going outside! Yuck!" I really don't want it to devolve into a match of Hifumi and Ramuda making fake gagging noises and going, "Yuck, boy cooties!" But both have been known to act with all the maturity of elementary schoolers, so who knows?

Jakurai, Hitoya, and Saburou: Saburou's winning this one for sure. I think Jakurai would probably like Saburou a lot, because Saburou is a lot like Hitoya and Jakurai when they were kids, and Hitoya would probably be pissed at him for the exact same reason. I think Saburou would probably really enjoy the company of these (relatively) mature, intellectual adults, but at the same time, the palpable tension between Jakurai and Hitoya would make things awkward. This one is hilarious to me. A soap opera in the making. "Law school? Easy. Med school? As if. Raising a family? The hardest challenge ever. Join ex-friends and lifelong rivals Hitoya and Jakurai who must come together to co-parent a moody teenage son in a household where the collective IQ is through the roof. Coming this summer: MENsa"

Sasara, Gentarou, and Jirou: Oh, jesus. Well, I have to say, I think Jirou is the best equipped person to survive a Sasara and Gentarou combo, as the two of them have an unparalleled ability to take clowning to the next level. This will probably be the most chaotic in terms of sheer hollering and weird noises.

Kuukou, Juuto, and Dice: Oh god, poor Juuto. Honestly, if Juuto wasn't there, I'm pretty sure Kuukou and Dice would end up sharing a blunt together behind a dumpster somewhere and then end up being homies for life. As is, I think this group has the highest potential to get charged with manslaughter. I don't think they'd intentionally kill anyone, but rest in peace to anyone who happens to get to close to this powderkeg.

I have a feeling that, as a whole, this event is probably going to be like, "WHEW, glad that's finally over! You know, now that I'm back with my normal crew, I feel like you guys aren't so bad after all! There are some real bozos out there" but virtually every cast member is saying this.

[helaintoloki]

Meet the Family

pairing: Pietro Peter Maximoff x fem!reader

warnings: angst, manipulation, reader is a Westview hostage controlled by Wanda, etc., 2.5k in length

notes: writing a piece that takes place in the WandaVision universe was such a challenging and fun experience, and I really tried to capture the same dark undertones of the show so I hope you enjoy!

summary: An innocent family dinner with Pietro’s new girlfriend reveals that life in Westview is not what it seems. Uncle Pietro introduces y/n to the family!

Y/n almost feels like she’s being watched as the warm hand of her boyfriend— since when do I have a boyfriend?— carefully guides her trembling figure up the front steps of his sister’s house and rings the doorbell. Her grip on the glass dish of brownies in her hands is so impossibly tight she fears she might just break it, and when the silver haired man swoops down to steal a kiss from her cherry gloss stained lips she can’t help but to feel nauseated. The sickness morphs into guilt immediately, and when he looks down upon her with a gaze so tender and fond she forces herself to bat her eyes and smile at him. What kind of girlfriend is horrible enough to be disgusted by a kiss from her own boyfriend? Something isn’t right here...

“Don’t even sweat it, babe, my little sis is going to love you!” Pietro comforts with an easygoing grin plastered on his features.

“I hope so,” y/n murmurs quietly, nervously chewing at her bottom lip. This is the audition, her one shot at impressing the boss, and if even one tiny minuscule detail is thrown out of place then there goes her new house and fancy wardrobe and y/n is written out of the show. Permanently.

“My girlfriend is such a worrywart,” he laughs fondly with a gentle pinch of her cheek. It’s as if a switch is flipped inside of her, and this time when she smiles at him it is genuine and full of unadulterated love.

“I just want everything to be perfect, I know how much this means to you,” she replies earnestly, too dazed to notice the soft aww that drifts through the air from the audience. Pietro smiles.

“Man, did I luck out on finding the most perfect girl in the world or what?”

“Well us being together certainly isn’t a coincidence,” she notes with a small smile. The uneasiness begins to wash over her again, but y/n isn’t given a chance to dwell on the feeling as the front door swings open and a vibrant looking young woman stands in the doorway, almost beaming at the two with pure glee.

“Thank goodness you made it!” She exclaims, hand delicately resting on her chest to showcase her relief before she pulls the stranger her brother into a hug.

“Like we’d really miss Sunday dinner,” Pietro jokes before pressing a chaste kiss to his sister’s cheek. His hand returns to the small of y/n’s back and the fond smile pulls at his lips again. “Wanda, I’d like to introduce you to a very special little lady, my girlfriend y/n.”

“Oh, she’s very special indeed,” Wanda notes with an overzealous wink, ignoring the way in which the brownie dish begins to tremble in the poor girl’s hands. Just a little stage fright, that’s all. “It’s very nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Wanda.”

“It’s an honor to meet you,” the girl replies earnestly, “Pietro has told me so much about you.”

“Well aren’t you sweet! Please, come in,” Wanda grins, ushering the two inside before shutting the door. “Boys, Uncle Pietro is here!”

“What a lovely place you have,” y/n compliments. Her eyes scan the perfectly decorated home in wonder, awe, and a third thing she can’t quite place for if she dwells on it for too long her head begins to ache and her surroundings begin to grow fuzzy.

“Oh, please, it’s just a little something I threw together,” she jokes, canned laughter echoing distantly in the background of y/n’s mind.

“Uncle Pietro!” Two voices exclaim, and y/n watches curiously as her boyfriend lets out an ecstatic laugh before rushing forward to scoop the twin boys in his arms.

“If it isn’t my favorite little trouble makers!” He grins, making sure to ruffle both heads of hair. “Billy, Tommy, say hi to your aunt y/n.”

“Hi, aunt y/n,” Billy greets politely. Tommy is at her side in an instant, movements so quick y/n can’t help but to let out a startled yelp as he lunges for the dish in her hands.

“Are those brownies?!”

“Tommy, where are your manners?” Wanda chides gently, shaking her head with a laugh and reaching for the pastries. “Boys will be boys. I’ll take these off your hands.”

“Oh, uh, yes, thank you...” y/n murmurs softly, brows stitched together in discomfort.

“You’ll have to excuse my husband’s absence, another late night at the office. You know how it is, don’t you?”

“I can’t say I do.”

“Hmm... Well, make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready soon, I’ll just go put these in the kitchen.”

“Oh, do you need any h-“

“No,” Wanda blurts out abruptly, startling everyone in the room. She plasters on a smile, “No thank you. How can I be a good hostess if my guest is doing all the work for me?”

“You’re right, I’m so sorry,” y/n flounders, panic clear amongst her features. “I-I didn’t mean to impose at all.”

“No apologies,” the woman murmurs quietly, a small smile on her lips and an admonitory glimmer in her eyes, “we’re going to have a nice family dinner, and everything is going to be just perfect.”

The tension in the air is suffocating, wrapping itself in a slow growing hold around y/n’s neck. Her eyes begin to water, bottom lip quivering in fear as she looks around the room that suddenly feels too big and too bright. She doesn’t belong here with these people, something is wrong, the man she came here with is not hers, and as Wanda’s figure retreats behind the kitchen door y/n makes a mad dash towards the nearest exit.

“Whoa!” Pietro exclaims with an uneasy laugh, and in a blue flash she suddenly finds herself being scooped up off her feet and tossed back down on the couch in between the apprehensive twins faster than her fried brain can even comprehend. “Not so fast there, missy. Just where do you think you’re going?”

“I... I don’t feel right,” the young woman murmurs, wincing at the uncomfortable dryness of her throat as she swallows. “I want to go home and lie down.”

“Don’t be like that, babe,” he chides with a disappointed frown, “this is my family.”

“But what about my family?” Y/n whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she realizes that whenever she attempts to picture the life she once lived not a single thing comes to mind. “I don’t have a family.”

“This is your family now. We talked about this, remember? We came to Westview to make Wanda happy, and you don’t want to upset her, do you?”

“No,” she replies meekly, shuddering when the calloused pad of his thumb swipes across her warm cheek to remove any evidence of tears. No, I don’t want to make her unhappy, because if I do then I’m written off the show and I don’t know what will happen to me if I am. “I want to spend time with my new family.”

“Atta girl,” Pietro grins as he cups her face with both hands and brings her in for a kiss.

“Yuck!” Tommy exclaims in disgust from beside the couple, and this time y/n can’t help the bubbly laughter that escapes her at the young boy’s antics. Any memory of her previous meltdown is quickly wiped from her mind, and all she can think of now is how utterly grateful she is to be loved by such a wonderful man and be taken in by his wonderful family.

She pulls Pietro in for another kiss and giggles uncontrollably when he responds by tickling her sides, all while Wanda watches carefully from behind the scenes.

~~~

“Dream of better lives, the kind which never hate. Trapped in a state of imaginary grace.”

Her voice is quiet and serene as she hums along to the Modern English song playing on the radio, a content smile on her face as she washes the dishes leftover from dinner. It was the least she could do after the lovely evening Wanda had hosted; her sister-in-law had been called upon by the neighbor Agnes for a task that hadn’t quite been specified, so y/n was happy to tidy up while her boyfriend spent quality time with the boys. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt as happy and content as she did now— she couldn’t remember anything, really— and y/n knew then and there that moving to Westview with Pietro had been the right decision for the family, for his sister and themselves, and for the children, too. Yes, everything was just peachy keen.

The kitchen door swings open and in walks a man y/n has never seen before. He looks just as surprised as she is when their eyes meet, an awkward smile on his red face and the morning paper in his hands, and y/n slowly drops the dish she had been washing back into the sink.

“Hello,” the man greets curtly, “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before.”

“I’m afraid not,” y/n agrees with a bashful smile, quickly removing her rubber gloves so that she may extend her hand towards him for a shake, “I’m y/n, Pietro’s girlfriend.”

“Ah, yes...” he murmurs lowly, cautiously shaking her hand and sizing the woman up and down until she shrinks under his gaze. He means her no harm, but he isn’t sure whether or not she’s part of this cooky little play or just another victim cast under Wanda’s spell. He smiles suddenly, the gesture startling the girl. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Vision.”

“Oh, yes! Of course. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“May I ask where my wife is?” Vision asks.

“She went off to the neighbor’s,” y/n explains before promptly returning to her dish washing. The radio sounds distant and warbled now, the song she had been singing along to now nothing but static and jumbled up syllables, but to Vision’s dismay she doesn’t seem to notice in the slightest.

“How are you enjoying Westview?”

“I’m having the best time. Pietro and I have been talking and we might just have to hunker down in our own little place,” she says with a giggle. “It would be nice to be closer to you all.”

“I must say, having you and Pietro here was quite the surprise.”

“Not a bad one I hope,” she frowns. Vision guiltily refuses to meet her gaze.

“No, not at all. But, might I ask how you two came to be?” Vision asks apprehensively, adding on so that she doesn’t feel cornered, “I’m sure it must be a lovely story.”

“Oh, yes! I remember it like it was yesterday,” y/n swoons dreamily, a fond smile plastered on her face and her gaze casted out towards the living room where Pietro sits playing video games with the boys. She blinks once, twice, eyes never once leaving the silver haired stranger in the couch. A pregnant pause hovers over the two, the porcelain plate trembles in her hands, and Vision watches in silent horror as her eyes begin to well with tears.

“Y/n?” He calls gently, fingertips carefully brushing against her elbow in an attempt to bring her focus back to him. He removes the plate from her iron grip and sets it back carefully in the sink before turning the girl by the shoulders to face him; she still wears that same adoring smile despite the tears that silently fall down her cheeks.

“Forgive me,” she murmurs quietly, “I can’t seem to gather my thoughts properly.”

“Who did this to you? Was it Wanda? Pietro?” Vision press urgently. Y/n sways slightly when he shakes her by the shoulders in a desperate attempt to break her from her trance but still her smile remains.

“Pietro? Oh, he loves me, and I love him.”

“My dear, I don’t think you do,” the man utters sympathetically.

“Of course I do, silly. We were made for each other.”

“Perhaps you were, but not in the way you think. Y/n-“

“Please let go,” she interrupts in a soft, steady voice, looking up at him like a scorned child, “you’re scaring me.”

“If you would just let me,” Vision begins to say, fingertips reaching for her temple in preparation to break her from the spell only to be interrupted by another presence in the room.

“Whoa, what’s going on in here?” Pietro asks with a raised brow and uneasy laugh. “Hey toaster oven, you mind maybe letting go of my girlfriend?”

“Of course, my apologies,” Vision murmurs, stepping away from the girl and allowing her to run into the arms of her boyfriend.

“You okay, babe?” He asks with a raised brow. She isn’t, not in the slightest, but she has a job to do and a role to play, so she merely bats her eyes at him before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Never been better. Hey, how does dessert sound?”

“I think that sounds lovely,” Wanda chimes, her sudden appearance in the kitchen doorway startling the already present trio. Vision looks like a deer caught in headlights when Wanda saunters over and gifts him with an innocent kiss to the cheek. “Why don’t you and Pietro get the boys settled down while y/n and I prepare the dessert?”

“What a lovely idea, darling,” Vision chimes with an easy smile— y/n isn’t the only one with a role to play. “Come now, dear brother-in-law.”

“Take good care of my girl, little sis,” Pietro calls on his way out. Wanda smiles, her eyes never once leaving y/n’s trembling frame.

“But of course. What is family for? Y/n, be a dear and grab the plates, won’t you?”

“Yes, Wanda,” the girl chimes obediently. She smiles.

“I noticed you seemed a little shaken up just now, is everything alright?” Wanda asks, feigning obliviousness.

“Oh, you know, just some friendly questioning from my new brother-in-law. I’m sure he just wanted to make sure Pietro had found the right match,” she explains with a passive wave of her hand. Wanda hums softly.

“Well we don’t need to worry about that,” she notes. “You’re here for a reason, y/n. Do you know that?”

“For Pietro, and for you,” she replies earnestly, smiling when Wanda takes her hands in her own and gives them a gentle squeeze. “You’ve always wanted a big family, a real family, one that would never turn its back on you or leave you behind ever again. You want a sister and nieces and nephews and love, and I’m here because I can do all of that and more for you.”

“Exactly right. Family is forever, y/n. Are you ready for the commitment that comes with being a Maximoff?”

“I’ve never been more ready,” y/n responds eagerly. Wanda smiles.

“I’m so relieved you said that,” she utters gently, pulling y/n in for a hug so that she may not see the way in which her eyes begin to glow red and waves of energy begin to emit from her fingertips as she carefully settles herself fully into the girl’s mind. She fills her head with thoughts of Pietro and family, with memories she’s never lived and feelings she’s never had, she fills her with love, and y/n is none the wiser.

“Congratulations, y/n,” Wanda utters quietly, comfortingly stroking the girl’s hair, “you’re a Maximoff now.”

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Five)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Mild Sexual References

Words: 1,848

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

 *************************

YOUR POV

Two weeks had passed since you visited your friend Denise in Dublin and it was time for the annual Galway Arts Festival.

Denise had been working on a photography project for the past year and had been nominated for a student award in Galway as part of which ten of her photographs were being displayed during the Arts Festival.

Whilst, as you had expected, Cillian didn’t contact you, you knew that he would be there to support his daughter. Being an artist himself, he was very proud of her and her work and he supported her projects not only mentally but also financially with the caveat that she would finish her degree at Trinity College.

Unlike him, he didn’t want her to drop out of university even though she hated it and you certainly understood his reasoning.

Contrary to Denise, you had no creative bone in your body. You enjoyed art and theatre, but weren’t an artist or performer yourself. Instead, you were an A Grade Law Student who had become rather bored in Galway and had recently applied for a scholarship to Oxford University.

Reading was your passion and you had always been known as a geek. In school, you were the girl that no one liked, nerdy, not interested in fashion or social media and wearing braces, which, luckily, had been removed three years ago.

You were shy and it was only for Denise that you came out of your shell. She was popular in school, mostly due to her name, but also because she was generally confident and, over the years, she helped you gain confidence especially after you had left high school.

But, today, you knew you would be questioning your gained confidence once again since, first of all, you would be seeing Cillian again and the truth was that you couldn’t stop thinking about him in an intimate way and, secondly, you were featured completely naked on some of Denise’s photographs.

Whilst the photographs were artistic and not sexual in any way and your most intimate part wasn’t visible on them, it bothered you knowing that people you disliked would see you so vulnerable and you couldn’t remember why you had agreed to being photographed like that.

The other woman who Denise chose to photograph was Amalie. She was 23 and had been Denise’s friend for a while as well but, unlike you, she began modelling professionally when she was just 16. You all went to the same private school together and, clearly, her lifestyle had been largely financed by her parents. She always wore expensive clothes and had no interest in pursuing a career other than modelling, which barely sustained her lifestyle considering the few small jobs she got.

***

Just as you served your last cup of coffee to an elderly lady sitting in the corner of the café you were working at, you saw Denise, Amalie and two other friends of Denise walk in.

‘Hey guys, take a seat. I will be right with you. I am just about to finish my shift’ you said as you hung up your apron.

‘Please tell me you will get changed before the Gallery opening tonight?’ Amalie asked somewhat weirdly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you sat down at the table with her, Denise and the others before ordering some coffees for yourselves.

‘No, I thought I would go like this’ you said sarcastically, looking down at your coffee-stained clothes.

‘I bought a dress for tonight’ you then said, after Amalie didn’t seem to sense your sarcasm.

‘Right’ she then said as she flicked through Instagram and you simply looked at Denise who shrug her shoulders.

‘What are you looking for?’ you asked curiously as her eyes seemed to be glued to her phone.

‘She is looking to find more photos of my dad and Laura Jennings’ Denise said, rolling her eyes.

‘Laura Jennings, as in the actress?’ you asked, causing Amalie to nod.

‘Yes, apparently they have been dating’ Amalie then confirmed, causing you to swallow harshly. You knew that you shouldn’t care but you couldn’t help it. Knowing that Cillian was seeing someone made you feel ill.  

‘And you care about that why?’ you then asked Amalie after an uncomfortable shiver ran down your spine.

‘Apparently, just like you, Amalie thinks my dad is a DILF’ Denise huffed out before telling you how disgusting you all were.

‘Well, he is though…he is super hot’ Amalie then joked before carrying on. ‘And I don’t understand how you don’t know about Laura Jennings and whether this is true or not. You need to find out’ Amalie then said but Denise simply shook her head.

‘My father doesn’t share this sort of stuff with me and I certainly don’t want to know about his sex life, thank you very much. In so far as I am concerned, he doesn’t have sex, ever…yuck! Also, I would appreciate if you could not talk about my dad anymore, please. It grosses me out’ Denise said and you knew that, all of this had become a common occurrence ever since the day the first episode of Peaky Blinders aired on BBC, a show which Denise refuses to watch herself because of the heavy sexual content and a show which you, only a week ago, had begun to binge watch.

Cillian’s POV

When Cillian walked into the basement after you had left, he immediately saw the small folded up note you had left him but, reading it, made him somewhat uncomfortable.

He was torn about what to do with it and certainly knew that he should ignore it. He couldn’t see you again even if he wanted to.

The fact that you were 23 years younger than him and that you were his daughter’s best friend made it all wrong and highly inappropriate and he didn’t know what had gotten into him in the first place when he gave into you.

He had never felt attracted towards you in any sort of way until that last visit which was the first time had seen you since you and your family had moved away.

You changed in many ways and he wasn’t sure what it was that he liked about you. But what he knew was that it was more than just sexual attraction, which was usually something he knew how to supress.

With that in mind, he placed your note into his wallet and decided to ignore it for now. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to throw it out.

***

With his bags packed it was time for him to return to Manchester and resume filming of the final season of Peaky Blinders.

The first week of filming went well and Cillian decided to spend the weekend with his friend, fellow actress Laura Jennings. Cillian and her had developed a friend with benefits sort of relationship. No strings attached and no feelings involved. After his divorce from Denise’s mother, he wasn’t ready for anything else and Laura would certainly not have been the type of woman he would have wanted a relationship with in the first place.

Unlike him, she wasn’t press shy and, whilst they kept their arrangement a secret as best as they could, she was otherwise quite active on social media.

Cillian, on the other hand, only maintained a private Instagram account with the sole purpose of being able to check on his children. Whilst they were adults, he was still worried about them, especially Denise who had recently gotten herself in a lot of trouble after distancing herself from this Jeremy boy.

***

‘Another wine?’ Laura asked as Cillian was relaxing on top of the doonas, wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein briefs, after they had spent the last hour doing exactly what friends with benefits would do after not having seen each other for over two weeks due to busy filming schedules.

‘Yes please…thanks’ he responded as he reached for his phone after a notification had popped up.

It was his daughter Denise who had posted on Instagram and, since she hadn’t posted for a while, he decided to check it out, hoping that she wasn’t with Jeremy again.

To his surprise, three new pictures of Denise and her friends showed up when he opened the APP and, one of them, there was you.

In the picture, you were wearing accompanied by a man in his late twenties, wearing a suit while you were wearing a dark blue dress and he couldn’t help but wonder who the man by your side was.

You looked simply stunning, with your hair long and open and your shoulders exposed. You were wearing only a little bit of make up and showed your beautiful smile.  

‘There you go Mr Murphy’ Laura then said as she returned to the bedroom with another glass of wine, pulling Cillian’s phone out of his hand and climbing on top of him.

‘Round Two?’ she then asked eagerly as she reached for another condom, but Cillian’s thoughts were elsewhere entirely.

‘Maybe tomorrow, I am tired. It has been a long week, sorry’ he explained, causing Laura to pout with disappointment.

But the second round never eventuated as Cillian left Laura’s house the following morning to drive back to Manchester to resume filming.

On his way back to Manchester, he called his daughter Denise to check on her and while he did, he enquired about your companion on the Instagram posts.

‘Why do you want to know?’ Denise asked somewhat confused but Cillian played it cool.

‘He looks familiar, that’s all. Didn’t he go to your school?’ he then asked, playing dumb.

‘Oh god no, he is 29. His name is Connor and he is an accountant. Y/N wouldn’t date anyone our age. You know she isn’t a normal 21-year-old’ Denise joked, referring to your nerdiness and intellect.

‘Apparently not’ Cillian chuckled before asking another question about the stranger on the picture. ‘So, they are dating?’ he asked.

‘I think they went on two or three dates or something. Why do you care?’ Denise asked.

‘No reason. I was just wondering’ Cillian confirmed before changing the topic.

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