#one day i'll finish my analysis of this scene but for now - you can tell that as much as keiichiro cares about kairi

[mania-sama]

If you don't mind me asking, who are your top 5 (or top 7) favorite (fictional) characters ever from any media? Why love them?

thanks so much for the ask!! i always love your questions <3

God, this is a hard one. Because I've consumed and fallen in love with so many pieces of media in my life, it's hard for me to tell who exactly my favorite characters are. The pool is just too big to choose from! But I'll try my best regardless!

Also an important note that as I grow older, this list could very well become out-dated very fast. Who knows what I will see or what medias I will consume that will alter my perception of reality?

In no particular order:

Bakugou Katsuki [My Hero Academia] -> THE OG. I REPEAT. THE OG ONLINE OBSESSION. My history with My Hero Academia goes way back on my online persona, when I was a wee lad and experiencing my first online hyperfixation (Warrior Cats not included). I had him as online nickname and profile picture on multiple accounts and instances. I look back and cringe on this era of my life, but I still will not stand for slander on this character. I obsessed over him because he is an incredibly well-written character, with faults, passions, interesting qualities, and an insane amount of character growth that, arguably, rivals Zuko. His character motivations still stand out to me to this day. I quit reading/watching BNHA around the war arc, like right when it finished and Midoriya fled the scene. No particular reason for quitting, I think; I just moved on from that part of my life. But, Bakugou will always stick with me just a little. AND YOU KNOW WHAT. I liked him when everyone else still hated him. I liked him before it was cool to like him. Shout out to 2020-2021 me for being an OG. I'm still a "Ground Zero" truther to this very day.

Percy Jackson [Percy Jackson and the Olympians] -> Anyone that has read the PJO and/or the following series will not be surprised to find him here. He's like Spiderman but better, which is saying a lot because I really, really like Spiderman. Percy Jackson is there for every kid who has ever felt out of place in this world; for every kid who has struggled in succeeding in any aspect of their life; for every kid who grew up in a household different from their peers; for every kid who behaves in ways that other people don't seem to understand. Spiderman was a character created to represent the reader of superhero comics: a teenage white boy. Of course, later iterations of Spiderman come to represent more individuals, but that is not who he was originally. Percy Jackson is a character that comes from a place of necessity. He is a character that represents the reader of PJO: a kid who doesn't quite fit in with the rest, for one reason or another. Percy is funny, ultra-overpowered, relatable, and still gets his happy ending. Nothing more to want in a character, really.

Robbie White | Axe Boy [Identity V] -> My hunter main for Identity V. I don't really know how to explain why I love him so much, and how he has become a character I get emotional over very fast. I seem to find one random character from a game and attach myself to them like a jellyfish. Not only is his backstory devastatingly heartbreaking, he is adorable in all of his animations, standby motions, emotes, etc.. He has carried me to many victories, and he will continue to carry me in every match I play. I literally forced myself to download IDV on my laptop and play a few matches just so I could get his Little Nightmares crossover skin. No matter how far he falls from meta, they can never make me hate you Robbie.

Kugisaki Nobara [Jujutsu Kaisen] -> I had a LOT of internal debate over this. I guess I can't confirm until I leave the fandom, but for right now, she's definitely one of my top favorite characters of all time. I'm considering writing an analysis on her because she is just so good. I have never seen a female character in a piece of media that isn't explicitly feminine embody femininity so well. It actually impresses me to a degree I cannot reasonably tell you. She's just perfect. Everything about her is everything that I want to be as a woman. She's comfortable in her own skin, confident not in a man-ish way, but in a distinctly feminine way. What gives that she wants to feel pretty and strong in a physical way? Who is saying that she can't have both? Not to mention that she's also extremely strategically smart. I love her. I really, really do. Sometimes, I imagine strangling Gege's avatar and it makes me very happy.

Oikawa Tooru [Haikyuu] -> I honest-to-God cannot believe he made it here. I tried so hard to find a character to replace him. I did not want him here out of SPITE. But here he is, somehow, and not replaced by Miles Morales (who, upon reflection, would only be here because I did not want Oikawa to be here. Miles didn't even make my honorable mentions. That is proof enough, I suppose, that Oikawa somehow deserves his spot). I've talked about it before, but I'll reiterate it here: Oikawa is a character that is very, very easy to toy around with. He is THE teenager, and THE adult. You can project pretty much any anxiety or worry onto him and it'll make sense because he's got so many self-worth issues it's laughable. I don't want to spend more time talking about him than he deserves. I am as disappointed as you are that he made this list.

Honorable Mentions:

Razor & Xiao [Genshin Impact] -> They would've made the list if I could've put one above the other for real. Silly whimsical attachment with immense appreciation for the character writing vs serious love for the writing and development of the character beyond words. Simply an impossible choice.

Akabane Karma [Assassination Classroom] -> He was my favorite character of all time at one point in history and is still the inspiration behind my Tiktok nickname (that I may change one day). Unfortunately, it's been a long time since I've watched the anime and I can't remember much of what drew me to Karma in the first place that isn't already achieved in other of my favorite characters. Still, I thought I'd honor him here.

[miaitzia]

Souheki In Dazai’s Entrance Exam

plz don't take this post too seriously.It's not some proper analysis, mostly just my thoughts about the interactions.A little bias because I hc they actually are very close.maybe i'll make a post about why I think so in the future.

“So, newbie. Uh…Dazai, was it? Where did you work prior to coming here?” “Hmm?” Ranpo’s expression has faded, his eyes peering into Dazai’s as if he is searching for something. “I didn’t really do anything after finishing school.Was just kinda around, you know?” A few seconds go by as Ranpo silently stares at Dazai.Finally… “Oh, that’s nice. Anyway, welcome to the agency.” And that’s it. He begins laying out the documents across the desk as if nothing happened. What was that just now?

So since LN1 is in Kunikida's pov.Notice how in this scene not only Ranpo is staring at Dazai,Dazai was ALSO looking back.IT WAS MUTUAL.They were both silently observing each other.i assume Dazai’s back was face Kunikida so that’s why we can’t see his expressions.

ok this part is just my pure delusion but i imagine Dazai was wearing his usual plastic smile(yk he still not used to interact with others )when answering Ranpo,but as time passed by,it has faded just like Ranpo’s.Then they just have some of the most intense staring contest.Imagine the tension in the room lol,no wonder Kunikida was so confused.I also believe Ranpo's response is some kind of his way to implicitly promise Dazai he won't expose him and wish him good luck on starting a new path. 

i think dazai was confident that no one will find out his past since they can’t use ability on him,and in those few seconds he realized Ranpo just figured it out(tbh maybe even more than that considered Ranpo have met oda the day he died and ada collaborate with special division sometimes he may have met Ango),thus he started to question if that’s actually his ability.

“Dazai, what was that about?” “Don’t ask me… By the way, what kind of skill user is Ranpo?” 

lol Kunikida was so clueless,he’s like you two just met what r you up to what’s with that silent intense staring.

“What?! Is there really a skill like that?!” It seems even Dazai can hardly believe it.”  “I dunno, it’s just hard to believe a skill like that actually exists.” He doesn’t appear convinced.

It's hilarious Dazai asked Kunikida what Ranpo’s ability is when the man himself is just right in front of him. 

“That’s what makes it so amazing! Listen to this. When Ranpo was thinking, I sneaked up behind him and pinched some of his hair.”

Dazai openly doubted if an ability like it would exist before Ranpo started deducing.So Ranpo may have been cautious and noticed Dazai was sneaking behind and testing it.But weirdly he didn’t seem to mind if Dazai would tell the others(yes i believe he had already knew he doesn't have one even before LN1)like that’s not one of his biggest secret.

Even if he didn't notice at that time,he surely would when he noticed Kunikida’s curious gaze next time they met.But he never said anything for yrs.Maybe he was just rather let others know than confronts it with Dazai.He didn't directly admit to Yosano in guild arc either.

Ranpo who never tells others Dazai’s past VS Dazai who shamelessly continually tells ada members Ranpo is abilityless will never not be funny to me.

But seriously Ranpo is so sweet he trust and respect Dazai from the very start, even knows his background he still completely accepted him, willing to give him a chance to be with the good side.i love souheki.

“He possesses tremendous deductive and observational skills that your average fictional detective could only dream of.” “That’s what impressed me. A skill would make this just another phenomenon, which wouldn’t even be surprising, let alone impressive. But Ranpo is utilizing his brain, something we all have, to reach these conclusions.” “That guy’s got some serious powers of deduction and observation! And even Ranpo himself seems to think he’s using a skill. Man, that is one amazing detective. I need to start applying myself more.”

Aside from genuine appreciation here,it may also because of his gratitude for Ranpo’s silence.

I love seeing Dazai simping over Ranpo.Like even in current arc he still praises him a lot.He's so fond of him🥲🥲🥲

[tatasoom]

PREVIEW IS PLAYING WITH US!

Hello, fellow Last Twilight fans! I'm impressed by your incredible analysis and also endlessly thankful for all beautiful gifs, so I've decided to do... an investigation🙌

I'm sure this very last moment of next episode's preview seems the most thrilling:

But what if I'll tell you, based on all videos that we have, that this Friday's episode mainly won't be about August?..

First of all we will start here: another Day and Mhok morning, directed as always with love by P'Aof👇

They're happily laughing, making jokes and just shining from happiness.

And only after this cute scene we'll come to August. I recommend you to remember what P'Aof said about him: he isn't a bad guy, but he's a complicated character.

So yeah, we have Day facing maybe his closest friend from "previous" life while standing next to his boyfriend from current life. And by August and Day being shocked we can be sure that it's their first meeting since Day's life has changed forever.

As if it's not enough for just one episode we'll have another Day and August meeting! This time it's not a coincidence. August is happy, Day is confused (I think) and Mhok is full of jealousy (The Killers started playing in my head).

Now you can tell: "Wait, what? There's no such a scene in the preview!". You're right, I got these shots from a trailer and "Before Last Twilight". But look at this moment from the preview without honey lemon tea all over them:

- Are you going to eat at home for the rest of your life?

- What if I eat out and make a mess?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Mhok and Day are going to have a dinner date after meeting August twice already.

Now look at this moment from the preview, where Phojai is asking Mhok why he's wearing so much perfume (knowing that he's already seen Day with that too close friend August twice!)👇👇👇

My heart barely survived four episodes, but that's just a start! Damn you, P'Aof and all writers of this show! I love you so much!

I also need to mention their upcoming flower market date (another date omg they're spoiling us!), even though I can't tell you for sure whether it will happen after first time meeting August or at the end of the episode. Seems like it's a beautiful last part of the episode, but I don't have a proof.

The main idea of the next episode is blossoming feelings between Mhok and Day (with August being a catalyst, spices for the main course). Look how Mhok is catching with his eyes every Day's movement, every Day's smile!

And last but not least thing to mention.

This scene that's gonna break our hearts to heal it immediately, because this growing closeness of two who was closed to all the world is everything!

Thank you for finishing this long post! I really appreciate it and all reactions are very welcome! Also I already have some other thoughts on different moments and want to analyse upcoming previews using this bunch of screenshots. Spoiler: we'll see an interesting moment with that t-shirt Day bought with Mhok in the previous episode (intriguing, huh?).

This was my very first time writing and posting something like this, so we can agree Last Twilight makes people going crazy haha

[yukimomodivorce]

top 5 idolish7 scenes

top 5....... I can't narrow it down without spending at least 11 days going through everything so this is probably more gonna be the first five that I think of

(also vague parts 4-5 spoilers since I know some people aren't caught up yet, I'll note them down as they come up as well)

1: [part 5] (majority of re:vale scenes could go here but I'm limiting it to my absolute favourite) the beach scene. right after they finish writing kokoro harebare. it's just so. they're so fucking cute here I am going to throw up. re:vale exiled to a deserted island to have marital issues and they solve them with the power of being horrendously in love with each other and actually communicating for once in their fucking lives.... you win this round, re:vale. yukimomodivorce foiled again

2: first beat yamamitsu bench scene (the "I'd rather try as hard as I can, succeed as best I can and be as happy as I can" one). I love mitsuki so so much yyou have no idea

3: nagi wants me fucking dead in third beat and part 4 but I'm gonna have to go with the skit concept ("it's not funny. no, wait. I'm laughing.") just because that hit me so hard the first time I saw it. got home and watched that episode the day it came out (pre-hyperfixation) and was just completely floored. I had to rewatch it like 5 times (also honourable mention to the tower scene cause I really love yamato's "you're right here, buddy")

4: [part 4] zool interview scene. all of zool part 4 wants me dead also but yeah. that one is so ououhhgg haruka especially is great here. just steals the camera halfway through the interview. there are other haruka moments I would put here as well but I don't wanna go too far down that rabbit hole right now he will make me cry

5: past yuki "I kill myself writing these songs" I hate him I hate him I hate him. yuki depression/re:member ghost analysis post is coming one of these days...... one of them

also I didn't count any side content here but last honourable mention goes to the fuckign. yuki xmas magic rabbichat. "what I'm saying is that I feel the weight of love. love is ambiguous however. the whole time I lived with momo it was the first time I thought believing in it might be fine. I'm really scared to lose momo. maybe this is love" (tells tsumugi he'll send nude onsen pics of momo to her literally immediately after this. Worst yuki rabbichat featuring Worst yuki moments please read it)

[onyxsboxes]

First line analysis

Rules: post the first lines of up to 10 of your last fics/chapters posted on AO3 or your WIPs and try to draw some conclusions.

Thank you @alienoresimagines and @rambleonwaywardson for the tag (I'm very late at this 😅)

Okay, so here the last one i posted

Monoceros Buck lets himself be enveloped by the scent of the forest, the bark biting into his back and the pin-leaf beneath him. It's cold, wisps of smoke escaping delicately from his mouth and nose into the dark.

So tell me is there somewhere else that you wanna go? Bucky just finishes putting a bottle of water in his backpack when he hears the familiar sound of Buck's footsteps coming back into their shared room. Ah, he's just in time.

My love for you burns like a thousand suns Bucky lets out a hiss at Buck's touch, trying to escape the fingers running over his sensitive skin.

Mom Harding and her two sons Beth has been married to Neil for almost twenty years now. They married right after graduation, their love obvious from the start. And their love has only grown stronger with each passing year. More than love, they've come to share an understanding and respect for each other that makes her smile every time she thinks about it.

Dad Harding and his two sons Everyone in the unit has heard of Colonel Harding's sons. Two boys he and his wife adopted during the war. Two sons who needed a better family. The eldest, John, always full of joy and ready for adventure, and Gale, the youngest, more reserved and smart as a whip.

100th founds out (Meatball's chapter) Food Giver gives Meatball leash to a new human. Oh, so Food Giver has enough of Meatball. Food Giver has always said that if Meatball isn't good, he'll give him to the Nanoq (polar bear), whatever that means.

Let's take a walk in the woods Today has been a long, interminable day. The training was hard and difficult, the instructors never satisfied with their results. Normally, after a day like this one, he likes to hang out with the guys. He relaxes with a joke, makes a bet or two, drinks alcohol: a beer or a whisky, and lets the pressure off. Being surrounded by people always helps him to relax, to focus on something.

Wait, WHAT ? One of the 100th's most well-known secrets isn't what anyone might expect. Everyone on the base knows about it, but none of them openly discusses it.

Buck meets Gale (Bucky's chapter) Bucky is so excited. The boys landed just a few minutes ago. After all those weeks of waiting, his Buck is finally here, right next to him. After weeks, he can finally reach out and touch him. To feel the warm skin of his arms and not the cold of the empty leather seats.

Bucky meets Gale The first time Bucky met Gale was ... a hell of a day, to put it simply. He had just returned from his first flight into the war zone. He still doesn't know what happened up there. How to understand the chaos of the situation? The desperation, everyone trying to stay alive in these flying coffins.

I'll say I like to start in the middle of scenes or actions, quiet vaguely before stepping back a bit and explaining little by little what's going on. Or start with generalities/rumors and then either validate them or shake them up. I love misdirection and when something is not what it seems a bit to much 😅

If you want to do it, consider yourself tagged 😉

[mirror-to-the-past]

Finished playing 358/2 Days! Needless to say, I now understand Xion's deal. The only thing that I raise an eyebrow at in terms of confusion was what Xion was to Sora and the nature of her design. I'll touch on the latter first, as the former is moreso story analysis from me and becomes more rambling.

How was it exactly that Xion was able to slowly sap memories of Sora's? In my understanding of Replica Riku's functioning, he was injected with Sora's (Edit: Riku's memories, I recall, albeit still tampered by Naminé) memories as per Naminé's influence. However, it seems Naminé had no power over Xion, leading me to wonder how the memories were given to her in the first place. Was it purely because of her being around Roxas, who has Sora's memories, that she was unknowingly able to do so? I could believe that she was created with an inclination towards such a function that then kicked into gear upon exposure.

As for "what Xion was to Sora," Riku says to Mickey that she has Sora's memories of Kairi (which, I'd like to mention, Riku believes were those "most precious" to him. I found that telling, especially considering how avoidant he was of Sora in the following game chronologically, KH2. I don't believe he considered himself important to Sora following his actions in the previous games, poor guy. Roxas' dream/memory of Sora being left behind by Riku and co. in Hollow Bastion where he cried upon waking says otherwise, regarding how much Riku's opinion means to Sora. I digress.) Naminé adds onto that by telling Xion that he views her (through Roxas, I assume) as he remembered Kairi. This is further demonstrated by Xion, in her imaginary sequence with Roxas, her, and Axel in Destiny Islands' Paopu tree sitting in the places of Sora, Kairi, and Riku accordingly. However, there's much more to Xion than JUST Kairi. If she just had Sora's memories of Kairi, there would be no reason for Roxas having his entirety sapped by her, first of all. Xion was taking much more than things regarding Kairi, from anything like Sora/Roxas' battle techniques, to memories of happenings in other worlds, things like keyholes and whatnot. That's not even to mention that SOMEHOW, Xion, and I would then assume also Sora by proxy, had memories of Riku's confrontation with Zexion in his portion of CoM! Double that with the fact that although her hairstyle was similar to Kairi's, she has Sora's eyes, and a grayscale (since it's black) hair coloring like Riku, and she's more like a combination of the trio of Islanders. Which would make more sense and be less reductive than just: "Xion is everything Kairi to Sora," because just that would write out a lot of other stuff Xion took, too.

Anyway...

That fever dream sequence was so interesting?? The fact that that scene from CoM was re-highlighted by the 358/2 Days story as important has me boggling my mind. Why is it that Xion widened her eyes in surprise and shapeshifted to Sora at the part where Zexion said: "You were the one that destroyed your home!" Even though it was established in that original scene that Riku was the one who did that by opening the Door to Darkness? The intrigue? Aaaa? What could this mean?? Going insane! CoM continues to be the most important game, with the Replicas now being revisited in Days, it being the birthplace of repressed memories of Sora's and sort of kick-starting the whole thing with how memories continue to exist within the heart as feelings regardless of conscious awareness of them, the memory of Sora's that Naminé messed with regarding the meteor shower (the event and imagery that keeps getting brought up across games- it feels important) (As of writing this I have now started Birth By Sleep and once again have raised an eyebrow at the meteor shower in the opening movie and tutorial sequence), man, CoM!

So, that's pretty much everything cohesive from the top of my head. Now comes the part of this post where I generally scream about things that I can recall from the story and general sentiments:

Xigbar is establishing a theme that for every game he's in, he says something extremely intriguing at the end and then nopes out. KH2 he hinted at other Keyblade wielders and then died. This game he sees in Xion who I now know as Ventus (I yelled: "That can't be Roxas, he's wearing different clothes" upon seeing that part and surprisingly I was right, lol) and then doesn't elaborate. So curious about this eye-patched man and all the things he knows.

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT AXEL'S NAME BEING LEA! 🎊 I have no idea what Saïx was like before he became a Nobody, but this guy is a complete jackass as of now, so I don't know why he'd think he's hot enough shit to pull the "you're prioritizing your new, fake friendships over the *real* ones from before, Lea," card, because dude. Axel deserves better than your blue-haired ass. I called him so many names this game, sorry to any Saïx enjoyers. Actually, not sorry. He's mean.

When Roxas flaked out in his and Axel's expedition to Castle Oblivion, and then emerged to consciousness with a yell of "RIKU!" I laughed so much. Like... of course Sora's subconscious gut response of even slightly engaging with a Riku-based stimuli would hit so hard that even his Nobody would then emulate a teaspoon of Sora's oncoming KH2 behavior. Roxas was just like *screwed up expression* 'Where the hell did that come from.' Hah.

Speaking of sad boy Wiku who I now hold in my hands so gently, his entire interaction with Xion post fever dream was one of my favorite parts of the game. He was so immediately kind towards the Nobodies/Replicas, once again, in a way that no one else has been, not least themselves. Of course, as it's implied that Riku likely saw Sora's face in Xion's, I imagine it would be harder to be especially cruel to her, but considering his sympathy towards Roxas in KH2, I think it's just in his nature. Just...

"Do you hate me for taking your friend away from you?"

"No. I'm just... sad."

IT WAS SO SIMPLE, YET SO EFFECTIVE. GUT PUNCH. OWIE.

Added Riku note: I only now noticed in the final duel between Roxas and Riku that Oblivion, the Riku Keyblade, has the same silver crown on Sora's necklace on the end of it. 🤔 Storing this interesting information away for later...

Xion! I love Xion so much! The fact that she was ready to go down a-blazing at the end because of how she knew she was hurting Roxas? AGH. Killed me. And yet, she got so wrapped up in her sense of purposelessness without Sora that she still was ready to take Roxas down with her at the same time? It feels so contradictory, and yet it doesn't! She didn't want Roxas to suffer, and she especially didn't want Roxas to suffer and feel, as she perceived it, incomplete. And just... ah.... she wanted to give him the greatest gift she felt like someone else could give her: a feeling of belonging in identity. Except she never truly realized that Roxas had found a different answer to that question than she had, even if it turned out to be a shaky one: he found his sense of home in the loved ones around him. He never cared to learn about himself or his origins when he was with her and Axel. His diary entries repeatedly showed him forgetting to ask Xion about his Sora dreams, and repeatedly forgetting to show Axel the Winner stick, because all he could care about when being with his friends was... being with them. Never answers. He only wanted answers when he had nothing else. Whereas with Xion, she was the one who would say she wanted everything to stay the same between them, and yet she, in a conflicting manner, was the one disastifsifed without having answers, therefore driving the three of them further apart.

And MAN the Winner stick with Axel! When he pulled it out of the envelope at the end of the game... ouch. I personally wonder if Xion was the one who gave it to him, considering between grilling Axel for answers and then escaping the castle, I didn't see any off screen time for Roxas to have given Axel the stick. However, in the in-between time of Xion being apprehended by Xemnas and fighting Roxas, there's definitely a window of time where Xion could've given the slipped the Winner stick to Axel, perhaps as a final attempt to reconcile him and Roxas. I personally found that thought so affective that unless there's a canon alternative, I've accepted that as my headcanon. It's definitely something I could see Xion doing and man, I love her. I have hope about Roxas being able to reemerge from Sora somehow down the line, but Xion? What with no one even remembering her and being a blank canvas of an individual to begin with, I don't have as much hope for her. I want to, but... :(

Lastly, poor Axel being stuck in the middle the whole time. That scene where he told Xion that 'he was the one who would always bring her back' rendered my soul vulnerable as all hell. That was the closest I got to crying, honestly. His voice actor perfectly exuded that angry, torn up feeling of trying so hard to help someone who doesn't want to be saved, despite everything. That line perfectly encapsulated Axel's struggle of being stuck in the middle this entire game series. Being a double-double agent in the Castle Oblivion mission. Knowing his previous life, and trying to appease the connections he has in this one. Trying to make it good in the Organization. Trying to find his own freedom. Trying to be a good friend to Roxas and Xion, even when he knows they're destroying each other. He just felt so helpless by the end of this game, seeing how despite trying so hard, despite saying the things he was meant to and keeping quiet about the things he wasn't supposed to, he ended up losing everything it was all for, in the end. By being too careful, he was left scorned and abandoned by the only things that mattered. I bet he wished he would have said "I would miss you," more than he did.

All in all, really interesting experience playing a game I knew was gonna end badly since finishing KH2, all while still becoming invested regardless. It was like reading some sort of old tragedy. I think the KH strategy is to confuse you just enough that you get invested by your attempts to understand the plot, therefore trapping you into becoming emotionally invested, as well. Good plan, writers. I'm taking notes. Another compliment to the writers, I've not found KH's dialogue bad, but it's not stood out to me a bunch for the most part. This game had some really good dialogue writing though, in my opinion. Liked it a lot.

Like I said, I've now booted up Birth By Sleep, and already have my head abound with theories and questions and- Xehanort's old now? I thought this was a prequel! Luke Skywalker is a Keyblade Master mentor? Why does Terra enunciate in lowercase? Why does Roxas look like Ventus? Okay, I do have a theory for that one, given the intro...

I restarted my playthrough after starting as Aqua, because I quickly realized doing so was going to make the story seem very disorderly. Stay tuned for my continued documentation of my KH journey! I'm healing post-358/2 Days by playing KH monopoly in Birth By Sleep's Command Board minigame, lol.

[gqa-lite]

'Where we’re going with ‘Frozen’ did not come from me. It came from an incredible person. That’s a new piece, I’ve told no one. And I’ve been blown away by it'

and

'They told us, the day of, and a little bit about what they’re thinking. It got us very excited. Now, we have to let the wheels of Hollywood do what they do, but we were very excited with their ideas'

can we talk about what these two interviews imply? lee and lopezes know what frozen 3 plot is about and they both admit it's ~amazing~. I think it bodes very well for the movie and we're in for a one hell of a ride.

the only thing that worries me is idina's lack of any reaction. she must know the plot, I'm sure someone from disney has called her and they talked about this. yet the only thing she said when asked about frozen 3 is 'yeah I'm happy 'cause I'll be able to pay my bills'...

anyway, I'm very intriqued by this whole thing. what are these ideas that got them so excited? I must know! maybe it's about Elsa finding romance? but on the other hand I don't believe romantic sub-plot is something that would make lee's mind blow away. let alone make her greenlit the threequel.

or maybe it's about neighbouring kingdom attacking arendelle? it would be too much like frozen 2, tho.

uuuuGGGhhh I just can't stop thinking about it!

Kristen Bell also lightly announced F3 back in 2022 but said she wasn't in charge to 'officially' announce it. This tells me she had heard about it (maybe small talks or rumors...or she's directing it just saying) and that they were actually, at the very least, talking about the film since 2022.

What's interesting about the quote "It's a new piece" tells me that while Frozen and Frozen 2 are meant to be one complete story, Frozen 3 might be starting something different, and may not even be called Frozen 3. It makes sense - Frozen 2 doesn't have a special title, it's literally just Frozen part 2.

Basically, every plot point introduced and explored in the first two films could very well be finished, and now we're treading new territory with these characters. Honestly, this possibility screams for an analysis post on who the characters are now and who they'll be going forward, and what plot points we'll most likely be leaving behind (for better or for worse). Stay tuned for this on my main blog haha.

In terms of Elsa maybe finding romance - My honest opinion is that Elsa won't be getting any romance (male or female) and remain ace. However, I do think they might heavily imply a strong connection to Honey, since fans were already on board with them and they already had a fairly close scene in F2, which opens up some more narrative opportunities between them. I'm 100% certain that there will be no prince though.

Now, in terms of Idina Menzel not being enthusiastic....that's kind of her overall personality, to be honest. I don't know Idina personally of course, but from what I've seen, she's a bit on the introverted side unless she's acting or singing. If you look at her during the Making of Frozen 2 Documentary, she also seems a bit unenthusiastic. Again, I think she's just acting that way because it's her personality, not because she's not interested in the film. But that's my personal observation.

[aghostinmyownmachine]

more of this thing! turns out writing sixty is a blast, which I shouldn't be surprised by tbh. I am very much feeling my way through these scenes, I have no real goals and no real ideas of where things are going. also mixed metaphorical imagery ahoy because I am too tired to make it cohesive tonight. onward!

Nines is—fine. He is.

At first.

But the infected are all fine at first. The problems only crop up in the days following, once the infection's had time to dig into an android's code and chew it apart like blight, like rot in a system of roots. In a strange way, androids are as analogous to botanical organisms as they are to humans, both in language and in function. This has only become more true the longer the infection—human and android—has existed.

Sixty doesn't like the growing parallels between organic and machine death. He can't solve organic entropy, but maybe, with enough focus and enough information and enough time, he can solve digital entropy. The malware kind, anyway.

rA9 take them all them if he can't.

"I know it's counterintuitive," he tells Nines, currently interfacing with one of a dozen closed systems he has rigged up in the former archive room, "but don't fight the infection. Not right now, not until I say. I need unaltered data."

Nines nods, LED spinning yellow-red-yellow-red-yellow. More stable in that regard than Sixty was expecting, but then again, Nines isn't a garden-variety deviant. If anyone can keep his cool under crushing stress, it'll be him.

Connor, on the other hand.

Sixty clasps Nines's shoulder briefly on his way out. He could be reviewing the compiling data right now, but the analysis will take at least ten minutes, and there's little point trying to parse half-finished data. Better he put his extremely limited and thus valuable time into tasks he can accomplish without having to pause halfway through. Allocation of time has become one of his most critical skills. So he seals the glass door behind him, ensures the seals have locked, then palms open the door leading to the storage room tucked beneath the stairs. It used to hold hard-copy files; now it's stuffed with untainted thirium and shelf-stable food and, in the far corner, half hidden behind a stack of cardboard boxes, one RK800 Connor model having a very quiet breakdown.

Sixty isn't a warm personality. He was activated to treachery and death, and he wears the scars of his own on his faceplate like they're a shield and a sword. Even if he was good for it, he can't offer warmth and comfort the way androids are built to best receive them. In the bare picoseconds between critical processes, he rages against his own limitations, endless, endless, endless.

His HUD flashes: RK800 313 248 317 - 52 "Connor" system stress 96%

It's the highest he's seen yet.

"If you're going to start self-destructing, at least let me grab a pillow first to shove between your head and the wall."

Connor huffs, a broken sound, scratchy with static, and doesn't lift his forehead off his arms, crossed over his drawn-up knees. "Sure, Six."

Sixty leans against the pile of boxes, close but not crowding. If he's also shielding Connor from the sight of anyone who might happen to wander in, well. It's not like they'll talk about it. "Reed's wrong, you know."

That Connor doesn't immediately agree says all Sixty needs to hear. "He isn't, entirely."

"He is, entirely. I'm learning more about this virus every hour. It's just he can't see the progress because time vacillates too much the way human brains perceive it."

Some of the static bleeds out of Connor's voice, making way for what might almost be called amusement. "I'm pretty sure that's the nicest thing you've ever said about Gavin."

"And if you tell him that, I'll have to kill you." Sixty gifts Connor a sharp smile when he looks up, but he is looking up, and his stress levels have dropped a percent and a half, and Sixty tries really very hard not to think about just how much thirium Connor's burning through the longer his systems run on the ragged edge of stable. He nudges Connor's knee with his. "C'mon, Nines could use a friendly face about now."

"That rules you out." Connor nudges him back and takes a deep breath. It's unnecessary, but Sixty doesn't comment because he understands. The gestures humans use to ground themselves aren't so different from those that work on androids. Sixty wonders if plants also sigh with stress and frustration and relief. He's heard his little orange-flowering Schlumbergera truncata whispering ("Just call it a Christmas cactus like us normal folk, Six," Hank told him dryly), so who's to say it can't sigh. He just needs to figure out how to ask it, if only he could find the time. It always comes down to lack of time.

"My face is a delight," Sixty says, flat, and offers Connor a hand up. I wish I could help you more but this is the best I can do.

Connor's capable of standing on his own, but he still accepts the assistance. Once upright, he drags his thumb over the ridges of Sixty's knuckles before letting go, and Sixty images he hears a whispered Thank you. It'll have to be enough.

"Your face is a disaster, but we put up with you anyway." Connor grabs a tin of lentils from one of the shelves and uses it to nudge Sixty toward the door. "Come on, zombie bait, we can't leave the baby alone for too long. Who knows what he'll do."

Sixty laughs, but it warps around the edges. Give it a few days and control will be the last thing Nines has. Connor knows this, but he's trying, always trying so hard, to put on a brave face, to neither sugarcoat nor catastrophize, to maintain the balance of situations that are constantly doing their damnedest to throw him and everyone he cares about overboard.

Not for the first time, Sixty's glad he died Connor and was resurrected someone else. He'd rather deal with the pressure of potentially being the only one capable of drumming up a cure for all androidkind than whatever it is that Connor has going on. Stress kills humans, and it turns out it kills androids too.

And Sixty? Is tired of burying people he cares about. Which means Nines'll be fine.

He has to be. Because Sixty can't think about what'll happen to Connor if he isn't.

Next up is Connor!

Poor guy is STRESSED. He has no idea what to do, so he's doing everything. Documenting, scouting, helping out wherever he can...constantly. Connor can most often be found trailling behind Hank, taking note of everything he says and carrying out tasks too difficult for the lieutenant. He is super protective of everyone, and therefore tries to keep everyone in relatively good spirits. When going out to scout the city, Connor wears multiple layers to protect from being interfaced with. Those infected androids can have some sharp parts. Hank can't remember the last time his LED was anything but red..

[iristial]

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 1)

So I’ve already written a lengthy essay about Natsume and Mikan’s relationship in the anime. It had to be split into six parts so I could post it on Tumblr with images in tow. I was distressed about this because my Natsume analysis was already JUST as long, and I had only reached the Reo Arc. Yeah, so if you thought my anime essay was long, tedious, or annoying, this one will be a thousand times worse.

Possible trigger warning for this meta here (for the whole thing), because I'll be talking in depth about child abuse, bullying, depression, and suicidal ideation.

My Natsume NM analysis is LONG and ongoing (as in I'm still writing it) and it'll take me another month to finish it if I continue at the rate I'm doing it now, analyzing about a volume a day. I've asked a little and people seem to be okay with the idea of me posting in intervals, probably once a day. Thus, I'm going to be updating the tag on an almost daily basis, ideally.

As a result, I don't think I'll put a table of contents here. There will simply be too many parts and it would be way too long and annoying to put on one post. It would take forever to scroll past to get to the actual analysis parts, so I'll just include next and previous links at the bottom like last time and leave it at that. I will also have all of the parts under the tag "let's talk about natsumikan: natsume" on my blog if you want to find all these posts, and if you want to see the anime ones too it'll be all under "let's talk about natsumikan" or "ga meta: nm". Really, just check the tags under this post and you'll see plenty you can use to navigate for my annoying thoughts.

ANYWAY, I decided to divide my analysis into three parts, because they made the most sense to me that way: the anime, Natsume, and then Mikan. I split it this way because I always thought the manga and anime were quite different, with the anime doing very different things with their characters and their relationships as a whole, so it deserved an analysis independent of the manga, where I can discuss the changes and how they affected NatsuMikan in particular. I could do one huge essay for manga!NatsuMikan in the same vein as the anime one, where I discuss both perspectives and experiences interchangeably, but it would simply be too long and it would get rather messy. It’s easier and more cohesive to divide the manga analysis into two very important parts: discussing Natsume’s perspective first and then Mikan’s.

So why Natsume first? Mikan is the primary character in the story, and her point of view is the most instrumental. After all, it’s through her that we learn almost everything we do. We only learn Natsume’s backstory when Ruka tells it to Mikan; we learn Yuka’s backstory when Mikan does; we find out about Hotaru’s brother only when Mikan does. Mikan’s big grand discoveries are our own, and in that way she really is Alice in Wonderland, discovering everything around her for the first time.

That being said, there are plenty of things we don’t learn from Mikan. When we first find out for sure that Natsume has the life shortening alice, it’s almost a hundred chapters before Mikan gets confirmation, when Tsubasa and Natsume discuss it. We know that Natsume loves Mikan for a while before she gets any inkling about it. Why is this?

Because Natsume’s perspective, when we are lucky enough to get it, is much more straightforward. He doesn’t really discover or learn things, he simply copes with things that are already ruining his life. Especially when it comes to NatsuMikan, Natsume’s perspective is most reliable because we know everything from him already. We can tell when he falls in love with her, we can tell when he plans to give her his alice stone (almost a full year before they do the exchange), and we can tell which scenes are loaded with romantic intent even if Mikan can’t see it. Mikan’s role in the story is to discover, Natsume’s is to give us secrets that we have to keep from the rest of the cast.

And it’s because of this difference that Natsume is first. Because he’s much easier to analyze. He already knows he loves Mikan. We already know he loves Mikan. There’s no discovery. The only journey here is how his feelings get stronger and more intense. After all, most fanfiction keeps a pretty consistent view on Natsume’s feelings, even in AUs. It’s clear, even if most readers aren’t sitting around analyzing him. Mikan’s feelings are trickier, because she’s not really aware of them either. I save the hardest analysis for last, and even though Natsume acts mysterious, the real mystery here is Mikan.

Natsume

Natsume at the very start is so cold, it's surprising that he has the fire alice...

Sadly, we’ll have to put off the actual story analysis for a little, because before we can talk about Natsume and Mikan, we have to talk a little bit about Natsume.

Natsume is ten years old at his introduction. In my opinion, he is the most tragic character I’ve ever encountered in my twenty-some years of consuming media. (I cannot think hard about him for more than a minute without starting to cry and that’s not really an exaggeration.) Naturally, that isn’t an objective fact, and some might disagree with me, but one thing I can say for sure is that his tragedies have made him a very interesting character.

I say this because sometimes people see Natsume as nothing more than an asshole, and not as a deeply traumatized child who has been forced to act like an adult for most of his life. So many of the cruel things he does are things he is forced into doing, and understanding this, and why he distances himself from the people he loves the most, is crucial to understanding him and what exactly it is about Mikan that he is so drawn to.

From birth, Natsume was plagued with the knowledge that he would die earlier than his sister. It was never a secret for him that he had the life-shortening alice. His mother talked to him about it, but under no circumstances is that knowledge easy to deal with. It is always a struggle and a burden to know that your life has a time limit on it. He was also a bit older than his sister when his mother was murdered, and thus is a little better at comprehending the act for what it was. Even when his father discusses the event with Ruka, he downplays it as his wife dying in an accident. Natsume argues that it probably wasn’t an accident. Furthermore, he is very conscious about what his family is running away from, while Aoi is way more in the dark about their situation. They send Aoi away from the door when Alice scouts come by, while eight-year-old Natsume stays to confront them.

He is already acting like a mini-adult by the time Ruka meets him. He’s had very few friends, if any, and is just as lonely as Ruka, and his inherent differences from the kids around him play into that. Not only is he an Alice, but he has struggles in his life almost nobody could comprehend.

Yet despite his maturity for an eight-year-old, he still acts like a kid too. He teases his friend, argues with his sister, jumps from windows, plays, and even smiles sometimes. For all his maturity, he’s still a little boy. He has no choice but to have knowledge about his situation, about his alice and the school his family is desperately avoiding, but his dad isn’t forbidding him from fun and friendships. He’s encouraged to make friends and be as much of a kid as he can in his situation.

The trouble is when he’s forced to transfer to Alice Academy despite all his family’s efforts. He makes a selfless choice for his sister’s sake, a decision no child should be forced to make. All in the span of less than twenty-four hours, Natsume chooses to sacrifice himself for his sister, pushes his only friend away to protect him, and gets in the car to drive to what has for his whole life been the worst possible scenario. He knows his life will be hell there. He knows that the school has been eyeing him for his powerful alice his whole life. He knows he will suffer beyond imagination and comprehension and he chooses it anyway, because it will--in his mind--keep his sister safe.

How to make me start ugly sobbing without any words ^^^

He chooses not to say goodbye to his father, and Ruka doesn’t really understand why at first until he turns around and sees that Natsume is crying already. His father knows that his son is being sent to Hell, and for Natsume it’s the next adult thing he has to do to tell the driver to speed up so that he doesn’t see his father again and break down like a child would. Natsume thinks of himself as an adult now, in almost every way but bodily.

And then there is Ruka, who Natsume would never have anticipated would follow him to the ends of the earth and to the furthest reaches of hell. After all, Ruka has been avoiding the school his whole life too. He knows it’s no normal school, or fun sunshiney place. He knows that it will be horrible, but he decides to go anyway, because he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and because he doesn’t want Natsume to be alone anymore either. Ruka came along so that Natsume could have some semblance of happiness and joy despite all the abuse.

Then Ruka is turned into a weapon. Natsume does not blame Ruka for this, but there’s a new wall between them. Natsume cannot escape his hell, not even with Ruka, because Ruka is yet another thing Natsume would sacrifice himself for. The more I think about it the more I want to write an essay about Natsume and Ruka’s friendship, because they’re my second favorite relationship in the story and my favorite fictional friendship of all time, so I’ll save some analysis on them for the future.

By the time the first chapter happens, Natsume has been forcibly separated from his family, has had no choice but to act like an adult despite being only ten, has gone on life-or-death missions for his evil school, and has put his body through the wringer in the process. When he reveals to Tsubasa how sick he is, he says he’s been in that shape for a year. Natsume is already anticipating his death and is aware that he doesn’t have a chance of lasting even close to how long his mother did.

I bring all this up because what Natsume has been through and how miserable and hopeless he is when he first meets Mikan, even with his best friend by his side, is the foundation for how quickly and intensely he falls for her. Analyzing the hows and whys of their relationship would be incomplete if I didn’t mention who exactly he is by the time he meets her.

To be entirely honest, the essay I've written about the first few chapters might look like this too. They might seem unromantic, and that's okay. NatsuMikan need to be introduced as their own characters before and throughout being actually paired together. So if it seems like I'm focusing too much on Natsume on his own, or later Mikan on her own, it's because their individual struggles are crucial to understanding behaviors and attitudes.

Chapter One

Am I really doing this? Am I really going to go through this whole manga chapter by chapter? Am I really convinced that there’s enough NatsuMikan content in nearly every chapter to warrant this kind of behavior?

Yes, I am! When I said it would be long, I MEANT it! We are going oFF!

Natsume is awake and present for exactly five pages in this chapter and I’m gonna analyze all I can think of!

He first appears via melodramatic explosion, standing confidently on the gate, attempting escape.

This alone serves several purposes: one, so that we can see that this school has some potential darkness. Kids are trying to run away, after all, meaning they can’t just leave on their own and meaning there’s something to run away from. Mikan might not think too much of this at first, but it’s a warning to us. After all, despite all of Higuchi Tachibana’s talk of this originally being a school comedy, it never was one, not as long as Natsume was a character. Conversely, for Mikan, this meeting is yet another reason on a list of reasons that this school is a freakshow, playing more into the school comedy aspect. Alice Academy is nothing like a normal school. Here, students run away via explosions and teachers talk with hearts in their speech bubbles. Natsume is testament to the bizarre, just another quirk in a school with infinite quirks.

Another purpose is to introduce Natsume as dangerous. Even before Mikan formally meets him, he demonstrates that his alice is powerful and life-threatening, but the irony of it is that later his alice only really seems dangerous to him. But beyond that, right now all we know of Natsume is that he is--presumably--the “bad boy” of the school, even if it’s reductive to categorize him like that.

And the most important purpose for the sake of this analysis, and from the perspective of knowing the whole story already (because it’s more fun this way, adding context), is that Natsume is doing this all out of uncharacteristic naivete and childishness.

We later find out, despite Misaki-sensei’s explanations, that Natsume wasn’t trying to escape for good, just for a short time to prove that he could, so that he could get his hands on a letter from his father. He knows that he won’t get it, and that the middle schoolers are just bullying him, but he’s willing to risk it for even the smallest chance that he could hear from his father again. He is not planning on being gone for long, as his escape isn’t real.

Natsume is childish here, because he’s willing to get himself into trouble for the chance of something he knows he won’t get, and even more, because later we find out that Ruka proposed they escape for a little while anyway. They’re both in a morose, unrealistic mood at this point, willing to face potentially horrifying consequences for a few hours of being careless and not having to worry about the academy and its demands. I don’t mean childish as a bad thing, especially not when it’s about Natsume, who should be childish.

Tragically his and Ruka’s entire plan is in shambles immediately, because Narumi has been waiting for him outside. Natsume’s caught, whipped, and laying on the ground when he first sees Mikan. There’s a moment of uncertainty when we think maybe he’ll use his alice on her to make a run for it, but Narumi stomps on his hand to stop him.

The Honeysuckle scans are so pretty, clear, and nice. I'd like to use them as my pic sources and might change all of them in the future as new chapters come out.

He is then threatened to not use his alice or Narumi would use his own, and so Natsume doesn’t, but Narumi uses his anyway and Natsume passes out, as all people inexperienced with romance do (I wonder what effect his alice would have on Natsume later in the story, who is so deeply entrenched in romance that it becomes one of his key motivations).

In all this time, we only see Natsume say one thing, to call Narumi a pervert, and all the information we get about this kid is from Narumi, who calls him a genius and tells Mikan what his alice is. Despite the limited knowledge we have about him now, though, his purpose is served: Mikan is fully freaked out.

Chapter Two

Immediately, Narumi leaves Mikan alone with Natsume at the main headquarters and she’s finally given the chance to panic about her new situation and--to put it frankly--the violence she just witnessed.

My biggest issue with Gakuen Alice as a work in general and Natsume in particular is how cavalier it is with child abuse. I’m not trying to vilify Narumi, but Mikan was perfectly right to be put off by his treatment of Natsume, and I personally am not much reassured by Misaki’s explanations that it was in Natsume’s best interests to be hit. For any victim of child abuse, that line sounds familiar. Yes, Natsume would probably have faced worse if his plan went further, and, yes, Natsume’s berserk button is impossible to switch off, but it still rubs me the wrong way. After all, Narumi was quite cheerful about the whole thing, and maybe that’s what stands out to me more than anything. “Did I hurt your pretty face?” and similar comments said to the child who is frequently beaten by adults at the school don’t seem like good word choices, to put it mildly.

Of course, Narumi has been playing a part this whole time to win over the academy’s trust so that he can enact change from inside, but this has been done at the expense of the students’ trust, especially Natsume’s.

It’s understandable that Natsume has such severe distrust and disdain towards every adult at the school, because they are all either complicit or directly involved in physically abusing him.

Moving on, Misaki makes a bold claim about Natsume that is inconsistent with what we know, having finished the story. Natsume is actually not a repeat offender of trying to escape. Natsume is being held in place by threats against Ruka and his family. Despite his dalliance with naivete this one time, he knows better than to risk his loved one’s safety for irresponsible desires like running away. He has more reason than anyone to want to leave the school, but he knows he can’t and there’s no way he ever would, chronic martyr that he is.

Realistically, this was probably nothing more than just a dumb comment from before Higuchi Tachibana got all the characters fully shored up, just a tiny mistake or plot hole.

When it comes to inconsistencies in media, I like to either disregard them or try to explain them in-universe, and I think I can explain this one this time. Misaki-sensei does not seem like he is fully involved with the higher ups in the academy. He doesn’t seem to have the ESP’s ear, like Narumi does on many occasions. He is just the biology teacher, and doesn’t know the ins and outs of Natsume’s troublemaking. After all, Natsume seems to ditch more classes than he attends, so maybe in Misaki’s mind, the kid is off trying to run away when he should be in bio.

In fact, when he moves on to discuss Natsume’s cat mask, in the manga it is Misaki who tells Mikan to be wary of “black cats”, warning her to stay away. It’s established that the mask is supposed to tamper alices, to “punish” dangerous children by de-powering them for a time until the mask is removed. But Misaki clarifies that the mask is useless on Natsume, whose alice is so strong, he could overpower even the mask. The mask is yet another example of physical abuse, actually, because it’s later revealed that it sends electric shocks, giving Natsume a persistent headache and keeping him in pain and in line.

So instead of trying to guide potentially dangerous students into better controlling their powers and emotions, you ostracize them and use them as child soldiers? Yeah, that makes sense.

It’s also, as Misaki puts it, a “red flag” to denote a dangerous child. Stay away is the message you’re supposed to get from the mask, ostracizing “dangerous” children from their peers and essentially “othering” them. More maliciously is that the mask is Natsume’s mission uniform. That is the face that the academy’s enemies see, so much so that he is simply known as the “Black Cat” in those circles, and as Reo later says, a nickname spoken in fear and awe. After all, it’s supposed to be used for alice restriction and punishment, and that’s what he wears when he’s supposed to be at his most powerful. It’s almost as though the academy is extra cruel for no reason other than for the pizazz.

The chat Misaki has with Mikan is pretty informative, and she acts as discoverer for us, finding out all these facts about Natsume and the academy, much of which we’ll get into when we explore her perspective, but for now, one of the most important things to take away from the conversation is Misaki’s comment that once Natsume is set off, he is impossible to calm down. This is foreshadowing, as Natsume will be set off within the first volume, the first arc, and it’s a crucial part of Mikan’s full introduction to him.

It’s also an interesting and consistent part of his character, and throughout the story it’s established that there are buttons you simply don’t press unless you want to get barbecued. For a boy who’s been forced into early adulthood and employs way more restraint and responsibility than a child ever should, it’s interesting to see him shed all maturity and reason whenever he’s set off.

Misaki leaves to the greenhouse, urging Mikan to press the emergency button if Natsume were to wake up.

And now is perhaps as good a time as any to properly meet Natsume, who wakes up and flings Mikan on to the couch.

A meet-cute! Or... nevermind...

So, to be entirely honest this next scene is supposed to be funny. Mikan is flung onto the couch and under attack by this dangerous black cat boy and at first it’s kinda scary! Then Ruka comes and it just becomes a little bullying episode! He takes her underwear off, how hilarious! There’s honestly not much more substance to the scene than that, as disappointing as that might be. Higuchi Tachibana herself merely explains it by establishing that he’s a pervert, and that’s all we have to run with for analysis. All it’s for is to make Natsume and Mikan enemies.

All that needed to be done to establish that though is an unpleasant encounter, and it could've been replaced with any other action and resulted in the same animosity. It is what it is though, and I can't change it so...

Moving on, the threat of possible discipline for his escape is eliminated once an ally (Ruka, who brings him security), and more pressing threats than Mikan (teachers) arrive, so he is able to run away and seek refuge from Class B, where he and Ruka pretend like nothing happened. Their escape attempt did not pan out at all, Natsume is not getting that letter, not that he ever was, and all they can do now is sit in their chaotic classroom.

Chapter Three

We see Natsume again when Mikan makes her Class B debut, perhaps an hour or so later. Mikan reacts to their second meeting with anger and high emotion--as is to be expected--and is only made angrier by Natsume and Ruka’s complete apathy.

The next thing we learn about Natsume, sadly, is that Natsume is considered something like a boss in Class B, and Mikan shouldn’t be expecting any support from a group that idolizes Natsume so much.

The rest of Class B rallies to bully Mikan, while Natsume sits there expressionless. It’s interesting to imagine this scene through his perspective, tricky as it might be, to imagine that there is a divide he is constantly living, between life-or-death missions and the reliable chaos of his homeroom class. Despite being the boss, despite being “Natsume-san”, he is really not emotionally invested in any of these antics. If anything, it’s just a way to pass the time.

They stopped paying attention at some point.

He doesn’t even say much throughout the confrontations, choosing instead to watch his classmates torture her on his behalf. It really only gets interesting to him when he discovers that Mikan was given a condition for her entry: she has to be accepted by Class B in order to officially enroll.

In your first read-through, you might find such a clause to be ridiculous, but since there’s so many bizarre happenings at this school, you might take it in stride as just another weird thing in a weird place. Reading again, or being Natsume, you’d know better: there was never a clause to begin with. That was a lie from Narumi, just one in a series of manipulations he makes to stir trouble in the academy like he promised Yuka.

The truth is that Mikan has an alice, but Narumi wants to see one last exhibit of proof, and even more he wants to see what happens when hers comes head to head with Natsume’s alice. He makes it clear that he knew Natsume would challenge Mikan, which he does, and that the challenge would allow Mikan to discover her alice, which it does. Narumi immediately pairs them together, and narratively speaking they’re already set up together. He calls Mikan Natsume’s “key”, and the reader should file that information away and see what he means by that.

Natsume knows the condition is a ruse. You’re either an alice, or you’re not, and there’s no way the school would take the chance to miss capturing another magical child to keep. All these games for one girl stand out, and the fact that Natsume couldn’t use his alice on her is even more reason for these events to be out of the ordinary, so he has no choice but to pay attention and get involved.

With that, Natsume sends Mikan on a mission to the Northern Woods with her friends as guides, knowing full well that the forest is off limits to students and that it harbors some dangers that may help prompt Mikan into using her alice.

Even Ruka is confused by all the effort Natsume is going to for this new kid, and Natsume brushes the confusion off.

Natsume and Ruka like playing cards with Usagi-chan!

Chapter Four

Mikan, Hotaru and Iinchou have a conversation about Natsume while on their mission, and several things are brought up--namely that he has a grudge against the school, has only one friend, and that he is rumored to be a murderer.

This makes a few things clear for us, but prompts new questions as well.

First, we see more proof that Natsume hates the academy, but more than anything it’s a reiteration of what Misaki said: that he causes trouble and has an incredibly powerful alice. We still aren’t sure of what the reason for his hatred might be, but we can see it’s potent.

Secondly, he has only one friend. That calls to question the horde of apologists and fans he has in Class B, and what he would classify them as, if they’re not his friends. He doesn’t talk to them, or really hang out with them. They hang around him, and this seems to have been consistent throughout his childhood. Even back when he first met Ruka, he had developed a following at that school too, including boys trying to emulate him and girls with crushes on him. Natsume has a magnetic presence, boosted by his powerful alice and general disregard for rules. But despite always being surrounded by people, he only has one friend, Ruka, who truly understands him and that he views as trustworthy.

Third, he’s rumored to be a murderer. Narratively, we already know Natsume is dangerous, on account of his alice and his troublemaking, but to be a murderer is on a whole other level. What this sort of rumor means for Natsume, knowing the true story behind why he had to come to the academy and what that rumor is based on, is the question worth asking here. How does it feel giving up everything just to have people fear you and spread horrible gossip about you? And all the while, you’re just a child? People either entirely adore or abhor Natsume with very little room in between, and he’s well aware of the effect he has. It’s probably the reason he only has one friend despite all the admirers: Ruka is the only one who knows what Natsume really did, who understands Natsume the way nobody else does, and who doesn’t admire him without reason.

This is their wanted poster.

My point bringing all this up is that in Chapter Four we’re given the information that Natsume is absurdly lonely. He’s misunderstood by admirers and enemies alike and yet has very little chance to sit with his own thoughts because he’s always surrounded by people, or being sent on missions. The only thing Natsume can count on, and the only thing at this whole school that Natsume cares about is Ruka.

And then Natsume finds out that Ruka is heading in the direction of the Northern Woods.

Conclusion

Natsume is introduced as a character, but using Mikan's perspective for this analysis would be tricky and counter-productive. It's easier instead to use all the knowledge we have of him from the whole story so the meta can be more thorough. The first few chapters and his backstory help establish Natsume as a traumatized, miserable, and cold child with only friend he can trust. We learn why he hates the teachers and the academy. Overall, he seems like a tough egg to crack. He is only going to get tougher in the next few chapters, and that's not at all romantic but we're getting there. This is all a set up!

Stay tuned for the next segment (which I'll post soon) about the next couple chapters. I wanted to go volume by volume but I'm running out of room for pics and the next chapter is kinda heavy in content so unfortunately I don't get my way. Thanks for reading!

Next ->

[olleoskifelle]

My thoughts of S2 episode by episode

Some background: I didn’t watch the trailer because I hate spoilers. I also hate watching all episodes at once, so I made a deal with myself to watch only one episode per day (I’m crazy). In the end S2 took me 5 days and I wrote these  thoughts down after each episode. I’m afraid they are quite messy, but they are my topmost thoughts rather than a deep analysis. Oh and I haven’t read anyone else’s opinions yet because I didn’t want them to affect my own. So if you all disagree then that’s on you. But let’s get on to it, because I can’t wait to finish writing this and join the party!!!

Episode 1:

6 minutes in and all our worst fears are coming true. Poor @levok 😂

8 minutes in and I'm out of breath this moves fast.

I can smell wilmon endgame.

Omar has almost better chemistry with who ever plays this Marcus dude than with Edvin. OKAY I HAVE LATER CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THIS ONE. (Don't come at me. Also I'm sure I'll learn his real name real soon. His insta following has probably shoot up by a million at this point.)

You do you Wille!

When are they going to tell Simon? And Sara... I'm on the fence of saying excuse me honey what are you doing but I also 100 % understand how things can escalate from just... that. Malte should win an award from this episode only. Overall I feel like that Sara/August scene was the strongest scene in this episode.

Episode 2:

Damn those Ericsson’s siblings are ready to get some. Simon has clearly been reading @levok ‘s blog and learned that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. But is it really? And Sara... I'm still on the fence about you honey. That was possibly the most genius way to ask some. Or very stupid. It's August after all. But I laughed. Might try your tactic 😂

Was season 1 this fast-paced? I'm once again out of breath. I kind of wish there where more scenes to just breath. Like Simon's singing.

The story is finally getting some shape. Looks like August wasn't the worst of them all. And Wille thinks Simon has moved on. Oh honey, he hasn't. But Wille you need to understand how you hurt Simon. I remember thinking at one point during this episode that season 1 Wille wasn't this stupid. No wonder Edvin said he had a hard time understanding his character this season.

Episode 3:

Okay Marcus I'm not sure if I like you. When someone says they're not ready for a relationship you respect them, not kiss them. Or at least that's what I tell myself... And don’t therapies Simon. This is probably just me, but I don't really see how Micke affected Simon's relationship with Wille. The crown affected it way more.

This isn't Wille/Felice friendship I have read fics about. Don't ruin your friendship guys (I don't think you will). Thank you Henry.

August being next in line... I didn’t even watch the trailer, but I feel like I knew all this. Our speculations were way too accurate 😂 Very interesting to see how August is gonna treat Sara from now on. And what happens when Wille realizes who's next in line...

This episode felt much more chill-paced. I liked this episode. But I'm afraid of the next one, it's the 4th after all...

Episode 4:

Thank you Simon for renaming my blog. I'm the nameless blog now 🐟

It's starting to feel like everything is back like it's supposed to be. Wille and Felice are good friends. Wille and Simon are still Wille and Simon. August is all alone. I'm a bit worried about Sara. Did she do the right thing or not? I don't know. Sara has really been the one this season I can't make my mind about.

It was about a damn time for a wilmon kiss! I have had enough of this love triangle drama. Even before this season dropped 😂 I'm sure that’s what you all are once again currently talking about. I can't wait to join the discussion so I'm gonna treat myself with another episode today (look, I have a flu and all. I need something to do all weekend!)

Episode 5:

Okay that was a cool way to end the episode (except those curtains are still sheer... 🆘).

I knew from the moment Wille started to brush his teeth what was going to happen. Lisa has been spying on us. Hello if you're reading this.

Yes Simon. Someone at that school has to do what's right. Maybe neither of the Ericsson’s siblings ends up as the part of the monarchy (if there still is a monarchy at the end of this). But if I can choose I rather take Simon. Maybe being true to his feelings means Wille gets Simon back and that will give him strength to do his speech.

A special mention goes to the scene where Simon tells Wille he's just like his mom. That was a real slap in the face. But an earned one. I enjoyed that scene a lot.

August. Wow dude you're really in love. Maybe Sara will visit you in prison. Good luck.

Episode 6:

Okay Sara you are officially the true mpv of this season! Also thanks to you I can smell season 3 in the air.

Marcus - I told you to listen when Simon said he's not ready! (This might be a bit sensitive topic for me 😂)

August, you need to learn money doesn't buy happiness. But I don’t think you will. In my experience more money equals more problems.

I wish Simon could have sung his song 😔

Was that jag älskar dig added afterwards 🙈 It sounded weird!

At least Wille and Simon had each other. That's what matters the most, right...? And Wille seemed to find his voice, making his own legacy.

Overall I don't know what to think. S2 is still too fresh in my mind. I think I liked season 1 more. But that's probably because there was a bigger element of surprise. I've been too deep in the fandom and my expectations were sky high. I'm not disappointed at all - I truly enjoyed this season. Maybe I just thought so many things weren't left in the air. Because I have waited so long to get some answers. But if that means there’s season 3 I’m all in. 

Like said, I had waited SO LONG to watch this and right now I just feel empty. Thank god I have you guys to talk and speculate with, all the fans edits to watch, fics to read, 6 episodes to rewatch a million times, reaction videos, promo interviews and Simon’s song. I’m good for another year 😉

[benka79]

Queer Subtext in "The Guest" (Korean Dorama)

Or... how I justed wanted to watch a Gen Supernatural show and ended up falling for it's Beautiful M/M love story.

I don't know if you watch korean doramas, I do. This time I was on Netflix with my husband looking for a supernatural show, after watching a couple of it, and we crashed into "The Guest".

This attempt of analysis of the queer Subtext will have some spoilers so, If you don't want to be spoiled, jus scroll down. But go watch this show. Hahahaha

Disclaimed that, let's go to the East Sea...

Pansexual Flag for CHOI YOON and gay flag for HWA PYOUNG.

First apparition of Father Choi YOON, walking down a dark alley. You will find by his right, against a closed business shutter, Pansexual Flag Colors. What a presentation card for a priest, and is so symbolically beautiful, because philosophically, the spiritual leader should have the ability to love every creature, no matter what. So it applies to the decision of the writers to make Yoon linked to that kind of love.

Then we have Pyung, the medium. This boy is very enthusiastic, but he has surrounding him his grandfather and his best friend asking him, almost continually, to find a girl and get married. The poor medium doesn't answer, and he looks annoyed each time they mention that.

In one opportunity his grandfather asks if there's something wrong with him, and the boy snorts slightly, avoids eye contact and says, frustrated "No, grandpa."

Jumping to another scene... Yoon and Hwa Pyung are in the car, and Pyung's best friend, the shaman, is alone in another car. While they're talking by the phone, we can see behind the shaman the pride flag colors. And now you will ask... Why? Well... There's this part of the dialogue between Pyung and the shaman, in which he asks why he has to be alone in the car and Yoon and Pyung are together in the other car... Ahem... Pyung hungs the phone without answering. And the scene cuts to the shaman, with the pride flag in the background. The shaman frowns confused.

Nothing to add here...

Heart broken

There's two opportunities in which Pyung shows how heartbroken he was... Because of Yoon and how the writers wrote it with romantic subtext.

The first time Pyung faced Park Han, the assamblywoman, Choi YOON got mad and tells the detective he won't work anymore with Hwa Pyung.

Scenes after this, we have a very sad Pyoung in the shaman house, and his friend notices his sadness and asks if he was dumped.

Pyung looks somewhere and he repeats: "Yeah, I was dumped..."

Who just had dumped our cute medium? Well... Our cute priest.

Another scene in which he is in a worst depressed shape, again, in his best friend's house, he mentioned, gloomy, that at least someone is bothering him... Why? What had just happened in this episode? Well, Choi YOON said to him he couldn't trust him.

The shaman, insightful as he was, says that he looks too sad those days. And when Choi YOON goes surprisingly to his house, the shaman asks the priest if Pyung's depression is because he is in love with the detective. Well, kind of. I can't be very specific with the dialogues because I watched it with spanish subtitles. But that was the idea they transmitted.

Always looking when the other is not looking. And the handsome priest...

And remember in the police station when Pyung called Yoon the handsome priest that gives advises to the congregation in front of the cop?

Gif credit @setsmaker

Another huge subtext is Yoon looking at Pyung when he's not looking and Pyung looking at Yoon when he's not looking. Always related to sad things of their last being revealed or called back. And why is this meaningful and it has to be taken as queer Subtext or romantic?

Kang Hil Young is their female detective friend. As a very insightful person, she notices the relationship between these two boys and in the scenes, she's always separated from them but also she's a kind of nexus. Because both boys talk with her, instead of talk with each other, as the stubborn and shy boys in love they're.

All the "stealing glances" scenes are centered between Pyung and Yoon. And less about Hil Young. This is written on propose to show Yoon and Pyung relationship is different to Pyung and Hil Young or Yoon and Hil Young relationships. Because the boys have this aura between them, this romantic tension always around them. That doesn't happen when they're with Him Young.

The precious one, the fight and the "Titanic like" scene.

Pyung will ask Hil Young to save Yoon instead of him. He is determined to give his life in exchange of the priest. He calls Yoon THE PRECIOUS LIFE THAT YOUR MOTHER SAVED, when he asks Hil Young to take care of Yoon. Why would a bro ask to his friend to take care of his bro? Why he didn't ask to this bro to take care of his friend instead? 🤔😜

Pyung always showing up at Yoon's place after a hard day? Why Yoon? Why not Hil Young's place too?

Also the scene of Pyung trying to hide a talisman but at the same time, sliding his hand with it inside of Yoon's pants and Yoon gay panic face yelling: 'What are you doing?' And Pyung insisting in puting that talisman inside Yoon's pants and then failing, frustrated because Yoon discovered it was a tasliman?

Gif set credit @achiara

Priceless... And gay.

The scene of the fight between Yoon and Pyung WAS HELLA DRAMATIC AND FULL OF ROMANTIC SUBTEXT!

First of all, we had that music playing while Yoon tried to force himself to believe Park Il do (the demon) was inside of Pyung, because if he wasn't... That's would mean the demon was possesing Father Yang, that was like a second father to our cute priest.

Second, both friends had UNSHED TEARS in their eyes.

Third: Pyung was too heartbroken to react.

Fourth, the Yoon ended up ON TOP OF HIM WITH HIS HAND ON HIS THROAT, that, my friends, was one of the most hot m/m scenes. They remained like that, not strangling, but just his hand holding his throat. Like... Yeah. Go get a room.

When they thought everything was finished. Pyung was staying in his town and called Hil Young asking her to bring his stuffs from his apartment. To which she replies 'why don't you ask Yoon?' And our shy medium replies "He's too busy."

So, Yoon and Pyung didn't call each other, but they both called Hil Young.

She asks Yoon to be nice with Pyung because PYUNG HAD ASKED HER TO TAKE CARE OF HIM INSTESD OF PYUNG. (Yeah, she confessed that to the priest)

And i suspect she told Yoon about Pyung asking her for his stuffs because the medium considered Yoon was TOO BUSY. Why? Because the scene in which Yoon shows up in Pyung's town to check the people that had been posseses, he calls Pyung.

Our cute medium goes immediately : BUY MEAT, I'M FEELING SICK, STAY TONIGHT TO SLEEP IN MY HOUSE, and what does reply the priest? I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. NOW I HAVE TO GO BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY. And he hangs the phone smirking!!!! Translation?

'I'm too busy because you said I'm too busy to bring your stuffs! I thought you didn't want to see me and now you are too happy to see me!!?? Watch me flirt with you and show you I'm not that easy.

And also, the poor girl is so tired to be the third wheel...

When they said goodbye in the road, Hil Young goes inside the car but Yoon and Pyung were there... Trying to sound cool, and 'You did well's 'Yeah, you top's, like two dorks, while the female friend watched them as if she was saying COME ON!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS? At the end Pyung confessed he was about to give his life in exchange of Yoon's life... And shy priest just goes inside the car.

But everything goes to hell when Park Il Do posseses Pyung and tries to strangle Yoon.

What did our cute medium yell to the demon? 'Don't touch him! Don't you dare to touch him!"

Gif credit @knights-in-whumperland

Okay... Those are not words you would say for a not boyfriend bro.

Then... Scene in the water...

They-fucking-held-hands!!!!

Gif set credit @r-a-n-x-i-e

The scene is so romantic I showed my friend (who didn't watch the show) a gif and she said WTF IS THAT? TITANIC?

Because, yeah, hella gay. They hel hands and then... Pyung reacts and before pushing Yoon's hand to release him to the surface, he rubbed his freaking fingers!!!!!

Not to mention he wss carrying with the rosary the priest left in his hand under the water for one entire year even when he wasn't catholic!!! HE DID IT BECAUSE YOON GAVE IT TO HIM!

To Conclude:

The subtext of a queer love story was magnificencia displayed, but it was more beautiful to see how inncoents, and shy and cute these two were with each other. So if you wanna see a cute m/m love story plus friendship loyalty and action, watch this dorama. I plenty recommend it!

PS: I'm calling this ship PYOON!

Buenos Aires, February 19 2020, 00:15 AM

[annaritastella]

Saezuru chapter 43: the sink.

While reading Saezuru for the nth, I might have realized something 🤔

We all know that:

in Ch 42, when Doumeki affirms to Kamiya "i wasn't a member to begin with" he reminded about the moment took placed in Ch 22 when Yashiro, while was on top of D's lap (❤️) was telling him exactly the same thing.

-----------------

In chapter 43, once Doumeki turns his eyes on the left he sees the sink and then he decides to don't leave anymore even if Yashiro finished to use the bathroom.

Reading the analysis of Ch 43 (and still thanks to @kiriharaakira for the translation🙏) they says "our Sensei never put something on hers drawers if it has not a meaning, nothing is casual" indeed they were trying to understand why Sensei wanted us to focus on the sink that Doumeki looked. And this is what I think:

While Yashiro was tell him how he "actually" changed and that Doumeki s dream "to become Yakuza" finally came true (we all know though the reason why...) we see Doumeki looking at the sink:

In chapter 22, when Yashiro affirmed "you don't have to became one of us (so a Yakuza) ..." Sensei did the same thing: she put many dialogue bubbles to let us focus on the sink. The question is: why the sink?

(This is my opinion! I don't say this for sure as only our Sensei knows the true that there is behind it)

Anyways, in my opinion, Doumeki, looking at the sink reminded not only when Yashiro was tell him the opposite thing, but when in Ch 6. Doumeki thinks "I don't want him to find out the I can get hard I don't want him throw me away just like a toy that is no longer needed"

And this is exactly what happened:

Yashiro found out, they had sex, Yashiro ran away, and after Hirata s episode, Yashiro ended up saying "I don't remember" (so he thrown Doumeki away)

Still in Ch 6, Doumeki thinks "I want to be by his side/ I'll do anything for that, I'll accept anything/ so I want him to keep me close to him forever "

Then, in Ch. 13, after Doumeki gives blowjob for the first time to Yashiro, he goes to the toilet washing his mount and not only, he felt kinda sad for doing that because he got high too and he doesn't want his Kashira to find out.

Coming back to Ch 6---"I'll do anything for that, I'll accept anything"

And he actually did anything to remain in Yakuza s world and we all can confirm what he went through.

---"so, I want him to keep me close to him forever"

Unfortunately this has not been possible due to Yashiro's decision but, the bright side is that, even if they have been far away for four years, Doumeki was in Yashiro's dream, in his thought, in his every day life so Doumeki actually stayed close to Yashiro in someways.

And the same was for Doumeki: he spent months trying to join Yakuza in order to remain on Yashiro s side, and once he did, he wanted to get information about his affairs (when Doumeki met chestnut guy)

And nowadays, what Doumeki does?

Catches Yashiro while he was falling down asking him twice if he was all right, stayed behind bathroom door "just in case", and still, he opened the door for Yashiro because he notice there is something wrong in him (he thinks is his right arm).

So Doumeki DID anything to stay by his side "I want to stay by your side, I'll do anything for it" even if he has to wear his gloves (that means to not expose his heart from anyone, by Sensei interview), doesn't mean that his feelings are faded away, actually he twisted his life to stay with him.

So, the answer for "why the sink?" might be because the sink has been the place where Doumeki could express his true feelings without showing it to other people around.

It's where he could take a break for a moment from hiding what he endured for trying to suppress his feelings for Yashiro and well, calm down his thing xD

It's like us girls , after crying we hide ourselves in the bathroom from others eyes, we wash our face, get a deep breath and leave acting to the people around us that nothing happended and everything is fine...not? I do that XD

Doumeki did the same thing.. He had been through a lot (as had Yashiro) and for the first time he took a "decision": trying to push Yashiro to confess what he really feels for Doumeki even though it might seems quite sassy but, the sink was the reason why he motivated himself to take a deep breath, have a composing expression and faced Yashiro as he never did before and ready to accept whatever Yashiro s answers is.

_________________________

I admit that all of this might be a very huge fantasy from my mind but I like to think that maybe It can be the reason to let us focus on the sink...but... Who knows? 🤷

Well , I repeat this is MY opinion, I spent hours writing all of this and tomorrow I'll have to get up early to go to work so what else?

Have a good night! ❤️

Feel free to express your ideas

---Anna Rita

~~~~~I want to update one last thing and then I can finally put an end to my thoughts about this before I lose my mind 🤣

-----------------------

In Ch 41. The first scene we see is the water coming out from the sink that Yashiro opened for putting the head of that guy and let him "confess"

Then we can see that in one scene (without the sink xD) there are Doumeki, Nanahara, Kamiya and the guy and the in next image there is Yashiro almost staring at the sink , contemplating (if he want to kiss Doumeki or not 🤔, it's a joke of course) , like he is in a different world from the others.

The sink will be the motive for Doumeki to "start a conversation" with Yashiro.

Yashiro states "don't just watch there Nanahara, help me out here"

So, reading what Yashiro just affirmed he Actually needs an help for doing the "dirty job" but the one who went to aid him was Doumeki but of course Yashiro replied "'preciate the effort but I got this" : Yashiro is acting again but he is able to do it only if he doesn't look at Doumeki straight on the eyes because he knows that Doumeki would never believe him also because, I repeat myself, he did asked for help!

I "translate" Yashiro s answer as "I do not need you, I can do it without you, I can live without you"

He refused Doumeki. He refused to look at him from the start. He refused to accept the idea that after 4 years trying to give Doumeki the chance to live an honest life, he is there, next to him ready to help his Kashira.

So I think I can end now this post saying that thanks to this sink, they had their second conversation after four years of silence (the first one is in Ch 40), thanks to the sink, Doumeki faced Yashiro once for all and well, I look forward to reading the next chapter to see his answer!

_______________________

As I said, these are just my thoughts right or wrong. I have been thinking until now about it and it really seems like a film made by my own imagination XD and I realize that 99% of what I said might be entirely wrong.

Thank you for reading this! I appreciate your opinion if you want to leave it in the comments or message me:)

----Anna Rita

[sometimesrosy]

I had what many may consider a stupid thought, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. Am I the only one kind of regretting the fact that we'll never have arrogant-but-softhearted Bellamy and headstrong-but-wounded Clarke from the dropship days in sarcastic, banter-filled love with heavy innuendo and physical attraction? They're in flat-out I'll-die-for-you-you're-my-life-partner kind of love now, which is beautiful...But I still think the show missed an opportunity to build up there 1/2

I mean, the romantic relationship potential could have gotten a few more scenes in Season 1. Just a little more flirting or something would’ve been nice. We probably won’t see them spar or argue ever again like they used to. Bellamy can forgive her in the span of a day for holding a gun on him. They’re in so deep, and it’s warm and real and so adult and thorough now, which is awesome. I’m all about it. Bring on the Bellarke! Yet I can’t help but feel a little sad/cheated that we missed the 2/2

3/3 lighter, teasing, flirtatious, sexier build-up? And I know there was the issue of Finn in S1 and the “story is long.” I’m well-informed that it’s a long and winding road with many arcs and at least 5 seasons. I get the concept of a slow burn. But it could have been cool to see a near-romantic miss in S1 - the 108 tree scene doesn’t count - they’d just killed someone. I’m not expecting a deep analysis or anything. Just fan-girling I suppose. But I can’t be the only one thinking this.

Well, I mean, that’s the thing about telling stories. You’ve got to make the choices. The things you choose to focus on are what gives you the story you are eventually going to tell, and if you focus on the wrong things, you weaken your story. You have to pick. If they did the light flirtation that you wanted in season 1, that would have made the story a different thing. It would have made their relationship a different thing. Having that possibility there from the beginning would have brought the physicality to bear much sooner. They would have been more sure about where they stood with each other. They would have pushed their relationship. It would have actually been MORE about romance and flirtation and knowing the possibility was there.

And the thing is, they didn’t want it to be. And they wanted their characters to separate and go on their personal journeys, whether that was about love and forgiveness or morality and authority. To have the beginning of a relationship with Bellamy and Clarke, even just flirting, would have made what happened in season 3 worse. Because it would have been something that was already on the edge of canon. It would have made the whole season more about dating, and less about the deeper connection that lay under their attraction. Putting aside the attraction completely, meant the focus was on the soul connection.

And when something is about physical attraction, there’s always the question… is it just lust? is it just about needing someone? is it just sex? is it just comfort? is there a power game? is it just what they’re supposed to be doing? is it a means to an end? is it real?  Which, to be honest, were questions with every relationship Bellamy and Clarke had since the beginning of the show. Think back. Every single one. From Satisfied Girl to Finn to Roma to Niylah to Raven to Lxa to Bree. All their sexual relationships have questions over them. Whether they were real love (which three of them were) or not.

Season 1 had them flirting with the possibility of making it a light and flirty thing, like you said. We saw Bellamy with the girls, one of whom looked very much like Clarke (not a coincidence, particularly since she came back twice, both times when he could have taken it physical with Clarke and he turned away from her.) It was an option. We saw Bellamy NOT pursue it, consciously, with Clarke. It says something. It says she was already more important than that to him. We saw Clarke reach out to Finn for comfort, and offer him the same. But it was a mess of conflicting intentions and needs and complicated connections. It lead to nothing good, except bringing them Raven. Would she have reached out to Bellamy if disaster hadn’t struck? Quite likely. And it would have been an entirely different story than the one they told.

I do think they played with a platonic love relationship in season 2, a kind of courtly knight/princess thing, what with the Gustus parallel and Bellamy being sent into the mountain on her order. But it turns out the princess was not feeling so platonic (my interpretation) and while from Bellamy’s side, it might have looked like that knightly ideal, and he even accepted that, I don’t think that was the way Clarke saw it, particularly with the comparison between Bellamy and Finn, and later, about not being ready to start something with anyone. The only two options, honestly, being Lxa or Bellamy. 

Season 3 had the love between Clarke and Bellamy grow while they were separated. The intensity of their feelings for each other deepened to the point that they independently sacrificed their lives for the other’s. The pain and hurt caused by Clarke’s abandonment and Bellamy’s rejection did not make their feelings go away though. The love between Bellamy and Clarke was tested and confirmed, before it ever became physical. It is real. It is true. It’s respectful. It’s mutual. It is serious. It is important. That period of testing was an important story to tell, I think. Many romantic relationships do NOT make it through that kind of test, or even smaller tests. Romance can be pretty flighty, to be honest. Not all romance can stand having a rival for affections, or being on opposite sides of a political divide, or distance, or hurting each other (which is part of the package when you become vulnerable to another person.)  Season 3 showed that the relationship between Clarke and Bellamy could not only withstand these challenges, but actually grow deeper despite/because of them.

So what was the purpose of season 4, which has offered the audience so much hope and frustration? Well. Season 4 to me has been about building tension, in both the Bellarke romance and the plight of humanity. They start full of possibility, but bit by bit, each option is knocked out until they are being forced into their only option. It has become downright claustrophobic, leading to the second culling and the locking of the doors of the bunker. But we still have Bellarke running around, working on their last chance. For survival. For admission of feelings. Because those feelings have also been pushed to the breaking point, and they too have been denied, again and again, pushed aside, given obstacles, from Clarke’s admission of love for L to Bellamy turning aside from Clarke’s cheek on his hand, to his steering away from love, to her staying on science island, from his refusing to agree to her bunker plan, to her holding a gun on him,  to Bree, to Niylah. These are the things they saw of the other. They each showed the other that they were not interested. And YET, the AUDIENCE saw Bellamy telling Jaha she centered him, saw her selling 50 of her people for his life, saw the way they looked at each other when the other couldn’t see, saw how much Bree looked like Clarke, saw how Clarke couldn’t leave Bellamy outside of the bunker. It wasn’t until Bellamy realized that Clarke just sacrificed humanity for his sake that I think one of them saw how much the other loved them. 

Season 4 was about upping the intensity of their feelings for each other, while putting obstacles in the way until it seems impossible and unreachable and now time is up and it still hasn’t happened. 

TENSION

They’re not giving us a sweet love story. They’re giving us a love story so vital and important and desperate that it feels inevitable– and impossible. 

They’re giving us a passionate love story that is about true souls meeting and being held apart. They’re keeping us on the edge of love admission and consummation. We think, they couldn’t possibly hold it off any longer, and they do. 

They’ve absolutely been working us from the very beginning. The intention for romantic bellarke was hinted at from the pilot. But they held it off from becoming admitted outright, took OUT a scene that would have been canon intention from Day Trip. ON PURPOSE. Because it would have taken them over the edge that they intended to ride. If the show had ended with season 3, they could very well have finished the series with Clarke and Bellamy finally admitting their feelings. But they got  two more seasons, so they pushed those romantic 3B-4A feelings, until the very edge of making them canon, on both Clarke’s side and Bellamy’s, and then pulled it back again. None of this would have been possible if they had given us more in season 1. Or it wouldn’t have felt as apocalyptic. And guess, what? They want this story to be apocalyptic.