#one day i’ll just have every single music video done then you’ll be sorry

[vincent-stims]

“What I gotta do to get it through to you, I’m superhuman?”

Eminem - Rap God

🎙️ 🔋 🎧 | 💸 📺 🔌 | 🧬 🎛️ ☄️

[sixeyesgojo]

jjk characters handling your period

Summary: “What do you mean, no baby this month either? Okay, suffer then.” - your damn uterus

Pairings: Gojo/Megumi/Nanami/Naoya/Toji x Reader

Content warning: the monthly bloody nightmare your uterus puts you through and the whole shebang that comes with it, language warning, suggestive themes, explicit warning for Toji (you’ll see why)

A/N: purely self-indulgent because I suffer. @megumifushi and @sukirichi , my gals, I gotcha. Also dedicated to all readers who suffer from the same fate (may it be right now or not). Also: Yes, absolutely open the video I linked in Megumi’s part (it’s safe, I promise).

Gojo Satoru

You turn and turn in bed uncomfortably. Something isn’t right, you think and it’s not the fact that Satoru is missing next to you. Not knowing immediately irritates you. All of a sudden you become painfully aware of your lower region. Yes, of course it had to be that time of the month. You just knew you already stained your panties and perhaps the sheets haven’t been spared either. Getting out of bed, then realizing it was already past noon, you sprinted to the bathroom. Fuck, moving fast was not a good idea. 

Having changed the sheets and your stained panties, you made your way to the kitchen. Your stomach growled, signaling you were hungry, but at the same time you feared. Smelling food, let alone tasting too much of it, was a slippery slope – either your nose would protest or your stomach, no in-between. Regardless, you had to eat; or were you supposed to starve to death because of this? Not in this lifetime. “I AM BACK!” an annoyingly loud voice rang through the apartment. You groan and turn around. “Fuck off, Satoru,” you say. Your irritation flaring up for seemingly no reason. “Stop being so motherfucking loud. My head feels like it’s going to split in two and my pussy is fighting the crimson war right now,” you snarled at him.

“Oh honey, seems like I called the right shots then,” he declared proudly and held up a bag filled with... snacks? “I already called in sick for you for the next few days,” Satoru continued to explain as he wrapped his arms around you, “and I’ll be by your side 24/7 for the next two days. We’ll do fun stuff. How does movie night with lots of cuddling for tonight sound?”

“Why are you so nice to me right now?” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes. “Simple: I don’t want to be castrated by you,” he whispered back and planted a kiss on your cheek. “Fair enough. What will we do tomorrow?” He stayed silent but pulled out a black card out of his sleeve. You gasped.

Fushiguro Megumi

Ping. A notification. Quickly, you scrambled to get your phone to see what that was about. You desperately needed some distraction right now. The pain was too much. Your boyfriend Megumi had gone somewhere you didn’t know. All you knew was that your boobs were sore, the sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric were already too much. In addition to that, you also experienced period cramps, resulting in back pain as well. Life was not easy at the moment but at least you could lay in bed for today, doing absolutely nothing.

Unlocking your phone, you saw a new message from Yuji: “omg look at this???” [Video link] It was a video of 42 seconds. There was a cute seal – probably the cutest and fluffiest seal you have ever seen – and background music. It may have only lasted 42 seconds but it definitely triggered some happy feelings inside you; it was so pure and you loved the energy of the clip. Perhaps these feelings were a bit too intense and overwhelming. Tears streamed down your face and you started sobbing uncontrollably. Why were you like this? It wasn’t even a sad video, was it?

You buried your face in the blankets, weeping as if someone just broke up with you. Through your loud crying, you did not notice the door opening. A jangling noise could be heard from your nightstand. Instantly, you shot up to check for intruders but luckily, it was Megumi. A frown spread on his face. “What happened?” he asked as his thumbs wiped your tears from your cheeks. You showed him the video, still sobbing, “Look at the seal... It’s so c-cute. I just... got emotional because it really t-traveled the world. This cutie deserves the whole world...”

“And so do you,” he bluntly stated, “now take the ibuprofen I brought you for the cramps and rest up.” As a matter of fact, he not only brought you painkillers but a hot water bottle and food as well.

Nanami Kento

“No, give me that. Lay down and rest. I can dust off the shelves on my own,” his deep voice commanded. If there was a man that screamed “male wife” it was definitely Nanami Kento, particularly when it came to you being on your period. You weren’t allowed to do anything in the house, except for very light chores. With good reason. “Kento, I can do–” Yeah, no, it wasn’t possible and Kento knew it too well.

You weren’t lucky when it came to period symptoms. Besides excruciating back pain, extremely sore breasts and headaches, you also had the luck to suffer from dizziness every single time you experienced the monthly nuisance. The first time you even passed out. In fact, it had happened several times. And that was precisely how Kento decided to not let you do anything. Still, you felt bad to leave everything to Kento. His work already demanded so much from him and here you were, being babied and even spoon-fed. You didn’t even have to cook your own meals or wash and iron laundry.

You had barely said those words when the unwelcome whirling sensation took you over again. Your feet wobbled, you were in danger of crashing to the ground. In a flash, Kento was by your side to steady you. “I told you not to overdo it.” He cupped your cheek with his warm hand. “Sorry, Kento. I’ll... just rest for a minute.”

Zenin Naoya

Period pain? Laughable. Naoya thought it was pathetic. A woman – these already weak creatures – having period symptoms was a mystery to him. What could possibly hurt about bleeding a little? He couldn’t understand. Your pitiable and sorry state was only another inconvenience to him. Not that you hindered him in any way – you were obedient enough to be quiet and complain as little as possible – but he absolutely despised seeing that annoying expression of pain on your face every time he had to look at it.

Hell, he didn’t even want to engage in sexual activities with you during that time, even though he had randomly picked up somewhere that it might help. Not that he wanted to help you, it was your problem and yours only, not his. “Stop looking at me with those eyes. It’s disgusting,” he remarked condescendingly as he got dressed for wherever he had to go. “When will you be back?” you croaked out but he totally ignored you.

“Women are so damn weak. It’s so fucking pathetic, I almost want to give you a hug,” Naoya gagged. He was about to leave the room but stopped in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of your face that was contorted with pain. In long strides, he made it to one of the cabinets, fished out a tiny box and threw it on the bed. “Tsk, you better get well soon so you can serve me again, dumb bitch.”

Fushiguro Toji (soft)

Work hadn’t been treating him kindly: not yesterday, not today, not ever. Although he was highly capable and never failed to exceed himself, all Toji truly wanted to do was to go home. When he finally made it through the door, he called out, “Am home.” Usually, you would come running to greet him but when nothing but silence greeted him, his hand instantly moved to the cursed creature lingering on his shoulder. It was suspicious. Did enemies manage to find this hideout? Where were you? His hands started sweating.

Stealthily, he approached the kitchen. To his surprise, he saw your form in front of the counter, hunched over in pain. Dropping his offensive stance immediately, he quickly strode over to check on you. “Hey, what are you doing there?” he asked, hesitatingly putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at him, grimacing with pain, “Oh, Toji. I didn’t realize you were home yet. Sorry, I’m not done cooking dinner yet, I just feel so nauseous, exhausted and my entire back  and shoulders hurt so much. It’s so sore.” “I see.” He nodded, understanding what was happening. Suddenly, he lifted you effortlessly. You squealed, “Toji!! What are you doing?!” “Taking care of you,” he promised. “But dinner!” “Don’t care.”

Making his way to the bedroom, Toji laid down with you on top of him. Something about his warmth already made you feel better but as his large palms rubbed your back in circular motions, you felt as if you were in heaven. Toji’s ministrations soothed the pain so well, you almost let out a moan. Now that the pain didn’t overshadow all the other symptoms anymore, the drowsiness took over. “Toji, ‘m tired,” you mumbled; eyelids fluttering already. “Then sleep. I’ll take care of dinner later,” he whispered. You only hummed in response, already far too gone. Slowly but surely, his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep. “Sleep tight.”

Taglist: @megumifushi​ @gojos-mochi​ @assbuttbaek​ @bleueluna​ 

[chiliiscereal]

Okay, apparently my brain has nothing better to do, so I got a SINGLE prompt for ya. U ready?

...✨Living with the turtles✨

Rottmnt headcanon: living with the turtles

———

-living with the turtles is both fun and... not XD

-lets be really, Mikeys an early bird!

-you simply can’t sleep in past 8 there’s just no way

-Mikey wakes up every morning like it’s Christmas

-“there’s stuff to do today! You can’t be a slug and stay in bed! Move move move!”

-lots of jumping on your bed until you wake up

-usually everyone eating breakfast together is not a thing, as everyone is usually doing their own thing

-but if you cook anything you better be ready for all the turtles to ask for some

-you’re also now the honorary judge for literally every single competition

-need someone to judge who can do the best kick flip?

-you’re their human

-need someone to see who can balance more fridge items on your chin?

-there you are

-lots of working with splinter in that field

-you’re also the one who anyone else goes to for validation

-for some reason you can’t understand, they can never compliment each other’s work

-“hey I need you to look this over, tell me if there’s anything wrong with it, possibly-.”

-“compliment you about your work?”

-“well, if you insist.”

-will drag you to his lab or drag his lab work to you so you can admire it

-doesn’t matter if you’re reading or sleeping

-when he’s ready for you to see it then you’re ready to see it

-“it’s literally 1 am.”

-“come on get up I need you to compliment my work!”

-“alright just stop pulling on me!”

-as for GIVING attention he’s not very good at it

-he’ll try, that’s for sure

-but heaven knows he won’t compliment you to your face

-the only physical affection you receive is if he goes to you first for help

-“I only need you because I need you to hold these wires and you have more fingers than you know what to do with.”

-it’s not just Donnie though.

-it’s Mikey as well

-“look at what I drew!”

-“wow this is awesome! How long did it take?”

-“oh... about an hour?”

-“that’s really good!”

-“really?”

-will even ask you to put it on the fridge

-you give in and get a bulletin board in your room for him to pin all his work

-it’s covered with his drawings by the end of the week

-needs lots and lots of hugs

-randomly jumps on your back for a piggy back ride

-you gotta be ready for him at any given moment or else you’re both gonna end up on the floor

-and who could forget Leo

-not you that’s for sure

-he’s make sure you’d never forget he needed attention

-Leo’s definetely the type of guy to get ready to pull a stunt and dedicate it to you before doing it

-“for Y/n’s honor!”

-“Leo you’re gonna break you’re neck if you do that!”

-“it’s for your honor so it’s okay!”

-jumps out from every corner to scare you

-can never seem to get you to flinch

-this boy’s gonna get you to jump one day though

-don’t be surprised if he walks up next to you and just casually rests his elbow on your head or drapes an arm over your shoulder

-will randomly poke your side just to see you jump

-Raphs no better than his brothers in the attention department

-especially with weight lifting

-“5...6...7 *notices you walk in* 37...38...39...”

-he doesn’t go around giving affection like Leo and Mikey though

-his love language is helping with anything you need, such as as helping you reach a high shelf

-very comfortable just picking you up and moving you out of the way

-doesn’t matter if it’s to get you out of danger or if you’re blocking his way to the pizza that just arrived

-only responsible roommate out of the four

-only one that washes the dishes

-video games all the time

-you can’t live with the turtles without liking video games

-you and Mikey bake and cook all the snacks for video game night

-of course, Leo also has a rivalry with you

-not one like the old rivalry between Leo and Raph in other versions no no

-it’s the playful “hey wanna take me in hockey? I bet I’ll wiiiiinnnn~” or “I’m gonna best you at this and you’re gonna go crying to splinter!”

-winner gets bragging rights

- you also can’t live in the lair without being besties with April

-come on, she’s cool as hell!

-she’s the one you talk to about human problems or just complaining about the turtles in general

-nosey boys

-very very nosey

-there’s no way to have secrets in this lair

-you have a diary?

-expect Leo to go through it in one night

-you read fanfiction or write fanfiction?

-oh Donnies keeping tabs on each chapter

-he’s updated all your tech, he can definetely see what you look up and access it from his computer

-hey, living with them isn’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows

-you’ll always find Mikey in your room admiring any decorations or books

-he’s constantly borrowing your stuff and not asking

-Raph is probably the only one that understands personal space

-...unless it comes to him worrying about you when you leave the lair

-will text you all the time, asking if you’re okay, even if you’re just hanging with a friend or going to the store

-since they always invade your privacy, they always know if you aren’t feeling okay

-the moment you step foot in the lair they’re asking what happened

-and if you try to say there’s nothing wrong oh ho ho ho you’re in for it

-Donnie is pulling up articles, Mikey is bugging you, Leo is trying to activate his face man powers, and Raph is sitting in front of you and asking what’s up

- the only privacy invading they do that you actually enjoy is when you’re in your room at like, midnight, watching a movie

-you’ll be watching peacefully and then Mikey just appears in the doorway

-he’s got blankets and he’s got snacks

-you just wave him over and let him sit on your bed

-then Leo shows up, no offering other than his presence

-don’t bother trying to push him away he’s gonna watch that movie with you and Mikey even if it kills him

-once you three are settled, Donnie shows up with a movie projector so you don’t have to watch on a tiny phone

-he ends up staying, even though he denied that he would

-Raph shows up with pillows for everyone, the only turtle to actually ASK to join

-you can’t say no to the giant teddy bear

-you may have started off by yourself in your dark room but you ended in a giant cuddle puddle with your roommates

-sometimes though you don’t have time to hang out with them

-school

-school happens

-you have to deny them because of homework

-Mikey will help you with flash cards, decorating them so they’re fun and make learning interesting

-Donnie studies with you and probably knows the material better

-he’ll help you so it’ll be over faster

-Raph is simply your company

-he’ll sit quietly in your room and play relaxing music, offering any advice or comments he had

-Leo just tries to convince you to ignore it

-it’ll still be there tomorrow! As of right now, he needs you to watch the skating tournament with him

-once you’ve got everything done you’re immediately dragged into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on

-you’re also the self appointed camera man, using your phone to capture every harebrained plan AND failure

-living with them isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but it sure is never boring

Sorry this is all I got!

If anyone has any headcanon or oneshot requests send em my way!

[thran-duils]

Learn Her Place

Title: Learn Her Place Summary:  Fem!Omega!Reader x Alpha!Tony Stark x Alpha!Steve Rogers x Alpha!Bucky Barnes. The reader works for S.H.I.E.L.D. and is on suppressants. In this universe, we obviously are working with multiple Alphas being able to share an Omega. The reader has had sex before but it has been with Betas. She is very distracting to the Alphas and they’re tired of not being able to focus on their work, so they decide to make sure her suppressants no longer work and she is where they think she belongs. Without the suppressants, the reader succumbs to her hormones very quickly. Words: 4,894 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Non-con, ABO dynamics, smut, breeding, brief mention of infidelity, multiple partners, angst. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! Author’s Note: Kudos to whoever picks up on the movie line reference

Masterpost

Steve hated it.

Watching her come back from one-night stands with Betas and not feel any remorse about it.

She was an Omega and was granted freedom by the suppressants given to her. She was wasting her fertile cycles away on frivolous orgasms with random strangers. She was able to infiltrate regular society, mainly hide herself away into the crowd. It was not foolproof though.

There was still something there during what her cycle should be. If one did not know she was Omega, they would not attribute the feeling of arousal to her. But he – along with every other high ranking agent – knew she was and it was that much easier to pinpoint it. He could pick up on it and it made him clench his fists every time she was in close proximity, her infiltrating all his senses. He saw the other Alphas in the room tense too at those times, having a difficult time focusing on the mission briefs with her sitting so close. And one of those times was right the hell now. Tony was staring at her abashedly across the table, his fingers at his lips, his jaw clenched. His stare could be excused, he was an intense person. Bucky, next to Steve, chewed on his cheeks while he tried avoiding looking over at her.

It was selfish.

And foolish because the suppressants only did so much, and they acted like it was a solve all. S.H.I.E.L.D was trying so hard to be inclusive and it was only serving to bring down focus and morale when all they wanted to do was mount one of their team members who was acting above her Omega rank.

She had raised her hand and was answering a question. She was smart, there was no doubt about that. She had worked really hard to get up to this level and she continued to go above and beyond.

But…

Steve’s eyes raked down her clavicle to where the top of her breasts were exposed above her shirt. She most certainly had a push up on. His thoughts trailed to what they looked like bare. How they would look at different angles… when she was riding him, below him, from the side… all the different positions he could get her in. His favorite: cradled in his arms, his hand on her round stomach…

He snapped to attention when Wanda literally snapped her fingers in front of his face. He had been spacing out.

“You alright?” she snorted.

“Yeah, fine,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. He gathered up his file and got up from the table without another word, walking towards the door.

He spotted her down the hall, speaking with Thor. Thor was enthralled, looking at whatever she was showing him in her file. He was a huge teddy bear, just like Bruce.

Steve caught sight of Tony and Bucky coming to stand next to him, their eyes fixated on her too down the hallway.

“Anyone else not catch a single thing that was said in that meeting?” Bucky half joked.

“She’s distracting,” Steve snapped in hushed tones. “How do they not notice the affect she has? Has no one said anything?”

“Oh, I’ve already brought it up,” Tony told Steve and Bucky, rolling his eyes. “They’re marking it up to me not being able to ‘control myself’ and shaming me for it.” He added scornfully, “Were you forced to watch that goddamn video—”

“Where they were described as ‘delicate flowers’? Yeah, I did. And was that supposed to make us feel any better about thinking about them being put in harm’s way?” Bucky muttered, shaking his head. “They shouldn’t be putting her out in the field. Here in the office is one thing. But they shouldn’t be putting any position outside. They’re too susceptible to persuasion.”

Tony said, “That’s why it’s supposed to be secret about their Omega status.”

“I don’t like them out there,” Bucky repeated. “Not just for them but for the rest of our safety too.”

Thor was so close to her, laughing at whatever she had said. He was not affected at all. Steve ground his teeth watching that in front of him. She was comfortable around him, her hand coming to rest on his arm. He felt jealously scratching away at his insides, knowing she was in a cycle.

“It’s gonna drive me insane if I don’t leave,” Tony grated, tearing his eyes away from her to focus on the other two. “You going to the party tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Bucky and Steve said in unison, still staring down the hall.

Tony snorted, “Who the hell planned it on a Thursday, anyhow? Don’t get too worked up if she takes a random person home. I for one won’t be there to witness that. That is unless…” He pulled a syringe out of his pocket, holding it up and Bucky swiped it in the blink of an eye, making it disappear again. Tony threw him a wry smile and said, “I think it’s about time. Don’t hesitate too long now since she’s just gone into the cycle. It’ll take a day or two though to work, remember! And don’t let Banner catch you with that.”

He clapped Bucky on the shoulder before turning on his heel, leaving the other two Alphas to stew.

<><><>

Bucky and Steve walked into the loud club, finding everyone in disarray already in the VIP area. They had been on last minute mission and had returned late and the party was already well underway. The upper space of the club was packed of S.H.I.E.L.D agents at all varying stages of intoxication. Some had set up tables to play poker – something normally illegal in clubs but no one was bothering them – as well as varying card games.

Of course both of their attention was drawn in towards Y/N. Clint was laughing at the fact she had walked back from up the stairs with a sandwich shoved halfway in her mouth. “Y/N! The food is on the way! You remember? That we ordered?”

“But I’m hungry now,” she whined, her mouth full. “And Wanda asked for half of it!”

“You’re such a baby,” Clint laughed barely keeping it together.

Wanda was in stitches, her head thrown back against her chair. Vision was laughing in tandem with Wanda, following her movement. She only laughed harder when Y/N held out the untouched part of the sandwich that was supposed to be for her.

“Thank you,” Wanda said, taking deep breaths as she tried to stifle her laughter.

Natasha appeared at Bucky and Steve’s sides, raising her eyebrows. “They are drunk,” Natasha hissed at them over the music.

And she smirked then, an unfamiliar kind of smirk. And Steve cocked his head.

“Are you drunk?”

She shrugged sheepishly which was all the answer they needed.

You grasped onto Steve’s arm, startling him. “Have you guys done shots yet?”

Steve’s eyes flicked down to her hand only for a moment and he could feel every press of her hand into his bicep. He looked back up at her and told her, “I can’t get drunk, Y/N.”

“Oh, right,” she said looking immediately pitying of him. She rubbed his arm excessively in her drunk state and he stiffened, his jaw clicking. “I’m sorry. I forgot!” She laughed, noticing how stiff he was and poked him in the chest. “You need to loosen up, Steve.”

“I’ll try,” he said forcing a smile.

“You too, Bucky,” she commented eyeing his stoic expression. She touched the side of his face and he inhaled sharply. She giggled at the response and said, “Maybe you’ll feel better after a drink? You can get drunk right?”

Before he could respond, her attention was drawn elsewhere by Wanda. As soon as she was gone, Steve let out a frustrated sigh and Bucky mirrored his state.

“She’s not taking care of herself,” Bucky murmured, shaking his head. “Anyone could take her home. Anyone!”

“Yeah, well, we’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” Steve returned firmly. Bucky frowned and Steve rolled his eyes, “You can have some drinks. I’ll just be the sober eyes.”

“Thanks for that leeway, but this has gone on long enough hasn’t it?” Bucky asked.

“It has,” Steve exhaled heavily. Y/N was holding Clint’s hand as they danced their way down the staircase from the VIP section, away from where him and Bucky were standing.

Steve was close to her all night, especially on the dance floor. At one point, he grabbed a female Alpha who had started grinding on Y/N and yanked her away. The other Alpha had started to get buck until she realized who exactly she was trying to fight. He was not a hard man to mistake, not with all the press conferences and his mere presence on top of that. She gritted her teeth before leaving seeing his icy stare, taking the hint. Y/N was oblivious, dancing to the techno music, hands in the air still with Clint and Wanda.

Y/N fanned herself and her hands came to the hem of her shirt. Steve’s eyes almost bugged out of his head as she began to tear it off. Steve was at her side immediately, grabbing the shirt before she could remove it completely, yanking it back down.

She focused in on him, confused, and he demanded inches from her face, “What are you doing?”

“It’s hot,” she yelled at him over the music, as if that was a reasonable explanation for her behavior. He imagined all the eyes on her now, his blood pumping in his ears.

Steve shook his head and grasped her arm, pulling her through the crowd.

“Steve!” he heard Clint call from behind him, but it went ignored.

Bucky knew when Steve walked by with Y/N it was time. He got up, following Steve’s movement away from the VIP section towards a more isolated part of the club. Y/N was asking Steve where he was taking her before Bucky snuck up and administered the shot before Y/N could even react to his presence.

She began to ask, “What the hell…” but her eyes were already drooping.

Steve caught her before her knees gave out from beneath her. She was conscious but she was far past coherent. She groaned in his arms and he picked her up, hushing her.

“Wish I could have gotten even two drinks in before that,” Bucky said, eyes searching the club. He looked towards the hall and said, “Should try to take her out a back way or…?”

“She was reckless,” Steve grumbled in his ear as she slumped into his side. “Let’s take her home. She shouldn’t remember any of this. But no, let’s take her back by so everyone can see how ‘drunk’ she is.”

“Right, good idea,” Bucky agreed.

<><><>

Tony walked in, seeing Y/N at the break room table already, at 7:00am. But, her head was resting on her forearms, a large cup of coffee next to her. He looked over his shoulder, seeing people were walking by in the hallway. Slowly, he closed the door, the handle clicking into place when it was fully closed. She did not stir, and he cocked his head. She must really be out.

He tapped her shoulder and she grumbled, sitting back uncomfortably. She was squinting at him and recognized him, before rubbing at her eyes.

“You alright?” he asked, feigning concern.

“Yeah, just… not feeling great,” she told him.

Hungover. Every clue of it clear as day to everyone else. But Tony was not everyone else. He knew this was not a withdrawal from alcohol but another drug entirely. Her body was correcting itself from that nasty medication, right at the height of her heat.

“You should be drinking water instead of coffee,” Tony told her, his Alpha peaking in his tone.

It was an easy way to worm himself in. He was not supposed to do this – but they had also not been supposed to administer that drug without her consent –, it was against protocol. But he just had to know. He had to see if she would respond.

Simultaneously to his surprise and not, she made eye contact with him. He saw… doe eyes. She quickly averted her gaze and looked at her cup.

“You’re right,” she told him.

Tony watched her with arousal as she got up and tossed the coffee in the sink. She went towards the fridge, but Tony was already there, opening it up to grab a water bottle for her.

“Let me,” he told her, and she stopped, looking at him patiently as he held it out to her.

She took it from him, taking a drink. “Thanks. I… I really don’t feel great.”

Tony pointed at her and said, “You probably need oxygen. And a lot of water.”

“Oxygen?”

“Clears a hangover pretty quickly.”

“Oh, I’m not—” she began to stammer, and he could not help his lip twitching in amusement at her looking embarrassed.

Tony chuckled, “It’s alright. The party was last night. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Y/N looked unsure if she should relax or not for a few moments before she relented, nodding. “Yeah, what idiot decided tequila shots was the way to start off the night?”

“Probably the same idiot who planned it to be on a Thursday.”

“Thirsty Thursday,” she mumbled, taking another drink.

“Thirsty Thursday,” Tony agreed lightly. “Eat something too. Something healthy. Fruit, maybe.” She grumbled in response but nodded as she sat back down at the table. She swiped an apple from the center of the table and took a large bite. Tony watched her for a few more seconds, anticipation nipping at his heels before he parted with, “Feel better.”

He needed to tell Bucky and Steve she should be ready by tonight if she was already reacting to him like that.

<><><>

Y/N was the last one in her office, the other two had gone home already. She looked up at Tony walking into the office, carrying a bag. Her stomach growled at the smell coming from the bag, her eyes falling to it. Tony only stalled for a moment, the smell of her coming to him. She was tumbling fast, she looked flushed.

Tony approached her desk, a friendly glint in his eye. “Ah, you are still here. Here, we ordered some food. I always go for greasy at some point after drinking and I’m sure it’ll help.” She looked past him to where Bucky and Steve were in the hallway.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Y/N told him timidly.

Tony loved the sight: she was tying to avoid direct eye contact, speaking in soft tones.

“Just thought we’d be nice.”

“Thank you.” She would not grab it from him. “Today has been… I don’t know. I can’t focus. I need to finish this before I leave. I just… I don’t feel great,” she said her voice getting smaller as her eyes were dragged back to her computer screen.

Tony ordered, “Press save and close the laptop. Eat.” He placed the bag on her desk. “It’ll help.”

He turned to leave, and she blurted, “Where are you going?”

Tony came to a stop, his gaze locked with Steve and Bucky, his back to her. To them, he gave them a sly, knowing smile that only lasted a few seconds before he turned back to her.

“I mean, you don’t have to leave and go eat somewhere else if you already have your food too. You don’t want it to get cold. I promise I’m not throwing up or anything. I just feel off. Like a headache… a little hot.”

She wanted them to stay, that was obvious. She needed something from them and even if she could not figure out what it was just yet, her body was telling her they were needed.

“Sure,” Tony chirped. “If it won’t bother you.”

She shook her head and he started walking back towards the desk beside hers. His suit jacket came off, and he swung it around the back of the chair. Steve and Bucky had come into the room as well, purposely leaving the door open. Bucky sat across from Y/N, his eyes following her movements as she opened the bag Tony had placed in front of her. He watched the way her hands shook ever so slightly, her tongue running across her bottom lip as she opened the container of food.

Y/N made a satisfied sound as she tasted it. “God, thank you. This is delicious. I needed it. I feel… shaky.”

The three of them around her was making it difficult for her to focus though. She kept stealing glances at them, being met with blatant stares back as they slowly ate. Steve adjusted, trying to hide his length that was starting to grow at her being so damn close and smelling so damn good.

Tony spilled some on the desk and said, “Shit!”

Before she could offer he was leaning over her, reaching across the grab a kleenex from the other side of her desk. He heard her inhale and he forced himself to not react, sitting back down, dabbing at the food he had spilled. His jaw was clenched; he should not have done that because now he was working himself up quickly.

The three of them noticed her chewing slowed to a stop and her eyes moved between the three of them. Something was starting to click… the tense silence in the room getting under her skin. The off feeling no doubt growing ever stronger.

Swallowing, she cleared her throat. Her voice was higher pitched than normal, “Do you guys want a cookie? To go with it for after, I mean? I… there’s some over here.”

She pushed her chair back quickly and moved away from her desk. Along the wall, she fumbled with the drawers, looking for these mysterious cookies. She was getting squirrelly, nervous, like she wanted some air. They could all sense it and they wanted to get ahead of her stressing out while they could. All three were out of their seats: Bucky strode across the room away from her, closing the door while Tony and Steve came closer towards her.

Y/N turned around startled at them all having moved so quickly, holding a handful of fortune cookies. Bucky leaned against the doorframe, staring directly back at her. She gave a small laugh, “Are people still working out there? Were we being too loud, do you think?”

Tony and Steve said nothing and her smile faltered, a frown growing. “Can…Can I just… get by,” she said trying to skirt around them but each time, one of them blocked her way. She tried to brush it off, holding the cookie out. “Do you just want it now?”

She asked, so innocently. Sweetly. Steve shuddered at it. She could not hide her true nature even in her tone. And the phrasing, the three of them smirked.

Bucky was still by the door, leaning against the frame. He popped a chocolate in his mouth, watching the scene unfold.

“Well, I would really like to get eat—” She said, trying again to break through their rank and being unsuccessful. She frowned visibly now, worry lines showing up on her face. She chuckled nervously, “Did I do something wrong?”

Steve noticed the spiral coming. He could hear the increase in her heartrate. She knew she was surrounded by Alphas and was growing uncomfortable. Especially since she was alone, it was late, and they were encroaching. His hand came up to slap over her mouth and she yelled frightened, the sound muffled. He pulled her away from the counter, dragging her back towards the third desk. Tony was ready, grabbing her arms and twisting them behind her back, slipping the retractable cuffs around her wrists. The cookies tumbled to the floor and he paid them no mind, stepping on them as he passed her to Steve solely. Her arms were bound at the small of her back and she fell face first against the table. All three of them were growing hard at the sight.

As soon as Steve removed his hand she began to scream, and he clamped back down.

“Omega,” Steve purred in her ear and she whimpered behind his hand. He laced his tone, his Alpha rumbling, “You’re going to be quiet aren’t you?” She said nothing, her chest just rapidly moving up and down. “Omega… are you gonna be quiet? Nod for me if you are gonna be good.” She nodded frantically against his hand and he slowly removed it.

Tearfully, she said, “Can you let me go?”

“Oh, no. No, we can’t, beautiful,” Steve said, his finger running down her exposed neck, causing her to squirm. He pulled away, turning his attention to Tony.

“But… I… I didn’t do anything wrong,” she tried to plead, looking at Bucky across the desk to where he was standing at the door. “I followed all the rules. I—” Tony’s hands lifted up underneath her dress and she let out a choked noise, craning her neck to look back at him. “Alpha, please!”

Tony audibly groaned at her slipping up and giving in to calling him by his title. He yanked her leggings and underwear down to her ankles. He freed himself from his slacks and his fingers pressed at her pussy. She buried her face in the desk, trying to squeeze her legs together.

“Oh, come now. None of that,” Tony ordered, and she loosened. His fingers pressed in, stroking her slowly. She was already wet, probably had been for the better part of the day. It is why the three of them had stayed away, they could have lost control before now and ruined it all otherwise.

“You’re not being punished, Omega,” he told her. “Rewarded actually…” She whimpered and he cooed as he continued stroking her gently, “Oh, sweetpea… beautiful Omega. You’re going to be just fine. You’re in the perfect hands. You feel sick for a reason and we are going to help you.”

The more he spoke, the more he watched her body relax against his hand and his tone. The smell of her was driving him insane – he could only imagine Steve and Bucky not being able to touch her at all. He should not stall for long, wouldn’t want to start a fight.

“You’re going to feel so much better,” Tony promised as she tried to push back on his fingers, and he bit his lip at the sight. His fingers were gone, and she let out a disappointed noise. Tony rubbed his cock up and down her ass, slowly. “God, this is gonna feel so fucking good.”

Tony’s head pressed in and she gasped, adjusting to his width. He gave a strangled laugh, relishing in how tight her walls were. She was squirming beneath him and he gave her a rapt smack on the ass.

“I know you haven’t had an Alpha cock before but relax, Omega,” Tony ordered gruffly.

“It’s too much,” she said pitifully.

“You’ll adjust. You’ll adjust,” Tony moaned, pressing in further. “You’ll be able to take all of me. All of us. It’s what you were built for.”

Bucky was becoming shifty, chewing on his thumb nail, his eyes boring into Y/N. He had stepped away from the door, coming closer to where she was. His dick was outlined in his jeans but he had refrained from releasing himself just yet. Steve on the other hand had taken his cock out and was stroking himself, needing some type of contact. Both of their eyes were blown wide.

“Oh. Tony,” Bucky said, aroused. “You would love this sight.”

Y/N’s eyes were glazed over as Tony thrusts grew deeper and quicker. Looking the perfect example of a subservient Omega, impaled on an Alpha’s cock.

“I love the feeling,” Tony choked back, holding tight to her wrists to drive himself deeper.

Soon, they came tumbling down. Tony came with loud grunts, emptying inside of her and he left a claim mark on her shoulder. Tony only took a moment to kiss at her neck, whispering something sweet into her ear before he backed off. His pants were buttoned back up and he collapsed in one of the chairs, his eyes falling on her.

Steve wasted no time coming behind her and entering her with ease. She whimpered at the intrusion, still so sensitive. His thrusts were unbridled, worked up into a frenzy. Y/N’s hips bounced off the desk.

“Alpha,” she whined.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Steve panted, his fingers digging into the skin at her hips. “You feel so goddamn good, Omega. You’re doing so well. So, so well. Everything I dreamed.”

The room was filled with skin slapping skin and the aroused moans leaving Y/N.

“Alpha,” she whined again, and Steve groaned, knowing she was getting close. He could feel her clenching around him.

And when she did, shaking and whimpering, Steve thrusted quickly as she tightened. He finished with a shout unable to help himself, coating her walls. He left another distinct claim bite at the base of her neck. His fingers traced it gently before he noticed Bucky standing there.

“You know, for an Alpha. Buck, you sure as hell are patient,” Steve joked.

Bucky gave a curt smirk before shoving Steve out of the way. Steve held his hands up in surrender, turning away and letting Bucky have his way with her. Y/N was doing so well still, behaving and letting Bucky rut her into the desk without pushback. Bucky had been right, Tony thought to himself. He loved that look in her eyes. She was lost to her arousal.

“P-p-please, alpha,” she begged moments before she cried out again.

Bucky grunted loudly, his thrusts becoming more erratic, chasing his high. He shook as he emptied himself and went to the opposite shoulder to leave another claim mark. She was exhausted, breathing heavily having not one but three Alphas imprinting themselves on her and using her.

The door opened and all three of them froze, Bucky still buried in Y/N, his large hands at her hips.

Clint was standing there, his mouth fallen open in disbelief at the scene. There were a few seconds of suspended shock before he asked them disgusted, “You couldn’t even lock it?”

“Didn’t think about it,” Tony admitted.

“You? You didn’t think? That’s rich,” Clint spat back at him. He noticed Y/N was handcuffed and realization dawned on him. He glared daggers at the three of them and snapped, “You’re going to get sidelined for this!”

“No, I don’t think so. More like chewed out… I’ve been chewed out before,” Steve said. Impatiently he added, “Now, will you close the damn door?”

His request went ignored by Clint, who pressed on furiously, “No, seriously. You guys know that right? Compromising an agent like this! Especially one they’re trying to keep up because they’re in such big demand to even out the ranks! She’s only going to respond to your Alpha commands now! That compromises her!”

“And why is anyone complaining about that? She should be answering to her superiors,” Tony remarked, watching her intently. She was so lost, trying to figure out what was going on. She had no purpose without feeling a cock being driven into her when she was this worked up into her heat. Tony almost felt bad for her…

“Barton, are you going to let Barnes pull out so we can untie her or what? She’s got to be getting sore by now. Wouldn’t want to hurt our ‘delicate flower’.” Clint stood his ground and Tony lost his humor, snapping, “Get the fuck out, Barton. It’s already been done. Now. Before I lose my goddamn temper.”

Clint’s jaw was clenched as he turned away from the three Alphas, slamming the door behind him so loudly it shook the wall.

“Speaking of that,” Bucky said, clearing his throat. He leaned in, catching her attention. “Darling… do you want Alpha to finish inside you?” She nodded fervently and Bucky grunted in response, rutting against her backside even as he pulled away from her. He pulled her up and she stood on shaky legs. In her ear, he asked, “Do you want to always be finished inside of?” She nodded again, biting her bottom lip. “Hmm… you want to please us? That’s what I thought. So. How about after you take in that feeling of that warm seed inside you, you go up to the director and tell her you want to resign? Tell her you wanna be a good little housewife for us? How does that sound?”

“Okay,” she agreed.

Steve’s fingers pressed her cheeks in, pressing her lips out and he smiled. “You wanna be an asset to the team in your best way. Such a team player.” He shot Tony a look at the end of the desk, an aroused gleam in his eye. “I’m sure we can get you a proper collar.”

“I’ve already got it built. I’ve been waiting for her to learn her place.” Tony then added, “But she can’t live with me. Pepper will kill me.”

“I’ve got it,” Steve said.

Steve rubbed her stomach and said, “Regardless, she’s gonna be serving her real purpose soon.”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 

[obeiii-mee]

Hi! Im new to your page and i love your writing 💕 i have a request for demon brothers headcanons on how they treat MC after realizing they get anxiety from things like yelling/loud abrupt noises/ things like that? For example, they flinch, get quiet, or start fidgeting? Thank you!!!

Aww, thank you so much. That means a lot to me and I’m really glad you like my writing considering I have such a chaotic style lmao. Also, welcome to this mess of a blog. We give off ‘cult’ vibes but at least we have hot, fictional demons to make up for that.This was super sweet because I know for a fact every single one of them would be very understanding of MC’s anxiety of anything.

Enjoy!

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The Brothers with an MC that gets anxiety from loud/abrupt noises:

Lucifer:

-He may not get anxiety from it, but Lucifer definitely prefers a quiet atmosphere/environment where he can focus on his work

-Which makes living with his brothers a living nightmare because they don’t have the capability to shut the fuck up

-That being said, he catches on rather quickly that you do not feel comfortable around loud noises in general

-There’s a limit to what he can do but every time you feel like you need a bit of peace and quiet, know that you are more than welcomed into his office at any time of the day. Even if he isn’t there

-He definitely prioritises your mental as well as your physical well being seeing as living with demons can have a massive effect on your sanity

-He’s not judgemental about it either because, while he doesn’t understand why loud noises may cause you to be so anxious, he understands that humans are built differently to demons

-Lucifer has no chill at times and will tell all of his brothers off every time they make a big scene, whether in public or private

-He can be a tad overprotective at times but he means really well, especially if he sees you’ve gotten oddly silent for the past few minutes or has caught wind of you fidgeting during dinner

-I don’t know how much I stressed so far about the observation skills this man has but I will keep doing, he can spot you flinching at loud noises from a mile away

Mammon:

-I believe that he can read people really well and can recognise when a person is feeling a certain way

-But he’s still a complete dumbass so he might still miss a few clues hidden in your mannerisms

-Like, he realises you’re uncomfortable but he doesn’t understand the degree of it or why it exists

-You’ll have to be blunt about it and tell him about your deal with loud noises because otherwise he will be stressing about it for weeks on end

-Dating him as a result of your anxiety over loud noises can prove to be...difficult

-He’s a very boisterous and obnoxious being, everytime a particular emotion of his flares up, he gets significantly noisier

-Whenever he enters the room you happen to be in, you’re forced to cover your ears and flinch because he has a way of announcing his presence

-But he tries so incredibly hard to act calmer around you and he so hates it when he fails to do so because he knows how uncomfortable you get as a result of him screaming like an idiot

-His brothers usually blame him when you start fidgeting because they assume he’s the cause of your rising anxiety and he started to believe it as well

-He sees that look on your face and he is just gutted

-He is ready to get on his knees and start apologising profusely until you forgive him for being such a noisy bastard

-The times other things/people are the cause of you going weirdly quiet, he will use his threatening tactics

-“Listen ‘ere, you’re makin’ my human uncomfortable so if you don’t shut the fuck up, I won’t let you see the light of day again. Do ya hear me?!?!”

-He says to the godfather clock when the sound of it striking midnight startled you

Levi:

-He 100% understands

-He hates loud noises as well and they usually make him scamper back to his room lol a rat in hiding

-Levi is slightly more immune to them however seeing as his brothers do have a habit of raising their voices all the time

-But do not worry, human, for he will protect his Henry from the annoying sounds people in general make at the cost of his life

-Take shelter in his room, please

-He loves having you in there and usually you only have the noise of video games in the background

-If you’re there and an anime he’s watching is getting too loud, he will turn it down for you ahead of time

-Sometimes, he can be as noisy as his brothers, especially when he rages at one of his games

-Bu he’s so quick to shut up once he realises you’re there

-And then, like Mammon, would start apologising for being not only an ugly otaku but an obnoxious one at that

-So y’all end up comforting and cuddling each other because.....uh....mutual hatred for loud things?

-Also, he would decapitate his brothers for you if they crossed a line (like he’s not really a Yandere but he’s a demon with demonic instincts to protect I guess)

Satan:

-Much like his father eldest brother, Satan also prefers silence in general

-After all, it’s a lot easier to read when his brothers aren’t there to muck about the place and make too much noise

-Humans are very different to demons, especially psychologically speaking and he understand that

-That’s why he doesn’t question it when you follow him into the library to seek refugee from his siblings

-If anything, he’s rather happy he gets to spend some time with you so the two of you sit in silence, each of you doing your own separate thing

-He knows if something is bothering you again, he can probably notice you suddenly start fidgeting in public

-He’s very cautious with you when you are in this state as he deems you are at your most vulnerable

-One time, a teacher at RAD raised his voice too high while scolding you for not paying attention and that earned an involuntary flinch from you

-That guy was officially on Satan’s shit list from then on, just so ya know

-Overall, he’s very sweet and patient with you and absolutely does not mind spending an entire day with you indoors away from loud noises

Asmo:

-He has no problem with loud noises whatsoever

-If anything, he loves being in crowded public places like The Fall, since partying and socialising is one of his many talents

-Not to mention, he’s so used to own family being so loud it just doesn’t affect him that much

-However, when you first arrived and he noticed just how badly you reacted to loud noises, he started avoiding things like clubbing as if it were the plague every time he hanged out with you

-Asmo needs social contact but he is more than willing to spend time indoors with you if it makes you feel better

-Or going out shopping in a relatively quiet shopping centre

-I mean, getting his nails done with you by his side sounds absolutely amazing to him

-So as much as he loves making noises and spending time in rowdy places, he’s always going to make an exception with you

-Always

Beel:

-Beel is unbothered by noise

-Sure, he does like it better when his brothers aren’t fighting and things are peaceful around the house

-But, he’s not fazed by yelling, loud music, heavy things falling and thudding against the ground etc.

-He picks up on your anxiety riddled gestures the first time Lucifer has a go at his brothers in front of you

-Because you started fidgeting like crazy and in that moment he was the only one that saw it

-So Beel grabbed your hand and led you outside of the room and Lucifer was so caught up in the moment he didn’t even realise it

-Probably, maybe he just let it go

-Basically, Beel decides that he shall protect you, the tiny human in comparison with him, from any loud noises that might startle you

-He will do it, do not test him

-One time, Mammon was screaming because he was chased by the witches and it made you flinch enough for Beel to see

-A couple hours later, Mammon disappears completely and shows up at your door, looking absolutely traumatised but genuinely apologetic and says sorry

-Sometimes people forget Beel is a demon

Belphie:

-I’m gonna make a wild assumption and presume that if you are vulnerable to loud noises, you are very likely a light sleeper

-If that is the case, (apologies if you’re not) then Belphie would be very quick to notice because a lot of shit goes down at night time and most of the time, it’s loud

-Belphie doesn’t have a problem with it, he can sleep through anything, even his brothers and especially Lucifer

-But he definitely notices if you aren’t cuddled up to him any more, even if he was asleep, because you sat up in bed suddenly at a random noise at 3am

-Note: That was Asmo sneaking back into the house trying to be as quite as possible but tripping and breaking a window

-“You’ll have to get used to that. My brothers are idiots, they don’t know when to be silent.”

-He prefers quiet places like the attic so he can actually sleep, but again, could do so either way so it doesn’t matter to him

-But he is going to be...let’s say ...upset.... if you were to wake up from a nap session because of someone something

-“Make one more sound and I’ll rip your tongue out.”

-Even when you aren’t napping, he gets very angry when people get unnecessarily loud, especially with you reaction

-But that just gives him an opportunity to bring you to the attic or something so the two of you can actually chill by yourselves for a chance

-Beel is invited obviously, but Belphie is just as happy to be left by himself with you

-Ironic how much his feelings for you have changed, huh?

————————————

So I really finished this by the end of the week. Hope this is actually some good because I spent all of my brain cells on an another giant request I’m working and the rest were used to write this. Thank you for sending me requests though guys! Now every time I get bored I can just answer your asks. Have a nice Monday!

Al~

[minniboe]

Hey can you do an imagine or hc for the brothers giving the MC a Massage (potentially NSFW?)

 boh this will be fun thank you for the ask!

The brothers giving MC a massage! (Slight NSFW)

Lucifer

You two made a deal, if your test scores were high enough you could ask him any reasonable favor and he would oblige. So when you hand him your report card and he sees you passed everything with flying colors he looks at you and waits for your request. When you tell him you want him to massage you he gets this amused look on his face.

“A massage? Well, I don’t see a problem with that. Why don’t you strip and lay down then we can begin!” You realized that it was an order and not a request so you quickly obeyed him and played down on the sofa in his study.

His touch was strong yet not painful, he applied just the right amount of force for you to feel good. Maybe a bit too good as you felt so relaxed that you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a quiet moan as he pressed one of your pressure points. A dangerous smile appeared on Lucifer’s face as he heard that sound.

“Did that feel good MC? Do you mind if I do it again?” He said as he pressed it again making your whole body shiver in pleasure and forcing you to moan again.

He continued with his massage but now he was searing for more pressure points, taking great pride in the fact he could get such a reaction out of you. His hands felt like heaven and they managed to take all your build up stress and tension away. When he’s finished he positions himself before you and kneels down to look you in the eyes.

“Tell me MC now that we’re done with that how about I use your pressure points to make you feel absolute bliss”

Mammon

You two are watching a movie and you're leaning against Mammon, as you two are talking you let it slip that your shoulders have been killing you lately, he looks at you and a smirk appears on his face.

"Well aren't ya lucky that the great Mammon is here, I'll help ya out! For the small price of 500 Grimm." You roll your eyes at him and decline his offer, Mammon scoffed like he usually does.

"What! Don't ya think I can do it? Here let me show ya just what these hands can do!" He said as he grabs your shoulders and starts to give you a massage. His touch is surprisingly gentle and you melt into it as your pain and stress start to fade. After a while he instructs you to take off your shirt, he sais it's not because he wants to see your body but because the clothes are in the way, you know better than to believe his words but play along anyway.

So you take off your shirt and to his surprise also your pants. He's shocked for a moment and doesn't know what to say, but as you lay on the couch with just your underwear on he allows himself to explore all your exposed skin. Starting with you back, then your arms as he moves over to your legs he lets his hands slide over your ass. He pays extra close attention to your ass, he gives it a firm squeeze every time his hands move over your ass. Soon enough your underwear comes off and he rubbed oil all over your body as the massage ends you two find a new activity to do now that you’re all lubed up.

Levi

You two were playing video games in his room when Levi decided he wanted to make things more interesting, whoever won the next game gets to ask a favor from the loser. You agree to his terms and you two start playing, he ends up winning and he starts to smirk. You fear the worst but there is nothing you can do now so you just wait to hear what he wants.

“MC I want... to give you a massage. Not just any massage I bought this body lotion from Akuzon the other day. I... I want to use it but you’ll have to get naked,” He barely manages to finish his request and he’s blushing like crazy.

It was definitely not what you were expecting but you were increased so you stood up and started to take off your clothes, you noticed Levi’s eyes were practically glued on. You lay down and he applied the body lotion all over your body, he made sure not to miss a single spot. His hands were anxious at first but as it whet on he got more confidant and firm, filling your body with a feeling of relaxation.

 

He asks you if it feels good and your quiet grunts only fill him with more confidence. He then turns you over so you face him, he has to cover everything in the body lotion after all. He caresses your stomach, thighs finally landing on your more intimate area. He blushes but he doesn’t stop le lets his hands stay there for a bit then he starts to move, seeing you wince beneath he gives him all the confidence he needs to continue and he doesn’t plan on stopping soon.

Satan

You’re studying in his room with him for the upcoming exams, he looks at you as he turns the page and sees you slouched over your books. He warns you that you’ll have a sore back but you’re so focused that you can’t hear him so he goes back to his book. When you two take a break he sees you stretch your arms and rub your back. Then he gets an idea, and what a fun idea it is.

“MC you’ve been working hard and I know this course on the history of the Devildom is quite hard. Why don’t I help you relax for a moment? What do you say, doesn’t a massage sound perfect right now.” He sais as you rub your back, you could really use one right now so you agree to his plan. 

Before you know Satan has removed all the books from the table and you lay on it. His touch is strong yet careful, he doesn’t want to hurt you. He wants you to enjoy yourself after all. He manages to relax your tense shoulders and he takes away the pain in your back if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was using magic. Maybe he was but you weren’t going to complain you felt too good. At one point he can hear you pur something which pleases him greatly.

“Are you feeling good Kitten? I’m glad, though I know how to make it even better!” He sais with a devilish smirk and before you know it he’s removed all your clothes leaving you naked on his table. Seeing you so vulnerable arouses him to no end. His hands are greedier then before as they search every bit of your exposed skin he then turns you around to fully admire you, it’s going to be a long but fun night.

Asmo

You and Asmo are having an at-home spa day, you gave each other masks, put cucumbers on the eyes of each other. He was going for the whole spa experience and that, of course, includes a massage.

“Alright MC lay down. I’ll massage you so good you’ll feel pleasure like you never have before, and if you’re good I might let you return the favor!” He sais biting his lip.

You feel flustered but you lay down on his bed, you jump a bit as he puts a cold cream on your back but soon he adds the warmth of his hands to the mix, this calms you down instantly. His touch is soft, playfull, and lingering whenever he lifts his hands it makes you crave his touch even more. He licks his lips every time you whimper when he moves his hands. He can’t help it he finds you so very hot, and the noises you make are like music to his ears.

When touching you he has no shame at all, he lets his hands rest on your ass, your thigs he wants to feel all of you and he will.

“You look so adorable MC, like a little rabbit for me to devour. I could never say no to that!” He sais as he starts to kiss your skin while caressing a different part of your body, with every moan you release he gives you a rougher kiss leaving manny lovebites on your back but that is just the start.

Beel

Beel convinced you to work out with him, now that you're done you two are stretching together. Beel made sure to only do things you’d actually be able to do together but since you didn’t work out often you felt quite sore when you got home. Beel sees you rubbing your neck and immediately knows what to do when he is sore he goes to get a massage, he’s had so many at this point that he knows how to give one too.

“MC thank you for working out with me. Allow me to give you a massage to help you with your sore muscles.” He gives you this big innocent smile how could you refuse. So you go with him to his room and lay down on the bed. Beel grabs your shoulders and his touch is very firm but it also feels real. Beel slimes to himself as he sees you relax.

Hearing you grunt in pleasure does something to him, he wants to hear you grunt again so he presses the same spot, but it’s not enough to fill his hunger for you. He wants, no he needs to make you feel good.

“MC I’m going to undress you, is that okay?” He asked in a low voice. You simply needed and he gently removed every article of clothing you had including your underwear. Seeing you lay there he licked his lips, you looked so good. As he continued the massage, every grunt you made was met with a low growl of his. You were both losing yourself in the moment, his hands hungrily wandered everywhere needing to feel you but it wasn’t enough his lips needed action too. So he kissed your neck over and over again, you two would have hun for quite some time.

Belphie

You two were taking a nap together but Belphie had turned you in such an uncomfortable position that it started to hurt, but the Demon’s grip was too strong for you to escape. When he finally woke up he released you and you complained about how much your back hurt. He takes a second to rub the sleep out of his eyes but then gives you a smile.

“I’m sorry let me make it up to you,” He said placing his hands on your back. His touch is rougher than expected but it makes you feel good non the less. Belphie finds the movements you make when he presses against you highly amusing and maybe even arousing. Whatever it is the fact that you both feel good is reassuring.

His desires get bigger and bigger until he can’t take it anymore and ripped your clothes away to let his hands explore your newly exposed skin.

“You feel so good MC, I wonder how good I can make us both feel?” He whispers in your ear. You start to blush but his hands feel so good, he then pushes you down on the bed and he admits his hands glide all over your back while he uses your ass as a pillow. When he lifts his head however you know the real work is about to start. 

[starlightrows]

Exactly The Way You Are

Pairing: Modern!Boba Fett x fem!reader 

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: EXPLICIT self body shaming, potential body dysmorphia, hurt/comfort, body worship, oral (f receiving), soft!Boba 

Summary: You’re feeling insecure about your body and start changing how you dress in attempt to hide from your negative feelings. Boba is not having any of it. 

AN: Requested by @otp-lovers   

Every single one of you is beautiful, exactly the way you are

Early spring is not usually the optimal time for spending the day at the beach. It’s still too cold to swim, and at times too cloudy to tan. But if you’re heading to the coast to enjoy some fresh air, listen to the waves crash on the beach, and enjoy a bowl of clam chowder it’s perfect! You and two of your girl friends decided to drive out for the day to get some lunch, take a nice long walk and catch up on life. Normally you would have liked to do a day trip like this in the company of your boyfriend Boba, but he’s been exceptionally busy with work the last couple days. 

“You’re tempting me to play hooky and just go with you in that sundress baby,” he pauses by the door taking the time to rake his eyes over your form. 

“You could, I don’t think the girls would mind,” you smile sweetly batting your eyelashes for him knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to say yes. You just wanted to tease him. He groans in response, but shakes his head, also knowing he is not at liberty to accept your offer. So instead he tells you to go enjoy yourself, say hello to your friends for him. 

The drive down to the coast is pleasant with good music, your friends singing and talking and laughing, and the weather is actually even nicer than you expected. And there isn’t even a line to get into your favorite restaurant in the area. After a lovely lunch you and your friends take off your shoes and walk down the beach to dip your toes in the water. 

There are a couple groups of people sunbathing, children splashing in the water, playing volleyball. It’s like summer has come early, you almost wish you’d worn your swimsuit. You and your friends decide to kick off your shoes and wade in the water a bit and take some pictures together. Another group of girls a little ways down the beach also taking pictures and laughing approach your group asking if one of you would be willing to take some group pictures on them, and that they would be happy to return the favor. 

As your friend took one of the girls phones to take some nice group pictures, you stand off to the side and can’t help but stare. These girls all have gorgeous hair, long sleek legs, flat tummies with belly rings, and perky full breasts. Not a blemish on their perfectly tanned skin, though you suspected their tans may be less than authentic given the current time of year. Still you couldn’t help comparing yourself, you felt a bit pudgy in your sundress wishing you had ordered something lighter for lunch, and mentally cursing the wind for blowing your dress around you and making you look bigger and more awkward as opposed to windswept and attractive like these girls. You think about the upcoming summer, and your collection of swimsuits at home… true they’re pretty and comfortable but you wish you could wear and feel confident in the kind of swimsuits these girls are wearing. 

The other group of girls finished up their pictures and you tried your best to appear confident and unbothered when they turned the camera on you and your friends. You didn’t want to bring down the mood, so you plastered on a smile and tried to laugh along with your friends for the remainder of the trip. 

After dropping off your friends you head home, anxious to take a shower and get the sand off of your body. Unfortunately you knew Boba would not be home until very late, so it would just be you for a bit. Oh well, that just means watching whatever you want on tv with no complaint. You shower and wash your hair, taking your time to fully feel clean. Stepping out of the shower and ringing out your hair, you feel a lot better now that there wasn’t sad in places it should not be. 

You cross into the bedroom and slip one of your favorite nighties on to relax for the evening, but when you turn around and catch sight of yourself in the full length mirror you stop and stare at your reflection. You frowned at yourself, turning to your side to catch a glimpse of your profile and finding it no better in your opinion. You turn away from yourself and remove the nighty tossing it unceremoniously onto the chair at your vanity table. Instead you dig out an oversized t-shirt and a pair of Boba’s sweatpants. You look back at yourself in the mirror and shrug your shoulders… good enough… before heading back out into the living room to put on some mindless tv and waste time on instagram and tik tok. 

That was a horrible idea. You spent hours down the social media spiral, looking at pictures and videos of seemingly perfect people with perfect lives and perfect bodies that always seemed to know the perfect thing to say. It made you sick to your stomach. Eventually you fall asleep laying on the couch with the tv still playing. By the time Boba gets home you’re lightly snoring and your arm is hanging off the side of the couch. He chuckles at finding you in such a disheveled state, but takes care to carefully lift you up off the couch and carry you to bed. 

In the morning you wake up to the sounds of him moving around in the bedroom, though he is trying very hard to be quiet and not wake you up. He notices you stirring and returns to the bed to sit next to you. He’s fully dressed, ready to head out again. 

“Hey,” he whispers, stroking your hair. You smile sleepily at him, and mumble some kind of greeting. “I’m just about to head out. I’ll be home late again tonight, try to go to bed before you pass out on the couch,” he teases. You scrunch up your nose and nuzzle your cheek into his hand. 

He leans down and gives you a kiss on the forehead, “Only a couple more days of these long shifts baby. You’ll have me all to yourself again come this weekend,” 

“Good,” you murmur “I don’t like going to bed by myself,” 

He chuckles again, and gives your three more little kisses before saying goodbye and leaving the bedroom. It’s still pretty early and you went to bed very late last night, so you rolled over and went back to sleep for another hour or two. When you do get up to start your day, you find that your closet full of dresses, skirts, and generally fun cute outfits does not bring you the usual joy of picking out one to wear. The thought of showing off your figure makes you feel anxious and unwell, so instead you opt for a pair of comfortable joggers and another baggy t-shirt.

The day passes by slowly going about your errands and daily chores getting less work done than you would have liked. You feel a little blah, and just can’t seem to shake off the brain fog that’s plaguing you. You eat dinner by yourself, and turn in early for the night once again wearing Boba’s clothes that are far too big for you. He likes it when you wear them anyway. At some point in the night, Boba comes home and happily slides into bed next to you to catch what little sleep he can before getting up for an early start once more. This time he’s already gone when you wake up, but you can tell he’s been around. His clothes are in the laundry basket, and there’s a coffee cup in the sink. 

To your delight, there is another cup of coffee poured sitting in the refrigerator chilling. You happily mix in ice and creamer, thinking about how lucky you are to have a boyfriend that takes that extra step for you. One of his many little ways to let you know he loves you. It lifts your spirits a bit, but not enough to shake you from standing naked in front of your closet glaring at your clothes. They offend your eyes, and make you long for things you shouldn’t. So you settle for another haphazard outfit that hides your figure, and dampens your mood. 

The day passes you by though you are able to be a least a little more productive than yesterday. You start the laundry, and wash the dishes. Call to reschedule your dentist appointment, and even get in a couple hours of actual work for your job. But this looming cloud of distraction and general sadness prevails, and you don’t get to many of the other things on your list for the day. As you get ready for bed, wearing Boba’s clothes for the third night in a row you took comfort in the knowledge that tomorrow when you woke up, Boba would be there and he would not have to go to work. Surely that would make you feel better. 

In the morning you happily roll over and cuddle into Boba’s warm chest. You had made a reservation for the two of you to go to brunch, but that isn’t until 10:30am so that leaves plenty of time to snuggle. Lazy kisses and whispered good mornings shared across the pillows and under the sheets. Eventually though you do both get up and get ready to go out for the day. You choose a pair of jeans and a nice-ish t-shirt that you tuck in, you feel a little better than you have the last few days and take the time to do your hair and makeup. 

Boba turns when he hears you coming towards the living room, and he has to put in real effort not to let his face show his concern when he observes your somewhat drab outfit you’ve chosen. You never give up an opportunity to get dressed up cute, especially when he’s taking you out on a date. 

“Is that my shirt?” he asks, extending a hand out for you to take, you accept his hand but feel your anxiety rising in your throat and burning your cheeks. 

“Yeah… I’m sorry, I can put on one of mine if it bothers you,” you drop your gaze and shift uncomfortably. Boba is unsure of what to make of this, so he proceeds cautiously.

“Hm… how about that blue dress? The navy one you like so much,” he suggests running his thumbs over your knuckles and swinging your arm just a little to get your attention. But you keep your gaze fixed on his shoes, and give your head a little shake.

“I… don’t want to wear that one today,” you say, pulling your hand away. Now he’s really concerned, you were fine when you woke up this morning, what changed. 

“Sweetheart you love that dress, what’s wrong?” he asks 

“It’s nothing I just… I just don’t feel particularly dressy at the moment” you admit, rubbing your arm and still making every effort not to look at him. 

“And why’s that?” he catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilts your head up, forcing you to look at him “Come on kitten, there are no secrets between us,” 

Your lip quivers a bit, you don’t want to verbalize what’s been bothering you. But his eyes are so tender and concerned, and his grip on your chin is insistent and firm. So you relent. 

“I spent too long on instagram looking at influencers and celebrities, and me and the girls took some pictures for another group of girls at the beach the other day. They were all so beautiful with their flat stomachs, perfect tans, and full breasts. I’m sure they work hard to look that way, and I’m sure they have their own insecurities, but I look at them and I think… why can’t I look like that?”

“I don’t want you to look like them” he says 

“What?” you jerk your head back just a little and look up at him. 

“I don’t want you to look like anyone else in the world, I want you to look like you. Exactly the way you are” he slides his hands under your shirt, pulling it out from where its been tucked into your jeans, settling on your hips. He takes a step closer and dips his head down to kiss each of your cheeks. 

“I want you to wear whatever clothes you like, especially the sweet little dresses I know you love so much,” be begins pressing kisses down your neck, and sliding his hands down over your ass. “I want you to know that you’re my girl. My absolutely gorgeous, perfect girl” 

He’s leading you back into the bedroom, walking you backwards slowly and carefully, whispering praises into the skin of your neck between hot kisses. The backs of your knees hit the edge of bed, and you lower yourself down onto it. 

Your hands rest on his sides smoothing over his soft tummy through his shirt, you think about his body. It doesn’t fit society's view of an ideal man, not overly muscled, spray tanned and polished. In the same way you’re not like the models and celebrities you’d been comparing yourself to. 

He pushes you down by the shoulder, coaxing you to lay down as he runs his big hands up and down your sides, dipping down under your shirt and reaching up to palm your breasts. His rough thumbs brush over the quickly stiffening peaks of your nipples. His lips drag over your jaw and you moan at his ministrations. 

“Babe,” you manage to get out, “we’re gonna miss our reservations,” 

He releases his hold on your nipples, and strips off your shirt. He hikes you up higher on the bed, and captures your lips in an insistent kiss. 

“Don’t care,” he growls, “this is more important,” he licks a stripe from your chin all the way down your neck and sucks a mark between your breasts. His fingers work to rid you of your bra. When it’s been discarded somewhere into the room, he turns his attention back to your nipples and takes one into his mouth and suckles on it, rolling the other between his fingers. Your soft moans and wandering hands encourage him, and he switches to your other nipple. 

After a minute or two he releases your nipple from his mouth, and comes back up to recapture your lips. His hands trail down, fingers dipping into the waistline of your jeans. He breaks the kiss, as he undoes the button and zipper of your jeans pulling them down slowly over your ass. You kick them the rest of the way off and spread your legs a bit so he can settle comfortably between them.  

“Your cute little dresses usually make this a lot faster, princess. But I don’t mind taking my time,” he rasps. Your breath hitches as he slides your panties down, and drops his head down in between your thighs. His breath ghosts over your core, already beginning to get a bit wet in anticipation. His hands rub up and down the outsides of your thighs as he begins peppering gentle kisses over the soft skin of your inner thighs. Climbing higher and higher until he reaches your lower lips. 

Without warning his tongue darts out and splits your lips, licking a broad stripe up from the bottom and stopping at your clit to latch on and begin sucking. His tongue continues prodding in and out as he devours your wet cunt. His hands cup your ass and squeeze, pulling you apart further. Your chest is heaving and your mind feels like it’s narrowing in on the building feeling of your impending orgasm. 

“Boba,” you gasp out “I-- I’m gonna cum… I-” 

He doesn't answer in words, he growls into your aching cunt and moves his tongue faster to get you over the edge. Your orgasm is blinding in its intensity, sending your mind reeling as your choke out strangled cries of pleasure. As you’re coming down from your high, Boba releases your swollen clit from his lips and kisses his way back up to you, dragging his hands up with him. He whispers the sweetest words into your skin.   

“Mmm you’re my girl. My sweet, perfect girl. I’ll spend the rest of my days showing you how perfect you truly are,”

[heartshaped-lou]

Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

thanks li and laur for tagging me!! 💘 it took me ages to do this but I had fun!! ( @whaleharry @bfjacketmybeloved )

MUSIC

fav genre? ehh indie rock/rock/pop??? i don't know how to categorize this stuff ajxjsb

fav artist? louis

fav song? impossible question. I have a playlist full of those, can't choose only one

most listened song recently? mhhh probably explodir by anavitoria and peace by taylor swift

song currently stuck in your head? woman by harry

5 fav lyrics? *laughs nervously* heh I'm gonna hate this

1. when we collide we come together, if we don't we'll always be apart. i'll take a bruise, i know you're worth it (many of horror - biffy clyro)

2. for every time that they want to count you out, use your voice every single time you open up your mouth (but the whole song, really: SING - my chemical romance)

3. the morning sun is yours to have, put your arms around this house. you don't have to swim forever cause everything is gonna be okay (happy as a larrie - swim deep)

4. I'm full of love i could barely eat + when my times comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her (work song - hozier) [god, what the fuck, hozier?? how dare you]

5. defenceless, all of it <3

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS (disclaimer: i'm gonna have to count fanfics because i read a lot... just not necessarily books sjxjsj)

fav book genre? essays/fiction/romance/mystery/again, not good with categories wjxjsj

fav writer? don't have one

fav book? you'll never believe this but... pride and prejudice sjxjja and l'arte di essere fragili by alessandro d'avenia (dunno if it's been translated)

fav book series? I haven't read that many, but percy jackson

comfort book? escapade

perfect book to read on a rainy day? uhhh no idea

fav characters? 

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? my memory is very bad, so I don't know any quote by heart ajjssj

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator  | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? no more letting me choose genres thank you

fav movie? pride (2014)

comfort movie? how to train your dragon, tangled, pride and prejudice

movie you watch every year? love actually

fav tv show? shameless, b99, anne with an e, doctor who

comfort tv show? b99 or new girl

most rewatched tv show? b99 and greys anatomy

ultimate otp? ian/mickey (shameless), jake/amy (b99)

5 fav characters?

1. nick miller (new girl)

2. jake peralta (b99)

3. 10th doctor (doctor who)

4. sawamura daichi (haikyuu)

5. donna noble (doctor who)

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons(22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging |one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

tagging @deer @tanktop-lou @longhairlouis-mybeloved @bitnotgood28 @gettingdizzyoh @louisnewera @thosefookinavacados if want to!! sorry if you've done this already, and as always no pressure <3

[sincerelyella]

Everything Has Changed Chapter 6

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Song inspiration: Everything Has Changed by Ed Sheeran & Taylor Swift

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella)

Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Ella Brooks belongs to me

Summary: What if Liam was promised as a child to another kingdom’s princess?

Warnings: angst, tw: gun violence

Words: 1265

Four years ago

Liam & Ella’s last summer together

Ella wandered through the palace while Liam was in his classes during the day. It was a boring place when she wasn’t hanging out with him; a moment away from Liam was quiet and somber. She passed by a door that was glass and she was able to see inside - a large piano in the corner, several stands for sheet music either opened or closed, three acoustic guitars, and a cello. Ella smiled and pushed open the door, kicking a door stopper underneath it. She ran her hand across the baby grand and sat on the black bench in front of the keys. The piano was covered in dust and Ella sneezed, making all of it fly up in a big puff. Her fingers splayed over the keys and she began to play.

All I knew

This morning when I woke

Is I know something now

Know something now I didn’t before

And all I’ve seen

Since eighteen hours ago

Is blue eyes and freckles and your smile

In the back of my mind making me feel like

Suddenly, the door to the music room slammed shut so loudly that Ella thought she peed her pants. She turned and saw a smiling Liam.

“You scared the shit out of me! And aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

“I’m sorry,” Liam moved to grab a guitar and sat next to her on the bench. “Classes are done early.”

“Early?” Ella’s eyes narrowed. “You mean you left early.”

Liam shrugged. “Tomato, tomato.”

“You really do this every week?”

“Only when you’re here,” he flashed her that charming smile and Ella could only roll her eyes. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was listening to you sing. I shut the door to give us privacy.”

Ella arched her brow. “Privacy?”

Liam chose to ignore her question. “I know that song you were singing.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“I like singing in my spare time,” Ella smiled. “I don’t have any siblings to do this with.”

“I’ll play with you.”

Ella’s eyes widened in surprise. “You know how to play that?”

Liam smiled. “I know how to play everything. Keep going please.”

Ella’s fingers danced over the keys once more.

Cause all I know is we said, “Hello”

And your eyes look like comin’ home

All I know is a simple name

And everything has changed

All I know is you held the door

You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours

All I know since yesterday

Is everything has changed

Liam smiled as he watched Ella play the piano. Leo hated playing any instruments so he didn’t have anyone to jam with while growing up. If he had known Ella loved doing this, he would have asked her to play a long time ago.

He strummed his guitar to life and began to play and sing along with her.

And all my walls

Stood tall painted blue

But I’ll take ‘em down, take 'em down

And open up the door for you

And all I feel

In my stomach is butterflies

The beautiful kind, makin’ up for lost time

Takin’ flight, makin’ me feel like

Ella had stopped singing as soon as Liam started, she smiled as she played and listened. Both of them had feelings for each other for a long while now, but this jam session made them fall in love.

An hour later

The pair walked out and began to stroll down the hallway towards the kitchens.

“That made me hungry,” Ella said as she curled her arm through Liam’s.

“Me too,” Liam stopped at the stairs and turned to face her. “I know this is arranged and everything … you and me. But, I love you.”

Ella’s jaw slacked. “For real?”

“For real,” he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Since you were like, 12.”

Ella let out a laugh, even though tears ran down her cheeks. “I love you too.”

Liam leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. It was their first kiss, and it was glorious.

**

Present-day

It had been four years since Ella last saw Liam; four years since her family fled from her home country to California. Her father, now in law enforcement and working for the LAPD, still follows the anti-monarchy group that attacked them all those years ago. The group’s leader, Rodrigo, and his second-in-command, Andres, who was Danilo’s head of security, spoke openly about finding the royal family. They claimed that if the heir to the throne was still alive, she still had all her rights to the crown.

Danilo always had a plan should people come after him and his family. He had passports with their new names ready for the three of them as they arrived at the airport; the family snuck through an underground tunnel to avoid security and video cameras inside. Unfortunately, once on the tarmac, Flora saw one security officer approaching them with his glock pointed at Ella. In an act of pure instinct, Flora yelled at her family to run and dove to take the bullet. Ella screamed and attempted to run towards her mother but her father pulled her away towards the plane.

“Anak, we must run!”

“Daddy, she’s dead!” Ella shrieked as she watched security lean over her mother’s lifeless body.

Danilo didn’t respond and just hauled his daughter onto the plane and ordered the pilot to take off. As he sat across from Ella, he felt the tears begin to fall. His wife of 35 years was gone in a split second. All their memories flashed through his mind as he pulled Ella onto his lap. The two of them cried the entire plane ride to America.

Once they arrived in the States, Danilo quickly found a job with help from his cousin. Burying himself in work helped him with the immense grief he felt from losing his wife.

‘Daniel’ and his daughter ‘Ellie’ arrived in California on a Tuesday, and by Thursday afternoon, they had purchased a home in Carson. It was a large two-bedroom house that was newly built and fully furnished. Ella figured they got such a good deal because of her dad. Even though no one knew about their past except for her uncle and aunt that lived down the street, Ella still knew that her dad had planned an escape route since before he got married. She had no idea what his plans were, but she knew that house was part of it.

Four years was a long time, but Ella still thought about Liam every single day. She knew he had probably forgotten about her, but she couldn’t help where her mind took her. She buried herself in school work and going out with her friends. Her father had no idea of course.

“Dad, I’m going to Riya’s,” Ella hollered as she grabbed her bag and ran out of her room.

Danilo quickly ran after her and stopped in front of the door. “Ella, we talked about this.”

“Daddy, we’re in a totally different country, with totally different names,” Ella folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

“Don’t,” Danilo shook his head. “Don’t do the face, Ella, I’m your father and I’m always going to worry about you. Hinahanap pa nila tayo!” 

Ella let out a sigh and dropped her arms. “I know they’re still looking for us. I’ll be careful. I’m always careful.”

Danilo smiled and leaned down to kiss his daughter’s forehead. “That’s all I ask.”

Ella skipped out the door and waited for her dad to lock it behind her.

“Hey, Troublemaker.”

[ynsimagines]

Supergirl “Die From A Broken Heart”

This is another oneshot about singer/songwriter B!D. This oneshot is based of a song from artists Maddie and Tae called “Die from a Broken Heart.” I dont any of these lyrics. 

Easter was supposed to be a happy time. A time to celebrate with friends and family, eat a lot of good food and of course chocolate. It was also a time to spend with your s/o. Unless of course you both got into a massive argument a couple days before resulting in him spilling red wine all over your favorite dress and storming out of your Nashville apartment. Apparently you didn’t spend enough time with him you were always too focused on your music or your friends and sisters. 

As if it couldn’t get any worse this morning you woke up to a text that said “we’re done.” You laid back down on your bed and immediately started to cry. Kara must’ve heard you because after a few minutes she was knocking on your door.

“Little one, whats wrong? Can I come in?” Asked your older sister.

“Yes,” you chocked. Forget trying to be tough or putting up a front you just wanted your big sister.

The superhero walked in looking extremely concerned. She knew about the fight you had a couple days ago, and probably was able to guess what happened. She sat down on your bed and took you in her arms as you continued to sob.

“Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry.” She said rubbing your back. Kara wished she could take all your pain away, but unfortunately that was something Supergirl couldn’t do.

“He broke up with me with a text. How does he sleep at night?” You asked.

Kara looked at you sadly, “I dont know babe, but he’s got some nerve breaking up with you that way especially since your big sister is Supergirl.”

This actually caused you to laugh, but then pretty soon you started crying again. Kara looked at you sympathetically moving some hair out of your face.

“How do you get red wine out of a dress?” you asked causing Kara to have a confused look on her face. 

“I dont know baby girl, Eliza will probably,” with that you nodded.

“I’ll call Alex, and we’ll have a sisters day at home.”

You shook your head, “it’s Easter we’re all going to brunch with everyone, you cant just cancel.”

“Our friends will understand, sweetheart.”

“They shouldn’t have to it’s okay, I’ll be fine” you insisted. 

Kara seemed to think about this for a second before letting out a breath she was holding. “Alright little one.”

You both got up and as you went to the bathroom to wash your face Kara went to text Alex and let her know the current situation. When you walked out into the kitchen you saw her making both of you Coffee.

“I have a headache,” you said sitting down at the counter. 

Kara walked over with a glass of water and some aspirin almost as if she predicted what you just said. 

“That’ll be the dehydration,” she responded kissing the top of your head. 

After drinking your coffee you went back to your room and tried making yourself look presentable you looked over at your bed, and noticed your pillow had mascara stains on it. You’d have to ask your mom how to get those out. 

As you got ready for the day you started thinking about your relationship. Sure you’d been pretty busy, but you made an effort to spend time with him, but you also had to make sure you spent time with your friends and sisters. It was difficult to balance work with your personal life especially since you were in Nashville anywhere from once to three times a month, but you always made time for him.

Once you finished getting ready you and Kara headed over to the restaurant where you met Alex, Lena, and Your mom. You would have to wait up for your other friends to arrive.

You hugged all three of them they’d probably heard through the grape vine what happened. “Hey mom, how do you get a red wine stain out of a dress?” The other four women looked at you sympathetically and Eliza seems to think it over for a minute. 

“Boiling water, if that doesn’t work try vinegar,” answered Lena surprising you all. 

“How’d you know that, Lena” asked Kara surprised she was pretty sure Lena had never done laundry before. 

“I’ve had to get out a few red wine stains before” Lena said looking at you sadly.

“What about black mascara off a pillowcase?” Alex reached her hand out and began to rub your shoulder comfortingly.

“The same thing Lena said, Boiling water of vinegar,” answered your mom at this you nodded. 

“Mom, can I come and maybe stay a few days? This weekend or next?” you asked something about being home always comforted you. Your mom grabbed your hand, “you can come anytime sweetheart, I’m always here for you.”

At that the rest of the super friends begun arriving. 

You had managed to mostly put up a front that day. many of your friends knew what happened but you didn't want to be a bummer so you decided not to talk about it. You did however ask J’onn if he could come look at the front door of your apartment in Nashville since it got slammed and doesn’t close right to which he readily agreed, and also subtly let you know you could talk to him about anything. “What are space dads for?”

He also asked if you wanted him to take care of anything and you immediately knew what he was hinting at. You told him no and to keep his pistol in the drawer as mad as you were at your ex you didn't want anything bad to happen to him. You’d have to remember to tell Alex the same thing...

That night you were completely exhausted emotionally and physically. You laid on yours and Kara’s couch with your head on Alex’s lap who decided to spend the night in order to make sure you were ok and your feet on Kara’s.

“Alex?” you asked trying not to cry for the umpteenth time today. 

“Yeah, baby girl?” 

“Can your knees give out from praying so hard?”

Alex sighed sadly seeming to think about it for a minute while she gently rubbed your shoulder. “I dont think so sweetheart.”

“Can you go blind from crying in the dark?” at this your voice cracked. “Was it ever real if he doesn't feel the way I feel?” you sat up now and were full on sobbing Alex sat next to you and wrapped her arms around you from behind. And Kara got in front of you looking into your eyes.

“It was real,” she tells you firmly. “The way you felt was real and that’s all that matters.” 

“I wanna kick myself for falling so hard, can you die from a Broken Heart?”

Kara shook her head and kissed her forehead, “you’re not gonna die sweetheart, you’re gonna be alright.” 

“And were gonna help you get through this,” Alex said also kissing the top of your head. And you continued like that crying in your sisters arms until you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up from text messages from many of your friends. Nia and Lena both told you they were always there to talk with Nia offering to take you for some retail therapy. Lena offered to take you to lunch to get your mind off things, and Winn said you should get together and have a video game marathon. It made you feel a little better knowing you had so many people there to help you. But you felt like your heart was broken all over again when you checked your FB and saw that your ex had changed his relationship status to single. How could he leave you and move on so easily. 

You went out to the living room where your sisters were making breakfast and handed them the phone not wanting to verbally communicate what happened. 

“Oh sweetheart,” said Alex coming to give you a hug along with Kara. “I promise one day you’ll be able to look back on this,” you cut her off.

“Alex, please dont say I’m gonna laugh about this someday you didn’t see the way he drove away,” Alex looked at you sadly and nodded.

“Okay, baby girl why dont you eat something Kara and I made breakfast you’ll feel better.”

Later that day you went back into your room after rejecting Alex and Kara’s offer to go out on a walk and thought about everything you’d been through this past week. Every conversation and bit of advice you’d gotten and all of your feelings and despite what Kara said all you could keep thinking was “Can you Die From a Broken Heart?” You thought to yourself that it was a great idea for a song, and it made you laugh. You always used music throughout your life as a way of dealing with situations. You grabbed your songbook, a pen, your guitar and got to work

.

It was months later your new single “Die from a Broken Heart” had been released by your label not before playing it for your sisters who loved it. The other super friends had now heard it as well and thought it was brilliant. The song was now climbing the charts. You were currently back in Nashville getting ready to film the music video for your song when your manager called.

“Hey Liz, whats up?” You said from the hair and makeup chair.

“Have you looked at the charts recently” said the older women. 

“Not in the last week, why?” You asked curiously.

“I think you should see for yourself” she said excitedly. So you did just that to see your song was now number one on the Billboard country charts, “Oh my god, we did it.”

“No you did it,” said Liz. You’d had songs go number one before, but honestly it never got old. “Liz I gotta go I need to tell my sisters and friends, we’ll celebrate tonight.” 

You facetimed your sisters and they were of course ecstatic and so proud of promising to also celebrate with you when you got back home and you soon got a bunch more congratulations texts from the rest of your friends. 

.

It had been a few more months the music video came out and was amazing as well. Everyone loved it and you even made Kara and your mom cry. 

You had just received your platinum record in the mail and your older sisters couldn’t be more proud of you as you were currently getting ready to go out and celebrate at karaoke night with the Super friends.

.

And one year later you won a Song writers award for the lyrics which was a first for your career, and so amazing to be noticed in that way.

“I really have you guys to thank you guys” you said to your sisters and friends before you were going to perform at the award ceremony they had come too. “With all the conversations we had and the advice you gave me you practically co wrote it,” you said making everyone laugh. You cheersed with them before getting ready to go on stage.

“I never did actually get the red wine out of my dress” you said to your sisters afterwards. “But maybe having my heart broken wasn’t such a bad thing.”

[jihyuncompass]

I’ll Be Home (To You) For Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday (or just a wonderful day for those who don’t celebrate Christmas)

I wrote this fic as a Christmas present for my very beloved friend @sunshinejihyun​. Getting to meet you and becoming your friend has been one of the greatest moments of this challenging year. And I am grateful every single day to have a friend as kind, smart, creative, passionate, and beautiful as you are. As Christmas approached I knew I had to give you something as a gift. So I hope a fic about one of your favorite boys suffices. I hope you enjoy this, and again. I love you Bryn, so much. 

Summary: Kiro has been working more than overtime as of late. Still, he makes sure to spare some time this holidays for his special someone. 

Kiro x MC

Word Count: 2.9k 

Warnings: None

Kiro’s eyes shone brightly on the giant screen. I watched as the promo for his newest music video played over the large display screen at the mall. Shoppers moved around me as I watched him on the giant display screen. A couple other passersby also stopped to watch him, they also looked just as mesmerized as I did. I sighed, a mix of contentment and also sadness. While seeing Kiro’s face on a TV screen was not uncommon, seeing his face in person had become rare as of late. 

A few weeks ago Kiro had been forced to start working more. His manager and producers wanted to release a Christmas album right on Christmas Day, about a week from now. Which meant that he was forced to work. At this point pretty much day and night, I couldn’t even really remember the last time I had seen his face in person. The last time I could recall was about a week ago, and had been just for a few minutes on a lunch break. Trying to make conversation with him over frenzied bites of lunch. 

He texted whenever he could, but it just wasn't the same as seeing him in person. His texts couldn’t quite convery his smile, or his warmth. It tied me over, but not nearly enough. 

As the promo ended I sighed again and kept walking through the mall. I came here in order to try and find the perfect gift for Kiro. A task that was much easier said than done. While I knew he would like anything I got him, I still wanted to get him something good. 

Maybe I could make something for him? I wondered walking around an art store, maybe he would appreciate something from the heart? What would I even make for him? I knew how to knit, maybe I could make him a scarf or a sweater? Would he even like something like that? 

Near the back of the store was a wall full of yarn. There seemed to be colors of all types, different textures and sizes. I was practically overwhelmed with yarn. My eyes scanned over the options. When you thought of Kiro I always thought of softer colors. Warm, like his smile. 

I picked up a warm yellow yarn. It was soft to the touch, and the perfect color for Kiro. I smiled and grabbed the rest of the supplies that I knew I would need. As I took it to the register my fingers were already itching to start knitting. 

Hurrying home I was practically running back to my apartment. I held the bag under my arm to keep it from being hit with the snow that fell from the sky. My nose burned from the cold, my fingers bright red as I walked home to my apartment.

My phone dinged as soon as I shut the front door. I dropped the bag of yarn down on the table and pulled out my phone from my shoulder bag. Kiro’s bright smiling face lit up the screen. I smiled, sitting down in a chair I answered his call. 

“Kiro!” “Miss Chips!” Kiro said. “I managed to sneak a quick break so I wanted to call you!” 

I leaned against the chair, a warm smile on my face. “How’s work going?” 

“It’s going. We’re getting close to being done.” Kiro explained. 

“Do you think you’ll be done before Christmas Eve so we can spend the holiday together?” Kiro was quiet on the other end. I tried not to make any sounds that could show I was a bit disappointed. I knew this was a possibility. There was still a good chance he would have to work. 

“I’m not sure. I’m going to try though! I want to spend Christmas with you.” Kiro said. I bit my lip. 

I looked at my bag of yarn and supplies sitting on the table. “Don’t push yourself Kiro, I don’t want you to hurt yourself!” 

He hummed on the other end. “Don’t worry about me Miss Chips!” From Kiro’s end I heard a few sounds, someone opening a door and talking. “Ah I gotta go, they want me back in the studio.” 

“You should get back in then?” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk longer.” Kiro said apologetically. 

I smiled, a bit sadly. “It’s all good Kiro. Go sing your heart out okay?” 

“I will! Talk to you later!” 

The phone disconnected before I could even say goodbye. I pulled the phone away from my ear. I held back another sigh, my eyes slid over to the bag of yarn again. Well, even if I couldn’t spend the holidays with him, I still wanted to have a gift to give him the next time I saw him, and hopefully, it’ll distract me from thinking too much about Kiro’s neverending work schedule. 

I finished the sweater in the late evening on Christmas Eve. By the time I finished, my fingers were calloused and aching. Still, it was finished and that’s the most important part. I sat at my desk, back hunched as I wrote out a card to go with the gift. 

In my tiny apartment I couldn’t fit an entire Christmas tree. So instead I settled for a small one that sat on my dining table. I wrapped it in twinkle lights and a few ornaments I had in storage. It wasn’t much, but it still managed to make me smile despite that. 

After wrapping the git I set it under the small tree. As I sat back against the chair my eyes started to grow heavy. I’d woken up early to bake cookies and sweets, and finish the sweater. Now, I could feel my energy running out. I rubbed my eyes to stay awake. Not yet. I can’t sleep yet. 

Wandering around the apartment I tried to find things to keep myself awake. I turned on the TV, maybe watching a movie would help? I kept myself on my feet, blinking heavily. 

“Stay awake.” I whispered to myself. “Don’t go to sleep.” 

A sharp knock at the door broke me out of my thoughts. I rubbed my eyes again and looked at the clock. It was already midnight, it must be Kiro right. Who else would drop by here at almost midnight on Christmas Eve?

“Hey!” Kiro grinned when I opened the door. Melting snowflakes clung to the ends of Kiro’s hair. A black guitar bag was strapped to his back. I grinned back and welcomed him inside. 

“You managed to get out?”

He nodded and rubbed his freezing fingers together. “Yeah I managed to convince them to let me out for the night.” He faced me and was lightly bouncing on his heels to warm himself up. I took his hands in mine. His hands were ice cold, I held them tight to try and get him warm again. 

“Just for the night?” 

Kiro quietly sighed, exasperated. “I have to go back early tomorrow morning to finish everything.” Kiro seemed to notice the way my face fell, he frowned too then pulled his lips into a smile and squeezed my hands. “But you have me all night!” 

I cocked my head to the side. “All night huh?” 

Kiro laughed, his face flushing a little red. “I didn’t mean it like that! Unless, I mean if you want-” 

I laughed, grinning at him. “I’m just joking Kiro.” I sighed and met his bright blue eyes. “I’m just so glad I can have time with you. I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too.” Kiro said. “But don’t worry, I have no plans for tonight other than being with you! I promise!” I led him further into the apartment and shut the door behind us. Kiro laughed at the small little tree on the dining table. 

I followed behind him. “Hey I don’t have a lot of room here!” Kiro turned back. 

“I didn’t say anything!” Kiro said. We both laughed, as I looked over his face, exhaustion seemed to be radiating off of him. While it wasn’t very obvious, up close I saw the heaviness under his eyes. Still, he looked like he was trying to force himself awake, he kept fidgeting and moving to try and keep himself moving. 

The plate of Christmas cookies on the counter caught my eye. I had completely forgotten that I had left them there. I briefly let go of Kiro’s hand, I picked up the plate of cookies and turned back to Kiro. The moment that he saw the baked goods his face lit up like a child’s. 

“I made these earlier!” You set the plate down on the dining table. Kiro reached to pick 

up some of the cookies. He paused for a second then looked at me. 

“Don’t tell Savin about this.” Kiro said. While his tone was humorous there was still a hint of seriousness there. I slid the plate closer to him. 

“Savin’s not here. He doesn’t have to know a thing.” I winked at him. Kiro’s face broke into an even bigger grin. Kiro grabbed a gingerbread man on the plate, he held it up to bite the head off before you stopped him. “Kiro wait!” 

He stopped, his face fell into a confused expression. “What? Why?” 

I motioned to the cookies. “Look at them.” Kiro looked down at the gingerbread man in his hand. It only took a moment for his face to break into the biggest smile. 

“Woah!” He lifted one of the cookies and held it up to his face. “You made a gingerbread me!” You nodded, Kiro looked between me and the little gingerbread man frosted to look like him. He lowered his arm and kept his eyes on the gingerbread man. “Man I kinda feel bad eating him.” He laughed, after another moment of looking at the Kiro-cookie he grabbed his phone from his back pocket. Making sure to snap a quick photo. 

“Gotta keep the memory of little ginger-Kiro?” 

He nodded. “Of course! He looks just like me after all!” Kiro set his phone down on the table. Taking one more good look at the gingerbread cookie. “I’m sorry little me, but you just look too good.” Kiro held back a chuckle and bit off the head of the cookie. 

“Taste good?” I asked him. 

“They taste perfect.” Kiro said. “Not that I would ever expect less from you.” I rolled my eyes. Kiro took another bite. “But they are really good. I think I might just need to have a couple more.” Kiro’s hand snuck towards the plate again. 

I slid the plate to him again. “I made them for you! So have as many as you’d like.” Kiro picked up two cookies. Keeping one in his hand and giving me the other one. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at him when Kiro and I tapped our cookies together like a toast. 

“Oh, I have a gift for you too!” I sat up straight. We’d moved to the couch by this point. Kiro looked over, half a cookie still sticking out from his lips. 

“A gift?” Kiro said. His words were muffled by the cookie he was still chewing. I nodded as I got off the couch and went back to the dining table. Picking up the wrapped gift from under the small Christmas tree I walked back to the couch. Sliding under the blanket we’d thrown over our laps when we sat down. 

Kiro’s bright blue eyes were glimmering as he took the gift into his hands. I pressed my lips together, both excited and nervous. “Well?” I said poking him. “Go on you can open it!” 

He tore the wrapping paper open, pushing it away from the gift. He pulled out the sweater from the wrapping paper. His eyes were shining when he looked back at me. 

“Did you make this?” Kiro asked. I nodded, he looked back to the sweater, running his fingers over the yarn. 

I watched his face carefully as he stared at it. “What do you think? Do you like it?” 

Kiro stood up from the couch. He took off his jacket and pulled the sweater over his head. He smoothed out the sweater and looked back up at you with a huge smile. “It’s so soft.” He said. “I love it.” He said, Kiro kneeled down on the couch in front of me. He brought me into a tight hug, my face being pressed into the softness of the sweater’s shoulder. 

“I’m glad you liked it.” I said. Kiro pulled away enough to look at my face. 

“Of course I love it!” Kiro looked down at the sweater again and couldn’t get the smile 

off  his face.  “Okay, okay I have a gift for you too.” Kiro sat up straight. 

“Kiro you didn’t have to!” 

He shook his head as he got off the couch again. “I wanted to. Just wait there.” Kiro reached for his guitar case leaning against the wall by the front door. He set the case down on the floor and pulled his acoustic guitar from the case. Kiro sat down on the couch with his legs crossed. “I haven’t had a lot of time to myself while I’ve been working on this new album.” Kiro started. “But I wanted to give you something really special for Christmas, so during breaks and in between recording sessions I’ve been working on this for you.” He adjusted the guitar to sit in just the right spot. 

His fingers strummed the guitar strings. His eyes slipped closed as he played, not even feeling a need to look down at his fingers on the strings. I pulled my legs up to my chest, my head on my knees as I focused entirely on him. 

Kiro sang softer than he normally did for his performances. During those he always sang with high energy, always trying to seek the crowd's attention. Here though, his voice was gentle and warm. While he didn’t sing with the same energy, he sang with just as much passion. As he sang I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. My eyes traced the soft features of his face, the way his fingers moved across the guitar strings. 

Even without his Evol I knew I couldn’t stop watching him, I wanted to take in everything about this, I wanted to commit every second of this to memory, to replay it in my mind over and over after this moment ends. 

I hadn’t realized how breathless I was, or how tears were falling down my cheeks until Kiro played the last chord. His eyes opened slowly, he looked up expectantly wanting to see my expression. 

“What’d you think?” He asked. His face fell when he saw the tears in my eyes. “Miss Chips?” 

I took a couple shaky breaths and sniffled. “Kiro I-” I laughed trying to stop myself from getting even more emotional. “That was amazing. I-” I stopped again. Kiro put the guitar back in the case on the floor. He scooted closer and pulled me into another hug. This one tighter, warmer. 

“This is the most special song I’ve written, it’s just for you too.” Kiro said. When he loosened his grip enough I leaned back to look at his face. 

I kissed him, my hands resting on the side of his neck and his shoulder. Between kisses I whispered a “Thank you” over and over again. Kiro was smiling, his eyes glimmering like stars up close. “You know.” I whispered to him. “Being with you is the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten.” 

Kiro smiled again and laughed gently. “Aw, I’m really the best gift?” 

I nodded and kissed him again. “The very best.” I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. The soft yarn tickling my nose. My eyes were growing heavier and staying shut when I closed them.  “I’m so sorry Kiro, I think I might be all worn out.” 

Kiro hummed. “Let’s get some sleep then. You don’t want to spend Christmas morning sleepy!” I hugged him tighter. 

“But I only have tonight with you, and I don’t want to waste it sleeping.” I complained. 

“We’ll still be together! Don’t stay up on my account okay?” Kiro said. I sighed. 

“I guess you’re right.” I looked up at his face. At the dark lines under his eyes “Besides, 

you look exhausted too. We could both probably use some sleep.”  I said.

This time Kiro rested his head on my shoulder. “I guess I am kinda tired.” 

“You look more than kinda.” I said running fingers through strands of golden hair. “Let’s go to bed Kiro.” 

We stumbled our way to bed, both of us struggling to keep awake now. Kiro curled up under the covers still wearing his handmade sweater. I pulled the covers over us, with half lidded eyes Kiro reached out and took my arm. 

“C’mon, come here.” Kiro whined quietly. I lied down, resting my head on his chest. My arm laying across his stomach. I could hear his heartbeat in my ears, a nice rhythm to make me drowsier. Kiro’s arm around my shoulder and back keeping me close to him. 

“Goodnight Kiro.” I said. Hardly awake now. “I love you.” 

Kiro was also barely awake when he responded. “I love you too Miss Chips.” Kiro took a long tired breath. “Merry Christmas.” 

I managed a smile just before drifting off. “Merry Christmas Kiro.”

[rpf-bat]

To Join The Black Parade

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 11. Prompt: “Death Parade”.

You receive an unexpected phone call, from your old friend Gerard. He asks you if you’d like to play a role, in the upcoming music video, for ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’. But, when he sees you on set, something comes over him, that neither of you ever expected. 

You sat in the studio, in front of a blank canvas. You glanced up at the diploma, hanging in on the wall, in the corner. It was proof that you had graduated from SVA, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts. But, despite being certifiably good at art (on paper), you still felt like an impostor, on days like this, when you had no inspiration at all. 

Your brush hovered over the empty white space, when, suddenly, you were interrupted, by the sound of the phone ringing. As soon as you saw who was calling, your expression brightened. 

“Hi, Y/N,” greeted the familiar voice of Gerard Way. Simply hearing your old friend speak, was enough to make your spirits, instantly lift. 

“Hi, Gee,” you smiled, moving the phone closer to your ear. “How have you been?”

Even though you talked on the phone all the time, you hadn’t seen him in person, since last summer. He had briefly returned to New Jersey, to play a Warped Tour gig. You’d hung out with him afterwards, backstage. It had been so fun - and yet, so fleeting. 

“I’ve been good,” Gerard replied jovially. “I’m sorry for calling you so early, though.” 

“It’s not early,” you chuckled. “It’s like, eleven o’clock.”

“Well, here, it’s only eight,” Gerard reminded you. 

The East Coast was no longer his home base. He had moved to Los Angeles, a few years ago, when his band started to take off. This put him in the Pacific time zone, three hours behind you. 

“How’s California treating you?” you asked. “Still staying in that weird haunted house?”

“Nah, we’re done recording the album now,” Gerard updated you. “We’re actually getting ready to film the music video, that’s gonna go with the lead single.”

“Oh, cool!” you said, interested. “What’s the single’s title?”

“It’s called ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’,” Gerard revealed cryptically. 

“What’s the Black Parade?” you asked curiously. 

“I have this concept for the video - well, for the whole album, really,” Gerard explained. “This guy is like, dying of cancer, and Death comes for him, in the form of his favorite childhood memory.” 

“The memory is….a parade?” you guessed.

“That’s right!”, Gerard confirmed. “I kind of based it off, like, when my dad would take me and Mikey into the city, at Thanksgiving time, to see the Macy’s parade.” 

“Oh, of course,” you nodded. As a fellow New Jersey native, only a ferry-ride away from the Big Apple, you had grown up going to the parade every autumn, too. 

“So, this whole, like, procession of marchers, is gonna welcome The Patient into the afterlife,” Gerard went on. 

“That sounds amazing,” you said honestly. “I can’t wait to see the video, when it’s finished.”

“That’s actually what I was calling you about,” Gerard confessed slyly. “We’re gonna have a lot of extras in this video shoot. Like I said, a whole parade of people. I was wondering, if you might want to be in it?”

“You want me to be in the music video?”, you repeated, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Gerard grinned. “I just thought, it would be really nice, to see you again, and have you be a part of this whole art project with me.”

Art project. That was one way to describe it. Gerard was a big Hollywood star now, with fans all over the globe. But, he still talked about the album his band was working on, in the same way, that he used to talk to you about the comics he wanted to write. Deep down, he was still the same storyteller that you used to see in class every day.

“Gerard, I would love to,” you accepted the offer, immediately. “I’ve missed you. It’s going to be so great, to hang out again.” 

“I can’t wait,” Gerard said happily. “Don’t even worry about the airfare, I can get the label to fly you out.” 

“Thank you,” you said giddily. You couldn’t wait to see your old friend again.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

The flight to Los Angeles was long, but uneventful, and the day of the video shoot, arrived before you knew it. You gasped, when you walked in, and saw the set. There was a huge parade float, surrounded by a desolate, gray landscape. You wondered how long it had taken the set designers to put it together. You felt nervous, as you watched the other extras milling about, most of them already in costume. 

They’re real actors, you thought anxiously. I’m just some random person. 

Your nerves eased, as soon as you heard a voice behind you. 

“Y/N, you made it!” Gerard said delightedly. You turned to face him. 

“Whoa!” you gasped. “Your hair!” 

“I know, it’s a big change,” Gerard laughed, running his hand through his short-cropped, bleach-blonde locks. Last time you had seen him, his hair had been dark, and down to his shoulders. 

“What do you think?” he asked, seemingly a little self-conscious. 

“It’s very different,” you said honestly, “But, I like it. A new look, to signify a new era!” 

“Exactly,” Gerard nodded. “See, I knew you would get it….I gotta tell the guys you’re here. They’re gonna be psyched, to see you again.” 

“I’m psyched to see Mikey, and Frankie, and Toro again, too,” you grinned. They were all old friends of yours. 

“Oh, but first, I gotta introduce you to the director,” Gerard remembered. “His name’s Samuel Bayer. He’s amazing - he’s the same guy that directed the music video for ‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’, back in the day.”

“No way!” you gasped. ‘Bullet’ was your favorite Smashing Pumpkins song. 

“I know, right?” Gerard grinned. “And just last year, he did some really cool videos with Green Day, like ‘American Idiot’. I’m so happy that we were able to get him to work with us, on this video. I think it’s going to be amazing.” 

“You’re such a flatterer, Gerard,” said a dark-haired man, walking over to you. “Hi, I’m Samuel.” 

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself, shaking the director’s hand. 

“I heard you’re an SVA grad, too, right?” Samuel smiled.

“Yeah, Gerard and I both graduated in ‘99,” you nodded. “You went, there, too?”

“Yeah, I was in the class of ‘87,” Samuel explained. 

“Wow...small world.” 

“For sure,” Samuel laughed. “Anyway, Y/N, are you ready to get changed into your costume?”

“What am I going to wear?” you wondered. 

“Oh, you’re going to love it,” Gerard gushed. “We had Colleen Atwood design all the costumes for us. She’s incredible.”

“She’s the same lady, who designed the costumes for Edward Scissorhands,” Samuel added informatively.

“Whoa,” you gaped. This really was an all-star film crew. Did you really belong here? 

“Here’s your outfit,” Samuel smiled, handing you in the garment bag. “Go ahead and get changed, we’ll meet you back here in five.” 

“O-okay,” you gulped, suddenly unsure, if you could pull the role off - no matter how small it was. 

“Don’t worry,” Gerard assured you. “I know you better than anyone, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll do great.” 

“Thanks,” you said softly, calmed by his words. 

“I have to go fake-sing for the camera,” Gerard chuckled. “I’ll see you soon.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You took the garment bag into the bathroom, unzipping it, to reveal the costume inside. 

The jacket, you noticed, was black, with a marching band style collar - pretty similar to what Gerard was wearing, when you walked in. The only difference was that yours was sleeveless. Instead of pants, your jacket was paired with a black skirt. 

You hesitantly changed into the outfit. You flushed, when you looked at yourself in the mirror. The skirt was short - almost too short. 

You didn’t wear things like this very often. You constantly got paint on your clothes, so you never wanted to wear anything too fancy. It would just get ruined. Most of the time, you could be found in oversized sweaters, and ratty jeans. 

I can’t refuse to wear it, though, you told yourself. Even if it feels kind of uncomfortable….Gerard spent a lot of time and money to bring me out here. The least I can do, is play my role, without complaining. 

You walked back onto the set, your legs feeling cold and exposed. Gerard and the band had just wrapped a scene on the float, miming playing their instruments. 

“Cut!” Samuel called. “Okay, I think that was a good take!” 

Done with his part, Gerard strolled back over to you.

“.....Wow,” he gaped when he laid eyes on you, his eyes widening. 

“Wow, what?” you blinked, feeling self-conscious. 

“Wow, you look amazing,” Gerard said, blushing. “I...I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear something like this before.” 

“Oh, you think it suits me?” you asked hesitantly. You hadn’t expected this reaction. 

“Absolutely,” Gerard complimented. “Have you been...working out?”

“Oh, you mean, my legs?” you realized, blushing. “Yeah, I’ve been jogging a lot…” 

He stared at your uncovered thighs, making your cheeks turn hot. 

“Ah, there’s my Fear!” Samuel smiled, walking over to you. 

“Fear?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yes, you’ll be playing the role of Fear,” Samuel explained, “and this young lady here, will be playing Regret.”

He indicated a petite actress, whose costume was identical to yours. “Regret” gave you a friendly wave. 

“As soon as you’re done in the makeup chair, you ladies can do your scene with Lukas,” Samuel directed. 

“Who’s Lukas?” you asked. 

“Lukas Haas is playing The Patient,” Gerard explained. “He’s a great actor.”

“Oh, our main character,” you nodded. “Ok, I guess I better head over there!”

You were surprised, how Gerard’s eyes seemed to follow you, as you walked away. It was almost as if he didn’t want you to leave his side. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“Ok, we’re going to start moving the parade float forward!” Samuel announced. “Processioners, I need you to start walking forward, beside it, okay?” 

You stood in line, and at his signal, you and the rest of the ‘parade’ began to march forward, towards the camera. You tried not to glance up too obviously at Gerard, who was standing on top of the float, beside you. The guys were up there with him, in matching marching band jackets. You had to admit, it was a striking look.

Lukas stumbled towards the front of the parade, wearing his hospital gown and slippers. He looked confused, and sad - a befitting expression, for a character, who was supposed to be newly deceased. 

“Ok, cut!” Samuel called out. “Gerard, you’re going to lean over the side of the float, and put the medal on Lukas, okay?”

“Ok,” Gerard nodded, dangling a military-ish cross on a chain. “Like this?” 

“Perfect,” Samuel praised. “Now, I need my Fear and Regret, to come stand on either side of Lukas, okay?”

“R-Right,” you stammered, moving to the spot on Lukas’ right that Samuel was pointing at. 

“Now, Fear and Regret are going to kiss The Patient on the cheek,” Samuel explained. 

“They’re what?” Gerard frowned, his expression turning suddenly sour. 

“It’s in the script,” Samuel reminded him. 

“Just on the cheek?” you clarified. 

“Yeah,” Regret confirmed. “You do one, and I’ll lean in, and do the other, at the same time.”

“Oh, okay,” you shrugged. “I can do that.” 

Sure, it felt a little awkward, since you’d just met Lukas twenty minutes ago. But, at least it wasn’t on the mouth, or anything. 

Samuel signaled for the camera man to start filming again, and you leaned over, in sync with Regret, and planted a peck on the actor’s face.

“Cut!” Samuel shouted. “Ladies, I’m sorry, I need you to do that again.”

“Why?!” Gerard demanded. “I thought that take was fine.”

“Because you were making a face in the background,” Samuel groaned.

“N-No I wasn’t!” Gerard denied, blushing. 

“You were,” Samuel insisted. “You’re supposed to have a neutral expression, and be looking at the camera. But, you were looking down at them instead.” 

“You were pouting, dude,” Frank teased. “Come on, let’s try it again.” 

You repeated the take, leaning over, and kissing Lukas’ cheek again. 

“Cut!” Samuel called again, looking frustrated. “Gerard, the rest of the band was looking at the camera just fine. You’re still staring downwards, with that surly expression.”

“I’m not surly,” Geraed argued. “I was making a totally normal face.”

“No, he’s right,” Mikey shook his head. “You weren’t looking, where you were supposed to look at all.” 

“Let’s give it one more try,” Gerard sighed. “I promise, I’ll get it right this time.” 

I hope so, you thought with a frown. How many times, am I going to have to put my lips on this guy’s face today?

“You know what,” Samuel shrugged, “why don’t we just take a break for lunch, and try again in thirty?”

This was fine with you - you were already bored, with the repetition. You wished you knew what was throwing Gerard off. 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You found Gerard by the craft services table, listlessly eating a handful of Cheetos.

“Are you okay?” you asked him softly, as you filled your own plate with snacks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gerard insisted. “Don’t worry about me.”

“What is it that you’re having trouble with?” you wondered. “I mean, all you’re doing in that scene, is standing still up there, right?”

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be this hard,” Gerard frowned. “I don’t know….something about watching you plant one on Lukas, is just getting on my nerves.” 

“Why’s that?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I….I don’t know,” Gerard blushed. “I just don’t want you touching him, for some reason.” 

“You’re the one, who called me, and asked me to play this specific role,” you reminded him. 

“I know I did,” Gerard acknowledged. “I just….I didn’t think it would bother me this much.”

“Why does it bother you?” you asked. “Like, what is it that goes through your head, when you see me do that?” 

“I guess I feel…..jealous,” Gerard admitted shyly, dropping his voice, so only you would hear. 

“.....Jealous?” you repeated, heart pounding. What was he saying?

Gerard’s whole face turned red, and he stared downwards, suddenly very interested in his shoes.

“....Gee,” you whispered, touching his arm. “Look at me...are you telling me, that you wish, I was kissing your cheek, instead?” 

You two had been friends for almost a decade now, but he had never made a move on you, or given you any indication that he desired anything more, than a platonic relationship. But….the truth was, you’d always found him incredibly handsome.

Gerard’s hazel eyes glanced up, hesitantly meeting yours. 

“As soon as I saw you walk out here, in that skirt,” Gerard confessed, his voice soft and husky, “I wanted to kiss you, on far more, than just your cheeks.” 

“....You want to kiss me on the mouth?” you realized, your face and body going suddenly so hot.

“God help me, I do,” Gerard breathed. 

“.....Do it,” you said breathlessly. Secretly, you’d wanted this, for years. 

“But, there’s people all around us!” Gerard said shyly. 

You looked up, and saw that he was right. Actors and actresses were starting to form a line around the table, eager to grab food to snack on. 

“.....Come with me,” you said impulsively, and dragged him by the arm, into the powder room, where you’d gotten changed earlier. 

“Y-Y/N, what are you doing?” Gerard stammered. “This is the girls’ room…..I’m not supposed to be in here….I don’t want to get caught….” 

“Then be real quiet, then,” you shushed him, and pulled him in for a searing kiss. 

His shyness seemed to melt away, as his lips crashed into yours. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tighter, as the kiss deepened. 

“....Gee!” you gasped, coming up for air. You never saw this coming from him. 

“Y/N, I want to make you mine,” Gerard panted, eager to taste your lips again. “Mine, and mine alone.” 

You kissed him again. Your hands twisted into his newly short hair. You’d wanted this forever, but you never expected it to actually happen. He tasted so sweet, and his touch was so startlingly possessive. 

“Honey,” you purred, grabbing him by his jacket collar, “I’m already yours.”

[blu-joons]

BTS Reaction: You Win An Award At An Awards Ceremony

Jin:

Everything around you stood still as your name was called out, you froze in complete disbelief. “Jagi, you did it. Come on.”

Quickly, you felt Jin’s arms wrap around you. “I did it! I won! I can’t believe I actually won the award.”

“I’m so proud of you, quick, you need to get on the stage.”

“Let go of me then,” you chuckled, pressing a light kiss to his cheek. “Jin.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just proud.” He smiled, tightening his grip around you, not letting you go.

The music began in the arena making sure that you set off. Finally, Jin let go of you, adjusting your hair and outfit from where he’d messed it up.

“Go and get your award, you deserve it,” he smiled, letting go of your hand. “Smile and enjoy the moment, it’s yours. You’ve earned it.”

“I will! Thank you!”

Yoongi:

The spotlight came down on you as you stepped forwards after being handed your award, looking out to all the people who stared back at you.

You were still at a loss for words, completely stunned. “I never really know what to say in moments like this, aside from thank you.”

“Thank you to everyone who played a part in the music video.”

“And the fans,” you smiled as the volume increased. “You guys all rule.”

“Yoongi!”

“What about Yoongi?”

“Give me chance.” You chuckled, “I’m getting to him, don’t worry,” you spoke as the fans cheered.

You looked down as he proudly watched on, his gummy smile was clear to see, his hands clasped together, cheering you on.

“And of course, I want to thank Yoongi. He’s been there through it all, from the very beginning. This wouldn’t be possible without you. I love you.”

“I love you too!”

Hoseok:

You were walked back to the arena after coming off stage, instantly greeted by open arms, ready to engulf you. “I am so proud.”

Hobi’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you into the tightest of hugs. “I’m honestly in disbelief, I never thought I would win the award.”

“I did, you were always number one in my eyes.”

“Stop it,” you blushed, looking down at the trophy, “this doesn’t even feel real to me right now.”

“It is.”

“I know.”

“Seeing you on stage made me burst with pride,” he complimented, “right where you belong.”

Soon after, six other pairs of arms wrapped around you, all congratulating you on your success and everything that you had achieved.

“This award is a culmination of everything you’ve worked towards. I hope you know just how deserving of this you really are. It’s all yours to celebrate.”

“You’re the best, thank you.”

Namjoon:

Everyone was on tenterhooks, as the nominees were read out. “BTS!” The voiceover spoke, as a montage played. “Y/N,” it then spoke, as your own montage played.

You looked to Namjoon who smiled softly at you. “Whoever wins, it doesn’t matter, or if none of us win, we’re still winners.”

“I agree. I’m winning every day.”

“Oh, be quiet,” he blushed, “I’m always the lucky one in this relationship.”

“I think not.”

“I think so.”

“Just hush, they’re about to announce the winner, we need to pay attention,” you scolded.

The camera fell back on the announcer, who tore the envelope. Namjoon’s hand rested on your thigh as yours came down to rest over it.

“Best of luck to all the nominees,” they smiled, taking a moment to pause, “and the winner is…Y/N! Congratulations.”

“Well done jagi, I knew you could do it.”

Jimin:

Tears streamed down your eyes as you were read out as the winner of the award, falling sideways into Jimin’s chest. “I did it.”

His lips pressed to the top of your head, “you did it. You earnt this. I am so bloody proud of you jagi, so proud.”

“What do I do? I’ve never won anything before.”

“Go up on the stage,” he chuckled, “right where you belong, on top of the world.”

“Will you come?”

“No way.”

“Jimin, I don’t want all these people looking at me,” you giggled, getting flustered.

“Stop, this is your moment. Take a deep breath and own it. I am proud of you, and I’ll be right here cheering you on.”

You did as he said, taking a deep breath in and out, composing yourself. The whole world was watching, and you couldn’t let yourself down now.

“Own it. I love you.”

Taehyung:

Your face flashed up on the giant monitors as the montage of nominees played. “Go Y/N!” Taehyung applauded from beside you.

You chuckled, jabbing his arm with your hand. “Stop doing that,” you smiled, “you’re so embarrassing sometimes, honestly.”

“I’m your biggest fan. I don’t care what people think.”

“You’re crazy,” you teased, “I don’t want you to hype me up too much. What if I lose?”

“You won’t.”

“It is a possibility Tae.”

“We’re not even going to think like that, no one else compares to you,” he smiled.

His words were calming, but your heart was still pounding. It was a moment you’d dreamt of for so long, and now it was real.

“Whatever happens, I’m proud of you. I will always be here to cheer you on, just like tonight, chanting your name and singing your songs.”

“Fingers crossed for the win.”

Jungkook:

You were shaking as your category was read out for the next award of the evening, filled with nerves with what was to come. “Kook, I’m scared.”

He glanced across at you, “why? There’s nothing to be scared of, you’ve earnt this nomination, and I’m sure you’ll win it.”

“What if I don’t? I don’t want to let you down or anything.”

“What makes you think you’re going to let me down?” He asked.

“I don’t want to fail.”

“You’re not.”

“But you win so many awards, I don’t want to lose,” you sighed, resting on his shoulder.

He knew how you felt, the first time BTS were nominated, he was a mess. He didn’t know what to do, or how to react.

“You never let me down, I am so in awe of you every single day. There is nothing to be scared or nervous about. I’ve got a feeling tonight might just be your night.”

“I hope so.”

---

Masterlist

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part Sixxty Seven/

Word Count: 8K

A/N: it has to get worse before it can get better. Two part chapter, almost done with the second part and I’ll have it out later this week. I’m pairing ‘Someone You Loved’ from the playlist

Warnings: Drugs, Language, Angst, Nikki being a fucking asshole

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx , @aryssav , @miserablecunt  @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol ,  @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, , @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer@electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe@kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe,  @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx, @m0rnlngstar, @cranberrirolls, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess​

*flashback, Nikki’s POV*

-August 1990-

I shook my head, groaning as I pushed through the outside doors and took a deep breath in as I exhaled. Tommy and Vince had dragged me out to a bar while we were home on break. The two left me as they went to sit with some girls who were all over them. I sat down near a fire pit and kicked my boots up on the concrete as I lit a cigarette. I much rather be at home with Van. But, she told me to go out and try to have fun.

I heard a click of pointy heels, “You mind if I sit here?” I looked over at a short woman wearing a little tight black dress as she had a polite smile on her face.

“Go ahead.” I motioned to the chair and scooted over a bit to give her more room to sit down. I exhaled cigarette smoke and listened to the music. Thank god it wasn’t Mötley.

“So, what are you doing in this dump?” The woman asked as I looked over and saw her stick a cigarette between her lips and light it.

I shrugged, “Just out with the guys. But they’re in there and I’m out here.” I took a sip of my water, “You?”

She had a cute little smile, “With some girlfriends of mine. I’m Brandi.” She stuck out her French manicured hand as I gently took it in mine and shook it.

”Nikki.” I let go of her hand, “Can I get you a drink?” I asked, pointing to her empty glass. She handed it over to me, “Malibu sunrise, you look familiar Nikki.”

I let out a laugh, “I get that a lot.” I stopped a passing by cocktail waitress and ordered Brandi her drink, “Can’t say I’ve seen you before. I’m sure I would’ve remembered you.” I looked away from her for a moment, taking a long sip. I shouldn’t of said that.

“Really? I’ve been in a few magazines and a few music videos.” She explained as I nodded.

“I don’t pay much attention to the pop culture shit unless it involves me or my band.”

Brandi laughed as she crossed her leg over her knee and pushed her hair out of her eyes, “The Cure? I’m a Playboy and was also in Aerosmith’s ‘Love In An Elevator’ music video.”

I chuckled, “Change the spelling a bit and you’ll get the Crüe.” I smiled, seeing the cocktail waitress come back over as I paid her and handed Brandi her drink, “Oh? Love Aerosmith but I must’ve missed the video, and probably the last few editions of Playboy.”

“Ah, Mötley Crüe. That’s right.” She chewed on her bottom lip, “You have a girl waiting at home for you? That’s such a shame.”

I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat, “Yeah, I have a fiancé at home, but I don’t think it’s a shame.”

“Oh? So you’re really serious then?” She questioned, I answered with a nod. I watched as she sighed through her purse before pulling out a small baggie of white powder. She raises an eyebrow, “You wanna?”

I looked at the bag she was extending out to me in her palm. I pushed her hand back to her, “I’m sober. Just got out of rehab a while ago.”

Brandi shrugged, “More for me. Rehab? How lame.” She spoke before dipping her nail into the bag and snorting it off.

I exhaled deeply and looked towards the fire, “I’d rather not be blitzed out of my mind. It’s better for everyone around me.”

Brandi wiped her nose, looking at me with her head tilted to the side, “So, you don’t do blow and you have fiancé? So interesting.” She leaned forward, her push up bra was doing its job clearly.

I can look, but I can’t touch.

My eyes glanced down at her tits for a moment before looking back at her, “And you pose for Playboy and also use the famed coke diet. Is that how all of you stay skinny?”

Brandi laughed, “You’re so funny, Nikki.” I chuckled a bit as she scooted closer to me. She reached out and touched my arm, her finger tracing the skull on my forearm, “I love tattoos. I have a few but you can only see them when I’m naked.”

I let out an amused grunt, pulling my arm away from her, “Is that what you say to every guy?”

She smiled, her doe like eyes staring into mine. They were almost golden with the help of the flames in front of us. They weren’t a natural gold like Vans. But damn, they were still pretty.

“No, that’s the first time I’ve ever used it. Did it work?” She questioned, her nails now cascading up and down my skin.

“Maybe if I wasn’t getting married soon and was single it would. Then I could see what’s under that dress of yours.” I licked my lips as her hand ran over my mine.

“Who says you can’t play around? I don’t see a ring on your finger.” She smiled, giving my hand a light squeeze.

I studied her. I’m Nikki Fucking Sixx. I can get anyone to drop to their knees for me. I’ve done horrible, disgusting, vile things to chicks all because they asked me too. Because I pulled them from the crowd and they said they’d do anything for me. Chicks would let me do whatever the hell I wanted, fucking them with a liquor bottle, passing them around to Tommy and Vince and then back to me. Shit, they still wanted to fuck me even when I hadn’t showered in weeks. All because my name is Nikki Sixx. And now what? I was about to end my reign of being the king of sleaze to settle down and have a forever with Vanity.

Maybe I could be that Nikki Sixx one last time for a final hoorah.

I ran my hand up her inner thigh, stopping at the bottom hem of the silky black dress, “True, I don’t have a ring.”

“Yo Sixx!” I quickly jumped out of the chair to face Tommy. He glanced at me, raising an eyebrow before shaking his head in disapproval, “Sorry to interrupt but Vince and Mick are ready to go.”

I cleared my throat, trying to shake off my nerves as I looked at Brandi, “Oh, uh okay. Well umm it was nice meeting you Brandi.”

“Brandi Brandt? The Playboy model? I’ve seen your stuff and you are fuckin hot!” Tommy chimed as Brandi giggled and nodded.

She stood up, placing her hands on my chest as she reached up and gave me a kiss on the cheek, “Hope to see you again rockstar.”

I smiled at her, watching her turn to leave and head back inside the bar. It wasn’t a bad sight.

“Ow! What the fuck?” I groaned, holding my stomach as a tommy had hit me pretty hard

“Uh? You need something to wipe up that drool? Maybe wipe that lipstick off too before you go home to your fiancé?” I glared at him when he emphasized fiancé.

I rolled my eyes, “I wasn’t going to do shit, T-bone.” I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand, seeing bubblegum pink lipstick on my skin.

“Hey man-“ Tommy puts his hands up in defense, “That’s your death wish and funeral.”

Anarchy greeted me at the front door as I walked in and locked it back up, “Hey sweet girl.” I patted the top of her head, dropping my car keys in the bowl on the entry way table. I walked up the stairs slowly, hearing the TV at a low volume coming from our bedroom. I walked in, seeing Vanity sleeping on top of the blankets in the middle of our bed with the side lamp still on.

I sighed, why was I fucking flirting with her? I shook off my thoughts before kicking off my boots and getting undressed. I crawled onto the bed, gently moving her over and carefully pulling the blankets down so I wouldn’t wake her. I got in bed beside her, throwing the blankets over us as I slung my arm over her waist and pulled her to me.

I felt so god damn fucking guilty, even if I technically didn’t do anything but technically I did do something if I felt guilty about it. I closed my eyes and kissed the back of Vanity’s head as I breathed in the smell of her coconut shampoo, her hair was still a tad bit damp.

Vanity turned in my arms as she nuzzled her face into my bare chest, “How was the bar?” She mumbled before I kissed the top of her head.

“Not fun with you here at home being sick. How are you feeling?” I questioned as I softly ran my hand up and down her back.

She sighed as I felt her lips press a gentle kiss to my chest, “I feel like I’m drunk and on a boat in the middle of the ocean and my head is throbbing. I also feel so damn tired but I’ve slept all day.”

I kissed her forehead, “Maybe you should go to the doctors, get some medicine or something.” I whispered as I felt Anarchy hop onto the bed and lay by my legs.

“I have an appointment next week. I’ll just go then. I’ll be fine. Just hold me.” Vanity whispered, as she tilted her head up and placed her lips on mine before laying back down.

*a few days later*

I stood in line at a pastry shop, waiting to get a box of frosted pink donuts with rainbow sprinkles Vanity had been complaining about wanting. So while she was out at a doctors appointment and getting her nails done afterwards I thought I’d pick some up on my way home. I had gotten out of the studio with the boys a little earlier then expected and had the whole day left. I thought maybe when Van gets home we could go to her favorite restaurant for dinner.

“I guess we meet again.” I heard a women’s voice plus fingers tapping at my shoulder. My eyes went wide as Brandi stood in front of me. My eyes going even wider at that diamond necklace laying between her tits.

“You found me pretty quick.” I chuckled as she stepped a bit closer to me to let someone pass her by.

“Maybe it’s meant to me.” Brandi smiled, “out running errands?” She questioned as I nodded, “Something like that, just picking up some donuts. What about you?”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder as she looked up at me, “Just finished up a photoshoot so I was just stopping to get some coffee.” I noticed her eyes wander over me, “With arms and legs like yours, I wouldn’t think you’d be getting junk food.”

I laughed, “No, my fiancé is having like weird period cravings or whatever. She’s been wanting them since the other night.”

Brandi nodded, “Did you maybe want to grab a bite to eat?” I stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell to say. I mean, I was hungry.

“I could grab a bite-“ I looked down at my watch, “She won’t be home for a while anyways.”

Brandi tilted her head to the side, “Are you inviting me over to your house?” I watched as her fingers played with necklace between her tits, “For someone who has a fiancé she sure isn’t around a lot.” Brandi laughed a bit, raising an eyebrow as i looked up at her.

“My girls been sick. And she’s dramatic so I’ve been stuck taking care of her.” I explained, for what reason I don’t know.

“Oh that’s too bad. Seems to me like having a fiancé has turned you soft.” Brandi retorted as I shook my head, rolling my eyes as I stepped up to the counter and ordered a half dozen donuts for Van.

I paid and turned back around, “Soft? Hardly. I’m not soft. Just being a good husband.” I explained to Brandi as she stepped out of line and followed me.

“A rockstar who went to rehab, got sober, sips on sparkling water with lemon wedges at bars he probably use to cause chaos at and gets his fiancé her period cravings food. That’s soft.” Brandi laughed, “You’re not a husband, not yet anyways.”

I glared at her, “So fucking what? Look, if you knew me you’d know I haven’t gone soft. I’m still that hard rocking guy.”

Brandi took a step towards me again, closing the gap between us as the breath in my throat got stuck, “Maybe you need a little fun. More excitement then a boring little fiancé.”

I chuckled, “And you’re suppose to be exciting? My girls the life of the party even when she’s sound asleep and snoring. Thanks for the offer, but I gotta go.”

Brandi reached for my wrist to stop me from leaving, “I’ve heard stories about you. I can’t believe they aren’t true.”

I stared her down, “All of them are true. Every single last one of them.”

“Then prove it.”

Ego was one hell of a killer.

*end flashback*

“...I’m sorry it’s late doll. Today was busy with lawyers and being at the studio. Ari’s sleeping, huh?” I swooned over Nikki’s voice as I sat on the fire escape smoking a cigarette and listening to the bustling streets below.

“Yeah she’s sleeping, we have a day trip planned with Clementine to go to the beach tomorrow. You should see how excited she is, she’s never been. I could hardly get her to lay down.”

He lightly chuckled, “Take pictures for me so I can see them when I get back to you two. Fuck, I miss you so much Vanity. You have no idea.”

I smiled and exhaled some smoke, “I miss you too, Sixx. Do you know how long you’ll be gone? Tommy will be out here in a few days..”

“She’s in the process of getting her stuff out of the house but we do that stupid photoshoot early next week. Huh, I saw Tommy today and he didn’t mention anything about going to visit Clementine.”

“Because you’re a dick to her and maybe he knows you’ll catch an attitude about him coming out here.” I explained to Nikki as he let out a light laugh.

“I’d only catch an attitude because he gets to see you and Ari, not because of Clem, I couldn’t give two fucks about her.” Nikki said in a matter of fact type tone.

“Well, I tried convincing you to stay. Would seeing my tits have worked?” I questioned Nikki, hearing him choke on whatever he was drinking.

“Seeing them, maybe playing with them. That might of worked but maybe I would’ve needed a little bit more than playing with your tits.”

I smirked, “oh yeah? Like what?”

Nikki’s voice had a gruff tone to it, “How about I just show you when I’m there? We’ll call it a mommy and daddy play date.”

I took another drag before putting the cigarette out, “Okay rockstar, I’ll be waiting for that but I should get to bed it’s late here...you’ll call tomorrow?”

“Oh right, time differences. Yes babe, I’ll call you tomorrow. I’ll try to call during the day so I can talk to Ari. Tell her I love her when she wakes up. I love you Van.”

“I love you too Nikki. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams, princess.”

*a month later*

I was currently sitting in a small circle surrounded by tiny little humans for Arianna’s kindergarten show and tell activity.

“This is my frog, his name is Benny and he does really cool tricks.” I watched as Issac, one of Arianna’s class mates wound up a toy frog and it started hopping around in front of us.

“Baby, maybe you should’ve picked something else.” I quietly told Arianna as she was sitting right next to me.

“No! Daddy said I could.” She argued back as I sighed, nodding as I kissed the top of her head.

“Okay Issac, can you put that away for me now? It’s Arianna’s turn.” Miss Jackie, the kindergarten teacher spoke softly as Issac put away his toy.

“Arianna, would you like to show us what you brought?” I sighed and got off the floor before going to the back of the classroom. Now, I tried telling Arianna maybe you should bring a cool toy or one of the shells you got from the beach this past summer, but no that wasn’t good enough. So, like any other kid would, when one parent says no they go to the next. Nikki had called a week ago and Arianna told him all about show and tell and how she had to bring something cool , so she asked Nikki if she could have one of his basses. Nikki, being the person he is, had one of his basses sent to the house with express shipping.

I took the bass out of its case that was littered with stickers, very inappropriate stickers and brought it over to Arianna as she sat down in the chair with the kids in front of her.

“Well, uh Arianna...what did you bring?” Miss Jackie took off her glasses and stared at her with a confused smile on her face.

“This is my daddy’s guitar- I mean bass?” Arianna looked up at me as I nodded, “And he plays music and he has a lot of friends that take pictures with him and his brothers play with him too!”

All the kids oh’d and aw’d, “Can we play with it?” Riley, another classmate asked.

“Yes you can.” Arianna said but I laughed, “No, these aren’t toys. These are really important to Arianna’s dad and I don’t think he’d want little sticky fingers on it.”

“For the next show and tell I’m gonna bring my dad!” Arianna exclaimed as I tried forcing a smile, “And, and maybe he can play it! And maybe uncle Tommy can come too!”

“Arianna, inside voice.” I brought my finger to my lip as she giggled.

“My dad is in ‘fornia right now doing businesses but he’ll be back. He promised.” Arianna put our dirty laundry out in the air as I saw Miss Jackie raise an eyebrow.

“Okay, I think that’s enough show and tell.” I muttered as I took the bass in my hand and brought it back over to the case. I laid it inside before closing the lid, letting my hand glide over the spray painted ‘SIXX’.

Nikki called a week ago. And he hasn’t called back since.

*Two weeks later, Vanity’s POV*

‘It’s Nikki! Leave a message and I’ll get back to you soon’

“Hey Nikki. It’s Van, just calling to see how things are going. Haven’t heard from you in a while...I know you’re busy.” I chewed on my bottom lip as I glanced over at Ari, feeling tears form but I shook it off, “Uh anyways um, just call whenever you have a moment. We miss you.”

I hung up the phone, wiping my eyes with my sleeve, “No answer?” I turned around to see Clementine standing in the hallway.

“He’s just...he’s busy.” I explained, trying to make myself believe it as well.

“Too busy? Vanity, he hasn’t called in three weeks. Nobody is ever that busy to even pick up the damn phone and call to talk to his own daughter.” Clementine berated as I nodded.

“I know! I know! Nikki will call. He promised he’d call.” I told Clementine, her lips parted to say something but she opted to stay quiet.

“He promised he would call.” I repeated, exhaling deeply. I watched Arianna as she was laughing at the TV. Nikki has to call. He has to come back.

“Does Nikki keep his promises?”

I turned my attention to her, trying to come up with something to say but by my lack of response was a dead giveaway. Clementine sighed as she reached across and touched my arm, “He’ll call.”

*a few days later*

“Mommy, I’m gonna be the coolest kid when I go back to school Monday!” I smiled at Arianna as she was perched up on the counter and I sat below her, painting her toes and fingers a sparkly neon green.

“Baby, you’re already the coolest kid.” I assured as I tickled the bottom of her foot. I continued painting her nails, blowing on them to dry faster because she was getting antsy to move and run around.

“Such a shame about Kurt. I actually really liked Nirvana.” I glanced over, seeing Clementine reading a rock magazine and sipping on a cup of tea at the table.

“Me too, he was way to young but junk will do that to you. It just eats you up and tears you apart. It hard to get off of, I mean, I watched how hard it was for Sixx. He’d attempt to and then something would happen or he’d hang out with the wrong person and he’d slip again.” I explained to Clementine as she nodded and continued flipping through the pages.

“Oh what the hell.” I heard Clementine whisper as I turned back around.

“What? What is it? Something happen too Robert Smith?” I chuckled before I went back to finishing Arianna’s fingers, “Almost done babe. You’ve been good for me.” I smiled as she reached down and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Have you by chance talked to…uh you know who?” I exhaled deeply, “No, it’s just going ringing for days on end before going to voicemail.” I admitted defeatedly.

“I miss daddy.” I looked at Arianna, seeing the pout on her expression as I kissed her forehead, “I know angel. He’s just working and he’s really, really busy…daddy will call.” I tried coaxing her but she was having none of it.

“Why did daddy have to leave? I didn’t want him to go.” She asked as I stared at her, trying to come up with something to say.

“He had to go do some things with T-bone, you know for the music and what not. Daddy said he’d be back in a few weeks, okay?” I tried soothing her, seeing Arianna’s cheeks turn a bit red as tears eventually started coming uncontrollably.

“Why did we have to go!!” Arianna yelled, crying as she pushed my hand away from hers, “I want Daddy!” She cried harder as I scooped her up into my arms, her tiny ones wrapping around my neck tightly.

I kissed the side of her head, my eyes meeting Clementine as I tried calming Arianna down, “Ari…baby, please don’t cry. It’s okay.” I spoke softly, almost in a hush tone as I ran my hand up and down her back, “It’s okay princess. I know, I know you want daddy back here. I do too but we gotta be big girls and stay calm okay?”

I held her in my arms as she buried her face into my neck and shoulder, clinging to me for dear life, “It’s okay baby. I promise it’s gonna be okay.” I whispered into her ear as I felt her sniffles.

Clementine slid the magazine over to me as I glanced down at it. I felt a lump form the back of my throat followed by a ball of hot, blazing anger deep within my gut as I stared down at the nude photos of Nikki and Brandi. I flipped through the pages, seeing more pictures, “The love of my life…” I read a snippet of an article that was quoted from Nikki. I tried blinking back stinging tears as I adjusted Arianna on my hip so she wouldn’t be able to see.

“No wonder he hasn’t called.” I mumbled to Clementine as I looked at the pictures. Brandi was in his lap, white sheets barely hanging around their waists. Her hand was over his mouth and by the look in his eyes, he was smiling and seemed to be enjoying it. I closed the magazine and shook my head in frustrations, “He’s happy to be with her again.”

I exhaled deeply and hugged Arianna, “How about you take a nap and then we can go get some pizza later? Maybe go to blockbuster and get some movies?” I kissed the side of her cheek as she gave me a weak nod. I walked her to bedroom, pulling her blanket back and laying her down, “I love you. So much.”

I left her room, walking back to the table seeing Clementine glaring at the magazine as she read it. I snatched it from her hands as she stared at me. I flipped through the pages a second time seeing their stupid smiles and their stupid wedding rings and all their stupidity.

“Van…” Clementine treaded the waters carefully as I attempted to hold back tears, “Vanity…” I shook my head, stepping away from her as she tried reaching out for me.

“That fucking…” I cried, closing the magazine before ripping it in half and then ripping it again before I threw it in the trash.

“Why does he fucking do this to me?!” I yelped, holding my face in my hands as I sobbed. Clementine wrapped her arms around me as I fell into her embrace, “Why can’t I just be enough for him?!”

“He’s an asshole Vanity. He’s thinking with his dick and not with his head clearly.”

“He said it was gonna be a photoshoot! Not soft fucking porn!” I yelled, swiping a cup of juice off the counter before I crumbled against it, resting elbows on the tile as my hands held my head, “I’m a fucking idiot.” I muttered under my breath, staring down at the droplets that hit the counter.

“What am I suppose to do Clementine? He was here and now he’s not and he’s probably not coming back and Arianna’s crying over him. What do I do?” I cried, wiping my eyes as I sucked in a deep breath of air.

Clementine stayed quiet as her hand ran over my back, “He’ll come back. He’ll have hell to pay when he does but Nikki will come back. Even if myself or Tommy drag him out here. I’m so sorry Vanity.” I shook my head, chewing on my bottom lip as I leaned against her shoulder as I stared at his bass I had hung on the wall because Arianna wanted it displayed for everyone to see.

“I’m so sorry he does these things to you.”

*A week later, Tommy’s POV*

I rolled my eyes, watching Brandi march herself out the front doors, “Wanna beer?” I turned my attention to Nikki, the stupid arrogant grin on his face as he handed over a Heineken. I nodded, taking it from his grasp as I plopped down onto the uncomfortable couch and stared at Nikki as he sat down and kicked his feet up on the coffee table, “So have you called Vanity?”

He stared at me, mid sip as he put the bottle down, “Uh been busy man. She knows that, I’ll call tomorrow..”

Maybe it wasn’t any of my business to ask, but shit, when Clem calls me telling Vanity is crying over Nikki and Arianna is doing the same, it strikes a fucking chord within me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, “Really? Busy? Huh-“ I chuckled a bit before taking a sip, “Or are you just fucking playing strings on her heart again? I know you have a thing for doing that to Van.”

Nikki stared at me in disbelief, “T, it’s not like that at all. I’m-I’m not doing this shit for fun!”

An eyebrow arched, “Oh really? So Arianna is asking for you for no god damn reason when I call Clementine and she’s with them? And Vanity is on the verge of having, yet again, another broken heart over you? Tell me what it’s like then Nikki.”

“I-I don’t know man. There’s just a lot going on right now. Plus, Clementine is probably being dramatic about it all.” Nikki shook it off as he took a long sip off the bottle.

“A lot going on? Nikki! We aren’t fuckin making music! You have nothing going on! Nothing is stopping you from picking up the phone and talking to your daughter!”

Nikki shook his head, looking down into his bottle, “Tommy, I just can’t talk to Van right now, alright? Brandi would freak out and I don’t want to hear it.” He breathed deeply, running a hand through his hair to push it away, “Vanity is fine. She’s a tough girl and I’m sure she understands and is telling Arianna something she’d understand too.”

I was getting more and more pissed off, “And I thought you two were divorced?” I slammed the bottle down on the table, making Anarchy jump up in alert as she sat by Nikki’s feet, “Are you seriously doing this to her?! Again, Nikki?! And to fucking make promises to a kid?! They never forget shit, Sixx! What the fuck happened?! You were so happy to find her and you just toss her to the fucking side again?!”

In a hushed tone, “We pulled the papers…”

I closed my eyes, actual anger burning through me, “You did what?! Are you fucking stupid!?”

Nikki winced at my yelling, it was rare for me to get like this, “I-I don’t know!! She came at me with both blow and a blow job and I withdrew the divorce papers and now I’m fucking stuck! I don’t know how to get out of it! Trust me T-bone, I feel like shit! I listen to Vanity’s voicemails and I just hear how fucking hard she’s trying to keep it together but I don’t even know what to fuckin say to her, man! I don’t!”

“Oh, so sucking your cock and giving you something to plug your nose up just gets your forgiveness automatically.” I shook my head, “You’re a fucking piece of shit. Just like your father!”

I saw the guilt, pain and sadness rush over his face and through his body, “Tommy, I-“

“And you don’t know what to do? Fucking get those papers signed, Nikki! Jesus Christ, what’s the matter with you?!”

“Vanity is going to hate me-“ I quickly cut him off, “No! She’s going to hate you for doing this to Arianna! She’s been through this enough times with you to know how it goes! But That child doesn’t deserve this and you don’t deserve her if this is how you’re gonna be!”

“I’ll…I’ll call her.”

“I’m serious Nikki, Arianna did nothing to deserve this! Should I tell Vanity what’s actually going on? Cause I’ll be out there this weekend.”

His eyes widen, “No! Do not fucking tell her!!”

I smirked, “How about ‘Oh sorry Nikki’s dick and a few lines of blow are more important then you and Arianna! He still loves you, though’. I think she would really like that one.”

Nikki shook his head, “I do love her! Brandi’s just…shes fucking manipulative man. I don’t know how to get rid of her she’s like a fucking bug that won’t fuckin die after I stomp my boot on it.”

I smirked, staring him right in the eye, “I didn’t know someone could hold Nikki Sixx by the balls.”

Sixx narrowed his eyes at me, “Shut up Tommy! She doesn’t-“

“Bet you even had to ask her if I could come over? Does she keep them in her purse too?”

Nikki kicked over the coffee table, balling his fists as he stood in front of me, “Shut the fuck up! I’ll call! I’ll call and I will deal with it and explain what’s going on myself! Just back off Tommy!”

*a few days later, Vanity’s POV*

‘Vanity, just please, please listen to me. I know you’re probably upset and pissed off and you more than likely can’t stand the thought of me. I am so fucking sorry for disappearing on you and Arianna. Brandi and I…we…we attempted to work things out and I-‘

Message Deleted

I stared at the answering machine, chest heaving up and down, hot and heavy tears already falling down reddened cheeks. I quickly swiped everything off the side table, sending a glass vase, the answering machine and papers flying “Bastard.” I sobbed quietly, running my hands through my hair, “Fucking bastard.”

I stomped over to the fridge, slamming open the door as I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and downed as much as my throat would allow me to do so. I closed my eyes, clutching the bottle to my chest as I leaned my forehead against the upper door. How could Nikki do this to me? Why is it so fucking easy for him to hurt me? Am I just a fun little toy he likes to play with when he’s bored? Because that’s what I feel like.

I put the bottle away when the front door opened, Tommy and Clementine offered to take Arianna to the zoo today so I could have some alone time, “Mommy! Look!” I turned to see Arianna who was not only holding up a penguin plush toy but had a flamingo shaped balloon animal hat around her head.

“Wow! That’s so cool Ari! Did you have fun?” I picked her up when she came over for a hug, “Was she good for you two?”

Clementine nodded as she put her jacket and purse down, “Yes, but she did have a minor freak out over a lions roar, other than that she had a lot of fun. She even got to feed a giraffe.”

“Rockstar perks.” Tommy added with a light laugh.

Arianna walked over to the living room, putting her new stuffed animal away in her toy bin while turning on the tv, “What did you do today?” Clementine questioned as I looked at her.

“Oh uh…took the car to get cleaned, window shopped and got my nails done.” I explained, showing off the pastel pink paint job to Clem.

“Did daddy call?” I looked down at Arianna as her eyes were full of hope, “No baby. I’m sorry.”

I was waiting for her to start crying, as that has been the usual whenever I tell her no to that certain question, but she didn’t. Instead she stared at us for a few more seconds before going back to the couch and watching cartoons.

“Nikki called.” I whispered to both of them as their eyes went wide, “Really? That’s good! I told him he-“

“He left a voicemail with a half assed apology and telling me him and Brandi are trying to fix things so I deleted it and kinda exploded…” I motioned over to the mess I had created.

I shook my head, “Anyways, can you guys hang out with her for a little while longer?”

Clementine looked at Tommy who shrugged in return, “Uh sure? Are you going somewhere?”

I grabbed my jacket, “Oh uh yeah! I ordered pizza from Uh that one joint? Antonio’s? And I forgot they don’t deliver so I was gonna go pick it up.” I explained, slipping on my shoes as I grabbed my wallet and car keys.

“Oh, okay. Yeah! We’ll see you in a little bit! Bring back some of their double chocolate chip cookies! I love those!” Tommy chimed in as he kicked off his boots and went to sit by Arianna.

“Vanity?” I stopped at the door, glancing back at Clementine, “Yes?”

She eyed me, a wave of guilt running through me as she knew what I knew and that I really wasn’t going to get pizza.

“Be careful.”

*a little while later*

I walked through the sketchy corridor, ceiling light flickering above me as I could hear people yelling through their doors as well as loud music blaring through speakers. I moved closer to the wall when a group of girls walked past me, glaring.

I stopped in front of dark oak door, with the number 78 plated in gold above the peep hole. I knocked quietly before knocking a bit louder. The door swung open, a cloud of pot smoke hitting my face as a man, with three dots tattooed onto his cheek stood in front of me, “Jason home?”

He let off a toothy grin, as he opened up the door for me so I can come in. I stepped off to the side seeing a group of guys sitting on the couch with white powder and beer bottles sprawled over the glass coffee table.

“Jason! You got a pretty little thing that just walked in!” The man that opened the door yelled for him as I stood by the door, contemplating if I should just leave.

“Ah come hang out with us.” The guy wrapped his hand around my bicep and tugged me over to the couch with him. He forced me to sit down between him and another burly guy that had tattoos cascading down his arm, I even think one was a swastika that had flames around it.

My Hispanic ancestors would be rolling in their graves right about now.

“Want some?” He motioned to the white powder in front of me that either could of been coke, heroin or even meth for that matter.

“No thank you. I’ll wait for Jason.” Right on queue, a door opened up and a ditsy blonde came stumbling out with Jason right behind her. I felt my heart start racing as he handed her money and a tiny bag of drugs before she left.

His eyes met mine as I tried forcing a small smile, “How did I know you’d end up back here?” He chuckled as he walked over to the table I was sitting around, swiping some dust on his finger and licking it off.

“Did your precious little rockstar leave you again?” I watched as he tried keeping himself up and his eyes that were doing summersaults. By the bruises that ran down his arms, he had moved on to smack. Nikki’s eyes use to do the same little tricks.

I cleared my throat, “I just wanted some blow.” I digged into my wallet hearing the hushed oh fucks and the she’s loaded as I pulled out a hundred and tossed it on the table, “Enough so I don’t have to see you for a while.”

Jason reached down to grab the money, “Some blow?” He shook his head and tossed the money back to me, “How about we trade? Blow for blow?” He smirked as his eyes wandered down to the low cut shirt I was wearing, “She gives the best blow jobs boys, and she has a pretty tight pussy even after hanging out with rockstars in Los Angeles. I’m guessing that’s how she got so good.”

I felt a wave of uneasiness run through me as I felt the guy next to me wrap his hand around the base of my neck before trailing down. I quickly stood up and stared at him, “Just give me something Jason. I’m not in the mood for games. Please?”

“Wonder what else she’ll beg for..”

Jason chuckled, “Alright, come on.” He motioned for me as I followed him past the room he came out of and too his bedroom. He closed the door, locking it as I stepped into his room.

“Nice friends you have.” I rolled my eyes as I sat down on his bed.

“They aren’t my friends.” His back was towards me as he was fumbling with stuff on his dresser, “You just want blow? You sure you don’t want smack? It’s a better high. It’s fucking fantastic.”

He had a black satchel in his hand as he sat next to me, “Smack makes me sick.” I told him as he smiled at me.

“Smack makes everyone sick. But you get sick before you feel better. But a pretty nice girl like you doesn’t need that, it would ruin someone like you.” Jason explained as I watched him take out a vile of white powder, “Shoot it?”

I looked at him, nodding as he smirked. Jason dumped a little bit onto a spoon before melting it with a lighter. I watched the chemistry of it all, turning white into brown as it bubbled and became sticky. He grabbed a fresh needle, pulling it out of the package as he put the tip on it and sucked it up into the syringe.

“Here you go.” He handed it over to me as I took it and he wrapped a band around my bicep. I bit down on the elastic as I watched the needle meet skin before I pushed it into my arm, slowly seeing the coke mix with my own blood as I took the needle away from my body.

I let out a deep sigh as my high hit me like a freight train, “Thank you.” I mumbled through hooded eyes as I laid back on his bed. I heard him snort a few lines before he laid down next to me.

“I’m sorry for putting my hands on you. I’ve missed you a lot Vanity. Your friend almost crushed my windpipe, I was coughing up blood for a few days.” Jason explained, feeling his finger tips run over my abdomen and across my hips.

“I should go. Did you want money?” I asked him, pushing his hand away from me as I sat up, feeling lightheaded and the world spinning around me.

“Nah, you take this-“ he handed me a small bundle of blow as I took it from him, “-and just come back when you want to see me again.” Jason took a step closer and placed his lips on the side of my cheek.

“Right. Thanks.” I mumbled before i left his bedroom and apartment.

I stumbled out the doors, holding onto the railing as i started crying, “God damnit.” I clutched my arm around my stomach, feeling knots and knives twisting around inside.

I can do this little bit he gave me and be done with it. It’s all I need. I’ll get clean again after I finish this supply.

*A month later, Clementine’s POV*

I finished picking up the mess from the kindergarteners. Scrubbing paint off the tables and vacuuming up Crumbled pieces of crackers from the floors. I exhaled deeply, it was time for one big glass of wine. Maybe Vanity would like to get in on some wine and Chinese food maybe, apple juice for Ari of course. I grabbed my jacket and purse as I walked out of the classroom, locking up before going down the hallway.

I smiled to the janitors as they were sweeping the floors and washing the glass windows sticky little fingers have touched all day. I was almost at the front doors when I heard a child singing a rhyme. I walked around the corner as bright golden eyes and a messy bun and bow sat in front of me.

“Arianna? What are you doing here?” I put my stuff down as she was sitting criss cross with her backpack still on, “Where’s mom?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know.” I looked at my watch, seeing that it was almost four in the afternoon and school had gotten out over an hour ago.

I sat down next to her as I dug through purse and grabbed my phone, “She didn’t pick you up?” I flipped my phone open and saw that I had a new voicemail.

“No, the car is always over there and it isn’t.” She pointed by the tree that was in the no parking section, “Did she forget I was at school?” She giggles a bit as she dug through my purse and grabbed the candy she knows I always have in it.

“No! No, of course not angel. I’ll call her and see where she’s at.” I furrowed my eyebrows as I stared down at my phone and called her number, it went straight to her voicemail.

“Hey Van, uh…I’m sitting here with Ari wondering where you’re at. Are you okay? I’m gonna take her home and see if you’re there alright? Just give me a call back whenever you get this.”

I kissed the top of Arianna’s head as she stuffed candy into her mouth. I had a feeling the voicemail I had was from her so I clicked on it to let it play:

“Hello Clementine, my name is Jacqueline I’m a nurse calling from Silver Oak Medical Center. We had you on file as an emergency contact for Vanity Blackwood? Just give the hospital a call or come see her at your early convenience. Thank you.”

My eyes almost popped out of my head, “We gotta go babe. Come on.” I grabbed her backpack and my stuff as we walked out the door.

I felt tears burning as I helped Arianna into my car, thank god Vanity had bough another booster seat to keep in here, “We’re uh…we’re gonna go home and get some stuff and then you’re gonna come hang out with auntie for the weekend. How does that sound?” I asked her as she smiled.

“Yay!! Aunties house!” She cheered as I smiled at her and got into my car and drove to Their place.

When I unlocked the door with the spare key, Arianna went straight to playing with her toys in the living room. I went straight to the home phone as I shuffled papers around, finding a sticky note with Nikki’s name and a heart next to it with numbers jotted down. She’s going to hate me but oh well. I took a deep breath in as I dialed a phone number in and waited. After a few rings it picked up, “Hi is Nikki available?”

I heard the light strum of a bass in the background, “Ummm, whose calling?” The voice wasn’t a deep baritone, but a nasally female one.

“This is Clementine, Brandi. You know whose number this is.” I spat out, trying to keep my voice low so Arianna wouldn’t get nosey.

“Clementine? I don’t think we know a Clementine. I think you have the wrong number.” The line went dead as Brandi hung up on me.

“Oh that fucking bitch.” I whispered to myself, glaring at the phone as I punched in the same number again, it picked up after the first ring “Keep hanging up and I’ll leave a lovely little message.”

Brandi scoffed, “What the hell could you possibly want? What? She can’t get it through her thick skull that he doesn’t want her? So she makes you call? Pathetic.”

“No you dumb cunt, there’s a fucking emergency and I need to talk to Nikki.”

”Aww, so sad. Do you want me to get the violin out?” She cackled, “Look I’ll leave a message but he’s a bit busy at the moment.”

“Brandi! It’s about Arianna, it’s serious.” I lied, “I need to talk to him.”

“Tell Vanity to kiss her booboo and that will make things better. He’s busy. Stop calling.” Brandi hung up the phone before I could say anything else to her.

I put the phone down, running my hand over my face as I looked over the numbers, maybe the other one is his office?

I tapped my fingers against the wall, waiting for the receiver to click, “If you hang up, I swear you’ll never reproduce again.”

“Uh…who is this? I kinda like having my dick attached to me..”

I rolled my eyes at Nikki’s voice, “Clem, you fucking idiot. Since you’ve been ignoring your daughter and Van.”

“I haven’t- no! I’m not ignoring them! I tried returning her calls but she didn’t call me back, is she pissed at me?”

If Nikki was standing in front of me, I probably would’ve wrapped the chord around his neck, “Really?! What do you think? Just a few months of ignoring her is going to fly with her? I’m not Vanity, Don’t give me the excuses, Nikki.”

I heard Nikki groan, “What’s going on Clementine, why are you calling?”

“Nikki, Vanity is in the hospital. She doesn’t want you here but I’m not taking Arianna to the hospital because I don’t know what kind of condition Van is in. So I need you to be here for your daughter, or are you actually the asshole I think you are?”

[joaquinfeed]

ABC’s of Arthur Fleck (fem!reader)

A/N: I’m not sure if this has been done before many times, so sorry if it’s repetitive. I saw this prompt list online and thought ‘why not?’ ALSO. I don’t know who to credit for the list. So, if you know…tell me and I’ll give credit where it’s due! :) 

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

It’s no secret that Arthur is touch starved. He is always finding some way to show you his deep and meaningful affection for you. He’s not used to public display’s, and he likes to keep you all to himself, so he’ll typically opt for private moments over public ones. He absolutely adores playing with your fingers, placing soft kisses on your neck, or drawing patterns across your skin. He has to feel you to know that you’re really there.

B = best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

Arthur finds something new every day that he swears will be his favorite memory. He cherishes every single moment with you, even the little arguments, because it all reminds him how much you love him. If he was forced to choose, he would say that his favorite memory is the first time he opened up about his mental illnesses to you. You, of course, were incredibly supportive and patient. He had never felt so loved before in his life.

C = cat or dog person (this is pretty obvious)

Arthur loves all animals, but he has always wanted a little kitten. They are playful, but not too hyper. They also don’t require as much care, and Arthur already has a lot on his plate. Although you’ve never talked about it, he secretly hopes you both will get a pet one day. 

D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

Besides spreading joy and laughter, his biggest dream has already come true. If Arthur could, he’d spend the rest of his life making sure that you’re happy. He wasn’t sure if he’d be a good father or not, but if a baby was something you wanted or desired, he would put every last inch of effort into making that a reality when the time is right. He barely believes that you love him unconditionally, let alone another little human. He would be grateful either way.

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? Do they go out? Do they read?)

Arthur’s perfect evening would go like this: cuddle with you, cook you some dinner, practice his standup routine to see your pretty little smile, cuddle with you, watch the Murray Franklin show, and then cuddle with you. He couldn’t get enough of your arms around him, and if he had to save up a little extra money to buy a few more soft sweaters (just so you would lay your head on his chest), so be it. Let it be known that he’s also not opposed to spending the evening in the bedroom. He can always watch Murray another time.

F = first date (what was it like?)

It was a little awkward for the both of you. Arthur was still so new to dating, and he didn’t want to do anything wrong. Plus, neither of you are rolling in money, and so you just stayed in at Arthur’s apartment. He cooked a nice meal for the both of you, put on a Charlie Chaplin film, and introduced you to his mother, Penny. It was unconventional, all over the place, and different from what you were expecting. However, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. The night was very Arthur, and it only made you fall harder. 

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

He has different types of laughs. Some fill you with absolute adoration and joy. Others fill you with sadness and pain. His attacks come when he’s feeling anxious, dissociative, or under-appreciated. His beautiful, real laugh comes out while watching Murray, joking around with one another, and when he plays practical jokes on you. You taught him a few pranks because you knew they would make him happy, and boy did they. Switching sugar for salt is funny, but only the first time.

H = hugs (do they like hugs?)

He LOVES hugs. He likes ‘goodbye, I’ll see you after work’ hugs. He adores ‘we just had a fight, and I’m really sorry’ hugs.  He fonds over ‘I missed you so much’ hugs. He feels lucky to get ‘it’s okay, I’m here for you’ hugs. But his favorite hugs are ‘there’s no reason, I just wanted to be near you’ hugs. Yeah. He loves hugs.

I = instrument (do they play an instrument?) Arthur doesn’t play an instrument. When he was a child, he never had the time or money to learn. As an adult, he thinks it’s too late to try and get into the hobby. He figures he probably wouldn’t be very good at it. You assure him though, if he wants to try, you’ll find a way to make it happen. He feels music deep within him, and you know he’d be a wonderful musician.

J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

You do. Nothing brings more happiness to Arthur’s life than you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you look at him. It’s all so overwhelming sometimes. Not many other things bring him to pure joy; Gotham hasn’t been kind to him. However, the city almost seems like Heaven when you’re around.

K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

It depends. When Arthur is feeling confident, he can take charge and definitely get caught up in the moment. His first priority is pleasing you. Early on in the relationship, he was incredibly shy. He felt like he would break you, or scare you away if he touched you too much. He’s come a long way, but he still has days where all he can give are small, timid kisses. Either way, you love them. 

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

Arthur doesn’t mean to, but he’s pretty obsessive. As soon as he set his sights on you, he knew he had to be near you. It took him awhile to get the courage to actually talk to you, but he admired you from afar quite a bit. 

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

Again, Arthur loves every memory with you in it. His childhood memories weren’t exactly pleasant, and life before you was…difficult. He can’t wait to spend the rest of his life creating new memories with you.

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

His biggest pet peeve is unkind behavior. Sure, he hates when people are so mean to him. Especially when he’s only been kind to the people of Gotham. But no. Unkind behavior to himself was one thing, but unkind behavior to you? It made him livid. If someone was rude, said a snarky comment, or harassed you in any way, he would furiously write his feelings down in his journal. So much so that his therapist asked when his joke diary turned into a Y/N diary. He just blushed at that.

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

It’s always been Arthur’s dream to be a comedian. Well, except for that one brief moment when he was a child when he wanted to be a pirate. But he doesn’t talk about that. He knows just how cruel this world can be, and he wants to spread love and joy as much as he can. What better way than making people laugh?

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

Arthur would be a…nervous parent. During the pregnancy, he would be constantly afraid that you or the baby would get hurt. Not to mention, he’s read stories about women dying during labor. 

It terrifies him to think of that. 

After you and the baby were safely home, he would always make sure you both were happy and healthy. He often wrote his worries down about parenting in his notebook. A few of them being: “What if my kid thinks im as weerd as other people do?” “My baby mite have some of the same mental illnesses as me. Maybe insomneea.” Arthur also knows how bad he is at spelling. What if his child needed help with their homework? Would he be smart enough to do so? Would his kid be embarrassed by him? These thoughts often plagued Arthur’s mind. He kept it to himself for now though; he didn’t want to worry you.

Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

Arthur doesn’t even know what’s real in the natural world around him. Or at the very least, he questions it quite a bit. He spends too much of his time trying to convince himself that you’re real; he hasn’t had time to think much about ghost or aliens. 

R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

Of course he is romantic. He gets discouraged by his gestures, and he wishes he could do more for you. He hopes every day that you’re not disappointed in him (you aren’t). He loves cooking you good meals, buying you flowers when he can, or taking an extra shift at HaHa’s in order to buy you a gift. He’s seriously considered selling his Charlie Chaplin movie collection to take you out to a fancy dinner. The only reason he hasn’t is because he knows you’d be upset if he did.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

Is this even a question? YOU! When you’re smiling, Arthur’s smiling. The Murray show often makes him smile too, but he still loves you more. (You hope!)

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

He’s pretty clingy. Being apart from you for too long makes him anxious. You’re the one who grounds him and makes him think positively. Without you, all he’s got is himself and his thoughts. Both of which, can lead him down a spiraling path. He prefers to be with you at any hour he can; if he could spend all 24 hours with you, he would.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable?)

You love Arthur, but you hate how insecure he is. You’re patient because it makes sense, and you understand him. However, you wish more than anything that Arthur could see just how beautiful and amazing he is. You hate when he talks down about himself; after all, that’s the man you’re in love with. As for you, he likes everything about you. The only thing that irritates worry’s him at times is your need to make sure he’s okay. You’ve nearly fought people who are blatantly rude to him, and it upsets him to know that you could be hurt in the process. 

“I’m not worth it,” he’ll tell you. 

There’s that self-doubt again.

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

You don’t really take any videos; neither of you have the money to spend on a video camera. You do have a polaroid camera that you’ve kept with you, and you love taking pictures of Arthur. Pictures of his face are scattered around your apartment. Sometimes you’ll take pictures of yourself too and tape them where he can find them. It helps remind him that you’re real, and you love him.

W = wedding (what will the wedding be like?)

The wedding is small. Neither of you even expected to get married when you did. Arthur decided it was time to marry you, and so he asked. He saved up money for months to buy you a ring. The ring still wasn’t all that big, but you didn’t care one bit. It was beautiful to you. His speech was short and sweet, complete with nervous stutters and blushes. 

“I-I’m sorry I couldn’t buy you something better,” Arthur blushed, looking a little ashamed at the small ring he held in his hand. “But-but I wanted to marry you now. Or, I wanted to ask you. Shit! I didn’t- I didn’t ask you. Do- do you want to marry me?”

It was perfect. You both were so excited to marry one another that you couldn’t care less about the actual wedding process. That night, and way into the morning, you both surely had fun celebrating your love. 

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

The 1920′s silent film Treasure Island made him want to be a pirate when he was younger. He thought he would go on adventures, find treasure, and sail the open seas. As a kid, that looked like ultimate freedom. 

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, scent, word, anything)

Arthur hates bully’s. He also hates when you shrug after he asks you something important about yourself. For example, all the times he asks what’s wrong, or why you feel insecure, or if you think you’re beautiful, and you shrug? Yeah, he hates that. He knows you might just need some time, but he doesn’t like to see you upset.

Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

Arthur is a heavy sleeper when he can actually fall asleep. Because of his insomnia, he has a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. You often find yourself awake with him, keeping him company or stroking his hair until he’s tired again. When he does get a few hours in, you try to be as quiet as humanly possible so you don’t wake him up. Arthur loves falling asleep with you tucked into his side, or he into yours. He has to admit, he’s never slept more peacefully than with you by his side.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Rare ~ Matthew Tkachuk

A/n: Hey yall I love selena gomez. That’s all. This is just a short one so sorry about that but I just liked ending it where it was. More coming soon. Enjoy

“Matty I’m home!” I called out into the apartment slipping my shoes off. I hung up my purse and walked through the place. “Matthew?”

I wandered around until I got to the patio and saw him sitting outside on a beach chair. I took a minute to just stand there and admire him. Recently he was starting to make me feel kinda dumb for just wanting to look at how hot he was. To be honest our relationship was at a really rocky place right now and I didn’t know why or what changed.

I decided against going to talk to him and just went to get dinner ready instead. I put on some music quietly and started cutting up vegetables for a stir fry. I opened a window when it was time to cook everything so that it wouldn’t get too warm in the kitchen. I didn’t think of the fact that Matt would be able to hear everything inside until I heard the sliding glass door open and shut.

“Hi Matty.”

“Hi baby. I didn’t know you were home.” he said coming over and giving me a kiss on the head.

“I got back a little while ago. You looked so calm and relaxed that I didn’t want to bug you.”

“Eh, it wouldn’t have been that much of a bother.” he said shrugging and smiling at me.

“Wow thanks.” I said rolling my eyes, just as sarcastic as he was. “How was your day?”

“You’re gonna give me attitude like that and then ask me how my day was? Really?” he asked crossing his arms. Making me scrunch up my brows in confusion.

“What do you mean attitude? I was being sarcastic. Like you were.”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic.”

“Then that is definitely not any better and you deserve attitude for that.”

“No I don’t!”

“Matt you literally said me coming out to say hi ‘wouldn’t have been that much of a bother’.” I said mocking his voice.

“Yeah because it wouldn’t have been a big bother.”

“But it still would have bothered you if I had. So clearly I made the right choice by just staying inside.”

“Babe this is ridiculous. Stop fighting, because I’m sick of it right honestly.”

“So am I but how am I supposed to react when you blow shit up for no reason? I know everyone else let’s you do whatever you want Matty but I’m not. I know you hate that but fuck dude.”

“No one let’s me do anything I want what are you even talking about?!”

“Nothing, nevermind. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, I’m done fighting. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.” he walked out of the room and I just finished dinner quietly. 

Pretty much as soon as our mini fight was done all was forgiven and back to normal. That’s what really bugged me, was how fast it went from bad to okay and the fact that I just had to go with whatever was happening. We were sitting on the couch watching Game of Thrones together until late into the night. I was getting restless sitting next to my super gorgeous boyfriend though. I was watching him more than the show by that point. I was sitting in a perfect position to just lean forward and connect my lips to his neck. Which I did. He didn’t react right away, or at all until I moved his shirt and started leaving a mark under his collarbone. 

“Whatcha doin little vampire?” he asked smiling squeezing my ass for good measure.

“You just looked so hot baby, I can’t help it..”

“Oh really? I’m just that hot huh?” he asked with a cocky smirk.

“You know you are.” I said pushing him back to lay down on the couch making him laugh. I crawled over top of him and straddled his waist going back to his neck. He grabbed my hips and pushed me down onto his growing erection groaning in my ear.

“You gonna go down on me? Take my cock in your mouth so good?”

“Please let me..”

“Always baby. Go ahead.” he shifted his hips to let me pull his pants down just enough to free his dick. I didn’t have to do much and it didn’t take long until he was finishing in my mouth. “Go wait for me upstairs baby. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay.” I smiled and gave him a kiss before going up to our shared room. After about 10 minutes I heard him talking to his friends on xbox live and knew that he was absolutely not going to be coming up to finish what was started downstairs or even just to come to bed for a long time. I laid in the bed and was just frustrated with how things were going. I couldn’t even get him interested in sleeping with me anymore. That was the last thing we really had at this point. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until about a week later that I decided to try something to get Matty’s attention. I spent the entire morning walking around the apartment with just a pair of underwear and a bralette on. He completely ignored me. While that felt like shit he told me on his way out that Johnny and Elias were coming over after practice so I decided to try and make him jealous. If he still got jealous there had to be something there right?

By the time all the boys got back I was laying on the couch watching some home improvement show. They were loud and joking around until they got to the living room and saw me.

“Hey boys! How was practice?” I asked, giving them smiles.

“It was good.” Johnny said.

“Hard.” Elias added looking at me.

“Not the only thing hard.” You heard Matthew mumble grumpily.

“What was that Matty?”

“Nothing babe.” he said rolling his eyes coming over and laying on top of me to give me a kiss. He got up and pulled a blanket around me before sitting up on the floor in front of me. I put my fingers in his hair and started giving him head scratches while they set up their video game. Matt let them go first and he just sat with me. I put my leg over his shoulder and he kept giving my calf small kisses until it was his turn. Pretty much at that point and for the rest of the night he just forgot I existed. The other two boys didn’t and it was nice getting some male attention but it wasn’t the attention I wanted. Eventually I just went upstairs and waited for hours with tears in my eyes. After a few hours he came up, crawled into bed, gave me a kiss on the back of the neck and pulled me close to him before falling asleep immediately. I laid there for a while before I shifted around and woke him up by turning on the lamp on my side of the bed.

“Babe? What the fuck are you doing?” he asked confused, rubbing his eyes.

“Can we talk please?” I asked quietly.

“It’s the middle of the night, can it wait?” he asked rubbing my arm softly. I broke into sobs and shook my head. His expression relaxed immediately and he pulled me towards him in a hug. “What’s the matter (y/n)?”

“Do you still love me?” I asked not beating around the bush.

“What? Babe of course I still love you! Why would you ever ask that? What’s this about?”

“Recently things have just been really hard. A lot of fighting, a lot of going to bed angry and alone, a lot of just not feeling very appreciated. It feels like you don’t care.”

“I’ve been making you feel like that? For real?” he asked in shock. I just nodded and fresh tears spilled down my cheeks.

“It feels like you’re getting ready to leave.”

“Baby no. Don’t think like that.” he held me closer to him and smoothed out my hair.

“I’ve always felt like you were it for me Matthew. I love you so much and now it just feels like I’ve been aiming too high and it’s not something you want, like you’re getting sick of me being around or something.”

“That is not even close to true. (y/n) you’re the only person I’ve ever loved. You changed me remember? I never thought I’d ever love one person, let alone love someone this much.”

“It just seems like you’re getting really sick of having me around all the time. Like I try to be there for you after a game and you’re annoyed. I try to help you by doing things around the house but you get annoyed. I try to go to every single game possible and you get annoyed when I miss one. It seems like anything to get annoyed with me for you just take it and run. I’m trying my best Matty. Not a lot of people would try this hard..”

“Baby nobody in their right mind would try this hard. That’s why I love you. You don’t care that it’s kind of crazy to want to be with me and try to make me better, you stick around and do it anyway. I know that you’re special and that I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I know I don’t do anything to help with the fighting and stuff but I just wish things were going smoother. I just get so mad when I do things for you all the time and you don’t do the same. It’s not fair. I’m there for you and I support you through everything and then you get upset with me and I just explode. I just feel very unappreciated. There’s no reason we shouldn’t be succeeding right now.”

“I agree. I’m so sorry that I ever made you feel like I didn’t appreciate every single thing you do for me and every single sacrifice you make. I get so angry and stressed out and I’ve been taking it out on you instead of putting those emotions somewhere more useful.”

“I don’t care if you take your anger out on me in ways that aren’t screaming at me and leaving me alone all night.”

“What do you mea- Oh! Oh..you little..” he just groaned and smiled throwing his head back. “Don’t make me think about that right now. I’m trying to be serious.”

“I’m sorry Matty.”

“I feel awful that I’ve let you go so long to the point where you blew up in the middle of the night.” he said frowning, playing with my hand. “What can I do to fix it?”

“I don’t know Matt..”

“How about we start going out more? Like going on dates again? Once or twice a week when I’m home or something like that. Just us two and we can talk and just be together one on one?”

“That sounds like it would be nice.”

“Yeah and I can start helping more around the house so you’re not as stressed out. I’ll even start going to the team therapist again if you want.”

“Matty that’s a lot of promises.”

“And I intend to keep every one of them babygirl.” he said softly bringing my face to his in a soft kiss. “You’ll see. I mean what I’m saying. I know how special you are and I would be a complete idiot if I didn’t listen to you seriously right now and do something to change how you’re feeling. I’m not willing to lose you. It can’t happen.”

“I don’t know what to say..thank you baby. I thought this was just going to be another big fight.”

“Absolutely not. I’m never going to fight and argue with you about something this serious. I never want to hear you sound so broken and sad because of me ever again.”

“I love you.” I said laying back down on the bed with him.

“I love you more.” he said kissing me again. “You’ll see baby. I’m going to turn this around.”