#one clown and i shut down reblogs

[angelsaxis]

"he's better than Trump!!"

[tojisbbg]

𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬

❝you're exciting, boy, come find me; your eyes told me, "girl, come ride me".❞  

♡ geto suguru ♡

a/n: was scrolling through twitter and stumbled across yunonoai's new geto piece here. i love the roommates idea and decided to write a quick little smutfic for him ;)

likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

content: roommate!geto suguru x fem!reader, modern au, smut, fluff/crack, not edited.

---

"yes, satoru." geto sighed, pressing his phone to his ear before raising his shoulder to hold it in place, one of his hands filled with grocery bags while the other dug inside his pocket to fish for the house keys.

"you're so rude, suguru. it's been so long since i've talked to you, i feel like i'm gonna die from lung cancer." gojo dramatically whined on the other side of the line, making geto roll his eyes.

"i just got home from work and we literally talked last night." he deadpanned, making gojo huff in discontent.

"that's still too long." the white haired man snickered.

"gay ass." geto mumbled under his breath, finally unlocking the door as he twisted the knob to enter.

"i have a girlfriend! unlike you. you're my bro, it's always bros before hoes." gojo poetically recited, half of his words flying out of geto's other ear as the man had a long day at work.

"surprised you got one before me." he yawned, slipping out of his sneakers to slip on his house slipper. geto distanced his phone away from his ear momentarily.

"y/n, i'm home." geto announced, but there was no response heard back from you.

"hater, you're just mad that my dick is better than yours. anyways, wanna grab dinner together? i need to tell you about what happened in my morning class today, i nearly busted my lungs out from laughing." gojo offered, already laughing midway through his sentence because he's a whole clown.

"some other time, i'm gonna cook dinner for y/n tonight." geto declined, walking inside the living room, tossing his keys on the sofa.

"feed her your dick instead."

"shut the fuck up."

"y'all didn't fuck yet?"

"hanging up, talk to you later." with that being said, geto could hear gojo about to protest, but he was quick to press the red button to end his conversation with the annoying man. he set the bags of groceries down on the counter, rubbing his temple in annoyance.

geto noticed how you weren't in the living room nor in the kitchen, where he usually finds you around this time. curiosity piques his attention, walking over to your room.

as he inched closer to your door, geto could hear soft whimpers and groans exiting your room. his eyebrows knitted in confusion... until he stood in front of your closed door.

"nghh~ feel so good, suguru."

"f-fuck, just like that!"

"ahhh~ need your cock inside my pussy, sugu."

"i-i'm gonna cum!! oh my go-god!"

geto's eyes widened at the mentioning of his name slipping out of your mouth in such a lewd manner. you were masturbating to the thought of him. he could feel heat creep up to his cheeks, bringing a hand up to his face to cover his mouth as he continued to hear your moans.

"shit." geto mumbled to himself, feeling his pants tighten as a tent now formed around his crotch area. he was so fucking hard just by hearing you whine for him like a bitch in heat.

eventually, your voice died down, red alarm signals going off inside his head. geto quickly left from his spot as quietly as he could, heading back inside the kitchen.

he had a silly little plan that he wanted to execute on you.

so, he continued on with taking out the groceries, as if he heard nothing; gathering all the things he needed to make a quick home-cooked dinner tonight. a little smirk painted over his lips, hearing your door creak open before hearing your footsteps.

geto looked up, meeting your eyes, as you were startled to see the man whose name you were moaning a few minutes ago appear in your shared kitchen. he gave you a small wave before going back to his work of chopping some veggies on the cutting board, some other things already sizzling in a pot next to him.

you quickly cleared your throat, offering him a nervous smile as you played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"o-oh, you're back home so soon, sugu." you stammered out, leaning over the counter as you watched him stir the pot, his broad back turned to you as his hair was wrapped into a neat bun.

"mhm, got off of work early today to get groceries." he responded, looking back at you as he took note of your flushed face and disheveled hair.

you looked like someone just fucked your entire existence out of you.

you chewed on your bottom lip as you began to overthink, trying to recall if you'd heard the main door open during your little private session. but, your mind was absolutely fucked out during that time, only being fogged by the dirty thoughts of geto plunging his cock inside of you instead of your pathetic fingers.

oh god... did he hear you?

the thought of him catching you moaning his name while pleasuring yourself created a huge wave of shame and embarrassment, colliding straight at you as you turned even more red. geto, who was peacefully cooking, could sense your panic as his smirk grew.

"i'll be in the living room." you quietly informed, dashing out of the kitchen where he was making a heavenly concoction, the aroma of different spices already welcoming your senses.

but, unfortunately, you had bigger things to worry about than the raging appetite in your stomach.

you sat on the couch, trying to knock some self-assurance into your anxious mind. you took in a deep breath, falling into your own train of thoughts.

surely, if geto were to hear you, he'd probably feel at least a little weird about it, right? like probably give you some weird stares, side eye you or like maybe not even talk to you???

yeah, you were freaking out.

you lightly smack your cheek, bringing yourself back. you convinced yourself that geto didn't hear you, he was still chopping veggies and loading the fridge when you walked out. this meant that he had to arrive after you were done.

besides, he was acting pretty normal with you.

you sunk into the couch, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as you tried to shoo away your thoughts. you've been roommates with geto for about two years now, the both of you meeting in your organic chemistry class during the first year of college.

you were still living with your parents, while he was living with his best friend, gojo. however, you soon decided that it was time for you to break away from your parents' protective shell, wanting to experience true adulthood and independence.

and for geto... well, gojo was a handful to live with, in short.

so, you both met by fate, sitting next to each other in the painfully boring and difficult class. about a month passed and you guys grew pretty close to each other, frequently partnering up for experiments and mini projects; which were done primarily over his place since gojo was barely home after sunset.

you were apartment hunting during that time, which was so hard as the rent was outrageous, especially near campus. when geto heard your little rant about it, he offered to be your roommate so that the rent wouldn't be so burdensome on you.

of course, you agreed without hesitation because the man was so incredibly nice. geto was a gentleman, every single good trait and positive word that exists in the dictionary could be used to describe his personality.

needless to say, you were not disappointed. he was clean, organized and responsible. geto paid his rent on time, did the groceries on days where it was his turn and sometimes on your days as well when he sees you stressed out. he cooks dinner for you both frequently since your cooking is very limited, if not, takeout is always there as a solution.

geto made sure to kill any bug, big or small, that threatened you; especially in the summer heat when those fuckers slipped in through the window. he was your knight in shining armor, whacking them dead with his slipper.

not to mention that it's rewarding to see such a hot man in your house every day after a depressing eight hours of lecture plus work. there was no denying the fact that geto suguru was incredibly attractive, and he was extremely popular amongst the female students as well.

on really hot summer days, you'd see him in skimpy tight tank tops, the fabric hugging his slutty narrow waist while deliciously exposing his muscular arms. his beautiful luscious black hair resting a little below his shoulder.

oh, and of course, he smelled so fucking good.

a mix of coconut from the shampoo he uses along with the scent of expensive cologne and his body wash.

with all these factors coming into play, having a silly little crush on geto suguru was quite reasonable to you.

"you feeling sick, y/n? your face seems flushed." the sudden intrusion of geto's voice awoke you from your trance, looking up at him as the man stood in front of you. he looked down at you with a concerned look, the back of his hand coming up to touch your forehead.

"hm, no fever." he concluded, eyeing you for an answer.

"oh, it's 'cause i just woke up from a nap and it was super hot in my room." you lied, making him cock an eyebrow.

"hot? it's the middle of november." geto snorted, making you mentally wince because you were slowly getting caught in your lie.

"the heater was on blast in my room." you defended, making him cross his arms over his chest as he looked like he was thinking really hard.

"weird, could've sworn i made sure to lower the temperature on the thermostat before leaving this morning. oh well." he shrugged, deciding to not pick on you anymore as he took a seat on the sofa in front of you.

you let out a sigh of relief, thanking god that he dropped his interrogation with you. your eyes followed his body, watching him plop on the sofa as he leaned back, shifting his hips forward before manspreading.

holy.

fuck.

you ogled at the sight, shamelessly eye-fucking him as your mind began to mentally strip him. almost immediately, your eyes fell on his lap, seeing the prominent bulge in his sweats. of course, geto's eyes noticed your staring, biting back a grin as his plan was working.

"you know, it's not nice to stare, sweetheart." geto playfully snickered, the petname that was directed to you sent heat between your legs, making your thighs clench together.

fuck, he made you feel so hot and bothered.

"i-i.." your words were stuck in your throats as you met his piercing onyx colored eyes, watching him give you a half-lidded smirk.

"hm? can't hear you from there, why don't you come over here and tell me." he patted his thigh, inviting you to sit on his lap. your eyes were the size of two full moons as you never expected to experience this side of geto.

either way, who were you to decline this gorgeous man's invite?

so, without hesitation, you got up from your spot and walked over to him. the both of you locked eyes, with you now standing in between his legs. geto's arms laced around your waist, pulling you down on his lap as you placed your legs on either sides.

as you pressed down against his lower half, you felt something poke your ass, making you gasp. geto chuckled, moving your hair away from your neck, exposing the skin.

"gonna help me take care of that, y/n?" geto whispered, pressing open mouth kisses on your neck, making you whimper as you wrapped your arms around his neck. you grind your hips on his hard on, earning a groan from him.

you felt his tongue swipe against your skin before feeling his teeth digging in ever so lightly, sucking the flesh. you let out a shaky breath, feeling him kiss, suck and lick all over your neck.

"s-sugu.." you stutter out, biting your lower lip to contain a shameless moan that itched to leave your throat. geto pulled away, looking up at you with lust clouded eyes. his hand grabbed the back of your head, pulling you towards his face as he crashed his lips against you.

geto could taste the sweetness of your fruity flavored lip balm, feeling his lips smoothly mold into yours. you sucked on his lower lips before giving it a soft lick, telepathically asking him to open his mouth, which he did. so, you shoved your tongue in his mouth, wet smooching sounds radiating off of you two.

he tasted like mint, so fresh and sweet. your hands cupped his face, angling your face in a way that you could kiss him deeper, his fingers dancing on your spine. you felt the wet muscle intertwine with yours, making you suck his tongue as you rubbed your clothed cunt against his bulge.

geto moaned in your mouth, the impact of your warm cunt against his painfully clothed cock sent waves of pleasure to his brain. you both soon pulled away, gasping for air as a string of saliva was connected to the both of your lips.

"can i help you with this?" you softly asked, pressing down on his cock once again, eliciting a gruff groan from him. geto looked at you, your eyes were practically pleading him, lashes innocently batting as you oh so politely asked him.

"of course you can, sweetheart." geto replied, making your heart jump to your throat as you eagerly slid out of his lap, now sitting on your knees in between his legs. with attentive eyes, he watched your hands tug down his sweats, which he helped you with.

it was adorable how impatient you were, so excited to have a taste of his cock. you've seen geto shirtless on multiple occasions, eyes always never failing to catch the deep v-lines that ran down the side of his body.

so, it meant that he definitely had a monstrously huge cock hiding in those tight calvin klein boxers.

you wasted no time in pulling down the waistband of his boxers, hand reaching in to grab his cock. however, as soon as you felt the sheer length and girth of it, unable to properly grasp it in your hand; you harshly gulped.

fuck, he was hung.

by the looks of your hesitation, geto's ego immediately jumped a whole tower up, leaning his head back against the sofa as he wrapped his arms behind his head.

you pulled his boxers down, his hard cock springing out and hitting his stomach, your eyes widening at the sight. he was huge and thick, standing no less than a good seven to eight inches in length. the tip of his cock was a cute blush color, leaking out so much precum as a single prominent vein ran on the underside of his cock.

you wrapped your hand around his cock, giving it a few teasing pumps, making him grunt as the soft flesh of your palms did wonders on him. your thumb cheekily made it's way up to his tip, circling it as the pad of your thumb became coated with his precum.

geto jolted at this sudden action, looking down at you with an expression that was so beautiful and arousing.

"f-fuck, why don't you give it a little kiss, baby." he requested, making you hum as you pressed a feather-light kiss on his tip, feeling the small bead of the wet liquid on your lips. you smirked at how his chest heaved up and down at your teasing, your tongue licking a long stripe up his vein.

"stop teasing." geto groaned, getting a little impatient. you giggled at his words, placing the tip of his cock on your tongue before wrapping your lips around it. you sucked on it a little before shoving as much of his cock as you possibly could into your mouth.

"o-oh my god.." geto's eyes screwed shut as he felt the warm encasing of your mouth around him. you began to bob your head up and down his throbbing cock, pushing him down your throat, while your hands simultaneously worked to pleasure the inches that you couldn't fit.

"mmm, just like that— being such a good girl for me." he praised, a hand coming down to encourage your movements, pushing you deeper. you gagged a few times, but that seemed to only drive him off the edge, as every time your throat contorted or tightened, it deliciously squeezed his aching cock.

you could feel tears prick at your eyes, your hands fondling with his heavy balls, giving them gentle squeezes. geto's thighs began to ever so slightly shake, small curses and whimpers exiting his plump lips as the movement of your mouth and hands quickened.

"gonna let me cum down your throat? take all of it like a good girl." his hips began to desperately buck into your mouth, one of his hands gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail as he thrusted into your throat. you let him throat-fuck you, your nails digging into the flesh of his thick muscular thighs.

"shit." geto swore under his breath, feeling his cock twitch inside your mouth as his vein pulsated. with the release of a guttural moan from his mouth, geto came hard and deep down your throat; as thick wads of white cum spurted out.

you made sure to swallow every single drop, licking his cock clean before giving his tip one last kiss as you pulled away. geto looked down at you while you looked up at him with a cock-drunk smile, making him smile.

his hand came down to your face, long and thick fingers wiping away your tears.

"made me feel so good, sweetheart. let me reward you, yeah?" geto sensually spoke, making your clit throb with arousal. he helped you up, once again placing you on his lap as he pulled you in for a needy kiss, tasting himself on your tongue.

geto's hands sneaked inside your shirt, caressing your sides as you shuddered in response to his touches. you tried to focus on the kiss, but you soon felt his hands creep up to your tits, giving them a squeeze through your bra.

"suguru!" you gasped against his lips, making him bite your lower lip.

"off." he commanded, tugging at the hem of your t-shirt. you obliged obediently, pulling it over your head before throwing it on the floor. with very skillful movements, geto unhooked your bra, removing them before having it join your t-shirt on the floor.

your tits deliciously spilled out, perky nipples which were swollen from the lack of attention. geto wasted no time in taking a mouthful of your tits, sucking on the hard bud as you let out a whimper. you pulled his head closer to your chest, grinding your pussy on his cock through your shorts.

geto gently rolled your nipple between his teeth before giving it a playful bite, making you shake in his hold. he sucked the mounds of fatty flesh, making sure to leave a copious amount of purplish marks on your skin.

suddenly, he placed a hand on your back before shifting to the side, gently laying you down on one of the cushions. geto pulled down your shorts, eyes coming into contact with the wet patch on your panties.

your cheeks heated up in embarrassment, averting your gaze from him, which made him laugh.

"eager are we?" he playfully threw at you, making you whine. not pushing it any further, geto soon pulled down your panties as well, a thin line of your arousal being attached to the fabric. he threw your shorts and panties to the floor before taking in the sight of your soaking wet cunt.

"fucking hell, sweetheart, you're dripping." he commented, making you clamp your thighs shut from how bashful his vulgar words made you feel. however, geto didn't appreciate you covering up, strong hands now on your thighs as he spread them apart.

"don't be greedy, y/n. let me see, baby." geto scolded, pressing a kiss on your inner thighs, which made you yelp.

he wasted no time in giving your clit a feather-light stroke, making your thighs twitch from the sudden stimulation. geto liked that reaction, now using his thumb and middle finger to spread your wet folds open. he had to gather some self-control to not shove his face into your cunt.

"so fucking pretty." he complimented, gawking at your puffy cunt and swollen clit, giving it away that you indeed played with yourself moments before. you were so wet for him, it was absolutely ridiculous, your hole clenching on nothing as it leaked more of your juices.

"do something, sugu. need you so bad." you begged, bucking your hips up to feel more of his fingers. he snickered at your actions, landing a wet slap on your clit, making you whimper.

"good girls get what they want. so, be a good girl and be patient while i admire you, 'kay?" geto shortly lectured, making you softly protest at his constant teasing, needing to feel some part of him on your body.

the man watched you squirm and softly grunt with a contented grin on his lips, seeing how your thighs threatened to close every few minutes from his light touches. however, geto wasn't that mean and he's practically been dreaming of this moment ever since he’s met you.

and after what he heard earlier today? oh no, baby, he's gonna make sure to memorize every detail of your pussy today.

geto slid his middle finger between your folds, slowly rubbing it up and down, the tip of his finger nudging your clit once he dragged his digit back up. your breath hitched, hands flying to the back of your head to grip the cushion.

"tch, that's all you're gonna give me? you weren't so shy about being vocal earlier." geto scoffed, making your eyes widen as you looked at him with a shocked expression. he smirked, rubbing your clit in a quickened circular motion, making your brain stop working as you completely forgot about what he just told you, eyes screwing shut as you choked out a moan.

"fuck, suguru!" you cried out his name, breathing heavy as geto continued to stimulate the sensitive bundle of nerves, his free hand coming up to pinch your nipples and squeeze your tits.

"mhm, there you go. but, i gotta hear more from that pretty mouth of yours, sweetheart." with that being said, geto dragged his finger down to your needy hole, prodding it open.

you felt him enter his middle finger, groaning as it was longer and thicker than yours. geto began to thrust his finger in and out of your cunt at a slow pace, watching you fidget. he soon added a second finger, the stretch of his thick digits was too much as it made all the wires in your brain fuse.

"nghh~, s-shit, feels so good!" you cried out, feeling him scissor his fingers back and forth into your wet cunt. he suddenly plunged in a third finger, making you choke on your moans as they began to rub your tight walls.

"yeah? taking my fingers so well." he whispered, moving his body up, slotting himself between your legs while his fingers never faltered. geto captured your lips in a sloppy kiss, while you whimpered against his lips.

he moved his head down, taking your tits in his mouth once again as he continued to thrust his fingers inside of you. you babbled random things, eyes rolling back as you felt the familiar knot tightening in your lower stomach. your walls clamped down on his fingers, making geto grunt at the sudden squeeze on his fingers.

"such a naughty girl, you are, y/n. playing with this pretty pussy of yours while moaning my name when i'm not around." geto's voice was laced with faux sympathy, the squelching wet sounds of your cunt was like music to his ears, encouraging him to plunge his digits deeper and faster; hitting your g-spot.

"hnghh, g-gonna cum!" you squealed, hands coming up to squeeze his biceps, eyes pooling with tears as you could feel your brain becoming rewired. his palm rubbed against your clit while his fingers abused your hole, completely fucking out your senses as your brain became mush.

your throat released the most pornographic moan ever, clenching onto his fingers as you came hard on them. geto could feel your hole twitch and pulsate, your creamy cum dripping down his fingers and down your inner thighs onto the sofa.

"better than these, right?" he teased, using his free hand to bring your fingers to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on them. you nodded your head, not even comprehending what the fuck he just told you as you tried to calm down from your intense orgasm.

geto pulled his fingers out, making you wince as your hole felt empty. he shoved his cum soaked fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean as you watched the lewd sight of him eating your cum.

"so sweet." geto grinned, seeing you pant and flush into a deep red.

"sugu... p-please, hmphh—" you were cutoff by the sudden kiss, his lips smooching yours pretty noisily, coating them with his spit.

"what you need, sweetheart?" he whispered against your lips, tugging them between his teeth.

"need your cock in me, please." you breathed heavily against his lips, looking up at him with pleading lust glowing eyes. geto smiled against your plump flesh, sitting up on the sofa before pulling you up along with him.

"help yourself then." geto gave you the cue, helping you straddle his lap once again. you sat your bare cunt right on top of his hard cock, as it slipped between your folds, the warm leaky tip brushing against your clit. a soft whimper left your lips, eyes looking down at the porn-worthy sight.

you realized that his t-shirt was still on, pouting as you tugged the hem of it. geto cocked an eyebrow, feeling the fabric being yanked.

"off." you blurted out, the same way he did when undressing you. this made geto laugh, looking at you with teasing, narrowed eyes as he stroked your cheeks.

"so demanding." he playfully sneered, pulling his shirt over his head before discarding it with the rest of the pile of your mixed clothes on the floor. you placed your shaky hands on his shoulders before tracing his defined collarbones.

you moved down to his chest, intentionally brushing over his nipples, which made him shudder from the sensitivity. curious eyes shamelessly roamed around his upper body, seeing the well-sculpted abs he had from working out multiple times a week.

"like what you see?" geto playfully asked, making you scoff.

"like what i see? i'm trying so hard to not eat you right now." you grumbled, attaching your lips back onto his, muffling out his chuckle. you teasingly pinched his nipples to evoke a reaction, and you weren't left disappointed as he jolted, whimpering in your mouth.

you slightly opened your eyes, seeing from the corner of your eyes how his face was turning red from embarrassment.

"you're so adorable, suguru." you giggled, making him tsk as he landed a tight slap on your ass, making you yelp.

"yeah? tell me that when i'm sending you to poundtown." he countered your words, making you roll your eyes with a snort at the comment.

"looking forward to it, sugu." you said in a flirty tone, sending a wink towards his way, making geto's heart thud against his chest. you dug your face in the crook of his neck, kissing his skin as you began to mark it with hickeys.

you could feel his pulse point throb, lightly grazing your teeth against it, making him let out a heavy breath.

"you little minx." he grunted, arms kneading your ass before giving it a few slaps as a punishment, making you moan. his actions made you pout, wanting payback.

you began to slide your hips back and forth on him, feeling his hard cock easily slide between your wet folds. you trembled in his hold, feeling the grip on your waist tighten as you did this a few more times. the lewd wet sound of his girthy cock rubbing your dripping cunt made you even more aroused, his tip bumping into your clit, making you whine.

"hmm, i could cum from this." you shamelessly admitted, grinding yourself harder on him, watching geto bite his lower lip to suppress a moan. this annoyed you as you wanted him to be vocal, pressing your lips on his before shoving your tongue in his mouth, swallowing his moans as you glided your sopping wet cunt over his throbbing cock.

"stop.. i wanna cum inside you." geto said in between his breaths, forcefully stopping your waist as soon as his tip rested on your hole. he looked at you with a dazed look, his large hand coming up to brush your hair away from your neck.

"gonna let me feel you, sweetheart? pretty please?" he said in a low voice, kissing your collarbones before moving up to your neck.

"y-yeah.." you stuttered out, no longer being able to handle this game of teasing anymore. you raised your hips a little, taking a hold of the shaft of his cock, aligning his tip with your hole.

you began to lower yourself on him, slowly entering his fat tip in, your eyes shutting tight as you winced in pain from the sting. geto held onto your waist as support, his fingers gently rubbing your sides.

"there you go, easy, baby." he encouraged you, words being chased by a gruff grunt as you managed to shove a third of his cock inside of you. you could feel your knees slightly shaking, breathing heavily as you gripped onto his shoulder tightly to support yourself.

"need some help?" he gently murmured against your neck, eyes peering up to see tears forming in your eyes as you struggled to take in his cock. you nodded your head, making him hum in acknowledgement. geto sneaked a hand between the both of your bodies, the pad of his thumb stroking your clit.

the sudden mix of the pleasure from stimulating your clit along with the stinging pain of his cock bullying into your hole made your body shake. geto could feel your hole start to relax a little, using the arm around your waist to gently push you down as he continued to play with your clit.

"t-too much, it's too much!" your breath hitched, feeling yourself sinking in a few more inches of his lengthy cock. his mouth latched onto your nipple, sucking on the swollen bud, while his thumb continued to pleasure the tiny bundle of sensitive nerves between your legs.

"nghh~, f-fuck.." you let out a long moan, finally shoving in the last few inches of his cock, completely bottoming out. geto let out a guttural moan, throwing his head back on the sofa, as you both stayed like that for a minute.

"shit, baby, y-you're squeezing me so tight." geto choked out, while you tried to adjust to the stretch of his cock. you slouched your body forwards, hugging him tight as you craved for more skin-to-skin contact with him. geto happily accepted, firmly wrapping his arms around you as his hands stroked your back as you both breathed in each other's scent, molding into each other's body.

"feel so full, sugu, you're so big." you chuckled, laying your head on his shoulder as you pressed tender kisses on his jaw and chin. geto hummed, a proud grin painted on his lips as you stroked his ego.

"is that so?" he turned his head to the side, kissing your forehead. you began to slowly rock your hips, as geto progressed to shallow upward thrusts; the both of you letting out a blissful moan in sync.

you decided to completely lift yourself off of his, only his tip remaining inside you before slamming down on him, knocking the wind out of his lungs. geto looked at you with half-lidded eyes, jaw wide open, as he moaned shamelessly at the tight grip of your dripping cunt.

you adjusted to the size of him, beginning to bounce on his cock while holding onto his chest for support. geto squeezed your ass before giving it a spank, making you squeak.

"fuck, feels so good!" you cried out, feeling your knees burn as your hips went up and down on his dick, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix each time you pushed down. geto pulled you in closer, watching your tits bounce in front of him before capturing one of them in his mouth, sucking harshly.

you cried out in pleasure, beads of sweat beginning to form on your temples as it dripped down the sides of your face. your eyes fell down, watching where you both were connected, seeing how your pussy swallowed his entire cock in one swift motion.

your juices were dripping down on his shaft, wetting his balls and the fabric of the couch below you guys. the vein that decorated the underside of his cock deliciously grazed against your walls.

the living room was filled with heavy breathing, wet skin slapping, the shlick and squelching sounds of your drooling pussy colliding with his cock; along with the mix of moans and curses.

geto released your now swollen nipple from his mouth, his drool coating the bud as he looked at you, completely pussy drunk.

"you don't know how hard it was to resist you. u-ughh, had to fuck my fist to the thought of you every night." geto confessed, making you imagine the picture of him laying on his bed with his legs spread open like a whore, fisting his hard dick while moaning your name.

this alone made your pussy flutter, unintentionally making you squeeze him; earning a gruff groan from the man.

"you liked hearing that, didn't you? dirty girl." he let out a breathy laugh, making you frown as you grew embarrassed at how your body betrayed you.

"shut up, you talk too much." you grumbled before shoving your nipple back in his mouth to hush him and save whatever dignity you had left remaining. geto smirked, playfully giving your nipple a bite.

"suguru!" you yelp as you smacked his upper arm. as an apology, geto swirled his tongue around the bud, pinching the other neglected nipple as he fondled with both of your tits equally.

you could feel heat slowly building up in your lower stomach, that knot tightening feeling once again returning as your thighs began to tremble while you bounced on his cock. geto noticed your struggle, deciding to help you out as he grabbed a hold of your waist, still suckling on your nipple.

suddenly, he began to thrust upwards, his pelvis meeting your clit each time you bounced down on him. the impact of his action made your eyes roll back, feeling your orgasm draw in closer. your hand reached for your clit, rubbing it fast as geto began to increase his pace in thrusting his cock into you as you rode him.

"fuck! g-gonna cum! oh my god— hnnghh, i-i.." your voice died down, mind completely fucked out as you began to babble random shit while geto pounded into your cunt. a ring of cream began to form at the base of his cock, your pussy so incredibly wet that it was easy for him to slide in and out with no problem.

"fucked you dumb already? you're so needy." geto mumbled against your tits as they smothered him while you tried to chase your orgasm. your shaky hand reached behind his head, smoothly pulling off the hair tie that kept his hair in a bun.

you watched his ebony locks fall on his shoulder, nearly cumming right then and there at the sight of him.

god, he looked so babygirl.

geto's face was completely flushed, swollen lips suckling on your nipples, hair tousled, and sweat dripping down his face as his eyes were closed shut.

your fingers found home in his hair, tangling with the smooth locks as you pushed him closer to your chest, bouncing on his cock while he thrusted upwards in you.

geto felt your pussy twitch and squeeze around him, indicating that you were gonna cum soon. so, he made sure that his movements remained sharp and fast; plowing into your messy cunt, his balls were completely coated with your slick as they slapped against your ass.

"make a mess on me, sweetheart." he said, not sure if you were able to hear him from how fucked out you were. but, you didn't need to hear him as with a loud moan being ripped out of your throat, the intense stimulation on your clit and nipple along with the harsh pistoning of his cock into your cunt made you gush around him.

geto let out a soft whimper, feeling the warmth of your juices leaking down on his shaft. with a few more desperate thrusts as his tip brushes against your cervix, he came deep into your pussy. you shuddered at the feeling of his thick cum painting your walls, as he dumped in a huge load inside.

you both were a moaning mess, breathing heavily as your mixed fluids began to messily trickle down his cock. geto released your nipple from his mouth with a 'pop', looking at you through his fuzzy vision.

he noticed the dried streaks of your tears on your cheeks, the corner of your mouth with drool. you tugged on his hair, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss full of tongue and the sound of teeth clashing, riding out your highs with small thrusts.

you sucked on his lower lip before releasing it, pressing one last soft kiss on his lips before pulling away. you looked at him in a daze, pushing away the single messy bangs that covered his eye.

with his cock still plunged deep inside you, you hugged him while resting your head on his shoulder; trying to cool down from your orgasm and catch your breath.

"you okay, sweetheart?" geto asked softly, his fingers coming up to your cheek to stroke the burning hot flesh. you hummed with a nod.

"yeah. you feel so warm, sugu. don't wanna let go." you mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on his pulse point. geto decided to indulge into you, wrapping his arms around you as he held you close, both of your heartbeats synchronizing.

"we should clean up soon, it's well past dinner time." he deeply chuckled, making you sigh.

"okay." you responded, picking your head up before leaning in to give him one last kiss. geto looked at you with playful eyes as you gave him a shy smile.

oh yeah, his plan worked out perfectly.

---

"mmm, this tastes so good, sugu!" you gasped, trying to speak with your mouth full, as you praised the taste of his food. geto made one of your favorite dishes, coconut shrimp curry with rice; his culinary skills were seriously no joke.

"hm, make sure to eat up then." geto chuckled, ruffling your hair before taking a bite out of his own plate. you both ate peacefully, talking about each other’s day along with making jokes here and there; as if he didn't rearrange your guts like twenty minutes ago.

"y/n?" he suddenly called out, making you look up at him with anticipating eyes.

"hm?" you hummed in response. you watched him clear his throat before playing with the shrimp on his plate with his chopsticks.

"i didn't want that to be like a one time thing between you and me. the thing is— i've liked you for a while now." geto confessed, making you nearly choke on your mouthful as you quickly chewed on your food, swallowing it.

"i like you too, sugu. although, i thought i was being pretty obvious." you sheepishly smiled, averting your gaze away from him as you grew shy.

"i guess i was being a little dumb. but, masturbating while moaning my name was definitely a game changing sign!" he teased, watching your nostrils flare up in embarrassment as your cheeks now became tinted with a soft blush.

"suguru!" you threw a balled up napkin towards him, making him burst out into a fit of laughter.

"i'm kidding! but, i won't lie, that shit made me so hard." geto casually stated, making you drop your eyes to the table.

"god, how much did you hear?" you gasped, growing a little worried. geto grabbed his chin, pretending to think hard.

"hmm, let's see. up till the part where you were like nghh~ need your cock inside my pussy, sugu! oh my god, i'm gonna cum!" he imitated your moans in an obnoxiously high-pitched voice, making you cover your face in embarrassment. geto let out a quick laugh at the sight, making you pout.

"damn, can't even fuck myself in peace." you mumbled to yourself, making him snort.

"well, now you can fuck me instead." geto nonchalantly replied with a smirk, making you choke on your food.

"god, you're so shameless!"

"i was being straightforward."

"whatever." you sighed out, rolling your eyes.

"go on a date with me this friday to the carnival." he suddenly offered, his smirk now replaced with a warm smile. your heart fluttered, feeling it stuck in your throat as your lips curled upwards.

"i'd love that." you accepted, and the both of you continued to finish up dinner.

since geto cooked for you both, you insisted on doing the dishes in return, although he tried to convince you that he had it covered. nonetheless, you were pretty stubborn, and geto decided to step away and let you clean up.

he made his way to the living room, sitting on the sofa as he grabbed his phone, clicking on the second person on his favorited contact list. geto waited patiently as he fixed his hair on the camera and after two rings, he finally picked up.

"you call me at the absolutely worst times, suguru. i'm literally about to dick down my girlfriend." gojo whined on the other side of the line, a frown tugging on his lips, making geto roll his eyes at his best friend's complaint.

"let's grab dinner tomorrow. i got something to tell you." geto smirked, and as if gojo telepathically knew what his best friend was gonna tell him, the white haired male gasped.

"no fucking way!"

[softspiderling]

illicit affairs - part two | r.c

summary:

"Speaking of, why don’t you stay over tonight? It’s late, and I don’t want you walking home by yourself.”

“You’re not gonna drive me?” You asked with a pout and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m too tired, don’t make me. Just stay over.”

“What? And leave in the morning like I’m one of your hook ups? Please.”

OR; Rafe makes an outrageous suggestion and you? You give in.

pairing: rafe cameron x reader

warnings: mention of drugs, talk about sex (nothing graphic yet) but the later parts will have smut, so 18+ MDNI!

word count: 2k

author's note: pt. two out so soon?? there's gotta be smth fishy going on 🤭we finally get into the PLOT! i hope you enjoy my lovelies, don't forget to leave a comment/like/reblog or share your thoughts with me in the inbox.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

pt. two: "it's born from just one single glance"

A week after the party, it was the first Friday in a while where the four of you didn’t go to a party. After spending a day out of the sea to test out Topper’s new boat, you got picked up some pizza and settled down in Rafe’s living room, where you were still in the same spot several hours later. The empty pizza cartons were stacked on the floor and the four of you strewn out on the couch and various seats.

“You want another drink?”

Rafe was waving his empty glass in front of you, a lonely ice cube clinking in it, an expected eyebrow raised.

You squinted at him, nodding. “Can you get me a coke please?”

“Sure.”

Kelce perked up in his seat at the prospect of another drink. “Hey, can you get me another beer?”

“No,” Rafe answered, without even looking back as he left for the kitchen. “You know where the fridge is.”

“What?” Kelce muttered with a frown, looking over to you as he slumped back down. “You know where the fridge is, why is he getting you a coke?”

You only shrugged with a grin, making yourself comfortable on the couch now that you had more space, while Topper clapped Kelce on the back in consolation.

“Come on man, you know she’s his favorite.”

“Hey!”

Grabbing a pillow from the couch, you shucked it at Topper, making him yelp when it hit him square in the face.

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not right next to you,” you scowled. “And I’m not Rafe’s favorite.”

“You’re a clown if you actually believe that.”

“Fuck you, you’re a clown.”

Topper tossed the pillow back at you, narrowly missing your head by an inch and the pillow fell to the floor behind the couch, landing just in front of Rafe’s feet as he returned.

“I was gone for five minutes, what are you guys fighting about now?”

“Precious over here thinks she’s not your favorite.”

You glowered at the other two boys, while Rafe settled back on the couch next to you, pressing a can of coke into your hands. He took a sip of his drink, eyeing you briefly and shrugged, pursing his lips in agreement.

“Nah, you’re definitely my favorite.”

You stuck your tongue out at Topper when he gave you a knowing look, instead focusing on opening your coke. “Whatever. It doesn’t mean anything, you two shitheads don’t make it hard for me to be anyone’s favorite.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Kelce grunted with a frown and you raised a brow at him.

“You literally had sex in Rafe’s bed last year,” you said, before turning your attention to Topper. “And you’re still obsessed with Sarah.”

Rafe let out a noise, making clear that he was fully agreeing with you. “What she said.”

Topper, while satisfied he had proven his point, still rolled his eyes and Kelce crossed his arms, annoyed.

“I hate it when they team up like this.”

“Shut up and get your beer.”

The next couple of hours passed easily, just as it always did when the four of you came together to talk shit. While you did enjoy going to parties every now and then, you really appreciated just hanging out with your friends and talking about everything and nothing in the safety of the four walls of Rafe’s home.

Only you and your boys. Just the way you liked it.

“Alright, I think it’s time for me to go,” Topper said, breaking up the group with a yawn, shaking his head to stay awake as he sat up. “I’m beat.”

“Can you give me a ride?” Kelce asked, standing up and Topper nodded, turning to you.

“Do you need me to drop you off too?”

You stretched your arms, legs long draped over Rafe’s lap as you laid lengthwise on the couch. It was nearing one am and you really should make your way home, but you were far too comfortable to move, having spent most of the day in the sun, which was catching up to you now.

“I think I might stay for a while longer, thanks though.”

Topper clicked his tongue, ruffling your hair, messing it up for good measure as he and Kelce said their good byes, their voices getting quieter as they strolled to the front, the door shutting in its hinges. It wasn’t long after until you could heard Topper’s truck start, and then pull off the estate grounds.

Finally, it was quiet enough for you to hear the music, which was drowned out by Kelce’s constant yapping. You loved him but he was such a chatter box when he drank beer.

“Isn’t Sarah coming home tonight?” you asked into the sudden quietness, combing through your hair with your fingers, trying to get rid of the knots that have formed since you’d laid on the couch for the whole night. The estate had been quiet apart from the four of you causing raucous in the living room.

“Please,” Rafe scoffed. “She’s staying with John B more nights than not, I’m this close to kicking her out for real.”

“Oh come on,” you laughed, leaning up to shove his arm a little. “She’s in love. Leave her alone. And don’t act like you don’t enjoy being the man of the house and having it all to yourself.”

Rafe grinned to himself, shrugging his shoulders a bit like you weren’t absolutely right. Like you said, you knew him. “Eh. Maybe. House tends to get a little quiet sometimes... Speaking of, why don’t you stay over tonight? It’s late, and I don’t want you walking home by yourself.”

“You’re not gonna drive me?” You asked with a pout and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m too tired, don’t make me. Just stay over.”

“What? And leave in the morning like I’m one of your hook ups? Please.”

“Give me a break,” Rafe huffed. “You know damn well you’re not one of my hook ups. They don’t get to stay till the morning,” he paused, turning his head to look at you inquisitively, and you knew that look all too well. He was about to be nosy. “What about yours, anyways?”

“My what?”

“Your hook ups, precious. Haven’t seen anyone around since Jack.”

You shrugged. “Cuz there wasn’t anyone else since Jack, you know that. And he wasn’t a hook up, he was my boyfriend.”

He was quiet, but you could basically hear the gears in his head turning. “I know you’re not into hook ups and shit, but don’t you need to get off sometimes?”

“And risk hooking up with weirdos like Moany? No thank you. I don’t need anyone else to get off.”

Rafe rolled his eyes. “I know, jesus. I’m just saying… Sex by yourself isn’t as good as sex with another person. If you know what they like. Not everyone has freaky requests like Monique. And if you’re compatible, you know the sex can be insane.”

You eyed him suspiciously, not sure if you liked which direction this was going. He wasn’t about to suggest the two of you having sex…. Right? Because that would be just crazy.

“… jus’ getting sick of having to get to know a new girl every time, ‘s exhausting.”

“You know you can have sex with a person more than once right?”

Rafe scoffed, leaning his hands behind his head. “Yeah, but then they start getting comfortable. I don’t need that right now.”

You waved your hands around, trying to stop Rafe’s train of thought before it could get any further.

“Rafe, stop beating around the bush. The fuck are you on right now?”

He swirled his drink around, downing the last of it before shoving the glass on the table, looking at you.

“What if… We fucked?”

“What?” you stared at him incredulously, like he had just grown a second head.

“I mean, not relationship wise. Casual. Friends with benefits.”

“Friends with benefits,” you echoed, dryly. “Are you insane?”

Rafe scoffed, shaking his head at you, not bothering with a reply. You thought that was the end of it, trying to calm your heart down, as it was nearly jumping out of your throat, when you felt Rafe’s hand splaying across your bare legs. His fingers brushed your inner thigh, making you tense and you glared up at him.

“Seriously Rafe?”

“Seriously Rafe?” Rafe mocked you, reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ear, the other hand starting to trace circles into the skin of your thigh, like it was the most normal thing for him to do. “We both know that if you didn’t want me touching you, you’d have kicked me half ways across the room already.”

You wanted to protest, but your words died halfway down your tongue, knowing it was no use with the way Rafe was looking at you. Also, he was a 100% right. Turning away, you stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore how his finger tips left your skin tingling, thinking of the most random things to calm yourself down.

There was no use of lying to yourself, a part of you wanted to say yes.

You knew Rafe didn’t do relationships, has never had a girlfriend in all the years you’d been friends. What if being friends with benefits was the closest thing you could be for Rafe? Not only his best friend, but a step further? What if this was all you could get with him?

“This is a bad idea.”

“Why?”

“You’re my best friend.”

“Exactly. You’re my best friend, I don’t have to tell you anything because you know exactly what I like and what I don’t.”

“Not when it comes to sex!”

“Okay okay, calm down, I was just making a suggestion.”

Rafe trailed off, dropping the topic, his fucking hand still on your thigh. He wasn’t looking at you, but you could tell that he was biting back a grin, and you hated to think that you were going to give in.

“We’re not telling anyone, you hear me? Not a single soul. Especially not Top and Kelce, they would never let us live this down.”

He turned his head, the corner of his mouth ticking up knowingly. He was your best friend after all, he knew what to say to convince you of his argument. “Those two knuckleheads don’t need to know everything we do,” Rafe said as he leaned in, but you stopped him halfway, your hand on his chest.

“If this affects our friendship in any way, or or…. If it gets awkward or someone… Just, we stop, okay? No lying to get your dick wet.”

“Have I ever lied to you, precious?”

“Uh, yes. Remember when you, Top and Kelce snuck into my gard- oomph.”

Your sentence was cut short when Rafe pressed his lips against you in a soft kiss, his hand cupping the back of the neck. He pulled away, his breath hot on your face. Your lips parted a bit, shock coursing through your veins. You had wondered how it would feel to kiss Rafe for so long, and you had to admit, that the real deal was so much better than anything you could’ve imagined.

“You talk too much,” he mumbled against your lips and you rolled your eyes, brought out of your haze. This was still Rafe. Your best friend.

“Shut up.”

Fisting his shirt, you pulled him closer to you, lips hot as they interlocked. He leaned forward, both of his knees bracketing your waist, one hand moving from the back of your neck to the front, so he could cup your face. Suddenly, you were surrounded by him and if you weren’t so distracted by Rafe’s tongue slipping into your mouth, you’d be freaking out right now. This felt like a fever dream; your hands moving automatically down his torso, sneaking under his shirt, nails grazing his chiseled abs and when Rafe let out a honest to god whimper, you knew you were done for.

There was no going on back.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

author's note: am i sorry about the cliffhanger? ask me later👀

[whaleofatjme1920]

Kinktober Day 8: Step Right Up! Win A Prize! [Laughing Jack X F!Reader]

Warnings: slight degradation, cum stuffing MINORS DNI

AN: look. It’s been a busy day. I started writing this while I was waiting for a movie to start at a movie theatre (I would never be on my phone while the movie is actively playing trust)

AN: I had so much more written. But then. It got. Deleted. And my inspiration went out the window. Whoops.

Kinktober Masterlist

Reblogs are appreciated!

Your eyes widen as you see the tall, lanky clown before you leer over your open legs. He’s got a smirk on his lips as he eyes your pretty cunt, his own cock dripping with precum over how you glisten for him.

“I’m so glad you decided to step up,” he coos as he presses the head of his cock against the lips of your pussy. “The carnival was rather dull before I saw you,” he muses. Laughing Jack hums softly as he slides the tip up and down, coating himself with your slick. It makes him chuckle when he sees you shiver with delight, like you can’t help but give into him.

It was your idea to go to the carnival. Your idea to spend the night looking at ‘all the pretty lights’ and getting some funnel cake because of course you happened to crave some. And it was your idea to listen to the chants and exclamations of one of the carneys in his attempt to rope you in.

His words were sweet and addictive, and he was challenging your ego.

Here you are now, laid out on your back just in order to win a stupid prize. You can hear carnival music off in the distance. You just had to let him challenge you, didn’t you?

Take x amount of creampies and win a prize!

One might be a small plastic dagger, cheap and available at any dollar store. Three would guarantee a small stuffed animal. And five would be one of the big stuffed animals! The big prizes that everyone sees but no one actually expects to get!

“C’mon, open up that pretty cunt for me,” Laughing Jack mutters to himself as he shoved himself inside of you. He revels in how you gasp and claw at anything you can get your hands on, even a little at him in an attempt to ground yourself. It’s cute, almost.

He loves how tight you are. He starts to rut instantly, not caring about how you feel or how you adjust. This is his game to play, and you agreed to his rules! His large, clawed hands move towards your breasts. He thumbs one of your nipples.

“Such a slut, getting hard over something like this,” he giggles to himself as he ruts into you harder. The sound of skin on skin reverberates around his stall. He doesn’t care who’s going to hear him, not like anyone would bother him. It’s his circus, after all.

He ruts harder and harder. Laughing Jack isn’t shy that he’s using your body for his pleasure. He can head you gasp as you take his thick cock even deeper. “Such a tight little hole,” he muses.

You finally sink your nails into his forearms. You listen to him pound into you and try to hold on. Your legs are shaking and trembling. In a vain attempt to find yourself again, you wrap and lock your legs around his waist, screaming when he presses in you harder.

“Oh fuck!” You sob as you feel his balls slap against your ass. He’s going to stuff you as much as he can, that’s for sure. You figured creampie was something kind of… adult… but you didn’t want to assume when you originally stepped up to talk to him.

Turns out that your instincts were right.

You feel your cunt gushing all over you when he slams you into the ground. Your eyes squeezed shut as he fills you with hot, sticky cream. It makes soft little squelching noises from the sheer amount, liquid strings connecting the two of you from where your bodies are intertwined.

“Little cum slut!” He gleefully teases you as he sees your pussy flutter and beg for more. You’re already bursting with his load. He wonders how much more you can take. Laughing Jack manages to forcefully detach your legs from his waist before he folds you like a lawn chair. “Mmm, perfect position for cum sluts, wouldn’t you agree?” He asks rhetorically.

“Wait what—?” You reply in a half daze as you feel your legs rest on his broad, tall shoulders. He curls you more, your body his plaything as he bends you how he pleases. Laughing Jack giggles to himself as he shoves himself inside of you once more.

He hums softly as he pushes the back of your thighs with his hands. “Take it, you slut,” he coos sweetly to you. “Take it. Don’t you want a bigger prize?” He teases.

You feel your eyes rolling up from the pleasure. His cock is so big, girthy in a perfect way, oddly striped in black and white but he’s got wins and his thickness is delicious. So, you look up at him through your haze and nod. “Y-Yeah, I can take more,” you cutely answer him. Your head isn’t all there but that’s okay; Laughing Jack knows your true intentions.

He hilts deep inside of you and groans as his cum fills you once more, almost bursting you with how much of himself he’s stuffing into your overworked pussy. “Atta girl,” he grins, “you wanted the big prize? Keep taking it like the little whore you are and you’ll get it.”

[takimakiiiii]

make tacos, not war

part4! to the cosmic girl records 

¡cosmic girl records!

summary: tacos, tequila, beaches, the mexican grand prix, beefing with charles and getting roasted by the grid, anything else? 

olliebearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader 

fc!: gorgeous girls on pinterest all credits go to their rightful owners!

disclaimer!: there are sensitive and offensive jokes used below so do not interact if you are not ok with those things! If there is anything that i have included that is seriously inappropriate and harmful to people contact me and let me know so i can do my best to make sure everyone is happy!

a/n: AHHHHHHH! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported the ¡cosmic girl records! so far it seriously makes my day to see all the likes and reblogs.

warnings!: talking about addiction to alcohol (the 2019 rookies call y/n an alcoholic), joking about death, y/n calls checo mr taco man, swearing, offensive jokes, british slander i’m sorry 😞, stealing of best friends, the knife emoji?

word count!: 1.6k

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, georgerussell64 and 4,472,382 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: siesta, fiesta, tequila and repeat! 

tagged olliebearman

view 23,392 comments 

 bestie1: while i rot away in my pj’s watching friends smh 😔

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 unfortunatelyy/n: I LITERALLY ASKED IF U WANTED TO COME TOO????

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 bestie1: oh yeah 

user1: SHE’S SO PRETTY TF?? 

 user2: the third pic 😍

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 user3: the first pic 😍

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 user4: the second pic 😍 

 olliebearman: the first pic: moments before disaster 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: don’t expose me like that???

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 user9: hittin’ the man with the triple question mark, shit’s about to get real

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 olliebearman: she fell into the water.

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OPEN THE DOOR 

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 user12: GIRL WHAT

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 olliebearman: NO STOP TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE FRONT DOOR YOU PSYCHO

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 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s fine. your windows open

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 olliebearman: WHAT 

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 user5: is he still alive 

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 user6: he may be dead i fear 

 unfortunatelyy/n: update: oliver james bearman is no longer a problem in today’s society 😄

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 landonorris: damn hittin him with the full government name is cold 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: shut up what do you know 

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 landonorris: more than you that’s for sure 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHY CAN’T U JUST LEAVE ME IN PEACE 

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 landonorris: if i remember correctly, YOU were the one who wanted to be friends 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: I WAS 5. i was young, dumb and foolish, i didn’t know what i wanted 😔

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 landonorris: @georgerussell64 @alex_albon 

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 georgerussell64: hmm, i smell a liar 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: tf u sniffing around for mf 

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 alex_albon: damn so aggressive 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: shut up your girlfriend’s cheating on you with me 

|  alex_albon: 🥲

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 user7: alex’s smiling through the pain fr 

user8: the 2019 rookie’s goal this year: make y/n suffer 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 schecoperez: i approve, nice photos 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: thank you mr taco man 

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 user9: MR TACO MAN HELP

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 user10: okay now i’m convinced they’re besties 

 liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user11: I could use a glass of tequila right about now 

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, georgerussell64, alexandrasaintmleux and 6,382,493 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: tequila, tamales, a boy, what more could a girl want?

tagged olliebearman

view 93,392 comments 

 user1: did ollie so dirty in the third pic 😭

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 user2: that’s what happens when u cross y/n 😭

 olliebearman: i take it you’re still mad at me?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: yes ❤️🔪

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 user7: NOT THE KNIFE EMOJI 

 carlossainz55: remind me again to never offend you in any way 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: @olliebearman watch and learn 

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 olliebearman: ok 😔

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 landonorris: yeah ollie 😒

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 olliebearman: why are you attacking me too 😭

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 landonorris: idk it’s fun 

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 olliebearman: wow. 

user3: we love savage y/n, may she reign forever 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 landonorris: y/n confirmed alcoholic  

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 georgerussell64: y/n confirmed clown 

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 alex_albon: y/n confirmed delusional girl 

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 charles_leclerc: y/n confirmed idiot 

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 user8: damn 😭

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 unfortunatelyy/n: DAMN WHAT DID I DO TO YA’LL 

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 charles_leclerc: live. 

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 alex_albon: steal my girlfriend.

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 georgerussell64: take my phone charger WITHOUT my permission

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 landonorris: @charles_leclerc what he said

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unfortunatelyy/n: . . . I-

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 landonorris: absolutely speechless, completely baffled, rendered loquacious 

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 user5: i didn’t realise lando had that many words in his vocabulary 

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 georgerussell64: okay pop off shakespeare i see u 👀

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 unfortunatelyy/n: I HATE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY YOU @charles_leclerc

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 charles_leclerc: it’s okay we all hate you too! 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: i don’t usually swear but you charles marc herve percival leclerc are one little shit 

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 charles_leclerc: DIE. 

|

 user6: oof his ego took a hit with the full name 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: after you, ladies first 😌

|

 charles_leclerc: @olliebearman come and get your girlfriend she’s escaped her cage 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: HEY THAT’S NOT FAIR @alexandrasaintmleux I’M ABOUT TO MURDER YOUR BOYFRIEND COME AND GET HIM BEFORE I DO

|

 user4: HELP GUYS THE KIDS ARE FIGHTING 

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 olliebearman: @alexandrasaintmleux gf/bf duty calls 😔

|

 alexandrasaintmleux: 😔

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, lewishamilton, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt and 3,382,382 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: ready for this weekend! 

tagged olliebearman

view 18,372 comments

 olliebearman: thank you for the nice photos this time 🥰

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: you’re welcome peasant 

|

 olliebearman: i can never win around here 

|

 user3: poor ollie 😔

user4: THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE IS KILLING ME 

user1: guys we’ve officially lost her to ferrari 😔

 landonorris: traitor. 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: excuse me child

|

 landonorris: don’t play dumb, you abandoned mclaren and here i was thinking we were best friends 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME IN MY OWN INSTA COMMENTS FACE ME LIKE A MAN 

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 landonorris: don’t change the subject

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 user2: bro took a hit on his ego with that one 

|

 landonorris: i’m calling in the reinforcements @charles_leclerc @georgerussell64 @alex_albon

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: STOP 🛑✋

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 georgerussell64: she can’t even admit it 

|

 alex_albon: shame on you 

|

 charles_leclerc: why’d u call me i literally drive for ferrari

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 landonorris: cuz u roast her the best

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 unfortunatelyy/n: u guys suck

|

 charles_leclerc: he’s not wrong 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: I HATE YOU 

|

 charles_leclerc: the feeling is mutual 

|

 landonorris: you not only betrayed me but the other idiots too

|

 alex_albon: i speak for all williams fans when i say FOR SHAME 

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 georgerussell64: FOR SHAMEEEEEE

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 lilymhe: 🤨 whatchu hatin on my wifey for @alex_albon @georgerussell64

|

 carmenmmundt: yeah? 🤨

|

 alex_albon: @georgerussell64 help what do we do

|

 georgerussell64: if anyone asks, i’ve left the country.

|

 user5: GEORGE HELP 

|

 alex_albon: how could you abandon me like that 

|

 user6: such a fake friend fr 

liked by landonorris, olliebearman, oscarpiastri, georgerussell64, alex_albon, lilymhe and 6,829,200 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: cheat meal!

tagged olliebearman

view 38,292 comments 

user1: she’s never beating the alcoholic allegations im afraid 😔

 user2: WHY DOES THE FOOD LOOK SO GOOD, I’M BOOKING A FLIGHT TO MEXICO RN

|

 user3: get zambrero?

|

 user2: STFU IT’S NOT THE SAME 

 landonorris: caught in 4k 📸

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 olliebearman: @unfortunatelyy/n YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO POST IT ON YOUR INSTA 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: darling, every photo i take is for my insta 

|

 user4: oo that gave me the chills “darling”

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 user5: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER OLLIE SHE’S BRITISH NOW 

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 user6: y/n now: 🤓🇬🇧

|

 ferrari: @olliebearman pick up the phone 

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 olliebearman: NO. 

|

 user7: RUN OLLIE RUNNNN 

user8: god bless y/n for these photos may she reign forever 🙏

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user9: smh, guys we’ve lost y/n to the tequila, only god can help her now 

user10: get yourself someone who looks at you the way ollie looks at that bowl of food 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

georgerussell64: why would you expose ollie like that, let my guy have his cheat meal without the entire internet coming after him 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: woah what happened to you 

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 georgerussell64: im afraid to ask what you mean 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: who knew george russell would vouch for MY BOYFRIEND 

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 georgerussell64: well it’s better than pushing him into the barriers every weekend 

|

 olliebearman 😰

 user11: i have an odd itching feeling that the 2019 rookies still hate ollie for dating their younger sister 

|

 user12: ya think 

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, francisca.cgomes and 5,382,493 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: i cant. it’s race day. 

view 38,492 comments 

 landonorris: wow. exposing me like that. i hope u die alone 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: doing it for the plot 🤷‍♀️

|

 user7: AMEN SISTER 🙏🗣️

user1: poor lando, what was the tea tho 👀

user7: y/n’s got her priorities set straight 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user2: SPILL THE TEA LANDOOOOOOO 

 carlossainz55: what is tea 

|

 olliebearman: it’s a drink??

|

 olliebearman: oh.

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 unfortunatelyy/n: it’s okay i still love you 

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 olliebearman: ok 😔

 charles_leclerc: SPILL THE TEA Y/N 🗣️

|

 carlossainz55: 🗣️🗣️

|

 maxvertappen1: 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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 georgerussell64: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

|

 schecoperez: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

|

 landonorris: IF YOU TELL THEM YOU DIE 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: threatening me in my own comments, who do u think you are? |

 landonorris: . . .  your best friend . . . ? 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: nah, oscar’s my best friend now 

|

 landonorris: @oscarpiastri ?

|  oscarpiastri: @unfortunatelyy/n: YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: whoops 🫢

|  landonorris: i see how it is 😔

 user4: still waiting to know what the tea is 

|

 landonorris: YOU’LL NEVER KNOW 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: hm, we’ll see 👀

|

 landonorris:😰

user5: oscar and y/n best friends confirmed 👍

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 user6: the y/n i know would spill the tea 👀

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 👀

|

 user6: HELP Y/N 

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and 8,382,859 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: love you to the moon and back a million times, always and forever, congratulations my love 🐻❤️

olliebearman: love you to the moon and back 🌙💞

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user1: LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK? MY LOVE??? ARE U KIDDING ME 😭😭

user2: it’s the onions. it’s the onions. it’s the onions

user3: im not crying you are 

user4: homeboy’s turning 1 

user5: i can’t wait for lando to pop up in the comments it’s like whenever y/n posts he’s summoned or sum shit like that

user6: ah yes, young love 

user8: OMG I’M CRYINGGGG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

landonorris: @olliebearman u know, orange would look better on you, there’s a free seat available here at  mclaren 👀

|

 oscarpiastri: i thought you said we were okay 

|

 user9: why do they sound like an old couple tf 😭😭

|

 landonorris: i say a lot of things i don’t mean, traitor 😤

|

 oscarpiastri: you’re acting like a child 

|

 landonorris: no you are!

|

 oscarpiastri: says the guy who just used an exclamation mark in an insta comment 

|

 landonorris: its official. i’m going to dive bomb you off the track next week 

|

 oscarpiastri: what? after your DNF? cuz i don’t think that’s possible 

|

 user8: DAYUM 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: ooooooh he got u there @landonorris 

|

 landonorris: I HATE YOU, YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: i can’t have stolen him if he was my friend first 

|

 landonorris: wHaT. 

|

 oscarpiastri: ah yes, the magic of childhood friends 

|

 user7: HELP WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT 

|

 landonorris: but she’s american and you’re australian. . . right?

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: mhm sure 

|

 olliebearman: 😦

|

 landonorris: 😦

taglist time!: @ilivbullyingjeongin

a/n: thank you for reading if you got to the end! I hope it made you laugh, have a great day xx

[moon-huny]

Stole the Moon - Chapter One

CW: My content is not for anyone under 18. Mostly suggestive flirting and mentions of kidnapping and imprisonment. Reader character has sustained head injury. Oh, you also get choked. Buggy is an a-hole, but that's why we all love him.

Word Count: 2K

Summary: You've been kidnapped and can't remember a thing. Good news! Ole Captain Buggy is here to make you feel more like yourself.

A/N: Alright this is my first ever fan fiction to grace the website we all know and love. I originally wanted to be a fic writer when I joined tumblr, and now, my time has finally come. This Buggy is very much based off of OPLA, since I never actually got into the anime until recently. Tying to keep him in character, but the plot is very much of my own design.

Being new to this, I would love any feedback you might have. Likes, comments and reblogs are welcome, and would make my little heart sing. Okay, that's all, enjoy.

masterlist ✧˖°

• next

“Hey, sleeping beauty, wake up.” 

You woke to his voice. Your eyes slowly opening – or attempted to open – before becoming conscious of a stabbing aching pain racking your skull. You rolled over on your side, cradling your head in your hands and shutting your eyes tight. The soft candle light in the dark of your room eased the pain, but whatever relief you found was immediately wiped out by the shrill sound of him speaking.

“Ya know, I thought they killed you.” You could hear his heavy steps pacing the room, the sound too loud, his voice too harsh. He spoke with such levity, a certain air of nonchalance in his tone. He thought this was funny.

“I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy getting you aboard my ship,” he paused, grabbing a chair and dragging it across the floor. A high pitched sound emitting from wood scraping wood – a sound he made on purpose just to cause more pain. You winced.

“But I didn’t think my crew hurt you this badly.” A tone of mock concern fell from his lips. “You must have put up a real knock out fight.”

He sat across from you. Spreading his legs and leaning over to get closer. Your body was curled up on a poorly made and uncomfortable plank of wood some might dare to call a bed. The “blankets” around you were nothing more than used burlap and tattered bits of sail.

He got quiet, you heard the ocean and people stomping and shouting above you. Then, so quietly, just above a whisper, “I don’t usually keep damaged goods, but you’re much better off lying here than wreaking havoc on my ship.”

It took all your strength to peel open your eyes and pull your hands away from your head. Breathing heavily, you pushed yourself upright. The clench in your jaw both from the pain you were in and the anger you felt.

Through your blurry vision, you could just barely make out a red nose. His eyes were piercing green, like the ocean after a storm. The clown makeup, the bright blue hair, you’d seen his wanted poster before.

Buggy the Clown – wanted for 15,000,000 Berry.

“I’ll burn this whole ship down,” you said. “I’ll sink it to the bottom of the East Blue.” 

Your threat came out much weaker than you intended. You were fighting nausea and an intense dizziness you were struggling to keep under control. It seems the clown caught on. He gently pushed his palm into your forehead with a flourish causing you to fall back down onto the bed gripping either side of your head in your hands.

“Aw see,” he said, standing to lean over your body. “That’s why you’re gonna stay right here,” he said, punctuating the last two words.

He made his way to the exit and grabbed the barred door. He pulled it shut with a loud clatter. You felt the metal sound resonate in your skull causing you to push your palms into your eyes.

“Night night, doll! We’ll chat some more tomorrow.” A loud cackling laugh resounded down the hallway. It made you want to scream.

///

And so, he came back to torture you everyday. Never brought you food or water, instead opting to send random crew members each visit. He didn’t want you making any friends. The only constant was one meal at night and a prompt visit from him following. He never said much, and if he did, you could hardly recall what you spoke about.

You started feeling better. You were able to get up, start walking around your prison. You clocked that you’d been at sea only four days. One porthole you could see out of – if you climbed some precarious boxes – told you you were in the middle of nowhere. Far away from any visible land.

The sun was setting, the sky turning a gorgeous orange color and the ocean turning pink in return. His boots thumped down the stairs, you could hear him shouting up towards the deck, “Hey, shit for brains, if I didn’t make myself clear earlier, I want to be docked in that harbor YESTERDAY! GET. A. MOVE ON!” 

Wherever this circus boat was headed, it was moving fast, but clearly not fast enough. What was the hurry? What was the clown’s goal? And with so little in the cargo hold … It wasn’t like he had a huge haul. Were we being followed by another ship? You didn’t ever see anyone from your tiny window, and the conversations above were so muffled that gathering any kind of intelligence was near impossible.

“HONEY, I’M HOME!”

You ran from your porthole back onto the bed, pulling the blankets up around you. You did your best to slow your breathing and pretend you were asleep.

“Oh sweets,” he sighed, draping himself through the bars. “I know you’re awake.”

The smile you knew he had on, the sickeningly sweet way he spoke to you, it made you angry. You heard the door unlock and slowly swing open. 

You were feeling stronger. Though the ship was in the middle of nowhere, if you could just surprise him, lock him up long enough to get to a lifeboat. You could get away.

“Doll, enough games, okay? It's only fun when I want to play, and I really don’t feel like playing with my toys right now.”

He got closer, close enough you decided. You sprang from the bed making a move to pull any number of the knives from his belt. As you grabbed for his waist, you felt a gloved hand wrap itself around your throat and push you against the wall.

“Oh ho ho, you have GOT to be KIDDING.” He laughed hysterically. “I mean wow, honey, I knew you were bold but I didn’t take you for an idiot,” he spat the last insult inches from your face tightening his grip. Your hands flew up to his wrist attempting to loosen the strangling grip he had on you.

His body pressed to yours, his knee slotting itself in the space between your legs. You were fully pinned, unable to move with the full weight of the pirate against you.

That’s when you heard the long knife unsheathe itself from his belt. The sharp metal pushing into your side. Your eyes, once full of defiance, widened to reflect the fear you felt. Your eyebrows pressing together in a pleading look as your lungs burned, the need for air growing stronger.

“Mhmm, I knew I’d like that face on you,” he whispered. “You gonna be a good girl if I let you go?” You nodded slowly, then felt the knife push impossibly further to the flesh of your hip. The nod quickened, your eyes clamping shut, preparing for the worst.

Then, he let you drop. Your hands flying to your throat, bruising surely setting in, as you gasped for air.

“I told you, doll, not in the mood to play,” he said, sheathing the weapon. “I have something I need from you.”

He nodded in the direction of the small table and stools. You hesitantly pulled yourself upright, sharpened gaze never once leaving his larger figure. You were like a mouse in a cage with a snake – look away and you might be his next meal.

You sat across one another as he pulled a map from his coat. His large gloved hands smoothed the cotton-soft paper out in front of you. The candlelight flickered over the page, the night finally setting in, the air growing colder. 

The thin slip-like dress you wore did barely enough to retain your modesty. You pulled your arms across your chest, staving off the cold and attempting to cover your chest. Sitting there with him eyeing you across the table, you became more aware of your body and the night air prickling your skin. If he was attracted to your shape, he didn’t show it.

“You know what this is?” he asked.

“A map,” you replied flatly.

He laughed. “Funny, sweetheart. Yeah, your captain knows it’s – .”

“YOU are NOT my captain,” you spat back before he could even finish his sentence.

The smile spread further across his face, “If you aren’t joining my crew then you'll stay my prisoner.”

“Is that what this is about, you want me to join your band of seafaring freaks?” You were picking a fight you knew you couldn’t win. He knew it too.

“I think I made myself very clear but, if you need a little extra explaining, I don’t mind. You did hit that pretty head very hard a few weeks ago.”

“Weeks?” You did your best to keep your voice even as panic began to settle in your chest. 

“Your…” it took a moment for him to find the right words, “temperament was difficult to say the least. If I thought getting you on board was hard, oh boy! Talk about keeping you quiet! But, it wasn’t anything a little sleeping powder couldn’t fix.” 

He’s cocky, he knew springing this information on you would leave you feeling confused and uncertain. Was every move he made this calculated? 

“We all got used to how quiet you were, so much … easier to watch.” His eyes traced up and down your frame. You got your answer, that remark was calculated and so was his decision to finally regard your attire.

He was stronger, he had more weapons at his disposal. The clown capitan knew he could say whatever he wanted, and there was hardly anything you could do about it. But that didn’t stop you from opening your mouth.

“What do you want with me and why the hell am I on your ship?”

All he could do was smile and chuckle in return, “That’s so funny, beautiful, truly. You are so much more entertaining when you're conscious. But, I’m going to need you to stop playing dumb, okay? It’s really starting to piss me off.”

His eyes were getting darker, his words sharpening. You were really starting to wish you knew what he was talking about but, god help you, you had no clue. You couldn’t remember how you got here, and now that you started racking your brain for answers, you realized you couldn’t remember anything about yourself. 

Your name? Yes. You knew that. Family? Nothing. Village? A small seaside town, but the details were fuzzy. Who were you before this? You didn’t even know how long you were at sea and now you can’t even remember the basics.

The confusion in your mind began to make itself plain on your face.

“Oh no,” his tone began to change, the grin dropping from his face. “No no no no no -- you really don’t know do you?”

You looked up and saw his expression contorted between realization and anger. “SHIT! No! Gah! This was not supposed to happen this way! God fucking DAMN IT!”

He pushed himself up from the table with a fury, and something you’d never seen him carry before, frustration. Up until now, the blue haired man had acted with such a confident air, but now, it seemed like everything was falling apart. You made no move to speak, just watched as he paced the room spitting various curses into the empty space.

Then he finally turned to you, slowly on his heels. “No, you know what, this is fine.” He smiled, collecting himself. “All of this is just fine.” He began to stalk toward you.

“You’re here, on my ship, and that is alllllll that matters right now.” He placed both hands down on the table in front of you, leaning over the map and getting dangerously close to your face.

“We will just have to work through this little hiccup together. Huh? What do you say?”

“You can go to hell. I don’t know anything about this map, or what you need from me. Any information you're looking for is gone because your moronic sideshow and its excessive force scrambled any memories I had,” you spat.

“Okay gorgeous,” his emerald eyes not breaking contact with your (e/c). “Suit yourself.” 

His tactics weren’t working, he knew it. It was time to change the game. Play from a different angle. You didn’t remember who you were, what you were, he’d help you remember, and maybe add a few memories into the mix. The mind was a fragile place, its chemistry could be changed so easily. Enough of the fear and frustration, it’s always easier to attract flies with honey than with vinegar.

[tonberry-yoda]

15 with Buggy the Clown please 🙏

Stay with Me Tonight. Please - Buggy

notes - AHHHH ME AND YOU BOTH WITH THE BUGGY BRAINROT DAWG! Literally super glad you asked for him because tee hee word count - 336 ~~BUY ME A KO-FI (COMMISIONS ARE OPEN)~~

Not often did you and Buggy run into each other on islands. Especially since you two were sworn enemies or whatever.

You were pirates, so that automatically put you at each other's throats, but even so, sometimes when you two did see each other, you would end up doing something romantic. Whether that be cuddling or sharing one kiss, it would always happen before you left.

It was odd to see Buggy again. It had been years since you saw him last and you could've sworn it was your last time seeing him.

But strangely, he didn't turn to look at you once, even though you parked right next to his boat.

It's like he didn't even know you were there.

You weren't upset about it or anything (though you totally were), you had stuff to do anyway.

But it was honestly getting really upsetting when you knew you had to leave soon.

You sat in his captain's quarters waiting for him to get back and he looked shocked when he saw you there, his face flushing red.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to avert his eyes.

"Were you avoiding me?" you said, ignoring his question.

"N-No!" he lied.

"Why? A 'hi' would've been nice or something."

"Look... I just..." he sighed, running his hand down his face. "I knew this would happen."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't wanna see you and get attached, okay?!"

You froze. What an idiot. You smiled and then giggled a little. "What? You like me or something?"

"Shut up."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, my crew and I are leaving any minute now."

"What?! Why the hell would you do all this then?!"

"Do all what?" you asked innocently.

"Visit me like this!"

"Fine. I'll leave then."

You turned to leave his room, but he grabbed your shoulders and sighed. "Just... stay with me tonight. Please."

You threw your arms around Buggy and he held you tighter, breathing you in.

"Of course, Buggy."

~~~~~

one piece masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[evil-marco]

welcome to my blog. here i bitch about stupid people. come one, come all.

short overview: hey i'm marco. im a person with dissociative identity disorder. i use any pronouns, and i'm an adult. if you don't like me, block me! it's not my job to be internet friendly. it's your job to police your internet consumption. peace and love. (i know this sounds sarcastic but i'm being /srs. if you do not like the content tumblr is showing you, curate it. there's no use getting offended over it, or upset. either listen & learn or move on. i genuinely don't care which.)

as mentioned before, i'm marco (or, if you want, apple (not orange (which is a surprise considering the theme i chose))). i have DID. alters will reveal themselves if they want to. as an overview, i have 7-8. i dont believe in emoji signoffs—i have a name and i will use it.

always feel free to send asks about DID or system shit. i love correcting misinformation—if you need help finding good resources, i'm majoring in english and would love to help you find credible ones. i am also down to debate syscourse at any point. don't straight up call me a slur though you will just get clowned on.

i am like your friendly neighborhood spiderman except i'm not friendly or spiderman and instead just really don't like people faking dissociative disorders. that's about it.

no DNI because that's cringe & not how real life works, but if you believe in the following and feel strongly about it, you might want to block me. i also feel strongly about it and i guarantee you i'm more stubborn:

₊　endo systems. tulpa systems. any system that is not disordered. any of that "mixed origins" bullshit. i think you guys should get back into kinning.

₊　people who think you can be a completely binary man and a lesbian. [insert loud incorrect buzzer here]

₊　similarly, people who think you can be a completely binary woman and be mlm [insert equally loud incorrect buzzer here]

₊　those people who take shipping too seriously. do not tell me to kms because i don't ship your favs.

₊　systems who think systems should get special treatment for the sake of special treatment. you do not need pluralkit in every server ever. shut up

₊　people who refuse to debate your beliefs. you are stagnant. one day the world will move on without you and you will be the reason why.

₊　if you're being nsfw in my notifs i'll block you. idc about your blog (so feel free to interact/like/reblog with a sfw caption) but if i have to see it i will avoid it! much love to the nsfw bloggers but not my cup of tea

₊　generally just have common sense and we'll get along!

inbox / askbox are open ! i love education & debates, and will absolutely explain my perspective most things.

[pehmokoira]

I think we could all use a morale booster after 2 weeks in the gravy basket, so I decided to write a few reasons why I believe Our Flag Means Death can still be saved!

Please note that I know literally nothing about how the industry actually works, I'm just clowning and these are opinions based on articles I've read etc. 🤡

Arrested Development was saved by Netflix after Fox cancelled it because of low ratings and viewership. Now, we can't know the numbers for OFMD for certain, but the ratings and reviews have been preeetty good, and season 2 even has a higher Tomatometer score than season 1. (96% vs. 93%) So in that sense, the chances are good. Everything was pointing towards renewal until January 9th!

Which gets me to my next point. If the cancellation really was one person's decision (DZ better watch his fucking step), then that means the show was as good as renewed and it HAD the numbers and the viewership and everything it needed to continue.

Each cancellation case is unique. It's kind of pointless to compare OFMD with any other cancelled show, because the chances of any show getting picked up after cancellation depend on so many things. Production costs, show quality, the potential of the show, viewership, probably also connections/relationships in the industry, etc. But it all boils down to money in the end.

Max is covering up the real reason for the cancellation by lying, which means they've completely fucked up by cancelling this show. Max is the one that looks bad right now, not OFMD. This is bad PR for Max.

David Jenkins has not told us to stop with our renewal efforts, which means there's hope. He knows more than we do. In Jenkins I trust. I won't give up until he tells us it's over.

It's only been 2 weeks and 1 day. It would've been something of a miracle if the show had been picked up in that short a time. Lucifer was saved by Netflix a month after the cancellation.

And lastly, the pros for OFMD:

The show hasn't been on a widely available international streaming service so far. Big potential for new audiences on a different platform.

The marketing for the show has been abysmal, but it's become a flagship series for Max despite that.

The fanbase is loud and passionate, and we've shouted about wanting to buy merch on X. We won't shut up about the show and that's a beautiful and important thing.

Max's lies about the cancellation are so transparent almost anyone can see through them. The people in the industry have probably noticed Max's pattern of cancelling shows about marginalized groups.

The representation in the show is something you don't find in any other show, and while that could be its downfall, it's also the greatest strength of the show. Bigger streaming services aren't as scared of queers as Max is.

The story that the show tells is quite unique.

These are just a few things that came to mind right now. Feel free to reblog and list more reasons if you can think of any!

Edit: I wrote another post about this too! That one's about ✨the numbers✨!

[liminalbeans]

MY TOP 20 FAVORITE BEANIE BABIES (LONG POST)

this was a TOUGH list to make, since there are countless wonderful beanie babies out there and I it was hard to narrow it down to just 20. I was originally going to have just a top 10 list but limiting myself to just 10 is just too much to ask. this list isn't ranked or anything, I like all of these equally.

1. Grunt the razorback

I don't even know what it is about this dude that I love so so much, but he's great. Maybe it's because he was one of the first beanies I ever got, but he feels like one of the most beanie baby beanie babies ever, if that makes sense. The bright red color. The simple design and floppy body. The felt details. Yes sir, this is a mighty fine beanie.

2. Goochy the jellyfish

I feel like I legally can't have a "top best beanie" list without goochy. It's just required. I mean come on, it's goochy. Look at his curious, kind eyes. His pleasing pastel ombre colors. His tentacles and frills, perfect for using him as a fidget toy. 10/10, no notes

3. Swirly the snail

Same as with Goochy, I think if I made this list and posted it without Swirly, I would have my account shut down and all my beanie babies confiscated immediately. And I'd 100 percent deserve it, too. I mean LOOK at him.

4. Kaleidescope the cat

Ok, I know I said this wasn't a ranked list and I liked all the beanies on here equally, but...if I had to choose one of them to be my top favorite Beanie Baby ever, I would choose this one. Fuzzy purple nose! 12 different colors and patterns! Cool realistic yellow cat eyes! Perfect shape to hold! A cat! I've never seen a toy have so many different colors and patterns without looking too busy or over designed. The rainbow cheek/side of the head pattern is my favorite of kaleidescope's patterns.

4. Zodiac goat

What can I say, I'm a sucker for bright colors and fun patterns. Something and the gentle smeared rainbow pattern of this goat is so incredibly satisfying to look at, and I like his hooves each being a different color. It also helps that I really like goats.

5. Scorch and magic

Okay okay, this might be cheating a bit, having two beanies as one entry, but it feels wrong not to have these two together. Why do I like these so much? Well first off they're dragons, which already puts them up there with the best of the best, but also the shiny crinkly stuff their wings are made out of is absolutely wonderful to look at and feel.

6. 4-H beanie baby bear

This one is here for mostly personal reasons. You see, I have been involved in 4-H for most of my life, and it has been an amazing experience. I made friends, I gained new life experiences, and did tons of things that I would not have done otherwise. I got jobs through 4-H when I was old enough, and it even influenced which college I went to and what I majored in. So when I learned there was a beanie for it, I knew I had to include it.

7. Cheezer

Cheezer.

8. These clown style birthday bears

Even though I used the picture of the light blue one, this one comes in 12 different colors (one for each month's birthstone) and I don't have a favorite color/month, i just like this line of beanies in general. They have that smeared rainbow fabric that I like (is smeared the right word? Idk how to describe it otherwise) and I like the clown vibes they have going on.

Oh and I just hit the 10 image post limit. This will be continued in a reblog.

[isa-ghost]

(BTW I'm very down with wanting sapnap being dead for being sapnap I just wanted to be sure I was hip qirh the kids and pissed for the Correct reason)

DLSKFLSJFSKF SORRY I WAS OUT TOUCHING GRASS WHEN YOU SENT ME YOUR FIRST ANON.

Also in hindsight I worded this answer like you have 0 clue who Shartnap is but I'm gonna keep it that way for anyone who sees this and Doesn't Go Here At All.

Here's a good overview post abt Crapnap from my friend.

This Specific Instance we're wishing death upon him more than the default amount because he's participating in Squidcraft, a Latino-made/hosted and primarily Latino-played Minecraft competition with a big cash prize. (Aka that irrelevant ass sweaty ass racist Texan is literally only playing to win more money he doesn't need. He also won last year's SC 🙄). Last year there were a few non-Latino players (like him), but this year there were a BUNCH, most likely thanks to the existence of QSMP. There were Americans, Brits, and French just to name a few!

My mutual @pixiecaps has been the most outspoken on my dash about the dumbshit being in Squidcraft, so I'll tag them here and they can add any additional context they see fit in the reblogs or replies. They might have insight or perspective that I don't bc they're Latino and I'm not. 👍🏻 And this was baby's first Squidcraft for me purely bc QSMP members were in it, so idk much abt previous ones whereas Pix might.

It's annoying enough that Crapnap is in the competition at all, but yesterday a bunch of other previous DSMP members (Philza, Tubbo, Foolish, to name a few) all died in one of the games together and were thus eliminated. Shatnap's petty nobody poopy ass was literally CHEERING when they all died, which is poor sportsmanship for one (he has none tho let's be real here), and two: No Toxicity is one of the competition rules. So by all means, he should be investigated by the Squidcraft mods and (hopefully) disqualified for his bullshit.

And some additional context bc my guess is this all plays into why he was so outwardly toxic like that: Tubbo has outspokenly hated the Dr*m Team for a while now. He also had direct beef with Shatnap bc the dumbfuck tried migrating to Kick (basically Twitch for bigots & predators, to say the least).

AND, most relevant and recent: Philza was just on Tommy and Jack Manifold's podcast Shut Up I'm Talking about a week ago, and on the Patreon version of the episode the three of them talked about how Dr*m is a piece of shit, they all hate him, and how nasty and weird he was behind the scenes during DSMP, especially to Tommy.

Dr*m Team 100% knows this was all said, bc a) some of it was clipped ofc and b) Dr*m fucking posted the DSMP world download as damage control after people started talking abt what was said on the episode bc god forbid he look bad and get negative attention for 2 seconds. He's been begged by numerous people for LITERALLY LIKE 3 YEARS to drop the world download and only JUST did it to do damage control and make himself look all good and innocent or At Least distract people (spoiler alert: didn't work, he just made himself look even more pathetic. He basically gave the people who correctly hate him a gift in addition to clowning on him).

Shartnap literally lives with Dr*m, so there's no way he doesn't know Tommy, Jack & Phil have spoken some of the truth TECHNICALLY PRIVATELY. IT WAS ON PATREON BEHIND A PAYWALL.

Soooo yeah. As usual, Dr*m Team fucking sucks ass (many such cases, no one is surprised). Crapnap is the ""last remaining"" of the Dr*m Team to not have some Extreme horrific controversy and that's what keeping him able to be in competitions like this, rather than isolated to a shitty corner with the other two dumbfucks. (CLARIFICATION: He DOES have controversies. You can assume what some of them are based off of things said in that post I linked. Plus the Kick thing. But in comparison to Dr*m [a groomer, among other things], and George [sexual predator, among other things], Shatnap is ""the least awful"" of them, which is almost definitely why he's still ""welcome"" in competitions like this one).

Additional silly context: I'm calling him variations of shit because he openly admitted sometime earlier this year that he shit himself (or at least sharted) on stream.

[nuclearplutonium]

Dividers

Ello! I’m Robin.. buuut you can also call me Elliot, Orion, Rory, or Moth :D

Check out my new and totally awesome strawpage!

Alterhuman therian and fictionkin, my theriotypes are black wolf, snow husky, and a T-Rex <33

I’m an artist, animator, writer, and a little bit of a keyboardist (I mainly speak English but my original language is Russian Ó^Ò)

I am a MINOR!!! I am ok if adults (NOT THE SEX BOTS) interact with my blog, but please consult to the dni list before interacting.

My blog is not meant for younger audiences, therefore I am telling you all that this is a 14+ BLOG. mainly because I’ll post art with mildly suggestive themes in it or reblog something weird.. whatever it may be, I just want to protect the little itty bitty babies that happen to stumble upon this beautiful yet horrifying tumblr blog .-.

currently locked in @thesillygoober7’s basement (GO FOLLOW HIM PLEASE THAT MIGHT MAKE HIM FINALLY LET ME OUT OF HERE)

taken by Thomas MWEEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH

old acc is @charlibugg T_T

Here’s most of the stuff I like ! Purple = ION💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Blue = VERY VEEERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VEEERRYRYYY HYPERFIXATED

Green = LOVE ITTT

Orange = Cool cool I like it

Red = Eh… I mean it’s fine.. II/III, I.O.N/И.О.Н, TNM, BFDI/BFB/BFDIA & TPOT, EEE/THREEEE, BURNER, 5SOS, ONE, CFMOT/ИНМТ, Objectified, LoTS, Animatic Battle, Bugbo, Dreamophrenia, Sprunki, Warrior Cats, Smiling Friends, ATHF, Gravity Falls, Villainous, Countryhumans, DHMIS, Electric Dreams (1984), Ride the Cyclone, Pink Corruption, Homestar Runner, 13 Карт/Земля царей/невошедшие, Hetalia, Regretevator, Great God Grove, Mouthwashing, Homestuck

besides fandoms I hyperfixate on time to time… I also LOVE nuclear reactors, dinosaurs, lollipops (specifically Chupa Chups), synthesizer systems, cats, epic guitar solos in music, whatever the hell plutonium jazz is, and I just genuinely love learning ANYTHING about nuclear physics and energy :3

Some games I really like (not Roblox games) are In Stars and Time, JSAB/Just Shapes and Beats, Project Arrhythmia, Fallout 4/Fallout: New Vegas, Omori, Mouthwashing, Sims 2-4, Tomodachi Life, Miitopia, Cardpocalypse, Wobbledogs, Pikuniku, Ooblets, Great God Grove, Splatoon 2-3, Dragon Quest: Builders 1-2, Minecraft, Wandersong, JSAB, and AC:NH :3

and most of the bands/artists I listen to are MSI, sElf, Will Wood/Will Wood and The Tapeworms, Human Zoo, The Scary Jokes, Sodikken, Poppy, Machinery of The Human Heart, Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, And One, Nine Inch Nails, STOMACH BOOK, Black Dresses, Alice Schach and The Magical Orchestra, Ken Ashcorp, Ada Rook, LiteralHat, Limp Bizkit, Insane Clown Posse, Gorillaz, Tyler the Creator, System Of A Down, Foo Fighters, That Handsome Devil, Sacri, They Might Be Giants, Oingo Boingo, Weird Al, Jhariah, Lenin Was A Zombie, and Drive45!

I have high-functioning autism, ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression.. so sorry if I don’t talk/respond to asks, reply dms quick enough, or I don’t answer them properly… I’m a very shy person ÓwÒ …So please text me first if you want to dm me, if you’re a mutual I’d love to talk to you! ^_^

ask box will close down sometimes, it is not a mistake usually, I just don’t feel like taking asks time to time (I get overstimulated, okay?)

!! Comshippers, proshippers, darkshippers, pedophiles, fetish/kink blogs, transphobics, homophobics, racists, and ableists dni !!

Places I inhabit (these are my ONLY accounts on these places.)

YouTube: RobbieMothyy

Spotify: Tonsillitis (yes that is my actual name on there shut up)

Pinterest: LIZARDWAZAZOMBIE - charred corpse

Instagram: Charlizardsb

Wattpad: spagheetee

Discord: (please DM me if you want my username)

TikTok: lizzardz.0n.steroidz

(Created: 1/15/24)

(Last updated: 2/19/25)

#bugs goof art - my art! (ooooh spooky…)

#Charlizard’s rabble ransoms - random posts that include me answering asks, yapping for a severely long time, or filler

[orcinus-the-orca]

Whumptober 29: Fatigue | Labyrinth | Burnout | “Who Said You Could Rest”

Hello friends! For those following my Whumptober uploads, you maybe curious about the Skip. Truth is, when I first read this prompt I decided I wanted to incorporate it into my story. A story I hope to have finished very, very soon!

This is part of the last chapter for my fic “One at a Time”! If you haven’t already read it, the link is here! If you have, guess what! You get a little something.

I will reblog this post with the fic link when the full chapter is posted. Thanks for reading!

 Whether for better or worst, the neighboring streets are crowded. KID, who is quite adept at slithering through large crowds, is able to put some distance between himself and the pursuing Task Force. Unfortunately, the crowd is not so interested in protecting thieves, easily parting when the team of police officers come thundering. Inwardly, he curses. If only he had packed another wig, he could integrate into the crowd as a blond instead. 

 He takes a sharp right, ankle rolling dangerously over his heel. He’s nearly sent sprawling, his hands scraping across the ground as he picks himself up. It’s there that he feels the brush of fingers on his wig, the touch spurring him into a dead run, running like a rabbit from a huntsman’s dog. He has no real sense of direction, no exact destination, his only thought is avoiding the hands of the enemy.

 He needs to calm down, he’s letting his poker face slip. There’s no doubt that the officers have noticed his panic at this point. But all he can think on is escape. Who cares if they see his fear? They all know he is the prey animal, trapped within the labyrinth that is Osaka. Every turn he takes in search of a burrow of safety is quashed by predators, their barking shouts and gnashing teeth chasing him down another path. At some point, KID had to do away with his heels which had been ruined beyond repair. A shame, he did really like that pair. Now if only he hadn’t left his dress shoes back at the hotel, he wouldn’t need to traverse the streets barefoot.

 “That’s right, KID! Run!” Suzuki’s voice screams through the sky, ripping through the headache Kaito forgot he has. “It will be my face this time!”

 “Just give it a rest, you old clown,” KID thinks, his teeth clenched too tight to say aloud. Urged by the emerging prey instincts, he leaps into the main road, barely avoiding colliding with the public bus. From the surprised shouts on the other side, he has put some distance between himself and the Task Force. Not alot, there are still helicopters tracking his location, but he is able to reach the other side of the street. It grants him a moment of breath and the consideration of running back the way he came. Yes, if he runs back, the traffic will hinder the police cars, too. Sure, there will still be helicopters to worry about, but these idiots can only go so fast–

 A hand wraps around the back of his neck, jerking him off the walkway and into the darkness of an unlit alley. He’s just beginning to squawk in surprise when a hand slaps firmly over his mouth. 

 “Shut up,” an Osakan accent hisses. Before KID can break free of the hold, he is being ushered through the back door of some local business. The door is locked behind them and KID’s wig is ripped off. “Quick, put this on.”

 “Tantei–“ KID manages, but is cut off by clothing shoved roughly into his chest. Apparently, Hattori is not in the mood for small talk. He’s more interested in leading KID through the small business they’ve broken into, grumbling softly under his breath.

 “Hurry! Hurry!” Hattori says. He glances behind KID, the sound of banging filling the empty, dark store. “Won’t be long before they surround the other exit.”

 “Sure,” KID says, nothing more to say. He feels around at the clothing, recognizing them as a hoodie and jeans. Very grateful for his slip-on dress, he pulls it free and replaces it with the gifted clothes, fast but a little uncoordinated. He’ll need to send an apology card to the store owners, judging by the crash he hears after knocking over a display. Hattori, who has been talking to himself for the most part, takes the sudden destruction as his cue to shove a pair of crocs into KID’s unoccupied arms.

 “Seriously?” KID whispers.

 “You’d rather keep going barefoot?” Hattori snaps back. He doesn’t wait for KID to even slip the shoes on before he’s pulling them through a different door. They’re on the other street now, strangely vacant of any Task Force officers or even helicopters. He’s hardly given the opportunity to wonder why when Hattori starts dragging him down the sidewalk. Near the curb, Hattori’s Kawasaki is parked. 

 “Who said you could rest, Kaitou KID?!” Nakamori’s voice again, cutting through the night and driving KID into chills. Again, the rabbit wants to run, but Hattori, like the jaws of a trap, holds tight to his arm. He leads KID slowly, like an animal to slaughter, to the waiting bike.

[xe-n4]

bf: oliver

feat. oliver note: bf hcs with the town whore contains: swearing, oliver, fem!reader total: 388

Oliver is the type of boyfriend who brings you snacks at 3 am because he can’t sleep and wants someone to talk to.

He constantly gushes over his s/o. His friends are tired of it. His teammates are tired of it. The coach is tired of it. Everyone just wants him to shut up.

He wants you at every single game he plays wearing his jersey. No negotiations. That’s how it’ll be.

He’ll buy you flowers for every sort of occasion. Birthday, anniversary, just a random Wednesday? He’ll buy flowers.

Oliver watches your favourite shows/movies with you but don’t be surprised if he falls asleep halfway through. Remember he is an elderly man. He needs his nap time.

You clown him for his green tips almost every day (at least I would). Dw he’s a good sport abt it.

Oli loves when he catches you staring at his eyes because it probably means you’re staring at his eyes.

You found a necklace with a peridot and amethyst pendant which reminded you of your boyfriend, so obviously, you bought it and wear it basically every day. When Oli caught on his ego rose an immeasurable amount and he has not been the same since.

If you wear his clothes, he’ll wear yours. Even if it doesn’t fit.

It’s only fair.

He’ll wear something you’re not too attached to in case he rips it.

If it does fit, that’s his new workout gear. He will go to the gym wearing your shirt without shame and will definitely be showing off to his teammates (they do not care and simply want him to shut up)

He can’t cook. I refuse to believe this whore can cook.

If you’re having dinner at home, don’t leave him to his own devices. Oliver can and will burn down the house. He could probably start a mini fire boiling water.

His food also tastes shit. But don’t tell him. His feelings are fragile.

However, he can bake.

The man will be up at 2 am baking you a birthday cake (mainly because he forgot to buy one). If you’re having a bad day? Boom, freshly baked cookies.

Oliver doesn’t let himself fall in love easily. So, if he likes you, he will do whatever he can to keep you by his side.

m.list | like & reblog

[idontknowreallywhy]

Practical Suggestions for supporting people with RSD in the workplace

Am reposting my response to this excellent post because of course tumblr never shows reblogs in the tags view… and I’d really like as many thoughts as possible!

RSD and the Workplace

Been searching for things to help explain this to my new boss without it sounding like “I am a sensitive little flower please don’t ever criticise me.”

It’s tricky… the last thing I want is for people to withhold professional feedback because that just feeds into the fear that “I’m getting it all wrong but they are too polite to tell me.”

But at the same time I need to explain why sometimes I may overreact… why a minor issue might be the end of the world for a while and why I will fixate heavily on correcting a mistake (or, more frequently obsess an unhealthy amount over perfecting something just in case there is a mistake that I have missed because that would trigger aforementioned end of world).

Anyone else have any experience in this area? I can’t find many resources from an occupational health perspective and I have a meeting with HR soon to discuss putting something in place. The last slide talks about understand and acknowledging but how does the supportive environment look?

My ideas so far

- it’s not that we don’t want feedback! It just needs to be done in a way that doesn’t prompt the SHOCK chemical reaction in my nervous system. Perceived negativity arriving out of the blue is like being jumped out on from the shadows by a knife-wielding maniac in a clown mask. Receiving feedback in a predictable and expected way is more like approaching an angry dog (having put on protective clothing and made a plan for how to deal with each of the two or three things it might do)

- If you want to discuss something with me please explain exactly what it’s about in the request. “Can we chat later?” will result in every moment of the time between the request and the actual chat being consumed by me overanalysing my every action of the last 12 months and not actually doing any work in the interim. If I know what it’s about I won’t be as highly reactive when the revelation comes (and I will be more able to focus on what you are actually saying as my brain won’t still be lingering on ALL the other non-issues I have tormented myself about in the intervening time).

- Maybe a regular catch up time for informal feedback would work? Don’t wait for issues to get bad before raising them?

- Please be aware that my initial defensive response isn’t a rejection of the feedback, or stubbornness. I might splurge a list of reasons you are wrong or I might shut down and need to take a while to process it. Either way I will eventually come around and take the constructive bit on board.

- One of the silliest things about RSD is that even neutral feedback can feel highly negative at times. (Sort of like how we all accept dropping from “Kind regards” to “regards” is the ultimate professional burn, even though the it’s not written “with deep antipathy” it reads it!!) This is particularly the case with emails actually. I’m not saying fill your emails with smiley faces but if requesting a change of task / focus / adjustment to something or just giving the next instruction, it’s worth knowing that slipping in the slightest acknowledgement of previous work being satisfactory, even a complement or a brief “thank you for doing the previous thing, I’ll look at it later” changes the entire tone and tells the primitive brain that “this is a positive interaction, dial down the fight or flight”

- Finally - FOMO is a thing. But the fear is that you are not included because THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU / YOU ARE NOT TRUSTED OR VALUED rather than concern at missing out on a pleasurable thing. An easy way to deal is to check with your staff whether they want copying in on things or not - some may find constant emails about things they don’t need to engage with overwhelming. Others may see other team members being included and worry about why they are not and what should they know and what if they miss something that causes them to make a Mistake later?) This was a big deal for me as old boss was very kindly trying to avoid overloading me but I spent months assuming she valued everyone else’s opinion over mine.

Obviously I need to condense these a little to make them HR friendly. But.. what else? Can tumblr RSDers (or anyone who works with them) chip in any more practical suggestions?

[touloser-lautrec]

OC Most Likely Tag Game

Okay, I am so behind, I've been tagged in this one by a few different folks! So I'm gonna just aggregate it here. Thanks, @pandoras-comment-box (here), @sunset-a-story (here), @mk-writes-stuff (here), and if I missed any, I'm sorry! <3

Rules: Choose one of your OCs that best matches the given statement, and briefly explain why.

From @pandoras-comment-box:

Who's most likely to adopt a racoon/crow/skunk/fox/miscellaneous local wildlife for a pet? (Please tell the class how badly it would go. Please!) Marek. He collects critters regularly for the Uranus Pet Program, and his big heart gets the better of him sometimes, meaning that once in a blue moon, he brings in animals that... he really ought'nt. Emmett generally steps in to wrangle and relocate them more appropriately. Most likely to verbally eviscerate someone for something petty. Emmett. 100%. That man may be an Empath but his real knack is Being Mean When He Needs To (and he gets to define "need" here, of course). Most likely to go viral unintentionally. As much as I want to say Baguette, Marek would definitely do that intentionally, much to Penn's dismay. No, I think Misha is the winner here. He doesn't care about exposures as much as the folks at SolCorp do-- he has a job to do and if a shaky video of him slaying monsters ends up on the internet, that's someone else's problem.

From @sunset-a-story:

Most likely to eat a whole raw ghost pepper to prove something/impress someone. This is probably Alex? At least, in his younger years. He spent a long time feeling like he had something to prove, in general, and he definitely uses bravado to cover up insecurity. Most likely to see [OC] eating a whole raw ghost pepper and immediately go off in search of milk/ice cream/etc. Reeve. He'd hand it over with a sigh and a lecture. Most likely to have a tumblr account. Marek would try to have one strictly to post pics of Baguette and reblog hamster-related content, until Penn shut it down.

From @mk-writes-stuff:

Most likely to have someone ask for help reading their handwriting Alex, definitely. He didn't learn to read or write until he was 14. He gets the hang of reading over the years, but I don't think his handwriting ever really developed that well. Most likely to unironically buy a ridiculous hat Lee. He's the embodiment of Class Clown. People would think it was ironic, but for Lee, even if it's for a bit, it's always genuine glee. Most likely to scream at someone Scott. As much as Emmett is King of Burns, Scott has a real anger problem. His temper gets the better of him more often than he'd like, though he does his best.

I'll no-pressure tag: @aalinaaaaaa @ceph-the-ghost-writer @an-elegant-void and @winterandwords (and open tag if you're into it!)

Your prompts are:

Most likely to reluctantly try, and then gag, on a new food

Most likely to read fanfic (and pls tell us what their fandom is!)

Most likely to get a drink splashed in their face at a bar