#once spock ripped jims shirt up i knew it was over for him

[avid-mreower]

kockdaily 97

19.11.23

[mothmannnnn]

Hello sexy beautiful awesome cool swag mutuals, Gar asked me to finish a fic they wrote and we wanted to share :p Read at your own risk <3

-

If luck—a notion he’d only allowed himself to entertain after meeting James Kirk—really did exist, then it was only logical to assume its opposite existed as well. Bad luck. 

Spock couldn’t think up the logistics of the situation he and Kirk had found themselves in: why he was injured on a too-cold planet, how they had lost their communicators, how they had run into the sort of intelligent life they weren’t supposed to interact with—why they now sat, shoulders pressed together, inside a hollow alien tree. In his current, less than stellar state, he wondered if it was statistically possible to have this much bad luck.

They were able to elude their assailants through Kirk’s resourcefulness. He had eyed the hiding place while they were running from their assailants, an area near the roots they had just been able to squeeze past and fit inside. Spock vaguely wondered if the tree had rotten out, or if a creature similar to the earth woodpecker inhabited the planet and had once called the space they now sat in its home. He wondered why the wood on this planet was a pale shade of blue, the trees even more massive than the redwoods, and how this miraculous life could happen somewhere so cold. He wondered about the probability of his survival. Spock ghosted his fingers over his bloodstained abdomen. 

“Spock . . . Spock.” Kirk had his hand on his shoulder and was looking into his eyes, and Spock had to rip himself from his own mind. “You’re shaking,” He said. Spock was suddenly aware of the almost violent tremor of his own body, of the biting cold on his ears and hands and everywhere except where Kirk had his leg pressed up against his. 

“I’m very cold, Captain, and I believe—” he had to stop himself, he had to stop shaking, he had to gain back some control. He took a breath—too deep—and pain blossomed in his side, time tripping over itself. It was so cold out. “I believe I may be bleeding internally, from the injuries I sustained.” he said. 

Kirk was leaning over him then, eyes wide as they searched over him, one hand on Spock’s shoulder and the other hovering hesitantly over the blood stains on his uniform. “How bad is it? is there anything I can do? Are you—“ Spock grabbed Kirk’s wrist before he could flood him with more questions, before he could touch him and defile his hands with his blood. He didn’t like to see Kirk like this, anxious, and he especially didn’t like that he was the cause. 

“I can do something about it but . . . I must focus all my energy on healing myself.” Spock said, finally meeting Kirks eyes. He nodded, his mask of cool command back on. 

“The healing trance?” Kirk confirmed. 

“Yes but I—” There was too much going on, the cold, the bleeding, the hiding (James Kirk’s thigh pressed against his, hand in his, his worry) “I can’t regulate my body temperature while in the trance, I need some external method of—” Kirk pulled his hand away from Spock’s grip and went for the hem of his own shirt. He’d had it half way up his chest before Spock was able to catch Jim’s shirt and pull it back down. “No captain, you can’t-” Spock started, taken completely off guard but beginning to catch on to what Kirk had been thinking. 

“The extra clothing will keep you warm Spock, please just let me—“

“Your body heat is sufficient, Captain,” Spock insisted. Although he knew it was not logical, as Kirk’s body was better equipped to withstand the cold and therefore he would be able to spare the cotton shirt, Spock felt hesitant prioritizing his captain’s comfort below his own. 

Kirk looked thoughtful for a minute, his brows furrowing and his hands absentmindedly rubbing his jawline. 

Spock was getting delirious—he knew it was due to the increasing loss of blood in his body. He must begin the healing trance as promptly as possible, but a strange, illogical thought wormed itself into his mind. What will Jim do while I am gone? 

If they were to be revealed by their assailants, it would be highly unlikely that Jim could fend for himself, and it would be too dangerous to pull himself out of the healing trance. 

Before Spock could think of a solution, he felt warm hands around his waist, a strong chest against his, and the point of Jim Kirk’s chin on the crook of his neck. 

“Captain, you’ll get blood on your uniform.” 

“Tough luck,” was Jim Kirk’s eloquent reply. “We’ll have to be in close proximity for my body heat to do anything for you.” 

“Well, I . . .” Spock’s words trailed off, and he was, for perhaps only the second time in his life, at a loss for words. 

He found something akin to courage in his deliriousness, pulling away so that he might look Kirk in his eyes. “I do not like showcasing my . . . differences, as compared to you, Captain.” He motioned to the greenness of his blood, slowly darkening and expanding across his abdomen. 

“Spock, that is perhaps the most illogical thing you’ve ever said.” Astonishingly, he heard amusement in Jim’s voice, despite their current situation. When he looked over, eyes barely able to open, he saw that his captain’s lips were pulled into a ghost of a smile. His eyebrows, however, were still furrowed with concern. “What does it matter if your ears are pointed or your blood is green? Why would it ever matter to me?” There were unspoken words within that statement, even Spock was able to identify that. But he was not quite able to extract the meaning. Why would it ever matter to me? 

“I know it is not logical, but I have always envied the redness in your veins, Jim.” If Kirk had noticed the slip in formalities, he did not reveal it. “Red is the color of vitality, of passion. It is something I will never possess beyond a medicinal diagnoses. But green . . . green is the color of cowardice. Of envy.” 

“You’re not speaking any sense, Mr. Spock.”

“There are many things I do not have the courage to tell you, Jim.” 

If the silence that followed was indicative of disgust, Spock might have felt shame. But Kirk only lifted one gentle hand to Spock’s cheek, and wiped a tear that he had not known had fallen. 

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Spock,” Kirk reassured, prompting him to fall into his healing trance. He could not hold out for much longer. “We’ll get through this, I promise, and . . . when you’re awake, maybe you’ll feel a little more courageous.” 

Through their connection, both physical and emotional, Spock could feel the tug of emotions in Kirk’s chest. Stress, worry, regret and surprisingly—the last thing he felt before slipping off to unconsciousness—affection beyond platonic admiration. 

He slept. 

-

As promised, Jim was there when he awoke on the Enterprise again. He was still a little bruised, and his lip was split, but other than that, Spock could not discern any permanent physical harm.

“You’re awake,” 

Humans had an interesting habit of announcing something that was not in need of announcement. 

“I am,” Spock nodded, noticing that he had been relocated to a corner cot in the medical bay. “How long was I in the healing trance?”

Before Kirk could reply, a voice interrupted from the doorway. A booming, slightly southern accent that Spock recognized immediately, despite the state of his foggy memory. “A week,” Doctor McCoy said. “And what a hell of a week!”

“Hello, Doctor,” Spock greeted the newcomer. 

McCoy went on as if he had not heard him, muttering, “I thought Jim might go mad and strangle me! Waiting in here like some wartime widow, what a hassle!”

He went on like this, spewing good-natured insults until he exited the room, holding Spock’s file (which he presumed was what McCoy had originally came in the room for). 

Kirk looked at Spock, the tips of his ears red. This blush, which creeped up his neck, was what prompted Spock to remember the last conversation they had. 

The color of vigor. Of passion. The courage that Spock had lacked, until, in a lapse of judgment, he had admitted his best-kept secret: his feelings for James Kirk. 

“I’m glad you’re awake, Mr. Spock—even if Bones isn’t,” the tone of his voice was light, nothing remarkably fond, but his hand reached down and gently held Spock’s. 

The action was innocent enough, Spock knew. He had seen many humans hold each other’s hands for comfort, for solace. But to himself, a Vulcan, the intimate action made his own ears glow green.

“It’s okay if you don’t have the courage right now, Spock,” Jim continued. He smiled, and Spock found himself wanting to do the same. “You were very brave on that planet.” 

In a rare show of physical affection, Spock lifted Kirk’s hands to his lips, and kissed the soft palm. 

Understanding the meaning of this action, Kirk in turn lifted Spock’s hand to his own mouth, pressing a warm kiss on the back of his hand. 

“When you’re ready, Mr. Spock,” Kirk smiled, “I think we should take a long shore leave—somewhere warmer, preferably.” 

Spock squeezed the hands still holding his, hoping that this seemingly modest reaction could begin to express all the feelings he had for Jim Kirk. That perhaps Jim might feel, through his own human senses, Spock’s unfailing devotion to him. 

“Yes, Captain,” he said. “I would like that very much.” 

[thesoundofnat]

New Habits

Jim/Spock

Summary: Jim rushes onto the Bridge during an emergency wearing a crop top, and things become a little strange and loaded after that.

A/N: Boys in crops tops. Specifically Jim Kirk in crop tops. That is all.

I shared a sneak peek of this here (the post about Jim and Spock blushing being like a Christmas tree) and a few people showed interest in this and asked for the link, so I’m pleased to say I’ve finally finished it, so I hope you enjoy if you do end up reading it!

@narcissusneverknewme @cuteasafrog @ringdingaling are the ones that specifically asked for the link, so I hope it’s okay that I tag you! Thank you for the love xx

[Read it on AO3]

Words: 2 253

Jim had never been shy about showing his body. Everyone close to him knew that, but being Captain of course came with respectability, and he wouldn’t walk around wearing just anything, so the closest to revealing clothes he’d ever worn around the crew was a tight tank top and shorts reaching his knees that’d he’d been working out in when they’d found themselves in an emergency and he’d had to rush to the Bridge.

But sometimes he would wear something slightly less appropriate behind closed doors. He really needed to think one extra time before doing crap like this.

An emergency had him almost tripping over his own legs in order to get to the Bridge. It wasn’t late, but he’d been in his room to try to get an hour of sleep before returning, but of course something had to rip him out of his comfortable bed. While he was wearing only boxers and a crop top. And it really was a crop top. It barely covered any part of his stomach.

He was in such a rush that he barely gave it any thought as he burst into the Bridge to try to prevent a random species on a planet close by from attacking them for passing. It wasn’t very hard once he and the leader understood each other, but the stress had left him a shaky mess afterwards anyway.

“We were just flying by,” he mumbled to himself once they’d ceased the connection. “How is that a crime?”

“Captain.”

Jim looked up. “What is it, Spock?”

“I would suggest that you - as humans say - cover up. Not only is it not appropriate, but the probability of you catching a cold due to your weak immune system and lack of clothing is high.”

Jim’s face was on fire.

“Uh, right.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll go do that. Or actually, I think I’ll go finish my nap first. I think my nerves will need it. Will you guys be fine without me for half an hour?”

“Yes, Captain,” they all echoed back, and when Jim looked at them in order to re-establish a bit of his authority or whatever he found them either very much avoiding to look at him or looking away quickly.

Interesting.

And inappropriate.

He turned back to Spock. “You know what to do, Mr Spock.” But Spock had turned an interesting shade of green, and combined with Jim’s flush they might as well have been a Christmas tree.

Jim left the Bridge, not knowing what the hell to do with his exposed limbs.

This had been a Day.

***

He started wearing that shirt more often, though of course only to bed, but something about the whole experience made him feel a certain way while wearing the shirt. A way he hadn’t felt since the last time he’d been intimate with someone, which was ridiculously long ago.

It was strange to say the way his crew had been looking at him felt intimate, and it wasn’t anything he would ever tell anyone, but that was how he felt, and it was slightly overwhelming.

Jim reckoned this was like being a new parent, in a way. Just the smallest bit of attention and you suddenly felt like the sexiest person in the world after feeling like a human equivalent of a wreck for the past few years.

He liked this too much than he was willing to admit.

He never wore it around anyone else, except maybe Bones who was used to it from olden days anyway. But the idea of something happening and him having to rush out of his quarters again while wearing it was thrilling enough that he wore it every time he spent more than fifteen minutes in his room, and he always made sure to wash it early in the day so that it would dry by the time he returned.

Maybe he had a bit of a problem.

Bones pointed out the recent usage of the shirt once. “Is your room too warm lately or something?”

Jim tried to will himself to not blush. He knew Bones knew him like the back of his hand, but surely this was bizarre enough that he wouldn’t figure it out?

“It just makes me feel oddly at ease.”

“Uh huh. Whatever you say, kid.”

“Listen, Bones. Once you wear a crop top you’ll know.”

“The trouble with that sentence is that I’ll never ever wear one.”

“Coward.”

Bones reached over and tweaked his bare side and that was that.

In the end Jim grabbed an old t-shirt that he barely used and cut off the lower part of it. Wearing crop tops had become an addiction, and he needed more than one if he was to do it regularly.

He was wearing that new shirt, the light blue color matching his eyes in a very complimentary way in his opinion, when he was awoken to a voice calling him to the Bridge. Another emergency. Really, it couldn’t wait. Not even for a moment so that he could change into another shirt.

Jim rushed out of his room.

Negotiating with this king took longer, and Jim was very much aware of exactly how he looked now, though Uhura had been smart enough to throw a clipboard in his direction that he could hold in his lap to cover up his bare midriff just in case it would offend the king, who had insisted on them video chatting.

But Jim knew that his skin was visible from all other sides, and that if one of the crew glanced in his direction they would see it clearly. The thrill of that notion made him unsure if he wanted the negotiation to end quickly or drag on.

He was a mess, he had to admit.

Maybe he needed to get laid.

“Yes, I understand that,” he was saying as the king once again told him that they should’ve warned them before arriving. “But we never planned on landing on your planet. We still don’t plan on doing it. We just had to fly slightly too close in order to avoid a meteor.”

The king grumbled something untranslatable, but in the end they ceased the connection with an agreement to not attack each other. Jim was relieved.

“It’s like we have a reputation of attacking everyone we come across,” Jim said, casually putting the clipboard aside. “Do I look like the type of person to be that heartless?”

“Appearances do not matter in these circumstances,” Spock said. “They cannot know if we are enemies or friends, and they only act logically in the hopes of protecting their people.”

Jim turned to him with a grin he couldn’t help. “I was joking, Spock.”

Spock absolutely refused to look at him, which was interesting since the Vulcan didn’t usually care if staring was appropriate or not. Jim wanted him to look, but he knew that him not looking was the biggest compliment he could get from him. He felt his face heat up, which it had been doing quite often lately, especially around Spock.

He was happy Bones wasn’t around, because he would for sure notice, that bastard.

He cleared his throat. “Well, I should probably go change.”

“That would be the appropriate option.”

“You do know not everything needs to be appropriate, don’t you, Spock?”

Spock met his gaze now, and Jim could see something in his face that he couldn’t entirely pinpoint. “It does when we are in a professional environment.”

Oh.

Okay then.

Jim swallowed thickly. “The Bridge is indeed a professional environment,” he replied lamely, getting up and refusing to look at anyone. The atmosphere suddenly felt loaded with something. Something he hadn’t felt in forever.

He left the room. Spock didn’t follow. Jim really really wanted him to follow.

***

Jim didn’t wear his crop tops for two weeks, instead opting for baggy t-shirts or sweaters when he was out of his work clothes. Anything that wouldn’t make anyone look at him twice. He wasn’t sure attention was what he needed.

At least not from just anyone.

When he was called onto the Bridge during another emergency he was wearing a gray t-shirt that could basically be a short dress if he opted to style it that way. He felt sloppy sitting in his chair once the emergency was over, but he reckoned it was better than feeling attractive during the wrong time. No one so much as batted an eye at his attire.

Maybe it was for the better.

“Are you cold now all of a sudden?” Bones asked him one evening, pointing at his navy blue sweater.

“My soul is cold.”

“Okay, drama queen.” He stabbed at his dinner. “No, seriously. I know something’s been up. Just can’t really pinpoint what, exactly.”

“Don’t sweat it, Bones. It’s nothing serious.”

“If it becomes serious, you’d tell me, right?”

“Right.”

Bones hook his head. “You won’t tell me a word, will you?”

Jim shot him a smile. “No comment.”

But Bones wasn’t the only one who had noticed that something was up, even if some of his crew members simply commented on his surprisingly large collection of various sweaters. Jim wished they would all leave his wardrobe out of this, but he knew it was mostly his own fault anyway.

The two weeks of sweaters and t-shirts came to an end when Spock visited him in his quarters one evening. Jim was in the middle of changing out of his work clothes when he was alerted to a knock on the door, and he’d been so certain it was Bones that he went to open it without putting his sleep shirt on.

To say both he and Spock were surprised would be an understatement.

“Spock!” he exclaimed, his voice more high pitched than he would ever admit. “What are you doing here? I mean, not that I’m not happy to see you. I mean-” He broke eye contact to grin incredulously at his own flustered babbling. “I didn’t expect you to show up at this hour.”

Spock hadn’t moved a muscle, but Jim could somehow tell he wasn’t as calm as he seemed. “I apologize for the time, Jim.” He didn’t offer any sort of explanation to why he was here, so Jim just stepped aside to let him in.

Jim pulled on a t-shirt and they had tea, which was a strange thing to be drinking when you felt as if your heart was trying to escape from your chest. Jim wasn’t sure why he felt that.

Spock didn’t say much, so Jim started talking way too much to compensate. It was a mess.

He could tell that Spock wanted to bring something up, but wasn’t. He hadn’t ever seen the Vulcan not say what was on his mind.

Something had to be wrong.

He kept sipping on his tea.

“The temperature of the room does not come across as neither cold nor warm to me,” Spock suddenly said.

Jim put his cup down. “What do you mean?” he asked, knowing full well what he was indicating.

“Your usage of certain pieces of attire does not seem logical, if the temperature has been the main reason.”

Jim licked his lips. “It hasn’t.”

Spock blinked. “Then, if I may ask-”

“It’s… complicated.”

“I am certain there must be a logical explanation.”

“Oh, there is. I just don’t think it’s very logical to anyone but myself.”

“I must say I never noticed your choice of clothing until-”

“Until I started wearing crop tops.”

Spock took slightly too long to reply. “Yes.”

Jim averted his eyes. “Neither did I. I never used to care too much, and then… then I guess I cared too much. I was much too aware of how others would look at me depending on what I wore. It’s stupid, I know.”

“It is simply human.”

“Was that an insult?”

“I can assure you it was not.”

Jim grinned, and Spock’s face seemed to soften.

“I felt this weird need to show off my body, if only to myself. Now I feel the opposite. I guess I became too self conscious.” If he and Spock hadn’t gotten so much closer during the past year he would never have admitted this, but Spock drank his words as if he hadn’t ever tasted anything sweeter.

“Jim, I-” Spock cut himself off, which was intriguing enough for Jim to finally look at him properly again.

“Yes, Spock?”

“I have an illogical urge to make a confession.”

“You don’t have to be a slave to logic at all times, you know.”

“I prefer your other choice of attire.”

The Christmas tree was back in full force, only this time it didn’t seem as if it was about to turn off anytime soon. Despite an overwhelming need to look away, Jim kept his gaze on Spock who seemed to be going through the same struggle. None of them moved.

“Is that so?” Jim finally breathed out, aware of how easily their Christmas tree could catch fire with how loaded the room felt.

“Illogical,” Spock said. “But yes.”

“It’s not illogical. It’s natural.” He licked his lips. “Should I go change into one of them?”

“I prefer the blue one.”

“The blue one it is.”

Jim changed, feeling strangely free being back in a crop top, but also insanely self conscious with how hungrily Spock was looking at him.

Once Jim fully realized what that hunger meant they stopped going against their urges.

[prettylittledragon]

His son

Author insert fic about being Jim Kirk's adoptive son

Past Spock X author

Tw: misgendering

I sat in my chair near the front of the ship next to Sulu me and him were in the academy together just thinking about the good old days he was one of three that knew that I was Trans. The others were Jim and Bones along with Spock. Bones was the doctor I went to when I need it. Jim was like a dad to me it may sound weird but it's true and sulu was like my big brother. Spock well that's a whole different kettle of fish.

" Miss Milton I need your help in the science lab" said Spock and stood up and walked over to the turbo lift

" Mr Milton I need you to stay on the bridge with Sulu until Chekov is back from engineering Mr Spock I am sure it can wait" said Kirk to me and Spock who went back to his seat

I would have to thank him later. You see Spock and me dated once before the start of our five year misson. I ended it and ever sense the Vulcan hybrid has been more sour than a grape. I don't know why thought it wasn't working out like it should have. He expected too much from me and wasn't giving me the same as I put into it.

Sulu looked over at me with a look that asked if I was ok. I shook my head I wanted to rip my skin off. Dysphoria. I hate this feeling I wanted to run off the bridge and hide in my quarters until this feeling went away. My communicator went off and i checked it was a message from Jim

It read:

You can go see Bones in five minutes Chekov will be back

Dad

It made me smile he only ever called himself dad when it was just me him and bones. The crew knew that he was like a father to me but didn't say anything. Chekov walked over to me and ruffled my hair

" Levi you can go" said Jim and you stood up and ran to medbay completely disregarding the fact you were wearing two binders.

" Oi speedy I can remove your binders for you or you do it yourself huh?" Said bones as he could see the outline through my shirt

" No it's fine it doesn't hurt that bad" I said trying to sit down before he came at me with scissors to cut my shirt and binders off.

" Kid we can do this my way or your way or we get Jim and we both know how that would end dont we?" He said as I moved my arms so he could cut them off

" I hate Spock so much" you said through gritted teeth

" What's the green blooded bastard do this time?" He asked as he put a cream over your ribs to release some of the tension and pain

" Just called me Miss in front of the bridge crew You should have seen Sulus face he was full on prepared to punch him in the face" you said letting Leonard fuss over you until he was happy

" And so you thought let's go see uncle Len and hide in sickbay" he said laughing

" Yep Spock also wanted me to go to science labs with him luckily Dad was like nope I have to stay on the bridge until Pavel gets back" i said wincing as I lay down.

" I am not going to mention the dangers of double binding as you should already know them but no binding for a week until your ribs are healed" he said " you need a haircut don't ya" he began again looking at my messy hair that was in dire need of a cut

[doyoufancyathought]

Baby Girl  Pt. 2

Alarms were blaring, and as you opened your eyes you could see the yellow alert lights flashing throughout the room. Throwing a hand to your right, the emptiness in your bed reminded you that your boyfriend, Bones, was working the night shift tonight. You groggily sat up and wondered what was going on to make the alarms go off at, you checked your bedside clock, two in the morning. 

Then you remembered Camy. Your eyes darted to the makeshift bed on your couch and saw the little girl stirring in her sleep. The sedatives Bones had left behind in case your two hours of lullabies didn’t work were still resting on the coffee table. 

You dressed quickly so you could see what all the fuss was about. As a last minute thought, you gave Camy a small dose of sedative to calm her, then put the last of the drug in your pocket and gathered the girl and her blanket in your arms before you headed out the door. She snuggled up to your chest immediately, holding the blanket Chekov had given her tight in her tiny fist. 

As you walked through the halls, the alarms were still blaring and the lights were still flashing, but there were no other signs that the ship was in danger. There were no red shirts rushing anywhere, no intercom calls for evacuation or for people to man their stations. You decided to head to the bridge to ask Jim what was going on. 

Once you got there, you could see Spock, Jim, and Bones gathered in discussion. As soon as Jim saw you, he walked over and the others followed.

“How’s she doing?” the captain asked.

“Fine, I finally got her to sleep. The alarms were making her restless so I gave her a small dose of the sedative that Bones gave me, just in case.”

He nodded absentmindedly.

“Jim, what’s going on? Why are the alarms going off? Are we in danger?” Bones sympathetically laid a hand on your shoulder, peering over it to check on the little girl.

“Well,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t really know. There’s some ships that appear to be pirate vessels, although we don’t know who they are or where they’re from. Uhura’s translating the messages they’ve sent us, and so far they seem to be the same group who had taken Camy. I can’t imagine that they would attack us.”

Just then Uhura interrupted. “I’ve got an incoming transmission, Captain.”

Kirk jumped into his chair so that whoever was on the other end of the call would see only him, but just in case, Bones ushered you towards the door.

A strange looking alien came on screen, and it took a few seconds for the translator to catch up with his speech. “Captain Kirk, you have something I want.”

“That’s usually the case when non-Federation ships intercept my ship. What do you want?”

“You have a child on board, a human girl. Her caretakers were careless enough to let her slip into your hands, but I want her back.”

Kirk licked his bottom lip. “I assure you, we have no one fitting that description on our ship.”

“Captain, I will take her by force if necessary.”

He thought for a moment. “Tell you what, this isn’t Federation standard, but I’ll make you a deal, because I want as little harm to come to my crew as possible and you seem to outgun us at the moment. If you can prove to me that I have what you want on my ship, you can take it. But if you can’t prove it, then you have to surrender your ships to the authorities.”

Spock gasped in the background. He knew that pirates were predisposed to gambling, but for Jim to engage was risky business.

The pirate on the screen hesitated a moment before he nodded his agreement. “Very well. I will have my men ready to board your ship in ten minutes.” And with that, the transmission ended.

Jim jumped out of his ship to face a very concerned looking group of people. “I had no idea they would board so quickly.” He looked at you. “How are we gonna hide Camy in ten minutes and make sure she isn’t found?”

After but a few moments, Spock turned to you. “Camy is dosed with sedatives that should last for at least an hour, correct?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

He turned to Jim. “Has the engineering department managed to fix the small-scale hologram projector confiscated from the Romulans?”

Jim nodded. 

Finally he turned to Bones. “Can you pretend to deliver a child?”

Bones frowned. “I can deliver a baby for real, you hobgoblin. Why?”

Spock was already on his way to the lift. “Y/N, how well do you believe you can pretend to be in labor?”

The group followed him into the lift. “Quite well.”

“Spock, what kind of idea is this?”

“Quite simple, Captain. We cannot simply hide Y/N and the child, because when they search they will find evidence of a child and know we are hiding her. The solution is as follows: Y/N will pretend to be in full labor, and the holographic device will give the appearance of her distended mid-section. Doctor, you will pretend to be delivering the baby. The screams and obvious pain will scare the pirates away from the ‘delivery room’“ he used air-quotes, which Uhura had taught him, to emphasize the pretend aspect of this idea. “The child will be hidden underneath the bio-bed, and the sedatives will insure that she will not make a sound to alert the searchers to her presence. The baby items they might encounter can be explained as a mother preparing for her child, I believe it’s called ‘nesting’.Overall, a simple diversion tactic.”

You arrived in med bay and Scotty was already there with his hologram device, fiddling away with it. Apparently everyone liked Spock’s idea, because as soon as the lift doors opened, Bones raced towards the back, towing you along with him. He got you seated on a bed and swung your legs up, then pulled up the stirrups. Jim gently grabbed Camy from your arms and stowed her beneath the bed, and before you knew what was happening, Bones had your boots and pants taken off and your feet in stirrups. Jim was tossing you an examining gown to throw on over your uniform, Scotty was busy arranging the hologram to look like you were 9 months pregnant, and Bones was gowning up and had a tray of tools nearby. 

The ten minute timer in your head dinged and you knew it was go time. Jim and Spock had flown out the door to meet the boarding party at the door and escort them around the ship, and Bones was dressing Scotty up as a nurse while he was giving you instructions on how to pretend to be pregnant.

“Alright, darlin’. You’re gonna have to scream a lot, and moan too. Heavy breathing, look distressed.” He paused, having finished on Scotty, to give you a once over. “You don’t look the part....” He looked around and grabbed a partially full cup of water, then splashed it on your face. “There, now you look sweaty enough to be in labor!”

He sat down on a stool between your legs just as Scotty managed to pull up the boarding party’s position in the ship on his PADD. Bones glanced quickly at it before returning his attention to you. “Alright, darlin’ it’s go time, gimme all you got.”

You felt foolish at first, moaning and screaming for no real reason, but you soon warmed up to the part. Bones continued to sit down between your spread legs, not really doing anything besides coaching your screaming and breathing techniques. Scotty was doing an excellent job of being a supportive nurse. 

Soon enough, Jim escorted the boarding party into the infirmary, and you began to scream out of fear rather than pretend. If they found out that you were hiding Camy, you weren’t sure what would happen, but you were sure it wouldn’t be pleasant. And so you continued to scream and pant, channeling every ounce of acting into this one performance. You were not prepared for when the lead pirate of this boarding party ripped open the thin curtain separating your delivery room from the rest of med bay.

Bones turned in his stool, hands still resting on your knees. “She’s giving birth, dammit, can you give us some privacy?” He nearly yelled at them, although he needed to in order to be heard above your screaming. 

Just to be a pain in the butt, the pirate shifted to more permanent stance. “How long has this human been like this?”

Bones looked up at him in frustration. “You mean in labor? For about 5 hours now, so excuse me if I’m not very patient.” He took a glance between your legs for the sake of appearances, then focused on you. “That’s it, keep screaming the pain out. You’re nearly there, keep going.”

The pirate inquired again, “And who is the father of this child? Is it not customary with your people for the father to be present during the time of birth?”

Your brow knit with concern. This was not part of the plan, and you were starting to sweat for real. You could see Jim’s eye widen, but thankfully Bones was a quick thinker. “I’m the father.” he grumbled.

“Oh,” the pirate shifted his focus to you, but you closed your eyes in pain momentarily. “So you get to deliver your own child. How quaint.”

Bones kept his gaze fixed on a spot on the bed between your legs as he gave a curt nod. “Yup. Always been a dream of mine.”

The pirates glanced once more around your curtained off area before they took your leave and they were barely out the door when Scotty leaned down and whispered in your ear. “Don’t think you realize you’re doing it, lass, but you’re squeezing mah hand mighty hard.”

You didn’t even realize you had grabbed a hold of his hand, but you quickly released it with an apologetic smile. You would have apologized verbally, but you were still busy screaming and pretending to give birth.  

It wasn’t 15 minutes later when Jim and Spock came bounding through the doors, having seen the boarding party off. You stopped moaning as soon as you saw their silhouettes through the thin curtain. They stopped short and Jim grinned as he looked again at the setup. Scotty, the faithful nurse, attending Bones, the gruff space doctor, as they deliver their first hologram pregnancy. It was a hilarious sight, and Jim could barely contain his laughter. 

You leaned back and rested against the bed as Scotty set to work removing your hologram belly, not even bothering to get rid of his nurse costume first. Bones too disregarded removing his gown and knelt down to collect Camy from the floor. As he straightened up, he cradled the sleeping girl against his chest, and a hint of a fatherly smile lit up his features. He glanced at you, exhausted on the delivery table, and couldn’t help his next words.

“Congratulations, it’s a keeper.” You couldn’t help but laugh.

[a-confused-turtle]

I’m Fine and It’s Nothing

Fandom: Star Trek (Specifically in Star Trek Beyond)

Request(By Anon): So if requests are open, in Star Trek Beyond [oh a Kirk x Reader x big brother! Bones], when Spock and Bones leave, reader goes with them and she gets stabbed instead of Spock, and then lots and lots of angst, but cute fluff and a happy ending????

Words: Just over 2000

Pairing/Characters: JamesTKirkxMcCoy!Reader, BigBrother!Leonard McCoy, Spock, possibly mentions of others.

Warning: Life threatening injury. A curse or two? Spoilers if you haven’t seen Star Trek Beyond...

Author’s Note: Nonnie! Love, I hope this was what you had in mind. I tried to keep it along the same lines of what went on in the movie. Agh, okay, well here goes.

With a deafening crunch followed by horrible scraping noises, that deathtrap of a ship finally skidded to a violent halt. For one moment, one singular, almost calm breath, everything was still. Well, until you noticed the pain in your abdomen. And then the blood, staining your blue shirt. And the metal object dangerously protruding out of your stomach…

Leonard would not react well to this. Of course that had to be your first thought. The second though, that was about Jim… You couldn’t help thinking about where he’d ended up. The thought of him not making it hurt more than the massive blood loss you were about to experience.

Just as predicted, once Leonard caught sight of your wound, he fell sheet white but somehow spitting mad. “Y/N, good god,” he yelled, “Sit down, come on. Hold on.”

Spock on the other hand, watched you intently with something you’d never noticed in his eyes before: Worry.

“We have to keep moving,” you breathed, the pain intensifying.

“Yes, we must, search for the rest of the crew,” Spock added, surveying the surrounding area almost half heartedly.

Raving mad, Leonard kept yelling, “If I don’t get this out of you, you’re gonna die. If I take it out and can’t stop the bleeding you’re gonna die. So, don’t you dare try and tell-”

“Stop lecturing me, Leonard, and do it already,” you hissed.

He shut his mouth, something only you could make him do, and you were vaguely aware of him moving around some equipment or something near your feet. You tried not to think about how your big brother felt at this moment. Though he didn’t show real emotion… well ever, and had just about the worst bedside manner you’d ever encountered, you were still his baby sister.

“Spock, try the tricorder,” you forced out. You needed to know what happened to Jim, especially if you were about to die.

The Vulcan nodded as Leonard turned back to you. For once he looked nervous, not ‘angry Jim forced him into this situation nervous,’ but ‘terrified he’d lose you nervous.’ You nodded your head at him, mumbling, “Get it over with, it’ll hurt no matter what.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” he replied a little shakily, “Close your eyes, take a deep breath…”

Without warning Leonard yanked the object out of your stomach and shoved a searing hot piece of the ship in the same spot.

You’d never felt that sort of pain before, it rivaled that unrequited love you kept for Jim… But, that was a dull ache, something you’d grown so accustomed to you almost didn’t notice it any longer. Almost. This, on the other hand, it ripped fiercely into your entire body.

The scream you let out didn’t deafen either of the men, thankfully.

“Let’s go already,” you grumbled through your gritted teeth.

Spock closed the tricorder, clearly finding nothing, and helped Leonard get you up.

You could only hope it didn’t get worse from there…

~

The three of you had been walking for quite a while, luckily not encountering any of the unfriendly assailants that had appeared to have taken the rest of the crew, until Spock noticed a different kind of structure amongst the rocky terrain. “Look at those markings…”

You lurched forward weakly to follow him when your brother butted in, “Y/N, hold on, you’re hurt-”

“You think I don’t know that? Don’t test me Leonard, even like this I could kick your ass,” you grumbled, not straying from your course toward Spock.

“Intriguing, those symbols are the same as those depicted on the artifact that was taken,” he observed, offering you a hand which you waved off.

“They are,” you murmured.

Leonard kept his distance from you at the prompting of your glare, but inquired, “You think it came from here?”

“It would seem so,” Spock answered, taking a bit of a closer look.

You went to speak, but the words wouldn’t come, as if your mouth had turned to sand and you were suffocating from it. The world even turned a little fuzzy and you dropped out of consciousness, completely unaware both men rushed to catch you before you hit the ground full force.

Leonard barely held it together and only let out some semblance of relief when your eyes fluttered open again.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, “Just tired.”

“Horseshit, you are! Stay with us, come on, Y/N!”

“I’m fully conscious now, yelling isn’t going to do anything, Leonard.”

“She does have a point, Doctor.”

~

They got you to your feet again, moving significantly slower, not that you seemed to notice though. All you could focus on was Jim and all the questions about his well-being swirling around in your head. How could you be so stupid as to fall in love with him, of all people?

“Y/N, don’t close your eyes. You have to stay awake for me, sweetheart,” Leonard insisted fervently, gently clapping his hand onto your cheek a couple times.

“I’m still fully conscious, I was simply resting my eyes, Leonard,” you sighed and squinted at your older brother. Your front may have been convincing to others, but not him. Doubling as a doctor and your sibling, he knew, he noticed the increasing feebleness in your movements, the fire behind your eyes slowly diminishing. “We should get moving anyway,” you suggested with a look over to Spock for support at the statement.

He agreed with a nod and moved to help Leonard get you to your feet.

After several minutes spent walking, more like trudging in the best route the three of you could manage, you finally said what you knew Spock was thinking and Leonard was dreading. Between shallow breaths you said, “You would make better time without me. I’m slowing you down, so I must insist-”

“Y/N, think about what you’re saying!” Leonard interrupted in a roar.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it! You both need to find the crew and Jim, everyone regrouping is the only chance-”

Leonard scoffed, so you cut yourself off staring daggers at him.

Spock chose the wrong moment to chime in, saying, “Doctor, it is imperative that we-”

“I don’t care,” he yelled back, “She is my baby sister! Y/N, we’re all each other has left…”

You placed a gentle though shaky hand on your protective brother’s cheek. “That’s not true. You know that’s not true. The rest of our family is out there, we just have to get to them… You just have to get to them…”

“It’s not the same for me, Y/N/N, you have somebody that…” He trailed off, covering his hand with yours.

Now that puzzled you… You had someone that what? But, before the confusion could make its way to your lips, ominous ships were buzzing around you, circling your little group.

Spock opened his mouth to speak only to be interrupted by your brother. “You don’t have to say it.”

He did speak again despite Leonard’s protests, but you didn’t catch it. Your mind felt fuzzy and you could barely keep your eyes open again. Nothing focused and your stomach screamed in even more pain.

Somehow you caught Leonard saying, “At least I won’t die alone,” and then found yourself stumbling in a strange room, though vaguely familiar in some way.

Spock spoke urgently ahead of you to Jim who wasn’t hearing a word he said once he caught sight of you clutching your stomach, looking paler than death. Then, Leonard appeared behind you, grumbling something about his innards and a barnyard dance.

“I’m fine,” you attempted.

“In a pig’s eye you are! Are there any medical supplies on this thing?”

~

Jim carefully helped you lay down on a small couch near one of the control areas while your brother sorted through the ‘medical supplies’ Scotty and his new friend had found. If Leonard hadn’t been so occupied with that, or saving your life, he surely would have stood a bit closer to you and tried to intimidate his best friend to get away from you. He always did that around any men looking at you in any way, even with Jim though his womanizing ways seemed to have gone by the wayside…

“What happened, exactly?” Jim pressed.

But, you cut off Spock’s answer, “It’s fine, listen to Spock about the markings, what we saw- OW!”

Jim’s eyes were pleading, focused on you so intently and in a way you never noticed before. While you wanted to assure him you were fine, that would have been difficult to do through your grimaces and whimpers of pain.

“Captain, our main objective is to find the crew.”

“You think I don’t know that, Spock?” Jim snapped.

“Then, listen to him! There are more pressing matters at hand than me,” you managed almost fiercely.

“Give him a minute,” said Leonard, calm as you had ever seen him. “Y/N, Spock… give Jim a minute and then we’ll figure out a plan.”

Leonard finished with your wound and the subpar medical supplies, for now, and quietly forced Spock out of the room in front of him, the others a fair way ahead. If that wasn’t bizarre enough, your brother showing a little tact and even bedside manner, the sight before you… James Tiberius Kirk still knelt next to where you laid, utterly silent and avoiding eye contact with you at all costs; instead, he chose to concentrate on the blood stain across your blue shirt.

“Jim-”

“You’re right,” he mumbled, “I’ll listen to Spock and get the crew back… Seeing you like this, just…” The captain’s eyes finally flicked to your face, your confused and speechless face, and a ragged sigh escaped his lips. “It’s nothing.”

“You were all I could think about. When we were out there, I thought I was dying, and you’re the one I couldn’t stop thinking about.” Before you had the chance to stop yourself, the words slipped out with an intimate tone. Emotions, feelings for others especially, had never been your forte; you’d never been so vulnerable with anyone, certainly not Jim.

Jim blinked a few times, eyes searching yours for an answer to that unspoken question, the one you’d never wanted to answer, or ask, out of fear.

That same fear rose up that instant, speaking for you. “You don’t have to say anything. Just… forget it. I’m not going to die. Leonard would never forgive me if I did, can’t have that.”

At the mention of Leonard, Jim’s expression changed, hardening and softening almost simultaneously. “Y/N, I can’t forget it. All these years I’ve been saying it’s nothing, to forget it. It’s not, because from the moment you left my sight on the bridge I haven’t stopped thinking of you. You’re always on my mind to be honest,” he spoke passionately, a hint of his trademark smirk dancing across his lips, “It’s almost a little annoying actually. I wouldn’t have it any other way though… I love you.”

Your jaw went slack at the daring proclamation, mind working to process it all. “Years?”

He nodded in response, unusually quiet.

“Jim, I-I…”

“I just needed you to know,” he interrupted, “We still have work to do and-”

“Would you hush? Indeed we still have work to do and people to save. So, I’ll make it quick,” you shot back, suddenly discovering a bit of your usual fire. In one quick movement your lips connected with his as you both leaned to him and pulled him to you. “I love you too,” you breathed shakily once your lips drifted away from his.

The smile that graced his face, even had you grinning. His eyes, on the other hand, spoke in different tongues of the layers weighing him down and lifting him up in that moment.

“Let’s get to work.”

Once more kiss and his hand taking yours firmly told you everything would turn out alright. Your happiness in that moment could have contended with anything the universe had to throw at you.

Tags: @enniaram

[auduna-druitt]

A Comedy of Errors (Part two)

Part One

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Pairing: McKirk

Word Count: 3266

Prompt: Here

Rating: Teen

Beta’d: @yourtropegirl

All stories: @feelmyroarrrr, @mccoymostly, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @pinkamour1588, @goodnightwife, @ryon1101, @captainsbabysitter-blog, @medicatemedrmccoy, @mrkrychek, @southernbellestatues, @goingknowherewastaken, @emmkolenn, @landlockedastronaut​, @eyeofdionysus, @mysteriously-lost-forever

McKirk: @pinkamour1588, @mccoymostly, @yourtropegirl, @t-hy-lla, @medicatemedrmccoy, @imoutofmyvulcanmind, @frostingsfics, @shewolf-2013, @nasanatmfers, @lurkch, @a-legion-of-benedicts, @illogical-potato, @future-kat-lady, @eyeofdionysus

A/N: This takes place a couple years after A Very McCoy Christmas, Ice Skating, and Timezones

Jim saw a flash of blue run past his room and the door down the hall slammed shut. “Excuse me mom...Chris.” he said as he turned and walked out the door. Crossing the hall he knocked lightly on Joanna’s door. “Jojo? Can I come in?”

The door opened and Joanna wrapped her arms around him sniffling. He pulled her away gently and knelt down, “What’s wrong Jojo?”

“Daddy...daddy said…” she sniffled and buried her face in his shoulder.

Jim shifted and sat on the floor with his back against the door frame. He pulled Joanna into his lap and held her close. “What did daddy say princess?”

“Daddy said...mama was a mistake...that means I’m a mistake too…”

“Oh Jojo...sweetie, daddy doesn’t think you are a mistake. You are the best thing that has ever happened to your daddy. He loves you so very much princess...we both do.”

“But daddy said…”

“Daddy didn’t mean it like that. I know he didn’t. I know your daddy pretty well and he would never ever think you were a mistake.”

Joanna nodded and laid her head on Jim’s shoulder. Winona and Chris watched them from the other bedroom. Turning to Chris, Winona smiled. “Our little boy is pretty smart.”

He laughed and sat down on the bed. “He’s a good kid. I knew he had potential. He’s a great dad too.”

Winona nodded, “He has you to thank for that. You’ve been the father he never had. Thank you Chris. For taking an interest in my boy and challenging him.”

Downstairs Eleanora walked up to her boys and linked her arm in Leonard’s. “Nathan go wait outside. I’ll talk to you in a minute.”

“Yes mama,” he said turning around and opening the door.

Eleanora walked Leonard back into the library “I’m sorry Leonard. I didn’t know he was coming… I know you didn’t want him here. I can’t imagine how he found out.”

Leonard patted his mother’s hand, “It’s okay mama. He probably read about it.”

“Do you want me to ask him to leave?”

Sighing Leonard shook his head. “Might as well let him stay. I just wish Joanna hadn’t heard me say that...I should go up and talk to her…”

“Daddy?”

Leonard turned to face his daughter standing in the doorway of the library, tears running down her cheeks. He dropped to his knees and held his arms out to her, “I am so sorry baby girl…”

She sniffled and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I know daddy. It’s okay. Papa Jim told me.”

“Papa Jim told you…”

“I love you too daddy,” she whispered in his ear.

An hour and a half later the guests had mostly arrived and were milling around the backyard. Eleanora, Uhura, and Donna were overseeing the caterers in the kitchen while Pavel, Scotty, Hikaru, and Ben conversed with the guests outside. Spock had finally arrived and was upstairs with Chris and Winona trying to keep Jim calm as the wedding drew nearer. Leonard sat alone in the library in front of the fire, Joanna had left him to go play with Demora in the yard. She had promised to be careful and to stay out of the way.

Leonard had been deep in thought when he heard a scream from outside. A scream he knew. He leapt out of his seat and rushed out the back door. “Joanna?!” He grabbed Hikaru,  “Where’s Joanna?”

“She was around the side of the house with Demora. Ben was with them…” Hikaru turned and the color in his face drained when he saw his husband talking with one of the guests. “Shit. I thought he was with them.”

Leonard ran around to the side of the house with Hikaru right behind him, neither girl was there. “Joanna!” he yelled as he ran around to the front of the house.

“Daddy!!” she cried and ran to him.

“Joanna, what happened? Why’d you scream? Are you okay?”

She nodded and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry daddy. I was playing with Demora and I fell…” she sniffled and pulled the fluffy blue tutu up so he could see. “I ripped my skirt and scraped my knee.”

Sighing Leonard took her by the hand and walked her up onto the front porch. He settled her in the swing and turned to Hikaru, “Would you bring me my med kit off the nightstand in the bedroom?”

“Of course,” he said as he opened the front door and led Demora inside.

Leonard looked at the scrape and smiled at Joanna. “Nothing I can’t fix sweetie.”

She sniffled again and nodded, “Yes daddy...but what about my dress?”

“We’ll look at that in a minute. I want to get your knee taken care of first okay?”

Hikaru returned a minute later with the med kit in hand and handed it to Leonard. Once he had her knee fixed up he looked at the rip in her skirt.

“Can you fix it daddy?”

He looked up at her and sighed. “I don’t know baby girl. Fashion isn’t really my thing.”

“Could papa Jim fix it?”

Leonard sat down on the swing beside her and put his arm around her. “I’m afraid papa Jim isn’t as familiar with this material.”

“But he fixes his shirts…”

“That’s a little different Jojo. Why don’t we see if aunt Donna can fix it?”

“Or maybe Peaches?”

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Or maybe Peaches.”

The front door opened a crack and Jim poked his head out. “Everything okay out here? What did you need your medkit for?”

“Everything’s fine Jim. Don’t worry.”

“Just wanted to make sure,” he said and slipped back inside.

Leonard shook his head and gave Joanna a squeeze. “Why don’t we go find Donna?”

Joanna hopped off the swing, “I can do it daddy. Thank you for fixing my knee.”

“Any time angel. Try and be a little more careful?”

“Yes daddy.” She took Demora by the hand and the two of them disappeared around to the back of the house.

Sighing Leonard closed his eyes and started swinging. His mind wandering to the blonde in the house. Wondering how he was and if he was ready or not. He sat on the quiet front porch listening to the chatter of people at the back of the house. In less than an hour he would be standing in front of those people marrying the love of his life….

“Leonard?”

The swing stopped and he opened his eyes, the young woman standing on the porch in front of him smiled. Tucking a stray strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, she fidgeted with her dress and shuffled her feet uncomfortably. “Hey Leonard…”

“Jocelyn? What are you...? Why are you here?”

“I’m sorry. I should have called or something. I just...Congratulations. I hear Jim is absolutely wonderful.”

Leonard frowned, “Where’d you hear that?”

She smiled and looked at the floor, “Joanna. She talks nonstop about her papa these days. You’d think he hung the moon for her.”

Leonard laughed, “Given the chance I think he would.”

“I’m glad you found someone. I know we didn’t work and maybe we should have tried harder... I’m glad he makes you happy. You deserve it.”

Leonard stood to his feet and stepped toward her. “Thank you Jocelyn. I appreciate that.”

“Is Joanna around? I’d like to see her before I go.”

“You aren’t staying?”

She blushed, “I wasn’t invited and I don’t want to cause trouble…”

“Don’t worry. You can sit with Nathan and Rachel.”

Jocelyn winced, “They’re here? Shit. I’m sorry Leonard.”

“Don’t worry about it. In fact maybe you can help. See Joanna just ripped her dress…”

Jocelyn smiled and headed for the door, “Say no more. I’m on it.”

As the ceremony drew nearer the house began to clear out of any guests and wedding party. Leonard walked through the library and into the family room. Looking out the back windows at the guests beginning to take their seats he sat down at the shiny black baby grand piano. Looking down at the black and white keys he reached up and played a couple of notes. Joanna climbed up on the bench beside him. “Play me something daddy.”

He smiled down at her and placed his fingers over the keys. “I dropped my dolly in the dirt. I asked my dolly if it hurt. But all my dolly said to me was wah, wah, wah wah wah!”

Joanna giggled and leaned against him. “Play me something pretty daddy.”

“Oh, Jojo I’m not sure I remember. It’s been awhile since I played the piano.”

“Please daddy?”

He looked down at her big brown eyes and sighed. “I’ll try.”

The sound of the piano drifted through the house and up the stairs. Jim frowned and walked out to the balcony over the family room. He stood listening to Leonard playing the piano until Joanna scampered off outside with Demora again. Making his way down the stairs Jim walked up behind the brunette and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Always full of surprises.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to see each other yet?”

“I thought we didn’t believe in superstitions?”

Leonard smiled and put his hand over Jim’s, “Doin’ okay?”

“I’m good. How are you holding up?”

“I’d be better if I had you by my side. You know my brother showed up?”

Jim released him and slid onto the seat beside him. “Nathan is here? No one told me that.”

“Well he is...he brought Rachel. Oh, and Jocelyn is here too.”

“Jocelyn, Rachel, and Nathan….I did not see that coming.”

Leonard shook his head, “You and me both kid.”

“Is it really still appropriate to call me kid? I mean we are about to get married…”

“Sorry, old habits die hard.”

Jim ran his fingers over the keys in front of him and pressed a couple of them. “What’s your favorite song? One that you know how to play.”

Leonard shook his head, “Jim, I can only play one song.”

“Play it?”

“Jim.”

“Please Leonard? I’ve never heard you play before.”

Sighing Leonard placed his hands on the keys and began to play a melody. Behind them Eleanora and Donna stood watching. Jim watched Leonard’s fingers dance gracefully over the keys as he played the song he learned as a child. When the song ended Jim continued to stare at the black and white keys before him. Leonard glanced over and smiled. “Not often I can do that.”

Jim frowned and looked up at him slowly. “Do what?”

“Leave you speechless.”

Donna stepped forward and put a hand on her brother’s shoulder “Sorry to interrupt you boys but your guests are waiting.”

“Right. Thanks Donna.”

She smiled and walked outside with Eleanora leaving the two of them alone. Leonard stood to his feet and pressed his lips to Jim’s forehead. “I’ll see you out there.”

Jim smiled and watched Leonard slip out the door. He stood and looked out over the backyard that was full of his family and friends. He’d never dreamed he’d marrying his best friend, he never thought he’d be a dad, but here he was about to have both. Winona and Chris walked down the stairs and over to him.

“Jim? Are you ready?”

He turned to face his mom. “I’m ready. I’ve been ready.”

“Got everything you need?”

“Think so.”

“Phil said you two were writing your own vows. You got those?”

Jim froze and reached into his coat pocket. It was empty. He felt on his pants pockets. Empty. The color drained from his face. “No no no! This can not be happening to me! Not today!”

Chris reached out and took hold of Jim’s arm to keep him upright. “Jim..do I need to get Leonard?”

Jim sat down on the piano bench and shook his head. Winona sat down beside him and took him by the hand. “Jim, breathe sweetheart. It’ll be okay.”

“I don’t have it.” he said quietly

“Have what dear?”

“My vows...I don’t have them. I must have left them in the apartment.”

“Are you sure?”

Jim nodded, “Yeah. I remember writing them and Chris looking over them the day before we left. I think I put them in the drawer…”

“What do you need Jim?”

He shook his head and took a deep breath. “A glass of water?”

Chris walked into the kitchen while Winona sat with her son. Rubbing a hand over his back and holding one of his hands with the other. “It’ll be okay Jim. Just speak from the heart.”

He nodded and took the glass of water Chris held out to him. Taking a sip he looked up and smiled, “Thanks.”

Outside the music started and Donna popped her head in the door. “You know your cue?”

Jim stood to his feet and straightened his suit, “Yeah.”

“You’ll do great Jim,” she said reassuringly before slipping back out.

Jim offered his arm to his mother and she linked her arm in his. Chris stepped over to the door and opened it for them. Once they were outside Jim offered his other arm to Chris and smiled. Chris shook his head but linked his arm through Jim’s and the three of them started down the aisle together.

Leonard stood at the end of the aisle with Joanna standing in front of him and his sister at his side. Jim smiled at the sight of his little family waiting for him beneath the arch a tear slipping down his cheek.

He cried when his mother handed him over to Leonard.

He cried when Chris gave him away.

He cried when Leonard read his vows.

They both cried when they presented Joanna with her ring.

When Phil finally pronounced them married Jim looked into Leonard’s eyes and smiled. Leonard slipped his hand behind Jim’s neck and pulled him toward him. Their first kiss as a married couple. Jim closed his eyes and let himself melt into the kiss. Leonard pulled away sooner than he wanted and they turned to face their family and friends.

Walking arm in arm back down the aisle and back into the house Jim and Leonard both beamed with pride. Going up the stairs to their room they stood face to face, Leonard leaning his head forward to touch his forehead to Jim’s. “I love you, husband,” he whispered.

“I love you more, husband.”

They stood there in their room just enjoying the moment and being together. Joanna came in and wrapped her arms around Jim’s leg. Leonard reached down and put his hand on her back, “Hey baby girl.”

“Hi daddy,” she said snuggling up against Jim. “Peaches sent me to get you and papa Jim. She says it’s time for the party.”

“Okay princess, we’re coming.”

She grinned and released her hold on Jim’s leg. “Thank you for my ring. It’s really pretty.”

Jim smiled down at her and lifted her up into his arms. “You are very welcome sweet girl.”

Leonard put his arm around Jim and smiled at the two of them. “I love you both so much.”

Joanna reached out and put her hand on her dad’s cheek. “We love you too daddy.”

The three of them made their way down the stairs and back out to the now empty backyard and head down the pumpkin lantern lined path to the old barn. Standing at the curtained entrance to the barn Jim slipped his hand in Leonard’s and set Joanna down. She took his other hand and smiled up at him. “I’m glad you married daddy. I’m glad you’re my papa.”

The curtain parted and the gathered guests cheered and clapped as the little family entered the barn. Taking their seats at the head table they were served dinner. Jim cleaned his plate under the watchful eye of his husband before the speeches began. Most of their family and friends kept their speeches short but Spock had to be cut off by Uhura. Jim cried through many of the speeches and clutched his mother’s hand after she gave hers. Eleanora’s made Leonard tear up and Donna cry.

Once the speeches were over and the plates had been cleared Leonard stood to his feet and held out a hand to his husband. Jim took it and followed Leonard out onto the empty dance floor. Leonard put his arm around Jim’s waist and smiled. “Just follow my lead sweetheart.”

Jim laid his head on Leonard’s shoulder as they danced in the middle of the dancefloor. Leonard singing softly in his ear Jim closed his eyes and let the rest of the world fade away. They were the only two people in the world that mattered.

When the song ended they both turned to their mothers standing at the side of the dance floor. Leonard and his mother talked quietly while they danced and Jim and Winona both shed silent tears as they held each other close.

After a break for cake Leonard and Jim returned to the dance floor with Joanna and the three of them danced together for a little while before Jim slipped away and left Leonard to dance with his daughter. Standing on his feet they swayed to the music until Leonard felt a tap on his shoulder. Stopping he turned and smiled. “Hey Chris.”

“I was wondering if I might cut in?”

Joanna frowned, “What’s that mean?”

“That mean he wants to dance.”

“Oh!” Joanna smiled. “Okay! I’m gonna go play with Demora!”  She said cherrily and skipped off.

Leonard shook his head, “Sorry Chris.”

“That’s okay. I suppose I could dance with you.”

Leonard glanced around and spotted Jim at the end he of the dance floor. He leaned over and said something to Phil and the two of them stepped out and started dancing. “Might as well. Our husbands are.”

Chris glanced over his shoulder, “Not sure we can leave those two alone together for long. No telling what shenanigans they’ll get up to.”

Leonard held a hand out to Chris and sighed. “Shall we?”

Chris took his hand and placed the other on Leonard’s waist. Both men took a step forward and bumped right into each other. Laughing they straightened out and tried again. “I’ll lead.” Chris said and Leonard nodded.

“This time.”

“Whatever you say,” Chris muttered as he took a step forward and Leonard stepped back.

“So I’m not sure if I thanked you for keeping an eye on Jim for me before the wedding.”

“You didn’t...but you don’t have to. I’d have done it anyway.”

“Yeah well thanks Chris. We couldn’t have done it without you. You did introduce us after all.”

Laughing Chris shook his head. “I did nothing of the sort. You both decided to enlist of your own free will.”

Leonard raised an eyebrow, “Free will huh? I seem to recall this smooth talking man promising big things if I was to join up.”

“I wasn’t wrong though. You did get something out of the deal.” Chris looked over Leonard’s shoulder and smiled at his husband and surrogate son dancing beside Joanna and Demora.

Leonard turned and followed his gaze and couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. I did get something pretty great.”

“Just promise me something Leonard?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t hurt my boy.”

Leonard shook his head and looked at his smiling blonde husband. His blue eyes sparkling and the little creases at the corners of his eyes… “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

[janeykath318]

The Princess Uhura Diaries

June 6 This girl is a college graduate!!! Woohoo! So happy to have my degree at last. Harvard is no joke, believe me. Even Grandmother almost smiled at me when I saw her after the ceremony. I may fall short in the social graces, but she can't doubt my brains! Celebrated with the girls, then said goodbye and Scotty the Royal Terrier and I are now on the plane back to Genovia. I'll miss my school sisters big time, but duty calls. I'm being groomed for queenhood someday and Grandmother wants me back there for more tutoring in the ways of being royal. Sigh. 

June 8th Landed back in Genovia yesterday and found a couple big surprises. Grandmother renovated and updated a new suite for me. It's mind-blowing luxurious. The walk in closet is to DIE for. That'll come in handy for my extensive shoe collection. The bathroom is larger than my whole bedroom at Mom's and the bed.....well, it's every princess's dream. But that wasn't the only thing that surprised me. When I went in to my giant closet, who should pop up but Gaila, my bestie from New York!! There was lots of squealing and catching up after that. She came all the way over here for my party, bless her heart. June 15th I survived the party, thanks to Gaila and the cute guy I almost ran over on the dance floor. Yum-yum. It started Off like any other royal bash, me coming forth in my fancy gown introduced to a crowd of nobles and diplomats and forced to dance with a motley assortment of stuffed shirts. Ugh. The Pimply French kid was the worst. Then there was the awkward Swedish prince who stepped on my toes three times. I was so relieved to get away from him, I ran smack dab into some poor guy just standing there minding his own business, stepping on his foot even. He kind of doubled over for a second and I apologized as profusely as I could, dying with embarrassment at my perpetual clumsiness. Then he looked up at me and I met the most stunning pair of blue eyes I'd ever seen. He was kind of surprised himself I think, before he recovered and I made a joke about insurance information to which he smoothly replied in kind. It was almost flirting, but I was so relieved to finally meet a decent guy, I agreed to a dance almost before he'd finished asking. June 16th So much for a decent guy. Turns out he's gunning for my crown!! Today Gran had an uncomfortable meeting with parliament and they brought up the old law that requires a female to be married in order to inherit the crown!! I thought they'd done away with anachronistic, sexist rules like that. Evidently not. So, I've got to get myself a man before my next birthday or this James Tiberius Kirk brat gets a chance to lay claim to the throne. I don't know how, but his Uncle, the Viscount Mabry, said he should get the throne because he's more familiar with the Genovian society. Then, he brought him over to live here for the summer! When I saw who it was, well, I was steamed and disappointed. Let's just say, this time, when I stepped on his foot, it wasn't an accident. Gran said afterward, "As a Queen, I cannot condone it, but as a Grandma, I say RIGHT ON!!" I love that woman. June 22 Ever since HE moved in, I feel on edge everyday, like they're looking for reasons I shouldn't be allowed to rule. The Viscount is always sneering and sniffing at me and James is trying to pretend like he's not a lying scumbag. If it weren't for Gaila's refreshing presence, I'd have ripped out my hair by now, or thrown myself in the duck pond. First there was the embarrassing episode with the runaway chicken. I admit, it was stupid of me to open the clucking basket, but James looked way too tickled by my mortification. Then there was the inspection of the guard and I had to ride sidesaddle past the whole company without looking like I was in mortal fear of falling to a terrible demise. Of course, the supposedly calm horse spooked at something and knocked me on my rear anyway. Needless to say, my humiliation was complete, AGAIN. I saw Joe looking very grim and somewhat menacing at the Viscount, but I have no idea why. James had the goodness to keep his mouth shut for once. June 27 Gram is dead set on finding me a husband now. She loathes the Viscount and his schemes to get his nephew the throne. So she and Joe started vetting possible candidates and last night Gaila and looked through the options. It felt creepy. Who wants to pick their husband like he's a dinner option on a menu? But Parliament would have to abolish the longheld law with a two-thirds vote, and The Prime Minister says there isn't enough opposition  to get the required votes. I can tell that bothers him, but his hands are tied. So, we scrolled through various young lords and princes until we came to a nice looking Vulcan by the name of Spock. He's tall, dark, and very handsome, with cute pointy ears and looks very calm and logical like most of his species. I gave him the thumbs up and Gram declared she would invite him to visit Genovia immediately. I'm not promising to marry the guy, but I need something to keep me from thinking about those blue eyes!!! (Darn them) James still keeps trying to convince me our lie dance wasn't a lie and he really did enjoy it!! July 1st. Today was the Founder's Day Parade. As the princess and heir to the throne, I am obligated to sit on a float and wave at the crowds beside Grandmother. It's totally not my thing, but necessary for public relations. So up I got, pleased that James had to experience the same discomfort with his pompous windbag uncle. Despite my dislike of him, I have to admit he was pretty smooth at the mingling with the masses part and not nearly as uncomfortable as I'd hoped. I forgot about that when I passed the girls from the orphanage and saw the wistful expression in those eyes. Impulsively, I got down from the float and invited the girls to walk with me at the front. After all, in my view, every girl deserves to feel like a princess even if they never see a tiara. It ended up being the best part of the day and Gram didn't even really scold me. Even James told me sincerely it was a sweet thing to do. July 8th Spock arrived and we met in person for the first time. Let's just say he's even more handsome in real life and has those dark brown eyes that aren't hiding any nefarious designs! (Unlike some) We get along well, if it was a little awkward at first. Vulcans are very literal and logical and don't always get the jokes, so I try not to get too punny around him. Turns out he's WAY into science and stuff, founded a special scientific institute in his country even. July 12th. Been on several outings with Spock. He's quite a conversationalist once you get him talking. We took some long walks around the coast, played badminton, and several chess games, at which he royally kicked my butt. Of course, the whole thing is being blown up by the media and turned into a soap opera, which is really annoying.  The Viscount though, is really grumpy about it, much to my satisfaction, and James gives me odd looks sometimes, which I find highly unsettling for no reason at all! July 25th The Garden Party started out well, and ended in me doing something monumentally STUPID!! How could I let it happen? HOW?? I hate his guts so much right now!! James arrived at the party looking all smug and dapper as usual, with a knockout blonde on his arm, whom he introduced as Carol. She seemed like a nice girl, but it looked more like Jim was just trying to get me jealous, which is totally ridiculous because I don't even like him!!! Anyway, somehow, Spock and Carol got talking on some deeply technical scientific stuff and James and I were left alone. He started making suggestions that I'm only using Spock to keep my throne and of course I told him off for that, the hypocrite. "I loathe you!!" I yelled finally, getting right up in his smarmy handsome face. "I loathe YOU!!" He yelled back, staring at me intently. Next thing I knew, he'd yanked my face to his and was kissing me!! I should have slapped him for that, but instead I kissed right back. I can't believe that happened. Only you, diary, will ever know that James T. Kirk is really good at kissing, much as I hate to admit it. Then we started arguing again, and somehow ended up in the fountain. I embarrassed Grandmother again. Thankfully, Spock didn't see that indiscretion, being deep in discussion. Aug. 17th Well, James has been a lot less obnoxious lately, seeing how serious Spock and I are getting. In fact, he's been downright nice, even giving me archery tips as I practiced for the test I'll undergo the night before the coronation, which involves shooting an arrow through a ring, an Old Genovian tradition, I hear. I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach when he laid his hand over mine while correcting my stance, but wow, he seems to have really gotten under my skin. Ugh. Spock has been so sweet about this whole thing and probably being married to him won't be such a bad thing, but I just can't seem to be quite as happy as I thought I would with such a perfect man.... Sept. 3rd Spock proposed. I said Yes. The kingdom is going nuts at the prospect of a wedding.   It's kind of nice, actually, being engaged to him, but I never thought I'd feel so calm about impending marriage. Gram smiles approvingly a lot, Gaila still looks at me questioningly and Jim seems down in the dumps. He mostly keeps to himself now, seems to always have a book in his hand. He and Carol have double dated with us a couple times and she's great company, but it always ends up with her and Spock doing most of the talking and Jim and I avoiding each other's eyes. I think he's changed his mind on me being a fit ruler finally. I wonder if he'll have the guts to stand up against the Viscount uncle, who's more bombastic than ever. March 5. I haven't written in forever, but wedding planning has taken over my life right now. The dress, the flowers, the table settings, the cake, pleasing the families and all that jazz is pretty exhausting. Spock's been really kind and helpful in his own way. He's great at subtly telling people when enough is enough. It's very comforting and I ought to be head over heels by now, but I'm not and that saddens me. Should I really go through with this? Is it worth losing the kingdom and hurting Gran? Should I really cave to this sexist law? Gaila told me she'll support me no matter what I decide, and it's comforting to know that. For now, everything is going ahead for an April 3rd Wedding. March 30th Had a delightfully unconventional "shower" last night. We invited princesses of all ages to the palace for a giant slumber party, including mattress surfing down the main staircase. It was a riot! Even Grandmother joined in, looking dignified while doing it. It was nice to let myself go and just be a regular girl again. Pretty soon I'll be in charge of a country and fun time? Well, Buh-bye. April 2nd I caved to temptation last night and snuck  out with Jim to the lake for a moonlight walk. I should be strong enough to resist him, but those eyes just DO things to me and he seems to be much more than an insufferable, cocky rich guy. We really talked this time and I learned about his life and growing up with no parents and I told him about New York and Gaila and my Mom and how awkward it was learning to be a princess. "You're doing a pretty fantastic job, in my opinion," he told me. "You really do care about the people and the country. My uncle is so wrong." "You really think so?" I asked (He was holding my hand at this point). "Sure do." He smiled at me and my heart did a flip again. Shoving the guilt aside, I stayed with him. We danced in the moonlight and curled up under a tree and dozed off. Bad idea. Next thing I know, there come the paparazzi and I'm running away in rage and panic, wondering if it was all a set up by Jim to create a scandal and wreck the wedding. I really need to make better choices. April 3rd Well, there was a wedding today, but not mine. I couldn't go through with it, not after searching my own heart and realizing I'm in love with someone else. It's not fair to Spock, logical as he's been about the whole thing. When Joe told me that James had NOT planted those paps to ruin me and he believed the young man was besotted with me, well, the was the finishing touch. I went out there and told Spock I couldn't go through with it. He was very gracious as usual and I think I detected a faint trace of relief on his part. Then the good ole Viscount got up and started haranguing me again and how he wouldn't stand for this. After he stormed out in a huff, the Prime Minister came up and told me now was a good time to convince Parliament to change the rules. "They're waiting to be convinced. Go after them and tell them what's what. Don't back down." I always liked the Prime Minister. Lord Pike is a good man. Up I got and explained why women are perfectly capable of ruling a country without a husband. Most of them seemed to be receptive, but one old fellow had to ask "What does the other heir think?" There was a silence, and James stood up, much to my surprise. I certainly didn't expect him to be there after everything that happened to be there. He looked like he'd had a bad night, but what he said warmed me through. He backed me up completely!! Even said he utterly refused to be king because he felt the crown was mine and I would be a great queen. "Plus, she'll look lovely on all our postage stamps," he added saucily, with a smile at me. Once he'd finished, he turned and left without further ado, leaving me both grateful and puzzled. The Prime Minister called for a vote right then and there and the law was overturned. That wasn't the end of the surprises, though. Grandmother stood up and declared it would be a shame to waste all the bridal plans, so she and Joe would be filling in as the happy couple. It's very unlike her to be so impulsive, but the two of them together has been a long time coming and I gladly played bridesmaid as they were united in marriage. What a day!!! April 16th I passed the archery test with flying colors and the coronation will proceed tomorrow as planned. I'm really nervous about it, but this evening something wonderful happened. I was lounging in my drawing room, Scotty beside me on his little doggy throne, when Jim appeared and knelt before me. "What is your dilemma, young man?" I asked him playfully. Those big blue eyes were looking at me so intensely, I thought I would drown in them. "I am in love with the queen to be and am inquiring as to whether she loves me too." I admit, I launched myself at him in a very unqueenly manner and we held each other tightly, finally giving in to the electricity between us. Then he whispered "Nyota!" In my ear in a longing, loving tone and I kissed the daylights out of him. How I love that man. Scotty was annoyed at losing my undivided attention and stalked off in high dudgeon, yipping, but we were too busy to care. I'll make it up to him. April 18th The coronation went off with much pomp and circumstance. I now understand what they mean when they say "heavy is the head that wears the crown". Not only is it a huge responsibility to be ruler of a country, but the crown is literally HEAVY. My head was sweating the whole day. Between Grandmother, Joe, Gaila, and Jim, I was subtly encouraged by my loved ones and made it through the long ceremonies fairly well. Grandmother bustles around looking proud, Joe kept the throng from getting too big, Gaila smiled, and Jim looked dazzled and proud and utterly gorgeous. Even Spock attended with Carol sticking to his side. I think those two might have a thing going...... (Skips over a year of entries until the next June) June 6th I married Jim yesterday. It truly was the best day of my life and Mom got to be there, which was wonderful. I'd felt weird wearing the same dress that I'd originally picked out to marry someone else, so the original was auctioned for charity to support the orphanage. My new gown was a simple long white satin with elegant sheer sleeves and delicate crystals scattered over it. It moved beautifully as well, and Jim seemed to like it judging by the countless times he's told me how gorgeous I am. He's no slouch either, rocking that royal uniform with confidence and style. Joe walked me down the aisle, which made Grandmother very happy. (Was that a tear I saw in her eye?) Jim's eyes were just glowing as we exchanged vows and I hope I was able to convey my own love and joy so perfectly. "How does it feel to be a prince?" I asked him when it was over. "Not as good as being your husband," he answered softly, kissing my hand regally. I swooned inwardly. Who could help it? Just as we started our first dance, he looked down at his feet with feigned anxiety. "Are my toes safe today?" He asked, the rascal, bringing up our awkward first two meetings. I laughed. "You bet, baby." Well, Jim is starting to stir beside me and I think I saw one blue eye open a bit, so I'd better stop for now. I will say, he has totally cute bedhead! I think I'm going to ruffle it up some more.

[thenorsiest]

Jim could feel the hot sand pressing against his back. Spock’s strong arms grappling with him against the staff, the only barrier between them. His arms went flying up with the force the Vulcan exerted, the weapon thrown across the ground. It was only them now. Only two bodies sweating in the Vulcan heat as they struggled for dominance.

It was all Kirk could do to fight against the arms. Spock’s face was lowered over his own, ripe with an anguished expression. ‘If only I could help’ Kirk thought ‘if only I could end this madness for you’. Something passed between them then. Some realization. The arms loosened in their grip and Spock’s face lowered towards Kirk’s.

‘You can’ the not quite a voice pleaded and before Jim knew what was happening Spock’s mouth was on his like a dream come to fruition. It couldn’t be real, could it? but the gasps of shock from the others told him that it was.

Kirk slipped his hands from the pressured hold. He pushed, rolling Spock over on his back, taking a moment away from the supple mouth to stare down at him. ‘Is this really what you want? Do you want ME Spock?’ The dark eyes stared back at him for a moment the insanity cleared just enough that he could be believed in his sincerity “please captain” he uttered aloud.

Kirk didn’t need more incentive than that. No longer fighting with the Vulcan he now struggled with his clothing. The shirt so easily ripped from his own body (as many of his did) but Spock’s was almost as steadfast as the man who wore them. He pried until the bare chest of thick hair was revealed and slid his hands across the muscular torso.

Their mouths met again as the clinging of the bells sounded. The procession party shaking them as was custom. McCoy looked on in shock but unable to bring himself to look away as the men made out before them. T’Pring raised a brow as Stonn tilted his head, while T’pau remained as rigged and silent as before. Quietly approving of this peaceful solution.

Kirk leaned in and found his lips against Spock’s neck. His first officer unable to stop the calls of pleasure in his fevered state. ‘Yes Jim, more, please’ the sound of his thoughts growing louder in Kirk’s head. His mouth found the lobe of the Vulcans ear and Spock nearly threw him aside as he turned them back over. His strength effectively superior to the humans as he pulled at his trousers.

Kirk found himself completely exposed on the once battlefield. His skin relished the feeling of Spock gliding over him, kissing him hard and grabbing his back to pull him close. Still half clothed Spock bucked against the man beneath. Kirk’s mind completely lost. It was happening! It was finally happening. He would be with Spock. He would have this man for his lover and there would be no denying their bond ever again. No denying the love and affection between them. It was more than sex, more than some primal alien mating cycle. Kirk knew if this happened now it would mean it could happen again. That they could finally drop the formality and simply be united. He could love openly, freely, and Spock would be his at last.

He felt lightheaded as Spock removed the rest of his clothing. He saw the dimming of the sun as he felt the body against his own. Hands and legs and mouths pressed to one another. But the feeling itself began to fade. Kirk started to go numb! Why? And he remembered the plan Bones had set into place. No! This couldn’t happen. Not now! Why now?!

Jim fought with everything he could to stay conscious but the medicine overtook him. Gone were the kisses and the touches and raw sexual energy. Gone was the hope and the joy and the over abundance of desire being fulfilled. Gone was the chance for Kirk to show this man he loved just what he was willing to do for him.

It was all gone and only the cry of frustration remained.

OMG, but can you imagine if when they were rolling in the sands, Spock started kissing Jim…and then they were making out…and Jim gives zero fucks that people were watching because it was finally happening.  

And then…and then McCoy’s drug kicks in and Jim slides into unconsciousness internally screaming nooooo goddammit! 

And poor Spock thinks he fucked his Captain to death.

[samingtonwilson]

Return - Part 1 - Jim Kirk

Summary: takes place during sequences of star trek beyond; the last few years of episodic space travel have been taxing on jim as his heart remains with you and the abronath remains with him. a trade-off is imminent, however, when he spots you and someone else spots the artifact. (series following loot; no real reason to read it, though)

Warnings: language, lil angsty

A/N: finally! i missed reader from loot so much and i’m so excited to write that character again! the story is going to be like star trek beyond but with a VERY large addition. so! should be good, should be long. we’ll see! (i’ve tagged those of you i used to tag for loot just in case!) peace out

 It was a long time in the making— two years and three months, to be precise. 

Jim wanted to rid the Enterprise of the artifact as soon as he was alerted of its presence on the starship. He wanted to launch it into open space and watch it freeze up, watch it drift away from his life— hopefully with any memory pertaining to it. 

But planetary emergencies, more pressing peace negotiations, and other Federation business caused the artifact to drift from priorities. It was logged in the archives and remained there— neutralized as much as can be and collecting whatever dust could cling to the protective case. 

As more time passed, Jim found himself increasingly hesitant to set course to Teenax and finally pull the Abronath from the depths of the ship. 

Not because time had led to an increased attachment to the damn thing, but rather because he wasn’t as mentally prepared, as filled with anger as he once was. Facing the issues that caused the last two years and three months of space travel to stretch on like taffy in episodes that melted and oozed together was a daunting task— a task the slump-shouldered Captain didn’t think he could handle anymore. 

So as he stood and spoke before the Teenaxi Delegation gingerly clutching the case he avoided meeting the gaze of at all costs, he could see and feel his own exhaustion, his own reluctance. 

He thought right then that he actually might have grown attached to it. Though it sat in the archives and was long-forgotten by the crew, it had become a source of comfort for him. After all, loving was so short but forgetting was so long and on the self-indulgent days that led forgetting to seem like an impossible chore, the artifact was a trace of you. 

The artifact served as a reminder that he couldn’t feel his heart beating in his chest because it was somewhere far away— lying beside the perpetrator, beside someone who was likely unaware of its presence. He didn’t know its precise location, didn’t know what condition it was in, but he knew you still had it— as much as he wished that wasn’t true, as much as he’d tried otherwise. 

Jim stared at the creatures perched several stories above him, seated all around him so he stood in the middle like the circus performer he likened himself to. Their rough skin was grooved and dented to form spikes and wide features that were contorted in anger and suspected dissatisfaction as they leaned forward, extremely muscular arms holding them against the barrier while they clung onto it with curved, sharp claws. 

Jim swallowed, stood up straighter, and began the introduction Spock had written, “My name is James Tiberius Kirk of the United Federation of Planets. I am appearing before you as a neutral representative of the Fibonan Republic. I bring you a message of goodwill and present to you, esteemed members of the Teenaxi Delegation, a gift from the Fibonan High Council with the highest regard.” 

Jim’s voice sounded machine-generated even to himself— he wanted to roll his eyes at it but instead pulled the ends of the case, the lid coming open to reveal the round artifact. 

The Teenaxi stared. The creature Jim focused majority of his drony spiel upon leaned further— he carried a scepter so Jim thought focusing on him was a safe bet. “What’s wrong with it?” a curious, deep echo-like voice resonated through the stone room. 

Want a list? Jim thought to himself as he held back a snort. He sounded exhausted as he asked, “Uh, excuse me?” 

“Why don’t they want it anymore?” 

“Uh, well, this was once a piece of an ancient weapon and now they offer it as a symbol of— of peace,” the irony hadn’t hit him until now and he suppressed the heaviest of sighs. His tongue darted out to wet his lips instead. “In the Fibonan culture, to surrender a weapon is an offer of truce,” he was going off-script and could smell the bullshit rolling off his tongue. 

“How did they come by it?” 

“They told me they acquired it a long time ago.” And then it was stolen, stolen again, almost destroyed our ship, and here we are. 

“So they stole it then?” 

He almost snorted again. “No, they, um— well, I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know the Fibonans like we do.” That caused sufficient clamor— the creatures beside the central one began shifting in a defensive fashion. 

Jim shifted on his feet a little. He held the artifact up a bit and finally glanced down at it. His stomach flipped. “That’s very true. Your excellency, this gift—” 

“They’re a crowd of untrustworthy thieves,” he leaned forward more, his volume was growing, the clamoring was increasing, “who want to see us murdered in our own beds—” 

“This beloved,” he could have thrown up at that, “artifact is a symbol of trust,” he could have doubled over at that, “and peace—” 

“They want to chop us into pieces and roast us over a fire!” he was shouting now, slamming his hands against the barrier so it shook under a weight Jim couldn’t even imagine. 

Jim, tired, shook his head disbelievingly and scowled, stating matter-of-factly, “I don’t think that’s true.” 

The creature shook before Jim, practically whining out, “And eat us.”

Jim shut his eyes as he rolled them, incredulous. “What?” 

The creature, before Jim knew it, tucked in on himself and rolled down the extensive walls. Tumbling down easily, he untucked as he landed before Jim. 

Watching in fear and amusement, Jim raised his arms to block himself as if his ineffectual fight-stand would defend him against creatures that looked and sounded so strong and— 

His mouth fell open and he tilted his head as the Teenaxi leader roared— the voice no longer echoed, the muscles no longer looked large. 

The creature was the size of a common Earth pomeranian. Jim could have laughed. 

But, before a single laugh could leave his lips, the creature leaped and latched itself to Jim’s shoulders, pulling him back as sharp nails dug into his command yellow tunic. Jim swung his arms back, trying to rid himself of the pesky thing and maybe bonk the creature in the head with the artifact. 

It was to no avail, however, and, incomprehensibly, each creature hiding in the alcoves of the high-above seating area rolled down the walls and latched themselves onto Jim. He grunted and groaned as he attempted to shake them off— but to, once again, no avail.

“Scotty!” Jim shouted into his communicator, his now disheveled hair was scattered before his eyes. “Get me out of here!” 

“That was quick!” the Scottish voice quipped in amused surprise. 

“Scotty!” Jim shouted once more, screaming out as he watched another Teenaxi scurry towards him and leap atop his shoulders to smother his breathing. 

“There’s quite a bit of surface interference, sir.” 

Jim groaned in frustration and ran towards a less populated portion of the room, kicking a few small-dog-sized creatures away and lunged towards the corner of the room. He fell and screamed, “Scotty!” before the familiar weightlessness and gold rings surrounded him. 

When he appeared onto the transporter pad of the Enterprise, two Teenaxis clung to him— one around his shoulders that tried to dig sharp nails into his face and another around his leg. He was finally able to shake them off along with his boot, sighing and picking up the strewn shoe with more force than necessary. 

He took defeated, exhausted steps towards his chief engineer, sighing. “I ripped my shirt again.” 

Scotty, unable to offer the mess of a man the slightest bit of a genuine smile, asked, “How’d it go?” 

Jim walked through the Enterprise, hair sticking up on all ends, as he held his boot in one hand and the artifact in the other. A part of him, a larger part than he was willing to admit, was satisfied that you hadn’t left the ship— or rather, the artifact hadn’t left the ship. 

He glanced down at it as he marched through the cavernous corridors with lights bright enough to force his eyes into an exhausted squint. He hoped his shabby appearance would ward off any conversation with the crew and what crewmembers weren’t warded off by his torn uniform and scathed forehead were eventually sent away by the large scowl over his lips. 

Jim groaned inwardly as he spotted the two men in blue shirts headed in his direction, one wielding a tricorder and the other wielding a haircut he hoped would be abolished on New Vulcan. He turned a corner and sighed as the two followed, flanking him on either side.

“Captain, did you manage to broker a treaty with the Teenaxi?” Spock asked on Jim’s right. The half-Vulcan’s tone suggested he already knew the answer.

Jim cleared his throat silently. “Uh,” he stretched as he limped on his uneven footing and tried not to focus on the mechanical whirring to his left, “let’s just say I came up short.”

He held up his boot. “Will you log that and put it in the vault, Spock?” Upon noticing that it was his shoe, Jim sighed. He tossed Spock the Abronath as he’d originally intended. “Thank you.” 

Leonard took that brief silence and Spock’s exit down a connecting corridor as his opportunity to speak. “Jim, you look like crap.” 

“Thank you, Bones.” 

“You got that little vein poppin’ out of your temple again. You okay?” Though his tone suggested a lighthearted joke, Leonard really wanted to know. 

As he’d bore witness to his friend’s experiences over the previous three years in space, he knew what the recent two years and three months had done. He knew how taxing they were on Jim and he knew how taxing they must have been on you— he didn’t dare tell Jim that, though. 

In Jim’s eyes, Leonard was solely on his side while Leonard still held your friendship as close to him as he could. He knew how happy you’d made Jim, he knew how you made space look exciting to the Captain again, and he knew how much he, himself, valued you. 

You two continued to share contact in the routine transmissions and holocalls, sharing the details of your week with one another while he tipped a glass of bourbon to you and you tipped a bottle of water at him. You never divulged the gory details of your heart’s condition to him but he could see your features change whenever he mentioned Jim.

Just yesterday, he told you liked your shorter hair and you scowled. 

When he mentioned that Jim was finally taking the Abronath to Teenax with the intention of never seeing it again, he saw you shift a little. He knew you, and Jim for that matter, had attached part of your identity to the artifact and saw its departure as your official departure from the ship for good. He almost laughed when he realized that final departure came two years after you physically left.

“Never better!” Jim answered with that dry edge to his voice. “Just another day in the fleet.”  

Leonard let a corner of his lips quirk up sarcastically. “You sure about that, kid? You’ve looked better.” 

They rounded the hall and Jim shook his head. “How many times are you going to tell me how bad I look? I don’t think I’ll be able to look into a mirror for a year now.” 

“You say that like you haven’t been avoidin’ every reflective surface you come across.” 

“You think I get hair like this without looking in a mirror?” 

Leonard looked at the messy blonde hair that shot up on one side and was fluffed on the other. “Hair like that? Yes.” 

Jim sighed once more and Leonard almost asked if he was being paid to do that. Instead, the doctor continued to follow Jim through the halls. “Bummed we’ve still got that atrocity on board?” 

“Spock? No, I’ve warmed up to him.” 

Leonard snorted. “You know what I’m talking about.” 

Jim’s smooth steps faltered for a moment— a moment he thought Leonard wouldn’t catch. He thought wrong. “Do I?” 

“Jim, —” 

“It’s been two years, Bones. I’ve— I’ve moved on.” 

Leonard stopped and watched his friend walk on, calling out, “Decide which one of us you’re tryin’ to convince, then come find me.”

part 2

tagged: @outside-the-government @daughterofthebrowncoats @multifandom-slytherin@buckyy3s @cinema212 @caaptain @dani-fae @wonders-of-the-enterprise@imaginesofdreams @the-witching-hours12-3 @kaitymccoy123 @anyakinamidala @vevsee 

I’M TAKING TAGS FOR THIS STORY SO LET ME KNOW WITH AN ASK MESSAGE IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN FUTURE PARTS!

[ashroadtrek-blog]

This Side of Paradise

Air Date: February 23, 1967

Story: D.C. Fontana and Nathan Butler

Teleplay: D.C. Fontana

Director: Ralph Senesky

TL:DR; the Enterprise gets high on spores, Spock gets laid, Bones seeks to create a mint julep, and Kirk is exasperated. 

There’s a colony out there - Omicron Beta III - where the colonists settled despite warned of the dangers of Bertold radiation. The Enterprise goes to it, and discovers the luddite colonists still miraculously alive but unwilling to leave. Stranger still, there is absolutely no animal life on the planet. 

A long time ago, the spores arrived from space and settled on the planet; they grew into flowers that spray spores into humanoids and make them happy as a clam in its ideal environment. 

So what’s the catch? The colonists have been there three years, yet they are fine. I suspect the spores have a long, decades probably, lifecycle that ends with flowers growing parasitically out of dopey, ultimately brain-dead colonists...or maybe they can be surgically removed, I don’t know. I think if this were a TNG episode that would be the focus, but it’s not - it’s the original series, and the issue at hand is Spock getting high af on spores and totally dropping his Vulcan facade.

Spock has seen dragons on Barengarius VII. There is little wonder he sees them in the clouds of Omicron Ceti III - is it named ‘Puff’?

Among the miraculously surviving colonists is one Leila Kalomi, a woman Spock knew six years prior on Earth; though she saw through it, she never was able to crack through Spock’s Vulcan rigidity. She seizes on her chance to do so with the spores, and Spock has a marvelous time on the planet. I think this would have made for a great Nurse Chapel episode instead, but Leila serves her function well enough.

What is Leila’s function though? She is the mechanism which gets the plot rolling, she brings out a side of Spock we haven’t seen yet - oh sure, we got shades of it in The Naked Time, but it was a struggle that Spock was able to fight there; here, Spock embraces emotion and is overwhelmed by one in particular: love. 

Spock and Leila fell in love on Earth, but he was unable to reciprocate. Logic prohibited it - I imagine love seemed to Spock a chemical reaction to spur the biological imperative to propagate life by producing offspring, and not something a Vulcan should have any interest in. Poor, repressed Spock. 

They say love is the death of duty, and the flowers manage to find their way on the Enterprise itself to convince everyone to abandon their duty - including Leslie, who has his first speaking role in this episode.

Sandoval, the leader of the colony, refuses to evacuate as per Kirk’s orders from Starfleet and tries to convince him they’ve settled on the best fucking planet in the galaxy; perfect, temperate weather year round, miracle soil, naturally occurring antidepressants with zero side effects...but the lack of animal life down to the insect level creeps me out. 

Bones is a card in this episode - when Kirk tries to reign Spock in and is met with a refusal, he says Bones always said he’d like him more if he mellowed out a bit. I got that Bones doesn’t dislike Spock, despite his consistent and mild racism; he’s just sick of his low-key Sheldon Cooper habit of championing a philosophy grounded in logic over an expression of emotional intuition. 

After he’s blasted, Bones embarks on the most important mission of his life:

My favorite film was Star Trek III: The Search for the Mint Julep

When Kirk, Bones, and co. find Spock he basically says “I’m gonna fix you up!” and it reminds me of Mad Men 6x07: The Crash, where Jim Cutler has Dr. Feelgood stop by the office and shoot everyone up with speed.

It fixed jack shit

Only here it’s nice and friendly for 60s television: space-flowers hit the crew with a money shot so rich it should have been censored

Insert joke about flower jizz and Sulu here

Note that Spock is wearing colonist clothing - a clear indication that he has gone fully native.

Kirk remains frustratingly unaffected until the end, when a lone flower on a desperately lonely bridge sprays him. 

Kirk despairs. He is alone, and he wonders - what can he offer against paradise? it is therefore ironic that when he does get blasted he figures out the solution; he has a moment of crisis packing up his favorite shirts when he holds a particular medal and remembers his duty. Kirk loves his ship, and in his case love and duty are irrevocably intertwined. 

Kirk has figured out how to get Spock back - by making him emotionally compromised in a scene so good J.J. Abrams had no choice but to rip it off in his monumentally aboriginal Star Trek reboot. 

Meanwhile, McCoy attempts to get Leila to guess why they call him ‘Bones’

It works - Spock beats the crap out of Kirk so savagely he almost breaks that metal rod and dents the protein resequencer screen. Turns out violent thoughts counteract the spores effect, and if love is the death of duty, then violence is the death of love, and the death of love is the...life of duty? I don’t know, but the point is that Spock is fixed for real and he and Kirk blast some Beastie Boys on the planet to crunk up the people back to reason.

Just when he finally got his mint julep!

Once more, Bones shows off how much of a hardass he is when Sandoval, irritated by Kirk and Spock’s righteous noise, comes to start shit with him and Bones asks him if he knows how fast he can put Sandoval in a hospital. 

In the end, the colonists are taken to Starbase 27 and the spores will just have to wait for some Klingons or something to check out the planet so they can infect them. Can you imagine a bunch of happy Klingons palling around in the meadows? It’s a lovely image. 

For the first time in his life, Spock was happy...and it is a small tragedy that it took space-weed to make him feel like that, to drop his guard. A great line from Voyager: “beneath your unfeeling exterior is a heart that's breaking, silently, and in more pain than any of us can possibly understand, because that's what it is to be Vulcan! “

That is Spock...for now. In time we’ll see him reconcile his human and Vulcan sides and become more than the sum of his parts. For now? It is duty, not love, that drives him.

Rating: 4/5, Rewatch

This was a pretty damn good episode; yet another exploration of Spock’s character with a healthy side dish of Kirk’s struggle to remain in control, dutiful to the end. 

[goingknowherewastaken]

A Million Years || Part Five

Title: A Million Years || Part 5

Fandom: Star Trek x Wonder Woman

Relationships: WonderTrev, McKirk,

Warnings: swearing, guys i just really want to give Steve a hug right now

A/N: Well, it looks like I’m on a once-a-week update schedule for this! Which is great, but this is also the last chapter that I had pre-written. I have a few more planned for this, but I’m going to need to write those. Hopefully I can get the next one written by next Sunday :) *crosses fingers*

So we’ll see how that goes

The title comes from the song A Million Years by Charlene Kaye.

Enjoy! ♥

Summary: Steve was her North Star. Still guiding her hundreds of years after…

This is apart of a series! Here are the previous parts: Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || 

A Million Years || Part 5

“I – no – that's not -”

“Possible?” Jim cut him off. As expected, Captain Trevor was hardly accepting of his current situation after they explained where he was – and when, for that matter – but he was handling it better than expected.

“It's not common, but it isn't impossible. Certainly isn't the first time that a lightning storm was somehow involved, either; although, those times involved traveling back, not forward.”

Trevor merely nodded and licked his lips, taking in the various medical equipment once more. A moment later something seemed to click in the man's mind, his eyes flickering briefly with an emotion and his chest began to heave a little faster than it had previously. The increased beeping of the heart monitor didn't help the matter either and Trevor turned frantic.

“Hey, easy,” Bones darted forward and rested a hand on Trevor's shoulder. “It's just the heart monitor; it keeps track of a patient's heart rate.” He glanced over his shoulder and sent Jim a look he could decipher by the time their first semester at the Academy had ended.

Unfortunately, the only distraction he could think of would either help the situation or make it worse - hopefully it would be the former.

“Can you tell us more about yourself? We know you’re from the early 1900's, but that's it.” He pulled over a nearby chair and took a seat. Behind him, he heard Spock move forward to stand just a step from his shoulder. “Anything you can tell us would help. You don't have to go deep right away, just give us the basics.”

Trevor nodded and took in a deep breath. “Uh, my name is Steven Rockwell Trevor. I was born in 1882 on the 26th of August in New York City. My parents were Mary and Joseph Trevor; they both passed on before I was twenty.” He blinked a few times, his breaths starting to even out some. “I, uh, I worked at the docks for most of my life. Lot's of men did. When there was talk of a new military program involving planes I was one of the first to sign up. Just felt right, you know? Then the war broke out overseas and I was sent over to fight.”

“For which side?”

“What?” Trevor's head shot up and he blinked at Spock.

“For which side were you sent over to aid?”

“What type of question is that?! I fought with the Allies! I was assigned British Intelligence for crying out loud!” His horror at Spock's question eased some of the worry Jim had, but he still had plenty of questions.

“Sorry, Captain,” Jim cut in, “but you showed up in what we identified as a German officer's uniform – naturally it made us curious. From what we were aware, America joined the Allies against the Germans, but – since we're discussing a time before the Eugenics War – we weren't sure how accurate our information was.”

Trevor simmered down at Jim's words, but his confusion and distress still held. “Eugenics war? You mean there was another war?”

“Indeed,” Spock replied. “Since the end of World War I, there were in fact -”

“- A lot of wars,” Jim interjected. The miffed Vulcan sent him a look, but Jim gave him an apologetic smile. “But those are for another time. I take it your mission involved the uniform?”

“Yeah, I was infiltrating the German ranks. We got word that they had a scientist, a Dr. Maru, who was creating a deadly gas – one that would kill the boys left and right if it was released. They called her Dr. Poison. I got in and was able to steal her notebook before -” he blinked and cleared his throat, shifting on the bed. “Before escaping. Several days later it became apparent that having the notebook didn't matter; she was still able to create the gas. I, uh,” he swallowed and Jim got the impression they were touching on a potentially sensitive topic. “I – my team and I – we got into one of their bases. Found a plane they loaded down with the stuff and I just...” Trevor trailed off.

Jim tipped his head in understanding. “You stole the plane.”

Trevor gave a brief nod. “Flew it straight up. Pulled out a gun and -” he drew in a breath as the realization fully washed over him.

“Jim?” The sleep addled voice emerged from the body laying next to him. “Please don't tell me that in order to make you sleep I have to sedate you.”

Jim huffed, shifting minutely on his back and rubbing at his eyes. “I'm fine, Bones.” He felt the bed shift as his boyfriend turned over to face him.

“Bullshit, kid,” he paused with a yawn. “You're mind hasn't stopped racing since you saw the guy's face...I know mine hasn't.”

“Lights twenty percent,” Jim ordered, turning his head to the side. With the slight increase in light he could make out the furrowed brows that he already knew would be gracing the Georgian's face. “It's weird isn't it? He looks just like me, but -”

“He isn't you,” Bones finished, reaching out to drape his arm across Jim's waist. “Believe me, Jim, I noticed the similarities – Hell, everyone noticed, but right now it's hard to tell just how different the two of you are; what with how jarring this is on the mind. Seems to have a hell of a lot more decorum than you, though.”

Jim raised a brow at the jab and flipped onto his side to better face his partner. “Bones, are you planning on dumping me for the newer model?”

The comment earned him a huff from the older man. “Kid, you're too far under my skin for that to happen.” He shuffled closer so their bodies were barely touching. “Besides, I don't think he'll be interested in pursuing anyone for some time. Adjusting to a time jump of nearly 350 years is gonna take a while.”

The 'If we can't send him back' wasn't said, but it was implied. It was just another thought that Jim had been worrying about.

“What is it? What's eatin' you?”

Jim glanced up, releasing his lower lip from where he'd been unconsciously biting it. “I don't think we should bother trying to send him back.”

“Jim -”

“No, Bones! We can't send him back! If we do he'll die!”

Bones sighed. “We don't know that, but he can't stay here.” Even though he said the words, Jim could tell Bones didn't have his heart behind them. Shifting to close the distance between them, Jim leaned his forehead against Bones' own.

Trevor's recount of the last thing he remembered opened up old memories they'd shoved aside and locked up – ones of madmen, sealed chambers, and a body bag that instilled nightmares for months. After Trevor had finished talking, Bones had made a joke about him being a 'Self-sacrificing idiot too', but Jim caught the tremor that ran through his hands before he'd occupied them with his tricorder. He'd ended the questioning soon after that moment, under the guise of letting their guest recover for a while, but the second he could he'd drug Bones back to their shared quarters.

Well, his quarters, but the amount of Bones' stuff that was there told another story.

They didn't talk about what had just transpired in Medbay, they didn't have to – just changed out of their uniforms and curled up on the bed, holding each other until sleep came.

“Bones...”

“Jim...”

Chirp!

And just like that, the moment was broken as Bones' comm chirped from his nightstand. He was up within seconds, flipping open the device. “McCoy.”

“Len, it's Trevor.”

Jim sat up and shared a look with Bones at the concern lacing his head nurse's voice. Why she was still even on duty, he didn't know, but Bones was already out the door before he could pose a question.

I love you.

“Diana!” The strangled cry ripped it's way from Steve's throat as he lurched upwards on the bed. He doubled over, gripping his head as he tears finally came, several hours late.

God! He was wrong. He was so so wrong.

They weren't enough.

They were never going to be enough.

Steve dropped onto his side, curling up and clawing at the tangled sheets as he wheezed and keened. He vaguely felt a hand place itself on his shoulder, but he was too distressed to react.

He didn't know what to think when he'd first opened his eyes. The minutes following only made the situation even more surreal as a man identical to himself had him spilling his life story like a rookie spy.

2264.55

He was on a spaceship. In the middle of space. In the year 2264.

So long.

“Chris – Chris, what's going on?” A familiar masculine voice cut through his noises.

The hand made gentle circles on his shoulder. “He was having a nightmare. It woke him up and – Len, I think it's all caught up to him.”

“Well, why did you call me?”

The hand disappeared from his shoulder and he shuddered through a deep breath.

“I wasn't sure if it was something serious!” There was a pause. “Besides, maybe he'll be more comfortable with another guy than me right now.”

Steve didn't now what else was said, but when the tears finally subsided some time later and he cracked his eyes open, he was met with the sight of a slightly disheveled McCoy sitting in the chair next to his hospital bed. The guy looked exhausted, dressed in a tight black shirt and loose, soft-looking, gray pants, yet he kept his eyes on Steve where he laid.

He sniffed, rubbing at his wet cheeks. “Do you often talk about your patients in front of them like that?” His voice came out on the hoarser side.

The doctor merely tilted his head at the comment before reaching over to grab and toss a pack of thin white tissues at him. “Here. They're disposable.”

Taking the hint, Steve slowly uncurled and sat up, pulling out one sheet to dab at his face. Apparently these were the future's handkerchief. “Thanks.”

McCoy leaned forward in his chair so he could rest his forearms on his thighs. “Don't mention it.”

Steve tried to ignore how awkward the moment became, just him sniffling and cleaning up his face and McCoy silently watching him, the only other noises being the chirps and beeps of the various medical equipment and the low rumble of the ships engines. Looking around, it was so different than the hospitals of his time – all blindingly bright and absolutely spotless. Before he'd fallen asleep – and after they'd stuck him with roughly a dozen needles hyposprays – they'd moved him from the private room to the main area. In the hours that had passed only two new patients had joined him in the row of beds, with one more ducking behind a curtain just two away from him. After watching the handful of nurses mill about the room, the doctor drew his attention back to him, asking, “Do you wanna talk about her?”

He swallowed and glanced down to pick at the blanket. McCoy didn't have to say her name. The dream – the memory, was still fresh in his mind. After they'd confirmed where and when he was – not that it'd taken too much to convince him – Steve had rambled out what he could as he tried to process the reality of everything.

But he didn't tell them everything.

What do people do when there isn't a war.

No. Some things just weren't meant to be shared with others.

“I lost everyone I ever cared about – my friends, my family,” Steve deflected, looking up finally to with hazel eyes that shown with...something. “What else is there to talk about?”

Besides, talking about her meant thinking about her.

He wasn't sure he really wanted to think about her too soon.

“I think it was a little more than just 'caring' for one of them.” Pity. They shown with pity. “Kid, I know a broken heart when I see one.”

Ah..that made sense.

“Her name was Jocelyn,” he continued, “She was the first person to steal my heart and the first to rip it in two. At the time, I despised her for it, but now...” McCoy trailed off, huffing. “Talking about it helped – granted it took a while to open up about it, but it helped. Helped me see that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here.” He smiled then and – oh, Steve's heart ached.

He knew that smile.

The smile of someone in love.

His throat constricted and he tried to swallow again. “Diana...you can't replace someone like Diana.” No. He started shaking his head. “No, it's just – you can't.”

“Trevor -”

“No!” He ground out, fists clenching in the sheet. “No.”

“Sorry.” McCoy held up his hands. “Sorry. I know that this whole thing is difficult – I lost the person I love once as well – they came back, but it is - was difficult confronting what happened. It just takes time.”

I wish we had more time.

Steve sucked in a breath. “Please, I – please don't.”

“...Okay,” McCoy relented and a bit of the tension left Steve. “I won't pressure you, but please keep that in mind. Okay?” Once he saw that Steve acknowledged his words, he stood and peered over the various screens before saying, “As an apology for picking at the wound, I'm gonna take my leave so try to get some rest? Your vitals seem fine and we only need to do a few more vaccines before we let you go.” He turned then to face Steve. “And that will all happen before your meeting with Jim tomorrow.” He paused, waiting for Steve to respond, and when he didn't, he said, “Right, if you need anything just press that button on the side of the bed and it will alert one of the nurses on duty.”

Steve dipped his head in acknowledgment and watched as McCoy bid him goodnight and walked way. Once he was out of sight, Steven flopped back onto the bed and threw an arm over his eyes.

The Doc was right – he knew the Doc was right, but to think about the life that was taken from him...

The life with Diana that he could have had...

That was too much right now.

He'd process the others before he opened that box.

...to be continued

Part Six

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Fic Masterlist

[whatsgoingg-on]

Meaningless Nothings

Pairings: Jim Kirk x Reader

Warnings: mentions of sex, innuendos

Word Count: 1865

—

The smell of the bar overpowered your senses as you walked into the familiar dive. It was only a block away from campus, and you were out celebrating having just graduated from Starfleet Academy. They next day you were supposed to ship out on the USS Enterprise, as the ship and its crew were on shore leave.

“(Y/N)!” Your friend and roommate, Karsa, called to you from her spot in a booth.

“Hey, guys.” You greeted your swarm of friends that sat at the table, all clutching a drink in their hands. “Ready to party?”

And you did party. By twenty-two hundred all your friends had gone home, but you insisted on staying.

In an almost drunken haze, you sat yourself down at the bar, ordering your second, no, third Budweiser Classic that night. You usually didn’t drink this much, or at all really, but your friends had convinced you to let loose just this once.

“How many of those have you had?” A voice behind you caused you to jump. Twisting quickly to the side, you almost slam into a man. You took in his appearance.

Dark blonde hair styled to the side, although it looked as if he had run his hands through it several times. Pink lips that curved upwards in a gentle grin. Leather jacket that you couldn’t help but imagine what it would look like on your bedroom floor. Oh, don’t forget the eyes. They were more blue than the medical uniform you wore. You couldn’t deny it, you were definitely attracted to this mystery man.

“Enough to know that I shouldn’t have anymore.” You grinned, taking a sip of your beverage. The man smiled wider, leaning on arm on the bar.

“My name’s Jim Kirk.”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).” You smiled. Jim smiled back you, leaning closer towards your seated frame.

“Pretty name.” He breathed. His face was inches from yours, and when he spoke you could feel his minty breath mixing with yours. Your heart beat faster at the sudden closeness, but you didn’t try and pull away.

“You have two names, Jim and Kirk.” You blurted suddenly. Mentally groaning, you admitted to yourself you didn’t know how to flirt. Luckily, Jim found the humor and tilted his head back with laughter. You admired him yet again. The corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled widely, and his eyes became even more vibrant. He was absolutely gorgeous.

“Actually, I have three.” He smiled, placing a hand on your knee. The warmth his hand provided had an effect on you even through your jeans. You quirked a brow at him, urging him to continue. “James Tiberius Kirk, at your service.” He mock a salute, causing a laugh to ripple through you.

“Well, James Tiberius Kirk, glad to have you at my service.” You teased, running a finger over the back of his hand and up his arm.

—

You woke up to the sound of an alarm clock. You attempted to sit up to turn it off, but an arm slung around your torso held you in place. Your naked torso.

You were completely naked.

A quick scan around the room proved your theory that you were in someone else’s apartment. Glancing at the clock with worry, a sigh of relief escaped your lips as you realized you still had three hours until you had to report to the shuttle bay. You had a piercing headache, but pushed it to the side as it was the least of your worries.

You laid back down on the bed and pulled the sheets over your chest. Turning slightly, you caught a glimpse of dark blonde hair. Suddenly, the events of last night came back to you.

“Jim.” You whispered harshly, struggling to get him awake. If you had any hope of getting out of his grip, you had to wake him up. “Jim.” You tried again. Still, he refused to stir. Rolling your eyes, you brought your hand up and flicked his face. Out of instinct, Jim pulled you closer by the arm he still had secured around your waist as he startled awake.

“What’s going on?” He groaned, bringing his free hand up to his face to rub the spot you had just attacked.

“I have to leave, but your arm is, well, not letting me.” You rambled, blushing lightly as you got a peak of his exposed abdomen.

“Are you sure you have to leave?” He grinned, and you blushed again. The look in his eyes, however sleep laden they were, made you want to stay. No. You had to leave. The next chapter of your life was about to begin and you couldn’t be late because of some drunken hookup.

No matter how tingly that hookup’s vibrant blue eyes made you feel.

“I’m starting a new job today, James Tiberius Kirk.” You sat up, still holding the blanket over your chest. Drunk you was a lot more confident than sober you.

“At least let me make you breakfast.” Jim offered, sitting up quickly. From the look on his face and his rushed tone, you could tell he was being sincere when he said he didn’t want you to leave.

“You always make breakfast for your one night stands?” You mocked with a grin, making sure to put emphasis on what you titled the little fling. It wasn’t like you didn’t like Jim, you had a genuine interest in him. But you were shipping out soon to start a five year mission in space. You were about to leave and couldn’t start a relationship just to have it end in an hour. You couldn’t do that to him, or anyone for that matter.

You knew you were making the right decision, but seeing his smile falter momentarily had ripped your heart out.

Soon enough, his grin was back on his face, acting as if he didn’t hear your declaration that this was a one time thing.

“Only for the ones named (Y/N).” He drawled. Making his way to his dresser, he quickly pulled on a pair of underwear. You had already gotten dressed again, and it was a miracle that you were able to find all your clothes. They had been thrown around the room last night during hasty undressing. You blushed as you remembered the feeling of his calloused hands making their way up under your shirt.

“I really have to go, but it was nice meeting you.” You offered pathetically, pretending not to see the deflated look in his crystalline blue eyes that you had grown to adore.

“Hope we can do it again sometime.” He quipped halfheartedly. You threw him a fleeting smile over your shoulder as you stepped out his apartment door.

Now all you had to do was make the walk of shame back to your dorm.

—

“Nurse (Y/L/N)!” A deep southern accent belonging to Chief Medical Officer Leonard McCoy, your superior, called.

“Yes, Dr. McCoy?” You glanced up from the PADD in your hands. You had been on the USS Enterprise for less than six hours and already were drowning in the amount of grunt work you had to do. Currently, you had been busying yourself by checking supplies.

“The Captain’s in examination room three. I can’t deal with him now.” He groaned, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. You had to stifle a smile. You had heard stories that the CMO and Captain were good friends. “He’s got a minor injury, so if you could just patch him up and get him out of my hair, I’ll let you take lunch early.”

“Got it.” You grinned, taking the file out of Leonard’s hands and walking towards the room.

Your nerves began to work in overdrive. It was your first day and you already had to work with the Captain. The freaking Captain!

As you walked into the examination room, your nose was buried into the file.

“(Y/N)?” The oh-so familiar voice called. You froze, standing with your back to him. Slowly, you turned on your heel. Oh god, it was him. Your eyes went wide as you took in the disheveled dark blonde hair.

You had boned your Captain last night.

“Captain.” You greet formally, throwing in a curt nod just to make things more awkward.

“Oh come on,” he grinned. “it’s Jim.” You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. If he didn’t feel awkward about what had happen then why should you?

“Jim, we’ve been in flight for less than a day and you’re already hurt.” You tried to hold a formal tone, but exasperation leaked into your words. He gave you an innocent grin, and you mockingly rolled your eyes. “What’d you do?”

“I hit my head.” He mumbled out. Clearly, he was embarrassed. Quirking a brow, you wordlessly asked for more information. “Okay, so I was in the dining hall, minding my own business and talking with Lieutenant Uhura when suddenly I was attacked.”

“Attacked?” You asked in disbelief. No one in their right mind would attack the Captain in his own ship. “What do you mean, attacked?” Jim sighed heavily, and you knew the story was about to get better.

“Well, it might have just been Commander Spock suddenly appearing behind me and talking—”

“Which scared you so much you tripped, fell, and hit your head on a table?” You finished, guessing where the story was going. When he nodded, it took all the professionalism in you to stop you from laughing.

“Spock said I should go to medical and see if I got a concussion.” He said glumly. You nodded, picking up the tricorder and scanning him. When you finished, you sighed and placed all the tools back where you found them.

“Well, all I found was a bruised ego from being bested by a bench, but other than that you’re fine.” You teased, turning back around to log your findings into the PADD.

Your heard Jim move, and suddenly felt his presence right behind you.

“You know, I think you owe me for running out like that this morning, and not even telling me you worked on my ship.” He whispered into your ear. You blushed, turning to face him.

“Sorry about that, but in my defense I didn’t know you were in Starfleet.” You shrugged, hyperaware of the practically nonexistent gap between the two of you.

“I think you should tell me more about you.” He grinned, taking a half step back. “Over lunch.” You smiled widely, glad your luck had worked and things weren’t awkward between you and him. That meaningless hookup had even scored you a date with the Captain.

“Alright, fine.” He took your hand in his, and led you out of the examine room.

“Hey, Bones!” He shouted with a giddy smile. You blushed, hoping your superior wouldn’t get upset at the fact you were fraternizing with a crew mate while on duty. Leonard took a quick glance between the two of you, noticing your entwined hands before letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Do you have to get all sweet on my nurses?”

[benikoumori]

The Fate of the Phoenix 46

  Once he thought he heard Omne say: “The Vortex forces are inimical to intelligent life, creating disorientation, distortion, and progressively more primitive behavior. Animals which live in the caves are mutant forms, large and belligerent. Our hours here are numbered.”   It seemed to Kirk that he heard Spock name a number. But that must have been a dream.   And once he did hear Spock and Omne softly talking: “You understand, of course, that you are the last man in the galaxy who should have created another self?”   Omne chuckled. “I knew that. But the temptation of your perspective was too great, Mr. Spock. I am the last man not to try the last challenge. Including the challenge of setting a trap for myself. However, I suspect that I underestimated both myself and my Other. He is your Other, too. And that, or the destruct, or both, may have made a difference in him which I cannot define. If so, I will pay for the mistake with my life. It is the going rate.”   “Yes,” Spock said. “It is. The Phoenix would not work for you here?”   “No. We are on equal footing here, Spock. Do you wish to take up where we left off on the Black Hole planet?”   “Not until I have dealt with your Other—and mine.”   “I don’t believe I thanked you for your honor, or my life.”   “Nor I you.”   “I did not do it for you, Spock.”   “Nor I for you.”   Kirk slipped down into dream, and now the dream was of a game in which the master player played his opponent to an impossible losing position, then reversed the board and played from his opponent’s hopeless position—and won, demonstrating the ease of doing it   Kirk looked up from the dream game board, where he was one of the pieces, to see the face of the master player, and it was Spock’s face.   But the eyes were Omne’s.   Kirk awakened and the eyes from the dream looked down into his. But this time the eyes were in Omne’s own face.   Omne was shaking him awake. “Time to go,” the giant said.   Omne led them off through the tunnels. The uncanny light of the vortex played tricks on the mind, shaping monsters at the edge of vision, then turning them to stone. A cave-bear was a stalagmite. Then a lizard-cat leaped from around a turn and revealed itself as a crouching rock outcrop. At first it was merely a trick of the light, then a trick of the mind.   Kirk fought to see through the illusion, to find that angle of sight which would turn the hulking danger to harmless rock.   He saw that none of their party were free of the illusions—not even Spock or Omne. How many times had the Vulcan’s ability to penetrate illusion saved the day? Omne would have that Vulcan power now, too. But it was not sufficient.   Still, Kirk saw that it was Omne who saw through the false appearance first, even before the Vulcan.   They all followed Omne more and more closely. Spock and the Commander formed a rear-guard. The illusions became more spectacular.   “What makes the effect work?” Kirk asked.   Omne did not look back when he answered. “The Vortex is, among other things, a swirl in those psychic fields which are related to the ‘emanations’ which the Phoenix records. That was one of my clues in inventing the mind-recorder of the Phoenix process. The Vortex affects the brain, or the mind, directly. I have seen it do this. The illusions the Vortex creates will get worse as we penetrate nearer to the center, and spend more time in the caves. Also, our judgment will get worse. And one or another of the monstrosities we see will be real.”   They turned a corner and there was some large animal, gray and shapeless like a rock. A giant sloth, was the image which came to Kirk’s mind. More than twenty feet tall, shambling, with great digging-claws which could disembowel. There were fossils of such giant sloths on Earth.   Kirk blinked, trying to see through the illusion to the innocent column of stone—   The monster shambled forward.   It shambled suddenly with awful and unmistakable speed, swinging the disemboweling claws.   This time Omne moved with the knife from his belt.   It was shocking to see the giant look puny, dwarfed by a gigantism which was not even of the same order of magnitude.   Kirk saw that Omne had no chance. The thing was bigger than a tyrannosaurus, and faster.   Kirk ran forward along the opposite wall, yelling, drawing the sloth’s pig-eyed attention. The sloth’s great arms swung down toward him and Kirk jumped without looking, without time to look. A claw ripped his shirt and raked across his chest. He found himself landing on a narrow ledge with a shaky hold on a slender stalagmite, and he clung there over space.   But he saw that he had given Omne a chance to strike home with the knife.   It had found a major vein in the animal’s body and the creature’s life blood was pouring out as the Medusa venom Omne had put on the knife poured in.   The animal was dead. But it would be some time before it would know it.   The sloth’s arm had caught Omne up and was lifting him toward the ratlike teeth.   Kirk yelled, but it was James now who jumped in from the other side with a banshee whoop.   The sloth looked down dimly and raked out at James with the paw which still held Omne. James jumped on the paw, trying to dislodge its hold on Omne, but succeeded only in being lifted up himself twenty feet toward the mouth.   “Jump!” Omne ordered, but James was at work with the small ceremonial knife which belonged on -the Prince’s jeweled belt.   Spock and the Commander had closed up the distance, but they were weaponless. With one accord they jumped for nerve centers in the animal’s spine.   Then Kirk yelled, drawing the sloth’s attention, and it shambled toward the edge of the chasm which separated it from the ledge where he clung.   It reached for him. But the edge of the chasm began to crumble under the sloth. It was feeling its death now, and falling.   “Jump!” Omne snapped again. He flung the Commander off her hold and hack from the edge, and tried to reach to fling James off.   At that moment the ledge split and a chunk of it plummeted down, taking James, the animal, and Omne.   Kirk watched it happen as if every instant were recorded separately.   The animal and James slid down a steep breakaway slope in a mass of rubble. Omne somehow wrenched himself out of the animal’s paw and caught a small ledge by one hand. He hung there, clinging by a rock outcrop, half-conscious from a mauling which would have crushed anyone else.   And at the same moment Kirk felt his own ledge, undermined by the rock-fall, breaking away.   Spock reached out toward Kirk, but the crumbled edge opposite him was twenty-odd feet away now. Kirk couldn’t have cleared it with a running jump, much less a standing one.   He looked down at a straight drop and felt the ledge shearing off.   Then Omne shouted, “Jump to me!”   Kirk looked down and across at the giant’s one-handed hold. “I’d pull you off with me.”   Kirk saw crackling fury in the giant’s eyes. “I said jump!”   Kirk felt the ledge go, and in the last instant he felt himself jump, not with conscious decision, but with instinctive trust.   At the last reach of Kirk’s jump, Omne’s hand caught his wrist   Kirk thought that the force of his momentum must snap Omne’s single hold on the rock above. But the giant was steel. He held on. And slowly he began to draw Kirk up.   Then the rock snapped.   It was death— They were sliding on Omne’s back down the near-vertical slope. Kirk suddenly realized that the slope was not quite vertical, and was growing slightly less steep.   At some point Omne was able to dig in his heels and work toward the edge.   Then they hit something and Kirk went out—not certain whether it was unconsciousness or death.   The Commander and Spock looked over the edge until they could see nothing.   Then Spock stood up and began to uncoil the safety ropes they had carried wrapped around them.   It was not a descent they could make. It was near-vertical, over the worst kind of crumbling rubble, with no equipment but inadequate, half-poisonous ropes.   But it was not a descent they could not make. Presently they went over the edge, with the Commander testing the rubble and Spock anchoring.   They said nothing.   She climbed steadily downward.   Once when Spock joined her on a ledge, he steadied her against him.   At the bottom they found the animal. That was all.   Was it conceivable beyond all hope that something besides the inevitable had happened?   Spock looked at her and she knew that they could not reject the hope.   They started a foot-by-foot search in a logical pattern around the body of the animal.   There was no sign of James, Jim, Omne.   Spock was making his way across the pile of tailings from the slide.   “I saw Omne trying to work out of the slide to the right,” Spock said. “It did not seem possible. However—”   The Vulcan stopped suddenly and bent to inspect something.   Something in the rigidity of his shoulders suddenly struck the Commander and she scrambled across the rubble to join him.   She looked down into a patch of soft dust and saw the print of a regulation Star Fleet boot—the shape of the toe, the heel, unmistakable.   Then she looked more closely and knew that the print was longer, narrower than Jim Kirk’s. Spock turned to her. “We are standing in my footprints.”   She nodded. “And you have not been there.”   They both turned to follow the trail, and in the next patch of clear dust they saw the same footprint and beside it another. She did not have to look twice.   “It. is the soft-boot I had made for James,” she said.   Spock turned to her. “James is alive, and he is with me.”   She nodded. “At least—we must assume that he thinks so. How long will James believe it?”   Spock’s jaw set. “Until the Other wishes to reveal himself.”   彼はオムネの声を聞いたように思った。 ”Vortex の力は知的生命体に方向感覚の喪失を引き起こし心を惑わせ次第に原始的な振る舞いをさせるようになる。 洞穴に住む動物は突然変異体だ、大きく好戦的な。 私たちではひとたまりもない ”   スポックがその名を言った様に彼は思った。 だがそれは夢であったにちがいなかった。   そして彼はスポックとオムネの小さな話し声を聞いた。 ”貴様は勿論理解しているだろう、銀河最後の男である貴様がもうひとりの自分を造り出したのだぞ? ”   オムネがくすくすと笑った。 ”わかっている。 だが君の前にある誘惑も絶大だ、Mr.スポック。 私は最後の挑戦をしない最後の男だ。 私自身へ罠を仕掛ける挑戦含めてな。 だがしかし、私は自分ともうひとりの自分の事を良くわかっている。 彼はもうひとりの君でもある。 しかも自爆か共倒れか、彼がその違いをどうしているのか私には定義できん。 もしそうなら私は生命をもって支払いをすることになる。 時価でだ ”   ”そう ” スポックが言った。 ”それだ。 ここでは貴様にPhoenix は機能しないのか? ”   ”しないな。 此処では私たちは同等だ、スポック。 Black Hole planet の続きを此処でやるか? ”   ”私がもうひとりの貴様を -- そして私を扱うまでは無しだ ”   ”君の名誉、または私の命に感謝などせんよ ”   ”私もだ ”   ”私は君の為に行動をすることはないぞ、スポック ”   ”私もそうだ ”   カークは夢へと滑り落ちた、今度の夢はゲームをしている夢だった、彼の敵対者であるゲームマスターが重要なポジションを失ったボードを逆転させその敵対者の絶望的なポジションからプレイさせ -- 勝つ、容易いのだと見せつけて。   カークは彼のいちぶであるゲームボードから眼をあげゲームマスターの顔を見た、それはスポックの顔だった。   だがその眼はオムネのものだった。   目覚めたカークを夢の眼が見下ろしていた。 だがこの時の眼はオムネ自身の顔にあった。   オムネが彼を揺すっていた。 ”時間だ ” 巨人が言った。   オムネが彼らをトンネルの奥へと導いた。   不可思議な明かりの渦が心を惑わせ視界の隅にモンスターを創り出し彼らを石に振り向かせた。 洞窟熊は石筍だった。 飛びかかってきた蜥蜴猫が岩であったり。 初めは単なる光の加減であったものを頭が錯覚してしまうのだ。   カークは視界の端に見える幻想と戦った、大きく不格好な危険は無害な岩なのだと。   彼は彼らのパーティの誰一人として幻想から解放されてはいない事に気づいた -- スポックやオムネですらもだ。 何度バルカンの能力によって幻想と看破され救われた? オムネもまた今はバルカンの力を持っているのだ。 だがそれは充分ではなかった。   カークはオムネがバルカンよりも前に誤った姿を見た事に気づいた。 スポックと指揮官が後衛をつとめた。 幻想はより劇的なもの���なっていった。   ”これが何に影響する? ” カークが聞いた。   視線も寄越さずオムネは答えた。 ”Vortex のとりわけ渦を巻くサイキックフィールドはPhoenix record の ’ 放射 ’ と関係する。 Phoenix processes のマインドレコードの発明の手がかりのひとつとなったものだ。 Vortex は脳に、もしくは精神に直接影響を及ぼす。 私はこれを見たことがある。 Vortex の引き起こす幻想は中央に近づくにつれ、洞窟内で多くの時間を過ごすにつれ更に悪くなる。 そしてまた私たちの判断力も悪くなっていく。 ひとつ以上の奇形を私たちは本物と見てしまうだろう ”   角を曲がった所に岩の様な不格好な灰色の巨大な動物がいた。 巨大なナマケモノ、それがカークの心に浮かんだイメージだった。 高さ20フィート（6.096メートル）、よろめくような足取りで内蔵を掻き出せる掘り爪があった。 地球のナマケモノに似た化石。   カークは瞬きそれが純粋な石であり幻想なのだとはっきりさせようとした --   その怪物がよろよろと進み出てきた。   よろよろとした歩みが突然紛うことのないスピードを持ち掻き爪を振りながら。   この時にはもうオムネはベルトからナイフを抜き、移動していた。   その凄まじい巨大なドワーフを巨大だと感じずただの岩だと見ていた事は衝撃的だった。   カークはオムネに勝ち目はないのではないかと見た。 それはティラノザウルスよりも巨大で素早かったからだ。   カークは逆の壁に沿って走り飢えた眼をしたナマケモノの注意を叫んで引き付けた。 ナマケモノの巨大な腕がカークへと振り下ろされた、彼はそれを見る時間も見る事もなくジャンプした。 爪は彼のシャツを裂き胸を引っ掻いた。 彼は着陸地点として見つけた狭い岩棚にある崩れそうな石筍の狭いスペースにしがみついた。   彼はオムネが急所にナイフを刺すチャンスを与える事が出来た事に気づいた。   オムネが塗ったメデューサの毒液を塗ったナイフが動物の身体にある大静脈を見つけ生命の血を溢れさせた。   動物は死んだ。 だがその事を自覚するまでには時間があった。   ナマケモノの腕がオムネを捕らえ彼をネズミの様な歯へと持ち上げた。 カークが叫んだ、だがその時のバンシーの叫びは別サイドへと飛んだジェームズのものだった。 ぼんやりと見下ろしたナマケモノの足がオムネを捕らえたままジェームズへと振られた。 その足に飛び乗ったジェームズがオムネを解放しようとしたが彼もまた20フィート上にある口へとつり上げられてしまった。 ”飛べ! ” オムネが命じたがジェームズは皇子用のきらびやかなベルトにあった儀式用ナイフをふるった。 スポックと指揮官は距離を詰めたが彼らは武器をもってはいなかった。 彼らは一斉に動物の脊椎にある神経中枢へと飛び付いた。 その時、叫ぶカークに注意を引かれたナマケモノが彼がしがみつく岩棚にある深い溝の端へとよろめき歩んだ。 それが彼へと手を伸ばした。 だがナマケモノの下で溝の端が崩れ始めた。 そして死を感じたそれが落ちていった。 ”飛べ! ” 再度オムネが鋭く行った。 彼は飛び退いた指揮官の元へ飛ぼうとした、彼女もまた飛び移ろうとするジェームズへと手を伸ばそうとした。 その瞬間、岩棚が割れジェームズと動物とオムネをが塊となって急落した。 カークにはまるで全ての瞬間がコマ送りで起きている様に見えた。 動物とジェームズが瓦礫と共に険しい勾配を滑り落ちた。 オムネが何とか動物の足の拘束から抜け出し小さな岩棚を片手で掴んだ。 彼は少しでも手荒に扱うと崩れてしまいそうな突出部にしがみついた。 同じ瞬間、カーク自身の岩棚が徐々に蝕まれ始めるのを感じた。 スポックがカークへと手を伸ばしたがそこには20フィートという距離があった。 カークには助走をつけるスペースが無く、ランニングジャンプは出来なかった。 視線を下ろした彼は岩棚が割れる感覚、そして真っ直ぐ落ちる感覚を受けた。 オムネが叫んだ、”私の方へ飛べ! ” カークは片手でぶら下がっている巨人の方を見た。 ”私が引き上げる ” 巨人の眼にある激怒をカークは見た。 ”飛べと言ったぞ! ” 岩棚が割れるのをカークが感じた最後の瞬間、彼は意思による決定ではなく本能的な信頼で飛んでいた。 ジャンプしたカークの手首をすんでの所でオムネが掴んだ。 カークは自分の負荷でオムネの手が折れるのではと考えた。 だが巨人は鋼だった。 彼は持ちこたえた。 そしてゆっくりとカークを引き上げ始めた。 その時岩が鳴った。 死 --殆ど垂直なスロープをオムネが滑った。 カークは突然理解した、まだ完全には垂直ではなく僅かに険しさが減っていることに。 オムネが踵を使いじりじりと端へと渡っていく。 その時彼らに何かがぶつかりカークは意識を失った -- 人事不省なのか死なのかははっきりとしなかった。 指揮官とスポックは何も見えなくなるまで端から見下ろしていた。 そしてスポックが立ち上がり彼らが運んでいたセイフティ.ロープをほどき始めた。 降下は出来そうになかった。 弱いとはいえ毒性のあるロープで充分な機材もない、状態の悪い場所でほぼ垂直なのだ。 だが彼らに降下できないという訳ではなかった。 間もなく指揮官は砕石を、スポックはアンカーのテストをした。 彼らは何も言わなかった。 彼女が着実に下り始めた。 スポックが彼女の居る岩棚に加わり体制を整えた。 彼らが底に見つけたのは動物だけだった。 それが全てだった。 全く絶望的な、避けようのないことが起きてしまったのか? スポックが彼女を見た、彼女は悟った望みを拒否することはできないと。 彼らは一歩一歩論理的パターンを描き動物の身体の回りを探査していった。 そこにはジェームズの物も、ジムも、オムネの印もなかった。 スポックは滑り落ちた部分に範囲を広げた。 ”私はオムネがスライドの右に向かおうとしていたのを見た ” スポックが言った。 ”可能ではないように見えたが。 だが -- ” 突然立ち止まったバルカンが何かを調べるように身を屈めた。 彼の肩の突然の強ばりに指揮官は急ぎ荒石をかきわけ彼に加わった。 ソフトダストの一角を見下ろした彼女はそこに記されたStarfleet 規定のブーツ -- その踵と爪先の形は間違えようがなかった。 さらに見つめていた彼女は気づいた、それがジム.カークのものよりも長く細い事に。 スポックが彼女を見た。 ”私たちは私の足跡の元に立っている ” 彼女は頷いた。 ”そして貴方は此処にはいなかった ” 彼ら二人は更なる痕跡を求め辺りを探し、同じ足跡の横にもうひとつの鮮明な跡を発見した。 彼女は二度見る必要はなかった。 ”あれは私がジェームズに誂えたソフトブーツだ ” 彼女が言った。 スポックが彼女を見た。 ”ジェームズは生きている、そして彼は私と共にいる ” 彼女は頷いた。 ”少なくとも -- 私たちは彼がそう思っていると仮定すべきだ。 ジェームズはどれだけ長くそれを信じていられる? ” スポックの顎が引かれた。 ”もうひとりの彼がそれを露にすることを望むまで ”  

[kaitymccoy123]

That Consume You

AKA: A Million Tiny Pieces p.t. 2

Get it?  A Million Tiny Pieces That Consume You?  I tried to make it a sentence. 

Intro: Okie dokie so this was kinda requested by @newhappiness430.  You didn’t formally request it but you commented on my other piece asking for a part 2 and I just had to oblige. 

Pairing: Spock x Reader (really loving writing Spock)

Word Count: 2070

Triggers: none, Vulcan kiss, a little sadness but some fluff as well

Summary: So this is a continuation of A Million Tiny Pieces (click to read).  It is basically just another one-shot with the same kinda relationship between Spock and reader and a few connections between the stories.  So this is set just after Spock finds out Spock Prime dies (so I guess set in the Beyond timeline) and he freaks out, but the reader is there to comfort him. 

ALSO PLEASE SEND IN DRABBLE REQUESTS HERE IS THE LINK: RAINBOW READING WEEK DRABBLES

ALSO: I snuck in two kinda-references:

1. Hamilton: Meet Me Inside - “Call me son one more time.” I put: “If you call me lieutenant one more time...”

2. Bones (the TV show): Bones: “What do you need Booth? Some time, some space?” Booth: “Just some time.”

-Enjoy!-

You followed Spock into his room, pausing just inside the door as you regarded the clearly distraught Vulcan. 

"Spock, what happened back there?" You inquired, stepping into the room and walked over to Spock who stood very rigidly on the opposite side of the couch. 

"I was simply explaining my opinion on the matter to the officials." Spock responded, not meeting your eyes from across the room. 

"Spock, you were basically screaming at them.  Jim had to kick you o..." 

"I am aware of what the situation entailed, Lieutenant." He interrupted. 

You felt a tinge of anger flash through your veins when he called you by your rank rather than your name, but you decided not to mention it, as he was clearly upset.  

Spock and Captain Kirk were meeting with a few Starfleet officials and you had just been passing by when you had heard Spock yelling at the officials.  You had paused by the door and you watched Kirk grab Spock by the shoulder to hold him back, motioning him to the door and telling him to leave.  Spock had stormed out with an intense look on his face and anger in his eyes and you froze in fear as he rushed past you, nearly knocking you over.  You had followed him back to his room to figure out what was wrong.   

Now he regarded you with an expression that you couldn't read.  You had thought you had gotten pretty good at reading Spock, even though he was Vulcan, but you didn't understand what he was feeling now. 

"What's wrong?" You asked. 

"Nothing of your concern." Spock assured and you scrunched your face up in an expression of disbelief. 

"Bullshit." You challenged and his eyes flicked to yours for a second before focusing back on the corner of the couch. 

You felt your blood boil at his nonchalance, so you flopped dramatically onto the couch, directly in the place where he was staring. He blinked a few times, as if just noticing you were there, and finally fixed his gaze on yours. 

"Spock, you really scared me back there, I thought you were going to hurt someone." Your voice got quiet. "I thought you were going to hurt me."

His head tilted slightly to the side and he suddenly looked hurt. 

"I had no intention to injure anyone, especially you, Lieutenant."

"Don't call me Lieutenant." You admonished but gave him a small smile at his concern for your well-being. 

You reached up and rested your hand on his forearm, but he pulled back in a swift movement, tucking his hands behind his back.  It felt like he stabbed you in the heart. 

"Spock, talk to me." You leaned back into the couch, tucking your feet underneath you. 

"I am talking to you." He responded. 

You rolled your eyes.  Every once and a while his human sass would show it's head.  You fell into a tense silence and you watched as he had an internal battle with himself.  

"There's something wrong.  You can tell me, Spock." You insisted and reached for his arm again, but met open air as he stayed where he was. 

"Lieutenant my problems are not of your concern." 

You furrowed your brows and pursed your lips, trying to figure out how to get through to him.

"Spock, are we in a relationship?" 

His eyes flicked to yours curiously, "According to the definition of the human vernacular, yes." 

"Then your problems are my concern." You professed. 

He was silent for a minute, before he resigned himself and came to sit beside you on the couch. You reached your hand over and rested it on his forearm, relief flooding through you as he finally allowed you to touch him. You moved your thumb slowly over the fabric of his shirt, stroking soft lines into his arm.  

Suddenly you had an idea. 

"Lie down." 

Spock turned his head to look at you questioningly. 

"Lie down." You repeated, "When we were upset as kids, my mom would take us aside and make us lie down so our head was on her lap.  Then she'd stroke our hair and make us talk about what was making us upset."  You smiled softly at him, "It worked every time."

When he didn't move you shifted your hand from his arm and rested it on his cheek, now stroking soft lines into the skin right under his eye.  His eyes closed involuntarily and his breath stuttered at your touch.  

"Lie down, Spock." You instructed again and pulled your hand away, his eyes opening instantly at the loss of contact. 

Finally he obliged.  He shifted so his feet were at the far end of the couch, hanging over it, and his head was nestled on your thighs, his hair brushing the bare skin that wasn't covered by your uniform dress.  He looked up to you, his face still an unreadable mask of emotions, and his hands were folded gently in his lap.  

You began to run your fingers through his hair, your fingertips parting through the perfectly cut black strands.  You watched as he began to unfold beneath you.  His face softened at your soothing touch, and his eyes drifted closed.  You absently wondered when he had slept last.  

After a few minutes of your fingers running through his hair, his eyes re-opened, and he met your eyes, taking in a shaky breath. 

"I have just been informed that Spock Prime, myself in the future, has passed away." Spock's voice held a tone of sadness thatt you had never heard before. 

The news shook you to the core.  That was never something anyone wanted to hear.  That their loved one had passed.  Well, this was your future loved one, but still. 

"Is that why you had that outburst today?" You inquired. 

"I believe it is." 

You looked down at Spock, who had shut his eyes again and his brow was furrowed, his lips pressed into a tight line.  You moved your fingers to the space between his eyebrows and stroked the skin there softly to smooth out the wrinkles. 

"I am so sorry, Spock." You apologized and bit back tears. 

"It is not your fault, there is no reason for you to apologize." Spock corrected but his eyes remained closed. 

"No, It's just something humans say.  Like we apologize that you are feeling upset.  I am sad that you are sad." You explained as best you could. 

"Vulcan's do not express emotions, Lieutentant..." Spock started but you interrupted.

"If you call me lieutenant one more time I am going to rip the bangs off your forehead." You let out a sad laugh before leaning forward and pressing your forehead to Spock's, finally letting the tears fall from your eyes. 

You let yourself cry then, but almost smiled when his hand came up to your shoulder, a steadying presence.  You stayed frozen in that position, your forehead pressed to his, just feeling his breath tickle your wet cheeks as tears streamed down your face and onto his. You tried desperately to tell yourself that he was not dead.  That this Spock, your Spock, was still here, still alive.  

"Y/N?" Spock breathed.

You hummed in response, taking in shaky breaths in an attempt to regain control. 

"You feel sadness for me, correct?" He asked, his eyes opening and meeting yours, which were less than an inch apart. 

You nodded and pulled back, sitting up again, and letting out a few sniffles. 

"Why do you choose to feel pain for me?"

The question left you speechless, despite knowing the answer better than you knew your own heartbeat. 

"I assumed you would have known." You stuttered, your voice much shakier than you meant it to be. 

He looked up at you questioningly now, his face suddenly so vulnerable that you wanted to burst into tears again. 

"I have developed feelings of affection for you." You smirked through your sadness. 

"You are quoting my own words back to me in an attempt to be amusing." Spock commented with a grunt of appreciation. 

You smiled softly down at him, your fingers running absently through his hair, but your lip quivered and a single tear streaked down your cheek. 

"Why are you still sad?" Spock inquired softly, his fingers reaching up and catching the tear before it dropped off your chin. 

"You died today, Spock.  Doesn't that scare you?" You bit your lip hard as you looked down at him, trying to stop the flow of tears. 

"Everyone dies Y/N.  Therefore fear of death is illogical."  He explained robotically, and it made your heart hurt, you didn't know why this was affecting you so much, but for some reason you couldn't meet his eyes.

"But I have learned from my recent escapades with Dr.McCoy that fear of death is what keeps us alive." Spock confided, but he sounded confused and you brought your eyes back to his face, "what does that mean?"

You regarded him for a moment before answering. 

"It means that we are kept alive, we are driven to do things, because of the imminence that is our deaths." You quoted something your father had said once, before he passed.

You recognized the look in Spock's eye as admiration and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly as he said, "Fascinating."

That word alone sent shivers down your spine and you rewarded him with a warm smile, but he still look conflicted. 

"Spock, what do you need? Some time?  Some space?" You pulled your fingers from his hair. 

"If by "space" you imply distance from you, Y/N, then no, that would not help my emotionally compromised state.  Just some time to process the situation and its meaning."

You smiled down at him, your fingers finding his hair, and leaned over again, this time pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.  You made to pull back but were stopped by a hand firmly placed on the back of your neck.  

He brought your face close to his, and you thought he meant to kiss you, but instead he rested his forehead on yours again.  He reached up and grabbed your hand, the one that was not tangled in his hair and pressed his palm against yours.  You stopped breathing.  

You had been hesitant and careful not to grab Spock's hand too much before this, as you knew what it meant to Vulcans to touch hands. But now Spock moved his fingertips to yours, pressing them gently together, as if he was sure and unsure of himself at the same time.  Your eyes squeezed shut involuntarily as the emotion of his action rolled into you.  You gasped as waves of cool electricity flooded your veins and surrounded your heart, crashing into it like a stormy sea and sending shivers surging through your body.  You had never felt anything like it before and you let yourself be consumed in admiration, and fondness, and love.  

You smiled now and pressed tiny kisses to his forehead, cheeks and the corner of his mouth.  His eyes gleamed before they closed and you pressed your lips softly to his eyelids.  After a while your hands drifted apart and you were left with this humming feeling in your chest, a happy hum, something you never wanted to end. You smiled into the comfortable silence that enveloped the both of you. 

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" You whispered after a while, the sound of your voice causing Spock's eyes to flick open. 

"No, I am very comfortable right now and it would be unpleasant to move." 

"Alright." You shifted back in the couch so you were more relaxed.  

You tilted your head back, a smile playing at your lips incessantly, and thought that you could probably fall asleep right then and there when Spock's voice broke you from your stupor. 

"Would you, perhaps, continue the soothing action you were performing before?"

You blushed and looked down at him, thinking of the kiss, and asked tentatively, "Which action?"

"The action of your fingers in my hair, Y/N, of course." He peeked an eye open, "to which action did you think I was referring?"

"Nothing!" you squeaked and let out a laugh which elicited a raised eyebrow from Spock.

You sprawled your fingers back into his hair, tipping your head back again and resting your other hand on his chest, which he softly wrapped in his own.  You peered down at Spock who looked unbelievably calm and relaxed, and you smiled, reveling in the sparks that filled your veins and the wave of happiness that consumed you. 

- Thanks for reading!  Hope you liked it!  Spock is one of my favs to write (still behind Kirk and Bones) so there will be more to come!  Goodnight! - 

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

A Happy Reunion

Request: Request for a angsty fic of reader x Kirk? Do your magic with whatever you want to happen but I'm just in a angsty mood :) @ dani-fae

“I’m just saying there was probably a better way to handle that,” Bones said as he followed Kirk onto the bridge, “Maybe even two or three.”

“Don’t you have a job to do? A job that has to be done elsewhere?” Kirk brushed some of the ash off of his shoulder.

“Captain,” Uhura interrupted, “we’re receiving a transmission from Starfleet Command.”

“On the view screen,” he ordered, walking around to his chair.

Moments later a man with graying hair, deep set frown lines, and an incredibly solemn expression appeared. “Captain Kirk.”

“Admiral Berman,” Kirk greeted, “What can we do for you today?”

“We received an S.O.S. from the U.S.S. Electra. They were under attack by a previously unknown enemy. Last we heard their hull had been torn in half. We have since lost contact.” Kirk gripped the armrests so tightly his knuckles started to turn white as the Admiral’s words rushed over him. “We need you to go after them and rescue whoever you can.”

“Of course, sir.”

“I’ve already sent their last known coordinates. Good luck.”

Kirk nodded and got the feeling that a ‘thank you’ slipped from his lips before the screen went dark but he couldn’t be sure. It was like his mind was fighting to be full of every possible thought he could have and completely empty at the same time. He stared at the stars without seeing a single one of them. It wasn’t until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he remembered that he wasn’t alone.

“Jim,” Bones sounded like he wasn’t certain Kirk was in there.

“(Y/N)’s on Electra, aren’t they?” Uhura asked quietly. Kirk hadn’t noticed that she had come over.

He looked at his hands for a second, before looking back to her and answering, “Yes. Yes, they are.” Clearing his throat, he got to his feet. “Warp 6, Mr. Sulu. I need to go make sure the transporter is prepared.” He glanced down at his ripped, soot stained uniform. “And maybe change my shirt. Spock you have the helm.”

“If there’s anything I can do,” Uhura started, following Kirk to the turbolift.

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

Bones didn’t let the doors of the lift close without him inside. Silence filled the air as the decks pasted them by.

“Just because they lost contact doesn’t mean that they’re-”

“Oh, look, it’s your stop,” Kirk announced as the doors slid opened.

“Jim,” he sighed.

“I don’t really have time for emotional support right now. Maybe later.”

There was a moment of hesitation, before he took a breath through his nose. “I’ll be in the medbay if you need me.”

Kirk grumbled his appreciation as he watched his friend walk out into the hall.

Nothing took a blow to morale quite like reminding everyone how easy it was to lose everything out here. Not to mention it was practically impossible that Kirk was the only with a loved one in a shipwrecked crew.

What was he supposed to tell those people when he didn’t even know if anyone was still alive? Right now he didn’t even know what to tell himself. Except to focus on the mission, separate himself from this. It was just a crew like any other. He had avoid dwelling on you for even a second. He knew if he did he would fall apart and be completely useless.

Taking a deep breath, Kirk stepped off the lift and started down the corridor. It didn’t take him long to for him to find Scotty once he got into the engine room. He was standing at the main console barking orders in the nicest tone he could.

“Captain,” he smiled, “What did we do to be honored with your presence?”

“I need to talk about the transporter.”

“I ran a systems check yesterday. It’s all up to snuff.” He dropped his hands from the controls. “What miracle are you planning on havin’ me perform today?”

“No miracle.” He rested his hands on the edge of the console. “Just need you to beam as many people off the Electra as fast as possible.”

“The Electra? Sir, that crew is near as big as ours. You’ll be packin’ us in like sardines puttin’ us all on one ship.”

“That might not be a problem.” Kirk glanced away and lowered his voice. “It’s not likely all of them are alive.”

Scotty gave him and understanding look and nodded.

The stars passed quickly by outside Kirk’s ready room window. Yet he still felt like they were standing still. He desperately tried to focus on reports to keep his mind off of you. If you were alright. If you were scared or hurt or even alive. But his brain was in a dream-like state and he was getting nowhere.

“How you holding up?” Bones asked as he dropped into a chair across from Kirk.

“Just peachy,” he mumbled, grateful for an excuse not to look at his computer anymore.

“Have you heard anything?”

Kirk leaned back in his chair and sighed, “Not really. Occasionally we’ll pick up static or a few scattered words, but nothing useful.”

“Jim,” Bones paused, choosing his next words carefully, “(Y/N)’s like you, resilient and damn near impossible to kill. I’m sure they’re fine.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry. Are you being optimistic?”

“This is why I avoid giving moral support.”

“Keptain,” Chekov’s voice sounded over intercom, “Ve are coming up on ze ship.”

“Alright. I’ll be right out.”

Kirk sat there for a second longer, suddenly unsure that he wanted the answers he had been craving all day. His best friend watched him with eyes that always seemed to see right through him.

He swallowed, “I should get out there.”

“You should,” he said, “Unless you want me to be Captain.”

“Definitely don’t want that.” Kirk got up and headed towards the door.

“All for the best,” he shrugged, joining him at the door, “I should probably get back to the sickbay.”

As he settled into the captain’s chair, Kirk set his features and tried to manage his expectations.

When the ship came into view, he started calling out orders, “Sulu, full stop. Uhura, keep working getting in contact with them.” He pressed down on the com. “Scotty, be ready.”

“Aye, Captain.”

It became increasingly harder not to fidget. Realistically they were probably only sitting there for a few minutes but it felt like so much longer.

“Something’s coming through.” Uhura turned to look at him. “Sir, I really think you need to hear this.”

After a curt nod and a few seconds your voice crackled over the sound system, coming in and out, “This… Acting… -tain… (L/N) requesting....Can anyone hear me?”

Kirk squeezed his eye shut the second your voice reached his ears. You sounded so broken that it almost physically pained him.

“(Y/N)? It’s Jim! Are you ok?” He tried to keep his voice calm and level, but was failing miserably.

“I’m fine, but… need help.”

“We’re gonna get you guys out of there,” he promised.

“Thank you… Please, hurry… don’t have much time… the engines....”