#once i do i'll post all of those fuckers as well

[tanetime]

I decided to give Wyneer a ““quick”” skin as a “““fun””” thing to do, since a problem with how his masks work made him unable to wear wardrobe clothes and made telling players apart difficult during playtesting.

That problem has since been fixed by some people on klei forums who are smarter than I am, but I decided to finish the skin anyhoo.

Now, if you have ever looked at Wyneer and thought “hmm, he needs to look even more pathetic I think”, he has just the thing for discerning types like you.

[untitledmemes]

Hazbin Hotel Prompts

Part I An assortment of prompts taken from the series Hazbin Hotel on Amazon Prime. Adjust as necessary to fit pronoun and/or descriptor. In case of Multimuse, don't forget to specify which one/s. Reblog, please do not repost or add.

“ Oh, shit. Did you hear all of that? ”

“ I enjoy your theatrics. ”

“ I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work. ”

“ Well hello there, you wayward sinner. Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? ”

“ Your last attempt at salvation starts here. ”

“ Thank you so much for making this. Seriously. Amazing. ”

“ Oh, fun. You had a little fun with it? ”

“ Sex sells, don't it? ”

“ I really don't want to exploit you in that way. ”

“ This body was made to be exploited. ”

“ I could keep goin' all night, baby. ”

“ Why do you think I'm here? ”

“ I like being forced. ”

“ I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid. ”

“ That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it? ”

“ Just because nobody made it out before, doesn't mean it's not possible. ”

“ There's just no way I could blow it, not this once in a lifetime chance. ”

“ It's a happy day in hell. ”

“ Ha! I fucking got you!. ”

“ So, I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet. ”

“ I need you to be less horny, if possible. ”

“ I ain't no actor! I can't memorize this shit! ”

“ So, anyway, we fucked and it was awesome. ”

“ Fucking love putting my name on shit. Shit's the best. ”

“ Alright, um, maybe we can try and fix it in post. ”

“ Seems like you're having a bit of trouble there, hm? ”

“ I wouldn't try that, my dear. ”

“ I don't care who or what you are. If you're staying here, you are going to make this work. ”

“ Awesome job, danger tits. Pound it. ”

“ Those are my people. You know that, right? ”

“ They had their chance and they earned damnation. ”

“ How does that feel? To know how little you matter. ”

“ Let me stop you right there, save us all precious time. ”

“ Did I hear you imply they don't deserve death? ”

“ It means we're all royally fucked. ”

“ We should just go down there now and destroy them. ”

“ Oh please, you had less than half a chance when you started all this. ”

“ Well, it's not like people are going to show up at our doorstep. ”

“ Now that's good television. ”

“ Whatever could be the problem, my dear? ”

“ Fuck my life. ”

“ I have a fire to put out upstairs. ”

“ Well, looks like you have everything under control here. ”

“ Take care of the piss baby. ”

“ That fucking slut walked out on me. ME. I fucking made him! ”

“ Which of these makes me look sexier? ”

“ What are you doing? You're not going over there. ”

“ Now that's why they pay you the big bucks. ”

“ I think he's had enough. ”

“ Thank you... For letting your guard down! ”

“ Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. ”

“ That fucker is back! ”

“ You still pissed he almost beat you that time? ”

“ Things changed a lot since he left town. ”

“ Welcome home. I'm gonna make you wish that you stayed gone. ”

“ Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? ”

“ Where's he been? Who gives a shit? ”

“ You old timey prick, I'll show you suffering. ”

“ I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone. ”

“ How exactly are we supposed to stop it? ”

“ Who would want to use their last days not fucking and fighting? ”

“ I didn't come looking for a fight. ”

“ Aren't you supposed to protect this place? ”

“ I give you a week. Tops. ”

“ It's nice to have someone interested for once. ”

“ Never leave me again. ”

“ I definitely remember you now. ”

“ It's great, right? Keep going. ”

“ The only cool thing has is to say no to drugs. ”

“ I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage! ”

“ You like me. You really like me! ”

“ You actually think you can change? ”

“ You slippery little shit! ”

“ I fucking knew there was something shitty about you. ”

“ Get your aggressively average body off of me! ”

“ This little bitch is a traitor! ”

“ Wait, you were caught? It hasn't even been a day! ”

“ The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts, but sorry is where it starts. ”

“ Why are you so lame? ”

“ You'll have to try better than that next time, ol' pal. ”

[changbunnies]

Crave, Part 1 (18+)

♡ Pairing: Romantic Demon!Hyunjin x Human Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: supernatural au, demon au, age gap relationship typical in monster fucker fics, intended to be porn with plot but atm there is more plot than porn lol

♡ Word Count: 3.6k

♡ Summary: "The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain." - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy. In which Hyunjin, a demon from the nine circles of hell, finds himself impossibly infatuated with the very human he once set upon himself to destroy.

♡ Warnings: don’t read if you’ll be uncomfortable over talks about religion from the perspective of a demon!, themes of sexual purity in the context of religion, a lot of immoral behavior and thoughts + ideas from hyunjin, supernatural abilities, themes of possesiveness, the seven deadly sins are brought up multiple times, hyun is thousands of years old so take that as you will lol, hell's structure is based off dante alighieri's depiction of it in the divine comedy but knowledge of it isn't necessary to enjoy this fic!

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): there isn't really any overt smut in this first part it's more like referenced sexual activity, masturbation, voyeurism (hyun is watching reader while they're unaware he is there), porn watching

♡ Notes: after receiving feedback, i'll now be posting my long fics in multiple parts as i finish them like i do on ao3 instead of waiting until it's finished to post here! i'm taking a break from my royal au series to finally write out this fic i've had rattling in my brain since last september but never got around to writing until this past month :') idk how long this will be in the end but i'm planning at least 3 parts! i hope you stick around till the end <3

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

There are many things in this world, the world of humans, that even a monster such as Hyunjin was born to desire. A primal want, weaved into the very fabric of his being, designed to be etched into his soul- if he had one, that is. That is what initially brought him here; the heart of one of the world's most populated cities, his territory an otherwise unoccupied luxury suite in one of the many skyrises that line the bustling streets.

It was an ideal place to be; there wasn't much in the way of furniture, given that it's a new development with no human occupants, but the amenities it held were sleek and pristine. High windows that overlooked the entirety of the city rife with sin from what was nearly the top floor, marble countertops that screamed sophistication and elegance, and well equipped with security of both the physical and digital kind to keep out those who may want to chase the thrill of wandering where they do not belong. Hyunjin, who could simply float about wherever he wished, had no need for human things like beds or sofas.

In this space, he already had everything he needed- an ideal vantage point, isolation from the world until he himself chose to interact with it, and easy access to the myriad of damned soul that walked the streets beneath him. It was perfect, and it was his- until you showed up.

Hyunjin was no stranger to dealing with potential renters overtaking his territory- it was only natural for those with wealth to be ready to spend a fortune on the newest availble luxury apartment that catches their eye. While Hyunjin had never once been seen; he was certainly known; rumors abound of an evil presence in suite 13, that left even non-believers fleeing in terror, leaving as quickly as they came. "Evil" felt a bit extreme of a description from Hyunjin's perspective, but what would humans truly understand of him? 

He always felt as if his actions were completely justified; after all, why should a being with immense power such as him bend to the will of a measely human whose life was akin to a grain of sand in the desert of immortality that was his own lifespan? Regardless of his justifications and thoughts on what is evil and what isn't, he welcomed the fear humans have towards him- it made his life easier if they feared him and stayed far from his domain. 

And yet here you were, seemingly ignorant of the fearful reputation this apartment held (not that he expected that the building's landlord would have informed you of it, of course- their only goal is money, at the end of the day.) Hyunjin didn't care for the rules of humans- whether or not you'd supplied the necessary money to purchase your way here or were deserving of it made no difference to him. It was his until he decided otherwise, and you were trespassing on his territory by being here.

When he'd first arrived back after a long outing back in his home within the second circle of the nine hells, only to see you filling his space with your things, walking about the apartment as if you owned it, blissfully unaware of his presence- it was infuriating. He had half a mind to scare you out right then, forever scar you by showing you his true form, send you running as he'd done to countless before you who tried to be here. But no, that wouldn't be enough. It would be letting you off too easily for his liking; this was different than scaring off someone who might intrude on his home- you already had.

What he wanted was more than his territory back- he wanted to make you suffer the most egregious torment one could ever endure for intruding on it, something far worse and much harsher than whatever a demon below his stature could muster. You deserved worse than that of mild terror, or to be able to flee from his space without repercussions for your transgression. No, he would only take back what was his after he'd turned your mind into a den of paranoia and hysteria. You needed to know true terror, true loss, true suffering, by his hand.

So he settled for observing you- it would be a longer process, one that could easily take months to reach true fruition, but the reward would be well worth his patience. He watched carefully, intently, his presence always concealed but unmistakably there. You would feel it sometimes, unbeknownst to yourself. A sudden chill up your spine, the subtle feeling of being watched making you turn your head, only to be met with nothing unusual in your line of sight. Funny, how humans were so attuned to the supernatural while simultaneously being so oblivious to their reality.

Your routines became committed to his memory, your every step and every action becoming increasingly familiar to him. Boring at times, but necessary if he wanted to learn the ins and outs of what makes you you, taking in every detail and memorizing them fully, so that when the day comes for him to turn your life into a miserable tragedy, forming you into a shell of who you once were, you'd have to beg him for forgiveness, for his mercy.

What were your fears? He'd easily make them reality. What did you hate? He'd make sure you suffered it. What broke your heart? He'd subject you to that pain over and over, until your heart was left shattered into a million, microscopic pieces. And it was only then, when you were mentally destroyed, the lowest you could ever possibly be and unrecognizable in your despair, that he'd appear before you, triumphant as he made you apologize for ever having stepped foot in his domain.

But as he observed you, he came to realize something strange- something he had never once found himself thinking about a human before. You were so... good, the closest to perfection a human could ever possibly be. And not perfect by the bullshit puritan standards set by the "heavenly creator," because you were as touched by sin as any human is, but perfect to him specifically.

Your sins were few and far between, with only one making a substantial impact on your purity; but it was the most important, most delicious sin of them all, the one that made Hyunjin's body seethe with delectable desire. You weren't envious, nor greedy or gluttonous; you lived in a luxurious penthouse suite, that was true, but greed to have the best of everything isn't what brought you here. The pride you felt for your accomplishments didn't go anywhere near sinful levels- you were proud of yourself, but not in such a way that you looked down on others while you sat atop your high horse.

You weren't slothful, brought to your current position by your own hard work and tireless efforts, and you weren't wrathful either, your emotions toward your fellow man always sweet, compassionate, and gracious. That only left one sin- just one that impacted your soul, that barred you from reaching true, godly purity.

Lust.

It wasn't an unhealthy amount of lust by any means, but any at all is enough to damn an unmarried woman's soul if she gives in to the temptation- an unfair ruling that has cost many their rightful place in paradise. And you certainly did give in to your temptation, and that is what made you perfect to him. You had none of the avarice of other humans, none of the undesirable qualities that made them foolish and arrogant and insufferable to deal with, instead held closely by one desire, the most important desire.

Was it a coincidence, he wondered? That he, a demon born of lust himself, found one such human that seemed to adhere perfectly to what he enjoys most? Hyunjin often felt himself above that of the sins his brothers were born to pursue. Violence did not suit him, emotions such as greed, pride, and jealousy often went beyond his comprehension. And not because he was some lowly, ignorant creature who was only capable of thinking with his dick, but because those feelings simply never came to him to begin with.

What was there to be jealous of? If he wanted something, he could have it, he could take it, as simple as that. Was he prideful? Sure, one could say he was, say that he had an ego, but he would argue that there was a clear difference between the arrogance that often comes with pride, and simply having confidence in one's own abilities and joy in their accomplishments.

He knew he could feel other emotions, indulge in other sins, if his brothers' conquests and actions were any tell, but he simply.. didn't. Lust was all he knew, was all that he enjoyed, but at the same time, he wasn't some low level demon who was consumed by lust. No, he could control it quite easily if he wished, was more than capable of waiting for the most ideal moment to finally savor in the addictive dance two bodies can share. (Or more than two bodies, should one prefer that.)

Lust was all he ever knew, but unlike the sex-starved beasts he ruled over and observed in his circle within hell, he was very much in control of himself. Make no mistake, it never went away, he always felt the gnawing craving for more and more and more- but it never addled his mind. That was the perk of being a demon with a higher consciousness than that of say.. an imp. He had complete control of his compulsions and desires. 

It was this control over himself that led to Hyunjin savoring the lust that poured from human souls in only the most ideal conditions. There were many different kinds of lust, each with their own "taste" so to speak, and while Hyunjin found them all enjoyable to at least some degree, there was one in particular that was the most intoxicating to him, one that never failed to light a fire within him, the one that was always, always, worth waiting for.

The lust between two lovers, whose care for eachother was true, and good, and special- such as you would see from couples sleeping together for the first time, full to the brim with nervous excitement. Or maybe from long-time lovers reigniting their spark with a romantic night spent together after a warm, candlelit date. Especially delectable was the sweet consummation after making an eternal promise under God to be together forever, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part. Those are just a few examples of the sort of lust that gave Hyunjin the best, sweetest taste.

The irony of being an immoral entity who gained the most enjoyment out of love and romance wasn't lost on him, but his preferences weren't built on some misconceived notion that he could aspire to feel those things himself. Yes, Hyunjin knew he would never feel the human emotion that was love, but he could understand, at least on a superficial level, why it tasted so sweet, and why humans seemed to fight for that feeling above all else.

Perhaps he existed to be a hypocrite, sowing seeds of chaos and turmoil while valuing true love, contradicting that which humans believed they knew about demons of lust such as himself. After all, was it not the very nature of a demon to confuse, contradict, and twist the human condition? And was it not utterly against his being to indulge in a feeling that was considered sacred by God? It didn't matter either way; if there was one thing that Hyunjin knew for certain, it was that sweet tastes were the best, and it didn't matter where it originated from or how- he just knew he liked it.

And oh, how his proverbial heart jolted when he sensed it on you the first time he saw you touching yourself. It was a surprise when, after a long day of unpacking and arranging furniture, you let your hand travel sinfully between your legs with a heady sigh- and far be it from Hyunjin to deny himself the opportunity to feed on a human's lust when it's practically being delivered to him on a silver platter. You hadn't been touching yourself for long, barely got your panties down your legs when he tasted it- subtle, but familiar enough to Hyunjin that he could recognize it anywhere.

It was hard to explain the sweet taste in human terms- there were really no words that could come close to describing it, as the "flavor" itself didn't exist within human understanding. Suffice it to say, it was something entirely unique to his kind, and something any demon would be able to distinguish with ease should they be in close enough proximity. It was unmistakable- you loved someone. That was information that could serve him well, something that he should be delighted to know he could ruin you with. And yet, for the first time in all his thousands of years, the feeling of lustful love left a bitter taste on his tongue.

You were in love.. And you envisioned that person while your fingers were buried between your legs, as you bit your lip and made your eyes roll to the back of your skull. Who was it? Why did you love them? Were they even deserving of someone as perfect as you? Did they deserve to touch you? To feel you? Hyunjin grit his teeth, fists clenching into tight balls as an unfamiliar feeling began to permeate through the entirety of his being.

Is this.. what envy feels like? A rage beyond comprehension at the thought of someone else having you when it should be him? He should be the one you desired to have touching you, the one you imagined marking your unmarred skin, the one who made you cry out and tremble with even the simplest of touches. Would they even indulge in the sweet taste you radiate like he would? Would they even understand what perfection it is you offer simply by being? His, you should be his, only his, his, his.

The realization hit Hyunjin like cold water over hot skin- he wants you. And not just for one night, not superficially, not with needing to part ways afterwards. He wants you to love him, wants the feeling of love-drenched lust that radiates off you to be because of him, wants you to belong to him and him alone. You don't know him yet, but you will. And he'll make sure you're left wanting him, and only him, by any means necessary. Because it's what he wants, and he always gets what he wants.

Hyunjin wants to say it's simple curiosity that leads him to carefully stealing your phone off your nightstand once you've fallen asleep, or that's acting with the desire to know how to ruin the target of his ire more succinctly, but that simply isn't true. No, he is scrounging through your phone not with the intent to learn your greatest fears and hates, nor does he scour your messages to discover your darkest secrets.

It's a different purpose that has led him here, an unfamiliar ache that drives him to search your phone for something more. In hindsight, going through your phone to learn about you is a simple, easy act he could've, should've, done already, but he's a bit of a traditionalist in that regard. (Or maybe he just doesn't want to admit how much he's liked watching you these past few weeks.)

Who is that you love? And why? It would've been easier for him to find out had you truly let yourself go, allowed yourself to be loud and moan their name to your heart's content, but you hadn't. And maybe that was a good thing, as hearing someone else's name leave your lips in such a moment would've definitely sent him into a dangerous hate spiral, but that also meant he was left with nothing to go on as a clue.

He was much too stunned, and then seething with anger and jealousy, to read your thoughts in the moment, and if he tried to do so now, while you were sleeping, all he would do is catch a glimpse of your dreams- not helpful in the slightest, unless you happen to be dreaming of the object of your desire. (Which you weren't. He already looked.)

Unlocking your phone is easy, as he's seen you put in your password several times over at this point. Unfortunately for him however, (and fortunate for the one undeserving of Hyunjin's wrath,) he finds nothing that makes the object of your affection explicitly obvious. Your texts with friends all use the same tone, you talk about mundane things like what movies are coming out or how you wish you could go on a vacation for a while.

Your photo gallery is relatively small, filled mostly by screenshots of things you wish to remember or keep for a laugh, and the occasional selfie. There's nothing that screams "this is the person i'm in love with!" no matter where in your phone he looks, and if it wasn't for how intensely he felt the emotion radiating from you as your fingers sped up and release built, he'd think he must have imagined it.

What interesting this he does find, however, are the differen't porn links littered through your incognito tabs, all that paint a very vivid picture of what you find most appealing, or in more vulgar terms, what gets your pussy really fucking wet. He skims through your collection of favorites and private bookmarks, and quickly comes to realize they all hold a similar theme- love, romance, and doms who are soft even when being rough with the sub's body or speaking condescending words.

Various videos and audio files, with titles such as "roommate gets railed after confessing her secret feelings," "pov: boy next door accidentally confesses and then fucks you passionately," and "soft dom makes his good girl cum hard: boyfriend asmr." There's even an entire erotic movie, much to Hyunjin's surprise, with a 2 hour run time and dedicated plot in your recent bookmarks.

He decides to watch it, for research purposes of course- what better way to get to know the object of his desire than by watching the porn she consumes for himself? It's rather generic as far as ideas go- childhood best friends confessing their love before going away to college, with sweet, sensual but desperate fucking and a promise they'll be in love no matter the distance put between them. A cliché plot, by human media standards. 

However, he has to give it due props- it's obviously not an amateur production. It's acted well, has better cinematography than one might expect for a film produced by a porn studio, and the dialogue never crosses into cringe, overtly fake territory. Despite it all, something about it feels real, as if he'd taken a genuine glimpse into the lives of two young people in love, rather than a manufactured video meant to make the people who watch it unbearably horny.

Hyunjin continued through your collection after that, eager to see what other gems lied in your favorites, waiting to be watched by him. They're all the same fundamentally speaking, your preferences and biases easily shining through with each video watched and audio listened to. Emotionally charged, romantic confessions, sweet "i love you"s, soft, caring doms who take good care of the submissive one, making them feel desired, beautiful, and secure.

The person you're in love with, the one who lingers in your mind when you watch these videos and your hand travels between your legs- this is what you want them to do. You want them to love you passionately, to make you fall apart in the sweetest of ways, to take care of you so well that your thoughts can linger on nothing but the way they make you feel. You want them to sweetly tell you they love you while they fuck you, to speak filthy words in your ears in a soft, saccharine voice as they make you cum. To fuck you dumb, to ruin you, and then expertly put you back together with a tender touch. 

Carefully, he puts your phone back in its place, looking at you once he's done, still sound asleep in your bed and without a clue in the world that there's a demon standing before you, close enough to touch. You've lived with Hyunjin for weeks now, but you don't know who he is, don't know that he's there, don't know that you have unexpectedly become the reason for a demon's strange and new complex emotions. Isn't it funny? How a demon as powerful as him has become infatuated with you despite you not even knowing he exists.

It's illogical to desire you, truly. Humans are fickle, subject to corruption and irrationality, their lives impossibly short. What one man works his entire life to obtain, Hyunjin can have in mere moments with a fraction of the effort. To a being that has lived thousands of years, the life of a human happens in a mere blink. You grow old, you get sick, you die, your accomplishments fade to nothing, forgotten as the next wave of humans walk the earth in your stead. You're beneath him, he's better than you, and yet..

Why does he still crave you so? Maybe he's no better than the humans he's looked down upon, considering them lesser for their innate hypocrisies and irrational actions- because Hyunjin is about to do just the same. His feelings for you are hypocritical, irrational, foolish, but also the most real thing he's ever felt. And if it's romance you want, that will make you fall head over heels for him, then he'll be the most romantic demon the nine hells have ever known.

[alienpossession]

Body a Day 10: Table

"The fuck? Hyunsoo, is that you?" Fan said while looking at his phone and the device tracker in his phone guided him to this massive guy lounging by the beach

"How the fuck do you know it's me?"

"No fucker, the only question that should be answered is how the fuck you gained 100 pounds in a month? Where have you been? And how could you just ditch me working on the assignment on my own? You know I cannot rely on Josh and Brandon,"

Hyunsoo just chuckled for a while before eventually answered

"I asked you to go with me last month for dinner at that Korean BBQ. You said no,"

"Okay, and?? What's the correlation? You know I cannot eat too much meat,"

"That place is the one that get me this,"

"What do you mean?"

----

They head to Koreatown and when inside the taxi, Hyunsoo explained through text how the Korean BBQ place is actually using outer space material for its grilling table. Everything cooked over that specific grill not only tasted more delicious, it's highly nutritious and can boost its user metabolism and even impacted to one's body development. Fan is not necessarily trusting Hyunsoo's explanation, but it's not like he got any other alternative way to explain the anomaly.

When they stepped inside the place, it's so unassuming and empty from any other customer. The place is quite small as it can only hold like 8 person diner max. It's quite odd for a place in a bustling Koreatown to be so quiet, especially if it got some extraterrestrial table that can bless you with muscle gain beyond your wildest imagination. But once again, Fan tried to believe Hyunsoo and just sat down on the table while Hyunsoo ordered the meat.

"How on Earth you know about this place?"

"Luck, literally. The spot I aimed for was packed like crazy so I decided to wander around before hitting this spot. The quietness called me I guess,"

"So you don't even know about the grill until you eat here?"

"Until I woke up the next day and realized that my pecs blocked my view. That's when I freaked out and called the place frantically, and that's when the ahjussi explained everything,"

Fan tried to not look bewildered and just nodded along the way. The built ahjussi then delivered the orders and simply leave

"So.....just putting the meat here and let it sizzle?"

"Precisely,"

Fan put the seasoned meat and flipped it around a couple times while adding more to the grill, Hyunsoo explained in great details about the growth that hit him

"And afraid of being scrutinized or even subjected to weird tests, I simply dipped. Sorry for not texting you or anything though,"

"Hmmmm.....where's your chopstick? Aren't you hungry? You are not just going to drink, right?"

"No no, please eat. The ahjussi said I can only eat here once, actually. He's afraid I'll swell up more,"

"Wait, all that is only from the first visit?"

"Yes, I haven't told you, huh? Well, hurry up, eat and see for yourself,"

----

Hyunsoo never planned to explain to Fan that it's been the plan all along to drag him down to the spot. It's not like the real Hyunsoo existed any longer, his body has simply been overtaken by the extraterrestrial being that latched itself to the grill after 24 hours post-consumption. The ahjussi himself is actually an exiled extraterrestial former general trying to build his own little empire in a faraway planet, in this case, Earth. After making 8 operatives that will protect him at all cost, equipped with super-human built and strength, the former general believed that it's time for them to expand more aggressively through "bait". Fan is the first out of this "bait", built to become not packed with dense, powerful muscle to protect the general, but those muscle were packed in him to lure human as a promiscuous, 24/7 irresistibly horny man where he will store those human DNA that spurted in him, which will be used as a base to create brand new superhuman that is even stronger than the eight operatives which still currently have certain humane limitation due to their base body being a real human that is converted. For trial, Hyunsoo fucked the shit out of the sleeping-yet-growing Fan, who will wake up in the morning as a brand new man

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Snow Angel

Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.

Word Count: 4.7K

Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, tw: violence/abuse towards minors and unwanted comments from men

—————

I'll make it through the winter if it kills me. I can make it faster if I hurry. I'll angel in the snow until I'm worthy. But if it kills me, I tried

Tension is thick and heavy in the Miller home as Joel steps away from the door his failed attempt to open it with it locked before he hears something being pushed in front of it. He had seen the panic in your eyes, and he knew it wasn’t from the fight you were in. The older man looks over seeing his child and her friend standing where you once stood before you took off. “Joel.” She starts but he’s turning away moving to the kitchen,

“I don’t wanna hear it.” Ellie follows after him Dina trailing behind,

“No fucking listen to me. That wasn’t her fault you hear me!” Ellie points outside defending you and Joel places his hands on the counter.

“She broke a kid’s arm. Almost beat Seth’s kid to death if we didn’t show up. How is that not her fault?!” He yells as Ellie glares at him.

“She was fucking protecting us!” Ellie yells back, “They were harassing Dina, and when I tried stepping in they started messing with me. I didn’t think she’d beat the shit out of them, but she was protecting us.” Ellie explains and Joel looks over at Dina who nods anxiously being in the very tense home. The door slams open and Tommy quickly enters the kitchen.

“This is fucking great! Jesus Christ,” Tommy says gripping his hair as he kicks a chair that slides away from him, “Half the council wants her out, but the other part knows the raiders are gonna find Jackson because of her.” Tommy hisses.

“What the hell was that girl thinking?” Tommy says as Joel shakes his head leaning against the counter.

“Girls said she was protecting them,” Joel says gesturing to the girls who nod frantically.

“Ellie tried protecting me from Derek and the boys but they wouldn’t stop, when they brought up Ellie’s parents, she just jumped in. We didn’t expect it to go that far,” Dina explains as Tommy listens to her story,

“Those fuckers started all of this by bothering Dina.” Ellie spats and Joel gives her a look at her language. Tommy sighs pinching his nose, “I’ll talk to Maria and she’ll talk to the boys to get them to fess up but I gotta talk to the kid, she can’t do this if she wants to stay.” Tommy moves to your room twisting the handle not feeling it budge before knocking on it,

“Kid, it’s Tommy can you let me in?” He calls out only to get silence. “She barricaded herself in there,” Joel comments and his brother lets out a curse knocking his fist to the wall.

“Okay just keep me posted when she comes out, I gotta go let Maria know about all of this. Dina, you better head off as well.” Tommy says and the younger girl nods bidding her goodbyes while Joel leads Tommy to the porch, “Christ Joel I don’t know what the hell to do with that girl. Is she better out there than here safe with people?”

Joel is silent, he thought he and Ellie had a rough transition when they arrived in Jackson. A harsh attitude towards everyone but at least he had Tommy to help adjust then Ellie had gotten those friends. You had no one, you were brought here then kept locked up like an animal for almost a month to be brought out and just assumed to assimilate instantly. He felt a bit of guilt with how he treated you. You were only a kid from what Ellie told him you were only two years older than the girl. He felt torn in two, one was the fearful side of what he knew could do, but the other side he thought had died many years ago but was brought back by the sixteen-year-old girl. The one that wanted to protect and keep you safe, that paternal feeling that he felt towards Ellie but he was confused why he felt it so deeply towards you. So he covered it with anger and ruthlessness with curses and insults thrown your way only for you to return it.

“Tommy, you go figure that stuff out, I’ll keep you updated.” He pats his brother's shoulder and nods heading off his porch and heading back towards the main street. The day moves too quickly as the streetlights begin to turn on with the sunset. Joel turns back inside finding the young girl sitting against your door with a sad look on her face. His heart aches to see his surrogate daughter upset and knows he had a factor in it.

“Come on kid,” He calls out to Ellie as she looks up at him, “Get some rest you had a long day.” Joel watches the girl pull herself to her feet silently moving past him climbing the stairs slowly completely not Ellie-like and this only makes him feel worse. Joel sighs moving to the kitchen his hand grabs the glass and amber liquid before pausing and putting it away and the glass in the sink and moving to make himself a cup of coffee.

You were frozen as you sat in the corner of the dark room, outside was quiet and the house was silent as well. Slowly moving to stand your face aches in pain same with your bloody knuckles. You were only making things worse here, people were only to get hurt because of you. Looking in the boxes you find an old tattered backpack and you start shoving some clothes in the bag. You would worry about food and supplies later. You would head back to the cabin and get stuff then leave. Head north as you planned, go to Canada, and live there away from everyone. Grabbing a shirt and ripening it into strips wrapping them around your knuckles the fabric already soaking the blood using another piece pressing it against your lip hissing in pain from the split skin. You move to the door cringing at the loud noise the dresser produces as it scratches against the wood floors and you pause trying to listen for anything before you open the door and enter the dark hallway. It was dark but you knew all you had to do was walk forward and you’d reach the door and you’d be outside. Your footsteps are silent listening for any movements from anywhere in the house as you pass the opening to the living room.

“What are you doing kid,” A voice calls out making you freeze you look over spotting a shadowy figure and you see an arm move before light fills the room from the small lamp on the table next to him. Joel sat a mug in his hand no longer a glass of amber, was he waiting for you? “Where are you going?” He asks and you tighten your grip on the backpack strap.

“I’m leaving. You’re right I’m a problem here..I’d rather take my chances with the raiders.” You say turning to grab the door handle.

“Stop it, kid.” He stops you once again your hand on the handle, “Listen…shit...I’m... I’m sorry.” He says and your hand falls from the door as you turn to face the man who looks quite anxious under your gaze unlikely the times he looked so intimidating. “You shouldn’t be forced to make these kinds of decisions and I shouldn’t have treated you like an adult when you are a kid.”

“I’m eighteen.” You retort and he gives you a look before continuing, “You were brought here to just be locked up and then forced to act normal around people you just met. You reacted a whole lot better than I would’ve.” He says and you give him a look.

“I broke one guy’s arm and some guy’s face, how is that a whole lot better.” You say and his look darker slightly, “I probably would have killed the guys.” The room grows silent at his confession as he looks over you.

“What I’m trying to say is you weren’t given time to adjust and your actions are justified,” Joel says and you slowly nod, “So if you’re going to leave I won’t stop you, but you won’t be safe out there I can tell you that. But if you decide to stay you’ll be protected here I promise you that.” He brings the mug to his lips taking a sip as silence once more fills the room as you are torn between two places. You were more in your element out there where it was ruthless and chaotic, here it was normal though you never knew of normal, it was like the outbreak never happened here. Families could live and grow, and children wouldn’t be in fear of Fedra or infected attacking anyone. It was protected and that was something you’ve never experienced before. You protected yourself but you’ve never once in your life been protected by others. The rational part of your mind tells you to leave, you knew what you were doing. You survived eighteen years of your life without the help of others but the irrational part is the one that looks at the calm man before you. The older man who urges you to stay and be safe…to be a kid again. That part of your mind that wants that normalcy, to have friends, to not fight every day to survive, to be taken care of due to the lack you received as a child. You stare at the door handle in front of you calling for you to leave but the backpack slides off your shoulder hitting the floor and Joel lets out a small sigh of relief.

“This doesn’t make us friends or whatever…you or your family,” Your voice cold that thick boundary place and he watches the small glimpse of you disappear replaced by the girl from outside the walls. The one that murdered a group of raiders alone and only cared about herself and her survival, “I don’t need any of you.”

He doesn’t get to answer as you turn to head back to your room the door closing behind leaving him alone. Joel thinks of the event that led all of them here. Would things have been different if they left you in that cabin or if Tommy or Jesse never met you? You both would have lived in your separate worlds maybe at one point in time met but it would have been as enemies. Either them putting a bullet in your head or you get them first. The tough-hitting thoughts create a pain in his head and he sighs finishing up the drink before retreating to his room. He pauses at the foot of the stairs looking down the hall to where you rest before he heads upstairs to try and get some sleep.

It was weird sleeping in a bed after weeks of being in that cell with that concrete bed. It was too soft and you sank into the mattress. You did feel much warmer under the thick blankets, unlike the single thin and scratchy blanket in the cell. The sunlight woke you up hitting you directly in the eye, you grimace feeling the dry blood on your face and your hands. Looking around the room and finding the bag you packed last night resting on the dresser you knew you hadn’t brought it back here. You open the pack and grab some clothes before you exit the room. It’s relatively quiet as you enter the bathroom that’s right across from your room glad you didn’t have to go upstairs. It seemed stocked up as you stripped jumping into the shower. It took you a second to figure out the mechanics almost shouting from the sudden cold water that drenched you but it soon became warm and you quickly accepted. You lather your hair in the shampoo and conditioner as you clean the rest of your body, the water once clear runs red with the blood you had to scrub off your body. Once done you dress and find a brush getting all the tangles and knots out of your hair letting it rest naturally wet against your neck. The bathroom seemed stocked with everything you would need some items you’ve never seen before or hadn’t had quite the luxury of having. You never were more grateful for a stick of deodorant enjoying the fresh scent of it plus the soap. Leaving the bathroom happy with the fresh feeling when you hear voices coming from down the hall in the living room.

“So she tried leaving?” You hear Tommy’s voice and the hum of another man. “Thought it would be easy for all of us. Think she’s still sleeping.” Joel’s voice calls out as you slowly creep down the hall looking through the doorway that enters the kitchen giving a clear view of the connecting kitchen and living room. Joel and Tommy sit on the couches in both men's hands a mug and you can see the steam coming off them.

“I’m glad you convinced her to stay,” Tommy says taking a sip of his drink, “You know she kinda reminds me of you. Not sure if that’s a good thing, you are a pain in my ass.” He says and Joel glares at him as Tommy cracks a grin. You don’t listen to more as you hear someone you assume Ellie come bounding down the stairs and you quickly retreat into your room as the conversation with the new edition becomes muffled. It was drawing near the time for breakfast at the mess hall, Ellie getting her shoes on as he made his way to the room at the end of the hall. Knocking before giving it a second before he enters. You sit on the edge of the bed, wrapping strips of fabric around your knuckles.

“We have bandages if you need them,” Joel comments on the homemade wrappings but you shake your head moving to wrap your other fist.

“I don’t need that.” You remark and the adult watches you struggle slightly to wrap it around your non-dominant hand. “Here let me hel-” He moves forward to grab your hand and you pull your hand back with a sharp look.

“I can do it.” You hiss and Joel takes a step back watching you slowly restart but after two failed tries he moves forward ignoring your protest grabbing the wrapping and doing it with ease around your knuckles. Glancing briefly up at you seeing you looking away your other hand digging into your pant leg your foot fidgeting. Finishing with the wrapping spotting a discoloration on your skin on your forearm but you quickly pull down your sleeve past your wrist.

“All done…” Joel says standing back up and you seem to relax the tension in your shoulders when he creates distance, “It’s close to breakfast so start getting ready.”

“You don’t need to make me breakfast,” You murmur fixing your sleeves on both arms, “I can do it myself.”

“Well we ain’t having breakfast here so get your shoes and coat,” Joel says and you stand up hearing this news. You didn’t want to go out there and see all of them. You rather be holed up in here until you could leave this place. “I’m not going.” You cross your arms and Joel throws you a look.

“That isn’t your decision, Tommy and Maria said you have to be there,” Joel says slowly growing frustrated mirroring your pose. They weren’t allowed to make those decisions they didn’t fucking own you. “Well, you can tell Maria and Tommy to fuck off.” You spit and Joel steps forward and you are ready for the screaming match.

“Hey!” “Joel!” The young voice of Ellie pops into the room hanging onto the doorframe looking between the two of you, “Hey! You joining us for breakfast?” Ellie says a look of excitement on her face.

“No.” “Yes.” You and Joel both speak at the same time glares thrown at each other.

“Great! Tommy and Maria are waiting outside.” Ellie takes Joel’s answer before she heads outside leaving the two of you. Joel and you stare at each other waiting for the other to break and it pisses you off seeing the lack of remorse or patience for you. Grabbing your coat and shoes from the end of your bed heading to the door not before slamming your shoulder into Joel’s.

“Little shit..” He whispers under his breath as he heads out to the entranceway spotting you finishing the laces on your boots before throwing the door open and heading outside.

“Finally. Hurry up I’m fucking starving.” Ellie calls out from the steps of the porch and you spot further behind her Maria and Tommy. You stiffen seeing the small child in the woman’s arm looking at you innocently. It made you uncomfortable seeing her hold that child so gently and with a small smile on her face in the presence of that infant. You felt sick.

“Glad to see you kid,” Tommy greets you as you keep staring at his child with wary eyes. He clears his throat getting your attention, “When we get to the mess hall you’re going to have to see Derek and the boys. I want you to apologize to them.”

“I’m not doing shit. They fucking started it! Why the hell should I apologize.” You scoff and the three adults give you a look.

“Look Derek is Seth’s son he runs the mess hall and the Tipsy Bison, just be the bigger person please,” Tommy pleads and you roll your eyes starting the unfortunate trip through the streets of Jackson. You walked between Tommy and Ellie your hands shoved in your pockets a bitter look on your face.

“They should fucking apologize to me for being dickbags.” You sneer, “Hey language.” The three adults say as you reach the main street. Burning eyes of people milling on the streets watching the girl that has been trouble since coming here. You see a group of older women standing together whispering to each other and glancing back at you.

“The fuck you starin' at?” You call out to them and they all give appalled looks as you walk past them Joel sighs and Tommy groans apologizing to the women on your behalf.

“What did I just say…” Tommy says and you glare at him, “You said to apologize to dickwads not the group of hags gossiping.” You spit and the man groans trying to prepare himself for when they reach the mess hall. You barred your teeth at people snarling at kids who looked at you run leaving before scared adults and some crying children.

“Jesus, you got half of Jackson either pissing their pants or running to their mothers,” Ellie comments seeing you death glare at two men who stare at you for too long for your liking.

“Just get to the damn hall,” Joel says sighing already fatigued by the trip here and how much of an impression you were doing for yourself. The hall was slowly filling with people coming for that morning rush. People get out of your way as the six of you enter, the friendly atmosphere dropping as they see you standing in the doorway. Finding a table you shove yourself in a seat far in the corner away from the glaring eyes of people. Ellie sits beside you followed by Joel, Tommy across from you, Maria next to him, and their son sitting in the woman’s lap. Tommy seems to scan the room before spotting what he wanted to find and turns back to you seeing you picking at the wood of the table.

“Stop that. Alright, Derek and the boys are over there I want you to go over and apologize. Keep it sweet and simple, avoid the language, a simple ‘I’m sorry’ and you’re fine.” Tommy points over to the table on the other side of the mess hall as you follow his finger before you spot them. Derek’s face is bruised with bandages on sections of his face, another one of them has their arm in a sling and a large split in their lip, and the other one has a fat bruise across his cheek. They looked like they got their ass handed to them, while you walked away with a cut on your temple, a split lip, and bruised knuckles.

“They looked fucked up,” You comment a small curl of your lip happy with the damage you did. They fucking deserved it for what they did. “Hey!” Tommy snaps his fingers drawing your attention back.

“Go over and apologize. We’ll grab food afterward. Just be yourself.” He says and you give him and look, “Actually be the opposite of yourself.” You scowl at him as he waits for you to move and you groan standing as your chair scrapes back shoving your hands in your pocket.

“Ellie make sure she doesn’t just insult them,” Joel says and the young girl nods standing joining you and you look at Tommy. Did you have to do this? The impatient look has you tilting your head back with a groan before you trudge your way across the room. You could feel the people’s gaze tracing after you their conversations growing quiet when you passed by them. Reaching the table you see the injured boys notice your presence as their conversation grows quiet as you stand before them Ellie a few feet away. Your attention was less focused on the others but mainly on Derek as he was apparently the guy who runs this place’s son.

“I…” Your hands curl up into fists as the words feel like lead in your mouth as you force them out, “I wanted to…apologize for my actions…it…it was wrong to hurt you.” You grit the words and you see the pleasure on Derek’s face knowing you were forced to say those words. Derek leans forward a smirk on his face, “And..” You feel your blood boil as your nails dig into your palms. It took everything in you to not grab his ugly mug and slam it into the table.

“And…I’m…I’m sorry.” The words grit through your teeth and he nods as he brings a hand to his chin.

“Sorry speak up, I didn’t hear what you said.” He holds a hand to his ear as the two idiots chuckle beside him enjoying the anger and the embarrassment on your face for having to apologize to them when you both knew you were justified to whoop their fucking asses.

“I’m…” “Speak up still can’t hear you.” Derek says and the boys chortle your nails digging deep into your palm, “I’m sorry.” You articulate the venom clearly in your tone as you’re forced to look at him as he takes in your words. You turn ready to head back to your table when he speaks up.

“Why don’t you come to the back and you can really show me how sorry you are.” He says smugly and you hear the snickers coming from his friends at what he was insinuating. You freeze and your eyes meet Ellie she couldn’t hear exactly what was said but saw the anger deep in your eyes before they moved to the table across the room with the adults watching the situation. Your gaze meets Tommy and his face morphs realizing what you’re about to do as the boy behind you speaks up, “Come up I’ll be sure to put that mouth to wor-” His head snaps back a large crack filling the air and you welcomed the pain in your already injured knuckles and seeing the blood freely falling from his rebroken nose.

“Eat shit.” You hiss quickly heading for the exit leaving the commotion behind you as the hall is quickly filled with shouting. Good job being the opposite of yourself.

Your back pressed against the boxes in your room as you sat in the corner. It felt like the only place you could hide and avoid the fight you knew was to come. You hear the door open and the heavy footsteps followed by the lighter ones but the heavy ones move towards your room. Joel opens the door at first not seeing you before spotting the tips of your shoes peeking from behind the tower of boxes. Moving until he sees you sitting against the wall your knees to your chest as you flex and unflex the hand you used to punch Derek.

“What the hell was that? What happened to apologizing and leaving.” Joel says crouching down to your level as your gaze is glued to the wall in front of you as you focus on the blood soaking the ‘bandages’, “Are you listening to me?”

“He wanted me to suck his dick.” You mumble and Joel grows silent sure he misheard you, “What?” He says and you don’t even glance at him, the lack of emotion in your voice as you sit huddled in the corner away from view.

“He said he wanted me to come to the back to show how ‘sorry’ I was. He was sure to put my mouth to-” “Stop.” Joel cuts you off before you can finish he feels disgusted hearing what was spoken to you. He wanted to go back to that mess hall and beat the crap out of that punk if that’s what he thinks about treating women. But the rational adult part knew that wasn’t the reason they brought you over to apologize.

“I’m sorry he said that. No man should talk to a lady like that.” Joel says and you scoff finally making eye contact with him though very briefly, “Like I’m a lady. Besides I’ve dealt with worse than some limp-dick teen.” He couldn’t help his mind run with slight concern, what was worse than what happened together that made this incident now insignificant? Joel stands looking down at the girl who continues to stare at the wall. It was moments he felt like two different people were in you; One was a ruthless girl who killed multiple adults twice your size and beat up three teens on her own, but the other was this timid girl who hid in corners and avoided care or help and was an insecure shell of a person.

“I think it’s best if you avoid the mess hall. Let this all simmer, I’m sure we have some leftovers to eat.” Joel says and you hum absentmindedly your gaze staring at the wallpaper that was beginning to peel in the corner. Joel looks at you one last time before retreating from your room finding the other Millers waiting on the couch for the information. Tommy felt like he was going to gain grey hairs too early from how much stress you put him through. The other brother sits up seeing the other enter the room seeing the exhausted look on his face as he rubs a hand on his beard.

“So what did she say, 'cause I don’t think Seth is going to accept a second time of her assaulting his son,” Tommy says as Joel leans against the wall rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He peeks around the corner trying to spot the younger girl who retreated upstairs to her room before turning to the couple.

“The kid…he had suggested some inappropriate actions as a form of forgiveness.” He felt sick saying it trying to be as PG as possible with the presence of the two-year-old in Maria’s arms. The looks of disgust and horror are clear on the two parents' faces as Tommy sighs pushing his hair back and Maria looks furious her motherly instincts reacting.

“I’ll speak to the council, though she shouldn’t have laid her hands on him. We don’t excuse harassment of any kind. Derek will be punished accordingly,” Maria says, and both brothers nod, “But so will Y/n for today and yesterday. Tommy and I spoke about this last night I think it’s best we get her to do some work for the community. It will keep her preoccupied instead of cooped up here, but for the safety of others until she grows more comfortable around others probably a job away that can be more secluded.” She explains and Joel nods. Ellie had her classes to keep her busy and if not if was hanging out with her friends. You technically didn’t need school so giving you work would keep you busy.

“What did you have in mind?”

[numetaljackdog]

AND. AND. these people do NOT know what a genre is. like rap, country, jazz, yes these of course are genres. but lots of real geniuses in the notes on that post are like ummm my least favorite genre is nepo baby top 40 pop music 😏 well MY least favorite genre is weezer 🙄 STOP TALKING AT ONCE. regardless of the quality one could try to ascribe to the music listed here it's all without a point!! because those!!!! are not genres!!!!!!! top 40 is not a genre!!!!!! do you dislike all the genres that currently have a presence on the top 40? i'll bet the fuck you don't!!!! especially bc then we're back to the previously resolved conversations about rap and country and how they are in fact, not deserving of the title of "worst genre." i don't care if you like weezer or not, but weezer is a rock band - do you dislike all rock?? or even all alternative rock??? do you think that somehow fits the mold of "worst genre," a style of music that... what, doesn't deserve to exist?? guess what!!!! that would be a dumbass thing to say too!!!!!!!!

and so on and so forth until we arrive at the obvious, easy-as-breathing-air solution, posited by my own dear mutual in the tags of the original post: there IS no worst genre!!!!!!! mystery fucking solved!!!!!!! all styles of music have equal potential for value because they are all vessels of human creation and expression!!!!!! all genres have some good material and some bad material and a whoooole lot of just okay material!!!!! and even those are clearly subjective it's just a matter of personal preference at a small scale and critical consensus at a larger scale!!!!! you fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vdragon-creations]

TMayNT Day 25: Your Turtlesona

Day 25 of @tmaynt Prompt: Your Turtlesona!

*breaths in deeply*

I think you fuckers know exactly what and who I'm about to gush over for a bit! Let 's do this shit! XD

So for those that are new to me and my content, Hi! And I'm not sorry for the lore dump I'm about to bash you over the head with! For those of you that ARE aware of me, heyyyy! I'm gunna hit you over the head with my lore once again!

This is Sasha The Cheetah!

I guess you could call her a "Turtlesona", but I don't really see her as an extension of myself, so she's really just a Fan Character! One of the first ones I've ever made actually. If you wanna know more about her and her other versions (She has 11 for fuck sake!) I'll link her very own in depth post, along with the posts I made for Fortnite and Mutant Mayhem Specifically as well, since they came along later. The major Sasha Post, Mutant Mayhem, and Fortnite!

2003 Sasha (The one in front with the pointy crystal on her neck), was the first version I ever made. She started out VERY different then what she now, and when the Turtles Forever movie came out, that's when I started playing with the idea of more versions of her. And Well...you see where that led me!

Each version, while the same character, all have their own distinct personalities and goals. Their relationships with the turtles even differ in a few versions. Even their Backstories differ a lot, as in some, she's a mutated Cheetah, others she's a human turned into s mutant! Their powers and abilities are also vastly different from version to version! In some she has power over electricity and wind, others she's a healer, some only have the ability to cast magic, in some they have no powers what so ever, and in one in particular, SHE A LITERAL FUCKING GOD!

The core similarities tho at the heart of each one are:

She is a Cheetah. (Of some variant.)

She has a strong bond with Donnie. (Be that romantic or otherwise.)

Cares deeply for their motivations in life.

And with each version, I do my best to convey which version of the TMNT through how they are drawn! Now, of course, some of my own style will peek through in each one. But I do my best to make it easy to tell which Sasha goes with which set of turtles. And I've done my best to make each version fit with the lore and story that their version of the TMNT goes by. (In some cases not enough is known, so I'll play with it a bit in those cases.)I've even thought about Voices for each one, currently still working on that post. (It's a monster of a post, but I'm hoping it will be worth it.)

I could keep going for hours, but. I don't wanna waste more of your time then I already have! Thank you for your time! And I hope you like my cheeb baby! She's my pride and joy, and i hope you at least found her interesting! (And if you checked out her other posts, uhhhh, let me know what you think. you know....if you want. X3)

[deoll]

hiii dolls <33 i think it’s my first actual draft that made it as a post in a long time so enjoy!! self-insert, gn friendly!

Scaramouche x Reader || One Bed Trope

"I'm fucking sick of this. No you listen to me, do you know who I am?'' he throws his fists against the wood. What a rowdy guy, if he keeps this up I might be the one who'll get fucking sick of this fiasco.

"I'm sorry sir, most of our rooms are unfortunately taken and our staff is overworked due to this blizzard. Could you be a little patient until we check to see what we could offer you and your colleagues?" the woman at the front desk appeared to be distressed, managing a phone at her ear with her shoulder, trying to write some notes down at the same time. Scaramouche is not having it. If it were any other day perhaps I wouldn't be this easily irritated, but unfortunately my cheeks are scarred by the cold wispy wind, I can't feel any of my fingers due to frostbite, I haven't eaten anything, tired as hell and most importantly in a need of a shower. He's not helping my condition in the slightest, not that he ever did. Not that I would want him to, but that doesn't mean that I want him to worsen it.

"..Do you even know who you're talking to? I don't care how you manage your goddamn hotel, you must have 4 rooms for Tsaritsa's Harbingers. What kind of pathetic unorganized team do you even have here that a snow storm is all it takes for this whole place to-" (Y/N) puts their hand on his shoulder, making him stop mid sentence. "I'm sorry for my partner here he's just tired, please do what you must." I pulled him back and talked with the polite lady in front of me. Unfortunately, Scaramouche did not appreciate that. I could feel him fuming behind my back, his eyes could cut if i were to turn and look at him. Fortunately I don't, trying to contain an upcoming chuckle at how ridiculous he looks right now. Insufferable fucker.

"Now now comrade-" Tartaglia tries to put his palm on his hat and almost instantly having it waved off by him. "that's no way of treating a woman! Did nobody teach you that as a kid?" he gleefully laughed, as he usually does in his off work moments. What a guy...will anyone ever understand him? He goes from idiotic happy go lucky guy to a minimal quiet death sword in such a short amount of time. Matter of fact, we're coming down from a mission where he mercilessly tortured five millelith guards for intel on the latest operations managed by the Liyue Qixing. Who knows what goes on through his head while he chooses what to say or do. He might be smarter than anyone in our team if he's acting this way deliberately. Maybe he learned this is the safest way to operate within the Harbingers. Fake.

"You're being childish again Balladeer.." Arlecchino side eyed him, tired of his shit as usual rightfully so. Her elegant form always stuns me. She, like Childe. hides her true thoughts so well that all you can see is a put together act constantly. "Yeah? Let me be childish then, at least i'll have somewhere to sleep tonight, you can stay in the lobby for all I care." Scaramouche turns, ready to get into yet another argument. "Will you stop? We're all tired and your attitude is only agitating us further-" I turn to face him, ready to snap when the lady so kindly cuts me off this time.

"We have 3 rooms available for you, please make your way to room 47, 48 and 51 on the 2nd floor" I heard that and I almost ran to the elevator without another word, without actually letting the information settle in and comprehending it. Everyone turned to look at each other. "Lady I don't know if you're blind or those badly cut bangs are in your eyes but as you can clearly see there's 4 of us." Scaramouche storms to the front desk once again. The young woman looks at him with a sour face, done with his shenanigans. "That's all we can manage at this time, what else would you want from me?" He snarls at her. "Well if you found 3 then you can find another one you-"

"ENOUGH." I pulled him by his sleeve. "Thank you ma'am. We'll manage, have a good one!" I took the keys from the counter and dragged Scaramouche all the way to the elevator, the rest tagging along.

".....Can we do rock paper scissors for each room?"...Childe. "No." I'm glad we all agreed at least on that.

"..." The elevator reaches the 2nd floor. We get out, look at each other and unbeknownst to the rest of us, Arlecchino walks away towards room 48 with a key in her hand. "See you all tomorrow." I look baffled in my hand to notice a 3rd pair of keys missing! When did she even..

"....Can we do rock paper scissors now ?" "..No" I'm glad he agreed. "There's no need for that, I think you and Scaramouche should team up for tonight" I said, crossing my arms against my chest. "What?! Why would you throw me under the bus with him ?" Scara snapped at me, offended at the idea of spending the night with his friendly comrade.

"Hey now you're breaking my heart haha...what does that mean haha.." Scaramouche turns to him, "You snore, you stink, you're taking all the bed to yourself, never flush the toilet, eat all my food, get ridiculously drunk before you go to bed, uncomfortably touchy in your sleep-" "OKAY comrade. We get the point now." Tartaglia reaches out and takes a key out of my hold, winking at us."Ohhh I get how it is, okaay alright then haha~ I'll let you two have your moment for tonight" He smiles and walks away mumbling "..I'm not even that loud when I snore.."

"..." The only thing we can hear is the wind whistling forcefully through the windows along with Childe's rapid pace towards room 47. My hand is still around his sleeve, I could've let go a long time ago but I didn't. I figured it would be uncomfortable letting go now so the only rational thing to do is to go along with it. And so I drag him to...our room, for tonight.

"What are you doing? Are you really just letting him get away with it? Aren't you gonna put up a fight for the room?"

"Well, why aren't you? I'm fine with it, I don't care that much. I just want to eat, shower and go to sleep." His eyes widened for a bit and next thing that I knew, he pulls his hand back. "I never said I want to bunk up with you." "...You're right, you didn't. And to that I say, you sadly don't have a choice...so you either bunk up with me or you can go sleep in the lobby next to your dear front desk lady." He's frowning at me now, distaste all over his face. With that being said, he takes the keys from my hand and starts walking towards room 51, leaving me behind. I rush to his side trying to keep up in fear he would lock me out, which would be completely in his character. I definitely wouldn't call us friends, we bicker more than we bond. Not that I wouldn't want to bond with him, he's simply unapproachable, and I genuinely think that's how he wants to be. He's doing it on purpose. It's not like I never tried to get him, but you can't crack open someone who doesn't want to be cracked and vulnerable. Reason why I sit back and watch him be an angry insufferable jerk.

Sometimes I wonder what goes through his mind as well, what made him act like this, respond to life this way. I wouldn't mind if he let me in for once, if he let me listen. I wonder when was the last time someone listened to him, when was the last time he felt heard.

"Why would I want to sleep next to a bitch with a bad bob" I laughed at his comment, "You're ruthless. Poor girl...you went all in on her bangs too you criminal." He snarled, "She should've had that coming, how do you leave your house with your bangs looking like that" opening the door for us, we entered and I immediately felt my shoulders relax, letting the comforting aroma of clean laundry fill me in. Without any words I plop down onto our bed. "Get down loser, you're stinking my bed." I chuckle, "That's the point jerk, so you'd sleep on the floor." moving my hands up and down taking as much space as possible, smiling. It feels kind of...peaceful. These back and forths with him, they feel so natural. "I'll go ahead and bring our stuff in here, do you want something to eat?" I rise up on an instant, my stomach making an unpleasant sound. Would he bring me something? He cares enough to ask? "Actually I'm really really hungry right no-" the door closes. Did he just?...no. No, he's evil but not this vile. I take back everything I just said about feeling peaceful. With a huff I get out of bed and rush to the bathroom, there's no reason to waste any more time so I'll just take a shower.

With that being said, I undress and fix the water just right letting it run down my body after such a long tiresome day. It's always nice how hotels give you everything you may need for a bath, except for clothes. I realized as I'm now out of the shower that I don't have anything clean to wear. Just in cue, I hear the front door opening and closing once more. "(Y/N)? Are you in the bathroom?" No...Oh Archons not like this.. "Yeah...Did you bring my stuff as well?" He laughs, "Your stuff? Why would I bring YOUR luggage." He's got to be kidding me. I roll up a towel around my form and furiously get out of the bathroom. There he stands, laughing in my face with both of our luggage and what looks like some take out? Standing in the middle of the room looking dumbfounded, I ask him "You also bought...food?" He looks at me like I said something stupid, "Well yeah, I'm hungry." That's when it clicked. Yeah right he is...a puppet with no need of food, being hungry. I smiled at him softly without another word and looked through my stuff to get dressed. "I finished showering, the bathroom is all yours if you need it." Scaramouche was confused but let it go this time "Will go shower too then" And so he did.

While he was busy showering I prepped the whole room, unpacked everything including our meal. He quietly opens the door and for a moment just stays in the doorway looking at me puffing the pillows. What a silly girl he thinks. Putting in so much effort, he feels something fill in the void inside of him. It's...nice, warm, peaceful

"..Do you wanna go to sleep?" He looks at me, nodding. Looking at him now, he's acting strange. Almost sad but at peace, quiet, tranquil melancholy. Must've hit a nerve without wanting to. He looks in need of comfort but I feel hopeless, I brought him back something he hadn't thought in a long time...I triggered him. He gets in bed while I turn the lights off, suddenly it hits me. I realize it in that moment how intimate this feels. How raw, how vulnerable. I climb up in bed on his opposite side. The bed itself is not tiny but I guess due to the snowstorm outside we're laying pretty close to one another, our backs touching.

It's quiet, as tired as I was before proved to be useless now that I'm standing next to Scaramouche, so many unspoken words kept me wide awake. And then it happened. He broke the silence "I once convinced myself that humanity doesn't deserve kindness. I had a lot of trial and errors and every one of them proved that they're all doomed by their own selfish needs anyway. Humans don't deserve care. And still I find myself contradicting that in my mind." His voice is calm, relaxed and yet so sad. So simple yet it hides details that I may never learn. On impulse I turned around and hugged his back gently. He tensed up but just as quickly relaxed entirely in my arms. "It takes a lot of courage to try again, to trust again. To want to care, even if you know there's a chance it won't be fruitful. It means that at core, you want to give and help unconditionally. It means there's a lot of love within you Scara, including for humanity. That's powerful." For a second I feel him shaking in my arms and with that, I felt my heart breaking. He turned around facing me, "I feel like I want to care for you" I opened my arms, smiling at him "Then do so. Allow yourself to feel that way!" and so he does, he allows himself to be held. Not too long after, I feel him holding me instead, playing with my hair almost enchanted by my figure. His fingers are gentle, his palms are cold and yet I've never felt a warmer hold in my life. "You're not on your own anymore. I already care for you in ways you don't even know. You're being cared for." I feel his arms tightening around me. "..I won't ever forget this, do you know that? These exact same words may as well haunt me one day." I look up at him, "Or bless you. The risk for vulnerability is high, but the reward is always worth it. Don't cage yourself in fear Scara. Live." I felt his head fall on top of mine. He fell asleep while I was talking! This guy...and just like that, the big ruthless Balladeer fell asleep in my hair.

[beatcroc]

excessively long and complex read on pillar john, and the larger john collective

there are a lot of things in pizza tower that, to one extent or another, Are John. some, like the pillar johns, have known and stated canon; but there's a myriad of other things, from mini-johns to the tower itself, that could also be argued as Being John. this post aims to reconcile all of those things as different facets of the whole being that is "John".

now right out of the gate i want to be real. i want to level with you for where im coming from with all this. i do think john is akin to some kind of god. i don't mean this in a super literal sense, but this dude is absolutely [conditionally] immortal to me. he's been around for a very very very long time, and will likely continue to exist almost indefinitely. barring specific circumstances.

i don't have an exact image for the first type of john, so i'm using this scrapped type of block from betas bc it illustrates the concept well enough

this is what i'll henceforth be referring to as "john tower"

this is john in his purest essence; the tower itself, and/or a power or a presence or just a vibe contained in and by the tower's walls and bricks. john tower is 'where' it could be said john's true consciousness and memories lie, but by itself it isn't really "alive" and doesn't have a will its own.

i'm not taking the brick itself Too seriously/literally since it's from beta, but i think it works for the general idea of "John is, and is within, the tower at its most fundamental level; and left to its own the tower will just sorta start making John-type things." Such as the following:

this one i will be calling "real john" this john is the physical, living manifestation of john tower, and what i would properly consider to be "John, Brother Of Gerome". he's a sapient guy with a personality and will and all the stuff that usually comes with being alive. this john is probably the most important type, and under normal circumstances there's only ever one of them at once.

these are just "dead johns". yknow because of the.

yeah. past incarnations of real john that died or got killed, or perhaps just wore out after awhile. real john dying isn't a particularly huge issue because, again, the tower just sorta Makes these things. and boy have there been a lot. they never seem to look quite the same between bodies, but they're all the same john with the same memories nonetheless, and so long as the tower stands, there will be more johns.

these are the pillar johns. this is known. these, as far as i know, are canonically clones of a cursed state of real john, and are mentally all the same guy by way of a hivemind. no speculation to be done here!

this "original john" is also stated canon the current real john, under a curse from pizzahead. physically the same being as real john, so the tower isn't just going to make a new one because this one's not technically Dead. i like to think john is closer to just being another brick of the tower like this, in something of a suspended state between being john tower and real john. still alive and sapient like real john, but much more connected to and in tune with the general sense of Energies of john tower. Has direct control over bits of it, which is primarily expressed as:

mini-johns! as real john is to john tower, so mini-johns are to pillar johns. there is no way to make this less confusing. mini-johns are essentially just random ass bricks and blocks of the tower that pillar john went 'ok little fucker you're gonna be alive now'. they're not part of either the pillar john hivemind OR the john tower collective and operate on their own agenda, which is i suppose is why they attack you, despite john generally seeming to be on your side about what you're doing to the tower. the little guys are a little more removed from their host, and aren't too thrilled about you tearing everything down. or maybe john is just pissed about getting killed over and over since there's no doubt that shit hurted. the john ghost certainly doesn't seem too happy about it either but honestly he's allowed to be a little vengeful in my book.

an aside note but there's also definitely some weird connection between them and [pillar] John Being Dead since they only ever appear during escape, except for in the graveyard-themed level [scrapyard] where everything is already dead... though interestingly not the JOHN graveyard level [john gutter] until pizza time? whatever. i don't have much of a sensible framing for this aside from it just being a general thematic thing and the mini-john section is too long already so i am moving on.

this john i frankly have no fucking clue about and am generally leaning more toward the idea that it's maybe not a literal thing that exists. more just a visual representation of one thing or another?

since it dies when you kill the final/original pillar john my initial read on it was that it's just sorta like an alternate view of original john so you could get a good look at the whole thing not restricted to the space in the 2d plane the player is on, but, crucially, it is missing real/original john's hat, which feels like too central a detail to leave out.

my alternate read on it is that it's a representation of the... overall state of the tower. emotionally, or perhaps structurally, which really might mean thing when you are talking about an arcane structure that is an undetermined amount of alive. either way, it's clear john, the tower, its energies, anything relating to such have been under duress and steadily, irreversibly decaying for....however long it's been since pizzahead took over. bit of a dour note to end on i suppose but that's just the way the tower crumbles man.

you may ask me what all this means for gerome. and i would answer, hell if i know?!? they're said to be brothers and clearly the same Kind of guy, but they don't seem to be cut from the same cloth, as it were. gerome doesn't seem to have Powers:tm: like john does, or pizzahead certainly would have been using him for shit as well, and there's also not a million versions of him lying around to land him in that weird pseudo-immortal space like john.

my best guess is he's something more intrinsically connected to the treasures, and something of a life support system or failsafe for the tower. i'm not sure how to Coherently articulate my thoughts here, but it's something like...little guy fundamental to but also entirely separate from the tower, made to help with its general upkeep [janitor stuff] and also to protect itself in dire straits [treasures]. not in any way attached to the john collective so that if something goes wrong there, at least gerome's small part of the tower's vibe remains untarnished. something about shaping and fragmenting the tower's energies into and across each of the levels by routing and/or stabilizing it through cloned johns; by proxy still this taps in to the gerome part of the tower's energies which manifests as its own separate door/room within that space that can't be altered by any other force re: the background in the treasure rooms always just being normal purple tower brick. treasures being condensed physical standalone bits of the tower's energy, enough of whatever's been channeled into that area to keep john going when given back to him should something disconnect/destroy the energies of the rest of that area. something like that.

honestly, i still have a bit of a hangup in saying gerome is of the same tower origin as john simply because he's not same shade of purple as all the other john tower stuff, but that's really kind of nitpicking at that point, so. hwatever.

ANYWAY all that said and done the most important thing you should take away from this post is that at one point gerome might have had a brother that looked like this

[artiststarme]

What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 18

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

Well, I don't really like this one but I want to get something out today! Only two more parts, it's bittersweet in a way. I did not think that the first fic I ever wrote would have so many parts or be over 70 pages on a google doc.

I'm already working on a few new fics though I don't know if I'll end up posting them. One is a Steve superpower fic and the other is an angsty one with Steve and Eddie leaving together. Would anyone be interested in reading those?

~*~*~*~

Steve was feeling good. While he had initially been nervous to see his family again after being ignored and leaving town, he recognized that he may have judged the situation too harshly. The entire Party, besides Erica who was still at summer camp, was sitting at one of the picnic tables set up in the Byers’ backyard. They were all laughing and catching up until Hopper cleared his throat and brought up the dreaded topic. 

“So, I know we’re all having a good time here but I think we should talk about what happened,” he said, immediately bringing everyone’s attention to Steve.

Steve chuckled nervously, “Um, I don’t think we do. Everything’s fine, we’ve all moved on.”

Steve didn’t need anyone else pointing out his flaws. He’s already been made aware that he misunderstood the situation and acted too hastily, he really didn’t want to talk about it again. And if there was one thing he hated above all else, it was seeing people become sad when they were supposed to be happy. He saw the kid’s smiles starting to fade at Hopper’s words and he desperately wanted to keep them there. “Besides, I’m back right now! Let’s focus on that. Where’s the ice cream?”

Hopper glared harder at his pseudo-son and gruffly muttered, “we are talking about it. You left without telling anyone, had us looking for you for months thinking we might find a body, and then you show up acting like nothing happened!”

He turned his angered gaze to Eddie sitting next to Steve, “And don’t think you’re off the hook either, Munson. You were talking to him for weeks without telling any of us. Then you disappeared too. I had to deal with Wheeler trying to push me into charging Steve with kidnapping.”

At that, both Steve and Eddie nearly gave themselves whiplash turning to look at Mike. “What the hell, bro?” Eddie was surprised and somewhat touched at his concern. 

Meanwhile, Steve felt the opposite. He was offended, he’d known this kid for years and he still hated him despite everything he’d done. The fucker was permanently on his shit list now. “What the fuck, Wheeler? You little shit!” 

Hopper cleared his throat once again to drag their offended expressions away from the scowling teen. “Language! You both should know better than to disappear without telling anyone, especially with what we all have gone through. So what happened?”

Steve looked at Eddie. Eddie looked at Steve. Everyone else looked at them looking at each other. Steve sighed and tried to explain in a way that wouldn’t expose his vulnerability. “I didn’t think anyone would care if I left. My dad kicked me out and I didn’t have anywhere else to go. None of you had talked to me in weeks at that point so I just started driving. I ended up in Chicago and now I really like it there.”

Everyone around the table looked slightly horrified. They had all played a part in his departure, they knew. But they didn’t consider how distant and unreachable they had made themselves. 

“Kid, why didn’t you come here? Joyce and I told you that you could stay here whenever you needed to. Why didn’t you come to us?” Hopper asked, his gruff voice strained and congested. 

Steve just shook his head, his fingers twisting Eddie’s in search of comfort. “I didn’t want to bother you guys. You already have three kids, I didn’t want you to have to take me in because of pity.”

“So instead you went off on your own like a dumbass?” Max said. 

He glanced at her, “I’ve been alone my entire life so yeah, it wasn’t that bad. I found a job and an apartment. I’m happy now.”

“Why didn’t you reach out to anyone, Steve? We were really worried about you,” Joyce added. 

“Everyone seemed to be going about their normal lives when I called. I didn’t think you guys really noticed that I was gone and I didn’t want to bother you. I really don’t want to talk about it,” Steve said, frowning and making moves to make himself appear smaller. 

Eddie, sensing his boyfriend’s inner turmoil, placed a comforting hand on his knee, an action hidden from view of the others at the table. Steve shot him a manically desperate but appreciative close-lipped smile. His eyes begged Eddie to do something to draw the attention away from him. 

And Eddie would always do what he could to help his boyfriend. Without hesitation, he blurted, “Steve and I are dating!”

With that, Steve’s self-inflicted disappearance was forgotten. The reactions ranging throughout the group were extreme. Hopper had the most dramatic spit take of his life and spit his iced tea all over El and Mike that sat opposite him at the table. El looked confused at the situation before leveling her father with a glare for drenching her new shirt in iced tea and spit. Mike was glowering at Steve looking absolutely disgusted. Will and Joyce had small, surprised smiles on their faces. Nancy and Johnathan’s jaws dropped in surprise, staring at the two in the utmost shock. Lucas and Dustin similarly looked shocked like they had expected anything else. Max was blankly looking at them like she already knew. Robin was looking at Steve nervously, anxiously awaiting his reaction. And Steve? He was looking at Eddie in horrified shock. So that wasn’t the distraction that he was gunning for then. 

Mike, unsurprisingly, collected his wits most quickly. “Are you fucking kidding me?! First my sister and now my Dungeon Master? Do you have no fucking shame, Steve?”

His indignation brought Steve out of his shock quickly, defensiveness overtaking his initial horror. “Okay, watch your fucking mouth, Wheeler. This has literally nothing to do with you. Nothing! I don’t know why you’re always so invested in my love life but it’s weird, dude. Stop.”

Mike sputtered and seemingly could not find anything justifiable to say in response. Robin jumped in then, face still aflame in a heavy blush. She said, “Well I support you and I am happy that you are happy! Right, guys?”

She turned to the others that were still recovering from their shock. They all nodded except for Hopper. His blank expression made Steve anxious, even more so when he got up from his seat and moved towards him. 

“Hop, I just… I’m sorry… I just-”

He was silenced when Hopper pulled him into a bear hug. “I’ll always support you kid, even when you’re interested in the likes of Munson here. I might not understand it but I accept it.”

Steve hugged him back with tears in eyes, “Thanks, Hop.”

They both pulled away after another moment and Hopper went back to his seat next to Joyce. The whole table was up in arms debating on whether they had seen this coming (Max, Lucas, and Will said they had; Dustin, Mike, and El definitely did not). Steve just smiled at the chaos that was his family and pulled a blushing Eddie up by the shirt collar before tugging him close. Steve looked into Eddie’s eyes and whispered against his lips, “you’re such a dipshit.”

Eddie smiles and runs his tongue along his lower lip, “yeah, but I’m your dipshit.”

Steve barked a laugh in response before giving him the grossest, messiest kiss he could manage. Even with the disgusted outcries from the Party and the berries being thrown at them courtesy of Robin, kissing Eddie and being surrounded by family had Steve feeling happy and complete.

Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

Updated Taglist: @nickavalens @conversesweetheart @themostunoriginalpersonever @swimmingbirdrunningrock @eddiethegreatteddybear @harrumphingtons @call-me-big-eyes @moonshadows-13 @glittergluekintsugi @cpidcupk @doubleb11 @mentalcyborg @amoris-no-smut-allowed @purple-lemonade @labels-are-for-the-weak @thebrazilianatheist @rajumat @livelaughlexa @5ammi90 @colorful565 @marvelousforlife @chaoticcoffeequeen @gregre369 @suddenlyinlove @thegreatmistake @stillfullofshit @nburkhardt @batxsignalsx @newunknowns @thosemessyvibes @tailsfromthecrypt @luciana-rowan @bird-with-pencils @adaed5 @lolawon @flustratedcas @iwillfindmyneverland @messrs-weasley @skoomy-doompy

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[hello-nichya-here]

lmao you're so angry that you know shit about radfem so made an entire fucking essay of actually... PROVING IT??? of made up facts to make radfems look like a boogieman liberals wants us to make 😂 it's so pathetic omg, ok step by step:

1)lol what? radfem is about WOMEN, woman's safety, it doesn't matter who exactly was the abuser, what matters is to help female victim because it a movement about WOMEN. Take your head out of your ass.

2) Laetitia Ky, Artė, any south Korean radfem cuz any other type of feminisms won't work there hundreds of woc radfem here just 🗿

3) lol what? did you just imagined it yourself lol?? i'll repeat, radfem is about women well being, it doesn't matter who exactly was the abuser, what matters is to help female victim because it a movement about WOMEN not victims of abuse. and it just so happened that men commit about 90% of abuse, that's a statistic you can google go educate yourself

4) didn't libfem tumbler came out with this bs? it's the same labeling woman, putting them into unneeded categories that liberals like so much? i'll repeat, radfem is about women well being which means no separation from one another and no judgment especially about your sexuality. Take your head out of your ass.

5) ohhh yess we all just haaaaate ace.... no lmao. no one gives a shit, maximum is questioning the label itself cuz it's pointless, your asexuality is a low libido. no radfem gives a shit.

6) lmao where do you take this shit? 😂 can i take your narco dealer's number? also, oh what's this? several public researches that proves that TIMs exhibit a male-type pattern of criminality? rapes in prisons where trans women were sent? hundreds of assaults in public restrooms??? wow shocking!

7) you don't need to be saved, some therapy, cuz i doubt you'd like to be beaten/choked/ect in any other circumstances. another question does it not bother you that your partner would enjoy "playfully" hurting you? in short it's called coping mechanism to deal with abuse and trauma, go educate yourself

8) yeah for some reason we don't support child trafficking, rapes, murders, pedophilia and etc. that comes with prostitution. go watch interviews with those who escaped prostitution, they all hated it. they were abused and traumatized. Take your head out of your ass.

9) hun, we don't hate you we pity you at worst. it's not our job too look out for men, it FEMENISM it's about WOMEN and only WOMEN. adult human female, comprende?

and listen i may not be the best person in the world but at least i'm not spending my life chronically online writing incest fics ;) one again, pull your head out of your ass and educate yourself, here's some masterpost https://manlarp.tumblr.com/post/667874370724691968/accessible-radfem-ideology-masterpost bye bye :)

Saying "WE ARE ALL ABOUT WOMEN" doesn't change shit. You once again proved my point by saying that my experience with radfems spewing out abuse apologism towards me when they thought I was being abused didn't happen based on nothing but your favorite go-to defensive line. YOU didn't see it thefore it didn't happen to ME. Way to prove you guys don't try to silence women who disagree with you by trying to exactly that.

And yeah, I know there are woc of who are TERFs. There are also women who are even more misonygistic than some men. There are plenty of slavic countries where nazism is still a big thing even though Hitler hated slavs. Self-hating idiots have existed and always will. Doesn't change the fact that you fuckers are racist all the damn time.

"We don't care if people are ace, we don't devide women" literally a quick search will show that you guys do. A bunch of the anti-ace discourse was literally INVENTED by radfems, something they are very proud to admit. And plenty of queer radfems are biphobic all the fucking time, something I, a bisexual woman, have to put up with every single time one of your friends comes bother me. Go lie to someone else, bitch.

"Those who ESCAPED prostitution hated it" Yes, people tend to hate things they were forced to do. Doesn't change the fact that you guys are more concerned with making women who WANT to do sex work be labelled as criminals than with punishing human traffickers.

And once again, we have you being all condescending. "Let ME tell you what YOU want. Let ME tell you what makes YOU feel safe." And gotta love how you heard me say I'm kinky and immediately assumed I'm submissive, instead of a dominant or a switch. And then of course you have to go for the slut shaming of "You write kinky porn therefore you are automatically wrong."

"FEMINISM IS ONLY ABOUT WOMEN" Which is why it is dying. If your movement cannot accept that the world isn't black and white, and that societal hierarchies are much more complicated than just Group A is always the all powerful one and Group B always gets screwed over, it WILL fail because it will be ignoring real problems for the sake of keeping a narrative alive. Which is why nobody fucking likes radfems, and the world would be better off if you idiots were gone.

I don't need to read your bullshit, because you idiots will scream your nonsense at me all the time, like you just did. And not once have any of you ever said a single word that was worth listening.

Don't bother sending me more asks, I'll just block you. Go larp with your fellow radfems about every single woman who has a problem with you guys is "brainwashed by the patriarchy" because there's no way you guys could EVER be the problem and that your "activism" is as shallow, stupid and fake as you are.

[margridarnauds]

9, 10, and 17 for bg3 please!

9. worst part of canon

BG3 is my beloved mess of a game. Like, it looks so smooth on the surface, then you get below the surface and there's a lot of really, really bad writing and artifacts from several previous drafts that no longer work. I really, really don't like the way that they treated Sarevok and Viconia, in particular though, especially Sarevok because it was used to give a horrific backstory to Orin that...oh, wait, is never really given the weight that it deserves and is used to show how edgelord supreme Durge is Bhaal's Special Boy. The first two games aren't dear to my heart like they are for some people, but I can't imagine going through all the effort of romancing Viconia or redeeming Sarevok, only for the developers to go "lol have you considered if they were UNREDEEMABLE? Wouldn't that be COOL? Also have you considered that if you're fucked up from birth you can't change and the only proper ending for you is to be killed by my OC, who is Different and Is redeemable but we're also going to throw out some hints that, even though they were a corpsefucker, they were always at least a little bit good inside?" Hate, hate, hate. (Also, in general, the game's treatment of abuse in general is...shockingly bad, once you get beyond the one time they handled it with the sensitivity it deserved.)

10. worst part of fanon

I really don't like when G@le or H@lsin fans jump onto posts about Wyll's treatment to make it about their faves. Like, it's not the same, there isn't the history behind whatever treatment those two characters got that there is with Wyll, stop it. And stop using autism as a way of trying to put their treatment on the same level of marginalization as Wyll's, especially since it's never been confirmed that they were written to BE autistic. (Autistic people can find solace in whatever characters they want, it isn't like I'm the Autism Police, but also...no one does this to female characters.) (I'm going to start saying that Minthara was totally justified in trying to raid the Grove and that people only hate her because she's autistic-coded.)

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I'm really kind of isolated in the sense that (1) I'm in a kind of niche part of fandom to begin with, as a Raphael Fucker, and (2) I haven't been able to participate like I'd normally want to due to...well.....*gestures broadly to flaming trashfire*.

But something that I really like to see is when people make their Tavs *people* instead of blowup dolls for their love interest of choice. I get the appeal of self-shipping and self-inserts, and I'll be the first to admit that I did put a lot of myself into Kitrye (and Malla, in different ways), but I really do like when they have their own distinct personalities and backstories and plotlines outside of being a love interest to the romanced character of choice. Love my Tavs who exist just to star in their own PWPs, the authors/artists are doing the Lord's work and sustaining the eternally thirsty masses, but I also really love when people do their own thing and I'm always going to cheer that on.

[chairgun]

OC THREAD!

Welcome all to my OC Thread! I'll be posting stuff about my oc's here from time to time so I thought I allow you all to get to know them a bit! I'll be going through character to character giving a brief description and a image of them. Credit for the art will be given either on the image itself or before I give a brief description. Also certain images will be split up as to focus on one certain character. With that being said.. Lets begin! And if you have any questions for them.. Well I'll have something for that soon. Alright enough Chatting lets begin!

First up on our list is Noah Foxson! (Drawn by StupidGamer201) Noah is one of the 4 main characters of my OC universe, he's gone through a lot over the years, Fighting other worldly threats, becoming a super hero named the Red Spider, being brutally murdered. You know, the usual crap. But despite this he always keeps a level head and tries to do what's best for others. Is it always the best? Depends, but he never stops trying. And to him that's all that matters. And with that, that's the first character down, onto the next one!

Next up is Autumn Volkov! (once again drawn by StupidGamer201. This might be a trend for the first 4 characters btw) Autumn is Noah best friend/girlfriend and one of the 4 main characters. She's always happy to head into adventure with her friends and always takes the time to help those she loves. However, she does have a temper if you push her enough, and believe me when I say. She's very scary when her temper is broken. Alright, 2 down. it's time to move onto the next one!

Next up is another one of the 4 main characters! Jason Mcgrath (once again, this character was drawn by StupidGamer201. Told yeah this would be trend with the first four.) Jason absolutely loves to fight people, and he will jump into action whenever there's a chance to battle someone. He tends not to be the smartest out of the main four but he makes up for it with his charm and his fluff. Alrighty, next one coming up! Get ready!

Last of the main four characters is Kyla Ruiz! (Can you guess who drew this one? If you do you'll get a cookie.) Kyla is the smartest one out of the main four. She's always making sure they aren't doing something stupid while also toying with her tech. She secretly wishes to be a cat instead of a human but she doesn't tend to tell anyone. Mostly cause Jason (Her boyfriend) would tease her about it. Also she got snark, a lot of snark. Nuff said.

Alright, that's the main four done, now it's time for a few more characters. Lets get through this second half shall we?

This is Scarlett (or Scarlet. depends on how you wanna call her) She is a 9 tailed fox demon that has existed for years. She loves to manipulate others and take control of their body for her own reasons such as murder, or just ruining their life. And when angered she'll turn into her true form... A massive feral fox demon that'll rip you limb from limb. Besides that though she can also change her body at will, so she can be flat like she is here. Or the bustiest mother fucker you've ever seen. She's usually in the middle with that (Btw no art credit because this is a base, not a actual commission I made of the character) Alrighty, now it's time to move onto another character to speak abbout. Lets move onto the next one!

This is Sally the pikachu! (Drawn by verykittyy on twitter) She's a chubby chu with a love for collecting data on things such as animals or locations. she hopes to be a researcher one day though her love of eating is making that hard to manage. But she'll figure something out.. After she finds something to eat.

Alrighty, almost done, just two more characters to go!

Next up is Shiver NightShade! Who fun fact is actually a special 5th main character! Shocking I know (Btw art is by BluCrystalBean on twitter) Shiver is a kobold who lives in a timeline broken by war and death. She fights for freedom against the cruel city known as Neo York along with her sister and a group of rebels they formed. She's energetic and always ready to do what's right, Tho she isn't exactly the smartest tool in the shed. She tries her best though. Alrighty, it's time for the last character! (For now) Lets end this off!

Lastly for now we have Shiver's Sister Ember Nightshade! (this art was once again drawn by BlueCrystalBean btw.) Ember is the more mature and Level headed of the two sisters. Being the one who formed the rebels after all as their leader. After a certain event she goes missing for a time and now sports a robotic arm, but that doesn't mean despite this she still fights for freedom and for the sake of her new friends and her dear sister. And what that... We've covered all the ocs! Granted, I still have tons more. But for the sake of my hands (and for your eyes) we'll be covering them at a later date once I have references for them. When I do have references I'll update this with them. I hope you enjoyed reading all of this!

[kobblefort]

Rushsly: Almost The Bottom 2

ENDGAME SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT... MAYBE. THEY DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN LAST TIME. BUT THEY COULD HAPPEN THIS TIME! YOU NEVER KNOW!

-116 is stripped for gold, but reveals no more. The project must be paused again - flux stones are needed to continue steel production, so a big random chunk of dolomite is carved out. Migrants arrive, but only a few, bringing our population from 108 before the siege to 115. Perhaps they heard what we're about to do. Maybe they just heard how much our fortress is flourishing.

Indeed, they are just enough to tip us over from being a "town" to a "city," and our wealth must be known all over the Hill of Scars - maybe even all across the Land of Nails.

One must wonder if they know of the beasts lurking in the depths, if they hear of the ratfolk pitifully sending handfuls of themselves to die against our walls, of the potential doom we flirt with at the bottom of the earth.

The child Sraraz Jokedknit is taken by an unknown force, and at just the same time we can hear Kerrik Perplexnightmares doing battle with our old buddies, the olm men.

And just like that, the beast is dead. It seems like prudent timing to make sure the first cavern layer is absolutely, completely walled off.

Yes, I'm hesitating, I know I'm hesitating, I always hesitate, I know jumping into the water makes it way easier to adjust to the temperature than slowly dipping in one part at a time, I know I have to just dig straight down already, but that doesn't mean I'll do it, not without a fuss, not without dragging my feet and trying to talk myself out of it.

Sraraz's artifact is Sorudrzl - Bustkindled - hey yeah I'm into busts kindling - sorry - and it's worth a whopping 22900 whatever-the-units-of-value are. Half of that number is of particular personal value to me for reasons I am not about to disclose but just know that I feel even more nervous and unsettled. But I've wasted enough time, and I'm not a superstitious man; we'll dig, damnit, deeper still, and deepe

Are you fucking kidding me man??? From the southern plains a fucking big-ass minotaur comes. I somehow doubt that it "seeks harmony" and it's time to draw up the bridge real fucking quick. By "seeking harmony" do you mean like "not having anyone left to have problems with?" If you wanna talk we can talk with us in here and you out there otherwise yeah we're not gonna talk. Bridge up doors shut everybody in - hey we might finally get to try that magma trap from literally years ago though, that could be cool.

Her first order of business is attacking the random aardvark we had lazing around outside the fort. I don't even want to post the combat logs, it was brutal, it was not quick, but it served to show us that she's fucking mean and fucking fast. Next she literally charges down a leopard and... like...

This shit is fucked up dude. She's not getting any closer to the base, but seeing the shit she does makes me think maybe it's time we test out our catapults. Remember those??? Will they even work????? One way to find out!!!

The first volley misses by a mile, but at least the sight of boulders flying through the air scares her up into some trees. Well, for a moment, anyways.

Investigating her "Military" tab shows a history of violence that apparently only started once she was 169 years old: hard year, I guess, but no reason to take it out on us or our random little wildlife creatures. She's been hiding in the trees for a while, and though the catapults are good at scaring her, it's just not possible to hit her from our position. The marksbolds will be stationed up on the turrets above the drawbridge (safely behind the drawbridge) but they probably won't be able to land any shots from there either. It's a total standstill.

This fucker shows up on the second cavern layer? Honestly who fucking cares?? Like we're so fucking busy??? We don't even go down there but we literally have this asshole up a tree blocking our access to the entire outside world???? Well, we're going to try and bait the minotaur up top into a bad position. Whether that puts us in a bad position... I dunno. We'll fucking see.

The plan is to send the one kobble in the worst possible mood of the fortress to bait it into the lava trap, and unfortunately, that'd be Zil. Despite having a pretty great time of things by its own admission, it has failed to grow close with any of its squadmates and teeters on the edge of a total psychological meltdown. So like, you know, if it dies... well...

Well we're not going to find out I guess!? Saraz Fishedpraise, an unproven wrestler fucking charges out to yank it down from the tree with his spear, stabbing it in the fucking gut - then the lung, then through the hand so cleanly it tears not just muscle but ligament and nerves. But...

well, do you see that "puddle"

It's actually pretty fucking deep, and Saraz gets thrown right down it after losing control of the battle. As the minotaur charges down the hole she saw the kobold come from...

...the thing I was planning to use Zil Dentedleaks for happens. A truly fearsome foe, but once again, not even past the first row of traps. I genuinely don't think I'll use cage traps in my next fort lol they're so fucking overpowered. I know forgotten beasts and werebeasts can't trigger them but fuck dude, a whole-ass minotaur? Well, at least now we get to throw her down a hole and she dies. A bit anti-climactic but... that's Rushsly for you I guess. Time to recover Saraz's body.

Ty is on cleanup duty again, hauling the 602-weight minotaur cage, almost five times the weight of a boulder of jet, to the garbage hole, where if she does not die immediately on impact, she will eventually be killed. She just thinks: "I feel alright."

I deduced from the location of a gem-studded pillar of obsidian in the second cavern layer where we might be more likely to find what we're looking for - maybe.

But when we get there, it's nothing. The tunnel is rerouted for a bit before I ultimately decide we'll dig one more Z-level down.

Mica. Cobaltite, bismuth, granite. Galena, worthless goddamn galena again; silver is "consolation gold." Could it be one layer deeper, just one? 118, a nice, happy number. It would have been nicer if it was 117, like John Halo. 118, right? 118?

118. Here we go.

I can smell it, man.

This alert makes me nearly jump out of my fucking skin. Cool, man. "The Goldenrod Raven." Why are you even still using iron? Whatever. That's great. We're almost there. Whereever we're getting, we're almost there. Granite, microcline, prase, we have to be close. Cassiterite, for fuck's sakes, it has to be here. Was it "adamantine" this whole time? Have I been reading it "adamantite" the whole time, saying "adamantite" this whole fucking time? Seeing the name every single time I go to punch in a work order and just misreading it every single time?? Where did I get "adamantite" from if it's always been "adamantine???"??? ??? ?????

A gnoll right now are you fucking kidding me???????

A gnoll army right now are you fucking kidding me!?!?!? Well, at least I forgot to lower the drawbridge after the minotaur attack. But seriously? Gnolls? Right fucking now???

One of them walks directly and immediately into a cage trap. The next one stands back and frets about, realizing the entrance is full of traps. A third one charges right past them and dodges an iron disc trap to jam themselves right into another cage trap. Two more nervously fret about the trees, no doubt psyching themselves up to get into the fortress and wreak some havoc, then they just walk straight into the cage traps. One more runs off the map, possibly to finally make the smart idea of going home and saying "We should not go to Rushsly, they have cage traps" - and the one fretting around just outside the cage traps without warning their friends about the cage traps finally leaves with them. Well, that's good.

And as the gnoll madness and my own random little bout of madness starts to break, we get visitors. Our old pals the dwarves. We put the bridge down for them but they insist on coming around the long way. Well guys welcome in welcome in. Just make sure you be good and careful of those fucking cage traps

[crosshimes-fanwritings]

Entwined Tales: Puzzle V: Best Friend

Fandoms/Series: Zatch Bell and Professor Layton Rating: T Crossover AU: Vacantverse Canon Settings: Post-Zatch Bell Anime (References to Manga) and NWOS (Professor Layton) Warnings: Mentions of stalking. Summary: Mariko arrived in Steam Bison and learned about what happened to Suzume. Notes: In the Zatch Bell canon, Suzume does have a best friend named Mariko Nakamura. Her first manga appearance is chapter 7 and anime appearance is episode 4. A pair of usual calm and collected dudes finally lost their temper on one another. Yes, I KNOW Luke would NEVER disrespected Layton, but he's a teenager now and teenagers does have short fuses sometimes. I know it isn't a excuse for OOCness, but I'm just being realistic here. I was fourteen once YEARS ago, after all. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Also, I headcanoned Massachusetts is the American state where Steam Bison is located in. Got the idea from a Professor Layton discord server. Words Count: 1045

Mariko Nakamura only came to Steam Bison, Massachusetts, America, for one purpose; to ensure the safety of her best friend, Suzume. Mariko, sure as hell, did NOT come to Steam Bison to see Suzume still unconscious on a bed while being watched by an American violet-haired teenage girl. When Marina explained the situation, Mariko was pissed as hell. She attempted to leave Suzume's guestroom. Flora entered the room.

"And who the hell are you?!" Mariko snarled.

"Ah! My name is Flora Reinhold."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Reinhold, but please get out of my way!"

"Where are you going?" Marina asked.

"I'm going after the fucking bastard who traumatized my best friend for the fucking I don't know how many times!"

With that, Mariko stormed out of Suzume's guestroom.

"Go follow her, Miss Adams. Maybe you could lead her to where Luke and the Professor are," Flora sighed. "I'll keep watch on Miss Suzume."

"Good idea." Marina stood and hurried out of Suzume's room.

"So, Suzume hasn't found her father yet, so she's been staying with your male friend the entire time?"

"Yes."

"I'm surprised. Suzume usually kept her distance from males after what happened to her back in her homeland. How old is this Triton again?"

"He's fourteen."

"No wonder why. Suzume isn't androphobic when it comes to the younger males."

As Mariko and Marina walked to a hideout where Luke, Layton, and the others were, Mariko observed her new surroundings. Since it was now nighttime, around 8PM, these unusual walking and flying steam-powered machines had the lights on. Why would Suzume's father would be in a place like this? Mariko reminisced about her middle and high school years with Suzume.

"So, the stalker is the same guy Miss Mizuno rejected."

"Damn right," Mariko growled angrily. "That asshole wouldn't take no for an answer, so he kept harassing her until Suzume finally pressed charges on him, but that fucker got away with his stalking."

"Are you serious?!" Marina exclaimed in shock.

"Yes, I am. It turned out the fucker was the son of a CEO or some shit like that."

"Corruption." Marina spat in disgust.

"You called it."

"I dare him to pull that shit here."

"I heard the American CEOs and their offsprings do the same shit."

"Yes, but in America, we're actually fighting against that nasty and cowardly shit."

"That's what I wanted to hear."

Mariko and Marina arrived at a small shop in the reconstruction. Mariko chuckled quietly. So, the hideout was hidden in this reconstructed building, just like those American spy and mafia movies. They entered the shop. They went to the back room, and Marina opened a closet. The closet was disorganized with books, clothes, and toys. Near the end of the closet, Marina removed a box of toys and pulled off a dirty mug. Mariko gaped at a trap door over Marina's shoulder.

"Hey, Alfendi," Marina knocked on the trapdoor. "It's me. I also brought Miss Nakamura."

"Who the freak is Nakamura?!" A young boy's voice exclaimed through the trapdoor.

"Suzume's best friend," Mariko answered.

"Oh, fine!"

The trapdoor opened. Marina and Mariko climbed down a ladder. They found themselves in a small hallway. There was a door at the end of the hallway.

'What a way to make me feel so claustrophobic.' Mariko thought nervously.

"Takamine?!" Mariko exclaimed at her black-haired former classmate from middle school. "What are you doing down here?! More importantly, what are you doing in Steam Bison?!"

"Police purposes," Kiyomaro sighed. He was sitting at the table. "Anyway, why are you doing here?"

"I was worried about Suzume, so I brought myself a two-way ticket to come to America to see how she was doing, and I found out her stalker followed her!"

"Stalker?" A teenage boy with dark blond hair and ebony eyes widened his eyes, concerned. "Why is this the first time I've heard such a person?"

Kiyomaro facepalmed. An older man with a top hat sighed. A red-haired and olive-eyed young boy, Alfendi, and his friends weren't even paying attention; they were too busy brainstorming ideas. Mariko somehow knew she had screwed up. Mariko assured that this blond-haired boy wasn't supposed to know about Suzume's past.

But it was already too late. The blonde shot a nasty glare at Kiyomaro.

"All right, Triton. Suzume dealt with a stalking situation back in her homeland. Happy now?!"

"This is Luke Triton?!' Mariko gawked in surprise.

"Happy now?!" Luke growled at Kiyomaro, his expression enraged. "Are you freaking kidding me?! Why didn't you tell me that Suzume had a stalker?!"

"Please calm down, Luke!" The man with the Top Hat tried to soothe the teenage boy's nerves, but Luke glared at him.

"Don't you DARE to lecture me, Professor! I'm NOT in the mood!"

"Oh, please." Kiyomaro scowled at Luke, his arms crossed. "You're only a kid! How would you know the shit that Suzume has to go through? You're just only a kid playing detective!"

"To think you have the audacity when you're doing the same. It is no wonder why Miss Mizuno broke up with you."

"Watch your fucking mouth, Luke Triton!" Kiyomaro slammed his fist on the table, anger showing on his face. "I will NOT take slander from you, you goddamned brat!"

"Calm down, gentleman!"

Mariko quickly left the room and slammed the door behind her. She leaned against the wall, overhearing that top-hat man scolding Kiyomaro and Luke.

"Sorry about Luke," Marina walked out and closed the door. She gave Mariko an apologetic smile. "He is usually calm and collected.

"It's no wonder why Suzume befriended him," Mariko grumbled. "He reminded her of her ex."

"Wait, so Mr. Takamine and Miss Mizuno dated?"

"Yeah, they did. Please don't tell me Triton has a crush on my best friend."

"….He does."

"I fucking knew it. I hate when my instincts are always right."

"Poor Luke through. Miss Mizuno is older than him, and she isn't interested in romantic relationships right now."

"No shit. So, who is the man with the top hat?"

"Mr. Layton."

"Got it."

Mariko would have more time to explore the American city and learn more about Suzume's new friends and acquaintances once the situation was achieved.

'Least Suzume isn't alone,' Mariko smiled softly.

[clevermrclandestine]

LIFE UPDATE 0

Well, it's been a while. Dips in mood do that. My bad.

FAMILY Honestly, haven't seen 'em much. Feels good. The few times I have seen them, though, were great! I saw my mom last week when I did my laundry at her house (she always says "Oh, don't forget to bring ALL of your laundry this time! That includes your bedding."). Thank you, Mom. I appreciate you sharing your resources with the needy. She works from home one day a week which gives us time to catch up. I usually don't have much to update her on (I live a nice, boring life), but I always love to hear how she's been and what she's been up to. All that jazz. Had dinner with my two older sisters and their families including my three nephews as well as my dad and his family. It was a nice time. The service at the restaurant was slow as fuck, though. Exceptionally so, in fact. My thought was, "Wow, they must not have wages high enough to ensure competent, reliable workers. Fuckin' management." Having worked in food service for a significant portion of my life, there is little the staff can do other than their best. Aside from that, it was awesome getting to see my nephews talking and interacting with everyone at the table. To me, kids are useless until they start developing sentience. Then things start to pay off. Oh, Nova (my cat) is doing great! Still shedding like crazy, but I'm still willing to look past that. I got here a cheap toy from a thrift store down the road and that mother fucker doesn't even play with it! Like, come on! I'm really tryin', here. Kidding aside, it's nice having something to take care of. But a potted plant would be a lot easier… we'll see.

JOB SEARCH I am taking my mom's advice and looking for a long-term, chemistry-related job. After all, I went to school for chemistry. Been coming up with a cover letter (my first, actually) for whatever places near me are hiring. So far, I have one that has openings listed. Maybe I should just call the other places and inquire directly. A part of me thinks they would appreciate the effort, but another part thinks they would think I am wasting their time. Either way, I will do whatever I need to… things gotta' change.

MENTAL HEALTH No updates, really. Except that I have been getting "brain zaps" again which is odd given that I haven't missed any doses of Paroxetine. They only occur with lateral eye movements (No idea why. Don't ask me.) on some days. Overall, it isn't much of a concern. It's just interesting. Need a blood draw for a lithium level per request of my psychiatrist. Actually, a PNP: they're cheaper. You get used to needles over time. It hurts to say, but I need to stop ingesting political content. It just stresses me out. Also, some good news: I have been drinking less. A lot less. Now, just kick the nicotine and I'll finally be free… but let's be realistic.

PHYSICAL HEALTH Been running a lot. My version of a lot, anyway: 5 days/wk for >3mi @ ~8.5-9min/mi Was really proud of myself the other day when I went for 5 miles, but, shit, I was exhausted. Gonna have to take a break from running, though; shin splints, such bullshit. I guess my stationary bike should suffice, and if I don't build up my core strength then I will never reach my goal of a comfortable 5mi @ <8.5mi/min. That is why God invented situp benches. I'm kidding. People invented those. They also invented gods, now that I think about it. My diet has been leaner the past few weeks. Thank christ that I am not baking anymore. It's for my own good: I always eat whatever I decide to bake. And yes, it is always sugary, salty, and fucking delicious. So carbs are a no go for me, right now. I'll celebrate with a cheat day once I get below 170lbs… just 5 more pounds, mother fucker.

HOBBIES N' SHIT As the first line in this post suggests, I really haven't done many things I enjoy. Sure, I jot down the random ideas I have throughout the day, reorganize my papers and files, and read about the things I like. But I haven't been doing them consistently. Doing them has taken too much effort the past few weeks. Hell, I'm surprised I've been running as much as I have. I feel proud of it, sure, but… I don't know.

'Til next time.

CMC