#once again those books were never good you were just 10 and the fandom did all of the leg work

[pyreshe]

truly wild how many of us were gaslit into believing the world-building in h*rry p*tter was good.

[ophiespeaks]

i am, once again, crawling back to gravity falls. i’ve stayed out of the loop so i could explore thisisnotawebsitedotcom by myself, and here are some of my authentic discoveries: (I don’t know if any of these are even new, knowing the fandom you probably figured all of these out the day it dropped tbh)

-“SOOS” gives a document of how he and his gf are doing running the mystery shack, including a goat train that runs through the forest (i love them)

-“TADSTRANGE” gives an erotic bread montage, because why not

-“PINATA” gives an irl video narrated by bill of a little girl beating the shit out of a bill cipher pinata

-“EVENHISLIESARELIES” i was spoonfed this one but bill is astronomically down bad for ford and it’s literally canon??? “because winning made him feel special. and good god, did he want to feel special” bill cipher your gay is showing.

-“WADDLES” leads to a pig adoption website

-“SEASONTHREE” says season 2, “SEASONTWO” says season 1, and “SEASONONE” says season -1: anti-gravity falls.

-“PACIFICA” tells us that the northwests still keep tapestries of bill, perhaps they could/would have something to do with his return??? pacifica and a “friend” destroyed everything with bill’s triangle symbol on it though, she’s a real one.

-“PLATINUMPAZ” is a code you’re given discreetly upon entering the aforementioned “PACIFICA.” This document is written like fan fiction, but obviously it’s canon, and details pacifica’s experience following northwest mansion mystery. It’s a longer document but essentially pacifica SIKES bill cipher like the girlboss she is when he tries to make a dream deal with her.

-“PINES” just says “a good family tree” lmao

-“SIXER” case file on Ford’s hand, written by (?) someone in the us government, apparently even as far back as when the Stans were 18, the government was working on cloning, so there’s that. Also, Ford is a finger donor!

-“BLINDEYE” gives one of those eye doctor letter tests, VERY blurry. if there’s a code here my blind ass hasn’t been able to decipher it. EDIT: it’s not blurry when you first try it!!! if you click on it it becomes blurry and i no longer know what the letters are.

-“MATPAT” and “GAMETHEORY” matthew patrick i am in your walls. it’s a video of beloved internet dad, Matpat from the Theory channels, saying we’re on our own for this one. Mathew if you don’t make a retirement special when this is all over, spoon-feeding me the answers i will do something illegal. Also, one of the notes on his board seems to read “abigail northwest,” but it’s not a code you can enter, so i’m not sure what it means.

-“GRAVITYFALLS” says ‘never heard of it’, alex hirsch when i catch you alex hirsch

-“MABEL” adds stickers and stars to the screen, eventually saying ‘lab now fully mabelized’ they stay there forever even if you relog the website.

-“DIPPER” tells pine tree to stare at the page for thirteen hours. spamming it changes the note, telling dipper he’s getting closer, but eventually the whole thing blacks out.

-“STANFORD” and “FORD” brings up the same page as “SIXER”, they are one and the same after all.

-“MCGUCKET” and “FIDDLEFORD” link to Cotton Eyed Joe by Rednex

-“STANLEY” and “STAN” links to ebay listings of brass knuckles

-“BILL” links to a sesame street video from 1969, jazzy triangle meets a square square. BillFord canon??? meanwhile, “CIPHER” and “BILLCIPHER”leads to the wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence, or the eye that watches the work of mankind.

-“GIDEON” leads to a google search of sweat-resistant bolo ties

-“LOVE” opens a book called ‘the love triangle”, tapping on it starts an audiobook of the first page of this book, detailing the narrator falling in love with bill cipher in a romantic period-piece. 10/10, but too short. give me the whole book.

-“GOD” links to a video of an Axolotl swimming in front of a submerged bill cipher statue. upon entering “GOD” again, the video does not play, some of the other videos behave in the same way such as “MATPAT.”

-“BLENDIN” responds with ‘time agent lost and presumed incompetent’

-“WEIRD” plays a video of Weird Al Yankovic yelling about how he’s trapped inside of the computer, and he calls for bill to help him. imagine my shock and horror coming across this the vanilla way, by just trying codes until something happens.

-“WEIRDMAGEDDON” is a newspaper clipping that shows nothing happened yesterday, soos got his head stuck in a honey pot and promptly said ‘and i’d do it again.”

-“TOBYDETERMINED” leads to a google search of ‘restraining order’

-“ROBBIE” pulls up AIM messages between him and thomson, detailing their experience ghost hunting for bill because robbie thinks bill will have to grant them three wishes. included is a great drawing in camcorder style of them running away from an eldritch-looking bill. included, but seemingly not sent, are messages in the text box, and it seems we’re reading from thompson’s perspective. it vaguely alludes that bill may be operating inside of thompson??? erm what the sigma?

-“SKIBIDI” “RIZZ” “FORTNITE” and “GYATT” revokes ur life privileges, but “SIGMA” does nothing.

-“QUESTION” responds with ‘answer’ and vice versa.

-“SCIENTOLOGY” responds with ‘suppressive person detected,” don’t ask why i tried scientology, i was going through science-themed inputs and it came to me like a vision.

-“ALEX” and “ALEXHIRSCH” link to a google search of ‘flannel.’ alex hirsch is lumberjack???

-“JOURNAL 3” responds with ‘the journal for me.’

-“JOURNAL 2” responds with ‘the journal for you’

-“JOURNAL 1” responds with “the journal of fun”

-“SEX” “FUCK” “SHIT” and other curses gives a pop-up that says “not S&P approved, wash your mouth out with soap.”

-“WHOAREYOU” responds with ‘i could ask you the same question’

-“REALITY” responds with ‘is an illusion’

-“FBI” and “CIA” responds with ‘your webcam is on. we are watching.’

-“HOLOGRAM” responds with ‘universe’ and vice versa.

-“SCARY” gives a R.L Stine goosebumps knockoff called The Book Of Bill, with the tagline ‘can you survive the tri-strangler?’ and it seems like it should be an audiobook like the “LOVE” entry, but i can’t hear any audio.

-“THEBOOKOFBILL” responds with ‘hide it under shirt during pledge of allegiance’ ???WHAT???

-“MASON” brings up a note about anagrams, assuredly written in-part by Dipper. idk if mason is even canon i always just assumed it was tbh.

-“LIFE” responds with ‘life:72% complete. now loading death.’

-“DEATH” responds with ‘life’s goth cousin’

-“DADDY” “BABY” and “MOMMY” (listen i was trying anything that came to mind) responds with a pop-up of a baby-bill cipher in an ultrasound, and a message that says ‘congrats! guess what’s growing inside you right now? see you in nine months, papa!’ NEW SEASON IN NINE MONTHS CONFIRMED???? (/j) also— mpreg is gravity falls canon???

———

if i was alex hirsch, these are inputs i would add because i was SHOCKED they WEREN’T there:

-“4 8 15 16 23 42” inputting that into an old-style computer should yield some kind of easter egg. LOST was too big of a cultural phenomena for it to not be a secret code here.

-“CANDY” and “GRENDA.” alex you thought of skibidi but not MABELS ONLY TWO FRIENDS???

-“TWINS” seriously this is like the main thing that keeps repeating, even just linking to a wiki page would be rewarding.

-typing in cryptids should link to pages for them, at least. imagine my shock when i typed in “BIGFOOT” to no avail.

-“SEEYOUNEXTSUMMER” should’ve been an easy one tbh

-“PINETREE” “SHOOTINGSTAR” etc. could just link to the same thing as entering their respective names, like “DIPPER” and “MABEL” respectively.

-“HINT” should do something, even if it just tells you no.

-“?” having no results is bonkers

-��SANSUNDERTALE” would be really funny i think

-“THETRUTH” should respond with ‘is out there’

[cuddlepilefics]

Cursed Fall (Minsung witch AU)

Fandom: Stray Kids

Minho & Jisung

5 do better (angstober)

5 acorn, chestnut, pinecone (flufftober)

5 hot chocolate or tea (cozytober)

9 „don’t do that“ – „But…“ (flufftober)

10 self worth issues, pushing away a loved one, “you don’t need to earn this” (AI-less whumptober)

18 bewitched (flufftober)

27 curled up (angstober)

Prompts by: @flufftober @angstober @ailesswhumptober

Minho had always minded his own business when it came to interacting with the townspeople. A few centuries ago, nobody had minded living in close proximity with a witch, quite the opposite really. They knew they benefited from being on Minho’s good side because he was well studied in medicinal herbs and potions, so whenever somebody was ailing, the witch was a good call. As time passed and doctors eventually got better at their trade, Minho wasn’t as needed anymore and worried for their jobs, the doctors did their beat to ruin his reputation and encourage people to turn to ‘real medicine’. The only thing people considered the town’s witch good for were curses but despite all the rumors circulating, Minho never performed those. Life in town eventually became unbearable for him though, so he gathered his three cats, Soonie, Doongie and Dori, and relocated to a brick hut deep in the forest.

When Minho realized just how cliché it looked, the local witch hiding away in a hut in the forest, he laughed bitterly but at least nobody would bother him there. To make absolutely sure, no one would find his new home, he cast multiple protection spells and concealed the place from view. He had a lot of work to do to turn this place into a home but when he was done, he had fallen in love with his new home and he wasn’t alone after all. Soonie, Doongie and Dori had adjusted to their new life quite well, not affected by Minho’s concealment spells at all. They always found their way back home after roaming the forest. Soonie had made the rocking chair in front of the brick fireplace his typical spot, while Doongie favored the windowsill. Dori usually watched Minho from his spot perched on the bookshelf containing his oldest spell books. Minho had even placed a pillow up there, so Dori would be comfortable.

Sitting in his rocking chair by the fire with Soonie in his lap, Minho came to realize just how far he had come. Though it had been centuries ago, he still vividly remembered how he had begged for a slice of stale bread as a child after his father had abandoned him. He had been expected to either perfect his skills or hide away his magic completely but how could he learn when his teacher, his mother whom he had inherited his gift from, had been burned at the stake? As a child, still controlled by his emotions, how could Minho be expected to suppress his powers? It was impossible, something uncontrolled always happening once he got emotional and after many ‘do better’s, Minho found himself out on the streets.

He had improved his skills then, a small flame hovering in his palm the only thing keeping him from freezing. His first magic book had been a gift by a travelling merchant, who had seen something in the skinny boy that gave him pause. The rest of Minho’s collection had been acquired over the years once he had started selling simple potions and spells to make a living. Had he actually gotten as far as he thought? Sure, he had a roof over his head and three cats to keep him company by a crackling fire. There were enough plants in the forest for him to harvest and when he felt like it, he could visit to market in town wearing a disguise. It was a comfortable life, something Minho hadn’t dared dream of back when he was an abandoned boy out on the streets. Yet, he was once again hiding away because his gift made people uncomfortable, so things didn’t change as much as it had seemed at first glance.

Fall had come faster than Minho had anticipated, so he was shocked when he stepped out the door and was hit by a cold gust of wind. He pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders, freezing fingers gripping the wicker basket. It would probably be the last trip into town for a while, so he was determined to stock up on some things. He had learned to bake his own bread decades ago and flour was easy to store, so he’d grab a bunch of ingredients to prepare for winter. With the sky overcast and him being out soon after sunrise, it was still dim out and he was confident that nobody would recognize him. Besides, with the thin drizzle of rain, nobody would question him having his hood up, conveniently concealing most of his face.

In moments like this, Minho was especially grateful for his powers, the enchanted basket barely weighing him down despite him buying loads. He had sold a few herbal tea blends, nothing magical but honoring his knowledge nonetheless. This way, he could make just enough to trade and buy himself whatever he needed without raising too much suspicion, though his trips to town would get rarer as the seasons grew colder. Minho really hoped the rain would stop, so he’d be able to harvest some more wild herbs in the forest to dry and store for the winter. He liked having everything sorted ahead of time, it was reassuring to know he had everything he might need.

Once he was deep enough into the forest, so nobody would see him, Minho let go of his basket and it levitated next to him. Those were the small comforts of being a witch, he thought to himself, conjuring up a small flickering flame in his palm to warm his hands. His eyes scanned the forest floor in hopes of finding some plants that he could harvest on his way home without having to take a detour and get soaked, when he almost tripped over something. Minho needed a moment to realize that the tiny bundle he had almost stepped on was in fact an animal. A small squirrel, fur soaked by the rain, shivering as it curled up tighter to preserve warmth. Clicking his tongue at the pitiful creature, Minho squatted down and scooped the squirrel up. It was cold to the touch, stiffening at being lifted into the air. “It’s okay, little one”, Minho cooed, “Are you hurt? We’ll get you warmed up soon and then I can see what’s wrong with you.” If the animal wasn’t hurt, there was no reason for it to curl up where it lay, so Minho was worried but couldn’t do much while out here, opting to place the squirrel in a pocket of his cloak to shield it from the rain and take it back to his hut.

Minho couldn’t be bothered with his basket when he got home, leaving it by the door as he rushed to the small wooden table in the kitchen. Carefully peeling the squirrel out of his cloak, Minho held it in his cupped hands and his heart ached when it still shivered. “No, Dori, don’t”, the witch warned his ever-curious cat, “What are we gonna do with you, little one, hm?” He gently turned the squirrel in his hands, relieved to not find any blood on it. Focusing on warming it back, Minho bundled it into a warm scarf that still dangled from his coatrack before going to stoke the fire, so his hut would warm up. The tiny squirrel looked too fragile to approach it with one of his magical flames, he wouldn’t take the risk.

Once the fire was crackling nicely, Minho shaped the scarf into a small nest and left it on the mantlepiece, so the squirrel would have a cozy place to rest. Since he fancied a hot cup of herbal tea to warm up, Minho also poured some tea into a saucer and added a few drops of a vitalizing potion, placing it next to the nest, whispering: “Have some warm tea, yeah? We’ll have you back on your feet in no time. Oh, I didn’t introduce myself yet. I’m Minho. That’s Dori and over there are Soonie and Doongie. You don’t be afraid, they won’t hurt you. Should we come up with a name for you too? Hm, how about Han because you can fit into a single one of my hands?”

Minho slowly sipped his tea in between storing away his purchases, smiling when he glanced towards the mantlepiece and noticed that Han had stopped shivering. Han eventually found the strength to get out of the nest and lap up most of the potion-enhanced tea Minho had left for him. He had already looked tiny while curled up but when he finally uncurled, Minho noticed that he was emaciated. No wonder he had been freezing. It seemed Han wasn’t injured but far too weak to survive the fast-approaching winter. Maybe he had gotten hypothermic while foraging to create a food stash for winter. Clicking his tongue, Minho grabbed a handful of acorns from his cupboard and cooed: “You’re so skinny, Hannie. Here, you need to eat well, so we get you nursed back to health soon.”

Usually, he waited for winter to bake his trademark roasted nut cookies but they always comforted him when he was down because they were the first sweet treat he learned how to prepare back when he could first afford the ingredients. There had only been small adjustments over the centuries when some of the ingredients weren’t available anymore and new things were invented but they remained pretty similar and they were sinfully sweet, exactly what Han needed right now. Besides, Minho was feeling domestic now that he got another child to take care of. Soonie, Doongie and Dori would always remain his babies but they had become pretty self-sufficient, so he wasn’t too worried about them, unlike Han.

Humming a soft tune, Minho worked in the kitchen and it didn’t take long for the entire hut to fill with a sweet scent while white puffs of smoke rose from the chimney. He hadn’t kept too close of an eye on his pets, so he startled when he approached the mantlepiece and realized that Han was gone. Working himself into a panic, Minho searched the hut before glancing at Soonie curled up in the rocking chair by the fire. Always the caring one, Soonie had hopped onto the mantlepiece and collected the squirrel for cuddles. Nuzzled into Soonie’s fur, Han was almost completely concealed from view had Soonie not trilled at Minho to catch his attention. “Are you keeping Hannie warm?”, the witch chuckled, tickling Soonie under his chin before stroking Han’s head with one finger, “Thank you for taking care of him for me. Rest well, you two. We’ll have some nice cookies later.”

Doongie and Dori had eventually settled down too, though they kept their distance from the rocking chair. While the cookies were baking in the oven, Minho set about cooking a pot of pumpkin soup. Though he had a sweet tooth, he knew he couldn’t run on only sugar and needed something hearty to warm him from the inside. He loved both, cooking and baking but he couldn’t really be bothered with the cleanup. Being a witch certainly had some perks, Minho smirked as he watched the equipment wash itself over the sink and he only had to direct it to the right cupboards with a wave of his hand.

Quietly approaching Soonie and Han, Minho untangled the squirrel from Soonie and took him to the kitchen. “Did you have a nice nap?”, he whispered, carrying Han on one of his arms while checking the cookies on the cooling rack, “I made a sweet snack for you to regain your energy and some pumpkin soup for myself. The seeds are roasting over the fire with some of the chestnuts I collected a week ago, so we have enough food stashed for you too. Here, try one of the cookies.” Minho carefully broke the cookie into smaller bits and fed them to the squirrel, who hesitated at first before eagerly reaching for the next crumb, making Minho laugh. Picking up another cookie, the witch chuckled: “I’m glad you like them. They’re some of my favorites.” He tried a cookie himself before refraining from taking another with some struggle, reminding himself to eat some soup first. Sure, nobody would tell him what to do but he had also learned that no one would take them from him, well, Han now maybe but he could always make more.

Soonie, Doongie and Dori occasionally hunted in the forest and Minho supplemented their diet with dried strips of meat or smoked fish that he bought at the market, so he didn’t have to worry much about those three. He filled a bowl of pumpkin soup for himself and served Han two roasted chestnuts and a bunch of pumpkin seeds, making sure they had cooled down a little, though they were still warm when Han pounced on them. It was obvious that he hadn’t eaten in a while, his cheeks bulging at the large bites he took. Having been a starving child out in the streets too, Minho knew that there was no use in telling him that he could slow down, that there would be more and nobody would take it from him. Instead, he slowly added individual pumpkin seeds when Han was done, effectively getting him to slow down, so he wouldn’t make himself sick. “Let’s have one more cookie each before it’s time for sleep”, Minho smiled, breaking up one cookie for Han and slipping one between his lips before sealing away the rest in a tin.

The sun set early that night, earlier than Minho had expected, which was always weird around this time of year. He had kept Han on him for most of the evening, the squirrel apparently finding comfort in his presence but now that he felt ready to go to bed, he returned it to its nest on the mantlepiece. That way, Han would stay warm without Minho accidentally laying on him. He didn’t really worry about Han’s safety anymore because he knew his cats had accepted him and Soonie was taking care of him too. That was probably why he let himself fall into a deep sleep devoid of any dreams, like it had been for many decades already.

When Jisung awoke, his body ached all over but at least he wasn’t cold anymore. He found himself laying in front of a fireplace, the flames crackling softly, and it took a moment till he noticed the cat pressed against his side. “Are you Soonie?”, he asked hoarsely, voice cracking from not being used in so long. Looking down to see whether his body was as bruised as it felt, Jisung realized that all that covered him was his bushy tail and he weakly got to his feet. His knees felt funny at first and he stumbled almost falling as he took the first few steps. Eventually, he managed to get to the coat rack on trembling legs and wrapped himself in Minho’s cloak, subconsciously taking a deep breath. The witch’s scent had something soothing to it and it seemed to ground Jisung as he settled back down in front of the fireplace, absentmindedly running his fingers through Soonie’s fur.

Doongie and Dori eventually joined the two in front of the fire and Jisung was slowly piecing together where he was and what had happened. Everything was blurry still but he remembered Soonie and Minho, also warming up to Doongie and Dori once they approached him. To his surprise, he was barely bruised at all though he knew he had to have fallen off the mantlepiece and to the floor during his transformation. Luckily, he hadn’t fallen too close to the fire, his tail could easily catch. His stomach still growled and the sweet smell coming from the kitchen, where Minho had left the tin with cookies but Jisung didn’t dare grab one. He was already anxious thinking about Minho finding him in his human form. It had been almost a year since he had last been human anyways, so not like actually knew how to act like a normal human being around Minho.

The transformations weren’t under Jisung’s control, never had been since he had been cursed. They seemed to happen at random, though he was forced to spend more time in his squirrel-form. Him and his friends had always been a little mischievous but it seemed that Jisung had messed with the wrong person in his childhood and ended up turned into a squirrel. On the rare occasions that he changed back to his human form, he tried to survive in the woods, often spending the nights freezing and with terrible stomach cramps because he had had yet to learn which plants were edible and could be foraged and which would make him sick. As years passed though and Jisung turned into a young man, he knew exactly what he could eat and where he could find shelter while in his human form. Never did he come across Minho’s hut though, the spells too effective for him to see through.

Jisung didn’t even notice how he had started to pick at his tail, a nervous habit of his, till Soonie swatted at his hands. Heaving a shaky sigh, he let go and instead tried to inhale as much of Minho’s scent off the cloak as possible. It had been so long since he had last slept indoors, so he should treasure it as long as it lasted because Minho would undoubtedly kick him back out tomorrow once he realized that Jisung wasn’t what he thought he was.

Well, Minho was expectedly shocked when he sleepily shuffled into the kitchen to prepare his morning tea and found a stranger on the rug in front of his fireplace. He had put so much effort and magic in hiding his hut from view, there was simply no way someone could possibly come in there, yet someone was there. For a moment, Minho doubted being fully awake, even more so when he realized that the furry bundle around the man weren’t only his three cats but some of the fur seemed to belong to the man himself. Was that a tail?

As Minho stepped closer, he also spotted the tufted ears that blended in so well with his hair that he hadn’t noticed them at first glance. Backing away stunned, Minho snuck over to the shelf and carefully scanned over the assortment of books before pulling one out. He tried his best to be quiet as to not wake the creature. It had been decades since he had last glanced into this book, so it was considerably dustier than most of the others. Minho stifled two itchy sneezes into complete silence, nervously glancing over at Han, well, he thought that it was Han. There were only a few options that could explain the scene in front of him. One would be that Han was a shapeshifter, deliberately changing to lay a trap for him but shapeshifter were usually predatory animals and considering in how rough shape Han had been, Minho doubted he could’ve still controlled his transformations, so that was unlikely.

The other options were either a curse or him being born with very rare hybrid-genes. Both options were so rare, Minho had doubted he’d ever encounter them in his exceptionally long lifetime but one of them had to be the case because there was no doubt that the person with the bushy squirrel tail in front of his fireplace was in fact real. Minho had blinked and rubbed his eyes enough times to accept that he wasn’t just seeing things. Maybe Han would be kind enough to explain himself once he woke up. That brought Minho to problem number two, aside from a stranger in his hut. Said stranger was wearing his cloak, so he figured the transformation had left him rather exposed. Not wanting to make their introduction more uncomfortable and awkward than it absolutely had to be, Minho went back to his bedroom and grabbed warm woolen trousers and a knit-sweater for Han to put on.

For some reason, he didn’t find the heart to approach and wake Han, him snuggled up with Minho’s three cats just looked too cozy to be disturbed. Instead, the witch made some tea and added more wood to the fire as he waited for the other to wake up. Dori was the first to wake up, purring as he walked up to Minho and rubbed his head against the witch’s leg. Reaching down to pet Dori, Minho hummed: “What’s up with Hannie, hm? I don’t think he’s bad, you would’ve fought him if he was, right? Who is he and what is he?”

He didn’t have to wait all that long though, Jisung eventually stirring awake to Doongie nuzzling his cheek. “Good morning”, Minho smiled when the other sat up, his hair sticking in all directions. Visibly startling, Jisung whipped his head around to face Minho, his hands immediately reaching for his tail to pick at it. Clicking his tongue, the witch scolded: “Don’t do that. You’ll lose your fur.” – “But… How are you not mad?!”, the other stammered, hands trembling as he dropped them into his lap. “Well, I’m certainly confused, so if you could explain yourself that’d be lovely”, Minho shrugged, “Who are you?”

“Who am I?”, Jisung mumbled, more to himself than to Minho, “Who am I? …I am not- I am not… me.” – “No?”, the witch frowned, trying to make eye contact but Jisung desperately avoided it. Taking a seat on the floor too, so he wouldn’t be looking down at the other, Minho hummed: “There are some clothes next to you. You can go put those on while you try to figure it out.” – “I-I don’t need to figure it out”, Jisung whispered, “I know, I know who I am but it’s not who I used to be.” Taking a deep breath to brace himself, he continued: “My name is Jisung. I used to be a human boy but- I rarely get back my human form anymore.” – “So Jisung, I take that you can’t control it and you weren’t born like this…”, Minho concluded sympathetically, earning a small nod, “Were you ever cursed.” Another, even smaller nod.

He made Jisung get dressed properly, while he prepared breakfast for both of them, deciding they could figure things out over a meal. When Minho turned and spotted Jisung in his clothes, he chuckled: “Oh dear, you’re literally drowning in that sweater. It’s cute though.” The other couldn’t help but blush at the unexpected compliment. His stomach grumbled audibly and Minho ushered him to the table, serving a cup of tea and a steaming bowl of porridge. “Do you remember how you got here or how you ended up in the place I found you in?”, the witch asked softly, blowing on his porridge to cool it faster. Barely able to restrain himself till his food had cooled down a little, Jisung mumbled: “I think, I was foraging. Not sure. Was never really good at it but it was time to create a stash, now that seasons are changing. Maybe, I think I got dizzy. Happened quite a few times lately, so it’d make sense that I’d lay down for a moment and then it just got so cold and I was tired, so I think I just stayed there. ‘m not sure though, everything’s still hazy.”

Minho nodded in acknowledgement, deep in thought. “Do you know why you get dizzy?”, he frowned worriedly. Avoiding his eyes, Jisung admitted: “That happens sometimes when I go without eating for too long. It’s hard to create a stash and I didn’t find much, so I wanted to save everything for the winter and not eat it already. Not like it’d last through winter anyway but it’d run out even sooner if I ate part of what I’m collecting.” – “Sorry to say but you won’t need your stash if you don’t make it through winter because you’re already starving beforehand”, Minho scolded, he softened though when he noticed how uncomfortable the other looked.

They continued chatting for a bit and Minho served Jisung another helping of porridge, while the younger recounted how he had lived ever since being cursed. “You’re obviously going to stay with me this winter”, Minho decided, placing a cookie next to Jisung’s porridge bowl, “I mean, if you’d be okay with that, that is. There’s enough food stocked for the both of us and I got firewood to keep us warm. It’s just, I lived similarly to you for a very long time, minus the transformations. I am you, I see me in you and I would’ve loved, prayed even, for someone to find me, so no, I’m not gonna leave you behind out here in the woods.”

“Do you remember who cursed you?”, Minho asked as he pored over his spell book. Jisung sat in the rocking chair, petting Soonie, who had made himself at home in his lap. Running his fingers over the yellowed page, Minho explained: “I’m figuring the witch, who cursed you is still alive because your life expectancy is inevitably linked with theirs. Meaning, while the curse is on you, you’ll get older than any human being as long as the witch cursing you is still alive. On the downside, only they can remove the curse. I’ve never been a good spell-breaker but I would’ve tried if there was a chance, I could take it off you. I’m sorry, I can’t.” – “It’s okay, I didn’t think I’d ever live without it again. Can’t be disappointed if I don’t have any hope to begin with”, Jisung muttered, trying to keep his tone neutral and not let the witch hear the bitterness, “Didn’t think I’d get a longer life though, which seems to be the real curse. I don’t want a prolonged life if it means I’ll live like this.”

Soonie nudged him softly, a silent comfort, and he wrapped his bushy tail around the cat in return. Closing the book with a heavy sigh, Minho promised: “I’ll try to find out more and see if there’s anything I can do to improve your situation but for now, I don’t think this is getting us anywhere.” As if on cue, Doongie and Dori returned from their little breakfast hunt, satiated and content. They traded places with Soonie, keeping Jisung company, and had even brought him a little gift to cheer him up. Doongie went first, placing the pinecone at Jisung’s feet, which was then joined by the smaller one Dori held between his teeth.

Still weakened, Jisung eventually fell asleep again while Minho continued his research. He did come up with a few different options of altering the curse but neither of them sounded too appealing, though that would ultimately be Jisung’s choice. Minho was just glad that his cats had so readily accepted him into their little family because he’d have a hard time keeping someone around who his babies didn’t approve of.

Minho looked up from his books when he heard a distressed whimper. It seemed Jisung was having a nightmare, clawing at his ears in terror. Hurriedly making his way over to the rocking chair, Minho caught his hands and scolded: “Don’t do that, Hannie. It’s okay, you were just dreaming.” – “But…”, Jisung sobbed, pulling away. He fought his tears, picking at his tail, but failed. “Don’t do that”, the witch repeated, gently taking Jisung’s hands into his own. Hiccupping pitifully, Jisung pulled his hands from Minho’s and curled up tightly. The movement sent the chair rocking and after a few minutes of watching helplessly, occasionally nudging the chair, so that it’d keep rocking, Minho noticed the other’s breathing steadying. He got up and poured a cup of tea, stirring in a spoonful of honey. Quietly approaching Jisung with the steaming cup, Minho ran his fingers through the other’s hair and softly scratched the base of his tufted ears.

“Have some tea and let’s calm down, yeah?”, Minho whispered, handing Jisung the cup, sighing, “Oh, Hannie.” – “Why- W-Why are you- are you so nice to- to me?”, Jisung cried, wrapping his shaky hands around the cup. Giving him a sad smile, Minho cooed: “Why wouldn’t I be?” – “The last witch I met cursed me”, the boy sniffled, “But all you do is care for me. I did nothing to deserve your help or a place to stay or food and tea.” – “Han, listen to me, you don’t need to earn this”, Minho insisted. It took a while for the tears to finally stop completely and when they did, Jisung felt just as tired as he had before his nap. Though his people skills were a little rusty after all those years, Minho eventually jumped over his shadow and offered him a hug, which really seemed to do the trick.

Because sugar always soothed his nerves, Minho collected the nut cookies from the kitchen and settled down in front of the fireplace with Jisung in his lap. “Do you mind when I call you Han or Hannie or something like that?”, he asked quietly, offering the boy a cookie, “I mean, it’s not your name, just something I came up with without knowing you.” Innocently nibbling the treat, Jisung mumbled: “I actually love it. It was the first time someone addressed me in a very long time and I think it’s a nice nickname to go by.” – “I’m glad you do”, Minho smiled and pulled the younger closer against his chest, so he could rest his chin on top of his head.

Staring into the fire, Jisung wrapped his bushy tail around the both of them and breathed: “What are we going to do when I turn back into a squirrel all the way? I know it’s going to happen sooner rather than later, it always does, so….” – “What do you mean, what are we going to do?”, Minho frowned, brows furrowed. Jisung just shrugged, reaching for another cookie: “I’d love to have a friend, someone I won’t have to hide this secret from but….” – “And you think that I wouldn’t want to be your friend when you’re in your other form?”, Minho concluded, clicking his tongue, “You should know that it doesn’t change anything for me. I’d still love to have you here, we can still wait out the winter together and if you choose to roam the forest again in spring, that’s obviously up to you but I won’t have you freezing out there during winter or this cursed fall. You’ll always have a place to go now, no matter what form you’re in.”

A few days passed and Jisung remained in this in between state, not fully human but not a squirrel either. Minho knew he was risking a lot by not bringing up what he had learned from his book. It was something they’d need to talk about and they wouldn’t be able to talk once Jisung turned back but for some reason, he was nervous to. They had barely known each other for a few days but Minho knew if he wanted to talk this through and give the other a chance to express himself, he’d have to raise the topic soon as each day could be the last opportunity to do so. When they were once again curled up in the rocking chair in front of the fireplace together, Minho breathed: “Actually, I did learn a bit about curses and spells since I started to read more on them. You might not have to turn into a squirrel again.” – “What?!”, Jisung gasped, head shooting up to look at Minho, “And you’re telling me only now?” – “Sorry”, the witch mumbled sheepishly, “It’s not as amazing as it may sound at first.”

Taking a deep breath to sort his thoughts, Minho sighed: “I could keep you from turning into a squirrel but I won’t be able to turn you back to a human being either. What I could do, is to preserve the state that you’re in right now. Mostly human but your ears and tail would remain. It’s more or less another curse to freeze you in time and thereby override the previous curse that has been put on you. It’d be linked to me, so it should last for as long as I live or until I choose to remove it. You would not be able to return to society because I doubt, you’d be able to hide those features, so it’d still make you an outcast. Of course, you’re still welcome to stay with me afterwards, so you won’t have to worry about where to go but it’s not really a remedy for your situation.”

“Yet it is more than I ever hoped for since that day”, Jisung breathed after a moment of silence to let Minho’s words really sink in. Once again picking at his tail to soothe his nerves, he mumbled: “Is it going to hurt?” – “If everything goes right, it shouldn’t”, Minho denied, taking his hands to stop him. “Would you actually do that for me?”, Jisung asked hopefully, glancing up at Minho with unshed tears in his eyes. Gently cupping his cheek, the witch whispered: “If that’s truly what you want, then yes. It should not be a split-second decision though.” – “But what if I don’t have time to think on it? What if I turn in a day or in an hour even?”, Jisung worried, “I’m sure that it is what I want.”

Not wanting to risk missing their chance, Minho tore himself away from Jisung and started to set up everything he’d need, while the other anxiously nibbled the remaining cookies and petted the witch’s cats to keep somewhat calm. He watched Minho wearily as he rummaged around and accepted the cup of tea he was handed, though he easily figured that it was spiked with some type of potion by the way it bubbled inside the cup. Jisung didn’t know why he trusted Minho, why he’d drink a potion that nobody told him what it would do or why he’d willingly let himself be cursed. There was no reason he should trust a witch but ample reasons why he shouldn’t, yet he didn’t feel like he had anything to lose and for some reason, Minho seemed different. Minho seemed kind.

Figuring that he’d only scare Jisung more if he announced what he was doing, Minho confirmed one last time that the boy was sure that he wanted it and while pretending to still be setting everything up, mumbling to himself, Minho started the incantations. Jisung felt that something was happening but he couldn’t discern whether it was magic or his own nerves making his heart and tummy feel fluttery. Only when a tingling warmth washed over him and he suddenly felt really calm and at ease, did he realize that something had in fact happened. “What…?” – “This is it, Hannie”, Minho hummed, “It’s done. I hope you won’t regret this.” Getting to his feet, Jisung rushed over to Minho and hugged him tightly, his tail tickling the other’s neck. Burying his face against Minho’s shoulder, Jisung beamed: “Thank you.”

Minho adjusted surprisingly well to having another person around him at all times, despite having considered himself a loner and fond of his space for as long as he could remember. He hadn’t thought that he had been missing something or someone until he met Jisung. They grew close in little to no time and Jisung did not regret his decision, eventually even accepting his ears and tail. He had hated them at first but Minho seemed to find them cute and made sure to compliment him a lot. Fall slowly turned to winter and the two spent many evening in front of the fireplace, cuddling and getting to know each other better. Jisung started to read some of Minho’s old books while cuddling Soonie, Doongie and Dori to learn more about the other’s knowledge and background.

When the first snow fell, Minho approached Jisung with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and smiled: “Hannie, do you wanna learn how to bake the world’s best nut cookies? I refined the recipes over centuries and I’m really carving something sweet right now.” – “Yes please”, the other pleaded, accepting the hot drink. Those cookies had been the first treat he had gotten in ages and they’d forever remind him of the open arms Minho had welcomed him with and the hope he had found.

[astridthevalkyrie]

do you actually agree that fics depicting child r*pe should be allowed? do you not think that having media as that so accessible can de damaging? like i’m actually seriously asking not trying to give attitude

sorry i just pulled an all nighter so if this sounds incoherent it's because i haven't slept for the past 22 hours. thank you for seriously asking and not giving attitude lol

it's not about what i think should or shouldn't be allowed. fics depicting that aren't exactly my cup of tea. i don't read them, i don't write them. but authors are going to write dark content, whether that be fanfic authors or published ones. i've written dark stuff that might be totally fine with one person, but not fine with another. your local library might have stuff that makes the worst of ao3 look tame. dark content has existed and will always exist. the problem is, as that post put it, is saying authors can't or aren't allowed to write disgusting things means that now anything anyone dislikes can be labeled a disgusting thing. the slippery slope of authoritarianism.

there are published books that i would never ever want a child to accidentally happen upon, but it is the job of their parents to monitor what their kids are getting access to, the job of the librarians or booksellers to organize things in a way where it's not just open and easy for kids to read. the same thing applies with fics, it's parents' jobs to monitor their child's internet activity, and saying that children can access something is not a good enough reason to say that it means that the writer should never have brought it into existence.

fic writers have a responsibility to tag their fics and if you see someone incorrectly tagging (if you're on ao3 PLEASE be aware that "no archive warnings apply" is very very different from "author chose not to use archive warnings") or it's purposely misleading to get people to click and be traumatized, then yeah, in that case, it's absolutely the author's fault. send in a report!

but if a person as an adult sees warnings, registers them, reads the fic that has exactly those warnings, and then proceeds to say the author shouldn't have written it....it's just so much effort for a mistake on the reader's part. fic is about making yourself happy. why are you reading things that make you upset?

i was 13 or 14 when i joined tumblr. i was 10 or 11 when i started reading fanfic. at that time i barely saw minors dni stuff. i read smut, including dark fics and art that absolutely left me scared to sleep at night. not once did i ever tell the author they were at fault for writing it. i knew what i was about to read. i knew what i was consuming. it was on me and me alone (and i suppose my parents for not monitoring my internet activity). i have two younger sisters who both read and write fic. they weren't online for ff.net and they don't go on wattpad. their fanfic experience is almost entirely ao3 and the first thing they do when they go into a character or fandom tag is take out tags they don't like.

and i'm not naive. they have both most certainly read fics that they shouldn't have read. teenagers always do. i obviously did. very few teens see a minors dni and actually just stop reading the fic. but again—if the author has done their due diligence, on sites that are not meant for kids (tumblr and ao3 both), sites where freaks were promised to be allowed to be freaks, they are not responsible for minors who come into their space.

so that's one part of the argument. the other is the debate over whether writing fictional dark content makes someone as bad as actually participating in that dark content. this is an age old debate. the first time it got really big after i joined tumblr was around the time voltron 2016 came out, when people were being called pedos for shipping shiro and keith. it's gotten much worse since tiktok has become a thing. there are other people who have talked about this and explained it better than me, you can delve into the tags for "anti" or "anti anti" or "proship/antiship" or whatever it's called now.

but calling someone who ships, say, eren and levi in aot, a pedophile, is absolutely off the walls insane. first off, a loooot of people shipping age gap or adult/minor relationships are very likely to be minors themselves. secondly, it absolutely diminishes the meaning of the word. it's the same thing with incest. i've seen people say that shipping characters who are best friends is the same as incest. it's.......not. and you might think, well, yeah, that one's ridiculous, but the stuff that i'm arguing against are legitimate. and i get it. but like i said before, slippery slope. people equating someone's fictional interests to them as a person spells a very bad future for fandom.

i think a lot of this started when people were like "oh your ship is just the character you relate to and the character you have a crush on." and i'm begging people to realize that is not the case at all. a ship can be that, but it can also be "their color palettes compliment each other." it can be "they never interacted but i think they'd be interesting to see together." it can be "oh that makes a hot pair." it can be "oh this would make both characters miserable and i love it muwahahaha."

so just. please reserve the word pedophile for real-life-harming-children-and-minors pedophiles. not for people who write about fictional characters engaging in morally dubious or criminal acts. they are not the same level of crime. i think people need a reminder about why pedophilia is bad—it's because it harms children and minors, not because it disgusts us. and incest is an even more tricky subject when it comes to fiction so i'm not going to delve into it, but in the same vein, fictional incest ≠ actual incest.

i wish i had blogs to recommend that could explain this better, but you're better off just going through the tags (and anything you can find on fandom and specifically fanfic history) because my brain is super fried. and since i am not an expert i'd like to not answer more questions about this, i'm a bit too old and tired for the anti vs anti anti debate, thanks. i hope this helped 👍🏽

[claire8216]

Fic Tag Game

Thanks @fandomscraziness22 for the tag!! 🩵

How many works do you have on AO3? 10! My page says 7 but I have some I've published anonymously.

What's your AO3 word count? 122,718

What fandoms do you write for? It's been a while since I've posted anything but when I do find the motivation to write it's usually Julie and the Phantoms, Outer Banks, or The Summer I Turned Pretty! I've written some for other fandoms too but that was a looong time ago haha.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (Not including the ones I'd like to remain anonymous 😉) - Fire Red and Ocean Blue (TSITP) - I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You (JatP) - Been Counting My Blessings Thinking This Through (OBX) - Something Like That (JatP) - I'm Standing in Your Line (I Do Hope You Have the Time) (JatP)

Do you respond to comments? I really try to respond to every comment, even if it takes me a while to respond! I genuinely appreciate people who take the time to not only read my writing but also share with me their thoughts, so the least I can do is respond back 😊

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oof in general I usually stick to happy endings so there hasn't been a ton of angsty endings! But I once wrote a fic exploring a character navigating the aftermath of the sudden death of his wife. It ends with him bonding with a woman in a bar who had also lost her husband, and they dance together and while it's nice to have some sort of companionship again, there's an unspoken agreement that nothing and no one would ever compare to their late spouses. (Based off the song Ghost of You by 5SOS, specifically the last line!) I don't usually write major character deaths, and I actually ended up taking that one down because it was too sad for me haha.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The rest of my fics pretty much all have HEAs because at my core that's what I enjoy most haha. But my favorite and probably fluffiest ending is Fire Red and Ocean Blue.

Do you get hate on fics? I don't remember ever getting any hate! *knock on wood*

Do you write smut? What kind? I do not, but I always enjoy reading a good smut fic!

Do you write crossovers? No, but I love AUs or fics based off of other books/shows/movies!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Also no haha.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I've attempted to, a loooong time ago when I was first getting into fanfic. Nothing ever came of it though, we were both, like, 12 so it fizzled haha. I have no idea where that person is today but I hope they're doing well!!

What WIP would you like to finish, but doubt you ever will? Back when s1 of Outer Banks came out I started working on a Jiara one night stand fic and got about halfway done. I still think about it often, but too much has happened in s2 and 3 it just wouldn't make sense anymore and I'd basically have to start from scratch.

What's your all-time favorite ship? This is a tough one! My oldest and most beloved ships will always be Romione and Percabeth. But no ship has ever, and may never again, have me in a chokehold quite like Juke did during the height of my JatP hyperfixation. So one of those three! 😂

What are your writing strengths? Ooo I love a good theme or motif or analogy and bringing everything back around full circle. It makes my little perfectionist virgo brain very happy haha.

What are your writing weaknesses? Sometimes I'll rush through the little details just to get to the main plot points. I constantly have to remind myself to slow down, a sort of "stop and smell the roses" if you will, and set the scene or create unique little character details to make my fics more descriptive.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in a another language for a fic? If it's needed it's needed! I usually will copy/paste and look up the translation if I need to.

First fandom you wrote for? Glee haha. I used to be OBSESSED.

Favorite fic you've ever written? I feel like this answer changes depending on my mood haha. Right now I think it'd have to be Been Counting My Blessings Thinking This Through, but that could totally be recency bias haha. I am very proud of it though!

What fic would you want to rewrite someday? I wrote this PJO (Tratie) fic called Rivers about 10 years ago and to this day the idea behind it is probably one of my favorite ideas I've ever had for a fic. When I reread it now, I can't help but see the writing of a 15 year old girl who had no idea what she was talking about and was unable to execute it in the way I wanted to in my mind haha. I always tell myself I'm going to rewrite it, and maybe with the show coming out soon, it'll inspire me to!

This was so fun!! Tagging @story-courty @bex2313 and @writerownstory and anyone else who wants to participate!

[demona-andariel]

A Simple Act of Kindness - 10 / ??

Fandom: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface) x OC

Summary: Elizabeth wakes up in a stranger's home. Her fate to become another victim of the Hewitt family is all but sealed till a simple act of kindness changes her life forever.

Warning: (Encompassing the whole story in no particular order) dead dove, rape/Noncon, violence, forced marriage, kidnapping, cannibalism, explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, angst

Author Note: Minors DNI!

Word Count: 3,224

Chapter 10 - The Basement

Elizabeth paced back and forth in her room. Her nerves were at an all time high. Thomas was difficult to read, to understand. His unwillingness, or perhaps inability, to speak made it impossible to have a conversation. He understood her, clearly answering her questions with nods or shakes of his head. But, she had to work hard to figure out what he wanted or how he felt. He, in turn, worked hard on figuring out sex with her. 

There was really only one thing she knew he wanted. He wanted children. It would ultimately secure her if she did get pregnant. Keep her forever safe being the mother of his children. Children. That was a scary thought. Thomas would make a good father, oddly enough. He was protective and kind to those he cared about. Maybe a little over protective. But, she knew his mother and uncle still had a strong grasp on him. Elizabeth could see Luda Mae easily undermining her. And she wouldn’t be able to keep her children from not seeing Hoyt. She shivered at the thought of having a little girl. Although, at the same time, she couldn’t imagine Thomas being alright if Hoyt did anything to his daughter.

Elizabeth stared at the floor for a moment. She didn’t want a daughter. What she wanted was a little boy. She felt like she understood boys a little bit more, having taken care of her brother for part of his short life. A little girl… from what Elizabeth had gone through, she didn’t want her daughter to have to deal with anything like that. 

She absentmindedly rubbed her wrist. Children were a future problem. Her IUD was still in and the chance of getting pregnant was still pretty slim. She looked down at her wrist, she really wanted her things. A couple of items had popped up in their room, items she knew didn’t belong to the Hewitts. The jewelry that she found she couldn’t wear. It was wrong. But, she liked the books. It just gave her hope that her own belongings were somewhere, perhaps in the basement. But asking him, it made her nervous. The problem was, she didn’t want to feel like she owed him something for returning her items.

“You can do this, Elizabeth,” she muttered to herself. “Worst thing that can happen is him not having them.” She stared at her wrist. The worst that could happen was heartbreak. If he had gotten rid of all her items it would hurt. The only thing she truly wanted was a charm bracelet. It was a gift from her brother and something she normally never took off. Unfortunately, she had gotten it caught and accidentally broken it three days before finding herself in Texas. For safe keeping, she had left it in her luggage, along with her small photo album, another item she desperately hoped was still around. 

She didn’t want to mope around. Her change of mood and being more calm had in turn calmed Thomas down as well. They were in a “good” place for now. She wanted to keep it that way. 

She deeply inhaled then exhaled. “Prepare yourself for disappointment,” she whispered to herself. She had to know. And unfortunately, a small part of her hoped. Yeah, she was going to mope if she didn’t get back those two items.

 Gathering up her courage, while also attempting to steel herself for disappointment, she walked out of the room. 

“Thomas?” she asked as she headed down the stairs. Once again, the house was empty. Although, not like last time. Luda Mae was somewhere outside and the other uncle was in his room. It was really only Hoyt who was truly gone.  But, that wasn’t unusual for him. The family were comfortable enough to not expect her to try and run away, allowing her to feel more free with her movements.

She walked down the hallway, hoping that maybe Thomas would appear by the kitchen, or somewhere else. “Thomas?” she called out. No answer. She paused in front of the basement door. 

Did Thomas have someone down there now? Were her things down there? It seemed like the only logical conclusion that whatever items she owned and that they had taken from the car were down there somewhere. Her heartbeat picked up as her brain brought up the terror, embarrassment, pain and fear she felt when Thomas raped her in front of Jason. The same location where she murdered her travel companion to spare him more suffering. She had actively avoided looking at the door any time she was near it, even quickening her pace whenever she walked by it. 

Dare she open the door and walk down there? Her heart pounded in her chest at the thought. 

The door knob twisted before she could gather her courage to do it herself. She didn’t move as it swung back, her eyes saw the darkness first before Thomas. His own widened and he moved his head back, startled that she stood there. His human mask was a little bit different. Did he change it? It was hard to tell, since she rarely saw it. He did his best to leave it off whenever she was around. But, he clearly was most comfortable wearing it. 

“Is anyone down there?” she asked. Her voice was stronger than she expected.

There was a moment of silence as his eyes seemed to study her for a moment, before he slowly shook his head. Swallowing hard, she reached out and touched his arm. 

“Will you show me?” 

He jerked back with surprise at her request. His brow furrowed. He finished walking up the stairs and stood over her. Tilting his head to one side, he leaned down and cupped her face, eyes filled with concern as he studied her. She didn’t say anything, didn’t move or lean back despite how uncomfortably close his human mask was to her face. Her request even surprised her, but she couldn’t show him that. 

He rose back up then glanced down the stairs. With another questioning look, he held out his hand to her. She didn’t hesitate as she took it and let him lead her down the stairs. 

Face your fears. 

He agreed that there wasn’t anyone down there, and for their sake she hoped he wasn’t lying. But, she needed to see the basement again. She needed to know and face it. And maybe, just maybe, she’d find her belongings.

She let his hand go the moment her feet hit the concrete. She could sense him watching her with interest as she walked past him. Her jaw clenched and her breathing deepened a moment when she spotted the table he’d roughly fucked her against mere weeks ago. Gently, she placed her hand on the edge, running her fingers along the cold metal. Her body trembled despite her best efforts to remain calm. Such a bad memory, and yet it seemed so distant almost as if it happened a lifetime ago.

Tearing her eyes away from it, she pushed her body forward. The red stained metal hooks where Jason once hung hadn’t been moved, but there was no body on them. Had she eaten him? Probably. Although, Hoyt did claim she’d spoiled the “meat”. But, she couldn’t put it past them to lie to her, because they were by omitting the fact they were feeding her human meat. It wasn’t hard to taste the difference, notice the texture, food with meat versus food without was very different. Oh God, she was a horrible person. But, she was tired and done with fighting them. They won this battle. Fuck, they’d won every battle so far.

A large white fridge was in a corner of the room, most likely storing human flesh. Why couldn’t they be normal cattle farmers or something? 

Her eyes slowly wandered the room. Chains, hooks, wooden beams, leaking pipes, and broken furniture, the basement was a mess. Something, she hadn’t noticed her first time down there. But then again, there were other things she had been focusing on. It was a torture dungeon. A place she would have spent an unknown amount of time in, slowly dying till they ultimately killed and ate her had she not been kind. Had Thomas not taken an interest in her. 

There was definitely more to the basement. She could see corridors and other dark areas that could be explored. So much to explore. It seemed to go on quite a bit. Did it lead to the outside somewhere back there? She wasn’t sure, and there wasn’t a reason to figure out and know. She wasn’t going to escape. Her only hope was being found, being rescued.

A workbench caught her attention and she walked over to it. Her fingers carefully examined a chainsaw, running along the large body before hovering over the blades. What did he use that for? She swallowed hard. She’d never heard it being used before, but there was a forest nearby. He’s not cutting down trees, Elizabeth, she scolded herself. Such a cruel and grotesque way to kill people. The Thomas she was growing to know seemed drastically different from the Thomas who butchered people. But at the same time, what he did to Jason was cruel and grotesque. 

Moving past the chainsaw, she grasped a mallet, picking it up. She playfully pressed it against the palm of her hand. Heavy and firm, a perfect device to bludgeon someone. Setting it down, she ran her fingers along a few other tools before finally ending on a knife. It was the one she’d used to kill Jason. 

Thomas’s presence was strong as he positioned himself behind her. Undoubtedly, he was worried about her hurting herself. But, she ignored him, picking up the knife to examine it. It had gone through Jason smoothly in the end. There was no blood on it, meaning Thomas must have cleaned it. But of course he did. That was weeks ago. And judging by the look of the blade it had been sharpened. In fact, all the tools he kept around seemed to be in great condition, unlike the basement. 

She heard him hold his breath as she ran a finger delicately on the flat edge of the blade. It was rather amusing that he was worried she’d hurt herself. She made it seem that she was going to cut herself just to toy with him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him reach for her. She set the knife back down as casually as she picked it up and moved away from him.

Her eyes searched, but she didn’t find any sign or piles of items that belonged to their previous victims. “Do you keep their stuff?” she asked as she turned to look at him. She knew the answer, she just needed to have him say it. Much to her relief, he had taken off his human mask. He shifted his stance uncomfortably, but didn’t answer. 

She opened her mouth then closed it. There was no way around other than asking him. She absentmindedly rubbed her fingers over her right wrist. Ask him, Elizabeth! 

Something fell in the background and they both turned, although there was no urgency. She didn’t feel like she was in danger, she didn’t feel a presence. Maybe it was an animal? A rat? Thomas didn’t look alarmed. Didn’t look like he was worried she’d figured out he’d lied and there was someone down there. But, she didn’t see Thomas as a liar.

Thomas returned his attention to her. She couldn’t do it. The thought that he’d shake his head if she asked if he had her stuff just hurt too much. Taking in a deep breath she touched his arm. “Thank you.” She didn’t wait for him to say anything and walked upstairs. 

If he still had her things then he would have given them to her already. She had to believe that. There was no reason not to at this point. She wasn’t going anywhere. She was willingly fucking him, not complaining, not fighting back. And, although she hated admitting it, she was enjoying herself. What a life. 

She left the basement door open since she heard him walking up behind her. She didn’t keep going, instead she stopped and waited as he closed the door behind him. The clicking of the latch hitting the plate seemed to seal shut that part of the dreadful house. For now. Ignorance is bliss. She had to survive, she didn’t want to go crazy. And unfortunately, that meant not thinking about random strangers who shared the same fate as Jason.

“I don’t want to know,” she stated, when he finally turned to look at her. “This one thing, I want you to lie to me about. Don’t-” she paused as she felt a strain in her throat. He understood what she wanted, at least, she hoped he did. Taking in a deep breath she quickly let it out, forcing a smile to cross her face. “It’s nice, isn’t it? Having the house be so quiet?” The change of subject was easy although clearly forced. But, she was done thinking about the darkness. 

His mouth twitched, then he shook his head. 

“Don’t like quiet, huh?” she asked. 

He nodded his head, making her giggle. He took a few steps forward, then peered down at her. His hand reached out and lightly brushed her cheek, before he pulled it back. 

“Thank you,” she said, making him cock his head to one side. “For taking care of me, when I was sick last week. I don’t think I ever said it. You didn’t have to. So, thank you. And for the books you’ve been giving me. I don’t-” she paused and looked down at the floor before back up at him. “I’m okay with the books. I don’t want anything else that’s not new.” She hoped he understood her meaning. Just, saying the word “Victim” it hurt to think about. 

Clearing her throat, she tossed her head back. “I would like to go out sometime. Maybe just the two of us? It would be nice to get out of the house. Of course, not in this hot weather. Does it ever get cold around here?”

He shook his head.

“Of course it doesn’t,” she said, turning her back to him as she walked away. She let out a surprised cry as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. 

Her body twirled into his, and he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her against his own. Her eyes widened in surprise as his lips smashed into hers. There was a desperation in his kiss, in his breathing that she quickly matched with her own. 

Alright, Thomas, alright.

He sat at the edge of the bed, slipping on his shoes before glancing back at her. She let out a content sigh and curled up under the sheet. She was such a gorgeous creature and all his. Completely now. He was still careful, he had to be. Such a delicate being. She felt so fragile in his arms as if he could break her. The more he thought about it, the more amazed he was at her own strength. Especially after what he'd done to her.

Seeing her happy made him happy. He watched her carefully, learning what he could. She didn’t really talk about her old life much… old life. He wanted to know more about it, but he couldn’t ask her. So he had to make due with watching her, studying her personality now that she was more relaxed. There had been a significant change in her demeanor, enough to ease everyone. Would she try to escape? He doubted it, but he still kept a careful eye on her, on her mood. 

Today she surprised him. she had gone down into the basement. It didn’t escape his attention how she avoided it at all costs. He couldn’t exactly blame her. What he did to her down there, he knew it wasn’t right. But he’d never ask for forgiveness. It lead them to where they were now. And he loved their current situation. 

He didn’t want to take her down there, worried about how she would react, but he did. Her careful examination of his workplace was interesting. Watching her fingers move carefully and delicately as they did, he wanted to grab them and kiss them. He knew she wasn’t, but he felt as if she was blessing his tools with the way she touched them and handled them.

He wanted to fuck her down there. Give her a better memory than what she had. It was his room, his workplace, his peace and quiet, despite the screams and pain of his victims when they were down there. It was his pride and joy and he wanted her to like it, to accept that part of him. But, she probably wouldn’t have appreciated it. So, he sat back and watched her. 

It was the moment that she picked up the knife, the one he knew she’d used on her traveling companion, that he slightly panicked. What if he read her wrong? What if she intended to kill herself? After all he’d gone through to win her over? Her fingers, so close to cutting themselves with the sharp blade. He had to move closer just in case. Before he could take it away from her, she had placed the knife back down and walked way. Without her notice, he quickly hid it, just in case.

It was her searching eyes, the tone of her voice that made him realize she was down there for a specific reason. He thought he had been discreet in leaving items of his various victims in their room for her to find. But she had clearly put two and two together. She wanted her things. He didn’t want to give them to her. He still had them, safely stored away so that no one could mess with them. He used to go through them in the early days, especially her photo album. Staring at the images of the people she knew, how happy her life seemed like, of her brother, it made him jealous then. He had entertained the idea of giving them back to her, before he started to gift her the other items. But, what if that brought back her fighting spirit? Her rebellious nature? Or the sadness and loss of her old life? He didn’t want that. Her life was with him now. She was happy. She was laughing.

Thomas leaned in and gave her cheek a kiss. She smiled and patted his arm. 

“I’m going to nap,” she muttered and turned her back to him. 

Staring at her back, he smiled. She was happy with him and he was happy with her. He needed to show her. And not just with sex. He needed to do something else.

He walked out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. She mentioned wanting to go somewhere. He rarely left the house, there was no need. But now, he wanted to. Take her somewhere new just to see her reaction. Just the two of them. But where? An idea formed in his head. Oh yes, he rather liked his idea. A surprise, a pleasant one. He couldn’t wait to see how she’d react. 

Chapter 11 - The Gas Station

[beyourownanchor6]

Lol you are right, we keep coming back!

Oh it definitely got weird. And they tried to integrate it with the cwtv multiverse and it got even weirder because of spoilers but basically in integrating it they contradicted events of the original series

Lmao the ending of arrow was so bad. The ending of Supergirl made it impossible for Superman and Lois to take place in the same universe because she fucked up the bag. Legends got canceled without any ceremony and it ended on a cliffhanger. Black Lightning was great but it also ended too soon. The ending of The Flash was very disappointing. Basically nobody stuck the landing.

Oh god i wish i could forget the school shooting episode. It wasn't even traumatic (and i'm saying this as someone who survived two separate Activr Gunman Situations in junior high and high school), it was just bad. And i never saw that episode of one tree hill (i only watched a handful of episodes, i was firmly a The OC kid), what was that like? And you're right, they probably wanted to steer clear of the controversy.

OMG I FORGOT VENOM WAS MARVEL 😂😂 Yeah, Symbrock is also one of my ships. I don't care for deadpool but i do like spideypool. Also MattFoggy from Daredevil (my absolute favorite marvel hero).

Omg same. My goal is at least 12 books in the year and to cut down half of my Read Later from AO3. I wanna get through the buddie backlog so i can get into BuckTommy, and i do wanna get back into Sterek. Also you definitely got time to read 10 books! Good luck!

Okay, glad i'm not annoying you. I worry about that sometimes. Lol honestly the readmore is a good move, wish i could do it on asks too. I think i'm gonna stick to asks for a bit cause i love that i have a tag on your blog, but in the near future i'll switch to DMs.

it’s a hellsite, but it’s our hellsite? something like that 😅

the cw multiverse sure was…something wasn’t it? they were definitely reaching with a lot of those episodes and storylines.

i’ve erased it from my memory it was so awful 😂 i tried to watch supergirl twice and ending up quitting it both times; thankfully didn’t come back a third. omg legends! that show was sooo good the first couple of seasons, then they got rid of half the main cast and then it became the reject show. they truly had no idea what to do with it. i never watched black lighting; tried to stay clear of more of those shows after all the others lol. i also stopped the flash before the last couple of seasons bc it was becoming like arrow and i wasn’t going through that again lol. they were definitely all—something lol.

oh wow, that’s intense. sorry you had to go through that; that’s so awful. the oth one was definitely intense. i think a big part of it had to do with how it affected the storyline as a whole, but the way they put it together was definitely very haunting. it’s ironically one of the best episodes i do believe. i also love me some oc. i’ve been thinking of rewatching that one lately lol.

venom my most beloved! ngl a lot of that could have to do with tom hardy 🤣 but i do love the character as well! i can’t wait for the new one. i’ve seen a lot of people are into spideypool but it doesn’t speak to me i guess lol. loveeee daredevil. i miss when all the marvel netflix shows were a thing ngl lol

i got my marked for later down to 4 or 5 pages? so ig i have that going for me 😅 my problem right now is that i’m wanting to read for multiple fandoms and my buddie brainrot has kinda disappeared, so now my marked for later is stuck. i did buy 2 new books today, so there’s hope! good luck on both your goals! there’s still lots of time left this year!

no, not at all! if i don’t reply right away its bc i either don’t have beans atm or i just don’t have the attention span, so once the notification disappears (if it even comes) its out of sight out of mind lol. but definitely not annoying me ever! i love giving people their own little tags 😎

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

[lucemferto]

Niki Nihachu & Barbara Kean

Gonna drop something controversial real quick.

Niki Nihachu is the most tragic character on the Dream SMP – and I don’t mean in the sense of her having a tragic story (though she is up there), but in the sense that she is tragically mishandled.

I want to start out by saying that this essay is by no means an attack on the content creator Niki Nihachu or her abilities as a performer. She is frequently one of the strongest actors on the SMP and I have no idea how much of her character writing was within her power. How much of it was improv, how much pre-planned, how much something she genuinely wanted to do and how much stuff she just stumbled into or – in the worst-case scenario – was forced upon her. I don’t know.

The Dream SMP is not very transparent when it comes to their creative process. As such I can only judge it as a discerning viewer and English major dropout, who retained some half-remembered stuff about narratology.

So, a few weeks ago, I tumbled on here that Niki’s character journey reminded me a lot of the character Barbara Kean from the hit TV-show Gotham. Then I got an ask asking me to elaborate. This is the elaboration.

Barbara Kean

So, a quick crash course for people who haven’t seen Gotham (the greatest comic book show on Television, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!): Barbara Kean was a major female character throughout all five seasons of Gotham – and not once during those five seasons did the writers ever figure out what they wanted to do with her.

Every 10-12 episodes or so, Barbara’s role shifted completely. She started out as cop-protagonist Jim Gordon’s girlfriend at home and moral compass, then became part of a bisexual love triangle, then a hard-drinking jealous party girl with a backstory as repressed, lonely rich kid, before being kidnapped by a serial killer and ultimately making her perfect metamorphosis into the psychotic ex-girlfriend trope.

And that was Season 1.

Since then, she became the pseudo-Harley Quinn to the pseudo-Joker, a whip-wielding dominatrix, the obligatory female member in a supervillain squad, some sort of information broker, a mafia kingpin, the leader of a girl-power posse and – my favourite – the reincarnated wife of an ancient immortal who also controls all of Gotham and transferred that control over to her before that plot-point was dropped harder than a half-dead Oswald Cobblepot of the Gotham piers.

Also, she’s Batgirl’s mom.

In short, it’s a mess – but that’s what makes Gotham kinda fun.

Character Cohesion

Now, obviously, Niki’s character journey has not been quite as extreme. But it falls into the same traps, I find. Namely, that there’s just a distinct lack of character cohesion or character continuity.

Now, character cohesion or character continuity doesn’t mean that the arcs these characters undertake can’t be explained in a logical way. Barbara’s character journey is logical in the sense that you can explain it all with in-universe logic – but it’s not logical from a narratological sense now, is it?

Character Cohesion basically means that a character’s journey is reflected in their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need. Their arc is the natural continuation of what was set-up in previous sequences. Everything falls into a whole with Set-up, Confrontation, Resolution – we set up the character’s Want, their Want and Need are conflicting, the Want vs. Need is resolved. Ideally this coincides with the plot beats of the large conflict surrounding the cast.

When you look at Barbara in Season 1 of Gotham, you’re not thinking “This one right here – she’s the reincarnated wife of Ra’s Al Ghul”. Because why would you? There was no set-up; it’s not part of what her character was about in this moment – or any moment before that concept was introduced. It’s not needed for her character conflict (or any thematic conflicts for that matter).

It’s quite transparently just something that is affixed to her so that she has something until the writers come up with the next at which that first thing will dropped, underdeveloped.

Niki in Season 1

Niki follows the same route, unfortunately. She’s set-up as the resistance in L’Manburg, allies herself with Eret and HBomb until – oops – it doesn’t end mattering, because that entire side of the “plot” is completely underdeveloped. Just be a damsel until Wilbur can swoop in and save you, Niki.

Okay, but now she has a big moment with Tommy and Tubbo just after the pit-scene. “We’ll figure something out”, she says. “We need L’Manburg back”. This is all before the backdrop of Wilbur completely giving in to his role as a villain and Techno’s apparent “betrayal”.

So, now, surely, Niki is gonna affect change in Pogtopia and will have some influence on either Tommy or Wilbur, the two people she’s closest to. What’s this? Her biggest contribution is holding a birthday party where Quackity convinces Wilbur to hold off on his TNT-plan? And after that … she’s just gonna be part of the Pogtopia-masses?

Now, I like Wilbur’s writing and Season 1 generally, but when it comes to Niki (and Eret) something went terribly wrong. Both of them provided many a set-up – none of which were taken advantage of, unfortunately.

And, just to be clear, I’m not putting the blame on Niki here (or at least not most of it). Season 1 was pretty firmly in Wilbur’s hand … and Season 2 was a train wreck.

Niki in Season 2

Niki is – for the most part of Season 2 – a nothing character. She has no real conflict, no character beats, no arc. This is because through some unfortunate writing decisions, Season 2 is pretty squarely focused on a specific set of characters – and even fewer of those characters are granted a fully explored, completed character arc.

It all culminates in her Doomsday villain arc – a moment that can be logically explained from both an in-character perspective and a meta-perspective, but unfortunately, it’s not justified from a technical writing point of view.

Niki burning down the L’Mantree is her “Ra’s Al Ghul’s reincarnated wife”-moment. It’s a big statement that put her character on the map for a large part of the audience again. It was a striking visual. It could not be ignored.

Most of that was because it was a stark departure from her characterization in Season 1. Now, such a departure doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. The problem comes in when

a.) The full potential of the character in their previous narrative role had not yet been fully or even partly exhausted

b.) It cuts into an on-going character arc and drastically changes its course

c.) It’s not foreshadowed or developed properly.

And most of those are true for Niki’s character. She was not necessarily underdeveloped but underexplored in Season 1 and had no consistent storyline going on in Season 2. She was a witness to Tommy’s trial, but that was never worked into an on-going storyline for her. No matter how much we retroactively pretend like this turn to villainy, this breakdown, was brewing deep inside of her – there was no foreshadowing.

The reason, why I said it’s understandable from a meta-perspective, is that the content creator Niki Nihachu had a self-admittedly hard time getting her foot in in Season 2 – because Season 2, for as much love as I will heap upon Tommy’s and Dream’s storyline, was a pretty messy.

So, the villain arc was not well foreshadowed and Niki’s turn was developed, but what happened after she was in it?

Niki in Season 3

Well, unfortunately that problem of an inconsistent storyline never really went away for her. In the beginning of Season 3, she hatched her wagons with Jack Manifold, which was a pretty big tonal shift – from darkly tragic to cartoonish villainy.

But as Jack kept developing his character in that lane and following up on big plot development with corresponding character moments, Niki again just … vanished. She then changed gears again, joining the Syndicate – a great idea if only the Syndicate actually streamed together and developed a storyline and group cohesion.

As it stands right now, Niki’s character exists in the negative space of the fandom imaginations. We are given some scraps and good character moments – her sleeping in a jail cell, “I started baking again”, her secret city – but those moments never coalesce into a full-fledged storyline.

Her character’s journey is still as fragmented and underexplored as it ever was. I really hope that – with Wilbur’s revival and the new character conflict that seems to arise from that for her – she manages to finally get the foot in and get the storyline and dynamic arc she deserves.

[fiftytwotwentytwo]

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone

Author: J.K. Rowling

Fantasy / Children - Middle Grade

Page Count: 309

How did I come across this book?:

I wanted to see what all the hype was about.

I feel like my age group may have been on the edge of becoming or not becoming Pot/PotterHeads... - but I truly don't recall anyone gushing over HP in school - my nephew did, but not my peers.

I do have one vivid memory tied to the Harry Potter - couple days before the first film was supposed to be released our local priests visited the nightly CCD classes and urged demanded us to boycott the movie - there was sooooo much that made this plea so lasting.

First, I'm not going to name names, but this person's actual last name was an adjective that was synonymous with "fun" - "being hip" and the speech was far from fun or hip.

Also, said priest - not knocking but pointing out - sweated profusely... I don't know why - hot itchy garments? Overactive sweat glands?? But anywhosel- the man looked like he had an SNL prop tucked underneath his hair because his brow was basted in sweat.

Now, juxtapose this with being in a Catholic Elementary classroom where you have a priest whose sprung a leak and is standing in front of a backdrop of student crafted scarecrows, jack-o-lanterns, cornucopias, and the ever so popular framed photo of Jesus teaching a youngster how to hit a fastball baseball. Again, it felt very SNL-elly.

And lastly, there was just one line that stood out - one line I've always remembered - he said buying a ticket or reading the book was like buying a train seat to hell - I found the analogy very appealing as I never ridden a train, but thought "Is a train really the fastest transport to hell"? Don't get me wrong - it definitely sounds scenic, but why not a plane or just simply have the Earth's crust gobble you up.

Anyways... I saw the movie opening weekend.

And I've seen all the movies and... I'm not really a fan - BUT - adhering to the age ol' adage, The Book was Better Than the Movie - I decided to see if the book could change my mind on the Harry Potter franchise.

I ended up purchasing a copy from Amazon because I did not want to possibly damage a friend's beloved copy.

Review:

I personally had a hard time diving into this book, but it did pick up a little steam once Harry got to Hogwarts.

The world building was great. The introduction to the main cast and side characters was also well done, but I am not sure how much the films filled in some gaps.

The book eventually became fast and easy read. But up until the last 40 pages/last two chapters - the book just seemed to have great moments and no rising crescendo - no anticipatory ascent of a roller coaster - it felt more like snapshots.

Once I hit those last two chapters I fell hard - I loved the action - but the last two chapters also had a few moments where I had to remind myself that this initial story was geared towards grade schoolers - moments like solving a logic puzzle (because wizards are not well known for logic - actual statement from the book) or having a huge locked door and leaving a "hidden" key in the room with a means of transport/tools to find the key.

The last chapters were winning me over - but - the last closing pages I felt cheated. A massive break in the action/battle - a fade to black - and our hero just randomly wakes up 3 days later???

I guess Rowling "appeases" the reader by having a 3rd party tell our hero how the fight ended through exposition and info dumps... but Muggle-Oh-Muggle - it was absolute theft.

So, was it a good book?

It was okay.

I bet if I read a copy as a grade schooler - maybe even an illustrated copy - I would have yielded to the fandom.

Will I read further into the series?

Yeah, I think I'd I check it out... I mean what else am I going to read on my Train to Hell?

Personal Rating: 5.5/10

Yearly Book Total: 42

Total Page Count: 15,355 pages

* Achievement Unlocked *

It Weebles... It Wobbles... It Won't Fall Do--

OH, Lordy It's Falling!

It Officially Fell!

Forty-Two Books High

But... We Must Rebuild:

Huzzah!

[xaibaugrove]

Everyone in the Krew is Problematic

I was inspired to go on this rant by someone who recently brought up a question in a server I’m in, asking why so many people in the fandom seem to hate Mako and Makorra and why. This wouldn’t be the first time I defend Mako and it most likely won’t be the last, but it might be the first time I tear him and everyone else in the Krew down in the process, only to bring them back up. Hear me out though.

I think I’ve totally accepted that a lot of people in this fandom will always hate Mako and that I will have to perpetually defend him, I understand that this is the relationship I’ve chosen with this world. But what I still will never understand are the reasons why people hate/dislike him because compared to how much they love other characters in the Krew who honestly aren’t that much better than him (in some cases, even worse!), it doesn’t make any sense.

Let me also preface this by saying, I love these characters with all my heart and soul, probably more than I should love fictional characters, but this is the life I live and with that being said, I am going to tear them apart just to prove a point. Okay, here we go.

MAKO

Most of his detractors list the usual criticisms, which are valid when isolated. He cheated on Asami, he lied to Korra, he was a terrible boyfriend and essentially he treated the women he claimed to love or care about horribly. Gee, it’s almost like the man was a teenager with no experience in having long-lasting, healthy relationships and was raised in the streets by gangmembers while doing anything to survive and provide for his younger sibling after seeing his parents killed right in front of him and suddenly being orphaned…

I think Mako has been torn down enough, so I won’t get too deep into the tearing down part for him. It really does baffle me how someone can claim to be woke and not comprehend how someone coming from poverty could possibly be a product of their environment. Like, does everyone think that poor people automatically have hearts of gold and turn out like Little Orphan Annie? Why are people surprised that when someone has a shitty life, they might do shitty things?

Also, sooo many people love Zuko, who actively tried to cause harm to Aang, Katara and Sokka numerous times, and sympathize with his troubled past. But like, sure Zuko had an abusive father and his mother peaced out of his life for whatever reasons but at least he had his uncle. Mako had his parents for maybe 8 years before they were murdered in front of him and then had...no one for the next 10 years? Except for Bolin, sure, but no other parental figure in his life. Dude literally had to become him and his brother’s own parent and joined a gang to survive, and after all that, the worst he does is acts as a bad boyfriend toward Korra and Asami and he is instantly thrown to the wolves. Something doesn’t add up. It’s just...I don’t get it.

Yes, the way he treated people was bad, but people can grow? That’s a thing humans can do. And he was a teenager, my god. No, we cannot allow our past to be an excuse for how we treat others, but we have to be aware that there is a growth process to being human. And being human in and of itself, isn’t pretty. You think Mako is problematic? Don’t get me started on your fave.

KORRA

Ok, I love this woman to death but she is ridiculously problematic. She pursued someone in a relationship and essentially forced Mako to cheat on Asami by kissing him against his will, that’s already pretty awful and shows a lack of empathy on her part, also kissing people without their consent is no bueno. But also I just have to say it for the people who might not know this. One of the fundamental reasons why Makorra didn’t work was because KORRA WAS ABUSIVE. Okay? It wasn’t just that Mako was inadequate at relationships and didn’t know how to people, it wasn’t that she was secretly confused and wanting Asami the entire time (biphobia at it’s best) one of the main problems in the pairing was that Korra was crazy abusive towards Mako. Seriously, why don’t I see this more often in those discussions??

If we need examples, I have dozens. Honestly, it’s really easy to see how terrible Korra was to Mako, I’d actually argue that she treated him worse than he treated her. I mean, they were both terrible to one another, but in Korra’s case she went through the motions of being completely infatuated with your first teenage crush, getting with said crush, then crashing and burning once you realize that you have no idea how to treat a romantic partner so after the butterflies wear off you subject them to all the wonderful aspects of your anger issues. Not only did she scream at Mako during every argument they had, she also threatened him with bodily harm if she got really angry. Remember how their relationship crashed and burned in Book 2? Here are the things that Korra did during that time. Let me reiterate, this was not okay.

Mako is visibly shaken by this!

This woman burst into her boyfriend’s place of work and violently kicked his desk out from in front of him with all his coworkers present. That is not normal behavior. That is a red flag. And after she came back, had amnesia or whatever and forgot they broke up after that scene, let’s not forget that Mako was legitimately Afraid to break up with her again. Korra made her partner frightened that they might suffer bodily harm if they upset her. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is not okay!

The little scene in Book 3 when Korra is lifting Mako like 100 feet off the ground with airbending while he’s screaming in fear just to make Asami laugh is cute, right? I’ll admit, I loved that little moment too, it’s one of the only instances of Korrasami development that we got, but also, there were sooo many things wrong with that scene lol. Not only does Korra terrify Mako for literally no reason, it’s also sort of just her continuing to exercise some degree of power over him for her own amusement. Almost like a subtle reminder to him saying, “I am stronger than you in every way and I can break your femur like a twig if I wanted to… but I won’t, so look how much fun we’re having!”

Now of course, there are reasons why Korra acts like this. She was isolated for almost her entire life and never learned how to treat people and be around people. The Avatar is human because they must live amongst the people they protect and that helps them develop empathy and cherish life. The White Lotus deprived her of that fundamental aspect of her duty as the Avatar and it showed throughout the beginning of the series. Clearly, she was young, didn’t see how her actions could negatively affect others and hurt the feelings of not just her partner but also friends and family (she was really awful towards a lot of people in her life!). But as the series went on, we see her having less outbursts and learning to control her temper more.

One can only assume that she does not have the same behavior with Asami because for one, I don’t think Asami would play that shit, she seems like she would electrocute a bitch in a heartbeat and not hesitate if needed, but also Korra is not the same shitty partner she used to be as a teenager. Again, kids do stupid things. Adults do stupid things. And we learn and we grow. Korra will probably make some more mistakes in her relationship with Asami. I don't think anyone can have one bad relationship and suddenly learn all the lessons they can from it and have a perfect one the next go around. I can totally picture Korra losing her temper and raising her voice at Asami if she gets frustrated and forgets who she’s dealing with. Managing anger issues is hard, I know this from experience, and it doesn’t magically get easier. Of course, if Korra does pop off, Asami would definitely put her in her place because she’s a bad bitch who doesn’t take anyone’s shit, next character.

ASAMI

You know her, you love her, you fantasize about her and you probably have her on your list of fictional characters you would totally bang if you had the chance (I know I do), yes, even your best girl is problematic. It’s interesting to me that a lot of people sympathize with Asami and very few openly criticize her (so few that I’ve never seen anyone say a bad thing about her). What’s there to criticize though? The poor girl was cheated on by Mako, had her feelings disregarded by Korra, who claimed to be her friend but pursued her then-boyfriend behind her back and then made up for it by simping for her for the rest of her life? Also her mom was murdered when she was just 6 years old, her father threatened to kill her once and physically abused her, then died right after they started repairing their relationship, essentially making her an orphan at the ripe age of 22. Suffice it to say, Asami has been through it.

So, how could she be problematic, you ask? Why, of course, through the classic Bryke technique of romance progression in storylines called Kissing People Without Their Consent

To be honest, I did gloss over this with Korra, simply because there were sooo many other issues with that woman and I just couldn’t go through every single one in as much detail but that doesn’t negate how serious this whole sneak attack kissing thing is. Sure, Asami is very emotional and lonely and sort of desperate too, (it's a little sad, really) but Mako is clearly uncomfortable and completely caught off guard by the kiss. This is also the second time this happens to him in the series! There are a couple factors that might contribute to why Asami does this and acts this way, maybe Korra’s general awfulness rubbed off on her (don’t make a dirty joke) but this is still wrong.

AND that’s...pretty much it. Kissing people without their permission is a big no no, though. Not wanting to gloss over that, but Asami really is a good person who just did a not-so-great thing. Getting burned by Mako twice probably made her a little less inclined to be as forward with anyone though, and it looks like she now takes her time and is patient in her relationship with Korra. It even seems like Asami is the only person Korra is afraid to upset, as Korra does seem more gentle and calm when around her. And who knows? Maybe Asami living a life where a majority of the time she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it might have also influenced her to be more assertive or even imposing within her relationships.

If anything, those three fools getting into relationships with each other just showed how not ready they were to be in relationships in the first place and also how not okay they were.

BOLIN

Originally I titled this as “Everyone in the Krew is problematic (except Bolin)” but then I remembered that Bolin totally kissed a woman without her consent so I deleted the shit out of that!

This asshole looks genuinely pleased with himself after essentially assaulting Ginger. Not a good look.

Sure, Bolin is baby. He will always be baby to me. But that does not erase the fact that he also actively supported a fascist dictator. Not only was the kissing without consent thing bad, but there’s also that. No matter how many times people around him warned him about the fact that he was on the wrong side of things, that he was helping someone who was putting people into concentration camps...Bolin wanted to believe the best of Kuvira. He ignored obvious signs that the woman was a dictator committing human rights violations like crazy and you know, there’s gotta be a reason for that too.

Maybe Bolin wanted to feel like he was doing something good for once. When you think about it, with his role as the comic relief in the Krew, and sort of constantly being infantilized by his older brother, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man developed some insecurity in his ability to do anything good or useful for anyone without screwing it up in some way. In Kuvira’s army, it seemed like he was actually taken seriously, he felt like he was doing something that mattered. Korra had being the Avatar, Asami had her business and mindblowing philanthropy (honestly, her ability to be as charitable as she is profitable is insane) and Mako had his police work (ACAB, tho). Bolin had...the role of being a joke. A superficial actor. A former pro-bending meathead.

Bolin lived his entire life following after his brother that once they were adults and Mako finally decided to live his own life for once, it left Bolin completely lost. And lost young men are perfect recruits for fascists.

So, in conclusion, my whole reasoning behind destroying the integrity of my favorite characters is to prove a huge point. All of these characters are problematic. They have flaws, some bigger than others (looking at you, Korra. Just...wow), but ultimately, even if your fave is problematic... that’s okay. A lot of people, mostly younger people it seems, are really obsessed with being right about everything that they do and stan. And that’s a wonderful thing, so much change has come about by the younger generations calling out people who do fucked up shit, don’t want or try to improve, and get away with it. But it’s also caused a lot of people to be unforgiving and completely unwilling to acknowledge when people do improve and try to be better.

Personally, I love my problematic Krew because having issues that you’re constantly working on internally is human. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s human to grow from those mistakes. And it’s inspiring to me, who is wholly imperfect, to see myself reflected in fictional characters who aren’t perpetuating unrealistic ideals of human nature, characters who are messy, crazy and ultimately human.

As one of my favorite manga artists and queen of impeccable character creation Rumiko Takahashi once said:

“I think that perfect people are not very interesting.”

And I will always wholeheartedly agree.

[symphonyofthewrite]

If These Walls Could Talk 

Freaking GORGEOUS cover art by Junki Sakuraba on Instagram and Deviantart!! Definitely go check him out!! His art is incredible, and from what I can tell he’s really nice dude. He absolutely went above and beyond with this prompt. 10/10 would commission again. (And probably will once I save up enough money XD)

The wonderful art later in the chaper is by niuan_ on instagram!!

It wasn’t made/commissioned for this fic--(though I’ve since commissioned her to make cover art for me, so stay tuned for those!)--but when I saw it I couldn’t believe it!! That’s one of my favorite images in this chapter, and I couldn’t believe another artist made a piece for the same idea independently!!

I'll put the links to their profiles either in the replies or a reblog (since tumblr is dumb about links)!!

Also, FYI, I'll be using this post as my "reblog post" meaning I'll reblog this post with the later chapters of this fic, so they're all in one place. So if you want to read more of this fic, check the reblogs on this post, chances are more chapters will be there!!

Comments and reblogs are MORE than appreciated!! If you have a spare minute you will really make my week, and motivate me to keep writing!!

Fandom: Castlevania Netflix

Summary: Vampires do not have reflections, and castles do not have hearts. But Dracula is no ordinary vampire, and Castlevania is no ordinary castle. If castles can fight, maybe they can think too.

The series, and Adrian’s childhood, told from the perspective of the castle.

Chapter Summary:

“My mother’s name was Lisa, and she was mortal…She actually showed up at his front door. She found the castle and banged the door with the pommel of her knife…She was remarkable. She beat on the door until my father let her in, and then demanded he teach her how to be a doctor.”

Chapter 1: "Lisa”

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

The castle doesn’t like children.

Well, maybe that’s too strong to say. It simply isn’t the place for them. Its existence is a signpost: leave me alone. It is not used to having company—much less a family—inside it, nor is it ready to welcome for a crying, puking, giggling thing into the world. It does not intend to be a cozy place to coddle him into adulthood.

The castle itself pierces the sky, its turrets and towers the dripping stain of the sun’s blood across the moon.

The bare walls hold no colorful tapestries for a child to enjoy, no paintings of its many inhabitants to tell of—for there was only ever one (and maybe that ought not change. It is safe to say the castle doesn’t like change). The royal red and gold carpets are more suited to kings; not designed for spit-up, mud, and scuffing. ‘Don’t play with that’ would be a motto around here; so many contraptions either easy to break, or which could break the child. The fireplaces, while almost always lit, only ever coughed warmth onto the floor before them—they provided no snug space to curl up on a winter’s day. Even the mirrors here are empty, holding nothing but a reflection of the bare walls they sit upon.

There are certain people who were seemingly born as they are; they never owned toys, never crawled on the floor, never walked with clumsy steps—their footfalls were always this calculated count—never burped on their mother’s nice shirts, and surely never had anything so dull as a childhood. They were always just…here, on the world. There was no innocence, and no losing it. So it was with Dracula.

The very thought of Dracula ever owning toys, even in some nice cottage far away from here, with a doting mother and an absent father, with a funny last name like Cronqvist, defied sense to the castle. So no, no toys here, nor any simple charts for learning; the books divulged their secrets to more mature minds. Just blood and books, gold and gears, forgotten magic means, mirrors that reflect nothing, and a pile of prayers to a good God they used to justify their ungood, and ungodly deeds.

All these things—or their absence—do not make for the picture of a baby-proof home.

The castle has grown accustomed to being cold and dark, and listening to one master alone. It’s not a quaint place lovers look on and think we’ll raise our kids here someday.

Its master isn’t the ideal father either—after all, the castle only reflected its king. Its master knows only of blood and nails, fangs and wails, words too big for a child’s mouth, and worlds too dark for a child’s heart.

Can he be soft? Can he be gentle? Can he keep those claws, which have ripped out better men’s hearts, from piercing a child’s—his child’s…how could one who killed so many have a child?—skin? He knows many spells, but is there one that can turn those screams into laughter?

He has been soft before. Once. And that is with this woman.

Many women have walked the castle’s halls: shivering, shrieking damsels at his feet; cold and calculating queens; fragile bodies on the floor, that he broke with the same regard a child does a vase that matters to someone else.

Those ordinary people who do come often have pitchforks in their mouths, and fiery words in their closed fists. Curses stacked on the end of stakes, banging like the castle is the church bell signifying their own funerals.

It is for this reason that the castle does not like outsiders, does not open its doors easily. But it cannot deny anyone entry. Unlike the humans’ doors, which find his master guilty until proven innocent.

They always came at night. At night, when the loudest sound is your own breathing. At night, when their fires echoed loudest, and their shouts burned brightest.

They came when the flowers were closed, when only the most eerie and vicious of animals played with the skins of their prey, and the moon waxed the world in cold, drunk shine. The sun could not watch them, could not show their blood-struck hands in their full glory.

She came at sunset. When the sun still glazed her deeds in sanguine auburn, but was just deciding to turn its gaze and let the kids have their fun. Not quite day, when the sun would kill things like Dracula, but not quite night, when the hours are named after witches, and lust is strongest—be it for the body, or the blood within it. Somewhere in between death and life, violence and peace.

This woman came with a knife in her hand, yes. But a knife, at least, was not a sword. It was not a pitchfork, a spear, a whip, or a stake; all weapons that signify, if the fight wasn’t there, you were bringing it with you. Not a war-starved weapon, pointing with mal-in—and -con—tent towards the castle doors and all the things inside it. Not a thirsty thing. Something that by default faced the other direction. Something that can start a fight if it wants to, but doesn’t crave it.

The golden woman came at sunset, with a knife in her hand, and looked upon this thing, this castle that others called ‘ugly’, and ‘monstrous,’ and ‘grotesque,’ looked upon it with awe, and gasped in wonder.

She knocked. She didn’t bang her fists upon the stone, didn’t ram pitchforks and assorted insults against the innocent doors, like how-dare-they protect their master.

She knocked, and the doors opened before she could raise her fist a second time. Maybe, just this once, not because they didn’t have any other choice.

The doors—foreboding, menacing, and all the other spooky -ings one can think of—opened to a world strewn in light; the demon’s castle looked brighter, more beautiful, more alive, than half the churches she’d been to.

Her footsteps were gentle against the castle’s floors. Not a slow, forced gentleness, but also not a piercing, purposeful march. There was no apprehension to her footsteps; her feet carried her as if anxious to take her to as many rooms as they could.

At first her steps were the only sound, enough to fool some into thinking they’re alone.

And it became clear both that she was not alone, and not a fool.

But when she saw the demon, she put the knife away, and used her words.

She used her words to repeat those she herself had heard: stories. But not the kind that make monstrous men run at the doors with naughts and crosses, the kind pious people buried along with all evidence that the world wasn’t made of black and white.

Not all the stories told that this place was cold and dark and full of death.

Amongst all the stories about death, there were others that said Vlad Tepes brought this castle to life with science, forbidden knowledge, and a little bit of lightning. Stories that say there is life here.

And, in exchange for proof that these life-stories true, Dracula asked for a trade, a trade that would prove the other stories true too. He gave up the killing a while ago—(the castle has been in one place a very long time)—but he was still not used to giving for free, and definitely not used to getting for free. Vampires trade in blood and names, not diamonds and declarations. Vampires trade in things they can swallow. This castle, too, had been a gaping hole set to swallow the world and everything that entered. Never once had it given.

And she dared to say, that this place, its master, should learn to give, when the humans have done nothing but take from them—or try their best to. He ought to be the one to invite her in, to ask what she would like, to dispense pleasant words and kind actions, when the humans forgot they invented hospitality, and showed no invitation for him to even enter their homes.

But she didn’t come with a mouth full of garlic, and hands full of superstition. Her feet did not drill holes in the floor with their sharp toll, they wandered the scenic route.

She was used to being cheated. Dracula and his castle were too. But that was not why she was there. She was not there for cheap tricks, or death. She wanted something real. A little bit of the life the castle has to offer.

Her defiance wasn’t that of a terrified citizen, or angry queen, either; rather the calm resolve of someone who is asking for something they know in their heart is good, and knows they will get it. The kind of person who believes there is good in everyone, and that this good will ultimately always win, and who won’t leave until they convince this good to show its face.

The castle has watched countless men and women cower at the foot of count Dracula. Some, do have a measure of god-sanctioned defiance; they come with whips and scourges to defeat him. The castle and the king are bound together in their resolve against them.

Except one. Except this woman. One human whom both master and castle found themselves reluctant to deny, cast away, or kill, maybe even…taken with.

She may be human, but she was not like the rest; she did not light the night on fire with her thirst for blood.

So maybe, just maybe, they could let one ray of sunlight slip through the cracks.

She was also not devoid of life, and maybe that was the key.

‘Devoid of life’ was an accurate portrayal of the castle. Bats flying out of blackness is a good description of a cave, and caves don’t usually come with the brochure ‘teeming with life’, or ‘great place to take your kids!’. The castle had a soul-sucking quality to it; those who entered often found themselves leaving less alive than they arrived. It took after its vampire master. Those who didn’t actually lose their lives within its walls, often remarked upon leaving that the flowers bloomed brighter, the birds sang louder, the grass was greener, and that they missed the sunlight.

Sunlight. Such a base thing; vampires don’t need the light or warmth to be happy.

Sunlight. Such a base way to die; wanting to get out of the cold and the dark.

“Is this how the castle felt to you before my mother first arrived at your door?”

Castlevania was alive once. Once Dracula set the pumps, and its heart began to beat. He turned the gears, and its lungs inhaled. He forged the lightning, and it began to think. Once the books, full of unknown knowledge, jumped off the shelves to get the vampire king’s attention. He filled the bottles and beakers, and they bubbled, as if laughing at a joke only they shared.

They were both alive, once.

That waned, with time. The gears got arthritis, the books caught pneumonia, the experiments atrophied. The castle ached before she came.

And Dracula, alone in the halls, picking up books and putting them down again without so much as a polite glance through them, because he read them all before. Dracula looking into fractured mirrors that could take him anywhere, but deciding there wasn’t anywhere he wanted to go. Dracula, looking into old mirrors that don’t reflect him—like there was never anything to reflect, nothing alive here to begin with, and there isn’t a master for this castle after all. Nothing but a grave. Dracula sitting alone in his study, staring into the fire. No one to talk to. No sound but flipping pages and crackling fires—nothing alive. Alive but dead. This castle. Its master. Undead is the proper term.

The other women who came through here reflected the castle, or else the castle took the life out of them the moment they entered. Queens with malice-stained past, and cracked, icy future in their eyes. Just as cold as the walls. Subjects, humans throwing gruesome insults, silky flattery, or fluttering pleas at his feet. Just as empty as the mirrors.

Only one refused the castle’s bite. Only one walked in looking for life, rather than death. Looking for a thing no one thought existed here. Already presumed dead. Put six feet beneath the ground. But maybe it was here all along; maybe the light hid in the castle’s corners while the dark came out to play, and she just had to coax it out of its hiding places. Maybe the bell was ringing all this time, she was the only one who came close enough to hear it; the only one who came to put flowers on the grave.

Maybe when she felt the machinery pumping she knew the rhythm was a heartbeat. Maybe when she heard the gears clanking she knew it was the sound of inhaling and exhaling. Maybe when she saw the lightning, she wondered what it was thinking. Maybe she looked at these books, these instruments, and saw what the vampire king saw once; something alive. They weren’t dead yet—un- or otherwise. Just sick, and in need of proper treatment. She was a doctor after all. Maybe her first subject was the very books she learned from.

Lisa, who looked at this blotch on the sky, with Death in its towers, and darkness splattered on its walls, and thought that’s where I’ll learn to heal people. Lisa, who gaped in amazement at the beast of a building. Lisa, who didn’t shudder upon entering. Lisa, who didn’t scream when its master touched her, but turned to him with calm resolve, and told him she’d teach him to be more human. Lisa, who’s life eclipsed the undeath in this place.

And there was a trade that occurred that day. For Dracula’s immortal knowledge, Lisa would teach him how to live a mortal life. To travel the world as a man, to walks as a man, to eat and drink, laugh and cry, as a man. Immortality for mortality. They gave each other the world, as so many lovers promise to do. Vlad would make her immortal, and Lisa would make him mortal, with no exchange blood.

(Except to create a thing with both their blood running through it.)

So maybe, after all this talk of life, it is fitting that she wants to create life inside this castle.

Fitting, maybe. Fitting for her. But the castle is not mortal yet, and wishes it could protest that it isn’t the right size, refuse to try on the idea.

Dracula is apprehensive as well, for the castle and he are used to each other, they take after each other, because the cold, and the dark, and the death, and the alone does something to you after a while; you start talking to the walls. After the cold queens and quaking colleens leave, or leave their bloodstains the floor. After the beasts and their silver-stained bullets turn back into righteous men in the sun. After he simply outlives everyone else. When all the living things hate, fear, or else betray you, when all the living things can die, and you, who are undead, cannot, it’s the lifeless things that stand firm by your side. When the day ends and the shadows come out to play, when you’re the only one left, in the end you still have the walls. And then…the walls are all you have. And if you talk to them long enough you make a sort of pact, spoken or silent, with those speechless stones: ‘you’re the only one I can trust.’

Dracula speaks to them one day, says he wonders if he can do this, be a father at all, not to mention a good one. The castle cannot reply. But something deep inside the walls wonders if it might be nice to hear Dracula laugh. It might be nice to put on some different clothes. It might be nice for someone new to listen to from time to time. It might be nice to live again.

The castle is concerned. Used to doing things one way, being one way, and only hearing one voice. But that doesn’t mean it is unwilling, that it intends to kill the child.

It never kills anything—Dracula does that. It cannot do anything on its own, and that includes change.

The castle doesn’t like change.

…But that doesn’t mean it won’t.

And if its going to change, its master must change first. They must change together.

Vampires do not have reflections. But Dracula has a castle, and that castle will be damned if it isn’t his mirror.

Reflections are simple to change; put on some makeup, some war paint, a new change of clothes, get a piercing somewhere. Simple, yes, but not easy, to change completely, because that doesn’t mean anything’s changed inside.

The castle did not come equipped for child-rearing; there are no rooms full of toys and cradles and school supplies.

So if this is to be, they must build their son’s world themselves.

Together they set aside a room for the child’s arrival. Just one, single room. And the castle too knows, from the start, this room will be different from all the rest. They will put paintings on the walls, and banners in the halls; things to interest him, to tell him of his parents, at least, even if there are few other relatives to spend Christmas with. The carpets will be darker, instead of the stringent red, and they will make their words smaller, the books easier to understand. The rest of the castle is warm in color, but cool in atmosphere. This room will be cool in color, but warm in atmosphere. The fire will always be set in its place, and they will try their best to make sure the warmth reaches him; if the fire fails, they will knit blankets; if the blankets fail they will make him tea, or warm milk with honey; and when everything else fails they will hold him. If there are tears here, scornful stares will not greet them, instead, kisses and lullabies will be behind door number three. If this room lives, it will be because of something much softer than pounding metal and lighting.

If a child is to live here, they must change that reflection. Everything Dracula’s castle appears to be, this room will be the reverse. Separate. Something… other than the castle.

This room will bottle all the laughter had in this castle. This room will be made of and for living, not the death the rest of the place is steeped in. So much so that this room will not stand for bloodshed.

Lisa brings in supplies from her town; color and cloth, boards and brushes, needle, and thread, and paper; all the things one needs to build a universe.

It is Dracula who takes the paint, who changes the color to something other than the blacks and reds of the rest of the Vampire’s world, cementing on the walls themselves You will not be dark here, my castle. You will be kind to him, Castlevania. The castle doesn’t know its master to work with his hands like a human, but Vlad is not the same within this room either—this room is part of the trade. He doesn’t use magic, or science, as if he is telling himself with every hammer that they are going to change together, the way one does when talking to the mirror.

Lisa sits in a chair and stiches together cloth and fur to make little creatures, toys for the boy to play with. Soft things, not sharp. They are reflections too, littler, simpler ones, of the creatures howling and prowling outside the castle’s walls, or scurrying within them.

But it is the ceiling that is the crowning jewel of the room. Something they paint together—splashing it onto each other’s clothes and noses.

His parents love the stars. They often walk outside the castle walls, fingers knit into each other’s, to gaze at them. They are scholars at soul, and have charted the constellations. They want their child to be able to do the same, to watch the stars, even if he’s not outside. At the end of every day they want him to be sung to sleep by the symphony of the night.

For them, maybe, but to the castle, one of the most interesting things about this room, is the mirror. This is strange, as, while there are other mirrors in this house, they are nothing more than a silver decoration; they have no purpose here, unless they float in shards and possibility. This is an ordinary mirror. It does hold something now, however, and that’s Lisa—only giving more credence to the idea that she is the only living thing in this castle. The castle wonders if they think it will reflect the child, as if they are hoping he will take after his mother and the room.

The mirror, and the windows. In the rest of the castle, the windows are always closed, curtained, or too small to let any real light in. But here they are big, and inviting to all the wiles of the day. Dracula protested—fearing he would burn. Lisa insisted—hoping he would shine.

The mirror, the room, are empty now. The windows closed. The books and charts dormant as the rest. It is not dead, but it’s not alive either. Not even undead. Just a question. An almost.

The room lays on Frankenstein’s table; just one lightning strike—(or one child’s laugh)—away from breathing.

[lovelyyy-luna]

come out and play

pairing: (dallas winston x fem!reader )

fandom: the outsiders

type: angst

warning: body shaming, depressing stuff, overdosing on pills

request: @yeetwinchester2: Can you do 1, 5, and 10 from your prompt list with Dally? Thank you!!!💙💛

prompt(s):

1. “It’s alright, I'm right here”

5. “Please hold me”

9. “Don’t listen to them”

word count: 773

a/n: I am so sorry that this is almost a year late.

date: march 8, 2021

masterlist

The nights had gotten harder. You could barely sleep. You wanted to talk to your boyfriend Dallas about it but could never bring yourself to. Even though he's rough around the edges he had a soft spot for you.

You sit up in your bed and turn your light on. The thoughts in your head overtook your confidence. You walk out of your room and into your living room. Your footsteps echo throughout your empty apartment.

You had just moved in a few days ago and everything was still in boxes. Moving out of your parent's house was one of the best things you've ever done for yourself. They were horrible human beings. The punches and slaps hurt, the markings would go away but their words were engraved into your brain.

“You're too fat” “you will never be good enough for anyone” “no wonder no one wants you, you'll open your legs for a compliment.”

when Dallas and the gang found how bad your home life was, they tried everything to get you out but you couldn't leave. You kept telling them that they were your family and that it was okay. It was a month ago where you had the last straw. Their words constantly haunt you. You didn't want to die, you just wanted the pain to die.

Johnny found you in your bathroom unconscious. You took a lot of pills and were overdosing. An ambulance was called and Darry made the call that you were living with them. You had to decline because they had too many people living there and you didn't want to burden them. Dallas suggested that you live with him over at Bucks and he didn't take no for an answer.

You moved into bucks over those next few days. The gang went to your house to box up your belongings so you wouldn't have to face your parents.

Dallas talked to the guys about how he got a small apartment and he wanted you to live with him. You were so happy. And so in love.

After he told you about the apartment he went out with Johnny and obviously got in a fight. But this was involved with the sheriff's son so Dal got a month in the cooler.

You had to move into the new apartment by yourself. The gang helped you move in but since they were busy with work and school they couldn't always stay long.

Tim would stop by some nights just to make sure you were okay. Johnny was actually the only one that would stay the night. You made it clear to him that he was welcome anytime because you knew the situation he was in.

Tonight Dallas was supposed to come home from the cooler but he didn't. You call Darry to see if he stopped by and he did. “Yeah, kid he’s here wanna talk to him?”

“No Dar it's fine I’ll see him when he comes home.”

“Okay kid see you later.”

You kinda wished Dal came home right when he got out but you didn't wanna seem controlling.

An hour later you were on the couch reading a book when you heard the door jiggle. Dallas walked and sighed.

“Hey, doll. You miss me?”

“Of course I missed you. I just wished you came home right when you got out.”

“I know I’m a sorry doll. I just wanted to see the guys before I spent the whole weekend with you.”

He gives you a long kiss. You missed him.

After the kiss, he goes to take a shower, and you are left alone again. Alone with your thoughts.

You tried your best to be positive and keep busy when he was gone but now you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

Those thoughts flooded your brain and you broke down once again. You tried to keep your sobs silent but that didn’t work.

Dallas was already dressed when he heard your stifled sobs. He came into the living room and knelt by you.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

“They keep repeating in my head.”

He tries to wipe the tears away but you couldn’t stop.

“Baby don’t listen to them.”

“I try but it’s so hard.”

“I know it is but all you gotta do right now take a deep breath. You need to steady your breath.”

He breathes with you causing you to be just a little bit calm.

“Dallas?”

“Yeah doll?”

“Can you please hold me?”

“Of course.” he gets behind you and holds you.

Your breathing was just slightly erratic, he strokes your head and whispers, “It’s alright, I’m right here.”

♡please like and/or reblog♡

wanna be tagged? (X)

[londonalozzy]

Don’t Tell Bucky 1/2

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Drama

Summary: The reader arrives home one night after drowning her sorrows, thinking she doesn't stand a chance with the guy she loves most, Bucky Barnes. She is so out of it that she ends up revealing all of her feelings to the first person she sees. The man himself.

Masterlist

I've been teased my whole adult life about what an old fashioned, hopeless romantic I am.

Yes, I'm an Avenger. Yes, I can kick ass when the occasion arises. But the rest of the time, the usual place to find me, is curled up on the couch with my head buried in a Jane Austen novel.

A couple of years ago someone came into my life that I thought was the key to it all. He was destined to be the Darcy to my Elizabeth, the Edward to my Elinor, the Mr Knightly to my Emma. Oh, how wrong I was!

When Steve first brought Bucky to Avengers HQ it was like a modern day version of when Bingley introduced Mr Darcy to the people of Meryton at the ball in Pride and Prejudice.

He was the archetype of the aloof romantic hero. Tall, dark, handsome, brooding and quiet. He kept himself to himself, observed everyone with eyes of an eagle, and only spoke when spoken to. I was well and truly hooked.

As weeks turned into months, Bucky and I came to an understanding, a friendship that only got more complicated as time went on. After everything he had been through, it was hard for him to open up to people, to let his guard down. What he did yearn for though, was companionship, someone to sit beside, someone to just be there if and when he needed them. I became that person for him.

Every time I decided to sit silently with a book in hand, it wouldn't be long before I had a certain super soldier at my side, just embracing the company, not having to worry about putting on a show for people he didn't feel comfortable with.

The complication in our relationship came when I realised how much I had come to depend on him being there for me.

My aching for him first made itself known when he started going out on missions that I wasn't apart of, when he went on all day training sessions away with the guys, and whole nights out when his confidence finally got a boost. I missed him. I missed him with every fiber of my being.

"So, I'm guessing you've heard the latest gossip on Barnes?" Nat asked me one morning over breakfast, her eyes not leaving her plate of blueberry pancakes as she spoke.

"Gossip? What are you talking about?" Any news on what Bucky was up to was music to my ears. I'd barely seen him these last few weeks, and it was seriously messing me up in more ways than I'd like to admit.

"You mean he's not told you? You? Princess Y/N?"

To say Nat was surprised by my ignorance was an understatement. This must be something big if she is shocked about it. When did it change to others knowing more about Bucky than I did? I thought we were best friends. He calls me Princess for Christ's sake.

"Maybe you should ask him yourself," Nat suggested, reaching across the table and rubbing my forearm. "I just assumed he would have told you first."

Now I'm seriously freaking out. "Nat, please just tell me what the hell is going on."

"You know Theresa down in medical?" Oh, shit. I've got a bad feeling about this.

"Yeah. What about her?"

"They're dating." Oh no!

It felt like my heart had leapt into my throat. I couldn't think, never mind know what to respond with. I knew it would happen eventually. I knew he'd end up with someone. I just assumed it would me. How stupid could I be?

"Y/N, you need to tell him how you feel." Why does Nat always have to be so good at this observation stuff?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I choked with a traitor tear in my eye, and a jump up from my chair when I suddenly felt the need to escape.

Nat followed me down the hall to my room, putting herself in front of me as I tried to change into my running gear. I had to get out of there. "You can't pretend this isn't happening Y/N. This is Bucky we're talking about. Your Bucky. You'll regret it if you don't tell him."

"Yeah, well I'll regret it a hell of a lot more if I do tell him and then lose him completely."

Nat grabbed my arms, stopping me in my tracks. She was one of my closest friends for a reason. She knew what made me tick, what scared me, what mattered the most to me. It's just not a risk I can take though.

"If you don't talk to him, all of this will get bottled up inside and it will ruin your friendship anyway. Y/N you need to get this out."

She was right. This was Nat. She was always right. My head and heart couldn't handle all of this new information. I didn't know how to deal with it, how to react.

So much for that epic romance I thought I was destined for. Looks like, for me, I'm only meant to be the friend, the side character in someone else's love story. I'm Eponine and not Cosette.

Deciding to lay off of me for the rest of the day, Nat rounded up Wanda and a few others and we headed out for a few drinks. Well, what started out as a few drinks anyway.

By the early morning I had at least 10 too many tequila shots in my bloodstream, partnered with a sore throat from overly emotional karaoke renditions of some of the best known heartbreak songs. I was a mess. A mess that could barely remember her own name.

"Are you drunk?" A random voice echoed through the hall as I stumbled around, trying and failing to get into what I hoped was my room at 2am.

"Why would you think that?" I replied to the swaying figure as they moved closer to steady my feet.

"Probably because you're trying to unlock your bedroom door with a lip stick. Plus the fact that the door doesn't have a lock on it anyway. What's up?"

Ignoring the nosy stranger, and giving up on getting into my room because the handle kept moving all over the place, I went in search of the nearest soft thing I could find to park myself on. Standing up was over rated anyway.

"You don't normally drink like this Princess," the randomer observed, leaning over me as I started making rug angels on the shag pile in the common room.

Why is this guy talking like he knows me? Who the hell does he think he is calling me that? "I've just got a lot on my mind. And don't Princess me. Only Bucky gets to call me that."

"Noted," the randomer laughed with a shake of the head, then joining me by laying at my side.

Staring at the ceiling as the silence engulfed us, I decided to confide in this handsome newbie. "If I tell you something, can you promise you won't tell anybody?"

"I promise," he responded without hesitation.

"I mean it, nobody can know. Especially Bucky. He can never find out." I pulled him into a sitting position and put my hands on either side of his face, trying to stress how important it was that he keeps this to himself. He really was pretty.

"I swear, Bucky will hear none of this from me."

"Ok. Here goes," I jumped up, frantic all of a sudden. "I want him to break up with his girlfriend, and it's seriously stressing me out."

"Why would you want him to do that? She's a nice girl isn't she?," pretty boy questioned in confusion, getting to his feet as well. Why did he care so much? Where the heck did he come from anyway? I swear, if this is one of Tony's robo experiments again I'm gonna flip.

"I'm sure they're perfect for each other," I groaned. "I just know that I don't want him with her. At first I had no idea why. He's one of my closest friends. I should want him to be happy right?"

"Of course," Mr Blue eyes confirmed with a furrowed brow and by gripping onto my now clammy hands.

"Then I started thinking about it. Why was I feeling like this? Why was it bothering me so much? I realised, it wasn't just this one girl I have a problem with. It's all girls. All except one."

"Who?"

"Me."

"Wait? What?" He bellowed, leaping backwards and pacing the floor. "You want m...I mean Bucky to go out with you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I think so."

"Y/N, you can't just come out with something like that and respond with I think so," he screeched out in loud exasperation, so much so that I burst into flood of tears.

"Why are you shouting at me?" This guy is such a meanie.

When he saw how upset I was he immediately calmed down, placing his palms on my face and wiping the salty drops away. "Y/N please don't cry. This is just a lot to process."

It took me a while to calm myself down, hiccups escaping my lips as the crying finally subsided. Slowly, the angel man, stranger, person, thing walked me over to the couch and sat us both down. His eyes were boring into me, beautiful azure pools that looked slightly familiar. Maybe it was those bath bombs Steve keeps buying from Lush. I don't know.

"Why do you even care about all this? It's not like you know him or something?" I enquired, now looking at anything other than in those beautiful bath fizzer eyes.

"Just try to explain to me what's going on in that crazy little head of yours," he pressed.

Oh well. I may as well carry on now I've started.

"I've been with the Avengers for a long time. They're my family, my home. And don't get me wrong, I know they care about me, love me even. It's just easy to be sidelined, you know? To become an after thought when you're part of something so big. Bucky changed that. When I met him, it was like everything shifted. He became the reason I smiled every day, why I looked forward to getting out of bed. For the first time in my life I felt like I was at the top of someone's priority list."

"So are all of these feelings because you think you're gonna lose that? You think you're gonna lose him? I swear to you it won't happen." If it only it were that easy.

"I wish it was that," the tears building up once more as I eventually decided to look at him properly. "It would make all of this way less complicated."

"What is it then?," he pressed in urgency.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm head over heels in love with the guy."

[giowritess]

— prompt & trope list  —

p r o m p t & trope l i s t  —   m a s t e r l i s t

 — under the cut you have a compilation of prompts and tropes I’ve created and found here on Tumblr and internet. 

— don’t forget to check my fandoms post to see who and what I write for!

TROPES

1. Christmas

2. New Year

3. Valentine’s Day

4. Mother’s Day

5. Father’s Day

6. Wedding

7. Arranged marriage

8. Babysitter

9. Coffee shop

10. Book store

11. Fake dating/marriage

12. Forbidden love

13. Pet store

14. Parent

15. Teacher

16. Flower shop

17. Locked in a room

18. Bed sharing

19. Stranded due to weather

20. Next door neighbors

21. Bakery

FLUFF/GENERAL/ROMANCE

1. You seem like a bad boy/girl/person type. 2. Oh my god, did you just say that out loud? 3. You expecting someone? 4.Do you need a place to stay for tonight? 5. Look at us, we’re basically a couple already. 6. Compliments won’t pay my drinks. 7. Maybe, just maybe, if I get a free drink I might consider talking to you. 8. That won’t work. Try again. 9. You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions. 10. Do you trust me? 11. Can I kiss you? 12. It’s lonely here without you. 13. Is that my shirt? 14. You own my heart. 15. We’re more than friends and you know it! 16. I don’t wanna sleep alone tonight. 17. It was you the whole time. 18. I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending they’re you. 19. I’m not going anywhere. 20. You make me want things I can’t have. 21. Steal the blankets again and I’ll put my cold feet on you. 22. You’re in love with her. 23. I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge. 24. Are you even listening to me?! 25. I didn’t think you could get any less romantic. 26. You make everyday worth living. 27. You’ve shown me what love feels like. 28. You’ve always felt like home. 29. I can’t imagine a world/life without you. 30. I am home. 31. I’m right where I belong. 32. Can’t you stay a little longer? 33. You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to. 34. You make me want to be better. 35. I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me. 36. I think you’re just afraid to be happy. 37. Why haven’t you kissed me already? 38. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 39. I can’t stay away from you. 40. I’m better when I’m with you. 41. I tried my best not to feel anything for you, but I failed. 42. I don’t want to be alone right now.  43. I don’t trust myself around you. 44. I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before. 45. Can we just lie here for a moment? 46. I’ve never hated you. You just... make me feel things I don’t understand. 47. If you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you. 48. I could get used to waking up next to you, actually. 49. Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry. 50. You’re a terrible liar. 51. You’re the only person I want to be with tonight. 52. You’re not going anywhere. 53. You were always good for me. 54. You’re more than just a one night stand. 55. I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met.

ANGST & SAD

1. I can’t stand the thought of you. 2. Don’t fuck this up. 3. How stupid do you think I am? 4. You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry? 5. Don’t you dare to leave me. Not now. 6. I’m dying. There’s nothing you can do about it. 7. I’m not gonna lie. This isn’t how I planned for this to go down. 8. I can’t do the things you do. 9. I might never get another chance to say this. 10. Tell me I’m wrong. 11. How much of that did you hear? 12. I thought I could trust you. 13. Are you just going to leave me here? 14. Don’t. I don’t have to hear your pathetic excuses anymore. 15. You knew about this all along, didn’t you? 16. I still believe there’s a good person in you. 17. It was necessary. 18. I’m sorry this had to go down like this. 19. What the hell is wrong with you?! 20. Is that how little you think of me? 21. I’m too sober for this shit. 22. It’s not that easy. 23. You’re more than that. 24. She’s hot, but she’s evil. 25. Well, behaved women rarely make history, do they? 26. That’s not what I meant and you know it. 27. I have to tell you something. 28. Why am I not surprised? 29. She’s not yours. 30. There’s no us. There never was. 31. I made a mistake. 32. Please, don’t walk out that door. 33. When were you going to tell me? 34. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you. 35. Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds? 36. If i asked you to stay, would you? 37. I don’t know who you are anymore. 38. I trusted you. 39. Hang on. You’re gonna be okay. Keep breathing. 40. You crossed a line. 41. There’s no turning back from this. 42. I needed you, and you weren’t there.

SMUT — 18+

1. Don’t make me take you home and punish you. 2. I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly. 3. You’re more than just a one night stand. 4. Like what you see? 5. Try to stay quiet, understand? 6. We’re in public, you know. 7. I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now. 8. Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop. 9. Make me. 10. Stop teasing me so much. 11. You’re in trouble now. 12. First one to make a noise loses. 13. Mine. 14. Behave. 15. What did you just say? 16. Come here. 17. Watch me. 18. If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god. 19. If you insist. 20. Could he make you feel as good as i do? 21. You make a sound and its game over. 22. If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week. 23. I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet. 24. C’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working. 25. What? Does that feel good? 26. If we get caught i’m blaming you. 27. We have to be quiet. 28. Tell me again. 29. Say it. 30. If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning? 31. I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole. 32. You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll. 33. I really want to kiss you right now. 34. Then do it. 35. You’re not taking me to bed. Ever. 36. Who said it had to be on the bed? 37. She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips. 38. Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. Thats cute. 39. Don’t fucking touch what is not yours. 40. I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not. 41. There’s people here. 42. I don’t care what you do,  just fuck me. 43. Fuck you. 44. I’m not going to touch you unless you beg. 45. You can’t tease me like that and expect not to be punished. 46. I’m gonna strangle you. 47. Is that a promise? 48. You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later? 49. Stop distracting me. 50. I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that. 51. Saddle up doll. 52. What are you doing in my bed?! 53. If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat. 54. You'd better be quiet or everyone's going to know what a naughty little slut you are. 55. Look at you, I've only started using my fingers and you're already shaking. 56. I can't wait to be on my knees for you later. 57. Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn't tease me. 58. If you keep making those sounds I'm not going to be able to stop myself. 59. Such a needy little thing, aren't you? 60. You better watch your fucking mouth. 61. I love the way you look with my fingers inside you. 62. Wanna see what I'm wearing underneath all this? 63. I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now. 64. Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting. 65. If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I'm going to bend you over that bed. 66. I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me. 67. Let me show you what happens to little brats who don't follow the rules. 68. You know, there wasn't a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Audrey Roget

Audrey Roget has 10 fics at Gossamer, with some different ones at AO3, fanfiction.net, and her website. You might know her from her very good fics or as part of Musea, a collective that all wrote fic and posted X-Files fic recs. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas and The Shirt. Big thanks to Audrey for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)? A little, yes. Not so much by folks who were around in those days. I sometimes go hunting for beloved stories from the early years, both those I read and loved, and those I never got around to. I am always delighted to hear that later generations of fans have stumbled across my stuff, especially since I haven��t posted anything new in a number of years. It’s fantastic that both years-long fans and new ones are out there continuing to rec fic from all eras, and to maintain archives for fans yet-to-be born. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general? It may sound corny, but the main thing I think of, and the thing that has ultimately been most valuable and lasting, has been the friendships. The feeling of having found a tribe – not just of TXF fans, but of other people who could be as enthusiastically engaged as I was (if not more so) with fictional stories and characters – was mind-blowing. Since I was a kid, I had often mulled over the books/movies/TV I loved and speculated internally about what happened off the page or off-screen, or created new stories for characters in my head. But, except for an elementary school phase where I and my two BFFs regularly played Charlie’s Angels, I hadn’t engaged in that kind of gleeful immersion in a fictional world with others until TXF fandom. My involvement in fandom followed pretty quickly from getting hooked on the show, so for me, it’s all one big ball of experiences. Even as my interest in/involvement in fandom has waxed and waned over the years, I’ve been lucky to remain friends with wonderful people who I originally connected with as fellow fans.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)? What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

My initial entrée to the fandom was through fanfiction. I didn’t get interested in the show until mid-season 5. Around the same time, I read an article in a zine called Might (co-founded by Dave Eggers) about this thing called fanfiction that people would write and publish online. At first I thought it was satire or a joke – the fic cited involved Wilma Flintstone and a polished sabre tooth, as I recall – but then realized this was an actual thing. So I figured that a show then at the peak of pop culture must have fanfiction, and I went looking. Early on, I scrolled atxc on a daily basis and downloaded stories. But I didn’t engage in discussions about the show on Usenet, since I only knew how to access it with my Earthlink email client, and I didn’t want to post using my real name.

Later, I set up a pseud address with Yahoo and subscribed to a couple of email fanfic/discussion lists, and stayed subscribed to those for years. There was also a period in there somewhere – of maybe only a year or so, when I think about it – when I’d often nerd out into the wee hours with other fans via IM chat groups. That was around the time the small writers’ collective Musea was founded, and we were active for several years after the show’s initial run. In the early aughts, I followed many authors to LiveJournal and eventually set up my own account and stayed involved in fandom that way, until it mostly dispersed as well. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? In a word: Chemistry. I had casually watched a couple of episodes during the first four seasons, but I’m not a huge sci-fi/horror fan at heart, and the story lines didn’t immediately grab me. But I happened to tune into The Red and the Black in 1998, and BOOM. For the first time, the intense layers of emotion and attraction between Mulder and Scully really struck me – and then of course, upon further viewing, I realized it was unmissable, an essential element in the fabric of the show. As a wise woman once said, a switch had been flicked. Mulder and Scully’s magnetism was like nothing I’d ever seen, and though I eventually came to appreciate the storytelling, humor, production values, and other components that made the series so successful, watching those characters interact has always been what kept me coming back. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files? I was part of a list-serv discussion group for The West Wing for a while, which was a fun melding of character and plot analysis with political discussion. Later, I got into the House, MD fandom, again mostly as a fanfic reader/writer. I was finding that other fandoms, unlike TXF, were more dispersed, the networks of people structured more loosely, if at all. There were fanfic and discussion communities on LiveJournal, and fanfiction.net was the other main hub for posting and reading, but if there was anything centralized like Gossamer, Ephemeral, or the Haven, I never found it. Within all those fan communities, as in TXF, there were partisans for various characters and pairings, and flame wars erupted over plot developments that outraged this faction or that. One main difference was that those other shows had larger, ensemble casts and more varied subplots. So on one hand, there was more opportunity to explore back stories and multiple perspectives. In House MD in particular, there were several entrenched rival shipper camps, which were about equally grounded in canon, rather than TXF’s central ship. I was less into TWW fic, but my impression was that readers were less militant about their pairing preferences than TXF or House fans. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I was deeply fascinated by Greg House for several years. (And the love-hate chemistry between him and Lisa Cuddy was a strong draw for me.) House MD came early in a wave of TV shows centered on anti-heroes, and Hugh Laurie brought amazing complexity and thoughtfulness to the character.

Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) are a lethal pair of antiheroes. The inherent moral conflict of a sympathetic narrative from their POVs, and the global political conflict they embody was TV catnip for me. The internal struggles at the hearts of those characters were so exquisitely written and performed, they completely fascinate me.

The West Wing felt so much like a show created specifically for me. I’m especially fond of story arcs and scenes that centered on CJ Cregg, Charlie Young, and Josh Lyman. Though I loved Martin Sheen’s human portrayal of Jed Bartlet, the fact that he was the President always made him a little untouchable in my mind. But CJ, Charlie, and Josh were basically hard-working functionaries who were ambitious and idealistic and funny and flawed, and they spoke to me. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I do continue to think about Mulder and Scully and watch episodes somewhat often. I’ll sometimes run a favorite episode as background when I want something comforting on. I read TXF fic pretty regularly, which can inspire me to go back and watch a particular episode or story arc I haven’t thought about in years. Just recently, I started listening to The X-Files Diaries podcast (@XFDPodcast, @admiralty-xfd), and that’s a fun dive into the characters, and how other fans react to and interpret episodes.

Every once in a while, a TV show or movie – and more particularly, the characters – will grab my attention and make me curious about how fanfic writers have interpreted the original material. Random example, I saw Singin’ in the Rain for the first time in a theatre a couple of years ago, and the chemistry of the three leads sent me to AO3 as soon as I got home. I also loved the first season of Mercy Street and found some well-done stories in that fandom. I usually peruse the Yuletide gifts every year and have been amazed by the sheer variety, creativity and cheekiness of the output. There are a bunch of other shows I’ve followed faithfully, and sought out fanfic – Broadchurch, The Killing, Agents of SHIELD, Elementary, The Good Wife. Although I’ve found some well-written stuff in those fandoms, I’ve rarely gotten the same charge from them as reading TXF fic. Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

syntax6 (@syntax6) – Universal Invariants/Laws of Motion. I’d also shout out to syn’s Hunter fics, too – well worth reading even for those who have never seen or particularly loved the show itself.

JET – I re-read Small Lives Awake every year around Thanksgiving time. Other annual holiday re-reads: Revely’s The Dreaming Sea and Jordan’s Through the Fire (both set at Halloween).

Amal Nahurriyeh’s Casey universe – the rare post-col fic that felt hopeful, made extra intriguing by a kick-ass original character. [Lilydale note: the series starts with Machines of Freedom and has lots of additional fics and snippets.]

Prufrock’s Love – Finding Rokovoko was genuinely terrifying and tender.

melforbes (@melforbes) – Seaglass Blue is a recent favorite, lyrical and bittersweet.

These are just a few (apologies to those that didn’t come to mind immediately). Fortunately for readers, there’s an astonishing number of authors who have written in TXF fandom whom you can depend on for a good yarn, insightful character study, and/or ingenious “fixes” where 1013 went awry.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Probably the two set in my own (former) backyard of Southern California: Enivrez-vous and Ravenous. I’d first read the Baudelaire poem that was the source of the former’s title back in university days, so I was tickled to be able to use a few lines as an epigraph. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online? It’s not out of the realm possibility. I’d meant for “Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas” to be followed up with “And One Time She Did.” In fact, the idea for that never-finished story was what inspired “Three Times” in the first place. I have a couple of scenes sketched out and – unusually for me – even know exactly how to end it. Every year, November rolls around, and I think I should finish and post it…maybe in 2021?

Where do you get ideas for stories? Sometimes it’s from my environment. “Enivrez-vous” and “Ravenous” describe places that I’m fond of, that made me want to place Mulder and Scully there. “What Not to Wear” has that element too – I set it in Memphis as a tribute to a great trip there with a sister Musean. But WNTW was also inspired by a kink challenge in a years-ago LiveJournal thread, so sometimes ideas come from fandom discussions or even other fanfics. In the House MD fandom, a fic by another writer made me want to continue the story, and the author kindly allowed an authorized sequel. What's the story behind your pen name? I wanted my pseudonym to sound like it could be a real person’s name – or at least, maybe like a romance writer’s pen name – rather than an online handle. I also wanted to use a slightly obscure fictional character, to amuse anyone in the know. I had long had a bit of an obsession with Whit Stillman’s 1990s film trilogy, which started with Metropolitan; the 3rd installment, Last Days of Disco, came out the same year I started down the TXF rabbit hole: 1998. The central heroine of Metropolitan – who is mentioned in or makes a cameo in the other two – is Audrey Rouget, a lover of Austen and, eventually, a book editor. I altered the spelling of the last name as a nod to every writer’s companion, Roget’s Thesaurus. Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions? I have a few close friends – from outside TXF fandom – who know that I’ve written fanfic. I don’t know if they know my pseud; if they do, or if they’ve ready any of the fic, they haven’t said so to me. They are fannish sorts themselves, but not really TXF fans. A smattering of other friends and family members know or could intuit that I’ve been a fangrl on some level for years. My boss, whom I’ve known for about 3 years, recently mentioned off-handedly that she was really obsessed with TXF “back in the day,” and I am DYING to know if she got involved in fandom, but don’t think I’ll ever work up the courage to ask.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now? Most of the X-Files stuff continues to be generously and steadfastly archived by Forte at The Basement Office. The House MD stories and some TXF things are at fanfiction.net; same for AO3. If ever post anything new, it will probably go to TBO and AO3. I really ought to get it all together in one place, one of these days…

(Posted by Lilydale on April 6, 2021)