#on the topic of the break though
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the asks will be scheduled for halloween, but it's greatly appreciated if you send them before then -> Co-Authors Ask Box <-
#not residuum#we have so much inconsequential lore fjdsnfjksn#on the topic of the break though#i have given up any hope of ever being artsy in the winter or summer forgive me#i want to do some other things but god knows if i'll actually do those#i never get writers block god bless (<- currently has art block)
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Dissociated and we got a whole canvas of my fav
#priceghost#ghostprice#im having a soul crushing gastric rn prob from stress so i laid down and drew to take a break#i still got it#i think#Ghost will always be my comfort guy to doodle#my blorbo.....#as you can tell i found a brush i like!! that is similar to my krita brush :))))))) im so happy about it#if the vibes are true and the stars align and our prediction game is right...the questions tomorrow MIGHT repeat from our seniors#praying...hoping...#though I do not recommend predicting questions#I still studied every other topics just to be on the safe side#my simon riley is great at giving massages#and he likes a guy who can beat him up (price)#is anybody gonna match his freak#u know that one audio where a guy went âI need a woman who can kill meâ yeah that is simon riley LOL#anyways#i'll survive i think#gummmyart#doodle#simon ghost riley#captain john price
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"Honestly, I don't really care why she lost. I care why he won."
- Desi Lydic
#that sums it up perfectly imo#Kamala Harris#donald trump#2024 presidential election#us election#The Daily Show#us politics#Desi Lydic#y'all really went into this with your eyes wide shut huh?#in my country we have a nice little saying that goes#the stupidest cattle will vote for their own butchers#I really hope all the people going on and on about how she wasn't focussed enough on x topic#even though I can 100% guarantee you that her position was still 13 times better than the rotten pumpkin ones#and therefore didn't vote or voted third party are real fucking proud of themselves#my heart breaks for those who didn't enable this and still have to suffer the consequences#stay strong#politics
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I'm slowly making my way through a new project- editing the entirety of the album PUNCH by Autoheart to the Life Series.
I was originally planning to post all of the edits in order of the songs on the album, but I instead made the Lent one first and am too excited to keep it in my drafts any longer while I work on the first four songs of the album (especially since we're coming up on finals seasons and the amount of time I'll have to work on these is gonna plummet so fast). So instead, I'll be posting them as I make them and make a masterpost of them all in order at the end.
That being said, I hope you enjoy this! I'm really proud of it and a lot of work went into it.
#life series smp#trafficblr#third life smp#last life smp#double life smp#limited life smp#goodtimeswithscar#grian#desert duo#autoheart/life series project#my edits#my art#everyone has to be so nice to me about the audio desync-ing in some places it does that whenever i export it and i can't fix it </3#i COULD tag this one as ship but im not gonna#i DO mean it like that. but like it's just canon clips it can be read however you so choose#also if youve been following me for a little bit youll know i did part of this edit once before#i did the bridge when the afk session came out#and then that plus cherrifire's crane lives project inspired me to assign the whole album to the series#and i was ORIGNALLY planning to do a project like she did w/ the thumbnails#but i couldnt get myself to actually DO IT and also i did map out an entire animatic to factories at one point.#which. on the topic of that. factories or anniversary will be the next ones#anniversary has been started but not fully mapped out whereas factories has been fully mapped out but not started#we'll see which one catches my eye enough first#but all the songs HAVE been assigned so if nothing else i know the gist of what i'm doing for every song#this will definitely be a multi-month project though since one of these takes me a few days to finish#though finals season approaching also means winter break is approaching so who knows! maybe ill bang all of them out in december#(DO NOT HOLD ME TO THAT OH MY GOD)
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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Say it with me: I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers, I will not look at spoilers-
#no judgement to people who do#i just know that i'm always too damn tempted#but i don't actually want to look at spoilers#i have spoiler tags blocked#but sometimes i still click on it even tho i haven't watched the thing yet#squid game#putting this into the tag cause right now this is mostly about squid game#cause with the video today#*clenching my fists* i will not go on reddit and look at the spoiler posts I Will Not#also i spoilered myself so hard for yellowjackets season 3#found out who pit girl is Because i clicked on a post that was specifically tagged as yellowjackets s3 spoilers#even though i hadn't seen s3 yet#well that's my own fault#but that why i'll really try to avoid it now#luckily i have all of squid game s3 release day to myself i even put it in the family calendar#so i will be ready to watch as soon as i wake up#i'll try to avoid going on tumblr until i have finished the season#cause no way i'm getting spoilered#also i feel like i keep liveblogging when i don't actually want to#so i want to not do that this time cause it's kinda exhausting#maybe i'll make a little post after i finish each episode to gather my thoughts#also cause i always hate when a season releases in full and you can't really appreciate each episode as its own arc#so maybe i'll always do like a 15 minute break after each episode comes out to just process for a bit#but anyways i got off topic#i'll draw something now#and remembet my besties: be strong and try to stay away from spoilers#you can do it i believe in you it's less than two weeks <3#lea's random thoughts#squid game season 3#i'm drawing cute jibyeok right now <3
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imo they really did such a good job with York's characterization during PFL, because by the time Tex's break in happens in s10, you don't think about how her recruiting him for that conveniently establishes why she seeks him out again in Out Of Mind, you think, "oh, of course she knows she can trust York for help, of course he says yes."
#'it's agent Texas - and her damn partner in crime' (said in the most disdainful southern accent you've ever heard)#i am so normal about him#this post brought to you by me thinking to myself 'god it means so much to me that York is the one that helps Tex break into the MoI'#as if it's not retroactively setting up a 4 episode mini series that came out years prior#agent york#rvb#ab talks rvb#i have been speedrunning all the stages of grief for the past week thinking about yorkalina#and how neither of them compromised their beliefs for each other#and how york didn't regret that choice (though it broke his heart) and carolina did#'i wish she had learned to let things go...i guess i should too'#'york was my chance at a fresh start...i threw it down an elevator shaft'#i have gotten deeply off topic here but that's just how the brain worms go#the point is just that they did a good job establishing york's convictions and beliefs and it makes Out Of Mind so much better#red vs blue
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14 JUNI, 2019 âž° VRIJDAG, 15:47 PT. III
#Skam#wtFOCK#ZoĂ« Loockx#Jana Ackermans#Luca Lomans#Yasmina Ait Omar#Amber Snoeckx#Zoenne#Veerle Dejaeger#Femke Van Der Steen#Yara Veyt#Nora Dari#Nona Janssens#wtFOCKEdit#SkamRemakesEdit#Skamverse#SkamverseDaily#s2#2x08#ZoĂ« Loockx I love you#Jana Ackermans I love how much you love ZoĂ« I love you#when J says 'You?' it breaks me every time#I wrote a lot about it once when I made parallels of s2 & skfr s10's storylines#all because of this 'You?'#never posted it anywhere though because people are usually crickets when it comes to this topic here on tumblr *eyeroll*#it's great that this scene has always been mentioned whenever they get asked their fave scenes from the show tho =')#luckily Iâve had the opportunity to tell Veerle many times how much her portrayal of ZoĂ« means to me#but I doubt my words would ever convey my feelings properly#:')
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Uhh so I blacked out, andâ

#AHAHAHA okay this fic has been in the works since I started this break#I wanted to post something for when I come back... ;v;#It's not actually going to be this long though#Because it's unedited#Too many tangents#It'll probably just be like 10k or something (3k worth of tangents JAJDJSJD)#Why is it so much easier to write 10k for a fic than writing 2k for homework#yapping toad#AH YES this is also my first time using gdocs for writing fics...#I usually just use my note app...#I wanted to be able to work on this fic as I'm taking breaks from homework though; so I decided to try it out...#It's pretty fun!#AUGH I GOT A NOTIFICATION FROM MY PROFESSOR JUST NOW#PLEASE IT'S TOO LATE FOR THIS#BACK TO THE TOPICâI heard there was a way to directly move your stuff from gdocs to AO3?#I'll look it up when this fic is finished...#If it's true then I'll never look back AHAHAHA formatting is the biggest pain#Noânevermind. Sitting in front of your laptop all day long for entire months is the biggest pain#I haven't had the time to move around since this semester started...#My body feels 5 times older KSFKSJD#See that? That's what you call a tangent#Why am I incapable of not going into tangents#A conversation that would last 5 minutes usually end up going on for hours when I go into my tangents#Aaand I got into a tangent about going into tangents#OH YEAH ACTUALLY writing isn't TOO brainrot-inducing in comparison to consuming content by other Tr*yJ*d*-ers#Fanworks made by others have always induced way more brainrot for me#Perhaps it's the cringe factor#Though it'd be a lie if I said that I never go insane from the brainrot while writing#It's a different brainrot though.... How should I even word this......#OH NO I RAN OUT OF TAGS. AGAIN. OKAY BYE
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i don't know why but over the past couple of months i've gotten obsessed with the various underutilized evil women of inanimate insanity. like i just woke up one morning and went "man.... i really like teddy bear walkie talkie and springy". my favorite character (knife) is too important and popular so i had to get some weird kinda niche guys to balance out my tier list i guess
#âbut mal springy is a guyâ TO YOU MAYBE.#springy is a beautiful she/they to me. my human design for her had those big teto twin drill pigtails. you simply would not understand it#also its funny calling knife important because pre-truth or flare he was dangerously closed to being washed#he'd have like one kinda important scene per episode and then they'd shove him back in the grave they dug for him#more knife content in s4 or else i will DIE. and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT ADAM#closer to the topic of the actual post though. episode where the failed debuters and the unvitational committee break out of Hell together#i need walkie and teddy bear to have some kind of weird homoerotic tension while springy watches uncomfortably#i need to spread my walkiespringy divorced yuri agenda
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oh so alisaieâs exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more âshamefulâ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. itâs fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or theyâll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred đ«” do this thing where they have big emotions but they donât want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesnât have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. heâs got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didnât learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and heâs#HILARIOUS. Donât tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasnât learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if theyâre having fun#and try to stop her if theyâre not having fun. case in point âwhat is that supposed to mean?!â vs âalisaie ryne was only trying to help.â#I know theyâre twins but thatâs such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actionsâ#Iâm not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. âhaha you like meâ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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I wrote about Dana Scully and Gillian Anderson in my assignment and got âš 30/30 âš
#it was actually a deep and depressing assignment talking about masculinity and feminity#and I had to watch a documentary called ''Miss Representation'' (which I recommend watching btw even though it's oldish)#and then talk about how women are portrayed in media and so I talked about Scully because even though I just started TXF-#I love her so much and she's a powerful character and truly an icon and I genuinely mean that wholeheartedly#anyways my professor LOVED my essay and said she would have loved to talk to me in person about my thoughts (online class)#but I'm glad it's an online class because respectfully ma'am- I am TERRIBLE at talking about my thoughts in person!#and I'm almost equally terrible at writing my thoughts down and have to constantly take breaks on my assignment because I get overwhelmed#anyways not to toot my own horn but I was worried about my assignment and was surprised by the feedback#I had other topics about masculinity and feminity besides writing about how women are portrayed and treated in media-#but I'm glad I was able to talk about Scully and how Gillian was treated at times (and I wanted to talk more but couldn't due to time)#Dana Scully I love you đ«¶#dana scully#gillian anderson#personal
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Wooooo late night storm overthinking time where they just shove it all intoa tumblr post for no good fucking reason. Like 4 people are ever gonna see this n give two shits about me throwin a fit anyways. And thatâs assuming it doesnt just get lost in the backlog.
God. Late nights are a double edged swordâŠ
#strom.txt#vent#god. sometimes i dont know why i hate dms so much. some people im okay with. others im not#i know theyâre busy. theyâre all busy with life shit while im just wasting away trying to put together SOMETHING#that wont make my parents fucking disown me or some fucked up shit like that.#and im not even doing that properly. my stupid fucking ass is sitting here. waiting for something thatâll never come#dms just are too open i guess.#no topic. No predefined âthis is what we do here!â thing. not categorized at all. makes me feel like im intruding#im treading on ground that makes me uneasy and i dont even know if itâs because of the people#or if itâs because of me. but im more leaning on the latter since ive always deferred to#who i subconsciously view as in charge. im never in charge. all i can do is follow and wait for the opportunity to steer slightly towards#where i wanna go.#i know its dumb to think this way. my doc knows. i know. my s/o knows even my fucking cats know#but itâs a hard habit to break especially if its being reinforced Constantly#so here i am wasting away drawing other peopleâs characters but not my own#because I cannot see myself in places i do not belong#so i cannot put my characters in places they do not belong#*sighs* i really need to ger bettee at being assertive even if slightly#the amount of anxiety it wracks up though. makes the joy a little less worth it sometimes
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We were doing a roleplay thread of OoA. Mikoto (well, John) follows Kotoko to Mahiru's cell, and they tear the place apart.
Good thing Mappi wasn't around, but that's got to be a terrible thing to return to...
(Prompt?)
Mmm that's such an interesting thought -- the attack taking place in the room of the one person unaffected. The survivors guilt is Insane smh -_- I tried to lean into Mappi's voice and mindset for this, I'm not sure how it'll read but I'm super satisfied with the character study it gave me!
Every good housewife knows that a tidy home is a happy home. She knows how to take care of a tiny amount of clutter, since something as small as that can ruin the atmosphere. She knows how to approach larger disorganization before it causes distraction and agitation. The thing they donât teach housewives, however, is how to handle a living space that has been wholly spattered with blood. At least, they hadnât in any of the online articles that Mahiru had read.Â
The woman hovered in the entryway to her cell, her hands brought up by her chest in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. The others had informed her that the dayâs fight ended up in her cell, but sheâd only been grateful she was away when it happened. It hadnât even crossed her mind that the room may not be suitable to sleep in.
The door clicked behind her, locking her in for the night.
Furniture and possessions lay scattered across the floor. Her pillow and sheets had been flung about. She wouldnât mind returning them to the bed if they were just kicked around the ground, but even in the dim light (her favorite lamp now lay in glass shards) she could see that they each held dark splotches of blood. The color was streaked across the floor, clinging to the back wall as well.Â
Maybe nobody had thought to warn her about the state of the cell since there werenât any huge puddles of the stuff, or because the lamp was really the only thing that had been broken. Mahiru told herself that they were probably too absorbed in the victimsâ physical conditions to give it a second thought. It didnât help the hurt rising in her chest â they could have said something. It would have taken two seconds to think about her and mention it. She could have at least brought a bucket and a sponge inside before curfewâŠ
She bit down hard on her quivering bottom lip, scolding herself for feeling such self pity.
How dare she be anything but joyful that she made it out of today alive. So what, she had a little blood in her cell? It was better than that being her blood spilled somewhere. How dare she not be spending every moment in reverent gratefulness that the others made it out of today alive. Maybe itâd be rough to stay in the cell until morning, but at least she was guaranteed to make it through the night.
Fuuta and Amaneâs faces flashed in her mind. She drew in a shaky breath. There had been nothing in her online articles about a situation like that.
But moping around never helped any household. The door was locked, so there was no chance of anyone coming back to cause any more mess. Though she couldnât do anything directly for Fuuta or Amane, she could start drawing up a list of gifts and favors and favorite meals she could cook. It would be silly for her to cry now, with things going so well.
She should be happy. She should be happy. She should be happy.
And so she was. Mahiru used a scarf as a makeshift broom to sweep up the glass â every good housewife knows that safety comes first! She hummed a favorite tune as she collected the other objects around the room. The song wavered only once, though it returned with full force. She sang the cheery chorus with passion as she found one of her earrings had been crushed underfoot. It would make a fun DIY fix in the next few weeks â she always did love crafts!Â
Once everything was straightened out, she moved to her closet. It was looking more bare after her verdict, but there were still plenty of things to choose from for what she had in mind. She picked out her thickest of clothes and laid them on the floor in a colorful, comfy arrangement â it would be the cutest little campout! In fact, if she pinned up her throw blanket in just the right way, it reminded her of younger years making pillow forts and having sleepovers. A little change in scenery can go a long way. Sheâd read that on a travel blog once, though sheâd never truly believed it until now.Â
She adjusted the blanket with a smile. As she curled up on a particularly soft sweater, she commended herself on the ingenuity. Sheâd gotten the room under control in less than an hour. If she could take on a project like this, just think of how happy a home she could run someday.Â
Indeed, the space was downright adorable inside. One would never even know things had gotten so bad, she thought. One would never even know there was blood on the walls, just outside.
#milgram#order of attack#mahiru shiina#thank you for the request pal!!#i know theres no dialogue but i hoped giving the narration a bit of her flavor would keep it interesting still#i debated on including a conversation with shidou but nothing was new -- it was more interesting to see how she reacted herself#toxic positivity and societal expectations and in denial mappi my beloved (*cries*)#i had a bit more about her daydreaming about her future household/husband but it got too off topic#and i didnt want it to seem like that was the issue#i think having dreams of being a housewife is such a normal and healthy thing -- its mahirus willful denial of complex life plans that#makes it an issue....#it was so funny writing this one along with the last request because i got to dig into her mind and show how even though she#seemed happy and safe at the end there were deeper issues going on#and then i turned around like oh fuuta angst time? lets break his bones.#đđđ#drabbles
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Well then
#I am going to move forward from this#I am just a person who likes to draw and tell stories#I am simple and perhaps a little boring too#however#depending on how Iâm approached#I do tend to not know how to deal with confrontation regardless of topic#if I was confronted about this like a normal human being instead of getting send harassments#perhaps this could have been settled by now and we all moved on#I was told to take accountability#that wasnât enough for you#but then I was told to apologize even though you claimed you didnât want one#you complained about that#you complained that I had you blocked#I unblocked so that you could see the post#you complained that I had you UNBLOCKED#I blocked you again#you complained about not wanting me to contact him#yet he contacted me#and you complained that I didnât reply#I see what this is#no matter what I do the bar moves#I am not gonna grovel#i already lost almost everyone I talk to here on this hellscape of a site#You donât wanna believe people change in a decade? fine#Youâd still come after me if it was 20 or 30 years ago anyway!!#please seek therapy#Iâve been doing the same#and perhaps we should all learn to take long breaks from the internet for once#as of now I still have you and all of your accounts blocked#so if you SOMEHOW see this letâs just shake hands and go our separate ways
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.
#tag talk#talking someone down from a panic attack is highkey really fun. I get to take control of the situation and turn it into a brain exercise#like typing commands into a terminal.#I get to roleplay Hannibal but ethically. but I still get that feeling of control over someone who's out of control and out of touch.#kinda hot tbh. but I'm being very self controlled because I'm aware that's very unethical to take advantage of and I want this#want this friendship to grow and be healthy instead of toxic and awful. plus he's a very nice guy and I don't actually want to break my toy#this is like.. almost exactly how I ended up topping my college boyfriend though. and that didn't turn out well#it was really hot. but not great. so you know. I'm not going to.#plus he lives nowhere near me so there's no point to it anyway. I wouldn't get those juicy emotional coercion vibes#but I get why people have interrogation kinks now I think.#and like.. little things like using the names of people he accidentally lets slip to give myself more authority with primary knowledge.#keeping things simple and direct. avoiding asking about emotional topics but stuff like dates and timelines.#this is so fun. people are like minigames and I am going to get a high score here.#every little detail he drops is another little piece I get to pick up and poke him with.#anyway. his new partner is online so I'm gonna drop the pressure and back off. but damn that was a really fun hour and a half.#I feel so comfortable talking to emotionally fucked up people in a way that i never am around emotionally healthy people#anyway. people are so fun and I love playing with them it's so cool.
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