#on the other hand if any of my irls ever find this i'll have to throw myself off a bridge but thats like. a future problem.
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heynhay · 2 years ago
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*fnaf kids cheering noise*
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lapisdeiii · 2 years ago
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"your desires,my darling?" Are you serious 😃😵‍💫🫠😳😇 AnyWAY. Your first Zhongli HC was... intense. Would you like making a second part for.. the general public 🤭 Im sure everyone would appreciate it
𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗗𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗬 𝗭𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜 𝗣𝗧 𝗜𝗜
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SYNOPSIS : y'all asked and i am delivering again!! since you lovely gems liked my first sugar daddy zhongli headcanons, i'll just give you some more <3. these will have the same tags !! 
WARNINGS : dub-con , manipulation , isolation , forced dependency , financial abuse , gn reader used, daddy kink. forced marriage. nsfw themes
A/N : i do not condone irl yanderes . if you are ever in a situation like this, talk to someone immediately .  goods underneath lol
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zhongli loves you, desperately so. he wants to keep you by his side, perhaps even marry you. he finds that he cannot even dream of a life without you.
but, of course, a silly little thing like you wouldn't want to stay with him for long, and move on to the next thing. what's this? you seem to have taken an interest in a boy at your college? well, that simply won't do! daddy will just have to remind you of why he is the best option!
every night he spoils you, not with just the amazing times you have in bed, but to the perfumes or cologne he purchases. everything he buys you is meant for you and you alone
he'll take you at times to a fancy dinner, but they always end up a little steamy as zhongli takes good care of you under the table, playing with you and mumbling the nastiest things as his gloved hand grips your thigh to keep it from shaking as you cum for the nth time by his hand, and close to the final climax, he pulls away his hands and he whispers that when you both get home, he'll make you a crying and whining mess on the bed. a little treat for being so well behaved and good!
he keeps you in his penthouse. you understand, don't you darling? a man like himself always gets lonely without his little gem to hold and spoil every chance he gets.
you find that at your college, nasty rumors have spread around about yourself, that you are a no good gold digger. your room was trashed, and the door to your dorm was spray painted with nasty words! you run to daddy afterwards and he consoles you, his poor baby. you have no idea it was him that spread those nasty rumors about you, daddy just wanted to make sure no one got too close to you, especially those nasty frat boys and sorority girls!
he'll try to slowly coax you out of college, you seriously don't need that degree darling, daddy will just take care of you for the rest of your life. you worry about getting older and him not loving you anymore? oh sweet thing, he loves you more than life itself, no matter how old you get, daddy will always spoil you rotten.
he'll tell you in that deep velvety rich tone, how much he loves you as he finds purchase in your hips, deeply thrusting into you as you whine and beg for him to stop, your protests muddled with whines of pleasure and need
"daddy! oh daddy hng~! stop, i can't take it any more" you whine out softly, clenching bed sheets as zhongli thrusts hard and fast into you "oh my little gem, you'll let daddy have more right? yes darling you will, mm daddy is addicted to the way you feel" zhongli's hand slides under your chest and his thumb lightly traces your nipple. at this, you let out a sweet moan. "now, daddy wants you to cum a couple more times for me, oh yes.. such a good little gem"
zhongli is a traditional man, and of course like said before, he wants to marry you. he'll pick the perfect month, the perfect day. you won't mind that daddy is an auspicious man right? he wants to marry you at the perfect time, with or without you always agreeing!
he says your relationship is special, not like the other sugar babies before! to him, they are just play things.. but you.. you are his special little gem, the only one of his sugar babies to ever catch his attention and snare him down.
his dream is to have a child with you, move you to his mansion in liyue and keep you as his cute housespouse. you'll be happy with him, he's sure of it!
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these headcanons are more popular than i thought lolol!! i hope you enjoyed my gems!!
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py-dreamer · 11 months ago
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So... I know I'm late...
But yea! I said I was coming back with some stickers and I kept my word! I would've hoped that I could've completed the sheet in like a day but as you can see...that didn't work out
I know I've been a bit MIA lately but burnout sucks. I do have a lot of WIPS I really want to work on but again, it seems that the ProcrastiNation hath struck my feeble mortal brain again.
But anyways:
I headcanon Aroace Mei, just a personal headcanon (disagree if you like) I also like lesbian Mei but thought I'd give some aroace appreciation
Silktea was only given 1 episode but OH BOY did it fuel our wild shipping habits. And I jumped on the bandwagon. It's a reference to that scene in She-Ra where Scorpia tells Catra she 'didn't want to do this' then wraps kitty up in the blankey and cradles her like a wee baby. And Sandy would do that for any friend, I will die on this hill
Saw a fanart where Mk had a pig nose themed pacifier and I just yoinked that idea. The pig hoodie and the pacifier seems like something Tang would do for Pigsy (also to get away with free noodles cause who can say no to that face?~)
Mac showing Wukong the lantern. What can I say, mans' fascinated by them pretty lights. Though our little performer's eyes seem to be straying from the show (^u ')
I know many people have issues with shipping with Nezha and such and I know the two had a rough history but y'know what fans do; they love to make the people who kill each other soulmates (platonic, romantic or otherwise) Even if it wasn't romantic, I still love the idea of them being buddies and just chilling, the danger noodle prince and the angy prince snuggle and watch a movie (mainly from Nezha 2019 but I also saw New Gods and can I just say, I want those two twinks to bicker then kiss awkwardly and I want Yun Xiang to BEAT. HIS. ASS) but in case anyone asks, I do perceive Nezha to be a consenting adult in general outside shipping drama and if the two are adults, it does make my heart squeal when I see these two hold hands and whatnot
HOW COULD I EVER FORGET MY SPICYBOIS, inspired by that one Ponyo kiss scene. I was actually gonna make a bigger piece but then I saw someone do it already in a much better fashion than I ever could and I just gave up on the idea but Ig here, its just like the two cakes mentality and I gave it a go. Hope I could do the concept justice
Have spider queen or scorpion queen ever interacted before? No. But they are both queens and I believe Spider Queen's confidence could rub off on Scorpion Queen and she'd appreciate the company of Spider Queen's children henchmen. Also she give yummy food so lesbian venomqueens for the win
Redraw of that moment with Peng and Azure. I normally detest that bird but these two do get some gears grinding and whatever anyone says. Neither of those two are straight. I'll tell ya that.
Toxicinsanity is another rarepair that had like 1 sec screen time. I don't think they'd ever work out in canon and had virtually no chemistry. I still love all the fluffy ship content I can find of them though and if it ever were to happen. I think the mayor would scare the sh!t out of Syntax
Let's get at least one hetero couple here, Chang'e and Hou'Yi are a couple of favorites ngl, I took most of their outfits from Over the moon cause both of them looked stunning, Chang'e especially. I've seen people ship mah girl with other people and while I do agree it's healthy to move on, in my heart she will always long for Hou'Yi
Also irl, on valentines, my mum took us out for lunch, she treated us to bubble tea and donuts. We walked home so I waited to drink mah drink in my room while I drew and I accidentally finished it all... I'm so sorry mum
f*ck I forgot ironbull. Uhh....I'll draw something later, rn I need to go to bed before I get yelled at...
click pic for less sh!ty quality!
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liesinmyeyes · 27 days ago
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hey, so I'm a new pagan witch and one who has barely practiced anything yet/ has only like 10 pages filled in their book of shadows
i am seeking advice on what to do with myself and my craft and practices, or just hoping someone has felt/currently feels the same way I do because I'm the only pagan witch I know irl and have no one to tell this to.
practicing witchcraft makes me anxious? I haven't really done anything aside from wearing crystal necklaces and sleeping with an amethyst below my pillow, but i'm lowkey afraid to do much more than that because whenever I do research across the internet (don't worry, I don't only take one pinterest source at face value, I make sure to look at other sources on the internet and always check with multiple witchy forums/threads or just simply history sources if the practice is closed/appropriated or should be done as a beginner) - but here is my issue. There's soooo many sources on the internet that tell you so many differing opinions. Some sources will say "NO WAY DON'T EVER DO THAT" while others will go "it's okay and totally safe". I haven't ever read a book abt witchcraft because I know how much TERF-y and culturally appropriate-y agendas they have and the amount of misinformation in a lot of them. I almost got radicalized once before and I told myself "never again", so i'm too afraid to pick up a book half the witches praise for being so good and accurate and half condemn for including TERF bs. I know I should form my own opinions on magic(k) and how I percieve witchcraft but i just get this BOUT of anxiety whenever I see a post anywhere on the internet saying "DONT EVER DO THAT AS A WITCH" or something along those lines... i can never tell what's just gatekeepy fear-mongering and what's an actual closed/dangerous practice anymore and it makes me too afraid to pursue anything because I fear bad things happening to me more than anything. I think it's a side effect of my neurodivergent self wanting to be told exactly what I can and can't do (considering my ethnic identity) and how and when to do it, what moral code to abide by, which is a tough ask in something like witchcraft.
i often feel swayed and get these bouts of guilt for NOT being christian. I grew up areligious in a very christian country with an added sprinkle of shaming people for being religious (which i dont agree with obvs). When I was agnostic and not giving any thought to religion at all, it was fine and dandy. But now that I identify myself as a pagan who worships the greek gods, I often feel, idk, ashamed of it? I'm friends with some very devout christian gals and whenever they talk about going to church or getting their sins forgiven I just feel so guilty and kind of like I'm sinning myself. I feel like I shouldn't be believing in the Gods and should be christian instead, even though SO many of my world views don't align with christianity's teachings and frankly, I don't want to be christian? I want the Gods to be real and I want to worship them. But I often doubt my faith in them and feel the guilt of not being christian like everyone else in my country. Is this a faith issue? On some days I won't doubt the Gods existing at all and feel all happy and uplifted and sure in my faith and on other days I'll be sitting around all day, questioning all my morals and beliefs and questioning whether I'm going to hell for praying to the greek gods. Maybe it's because of all my sorroundings (multiple churches in my town, Jesus statues everywhere, very christian friends) that I feel that way, but if anyone could tell me how to stop these thoughts I'd give ANYTHING to do that. (Not that there's anything wrong with christianity or finding comfort in it, its just that whenever I think about it I get anxious because the concept of eternal torture just for enjoying life on earth scares me. On the other hand, I DO find comfort in worshiping the greek gods. I feel more beautiful, inspired to write, so on and so forth...)
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sunnebeam · 1 year ago
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one more kiss.
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DRABBLE.
pairing: kim seokjin x reader
warnings: smut (minors do not interact), unprotected sex (this is fiction, but please be more responsible irl), angst, cursed!reader, mentions of past deaths in which reader feels responsible for, open-ended (i'll leave it up to ur imaginations what happened next heh)
masterlist + disclaimers.
note: ok so this is just me turning most of my fic ideas into short drabbles just so i can check then off my wip list ^^ so without further ado, here's a drabble for our lovely jin! let me know what u think
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Quiet nights often bring loud thoughts.
Take tonight, for instance. It's rather quiet and peaceful, fluffy clouds filtering the moonlight, no other sounds except for the beat of your heart and his. It's a tranquil night, and for an overthinker like Seokjin, it's a night of loud what-ifs.
What if he kisses you?
He'd love to. You've been together for a while now, yet he never once tasted your lips.
What if you kiss him?
You'd love to, too. But you love him more, and you won't ever let his lips find a home in yours.
You can't.
"Hey," he calls out to you as you're both snuggling blissfully in bed, your clothes and his in rumpled heaps on the floor, the light sheen of sweat covering your bodies a testament to the lewd acts you both just engaged in a few moments prior.
"Hmm," you hum in acknowledgment, your fingers tracing patterns on his skin near where your head lays on his bare chest.
"Do you love me?"
You're tracing your initials now.
"Do you love me?"
"I asked first."
You're tracing his name.
"I do," you finally whisper, and feeling vulnerable, you add, "more than I should."
He halts your fingers' movements and takes your hand in his.
"I do, too," he whispers, bringing your hand to his lips, mindful of your slight hesitation when you feel his plump lips on your skin. "Will you do something for me?"
"Anything."
And that's all the permission he needs.
Flipping you over, he lays you on your back and hovers above you — a position all too familiar in lovers' bedrooms, but not in yours.
"Wait," you say, frightened at the change, "Jin, we can't—"
You've never done this before. You've only ever fucked in positions where he's pounding into you from behind. You've never had sex facing each other before. And for good reason.
He kisses your nose, and you freeze in fright at the action, at the feeling of his lips just a few centimeters from your own.
"Trust me?" he pleads, looking straight into your eyes.
It's not that you don't trust him. It's just that you know he won't be able to resist.
After all, nobody was ever able to resist.
That's just how the curse worked – with your lips luring in their prey, and their victims unable to resist.
"I can't lose you," you tell him, eyes tearing up.
And like a moth to a flame, the moment their lips touch yours...
"You won't."
...they die.
It's why you never let Jin kiss you. It's why you never have sex in missionary. You can't take any chances. You can't.
Too many people have died in the past because of you, because you were careless, because you were reckless. Too many people have died because of your kiss, and you'd be damned if you let Jin be another one of them.
"I thought you understood." A tear slips down your cheek. "I want to, I swear. But it's too dangerous, Jin."
He catches the tear and wipes it away.
"I promise I'll be careful."
Now, Jin has always been honest with you. But tonight – with you in his arms like this, with your resolve starting to waver, and with your tiny nod finally giving him silent permission – he prioritizes your peace of mind over his and decides to lie to you.
He's lying to you as he cradles you in his arms and places kisses on your neck. He's lying to you as he moves his fingers to your wet heat and preps you for him. He's lying to you as he then pumps his cock and slowly slips inside you.
"F-Fuck," you moan at the stretch, hands clutching his shoulders in a death grip. The sensation the unfamiliar position brings is too much for you, and you find yourself nearing your climax in a way you never have before.
"You're so wet," he groans, thrusting into you in a slow, sensual pace, and feeling your pussy clench uncontrollably.
"I'm so close, Jin," you whimper, not even the least bit embarrassed that you'll finish so early.
"Let go, love. It's okay."
He wants you to let go. He needs you to let go of all your fears, your burdens, your inhibitions. Everything.
He wants you to give them all to him. He needs you to let him carry them, shoulder them, bury them. For you.
Because he's your soulmate. Your one true love.
"I'm cumming!" you cry out, reaching your high.
You're coming undone around his cock, your pussy milking him and coaxing him into his own orgasm. He follows just seconds after, spilling inside you and staying there until his dick eventually softens.
He pulls out slowly and looks at you.
Your eyes are closed and you have a small, content smile on your face at this new level of intimacy you just experienced with your lover. And it's that same, content smile that prompts him to do what he does next.
He kisses you.
He kisses you because he always wondered what it would be like to kiss you, always wondered what your lips would taste like on his tongue, always wondered what your lips would feel like pressed against his own.
He kisses you because he always wanted to kiss you, always wanted to feel close to you, always wanted to experience this kind of intimacy with you.
He kisses you because he always thought about what your life would be like if you weren't crippled by your curse.
What if there's a cure? What if there's something he could do? What if, somewhere, somehow, there's a way?
And so tonight, there would be no more what-ifs.
Because he read about curses like yours and there's a theory about how only one thing can fix it.
A true love's kiss.
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COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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crescencestudio · 1 year ago
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Devlog #35 | 09.26.23
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Hi everyone!
Hope the beginning of Fall has been kind to you all <3 To be Frank, it has not been Kind to me LMFAO. But I'll get into that, so let's dive in yippee!
Before I do, someone liked this post recently, which was such a throwback. It was before the full demo was out and everything!! I was so young and full of life. I'm going to sprinkle some comparison shots of the new assets with the old ones to break up the text and also walk down memory lane with me! (Full GUI not shown as I'm still waiting on the assets)
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Chapter Cards (Left: After | Right: Before)
The "Progress"
I'm going to structure this devlog a little differently from the usual template. The main reason being, for those of you who didn't see, I have not been feeling Myself recently.
This month I found myself all out of sorts. While I felt like I was making progress and doing so much everyday read: fighting for my life, when I looked back on things at the end of this month, I didn't feel like I really did much.
On a higher level, I finished fulfilling Kickstarter physical rewards, opened a Kofi shop of the remaining merch, edited Druk's route and continued writing Etza's route, updated assets and code for the updated demo, and then general commission stuff (BGs from Vui, soundtracks from Peter, etc.).
But overall, Alaris felt largely like it was kinda sitting at around the same spot as it did when I entered this month. Which made me a little sad! I had wanted to make So Much Progress on Alaris because next month I won't be able to work on it really. Then, I realized I haven't taken a break from game development since I started it two years ago HA!!!
The Real Progress
Development for me has been back-to-back. Chapter releases every 1-2 months during my first half year of development, Full Demo release shortly after, Kickstarter shortly after, Full Game Development shortly after. When I was feeling burnt out from Alaris, I made intertwine. Then I was Heavily Involved in the development of two games shortly after.
All of this on top of my IRL responsibilities, which include a job, PhD school, and well, functioning as a normal human occasionally.
And then here we are at the end of September 2023, and I'm wondering why even though I creatively want to work on Alaris, I find my brain literally just getting too tired to think.
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Etza CG (Left: After | Right: Before)
I think ever since the Kickstarter, I've put a lot of pressure on myself to consistently put out LOTS of updates for each monthly devlog. I don't want people to think I'm not working on things or I'm not committed to delivering after giving me their hard earned money. But now, with two years under my belt, I'm realizing that is... HMM maybe too high of a standard to put on myself for my first game ever. There are many much more seasoned developers than me who don't put that pressure on themselves (which is Good and Healthy).
So this month, I debated scrounging around and gathering all my crumbs to give you all a devlog that you'll be satisfied with. But I decided ultimately that wouldn't be good for me and would honestly not be the most transparent way to present the current process of things.
And so. Here I am. Head in my Hands. Letting you all know that while I'm not "burnt out," I am.... only human LOL (one human at that). And so some months, like this one, will just not have much progress to report. Not because I'm not working on it or any other deeper reason. But because it's physically impossible and unreasonable for me to be continuously pushing out a steady stream of content.
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In-Game Sprites & BGs (Left: After | Right: Before)
Next month, I'lll be taking a vacation. It's actually my first Big, Official one in a Long Time! I'm very excited for it. And while I did initially think about working on Alaris while I was traveling on trains or things like that, I decided to respect my own need to be a Human and just take a break for once in my life. I don't even want to say I Might work on things, because that sentiment alone will pressure me to make some progress. So yes. Next month, there will be no devlog or updates. But please rest assured, I am "working on Alaris" by letting myself just Exist and Rest Up!
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Not an Alaris screenshot but it is market research that deserves to be included because I played House in Fata Morgana recently and it was Phenomenal!
Thank you all for understanding and your continued support. I'm extremely appreciative to have such a kind and patient community. Hope you all have a wonderful October filled with Fall Treats, and I'll see you in November! <3
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genshingorlsrevengeance · 1 year ago
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Your plushie gift headcannon was adorable, can I get the same thing for the entire team 404
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(GFL) AR Team and Squad 404's S/O making a plushie of them
(AR Team) M4A1, ST AR-15, M4 SOPMOD II, M16A1, RO635
(Squad 404) UMP45, UMP9, G11, and HK416
I desperately wish for plushies of the T-Dolls IRL.
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M4 smiles delightfully upon seeing the stuffed T-Doll, failing to contain her giggle.
(M4A1) "This is adorable, S/O!"
The green strands of cloth stood out among the darker colors, the face expressing a soft smile, much like her own.
(S/O) "Do you like it?"
(M4A1) "I love it, what's the occasion?"
(S/O) "Just...a charm I guess, for good luck. If I made you anything to take out in the field, it'd probably get damaged, so I figured I could make something in your dorm!"
(M4A1) "I'll make sure to take good care of it!"
M4 has the plushie in between a picture of her and S/O and one of the AR Team.
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STAR chuckles when S/O hands her a plushie of herself, noting how comfortable it felt in her hands. Well, her sensors anyway.
There was something endearing about human handmade items rather than factory produced.
(ST AR-15) "Quite the striking resemblance."
STAR remarks in an amused tone as soon as she notices the plushie with a very annoyed look.
(S/O) "Had to stare at my reference quite a bit."
(ST AR-15) "Heh, so I've noticed. I'll make sure it doesn't get dusty."
STAR hides the plushie under her blanket, not wanting to get teased by the rest of the AR Team, specifically by M16A1 or SOPMOD.
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SOPMOD squeals upon seeing her plushie, squeezing it tightly and then admiring the little details.
Her face was possibly the most expressive she had seen, the eyes were giant white circles, and the mouth was a smug squiggle.
(S/O) "Like it?"
(SOPMOD) "LOVE IT! It's soooo cute!"
She quickly takes S/O into a hug, one that threatened to be spine shattering with how hard she held them.
(SOPMOD) "I wish I could take it with me into battle, but it'll watch over me when I go to sleep!"
SOPMOD holds onto it when she sleeps with zero shame in whoever sees it, bragging about S/O's craftsmanship to any T-Doll or human personnel who asks about it.
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M16's eye goes wide as she sees what S/O has given to her.
The plushie was lovingly recreated, the scar and eyepatch were there, so was her case, and a tiny bottle of jack daniel's in its hand.
Though the facial expression made her look drunk, which wasn't entirely inaccurate.
(M16A1) "Do I really look like that when I drink?"
(S/O) "Eh, not really. Figured I'd take some artistic liberties, so to speak."
(M16A1) "I think it made the end result better."
She laughs and kisses her S/O on the cheek.
(M16A1) "Little me is cute, thanks S/O!"
The plushie sits next to M16's pillow in the dorm, showing it off to M4A1 and excitedly talking about how awesome it was to her.
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RO is immediately flustered when S/O presents a tinier version of herself.
(RO635) "W-What is this?"
(S/O) "It's a tinier you!"
She admires how much of her features transferred over to such a small stuffed toy, but she can't help but be a bit shy as well.
That meant that was a lot of time staring at her when she didn't realize and other T-Dolls certainly have.
She bashfully accepts the gift and making sure to smile. RO was genuinely happy to receive something so thoughtful, and it made her start thinking of how to pay S/O back immediately.
(RO635) "I'll treasure it always, S/O. J-Just, please don't mention this to the rest of the AR Team, okay?"
RO makes sure to hide where only she can see it and no one else can ever find it. She would not be able to live down M16 seeing her with something so..."cutesy", as M16 would say.
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45 starts laughing the moment S/O presents a miniature version of herself.
A whole plushie of herself kind of defeats the point of being in a Black Ops Unit, seeing as she wasn't supposed to exist in any capacity.
But, she's willing to make an exception.
(UMP45) "Heh, even the plush looks smug."
(S/O) "I wonder where it got that from?"
(UMP45) "Couldn't say.~"
She makes sure to take care of the plush whenever she's back in her dorm, finding herself staring at it with a soft smile more than once.
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UMP9 gasps in excitement the moment she lays her eyes on the plush, inspecting it with great enthusiasm as she made sure to stand close to S/O.
(UMP9) "Oh, you even got my hair right! And the smile is really cute too!"
(S/O) "I had to make sure to get the most important details, after all!"
She gives S/O a big hug as she continues to admire the plush.
(UMP9) "I love it! Now, how about I try to make a plushie of you? That way tiny me can have her lover too?"
(S/O) "You know how to make plush dolls?"
(UMP9) "Hm...Not really, but I'm sure I can do it if I tried hard enough!"
Upon making a quite scuffed version of S/O, she has it sit lovingly next to her own plush. Both of them always remain without a single speck of dust.
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(G11) "Hm...S/O, why did you wake me u-?"
11's drowsy eyes suddenly become wide awake the moment she sees a miniature version of herself.
Slowly grabbing it and examining it, the details begin to make themselves known as she slowly wakes herself up.
(S/O) "I thought your body pillow could use a bit of company!"
(G11) "...I like it a lot."
Her voice was still very quiet, but the smile on her face was very noticeable.
(G11) "If that was it, I'll sleep with the plushie right now."
Whenever she sleeps (which was extremely often), she hugs onto the plushie, as well as her body pillow. Sometimes S/O too, if there was space.
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416 says nothing as her expression quietly beams upon seeing the miniature version of herself.
Seeing how much detail was put into it, it made her quite happy. After all, a perfect T-Doll such as herself should look good in any capacity.
(S/O) "Do you like it?"
(HK416) "It is almost perfect, but there is one thing holding it back. Why is the plushie so angry looking?"
S/O just smiled at her teasingly.
(HK416) "Hey, just what exactly are you implying?"
Seeing S/O laugh at her reaction makes her pout.
(HK416) "Fine, keep your secrets then. I'll make sure your effort is not gone to waste."
The soft smile on her face as she stares at S/O's handiwork tells them what her true feelings were.
No Soul or T-Doll will ever see the plushie. If they do and bring it up to her, they'll regret it.
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sincerely-sofie · 7 months ago
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I saw your tag about meeting your boyfriend because of posting on Tumblr and I'm very curious as to how that happened. Like, did you find each other's blogs, saw you had stuff in common and met up IRL? What happened? Please give us details (if you're willing to talk about it, no worries if not!)
Also, for a boyfriend tag, may I suggest... Calcium. Cuz you're a skeleton and calcium makes bones stronger... I'll see myself out
(Referencing the tags of this post)
Oh my gosh. Buddy you have just opened up Pandora’s box. Brace yourself for the most adorable couple origin story ever.
He followed me fairly early on into the process of me posting my work on Tumblr. I don’t remember exactly, but I think my TPiaG mini comic “Heart-to-Heartbreak” was the first post he ever reblogged from me. After that, he was super enthusiastic and involved with my blog and engaged with basically every post I ever made. This guy was one of THE followers of my work— if I posted something, he was always there to like it and share super thoughtful commentary or hilarious jokes.
I absolutely adored him even back then, and we had barely exchanged a handful of messages on Tumblr where he thanked me for inspiring him to get back into art and writing, and I blubbered about how meaningful that was to me. We eventually followed each other on Spotify and I think that’s about the point when I really should have realized I had it bad for him. I was CONSTANTLY rambling to my mom about how much I wanted to be this internet stranger’s best friend, but I was super hesitant because our family has been huge on online stranger danger and never really talking to anyone unless you know exactly who they are in real life. I’m an adult and all, yeah, but I was still super anxious about internet strangers at large— though he never once made me uncomfortable or wary :>
Eventually, he made a goofy post about it being his birthday, and I bolted to tell my mom about that and how I didn’t have enough time that day to polish up any content of his favorite characters I’ve written and post it as a gift for him. I was utterly distraught and pretty much full-on monologuing to my ever-so patient mother about how much I wanted to befriend this man and how amazing he was and how shy I felt about the matter, and she looked me dead in the eyes and told me to ask him if he wanted to message each other more and get to know each other better.
I sent him a message over Tumblr, we exchanged Discord usernames, and I’m pretty sure it was just over a week of messaging and getting to know each other more and more every day later when he told me he thought he was in love with me— to which I very eloquently rattled off a bunch of nonsense that ended in “I don’t know how to communicate this other than by saying ‘dude, same’.”
After that, we’ve only gotten more and more mutually obsessed. Thankfully he’s in the same country as me, and we’re even timezone neighbors, so he’s not on the opposite side of the world— and when I realized some of my household were going on a trip to the same state where he lived for a family wedding, I SCRAMBLED to insert myself into that trip last-minute. We had originally thought that we’d meet up when he could drive to my state (a process that would take a long time because of some complicating factors), but when I realized my family were flying down there, I was practically foaming at the mouth with the thought of seeing him so much sooner. We met up not that long ago and were even able to meet some of each other’s family members (my family absolutely adores him, and I think his likes me a fair bit too, hehe). But listen: when I tell you I adored him before, I was absolutely head-over-heels for him when we met in person. I got to hug him and I had this thought come to mind of “Oh. This is the person I want to marry.” And I’ve never once doubted it :>
During the times we met up we mostly sat around and basked in each other’s presence and stared at each other. I ended up breaking eye contact a lot because I kept getting flustered and also because this man is TALL and I had to periodically rest my neck 😂 I was able to give him some pins I had made of our PMD team that represents us, and my boyfriend. My boyfriend, you guys. He had the gall to send me a screenshot of an eBay listing of the world’s most adorable Snorlax plush weeks before while we were on a call together, bought it immediately after I had said I loved the plush’s face as we hung up, and then GAVE ME IT WHEN WE MET UP.
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Look at him. That’s my son now. I was trying to think of what to name the little guy when my toddler niece dubbed him Tummy. My boyfriend approves of the monicker— as he should, because it’s the bestest name for the bestest boy.
TL;DR— He followed me on tumblr, I desperately wanted to be friends with him and sent him my Discord username on his birthday, we exchanged “I love you”s a week later, and I was almost sick on a plane because I was so excited to see him during a trip to his state for a family member’s wedding. We are absolutely obsessed with each other and kind of instantly Knew from the get-go that we’re going to be each other’s Person™️.
As for the tag, I'm not sure I’ll go with it but I’m starting to consider “The Boyfriend Bird Feeder”, because it works out to the acronym BFBF which I find funny, I mainly want to make the tag as a way for him to easily find posts where I’m talking about how amazing he is whenever he needs a pick-me-up (and so people can block the tag if they find me raving about my man so much annoying lol), and his persona that we spent all day yesterday cooking up looks like this:
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pebblysand · 3 months ago
Note
Are you working on any new projects that you feel like sharing with us
Love castles and you
Never gonna give you up never gonna turn around and dessert u
hey anon! apologies for the delay here. this is a very sweet anon that made me smile when i got it, so thank you ❤️.
regarding your question though... i suppose: not really? i don't know. it's complicated. to be fully transparent, i've not written a word since the end of castles. i know that for you it might feel like a long time because objectively, it has been five weeks, but for me, i just haven't had that much downtime since then. i spent almost four weeks in france post-publication, most of which were holidays where i wasn't working (at my IRL job, i mean). this was so peaceful and restful and nice but also so outside my usual routine that i didn't have much time to think about writing (or to really let the end of castles sink in, for that matter). i wrote 23 in about a month, and 24 over a weekend, so looking back, it all feels like one big feverish dream i haven't really had time to digest, yet. i came back to ireland just over two weeks ago and i don't know, i guess i've been... crashing - a bit? 😬
it's not bad. like, trust me, you don't need to worry about me - i'm alright. i've been distracting myself with going to london a couple weekends and have loads of other trips planned between now and christmas, which i am very much looking forward to and should keep me busy. i've been doing a lot of podcast-y things, i'm getting reacquainted with my friends who i've sadly neglected for far too long (hopefully they don't hate me too much, haha), and with life in general (i've been going running more consistently, i've done embroidery - lol 😅 - i'm thinking about signing up for pottery classes - the works, you know).
if i'm honest, on a deeper level though, i've been finding that i'm not quite sure what to do with all the time that is now on my hands. my anxiety skyrocketed early last week, which i know is just my brain slowly readapting to this new, post-castles normal, but which still very much sucked. i am worried about my dog's health and my mum's health, and loneliness in my thirties. i'm worried about my plans for next year, i am worried about whether i'll be capable of writing original fiction, and i am worried that now that castles is finished and that the post-completion around it has stopped, everyone will forget about me and no one will read my works anymore. again, 🙄 ugh.
having said that, here are my plans for the short, medium, and long term:
SHORT TERM (BETWEEN NOW AND DECEMBER)
i don't want to start any "big" project between now and december, tbh. i need to sit and breathe and recharge (see above). i could however ever see myself doing one or two short-ish things (under 10k), that i could get done over a weekend or something. in that list are:
the aoife one-shot (follow-up to the fault in faulty manufacturing) (likelihood: 90% - i've been meaning to write this for age, it haunts me. my only issue is that i'd love to write it for paddy's day but since the beginning of the year will probably be busy with other things - see below - it might be my winter project)
maybe a fic about pansy parkinson's side of the amycus story, possibly tying into chapter 22. (likelihood: 50% - i literally just had the idea for this this afternoon but i kind of like it. i've been fascinated with the concept of pansy parkinson lately, so we'll see.)
for reasons that i don't want to explain yet, i'll probably need to have a really good 3,500 words original fiction story written by march 2025. i should probably get started on it this autumn. (likelihood: 35% - i know me and i will probably be procrastinating this as much as i can because it's not "fun" and feels like a chore)
MEDIUM TERM (JANUARY TO SEPTEMBER)
there's literally an endless list of stories i'd like to write. some of them might be written next year, some of them might never get done. the current list includes:
HP Harry/Ginny Muggle College AU (likelihood: 20% - i love the idea of it but idk about the execution)
HP Harry/Ginny FWB AU (likelihood: 40% - this one i'm more interested in. could be a sort of AU of castles but could also stand alone)
Peaky Blinders Ada Character Piece (likelihood: 70% - i need to rewatch the show, but i really like that one. i already have a few paragraphs of this i'd written somewhere)
Peaky Blinders May Character Piece (likelihood: 60% - same as above, i also have it already started somewhere. i do feel like i'm more interested in Ada than i am in May right now, but we'll see)
The Good Wife Will Character Piece (likelihood: 60% - i've been meaning to write this for, like, 10 years. i just need to brave a full rewatch which, ugh)
HP Malfoy Character Piece (likelihood: 25% - idk. same as the college AU. i like the idea, but no idea about the execution. just marginally more interested in this one cause it's a character i've not explored before)
HP Harry/Pansy AU (likelihood: 10% - i've found a fantastic fic for this pairing already in existence, so that has satiated my need to write it, i think.)
Silk Martha/Clive Children AU (likelihood: 10% - it's a beautiful fic... in my head)
HP Hermione Character Piece (likelihood: 40% - i know you all want this one but honestly i'm not sure what i would have to say. it's a hard one because i would love to write it, i find hermione a very interesting character, but it also needs to narratively bring something that isn't already in castles. like, i don't want to repeat something people already know. so, we'll see. i will write it if i find an angle for it. i was going to write it as an ode to friendship - like: the long-standing nature of she and harry's friendship, the way everyone always focuses on romance when actually, platonic friendship is also very important to us as humans - but i think i already sort of blew that angle with Lily and Naran now. so, again, we'll see.)
Black Sisters Piece on Female Rage (likelihood: 20%. i had a very, very specific idea for this back in 2023 and i never wrote it. i'm thinking of revisiting)
having said that, i also know that January - March 2025 will really be the moment i'm planning on easing back into writing more frequently, but also the moment when i'll have to focus on original writing for a while (again, reasons i can't explain). so, write that 3,500 words short story, and outline a larger project. so, not sure i'll have much time for fanfic at the start of the year.
LONG TERM
there will be a book. i have an idea. i have characters. i need... an outline, and a plot, and all that stuff. i would love to outline january 2025-march 2025 (as said above), then to slowly start writing it as life allows. i think fanfic will remain my outlet, my "fun" thing, the thing i "cheat" on my main project with haha. we all need those.
i will keep you updated on all this as it happens, and i hope (hopehopehope) you stick around ❤️.
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aceri1485 · 1 year ago
Text
Fired (Pt. 2)
Pt 1 here!
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Xiumin x Reader
key words: backstage, concert, stage hand, smut (18+, read at own risk — consensual, oral (male receiving), unprotected), fluff (does this count as fluff?), slow burn
authors note: uhh merry christmas I guess haha (1) this is purely fiction, please don’t be delusional and no I don’t think this would ever happen irl (2) protagonist (ie. the reader) gender is ambiguous on purpose, I want anyone to be able to read this and enjoy (3) I'm enjoying writing this more than I was expecting, soooo maybe part 3???
-----
"Hellooo - can you hear me?" your radio crackles from your waistband.
You stifle a yawn before grabbing your radio to reply, "Yes, I'm here! Sorry! I'm on my way."
"Oh good - thank you!" You hear the relief in Sam's voice, "Come find me when you're done!"
"Will do" you reply, then turn your attention back to the makeup artist, Jose, who had been talking your ear off for nearly 15 minutes before Sam's radio message interrupted you.
"Oh - I guess you have to go," Jose blushes, "I'm sorry, I know you must be busy, I just - nobody has really asked us what we..."
"What you need to do your job?" you finish the sentence, smiling gently at Jose, "I'm sorry if it seems like we haven't been paying attention to you before, the stage hands have been a little short staffed at the other concerts."
"No - no, that's not what I.." Jose blushed even more, "I didn't mean to imply you weren't doing your job before, I'm trying to say... I'm saying that I appreciate how hard you are working now and that I am grateful we have someone like you to support us."
You blink, surprised, and feel your own cheeks and ears getting hot. It was true - you had been working hard since Sam promoted you. That was three shows ago now, and while the team had been saying thank you, you hadn't truly felt like your extra effort had been noticed or appreciated.
Your radio crackles again, another staff member asking for Sam's approval on some other matter, bringing your attention back.
"I will do my best to get you what you need." you say to Jose, before going to run to your next task. You stop, though, and gently put your hand on Jose's, "and... thanks."
Jose locks eyes with you and smiles, "No, thank you - I'll see you later?"
You smile back, "See you later!"
Now you turn and jog down the hall, off to meet with one of the stylists for an emergency clothing shopping spree, but not before you catch sight of an achingly familiar figure passing across the hall in front of you.
Your body has an involuntary response, the blush in your cheeks deepening, but you force your mind not to wander and focus on the task at hand.
Arriving at the backstage door, you are surprised to find not only the stylist, but a manager and a tall man in a bucket hat and mask waiting for you. They greet you, smiling, as you head out the door together.
"Mr. Park - why are you coming with us?" you ask, smiling as his eyes widen in surprise, "What - you didn't think that so-called disguise is going to fool anyone, did you?" you laugh.
While it was true that you had come to know the members more and more since you had been working as a part of their core team over the past month, it was also true that anyone who had ever seen even a bad drawing of Chanyeol before would recognize him now.
"Hey, it's better than nothing!" Chanyeol shoots back as you hold the car door open for him. He slides in and you close the door, running around to get in on the other side. Luckily, the concert is still hours away, and any fans that are already lurking around are all at the entrance to the arena.
The last time one of the members had tried to join an outing like this before a concert, the police had to be called to stop fans from blocking the backstage door to let them get back inside the venue. So long as nobody knew Chanyeol was gone, nobody would be desperate enough to stake out the door to try and see him when you go back this time.
"I had to come so I can try on whatever we pick out," Chanyeol says as you buckle your seatbelts, "I didn't want to, I know how complicated it could get if someone sees me."
"Don't lie!" the stylist laughs from the front seat, "I told you I would bring back different sizes for you to try!"
"Yeah," the manager chimes in from the front seat, "I distinctly remember the conversation going something along the lines of "ahh I'm so bored, when will I ever-" hey, put that back on!" he cuts off as Chanyeol throws his bucket hat at him, "and be careful, I'm driving!"
Any tension the team had about a last minute outing melts away as you laugh, and the conversation turns to finding a good place to pick up coffee near the store the stylist wants to go to. As Chanyeol and the manager debate whether the members need coffee before a show, you pull out your phone to message Sam that you are on your way.
Distracted for a few minutes as you message back and forth with various team members, each putting in coffee requests or asking you to grab this or that, your attention gets pulled back to the conversation when you hear Xiumin's name.
Looking up, you see that Chanyeol was watching you. He smiles at you, too knowingly, and says "Sam would know, I think Xiumin told her after the last show."
"What was that?" you ask, trying to keep your expression clear, and looking anywhere but Chanyeol's face.
"Did he say something about his shoes being too big last show?" the stylist asked, not noticing - or pretending not to notice - the large grin on Chanyeol's face as he looked at you.
"Oh, no - the shoes fit fine," you say, "they needed new laces, the old ones were frayed and so they weren't staying tied" you explain, looking out the window in what you hoped was a non-chalant manner.
"Lets add laces to the list then," the stylist adds, "How could I have missed that? You're a life saver, thank you!"
"Don't mention it," you say, "And I already picked up some extra laces.. and changed out the old ones in Xiumin's shoes."
"When did you have time to do that?" the stylist turns to look at you.
"Oh, I... stayed late after the last show." you mumble, refusing to look at anyone in the car.
The stylist smiles, "You work way too hard, you know that?" laughing as they turn back in their seat, "I hope you know we all appreciate it!"
You're grateful that you can blame your blush on receiving your second compliment of the day rather than the thoughts of why you had really stayed so late after the last show.
It was the first time you and Xiumin had been able to be truly alone since... well, since that first night.
"Are you cold?" he asks, the corners of his eyes creased with concern, "Here, put this on."
He pulls off his jean jacket to wrap around your shoulders. The streetlight casts shadows of your sillouettes infront of you as you walk- a shadow couple, picture perfect, other worldly. You smile in thanks, pulling the jacket closer around you. It had to be nearly 3am already, the two of you had stayed at the arena talking for hours after the everyone else had left.
Your arms brush together as you walk, Xiumin's hands shoved into his pockets, a blush forming on his cheeks where his face is visible behind his black facemask, matching the pink tinge of your ears. Your shadows bump into eachother, at times overlapping, rarely a gap between them.
You both realize the hotel is less than half a block away at the same time and it's like you're suddenly walking in molasses. Your shadows crawl along the sidewalk ahead of you, shrinking into one another then growing full again as you pass between one streetlight to another.
At the door of the hotel, you both stop, not making eye contact with each other.
"Do you want-"
"Maybe another-"
You start speaking at the same time, turning to look at each other, breaking off just as quickly and turning away again, flushing.
"You f-"
"What did yo-"
And the tension breaks, both of you laughing.
"You go" you say, marvelling at the way the light streaming out from the hotel windows makes his eyes sparkle. You longed to pull off his mask so you could see how the light would catch on the rest of his face, with its simultaneously sharp angles and soft edges.
He won't look at you, instead staring at your shoes, but his hands come up and hold your elbows, "Maybe another... another lap around the block?" he asks.
You stop yourself from sighing in relief, anything to make the night last longer, just another few minutes-
You're pulled away from your thoughts by Chanyeol waving his hand in front of your face “Helloooo?"
You’ve arrived at a small shopping area and the manager is bragging about his great parking job.
"Oh, sorry," you smile, "I was just trying to - uh - remember everyone's coffee orders."
The stylist and manager hurry to usher Chanyeol into a store across the street, leaving you to actually try and remember everyone's coffee orders, entering a small cafe. It isn't busy, thankfully, but you apologize to the barista for the number of drinks you order nonetheless.
"Two iced americanos, 4 hot americanos, one vanilla latte..." you prattle off almost a dozen drinks and pay, "Sorry again - is it just you working today?"
"Yes, just me, but don't apologize!" the barista smiles at you, "I love a bit of a challenge."
"How so?" You ask, making small talk as they start working on the drinks.
"Oh, I love to see if I can pull double shots, or pour milk with one hand while steaming another round" the barista laughs, "like rubbing my head and patting my stomach... or is it the other way around?"
Both laughing, you keep chatting, realizing you have a similar taste in music when the song playing in the cafe changes, comparing your favourite types of teas and the best place to go for kimbap in the neighbourhood.
The barista smiles shyly, tucking their hair behind their ear, as you watch them work on the last drink, "Could I maybe get your..."
They trail off as Chanyeol bursts through the door, a whirlwind of energy not at all contained by his large frame, the manager close behind him.
"Almost ready?" the manager asks you and you nod, greeting them both before turning back to the barista.
"What were you saying?" you ask as they slide the last drink to you over the counter.
"Oh, its nothing!" they look flustered, clearly recognizing Chanyeol, who is now waiting by the register to order, "But - uh - if you're ever in the neighbourhood again, you should stop by. I'll make you one on the house," they say, recovering a bit and turning their attention back to you.
"Oh, I-" you break off as Chanyeol pointedly clears his throat and looks at his watch. The barista nods to you and hurries back over to the register to take Chanyeol's order.
Sighing, you slump into a seat across from the manager, the drinks you ordered filling the table in front of you. It turns out that Chanyeol had been accepting orders from the members while you were collecting orders for the staff and so the barista gets to work preparing another 9 drinks.
“We’d better hurry back after this,” the manager says, anxious, “Of course the big oaf gets recognized...”
-----
There are still 3 hours to showtime after you finish distributing coffee to the other stage hands, but there is still a never ending list of tasks waiting for you all before the show can start.
The crew and dancers walk through an entire sound and lighting check, one of the stylists has to be taken to the hospital for stitches after a mishap with a sewing needle, and Sehun’s earpiece has gone missing.
That’s how you find yourself in a back closet the crew was using as temporary storage, surrounded by boxes full of extra props and pieces of audio equipment. Your back to the door, bent at the waist to dig in the bottom of a particularly large box, you hear rather than see someone enter the closet behind you, just as-
“YES! It’s here!” You say triumphantly, shooting your hand into the air, clutching the small box containing Sehun’s earpiece.
Sighing in relief that there was at least one problem solved, you freeze when you hear the reply from behind you.
“What did you find?” Chanyeol says.
You turn around in an instant, surprise clear on your face, “Chan- I mean, Mr. Park? Sorry, I though you were Sam.”
He smiles and holds up his hands, “Just me - sorry to disappoint.”
“What are you doing here?” You ask, slightly anxious, “Did something else happen?”
“Something else?” He asks, confused, “Is there a problem?”
You bite your lip, cursing to yourself that you forgot how the staff tried their best to hide small issues from the members before the shows so they could focus on getting ready.
Forcing a smile, you say and hold up the box again, “No, not anymore - we’re good! What do you need?”
“Oh, I was.. I was hoping to talk to you actually” he says, trying to catch your eye to gauge your response.
Oh god, not now! You think to yourself, I don’t have time for this right now - actually, I don’t have time for this ever, I can’t loose this job!
“If this is.. what I think it is, then..” you take a deep breath and meet his gaze, “it’s not what it-“
“Looks like?” he finishes your sentence for you, giving you a hard look.
You set your jaw.
Chanyeol sighs, his shoulders relaxing, breaking eye contact and half turning away, “That’s too bad then. Because it looks like Xiumin is happier than I’ve seen him in years.”
Your jaw falls open.
Chanyeol turns to leave, then pauses with his hand on the closet door. “I just wanted to say..” he looks back at you over his shoulder, “He’s serious about you, about continuing whatever this “doesn’t look like” after the tour, and I hope.. I hope you don’t hurt him. I saw the way you were with that barista, and don’t pretend you don’t see how Jose looks at you.”
The elevator dings, but neither of you move to get off it. Instead, you both stand at the door, looking out down to the end of the hall.
The door slides shut, and you didn’t get off.
“I’ll just.. take you up to your room first.” You say, looking down at your shoes, hands clutching the hem Xiumin’s jean jacket still draped over your shoulders.
“Okay.. thanks.” He says, voice low. The elevator continues up, and his hand finds yours, pulling your grip from his jacket to intertwine your fingers.
The elevator dings again, but still neither of you move to get off, until the door starts to slide shut again. Xiumin puts out a hand to stop it, his other still holding yours.
Holding the door open, he steps off, but as you go to draw your hand away, he holds on even tighter, pulling you off the elevator with him.
“Xiumin...” you whisper, fully aware that the other members and the managers are staying on this floor as well, digging in your heels a bit to stop him from pulling you further down the hall as the elevator doors slide shut behind you.
He stops, but doesn’t look back at you. Instead, you feel his hand squeeze yours, and he whispers back “…please”.
You couldn’t have stood there more than 30 seconds after Chanyeol left but it felt more like a whole day before you shook it off. Gathering yourself again to the task at hand, you try not to think about how Chanyeol’s voice broke, “I hope you don’t hurt him.”
Radioing ahead to let Sam know you found Sehun’s earpiece, you practically sprint out of the closet.
Handing over the box to one of the managers, you remember the items Jose had asked you for earlier in the day and go to collect what you can.
It’s an hour to the show by the time you’re able to stop by the dressing room and check in with Jose after being sidetracked by different problems and tasks. You knock and enter the the dressing room after hearing Jose yell “Come in!”
You push open the door, balancing a small box full of different things Jose had asked for - a fresh lightbulb for the mirror, a new package of makeup wipes, spray bottle with water - and enter the room.
You quickly scan the room, taking in the manager sitting on the couch engaged in a phone call, Baekhyun holding up two shirts in front of a mirror while two stylists argue over which colour to go for and Chen sitting in front of the makeup mirrors while another stylist attacked his hair with a brush and gel.
But your heart doesn’t jump up into your throat until your eyes land on the one man you were hoping to find here. He’s sitting in front of the makeup mirror beside Chen, eyes closed as Jose attempts to dab some slightly glittery eye shadow on him without getting glitter everywhere else.
“Oh my GOD, you’re the best!” Jose says, seeing what you’re carrying, and Xiumin opens his eyes, “Xiumin, don’t you agree?” Jose grabs the box from you to push onto the counter infront of Xiumin, “I asked for all this this morning, I can’t believe you remembered everything!”
Looking at you in the mirror, Xiumin smiles “Yes.. you’re the best” he says quietly.
The subtext is thankfully lost on Jose who playfully smacks him on the arm, “I asked if you agreed but I did not say that you could open your eyes!”
You and Jose chat for a bit, Jose fluttering around Xiumin and Chen, finishing both of their makeup, while Chen and Xiumin start their own conversation. Baekhyun joins in a third chair, the stylists finally having come to a compromise and finding a completely different third shirt for him to wear.
Sounds of the crowd filing into the arena filter in, growing louder as the time passes. Down the hall, you hear the staff laughing in the common area, many of them trying to eat a quick dinner before the show starts.
Soon Sam checks in with you over your radio and you go to pop your head into the other dressing rooms, giving the 15 minute warning and checking that nobody needs anything last minute.
Another stage hand comes by to usher the members to the stage. You follow behind them in the hallway, trying to stay out of the way of dancers rushing to get to the stage and makeup artists trying to apply last minute touch ups to the members.
In the chaos, you find yourself beside Xiumin for a couple of seconds, just long enough for him to look at you and smile, your hands to brush and a wave of goose bumps to rush down your spine. With his makeup done, contacts in and his shirt unbuttoned like that, he is breathtakingly beautiful. Then he’s gone, carried forward by the wave of commotion heading toward the stage, toward the rising sound of cheers - no, screams - and the swell of the music.
You gasp, finally coming up for air, the rise and fall of your breath matching his, like two people who were underwater for too long. He meets your eyes, a low moan falling from his lips.
“Please, baby” he breathes out, “Please keep going.”
You blow cool air on his cock, moving your hand up and down, tantalizingly slow, enjoying the way his hips squirm as he tries to increase the friction and the way the storm in his eyes builds. One of his hands brushes your hair away from your eyes, gently. But the other grasps the sheets of the bed, muscles in his forearms taught and the veins in his hand jumping up, like he’s holding back the ocean with one hand.
You place your hand over his, releasing his grip on the sheets and intertwining your fingers at the same time as you lower your mouth back around his cock. He can’t hold back the loud gasp, or help the way his hips buck. The hand that one second ago was so tenderly brushing back your hair now pushes your head down.
Saliva fills your mouth as you try not to gag, taking as much of him into your mouth as you can with each push down of his hand. His fingers tangle in your hair as he guides you. You suck and swirl your tongue, glancing up at him every now and then. He can’t look away from you, he’s transfixed. It fuels your own arousal, and you move one hand down to touch yourself. Your other hand is still holding his, two drowning people clasping onto each other like a lifeline.
“Shit, I’m-“ he says, hips bucking again, “Fuck, don’t stop..”
Your name, mixed in with a string of curse words, falls from his mouth as he gasps for air, his voice deep and breathy at the same time. His hand leaves your hair, flying up behind him to hold on to the headboard. You pick up the pace, abandoning your own pleasure to pump him with your hand lower down his shaft while your use your mouth at his tip.
The wave crashes down and with low yell he releases. You swallow, continuing to work him until he gasps and pulls your head away. Then he pulls you up into a deep, long kiss, and you sigh, relaxing into it, relaxing into him. When you break apart, you pull the cover up over you both and rest your head on his shoulder. He kisses you on the forehead, mumbling something about the time and his alarm going off in a couple hours. Holding each other close, your breathing deep and again in sync, you fall asleep. Faint sunlight breaks through the crack in the curtain at the foot of the bed.
An hour later, the sunlight wakes you up, hitting you in the face. Now strong and bright, it had crept up the bed until it hit you square in the eye. Xiumin still sleeps beside you, his hair falling across his forehead, relaxed and blissfully protected from the sun.
A few moments later, you are closing the door as quietly as possible behind you, dressed but holding your shoes in your hands, ready to tiptoe to the elevator. The door closes and you turn, freezing in place, eyes locked on Chanyeol standing in an open doorway across the hall.
END (P3 maybe?)
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girlfromthecrypt · 5 months ago
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I also agree you should go for the branch you are thinking of including. Personally, I doubt I'll ever see it in game, since my MC (his name is Trent) is way too nice and way too in love with Flo to even get to the situation. That said, I'm all for it.
The warning proposed by the other anon also makes a lot of sense. I'm not someone who read trigger warnings often, but I know it would be useful for the people who do.
If anything, more than being worried about the warnings, I'm curious how you'll get to a point where MC could do such a thing. Now, I've seen some mean and not so good natured choices in game. And maybe it's just me being too nice while playing. But I don't really see how MC could get to the point of doing what you want to include in game. Maybe it's because we're more or less still in the earliest parts of the story (I imagine, I'm not sure how many chapters you are planning to write), but we've not be able to do anything as dark as what you are planning. So, for me at least, I see the biggest challenge is to get to that point. A part of me would like to propose the idea of MC getting to do such a thing because the supernatural corrupts the minds of the people at the camp, so their moral decision making begins to fail. But that's actually a way of coddling the player if anything. It makes them less responsible for deciding to commit such an act, as well as taking some of their agency, and that to me means the story is weaker. And it would be antithetical to the spirit of IFs as a whole (where our choices are meant to truly change the story and the characters we interact with). Also, horror is way more interesting when it comes not only from the supernatural, but from within. Since the latter is the one kind of horrying truth you'll one day may able to find in your life...
Returning to the topic topic; the only caveat I'm able to see, if looking hard for one, when it comes to include the path you're planning, is that while the game is horror... Well, children are still very present in the story. So maybe some people may feel it doesn't fit to include such a path as the one we're discussing. On the other hand, I very much doubt you'll make the children be involved with it. So far they don't even help romancing any of the RO's, so the whole path you are planning seems so removed from them no one would ever connect them unless they are reading the IF in bad faith.
Overall, I think you should include it. As long as you think it fits with the story.
Also, it makes me wonder if something of that sort has occurred to you for the other ROs? Maybe not as cruel. But something with major consequences, either for the RO (as a victim of MC), MC (as the responsible for the bad thing, getting their comeuppance), or both the RO and MC at the same time.
Woah there's a long ask! Thanks so much for your input; I'll try to pick up on everything.
Firstly, I wish Trent and Flo all the best, and yes, MCs who aren't romancing Sawyer won't be presented with this option. And nice MCs are ofc simply not gonna choose it so you hit the nail on the head there. There's definitely gonna be a warning for it (there will be for many things as the story goes on).
As for how MC would get there; never you worry about that. I already have that section well planned out, and it's going to come up kind of soon in the story, too. Not in Chapter 6 but from what it looks like, probably around Chapter 7 already. I won't go into too much detail since that'd be very spoilery, but I've already outlined how exactly it's gonna happen, and don't worry, it'll be the MC's very own authentic decision. Uninfluenced by any camp horrors whatsoever. I totally agree with what you wrote when it comes to MC having their mind corrupted. Also, outside influence isn't really necessary when it comes to stuff like this, after all, people take advantage of one another irl and while they're sane of mind often enough. Sad as it is.
And NO the children are not involved with ANY of that. There will be absolutely no kids around when this path happens, none of them will witness the conversation with Sawyer where MC can make this choice, nope nope nope. Don't worry, the little ones are gonna remain far removed from this.
Yes, I think I will end up including this--- Everyone so far has advised me to do it and I must say, I agree. I had my doubts bc I'm not used to writing such a blatantly self-serving MC. But I wanna make this IF have choices that count, and I want that to include choices that I myself wouldn't pick.
That's a good question at the end there. I certainly have some... vague... ideas for the other paths such as this one. But they would all happen later on in the game bc the other ROs aren't in the position Sawyer is in. They're "special" as an RO for reasons that'll become obvious. Also, the other ROs simply aren't as vulnerable as Sawyer, and not in the same ways, so it's difficult. But yes, I do plan to give MC the option to turn their back on all of them in one way or another. It's just further away than with Sawyer so I don't know how yet, exactly.
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archaeren · 5 days ago
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Hi Ren,
it's lavenderlight over from ao3!
I'm crossing my fingers that the infamous tumblr-ask-box-situation won't swallow my message! xD
I hope I'm not overstepping (and I don't expect a reply) but I just thought I'd check in - I know you've got discord but I don't think I have the spoons currently to make an account lol
So, good old tumblr it is :D
Anyway - I wanted to wish you happy holidays and let you know that I've been thinking of you (and your depiction of Chui ( 〃▽〃) ) and that LC:LS meant quite a lot to me over the past year - and continues to mean a lot to me.
Honestly, I keep thinking (constantly!!) about all of the chapters so far, imagining how the story might unfold in the future -
So, yeah. I hope you're doing alright and I'll look forward to any possible updates!! <3
Wishing you nice company, a warm blanket and a hot drink of your choice for the holidays!!
OMG hello!! You're not overstepping at all, this is so sweet aaaaa!! <3 <3 <3 I don't know how to say that it means a lot to me that the story matters to you so much. I look forward to your comments on every chapter SO MUCH, they're so thorough and thoughtful, every one of them is like a little gift. I'm so curious what other kinds of things you find yourself thinking about the chapters so far and the ones that have yet to come! It really does mean a lot to know someone else is thinking about it so much. It's a rarepair--the number of English language authors including the migikisa ship at all (let alone focusing on it) can be counted on one hand!--in a tiny fandom. (Someone recently asked me about how many longfics were in the Eng JJ fandom and I was able to rattle off all their titles and author names... because there are only three of them, and one of them is mine. XD) In such a niche pairing, it's easy to feel lonely, especially as one of the sole creators for it. You can't help but wonder sometimes if other people think you're weird or even annoying for being so invested. It can feel isolating. So for someone to say it means that much to them... it's really validating. <3 I got a bit sidetracked lately by doing fanart instead of writing, which is most of why I haven't updated recently. The art brain has a stranglehold on the writing brain! (I started writing again on Friday so I could update on Sunday and then on Saturday I was gripped by the drive to draw Chui as a character from Cult of the Lamb and that consumed my entire weekend... oops.) Actually, you're the one that inspired that art shift. It was that comment you left on Chapter 14, where you mentioned reading a quote that said, “People hate their own art because it looks like they made it. They think if they get better, it will stop looking like they made it. A better person made it. But there’s no level of skill beyond which you stop being you. You hate the most valuable thing about your art.” I thought about that a lot after you said it and it really changed my perspective on my own art. I draw more now than I have in years, and I usually even like what I draw! Even though I can still see its flaws and still see my own influence on it, I've really made a lot of peace with that. It's been really eye-opening and empowering. I really want to get an LC:LS update out today or tomorrow because we're finally hitting the winter performance and the timeline of coinciding with IRL Christmas is just too good. I wish I could post one today and one tomorrow for the timing but I'm not sure I'll have time to finish them both and I'm not sure people would have time to read them anyway! I will probably content myself with one. XD Anyway, if you ever do decide to make a discord I would love to talk more! You can also just lurk in the server that's linked on LC:LS, though I feel like you would be a great addition to the culture c: Thank you so much again for messaging and I hope you have a wonderful holiday (with a few moments to spare for thinking Chui thoughts! I know I will be, hehe <3 )
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hildegardladyofbones · 6 months ago
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okay final thoughts on disco elysium (post-first playthrough). major fucking spoilers ahead.
This run took me 38 hours and I did it in 6 days (both irl and in game). Today was the day where I played the least, only 5 or so hours
My main strategy for picking options was: 1. what would *I* do? this lead to most of the boring and centrist answers because I don't want to take a stand on politics of a world I don't know shit about. Will definitely make other choices in the future now that I've gotten a grasp. 2. What would Kim approve of? disappointing Kim makes me physically sick. 3. Which of the options has the name Kim in it? I just wanted to say his name as much as possible.
In the future I will definitely be picking the silliest options. I also plan on picking the thinker archetype (i picked the sensitive one because i liked the addition that he might begin to lose his mind.) and that one says that he's very bad with people, which logically would lead to out of pocket things.
Most importantly: I didn't do shit in this game. I didn't even disco. I thought I had an other opportunity to finish that quest, because I could have never thought that the killer would be on the island. There's also the deal with Cuno. Idfk what it is. Will get to that next time. And what was it that Joyce had to say? And how would've the tribunal gone had I not failed all but two red-checks?
Other shit i want to rant about. Kim. Oh my fucking god, Kim. Hands down the best character in any video game I've ever played. (Oh yeah that reminds me- I'm certain I didn't find out all there is to him). I've talked about it before (Wayyy too much) how he was so kind and patient and down-to-earth when he didn't have to be. How he doesn't fuck around. Usually. One of my favourite traits of his is that he is so willing to do random shit for the fun of it. He also doesn't take anyone's shit, like, he has effectively shut people's mouths up. His voice was also way too soothing and enjoyable to listen to for absolutely no apparent reason. I cheered and clapped when he spoke. I am a total kim-freak and I am Definitely kimfected. I can go on. about the fact that he smokes? absolutely obsessed with that fact for no apparent reason. And he's gay! I never would've thought they'd go there. I will be needing an orange bomber jacket and round sunglasses moving forward, thankyouverymuch
I should also talk about Harry. The reason why I didn't fuck with him *as much* is because to me, his characterization was very inconsistent. I'm sure I'll grow to like him even more when I actually know what I'm doing. I absolutely appreciate the constant angst he was in tho, especially after the tribunal, but *that* deserves it's own post. He is one of the more believably fucked-up detectives in fiction and definitely one of the most well-written. What absolutely seals the deal for me is the addition of his skills (?)(idk what to call them). Not only was it a wonderful game mechanic, it also made the game so much more interesting. And the fact that it's canon, there *are* voices in his head also adds to it. The narration was also on point, they picked the right actor for it. Speaking of game mechanics, the dice roll was also a needed addition. That's what made the game hard. Too bad it took me so long to figure out the logic behind it. I think I did that at like the second to last dice roll in the game. It's also, obviously, a nod to ttrpgs' that were an inspiration for this game. That also appears in the gameplay itself. Most of the time the characters are standing still while the narration tells us what's happening. That's neat as well, idk, i've never played an ttrpg
And then there's the ending. I will skip the middle parts, mostly, because they're just great and I love the story and that's pretty much all i have to say about it. The ending fucntioned as a review of how/what we did this run. Kim pretty much laid out exactly what kind of cop we were, what we believed in, how well we did the investigation, etc. and for that fact alone I don't know if I could ever stomach doing a playthrough where I don't solve the crime to near-perfection. I cannot stomach letting that man down. I will most likely be missing out on a considerable chunk of the game that way, but as about everything besides DE lately, idgaf. Kim is the blorbo of all time. Anyway it kind of pains me that the ending came so suddenly, mostly for the afore-mentioned reasons. It also kind of hurt me mentally because of how we're forced to confront how much of a shitshow Harry is. And the fact that it's so heavily hinting at a sequel that never came. The world is against me specifically for not giving this game a sequel. For not letting me see more of Kim. That's right, I will never shut up about him. I am superbly annoying about that guy it's unbearable even to me. FUCK i digress, the main reason why the ending left me with the heavy feeling is the feeling of loose ends. (I didn't fucking disco, remember?)
HOLY SHIT I HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE WORLD !! I was *absolutely* *positively* astonished the more I learned about the world. I love history as much as the next history freak, but what I love more is *intentionally* mixing up the decades. The cars looked a century old, they had computers, they had ttrpgs', the year was '51 and they had disco, obviously. I live for that shit. There's also the thing that I do with my own fictional world and that is mixing made up shit with our world shit. I am beyond elated when I figured out that's what they were doing because i've never seen anything else do that. Their world mostly looks like and acts like our world, except the cultures, geography and history are all original. it's what I did because I didn't want to learn about the london tube system. And of course there are some super-natural elements (what the fuck is the pale? who is the paleworker? huh???) as well. The similarities between their and my world go on, but I digress. The worldbuilding done here was superb and so fucking impressive. Honestly stuff like "oh why would they call *their* months march, april, etc when the guys that named the months didn't exist in their world" and "oh why do they have communism if that was invented by Karl Marx" doesn't bother me at all. That is the shit i live for. It pains me that there most likely won't be a sequel, but luckily I am estonian so I can read the novel. The game being so heavily estonian-made was another reason why I bought it. (the others being: it was 4 eur and it said the artstyle was inspired by oil paintings)(had i known how life-changing this game would be for me, i would've gladly paid the 40 eur)
There's still more i could talk about, actually. This game also did some pretty insane things to me as a person, but I won't divulge the details here (also my mother thinks i should go to sleep? fuck her, i am staying up until 4am. again). For the time being it altered how I interact with the world, possibly permanently, but it's too early to tell. I am still knee-deep in the brainrot. If you really want, I could elaborate if asked, I don't care that much about privacy.
Anyway thank you for reading this rant? idk why you'd do that, i literally didn't proofread anything i wrote here. Most of it is about Kim anyway. I still have no idea what drugs they put in that character. Literally addicted to him. I think he's not just the 57th's best (or 41st's i guess) but he's just the best. in general. in every category. never figured out what the deal with the gloves was tho.
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stuffed-gutz · 8 months ago
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hey! i've got something to ask, no judgment- i look at blogs like this out of curiosity, and i was wondering what the appeal of gore is to you. could you explain it? it'd also be interesting to know if pain tolerance or your experience of pain have any influence, if you're fine with sharing.
Oh I'm actually kindve excited to finally get this ask, I've seen other guro blogs get similar. I wanted to give it some thought though so sorry it took a while!!
First as far as pain tolerance, I'm kindve a wimp? I'll admit I've self harmed before but despite the fact I do find pain sexy and cool, it doesn't take a lot to make me cry. That doesn't necessarily make it a deal breaker but I'm kindve a huge baby XD
But at the same time, admittedly, I want someone to hurt me. This is TMI even if you asked but I get a lot of sexual gratification from the idea of being killed. I want my body to be enjoyed and used, even if I'm dead. The idea of being cut up and eaten or even fucked is extremely arousing to me. There's an almost worshipful intimacy in dying by someone else's hands and having them discover and learn and maybe even love every part of you. My self esteem is really really low, and its a kind of love I doubt I'll ever experience while alive. I want to be owned and controlled and known inside out and still accepted for everything I am down to the last drop of blood.
Again, that's TMI, but you did ask.
I would also say my obsession with guro started very young. As a kid I had a baby sitter who used to show me horror movies and classic 80s slashers when I was around 7, and it warped my dumdum baby brains the same way that people end up with vore and inflation fetishes from Sonic and stuff. The older I got and the more self loathing, the worse it got.
I've talked to my therapist and she's even said as long as it's fictional & I'm not actively suicidal & it doesn't cause me distress, this isn't harmful as an outlet.
That said, I've also had some experiences with early internet shock sites and irl gore online that for sure fucked me up a little, I've seen more than I really wanted to in some regards and the fascination just kindve kept growing. I have OCD and tend to fall into patterns of obsessive thinking and some very vivid memories and scenarios, so I think that's a part of it? Not sure.
Anyway I hope this helps !! Here's a nice soft safe image for ur troubles
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fellowshipofthenoodles · 9 months ago
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So I don't really know what to do, one of my cresties has decided to not use his hides or the plants he usually uses (he squishes himself behind them while he's sticking to the wall) and he's instead opted to just stick to a small empty piece of glass wall and at first I didn't worry because he would stick his tail to the glass but today his tail was hanging like he had FTS, I've been trying to cluter his tank more ever since he started sleeping there but he doesn't seem to care, he'll just squeeze himself back into the same spot, I've been wanted to get one of those 3d printed hides but I don't really know what size I should get, I'll attach two pictures
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I just don't know why he specifically likes that spot (also sorry they're blurry, I have really shakey hands) he also frequently uses the plants in the back to hide but he's stopped for some reason. (Also his tail is no longer down because I used a branch above him to pin his tail to the wall, not like it's pined pined but it's just laying against the glass now) also I know the bottom is a bit open, I just re-organized it and I've been second guessing it but if you have any ideas please let me know, thank you.
Sorry for the second ask but I actually got a creative urge and I put in an extra vine, along withe the light vine, and then I put in another big plant, I just tried to clutter it as much as I could in hopes he sleeps somewhere else, and i know its not the best, I have the worst time trying to find stuff, im probably going to put some real sticks in there at some point, I just have a hard time figuring out the type of tree
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Sorry for a 4th ask but I had gotten a picture of his pelvic region and I was wondering if it was normal, I had panicked because it was so rare for his tail to fall like that, especially at a 90° angle when it usually fell at a 48° angle. Again sorry for so many asks
Hello! So sorry for how long this has taken @crestiegeckos - lots of irl stuff going on for us as well as asks being weird sometimes.
So it’s possible that it’s FTS if he doesn’t often go on horizontal surfaces or doesn’t have enough horizontal surfaces to be on where he feels safe/comfortable - this is why things like branches and bridges are so important for cresties (and other arboreal geckos). For branches you just need something like cork bark or you can use I think Java wood, bog wood or mopani - any wood that isn’t toxic and can withstand high humidity.
However some geckos don’t enjoy horizontal surfaces even with access to them. Some just end up with FTS because they prefer to be on the glass like that - we’ve seen it occasionally in groups on Facebook.
Saying all this though, sometimes gecko tails can and do go at a weird angle with without FTS. We can regularly see various geckos we own with their tails at weird angles, it doesn’t mean FTS it just means they can move their tails and they aren’t always straight out or curled around them.
But I do also have to say that it could be any number of things and we aren’t qualified to say whether or not it is FTS, something else or nothing. If you see it repeatedly or are worried then I recommend a vet visit. Also try not to disturb your gecko too often with enclosure changes, that can cause a lot of stress to keep adding or moving things around and will make it very hard to settle - try to leave it at least a few weeks between each change so he can adjust to what you’ve done already and try not to make changes while they’re in the enclosure.
I hope this helps.
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rabbitindisguise · 4 months ago
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I think I'm going to socialize less irl (long vent post under the cut)
I feel like I've tried so hard at the Be Normal And Nourished from Normal Hobbies and Normal Interactions but tbh it just has not worked. I have not become neurotypical in the slightest (well, duh, should have expected that) and I feel like I'm struggling extremely badly with literally everything all of the time. Something has to give and I think "something" is "having more time to relax and reflect because I'm not talking to people 5 out of 7 days a week."
The thing is that like, I want to do what works and feels best for me. But I feel like the outside world can't accept "hermit that mainly does stuff by themselves." The alternative however is becoming what seems to be a huge jerk. No one else seems concerned with this, like they think the jerk-ness is an active choice and not one that arrived organically because circumstances despite my attempts at learning coping mechanisms and things to stop it. People will complain about X behavior (reasonable) and then act totally unconcerned when I'm like "look this is happening because I'm literally at the end of my rope. There's no rope left. I need to get more rope. That is the solution. Eating broccoli, no matter how helpful that is, is not going to give me more rope."
We're supposed to be perfect even when we're miserable is the thing isn't it?? Maybe that makes me a bad person (to fail to do "basic decency" in a bad place) but I'd rather be a bad person and antisocial or whatever than an active jerk while attempting doing "normal." This is a very easy decision to make actually.
I just need like a break. Some time to get it together. Idk.
. . . and like, there's so much to unpack form "be normal."
When I was living with other people, I was obsessed with doing chores properly so no one would have reason to be upset with me (because ADHD fears™), and house organizing was always something I deprioritized as something not worth asking for flexibility on, etc. I couldn't set rules and I couldn't stop doing what I felt was useless but crucially I didn't want to get mad at other people about that. So I tried (failed) to manage myself to make that sort of situation possible.
I'm general "doing normal" is "follow conventional health advice like to talk to your friends when you feel bad." Except I feel bad and it doesn't help. Lose/lose.
Who knows what other stuff I've internalized trying to just Do The Magic Thing to become tolerable. I feel like it's an impossible task and people keep congratulating me for trying but I feel like it's not the thing I want to be hearing tbh. Isn't that what everyone wants, to be accepted even when they don't fit societal norms?? "Thank you for trying to not be your weird self" feels icky. They're just trying to be supportive of what I thought was necessary, I know, I just also didn't pull "do normal" out of my ass- it's everywhere. Everyone seems to have an idea of the basic steps someone who isn't good at socializing should do (shower more, sleep more, eat correct things, do hands on hobbies, join clubs, take leadership roles in organizations, practice self help tips, exist in one community for a long time, talk about what other people are interested in, ask questions, practice active listening, assertive communication, setting boundaries, anger management, venting to friends, doing therapy, doing physical activity, etc etc etc). But no one seems to have any idea that sometimes you're just like this. And by "like this" I don't mean socializing- maybe I'll find a balance of something that will work. No, I mean the thing they think is the key to socializing that everyone should do. I cannot physically do all of them- especially when plenty are contradictory.
It's like weight loss right?? You might feel more alone than ever, feel physically ill, and struggle with constant fatigue- but at least from the outside you look normal! :) you did everything possible to carve away the stuff people blamed your problems on only to find that- surprise!- the problems were unrelated and that was one of the few things that made you content to begin with. Where are people then? What advice do they have when it "works" to satisfy them but the cost is too damn high for you? What explanation do they have when the thing they thought all your problems were the source of does not improve your life in any way? If you're only allowed to have problems if you try to look normal, what happens when looking normal becomes one of your problems? Do they take your word on it, that you tried the normal thing and it was uncomfortable. Do they finally stop pressuring you to do the normal stuff. Do they reconsider their priorities. Or were their "suggestions" from a place of not considering your welfare to begin with?
I guess we'll find out.
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