#on testosterone no less

[sleepy-shutin]

i don't care to get into most LGBT discourse but i keep seeing this and frankly, i'm so sick of you people as a ~genderweird dykefag~ lmao.

if you've never read stone butch blues, butch is a noun, the persistent desire, looked at lesbian herstory archives, spoken to transgender and genderfucked lesbians, or read any kind of important historical work about lesbianism, then you don't get an opinion on lesboys, multigender lesbians, transmasc or trans man lesbians, butch lesbians, lesbians on T, NONE of it, because you don't know what the hell you're talking about, and i'm so sick of you people acting like you do because you saw a tiktok or a twitter thread or you read a carrd.

lesboys have existed for longer than most of you have been alive. multigender, transmasc/trans man lesbians and other lesbians playing "5D chess with gender" have existed for longer than you've been alive.

everyone's fine with gay and bisexual men being genderweird and being "a man who's a woman who's a man" and every other kind of genderfucked, but the second a woman or a lesbian/dyke does it, they're viciously attacked by fucking everybody for "bringing men into lesbianism" - as if that's something that transgender women haven't been hearing for decades - and 90% of these people aren't women, lesbians, or even attracted to women.

no wonder you people are so inhospitable to trans women. you hold women and lesbians/dykes to such high standards of femaleness/femininity that when we aren't the kind of woman or dyke you think we should be, you throw a tantrum over it. maybe get out of the online LGBT discourse and into the real world of queer and genderfucked people and broaden your perspectives please.

[bisclavaret]

a day late to my 6 years on t anniversary ✨🏳️‍⚧️ a short comic about looking back

[stench-core]

I find it a bit strange how it's okay and normal to say trans men have 'afab privilege' but if you say trans women have 'amab privilege', that's bad and wrong and incorrect and also maybe you should kill yourself. strange stuff

somehow trans men were 'socialised female' and therefore can 'get away with being women' but trans women were not 'socialised male' and can't 'get away with being men' cos there's something inherently feminine, inherently queer about them.

though, i spent my whole life being called gay, getting asked if i was a butch lesbian, getting asked if i was a tranny, cos i wore pants [girls!] instead of skirts, cos i wore shirts [girls!] instead of blouses, cos i wouldn't wear dresses and would prefer [girls!] formal wear that weren't dresses, cos i liked bionicle instead of dolls, cos i played video games, cos i swore, cos i liked heavier music, cos my favourite colour wasn't pink, cos i wore caps. i would not say i fit into girlhood at all, actually.

but this masculinity was inherent to me, it still is, i couldn't and can not change it (despite trying, very hard, to my detriment) so i ALWAYS stuck out as being 'too masculine' for other girls. and then i come into queer spaces and i'm 'too masculine' for other queer people - but that's besides the point, currently.

so, currently, when i see people say 'trans women aren't "socialised male," that's not real, they always stick out as "other"' and then turn around and say 'trans men have afab privilege, they can be women to get away with things, they fit into girlhood so well' I can't help but become incredibly fucking frustrated. this is not true and actually it's something we have in common! neither of us were socialised 'correctly' cos we're both trans and raised amongst peers who were not trans!

everything from masculine girls to trans men do not fit into 'girlhood' cos masculinity is not what girlhood is meant to be. this shouldn't be hard to grasp. this is why the 'socialised' concept is bullshit cos it's founded on whatever was forced upon you as a kid and if you don't fit that standard you will not be socialised that way due to, in large part, being fucking ostracised from everyone else. and that doesn't mean there won't be things to unlearn, i know very many trans men who were very feminine for a long time and the opposite for trans women, but someone who clearly cannot fit what's being pushed onto them is going to come off as 'strange' and 'uncanny' to the people who can fit into what's pushed onto them.

but the way people talk about this really highlights to me that yous don't want to consider us trans in the first place - transness is for trans women and not for trans men, socialisation concepts are fake when it comes to trans women but real when it comes to trans men cos they're not really trans, 'amab privilege' would get you branded a TERF or radfem saying it to a trans woman but it's fine to say trans men, trans men have 'afab privilege' cos we're not trans, we're just women. you know until we get a little too rowdy and then we're not trans, we're just men.

maybe i'm just jaded and bitter. idk

[slutforpringles]

visacashapprb: Time to regroup and learn from Quali as we get prepped for race day 🇳🇱

[piskelo10]

I don’t like the ADHD butterfly logo thing so I fucking made an ADHD creature

LOOK AT HIM

I made inattentive and hyper version, hope you liek :^)

[thecultofcupid]

Taking testosterone as a trans man is so cool actually. Testosterone is not poison. It isn't evil. It is freeing and beautiful and I love taking testosterone

[infernal-house-demon]

Hey, so for anyone thinking about starting T, I know there’s a lot of info and warnings about side effects to consider, but it also really helps to hear from actual trans folks too! It felt super intimidating to me when I started but it’s been great so far. I’ll share the changes I’ve seen after one month under the cut for anyone who is interested! (For reference I’m on the lowest dose of the gel)

First change I noticed was my smell! I wouldn’t say my BO is worse or anything, I just smell a lot different when I sweat and I do find myself sweating a bit more

Fat redistribution! It’s very subtle so far but my face is definitely changing. My cheeks are less round and my chin is a bit more defined. I can’t tell as much with the rest of my body bc I wasn’t that curvy to start with

On the note of fat redistribution, I’ve actually lost some weight. This is probably far more specific to me and genetic factors but it is something I’ve noticed.

Attraction. I’m still very much bisexual and into women and non-binary people, but my attraction to men has skyrocketed. Especially like big, burly, hairy men. That or femboys, there’s no inbetween lol.

In general starting to find masculine qualities a lot more desirable. Considering getting a packer which is not something I thought I would like before. I think the act of transitioning is allowing me to open my mind more to what I want.

Sex drive. Holy shit this is the biggest change. They are not joking about the T horniness. It can be quite distracting at times which is really the only downside I’ve experienced. Even still, I prefer how I feel now to how I did before.

Slightly more breakouts. They warned me about seeing acne in the first few months, but honestly I don’t feel like it’s been that bad. Plus it’s a little affirming because it means the hormones are working! Again this is one that’s probably specific to me

Assertiveness. I know they warn you about the potential of becoming more aggressive, but as my doctors told me, it’s actually more that you have a lower tolerance for bullshit. Obviously if you do become genuinely aggressive/very angry you should get your dose adjusted. But for me it’s just been making me slowly more assertive in a way I like. It does mean I occasionally have to hold my tongue about things so I don’t say something I’ll regret. But this has been a huge plus for me overall.

Mood/crying. I would say my mood has been better overall. Probably because I feel very affirmed in my gender as I start to change. I also have moved out of my parents’ place and am living on my own so I imagine that has helped too. I’ve heard some people say they can’t cry as much and I have experienced a bit of that. When I’m reading or watching something my eyes might well up but they don’t roll tears. The only time I’ve cried since I started on it was when I injured myself (unrelated) and had a panic attack. But I can’t say for sure if it’s the T or it’s just that I am happier and have better coping skills than I used to. I will say it’s not my immediate stress response anymore, but I don’t feel like my emotions are pent up or anything.

Voice. This one is hard to say for sure because I had a cold recently that opened up my chest register a little more. Any changes are very subtle so far but I do find my resting pitch seems lower than when I started (I’ve been trying to do those “this is my voice day x on T” videos to track it. I’m terrible at remembering)

Cycle. My period has been coming a bit later each month and the pain seems to be getting a bit less intense. Again this one will be very specific to the user.

Bottom growth. Only a very very small amount. I only noticed because I was watching for it. What I’ve experienced more so is increased sensitivity which I feel is a positive.

Most importantly: I’ve been very very happy! I get occasional dysphoria but oftentimes when I look in the mirror I just smile because I can see myself becoming who I want. I feel more confident, I feel hot, and I really truly love myself through each step of the journey.

Obviously there’s a lot to consider, but if you feel like it could be something you want to try and your health is in a place where you can do so, do it! I am lucky to have a great clinic working with me who were very informative (and helped me apply for coverage when I didn’t have insurance!). I’m happy to pass along any online resources they’ve sent me if anyone is interested. Remember, you can always stop if you decide it’s not right for you or you’ve achieved the changes you want to see. It’s a personal journey and it’s entirely up to you. I found it all overwhelming when I was first considering it and I wish I would have had more people to talk to about what it really feels like. Hopefully this can help demystify it for anyone who is curious about what it’s like. We all deserve to craft ourselves into the person we want to be. 🏳️‍⚧️

[theredumbrellatheory]

:3 yeah

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[uncanny-tranny]

On the topic of hormones, I love trans men, transmasculine people, abinary, multigender people, or whomever else who takes estrogen and trans women, transfeminine, abinary, multigender people, or whomever else who takes testosterone.

There is no "right" way to transition. You don't have to be a perfectly binary, gender conforming trans person in order to take hormones. We all have different levels of estrogen and testosterone, and that means women and nonbinary people don't have to have estrogen-dominant systems and men and nonbinary people don't have to have testosterone-dominant systems. Do what sparks joy and if it's shit, hit the bricks!

[sevens-evan]

diy hrt is obviously a net positive for the world and i think it's fine to promote information about it but it is crazy how a) a lot of the people who do promote it have an insane superiority complex about how much better and braver they are than people who go through a medical institution and b) how many of them actually know nothing about it. saw a diy person on here the other day talking abt how finasteride "is well known to literally only affect hair loss and not do anything else" and it's like. it's true that finasteride use in trans men is not studied and anecdotal reports vary wildly but if you know Literally Anything, Even A Single Thing about what finasteride actually does in the body and what dht does as a hormone you would know that's a stupid thing to say. which leaves one to conclude that that person Thought they knew what they were talking about without doing even a single second of googling. not good!

[t4transsexual]

in regards to my pervious post about the spirit bares its teeth, what a truly wonderful day to be st4t and to be a trans man and to have a trans girlfriend and love her like that. what a wonderful thing it is to watch someone grow into their own skin the way you did years ago and will continue to do. what a wonderful day it is to be so opposite that it loops back around to be the same again. what a wonderful day to love how we love and to have what we have. i am so blessed that i get to call this beautiful girl my girlfriend and get to have the relationship i have with her

[muttmedley]

also being on testosterone is great and i'm happy with all the changes but lately the fact that i'm starting to no longer "look like someone who is attracted to women in a gay way" is really weighing on me lmao

[kotoneshiomiofficial]

do tme people realize that transmasc and transfem are words to describe someone's transition. like no actually you can't be transmasc and transfem at the same time because that's not what those words mean! it doesn't mean being masculine or feminine while transgender, it's not about how you express your gender, it's about transitioning to that gender or close to it. like thats why they exist, to describe trans people who are transitioning but don't fit 100% into trans man or woman. okay? it's not about presenting masc or fem

[metanarrates]

maybe being back on testosterone will fix my goddamn energy levels. maybe

[breadbird-reanimated]