#on another note making this post reminded of when i used to post live reactions/reviews on here while reading the haikyuu manga

[whywoulditho]

watching the batman (2022) and i'm only about an hour in BUT GOD.

i cant stop smiling. it's just so much like how i imagine him. it's so much better than all the other adaptations i've seen so far... and the best thing is that the little girl in me that's a detective stories fan is having the time of her life. FINALLY batman is more than punches and kicks. i just love the way he pops out of thin air in crime scenes to solve riddles and be an asshole about it. i cant believe we get to have a batman who puts on black make up under the mask. he looks at children like he wants to comfort them but doesn't know how to. he lives in a gothic castle. what a time to be alive.

[cheri-translates]

Watermelon (a translated one-shot)

I translated this fluffy and mildly suggestive one-shot originally written by 八重垂樱 on Weibo, with permission

Contains references to four e-mails from Gavin’s 100 Days Event. They don’t spoil anything about the main storyline, but don’t continue if you’re averse to anything CN-related!

“Eli took a trip to the countryside and returned with several watermelons. He left us one each...”

“And then?”

Expressionless, your arms are folded across your chest as you look Gavin up and down, noting the sheen of sweat on his forehead. Seeing the way you’re glaring at him, the tips of his ears are tinged with a red hue, and he starts tripping up on his words.

“You know that the fridge at my place isn’t very large, so it can’t hold two watermelons... and watermelons spoil easily when left out. So why not eat it while it’s still fresh? So... so I specially rushed over to bring it to you...”

As he says this, his eyes flit upwards to meet yours. He seems to be pleading for sympathy, and it makes you feel infuriated yet tempted to laugh at the same time.

You deliberately maintain a cold expression on your face and accept the watermelon. “Got it. I’ll take the watermelon, and please thank Eli on my behalf. You can leave now.”

“Ahem. I...”

Gavin freezes, then holds onto the door frame, afraid you’d shut the door on him. With this sight before you, you no longer suppress the laughter bubbling to the surface, and you chuckle. 

“Come in, blockhead.”

You stuff the watermelon back into his arms, then pull him into the apartment, letting the door shut behind you.

--

The cold war began a few days ago. Officer Gavin, who had promised you ten thousand times that he’d take care of himself, led a fleet of men into the midst of out-of-control Evolvers for the ten thousand and one time.

The worst part was that he tried hiding his injuries from you. Upon leaving the hospital after getting his wounds bandaged, he pretended that nothing had happened, accompanying you to Loveland High to visit Mr Keller.

If your suspicions weren’t raised when he kept refusing the glass of wine from Mr Keller’s wife during the meal, he would have hid it from you forever!

Your mind was preoccupied for the rest of the meal. After finding an excuse to leave, you said goodbye to Mr Keller and dragged Gavin back to his apartment. Then, you forced him to take off his clothes to let you check for injuries. 

After confirming that his injuries were not life-threatening, you gave him a harsh glare. Without waiting for the man - who now knew that he was in the wrong - to stop you, you grabbed your bag and slammed the door.

Just like that, the two of you entered a cold war.

On the first day of the cold war, Commander Gavin sent a message:

“Thorny hasn’t had much energy recently. I think you might need to visit him.”

You replied: Maybe it’s grieving over Greenie, who didn’t know how to take care of itself properly.

On the second day of the cold war, Commander Gavin sent a message:

“Minor recommended a gift. After checking its reviews on shopping websites, I think he’s not reliable.”

You replied: Minor also recommended a new flavour of cup noodles. Commander, please enjoy it by yourself.

On the third day of the cold war, Commander Gavin sent a message:

“The wind says that you’re always staying in the office. It can’t feel you, so it misses you a little.”

You replied: Please tell the wind that I'm grateful for its concern. And also get it to remind a certain bad egg who goes back on his word to keep his promises to me.

Actually, your anger had already vanished very early on. You found yourself thinking - about eight hundred times a day - about whether Gavin’s wounds were healing properly. And whether he returned to eating cup noodles since there wasn’t a canteen in STF, and without your handmade bento boxes.

But if you were to forgive him so easily, this fellow would hide his injuries from you again!

Mm, a longer punishment is necessary.

--

“Are we eating the watermelon?”

His voice pulls you back to the present. 

Gavin is at a loss as he stands in the middle of your living room, hugging the watermelon to himself. Not knowing if you’re still angry with him, he tests the waters with the question, carefully gauging your reaction. 

To the Commander of STF who fears nothing on earth, there is nothing more frightening than his girl giving him the cold shoulder.

Instead of giving him an answer, you fire a question.

“How are your wounds?”

“They were fine since a long time ago. They weren’t anything serious to begin with. In the previous mission...” When Gavin sees your expression, he cuts himself off sharply. “Don’t worry, I’m really okay.”

“’Okay’? ‘Wasn’t anything serious’?! Mr Gavin, are you sure?”

Your volume spikes. Why is this guy always like this? He calls it nothing serious when there’s clearly a deep gash on his shoulder?!

“How serious do you want your injuries to be? Like the time Eli had to carry you straight to the hospital? Gavin, could you please place more importance on your life! I already told you, you aren’t alone anymore! If you continue treating yourself like this, I... I will...”

Gavin frantically sets down the watermelon and embraces you. 

“All right, all right, don’t be mad. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault.”

Furious, you struggle in his arms for a second or two before remembering that there are wounds on his body. In the end, you surrender and lean into his arms obediently.

“I’ll vow on Thorny’s life that I won’t do it again!”

“What’s the use of vowing on Thorny’s life? Didn’t you say it was already lacking vitality! Maybe after a few days, you would enrage it to death!”

“Then... Pearly? Or Flyer? Mini Thorny?”

“Gavin!”

“All right...” Gavin tightens his hold, caging you in his arms. He lowers his head and draws nearer to your face, his warm breaths brushing your ear, leaving a numbing sensation in their wake. “Silly. I understand everything you want to say. No matter how dangerous a mission is, and no matter how far I have to go, I know that I always have a home with its lights turned on for me, and a girl waiting behind the door...

“For her, I’ll remember to take good care of myself, and come back safe and sound.”

“Because I’m no longer alone...”

As the voice grows soft, his searing lips gradually meet yours...

In the midst of being kissed dizzy, the only rational thought that drifts to your mind is - 

Does this even count as a lesson to him?

Whatever. Since we’re already here... we’ll talk about the rest later.

---

You feast on the watermelon in Gavin’s arms, and a droplet of bright red juice pelts onto his bare chest. Feeling mischievous, you lean over and lick it off directly, successfully re-igniting the flames in the eyes of the man before you.

“Don’t move. We haven’t finished our earlier discussion.”

Swatting away his hand before it comes an inch closer, you lift your chin and look at him teasingly. “So who is the one who misses me? Thorny? Sparky? The wind?”

“Cough.”

“Tell me quickly, or else...”

Pretending to bare your fangs and brandish your claws, you lunge onto him, but accidentally press the remote control in the process. The television on the wall switches on, displaying the news. 

The person who is having an interview just happens to be the one who gave the two of you watermelons - Eli. 

“Most of the employees in STF are amiable and approachable, especially the aunties in the canteen - they would always pile on more dishes for relatively skinny-looking members...” Eli dons his best smile as he tells the public more about STF, with absolutely no idea about the tragic fate awaiting him the next day.

[Important Context] The official MLQC Weibo account posted fun facts of Loveland City in celebration of the game’s 1000-day anniversary (which I translated here). One of the facts concerns STF, which is basically what Eli is saying above

However, in “Go See Him”, Gavin has a line where he says: “There isn’t a canteen in STF, but the nearby eateries aren’t bad.”

In another line, he says: “My colleagues would sometimes bring handmade bentos...”

So... is this a genuine mistake on Papergames’ part, or has Gavin been lying so MC would make him bentos LOL

"Yes, there has always been a canteen in STF ever since it was built. Apart from the Commander, other team members can also have their meals there.”

“What does the Commander eat? That’s a secret for you to find out the next time you interview him directly hahaha.”

...

"G A V I N.”

You boil with rage, whipping your head around to glare at the “Serial Liar”. Before waiting for you to continue, he acts first, flipping you over and pinning you underneath him.

“Give me a proper explanation about the canteen!”

“All right. But... we’ll talk after getting our fill.”

The sweet fragrance of watermelon permeates the air. 

On this late summer evening, it seems like this man will need a very, very long time to be satiated...

-

[ Permission to Translate ]

八重垂樱: Sure, thank you for liking it

[best-enemies]

I have to write an actual review on Gallifrey TW4 for the podcast I’m in but I have a writer’s block, so here are some of my thoughts on the box because I need to yell about it somewhere and my friends are pissed that I keep yelling on twitter. Spoilers ahead!

Don’t expect anything coherent to come out of this post I’m just going to throw stuff in this post and if you get it you get it lol. It’s not like I have fully recovered from the blow anyway... 

Deception is a great introdution to the box and probably one of the best Gallifrey audios. I hate it when the OT4 gets separated (and that it happens all the time!), and in this case it happens between Narvin and Leela. However, it’s always great to see Leela working on her own and interacting with other people. When she tried to save those people from the resistance, the way she dealt with the situation even when she felt lost because she couldn’t trust her senses - a tool Leela values a lot as a warrior and a hunter - was absolutely incredible and it reminded me (not that I could ever forget that) of how much I love and admire her. 

Listening to them being inside the distortion field felt like a really bad trip 

All I could think throughout the box and not just Deception is that Leela had a crush on Eris and man I can’t blame her at all not only he was a great guy he’s really good looking and I got a crush on him too akshdashdkjaks

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really like Livia. She’s not evil, she just makes a lot of bad choices and she has this problem of being too much on the fence, which is not the characteristic of a true leader. She was never one. But still, even if I don’t remember the content of the earlier audios she’s in I’ve always liked her. And I liked that she finally chose a side in the end. I mean, she did when she helped the resistance, and that was a good beginning.

 Also can I interest you with my headcanon that she was Romana’s girlfriend at the Academy and they broke up? Lol Anyways, when she heard that Romana had “died” she was shocked and later on complimented her as a person and I kind of wish we saw more of them on good terms

Now, on Dissolution: I love Narvin. That’s pretty much it lol. Before starting Gallifrey my friend gave me a spoiler which was basically, “you’re gonna love Narvin”. Well, at first I really liked his voice - it was funny and cute and voices are an important thing to me. Of course, even if he seemed funny to me, unfortunately he was a total xenophobic asshole. He had convictions, he had layers which made him very interesting, but still, an asshole. Which makes me really proud to see how far he has come, how much he’s grown. When he joined Romana’s side I soon realized that my friend was right; Narvin had one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. He went from Romana’s political rival, if I could put it that way, to one of her most trusted allies and best friends. And he found out that he could still fight for and protect his home, but using the right tools, doing it the right way. Dissolution showed that contrast between the old Narvin and what he wanted and the new Narvin, and honestly? I could almost call this episode a moment of relief amongst the chaos. Narvin has become one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse and one of my all time favorites as well.

Alright... now we get to Beyond *deep breaths*. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I spent months since listening to Unity living in a total hell not knowing if Romana was alive or not. I couldn’t believe that that was her ending, that she wouldn’t show up again for their last hurrah, and that my favorite companion ever was gone forever. But then, BF announced the cover, and the description for the episodes, and her name came up, and I could finally breath. My friend and I started theorizing that maybe Braxiatel had dematerialized the TARDIS around her and saved her in the last second - which is kind of what happened, I mean, the description said he wasn’t ready to give up on her! So they go to that place called Beyond, and shit happens. Those ravenous bitches were there eating people and shit. They even ate Narvin - I almost started crying in the middle of the bus, telling myself he wasn’t our Narvin, but he was a Narvin and it still hurt. I wanted to fight those ravenous myself. And not just that, Romana went through hell watching Leela die in front of her, and her reaction was really heartbreaking. 

Aaand that kind of brings me to a point here, something that bothered me. Romana and Brax, as always, spent the audio bickering a little, but they had their moments as well. Like when Brax says that it’s good to see her smile again, when he says (sorry I don’t remember it word by word) something like, she couldn’t die and that she’s supposed to be the best of the Time Lords, when she calls him her friend, and when she asks with a soft voice if he’s coming back to Gallifrey. And it was sweet. Like, they have a lot of issues, but they also have good feelings towards each other. Despite everything they care about each other, and it shows. Which is why I got really confused about Romana’s reaction when Brax was eaten by the ravenous. I remember I even thought she wasn’t around when it happened, that he had left and was somewhere else (I have a little difficulty paying attention), but then my friend said she was. So I was like... wait, she saw her friend, whom she’s known for most of her life (and more than she can even remember) die in a truly horrible way and didn’t even react to that? I’m not blaming Romana, I think this is really out of character for her. She may have difficulty expressing her feelings but she would never, ever react so coldly to the death of a friend. 

Now, on Brax’s death... I was really devastated. At first, as always I got confused and thought the older Brax was an older version of him, somehow. Even if he died, I was like, this is confusing, but it’s Brax? So I was weary, but still, I thought “well at least he’s safe now, on another universe in the Beyond”. But then my friend said “no, that’s an alternative Brax, the one we know is dead”. And that’s when I felt my stomach drop. IT HURT SO BAD. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know everything about Brax, or about the depth of his character, I’m still very early on the Benny audios and only have listened to him on Gally and a few audios here and there. People who have more knowledge on him say that the way he was written wasn’t really accurate, and that can be true, but I won’t get into that because I don’t know for myself. Still, Brax is one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever known. I loved him from the beginning. I got mad at him so many times during the series, felt as betrayed as Romana did, heard about a lot of dark shit he’s done, but still I could never hate him. I got a little bit too attached to him, which is why his death felt absurd and unnecessarily cruel. I don’t think for a moment that Brax deserved that, as I said I don’t know everything about him but something in my heart tells me that things could’ve gone another way. I knew he could die in the finale but not like this. And it’s a bit hard to put into words how much I hate the ending he got and how much I’ll miss him. I just hope he comes back, I mean, he always does, BF writers need to figure something out I don’t even care lol

I had to edit the post because my dumb ass forgot about one of my favorite and at the same time one of the most bittersweet moments of Beyond: Brax asking about the Doctor and saying leaving Gallifrey was a “family thing”. I love them and there isn’t enough stuff out there from the Lungbarrow siblings for me. He talks so fondly of the Doctor and now all I think about is that he never mentioned him in the series but thought of him on the last hours of his life... brb I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom

Oh god. Okay, Homecoming. I’ll start on a light note and say some stuff about Hot Rassilon: Richard Armitage nailed it. I’ve always liked him as an actor and I got thrilled when he was announced. His voice is like, the one I want to hear when I get my name called up in Heaven - or Hell, which is where I’m going - and his speeches were really powerful. Still, I wish they could’ve given him more to do. Of course, I understand that this is where they wanted to go with him - Hot Rassilon going batshit crazy and calling himself a god and coming up with some stupid fanfiction about the Time Lords becoming gods of everything, yada yada. I loved his interactions with the Dalek Emperor, the first thing I thought (besides the fact that it was really funny) was that it showed two despots with a god complex playing chess with the universe and discarding their people as garbage, fighting for their own personal power and not for the collective. Of course, I don’t expect the Daleks to care about each other - they want to spread throughout the galaxies and gain absolute power, not bring social well-being to their own. But that should apply to the Time Lord Society, and we see that Hot Rassilon doens’t give a flying fuck about that. 

I feel like I should reinforce the fact that I actually hate Rassilon. I call him hot but I hate him. I can do both

Once again, I need to point out the emotional moments between the galligang. It all felt so off. As someone pointed out here (sorry, I saw the post but don’t recall who said it now): it’s a war and there’s little time for grief, however, it’s not like they’re just grieving the loss of a group of people they’re not familiar with. The galligang are the closest thing they have to a family with each other. They’ve been through all sorts of things together, created a deep bond and have crossed the universe to find each other. And then, that Dalek ship blows up, with Narvin still in it, and... nothing. Leela even asked Romana if they could’ve done something and she says if the bracelet thingy had been working he would’ve come back already. And that’s it. At first I didn’t even understand, I was like “wait, he was really still inside the ship? And it blew up?”, because once again, I couldn’t tell from the way they reacted, I was only sure when they had that exchange. And of course, I started sobbing, because my favorite character was dead. I guess the writers wanted to focus on the war and political aspects and shit but did they forget that Gallifrey was about these three specific people and that their relationship was the core of the series, not just the politics? 

Okay, moving on. Leela and Romana once again end up on Gallifrey and run into Hot Rassilon. Did I mention I found him a bit scary? Well, I did mark me down as scared & horny.

Aaaaaand he decides to lock Romana up in a pocket universe. It surprised me, because I thought he would execute her. I find that he wanted to do that because Romana was the president who wanted to take Gallifrey into the future, to make it a prosperous and advanced society who left all their fears of the unknown and prejudices behind. And now he locked her up in the past. Get it? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but this was the first thing I thought. But I cannot even begin to tell you all how RELIEVED I am that she’s alive, and that there could be a possibility - even if a very tiny one - that she could escape. It’s Doctor Who, so everything is possible. EDIT: Now I’m sad because Leela will die after the end of the Time War and Romana will know about that, and all her friends are gone, and she believes the Doctor isn’t the man she once knew so she can’t rely on him, and she’s alone, and I’m FUMING because I’m still processing the whole thing and I hadn’t realized that. She’s totally alone and now I’m crying once again. I HATE IT HERE

As for Leela, I want to see what’s next for her. I haven’t gotten into the other Time War stuff yet, this is my first introduction to the actual thing, but I heard that she’s gonna fight alongside the War Doctor and might be on the War Doctor Begins boxset. But man listening to her and Romana having to depart like that broke my heart. And now I know that she’ll be protecting Gallifrey because of Romana, because Romana represents the best in Gallifrey.

*Phew* okay, that was a lot. I don’t even know if I covered everything, but I managed to make more sense than I thought I would at the beginning of this post. I don’t know man I’ve been crying for hours, went to sleep at 2am crying because of Narvin and Brax and woke up at 7am and my first thought was them, dying again... I don’t even know anymore, I guess I’ll either focus on uni and my job or curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of my life lolololol

Now I want to write a post with my theories on how the entire galligang is alive and in the epilogue in my head they have reunited and are all living together happily. Maybe it’ll be my next post.

[gypsydanger01]

THE STORM - Part fifteen

Fandom: The Boys (Amazon prime tv series)

Pairing: Black Noir x OC

A/N: SEMI IMPORTANT Hey guys! Just a heads up. When they use sign language, you will be able to understand from the context and signal verbs, as well as the fact that the dialogue is italicized and in quotation marks. 

A general rule for this story: italicized words are thoughts, italicized words with quotation marks are signed.

Hope this doesn’t cause any confusion!!

Disclaimer: I don’t own The Boys, only my OC characters and certain pieces of au plot.

Comments, reviews, constructive criticism, and other requests are always more than welcome!

  Posting new chapters on Wednesday and Friday!

  The Art of Sign Language

On Thursday night, she stayed at home, brimming with anticipation. She felt alight and ready for any possible obstacle. However, one thought kept tugging at the corners of her mind. Noir. She should be thankful he’d lost interest, since this meant she could operate without a watchful gaze following her every move. And yet, it saddened her. She’d been close to learning the truth about the man beneath the mask… now, she was left with her questions and doubts. She gazed at the worn sign language book laying dejectedly on the coffee table in the living room. Oddly, she missed him.

But that Thursday night, right as she came to terms with his absence, and the end of whatever dangerous dance she’d began with him, he proved her wrong.

Hearing a knock at the door, Sarah cautiously raised from her seat and inched towards her entrance. Slipping her dagger into her back pocket, she peered through the peephole and was surprised by the sight. There he was. Noir was there knocking on her door. She hesitated. Had he found out who she was? Was he there to finish her off? He undoubtedly knew she was at home, since she was sure he could hear her heartbeat through the door. She ultimately decided to play dumb. The brunette quickly fixed her hair, pushing her locks down. Glancing into the entrance mirror, she wiped the dumb smile off her face and stood taller, more confident.

She immediately unlocked the multiple locks in place and swung the door open.

She took him in, a slight smirk playing on her lips.

“So, you learned how to use the door,” she playfully questioned with a raised eyebrow.

He nodded and quickly glanced to his sides, which reminded her of how exposed he was under her porchlights. She quickly ushered him inside.

He moved into the space with ease, and Sarah gladly noted how he seemed more comfortable than their initial meetings.

As they moved into the living room, she asked, “So what have you been up to?”

He raised one finger as if to ask for a moment and slipped a phone out of one of his many suit pockets. He tapped away at the screen and finally held it out for her to hold. It was a video on YouTube, and as she watched, she realized it was a commercial.

Her eyed widened. “Oh,” she understood, “you sir, have been busy.”

He scanned the room and saw their usual notebook lying on a counter. He quickly swept it up and wrote. I wanted to stab myself.

She laughed, “I’m sure—,” she watched the video again in amusement. “Man, they put you to work.”

He scribbled Ha Ha.

“I mean look at those shiny knives, and that ninja flip—”

Her playful teasing was cut short as he bent down and picked up the small booklet on the coffee table. He stared at the title before turning it for her to see: Sign Language for beginners.

She could imagine the questioning look twisting his features. He tilted his head in confusion, waiting for an explanation. Noir couldn’t help but wonder if she’d gotten it for him. If she truly wanted to communicate with him. He found that she liked him enough for them to be friends, but did she really enjoy his presence enough to invest her time in learning to communicate with him this way?

She inhaled deeply, thinking of how to explain herself without seeming clingy or overeager. She was afraid of scaring him away.

“Well, I just thought it’d be nice to communicate in a more direct way, y’know—it’d surely be easier, since you wouldn’t have to write and all,” she began, taking quick glances at him to gauge his reaction. “I started learning some, and if you’d like I can teach you what I know… we could make up some signs and it would just be nice, don’t you think?”

He stayed silent, and she attempted to fill in the void. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming back, but I saw the book and I thought of you. It’s alright if you don’t want to.”

He tilted his head the other way, as if he were seeing her in a new and different light. She couldn’t tell if it was a good sign or a bad one. Finally, he moved forward and stopped right in front of her. She focused on breathing, as he placed the palms of his hands on the sides of her head. He lifted her face towards him and gave her a simple kiss on the forehead. Noir gazed at her intently before moving past her and sitting on the couch.

She stood still, just as shocked as she was after he’d shown her affection in the kitchen many nights ago. She moved towards the small couch chair she usually occupied when she heard him clear his throat.

She glanced back at him as he patted the seat beside him. He held her light blue blanket in his hands. She felt warm at the gesture and couldn’t help the blush that was probably flaring across her cheeks. She sat beside him, and he carefully wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. She raised her legs onto the couch, sitting crisscrossed in the corner facing him.

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

He nodded and placed the book between them before taking the notebook back into hand.

Teach me.

She smiled and he felt warm under her attention.

“Okay, well they suggest starting out with the alphabet and then moving onto key words or phrases for conversations,” she began explaining.

Noir pulled his gloves and set them aside. She briefly glanced at them, noting the web of scars she hadn’t noticed before, but quickly returned her attention to his mask.

As she taught him the alphabet she found it amazing how focused and committed he was. Maybe it had much to do with his powers, but he was an extremely fast learner and they quickly went through the alphabet, signing yes and no, and simple conversation starters.

At a certain point, her legs began to itch with the need to move. Halfway towards numbness, she uncrossed them to stand and shake them out. She was stopped, however, when Noir scooped her legs up into his lap, running his hands over her calves clad in sweatpants. He massaged them and she sighed in delight.

She tried to sign to him by stringing together some of the words they’d learned, “Feels amazing”

He nodded, and she imagined him smiling at her. A bright white smile, contrasting his toffee brown skin. She withheld the blush creeping up her neck and distracted herself by practicing different signs with him.

He fixated on her face and the content look in her eyes.

“I really like you.”

Sarah raised her eyes to him, caught off-guard.

He took the notebook back into hand, as they hadn’t yet covered the signs he’d need to explain himself. She was his happy place, a radiant sun that kept him warm.

In fact, you’re the only person I really like.

Once she’d read his confession, she laughed. “Well, you’re not much of a people person, are you?”

He shook his head. I’m a people person if you are the person.

Sarah cast her eyes down watching his hands lightly gripping her calves.

She signed in the silence, “I really like you too”

She was falling fast, and she didn’t know what to do. She enjoyed his presence and missed him when he was gone. And if they were in another world, it might have worked out for them. But she was not Sarah Burns, she was Marianna Stacker. She was no regular Vought employee; she was a spy plotting its downfall. Already the night after, she would be infiltrating the building to steal and replace information. Her and Noir were opposing forces, in a precarious balance.

Still, she laughed with him when she made mistakes and practiced their new form of communication, perfecting her signing. He suggested some signs for certain words, and she found it comforting, almost intimate. They had a way of communicating that was truly their own.

Oh, how muddied the lines had become. She felt a connection, an underlying understanding passing through them. What would happen to it when the truth emerged?

  MASTERLIST

Tag list: @ateliefloresdaprimavera @ellejo @dust-bun @coco724  @proximio-5 @damiminator @omegahighendpro @rpgluvr95 @sweetrabbitteamx  @rayray1463​

[megbox]

2020 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

2020 is a weird year because as the world goes through something collectively extremely traumatic and that is radically changing the structure of our lives, our workplaces, the way we connect socially, our mental health… our response to disease…. SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD…. And yet the day-to-day of living in a pandemic is so… mundane. I am privileged enough to have that opinion. I have stayed securely employed and it is privilege for my main reaction to something as intense as this pandemic to be boredom. But really, 2020 was a year of absences. It was a year spent largely alone, in my own company. It was a year that forced me to rest. It was a year that made me feel so terribly lonely but also forced me to get acquainted with myself and enjoy my own company in a new way. And it was a year of running. 

I would also like to thank Connor for making this post happen by reminding me to do it and not to break tradition. 

January & February 

I am combining these months because they were not altogether all that memorable. My resolutions, as I noted on Twitter on January 2, were to 1) Keep running and 2) Learn how to make fresh pasta dough. I can safely say – mission accomplished on both fronts. 

On January 14, I had the privilege of presenting a suicide intervention lecture to students at the medical school where my brother goes. By that time, I’d done a million of these presentations so nerves aren’t really a factor (imagine that! Me, no longer remotely afraid of public speaking…), but this one meant a little extra to me. My brother is so highly accomplished, and I am so proud of him, and I enjoyed having an opportunity to show him what I do and make him proud of me. I wore my favourite dress and did my hair all nice and he described it later as “exceptional.” It was a really, really good feeling. The first weekend of February, Ali and I had planned to go to Jasper. We wanted to go for a hike or two, and get super stoned and go to the planetarium. A huge blizzard hit Alberta just before we were supposed to leave, so we ended up having a staycation here in Calgary. We rented a hotel room, went swimming, drank wine, went to Japanese Village, had drinks in the lounge and then later to a punk rock band roulette night at the Palomino and finally crawled into our giant hotel bed and fell asleep to Remember the Titans… of all movies. It was the kind of night where you simultaneously feel 18 and 35 years old. 

March 

March was when the pandemic really started to become real. I don’t know exactly why, but I did not take the threat of coronavirus very seriously until the last minute. My coworkers would whisper about it in the hallways and I just rolled my eyes. But then, people started deciding they would work from home, the number of us in the office dwindled. The vibe was bad. Nobody could really focus. They held meetings at 8am and 4pm every day just for COVID-19 updates and we all waited with bated breath for them to finally tell us to go home and not come back. I really feel like I didn’t acknowledge the true implications of this virus until we got the official work from home order, and I had to tell my boss, my laptop at home is too old to run this software, I need a work tablet. My first official work from home day was March 23, 2020. I don’t remember much about that time except that the general sense of panic and anxiety made my job a lot busier, and it is hard to do a job like mine from home because it is hard to counsel or reassure clients through anxieties that are hitting you just as hard. I coped with wine, a lot of running, and listening to Ben Gibbard’s afternoon live streams where he would play acoustic versions of Death Cab songs and other covers. He played New Slang by the Shins one night and I burst into tears. I also coped with teaching myself how to make fresh pasta dough, and enjoying what was, at that point in the pandemic, the novelty and fun of Zoom. 

April 

In the absence of being able to have a party for my birthday, I decided to be obnoxious and do a “challenge” on my Instagram story. I asked my friends to record a distance run and/or walked and send it to me as a birthday present. My actual birthday ended up being a cold and windy and pretty miserable day. I ran 12km myself, came back home and watched both Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, and then went to my parents’ to celebrate both Scott and I’s birthdays with our family. My friends dropped off presents to my door and drove past my house and honked and I felt very loved and appreciated. I drank a lot of Prosecco with my brother and we listened to Kacey Musgraves. 

It was also in April that I become “acquainted” with my neighborhood running nemesis. I put acquainted in apostrophes because I have never actually spoken to him. On one fateful run in April, I happened to catch up to him on my regular route. This was at the height of the COVID fear and so, while I would usually just pass someone on the sidewalk, I went out into the street. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and SPED UP. WHICH IS SUCH BAD RUNNER ETIQUETTE LIKE DUDE I’M IN THE ROAD LET ME PASS YOU. And then we ended up in this like, all-out 100m-finals-at-the-motherfucking-Olympics sprint challenge when all I was trying to do was go for a leisurely training run. And then I finally passed him, turned a corner and had to like collapse on to my hands and knees to catch my breath. Since then, I see this man running all the time. Sometimes while I am also running, sometimes from my car when I am driving through my neighborhood. He’s like… 16. And we are very competitive with one another. I hope to one day actually say hello to him. I both hate that guy and have to thank him for the motivation. 

I ran my first half marathon on April 13, 2020. I was very hungover because I had stayed up quite late with someone on Zoom the night before on a virtual “first date” that had gone much better than anticipated. I don’t know why but I woke up the next morning in such a good mood that I decided I would go for a long, slow run. I got to 18km and figured, what’s 3.1 more? And so, I did it. The first thing I did upon finishing was call my mom. The second thing I did was contemplate calling an Uber to drive me the 2km left to my house. The other notable thing in April is that Maddy moved back from Australia, begrudgingly and a LOT earlier than planned, because of COVID. 

May

May was kind of a blur. It was the first month of the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which I signed up for while coming off of the high of actually running a half marathon all by myself. The GVRAT was fucking awesome. It was created by Lazarus Lake, of Barkley Marathons fame. The ask is to run 1022.68km between May 1 and August 31, an average of about 8.3km per day. Well, you could run, walk, or hike. This is the actual distance it would take you to cover the state of Tennessee. Myself and about 20,000 other weirdos from around the world signed up for this challenge. I figured I would never get a chance to run in a Lazarus Lake race for real, and being home all the time opened up a lot more opportunity for training. It was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2020. So May involved a lot of running, because I was fresh and naïve and fully intended to be ahead of the curve. I was running about 10-12 per day, sometimes more, and not taking any rest days. 

In between these runs, I spent a lot of time going on long, ambling quarantine walks with Maddy. We would either go for a long walk or she would come over and we would get absolutely hammered in my backyard playing beer pong just to pass the time. We would send snapchats to our exes and make TikToks like 18 year olds. I know we never really said it out loud but having eachother during this time made these months bearable. We were lamenting the loss of a summer, and Maddy’s time in Australia, and all of the expectations we had for ourselves. We were watching our friends in relationships move in together or get closer due to the quarantine. We needed companionship, and stupid things to laugh about, and love, and distraction. And I can genuinely say I would not have gotten through this quarantine period if it weren’t for the nights I spent shooting Pink Whitney and dancing to Party in the USA in my living room with her. 

May 13th was my one year anniversary of working at the university. It felt good to have accomplished so many things in that time, and have moved up already in my job, and to have a full-time, permanent contract.

And May 16th was when I ran my second half-marathon as part of a virtual challenge put on by a friend of a friend. My parents came and sat in lawn chairs in the park while I did loops. They cheered me on and filled my water bottle for me when I ran out. They’re my number one supporters and I love having a family that does that kind of shit for me in the face of something arbitrary like a virtual half marathon challenge. I knocked 7 minutes (!) off my original time. Amazing what not being hungover can do for your fitness levels. 

June 

I don’t remember many important things about June, other than Maddy moving to Banff. It was depressing but I was also happy for her and happy to have an excuse to go out there and visit. I went the very first weekend after she moved. Halfway through June I seriously contemplated quitting the GVRAT. My shins were bruised, I was dreading every single run, and I could not fathom doing it for 2.5 more months. I was dragging behind in the standings and losing my motivation. 

I spent a lot of time with friends reading in parks. Sometimes, often, with wine. I met a stranger in Canmore Park and ended up kissing him. He was lovely. 

Ali and I had one really good day in June where we went to the Farmer’s Market and then came back to her place and watched Ru Paul’s drag race for like eight straight hours. It was one of those days where we hadn’t seen each other in so long and you just feel totally high off of friendship and absolutely everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. I vividly remember it as one of the best days of the year. 

July

Again, July kind of passed in a blur. I did a lot of hiking, and a lot of running… keeping up with the GVRAT. I hiked Picklejar Lakes, Castle Mountain, Little Beehive Lookout. 

I went to Banff for a weekend to hang out with Maddy. We had a predictably wild weekend with her roommates and friends. We had dinner at Chili’s (hell yeah) and then went to High Rollers for beers and bowling. The “thing to do” at that point for all of these Banff people was to meet at the “rec grounds” aka public firepits and drink. The police would generally leave you alone so long as you weren’t being rowdy. I sat next to an Australian named Josh at a picnic table and later took him back to my hotel room and he gave me the world’s most unbelievable obvious hickey. Maddy and I sweat out the tequila shots the next day with a long ass hike, and then had a nap before her brother came and took us climbing at the Sunshine slabs – an activity I was not very good at but I wanted to be good at. It was the kind of weekend where you feel like, okay, I definitely indulged my wild side. And you drive home just like totally exhausted but smiling. I sent Maddy’s brother a voice note on my way into town thanking him for taking us climbing and saying it was nice to see him.

August

Okay – August was actually really eventful. Like most of the year’s events happened in August, honestly. A lot of running and hiking. I did Ha Ling Peak for the first time, and we did a 30km hike to Aylmer Pass one day that was a fricken GRIND. I spent the long weekend in Saskatchewan. We went to a cidery, and I ran laps around my Dodo’s acreage, and then we got to visit Wakaw Lake and reunite with our old next-door neighbours. We took the boat out and went tubing and lit fireworks and had an amazing dinner and honestly it was like reliving my childhood in the best, best, best way. I fell asleep on the car ride home. 

I went camping with Ali in Sylvan Lake. We got ice cream and cooked fish tacos over the campfire. She told me that Cody had a date planned for the day they took possession of their house, that she wondered if he might ask her to marry him but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case it didn’t happen and ruin what otherwise was supposed to be a celebratory day. Spoiler – he did ask her to marry him  I was running when she called me. I was listening to Epsilon by Kygo, and now when I hear that song I always think of them. I stopped my watch and just openly bawled on the street out of happiness for them. 

Steven successfully defended his master’s thesis. We went camping in Waterton to celebrate with Matt, Kennedy, Regan, Scott, and Rie. They brought cake. We did a sunrise hike. I slept in the back of my Ford Escape. 

On August 27, Ollie passed away. It was both expected and unexpected. He had been having some issues with seizures. The vet didn’t think it was anything to be too concerned about, he was old and it wasn’t uncommon for them to happen. It happened suddenly. I had a terrible sleep that night, and woke up in a cold sweat somewhere between 3 and 4 am. In the morning, my mom called me and told me the news. He had a giant seizure in the night and was crying and yelping. They woke up and took him to the emergency vet, they made the executive call to put him down to prevent any further suffering. He died right around the time I woke up in the middle of the night. I like to think that was his way of saying goodbye, maybe. I cried all day. Well, let’s be honest, I cried all week. I burst into tears at the mere thought of him. He was such a good and lovely dog. He was so loved by us. He had a good life. It is always sad when we lose pets so early. They bring so much joy to our lives, and still when I go to my parents’ place the first thing I want to do is call for him or pet him. I hope he is running around in whatever the pet afterlife is. I miss him. 

And on August 31, I ran my last kilometre of the GVRAT. I finished with 733.78 run, 83.18 hiked, and 205.09 walked. 

September

September was a nice break from running. I got to start coming to campus one day a week, on Thursdays, which was good for my mental health and work productivity. I got to spend September long in Vernon with Maeghan and Madison at Michael’s family’s cabin. They took us boating and made us meals and didn’t judge us for drinking margaritas with Michael’s sister literally all day. It was the best. It was the epitome of every summer weekend you dream about. I was so happy I got to go. 

I met a boy in September. It’s always September, isn’t it? It feels weird to write about him. Like, that makes him significant. But. He is significant. And I met him in September. And it was unexpected. Last minute. And essentially not a day has gone by since that day in September that I have not thought about him.

I also joined a Calgary Sport and Social Club team with my friends for softball and it started in September. We played two games and then I tore my hamstring running from second to third base. I tore… my hamstring…. Running like 30 metres…. After a summer of literally running 10+ km every day. I… it was the worst day ever. Softball itself was amazing and so fun even though I really do suck at the sport but highly recommend Rec League C-level beer league softball with all of your best friends. There’s just no way that isn’t fun. 

October 

A lot of pouting about my hamstring, I went to two physio sessions and then decided to just start running again. I’m bad. I’m a bad example. Don’t do what I do… but also…. It worked. 

I went to Victoria to visit Sydney over the Thanksgiving weekend. We went to a Thanskgiving potluck party at my old coworker’s place. It was a nice experience to be the new people at a party, to have a room full of new people to meet and who ask you questions about your life. We got really drunk and they tried setting Sydney up with one of their roommate’s brothers, and gave us lipstick to try, and poured us tequila shots. We had such an amazing meal. It was honestly so fun. We laughed in the cab the whole way back about how we were going to need to debrief that evening HARD the next morning. We watched a lot of All Gas No Brakes, and went for dinner and brunch and I limped up Mount Doug with my hamstring. It was a very very chill weekend, like we spent a lot of time just lounging at Sydney’s apartment and doing nothing. Because that is the kind of friends we are. It was so relaxing and lovely. I was sad to leave. 

Karla, my roommate, left for New York at the end of October. Her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she and her mom made the executive move to go there to basically be with her for the end of her life. She wasn’t going to be back until December. I was happy, because it’s nice to have a place to myself, but also sad because Karla is lovely and I knew it was going to be a stressful situation for her. 

November / December

I am combining these two months because they have also been largely uneventful. In fact… I don’t know if I could really tell you anything significant that happened. We’ve been in a lockdown. I’ve spent my time playing piano, watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, basically doing all of the things I usually do when I’m bored. Lots of Among Us. Lots of outdoor things… skating… more running. We’ve been in a lockdown since early December. Time has dragged on since then. I spent Christmas with my parents. Scott and Rie stayed isolated, because Scott is in and out of the hospital for school. My mom and I watched shitty Christmas Hallmark movies and made fun of the guys who star in them. We drank a LOT on Christmas Eve and both spent Christmas with a wicked hangover. My dad and I ate edibles and I was launched into the stratosphere. I spent New Year’s Eve with Boy from September. We played beer pong, and card games, and he tried to use a coat hangover to pick the lock on the mysterious room that my landlord keeps locked. We spent most of the night kissing, honestly. I was happy to spend the last moments of the year with him.

2021: 

Honestly... at this point... who really knows? 

[imagine-fight-write]

RANDOM - Banana Fish Review, Vol. 1, Part Four

(This was one of my fav gifs looking for gifs of Shorter.)

*There will be pictures/gifs included tomorrow, because this is already late & loading them is taking forever, for some reason.

Haha, no, I actually prettied it up 1/5/21. Yes, I’m glorious.

No I’m actually Dio DIO in this situation, who am I kidding.

(This transition from Caesar to Dio fascinates me, by the way.) (The GIF.)

The JOJO reference is because I’ve finally finished Diamond is Unbreakable! It was fun! I enjoyed it a lot! Ready for the next part!

But back to Banana Fish.

Hope you enjoy this!

So my plans failed again. Who is surprised? (Not me.)

I apologize profusely for the gaping void of Banana Fish-ness left since last I posted.

No really. I now have an alarm set for every Wednesday.

Let’s see how this goes. News Update: Maybe next time.

Also, my internet is still blitzy & rotten, otherwise I would’ve posted this yesterday (the 15th).

Now on to the in-depth, delighted gushing - er, review, of Banana Fish!

*Also, this is part 4, and 4 is a special number for me. Because of this guy:

And I can spell his name correctly!!! (It’s Ulquiorra, from Bleach, my 1st anime fan gushing love.)

Yes, I’m strange. Moving on.

So, brief recap, since I’m not sure anyone has read Part 3, given how terrifyingly long it is. If you missed it, here’s the link:

https://imagine-fight-write.tumblr.com/post/632014616404344832/random-banana-fish-review-vol-1-part-3-my

Please love & like it & repost to the rest of the Web. I worked tremendously hard on it.

Yes it’s long, but oh, it was delightful! There was snark! Delicious food! Wine! Fabulous mustaches! Mysteries! I gushed so much!

(And snarled at the wonton waste of good breakfast food, which I will not forget & always condemn.)

*I mean, I know people who will throw up if they have breakfast in the morning. But it’s important to eat so you have energy to do things & feel good.

And Dino took a perfectly beautiful breakfast & essentially wasted it for no good reason. I was so mad.

We meet Dino Golzine, a.k.a., Ash’s worst nemesis /enemy (note, I can’t spell nemesis) and major reason for why his life sucks.

(Although society doesn’t help either. Though the police try. They really do. Except what’s his face who’s complete scum & thoughtless, but we won’t meet him til Vol. 2. Plus I don’t think he has a name?)

But yes, Dino Golzine. All around awful person, and not safe around children (or anyone, really.) He’s low-key in this scene, mostly using verbal assaults (to great effect) but just you wait. There’s a reason he’s a mob boss.

Ash snarks, to great effect, but he’s no match. Dino has all the cards and all the dice (cards & dice being metaphors for power, & how he involves awful, painful memories of Ash’s past & tries to manipulate & order him around. Brrr.)

But Ash rallies, and ultimately refuses returning to be Dino’s heir / toy.

We meet Shorter! Huzzah!

(End of recap.)

It’s clear right away Shorter & Ash are old friends. They exchange quips about Marvin. We learn Marvin holds a mean grudge, so savvy readers can guess it’ll come to play later (it does.)

Shorter’s last line is strange.

“Just don’t put me in the position of having to kill you.”

Which is kinda out of the blue. I don’t know what to make of it. It doesn’t spoil or fore-shadow anything (unless in a very confused, round-about way) because that never happens later. So I’m confused.

Ash laughs it off and goes zooming off on his motor-bike / motorcycle (not sure which).

Note, from this short scene we already learn Shorter has his own sources of information - he knows Ash went to Dino’s, fast enough to be there before their conversation ended (unless he was just lucky to be there already  - why was he there?). He already knows about Ash’s talk with Marvin, with enough detail to warn Ash about Marvin’s temper & that Marvin likes him, which is a bad combination.

Shorter is smart & cares about his friends, warning Ash about Marvin. 

Aren’t friends great?

Especially after meeting such a dominating if soft spoken monster like Dino?

The answer is yes.

Next, we get this hilariously great shot of Ash running up the steps to his dingy apartment (pg. 47.)

 It’s reminiscent for me of a scene in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Part 1, when Jonathan & Dino have their epic fight in the Joestar mansion.

There’s a part where Jonathan does this epic flip up to a second floor via sword (it’s epic) & it ends with this a few-seconds-longer-than it-needs-to-be shot of his butt. You can’t miss it. I’m usually oblivious to such things & I noticed it. I laugh every single time.

Anyway, back to Banana Fish.

(The atmosphere of grunginess (it’s not a word, I meant dirty, ugly, rough) & spartan furniture is great. Just look at those walls. I adore it. 

(But would never want to live there.) Ash is clearly not rich & after Dino’s rich mansion, this is a stark contrast.

Also, there are no pictures or posters on the walls (which are festooned with dirt and cracks instead.) In fact, there’s almost nothing in terms of personal effects at all.

This baffles me. I mean yes, I assume they’re all dirt poor, living in a gang & working for the mafia on the side isn’t something you do for the luxuries. But surely they’d have something.

Or maybe it has something to do with Japanese decorating aesthetics? Meaning, Japanese appear to be more spartan than Americans in terms of decor (see the book, In Praise of Shadows, for example.) 

* I can’t spell aesthetics. Why do I even use that word?

The apartment just looks extremely bare compared to others I’ve seen in movies depicting this era. Is what I’m saying.

Look at those bare walls. (It hurts me.)

Thoughts? Comments on how Japanese, Americans, and Europeans differ in basic decorating styles? Comment below!

Also remember as always, Banana Fish is both set & was written in the 1980’s, well before the “modern” style we have now.

Unless - wait. There is something very important to Ash which he’s clearly hiding in the apartment he goes to, which I assume only Skip & select members know about.

So maybe this isn’t actually Ash’s main base, where he sleeps & hangs out?

Yes, that must be it.

If you’re confused, I’ll explain once we get done with this section.

Moving on.

We meet Skip!!!! (Pg.47)

Black characters (and Latino) are still, alas, extremely rare in manga, anime, & other media, so all the cheers for including Skip so early & as such an important character.

Because Skip is very important. For multiple reasons. More on that later. Also note, 1 of the gang members Ash busts earlier is also black.

Again, the dialogue is great here between Ash & Skip, establishing Ash’s trust in him. Which is no small thing.

Skip is like Shorter, (agh, both their names start with S) sweet, but also has a nose for news.

Arthur’s going to get it, hah!

There’s yet another reference to it being early.

Though there’s no specific time mentioned . . . Nope, not since Ash found the poor, dying banana fish dude.

Does Ash usually sleep in? Is he a night owl? He was wandering around at 1 in the morning last night, after all.

*Yes, technically it was early morning, but it was still dark, so bite me.

But then, he was also suspicious & keeping tabs on his 2 gang members. So, who knows.

But I’m going to guess he’s a night owl.

Ash sits on the bed, and after Skip mentions everything is good, “him, too”.

 Ash gives his 1st real, genuine smile. Gentle, relieved, no hard edges. Just pure happiness & relief. It’s sweet.

(Also, I just realized the “him, too” is supposed to be a surprise / shock for the reader & I spoiled it earlier. I do apologize.)

Skip offers to get coffee but Ash declines, deciding to nap, which reminds me:

Actually, drinking coffee before you take a nap can, for some people, actually make you sleep better.

Also, short cat naps (15-30mins) can boost your energy and mood.

Naps are good for you!

I almost wondered if the comics Skip had on the table might’ve been manga, but remembered it was the 1980’s and, far as I know, manga wasn’t big the U.S. yet. Alas!

Which is funny if you think about this being in a manga.

Skip goes to leave. Ash puts his hand in his pocket and gets this intense, almost fierce expression on his face (middle panel, pg. 48).

I was absolutely baffled by this reaction for a long time, but finally figured it out. Ash’s reaction is supposed to be baffling, because what he realizes right here will be revealed in the next few pages.

Skip, concerned, asks what’s up, but Ash brushes him off and sends him off to buy coffee. (After which I sincerely hope he takes a nap, because he needs one, he’s been up all night.) Sleep is good for you!

Skip is able to buy coffee with a single coin. A single coin.

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

All my tears, and curses on inflation and overpriced coffee! And Starbucks!

Anyway, we learn Arthur’s going to get it (and Skip is the best spy ever) and the scene cuts to:

Our favorite person (not) Dino Golzine, tending his orchids.

I like this. It’s a rather unique hobby for a villian. I assume to give him a refined, elegant, and exact air.

He’s interrupted by Angie & his fabulous mustache (snickers) and this delightfully comic scientist person (who might be important later? The face sameness makes it difficult to judge, & I’m too lazy to consult my other volumes, which are not close by.)

But his entrance is priceless (pg. 50). I mean seriously, please go find it if you haven’t already. It’s dramatic, with a big WHAM! & he looks so cartoonish. 

I love it.

Dino tells him, essentially, “don’t disturb my orchids” and me being an non-gardner person, I wonder: is it actually true loud noises can disturb flowers?

Comment below!

Anyway, Dino quickly establishes yes, he did send Ash’s gang members to kill the poor banana fish guy who started this whole mystery, and yes, it was important.

There’s a great panel (pg. 51) of scientist dude, drawn much less comedic, the whole panel black except for a white aura around him sweating and clearly in distress.

He whispers, “It - it’s gone.”

Dino snaps to attention with a leonine look, exactly like a cat who has just spotted another cat. It’s easily my favorite picture of Dino so far, very striking.

The dialogue is brilliant and snappy, short and direct.

“What is gone? . . . You’re positive? . . . Just a small amount.”

And we get the grand reveal:

Ash, taking out a bullet shaped capsule (was the shape intentional by Yoshida?). A capsule he’d clearly taken from the dying banana fish guy. There’s a great panel on the bottom of pg. 52 of Ash’s questioning expression and a ?

He unscrews the capsule and pulls out a tiny vial.

Thinks of the address the dying banana fish guy gave him.

Ash goes into the next room, where we see the silhouette of someone sitting with a plaid blanket draped across their knees.

He expresses his first real look of vulnerability, and gives a wonderful line:

“Go see . . . Banana fish . . . He said it and died. And you say it and you might as well be dead. Who did this to you? Griff . . . Please tell me, big brother.”

Everything clicks together (almost.)

Griff /Griffin is the soldier shown way back in the very beginning. The one who left for a few minutes and came back insane and shot up his squad.

Who’s now a human vegetable.

Banana fish is clearly responsible. Somehow.

And Dino is mixed in with it (of course). Pieces are coming together, but questions still remain.

Until next time!

[sunsetinmyvein]

I Know That I’ll Lose - Chapter Eight - I’m So Fixated

The boys never bothered to tell her about how moody Matty had been while she was away, because as soon as she had returned, he was back to his normal self anyway. It literally took the space of the taxi ride from the airport back to the venue before he started feeling the relief of her presence washing over him. He was back on his game for the show that they had that night, and everyone was able to see it from those on stage to those in the crowd. That usual magnetism of his had returned. Due to the typical chaos of the show and then having to get everyone back into the bus and on the road to the next one, Y/N/N and Matty didn’t really get to properly hang out with one another until they were finally at the next venue. Whenever the others in their group were around, everyone just wanted to find out if everything had been okay when she got back home.  So, Matty figured that he could wait. He still had plenty of time across their remaining two weeks of the tour, and maybe it was best to give her some space after a long-haul flight and dealing with a house break-in. However, he was happy to discover that once they had the chance, she was as eager to spend time with him as he was her. The next day saw the two of them hanging around the stage waiting for the other guys to arrive for soundcheck.

“Teach me the Tootime dance.” She said to Matty from her spot sitting on top of the barrier.

“What?” He asked with a frown, looking up from tuning his guitar.

“You know, that dance that you do in Tootime with Taitlyn and Kaylee near the end of the song.” She elaborated.

“What?” He asked again, this time laughter seeping into his incredulous tone. “Why would you want to learn that? That thing is only four steps.” He pointed out.

“And?”

He paused, thinking a moment before replying, “Why don’t I teach you the It’s Not Living stuff instead?” He offered.

“That’s just running on the spot.” She argued.

“No, it’s not. There’s more to it than that.” He said, trying to defend himself.

“I don’t wanna run on the spot while holding a guitar. That sounds like hard work.” She frowned, glancing at the guitar hanging from his shoulders.

“You’re the one who keeps complaining that working for Rome isn’t enough work.” He shot back. She just stuck her tongue out at him in response. “Fine, I’ll teach you the Tootime dance. C’mere.” He said, motioning for her to join him up on the stage.

  “Hann,” Ross called out from where he was standing near the lighting booth at the back of the venue, catching the guitarists attention who had been busily trying to set up the light timings for the newest addition to their setlist. He gestured for him to come over to where he was standing before directing his attention down to the two of them dorking around on the stage. “What’s the bet: how long before Matt notices that he is the one that’s into her?” He asked. Adam hummed thoughtfully, trying to come up with an accurate guess at how much longer their friend would remain clueless. “I bet you a tenner that he’ll work it out before the end of this tour.” He added.

The guitarist laughed loudly. “Really?? I think it’ll be at least another month.” He countered.

“Wanna put your money where your mouth is?” He offered again, holding his hand out for Adam to agree to the terms.

The two of them felt a hand clap down on each of their shoulders before they could seal the deal, looking over to see George standing behind them. “You’re both wrong.” He said, shaking his head. “He’s not gonna work it out until someone tells him.” He continued.

“You really have that little faith in him?” Ross asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I bet you both a fifty.” George challenged, holding his hand out. The two of them shared a look, before nodding and shaking George’s hand. It seemed pretty unlikely that someone as smart as Matty would be dense enough not to see it. “You guys saw him last week when she was gone; you both know how one track minded he can get. He’s way too caught up in his own shit to notice.” The drummer explained with a self-satisfied grin that he’s just made an easy hundred.

  Matty’s three bandmates decided to give him his space throughout the day after seeing how much he was relishing in finally having her company back. And it proved to be a beneficial decision, as his good mood was contagious to anyone in close proximity to him. When everyone on The 1975 crew was in a good mood, the entire process of the show was seamless. Setup and pack-down occurred in record time without Matty moping around the stage, and they were on the way to the next stop on the tour well before schedule. After winding down from their show, George was promptly reminded by a group text from Jamie that their latest single from Notes was dropping that night at midnight. Which he realised was only about fifteen minutes away. He rallied his friends around the small dining room on the bus to wait for the time to tick by. The anxiety in the air was palpable as the moment got closer and closer. Matty drummed his fingers on the table, staring out of the window at the passing road. First impressions were important to him with things like this - something that he had put so much effort and care into. As much as this was technically their third release off of Notes, it was still the first impression of this particular song that he was about to hear. This track also felt quite personal. To be fair, all of his tracks were - his lyrics were always directly referencing his life and desires. But this one dealt with a lot of his insecurities about, well, being insecure. Being sincere in life was hard, but doing it in song was much easier for him. Dealing with people hearing it in song? That was terrifying. What were people going to think? Were they going to respond positively? Were-

  The singer let out a deep sigh, trying to push the nerves to the back of his mind. “Are you guys ready for the reactions?” Matty asked as he tapped away at his phone. Y/N/N looked around the bus in mild confusion as she stepped into the kitchen, feeling like she was intruding on a band meeting or something.

“They’ll be good, I’m sure. We all agreed that it was a tune.” Ross said with a firm nod, Adam making a few noises of agreement from the other side of the table. The mood in the room was very tense, but trying to piece together what was happening from the limited information that they were offering was proving difficult.

George pretty quickly sensed her curiosity, “We’re releasing a new song tonight off of Notes.” He explained.

 “Which one?” She asked.

“It’s the song that you heard me working on the other week.” Matty answered, turning his phone to show her the post he was about to publish. Ah. That made sense.

“Oh, I quite liked that one.” She nodded, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. “It’ll definitely be a positive response.”

  As much as he felt like he didn’t need the validation - that he had enough faith in the band’s skill by this point in time - he couldn’t deny that hearing her reassurance put him a step closer to being calm nonetheless. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she leant against the wall next to him, glancing over his shoulder as he shared the song to The 1975’s social media accounts. The comments started rolling in as soon as the post was up – every time they refreshed the page there were another set to go through. The band ended up using each of their own phones to keep up with the torrent of reactions, making mention of the notable ones as they saw them. Overall, it was a positive response for the majority. There were the odd comments about how different the track was, that it was so unlike their other songs and jarring as a result, but that was to be expected. Matty didn’t want to be releasing things this far into his career that sounded like what he’d done in the past. If you weren’t making progress and experimenting with new things, you were just stagnating. What was the point in that? And if they didn’t like this, then they definitely weren’t going to like the album. They were delighted to see a few texts roll in from friends and family remarking on their thoughts of the track. Those were the opinions that they valued most. The five of them crowded around the table continued chatting about the reviews that were still rolling in as they felt the bus roll to a stop. It was the middle of the night; they hadn’t expected to be stopping at this hour. Upon a quick glance out the window, Adam could see petrol bowsers. The bus driver shouted over his shoulder something about refuelling that made the pieces click into place.

  “Well, since we’re stopping, I’ll be back in a minute.” Matty said as he pulled a cigarette out of its packet and stood up. As much as he was normally fine with smoking on the bus, he liked to take the opportunity to do so outside when it was presented; even if just for the sake of those around him who didn’t smoke trapped in that space with him. Also, after how high strung he had been about dropping the new track, he really needed the relief. He was about halfway to the door when he heard someone speak up behind him.

“I might step out too.” Y/N/N added, pushing herself away from the wall.

“You don’t smoke.” He pointed out with a curious eyebrow raised.

“I’m allowed to get some fresh air.” She shot back as she breezed past him and outside of the bus.

“You could just open a window, you know.” He shrugged in response, but followed after her regardless; not wanting to decline good company.

  The night air had quite a bit of bite to it as the two of them stepped outside. She wrapped her arms around herself to deal with the sudden drop in temperature as she watched him lean against the side of the bus next to her and light up his cigarette. Taking a deep drag, he looked around the petrol station. It was always strange seeing what should be a busy establishment at any normal hour deserted at a time like this. The feeling reminded him of stepping into an alternate reality. Things seemed to exist differently in the early hours of the morning. Before he had the chance to make an offhand comment about this, he noticed that her gaze was fixed on the smoke he had just exhaled above them. He hadn’t realised before that she seemed to watch him every time he was smoking. Thinking back on it, despite that she herself didn’t smoke, she never made a point to leave the room when he did like most people had in his experience. Previously he’d been too focused on the fact that she constantly declined his offers to smoke weed with him to really notice. But he was suddenly very aware of the way that she watched his hands as he held the cigarette. She could be standing out here on her phone, or taking in their surroundings, watching the stars, something. But instead, she absentmindedly held her gaze on him as he released the smoke from his lungs. Interesting. He didn’t have the time to think of an eloquent way to bring that up before the driver was making his way back into the bus and ushering them inside to set off on the road again. That information would have to be tucked away for future reference.

  After an evening of being trapped in the bus with the two of them attached at the hip and swapping knowing looks all night, Adam was starting to lose his mind. It wasn’t unusual behaviour for them, but it only seemed to have gotten worse since she got back. Something had to happen either way in this situation. Whether they finally shacked up or she finally properly shut him down or god forbid Matty did turn around and fuck it all up, something had to be done. If he had to endure much more of this, he was going to go insane. He knew that ideally for the sake of his friends, he wanted things to end well, but the little voice in the back of his brain reminded him that Matty liked to go through… phases, with things. He would become obsessed with something and then drop it for the next greatest thing a few weeks later. To her credit, it had been a good few months now and he still seemed hell bent on her. But he didn’t really want to see Matty win this bet and then lose all interest once his goal was achieved. By his own confession, it was just a bet. Nothing more. And he seemed to be getting closer to that by the day. Adam had noticed the way that she watched him more than usual, how she seemed to turn him down less and less. It was inevitable at this point. George had mentioned that he’d had the odd chat with the both of them before, but Adam felt like he had to make things abundantly clear. He’d known Matty for long enough now to know that he had a bad habit of messing up good things. Despite that he was a very blunt person who was typically very clear with his intent, things often looked different through rose coloured glasses.

  So, when they’d reached the next venue, he’d suggested that himself and Y/N/N go for a walk to grab a coffee and have a chat before their day begun. Thankfully, neither her nor Matty seemed to bring up any issues with this when he offered it. Which saved him having from having to awkwardly explain his motivations in front of who he wanted to talk about. As she stepped out of the bus door onto the pavement, Adam took a quick glance behind her.

“Where’s Matt?” He asked with a frown, having expected her shadow to at least attempt to follow her out here.

“He’s been holed up in the back lounge trying to sort out some song for the last while.” She answered as they started walking.

Adam nodded in understanding. “Sounds like him to fixate on that…” He thought for a moment, before taking the easy segue that was offered to him. “That boy is typically fleetingly obsessive with things. He’ll turn up one day with a video camera and projector, ‘Look, I’m making a film.’ Yeah, all right, mate.” He scoffed with a laugh. “Two weeks later, he’s lost the charger and he’s forgotten about what he wanted to record.” He added, the both of them laughing at how typical that was of the mile a minute mind that was Matthew Healy. “That’s what makes him great when he focuses though, he is endlessly passionate.” He explained, trying to loop back around to his original point.

  “But that’s, uh… actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Adam added sheepishly.

“Oh?”

“Because currently what he’s stuck on, is you.” He admitted.

“Oh.”

“He’s very hung up on this bet thing, and I just wanted to make sure that you’re not thinking that it’s…” He waved his hands dismissively as he tried to find the right words, “something else.” He was struggling to find a way to make this sound nice. But at the end of the day, this conversation wasn’t nice. He was throwing his friend under the bus and potentially hurting another.

“No, I know.” She said with a nod. “I know that it’s just a weird thing he has going with himself. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t know what he wants.” Her greater sense of reasoning knew that what she had said was true, but saying it out loud made it hit differently. Hearing the words come from her own mouth after spending the last five weeks on tour with Matty stung a little bit more than she’d care to admit. The issue was, she was already in too deep. The damage was done and a naïve part of her still held out hope that maybe he was going to change his mind. That wasn’t going to change unless her feelings for him magically dissipated. But him not being clear on what he wanted was the entire reason that she hadn’t admitted anything – she had to remember that.

  Adam sensed the sudden dampened atmosphere between them, trying his best to change the topic and lighten the mood now that he had said his piece. But she’d already dragged herself back to reality and been slapped in the face with the harsh reminder that she was probably going to get burned by the Matty sized hole she’d dug herself as soon as the tour ended. She couldn’t really change any of it now. The best she could do was just try and not let herself get too much more invested, and the stubborn part of her definitely didn’t want to let him win that dumb bet. So, it was business as usual. Keep lying about it and hope for the best. She opted to skip soundcheck that day, instead deciding to hang out on the bus and get some space to herself. The only issue was that it proved difficult to relax in such a small area when it was littered with everyone’s stuff. Her eventual boredom inspired her to want to clean up this mess, which wasn’t exactly an easy feat for how their gang left it sometimes. But it needed to be done and it kept her mind occupied.

  However, her attempt at some alone time ended almost as soon as it felt like it had begun. George had been the first to get back to the bus after soundcheck, only an hour after having left. He threw a quick ‘hello’ and ‘thanks for tidying up’ over his shoulder as he made his way through to the back lounge. Experience had taught her that his best friend probably wouldn’t be far behind, and she was right – because her absence hadn’t gone unnoticed by Matty. Once he’d realised that she wasn’t around, and his band nor Rome had any idea where she was, he went looking for her at the soonest opportunity. The bus door opened again, and she was unsurprised to hear steady footsteps approaching her as she stood at their small kitchen sink, attempting to scrub the grime build up off of a plate that had been sitting on the counter for a few days now. She knew full well who it was before he said anything, but she didn’t anticipate his next moves. His hand came to rest on the small of her back as his head all but rested on her shoulder. Matty watched in amusement as her movements tensed and she abruptly stopped washing the dishes that she was in the middle of.

  “I didn’t see you at soundcheck,” He said in a low voice, intentionally letting his breath fan across the side of her neck, “just thought I’d check in.” The gears in her mind simply stopped turning as her heartbeat hammered in her ears. It seemed like the gears might have just fallen straight out of place and were now tumbling steadily down to the pit of nerves that had formed in her stomach. The feeling of him being so close sent a shiver down her spine as her skin prickled under his breath. For how close his breath felt, his lips must’ve been within a few centimetres of the side of her neck. This was a targeted attack. She didn’t know how he knew, but it was abundantly clear that he knew exactly what he was doing. The self-satisfied smile was evident in his tone and gave away his intentions. This was a whole different game to what they had been playing thus far. Matty in the past had been all bark and no bite, which was easy enough to shrug off. It was one thing for him to look attractive, or to throw a flirty remark out there, but this? This would prove majorly difficult to not cave in to if he started hitting buttons as sensitive as this.

  Her knuckles were turning white from how hard she was gripping the counter in front of her to force herself not to react to him. She let out a jagged sigh when he finally moved back a bit and she could regain control of her thoughts. “How do you even know about that?” She asked, trying her best to keep her voice steady.

“Know about what?” He asked innocently.

She turned around to face him and he couldn’t help but grin at the bright red painting her cheeks. “You fucking know what.” She glared.

“If you’d just admit that you were into it-”

“Being into it doesn’t mean I’m into you.” She interrupted.

“The two do correlate.” He reasoned, still far too happy with himself that he worked this out.

“Correlation does not equal causation.” She shot back, falling back onto her university teachings to try and get him to shut up.

He leaned in slightly, holding her gaze. “Even in your case?” He asked lowly. She didn’t reply, instead choosing to brush past him and head towards the back lounge. Matty let out a quiet laugh of satisfaction, figuring that he should get himself off of the bus before something was thrown at him.

“Matthew!” George’s voice shouted from the back of the bus, catching his attention before he shut the door behind him. “Give the girl a fuckin’ break, would ya?”

  Y/N/N had stormed her way into the back lounge, and upon seeing how flustered she was George felt obligated to ask what was wrong. But he should’ve known that it would be Matty’s doing. It was naïve to think that he might let up on this stupid bet of his. George was pretty surprised that she hadn’t already left. She was clearly frustrated at how annoying he was being, though apparently not mad enough to actually leave. But he was also fairly sure he knew exactly why she hadn’t left yet. “You are into him, yeah?” The drummer eventually asked without looking away from the game that he was playing. She looked up at him from the other side of the couch, trying to form an answer but her brain still reeling slightly.

“No.” She lied instinctually. “Yes.” She corrected, before suddenly doubting that answer as well. “Maybe, kind of. How do you know?” She asked as she frowned across at him.

George just stared at her sarcastically. “You flew all the way out here just to hang out with him for a few weeks.” He pointed out.

“And the rest of you!” She said, trying to defend herself at least a bit. But she was pretty confident that he was right.

“I’m not daft,” He laughed loudly, “and neither’s he. Why won’t you tell him?” He asked, turning his attention back to the game.

“His ego is big enough as it is.” She answered. “And…” She was reminded of her conversation earlier with Adam, “if I tell him then I need to deal with the aftermath of that. He’s already said he doesn’t know what he wants, so why would I put myself out there with nothing in return?” She admitted quietly.

“Fair enough.” He nodded. There was a pause in the conversation before George decided to state the obvious, just in case it wasn’t already common knowledge: “He already knows that you are.”

“Then why is he pushing so hard to hear it?” She huffed in annoyance.

“He wants you to say it for the same reason you won’t tell him; ‘cause he’s an arrogant wanker.”

Last Chapter

Next Chapter

[navek15]

So in-between writing fanfiction, working on my novel, work, the upcoming online semester, keeping the house clean, and getting my ass repeating handed to me in Dark Souls: Remastered and Dark Souls III, my increasing disdain for how terrible, unimaginative, and terribly imaginative some ‘fans’ of particular properties can be. And it’s not just from one particular instance, it’s from several occurrences over the years.

Yesterday, I was watching Maj0r Lee’s video reaction to terrible reviews of Final Fantasy 7: Remake. Side note, I’ve respected ML for not being afraid to speak his mind, no matter how much it goes against the nerd fan hivemind. And one thing that quickly got on his and my nerves about the reviews was how repetitive they were.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR-1NTCwLr8

“Tetsuya Nomura pulled a Kingdom Hearts and ruined the great story of the original FF7.”

“Nomura and friends turned FF7 into Kingdom Hearts-tier garbage.”

“I was going to give FF7: Remake a ten out of ten until that terribly ending turned it into a zero.”

Tetsuya Nomura this, Kingdom Hearts that, something something the original story was basically the bible. The same points repeated over and over again. It’s like listening to all the same complaints about the Last Jedi. I’d probably take those complaints seriously if it didn’t feel like the same arguments were being copy-pasted over and over because that generates more clicks on YouTube.

If I sound a bit salty, it might be because my favorite video game franchise (BTW, I would never say KH is flawless) is being used as a go-to example of bad writing. This must be how the Call of Duty fans feel all the time.

But there was one particular ‘review’ that pissed me off to no end;

“The more and more I think about it, I feel like Nomura and co. have little to no respect for the fans that have given their work this love, and perhaps even harbour some contempt for them wanting to to see their childhood imagination and memories of the story realised as they deserve to be.

There is a certain arrogance to twisting this world and story to their own whim, as if to say that “this is our world, our characters, what you fans think means nothing to us, we can do what we want with them and you can get fucked if you disagree”.”

You know what this reminds me of? Those laughable Anti-Horikoshi blogs that use the trans flag as their background to supposedly ‘protect’ the female characters of My Hero Academia from their ‘disgusting’ creator. Those lunatics that posted themselves burning their copies of Tokyo Ghoul because the main character banged his female love interest and called Ishida a homophobe. Or the the worst episode of South Park where Trey Parker and Matt Stone showed their disapproval of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull by having Indy getting horrifically sodomized by George Lucas and Steven Spielburg.

This might be hard for some idiots to understand, so let me spell it out for you; YOU DO NOT OWN A STORY OR CHARACTERS JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A “FAN”!

In the end, writers have their own ideas for how storylines, character progression, and character relationships will turn out. If all creators ever did was pander to the fickle desires of the most rabid ‘fans’, all media would be nothing but self-referential bullshit. Hell, we already example how bad this would be. It’s called ‘How the Last Jedi should’ve ended!’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCB8DUGpYQQ

While this video was clearly made to take the piss out of TLJ, it ironically demonstrates my fucking point! This is also why I am 100% certain that we’re never getting a Dark Souls/Bloodborne movie or tv show. Because any interpretation or story that dares to go against the most poorly thought out fan theories will get ripped apart by absolute lunatics with nothing better to do with their time.

And another thing, can we stop treating stories like they’re fucking scripture?! There’s a reason that the ‘Stations of the Canon’ trope is derided by many authors. I can probably name all the Naruto fanfics that aren’t just the same as the original story just with slightly altered dialogue and everyone wearing slightly-different clothing. And I was guilty of this too, until I realized how much more fun it was to go completely off the rails.

Not the mention that this kind of thinking leads to people holding stories to such a ridiculous degree that any sequel or retelling that fails to live up to those unreasonable expectations will get treated like a personal attack and a dumpster fire not even worthy to roast expired marshmallows over.

I’m not saying you should never criticize a story, game or comic for its actual flaws, but don’t try to make it into a sob story like ‘How dare the creator or owners of this story like go about it what they think is the best! These guys are worse than HITLER!’ Hate to break to ya, but no ones goes into a story or long-running franchise to purposely piss off the fans. They’re doing it because they got a story to tell...or to make money. Or both.

And try to come up with your own critiques instead of just copy and pasting the same arguments over and over again.

“Fairy Tail is terrible because all the girls have big tits and skimpy outfits.”

“I’ve heard all that before. Do you have any other complaints?”

“No, but that’s what everyone else is whining about.”

“Well then, piss off and come back when you actually form your own goddamn opinion.”

And I’m not saying that if your problem if a story is the same as someone else’s, then it's invalid. But at least try to say it in a way that doesn’t come across as just copying what the guy before ya said.

One last ramble before I go back to writing and getting attacked by video game monsters; can we stop with all the hyperbole? There are only so many times I can hear the phrase, “This is the worst thing ever” before it loses all meaning. Yes, I’m sure the newest Call of Duty game is worse than Santa Claus Saves the World. That the newest Star Wars movie is worse than A Serbian Film. Or that Black Clover is worse than Eiken.

And that argument is especially soured when the phrase ‘raped my childhood’ eventually rears its ugly head. It was outdated and terribly tasteless when Doug Walker reviewed Batman and Robin, and it’s gotten more disgusting and childish as a phrase over time.

Anyway, that’s my delusional rambling done for the day. Hope you all are safe and comfortable. Have a nice day!

[dimensionsunited]

AUGUST 2020 DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULES & REVIEW

Members may earn 3 points each (up to 6 points) for writing, by the end of September 7 KST:

A solo para of 400+ words based on their monthly schedule (does not count toward your monthly total).

A thread of six posts (three per participant, including the starter) based on their monthly schedule.

Threads do not have to take place directly during an important date listed on the schedule, but must be related to what the muse is mentioned to be doing in the paragraph explaining their schedule/the company’s schedule for the month and/or their thoughts on the mentioned activities or lack thereof.

These schedules may be updated throughout the month if new information needs to be added.

Reminder: July schedule posts are due by the end of August 7 KST. Please do not post schedule posts in the fmdschedule tag.

OVERALL COMPANY

Last month’s photo sessions for the base Culture Complex were a success and it seems like the project is off to a solid start, although some idols may be called back in for reshoots, especially for the 3D imaging, as necessary this month. All of the idols under BC, Dimensions, and Gold Star have been tasked with a new duty for the building this month: filming videos that will accompany some of the museum exhibits. The videos will be once again filmed in a studio, this time in front of a green screen, and the idols will be asked to talk about their feelings about important career events like their trainee days, debut, song releases, and major achievements. They will be given all of the subjects they are expected to talk about beforehand to rehearse their answers, and the director may request different wording or delivery of their answers as seen fit. (admin note: Muns have freedom about the specific topics muses are asked to talk about here within the guidelines given above, but any talk about scandalous or negative occurrences will be avoided.)

Important dates:

August 1-August 31: base Culture Complex museum intro videos filming (admin note: muses may encounter idols from other companies while there).

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 1

Her comeback single is recorded, so it’s time for her to get the choreography down and optimize her performance for the catchy dance performance and charisma she’s so known for. She also has her second fittings ahead of teaser shoots and music video filming next month to decide on the final comeback wardrobe, and at the end of the month, she’ll be joining the company’s other two soloists in Los Angeles for a weekend for KCON.

Important dates:

August 23: Second MV and stage outfit fittings.

August 29: Performance at KCON LA (also performing: Dimensions Soloist 2, Dimensions Soloist 3, 7ROPHY, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 2

He holds two solo concert dates in Seoul this month, where he’ll include “When You Call My Name” in his set list to give his fans a preview of his next release (and so that Dimensions can monitor fan reactions and decide how much promotion budget to give the song). The following weekend, he’s off to Los Angeles with the rest of Dimensions’ soloist roster for another KCON, this time on the west coast of the US. 

Important dates:

August 22: Zero concert at Yonsei University Main Auditorium in Seoul.

August 23: Zero concert at Yonsei University Main Auditorium in Seoul.

August 29: Performance at KCON LA (also performing: Dimensions Soloist 1, Dimensions Soloist 3, 7ROPHY, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 3

She continues to rehearse for her upcoming solo concerts this month, and will continue to be filmed throughout them for her reality show. The domestic market is by far Dimensions’ focus for her now since she’s shown such potential success in it, but they’ve decided to send their full soloist roster to KCON LA this month, which means she’s giving her first solo performance overseas this month, too.

Important dates:

August 29: Performance at KCON LA (also performing: Dimensions Soloist 1, Dimensions Soloist 2, 7ROPHY, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

GAL.ACTIC

August brings their ninth anniversary since debut on the 28th, thought Dimensions hasn’t organized any event for the full group to celebrate for fans in lieu of hoping to raise anticipating for tenth anniversary activities next year. Members are still encouraged by management to put some extra thought into reaching out to fans this month, though. In the meantime, they continue preparing their comeback by learning and rehearsing the choreography for the title track and the choreography for b-side “Bad Man Crying”, and attending fittings as usual. From August 23 to 26, they’ll be in Los Angeles for a festival performance.

Important dates:

August 10: MV and stage outfit fitting.

August 25: Performance at Korea Times Music Festival at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, CA, USA (also performing: Decipher, Unity, and Fuse).

ALIEN

Alien continue music show promotions throughout the month, alongside a busy schedule of fan signs. The album does well, only improving on their past sales, and the song is received well by fans despite going mostly under the radar for the public as most of their releases have since the lawsuit. The end of promotions signal continued work on their first English album as they’ve been doing for the past year or so now, as they film the MV for ”Middle of the Night”, which they’ll have finished recording in the studio earlier in the month.

Important dates:

August 1: Fan sign in Gangnam, Seoul.

August 2: Fan sign in Yongsan, Seoul.

August 9: Fan sign in Mapo, Seoul.

August 10: Fan sign in Yeouido, Seoul

August 17: Fan sign in Gangnam, Seoul.

August 20: End of music show promotions.

August 21: “Middle of the Night” MV filming.

August 29: Performance at KCON LA (also performing: Knight, Alien, Lucid, and Gold Star Soloist 3).

MARS

Preparations for MARS’s Japanese comeback continue as they’re taught the choreography for “Can’t Say” in the early weeks of the month. The wardrobe is simple for the music video this time, so they won’t have full fittings before the filming day for the music video comes on the twentieth. Mid-month, MARS are also met with the news that they’ll be making a Korean comeback in the fourth quarter and they’ll record the album in the second half of the month with a return to form of what they’re most known for: a darker concept.

Important dates:

August 20: “Can’t Say” MV filming.

7ROPHY

7ROPHY are fully dedicated to focusing on filming Queendom this month. For the cover song task, they’ll be covering a song originally performed by the group the NPC Soloist competing on the show originally belonged to, so the stakes are high to prove what they’ve got, especially after coming off such a successful first round for them. Full details of Queendom filming for this month can be found here. From August 28 to August 30, they’ll be in Los Angeles to perform at KCON LA.

Important dates:

August 24: Queendom episode three & four filming (cover song stage).

August 27: Episode one of Queendom airs.

August 29: Performance at KCON LA (also performing: Dimensions Soloist 1, Dimensions Soloist 2, Dimensions Soloist 3, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

UNITY

It’s comeback season for Unity after a full year without a comeback and it seems the wait has paid off. The comeback earns them not only the best digital charting of their careers, but also A-tier boy group physical sales and a music show win. There’s no questioning that they’re now the best-selling boy group of the company physically, even if MARS still outdoes them in the public recognition that earns high digitals. Dimensions grows more eager than ever to see the heights Unity can reach as the month draws to a close, and the general attitude of staff around them reflects both the pressure and relief of a successful comeback.

Important dates:

August 7: “Kick It” MV reaction video filming.

August 7: Release of “Kick It” & Unity Zone album, music show promotions continue through September 7. 

August 8: Fan sign in Mapo, Seoul.

August 9: Fan sign in Gangnam, Seoul.

August 15: Fan sign in Seocho, Seoul.

August 23: Fan sign in Songpa, Seoul.

August 25: Performance at Korea Times Music Festival at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, CA, USA (also performing: Decipher, Gal.actic, and Fuse).

August 29: Fan sign in Gangnam, Seoul.

         ↳ CHAMPION

As Decipher finishes promoting their comeback and Unity makes their own comeback, a hold is put on touring, but BC and Dimensions have managed to land the members of the sub-unit a deal with Korean Air and they’ll be recording a special CF song for a music and safety video collaboration to bring more international attention to Korean Air following CHAMPION”s success overseas and to bring more domestic attention to CHAMPION, who are still not wholly accepted as a unit by fans of their main groups.

Important dates:

August 27: Korean Air x CHAMPION “Let’s Go Everywhere” MV and Safety Video filming.

LUCID

Lucid wraps up their Welcome to The Dream World tour on the second and then they fly back to Seoul to finish preparing for their comeback. They film their music video on the sixth, but in addition to comeback rehearsals, they also begin rehearsing for their LOL Showcase tour, which will tour Asia and focus on the “normal realm” side of their concept instead of the nightmare one they just toured for. This tour is far less performance-focused due to having a more fanmeeting-style set list with games, longer talk sections, and a hi-touch at the end of each show, so the rehearsal period is much shorter. Their comeback on the seventeeth proves they weren’t a one-hit wonder as Navillera soars to the top of the charts like “Rough” did and “You and I” failed to.

Important dates:

August 2: Welcome to The Dream World concert at Teatro La Huaca in Panama City, Panama.

August 6: “Navillera” MV filming.

August 17: Release of “Navillera” & LOL album, music show promotions continue through September 17.

August 23: LOL Asia Showcase tour at Yes24 Live Hall in Seoul.

August 30: Performance at KCON LA (also performing: BC Soloist 1, Knight, Alien, and Gold Star Soloist 3) 

[caelenath]

Sweet Child of Thine - chapter 4

First post of 2021! I’ve been away a little while. November was spent participating in the wonderful insanity that is NaNoWriMo (I won!) and December was spent catching up on everything I had neglected in order to win.

But now I’m back with a new chapter for my pre-canon PRSPD story. Cross-posted to AO3, FFN, and caelenath.com.

Length: 1664 Warnings: concerns child abduction Chapter summary: Mirloc finally learns what young Sky’s power is.

4. power

In addition to being fragile, human children were also voracious, absurdly so for their size. Before the sun had even reached its peak in the sky, the boy was complaining of hunger again. Mirloc had another full day and then some before he was due to deliver the boy to his acquaintance, so he decided he had best procure a more substantial supply of provisions if he wished to survive that time with his sanity intact.

Leaving the boy locked in the room once more, the mercenary went out and found a market the size of a modest skyport, in which there were entire sections dedicated solely to sustaining the young. He studied the endless aisles of foodstuffs and supplies for a few incredulous minutes before deciding it was nigh on a miracle that humans didn't die of exhaustion before their pitiful offspring reached maturity.

He selected an assortment of items based on the children pictured in the labels—all smiling brats with similar expressive round eyes—as well as a book of pictures to keep the boy occupied. When he was content, he had proved to be an industrious sort, carefully studying every inch of his quarters that he could reach before learning how to amuse himself by throwing the colorful object Mirloc had stolen in the park at the forcefield in the door and watching it bounce off helter-skelter.

This was indeed what the boy was doing when Mirloc returned to the house. After inhaling more food, the child took an interest in the picture book and it wasn't long before he'd left a sticky finger mark on every page. When he reached the end, he began again, leafing through more slowly. His little pinch grip was tight, leaving a new crease in the paper with each turn. at one point, silent tears began dribbling down his face and Mirloc decided to investigate.

The boy looked up in alarm at Mirloc's approach, but the mercenary ignored his wet eyes and looked down at the book in his hands instead. On the page was a dark shape, literally just a large brown square with shifty eyes and two short legs, unusual nonsense even for a child.

"Does this picture frighten you?" Mirloc asked.

The boy shook his head. "This is Daddy's book," he said, pointing at the brown square. Another tear rolled down and he scrubbed his arm across his face with a sniffle, but after a moment, his weeping began in earnest.

A distraction was in order, but Mirloc had no interest in reading about an anthropomorphic shape the color of loam. However, if human children were like other types of children he had known, then any yarn would do.

"Would you like to hear a different story?" he asked.

* * *

The day went from too long to too short in an instant.

After a fruitless afternoon in the search for Sky, a lead finally came through in the evening, albeit a tenuous one. The manager of a superstore on the east side of town had filed a theft report with the PD after noticing a most unusual thief while reviewing the day's security footage. Gene had in turn shared the report with SPD immediately when he noticed the kinds of items that had been taken—baby food, cereal, cookies, a picture book, and some children's clothing.

Jay reviewed the footage with Nate and Mori in the command center. It showed a distinctly non-human character wandering through several aisles of the store before he began plucking items off the shelves. Each one he selected seemed to disappear into thin air before he moved on to the next. The three Rangers exchanged puzzled looks.

"Maybe he has a picky kid at home?" Nate mused when the perp paused in the cereal aisle to look up and down the literal wall of choices.

"Or a few?" said Mori. "The target age for those supplies ranges from zero to four or five. The cereal's kind of a tossup. My guess though? He doesn't have a clue what he's doing."

They continued watching as the perp went on to pick up some nonfood items, then entered an unoccupied aisle in the home décor section and vanished.

"Hey!" Jay slapped the control to pause the video. "Where'd he go?"

They reversed the video and re-watched the segment several times before Mori had the sensible idea to slow the playback speed. It took several tries and adjustments, but finally they were able to see that the creature hadn't vanished into thin air after all, but into one of the decorative mirrors on display.

Jay was vaguely aware of his teammates watching his reaction, but all he could think of was the mirror in Sky's room at home. It was part of an old dresser that held Sky's clothes and spare blankets. If this creature, whatever he was, had in fact taken Sky, was that mirror the way he had gotten in and out of the house unseen and unheard? What exactly happened to the things he made disappear that way?

Elsewhere in the Delta Base, Kat was running a facial match against SPD's vast databanks. So far nothing had come up, but the perp's image had been shared with all PD and SPD units anyway. If nothing else, he could be picked up on shoplifting charges.

As Jay watched him in the video though, troubled by the purple skin and sinister eyes, he wasn't sure whether or not to hope this was the person who had his son after all.

* * *

The boy awoke crying in the middle of the night, frightened by bad dreams and refusing to go back to sleep. Perhaps the mercenary's earlier stories of nebular serpents and walking shadow monsters had not been the best choice.

Mirloc went to the washroom to wet a cloth and wiped the day's grime off the boy's face along with his tears. The cold dampness made him shiver, but the gesture seemed to soothe him nonetheless. Mirloc then squeezed the cloth hard to wring a single droplet of water into his palm. It lit up with a golden light that matched the glow of the mercenary's eyes.

Curiosity trumped fear as the child crawled out from the safety of the bedclothes towards Mirloc's hand. The light from the droplet reflected in his widened eyes like twin candles, making them look almost as yellow as Mirloc's own.

"Is it magic?" he asked.

Few places in the universe had a word for what Mirloc could do, and Earth was not one of them. He said no and braced himself for more questions, but they never came. Instead, the boy lifted his own hand and that mysterious blue energy he had demonstrated the day before flashed briefly around his small digits.

"I can too," he said.

Mirloc glanced at the shielding device around the boy's waist and wondered if this might be the time to solve that particular mystery. "Will you show me if I remove this?" He tapped the device with a finger.

The boy nodded.

Hoping he wouldn't regret his decision, Mirloc unfastened the device and laid it aside. The boy made a fist and this time the blue light rippled and pulsed uninhibited around his entire forearm. He moved it in a clumsy circle to create a translucent blue wall that hung in midair like nebulae out in space. His young eyes were narrowed in un-childlike concentration.

Mirloc cautiously stretched a hand towards the glowing wall and was astonished to feel neither heat nor the potent charge of electricity emanating from it. Then he remembered what the boy had said about the forcefield in the doorway.

The child was a living weapon.

The mercenary stopped just short of touching the blue energy—because that would have been foolhardy—and when he dropped his hand, so did the boy. The blue wall dissipated in an instant, gone like it had never been, and the child seemed unaffected by the effort.

"That is very good," Mirloc said. "You have a very special power."

"What yours?" the boy wanted to know.

"I can travel through reflective surfaces." From the child's blank stare, it was clear this explanation was beyond his comprehension, so Mirloc tried a different one. "Anywhere I can see my own face, no matter how small—" He gestured at the water droplet in his palm. "—I can use it to go anywhere I wish."

"Anywhere in the world?"

"Anywhere in the universe."

The boy's eyes widened. "How?" he demanded.

"How do you make your forcefields?"

"Science."

That was not an answer the mercenary had expected at all. "How do you know that?"

"Mommy says so."

Not his Ranger father, Mirloc noted.

"I want to go home," the child said, a whine creeping into his voice just as Mirloc was starting to find him tolerable, amusing even.

"Only if you behave," the mercenary reminded him. "If you like, I can tell you a story about my home."

The boy nodded eagerly, so Mirloc sifted through his memories for an appropriate one. Thus far, his life had involved far more stories of darkness than of light, but the latter were not forgotten even if it took him several moments to find his way back to them, back to the time before he began wandering the stars. Few knew—and most would not believe when they looked at him—that his life had begun in a place of light and of great beauty.

The memory he finally chose was older than this babe could ever fathom. It was of a place with three suns, shining walls, and heat so fierce, it scraped your insides to breathe it in. It was the last place Mirloc had known peace, and belonging, and the last time he had walked in light instead of dark.

As the mercenary recalled this fondest place, the child fell asleep and did not wake again until the sun had risen.

~

Chapter Notes

The picture book that Mirloc steals for Sky featuring “a large brown square with shifty eyes and two short legs” is a real book. It’s called Square.

[maddox026]

"Good day. My name is Michael and I'll be your attendant today. Here is our menu and I'll be back after five minutes to get your order ma'am. We'll be serving your water in a while."

"Got it. Thank you Michael."

"You're welcome ma'am and thank you too."

Your eyes started scanning the menu card handed over to you by the waiter. This is the new Italian restaurant the two women at the washroom were talking about a while ago. Not really intending to eavesdrop, you overheard their conversation when you dropped by for a bladder break before the movie started. Both seemed to be on their early 30's reminding you of your own set of girl friends. The taller one of the two was telling the other one about her experience on the restaurant in that building which just opened two weeks ago.

"Imagine how shocked I was after seeing them there. I haven't had my usual coffee dose yet but my heart was palpitating already. Good thing I was done eating by the time they arrived or else I wouldn't have probably finished my meal. Awkward." 

"How was it? Did you guys had a little chitchat or did you just nod at each other? Did his partner smiled at you???" The shorter woman asked curiously while lathering her hands with the cucumber scented soap.

"I think he saw my eyes widen but I manage to do a quick smile both to him and to his, girlfriend or wife maybe before I went out. Sis, don't get me wrong. I've moved on and all but I think there will always be that slight feeling of awkwardness whenever you ran to your long time ex-boyfriend." As if wanting to put extra emphasis on her last statement, the woman responded while rolling her eyeballs.

“Ex-fiancee, sis. Hahaha! How was the food? I hope it was worth the run-in encounter with your past flame somehow.”

“Well in fairness the food was great. I read a review about it on Metro Story’s Foodtrip column and my expectations were met. You should visit it with Andrew one of these days.”

“I see. I’ll tell him about it. Sis, I just realized. Your ex-pectations were met indeed.Hahaha!”

“Sira.Let’s go.” The two women eventually left the washroom. You checked your seat number in the movie stub for the last time and headed out as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly after five minutes, the waiter got back to your table to take your order. As he walks away you close your eyes and tried to absorb the classical music being played on the background. You tried to remember the grocery list you mentally did last night. Funny how just a while ago, you were watching the full movie version of a 90′s cartoon series you loved as a kid. Now here you are, back being an adult thinking about the household items you need to buy and whether you’ll be doing your laundry tonight or delay it tomorrow.

“So what are the chances?”

Startled at the voice which was coming from your back, you turned around and saw an old face with a goofy smile. What is it with this place making people cross paths with their past? Is this included in their specialty or something? Muling Ibalik with a side of Multo ng Nakaraan pasta?

“Oi.Hi!” Although still a little off guard, you were able to somehow respond with a small smile.

“I knew it was you the moment I saw your hair and your back. Kumusta?“

You wanted to say you were doing just okay right before he came in but you knew it would be best not to. Knowing him, that would make his goofy smile wider. “I’m good. Ikaw? What’s up?”

His lips moved as he answers your question but you can’t catch on to what he’s saying. You told yourself you’re going to bring up to your close friend who majored in Social Science how and who started the social norm to automatically ask the other person how they are doing as well after being asked “Kumusta?”

“...also, I’m not sure but did you watch Dragon Gang before coming here? I think you were seated a few rows in front of me.”

“Really? Yeah I was at Cinema 3 a while ago.” Okay. Maybe you should have just lied to cut this conversation already.

“Small world.Hahaha!”

Small world. Two words usually said to show surprise when an unexpected encounter or connection between people happens. Yet, the very same people who tells you this can also make the world seem vast, big and empty when their presence is no longer felt.

“Hi sir and ma’am. Sorry for the interruption but I would just like to check if you will be sharing this table together? If not, I’ll be happy to assist you to a vacant table sir.” Michael politely asked, perhaps noticing how the newly arrived guest was not yet seated somewhere.

“Oh wait. I’ll ask her first if we can share this spot. Maya, okay lang?”

If you say no, will the people nearby including the kind waiter judge you? Will they give you the wrong impression if you decline?

“Yeah sure. No big deal.” You swallowed the lump in your throat which started forming the moment you saw this guy who’s clad in denim jacket. Making a mental note, you remind yourself to control your voice and expression now that your conversation is obviously nowhere its ending yet.

“So did you liked the movie?” He asked while showing you the yellow movie stub he have as well.

Three years ago and you would have immediately given a lengthy reply to his question.  You would have talked about all the highs and lows of the film perhaps even enough to impress Mrs. Tagle, your favorite English teacher back in college.

College, where you two first met as classmates in one of your minor subjects. You went out together one time but things didn’t took a romantic turn after that as there were other incidents that occurred. 

Three years after your graduation, your paths met again unexpectedly while you were looking for this popular bookshop. The two of you went out for two or three dates but just liked before, things fizzled out afterwards. Back then the term, “ghosting” wasn’t as known as it is now but it’s kind of how it ended. Or how he, ended. It’s okay though as you both moved on afterwards.

The years after that, you stayed connected through social media although mostly just sending each other simple birthday greetings whenever one is celebrating.

Three years ago though, your simple greeting turned into more casual chats and there were times when you would talk about deep issues about life. Bucket lists, goals and aspirations, lessons on past relationships etc., these were some of the topics you used to talk about. Random conversations you started looking forward to especially during weekends and eventually became the source of your heart ache when they no longer started happening. A phase worthy enough to earn you a live performance of this new hip band who’s debut song is entitled, “You foolish girl.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yeah. I liked the movie. It was not disappointing.”

“Haha! I have to agree. It wasn’t disappointing indeed. Although there were just some scenes which I think were confusing for some fans who haven’t read the entire manga series.”

You stared at him just politely smiling, not really in the mood to be your usual chatty self. Slowly, people at the restaurant started coming in and you wished Michael would be back already with both of your food.

“They did not show in the movie what happened to Brutly’s parents and also how all of a sudden Gozu became well after that serious illness he had. Those were just my two cents though.Hahaha! They did however still managed to bring justice to Teriyene’s masterpiece.”

“Batang 90′s. Hehehe...” That was all the response you were able to think of at that moment. You weren’t really nervous being there with him and all but there’s a cloud of hesitation in your head and you wonder if he can feel it.

“Yeah...By the way, I’m sorry if you felt obliged to accept my table request in front of the waiter earlier. I guess I was just really happy seeing an old acquaintance after a long time.”

“What? It’s okay. Long time indeed.”

That’s it? That’s all this guy is saying sorry for, you asked yourself. What about those times in the past when -

“Here’s your food sir and ma’am.” Michael proceeded to enumerate the order he took a while ago and asked if there is anything else he can assist you with. You both shake your head as you said no and he left you two alone again afterwards.

“By the way, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I think most of the moviegoers were around their 30′s to 40′s.” 

“Really? I didn’t notice it. Based from the occasional cheer the audience were giving though, I think it’s safe to assume there were a lot of dads or titos who were watching.” Maybe you can make the conversation going but just avoid eye contact as much as possible?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know your eyes are very pretty. The color suits your complexion and your hair as well.” 

The 1st semester is about to end and he sent a text message after your class inviting you for a movie and dinner to unwind. Funny because for some reason your ex boyfriend and another male friend sent an invitation to hang out too that same day.

Maybe because you’ve been sharing a room together for more than three years already, your roommate Kris was able to read your bubble thoughts. 

“Maya? Go. Accept it.”

“Huh?”

“Go out with him. Not your ex and si other kuya. Your crushmate, I mean your “classmate”. I’ll wait for your post-date kwento.”

“But...I’m not really sure if...”

 “Why are you hesitating? Come on. Don’t you like him??”

“Hey! I admit he’s cute but - . Wait, why weren’t you this eager when I told you about the other two invites?”

“You know why? Because your facial reaction yesterday when you were telling me about it was your normal facial expression. But today, when you were reading his text message, your cheeks turned pink like this shirt I’m wearing.”

She’s right. You felt a thump in your heart after reading the text message. You’re hesitating though as you can’t get rid of the player vibes you’re sensing. The way he walks, the way he talks, his overall confident attitude gives off a feeling that he’s used to talking to or wooing girls that comes near him.

“They’re light brown, right?” Perhaps it’s because you were facing each 

[odanurr87]

2019: My year in K-Dramas - Part 1

I’ve been getting into kdramas for a few years now, but I usually only watch one or two at a time. This year I watched a lot more (and that’s not counting The Bride of Habaek, which I dropped when it became clear it was a very bad adaptation of the manhwa; Crash Landing on You, which started airing a couple of weeks ago; nor Tomorrow With You, which I haven’t yet finished, what’s probably not a good sign), a few being rewatchs of old shows that I like. Seeing as it’s unlikely I’ll ever write up full reviews for each like I did for Goblin (you can read my review here), I decided to compile this list to tell you what I liked and didn’t like about each, what I feel worked and what didn’t. I’m also including a qualitative metric (Rewatch meter) that tries to gauge how likely it is that I’ll find myself returning to the show in the future (Low, Medium, High). Naturally, your very own meter may differ from mine.

For future reference, these are the shows I watched in 2019 and that I aim to cover in this series of posts:

While You Were Sleeping (2017)

W (2016)

My Strange Hero (2018)

The Secret Life of my Secretary (2019)

Angel’s Last Mission: Love (2019)

Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon (2017)

When the Camellia Blooms (2019)

Bring it on, Ghost (2016)

One More Time (2016)

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho (2010)

My Love From The Star (2014)

Descendants of the Sun (2016)

Regardless of which show did better, overall, I find myself drifting more and more towards Korean dramas than your run-of-the-mill American TV show, save for a few bright exceptions, such as The Expanse. Heck, they’re better than most Hollywood movies nowadays.

Since I’ll probably end up writing a lot, I’ve decided to split this review list into two parts. Let’s start with the last kdrama I watched and work my way backwards... if I can remember, that is.

WARNING! There will be spoilers so read at your own risk.

While You Were Sleeping (2017)

Bae Suzy as Nam Hong-Joo, and Lee Jong-Suk as Jung Jae-Chan.

Release Date: September 27 - November 16, 2017

Episodes: 16

Available on: Viki

Summary: Nam Hong-Joo is a young journalist who has had bad dreams about the future since she was a kid, but she has never been able to change the outcome. Jung Jae-Chan is a rookie prosecutor who moves in across the street with his younger brother. When Jae-Chan has a prophetic dream of his own about Hong-Joo being involved in a car accident, and the tragic events that follow, he makes an impulsive decision to interfere, changing Hong-Joo’s fate and that of police officer Han Woo-Tak in the process. When the three of them start having dreams of one another, they realize their lives are somehow entwined. Together, they decide to use their knowledge of the future for good, but changing someone’s fate is never straightforward, and the consequences for doing so may be more than they can handle.

What I liked:

The concept and writing. This is the second show I’ve watched, in chronological order, with Lee Jong-Suk as a lead where I’m really attracted by the concept. Imagine if you could take the precogs from Minority Report and give them (relatively) normal lives inside a kdrama. This is the result. Even better, having Hong-Joo and Woo-Tak have different and often contradicting dreams about the future makes for an interesting twist, as we see prosecutor Jae-Chan struggling to navigate these prophetic waters in search for the best outcome. Curiously, the show makes a point early on about how Jae-Chan’s the variable upon which their dreams diverge, but nothing really comes off it. Naturally, the concept of multiple diverging futures gives the show’s cinematography a chance to play around a bit, often comparing the same event in alternative timelines, or in the same timeline but at different moments in time. It may sound complicated, but it’s pretty to grasp once you start watching. Furthermore, the writing’s pretty tight all around, what’s not a mean feat when you’re juggling multiple realities, with some very emotional payoffs as the show draws to a close. Perhaps its weakest point is exactly how this prophetic dream ability is transferred from person to person (a theory is put forward which doesn’t entirely convince me), and the unnerving (and unexplored, fortunately) implications should someone less honourable were to have these dreams.

When The Nightmares Started. This is the best track in the entire show and if it’s not the main theme, it damn well should be. It has moments of calm, a hint of romance and hope, and that awesome shit-is-about-to-get-real cue starting at 1:38 that never fails to make a scene tons more epic. Your dish-washing experience will be 100% more epic playing to this track, guaranteed!

The Justice League (and friends). This show could’ve probably gotten on my bad side real fast if it had created a villain with the same superpower as the heroes (depends on the execution to be honest) and, indeed, I thought that was the direction it would inevitably take, revealing at some point that (evil) defense attorney Lee Yoo-Beom also had prophetic dreams and had been using them for his benefit all along, muahahaha! Instead, the show gave us three average people, connected by their prophetic dreams, who decide to team up and use these visions for good. It’s not always easy to change the future, as it has many ramifications, and therein lies the show’s narrative potential that it manages to exploit, perchance to its fullest. Even in the very last episode there’s a hint that maybe the people they’ve helped throughout also have dreams of their own that they use to help others, sort of a pay-it-forward chain. It may be somewhat unrealistic, but it’s a good note to end the show on all the same.

Kim Won-Hae as Choi Dam-Dong. Easily the best supporting character in the show, delivering a stronger and more rewarding performance than in Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, where he played two characters (he was pretty funny as the over-the-top head of development planning at Ainsoft), veering towards the more serious/dramatic/emotional end of the spectrum, although with some comedic elements mixed in. I was surprised by how strong his arc turned out to be, and my respect for his character went up by several points when his arc comes to a close and we finally put all the pieces of the puzzle together. This man can do both comedy and drama, so kudos to him.

What I didn’t like:

Mr. Perfect (also known as Han Woo-Tak). It’s not that I dislike him, far from it. Woo-Tak is so good, smart, selfless, and even good-looking, that he kinda undermines the OTP just by existing. He’s really setting unreasonable standards for any man to compete against. I mean, he even plays Cupid for the OTP... while also being in love with Hong-Joo! On the plus side, the show doesn’t really try to push the romantic triangle angle, what usually has mixed results. The one thing I did mind is how the show hints at him potentially being a better attorney/prosecutor than the main lead since that’s kind of Jae-Chan’s thing. I mean, if you take everything that makes the lead special and give it to someone else, is he still the lead?

OTP: A stronger performance from Lee Jong-Suk than in W, complemented by a relatively (and I cannot stress this word enough) weaker performance by Suzy in some aspects (I think Han Hyo-Joon’s Oh Yeon-Joo in W does sad love better than Suzy as Nam Hong-Joo, but it’s a matter of preference), results in a better pairing with more chemistry. Suzy is great and lovable at being the quirky Nam Hong-Joo (watch the video below if you’re unconvinced) and Jung Jae-Chan is a lot more vulnerable than Kang Chul ever was, but I was left wondering at times whether this couple would’ve gotten as much traction were it not for the strength of their past connection (especially with Mr. Perfect around).

Verdict: What can I say? While You Were Sleeping was an excellent show from beginning to end. If I were to nitpick, I would’ve chosen the end wedding to be the one between Jae-Chan and Hong-Joo since that honestly makes more sense, and maybe I would’ve made Woo-Tak more of a bro than a somewhat-but-not-entirely romantic rival (think Seo Dae-Young in Descendants of the Sun).

Rewatch meter: High

W (2016)

Han Hyo-Joo as Oh Yeon-Joo, and Lee Jong-Suk as Kang Chul.

Release Date: July 20 - September 14, 2016

Episodes: 16

Available on: Viki

Summary: W is a bestselling webtoon by cartoonist Oh Seong-Moo that follows the adventures of Kang Chul, an Olympic gold medalist framed for the murder of his family, who’s eventually acquitted and becomes a multi-millionaire who fights crime (think Bruce Wayne but without the costume). Tired of his creation, Seong-Moo decides it’s time to kill the protagonist and put an end to the series (much like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle decided to kill Sherlock Holmes at the Reichenbach Falls). Oh Yeon-Joo is Seong-Moo’s daughter, a doctor and passionate fan of W, who is one day mysteriously transported to the world of the manhwa, where she sees a dying Kang Chul and saves his life. Intrigued by his mysterious saviour, Kang Chul decides to learn out more about her and Yeon-Joo finds herself constantly returning to the world of the manhwa. Will Kang Chul learn the truth about her and his world? And if so, what will be the consequences?

What I liked:

The concept. It’s not an altogether original concept, and I’m reminded of Schwarzenegger’s Last Action Hero (Who Framed Roger Rabbit before that), but it’s also not one that you see often on the screen, big or small. The idea of being able to enter the world you’re reading about and meeting the characters you know and love is extremely appealing and there is some fangirling from our protagonist initially. Naturally, since she knows everything about this world, it’s good fun to see her inadvertedly reveal something that she couldn’t possibly know and deal with the reactions/consequences. What’s better is how Yeon-Joo tries to figure out the laws of the manhwa world by applying the real-world concepts of cliffhangers and dramatic revelations, often to hilarious effect. Seeing how the manhwa continues to write itself to reflect events in W’s world, and the reactions by readers (and by Yeon-Joo) in the real world is really entertaining, especially those from the more passionate W fans.

The transition between animation and live-action. I love the blend between animation and live action, as in the example below. There are more subtle transitions, like when a character’s hand oscillates between the real world and the cartoon world. Perhaps it’s a very simple filter but it looks good. Also, what little we see of the manhwa is very well drawn.

Han Hyo-Joo as Oh Yeon-Joo. Despite the fact that Yeon-Joo’s character becomes less proactive in the second half of the series (as I will discuss below), she was the one who really carried the show for me, certainly on the emotional side of the spectrum, where Kang Chul felt a little flat throughout (to be fair, he’s more the analytical type and he’s a manhwa character). She was also able to convey humour quite well, especially in the earlier, funnier, episodes.

The execution (of the first half). The first episode doesn’t waste a second setting up the story and there is never a dull moment. Watching Yeon-Joo read the latest episode of the manhwa and witness her reaction as she sees herself in the comic was gripping and I was eager to see what the next episode would bring. The show was also fairly consistent with the rules of travelling back and forth and what one could and couldn’t do in the cartoon world. We were witnessing an epic struggle between the cartoonist who wanted to kill his creation with his stylus and the daughter who wanted to protect him so much that she had willed herself into his world (if that’s not a good setup for a love story, I don’t know what is). And all the while, Kang Chul was putting the pieces of the puzzle together in his universal and unrelenting search for truth. Every episode brought something new to the table and, much like the manhwa, ended with some revelation or cliffhanger that kept you on the edge of your seat asking for more. Unfortunately, I think that was also its downfall.

What I didn’t like:

The execution (of the second half) and the overall pacing. I think the (relative) downfall of this series was trying to do too much too early. It worked for the first half because the show had a lot of material it could burn through and, in a way, it was refreshing that it was willing to do so. Sadly, my thoughts eventually turned from, “What’s going to happen next?” to “What can even happen next?” The story was moving so fast that I began to wonder where exactly it was going, and that’s when some of the flaws started to seep through. Episode 9 focused on the aftermath of Yeon-Joo resetting events, thus making Kang Chul forget all about her. While I certainly felt for her when she met her amnesiac husband, this was largely thanks to Han Hyo-Joo’s performance (and good track selection), for Kang Chul had been her husband in name only. Had we previously seen more episodes of their life together, this scene would’ve been a lot more impactful, and her desperate crying outside the operating room more heartfelt. Then, the plot thickens as we move into the (overly) dramatic second half of the show, with the introduction of a villain who knows about the real world and starts manipulating events in the manhwa for his benefit... by possessing cartoonist Oh Seong-Moo! What? This was never established as even remotely possible! (not to mention it doesn’t make sense) As you can imagine, this is whereabouts the rules of this universe start to break down and anything goes. Furthermore, when this villain is defeated in Episode 13, the show suddenly remembered it already had an antagonist perfectly cast for the part and finally decided to put him to use, although too little too late for my taste. As if that weren’t enough, a character is killed because drama, since any other explanation would make no fucking sense. This death is entirely nonsensical and I was beginning to conclude the show should have ended a lot sooner.

The amount of flashbacks/dreams/recaps/plans. I don’t mind a good recap or a flashback every now and then, but there came a point where the show started abusing this narrative device a little too much. The show spent a lot of time either: going over things we already know; featuring lengthy dream sequences that are very transparent and serve no purpose (although, incidentally, would make for a better ending); or laying out how events are supposed to go only for them to go in a completely different direction. While they are sometimes necessary, most of the time they were just padding that actually detracted from the story.

How secondary the supporting characters in the manhwa truly are. I know Kang Chul is supposed to be the protagonist but his bodyguard and secretary aren’t given a whole lot to work with throughout the show. I wish they had been active participants in learning the truth of their world rather than passive bystanders.

How Yeon-Joo becomes less proactive in the second half. Maybe it’s just a feeling, but I think our female protagonist became more reactive and less proactive in the second half, with Kang Chul being the one who mostly directed the course of events. It didn’t help that she kept fainting every now and then, what meant she had to spend some time in bed, what was a shame since she was the more interesting character. To be honest, I think the whole father arc should’ve been over and done with in the first half, with Yeon-Joo stepping up to be the new cartoonist.

OTP: Undercooked, but Han Hyo-Joo manages to almost convince me.

Verdict: It’s hard not to say W is one of the most refreshing shows I’ve seen in a while, even despite its more prominent flaws in the second half. I don’t like how powerful the drawing tablet became, especially after it was established that the manhwa could, at times, overrule the will of the real world, as clearly depicted when Kang Chul refuses to commit suicide. I’d rather the manhwa characters had resolved things on their own, aided by Yeon-Joo, without having to resort to some ultra-powerful plot device. Furthermore, I think the show should’ve taken things a bit more slowly rather than try to surprise us every episode, and use that time to build the relationship between Yeon-Joo and Kang Chul. Another thing I feel the show didn’t exploit to its fullest was the fact that Yeon-Joo knows just about everything that’s transpired in W’s world, what maybe could’ve aided Kang Chul in his investigation (sadly, this is undermined by the fact that the murderer really has no identity, what I find odd). Last but not least, Kang Chul never remembering his “past life” was a missed opportunity.

Rewatch meter: Medium

My Strange Hero (2018)

From left to right: Jo Bo-Ah as Son Soo-Jung; Yoo Seung-Ho as Kang Bok-Soo; and Kwak Dong-Yeon as Oh Se-Ho.

Release Date: December 10, 2018 - February 4, 2019

Episodes: 32

Available on: Viki

Summary: When Kang Bok-Soo was a high school student, he was falsely accused of committing acts of violence and ended up expelled from school. Those who brought the accusations against him were his first love, Son Soo-Jung, and a fellow student, Oh Se-Ho. Nine years later, Bok-Soo saves Soo-Jung’s life and suddenly finds himself a mediatic sensation. In order to improve the school’s somewhat tarnished image, he’s invited back to finish his studies. Bok-Soo hesitates, but when he learns Soo-Jung is a teacher there and Se-Ho is the new director, a latent desire to get revenge surfaces. Will Bok-Soo finally get his revenge on the people who wronged him nine years ago? Or will he spend most of his time doing anything but? The latter.

What I liked:

Teacher Park. He’s the kind of teacher everyone would like to have in high school and an example of moral rectitude that Soo-Jung tries to follow. You can tell he really cares for all the students and always tries to be fair and just, no matter the personal cost.

Soo-Jung’s arc. Probably the character who experiences the most growth throughout the show, in no small part thanks to her starting point. She’s the only teacher who stands up for her students, is willing to expose the corruption in the school, and goes so far as to quit her job because she feels she didn’t earn her spot fair and square (despite Oh Se-Ho telling her she was hired because of her qualifications). It is worth noting that when Mr Park gives the other teachers the chance to own up and resign honourably nobody does.

What I didn’t like:

The series meanders a lot early on. Initially, I watched till Episode 14 and dropped it because nothing was really going on. Bok-Soo says he wants to get revenge but his heart really isn’t into it. He certainly doesn’t have a plan like, say, Edmond Dantes in The Count of Monte Cristo, or Emily Thorne in Revenge. In fact, for those first 14 episodes, it only seemed he went there to suffer some more at the hands of the same people who wronged him all those years ago. What leads me to...

Son Soo-Jung isn’t a very likable protagonist initially. I don’t know if this is done on purpose to get us to side with Bok-Soo, but it doesn’t seem like a very smart strategy to have us dislike the lead’s main love interest for almost half the length of the series. I mean, that’s what the antagonist is for. It seems like at every opportunity she twists the knife on Bok-Soo’s back a little more, so much so that a hurt Bok-Soo outright demands, “Why don’t you just ask me what happened instead of constantly making assumptions?” (I’m paraphrasing) Her response, basically telling him to fuck off, didn’t win her any points in my book. That’s about when the writers probably realized their mistake and started filling us in on how Soo-Jung’s life was also miserable after Bok-Soo was expelled so please don’t hate her. They also pull a 180 when she stands up for Bok-Soo during a disciplinary hearing, what I thought was quite out of character for her at the time. The two seem to patch up their relationship awfully fast, what struck me as odd as they didn’t seem to have much chemistry. Having said that, Soo-Jung’s character certainly grows after Episode 14 and has a very satisfying arc, ultimately being the only teacher worth a damn in this school, other than Mr Park.

“Is Kang Bok-Soo’s revenge finally starting?” After I initially dropped this show at the Episode 14 mark, a video popped up in my YT feed with that title (only they used the actor’s name instead of the character’s). It was a scene where Bok-Soo went about exposing the many deeds of corruption within the school. Great, I thought, shit is finally hitting the fan... in Episode 26. I resumed watching from that mark until the end. The series had finally managed to get me invested, almost as it was over, and I decided to watch the episodes I’d missed.

OTP: There are some cute moments but I still didn’t feel the chemistry (what, ultimately, is my entirely subjective take).

Verdict: I don’t feel this is a true romance drama like others on this list, if ever it tried to be, what’s decidedly strange because there are many episodes dedicated to exploring the relationship between Bok-Soo and Soo-Jung with little else going on. Instead, I see it as more of a critique on the Korean education system and the immense pressures students are subjected to in order to meet unreasonable standards, with some romance elements sprinkled on it so that it’s not too depressing. That’s my take on it anyway. As such, it has some enjoyable aspects to it, like seeing Bok-Soo share nuggets of wisdom every now and then, or the students standing up for Bok-Soo and their school, or the revenge/investigation finally kicking into high gear. It’s just unfortunate it took so long to get there and didn’t really encourage me to do so.

Rewatch meter: Low

The Secret Life of my Secretary (2019)

From left to right: Koo Ja-Sung as Ki Dae-Joo; Kim Young-Kwang as Do Min-Ik; Jin Ki-Joo as Jung Gal-Hee; and Kim Jae-Kyung as Veronica Park/Park Ok-Sun.

Release Date: May 6 - June 25, 2019

Episodes: 32

Available on: Viki

Summary: The story follows Do Min-Ik, a prominent director at T&T Mobile Media, and his secretary, Jung Gal-Hee, as together they deal with the onset of an illness that prevents Do Min-Ik from seeing faces, the result of a possible attempt on Min-Ik’s life by some unknown party. On the corporate drama side, this undermines his shot to succeed his (jerk of an) uncle as Chairman of the company, and we see Min-Ik and Gal-Hee struggling to hide the truth of his illness and overcome the many obstacles set on their way to chairmanship. On the romance side, his inability to recognize faces causes him to mistake his secretary for Veronica Park, a rich heiress and leading figure in the film industry, whom he eventually falls in love with... what is kind of a problem since the real Veronica Park develops a crush on Min-Ik’s best friend, Ki Dae-Joo (also a director at T&T), while Gal-Hee falls in love with her boss. And, just in case we didn’t have enough corporate drama, we learn early on that someone may be embezzling from T&T and all the signs point to Dae-Joo. How will this all turn out?

What I liked:

Do Min-Ik and Jung Gal-Hee working together. Min-Ik is one sharp boss, and the moment he’s unable to recognize faces, he starts devising other strategies to recognize people, such as identifying them by their height. Gal-Hee pitches in with the different directors’ hairstyles, and eventually Min-Ik is even able to recognize them by their specific tics. Another example is the first stockholders’ meeting where they team up to prevent Min-Ik’s dismissal. Everything goes so smoothly that it prompts Veronica Park to ask Gal-Hee, and I’m paraphrasing here, “Did you write the script to this play?”

What I didn’t like:

The deceit lasting so long. Min-Ik doesn’t start as the best of bosses, we see that in the first episode, but that very same episode opens the door for him caring for Gal-Hee more than he’s willing to let on. The show does a good enough job of explaining his rather rude behaviour towards his secretaries and why he always fires them within a year, what makes the deceit all the more hurtful. However, the problem I have with Min-Ik not realizing Gal-Hee was pretending to be Veronica Park, is that this happens for 24 episodes! That means we only have 8 episodes left for him to feel betrayed about the whole thing yet also recover in time to start dating Gal-Hee. I don’t feel this was enough time to successfully explore their relationship.

How weak/bland every other story is. The attempt on Min-Ik’s life and the police’s investigation of it is handled abysmally, with the detectives only appearing from time to time to create what some writer thinks is drama. They’re so useless that the perpetrator actually has to turn himself in! I thought Dae-Joo was a bland character throughout, so I had zero interest in his relationship with Veronica Park. The same goes for Gal-Hee’s family. Even Min-Ik’s mother somehow pulls a 180 out of the blue. The only other plot thread that caught my eye was the possible embezzlement and that was wrapped up horribly, what leads me to...

No one facing the consequences of their actions. No matter how much the writers want to frame this secret organisation within T&T as Robin-Hood-like, the fact remains that they were stealing. Not only that, but they can be directly tied to the assault and attempted murder of Do Min-Ik, among other crimes. Sure, they’re all fired at some point, but they all get hired back thanks to Min-Ik. Nobody faces any jail time except for the guy directly responsible for Min-Ik’s accident who actually apologizes to him and turns himself in. The leader of this shadowy organisation comes out unscathed and has her machinations to see Dae-Joo become chairman of T&T rewarded when...

Dae-Joo becoming the chairman of T&T. What a payoff. The blandest and most uninterested character in the entire show becomes the chairman when the character we’ve been rooting for throughout, the only one who’s willing to put everything on the line to help the downtrodden secretaries, gets the short end of the stick. I guess it’s true when they say no good deed goes unpunished.

OTP: There is some chemistry there and I wish we had seen more of it, but sadly the (official) relationship between Gal-Hee and Min-Ik takes place a little too late.

Verdict: Usually, most of the kdramas I’ve watched and liked, to some extent, have some scenes that are imprinted on your mind (much like Gal-Hee’s face is imprinted on Min-Ik) and that you find yourself returning to from time to time. With this show, I honestly had to struggle to recall any such scenes, even with the aid of YouTube playlists. This is not helped by the fact that I can recall none of the music used, and that’s not a good sign. Memorable scenes and songs usually go together, as the next show in my list will prove. Ultimately, The Secret Life of my Secretary, while entertaining enough, didn’t live up to my expectations and, as such, it’s unlikely I’ll be rewatching it any time soon.

Rewatch meter: Low

Angel’s Last Mission: Love (2019)

Shin Hye-Sun as Lee Yeon-Seo, and Kim Myung-Soo (Infinite L) as Kim Dan.

Release Date: May 22 - July 11, 2019

Episodes: 32

Available on: Viki

Summary: Kim Dan, a troublemaking angel with a kind heart, is 24 hours away from Heaven when he meets the beautiful, talented, yet cynical and arrogant, prima ballerina Lee Yeon-Seo. Recently blinded by an accident during a performance, Yeon-Seo somehow manages to spot Kim Dan, who should be invisible to any human. His curiosity sparked, he follows Yeon-Seo around and eventually, in a fit of impulsiveness, saves her life in a car accident. However, for having interfered and saved a human’s life, Kim Dan is fated to turn to dust... unless he’s willing to undertake one final task. His mission? He must help Yeon-Seo find true love, but will he be able to keep from falling in love himself? Obviously not. And, naturally, Yeon-Seo has some evil relatives who are out to get her, because it wouldn’t be a kdrama otherwise.

What I liked:

The songs. I can’t vouch for the entire OST for I haven’t listened to it all yet (Correction: I’ve now since listened to all of it and it really has a lot of good tracks), but there are at least a handful of songs that will stick with you like glue. I can’t say if I like the songs more because of the scenes in which they play, or if I like the scenes more because of the songs that are used, but I can say the songs play an important role in engraving these scenes into my mind. Songs like ‘Sweeter’, by Jess Penner, that play when we’re playfully exploring the relationship between Yeon-Seo and Kim Dan; or ‘Pray’, by KLANG, when some important relevation or dramatic scene is about to transpire; or ‘Oh My Angel’, by Chai, that plays during the more romantic moments; these songs have made it into my Spotify list and are a must-listen on a daily basis for now.

The humor. Beyond the interactions between Kim Dan and Yeon-Seo, which sometimes make for very humorous situations, my hat’s off to the characters of Archangel Hoo, Dan’s senior (played by Kim In-Kwon) and Chung Yu-Mi, Yeon-Seo’s butler (played by Woo Hee-Jin). The former has dozens of opportunities for humor as he’s able to take the form of any human and keeps surprising Kim Dan by keeping tabs on him. The latter is probably the closest thing Yeon-Seo has to a mother (or maybe an older sister), and can be playfully mischievous when she starts noticing our leads may have feelings for each other. There are two scenes that perfectly embody the show’s humor that I would be remiss if I didn’t direct you to. Be aware they contain spoilers.

The leads and their chemistry. You cannot make a kdrama work if the leads don’t have some sort of chemistry (well, I suppose you could but it would be a bit of an uphill battle) and Shin Hye-Sun and Kim Myung-Soo have that in spades. This shows not only during the more romantic scenes, what’s expected, but also during their fights, what’s even better (if that makes any sense). This isn’t the first time I’ve seen L acting, in fact, he played the character of Yoo Tan in the short kdrama One More Time, with actress Yoon So-Hee playing his love interest, Moon Da-In. He sold me on that show then, as did Yoon So-Hee, but I feel his acting’s improved in this, or maybe the script and length of the show allows him to flesh out his character more, showing us more sides of his personality as the show draws to its end. And it’s really amazing to see how effortlessly Shin Hye-Sun can don the skin of the strong, cold, and harsh Yeon-Seo in one scene, and then swap it for the playful, romantic, and vulnerable Yeon-Seo that Kim Dan falls in love with in the next. Just watch more of those KBS World TV clips if you don’t believe me. These two steal every scene they’re in, but I feel Shin Hye-Sun is really the standout here. (At the time of this posting, Shin Hye-Sun has won the Top Excellence Award (Female) in KBS’s 2019 Drama Awards for her role in this show, so congratulations to her on an award well deserved!)

What I didn’t like:

How the show meanders towards the end. I laid out the plot in the most succinct way possible, but it’s hardly that straightforward. Dan’s mission should, in theory, be over when Yeon-Seo learns to love again, but then the show would then be over a lot sooner than Episode 32. The writers know that so they move the goalpost, at some point revealing that Dan also had to learn to love for the mission to be truly over. Not only that, but they both had to be willing to sacrifice everything for their loved one in order for God to believe their love was sincere or something, what leads one to think they need to commit suicide and the other to think they need to commit murder. I don’t know, by this point the show’s either stretching things out to reach the 32-episode mark or they’re milking each scene for every ounce of drama they can get, probably both. This problem gets compounded by the fact that...

Some (other) things don’t make a whole lot of sense. To start with, the theology and consistency on this show is all over the place. The same God that apparently ordered a couple of angels to shoot someone, gangsta style, because an angel broke the rules and fell in love with a human, is moved by our lead couple’s Romeo-and-Juliet love story and by Yeon-Seo’s ballet performance. Oh, and by the way, shooting someone is not how unruly angels are dealt with, God can simply pull a Thanos and have them vanish into mist, so why did he decide to use a gun that one time? Because drama! God also decides that the best time to send Dan to Heaven is when Yeon-Seo is lying commatose in the hospital (what a dick), to which Dan says, “Fuck it, I’m staying here,” and God lets him return as an angel so he can help Yeon-Seo wake up, interfering once again and thereby ceasing to exist... except he’s still an angel an episode later! What the f*** is going on here?! Archangel Hoo broke the rules once and he got the Thanos treatment, so how come Kim Dan gets so many second chances?

Some characters are either superfluous or their arcs are unclear. As an example of the latter, there’s the character of Ji Kang-Woo (played by Lee Dong-Gun), Yeon-Seo’s ballet instructor and Kim Dan’s rival for Yeon Seo’s affection. It’s revealed early on that he’s an angel-turned-human after breaking the rules and falling in love with a human himself... whom the gangster angels promptly killed. It’s never explained why she had to die while Yeon-Seo and Kim Dan are allowed to stay together, but apparently Kang-Woo is satisfied that his pain was necessary so he could help them trick God or something. I’ve no idea. But the award for the most superfluous character has to go to Ni-Na’s secret ballet instructor who only appears when the script dictates and is not developed at all. I can’t even remember if she had a name! What was her point even?

OTP: Probably one of the best pairings of the year (says the guy who’s watched maybe 4-5 2019 shows out of who knows how many).

Verdict: This is a case of the pros outweighing the cons. There’s simply too much that works for me, so many scenes and songs that stayed with me thanks to the strong performances of our leads and some of the supporting cast. I was never unaware of its more glaring flaws, what prevents this show from reaching Goblin levels of quality, but I could easily find myself rewatching it from time to time.

Rewatch meter: High

Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon (2017)

From left to right: Park Bo-Young as Do Bong-Soon; Ji Soo as In Guk-Doo; and Park Hyung-Sik as Ahn Min-Hyuk.

Release Date: February 24 - April 15, 2017

Episodes: 16

Available on: Viki, Netflix

Summary: Do Bong-Soon has a secret: she is insanely strong, a superhuman ability that has been passed down to the women in her family for generations. She also aspires to create a video game with herself as the main character. When Ahn Min-Hyuk, the CEO of gaming company Ainsoft, chances by her as she’s beating up half a dozen thugs, he’s instantly mesmerized by both her beauty and strength. The recent target of anonymous threats, Min-Hyuk decides to hire Bong-Soon as a bodyguard (she ends up being more of a secretary) and she accepts with the promise of joining the planning department of Ainsoft once the culprit is caught. Meanwhile, detective In Guk-Doo, Bong-Soon’s secret crush and childhood friend, investigates a series of strange kidnappings and murders in Bong-Soon’s neighbourhood. When the culprit targets Bong-Soon’s best friend, Bong-Soon and Min-Hyuk find themselves involved in the hunt for the criminal.

What I liked:

Gangster Bong-Soon. Okay, maybe saying she’s a gangster is a bit too much, but after beating a bunch of school bullies into submission, they soon look up to her as their new boss, taking orders from her and even looking out for her so that her secret isn’t exposed. It’s pretty funny then that Bong-Soon has to save her crew from being harassed by the new neighbourhood bullies, acting the part of a gangster for a short while.

The need for training. I appreciate the fact that Min-Hyuk foresaw the need to help Bong-Soon have full control of her strength, although he also created routines to bolster up her endurance, not to mention some of the moves she learned could have come in handy when she was depowered (sadly, she doesn’t use them). And all of this training does indeed pay off, as we see Bong-Soon fight smartly and using only as much strength as is needed to get the job done, as opposed to her Episode 1 self who used way too much strength with hilarious results. You can witness the results of Min-Hyuk’s training in the fight with the “new bullies” I mentioned previously, as well as the one at the beginning of Episode 9. Beyond fighting, her training also had positive results in her everyday life, like now being able to hug people without worrying about choking them.

The leads and their chemistry. The chemistry of these two is off the charts (it’s over 9000!!!). Everything about Park Bo-Young as Do Bong-Soon screams cute, from her short height to the way she talks, and even her glares of disapproval when Min-Hyuk does something he shouldn’t have. She’s also confident when she needs to, but not afraid to show vulnerability around the people she loves. I could shower similar praise on Park Hyung-Sik as Ahn Min-Hyuk, especially where the vulnerability department is concerned. Male leads tend to be more stoic (like In Guk-Doo), so it was quite refreshing to see how devastated Min-Hyuk was when he learned the identity of the one threatening him, or how crazy-in-love he is around Bong-Soon (she’s his kryptonite). Min-Hyuk is never afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve and it shows in every single scene. These two can just stare at each other in silence and convey more emotion than any spoken word.

The humor. I’m not talking about the dumb hospital scenes that feature humor more similar to what you’d find in a crappy Hollywood “comedy” (peeing jokes, really?), but things like Hyung-Sik’s ad-libbing throughout the show (he’s having a blast), or the more funny interactions between Min-Hyuk and Bong-Soon, even the ever-changing Romeo and Juliet scenes as Bong-Soon’s feelings for the different characters evolve.

What I didn’t like:

The sudden disappearance of Min-Hyuk’s family. Initially, the show has two distinct storylines: the string of kidnappings/murders, on the one hand; and the threats to Min-Hyuk, likely related to the question of who in his family will become the new Chairman of Ohsung Group. As expected, Min-Hyuk has several brothers who are a bit jealous of his success with Ainsoft and intuit their father will name him the Chairman, so it makes sense one of them is behind the threats. Once the storyline is resolved however, Min-Hyuk’s family is completely out of the picture, even during his marriage, what I find extremely odd.

The randomness of the depowering rule. Very early on the show explains that, while the women of the Bong-Soon family are blessed with superhuman strength from birth, they can easily lose this ability should they try to use it for less than honorable pursuits. It can be something as simple, and apparently harmless, as using this strength to become an Olympic weightlifting champion, as Bong-Soon’s mother soon found out, but it’s usually tied to using this ability to hurt innocent people. Naturally, once this rule was made known, it was only a matter of time before Bong-Soon would lose her powers as well, and this did indeed happen towards the end of the show. The problem I have with it is two-fold: its execution and its consistency. Bong-Soon doesn’t purposefully hurt an innocent man, she’s tricked into doing so by the villain. One could argue that whatever higher power granted this ability can’t tell the difference, except that argument falls apart entirely when you realize Bong-Soon has already purposefully used her power to hurt innocent people, like that one time she crushed Min-Hyuk’s foot to keep him silent (among multiple examples). That this event is played for laughs should have no bearing on the outcome. Furthermore, we later see Bong-Soon pleading for her strength to return so she can save Min-Hyuk, so it would appear that whatever higher power was listening is intelligent. At the end of the day, we all know this happened because the writers didn’t want to limit the fun possibilities of Bong-Soon abusing her power a little bit, saving it for the right moment to amp the drama. So, in reality, I was aware of it, and decided to roll with it.

OTP: Cuteness overload.

Verdict: This is one of the strongest shows in this list (no pun intended), more so given how much it’s able to pull off in 16 episodes as opposed to other shows’ 32, which is why I’m more lenient in terms of its writing. This is simply a good, fun, show, easily rewatchable thanks to the cute OTP. While its soundtrack may not be on par overall with the one from Angel’s Last Mission: Love, it still features some solid, memorable, songs (’Heartbeat’ by SURAN being the most obvious, but also ‘Double Trouble Couple’ by MAMAMOO, or ‘Super Power Girl’ by Every Single Day), not to mention a highly effective and comedic use of sound effects. Definitely one of my favourite shows.

Rewatch meter: High

And that brings us to the end of Part 1. I hope you had a good time reading through this post, maybe even found a show to your liking. What were some of your favourite shows in 2019? Stay tuned for Part 2!

[soyouthinkyoucansleep]

Battle of the Blades Episode 1 Review

For those who saw my earlier post, I got to go to the live taping of BOTB in Hamilton...my tickets were the front row (excluding VIP) so I got a really really good view! Here is my review of the show. I’m gonna talk about all of the couples in the order they skated. I was also gonna talk about the judges and some comments on the show overall but I’ll save that for another post since this is getting long.

A quick intro into the format. So during the commercial break, which is about 3 minutes, the skaters on deck get to warm up. For most of it, everyone focused on stroking with a few timers for lifts in there. The skaters are scored in the 10.0 system rather than 6.0 in the past which was a little weird. For today’s show, Tessa and Scott counted as one judge (they gave one score together). I felt like I was watching NCAA gymnastics for a bit. In the past, eliminations were based solely on viewer votes; the scores were just guidelines. Now like DWTS, its a combination of viewer votes and the judge's scores. The bottom two based on that will be required to compete in a skate-off next week and the winner of the skate-off is selected by the judges. Winner stays, loser goes home.

I went with my younger sister who is a figure skater so the technical comments come from her. It was great sitting with her to get that insight. Scroll below the cut for all my comments.

Natalie Spooner and Andrew Poje

They were the first ones to go so they had the pressure of setting the bar for everyone. Nat was away at Hockey Canada’s national team camp for about 8 days and she only got back to figure skating Monday morning, leaving three full days of rehearsals before the show.

Naturally, Natalie seemed very very nervous in this warm-up, almost looking like she was about to throw up. She kept looking at the ground while skating (a big no-no, as per my sister) and I noticed a few times Andrew reminded her to look up.

While the warm-up may have been a recipe for a bad skate, the routine was anything but! Nat had a huge smile on her face and seemed to have fun the entire time once the program got started. There was one major lift, a knee slide in there, and some footwork. Andrew and the choreographers did a good job adding a little mix of everything and they highlighted that Natalie was a strong skater (compared to many of the others). Completely forgot the fact that she’s hopping back and forth between hockey and figure skates because of her national team commitments.

They ended with 27.9 (9.3′s across the board) for T-3rd overall.

Colton Orr and Amanda Evora

Amanda is the reigning BOTB champion so there’s a little bit of expectation for her there. She’s skating for Boys & Girls Clubs of Canada in honour of a friend of hers who recently passed away (I think he’s the father of one of her students, Grace Knoop?)

Overall, they weren’t terrible but there wasn’t anything exciting about them. They did two lifts and a death spiral but the remainder mostly felt like stroking. Colton was also very right and like Kurt said, didn’t allow his lower body to move freely and separately from the upper body. Time could help with this but they were in last place with 27.4 (9.2 from Colby Armstrong, 9.1 from VM and Kurt). They will need the votes and potentially a good skate-off next week to be safe for week 3. My sister thinks they’ll be the ones to go home first and I agree with her.

Sheldon Kennedy and Kaitlyn Weaver

tw: abuse, sexual abuse

Sheldon’s intro piece focused on the abuse he suffered at the hands of his hockey coach Graham James. CBC did not shy away from the topic. They stated that Graham kept trading for Sheldon in the junior leagues so he could keep abusing him. The intro piece then showed how Sheldon took this terrible thing that happened to him and made it his life’s mission to educate the world and have these discussions so it doesn’t happen again.

What was truly amazing was how the crowd erupted in cheers for Sheldon at that part. It felt like the entire country of Canada is proud of Sheldon for the person he has become. I could see Sheldon getting a little emotional by that response.

They skated to Wake Me Up by Avicii which kinda tells the story of Sheldon wanting to run away from hockey to escape his abuse but found himself again and found joy in his life. And this routine was the literal definition of fun and joy. Sheldon and Kaitlyn had the biggest smiles on their faces and were both having the time of their life.

Not to take away from the fun, but they also skated probably the most difficult routine technically out there. There was an overhead lift. This is especially amazing considering Sheldon is only 5′10″ and Kaitlyn is 5′7″. Kaitlyn was not going easy on him and threw in a bit of the Yankee Polka pattern dance. YANKEE POLKA. AND they made sure to get the crowd involved too.

They received a well deserved, unanimous standing ovation. Like everyone was standing up, even the women with canes in the rows behind me. And they finished the night with 28.3 (9.4, 9.4, 9.5 from Kurt) in first place.

Amanda Kessel and Eric Radford

In the intro piece, you could see how much Amanda really looks up to her older brother Phil Kessel (Stanley Cup winner with Pittsburgh) and I think that’s so precious. She even chose Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto as her charity after seeing Phil bring the Stanley Cup to the kids and seeing their reactions and subsequently the work Sick Kids does for these children and their families.

Amanda and Eric skated to “Juice” by Lizzo so I was already excited for that. In terms of training footage, both Amanda and Eric posted a lot of lifts so I was excited to see what they were planning. They did do a fair number of lifts and a death spiral in there which were well executed. However, beyond that, I felt Amanda was very similar to Colton as she was very tight and rigid. Because she was the one being lifted, it was less noticeable compared to Colton–the lifts and tricks in a sense “broke apart” the tight skating.  They ended in second last, with 27.7 (9.3 from Colby, 9.2 from the others)

Brian McGrattan and Vanessa James

Brian McGrattan is a Hamilton Native so this was a homecoming for him. He lives in Calgary now but a lot of family and friends were here supporting him. Brian discussed his struggles with anxiety and depression which lead to alcoholism. He then sought treatment through the NHL’s alcohol abuse program.

Side note: It’s amazing that CBC, and these hockey players, are not shying away from these difficult topics. Brian McGrattan is a 6′4″, big, tattooed, enforcer. If he can come out on national TV and say “hey I struggled with depression and anxiety and I sought help”, I hope that inspires other boys and men to not shy away from these problems. The stigma with mental health is stronger with men and boys and I think people like Brian can make a difference. So kudos to the players and CBC for having these topics.

The program overall was elegant and vulnerable which is a completely different side to what people are used to for Brian, but he pulled it off really well. Brian truly opened himself up and was committed to the program. Technically they had some amazing lifts and a good connection. Overall they scored 27.9 to tie for 3rd with Natalie and Andrew but the individual judges were all over the place a bit (9.4 from Colby, 9.3 from VM, 9.2 from Kurt)

Bruno Gervais and Ekaterina Gordeeva

I’m just gonna start off by saying Bruno Gervais is an amazing dude. Just out of the goodness of his heart essentially, he started a charity with his close friend Max Talbot (husband of former Canadian Ladies’ Champion Cynthia Phaneuf) which provides underprivileged children with opportunities, ranging from sports to funding hospitals. They started this charity together when both were just 23 years old!

Katia is a queen. That is all that needs to be said. She was referred to as the G.O.A.T. by Kurt and Ron MacLean many times throughout the night, and rightly so. Both of them worked with Elladj Balde a fair bit which was very helpful for them. Elladj is trilingual (English, Russian, and French)–Katia’s first language is Russian and Bruno’s is French so Elladj communicated with them in their respective mother tongues.

Elladj’s influence was seen at the beginning of the routine with Bruno busting out some [very good] dance moves. His skating was very fluid and relaxed and he was very comfortable with the lifts, even doing a “combination lift” per se which involved a lot of twists and turns. They got a partial standing ovation from the crowd, the only other team to do so. I forget their score off the top of my head but they were in second place, close to Sheldon and Kaitlyn.

So that’s my review of the skates...stay tuned tomorrow for comments on the judges and the show overall.

Also, my messages are open if you want to ask me about anything in particular!

[inevitable-anna]

Escape The Night Spoilers S4X10

Here it is, guys! My final S4 reaction post. It’s been a long, funny, yet sad journey.

Anyway my series review should be up at sometime tomorrow.

For now, I hope you enjoy this post.

[[MORE]]

Is that the society lady? Jael? Or Ryu? Who is she with?

So this lady went into the museum for a mission.

Whoever this is, she is a badass!

Uh oh, here's The Collector.

Don’t open it! It’s what The Collector wants you to do! Don’t listen to her!

Oh no. What’s happening?

Waaahhhhh? She's the Gorgon?

Well, I didn't see that coming. Although I do like that they’ve given The Gorgon a backstory.

Watching the intro just hurts now that pretty much everyone is dead.

The way Colleen's smile falls when The Sorceress betrays them.

Oh sh*t, The Collector is alive again.

RUN YOU NUMBSKULLS RUN!

OMG it's Benjamin, Lucy, High Tower, The blue harpy, a vampire from S2, the guardian from S1, and The Carnival Master!

"It's like bloody Christmas everyday!"

Ohh yes! The Sorceress vs The Collector round 2!

The Collector definitely is gonna win.

Okay, they can kill The Collector by turning her to stone. Pity that The Gorgon is dead.

Egyptian exhibition is first up.

1/7 emblems found!

Joey: "The plan is to stick together."

Monsters: *come running in*

The group: *screams and runs in different directions*

Joey: "The plan has failed. And now it's every man for himself."

Now they have to help Garuda pay his penance in Hell? Hell naw, he bludgeoned Tim to death!

I wasn’t expecting Colleen to burp when she's scared.

Colleen got captured! :(

SAVE HER!

Joey: "If one of us gets captured we need to stick together and rescue them."

Colleen: *gets captured*

Joey: "Nm, lets go get the note."

Colleen trying to volunteer to be evil is actually sad to me, she's so scared of dying for a third time, that she offers to betray her friends.

Carnival Master, please don't sacrifice Colleen! She's the only the one left that I like. :(

Colleen: "you speak a very similar language to my newborn baby. I have a newborn baby."

Carnival Master: *chanting*

Colleen: "I have a newborn baby."

Carnival Master: "Shut up!"

Okay, Colleen trying not to get murdered/sacrificed is sad yet sort of funny?

Bretman: "Look, right here. Right here. I've got your back."

Colleen: "This is really uncomfortable, so maybe... we can, you know, this is not a good angle for him over there. You know, there's... it's a mess down there. You don't want people to see that, but that could be my power that I kill people with, just show em the vag. It's terrifying down there now."

Carnival Master: "Do you ever stop talking?" I love how the CM doesn't actually sound angry, he sounds genuinely curious.

Bretman: "The warrior statue is probably the one that looks the most warriorie, like obviously." No, Bretman, really? I thought it would be the one holding a ton of grapes!

Colleen: "I'm telling you, it's like a reflex, like I'm terrified so I can't stop talking. I also desperately need water, I have like cotton mouth."

Colleen: *in confessional* "I know I'm like p*ssing off these monsters and that means they're probably gonna kill me even sooner, but I literally can't stop talking." Well, at least, it’s stalling for time?

Yay, they saved Colleen!

Omg! Joey, Bretman, and Colleen are hiding under the table and they are so squashed together! How did they even fit under there?

The Collector and The Sorceress are still fighting?!?!?? I guess it keeps them both occupied from trying to find the guests

3/7 emblems found!

"Where flesh becomes stone." So Mortimer or the Gorgon's lair?

I feel like the whole ETN fandom just forgot that Mortimer died... again

The Gorgon's killer? So The Minotaur?

Wait! If that's The Minotaur's severed head, then who killed The Minotaur? Because Alex ordered The Minotaur to go back to the labyrinth and stay there.

Joey hiding behind that statue is hilarious! It reminds me of that scene in 'Aladdin' where he hides behind the strongman.

Joey ducks down under the statue and immediately sees its butt.

4/7 emblems found!

To get the sword that will turn The Collector to stone, they have to cover Excalibur in the Gorgon's blood. Lovely!

Yes! The Gorgon is gonna get revenge... even if it is from beyond the grave.

5/7 emblems found!

That map is the challenge grounds where Tana and Justine where for the first challenge. The Black steps are the stepping stones they need to use to get to the red one, where the emblem will be! I think? Are the flesh-eating scarabs still there?

Yeah, I was wrong.

6/7 emblems found!

For the final emblem they have to play a tune on the drums

7/7 emblems found!

I feel like the reason it's so quiet is that the monsters are gonna try and ambush the group.

Oh, they have to trap the monsters to get them out of the way, so the groups can turn Excalibur into The Sword Of All Legends.

It worked!

The monsters are now inside the exhibition cases! :D

Since we see a close up of all the monsters in the exhibition cases, I think the woman playing the harpy is quite pretty.

Although at 25:23 am I the only one thinks that Lucy looks scared?

Spell time... and they messed it up already...

*Spongebob narrator voice* “1 year later”

Yay! They did the spell! And it worked!

The Sword Of All Legends looks amazing! I want one!

HOW ARE THE COLLECTOR AND THE SORCERESS STILL FIGHTING?!?!!

The Sorceress is dead... again.

Joey: *stabs The Collector and turns her to stone*

Me: "YEAH! That's for Liza, Gabbie, Destorm, Tana, Justine, Alex, Tim, and... and Ro..."

The vault is open!

Is that the box that corrupted the Gorgon?

Grab the sphere and RUN!!

That box has the same Cthulhu looking thing as the 'Cursed God' statue last episode. The one that the caveman touched and I think got possessed by.

Joey just opened the soul jar... but what is going to happen to those souls now? Are the guests from this season in there or... like what was the point?

Aww that soul was Liza! At least she's not in Hell like I thought she was.

They opened the portal!

Bretman and Colleen are through!

Me: “Hoe, don’t do it!”

Joey: *runs back inside the museum*

Me: “Oh my god.”

Yep, he's going back for that stupid box.

Joey! You idiot! (No hate on real life Joey.)

29:42 Mat realising that Ro isn't with them... it’s so sad, I wanted her to live and be reunited with him.

Mat: "What happened?"

Bretman: "I don't know."

Colleen: "He didn't come through."

Me: "That's because he has to leave this season on a cliff hanger so they can make S5"

Joey opened the Cursed God's box... like a dumbass. (Again, no hate on real life Joey.)

And he's gotten sucked into the box. Like The Collector said to the Gorgon, "Looks like there's a trace of evil inside you."

Although I think that I would like to see a series where Joey is actually the big bad.

And that’s my final reaction post done! Woah, this has been a journey, and it’s been lovely to share it with you all. :D I hope you all enjoyed my posts about this season.

Hopefully, I shall be able to do another reaction series for S5, if there is one. My series review should be up tomorrow if everything goes according to plan.

But if any of you have an ETN questions for me, whether it’s about my favourite characters or something completely different, I would love to answer them! :D

I hope you have a lovely day!

[tessatechaitea]

Scarab #5

Scarab just learned how to use "whomst'd" correctly.

Maybe the sudden need for drugs was due to this character with my name trying to kill himself.

I hadn't actually gotten to the part where the guy notes he's on drugs or that he's surrounded by poppies so I think I just have to give credit to John Smith's writing for setting up a real "I'm fucking overdosing on pain killers" tone. Now I'm also jealous of a fictional nobody. If only I had too many painkillers right now, um, well, I'd probably never hit publish on this blog post and all five of my readers would be wondering, "When the fuck is Grunion Guy (or Tess (or Jeff (or whoever the fuck this asshole is))) ever going to finish reading Scarab?" According to my Non-Certified Sister-in-law, nutritionists have to report people for suicidal ideation. She told this to me because she's a nutritionist and I said to her one night at karaoke that my current retirement plan was to do whatever the fuck I wanted until my bank account was dry and then kill myself. But she never reported me so I guess she doesn't realize that's actually my retirement plan. Speaking of karaoke, I knocked another song off of my karaoke bucket list this week: "Like China" by Phil Collins. I fucked that song so hard on stage, some woman high-fived me and some other guy came up to me and thanked me for reminding him that the song exists. He was super drunk. Super drunk guys love me at karaoke. One time this guy whose name I believe was Creepy Kevin asked me, after I'd just sung "Everybody Knows," if I was doing it in the style of Leonard Cohen or Concrete Blonde. I said Concrete Blonde and he said, "Your voice really suits it." Which is when I stabbed him in the throat and tossed him in the dumpster out back with the leftover spring rolls from the night before because how dare he insult Johnette Napolitano! She has the voice of an angel and I have the voice of the person the angel walks on so that they don't have to get their feet dirty at the angel orgy. I know nobody is reading this and thinking, "What the fuck are you talking about?! What has happened to Scarab this issue?! Has Eleanor found her way home?!" How many people even remember that this comic book ever existed?! I just read four issues of it a week and a half ago and I almost forgot it existed! This issue is called "Paradise Defiled" which I just read although maybe my subconscious read it earlier (due to the comic being opened to that page and just sitting there on the scanner) which is why I was thinking about angel orgies. This guy Jeff is somebody Louis knows. An old woman — maybe his mother? — phones Louis to ask if he's seen him. So that's how Scarab gets involved with Jeff's suicidal problem. Meanwhile, Eleanor is sprouting ecotoplasmic rivulets. It's super gross. But this issue isn't about Scarab and Eleanor! At least I don't think it is. It's about Jeff waking up from his pleasant and relaxing overdose to find himself in an afterlife torture garden sex party. He totally hates it and I understand why. The place is first described as "a literal incarnation of a littoral world" and I have to stop myself from Googling "home lobotomy." The first tortured sex victim he meets is a guy strapped to a wheel with a bunch of knives in him spouting "Vertigo phrases." I explained "Vertigo phrases" in a previous commentary (or all of my previous Vertigo commentaries maybe?) but for those who somehow just stumbled upon this commentary because "every blog post is somebody's first" (although why Scarab #5 would be somebody's first is beyond comprehension), here's a nice example of "Vertigo phrasing."

It doesn't have to mean anything. It just needs to sound weirdly profound while making the reader feel like a real fucking smarty pants.

Jeff is taken to some Herod-like angel named Lord Colouris. He's also a bit like a cross between John Lennon and Jabba the Hutt. Did I just describe David Crosby? Lord Colouris declares he's going to make a new man out of Jeff and I don't think he means it figuratively. In the middle of the Garden stands the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. It bears the fruit of truth and whispers as skulls pile up beneath it from those feeding on its devastating pronouncements. Also, I sort of agree with what it's saying here:

Ninety-eight percent of this blog is me screaming from the anguish of losing the bliss of nonexistence.

Not that I think I'm evil. Nor do I believe in souls. But that whole anguish over the loss of nonexistence? That hits me fucking hard, bro. Look, it even made me call you bro. I'm hurting here, dude. See? I said dude too! The rest of what the tree says is meaningless gobbledygook. Something about sex tearing the flanks of God and a snake jerking it into a pot of clay like my junior high school classmate Chris Huff beating off in a breadbox. Maybe it makes sense to guilt-ridden Catholics but it's all wasted on me. I'm just wondering if I should do a Google search on a snake ejaculating. I've done it before for bats and let me tell you: there's a great video of a bat at a zoo sucking itself off in front of some kids! Truly a work of art. So privileged to live in this modern age and able to experience such wonders of this world! Lord Colouris turns Jeff into a monstrosity because he's trying to reform the lost souls that wind up in the Garden of Pain into his image before he fell from Heaven. But he can't do it because everybody who enters the Garden is tainted by their boring and uncreative lives. To finally make a work of art equal to his previous state of being, Lord Colouris releases all of his Frankenstein monsters into the world to hunt down a truly innocent and beautiful person who can provide the raw material for Lord Colouris's sculpture. Jeff is now one of them. Being uncreative morons, the monsters raid nurseries all over New York. Idiots. How many babies does it take to create an angel? Probably like millions! Some of the monsters seek out Eleanor because her leaking bodily fluids smell succulent and, I guess, virginal? I don't know. Like I said, she's gross. I hope they take her. Instead of Eleanor, the monsters accidentally take Scarab back to the Garden where he's quickly defeated by Colouris with a tree grown up through his guts. Then Scarab, like a true super hero, remembers that he can't be defeated if he just summons one last burst of strength and hope to overcome his enemy! Which he totally does by biting Lord Colouris's tongue off (because Lord Colouris was doing naughty things to Scarab. So naughty that I was embarrassed to discuss them). Then he punches Colouris in the throat and he barfs up the keys to all of his monsters' souls. Plus the key to his own soul which Monster Jeff helps Scarab find. Scarab recognizes him and thinks, "Fuck. Okay, I guess I'll just have to tell Jeff's mother he's dead." Then Scarab sticks the key in Colouris's head and the Garden dissolves into an empty room with a ticking metronome. That probably makes really smart people go, "Holy fuck! That's fucking brilliant! What a great reference or theory or idea or intelligent bit of philosophical scat!" And, um, that's totally what I said too. I'm not one of those morons who don't understand Vertigo comic books. Pshaw! Can you even believe uncool losers like that exist?! Scarab #5 Rating: You know how many things I had to look up on the Internet while reading this comic book? At least two! Maybe more but even two is a lot! Remember, I first read this in 1993 when most people didn't have Internet (and those that did were spending their time in AOL and Prodigy chat rooms with names like "Horoscope Lovers" and "Remember The A-Team?!"). So that's two things I definitely didn't understand when I read it the first time because you can believe that I was too lazy to pick up a dictionary in the middle of reading a comic book. And that's even assuming that I'm the type of person to own a dictionary! Man, stop embarrassing yourself with your lousy assumptions!

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2019

#102 - All the Birds in the Sky, by Charlie Jane Anders

Mount TBR (66/100)

The Reading Frenzy’s “Bookish Treasure Hunt” Challenge -- A bird in the title or on the cover

Rating: 1/5 stars

All book reviews come with personal bias attached--as much as many reviewers (myself often included) like to think we are working from some hypothetically universal standard of "good" writing, we can't always agree on what those standards are and how to apply them fairly across all books. I say this now, because I'm about to write a negative review for this book, but for once, I recognize that my intense dislike is coming from a deeply personal place, and that my experience with it isn't necessarily a good sign post for whether or not this book is worth reading. I often write bad reviews for books because of things that I don't think other people want to be reading--unchallenged racism, sexism, homophobia, or pedophilia being the big ones, and I stand by those. I will continue to do my part warning people away from books that promote harmful ideologies, whenever I can. That isn't the case here. I can't stand this book because it reminds me too much of how I wrote when I was a teenager, and of all of the people who read my work then and told me how terrible it was. Yeah, it's personal. So, I didn't finish. I read the first hundred pages, and I gave up. I couldn't stand the constant misery, and I mean that quite seriously. Laurence and Patricia don't have much more personality than "I'm so weird and nonconformist that everyone bullies me." Laurence is science-flavored on top of that, Patricia witch-flavored. But they're such thin characters, and they simply can't support a story solely about the two of them without more development. To pile on extra misery, all of the members of both families are also horrible people who also mistreat them in some way. In that sort of environment I'd expect the two of them to become close friends, to be the only spot of good in each other's awful lives--but despite the overall narrative the blurb is trying to sell me, I'm not at all convinced these two are friends at all--they tolerate each other at best, and at worst they spend weeks not speaking to each other--and this setup does not have me confident that they're going to eventually fall in love. I'd be laughing at the reviews that call this book "romantic" if I weren't so disappointed, because I adore real romance, and I don't feel like I'm going to get that here. Let's go back to that science vs. witchcraft characterization. Because at a hundred pages in, I had only just gotten what looked like a plot, rather than chapter upon chapter of "look at how miserable and bullied these two kids are, don't you feel for them?" Theodolphus Rose, master assassin posing as a school counselor, tells Patricia that Laurence is an enemy of nature and must be killed. That's the conflict, and in other circumstances I might be interested--pitting kids against each other isn't new at all, but done well, it can certainly be compelling. Pitting potential romantic partners against each other can be awesome, whatever age group. So I'm not opposed to this basic plot. I am opposed to it taking almost one hundred pages to show up, and I'm opposed to the flimsy world-building that has done nothing to define the relative power of science and witchcraft. At first (in the very first chapter when I still thought I might like this book, it looked like my kind of weird,) I was enchanted by Patricia's magic and her talking to birds and going to the forest to see the Parliament. But there's no rules to anything related to magic, and without any sort of standards or explanations, there's really no upper limit on what magic can do in a story, whereas the real world has definite limits on science. Without the author setting up a system deliberately to make science and magic balanced, I find myself assuming magic can be more powerful (if Patricia ever gets access to it again, if not, this will be a dull story I didn't finish) so magic will obviously win. And that's just not interesting, if there's an obvious winner before the battle is even fought. Now, there are ways to subvert that expectation, and there are ways to move forward from the point where I stopped reading that might result in a better book than I expect it to be. But that low bar I have set in my mind is a result of that slapdash, flimsy world-building that amounts to "this is basically contemporary fiction but I want to put whatever I want into it and call it sci-fi and magical realism at the same time." I don't have a problem with genre-mixing. I'd be a giant hypocrite if I did. But a work doesn't get a free pass on mixing genres sloppily because it's quirky. It's the "quirky" thing that really gets me. I love absurdist humor, and there are elements of it here. Theodolphus' introduction at the mall almost had me laughing, it was so over the top and ridiculous, in just the way I like. I can't take it seriously in context, because it's so off-tone from everything else I read surrounding it, but in isolation it was hilarious and I loved it. For a brief moment, I felt like the author was channeling Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams, and I was on board. But if the whole book is meant to be absurdist, it doesn't go far enough, and absurdity for its own sake is exactly what my teenage writing (yeah, we're back to the personal part) was mocked by my peers for. And occasionally my teachers as well. I was a weird kid. I have no problem admitting that, though I was never bullied anything like Laurence and Patricia are shown to be. I had friends--it's not impossible to be weird and also have friends. I was also often an unhappy kid--teenagerhood was not particularly a good time for me--and writing was a thing I did to cope. I wrote escapist fantasy. I wrote about magic. I wrote about absurdity. I wrote about depression and misery. I wrote things in high school that were very like this story, both in tone and overall quality. The nearly universal response to these stories, when I was brave enough to let my friends read them or turn them in for writing assignments, was basically derision and ridicule. "It's too weird." "I don't get it." "What's the point?" "I don't like how strange it is." "It doesn't make sense." No matter how many times I tried to defend some of the most "weird" pieces by explaining that the absurdity of it was the whole point, the overall reaction was "stop being so childish and write things that make sense." I do, now. I've found ways to channel my love of the absurd in more palatable directions. I've studied my craft and "grown up," so to speak. I take great pains to make my worlds, no matter how "strange" they are, internally consistent and understandable. So here's the incredibly, undeniably personal part that you absolutely shouldn't apply to yourself and whether or not you want to read this book: I am (mildly) professionally envious and angry that this book is so praised when it reads exactly like the stuff I churning out by the notebook-full at fifteen that everyone hated. It stings. I cringed constantly with second-hand embarrassment while I was reading this, as if all of my flaws had come back to haunt me. Thin world-building because I wanted it the way I wanted it and I didn't do the work making it cohesive. Awkward and stilted dialogue. An "me against them" mentality in my main characters. No plot to speak of for ages because I was more interested in making my world weird than having a story take place in it. Objectively speaking--as objectively as possible for me, at this point--I don't think this is a good book, but obviously its weirdness resonates with a lot of people, and you might enjoy it. If you think it sounds good, then maybe for you, it will be. Speaking with extreme and noted bias, this book is bad, and I can't stand it, and I will never finish it and wish I hadn't spent the few hours I already did attempting to read it. I want that time back. **After I spent a solid hour writing, rewriting, and editing this review, I wondered if I should even post it in full. After all, it is highly biased and not particularly applicable to other people in many places. I thought about it a lot. I considered where I could cut the stuff that shouldn't matter to anyone else, the stuff that revealed too much of me, the things that might do more harm than good. But I've always written honest reactions to books, because I think reviews are only useful and helpful when they're honest. So I'm posting the whole thing, because I worked hard putting my thoughts and feelings in order and being up front about my biases. Whether or not this is a helpful, useful review is only part of the point. It was cathartic to write, and if another writer sees this and feels understood, then it's worth it.