#on account of i did not want to deal with it and its associated problems
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jay-catsby · 1 year ago
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i deleted the wholeass post i initially wrote bc i realized the much more interesting story was in the tags. read on for mouse-in-house drama
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kxmpfflieger · 1 year ago
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I wish to be upfront about a few things
Hey gang, let's have a talk about the future of this account.
In truth, I no longer wish to associate myself with the history community, specifically the Great War subsection I've actively participated in for the last (three-ish?) years.
I'm going to be blunt and say that it is because of the people I've come across. This place is a minefield, and every second mine that blows up in your face starts a chain reaction worse than the last. Its terrible. Ive hated it. And my only mistake has been not openly stepping down a year ago like I originally wanted. There's been a LOT of unsavory characters that I have followed and supported unknowingly, and people that I've just encountered out in the wild that just made me sick to my stomach. Despite my better judgement, I've persisted, but I recognise the toll it has taken on my mental health is really not worth any of this.
To add insult to injury, actively being in the history community has made me scared of engaging with other communities in fear of being ousted for the stigma WW/Imperial Germany art can carry in general, and its become a problem the more I've grown tired and fallen out of love with this material.
I wish to branch out, I don't want to be associated with this community anymore because of the shit I've seen and how insensitive and out-of-touch a lot of the people seem to be about such serious subjects.
My relationship with Martyrs is definitely not what it used to be, same goes for the "source material". I wish I could tell you a few bad apples didnt spoil the basket, but they did. In truth, I've lost the love I held for it.
A mix of the rancid experiences I've had with the community this past year, combined with the fact publishing comics as a One Man Team is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone (burnout, impostor syndrome, having to deal with carpal tunnel for the rest of my life now partially because of it, off the top of my head).
I don't want to drop the comic nor the characters I've made, developed and invested myself in for the past two years of my life. I need time to heal my relationship with my art, Martyrs in its entirety, and just broaden my horizons with other fandoms instead of limiting myself to one thing. I will not abandon what I've worked so hard for, but I need time to pull myself back up.
I don't plan on stopping art of the characters entirely. But please be aware that if that was the only content you followed me for, you will have to deal with lots of other unrelated stuff from now on.
Getting myself lost in the absolute minefield this place is (the ww community) is not something I wish to do again. I dont want to be considered a member of it. I want to be an outsider occasionally dropping by. Only surface level stuff with art of my characters and comic, that's it.
I'm grateful for the connections and the wonderful close friends I've made. For all the lovely fan-works and words of love and endorsement I've received. But I need to take better care of myself, and there are very clear and specific steps I need to take to do so. I debated making this post in the first place and just phasing out ww art out slowly overtime, but doing so didnt feel right.
If you wish to unfollow me after this, please go ahead. You're not obligated to stay, nor am I obligated to keep you here. Thank you for sharing this journey with me for the past two years.
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une-sanz-pluis · 4 months ago
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I recently read Esther Cohen's The Modulated Scream: Pain In Late Medieval Culture, which is a study of the various ways pain was represented in treatises on torture, stories of martyrs, saints and mystics, and medical/surgical treatises and more. I read it for fairly obvious reasons which naturally resulted in me having Even More Thoughts On Henry V's face hole.
(n.b. 1) Bradmore's treatise nor the Middle English translation is not discussed by Cohen. 2) I do not have access to a full translation of Bradmore's treatise in modern English nor the Middle English translation, only his case histories.)
John Bradmore's treatise makes little to no mention of pain associated with wounds or pain management, at least as far as it relates to his case histories. The one exception is not Hal's wound but a case of an unnamed London carpenter "careless with his chisel" that left him haemorrhaging. In this case, Bradmore tries a variety of methods to arrest bleeding - first a pressure bandage, then cauterisation and then, seeing no other alternative and that his patient was in danger of dying, he used a "secret corrosive powder". He explains he resorted to this powder last as it is "so furious and harsh that it is most oppressive" to the patient, i.e. painful and possibly life-threatening. S. J. Lang suggests that the reference to pain served two functions - to warn other practitioners of the powder's nature and to explain why he did not use it to begin with.
Bradmore's otherwise lack of reference to his patients' pain is not unusual. Per Cohen, university-trained surgeons "often completely ignored the problem of pain" when they wrote about surgical procedures. Cohen describes a "purely technical instruction" for the removal of an arrowhead that has "no mention of sedation" and concludes that pain alleviation was "applied far more often in cases of illness or wounds" than during surgery.
So, what did that mean for Hal? I want to come back to the question of sedation, so I'm just going to focus on pain management of the wound for the moment.
Bradmore's account deals not just with the surgical removal of the arrowhead but with the management of the wound after. Implied, but not stated directly, is any care he did for Hal before he began enlarging the wound in preparation for the arrowhead's removal - I assume Bradmore spent some time devising his cure before attempting it and it's been suggested (I can't remember who by or find the reference offhand) that Bradmore may have been one of the "divers skilled doctors" who first tended to Hal at Kenilworth and attempted and failed to remove the arrowhead through the use of "potions and other cures" but, when writing his treatise, excluded himself from their number and thus their failure. Bradmore does note, however, that from "from the beginning of the cure to its end", his treatment involved an ointment known as unguentum neruale (or unguentum nervale) placed twice daily on Hal's neck which was then covered with a hot plaster.
Bradmore writes that this part of Hal's treatment was done "because of the fear of spasm, which was my greatest fear". Lang suggests this was a reference to tetanus. Michael Livingston, while not disagreeing with Lang's suggestion, also notes that the arrowhead was "embedded in bone bordering the sixteen-year-old’s brain" and notes the threat of "temporary seizures and even permanent neurological damage", regardless of what part of the brain was potentially affected. In other words, the spasm Bradmore feared may have been neurological, rather than tetanus. Livingston also suggests that the use of the ointment and plaster on the neck might be suggestive of where the arrowhead came to rest:
... the placement of the ointment and hot plaster upon the neck might well indicate that it was indeed at the base of the skull that the point had become lodged.
But let's focus on the ointment itself. Unguentum neruale was made up of "more than twenty herbs, with wax, butter, and some resins" and used for "'chilled nerves and sinews ... and for all cold causes". However, reading through Cohen's section on pain alleviation makes me wonder if it was also intended to have a pain-killing effect because Cohen notes that almost all medieval analgesics (painkillers) were external, used in salves and plasters, or (less commonly) for inhalation or fumigation, rather than being something to be ingested. Thus, unguentum neruale could potentially have been analgesic properties as well as the more treatment-oriented properties of reducing the risk of spasm and warming "chilled nerves and sinews". It does seem that a lot of medieval medicines served multiple purposes so Bradmore's statement that this was used to avert "spasm" doesn't necessarily preclude the possibility that it also had a analgesic effect.
Per Cohen, analgesic unguents could be hot or cold, presumably in the humoral sense, and "surgeons from the learned tradition preferred hot poultices", which would fit in with the description of it being used for "all cold causes". Bradmore also likely ensured that "that no cold air should be allowed near the patient" in his treatment of Hal, as he records on his chapter on spasms (n.b. I do not have a translation of his chapter on spasms).
I don't have access to the full recipe Bradmore to know what herbs were used to compare them against the examples Cohen gives (or to another reference) of plants used for pain alleviation to try and determine whether the herbs used had or were believed to have analgesic or anaesthetic properties.
Bradmore also mentions one other specific ointment used on Hal: unguentum fuscum, made up of resins and gums, which he claimed to use to regenerate the flesh. Lang notes the ingredients would have had a "mildly antiseptic effect" but no effect on regeneration of flesh (or, presumably, skin as Livingston suggests). Neither Lang nor Livingston gives any indication they could have an impact on pain. Again, I don't have the full recipe to try and determine whether some ingredients could have alleviated pain.
Bradmore does not mention using any ointments on or around the wound itself prior to the removal of the arrowhead. The tents he used to enlarge the wound were dipped in rose-honey, which would have kept the wound dry, delayed healing, prevented the tents from sticking inside the wound and had an antibacterial effect. After the removal of the arrowhead, the wound was washed out with white wine which would have had "a powerful, though shortlived, antiseptic effect" according to Lang. Then, for a period of 20 days, Bradmore used tents made of tow fibres with a cleansing medication made from white breadcrumbs, flour, honey and turpentine. The latter two ingredients would have had an antibacterial and antiseptic effect respectively. These tents were probably a precursor to modern wound-packing, which allow a deep wound to heal from the bottom up and mitigate the risk of infection by ensuring fluid and bacteria are not trapped inside the wound that has healed over at the top (i.e. skin level) but not the bottom of the wound.
Purgation, per Cohen, was also used as part of the health regimen and in some cases was believed to have an analgesic effect. This included emetics (inducing vomiting), blood-letting, diuretics, sweat-baths, fumigation and clysters (enemas). Bradmore doesn't make mention of using any of these on Hal but, iirc, he mentions it in another treatment. He may not have included it because purgation was a facet of basic health care that any surgeon would naturally not need prompting to perform and perhaps would be not be uniformly prescribed but tailored to the patient's needs and humours on a day-to-day basis. I suspect emetics were out due to the risk of aggravating the wound. Depending on how much blood Hal lost from the wound and the possibility subsequent blood loss (i.e. during early attempts to remove the arrowhead, when the wound was enlarged or the surgery to remove it), blood-letting may not have been seen as a necessity. If so, Bradmore's preferred methods of purgation would be the use of enemas, diuretics, sweat-baths and fumigations.
But then, what do I know? I'm not a medieval surgeon.
Though Bradmore is silent on Hal's pain, historians have often spoken of the pain Hal would have been in, often framing it as unimaginable or horrific. I have no doubt it was. As I've said before, the location of the wound would mean that even attempting to express that pain vocally or through tears would have likely added to the pain Hal was going through.
Livingston, in a more recent work, suggests Hal was given "ample doses" of Venice Treacle or theriac, "a closely guarded and very expensive concoction of 64 ingredients that included opium among its roots, leaves, barks, herbs, fruits, oils, and various other elements". Neither Cohen nor Lang make reference to Venice Treacle. However, the Middle English translation of Bradmore's treatise, changes Bradmore's recipe for the cleansing medication used during the wound-packing. The translator advised the use populeon instead of turpentine. Populeon was made of poplar buds or leaves, smallage, poppies, henbane, ribwort, brooklime, groundsel, watercress, deadly nightshade, black nightshade, plantain, pennywort, ribwort, tallow, lard and butter. Lang suggests this may have been intended to have a painkilling effect. However, the translator wasn't Bradmore so the use of populeon to manage Hal's pain must be doubted.
In terms of plants used to alleviate pain, Cohen notes that plants like poppy, henbane, crocus, hemlock and mandrake were not analgesic "since they put the person, rather than the pain, to sleep". These were very sparingly used as they "could just as easily kill the patient as anaesthetize the pain of surgery". Opium, due to the expense, "appears only in the writings of surgeons and physicians, but even these avoided it if at all possible". Cohen mentions at 14th century French physician and surgeon, Guy of Chauliac, who was only willing to use these plants when "all other painkillers had failed to arrest and the patient was in danger of dying from the pain". However, in such cases "one must use them only in suppositories for this method was safer than ingestion" and giving patients opium to drink was "even more dangerous". What influence Guy of Chauliac had on Bradmore, if any, and what Bradmore thought of the use of the stupefacients is unknown. But if Hal's wound was aggravated (and the pain was worsened) by the act of opening his mouth and/or swallowing, then using stupefacients in the form of suppositories rather than potions may have been the preference of both Bradmore and his patient.
On one hand, we can assume that Hal had the best medical care that money could buy. The cost of opium was likely no object and Bradmore (and any other surgeon or physician who attended) would have been eager to keep the Prince of Wales and heir to the throne as comfortable as possible. On the other hand, we can also imagine that they were very well aware of the warnings about the use of stupefacients and didn't want to risk accidentally killing the Prince of Wales through the use of a pain alleviating potion or plant that the literature was rife with warnings about.
Let's return to the question of anaesthesia. Some historians have referenced dwale or the use of "a basic anaesthesia, based on plasters of opium, henbane, laudanum or hemlock" (as suggested by Juliet Barker) when discussing Hal's surgery. Cohen notes that the "possibility of total anesthesia does crop up in various sources, but in no clear prescription".
A "soporific sponge" appears in various medical treatises from the ninth century on. In its earliest form, this involved a sea-sponge being soaked in opium, mandrake, henbane, and hemlock that had been ground together and mixed with water, then allowed to dry out. Theoretically, when about to perform surgery, the surgeon would re-moisten the sponge and place it under the patient's nose, where the inhalation of fumes would render the patient unconscious. To wake the patient, the surgeon would switch out the sponge for one soaked in "warm vinegar". However, as Cohen notes, "there is no evidence for any surgeon having used such a sponge". Guy of Chauliac heard of it and its ingredients but didn't have the quantities or recipe and warned against its use. It has been suggested that the sponge was "no more than a literary tradition", and Cohen agrees that its existence is unproven.
If not a sponge, was there another form of anaesthesia that Bradmore could have used? Cohen mentions a "very stubborn tradition" of an anaesthetic drink on the British Isles. In the twelfth century, there was "Letargion" or "the drink of oblivion" - the example Cohen cites is from the vita of St. Kentigern and provides no details of what it was supposed to be made of, much less how it was prepared or used. However, recipes for dwale, which Cohen describes as a "a milder concoction, containing minor quantities of hemlock, poppy, henbane and lettuce mixed with a gallon of wine" appear in several manuscripts, while John Arderne describes an anaesthetic ointment that is similar to the sponge in composition. Presumably, Arderne's ointment was what Juliet Barker was referring to. Cohen seems doubtful that these were anything more than a literary tradition and doubts they were actually used.
Cohen cites drawings of late medieval surgery that depicted surgical patients "tied down, held down by stalwart assistants, and thrashing and screaming with contorted faces" as being suggestive that neither the anaesthetic sponge, drinks nor ointments were effective - or if they were, so rarely used. They may have been a literary tradition. Cohen concludes that "there is no question that surgery under those circumstances were difficult for the surgeon but gravely traumatic for the patient".
As I said, I don't have a full translation of Bradmore's treatise to check for myself but neither Lang nor Livingston make reference to Bradmore including recipes that could have have an anaesthetic function in his treatise. He may have excluded them because, like other physicians, he distrusted them and/or considered the risks too great.
It's tempting to say that the delicacy of the work Bradmore had to do and the status of his patient meant that he was willing to try these unproven methods. But Bradmore must have been aware of the risks expounded by other healers and the potential disaster that awaited should his attempt to anaesthetise Hal result in accidental death. To me, it's the final point that's the deciding one for me. It'd one thing for Hal to have died as a direct result from the wound or during surgery, which would be understood and accepted as a risk and a potential outcome. It'd be another thing altogether for Hal to die because Bradmore used an experimental anaesthesia whose ingredients other physicians had warned about.
(I feel I need to emphasise here that I'm not saying that Henry IV would have chopped off Bradmore's head had Hal died of the result of the use of an experimental anaesthesia. I'm saying it would have had a devastating impact on Bradmore's reputation and career.)
I think the fact that Bradmore doesn't seem to include a recipe for or reference to anaesthesia is suggestive that he may have followed Guy of Chauliac (regardless of whether he knew Guy's work) and seen them as too risky or that Bradmore believed that the soporific sponge, Arderne's ointment or dwale would not work. Having said that and as I keep saying, I don't have access to a full translation of Bradmore's treatise so I could be wrong.
So, just how aware was Hal during the removal process and how did Bradmore prevent movement? Bradmore gives us no answers. I doubt full sedation was sought, much less achieved. I suspect that Bradmore used whatever methods of pain alleviation he had been using, perhaps increasing the dosage a little but still trying to keep it at a safe level. This likely involved an analgesic salve and perhaps a potion or suppository that included the dangerous stupefacients like opium, hemlock, henbane etc. I suspect Bradmore also restrained Hal, through the use of ropes and a "stalwart assistant" to keep him still. One hopes Bradmore was quick but the work must have been delicate and with little margin for error. Bradmore, frustratingly, is silent on the time frame for much of his treatment, including the actual surgery.
Were Bradmore and other surgeons sadists? Probably not. Medieval healers, Cohen says, saw "distinguished between different types of pain". Pain caused or signifying illness "required alleviation" but "pain that was part of the healing process required restraint and fortitude on the part of the patients. The healer was correct in inflicting it". Bradmore's concern in the case of the haemorrhaging carpenter suggests that he employed methods that were less painful in effort to avoid causing the patient more pain than necessary. It is also likely that very real concerns about the dangers of using stupefacients that could kill a patient as easily as sedate them for surgery played a role.
So, in summary:
Like other surgical treatises, Bradmore's makes little reference to pain management or sedation
Bradmore's unguentum neruale possibly may have had painkilling properties as well as the warming effect intended to reduce the risk of Bradmore's greatest fear, "spasm".
Bradmore's care regimen very likely included purgation. I suspect emetics were unlikely due to the risk of aggravating the wound and blood-letting, enemas, fumigation, sweat-baths and diuretics were more likely, though blood-letting was likely sparingly used due to the blood loss Hal would have suffered at various points of his injury and its treatment.
Medieval healers were well-aware of the risks of using stupefacients like opium, henbane, hemlock, mandrake, crocus and used them sparingly. If any of these were used on Hal, this would have been known and the risk attempted to be mitigated.
This might have involved sticking them up in his ass instead of having him drink them.
Total sedation appears to have been a myth and it is unlikely Bradmore had a reliable anaesthetic on hand.
I suspect that Hal was given a safe dose of a stupefacients and restrained for the arrowhead's removal. I don't think he was entirely knocked out for it.
References Mentioned
Juliet Barker, Agincourt: The King, The Campaign, The Battle (Abacus 2015)
Esther Cohen, The Modulated Scream: Pain In Late Medieval Culture (University of Chicago Press 2003)
S. J. Lang, The Philomena of John Bradmore and its Middle English derivative: a perspective on surgery in late Medieval England (PhD thesis, University of St Andrews, 1998) (this includes translations of Bradmore's case histories)
Michael Livingston, ‘“The Depth of Six Inches”: Prince Hal’s Head- Wound at the Battle of Shrewsbury’, Wounds and Wound Repair in Medieval Culture, ed. Larissa Tracy and Kelly DeVries (Brill 2015)
Michael Livingston, Agincourt: Battle of the Scarred King (Osprey 2023)
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reasoningdaily · 1 year ago
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The Associated Press: 22 attorneys general oppose 3M settlement over water systems contamination with 'forever chemicals'
TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. (AP) — Twenty-two attorneys general urged a federal court Wednesday to reject a proposed $10.3 billion settlement over contamination of U.S. public drinking water systems with potentially dangerous chemicals, saying it lets manufacturer 3M Co. off too easily.
The deal announced in June doesn’t give individual water suppliers enough time to determine how much money they would get and whether it would cover their costs of removing the compounds known collectively as PFAS, said the officials with 19 states, Washington, D.C., and two territories. In some cases the agreement could shift liability from the company to providers, they said.
“While I appreciate the effort that went into it, the proposed settlement in its current form does not adequately account for the pernicious damage that 3M has done in so many of our communities,” said California Attorney General Rob Bonta, leader of the multistate coalition.
3M spokesman Sean Lynch said the agreement “will benefit U.S.-based public water systems nationwide that provide drinking water to a vast majority of Americans” without further litigation.
“It is not unusual for there to be objections regarding significant settlement agreements,” Lynch said. “We will continue to work cooperatively to address questions about the terms of the resolution.”
The company, based in St. Paul, Minnesota, manufactures per- and polyfluorinated substances — a broad class of chemicals used in nonstick, water- and grease-resistant products such as clothing and cookware, as well as some firefighting foams.
Described as “forever chemicals” because they don’t degrade naturally in the environment, PFAS have been linked to a variety of health problems, including liver and immune-system damage and some cancers.
3M has said it plans to stop making them by the end of 2025.
Some 300 communities have sued 3M and other companies over water pollution from the compounds. A number of states, airports, firefighter training facilities and private well owners also have pending cases.
They have been consolidated in U.S. District Court in Charleston, South Carolina, where the proposed settlement was filed last month.
Although the company put its value at $10.3 billion, an attorney for the water providers said it could reach as high as $12.5 billion, depending on how many detect PFAS during testing the Environmental Protection Agency has ordered over the next three years.
The law firm representing the water providers did not immediately respond Wednesday to messages seeking comment.
EPA in March proposed strict limits on two common types, PFOA and PFOS, and said it wanted to regulate four others.
In addition to California, states urging Judge Richard Gergel to reject the deal included Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont and Wisconsin. Also opposed were Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico and the Northern Mariana Islands.
In a court filing, the attorneys general said it would force nearly all public water providers nationwide to participate unless they withdraw individually — even those that haven’t filed suits or tested for PFAS.
“Troublingly, they would have to make their opt-out decisions without knowing how much they would actually receive and, in many cases, before knowing the extent of contamination in their water supplies and the cost of remediating it,” the officials said in a statement.
A provision in the proposed deal would shift liability from 3M to water suppliers that don’t opt out, the statement said. That could enable the company to seek compensation from providers if sued over cancer or other illnesses in PFAS-affected communities, it said.
“As such, the proposed settlement is worth far less than the advertised $10.5 billion to $12.5 billion,” the attorneys general said.
The attorneys general did not take a position on a separate $1.18 billion deal to resolve PFAS complaints against DuPont de Nemours Inc. and spinoffs Chemours Co. and Corteva Inc.
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mariacallous · 1 year ago
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“I just want to sell titty pictures,” says Allie Eve Knox, a professional dominatrix and fetish performer, exhausted. “I never wanted to be an expert in financial discrimination.”
After starting out in sex work in 2014, Knox, like others in the field, has become something of a financial pariah. The first to ban her were the payment apps—PayPal, Venmo, and CashApp—which prohibit the sale of adult content as policy. But then Knox lost her bank account too. It took a week to recover her money.
Nine years on and 30-plus bans later, Knox is jaded: “I don’t want to have to know how to run money to different places. I don’t want to deal with any of this bullshit.”
An ICU nurse by training, Allie Rae, another US-based sex worker, began posting on OnlyFans when her husband was furloughed. Before long, she was earning far more selling adult content online—close to $500,000 per month—than she was in her regular job. But like Knox, she quickly ran into trouble.
When word of her side hustle spread through the ward, Rae lost her job. But she also found that realtors wouldn’t deal with her, lenders refused her a mortgage, and accountants snubbed her. Rae set up a company through which to manage her income, but no major bank would give her a business account. “Left and right, it’s been a struggle,” she says. “I was very naive—I didn’t understand the magnitude of the discrimination.”
The experience of Knox and Rae is typical of sex workers across the globe, but particularly in the US, where banks and payment processors shy away from the adult industry. The reason is almost never made clear, but sex workers suspect that financial institutions fear reputational damage and liability for the facilitation of money laundering or sex trafficking. Data published in May by the Free Speech Coalition (FSC), a US trade association for the adult industry, suggests two-thirds of sex workers have lost access to either a bank account or financial service, while 40 percent have had an account closed within the past year.
Faced with this predicament, sex workers have gone in search of an alternative means of both storing wealth and accepting payment. In cryptocurrency, for a time, it appeared they had found one: Not only did crypto allow clients to pay discreetly, without supplying personal information, but it gave sex workers a way to bypass the banking system entirely, by taking payments directly to their crypto wallets.
But as regulatory scrutiny of cryptocurrency ratchets up in response to the fallout of the collapse of crypto exchange FTX, sex workers are bumping up against its limitations. They are finding that, in a few important ways, crypto is no more detached from the banking system than the dollar it was built to some day replace.
In the US, full-service sex work (also known as prostitution) is illegal in every state but Nevada, but pornography and online sex work are legal under the First Amendment. Irrespective of this distinction, banking access has been a problem for the entire sex work community since at least the 1960s, says Mike Stabile, director of public affairs at the FSC, and has only become more acute.
The issue was exacerbated a decade ago by a program launched by the Obama administration, under which banks were warned that a collection of industries posed an “elevated risk” of fraud, including pornography. Now known as Operation Chokepoint, the initiative was found by investigators not to have constituted a deliberate attempt to disrupt disfavored businesses, but is nonetheless said to have led banks to sever ties with the adult sector.
In 2018, the Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) and the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA) followed. The bills were supposed to make it easier to hold to account platforms that allegedly facilitate trafficking, like Backpage.com, which was seized by the FBI. But the online classifieds site—and others, since voluntarily closed—were also popular venues for advertising legal sex services, as well as sharing information about new clients for safety purposes. The bills had the triple effect, then, of clipping sex workers’ income, increasing risk, and making the banks even more squeamish, members of the industry say.
Because the adult industry has historically been fairly small—and the Christian anti-porn lobby has been dogged—its advocates have made little imprint in Washington, DC. But the arrival of platforms like OnlyFans, which grew substantially during the pandemic, has shone a new light on the banking issue. The industry “went from 2,000 people shooting adult content in San Fernando Valley to millions of people,” says Stabile. “Suddenly, there was a far larger number experiencing [the closure of bank accounts and other financial services].”
When banks close the accounts of sex workers, they rarely give a clear justification. In one letter delivered by Wells Fargo to porn actor Alana Evans, president of the Adult Performance Artists Guild (APAG), the bank wrote that the account, opened in the mid-1990s, would be closed as part of “ongoing reviews” related to its responsibility to “manage risks.” The decision, the letter said, was final. Wells Fargo declined to comment.
The personal and social consequences of a lack of access to banking and payments services for sex workers range from the mundane—an inability to use Venmo to split the bill at a restaurant—to the potentially existential: the failure to meet medical fees or rent, say.
It also means they are beholden from a commercial perspective to platforms like OnlyFans and Fansly, which handle payouts but take a sizable chunk of earnings. Because of the deterioration of their own relationships with the banks, these platforms are sometimes unreliable too. (In 2021, OnlyFans announced a ban on sexually explicit content, under pressure from banking partners to clean up, before reversing course five days later.)
In the worst possible cases, though, a lack of access to financial services creates dangerous power dynamics, whereby sex workers must rely on a friend or spouse to act as the custodian of their wealth, exposing them to risk of abuse.
“One of the ways traffickers control victims is by controlling their finances,” says Jessica Van Meir, founder of MintStars, an adult-friendly NFT subscription platform, and a PhD candidate at Harvard specializing in women's informal labor. “The irony is that banks exclude sex workers largely for fear of liability for sex trafficking, but by discriminating against sex workers, they put them at higher risk of sex trafficking.”
Even if the friend or spouse is well-meaning, says Stabile, “you’re handing someone else control of your financial life—and that’s tremendously dangerous.”
The idea that crypto might be used to address these issues was intuitive to sex workers from early on. Provided they could navigate the technical frictions associated with receiving crypto payments and managing a crypto wallet, they could transact with clients directly, bypassing both the hostile banking system and the fees levied by large platforms. The irreversible nature of crypto transactions, meanwhile, protected against another common problem: chargebacks, a process whereby a payment is rescinded after a dispute is raised by a client with their card provider, often without cause and after material has already been received.
Knox began to accept crypto in 2014, only five years after bitcoin, the first cryptocurrency, was created. Whenever she was performing in a live cam room, Knox took to holding up a QR code through which people could tip her in crypto.
Liara Roux, who began working as an escort roughly a decade ago, before later moving into pornography, began to accept crypto payments in 2015 at the request of clients. Initially, she would cash out into dollars immediately, but when SESTA and FOSTA came into effect—after which many adult-friendly advertising sites could no longer accept regular money—she began to pay for ads with crypto too. “By and large, crypto is useful for people that aren’t being taken care of properly by the government,” says Roux. “For sex workers, who aren’t well-served by banks, it becomes a useful option.”
Others were pushed toward crypto by external events. For Rae, it was OnlyFans’ flirtation with a ban on adult content. For some, it was a block imposed by Mastercard and Visa on Pornhub, one of the world’s largest porn websites, in 2020, following a New York Times investigation that found it to be “infested with rape videos.” Data collected by Sex Work CEO, an online portal featuring resources for sex workers, suggests at least a third of sex workers now accept crypto payments.
But for all crypto’s promise as a means of dancing around the banking system, sex workers are finding the limits of its utility: Although sending and receiving crypto payments is relatively simple, converting it into dollars is sometimes not.
The typical method is to transfer crypto to an exchange, where earnings are converted into regular money, which is then withdrawn to a bank account (assuming it hasn’t been closed). But sex workers are sometimes banned from crypto exchanges too, albeit less frequently, leaving them stranded with a form of money they cannot use to pay rent or buy goods.
“You get on an exchange for as long as you can, until they shut your ass down,” says Knox. “You quickly [run out of exchanges], so you sit on a lot of useless money. The whole ‘crypto is permissionless and censorship-resistant’ thing is a bunch of bullshit.” (Knox suspects she has ended up on a blacklist at Plaid, a provider of technology plumbing to large crypto exchanges like Gemini, Kraken, and Robinhood, leading to the repeated bans. Freya Petersen, spokesperson for Plaid, says no such list exists, but that all firms that wish to use its services are subject to a standard risk assessment process, factoring in the industry in which they operate.)
Meanwhile, banks’ increasing unwillingness to work with crypto-related businesses is causing problems for firms trying to make it easier for sex workers to interface with the crypto world.
In February, SpankChain (a company to which Knox is an advisor) was forced to close its SpankPay service, which made it easy for creators to convert crypto into regular money, after payment processing firm Wyre terminated a partnership. The justification was that SpankChain had violated the terms of another company with which Wyre partnered, Checkout.com, which has tried to distance itself from the porn business.
WetSpace, a crypto-centric alternative to OnlyFans established by Rae, searched for months to find a bank willing to provide a business account, but was repeatedly rejected because of its ties to both the adult and crypto industries. “It was a double whammy,” says Rae. “We spoke to every dang bank there is.” Eventually, after appealing directly to the board of one bank, WetSpace managed to secure an account, but months later received a notice suggesting that support may soon be rescinded. The company is “riding on borrowed time,” explains Rae.
Without a banking partner, crypto firms cannot accept dollar deposits in return for services, or manage the conversion of crypto to dollars for clients, or pay their employees and vendors—they cannot function. The viability of the plan to develop a parallel financial system free of intermediaries is dependent, therefore, on a rapidly disintegrating truce with those same intermediaries: the banks and payments firms. For sex workers, as long as crypto cannot be used to pay for goods and services, its usefulness will remain limited, because it can be thwarted at the junction with conventional finance.
The efforts of sex work advocates are better invested, says Stabile, in campaigning for new laws that would make it illegal for banks to discriminate against sex workers on the basis of their profession, than in developing an alternative financial system. “The first step is banking stability,” he says.
There is broad sympathy for businesses facing banking access issues on both sides of the aisle, explains Stabile, who spent time in May meeting with members of the US Congress. The political right is concerned with the de-banking of gun manufacturers and oil companies, and the left with the treatment of cannabis businesses and marginalized workers. Lobbying groups like the FSC hope to capitalize on this accord, a rarity on Capitol Hill, to the benefit of the adult industry, even if legislation specific to the plight of sex workers is “too great a political hill right now.”
The biggest hurdle, explains Stabile, is the “snail’s pace” at which Congress moves. In April, Democratic Senator Jeff Merkley introduced the SAFE Banking Act, which calls for mandatory provision of banking services to legal cannabis businesses. In July, the Fair Access to Banking Act was tabled by Republican Senator Kevin Cramer, with the aim of penalizing banks that refuse to do business with law-abiding citizens. Neither bill has progressed beyond the point of initial introduction.
In the absence of real legislative progress, the adult industry will continue to exist “like a weed,” says Stabile, growing in “the cracks and hostile conditions that other businesses would never survive in, because it has to.” In crypto, sex workers found a temporary means of survival, but one whose billing as a permanent remedy proved to be inaccurate.
“Some sex workers might see crypto as a form of financial liberation,” says Van Meir. “But the majority probably just see it as a necessary evil—one among the few options they have left.”
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jjdoggies · 8 months ago
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What did tori do
Hi Anon!
So basically, because I don't want to get into tons of detail about it (at least rn, bc its been a while since I've had to talk about her) but to be brief about it. 'Tori' was the name of someone I used to be friends with online (namely on Tumblr Discord, and Ao3) for about 18 months or so, from about August 2020 to March 2022. 'Tori' was the name they used FYI, I know that they've changed it on their online profiles since then and it isn't her actual name.
Anyway, so around like October of 2021, one of my other friends started having some bad, personal problems with 'Tori' which allowed 'Tori' to lie and manipulate everyone in the Discord servers with her about what was going on with my friend and about some made up conflict that my friend (Actually my bestie 😘 I should add) supposedly created towards her. And anytime I, or someone else, tried to ask 'Tori' about what was going on or why my bestie wasn't on the server and 'Tori' would give all kinds of excuses and lies about what was going on between them but specifically with 'Tori' herself or her family.
So, between October 2021 and March 2022, there was more and more erratic and unexplained behavior from 'Tori' towards everyone and about nearly any topic, not just things relating to my bestie and their problems. And again, any time someone tried to ask what was going on with 'Tori' specifically tried to check in with her as a friend more than anything because for a while this hadn't been normal behavior for her. It all worsened drastically over the 5 ish months and eventually, after talking with some of my other friends that had been on the server with me, 'Tori', and my bestie about what was going on and we'd talked to some people had only been in a larger server with us (and many others) about their issues with 'Tori' and what she'd done/said to them in private, over Discord or Tumblr DMs specifically.
After I'd talked it over with my actual friends for about a month, so most of February and March of 2022, I left the smaller server she owned that our kind of friend group had used, I blocked her on all socials that I knew of (but I know she has more because she's told me and others that she makes tons of social media accounts), and added tags and a note in my profile to my Ao3 account (since this was right before/around when Ao3 introduced the account blocking system) telling her to not interact with my account there since I only have and only use one Ao3 account (unlike her). She obviously noticed the things that I had done since I no longer wanted to associate with, let alone talk to, her and went to the mods in the larger server we were both in for a fandom-specific ship and told them about it which created a 'larger, public issue' that they (the mods) felt like they had the right to deal with. Which honestly was just 'Tori' trying to manipulate other people into doing what she wanted them to because she's far too much of a coward to actually handle any conflict herself.
There's honestly a lot more to this but I don't have time at this moment to go into all of the batshit things she did to mostly my friends, because like 95% of it wasn't towards me.
TL: DR - 'Tori' was a person I was friends with online, but after 18 months of knowing her, it turned out she was a narcissistic, lying, crazy manipulator who can't take 'no' for an answer and refuses to learn boundaries.
(Got into a lot more detail than I'd intended but oh well lol.)
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hakesbros · 2 years ago
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New Development Homes For Sale
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Yet prices in Fresno shot up easily 100k in a yr on homes that had been solely going up 10k a yr. It’s absolutely not the time to purchase something in Fresno. With tech layoffs and the entire Bay Area transplant wfh folks… perhaps homes for sale in albuquerque nm you’ll find a deal here. As someone born and raised in Fresno who follows the housing market right here on regular basis, there aren't any offers to be discovered currently in Fresno.
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OK, so heres your dose of deluded optimism then. I can’t assist but wonder if higher mortgage charges and still-too-high prices will present help for much cheaper markets as investor exercise shifts away from wildly overpriced markets . Maybe work-from-home is right here to stay if only as a outcome of nobody can afford the Bay Area anymore. Are you looking homes for sale albuquerque for a model new home for the model new year? Check out this week's roundup of homes for sale within the Albuquerque area, including a few three-bedroom, one-bathroom houses, and a four-bedroom, two-bathroom home. Want to face out among the many sea of average actual estate agents?
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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago
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AU where the DickKory wedding doesn’t happen as planned like in the comics, but here its because their friends, instead of just gossipping to each other about ‘what Dick did’ and how this is a mistake because he’s just trying to prove something and Kory’s just going along with it because she was shaken up by what happened too and kinda feels a need to feel/see it proven by him....
And instead, the other Titans (specifically looking at Wally, Roy, Garth and Donna, seeing as how those were the four who had plenty to say to EACH OTHER about their concerns but without any - except for Donna to Kory, and I maintain it wasn’t exactly the RIGHT thing to say - actually saying it TO them)....
No, instead here, they sit Dick and Kory down and ask why they’re really doing this and what's it all actually for, and when it comes out that Dick literally proposed in the heat of an argument about trying to convince Kory he never would have slept with Mirage if he’d known she wasn’t Kory, that she’s the only one he wants to be with and he was just desperate for her to believe it....well FINALLY this clusterfuck of chuckleheads pulls their heads out of their collective keister and starts looking at how FUCKED UP Dick is over all of this, and thinks back to the many, MANY times and ways he’s clearly displayed feelings of being deeply violated by what happened and how he was tricked, manipulated, didn’t want any of this, etc, etc. 
And because they’re actually superheroes who are familiar with victims of all kinds and not dumbasses who are so quick to blame the lifelong friend noted specifically by everyone who meets him for his enduring LOYALTY at all times, in all cases - in fact, how often do these very same people give Dick shit about being TOO loyal to people even when they don’t deserve it, like when has an ability to commit EVER been this man’s problem, like who are you even talking to here - and like.....they finally get their heads on straight and go hang on, let’s take a beat. I feel like we maybe rushed to judgment and didn’t totally think through what happened here and now we’re thinking it sounds a lot more like rape which means Dick did nothing wrong and has nothing to prove and Kory can reaffirm what she’s always believed and only had shaken for a time, that Dick’s love for her is real and honest.
And they can then without any hurt feelings or implications as to the longterm viability of their relationship, call the wedding off as they recognize the proposal for what it actually WAS, aka part of Dick’s literal ongoing trauma response as he tried to reconcile his deep-down knowledge that he was a victim here, he’d been victimized, violated and betrayed by someone he had trusted to be a teammate, not unlike other times he’s been betrayed by people like Terra or had to feel the visceral feelings of betrayal even when it wasn’t their fault, like more recently when it was a possessed Joey who was mocking Dick while holding him captive and then y’know, getting murdered right in front of him, and Dick is very much not OKAY because of all of this. 
Because its all hitting him in places where he is PARTICULARLY vulnerable because of parallel experiences he can’t help but associate with betrayal and manipulation and the subsequent experiences/feelings of being turned on and blamed by his friends for what he feels then is his responsibility to take sole accountability for, so all of this is very familiar, hits right to the bone of a lot of Dick’s core issues, and this time it just happens to all be compounded by the betrayal/victimization being deeply personal in a way none of the prior situations were, as well as being compounded by how nobody else seemed to even recognize he’d BEEN a victim.
And then by focusing on THAT instead of just gossipping about the SYMPTOM of his not being okay that was his shotgun proposal - which they all literally agreed only happened because Dick wasn’t okay - Dick and Kory can just mutually agree that they aren’t actually ready to get married, something both of them actually were very aware of and just trying to pretend otherwise, but they can further agree that its not a BAD thing they’re not ready to get married, it doesn’t mean they’ll NEVER be in the right place to get married, that this just isn’t it. Them not being actually ready to get married here and now, that has nothing to do with their RELATIONSHIP and everything in the world to do just with the specific reasons the proposal even happened, and their feelings and what they hoped to prove/be convinced of because of all that.
Meaning they then take a step back, Dick can get the help he needs with the support of Kory and his friends, and at some future point in his recovery, he and Kory can shift their focus back onto their relationship, mutually, leading to them eventually reaching the stage where they ARE ready to get married and one of them proposes to the other for the actual right reasons (which are really just, hey I love you and I want to marry you, its exactly that deep) and then they do get married and eventually start a family and things are still dramatic and chaotic and superhero-y but DUH, that’s because they’re SUPERHEROES, but they can still have a happy, healthy family life, the Kents do it all the damn time, and so can they....in this case they literally just needed a little help from their friends, so AU where that’s what they give them for their wedding gift. A ‘hey, call off your damn wedding,’ share circle.
Bonus points of course are that if the wedding never happens, DarkSide!Raven is left waiting in the wings and never gets her dramatic entrance moment to be like “Why yes, I object!” and so she misses her window and Kory and Dick are from that point on so surrounded by friends she never gets a good opening to possess Kory with the demon seed, so Kory never has to deal with ANY of that nonsense, because the LAST thing either Kory, Dick or their relationship needs to deal with, is MORE possession/brainwashing/mind control bullshit. Like enough already. They more than filled their quota. Let another happy couple dabble in the Being Possessed or Mind Controlled field for a change. Dick and Kory are MORE than happy to share. They aren’t going for a monopoly here.
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gofancyninjaworld · 2 years ago
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Perhaps I’m being optimistic, but I feel that the idea that OPM might be ending after this fight does not align with its parody themes. In manga like Dragon Ball the enemies are always stronger than the previous one, each fight requires new skills or power ups to survive, and the stakes keep getting higher (last time I checked they had an interdimensional tournament), only for things to return to “normal” when the fight is over. Western comic books do the same.
Something I've come to realise is why One-Punch Man is classified as a seinen despite borrowing the wardrobe of a shonen series is its focus.
In One-Punch Man, the problems aren't how to acquire what you want, nor how to deal with ever-increasing stakes. It's how to live with your ambitions and conflicts.
There will be no NORMAL. There will be a new status quo, one where everyone still living has to deal with the fallout. Even if no one we know dies, they have a lot to live with.
Beefcake was the parable that set the stage. He dreamed of becoming the strongest man. His brother dreamed of being the chemist to invent the perfect anabolic solution. They both achieved their dreams. And they were both killed in quick and grisly order.
Weeks later (because it's not until after the Vaccineman incident that King is appointed a hero), Cities B and D are still under reconstruction which isn't going well, the Hero Association has come in for some heavy criticism on account of it, and it's an important reason for their trying to be more proactive. Which is an important plot point.
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Even in his earlier work Makai no Ossan where it turns out that many monsters can resurrect themselves, they don't put themselves back together perfectly:
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A more OPM-specific one. After Phoenixman resurrects them, the scars on the ninjas are very much in evidence:
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Even if Garou were to decide that the best payback he could give to God would be to use his powers to heal everyone, they won't go back the way the did. Critically, they won't NOT HAVE SUFFERED WHAT THEY DID.
I'm pretty sure that the world isn't going to be destroyed and that Saitama is probably going to beat God in one punch. He'll have rediscovered his emotions and met a powerful enemy he can destroy in one punch. Just like he said he always wanted to.
Now what? What's going to be the fallout? How's he going to live with himself?
That's what's interesting.
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softluci · 3 years ago
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hello yes can i just say i l o v e d your gen z hcs and may i acquire more
for starters, i am not religious, but i am PRAYING you don’t think i was ignoring your ask. i’ve been thinking about it since i got it, it’s just that i’m a college student with worms for brains, so hopefully you understand. this is something that i’ve had on my mind for a long time [i’ve been at this on and off for months], and it most definitely can be associated with/attributed to gen z. 
for a fleeting, wonderful period of time, there was a trend on tiktok that went, “buss it, buss it…” are you familiar? 
that should be enough of a summary, right? ah—for future reference, “o7” is like a saluting emote, for anyone who might not know. reader is g/n as usual, enjoy!
[a/n: so because this is so long, this part is going to be, like, the lore, and then the actual headcanons will be right here]
trendy 
the two things most corrosive to the human spirit are easily named—capitalism and boredom. while it would be easier and less taxing to explain the former, the latter was the problem at hand. it’s not that there was nothing to do in the devildom—quite the opposite, actually—it was just that you wanted some time to yourself every now and again. the trouble with trying to take time for yourself in a completely new location, the residents of which are always enamored with you in one way or another, is that there isn’t anything to do. the house was full of adventures for you to take—the trap door under the rug in the library, the other trap door under the dining room table, the small door behind the couch in the living room, and whatever other poorly hidden doors your seven roommates thought you didn’t know about. 
trouble was, you didn’t want to leave your room. you, intelligent creature that you are, knew that the chances of you running into mammon or satan or beel or asmo were all too high, and even higher were the chances of you agreeing to spend time with them if they asked, and you knew they would. what were you to do? 
you stared at your ceiling from your bed, d.d.d. resting on your stomach as you let your mind wander. your d.d.d. was full of things for you to do, the devildom’s ethernet at your fingertips, but you weren’t interested in finding new things right now. you wanted something familiar, like—like your phone. 
what was the point of lucifer taking your phone, anyway? it’s not like you could use it—being here rendered it a useless brick of glass and metal, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal if you still had it. it was funny, though, that you couldn’t use your actual phone when it was still possible to access the human internet from down here. 
at least, you assumed so. 
how else would levi be able to keep up with his human idols, get tickets for their shows—the works, you know? luckily, you were fully capable of asking. 
d.d.d. now in your hand, you rolled onto your stomach and found your messages with levi, nails clacking against the glass as you tried to reach him.
hey, you texted, can you help me with something?
his reply came faster than you expected: ?? what do you need 
how do i access human websites and apps, you asked, rolling onto your side. you know how to, right?
lololol, it’s not possible :p
a grunt, more aggravated than you’d care to admit, escaped from the back of your throat.
don’t lie. 
a few minutes passed with no response, and you wondered if you were too harsh. 
“he’s a sensitive guy,” you mumbled, inhaling deeply. “i probably came on too strong or something.” 
just as you started typing out an apology and a, “forget i ever said anything,” you got a response. 
a vpn and a proxy site. 
a smile crept onto your face as air came out of your nose, the closest thing to a laugh you could muster. 
can you set it up for me? 
after another few minutes of no response, you sit up, wondering how you could’ve possibly fucked up a second time, your d.d.d. buzzed. 
levi sent you a file and a link, with a host of instructions. 
click on the file and it’ll take you to the vpn you need to download. don’t worry about bugs or anything, i made it myself. 
you let out a low whistle, flopping onto your back once more. 
“this guy gets up to more than i thought,” you said, eyebrows raised. “someone get this man some physical affection.” 
you continued to read, growing more fond of him with each sentence.
once you install it, pick the country whose network you want access to. from there, you’ll have a list of that country’s most used applications available for you. again, don’t worry about bugs. 
what’s the link for? you asked, excitement getting the better of you. 
for when you download internet applications. it’s added security, paste the link in before you search anything or you’ll trigger the firewall alarm. 
you blinked. 
you’ll trigger the what? 
i’ll trigger the fucking What? 
levi’s response was the fastest one yet: the Fucking Firewall Alarm. barbatos’ design. he has no idea i know how to bypass it. just do what i said. don’t try to solve any potential issues on your own, come to me for everything.
roger that o7, you replied, thanks levi ^_^
yeah, yeah. come to my room for a hxh binge tomorrow night.
you snorted. what a fucking nerd—in the greatest way possible. 
of course bestie :] ily
ily2 normie -_- 
in his room, unbeknownst to you, levi felt like he made a mistake of some kind. it’s not that he didn’t trust you, it’s just that you had a tendency to end up in undesirable situations, even if it wasn’t always on purpose. he was probably just worried over nothing, or so he tried to tell himself, but whatever. this isn’t even about him.
you sat up once more, this time leaning against your pillows as you started setting everything up. everything went so quickly that you barely wondered if all of this—subverting hell’s firewall, personally designed by a man eerily similar to a 2D crush from when you were in middle school—was worth accessing a few silly apps from the human world. 
a few minutes later, your d.d.d. now a much, much cooler copy of your phone, any and all thoughts of regret and hesitation were absent from your mind. 
your first order of business on your upgraded d.d.d. was logging into your tiktok account, however surprising it was that you even remembered the password. you put your headphones in and adjusted your volume, going back into the dumpster fire that is your for-you page with open arms. 
after around half an hour of stifled laughter and small, offended gasps from being targeted by the algorithm, you came across a rare dancing video. the person on your screen was in casual clothes, making minor, silly dance movements as the music dwindled, only for them to drop into a squat in time with the music, suddenly dolled up. you shot forward, taken aback by their transformation and by their dancing post beat drop. did you watch it on a loop for a few minutes? well, that’s nobody’s business but yours. you clicked on the sound in hopes of finding similar videos, and much to your relief, there were plenty. about ten videos in, a smile still on your face, you got an idea. 
you slipped your headphones out, arbitrarily looking around your room, before whispering to yourself, “i could—i could do that. i could totally do that.” 
and you were right. you had nice clothes and makeup from various shopping occasions with asmo. your room had led strips, courtesy of levi ordering the wrong ones and being so kind as to give them to you. you could do it. 
levi was the only person you’d spoken to since you retreated to your room a few hours ago, and the lights have been off the entire time, which meant that if you worked quietly enough, everyone else had reason enough to assume you were asleep. good! how could you possibly explain what you were doing getting all dolled up at, like, 11:00 on a wednesday night? you couldn’t, even a little bit—not in a way that convinced anyone, anyway. 
come midnight, you were sitting cross legged on your bed, watching your final product. not to be vain or anything, but you were looking very respectfully at yourself. since when could you move like that, anyway? the wonders of being alone, you supposed. 
you didn’t post it publicly, electing to save it as a draft just so it would save to your d.d.d. maybe you’d post it once you were back in the human world, when your friends wouldn’t swarm your comments asking where the fuck you were. 
yeah, lucifer told you, “everything was taken care of,” but regardless of whether or not you believed him, you knew it wasn’t a good idea to risk finding out if he missed something. 
boredom creeping up on you again, you elected to go through the messages on your d.d.d. it would be better to make yourself laugh before you were fully bored again, right? you stood up and stretched, opening the group text with the adults. luke doesn’t know about it; he thinks the one with everyone is the main one, and everyone lets him think that so he feels included. 
walking around your room in small circles, you scrolled up to the older conversations and read through them, rolling your eyes and chuckling to yourself. very rarely did they talk about anything of importance. it was mostly diavolo, barbatos, and simeon making quips and jokes at lucifer’s expense for everyone to see. it was gold in its purest form. 
you contemplated sending one of the many cursed things sitting in your camera roll, just to keep them on their toes, but just after opening your gallery, you resigned not to, figuring it would be best to leave him alone. 
you stretched again, the hold on your d.d.d. a bit looser this time. it nearly slipped out of your hands, but you caught it, tossing it onto your bed. as soon as you resigned to start getting ready for bed, you turned back around and picked it up. 
there was no rhyme or reason to your actions; if someone in that moment were to ask you why you did it, you would’ve said, “just ‘cause.”
human intuition is a wonderful thing.
your d.d.d. was still on, still open to the group chat. you’d sent something, evidently a second ago, as indicated by the time stamp. the thumbnail was of you, in casual clothing—the casual clothing you were wearing before you got dolled up, actually. huh. 
huh. 
the weight of your mistake came crashing down on you in full force, a chill sinking into your skin and running up your spine.
you were suddenly acutely aware of the concept of time, how it was of the essence and you had absolutely none to waste.
what were you to do? it wouldn’t be long before your favorite person saw it. you had to do something. 
you could say nothing. you could tell the truth and say it was an accident and that you were embarrassed, but that was even worse than saying nothing because it meant you were set to be the target of teasing you didn’t even wanna try to imagine. you could say it was an accident and be confident about it, telling them, “enjoy!” but that was a dangerous game to play, and you knew it. 
well, i do admire you for taking time to think, but, unfortunately, there was a checkmark next to your message. oh, a number as well—eleven. you just can’t catch a break. what were they all doing up at this time, anyway? it was a school night🤨. 
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mariacallous · 2 years ago
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It’s getting difficult to determine which one among Pakistan’s myriad crises will finally engulf the country. Inflation is hitting historic highs, unemployment is pushing young men into the ranks of extremists, the military is torn between its loyalty to the state and the terrorists it helped create, and leading politicians are engaged in a battle for mutual destruction. The reality is that Pakistan is fighting for its survival.
It’s been dubbed one of the most dangerous countries in the world so often that when U.S. President Joe Biden repeated the epithet in October, he seemed to simply be stating the obvious. The Pakistani Army aims to drive out terrorists that were driven out a decade ago. The government is raising loans to pay interest on loans it took out earlier to pay interest on previous loans. The country’s politics, meanwhile, make its fiscal management look responsible. Pakistan is nuclear-armed, teetering on bankruptcy, and running low on hope that countries it calls friends will save it from itself.
“The biggest crisis Pakistan is facing right now is the credibility crisis,” said journalist and analyst Asad Ali Toor. “People have lost faith in all the institutions and important offices of state.”
In the midst of perpetual chaos, there is, apparently, one thing the fractious political class can agree on—the need for a radical change of policy for dealing with militant Islam, the latest threat to the Pakistani state. They just can’t agree on how. 
The main threat comes from the Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan (TTP), affiliated with groups like al Qaeda and its Afghan Taliban acolytes who returned to power in Kabul a year and a half ago. The TTP is based across the border and armed with weapons left behind by the retreating U.S. military in August 2021. A TTP attack in Peshawar on Jan. 30 killed and injured scores of police officers as they prayed—the biggest of recent attacks on Army and police positions that have sent the people of the northwestern mountains out onto the streets to call for peace and protection. As if that weren’t enough, there are also Baloch separatists, who are taking advantage of the government’s weakness to intensify attacks in Pakistan’s southwest. 
Incapable of solving the economic crisis that’s one of the driving causes of the reemergence of extremism, the government earlier this month announced, to an outcry of opposition, that plans for “all-out comprehensive” military counterterrorism operations nationwide will be drawn up. It’s an acknowledgment, as attacks and casualties mount, that attempts at a diplomatic solution, mediated by sanctioned terrorist and Taliban Interior Minister Sirajuddin Haqqani, have failed. The TTP ended a cease-fire in November; the number of people killed and injured in attacks just in the first quarter of this year was half as many as all of last year, with most in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa and Balochistan, local media reported. 
This being Pakistan, there’s little unity behind the opposition to military action. Parties representing ethnic Pashtuns, who dominate the northwest, say residents will bear the brunt of military operations, as they did in 2014 when counterterrorism assaults displaced thousands of people. Others want past civilian and military leaders called to account for the consequences of those operations before any new campaigns are launched. Still others, like Imran Khan, a charismatic former cricket star whose term as prime minister ended a year ago when he lost a parliamentary no-confidence vote, say it’s a ruse by current Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif to delay elections that Khan’s Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) party would likely win.
“There is no consensus; everybody understands that there has been a spike in militant violence, but there is disagreement on how to deal with this problem,” said Farzana Shaikh, an associate fellow and expert on Pakistan and Afghanistan at London’s Chatham House think tank. “Even before the last government, there was concern that these operations don’t lead anywhere, that they cause a great deal of violence and are followed by a stalemate that allows these groups to re-militarize.” 
The newly appointed chief of the Army staff, Gen. Syed Asim Munir, arguably the most powerful man in the country, has conceded that attempts to negotiate with the TTP have failed, but he is unlikely to repeat the heavy-handed approach of 2014, said Toor, the analyst. 
“In recent appearances before the Parliament, Gen. Munir has explained that the military is not going to launch any new operations against militants, but in fact his approach signals a continuity of the same ongoing intelligence-based operations to target militants’ hideouts,” he said. But no matter what form the counterterrorism operations take, unless there is a major policy shift, any action by the military will be seen in the context of its historical support for militant groups and far-right religious parties to achieve its goals, Toor said.
The common thread is a recognition that Pakistan’s policy on Afghanistan has failed spectacularly. For more than 20 years, Islamabad, and especially its Army and secret services, sought strategic depth against India by playing in the Afghan sandbox. But Pakistan is now at war with the terrorists that the Army and the secret services helped create and once believed they controlled. Effective options are severely limited. Military action that includes strikes on the TTP’s safe haven bases across the border in Afghanistan would exacerbate tensions with Taliban leadership in Kabul; destabilize the border; force even more Afghans to flee into Pakistan, swelling the millions of Afghan refugees already in the country; and risk a regional conflagration. 
The irony is that Khan, whose PTI does seem poised to win the vote if elections are held later this year (and he stays out of the clutches of the law long enough to run), might to some extent end up reaping what he sowed. Khan has “been partial to militant groups, and one reason why militants have come back with the strength we have seen is because they were given space by the PTI,” Shaikh said, referring to Khan’s overt support for the Taliban’s 2021 victory. “There is a feeling that the PTI needs to answer a few questions, and so do some sections of the military establishment.”
The lack of public trust stems from the blizzard of confused messages of one government after another. Some militant groups, like the Taliban in Afghanistan, were advertised as “good” for foreign-policy objectives, while the Pakistani Taliban offshoot is an outright enemy. Other terrorist groups are “bad” because they threaten territorial integrity, such as those advocating independence for the natural gas-rich coastal region of Balochistan, said lawmaker Mohsin Dawar, chairman of the center-left National Democratic Movement and leader of the Pashtun Tahafuz Movement. 
“As long as there is no change in the Afghan policy of Pakistan, in which we have been saying that we support them for strategic interests yet they are supporting the TTP, it is impossible for the people to trust you,” Dawar said. “Now that they have taken over Afghanistan, peace in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and the entire region is almost impossible.”
The solution, he said, is first to “disconnect support for the Afghan Taliban, dismantle their presence in Pakistan, completely exclude them from Pakistan territory.”
“Only then can you lead. If you have the will to do something, there is always a way,” he said.
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crescentsteel · 4 years ago
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Keeping a Secret - Part 3
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pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn warnings: lots of swear words, tsukki being a a closet softie wc: 7.3k (Ill just stop apologizing for this long chapter updates at this point)
[a/n]
Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist uwu
AO3
Part 2 || Part 4 || masterlist
“Remind me again why are we here.” Tsukishima tells you as soon as he steps foot inside your room. 
He scans the room and immediately notices the mess that it is, particularly the top bunk of the bed which he doesn’t doubt must be your share of it.
On the wall on the left side of the room are posters of seascapes and sea animals of different varieties while the desk bolted under it are framed photos of Sendai Frogs. He recognizes them all;, one was taken from the first win of the team on the first year you joined as the manager. The second is a photo of the team at the gym with the new members that year, including Kyoutani who had just recently joined. The last one is a selfie of you on the bus doing a peace sign and winking at  the camera while everyone was sleeping.
He kinda feels bad for your roommate now. You’re practically hogging the whole room.
You put down your bag on the floor and shoot him a confused look. “To do our project?” 
When you told him to meet in your dorm, he agreed because he thought you meant the common area. After all, he had no reason to think you’d invite him to your room. You two may have disregarded the club incident, tucking it away as a sordid memory from a night of insanity, but that doesn’t mean it is forgotten. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case with you as you appear to genuinely find nothing wrong with the current situation. 
You seat yourself at your table, taking out your laptop and notes from the trip last time.
“Go sit, Tsukishima,” you say without even looking at him as you spread out your notes on the table’s surface as your laptop boots up. 
“We could’ve just done this in the library, or at least in the lobby,” he says as a matter-of-factly.
“True, but I also don’t see any problem with doing it here,” you answer passively, still occupied with arranging your papers. 
He was right. It really does not bother you at all. So, he shouldn’t be bothered with it either. This way, at least, no one would see you and him together. You’re a person he doesn’t want to be associated with hanging around with anyways. 
“Do you always invite your groupmates to your room?” He asks out of curiosity since it didn’t seem like anything for you to just invite him in, as if you didn’t care much about your privacy. 
“Hmm. Depends,” you answer. 
He takes out his own laptop, but still eyes you as he prods further. “On what?”
The curve of your lips tugs up slightly as you sit up straight and lift your gaze away from the notes you took out and finally turn your attention to him.
“I welcome those who won’t get handsy with me.”
“Even if you’re the one who’d get handsy with them?” he boldly counters.
You cock your head to the side with hints of amusement playing across your features, which vexes him. The question was supposed to tear your composure, not entertain you. 
“Alright, let’s get the fucking elephant out of the room since it bothers you so much,” you announce with levity. 
If you’re going to be honest, the kiss still finds its way to your mind sometimes. You just keep pushing it off so that you won’t get stressed out by it. What you find interesting is that he still keeps shoving that fact that you kissed him as if you wanted to do so.
Well, you literally did kiss him, but it’s not like you sought for it prior to the incident. 
It just … happened.
“I’ll come clean, good sir, if you’ll allow me,” you declare sarcastically before setting a more serious tone. “I admit it. It was one hell of a mistake to kiss you. But I didn’t mean to. As ridiculous as it sounds, I really didn’t. It was just one of those stupid, off-the-cuff things people do.” 
Your voice takes an accusatory note when you ask, “And why do you sound like I harassed you or something? Hmm? ‘Cause if I remember correctly.”
You cross your arms and look up, pretending to be deep in thought before facing him again with a fraudulent shock. “Oh right!” you exclaim exaggeratedly. “You kissed me back,” you add in almost a sing-song manner.
You put an elbow on the table and rest your cheek on your palm as you hold his glare with a snide grin. “How about that?” 
He continues shooting daggers at you but you don’t falter. Quite soon enough, he lets up and returns to the passive, apathetic face he usually wears, which signals your victory for the argument. “Like you said, it was one of those dumb on the spot whims.”
You nod agreeably. “Alright, great. Now that that has been established, let me reassure you. It’s never ever gonna happen again. Ever.”  
Your eyes are devoid of any humor while your words drip with firm resolve. Yet, he finds it off that you’re not asking him to do the same given that you both just agreed that you are equally accountable for that imprudent act. He is almost just as guilty. 
“Aren’t you going to ask the same from me?”
Your somber expression breaks into a humored one as a laugh rumbles from your throat. You shake your head in comical delight while you look at him. “No, I won’t. Actually...” you drift off as you scoot closer to him until you’re right beside him. “Give it your best shot.”
You close your eyes and tilt your chin up. Did you really just dare him to kiss you? Kiss those stupid lips and have a repeat of that appalling night? 
Should he?
He would do it just to erase the smug off your face, just to prove you wrong. But similar to that night, he can’t bring himself to do it. He hates the idea of instigating such a thing. 
Even more so now that he’s already had a taste of those lips. Those lips that felt too exquisite that it infuriated him. Those lips that took away his logical thinking. With you offering those lips to him so generously, you make him hate them even more. That pretty face and that playful smile of yours do nothing but add to his fury. 
“Can you get your face away from me?” 
You peek one eye open before bursting into laughter, making his displeasure towards you skyrocket. Why the fuck is he always your laughing stock?
“See? This is why I don’t mind you coming over, Tsukishima. I bet if I strip naked right now, you’d walk out in a heartbeat.”
His scowl deepens. The mental image of your unclad body is very much unwelcome and unappreciated. “Bring that up again and I really will leave,” he snaps. 
Even with your smile intact, your humored expression dissolves a bit and is replaced by a curious guise.
“You know, everyone likes me except you,” you say with no shred of diffidence.  
You really are full of yourself. You might be ‘likeable’ for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean every single person you meet actually likes you. He’s certain there are people who you rub off the wrong way -- people like him. 
“Isn’t that a bit too conceited, even for you?”
You shrug your shoulders indifferently. “Maybe so. But you’re the only person who shoves your blatant dislike on my face.”
“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it for the past three years,” he replies as he flips his laptop open and boots it up so he can turn his attention somewhere other than you. 
“I didn’t need to work with you like this for the past three years.”
He doesn’t know where you’re going with the conversation so he doesn’t respond anymore. He’s certain you know why he finds you a pain in the neck. You constantly get on his grill with every opportunity you get. Maybe if you didn’t, he could actually tolerate your topsy turvy persona. But it’s as if it’s your personal mission to aggravate him.
“I’m putting the deal I offered during the trip,” you announce.
“What deal?” he asks as he starts typing bullet points of what should be done today so he can go home already.
“Forget I’m the annoying manager when it’s just us two. And I won’t deliberately piss you off.”
He types the last bullet point before returning his attention on you. “Then what? I suddenly become nice to you?”
“Hell no! I’m not asking for a fucking miracle. It’s not like you’re ever nice to anybody. Geez!” you explain derisively. “I just want us to have a conversation where you’re not giving me death glares.”
You give him a smile, one that lacks your usual haughtiness. Still, he can’t tell if you’re being serious or if you’ll actually manage to hold the deal you’re proposing. Truth be told, he wants it. He can’t handle you being your usual if you two have to meet beyond training hours and, even worse, in private. 
If this keeps up, he might end up cursing this subject by the end of the semester, which would be a waste because likes this subject way too much for you to taint it with your idiocy.
“Deliver your end of the bargain. Then you’ll have mine.”
Your eyes twinkle with glee at his semi-approval. “We have a deal then.” 
You go back to where you’re seated a while ago and proceed to start discussing at hand.
--
With the start of the game season, training has become more intense. Coach Mira had the team work on the weak points she identified with the help of  the data you tallied from last season’s games.
“Kyoutani! Do not lower those arms just yet. Keep those elbows up when you block,” Coach yells at him, as Kogane spiked from the other side of the court.
She looks over at the other players practicing their jump serves. She furrows her brows at something. Following her line of sight, you see that it falls on Tsukishima. 
On his next serve, the ball spins ferociously but is of low height that it hits the middle of the night. 
“Y/n,” Coach calls out. She didn’t have to say anything else as she cocks her head to Tsukishima’s direction with a telling expression on her face. She’s asking you to handle him, and you know exactly why. 
Before he can toss the ball for another jump serve, you yell out merrily which you know will definitely catch his ears, “ Tsukki!! ” and jog to where he is. His blank expression turns into a scowl when you reach him. 
“Can you stop calling me that?”
“You’re so mean. Aren’t we close enough for me to call you ‘ Tsukki ’?.” You ask with a dramatic pout and exaggerated false woes that he visibly cringes after hearing it. 
He doesn’t respond to your pretentious act. “Why are you here?”
You instantly lose the cheeky act and get to what Coach Mira wants to let him know. You’re just going to twist the words a bit to his ‘liking.’ 
This is the problem you noticed with Tsukishima, one worse than his rotten way of interacting with the team. He can be incredibly unmotivated at times, and when he is, he only gives the bare minimum amount of effort. 
It’s the one thing you can say you truly dislike about him because he’s a professional athlete for crying out loud. It doesn’t matter if he’s unmotivated, uninspired, or doesn’t feel like trying. He should be disciplined enough to push himself to put as much work as he usually does when training.
“You’re not going to get those serves in with that half-assed attitude of yours,” you say sternly while you eye him with a threatening stare. 
His face scrunches in utter displeasure. He’s well aware that he’s not feeling his best today and he’d rather do blocking drills for the whole raining than do ten consecutive jump serves. 
“Since enthusiasm is the answer to everything else, why don’t you try it?” He bites back, which you obviously weren’t expecting. He’s always irritated when you point out his mistakes, but thus far he has always stayed silent. 
Maybe the amount of time you’re spending together outside the gymnasium has made him reach the limit of his patience… which isn’t even a lot to begin with.
“Are you serious?” you ask incredulously.
Of course he wasn’t. You might have some sort of experience with volleyball (although he doesn’t know to which extent), but jump serves are difficult. The coordination of the toss and the run up to hit it at the right angle is aggravatingly hard to pull off, especially for him since jump serves need tons of practice.
He detests the practice for it; he needs to run, jump, and swing his arm over and over. It is boring and tiring for him because it is purely based on physical prowess, compared to practicing blocking where he’s actually thinking. 
He thought you’d leave him alone when you stepped away. Instead, you come back with a ball in your hand. You dribble it off the floor with unbendable focus as if you’re trying to recall something.
“Are you serious?” he’s the one who asks this time. He was just fucking around. He didn’t expect you’d actually respond to his provocation.
“Yep,” you answer with your full concentration on the ball in your hand as you spin it vertically. Some of the players notice what you’re up to and briefly stop what they’re doing to watch.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You bat them open with burning determination before you toss the ball. 
Instead of watching the ball, he watches your form. There’s no trace of awkwardness in your movements, almost like you’ve done this frequently before. The three-step approach is nearly perfect as you propel yourself up to jump. 
The sharp sound of the ball hitting your hand causes the rest of the gym to look at you. The ball spins ferociously at a height he’s not sure is sufficient to get over the other side of the court. He wishes it won’t. That would be the second worst thing you could ever do to him, the first one being that certain occurrence he’d rather not think about again. 
You falter on your feet when you descend from your leap but you immediately look up to see if your serve makes it. Everyone else, including him, is on the edge as they watch whether the ball will get in or not.
It roughly scrapes the edge of the net, effectively thwarting its velocity. Still, it bounces off and lands inside the opposing court, causing the rest of the team to cheer you on as the ball hits the floor.
You seem to forget for a short while that you did it to spite him as your face beams with inexplicable joy while his contorts with ire. 
Even if the momentum of the ball was broken, you still managed to get it over - the one thing he hadn’t been able to do from his last eight attempts. Meanwhile, you did it on your first. 
You definitely had a lot of experience in high school. No beginner can manage to do a jump serve like that, even if it was flawed.
‘Shit,’ he silently curses when you face him with a cocky grin disguised as a pleasant one. 
“Who knew that my experience being an outside hitter and captain of my high school team would still be useful as your manager?” you ask as you slowly walk towards him.
He doesn’ expect that your knowledge about the sport came from first-hand experience. He thought you’re manager of another team previously or just a crazy volleyball enthusiast.
You pick up another ball and softly push it against his rib as you look up to him with contempt. “Don’t tell me I can do better than you,” you spur him on with squinted eyes.
He snatches the ball away from your hands and steps back from the serving line. He spins the ball one time and tosses it high. Instead of a three-step approach, he makes it a four to increase his vertical jump. He tosses it high enough and channels all his rage for you at the ball. 
With how high he jumped, the ball easily goes over the net. Its trajectory curves when it crosses over and hits a spot a little bit just beyond the end line.
He clenches his fist at his another failed attempt despite exerting more than necessary effort for that shot. He avoids looking at you for he’d be put in an even worse mood if sees that taunting grin of yours. 
But of course you had to make yourself seen and intentionally go in front of him with an impressed look in your face instead of a condescending one. 
“That was great! Holy shit. It was just a smidge out. Wow.” You applaud him earnestly, and as much as he despises it, it makes him a little less bad about that missed shot. 
“Can you leave me alone now?” He drives you away to fend off the stupid feeling. He’d rather you just walk away and don’t say anything. “Not like that serve mattered,” he mutters in annoyance.
“What are you talking about? It was awesome!” you yell out with your eyes shining with flagrant admiration, which annoyingly strokes his ego. 
“Just a bit less and it would have been in a spot difficult to return,” you remark as you pat his shoulders approvingly before heeding his request to leave and go back to where Coach is. 
“Sorry, Coach. I distracted everyone else,” you scratch your head with an apologetic smile when you return. 
“I’d tell you off, but everyone seems more motivated now, so good work I guess,” she commends you with a satisfactory tone.
“He looks really pissed though,” Coach Mira adds as she glances at the blonde middle blocker.
“More than you know, Coach,” you reply with a wide smile as he serves another ball and gets it in this time. 
--
Prior to your meeting with Tsukishima today, you proposed to finish the project as soon as possible so you can both focus on other other uni subjects on top of training hours. He immediately agreed, which didn’t surprise you because even though it’s not game season, you’re pretty sure he can’t wait to stop having to see you.
The project’s deadline is in three months, but you believe you can finish it in less than two if you meet up at least twice a week to work on it.
It should be okay, given that you both agreed to have a truce of some sort from the usual dynamic of your relationship. You actually think that it’s not going to work out smoothly, but you still suggested it with the hopes of decreasing his animosity towards you. Yes, it’s fun and amusing most of the time, but outside the gym where you’re just a classmate and not his manager, it’s kinda draining to deal with it. 
“Won’t your roommate mind if there’s a stranger in your room?” he asks as he sits down and rummages through his bag. 
“Oh.” You thought he already figured it out because he didn’t ask about it on his first visit. “Didn’t I tell you before? I don’t have a roommate.” 
His eyes immediately go to your bunk bed that you didn’t bother getting replaced because it’s convenient when you’re too tired. You usually just mindlessly throw your stuff at the top bunk for a later clean-up.
“Wanted the whole room to myself,” you add.
“Spoiled, little rich brat, aren’t you?” He really doesn’t have much basis for his statement. He just wants to say something nasty and sneer at you because he wants to get back at how you called him out during training the other day.
When he meets your gaze, you raise an eyebrow at him, reminding him about your agreement while working on the project. He purses his lips to the side and returns to his passive expression without saying anything. You roll your eyes in response.
“Well if being a scholar while working as your manager is being a spoiled rich brat, then by all means. Do consider me one,” you answer before looking back on your screen. 
He would have never thought you were a university scholar. You don’t look like the type. You’re way too carefree and all over the place. He would’ve thought it was a joke, if not for the tiny offended glint he caught when he said you’re a spoiled brat.
That’s exactly the reaction he wants to get from you, yet it didn’t feel satisfactory. On the contrary, it’s making him feel like a prick. He is being one, but he doesn’t expect to feel like one, especially towards you who does nothing but get on his skin. 
Still, hell would freeze over before he apologizes. Instead, he prods on the topic.
“Why would you even work as a manager if you’re already a scholar?”
It doesn’t make sense to him. You don’t need the work if your university fees are already waived. It will just pile on to the academic requirements you will need to maintain. 
Your hand stops scrolling on your mouse as your eyes soften, still  remaining on your laptop. “Cause I love it,” you utter like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
The look in your eyes is instantly replaced by mockery when you lift them to meet his. 
“Someone’s being inquisitive today.”
He gets his headphones out and plugs it to his laptop. He really is curious why you chose you to be their manager, but you just had to be an obnoxious bitch and break the agreement you offered to him just the other day. 
He knows you’re too much of a chaos to actually pull it off, so instead of wasting his energy by being irritated by you for the day, he’d rather pretend you’re not there.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” you say loudly with a wide smile, yet he can see the sincerity of the apology through the slight panic in your orbs. You must have realized he’s had enough of your shit. “My bad. Old habits hard.” You laugh nervously. 
You speak again when he puts down his headphones on the table. “I may have quit the sport, but I still love it. I love taking care of players like you guys who have the same passion for it.”
“Doesn’t seem like it’s worth it,” he comments with unheld honesty. You could have a lot of time off of your hands if you quit being their manager. You don’t even need the job.
You plant your hands on the floor and lean back as your gaze drifts to the photos of the team displayed on your desk.
“You might be right. A marine science student dedicating her time on sports even though she’s not an athlete? It does sound impractical. But,” you revert your eyes back to him as you continue on, “it makes me happy. That alone makes it worth it. Even if I don’t get paid, I’d still do it.”
Your face glows with pride and joy with your last statement, completely undeterred by his earlier cynicism. If anything, you look even more convinced that you’re doing the right thing. 
He can’t tell if he finds it admirable or disturbing. Probably the latter.
“There’s more to life than just sleep, study, and survive, don’t you think?” 
It was a rhetorical question that he would’ve still refuted if someone told him that years ago. Back in his freshman year in high school, he thought overzealous passion was stupid. Unless an individual is some sort of prodigy, it wouldn’t get them anywhere even if they keep trying to death.
Still, he put in a lot of work -- more than he should -- when he was playing in Karasuno. What was just a club became entirely something else for him, which, up until now, he still hasn’t put quite a finger on. 
When he graduated from Karasuno, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to continue playing, but there was a nagging feeling behind his head that he shouldn’t. He thought that that part of his life was already over and while it was good while it lasted, it was time to move one. 
Yet, when he was handed out an application form for the university’s college team, he found himself grabbing the sheet of paper. 
He didn’t have any reason to pursue it beyond high school. He knows he’s good, but he’s not that good. He was at university already. It was time to focus on his future and ignore the itch to hold the ball with five other players on his side of the court.
What’s even more absurd was the next day, he submitted the application form and tried out for the team. He said to himself it wouldn’t hurt to go on playing until he has finally had enough. He’d just ride it out until he got tired of it. 
In his sophomore year, he was scouted by Sendai Frogs and that’s when he knew that the unreasonable passion he has for volleyball is not going to go away. Even now in his graduating semester, he’s still not ready to give it up.
He won’t admit it in your face, but, in a way, he can agree with what you just said. Life is more than just getting by and surviving. That’s the only reason he can think of to justify his choice to continue volleyball: so that he wouldn’t have this constant dissonance that pursuing the sport is a vacuous path he’s treading on. 
“Anyways, back to work now, yeah?”
You smile briefly at him and return to the research you’re tasked to do. He puts his headphones back in his bag and gets back to his own task as well.
He thought all is well and you won’t pester him until you both finish what you’re supposed to accomplish for the day. Unfortunately, he thought wrong. 
You suddenly close your laptop and start whining. 
“Tsukki.”
As usual, he does his best to not acknowledge your existence. 
“Tsukkiii, ” you whine louder. 
For the love of God, you sound the most annoying when you use his nickname. Even though you’ve used it several times now, he’s still not used to it. In fact, he does not believe he will ever get used to it. Shimizu and Yachi not even once called him that, and they were more respectable managers than you are. Sort of. It doesn’t matter that you’re more active and hands on when managing the team.
“Tsuuuk -”
“What?!” You successfully manage to get his eyes off the screen.
“I’m bored,” you pout. 
He glares at you unbelievably. What are you, a five-year-old? 
“And that is my problem, how?” he asks with disdain. 
“Aren’t you getting tired?” you ask back, unfazed by his blatant irritation. But then again, you never are. 
He is getting tired too, but he’d rather drag his brains and eyes out than rest and extend the time he’s going to spend with you. 
“Let’s take a break, please, ” you cry out with pleading eyes. 
“I don’t care what you do. Just leave me out of it.” He puts his attention back on his laptop and looks for the journal article he found significant among the other tabs he opened. 
“I’ll feel guilty if I see you still at it while I goof around,” you admit. 
He really couldn’t care any less. None of what you’re blabbering about is any of his concern. If you keep at it, he’ll just take out his headphones again to drown out your childish whining. 
“I know!” You suddenly perk up. “Let’s review for our quiz,” you suggest eagerly. “We have one tomorrow, right?”
He almost smirks at your suggestion, but he manages to suppress it. He’d rather not let you see that he’s pleasantly amused with your suggestion. 
He didn’t expect that that was your idea of taking a break. He thought you were going to propose something completely absurd like watch stupid videos online because that’s something he could totally see you doing on your free time. 
But yeah, he can definitely use a review. It would be a productive break from the strenuous researching and writing you two have been doing. 
Even though he still hasn’t verbally agreed, you continue on. “To make it interesting, there’s a penalty for every wrong answer.”
He sits up straight, pushing his glasses closer to his face as you successfully gain his full attention. “What penalty?”
Your smile widens when you realize that he’s finally acknowledging your idea of taking a break. 
“Okay, okay.” You rub your hands together in excitement before you clasp them together. “For every wrong answer you get, you need to say something nice about me. And of course vice versa.”
He scowls at the idea. “I prefer the opposite. Get the answer wrong and you get insulted. That sounds more of a punishment.”
You shake your head with your lips pressed into a thin line from disapproval. “Nope. If I get even one wrong answer. I’m sure you’ll get into a litany of rude shit you piled up against me over the years. And I’ll just sit here uncaringly receiving your fury. Does that excite you?”
Hell no. It will infuriate him even more if he throws something at you and you just take it apathetically. But he still doesn’t agree with your initial mechanics. It’s not fair to him.
“No, it doesn’t. But the consequence of a wrong answer is too easy for you.”
You place a palm on your chest and gape at him. “Me? Too easy for me ?” 
You break into a boisterous laugh while still maintaining eye contact with him. He just stares back at you stupefied with no idea what you found so hilarious.
“Tsukishima,” you say after recovering from your disparaging hoots of laughter. “I can think of literally one nice thing about you. Maybe two if I tried hard enough,” you explain with your face still crinkled with the laughter you’re trying hard to contain. 
If you’re trying to provok him to take on your challenge, you definitely succeeding. “Fine,” he hisses. 
Your laughter is completely thwarted when your eyes widen with delight as he succumbs to your plan. 
“Great! Okay, two more rules. One, objective questions only. Two, we can’t say anything that involves Volleyball. For example, you can’t tell me that I’m a great manager, because I’m very much aware of that already, okay?”
His frown only deepens from your conceitedness, only to realize that that’s the only aspect of you he’d consider complimenting you about. 
“But there is nothing else nice about you other than that,” he says without any trace of sarcasm or ridicule, only stating what he considers the truth. 
But you don’t take any offense in his statement. You’re expecting as much. That’s why you added two more rules to push the both of you to take the review seriously.
“Better not get anything wrong then,” you counter easily because it’s as simple as that. It’s a review just for a quiz after all. He shouldn’t be that worried.
“Thirty minutes to review. Then let’s start the quiz?”
You take that he’s fine with it since he closes his laptop and gets his set of notes from his bag.
You get your phone and set a thirty minute timer. You do just as he does and focus on your own notes, skimming over the last two chapters covered during lectures. You concentrate on your learning materials but the alarm sets off after what seemed like ten minutes to you.
You frantically check your phone to see if you put the wrong time, but you didn’t. Thirty minute have indeed passed. 
When you glance at Tsukishima, he’s already looking at you with crossed arms and a self-satisfied smirk. He must have finished before the timer went off. He wouldn’t have that smug expression if not. 
Even though you haven’t fully gone over the last parts of the lesson covered, you can’t help but be enlivened at how competitive he is. He must really hate losing. 
You notice it too with the way he plays volleyball. He might look calm on the surface, but you know he wants to crush his opponents. And right now, that opponent is you. 
His muted excitement affects you. Even though you’re not totally prepared, you’re confident with your own wits. 
“Ladies first, so go ahead, Tsukishima.”
He clicks his tongue, his usual habit when he’s irked with something, but this one was forced to make it appear as if he didn’t like what you said. But you can tell that he doesn’t give a shit about that and he actually can’t wait to ask away just to so you can get it wrong.
Unfortunately for him though, you two are just exchanging questions when your mini game starts. He answers your questions without hesitation and you do just the same since most of his questions are in your own list that’s supposed to be for him.
“What’s the movable membrane found on the eyes of amphibians?” It’s his sixth question that has you racking your brain for the correct answer. When you don’t respond immediately, he sniggers like he’s already won. 
But you do know the answer, or at least the first letter of it. It's the letter N. N-something membrane.
“Nictaling membrane,” you answer unsurely. 
The spread of his wicked smile immediately tells you you’re wrong. “It’s nictating,” he corrects you. 
“Oh come on! I’m just one letter off,” you strongly reason out.
“Yeah, and that would still be marked wrong in the actual quiz,” he refutes.
Damn it. He’s right. That one letter makes a whole lot of difference your professor will definitely not let go.
He places one elbow on the table and rests his chin at the back of his hand, keeping his eyes trained on you as he silently anticipates for you to pay the price of your penalty.
You bite your lip disquietly when you realize the rule you set was a double-edged sword for you can’t also think of anything nice to say about him. There’s that terrible attitude of his which is usually your source of fun, but not exactly something you can call nice. 
You have something in your mind, but your pride won’t let you voice it out. 
He starts tapping the table with his fingers. “You’re wasting both our time, y/n.”
You accept your defeat and tell him anyway. “Fine. I think you’re smarter than me,” you confess. 
You expect him to agree unanimously, but instead he looks at you stupefied, blinking a few times without saying anything. 
“But you’re a scholar,” he remarks. You’re not sure if he just disagreed with you or he’s just putting that fact out in the open. 
“Well, yeah. But I’m just really good at studying and have good time management. You’re actually smart. You’re critical with stuff,” you explain. 
You cheated a bit with your answer since most of your basis is from volleyball games. Although your trip last time is also proof of that. He provided really good input on how you should go about with the project. 
“Okay! Moving on,” you proceed before he can comment further on what you just said and milk it to his benefit.
You ask another question, which he also knows that correct answer to. Originally, you just wanted a fun but effective way of reviewing, but now you kind of want him to get at least one question wrong so you can get even. 
“What do you call the structure the lower vertebrae of anurans is fused into?” he asks another difficult question. 
You rub your palms on your face, your frustration clouding your mind from recalling what it could possibly be. You push your hair back and sigh when you realize that you’re not getting this one either. 
“I don’t know,” you surrender. 
His current expression is the most lively one you’ve ever seen from him outside volleyball games, but it isn't a pleasant one. He looks like a villain whose evil master plan is coming to fruition. 
Maybe you should’ve just agreed with his earlier suggestion to get insulted when you get it incorrectly. You would’ve just sit it out and brush it off afterwards, not make your brain hurt even more from thinking about non-existent good traits from the guy across your table. 
You look around as you desperately try to think of something remotely nice about him.
“Oh,” your eyes meet his right the moment you recall that instance, and form a genuine smile as you remember it once more. 
“It was real nice of you to let me lean on you on the way back to Miyagi last week.”
He removes his elbow from the table and fixes his posture, losing the lax and confident aura he had two questions ago. 
“You would have woken up face down on the bus floor if I didn’t,” he says defensively as if what he did needs that explanation for it to be acceptable. 
You honestly thought he’d rather let you fall flat on the floor. You’re about to ask him back then if he was sure, but you just accepted his angry, yet generous offer which you didn’t expect to come from him.
“I know. I just didn’t think you’d let me rest on your shoulder, so thanks,” you say earnestly, not a trace of your usual cheekiness present. 
“It felt nice and comfortable” you add reservedly. You’ve been wanting to thank him but you didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward for you’re only used to dealing with grouchy Tsukishima.
It’s only then you realize that despite his palpable dislike towards you, he’s not a complete asshole and still cared enough for your welfare that time.
He remains expressionless with his eyes drifting down to his notes, avoiding your gaze as he does so. “The answer is coccyx, also called urostyle,” he ushers back to the question you got wrong, dismissing what you just divulged, which you’re thankful for because you feel like fidgeting with what just dawned on you.
“My turn again then!” you said too loudly as you try to shake off the feeling and put your focus back on the review.
You read the only item left in your list, still hoping that he gets it wrong since this is the last. 
“What part of the amphibian nervous system regulates heart and respiratory rates?”
Unlike previous questions, he doesn’t answer off the bat this time.
“You’re wasting both our time, Tsukishima,” you repeat what he said to you earlier even though it's only been seconds after you uttered your question. 
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I know the answer,” he declares with reassured confidence. “It’s the cerebrum.”
You decide to hold his gaze for two second before you burst his bubble. “Fucking finally!” you rejoice in his defeat. 
“Close enough, Tsukishima. It’s the cerebellum,” you announce all too cheerfully.
He hurriedly gets his notes and cross checks if you’re actually telling the truth. You just watch him scramble with a very pleased smile on your face as he goes rigid. 
“Fuck,” he mutters to himself. He must have seen that you were telling the truth.
You start squirming in your seat. Oh man, you’re way too excited to hear what he has to say about you. You want to egg him on, to tell him to hurry up but that might affect what he’s going to say so you force yourself to shut up. 
He raises his gaze at you while you make sure you’re not smiling too wide to annoy him even though you’re reeling from anticipation. 
He still doesn’t say anything, but you know he’s thinking based on the way he’s studying your face. 
“You have a slightly above average face.”
You run that by again in your head, not understanding what he meant by it at first. 
Above average face? Did he just say you’re pretty if translated from a socially incapacitated person’s language? Is that why he was staring so hard at you?
Of all the things he could choose to say something about, he decides to compliment your appearance? You know that you're a bit good-looking, but you don’t think he notices it. He doesn’t seem to be the type to care about that stuff.
Even when you first met, he just looked at you with a vacant expression and greeted you blandly out of courtesy while the rest of the team ogled at you. His apathetic eyes eventually turned scornful over time because of how often you pick on him, and despite that, he does acknowledge that you are pretty.
You’re used to being showered with admiration because of your face so you’ve developed a natural response to it: a gleeful smile with a spritely ‘aww, thanks!’
But with Tsukishima, it doesn’t kick in. Instead, you avert your gaze away from the unwanted fluttering in your chest. You can’t even look him in the eye as you try to collect yourself and think how you’ll respond to that without looking flustered. 
What the heck is wrong with you? That could hardly be called a compliment. Now that you think about it, it actually sounded sort of like a product review with its lack of any fondness. 
With that in mind, you manage to regain some of your composure and offer him a faint. “Um, thanks.”  
Tsukishima looks at his two remaining questions he listed and even though he’s winning the game, he doesn’t feel victorious at all. Your confessions did nothing to make him feel good about himself. They were too sincere that they made him uneasy.
He also doesn’t like that he had to admit you’re pretty. He expected you’re gonna make a fuss about it. He actually would’ve preferred that than you being uncharacteristically embarrassed about it.
Something weird is definitely going on. You’re not acting like yourself and neither is he. There had been too many opportunities to badger you, but he just let them pass by. Same with you. You could have easily teased him about letting you know he finds you attractive.
“I’m out of questions,” he lies to end the damn review. 
“Me too, actually,” you say with an apprehensive laugh.
So it’s not just him. You also feel the change in the atmosphere between you two. Your smile is uncertain and you look like you don't know what to do to remedy the situation -- that is, if you even know what’s wrong with it because he sure as hell doesn’t. 
But even if he has no idea what’s going on, fortunately, he knows how to end it.
“I’m tired. I’m calling it a day,” he says as he starts packing up his stuff. 
You seem to agree since you don’t say anything and just watch him collect his things. You only react when he stands up. 
“Oh yeah. Sure!” You stand up as well.
“I can see my way out on my own,” he stops you when you start to head for the door.  
You freeze on the spot then nod timidly. “Okay.”
As soon as he steps out and closes the door, you plop yourself back to where you were sitting. You grasp the edges of your table as you softly bang your head against it, gasping a heavy breath of relief when the air becomes undoubtedly lighter after he is gone.
“What the fuck was that?” you mumble with your cheek against the wooden surface. 
Part 2 || Part 4 || masterlist
taglist (those crossed out can’t be tagged)
@ameliaxo @suikrem @akaashisslave @tsumurai  @babythotshq @loving-unicorns106 @flairlust @geektastic84 @anaiss97 @berna-dette @just4readingfics @suteorra @xxekitten69xx @simp4tsukkii @music-is-all-i-need @keshinslittlegirl @raspberrysunshinebby @iminlovewhaikyuu @pdiddy11 @lightyagamami @sailorscout1902 @lovershaikyuu  @expectonothinfromme @mitzuya @yamigoop​
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sabugabr · 3 years ago
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Why the Clone problem in Star Wars animated media is also a Mandalorian problem, and why we have to talk about it (PART 2)
Hi! I finally finished wrapping this up, so here’s part 2 of what has already become a mini article (you can find Part 1 here, if you like!)
And for this part, it won’t be as much as a critic as part 1 was, but instead I’d like to focus more on what I consider to be a wasted potential regarding the representation of the Clones in the Star Wars animated media, from the first season of The Clone Wars till now, and why I believe it to be an extension of the Mandalorian problem I discussed in part 1 —  the good old colonialism.
Sources used, as always, will be linked at the end of this post!
PART 2: THE CLONES
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Cody will never know peace
So I’d like to state that I won’t focus as much on the blatantly whitewashing aspect, for I believe it to be very clear by now. If you aren’t familiar with it, I highly recommend you search around tumblr and the internet, there are a lot of interesting articles and posts about it that explain things very didactically and in detail. The only thing you need to know to get this started is that even at the first seasons of Clone Wars (when the troopers still had this somewhat darker skin complexion and all) they were still a whitewashed version of Temuera Morrison (Jango’s actor). And from then, as we all know, they only got whiter and whiter till we get where we are now, in rage.
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Look at this very ambiguously non-white but still westernized men fiercely guarding their pin-up space poster
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Now look at this still westernized but slightly (sarcasm) whiter men who for some reason now have different tanning levels among them (See how Rex now has a lighter skin tone? WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN KKKKKKK) Anyway you got the idea. So without further ado...
2.1 THE FANTASY METAPHOR
As I mentioned before in Part 1, one thing that has to be very clear if you want to follow my train of thought is that it’s impossible to consume something without attributing cultural meanings to it, or without making cultural associations. This things will naturally happen and it often can improve our connection to certain narratives, especially fantastic ones. Even if a story takes place in a fantastic/sci fi universe, with all fictional species and people and worlds and cultures, they never come from nowhere, and almost always they have some or a lot of basing in real people and cultures. And when done properly, this can help making these stories resonate in a very beautifull, meaningfull way. I actually believe this intrisic cultural associations are the things that make these stories work at all. As the brilliant american speculative/science fiction author Ursula K. Le Guin says in the introduction (added in 1976) of her novel The Left Hand of Darkness, and that I was not able to chopp much because it’s absolutely genious and i’ll be leaving the link to the full text right here,
“The purpose of a thought-experiment, as the term was used by Schrodinger and other physicists, is not to predict the future — indeed Schrodinger's most famous thought-experiment goes to show that the ‘future,’ on the quantum level, cannot be predicted — but to describe reality, the present world.
Science fiction is not predictive; it is descriptive.”
[...] “Fiction writers, at least in their braver moments, do desire the truth: to know it, speak it, serve it. But they go about it in a peculiar and devious way, which consists in inventing persons, places, and events which never did and never will exist or occur, and telling about these fictions in detail and at length and with a great deal of emotion, and then when they are done writing down this pack of lies, they say, There! That's the truth!
They may use all kinds of facts to support their tissue of lies. They may describe the Marshalsea Prison, which was a real place, or the battle of Borodino, which really was fought, or the process of cloning, which really takes place in laboratories, or the deterioration of a personality, which is described in real textbooks of psychology; and so on. This weight of verifiable place-event-phenomenon-behavior makes the reader forget that he is reading a pure invention, a history that never took place anywhere but in that unlocalisable region, the author's mind. In fact, while we read a novel, we are insane —bonkers. We believe in the existence of people who aren't there, we hear their voices, we watch the battle of Borodino with  them, we may even become Napoleon. Sanity returns (in most cases) when the book is closed.”
[...] “ In reading a novel, any novel, we have to know perfectly well that the whole thing is nonsense, and then, while reading, believe every word of it. Finally, when we're done with it, we may find — if it's a good novel — that we're a bit different from what we were before we read it, that we have been changed a little, as if by having met a new face, crossed a street we never crossed before. But it's very hard to say just what we learned, how we were changed.
The artist deals with what cannot be said in words.
The artist whose medium is fiction does this within words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words. Words can be used thus paradoxically because they have, along with a semiotic usage, a symbolic or metaphoric usage. [...]  All fiction is metaphor. Science fiction is metaphor. What sets it apart from older forms of fiction seems to be its use of new metaphors, drawn from certain great dominants of our contemporary life — science, all the sciences, and technology, and the relativistic and the historical outlook, among them. Space travel is one of these metaphors; so is an alternative society, an alternative biology; the future is another. The future, in fiction, is a metaphor.
A metaphor for what?” [1]
A metaphor for what indeed. I won’t be going into what Star Wars as a whole is a metaphor for, because I am certain that it varies from person to person, and everyone can and has the total right to take whatever they want from this story, and understand it as they see fit. That’s why it’s called the modern myth. And therefore, all I’ll be saying here is playinly my take not only on what I understand the Clones to be, but what I believe they could have meant.
2.2 SO, BOBA IS A CLONE
I don’t want to get too repetitive, but I wanted to adress it because even though I by no means intend to put Boba and the Clones in the same bag, there is one aspect about them that I find very similar and interesting, that is the persue of individuality. While the Clones have this very intrinsically connected to their narratives, in Boba’s case this appears more in his concept design. As I mentioned in Part 1, one of the things the CW staff had in mind while designing the mandalorians is that they wanted to make Boba seem unique and distinguishable from them, and honestly even in the original trilogy he stands out a lot. He is unique and memorable and that’s one of the things that draws us to him.
And as we all know, both Boba and Jango and the Clones are played by Temuera Morrison — and occasionally by the wonderful Bodie Taylor and Daniel Logan. And Temuera Morrison comes from the Maori people. And differently from the mandalorian case, where we were talking about a whole planet, in this situation we’re talking about portraying one single person, so there’s nowhere to go around his appearance and phenotypes, right? I mean, you are literally representing an actual individual, so there’s no way you could alter their looks, right?
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(hahahaha wrong)
And besides that, I think that is in situations like that (when we are talking about individuals) that the actor’s perspective could really have a place to shine (just the same as how Lea was mostly written by Carrie Fisher). In this very heart-warming interview for The New York Times (which you can read full signing up for their 5-free-articles-per-month policy), Temuera Morrison talks a little bit about how he incorporated his cultural background to Boba Fett in The Mandalorian:
“I come from the Maori nation of New Zealand, the Indigenous people — we’re the Down Under Polynesians — and I wanted to bring that kind of spirit and energy, which we call wairua. I’ve been trained in my cultural dance, which we call the haka. I’ve also been trained in some of our weapons, so that’s how I was able to manipulate some of the weapons in my fight scenes and work with the gaffi stick, which my character has.” [2]
The Gaffi stick (or Gaderffii), btw, is the weapon used by the Tusken Raiders on Tatooine, and according to oceanic art expert Bruno Claessens it’s design was inspired by wooden Fijian war clubs called totokia. [3]
And I think is very clear how this background can influence one’s performance and approach to a character, and majorly how much more alive this character will feel like. Beyond that, having an actor from your culture to play and add elements to a character will higly improve your sense of connection with them (besides all the impact of seeying yourself on screen, and seeying yourself portrayed with respect). It would only make sense if the cultural elements that the actor brought when giving life to a fictional individual would’ve been kept and even deepened while expanding this role. And if you’re familiar with Star Wars Legends you’ll probably rememeber that in Legends Jango would train and raise all Clone troopers in the Mandalorian culture, so that the Clones would sing traditional war chants before battles, be fluent in Mando’a (Mandalore’s language) and some would proudly take mandalorian names for themselves. So why didn’t Filoni Inc. take that into account when they went to delve into the clones in The Clone Wars?
2.3 THE WHITE MINORITY
First of all I’d like to state that all this is 100% me conjecturing, and by no means at all I’m saying that this is what really happened. But while I was re-watching CW before The Bad Batch premiere, something came to my mind regarding the whitewashing of the Clones, and I’d like to leave that on the table.
So, you know this kind of recent movies and series that depicted like, fairies in this fictional world where fairies were very opressed, but there would be a lot of fairies played by white actors? Just like Bright and Carnival Row. If you’ve watched some of these and have some racial conscience, you’ll probably know where I’m going here. And the issue with it is that often this medias will portray real situations of racism and opression and prejudice, but all applied to white people. Like in Carnival Row, when going to work as a maid in a rich human house, our girl Cara Delevingne had to fight not to have her braids (which held a lot of significance in her culture) cut by her intolerant human mistress, because the braids were not “appropriate”. Got it? hahahaha what a joy
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Look at her ethnic braids!!!
One of the reasons this happens might be to relieve a white audience of the burden of watching these stories and feeling what I like to call “white guilt”. Because, as we all know, white people were never very oppressed.  Historically speaking, white people have always been in privileged social positions, and in an exploitative relationship between two ethnic groups, white people very usually would be the exploiters  —  the opressors. So while watching situations (that every minority would know to be very real) of opression in fiction, if these situations were lived by a white actor, there would be no real-life associations, because we have no historical parameter to associate this situation with anything in real life — if you are white. Thus, there is less chance that, when consuming one of these narratives, whoever is watching will question the "truthfulness" of these situations (because it's not "real racism", see, "they're just fairies"). It's easier for a person to watch without having to step out of their comfort zone, or confront the reality of real people who actually go through things like that. There's even a chance that this might diminish empathy for these people.
Once again, not saying this is specifically the case of the Clones, majorly because one of the main feelings you have when watching CW is exactly empathy for the troopers (at least for me, honestly, the galaxy could explode, I just wanted those poor men to be happy for God’s sake). But I’ll talk more about it later.
The thing is, the whole thing with the Clones, if you think about it, it’s not pretty. If you step on little tiny bit outside the bubble of “fictional fantasy”, the concept is very outrageous. They are kept in conditions analogous to slavery, to say the least. To say the more, they were literally made in an on-demand lab to serve a purpose they are personally not a part of, for which they will neither receive any reward nor share any part of the gains. On the contrary, as we saw in The Bad Batch, as soon as the war was over and the clones were no longer useful as cannonballs, they were discarded. In the (wonderful) episode 6 of the third season of (the almost flawless) Rebels, “The Last Battle”, we're even personally introduced to the analogy that there really wasn't much difference in value between clones and droids, something that was pretty clear in Clone Wars but hadn't been said explicitly yet.
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In fact, technically the Separatists can be considered to be more human than the Republic. But that's just my opinion.
So, you had this whole army of pretty much slaves. I know this is a heavy term, but these were people who were originally stripped of any sense of humanity or individuality, made literally to go to war and die in it, doing so purely in exchange for food and lodging, under the false pretense that they belonged to a glorious purpose (yes, Loki me taught that term, that was the only thing I absorbed from this series). Doing all this under extremely precarious conditions from which they had no chance of getting out, actually, getting out was tantamount to the death penalty. They were slaves. In milder terms, an oppressed minority. And again, I don't know if that was the case, but I can understand why Filoni Inc would be apprehensive about representing phenotically indigenous people in this situation. Especially since we in theory should see Anakin and Obi-Wan as the good guys.
(and here I’d like to leave a little disclaimer that I believe the whole Anakin-was-a-slave-once plot was HUGELY misused (and honestly just badly done) both in the prequels and in the animeted series  — maybe for the best, since he was, you know, white and all that, and I don’t know how the writers would have handled it, but ANYWAY — I believe this could have been further explored, particularly regarding his relationship with the Clones, and how it could have influenced his revolt against the Jedi, and manipulated to add to his anger and all that. I mean, we already HAD the fact that Anakin shared a deeper conection with his troopers than usual)
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Yes, Rex, you have common trauma experiences to share. But anyway, backing to my track
As I was saying, we are to see them as good guys, and maybe that could’ve been tricky if we saw them hooping up on slavery practices. Like, idk, a “nice” sugar plantation owner? (I don’t know the correct word for it in english, but in portuguese they were called senhores de engenho) Like this guy from 12 Years a Slave?
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You know, the slave owner who was “nice”. IDK, anyway  
No one will ever watch Clone Wars and make this association (I believe not, at least), of course not. But if we were to see how CW deepened the clone arcs, and see them as phenotypically indigenous, subjected to certain situations that occur in CW (yes, like Umbara), maybe some kind of association would’ve been easier to make.
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I mean, come onnnn I can’t be the only one seeing it
You see, maybe not the whole 12 Years a Slave association one, but I don’t think it’s hard to see there was something there. And maybe this could’ve been even more evident if they looked non-white. Because historically, both black peoples and indigenous peoples went through processes of slavery, from which we as a society are still impacted today. And to slave a people, the first thing you have to do is strip them from their humanity. So it might be easier to see this situation and apply it to real life. And maybe that could lead to a whole lot of other questions regarding the Clones, the Republic, the Jedi, and even how chill Obi-Wan was about all this. We might come out of it, as lady Ursula Le Guin stated in the fragment above, a bit different from what we were before we watch it.
Maybe even unconsciously, Filoni Inc thought we would be more confortable watching if they just looked white (and because of colonialism and all that, but I’m adding thoughts here).
And of course I don’t like the idea of, idk, looking at Obi-Wan and thinking about Benedict Cumberbatch in 12 Years a Slave or something like that. Of course that, if the Clones were to play the same role as they did in the prequels, to obediently serve the Jedi and quietly die for them, that would have been bad, and hurtfull, and pejorative if added to all that I said here. But the thing is that Clone Wars, consciously or not, already solved that. At least to my point of view, they already managed to approach this situation in an incredible competent way, that is giving them agency.
2.4 AGENCY AND INDIVIDUALITY
So, one of the things I love most in Clone Wars is how it really feels like it’s about the Clones. Like, we have the bigger scene of Palpatine taking over, Ahsoka’s growth arc, Anakin’s turn to The Dark Side, the dawn of the Jedi and rise of the Empire and all that, but it also has this idk, vibe, of there’s actually something going on that no one in scene is talking about? And this something is the Clones. We have these episodes spread throughout the seasons, even out of chronological order, which when watched together tell a parallel story to the war, to everything I mentioned. Which is a story about individuals. Clone Wars manages to, in a (at least to me) very touching way, make the Clones be the heros. 
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Can you really look me in the eye and say that Five’s story didn’t CRASH you like a full-speed train???? He may not have the same amount of screen-time as the protagonists, but his story is just as important as theirs (and to me, it might be the most meaningful one). Because he is the first to break free from the opression cicle all the Clones were trapped into. 
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His story can be divided into 6 phases.
1 - First, the construction of his individuality, in other words, the reclaiming of his humanity. 
2 - Then the assimilation of understanding yourself as an individual of value, and then extending this to all his brothers, not as a unit, but as a set of individuals collectively having this same newly discovered value.
3 - This makes him realize that in the situation they find themselves in, they are not being recognized as such. This makes him question the reality of their situation.
4 - Freed from the illusion of his state, he seeks the truth about it.
5 - This then leads him to seek liberation not just for himself, but for all the Clones (it's basically Plato's Cave, and I'm not exaggerating here).
6 - And finally, precisely because he has assimilated his individuality and sought freedom for himself and his brothers, he is punished for it.
His story is all about agency. Agency, according to the Wikipedia page that is the first to appear if you type “agency” on Google, is that agency is “the abstract principle that autonomous beings, agents, are capable of acting by themselves” [4], and this abstract principle can be dissected in 7 segments:
Law - a person acting on behalf of another person
Religious -  "the privilege of choice... introduced by God"
Moral -  capacity for making moral judgments
Philosophical -  the capacity of an autonomous agent to act, relating to action theory in philosophy
Psychological -  the ability to recognize or attribute agency in humans and non-human animals
Sociological -  the ability of social actors to make independent choices, relating to action theory in sociology
Structural - ability of an individual to organize future situations and resource distribution
All of them apply here. And this is just the story of one Clone. We know there are many others throughout the series. 
Agency is what can make the world of a difference when you are telling a story about an opressed minority. Because opressed minorities do exist, and opression exists, and if you are insecure about consuming a fictional media about opressed minorities, see if they have agency might be a good place to start. So that’s why I think that everything I said before in 2.3 falls short. Because the solution already existed, and was indeed done. Honestly, making the non-agency representation of the Clones (the one we see in the prequels) to be the one played by Temuera Morrison, and then giving them agency in the version where they appear to be white, just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
And honestly, if they were to make the Clones look like Temuera Morrison, and by that mean, take more inspiration in the Māori culture, maybe they wouldn’t even have to change much of their representation besides their facial features. As I said in part 1, I am not by any means an expert in polynesian cultures, but there was something that really got me while I was researching about it. And is the facial tattoos. More precisely, the tā moko. 
2.5  TĀ MOKO
Once again I’ll be using the Te Ara: The Encyclopedia of New Zealand as source, and you can find the articles used linked at the end of this post. 
Etymologically speaking,
“The term moko traditionally applied to male facial tattooing, while kauae referred to moko on the chins of women. There were other specific terms for tattooing on other parts of the body. Eventually ‘moko’ came to be used for Māori tattooing in general.” [5]
So moko is the correct name for the characteristic tattoos we often see when we look for Māori culture. 
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These ones ^. Please also look this book up, it’s beautiful. It’s written by  Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, a New Zealand academic specialising in Māori cultural issues and a lesbian activist. She’s wonderful. 
According to the Tourism NewZealand website, 
“In Māori culture, it [moko] reflects the individual's whakapapa (ancestry) and personal history. In earlier times it was an important signifier of social rank, knowledge, skill and eligibility to marry.”
“Traditionally men received moko on their faces, buttocks and thighs. Māori face tattoos are the ultimate expression of Māori identity. Māori believe the head is the most sacred part of the body, so facial tattoos have special significance.”
[...] “The main lines in a Māori tattoo are called manawa, which is the Māori word for heart.” [6]
Therefore, in the Māori culture, there’s this incredibly deep meaning attributed to the (specific of their culture) tattooing of the face. The act of tattooing the body, any part of the body, is incredibly powerful in many cultures around the globe. The adornment of the body can have different meanings for these different cultures, but all of which I've come into contact with do mean a lot. It’s one of the oldest and most beautiful human expressions of individuality and identity. 
And in the Star Wars universe, the Clones are the group that has the deeper connection to, and the best narrative regarding, tattoos. In fact, besides Hera’s father, Cham Syndulla, the Clones are the only individuals to have tattooed skin, at least that I can recall of. And they do share a deep connection to it. 
For the Clones, the tattoos (added to hairstyles) are the most meaningful way in which they can express themselves. Is what makes them distinguishable from each other to other people. Tattoos are one of the things that represent them as individuals.
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And I’m not BY ANY MEANS sayin that the Clones facial tattoos = Moko. That’s not my point. But that’s one of the things I meant when I said earlier about the wasted potential of the representation of the Clones (in my point of view). Because maybe if it were their intention to base the culture of the clones after the polynesian culture, maybe if it were their intention to make the Clones actually look like Temuera Morrison, this could have meant a whole deal. More than it’d appear looking to it from outside this culture. Maybe if there were actual polynesian people in the team that designed the Clones and wrote them (or at least indigenous people, something), who knows what we could’ve had. 
Even in Hunter’s design, I noticed that if you take for example this frame of Temuera from the movie River Queen (2005), where we can have a closer look at the design of his tā moko
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Speaking purely plastically (because I don’t want to get into the movie itself, just using it as example because then I can use Temuera himself as a comparison), see the lines around the contours of his mouth? Now look at Hunter’s. 
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I find it interesting that they choose to design this lines coming from around his nose like that. But at this point I am stretching A LOT into plastic and semiotics, so this comparison is just a little thing that got my attention. I know that his tattoo is a skull and etc etc, I’m just poiting this out. And it even makes me a little frustrated, because they could have taken so many interesting paths in the Bad Batch designs. But instead they choose to pay homage to Rambo. And I mean, I like Rambo, I think he’s cool and all that.
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Look at him doing Filipino martial arts
But then, as we say in Brasil, they had the knife and the cheese in their hands (all they had to do was cut the cheese, but they didn’t). Istead, it seems like in order to make Hunter look like Rambo, they made him even whiter??? 
2.6 SO...
Look, I love The Clone Wars. I’m crazy about it. I love the Clones, I love their stories and plots. They are great characters and one of the greatest addings ever made in the Star Wars universe. They even have, in my opinion, the best soundtrack piece to feature in a Star Wars media since John Williams’ wonderful score. It just feels to me as if their narrative core is full of bagage, and meanings, and associations that were just wiped under the carpet when they suddenly became white. It just feels to me as if, once again, they were trying to erase the person behing the trooper mask, and the people they were to represent, and the history they should evoke.
I don’t know why they were whitewashed. Maybe it was just the old due racism and colonialism. Maybe it was meant for us to not question the Jedi, or our good guys, or the real morality of this fictional universe where we were immersed. But then, was it meant for what?
The Clones were a metaphor for what? 
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(spoiler: the answer still contains colonialism)
Thank you so much for reading !!!! (and congratulations for getting this far, you are a true hero)
SOURCES USED IN THIS:
[1] Ursulla K. Le Guin, 'The Left Hand of Darkness', 14th ACE print run of June, 1977
[2] Dave Itzkoff, 'Being Boba Fett: Temuera Morrison Discusses ‘The Mandalorian’', The New York Times, published Dec. 7, 2020, https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/07/arts/television/the-mandalorian-boba-fett-temuera-morrison.html (accessed 15 September 2021)
[3] Bruno Claessens, 'George Lucas' "Star Wars" and Oceanic art' , Archived from the original on December 5, 2020, https://web.archive.org/web/20201205114353/http://brunoclaessens.com/2015/07/george-lucas-star-wars-and-oceanic-art/#.YEiJ-p37RhF (accessed 15 September 2021)
[4]  Wikipedia contributors, "Agency," Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Agency&oldid=1037924611 (accessed September 17, 2021)
[5] Rawinia Higgins, 'Tā moko – Māori tattooing - Origins of tā moko', Te Ara - the Encyclopedia of New Zealand, http://www.TeAra.govt.nz/en/ta-moko-maori-tattooing/page-1 (accessed 17 September 2021)
[6] Tourism New Zealand, ‘The meaning of tā moko, traditional Māori tattoos’,  The Tourism New Zealand website, https://www.newzealand.com/us/feature/ta-moko-maori-tattoo/ (accessed 17 September 2021)
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solalunar-eclipse · 3 years ago
Text
45.06°N, 1.656°E
Summary: Rouge deserves more cool.
Word count: about 4200 words
Author’s Note: Hopefully my writing abilities haven’t deteriorated too much over the hiatus- but either way, please enjoy! (Side note: this is technically set after Scars You Can’t See, but it isn’t vital to read that if you haven’t already)
...
It was truly a beautiful day outside in Empire City. Puffy clouds drifted across a rich blue sky, a light breeze pushing them along as the sun shone down brightly- just enough to bring the temperature up to a comfortable range. Its rays shimmered upon one of the many tall, silvery buildings that this city was known for, threatening to leave a temporary mark on the vision of anyone who looked at it for too long. This particular building advertised itself as an insurance company’s headquarters, and it looked perfectly in place amongst all the other skyscrapers in the city.
The activities going on inside, however, were anything but ‘in place’.
Near the very top of the towering structure, a bat sat in front of a wall-sized computer screen, her black-gloved fingers flying across the keyboard. Firewalls and security systems fell like sandcastles swept out by the tide- no corner of this building was safe when she was in control. Identity checks meant nothing to her, passwords were a breeze, and two-factor authentication? A joke.
Rouge smiled in satisfaction, taking a break to stretch out her fingers now that she was successfully through the various measures designed to keep hackers like her out of these computers. With a click of the mouse and a few keys tapped, the various sums of money the people who worked here had stolen began to make their way back to their rightful owners’ bank accounts.
After all, this building didn’t actually house an insurance company. That was just a cover story for the real business here- draining the cash out of innocent people’s funds. Rouge had been determined to stop this as soon as she’d learned about it before any more people got hurt (when she stole it was usually from rich people who could afford to have one of many diamonds go missing- this was just cruel!), and now she’d successfully completed about half the job. Just returning the money wasn’t quite enough, of course- this scheme had been running for over a year now, and it was about time someone put a stop to it for good. 
That was where her friends came in.
While she manned the cameras, Shadow and Omega were grabbing plenty of physical evidence from the various offices throughout the building- more than enough to incriminate everyone who worked here. Rouge’s job was mostly to ensure that they could get what they needed without any serious trouble. It might be a difficult task, considering that Omega was set on blowing up most of the tech stored here...but she was prepared to deal with that.
The bat leaned back in her chair, catching a quick glimpse of herself in the window as she did so. Ever since they’d left G.U.N., a great perk (in addition to the lack of association with a corrupt military organization, obviously) was that they could wear whatever they wanted on the job. Before, Rouge had really been pushing it on ‘formality’ with her jumpsuit alone, and even then she hadn’t been allowed to wear anything else while on the job for the sake of ‘consistency’.
Now, in a drastic change from her usual style, she wore a tight black leather jumpsuit over a purple shirt, complete with white gloves and high-heeled boots. The latter two had neon blue accents, too, providing a burst of color as well as an actual light source to see by- perfect for dark missions.
Shadow and Omega hadn’t been allowed any personal effects re: clothing before due to the fact that a few too many supervisors saw them as weapons and not people. Rouge had of course argued against this, but there was only so much one person could do.
Now, though, the bat had insisted that both of her friends get more clothing- ‘if nothing else then to stick it to them’ were her exact words- and they had both taken to it quite well after an initial period of hesitancy. Omega in particular had been quite devastated (and then promptly offended) upon discovering that no leather jackets were currently produced in his specific size. Eventually, however, he was placated with the offer of a fedora, claiming it made him look ‘VERY MYSTERIOUS’. He had now taken to collecting hats as well as weaponry.
Shadow could fit into a leather jacket, on the other hand, and consequently owned about five of them, three of which he’d bought within the same week. Today he wore one with red stitching, and while he hadn’t had anything to say about it, Rouge had caught him admiring it in the mirror before the mission (at which point he scowled, blushed green to his ears, and teleported away).
Right now, though, he and Omega were quietly discussing which documents to take and which ones to leave behind. It would raise suspicions far too quickly if the criminals inhabiting this building came back to discover a completely bare office, after all, so they only took several receipts of major transactions as well as a list of the bank account numbers that had been hacked- and some future targets as well.
(Was this whole thing illegal? Kind of. Did anyone really mind so long as they were helping others? Not really. After all, Tails was totally not old enough to fly a plane, but at this point the government had basically thrown up their hands and said ‘whatever I guess’, so it was fine.)
“ROUGE.” Omega said suddenly, making the bat stop her musing and drop her feet from the desk. “THIS IS IMPORTANT.”
“Yeah, hon? What is it?” she asked, ready to deal with any problems that might arise.
“MY HAT KEEPS FALLING OFF. I REQUIRE SOME SORT OF METHOD TO KEEP IT ON.”
The bat sighed and gave a relieved laugh as Shadow hissed, “Omega! This is a serious mission!”
“It’s alright, Shadow. Omega, we’ll find some double-sided tape or something when we get home, alright?”
The robot paused for a moment, thinking. “THIS IS ACCEPTABLE.”
As Rouge watched, they gathered up the rest of the items and began to move towards the lobby. Today was an off day for the ‘business’, so most of the hallways would be empty. The secretary out front would take his usual break to go get lunch in two minutes as well, giving them a clear chance to escape.
And of course that was when everything went wrong.
It turned out that leaving G.U.N. (while the right idea) wasn’t without its occasional disadvantages. If they’d still been part of the military organization, then they would’ve had the resources to figure out that these criminals were more than a little paranoid, so their security system ran diagnostics every hour on the dot. When it discovered the hacking, it locked Rouge’s access to any other computer terminal and then restricted every single application on that one computer.
These people weren’t exactly beginners when it came to computers, after all.
The bat jumped out of her chair the second her computer glitched and froze, panicked. “Guys. Guys, get out of here right now.” she said urgently into her microphone. “I can bust out a window but you two have to go right now-”
She froze as, on the screen, multiple armed guards and two gigantic mechs dropped down onto the ground level and pointed their guns at Shadow and Omega. The robot moved to cover the hybrid’s back as Shadow pulled his favorite katana sword out of its scabbard.
Rouge refused to sit and watch another minute, kicking the door off its hinges hard enough to slam it against the opposite wall and tearing down the hallway to save her teammates.
Shadow and Omega fought well in the meantime, managing to take out one of the mechs and several guards too. Occasionally, Shadow even curled up and was promptly fired out of his friend’s cannon at top speed, turning into a deadly projectile all by himself.
Eventually, though, one of the guards got too smart and pulled out a stun gun, shocking Omega long enough to put the robot temporarily out of commission. Shadow spun around to defend his friend, using the Chaos Emerald he’d brought along to deliver a devastating blow- but he had nobody to watch his back now, and it barely took a minute before the mech found an opening to slam him into the wall as he dealt with the guards.
Shadow dropped to the ground weakly, temporarily unconscious. Omega was still struggling to get his systems back online.
Rouge, meanwhile, was furious.
The bat rushed to the balcony overlooking the lobby from the third floor, her teeth bared as she watched the mech move into position, prepared to bring its giant fist down on Shadow’s unmoving body. Flipping over the railing, she free-fell the three stories to the ground, slamming both heels into the marble and leaving a long crack across the floor. She snatched up the Emerald from the tile where it had fallen out of Shadow’s quills, holding it tightly in her hand. 
“Leave him alone. Now.” she snarled.
When the mech pilot gave her nothing more than a cursory glance, raising the steel fist higher, Rouge charged.
An ultrasonic shriek exploded from her lungs, making every other human in the room double over and clutch their ears. At the exact same time, the glass in the extra-tall windows of the lobby vibrated, cracked, and then shattered into hundreds of pieces.
Rouge didn’t see any of that. Rouge didn’t care about any of that. All she could see was the hedgehog she’d come to care about so much about to be crushed by someone who barely even knew his name.
She jumped up and whirled around in the air, the power of her wings suddenly (strangely) strong enough to send the mech swaying backwards slightly, before lashing out with a kick that dented the chestplate of the thing and hit it hard enough to-
-and Rouge’s eyes widened-
-to send it flying through the shattered windows and down the street that the building faced, so far that it became nothing more than a speck in the horizon.
This was, incidentally, a mech that weighed over two tons. 
Omega, near the other end of the room, silently thanked every inventor that had ever lived (aside from Eggman) that he had powered back on in time to see this.
Rouge, however, didn’t spare more than a second to think about it, instead dropping to her knees to check on Shadow. The moment she pressed the Chaos Emerald back into his hand, the hybrid’s eyes began to open slowly.
“Ugh….what happened…?”
“That moron of a pilot smacked you into a wall, hon. Are you gonna be okay?” Rouge asked, scanning his face for any sign of a concussion.
Shadow blinked twice, then suddenly sat bolt upright, his eyes wide. “...Rouge? Are you sure you’re alright?” 
The bat frowned, confused, looking over herself. “Yeah, hon, I’m….”
She froze.
While Rouge had seen many strange things in her time, the sight of her lower legs and feet glowing bright purple was certainly a first.
As she jumped back from Shadow in surprise, she let go of the Chaos Emerald in his hand, making the aura surrounding her fade. “What...what was that?”
“YOU WERE SO COOL. THAT IS WHAT THAT WAS.” Omega declared, hauling himself to his feet and walking over. “YOU BEGAN TO GLOW AND KICKED THAT INFERIOR CREATION SEVERAL MILES AWAY. THE ONLY REGRET IN THIS SCENARIO IS THAT YOU WERE UNABLE TO CONTINUE DESTROYING YOUR ENEMIES, AS THERE WAS ONLY ONE OF THEM.”
Shadow looked up at her in surprise and- was that a little bit of awe? “I should have known you’d be able to use Chaos powers!” he said, shaking his head as he got to his feet. “Incredible...it’s no wonder you’re so resilient in battle.”
Rouge pointedly ignored the light flush on her face from all of this praise. “Well, we’ve got what we came for, so there. We’ll leave all of this evidence-” and clearly she wasn’t just talking about the papers- “for that new organization the government’s setting up. What’s it called again?”
Omega shrugged- an odd motion with his bulky shoulders. “THEY’RE STILL DECIDING. HOPEFULLY IT TURNS OUT TO BE SOMETHING COOL.”
“Well, whatever their name is, it’s their job now to deal with all this.” Rouge said, gesturing around at the general mess.
At that moment, the secretary returned with his food, only to stop dead in his tracks and stare at the three members of Team Dark amongst the wreckage of two gigantic robots and a lot of broken glass.
The bat ‘s face split into a wide, wicked grin, pointing directly at him. “And you’ll be the one to explain it to them!”
(It took one extremely short chase to retrieve the man- who foolishly thought he could lose Shadow and Rouge in the alleyways- before he was tied to one of the disgustingly ostentatious pillars by Omega. The team then went home and spent the next two hours watching Rouge glow and then break things…mostly things she meant to hit.)
Several days later, her team and Sonic's crew (plus Amy Rose) were in a different city, dealing with the usual biweekly Eggman attack. This one seemed, unfortunately, to not have most of the weak spots that usually came into play when fighting one of his giant robots, as both the power source and the mad scientist in question were heavily guarded.
However, after a particularly well-timed attack from Omega, Amy, and Knuckles all at once, Rouge spotted a panel that was currently rather dented and bent open with some wiring spilling out, and knew exactly what to do.
“Shadow! Omega! Cover me!” she shouted, leaping into the air and soaring towards the robot.
Immediately, she saw several smaller robots explode in her periphery, having fallen victim to the deadly lasers and Chaos Spears that her friends used. Her focus was on one thing and one thing only, though- making it up to that panel.
The moment Rouge latched on, she pulled open the panel the rest of the way and began to rewire the machine at an impressive pace. While she might not be the same kind of tech expert as Tails, who built devices and wrote code most people with a PhD couldn’t understand if they tried, one thing she certainly knew was how to make computers do what she wanted.
Eventually, though, Eggman caught on to what she was doing and tried to swat her off his mech with its two giant metal fists. “What do you think you’re doing down there with my robot?” he shouted, swinging at her wildly.
Suddenly, one of the fists in question promptly vanished, replaced by a smoking hole and a bunch of wires where a functioning steel hand was supposed to be. Rouge, startled, looked around for what could possibly have caused this- and promptly relaxed upon seeing Omega retracting his biggest laser cannon (which was glowing red-hot) back into his chassis with a glare up at his creator.
Thankfully, he’d also provided just the distraction she needed to rewire the last few parts, at which point she jumped off just as the robot began to spin wildly...and then its entire midsection exploded, launching the command center with Eggman still inside a good fifty feet into the air.
The bat landed on the ground to cheers from her friends and took a dramatic bow. Omega clapped a hand on her shoulder in a friendly way (which meant he only knocked the wind out of her and didn’t shove her several feet deep into the asphalt) as Shadow looked on with his arms folded, but still clearly proud.
“Wow, Rouge!” Tails exclaimed, his eyes wide and smile wider. “I didn’t realize you knew your way around that kind of tech that well- you should totally stop by my lab sometime!”
The bat shrugged. “It comes with the job, that’s all.” she insisted, but internally she was more than a little surprised- it still didn’t quite come naturally to her to consider that people would be impressed by what she did. All G.U.N. had ever told her was that she’d done ‘as well as was expected’, which made it seem like her skills were just average. Seeing someone who she’d mostly considered an acquaintance telling her how incredible her skills were when to her it was just ‘something I can do’ was...pretty nice, actually.
Rouge offered him a quick grin as the other three heroes came rushing up to her in varying states of surprise and excitement. “I just might take you up on that offer sometime.”
A week after that, Team Dark was spending time at the Station Square mall together- a common occurrence for them. It had good clothes, tolerable food, and most importantly lots of jewelry stores. They were here today because Rouge’s favorite was having a sale, and she refused to miss out on any opportunity to shop for gems.
After about an hour of looking around in the store (most of which was spent attempting to prevent Rouge from emptying said store and/or sneaking things out from inside locked cases), the three finally left with about four tiny bags of jewelry, which Omega wore hooked over his fingers. “THIS SEEMS WASTEFUL, BUT ALSO AMUSING.” he’d commented, at which point the bat riding on his shoulder gasped in mock outrage and began to vehemently defend the store’s choices.
They hadn’t gone more than a few steps, though, before she heard some gasps and squeals somewhere off to the left. She sighed. Some people seemed to have this odd hero-worship thing around Shadow, but the attention only made him feel awkward, so it looked like she’d have to play guard as usual here. Drifting down from her perch as the three young women approached, she said, “Alright, ladies, what are you here for?”
The bravest of the three moved forward, clutching something in her hands. “Uh…”
Rouge prepared herself to say no on behalf of her friend, to hear complaints like ‘why can’t we talk to Shadow?? You suck”, but then-
“...can you sign this poster, please?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t— wait, what?”
The bat stared at the poster, her eyes wide. A picture of herself looked right back at her, a smirk spread across her printed self’s face as jewels dripped from the hand not resting on her hip.
The photo was rather outdated now, having been taken not long after the ARK disaster. Post-crisis, Sonic had insisted that everyone (except for Eggman, since he’d caused that whole mess in the first place) get recognition for trying to save the planet together...and that included her. 
Rouge and Sonic had both been wearing Shadow’s inhibitor rings during that photo shoot. It was their way of making sure that even though he wasn’t with them any longer, even though nobody would really remember who he was, he’d still live on in some little way without a big announcement.
She took the poster quickly, shaking off old memories, and gave them a genuine smile- rare for strangers. “Of course, hon!” she said, taking the offered pen and signing her name with a flourish and a little heart.
The one who’d asked promptly squealed and clutched at the poster, a big grin on her face. “Oh wow, thank you sooo much!” she gushed. “You know, you’re, like, my hero, right? Everyone always just, like, says that you can’t look good and be a real hero at the same time, you’re either a sell-out or too serious...but, you’re, like, both?? And that’s just so, y’know, empowering? To see someone looking fabulous and being a hero, but like not taking any nasty comments about it?”
Both her friends agreed eagerly, and Rouge found herself blushing just a little at all this praise. “If either of you have anything else, I could write something on those too,” she offered, still feeling a little bit bewildered at the moment.
This earned her two simultaneous squeals of “Really?!” followed by a lot of frantic searching for paper. Rouge was more than happy to sign her name there too, even adding a little message to each of them- and to the poster for good measure. As the three fans cheered, snapped a quick selfie with her (which was something she so wasn’t used to either), and then rushed off with a “thank you so much!!” Rouge found herself still smiling as she turned to walk back to her friends.
Shadow and Omega had moved a little ways away during all of the fuss, and now they were sporting similarly pleased expressions with more than a little bit of smugness mixed in. “SEE?” Omega asked, and Rouge could tell he’d be smirking if he were able to do so. “WE HAVE TOLD YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT YOU ARE EXCEPTIONALLY COOL. YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE US THEN, THOUGH….DO YOU NOW?” He stopped there and somehow promptly assumed an even stronger I-told-you-so air than before.
“Maybe you’ll even get your own fanclub before long...oh, wait. Look what I just found.” Shadow added, tossing his phone over to her. Only the faintest of smirks was visible on his face (they were in public, after all) as Rouge stared at the screen proclaiming the current website to be “The Official Rouge Fansite (anyone feel free to join!!)”.
The bat found herself blushing to her ears, flattered and surprised by all of the support she hadn’t known existed until now.
Omega picked her up and set her on his shoulder, turning his head to look up at his friend. “COOL PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WALK PLACES.”
“And-” Shadow added, slinging the bags she’d acquired at the store over her shoulder. “-cool people like you shouldn’t have to carry anything either.”
Rouge wondered briefly if her grin might strain her face if it grew much wider. Leaping down for a moment, she hovered in the air just long enough to ruffle the quills on top of Shadow’s head before perching back on Omega’s shoulder and patting the robot fondly. “You two dorks are the best.” she said warmly.
Shadow huffed and began to walk on ahead, clearly embarrassed. “DORK.” Omega called after the hedgehog, his eyes brightening by about fifteen percent in good humor. 
“She called you one too, you know.” Shadow replied without looking back.
“YES, BUT YOUR DORKINESS IS MORE OBVIOUS.” Omega declared, by now shouting across several stores as Rouge tried to stifle a laugh.
“If you don’t catch up and stop talking I’ll hide all the hats in your favorite store and you’ll never find them.” the hybrid growled.
Rouge promptly discovered that Omega, despite weighing a thousand pounds, could in fact move quite quickly when threatened with the loss of a chance to add to his new clothing collection. The robot fired all of his boosters at once, sending them flying down that particular wing of the mall and nearly slamming into a wall in the process.
After a spirited chase that lasted over five minutes (along with lots of shouts of “get him, Omega!” and jumping off balconies and general taunting), the group was promptly escorted out of the mall without a chance to enjoy the store they’d started the ‘fight’ over in the first place.
Rouge watched her two friends sulk for a minute before smirking suddenly. 
“Guess what?” she asked, stepping back to look at both of them.
When she had their attention, she pulled out a nice new summer outfit with a laugh…from that same place.
“You didn’t.” Shadow said, staring at the clothing.
“OH, SHE DID.” 
Rouge then proceeded to pull both a cool hat in all gold and a nice blue bomber jacket out from behind her back as well, her smile widening even more. “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you two at all. Or forgotten to pay, either.” she added quickly with a sigh. She soon shifted to watching with delight, though, as Shadow’s eyes widened considerably and Omega’s head whirled to fixate on her hand. 
“HAND IT OVER.” he ordered, holding out his clawed, metallic fingers insistently.
“Well...since you asked so rudely...no.” Rouge replied, before leaping into the sky with a grin.
“What?” Shadow gasped.
The robot’s eyes narrowed. “DON’T YOU DARE.”
Rouge flew higher at that. “Oh, but I do dare.” She wheeled around and began to fly off at top speed, snickering at the sound of indignant shouts behind her. Soon enough, she heard the swish-swish of Shadow’s skates and the clanking of Omega not far behind.
They might be able to catch her eventually, she mused, soaring through a gap between buildings- she wasn’t that fast, really. It wouldn’t be easy for them at all, though. 
After all, Rouge was just as powerful as they were, in her own way.
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asherlockstudy · 3 years ago
Text
Rhett and Link’s problems with the Enneagram
I have now watched both Enneagram EBs and the second one actually set my gears to work (So Anon here it comes! I promise it was spontaneous).
After listening to Link and mostly Rhett talk about the Enneagram again and again, I realised I have a problem but I can not place its exact root. There is either something fundamentally wrong with the Enneagram itself or maybe it’s Rhett and consequently Link who talk about it in a way that made me feel a little uncomfortable.
My problem and cause of concern was that everything that was said during the two podcasts had a clear negative tone to it. I will have to bring in myself to it to give you an example so bear with me for a paragraph. I did the test and I am a 5 (Investigator - Observer, something like that) which suits me rather well, especially since it agrees perfectly with my Myers-Briggs INTP type. The results said I was a 5w6 (essentially an emotionless analytical robot) which is definitely wrong as I am clearly a 5w4 (a sad mess who analyses the world and searches pointlessly for the true meanings in life and wants to come up with the ultimate all-encompassing philosophy). I mean, OK, they are not described exactly like that but trust me, that’s the point. But despite all the flaws associated with it, especially in the fields of socialising and tremendous procrastination due to an insane fear of failure, I am actually very much in touch with it. I revel in analysing, in trying to see the bigger picture, to make up my own theory about life and the world. It gives me fuel to go on, it fills me with excitement, it gives me a purpose.
Now, what I kept hearing from Rhett and Link are the things they would hope to run away from. I can’t seem to remember a single positive thing they said about their personalities. All traits they mentioned ( which were all pretty one-dimensional for both I dare say) were presented in the context of torturing them and having to confront them. With these insights in their personalities and the spiritual deconstructions earlier, their old (surprising back then) statement that they are “fundamentally sad people” makes more and more sense. Some of their traits, like Link’s care for perfection to the smallest detail and his moral concerns could have been neutral or positive but, no, they are almost all given as clear negatives or at least as things that have an emotional toll on them.
This gives me the impression that Link and especially Rhett have found comfort in studying the Enneagram and try to find an explanation for what they are like, to feel part of a group, represented in their misery. In short, they focus on the analysis of the flaws of their personalities as a part of who they are and avoid dealing with the root that caused said flaws. Link is more self aware while Rhett still struggles to reach the root of it, which is his childhood. Not that he doesn’t know it but he can’t just deal with the people and the situations that impacted him enough to make him a three. For instance, Rhett seems to believe that he is a natural three that his parents made manifest even more strongly. It could be the case or the threeness we observe in him is the direct product of his parents’ constant judgement. By keeping chanting he needs to “be” instead of “do”, I am not sure Rhett will achieve much. Honestly, the one impactful step he needs to take is to stop caring about what his father thinks and I am sorry to say he is still not near achieving this. Especially when I take into account how scared he was during his videocall with his dad in GMM and how relieved he looked after the call was over without drama. In short, my problem with their take in the Enneagram is that it seems that Three is Rhett’s pack of unresolved issues rather than his complete personality type.
Furthermore, Rhett speaks knowingly about all numbers / personality types which proves he consumes passionately all Enneagram information that is available. For a man of his level of active lifestyle, hectic schedule and impatience, this shows that he indeed seeks comfort in finding a detailed description and an explanation for his personality, for the way he feels and acts. What does this mean? Well, that he does not like the way he feels about himself a lot. Not only that, but he is actually in a search of self. At this point, he is no longer cryptic about it but it is more serious than he lets on. He tries to make sense of himself and he tries desperately to find something in himself to love. I hope there are people in his life who let him know that he is worthy of their love, friendship and appreciation even though he is so deep inside his head that even the affectionate feedback can only help so much. Rhett will start finding some peace only if he takes the one step I mentioned above.
And then it seems that Link’s personality type is also exclusively a byproduct of his childhood and is aggravated by his relationship with Rhett. Link’s perfectionism doesn’t cause him enthusiasm - he just dreads the disturbance of his supposedly perfectly stable world. In all honesty, Link doesn’t strike me as an ambitious person. Link would just love to have his dear routine and a loyal person to share it with. Link needs stability and companionship. He is fine with just one person as long as this person contributes to the stability of their bond. Who that one person is in Link’s life is another story…
Link doesn’t care that much about the creative process and, frankly, he doesn’t care all that much about the comedy. Link cares to keep the environment Rhett and he work stable and safe. For Link, judgement from the audience is not as alarming as Rhett’s frustration because of it. Link cares to ensure that Rhett’s idea will be successful enough to keep working and to keep working together. So Link’s entire self-identification as a one seems to stem from his fear of abandonment and worthlessness only. Link fears he has not much to contribute to Mythical and he tries to counteract that by becoming the ultimate source of management and control. Because if he didn’t even manage the company, then what would Rhett need him for? Hence, Link’s obsession for control is a consequence of his fear, he doesn’t necessarily love to be in control for the sake of it. This is proven by his plane example, which shows that he finally relaxes when he does NOT need to be in control.
Link has been working hard most of his life to ensure his position next to Rhett. This brings even more insight in his resentment for Rhett that explodes from time to time. Link resents Rhett because he tries so hard to be always by his side but due to Rhett’s opportunitism, he can’t tell whether Rhett wants his companionship or he simply needs it for their brand. Even worse, Link dreads that the reason Rhett is his friend is because Link feeds his ego with his loyalty and admiration, because he takes Link for granted and not because he loves Link for who he is.
“Do you care for me or do you revel in the fact that I care for you?”
Now, I can’t get inside Rhett’s head but I doubt he uses people. I believe his genuine care for Link can be found in the weirdest examples - those from which Rhett has nothing to gain i.e getting frustrated when Link doesn’t enjoy food as much. Yes, this is a sign of love. Rhett enjoys food so much that he wants to share that enjoyment with Link. He can’t realise Link’s tongue works differently - he thinks Link is missing out and it frustrates him. Another silly example is Rhett buying Apocalypse equipment for a clearly disinterested Link and probably never getting its money’s worth back. This is important to Rhett for some reason and he is concerned enough to protect careless Link as well despite having no personal gain from it.
The truth is that these two men feed off each other; Rhett keeps Link attached to him to always feel worthy and Link keeps Rhett attached to him to always feel safe. However, the fact that Rhett is almost his entire source of safety and that Link is Rhett’s biggest calibrator of worth is indicative of the levels of love and need. Nevertheless, Rhett and Link are not independent people. They were constantly in search of support from one another and they lost themselves in the process of satisfying others or being safe. This is something they are realising only now.
Link’s fear of abandonment is so big that it frequently leads him to an almost paranoid behaviour. It is crazy that he felt left out when Rhett communicated with the audience during a podcast whose key purpose is to… communicate with the audience. His fear here has two sides: 1) that Rhett didn’t consider him an equally important business partner so he preferred to speak directly to the audience and 2) that Rhett isn’t emotionally invested in him in order to open up to him. And by saying he can deceive people if he needs, Rhett doesn’t help Link overcome his huge insecurities. This is why Link begs Rhett to talk to him about his feelings more. He does not understand whether Rhett loves him or uses him. The notion that Rhett doesn’t truly love or appreciate him is one of his biggest fears in life.
As for Rhett, it is certainly huge growth that he starts opening up and being vulnerable to a few thousand strangers yet it all still derives from his need to be accepted by said strangers as I am afraid that the late disproportionate criticism he gets for silly stuff on Twitter and Tumblr surely don’t help him deal with his issues, no matter how hard he tries. Therefore, Rhett is trapped in a vicious circle. Besides, Rhett was overly sensitive to be hurt when Link stated the obvious; that he was being vulnerable in hopes to be understood and accepted, because that was clearly what Rhett was openly doing. However, having someone discussing openly his vulnerability immediately made Rhett retreat back to his shell because no matter how hard he tries, Rhett hasn’t managed to separate vulnerability from weakness in his mind yet.
Long story short, Rhett and Link might be Three and One respectively but I am not sure they have a good understanding of themselves anyway. They may have figured out their types correctly but they certainly narrow their entire sense of being to their unresolved issues and phobias. They entirely lack a sense of self-worth and they probably have not realised the extent of the traumas in their youth. In the Enneagram language, the nine personality types have nine levels of development. I believe Rhett and Link are either in the average levels or the mildest unhealthy level. They are certainly not in the healthy top three levels.
Their obsession with the Ennegram helps only superficially but they seem to have based an illogically huge part of their self exploration on it. The Enneagram might offer some insight but won’t offer the resolutions they long for and badly need in order to find some relief. The ones that come when you confront your environment instead of overanalysing yourself and beating yourself up because of it.
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nyxelestia · 4 years ago
Link
Vox article about the infamous wall of tags fic.
tl;dr at the end
What it’s about and why we care / article quotes:
All that, by itself, isn’t enough to make STWW remarkable — not on a website as wild and unpredictable as AO3. Yet the fic has become impossible for many AO3 users to ignore thanks to a unique quirk: Its author has linked it to more than 1,700 site tags (and counting).
Guides to how to block the fic have cropped up. For example, I use a Chrome extension that blocks fics with too many tags (you can specify how many tags is too many — I picked 50); there’s also simple site code that you can add to your custom site “skin” to block the fic completely from search results, as well as other workarounds.
But the usefulness of these options is limited. Site skins only work for logged-in users. Website extensions don’t work on mobile. Many other workarounds aren’t compatible with adaptive technology like screen readers used by disabled people and others — and if you think having to scroll past the tags on a phone is obnoxious, imagining getting stuck on it while a screen reader laboriously recites all 1,700 tags out loud.
(Emphases mine.)
My take on this specific fic:
I was sympathetic when I thought that maybe the author is just unaware of what they’re doing - but they have been made aware, they know exactly the effect they are having on other users and the community at large, and they’re still doing it.
[The author] acknowledged the controversy around their fic but emphasized that they were operating completely within AO3’s rules. “If AO3 has a category or a big red warning checkbox to say ‘click this to read crazy fics’ then I should put my fic in there,” they joked. “People are free to search (my) fic or exclude the fic using tags.”
Virtual1979 also remained steadfast when I pointed out that their fic was breaking the site for disabled users, stressing that the onus should be on AO3 — not them — to make enforceable site changes.
So now my sympathy’s all dried up. I do not remotely believe them when they say they aren’t a troll. Maybe they truly didn’t start out trolling, but they were repeatedly asked to stop, told about the impact they were having, and have themselves admitted on their Twitter account that they are laughing all the way to the bank.
A tweet they have since deleted - I did not think to grab a screenshot. So here is a screenshot of them saying they routinely delete their own Tweets, and their reaction to people who ask them to stop over-tagging their fic:
Tumblr media
Maybe they started out as a well-intentioned new poster, unfamiliar with AO3 or how tagging works. And knowing fandom, I’m sure they faced some harassment for it. However, given they’ve been repeatedly asked to stop, and explicitly told how they are negatively affected so many other users’ ability to interact with the fandom and the website as a whole...and do not care, and continue to keep at it?
Freedom of speech gives them the right to be an asshole, but it also gives me the right to call them an asshole.
But, I do understand why AO3 isn’t banning them, and I agree with AO3′s current decision not to remove this fic. There needs to be some deeper changes, but banning this specific author or fic right now would likely cause more problems down the road than it solves right now.
What is the line for “Too Many Tags”? What would it mean for authors of non-anthology works? What impact would banning this over-tagged fics have on other over-tagged-but-not-as-badly fics? What will it mean for our culture of curating your content and experiences if blacklisting tags gets compromised due to such limits?
I’ve been frustrated by over-tagged fics before, and I certainly hope this will make other, well-meaning, good-faith authors reconsider decisions while compiling anthologies of their disconnected works going forward. Neither of these mean fans should expect AO3 to respond to mob rule and ban this fic.
My take on this article beyond this specific fic:
I disagree with the implication from the article that this is related to fandom’s longstanding issues concerning racism (and other -isms and -phobias) in fanfic. After all, the vast majority of fandom’s racism, sexism, misogyny, etc. isn’t tagged. At most, you can expect that certain ships or tags probably mean there will be certain racist tropes.
This does a disservice towards fans of a ship who don’t partake in or propagate those racist tropes - I myself included in that group. I routinely got comments on my fic from people who expected me to use racist tropes and fanons because of the ship tag on my fic, as these tropes were (and really, still are) so strongly associated with the ship. More importantly, there is no reliable way to tell from a fic’s meta-data whether there will be something in the fic the author doesn’t identify.
The fundamental problem with racism in fandom is not “people are making these racist things” but “people refuse to acknowledge these things they are making are racist” - and AO3′s meta-data is entirely self-identifying.
If an author does not think their work is racist, then they will not tag it as such, which means the rest of us will have no way of knowing until after we’ve already read the racism.
“Curate your own reading” is very applicable to things authors are willing to identify and tag in their own works - such as kinks, violence, etc. But if it is something the author did not intend, and does not agree with/identify, then readers who oppose it cannot curate against it.
Which is why I find this paragraph so misleading, specifically the part I bolded:
Throughout 2020, during sustained discussions across social media about structural racism and other toxic elements in fandom, AO3 users repeatedly requested that the site add basic features that could help users avoid involuntarily engaging with fics they found toxic or harmful. For example, currently there’s no real way to officially sanction a writer who includes racist elements in their fanfiction — the site’s abuse policy FAQ doesn’t mention race, and there’s currently no way to “warn” readers about racially charged elements in a fic. (You can warn readers about other controversial fic content, like character deaths, non-consensual scenarios, and underage characters.) And there are many readers who’d like to avoid engagement with fics and authors they deem to be racist.
These are tags an author can add onto their own work...but readers cannot warn other readers about an author’s work! And to be clear, I think that’s a good thing overall - readers being able to add their own tags to someone else’s work leaves way too much room for abuse, which would happen far more than readers warning other readers about things the author refuses to identify or tag. My point here is that apart from “how to deal with works and authors you already know are assholes”, there is no connection between this specific fic and its ensuing mess, and the broader problems of pervasive racism in fandom.
The only thing the wall of tags situation and the fandom racism situation have in common, at least in relation to AO3, is that fans want to block certain authors or works whom you already know are assholes. This, the Vox article got right.
However, there are many, many ways to be an asshole other than racism. There are many reasons to block specific works or authors besides racism. There are many types of abuse and harassment besides racism. Acting as if “blocking toxic works or people” is inherently and automatically about the on-going discussions about race in fandom reduces racism to individual acts and actors, and ignores its nature as a systemic problem.
tl;dr
While there are work-arounds to avoid that fic with 1700+ tags (and others), these workarounds are very limited in their helpfulness.
Author has the right to do this, but freedom of speech also gives the rest of us the right to call them out for their poor behavior. I 100% believe they are now an intentional bad-faith actor / troll, even if they did not necessarily start out as one.
Despite my disdain, I understand and agree with AO3′s decision to not remove the fic or ban the author, however much I hate them both. All of AO3′s decisions have ramifications and implications beyond the immediate situations they are made for. This one fic/author should not get to chip away at AO3′s mission against censorship.
Apart from the very broad nature of blocking toxic people or abusive works, I don’t think this situation has anything to do with racism. Implicating individual behavior and tagging as a related referendum is reductive to the systemic nature of fandom racism.
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