#on a lighter note i think its very funny to view this like inside out where they all get the controls

[lemondoddle]

still thinking about skully bc like- do they know?? like do the ones they carry Know??? they're all in there but are they truly aware of what's happening? does amy know that alex is in there? can she remember who he was and see what he no longer is???? i'm inconsolable???????

[jeongvision]

Congratulations on 1k!!!!! So happy for you 💗💟💗❣💟💗💖💗💖💗💘💝 for the drabble request: mark lee, roommates!au, "isn't that my sweater?"

pairing. mark lee ✗ fem! reader

genre. fluff (!!), roommates au, friends to lovers au, domestic au, non idol au

warnings. listen if i don’t make you fall in love with mark lee (again) with this blurb then i have FAILED as a writer but then again this is not proofread lmao sorry

author’s note. thank you soso much, love! hope you enjoy this blurb bc i certainly did <3 this is lowkey a self indulgent piece bc i love mark lee and he deserves everything in the universe but i recommend listening to best part by daniel caesar ft. h.e.r. while reading this blurb bc /swoons such a romantic and calming song to listen to when you’re just chilling in your bedroom with someone you love c:

Very rarely do you have the privilege to sleep in on your days off. Working two part-time jobs just to make ends meet with little to no rest can really take a toll on your well-being. Even when you have a day off from one job, you use that free allocated time to run some errands, grabbing groceries or paying bills or house chores. Sure, you have a roommate to help you with some of those tasks but you feel bad for burdening him with some of your worries when he has his own problems to deal with, having also a part-time job with a career goal in mind.

But today is one of those rare days, and so you immerse yourself into dreamland, basking in the quiet morning hours of the day as the sunlight slowly trickles through your draperies, dust particles sifting through the air. The only sounds coming from your humble adobe is the slight rumbling of your central air conditioner and the occasional vibrations from your phone’s notifications, none of which awakens you from your much-needed slumber.

“You don’t know, babe

When you hold me

And kiss me slowly

It’s the sweetest thing”

Funny enough, while those sounds were much closer to you in vicinity, you found yourself waking up to a distant sound — voice, actually — one that originates to what you could only assuming to be from your roommate’s bedroom. No longer are your morning hours quiet for they are now filled with a serene voice followed by pulled guitar strings, gently pulling you out from the depths of your mind.

You open eyes and take in your surroundings, the same view every morning. Only this time, it’s feel a little different. The ambiance seems lighter, inviting almost. Instead of the regular groggy feeling you get when you wake up, you feel at peace, that feeling you get knowing that everything is going to be alright, and that everything is okay.

You smile a little at the sound of Mark’s voice. Stretching in your bed a little, you rip the sheets off your body before getting up. You grabbed the nearest sweater nearby and put it over your head, the fresh scent of clean laundry entering through your nose. Exiting out your bedroom, you walked across the hall to your roommate’s bedroom where his door lies wide open, just like you always see it.

‘My door is always open for you,’ you recalled him saying. ‘Whatever you need, whatever you want, I’m always a knock away.’

And lo and behold, as you leaned against his door frame, you find Mark sitting in his desk chair, his acoustic guitar in possession with his fingers deftly strumming the tunes of a love song. His back faces towards you, completely unaware of your presence as he is lost in his own world.

“I just want to see how beautiful you are

You know that I see it

I know you’re a star”

You feel butterflies in your stomach, your feelings fluttering inside as your roommate seranades to your favorite song. The melodies of his voice transcends through the air, dancing through as the love in your irises unconsciously coveys out to your favorite person. You never met a person like him, and you are starting to believe that it will forever be like that way because you have never felt this way towards someone before. Never once have you felt so comfortable towards someone where they can make you feel at ease, at home.

“If life is a movie

Oh, you’re the best part”

Mark Lee is perhaps the best part of your life. For someone so pure and selfless to appear in your world and befriend you is more than a wish you could ask for. That’s how you found yourself falling for him harder and harder with each passing day. No matter how busy you two are, you always find yourself back to his side seeking for the comfort he always emanates.

“If you love me, won’t you say something?

If you love me, won’t you

Love me, won’t you”

Will you ever tell him of your unspoken feelings? You’ll never know. Maybe time will tell, but for now, you’re fine where you stand in this relationship. As you stayed perched against his doorway, you knock on his door, finally capturing his attention after he finishes his song. He turns around to you and smiles.

“Hey,” he laughs. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

You smiled and shook your head. “No, you didn’t,” you lied. “I was already awake when you started singing. I just wanted to see what song you were playing, that’s all.”

He turns in his seat and places his guitar back on its stand. As he gets up from chair, he stretches his limbs, a slight groan in the process. “Yeah, it’s a song called Best Part.”

“Daniel Caesar and H.E.R.?”

He points a finger-gun at your direction. “Bingo.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Sir, I think we both know that song has been playing on repeat on my speakers before I go to sleep almost every night.”

“And that is why I decided to play it, because you put it on repeat so much that it’s now stuck in my head.”

You both shared a laugh before you softly shoved his shoulder, your morning much brighter than before when you have awaken.

“Hey, isn’t that my sweater you’re wearing?” he asks.

You look down at the sweater you’re wearing. ‘Oh, I didn’t notice,’ you thought. “Uh, I think so. I might’ve gotten it mixed up with my sweaters when I did laundry the other day,” you responded. You look up to the latter. “Why? Do you want it back?”

“No, no! It’s not that, it’s just...”

You raise an eyebrow. “It’s just?”

He nervously chuckles and scratches his head. “It.. It looks good on you.”

jeongvision’s milestone event!

[thesunshinebunny]

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part I)

Series Master list

Pairing: Canon Eren Jaeger x reader

Content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

Summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter Summary: After watching their teammates die in battle, reader begins to question their sanity and of their so-called partner.

AN: let me say goodbye to my favorite girl, who got me the best laughs and relieved my anxiety while reading manga chapters. At the same time, let me succumb to the misery and enlarge the wound with an canon Eren. I won’t be against following this fic if I see that a lot of people like it, but my list of fandoms isn’t going to change, this will be a unique exception.

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The chill in the air from the airship rushed through my veins. Less than two hours ago, I had seen countless comrades die, each one of them struck by bullets in different parts of their bodys or eaten by a Titan. I had seen countless lives fall and had been unable to save any. I knew we were going on a suicide mission, but deep down inside of me, I hoped we would all come home alive.

I was very naïve to think of a happy ending in this rotten and violent world.

Inside the room I was in, my mind wandered looking through one of the few windows this war machine gave us. I wasn't paying attention to what Levi or Eren were saying, I didn't even have the slightest intention of asking why Zeke was with us. Although being a member of the Survey Corps and a direct and in training medic, I was not fully informed of the missions. Eren’s courtesy.

Bored and mentally tired, I left the room where my leaders were having a heated discussion with "humanity's last hope." I didn't have the strength to add more charcoal to the fire, but trust me when I tell you I wasn’t at all happy with Eren's plan, simply and exclusively because I was completely unaware.

I walked down the hall making a mental note to kick the brunette in the face like Levi did when we got back. If my so-called partner, who had the decency to slowly push me away over the last year without explanation, wasn’t confident enough to tell me whatever was going on in his mind, then we would be in front of the doors of a serious conversation back home.

I opened the door where the scouts were when I heard a rifle go off. My eyes went wide and fear washed over me. I instantly scanned my body for wounds, completely ignoring the situation happening in front of me. Finding no sign of impact, I looked up only to find Sasha falling on her back, with a bullet impact on her chest.

The world seemed to have frozen as did my body. No one was able to move. Blood was spreading around Sasha's body, staining the floor, and that's when I reacted. My body moved on its own, pulling the cloak off my shoulders and folding it to make a small pillow. My ears didn’t catch any screams or cries from my teammates, as if I was underwater and the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat accelerating, threatening to come out of my ears.

"I need a syringe with anesthesia, a pair of tweezers, a needle, a lighter, bandages and hot water, NOW !!"

No one was moving, everyone was in shock, including me, but I was layered enough to know that if we didn't do something, Sasha wasn't going to survive.

"Jean, Connie, I need surgical elementes! NOW!!"

The two boys came out of it, running around the room, even going to the continuous, looking for something that might serve, while I tore Sasha's shirt and took her equipment. Mikasa was next to me grabbing the pieces that were in the way.

"Mikasa, I need you to put pressure on the wound and don’t move your hands"

Connie came running back with the anesthesia in hand, trying to give it to me, but me failing. The syringe fell to the floor, but thanks to whatever deity was watching us it didn't break. My hands were shaking with adrenaline, making it impossible for me to inject the needle into the glass vial.

“Sasha… I need you to stay awake, ok? I need you to keep your eyes open at all time"

The dying girl in front of me didn't give me an answer, but I knew she heard me. In the background, I could hear the desperate cries of the others, apart from the fact that someone had hit the culprit in the face. I injected the anesthesia and proceeded to remove the bullet from the lung. Mikasa reapplied pressure with wet cloths.

"Sasha everything will be fine, I assure you, everything will be fine, so don't you dare die on me, okay?"

I couldn't tell who I was addressing those words to, the girl who gave us the best laughs in our training days, or me.

Lighter in hand I proceeded to cauterize the wound, but my eyes fell on Sasha's, noticing how the life had left her eyes. The light that was so bright in her pupils had faded, leaving nothing more than an empty countenance.

"Sasha?...Sasha? hey, this isn’t funny, Sasha wake up…Sasha?? SASHA?!!?!" ...

"SASHA!!!"

Again.

Again I’d been unable to do anything.

Again I’d to see how I was unable to save someone.

Again.

I had seen a mate die. Again.

My chest contracted, the air was impossible to get in or out and my lungs cried out to explode. My stomach wanted to regurgitate, but there was nothing in it, causing me to spasm. My vocal cords were damaged from screaming and my head was about to collapse.

My whole body was about to collapse.

"How dare you!? You son of a bitch, how dare you to shoot the person who forgave your life?"

My anger was now directed at the child they had wanted to bring with us. It was impossible for me to look at her without having the desire to break her face, to make her suffer ... to kill her. To take revenge for Sasha.

“SHE FORGAVE YOUR LIFE BY NOT GIVING YOU A SHOT IN THE HEAD AND IS THAT HOW YOU PAY HER? YOU HATE US SO MUCH? HOW MANY MORE LIVES DO YOU WANT TO TAKE FOR US TO BE SATISFIED?"

My legs got up, leading me towards the girl, but arms held me from behind, preventing me from continue walking, preventing me from taking revenge.

"HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU? YOU ARE THE REAL DEVILS"

In the end, my body collapsed, completely loosening and causing me to almost slide down Connie's arms. I fell to my knees when he released me, snuggling up and hiding my head in my arms. Tears flowed like waterfalls with no intention of stopping and my screams reverberated across the metal in the room.

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Connie opened the door where our commanders were still arguing. Both with tears in our eyes gave the worst news of the night.

"Sasha died"

Jean and Hange's faces were disfigured and Levi hid his grim outline from us. The room was silent, but all that could be heard were my sobs, spasm after spasm.

"She had a ... a bullet impact ... in ... in the chest ..."

It was difficult, almost impossible, for me to relate the precarious medical report of our friend's death, trying to help me with the movement of my hands ... but even so the spasms won me over. I fell back to the floor, tears invaded my face once more and my ability to articulate words was gone down the drain.

Hange approached with a slow step and placed their hands on my shoulders, giving me the help I needed to give the report. I took several minutes of deep breaths and when my lungs returned to normal, I spoke again.

"Sasha had a bullet impact on the chest, on the left lung ... There was no exit, so the bullet was stuck in there...it pierced two ribs, tearing the skin of the lung and causing internal bleeding... I managd to remove the bullet, but I didn't have time to cauterize and sew the wound ... she bled to death"

Every pause I took to breathe made it so much worse for me to speak back. If it weren't for the fact I was undoubtedly taking deep breaths, I would have passed out from distress and hyperventilation.

"I could have saved her ... I know I could have saved her"

Silence reigned over the room, sobs from Hange and Connie could be heard if we were paying close attention. Jean and Levi glared at Eren, who had not deigned to lift his head at any time.

I got up as best I could, running Hange's hands gently, and left the room once again. I needed to be alone for a while, I needed to let go of these horrible feelings, I needed some air, otherwise I doubted I’d do anything rational in the state I was in.

My legs led me to a room away from all the common ones. It was empty, but it had a couple of windows that chilled the already cold metal walls. Some windows were at my height, allowing me to appreciate the view from the air, but let's face it, it was impossible to appreciate the landscape when your mind and heart were breaking to pieces. The only thing that kept my mind intact from any collapse was the path of smoke and fire that could be seen in the distance... signs that Marley was still on fire.

"Are you ok?"

That familiar voice, all too familiar, echoed in my ears pulling me out of my entrance. Eren had entered the room quietly with the aim of… what? See if it was okay? Because I really wasn't, it showed on my face and that's what made me even more angry than I was.

"Oh, I don't know? Am I ok? Do I FUCKING LOOK OK TO YOU?"

I turned from the window too quickly causing me to stagger and fall to the floor. My head was spinning and starting to ache as was every muscle in my body. I put my hands to my head, hoping the pain would dissipate a bit, but the only thing I managed was to sink further into misery.

"I could have saved her ... if I’d been faster ... I know I could have saved her"

He hadn't moved from where he was, he just stayed there, looking at me. My blood-soaked eyes looked him up and down searching for something, whatever, to speak of, but all I found were non-glare eyes and a neutral gaze, as if he hadn't cared how many lives this mission had claimed.

"Do you want to know how I feel? Fine, I’ll tell you"

I stood up heavily, my muscles begging for a break. I turned my head to see the black smoke rising on the horizon, still clearly noticing an orange and red flare.

“I am tired…I am full of rage and hate. I saw our comrades die and I couldn't do anything, I was unable to save them ... to save Sasha...and all because of not having been informed like everyone else"

My eyes hadn't left the window because I knew, if I looked into those dull turquoise eyes, those same eyes that once shone with all the innocence and life that a young man could have, I would end up punching him.

"Are you happy? Did you accomplished your mission now that you have the power of the warhammer titan? What will be the next step? Go back to Marley in a few months, finish what you started and devour the jaw titan and Reiner? Assassinate the cart titan?”

Again, I got no response. My patience had already reached it’s limit and I looked back at the man who was now standing in the middle of the room.

"You're not going to tell me, are you? No, you never say anything to me, it's like I'm a burden to you" I shuffled on the metal, standing right in front of him "I'm with so much anger in my veins that I want to kill a child, a child Eren! ... A child who had her head washed all her life, a child who doesn’t know the whole truth and who only knows that by killing she can be free"

Unconsciously, my body moved everywhere, as if it wanted to release all the pressure by tiring the muscles. I stood back in front of the window and with all the accumulated anger I gave it a strong blow, slightly scratching the glass and probably breaking some knuckles.

"Sasha died because of my incompetence and the violence of this world...I want to save lives Eren, that's why I'm practicing medicine...I want to dedicate myself to saving souls, not killing them...and we have the culprit stuck in one of our rooms...why?" ...

“WHY DO WE HAVE TWO CHILDS ON OUR AIRPLANE? WHY IS YOUR BROTHER WITH US? WHY DON'T YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD?"

I was sure that my screams could be heard by our entire war machine. I was impatient for answers, but knew I wasn't going to get any, at least not now. My hands didn’t remain calm, they moved everywhere, a sign of my anxiety and my eyes turned around the entire room, looking at each screw, each metal beam... everything except the eyes of my supposed lover.

I was giving up, now I just wanted to rest and have a trip home in peace, even knowing that home was not going to sound the same or feel the same.

"If you have nothing to say Eren, you better leave"

I turned my back on him but didn't proceed to walk away from him. I needed to find an anchor point so as not to give up and throw myself into the arms that one day gave me warmth, the arms that wrapped me in the dark, the arms that reflected their love and affection ... into the arms that now wouldn't hold me from the waist or draw me to his chest. I wasn't going to throw me into some arms that weren't going to contain me.

I heard him take a few small steps towards me and his hand rested lightly on my shoulder. I put it aside abruptly and I distanced myself towards the remote window, seeing how little by little the smoke was getting smaller and I could no longer see the orange flame clearly; now I could only see a thin yellow line fading.

"Leave Eren"

His footsteps rumbled on the metal floor, leaving me alone once and for all.

The trip back was going to be a long one and, to be honest, I wasn't sure if there was anything for me in our home. Nothing was going to be the same anymore. Without Sasha, without Eren and with a war on our feet I doubted to even call “home” a piece of wet land in the middle of an ocean which is still the target of a world full of hate.

[bigteefsmallbrain]

General Soul Eater HCs please

Soul Eater: General headcanons

Death the Kid:

He’s an art critic

Hear me out

He is obsessed with symmetry, and loves the beauty in it

So when he sees something non-symmetrical, especially in art, he can’t help but to critique it

May go as far as to send a personal letter to the artist (If they’re alive) about how offensive it is that they created something so asymmetrical

If he can’t send a letter to the artist, he’ll send one to the owner/museum and request it be taken down, while listing reasons why it’s horrible.

Anything he writes has an even amount of letters and words

Be that his test answers

Essays

Letters

Diary entry

Speaking of diary entries, he definitely has one

But it’s actually just a catalogue of symmetrical things he’s seen

He puts photos into it and writes about how beautiful it was to see

He doesn’t care what it is much, just that it was beautiful

Meaning he takes photos of people too

Which can be unnerving at times

He’s probably taken a photography class before, or at the very least is self taught

Literally has a photo album of things he views are beautiful, but non symmetrical and he would die if anyone found it

Like a particular sunset with uneven hills

Or a flower with one too many petals

Definitely has an 8 ball, not a magic one, just an 8 ball, it’s placed on a velvet pillow in his room and he frequently polishes it

Elizabeth Thompson:

Makes several backup plans as a way to cope

Especially after dealing with an experience with a ghost

She has notebooks full of them, labeled and detailed

At one point she started putting them in alphabetical order but stopped immediately when she realized Kid’s perfectionist habits were rubbing off on her

She practices acting in the mirror

Usually so she can charm a man into dating her

But also to con people

She used to be a “Street rat” and that thought of ending up on the streets again constantly plagues her mind

She takes full advantage of the “Rich life”

Shopping sprees

Quality makeup

Salons and spa days

The works

She lets Patty’s thought that she knows everything get to her head

The fact alone that her sister believes in her that much is enough to make her a bit egotistical

And Patty’s admiration for the girl makes it ten times worse

She literally doesn’t care if she ends up being wrong because she’ll just be right next time anyways

So stubborn in that aspect

Patricia Thompson:

She likes dark humor

You can’t convince me otherwise, you actually can’t, I have evidence

She made an origami Giraffe, and broke its neck

Laughed when Kid said he “wants to die”

She literally pokes him with a stick when he’s depressed

She likes dark humor, and probably looks up jokes to tell others just for kicks

She’s secretly sadistic, and likes scaring her sister and others

She may act naïve and innocent, but she is anything but

She definitely has, more than once, banged on Liz’s door at 3AM just to hear her sister squeal like a little girl

Honestly, she probably purposefully gets their pose wrong, just to see her sisters annoyance and laugh when Kid gets smacked

She likes origami

Probably first got into it because of the paper ninja stars

Then just found it relaxing

She most likely makes the ninja stars mostly, and keeps a box of her origami creations somewhere

Has in the past, and will not hesitate to do so again, beat someone up for kicks or just to destress

Patty has two faces, the childlike innocent one, and the insane anger one

So it’s not too far fetched to say that she’ll hide her anger till she can corner someone alone and beat them up

Or that she gets bored and decides to do so

I wouldn’t be too surprised if her sister occasionally joined as well

Maka Albarn:

She’s a Harry Potter nerd and you can’t convince me otherwise

She loves the concept of magic

Loves the dynamic between Ron and Hermione, though feels a bit of Deja vu thinking about it

Probably used to write fanfiction, but in a way that made it seem like it was actually part of the story

She will hit you if you mention it

Definitely the type to compare books to their movie counterparts

Not in like, a critic way, but she will definitely rant about the differences, or how a character looks exactly like she imagined, or if they didn’t put in a particular scene she liked in the book

Forces Soul into movie nights, but it’s only the movie counterparts to her books

I can see her forcing everyone into a group study session

Be super organized about it, and setting it up in a way so that no one can refuse

She probably has specific ways for everyone to study

Like having Black☆Star work out while studying so he retains the knowledge better

Or setting up the session in a symmetrical way so Kid doesn’t freak out about it

She writes letters to her mom, as a coping mechanism for when her emotions get to be a little too much

Like when she’s having a bad day

Or if she’s particularly peeved at something Soul did

She writes a lot more letters when it comes around the time of her mom's birthday or death anniversary

She likes the thought of an old timey romance, and often listens to songs that give off that kind of feel

She really likes “It’s Been a Long, Long Time”, it’s one of her favorites

She also likes the old Disney songs, like “Once Upon a Dream” and “So This Is Love”

She would be so embarrassed if anyone found out though, especially if it was her dad or Soul

She isn’t quite sure why she’s so worried about Soul finding out though

Speaking of, she half realizes, half doesn’t with anyone's romantic feelings, including her own

She’ll fantasize about getting a love letter or having someone present her with a bouquet of roses

But if it actually happens she’s like “Oh, thanks friend!”

She knows the behaviors, she just can’t put two and two together

They would have to be extremely blunt, no over dramatic confession, just “I’m in love with you and want to be romantically involved with you”

She reads dictionaries for fun

She really likes to read out of date dictionaries, just to see what words and slang existed back then

She also highlights words she likes and uses them frequently on accident

She has most definitely yelled “I have cupid’s kettlebells*! I’m not flat!” at Soul before

Soul Evans:

Bottles. Up. His. Emotions.

He’s influenced by “toxic masculinity” and fully believes that being vulnerable in a serious way “isn’t cool”

He will bottle everything up so deep down inside that it seems impossible for it to surface

Feelings of inferiority to others? Bottled

Want to cry or break down? Nope, gotta be cool

Started crying in front of someone and can’t stop? He’s not crying, you’re clearly blind

Speaking of crying, once he starts, and I mean genuinely starts, it’s so hard to get him to calm down, and even then the tears don’t stop

Sometimes he’ll start to freak out and send himself into a panic attack because the tears just won’t stop

He’s that influenced by the thought of being vulnerable

On a lighter note, he does adore playing the piano, but the only person he’ll play for is Maka

He swears it’s not favoritism, and it’s partially true, but favoritism does play a large role in it

He frequently drags Maka to his room to show her a new piece he put together

And if he notices her feeling a little down that day, he’ll start playing a song that he knows she likes

He definitely knows about her love for old timey romance songs and is very embarrassed to admit a lot of the pieces he constructs are based off of that

The walls are p a p e r t h i n , he can hear her music through the walls

He secretly finds it adorable when he catches her listening to it because she’ll be dancing around to it

He also frequently finds himself thinking about those moments

He’s the stereotype that parents tell little girls about, with how boys will bully their crush

He’s a lot more playful and easy going, but still teases Maka, so much

Unlike Maka, he’s fully aware of his feelings, and acknowledges them, but bottles it up, only letting himself entertain the thought every once in a while

He jabs at Maka’s lack of “Cupids Kettlebells” as a way to try and ensure she won’t fall for him, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she does

He reads the same dictionaries that Maka does, not for fun, but so he can know just what the actual h e l l she’s saying

More than once he’s had to look up a particular word or phrase online because he can’t find it in the dictionary

“What the hell? It’s an old Victorian saying!? Where does she keep finding this stuff!?”

Subconsciously, as time goes on, he starts using old phrases as well, he was so embarrassed the first time he got caught saying “Keep your idle daddles* off of her!” when defending someone from a perv.

Black☆Star:

Is so unbelievably selfish with food

It’s not even funny

He will stab someone if they reach for his food

He surprisingly eats healthy most of the time though?

Says something like “I have to otherwise I’ll never surpass the gods!”

The only person who could ever p o s s i b l y steal his food is Tsubaki, but even that’s pushing it

He has the weirdest dreams, and I mean weird

Dreams like being turned into a potato and being cooked, mashed, and devoured by Tsubaki herself

He didn’t talk to her for a week after that dream, and refused to eat potatoes for a full year because “You never know if it could be a person turned into a potato!”

He was also very offended when Tsubaki ate potatoes during that time period

He takes things very literally

Like up above, if someone does something in a dream, he acts like it was real

Or if someone makes a joke about fighting, he will drag them outside to fight

He’s secretly scared of Tsubaki

But it’s for literally the stupidest reason

And he fully believes that because of it she could fight god and win

She used to have a pet cockroach

One of the flying ones

And he is so unbelievably scared of them, because for some reason they just don’t die, and they have w i n g s

So the fact she owned one as a pet scares him so bad even though it was literally for only a week

He has a soft spot for children

He doesn’t really know why

He just does

Is secretly really good with kids

Literally the definition of dad material

He has his flaws but still

Little kids are the only people who could steal his food and get away with it

Every. Time. and it makes the others so mad

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa:

What can I say, she’s perfect

She probably receives love letters

Reads them over when she’s feeling sad

Likes to keep them in a shoebox she painted

She definitely paints to unwind and relax

Likes to go outside and paint the sunrise/sunset

Takes note of beautiful scenery so she can come back in her free time and paint it

She probably draws/sketches too

Carries a sketchbook with her

More than likely has drawn Black☆Star doing something

Like napping or training

She’d never show him though, too scared of inflating his ego or giving him the wrong idea

Stress bakes/cooks

We know she cooks

Liz took advantage of it and pretended Tsubaki’s cooking was her own

So we know she does

Sometimes painting/drawing doesn’t cut it

So she heads to the kitchen and bakes away her worries and unwinds

The main reason Tsubaki would possibly be spared from Black☆Star’s stabbing habit with food is because she cooks all the meals

She makes sure everyone is comfortable around her

She’ll go as far as to learn someone's customs and practice cooking their unique cuisine just to make sure that they feel comfortable and safe in her presence

She radiates mom friend energy

She’s perfect mom material, perfect wife material, perfect in general honestly

*Cupid's Kettlebells is a old term for a woman's bust

*Idle daddles is a old term for hands

I Hope you like these general headcanons for the main seven! You didn’t say which characters you’d like to see, so I played it safe by putting the main characters! Thank you for the ask!

[crispyjenkins]

hi! i am just very confused about one of ur posts with the mandalorians and cultural genocide and was wondering if maybe you can explain more? i thought mandalorian culture was about like family and arts with the colors and stuff? is it really just about war? i know a lot of people headcanon that the clones are mandalorian but now i feel uncomfy about putting a warrior culture on characters played by a maori actor, whose people still struggle with martial race stereotypes today :(

hello!! i am absolutely not an authority on this topic, so i’ve compiled a bunch of posts that explain it better than me, but short answer is: mandalorian culture is not all about war. there is a ton of intention put into mandalorians (specifcially not death watch, who literally fought in the civil war because the true mandalorians were like “maybe stop pillaging and killing people for no reason” and they didn’t want to stop; or the new mandalorians who threw out every god and myth important to the true mandalorians, as well as its language, cultural importance/sacredness of armor, religious customs, etc, because Satine interpreted true mandalorian culture as nothing but war, but that is extremely extremely not the point of the resol’nare or the codex) and how they draw on Māori culture and customs, because temuera morrison played jango fett in the prequels.

your concern is so so valid and absolutely something to keep in mind when interpreting “canon” and “legends canon”, but satine’s take on true mandalorians is inherently false.

links under the cut with a lil explanation for each! (edit: this is long as fuck, i’m so sorry 🥲)

we’ll start with this one which is from star wars insider issue 86, because it covers a lot of the basics of how eu and legends wrote mandalorians. HOWEVER, also keep in mind this groundwork was all laid by karen traviss who is a racist, sexist, classist, homophobic dirtbag, like i don’t even know where to begin with her, but her early work for jango fett in the republic commando novels is still important to understanding mandalorian culture in current continuities. (i also believe this issue was from before clone wars began airing)

this one goes more in depth than the post i recently reblogged which i think you’re referring to, about the imperialism of the new mandalorians and their cultural genocide of true mandalorians more or less based on satine kryze’s experience with death watch, a splinter cult off of the true mandalorians (i’m using cult intentionally here, btw) who literally just didn’t want their murdering and stealing to be regulated.

this post is about mental illness in true mandalorian society, which is intrinsically tied to the root of true mandalorian and early mandalorian religion and daily culture, and the concept of fighting stagnation and destruction/war against the things that are choking you and stopping self growth, it’s not about conquering people or planets, it’s about bettering oneself constantly, based on the mandalorian creation myth ( @izzyovercoffee goes more in depth with this in the post). death watch, and many fans, interpret this ideology as the right to violence and the destruction for destruction’s sake, which isn’t what it’s about at all.

alright this one is directly related to the concepts of the last one, and surmises a lot of the points, and is maybe the easiest post in my list for a quick understanding of mandalorian philosophy?

here’s a shorter post that gives a little more insight/reiterates new vs true mandalorian ideology, because lord knows my autism brain likes more than one way of explaining something.

this one is an interpretation of canon and new mandalorian imperialism, which is technically headcanon, but boy howdy does canon not disagree with it, and forms the basis of my own interpretation of mandalorians as a whole

here’s a cool post going into the language mando’a and how it cannot be separated from culture, which i think is incredibly important to keep in mind when looking at new mandalorians and how they don’t use mando’a.

more explanation and interpretation of new manadlorians and their portrayal in the clone wars, and why it’s important against all the canon content we got before clone wars aired

this one is from before boba’s return to “canon” material in season two of the mandalorian where he and jango were reconfirmed as mandalorians, but is still super, super, super important in relation to mandalorian diaspora, and the way writers cannot separate mandalorians from their roots in māori culture, when it was created because temuera morrison played jango fett and his clones. also goes into how important “family without blood” is as the basis of mandalorian family and cultural structure, which explains a lot about the show the mandalorian!

this one’s just a cool take on the parallels between mandalorians and jedi, who are also rather disgustingly misinterpreted by fans (interestingly as the opposite, as complacent and too bureaucratic vs the violent and imperialist take most have on mandalorians).

here’s a post going into how din djarin’s tribe/sect in the mandalorian tv isn’t a cult, and how that relates to bo-katan kryze, her position with death watch, and her connection to the new mandalorians because of it.

okie the next few are about how māori customs, things of cultural significance, etc are intentional in the portrayal of (true) mandalorians

this one is about the keldabe kiss or the kov’nyn, forehead-kiss, headbutt 

this one is a video of boba fighting set to te reo māori thrash metal, and a short explanation of the importance of the battle its about, which i think is important in remembering that while the māori people today do suffer from awful marital stereotyping, you cannot divorce them from their own form of warrior culture without erasing that history or importance; there isn’t anything inherently wrong in warrior cultures, just how white people interpreted and appropriated it.

THIS ONE I LOVE and is mr morrison himself bringing the traditional māori dance the haka into boba’s fighting style in the mandalorian tv, as well as the use of māori-style weapons 

which also relates to this post by @catboydindjarin

and sums up my feelings on associating mandalorians and the māori people, how important jango and boba fett have been to people like temuera morrison and daniel logan (who played lil boba in atoc) and bodie taylor (who played the mid-20s clones). as a white person, it’s incredibly important for me to remember the stereotyping and violence still being done to indigenous and first nations people, and to be aware of and respectful of how i use and take pieces of the those cultures in anything, but especially fictional aliens. but to pretend forms of battle, pretend weapons and songs and philosophies that do involve violence were not and are not still culturally important to those peoples is erasure, and is what satine kryze chose to do when faced with a completely different people’s violence.  to separate (true) mandalorians from the māori people is to erase them from the narrative completely.

so!! on a lighter note, here’s a post with bodie taylor and captain typho’s actor jay laga’aia performing haka with mr morrison during an aotc press event

here’s an excerpt from one of the repcom novels about jango being a Dad and how important children are to the true mandalorians 

it won’t let me upload gifs at the moment so here’s a post of several delightful gifs of mr morrison on set for aotc with a rainbow umbrella

here’s one that touches on the importance of armor color as you mentioned in your ask

this wonderfully funny textpost from @letitrainathousandflames that illustrates more of the mandalorian parental instinct (which is shown time and again in extended/legends canon to be more important than “war” or battle)

here’s some highlights from the eu about boba reconnecting with his mandalorian heritage after jango’s death

this one is a short post by @jester-mereel about what jango chooses to be jaster’s legacy, which is vital because jaster mereel the one who created the super commando codex and the true mandalorians, is the one who looked at how people like tor vizsla were using their heritage and thought “we can do and be better than this”

here’s the wookieepedia article on jaster mereel (all wookieepedia stuff should be taken with a grain of salt, of course, especially in regards to the jedi order but that’s another matter)

here’s the wookieepedia article on the supercommandos, which is what earlier material referred to the true mandalorians as, basically the commandos that followed jaster and the supercommando codex

here’s the one on the codex if you want to jump to that specifically

this is an actual copy of the basics of the codex as well as the resol’nare or six tenants, which existed far before jaster, but what jaster used as the ethical basis of the codex (the site is written from the point of view of a supercommando, just a heads up if that’s confusing)

here’s the wookiee article on death watch, i trust you to keep an open mind and don’t take anything said by the vizslas or bo-katan at face value, because, again, they splintered from the supercommandos because they wanted to keep stealing and killing people just because, and used the “savage warrior past” of mandalorians to excuse it

here’s the mando’a dictionary that’s most accessible, also remembering that translations are interpretations (specifically the discourse about “k’atini” comes to mind) and is constantly being revised

and then some of my favorite excerpts from it, in relation to what mandalorians actually find important:

“Ni kyr'tayl gai sa'ad” | adoption vow - lit. “I know your name as my child.” (meaning adoption is no less important than blood heritage, and in some interpretations is actually more important)

mandokar | the *right stuff*, the epitome of Mando virtue - a blend of aggression, tenacity, loyalty and a lust for life (and aggression does not always mean violence)

“Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la.” | “Nobody cares who your father was, only the father you'll be.” (Lit: Bloodline is not important, but you as a father are the most valuable thing.) Mando saying emphasising the importance of a father's role, and that a man is judged more by that than his lineage. (this dictionary chooses to gender things unnecessarily, when words like “buir” are gender neutral, but you get the gist: parenthood is very important to mandalorians, which is of course the entire basis for the mandalorian tv plot) 

demagolka | someone who commits atrocties, a real-life monster, a war criminal - from the notorious Mandalorian scientist of the Old Republic, Demagol, known for his experiments on children, and a figure of hate and dread in the Mando psyche (again, children being more important than violence)

bajur | education, the raising and nurturing of children - a wider meaning than just school work, includes preparation for life and survival Aliit ori'shya tal'din | Family is more than blood.

shereshoy | lust for life and much more - uniquely Mandalorian word, meaning the enjoyment of each day and the determination to seek and grab every possible experience, as well as surviving to see the next day - hanging onto life and relishing it. An understandable state of mind/ emotion for a warrior people. Closely related to the words for live, hunt and stay safe - and, of course *oya*. All from the same root.

and since you mentioned color, this post is so feckin cool as it talks about white =/= purity, and goes into quite a bit about the “destruction” in mandalorian culture being about the rebirth, not the violence

and then here’s a few links to content in the mandalorian tv

“the poc experience of keeping ur mouth shut bc ur too tired to argue w/ a white person“ about boba downplaying his mandalorian-ness to bo-katan, a known violent xenophobe 

more on din’s sect the children of the watch not being a cult vs death watch

some cool thoughts on the differences in how boba and bo-katan interacted with din during season 2 which i think is important in terms of illustrating the differences between death watch and true mandalorians, again

a cool dialogue on din and removing his helmet in season 2 and his religious/cultural views in relation to being mandalorian

i spent like three hours on this and i definitely only meant to give you like. five links. but uhhh i hope this helps!! feel free to shoot me further questions, but just keeping in mind i am not māori and cannot speak to the māori experience in fandom or in regards to jango fett and the clones.

i hope you’re safe and well!! 🌻

[calpops]

help | c.h.

Calum finds that navigating parenthood on his own can be hard but his friends will always be there to help. Based on the prompts: “you’re not alone”, “thank you, for everything” and “dance with me”.

1.5k words

Hood Family Masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).

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Nights that were once peaceful and curtained in a familial bliss became a struggle. Calum and his kids usual nighttime routines were flipped upside down the day his partner and their mother walked out of the door. Only a month had passed and the toll it was taking was weighing heavy on the broken family. What once was bedtime stories and being tucked in extra tight with giggles and good night’s became late nights with heartache and questions with no answers. Calum’s son Declan was only three and fighting to try and find a semblance of understanding to something inexplicable. He didn’t want to go to bed; he was scared that Calum may not be there when he woke up. No matter how many times Calum promised he wouldn’t leave Declan’s trust and hope was already shattered by someone who’d made and broken those same promises. And with his one year old daughter Addie in his arms the fight felt futile. Declan was strong willed and heartbroken. Calum hurt for him, for Addie and for all of the relationships tattered in the fray.

Calum was exhausted. Dark circles painted themselves under his dulled eyes and languid motions accompanied him through long days. Declan was back at preschool after a couple of weeks staying home. But Addie was with Calum day in and day out. Daycare was an option but with a heart that hurt and a yearning need to keep his kids close Calum chose to keep Addie with him. At least for a little while longer. The band was in stride, working on a new album though the prospect of touring with Calum’s new situation was looking fragile. He’d bring Addie to the studio and writing sessions; his band mates always welcomed her with open arms and suggestions that they could look after her for a while—if Calum needed a moment for himself. He’d yet to do so, always powered through the exhaustion and hurt. Always kept her and Declan as close as possible. Tried to stay strong for all of them.

That strength was beginning to crumble; his resilience was breaking and sheer exhaustion was winning. One night felt heavier than most. Late hours were filled with more tears and questions than ever before. It was nearly one in the morning when Calum finally picked up his phone. He was hesitant; not wanting to wake Ashton or his family at such an hour, but with Declan in hysterics and Addie unable to sleep, he felt he couldn’t handle it alone. Not tonight. He swallowed his pride and dialed, it rang only once and he didn’t have to say anything more than a cracked hello before Ashton told him he’d be over in a minute. Living so close by lent truth to Ashton’s words but even a minute felt like a lifetime. It took all of the strength left in Calum to pick himself up off of the couch with Addie in his arms and Declan trailing him to get the door. An instant sense of relief washed through him when Ashton pushed his way through and began taking control of a situation Calum nearly felt helpless and hopeless in.

“Declan,” Ashton began, his stern fatherly voice taking hold. Usually it was reserved for when one of his flock ran a little too wild. But this time there was a presence of softness and understanding. “You need to go to bed.”

Declan, with tears still in his eyes and a staunch stubbornness innate within him, simply said no. It wasn’t funny; the nights of no’s and tears were heavy and becoming a problem. But the dry laugh that spilled out of Calum may have indicated otherwise. If it weren’t for the tilt of Ashton’s head at the simple word of defiance or the way his jaw went slack, laughter wouldn’t have been his first response. Calum could only watch the rest of the exchange as he gently bounced a stirring Addie, hoping it might lull her.

“No?” Ashton asked as he bent down, one knee hitting the tile floor and hands settling on his other leg. Declan stayed contrite in his answer with crossed arms. “Why?”

Declan merely shook his head and planted himself firmly at Calum’s side. A few minutes of bargaining and begging ensued, a small bribe and an eventual agreement got Declan’s hold off of Calum and scooped into Ashton’s arms instead. Calum felt a pang as Ashton walked off with Declan, a tightness in his chest that ached and wondered if he was doing the right thing; if he was doing right by his kids and handling everything well. Through the pain and doubt a small noise cut through, Addie’s giggle settling his worries as he looked at her in all of her innocence and love. She stared back at Calum, now more awake than ever, brown eyes big and small curls wild as another little laugh escaped her.

“What’s so funny, little lady?”

Calum wasn’t expecting her to answer and was startled when Ashton’s voice rang out instead. “He knocked out as soon as I turned the lights off.”

“Good,” Calum notes; unsure how Ashton even managed to get him so far as into bed. Most nights Calum couldn’t get him down the hallway and usually ended up with Declan restless in his bed for the night. “He’s overtired. Needs to get some sleep.”

“And so do you,” Ashton quipped with a raised eyebrow and gesture to hand Addie off to him.

Calum quickly shook his head and held her just a bit closer. “It’s okay, I can get her to sleep.”

“She’s wide awake and you’re half asleep on your feet.”

Calum considered that for a moment. Felt the weight of Addie in his tired arms, the weakness in his knees and the gentle sway of his body begging him to rest. He ran his fingers gently through her curls and gave her one last kiss before reluctantly letting Ashton take over. He wasn’t sure how he managed to bring himself to bed, always noting the absence of another on the left, or how he fell asleep when his life was spiraling out of control. But when morning came and the house was silent Calum realized he hadn’t slept so well in weeks. Panic cut through him when blurry numbers on the clock came into view. A blinking ten am stared back at him and prompted him to jump up and rush to the living room. He caught his breath and a subtle wind of confusion when he saw Luke on the couch, coddling Addie.

“Where’s Declan?” Calum asked abruptly and tacked on, “and Ashton?”

Luke turned to face Calum and then shot his eyes towards the front door. “Ash brought him to preschool. Said he was gonna get you some groceries after. Called me for backup with Addie. She had breakfast and helped me do the dishes.”

Calum relaxed. All the tension he had been holding inside began to ease at the help from his friends. The kitchen was cleaned from its once perilous state of dishes stacked in the sink and food cluttering the countertops. Calum sighed, shook his head and felt his heart drop. He hadn’t meant for their world to be spun so far into chaos. He had been trying to keep his head above water and his kids afloat for weeks. Last night they sank.

“I’m sorry,” Calum whispered as he joined Luke and Addie on the couch. “I’m sorry you guys got pulled into all of this. I should be doing better on my own.”

Luke scoffed, eyebrows knitting together and an incredulous look capturing his eyes. He shifted, moving to better face Calum and keep Addie comfortable in his hold. “You don’t have to go through this alone. You don’t have to be sorry for needing help. We love you and the kids, we’re gonna be here for you whether you like it or not.”

A dry laugh escaped Calum and an appreciative head nod followed.

“Besides, I don’t think I’m ever letting go of Addie,” Luke continued and gave her a small squeeze. “She’s mine now.”

Calum shook his head and reached his arms out. “Luke, give me my baby.”

Luke grinned then scrunched up his nose as he looked at the sleeping baby in his arms. “No, maybe later.”

Calum could only laugh at the exchange and found himself feeling much lighter by the time Ashton was walking through the door with bags of groceries in his grasp. When all was put away and Addie was put down for a proper nap—Luke being very reluctant to let go—Calum took a moment to express his appreciation.

“Thank you guys, for everything. I don’t—I don’t think I can do this alone.”

“You won’t have to,” Ashton reaffirmed Luke’s earlier sentiment. “We’ve got you. Why don’t you go get some extra rest. Mike’s gonna pick Declan up from school and bring him to dance practice—we’ll have a big family dinner tonight. You don’t have to do a thing.”

Calum nodded as he realized how much he missed the company of his friends and their families. That they truly were all one big family. His kids would always have him and the extra love of their extended family. He came back to the surface in a gentle float as he reminded himself he’d never have to go through anything alone—all he had to do was ask for help.

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[kinkymankey]

Shantae: Half-Genie Housewife Part 2

It is just around afternoon, as the whirlwind deposits Shantae down on the pier. In front of her stood her lighthouse home, and even though it was well kept it had the feeling of being dingy. “What a state!” She exclaimed, almost in disbelief. “Looks we have some work to do babies,” she says as she pats her belly. “First, a change of clothes,” she declares as she walks inside.

On her first floor was her kitchen, made up of a stove top, an oven and a couple cabinets, joined with a small table with chairs for a impromptu dining room. Some pots and pans hung on the wall alongside a few shelves, and closer to the door was a dry sink with a few books and decorations on it. A rope hung in the middle of the room, leading to the second floor.

Shantae sighed, taking hold of the rope. “However did I manage?” She began climbing up the rope, and though it was quite an effort, she made it to her bedroom with general ease. “Goodness! I should invest in some stairs. Be safer for the babies anyways.”

She looks around her bedroom, which is quite simple. From where the rope hung, a hammock was set up in front of her on two posts, with some sheets hung on it. Above it was a shelf full of books, and to its side was a short nightstand. A bit aways from it was a large brown wardrobe, though some long clean and dried clothes still hung from lines above the room. A gas lamp hung from the ceiling, and behind her was a open window, which was where the lighthouse used to shine its light from.

“Goodness, what a mess,” she exclaimed to herself, beginning her search for some clothes. Opening her wardrobe, she began sifting through it broadly. “No dresses? What have I been doing? Come on, I must have one...ah, this will do.” She pulled out a yellow flowy dress, with some lighter streak of yellow patterning it. She quickly took off her current outfit, hanging it back up in her wardrobe neatly, and pulled her sole dress she owned; she then undid her ponytail, taking a bandana instead to hold the hair out from her face.

“Hmm, none of these look very comfy,” she mused as she looked through her shoes, neatening them up as she went. “Hmph. Ah well, I’ll just go barefoot for now. Besides, it’s time to tidy up this room a bit more thoroughly.”

She slid down her rope and came back up with a bucket of water and a cloth, going down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor. It was a bit of a struggle, her belly getting quite in the way, but she eventually got the floor to shine.

“Perfect,” she smiled proudly, wiping her brow. Her gaze turned to the window. “I think you could use a little once-over.”

She waddled over and scrubbed up the window, providing a clearer view of the town. “There we go! Much brighter, too.” She pauses to look at her progress, cradling her belly. Her eyes soon drift to her hanging clothes and unmade hammock. She shook her head but smiled. “More work for me.”

She started with her hammock, trying her best to get the sheets as even as she can across it. “I should probably get a bed that isn’t a hammock, especially so close to my due,” she talks to herself as she works. “It’s probably a wreck on my back, anyways.” Finishing that, she moved onto her clothes, pulling them down from the lines.  She hung up her day clothes and folded up her pajamas.

“There. Much less cluttered,” she smiled, looking around at her work. Suddenly, a realization hits, and she palms her forehead. “I don’t even have a crib yet!” She exclaimed. “I need quite a bit actually. Should probably get a list together.”

Finding some paper and a pencil, she sits by her window and begins to write. “Let’s see...shoes, dresses, crib,” she mumbles to herself, underlining ‘crib’ in particular. “A bed for myself, probably some new sheets with it, some more baby supplies…”

She looked over her list, and nodded. “That should be it. Looks like I am off to the shops today.” She tucked her list away and carefully began down the rope. Partway down, she catches the stove and oven of her kitchen again. “I guess they could use a cleaning, too,” she assumed, shimmying back up to grab her bucket and rag before finally returning to the ground floor. She also did up the floor, chairs and table as well, since she was down there.

Thinking of which, Shantae checked the cuberts, finding them near bare save for some tea packets, a piece or two of fruit, and a few pieces left of a full loaf of bread. “Oh my! Nothing to eat? No ingredient?” She huffed, placing her hands on her hips. “How silly. Honestly, I can’t believe how silly I was.”

She pulls out her lists and quickly adds all sorts of fruits, vegetables, ingredients and sweets to it. She also added a ‘perhaps’ with a note for a new table and chairs; the one’s she had were fine, but it never hurts to think ahead. Speaking of which, she thought as she looked around her, I need to make things a little safer for the little ones. She stroked her belly, and jotted down ‘baby proofing’ to her list.

As she does that, a knock comes to her door. “Coming!” She chimes sweetly, tucking her list away and waddling to the door.

“Hey, Shan--!” Sky began as the door opened, but seemed to pause and even do a double take. “Shantae?”

“Sky!” Shantae smiled, pulling her friend into a hug. “It’s so good to see you! Come in, come in!”

A bit of a shocked look stuck to the bird keeper’s face, seemingly freezing it as she followed Shantae in. She slowly loosened up as it melted into a look of confusion and hesitance. “Hey, Shantae. Why, uh, why exactly are you wearing a dress like that?”

“Because it’s comfy, silly,” she giggles, heating up the stove and putting a water filled kettle on. “Terribly sorry, I haven’t had a chance to get any food or goodies today, so you’ll have to take your tea on its own.” She sighed.

“It’s cool, I’m not hungry,” she nods slowly and hesitantly. Tea? Why the heck is she serving me tea? “Hey, uh, Shantae. You when I joked, about you going barefoot and pregnant, I, uh, didn’t really think you would.” She laughed a bit awkwardly.

“Why wouldn’t I?” She asked genuinely, getting down the teacups and packets. “It makes more sense than going off gallivanting and adventuring all risky like, especially in my condition.” She pulled out a chair for Sky.

Sky blinked, clearly dumbfounded. “D-Didn’t you just head out this morning on an adventure?” She asked as she eased herself into the seat.

“I did, but I came back after I realised what a silly idea that was,” she smiles. “Not alone, though. I had some help from a lovely man out there who set my head straight.”

“Hm. I think you mentioned on your way out that you were heading out to fight that new baron?”

“Yes! And he was ever so polite!” She nodded happily. “He wouldn’t even think of hurting a pregnant lady, and even offered to walk me home. He was very sweet, not like those other barons. He was a good one.”

“Sure,” Sky nodded. Maybe she’s right? Though it doesn’t explain...this. “So, why exactly are you like this now?”

“Since I realized I should be at home, getting ready for these two angels,” she explains, rubbing her belly and looking down at it warmly. “There is so much still to be done before they arrive, Sky.”

“I assume so. And when did this realization strike? Must not have been last night, since you were showing off that bump at the Dance Parlor,” she chuckled in memory.

“Oh, I know,” she hand waved, her face blushing in embarrassment. “It was so showy of me. You won’t find me there again, count on that.”

“What? But you love being there. It’s basically your second home.”

She shook her head, and smiled. “Not anymore. That was old Shantae. New Shantae is focused on making a nice home for her babies.” She beamed with a whole smile.

“Sure,” Sky nodded slowly. Okay, something’s up. “Again, when exactly did you decide you needed to do this?”

“This morning, when I started chatting to the baron.” The kettle was now steaming. Shantae took it off the heat and poured it into two awaiting tea bag laned cups. She carried them over to the table, setting one in front of Sky and one in front of where she now sat.

“Thanks,” she nodded, taking the cup. “So, new baron. A nice guy?”

“So lovely!” She reminisced. “Ever so kind and polite.” She took a small sip of her tea. “Oh, I only had blueberry tea left, by the way. I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine,” she nodded. “Shantae, if I can be real here, I think that baron did something to you. You weren’t even close to this when you were running by this morning.”

“Oh, don’t be so suspicious,” she chuckled pleasantly.

“Seriously, Shantae, I’m concerned. Something clearly happened. What went down out there.”

“Let me recall,” she set down her cup and tapped her temple. “Hmmm...I went in...he didn’t want to fight me…we had a pleasant talk...and then he walked me home.”

“That’s it?” She asked, slightly presingly. “Hold on, you still wanted to fight him when you got there, right?”

“I think I did,” she responded, stroking her belly softly, “but I soon realized that I shouldn’t be out fighting.”

Sky takes a slow sip of her tea. “What about this morning?”

“What about it?” She asked, giving her friend a funny look.

“Humor me, tell me what you did before you went off to find the baron.”

“Lets see...I woke up, put on that terribly skimpy outfit I always wore, and headed out.”

Sky made a weird noise, somewhere between choking and spitting out her tea. “Wait, did you just call your outfit skimpy? The one you wear everyday?”

“You mean the belly dancer clothes? That thing?” She let out a solid laugh. “It was so showy! I don’t know how I ever enjoyed showing off that much skin all the time, especially with how big my tummy is now! I mean, I’m sure you and the others were just waiting for me to put some clothes on, right?”

Sky sat back in her chair, looking at her cheery friend with a dumbfounded expression. “Okay, something is definitely wrong here. That baron guy did...something!”

“You’re being overly suspicious again, Sky,” Shantae laughed slightly, setting a hand on her shoulder. “I just realized what’s really important to me right now.”

Sky looked distraughtly down at her tea. “This doesn’t feel real...doesn’t feel like you…”

“Oh, Sky,” Shantae gave a comforting smile, pulling her friend into a side hug. “I assure you, it is still me. Same old Shantae, just now with her priorities in line. Please, don’t worry about me, for my sake at the very least.”

She was quiet for a minute, before bringing her teacup back to her lips. “Okay,” she nodded after a long sip, and smiled. “It’s still you here. Still my friend.”

“Exactly!” She smiled, squeezing her shoulder.

“I still think I need some time to process this,” she admitted.

“Of course,” she nodded. “I made a big change, I don’t expect you to immediately acclimate to it. I’m glad you were concerned about me, even if there’s nothing to be concerned over.”

“Still…”

“Enough of that, now.” Shantae playfully put her finger to Sky’s lips. “No worries from you, okay?”

Sky could not help but crack a small smile. “Okay,”she responded partially muffled. “Good,” Shantae grinned, pulling her finger away. “Would you like some more tea?”

“No, actually, I, uh, think I need to go,” she replied, downing the last of her tea. 

“I understand. You need your space.”

“Hate to leave so soon, but I’m sure you have stuff to prepare for the babies.”

“Yeah, actually,” she chuckled a bit. “Was about to head out shopping just when you popped in.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you any longer.” She got up and headed for the door. “See you later?” She asked, pushing the door slightly open.

“Of course. See you later, Sky.” She gave a small wave as she went to pick up the teacups.

The smile on Sky’s face dropped the moment she closed the door, turning to one of urgency as she dashed off to her hatchery. “Wrech!” She called, waking the purple bird from its stoop. “We need to go! We have people to pick up!”

Back at Shantae’s, the half genie set the teacups gently on the left side of the sink with some of the other dirty dishes. She patted her belly happily. “I’m so glad she’s coming around. Hopefully the others understand just as easily. Now, though, shopping!” She walked over to her door and headed out.

[bi-bobbysoxxers]

Heyy y'all! I was tagged by @meiyanaalexia Thanks for the tag, fam!

Rules: List ten of your fave female characters from your ten fave fandoms and then tag 10 other ppl!

This list is by no means comprehensive or a ranked list, as i think all my fave characters are equally bad betches, in their own right xD alright let's get to it!

-Tamari and Lady Tsunade (Naruto/Naruto Shippuden)

Tamari's one of the more cool, levelheaded female side characters in naruto and idk, she's very much Gaara and Kankuro's rock, and idk, i like that. I view her as a very strong female character, and i think she carries a lot of badass masculine energy. Plus she's a badass fighter as well. (((And she's hot but that's beside the point lol))) I like Lady Tsunade a lot, but i admit, i wasnt a fan of her at first. But now that I'm seeing her character unfold in Shippuden, I like her a lot. I like the concept that she's kiind of a grouchy, reluctant leader of the leaf village, cause that makes her seem like a very reliable leader, in a way. I think she's hella underrated as a strong character, tbh. Plus i like that she's a healing ninja, cause it seems so opposite to her outward personality. The more i watch naruto the more i'm really liking more of their female characters, tbh.

Quotes!

Tamari: "Sharpen your karma at sunset."

Tsunade: "People become stronger because they have things they cannot forget. That's what you call growth."

-Lucy and Kiyoko (Bungou Stray Dogs)

oh wow, uh, not gonna lie, i really like this anime more for most of the male characters, but Lucy and Kiyoko have alswas been in my faves list. I didnt really understand Lucy's character in season one but as the plot thickens, so does her issues with wanting to morally become a better person, but still being fairly new to learning to become selfless. I think a lot of people can relate to her because she can be fairly emotionally erratic, and she struggles with the whole "forgiveness thing." But later on you see that all she really wanted was a true family and friends that value her. And i think that's something we all want, deep down. Also, her powers are highly unnderrated and badass and i love how she is slowly becoming a protector for ppl like Atsushi, which really shows her growth as a character.

I also put Kiyoko on this list because i think she is equally as good of a female character as Lucy is, but for dif reasons. I loveeee the whole concept of "initially bad" characters soon wanting to become good. There's a simplicity in her character that i think models Atsushi's in a way, i mean they're both damaged, but both yearn to do good and make a comeback with the chances they've been given in life. If Lucy was a Tarot Card she would be the Fool. I also love how steadfast she is in her newfound family and how much she believes in everyone in the ADA now. It's very wholesome and pure :3 also i love her and Atsushi's relationship, it kinda reminds me of me and my BFF's ride or die relationship, lol.

Lucy: "Make sure you survive...Then come back for me. I'll be waiting."

Kiyoko: "I saw a bright world. I cannot go back to a time when I didn't know such a thing existed."

-Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

Ugh, there's so many things about this character that I have always loved and adored. Her character design, her quiet whimsical weirdness. Her determined loyalty to the people that accept her. Her lovely simple wisdom, at times. Like Harry said, Luna is just "...coooll." She kinda reminds me of me when I was a teenager but way cooler lol.

Luna: "My mum always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us, in the end."

-Lara Croft (Tomb Raider movies and videogames)

Laura is....a simple character by design. If anything, the plotlines and video game design of the Tomb Raider franchise are way more intricate. And yeah...there's her misogynistic character design (Note: the impossibly snatched waist and bOoBiEs in earlier games.)

BUT. I still stan her for a multitude of reasons. Growing up, there were may more princess characters than female warrior characters and ya know, I'm really glad I was exposed to Lara Croft movies and the Tomb Raider: Legend video games as a kid. I think Laura taught me that you can definitely embrace your feminine side and still be a badass and follow your dreams. Even now, after me finally figuring out i'm not cis, i know, that she's still an icon for most kids out there. And for me too. She was a symbol of bravery, intelligence, as well as still being a character of emotional depth, grieving the loss of her parents while vowing to continue to do what she loved, which is exploring. Cultural and moral problems with her character aside, i still find both her and her stories very inspirational, both as a bigender queer person, and as a designer.

Laura Quotes: "The line between our myths and truth is fragile and blurry."

"The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are."

-Scorpia (She-Ra)

Oh wow, i could go on for days about how much i love thus character. If you're queer or fun in any capacity you've probably watched the final season fo She-Ra by now and spoilers aside, i just love the journey this character went on from start to finish. Scorpia is so genuine and nice, and sometimes that puts her in situations where she has to make hard decisions. And idk, those decisions just made that character so much better for me. On a lighter note, Scorpia is great queer rep, especially for butch lesbians, lesbians, trans ppl, androg ppl, and gender nonconforming ppl. She's always said things that have resonated with me as a queer person and aside from that, she's a very excitable and fun character. She just excudes so much curiosity and joy that you really can't help but like her, lol.

Scorpia: "I am brave, strong, loyal, and i give great hugs!"

-Sypha (Castlevania)

Altho I personally don't view Sypha as a cis woman, (I see her as nonbinary or agender), I think the way characters treat her in the show is indicative that in that period, they view her as a woman. So i figured I could put her on this list as well lol. Anyways, uhhh wow, Sypha is great, there's so much I love about her that it's hard to put into words. I love that she regards herself as a "scholar" of magic, but still views herself as a heretic, I just find it pretty funny and very sexy of her lol. Aside from that, I think Sypha is a great character who always seeks out logic where there usually ends up being none. I love her cheeky remarks to both Alucard and Trevor, and I love her can-do attitude. At the end of the day, she's one of those characters you love just for her great energy she carries for herself within the show. There's really no rhyme or reason to her, she just, is. She subverts many female mage character tropes as well, being a natural badass. Also her god jokes are so damn funny.

Sypha: "See?? God hates me!?

-Aunt Sarah (Derry Girls)

Okay first of all, if you havent seen Derry girls, pleaseeee watch it, holy shit it's the funniest show i've seen in a longass time. Second of all, my friend and I are still going thru the show, but Ajnt Sarah has started to become one of my favorite characters. She's one of those very aloof characters that you kinda ignore at first but then her character just has these amazing one liners and she really grows on you. Also she is very caring about her family and she's cute as hell???? I'm sorry but like her aesthetic is just on fuckin point, like??? Go off babe?? Anyways yeah she's cute.

No quotes for her since that might ruin some of the better punchlines if you end up watching the show lol.

-Marga (Cable Girls)

Yeah, if you want a really good 1920's drama that focuses on women, go give Cable Girls a try! It is very poetic in its direction lol. Anyways, Marga is one of the "new girls" at the beginning of the show and she is just, so earnest, and genuine, and pure. And I love her. She's very nice to the other girls working and she's got some great one liners. She's that timid, cute character that slowy comes out of her shell throughout the show lol.

-Kiki and Sheeta (Studio Ghibli)

I loveee Studio Ghibli films, and one of my two fave films of Miyazaki are Kiki's Delivery Service and my ultimate fave, Castle in the Sky. I adore Kiki as a character because she is your quintessential cute witch, and her journey with finding and grasping her full powers are very relevant to me, and my journey with upholding my creativity as a designer. As well as being a great movie with a great lessom for all artists, Kiki is a very passionate and genuine character, who's resilency has inspired me in hard times. I love her relationship that she has with other ppl as nd creatures, especially with her cat Gigi. She's cute, i love her lots.

Sheeta, I love for different reasons. Sheeta is one of those rare instances where a quiet protagonist, really works. I love her calm and humble, yet powerful energy surrounding her. I love her background, and how there has always beem magic inside of her, even if she's not a practicing witch. She is so very humble and a very introspective character. There's not a lot of female protagonists quite like her. Plus she's adorable as well, lol.

-Aunt Hilda, Zelda, Prudence, and Lilith (CHAOS)

I'm not gonna get into super specifics since i love all these characters equally, but I will say that all these characters absolutely MADE this series for me. I personally found Sabrina's character very annoying and slightly egotistical (i mean she's allowed to be i suppose,lol) but these characters were just so much fun!

I love Aunt Hilda for her soft personality and great revenge comebacks. I love Prudence for her aesthetic, character design, and amazing characrer development throughout the series. I love Lilith, for being both a BAMF and. MILF, lolz. And finally, i absolutely adore Zelda's character, for being so poised, calculating, blunt, and yet so very badass and loveable xD I love everything about her character, tbh.

There's so many good quotes from each character, so just watch the show, lol.

Andddd i think that's it! Sorry this was super long, I wanted to state my reasoms for why these characters were on the list, lol. Hope you liked some of my character analysis, feel free to screech with me about shows anytime lol. I'd love more good show recs!

You def don't have to go as hard as I did on this but I tag:

@heathen-beast @iquotetheravennevermore @sweet-communist @gardiewithyou @sawayakakuns @shortlady72 @thatonegirluniverse @thatlowkeyhipster @letting-and-living @beauxxxtifullies @catastrafey

Anyone else can participate if they feel like it! Have fun lol. Let's love our great women characters lol.

[rayshippouuchiha]

I came out of Endgame with tears in my eyes and my heart filled up to the brim with absolute seething rage.

Even as I write this now my hands shake with some sick mixture of sadness, rage, and bitter disappointment.

So I preface this by saying that I am emotionally compromised and some of my views might shift with time and distance.

But, for better or for worse, this is my first rage flushed take:

I am so disappointed and so angry that after all of the tension, all of the build, all of the time and sweat and tears, all of the loyalty, we were rewarded with this.

Endgame had its high points, I’m not saying that it didn’t.  There were some genuinely funny moments and some heart rending ones as well.

Every single second Tony Stark was on screen was flawless as always.  Robert Downey Jr. once again proved why he and he alone was suited for the role of Tony Stark and the task of carrying the majority of the MCU for the past 10+ years.

That’s not to say that the rest of the cast wasn’t good.  All of the actors all obviously brought their A game and then some when they were allowed to by what I loosely call a script.

So yeah, there were some highs.

But when its comes to Endgame’s low points?

Its low points were subterranean.

They lowered the bar and then they dug underneath it.

Again I’m writing this basically fresh from the theater and with my emotions still high so do forgive me if this is a bit jumbled around or if I ramble a bit as I cover some of the real issues I had with the film.

So, first thing to address was the overall tone of the film.

For this to be the much glorified Endgame, the “battle of our lives”, there was, in my opinion, a distinct lack of true tension in this film.  Instead of a fraught, nail biting, tension filled ride, Endgame is more of a ... brisk jog through some vaguely sticky situations.

Instead of playing the story straight and giving the situation the gravity it deserved, the narrative went out of its way to put humor that served no other purpose than to ruin what tension had been previously built.  And, in my opinion, the tone of the film suffered for it.

The humor and jokes were humorous, I’m not saying they wasn’t.  I genuinely laughed out loud in the moment.  But I also feel that, with the majority of the comedy that was wedged into the narrative, the film suffered for it.

Now let’s move on a bit to the actual plot of the film.  Again, forgive me if I bounce a bit:

Jeremy Renner was breathtakingly heartbreaking as Clint Barton.  Renner was finally allowed to stretch his legs a bit in this film and he proved that, had he been given the chance, he would have given us a Clint Barton to take our breath away.

Watching with Clint as his family died helped to set what should have been the tone for the majority of the film from there on while reminding us of just what was lost and just what was at stake all at the same time.

Chris Evans brought heart to his portrayal of a Steve Rogers who seems both lighter and more weighted down in this film than ever before.

Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha finally showed more emotion than “head tilt”, “lip purse”, and “arched brow” and it was beautiful.

The brief flash of friendship and affection between Nebula and Tony was perfect and heartwarming as well.  Nebula was magnificent as the “feral space cat desperately in need of softness and a friendly hand” when placed side by side with a slowly withering Tony Stark who is, even at his lowest moments, still kind to this alien cyborg he doesn’t know but to who he owes his life.  They flowed together with an onscreen chemistry in their few moments side by side that felt organic and aching.

Together Tony and Nebula embodied a truly important life/plot point of “meet kindness with kindness and kindness will be your reward”.

Moving forward in time hearing Tony vent his anger and his pain and his distrust at Steve was cathartic in a lot of ways.

As was watching Tony rip the arc reactor from his chest and slap it into Steve’s hand.

In this moment Tony is handing Steve his metaphorical broken heart and leaving someone else to, for once, try and pick up the pieces.

But then, unfortunately, things go rather steeply down hill from there.

With Tony out for the count in a hospital bed the others hunt down and execute Thanos with basically a hand wave and all hope for the stones is lost.

Until deus ex rat-ina unleashes Scott Lang from the quantum realm and the logic of the film takes a sharp left turn.

Scott Lang was missing for 5 years.

To him it was 5 hours.

To which I say, why did Janet van Dyne, age during her stay in the quantum realm?  If, according to the MCU canon, every year in our world was roughly only an hour for Scott Lang, then why didn’t Janet come out of the quantum realm only 30 hours older instead of 30 years?

I feel like the answer is probably “because” but yeah maybe I’m just fuzzy on my Ant Man so if I’m wrong then just ignore that bit please.

Also, just a side note, I adore how it’s been 5 years, Wakanda is very much an ally and still up and running, and yet Rhodey still don’t have working legs.  But alas, racism.

Moving on. 

So with the main villain dead and Tony Stark having solved time travel in his living room, because I stan legends only, we’re now subjected, and that is the very word I’d use to describe what happens next, to what is called a Time Heist.

Cute.

Also Bruce Banner and Hulk have now merged Steven Universe style despite Hulk being scared green-less 5 years ago.  But that’s all good, Bruce smoked a ton of weed, they meditated, went on a cleanse or whatever.

Either way Bruce finally did that character development that everyone had been shouting at him since Avengers 2012 and accepted Hulk as part of him and they’re now Dr. Hulk which was … something that happened?

A thing that they chose to do.  The direction in which they set their narrative wheels and then powered full steam ahead and plowed us right over in the process.

But yeah, Time Heist!  That’s the way to go, the only way apparently.

Because going back in time to stop the Snappening isn’t an option due to reasons that are explained and still look and feel paper thin but probably just honestly boils down to “Russos”

Our intrepid heroes will now split up and surf through time Bill and Ted style to collect the Stones from different points in history.

Yay.

So the rest of the film is basically that, a big old jewel hunt through space and history where the Russos attempt to fool us into thinking their plot points are cohesive and cool by donkey punching us repeatedly in our nostalgia-sacks.

We’re treated to, in no particular order, such hits as:

“Ah 2012 and the invasion of New York only not as interesting but Tony Stark is very much an ass man, but then we been done known that.”

“The Ancient One and her still very distracting skull vein coming at you right now”

“LOKI YOU LITTLE SHIT”

“The one time I envied Scott Lang because, for a split second, he got to be inside Tony Stark”

“Let’s watch Tony Stark simultaneous take a Hulk to the face and have a small cardiac event all at the same time but from different angles”

And let us not forget

“Tee Hee Hee us white bois just had to find a way to make sure Captain America say “Hail HYDRA” but it was for “spy reasons” so weren’t we clever???????”

Yeah boys, great job.

So edgy.

(Although as a side note I do agree, Steve Roger’s ass really is America’s ass and I’d like to thank him for that. Personally.)

But then, of course, Endgame would not have been complete without:

“Steve Rogers stares longingly and creepily at Peggy Carter from behind a window, further backing up his one defining character trait in the MCU which is the inability to move on.  Also she doesn’t look up at all despite being a trained spy and all around badass who probably should have noticed the 6 foot slab of American Beef staring at her from less than a foot away, dark room or no dark room.”

And then my personal favorite:

“Tony Stark sees Howard Stark, the father he described as “calculating, cold, he never told me he was proud of me, never even told me he loved me” but it’s all good cause Tony’s a dad now so looking back all he sees are the good times with his emotionally neglectful and abusive father who says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his unborn kid and now they awkwardly hug while I try not to scream “FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND HOWARD AND NO THAT ONE 3 MINUTE VIDEO DOESN’T COUNT YOU SHIT” at the screen and explode in pure rage.”

Joy.

Truly a scene that was necessary and fit the narrative of Howard Stark’s personality and was needed for Tony to uh get closure or grow as a man and a father or something …

It totally wasn’t yet another excuse to give a canonically abusive father screen time in a way that seems genial and sweet in an attempt to give them a bit of redemption that they neither earned nor deserve.

But yeah, whatever, moving on.

Also Rhodey remains an absolute gem and he and Nebula get shit done.

Only oops, not so fast.

Because apparently the only one who is going to run into the whole “two of you can’t exist in one place at one time without consequences” rule is Nebula who, despite her bitchin orange stripe/badge of character development, managed to like synch up with her past self?

Because she didn’t turn her bluetooth/quantum entanglement function off I guess.

Either way Orange Stripe Nebula, O’Snebula as I call her, has accidentally air dropped all her files into OG Nebula’s mental iPhone.

So yeah now big old Past Grimace knows what’s up.

Ooops??

So shit goes down and then Past Grimace is like “you need to Trogan horse this shit, least favorite daughter” so OG Nebula does because “daddy issues”.

Dr. Hulk puts on the gauntlet and Kentucky fires his arm bringing all the people lost in the Snappening back to life now, 5 years after they got dusted.

Which is … honestly a recipe for disaster in so many ways.  What about the people, like the guy in Steve’s support group, who have started to move on?

What about the people who have remarried, have built new lives?

All of that’s ruined now.

It’s fantastic all those people are alive again but jobs, housing, food, healthcare, government, all of it is back in massive disarray across the universe.

And bringing those people back does nothing to bring back the people who didn’t die in the Snappening but died from causality instead.  All the deaths caused by suicides, by car/bus/train/plane/ship/etc crashes, by a lack of first responders, by the civil/world/interplanetary wars that probably raged across the universe due to entire governments disappearing?

All of those people are still dead.

The Snappening killed half of all life in the universe.  Causality probably killed another good ¼ after that.

And Dr. Hulk’s Un-Snappening saves none of them.

This isn’t a true solution, it’s a shitty band-aid.

But yeah, Russos so….

Moving on.

Yadda Yadda Yadda, plot plot plot. OG Nebula goes undercover, Past Grimace ends up in the future, there’s some fighting (which was admittedly BAD ASS), shit happens, and Tony saves the day like we all knew he would.

YAY!

Despite the massive rambling up above I’m not gonna plot out the entire movie right here though a lot will probably get covered coming up because here’s where I get down and start talking about the various character arcs too.

Because what a wild fucking ride those were.

Okay to take it from the top Scott Lang’s arc was fine.  Beyond my questions about the quantum realm his was clear cut and fine although I do wonder at his luck at being, apparently, the only Scott Lang in San Fran to go missing.  Well either that or he was staring at some other Scott Lang’s name instead of his own and in that case “awkward”.

Bruce’s arc was … look I could have done without all of the cringy Dr. Hulk stuff that they played up for laughs.  If they were gonna brush Hulk being terrified under the rug they could have found a better way to do it besides just erasing the duality between Hulk and Banner with a hand wave.

But yeah, Russos.

Carol Danvers was beautiful and magnificent and completely brushed aside.  Yes she was out in the universe handling shit, yes I know they did that so they could focus on the core Avengers, etc etc etc.

But it’s a damn shame that Carol Danvers, and her glorious haircut, was reduced to being the sorely needed and totally badass cavalry and last minute ace in the hole when she should have, logically, been a part of the vanguard.  Honestly I have thoughts on why Carol’s entire character should have been saved completely for the next phase of the MCU instead of introduced so late in this one but I digress.

O’Snebula was a perfect shining bionic light and I love her.

Gamora is now alive in the future but at what cost?  Not that her life isn’t worth something on its own, it totally is and she deserved the loophole resurrection 10000%.

Shit’s gonna be awkward though cause she doesn’t love Quill, she doesn’t love the Guardians, doesn’t really know O’Snebula or the universe she’s been thrown into.  She doesn’t have the memories or the experiences or the character growth and even if she does go back to her family she’ll never be the same person.

Now her and Quill’s relationship, if they ever have one again, will be reduced down to Quill going “you fell in love with me once you could do it again despite us no longer having the shared experiences that bonded us together”.  Same can be said for the rest of the Guardians as well.

Guess we all know what the plot of GotG 3 is gonna be about.

And that brings us to the story lines that really and truly upset me.

Which is basically all the rest of them.

Natasha/Clint’s combined story-line, Thor’s everything, Steve’s … Steve, and then finally Tony.

Now the Natasha/Clint story-line started out promising.

Clint’s rage and pain was obvious, his heartbreak poignant.  His decision to use all of those to cut a bloody swathe through the criminal underworld was both Dramatic(™) and understandable.

Natasha’s love and grief for him, her desperate attempts to hold onto what she has left by throwing herself into her new job, was a perfect demonstration that Natasha Romanoff is very much not a robot.  She was exhausted, frayed at the edges, and she had tears in her eyes, over Clint.  And then she pulled herself together, slipped her mask back on, and pushed her way forward.  This was all excellent.

It was also a nice narrative callback/parallel to have Natasha be the one to go out and bring Clint in from the cold.

Natasha plays touch stone, plays stability, for Clint and for many of the others.  For the first time Natasha is truly portrayed as a person all the way down to the core instead of some witty quips in a catsuit.  Plus her eyebrows finally came back from the war and her hair looked good again.  So there was that.

Clint and Natasha’s arc comes to a climax on Vormir as they search for the Soul Stone and Red Skull, the Nazi cockroach that he is, gives them the same spiel he gave Thanos.

To get the Soul Stone you must give up the life of the one you love the most. A soul for a soul.

Narrative wise this is consistent, we all knew this would happen as soon as they started searching for the Stones again.  It was obvious.

It was also obvious that Clint was the perfect sacrifice.

He’s got nothing left, his family is dead, he’s already lost the people he loves the most, he’s spent five years being a borderline monster.

And he is also, without a doubt, the thing that Natasha loves the most.

Clint was ready and willing to go, ready to die for the blood on his hands, ready to sacrifice himself for the chance that his family would be saved.

Ready to lay down on the wire and let Natasha walk over him for the sake of everything.

Clint dying made sense, was narratively sound, and heartbreaking.

All of which are only a few of the reasons why Natasha’s death was such a goddamn betrayal.

Instead of following along with the narratively sound death of Clint Barton, an Avenger that’s been ignored for most of the films as is, the Russo brothers instead chose to fridge Natasha.

Clint dying would have been the perfect mirror to Gamora’s death.

Gamora was a daughter unwillingly sacrificed by her father to destroy half of all life in the universe.

Clint would have been a father willingly sacrificed by a friend to save half of all life in the universe, his own sons and daughter included.

But no, we didn’t get that, instead we got a gratuitous scene of Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, splayed angel like and bloody on the rocks below.

Instead they fridged the Black Widow, the only woman of the original Big Six, because they couldn’t bring themselves to fridge a man.

So Clint gets the Soul Stone.

Such a fitting end for the Black Widow right?  Dying in a man’s place, mourned on screen by a circle of men, but ultimately set aside rather quickly.

I understand why Natasha wanted to be the one to go, I understand that she didn’t want Clint’s family to lose their husband/father and that her true family was the Avengers. I get that.  It doesn’t mean I enjoy or agree with the decision they made any more.

It doesn’t make me any less tired of watching female characters die for the sake of men and their families.

Natasha Romanoff sacrificed herself for the universe and her family and that deserves respect even if I absolutely hate it as a narrative choice.

Oh and what about the absolute NERVE of the Russos to have that awesome Lady Power Battle Strut happen but only after they killed Natasha, one of the Big Six?

Bitter? Me? Nooo.

Now, moving on to Thor.

Thor.

Oh my actual God, Thor.

The levels of disrespect Thor, Chris Hemsworth, and the fans were shown with this character arc/story-line in Endgame is breathtaking.

The absolute, shameless disrespect.

They turned Thor into a cowardly, drunken slob who has spent the last 5 years ignoring his responsibilities to what’s left of his people and instead has spent his time drinking, sulking, and literally yelling at kids over PSN??

Endgame’s Thor has the bullshit reasoning that he needs to stop trying to be who he thinks he should be and instead be who he is.

Which flies completely in the face of literally all of his character development from Thor all the way to Thor 3 and then Infinity War.

The entirety of Thor 3 was Thor’s hero’s journey culminating in him finally being the king he was always meant to be.  Finally maturing and stepping forward to lead his people.

I am supposed to believe that Thor, depressed and guilty or not for not killing Thanos when he had the chance the first time, just abandoned his people like that?

I’m supposed to believe that Thor would piss all over everything the majority of his family and friends died for?

I’m supposed to believe that Heimdall, Loki, countless soldiers, and The Warrior’s Three and Lady Sif (I guess), all died to protect Asgard, died for the people and for Thor, and Thor just what? Turns his back on all of that to become a drunk?

No, Thor wouldn’t do that.  Thor should have been down there beside Valkyrie working those fishing vessels when Bruce and Rocket came calling.  If Thor had any hesitance to join them it should have been, “I can’t abandon my people, I am needed here.”  He should have been fiercely guarding the tiny fraction of Asgard that’s left.

Thor’s depression and guilt was valid. Don’t mistake me on that. But they played it for jokes.  They made him a caricature of depression, made him “gross” and incompetent and the butt of the jokes, and in the process diminished what should have been a painful and poignant arc for Thor.

Instead we got Big Lebowski Thor, bathrobe included, who does stand up and fight yes but, in the end, gives up his crown and just fucks off to space to have petty pissing competitions with Peter Quill so he can?? find himself?? despite finding himself in Ragnarok already???

Thor’s entire arc in Endgame was shallow, mishandled, and disrespectful to the character, to Chris Hemsworth, and to the fans.

You, we, he, all deserved better than this.

Now we get to Steve.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.

I’ve had a lot of salt about Steve’s character and actions in the MCU but, all of that aside, he deserved so much more than what the Russo’s did to him in Endgame.

Hell he’s deserved so much more than what’s been done to him since post-CA:TFA.

But this is about Endgame specifically soooo….

Steve’s shown leading a support group in the beginning of Endgame, is shown talking about moving on and moving forward and learning to let go. Which is wonderful.  It sounds like the exact character development we’ve all been waiting for for Steve.

Which is, of course, the exact moment when Steve goes “nah just kidding, we don’t ever move on”.

Which, given the circumstances, is pretty fair.  If Steve was only thinking/talking about Thanos and the events of Infinity War.

But of course he wasn’t.

CA:CW should have been the end of the Peggy Carter saga for Steve.  He mourned her, he was finally moving forward, he’d kissed Sharon, he threw everything away to save Bucky, he gave up his shield, etc etc.

But no.  Endgame finds him right back there, clutching that goddamn compass, and making moon eyes at a woman who we all thought went on and lived a life without him, got married, had kids, and generally existed outside of Steve Rogers.

But no.  The Russo’s had to take that away from us too.

And yes yes I know I know multiverse or whatever but still.

Steve steamrolls his way through Endgame with skill and determination.  He picks up Thor’s hammer, finally worthy, which how??? Why???  (perhaps because he’s no longer keeping secrets??? Or maybe that’s just my salt talking? Who knows? Not me?)

And then he fights Thanos head to head.

(Although him wielding the hammer brought up an entire separate set of issues cause I’m pretty sure Mjolnir doesn’t actually summon lightning. Ragnarok pretty much said that the lightning has always been within Thor.  Mjolnir was just a control accessory.  But, you know, Russos *jazzhands*)

And then, in the end, he insists on returning the Stones on his own.

Only he doesn’t come back like he was supposed to.

Instead we’re given old Steve Rogers.

Because Steve returned the Stones and then ….went and found Peggy Carter and got married and lived an entire life with her ignoring everything he would have known was going to happen to her and around the both of them or something???

Or maybe not if the multiverse thing holds up but then who knows any more???

But then how did Old Steve end up right there by that lake on that day at that right time if he’s technically from a different multiverse???

Either way Sam gets his shield and the mantle of Captain America, which was fantastic, and Bucky more than likely knew Steve’s plan all along but the best read I really got on him was basically “eh” so he might well have been happy for Steve too.

But still, instead of finally achieving peace and continuing to learn to live in the future with Bucky and Sam and the remnants of the Avengers, his family and the life he’s built there over the past years, instead of putting the shield down because he’s learned to let go in the now, Steve only puts the shield down because he chooses the past.

He chooses the past over all of that and all of the people left who love him. Sure the argument could be said that he knew they’d be alright but still.

There is a deep well of dissatisfaction inside of me as to how Steve’s entire ending arc was handled.  Why did peace only come to Steve after Tony and Natasha were both dead and then was only found in the past?

No disrespect to Peggy Carter, I adore her, but were the relationships he had in the future worth so little that the past was the only place he could find happiness?  A past with a woman that he knows loved him but still moved on and found happiness outside of him, lived a full and happy life without him?

Steve didn’t get a character arc so much as he got a character circle.  A character loop.  He went right back to where he started.

Endgame erases all of the character development Steve underwent post-Avengers.  Just brushes it all under the rug.

The Russo’s stole the character development Steve Rogers spent a decade undergoing to give him their version of a happy ending.

They robbed him and us both of every bit of growth and forward motion Steve has underwent and I will never forgive them for that.

And now we get to Tony Stark.

Anthony Edward Stark.

The Iron Man.

Tony’s arc is, was, the longest and best developed arc in the entirety of the MCU.

It’s spanned 10+ years and has been nurtured and hand fed by Robert Downey Jr.

If Endgame got one thing right, one thing at all, it’s how they handled the majority of Tony’s arc.

From him laying the smack down on Steve once he was home, finally venting his emotions and his anger, all the way to him solving time travel before tucking his kid into bed, and then building an Infinity Gauntlet on his own even though Thanos committed genocide to get the one he had.

Tony Stark’s arc was glorious and expected and sad.

I think that my one almost complaint is that Tony stopped for 5 years.  On one hand he deserved the rest, deserved the chance to find happiness.  He was hurt and tired and he’d faced his demons and been left bleeding out with the death of half the universe weighing on his shoulders.

He deserved to just stop for a while.

On the other hand stopping is not something Tony has ever been good at, just like Pepper said.  A part of me thought Tony would be working, frantically, to find something, anything, to turn back the hands of time.  To track Thanos down. To get the Stones and then to get everything else back.

To get Peter and all of the others back.

But that’s not the route they went and I’m … okay? I guess, with that.

Tony was validated and vindicated and everyone would have finally listened to him.  It only took the death of half of the universe to do it.  But he was too tired, too hurt and untrusting to keep pushing.  I can respect that.

But of course once an idea worms its way inside Tony can’t let it go.  So he solves time travel on the fly and sets out to save the world.

Again.

His one stipulation is that he will do anything, everything, he has to in order to keep what he has now.  His wife Pepper and Morgan, his sweet little daughter.

So of course he doesn’t get to do that either.

After all of the blood, sweat, suffering, and mental illnesses, Tony doesn’t get his happy ending.  Not really.

He gets to rest, yes, but he loses out on everything he wanted to do with his kid.  In the process of saving the universe he becomes the one thing he never wanted to be for Morgan, a distant father.

A face on a screen, stories, memories other people have.

No matter how many holograms or inventions or whatever Tony left to Morgan, it’ll never replace him.

Morgan got 5 years with her father.  She’ll spend the rest of her life hearing stories about him, about how much of a hero he was.  And hopefully, with Pepper and all the others behind her, Tony will remain a hero to her and will not, instead, become her version of Captain America.  An untouchable symbol that Morgan will never live up to.

So, in the end, Tony sacrifices once again.

Watches the future he wanted crumble to dust in his fingers, lightning scorching him from the inside out as infinity rips him apart.

And he dies there, surrounded by some of the people who love him best.

His best friend.

His wife.

The son he almost had.

And, despite all of that, it is very very fitting that his death was at his own hands.

Thanos could take out half the universe, he could traverse time and space, he could humble Thor, terrorize the Hulk, rip Steve Roger’s up, survive shield and hammer and so much more, but the one thing he couldn’t do?

He couldn’t kill Tony Stark.

The only thing that could kill Iron Man, could kill Tony Stark, was his own heart.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones in hand knowing how this is going to end, knowing that Stephen Strange set him on this path years ago.

Because didn’t Strange warn him?  Didn’t Strange tell him outright “I’ll let the kid and you both die to protect the Time Stone”?

Tony just never expected it to take a few hours and then 5 more years for Strange’s promise to finally be fulfilled.

So Tony does it knowing that after everything he’s been through, all of the pain and the suffering and the battles, it was only enough to have earned 5 years of happiness, 5 years of his dream.

5 years of being the father he always swore he’d be.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones and dies for the entire universe, for his family, for his daughter.  Dies knowing that he’ll be doing the one thing he didn’t want to do, swore he would never do.

Leaving them behind.

Tony Stark brings us full circle as he stands as both equal and mirror of Thanos once again.

Man to Titan.  Good Father to Bad Father.  Life to Death.

Tony Stark picks up the weight of the universe and then he dies making sure that it has a future free from the same fear that has haunted him for a decade.

A warm light for all mankind, sent to sleep, to rest, knowing that finally everything will be okay.

And all he had to do was die for it.

So, I’ll close this out saying this:

This was written in one solid push after my first viewing and Endgame was dissatisfying for me as you might have guessed.  I am disappointed and angry at so much they chose to do to end out this iconic decade of cinema and to close out these character’s arcs.

There were a lot of points and little details I didn’t get to cover in this and perhaps a lot of points you might not agree with me on.

That’s okay.

Because, no matter what, there is one thing I know for sure.

We, I, will always have Tony Stark and the lessons he taught me.  The pain he endured and shared with all of us.  The bravery and strength he inspired in so many of us as we watched him struggle with physical and mental illnesses on screen.  As we watched him obsess and stress and love and grow.

I have never loved a character more than I love Tony Stark.

I have never been impacted by a character as much as I have been by Tony Stark.

I’m not sure if I ever will again.

So, Tony Stark is Iron Man.

He always will be.

And he saved more than just some fictional universe.

He saved a lot of us along the way too.

And we’ll always love him for that.

[nosferatyou]

New Tune: Chapter 3 (Jake Kiszka x Reader)

WC: 3.2k

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of alcohol and hard drugs, two of our favorite boys smoking weed

Summary: Two guitarists meet at a Rock Festival, only having a week with each other before they have to return to their own lives. The bond they create is unfeigned and resolute.

Notes: I HIGHLY recommend the songs I mention throughout this chapter, especially into the mystic. That song fucks me up.

I walked up to the tour bus, acoustic strapped to my back. I checked my phone one more time to make sure I had the time right. The band was still playing what seemed to be their last song. All of the members were putting everything into their playing, emotion from all of them pouring through. The singing belting out everything, the drums and bass seemed to be on the same wavelength with a steady and more relaxed rhythm, and finally, the guitar seemed angry and messy. Despite all of their conflicting tones they found a way to meld together, making their music them. It wasn't anything like me and the boys played,  I could only describe it as a mixture of Sabbath's first album and Pink Floyds “wish you were here” album. That style of a very heavy, angry blues with David Gilmour's bends and solos. I couldn't think of a genre to pin it down with. 

I decided not to burst in unannounced, so I opened up my phone and leaned against the bus, mindlessly scrolling through instagram. As soon as I started three guys walked off the bus, cigarettes in hand. They stopped when they saw me, each with a quizzical look on their faces. I quickly stuck my hand out and introduced myself,

“Jake Kiszka, I’m um, here to meet Y/N.”

Matt seemed to quickly realize who I was because a smile adjourned his face.

“Oh shit hey man! I dont think you've met the other guys. This here is Eli, our bassist.” Eli quickly shook my hand returned back to his cig. Matt continued. “And this is Asa, our baby drummer.”

 Asa shook his head and took a drag of his, then motioned towards me. “I’m literally the same height this guy.”

Matt looked at the both of us and gave out a quick laugh “ Oh shit, my bad.”

“I can't help that i’m the shortest, literally all of you are over 5’10! Y/N is a head taller than me, especially when she wears heels. Which is like, everyday.” Said Asa, trying to defend himself.

“Speaking of! She will be out shortly, she's on the phone. We are gonna go to the bar, see 

you around man.” 

They all threw me a hasty peace sign and walked away. 

They are quite the crew, I see why Y/N is the way she is. 

Not too long after Y/N hopped off the bus with a guitar strapped to her back and what seemed to be a small mason jar. 

“Well hey there, Rockstar. Ready to go jam?”

She seemed different than earlier, and it wasn’t that her hangover was gone. She just seemed… off. Still, she was peppy and seemed eager to see me.

She was dressed the same as this morning, but she put on a light denim jacket. Probably for how cold it gets at night here.

“Hell yeah. I'm assuming we aren't playing here, just that no fun.” I joked.

“My feelings would be very hurt right now if I didn't have a super cool spot planned.”

I raised one of my eyebrows, not entirely visible behind my sunglasses.

“Super cool spot?”

“Yeah! It's a bit of a walk, I hope you don’t mind. I just enjoy hiking through the desert while I’m here. A welcome change of scenery.”

I smiled at that sentence,there is just something about a girl who doesn't mind a hike that gets me.

“I don’t mind at all.”

She did look beautiful, I can’t deny that. Her hair was wild and curly, not unkempt but perfectly messy. The light from the sun catching her skin perfectly.

“Well let's get going! Can’t just stare at me all night.” 

Fuck.

A small blush rose to my cheeks. Guess I can't really smoothly play it off.

“Can you blame?”

“No I guess not.” A bright smile on her face as we started our trek.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And welcome to the coolest part of this whole festival.”

We stood on a massive boulder that went off the trail, overlooking the desert. It must've been about a 20 ft drop, at least. The vast desert ahead of us  seemed never ending, and it was all covered with green bushes. The sun still setting, about to disappear beyond the horizon.

“Fuck. The boys would kill to see this” I said, the view stunning me.

She already found a spot perched on a rock overlooking it all.

“Fuck is the perfect description for this place.”

I made my way over to her, grabbing a seat next to her. She pulled the small mason jar out of her pocket.

“Whatcha got there?”

“The surprise.” She looked over to me, excitement evident on her face.

“You never told me there was one.”

“It wouldn't be a surprise if i told you.” She said nudging my shoulder.

“Well show it to me then.” 

She unscrewed the lid and inside was a nug of weed, along with rolling papers and a lighter.

My eyes lit up, happy to see the product in front of me.

 I chuckled and said “Y/N, You're killing it tonight.”

“Rockstar, you don't have to tell me that.” She handed it to me suddenly, then continued 

“Thing is, I never learned to roll. Well-” She stopped for a moment, thinking. “Well I did learn, but my skills are laughable.”

I grabbed my guitar from my back, and laid it down in my lap, using it as a flat surface.

“You brought the right person with you.” I grabbed the items out of the jar and laid them out, staying as still as I could. Talking while rolling the blunt.

“Josh stopped smoking joints a while back, you know, for his voice. Sam and Danny still do, but both use bongs whenever they can. In fact, I remember Sam trying to make a bong in woodworking class, I think it’s still on the bus actually.”

I finished grinding it, setting it down in a little pile, then grabbing the papers. Continuing 

to talk while I rolled.

“Anyways they always left me to roll, and after MANY years of experience.” I stop for a moment to lick the edges and push the paper in with my tongue. “I can roll a pretty damn good blunt.”

I finally finish it off by running my lighter along the edge, cooking it.

“Under two minutes? Damn, man I’m impressed. If I did it we would have been here a while.” She laughed and then laid her guitar down next to her, leaning back on her hands. 

I grabbed all the stuff and put it back in the jar, sitting it down next to me. I tried to pass the blunt over to her.

“Ladies, first”

“Psh, please. I know proper etiquette.” She lightly scoffed, pushing my hand back over to me.

“I insist, it’s your bud.” My hand returning back to its spot, wiggling it around to tease her.

She was stubborn, her face was scrunched up in thought before finally accepted. She took it from my hands, going for the lighter.

“Ah, I got it.”

“Ooh, look at you being all chivalrous.”

I laughed and cupped my hand around it, blocking any wind, then lit the end of it.

She breathed in, holding it in a bit before finally exhaling, letting out a plume of smoke. It hanging heavy in the air for a moment before the breeze sweeps it away.

She passed it over to me, and I grabbed it out of her hand, taking an equally big hit.

“Its funny, usually by now i'm in the middle of a cough-” She cut herself off, going into an expected coughing fit. 

I cough out a laugh, not expecting that to happen. The both of us laughing and coughing before it eased.

It seemed like it had been a bit since she’d smoked, she was paying attention to all of her actions carefully before doing them.

We eventually calmed down and quietly passing it between each other, enjoying the sounds of nature and the setting sun.

“Fuck I hate when it gets this small.” She was doing her best to pinch the end of it, trying to get a hit.

“It's a fun challenge.” I laughed.

“I use this so I don’t have to deal with challenges.” She passed the roach over to me and settled back on her hands, staring off into the distance. A serene look on her face and seemingly not a bad thought in mind.

I took a final hit before putting it out on the rock and flicking it off the boulder.

“Wanna play something?” I asked.

“Just- Give me a second, this all is so beautiful its a bit overwhelming.”

I simply nodded and stared off myself, marveling in nature's beauty.

I caught my gaze drifting over to her several times, admiring her peace. She seemed so at home with all of this.

“Know the song “Junk” by John Denver?” She asked not looking away from the scenery.

I fully turned my head towards her saying “Of course.”

She pulled herself away and grabbed her guitar and pick, starting to strum the tune.

She sang along, never faltering. I listened for a bit, admiring her voice. The song matched the energy of the night, making the whole experience more surreal.

In the chorus I joined in, harmonizing with her soprano voice. Our voices melded together beautifully, our guitars singing and harmonizing together. A smile forming on her face, as we both sang together. Our guitars finding a rhythm together and continued on after the song ended. We played off of each other, either one of us soloing at any point, but we kept a steady strum pattern throughout it. 

We eventually found a way to segue into other songs, never really stopping. Continuing to sing, and if we messed up we’d laugh while continuing. We generally knew all the songs we started, and if the other didn't they’d play matching chords, listening to the other sing. I played my fair share of John Denver and Neil Young, never forgetting a word. She seemed kin to Jim Croce and James Taylor. Not that I ever minded. Both of us were so perfectly contempt with just staying there and never stopping. We stayed like that for hours.

Eventually we did slow down, finishing “Annie's Song” by John Denver. Which of course I started. I looked up to see her tearing up, still she never stopped playing, nor did it seem that she wanted to. Her voice cracking when singing the lyrics. Once the finished I gently set my guitar down on the ground, and moved hers as well, she didn't seem to mind. Her eyes never moved from the ground, staying quiet rather than her normal talkative self.

“Little Bird, what's wrong?”

She looked up, her eyes red and puffy, tears streaming down her face. 

“Little Bird?” She asked. 

“I don’t know just trying it out.” I said quietly.

“Well nor am I little or a bird, but its cute.” Very voice barely audible.

 I pulled her in for a tight hug, not letting go. I whispered “Talk to me, Little Bird.”

She relaxed in my arms, wrapping her arms around me, quietly crying onto my shoulder, muffling her sobs. We stayed like that for a while, I let her take the time she needed.

She finally pulled back turning her back to me to wipe her eyes and face, then turning back around to face me with sad eyes.

“It’s nothing really. It’s not anything I cant handle. I have been handling it.” Her voice 

trailed off, but I didn't push her. I let her take her time to get her thoughts together. 

“It’s just a big jumbled mess i’ve learned to deal with. You know how home life can be.”

I nodded, moving a bit closer, listening to her words.

“It’s just, this career, its taking a toll on my relationships. My dad, he was a musician too, he never got anywhere, but he is really fucking good. Anyways he always played folk and old country, I guess he never really got my heavier style. Which is fine, that wasn't a problem.”

She paused a moment.

“Just.. He hasn’t accept me as real musician in a way, because of it. In his eyes, my work is along the lines of all the pop shit out there. Which hurts more than anything else. It’s not like i’m doing this for my dad, this is all me. There is just something about a parents judgement though, you hold it above everything else.”

I stayed quiet for a moment, processing everything. I knew that wasn’t everything. Annie's song is what caused her to cry, these situations have no correlation.

“I think. I think he just sees these country and folk legends as what they are, the best. I mean we all know that, but I think he's so tunnel visioned that nothing else compares. I’ve heard you, you’re fucking fantastic. I won't lie to you, I found your instagram and made it to the bottom. You're an amazing performer who’s doing more than most out there, more than me. I found that video of you using the violin bow, it blew my mind. I tried my hand at it, but I didn't come close to what you can do.”

I stopped myself, fearing id go into a hole of compliments and guitar talk.

“I digress, your dad is honestly dumb if he can’t accept how talented you are. Yeah, I said it, your dad is acting dumb.”

She laughed lightly, and leaned against me.

“Ah so you agree?”

She just hummed against me in agreement.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

I turned my head to look at her face, and asked “What's really wrong? I know this is probably one of them, but I have a suspicion that this isn't the main problem.”

She took a deep breath and sighed. 

“I was hoping you wouldn't see that.” She somberly laughed.

“Well, um. I had a fight with my..” She trailed off, “With my boyfriend.” 

My own mood deflated when she said that, let down. I just stayed still and listened.

“I've been ignoring him for days. Which is extremely shitty on my end, I deserve what I get. We just, ever since my bands been growing he’s been getting harder to handle. If that 

makes sense?”

I nodded.

“Well, uh, he’s always been the jealous type. Asking me if i'd rather be with other men,and  if we went anywhere he’d make it extremely clear to anyone that I was with him. It's gotten to the point that he has convinced himself that im cheating on him whenever I leave to go on tour. Which is quite often. It hurts to hear that the man you're with has zero trust in you. It really fucking hurts, you eventually just start blaming yourself for his actions.”

She took a sharp breath, slowly exhaling.

“So I started turning my phone off and just leave it off for days. I couldn't handle it, so I ignored it.” 

“Y/N.”

She continued.

“ I swear he’s good to me, he loves me. He just lets his jealousy get the best of him, it just takes over. Once im home its all okay, but that's like two months out of the year. It doesn't help my case that I have to argue his case…”

She went quiet, just thinking to herself. I honestly didn’t know what to say, so I just continued to hold her and be there for her.

“Thank  you for being with me tonight.” She said

“No problem, little bird.”

She smiled for a second before it faltered. 

“God knows what I would've gotten into tonight. Usually this is when Eli would bust out the coke, and by that point I’d be hammered. Maybe Asa would have suggested acid instead of coke. God, the amount of acid i’ve tripped on during shows. I did it nights in a row, which isn't the safest thing. This is the tamest thing i've done weeks. I can't remember the last time I didn't drink into oblivion.”

“All to drown out the noise..” she said under her breath.

“I honestly don’t know what to say, Y/N.”

“I know, i’m a mess.”

“No, it's not that. I just, I want to give you some type of advice, I want to help you. I just don’t know how.”

“Thank you, Jake. The boys have all tried in their own ways. There is just nothing I can do.”

She gave a weak smile and pressed in closer for a second.

“No one should be treated that way, its bullshit. Love is trust, and that kind of jealousy isn’t the right kind of love. You know?” 

She weakly scrunched her shoulders.

“I’ve only known you for I think two days? I don't know if this is crossing a line for our two days of friendship, but I just have to say. You can’t take this bullshit from him, you’re a fucking rockstar who takes no shit. You definitely don't from any of these guys, and especially the business side of it. You're playing whatever you want on that stage, you obviously fought for that freedom. Fight for this one freedom.”

She moved out of my side, my arm falling from her shoulder.

She laid her head in her hands, running her hands 

through her hair. 

“Fuck. I know you're right. I know it, I.. I just can’t break away from him. Ive built my life around him, it’s just like that fucking Fleetwood Mac song.” 

She suddenly turned around, facing me, her eyes sad and heavy.

“Can we play one more song?” She asked.

“Anything, Little Bird. As long as it isn't Landslide.”

She weakly laughed and shook her head, focusing on her guitar.

She started the chord progression for “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison. 

Just like before at practice, she played with every emotion poured into it. Melting into the song, letting it all out. I joined it after the first few verses, playing the solo part on my guitar, letting her focus on the words. During the chorus the both of us threw caution into the wind and belted it. No longer harmonizing, but just being in the moment. Connecting with the universe, as Morrison intended. Never letting our voices falter throughout the rest of the song, belting every word. Both of us playing our guitars as if our lives depended on it. 

We crescendoed into silence, both just sitting in the moment. Reveling in it.

She suddenly broke the silence.

“Hungry?”

“Starving.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually we made it back to her bus, both of us exhausted. She made it to her small pantry searching for something. I plopped down on the couch, leaning back into it. I closed my eyes and heard her pop something into the microwave. The clicking of her heels getting louder as she grew closer. She sat down next to me, leaning her head against my shoulder. A small smile growing on my face. 

“Thanks, Rockstar”

“My Pleasure, Little Bird.”

Chapter 4

[keyofjetwolf]

Elisabeth: Kitsch

SO EXCITED TO DO THIS ONE. This didn’t wind up being my favourite song from the musical, but I think it comes a very respectable second. The Interplay between the history and the FEELING of history is so interesting to me, the way that we soften the edges to fit the things we’d rather learn.

Perhaps more than any other, this is Lucheni’s song. He fulfills his usual role, bridging the scenes with the relevant high points, but it’s in this one where I feel he shines brightest. And that’s true, despite the fact that the Takarazuka and Essen versions come at it in very different ways with very different messages. Even with the lighter and less critical spin on the song, this is Takarazuka Lucheni at his cheeky best.

And as for Essen Lucheni, his anger for the aristocracy is perhaps outdone only by how much he hates each and every one of us for buying what they sell.

Both are great versions of the song, particularly in the story that they’re choosing to tell. SO COME LET US EXPLORE

Even just a cursory viewing of the two performances show how dramatically different they are in what they’re telling. The most important information we need to learn is how Hungary is becoming Austria-Hungary with Franz Joseph and Elisabeth as its rulers, so in this, both versions are the same. Both also, in a very broad way, look to strip Elisabeth of her mystique somewhat, but with very different ideas of what that means.

The Takarazuka version is almost entirely focused on Elisabeth’s beauty and her obsession with it. As I’ve been watching the two versions much more closely for these posts, it’s a recurring trend I’ve noticed where the Takarazuka makes changes. The song in the cafe, for example, has the patrons commenting specifically on her waist size and diet. (My guess is that this is a cultural choice meant to highlight something specific about Elisabeth, but I don’t have that perspective to extensively comment on it beyond noting it, and how those changes affect my personal relationship with the songs.)

Elisabeth, Takarazuka Lucheni tells us, has assigned diplomats throughout the world to send her pictures of their stationed country’s most beautiful women.

“She knew well that beauty fades and strength fails.” It’s a great line and probably the most critical the Takarazuka version gets of Elisabeth. Though I have to note that it comes right before discussing how Sophie is still in control in Vienna, and coupled with how Sophie will be shown fading shortly, I wonder if the line isn’t as much commenting on Elisabeth’s strategy against her rival as it is awareness of the expiration date of her own primary weapons. POR QUE NO LOS DOS

We also have this, which is wonderfully cynical and true.

It’s also a brilliant example of how Takarazuka Lucheni delivers that cynicism: slyly, like he’s sharing an in-joke with us. OH THE RICH AND POWERFUL WE SURE KNOW WHAT THEY’RE LIKE DON’T WE THOSE SCAMPS

This entire number in the Takarazuka version is ITSELF a fantastic example of the kitsch it sings about. The ladies are in hilariously overdone “national” costumes that border on offensive. They parade back and forth, representing everything but saying nothing, much like the gesture of Austria “joining” with Hungary. I still can’t decide if I think this was an intentional turn by the creators adapting the musical for Takarazuka, or a delightful side effect, but it’s a spectacle and I enjoy it either way.

The Essen version, though. The Essen version is here to slaughter everyone and it is gloriously full on its shit.

Essen Lucheni comes out swinging and socks you right across the jaw AS YOU WELL DESERVE. Much like Takarazuka Lucheni, he begins by interacting directly with the crowd. He’s not taking photographs though, not capturing the moment, he’s handing out fliers. I don’t know what the cards were, but I hope hope hope they were advertisements for what was on sale in the theater lobby. Either way, in the act of handing something out and the audience members taking it, we’ve become part of the performance. We’re complicit now, we’re willing customers.

Without pause, Lucheni begins. He sings before a dark backdrop, the inside of the cathedral where all the action is taking place. We can’t see, as those gathered at the actual moment would be similarly excluded. BUT WE’RE STILL HERE. We’re near the significance, and that’s good enough. We buy a token, proof that history happened near us, a cheaply made lie that assures us that we mattered.

Lucheni would rather sell us the truth, but we’d never buy it.

The Essen actor for Lucheni is really incredible. He’s not as likable as the Takarazuka actress (WHO AMONG US COULD), but he’s also not trying to be. What he is is darkly funny, devastatingly insightful, and FURIOUS. Even knowing that Lucheni will kill Elisabeth, I spent most of the Takarazuka version actively looking for the point at which he “turns”, a specifically placed marker for the murderer we know he will become. I never found it. OH I SPECULATED A LOT. There was nothing to find, though. It wasn’t seamless so much as it was a switch flipped, and suddenly Lucheni was a sniveling minion keen only to do Death’s bidding.

There’s never a question in the Essen version. I completely believe that if Elisabeth appeared in front of him at any point in the story, he’d shank her again, every single time, with whatever he just happened to have on hand. Nothing but a Playbill? THAT’S FINE I’LL MAKE IT WORK.

But as I said earlier, Lucheni’s rage is wide and deep enough for us all. “Kitsch” is doing several things, but none so much as it’s yelling at humanity past, present, and future, for lifting Elisabeth (and any rich powerful fuck really) to this level of uncritical, adored deification utterly removed from who and what she truly was.

ELISABETH IS STILL ON SOCKS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE IN THIS THE YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND AND NINETEEN

“People only hear what they want to hear,” Lucheni says in disgust, “and so what remains after some time from beauty and from shit, from dream and reality...”

A quick aside to say how much I love the background lights coming up briefly on Lucheni’s “Kitsch!” cue to reveal all the spectacle we’re not part of. But it’s a glimpse, a tiny taste to entice us to come back next time.

I feel I could keep pulling stuff out of this performance forever, but there are a great many more scenes and songs to go through yet. I’ll leave this here, then, the Essen version of this song. It’s just over three minutes, and even without more context than I’ve given in this post, I think it’s well worth your time to check it out.

There’s one more thing I feel it’d be disingenuous of me to not comment on, which didn’t quite hit me until partway through this post. I’ve said a few times now, how the Takarazuka version is the same play, but also really not. It goes out of its way to pull a lot of the complexity from Elisabeth as a person and a character, and in overall tone is generally uncritical and much lighter, choosing to primarily become a fairy tale style love story. There are several conversations that can be had in that, about that degree of story alteration, where the line is between history and fiction, how far that line can be bent, and a dozen other topics.

This thought isn’t anywhere near that deep, don’t worry. But I do think it’s extremely interesting how the Takarazuka version of Elisabeth is, in nearly every single way, the "heartfelt, sweet, and sensible” thing Essen Lucheni is furious with us all for doing in “Kitsch”.

And finally, I love how the Essen version includes this moment of intense self-awareness. What a good fucking song.

KITSCH!

[arcticmaggie]

The Art of Deception (pt 1)

Y/N can’t believe the curly haired man is seriously trying to use her own trick against her.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None!

A/N: okay listen this is super short but I wanted this to be a kinda mini series! Like try not to put too much in each chapter, just a bit of humor and cute Halloween fun! ALSO OKAY BOTH Y/N AND HARRY ARE SUPERNATURAL IN THIS. Fun! Feedback is appreciated! Sorry if there’s any errors!

Y/N has never truly enjoyed using her ability to have her way.

She feels icky inside whenever she stares into a boy’s eyes and tells him to buy her dinner. Or whenever she ‘convinces’ her professor to let her turn in her essay a week late. But these are all emergencies; she has to use her powers (or at least, that’s what she tells herself).

And it’s not like anyone is being harmed! She only made Nick pay for her meal that one time she hadn’t eaten all day and her card declined. Besides, she gave him her leftover pumpkin pie a week later during Thanksgiving. And Professor Davis is just plain cruel for making the essay due only two days after they had started taking notes on the Age of Sensibility. So you can’t blame her for needing more time for research.

Y/N’s a good succubus, if there was such a thing. She’s never thought about taking souls, even if it means suffering through the disgusting diet her shaman Kayla puts her on to absorb the nutrients she needs (a whole lot of goat’s blood mixed with crushed pinecones and kale). And she knows she’s going against the rules of a succubus, refusing to sleep with any guy because of her innate wickedness, but there aren’t any of them roaming around near her to take notice or judge her for it. Plus, even without wanting to, she still lures strangers in with her aura to do illogical things for her (like give her their only pencil during class or give up their seat on a bus when she can easily just stand) so the least she can do is not eat their souls.

So Y/N finds herself, once again, in a sort of conundrum on a Thursday morning, pulling on one end of an umbrella while a tall, curly haired bloke pulls on the other end. She’s in a hurry to get to her 9 am class (which starts in 15 minutes) and since she doesn’t have a car and it’s raining, she ran to the drug store a block from her apartment to buy an umbrella. The only problem with this is that everyone else living in the same area as her must have had the same idea, seeing that as soon as Y/N walked in through the door, two other people strolled past her with the umbrellas that they just purchased. Leaving one single red umbrella hanging in the stand at the back of the store.

She feels quite lucky as she speed walks to the stand, mentally thanking the higher being above (quite ironic, being a succubus and all). But that feeling of joy and relief is swept away as she stands there with a frown beginning to form on her face as she tries to grasp it out of the man's hold.

“Um, can you please let go,” she asks, as she keeps her eyes cast down, not wanting to use her last resort just yet.

“Why? If I grabbed it first,” he responds with a very low grumble, which kind of startles Y/N for a quick second.

Her frown deepens (because he most certainly did not, she grabbed the end first before he came out of nowhere and gripped the other end) and glances up to him, locking into green irises.

He’s attractive, is the first thing she thinks. 

Too attractive. There’s something odd about how undeniably handsome he is. His curly hair is elegantly styled on his head, his eyebrows naturally arched, his nose cutely pointing straight down, his ruby lips perfectly adorning a frown. He’s too hot.

Her analysis over his facial features leaves her silently staring at him for an awkward couple of seconds, and she kinda feels sorry for the guy being under such an intense gaze. She can’t imagine what it must feel like to have a sex fiend openly judging your looks.

But as she continues looking at his face, she sees a smile start to tug on his lips (quite the opposite of what she expected his reaction to be) and he opens his mouth once more.

“You’re quite pretty.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shoot up in astonishment. She’s used to the compliments from all the guys that fall victim to her aura, but she’s really not using her supernatural side to ease him up right now and she can usually at least feel her body radiate this aura when it’s happening on its own.

So the quick change in attitude leaves her cautiously responding with, “I- thank you. I still need the umbrella.” She gives a quick tug on the object but he still maintains his firm grip, possibly tightening it even more.

His smirk stays plastered on. Not fazed by how unfazed Y/N is.

“It’s quite funny, cause so do I. This coat,” he shrugs his shoulders up to indicate the heavy black coat warming his upper body, “was quite an expensive buy. So you can imagine how awful it would be if I let it get drench in the rain. That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?”

Y/N’s eyebrows are now furrowing down.

He’s… he’s doing the thing, she thinks to herself. He’s using the succubus voice. There was no denying that the tone in his voice had gone lighter, like how an adult eases their tone when talking to a child. Or in her case, how she talks to the boy she wants to scoot over so she can get a better view of the board in her Astronomy class.

But he’s not a succubus. She would know when one is around. A succubus is pretty territorial over their ‘hunting ground,’ but she’s not really feeling any kind of dominance overtake her. Considering, the last time one came near her campus, she felt her body burn in fury and had a dire need to take the girl walking next to her in her full glory. So she knows that this man in front of her isn’t one of them.

He lifts an eyebrow at Y/N, considering she’s still bluntly staring up at him with curious eyes. She realizes she still hasn’t answered his question. Doesn’t even remember what it was. Just answers with, “I guess.”

He responds with the same stoic expression, except Y/N picks up on his nose flaring up a bit. He’s frustrated. But that’s all he shows, because his smirk turns into a smile and he tugs on his end of the umbrella, making her stumble a bit closer to him.

“Darling, you seemed like you were in a hurry when you entered the store. So how about we make this a lot faster and just let me buy it, yeah? I’m sure any boy will see you in the rain outside and would automatically give you something to cover your cute self up with.”

She’s not even paying attention to anything he’s saying at this point. Just the way he’s saying it. Why is he using the same tactic as her? Y/N can clearly tell that’s what he’s doing. He’s holding very direct eye contact to ensure that she’s feeling the enticement. His voice is becoming softer, trying to leave her vulnerable. It’s absolutely how a succubus seduces their next victim.

So what is he? Is he just a cocky human that thinks any girl will fall to their knees to give him what he wants? Or is he another supernatural being that knows he can get any girl to give him what he wants? With whatever mystical powers he holds.

Y/N begins to rack through her brain for any sort of creature she’s read upon before that she knows has the same manipulating ability as she does. Kayla only let her read her official book of connections to the Otherworld that one time that Y/N was almost completely drained from not drinking her ‘protein shake’ in a month and she needed a distraction to keep her conscious while Kayla was stirring one up. And even with that one sitting, Y/N learned that she wasn’t the only temptress of the night or the only soul eating creature. But she’s coming up blank. They all had different mechanisms in catching their prey (they’re quite aggressive and she really doesn’t like it; why can’t they just do what she’s supposed to do and fuck a man before draining his life away while he sleeps?) She really doesn’t know anything else that can easily look into someone’s eyes and tell them what to do and they’ll do it. Unless…

“How about this: I take the umbrella, I pay for it, I use it, and then when I’m done,” his free hand lifts up and—oh. He grazes his fingers against the top of her right cheek, slowly bringing them down to her jaw, all with a knowing smirk planted back on his lips. “I can look for you and it’s all yours. How does that sound, beautiful?”

He’s—he’s a vampire.

Oh my god, he’s a vampire.

Y/N can not believe that she’s in the presence of a living (well, unliving) vampire. She never even knew they were real.

I mean, of course! The entire Earth knows about these creatures and the folklore enough for it to be absolutely plausible that they exist, but holy fuck! Edward 2.0 is standing right in front of her! No wonder he’s trying to hypnotize her! He thinks she’s a human.

But wait, shouldn’t he know that she isn’t? I mean, from what she’s seen in Twilight, they have an incredible sense of smell. And she knows that a succubus has a sort of distinct spicy cinnamon smell (she thinks it’s because of their whole sexual nature that they smell like a spice), so shouldn’t he know what she is? I mean, she’s looking right at him, completely unfazed by his attempt to manipulate her. Surely he can see how it’s not working on her.

Speaking of which, he’s still staring at her very intensely and Y/N is now struggling to keep her grin from peaking through. She doesn’t want to let him in on her little revelation.

She’s forgotten what he said again, so she just gives in and releases her hold on the umbrella, earning her a prideful smile on the stranger’s face.

“Thank you, my love.”

He lets the eye contact linger for a few more seconds before dropping his hand that was still tracing a small pattern in her face and swiftly shuffles past her, walking up to the cashier. Y/N is still standing at the stand, absolutely flabbergasted.

Her back is to the man so she lets her smile finally peak through, biting her bottom lip intently over this moment. She doesn’t know why she’s so ecstatic about finding out vampires exist; it’s not like she’s never met any other dark creature before (there’s a particular ghoul who lives on the second floor of her apartment complex that gets really rowdy during December and she’s asked it to shut the hell up a few times). But whatever the reason, it’s got her giddy.

Almost giddy enough to forget what time it is. Almost.

Y/N looks down at her hand that takes out her phone and watches the screen light up as it shows she only has 7 minutes left until her Astronomy class starts. Which is about 2 blocks away. Shit.

Her smile quickly leaves her lips and she turns back around to see the man thank the cashier as he drops his change back into his wallet and starts to turn towards the door with the umbrella in his hand, ready to burst open.

Shitshitshithsit, is all that runs through her mind as she thinks about what to do next. She shoves her hand into her pocket and pulls it back out, now grasping the $20 that she was going to use on the umbrella. She quips her head back to see the price bar on the stand, a whopping $13 and feels her heart begin to beat as she decides on what she’s going to do.

She prays to the heavenly Lord above once more (maybe she should, like, be praying to the boss down under instead?) to forgive her for being so rude as she sprints over to the dead immortal being, opening up the Velcro on his new purchase as he’s halfway to the door.

Y/N quickly shoves her hand into his coat’s right pocket, evoking a surprised breath intake from the stranger as she drops the $20 bucks securely inside before yanking her hand out. She lifts her gaze up to lock eyes with him once more, seeing the look of utter shock strike his face. Surely, she thinks to herself, he must know he’s not that special when it comes to deceiving humans.

Her lips form an apologetic smile before letting out, “Sorry, bloodsucker. I hate the rain. Surprised you’re not basking in it since the sun isn’t peaking out all day,” and yanks the umbrella right out of his hand. Quite easily, considering he was still in a state of shock, even more so now that she called him the B-word.

Y/N sprints the rest of the way to the exit and opens the door swiftly while simultaneously opening the umbrella and bringing it over her head. She decides to take one last look at the gentleman, still receiving the same look of how did this not work on her?

Yet again, the apologetic smile creeps back up and she quickly adds in, “Don’t worry, I’m really good at tracking people down. I’ll give it to you when I’m done with it.” And Y/N treads on through the two blocks to today’s class discussion on Andromeda and it’s known solar systems, leaving behind a man that has absolutely no fucking clue what just happened.

[cowboy-canoodler]

A High Note of Love: Part 5

( Idk why I’m still writing this, not many people read it but w/e. I really like this chapter, but I’m also a whore for Sean so whatever lmao. I also do not do well with the other women in the camp, i have no idea how to write most of the men either but hey ho whatever!)

Master list :http://cowboy-canoodler.tumblr.com/post/183094165570/a-high-note-of-love-master-list

Sean, and Arthur were about to ride you to their camp to introduce you to the rest of the gang. Your heart was beating rapidly inside your chest, if they didn’t like you what would you do? Arthur was loyal, you knew that, and you didn’t want to force this choice on him, mainly because you knew that he wouldn’t choose you.

Your clothes now resembled someone of the higher society, but not high enough that the gang would be repulsed by you. You chose a deep emerald green gown, with gold lace accents along the collar, cuffs, and along your bustle, a small bonnet with Lillies adorned your head. You held a small suitcase full of day clothes and some make up to touch up later on, you had a feeling that you wouldn’t be riding back home tonight. A last look in the mirror and you were satisfied with you final outfit, you turned to leave your room and show yourself to Arthur. He was stood with his back at the bar, smoking a cigarette, you could see specks of mud on the back of his neck, some blood too.

“Those are bad for your health you know” You commented making your way towards him.

“Says who?” Arthur turned around with a smirk on his face, but his mouth fell agape when he saw you, “Hot damn”

“What?” You panicked, “Do I look okay?” You started looking down and around your outfit in a panic.

“No no! You- You look beautiful (Y/N)” Arthur looked lost for words, his eyes bore a hole into your outfit, almost as if he hadn’t seen one quite like it.

“Oh” Your head snapped up to meet his gaze with a blush dusting your cheeks, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear you replied, “Th-Thank you Arthur”. A smile crept its way into your face and you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, “We shouldn’t keep Sean waiting”

“I guess you’re right, don’t know how happy I am that he’s comin’ on our ride, but it is what it is I s’pose” Arthur placed a hand on your shoulder and started leading you out of the door of the bar and there was a delicate touch to his hand as if he were handling something precious.

Sean was restless on his horse looking around at the people scattered on the streets, “finally” he looked over at you and Arthur, who had removed his hand from you as soon as he saw Sean, “thought you were gonna bail on me!”

“Did enough bailin’ for you when we saved your damn ass from hangin’” Arthur chuckled helping you onto his horse, you were settled and Arthur hoisted him self in front of you and sat down, somehow slotting in front of you perfectly and you wrapped your arms around his stomach for balance. That’s what you told yourself anyway, but you enjoyed the feeling of him being close to you again. The only time you two had been as close as this was weeks ago when you shared a bed, neither you nor Arthur had tried to initiate sex again after that. IT somehow didn’t feel right, like you would ruin what was blooming.

“God Arthur! you speak of that all the time but it was years ago!” Sean lightly kicked his horse to start your journey.

“It was last week!” Arthur shouted back, their personalities were so different from each other and yet they worked so well joking around and making you giggle.

“You sure? Feels like years ago when I’m with such delightful comp’ny, say Miss (Y/N)?” Sean looked back at you with a grin on his face.

“Yes Master MacGuire?” You lifted a brow to the ginger lad, a curious tone to your voice, “How can one such as I help you?”

“What part of Great Britain are you from?” Sean suddenly got very serious, not forgetting this man was Irish and probably hated the English for all they had done against the Irish.

“Lesnewth, Cornwall. Though I no longer consider myself English, if my mother saw me today she’d refer to me as a-” You shrivelled your face up, as if eating a lemon, and spoke in an over exaggerated posh accent referring to your mother, “A dirty Yankee, you’re a disgrace upon the name of (Y/LN) and should be whipped!” All three of you left out a laugh at your impression of your mother, “Not a delightful woman to speak to my mother, unless you’re Queen Victoria of course!”

“She sure sounds like it!” Arthur was still chuckling at your impression earlier, you could feel his stomach muscles working with each breath.

“Lisnewth? I ain’t never heard of that, but Cornwall? Now you’re talkin! I’m gonna guess you’re family’s in Tin mining then?” A couple of men on horses passed giving you and Arthur a dirty look.

“My my Master MacGuire! How ever did you guess?” You were genuinely surprised that Sean knew of the Tin mining in Cornwall, then again Tin mining is the only thing to come out of Cornwall. “You guessed right though, my family used to own a small Tin mine, then the prices shot up and we became rich. Funny how it happens to the un-expecting, and the un-deserving” The last part you mumbled under your breath but you’re sure Arthur heard, you could feel his shoulders tighten in response.

“You don’t need to tell him (Y/N), he’ll only get attached to ya, and then you gotta talk to him everyday!” Was Arthur joking? This was a rare sight indeed, you could feel that he was relaxed around you, or maybe it was Sean, it would make sense for Arthur to be relaxed around someone he considers his family.

“What if I want to speak to Master MacGuire everyday?” You teased Arthur, pinching at his stomach a little.

“Exactly! What if she wants to speak to me? I’m handsome, charming-” Sean puffed out his chest as he started listing his good qualities.

“Loud, cocky, prone to shoot before thinkin’“ Arthur cut in and listed Seans seemingly bad qualities.

“Oh, trying to turn her against me are you Arthur? Well how about we let the lady decide?” Sean looked directly at you and you stared to burn up.

“Oh! Well- I- Uh- I don’t really know you yet Master MacGuire, but I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better” You smiled back. Arthur snapped his reins and demanded his horse move faster, trying to get you away from Sean no doubt.

“Arthur!” Sean shouted but you were well ahead of him.

“Arthur? What are you doing?” You asked, tugging your arms at his torso.

“I don’t like you talking to him”

“Is this jealousy Arthur? Get a grip!” You snapped at him, why did you snap at him? Part of you was happy he was jealous, but you also felt conflicted. You should be able to freely speak to men or women without repercussions, and you especially felt hatred towards the fact you were being told what you can and can’t do. “I can get to know whomever I want” You lightly hit your head on Arthurs back to give him a nudge.

Arthur pulled on the reins and slowed down to a trot, “I know, I know. I don’t wanna control you (Y/N), I just. Nevermind, we’re close to the camp now” Arthur looked back and saw Sean catching up to you both.

“The hell Arthur?” Seans hair was dishevelled and he was out of breath.

“I wanted her for myself for a bit, got a problem?” Arthur teased Sean again, but his comment did bring a little happiness to you. “Besides, I had no idea what y’all were talkin’ bout. Tin, Cornwall, Liscewth or whatever” Sean and Arthur carried on their bickering but you were looking out over the forest.

You could see the glow of fires in the distance, the sun had started to set and a warm glow enveloped the forest around you. Highlights of deer in the trees, the flowers on the ground, and leaves in the trees. The evening was beautiful and you were so glad you could be here to enjoy it.

“Who’s that?” A Voice shouted from the trees, it came from a big man with a black beard and rotund belly. He carried a rifle in his hands, cocked and ready to fire.

“Sean and Arthur ya dumbass!” Arthur shouted back.

“Who’s that?” The man nodded towards you, a furrowed brow and pressed lips on his face.

“She’s a friend, put your damn gun away. Don’t point it at a a lady”

“Pleasure to meet you sir” You offered a warm smile, this was the second member of the gang you were meeting and you wanted to make a good first impression.

“You sure we can trust her?”  An air of suspicion was suddenly around you, it was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

“Bill shut yer damn mouth, if I thought we couldn’t trust her do you think I would have brought her here?” Arthur rolled his eyes and dismissively waved his hand at Bill.

“Well I suppose so, but I got my eye on you Missy!” You were slightly taken aback by Bills forwardness, you stared Bill in the eyes as you and Arthur made your way past on the horse.

“I look forward to getting to know you in the future Master Bill” Did you? Part of you knew that the suspicion would never fade away, maybe he was like this with everyone, nevertheless you needed Arthurs family to like you.

You, Sean, and Arthur came up to the hitching posts and Arthur dismounted, with very heavy feet. You swung your right leg over the horse and slid your way off as gracefully as you could a slight lighter than Arthur. Sean gave you a wink and walked his way into the camp, waving at fellow gang members along the way. There were tents, carts, and tables set up with people jostling about, drinking and having fun.

“Is there a party or something?” You asked, walking your way alongside Arthur.

“Naw. No party. Jus’ glad to be alive I s’pose” Arthur looked handsome in the evening light, the orange shades of the sun lit up the highlights of his face, His broad nose, stubbled jaw, eyebrows, eyes, hat, everything about him. He was just a very handsome man in general. He soon looked down and caught you staring, “Somethin’ wrong?” His brow raised and his eyes widened.

“No not at all” Your breath hitched as you looked into his eyes, “Just admiring the view. The evening sun lights up your features perfectly Arthur” A warm breeze passed and the smell of smoke from the fires wafted by, you could hear singing and laughing from the camp members.

“Not much of a view if ya tell me” Arthur looked away, you had thought your compliment had made him smile but now only furrowed bros and a scowl remained, you brought a hand to Arthurs cheek and turned him to face you again.

“It’s one hell of a view Arthur” You smiled again, and so did Arthur this time.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Sean shouted as he ran up to you and Arthur, “I told some o’ the members about ya! Don’t be embarrassed to meet them!”

“Thank you Master-”

“Please call me Sean, I beg ya”

“Thank you, Sean” Sean winked once more and ran back off into the camp towards a woman with blonde shoulder length hair, in tight curls, a whiskey bottle grasped firmly in her hand. “Well, who should I meet now?” you didn’t want Arthur to know you were nervous but you were certain he had already noticed.

“Come one, I’ll let ya see Hosea” Arthur placed a guiding hand on you once more and brought you to a table with an older man sat at it writing in a book. He was well dressed, and well kept, silver hair slicked to one side, years tugging at his skin

“Are we interrupting?” Arthur asked sitting him self down.

“Not at all Arthur I-” Hosea looked up and caught your eyes, “Oh pardon me I didn’t realise I was in the company of a lady” He stood up and extended an hand, “Hosea Matthews”

You took his hand and gave it a light shake “(Y/FN) (Y/LN), nice to meet you” Hosea gestured for you to sit down and you complied.

“You’re English?”Hosea asked, his eyes piercing into yours, he was workign you out without uttering a word about it, you nodded in response, “Ah, been in America long?”

“A couple of years now, but it feels like I’ve always lived here” Arthur stood up and walked over to a couple of crates by a wagon, he pulled out three bottles of beer and made his way back over.

“America can be like that, Arthur how did you and Miss (Y/LN) meet?” Hosea looked over at Arthur and grabbed one of the beers.

“Oh, I was scopin’ a target in Saint Denis, he went into a saloon, I went in, and (Y/N) was singing that night. Jus’ so happened to listen in” Arthur popped off the bottle caps and handed a beer to you, which you gratuitously accepted.

“My dear girl, you’re a singer?” Hosea raised his eyebrows and you started to feel embarrassed.

“Yes, It’s nothing big I just sing a couple of nights a week. I’m not all that good that I deserve praise or attention!” You were waving your hands about trying to sound humble.

“Not all that good?” Arthur scoffed and took a swig of his drink, “Hosea she has a voice like an angel” His comment made you blush deeply, a light chuckle escaping from your lips.

“Arthur doesn’t give compliments like this lightly, so I’m compelled to believe him” Hosea took another swig of his drink, he was very slender and kept his appearance up.

“I must thank you then Arthur” you gave Arthur a slight judge with your elbow, an embarrassment taking over you, it was a nice thought that Arthur kept compliments like this for people who really deserve it, not like then men who throw them around to manipulate you into getting into their bed for the night.

“S’no problem, I’m only tellin’ the truth” Arthur looked over at Hosea who had returned to writing in his book, you couldn’t quite tell what he was writing but it looked like a map of sorts with arrows and directions. Arthur caught you staring and promptly stood up, “we’ll leave ya be Hosea, you got work to do I see” Arthur offered a hand out to you which you accepted, and you stood up grabbing s hold of your drink in your other hand.

“No problem Arthur” Hosea look up to you, “pleasure to meet you Miss (Y/LN).”

“And you too Mister Matthews” you gave a small curtsy and followed Arthur who had begun walking towards the campfire, towards a man with black hair, a poncho, hat, and a guitar, and another with shoulder length brown hair, a beer, and a gaunt expression.

“This here is Javier Escuella and Kieran O’Driscoll” Arthur extended a hand out towards the two men who had been sitting in silence prior to your introduction. They both looked up towards Arthur and yourself.

“I ain’t an O’Driscoll sir!” Kieran promptly responded before seeing you, “Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t see you there” he stood up and offered a hand of greeting towards you, “I’m Kieran, n-not with the O’Driscoll part Ma’am, my last name’s Duffy” His expression was soft, not battle hardened like the rest of the gang you had seen, a small lanky sort of boy who’s hair fell in front of his face.

“Calm down, I was jus’ jokin’ around” Arthur diffused, setting himself down next to Javier who gave him a quizzical look. You bowed your head towards Kieran and took his hand giving him a reassuring smile. Javier look up at you and gave you a small nod, “this here’s Javier”

“A pleasure to meet you both, I’m (Y/N) (Y/LN)” you kept your voice soft as you introduced yourself, Arthur was sat in the floor next to Javier and you sat on a log next to Keiran, Javier went back to looking at his guitar and the air went dead, not at all like how it was with Hosea. “Do you play Mister Escuella?” You asked after taking a sip of your beer.

“Si, one of the things that keeps camp home. It’s nice to meet you Senorita” The guitar was beautiful, and very well kept, no signs of wear on the strings, carved intricacies were all over it, and Javier hands were always soft when handling the wood. 

“(Y/N) here is a singer in Saint Denis-” Arthur looked over at you, his eyes sparkling in the firelight, a warm glow to his face, God he was even more handsome right now. Your heart was about to beat out of your chest as you met his gaze, you saw his mouth moving but didn’t hear a word as you stared at him. (Y/N)?  (Y/N)? You there?” Arthur waved a hand infront of your face and you blinked in response.

“Huh?” you shook your head and saw Javier, Kieran, and Arthur were staring at you, “Yeah?”

“You zoned out there, thought we lost ya” Arthur and Javier chuckled, Kieran sat quiet.

“Oh goodness I’m sorry, I daydreamed for a second there. My apologies” You shook your hands in front of you, slightly flustered by your air headed session.

“As Arthur was saying, you’re a singer in Saint Denis?” Javier placed his guitar down gently and reached for a bottle that sat next to him.

“Yes! It’s how Arthur and I met” You regaled the story once again to Javier and Kieran, the Mexican was cool an collected, he held himself with pride and was always the first to laugh at Arthur telling a joke, Kieran on the other hand was quieter so as not to disturb anyone with his presence, he almost breathed in a silent way to make sure no one could know he was nearby.

“Would you want to sing something for the camp tonight? They get restless when drunk, restless and loud. I’d love to have a trained singer for once and not whatever these guys call singing” Javier chuckled as Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Why, Mister Escuella. I would love to” Your face brightened immensely, a smile wide across your cheeks, this would be the best situation to introduce yourself to the gang members and show them what you could do. What if they think you’re showing off? They’ll think you’re above them. They’ll hate you.

Arthur stared at you in awe, his mouth turning to a small smile, pride filling his eyes when he looked at this amazing woman so giddy, so ready to show yourself to his family. “You’ll do great (Y/N)” He gave you a reassuring look as you stood up to follow Javier.

“It was lovely meeting you Kieran” You gave Kieran a smile, looking him directly in the eyes to show him you meant it.

“Oh, th-thank you Miss (Y/LN)” He looked surprised, maybe he thought you’d forget about him like everyone seemingly does.

As you followed Javier and Arthur to the main fire where Sean ,Hosea, and other gang members had convened you swallowed hard. 

Please god let them like me.

[kee-writestrashh]

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

Ao3

Summary:  You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events…

Chapter 14: Curtain Call

You sat there giddy in excitement, waiting on your name to be called. It was impossible to hide your feelings, as you wrung your hands in your lap.

Ramsay simply sat there, lost in deep thought by the look in his eyes until the sound of your shared lastname brought him to.

"How are we feeling today, (y/n)?" The nurse asked as you stepped on the scale.

"Fantastic!" You said, doing your best to keep your voice quiet.

The nurse smiled, "glad to hear. No problems?"

"Nothing I can't handle. Baby B and I are reaching an agreement in the eating arrangements now." You said as the nurse led you to the room.

"Good deal. So, looks like today we are finally getting to see the little one. Sorry we couldn't get you in on your first appointment, our tech was on holiday." The nurse said, smiling between you and Ramsay. "So, with that said, she will be in here in a couple minutes."

You glanced around the room. Full of wires and equipment. You gave your husband a small smile as you gripped his hand.

After only a few minutes of waiting the ultrasound technician entered with a knock.

"Good morning." She said with a smile and sitting in her swivel seat. She typed in a few things on her computer, pulled on a pair if gloves, and turned to you, "let's see this baby, shall we?"

You laid back on the bed, unbuttoning your pants as instructed and watching the tech place a blue paper cloth in your pants waist and pull a tube of gel from her table.

"Mkay, so it will be cold at first, but then it gets warm. Ready?" The woman said.

You bit your lip, grasping Ramsay's hand, and giving a nod.

The thick gel feeling weird as it began to warm, your eyes glued to the screen as finally your child came into view.

Your breath caught as you saw the tiny little human shaped form inside you. Ramsay said nothing as his eyes wandered over the screen. A stoic mask upon his face

"Looks like we are actually sitting at more at thirteen weeks. Projected due date is... uhm, June twenty seventh."

"How can I have been pregnant for so long and just now finding out about it?" You asked as the information penetrated you.

The woman gave a small laugh, "some women have no idea until they are almost due. Bodies are crazy. So in about, oh, i'd say six weeks we will take another look, just to make sure we have all our fingers and toes and see if we are a boy or girl."

You gave a small nod as the tech pulled away from you and pulling her gloves off, adding notes to her computer and printing out three of the pictures and handing them to Ramsay as you wiped the gel off your skin with the blue cloth.

In one hand you clutched your next appointment slip, and the pictures in the other as you climbed into the jeep. You wore a big grin watching the snow kiss the windshield.

"Hungry?" Ramsay asked, glancing around the parking lot.

"Well, I could eat." You said with a shrug. "I'd actually probably kill for some greasy hash browns and nasty ass McGridle."

"So specific." Ramsay chuckled.

xxx

"Where you going?" You asked sitting up from the couch.

"Gym."

You scrunched your nose. "Can't you just stay home with me, where it's warm?"

"I won't be long." He said, leaving.

"Pft. Okay." You muttered, laying back down on the couch and picking up your phone.

A knock came on the door. Thankfully the dogs were out back. You did not want to hear their obnoxious barking.

You rose from the couch and opened the door. There stood Tyene holding a plastic bag full of cookies and ice cream. A file folder in her other hand.

"Got what ya wanted." She said with a grin, walking in past you and falling into the couch, snatching up the remote.

You sat beside her, pulling the cookies toward you. You rose to your feet again and went to the kitchen for a spoon.

When you came back, it was to find Tyene shoveling cookies in her mouth and watching some anime on Netflix.

"Sooo... what's up with you and Matt?" You asked, giving her a sly grin.

Tyene grinned, "He's cute. A real sweetheart. And he's fucking funny. I like him. He turns eighteen in a couple months, and i’m only nineteen, so it's not like weird or anything."

"I thought you were twenty." You said, raising a brow at her.

"I may or may not have lied about that on my application. I've been doing this since I was thirteen, so sometimes I just kinda forget."

You shook your head and sat back down on the couch and picked up the folder. You slowly opened it. It was full to bursting with papers and evaluations. All of Ramsay's psych reports from age five.

After almost two hours and a whole half gallon if ice cream, you set down your spoon and set aside the folder.

"So, how much of a piece of work is your husband? I didn't get the chance to look." Tyene asked as you rose from the seat.

You gave a shrug.

She took the look on your face, and cocked her head. "(Y/n)? You okay?"

"Yeah. Just... I dunno." You said, your voice sounding unnaturally high as it left you.

'I'm a clinically diagnosed psycho.'

You weren't sure how to take in the information. He fit the bill. But he loved you. Right? Or was he just using you? Could he love you? Roose's words echoed in your mind,

'Obsession. That's what he has for you.'

'No.' you thought bitterly. 'he does love me. He has given me the world. He's never hurt me. He loves me.'

You pushed aside everything and gave a smile.

"Yeah, the baby just... I guess the ice cream was too cold or something. I'm okay." You said, snatching up the folder and pushing through the back door to the patio. "Do you smoke?"

"Yeah. Why?" Tyene called back, as the dogs pushed past you to get inside.

"I need a lighter."

You watched the papers curl up into ash. You then closed the lid of the grill and walked back inside.

"So, thought I should tell you. The Lannisters will be attending theater tonight for that new reenactment of Hamlet or whatever." Tyene said, snatching up her keys.

You nodded, "the boy?"

Tyene nodded, "all of them. And the Tyrell bitch."

"What theater?" you asked.

"That Mocking Bird place."

"Thank you." You said, seeing her to the door. Once closed you walked back to the couch and picked up your phone.

"Everything okay, baby girl?" Ramsay's voice said, through a heavy breath.

"Yeah. I just got info the Lannisters will be going to see a play tonight. All of them. The Tyrells included."

"Good girl. Dress nice. That backless dress. Diamonds over pearls. I'll be home soon. Pull out my finest."

xxx

"God, you're fucking sexy." Your husband purred, running his rough hand over the bare skin of your back, digging his nails in slightly, watching your skin form red lines.

Your cheeks flushed, "Thank you baby." You ran your hand over the front of your dress, your bulge very pronounced in the right fabric. It was exciting. It was little and not very noticeable to others, but you noticed it. You loved it.

"Don't shave." You said, as you watched Ramsay step into the shower.

"Whatever my queen commands." He replied.

"Bow tie tonight huh?" You asked, brushing Ramsay's hair aside. It was getting a bit long.

"Been awhile. And none if my ties match this jacket." Ramsay shrugged, stepping back from you and adjusting his cuffs. "Ready?"

You grabbed your clutch off the bed, slipped your phone inside and nodded.

It was always exciting when Ramsay took you out and went over the top, as he helped you into the limo.

"So, the plan is?" You asked, watching the slow city life of a Wednesday night downtown as the Ramsay danced his fingers across the bare skin of your thigh.

"You get friendly with the Tyrells." He whispered, leaning over and nibbling your neck.

"What about you?" You asked leaning into him more.

"You have your orders, I have mine." He murmured as the door opened.

The man at the door helped you out and as you straightened up you were surprised to see Roose and Walda standing there beside two men you didn't know. One was younger looking with a cocky air about him. The other looked ancient and like, well, a creep.

Ramsay placed his hand on the small of your back, "Father. Baelish. Frey." He said smoothly, inclining his head at each man in turn.

"Son. (Y/n)." Roose responded in his silky voice.

"Shall we?" The man named Baelish asked, motioning toward the entrance.

You and Ramsay fell into step behind the group. He gripped your hand almost painfully hard, but you weren't sure why. He wasn't mad at you. Must be his father.

A man at the entrance showed your party up a flight of velvet stairs and bowed you all in through a door to a half room with a balcony to see the stage.

The sight made you gasp slightly as you saw them. Tywin, Jaime, Cersei, Joffrey , Margaery, and her brother Loras. They all stood when your party entered. You took in Margaery. She was a beauty. Poor girl. Stuck with that blonde idiot boy. She was easily three years older than him.

"Roose and company. So glad you could all join us this evening." Tywin said, shaking your father in laws hand.

What the fuck was going on?

You saw Joffrey lean into Margaery and whisper something in her ear with a smirk. You saw her let out a forced giggle and a smile that betrayed her eyes.

You took your seat beside Ramsay, crossing your legs and toying with the clutch in your lap.

"You sure are a pretty little dove." Cersei spoke up, smiling rather unkindly at you.

"Thank you, ma'am. I get that all the time." You replied through a genuine smile that made hers falter slightly. Ramsay snorted, making Cersei drop her fake smile all together and give you both sour looks.

"I hear you and the Mad Dog are expecting. I have a dog too you know." Joffrey said maliciously nodding behind him to a man who had a very scared face. He grunted but said nothing. what a bitch to have a body guard. Pompous little shit.

"Well I think you are absolutely glowing. I only hope I look as beautiful when I'm pregnant." Margaery cooed with a big smile.

"Speaking of dogs, Bolton." Jaime spoke up, leaning forward in his chair, "I heard you were in the ring today. Getting a bit slow, huh?"

Ramsay gave a shrug, "Been awhile. Thought I'd give it one last go before the glory days are over."

"You neglected to tell me that, son." Roose said, eyeing Ramsay disdainfully.

You watched Ramsay's profile, as he turned to you, "go get me a drink baby girl. Top shelf. Don't let them water it. If they try to swindle me, shoot 'em."

You gaped. "Shoot 'em?"

"Politely, of course. This is a black tie affair after all." He said, slapping your ass as you stood from your chair.

"Allow me to come with. I'm a bit thirsty. Anyone else want something?" Margaery said standing quickly.

"You know what I like." Joffrey said, leaning back in his seat as if he owned it.

Margaery looped her arm through yours and you glanced back at your husband who gave you a wink and ran his tongue along his lips rather suggestively. Your cheeks burnt.

"So, are you excited?" Margaery asked, eyeing your belly.

"So excited. Got to finally see the little one this morning. It's so surreal." You gushed, unable to keep the excitement from your voice.

Margaery gave a tinkling laugh, "I hope to have one soon. I love children. I want so many."

"I suppose you're here to feel me out?" You asked rather bluntly. No point in beating around the bush.

"Naturally. As are you." Margaery said, her kind smile never faltering.

"Men." You huffed with an airy laugh.

"Right though? What do we even need them for? I'm sorry by the way. About your bar. And the what Joff did that night. I see Ramsay wasn't hurt too bad." Margaery said, tugging at her dress as you both descended down the stairs.

"He looks much better than he did." You replied sagely.

"I would have stopped it, if I had known in advance."

You weren't sure if she meant the shoot out or the bar. But it didn't matter.

You were a bit startled to see Olyvar at the bar.

"What can I get you ladies?" He asked, as if he didn't know you.

"Might as well just buy the whole bottle of your best whiskey." You said with a sigh, pulling your card from your clutch and sliding it across the counter.

You fingered the bottle waiting, as Margaery placed her order.

'What a bitch if that's what he likes.' you thought to yourself as Margaery paid for the two electric blue fruity drinks.

You gripped the bottle. "Can I get a glass, please? I'd rather if my husband didn't look like trash while getting trashed."

"Of course ma'am." Olyvar said, leaning forward as he slid the glass to you. "Tell Ramsay the Lannister's are tailing Stark." He whispered, glancing around.

"Thank you!" You said cheerfully, taking the glass and walking back over to where Margaery stood waiting on you.

"I have it that you aren't from the city?" Margaery said, sipping her drink as you made for the stairs.

"Nope. Little town about three hours from here. Came here for school, then I met Rams, and well, here I am." You said with a small laugh. What a story you would have to tell someday.

"Is it true he kills for fun? That's what Joffrey says."

You gave a small shrug, but said nothing.

"Does he... You know, hurt you?" She asked, quietly.

"No. He doesn't. He's very good to me." You said coldly.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to assume, I just thought he would be violent. After the things I heard."

You stopped on the stair, "What do you mean?"

"Oh. I only just meant... do you not know?" Margaery asked, taking you in.

"Know what?" You breathed narrowing your eyes at the woman.

Margaery looked around uncomfortably, then jerked her head to a bathroom door.

You stepped off the stair and followed her. Once inside she quickly checked the stalls and then locked the door.

"I don't know the truth of it, but I heard Cersei talking with Jaime and Tywin about Roose and Ramsay the other day. Jaime was saying how he doesn't blame Ramsay for constantly undermining his father. Now with Domeric gone, Ramsay is the only one with the Bolton last name, Roose won't end his family name that easy. But, apparently Roose used to beat the hell out of Ramsay. Abused him in ways that make women shudder. He ran away to go to school and box and started the Bastard's Boys. They say that's why he tortures and kills people." She shifted on her feet, "like I said, I don't know how much of that is true. Just what I heard."

You stared at the girl in front of you, trying to process the words.

"Antisocial personality." You whispered to yourself, remembering the psych reports.

You cleared your throat, "we better get back."

"Knew I married you for a reason." Ramsay chuckled as he took the bottle and glass from you as you sat down.

You gave a small smile and turned your gaze to the stage.

You blindly watched Hamlet. Margaery's words echoing in your head.

Ramsay's hand on your back made you jump.

"They all die." He whispered.

You rolled your eyes, "I know what happens."

"Come here." He said gruffly, pulling you into his lap.

He smelt like the bottle he just damn near drained.

"Stop. It's not the time." You hissed as his fingers trailed under your dress.

"Baby girl, any time is the time. Think I care what any of these fucks think? I'll bend you over this balcony and fuck you right here, right now. Maybe teach these cunts a thing or two about enjoying life." He growled, resting his palm against your pussy. "No undies, huh? And you said it wasn't a good time."

Your cheeks flushed and you stifled a gasp as your husband slipped a finger in you.

"You know I have no underwear." you retorted through a hiss.

You cast around, but no one was paying attention. They were all engaged in conversation, pretending to like one another.

"Baby, stop it. I don't wanna ruin this dress." You whispered, unable to keep yourself from relaxing into him.

"I'll buy you a new one." He replied and a throaty voice as he slid another finger inside you.

You leaned back into him, bringing your hand behind you to fumble with his belt. Once you had gotten it loose enough you slid your hand in his pants.

He made a noise and shifted as you gripped him tightly in your hand, running your thumb over his tip, spreading his precum. He shifted again, apparently becoming very uncomfortable.

"The Lannister's are tailing Ned Stark." You whispered in his ear as you rested your head back on his shoulder.

Ramsay jerked, pulling his fingers from you and wiping them on the inside of your leg.

"Who told You that?" He asked, running his bloodshot eyes over your face, pulling your hand from his pants and fixing his belt.

"Oly. He's working the bar." You said, unsure of what you were seeing on Ramsay's face.

"We need to go." He said, sliding you from his lap and standing abruptly. He grabbed your hand and made toward the door before stopping suddenly. "Oh yeah." He muttered, shoving his hand in his pocket.

You noticed everyone looking at you both, many looks calculating.

Ramsay thrust something into Joffrey's hand, "word of the wise, kid. If you wanna cause mayhem, leave no evidence."

You looked down at the gold, lion shaped cufflink and saw Joffrey swallow uncomfortably.

"Where are you going son?" Roose asked, standing.

You looked at your father in law with cold malice and burning hatred.

"Home. My wife says this isn't the place to fuck her." Ramsay said smoothly. You gave him a dirty look, your ears burning.

You leaned back into the seat of the limo, welcoming your husband's touch as he made various phone calls.

You ran a hand over your belly, as Margaery's words sounded again. 'He won't let his family name end so easily.'

"No. He's waiting to see of I'm carrying a boy. Then he will kill Ramsay. Six weeks. I need to figure out what to do." you thought with a sigh, closing your eyes as you felt Ramsay's weight on you.

You peeked your eye open to see him sliding to his knees in the floor board. He grabbed your hips rather roughly and slid you to the edge of the seat. He bunched your dress and pushed it up to expose you, and ran his scruffy jaw against your thigh as he placed sloppy kisses to your bare skin.

"Rams, stop. We are almost home." You hissed, swallowing the moan threatening to escape you.

You glanced out the blackened window to see multiple police cars shoot past the red light. You frowned. Ramsay pulled away from you and sat up right watching the lights until they were out of sight.

He pulled out his phone. You saw the questions swarming on his face.

"Why did your father seem interested in you fighting again?" You asked suddenly.

Ramsay looked up at you, licking his lips. "Money."

"I don't understand?" You said, furrowing your brow.

"Well, plenty of money to be made. He'll bet against me if I decide to fight again, I'm sure." He said, glancing back down at his phone.

"What happened between you and your father?"

Ramsay gave you a cold look before putting on a sickly sweet smile. "Nothing. We just don't get on well. Now, don't ask questions baby girl."

You frowned. The rumors were apparently not rumors after all.

You fell on to the couch with a sigh, turning the nightly news on. You made it just in time. You slid your heels off, leaning back into the cushion, waiting on the commercials to be over.

The anchorman had a very grim look on his face.

"Good evening folks. Tonight we bring you dismal news as sources are pouring in that Police Chief Ned Stark was shot to death in cold blood just a little over thirty minutes ago as a group of masked men abducted his eldest daughter outside of the mall where she works. We will bring you more information on the story as it comes in."

You gasped. That's where those cop cars had been going.

"Ramsay!" You called, eyes glued to the television.

"Hm?" He asked a few moments later. You glanced over at him, flushing as he only wore a towel at his hips. But you pushed that away and rewound the report.

"Listen!" You cried, hitting play.

Ramsay sat on the couch, running his hand over his stubble and running his tongue over his top teeth.

"Well, this complicates things." He finally spoke.

[m3gz77]

2x4

Part Seven

Pairings: Bucky x OFC’S?

Warnings: All of them. All the warnings.

Words: 1,978.

Summary: Bucky/Asset get stuck with one of us. 

Authors Notes: This story has ruined my sense of self. Enjoy.

Rydian

I was swirling and swimming, drowning inside my own mind. Fear trapped me down in the cold dark nothingness, where I hid from his grasping hands and greedy mouth.

Suddenly a voice called out to me. The water obscuring it somehow.

“Look at me.” I wanted too, but everything was dark and I couldn’t see through the dark waves crashing against me.

I heard a rumble like a faraway motorcycle and pain flared from my jaw. Had he finally found me?

“Rydian, look at me.” The voice was soft but then became harsh without warning.

“Eyes on mine.” The voice demanded.

My eyes shot open, fully expecting to see Him, instead it was another him. The masked him. His blue gaze froze me in place and I stopped struggling.

“Good girl.” He praised me waiting a moment before he removed his metal hand from my mouth.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I-I don’t know.” Words started flowing from my lips and I couldn’t comprehend any of it, the words just slid out my voice sounding funny, hollow.

“No I did, its only you and me here, your safe.” He spoke and something seemed to snapped within me.

I could suddenly see him, his eerie choice of clothes, his demanding eyes hidden under unkept hair, and that blarging mask that was absolutely terrifying. My fear shifted to anger and I felt my blood boil.

“Safe? With you?” He recoiled from me like I had burned him, his eyes filled with, is that guilt? Good.

I let him have it, all of my nerves pooling together and fueling my rage. I was so fudging mad I wanted to punch something. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms. When I finally stopped I was out of breath, and gulped in air greedily, still reeling from yelling at him.

I stared him down waiting for him to do something, anything. He looked guilty, and confused before he settled on anger. It was like talking to a wall. There was no point in trying to get through to him. 

I was on the verge of storming off back to the car when he took a deep breath in and growled it out just before his arms went up to his face. 

He was going to take the mask off! For me? Suddenly I was the guilty party. I knew he didn’t want to take it off, but he would. He would trust me enough to let me see all of him. I realized I didn’t want him to show me. 

“Wait.”

His hands froze one over the face of the mask and the other behind his head. He had been looking down but his eyes flicked up and caught mine in his steely gaze.

“You don’t have too, how about a name instead?”

I felt bolder then I thought I’d be and it made me flush. I never yelled, and unless I had too I didn’t really talk to people. I’m small and quiet, invisible just the way I liked it, but now. Since him. I was almost like a whole new person and it scared the crud-nuggets out of me. 

He was quiet for a moment deciding what to do, re-strapping the mask he hung his hands at his sides. I decided I was glad that he trusted me enough to let me see him, but I didn’t want him too, not unless he wanted to show me. So for now I would trust him enough to wait until he was ready.

“I can’t.” His eyes were hard but his words were small and tight.

“Why?” I hadn’t meant to say it so fast but my mouth was working faster than my brain at the moment. 

He looked conflicted his eyes squinting and it gave me the impression that it was one of those scenarios where ‘If I tell you, I’d have to kill you.’ That was why his next words caught me so off guard. 

“I don’t remember what my name is.” He sounded far away, and his voice was rough as if it wasn’t accustomed to using so many words. 

His brows pulling together a thin crease forming between them. He doesn’t know his name? He looked so lost. What the crud had happened to him? I tried to switch tactics because he looked like I did just before I lost my reality in a flashback.

“What do you want me to call you?” 

His confusion and dazed look got worse, his pupils blown out leaving a thin ring of blue as he gazed through me. I wanted to help him because he had helped me; even if I had yelled at him. 

He was standing frozen a foot or so back from me gazing straight ahead seeing nothing at all. I had to do something. I raised my hands slowly and stepped forward. I didn’t know if he was registering my movements but I certainly hoped so.

I brought one hand up to my mouth as I placed my other on his cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. His pupils abruptly shrank to needle points and his eyes cleared as I made contact with his face. 

His metal arm came up and wrapped around my neck shoving me down into the dirt. Hovering over me he squeezed, I grabbed his wrist with both of my hands trying to get air. 

His head tilted to the side and his dead eyes scanned over my body, flicking about until they finally landed on my eyes. His chest rumbled as he lifted me by my throat like I weighed nothing and he placed me on my feet. 

Releasing me he spun me around and pushed me by the back of my neck towards the still running car, all while I gasped in air trying to catch my breath.

Asset

Infuriating little girl. I slammed her into the ground. What to do with you? She had sent him running back into our mind to hide like a frightened child. That won’t do. I could kill her, right here. I tightened my attachment around her small throat. No-one would ever hear her screams. 

I can’t. He would never come out again if I killed her. That wouldn’t do. I would have to keep her alive and get him to kill her. Maybe if he accepted that he’s a killer like me he would see us the way I do; as a unit. A unit where I am the boss.

I yanked her off the ground and herded her back to the car, shoving her inside before slamming the door. I stalked around to the drivers side and got in slamming my door and I sped off. She slammed into the seat as I took off and it made me smile.

She curled in on herself, fingers going to her mouth. This was going to be exhausting waiting for him to come back.

Rydian

He was being so aggressive, the shift had happened so suddenly just like last night. What the fudge was happening? I curled up in the seat as he slammed his door. I brought my fingers to my mouth and he started to growl. Deal with it, I said to him in my head. 

However he didn’t ‘deal’ very well, he grabbed my hand and basically threw it in my lap. I brought my other fingers to my mouth and earned a particularly aggressive growl from him. 

Abruptly he reached down and grabbed my bag from the floor in front of me. I looked out the window ignoring him. I would let him do whatever he needed too, it wasn’t like I could stop him anyways. 

I felt him throw my bag at my feet and heard him rummaging in the back, going through the bags.

“Here.” He barked shoving my cigarettes and lighter into my hands. I didn’t question it, I put it in my mouth and lit it. Pulling long and slow he snatched my lighter from my fingers and had put it in his jacket pocket before I had time to exhale. Rude.

He pushed a button and our windows went down whipping our hair in our faces. It didn’t seem to phase him but I had to reach up and take hold of my hair to keep it down. I began to relax with each inhale, enjoying every second.

We drove in silence after that, the only noise was his occasional grumbling. I don’t even think he knows he’s doing it. Sometimes I knew it was me he was growling at for fidgeting in one way or another, but other times I wasn’t doing anything and he would just start rumbling. 

It was a very tense drive to say the least. I was almost happy that he had drugged me the last time he was like this. He was so intense; all of the time.

We drove for another hour before we found a Wal-Mart. He pulled into a secluded area of the parking garage and got out of the car. He walked to the back and popped the trunk, sifting through the back for a minute before walking to my door and opening it. 

He was wearing different clothes now, instead of his jacket and tactical belt he had on a black shirt and dark grey hoodie. The hood was up and his hair was tucked away, every strand under a ball cap and beanie. My ball cap and beanie. Rude.

He looked almost normal it was unnerving, unfortunately he was still sporting the ever-present mask.

“Stay.” He ordered me before he slammed the door and walked off, not waiting for me to answer or more likely argue. I watched him walk towards the elevator, the doors opened and he stepped inside turning around to face me. 

He caught my gaze and tipped my hats to me just before the doors closed, his eyes smiling. He was making fun of me. Rude.

I definitely liked his talkative side better, at least he was nicer. Almost pleasant compared to his muter side. His mood swings were exhausting and because of it my neck hurt and the slice on my throat was bleeding again. Fudge-pumps.  

I searched the front of the car but couldn’t find anything to stop the bleeding, a band-aid, napkin. Nothing. Who doesn’t keep napkins in their glovebox? It’s barbaric. 

I bit my thumb debating what to do. Blarg it. I climbed out of the car and went to the back. I opened it and grabbed the first bag, it was full of weapons, mostly knives including mine, my belt on top. I left it knowing in the state he was in right now he would take it back regardless of whether I wanted to attack him or not. I moved it to the side.

The next bag was filled with clothes. Nope, next. This one had clothes as well, mostly black, nope. Grabbed his backpack I found the med-kit right as headlights came into view.

Asset

I hate places like this. They are always too bright and loud. The people always got too close to us. I never knew if someone would attack. It made me oversensitive and everything was on overdrive until we left. 

I had gotten everything we would need, and got in line. Why do they insist on hiring slow people? It was counterproductive. This is going to take a while. Good, maybe she would leave before I got back. I had to hold my smile back, remembering I was exposed without the mask.

@whitewolfbumble

[acsversace-news]

Warning: This recap of the “Manhunt” episode of The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story contains spoilers.

From the beginning we’ve known that Andrew Cunanan fancied himself a man of finer tastes. Even while on the run for a murder spree, he still took the time to purchase just the right Wayfarer knock-offs or order a surf ‘n’ turf meal from a wealthy john. Did Cunanan wear just any old bathing suit? Nope, it was magenta Speedo all the way. And when it came to rat-infested, crumbling junkie motels, you better believe Cunanan asked for an ocean view. Yes, even the lowest of human existences can leave room for glamour.

“Manhunt” continued last week’s premiere with even more backstory of where both Versace and Cunanan had been in their respective lives before the titular assassination. And like last week, it took what everyone knew about the case (from sensationalized tabloid coverage mostly) and filled in the gaps with new facts, genuine insight, and arresting beauty. Let’s talk about it!

We began with an unrecognizable, anonymous man in disguise.

Underneath this ingenious, identity-concealing ensemble was none other than famous fashion designer Gianni Versace. But this costumed ruse would be for neither heist nor romp. No, he was at a clinic receiving bad news about a blood test he’d recently taken. And while this episode was careful to keep things vague, this scene, added to a later scene in which he could barely walk unassisted, was meant to suggest that Versace’s life had once been threatened long before Andrew Cunanan ever pointed a gun at him. You can probably guess what the illness was. But as a reminder, the ’90s were an especially bad time for a specific group of people.

Versace’s diagnosis played heavily into this episode’s central concept. That he’d been able to fight off his illness using state-of-the-art medicines, he’d slapped the grim reaper across its tacky face, and he’d begun to embrace life as only a formerly dead man walking could. Which, as Donatella Versace noted, made his later murder all the more devastating.

But death comes for us all, even those who can afford to have their facial bullet wounds spackled over and their cremains laid to rest so fabulously.

Even when reduced to several ounces of ash, Versace still flew first class. Honestly touching.

We then cut over to Andrew Cunanan, who was currently speeding on the freeway scream-singing “Gloria.” Which, we’ve all done that, and in my case nearly every day. “Gloria” is one of the greatest songs of all time. As we quickly discovered, Cunanan was only just arriving in Miami, so this act of free-wheelin’ joy came after he’d murdered his first four victims. Yep, he was now murder-jazzed, and it was time to spread his brand of awful in a beach community!

Cunanan showed up at the dingiest motel with the most beautiful oceanfront view in Miami. It was clearly a faded stucco hell pit of junkies and, well, other serial killers I’m guessing. Between the presence of a junkie Max Greenfield and a duct-tape gimp mask, this was like if American Horror Story: Hotel had been crossed with Miami Vice. Into it.

Meanwhile the FBI had arrived in town around the same time, but this local Miami detective lady quickly realized they were terrible at their jobs and had not tried particularly hard to catch this gay spree-killer yet. They hadn’t even made any copies of his “Wanted” poster! And as we’d learn later, citizens were ready and willing to report a Cunanan sighting, which made it all the more frustrating that the FBI had been so slow to spread the word. (Thank God for America’s Most Wanted.)

As you can imagine, Andrew Cunanan made fast friends with junkie Max Greenfield, and after a heartfelt scene in which Greenfield’s character talked about his HIV diagnosis, the two schemed openly about how to make quick cash and/or buy some junk to smoke. An enterprising liar and conman, it was almost charming that Cunanan still resorted to turning tricks sometimes. I guess that was easier than, like, check fraud or whatever.

So, sex work for local lonely hearts was now on the menu! Congratulations, Miami fellas!

Except, whoops … there was the pesky fact that Andrew Cunanan was a total psychopath. Which meant that this john’s simple request to be dominated led him to finding himself suffocating under a face full of duct tape and terrorized within an inch of his life while Andrew Cunanan danced around the room in a pink Speedo.

Yeah this was one of the most disturbing scenes I’ve seen in a Ryan Murphy joint, but the terror was effective. The disturbing vibe continued even afterward, as the terrified john sat watching Cunanan finish a lobster meal, waited until Cunanan left, and then debated whether to call 911 and report the assault. Alas, the wedding ring he placed back on his finger suggested why the crime ultimately went unreported. Again: The ’90s really sucked.

But enough darkness, it was time to remember what made Versace famous! In this scene, Donatella urged Versace to change things up and compete with his more goth-inspired competitors Galliano and McQueen, but Versace made clear that he was in the business of joy and beauty and life, especially now that he had his health back. Donatalla couldn’t help but see his point.

And credit to this show for not only producing a convincing fashion show (with convincingly Versace-ish looks) but also even casting a runway model who resembled Shalom Harlow to play Shalom Harlow! Miss her. Come back, Shalom.

As though we needed more evidence that Andrew Cunanan was unhinged, we got this cute scene where he smoked tons of drugs, then went to the bathroom for some quiet time. In this case quiet time involved wrapping his head and face in duct tape and also admiring the intensely insane serial killer wall he’d created in the bathroom:

Yeah, I think we’d recalled Cunanan as being an out-of-control party boy or whatever, but this series has done a lot to prove he was insane in a scary and singular way. Just a bad-time-guy lookin’ for trouble.

We also got glimpses into the romantic life shared by Versace and his lover, Ricky Martin (as himself, jk). And though their lifestyle of hooking up with men together and going to the clubs was nothing they were ashamed of in their private life, we could sense that the straight world would never understand their situation. Versace himself doubted that his partner truly loved him enough to want to be married (which … gay marriage? What a futuristic concept in 1997!), yet they still were clearly everything to each other. It would be romantic if we didn’t know where this was all heading.

We then got another classic Cathy Moriarty appearance, in which we saw the incident when Cunanan sold a stolen coin to her at her pawn shop and she remembered it enough to contact the police after the shooting. And again, she’d even glanced at her collection of “Wanted” posters before making the sale, underscoring again that the authorities’ slow-to-act tendencies toward gay crime had almost directly led to Versace’s murder. But at least we can all continue to count on Cathy Moriarty when we need her!

I loved this brief scene when a drag impersonator of Donatella showed up at Versace’s manor and demanded to come in and hang out. He was polite enough about it, noting that one Donatella in his life was enough, but still. She DID look fun to hang out with. I probably would’ve let her up.

That night, Versace and his lover went out to the local dance club Twist, and Andrew Cunanan followed them there, presumably to shoot him right there in the club. But Versace ended up ducking out before the encounter happened but not before his lover informed him that even at night, even amid opportunities to be around other men … he still chose Versace and wanted to marry him. Again, except for the line of strangers behind them and the bad ’90s techno wafting in the air, this was an incredibly touching and romantic moment. These two.

Inside, a clearly dejected Cunanan was approached by a random hottie, and he responded by having a borderline meltdown in which he listed all the different fake occupations he’d ever pretended to be. Including, of course, serial killer. But while the random hottie had no reason to think Cunanan was being serious about any of them, it was a chilling notion that someone who had spent a lifetime lying about his accomplishments was now going to try to make a name for himself in a more tragic and gruesome way. Ugh, he was the worst.

“Manhunt” functioned best as a continuation of last week’s introduction to the story and setting. And like last week, it relied on visuals and physical performance more than written dialogue, and was just as spellbinding. Tense, funny, emotional, and troubling all at once, this is a fascinating world to explore and I can’t get enough. Obviously it’s a dark story and doesn’t promise to get any lighter by the end of it, but I can’t help myself. That this is even on the air (and executed so perfectly) is enough to give someone a new lease on life. How very Versace.