#half genie housewife

[kinkymankey]

Shantae: Half-Genie Housewife Part 2

It is just around afternoon, as the whirlwind deposits Shantae down on the pier. In front of her stood her lighthouse home, and even though it was well kept it had the feeling of being dingy. “What a state!” She exclaimed, almost in disbelief. “Looks we have some work to do babies,” she says as she pats her belly. “First, a change of clothes,” she declares as she walks inside.

On her first floor was her kitchen, made up of a stove top, an oven and a couple cabinets, joined with a small table with chairs for a impromptu dining room. Some pots and pans hung on the wall alongside a few shelves, and closer to the door was a dry sink with a few books and decorations on it. A rope hung in the middle of the room, leading to the second floor.

Shantae sighed, taking hold of the rope. “However did I manage?” She began climbing up the rope, and though it was quite an effort, she made it to her bedroom with general ease. “Goodness! I should invest in some stairs. Be safer for the babies anyways.”

She looks around her bedroom, which is quite simple. From where the rope hung, a hammock was set up in front of her on two posts, with some sheets hung on it. Above it was a shelf full of books, and to its side was a short nightstand. A bit aways from it was a large brown wardrobe, though some long clean and dried clothes still hung from lines above the room. A gas lamp hung from the ceiling, and behind her was a open window, which was where the lighthouse used to shine its light from.

“Goodness, what a mess,” she exclaimed to herself, beginning her search for some clothes. Opening her wardrobe, she began sifting through it broadly. “No dresses? What have I been doing? Come on, I must have one...ah, this will do.” She pulled out a yellow flowy dress, with some lighter streak of yellow patterning it. She quickly took off her current outfit, hanging it back up in her wardrobe neatly, and pulled her sole dress she owned; she then undid her ponytail, taking a bandana instead to hold the hair out from her face.

“Hmm, none of these look very comfy,” she mused as she looked through her shoes, neatening them up as she went. “Hmph. Ah well, I’ll just go barefoot for now. Besides, it’s time to tidy up this room a bit more thoroughly.”

She slid down her rope and came back up with a bucket of water and a cloth, going down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor. It was a bit of a struggle, her belly getting quite in the way, but she eventually got the floor to shine.

“Perfect,” she smiled proudly, wiping her brow. Her gaze turned to the window. “I think you could use a little once-over.”

She waddled over and scrubbed up the window, providing a clearer view of the town. “There we go! Much brighter, too.” She pauses to look at her progress, cradling her belly. Her eyes soon drift to her hanging clothes and unmade hammock. She shook her head but smiled. “More work for me.”

She started with her hammock, trying her best to get the sheets as even as she can across it. “I should probably get a bed that isn’t a hammock, especially so close to my due,” she talks to herself as she works. “It’s probably a wreck on my back, anyways.” Finishing that, she moved onto her clothes, pulling them down from the lines.  She hung up her day clothes and folded up her pajamas.

“There. Much less cluttered,” she smiled, looking around at her work. Suddenly, a realization hits, and she palms her forehead. “I don’t even have a crib yet!” She exclaimed. “I need quite a bit actually. Should probably get a list together.”

Finding some paper and a pencil, she sits by her window and begins to write. “Let’s see...shoes, dresses, crib,” she mumbles to herself, underlining ‘crib’ in particular. “A bed for myself, probably some new sheets with it, some more baby supplies…”

She looked over her list, and nodded. “That should be it. Looks like I am off to the shops today.” She tucked her list away and carefully began down the rope. Partway down, she catches the stove and oven of her kitchen again. “I guess they could use a cleaning, too,” she assumed, shimmying back up to grab her bucket and rag before finally returning to the ground floor. She also did up the floor, chairs and table as well, since she was down there.

Thinking of which, Shantae checked the cuberts, finding them near bare save for some tea packets, a piece or two of fruit, and a few pieces left of a full loaf of bread. “Oh my! Nothing to eat? No ingredient?” She huffed, placing her hands on her hips. “How silly. Honestly, I can’t believe how silly I was.”

She pulls out her lists and quickly adds all sorts of fruits, vegetables, ingredients and sweets to it. She also added a ‘perhaps’ with a note for a new table and chairs; the one’s she had were fine, but it never hurts to think ahead. Speaking of which, she thought as she looked around her, I need to make things a little safer for the little ones. She stroked her belly, and jotted down ‘baby proofing’ to her list.

As she does that, a knock comes to her door. “Coming!” She chimes sweetly, tucking her list away and waddling to the door.

“Hey, Shan--!” Sky began as the door opened, but seemed to pause and even do a double take. “Shantae?”

“Sky!” Shantae smiled, pulling her friend into a hug. “It’s so good to see you! Come in, come in!”

A bit of a shocked look stuck to the bird keeper’s face, seemingly freezing it as she followed Shantae in. She slowly loosened up as it melted into a look of confusion and hesitance. “Hey, Shantae. Why, uh, why exactly are you wearing a dress like that?”

“Because it’s comfy, silly,” she giggles, heating up the stove and putting a water filled kettle on. “Terribly sorry, I haven’t had a chance to get any food or goodies today, so you’ll have to take your tea on its own.” She sighed.

“It’s cool, I’m not hungry,” she nods slowly and hesitantly. Tea? Why the heck is she serving me tea? “Hey, uh, Shantae. You when I joked, about you going barefoot and pregnant, I, uh, didn’t really think you would.” She laughed a bit awkwardly.

“Why wouldn’t I?” She asked genuinely, getting down the teacups and packets. “It makes more sense than going off gallivanting and adventuring all risky like, especially in my condition.” She pulled out a chair for Sky.

Sky blinked, clearly dumbfounded. “D-Didn’t you just head out this morning on an adventure?” She asked as she eased herself into the seat.

“I did, but I came back after I realised what a silly idea that was,” she smiles. “Not alone, though. I had some help from a lovely man out there who set my head straight.”

“Hm. I think you mentioned on your way out that you were heading out to fight that new baron?”

“Yes! And he was ever so polite!” She nodded happily. “He wouldn’t even think of hurting a pregnant lady, and even offered to walk me home. He was very sweet, not like those other barons. He was a good one.”

“Sure,” Sky nodded. Maybe she’s right? Though it doesn’t explain...this. “So, why exactly are you like this now?”

“Since I realized I should be at home, getting ready for these two angels,” she explains, rubbing her belly and looking down at it warmly. “There is so much still to be done before they arrive, Sky.”

“I assume so. And when did this realization strike? Must not have been last night, since you were showing off that bump at the Dance Parlor,” she chuckled in memory.

“Oh, I know,” she hand waved, her face blushing in embarrassment. “It was so showy of me. You won’t find me there again, count on that.”

“What? But you love being there. It’s basically your second home.”

She shook her head, and smiled. “Not anymore. That was old Shantae. New Shantae is focused on making a nice home for her babies.” She beamed with a whole smile.

“Sure,” Sky nodded slowly. Okay, something’s up. “Again, when exactly did you decide you needed to do this?”

“This morning, when I started chatting to the baron.” The kettle was now steaming. Shantae took it off the heat and poured it into two awaiting tea bag laned cups. She carried them over to the table, setting one in front of Sky and one in front of where she now sat.

“Thanks,” she nodded, taking the cup. “So, new baron. A nice guy?”

“So lovely!” She reminisced. “Ever so kind and polite.” She took a small sip of her tea. “Oh, I only had blueberry tea left, by the way. I hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine,” she nodded. “Shantae, if I can be real here, I think that baron did something to you. You weren’t even close to this when you were running by this morning.”

“Oh, don’t be so suspicious,” she chuckled pleasantly.

“Seriously, Shantae, I’m concerned. Something clearly happened. What went down out there.”

“Let me recall,” she set down her cup and tapped her temple. “Hmmm...I went in...he didn’t want to fight me…we had a pleasant talk...and then he walked me home.”

“That’s it?” She asked, slightly presingly. “Hold on, you still wanted to fight him when you got there, right?”

“I think I did,” she responded, stroking her belly softly, “but I soon realized that I shouldn’t be out fighting.”

Sky takes a slow sip of her tea. “What about this morning?”

“What about it?” She asked, giving her friend a funny look.

“Humor me, tell me what you did before you went off to find the baron.”

“Lets see...I woke up, put on that terribly skimpy outfit I always wore, and headed out.”

Sky made a weird noise, somewhere between choking and spitting out her tea. “Wait, did you just call your outfit skimpy? The one you wear everyday?”

“You mean the belly dancer clothes? That thing?” She let out a solid laugh. “It was so showy! I don’t know how I ever enjoyed showing off that much skin all the time, especially with how big my tummy is now! I mean, I’m sure you and the others were just waiting for me to put some clothes on, right?”

Sky sat back in her chair, looking at her cheery friend with a dumbfounded expression. “Okay, something is definitely wrong here. That baron guy did...something!”

“You’re being overly suspicious again, Sky,” Shantae laughed slightly, setting a hand on her shoulder. “I just realized what’s really important to me right now.”

Sky looked distraughtly down at her tea. “This doesn’t feel real...doesn’t feel like you…”

“Oh, Sky,” Shantae gave a comforting smile, pulling her friend into a side hug. “I assure you, it is still me. Same old Shantae, just now with her priorities in line. Please, don’t worry about me, for my sake at the very least.”

She was quiet for a minute, before bringing her teacup back to her lips. “Okay,” she nodded after a long sip, and smiled. “It’s still you here. Still my friend.”

“Exactly!” She smiled, squeezing her shoulder.

“I still think I need some time to process this,” she admitted.

“Of course,” she nodded. “I made a big change, I don’t expect you to immediately acclimate to it. I’m glad you were concerned about me, even if there’s nothing to be concerned over.”

“Still…”

“Enough of that, now.” Shantae playfully put her finger to Sky’s lips. “No worries from you, okay?”

Sky could not help but crack a small smile. “Okay,”she responded partially muffled. “Good,” Shantae grinned, pulling her finger away. “Would you like some more tea?”

“No, actually, I, uh, think I need to go,” she replied, downing the last of her tea. 

“I understand. You need your space.”

“Hate to leave so soon, but I’m sure you have stuff to prepare for the babies.”

“Yeah, actually,” she chuckled a bit. “Was about to head out shopping just when you popped in.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you any longer.” She got up and headed for the door. “See you later?” She asked, pushing the door slightly open.

“Of course. See you later, Sky.” She gave a small wave as she went to pick up the teacups.

The smile on Sky’s face dropped the moment she closed the door, turning to one of urgency as she dashed off to her hatchery. “Wrech!” She called, waking the purple bird from its stoop. “We need to go! We have people to pick up!”

Back at Shantae’s, the half genie set the teacups gently on the left side of the sink with some of the other dirty dishes. She patted her belly happily. “I’m so glad she’s coming around. Hopefully the others understand just as easily. Now, though, shopping!” She walked over to her door and headed out.

[friendlyheartless]

Big Belly the Large Body and Flame Fatso were enjoying each other’s company as Genie began to make dinner for everyone in the palace as Aladdin, Jasmine, the Sultan, Abu and Iago.

“Oh, I declare it’s such a delight to cook for royalty! And, ohhh, Are you going to be pleased! Goat au gratin, hummus on the half shell, and deep fried camel fritters like MOMMA used to make!” Genie said dressed in pink as a housewife with big white hair, speaking in a southern accent.

Abu tries to open one of the dishes, but Genie intervenes. “We’re all fur and impatience, aren’t we now? Oh. Now, if two certain round Rebels would only show up.” He said. “Coming.” Big Belly said as he and Flame come in.

Open RP for @hoshi-neko-hikari , @captain-laughingjill , @friendlyheartless and whoever else wants to partake in this.

A new Parasite Cage has been born and after a few days of developing, he's beginning to bloom. This is Pierri, a Parasite Cage who will grow up to be a fine carpenter and possibly, a good fatger figure. Will you be the first face he sees once the petals have opened up?

[bosies]

eugenia “genie” mallory [ 29, emma stone, journalist ] 

estranged daughter of a fucked up former miss alabama. left town at seventeen for atlanta and swore never to come back, but lo and behold, sometimes life doesn’t adhere to plans. her cherished older sister died when she younger and it messed the entire family up, especially because genie always suspected that her mother could have done more to save her. in town on an “assignment” investigating something or other, but operating under the pretext of making amends with her mother. she’s jaded and guarded and supremely fucked up. sorry if she doesn’t smile back. 

needs: her mother and younger half-sister (can u tell this is sharp objects inspired lmao) (request to come!!!), idk she’s open for anything you want her for 

jessamine sanger [ 20, face tbd, waitress / actress ]

creepy little louise belcher meets india stoker. was that girl in high school everyone always assuming was summoning satan on the weekends. she’s hotheaded and crafty and bad bad news. don’t let the sweet face and diminutive stature fool you. lives with her mother in a dilapidated mansion her great-granddaaddy left behind. keeps a garden of poison plants and don’t you dare tempt her into using it. 

needs: creepy pals??? idk 

darla beaufort [ 26, face tbd, housewife ] 

she’s got a smile that could convince you you’ve known her your whole life, but you don’t know the first thing about her. she’s not from around here but she can fake it well enough. grew up in the ozarks in a creepy, isolated cult before managing to escape 3/4 years ago (and got a bounty put on her head because of it lmao.) showed up on the arm of gideon beaufort a few months later and has been an east erie housewife (with her very own east erie extramarital affair and everything!) ever since. keeps a gun in that pretty designer purse of hers. 

needs: housewife friends who try and fail to get close to her, perhaps a Foreboding Figure From Her Past? 

[bestialsadist]

Tha One Who Cried Wolf - Pt. 1-2

Part 1:

Yanked out mah sleep, I shoot mah head up an’ turn ‘round tryin’ ta’ see whea I’m at. Get mah bearin’s. I’on’t ‘memba passin’ out on tha couch last night. Mah wif’ ain’t nex’ ta’ me so I figga she went ta’ bed an’ ain’t e’vn try’ta’ wake me up. Dis’ere rude ass awakenin’s from mah cell rattlin’ off tha table like uh demon dun hopped inside tha shi’ an’ I a’most break tha damn thang tryna grab it ta’ stop it. Grumblin’ wit’ squinty eyes an’ blurred vision, I pump in mah password an’ see “C. DNA” pop up on mah screen.

“Ugh…Fuck.” Mah voice groggy an’ filled wit’ exhaushun.

TEXT: We need 2 talk.

TEXT: Fuck off. It’s 2am.

TEXT: I’m not joking, babe. We need 2 talk. Now.

TEXT: Fuck. OFF.

“Babe?”

Is dis fuckin’ slut crazy?

Cassie Malroux’s uh lil’ blonde piece uh ass I was playin’ wit’ on tha side uh few months back bu’ I tossed ha out wit’ tha trash. Ain’t sho’ why she come callin’ me na. We ain’t end on gud terms. Chea gottuh lil’ too big fa’ ha own fuckin’ britches. Na I a’mit, she was scratchin’ uh lil’ itch fa’ me. Catchin’ mah tendency ta’ roam e’vry na an’ den. She was takin’ mah mind off shi’ I cain’t seem ta’ shake. Somthin’ I needed. Bu’ chea mo’ tro’ble den she worth.

Firs’, it was lil’ shit. Ha callin’ me when she kno’ I’m wit’ mah fam’ly. Ha makin’ lil’ co’ments afta we fuck ‘bout sendin’ pictuas ta’ mah wif’ an’ postin’ shi’ on ha Snap. Ha talkin’ shi’ ‘bout me not claimin’ ha. Ha talkin’ ‘bout luh like I was tha o’ly one listenin’ whil’ we had tha whol’ yah jus’ uh fuck talk. Den chea’d laugh it all off an’ act lik’ she jus’ playin’ ‘round. I tol’ ha on mo’ den one occashun, don’t fuck wit’ ma fam’ly.

Chea ain’t get tha message, an’ she rea’ly lost ha gahdamn mind.

Messin’ ‘round wit’ ha fa’ too long gave ha tha wrong idea ‘bout wha’ dis’ere was. Uh fuck hea an’ nea. Uh ‘scape. Uh distracshun from alla twisted shi’ swirlin’ ‘round mah head I aint tryna deal wit’. Bu’ I came ta’ mah senses uh coupla months ago an’ ended tha shi’ when tha stupid slut tried ta’ catch me at tha grocery sto’ wit’ mah fuckin’ daughta. I cain’t e’vn say tried rea’ly ‘cos she -did- catch mah ass. Cornah’d me by tha fuckin’ meats an’ grabbed -mine.-

I a’most killed tha white trash bitch right thea an’ den.

Nika was down tha c’real an’ snack aisle wit’ tha basket so she ain’t see nothin’, bu’ if she had, dis bitch wuldn’t be seein’ shi’ else fa’ tha rest uf ha life. In one swift move, I grabbed ha throat an’ shoved ha through tha hangin’ plastic flaps dat lead ta’ tha back uf tha sto’ whea da sto’ stock at. I ain’t seen nobody ‘round when I slammed ha stupid ass ‘gainst tha crates uf milk, so I tightened mah grip on ha throat an’ growled through gritted teeth.

“Tha fuck yah doin’ hea?!”

Scratchin’, swingin’, an’ fightin’ fa’ ha life, I land uh vicious smack ‘cross ha face ta’ make ha focus an’ ansa me. Make ha learn ha le’son. Chea dun crossed uh line. One dat ain’t so e’sy ta’ come back from when it come ta’ me. Beggin’ fa’ air wit’ tears streamin’ down ha face, I’on’t let ha go ‘til I seen tha blood rushin’ from ha skin, makin’ ha pastey like death was knockin’ on ha do’. Chea ain’t no match fa’ me, bu’ she uh fighta an’ I getta lil’ thrill outta ha thankin’ ha scratchin’ was ‘bout ta’ sway me from makin’ mah fuckin’ point. Wit’ blood vessels blown an’ skin turnin’ uh ligh’ shade uh blue like ha eyes, I shove ha ta’ tha ground an’ watched ha choke, tryin’ ta’ grasp fa’ air.

Nose flared, brows knitted, an’ mah baritone still inna uh growl, “I ain’t ‘bout’ta fuckin’ repeat mah’self, bitch.”

Coughin’ an’ carryin’ on, she try’ta’ ansa me, “I…I… jus’…wan…wanted to… see you…’Tiste…”

I’on’t need ta’ hea no’mo. Ha thankin’ she culd come fin’ me an’ corna me ‘cos “she wanna see me” was grounds ta’ feed tha bitch ta’ tha gatas. Bu’, I’on’t. Tha tramp o’viously gotta deathwish an’ I ain’t ha fuckin’ Genie. I step closa. Chea jumped, pushin’ up ‘gainst tha crates uf milk. She’on’t care if she culdn’t get no furtha a’way, she jus’ tryin’ta’ get as far ‘way from me as she can right na. Terror in ha eyes ‘xactly wha’ I wanted ta’ see when I kneeled down in front uf ha. Takin’ uh deep breath, I inhale ha fear like mah opioids tha lil’ white housewif’s pop befo’ dey mornin’ coffee. Ta’ uh predata, tha scent’s like mama’s sweet potata pie. Leanin’ closa an’ starin’ at ha, I wan’ed ha ta’ see tha whites uf mah eyes. Feel tha heat uf mah anag. Hear tha roar in mah voice dat all make it clea, ‘dis ha last straw.

“Yah hea me an’ hea me well, bitch. Yah no longa ‘xist ta’ me. Don’t call me. Don’t try’ta’ see me. Don’t come mah fuckin’ way. If yah do, I swea I’ll be tha last face yah eva see.”

Three o’ fo’ months lata an’ dis’ slut’s textin’ me at 2AM. O’viously she’on’t thank fat meat’s greasy.

TEXT: I’m pregnant. Urs. Come now or my next txt is 2 ur wife.

Mah mind go blank as I read an’ reread an’ reread dis’ere text. “I’m pregnant.” Fa’ uh split s’cond I swalla mah tongue. Any man wuld, e’vn if he kno’ it ain’t no way he knocked ha up. I’on’t know what pissed me off mo’, ha claimin’ she gotta baby o’ ha threatenin’ ta’ text mah wif’.

I thank bof uh gud re’son ta’ fuck ha slut ass up. I guess I ain’t reply quick enuf ‘cos she text a‘gin.

TEXT: Think I’m playing?

I sit up an’ pull on mah black boots befo’ I text ha back.

TEXT: omw TEXT: Can’t wait 2 cu…

Part 2:

I’m fumin’. Re’dy ta’ tear ha head from ha shuldas an’ eat ha mah’self.

Tryin’ not ta’ wake no’body in tha house, I grab mah keys, cell, jacket, an’ uh untra’ceable glock befo’ I hop in mah dark truck ta’ head ova thea. Not mah Harley, bu’ mah -otha- truck. Windo’s down, tha breeze from mah speedin’ keepin’ tha heat risin’ unda mah skin cool bu’ it ain’t keepin’ me calm. Not dat I thought it wuld. Grindin’ mah teeth, I slam uh fist ‘gainst tha steerin’ wheel.

“Crazy fuckin’ bitch!”

Darkened eyes dartin’ from mah rearview ta’ the road ahead, I cain’t get ta’ ha house fast enuf. I knew chea was uh lil’ off tha rails an’ part uf dat’s wha’ turned me on ‘bout ha. Ha feistiness. Uh slick mouf. Bu’ I ain’t ‘xpect ha ta’ play games wit’ mah fam’ly. Threaten ta’ fuck wit’ mah wif’. I ain’t ‘xpect ha ta’ be -dat- fuckin’ off ha shi’.

“Yah shulda fuckin’ killed tha bitch when she pulled da shi’ wit’ Nika. Yah shulda bit ha fuckin’ head off.”

Mah wolf’s howlin’ deep inside, tellin’ me how much uf uh fuckin’ idjit I am fa’ not goin’ wit’ instincts. I kno’ tha walkin’ tramp stamp ain’t got mah baby in’ha belly. Bu’ chea threatenin’ ta’ call mah wif’ ain’t some shit I can jus’ ignore. Ain’t some shi’ I -wuld- ignore. Mah jaw clenches. “Can’t wait 2 c u.” Ha smug ass grin flashin’ in mah head like uh bull’s eye. She’on’t kno’ mah wif’d kill ha ass befo’ I e’vn got ahol’ uf ha. Shi’, she’d kill me too. It wuldn’t end how she thank. Bu’ dat ain’t tha point. Anybody who kno’ me, hate me o’ not. Yah’on’t fuck wit’ Z. Yah breaths be numba’d afta dat.

Mah eyes flashin’ gold in tha rearview, I take uh deep breath ta’ calm down an’ park uh lil’ ways from ha house. She ain’t got uh’lot uf neighbors, bu’ I ain’t rea’ly wanna be seen ‘round hea ta’night. Wit’ uh black hoody jacket, T-shirt, jeans, an’ boots, no’body’d kno’ who I am o’ see any identifyin’ markas uf me. ‘Cept mah height an’ build bu’ dat ain’t enuf fa’ an arrest, less dey can place me hea. Bu’ I slotch uh lil’ whil’ I walk anyway , jus’ ta’ make mah size jus’ uh lil’ unclea. Befo’ I e’vn get ta’ ha side do’, chea open tha do’ like she been waitin’ by tha windo ‘till she heard me comin’. Wearin’ nuthin’ bu’ uh lil’ black bra an’ panties an’ uh big, blue-eyed smile, she damn’nea hops at me, hopin’ I’ma catch ha stupid ass.

“Babe, I’m so happy you came!”

I step aside starin’ at ha like she uh like she lost ha mind, watchin’ ha stumble tryin’ta’ catch ha footin’. Not an ouce uf ha excitement gets givin’ back ta’ ha. Me bein’ pissed off clea in mah tone, “Is yah fuckin’ nuts?! Get yah ass in tha gahdamn house! I ain’t come alla ‘way ova hea ta’ fuck wit’yah.”

Dis’ shi’ cain’t be real. She cain’t hav’ dis many fuckin’ screws loose?

“But, I missed you!”

Shi’, chea rea’ly got dis’ many screws loose.

Givin’ ha tha look uf death, I point fa’ward an’ push ha back ta’ ha damn do’.

“I’on’t gih uh fuck if yah missed parole, Cassie. Get in tha gahdamn house an’ put’cha fuckin’ clothes on, na!”

Draggin’ ha feet an’ smackin’ ha lips, she do as I say an’ I close an’ lock tha do’s behin’ us. Pullin’ off mah hoody an’ dark beanie, I watch ha cop uh attitude, stumpin’ an’ smackin’ ha lips.

“C’mon, ‘Tiste. Don’t be like that. I missed you. Didn’t you miss me?”

Standin’ a’most lost fa’ words.

“I’m hea ‘bout dis’ere baby shit! Dat’s tha o’ly re’son I’m hea, Cassie. Stop playin’ games.”

I ain’t rea’ly care ‘bout ha ansa. I kno’ she ain’t carryin’ mah cub. One, I’on’t raw-dawg no’body bu’ mah wif’. Two, I wulda smelled ha carryin’ tha s’cond she opened tha fuckin’ do’ an’ hopped mah way. She ain’t no’mo pregnant den tha fuckin’ man on tha moon an’ I wanna see how far she gon’ take dis’ere BS.

“You must be in a bad mood. Wifey still not paying you no mind?”

It take e’vrythang in me na ta’ knock ha lights out, righ’chea. Numba One rule she keep breakin’ like it’s ha job, keep mah wif’ out ha mouf. Sneerin’ ha way, barin’ teeth an’ narrowin’ mah eyes, she get tha pr’mise written on mah face an’ shut ha mouf, at least fa’ uh s’cond, an’ ta’ ha bedroom.

E’vn tho I ain’t been hea in months, ha lil’ house ‘xactly tha same. Keys hangin’ by tha do’ an’ cell on tha glass coffee table. Uh half em’ty bottle uf ha liquid crack, Peach Cisco—tha drank uf tha winos—sittin’ on tha table too. TV stuck on one uf dem “Real HipHop Hos uf Still Lookin’ fa uh Suga Daddy” sho’s o’ wha’eva dey called. Tha scent uf Orange chicken an’ scrimp fried rice lingerin’ in tha air lika house spray. Tha same ‘ol take-out she a’ways orda. Dis’ lil’ shotgun house ain’t changed an’ neitha has she.

I folla ha inta’ ha bedroom an’ watch ha grab some sweat shorts an’ uh wif’beata ta’ pull on. Leanin’ ‘gainst ha bedroom do’way, I look ha up an’ down, wonderin’ wha’ tha fuck I was thankin’ all dat time fuckin’ ‘round wit’ ha crazy ass. Chea gotta mouf lika Hoova an’ uh throat deep as tha Gulf. -Dat’s wha’.- I ain’t so young, bu’ I’m sho’ dumb an’ fulla “I dun fucked alla way up” cum. Hissin’ ‘cos dis’ fuck’up migh’ cost me, I ball mah fist in mah pockets damn nea bark at ha slo’ ass, “Yah kin talk whil’ yah git dressed, Cassie. I kno’ how well yah mouf work whil’ yah doin’ otha thangs. Get ta’ fuckin’ talkin’.”

She smack ha lips a’gin whil’ she pull out some shorts an’ uh T-shirt. Don’t slap ha.

Cassie turn mah way, “Tiste, why you being like this? Don’t’cha miss me?”

I’on’t gih ha uh s’cond ta’ wonda. “No. Ansa mah fuckin’ queshun.”

Ha blue eyes glaze an’ ha bottom lip sink in ha mouf. I can tell dat hurt ha. I also’on’t gih uh shi’.

“I took a test…A few.” Ha voice low wit’ lil’ hints uh crackin’ as she finish. “It was positive. And before you ask, no I ain’t been with nobody since you. It’s yours.”

I a’most choke on mah own spit from dat bold ass lie. “Right… Whea it’s at? I wanna see it.”

She shake ha head, lookin’ up at me. “You mean the test? I don’t have it. I threw it out.”

I tilt mah head. “Bitch, go find it.”

She looks worried an’ stunned all at tha same time. I ain’t gon’ stop callin’ ha bluff ‘till she tell tha truth.

“I can’t. Trash came a’ready.”

She firin’ tha excuses like she uh CEO an’ we downsizin’. I push mah’self off tha do’way. “Trash came a’ready?”

She nods quick, “Yeah, trust me. I’d show you if I could, baby. Believe me. We’re gonna have a beautiful, baby boy. At least I hope it’s a boy, so I can name him after you and everything.”

Dis’ story catches me off guard an’ I blank-stare at chea. Tha look in ha eyes is serious. “Are yah fuckin’ high? Yah been samplin’ mah shi’ o’ somthin’ ‘cos yah sound crazy ass hell, Cassie? Name ‘im afta me?” I cain’t hol’ in tha laugh dat barrels from mah chest. “Bitch, I wuldn’t let yah hav’ mah babies. Yah fa’got I gotta wif’ an’ yah ain’t it. O’an’ I gotta mini me a’ready, too late fa’ too. An’on’t fuckin’ call me baby, babe, o’ any uf tha otha shi’. Yah kno’ mah name. Use it.” Still laughin’ loud, I shake mah head makin’ mah way ta’ ha bathroom.

“Dis bitch dun lost ha evalivin’ mind if she thank I’d let ha hav’ mah baby. HA! Stone loco.” Lookin’ in ha lady storage cab’net, whea she keep all uh female stuff, I push shi’ ‘round whil’ I look fa’ wha’ I kno’ is thea.

“I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean? I’on’t believe in abortion, Tiste. I’m Catholic. And you can’t make me, you fucking monster!”

I see chea use mah name an’ ain’t speak ‘bout mah fam’ly. Bu’ I hea ha comin’ closa an’ I laugh harda. “HAHA!” Lookin’ up from mah squatted position as I dig in ha bottom cab’net. “Yah thank tha clinic tha o’ly way I’d get rid uf dat lil’ fucka? I ain’t ‘bove throwin’ yah ass down uh flight uh stairs an’ leavin’ yah ta’ bleed ta’ death.” I gih uh sarcastic smile, bu’ I mean e’vry gahdamn word.

She smack ha lips, lookin’ down at me, “Why would you say something like that? You know, sometimes you really scare me. Like you’d really hurt me. And what are you looking for?”

I snicka at “sometimes,” like she fa’got ‘bout me a’most stranglin’ ha ta’ death. Ignorin’ ha BS, uh grin cross mah face when I fina’ly find wha’ I’m lookin’ fa’. Ha spare pregnancy test.

“Hea. Pee on tha shi’. Prove it.” Shell-shocked, she stand thea starin’ like she jus’ seen uh ghost. “Wha’s wrong, chea? Fa’got yah had uh stash? O’ didn’t kno’ I knew ‘bout it?”

Starin’ deadpan at ha, I wait ta’ see wha’ ‘xcuse she got fa’ dis one. Don’t need ta’ pee? Wata in tha kitchen, mothafucka.

“Why’re you doing this?!” Tha crocodile tears wet ha face an’ I’on’t flinch. Ha feelin’s mean nuthin’ ta’ me. “Tiste…stop!”

“‘Cos I wan’yah ta’ tell tha fuckin’ truth, Cassie. Yah ass ain’t no’mo pregnant den I am.”

Standin’ up an’ cockin’ mah head ta’ tha side ta’ wait fa’ wha’eva come out ha mouf nex’. Mah humor’s replaced by irritashun. ‘Fess tha fuck up. Dat’s all she gotta do.

Befo’ I kno’ it, Cassie’s throwin’ uh tempa-tantrum. Throwin’ tha test on tha flo’ an’ stompin’ outchea ta’ ha room whil’ she still cryin’ an’ carryin’ on.

“Fine! I lied! I ain’t taking that shit because I’m not fuckin’ pregnant! I just wanted you to come over and see me! I fucking missed you! I’m sorry, Tiste! I didn’t mean to lie! Or bring your family into it! I just missed you so damn much! Can’t you understand that?! I love you!”

Crossin’ mah arms ova mah chest an’ listenin’ ta’ ha whinin’, I’m mo’ an’ mo’ atta loss uf wha’ tha fuck I saw in ha.

“Hm. Am I ‘posed ta’ feel sorry fa’ yah? Yah thank I’ma drop ta’ mah an’ realize I’m ‘posed ta’ be wit’ yah o’ somthin’? Lemme get dis’ straight.” I count off on mah fangas, starin’ at ha comin’ back mah way. Mah voice thickenin’ wit’ each offence. “Yah lied… Tried ta’ trap me. -An’- yah threatin’ ta’ call mah wif’ wit’ it all. Wha’ tha fuck yah thank gon’ happen, chea? Hm? I’ma profess mah luh fa’ yah?! Yah gon’ crazy.”

She steps up ta’ me, face red an’ wet. Eyes bloodshot. Make-up smeared. Ha nex’ mov’on’t surprise me. She coos anotha apology, ha lil’ girl voice meant ta’ make me gih ha wha’ she want. Rubbin’ mah biceps an’ tryin’ ta’ get me ta’ uncross mah arms, I narrow mah eyes an’ mov’ out ha grasp. Why she thank dis’ shi’ ‘bout ta’ work afta I dun tol’ ha not ta’ contact me is un-fuckin’-real.

Ha tears start rollin’ a’gin. “Wha’ I gotta do, Tiste?! Huh?! Wha’ I gotta do?! I said I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Believe me, I’m sorry! I’ll never do it again! I don’t even have your wife’s number! I swear. I’m sorry!”

Smackin’ mah lips an’ rollin’ mah eyes when she drop ta’ ha knees in front uf me. Hands roamin’ tha front uf mah pants, lookin’ fa’ any sign dat she winnin’ me ova. I grip ha hands an’ push ‘em off me.

“Yah sorry? Hm. Yah kno’ wha’ I get it. Yah lon’ly. Yah missed me. Wa’n’t thankin’ ‘bout wha’ yah was doin’.” She nods, wipin’ ha tears ‘way . “So, if yah really sorry, Cas, go write me uh lil’ ‘I’m sorry’ note. I’ll fa’give yah if yah do. I pr’mise.”

Blinkin’ lika idjit, she stare up at me wit’ doe eyes. “Really? An ‘I’m sorry’ note? That’s all you want?”

I nod, playin’ tha role I kno’ she’ll fall fa’ ‘cos she one uf dem dumb broads dat thank e’vrythnag yah say mean somthin’ otha den wha’ yah actua’ly sayin’ ta’ ha.

“Dat’s all I wan’, chea. I’m jus’ uh lil’ pissed yah wuld lie ta’ me. Bu’ if yah gih me uh lil’ ‘I’m sorry’ note, I’ll believe yah mean it.” I rub ha puffy cheek wit’ tha back uf mah hand. “It’ll be lika lil’ keepsake. Like yah givin’ me uh piece uf yah heart ‘cos yah rea’ly ain’t mean ta’ do me like dat. Right chea?”

I gih ha mah puppy eyes ta’ seal tha deal.

She chews ha lip bu’ buys it hook, line, an’ sinka. “You know I can’t resist that face.” Pullin’ ha’self ta’ ha feet, she go ova ta’ ha drawer by ha bed an’ pull out ha notepad an’ pen. “What you want it to say?”

“Jus’ say yah sorry, chea. An’ don’t put mah name ‘cos I’ma keep it in mah wallet bu’ if somebody see it, we’on’t wanna get caught up, right?”

She offa uh puffy lipped smile an’ nod as she start writin’. I head back in ha bathroom whil’ she doin’ dat. Tha rage on tha way hea wa’n’t useless. I a’ready had uh plan fa’ ha. Usin’ ha towel, I turn on ha hot wata an’ run ha uh bubble bath wit’ tha bottle uh vanilla on tha corna uh ha tub. Comin’ back inta’ ha bedroom, she gotta big ass smile on ha face an’ I kno’ it’s ‘cos she hea’s tha wata runnin’. Uh bath mean she ‘bout ta’ get fucked ‘cos I neva hav’ ha wit’out makin’ ha take uh bath firs’.

She sat ha notepad on tha bedside dressa drawer an’ start pullin’ off ha wifbeata. I graze mah hand ‘long ha bare stomach ta’ getta look at ha note an’ keep ha distra’ted. “I’m so, so sorry. Please, forgive me. - C ☹”

Shor’ an’ sweet.

“Perfect, chea.” I gih ha uh playful smack on tha ass. “Go’on, go git in tha tub fa’ me.”

She squeaks an’ wipes ha eyes wit’ uh big smile still on ha face, “You coming with me for once?”

“I’ma come in thea inna s’cond. Lemme get uh bea firs’.”

She nods, buyin’ e’vrythang I’m sellin’.

“Ok! Hurry, the water’s perfect! You know just what I like, ‘Tiste…”

Cassie’s none tha wisa. One thang ‘bout me, I’on’t break mah pr’mise. -Eva.- Headin’ back in tha front room, I pull out mah latex gloves an’ pull ‘em on. Nex’ I pull out mah 45 an’ attach uh silenca befo’ headin’ ta’ ha kitchen ta’ grab ha sharpest knife wit’ mah gloved hands. Slidin’ tha gun in mah denim pocket an’ slipin’ ha knife in mah leatha sheath attached ta’ mah belt, so it’s hidden behin’ mah 7in Bowie knife, I grab ha cell an’ slip it in mah otha pocket fo’ I head back in thea.

I catch ha in thea, eyes closed, an’ enjoyin’ ta’ bath. “Whea yah laptop, chea?”

She open ha eyes, confused. “I don’t have one. Remember, I asked you to get me one?” “Oh, dat’s right. I fa’got. No otha tech stuff? iPad o’ somthin’? Christmas is ‘round tha corna.”

Grinnin’ wide, she shake ha head lika lil’ kid. “Nope. You saying you getting me one of those?”

Mah questions jus’ ta’ see if she got any otha shi’ layin’ ‘round dat migh’ hav’ some ev’dence uh me bein’ in ha life ‘cos I’d take dat too.

“If yah be gud fa’ me. Yah gon’ be gud fa’ me?” Noddin’ an’ lettin’ ha hands slide up an’ down ha body, smearin’ tha bubbles ‘long ha skin.

“I can be good for you. If that’s what you want.” Ha voice get mo’ an’ mo’ seductive as she talk, hands fondlin’ ha bare tits. “I’ll be whatever you want. Do whatever you want. You know that. I just want to make you happy.”

I put ha tha top on tha toilet down an’ take uh seat by ha tub. Somthin’ ‘bout dis’ moment make me shift. Mah heart beat uh lil’ fasta. Mah dick twitch jus’ uh lil’. I lick mah lips an’ lean close ta’ ha as I pull ha knife from mah side.

“I o’ly wan’cha ta’ do one thang fo’ me, yah? Kill yah’self.”

Starin’ wide-eyed at me, I kin tell she ain’t sho’ wha’ I mean. So, I set ha knife on tha edge uf tha tub an’ point ta’ it.

“Pick up tha knife, open up yah thighs, an’ kill yah’self.”

Tha air stifles. Ha heart start crashin’ ‘gainst ha ribcage. Fear ain’t o’ly stampin’ ha face, it’s fillin’ tha air. I kin tell she ‘bout ta’ scream bu’ I’on’t gih ha tha chance. Pullin’ out mah 45 an’ pointin’ it dead at tha centa uf ha head, I catch ha jus’ as uh cry come out ha mouf.

“Uh-uh. Na if yah scream, I’ma hafta splatta dat pre’ty lil’ face uf yah’s all ova dis’ere bathroom. Bu’ den it’ll get all messy an’ I ain’t in tha mood fa’ dat, yah. So, be uh big gurl an’ open up uh a’tery. Yah’ll go fast.”

Tears come runnin’ down ha face a’gin. Lips quiverin’. Head an’ body shakin’.  

“Don…Don’t…make…me… do this, Tiste…Pl…plea..please…”

Tappin’ mah silenca ‘gainst ha mouf, I shake mah head wit’ uh sinista grin.

“I won’t repeat mah’self, chea. I pr’mised yah I’d be tha last face yah see if yah ain’t lis’sen. Yah -ain’t- lis’sen. Bu’ go’on, try me if yah won’t’ta’. I got no bones ‘bout blowin’ yah fuckin’ head off.”

Chea, tremblin’ an’ whimperin’ as she grab tha knife. Na, I kno’ dis’ uh risk ‘cos she kin cut me if she rea’ly wanted ta’. Bu’ dis’ uh foo’s dream. Many thank dey’d be dat one ta’ figh’. Ta’ go down swingin’. Ta’ take ‘em down wit’cha. Bu’ mos’? Jus’ die. Mah gun right b’tween ha eyes makin’ mah sincerity real fa’ ha too. I point mah gun ta’ ha uppa thigh an’ ha whol’ body jump. Terrified.

“Righ’chea. Deep.”

Relu’tantly an’ wit’ shaky hands, chea slice open right thigh an’ cry out from tha pain. Tha red mist fill tha hot wata quick as she doubles ta’ tha side, mouf wide bu’ barely any sound comin’ out. She press ha fac ‘gainst tha cold bath tiles, snot an’ tears smearin’ ha flushed flesh—she ac’tually get up tha nerve ta’ cry out loud fa’ help. Real quick, I shove mah silenca in ha mouf, release tha safety, an’ pull back tha chamba ta’ sho’ ha it’s loaded.

“Open casket o’ closed. Yah choice, chea.”

Chokin’ an’ cryin’ ‘round mah metal, she shake ha head, eyes lowerin’ an’ beggin’ me not ta’ pull tha trigga. I ain’t looked ‘way from ha face. Ha eyes. I wanna see tha s’cond ha life ends. Ha heart pumpin’ fast. Tryin’ta’ make up fa’ tha blood she losin’. Chea lookin’ uh lil’ drowsey. I pull mah gun from ha mouf when I hea ha pulse slo’.

“I’m sorry…”

Tha two words ain’t no louda den uh whispa. Chea ain’t got tha enagy ta’ do much mo’. Tha an’mal in me can smell death comin’. It’s knockin’ on ha do’. Ha breathin’s shallo an’ slo’. Tha steam comin’ off tha wata make tha scent uf ha blood uh heady mixture wit’ ha sufferin’. Wit’out hesitashun, I shake mah head wit’ uh deadpan expresshun.

“Too late fa’ dat, chea.”

Uh few mo’ tears roll down ha face fo’ ha body slump ta’ tha side. Lips parted bu’ no air comin’ out. Tha pumpin’ uf ha heart come ta’ uh stop. It o’ly take uh few minutes ta’ bleed ta’ death when uh maja a’tery open. If chea eyes wa’n’t starin’ right at me, I’d thank she migh’ jus’ be passed out from tha blood lost bu’ ain’t no Cassie ‘dea. Tha light in ha blue eyes gon’ out. Two fangas ta’ tha side uf ha neck, I check ha pulse an’ make sho’ wha’ I smell is right.

Chucklin’ an’ gettin’ up, I grab ha test off tha flo’ an’ put it back in ha cab’net.  

“Pr’blem solved.”

____

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 12-19-17]

[kassieroughley4-blog]

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Shantae: Half-Genie Housewife - Chapter 1

Shantae stood just outside the doors to the lair's innermost sanctum, hyping herself up. The puzzles have been solved, the enemies defeated and the traps avoided, all while she was heavily pregnant with twins. She smiled and rubbed her stomach. “This is it, you guys. Nearly over.” She pushed open the door and charged in, taking a battle stance. “Baron!”

“Ah, the little half-genie Shantae,” the baron chuckles, his back to her as he stood hunched over a cauldron. His figure was obscured by a dark cloak. “What an unexpected surprise, and by unexpected I of course mean completely expected.”

“So? I’m ready to take you on!” She retorts, raising her fists. “Get ready to have your butt kicked!”

“On the contrary, my dear,” he grinned and chuckled, beginning to turn around. “It is you who will have your--!” Now fully turned around, he stopped himself mid sentence, his menacing look on his plain, shaven face dropped to one of confusion and even surprise.

Shanate grinned and laughed. “What? Surprised I’m still in one piece from your traps? Gotta admit, they were pretty good for a new guy like you.”

The baron took a sharp inhale, and fiddled with his fingers. “Well, um, I guess that is one thing as well,” he nodded, “but, um, I was not aware of...that.” He gestured to her stomach area.

The half-genie gave a confused look. “What? You mean my tummy?” She poked it with a finger. “What? Think I can’t kick butt when expecting?”

“I mean, it is very clear you can, just isn’t something you really expect. Man. Woof.” He turned his back to her again. “Why didn’t they tell me she’s pregnant?! Would have been good to know! Can, can I even do this now?”

“Huh?” Shanate tilted her head, dropping her fists to now rest on her hips. “Can you what? Fight me? I don’t see why not.”

He turned back to her, throwing his hood down to reveal long unkempt brown locks. He clapped his hands together in front of him. “Listen. Allow me to level with you. As you can tell, I am a new baron. Heck, I don’t even have a title yet. I’m just ‘baron’, not even a capital ‘B’.” He chuckled awkwardly. “As such, this is really my make or break moment to see if I can become a true baron. I have some qualms with it being I have to beat up a pregnant girl.”

“Who says you’re gonna win?” She smirks. “Listen, I went through your dungeon, solved your puzzles, and even learned a new transformation that I’m sure will help me take down whatever tricks you have up your sleeves. Let’s fight already!” She pouts a little.

“How far along are you anyways?” He asks absentmindedly.

Shantae rolls her eyes. “Eight months with twins.” She places a hand on her bump and rubs a small area.

“Ok. Yep. That’s pretty far along, especially for twins,” the baron nodded. “I could easily put you in labor during our fight, and I don’t want that on me.”

“Aw, come on!” She shouts, clearly frustrated. “Please? I swear I won’t pop! My tummy hasn’t even dropped yet, so I’m not even close to labor.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t control when the baby comes, unless it's some genie power,” he adds, unimpressed. “Look, why are you even fighting when you’re so pregnant?”

“Because I’ve gotta protect people from bad guys like you! It’s my job!”

“And there is no one else who can handle this? Just you?”

“Well, my friends could,” Shantae contemplates, but quickly shakes it off, “but this really is my thing, so I want to keep doing it my way.” She shrugs and pats her bump.

“You could at least set up a buddy system or something. What happens if you do something that hurts your babies or something? What then?”

“Well…” She was quiet for a while, not really sure what to say. “I just try not to,” she finally responded, before glaring at him in an angry yet kind of cute way. “Why do you even care about this anyways? You’re the bad guy!” “Valid point, but I don’t want to harm the unborn child! They’re the purest of innocents as there are, and I will not be a monster!”

“Children,” she corrects. “But you do other bad things, right?”

“Theft, larceny, enslavement, pirating, malicious potion brewing, world domination,” he listed off, “but nothing like killing. No sir. Non-lethal takeovers are the plans of this baron-to-be!”

“Ugh! You’re the lamest baron ever!” She huffs, rolling her eyes. “You really suck!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what do you want me to do then, huh? Just break the Barons’ Code? That’s a great idea to get kicked out!” He retorted mockingly. He crosses his arms. “Inconsiderate welp. You could learn some decency. In fact...yeah,” he smiled and nodded his head slowly. “Yeah. I think I know an apt punishment for you now. Get ready, half-genie!”

“Oh, so now you wanna fight. Finally!” She grinned, resuming her fighting posture.

“With magic!” He declares, turning back to his cauldron.

“Oh yeah, with what?” She mocks. “I have loads of transformations. Flood the room? I’ll swim as a mermaid. Fire floor? I’ll fly above it! Spikes? I’ll jump from spike to spike as a monkey! Show me what ya got!”

“Quiet the impressive repertoire,” he smirks at his cauldron. “You like having such varied transformations on hand, is that correct, my dear?”

She responds cautiously after a moment. “Yeah…?”

“Well, then.” He turns back to her, a pink vial now in hand. “Perhaps you would care for a new one?”

Her eyes go right for the vial. “Yeah, sure. Probably some kind of poison, isn’t it? What makes you think I can trust you with that?”

“You can’t really, can you?” He asks rhetorically, shaking the vial. “Shame. Looks like you’ll have to take a chance.” He suddenly dashes forward with a great speed, placing a hand firmly on her belly.

“Hey!” She shouts, her facing turning a bright red and her voice growing angry. “W-Watch it, pal!” She tries to back up, but it feels to her as if his hand was now glued to her.

“Say ‘ah’,” he teased as he tried to force the bottle to her lips.

She curls in her lips, keeping her mouth sealed. “Mhmh!” She shakes her head. The baron, not to be deterred, begins to squeeze her belly; soft at first, but progressively tighter and tighter. Shantae begins to moan, holding them back as long as she can until she is forced to open her mouth. “What happened to--?”

Before she could so much as start, the baron quickly poured the contents of the vial straight down her throat, forcing her to swallow it down. The liquid was very thin, and emptied quickly down her gullet. “You JERK!” She shouted, trying to swipe away at him with her hair.

“Thought you’d like a little gift,” he joked, dodging by quickly rushing back as fast as he had come.

“What happened to not hurting a pregnant lady?” She asked in a hoarse voice while rubbing her throat.

“Did I hurt you, though?” He asked back, sounding honest.

“You sq-squeezed my tummy! An-And forced me to drink that weird gunk!” Her voice was returning to normal, but sounded flustered now.

“But does it hurt?” He asked again, just as honest.

“It...well, n-no,” she responded quietly. “B-But still!” She pouted.

“See? No harm, so no foul.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

“Big jerk,” she huffs, crossing her arms atop her belly. “What did that stuff even do to me?”

“Not feeling it yet? (Not enough bat wool),” he asked. “Well then you should be feeling it soon enough.”

“What? What is it?!”

“You’ll see,” he grins

She cowers slightly, putting her hands on her belly nervously. Suddenly, a weak headache strikes her, and she feels the whole weight of her body on her. She takes a few hazy steps as the headache builds in intensity, trying to lean against a wall that was not there.

“Feeling woozy?”

“N-No!” She retorts, gasping as the headache makes a large surge.

“Seems like it to me,” he chuckles.

“Shut up,” she scoffs and blows a raspberry before shortly falling to the floor. Oooh, my head...wait...what is this…?

“Something on your mind?” He asks tauntingly.

“Nnggh-nothing!” She snaps, shutting her eyes and grasping her pounding head. What are these thoughts? They’re so weird…

“Trying to fight it? I’d suggest not. It is a very strong potion,” he voices.

“Wh-What did you do?” She struggles to say, the thoughts in her mind getting more intrusive and over powering.

“Your thoughts. Tell me them, speak them aloud and you will have your answer.” He grins deviously.

“Staying at home, c-cooking...cleaning?” She grits her teeth as she speaks, and the realization hits her. “Y-You’re making me a housewife…?”

“Yes! Exactly!” He pumped a fist. “Now you got it! Right on the money!”

“Why?!” She yelled, making as strong as an effort she still could to hold back the thoughts in her head.

“It’s simple, really, when you think about it. By making you a dutiful little housewife, you won’t get in my way to stop my plans as you’ll be much too busy around the house. Much too busy!” He explained. “In fact, you’ll never trouble the Barons again. This will certainly earn me my baron title!”

“You jerk!” Shantae retorted in an appalled tone.

“Fight it all you want,” the baron sounded amused, “but once the brew eventually sets in, you will simply have to give in.”

The half-genie began breathing deeply as the thoughts began to overtake her. “You big, dumb jerk! You are the absolute worst, you big, fat, stupif je--!”

And then she suddenly stopped, mid sentence. A confused, almost lost look came across her face.

And there it is, the baron thought. “My, how rude. You’re hurting my feelings.

“Oh? I-I’m ever so sorry,” Shantae responded, her tone suddenly sweet. “I don’t know what came over me.”

Score. “Oh, think nothing of it,” he chuckled with a hand wave. “You were simply not in the right mind.”

She giggles lightly. “Of course. Um, would you mind maybe showing me home?” She blushed slightly, trying to get to her feet.

“Of course,” he nods, quickly coming to her side to help her up. “Where is it you live, my dear?”

“I live in--.” A chill shook her head, and her eye twitched. “What? I’ll never tell you, ya creep!” She yelled and pointed accusingly, before a confused look came over her face and she withdrew her arm. “S-Sorry about that...that was strange.”

“You’re fine. Must simply be the hormones,” he tells her. Fight all you want, little half-genie, he laughs to himself.

“Probably. They do do strange things,” she giggles, stroking her belly slowly.

“Fret not, I understand. So, where do you live? I assume somewhere in Scuttle Town, correct?”

 “Yes, the lighthouse on the outskirts,” she nodded with a smile.

“I can manage that. I’ll use some magic to take you back,” I offer.

“Be my--.” Her head jerked slightly, before she took a step back and tried to run away.

“Shantae? Where are you going?” He asked calmly but with a subtle confidence.

“Away from you, you je--!” She suddenly stops with a confused look, nearly stumbling over. “W-What was that?”

“Careful.” The baron hurries to her side to catch her from falling. “Not the best idea to run while pregnant. Center of gravity is all off.”

“Of course, I shouldn’t be doing such silly things,” she giggles. “Thank you, again.”

“No problem,” he smiles comfortingly. “Speaking of silly things, your get up…”

“Hm?” She looks down at herself. As was the usual, she wore a very small red crop top, with pants in a matching shade that were see-through slightly. She also wore gold braces around her arms and her hair was held back in a tight ponytail. “You’re right, this is pretty silly,” she laughs. “I mean, just look at all this belly I’m showing off. “

“Just a suggestion,” the baron started as he began to lead her out of his lair, “but perhaps change into something more reasonable when you get home?”

“A very good suggestion,” she agreed, following him. “I had the idea myself. I certainly must have something more comfortable.”

“Yes,” he nodded, cheering in victory on the inside. “So, any other plans for today?”

“Hmmm.” She trails behind him a small distance as they walk. “I think I should clean up my house today, certainly has been a while...maybe take a crack at some baking...and...kicking your butt!”

He quickly glanced behind himself to catch her charging forward, shouting and making motions to tackle him. He quickly stepped aside, but made it seem like he got hurt in some way.

Shantae rolls forward, ending up on her butt. The determined look on her face quickly melts to one of alarm and embarrassment. “Oh my! I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what came over me!”

“You’re fine. I am quite alright,” he assures her, quickly coming to help her up. “Though, let’s hope that’s the last outburst…” A bold attempt, but that was your last try. The potion should have fully set in by now.

“Yes, let’s,” she nodded in agreement. “Sorry, again. I’ve been such a mess, and I have no idea why.”

“You’re fine, really. I’ve handled worse,” he joked, making a small laugh. “So, back on topic, is that all you have planned? What about going out?”

Shantae looked at him with a bemused expression. “Why would I go out? Maybe for shopping, but what else?”

“Just curious,” the baron responded, congratulating himself mentally. “Is there any reason why?”

“I belong at home,” she explains. “That’s where I should be, preparing for my babies.” She hugs her belly, smiling down at it.

“Good,” the baron grins. The two eventually arrive outside his lair, which exits to the lush jungles of Sequin Land. “Seems quite a walk,” he commented, trying to gaze through the rather dense trees. “How did you get here to begin with, if you can recall?”

“I ran,” she responded, and seemed to surprise herself. “What a silly thing to do!” She laughs, patting her stomach.

“And dangerous. I must offer you a safer means back home. I have a spell that can make the travel much quicker.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” she nodded.

“Of course,” he said. “Hopefully, we may have another visit with each other at a later time.”

“That would be very nice.”

“Farewell, Shantae,” he waved, and in an instant he summoned a whirlwind, producing a squeak from the half-genie before she disappeared with it. When she finally did, the baron let out a hearty, loud laugh. “It worked! Now she sees herself as nothing more than a lowly housewife! I am free to pursue my plans! The barons may wreck havoc as they please!” A wide grin grows across his face. “Oh! I must tell them! I will certainly earn my title now!” With a spring in his step, the baron returned to the bowels of his lair.