#MC21+

[bestialsadist]

Beast uf Tha Southern Wild (|6|) Bro’ken Possesshun Pt. 1-3

Part 1:

"Yah thank yah punishin' ha?"

(I co'ck mah head ta' thuh si'de.)

Fa'wha'? Na'. I ain't dat type, pl'us why wuld I do dat? As mu’ch as chea dri’ves me cr’azy as shi’t, I ain’t punishin’ fa’ nothin’ an’ I wuldn’t e’vn if I had uh re’son.

"Unc'nscious, Kiki."

Na’, I wo’ke up wit’ mah wif’ on t’op uf me an’ I ain’t hav’ thuh sl’ightest feelin’ fa’ ha. Dat ain’t u punishin’ ha, dat’s punishin’ mah’self. Somthin’s wr’ong wit’ me.

“Yah sayin’ thuh wood ain’t…wood?”

(Slow-blinkin’ at Greypa lik’ he’s ‘bout ta’ mak’me go jump in’thuh fuckin’ la’ke behin’ dey house.)

Na’. Mah wood ain’t thuh pro’lem, Greypa. I was brick’d. It ain’t phys’cal. Phys’cal wuld be eas’isuh fa’ me ta’ ha’ndle. Tak’some med’cine, do som’ ta chi wit’ Aunty. Dea’s stuff fa’ dat bu’t wha’s dea’ fa’ feelin’ nothin’ fa’ thuh w’man yah luh?

(He t’ilt ‘is head at’me an’ po’int ‘is tea at me.)

“Hm. When yah start feelin’ lik’ dis’hea?”

I’on’t kno’, few weeks?

“Yah talk ta’ ha ‘bout it?”

(I st’are at’im lik’ he cr’azy.)

Na’. Bu’t I kno’ I ain’t go’t ta’ ma’ny mo’ ch’ances ta’ tell dat w’man no befo’ I wa’ke up wit’ uh sho’tgun in’mah fa’ce ‘cos chea thank I’m fuckin’ sombody else.

“I’m guessin’ dat wuldn’t be thuh firs’ time?”

Na’.

(I tak’ uh drank uf mah own tea an’ sha’ke mah head.)

“Do yah feel lik’ yah won’t somthin’ o’ someone else?”

(I ch’oke on’ mah tea, lookiin’ back at’im lik’ he grew uh s’cond head.)

Greypa.

“I gottuh ask thuh ha’rd queshuns. E’vn thuh ones yah ain’t re’ady ta’ ask yah’self.”

Ask all yah won’t. I’on’t won’t na’body bu’t mah wif’. I nevuh hav’. E’vn wh’en I did str’ay, it ain’t nev’uh been ‘bout na’ht wontin’ mah wif’. It was us’ually feelin’ lik’ chea iced me ou’t o’ jus’ havin’ uh app’tite dat I’on’t thank chea can feed. Bu’t non’uf dat is dis’hea. I jus’ ain’t mah’self righ’na. I feel lik’ I’m cover’d in red fuckin’ fire ants mos’ uf thuh day an’ I can ba’rely contr’ol mah lycan. Dis’hea ain’t ‘bout ha.

“So, why na’ht ta’lk ta’ ha?”

‘Cos all chea gon’ hea’ is it’s ‘bout ha. Ha fa’ult. Somthin’ chea need ta’ fix. Yah kno’, ‘membuh when yah ask me ‘bout when I st’opped fu’lly trustin’ ha wit’ st’uff? I culdn’t rem’mbuh bu’t I was thankin’ mo’ ‘bout it an’ thuh las’t tim’ I tol’ ha e’vrythang was ‘bout ha daddy an’ chea turn’d on me. Turn’d on me bad an’ I thank it kinduh br’oke me uh lil’. Uf all thuh thangs chea wuld thank I’d lie ta’ ha ‘bout, tellin’ ha uh co’ward ass daddy sol’ thuh wulves ou’t ta’ thuh fuckin’ fangas ain’t somthin’ I’d jus’ pull ou’t mah ass.

(He leans in an’ I kno’ dat look lik’ I kno’ mah own face.)

“Dis’hea why I’m askin’ if yah punishin’ ha. Yah gottuh lottuh anguh in’yah an’ yah ain’t gon’ be able ta’ git past it ‘till yah do.”

Dis’hea ain’t ‘bout mah anguh.

“Wha’chuh thank it’s ‘bout ‘den?”

Dat I ain’t gottuh gud nigh’s sl’eep in weeks, I keep havin’ dese mu’rderous nigh’mares, I won’t ta’ shi’ft mah hands ta’ cl’aws an’ car’ve mah skin off, an’ dat I cain’t seem ta’ st’op mah lycan from rearin’ ‘is head at’thuh wor’se fuckin’ times. I a’mos’ shi’fted ins’de mah wif’, Greypa. I ain’t been thuh sam’e since an’ chea act lik’ it nevuh happen’d. Dat evuh happ’n ta’ yah? An’y uf dis’?

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 10-20-23]

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Part 2:

“KiKi. It ain’t ta’ much I ain’t been through na’. Bu’t yah’on’t thank wha’ yah jus’ expl’ained migh’ na’ be thuh re’asons yah head ain’t in it?”

(Droppin’ mah head back an’ sighin’. He mo’ righ’ den I won’t ‘em ta’ be.)

Pr’olly.

“Dea’s na’ pr’olly. Dis’hea wuld mak’ an’ybody shu’t down. Bu’t I thank yah missin’ dat yah shuttin’ down ‘cos yah ou’chea still movin’ lik’ lif’ ain’t ch’anged o’ lik’ thangs ain’t been outtuh wa’ck fa’ yah. An’ it is. Big time. So it’s manifestin’ wit’ thuh p’rson closest ta’ yah. I cain’t be’gin ta’ tell yah all thuh thangs yah aunty don’ had ta’ end’ure wit’ me bu’t chea don’ been through it.”

(I lis’sen. It’s all I can do righ’na is lis’sen an’ tak’ it all in. I’on’t re’ally kno’ if he been t’rough wha’ I’m dealin’ wit’ bu’t I resp’ct ‘em an’ ‘is w’sdom a’ways an’ I’m cherishin’ thuh lil’ time we hav’ lef’t. Jus’ anothuh thang I ain’t really talk’d ta’ Z ‘bout.)

“I kno’ Z luh yah an’ I kno’ yah luh ha. Dat ain’t na’ queshun. So yah gon’ git through wha’chuh goin’ through. I kno’ it. Be’lieve me. Yah gon’ bof’ gon’ be okay, KiKi. ‘Cos I said yah are.”

(Grinnin’ an’ shakin’ mah head. He a’ways tak’ me ou’t mah head an’ mak’me laugh. Lik’ he kno’ I need it. Bu’t he said somthin’ dat go’t me thankin’.)

Yah an’ Tanta re’ally been t’rough thuh ranguh huh?

(I a’ways id’olized dey connecshun wit’ ea’ch othuh. Comin’ from wha’ me an’ Desi saw ta’ dea’s was seein’ somthin’ d’fferent an’ wha’ I ain’t kno’ I wont’d.)

“Huh. Ranguh ain’t e’vn thuh ha’lf uf it. Bu’t we go’t tr’iple thuh yea’s yah ta’ go’t. Ya’ still ba’bies by compar’son. Bu’t I kno’ dis’hea gon’ be uh ha’rd ti’me fa’ bof’.”

Wha’chuh mean? Why I fe’el lik’yah ain’t tellin’ me somthin’? Yah kno’ wha’ I’m goin’ t’rough?

(Aunty Tanta com’ t’rough an’ cut off wha’evuh he wa’s ‘bout ta’ say. Na’ I’m wonderin’.)

“Hey, mah belov’d.” (Chea kiss’s Greypa an’ den com’s ta’ kiss me on thuh head. I giv’ha uh hug, longuh den I ‘xpect ta’.) “Hey, mah yaya. Hope I’m na’ht interruptin’. I’ll be cookin’ an’ ou’chea hair. Yah stayin’ fa’ dinnuh?”

I’ll stay ta’ grab uh pla’te fa’ Z bu’t I ain’t so hu’ngry.

“Okay, swee’theart. I’ll mak’yah somthin’ ta’ go.”

(Dey kno’ all I been dealin’ wit’ an’ it ain’t no su’rpise I ain’t go’t na’ app’tite.)

Thank yah, aunty.

(Chea head in’thuh kit’chun brushin’ us off ta’ go ba’ck ta’ talkin’.)

“Yah talk ta’ D?”

Desi?

“Na’, thuh co’nnect, Donte.”

Ohh, yea’, I did. He gud pe’oples. Ha’rdworkuh.

“Yea’, I thought yah bof’ wuld ge’talong well. Thea’s som’ po’tential dea.”

Yea’, he’s gud in’thuh work bu’t when he show’d me ‘is shop, I kn’ew we culd do som’othuh work ta’gethuh ta’. I’m thankin’ yah kno’ dat.

“Yea. I won’t ta’ help yah in an’y way I can ta’ git on thuh str’iaght an’ arr’ow. It’s impo’rtant.”

I kno’. I’m tryin’.

“I kno’ yah are. Yah talkin’ ta’ Z ‘bout ta’ dat?”

(I laugh, tryin’ na’ht ta’ bu’t I do.)

Na’h. Rem’mbuh wha’ I said ‘bout ha daddy? Yea, I’on’t ta’lk ta’ ha ‘bout dat pa’rt uf thuh bus’ness an’ chea sa’id chea ain’t won’t ta’ be part uf dat wuld. So, I res’pect it.

(I see ‘im sigh an’ disc’ntent. Ma’ybe dis’apppointment. I kno’ it’s som’thangs I gottuh work on ta’ wit’ ha.)

“Wha’ do yah talk ta’ ha ‘bout?”

Yea, I a’redy kno’ whea’ yah goin’. I’m tryin’. Mah wif’ jus’ ain’t thuh eas’iest w’man ta’ talk wit’ whe’n it ain’t got ta’ do wit’ ha.

“Bu’tchuh ca’in’t stop tryin’ ta’ commun’cate. Thas thuh qui’ckest way ta’ end dat luh yah two got. Thuh bes’t thang yah aunty evuh tol’ me was I won’t ta’ hea’ it. It’on’t mattuh how ug’ly, bl’oody, o’ beaut’ful it is, I won’t ta’ hea’ it an’ we gon’ go t’rough it ta’gethuh. I ain’t hav na’ say in it. Chea said yah gon’ talk ta’ me o’ yah won’t hav’ me. O’ ha words, if yah won’t ta’ act alone den be alone. Dat mil’d mannered w’man yah see bobbin’ ‘round hea’on’t play na’ games. We got a understandin’. Yah two need ta’ find yah understandin’ a’gin.”

Hm. I hea’ yah, Greypa. Ion’t kno’ wha’ we gon’ do.

“Jus’ try. Le’t go uf wha’ she did in thuh past an’ keep tryin’ until yah can talk wit’ ha. I kno’ yah talk ta’ yah co’sins bu’t yah need ta’ talk ta’ ha. Yah two cain’t su’rvive if yah don’t figuh out how ta’ let ha back in. Dat’s all I want fa’ yah both. Can yah do dat fa’ me, Kiyiya?”

(Thuh way he full name me tell me ta’ lis’sen in’uh d’fferent way. It ain’t jus’ re’quest, it’s kinduh uh plea. I slo’w nod.)

“Yah gottuh say it. Let ha in, Kiyiya. She culd be gone ta’morro.”

(He gr’ab mah hand an’ squeeze. It is uh plea. Ain’t na’ queshun an’ I kno’ he wo’rried ‘bout me.)

I hea’ yah, Greypa. I’ll do bettuh ta’ try ta’ le’tha in. I pr’mise yah. I won’t ha in. Jus’ hard.

“I kno’ bu’t if it’s hard, try harduh den.”

Yes’sir.

(Aunty Tanta com’ ‘ou’t wit’ uh plate fa’ Greypa an’ bag fa’ me.)

“Go feed yah wif’. Gud conversation starter.”

(Laughin’, I get up an’ hug ha.)

Thank yah, aunty, an’ I’ll talk ta' yah bof’ latuh. Luh yah bof'.

"Tak'mo tea too, son."

Yes'sir.

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 10-21-23]

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Part 3:

“When’s tha last time yah sat an’ held yah wife, KiKi?”

Thuh othuh nigh’t. Chea gottuh ha’bit uf climbin’ in’mah lap an’ ballin’ ha’self intuh me. I ain’t re’ally gottuh say in’thuh mattuh.

(Chucklin’ at’dat, ‘cos it’s tr’ue bu’t I’on’t mind it.)

“Touch imp’rtant ta’ ha.”

Yea. Mo’den fa’ me.

“Yah love languages different then?”

I thank so. Chea needta’ be tou’ched, uhffirm’d, an’ I ha’te bein’ uhfirm’d o’ touch’d ta’ much. I’on’t kno’, we o’ly re’ally talk’d ‘bout it in passin’ mo’ den an’ythang wh’en we did on’e uf yah hom’works. Na’ht ta’ deep bu’t I jus’ kno’ mah wif’, so I can guess whea’ chea migh’ fall. 

“New homework. Yah both need ta’ find ou’t yah luh language. Talk ‘bout tha top three. Tha ones yah got in common if yah got any. Tha ones dats different. Don’t put too much stock in wha’cha get. Dat ain’t tha point. Tha point is ta’ learn yah needs in a different way, so yah can address them. Mah wif’ loves fa’ me ta’ do stuff fa’ ha. Acts of ser’vice. Cook on uh nigh’t it’s ha turn ta’ cook. Rub ha feet. But I -hate- fa’ ha ta’ do stuff fa’ me. I like ta’ do stuff fa’ ha but I’m old school. Tha thangs ‘bout them languages is yah learn why she do stuff an’ what it mean ta’ ha, not jus’ what she might need. E’vn tho I hate people doin’ stuff fa’ me, I kno’ when she do it, it’s ha showin’ me ha love. Not jus’ how she wants me ta’ love ha but how she loves. So, I let ha do stuff hea’ an’ dea’ ‘cos it make ha happy. Make sense?”

Hm. (I ain’t thank uf it from dea’. It ain’t jus’ ‘bout how chea won’t ta’ be luh’d bu’t how chea sho’ ha luh ta’ me. How chea’ need me ta’ feel ha luh, e’vn if it ain’t thuh way I lik’ta be luh’d.) So, if I’m stoppin’ ha fr’om showin’ dat ta’ me, e’vn if it ain’t how I luh, I’m kinduh rejectin’ ha?

“Mhm. It migh’t not be on purpose but it could feel dat way ta’ ha. She eva tell yah dat?”

Na’ht in so ma’ny words bu’t I can tell by ha bo’dy lag’uage when I’on’t giv’ha thuh sam’e en’ergy back. Chea kinduh go inta’ ha’self. Git small, yah kno’? I feel lik’ shi’t e’vry time bu’t I ain’t won’t ta’ giv’ ha fak’e en’rgy eithuh. It ai’t e’vn dat I’on’t won’t ha tocuhin’ me, it’s jus’ dat it hu’rts. Ha luh hu’rts me righ’na.

“Somthin’ I’ve noticed wit’ mah younga cli’ents, ya’ way too wo’rried ‘bout givin’ fak’e this or dat. Tha point is ta’ make tha otha happy. Som’times, ya’ take wha’ ya’ might not lik’ o’ want fa’ tha good of tha person ya’ care fa’. Dat don’t mean take trash from ea’ch otha, but givin’ ya’ wife a hug ‘cos she wanna luh on yah when ya’ ain’t in’tha mood isn’t bein’ fake, it’s puttin’ ya’self aside fa’ ha an’ givin’ ha what she wants. Same fa’ ha. She can’t use ya’ actions as reasons why she do o’ don’t do anything. Inaction is a action. Ya’ both gon’ in-act ya’ way inta uh divorce. Because tha way ya’ end up in somebody else bed o’ ha in somebody else bed is ‘cos ya’ bed got cold. An’ quiet. We tryin’ ta’ help ya’ not get thea. But ya’ both stubborn as damn oxes. I’d say wolves but wolves naturally communicate.”

(I’on’t kno’ wha’ it is, bu’t som’times it ta’ke Greypa ta’ jus’ say shi’t pla’in ta’ me fa’ me ta’ git it.)

“Na’ I get ya’ pain. I kno’ dat can’t be underscored. We workin’ on helpin’ yah wit’ dat as ‘long as ya’ keepin’ up wit’cha tea an’ stuff.”

I am, I pr’mise. As mu’ch as I ha’te it. It’s thuh o’ly wa’y I git fud in’me wit’out shiftin’.

“Ya’ got a appetite when ya’ shift?”

Yea’. Na’ pain. I eat. Uh lil’ on thuh rah rah si’de bu’t nothin’ lik’ wha’ I’m dealin’ wit’ na’. If I culd, I’d st’ay on all fo’s. 

“Hm. I thank it’s both uh good and bad thang dat ya’ wolf ain’t feelin’ wha’cha feelin’. Bu’t we gon’ get back ta’ dat. On’e thang atta time. I wan’cha ta’ thank ‘bout yah marriage like uh bank account, an emo’tional bank account. We want ta’ deposit good emo’tions in by focusin’ on havin’ fun and havin’ good times ta’getha. Every time we deal wit’ negative or confrontational situations, dat’s a withdrawal. We want ta’ make sure dat bank account doesn’t end up in tha negative from focusin’ so much on tha bad an’ wha’s wrong an’ all tha fightin’. Dat don’t mean ta’ ignore it but if ya’ thinkin’ ‘bout ev’ry situation bein’ uh withdrawal or deposit, ya’ start ta’ see whea ya’ both might be focusin’ on tha pain mo’ than tha luh.”

(I’on’t get ta’ say nothin’ befo’ I hea’ Aunty com’e in from thuh ki’tchen.)

“I don't want ya’ ta’ bring tha critique ya’ get on a daily basis in life inta’ ya’ marriage. Unintentionally. I want to speak from a woman’s perspective. Ya’ a larger than life man, physically and figuratively. Ya’ very sure of ya’self in many ways, despite so much that has happened ta’ ya’ and tha family. Ya’ bounce back pretty quickly. Ya’ wife does not. Ya’ wife is not as fortified or flexible as ya’. So ya’ can’t approach ha as ya’ would approach someone like ya’ but rather as someone like ha. She has a lot of unresolved issues, insecurities, worries, and dat’s not ta’ say ya’ don’t have insecurities, ya’ human. Relatively. I kno’ ya’ do. But ya’ don’t respond ta’ them in tha same way as ha. Ha insecurities play out in ha interactions wit’ tha people she loves. She wants ta’ fix ya’ because dat’s tha only way she understands how ta’ show luh and how ta’ feel loved. Bein’ useful. Bein’ needed. Bein’ tha glue dat holds everythin’ ta’getha even when every thang is fallin’ a part. Who do ya’ think dat might be?”

Wha’chuh mean?

“Who in ha life do ya’ think dat might be?”

Ma’ybe ha mama?

“Mhm. Ha mama. She is ha mama. She thinks ha issues are wit’ ha fatha. And there are issues there dat she’s shared ya’ know ‘bout but tha relationship she’s enactin’ on ev’ryone she loves is ha relationship or lack thereof wit’ ha mama. Ya’ constantly tellin’ ha wha’ she doesn’t do right is ha father tellin’ ha mama what she needs ta’ be doin’. Do ya’ think ya’ seen ha shrink befo’ when ya’ tell ha ya’ needs?”  

Yea’ I hav’. Jus’ lik’ I was tellin’ Greypa e’vn wh’en I’on’t giv’ha en’ergy ba’ck. Bu’t I kno’ whe’n I’ve sa’id ta’ much ta’ ha. I ain’t tryin’ ta’ hu’rt ha, jus’ showin’ ha wha’ I need. I see ha whol’ body go inta’ ha’self an’ I shu’tdown. Tryin’ na’ht ta’ hu’rtha feelin’s bu’t I’on’t kno’ how ta’ tell ha wha’ I need o’ ‘on’t lik’ wit’ou’t me hurtin’ ha cos’ wha’ we need is d’fferent.

“I ain’t sayin’ ya’ ha daddy, I’m sayin’ dat’s what comes up fa’ ha and she don’t even realize it. Dat hurt ain’t really ‘bout ya’, it’s ha hearin’ ha daddy talk ta’ ha mama and ha mama tryin’ ta’ fix it all when it really just hurts. It’s not tha same situation but it feels tha same. I hear ya’ on dat not wantin’ ta’ hurt ha but what ya’ have ta’ remember is two things. One, ha emotions are ha emotions. Ya’ not responsible fa’ them. Ya’ cannot control or change them. Ya’ cannot control or change how someone reacts ta’ somethin’. Ya’ cannot hold ha emotions. Ya’ cannot protect ha from them. This is ya’ cross ta’ bear. Wha’ relationship does dat sound like ta’ ya’?”

Me an’ Desi… 

“Mhm. But dat wasn’t tha first was it?”

(I ain’t ‘xpect thuh heat in’mah face ta’ rise. Rubbin’ mah eyes, I feel thuh watuh fillin’ up.)

Na’.

“Who was tha first, baby?”

Mah mama.

“Mhm. Imagine a little boy havin’ ta’ save his mama. Protect his mama. Hold ha pain. What do ya’ think he will grow up ta’ be? I know this isn’t somethin’ ya’ want ta’ hear but why do ya’ think ya’ son, ya’ firstborn is attached ta’ his mama and ya’ become tha enemy?”

I’on’t kno’ wha’chuh talkin’ ‘bout, Greypa. Me an’ Sha’ggy ain’t go’t beef.

“Baptiste…..Senior. Yah kno’ ‘xactly who we mean. Tomás. Ma husband’s namesake. Another relationship ya’ need ta’ repair but we’re not goin’ thea today. I’m makin’ an observation ya’ not ready ta’ hear. But tha’ only way ta’ get open ta’ hearin’ somethin’ is ta’ hear it. Let’s face, tha’ first few years fa’ dat boy, his daddy was in and out. Ya’on’t think he felt like he had ta’ hold his mama’s tears? Hold ha together? Hold his little bother together? No matter how much we think we hide our pain from our kids, dey know.”

Yah sayin’ I ain’t been dea’ fa’ mah cubs? Like I left ‘em ta’ fend fa’ dey’selves? Fend fa’ dey mama?

“I’m sayin’ ta’ a little kid, baby, dat’s what it looks and feels like even if it ain’t tha truth. So dey overcompensate fa’ those feelin’s. Whether it turns them inta’ little men of tha’ house, tha protectors, tha helpers, tha responsible one, or inta’ tha violent ones who reenact tha trauma they seen. I’m sayin’ ya’ two are two peas in a pod and don’t realize it and not fa’ ya’ ta’ ponder dat right now but ta’ understand why ya’ shutdown when ya’ see ha pain. Why ya’ close ya’self off when ya’ see ha pain cause jus’ like she’s becomin’ dat lil’ girl who watched ha mama shrink fa’ ha father, ya’ becomin’ dat lil’ boy who felt helpless tryin’ ta’ stop tha pain his mama was dealin’ wit’. I’m helpin’ ya’ understand ha actions and ya’ actions and why ya’ got no control over ha feelin’s, only ya’s, baby. ”

(All I can do is st’are do’wn at’mah hands, wishin’ I was an’ywherea bu’t hea’. I keep lis’senin’ bu’t it ta’ke ‘lot outtuh me. Uh whol’ lot.)

“Dat’s one. Two? Is simpler. It’s back ta’ tha bankin’ concept. If ya’ only withdraw, ya’ account will be in tha negative. As a business man, ya’ kno’ ya’ have ta’ deposit, KiKi. This is why we insist on ya’ two makin’ time fa’ each other. No matta what. Ya’ have one night dat is untouched fa’ just ya’ two. No hard talks. No feedback. Just intimacy. Just be togetha. Right’na, y’all are eitha close ta’ overdrawn o’ overdrawn and walkin’ around still usin’ tha debit like it got money on it when ya’ know dat next purchase gettin’ declined. Dem fights, become inevitable, ‘cause dat’s uh deline. E’vry single one, son.”

(Why I laughed at dat, Ion’t kno’ bu’t I do. Dey kno’ I need ex’amples an’ dey ‘on’t hes’tate ta’ gi’ve ‘em ta’ me. Bu’t it help me ta’ see it bettuh. He’lp me und’rstand it bettuh.)

I’m so’ry, I ain’t laughin’ at’chuh, jus’ wha’chuh said ‘cos I git it. We rollin’ on fu’mes if I thank uf mah bike o’ mah tru’ck. An’ chea need som’mo gas bu’t we jus’ lik’ one mo’ stop inst’ed uf makin’ time ta’ gas up. Ta’ wash ha windows. Air thuh tires. Ta’ clea’ ha vents an’ wha’na’ht. I ain’t been takin’ ca’re uf ha. Na’ht fa’real.

“Not talkin’ ta’ ya’ wife puts a wall ‘tween ya’ and isolates ya’ in ya’ own family. I know ya’ feel it, KiKi. I know it don’t feel good. But fear of bein’ ho’nest an’ tha retribution of it is what stops tha ho’nesty from comin’. A marriage doesn’t jus’ end, it slowly di’ssolves ova time ‘cos people stop fightin’. Ev’ry step you both take towards not talkin’, not addressin’ tha real issues, an’ not takin’ tha needs uf ya’ marriage seriously cause of fear, embarrassment, worried ‘bout wha’ som’body else sayin’, not wantin’ ta’ figh’, o’ whatever tha reason is, will get ya’ dat much closer ta’ losin’ it all an’ neva bein’ able ta’ recover. I tell ya’ this from experience. I’ve neva tol’ ya’ but I almost lost everythin’. Ma wife, ma child, ma business…everything.”

Yah chil’? Yah go’t cubs? I tho’ught yah ain’t hav’ an’y.

“I don’t but I did have a son. He died.”

By drowin’. In’thuh lake. He was fiv’ yea’s ol’. 

(Blinkin’ rap’idly, eyes bu’gged. Thuh words com’e ou’t befo’ I e’vn kno’ wha’ I’m sayin’. I’on’t e’vn kno’ how I kno’ dat o’ if it’s e’vn tr’ue.

Thuh su’rprise look on Greypa fa’ce tell me a’redy I’m losin’ mah shi’t.)

Uh.. I’m so’rry. I’on’t kno’ whea’....

“Dat came from?”

(I nod, lookin’ ‘round. Thuh buzzin’ in’mah head startin’ ta’ po’und lik’uh fuckin’ rac’ehorse hoo’ves on thuh gr’ound.)

Is dat… Is dat righ’?

“Yea’, dat happen a lot, son? Ya’ know stuff ya’ ain’t kno’ how ya’ kno’ it?”

Na’ht lik’dat. It’s us’ually in’mah head. I ain’t nevuh been fo’rced ta’ say it lik’ I ain’t had na’ contr’ol lik’ dat.

“How it happen befo’?”

I’on’t kno’. It’s d’fferent. Lik’ it starts runnin’ do’wn fa’cts in’mah head. Kinduh lik’ how I see numbuhs. Den I jus’ kno’ all dis’hea stu’ff. Bu’t I nevuh kno’ if an’y uf it was righ’. Jus’ tho’ught mah ‘maginashuns runnin’ wil’ an’ cr’azy. ‘Til Z’s mama le’mme to’uch ha hands. I was…  was payin’ resp’ects ta’ ha. I ain’t seen ha in yea’s bu’t Z’s reconnectin’ wit’ ha mama an’ sistuhs. Drey was dea’ ta’. I tol’ Z I’on’t won’t mah cub na’ht knowin’ ha kin if ha kin won’ts ta’ kno’ ha. It’s d’fferent if dey ‘on’t won’t ta’ kno’ ha. Bu’t ta’ngent. Thuh s’cond ha hands was in mi’ne, it’s lik’ I saw ha whol’ bloo’dline. E’vry date, e’vry name, e’vry dea’th, e’vn names I’on’t thank dey kno’ is dea’s. I he’ld it ta’gethuh bu’t it was hard. At firs’ it jus’ seem cr’azy bu’t mah wif’ an’ all mah cubs in dese names, da’tes, an’ wha’evuh mad’e me thank it migh’ be somthin’ ta’ it. Bu’t wha’ I look lik’ tellin’ mah cr’azy wif’ o’ ha mama an’ sistuh I thank dey whol’ bloo’dline jus’ fla’shed befo’ mah eyes lik’uh ol’ sch’ol so’uthern bi’ble.

(He noddin’ bu’t e’vn if he wa’n’t, thuh way he lookin’ at’me I culd tell he starin’ t’rough me bu’t ain’t missin’ uh bea’t.)

“Dis’hea come all tha time?”

(I sha’ke mah head.)

Na’, ain’t na’ rhy’me o’ re’ason. Why? Yah he’ard uf dis’hea befo’?

“Sound like tha same thing that was happenin’ ta’ ma papa. Remember Grey? It’s like he became an encyclopedia of tha family ova night.”

Wha’ is it, aunty?

“Don’t know exactly. I think we called it tha Reach. Just seems ta’ happen ta’ some wolves when they get older.”

Huh. I nevuh hea’rd uf it.

“I thinks it’s been a while since any LaPierre got tha Reach, son.”

Can I giv’ it back? (Dey bof’ laugh at’me bu’t I’m s’rious as fuckin’ hell.) I ain’t kiddin’.

“It ain’t really somthin’ ya’ can give back, KiKi. Ya’ runnin’ now? Neva known ya’ ta’ be a runner.”

I ain’t. Jus’...ti’red. E’vry whea I tu’rn dea’s mo’ I cain’t ex’plain o’ kno’ an’ it’s gettin’ ta’ be re’al fuckin’ annoyin’. ‘Xcuse mah fr’ench.

“Is it jus’ tha stuff ya’ hearin’?”

Na’, it’s thuh dr’eams ta’. On’e nigh’t I’m gettin’ at’e up by mah wulf an’ othuhs I cain’t hea’ nothin’ bu’t watuh an’ I see pa’rts uf me st’uck in osytuh sh’ells, swimmin’ in bl’ood.

“Huh. Dat’s new. At least it looks like ya’ scars healin’. Scabbin’ over. Good sign.”

I gu’ess. Bu’t yah re’ally tellin’ me yah ain’t kno’ wha’ all dis’hea mean?

(I wa’tch ‘em bof’ look at’ ea’ch othuh an’ I kno’ righ’den Greypa ain’t tellin’ me somethin’.)

[©Post to @BestialSadist: 1-21-24]

______________________________________________________________

Part 4: In progress

[tempragarage]

20代からずっと所持しているNSRをリニューアル。 会社の糧となれ。 #honda #hrc #hondansr #nsr #nsr250r #nsr250rse #nsr250se #mc21 #tempramotors #テンプラモータース #tokyo #japan #motolife #bikelife #terra #ajinomotohonda #味の素テラレーシング https://www.instagram.com/p/CqFdaItvF3W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bikebound]

Ultimate Two-Stroke: 421cc NSR-RD hybrid “NSR-D Project” by Simon Cheras (@nsrdproject) — 110 bhp / 240 lbs! “I often wondered what a modern day GP two-stroke would look like and what capabilities it would have as far as technology, geometry and aesthetics.” Built from a $250 ‘92 NSR250 MC21, sporting a 421cc RD350 engine with go-fast goodies from @wiseco_products, @lectronfuelsystems, @wicked_motorsports_atv, Jim Lomas, and similar porting to the drag bike of record-holder John Floyd — one of Simon’s mentors. "When it comes on song...it literally transforms into a disgusting screaming animal, completely and utterly demonic." Other highlights include a custom chromoly cradle, CBR600 forks, Öhlins rear suspension, Brembo brakes, Tyga bodywork, carbon fenders and fuel tank, Magtek magnesium rims, quickshifter, full telemetry (GPS, lean angle, brake, and travel sensors), and more. Full story today on BikeBound.com! ⚡️Link in Bio⚡️ https://instagr.am/p/Ck-_RdGuLqT/

[puppysherbie]

Penelope Graham

- Descriptive, MC21+, AU, OC

- Human car (2007 Volvo xc70) Will Graham's car

- SV with @Nobodys_Teacup

[ivangzama]

¡Hoy es #CivilAviationDay en 🇷🇺 #Russia marcando 💯 años de orgullosa historia!

✈️ Aviones de pasajeros icónicos soviético-rusos, pilotos de primer nivel, ex № 1 aerolíneas mundiales, grandes aeropuertos y ricas tradiciones se remontan al 9 de febrero de 1923.

❤️ #Tu104 - > #IL86 - > #SSJ 🔜 #MC21

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[stratviewresearch]

Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market Key Strategies by Top Players 2023

Major aspects that fuel the market growth are discussed in this illustrative Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market research such as prospective, driving, restraining factors, latest trends and key advancements. Newly entering key players into the marketplace will obtain huge assistance by referring this Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market study report as it carries out detailed industry study along with depicting latest developments in the industrial sectors. Significant data provided here is of huge assistance for industry players to obtain detailed assessment of the market competition for the prediction period 2023-2028. By knowing competition for the upcoming period, key players can introduce novel products into the market and obtain huge profits in the business. It further catches data about market share, market tactics and industry volume.

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This Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market research enables to target specific products into the market and enhance the revenue rate of the business. It further helps to know more about global market position in major regions of the globe such as Europe, Asia Pacific, North America, Latin America, Middle East and Africa. It further aims to provide a comprehensive presentation of the market strategies and entire market scenario. Some of the crucial factors are highlighted in this Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market report include continuously evolving consumer, buyer and vendor needs, key pricing structure, customer data, their preferences and buying attitude.

Top Players of Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market

The following are the key players in the Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market.

TriMas Corporation;

Arconic Fastening Systems;

PCC Fasteners;

Lisi Aerospace;

Stanley Black & Decker, Inc.;

Kwikbolt Limited.

Growth drivers and Market Value:

This report, from Stratview Research, studies the Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market value and growth drivers over the trend period of 2019-24. According to the report -

Blind fasteners currently represent less than 12% of the total aircraft fasteners market and projected to grow at an impressive rate over the next five years to reach US$ 698.8 million in 2024. Increasing production rates of the next-generation composite-rich aircraft A350XWB, B787, and F-35; introduction of fuel-efficient variants of the best-selling aircraft with a greater composites content: A320neo and B737 max; upcoming aircraft programs, such as C919 and MC21; increasing preference of blind fasteners for assembling critical aerospace parts; and superior benefits of blind fasteners including ease of installation over the permanent fasteners are giving an impetus to the growth of blind fasteners in the aerospace industry.

Segment Analysis:

Based on Aircraft Type:

The global aircraft blind fasteners market is segmented based on the aircraft type as commercial aircraft, regional aircraft, helicopter, military aircraft, and general Aviation. Commercial aircraft is likely to remain the growth engine of the market during the forecast period. Increasing production rates of the key programs, such as B737, B787, A350XWB, and A320 family; market entry of new players, such as COMAC and Irkut; and introduction of variants of existing and upcoming aircraft programs, such as B737 max, A320neo and B777x, are likely to create a strong demand for blind fasteners in the commercial aircraft segment. Further, Boeing in its commercial market outlook anticipated that there would be total deliveries of 42,730 commercial and regional aircraft worth US$ 6.3 trillion in the global marketplace during 2018-2037. All these factors are likely to provide sustainable demand for blind fasteners in the commercial aircraft segment in the foreseeable future.

Based on Region:

In terms of region, Europe is projected to remain the largest market for aircraft blind fasteners during the forecast period, driven by the world’s leading aircraft OEM, Airbus. The company has constantly been raising the production rates of key aircraft programs, such as A320 and A350XWB, to meet huge order backlog which stands at 7,287 jets on 30th April 2019. Airbus has a massive plan for its newly launched A350XWB program. The company is likely to raise the production rate from 6 aircraft per month in 2017 to 13 aircraft by 2019. Similarly, the company is also likely to raise the production rate of its best-selling program (A320 family including neo) from 46 aircraft per month in 2017 to 63 aircraft by 2019. The company is in process of contemplation to further raise the production rate to 70 aircraft per month in future.

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This Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market study report catches the impact of novel developments on the future market progress. There are a number of major industries already began adopting novel procedures, new headways, extensions, mergers and novel product launches to survive in the market and drive the business growth. It becomes easy for new players to rule the market and increase the product collection with this market research analysis. It focuses on major market segments. This Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market analysis is an effective tool to capture the COVID-19 impact on market developments and business growth. It also enables to explore through important insights such as latest market advancements, current market scenario, novel opportunities, challenges and market drivers.

Making sound and calculated decision for the benefit of business is important and this Aircraft Blind Fasteners Market report works as the best guide to help in this regard. It also enables to gauge through key competitors of the market and thorough analysis of the business scenario. Significant data gathered here is from interviews with leading business experts and primary research. Advanced data as well as statistics related to global market environment is also depicted in this market analysis.

Key features of the report -

Qualitative and Quantitative market research

Opportunity analysis

Market Assessment

Competitive Landscape

Industry best practices assessment

Product Research & Revenue Estimations

Market Trend Analysis

Report Customization Options

Stratview Research, one of the global market research firms, offers free customization and custom research services across the sectors. In case of any custom research requirement related to market assessment, competitive benchmarking, sourcing and procurement, target screening, and others, please send your inquiry to the team.

Email at - sales@stratviewresearch.com

Connect with the analysts at - +1-313-307-4176

[alchemyviajes]

Listo Primer MC21 ruso equivalente al A320

Listo Primer MC21 ruso equivalente al A320

Debido a el embargo mundial en materia de tecnología, la aviación civil rusa està obligada pràcticamente al país a acelerar el desarrollo de aviones y por ello ya està listo el MC21 , avión con el que Rusia pretende competir con Airbus y Boeing. El MC21 volò de Moscú a Ulyanovsk el pasado 10 de noviembre , segùn afirmò Denis Manturov, viceprimer ministro ruso, quien había confirmado en su…

[polychorus1991]

[seatsnbeats]

Foster + Partners :: MC21 - Leva for MATTIAZZI

[every-tome]

[supplyside]

Irkut MC-21

[oso-san-artchallenge]

Music Prompt: Peppermint Winter 2/2

1. @jlpaca

2. @shizzeling

3. @sugarflow

4. @the-anime-man

5. @trash-boy-trash-art

6. Frosty toes are bad

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[terakopian]

Lumix S1 and Sigma Art 105mm f1.4 DG HSM EF mount with a Sigma Mount Converter MC-21. @lumixuk @lumix @sigmauk @sigmaphoto #sigma #sigmaart #sigmaart105f14 #lumix #lumixs1 #mirrorless #bokehmonster #mountadapter #sigmamc21 #mc21 #camera #lens #cameraporn #lensporn https://www.instagram.com/p/BwKm6WCAdO_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1i0m0hs0tuixl

[scrumptiousladyrunaway]

...MAYBE VWhy is photon massless if it has energy?

Originally Answered:

How can photons have energy but no mass?

In 1905, Albert Einstein published a beautiful paper. Its title is revealing: “Does the inertia of a body depend upon its energy content?” (“Ist die Trägheit eines Körpers von seinem Energieinhalt abhängig?”)

By “inertia of a body”, Einstein of course referred to the body’s ability to resist acceleration, i.e., its inertial mass.

When a body is at rest, it has no kinetic energy. So its “energy content” is entirely intrinsic. The body’s ability to resist acceleration is determined on this intrinsic energy content: its rest mass.

When a body moves at a high rate of speed in a given frame of reference, it has plenty of kinetic energy in addition to its intrinsic energy. This is the origin of the dated, often misleading concept of “relativistic mass”, lumping intrinsic energy and kinetic energy together. Dated or not, when we wish to change the motion of a fast-moving body, we are up against both its intrinsic energy and its kinetic energy.

An ultrarelativistic body moves very, very close to the speed of light in a given reference frame, so in that reference frame, most of its energy is kinetic energy. For instance, in the Large Electron-Positron collider (LEP, predecessor of the LHC in the same tunnel on the French-Swiss border) electrons were accelerated to 0.999999999988 times the speed of light; at this speed, the kinetic energy of the electrons was more than 200,000 times their rest mass. In the reference frame of the CERN laboratory, the ability of these electrons to resist acceleration would have been determined primarily by their kinetic energy, with only a tiny contribution from their intrinsic energy. In other words, treating these electrons as though they had no rest mass at all, only kinetic energy, would have introduced only a tiny error, less than five parts in a million.

Photons represent this extreme. They not only have lots of kinetic energy compared to their rest mass; they have only kinetic energy and no rest mass (intrinsic energy).

OK, let me offer a little bit of high-school level math to go with the above.

One of the simplest formulas from relativity theory describing this is the so-called dispersion relation: E2=(mc2)2+(pc)2

. This formula relates the energy E of a body in a given reference frame to its rest mass m and its momentum p. For a body at rest, p=0, and we are left with E2=(mc2)2 or, taking the square root (which we can, since all quantities here are positive), E=mc2. Photons, as I said, are the other extreme: without rest mass, we are left with E2=(pc)2 or E=pc

.

Relativists often present the dispersion relation in a slightly rearranged form, moving p

to the left-hand side:

E2−(pc)2=(mc2)2.

The beauty of this form lies in what it reveals. The amount of energy and momentum that a body has depends on who is looking. The same vehicle that moves very fast (has lots of kinetic energy, lots of momentum) relative to me may appear to be at rest (no kinetic energy, no momentum) to you, if you are traveling alongside in another vehicle at the same speed. But the mass remains the same. That is, E

and pc depend on the observer, but mc2

does not: it is a relativistic invariant.

In fact, E

(a number) and p (a three-dimensional vector quantity) together form a four-dimensional vector, or 4-vector. Components of this vector depend on the choice of coordinate system (hence, different values for E and p for different observers) but its norm (that would be the mc2

on the right) is independent of that choice.

For a massive body with rest mass m

, we know how to calculate E and p

in relativity theory:

Ep=mc21−v2c2−−−−−−√,=mv1−v2c2−−−−−−√.

Calculating the norm, E2−(pc)2

is easy:

(mc2)21−v2c2−(mvc)21−v2c2=m2c2(c2−v2)1−v2c2=(mc2)2,

just as it should be. In the limit m→0

, the individual formulas for E and p lose meaning (they both become 0/0, or indeterminate) but the dispersion relation remains valid, leading to the relationship E=pc

for photons.

FROM QUORA......COULDNT GET NAME.......V. TOTH  (PERHAPS VICTOR)...CONTRIBUTOR.