#on MY ass for doing MY job but not the time to get on ppl abt fixing all the broken shit in our store. god i wish i could [REDACTED]
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Reading the Iliad, Book 10 thoughts
This is my first time ever reading it and I know next to nothing abt greek mythology so if I interpret anything wrong by all means pls correct me
Im reading the Robert Fagles translation
This book is short but does not lack in the entertainment department
Agamemnon can't sleep bc how can he with the war going the way it is?
So he goes out to find Nestor but as he's doing that he runs into his brother Menelaus who also cannot sleep and is doing the same thing Agamemnon is abt to do
Menelaus pitches the idea that they should send someone to spy on the Trojans. However, he's almost sure that no one is going to want to do this job bc its super dangerous
Agamemnon agrees bc the very thought of Hector is making him sweat hard asf
So they split up to gather a council. Agamemnon says he'll get Nestor and tells Menelaus to grab Ajax (Greater), Idomeneus, Meriones, and Nestor's son.
I don't think they say the name of Nestor's son in book 10 or maybe they said it in an earlier book bc I don't know who tf Nestor's son is lol
But Menelaus asks "Um where tf am I supposed to meet you after I'm done??" I really like how NO ONE clears anything up unless asked too
They decide to meet back at Agamemnon's tent
Agamemnon ends up scaring the shit out of Nestor when he enters his tent.
Nestor's like 80 you can't be scaring him like that😭
Nestor suggests they grab Dio, Ody, Ajax (Lesser), and Phyleus for this meeting too
Then Nestor starts shit-talking Menelaus out of nowhere???? LMAO😭😭
"Ur brother's so fucking lazy lol, we still need to get Ajax and Idomeneus but they're on the other side of camp." -Nestor
Why is he acting like Menelaus hasn't been pulling his weight this WHOLE time? Hello?
Then Agamemnon says "You're right as always buuut Meneluas is doing that very thing as we speak so..."
Menelaus catching strays this book ig
Odysseus gets super pissy at Nestor for waking him up so I'm going to assume he's one of those ppl who are just in a bad mood after being woken up. He doesn't seem to be a morning person at all
Nestor shouts at Diomedes to "WAKE UP." A complete 180 from how he woke up Odysseus btw
"Why are u yelling at me?" - Diomedes
After everyone is rounded up in Agamemnon's tent Nestor presents their plan in a way that really told me a lot abt his character
He's like "Hmmmm I wonder who would be willing to spy on the Trojans for us? It has its risks ofc but think of the glory he'd receive upon his return, all the gifts? All the men will ask him to their feasts" (it's a feast not the fucking prom💀)
I really like the way Nestor says it. I can just imagine having been a young man himself at one point he knows how to play into the egos of the men around him
Diomedes is the first to jump at this opportunity
But Dio says he needs a partner and everyone stands up to volunteer
But he picks Ody
Jump to the Trojan camp: Guess who had the same plan as Menelaus? Hector, they have like, the exact same plan.
Dolon who is just some ugly guy decides he'll be the Trojan spy
Both teams of spies run into each other
And Dolon starts running for his life
Diomedes and Odysseus end up catching this guy and he automatically starts crying
Ody asks him a whole bunch of questions abt their camp
Dolon is the world's worst spy bc he tells them everything and by the end he asks "You guys are going to spare my life now, right?"
And Diomedes just goes "Nah.♥️" and CUT THIS MANS HEAD CLEAN OFF
They loot his body and give the armor to Athena
Anyways they get to the Thracians who are currently asleep and Ody and Dio see that the Thracians have some nice ass horses
Diomedes kills 13 of them while they sleep, one was a king.
Once it's time to go Athena has to come down and tell Diomedes that it is time to stop and go home. (they take to horses)
Apollo watches this whole mission happen and wakes up the Trojans
Dio and Ody make it back to camp, Nestor asks where those nice ass horses and that's the end of the book
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
question for any artists who are employed full time: is the work/life (art) balance rly possible... (for You since i know it depends on the job/position/career etc)
#i wanna start looking into applying for jobs of course bc well where i am rn i dont have a good routine#so i end up not drawing all day anyway bc i cant get my ass to my desk#but i also worry Full Time employment will make my art making hobby completely inexistent#and that my art will either stagnate or improve at a snails pace from then on#i keep struggling like should i try to go all out and fulfill all my little art interests like sticker making or zine making Now before i#can no longer do it at all?#i know it takes ages to find a job but i am already prematurely getting jealous of other people who are in my current position#(ppl who do art full time) bc i wish I could continue doing that while also living Not Here.#but alas it does not pay well especially when u arent ambitious or creative with the making of things to sell#talkys#i realize this is the wrong time to ask this LOL
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
Feel free to not answer this if its too invasive but what do you do for work? how do you manage your time to still create such awesome things while working? sorry if this comes off as weird I just want to find a way to work while still having time for my art
hoo boi ok i went into the job field hellbent on getting a more heavy duty job like welding and just do art as i please and preserve my passion for it so i dont get burnt out from an art job, but bröther ive realized the hard way my body just don't have the energy to balance working my ever sweatin ass off all day and Also have the energy to draw. I used to have a factory job building coolers but the management went to pure shit, all my good coworkers got fired or quit, and i was beginning to not trust myself holding a framing gun sOOO as of rn i '''technically''' don't have a job, my patreons payin the bills (and then some praise the lorTTTT) rn plus i got that mural gig that came at the most perfect time but im currently perfecting my craft at tattooing so i can get into that field eventually 🤙 i worked my ass off and drew my ass off for a while but my lack of energy made me crash and burn so i may not be the person to give advice on that AHHAAaa
#like im currently on a tightrope having the time of my life but im just free rangin it#i was determined not to get burnt out on drawing all day from an art job but i realized i literally just want to draw all day#and the fact that i was using all of my energy working at some souless meaningless job and then i barely had the energy to draw#shit got real fucked up in the cranium thats all imma say#it almost feels illegal not having anywhere to go i deadass feel like some authority figure is gunna bust down my door 😭 i lOVE IT#like the amount of lucky circumstances that allowed me to save my own ass from myself is sooo :''')#im so glad i started up that patreon when i did cause boy is it coverin for me#i remember 2 days b4 i quit my team leader was bitching me out again In Front of Everyone makin me feel like a useless dumbass as always an#i thought to myself clear as day im either quitting or killing myself so i plotted out my financial situation and stopped showin up!!!#working at a shitty job that deteriorates your health and will replace you in a second when you die for most of your life man just kill me#all i wanna do with my life is draw n inspire other ppl w my creations bro thats iT#suicide mention
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
im the front desk lead so i get to boss front desk people around (i hate it im so bad at being authoritative) but it also means i have to make slightly passive aggressive messages in the work chat like once a month about things ive already asked them multiple times to stay on top of but its so annoying the more i tell them and the more they just Dont do it SKJSLKAD im trying so hard to make this message look like im not mad and that im not trying to be the bitchy manager type and i dont want it to sound like im talking down to them but also like its part of ur job i shouldnt be one of the only ones doing this PLUS I SHOULDNT HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING U TO DO THIS DFJLKSLDKS
#n i still do everything i preach btw im not one of those bossy shift leads that make everyone work while i just sit on my ass the whole time#(i mean i dont think itd get done if i didnt do it anyway but thats not the point HAHAHA)#i think like one other person actually listens to me JKDJSLAS i love her tho shes great#on 1 hand i dont want them to be annoyed at me (for asking them to do their job) but on the other hand IM annoyed that i have to even ask😭#because believe it or not almost everyone here gets mad when a team lead asks them to do smth instead of letting them sit on their phone lo#walking into my opening shift seeing everything look hella messy STRESSES ME OUTTTT like damn bitch u live like this HAHA#like i'll come back after 3 days of not working and its just a mess JDJFLS other ppl are like omg kat it was a disaster everythings so bad#like ?? am i like the only person actually doing shit here????? am i the glue holding this position together JSJDLSAJDSL bROOOO#ik this sounds so much like the closing shift vs opening shift 'a single dust spec? erm who closed last night🤨☝️' tiktokts but alsooooo#as someone who closes AND opens i'm allowed to say what i want HAHAA ive been on both arguments here LMFAO#like closing is supposed to make it look nice for when we open becauseeeee opening shifts START like 15-30min before we open doors#its not like opening shift can get that all done in time on top of actually getting things read to open...#whatever i'll be gone for 2 weeks lets see if it all goes up in flames HAHAHA#trials and tribulations of kats work life
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
if anyone got tips pls share with the group 🫶🫶🫶🫶
#i've had enough 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#i'm not getting paid enough to deal w these people's bullshit#just applied to 2 jobs that look solid#& those are the first 2 in WEEKS btw that didn't seem like fucking disasters#1 is mostly for the hybrid opportunity & bc they got ALL the insurances#the other is bc it's downtown montreal (<3) and a cause i'm passionate about - be great to do some MEANINGFUL work#seems like there's a shortage of *decent* job opportunities in my field lately#and idk how i'm getting less callbacks now that i HAVE experience as opposed to when i didn't ???#weird.#anyway.#i'm pissed off this week cause they're crossing my boundaries more and more here & also this garbage weather#FUCKING SNOW#FUCKING HAVING TO SHOVEL AND CLEAN MY CAR BEFORE I CAN DRIVE HOME#FIRST THE CONSTRUCTIONS AND TRAFFIC THEN IT WAS DONE I HAD 3 DAYS OF PEACE AND NOW THIS#LESS AND LESS TIME TO ACTUALLY REST AT HOME BEFORE I GOTTA COME BACK HERE AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN#MAN I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT HERE#so yea anyway 🤠😁#anybody got tips to make quick easy money? pls help. lol#i need to start my freelancing business fr fr i just don't feel like i'm creative enough to come up w something lucrative#like i'm making a little money on the side rn but it's def not enough to be a side hustle#i'm just so sick of having to apply to jobs and do interviews and sell myself and working for nasty ass people#yesterday they invited me again to their dumbass christmas party. brother i am not going to your fuckass 60+ y.o. foreign ppl dinner#there is NO one my age and EVERYONE speaks ur language that i dont understand. i'm not spending a second more than required with y'all#AND LIKE 90% OF THEM ARE MEN LIKE. EW. FUCKING EW. NO#i swear if they pressure me one more time or ask me again why i'm not going i'm gonna snap#you are NOT entitled to ANY information about me or my personal life or my reasons why i don't wanna do certain things#i'm here to GET MY MONEY and GO#i can't wait to quit.#**
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#an internship i really wanted rejected me#lollll okay#at the one hand i know rejections are part of life and i shouldnt let it get me down#the most successful people have gotten rejected so many times too in the beginning#but on the other hand yeah rejections suck ass and especially in my case#im so proud and stubborn#and i'm like okay fuck you i dont even want to work for you or do an internship anymore ever with you#while of course i was really interested in that and hoped that i would be selected. they didnt even let me do an interview#ofc 48 ppl applied for the position but okay#so the thing is. idk if i should keep trying despite the disappointment or if i should look for smth else#i mean i already kind of did something for this sort of work during my minor and i really didnt like it looooool#so yah#the job just seemed cool and has prestige and a sign of “success”
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I do this thing where I keep comparing myself and my life to other people my age who live like ‘normal lives’ where they live with just#their partner and work decent-ish paying jobs#and don’t live near family/have large family obligations#like I make slightly more than minimum wage#my health stuff had been getting worse#my fiancé is disabled/chronically ill and working her ass off so she doesn’t have excess energy#which leaves a lot of house work on me#which is fine and I don’t mind#and our household is me my fiancé my 23 yo sister and we’ve all lived together for like 3 years now and my sister makes a lot more money &#helps with house stuff#/maintenance#but my younger sister and her 9 month old moved in at the beginning of summer because her baby daddy is a scum bag#and she’s 20 and really mentally unwell#so a lot of baby care falls on me & my fiancé#along with trying to help my sister with her mental health#which is like not normal levels of unwell it’s like serious shit and she’s completely unmedicated and going through a real hard time and not#adjusting to motherhood well cause she was 19 and shouldn’t have had a baby#and like she knows that but what’s done is done#she can’t move back in with my parents because her relationship with them is too fucked#and like there’s also complicated stuff safety and bad ppl in her life so that’s a stress inducing factor#she’s unemployed and I’m not sure will ever be able to work and can’t drive#not her fault just the reality we live in#also we’re the ppl who live closest to my grandmother who’s health has been rapidly declining so a lot of that has fallen on my other sister#and me to manage#I also have to pet sit a lot because I need the money#and when I come home I have to spend all my time getting the house back in order#also I’m about to be losing a days worth of pay starting September cause the kids I nanny are doing two half days a week of prek#which means less money & with these grocery bills and two more mouths to feed is gonna fuck me in the ass#so like yeah I don’t have the time or energy for hobbies I spend all my damn free time trying to keep the house clean or taking care of#The baby & like it’s just the way it is but it’s not comprable to how all the ppl I knew in highschool r living rn
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
So so so fucking angry tonight
#mars says stuff#EVERYTHING IN MY PERSONAL LIFE IS LEGIT FINE I PROMMY#IM JUST SO SICK OF THE ZIONIST MISINFORMATION AND MILQUETOAST APATHETIC DEMOCRAT BULLSHIT THAT#I FEEL COMPLICIT IN BC I WORK FOR A RADIO STATION AND I HAVE TO PUMP OUT NEWS PROMOS#AND ITS THE ONLY JOB I HAVENT BEEN FIRED FROM#AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE RAMPANT TRANSPHOBIA AND ESPECIALLY TRANSMISOGYNY#EVERYWHERE I FUCKING GO AND TO HAVE OTHER TMASC PPL BE LIKE 'LMAO THATS NOT REAL AND IF IT IS ITS NOT THAT BAD THESE CRAZY BITCHES'#WHEN I SEE IT ONLINE AND IN PERSON EVERY FUCKING DAY AND IM NOT EVEN THE ONE IT EFFECTS#AND I TRY TO ENGAGE IN MY COMMUNITY. THERES A JUNETTENTH EVENT IM GOING TO TMR TO TRY AND SCOUT OUT SOME LOCAL ORGS#I CAN VOLUNTEER FOR TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER IN MY COMMUNITY#but tonight i just feel shitty and small and ineffectual and hypocritical and angry and cowardly#AND EVERYONES LIKE OH DEAL WITH THAT ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY THATLL HELP#MOTHERFUCKER I USE IT AS FUEL TO MAKE ART. TO PLAY MUSIC. TO TRY NOT TO FLUNK OUT OF A SCHOOL THAT I HATE BC OF THE INSTITUTIONS IT UPHOLDS#and i never have enough after my bills are paid to donate to all the gofundmes both here and in palestine i want to help out#im just so fucking mad. but im also 5'3“ and awkward and chubby and I cant fight and all of my friends tease me for it and it comes from a#place of love and im not mad at them. i just wish i could kick someones ass tonight. some fucking bigot i could put all my rage behind#and just keep hitting and hitting until the fucker stopped moving. but i cant do that. both not physically and also bc i Might Lose Everythi#ng#ill delete this tomorrow#time to watch some shitty youtube videos and eat something and get high enough that i dont feel so fucking mad#just consume my way out of it lmao
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
and it's like despite all the awful shit he's done and continues to do, like, i get it. he's employed like 24/7/365. he never got to live a life, despite spending a childhood clinging to the hope of having one someday. He knew companionship and love but lost it and can't ever get it back. His circumstances are so anomalous and gruesome that it completely isolates him from pretty much every other human being on the planet. he knows hell is real and he is basically guaranteed to go there if he can't break this demon curse thing.
like it doesn't make the kidnapping and spreading the curse around any better, but i do get it.
#like personally i don't blame him for the actual murders#and it's hard to blame him for hiring people without telling them because like lol.#anyone who's like 'oh he should just tell ppl about the demons' like what are you onnnnnn if you went to a job interview with a creepy old#guy and he started talking about demons and hauntings and shit you would think you're being pranked or that he's lost his damn mind#and fuck offffff with the 'ohhh not me im a quirky bean i'd love to take a job if the interview was like that' like sure. ok. maybe YOU wou#but what are the odds that milford in 1998 coming off the satanic panic has a thousand yous running around waiting to be hired#like i honestly dont have any suggestions for how he could have handled the hiring situation any better#now the actual JOB i have plenty of feedback#like yea he should be there to train your ass against the demons lol we got more hands-on guidance for the embalming (the non deadly part)#but like the whole 'raymond is evil cause he kills possessed ppl and hires people without telling them abt demons'#do you think that old man can run the whole mortuary by himself and also have time to teach classes#until he inevitably dies from either stress or the demons and is sent to hell (which he knows is real)?#it's my understanding that by having others around who can help him fight the demons he'll have the spare time to figure out how to#break out of the demon curse or break possession or literally any useful information that could treat the disease and not the symptoms#he is running out of time!!! he is only getting older and the demons are only getting more frequent and someday he won't be fit enough#to properly banish them!!! if you even care!!!!!!!!!#fucking tag essay lmao#mr delver i wont u...
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
About to lose my shit over my shitty Algebra teacher cause i think he’s the devil incarnate cause he doesn’t respect kid’s 504 plans, there is this kid who may not always show up to class on time for some reason im not sure why but they try their best to catch up and work hard and they asked to send over and take the recent test they missed in a certain classroom and he was like “No you cant, you have to show up tomorrow in here to take it” when literally in their 504 plan says they can take it in that room no one can force them to take it in their classroom, but DOES HE CARE??? NOOOOOO. I think he was just trying to be tough or smth god knows what cause he has a huge ass power complex like dear god dude we get it you were a army guy but is yelling at teens really what you wanna do to feel that high of power again?? The kid then complained to the school and he got a ass whooping but sadly not fired and then the next day was pissed as hell and took it out on all of us 😍
he doesn’t care to actually help students at all, he just gives up on them if they don’t understand the first or barely the second time and tells em to basically fuck off and find someone else to explain it and i get it teaching is hard you might not be able to get everyone to understand BUT ITS LITERALLY HIS GO TO RESPONSE WHEN YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SMTH IN HIS SHITTY RAPID FIRE EXPLANATION WHEN HE JUST JUMPS FROM THING TO THING WITH NO VISUAL OR EVEN SENSE CAUSE WTF HOW DID YOU GET THAT ANSWER HELLO?? SLOW DOWN?? We were going over the study guide and he started doing a question and then realized half way it was “too hard” to do on the board so he gave up and kept going to the next question and a kid at my table who didn’t do that part pf the study guide cause they dont know how asked “Can you go over that please i don’t understand it” and his response was “im not going over it just to fill it in” and the kid said “im not asking to just fill it in im asking cause I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT” and guess what. HE DIDNT DO IT HE JUST IGNORED THEM AND KEPT GOING. YOUR STUDENT IS ASKING FOR HELP AND YOU AINT DOING SHIT. HELLO??? AND THIS ISNT THE FIRST TOME HE ALWAYS PULL THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME, GOD FORBID YOU ASK A QUESTION MORE THAN ONCE THATS TOK SCARY AAAHHHHH.
I hope all his classes fails and they fire his ass cause omg there has never been anything positive said about this man that isn’t from favorites/people who already are godly at math. The average student who’s had him HATES HIM.
Im really debating like cussing him out Thursday after my final cause i cant just walk away and act like it was a okay class no he needs to get fucking humbled at least see what he does is harmful and shitty and douchey. I dont care if i get in trouble im not gonna go down like this so many kids in that class have struggled cause of his ass not doing his job. And sure some of there are rowdy and sure some are a bit off task but that doesn’t give you the right to abandon them. If i ever kicked my own bucket he would be 5 of my 13 reasons why.
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#i wish upon his downfail almost daily cause like i feel like a death wish isnt good enough thats the easy way out#i need his ass to think and contemplate what he does and reevaluate his lfie#he needs to get off his fucking imaginary throne and look at what he actually does as a teacher#i know teaching is hard and now pays next to nothing but he just doesn’t do his job and if he wants to keep it shit better start changing#there are other teachers in the same topics that do swimingly not to compare but i have to for him#they are patient they give their kids resources like idk FULL WORK ON ANSWER KEYS#that was my biggest ick with him he never posted answe keys with the work hust answers#i know he probably did it to avoid ppl cooying but also screwed over kids who need to see what went wrong with their work#also minor complaint but he used the math textbook for ‘notes’ and YOU KNOW HOW SMALL THE SPACE IS YO WRITE IN THOSE???#WHY IS ALL THE WORK IN THERE WHY DO YOU DO THIS#HE SAID HE DID WORKSHEETS LAST HEAR AND I TOOM A SUGH OF RELIF THINK WE WOULD TO BUT NAHHH HERE IS THE GIANT ASS BOOK THAT WILL GUVE YOU#BACK PAIN AND ALSO IM NOT GONNA SAY PAGE NUMBERS IMMA SAY TOPIC HEADERS#WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT#Thats also a minor complaint but i knew shit was gonna be rough when he said the chapter names and not page numbers#so much time was lost trying to find the oage in the book#also kinda important not really but there were only 5 girls in that class including me#in a room of like 19#…IM JUST SAYING#he did treat my table a little shit which was coincidently all girls#coincidence? yeah probably but ya know.#he mostly ignored the girls unless they were the 2 kids at my table cause they actual spoke up#but he ignored them too so ya know#i may be over thinking it but if he did get fired for sexism ya know i wouldn’t be surprised#school if you’re reading this know that yeah im pissed at him and yeah i do want to talk in student services i think its for the best
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ig another reason why i dont rly post that much abt aini and oso
#some ppl sometimes just get mad bc u 'mischaracterized' the canon character.#when in reality he's not really getting mischaracterized. idk im just tired of that thought#like who cares if he's doing smth a lil different from canon. im not fucking his whole character up. get a grip#same ppl who complain do the same thing prob idk it's just hypocritical atp and it makes me not wanna post abt them#like oh my god he has a job in my au so what.. plz look in the mirror. this is anime. it's okay.#idk it's fun putting a moron in sophisticated world settings. but maybe he isn't a moron 100% of the time! like he can do shit yknow#like yeah im gonna draw him doing stuff. that's not like what he does in the show..but so what.. . . hesowars tabi dame literally#all the games r aus why should it matter. idk whatever. this is kinda dumb but im tired of that corny ass shit that gets thrown around#whenever someone has fun with characters. it's an au . alternate universe. idk ehhhh#LAME ! *i throw up and sob*
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#so im thinking abt applying for retail work again gaah#student loans being back on + struggling to get comms is making me apprehensive#this is in no way shaming ppl unable to commission me nor do i think like im entitled to commissions im just saying how it is & i kno#a lot of us are struggling bc the economy is just so ass rn#im lucky tht im able to live w my parents where im not starving#but i do need money to pay for certain bills & student loans#so i guess retail it is ;-;#im just apprehensive bc 1. my last retail job absolutely obliterated my mental health#2. i feel like i wont be hired anyway bc of the 5 year gap....#mental illness isnt rly tht fun at all when trying to Live#anyways i decided to try again bc im medicated this time & according to a friend the job is less stressful#i have the application p much finished im just not hitting send bc i feel like im psyching myself out
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
yapping aimlessly tonight
#jaerambles#i just have a lot in my brain!!#anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object#i really do think it would be just aimless learning.#like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things#it feels a bit. selfish.#but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things#i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though#i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them#trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder#drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that.#i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd#i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality!#real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy#ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles#or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money#like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy#there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august#or not who i was. what i was doing.#but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn#i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job#and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong#and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow#this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭
5 notes
·
View notes