#omg they're so? sexy?

[barkskins]

@ghostlyhavnts       ↳       continued from here

bite was an understatement—milena serrano had claws. she had built herself up from nothing to a resolute and unfaltering woman; no sleazy man who had one too many drinks was going to play her for a fool. she stepped aside in tall heels to allow the stranger to intervene, glossed lips twisted into a judging smile. handsome. great ass. was that an accent she detected? milena gazed through her thick lashes, siren eyes focused and unrelenting, drinking in the details as though it trickled from a freshwater stream. "i could say the same for yourself. i hope you know that i'm not going to fall to my knees just because you got rid of the creep-a-thon. i can hold my own just fine. he was persistent, but not impossible." there wasn't much a mouthful of vodka to the eye couldn't fix. her manicured hand was lowered daintily into the palm of the stranger to shake. "milena serrano. not many men get my name for nothing, but i suppose i owe you some slack for using your big scary man privilege. honestly, this bar is full of creeps. i'm still trying to decide whether you're one of them."

[doveywovy]

tobiizu au during the early months of Konoha being established. things are awkward and extremely work-focused; hashirama encourages tobirama to at least be accepting of any attempts at friendship izuna makes, even if he can't make his own.

So when Izuna asks tobirama to help him go ringshopping their next day off, Tobirama agrees. He assumes Izuna's doing it as a matter of politeness and getting pushed into it by his own older brother, and prepares for a very awkward day with a man he barely knows.

It actually goes well- Izuna's interesting, and extremely intelligent. He can keep up with Tobirama's rambling about expirements, and provides color commentary on every person they pass. (there's an astounding amount of gossip out there because shinobi are prone to doing gossip-worthy things. It helps that nobody's gossiped with Tobirama before, so all of it is brand new info for him. Izuna takes great pleasure in his snippy remarks and Tobirama's returned cattiness.)

Izuna says surprisingly little about whoever they're getting the ring for, however. Apparently Tobirama's fingers are about the same size, and presumably they must be serious if he's ring shopping. But Izuna doesn't say much else on the topic, not even the person's tastes beyond, "Practical, which is why you're here to be a buzzkill. I have enough fashion sense to make up for their deficit and you're certainly no help there."

So there it is. Eventually Izuna settles on a silver ring, extremely thin at Tobirama's insistence, with stylized engravings that Izuna decides himself. It was a nice time, and Tobirama has to admit that Hashirama was right to push him into it. He'd like to do it again sometime, or something like it.

A week later, uchiha start to approach him to offer their congratulations.

[robo-dino-puppy]

horizon forbidden west | marshal ivvira 1/?

[sukugo]

FUCK HOW COULD I FORGET. so yesterday or the day before idk, i had this dream where apparently yuuji had a long lost older brother. (sorry choso, not u) he was basically jin's kid, and he looked very much like him and yuuji (pink hair etc). and so apparently he had been taken by this group/organization/royal family? (don't remember what exactly but it was a group of powerful-ish people) and he was basically sex entertainment. there'd be shows where he'd be made to jerk off/fuck while groups of people would watch him

and so when yuuji finds him and they meet, due to Reasons, yuuji is made to join him. and so it ends with yuuji getting fucked by him while everyone watches them

[gideonisms]

like, i know it’s widely accepted (is it canon?) that tlt characters have kiwi accents but i so clearly hear ianthe calling harrow “Harry” in an american accent, something about it makes the nickname even more annoying and obnoxious in my mind. idk if it’s because i’m american so i read in my own accent but i can’t hear harry in any other accent it just doesn’t feel as effective

I have to agree that an american accent would make ianthe more obnoxious but personally I can't read her dialogue without remembering moira quirk's narration for the audiobooks. She gives ianthe an EXTREMELY obnoxious posh british accent, and I'm very attached to it, even though as someone with a strong regional accent, I support tamsyn's make everyone sound kiwi agenda

[maddy-ferguson]

i saw someone say they were hoping noah would apologize and it's just kinda fascinating to me...if he thought zionism was sexy on monday (or i guess on sunday probably and for many days and weeks before that) why would he suddenly think it's an awful ideology on friday?

[holiestartthou]

Having a disability but not being able to get proper aid for it is the literal fucking worst. “You have X disability” my doctors tells me, but i am not disabled enough to require help bcoz obviously I am able enough to keep a job haha :)

A job that is wearing me down physically that I can’t keep up with but can’t afford to loose due to the current economy :)

A job that leaves me bed ridden on my days off and barely able to feed myself when I get home bcoz of how much fucking pain I’m in :)

A job that is making it extremely hard for me to do any of my hobbies bcoz of the physical and mental fatigue, which in turn makes my clinical depression worse :) b

A job that would do wonders for me to quit but is unfortunately the only high paying position around me and again: bills too high :)

[reinemichele]

Wait hold on

Do we count not regenerating as suicide??? Bc if we do, that means that the master has killed themself out of spite 4 times, 5 if you count the Lumiat as canon (I do), and 2 of those were simm!master and 2 of those were missy, and 4 of them were motivated by the doctor

[dafry-shenanigans]

So many things happened yesterday you have no idea

[aforgotto]

do you think they'll give us Terunosuke bc of Scary Month

[xiuhunsoo]

actually being bi just means being attracted to both the dumbest people on earth and to the most intelligent people on earth and sometimes that's the same person

[delicatetaysversion]

okay this is anime called devilman crybaby. where this guy called ryo is sent when he was a kid as a mission on earth to invade and kill everyone hes basically devil/satan. in his kid years he befriends this guy akira whos very sweet and soft and starts crying at literally every minor inconvinience (me fr) and gets overprotective of him (you know hes very VERY GAY FOR HIM). but obv ryo is on a mission and as he grows up his first task is to pick weaklings and turn them into devils who are interchangeable with human form so that they can live among other humans and slowly kill them because they have been mistreated their whole lives so obv they hate the world and would go on a genocide if given the power (hence name devilman). and guess who ryo gives this power to first?? obv his beloved his achilles to patroculous akira. so akira turns to a hot devil but hes still a senstive lil bitch so he gets the name devilman crybaby but he tries to stop ryo but ryo has a will of iron hes ready to end the world. so akira turns against ryo and ryo begs him to let him kill everyone and he will spare his life only (do you see the goddamn tension). but akira is a goodboy the hero so he fights ryo but ryo is the mighty smexy devil so he kills everyone and despite being very gae he decides to kill akira so that akira dont hinders his mission anymore. so ryo ends the world and kills akira. his mission is completed and hes lying down beside akiras dead limbless body and he then realises there is no point in winning if love doesnt survive and he cries and he cries because hes so helpless and evil won but lost again to the goodness of love and gayness and love and love and gay and

OH MY GOD oh my god oh my god oh my god ryo ends the world and then kills akira and cries over his lifeless body oh my god WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME

[asyouwish]

srsly still thinking about this like wtf .

[weareuniqueandimportant]

THAT IS TIME... MAKE US TRANSITION IMMEATEDILY THIS INSTANT. YOU'RE MY ALLY. YOU SUPPORT US. THEY'RE EVIL ENEMIES. THEY'RE AGAINST US.

[mrnnki-img]

odaxelagnia

[ariaste]

listen ok so i made some good jokes yesterday about Lestat having an onlyfans but i am back today with a new essay and this one is entitled

Why The Invention Of Social Media Is Going to Permanently Save Loustat's Fucking Marriage

come on this journey with me.

ok so on one hand we have Louis, who does not like to leave the house except when he absolutely fucking has to and even then he resents it. my man wants to be at home with a book 100% of the time and he's so fucking valid for that. When he leaves the house, bad things happen to him. He has learned this and honestly i can't fault his evidence. it sucks out there. it truly incredibly sucks out there.

the problem is that sometimes he is married to lestat, who starts clawing at the walls if people aren't paying attention to him for 12 consecutive seconds, and being Out Of The House is the best place for him to go foraging for People To Pay Attention To Him. my man once had a rock star career the way that some people get addicted to meth brewed in a trashcan in someone's garage. Louis, through no fault of his own, is simply not capable of filling this psychological need no matter how hard he tries, except he should not even HAVE to try like that, because no one can do it, because Lestat is fucked up and like wasn't hugged enough as a child or something

this imbalance in their relationship is the core source of all their marital problems since day 1: THIS man's idea of a good time is chilling on the sofa in silence and maybe staring contemplatively at the wall for a while, and THIS man starts self-destructing at a truly astonishing rate if no one is making eye contact with him. If you make Louis go outside and socialize with people, he's miserable and sulking and whining about "are we done can we go home". If you make Lestat sit in silence in a chair for five minutes he starts crying and claiming that No One Has Ever Loved Him, Ever, Ever, And No One Understands Him, And He Hates Everyone In This House and He Is Being Actively Neglected And Cruelly Mistreated Right Now And No One Even Bothers To Feel Sorry For Him, This Is BASICALLY Domestic Violence Against Him Personally, If Only Anyone Knew About The Quiet Hidden Tragedies Of An Unhappy Marriage, and then he breaks some furniture and a window and isn't seen again for six weeks and comes back like "you will not believe what just happened, i [checks notes] met Merlin and also a dragon who gave me three wishes, brb i'm going to write another book about it :))))"

all you fucking have to do to fix their problems is to hand Lestat a cellphone and say the words "do you know about social media? you can say whatever shit you want and there's always someone awake in some time zone to talk to you." Suddenly Lestat is now very interested in sitting quietly on the couch, Lounging Alluringly and posting thirst traps on instagram and finally getting emotional fulfillment from all the likes and comments of "omg???? omg this is the hottest man alive". he does not have to leave the house anymore to get his attention meth. His yawning abyss of neediness is being fulfilled by having parasocial relationships with millions of strangers online who all think he's sexy and don't have to experience how fucking awful he is up close. he can flirt pointlessly with 200 people at once which is FINALLY ENOUGH FLIRTATIONS FOR HIM TO SATISFACTORILY JUGGLE

Meanwhile Louis is 3 feet away, vaguely reflecting to himself that HE is feeling all emotionally fulfilled because they're spending this great Quality Time together in perfect silence while he reads his book and Lestat plays on his cellular telephone and only OCCASIONALLY giggles to himself or says "louis which of these photos do you think is sexier, the one with four buttons undone or the one with five buttons undone" Louis is feeling like his Opinion is being Valued, Louis feels like he is being Consulted on Matters that are Important To Lestat. He has opinions about the photographs. It is not that much trouble to be interrupted from staring philosophically at the wall to spend five seconds looking at a photograph and then saying "that one". Finally he is experiencing Cozy Domesticity. he is so horny about it. lestat is surprised and bewildered about the sudden sharp increase in the amount of sex he is now getting but before he can make any vaguely mean comments about it (bc he's confused and vaguely defensive and worried that it's going to stop out of nowhere and he doesn't know any other interpersonal skills for expressing a thought) his phone pings about how he's just broken 5 million followers on instagram and he totally forgets to even mention the sex thing, which means that he continues getting the sex instead of inciting an argument about the sex and going through his 800th divorce from Louis

all their friends are extremely confused when a whole month, and then six months, and then a year goes by without another Loud Divorce happening and no one crashing through their front door like "I HAVE TO SLEEP IN YOUR GUEST COFFIN FOR THE NEXT MONTH, HE IS INTOLERABLE". They are worried. they are concerned. what is going on over there. are they both dead. no, they can't both be dead, Lestat just posted another tiktok of him sucking on his own fingers, which he would not be doing if Louis were dead. there is an ecosystem collapse happening in the groupchat and it's because the main Drama Vectors have been neutralized