#oliver ulliva

[feymani]

“[…] ice and apathy have ways of instantly repealing all truces and resolutions signed in sunnier moments.”

André Aciman, Call Me By Your Name

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole’s rambling: In the defense of Oliver Ulliva and age gaps

Okay, first let me remind you - this is my POV on the book as a whole. Everyone has their way of understanding of what exactly happened in Call me by your name (the novel) and you don’t have to agree with everything I am about to say - WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE.

Second thing - I’m going to be using translations and page references to my copy of the book - that being the first Czech edition from the year 2018, translated by Lucie Podhorná because it varies from the OG book itself (for example, when Elio talks to Vimini, my copy says "when did he tell you?" instead of "when had he tell her?"; it's just small nuances). Also, that's why I'm referring to Oliver as ‘Oliver Ulliva’, because my copy canonically confirms this being his last name - it refers to his last name being ‘Ulliva’ a few times since Mafalda cracks his egg open.

What made me even wanna write this rant? I don’t wanna in any way talk about the author or the director, or the actors. But... Well, quite a few things - especially the statement that their relationship was predatory since the very begging (simply because Oliver is seven years older) and that it was practically a ‘consensual ra*e’ and... Listen.

1. The Age Gap

Most of these were from the American audience who viewed the movie - but let me explain why Europeans might view this relationship differently and why you might change your opinion about it as well. I am not saying Americans don't do these things as well, but from what I've seen on the forums, etc., it seems to me that European x American view on age gaps is way different.

For the sake of this statement, I interviewed 10 of my European friends - of which were mostly all Czech. Europeans do not see a problem with having a seven-year (and more) age gap between the partners - you rarely find a couple of which both are the same age; three-years being the “standard” gap.

Young people, around 17 - 19, at least in my country, are attracted to older partners for various reasons - some like the intellectual potential of their partner, some are searching for a form of certitude in an older partner having their priorities sorted out and figured out their lives and what they want to do with themselves; whether we are talking about m/m, w/m, w/w or a non-binary relationship. One of my friends told me she searches older partners solely because they feel more protected by them. It's the sense of serenity, a different feeling of connection and different understanding to your other half.

I've talked to four of my friends, who both have partners of the same age or max. 1-year gap and even they told me they absolutely can see themselves dating a partner older by minimally five years. So, it's not a controversial thing here, really.

Maybe it’s more common in here, but rarely anyone frowns upon such relationships. At the time of my first relationship, my first partner was five years older than me - and I honestly couldn’t see myself with someone my age. From my experience, the relationships and bonds have a higher probability to last longer (we had a beautiful relationship of three years), it isn’t only driven by hormonal side of things and such, the feelings can develop into something more meaningful than just simple and shallow lust. More for that matter - most of these age-gap relationships didn't end extra-bad breakups and the partners tended to continue seeing each other as friends.

When I interviewed my friends, asking them about the length of these relationships, it was never less than a year. Usually, they said that they learned a ton of new stuff about themselves and having a healthy, normal relationship than from dating someone their age. So... Yeah. I guess that personal, first-hand experience is what makes us see the relationship for its good and bad, but still assures us not to perceive the relationship as predatory.

Now, you might say that while were living in the 2020s', Call me by your name took place in 1983 - and guess what? It was written in the year 2007. Does that mean something? The answer is - no. My grandma met my grandpa in the 80s' (I asked her about this as well and they have 14 years gap; my other grandma and grandpa met at the end of 80s' and the start of 90s' and they, as well, have 8 years between them) and by this, you can see that the situation is more or less the same as it was.

For all of the above, I can see why Elio fell for Oliver so quickly. First and foremost - he mentions Oliver being older like... Three, four times in a book that has word count 76.996? Elio doesn't care about age - it's a story about two human beings falling in love. It's not trying to research the problem of age and such. Stop judging the story for the wrong reason, ffs.

2. The 'consensual ra*e' argument:

Another thing I've encountered is the audience calling the story 'consensual ra*e'... Let me elaborate and tell you why you're wrong. In America, the age of consent is 16 - 18. In Europe, we have the age of consent established at 15 (the lowest being Estonia with 14) and you are a lawful adult at 18 years old. Given that Elio was 17 in the summer and 18 in November, he was already perceived as an adult; given what were his parents like and what relationship they had to him. (Again, I am looking at the story from today's perspective since the audience did as well). He was a man at the time Oliver came to Italy, he was a man at the time he had sex with Marzia, he was a man when he had sex with Oliver and he was a man when he traveled to Rome.

Elio should be perceived as an adult who carries most of his personal responsibility on his shoulders (since you're more than partially punished for the laws you break from the age of fifteen) and if he decides that he wants to be in a sexual relationship with an older man - he can rightfully do so. Surely, the relationship had another big B U T (for some people) - homosexuality and homophobia. And from the historical standpoint, I don't wanna spend too much time over it. The LGBT movement foundation ties back to 1969; given that Italy was in the capitalistic pro-American part of Europe (Czechia was under the Communist regime at the time, so homosexuality was barbarically punished in my country), I think there wasn't a problem with a subtle, not-too-obvious gay relationship. Sure, you couldn't walk into the open and hold hands and such, but you wouldn't get you beheaded.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not an expert on Italian war history and I don't particularly know what happened with Italy after WW2, but I know that in 1985, first LGBT organization got founding from the republic and from that I assume the situation, especially if it would be a subtle relationship, wouldn't be as bad.

In the story, it is hinted that both Sami and Anella were aware of the whole relationship - I mean, come on. Sami knew (since he had the big speech about being corrupted at the age of thirty, ("I think he's better than me, dad".; "And I am sure he would say the same about you, which both of you makes seem like good people." - Call me by your name, page 221)) and Anella perfectly knew at least in the movie - I mean, the car-ride home? Oh, she knew very well and she even told Marzia at the dinner, IMO.

Now tell me why would the relationship be a consensual ra*e? Because it is not bent to accommodate American laws? Because it not an ordinary every-day relationship? In which way is it ra*e? At the age of 17, you are taken as A D U L T who has their responsibilities to fulfil, at least here in Europe.

3. Oliver didn't love Elio as much as Elio loved Oliver:

... What? I mean... What?

Sure, you are seeing the whole story from Elio's eyes and for that, you are more likely to take Elio's side in this matter. In the end, it was Oliver who was getting married, right? And he was the first one to reach out, right? Well... It was a both-sided thing. At the first few pages, Elio says “"Do you want to look at them? "Not now, maybe later." Polite indifference, as if he noticed my out of place zealous effort to make him like me as he pushed me away briskly."; page 12 and on page 18, Elio states "We started - he must've seen the hints way sooner than I did - to flirt.", let alone that Elio describes that probably, Oliver visited his room while he was asleep.

I can see where the opinion that Elio loved Oliver more could've come from - he was young, hasty and captivated by the entirety of Oliver. Since we see the story by his side, Oliver can seem to be the less active out of the two. But trust me, he loved him the same amount, if not more. This was confirmed by both Sami and Vimini -

Page 92, a conversation between Elio and Vimini, Oliver went to the sea with Anchise:

"Do you know where Oliver is?" "I don't know. I thought he went fishing with Anchise." "With Anchise? He's crazy! He almost killed himself the last time!" No response. She was looking at the sun slowly setting down. "You like him, don't you?" "Yes," I responded. "He likes you too. More than you do - I think." You really think so? - No, Oliver does. - When did he tell you? - Not too long ago.

and page 220, when Sami and Elio talk about their trip to Rome:

"Oliver may be very intelligent—," I began. Once again, the disingenuous rise intonation announced a damning but hanging invisibly between us. Anything not to let my father lead me any further down this road. “Intelligent? He was more than intelligent. What you two had had everything and nothing to do with intelligence. He was good, and you were both lucky to have found each other, because you too are good."

Which obviously shows that both of the people who are indirectly watching the relationship between Elio and Oliver blossom in front of their very eyes are aware that both were very much in love. And Vimini, even if she said 'Oliver does think he loves Elio more', she could see that these two are very much attracted to each other. She was spending a lot of time with Oliver throughout his stay in Italy and she was beyond intelligent - these two were an incapable pair idiots compared to her.

So, no, Oliver doesn't love Elio more; he's just not being as childish about it as Elio is. Once more, the age gap is tying into this topic; while Oliver has his 'hot-headed' days, he already went through the phase of being obsessed by someone (or at least the phase being obsessed and letting the surroundings know). He is slightly more mature than Elio, so he just doesn't let himself go that easily.

And I think that he maybe suffers from internalized homophobia - page 224, Oliver talks with Elio as he comes back for Christmas:

"You should leave then. They (Elio's parents) know about us." "I figured so," he responded. "How?" "By the way your father spoke. You're lucky. My father would have me carted me off to a correctional facility."

In this short piece of dialogue, you can see that Oliver's father isn't okay with LGBT (not too much to wonder about, the American society was different than it is now, it wasn't a safe space for queers). And it's plausible that if Oliver had listened to this as he grew up, he got scared when his mind and body reacted to Elio in this way. We can see that for Elio, he lets go for some time; as they sleep in the 2nd part of the book and visit Rome together in the 3rd part of the book. He tried to overcome the fear and simply because he was in love with the boy, he did overcome it.

But you can see the broken shell (which was tore down in Italy) slowly getting together as Oliver gets back to the USA. He, once more, is under the pressure of American society who is not LGBT friendly at the time, his own father would've never supported his decisions regarding his love life, it could cost him his academic career... And for all of these reasons, it was more logical for Oliver to get married. It was his way of putting order back into his life; it was his way of being good as he says Elio.

So, yeah. Here you have it. Oliver was in love, the relationship could benefit both parties and it wasn't a consensual ra*e, thank you very much.

[greasywall]

somewhere in northern italy - t.c

----------------------

request by @notyouraveragedumbwhore

warnings: none, just some fluff.

a/n: this is my first imagine. i tried, ok?

----------------------

You we’re ecstatic when Timmy told you he had booked a role where he would be acting alongside Armie Hammer, but a little less excited when he told you that he would be shooting all the way in Italy.

“It’s only for a few months (y/n), we’ll be fine. I’ll call you everyday, and you can come visit me every few weeks.” Timmy said, bringing you in for a hug. You rested your head on his chest and sighed.

“What if I just come with you?” You said, looking up at him. He broke out into a smile.

“That, would be great,” he said and hugged you tighter. 

----------------------

About a month had passed and you and Timmy decided to go to Crema a few weeks before filming would begin. 

“I’ve never been to Italy before,” You told him as the two of you were being driven to the hotel where you were staying.

“Then we can explore it together,” He said, looking at you lovingly. You reached out for his hand and he took it and you put your head on his shoulder and sighed.

“What should we do first?” You asked, and as if on command, your stomach growled. Timmy chucked.

“How about we get something to eat,” you smiled and nodded.

“That sounds like a good idea,”

After the you and Timothee ate, it was already dark so you decided to walk around town and take everything in.

“It’s so beautiful here.” You said, taking in the view.

“Just like you...” Timmy answered. You rolled your eyes and smiled. The two of you walked around, Timmy told you about the movie, you told him how excited you were for him and how great it was going to be.

“I’m so proud of you, Timmy.” You stated, looking up to him. He smiled and put his arm around your waist. “You’re chasing your dream and you’re actually succeeding,”

“I’m flattered (y/n).” He joked.

“No, seriously. I admire you. You’re gonna be in a movie with the Armie Hammer for gods sake!” He pulled you to his chest and hugged you tight.

“I love you so much (y/n),” he said softly.

“I love you too.” You replied. “I could stay in this moment forever.

“Me too, but lets go back.” Timmy said pullling you towards the direction of the hotel.

“What, why?” You whined, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“I’m tired,” He said tugging at your arm.

“Okay, okay,” You said giggling. These next few months were going to be great.

----------------------

A couple weeks had passed, Timothee hd spent a lot of time out with the locals learning italian and adapting to the location. Today was the day when they would start filming. A week ago Armie made it to Crema and the three of you instantly clicked, joking around, spending nights out and overall just having a good time, but now it was time to work.

“You jealous (y/n)?” Armie asked you one day, jokingly. You choked on your coffee once you processed the question.

“Of who?” You asked genuinely.

“Of me, of course. Who else?” Armie said. You burst out laughing.

“Oh yeah,” you said sarcastically. “Especially when he grabbed your dick. That really got to me” You both started laughing when Timmy came over to the both of you.

“What’s so funny?” Timmy asked, grabbing some coffee.

“(y/n) was just telling me how jealous she was of me. Something about you grabbing my dick and me being hotter than her... I don’t know.” He joked. Timmy chucked.

“You have nothing to worry about (y/n).” He said and kissed you. You shot Armie a cocky smile and winked at him.

“Oh! That reminds me.” You exclaimed, pulling your phone out of your back pocket and opening youtube. “Have you seen this?” On the screen was a video of Timothee in high school rapping about statistics.

“(y/n)! You traitor!” Timmy said, putting his hand over his mouth.

“Oh my god this is too good,” Armie said laughing. Timmy’s cheeks turned a bright red. “I’m definitely talking about this in every press interview we go to.”

“It’s ok Timmy, I still love you.” You said kissing him. He rolled his eyes and laughed, kissing you back.

[darkkziggy]

Cor Cordium

[tvandmoviesplusgifs]

Call Me By Your Name novel

Firstly, I have to say that I read the book after watching the movie and that made me appreciate the movie more. As with every adaptation, they couldn't have put everything in the movie, but I think the important parts were there. The ending is different, but apparently the director is already thinking of a continuation to follow them x years after (a la the ending of the novel, which means it could take many and many years for the 20 years later to happen).

The book is very much a raw stream of conscience and I don’t believe for a second that Elio is a reliable narrator. So, we can only see the Oliver he wants us to see in each moment. It would be interesting to see the story from Oliver’s perspective and how different would it be.

There is only one piece of the story that is better in the movie, and I’m sorry if anyone really likes this part, but I think The San Clement Syndrome is boring AF. I’ve read online that they skipped Rome because it would be extremely expensive with the locations and all those actors needed.

Since I watched the movie first, I visualized Armie and Timothée in the story as I was reading, and they are great choices. But Michael Stuhlbarg is 100% the embodiment of Elio’s dad.

I’ve seen a debate online regarding the ending and whether Oliver is ashamed of what happened or if he just chose to play it as something that was good but that happened in another life. Obviously, it’s all trough Elio’s eyes so the conclusion is only a matter of opinion (I think Oliver cares about Elio and is not ashamed, but their “romance” happened 20 years ago, but I don’t think it really matters). Take for example a extremely famous Brazilian book called Dom Casmurro, by Machado de Assis. The book was published in 1900 and there is a big debate regarding whether or not the main character’s wife cheated on him ever since. But the book has an unreliable narrator, so we’ll never have an official answer.

[ifnotlaterwhen]

“Perhaps we were friends first and lovers second. But then perhaps this is what lovers are.” // André Aciman

[soul-senses]

“Não invejo sua dor. Mas invejo sua dor.”

“Non invidio il dolore in sé. Ma te lo invidio, questo dolore.”

I remember everything.

[sheisraging]

Sunday Six, February 14

In which I have to re-write a lot of things from first to third person. Anyway, this is an E/O AU where lots of language related hijinx ensue...

Oliver smiles happily at the soft, accented voice. Then he flails. “Shit, uh,” he points to his chest again, “Ahh-lee-ver.”

“Si,” the guy grins broadly this time, eyes sparkling with amusement. He stands up and pokes his finger to the center of Oliver’s chest, “Ulliva.”

“Ye—uh, si,” Oliver whispers, then nods excitedly and wonders how to get him to say it again.

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

Can you recommend any old/new stories on Ao3? Elio/Oliver and Charmie are both cool 😊

I adore the writings of D12fan especially Scandals, Public and Private (Charmie AU) and All the Shades of Gray (Elio/Oliver AU), Master of None by Ulliva (Charmie AU) and the After the Silence series by @mypinkcactus (Elio/Oliver AU)

I'm sure there are more but these are the ones that come to mind right now 🥰

[thelostnymphaeum]

Sick and twisted, and very, very sad.

Entry: 001

// Literature & Film //

Book: Call Me By Your Name

Author: André Aciman

Year: 2007

Movie: Call Me By Your Name

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Year: 2017

———

The film “Call Me By Your Name” caused ripples when it came out; that I remember, but was hesitant to see the movie, primarily because it was an area of love that I have never dabbled in, hence, there was no interest on my side to see it. But after being a fond spectator of Timothée Chalamet’s works (and the way he pleaded on Jimmy Fallon to watch the movie), I decided to go see it. And upon watching it, I believe it’s probably one of the best love stories to be ever brought to life on film.

Elio and Oliver.

It was a love story about Elio and Oliver.

And I have been crying for three days now upon finishing the book.

SOULMATES & PARALLEL LIVES

“We had the stars, you and I. And this is given once only.”

And by calling each other by their names, it meant that they were one and the same. You are me and I am you. Parce que c’etait lui, parce que c’etoit moi.

The greatest love stories are the ones that are most tragic. Maybe because pain only makes it more hopeful — or perhaps, more humane and divine at the same time.

The concept of parallel lives in the story deeply touched me. It is not always with our soulmates that we end up with, but somewhere, in a parallel universe, our love story can continue with them. Maybe the author wrote it to give a sense of hope. If you think about it, how many people has sacrificed their feelings because life tends to get in the way? Being with the one you choose isn’t necessarily the easiest path to take. That is why when we see someone getting married and we see their love, we congratulate them and we cry at weddings. Because those are rare. And very few get the chance to experience them.

The sting of young love is never easy to heal or to mend. In Elio’s mind, who was he, a teenage boy in Italy, have nothing to offer him, have nothing to give him, and there’s nothing he can do about it. Oliver had a life of his own before meeting him and would continue to live on once summer is over. He was an accomplished man with a career, can he turn his back on all of that because he fell in love with a young man during the summer? Life is not just black and white, choices are not easy to make, and mayhaps, there are cases when love is not the remedy.

ELIO & OLIVER

One of my favorite aspect of the story was how stark the contrast was between Elio and Oliver in handling heartbreak and lost love. Elio loved a certain version of Oliver, the one he first met somewhere in Italy, the first man he ever loved, the one whom he sought so hard for when he was seventeen. He tried so hard to preserve that Oliver, and he was not willing to taint it with reality. He held on to it throughout the years, maybe because he felt that it was the only way to allow their love to live on, or perhaps he felt marooned by him when he left that summer. He did not try to reach him when they fell out of touch. That is why in the book, he describes themselves as much as “unreal and spectral” because it seemed so far away, and so hopeless.

“Over the years I'd lodged him in the permanent past, my pluperfect lover, put him on ice, stuffed him with memories and mothballs like a hunted ornament confabulating with the ghost of all my evenings. I'd dust him off from time to time and then put him back on the mantelpiece. He no longer belonged to earth or to life. All I was likely to discover at this point wasn't just how distant were the paths we'd taken, it was the measure of loss that was going to strike me--a loss I didn't mind thinking about in abstract terms but which would hurt when stared at in the face, the way nostalgia hurts long after we've stopped thinking of things we lost and may never have cared for.”

On the other hand, Oliver continued on loving Elio even after that summer. When Elio visited him fifteen years later, he was surprised on how much Oliver kept track of his career. He kept the postcard from his bedroom in the office for everyone to see. He invited him to meet his family. He tried to incorporate his own Elio to the “real life” he has now. In the movie, it was said by Oliver:

“The meaning of the river flowing is not that all things are changing so that we cannot encounter them twice, but that some things stay the same only by changing.”

He can only continue to love him if he accepted all the changes that come along in their lives. He’d rather have a piece of Elio in him than none at all. He did not preserve him the way that Elio did with him, he tried to integrate him into his current now. The continuation of their lives apart was not because they must not meet again, but because their love can only grow through that way.

They never said the three cursed words in the book. It was Oliver who spoke of it in the most beautiful way in the end, while they were having dinner fifteen years later; and it was this line that made me sob like a lunatic.

“Cor cordium. Heart of hearts. I’ve never said anything truer to anyone in my life.”

It ripped my heart into pieces. It was the unveiling of the very fact that Oliver never forgot, he always carried Elio in his life throughout the years, because he did not just love him, he was his heart of hearts. In the book he says, “Whatever happens between us, Elio, I just want you to know. Don’t ever say you didn’t know.” Oliver’s character came off as dismissive and aloof which drove Elio towards him and made him ballistic at the same time. And when he finally says that to him, fifteen years later, all of Elio’s uncertainties and anxieties of what he meant to Oliver were washed away. It was then he knew. It was then he knew it was always true - and is continuing to be true. Oliver may have his own life now, he may love his wife, he may love his kids, but his love for Elio transcends all, even if they may be apart.

I think I’m more of an Elio than an Oliver. Because I’m young, petty and immature - just kidding / or not. Don’t judge Elio too harshly please, he was young and naive (and full of raging hormones during the summer).

FILM SENTIMENTS

I absolutely loved the movie. Timothée Chalamet is the greatest actor of his generation and his performance in this film deserved him his Oscar nomination. He did a lot of improv while filming which made the scenes look more fluid and natural. So much talent. Armie Hammer was the perfect person to be the movie star “Ulliva”. There was undeniable chemistry between the two of them. Luca did such a wonderful job as well, the film came out as beautiful, romantic and artistic that showed a love so endearing that I was not able to move on from watching it for about a month (last time I felt this was with “Titanic”). James Ivory, the screenwriter, deserved his Academy Award for this; you’re never too old to reach your dreams indeed.

No matter what happens, we will always have that summer in northern Italy.

————

Zwischen Immer und Nie.

Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/album/7K0x1O9gqMQlDwbMkyCCIM?si=2TDMTF8XRIKHq_lUc-mXqQ

[mysteryoflovemyway]

For my first couple viewings, I could never figure out what Oliver was clipping onto his trunks in this scene. I kept thinking it was a flip phone (which obviously it couldn’t be) and when I finally realized it was his sunglasses I was like WOW I’M DUMB (he looks so good in those sunglasses?????)

Call Me by Your Name (2017) dir. Luca Guadagnino

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Vibe for the entirety of Oliver's part in Find me:

[ao3feed-cmbyn]

Ulliva Vineyards

by Erato_Muse

While trying to salvage their failing marriage by starting a vineyard, Oliver and his wife Claire travel to Italy to the Perlmans' vineyard. Oliver meets Elio, the rebellious, principled, jaded and well meaning son of the Perlman family. As they get to know each other, Elio's honesty and passion uncover sides of Oliver he has been trying to hide, and the dark side of the Perlman vineyard.

Words: 17725, Chapters: 5/8, Language: English

Fandoms: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me By Your Name (2017)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Elio Perlman, Oliver (Call Me by Your Name), Vimini (Call Me By Your Name), Samuel Perlman, Annella Perlman, Marzia (Call Me By Your Name), Chiara (Call Me By Your Name)

Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman

Additional Tags: Complete, Bittersweet Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Emotional Roller Coaster, Secrets, Confessions, Socially Conscious Elio, Unhappily Married Oliver, Modern Era, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Migrant Labor, Human Trafficking, Wine Industry, Unrequited Love

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020055

[ao3feed-elioxoliver]

Ulliva Vineyards

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2EFR11Z

by Erato_Muse

Oliver and his wife inherit a Virginia vineyard, and travel to Northern Italy to learn about viticulture at Perlman Vineyards in the small town of Crema. Their son, Elio, is gay and relatively at ease with his sexuality. Oliver is gay, closeted, secretly hooking up with strangers, and haunted by the memory of his abusive father. Falling for Elio brings Oliver to a crossroads between his past, and his future.

Words: 13807, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman, Call Me By Your Name (2017)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Oliver (Call Me by Your Name), Elio Perlman, Marzia (Call Me By Your Name), Annella Perlman, Samuel Perlman, Anchise (Call Me By Your Name), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman

Additional Tags: vineyards, Refugees, Migrant Labor, The Discreet Charms of the Bourgeosie, Elio is 18

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2EFR11Z

[mysteryoflovemyway]

Later Still

EDIT!! This story is now available to read on AO3!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/13805952/chapters/31743279 Another CMBYN fan fiction on the tumblr… 

If anyone reads this and likes it, I will post more. This first post is mainly to see if anyone else is even interested, as I keep writing on it but have no one to read it but myself. Please comment or message me with feedback so I know if I should post more! This is purely for entertainment purposes, as I love this film and novel so much :) 

SOOO ANYWAY 

This Call Me By Your Name fic is set in the summer after the film (and most of the novel) takes place. Oliver has brought his fiancé to meet The Perlmans, without Elio’s knowledge that they were coming. Oliver and Elio have spoken only a few times since that phone call over winter break. Elio has graduated high school and is spending his last summer with his parents back at the villa before he starts college. Oliver’s re-entrance into Elio’s life - along with that of his fiancé, Jenny - complicates things. 

***Not everything is canon, of course! I expanded on things that happened in the film (that did not happen in the novel), and vice versa. I also made up things, added things, etc etc etc. This is fan fiction, obviously, so I changed things to be the way I wanted it. ALSO I am in no way trying to replicate André Aciman’s fantastic writing as that cannot be done - I am simply trying to recreate the atmosphere of the film and novel using my own writing style and insight into the characters created by Aciman, and brought to life so perfectly by Timothée Chalamet, Armie Hammer, and the rest of the cast. 

Read on for the first snippet!

SOMEWHERE IN NORTHERN ITALY, SUMMER 1984 

He wasn’t supposed to come back. 

Not this soon, which was really not soon enough. Which was a year too long. He wasn’t supposed to come back, though I ached for the day his tan skin, his blue eyes, his worn espadrilles were standing in front me again. 

They were back, so suddenly and so differently, accompanied by pale freckled arms, brown eyes, and thick braided sandals. Her lips were pink and her hair was dark and wild, and the ring on her finger silenced me immediately as she offered her hand. I looked at him when she introduced herself with a simple name that I wished were mine, just so he might say it everyday the way he used to say his own. The way I used to say mine.

“Oliver never stops talking about this place,” she says now, eyes bright and alive. He stares at me from behind, through his sunglasses, and I am forced to smile back at her like I don’t have ten thousand words to say to him on the tip of my tongue. Like it hasn’t been an entire year since I’ve seen him. Like it hasn’t been six months since they’ve been engaged. Like my entire world isn’t in shambles beneath his radiant blue sky. 

I glance around, hoping maybe something might call for me, to beckon me away, to summon me to another hell that might be slightly cooler than this one. Instead, she leans back into him, her head on his chest as if she is the only one to ever do that. She has no idea how badly I want to insist that she not touch him, not speak to him, not do anything that he and I once did. How could someone else have him so obviously when he was mine so insatiably only a year before, and years and years after? How could he always be mine in theory, and yet be someone else’s in real existence?

Finally, he nudges her away so he can sit down at the table. I watch him take off his sunglasses and look at me, killing me further with each passing second. 

“Won’t you give me a grand tour, Elio?” she asks. She sits down next to him and I stand two feet away, fighting anger. The clouds have masked the sun but I’m drowning in his heat. “I’d love to explore after we eat.”

“Oliver knows his way around,” I hear myself saying, barely looking at him. His name comes out in a whisper. I hadn’t uttered it aloud in weeks. 

“Not as well as you, I bet. Come with us,” she maintains then, glancing back at him. She smiles again—genuine, unknowing. I stare at her lips for several seconds in silence, thinking of Oliver kissing them, thinking of Oliver touching them and beyond. 

“Surely you’re not busy,” Oliver adds and it’s not even a question. I notice that he isn’t looking at me, not like how he used to. Now he looks at me like we’ve only briefly met before. It kills me a little bit more each time I dare a peek and soak up more of his sun. 

“Jen has heard enough of my local commentary—you know much more than me.”

And yet, I know nothing at all.

“I’m dying to see the orchard. Oliver has missed it, haven’t you?” She reaches back and catches his chin in her palm, sharing something between them that I’ll never have again. “You should just hear the way he raves about his ‘favorite summer on the Italian Riviera’.”

Don’t tell me that, I want to say. Don’t tell me things I know better than you ever will. Don’t parade his being around in front of me, his essence, his everything that you get to be with everyday. Don’t taunt me with a him that is without me.

“Mafalda!” Oliver looks relieved when she steps into the garden with a tray of his once precious apricot juice. 

“Ulliva,” she recites in the heavy accent he probably had forgotten. “Ciao.”

“Ciao!” he says, only to me it sounds like later.

I want to bury my face in his ocean of laters. To smell his aftershave of unspoken laters. To bathe in his sweat of later, and later, and later still. 

That dreaded later. I would give every “later” from last summer to hear him say it again. To hear him hesitate before tossing it into the air between us. Every later, or blasé glance, or wave of the hand most often reserved for people he could not care less about. I’d take it all for one more time, one more sweet utterance of that damned later.

[mysteryoflovemyway]

This frickin part THAT LOOK omg it’s seriously so underrated

ARTEFACT