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mysteryoflovemyway · 4 years

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My thoughts on Armie Hammer

Consider this: A domestic abuser’s closest friends often have no idea that they are an abuser, and would describe them as a great person—a pillar of the community. Serial killers often lead double lives, hiding their violent proclivities from their wives and children. Narcissists and sociopaths are experts at blending in. They often don’t just integrate into society: they excel at charming people, are highly persuasive, and manipulative. They are frequently very successful in their careers. Danger may be the farthest thing from your mind when you encounter this person for the first time—either as a potential victim, or otherwise.

Given that the above is true, how is it honestly possible for those of you who are Armie Hammer’s fans, who have never met him IRL, to dismiss the allegations against him out of hand with such surety? I keep seeing posts about how “this is Armie,” or commentary about the Armie we know. Let’s be clear about something: if you have never met Armie, and you know him through fandom, what you know is his work product. You do not know him. Let me repeat that again. You know Armie Hammer’s work products: his interviews, his public IG posts/likes/follows, his Tweets, his movies, his promo events, all of the things he allows into the public domain. You have never spent a single evening with him, hanging out as friends. Nor have you hung out with his group of friends, or their spouses, for that matter. You have never been on a date with him, let alone married to him. You do not know him in his private life. And aren’t we all somewhat different, to a greater or lesser degree, in our private versus our public lives? Even in our private lives, don’t we all have sides of ourselves that we may not let everyone see? We may act one way in front of casual acquaintances, and another way with our closest friends. And our closest friends still don’t know what it’s like to be in an intimate relationship with us, unless they are former lovers. Point being, it is ludicrous to say that you “know” how Armie behaves in intimate relationships because you are his fan. That’s simply not possible.

The accusations against Armie, while not yet definitely proven, have all of the hallmarks of truth: times, dates, details, photos, a consistent story, and corroboration of the behavior by multiple other women who have publicly dated him. Many things that were noted to be lacking in the recent allegations against Timothee, and cited as reasons to doubt the accuser by some. Well, here we have first person testimony and proffered evidence meeting the requested standard, likely with more to come, yet many fans still doubt. I understand it’s very painful to come to terms with. I really do. CMBYN is hugely important to me and this is breaking my heart. But it’s time to question what you think you know if you trust something you’ve built in your mind, your image of who Armie is in his private life, over multiple firsthand accounts and actual, tangible evidence of such.

#this

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mysteryoflovemyway · 4 years

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