#cor cordium

[dearorpheus]

"He is not to them what he is to me," I thought: "he is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine — I am sure he is — I feel akin to him — I understand the language of his countenance and movements: [...] I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him."

— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

[blackkatmagic]

update delay

Work ate my whole face this week, so this week's Tuesday updates are going to be delayed, probably until Thursday, sorry! I'll try to get them up sooner, but they will definitely be up by the 25th.

[kirisakiss]

— hi guys!! i’ll be updating this every few days so check if you wanna know more! :)

Character profile (WIP)

“let our blood intertwine the way our love does.”

TW: Suicide mention, child abuse, neglect (?)

GENERAL INFORMATION

— KANJI: ヴァンソーン・ヒカリ

— RŌMAJI: Vanthorn Hikari

A living puppet, one of the many attempts of Karlheinz to create the perfect creature, Hikari was adopted alongside the Mukami brothers from the orphanage, but was kept locked in Rotigenberg for a long time as Karlheinz experimented with her. Lilith, he called her, his first prototype.

— ALSO KNOWN AS:

Lux Mortis (Real name) Lilith (by Karlheinz) Bitch-chan, Hypocrite-chan (by Laito) Lux (by Ruki and Azusa; her real name.) Hika-chan (by Kou) Hikari (by Yuma) Annoying woman (by Kanato)

— HER NICKNAMES FOR THE DIABOYS:

WIP

PERSONAL INFORMATION

— AGE: 18 (physically) — BIRTHDAY: January 25th — SIGN: Aquarius — STATUS: Alive — RACE: Human? / Doll? / Homunculus? / Humanoid thing? — GENDER: Female — SEXUALITY: Bisexual with no lean! — HEIGHT: 167 cm — HAIR COLOR: Brown (dyed), Bone white (natural hair color) — EYE COLOR: Turquoise — OCCUPATION: 3rd year High School Student at Ryoutei Academy — AFFILIATION: Karlheinz, Mukami Family — RELATIVES:

Karlheinz (Caretaker?)

— HOBBIES: Drawing — FAVORITE FOOD: Rice and Curry — CV: Saori Hayami

APPEARANCE

(insert an illustration i havent done yet !) WIP

PERSONALITY

WIP

HISTORY

Born to Lysandra Mortis, a woman renowned for her otherworldly beauty and rumored to possess magical powers, Hikari's early years were tainted by tragedy. 

Lysandra, a prostitute whose enchanting beauty captivated her clients, met a grim fate at the hands of one of them, leaving behind a small baby with eyes as bright as the stars. Lux, as she was named, was born into a country torn apart by conflict, and her mother’s death added to the countless casualties of the war. Her father was never in the picture; leaving her orphaned and alone at a young age. Lux was placed in an orphanage, where she endured years of neglect and hardship like the majority of children that were victims of the war. 

Lux inherited her mother’s rare beauty, which captivated those around her. She was considered a beautiful child, with bright turquoise eyes resembling gemstones and ivory, long wavy hair, decorated with a pale, almost doll like skin; which made her stand out among the multitude of children. 

Thanks to this, Hikari was given nice treatments, she was given beautiful clothes, toys, and delicious food that she had never even seen in her life; along with a room of her own that was in a better state than the others. However, her beauty became both a blessing and a curse when the orphanage's caretakers, desperate to make ends meet amidst the chaos of war, started offering children up as merchandise and "entertainment" for the aristocrats in the country. 

Lux was one of the first children to be offered, and she quickly became one of the most popular among the aristocracy to use. She quickly gained fame by being compared to her mother, some of them called her“little Mortis”, directly comparing them. They enjoyed seeing the bruises form in her skin, and the contrast the scarlet of her blood made against the white of her hair. 

Her innocence was ripped from her without a warning, leaving behind scars that ran deeper than the surface ones showed. 

Hikari’s only comfort was a small group of kids she met through Kou, a bright child that approached her one day in the aristocrat-filled clubs, a victim of the same fate she had endured. 

One day, a tall man with white hair, arrived at the orphanage, promising hope and happiness to Lux and her friends. Karlheinz was his name. He took Lux and four boys to the demon world, where Lux would see her best friends for the last time. 

Waking up in an unfamiliar room, Lux found herself alone with Karlheinz, who revealed they were in Rotigenberg, her new home. Karlheinz, aware of Lux's potential from her mother's stories, began experimenting with his magic on her. He gifted her a new heart crafted from his powerful magic, granting her abilities beyond those of a normal human. His plan was starting, and she was to be one of the first subjects.

However, as his experiments progressed, it became apparent that Lux's severe trauma rendered her unfit for the role of the perfect "Eve" he so craved. “Lilith” he called her. The original, broken one. 

Disappointed by his failed experiment, Karlheinz slowly withdrew his presence from Lux's life, leaving her alone in the tower where she had been subjected to his experiments.

The abandonment by Karlheinz, after initially showering her with attention and affection, shattered Lux's fragile state of mind. Faced with reminders of her past torment, she resorted to drastic measures to cope with her pain, including cutting off her long, silver hair that made all the memories from her childhood come back like a knife against her skin.

Years passed, and just when Lux had resigned herself to a life of solitude, Karlheinz returned with a new proposition. He presented her as a crucial component of his Adam and Eve project, a pawn in his game now started game with fate. He renamed her Hikari, meaning "light," perhaps as a cruel reminder of the beacon of hope she once represented. Desperate for a sense of belonging, Lux accepted her new identity and dyed her hair brown as a symbol of her desire to leave her painful past behind, she grew it again, but kept it shorter than it used to be in her childhood, and resorted to wearing thick chokers again. 

She had one mission, to serve as motivation for them to fulfill his plan. She was then sent to the Sakamaki mansion under the excuse of a new bride, her true motives hidden beneath a façade of compliance and obedience perfectly crafted to charm the potential "Adam"s.

RELATIONSHIPS

WIP

ABILITIES

Immortality - Hikari ceased to age due to Karlheinz's experiments, and cannot die of natural causes. Her immune system is almost perfect, so human illnesses don't really affect her, she can only die if the wounds are too much for her body to heal itself.

Faster Healing - Her body has the ability to heal from injuries at an accelerated rate. Wounds that would be dangerous to humans heal within a short moment for her.

Enhanced senses - Hikari’s senses are heightened to be more than a normal human's. She can see better, hear better, and moves with grace and agility that surpasses human limitations.

Magic - It's unknown if Hikari's talent with magic is due to Karlheinz own magic or due to her mother's supposed one; but it seems she has an easier ability to it than a common human.

ETYMOLOGY

Hikari's name is written in katakana, but can also be written in kanji as 光.

Both of her names Hikari (ヒカリ) and Lux (ルクス) mean "Light" - Lux being in Latin and Hikari in Japanese, her name just seems to be a translation unlike how the Mukami's have different original names. (Like Yuma being called Edgar and Kou Emilio).

Her last name "Vanthorn" (ヴァンソーン) comes from the word "Vanus" in Latin, which means "vain" and the English word thorn.

Her real last name, "Mortis" comes from the Latin word "Mors" which means death.

TRIVIA

WIP

[got-ticket-to-ride]

Would I be able to live without his hand?

And what if it came fiercely? What if it came and didn't let go, a sorrow that had come to stay.

We'll speak about two young men who found much happiness for a few weeks and lived the remainder of their lives dipping cotton swabs into that bowl of happiness, fearing they'd use it up.

They can never undo it, never unwrite it, never unlive it, or relive it - it's just stuck there like a vision of fireflies on a summer field toward evening that keeps saying. You could have had this instead.

Cor cordium, hearts of hearts.

You could have had this instead.

~Prose from Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman

[doriandrifting]

I’m so normal about them…anyway seventh tattoo in the books with the wizard hat 😌

heart of hearts- the innermost part of someone’s heart where their truth/secrets are held; who someone is behind their mask/armor

enough for the wise-the idea that something can be understood without any need for explanation; a hint is enough to make sense of the truth

[fructidors]

too many classes about valence electrons and not enough about how to find a really good latin phrase to write on the first pages of all your books

[li-louie]

The illustrations for "Cor cordium" by Petracore. Amazing story depicting Rosinante's growth from his early days at Headquarters to his decision to infiltrate Doflamingo's Pirates. It's sad—so sad that sometimes it's bitter to read...

(But the last chapter is something.... very special 💔💔💔💔💔 Please don't overlook it!)

[breakonthroough]

I finally drew a new mini-comic about a very kind sad boy and his pet.

I must say it was inspired by the author Petracore and her amazing heratbreaking story about Rocinante and his youth years.

I really liked the idea that Sengoku got his white goat owing to this cute boy and his kindness.

I hope the author will not mind such a reworking of her story ❤️

[polishchuk]

“Cor cordium, heart of hearts, I’ve never said anything truer in my life to anyone.” – André Aciman, “Call Me by Your Name”

[jazzpsych]

-

“I don’t want to give this one up. It’s been mine for years.”

I own myself, he means. I own myself and no one can take that away. Fox had thought that too, once.

-

All of the credit for the inspiration, quotes, and references in this piece goes to the wonderful @blackkatmagic !

If you haven’t already read their incredible fic Cor Cordium I can’t stress how much you are missing out. This story struck such a powerful chord in me, especially as a queer person who had a long journey to find their own name. Reading a story filled with such vivid descriptions of nature, fascinating mystery, sharp humor, and soft moments, was such a genuine pleasure.

I wish I had enough hours in the day to draw all the inspiration I get from reading their works, but for now I will do my best to fulfill it one page at a time.

Thank you so much Blackkat for sharing your writing with us!!

[dearorpheus]

"In reading [metaphysical poetry], I discovered the poem of which I read you what is unfortunately a very inadequate translation. It is called Love. I learnt it by heart. Often, at the culminating point of a violent headache, I make myself say it over, concentrating all my attention upon it and clinging with all my soul to the tenderness it enshrines. I used to think I was merely reciting a beautiful poem, but without my knowing it the recitation had the virtue of a prayer."

— Simone Weil, Waiting for God

[blackkatmagic]

update delay

One of my cats passed away last night, and while I'm going to try to finish this week's chapter of Cor Cordium, it needs a level of humor I just can't manage right now. If I can't get it together today, I'm going to take the week, and next Tuesday updates will resume as normal.

[kirisakiss]

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

── Vanthorn Hikari : character sheet.

「 それが私の正体？ただの人形？」

「 Is that what I am? Just a doll? 」

A seemingly perfect girl sent to the Sakamaki Mansion by Karlheinz. Her mission and motives are unknown.

CV: Saori Hayami

A living puppet, one of the many attempts of Karlheinz to create the perfect creature, Hikari was adopted alongside the Mukami brothers from the orphanage, but was kept locked in Rotigenberg for a long time as Karlheinz experimented with her.

Lilith, he called her, his first prototype.

All credits to @equinox-86 for this amazing template! ♡

[mariaand22]

It's this what people felt in medieval times? Not eve an hour in and I'm already desperate enough to go to Nyah! or Wattpad.

Also terrible timing, @blackkatmagic just updated Cor Cordium

[doriandrifting]

Y’all I got an impulsive Byler tattoo today 😭 I have a “Cor Cordium” tattoo which means “Heart of Hearts”like the expression “in your heart of hearts”. I’ve always wanted a heart tattoo above it, and I found out the phrase has some significance to Mary Shelley, miss mother of science fiction so I was like omg let me just get the shield with the heart and crown like from Will’s painting and Ahhh I love it so much, pictures to come when it’s actually healed ✨

[andguesswhat]

Tagged by @whole-other-layer

Last song: Stromae - L'enfer

Favorite color: Petrol or Yves Klein blue

Currently watching: This is going to hurt (so good, with Ben Wishaw and the portrayal of queer I'm looking for)

Sweet/spicy/savoury: yeah, just that: sweet/spicy/savoury, like the fireworks in Remy's head when he eats cheese WITH strawberry.

Relationship status: none of your fucking business

Current obsession: the guys in my head who do things and the question why you do things you know aren't good for you and you do them anyway.

Last thing you googled: soft launch boyfriend (lol).

Tagging... oh, I don't know, how about @stmonkeys @lo20 @laurenjane1990 and @timmysneck ?

Thanks for tagging me @whole-other-layer

But I have to ask! Your addition "even though they appear to be a hardcore charmie"? What does that mean? That you don't like hardcore charmies? In any case, I have to admit I’m not overly fond of being called hardcore (maybe cor cordium fits better 😉). Hardcore sounds to me like someone who needs to be right, and I don’t need that. I don't NEED them to be together, I don't care who they go to bed with, I don't need (more) proof. I don't HOPE they are together, I just hope that they HAVE each other when times are difficult for them. I don't KNOW if I'm right, but after everything I've read and seen about gays in Hollywood (Leo!) or in the music industry (Harry!) or in soccer (Ronaldo!), after all the tons of quotes we've gotten from people in Hollywood saying that "Hollywood treats gays poorly" (Udo Kier) to "You're a slave to Warner Bros, they can do whatever they want" (Burton), after all the PR machinery that all my mutual friends so skilfully expose on a daily basis, in the end, unfortunately, Timmy looks to me like a reflection of just that. Because they do exit in Hollywood, queer actors.  

And boy, these days I wish he was straight as fuck so I wouldn't have to worry about him, but with all the clowning going on around him, I just don't see it.

So him spending his life with Armie is just the most likely and plausible thing TO ME from everything I've seen. Everything else is always LESS plausible to me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And if it IS true, then they would have an incomparably beautiful love story that is incomparably tragic just because they're queer, and I want to support them with all my queer heart and desire for equal rights.

They don't have to be together for the rest of their lives and now, after all these years of heart eyes, they might just be another boring couple like any other. But if they had the chance to show themselves without regrets, if they didn't have to do this shit anymore, I can't wait for them to smile and feel free and have their second spring, and after everything they've been through, I think they fucking well deserve it.

That doesn't mean I agree with what Timmy is doing at the moment, and I thank you for your input because I have something to say to him about it as well to make my point. But to that later 😉

And if this isn't clear from what I wrote: I’m fully ok with people don’t believing in them.

Sorry for this answer you didn't ask for, but no one has ever told me I'm hardcore 🙃 PS: I love Tori Amos too ☺️