#older sketch and very messy but i think i still like it

[zeyan]

horsey :]

[404deus]

Used to be a big fan of your old art style. Initially I was excited to see you return back to drawing, but the art deprovement is real… You lost the appeal in your old art style, it used to be charming with the messy sketch lines and special effects. Now it’s just janky and strangely neat in a revolting way. It’s Always sad to see artists that are not young anymore just getting worse at their craft as they grow older. Shame. You fell off big time. Your old art used to get so much more attention, and now with your “new art style” it’s just crumbs of what you used to have.

hmm… i think it’s ok to prefer my older art style, my style is always changing n growing in different directions ! sometimes it might not be the way that clicks w u anymore, and that’s ok. i wanna take some time to share my art journey with u anon, not looking to change ur mind but i thought it’d be interesting to go down memory lane and my thought processes — gonna be under a read more since this will b a long post

my art journey has been a long one for me… i have been drawing since i was a dumb teenager and man did i struggle with finding a style back then. this was my art when i was 17-19, it wasn’t anything consistent bc it was just me practicing the styles of the artists i looked up to at that time. i rmb feeling insecure bc i felt that my art skill was so ass compared to much younger artists in the fandom at that point of time, but i told myself to just continue trying my best n eventually i’ll figure out an art style i could call my own

when i was 20-22, i got into the OMORI fandom and i loved the art style so much. most of my art style transitioning then was very heavily referenced off the official game art. it’s the art that most people loved the most, as you mentioned! i’m still very fond of it looking back at it, and it’ll always hold a dear place in my heart :]

i stopped drawing for a year or so when i was 22-24, i did try to come back once but it didn’t last long. i was going through a very rough patch in my life (bad breakup, transitioning to adulthood, health issues) and i genuinely thought abt quitting art. i was getting alot of my art stolen and resold on platforms like temu, aliexpress n there was nothing i could do about it, i felt extremely frustrated and helpless u__u i also went thru a huge identity crisis and felt a lot of imposter syndrome for getting attention for my art when it felt like i was just ripping off the game’s art style. i was constantly consumed and overwhelmed by numbers and engagement as my account grew, i felt bad for drawing anything that wasn’t OMORI because its the fandom that helped me grow a following in the first place. everything combined, i felt very burnt out and my mental health was dropping steadily; i slowly stopped finding joy in art and gradually stopped drawing entirely.

i recently turned 25 and i did miss creating art after being on such a long art hiatus, so i decided to return and come back with a new sense of direction and determination to follow thru w it. i wanted to just stop caring abt numbers and not let it consume me entirely like it did in the past. i wanted to draw and create art for fandoms that inspired me and that i enjoyed, not limiting myself to just one fandom. OMORI will always be one of my art muses and i will continue to create pieces every so often relating to it — but i also want to be able to draw for other interests too!

i may not receive the same enthusiasm and following that i used to have, and my current art style may not appeal to my old audience and that’s ok!! i know my art improvement isn’t the fastest, i’m a very slow learner. i’m taking my own time and pace to enjoy my creative processes and i’m learning to love art and creating again, that’s what matters more to me than some arbitrary numbers.

i hope that provides some insight about my art journey! also, 25 isn’t that old. i’ll let u know when i start turning to dust or something so u can contribute to an urn for me 😌✊

[raindropren]

Some Hermit(+rats) sketches(+Plus the rambles I'm required to write about them)!

going from the ones I like the most to the ones that look more like doodles then sketches lolsie

A Joel! I wanted to try my hand at a S!10 Joel! I've been watching him for quite abit now and He's become one of my favorite hermits(an unsurprisingly long list ngl) :3 Also I found the Animator PerryRata a bit ago and I love how skrunkly they draw everyone, especially Joel, lol. I also have a ton of Joel headcanons from back during empires! He's made of clay and he can form his own body like you would a clay sculpture :D It's my headcanon for why his physical body changes without the use of outside "mods" He's also just a funky silly guy, and I really like how I drew this. Also the tanuki headcanons really fun, to me it's more, raccoon, but it can be either at this point :P

A Jevin! I'll admit I haven't watched him much, but I really wanted to try my hand at drawing a slime character who actually,,, like,,, looks like slime,,, instead of,,, really human with slime bits, lol. I also had a certain body type in mind so ya! I have few headcanons for him but I've thought alittle about how his slime body would work in my AU, so that's fun!

A Non-Hermit! A Garbage Rat Oli! Specifically season 2 Rats tho, lol! I very clearly just wanted to try my hand at drawing a rat on two legs, Garbage's very all over the place in the sketch. The lines are messy and that was kinda on purpose(Garbage whole look and personality is messy and I wanted to kinda,,, feel that in the art and design,, lol) also I was completely going from memory at some points :p

A non-hermit! A Rat Shubble! I don't remember what her like, thing was(like the titles most rats seem to have) but I do know she's lovely and I missed her. I was at my sister house, taking a break from craving pumpkins, and thought about the fact that Oli thought she,,, turned into,, a pumpkin, so I decided to draw her lol! I was trying to keep her cuter then Oli, alittle more put together, and I think I conveyed that at least alittle bit, :3 (also her outfits are so easy, Shubble please never change your outfits from the sweater + overall combo, Complicated outfits are my downfall LOL /lh)

A Etho! This was probably one of the better Etho sketches I did while trying to figure out what the hell his design's deal was ;w; I was having a very hard time but I think the eyes saved it on this one, it looks cute compared to some others! lol! also I gave him a little braid for no reason other then "cute!" lolsie

A second Joel! Secret life specially! I just wanted to draw him in a hoodie, I like drawing hoodies :] I'll make a slightly more complicated design later, but I like how he's just, in a hoodie, that season lol

A second Jevin! Frogger time!!! :O It's Jevin in that frog costume(drawn from memory instead of actually looking so it probably looks really wrong lol) I just really wanted to draw him again :]

A Gem! I was drawing newer peeps so I drew gem as like, a easier thing to doodle :'3 Also I had forgotten her hair buns in past sketches,,, oops

A Pearl! This ones much older than the others(as in, It's on the same page as the meme's with Pearl and Tim Drake lol), I just didn't find it good enough to post sadly ;w; It's a first try at Postmaster Pearl, from memory of course xP She's very cute but I don't think I tried even slightly on this one. you can tell cause I forgot a surprising amount.

and, Lastly, two more Etho's! I think these are cute, I'm just not proud of them at all, might not even look like Etho! but I still like them more then some of the others on that page,,,, They're silly, but not very good ;w;

Welp! That's it! I've been basically collecting my mcyt doodles to post, cause I don't deem a sketch or two alone, good enough to post :'] A hand full amount of doodles is enough for me tho, lol.

I'm real glad I've been expanding the number of hermits i've drawn tho! Yippeee!!

[suffarustuffaru]

Looking at your past art has me really loving your drag king Natsumi, do you have any more thoughts on them? I'd love to hear them. Also just your genderbend ideas in general. They are very interesting!

for future reference, here is where i drew some drag king natsumi + sapphic ottosuba :) i definitely plan on making more genderbend au content in the future thats for sure! :o i have another older art post on this here also (i am. too lazy to find it rn but its there somewhere!!) but i have some in depth thoughts about fembaru for sure yes :3 ty for finding my genderbend ideas interesting!! :D !! id be happy to talk about them more :o

im gonna start with outward design stuff / gender presentation first!! :D bc in my head, afab subaru probably looks almost exactly the same. in general, canon subaru’s most likely at least a little androgynous (and i think he probably is judging off of how much he passes as the opposite sex!!), and we know hes got his dad’s spiky black hair and his mom’s mean eyes and general facial shape, has a long torso, that sort of thing, so i think afab subaru would look similar :o

plus i like to treat fembaru as basically just the mirror/foil/inverse of canon amab subaru anyway, so yep natsumi schwartz is gonna be her male persona!! canon amab subaru was mistaken as a girl when he was a child, and he also went to high school (iirc it was high school but at the very least he was about the same age he is during arc 1) for three days as natsumi yes and passed for three days. iirc he would put on the girl’s uniform and wig and stuff on the way to school and out of his parents’ view and then put on the male uniform and take off the wig before he got home!! plus you know he’d generally practice makeup most likely and wig styling and all sorts of things in private.

so definitely afab subaru is doing similar stuff but in the opposite direction now—looking more masc and presenting as a boy. while amab subaru can put on and take off a wig, in my head, afab subaru would probably have to have shorter hair. so one day she just got a haircut thats short enough to where she could style it masculinely but longer enough to where it could still be kinda considered feminine enough!!

im not 100% sure how to draw her hair yet but in my earlier post and a few of my sketches it kinda looks like either a long mullet/wolfcut or a messy bob :3 i think you could probably say that her hair looks more like a wacky bob when shes more feminine and a wolfcut when shes styling it more masculinely?

(^^ my take on fem wrathbaru is here also LMAO)

i also base my fembaru design off of canon natsumi!! with the side bang (though i sometimes draw it on the wrong side akdnd)!! meanwhile fembaru’s male natsumi would have canon amab subaru’s hair :) (which you can see in my earlier post as well!!)

(i like this illustration actually <3)

i also like to hc that on top of subaru wanting to look and act more like his dad in canon, he did also kinda want to resemble his mom when hes presenting more femininely :o also for genderbend aus it depends on whether you ONLY want to genderbend subaru or if you wanna genderbend everyone along with subaru too, that sort of thing. i like to play with both possibilities :o

but in general, i like the idea of subaru either way trying to honor both her mom and dad. maybe to subaru her mom is what an ideal woman should be perhaps, and her dad is the ideal man, bc subarus parents are her biggest role models, so she tries to emulate both at different points in her life. she tries to be the perfect soft sweet girl like her mom and it doesnt work. she leans into being a bit of a delinquent and it doesnt work. then she cuts her hair and learns to present more masculinely and tries to copy her dad only to fail again. :((( then she gets isekaied……

i feel like afab subaru might get a bit more shit for getting into trouble too :(( or for being too loud. shes not very traditionally ladylike, i think!! boys will be boys and of course your daughter takes after you, kenichi, but dont you think shes a little too rough around the edges now?

anyway otherwise in general, i also like the idea that over the course of each arc in the fantasy world, subaru grows her hair out!! and once its long enough she can put it into a ponytail like her mom again :,)))

(male rem is here too <3)

also i like to give fembaru the maid dress instead of the butler outfit!!! probably not with the garter and stuff but 😭😭 its a pretty dress and fembaru should get to express herself both masculinely and femininely :3 in my head, i think subaru would be shy bc AGHH THIS DRESS IS SO REVEALING THERES NO WAY ID LOOK GOOD IN THIS IM NOT PRETTY AT ALL and rem and ram (genderbent or not) are probably like nonsense just try the dress. its your uniform to work here. and subaru does and huhhhh. maybe i dont look half bad ? :,) (bc of course subaru’s insecurities either present themselves the same or slightly different when genderbended). and of course when rem and ram warm up to subaru eventually ram can be like “you dont look as bad as i thought youd look” or something and rem can be like “subaru-kun youre very beautiful anyways!!!! <3”

and also i do think subaru would cut her hair a bit again or style it different for natsumi adventures later in arc 7 <3 just to have that symmetry again. the situation probably might go a little different but yep this is how id handle it 👍

and of course you can give subaru the canon natsumi hair bow sometimes when shes feeling fancy :3

OKAY and now im gonna talk about more character stuff!! lets talk about subarus whole thing with isekai and genre savviness and all that.

one of canon subaru’s many many Many parts making him up as a character and making up his story in general is a deconstruction of the isekai genre!! power fantasy and characters being cardboard cutouts for the male mc to triumph without a struggle—that sort of thing. but afab subaru is a female lead now, and female isekai is different.

id have to do way more research into this and watch more female isekai and shoujo and stuff (ive been Really wanting to watch im in love with the villainess…… someday i will…..). buuut from what ive noticed so far it seems like for male lead isekai the fantasy here is the Power and Prestige, but female lead isekai’s fantasy seems to be the Romance!! not that you cant have OP abilities in female lead isekais and not that every isekai is 100% the same of course. but that seems to be the common tropes from what ive seen so far? male isekai protags have girls throwing themselves at him as trophies, female lead isekais have their male romantic interests and the evil evil villainesses are defeated somehow and perfectly out of the way <3 the fantasy is that youll be loved by The One—the perfect boy(s) <3

and i think amab subaru is less likely to check out much female lead isekai but i think itd be fun if afab subaru would probably focus on female lead isekai but also a bit on male lead isekai as well!! she wants that absolute path to glory AND love. (and ahahhahahaha please ignore the gazillion ikemen anime figurines in her room hahahahahhahhahahahah AND DEFINITELY IGNORE THE SILVER HAIRED ONES. ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL FIGURINE SHE HAS THATS BEEN GATHERING DUST UNDER HER BED—)

but also bc i think amab subarus more likely to go nah i wont look at girly media while maybe afab subarus like godddddddd i want instant OP abilitiessssssssssss and godddddddd i want hot girls around m—WHAT. WHAT. WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT—

anyway so subaru gets isekaied and shes like SWEEETTT A NEW BEGINNING AWAY FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS HAHAHAHAHA IM THE ISEKAI PROTAG!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! (is about to get her shit rocked). and shes like ooooh do i have any abilities (nope) and oooohhhhhh shit do i have a villainess. AM I THE VILLAINESS???? no way right. anyway lol wheres the ikemen who’ll ill marry one day. the ikemen that falls in love….. with a commoner……… like myself teehee… and they get married…… and the villainess is CONQUERED….

anyway so what im saying is. ………….fembaru is a femcel. AND a pick me. AND a disaster bisexual. you could practically imagine a vine boom after each of those.

i think the biggest most important to me with genderbend aus is keeping the humanity of the characters the same the best i can!! and fembaru is STILL subaru, of course shes fucking cringe!! of course shes got a heart of gold but its under layers of cringe!!! of course shes a nerd who doesnt have any friends at first and trips and stumbles through all the shit being thrown her way!!

also if male subaru is bi then so is fem subaru okay. we’re equal opportunity here. and also amab subaru has issues with his masculinity and uhhhh slight things with women (see: his boob comments in season 1…….. subaru i love you but cmon man). so. afab subaru i think has got a terrible case of internalized misogyny / homophobia / PROBABLY SOME COMPHET TOO LMFAO 😭😭

i think general plot beats (whether its only genderbending subaru or genderbending everyone) goes mostly the same but again, slight differences. im gonna go with only subaru being genderbent atm bc thatd have more differences i think :o

yes ok so subaru’s gonna see reinhard and go GASPPP oh my god. pretty ikemen. ohhhhhh oughhhhh hes so pretty. hes clearly main lead material… ohhhh what do i do ive never talked to people in so long and hes so PRETTY FUUUCKKKKK BUT I DONT WANNA BOTHER HIM EITHER AND PUT HIM IN DANGER. um um um um mmumimimm HE CLOSED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US TOO???? what the hell what the fuck what the fuck shit shit um think THINK SUBARU THINK YOU HAVE CHARM RIGHT?? YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN CHARM A HOT GUY. ARGGHHH— *explodes*

but also subaru sees emilia and gets that “do i wanna be her or be with her” feeling 😭😭 bc emilias so….. cute…. pretty… and NICE TOO?? WITH A FUN PERSONALITY??? SHIT SHES GOT EVERYTHING!! she went out of her way to save me 🥺🥺 and im just dragging her down 😔😔 BUT FUCKKKK I HATEEEE HOW GOOD SHE IS. and then :,)))) theyre both dying in the warehouse… and the first time subaru feels the touch of another girl in a more intimate light is her and emilia holding hands as they die…………….

SO YEAH THEN SUBARU RBDS :,,)))) so like. do you get what im saying. emisuba and remsuba and satella are subaru’s first sapphic heartbreaks and heartaches. muahahaha!!!! insert more evil laughter here!!!! bc since subarus a girl her relationships with emisuba and remsuba are definitely gonna be perceived (both by other people and rem emilia subaru) more so as friendships first and foremost.

so….. subarus getting the codependent homoerotic teenage friendship bright and early HAH. but i cannot blame her!! i too would go insane if i was put in a new unfamiliar world and i met this cute girl i was both jealous of and a little into and then we both died and the last thing i felt was searing pain and her soft fingertips!!! i too would go insane if i thought this maid was my friend but then she tortured me and—and—

but yeah you know how amab subaru has his whole weird complex bromances with reinhard and julius and otto?? now itll be like that but with emilia (the julius and reinhard…) and rem (the otto….). emilias the girl subaru’s having “do i wanna be her or be with her” weird rivalry shit with (subaru’s internalized misogyny probably also adding to this bc Obviously theyre rivals) and rem’s the girl who brutally betrays subaru personally (worlds worst homoerotic teenage friendship breakup of all time 😭😭) but then she later becomes subaru’s loyal best friend???? crazy shit.

and like emilia and rem are totaaally villainesses in subaru’s way (except emilias sweet af and misjudged by the entire world and subaru doesnt have the heart to fight rem and also shes chugging copium and trying not to think about failed loops. or about her gay feelings). toxic yuri is toxic yuri-ing. subaru doesnt wanna be explicit about it….. emilia isnt sure of her feelings other than stuff like caring a lot abt subaru… and rem is. Rem. so theyre all in gay situationship limbo HAH.

also as an afab person too rip subaru for also having periods while the whole world is ending on repeat 😭😭 LMFAOO. im sure theres medieval fantasy remedies though (and rem is 1000% spoiling subaru on her period)

also no one can tell me that echidna and rem WOULDNT still be into subaru as much as they are in canon. subaru regardless of gender fascinates echidna and her greed. subaru regardless of gender is someone rem will grow very very attached to. and if anything, rem would get way more bold with afab subaru.

bc the thing with female relationships is that i feel like theres a higher level of intimacy that you gotta go to for it to be considered more romantic or homoerotic. with guys it could be like holding hands and other people might be like WOAH THATS GAY, but if girls do the same thing its like aww youre such good friends. i think rem would take advantage of her and subaru being the same sex and she’d probably keep trying like “hey um um wanna cuddle together?? in the same bed?? and bathe together teehee?? i can help do your hair and dress you up? and make lots of cute dresses for you ? :) <3 🥰 and i can even massage your bo—I MEAN YOUR BACK. YOUR BACK!!” or it’ll be like. rem gets a little too happy that her and subaru’s periods get synced up or something 😭😭 shes Not Normal (and unfortunately subarus probably a little too into that)

also unfortunately the other time a girl touched subaru intimately was satella squeezing her heart :(((( and hahahah between that and rem and emilia and later echidna…. ohhhh poor subaru and her terrible toxic yuri 😭😭 her sapphic experiences and experiences with women have not been 1000% great.

but also of course subaru is so very not normal. you have the canon typical “lol every memory is a good one <3 even rem torturing me teehee <33” and also i just think itd be funny if you as an audience is lead to believe subarus jealous of emilia and rem’s boob sizes and no. no shes just gay. shes GAY.

and stuff like everything going on with julius and otto gets recharacterized too. bc subarus a girl and the guys are guys its probably gonna get perceived more both in and out of universe in a more. Quite Literally Straightforward light. esp bc subaru’s still gonna be into reinhard and julius lbr HAH.

i want arc 3 to still be an absolute fucking disaster with fembaru. let fembaru be flawed and ugly!!!! so in my au thoughts here itd be like. subaru feels jealous and threatened by lots of people. emilia, though its subsided a bit after becoming friends and after learning a bit more abt emilia as a person. but also i think subaru could feel so so jealous of the royal candidates!! esp crusch priscilla anastasia even though subaru will 1000% think theyre bitches at first during arc 3. bc theyre such strong determined women who seem way more confident than subaru herself is…. and also im sure there’ll be complex thoughts from her on felix too bc crossdressing… gender presentation… is a complex thing for subaru.

and subaru with julius is like. “get away from emilia!!!! shes mine!!! shes MY best friend that im homoerotically codependent on and obsessive of!!!! and also youre just trying to steal reinhard’s ikemen male lead spot huh!!!!! bastard!!!! (i hate that youre so pretty too)” and everything of course blows up in subaru’s face. im sure at some point in the story subaru might get slutshamed for having all these connections to people and romantic threads (especially since shes afab) but also its like. wow shes such a stupid girl lol causing a racket.

and uh being a man beating up a girl looks a little worse due to gender roles and stuff but lot of the knights are still gonna want to go after subaru and julius is still gonna want to save subaru. :,,)))) arc 3 emisuba breakup….. worlds worst sapphic breakup of all time…. and later rem will be the one that got away also :(((((

but yeah i think in general this subaru’s connections would be a little more. subtexty with the girls bc she’d be more hesitant to be explicit. but a bit more explicit with the guys bc itll be easily perceived as romantic in and out of universe. and of course subaru i think will be flustered in different ways between the girls vs guys—with the girls its OHH GOD I CANT BE GAY I CANT BE GAY NOOOOO I HAVE A RIVALRY!!! IM SO JEALOUS OF THEM!! BUT. BUT I LIKE THEM!! OHH GOD. with the guys its OH NO. GOOD LOOKING GUYS???? FML. FML!!!!! WHERES MY MAIN CHARACTER CHARM??? HOW DO I TALK TO GUYS???? JULIUS STOP MAKING FUNNOF ME!!! >:(((

also brief note on otto bc things are probably gonna go different here qkdnd. like i definitely am of course of the opinion that otto fell in love with subaru. in every damn arc in every damn main route otto side content hes getting unhinged over subaru in a way that i think makes a little less sense if you dont view it as otto just Not Being Normal About Subaru in a perhaps vaguely homoerotic way. Possibly? Maybe? Schrodinger's relationship blues.

but subarus afab now!! and ottos still a guy!!! and reinhard and julius are friendly with subaru right, but at around arc 4 things they dont show explicit romantic interest. (i think arc 5-6+ julisuba and juliemisuba would be 👀👀👀 though.) but otto?? in a universe where subaru is a girl??? well now its more acceptable for him to be grow openly head over heels for subaru. but also its probably also more pathetic bc now its probably gonna be more obviously taken by others as otto having a Romantic crush on subaru. regardless of whatever otto's feelings are.

and subarus had her arc 3 development right. but here its like. you wanted a male character who’d fall in love with you and be loyal to you and do Anything for you???? here you go!!! but also given otto is Like That and gets worse by arc 7-8 i think hes gonna seem a bit more sinister. not that canon otto with canon subaru isnt sinister but theres different connotations to male otto paired with female subaru. bc it sort of follows straight dark romance rules, right, with the cunning possessive male love interest and the female protagonist…

i doubt anything explicit would go on between otto and subaru in an au like this bc 1. otto and his avoidant attachment LMFAO and 2. subaru and her issues also and 3. subaru in main route is Not as into otto to the same extent or degree otto is HAH.

and fembarus probably like. i think itd be funny if she was a little disappointed otto wasnt a girl 😭😭😭 but then later hes weird about crossdressing and shes like why dont you wanna do it huh 👁👁👁👁 why are you weird about it 👁👁👁👁 im staring at your glass closet right now—

and also its like. “WHY ARE YOU THE FIRST BOY TO ACTUALLY BE IN LOVE WITH ME WHAT???” which i think is hilarious but i also think it could be fascinating in terms of playing with gender!! bc otto may want to be in control of things, but hes also so subservient to subaru anyway. otto and subaru are both androgynous; otto can pass as a girl and subaru can pass as a boy. if you wanna simplify things further you could also explain this as—otto is a man who looks like a woman who’s pledged his servitude to a woman who looks like a man. very intriguing imo!!

but of course ottosuba power dynamics are Always shifting over and over like a game of tug of war, but the most common thing is that otto will bow his head to subaru but under the surface ottos trying to be in charge. that sort of thing!! and the idea of male otto servicing female subaru is an idea rezero ao3 seems to like also but :,) lets just say its not fully to my taste haha :,,))

and otto is definitely not gonna beat up subaru’s ass so easily this time around bc itd look so bad and he’d know that lmfao 😭😭

but i think theres a lot of potential to play around with gender roles and such with all of these dynamics!! im very passionate about making my genderbend au ideas as wild and layered as possible :o !!

this is all my main ideas atm (and id love to draw stuff like more drag king natsumi or fem reinsuba :) ) but yes i hope this all makes sense :D !! thanks for reading this far and thanks for the ask!!

[larissa-the-scribe]

Terrarium Lights

Part 1 of 3 for @inklings-challenge

An older lady befriends and adopts a ghost she found in her garden

Next part >>here

Michael Goffrey bid his wife farewell as he left for his next shipping job, and Gail Goffrey was once again faced with the fact that her house was cavernously empty.

She had expected the house to feel empty after her children grew up and moved on with their lives; that was the sort of thing one always heard about from the mothers and wives left behind. However, everyone seemed to stress the loneliness—not the rather more intense boredom.

Gail had always preferred quiet and alone time, so she did not take issue with the solitude. However, though she still had to cook and mend and clean and tidy and all the other tasks, it was one thing to do so for six people and quite another, shorter thing to do so for two. It was even less of a thing to do so for one, since Michael had been promoted to first mate and now had to accompany the airships personally, no longer simply loading and unloading at the cloudends as he once did.

Empty and meaningless. That’s what it felt like. With her family, she had people to help and care for. With just herself, she felt as though she were wasting time walking in circles for no other purpose than to exist.

She made it to the second day without any significant issue.

She was out tending to the herb garden when it happened—a bug wandered in front of her. That shouldn’t have been a problem. Bugs were some of her favorite creatures. But after the first smile, it hit her that she hadn't seen a new kind of one in months—this one already had three sketches in her notebook.

She’d run out of garden bugs to document.

Bugs, of all things. Bugs were everywhere, bugs had never-ending variations, bugs were constant. And she’d run out of them.

Stabbing the trowel into the earth perilously close to the offending bug, she sat back on her heels and looked up at the sky.

"Well, Lord, I reckon you put me on your good Earth for a reason. And I don't think it was just to sketch bugs." She smoothed her apron out, flicking bits of dirt off of it. "I also doubt I'm done with what I'm supposed to do down here, otherwise I wouldn't be here. But if you don't mind me saying, I'm awfully bored of where I am, though I do love my house and my husband and my town quite fierce. But I have all the time in the world, and I'd like to do good with it, if I could. So if you could show me what to do where I can—give me eyes to see as who I can do good towards—then I would appreciate it mightily."

Gail had prayed similar prayers before, with varying regularity. She knew the good Lord had heard her, as he always did. And if he answered with more solitude and time and boredom, then she supposed that was where she was meant to be for the moment. But she dearly hoped there might be something new this time.

So, really, she shouldn't have been surprised to see someone under the loquat tree. But then again, it had been raining since before dawn, so no one in their right mind would have been outdoors. She should know, since she herself had been out gathering moss for terrariums and hadn't heard a breath from anyone all day, even near the city.

Her first impression was that the lad was quite young. Younger than her youngest, in fact, who had not too long ago started her career as a professor at the nearby university. Looked perhaps like he could be one of her students. Very slight of build, as though he needed to eat more, and small looking as he sat hunched in the rain and letting the wet drip down his messy hair, full of loose ends that had gotten free from his ponytail.

Gail stood at the edge of her garden for a moment, resting her pail of moss against the stone border as she observed him.

He didn't move, just sat there with his face turned towards the soil, and didn't seem to see her. Part of his shoulder seemed stained, perhaps with mud. With the house not a few feet to the left, she wondered if he'd tried to knock and not gotten an answer, what with her out and about.

Well, unexpected or not, there was really only one thing to do.

Gripping her pail handle resolutely, Gail marched her way through the garden paths and stood in front of him. He shifted at the sound of her approach, turning his face up towards her—his eyes were pale, as if someone had sketched them on and not bothered with paint. What's more, up closer, the brownish stain on his shoulder looked rather like dried blood.

He tilted his head, as if trying to tell where the sound had come from.

"Well then," she said after a long moment of trying to figure out what to say, "who might you be?"

"Oh." He looked more directly at her, and somehow the eyes looked a bit more colored in, like they remembered they could be brown. "Dreadfully sorry, ma'am. I seem to have gotten lost in the rain. I hope you don't mind me taking a few moments here under your tree?"

He hadn't answered the question, but he seemed more surprised than shifty. "Not at all. Unpleasant weather to be lost in, for sure. If you'd like, you can wait it out under a roof."

"Oh," he said again, and looked to his left; this time it seemed like he understood what he was seeing. "I suppose that would be nicer."

"Well, you're welcome to my roof, if you’d like," she said. She wondered how long he would take her up on that.

He awkwardly stumbled to his feet before she could offer her hand. "That's very kind of you, ma'am."

"Would you like anything to eat?" She went ahead and led the way to the kitchen door.

He hummed thoughtfully. "Thank you ma’am, but I don't think I'm hungry."

She didn't think he would be, but, well, it wasn't like she had experience with this. Which concerned her—she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. At least he didn't seem to be wicked. She supposed he must need a helping hand and, while she needed to figure out what that help was, he was still just a boy; she would do him the courtesy of treating him accordingly.

The porch and floors, old and creaky since long before she and her husband and infant son had moved in decades ago, greeted them with typical fanfare as they trudged over the threshold. She dripped her way over to the stove, where she put the kettle on; it was unlikely that her visitor would want any, but she most certainly did. Setting her pail of moss by the stove to deal with later, she glanced back to see the lad standing in the middle of the space, staring up at the roof.

Gail wondered if he noticed that he wasn't wet.

"Say," she said, carefully pulling teacups out of the cupboard, "what did you say your name was?"

He looked at her sharply. "I… I don't think I did."

"Hmmmm. Well, how should I call you, then?"

He stared at her.

In the background, the rain continued on.

"Should I just call you ma'am, then?" He said, smiling faintly.

Gail squinted at him. "Now then, young man, are you dodging the question deliberately, or do you just not have an answer?"

"Oh." He glanced around the kitchen, then back to her, and blanked. "Sorry, what was the question?"

Gail rested back against the counter. She picked up her glasses from where she'd left them this morning, and stuck them on, pushing the temples through her sodden mess of hair. "I was just asking what your name was."

His eyes widened. "I… don't… Didn't I answer that?"

"Not as I can recall."

"That… that was rude of me, then, wasn't it?" His eyes were still wide, and the brown was fading.

Maybe it was rude of her to keep pressing the matter. He seemed not to know. Gail pressed her glasses firmer on her nose, trying to reach some kind of decision—but whatever was going on with her guest had been set in motion.

"What is my name?" He asked, his voice rising. "I can't remember my name."

"That's alright, dear," she said, trying to distract him, calm him down. "Do you remember where you were before my garden?"

It had the opposite effect.

He stepped back, towards the door, and glanced around with eyes that no longer understood where he was. "No… I-I can't remember… where am I? Do you know my name?"

"I'm afraid I—"

The kettle shrieked into the space between them with a rush of steam.

The lad cast a wild glance in its direction, stepped backwards. Gail, startled into motion, scrambled to shut the thing off.

When she turned back, the space where he had stood was dry and empty. She and the rain and her pail of terrarium moss had been left alone again.

Next

[authorscurse]

Love Leaves Scars: New hope

[L.L.S Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [G.H Masterlist]

Warning: none

Pairing: oc!reader x Grayson Hawthorne

W.C: 1.8k

Note: FINALLY, THE FIRST CHAPTER IS RELEASED! I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter. I wanted you all to meet Verity before the boys get mentioned! It's been a while since I last created a story, so please bear with me!!! I promise to try and update faster next time😔

As a child, I was never doted on. So clearly, being independent and acting older despite such a young age would become the result of it. "No Rosewood was once a child." My father would always say to me. Thus, living alone at the age of 18 never became a problem.

" 'Not a problem,' you say, look at this mess, Veri!" The high-pitched voice of Asnid echoes in the room. "This is not a mess, Asnid," I tell her, swatting her hand from grabbing the papers scattered on my desk. "Will you look at this place, Verity? It's a total jungle in here. I don't understand how you call this your 'ideas room'," Asnid says, crossing her arms in front of her and putting on a disapproving look.

To me, she looked hilarious. I could never take her glares seriously with how small she looked. She looked like an oompa loompa trying to prevent you from taking their precious cacao beans. No offence, Asnid.

"It's organised for me," I snickered at her. The way she rolled her eyes and scoffed in irritation caused a small laugh to pass through my lips.

"I couldn't stay here anymore, goodbye!" She huffs in defeat before stomping out the door and towards the kitchen. To be honest, the whole place is a mess. But for some unknown reason, it helps me think more. Constantly worrying about the organization is much more infuriating than having a messy place.

I clenched my eyes shut and took deep breaths to calm me down and clear my head. I grab my headphones from my desk and place them on my head. A playlist I made to help me concentrate on my work blaring in my ears. I grab my drawing pencil and my sketchpad to sketch my desired portrait, the music drowning out all the noises that would prevent me from focusing. For once, I felt calm and relaxed.

I hardly noticed the time and how late it was not until Asnid told me it was almost midnight. As soon as I peeked at my clock, I immediately realized how tired I was. Without a second thought, I gathered the materials used and secured the painting I'd be presenting to my art professor. I bid Asnid good night before retiring to my bedroom.

A sigh escaped my lips as I finally felt the relaxing comfort of my bed. I close my eyes in hopes of removing all possible thoughts that would disrupt my peaceful sleep, and with one final sigh, I let sleep envelop me in its warm, soothing embrace.

I could feel the sun peeking through my blinds and hitting my skin. The birds quietly chirp from outside. My bed felt so warm and cosy to the point that I barely even wanted to get up. I opened my eyes and allowed myself a few moments to adjust to the lighting before looking over my shoulder to check the time. 8:34.

"Verity!" As if on cue, my bedroom door flies open, revealing Asnid with her hair looking like a literal bird's nest and still in pyjamas. We both stared at each other with wide eyes. "WE'RE LATE!" We both yelled out loud. Asnid ran out and ran to her bedroom while I jumped off my bed and ran towards my bathroom. I could hear the clock ticking with every passing second, which made me even more agitated. With 15 minutes remaining, I dashed out of my bedroom and school clothes all disordered. My skirt was sideways, half of the buttons on my blouse were unbuttoned, and my tie was just messily thrown around my neck. My backpack gripped in hand, I sprinted towards my ideas room and grabbed my painting before leaving.

"Everything ready?" I asked Asnid, who was frantically fixing her hair in the mirror near the door. She nodded her head, and we both ran towards her car. "Don't go too fast, you might crash," I tell her while buckling my seat belt. She gives me a nod before driving out of the driveway.

My heart pounds against my chest. 1 minute. I run as fast as I can. My legs burn as I continue to run to the art room. I silently pray that I make it in time. "Almost there," I tell myself while panting. I ran down the hallway to the art room before one of the doors opened, and Ms Hudgins, the English professor, walked out with a cup of coffee in hand and a stack of papers in the other.

Before I could even stop myself, I collided with her. Everything felt like it was in slow-mo. Her papers and cup of coffee were thrown in the air with my canvas. She let out a scream while we both fell to the floor. I watch as Ms. Hudgin's coffee spills on the canvas and the floor.

I sat on my heel and stared at the now-ruined painting in pain. My chances of getting into Yale were ruined.

"Miss Rosewood! What were you thinking running in the halls!" Miss Hudgin's piercing voice echoes throughout the hallway. I open my mouth to answer her, to give her a valid reason, but nothing comes out. Not even a single sound. I continue to stare at my ruined painting. What am I going to tell Mr. Rivera?

After Miss Hudgings had calmed down, she only gave me a warning to not run in the halls and ordered me to clean up the mess in the hallway to which I obeyed not wanting to get into more trouble than I already was. I walked into the art room with my shoulders slouched and a blank expression.

Mr. Rivera stops midway through his sentence. From what I understood, he was explaining the result of our last project for his class. The last project that I just ruined mere moments ago. He turns his attention to me just like everyone else.

"Miss Rosewood, glad you could join us today," His voice didn't hint at any kind of sarcasm or disappointment. His usual soft and kind smile plastered on his face. Mr. Rivera had been teaching at Branford College for over 30 years now, and his experience could be seen in his features. For a 50-year-old teacher, he still looked 10 years younger. A few wrinkles adorned his face, and all of them became very evident when he smiled, which is very often.

Most teachers at his age are strict and harsh towards their students, but he was the exact opposite. He was kind and gentle towards his students, which was the reason why he was so loved by his students not only by the art majors.

"Please sit down, Miss Rosewood. Ah! Before that, may I please see your artwork?" He asked, extending his hand. My heart clenches because of this. "I'm sorry, I don't have it," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. I thought that I didn't even say it with how quiet it was.

"What did you say, dear?" He asks, lowering his head slightly to reach my height. "I don't have it," I say a little louder this time. He looks directly into my eye and gives a nod. "Stay after class, Verity. Let's worry about your project later," He instructed and gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze before allowing me to take my seat.

He goes back to talking while I take my seat. I felt uncomfortable. It felt like there were thousands of eyes looking at me right now. I hear them talking in whispers, which I try to drown out. I try not to look at any of them for fear of seeing their faces. I could just imagine it. Their faces turn into an expression that gives away their thoughts about you. Their disappointment and disgustment.

Later on, the bell rings, indicating the end of the subject. Students around me gather their things while I continue to sit in my seat, barely moving and paying attention to anything or anyone. As soon as the last student walks out the door, I stand up and walk over to Mr. Rivera. "Sir," I start, but he just raises his hand, signalling me to stop, and I do.

"What happened, Verity?" He asked, and I lowered my head in shame. I could hear the disappointment in his voice now. "You said you were almost done when I last asked you about your progress. What happened?" My lips tremble, and I fear that if I speak, the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes will all come running down my face.

"I am quite disappointed, Verity," He says. There it is. The words that I feared he would say. My heart drops to my stomach. Disappointment is an understatement. "I'm sorry," I sobbed while bringing my hand to stop the tears from flowing down but failed miserably. Mr. Rivera took a box of tissues out of his drawers and pushed them towards me, which I thankfully took. "I finished it, I promise. It's just that I woke up late, and then I crashed into Ms. Hudgins and her coffee went all over the canvas," I explained. It was hard to speak with all the sobs and hiccups that kept escaping my mouth. I bet I looked pathetic crying in front of him.

There was a moment of silence on his end. The only thing that could be heard in the room was my sniffling and the occasional hiccups. "I believe that you have finished your project in time, Miss Rosewood. Accidents are bound to happen," He comforted me. He lets out a sigh before continuing, "I am giving you the chance to prove yourself worthy of receiving the same grade I would have given you if you had passed your last project," my head jerks up at his words. "R-really?" I asked him, not believing his words. "Yes, but if you think this is some easy project, you have gravely mistaken," He adds.

"I am giving you until the end of the school year to pass a painting that answers this question, "Who are you?". If you succeed in answering this question, then you shall pass, but if not, you are to have a failed mark on your card. Do you understand me, Miss Rosewood?" I smiled and nodded, accepting his challenge. "You may leave now, Miss Rosewood. You wouldn't want to miss lunch, do you?" Mr. Rivera says. I smiled brightly at him before packing my things to leave.

Hope washed over me at the thought that I would still be able to get into Yale. I walk towards the cafeteria and eat with Asnid.

The rest of the day was all a blur to me. All that I could ever think of was what to do for my project. I wouldn't let Mr. Rivera down. Not this time.

As Asnid and I arrived at our apartment hours later. I was beyond exhausted that I faceplanted myself on the living room couch as soon as we both got in. "Hey Vers," Asnid taps on my shoulder. I hummed in response, not in the mood to lift my head from the couch.

"You got a letter,"

"From who," my voice muffled by the couch's cushion.

"Tobias Hawthorne,"

[braziliancat2015]

A kinda AU i was creating, thinking about how some YGO characters would look when they were older (didn't have a fixed age in mind while drawing, now i'm thinking this would be 10 years after DSOD, so they're 28 or 29)!

Some more information about them and some very rough bonus sketches here:

Yugi Mutou:

He is now a game designer and programmer, doing some work for some big studios like KaibaCorp and Schroender's company, but also finishing his own original project called Spherium.

He's still very well known as the King of Games, something he likes, but also makes him quite nervous, as he is working more in games than playing them due to lack of time. That being said, every time that someone has tried to challenge him to a duel to get his title, he has won.

Seto Kaiba:

Going to the afterlife kinda did a thing for his body, aging him up a little and giving him some scars, but it also helped his mental health quite a bit, getting to speak with Atem and duel him once again (he will not tell anyone who won though).

He's still grumpy and antisocial, but isn't as unwilling to meet Yugi and his friends now, especially since Mokuba is now a little too busy studying to meet him in person all that often (also the fact that he and Yugi work together a lot.)

He is still creating new Duel Disk technology at the moment, but has also created a few original games! He worked creating some VR games, and some other things that are compatible with Duel Disks.

Jonouchi Katsuya /Joey Wheeler:

With Yugi focusing more on game making, and Kaiba only participating on bigger tournaments now, Jou is pretty much the most popular duelist out there! He is probably not the best or more talented duelist in the planet, in fact he usually only gets to second or third place on tournaments, but his charisma and the way he never gives up even after losing makes him very inspirational to many.

He's still working on a few odd jobs sometimes, though now with sponsors and the fame he has, he can usually live very confortably. He finally got to help his father to pay most of the debts he had, and does not speak a lot to him nowadays (they don't hate each other, but they still have some conflict; It's messy and complicated).

He probably acts in a lot of commercials and appears in cameos in movies, those kinds of things that famous people like athletes usually do. He always sends them to his friends, with some (Tea, Tristan, Duke) laughing at at them while others (Yugi, Serenity) think they are the coolest thing ever.

[sora227]

Egoist.

COOL TAGS IG: Akitoya woooo, Ena tries her best, I hate Shinonome Dad, VBS cool, totally NOT inspired by the new-ish cover uuhhhh TW: emotional abuse, physical abuse (not graphic), depression (oh no), suicidal thoughts?

____________________ fic start! ____________________ “Dude, I’ll see ya later!”

Shinonome Akito waved to his partner, Toya. They were walking home from their practice session, and they arrived at Akito’s house. Toya reached over for a high-five, and the ginger happily slapped it. He turned around, still smiling. Staring at his house, he was feeling good enough not to go inside. I wish…

Akito felt different. No, no, this isn’t like the “I’m not like other people” things. He really isn’t something special. Hell, that’s one of the reasons he hates himself. His voice, his personality… it’s not interesting enough. He’s not good enough for anyone, especially not himself. And his parents, and his sister, his bandmates… that’s it? He’s such a fucking loser.

Back to the point. He doesn’t know what this feeling is, nor does he remember when he started feeling it. It has felt there since forever… but he knows it definitely started this year. A sinking feeling that shatters him from the inside out. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But he keeps on swallowing it, keeping it inside of him. 

Whatever. I mean, the others didn’t seem to mind. Well, maybe Toya did. But he left now.

Holding his breath, he stepped into his home, getting hit with the dull aura in it. He quietly walked around, making sure not to disrupt the one that might be there. Was his father here…? Akito checked the living room, where his dad usually was seen working on a piece. Nope. 

He sighed, untensing. Walking upstairs, he opened the door to his room. Throwing his bag inside it, he decided that he might as well visit his sister, who was probably eating her “breakfast.” He knocked on the door to Ena’s room twice, signaling that it was indeed Akito, and not their parents or something. He heard a groan, before the door clicked open. He stepped back to make space for the pouting Ena.

“Why are you here?” the older one placed her hand on her hip. Her expression was akin to one of annoyance. She was wearing a long sleeved green shirt with exposed shoulders, and black shorts. Her hair was slightly more tangled than usual. Akito was just wearing his school uniform, as today he was too lazy to change for practice. Ena looked Akito up and down, waiting for him to respond. “Well? I don’t have all day.” 

“Um…” Akito opened and closed his mouth. He never was able to like- speak. I mean, no duh he can speak. But it doesn’t feel normal to speak about his problems. It doesn’t usually come out. And if it could, it never would anyways, because of his stupid little ego and his self-deprecation. His problems don’t matter, and people would stare at him in pity… ugh, it sucks just thinking about it. Seriously!

Ena sighed. “Get in.” She seemed to understand… Akito stepped into her room. It was filled with paintings, but other than that, her room looked average. And her bed was messy. He looked at her drawing tablet. It was filled with sketches of some new animation she was working on.

“Which one’s your favorite?” He turned around, spotting Ena. He then proceeded to look around. A flower. Gray clouds. A sunset. A very twisted version of her room. All of them were great, which made him wonder why their father hated them. But the one that caught his eye was one of her bandmates she talks to on Nightcord. He knew all of them. But this one was different… they were all marionette puppets? Oh, he knew that song that they made.

“That one? I know you saw the pv, so maybe that’s why…” Ena pondered upon it. Akito never really needed to speak around Ena, she usually knew what he was thinking. Usually. Sometimes, she gets it wrong, but that normally doesn’t happen. Okay, it happens at least once every week. But still. 

Akito nodded, staring at it. Asahina-san was the one that wrote the lyrics, no? They were dark, but… they felt real. Almost as if Asahina knew how he felt… a little. And Akiyama’s outfits look pretty awesome. It’s Akito’s job to judge people’s outfits, so that compliment is a lot. Yoisaki’s music fit the tone, too. Maybe he should try writing something like that… oh, who is he kidding! He already writes like that. Hey, maybe he should show some of his songs to Ena.

Remembering Ena, he turns around. She was sitting in her chair, drawing. Akito walks over to the corner he usually goes to. He sat there in his sister’s room multiple times before. Usually to escape his dad. He eyed down an empty sketchbook. He hated it.

You see, the two siblings pretty much had switched talents. Akito is naturally talented at art, but enjoys singing more. Meanwhile, Ena has a natural talent for music, but clearly is very passionate about painting and sketching. It’s a curse to both of them. They are stuck in the game of jealousy, because what else could they feel?

Akito kept on staring at the notebook. Might as well… he grabbed a pencil from his pocket and started sketching. If there’s one thing that he and Akiyama agree on, it’s fashion design. Although Akiyama prefers cute outfits, and Shinonome more street-style, they still agree on most things. Hey, maybe he should try drawing something cute and show it to them… they would be happy, although they might invade his personal space…

He starts with an oversized hoodie. Scratch scratch, the pencil lightly rasped the paper. He’s definitely going to add some charms with that. He adds some shorts. Um… what else? Akito isn’t really enjoying this right now. Maybe another day, when his motivation changes. He erases the drawing and starts again.

A regular shirt. The belt is high, and the shorts are short. He adds a little design in the front. Now, what can I do to make it look more unique? Akito looks around. Ena’s curtains are a little ripped. He thinks about that. He could make the shorts slightly ripped, but it would be too basic. Maybe the sleeves? No, too weird. The hems? Make it slightly ripped, it’s unique, and not too weird! Akito smiled, erasing the bottom of the shirt to change it.

He doesn’t remember what happens next, but 4 pages are completed, filled with outfits. He’s a little tired of that, though. Maybe a grayscale image of something? Uh, he doesn’t know… Akito closes his eyes. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Toya. It’s Toya. Why the fuck did Toya have to appear first? Akito sighs, but goes to draw the bi-colored haired boy anyways. 

Akito doesn’t know how, but the entire page is filled with Toya after seemingly 12 seconds. All. Of. It. Toya smiling, Toya writing, Toya playing some arcade game. Geez, is he that down bad? 

He already knew about his feelings for the other, so it isn’t something new. But the fact that he can draw Toya perfectly simply by thinking about him is a little concerning. 

CRASH. Akito jumped an inch in the air. Instantly looking up, he squints his eyes at the sight. Ena broke a vase, probably pissed over a drawing she made. She was breathing heavily, tears in her eyes. It stopped his creative moment. That might be selfish of him, thinking that, but it’s true. He stomped his foot, clearly angry.

“What’s wrong now? You scared the fuck outta me!” He crosses his arms. Ena looks over at him. She snarled at him. Yup, she’s in those moments again. His dad does, his sister does, and he himself has these times where they… kinda get in their feelings and lash out at whatever is nearby. Definitely not healthy.

“Why are you still here? It’s been a damn hour. Dad hasn’t been here yet, either!” Ena stood up, placing her hand on her hip, “What the hell have you been doing?” Akito rolled his eyes. This bitch… tryna tell me what to do? 

“Stuff. Why is it your business?” Akito scratched the back of his head. How was he going to leave right now? He’ll try but… “Because it’s MY ROOM!” Ena broke a pencil, trying not to break entirely down. Akito got up as well, clutching the sketchbook. She’s really in it, huh?

Upon seeing the sketchbook, Ena’s face scrunched up even more. “Why the FUCK DO YOU HAVE MY SKETCHBOOK?” Her rage practically consumed her whole as she ran towards him, snatching the sketchbook as Akito tensed. “THIS IS MINE, NOT YOURS YOU FUCKER!”

“But-” “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Ena shook Akito, causing him to feel slightly nauseous. “Are you trying to fucking SHIT ON ME?” What? He was pushed onto the wall, causing his shoulder to hurt slightly. He wasn’t shoved that badly, considering the fact that Ena barely ever went outside, but maybe it will leave a bruise.

“I WORKED. SO. FUCKING. HARD TRYING TO DRAW, BUT OUR STUPID FATHER CAN’T EVEN NOTICE THAT.” Ena threw the sketchbook across the room. “AND NOW YOU COME IN WITH YOUR LITTLE TALENTED ASS TO FUCKING TEST ME?” So that’s how she feels? “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” Ena shoved him out the door and slammed it.

He never got to see the sketchbook again.

-

Akito didn’t come out for dinner after that. He locked himself in his room for the rest of the day, and hoped it would stay that way. The entire time he was practicing, practicing, because he has to get better. Everyone he knows is talented in Vivid Bad Squad except for Akito. He knew that. Even when the other members of the squad told him he was wonderful, they were clearly lying. After all, everyone else says otherwise, right? Even his father tells him how untalented he is…

So, he must keep practicing! Even if his throat starts getting sore, he must. Then, he can catch up to the other members and help them surpass RAD WEEKEND. And if he doesn’t… Well then, he could just leave. He doesn’t want to keep holding them back. Especially Toya.

His voice cracked at one part. No, restart again. He made sure his voice was slightly softer in that part so it wouldn’t kill him. Good. He continued, making sure he hits all the high notes and does the low notes well. But he continued after that. He practiced solely on Fragile. It was a song Akito wrote about his partner. A fuckin’ love song. And yet the taller man still did not take a hint. An just patted his back when that happened.

It hurts knowing that he’s the one that’s stopping them from achieving their dreams.

Eventually, he stopped, only to get a drink of water. A small, tiny break. He chugged it, before checking his phone. Just a message from Kohane talking about the next practice session. He was going to start again, when he heard his door open. “Finally, Akito, you stopped with your racket.” Well, fuck.

He turned around to see his father, the one and only Shinonome Shinei, with his arms crossed. Akito squinted his eyes. “Why are you here?” He said, with a bit too much sass. Oh, he’s screwed. His father shook his head. “I live here, imbecile.” Oh look, now he’s using this tone too! I’m fucking dead, Akito thought.

Akito slammed his water bottle down on the counter. “Okay, but what do you want?” He turned around, trying to hide the fact he was trembling. A sign of weakness. His father sneered. “I was going to remind you again to not do what you call ‘practicing’ after 9 pm, but it seems you finally took my advice for once.” 

He better not notice I’m shaking here, Akito thought. He bit his lip, “So you came to insult me again, but decided against it ‘cause I shut up? How kind of you.” His father tightened his fist, not a good sign. “I’m not insulting you, I’m simply telling the truth. You have no talent singing. You are mediocre at best. There’s no point in chasing dreams that cannot come true.”

Akito’s lips formed a straight line as he gritted his teeth. That old hag- trying to tell me what to do? But the thing is, he wasn’t wrong. Akito wasn’t terrible at singing, no, but he was plain… nothing. He had nothing interesting in his voice, it wasn’t deep and unique like Toya’s, it wasn’t loud and accented like An’s, and it definitely wasn’t high pitched and dramatic like Kohane’s.

He’s good, but not good enough.

But he’s also very, very selfish.

“But can’t you get this in your stupid head for once? I am NOT going to back out of singing! It’s been my dream for so damn long, and I’ve… I’ve worked so hard! I CAN’T JUST BACK OUT NOW! I can’t leave my friends, unlike you I’m not shitty! Well, maybe a little, but I- I just don’t want to! I love music with my heart! And that will NEVER change!”

Shit. He blurted that out. He started mentally listing all the worst possible outcomes that will occur. Why did I do that, why did I do that, why- His father stepped closer to him, causing him to brace in preparation of what will happen next. Oh, he knows damn well what will. 

“You dare speak back to me, boy? I am your father, I know what’s best for you. Singing will just let you down because you’re not talented enough for it. Your drawings are an actual work of art, better than your sister’s! And yet, you still throw away that talent of yours!? Useless child, only good enough to talk back to his parents. Why are you doing this, huh? HUH?”

Akito stood there, dumbfounded. He could hear his father’s breath ringing in his ear. His own was getting faster. His mouth felt stuck together like someone glued it together. “I… I-” He managed to blurb out, his eyes widening even more.

“I what? Are you worthless enough that you got scared? Scared of WHAT? This is your fault, you NEVER listen!” He’s right. He’s right, I am worthless. I don’t know why- His dad. Was just. His hand went up and. 

Akito just closed his eyes, accepting his fate. All he could do was sit and hope it ends soon.

-

He was gone. It was over. Right? Akito doesn’t know. He “wakes up” crouched on his bed. 

The entire experience was a blur. He doesn’t remember most of it. All he knew was pain, and then he ended up lying against a wall, then his hand hurt, then this, then that… all in tiny fragments. Now he was conscious, and trying to locate his mind.

He was hyperventilating in silence. His chest hurt as it went up, down, up, down. In, out, in, out. Everything was fine! Totally. What happened? He knows his dad came, they had a fight. Then his dad used all his anger out on him, and now he just left. Bye-bye.

Oh, right. He got hurt. Akito searched for any wounds. His face was hurting like a bitch right now, so that must be the main point where his father hurt him. He felt a lump on his cheek, ouch that hurt so much, make it stop make it stop- yup, that definitely needs covering. 

He notices a mark on the wall, and his hand hurts as well. So maybe when he was in that spiraly-state, he punched it…? Nothing new, anyways. He also felt a part of his hair… feel weird. It was more tangled than the rest of his orange locks. He must’ve tugged at it a lot then.

Still nothing new.

Akito, still trembling, scooted over to his phone. He checked notifications again. An posted a  picture of a hamster giving a thumbs-up. He smiled slightly at this. Toya responded with just a “K”. Goddamnit he loves him so much. Akito snapped a close up at his eyes, making sure the wound isn't visible in the picture. He sent it to the group chat.

Akihoe

*Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS sent an image.*

k bbgs

The first to respond was An, totally falling for it. Akito laughed at the message.

Annie Slammy

TOP TEN SCARIEST JUMPSCARES, NUMBER ONE 😱😱😱

Kohammy

shinonome-kun, that scared me a little!

NOT Piano Man

Akito, why did you take a photo of your eyes?

Akihoe

why not?

NOT Piano Man

Understood.

Can we talk privately?

Akito frowned. Is Toya dealing with his father again?

Akihoe

sure!

Looking over at the other unread messages of his, he saw one from Ena

Enanan

I’m sorry.

…

Akito ignored it, he can’t deal with that right now. He continued looking at others.

Amia

lil’bro, you good?

Seriously? Why now? He sighed, going to him and Toya’s dms.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

here! what’s up? 

Toya.

Akito, you’ve been acting strange lately. What’s wrong with you? Right now, I mean?

Well, shit. Akito gulped, trying to think of an excuse. Too much homework? He usually just doesn’t do half of it, so it's not viable. Tired from practicing? He does it too much, but would never admit it. Nervous about a test? Nah. Sister in hospital? Akito doesn’t want to pull a Tsukasa, although his sister was actually in the hospital. Now she’s out. Sick? No thanks.

Toya seemed to notice Akito’s silence, because he responded with a:

Toya.

I understand you’re not good at expressing your emotions. I just don’t know how to help you, no matter how much I want to.

Akito felt a pang of guilt hit his heart. Ouch. He never thought Toya felt like this. His lips pressed into a line as he thought. Feeling overwhelmed, he was tired of it all, pretending and shit, but he can’t speak about it, so… He just needed some advice.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

How then?

It took a little while for Toya to respond, leaving Akito feeling worse than before, but when he did, it surprised the ginger a little.

Toya.

Well, if you can’t just talk to someone head-on-head about it, why don’t you try writing a song?

Huh? Yeah, he’s written plenty of songs before. His head swivels thinking. A lot of people liked Cinema. But sometimes he has to censor half his thoughts. They usually aren’t as bad as they could be, but sometimes he lets a lyric or two slip by. No one seems to care.

Seems. But they probably did care.

Akito texted back.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

i already do though?

Toya.

I know, but only when you feel like it’s important enough. Even if you’re simply sad about something, it’s best to write it down at that moment and capture it.

Ouch. That hit like a truck. Toya’s not wrong, though. Akito never really notices his feelings, it’s just practice, practice, practice, Toya, Ena, his dad, Toya, his idiot dad, practice, Ena, Toya, work, Vivid Bad Squad, more practice, Toya, Toya, Toya Toya Toya.

Toya. How does he manage to understand? This could also help him write better songs. More practice. Maybe Toya isn’t wrong. But again, when is he ever wrong? Akito’s heart skips a beat. He’ll take this small, good feeling and cherish it. It’s what he needed.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

Thanks partner. that helped.

Toya.

You’re welcome, Akito.

Akito smiled, before shutting off his phone. It was night. It’d be better if he slept, so he might as well go to bed. It’d be better if he slept forever and never woke up, but Toya… Ena wouldn’t forgive herself. He’ll definitely stay a while longer. And he’ll take up on that songwriting idea, too. He shouldn’t let his small, okay enough talent go to waste.

He feels a bit selfish for wanting this slight warmth to stay forever.

How egoist.

______________________

Author's note: Holy shit Sora actually posts her emo Akito fanfic??? God damn. I'm so nervous to post this wtf help help throws up sobs pls go well pls go well pls- but thanks for reading!

[morningnoodles]

i can't find it right now but i saw a post a few moons ago that was basically like, "the biggest thing you can do to improve your art is to make whatever you're interested in right now" and listen. LISTEN.

i get it. truly i get it. before this year, i rarely draw boys. least of all older men. i was one of those kids who drew girls and fairies and princesses and just stuck with that for most of my artist journey.

and then- april 2023.

amidst one of the longest creative block i've had in my adult years, i got really into lotr and the hobbit. i constantly had (and still have!) this need to draw the characters, especially bagginshield. and so obviously i followed that need.

i mean, if your brain that's been on block for more than a year suddenly goes, "omg i want to draw them i want to draw them i want to draw them", there is no other correct response but "okay let's draw them!" and the results were absolutely horrendous. over time i do see some improvement. just looking at the art i thought good enough to post back in april and my recent ones, i can see i've improved plenty in quite a short time. i even finally worked out a process in my digital art that i feel happy with!

but to me that was never the point.

i don't think i will ever share the sketches i did on those first few weeks and months. still, i look at pages upon pages of completely messy blobby sketches with great fondness, not because of how much i improved since then but because i remember how much fun i had doing them.

so yes, make art that you love and you'll very likely see improvements. but also making what you love is reason enough to make them.

[aperfecta-rt]

messy sloppy "Fairies from Little Red" sketches (Little Red is a fanfic I wrote that was so wildly au and distant from any source material that I made it an original story) ramblin oc info below cut

Fairies are small feline bipedal creatures (usually two or two-and-a-half feet tall, tho they can get up to three!) They're similar to the average house cat in appearance but they generally have bigger ears and a "lion's tail". These guys are defo not drawn to scale

up at the top left having a sit is POPPY!! Arguably the main character of Little Red, tho his two older brothers are equally as "main". He's still a lil kid so he scrapes one and a half feet tall- a baby. His fur is all white, and he's missing his left eye and ear from what appears to be a burn scar

middle t-poser is Max (short for Maximum Power- name he picked himself) who is a BIG BEEFY BOY at juuust shy of 3 feet tall. He is very active and works out a lot. He's about as grown up as a 20 year old human would be, but he's still a silly goober that likes to climb trees (usually fails) and annoy his sister. He's got an orange tabby-ish pattern!

rightmost t-poser is Max's adopted sister Jade. I drew her with eyelashes bc I think she'd want me to draw her with eyelashes like that. She's a bit younger than Max and not quite an "adult" but she's pretty average sized- lil over 2 feet tall. She is not average in having long fur tho- most fairies don't. She doesn't like it bc she can't wear tight-fitting clothes or it smushes all her hair down, which is uncomfortable. She's into anime and likes to draw, currently in her emotionally withdrawn teenage phase. She's short-tempered but very kind and caring once she warms up. Her fur is mottled silver with a bit of a tabby pattern- it's very pretty and unique.

[bravevolunteer]

headcanon + drawing

SEND IN HEADCANON + A WORD / PHRASE FOR A RELEVANT HEADCANON ABOUT MY MUSE.

michael has kept up art as a hobby since he was pretty young, some of the earliest examples of enjoying this were actually based on his father's and henry's animatronics: as a kid, he used to be pretty fascinated with them, draw a bunch of them, bursting with excitement to show either of them his 'ideas,' whether it was new designs he liked to make up or collections of silly little comics. he grew more embarrassed by this the older he got, and stopped showing people his drawings, but kept up with it consistently!

he expanded the subjects of course, still keeping the cartoonish vibe but more so filling sketchbooks with lots of miscellaneous doodles. he would do this especially when he was stuck at the restaurant without any of his friends to mess around with, sketching the animatronics, decorations, and people. he keeps doing short comic-like work ( i point to the silly stylized stick figure ) and often incorporates humor, but he also ends up improving technical skills a lot too. though he doesn't deliberately practice this as much as most would recommend, he can do portraiture and anatomy pretty well ( his strengths there being the fact that he uses very loose and open strokes, so while the technical choices aren't PERFECT, his more realistic work still comes off as stylized and interesting ). he is stupidly good at animatronic and robot parts definitely from the amount of practice he's had just observing them.

he mainly uses just... pencils and pens— anything he can get his hands on rather than seeking out specific materials.

he's not a painter— michael just figures he wouldn't be any good at it, though that's more so the way he's thinking about it. he thinks he doesn't exactly have the drive to sit down for hours and meticulously craft a "real painting" ( in the heaviest of quotes ), personally i think he'd really benefit from quick-paced messy painting as an outlet.

in a similar vein, he doesn't really consider himself much of an artist because of the stereotypical connotations of the word— michael doesn't think he's really making anything worthwhile, which is why it surprises him so much when people are impressed and/or think he could pursue something creative. i am once again saying i think his art teacher was the only one he really got along with and who made him think beyond a one dimensional definition of art.

also just look at his canon doodles wahhh

[theunusuallyferret]

Alright, this is the madness of my elf design. Or redesign of my design. As my previous sketches I did were made when I wasn't in a drawing mood.

Below is a set of older sketches. These were just made before I started my hell of inkober. The first one is the sketch, and the other is the color idea. So far, I like this design and I want to change a few things. For the color choice, I am not so sure. This is a species so color is going to very dependent on the individual. I was thinking greens, blues, purples and maybe yellows. Something that would blend in a fantasy deep forest. Not sure about the eyes and wings. I want a moths wings, but the segmented wings look cool.

Next images. These are some newer designs. Looks messy. I know...

-I have got an idea of how I want the eyes to look. Three eyes, one on the middle of the head to forehead and two on each side. They can move their side eyes to look behind them. Thought that they don't do this all the time because it is seen as disrespectful in their cultures.

-Different head shapes called flat (left), round (bottom middle) and point (right). This could be like different race head shapes.

-Most of my inspiration is from bugs and ostriches. The ostrich has those weird legs I wanted on them.

-Still don't know about the wings...

-Lastly, is the neck. Should I go for a "J" shape or "S" shape? The "S" is more curled with the head leading to the back. And the "J" is less curled and can be seen one the second image below on the bottom left. This also could be a posture thing for their necks. Also, I thought the necks can act like turtles were they can shorten to the body and elongate out.

Quite a word filled post. I'm just focused on making a design for these guys. Idk, if the design can be considered good. I just do my own thing which can go a horrible path. Honestly, I can be mix on criticism. I try to consider other people's words and may take it the wrong way. Usually, it takes me time to understand and realizes, "Damn... Their right." Just not used to showing off my work. I just need to be more patient and considerate.

[rustyvanburace]

That phenomenon is also why, if you get to frustrated, trying to go line-less is always worth a shot if it’s digital art. That method has saved MANY a drawing and made it still look good.

I am very inclined to agree, Anon. And the older I get, the more I find that I'm just not that interested in doing line work anymore cause of the time sink and how much strain it puts me. I recently adopted a "style" of doing lineart with zero pen pressure, making the lines look super even and uh, felt marker-like I guess? I can't go back to inking with the G-pen or any other brushes anymore. The only reason I continue to stick with inking is cause I'm afraid my sketches look super messy and unpresentable, lmao.

I digress, I think it's about time that I stop doing lineart and stop giving a damn about the quality of my sketches lmao. Thank you for your kind reminder.

[notyourd0g]

not the art thing, 'cause ideas come first (MAYBE ONE DAY I'LL DO SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS THAN JUST SOME MESSY SKETCHES)

and it's pretty hard to switch between their POVs, so I'm really glad my friend helps me with this!!

anyway:

at the time of their meeting, Elliot was still in his own band, but it soon broke up (the reason is simple and obvious: he was TOO pushy on his bandmates. his anger issues and impatience made ot worse). "HOW can they be SO unserious?! They don't go to their full potential, don't they understand it?" and so on and so on. In fact, that's why Elliot was extremely impressed watching Leo perform in terrible weather. But after his band broke up, he didn't put in much effort to look for new people. Plus he thinks it's all his fault (but he has no regrets and would do it again)

in other hand we have Leo who lives in an orphanage and sometimes gets permission to go out into the city. It’s impossible to understand whether he has a dream or not, but once again it won't be superfluous to raise money by street performances and youtube channeling.

He's a clever one and can do almost anything. Yes, there is a piano in the orphanage, but, firstly, it is really fucked up, and secondly, you can’t go anywhere with it, you need something smaller. LUCKILY, after the next graduation, he gets an electric guitar from the older guys. Did I mention he's a smart boy? He quickly learned to play it. Really.

He knew how to sing anyway, but he's still lack strength of voice and breath. But no problem! He would simply take some easy songs. After several practices, he decided to go out with simple covers and, yeah, he liked it. Very much. Leo found himself. What a creative guy, good for him, good for him.

At some point he starts to write lyrics and music himself. It also gives an impulse to continue what he was already doing - telling horror stories. His channel was already big, but with the instrumental part, the audience became wider. At some point, that's how Elliot found him before the first meeting.

The video turned on by itself but Elliot became interested in the music in the background. Deciding to leave things as they were, he continued to go about his business, listening to Leo's music, stories and his charming voice. At some point it became Elliot's habit and now not a single day passed without the channel of the mysterious _gl3n_.

After the first interaction with irl, he returns home at night and, as usual, turns on that one youtube channel.

Elliot will soon realize that the voice of his favorite storyteller is the voice of that little guy with an electric guitar he met on the street.

but damn, THAT'S NOT ALL, gears revolve in the heads of BOTH. They DEFINITELY met before, they are sure of it!

One day they will try to guess each other's names, but they won't guess it correctly.

Leo will say the name "Elvis", joking about Elliot's absurd hairstyle and his devotion to the loyal acoustic guitar. (no, they didn't fight, there were cops nearby)

Elliot will say the name "glen" because it's the name of Leo's channel. Leo will shrug his shoulders in response to this, trying to remember why he himself called his channel like that.

Well. It's a slowburn and a pure idea. They will figure everything out eventually. Let them take their time, oky?

[natduskfall]

Kinda afraid to post this but fuck it i hope there will not be consequences.

Why do I feel like what I truly am meant to do in life is art?

Art doesn’t come easy to me. I hate drawing. I hate painting. I hate anything I create. Nothing is ever good enough. It takes me 12 hours to just sketch an idea, and even so the sketch is messy with unfinished parts. I never know how to approach any idea, or how to continue on the sketch. I struggle to imagine anything. I depend on references. I cannot draw anything without references. I cannot think of situations, scenarios, poses, angles. I will freeze and go into a loop when I have to sketch a background. And then I give up. A part of me wants so much to create. I tried quitting art so many times, but it would never last, and I always come back. I dread making art, and I tend to avoid drawing on every occasion, which in turn makes me feel depressed because “I should be drawing”. I keep thinking about applying for art education or art courses, but I also think I don’t have what it takes.

But it wasn’t always like this. When I was a child, I would draw for hours until I couldn’t bend my fingers. I would finish whole pieces in one sitting. I was capable of experimenting, relying on my intuition, coming up with poses or scenarios, and even coming up with backgrounds. I felt good with my art. Yes, I knew I needed to improve, and that my art was not very good when compared to older artists, but for me, it was enough. I couldn’t really show my art to my family members or peers, and online it never got any interaction, but I felt fulfilled. 

Things only started changing when I ended primary education, and went to secondary school. I started feeling like I don’t draw enough, and what I draw is uninspired and badly executed. I struggled to find joy in creating. I would compare my art to my classmate, and to my mutuals online, and I felt hopelessness and despair.

Even so, when I look back at the works I did in that time, they still feel so much more original, fleshed out, inspired, and spontaneous then what I’m doing now.

And I find myself desperate to find answers to what changed. How do I go back. Is there a way for me to get better? Can I get my spark back? Is there perhaps some therapy aimed at artists? Would art education help me? Do I need to work on my technique, the fundamentals, or do I need to work on my mental health, my relationship with art? What do I do?

[married2myphone]

Chapter Two: Sewing Circle

Life As The Avengers' House Keeper

Pairings: Platonic! Avengers x Female Reader

Tags & Warnings: humour, fluff, found family

Chapter Summary: The Avengers walk in on Y/n teaching Peter how to embroider for his Home Economics project, and they decide to spend the day with each other embroidering. Because why not?

Word Count: 3.3k

Tag List: @olsensnpm, @natasha-belova, @caroldanvers2

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

—

“Ow.” Peter muttered and Y/n rolled her eyes at the boy, leaning back on the couch and continuing with her embroidery.

“Ouch.” Y/n dropped her embroidery hoop with an exasperated sigh as she turned to Peter who was completely focusing on his own hoop.

“Peter, I told you that you could use the thimbles. There’s no shame.” Y/n said and Peter dropped his own hoop onto his lap and sent the older woman a sad look.

“But it looks stupid and they mess with my grip, so I keep dropping it.” Peter said and Y/n let out a sigh, shaking her head as she reached into the sewing kit (which really was just a cookie tin) and pulled out the small case of thimbles.

“It’s either that or you keep bleeding from your fingers cause you can’t aim the needle for shit. Now go on, pick whatever color you want.” Y/n said, shaking the box and handing it to Peter who let out a sigh but reluctantly got the red and blue thimbles, putting them on his fingers before continuing.

“Well, hello, grandmas. Do you guys want some tea and biscuits? Maybe some hard candy while you’re at it.” Tony said when he walked into the living room to see Peter and Y/n doing embroidery.

“Ha, ha, get some original jokes, why don’t you?” Y/n muttered, not looking up from her hoop.

“Mr. Stark, look! I’m making the Avengers logo.” Peter said, raising his embroidery hoop towards Tony with a proud look on his face.

He was still in the process of filling out his sketch and a lot of the stitching was very messy, some thread being loose, but it was a work in progress. Besides, it was Peter’s first attempt.

“Wow, looks just like it.” Tony said, barely even glancing at the embroidery, but Peter grinned anyway and went back to work.

“Look what I’m making.” Y/n said, raising her own hoop to show Tony with a proud smile on her face. It was a very flowery and pink middle finger.

“You have such talent.” Tony said with a roll of his eyes as he took his jacket that was laying on a chair.

“Thank you, I agree.” Y/n said as she went back to her own work. 

“Another home ecs project, Peter?” Natasha asked as she walked into the room, going over to a bookshelf and skimming through all the covers.

“Yep! I’m planning to make a few more after this so I can give some to Ned and MJ.” Peter said, poking his finger once more but was happy to see that the thimble he put on protected him.

“I don’t understand why a science school is teaching it's students how to embroider. Shouldn’t you be learning robotics or something?” Tony asked as he put his jacket on before looking for his keys. 

“Well, I think it’s great they’re giving you kids the chance to learn other skills. Hobbies are good so you don’t always put all your energy into work.” Y/n said and Peter looked up and smiled at the woman.

“Hey, speaking of hobbies! You should join me and Ned! We got this new lego set, and I was thinking-”

“Absolutely not. Get back to stitching.” Y/n said with a smile and Peter nodded.

“Yes, ma’am.” He said and the two continued with their work. 

“How do you even have the patience to make all that? Isn’t it tedious?” Natasha asked after finally picking a book and sitting down on the couch as she watched the two continue their work.

“Most things are, but depending on the person, it can be relaxing.” Y/n said with a shrug and Peter nodded in agreement.

“I like it. It’s nice making pretty things and being able to say you made it.” Peter said and Natasha let out a hum, continuing to watch the two.

“Do you want to give it a shot, Nat?” Y/n asked after a few minutes of silence with Natasha just watching them.

“Sure, why not.” Natasha said with a shrug, setting down the book she didn’t end up reading. 

“I mean, how hard can it be?” Natasha said and Y/n smiled, grabbing the bag on the table and rummaging through it before taking out another embroidery hoop.

“What design do you want to make?” Y/n asked and Natasha furrowed her eyebrows in thought.

“I don’t know? Anything, I guess.” Natasha said and Y/n smiled and reached into the bag once more.

“I have some stencils. Pick one, sketch it out on the cloth, then tell me when you’re done. I’ll teach you how to thread a needle and some basic stitches.” Y/n said, handing all the materials to Natasha who let out a huff.

“I know how to thread a needle.” She mumbled as she looked through the stencils, picking out a design.

“Oh, god. Don’t tell me you’re becoming old like them.” Tony said in a disappointed tone when he walked back in to see that Natasha had joined in after finding his keys.

“Shush. Don’t listen to him, Nat. This will be a fun experience.” Y/n said, encouraging Nat who raised an eyebrow at her.

“It’ll be an experience, alright.”

“Well, while you grandmas waste your day creating pictures with thread, I’m going out socializing. You know, like a normal adult.” Tony said and the three gave lazy goodbyes as Tony left.

Y/n developed a hobby for embroidery during that time when she was on the run. She was in a park sitting next to an old woman who was crocheting something. Y/n hadn’t paid her any mind until the woman made conversation, saying she could tell that Y/n needed a distraction.

She offered to teach her how to crochet, and Y/n accepted. Though it seemed like crochet was a bit too advanced, because Y/n’s frustrations got the better of her. Y/n thought she had driven the poor old woman away, but the next day, she found her on the same bench with an embroidery kit. 

She taught Y/n and gave it to her as a gift, and Y/n has been embroidering to pass the time and keep her calm ever since. When Peter came up to her and asked her if she knew anything about embroidery, she was absolutely delighted and couldn’t wait to teach the boy everything she knew.

Leading to now.

“Brucey, join us!” Y/n called out happily when she saw Bruce walk in carrying a box of a bunch of things she didn’t care about. 

“Oh, are you guys embroidering? That looks fun, but I’m a bit busy right now.” Bruce said, emphasizing the box in his hands.

“Come on, you’ve been working all day. Take a break, you can continue whatever you’re doing later. Maybe this time you’ll finish your last piece.” Y/n said, her words grabbing the attention of Natasha and Peter.

“Last piece?” Natasha asked in confusion.

“Dr. Banner, do you embroider too?” Peter asked in excitement and the scientist smiled sheepishly.

“Just recently. Y/n taught me, told me it was a good stress reliever.” Bruce said and Y/n grinned at him.

“And it works, right?” Y/n asked and Bruce laughed as he nodded his head.

“You know what? Sure, I’ll join you guys. Let me just put this away, I’ll be back in a sec.” Bruce said as he walked back and Y/n smiled happily. 

A few minutes passed and Bruce came back with these cartoonishly large glasses on his face that magnified his eyes to make it look incredibly large.

“What?” Bruce asked, furrowing his eyebrows when Peter was shaking, trying desperately to hold his laugh while Natasha was looking away, hand covering her mouth to hide the smile and potential laugh bubbling up. 

“What in the hell are you wearing?” Bruce jumped when a voice appeared behind him. He turned to see Bucky who was looking at him in confusion while Sam was next to him, laughing his ass off as he held onto the wall to keep himself up.

“Oh my god, that is the best thing I’ve ever seen. Smile!” Sam said, taking his phone out and wrapping his arm around Bruce’s shoulder and taking a selfie with him, giving a thumbs up with his tongue sticking out before taking the photo.

“Give him a break. Bruce, I think you look great and you’re very practical.” Y/n said and Bruce smiled happily at the girl.

“Thank you, Y/n.” He said, walking over to the three on the couch and setting himself down, taking out his unfinished embroidery and grabbing a hoop from the bag on the table. 

“Ooh, is this a knitting circle or something?” Sam asked, situating himself behind the couch and looking at whatever the four were doing. 

“Embroidering, actually. See, knitting is really different from embroidery, but they have similarities like-”

“Okay, kid. A simple no would have been fine.” Sam cut off Peter from rambling.

“Would you two gentlemen like to join us?” Y/n asked, looking at the two who glanced at each other.

“I’ll pass. I don’t think I’d be any good at it.” Bucky said and Y/n waved her hand dismissively in response.

“Of course you can’t see yourself being good at it now, you don’t know anything about it at all. But if you try, you could surprise yourself.” Y/n said and Bucky shifted uncomfortably where he stood.

“It just seems like such a… Delicate thing. And I’m not.” Bucky said and Y/n pouted at the statement. 

“Nonsense, man. Come on, get your sewing pants on, we’re gonna do some stitching.” Sam said, grabbing Bucky’s shoulders and leading the reluctant man over to the couch.

“Really?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at Sam’s willingness.

“Yeah, why not? Besides, I want to make what Y/n’s making.” Sam said, pointing to Y/n’s embroidery which caused the girl to grin and sit up, high fiving the man who laughed.

“What do you say, Bucky?” Y/n asked, turning to the man who still looked hesitant. But seeing the encouraging looks on everyone’s face that was directed towards him made him sigh. 

“Fine. But it’s not gonna be good.” He said reluctantly as he sat down next to Sam.

“We’ll just have to wait and see. Now, pick a stencil.” Y/n said, taking a bunch of stencils and spreading them out on the table. 

They were all silently embroidering, occasionally making comments and asking Y/n for help, but it was mostly peaceful. Y/n glanced over at Nat who had been continuously huffing the past fifteen minutes.

When she looked over, she saw that Nat was actually blowing her hair out of her face. Every time she tried though, it kept falling back, and it was irritating her to no end. When Nat realized that someone was staring at her, she raised her head and furrowed her eyebrows at Y/n who was smiling at her.

“What?” She asked and Y/n simply reached back into the bag on the table and took out a black headband.

She got up from where she was sitting and kneeled in front of Natasha, about to put the headband on her when the woman flinched and grabbed her wrists to stop her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She asked with a raised eyebrow and Y/n rolled her eyes.

“Helping you. Your hair is obviously bothering you, and this will help keep it out of your face. Just look at me and Bruce.” Y/n said.

It was then that Natasha finally took notice of both of their appearances. Y/n’s hair was in a bun with a garter used as a headband keeping her hair back while Bruce had one of those large toothy hair clips holding his hair. She hadn’t noticed that because the huge goggles were distracting.

“Come on. It’ll help you work better, and you’ll look pretty while doing it.” Y/n said and Natasha stared at the girl for a moment before sighing and taking the headband and putting on.

“Better?” Y/n asked with a teasing smile on herself. Nat looked away and nodded in embarrassment. Y/n didn’t want to push it, so she just patted Nat’s shoulder and went back to her seat.

“We had headbands this whole time? I’ve been trying to push my hair away for the past few hours.” Peter said when he saw the headband on Natasha’s head.

“Don’t worry, Peter. I have more.” Y/n said, reaching into the bag again and taking out a soft cotton headband that had bunny ears on them.

“Oh, nice!” Peter said, catching the headband when Y/n threw it and eagerly putting it on.

“How do I look?” Peter asked, raising his arms out and Y/n smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

“You look great, buddy.” Y/n said and Peter smiled once more. 

“Hey, that’s not fair. I want a headband that makes me look pretty too.” Sam said when he noticed almost everyone had something to keep their hair in order.

“As pretty as you already are, Sam, I’m afraid a headband won’t do that much for you.” Y/n said, patting Sam’s head and the man rolled his eyes.

“How bout you, Bucky? Want to feel pretty?” Sam asked, nudging the man with his elbow which caused him to grunt because it made him poke himself with the needle.

“I’m good. My hair’s short enough that it isn’t distracting.” He said and Y/n nodded and they all went back to what they were doing.

“Is there a meeting we weren’t told about or something?” Everyone looked up to see the twins walk into the room with both a confused and amused look on their faces.

“It’s rare to see everyone in the same room like this. Especially with everyone… Embroidering?” Wanda asked, not sure how to feel about the sight before her.

“You guys formed a little club and didn’t even think to inform us about it?” Pietro asked with an offended gasp, placing a hand on his chest with a dramatic hurt look on his face.

“You’re very much welcome to join us if you guys want to. There’s plenty of room for everyone.” Y/n said with a smile and the twins glanced at each other before looking back at them.

“Eh, sure.” Wanda said with a shrug, going over to join them.

“I have no plans.” Pietro said, following after his sister.

“Here.” Y/n said, reaching into the bag and pulling out two hair ties which she handed to the siblings.

“You guys might need it.” The two looked around to see that everyone else had their hair up and before taking the hair ties without another thought.

Wanda tied her hair into a tight ponytail while Pietro pulled back the top part of his hair and tied it off before sitting down.

“What else do you have in that bag, Y/n?” Bruce asked, finally taking note of how much Y/n pulled out from that bag in the span of such a short time.

“It’s never ending. There’s a black hole inside; I reach in, and it gives me whatever I need.” Y/n said, wiggling her arms mysteriously at Bruce who chuckled and shook his head.

A few more minutes passed by with everyone doing their embroidery. They didn’t realize it yet, but they were all very much enjoying this time just embroidering with everyone even though they weren’t speaking. But Y/n noticed, and she couldn’t stop the constant smile on her face because of it.

“Pietro, give me the red thread. You’ve been hogging it this whole time.” Wanda said in an annoyed tone, slapping her brother’s arm.

“But I need it!” Pietro complained and Wanda rolled her eyes.

“Then take what you need, but don’t hog it! I need to use it too.” Wanda said and Pietro gestured over to the amount of thread on the table.

“There are so many red over there, take one of those and get off my ass about it.” Pietro said, shoving his sister’s head away.

“I need that specific shade!” Wanda said, shoving her brother back.

“Y/n, is this okay?” Bucky asked, ignoring the rowdiness of the twins as he showed Y/n his work. The girl looked up from her hoop and gasped when she saw Bucky’s.

“Bucky, this is so pretty! I didn’t even teach you how to outline, but you did so good! See, if you never tried this out, you would’ve never found out you had this talent in you. You’re a natural.” Y/n complimented with a proud smile and Bucky sent the girl a small smile of his own before going back to finish his flower.

“What about mine, Y/n? You think it’s cool?” Sam asked, showing Y/n the pizza he was making on his.

“Oh, did you think of that on your own? I don’t think I have that stencil. Good job, I love creativity!” Y/n said, patting Sam on the shoulder and giving him a grin which made the man smile happily.

“Hear that? I’m creative.” Sam said to Nat who let out a light chuckle in response.

When the front door creaked open, everyone stopped what they were doing and their eyes fell on their team leader who walked in with a tired look on his face, hanging his keys on the rack and taking off his jacket.

Realizing the silence, Steve turned to the living room, shocked to see that everyone was gathered together… With their hairs tied up and embroidering? They all stared at each other and Steve simply shook his head and approached everyone. 

They watched as the man sat down with a huff and reached to grab the bag on the table, looking inside and ruffling through it before taking out two blue and red hair clips with sequences and butterflies on them. They watched as the man put them in his hair in wonder before he grabbed some cloth and an embroidery hoop of his own.

“Pass the blue thread, please.” He said and just like that, everyone went back to what they were doing. Y/n passed the thread that Steve needed and gave the man a smile which he thankfully returned.

“Long day?” She asked and a small laugh left Steve’s mouth.

“You could say that.” Steve said and Y/n gave him a supportive smile, patting his leg before leaning back into the couch. 

“No. No. No.” Everyone looked up when Tony walked into the compound, disappointed that Y/n had managed to convince everyone to join her little sewing circle.

“God, how old are you people? It’s a Friday night, the world is quiet, and instead of drinking and having fun, you’re all embroidering.” Tony said and they all stared at him for a moment before swiftly ignoring him.

“Steve, knock some sense into these people for me, would you?.” Tony said, trying his best to ignore the shiny hair clips in Steve’s hair.

“If you can’t beat them, join them, Tony. Try it, you might like it.” Steve said with a shrug, continuing his work and showing it to Natasha who nodded in approval before showing Steve her own work. 

Tony let out a scoff in disbelief, watching as everyone continued to do their embroidery. They were a team of the most dangerous people on Earth, meant to be protectors of the world. Yet here they were, wasting time and-

“Oh, whatever.” Tony said with a roll of his eyes as he went over to sit on the floor because the couch was full, grabbing an embroidery hoop of his own and starting with his own work.

Y/n hid the smile on her face as she looked around her, watching everyone be too focused in their embroidery to notice she was staring. This was nice. Y/n wished they had more moments like these. But instead of wishing for more, she’ll just enjoy what she already has.