#old Italian man soooo bad

[deanmarywinchester]

just heard how nico from dropout’s voice dropped on the new Thousandaires episode and seething with jealousy, let’s not unpack this !

[agent-bumblebee]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie Review (SOME SPOILERS I guess):

It’s hard to believe that when the news dropped that Illumination Animation was gonna produce a Mario Movie I was skeptical and also scared, not only that but when they revealed the casting for the movie during the Nintendo Direct 2 years ago, I was shocked and surprised at who’s gonna be who in the movie.

And of course, it’s not just me, it’s everyone, EVERYONE was surprised and shocked at the cast, especially Chris Pratt as Mario, like that shocked me.

But now here we are, after seeing 3 trailers, a shit load of TV Spots, and even the Super Bowl commercial, that the Mario Movie looked better than I had expected.

So now, was the movie exactly what I hoped it would be based on the trailers and other promotional material?….

Yes. Yes it was.

But it was even better than what I expected, like I thought it was just gonna be good, but holy shit, I didn’t expect it to be REALLY good.

First of all, they really went all out with the references, like there were a lot, not only from the previous games, but also surprisingly from the modern games as well, I mean sure, it’s to be expected, but it still kinda surprised me.

Second of all, the performances were good as well, tho I will admit, I still had to get used to Chris Pratt being Mario, like I’m not saying he did a bad job, I think he did it decently, but it still feels weird to hear Chris Pratt as Mario, especially since I could still hear his regular voice, tho it has that Italian-American accent to it, so I’ll give him that.

But other than that, each of the Actors were pretty good in this, like Charlie Day as Luigi, Anya Taylor-Joy as Princess Peach, Keegan Michael Key as Toad, as well as Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong.

I also wanna appreciate them using professional voice actors as well, I feel like it was a good choice, like you have Kevin Michael Richardson as Kamek, ( which btw, he did a good job with the character) you also got otherr voice actors like Eric Bauza, Khary Payton, Scott Menvile, Jessica DiCicco, and John DiMaggio.

Plus I can’t really forget about Charles Martinet’s surprise cameos, and they weren’t lying about him having surprise cameos, because they were really…well…surprising.

Him being both Mario and Luigi’s dad, and the old man playing the arcade game in the restaurant who sounds and looks like the OG Mario, was just surprising to see.

But of course the standout star of the movie has to be Jack Black as Bowser, cuz HOLY SHIT he was REALLY good. He gave a KILLER performance, and he just seemed like he was giving it his all, and overall just having fun with role, even when he’s performing his music number, he’s still good as Bowser.

The third thing has to be the music, GOOD LORD was the music SOOOO CATCHY and epic, like just hearing a couple of Mario themes from previous games being incorporated into the score was just *mwah* so good.

Tho it is weird how they incorporated some pop songs into this, like they just popped out of nowhere, tho I’ll give credit, at least they didn’t use any modern pop songs, and instead just used, 80s pop songs which I appreciate.

And lastly, is of course the animation, and boy oh boy was it PERFECT, I really love how it’s this combination of realism and this sort of 2D esque style of animation, i.e. the movements.

And the way they incorporate it into the action sequences, made it even better, mixed in with the epic score, and it was a goddamn beauty to watch.

Especially during the final battle between Bowser in both the Mushroom Kingdom and also in Brooklyn, and the Rainbow Road chase, those sequences were really good, thanks to both the animation and the music.

However there is only one thing I had to criticize the movie for….

And that is the pacing, being 93 minutes or an 1 hour and 33 minutes long, it felt more shorter than it is, I do wished that I was a little longer, so we can explore more worlds and also flesh out the world, especially with both Mario and Donkey Kong, because their chemistry felt a little bit rushed, and I would have loved to see a scene of them interacting a bit more, and that they would eventually reconcile with each other, so they can work together.

However despite that, I could kinda overlook that, because of how simple the story was, if they were to make it a little longer, it can kinda make it feel dragged out, and almost boring so I can kinda see why it was the pacing was fast.

But overall, this movie was pretty good, and I enjoyed it very much, and I hope this does well because I am so ready to see a sequel to this.

8/10

Also what the fuck were the critics on that they gave the Mario Movie a 56%?

Yea, this is why I don’t trust Rotten Tomatoes anymore.

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Ik a lot of the time I talk about men who are utter trash in my life but I would like to speak on how my male TA in elementary was nice without being creepy which is like a foreign concept to some male teachers apparently.

I need you to keep in mind as well, he is charming, a handsome tan and JACKED 6’0 Italian man who is straight out of any Wattpad girl’s dream and he is EVERY SINGLE GREEN FLAG EVER. But he makes women so comfortable it is amazing. And he’s funny but he has never made any inappropriate jokes like jokingly asking an eleven year old girl for a kiss. His girlfriend too is just soooo nice and funny and I hope those two r happy together they r so cute. I remember his girlfriend was one of the office ladies and sometimes I would walk by the office and he would be talking to his gf or dropping off lunch for her??? Green flag I tell you, the greenest of the greens. Lord, can you give me a man like that???

I was talking to him while I was visiting my old school for this volunteer thing and I was telling him abt how just bad a lot of the guys at my school were and he physically cringed and admitted he was like that when he was a teenager too. I love the accountability??? He just told me “Ah, just ignore them. They either get better or they don’t” and he was genuinely so shocked when I told him they were homophobic too. He was like “these days??? I get when I was younger but seriously???”

And like he makes a bracelet for his GF spelling her name out while we talk?? And asks me which beads would look nice??? My creepy ass coach would NEVER and he’s MARRIED. Also he gave me cookies bc I said I didn’t eat yet. Girl I hope you marry that man bc where else are you gonna find that??? Honestly all his green flags can be summed up by him actually embracing his emotions and being thoughtful.

See like it’s not hard to be funny with girls and NOT be creepy. You don’t have to make jokes like “oh you remind me of this girl I liked in high school” or “you’re too mature for your age” actually this guy did say smth like that but only bc he saw me drawing and was like “hey are you sure you’re eleven??? I ain’t seeing any eleven year olds draw that good” listen if I was born earlier I would try to bag this man like in what world. Where does one find a man like that???

I cannot stress this enough my creepy coach and this dude had the same flavour of funny but only my coach was creepy bc he so blatantly likes younger girls, in case it isn’t evident by the fact he wants to get married five times in his life. this dude? I think his gf is older than him actually and they’re both middle aged and he DOES NOT CARE he says she’s pretty and that she has pretty eyes skjfkhakfh how are ya’ll so CUTE??? Creepy coach? Not a word of appreciation for his wife (other than the fact that his first one was Indigenous which was… weird like that was the only time he talked abt his wife) but he had plenty of compliments for the kid he was coaching.

No bc the difference between the ways they complimented me???

“You’re a strong, creative young lady I think you don’t have to worry about what anyone else says”

Vs

“You’re a lovely young girl, you’re just too mature for boys your age. You’re different you know? I ain’t never met a girl like you”

See and the thing is I was a weird kid and creepy coach still wanted me. Italian dude was just supportive and admired how I pursued my creativity. Like yeah they’re both pretty comfortable with their emotions but one of them is a little TOO comfortable with the fact that he likes girls under eighteen. ,

Anyways Mr. A wherever you are I hope both sides of ur pillow are cold and u never get random muscle cramps when u stretch

[mountttmase]

Here I'm one againn (cit. Victoria justice in victorious 🤣🫢)

Ooo, let's start with me hating not knowing what/where/when/why I have to do, so I'll be so mad if I was y/n🤣

Hi frey, missed you so much🩷

‘I’ve never really understood what that means’ you told her, flicking through your wardrobe. ‘Like what’s constitutes a nice top? And are jeans not too casual?’ SHE'S SO RIGHT ABOUT THAT🤣

‘Don’t talk about my man like that’ you laughed in mock offence, knowing she was joking but it made you a little smug knowing she thought Mason was attractive. I KNOW THAT WAS IN THE TEASER TOO, BUT, THIS KILLS ME, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 🫠🫠🫠

‘Hate to break it to you, Frey. But Ben has a girlfriend now’ Nooo, we don't like her frey, you have an army that has your back in I'm the first in line🩷🫢

‘I’m loving the all black, it’s classy. And I think you fit the smart casual brief. How long till he’s here?’ AHHAHAHHA, NOO SHE WAS NOT TRYING TO BE A PHOTOMODEL IN THE BALCK OUTFIT, MY BAD🤣🫢

‘Please don’t tell me your nervous’ Freya laughed, watching you panic from the other side of the phone but you couldn’t respond as you were starting to freak out. ‘Come on love, it’s Mason. There’s nothing to be nervous about he adores you. You could be sat there all night with food stuck in your teeth and he’d still worship the ground you walked on’ THAT'S SOOOO TRUE LOVE🩷

‘So he comes to the door rather than texts you from the car? Old school, I like it’ she winked and you laughed as you picked up your phone and made your way to the door. ‘Have the best time, yeah? And wear protection!’ She shouted and you flipped her off before hanging up. After a few quick breaths you answered the door with a smile and the sight you were met with caused your heart to flutter. FREY LOVES HIM AS MUCH AS WE DO, AND I LOVE TO SEE THAT, THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE BESTIES 🫢

‘A little bit’ you laughed which caused him to look at you lovingly. ‘I’ve never been on a date like this before. It just feels massive for me after everything you know?’ you confessed and he gave you a gentle nod before kissing your nose and then gently kissing your lips and you felt yourself relax instantly. OOOO MY CUTE BABY,HES GOING TO LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND TO GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU DESERVE (or I'll gently kill him☺️) But he kissed her nose, how sweeeeet🫠

‘It’s a secret’ he winked and you shook your head playfully at him. GOD, I WOULD HAVE SCREAMED AT HIM TILL HE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME CAISE OF EXASPERATION 🤣

‘Well you didn’t need to. You could of worn a rubbish bag and I wouldn’t of cared’ he told you before reaching for your hand and kissing the back of it. ‘But you look beautiful’ he murmured and you felt yourself go hot all over. HE'S SO WRAPPED UP IN KNOTS

You were driving for about twenty minutes when he finally pulled into a random underground car park and you still had no idea where you were but the smile on Masons face reassured you everything was fine so you took his extended hand and followed him up and out onto the street. UNDERGROUND CAR PARK, IM CLAUSTROPHOBIC, I HOPE SHE'S NOT🤣

‘So I thought long and hard about where to take you tonight. I didn’t wanna take you somewhere random so I’m taking you to a place that’s pretty special to me’ he told you, squeezing your hand lightly as you stopped in front of a cute Italian restaurant. ‘I come here all the time with my family, they sort of know us in here but I’ve never bought a girl before’ he laughed, looking down at you with a nervous smile. ‘We come here for birthdays and anniversaries. Wins, losses, you name it. I hope this is okay’ Oh my god, ill die of cuteness 🫠

I love how they were noisy to know who he was with, but I would have hated it🤣

Dee took you over to table near the back, a round booth that Mason shuffled all the way over in so you were sat next to each other and you smiled up at him when you felt him place his hand on your thigh. ADOIS, ADDIO, ADIEU, GOODBYE 🫠🫠🫠

‘The pleasure is all mine. I always told Mason as soon as he meets his girl he needs to bring her here’ ‘Well here she is’ Mason laughed and you felt yourself blush at his words. I'M NOT GOOD

‘So what do you fancy?’ He asked, opening your menu up so you could look together but the only thing that was jumping out to you were the prices. He caught on straight away and squeezed your thigh so you would look up at him and his kind eyes relaxed you. ‘I asked you out, so it’s my treat yeah?’ I LOVE HOW HE READS HER LIKE AN OPEN BOOK☺️

‘Will you help me?’ You asked and when the waitress came over he ended up ordering for you. You were happy he had because whenever he’d picked was delicious and you almost lost it when he fed you some of his, keeping up his eye contact as you took a bite off his fork. OOOOO😏😏😏

‘Now I know you probably want dessert but i actually have somewhere else for us to go so we’ll have to skip it’ he told you once you were finished and you pouted up at him as he knew you liked to end your meals on something sweet. ‘Don’t worry, the night is still young’ he reassured you and once everything had been paid for and you’d said goodbye to Teddy and Dee, Mason started walking you down the road in the opposite direction of the car. You didn’t ask where you were going as you knew he wouldn’t tell you so you just walked with him until he stopped outside where you needed to be. GOD I LOVE HIM AND HIS CARE TOWARDS HER🩷🫠

‘The cinema?’ You laughed as he led you in but it didn’t look like any one you’d ever been in before and when he took you into the screen your heart gave a thump. The seats you were used to in most cinemas had been replaced with comfy looking sofas and arm chairs and you were pleased to find he’d reserved you a sofa to share. Popcorn, chocolate buttons and a blue raspberry ice blast already sat waiting for you and you lent up to kiss him gently to thank him. ‘This is so cute Mase, thank you’ you laughed as you plonked down next to him, his arm making its way around you shoulders as he pulled you closer. OMG WHERE CAN I FIND A LOZ'S FIC MASON? AND WHERE IS THAT CINEMA?

‘I can tell’ he whispered, bumping his nose against the side of your head before kissing your temple. ‘I love it when you get sassy’ WHO DOESN'T LOVE HER SASSINESS???

He kept teasing you the whole way through, kissing any part of your skin he could reach and stroking his hands over your thighs and waist to the point you had to smack his hands away and tell him to concentrate on the movie as he was missing the best part. You also didn’t know how much more you could handle of him touching you without doing something about it. MASON MOUNT, YOIRE IN A PUBLIC PLACE, TAKE HER IN YOIR PRIVATE CINEMA ROOM NEXT TIME😏

‘Sorry’ he laughed, kissing your nose as he ran his thumb under your bottom lip. ‘Got a bit carried away there. You ready to go?’ NAUGHTY BOY

‘What? Thought you wanted to share a milkshake’ he winked at you before ordering one whilst you laughed besides him. He let you drink most of it on the way back to your flat but you made sure to let him have some too, holding the straw to his mouth so he could take a few sips but you told him you were too full for the rest and you left it for him to finish. OK SO NOSE KISSES AND MC NIGHT DATES ARE THEIR THING DO WE ALL AGREE?

‘Would you like to come in?’ You asked, and you watched the cheeky smirk take over his face as he nodded shyly. THIS IS HIS FIRST PROPER TIME AT HERS, CAN WE ALL CHEER?🥳🥳🥳

‘Oh yeah, you came to pick your charger up when I was hanging out my arse’AHHAHAHHA I love her

‘Me too’ you laughed as you placed your lips to the bridge of his nose which caused him to scrunch it up adorably. ‘Thank you for tonight, I had a really nice time’ FINALLY THE NOSE KISS, I MISSED IT

‘It’s not that I don’t want to, you know… I just don’t wanna rush things’ he explained, kissing your arm gently. ‘And I know if I stay here any longer I’ll never make it to training in the morning’ he laughed which made you smile a bit. ‘Ah there we go, that’s my favourite smile’ he teased which only caused you to laugh more as he pulled you into a hug. ‘We’ll see each other soon though yeah?’ Nope, they need you at training, you have my permission to go, and you two need another date before of it😏😏

‘Of course’ he whispered kissing you again before you walked him to the door. Once he was finally gone you made your way over to the window so you could wave him off like you always did and when he blew you a kiss you felt like the luckiest girl in the world. YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST, DEFINITELY, BUT HE'S EVEN MORE LUCKY 🩷

GOD LOZ, I love this series so much. They are perfect for each other. And you're so good at writing them, I can feel their emotions every time and that's so beautifully overwhelming.

As always thank you for sharing that with us, and thank you for the nth masterpiece🩷

(CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEDNESDAY, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE MY FAVOURITE ONE🫢)

MY FAVOURITE FEEDBACK IS HERE

the effort you always go to stuns me 😂

But they a really are perfect for each other aren’t they 🥺 I think Mase is having a bit of a pinch me moment that he finally gets to do everything he’s always wanted with her 🩷

But yes Frey loves Masey just as much, and he can read our girl like an open book. Even though she’s worried he just wants shower her with affection and get her know it’s okay to be loved 🥹

I’m quite excited about next weeks chapter too 🥰

[m4nd0l0r]

Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That Have Consumed Every Single Space in my Mind-)

Description: “Live.. Laugh… Love the insanity the apocalypse brings me.” -Five Hargreeves, tired after a caffeine rush and/or from a drunken high. 2019. (this is canon.. HE TOLD ME HIMSELF)

Author’s Note: this is just how I’m dealing with writer’s block— i swear i’m still working on my upcoming Five fics- 😭😭 so uh have this for now i guess 🥲 no warnings btw!! its just me writing in lowercase a lot- a shit ton of crack and swearing- (five’s body is aged up- and his consciousness ranges from 30 to 50 in my works— however you decided which age you want for your experience :)))

Five Taglist (i forgot to tag im so sorry 😭): @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @sunweee @reinaeru @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @technicallydifferenttraveler @seconds-not-decades @magical-girl-on-fire @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-loki-bitch @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @ne0boss @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @mivzai @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)

he likes bitter coffee candy (if the mf cant get coffee he’d raid a candy shop rather than logically coming after a cafe-)

likes slasher films for how creative the deaths look (esp if its practical effects, he’s a sucker for those) (he likes nightmare on elm street, he gives me that impression for WHAT)

^ cos of this- i basically headcanon that in his commission days- he’d kill creatively- as if it were his canvas, my guy is an artist with blood 💪

idk why but he’d be an avid “gelato is NOT ice cream you idiot” typa guy (fucker knows italian and my ass RAN W IT)

he watches julia roberts romance movies (cos i like her rom films so im projecting-) (he def likes the maturity of the ending of my best friend’s wedding)

for some reason he considers mocha as chocolate rather than coffee (like the old man he is)

actually likes caramel, never tells anyone for no reason (fucking punk ass smh)

he’d say he hates animals but he’d give a pat to a dog/cat if he’d see one (but he’ll glare at the poor thing if it scratches him-)

from ptsd from the apocalypse- he tries to never indulge w small things like getting large amounts of food- cos he has the mindset that he “might need extra in case something bad happens”

he’d hate physical touch at first- flinching like a surprised cat on steroids— but he gets used to it slowly- and one person at a time

also i dont give a shit on what anyone thinks- FIVE IS A LITTLE SPOON IN HUGS— why you may ask? fucker is a touch starved ptsd filled mf- he needs those hugs ASAP- he would hold your hand 25/8 to reduce his paranoia i just know it (i PROPHESIZEEEE)

the first beer he drunk was a bottle he found in a post apocalypse alcohol store and the liquid was full w small grime and dirt- but he wanted to try some to “check off a bucket list”

LOVES dark comedies, he just does, he CACKLES when he watches one (but he only shows amusement when he’s alone, never w his siblings)

^ he’d also slap his thigh if he finds something soooo funny (old man behaviour smh)

has a personal vendetta against ppl who WOULDN’T put pineapple on pizza (klaus converted the grandpa and at first he felt gross eating it but as he continues he thought: “ok. this isn’t that bad.” the next thing you know, you see him on the phone calling the pizza place for 2 more boxes of hawaiian pizza—)

listens to edith pliaf RELIGIOUSLY (you would gift him a vinyl of hers and his eyes would SHINE) (the only time you saw his eyes the brightest-)

with modern music— he’d prolly like radio music (until you berate him and convert him to alt & indie rock)

has an odd fixation with guns and knives (like the papa he is) (would explain EVERYTHING ABOUT A SPECIFIC WEAPON) (he’s a nerd) (he’ll never admit it) (ever)

has a switchblade on his dominant arm pocket (he could use anything as a weapon, but he likes to be “prepared”)

like on s1, he’d pretend to be a kid and all innocent & shit to get free shit from strangers (you’d hop on the bandwagon and **nicely** ask him to get you stuff too.. he complains and says no but you’d see him on the next day with the shit you requested on his hands)

^ continuation with this— fucker prolly got a coffee machine cos he went up to some lady- went on, put a sad act, and went “oh no.. i dont got a gift to give to my dad.. he always wanted a coffee machine after ours broke” and the lady would have pitied his ass and bought a cheap but durable one for him— this would lead to a situation where the rest of the umbrellas try to take away the coffee machine away from his addicted ass-

viktor: should we?? do something??? diego: we’ve took THREE of those damn machines- what else can we do??? klaus: it’s like… he pulls it out of his ass.. you think he shits out coffee beans?? or is it just liquidated coffee at this point? you: i should call the ambulance before he falls off the window from the coffee… can’t deal with a cranky five.. luther: (is tired of it all and just wants to enjoy his married life) .. yes. please do.

in conclusion? never take away five’s coffee- he will drive you mad—

whenever he’s drunk- he acts like a goddamn sloth (esp if he’s comfortable with you- mf will CLING ON YOU LIKE SOME PARASITE—) (i wouldn’t mind tho 😏- i mean what?)

though as much as he likes bitter coffee- i see him DESPISE BITTER BEER, he would spit that stuff out of with the most offended face ever (all scrunched up like crumpled paper)

for my fellow filipino readers- he unfortunately SUCKS ASSSS when speaking in tagalog… you either tease the living fuck out of him about him or smile through your ear pain going “wow! galing! (amazing!)” (no he was not amazing he sounded like a screeching tire or smth- /lh)

[mel-the-fangirl]

The Escort

Walter Marshall x Reader

Words: 2,064

Warnings: none

Happy super late Valentine’s, Cavillry! As usual, this is a very very late upload but in my defense, it does say in my bio that I am a procrastinator soooo... Anyway, I’m really excited about this miniseries because I love the movie (The Wedding Date, 2005) and I really wanted to write Walter, I hope I do him justice!

Feedback (good and bad!) means the world to me as rookie writer, so I hope you’ll like, reblog and leave me some replies!

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You could not believe you were doing this. You just couldn't. But there you were doing it, even though your mind screeched at you to stop and save a little dignity for yourself.

The fact that you even considered doing this was already a serious loss of dignity points, so what the hell. People did this all the time, didn’t they? There wouldn’t be a whole network of people clumped into this app if it wasn’t a normal occurrence.

It just wasn’t a normal occurrence for you.

Once you filled your head with rationalisations to make yourself feel better, you took a deep breath and began browsing through what the great city of New York had to offer.

Z, 6’, loving hands, fit, athletic, good manners, for water sports, caramel complexion.

For water sports? What in the hell did that mean? And that single initial in place of an actual name? Serial killer vibes. No, thank you.

Lenny, 6’2”, pretty fit Italian, excellent dinner companion, all occasions catered.

Alright. Okay. Now we’re talking. Tall, European, excellent dinner companion equals to good conversationalist, accommodating. Lenny goes on the list of possibilities.

Terry, 6’, my soft voice will arouse you, my strong hands will pleasure you,  let me show you how a woman should be treated, hourly/overnight rates.

Oh no no no. Major creep vibes from Terry. That ad alone had you reaching for another long swig of wine.

Joey, 5’8”, are you into champagne?, bodybuilder, will treat you like a queen.

“If you like piña coladas…” you sang in not even remotely the right key, topping off your drink

Josh, 5’9”, I can make you feel sexy and wanted. Fit, sensual, strong.

“Well!” you exclaimed drunkenly, almost spilling wine on your couch, “Tough beans, Josh! I don’t need a man to make me feel sexy and wanted!” you faltered a bit, your drunk mind still seeing the holes in your logic

“I just… Need a man to help me not look like a tragic spinster in front of my family and my ex...”

With that thought fresh in your mind, you reached for some more wine.

The ads went on and on as you scrolled through your phone, it was all a little overwhelming, how were you going to make sure you weren't hiring some psychopathic serial killing pervert to pose as your date to your sister's wedding?

The groan you let out bounced off the walls of your apartment. The reality of your situation was sinking in little by little. 

Yes. You were hiring a male escort for your sister's wedding. It was your baby sister's wedding, by the way. You were a hundred percent aware that what you were doing was completely and utterly pathetic but you’ve already weighed the pros and cons in your head countless times.

Showing up alone: pitying looks, whispering behind your back, having to face ex by yourself, staggering levels of embarrassment.

Showing up with handsome -hired- date: mother can finally get off your back, date is more handsome than ex, ex will want to shrivel up and die, no one will know date is male escort except you and him.

Now, let’s break down some of the guests just for the sake of being thorough. 

There’s your slightly overbearing mother (slightly meaning every call you have with her opens with the question: “how's your love life, dear?” or “I have the most amazing man to set you up with!”), all of her judgy eagle-eyed friends (mostly rich widows whose sons your mom shamelessly shoves your way), your extended family (some terrifyingly old school great aunts and uncles who will definitely ask if you’re married and smile sympathetically when you say you’re not), and last but certainly not the least, Jeffrey, your ex-fiancé (best man, but apparently not the best man for you, his words not yours).

"Lordy fuck." you exhaled hard, chugging your wine straight from the bottle

How on earth did you get here? Sitting alone in your apartment, working your way through your second bottle of wine (or third? Who was keeping count?), clicking on ads that spoke of "hot single males in your area" waiting to meet you.

Would it be fair to pin it all on the end of your engagement?

Picturing that moment, you decided that it was only fair. Those were five years of your life you would never get back, you were prepared to sign on for more but, yeah.

You were blindsided, that's the only way to describe it. All the while, you thought that you and Jeffrey were on the same page, at the same place in life. You were the golden couple, the couple that all the other couples wished they could be, when you two walked past, girlfriends would give their boyfriends a slap on the shoulder that meant, "Why can't we be more like them?"

It was so out of nowhere, one minute you were discussing wedding cake options over dinner, then suddenly you're putting the ring in his palm, completely in shock. 

After that, you threw yourself into your work despite the fact that you were already a budding workaholic to begin with. That's how you ended up earning six figures a year. 

Six figure salary, check. Doing pretty well in life all things considered, check.

But even with all that, there weren't any conversations over casseroles and cobblers about your many achievements. Nope, your mother and her friends would much rather discuss their worries that you would essentially, die alone.

Your little sister, Amy, getting married before you didn't exactly help to put a lid on all the chatter. And with Jeffrey being the best man? And you being maid of honour? 

It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Maybe you could make up an excuse believable enough to get you off the hook so you wouldn’t have to go?

Were you really thinking about bailing on your little sister’s wedding? If she wasn’t taking cues from your mother, it would be the only one she ever had.

Not one of your finest moments as a sibling.

With the complications of your situation fully realised, you took to reading the ads with a little more effort. Luckily, you didn’t have to look for long.

Nick, 6’, male, tall, good looking, strong build. You will not be disappointed.

The ad was considerably less flashy than the others but you supposed that’s what drew you to it in the first place. It was understated, simple, and his ad wasn’t entirely made up of overcompensating flexing pics.

Mostly because he didn’t need them.

Call off the search, send the boys home. You had a winner here!

Staring up at you from your phone screen was the most handsome man you have ever seen in your life. Literally.

A mane of thick, artfully disheveled curly hair, eyes that were a light shade of blue that had a sort of dark intensity and intelligence that you could spend days trying to understand, and a smile. Oh, that smile was absolutely suckerpunching. It was odd though, something in your head was telling you that this man did not smile often.

You couldn’t tell if the warmth blooming in your chest and creeping towards your cheeks was from all the wine or from examining this prime specimen. Jeez Louise!

“Phew!” you fanned yourself upon stumbling on a photo of him crossing his arms in a tank top. Good God, you hoped he had a license for those guns!

You had to set your phone down for a minute to think things through although it seemed absolutely nuts that you had to think twice at all. It’s just that after the initial excitement and hormones wore off, it was becoming more and more evident that this man was too good to be true.

Just look at him! Were there actually men that looked like that? And why didn’t they live closer to you? A quick sweep of his profile placed him in Minneapolis.

What were the crime rates like there? And did they have a high rate of murders relating to escort services?

Before you could even google anything related to that, you stopped yourself. If you kept at this rate, you would never get anything done! Finally, after a methodical deliberation (aka ogling the pictures on his ad), you saved Nick’s contact number to your phone.

Aaand that’s as far as you’d go for the night. You could call him tomorrow when you weren’t a floundering drunk. It was like your mother always said, “Always be sober for a business transaction, but anything else calls for a cocktail.”

-------------------------

The following morning, you sat at your little breakfast nook, eggs still piping hot and untouched, and a hangover in full effect. You’ve been staring at the phone number for so long, you could say it in your sleep.

Come on, Y/N, the wedding is five freaking days away.

What if this guy was fully booked? You didn’t want to spend five days surrounded by family with Mr. my-soft-voice-will-arouse-you, did you?

You slammed your finger down on the call icon and stuck the phone to your ear. Your heart beat faster and faster with every ring and your palms became so slick with sweat that you almost dropped your phone a couple of times. 

Maybe you should have taken your mother up on the multiple occasions that she wanted to set you up with someone. Alright, on second thought, you didn’t really want to be with someone who only looked good on paper but was actually an insufferable mama’s boy.

“Hello?” a male voice answered, catching you off-guard

Oh, God. Okay, you’re really doing this.

“Yes, hi! Hi. Uh, I’m looking for Nick!” you chirped, in a startled high pitched squeak you didn’t dare recognise as your own

The silence on the other end was starting to make you sweat behind the knees. It suddenly dawned on you that you didn’t mention any specifics.

“Uh, sorry! I got this number from the, uh, the ad. I’m looking for Nick?”

“Yes! Yes, that’s right, but Nick isn’t in right now. This is his manager.”

Was that a good sign? That a male escort had a manager? Did all male escorts have managers? You clearly didn’t know enough about this stuff.

“It’s a pleasure, Mister..?”

There was another beat of silence before the person on the other line answered, you tried your hardest not to overthink about what that could have meant.

“Foley! I’m Foley, Nick’s manager.” Mr. Foley’s voice returned to your ear, sounding much too bright for your liking. 

Christ, what were you, a cop? To be honest, you were exhausted. Despite all the alcohol in your system last night, you barely got any sleep. You spent the rest of the night reading through some reviews of Nick’s service as an escort.

He had a glittering five star rating.

One woman hired him to pose as her husband at a high school reunion and by the end of the night, she ended up proposing to him. He respectfully declined and even bought her dinner afterwards.

That review alone was enough to convince you that you would be in good hands. So, it was time to buckle down, swallow the nerves, and handle your business like the adult you were.

“Mr. Foley,” you shook your hair out and put on your professional voice. “I’d like to book your client for five days, give or take. I need a plus one for a wedding. Is he available to leave on the-”

“Please hold. I’ll check his schedule.”

“Oh. But I didn’t mention when I-”

“He’s available. Would you prefer to pick him up at JFK or will he meet you at your place of residence?”

“Oh. Uh, I guess I could pick him up. Do I pay for his ticket or..?” you were feeling a teensy bit of whiplash at how fast this was all going

There was some rustling on the other line and the muffled sounds of bickering. You tried not to let that concern you.

“We’ll handle that, Ms. Y/L/N. We have your number, we’ll be in touch for further details. Good bye.”

The line went dead and you were left staring at your phone in confusion. Did you tell him your name?

[jojoboisimagines]

Snippets Ch.4 : Johnny and Josuke (4) with the Same Crush (3)

Previous Chapter

A set of multiple drabbles/oneshots combining characters (i.e Jojos) from multiple parts and AUs.

.::.

"That guy...do you think--" Josuke started.

"That's their boyfriend? No idea." Johnny quickly answered, trying to play it off as if he didn't care.

It was quite the opposite. He may have cared too much.

To say Johnny was jealous was an understatement. But it seemed like Josuke was feeling some of the heat too, seeing you hanging out with some guy and proceeding to talk about him with Josuke when the two of you went to lunch the other day.

Josuke was still in the dark about Johnny’s own crush on you, which was a relief for the jockey, but it was hell for him, having to be afraid of either guy winning you over first.

He just needed to muster up the courage to talk to you again, but it was a lot more difficult than he thought it’d be. You two always seemed to be busy when the other wasn’t. Of course he still had Gyro (and occasionally Josuke and Hot Pants) to keep him company, but he missed you.

The little spat the cousins had was forgotten for a while. They didn’t exactly apologize to each other, but just starting to talk normally again was enough sign there was no hard feelings. The younger teen was still very confused about Johnny’s intentions that day.

‘ Was he trying to be a good role model or was he just mad I was leaving him at home?’ he thought. It didn’t really matter to him anymore, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned about what Johnny must’ve been thinking, and if he still did feel that way.

They sat at a small table on the far side of the kitchen. Josuke, looking rather bored, held his head on his palm, while Johnny was playing on their shared Switch. Or at least, was pretending to be after Josuke brought up the subject.

“Hey, can I ask you an honest question?” The Japanese teen breaks the icy silence once again.

Johnny merely raises an eyebrow with a low ‘hm’ that was barely audible. His heart silently raced thinking of what the boy sitting across from him had on his mind to ask.

“(y/n)...how long have you known them?” 

A simple enough question to start off with, Josuke thought. Yet Johnny’s lips still pursed.

“Uh...about half a year now. We got really close in that time I’d say.” That last part wasn’t even to get a rise out of Josuke, he just genuinely thought so. He really cared about you, romantically or not.

Meanwhile, Josuke had only known you for the duration of the summer, which was about to end in a couple of weeks. Perhaps if he’d beg Johnny to let him stay he’d have more time to bond with you, but there was also the issue of him feeling homesick from time to time.

God, if he could take you back to Morioh with him..it’d be like a dream come true.

They both had quickly forgotten about whatever guy Josuke was referring to earlier, mixed up in their own thoughts about their relationship with you. Besides, he had only ever seen the guy once, there was no way you’d switch up on him that quickly.

He had no dates or anything planned with you like he usually does, though. Not that he didn’t want to spend time with you, he just felt as if he was coming off as a little...clingy.

Higashikata had been trying to drop hints that he liked you, such as buying you things, having heart-to-heart conversations as he’d walk you home, calling you pet names, and ending his goodnight texts with a little heart emoji. He considered himself a romantic, but when it came to your reactions, you kinda brushed them off platonically. Perhaps you’d never been flirted with before?

His texts were still frequent, making sure you were having a good day and all, but he figured maybe he should start being a little more risky..

“What do you like about (y/n) anyways?” Johnny asked.

There was a pause for a couple of seconds, before Josuke scooted back in his chair and got up from the table, intending to retreat to his room for a couple of hours.

“The same things you do, probably.”

.::.

“Ow! Gyro, what the hell was that for?!”

“Because, idiota, you need to confess already.” He hovers over Johnny like a judgmental parent.

Josuke had left the house to get some groceries, and in that time, the jockey called Gyro over. Not for advice specifically, but that's what it had eventually turned into. Sitting on the floor of Johnny’s room (where it was painfully easy to find porn magazines, Gyro won’t let that go as long as the two of them live).

“Like seriously, this is getting embarrassing to watch, just do it already.” The Italian pointed a finger at his friend. “Sooner or later you’re gonna do the thing where you get the girl drunk and then sleep with her regardless of feelings.”

“Ugh, I’m not like that anymore Gyro!” Johnny folds his arms with a pout his friend knows all too well at this point. “I’ve never committed to anyone before, so of course this is a little more awkward for me than it is for anyone else, you know this!” 

Indeed he did know. It was somehow one of the things they always ended up talking about.

“Listen, I know how this is gonna end. Its gonna end with you in this same room, bunched up in several blankets, listening to Fleetwood Mac on repeat with 3 pizza boxes to make yourself feel better.”

The American scoffs.

Gyro sits upright on his bed. “I’m right. Look, this gal means a lot to you, I know. I’ve seen it. You’ve never stared at someone with such a…not hateful look in your eye.” It was half a joke, half truth. “And I don't wanna see you sad, so you’re just gonna have to pull yourself up, grow some steel balls, and ask them out. For real. For both of our sakes at this point.”

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Wow, Gyro wants me to be with a girl? Pigs must be flying.”

“You are so not funny.” The Italian’s teeth flashes for a moment as he scowls.

“Alright, since you’re such a casanova, why don’t you tell me what to say to them?” At this rate, there was really no other choice for Joestar to take. He could ask Hot Pants, but knew she would give him similar advice.

“Nyo-ho! I’ll show ya! All you gotta do is gimme your phone.”

As soon as the word ‘gimme’ was uttered, the jockey clutched his phone as if it was a baby. The last few times he lended his friend his phone, it didn’t go so well.

Gyro would’ve snorted if he wasn’t serious about this.

“Come onnn! It--”

“Won’t go like the last three times, right? Fat chance.”

“Just hurry and hand it over before I tackle you!”

The larger man did that far too much already, much to Johnny’s dismay. Once Gyro had him in a headlock, there was no getting out of it. He defeatedly raised his phone up to the man for him to take.

“If you ruin anything, I’m doing the same thing to you, AND taking your damn horse.” The Italian waved him off as if he was merely an angry toddler. As he typed, Johnny tried to peer over and see, but his friend was too adamant on turning side to side so he couldn’t. The expressions Gyro was making wasn’t a good sign either. First confused, then mischievous, then looking a little too proud of himself. The jockey’s hands could start sweating at any moment from the sheer anxiety this was giving him.

“Aaaaaand done! There we go, all set!”

Johnny reached for his phone as soon as the words left his mouth, unapologetically in a snatching manner to immediately read the text sent.

::‘Hey This is Johnny darling. Hope your day has been as beautiful as your smile. I was wondering if you’re free tomorrow by 12pm. I have something very important to tell you. See you soon xoxo.’::

Alright, so it wasn’t as bad as he thought itd be (not nearly as bad as the time Gyro dared him to send a ‘send nudes’ text to you) but god, it would look suspiciously out of character for you to see. He can’t even remember the last time he typed ‘darling’ instead of ‘darlin’ and actually bothered to punctuate his texts. And who even used ‘xoxo’ anymore?

His friend looked at him with a big grin, waiting for his reaction. A slightly more pure smile than if he were waiting for Johnny to get a joke.

“Soooo what do you think? You gotta pick some nice clothes out for your date.”

The shorter man sighs.

“Its...passable.”

.::.

 Josuke got home a little later than he expected. He was surprised to see there was still Prince CDs in stock at the store. Thats one of the perks of coming to America, he guessed. He was more than ready to put them into one of Johnny’s old CD players he had found. It was already hard for him to listen to pretty much anything without thinking of you. At least if it was Prince specifically, it would help him feel better and he could jam out to it.

Finally finding the track he wanted, he grinned, letting the music play out loud and hopping on his bed. It was a good few minutes before he had started getting that feeling in his gut again.

..Crap, this wasn’t helping either.

The teen felt that he couldn’t endure this much longer. Love was something he took very seriously and to be so unsure about your relationship just made him feel funny. He had to at least know for sure if the both of you were on the same page. Josuke was sick of being so anxious about it.

Josuke laid down flat on his back, pulling his phone out.

“You know what? I’m gonna ask them out.”

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #835: A New Me (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

9:45 p.m. at Smash Mansion's Living Room........

Tifa: (Smiles Brightly While Getting her Hair Trim and Cut by Daisy) Thanks again for doing this for me, Daisy. I had no idea you know a thing or two about doing someone's hair.

Daisy: (Smiles Back at Tifa) It's no problem, Tif. I've learned about all of this since I was a kid.

Tifa: You don't say.

Daisy: Yep. I accidentally signed myself up for hair stylist class instead of football.

Tifa: What makes you wanna signed up for football classes in first place?

Daisy: Thought it was cool at the time. I also thought the whole hair stylist gig was boring at first, but I'd actually had a good time there. I learned a lot about too: did you know that the growth rate for humans' hair is just under a 1/2 inch per month which is equal to about 5 inches per year?

Tifa: Huh. I.... actually didn't know that until now. Interesting.

Daisy: I know, right? There's a crap ton of facts about hair that I didn't even know about until now, but I'll tell you about all of that later....Are you sure you're okay with me cutting your hair like this, Tif? I can tell you had it for a really long time now.

Tifa: Yep. I've always had it this long ever since I was a little girl. (Smiles Fondly of the Memories She Has in the Past) We've been through a lot together: Good times, bad times, in betweens. But nowadays, the longer I keep having it around, the more it got me to think and realize that....the long hair itself, represent my past a lot more thoroughly than I thought it would and that maybe....it might be time for me to start moving on from it entirely.

Daisy: So what you're basically saying here is that getting your hair cut down would help you feel more new to yourself in the present going forward.

Tifa: (Happily Nodded a Little) Exactly!......That.... doesn't seem too ambitious, does it?

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Of course it doesn't, girlfriend. I totally get what you're coming from in all of this.

Tifa: You do?

Daisy: Yeah. Back in my younger days, when my hair used to be dark and long-

Tifa: Wait. Was it during that time Mario saved you from an evil alien?

Daisy: (Simply Nodded) Correctamundo. I think his name was Tango or something like?.... (Sighs While Shrugging her Shoulders) I don't really remember. But anyways, I was so convinced that beauty and royalty was everything and that it was the only thing that matters to being a princess. (Starts Rolling her Eyes at the Past Memories) So much so that became an actual phase.....

Tifa: (Starts Snickering) A phase?

Daisy: ('Sigh') Yeah. A phase. Hated it every time I think about it...... Buuuuuut eventually, I realized all of that was complete bogus, left it all behind me .....(Smiles Proudly) and became the woman I am right now. Or....rather back when I was a kid. But....you get where I'm coming from in all of this right?

Tifa: (Happily Nodded) I do. And if you ask me, I prefer the current you over the past anyday.

Daisy: (Heart Begins to Melt in Happiness by Tifa's Words) Awww~ Thanks, Tifa~

Tifa: (Giggles Softly) You're welcome, girlfriend. If anything, I should be thanking you for sharing this with me.

Daisy: Eh. It's no problem. (Does One More Trim Before Stopping and Taking a Deep Breath) Okay. I think I'm finish now. (Gives Tifa a Handheld Mirror) What do you think?

Tifa: (Gasps Lightly as She Sees a Reflection of Herself Having a Perfectly Cutted Short Hair) Oh my gosh.....(Smiles Brightly and Excitedly) This looks amazing on me!~

Daisy: You really think so?

Tifa: (Got Up From her Seat and Gives Daisy a Hug) I know so, Daisy. Thank you soooo much~

Daisy: (Giggles Softly as She Hugs Tifa Back) It's no problem at all, Tif. I mean, damn. I never expected it to turn out THIS good.....

'Door Open'

Cloud: (Walking into the Mansion with Luigi and Dedede) ('Sigh') This is the last we'll ever let you talk to the police, De.

Dedede: (Glares at Cloud) Oh come on now! How was I suppose to know she would go ahead and give me another ticket?

Luigi: Your majesty, you can't just going along and flirt with a police officer like that. Even if she was, and I quote, "Prettier than a Strawberry Ice-Cream Sundae".

Dedede: Hey, you can't blame an old man for trying at least. I really thought it would work that time....

Cloud: We can and will. And no, it didn't work.

Daisy: WEEGIEEE!~ (Makes her Way to Luigi and Hugs Him Before Pouting at Him and the Others) What is this we hear about you three getting stopped by the police tonight?

Luigi: (Chuckles a Bit Awkwardly) Sorry about worrying you guys, Daisy. We kinda drove our motorcycles pass the speeding limits on the empty roads.

Cloud: (Starts Rolling his Eyes While Pointing at Dedede) It gets worse when casanova over here thought that flirting with an officer would actually get her to give us a warning instead.

Daisy: (Starts Snickering) Casanova and flirting?.... I'm sorry. But are we REALLY talking about the same Dedede here?

Dedede: (Glares at the Laughing Princess) Oh hush up, girl! I can be a well-balanced ladies man anytime I want!!!

Daisy: Yeah right!~ (Already Has a Teasing Smirk on her Face) And how was that flirting tactic with the police lady went again?~

Cloud: Terribly.

Dedede: (Starts Growling Angrily) I'm warning y'all!!....

Tifa: (Sighs While Making her Way to the Gang) Well, regardless, we're glad you three came back home safely.

Cloud: Thanks, Ti-(Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprise at Tifa's New Looks) fa?.....

Luigi: (Eyes Widened at Tifa as Well) Tifa.....Is that really you?

Dedede: Dayuum, girl. That haircut looks great on you.

Tifa: (Giggles Softly) Thanks, your majesty. Daisy got it cut for me a few minutes ago.

Luigi: (Turns to his Girlfriend) You did?

Daisy: (Proudly Nodded) Yep!~ You might not know this about me, Weeg, but I've made a pretty decent name for myself as a hair stylist growing up....I mean, it has been years since I've done this. So I'm not entirely sure if I did a good enough of the cut or....

Luigi: (Smiles Softly) You did a great job, Daisy.

Cloud: (Nodded in Agreement) I agree. It looks amazing on her.

Tifa: (Eyes Widened at Cloud a Little in Genuine Surprise) You really think so? I mean, aren't you gonna miss the long hair I always had ever since we were kids?

Cloud: I will, but I'm always up for a change every once and while. Plus, I'll always think you're beautiful no matter how different you look.

Tifa: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness as She Hugs Cloud Lovingly) Has anyone told you how much of a sweetheart you really are?~

Cloud: (Shrugs) Eh. Doesn't really fit my style. Luigi's more of a sweetheart than I'll ever be really.

Daisy: FACTS!

Tifa: (Giggles Softly) I mean, yeah. But you'll always be my sweetheart~ (Kiss Cloud on the Cheek)

Daisy: Hey, Cloud!~ If you want, I can give your spiky hair a fresh new look-

Cloud: I'll pass.

Daisy: You sure?

Cloud: Yep.

Daisy: Positive.

Cloud: Positive.

Daisy: ..........I mean, if you're absolutely su-

Cloud: I'm sure, Daisy.

Daisy: ('Groans a Little') Fiiiiine..... (Turns to Luigi) You want me to do your hair too, sweetie?

Luigi: (Smiles Sheepishly at his Girlfriend) Maybe some other time, dear.....

@keyenuta

@caleb13frede

@ma-lemons

@26shann

@albion-93

@italian-love-cake

@illyrilex

[airi-p4]

Miraculous escape - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

Thank you @alittleshycat for the header and wanted posters pic! 💙 Thank you @brickercupmasterx3​ for proofreading! 💙

I’ve been into comedy lately for some reason... This chapter has been finished for a while, but I’ve been writing more of this story. It’s fun to write because they’re all stupid XD

A/N: Remember this story is Lukanette + Adrigami endgame.

Chapter summary:

The fugitive and disguised men arrive to Milan and set in their Hotel rooms and Rose holds a girls' pajama party.

AO3

_________________________________

Chapter 2: Arrival to Milan

The train arrived at Milan later than scheduled. Not that it surprised any of them - except probably Adrien who always rode bullet trains instead of cheap ones. Delays were part of the public transportation's everyday life (at least in Southern Europe).

It took them eight hours to reach the Italian city, and Adrien and Luka had mostly spent the time either sleeping (from exhaustion of the day before) or daydreaming about the girls that caught their attention. Juleka glared at them more than a few times too, reminding them to focus on their acting, but they pretended not to notice. She seemed to be having a good time with the short haired blond lady seated next to her, anyway.

During the ride, Madam Mendeleiev also assigned their hotel rooms: two members per room, sharing it with the person beside them during the train ride. That meant Luka and Adrien were assigned the same room, and Juleka and Rose and Marinette and Kagami would share theirs too. The men were relieved with the assignments- at least they could drop their acting during the night.

After arriving at the hotel, and leaving their suitcases at their respective rooms (courtesy of XY, who didn’t miss his chance to flirt again with ‘Lucia’- ew ), the band members reunited again to have dinner. Too bad for them, they didn’t get to share a table with Marientte or Kagami, but shared it with Juleka and Rose.

“Hey!” Rose called for their attention. “Why don’t we have a girls' pajama party here later, when Madam Mendeleiev is asleep?” she suggested.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea-” Luka started, but was blunty cut by Adrien.

“Oh, yes! A party! Yay! Let’s do it! It will be soooo much fun!” Adrien exclaimed happily, amicably joining the palm of his hands with the grinning Rose's.

“Yay! I’m going to tell the others!” Rose said, running to the other areas in little hops.

Juleka and Luka could only facepalm at Adrien’s reaction. It was probably his first ‘pajama party’, of course he would be excited. ‘Just be careful’, Juleka warned them, giving up at Adrien’s puppy eyes.

A few hours later, after assuring Madam Mendeleiev was pleasantly asleep, the boys changed into old fashioned nightgowns and moved to the Hotel’s bar, where almost all the ladies were already chatting and drinking together. Luka was disappointed to see how Marinette wasn’t there, and he soon left the party. On the other hand, Adrien was completely enjoying himself with the ladies. Chatting, laughing, singing, playing cards, fortune reading… The rich boy had never had so much fun in his life. Kagami had left early, but Adrien had made sure to stare at her as much as he could before his eyes couldn't follow her anymore.

Meanwhile, sick of his acting, Luka moved to a closed common room nearby. Dark and cold as it was, he didn't expect to find Marinette sleeping in one of the coaches, next to an incandescent lamp.

“Hey, are you ok?” He asked, shaking her a little. Marinette’s eyes opened all of a sudden, almost giving Luka a heart attack.

“Oh! Sorry!” She apologized. “Where am I?”

“You fell asleep in the common room. Can you walk...?” Luka asked her. She stunk of alcohol- lots of alcohol. Marinette nodded but almost fell down on her knees as soon as her feet hit the floor. Luka sighed. “Where's your room? I'll take you there”

“206” she answered, and Luka lifted her body to carry her in princess style. She was very light and he was probably enjoying her in his arms more than he should.

“Wow! You're so strong for a girl!” she said, in fascination, between hiccups.

Luka froze. *Shit* ‘ She’ll find out I'm actually a man at this rate! Think Luka, think! I need an excuse! ‘“It comes with carrying a guitar everywhere” he answered nervously.

But Marinette wasn’t really thinking. “That's amazing!” A short pause followed. “Wait! Put me down!” she demanded, and Luka obeyed, seating her on the coach again. “Let's have some girl talk before going to sleep!" she grinned.

Marinette's begging eyes were too much for his enamored heart and his body automatically answered. "Okay"

"Yaaay" she said loudly in a celebrating tone, between hiccups.

Luka gulped. She looked absolutely defenseless and beautiful in her pajamas. If he hadn't already fallen for her, he would have again at that moment. His long fingers threatened to betray him any moment, longing to feel her perfect skin under his touch. He bit his tongue trying to suppress his predator instincts and act like the woman Juleka expected him to be.

"Won't Madam Mendeleiev get angry if she finds us?" Luka asked, looking for an excuse to leave.

"She won't!" She assured, pouring more alcohol into her cup and taking a sip. "We'll just turn off the lights and hide, and that would do. Here." She offered him a glass. "Have a drink with me"

"Thank you. I could never say no to a drink" 'Let's hope it distracts me enough from my ‘naughty’  thoughts...'

"You know?" Marinette started, stopped by another hiccup. Luka carefully listened to her dreamy voice. "I thought you were a man at first…"

Luka choked on his drink. 'Oh, no. We've just arrived! Have I been found out so easily? I can't let her find out yet! We need to escape and-'

"Hahaha- really? No way. See? Breasts" he quickly answered, lifting his fake breasts awkwardly.

"I knooow. I'm just joking" she giggled, making Luka sigh in relief. "I haven’t introduced myself, have I? My name is-"

"Ma-Ma-Marinette, right?" Luka giggled, but stopped immediately after noticing her hurt expression. "Sorry, I didn't want to make you feel bad"

"No, it's ok. It's my fault for being so clumsy…" tears had started to form in her eyes and Luka felt his own heart hurt in regret.

"No, no! I should have been more sensitive. Sorry." He sincerely apologized.

"Thank you ugh- sorry. I don't think I caught your name…"

"Lucia" 'God I hate this name'

"Lucia. Pretty name. Are you from Spain? Or Southern France?" Marinette asked, curious.

"Yes, I'm from the Basque region" he lied to add credibility to his act.

"That explains your strength!"

"That's just a stereotype, Marinette… but who knows? Maybe I should try tearing a trunk in half with my bare hands sometime" Luka joked and Marinette laughed.

"You're so funny!" Her laugh sounded like the most beautiful melody in his ears, inspiring him to compose hundreds of songs. "Want more?" She offered him her bottle of alcohol.

"if you insist..."

Marinette opened the bottle to fill Luka's glass, but her trembling hands made her spill the alcohol on Luka's lap, surprising him.

"Oh, sorry! Your sleeping dress…" She lamented.

"It's fine. I'll ask for the hotel’s laundry service to clean it tomorrow and it will be fine" he smiled. 'how could anyone get angry at those beautiful regretful pure eyes? Impossible'

"What are these voices! Is anyone here!?" Madam Mendeleiev shouted from the aisle.

"Oh no! Hit the lights and hide! Here!"

Marinette pulled Luka's body strongly to hide him behind the coach, hugging him. During the minute they spent in that position, Luka forgot how to breathe, in awe of her softness and unexpected precise reflexes.

Madam Mendeleiev later moved toward the room where the girls’ party was taking place, and Luka could only feel sorry for Adrien. ‘ Good luck, my friend’ . But actually, he was more worried about himself, since the chest of the woman he liked was pressed on his face.

"Ufff… she's gone. Sorry!" Marinette stood up, offering her hand to Luka.

"No, it's fine…" he recomposed himself, shaking his head. "We should go back…" 'before the alcohol controls me and I do something stupid'

"Yes…Thank you for keeping me company, Lucia." She smiled.

“My pleasure" he smiled back. "I’ll go get Ad- Noirette first. Will you be fine on your own?”

“I guess so?” she answered, dizzily.

While Luka helped Marinette stand up, Kagami called for her friend, running towards them. “Marinette! I’ve been looking for you! Don’t tell me you’ve been drinking again? Are you ok?” she said, passing her arm under Marinette’s to help her steadiness.

“I’m perrrrffffect!” she said in a hiccup. “Thanks to Lucia! She’s soooo strong, you knowwww?”

Kagami’s eyes narrowed at Luka, giving him chills. But soon she apologized for her friend’s behavior, bowing her head at him. She also informed him she would take her to their room and thanked him for having looked after her friend. Luka excused himself to go look for ‘Noirette’. Kagami’s eyebrows frowned at his comment and started walking with Marinette.

“See you tomorrowwww, Luciaaa. Goood niiiiiighttttt”. With an exaggerated waving salute, Marinette almost fell straight to the floor in front of the elevator. Thankfully, Kagami made it in time to prevent the accident.

"Good night, Marinette. See you tomorrow" Luka waved back, blushing at her clumsiness.

'This is bad' Luka thought. His heart beat faster than ever. ‘ This girl is too damn cute. I’m going to fall in love for real if this continues... ’ Luka shook his head to snap out of his thoughts. Time to get Adrien back.

Back at the elevator, Kagami kept looking at ‘Lucia’ with judging eyes.

_____________________________________________

When Luka arrived at the party room he could see the girls (and Adrien) being scolded by Madam Mendeleiev. Not daring to show himself, he waited until they all returned to their respective rooms to meet with Adrien.

“Adrien! Are you ok? I saw that witch scolding you. Did you have fun at least?” Luka patted his back.

“Luka! Where were you? It was so fun until that old woman arrived… I’ve never had so much fun before! We drank, sang and played games… I love this band already. Do we really have to leave…?” Adrien mumbled, looking like he was about to cry. Luka could sympathize with his feelings.

“Sorry, Adrien. You know what will happen if your father ever finds us… I’m happy you had fun, though”

“Thanks. Where were you, by the way? I’ve been asking for you, but nothing”

“You won’t believe it! I got to spend some time with Marinette! Man, I thought I would pass out due to her cuteness. She’s too much for my heart…” Luka answered, grinning like a lovestruck fool.

“At least it went well in your case… I couldn’t even exchange a word with Kagami before she left, and she avoided my eye contact…”

“Tomorrow is going to be another day, don’t worry. It will go better next time, you'll see. Remember we have rehearsal all day tomorrow. We should sleep” Luka said, removing his wig. Adrien mimicked his action, nodding in agreement.

Suddenly, the door opened and the two men froze. ‘Oh no’

“It’s not what it looks like!” Luka screamed, followed by Adrien’s “What he just said!”

Juleka rolled her eyes from the door, going inside the room. The clueless musicians sighed in relief.

“Are you stupid? Why didn’t you lock the door before removing your wigs? Do you want to be found out when the escape just started?” she scolded them, who made apologizing puppy eyes at her. “I’m here to discuss your escape plans”

“Oh” they both responded, making Juleka sigh at their dumbness.

“It seems no one has figured out your true identity yet. The police are still looking for you in Paris and France, so you should be fine- at least for now” she informed them.

“Good thing there’s no internet or mobile phones in this story! That would make things very easy for them to spot us when we play with the band” Adrien said, more to himself or someone not present in the room than to his interlocutors.

“Ad, man, what are you talking about? What the heck is intern- whatever you said” Luka asked, confused.

“I don’t know. I had the feeling I had to mention it. Nevermind- I don’t know it either. Go on, Juleka” Adrien shrugged and let Juleka continue with her explanation.

“See? This is the band's schedule. We’re spending this week in Milan, then Verona, and then the band is going to perform in Venice. I contacted mom with my radio and she’s going to get us a motorboat ready to escape. I’ll have a radar prepared with the coordinates so we can meet in the sea with the Liberty- mom’s ship” she clarified for Adrien. ”That’s your escape plan. Make it to Venice, and it will be your win. Don’t screw it up! Understood?”

“Yes M’am!” they said in unison, doing a salute pose.

“Good. I’ll be here early in the morning for your make-up. Good night” she said, reaching for the door. “And lock the door next time” she warned before closing it.

Luka immediately hurried to lock the door and let his body finally relax and fall to the bed. “Let’s go to sleep… It’s been a long day…”

Adrien agreed, and just like that, the men fell asleep under dreams of beauties and the feeling of being chased by the demon himself.

[cevans16]

First Date

Summary: Part of Wonder Woman - mini series

Part One: https://cevans16.tumblr.com/post/646497572776755201/wonder-woman

After the comic con ended you had received a text from him that he would come by to get you a little bit later. You guys decided on walking since the restaurant wasn’t too far. You had gone back to your friends home to change. You were beyond nervous to meet with Sebastian not only because you had a crush on him but because you hadn’t been on a date in a very long time, you’d practically sworn off dating after constantly being disappointed or hurt. You’re best friend on the other hand was ecstatic for your date since you were finally putting yourself out there for once.

“Okay you have to look hot!” she said excitedly

“What no, he already knows what I look like besides I want to feel comfortable” you defended yourself. You turned to look at her eyeing you up and down.

“Fine just a little hot but don’t make it overboard” you said causing her to yelp.

You changed into a white long sleeve blouse, dark jeans with black booties and topped with a black leather jacket. Your best friend retouched your hair in curls and added a Smokey eye look to your makeup. You received a text from Sebastian letting you know that he was on his way.

“I don’t know maybe this is a bad idea” you said nervously

“Don’t start. It’s been a long time that you’ve gone out with someone” your best friend said

“Yeah with good reason” you stated, “maybe you should come too”

“Fuck no, you are going by yourself like the big girl that you are” she teased

About ten minutes after Sebastian had texted you you and your friend heard her doorbell ring.

“He’s hereeeee” she sang

“Stop you’re making me more nervous” you said smiling

“Look at me” she said grabbing your face, “you are a smart, independent, stunning, funny woman and ANY man would be lucky to have you” she motivated you.

“Yes, thank you - oh wait my perfume” you said spritzing yourself a couple times. You grabbed your purse and kissed your friend on the cheek to head outside.

You opened the door to see Sebastian leaning against the wall on his phone.

“Sorry I was touching up” you said to him

“Oh I was about to text you - no worries” he said. He subtly checked you out however you still caught his look at you, the same one he had given you the first time you had met.

“You look beautiful (Y/N)” he said

“Thank you Sebastian, you look amazing too, why did YOU change?” you asked him curiously

“Well I want to impress this beautiful girl soooo I have to input some effort” he smiled at you

“You’ve been successful” you winked at him, noticing a pink blush on his face.

“Thank you. I uhhhh - shall we?” he said motioning you to head out.

You both walked towards the restaurant, it was a nice chilly fall evening in New York.

“Where are from then? Because you did say you’re here visiting” he asked you

“Boston” you replied

“Ahhhh a Bostonian. You don’t have an accent though” he said peering over at you

“Well I live in Boston but I’m from California” you explained to him.

“Your friend?”

“She’s from California too but her dream was New York and I’m only about four hours away so we visit each other”

“Your dream was Boston?” he teased you

“Yes....stop it” you chuckled, “it’s a big sports down, it’s beautiful, its a big city but still has that small town feeling and fall is perfect there” you explained

“You know I thought I left Evans back in Boston but I guess not” he joked

“What?!”

“Chris, he says the exact same thing you do”

“Well he isn’t wrong” you said proudly

“You, you’re from here right, New York?” you asked him

“Yeah yeah - originally Romania but my mom brought us out here by the time I was ten I think” he said

“Nice - you like it here I assume?”

“It has its up and downs but it’s home” he said to you

“You don’t miss home?” he asked you

You sighed thinking about it, “I do and then I don’t. I knew that if I didn’t move to Boston, that one day I would regret it. I do miss my family a lot sometimes but I’ve kind of gotten used to it” you said

By this time you two had arrived to the Italian restaurant you had advised him about

“Ladies first” he said opening the door for you. The place wasn’t packed, giving you guys a ten minute wait time. In the mean time you and Sebastian went to the restroom.

When you got out he was on the phone with someone but he hung up the moment he saw you.

“Sorry if I’m on my phone a lot - it’s my agent” he said to you

“I get it - I don’t have an agent but work is work” you said to him

“That it is” he said smiling at you

“Party of two for Stan!” the hostess yelled out

“Come on doll” he said letting you go ahead first

You sat down at a table in the outdoor patio which was something you always loved especially in the city. The homestead gave you your menus and walked away leaving you and Sebastian alone.

“I hope you like it here” you said to him

“I think I will” he replied looking over the menu, “what do you usually get?”

“Anything actually, I really enjoy the pasta though, the carbonara is to die for oh and the cannolis too, the tiramisu, the wine, the calzones” you said saying almost everything off the menu

Sebastian was observing you in the moment of your small rambling, he thought it was cute seeing you excited over something so small.

“Sorry I’m rambling aren’t I, uhhmm pasta for sure” you said

“Pasta it is” he smiled at you

You both ordered wine, different pastas and conversed while waiting for your food to be ready.

“How often do you come to New York?” he asked

“Honestly as much as I can, I have one sister living in the south but my niece is now coming to NYU so I’ve been here more to help her settle in plus besides my friend that you met today, I have a few other ones so I’m here visiting them too. It’s not a bad drive” you said

“You drive from Boston to here?!” he asked surprisingly

“Yeah! It’s a fun road trip, with some nice music and my own company” you said laughing

“Jeez woman” he said sipping his wine

“You? Have you gone to Boston?” you asked him

“Ehhh I don’t go often, sometimes but it’s rare I’ll visit Chris but other than that not reallllyyy”

“Got it”

Your food arrived, smelling delicious as ever, Sebastian couldn’t wait to try it.

“This smells amazing” he commented

“That’s because it is, sorry but I’m about to stuff my face” you joked to him

“That makes two of us doll” he replied chuckling, already a mouthful of pasta in him.

“Okay - I have to ask, how old are you?” he said

“(Your age)” you replied

Sebastian slightly choked on his pasta, he didn’t expect you to be about a decade younger than him.

“Fuck I’m sorry, I thought you were older, not that you look older” he stuttered.

“It’s okay, if you don’t want to do whatever this is anymore that’s okay” you said to him

“Nooo no I do, I was surprised is all” he said immediately

You two continued to get to know each other, the conversation flowing well between you. You hadn’t realized you had been there for almost three hours until your friend texted you to make sure you were okay.

“Are you guys up for any dessert?” the waiter asked

“Would you like some?” Sebastian asked you

“You have to try the tiramisu” you said excitedly

“Tiramisu it is please” Sebastian told the waiter, “oh and I’ll also try the cannolis but those are to go” he added

“Where do you work? Like what do you do?” Sebastian asked you.

“I work in the sports industry, ticketing department” you said to him

“Holy shit for what team? - Patriots?”

“No the Bruins, I’ve been in hockey for so long it’d be weird to leave and I enjoy it so much” you said

“That’s awesome, remind me not to bring you around Evans because he’ll try to swoop you” he teased

“What why?!”

“You’re definitely his type” he winked at you

“What about YOURS?” you asked with a smirk

“Welllll I did bring you out on a date doll so you’re definitely not my type” he said joking of course

“That’s meannnn, do you like sports?”

“Uhmmm not really” he said shyly

“Well that sucks because I love them” you said, “I guess I’ll make an exception for you” you winked at him this time causing him to blush

“Thank you I’m very lucky” Sebastian said

They brought out the tiramisu, Sebastian loved it, saying that you were definitely right about the entire food options you had suggested him. The waiter brought out the check. You and Sebastian both reaching for your wallets.

“Doll I know you’re not about to try to pay for this” he said peeking at you

“Sooo I can’t let you pay for everything Sebastian”

“Ohhh no. No, no, no, I pay for it all. Don’t try to do it” he said to you.

“Fine fine, I get next time then” you said then realizing your slip

“Oh so there’s a next time huh?” he asked you

“No uhm that’s not what I meant” you said stuttering

Sebastian didn’t say anything else, he laid his card on the bill.

“I’m going to the restroom, I better not come back to you paying for this” he smiled at you

“We shall see” you replied back

When he came back he was happy that you had listened to him, he did want to see you again, he had been wanting to tell you that halfway through dinner but he didn’t want to scare you off. Sebastian had this gut feeling about you, you were different than what he was used to. He couldn’t wait to get to know you more even if you lived in another state.

You grabbed your belongings then headed out to the city again. You noticed he was taking you a longer way back to your friends house, you didn’t mind it though it since you enjoyed your time with him.

“I gotta say doll, I’m happy that I took you out” Sebastian said

“Thank you, I’m glad you did” you chuckled, “and thank you for dinner, really you didn’t have to pay for it”

“I asked you right?” he said

“Mhmmm”

“Well then I get to pay”

“So if I ask you then I will get to pay then?” you asked

“Not a chance but good try” he said sticking out his tongue to you

“Excuse you” you said doing the same thing back to him, “you butt head”

“What did you say!!” he asked exasperated

“You’re a butt head” you said laughing by this point

“You like this butt head though” he said as he put his arm around your shoulder

“Ehhh I’m still debating on it”

“Okay THATS rude” he said pushing you softly away

He then ran his fingers softly, closer to your own hand, waiting for you to oblige. When you didn’t, he intertwined his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb on your hand. It felt nice, Sebastian’s hand was much bigger than yours but it felt perfect. You smiled at him as you two almost arrived to your friends house. When you walked up he stopped you two.

“I had an amazing time” he said facing you now

“Me too Sebastian thank you” you replied.

He observed your face quietly for a few seconds. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You wanted him to kiss you but at the same time you hoped that he would wait. It was the second option.

“Would you like to go out again?” he asked you softly

“I would” you smiled at him. A big smile grew on his face, he leaned over to kiss your forehead.

“I’ll text you when and of course if you’re available” he said to you

“Okay”

“Oh and these are for you” he said, placing the small box of cannolis in your hand

“You didn’t have to!” you said

“I know but you sounded like you really enjoyed these” he shrugged

“You have to take some” you insisted

“No I bought them for you”

“I know but I like to share and I think you should at least take one” you said

“You’re a little stubborn aren’t you” he said narrowing his eyes at you, chuckling when you mimicked his same expression

“Look who’s talking”

“Fine I will take one” he said grabbing a cannoli from the box. He took a bite off of it, immediately moaning at how good it was.

“You and that cannoli should get a room” you joked

“Whatever, this is amazing”

“Take another one” you offered thinking he would say no.

“That I will not oblige to, thanks. So yes second date for sure. I’ll see you later doll” he said giving you a hug before walking back home.

You walked into your friend’s place with the biggest smile, she was excited to hear about your date. You talked about it while watching your favorite show that you two enjoyed watching together. About an hour later you received a text from Sebastian.

Sebastian: Hey, I got home a while ago. I had an amazing time! How does next weekend work for you?

You: I unfortunately can’t next weekend, our season starts :( after that?

Sebastian: I can’t that weekend........ we’ll figure it out doll :)

You felt a little bad that you couldn’t make it up yet but you knew that Sebastian and you would figure it out together.

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

Cat-Blocked

Happy birthday ❤️ ❤️ @australet789 ❤️ ❤️ !!! I hope you’re going to like this little fic based on your Ladybug episode art!

A sincere thank you to the amazing @goblin-alchemist, who not only betaread this fic suggesting valuable adjustments, but also came up with the title and the ending!

Summary:  Lila might try and try, but no matter what her newest plot to poison Marinette’s life is, Adrien will uncover it and come to his dear friend’s rescue.

AO3 / fanfiction.net

***

‘Oh, no! My lucky pen is missing!’ Lila lamented, her lower lip trembling and eyes already wet. ‘I can’t write the math test without my lucky pen!’

‘You can borrow one of mine!’ Rose chirped, viciously pink pencil-case at the ready.

‘Nooooo,’ the Italian girl wailed. ‘That was my favorite pen! Purple, my favorite color too.’

‘Maybe you left it somewhere?’ Nathaniel supplied. ‘When was the last time you had it on you?’

Lila pursed her lips in an exaggerated manner as she considered this question. ‘I had it when I went to ask Adrien about an equation I didn’t understand. He’s so wonderful at explaining things!’ she exclaimed. 

‘You didn’t sit with us,’ Nino reminded her. 

Adrien just nodded. He watched his classmate and latest modeling partner closely, trying to figure out in time, what she was up to.

‘That’s right!’ Lila snapped her fingers. ‘I sat in Marinette’s seat. She was running late, as usual.’ The girl sent their class president a condescending look. ‘It must be soooo hard for you to get here on time with all the tasks you have with your parents at the bakery!’ She continued with faux smile. ‘I guess some of us are lucky their parents don’t expect them to work!’

Marinette growled under her breath, but she left this hidden insult without any answer. Instead she pointed to her desk. ‘I don’t see your pen here, Lila. You must have left it somewhere else.’

Lila narrowed her eyes at the girl. ‘I’m sure I left it there. I remember I stood up when you came.’

‘No pen here, Lila,’ Alya rolled her eyes.

‘Can I check?’ The Italian girl fluttered her lashes innocently and headed for Marinette and Alya’s desk, despite the fact that it contained no pens whatsoever. 

She stumbled over Marinette’s backpack, scattering all the contents on the floor.

Adrien caught a glimpse of purple as Lila opened her jacket and then he heard the clatter of a falling pen, just a bit later than the rest of Marinette’s things. He moved fast, his shoe covering the pen and kicking it deep under Nino’s seat. His seat buddy didn’t even blink as he stepped on the pen and moved it even further away, obscuring it from view for better measure. Good old Nino, he probably had no clue as to why Adrien took the pen, he just followed Adrien’s lead.

‘Oh,’ Lila sighed. ‘I’m okay. It’s nothing! I’m sorry Marinette, I stepped right into your backpack.’

‘It’s oka-’ Marinette started.

‘But look, what’s this?’ Lila gasped feeling the floor in the place where she dropped the pen just a moment earlier. ‘Isn’t it my-’

‘Lila, I found your pen!’ Nino exclaimed, turning around and bending to pick the pen that was now next to Nathaniel’s desk. 

‘No, you didn’t!’ the girl snapped. ‘It’s right he-’

‘Look!’ Nathaniel took the offensive item from Nino’s fingers. ‘It’s your lucky pen!’ he called happily.

Lila looked to Marinette, then to Adrien and Nino. She pursed her lips. Her eyes flashed with rage, before her face morphed into a well practiced elation.

‘Oh, thank you, Nino! You saved my test!’ She cast the boy a pleasant smile before going back to her seat. 

Adrien didn’t know any Italian, but he was pretty sure what Lila mumbled on the way was some extremely bad cursing.

***

‘I swear to you, I didn’t sleep a wink last night!’ Lila complained. ‘I basically moved to the bathroom.’

‘You poor thing,’ Mylene cooed. ‘Did you eat something bad?’

Lila fell silent for a moment, her gaze skipping over the audience. When she made sure Marinette was there, at the back of the crowd, she shook her head theatrically.

‘It’s not possible. I only had pastries from Dupain-Cheng’s bakery yesterday,’ she looked at her fingernails. 

‘You did not!’ Marinette stood up. ‘I was manning the counter all afternoon and I didn’t see you.’

‘Ah, I was at a photoshoot all afternoon and we got the pastries on the set,’ Lila supplied innocently. ‘They tasted a little stale, but I thought since they’re from the best bakery in Paris-’

‘You must have eaten something else, Lila. Remember, there were no pastries at the set yesterday?’ Adrien put a hand on Marinette’s shoulder as he stood by her side. ‘Father forbids them, because they can easily stain the prototypes.’

‘But I-’ Lila started.

‘Besides, if there were any pastries from Dupain-Cheng’s patisserie,’ Adrien winked at Marinette, ‘they wouldn’t have lasted long in my presence,’ he patted his belly. ‘No Dupain-Cheng treat can go stale if I can help it.’

He pretended he didn’t see Lila’s murderous gaze. It wasn’t hard since his vision was momentarily obscured by a fresh, buttery croissant that Marinette just took out of her lunchbox and offered to him. She was a true friend, knowing what he liked.

***

‘It’s not here!’ Marinette cried. ‘I definitely put it in here yesterday!’ She nervously shuffled through the contents of her backpack, trying in vain to locate the art project that was due for the day.

‘Maybe you left it on your desk at home?’ Alya asked.

‘I swear I packed it yesterday, as soon as I finished attaching the rim. I used red silk, it creases terribly if not stored in the right manner.’ Marinette was now throwing everything out of the backpack, as if the huge project could somehow hide at the bottom. ‘You know how scatterbrained I am in the morning.’ She tipped the bag upside down and shook it, but only a few cookie crumbs fell out. ‘And this is half of our grade!’ She tugged at her hair.

Adrien helped Alya to stack Marinette’s books neatly on the desk. He risked a discreet look at the last row, where Lila was busying herself with her phone, seemingly not taking satisfaction in the drama happening at the front of the class. 

‘Pssst, kid,’ he heard Plagg’s whisper from his pocket. ‘Look at her right hand.’

Adrien did as he was told. There was a fragment of silk wrapped around Lila’s ring finger, so slim, it wasn’t difficult to miss it if you weren’t looking for it. Red in color, could have been mistaken for a ribbon from afar, if it wasn’t for the ragged edge.

‘The rest is in the locker room dumpster,’ his kwami continued. ‘Wanna be the knight in shining armor?’

‘Thanks, Plagg,’ Adrien muttered under his breath.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ came a reply. ‘There’d better be cheese in this for me.’

‘You got it,’ the boy replied with the corner of his mouth.

‘Is this your project?’ A few minutes later he presented Marinette with a slightly crumpled, but still very impressive collage on French fashion of the first half of the 20th century. A bit of red silk was missing, but the work wasn’t destroyed.

The angry thump of fists wrapped in red silk from the last row was almost as satisfying as Marinette’s squeal of gratitude. But they both dimmed in comparison to the moment Marinette climbed to her toes and planted a hearty kiss on his cheek. And even Plagg’s snicker couldn’t ruin it for him. Marinette gave the best cheek kisses among his friends after all.

***

‘What do you mean by “it’s ruined”?’ Alya fixed her glasses as she inspected the contents of Marinette’s PE bag.

‘Ruined, as in it’s all holes,’ Marinette raised a pencil. At the other end dangled her PE t-shirt, or rather what was left of it. 

The rest of the class gasped in unison. The garment was barely in one piece, larger and smaller holes visible in the material. The subtle flower pattern, Marinette’s trademark signature, was barely noticeable The gymnastic shorts were in no better condition. 

Lila took the t-shirt in two fingers and tsked at the item with a sympathetic smile. ‘It looks like clothes moths,’ she noticed. ‘Look! A few of them are still there!’

‘Ew, ew, EEEEWW!’ The girls screeched. 

Marinette dropped the bag and its contents to the floor. 

‘I can’t go to classes in these,’ Marinette sniffed. 

‘I’m sorry, Marinette!’ Lila patted her shoulder compassionately. ‘I had no idea you had pest trouble at the bakery.’

‘Yeah, she has pest trouble all right,’ Plagg commented for Adrien’s ears only.

‘Tell me about it,’ Adrien sighed. His fingers were already dancing over the screen of his phone.

Marinette sat at the bench, sniffing from time to time, while other girls tried to comfort her. Lila kept at the edge of her group, her fake sympathetic smile plastered to her face. 

There was a knock on the door and Gorilla’s large head appeared in the crack. Adrien shot from his place and took the package his bodyguard brought at his request.

‘Here,’ Adrien passed it to Marinette. ‘I know it can’t replace the clothes you made yourself, but this is the best I could do on such a short notice.’

The girl watched him with the eyes of a deer caught in the headlights as Alya grabbed the package and emptied it on Marinette’s lap. The Ladyblogger whistled appreciatively.

‘A designer tank top, gym shorts, sweats and a hoodie? Nice job, Agreste,’ she praised. 

All the other girls flocked to Marinette again to inspect the garments. 

‘Gabriel brand!’ Rose exclaimed.

‘This is the newest collection. It’s not even in stores yet,’ Marinette whispered in an absent minded voice, as if the reality still hadn’t registered.

‘What?!’ Lila cried, then realized what she’d done. ‘I mean, that’s so amazing and so nice of you, Adrien.’

This time it wasn’t Adrien’s imagination that his name came from her lips as a hiss through clenched teeth. It wasn’t even a warning. It was a threat. To him or to Marinette, he couldn’t tell yet.

***

‘Well, I can’t prove anything,’ Marinette groaned, as she rubbed her ankle. ‘But I could have sworn I slipped on something on those stairs.’

Three pairs of eyes followed her line of sight to the very empty steps. Nino and Alya shrugged, ready to brush it off as yet another example of Marinette’s clumsiness. But Adrien thought he saw a fresh stain, a bit wet patch on a step, that might have been occupied by something slippery. And hadn’t he seen Lila ostentatiously devouring a banana at lunch table? He had lost his appetite in an instant.

‘Can you walk?’ Alya crouched next to her friend. ‘Classes start in a minute or so.’

Marinette gave her a brave little smile and pulled herself up against the railing. She winced when the hurt ankle took her weight, but she just clenched her teeth and set out for their next class, in something between a limp and a hop to save the aching leg, with Alya as her crutch substitute.

‘Oh, no, Marinette! You fell down the stairs?!’ Lila lamented. She pushed herself from the wall she’d been leaning on and jogged to the four of them. ‘You have to be more careful or you might seriously hurt yourself one day.’

Marinette grumbled something under her breath, as she hopped on, but Adrien saw that now not only her teeth, but also her fists were clenched.

‘I know a great orthopedist from when I got hurt saving Jagged’s kitten,’ the Italian girl babbled happily. ‘I could get you a visit if you want to.’

‘I thought you got tinnitus then?’ Nino tilted his head.

‘Yes, of course. But the jet blast was so powerful it knocked me off my feet. The doctors said I could have lost my leg,’ Lila fluttered her lashes and puckered her lips. ‘That orthopedist was a lifesaver!’ She proceeded to grab Adrien’s arm and smiled sweetly at him. ‘And if you ever need a visit, you just have to ask!’

Lila’s breath reeked of bananas making Adrien’s stomach twist into a tight knot. There was a very flat banana peel stuck in her purse, looking just like a peel might look like after someone slipped on it. 

Adrien disengaged himself from Lila’s grip. ‘Hey, Marinette, wait!’ He called. ‘I don’t think you should use that leg now.’

Marinette and Alya stopped, their brows raised in confusion.

‘Let’s take you to the nurse’s office, shall we?’ he announced and then without further ado wrapped Marinette’s hands around his neck and lifted her princess style, just like he had done tens of times as Chat Noir. She was as light as a feather and despite her initial uneasiness, she relaxed in his arms pretty quickly.

‘Okay?’ he asked and she nodded. ‘Great, then off we go. Agreste Taxi at your service!’ He winked and took off to the aforementioned destination.

He didn’t fight the sly smirk upon hearing Lila’s angry thump behind him. He carried Marinette around the school for the rest of the day, even after her ankle got better. After all, what were good friends for?

***

Adrien would be lying if he’d said he didn’t like his self appointed role as Marinette’s protector. He kept close to his good friend ready to ruin every scheme and disprove every lie Lila had been cooking, and in those rare cases when he was too late, he did his best to take care of Marinette in a way that would not only be enjoyable, but also a subtle (or not) jab at their nemesis. 

His role had a few unexpected advantages, like having to carry Marinette princess style on more than one occasion, or getting plenty of “thank you” croissants and quiches. The cheek kisses were also a nice bonus.

It’d been a week since Lila’s last attempt at sabotaging Marinette and it seemed like maybe she finally got the memo. Adrien reluctantly relaxed and he was slowly getting used to the fact that his protection services weren’t needed. Lila kept as far from Marinette as she could, not giving him even a shadow of a chance to come to the rescue. She settled for giving him the stink eye every now and then.

Yet his protective mode was still on. He still swept the corridors for potential dangers before his friend left the classroom. He still kept an eye on her locker and her backpack just in case someone wanted to tamper with them. He had to stop himself before giving Lila the “I’m watching you” treatment.

And now his *protect Marinette* senses were screaming at him *DANGER*DANGER* in big red letters. He left his post at Marinette’s side for just one lousy break and it turned out to be the opportunity Lila had been waiting for. Adrien saw her approaching Marinette at the other end of the corridor. He broke into sprint hoping he’d get there in time to stop any “accident” or “mishap” that Lila had in store.

‘Hey, Marinette! Can I-’ Lila started.

Adrien sucked in the air as he gasped for breath, wrapping himself around Marinette in a protective hug.

‘What the-,’ Marinette mumbled confused, from somewhere close to his chest. ‘Adrien?’

‘Did you just hiss at me?’ Lila asked accusingly. 

‘Are you purring?’ Marinette whispered to his sternum.

He didn’t even know how to address those questions, so he looked around searching for rescue. What he didn’t take into consideration was that his sprint had attracted the attention of nearly everyone in the hall. Jaws dropped. Fingers pointed. Gasps were heard. A ripple of murmurs spread through school like wildfire through dry grass.

‘Dude,’ Nino breathed out, standing beside an equally shocked Alya, ‘just a friend?’

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

The sharing bed prompts I loveee that shit. What about “person A hogs all the covers and person B’s solution is to spoon them” and “does that feel good” with Rami as person B?

All right—I took some liberties with this prompt, and while it isn’t smut, it is fluffy and fun. Perhaps there needs to be a Part II, but for now, here you go : )

Y/N is the press tour director for Bohemian Rhapsody, so essentially, she is in charge of the boys. This is totally AU-ish, and this is also the first time I’ve written Joe and Gwil. Forgive me if it’s bad. 

* * * * *

Having been on the road with the boys for several weeks, I knew it was never anything that was going to make my life easier when they started being exhaustingly charming to me and only me.

“Cut the shit, boys. What do you want?”

Rami grinned, but I shook my head, “Nope—don’t try that either. What do you want?”

Rami’s smile faltered, and he sighed. He licked his lips, tucking his bottom one between his teeth, and I turned away, refusing to let any of his ticks affect me now.

Everyone on the tour could see the way we looked at each other, but I had a job to do. Rami was an actor, and this press tour was only going to be one small part of his life. But for me, this press tour’s success could send my name right to the top of the PR list, ensuring I’d never have to work three jobs to make ends meet again.

And no one, no one knew that.

This was Hollywood; people weren’t interested in the rags to riches story anymore. All that mattered was what your life looked like, so I made sure to consistently project a strong, confident woman with nothing to lose.

Except that right now, it sounded like I was going to be forced to make a very difficult decision: to keep up appearances by giving over to the boys’ demands, or to buckle, revealing how much the success of this tour really meant for me.

Joe stepped forward and popped onto the edge of the desk in my hotel room, crossing his legs and changing his voice to a high, nasally pitch.

“Well, ya see Mista Sheffield,” Joe said in his best Fran Fine impression, “as the nanny, it’s clear ya been makin’ these kids work way too hard. If they don’t get a break, it could be very bad for their health—and yours,” he added with a wink.

Sighing, I pushed back from my desk and looked at Joe, who re-crossed his legs and batted his eyes.

“I’ll consider your offer if you put on one of Nanny Fine’s skirts, Mazzello.”

“Uh, did you not see the pictures of us in drag? Only Rami’s got the stems to pull that look off.”

I flicked my eyes over to Rami and he smiled, although it was a shyer smile than usual. However, I didn’t look back at Joe. Rami was almost always the leader of their schemes, so I asked, for the third time, what exactly they wanted.

“Since our stop in the next city has been delayed, we thought we could have some time to . . . explore Italy.”

“And?”

“We want to rent a car—”

You started shaking your head no, but Rami pressed on.

“We want to rent a car and drive. We have plenty of time to get there—”

“And if something goes wrong? My god Rami—we are talking about an extra 48 hours, not a week!”

“Nothing will go wrong. You have my word.”

“Those are the most famous last words in every movie, television show, and novel produced in the last century!” I said, my voice rising as I stood up from the desk chair.

“We’ve already mapped it out and it only takes twelve hours longer than the train you have scheduled,” Rami spoke in a rush, moving to stand in front of me and to grasp my upper arms. “We have our cell phones. And . . .”

“And?” I prompted.

“And you’ll be with us,” Rami finished, his voice low and soothing as his eyes burned into mine.

I had to close my eyes to escape his spell because what he was saying was actually not as unreasonable of a request as I had been sure it was going to be. Backing away from Rami’s grip, I sat down on my bed with a plop.

“What does Gwil say?”

“It was his idea.”

“Oy vey,” I said, flopping back onto the bed.

The bed bounced as Joe landed beside me, perfectly propped up on his elbow.

“Soooo maaaa, what do ya say?”

“If—oof,” I said bouncing as Rami landed on my other side.

“If Joseph Mazzello agrees to never impersonate The Nanny again, we can take the car.”

The boys laugh and plant twin kisses on my cheeks and I give them both a hard shove away from me.

“But if anything, ANYTHING happens, I am holding you, Rami Malek, personally responsible,” I said as I stood up and glowered down at him.

“Ooo, Ram, man. That means she’s docking your pay.”

“Don’t care, Joey!” Rami cried as he exaggeratedly sniffed the air. “Can you smell that?”

“What . . . should I be smelling . . .”

“It’s the smell of FREEDOM!” Rami roared as he thumped Joe on the chest, hard enough to make him groan, then start giggling.

A small wrestling match ensued before I yelled at them to get out before they broke my bed.

“Go tell Gwil the good news,” I begged, making them freeze as Rami’s head poked out from under Joe’s stomach after Joe had pinned him with his entire torso.

They scrambled off the bed, each of them fixing their hair as they hurried out of the room to tell Gwilym the good news.

I sat down on my disheveled bedding and bowed my head, praying to whatever god that would listen for this minor detour to happen without a hitch.

The boys, as high-energy as they could be, had been giving their all at every event and had been working ungodly hours. If I could do this for them, they deserved to enjoy it.

* * * * *

God.

The master of the universe.

The almighty creator.

The powers that be.

The flying spaghetti monster.

It didn’t matter what the higher power I prayed to went by, whoever or whatever it was, hated me.

No.

It loathed me, and I became convinced that it got off on circumventing any possible happiness I could have in my life.

I fought back tears as I followed the boys through the sopping cow field, at least I assumed that’s what it was because it was nearly 2 in the morning and the only lights we had were our dying cellphones (which had no service, of course) and one tiny flashlight that had been jammed between the seat in the back of our too-small rental car.

It certainly smells like a cow field, I thought as my foot landed in something that felt suspiciously more squishy than sopping grass.

We were all damned lucky that we hadn’t had anything other than our pride hurt when a whopping pile of mud from the endless rain slid across the road pushing our car over an embankment and into a field. The car had refused to start, and we waited for over two hours for another vehicle to pass.

It was getting cold, so I finally said, “We can’t wait here all night.”

The boys all looked out the window and into the pouring rain.

“Look at the sign,” Gwil said pointing at something that was on the other side of the immense field. “Looks like a vacancy banner.”

“Like the boss said, we can’t wait here all night. It’s not like a cellphone tower is going to sprout up from all the rain,” Joe said.

“Pop the trunk,” I said, moving to open the door and step out into the rain.

Rami grabbed my arm and spoke in a voice that was heartbreakingly earnest.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I know,” I said, shaking him off and opening the door.

Luckily, we had all packed light and our bags were easy to carry. Rami tried to take mine and I refused; the last thing I wanted to feel at this moment was like a damsel in distress.

The walk took well over an hour, but it was exactly as Gwil said: a vacancy sign, except that none of us could have predicted that it was a place that made the Bates Motel look like a St. Regis.

We paused despite the pouring rain and looked at each other.

Joe nudged Rami, who faltered, but then took the lead and opened the ratchety front door, a chunk of sopping old paint glopping down on his shoe as he stepped through the doorframe.

We all shuffled in behind him, and it was clear the lobby was not meant for gatherings of people. Gwil and I stood elbow to elbow, a dusty shelf of outdated brochures brushing against my arm.

Rami angled himself forward and rang the rusty bell.

It made a pitiful ding that matched its home.

Rami’s hair was plastered to his head and falling into his eyes. While we waited, he slicked it back and I noticed it was almost long enough to tuck behind his ears when it was wet.

Meanwhile, Joe hadn’t missed the way I watched Rami, even in this dire circumstance. He was one of the many who knew how we felt about each other and he also knew that had been a strong part of the reason for this trip. Rami had confessed to him that he believed if he could get me to forget about the bustle of the tour, even for a day or two, he’d have a shot at figuring out if I was interested in him.

Joe’s insistence that I was just wasn’t enough. Rami wanted to be sure before he made a move, especially if it could mean turning the great dynamic we had established between all of us into something forced and uncomfortable.

“Hit it again,” Gwil said, his normally patient self becoming agitated. He hated to be dirty, and I knew he was thinking about a hot shower.

Hell, I knew we were all thinking about a hot shower.

Rami reached for the bell again, but before he could press it, a very old man shuffled out to the desk, his hoary head not more than a foot taller than the desk itself. He was wrapped up tight in a robe and there were slippers on his feet.

He began speaking in Italian and the dialect was so strong that we all looked at each other in utter confusion.

“English?” Rami asked in a desperate plea.

The old man cocked his head, little wisps of white hair billowing with his movement.

“I’m guessing that’s a no,” Gwil muttered, his voice tired.

“Rami—”

He turned around and looked at me.

“The key hooks on the wall.”

Rami nodded, his mouth puckering as he thought.

“We need rooms for the night,” Rami said, pointing to the keys on the wall. “Uh, camera, per favore.”

The man nodded, “Si, si,” and took two keys off the wall.

He began speaking once more, but Rami pointed to the last key hanging on the wall, trying to get another room in case one of the rooms was too small for all three of the boys to share.

“No, no,” the man said waving the two keys from the wall in front of Rami’s face and speaking some more.

It was clear we were getting the last two rooms the man had.

“La moneta!” he barked when Rami held his hand out for the keys, and we all reached into our bags for whatever we had in Italian currency.

The old man gave us a total and Joe counted it out. After the man recounted the money, he handed the keys to Rami and pointed toward the darkest section of the motel.

Again, we all cast a glance at each other, but once we were back outside in the pouring rain, Rami took the lead and walked off toward the dark rooms.

He tried one key, then the other and reached blindly along the wall for a light switch after the door had creaked open. A single lamp flicked on, and we were greeted by the smallest room I had ever seen. There was an ancient television propped up on a stand, one chair, and one bed that looked to be no bigger than an extra-large twin.

Rami glanced at me, then hurried to the next door, shaking the key furiously in the lock to get the door to open.

It was the same room, right down to the extra-large twin bed.

Rami looked at Joe and Gwil and said, “I don’t suppose the three of us could—”

“Oh for pete’s sake, Rami. Come on,” you said tugging his jacket’s sleeve and hauling him back into the other room.

Joe and Gwil exchanged a look, and despite their exhaustion, smiles crept across their faces.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Rami turned around and locked the chain.

With a sigh, he started to apologize again, but I cut him off.

“Rami—no one could have predicted this would happen. I’m sure we will laugh about this . . . if we don’t get axe murdered in the night.”

“Did you ever see that episode of the Twilight Zone where—”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare plant some freaky image in my mind before we have to try to fall asleep.”

Rami gave me a small smile before he finally dropped his soaked bag on to the floor.

“We may have to wring out all our clothes,” he said frowning with disgust at his wet luggage.

“First, I’m taking the hottest shower in history,” I said, marching into the bathroom, then proceeding to scream as I collided face to chest with a mostly naked Gwilym.

Rami and Joe both burst in from their doors, and then they started laughing.

“Your faces,” Joe squeaked out.

Gwil and I looked at each other and broke, laughing until we cried at the absurdity of the entire situation.

Ever the gentleman, Gwil offered the bath, and yes, it was an old clawfoot bathtub, not a shower, first.

“No—you go for it,” I said patting his shoulder and following a still chuckling Rami out of the door who was swiping at the tears that had leaked down his cheeks during his laughing fit.

I collapsed onto the uncomfortable, putrid yellow chair, a puff of laughter escaping in intermittent bursts as I remembered the feeling of my nose colliding with Gwil’s chest.

“Damnit,” I growled, leaning back in the chair.

“What is it?” Rami asked from the seat he had taken across from me on the edge of the bed.

“My shoe strings are so wet I can’t untie them and my shoes are too tight to kick off.”

“Let me try,” he said, moving to kneel in front of my shoe. “Wow—okay. That’s definitely cowshit.”

Laughter burbled up from my throat again as I stared at Rami’s fingers working my shit-covered laces, and he looked up at me, his nose crinkled, his hair a mess, and I laughed harder until he joined in.

“When you win an Oscar for Freddie, I’m going to remember this moment,” I said, smiling down at him as he freed my right foot.

“Shut up,” Rami said with a smile. “Never gonna happen.”

“Why are you so afraid to let yourself want it?”

“For the same reason you’re so afraid this tour will be a disaster,” Rami finished with a grunt as he freed my left foot and sat back on his butt, getting ready to work his own tennis shoes off.

“What?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Rami wiped his fingers on the shins of his soaked pants and looked up.

“You’re not the only one who came from almost nothing, Y/N. We recognize our own kind in this world.”

“But—”

“My parents worked really hard to make sure we had opportunities, but that was about all we had.”

“I didn’t know.”

Rami and I looked at each other, and for the first time I realized what we had in common: an insatiable hunger, a need to prove ourselves.

I know it seems like it only happens in the movies, but as soon as I made that realization, it was like a jolt of electricity went through my body. I had never wanted to kiss someone more than I did in that moment, and just as I was about to drop to the floor and close the distance, Gwil knocked from inside the bathroom.

“Your turn, Y/N!” he called.

I shook my head and stood up, hurrying into the bathroom.

By the time we had all rotated through, Joe going last and informing us with a loud, “Yikes!” that the hot water was all gone, I was exhausted and settled under the minimal covers on the bed.

Rami had been sitting in the yellow chair for the past half an hour, trying to get his cellphone to work.

“We’ll use the phone at the front desk in the morning,” I mumbled sleepily. “Let’s get some rest before the rooster crows. Cuz I guarantee there’s one roaming around out there unless the axe murderer was in the mood for chicken.”

Rami’s laughter was soft as he rose up from the chair and walked over to the light switch.

“Should we leave it on?”

“Try it.”

Rami flicked the switch and the room was plunged into darkness, but after a few moments, it was clear that the light from the vacancy sign was going to shine right through the damn-near sheer curtain covering the window.

“I think we’re okay—you locked the door, right?”

Rami fumbled along the door and double checked.

“Yup.”

I listened as he made his way back to the bed and he shuffled some sort of item of clothing off. When his cold feet accidentally connected with mine, I knew it was his socks.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Can’t stand to sleep with socks on.”

“Me either,” I said to the wall I was facing.

Rami moved around in the bed, attempting to get comfortable and to keep an appropriate distance between our bodies, but when I moved, he gasped as all the covers moved with me.

“Sorry,” I groaned.

“I think this bed is clearly meant for one person.”

“Or two people as tiny as that old man.”

Rami chuckled, and then he sighed.

“There’s a solution . . . if you’re okay with it.”

“Lay it on me, Ram.”

Rami said nothing, but he rolled onto his side and pressed his body into my back. He adjusted his arms, eventually resting his left hand in the dip at my waist.

“At least I’m getting warmer now,” I said sleepily.

Rami took that as an invitation and snuggled in deeper, sliding his arm all the way over my waist so he could spoon me.

“I really am sorry for all of this,” Rami whispered into the back of my neck.

“I’m not,” I said, reaching for his hand and pulling it up between my breasts so I could clutch it to my chest.

Rami hummed contentedly, and we both drifted off to sleep.

[spideychelleee]

My Thoughts on FFH!!!

Alrighty ladies and gents let’s examine the roller coaster of amazingness that is FFH:

Holy crap WOW

I LOVED FFH, yes it was all over the place at the beginning but it was amazing soooo

I was not expecting that tribute to our fallen heroes at the very beginning but it didn’t upset me either Whitney is always a win

I love how they made the “Blip” or whatever tf it’s called comical after how depressing it was during Infinity War and Endgame

Peter’s plan. Jesus Christ. That was the most adorable thing. He is so gone for MJ oml and honestly I was worried about his crush being rushed but Jon made it work sooooo

May and Happy.

Peter cleaning the effing bathroom when he saw MJ was gonna use it next and then doing his effing hair omg comedy gold right there

Peter buying THE NECKLACE and knowing her fav flower ughhhhh😩

That scene between Spideychelle where she explains to him her new fav Italian word was genius FRICK

Peter hitting his head on that bell not once but twice made me audibly laugh our boy can’t catch a break

When peter told nick fury how he’s worried about his classmates JEEZ I love him

Mysterio was extremely charming ngl. I knew he was gonna have to be the bad guy but I actually loved him before he went all psycho killer mode

Peter “I just wanna go back on my trip and tell MJ how I feel and maybe give her a kiss” Parker. His little laugh when he said that made me die inside

When Peter accidentally knocked Flash out HA. I love when they really show Spider-Man’s level of strength

GO AWAY BRAD NOBODY LIKES YOU LITERALLY EW

“Meet you downstairs in 10 minutes. I’ll meet you in 5 minutes”

MJ and Peters Little Walk on the Charles Bridge. They COULDNT STOP SMILING. And MJ breaking out of her shell and showing peter how excited she was that she figured out 67% his identity

Our girl MJ tryna sneak a lil peak at Peter’s ABS. Girl I feel you

Peter breaking the seatbelt. Again I love it when they show his strength

THAT FIRST ILLUSION SCENE AND ALL THE ILLUSION FIGHTS WTF AWESOME

Peter saying “it’s not real” but then still diving after MJ when mysterio dropped her

That iron man zombie was not. ok. Mysterio.

When we all thought nick fury shot mysterio and the day was saved but then NOPE HERE COMES A TRAIN

Peter all beat up was precious and he doesn’t deserve this

I refuse to believe Peter watched porn but HA COMEDY GOLD RIGHT THERE

Happy really came through stitching peter up and then peter getting all angry and yelling but then IMMEDIATELY apologizing for shouting omg my heart he is so pure

That whole London fight scene was amazing. When peter grabbed a sign and something else I can’t remember and used it as a shield was so badass ugh

MJ and that mace. I love her

Here we go people

MJ telling peter she has trouble getting close to people. I love that she’s opening up to him they really did her character justice

Peter apologizing for the broken necklace. But MJ likes it better broken cuz poetic cinema and wow that’s deep. Especially with her closed off nature, the fact that they lost five years of their life with no say. Gawd

MJ stopping peters rambling with a KISS

“And you kissed me”

Peter nervously pecking MJs lips and standing on his TIP TOES YEP I SAW THAT

THAT THIRD KISS. Her hand on his neck. His hand on her arm. They are so pure someone help me

That holding hands at the airport scene and Peters little “awww thanks” when MJ said she pays attention to him

Ned and Betty being a typical and accurate high school relationship was amazing

Peter literally throwing and letting go of MJ while she is screaming at the top of her lungs in the very last shot

WTF WHO WHAT WHY DO THEY THINK ITS OK TO DO THAT TO PETER BENJAMIN PARKER. MYSTERIO I SWEAR TO GOD WTF MAN. WHY YOU GOTTA OUT OUR SMALL BOY LIKE THAT WTF IS HE GONNA DO. WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THAT

Jk Simmons is back and I almost kinda cried of nostalgia? I wasn’t expecting that wave of emotion to hit me but it did. I remember watching all of the Raimi movies as a kid and seeing spiderman 3 in the movie theaters as like a 7 year old and I got kinda emotional seeing him again idk

Omg WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE PETER TINGLE

I LOVED THAT RUNNING JOKE THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE

WHEN HE REDIRECTS THE GUN AWAY FROM HIS HEAD WITH HIS PETER TINGLE SHIT THAT WAS HOT

Anywho if you made it this far I love you thanks for reading.

[omgjasminesimone]

Homecoming Part 4

Author’s Note: We’re nearing the end! Just one more part after this I think.

Summary: Bryce and Casey attend Abigail’s wedding. They both drink too much. 

Word Count: ~ 3600

Previous Part: Part 3

Next Part: Part 5

Bryce sighs dramatically as he takes a seat at the long dinner table. It has been quite a long day and he just wants to get back to Casey and his hotel room.

Ryan had set a very early appointment for the tux rental fitting, followed with an awkward breakfast with all the groomsmen. Bryce knows most of them from prep school, and Francis is a groomsman too, but he doesn’t like any of these people, so he would have much preferred brunch with Casey.

Bryce was distracted during the rehearsal, thinking about what Casey might be doing at the moment. She told him she was going to go on one of the hotel excursions, a hike to Manoa Falls. He wanted to text her throughout the day, but knew she likely didn’t have cell reception.

His entire family was at the rehearsal, and it was the first time he’s had to interact with them without Casey as a buffer the whole trip.

It was almost unbearable. His mother was completely overbearing, seemingly in charge of every aspect of this wedding and directing the rehearsal like some kind of deranged dictator.

Francis and his father brought up the real estate business at every opportunity, but he ignored them to the best of his ability.

Maybe worst or all, Abigail has paired him with his ex-girlfriend for all the wedding party duties.

He and Tia dated his senior year of high school, and then two more years while he was at the University of Hawaii. She’s pretty, long blonde hair, big blue eyes, the kind of girl his father approves of. She was probably his first love. He can’t remember exactly why they broke up. He vaguely remembers a huge fight. And that she had cried.

She seems to have forgiven him though, spending most of the time at the wedding rehearsal flirting with him. He brought up his current girlfriend several times, but Tia is undeterred.

Even now, she’s trying to play footsies with him at the dinner table. He moves his foot away subtly.

“Sir, are you ready to order?”

The waitress’ question leads him to glance through the fancy French food on the menu. Ryan’s parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, and they’ve picked the most expensive French restaurant in Honolulu to showcase their wealth. They can’t be upstaged by Kate Lahela’s opulent displays.

Bryce hates rich people food. “Can your chef make a custom order? Burger and fries?”

The waitress looks taken aback. “Umm... probably?”

Bryce flashes her a megawatt smile. “Thanks.”

She continues around the table, collecting more orders. Bryce pulls out his phone, sending a text to Casey.

Bryce: how was your hike?

He immediately sees the dots indicating she’s responding.

Casey: Amazing!!! ❤️❤️❤️

A series of photos follow, the breathtaking views from her hike making him smile.

Bryce: glad you had fun. hope you weren’t too lonely 😔

Casey: I wasn’t lonely. You know how easy it is for me to make friends.

Casey: I met a couple on their honeymoon and they let me hang out with them.

Casey: They even invited me to dinner. We went to this Italian place and the pasta was soooo good. 🤤

Bryce: and what are you doing now?

Casey: Took a long shower, and now I’m in bed watching A Star is Born.

Casey: Lady Gaga is so talented.

Bryce: in bed? what are you wearing?

Bryce: (hoping you’re naked) 🤞🏽

Casey: Not naked, but I’m in that teddy that you like. I’m waiting for you to come rip it off me.

Bryce bites his lip, reading her last message again.

A photo comes through, Casey posed seductively in the bed in that deep red silk teddy. It’s not a selfie.

Bryce: who took this?!

Bryce: is that couple with you?

There’s a slight pause before he sees she’s typing again.

Casey: I used the timer you jealous dork. 😂

Bryce chuckles a little under his breath, his jealousy dispelling. He scrolls back up to the photo, eyes scanning over her greedily.

His uncle lets out a low whistle, glancing at his screen. “Damn Bryce, you did good.”

Bryce flushes and immediately pockets his phone, his uncle Tito chuckling beside him.

Dinner takes forever, countless speeches by friends and family about the bride and groom. His own speech is short and to the point. After what feels like eternity, but is really 3 hours, he’s finally able to get in his rental car and head back to the hotel.

He practically jogs from the elevator to their room, shoving his keycard in the door impatiently.

“Baby, I’m home-” He begins, trailing off when he sees she’s asleep. She’s snoring softly and the tv is still on, bathing her in a blue glow.

He turns off the tv, shrugging out of his suit jacket. After a quick shower, he climbs into bed beside her, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her forehead before falling into a deep slumber. He dreams about returning to Boston in just two days time. He’s ready, he’s had more than enough family time.

...

..

.

Bryce arrives at the church where Abigail and Ryan will be married very early in the morning. He’s unsure why his mother insisted on such an early time, since the men all spend the time awkwardly sitting around after getting ready in less than 30 minutes. He can only assume it takes the women longer.

When Abigail, his mother, and the bridesmaids are finally ready, it’s time for photos. They must take over a thousand photos, moving around the church, then outside the church, and then, hey, why don’t we get a view of the ocean, now how about a view of the church? It’s never ending, and he’s exhausted.

They finally get a lunch break, food laid out on the picnic tables outside the church. He can’t help but laugh as his sister delicately tries to eat some pineapple without ruining her lipstick. She’s covered her dress with a large bib to ensure it remains pristine and white.

“Abs, want me to chew it for you? Then I can regurgitate it into your mouth like a mama bird.” He jokes.

She flips him her middle finger, with a perfectly manicured French tip, and continues to slice the pineapple into minuscule pieces with a knife.

Tia tosses her lunch trash and approaches the table where he’s sitting alone. All morning, she’s been using the photos as an excuse to hang all over him, somehow almost always managing to end up on his arm.

“I saw some guests heading in when I went to the bathroom. Almost time to get this show on the road. We’re almost free!” Tia exclaims excitedly.

Bryce quirks a small smile. “You really should have declined her bridesmaid invitation. You know how our mom is. There was no way she wasn’t turning into a complete momzilla and making this whole process a living hell.”

“You didn’t refuse either.” She points out.

“They didn’t give me much of a choice.” Bryce insists.

“Well, it’s not all bad. I like these blue bridesmaid dresses. And I do get to hang out with you.” She grips his arm.

He peels her off. “Tia, I told you. I have a girlfriend.”

“A girlfriend isn’t a wife.” She retorts, winking cheekily.

“No, but one day she’ll be my wife. Casey is the one.”

Tia looks more hurt by that than he expected. The hurt on her face is quickly replaced with anger, and she storms away from him.

“Well damn, I guess Bria isn’t happening.” Abigail laments, throwing away the packaging from her lunch.

He rolls his eyes at the old couple name she used to call them. “Why would you pair me with her Abs? You knew I had a girlfriend.”

“To be fair, I hadn’t met Casey yet, so my loyalty was 100 percent with my girl Tia. I really like Casey though, I think she’s good for you. But it’s too late to change the pairings for walking down the aisle now, so just grin and bear it.”

“I’ve been grinning and bearing all day.” He retorts.

She smiles at him sadly. “Yeah, me too.”

Bryce becomes uncharacteristically serious. His little sister can always bring out his protective side. “Abigail, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, our parents would love if I pulled a runaway bride. Can you imagine what all those hundreds of guests would say? ‘First, she gets knocked up as a teen, now she runs away from her very appropriate and wealthy fiancé, what’s wrong with that Abigail Lahela?’” She chuckles mirthlessly.

“Who cares what they’ll say? You don’t even have to stay here. You and Haku could move in with me in Boston. I have a guest room.”

“Bryce, I’m a big girl now. It’s time to get out on my own. Ryan is a good guy. He treats me well and this is an important business connection. I married for love before, and that didn’t work out too great for me.”

“Wow Abs. They’ve really brainwashed you. You sound just like our parents.”

“Whatever Bryce.” Abigail mutters before heading back over to her bridesmaids.

They go back into the bride’s and groom’s dressing rooms in the church, retouching makeup and preparing to finally walk down the aisle.

The wedding coordinator Mrs. Lahela hired appears. She looks frazzled, like she can’t wait to get paid and be done with this wedding. “It’s go time people.”

The wedding party splits into their assigned pairs. Haku fidgets nervously at Bryce’s side. He puts a reassuring hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “You’re going to be a great ring bearer kid.”

Traditional Hawaiian music starts playing. This is something their dad was against, but Abigail managed to get him to agree to her being in charge of one thing at her own wedding, the playlist.

Francis and Gabrielle are the first pair down the aisle. A few more pairs go before it’s Bryce’s turn. He offers Tia his arm, and she smiles at him.

They walk down the long aisle, to where Ryan is standing at the altar. They split off from each other, Bryce joining the groomsmen behind Ryan.

Bryce searches the room for Casey as the maid of honor and best man conclude the aisle walk.

He spots her in the aisle seat of the fourth row. She’s so beautiful, in a silver strapless gown that hugs her in all the right places. Her curls are up in a delicate updo, light makeup accentuating the look. He has no idea how he got so lucky with her. He throws her a flirtatious wink, and she blows him a kiss in return.

Haku and the flower girls, who are Lahela cousins, walk down the aisle. Haku stands beside Ryan and he claps his soon to be stepson on the shoulder reassuringly.

Finally, the wedding march starts. Abigail comes down the aisle on her father’s arm. Bryce has to stop himself from scoffing at the smug look on Aoloa’s face. He’s probably already counting the money this union will bring him.

…

..

.

The reception is held immediately following the ceremony at the Lahela mansion. Bryce grabs a drink from cocktail hour in the formal dining room before heading out to the backyard.

His mother has really outdone herself. There are literally peacocks strolling around. Twinkling lights and lanterns add to the party atmosphere. A large tent is set up, with a dance floor and dinner tables.

Bryce strolls over to the tables, frowning when he sees a place card for Mr. Bryce Lahela on an elevated table at the front of the tent. Not only does the Mr. instead of Dr. bother him, he also wants to sit with Casey, not the wedding party.

He feels like he’s barely seen her over the last two days. He spots her at one of the circular tables where she’s currently sitting alone since most of the guests are still at cocktail hour. She’s sipping on a tropical cocktail.

He takes the seat beside her, glancing at the place card. Mr. Joseph Grant, an older gentleman who owns a private beach and beach club. A notorious bachelor, who will likely spend the entire evening flirting with Bryce’s girlfriend.

He frowns, glancing at the other place cards and seeing that this table is full of Lahela business contacts. His mother could have at least placed Casey with fun people, like his cousins and uncles. Or his friends.

He tosses Joseph’s place card to the ground, claiming the seat for himself.

“Amor, it seems like your mother put a lot of effort into these seating arrangements.” Casey gently chides.

Bryce takes Casey’s hand, placing a kiss to her palm. “Don’t care. I’ve barely gotten to see you baby.”

Casey smiles. “I missed you too. But I’m not going to let you steal Mr. Grant’s seat.”

“Fine.” He stands and easily picks her up, sitting in her seat instead and placing her in his lap.

Bryce kisses her shoulder, and then her neck. Her skin is so soft, and she smells like something he can’t quite place, but it’s flowery. “You smell amazing.”

“I went to the hotel spa this morning and got a scrub. I forgot my purse, so I charged it to the room, but I’m going to pay you back.”

“No, you won’t.” He nibbles below her earlobe. “Very willing to pay for this moment right here.”

Casey laughs, turning slightly so she can capture his lips. “Your mom is glaring at us.”

She is. The guests have started to migrate to the tent, and Mrs. Lahela is sitting at the wedding party table he’s supposed to be at.

“Let her glare.” He rubs gentle circles in her side through the silky fabric of her dress.

“I still want her to like me Amor. You should get back to your seat. Please.”

Bryce frowns, but Casey knows he can’t refuse her anything. “Fine, but you owe me later. Save me a dance.”

She stands so he can leave. “I’ll save you several.”

Before he leaves, Bryce grabs a pen out of Casey’s purse on the floor. He crosses out the Ms. on her place card, replacing it with Dr. “We didn’t go through medical school to not be referred to as Dr.” He reasons.

Casey laughs, kissing him one more time before he walks off.

When he returns to his assigned seat, he uses the borrowed pen to correct his own place card as well. ‘That’s Dr. Bryce Lahela to you.’ he imagines himself retorting if his brother or father bring up the real estate business one more damn time.

…

..

.

The newlyweds’ first dance concludes, Ryan hugging Abigail close and placing a kiss to her forehead.

“And now the dance floor is officially open!” The DJ announces, John Legend’s You and I coming over the speakers.

Bryce is quick to hop down from the wedding party table. Now that dinner, the speeches, and the first dance are all done, he’s finally completed his groomsman duties. Time to actually enjoy himself.

He spots Casey over by the open bar with his uncles. He approaches, wrapping his arms around her from behind. She leans back into his touch.

“Aren’t they adorable?” Tito asks the assembled group. “Definitely more in love than the newlyweds.”

Bryce grins. “Sorry to steal her, but I was promised a dance.”

“And dance we shall, but first peacock selfie!” Casey detangles herself from his arms, pulling him to the edge of the lawn where the peacocks have gathered. “I can’t believe your mom rented peacocks! This is definitely going to be my most liked pictagram photo ever.”

She’s clearly a little drunk. Since he was at the wedding party table all night, he had to settle for the champagne he was expected to drink after every toast. But Casey’s been free to hit the open bar, and he’s watched her take full advantage.

They crouch near the prettiest peacock, Casey fiddling with her phone and struggling to unlock it.

Bryce pulls out his own phone, unlocking it easily and snapping a selfie while he kisses Casey on the cheek.

He shows her the photo. “It’s cute!” She exclaims, so he chuckles and uploads it to his own pictagram account.

“Alright, now we dance.” Bryce declares, intertwining their fingers and leading her back to the dance floor.

The song has changed to Bruno Mars’ Just the Way You Are. Appropriate. “Girl you’re amazing, just the way you are.” Bryce sings in her ear, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“I love you Bryce.” Casey says softly when the song ends, hands rising from his shoulders to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I love you too Casey.” He promises before capturing her lips.

They gently sway to several more songs before Bryce is interrupted by a finger tapping on his shoulder.

“Dearest, so sorry to interrupt but the ambassador’s son is here, and I’ve spent so much time gushing over you that he wants to meet you.” His mother explains, not looking all that sorry to be interrupting.

Bryce sighs irritably. He hates mingling. It’s one of the worst parts about his mother’s parties.

“I’ll be right back.” He promises Casey.

She waves him off. “Take your time.”

…

..

.

Of course, his mother doesn’t just want to introduce him to the ambassador and his family, she parades him around the whole place. Brags about what an accomplished surgeon he is, how proud she is. All for appearances of course, she’d been just as against medical school as his father.

The open bar helps him get through it, stopping to get another drink between each group his mother insists on introducing him to.

He’s more than a little tipsy when he finally manages to slip away almost an hour later, immediately looking for Casey. He spots her at a dinner table, drinking with his friends.

She’s very drunk, he realizes almost immediately. She looks like she’s about to fall asleep at the table.

“What did you guys do to her?” Bryce playfully accuses, taking the seat beside Casey and allowing her to lean on his shoulder.

“She thought she could out drink me. I told her she couldn’t.” His oldest friend announces smugly.

“I’m…. not … conceiting…. confeated…” she mumbles drunkenly.

“Conceding.” Bryce helpfully supplies.

“That! I can out drink you. I just need a little break first. Maybe some water.” She reaches for the water pitcher, knocking it over accidentally.

His friends chuckle as Casey pouts. “Okay Dr. Valentine, time to concede. Let’s get you to bed.” Bryce says before lifting Casey and cradling her to his chest.

“Bed? We’re staying here?” Casey asks, playing with his blue tie as he carries her.

“Well you sure as hell can’t drive. And I’m a little drunk too.” He explains, entering the house and carefully climbing the steps towards his childhood room.

He gently deposits her on his bed, removing her shoes and clothes. He changes her into his old T-shirt and high school gym shorts. He admires her for a moment, pushing her curls out of her face since her updo has long since come undone.

He’s about to get up, but she grips his arm. “Stay.” She pleads sleepily.

Bryce kisses her forehead. “I’m just going to say goodbye to my friends and my uncles. I’ll be right back.”

Casey nods, yawning and releasing him. She rolls onto her side, and he turns out the lights before leaving the room.

Bryce returns to the backyard just in time for the beer pong tournament his Uncle Tito has started. His mother would never allow this, it’s too low class for her tastes, but she’s turned in for the night. She’s probably chugging a bottle of wine, finally away from prying eyes.

Bryce loves beer pong, so of course he joins. But he’s already tipsy, so he’s not as good as usual. He finds himself missing several shots, being forced to drink more and more as Uncle Tito hits almost all his shots.

An hour later, Bryce is definitely drunk. He stumbles into the house, heading towards the guest bathroom. He’s about to turn the door knob when the door opens, surprising him. Tia crashes into his chest.

He steadies them both by wrapping his arms around her. He’s trapped against the hallway wall, Tia leaning against him.

Tia glances up at him, smiling. “You smell like beer.”

He smiles back, the room is spinning, but he tries to focus. “You smell like vanilla. Are you still using that same perfume?”

“You remembered.” Tia says softly, her hands tightening in his white dress shirt.

Suddenly she leans up, aggressively pressing her lips to his.

If he was sober, he would have stopped this immediately. Pushed her away and quickly returned to Casey, the love of his life. But he’s so drunk. And her lips feel nice, and taste like the strawberry lip gloss she was always so fond of.

He kisses Tia back, hands tangling into her hair. Her blonde tresses are silky and smooth, so different from Casey’s dark curls. And that’s enough to break the drunken spell. To make him realize what he’s doing. That he’s cheating on Casey.

Glass shatters at the exact moment that he pulls away.

Bryce’s wide eyes meet Casey’s. The glass of water she was bringing to his room shattered on the expensive tile floor.  

…

..

.

Author’s Note: You’re probably wondering why I did this. And to be honest, I’m wondering the same thing. But the idea just came to me and I wanted some angst and conflict. 

Taglist:  @octobereighth @sibella-plays-choices @hazah @akrenich @lovehugsandcandy @professorortegasstudent @regina-and-happiness @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicesarehard @lizeboredom @desiree-0816 @hellooliviaolivia @dreaming-of-movies @friedherringclodthing @weaving-in-words @fairydustandsarcasm @goldenjellyfish12 @pessimystic-fangirl @mimikoasahina @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl  @god-save-the-keen @caroldxnvxrs @cora-nova

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)