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vitamin-writes-blog · 7 years ago

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Hypothermal Courage (Jesse McCree x Reader)

(You’ll pry this cliche from my cold dead hands (Get it? Because hypothermia? Well at least I make myself laugh :P ))

Am I blind, or can I just not open my eyes?

I whimpered, wailed, but I could barely hear myself. It was as if an old artic frost had slithered into my ears and frozen the eardrums solid. My head lolled to the side, hitting a hard, metallic surface. Through the thin skin of my cheek, its last wisps of warmth seeped into me. My mind began to teeter into the abyss, but something urgent, a primal, yellow fear streaked through my consciousness, jerking me back from the edge. I had to stay awake. If I wanted to survive, I had to stay absolutely, painfully awake.

A moan wrenched itself from my belly, and I summoned all the willpower left within me just to peel back my eyelids a sliver, groaning at the effort. The first image that greeted my wakeful gaze were the big, block letters O-R-C-A, the O halfway buried in the permafrost. A memory was scratching at my skull. Where was I? What was I doing before waking up here? With much headache, I managed barely to recall flashing red lights, yelling, plastic cushions pushing into my back and breast, someone’s hand gripping mine.

Oh God.

We were shot down somewhere over Russia. After the Gibraltar ambush, Jack rounded up the last surviving agents on base and put us all on a one-way flight to some remote Chinese watchpoint. Where was he now? Who else was with us? I think it was… me, Jack, Tracer… Genji… Jesse…? Was Angela with us? Or Winston? Fighting against my creaking spine, I lifted my head to scan the debris. Nobody to see on top of the snow, but so much of the ship had sunken beneath the white dunes that there was no way to tell for sure if we’d suffered any casualties.

I wanted to stay, to search for my companions, but if I didn’t spend what little reserved energy I had to search for help, I would be dead by nightfall.

Once the crash-site faded into the distant mist, stunningly white fields stretched infinitely away from me in all directions, causing me to strain my eyes, and all the while I felt as if I had wandered into another plane of existence. Travel was slow-going, and the only reason I didn’t collapse after the first aches rattled through my femurs was because my brain convinced itself it would take more effort halt the inertia of my legs than to just let them trudge on. Figured I would just keep going until my legs disagreed with my head.

Eventually the hours bled together. It had been daylight for so long, but the sun continued to glare down on me, regardless of my insistence that it shouldn’t. The scenery was just as changeless, and I doubted I could navigate my way anywhere even if Polaris himself were shining like big, bright beacon above my head instead of that suffering sun. At that point, someone could have probably convinced me that, if I made an about face and started walking, I would be heading in the same direction I was before.

God, I just wanted it to end. Even death seemed preferable to this brand of purgatory. I tried desperately to distract myself by piecing together the jigsaw memories from the crash, yet I could only make it as far as the emergency harnesses clamping down over us, and it kept repeating in my head: a preamble for a preamble.

…

I’m going to die.

Sometime after my limbs went numb, I’d accepted it. Death at that point would’ve been an honest relief. It was the getting buried, forlorn and forgotten, in the middle of a Siberian wasteland as fruitless as my life, that I refused to accept. There were so many things I’d intended to do: see more of the world, do some good, but out of everything left unfinished, there was nothing I regretted more than not telling Jesse how I felt about him. The void it left, black and vast and oceanic, churned in the deep trenches of my gut.

In that moment, I promised myself: no more timidity, no more cowardice. The next time I found Jesse, I would tell him how I felt.

I faded in and out for a while I’m pretty sure. I only assume because a house appeared on the horizon not too long after I formed that pact with myself. More of a shack than a house really. It sat, sunken and depressed under a roof-full of snow. The walk to its modest front porch was the longest of my life, but finally I moaned, dropping to my knees a few feet from the door. I think I knocked, but it might’ve been my head slamming against the wood.

The very next moment, a pair of broad hands scooped me up by the arms.

“Oh my God! Darlin’?! Sweetheart, are you okay?! Look at me sweet pea! C’mon, let me see those pretty eyes!”

“Jesse? Jesse, I’m- I’m gonna die Jesse.” I wept. Everything was fuzzy. My eyes strained from rolling back into my skull.

“Hush darlin’, shh, I can’t understand a word you’re sayin’. Save your energy okay? C’mere, let’s get you inside.”

Suddenly the ceiling spun above me, moving without me. Jesse and I changed rooms, and without the agency to move or speak, I simply slouched my head back as Jesse carried me into what looked like a living room. A blessed fire crackled in an ancient fireplace across from a ratty green couch. Gently, Jesse sat me on the scratchy fabric and began unzipping my suit. I made a noise in protest.

“Sorry darlin’. Not tryin’ to be immodest, but if I don’t getcha outta these clothes, I’m afraid you’ll freeze that cute little ass off.” He chuckled nervously. Now that I was warming up, I could feel myself shivering, quite violently. Vexed by the sensation, I tried to calm my nerves, but I kept hopelessly knocking against McCree’s hands as he peeled the leather away.

Eventually everything but my underwear was slopped onto the wooden floor. Quickly, Jesse unraveled the serape from his shoulders and wrapped me up tight enough that my chest had trouble expanding. He then leaned over me, grabbing a blanket draped over the back of the couch, and scooped me up once more. He swaddled me like a baby and pressed me into his chest as he sat down. His warm hands slithered below the blankets to rub my arms and back, his body hunched over me and burning like a furnace. I felt the butt of his chin dig into my crown, pulling my head nose first into his neck.

My breathing remained labored for a good while, but my wits started returning to me, and the more self-aware I became, the more I shivered: partly from the bone-deep chill and partly from the closeness to Jesse. My nerves jittered beneath my skin, and I could finally process how close I was to dying out there. I could’ve burned alive in the crash; I could’ve been buried in ice. My fight or flight instincts suddenly kicked it into overdrive, and I gripped onto Jesse’s shoulder, tense, heart beating fast.

“Jesse! Jesse I-“ I blurted.

“Woah now, It’s okay! You’re okay. Relax darlin’ please. Your nails are diggin’ into me like cat claws.” Jesse jostled me in his arms, but it didn’t stop me. It was now or never; without this adrenaline rush, I may never have the courage again.

“No, Jesse. I gotta tell you something.” I choked. He paused for a moment, giving me a contemplative look. I watched his brown eyes flicker as he stared at me. I cleared my throat.

“Jesse I… Out there, in the snow, I realized that there was a lot in my life that I regretted not doing. I wanted to travel more, do some good for the world with Overwatch, be a better friend to my coworkers, be a better person in general. But there was one thing that I regretted the most. Jesse… we’ve been friends for years now, and… and I understand if you don’t feel the same way but… I’m not so sure I want to be just friends anymore. Jesse I, I love you. And I had to tell you while I still had the courage to.”

Jesse swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. I could see his lips twitch. Then he…

He laughed.

Laughed!

Wow, I knew Jesse could be an asshole at times, but I didn’t expect him to just- rub my feelings in the dirt. All that pent-up energy came gushing forth all at once when I let out an ugly sob. Reflexively I slapped a hand over my mouth to stop the crying, but big fat tears still rolled incessantly down my cheeks. Jesse stopped his laughing, grabbing onto my face to wipe the tears away with his thumb. A smile still struggled on his face as his eyebrows drew up in concern.

“Sweet pea, why’re you cryin’?” He asked. I shoved his hands away.

“If-If you didn’t l-like me like that, a-all you had t-to do was say so! Instead of laughing like some- some stupid asshole!” The last few words were breathless, unable to carry the force with which I felt them.

“No, no no darlin’ that’s- that’s not why I’m laughin’.” Jesse began chuckling again, and I just kept hiccupping, no longer having the energy to push him away when he clung me to his chest, rocking me back and forth.

“It’s just, I didn’t expect to be confessed to twice in one day!”

What?

“What?” I asked into his flannel shirt. Jesse’s chest rumbled with the last few of his laughs before he held me out to face him. His eyes sparkled with a familiar mischievousness that I found so charming in the first place. He smiled fondly at me and ran his knuckles down my face.

“You don’t remember, do you? The ORCA was goin’ down. You and I sat next to each other in the emergency seats. I remember everything bein’ so loud: the engines, the siren, the missles. But even over all that I heard your voice, crystal-clear.” He let out an airy laugh. “You turned to me and said, ‘Jesse, if we make it out of this alive, you’re taking me out to dinner.’ I remember my heart beatin’ so fast. I grabbed your hand and I said, ‘like a date?’ and you said, ‘Not like a date. It is a date.’ And hell if I’ve never been more turned on in my life. Didn’t know you had such an assertive streak in you darlin’. And I got to see it twice today. Lucky me.” He laughed again and pulled me close, nuzzling his nose to mine. I huffed humorlessly with a grin on my face, wiping around Jesse to get at the tear tracks on my skin. After a few moments, Jesse’s beard dragged lazily down my jaw and neck until his forehead was buried in my shoulder.

��Been wantin’ to do this for a while now.” He said, his voice muffled by my skin. “Jus’ never seemed like the right time to tell you.” He admitted. “Figured I’d get blown to pieces one day and never have to worry about it at all, iffi’n I’m bein’ honest.”

“Heh, yeah… I really didn’t think I would ever tell you how I felt either. You never seemed to be interested in me like that.” I admitted as well. He scoffed.

“The hell’re you talkin’ about? I’m pretty sure I was flirtin’ with you hardcore back in Gibraltar.”

“Aw, c’mon. You do that with everyone Jesse.”

He seemed offended.

“Hey now, I do not. I don’t know where you got that notion from, but in case you’re as thick as those pretty eyelashes of yours, all of my attention was on you.” He said matter-of-factly. “Maybe you just didn’t want to admit it. Always were a little shy. Took me eons, felt like, just to get you to open up to me. ‘S alright though; always thought it was kinda cute.” He smiled and tucked some hair behind my ear. I sighed, also smiling, running a hand over my face. I didn’t tell him he was wrong because he wasn’t, and he knew he wasn’t too. What a smartass.

We fell silent for a moment. The fireplace washed us in warm hues, leaving the quiet corners of the room blanketed in a homey darkness. I looked around from my spot in Jesse’s lap and discovered that night had finally, mercifully fallen. The frosted cottage window let me see into the world, into its bright stars and navy sky that seemed so far away from Jesse and me. Vibrations hummed through my ribs as Jesse quietly sang an old country song, a habit he indulged in whenever he found himself particularly content with a situation. The smell of his tobacco and vanilla scent mingling with the char from the fire, the feeling of his fingers lovingly threaded through mine: these sensations together lulled me halfway to sleep. In a quiet voice, Jesse started talking.

“Genji was the only other person I could find in that crash. His metal enhancements make him a little hardier than us plain ol’ flesh and blood people, which means he left me to warm up in this cabin while he took off towards a village about two miles north of here. Found it on a map in the kitchen. He should be back soon with help. Then we’ll go dig through the crash site for the others.” He said quietly. His free hand kept idly petting my hair. I’d always known Jesse to be rough and a little crass, so it genuinely surprised me at how gentle he could be.

“I looked for you y’know.” He whispered. “It scared me damn near to death when I couldn’t find you. I flipped over every piece of shrapnel that wasn’t bigger than I could possibly budge, but I couldn’t find you. And then when you showed up at the door, looking like you were holdin’ death’s hand… It made me wish I’d looked harder.”

“You did what you could Jesse. I don’t-“

“Hush. Hush now. I ain’t sayin’ this to start a pity party. What I’m sayin’ is, this whole thing made me realize that I don’t want to waste any more of my time without you. So from now own, would you mind keepin’ this old cowboy company?” He asked. I smiled.

“Of course Jesse. Nothing would make me happier.”

Jesse grinned at me and leaned down. His forehead rested against mine, both of our eyes closed, and I felt his heavy breath heat my lips. My breathing hitched as his lips barely brushed mine. He gently swept them side to side, making my lips tingle before finally pressing all the way in. It was smooth and wet and warm, and he lingered there, letting us enjoy each other for the first time. Pulling away made a soft sucking sound that caused my face to flush. Jesse chuckled and kissed my cheek.

“And I love you too, by the way.” He whispered.

Sighing, I reached my arms to wrap around his neck, the blanket falling off my bare skin and pooling around our waists.

The door slammed open.

It was Genji.

“Jesse! I have returned with good news! I found the others! They made it to that village a few hours before I did, but unfortunately we still need to go back and look for- oh! She’s here. And, she’s naked?!”

Yeah, we never lived that one down.

#mccree x reader #jesse mccree x reader #mccree #jesse mccree #overwatch #overwatch imagines #mccree imagine #overwatch fanfic

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