#okay. this isn't funny any more
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THE X FILES (1993 - 2018) ✰ (5.05) the travelers
#i know these are. awful#I suck at coloring dark scenes anyway but add that into a not so great quality video :/#flashing tw#flashing gif tw#the x files#txf#txfedit#thexfilesedit#fox mulder#agent mulder#agent fox mulder#david duchovny#scifiedit#scifi#change my url so much i decided to just use my name for my watermark alskdjf#made by me#gifs#*#okay. this isn't funny any more#I need him on his knees
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It's ironic how Batman is painted as irresponsible for having children fighting as his side (ignoring how said children would still fight without him), but never other heroes, HOWEVER the moment the Teen Titans/Young Justice wants to do something dangerous or comes back from doing something dangerous, he is literally the only responsible adult out of the Justice League. Like, the others are simply like "I'm so proud of you!" but Batman is lecturing his kids about how dangerous it was, how they didn't even told him where they were going, how they didn't contact him about their well-being enough, about how difficult it would have been for him to come help if they needed it... He's straight-up acting like a parent that found out his kid sneaked out, but they didn't came back until later the next day, and never called to tell them they were alive.
Bruce is portrayed as the "unfunny" one when one of his teenage kids is like "the team and I wants to do this dangerous thing unsupervised", because every other adult is fine with their own doing it, but like, he is being the responsible one. Yeah, a responsible parent would not be like "sure sweetie, go fight this dangerous thing with your teenage friends", they would be like "No, you could get hurt. Yes, I trust you, but this is not safe".
Sometimes, he isn't overprotective, he is normal-level-protective for when your kid is a "vigilante that fights people who will kill them without regret" as a hobby, and the others are being careless (no hate to them tho)
#bruce wayne#batman#justice league#teen titans#young justice#dc comics#my ramblings#It's not okay to put a tracker on your kid even if they are in a gang#but when your kid is in a gang of vigilante fighting crime hours away or worst galaxy away it's the minimum#if y'all have ever heard about how the “funny dad/serious mom” is a father not being a parent and the mother parenting on her own#Bruce is a victim of this he is the “serious mom” while the other heroes are the “funny dad”#people dislikes him because he is not fun he isn't letting the kids do whatever they want#but the reality is that he is simply parenting his kids surrounded by adults who aren’t#again not hating on any heroes I think it's more about the writers in general#but like do you want an essay about gender roles and their impacts on comics a world dominated by man???#probably not
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FE Secret Santa (10/10)
Robin(male) for @silversongmsp
My final submission of the year for the @feshippingpolls secret santa event
#fanart#myart#fire emblem#okay checking some things off tag wise just in case#tw gore#tw body horror#tw horror#tw mutilation#tw eye imagery#let me know if theres any i missed and i'll try to add them <:>#or in other words#ask to tag#fe robin#ah the final secret santa i have to make for this year#honestly was expecting the whole thing to go longer for me#not that im complaining it gives me time to finish up my assignments#(although i do find it a lil funni that im prob the reason next time is gonna have a limit of five submissions per person)#i think this one im gonna ramble a bit more then the other ones#because awakening was my first fire emblem game and i have a lot of feelings about it#hell got a lot of feelings about robin as a character too#like dude is really fitting for the story of awakening#destined to destroy the world and be the death of all he loves#really one put in the situation and having knowledge of what you're supposed to be-#-how are you supposed to live if you know it won't last?#is it better to become numb to it all so you won't be heartbroken?#or let yourself have a bleeding heart knowing there isn't anything you can do about it?#defying destiny has always been a trope i love especially in the context of un-dooming the narrative#yes the future was saved but so was somebody destined to destroy it#i just think that's really cool#and whether you view the relationship between Chrom and Robin as romantic or platonic or any other option
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you know what, fuck it. time to post stuff for my in stars and time club penguin crossover because i'm cringe and free
Agent/Ace as Siffrin Rookie as Mirabelle Dot as Isabeau Sensei as Odile Klutzy as Bonnie
there's more characters i have as penguins but those are the main party!
agent is created by @tofudemaru
also ISAT spoilers below:
ace getting a little quirky and mal du pays ace
#meepo art#club penguin#penguinronpa#in stars and time#ISAT club penguin au#agent penguinronpa#rookie#dot the disguise gal#sensei#klutzy the crab#okay so. tags notes:#yes i know it's funny to make any character a crab in an au for a universe where crabs are hated#and funnier given how many times bonnie says crab in the game#but it made sense given who siffrin was in this au!!!#jet pack guy would have made equal sense as isabeau and jpg would be isa if rookie was siffrin#but i went with dot because dotgent and the surprising amount of things they have in common#and of course. agent siffrin isn't just because protags™#these two motherfuckers have a shocking amount in common that i don't want to get into because i'm already clogging my damn tags#send me an ask if you want more info about au idk#and one more thing. i would tag insertdisc5 but yet again. it would too embarassing to tag her in a club penguin related about her game lma
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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@togrieve4 put the idea in my head and now i can't stop thinking of theo being there when rakiel meets king harnant. of theo seeing how this man, proud and dignified the way a monarch has to be, cracks the moment his son's illness comes into play. how he broke down a door to see his child and how he has been counting the days since he last saw him. how it breaks his heart to have his kid hide away in his room but cannot bear to be cruel enough to force him out of it.
theo who went to beg his father to not humiliate his brother in front of thousands of people, to not be so cruel as to make his defeat a public affair to be gossiped about only to be immediately dismissed. theo who basically gave up on life and spent a year hidden away in his palace with an eating disorder that would've probably killed him if rakiel hadn't intervened. theo who must've known his father kept tabs on him,,, and that he never bothered to do anything about it.
i'm just. i'm thinking thoughts.
#i talk a lot <3#cpsm#theodore magentano#i promise to stop talking about theo... at some point. no idea when. but it will happen.#i'm just. i reread ch 146 and. god. this poor kid.#rakiel basically tells him 'hey if you keep doing this you will get sick. you can die if you keep on this way'#and theo just goes 'it's okay. i know it's not good for me but it makes me feel better. and no one will be hurt if i stay like this'#LIKE. HELLO????#i am terrified they'll play it off for laughs in the adaptation because i feel like even in the novel it isn't given the weight it should#but this kid has given up on life! he doesn't care! he has an eating disorder and he thinks it's okay bc no one but him gets hurt by it!!#not to compare but if he had developed the more common type of bulimia i am sure no one would think any of this is remotely funny#i am. extremely anxious about how they will handle this.
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#random thoughts#i still wish my skin were darker or lighter sometimes so i could be “normal”.#and that doesn't even make any sense.#because most of the time i'm the “white one”. significantly more white-passing (or adjacent) in comparison to my brother.#it's always “if your brother is black then why are you white?” “holy shit you're such a basic white girl.” “so you want to be a white male?#okay then. go be a white man.”#and so it's always white white white until ha ha racism is funny now!!#and they all go “ha ha look the spanish word for black is negro!! that's you that's you look isn't that so funny!!”#and “woah your skin is so dark!! i bet you like watermelon and chicken!!”#and “you're such a fucking monkey i hate your kind!!”#yeah you're so fucking funny racism is so hilarious!!!!!!!#(sorry about sharing this i just have. opinions. sometimes being biracial is. a lot to think about.)
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moodboard for when you lose the idgaf war. or something. again
#when i started this post there was no one online so like. can u guys turn around or smth -_-#anyway. feeling like a chump like a weenie like a marshmallow that's dissolving in someone's hot chocolate feeling very um . Feely#and tht isn't said in a self-deprecating way bc there's nothing wrong with being a sensitive person i'm jus. yk. saying tht it's not always#very fun. like i would very much rather feel like a toasty marshmallow being smushed in a delicious s'more rn but instead i'm trying to#express in the least vulnerable way possible tht i've felt a series of human emotions in quick succession tht make my heart beat funny#bc i think if i were to be any more open abt tht then i would likely disintegrate and i mean tht in the most normal I'm Okay way ever 👍#and i jus think tht it Sucks tht u can be earnest n true n it won't matter bc if someone doesn't engage with u in good faith then there is#simply literally nothing that you can do but go ''Okay 👍''#like. goes taut n keels over dead like a cartoon character. then reanimates bc i'm not done#that is just The Worst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wdym!!!!!!#it should be enough. it should be but it isn't and i'm a little marshmallow melting in someone's drink they're stirring me and#i'm turning into foam like . There Has Got To Be Another Way Out Other Than Through Bro someone grab my collar and drag me out#this bitch like a cat on a leash someone hold their hands out or smth i just . *)%*^76)*%$^)%*43^rty)*%6$)6578^$%(*8796gk@$)*%$#it will be ok . it will 👍
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i wish there was a way to report distasteful whatsapp stickers. i've seen nazi/holocaust memes. i CONSTANTLY see suicide and self-harm jokes that can be fucking triggering to me and others. i've also seen transphobic jokes and racist jokes being spread around so easily.
like, i could report the person who sent said stickers, but why can't i report the AUTHOR of the sticker instead? the dipshit who decided to make it public? there HAS to be some fucking regulation in whatsapp stickers, seriously.
#lotus.txt#nazism tw#holocaust tw#suicide tw#self harm tw#self-harm tw#sh tw#ranting#i'm talking mostly about the group chat i used to be a part of with my classmates#i have finally decided to leave#especially after i TOLD THEM. TO BE CAREFUL WITH SUICIDE/SH JOKES#BUT NO THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT LMAO.#but yeah this counts to any other group chats or more private chats#bc this shit isn't okay#it's funny how parents are trying to regulate discord to an unhealthy degree and they don't fucking do shit about whatsapp#not that i'm aware of#maybe it's bc i'm not part of any wide discord servers but WE HAVE TO DO SMTH ABOUT WHATSAPP AND THE HORRIBLE STICKERS THERE COME ONNNNN#long tags#personal
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99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????
#gu6chan's musings#am i just taking the phrase too literally???? like i appreciate the thought but also.... what agitates me is the fact theres not any#when i say something among the lines of 'i think YOU'LL like this' or 'This made me think of you' like#its bc i think of THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR or think THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR would like it#again it's probably just autism brain taking figures of speech too literally but i HATE it bc it just makes me feel like#all the times i shared my interests meant nothinggggg typically i just ask 'neat; what makes you think ill like it?' and ppl start stumbling#and im like :(#whats rlly funny in this case is not only the fact i had only ever established my love of dark fantasy and mystery to this person#but they also flatout asked 'youre not really into modern media much are you' to which the answer was 'not much lol'#and i said the reasons i dont care for 'cute girls doing cute things' anime (re: k-on) is bc if i have the time to watch it then i at LEAST#wanna spend it watching a series that's???? not 'the point of it is to relax :)'??? i can sleep for that#anyways like 2 days later they said they said they think id REALLY like this new anime they've been watching lately and I was like 'oh?'#and it was yuru camp.... and internally i was like 'are you fucking kidding me' but on the outside i was like 'oh sweet what makes you think#id like it? id love some new media recommendations especially if they're newer shows bc ive been having SO MUCH TROUBLE trying to find#something interesting that isn't from 2008'#and they sent me a picture of the most generic anime girl ever and they're like 'it has really cute girls' and then i just wanted to kms#like.... this isn't bc you thought id like it; is it.....#wanted to die internally but i played it cool and was like 'oh no; i appreciate it thoughtfulness and all but i don't think this is for me'#also the time where someone recommended signalis to me and i was like 'oh?' and they were like 'YEAH its SO good the people who made it#were even INSPIRED off of Nier' KNOWING FULL WELL I DIDN'T LIKE IT AND THE AMOUNT MY ENTHUSIASM JUST DIED... i was like#'oh. well that will be a pass then' and they tried backpedaling like 'well it's not SUPER inspired; i didn't know you HATED nier :(' like#my past 15 posts on my twitter werent me realising that the game was absolute garbage and calling it the most regretful thing ive ever spent#money on during my attempted playthrough 😭 i was like 'thanks; but I'll pass' to which they then responded by promptly sending me#signalis memes i had absolutely no idea how to respond to WITHOUT making it seem like i was super annoyed so i was just kinda 😶 and didn't#reply and they were like 'sorry :(' and i was like 'haha it's okay! i just have absolutely no idea how to respond to this joke i dont#understand at ALL'#was probably one of the more awkward interactions ive ever had but genuinely speaking i was so INTERESTED until they brought up that it was#inspired by nier i literally psychically felt all the enthusiasm leaving my body from 'damn; i might actually have to look into this' to#'oh well that's a bullet dodged' did not trust the backtracking either....
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Okay a continuance of 'what original stuff is Cass working on atm' because I thought these bits were cool and since we're on the topic of me getting all dramatic and romantic about my own characters...
#and that was your very delayed update on my new wip atm lmao#haven't posted any original story stuff since the tsos business#Wait I don't think it even was that?? I think it was when I started that side story as a summer project#it was never finished but it made me happy over the summer#and isn't that what's important??#anyway this one I'm super serious about so this one I genuinely will get polished and finished no matter how long it ends up being...#I love it I love it sm already#yes I promise it will get more surrealist horror-y since that IS what it is and not a romance but let me have my fancy natalie content lmao#(a part of me can't wait until it gets all fucked up tho)#I have so many goddamn ideas for it#will update will update#there's some other funny stuff from this wip from mainly the intro but idk if I can be bothered to post it lmao#anyway enjoy#writeblr#writing wip#story extract#damn I need a tag for this#okay let's goooo#surrealist horror wip#there we go#if anyone cares there it will be
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I'm going to lose my mind. Why do some people think that humans just have the magical ability to interpret animal behavior completely by intuition and have it never be wrong ever
#if I go into the notes of a post showing/describing something an animal did#and I see one more 'you don't understand this is abuse /s!! lol I'm so smart by parodying those losers!!'#I swear to GOD#yes I'm sure there are people who are mistaken and say some situation or behavior is bad when it is likely fine#no they're not Everybody (or even tje majority) of people pointing out when something is wrong#and then I see shit like 'anthropomorphizing?? ok lol you just think animals and dumb and don't have any emotions or cognitive abilities'#'people just say that because they want to pretend to be better and smarter than all other animals'#LISTEN TO YOURSELF#wow you think that the only way an animal can experience those things is in the same way humans can?#and that you can Just Tell when an animal is feeling or reacting okay?#wow you are so cool for not assuming that humans are better than all other animals 👍#I literally just do not understand. I wouldn't look at a machine I don't understand the workings of doing something#and based off vibes alone go 'this thing is working completely fine and anyone who says otherwise even with relevant knowledge is an asshol#I'm going to go insane.#this isn't to shame anybody for thinking something is cute without doing Deep Research or anything#that's fine you don't have to do that just to look at an animal doing funny thing#but like. if someone who has done research says something is up#and you decide that actually they're wrong because you thought it was cute#then you're an asshole
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so funny to me that in homestuck theres a canonical postcanon. like whats post about that. thats just canon innit.
#i know technically it isn't canon or at least is no more canon than any other hs fancontent. which is objectively a baller move imo.#but it's so funny.. like okay the noncanon content officially sanctioned by the official author that's in conversation with canon#isn't canon. but it's part of canon even though its not. i think i need to go to sleep.#txt
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Neither disappointed Nor surprised with the specification like the antithetical villain here isn't in the "guess i was born antithetical like that, oh well" vein to have to be defeated as [concept incarnate] but rather the "sure, i used to be like you" kind where like a bit of versus (potential) self then in this not meant to be interpreted as peak literal story where then it's about not just getting to answer "how do i be Not That" with "well i guess i was born different, i can't be anything but inherently different from my antagonist villain & just have to physically win a battle" & where like, you're just never gonna get a "could Never be me in even any Ways or Aspects. i'm intrinsically different through & through" character in a joe iconis musical & like certainly not deliberately with some major character who's even meant to be the just like, you know, villain. but which is then also interesting in the lack of Just "oh that villain is Always the opposite of the hero in whatever ways or vice versa" or any other particularly clean & inviolate boundaries between them. both Walking A Road, the musician does just kind of up & go "i Will get my sidekick" & not accept anything else & do another musical homicide. lo cocodrilo doesn't do anything particularly heroesque but while doing all the outright villainy things there's the somewhat more grounded aspects & just expressing emotional range at all & the potentially sympathetic elements there just as that evidence like, not an The Opposite Of You / Was Never Like You / Am Not Even Now Nothing Like You situation, which makes him more relevant to an emotional arc to the whole story rather than just like. the practical obstacles. all that is leadup to me being like what would this backstory musical be like lol imagine. however just now i listened to "never heard nothing" again post bsol like okay like bit of Lo Cocodrilo in there potentially lmao. as per the whole "but that's where you're wrong, junior" "mine is just uglier" I'm Just A Potential Version Of You ocity of it all, which, thank god
#like i mean. just Inherently Different / Could Truly Never Possibly Be Me engagement w/a villain like. okay#just wouldn't make anything about that villain relevant to any emotional aspect to this Find The Bastard journey#including like; well nothing the villain could do or say that wasn't like Ah my peak villainy as always just cuz i was born that way shrug#i.e. that would not be relevant either. like when even in bmc we again have an outright Villain (if at first not necessarily villain#antagonist that also isn't even overtly the antagonist. at least partially lol) who is also Not [i used to be just like you] lol#but all the same like; the most Symbolic character vs bsol everyone's more symbolic like that#and just able to both be this facet of Voices In Your Head but also feasibly ofc still interpreted as a character & nonzero sympathetic#while even then being. well a funny little guy in ways too lol But more overtly menacing as per the relatively dispassionate...ness#forgetting like oh yeah ewm squip lol i do not know of him but i'm quite sure it wasn't like ah Warmth or even so much ah Fieriness#lo cocodrilo kind of actually both indeed warmer & fierier at the relevant occasions. only ''cold'' in his Ruthlessness quotient#tangent going wherever it's gonna go....also great we never hear like Directly lo cocodrilo's ''literal'' in-universe music#i was like hm wonder what it would be like but like No. we shouldn't hear it lol absolutely correct to only hear it in the Musical's music#tl;dr going ''what would a song about lo cocodrilo like in that Not So [oh my god could never be me] Origin way be like''#listening to never heard nothing like hey lol :) 🐊 he really did tell them die#also truly like whatever is going on there with henchman steve. kind of exquisite doomed villain/henchman glimpse like ah#doomed b/c like; the villainy. hug it out#bsol#& again like well apply whatever lenses anytime. they can't stop you. & they're going Yeah Go For It#even got the fun of the really like Insistent Beat punches heartbeat broken out sometimes. it's like turkey leg out here ish#anyone heard of this? iconis songs?
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Oh great, April 1st, when the footy humourists tell me Alex Fasolo has retired and I'm like WHAT NO HE CAN'T and then I realise what day it is and breathe a sigh of relief that Alex Fasolo still plays football and
#no but i already saw one on Instagram about dyson heppell retiring#this isn't funny#retirement isn't funny#pick something funny like the entire western Bulldogs team have come out as gay#wait no that's actually true it was confirmed#or that ginnidiot will wear his childhood hawks jumper today#ginnidiot debuts childhood Hawks jumper on Easter Monday#or um announce that Trent's TB threads is closing down so that everyone will scramble to buy something and#say that Fasolo pizza are making Apricot jam pork belly Nathan Lyon cheese pizzas a regular thing#ross Lyon announces that Daisy Thomas is still the best player in the league#he calls in the saints players for the review and he spends the whole time talking up Daisy Thomas#'here's what Daisy would've done'#Saints players groaning about coming in on a public holiday#Just like 'i knew this was a trick! who even is Dale Thomas anyway ew'#Trent comes out as Croatian and renounces his Italian heritage#Trent announces he's moving to croatia with his wife and baby to get away from his overbearing mother--- wait that's actually true#okay I'll go#i can't think of any more#oh right Melbourne stars could announce the Italian as their new captain#best to save that for another date though because it's REAL
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okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.
and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.
i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?
and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.
and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.
so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?
but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.
it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.
#he still has a lot of growth to do but at least he has people he can grow with 😭#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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