#okay. hooboy.

[southernbaphomet]

GRIMS EVERYWHERE

important notes: the last one (queer/lesbian) flag is between abel and silence! her name is Carrie. she was executed at age 19 after attempting to kill Belos. Lazzy is if the grimwalker Belos possessed in FTF didnt die before emerging

[sennedjem]

I have no proper photos (YET) but I’ll be debuting my Gale cosplay at Fan Expo Boston this weekend!

Unlike Gale, I am not very talkative amongst strangers, but please do feel free to ask for a photo if you’re so inclined!

[becauseanders]

the only photo i took from sleep token because i was too busy just vibing with the show to take my phone out, but holy fuck was that one of the most amazing concerts i’ve ever been to (and i have been to a lot of concerts). blessed to have been able to participate in this ritual (and it’s pretty cool that i got to see them on the one year anniversary of the release of take me back to eden!). #worship

[triflesandparsnips]

Do you like dr who or have you ever liked it in the past

HELLO AND WELCOME TO MY ASKS @lunasguard

When I was a Youth my first Doctor was Three-- he wore a velvet suit, had amazing silver swept-back hair, and I think he karate-chopped people. He was great.

Figure 1. Fucker had a cape sometimes too, absolute legend.

But then one day I guess I saw the episode where the Doctor died and regenerated as Four, and while Three was my first memory, Four was my doctor.

Now bear in mind, I was a goddamn toddler at the time. But my interest was such that my parents told a knitting friend of theirs about it, and they in turn made me an enormous Fourth Doctor scarf that, upon receipt, I apparently immediately wrapped about myself so that I might wander through our apartment declaring "Who Who Who" like a small homophonic screech owl.

To this day, I love Four above all others, to a degree that I cannot adequately explain without hauling out old episodes and waving at them emphatically while throwing small baby-shaped gummies at whatever defenseless fool activates my trap card.

Figure 2. I mean, look at this guy, "Well, you're a beautiful woman, probably," needs to go in the ace pick-up line hall of fame, he is amazing.

[britcision]

Oh shit it’s time the Marcille rant has been activated I am so sorry OP

Marcille’s actually not more easily grossed out or dramatic than her male party members; Chilchuck will freak out right along side her, and louder if she’s not being sufficiently dramatic

(It’s great they split the load of telling the others to fuck off - and he will freak out on her when Marcille is also being a nasty little freak

It’s usually noticeably one or the other of them kicking off at a time, and when they kick off in unison they’re both at about the same energy

Marcille is notably enthusiastic about the kraken, Chilchuck freaks and refuses mimic and merman, Marcille’s only objection to the mandrakes is that they’re harvesting them wrong, Chilchuck has eaten treasure bugs multiple times)

She only looks dramatic because the other two main characters are Laios and Senshi, who are almost always actively disturbing literally everyone around them

But Senshi freaks out over things Marcille finds perfectly normal pretty often, and Marcille is actually one of the most willing to do things she initially reacts against; she comes around really quickly on all of the monster food, while Laios and Senshi both take longer or flat out refuse to accept things they don’t like

It took an entire episode and having to kill a longtime companion for Senshi to agree to wash his hair, and he literally did Marcille’s “nope” dance from the first floor about it

Laios’ abject contempt for Marcille’s familiars is only assuaged when he gets to eat them, despite Marcille’s final design objectively being better than his

Marcille objects to each new monster as an entirely new crossing of a boundary because they are. It’s a different thing that she has always assumed cannot be food every single time - she and Chilchuck are always conceding “okay maybe this one thing” and promptly being handed yet another the next day

Meanwhile Senshi has been having the same grump about magic the entire time, and has even conceded multiple times that yeah, his impressions aren’t accurate… but he’ll butt against the same problem the next time Marcille’s magic is helpful, with the exact same dramatics

Chilchuck and Marcille and especially their reactions to the monster food actually provide a really important function in the story that is about to become a lot more clear in the future episodes of the anime - they’re the baseline gauge for the audience to see Laios and Senshi through

Marcille and Chilchuck are the normal ones, and their reactions are actually pretty mild, even when either one of them freaks out and refuses to even look at something

Namari literally takes her first bowl of kelpie soup as a punishment from her former party for abandoning them because it’s such a dire and terrible thing, but she’ll do it because she believes she deserves to be punished - the transformation of her perception after tasting it is masterfully done

Every other party our heroes are about to run into are going to draw the same lines as the Tances; refusing to even participate and heavily judging our heroes, and occasionally declaring them threats against humanity

Some will eventually be persuaded or agree for their own reasons (and yeah you cannot call Marcille dramatic with Kabru in the same room semi-regularly having to fight down murderous impulses - they literally have matching meltdowns at the end, although Kabru’s gets less sympathy)

As far as everyone else in-world is concerned, Marcille and Chilchuck are also fucking weirdos for agreeing to eat monsters at all, especially with so little complaint

Marcille is a fully intentional subversion of the ick-girl trope (but yeah she gets the full dance because she’s Italian) - she’ll put her foot down and say no at first, but always comes around mostly on her own when she smells the cooking, and will usually ask for a piece

And she’s certainly not shy about getting messy or doing the work; she renders fat to make her own soap, dismembers a dragon and rebuilds three skeletons, and will continue to stick her hands, feet, and head anywhere they need to go for the rest of the show

Her objection to the frog suits isn’t even wearing the still wet and bloody skins of a creature freshly dead; they don’t even know it’s going to work, and if you look at her face, she’s not swayed by “you’ll look cute”. She is not interested in being told it’s cute, and freaks out when they can’t remove it because Falin will see her like this, not because she’s glued in with frog blood on every inch of her body

(Note: the fear is not that Falin will think it’s gross, like eating the monsters Marcille’s fear is that Falin will be super into it. And she is.)

Her interests are actually the darkest and most deviant; ancient magic is literally illegal and carries penalties like lifetime imprisonment or forced labour, while eating monsters is just kinda gross - animewise Chilchuck still has not finished freaking out about what Marcille did

(It’s going to be an ongoing theme)

It’s actually what first caught my interest about the series because I had the exact same moment of disappointment as OP, and then we got to the second episode of “no look you have to pull the mandrakes PROPERLY” and I started catching the subversions

Marcille’s not a delicate girl - she wants to wash and is the one to tell Chilchuck and Senshi “where are you even going I can do it fully dressed”

She was heavily under-utilized for the first chunk of the series, but it is explained in world; she’s going to be the most important when they get down deeper and they’re going to need her and her magic at full strength, because none of them can do the things she can

Laios, Senshi, and Chilchuck don’t really have a cap on their abilities beyond just being able to physically move. Marcille also has to watch her mana, which means letting Laios and Senshi do most of the physical fighting and work on the baby floors

(The Chilchuck combat rant is a whole ‘nother thing for another time)

(This wizard also learned every single spell she’s used in the dungeon overnight and yeah she stuck with Fireball, Water Walking, and Cursed Necromancy, she didn’t take any lower level combat spells)

The anime’s finally getting into Marcille’s darker parts and I’m living for it; she refuses to go back to the surface even completely out of mana, and takes the lead herself on drinking the undine so she can continue

She’s a student of the dark arts, literally says “magic has no morality” (oh wizard hubris my other beloved trope), and will do whatever it takes to get what she wants - even accept the consequences

Next to Namari, Marcille’s a bit of a girly girl, but even that has in-world explanations; doing your hair is actually an important part of magical preparation, and it’s the most effort Marcille puts into anything girly - all the boys cook and sew more often than she does, although she’ll muck in with all the messy chores

All four of our main characters are very clear archetypes, both of class and character tropes, and they’re all subversions

The dwarf who doesn’t care about metal (but somehow reforged adamantium into a wok?)

The sly little rogue who started a union and just wants to retire

The big muscly fighter who is a major nerd and uses his brain more than his muscles

The Team Girl who doesn’t want to eat monsters, but is hella down to go neck deep in necromancy

Marcille’s freak outs stand out more because we expect to see them as part of the trope she is designed to play into, and, yeah, because she is very expressive and Italian and does typical anime overreactions

And it is so goddamn adorable when Senshi and Chilchuck are the ones freaking out, especially when it gets to the point of her “nope” dance

The dramatics are contagious

you start watching dungeon meshi and you see how marcille acts and it's like "great... another show where the girl character is fussy and dramatic and easily grossed out compared to her male counterparts :///" and then you continue watching and meet other female characters who are not at all like that and it's like "ah, she's not like that because she's a girl, she's like that because she's italian"

[ladykailitha]

The Hellfire Exotic Club Part 12

Welp.

Fuck.

Good news for you guys, bad new for me. I accidentally labeled two chapters as Chapter 12. There AREN'T thirteen chapters. There are FOURTEEN.

So I'll figure out when to post the extra chapter. But in the meantime:

Enjoy Eddie giving the denouement. Like that's it. That's whole chapter.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

~

Eddie called everyone into the club. Billy Hargrove, Heather Holloway, Nancy Wheeler, Jason Carver, Wayne and all his crew. The only one that wasn’t there was his ace in the hole.

“Thank you all for coming,” Eddie said, sitting on the edge of the stage while everyone sat around in the tables.

Hilariously Nancy and Jason sat as far apart from Billy as possible. What was even more hilarious was that Billy, Stella, and Heather formed a weird triangle trying to keep their distance without looking like it was deliberate.

“Just so everyone is aware,” he said with a grin. “Everything is be recorded, audio and visual.” He pointed to the cameras.

Nancy frowned, but merely crossed her arms and said nothing.

“These past couple of months have been the hardest the club has ever faced,” he began, “in all its history of being opened. And everyone just kept telling me it was bad luck. That bad news comes in waves and that we would ride this out same as always. But it all felt so contrived and I could not figure out why.”

“The absolute arrogance!” Jason huffed. “Thinking you know better than God!”

“Oh honey,” Eddie purred. “I’d have to believe in him to think that. Which I don’t, so shut it. “

Jason grumbled, but wisely settled down.

“Everyone also seemed to think this all started with the arrival of Steve,” he said, causing Steve to flush in embarrassment. “But Steve only got hired because I needed a new Envy.”

“Which I still think is bullshit,” Billy huffed. “What I do off the clock is none of your God damned business.”

Eddie shrugged. “And normally I would agree with you, Billy but you add in it was the mayor’s daughter and I wasn’t going to court legal trouble. But somehow I did anyway. So why?”

Everyone looked around at each other, trying to suss out who was to blame.

“You see I was missing a piece of the puzzle,” Eddie said, leaping off the stage to his feet. “And hooboy, did I get it when I talked to Jonathan Byers.”

Nancy’s head shot up, her jaw slack and her eyes wide. “I don’t have to sit here and listen to this gibberish.” She got to her feet and grabbed her purse.

“What’s matter, Nancy?” Steve said, sidling up Eddie. “Don’t you want to hear how Eddie figured out your scheme?”

Her head snapped around. “There is no scheme it’s all in the deluded mind of the this deranged individual. I will not be part of this.”

“You’re fianceé will probably get arrested,” Eddie said with a half shrug. “For her part in the scheme.”

Nancy turned around slowly. “I’m dating Jonathan. You just said my fianceé was female. A her.”

Jonathan came out from backstage. “That’s right, I’ve been the other man for years. But it was okay with Heather because she got off on cuckolding with other men, too.”

Everyone gasped as they turned to look at Heather.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffed, examining her nails.

“You see,” Eddie said, “it always struck me as odd that she would still have a fiancé after being caught with Billy. But there was never any indication that they had broken up. But when Jonathan had told me about the photography studio I got it. Steve wasn’t supposed have been involved at all. It was an accident and one that sent Nancy scrambling.”

He started walking around the room pointing out all the players. “Billy got played as much as Jonathan did. I’m not sure how Nancy got to Stella, but Stella was supposed to target whoever it was that I hired to replace Billy.”

“For all your talk of equals,” Stella spat, “the men still out numbered us women two to one. All she had to do was ask, though she paid me too. I didn’t realize that she was planned on shutting the place down. I thought she was trying to get you to sell it.”

“Then go to a different strip joint,” Eddie said rolling his eyes. “Oh wait... it’s because I actually pay my strippers. Do you really think that the new owners would be as generous?”

She gave little half shrug with a moue. “It would have been if I bought it.”

Everyone gasped again.

“Go to hell, Stella,” Bakir hissed. Bakir was an immigrant and his English wasn’t very good. “Would be horrible boss.”

“Fucking hell,” Scott agreed. “I’d take Eddie over anyone willing to hurt people for money.”

Danny raised her hand. “Which brings up an interesting point, what does Nancy get out of this?”

Eddie grinned and snapped his fingers at her. “I was thinking the same thing. What does Nancy Wheeler get out of shutting down these businesses? And the answer is a world-wide exclusive to the story. I think she got this high off getting the lab shut down when she was in high school that she had to keep chasing. That same high serial killers get.”

“So what did start all this?” Steve asked from the table he shared with Scott and Robin.

“Jason Carver,” Eddie said smugly. “When Chrissy broke up with him, he became enraged. He had known that Nancy had done exposés before and brought her to one of the Sin nights. She didn’t agree to it until she heard that it was one of the places Jonathan cleaned on occasion.”

Jason’s head whipped around to face her. “This wasn’t enough on its own?” he huffed waving wildly at the poles on the stage.

“No,” Eddie said shaking his head with a huff. “She had to control Jonathan because if he got wind of her schemes he would leave her for good.”

“Damn right,” Jonathan snarled. “And this is me breaking up with you Nancy.”

“You don’t know what you are doing Jonathan,” Nancy purred. “I’m trying to save your soul. Or I could tell Mommy all about how you took pictures of me while I was undressing. A sweet, underaged girl.” She batted her eyelashes at him.

Jonathan began laughing. “That? That’s what you’ve been holding over my head all this time? I told my mom about that when I got into a fight with your then boyfriend and the cops got called. Fuck you.”

She snapped her mouth shut and glared at him. Her hold on him well and truly gone.

“Back to the scheme,” Eddie said landing at Heather’s table. “The first thing she did was find out the weak parts of my operation. She must have overheard me telling Jeff, that a political scandal would be grounds for instant termination.”

Nancy shrugged. “That alleyway is so easy to hide in, you really should get that checked.” She winked at him.

“Then she deployed her fianceé,” Eddie continued clicking his tongue against his teeth, “to find an easy mark to get into bed with. Immediately she zeroed in on Billy. Loud, obnoxious, and egotistical. He was perfect.”

“Fuck you,” Billy huffed. “No one made me do anything!”

Eddie chuckled. “Too easy, honestly. It’s honestly the one fault I find in your plan, you could have chosen someone a little more difficult.” He held up his thumb and forefinger close together.

“But I digress.” He held up his hands. “Billy would get caught with Heather, by Nancy, a part left out the papers because she has friends in high places in those publications.”

Again Nancy looked smug.

“You won’t be so smug when Eddie gets through with you,” Steve said shaking his head. “Where are your denials now?”

“Why deny any of it?” she asked with a laugh. “He’s painting me to be some evil genius, that’s quite the accomplishment.”

“Don’t worry, I’m just getting started,” Eddie assured her, walking over to where Stella sat with Danny and Levi. “This is where she tripped up. Stella was supposed to keep escalating the attacks on the new dancer until they got seriously hurt or they quit. Only they weren’t counting on Steve. Steve whom, if Nancy let get hurt like that would seriously damage her reputation. So tried everything she could to dislodge him herself. But Steve was already entrenched into the club’s culture. So she had to show her hand early so that Stella would be forced to stop the attacks against him.”

“I knew it was a risk,” Nancy admitted with a shrug. “I thought I could appeal to his better nature and our friendship, but he likes stripping.”

Steve laughed. “Hell yeah, I do. It’s good money and better company.”

Nancy rolled her eyes.

“But then it really unraveled,” Eddie said with a grin, “when Jonathan spotted Steve coming out of the dressing room after his lap dance and asked for help. He wanted to know Steve knew of any place that would be willing to take him on full time.”

“When I found out she was willing to help Steve get a job,” Jonathan spat, “but was constantly undermining my ability to even hold a job, I was willing to take anything Steve could help me get so I could get out from under her thumb.”

“Then I met with him,” he continued. “I found him to be genuine and hardworking. His foreman spoke highly of him and all I needed to know was what position he would take. So everyone I would you like you to meet Jonathan Byers, the new chef’s assistant under Monty.”

All the crew of Hellfire clapped except Stella, Levi and Danny.

“And I would like to introduce you to our three new dancers,” Eddie finished with a wink. “Micaella Dimitriou, Kyle White, and Mason Clark. After all Levi, Danny, and Stella are under arrest now.”

“What?!” Danny squawked, leaping to her feet as cops swarmed the club.

Immediately Heather started crying about how she was tricked into all this and how much of a victim she was. All while Nancy screamed about how much of a bitch she was and how she never loved her.

In the end, Jason, Heather, Nancy, Stella, Levi, and Danny were all carted away for varying offenses.

Eddie dusted his hands off. “Right now that garbage has been cleaned out, I am announcing that we are closing the club for two we–”

A roar of outrage erupted from the rest of the crew.

He held up his hands. “Just for two weeks and you’ll get paid based on the average from last year. We are going to be doing some remodeling and it will allow the new dancers time learn their roles.”

There was some murmuring, but that was fair enough.

“Micaella will be in Megera,” Eddie said, “the Fury of ancient Greece. Mason as Set, the Egyptian god of chaos, and Kyle as Kimaris, marquis of hell.”

That got a lot more cheers and excitement.

“Megera will be taking over as Wrath,” Eddie said. “But this time I did give anyone the chance the audition for it.”

Scott snickered. “I still don’t know how you kept it from those three, it was brilliant seeing their shocked Pikachu faces.”

“Oh!” Eddie said with a shy smile. “That was easy. I didn’t tell anyone it was to replace them except for a couple of close confidants.” He shrugged. “I even had them come in, told them it was for a new routine.”

Gareth raised his hand. “He didn’t tell me. Probably because I would have blabbed it all over the place.”

“He didn’t tell me either,” Chrissy said, “I think he wanted me to have plausible deniability if Stella came after me. Which she had shown in the past she was willing to do.”

“Right in one,” Eddie said snapping his fingers at her with a fond smile. “I only told Wayne, Steve, and Scott.”

Jonathan tilted his head to the side. “Why those three?”

Eddie started counting off on his fingers. “Wayne and Scott because they were going to be helping me hire. And Steve because he figured it out on his own. Didn’t you, beautiful?”

“The dance he was having us learn was very...” Steve said with a blush, “angry?” He snapped his fingers. “Fierce! That’s the word. I also knew that Billy had be conspiring with Stella, so I figured that Eddie was going to replace her.”

“Fair enough,” Chrissy said. “So what are all the changes that are being made?”

Eddie launched into getting new tables and chairs, a new stage, a better sound equipment and eventually a new wing, but that would take longer than the two weeks he was willing to be closed. He explained that they would continue to work at night, while the construction crew worked during the day.

“Then to celebrate the new opening,” he said, “we’ll finally do the fairy tale night!”

Then the cheer really did go up. They had been wanting to do that for ages. They had their costumes and had the dances down, but first Chrissy hurt her ankle and then this shit came up and it was past time for them to do it.

Eddie giggled. “Is this why detectives do this shit? Because holy hell was that a rush!”

~

Part 13 Part 14

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @gloomysoup

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @garden-of-gay

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts @too-much-tma-stuff @dolphincliffs @chameleonhair

10- @themoonagainstmers @novelnovella @micheledawn1975

[jellazticious]

bing bong bootleg SS au

very long ramble under the C

stuff are subjected to change

The working title isn't solidified but I'm leaning on either Candy Castle or Pastry Castle

Tho I think I'm gonna go for pastry cuz it has the same amount of letters as castle much like pizza and tower have the same number too

The tower is a gingerbread castle. According to a friend of mine (It's Beefy, it's always Beefy go follow him) that Hispanics love their bakeries and yeah, I guess that makes sense. Not only do I have a theme based on the protag's culture but also the theme gets narrowed down to just baked sweets. Candy in general is too broad, I would die figuring out how to put every kind of sweet in it, and if I did it's gonna be really cluttered hooboy

Noise is called Theo because that's Peppino's name formula. Peppino is a nickname for Giuseppe so I thought I'd give Noise's swap a nickname to Theodore as the main name

Hazel Nutt is pretty self explanatory cuz Noisette means hazelnut in French

Their outfits are pretty simple to mirror Peppino and Gustavo's with just coloured shirts and aprons

Hazel doesn't get a mount because she would have Theo's prototype rocket skates. Just like Gus, she would have different stages of getting used to the skates per floor. First she gets blasted from end to end cuz she can't control the thrust. Second, she manages to turn it off but she's trying to keep balance on it. Third, she catches her breath now that she could stand still without moving or slipping. Next she would make a card castle, in reference to the very castle they're inside. and lastly she'd be holding a box of sweets without giving a shit about the scary floor.

To parallel the og Noisette, Hazel would smile bigger when Theo faces her direction.

Hazel is also Theo's delivery gal to match and switch with how Peppino WAS Gustavo's delivery guy

The "kick the rat" function would be Hazel swinging one of the skates and the cops grabbing Brick would instead hold a weapon detector that also functions as a magnet

Unlike Peppino, Theo is more aggressive than anxious. Imagine an injured cat defending itself from what it thinks is a threat

the name of Pizzaface's swap is Pieface for obvious reasons 😭

but HEAR ME OUT

both pizzaface and pieface are used as insults. pizza face is used for people with so much acne and pie face is used for someone with a flat face or dull expression. It isn't just a pun on what food the characters are made of. Pieface is also a reference to the trope where people headshot other people with pies. With the mech floating towards the protag, it would look like a pie is being thrown and targeted at Theo

Honestly drawing what food makes his face is so fun. Did you know that before the croissant smile it was supposed to be syrup shaped to a smile? The nose was a long whip of cream before turning into a cut strawberry for the mustache effect

Pizzahead's candy version would be called Gingerhead because of how ridiculous it sounds.

Gingerhead is based on Willy Wonka much like how Pizzahead is based on Ronald McDonald which is why he has more of a showman look than a clown look

okay side note, it just occured to me how ironic PH being based on Ronald is considering McDo's isn't a pizza place

actually Wonka doesn't even sell cakes and shit so, I guess it's fair game

Theo has the nickname Muffinman to reference the rhyme. but this time, it's the gingerbreadman chasing the baker

Next up is Mr S, who would be Peppino but he becomes rich. Mr S is the stage name he uses. He is a known celebrity much as Noise is but he is more of a boxer than a host. Like Dwayne Johnson or something. His name is partially a reference to ResEvil's Mr X, another absolute unit of a guy

also the reason why he doesn't wear a shirt. He's committing to the bit. If he needs to cover himself when he isn't playing a role, then there's his robe. He doesn't take out his mask most of the time tho

Mr S's mask is based on the Chef Raider design but also part of the scrapped superhero design much like Pizzano. Actually speaking of Pizzano, S is characterized so similarly to him cuz Pizzano is the only SS character who was actually written well to my standards. To be fair we've seen too much of Peppino to flunk characterizing him sksksk

Since this is Peppino that Mr S is based on, he's not as tech savvy or as self centered as Noise so he doesn't have robots that look like himself. Instead he has ants for a crew

the ants swap the place of rats. the rats in PT reference the new york pizza rat while ants just generally eat your food especially if it's sweet when left alone for five minutes

the ants come from Mr G, who would be Gustavo's swap with Noisette. He's Mr S's lawyer. at the end of S's bossfight, G would snatch him away with Click (the ant) because S would make a foul and embarrassing move on live camera

I can't seperate Gustavo and Brick so Click stays with Mr G instead of assisting Hazel

inside what would be Noisette cafe, instead of Mr G and Click being behind the counter, they would be sitting as customers next to Caraman. the barista isn't seen anywhere

Honestly when I'm writing everyone, my logic of swapping them isn't "make them switch places AND personalities" but more of "write every single one of them with the og personality because giving them a different lifestyle/role would drastically change their motives and how they behave"

I'm practically just swapping each character's place of birth

I mentioned this because it's kinda funny with Noisette and Gus since they play the exact same role of assisting Peppino/Noise so swapping them won't change much in how they act. They also have the same cheery and welcoming personality by default so Hazel and Mr G would act REALLY similar to their og

The only difference is that Gustavo can be threatening whenever Peppino fucks up. It fits right in with being a lawyer for the same goon

Now we got Mel Caraman who would become this au's Vigi. Lemme just say off the bat that Caraman is just as delusional as Vigi. He gets hired as a guard for floor 2 and took it way too seriously that he thinks he's some sort of sentinel. Hired as a guard but thinks he's an ancient guardian or something

his name vaguely references James Bond because you also VAGUELY get "caramel" out of "Caraman, Mel Caraman"

Caraman is a caramel apple but he's half glazed to form an eyemask. he's also got a stick poking out his head that stretches his chorro hat. the big hat makes him look cooler anyways. Bro I was so ready to settle for a shitty wild west mayor hat and I owe Beefy one for suggesting a new hat. I was gonna make him look like Doug Dimmadome with the short brimmed tall hat😭😭😭

but yeah Caraman doesn't have the same dignity as Vigi does. He can fight crime decently on normal circumstances and badass when he's full serious. But like day in day out he's so obnoxious about looking for crime that people get tired of him nor would they take him seriously

he would also be mistaken for a pepper

Next to last, Cam M. Bert or just Bert who would take place of Pepperman. he's an artist who appreciates the world instead of himself, a freelancer also. There was only a bossfight because he was coincidentally commissioned to make a mural for the castle the same time Theo busts in. He didn't like how Theo ruined some of his works with his rush to open the door

Bert is a cream cheese instead of a cheese slime. his beret is actually a little cherry to distinguish him from the other creams.

Bert is really chill and humble, He's like Bob Ross, whenever he can, he'd try to talk about how every beauty in the world should be immortalized through a canvas

In parallel to Vigi's delusion of thinking he's a human, Bert thinks he's actually a living painting (which is completely possible for someone to be in the PT world since Pepperman was able to do it with his own art)

instead of a :{ face that Vigilante has, Bert has a :3 face

the naming formula is taken directly from Vigi

Vig E. Lantte

Cam M. Bert

There is a type of sweet cheese that's really creamy called camembert which his name is a direct reference from. Here is a picture of a camembert since it's hella cute

Camembert cheese was also suggested by Beefy, brother thank you for not allowing me to name this cunt Creamlad

Mr Lardo would be in place of Mr Stick but his motive is that he's collecting Theo's money on BEHALF of Mr Stick. They're probably the only ones who completely stay intact because there's not much canon info of Stick WITHIN the game itself I also feel he's a crossover character from his own "series" with how long McPig has him prior to PT so I just swap the character who makes the "cameo"

The toppins are still called toppins because they'd be used to decorate a cake or pie. They would be

Strawberry - Mushroom

Cream - Cheese

Cookie - Tomato

Icing (in a piping bag) - Sausage

actually I dont know yet for the pineapple but I'll get to it. I've only been figuring out this au since four days ago....

Lastly (of the characters), the Faker in this would be mechanical to match the original Noise's familiarity in robots

Fake Theo (temp name) would be engineered to be "Theo but way better" while actually being succesful with it. Faker would also sort of look like a mini figure of a ballerina. Referencing The Nutcracker

Opposite to Fake Peppino, Fake Theo is more graceful than terrifying but it's so uncanny how unnaturally pretty it is

and now some misc stuff

Title of the final level is When The Cookie Crumbles

the pepper pizza will be replaced with an extremely sweet pie and the immunity is caused by the sugar rush from it

Pizza Time is called Crunch Time

Pillar John would be a giant graham cracker since the walls are made of cookies instead of bricks. Gerome however, is a solidified bar of brownies. like a shittily made brownie that it just turned into a construction brick

Snotty is a pure white cream cheese and that's cuz he's actually made of glue. His name is Sticky

Pigs would either be bears or rabbits with how many times those two animals represented sweets

I'm gonna be clear with everyone here. I literally made this au cuz I'm going insane trying to make swap stuff with Pascal/Stefano when the au itself is so empty. sure it's colourful but it's so empty like I can't draw SS characters outside of poses

I tried like doing fanon modifications as I always do then there's so much I "modified" that at this point it's not Sugary Spire anymore. Just straight up a completely different au. The only similarity is that it's a swap au with sweets

it is what it is yknow. this is my life now. I said fuck it and went with the flow and boom, new personal au that I poured too much into

basically I blame Pascal for this

[mariella-ending]

^this this THIS @axolotleo agree 1000%

Also it seems to me that everything the Narrator creates has a habit of quasi-gaining accidental in-universe sentience (i.e. the adventure line™️ coming back against the Narrator's wishes in confusion ending, the BUCKET in like half of bucket-related endings (....gambhorra'ta), Stanley's wife via the office phone calls, the copy machine begging for death, the remnants of the deleted coworkers via their messages on the white boards, one could even argue the game itself is slightly-sentient with 432 as its spokesperson begging the player to remain willingly trapped within its confines forever.) Maybe it comes about as a way to act out on his mega-repressed impulsive subconscious creativity his perfectionism analysis-paralysis and allegiance to the Perfect Story won't allow him to bring out on a conscious level? (That'd require a conscious choice after all and we know how he is with THAT lol #10,000tables) Whomst to say lol

I don't see why Stanley would be an explicit exception to this, him having been originally designed as an empty vessel for the player to experience the Narrator's story through (I personally don't think he has a shred of personhood in the og half life 2 mod, it was the first draft after all lol) but gaining sentience over time (perhaps as the Narrator became more comfortable/familiar with his character? Like when you make an OC and know how they are and act as people so well it writes itself? Something like that.)

The extent to his sentiency is up to the individuals interpretation (like everything else in this game🤪) but of course outside of the listed exceptions the player is 100% controlling his actions the whole time (the Narrator calls out the distinction between the player and Stanley.... when he can remember :( )

Every instance of Stanley characterization I've found so far (more to be added as i scrounge for more):

- Stanley doesn’t let go of the bucket when you are told to put it into the bucket destroyer when you try to. (Bucket Destroyer Ending)

- Stanley running off from the Narrator + outright defiance via either running or actively trying to leave (Release Date Trailer + Game Awards Trailer)

- Stanley responding directly to the Narrator via shaking his head no. (the Game Awards Trailer)

- Stanley looking at traveling sites in his free time. (the Game Awards Trailer)

- Any instance of Stanley’s attachment to the bucket (I think about The Escape Pod Ending w/ the bucket specifically for this)

- The notes page from the Indiebox Manual

- Stanley’s imagination coming to life after being left alone (the Infinite Hole Ending)

- Stanley walking through the desert to the memory zone (The Epilogue)

- The countdown ending dialogue where it implies that Stanley asks about his coworkers (The Countdown Ending)

- Stanley patting his leg while waiting for commands to come in (the Ultra Deluxe intro sequence) (he does kick his leg a bit in the 2013 intro sequence)

(I realize these are all a bit of a stretch but it’s fun to find and notice these)

[amuseoffyre]

Since I put together a rather massive thread about the probable S3 final fuckeries on the dead-parrot site, I figure I'll bring it over here as well :) This is bearing in mind that the show loved using history when it was useful or funny.

Blackbeard's death was in a battle and afterwards, his head was cut off and hung from the bowsprit of the ship, then later as a warning by a harbour. Urban legend said that his headless body swam around the ship, trying to find the head. Stede, meanwhile, was executed by hanging after being captured and tried in Charles Town.

My theory is a giant faking-their-deaths fuckery and this is the collection of extensive foreshadowing in sequential order.

1x01 - He's holding his own head! That's terrifying!

The Swede's flag with a skeleton holding his own head. Given Ed's flair for the dramatic and the urban legend that BB's body swam, headless, around the ship, this feels like a very him thing to do. (also ties in with Blackbeard's flag with just the skeleton in S1)

1x01 - Stede's first fuckery

Stede using mannequins as a diversion so they can escape from the British Navy and the British Navy fall for it. Also, significantly, one of the fake heads falls off.

1x03 - Stede hanged

I facepalmed so hard when I realised that we had already seen Stede get hanged and survive it. Also, the fact that the person who intended to kill him by hanging is the one who dies first? INCHRESTING.

1x04 - "People just see the flag - I don't even have to be on the boat. I'm a ghost"

And he won't be on the boat in the end :D (@wastingyourgum reminded me of this one :D)

1x04 - "He's wearing Blackbeard's clothes. He's on Blackbeard's ship".

Combining this with Stede's fake-heads-to-escape idea, Blackbeard's official 'death' is tied up with a bow :D They just need to find a suitable person to sub in *coughHornigoldcough*

1x06 - "Over here, child!"

HOOBOY this entire episode is basically emphatically pointing at Ed's skill in the art of misdirection. Ed is an expert at fooling people into seeing what he wants them to see. The Master of the Theatre of Fear.

1x06 - The crew fuckery

Stede, the Swede and Black Pete literally holding heads that aren't theirs And once again the allusion to swapping faces/places. "Are those supposed to be the same guy?" "But with very different hairstyles, ja?"

1x06 - "I'm supposed to burn your face off and take your identity"

Stede getting another layer of "how to get away with dying/disappearing" added to his arsenal of knowledge.

1x08 - The Unicorn's head

Oh look. A mythical creature's head is removed by the English, when Ed has been compared to a demon, devil, vampire and kraken. I wonder what that could be foreshadowing 🙃

1x09 - "You've kept the clippings so we can make fake heads and escape"

When in doubt, Stede turns to arts and crafts.

1x10 - "Now that's a fuckery"

Stede has already faked his own death not once, not twice, but three times in ten minutes. Now that's overkill 😂He's done it before, he'll do it again! In Stede's town, wearing Stede's clothes.

2x01 - "He can't possibly look like this"

The S1 propaganda pics are all full/half body, but now, he's reduced down to a head with very snaky looking hair. "He can't possibly look like that" (and this ties into something from 2x04 as well)

In related things, there is one historic piece of art referring to Blackbeard like this, as a disembodied head and I feel like there's a bit of a resemblance going on.

2x02 - "There's some beheadings on here"

Okay, yes, this one is a stretch, but head removal, people. We have more head removal :D

2x03 - "I'm not me, I'm you"

Yes, I know, in the context of the Gravy Basket, but there would be some poetrical vibes if Hornigold's body was the one left in Ed's place so Ed can live a long and happy life. (And yes, fully convinced he was an S3 villain)

2x03 - "I knew they killed him"

Will fully admit I yelped a bit when I saw this scene in higher res than a stream because with the drape of cloth over his head matching the colour of the surroundings, it's gives the illusion of a headless body.

2x04 - "He can't hear you. He's got no head"

Again, the symbolism of the mythical creature without a head. Especially when we see Izzy yelling at it as if its Blackbeard, his own personal figurehead.

2x04 - "Pulls his entire fucking face off. Turns out this one had stolen the face off some Brit and come to my rescue"

Of all the specialist skills for someone in Ed's old crew to have, disguising themselves with someone else's face? :D (That's romance ;))

2x04 - The Head of Medusa

Buttons' transmogrification bowl is under a painting of The head of Medusa (Caravaggio). In the story of Perseus, he used Medusa's severed head to defeat a terrible sea monster (hello, kraken :D) and a King.

And I mentioned earlier Ed's wanted poster had a connection to this episode and look at these images side by side:

Coincidence??? I THINK NOT XD

[pomrania]

Doing what I did last year (and hooboy but that post took forever to find, tumblr is a functional website), and talking about the @200-word-rpgs (it has its own blog now!) that I found interesting, as the compilation post comes out.

Canned Vegetables by @moth-surface I love the concept here, of finding ways to describe XYZ as though it's ABC, while still being truthful. I don't think I'd be able to play this as-is, since I don't know much about different vegetables, and this relies on both parties having a good deal of background knowledge; but I'm glad that it exists.

HEAVY METAL VAN WIZARDS by @henchmaxxing I have a fondness for things where all the stats are individual words from a phrase that describes stuff overall. …and on my reread of this one, for writing it up, I noticed something I hadn't registered before: that your character's stats are assigned by the OTHER players, presumably in accordance with how the character had been illustrated, and okay that's really cool. I also like the mechanic of ties being broken by who can metal scream the best, that's great.

Holy RPG, Batman! by @catsarehumanstoo This is a fun concept. I really like how a particular result comes from the most likely value when you roll 2d6, but especially how that's simultaneously desirable AND undesirable. There's some fun dice stuff there.

Radio Prophets by @toy-dragon I wish my brain was working more (it's nearing midnight) to say how I like this. The very concept, of flipping through the radio for phrases, that's a good one. The idea of interpreting a prophecy, then interpreting its misinterpretation, that's fascinating. Also, the bit about how if nobody responds, you can't try again until something timed by the car stopping; although now I've a bit of a question of whether "next full stop" means "the car comes to a complete stop, like at a stop sign" or "the car is parked and turned off". But I feel that's something which would be negotiated on a per-roadtrip basis.

Rhyme Schemes by @bookoramaenderteeth "Transforming things into things that rhyme with it" is a classic. I appreciate the twist here, where after the power's been used a certain number of times, it has to become a more complex rhyme.

If you're reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about... well I prolly shouldn't have left my "this is what the post is about" to the end, especially not late at night. But basically there's an event going on where people write up RPGs with a word count maximum of 200. If you're curious, check the blog mentioned in the first paragraph.

[britcision]

Can I inflict a thought on you?

Apiary dynamics dungeon meshi party. It's an affliction that's technically non-human in origin. It makes all of their specific tendencies even worse. They can only separate so far. Everyone can only deal with some of the consequences.

-Faer

👀

I mean I’m chewing my way slowly through the omegaverse version so it’s not out of my way

(The elves have weaponized their omegas’ “if the fight gets to us it’s to the death IMMEDIATELY” lack of chill to form the Canaries)

I gotta do a rerun through the levels but off the top of my head I am gonna start unconventional

Chilchuck’s the queen

It’s his dad energy. He doesn’t necessarily accept anyone he works with into the hive, but all the half-foots are his and hooboy does it make him cranky to be away from the guild HQ

But he couldn’t let any of his people go down to the dungeon as deep as Laios and Falin were planning, so he dusted off his gear and assumed it’d be quick

Except

Falin caught Apiary

And Chilchuck has not yet worked out how to get her into his hive-union cuz she’s definitely not a half-foot, but the adoption process already started

(Godiva’s tempting for Falin with her healing to have the nurse/caretaker role, but she’s just so bonk happy I’m going with Arcadia. She likes to go and collect things and gather up the bugs and bring people snacks, she basically did not notice any change

She’s just. Slightly more insistent that people eat the things she brings them. And more likely to run off after shiny things)

None of them know Chilchuck’s a queen, and at first it was only Falin so he was just Suffering but making do

But Falin died

And that’s his goddamn hivemate he’s not going anywhere like it or not - maybe being estranged from his bio kids (they did not agree to move and join the union and he’s. Not up to trying to persuade them.) makes him overly aggressive, or just overly protective and unusually likely to risk himself rather than his hivemates

(He’s still not goddamn fighting and you can’t make him this is what he has hivemates for!)

Senshi is sitting on the Arcadia/Godiva line too, because he is a hive of one but did not question why he fell so easily in with Laios (Chilchuck’s) group

(Chilchuck is not sure how he keeps acquiring all these other definitely-not-half-foots as hivemates (it’s because you keep leaving the hive and miss your kids sir you’re pack bonding with rocks) but dammit he’s got another one)

Marcille and Laios don’t catch apiary until they get hit with the dryad spores in the dungeon’s depths, but they’re both Ivanhoes so there are no immediate consequences if you don’t count them both suddenly getting way more protective of the others

Izutsumi is Izutsumi

Both Flokes are Godiva, Tansu’s the queen and yes this is why they acquire new grandbabies so readily

And because I’m Basic™️, the Canaries!

Cithis is not apiary but she can and will steal every single fucking hive she sees, immaculate queen vibes

Lycion’s a Godiva, natural caretaker who is the tank pretty much by default so he gets antsy when he has to do combat chores rather than tending to his hive

Fleki isn’t apiary but she’s godiva-sexual because godDAMN she needs someone competent to take care of her and she likes belonging

Otta has had shots to prevent catching apiary but they make her read like a Libertine (drone) to the other bees. She is very okay with this

Pattadol has only just got her anti-apiary shots but it might be too late for her tbh

Flamela’s a Quixote, she caught it from her twin after they got a visit from the capital (mmmmmm high rates of apiary among noble elves? Maybe?), her twin was being raised to be the next queen but Flamela’s just waaaaaaay too aggressive and wants to stab everything

This makes it significantly harder for her to work with Mithrun, who was a Quixote before he got broken by the demon and is now a deeply fucked up little Godiva

(because he really does try and save every single dungeon lord. All of them. He wants to help them, get them away and let them recover too. And if they won’t he’ll kill them)

This leads to them butting heads all the harder because Flamela’s instincts insist Mithrun should be the one sticking behind her and letting her go do the dangerous shit, but all of their orders INSIST Mithrun go running face first into danger and she has to hang back

And neither of them are gonna disobey the queen but Mithrun’s just not particularly connected to his gender for anything except the dungeon lords, so he doesn’t act like a Godiva except when he’s around a dungeon, and then he’s full Mama Bear and you stay the fuck outta his way until he determines if this dungeon lord is Baby (to be saved) or Toast

(He still doesn’t feel any of his apiary needs either, but the squad try and feed those for him by eating in front of him and taking care of him alongside their own care routines, so they can make sure he’s alright and he can see they are too

Most of that falls on Lycion as their other Godiva but it feeds his gender needs too so it all works out)

Milsiril’s actually secretly winning the record for Most Broken Godiva though (she hoards children, easy) because she constantly craves a caregiving role, but her own special brand of dungeon PTSD and asocial personality disorder make it extremely hard for her to actually form the interpersonal bonds that would make it satisfying for her

So her serial-parenting of shorter lived folks gets drastically worse, she’s the most helicopter of helicopter parents, and occasionally (regularly) leaves any trip to town with more kids than she started with

Milsiril is no longer allowed to go into town

She also absolutely did try and kidnap Mithrun into her hive rather than letting him go to fight the demon, it was 1000% a trap but because she can’t form bonds well and Mithrun can’t form bonds at all he basically wandered off one day while the kids were being noisy and they both forgot about the whole thing

Milsiril doesn’t remember it until Kabru mentions meeting Mithrun after everything’s over so she does make another vague ploy to kidnap him but Mithrun’s busy making noodles with Senshi and doesn’t notice

Kabru has had every apiary shot and takes his meds every day he is NOT catching what Milsiril got… but he’s real good at spotting it in others and playing it up

Edit: for anyone wondering about apiary:

@faeriekit I dunno if you expected this much but if not you should have by now 😅

[the-s1lly-corner]

"Run, Don't worry about me!" (Gangle, Ragatha, Pomni, Kinger)

i dont usually use prompt generators.... but oh boy this angst one is making my brain COOK... anyways this quote was recommended and hooboy it made me think of perhaps there being an abstracted circus member running around and cornering the reader and another character? oooohooohooo

POMNI:

oh she feels so helpless... i mean we know shes already been in this situation, the pilot.. and she ran, and yeah sure she almost didnt come back because of the false exit... but what if she was put in this scenario again, and with someone shes grown close to? i think she would stutter, physically when you tell her to make a run for it.. to go find caine for help.. this is all too familiar... i mean.. sure ultimately ragatha was fine, but she still doesnt know what an abstracted can truly do to someone outside of giving them painful glitches... i think she would try to argue, but you snapping at her to just run.. for YOU is what gets her to bolt.. she feels so terrible, it doesnt matter if the outcome ends in you being safe.. she cant stand the pit in her stomach.. thankfully, though, there are no fake escapes grabbing her attention, at least this time

RAGATHA:

similar to pomni i think she would be torn. on one hand she feels she needs to stick around to make sure you make it out okay, but on the other hand she knows that nothing will be done quickly if both of you end up out of commisision... so reluctantly, she runs and searches for caine. shes bolting as fast as she can, i like to think she holds the skirt of her dress up while she runs.. if she could, she would scream until her throat goes hoarse... and who knows maybe even in the digital world she can do that.. i dont think she would crack under the pressure though, really the only thing keeping her from doing so is the fact that you are waiting behind for her to come back with caine... on top of hat what if the abstracted left after beating on you? what if someone else got hurt? she would feel responsible for not being fast enough...

KINGER:

he would outright refuse to leave your side... or maybe he would run off as his instincts scream at him to vacate the area and he doesnt even register that you had told him to run... likely, he would have grabbed onto you in an attempt to drag you with him, to keep you out of harms away.. but when he looks down, he only finds one of his hands. as dark and comical as it is, the curse of having no arms finally shows its consequences... i think he would run back to you, subsequently leaving him getting attacked as well, his crumpled and glitching form left on the ground a few feet from yours... but youre still KICKING youre still alive... can one die or abstract from being attacked by someone whos already abstracted? hes not... actually sure.. his head is pounding with so much pain that he cant think straight.. definitely going to need a third party to get help for you two

GANGLE:

another one where a third party is going to need to come to send help, not because gangle listened to you and chickened out on getting help... or insisting to stay with you.. regardless, i dont think gangle would be able to outrun the monster before it strikes her down. your attempt to keep her save was in vain. imagine how much worse it would be if her sprinting to escape to find caine caught the abstracted's attention, and it immediately smashes her down in a crumpled flickering pile on the ground... with you, still unscathed forced to watch... you tried to keep her safe, planning to take the blow yourself but it blew up in your face... generally not a good feeling and your split second a shock and guilt probably costs you your own escape

[tjalexandernyc]

I finally started watching Leverage after years of friends and mutuals telling me how good it is. Just finished s1 and my thoughts are:

Wow y'all weren't kidding. This is a POLYCULE. Everyone has insane chemistry with everyone else. I've never seen such a horny ensemble cast.

I've started referring to Nate as Heist Dad and no I will not be explaining myself.

I'm thoroughly charmed but can I PLEASE ask costuming depts for a favor?? Can you stop having nuns and priests wear rosaries around their necks? Every damn time there's a nun or priest on my screen, this is happening. Catholics don't wear rosaries! (At least not Professional Catholics. I've seen young folks who might be Catholic wearing them as a fashion choice--catholic casual--but your local priest won't be doing that.) The rosary is not a necklace, it's just necklace-shaped! Priests and nuns carry rosaries. Some orders might tuck one into their belt or wrap them around their wrist but it's not jewelry. Never a necklace. Your canonically Catholic seminary dropout would KNOW this, it's frankly amateur hour.

Hooboy okay just had to get that off my chest 😂

[giddlygoat]

okay time for some darkwing headcanons:

drake is super bi with no preference and he’s huge in denial about it so he’s convinced himself he just keeps launchpad around because it’s good for his ego. i’ve also seen the trans headcanon around a lot and WHEW yeah. there ain’t nothing cis about that man

launchpad is also bi. i think he has a preference to guys and a lot of his friends are raging lesbians. idk how to explain it i just feel like at least half of his mentioned “old girlfriends” are his lesbian buds from biker gangs or bowling clubs or whatever launchpad gets up to in his free time. cue the “wait a minute, there’s something bothering me about this place… i know! this lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit!” bit etc etc

gosalyn is going to grow up to be a badass she/they lesbian with rage issues and we’re so proud of her <3

morgana is also a lesbian and my good pal @leo-undrgrnd here put it marvelously

morgana experiencing some compulsive hetero behavior with drake of this i am positively certain

megavolt got some serious tboy energy going on. also gay. source: i feel it in me bones

quackerjack is gay and equipped with an arsenal of clown themed pronouns the likes of which you could not possibly begin to imagine. his gender is wild and incomprehensible and honk intends to make it everyone’s problem

bushroot has got to realize he’s actually a woman sooner or later. for now he’s just obsessed with earning respect from his toxic peers and hooboy the self reflection and personal revelations are going to take a while at this rate

as for the liquidator imma be real i have No idea. he gives me agender vibes tbh? like a he/him with absolutely no attachment to gender whatsoever. probably responds to anything

ngl i don’t spend much time thinking abt negaduck but i’d say he’s pretty much just like drake in most respects

gizmoduck is like?? straight trans man maybe? it’s hard to tell bc i haven’t seen much of this verison of him yet and his character is pretty simple so far so idk. it’s free real estate as far as i’m concerned

perhaps more hcs to come as i watch more of the show and i will probably be updating some of these tbh. it’s too early to tell for some of them

[allgirlsareprincesses]

What did you think about fourth wing??? I'm dying to know. There isn't enough hate (coherent analysis) about these US Air Force Propaganda books. Please share your thoughts ☕ if you feel like it of course. I just really love reading your analysis about character building and romance 💋

HOOBOY. Brace yourself for the negativity. And for those of you who enjoyed Fourth Wing, turn back now and preserve your peace!

Firstly, I lowered my expectations going into this book. Not so much because I thought it would be bad, or I wouldn't have bothered, but because I've been burned before (I liked ACOTAR but hated ACOMAF and quit it about 3/4 the way through... I try to keep my negativity to a minimum but maybe some day I should post my full rant on that series, too). For the most part, I can be satisfied with a proactive heroine and a brisk pace.

And for the first half of the book or so, that's what I got. I liked Violet and the way she used her wits and studies to overcome obstacles, and I was charmed by her friends and dragons. Xaden struck me as kind of a cookie-cutter Sexy Emo Bad Boy, but that's okay. As long as Violet was having a fun adventure, she could have a steamy romance with the tattooed hottie, too. Dain sucked, but to his credit, at least he was written as sucking from the jump instead of like Tamlin who was character assassinated in the second book...

But then, once Xaden decided that he needed to personally oversee Violet's protection instead of just Liam, I started to notice that our heroine had stopped driving the action. Suddenly, she was reacting to things that happened instead of making plans and following through. She stopped using her wits and her book knowledge, she didn't pursue the obvious mysteries that should have intrigued her, and she just generally retreated into more of a helpless damsel than she had started. And here was Xaden, being JUST as controlling and protective as Dain, but because he's sexy and has a magical justification for his protectiveness, he gets a pass.

And then the worst part. It's revealed that Xaden's not ACTUALLY a bad boy at all. In reality, he's secretly noble and generous and self-sacrificial. Just like Rhys, this guy with the Dark Prince aesthetic is actually secretly perfect, and he's also been obsessed with the heroine since he first met her. So there's not REALLY any way for him to grow or any conflict for him to overcome, because he's already this perfect, flawless, blameless hero. And Violet doesn't figure out his secret on her own through clever sleuthing, doesn't defy expectations to do something no one else will do, she just discovers Xaden's noble crusade and decides to go along with it. Because why wouldn't she? He's already done all the hard moral work (or so we're told) of risking everything for an enemy. Now she just gets to go into battle and nearly die so that Xaden can have Man Pain.

It was just deja vu. Once again, a proactive heroine became passive when confronted with the perfect sexy man with the bad boy aesthetic. So BORING.

And lest you think I'm being too critical, I want to point out a variation on this story that I actually love: The Folk of the Air series, by Holly Black. In that story, Jude is similarly a proactive heroine who meets a sexy bad boy, but there are two key differences in her story: one is that she never STOPS being proactive. Take a look at all of the major plot points in that trilogy: nearly all of them are created by Jude herself, and frequently when she's taking action in opposition to what other characters (even allies) want. Jude makes plans, she follows through, she takes risks, she defies convention. The other major difference is that Carden is ACTUALLY a bad boy at the start of his story. He's a selfish, vindictive brat, and it takes him a long time to grow to a place of maturity (at which point he's still not perfect, but he's better). So he doesn't just have the Dark Prince aesthetic while being secretly perfect - he's actually a real antagonist to Jude, which makes their story much more compelling.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Hope you enjoyed this rant.

[epersonae]

You've made me mad with power. Director's Cut of "I Spit On Your Grave", please.

Obviously I wanted -- no, needed -- to write a fic where Stede finds out what actually happened with Izzy while he was gone.

It is a key aspect of my Bad Ending fic in case I never make it through to where you are that Stede does NOT know, because I think otherwise he would have actually killed Izzy in that fic. I had a lovely long conversation with my therapist about that, both that fic generally and this question of knowing what was done to someone you love who is gone. Because HOOBOY did s2 kick up all my feelings about Ryn's parents, especially their mother; there was a piece of information that I found out after Ryn died that made me so angry I did seriously have a full-blown panic attack about it.

So yeah, I was always going to write something, but part of my writing process especially with shorter works is that I need a hook, something to get me into it -- an image or a sentence, something concrete to pull together whatever messy ideas have been spinning around in the blender.

And of course, I might have written it sooner (and it would have been a different fic) but I did break my leg right before Christmas, and that basically took me out not just physically but also mentally for about two months. I actually started making some notes in late January but I didn't have any stamina to do the writing until late February.

I knew the hook was going to be a bit back from the actual harm -- I've been fascinated by this question of how Izzy never says that "his captain" is actually Blackbeard since way back in my first watches of the show, and then there's kind of a running joke around here about how Stede always leads describing the meet-cute with "so I'd been gut-stabbed" like babygirl what. And the phrase "just happened upon our ship" or whatever that is, when MY DUDE HE'S BEEN FOLLOWING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME. The whole thing has this mix of Izzy having been lying through his teeth and Stede being hilariously oblivious that cries out for something to dig into.

And then I saw this post by @iamadequate1, and OH OKAY. Because weaponized therapy language and isolation in emotional abuse is something that, well. Yeah. Plus it had all the relevant bits of dialogue in one post! Plus I'd been thinking about Izzy as an unreliable narrator for almost two years, and I'd been thinking specifically about people with uhhhhhh a "flexible relationship with the truth" (to use a line from the fic), and a tendency to say different things to different people in order to evade responsibility.

So I made some notes, according to the document history at the end of January, and then probably either went back to sleep or back to watching Perry Mason. Came back to it in late February, and the first two-thirds or so came together pretty quickly and then I got stuck. I knew I wanted something with Stede yelling at the grave, but I'd sort of written myself into a corner where that didn't seem to be happening. (Basically, got to the point where he holds Ed while Ed is crying.)

And then I saw THIS post by @celluloidbroomcloset, and something clicked together about "doggie heaven" and the parallel with Ned Low, and somehow that was the rug that tied the room together. Probably because also they're both dead, Izzy and Ned, and that leads to this question of the impossibility of revenge, and that so much of the time there's just nothing you can do, really, and that also hurts. Even if they're not dead; there's just no point, like what the fuck are you gonna do, exactly? Which is sort of where the Mary parallel comes in, I think, and also not giving Izzy credit for bringing them together, because that's all them.

All in all this is a really special fic for me, trying to find this balancing point where things are pretty good for them, actually, but they still need to work through their respective hurts and be properly seen -- fill in all the blanks so they can move forward.