#okay well~ additional thoughts in the tags
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
skyborneveggie · 19 hours ago
Text
@shydroid3000 your addition & @dancing-lex's tags!!!!!
#you're so right that he devalues everyone else except for L#i like that you compared light to descartes' views on vivisection#because to light theres something inherent to the people he kills especially#he doesnt think of them as rational beings#its in their nature maybe
And it's okay to not feel bad about the screams, really, because... well, he's God of the New World, and this is what a god does, and he's still *good* deep down, because it's all for a greater good. After all, humans are to a God kind of like what other animals are to a human, right?
It almost seems like to Light, he and L are the only two people he truly, truly conceives of as thinking beings in a way that really 'counts'... Like, other people walk around in their bodies having thoughts and feelings.
...This is reminding me of a post I have been trying to draft up about a very subtle Calvinist theme in Death Note, and how Light uses his own Shinto-esque version of the doctrine of reprobation vs. election to dehumanize & categorize people into boxes without feeling guilty about it.
The difference is that in Calvinism, humanity is seen as naturally evil so the original dichotomy is "people who exist in their natural evil state & cannot escape it of their own free will" vs "people whom God chooses to save".
Whereas in Shinto, humanity is seen as naturally pure, so the dichotomy for Light becomes "people who Kira must sacrifice for natural good to emerge" vs "people who did not need to be sacrificed."
Both Kira & the Calvinist god dehumanize people by removing their agency. It doesn't matter if you're a good person trying to do the right thing; if you're against them or stand in the way, you're taken out regardless.
I think this explains also why Light, even though he feels awful about killing his first two "bad" victims, feels absolutely no guilt about killing innocent people who get in his way after committing to his goal; even the very first time when you would think he might. At the core it's not about "good" vs. "bad" for him. It's about sacrifice, and he views the sacrifice of both good and bad people as morally equal.
Tumblr media
Like you said, he doesn't see people as people. He sees them as agency-less pawns that are less alive than he is. And like you said, the one exception to this is L, who started out as someone who needed to be sacrificed, but in the end exceeds the two dehumanized boxes in Light's mind. He becomes a real person; a living, thinking being that Light needs to incapacitate for personal & emotional reasons, and not just in the name of impersonal sacrifice.
Light is someone who perceives a very strong separation between the body and the mind, and is very disconnected from his own body. And I do wonder if, by nature of them being so similar, this is something he projects onto L as well; & helps him divorce the thought of the death of L's body (ie. his shell) from the death of L's mind (ie. his true self). So Light kills the body, the part of L that isn't really him, to incapacitate his mind, not kill it. He's compartmentalized it in such a way where he doesn't have to think of death as being true death.
It isn't until Light is about to die himself that he is able to mentally bridge the connection between his body & his own conscious existence, and realize what it really means to die.
184 notes · View notes
meamiki · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D
(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)
(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- edited now this is just act 3 spoilers for the art LMAO#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#<- i promise this is the last time in a long long time i tag someone who only shows up with their back turned#but in my defense they also are here four times so i think the tag is justified SADASFA#time for a messier secondary post underneath the first WAHOOOO#to start!! random art tidbits!! no one is looking at siffrin in these!!#mira and isa are looking away while odile and bonnie have their eyes closed#in my minds eye these are the A4 versions of the FQ so siffrin internally is Not Having A Good Time#i just thought itd be fun to incorporate somehow as an extra easter egg detail kinda!#also i tried to make the bgs mildly accurate to location in game and its the reason why isa got to have one (1) singular tree in the bg#laaast art tidbit is that i took a bit of a creative liberty with bonnies#well i did with all of them but still#since its not explicitly stated sif god up immediately after tripping they get to stay on the floor in the drawing#i just thought itd be fun for the drawing!!#moving onto general tidbits in addition to the time fun fact i also decided the posting time#specifically so itd be in the middle of me having back to back to back meetings so can't second guess myself in posting this HAHA#every time i post any form of text based ramble on characters or even headcanons i Fear#and YEAH i am probably just being overly nitpicky towards myself on analysis that can prob be read several diff ways cuz interpretation#but i really really really dont want to fumble so badly to the point of mischaracterizing anyone since i like them a lot!!#still working on getting over that but hey at least i am trying and thats all i can ask of myself i think!#okay now time to Lie Down im writing these tags after stream#tag talk over into q u go :]#partial pin
83 notes · View notes
sn0wbat · 11 months ago
Note
Just for fun if you’d like:
If you put your vampires into the Pokédex what types would they have?
well, considering the vampirism, they'd all likely end up with dark type just by default... so let's get a little more creative!! (some still get dark type because it fits their vibe)
Tumblr media
morten: fairy. absolutely a fairy type
einarr: psychic/water (huge nerd scholar. mindreader. thrives at sea)
bat: flying/dark (goes bump in the night :3)
rune: normal/ghost? (sure is an undead mystery boy)
Tumblr media
helena: fire.
loki: dark/fire (literally runs a cult)
eli: grass. bug? just got those cottagecore vibes
stone: rock.
rupert: water/ghost
Tumblr media
tiberius: water. just pure water. aquarius man
the lord: dark/dragon (evil. menacing and terrible)
laugar: poison/bug :)
kvikindi: bug/dragon (they're a lil shapeshifter who turned into a dragon sometimes)
and then my uhh. vampiresona-
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ice/flying. sure
15 notes · View notes
its-wabby-stuff · 1 year ago
Note
Yes yes, exactly. Naruto is trying to juggle a lot of pots that he doesn’t know what to do with. There would probably be a war arc after a time skip, where everything would go down and so many things would be revealed such as Zetsus true plans and a tentail revival, but hopefully Sasuke and Sakura would be able to convince Naruto to come back.
Oh man your big bro Sasuke ask sent me spiraling back into my own AU I made after finishing Naruto I called the Team 7 swap.
It was a swap between Team Minato and Team 7 which switch places and timelines. Naruto took over Obitos place raised by his father during the second and third Shinobi war and founded/joined the Akatsuki under Black Zetsus puppetry planning to get all the tailed beasts together to destroy their collective villages. He uses his Talk no jutsu to convince a lot of people to join him.
Sakura was made the three tails jinchuriki and because of her and Sasukes collective smarts, she was placed under a genjutsu before reaching the village and Minato helped reseal the three tails safely. She is now head of the healing department, under lady fourth and teaching young students to implement Tsunadaes plans for each team to have a healing nin.
Sasuke stayed in the village and wound up a Genin instructor to take on three students. Danzo did the Uchiha massacre but Sasuke was able to stop it before everyone died, but it was still a huge blow to his clan and most of the men died. Luckily, Danzos actions were enough to get him killed. He has his younger brother Itachi, a prodigy in his own right. His genin students are Kakashi, son of the white fang, Obito, one of the last Uchiha, and Rin, a promising healing kunoichi with a dark secret.
Jariya joins the Akatsuki with their justice and peace ambitions after seeing Naruto’s potential and reuniting with Konan, Yahiko and Nagato. Orochimaru doesn’t leave the village, being inspired by Sasukes growth to stick around. Tsunadae also doesn’t leave, inspired by Sakuras growth. Minato however, does leave the village after losing his son and wife, and goes into a drunken gambling fit, becoming a shell of what was once the yellow flash of the leaf. He’ll have a built in redemption to replace the Tsunadae arc.
Okay okay, but what happens to Naruto and Jiraya? How does the Ame trio work here? What is little Rin's big secret? Does three tails Sakura fight as well?? How stressed is Sasuke-sensei? I have so many questions, please tell me you're writing it sonewhere??
97 notes · View notes
zepskies · 5 days ago
Text
Headcanon: Flirting (And Jealousy)
Tumblr media
Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Beau Arlen x Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader, Russell Shaw x Reader
AN: This one was requested by one of my lovely Patreon members, @lacilou. And surprise! For the first time, I'm trying out adding Russell Shaw to the lineup because I thought he'd be an interesting addition for this prompt. 💜
Prompt: How would Dean, Ben & Beau react to either other men flirting with us or them obliviously/cluelessly letting other women flirt with them? And how we would react to them -- like how they'd make it up to us, their excuses, etc.
HC: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw would react to someone flirting with you. (And others flirting with them.)
Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, oblivious flirting, unwanted advances, jealousy, some toxic masculinity (you know Ben 🙄), but ultimately lots of fluff, and some spice too.~
Tumblr media
Dean Winchester
Tumblr media
Dean isn't one to get jealous...at first.
He knows you're hot as hell. He pretty much expects guys to try and shoot their shot.
Plus, he's secure enough in his relationship with you to know you wouldn't consciously entertain someone who's flirting with you.
He also knows you're strong enough to take care of yourself, even with a persistent asshole.
However.
The second a man gets into your face or tries to put his hands on you, Dean's stepping in -- either to twist the man's arm nearly out of its socket, or deliver a swift punch between the eyes, or his personal favorite, grabbing the back of the guy's neck and slamming his face onto the counter.
Dean finds the sound of bone breaking against varnished wood, followed closely by the heavy tripping thud of a body to the floor, deeply satisfying.
You heave a sigh. Not because you're all that annoyed at Dean, but because you tried to warn the guy.
Now, Dean knows he used to be...well, a "ladies man," putting it mildly. He's improvised more panty-dropping one-liners than a Magic Mike stripper. His success rate is 9-and-10 (because there's always room for improvement).
He directs all that flirtatious, playful, sexual energy on you. He's fallen for you, committed to you, and once he makes a decision with his heart, Dean Winchester doesn't have an unfaithful bone in his body.
However.
He can't altogether stop women from flirting with him. Like at one of the many diners you, Sam, and Dean stop to eat at after a hunt.
"Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" the waitress says. She brushes her hand up his arm and squeezes his shoulder, giving Dean a too-bright smile that leaves nothing to the imagination (at least to you).
He smiles back at her. "Thanks, sweetheart."
It's like a reflex. He thinks he's being polite. He doesn't even follow the path of her hip-swaying walk with his eyes -- like he certainly would've before he met you.
You still stare at Dean incredulously. When the woman walks away, he smiles at you as if nothing happened. Sam wisely keeps to himself and sips his beer, hiding a smirk.
Dean notices the way your lips are pursed, bitchface activated. "What?" he asks.
You cross your arms. "Really?"
He frowns. "What's the matter?"
"Really. You need me to tell you not to let that woman eye-fucking you to put her hands all over you?" You shake your head. More dryly you add, "Right in front of me, too. I gotta give it to her, she's got brass balls."
Dean is bewildered, but then he replays the moment in his head and realizes that you're right. He kinda fucked up.
He sees the way you're getting all testy, and he has to chuckle.
"Okay. I'm sorry, sweetheart. My bad."
He reaches for your hand and manages to uncross your arms. You're stubborn in your irritation, but Dean is the king of persuasion, giving you teasing, flirty bedroom eyes and waggling brows as he pulls you towards him.
If you're still reluctant to soften, he adds, "Come on, don't be a sourpuss. Come 'ere."
Eventually he breaks you, making you laugh and hit his arm with no real force behind it.
Even Sam shakes his head, seeing how his brother manages to pacify you by sliding his arm around your shoulders across the booth. Dean leans in and kisses along your neck. He inhales your scent and hums in pleasure.
Sam clears his throat. He has to awkwardly look away.
"Gonna forgive me?" Dean asks, his lips moving against your skin. "Though I gotta admit, I kinda like it when you're jealous. All growly and fiesty. Got myself a little tiger."
You roll your eyes, but your lips tug at a smile. Your face warms in a blush, especially as his hand wanders under your jacket and teasingly up your side.
You slip your fingers into his hair, making sure to give a sharp little tug on it for good measure. He just laughs.
Oh, you'll forgive him, but maybe you'll make him do a little more penance when you all get back home.
Tumblr media
Beau Arlen
Tumblr media
Beau is a jealous man from the onset when a man flirts with you.
His lips purse, his jaw clicks, and he keeps a firm eye on the situation. He doesn't like it.
But to his credit, he tries not to act on it right away, letting you handle it the way you want to.
However, like Dean, the moment someone gets into your personal space or tries to touch you, he's pulling out some Sheriff moves.
If the man grabs at you, Beau's got his arm twisted behind his back so fast, he can almost feel ligaments popping. Beau gives a calm, but firm warning before sending the guy on his way. (He'd like to do more, but the department frowns on excessive violence.)
Maybe part of you gets annoyed at the show of jealousy, but a larger part of you can't help but be turned on when he protects you. You know it's not because he thinks you need protecting, but because he wants to.
"Can't help it, darlin'," he's said. "It's just how I was raised."
But you're the one that bristles when Danielle, a PTA mom at Emily's school, flirts with him. She laughs at his corny jokes with her white teeth and her perfectly layered and coiffed blonde hair.
She even gives him an extra cookie from her offering at the school's bake sale. (She knows what most of this town knows -- that the way to the Sheriff's heart is all too often through his stomach.)
Beau just nods along, smiling polite with that charming grin of his, totally oblivious while he eats. The last straw for you is when she wipes a bit of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.
Your mouth falls open in shock. "Are you shitting me?"
You accidentally say it out loud, earning not only your boyfriend's surprised look, but Danielle's guilty one as well. (And some of the kids.)
Blushing in embarrassment, you pivot on your heel and start packing up your supplies for the bake sale.
That's when Beau realizes that he fucked up.
He politely excuses himself from Danielle and goes to help you (wiping the crumbs off his face and licking chocolate off his thumb). He can tell you're feeling more than a little icy towards him, but he tries to make up for it by doing all the heavy lifting, bringing back things to the car, and helping you with the bags before he calls Emily over.
It's a long car ride home, awkward and tense. Emily can tell something's off between you and her dad, but when she asks about it, you claim nothing's wrong.
Beau knows better.
He waits until the three of you get home to the apartment you share with him, and after putting the bake sale stuff away, he follows you into the bedroom.
"Sweetheart--"
"What the hell was that, Beau?" You come in hot with it, and Beau is quick to try and ease your tension with an apology.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Couldn't you see that she was eyeing you like a honey-glazed ham?"
Beau's lips twitch at a grin, but you're not amused. You cross your arms and give him a warning look. That's when he wises up.
"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." He chances taking a few slow steps towards you, raising his brows and keeping his hands up in surrender.
You eye him narrowly, but you let him get close enough to slip his arms around you. He gathers you against his chest and presses a lingering kiss to your cheek.
"I mean it. Won't happen again," he promises. His hands mold to the curve of your waist and squeeze gently. His lips move, burning a sweet path along your jawline, your chin, over the apple of your cheeks, and finally your lips. You breathe into it, and you can't help but cling to the front of his buttoned-down shirt.
"Do me a favor," you say quietly between kisses. "Don't eat Danielle's cookies."
Beau smiles against your lips. "Don't you worry, darlin'. From now on, I'll tell her that I've got some good cookie at home."
Tumblr media
Soldier Boy (Ben)
Tumblr media
Oh, Ben doesn't fuck around.
...Well, in the sense that he can't tolerate another man even looking at you flirtatiously, or otherwise with any kind of intent.
Depending on the severity, at best, it'll have Ben shooting the man a stony look of warning.
At worst, it ruins the day -- namely with the sound of bone snapping and a man's sobbing howl of pain.
You try to get him to tone it down ("For God's sake, Ben. It's fine. Just relax."), but this is one thing he well and truly doesn't budge on.
Ben is possessive. Because you're his. His to touch, and his to protect.
In his mind, it's fucking simple.
Whenever you get irritated with this brutish, knuckle-dragging, caveman mentality, you try to remember why he does it.
It's indicative of how much he actually cares about you.
Because if he didn't, he wouldn't really give a shit if other men were flirting with you. (He'd just find another woman to try and charm back to his apartment.)
So you've learned how to try and finesse these situations so that Ben doesn't notice.
You've also stopped letting down men easy, proverbially cutting off their dick and balls with your words.
Because it's quite literally to save their dumbass life.
But when other women flirt with Ben, he takes it all with indulgent smiles, throwing in a wink and a sweetheart every now and then.
He doesn't blame them for flirting with him, checking him out. He's Soldier Boy, after all, and in his mind, it's not his fault they can't help themselves around him.
However, a smile and a wink is all that he allows himself.
If he truly cares about you (and though he doesn't often express it in words, he does), then the unfamiliar twinge of guilt stops him whenever he almost accepts a woman's alluring invitation--spoken or unspoken.
His mouth might spew arrogance and gilded lies, but his actions too often betray what he really feels.
And what he really feels can't be any more clear than when he goes after you, instead of indulging the woman who basically undressed him with her eyes, whispered sultry, sexy offerings in his ear, and invited him to go home with her.
Seeing you take off out the double doors of the club, Ben rolls his eyes. He brushes the woman off without a backwards glance, and follows you out into the night air. He grabs your hand before you can get far in your heels.
"What the hell's the matter now?" he asks dryly.
You turn on him with an incredulous look.
"That woman was practically sucking your neck, Ben!"
"All right, don't fucking overreact. You're getting hysterical," he says, before guiding you back into his arms.
"I'm not fucking hysterical, you ass!" You push against his chest, but he doesn't budge, nor does he let you go. This isn't a good area, and he doesn't want you out in these streets at this time of night without him at your side.
"Ben," you say sharply. You look up at him in irritation, but he just smirks and strokes your side with his thumb.
Yes, (in his mind) you're being a little difficult, but he thinks your jealousy is amusing, adorable, and kind of hot all at the same time.
Ben doesn't bother with saying anything more to convince you. He just slips a hand behind your neck and kisses you soundly.
He invades your mouth with his tongue and devours you, reminding you that you're the one he wants.
He waylays you with his strong hands framing your body against his, and with his sinful mouth, until you finally melt into his embrace.
He's chosen you countless time before, and he knows he'll keep choosing you, for as long as this lasts.
Tumblr media
Russell Shaw
Tumblr media
Russell always clocks the "situation" right away when a man starts to flirt with you.
He's not one to make a scene of it at first, depending on the time and place.
But he is quick to sidle up to your side, pointedly slip a hand along your waist, and greet you with a deceptive smile.
"Hey, sweetheart. Let's grab that table over there. 'S more comfortable than the bar."
He glances up at the man, sharpness hidden well behind his green eyes. Whether the guy picks up on it or not, Russell is making a mugshot in his mind -- and he never forgets a face.
You eye him knowingly, but you let him guide you away. He's kind of cute when he's jealous, and it doesn't take much to spark that well of protectiveness that lies in wait just under his skin.
Russell isn't easily fazed by most things, but one sure way to provoke his temper (and those rougher, darker shades of him that he tries his best not to show you) is for a man to push his luck with you.
It really wouldn't take much effort at all for the former soldier to have a man clutching his bloody, shattered nose, let alone to dump his broken body in front of the closest hospital. But somehow, Russell manages to curb those darker urges. (Again, don't tempt him.)
But when another woman flirts with him, you're the one who starts to have steam coming out of your ears.
Russell doesn't miss much. He recognizes the sultry inflection in the woman's words. He catches the subtle, sensuous gleam in her eyes when she rakes him up and down with them.
He also notes the moment you look over and realize what's happening.
Regardless if you're looking or not, he tries his best to stay distant, but polite, even as a warning twinge of "aww shit" runs up his spine.
He tries to play things off with an amiable smile and being purposefully oblivious.
Until the woman gets bold, slipping her hand over Russell's and up his arm a bit, before she withdraws, tilting her head with a sweet-as-pie smile.
Cue Russ's awkward laugh/clearing of the throat. Before he has time to fully pull away and just come out with the, Sorry, I actually have a girlfriend -- you return to his side and pointedly grab his hand.
"Come on, honey, we'll be late," you say, giving him a tense smile.
The aww shit feeling is back, but Russell just nods and falls into step with you.
When you two have enough privacy to hash it out, you let him have it.
"What the hell was that?!"
Russell can't help but chuckle. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I tried to keep it classy, but that woman was persistent. Not that I blame her--"
"Oh, shut up." You roll your eyes (not that you really blame her either). Then you stare at your man in annoyance, crossing your arms. "I didn't see you trying all that hard to fend her off, huh, Romeo? If another man had touched me like that, you would've broken his fingers off, like a fucking caveman."
Russell's brows raise at the dig, but the way you're getting all testy is kind of cute (and also kinda hot).
"All right. You got me there," he says. He slips his arms around your waist and tries to soften you with a charming grin. "Come on, sweetheart. You know I'm not going anywhere."
"Do I?" you blurt out, before you have a chance to reign it back in.
Russell's contract jobs take him all over the country -- all over the world. Yes, he's on his way out, he claims. He wants to settle down with you, or so he says.
But you have no idea of knowing what he does when he's not with you.
All those days out on the road, crashing in skeevy motels, winding down at dive bars -- has he ever been tempted to "sample" the local fare? Has he ever...
Russell's amusement fades, sobering into a frown and a furrowing of his brows. He hums in disapproval. He doesn't like what he's seeing in your eyes: doubt, most of all.
"Hey," he says. It's a serious tone you don't often hear in his voice. He curls a finger under your chin and tilts your face up to meet his.
"I'm gonna need you to listen to me, and listen good," he says. You frown at that, but he brushes his thumb across your cheek, a small, but tender caress. "You and me, we've got something good. I know what that means. So you can believe me when I say, I'm in this. I'm right here, even when I'm not here."
And he smiles at you. "That make sense?"
Slowly, you start to smile too. "Not really," you laugh.
But it does. You know what he's trying to say, and...you believe him. Your fingers curl in the front of his shirt.
Tentatively, you lean up and press your lips to his; just a sweet, slow meeting.
Russell cups your cheek and leans in for a deeper taste, a deeper conviction of every word he just said.
I love you, is what it really means, even if he's not able to say that just yet.
Tumblr media
AN: 😮‍💨 Well, there we go! lol I love me a protective man. 💜 Hope you enjoy this set of headcanons!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Join My Patreon 🌟 Get early access to new stories, bonus content, and first looks at upcoming stories, send me requests, and more!
Dean Winchester Imagines
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Beau Arlen Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Russell Shaw Masterlist
Main Masterlist 
Tumblr media
Dean, Beau, Soldier Boy + Russell Tag List (Part 1)
If you would like to get notified every time I post a story, feel free to follow my side blog @zepskieswrites with notifications on so you don't miss out. 💜
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl
@thebiggerbear @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @riteofpassage77
@deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @sanscas @mxltifxnd0m @suckitands33
@kaleldobrev @spnwoman @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @pieandmonsters @trashmoutth
@globetrotter28 @adoringanakin @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean @tayl0rfanatic
@chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @spnfamily-j2 @everything-is-all-clear
@deansbbyx @sarahgracej @chernayawidow @mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2
@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse @twinkleinadiamondsky
@my-stories-vault @kayleighwinchester @rizlowwritessortof @cookiechipdough @sixxteenbullets
@tmb510 @syrma-sensei @artemys-ackles @malindacath @mrsjenniferwinchester
Tumblr media
560 notes · View notes
readwritealldayallnight · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Promises
Captain John Price x Reader
wc: 1.2k words
warnings/tags: fluff fluff fluff
Tumblr media
“You’ll check the doors? Windows as well, aye?”
“Yes, John. I’ll make sure they’re locked before bed.” You reassure the man, holding the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you do exactly that, tugging on the window latches to ensure they’re shut properly, walking past each door to spy the locks are in fact in place. “No one will be coming in and touching your cigars, I can assure you of that.”
“Hm. Got precious cargo I’m more concerned about these days, than cigars.” He quips back, playing into your attempt to lighten the situation. John hasn’t been gone on deployment for a full 24 hours yet and already he’s finding himself missing you more than he thought possible. He knew being apart from you was going to be difficult, especially considering that this mission was likely to take a few months rather than a few weeks, but he hadn’t anticipated struggling so early on.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone touch your scotch either.” You say and he can just picture you adding a mischievous wink at the end. He finds himself suddenly wondering if he has any photos of you where you’re winking at him, and he feels regret creeping into his stomach at the realization that no, he probably doesn’t. Now he’s got nothing but his memory to rely on when he wants to imagine your playful expression.
It’s not as if John hadn’t made a point of taking more candid shots of you once he’d learned about how long this upcoming mission was to take. He wanted to have something tangible, something real he could wrap his fingers around, lay his weary gaze upon and be gifted with the sight of his beloved smiling back at him. And if a thick stack of Polaroids each adorned with varying expressions of your visage find themselves stuffed into the pocket of his tactical vest right above where his heart beats only for you, well then his men had best mind their business about it.
His last ditch effort to capture your beauty, to bring along with him a small fragment of the joy you bring to his life every day he spends by your side, had melted your heart thoroughly. It was sometimes hard to imagine your soft, loving teddy bear of a man, having to turn on his Captain persona and intimidate enemies on a battlefield. But then you’d hear him shouting at the television, going on about how some wanker was making a mockery of ‘The Price is Right’ (a show the two of you watched too often, if only so that John had more of an excuse to slip ‘well ya know, they do say Price is right, after all’ into arguments), or you’d catch him glaring at anyone he felt was looking at you the wrong way in public, and you couldn’t deny he was to be in a position of command.
“Don’t go answerin’ the door for anyone either, love. And make sure that the-”
“John, I’ll be okay. I promise, I’ll be careful.” You attempt to convince him before he spirals further. A man of action, John had been keeping busy in the time leading up to his departure. Trips to the hardware store to buy additional locks for the front door, jammers for the window panes, researching various brands of security systems, even going as far as speaking a little louder in the hallways outside your flat door, letting anyone who lived near enough know that a man lived here as well, not wanting anyone to know you’d be alone and vulnerable.
“I know, m’sorry to keep pestering you love.” The Captain sighs into the phone, running a hand down his phone before glancing back over his shoulder at the room. He knows he doesn’t have much more time to keep talking with you. Really, he shouldn’t have called at all, but John just couldn’t help himself. This is how he gets when it comes to you. Nothing else matters as much when it comes to you. And so yes, he admits he is being selfish by holding everyone else up in the briefing room as they wait for his return, but he doesn’t know when he’ll get to hear your voice again, and what’s the point of being Captain if you can’t pull strings when they matter? “Just wanna know you’ll be safe.”
“Now why do I feel as though I should be the one asking you that question, hm?” Your question brings a soft smile to his face. God, he misses you so much already. “You made it to- wherever you are- alright?”
“I did.” He confirms, casting another glance across the room. He can see them loading up trucks with supplies as you speak. He hates that he can’t ever tell you where he is. Can’t tell you that this base is just one of countless destinations where he’ll sleep in a bed that feels too empty without you by his side. Can’t tell you that each meal portion he eats tastes blander without you sitting across from him. “Though we’re not stayin’ here long. Flyin’ out early again in the mornin’.”
“Hm.” You hum along in response, knowing he can’t give you details, satisfied with any bit of information he can offer you in its place. “You promise me, you’ll be safe John Price. I don’t like those stories of Gaz falling out of helicopters.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing that’s the only story I’m ever lettin’ him tell you.” John can’t help but to laugh along with you, before falling more serious again, knowing he’ll have to hang up soon and leave you. “Trust me love. You don’t need to be worrying your pretty little head over me. There isn’t anythin’ that could keep me from comin’ home to you. Nothin’.”
His declaration has tears threatening to sting the corners of your eyes, treasuring this moment with him, even an unknown distance apart, knowing it’ll be some time until you can speak again. You can hear the background noise of wherever he is increasing in volume. You overhear someone shout his name, no doubt looking for him. You know your time is up for now, and that you’ll have to be the one to bite the bullet. He’s never the first one to hang up the phone with you, and this time is no different.
“I love you John. So much. I’ll see you soon.” You whisper into the receiver, hoping he can feel the love you speak into each word meant only for him.
“I love you, angel. So much. Be back before you know it.” He says, waiting to hear the ‘click’ on the other side of the line before stuffing his phone back into his slacks.
It’s true, what he said to you. There truly isn’t anything, so long as he can help it, that will keep him from coming back home to you. Not when he’s made a promise to do exactly that. Not when he’s got a small box stuffed into three pairs of socks hiding in his underwear drawer in your flat, hiding a shiny little ring he’s been holding on to since your second date. Not when he intends to make his biggest promise to you yet as soon as he’s home and holding you in his arms again, where you belong.
579 notes · View notes
theealbatross · 7 months ago
Text
marry me (s.s.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Plot | The 3 times Sebastian thought about marrying you and the 1 time he asked.
Tags | miscommunication, mentions of murder and poisonings, fluff, implied smut, dangerous idiots in love, fluff, 6k-ish words
A/N: sorry this took so long i went on a vacation! One of the funniest line about Ominis locking the two of them up was written by @/shinzhon in our discord server!
Series Masterlist - the rest of the chapters here
Tumblr media
“Seriously Sebastian, how many times has it been this month?”
“It’s not my fault this time, I swear!”
“So, you slipped and somehow ended up in the Restricted Section? Is there some secret passage I hadn’t known about? Care to share to the class?” Ominis pinned him with a look and despite knowing his friend was blind Sebastian still raised his hands in surrender. Ominis sighed, there was no point really. When he had agreed to be friends with the troublesome boy in their first year he had signed up for this. It’s his fault for not seeing the mischievousness in those innocent brown eyes.
“I’m surprised,” Ominis continued as he started the trek back to their common room, the painful small talks he had with the headmaster in order to prevent anything getting sent to Solomon already fading as he got further away from the office. He could only imagine the absolute hell the old man would’ve sent their way if he had heard of his rendezvous in the Restricted Section. “It just isn’t like you.”
Sebastian scoffed, “To be in the Restricted Section? Where have you been the past year?”
“No, you idiot,” he hissed. “It isn’t like you to be caught.”
The falter in Sebastian’s steps had him raising an eyebrow, neck snapping back in accusation. “I’ve been caught once,” Sebastian reminded him quickly of the time Scribner first put the anti-Alohamora charm in the doors of the Restricted Section.
"I'm not finished," He’s hiding something. “It isn’t like you to be caught twice.”
He stopped on his track at the sound of Sebastian’s wince. “Okay, don’t be mad –”
“Oh no.”
“The new fifth-year needed some help to get in the restricted section because – well, I actually can’t tell you, she made me swear – and it’s bigger than the both of us and it was going so well! But Peeves caught just as we were about to –”
“Honestly, Sebastian, enough!”
He didn’t need to hear any of this.
Sebastian was right. Whatever great big mess that new kid was in the middle of was bigger than the both of them. And he has had more than enough on his plate trying to keep his friend out of trouble without the additional presence of another mysterious adrenaline junkie being thrown in the mix – one who was worryingly a magnet for big trouble. It was no wonder Sebastian was transfixed; he was looking at the damn mirror.
“Whatever fascination you have with that girl ends now,” It doesn’t escape him how much he sounded like a father getting in-between two lovers. He would’ve laughed in incredulity at the current situation he had found himself in if he wasn’t so bloody frustrated. “You get in enough trouble on your own, she doesn’t need to be sucking you up in her own problems.”
Sebastian makes a sound that doesn’t sound like a ‘yes, Ominis’ and the blond’s blood vessels nearly pop. He cannot believe this.
“Come on, it wasn’t like that. Honestly, she was brilliant! You should’ve been there; she took to the Disillusionment spell so quick that if we hadn’t let out guard down, we –”
“Oh, Merlin’s Beard, why don’t you marry the damn girl and the both of you leave me out of your tomfooleries!”
That would be ideal, he thinks. In a perfect world, he’s going to lock the two of them in a room and eat the key. There he would have no daily nuisances, won’t have to worry about sneaky Slytherins and the explosion of troubles they bring with them, and won’t need to suffer through Headmaster Black’s presence to get them out of it. A thankless job that brought nothing but headaches.
It was only when he was out of his blissful reverie that he realized his headache had stopped walking behind him seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
No.
“Sebastian … “
The other boy audibly flinched, his breath now irregular, and Ominis will bet all the galleons in the Gaunt’s vault that if he could see his old friend’s face would be as red as a Gryffindor’s arse right now.
He could almost cry, his palms producing embarrassing cold sweats at the absolute worst-case scenario unfolding in front of his unseeing eyes. “Please – I am begging you – not this one.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Oh no, no, no.
Suddenly, the prospect of Sebastian and this troublemaker getting together was not that idyllic. In quick successions, all possible worst-case scenario popped in Ominis head. Sebastian was bad enough, if he had someone who was equally as reckless and rash as him it would be something out of his worst nightmare.
Ominis is a good person. This can’t be happening to him.
“Sebastian, listen to me –”
With only a breeze as his answer Sebastian skipped right past Ominis and up the grand staircase. Ominis could feel the heat of his face. “No time to talk. Got somewhere to be –”
“Sebastian, no!”
Why must it keep happening to him?
Tumblr media
Sebastian was pretty sure the house in Feldcroft has not heard Anne’s laughter in a long, long time. Yet, here you were, huddled together with his sister, whispering giggle-worthy stories about him no doubt by the way your gaze kept fluttering back to him, and lifting the dreadful ooze that has monopolized the small space since his sister’s illness.
“Nice girl,” He had nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized his uncle had been sitting on the spare bed hidden by a curtain.
“Y-Yeah,” Merlin’s beard you even got his unpleasant uncle’s favor in such a short time – a miracle worker, truly. “She’s … quite something.”
Talking to him has always been awkward.
Even before Anne had gotten sick, he found it difficult to converse with the man who looked too much but was simultaneously nothing like his gentle, kind father. And maybe it was also the childish insistence that if he had let the man into his heart, he would betray his parents – his father – that he just couldn’t let him in. It would feel too much like replacing him so he just opted in letting Solomon linger at the precipice of his life and the man was more than happy to do so.
After all, if Solomon was nothing like his father, Sebastian was everything that reminded Solomon of his dead brother. And those were holes none of them could fill for each other.
“You know, your mother was the same,” Sebastian’s eyebrows raised, never hearing Solomon talk about her till now. “When she was a 7th year I was just starting in Hogwarts and let me tell you, I had little hope for that brother of mine of ever getting her attention.”
His uncle continued to stare at you like he was seeing a ghost – the good kind – not the kind he sees when he looks at him. “She was brilliant, loved by even the firmest professors. And was always willing to hold out a helping hand, even to lost first years whose ass of a brother left to go fend for himself in the confusing moving stairs of Hogwarts.”
Even Sebastian let out a chuckle at that ridiculous image. Sometimes he forgets that even his old uncle had once been a child. The thought is uncomfortable, especially looking at the man he is now. “I always told him he was out of his mind for courting your mother but did my crazy brother listen? Absolutely not.”
Where was he going with this?
Sebastian returned his eyes back to you.
Brilliant, admirable, courageous you.
With your bright smile that feeds his ego by always shining brighter with him. The recklessness that never fails to infuriate and impress on his last nerves. The kindness you innately had in you that makes him want to wrap you up in the finest silk then lock you up in an impenetrable room so nobody else may ever touch it – so nobody else may have you.
That would be best, he thinks.
“It would seem even that insanity he had passed on to you.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened, forcing himself to take slow, deep breaths so all his blood doesn’t go to his face, unable to look at the older man. “It’s not like that,” he cleared his throat, now unable to look at you. “We’re … friends.”
“A good … companionship is built upon friendship,” Sebastian’s head whipped to this uncle as if to say ‘how would you know?’ but his uncle just grunted, shrugging before standing up to busy himself in the kitchen, calling you out to assist and telling Anne to take her medicine.
A good companionship. He knows it’s a bit too early but the thought of it wasn’t as horrifying as he thought it would be. The budding interest he had in his new friend was pushed and shoved into the deepest nook of his brain – he had more pressing things to tend to, one that was more important than discerning why he could recognize the sound of her laughter in the middle of dinner in the Great Hall.
But if he really thinks about it, takes a moment to breathe and considers it … it would be nice. She’s had research interest but with her grades and skill being a renowned curse-breaker or even an auror isn’t out of the question. If he works hard, he knows he’d be able to keep up and support her and Anne – maybe even set up an apartment in the city, they can just visit his sister when they have the chance.
Of course,he will try to encourage her to settle back down in Feldcroft if Anne still lives here but Irondale is quite beautiful too, a good place to practice flying when they have a family, let his children experience a true childhood surrounded by peace and quiet – two kids would be nice. Twins run in the family so maybe he could convince her for another one if their first pair are of the same gender. He would really like a daughter who looks just like --
 “I like her.”
“Bloody hell!” Sebastian jumped when he realized his twin sister was now right in front of him while he was deep in his embarrassing delusions. (When did the members of his family become so sneaky?) She grinned at him as if she knew exactly what had him so distracted. To avoid her piercing stare, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he guided her in the little nook of her bedroom where all the vials full of her medicines were stored.
“I knew you would. ‘s why I brought her here.”
“Oh?” Anne nonchalantly drank a disgusting-looking fluid in one gulp. “So, it wasn’t cause you wanted to monopolize her and get ahead of your competition back at Hogwarts?”
Sebastian gawked, his entire body heating up from the accusation. “What – no, it’s not – I thought she would cheer you up!”
He quickly took a quick peek at the corner, relieved that you were too busy charming his uncle off to hear such absurd allegations against him. He wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression of him at all. After all, for how wondrous those visions are, he puts your friendship on a pedestal above anything else.
He thinks he’ll be more than content to be just your friend. Maybe.
“How gracious of you, brother,” Anne smirked, in this light it was almost like the old Anne.
Sebastian smirked at her, masking indifference, “I try.”
He should’ve known. Anne would be the one who might just see through all of him, even the things he likes to keep from his head. Even his most impossible dreams of cozy cottages and soft days.
“Sebastian!” The twins straightened up at your voice, both felt like they had been caught red-handed as you cheerfully rounded the corner. “Oh, was I interrupting –”
“No, not at all!” Anne pushed Sebastian firmly, making him stumble and catch himself just as he was about to crash into you. The proximity forces him to stare as your eyes crinkled when you smiled. He stops breathing.
You’ll look dazzling in white; he thinks.
“Your uncle told me your neighbor had some mint in their garden, said you could help me find it? It would go well with the juice.”
Sebastian’s eyes fell to your lips as you spoke before physically ripping his eyes out to look at your eyes, nodding, as his brain tried to keep up between his imagination and the reality of your face in front of his.  You grinned, already walking towards the door. He lets out a breath, the faint traces of your perfume that he gave you wafting an enchanting trail that kept his gaze on your retreating back.
“Get on with it,” Anne pushed him again and this time he gave her his deadliest glare as he followed after you. “You can’t hide her in Feldcroft forever.”
“Zip it.”
Solomon stood next to Anne as they stared at the two sweethearts in their own worlds as they made an adventure out of the small trip. Anne couldn’t help but giggle when Sebastian tripped because he was too busy looking at you instead of the road.
“Are men always this stubborn and stupid?”
“No,” Solomon grumbled, heart aching fondly when in a blink he could almost see a different mirage of figures that were both familiar and strangers at the same time. “He’s just his father’s son.”
Tumblr media
“It’s over.”
Sebastian turned his head, straying his eyes away from the night sky framed by the room’s glass ceiling to look at you.  “It’s over.”
The two of you lay down on the floor of the room of requirement, sneaking away from the graduation party to spend the last moments of your life as a student in Hogwarts together. It wasn’t intentional, you had sneaked out for a proper goodbye to the sentient room and thanked it for everything it had provided for you but, like always, Sebastian had gotten ahold of your sneaking form before you could take two steps away from his side.
Sebastian can see that the inevitability of it all is making you emotional, a Hogwarts-shaped hole already forming in the crevices of your heart. The thought of no longer having this haven to escape the world's cruel realities makes him sigh.
“I’m terrified,” your whispered confession surprised him.
His gallant darling? Scared?
“What for?”
You smiled at him sheepishly. “It feels stupid but … I’m scared of things changing. I feel like that little girl again – 15 years old and alone in this great, big world I was thrust into.” Sebastian noticed a shudder crawl over your body. “And this time I won’t have a cheeky Slytherin lad to show me around.”
Sebastian frowned, unsure if he was more disappointed at you for thinking you would lose him that easily or at himself for not nailing that the two of you were tethered forevermore in that bright head of yours.
Instead, he took your shaking hands that you tried to hide and held on to it tight.
You smiled up at him. “Promise to stay in touch?”
He could almost scoff at such an understatement of a request. Do you know I’m never letting you go?
“You’re not getting away from me that easily,” he grinned, hoping to charm the rest of your remnant fears away. “I expect weekly letters while I’m away from training.”
You scrunched your nose, which he thinks is just adorable “What? So you can brag to your fellow trainees you have a lovesick lady waiting for you at home?”
He laughed at that, eyes crinkling and heart racing, “Maybe I should keep a photo of you plastered on my wall then, really commit to the part. A pretty face like you on my walls should make me the envy of my entire group.”
Her laugh came out nervous, her grip on his hands tightened. She’s still scared.
If only he had been sorted in Gryffindor maybe then he would’ve been daring enough to say something. To fall to his knees in this room and let his forehead kiss the ground and beg you to stay with him, run away with him, marry him. To let him spend the rest of his lowly life making sure you will never be lonely again.
But the fates were cruel and for all his pretense of confidence, the gods’ honest truth is he is a coward. A coward with no prospects.
If he wants your hand he needs to prepare, to follow the plan he had mapped out since the night he had realized he would very much like to spend the rest of his life with you or die trying. He might not be worth anything for now but he’ll make himself enough.  He just needs to hold on … just two more years – it’s all he asks.
Just two years for him to establish himself, to become someone, to earn the right to ask you. He knows it will be hard, you’ll be engrossed in your own research and won’t be able to see him as he trains to be an auror. And there was always a risk of you meeting someone else but he’s already made Poppy swear to report everything to him while she accompanies you in your travels, a contingency plan for any hurdle that may put a wrench in his plans.
If all of this fails then so be it, but he won’t lose you from a lack of planning or trying.
“Why are you looking at me like that?
He didn’t realize he was staring at you while his thoughts ran wild. The dark of your eyes reflected the ceilings you had charmed with the sky of the Forbidden Forest. The dim hue of the room made you look ethereal, like a forest fairy sent to lead him to a beautiful doom. He’d follow you anywhere.
Is it too soon to tell you I love you?
Is it too late?
“Have I ever told you that you’re the only one I need?” Sebastian suddenly whispered, vulnerable.
It’s the closest thing he’ll allow himself to say for now, placating the intensity of his need to be close to you by properly laying on his side and pressing a firm hand on your cheeks as you followed his lead, your own loosely dangling on his waist.
“Don’t you think Ominis will be quite offended by that?” you teased, your fingers tracing patterns on his spine.
He couldn’t help but match your grin, “He’ll live.”
“Sebastian,” your words quiet but he moved his hand at the back of your head to pull you in closer, muffling your following words on his chest. “Promise me nothing will change?”
Sebastian’s hold on you tensed, pressing the gentlest kiss at the top of your head to silence his protests.
No, he wants to scream. Everything has to change.
He’ll change everything for you.
“I promise,” he lies.
He’s no Gryffindor, after all.
Tumblr media
[ 5 years later ]
“I almost fucking killed you!”
You rolled your eyes, which was a bad idea considering the curse that malfunctioned in Gringott’s brought upon a gaggle of Inferis along with a mutated one that grew about ten feet tall. Before it could lunge straight at your head, Sebastian – Merlin’s beard, he was still as handsome as the day you had left Hogwarts – pulled you into him before casting a Protego followed by a Confringo, blasting the undead’s arm away.
Still his favorite after all these years.
“What? You become a bigshot Auror and forget my face?!”
With an Incendio, the rest of the Inferis were now weakened enough that Sebastian was able to finish them all in one go (bloody hell!). Giving you time to gather yourself and lash out a heavy burst of ancient magic to take care of the giant Inferi once and for all.
You wobbled from the effort but firm hands and a chest caught you. When you looked up you were greeted by a cantankerous Sebastian covered in dust and dirt.
“As if I could see your face in those ridiculous glasses you’re wearing. Is that a lizard’s eye?”
You pulled on the offending thing, turning and standing on your tiptoes to put it on him, then he could see that it helps with seeing the traps laid out around the vault. “Satisfied your inquiries, Mr. Auror?”
He pushed the glasses to the top of his head, still looking down at you with a suspicious glare. Damn him and damn the entire male race for their inability to stop growing their limbs. “I should have you arrested. Illegally breaking into Gringots? What were you thinking?”
“Please, any curse-breaker you sent this way would’ve been eaten by that curse, I barely got out with my life if not for my ancient magic.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows twitched in the familiar way when he wasn’t particularly fond of you – which usually only happens when you throw yourself in danger … like today. Old habits die hard.
“I –”
“Save it,” he raised a palm. You sucked your lips into a thin line comically – it has been half a decade since you last saw him after all, you’re not entirely quite sure If this Sebastian in front of you would hesitate in throwing his prodigal best friend into the cold stone walls of a ministry ordained prison. “You owe me.”
Before he could, you fired off a blast of ancient magic behind him, crushing the lone Inferi that was bidding its time under a rock. You smirked. “Are we even now?”
“Not even fucking close,” His face was blank, unamused. Sebastian’s patience has never been the longest but this is one of the few times his ire was aimed at you, the novelty of it would make you blush if you weren’t so guilty. “Where have you been?”
This time it was your smile that fell, eyes dropping with it in shame. Straight to it, huh.
“Sebastian … I left a lett –“
“A letter! You call that a letter?!” He guffawed, turning his back on you and started pacing just at the ledge that led to a very, very, long fall to the bottom of Gringotts. Your fingers twitched to reach out for him but you had a feeling he wasn’t particularly interested in getting mothered right now as he spiraled out the words you’re sure he had surely been holding the past years. “My dearest friend, one who fights trolls for practice and is the most wanted woman of all dark wizards in the country disappears without a trace even when I spent an entire year searching for her –”
He looked for you?
“—but oh no! All is well Sebastian, she left you a bloody note!”
You felt like a reprimanded toddler but maybe (just maybe) you deserved it. “It wasn’t my finest moment.”
Something in your words snapped the last of Sebastian’s nerve. The gall of you – to stand here like it was nothing. The days he had spent tracking you, dreading the moment he would be greeted by your corpse.
How dare you leave? How dare you leave him? Of all the people in this world you were the one who was supposed to stay on his side.
‘I’ll be back. I promise. I just need time’
He marched to where you were standing, cupping both of your shoulders so you can look at him. “I will be given an explanation.”
Instead, your eyes fell on his left hand. He followed your line of sight, the gold band around his finger making all your cruelest nightmares come true.
How did it come to this? You scoured your memories of your entire friendship – how had the two of you come from being unable to keep a single secret from each other to strangers that have too many unspoken grievances in between them?
Was this inevitable?
Finally, you gathered your strength. He did deserve the truth from you of all people. And you could truly never keep a secret from Sebastian even now – which is also why you left. The shame, the unjustified anger, the hurt in your chest when you looked at him – you couldn’t handle it.
“I … I heard from Leander.”
His frown deepened. What does Leander have anything to do with this?
“I was going to visit you on the last weekend of your training. Then Leander caught me in town and he said … he said that after you had finished your auror training you were planning to propose, that you were already looking for a ring.”
He is going to kill that orange blabbermouth fuc –
“I couldn’t – surely, you couldn’t be that daft. I … I loved you, Sebastian! And I know I’m your friend and I should’ve been there for you. And I really am – I am happy for you,” you took his hand, your gentle touch shakily running through the gold band around his ring finger as you tried to hold back the tears. It felt like it was mocking you, like it could burn a mark on your skin. “If anyone deserves to build a family it would be you. I just … in that moment I couldn’t be happy for you. I needed to remove myself from the situation and I couldn’t say goodbye – you wouldn’t have let me! I panicked and I was hurt and … I really am sorry. I’m so sorry, Sebastian.”
As humiliating as it was to say all the hurt that you were carrying with you as you traveled the world to escape your love for him it did make you feel lighter. Were you a coward? Maybe so. But you will not shame your past self for what she did out of hurt and fear. It was painful but necessary.
It wasn’t until Sebastian was cupping your face and wiping your cheeks with his thumb that you realized you had been crying.
“Darling, who did you think the ring was for?”
You blinked, “What?”
You could tell he was trying to lengthen his patience with you, clearly as he was the more emotionally stable one at the moment even though it looked like he was at the precipice of choking you. "Have I ever told you that I was courting anyone?”
The conversation was taking a turn you weren't expecting. “N-No, but Leander and Everett used to keep teasing you about the Ministry girls that was always at your tail so I just assumed …”
He raised his eyebrows, holding onto your cheeks tighter so you had to look at him. For the first time in your entire friendship, you couldn’t read him at all. “I assumed you became interested in one of them.”
He sighed, “No, sweetheart. I did not become interested in any of them.”
You frowned, still feeling the cold ring on your cheek. “Then who did you marry?”
“I’m … not married.” This time it was him who seemed to blush, actually breaking eye contact to chuckle. When he looked back at you it was like you were getting a peek of the boyish Sebastian you once knew. “I would have been if the beautiful witch I had been chasing did not disappear on me right when I was about to propose.”
His words sunk into you like molasses, the wrinkle in between your eyebrows disappearing as your eyes widened in realization. Surely, he doesn’t mean –
“I just wore it since I would’ve been wearing it either way if someone had said yes. And it’s a more effective way to ward off any hopefuls. A little white lie to cover up my bruised heart and spare their egos”
“Wait, wait –“you tried to push him away but one of his arms just wrapped around your back, pushing your chest to his. He wasn’t going to let you get away this time, if he has to cast a binding spell on you without your knowledge then so be it.
The past five years had been torture enough.
“I guess it’s what I deserved. Letting the love of my life wait around just because my pride wanted me to earn the right to ask for her hand. The Hero of Hogwarts, the brightest witch of our age – surely, I couldn’t just ask her, could I?”
The abundance of information threatened to drown your head in. Pieces of the grand puzzle that never seemed to fit right clicking and clacking in your head as you slowly pieced together the blanks in the history of your relationship because you didn’t bother to ask and he didn’t bother to say anything.
He means you right? He was going to propose to you? The bloody ring you’ve been having nightmares about was for you?!
But he had never … I mean sure you flirted here and there but it was nothing … official. No words were ever shared, no announcements, nor formality.
It was all very … murky and ambiguous.
“Hey, back to me, darling,” he gently pressed his thumb that was still holding on to your cheek. “I swear even when we’re together it’s like you’re still running away.” As if suddenly lost in thought himself he murmured, “Should I charm a chain on you, after all?”
You blinked and the dark glint in his eyes that you had only seen in his darkest moments in your fifth year disappeared, now replaced with a small cheeky smile.
“Sebastian, the ring was it – surely it wasn’t –”
“For you?” He was so close now that you could count all the freckles in his face, his lips running through your cheeks, even pressing a kiss on your temple. “Then riddle me this, my love – if not for you then who else would it be for? Hmm? Who else would I be begging to be my wife if not my most treasured friend? The one person who stood beside me through it all?”
Another kiss on your cheeks. “The only light in my life?”
The underside of your jaw. “The beautiful witch who had rudely stolen my heart when we were children then had the nerve to run away with it just as I was able to gather all the courage I had to ask for hers in return?”
He moved both of his hands to wrap around your waist, pulling and pulling and pulling as if he wanted to meld the two of you together. “Who else but you? There was and would’ve been nobody else but you.”
A shadow of a kiss at the edge of your lips. “You’re the only woman I have ever loved.”
Your heart threatens to explode.
“And you’re the only one I will ever love,” he whispered, but the quiet of the caves of Gringotts made his voice echo inside your overheating skull.
You had been aware of Sebastian’s charms when you were younger but now that he was using his pretty face and raspy voice at its full extent while professing his love for you in the murky caves of Gringotts and pieces of Inferi corpses scattered on the ground – you could almost feel your brain malfunctioning.
“I had resigned myself to a life of isolation if you had never come back,” he declared. “But you did. Why?”
He was not going to accept anything less than the truth. The intensity behind his eyes, the grip he has around you was so firm you were almost hanging off the ground. The unbearable weight of your guilt for almost driving this man to insanity even if it had not been your intention had you letting go of your defenses.
“Because I missed you,” you admitted, eyes looking straight at him to finally bare your soul. “And I couldn’t find anything the world could offer that could compare to you. Even if we just remained friends I –”
His chuckle cut you off.
“We could never just be friends,” he whispered, you couldn’t agree more. “We were never just friends. Darling, I’m not a religious man but if soulmates are real then yours and mine have always been tied to each other. And if whatever god is up there was cruel enough not to have done that then I would’ve knotted it myself.”
You giggle through your tears – you had played out so many fantasies of Sebastian’s confessions and yet now that you were living your wildest dreams it felt like your heart was trying to escape your chest.
“If you hadn’t come back, it would’ve done nothing short of killing me, you have to know that,” a ragged breath escapes him as if the mere memory of your escape were enough to cause him physical pain. “Because I love you and I have always loved you even back when I didn’t know what love is. Even when love was a mere flutter in my chest every time I looked at you. Even when I was a fool in a path to destruction I … I have always, always loved you.”
You nodded, almost gasping at the intensity of his words. “I love you too, Sebastian. So much. I would’ve always come back. I couldn’t – I would’ve honestly poisoned your wife if you had married another.”
A laugh exploded out of his mouth at your sudden proclamation, echoing through the eerie corners of the caves. “And I had more than enough daydreams of torturing any lovers you might’ve taken in your travels.” The sickly-sweet tone that contrasted such horrid words had you giggling.
“Think we should stick to each other then?” You roped an arm around his neck, letting him carry your dead weight. “Spare some poor suckers from poisons and murders.”
He grinned, leaning in closer and closer, “You always had been the one with bright ideas.”
You smiled just as he finally pressed his lips into yours. Even your wildest dream couldn’t compare to this. Sebastian’s greedy grip on your waist, his familiar scent, his taste – him. It wasn’t perfect – a bit too rough, too needy yet somehow never enough – it was better, a perfect amalgamation of your entire relationship.
“Marry me,” he commanded in between kisses, too desperate to separate from you for more than a second. “Tell me you’ll have me.”
“You’re mine,” You gasp when he suddenly turned you around and pressed you on the jagged wall of the cave. “Always been mine.”
You’ve never not been mine.
Suddenly, Sebastian ended your kisses, a whine slipping out of your throat which he placated with a quick peck before he haphazardly pulled a necklace of some kind around his neck, snapping it to let the pendant fall into his palms.
Only it wasn’t a pendant. It was a ring. The ring.
“Oh my, Sebastian,” your vision blurs with tears as he gently takes your shaking hand, slipping the beautiful jewelry on your ring finger where it shall sit forever. “It’s beautiful. I can’t wait to marry you.”
He groaned, pressing his forehead to your temple as you continued to admire the ring on your finger.
“You keep buttering me up like this and I’ll have to kidnap the first priest I see when we get out of here.”
“I wouldn’t object to that, we’ve never been one for propriety.”
Tumblr media
“I can’t believe we had our first kiss in Gringott’s of all places,” he muttered, the vibration of his voice tickling your chest as he buries his face in it.
“That wasn’t my first kiss.”
That had his head snapping, eyes murderous at your words. "What?”
“It wasn’t yours either.”
“Huh.”
You nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact as he tries to scour through his memories.
“Remember our fight in the Room of Requirement? About the Triwizards game?”
He winced. “I’d rather not remember that.”
You shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
You settled back, knowing him well enough to know his mind was rapidly working through his memories to figure out the cryptic declaration you had confessed.
It had been frustrating when you had remembered such important event days after it happened. All it had taken was a faint whiff of Sebastian’s shampoo in your pillow in the room of requirement before you were shooting up in your bed at the memories trickling in your brain as you tried to figure out if it had been one of your more apparent daydreams only to scream when you had realized it had happened and the two of you completely forgot about it.
You had become wary of Sebastian then, staring and studying his face at any hint that he also had the luck of remembering such bold confessions from you. You aren’t sure if you were more relieved or disappointed when he showed no inkling of gaining the curse of such knowledge like you.
But at your sudden engagement to him, you believe you have suffered enough of such vexations alone. You are to be married after all which means the two of you shall share every burden from now on -- even the most embarrassing and frustrating ones.
Sebastian’s muscles locked, pushing himself up to cage you in bed as his frantic eyes widened.
You grin. He remembers.
“No fucking way.”
“Yes way.”
He slumps back down in your chest, groaning. “Are you sure you're okay with marrying a bloody idiot?”
Your body shakes with laughter. “Lucky for you, idiots are just my type.”
878 notes · View notes
deancasforcutie · 1 month ago
Note
#updating my ancient meta #if you ever see an old meta from me with a stupid wishy washy caveat in it i can promise you #it was only there as a decoy to reduce the number of dickheads in my inbox #i no longer care how many dickheads want to crawl into my inbox though #they just get deleted #because it's far funnier to me to watch them piss into the wind (via @thevioletcaptain)
#love that you went back and spoke your truth op #dean's siren being a man is absolutely textual evidence of dean's queerness #and the only reason i can believe anyone wouldn't interpret it that way in 2014 was that…it was 2014 #in my (very limited) observation fandom queer analysis is usually a bit behind literary queer theory #and admittedly i think we focus too much on Textual Evidence as being synonymous with Gay Kissing etc #to dig deep enough to find the actual textual queerness #which is why they're still so many viewers who say stuff like #''can't believe they wrote all this gay stuff on accident? and then they have the nerve to tell me all this gay stuff isn't there'' #newsflash (not that it matters but) it wasn't on accident #or if it was it sure was consistently and accidentally very queer #dozens of writers and actors and etc etc all got together and they all accidentally slipped and all accidentally made it gay #🤷‍♀️ it's all there. dean doesn't need to kiss a man for it all to be Right There (via @deangirlism101)
#the writers were 100% writing textually queer Dean #that's called queer coding babes #ppl back in the day would call it 'baiting' cuz many didn't believe the writers were being genuine #people who still call it 'baiting' are just intentionally dense about what the show was trying to do (via @rogue-translator)
I'm really confused about something and was hoping you would explain it to me. I see people loving that Dean's siren was a man and people say that's proof Dean wants to be with a man. Now I am Team Bisexual!Dean all day but the siren himself said that what Dean wanted "wasn't some bitch in a g-string, it was you. A little brother who looks up to him. Someone he can trust." These are the actual words he uses. I don't understand why people say that means Dean wants a man. Pray explain?
Ahh, nonny! Thanks for asking :)
When it comes to evidence of Dean’s bisexuality, his siren being a man is not—in my opinion—the most convincing of arguments. This is mainly because the true nature of sirens in the Supernatural universe a little muddy.If they do shift between wanting different kinds of love, as the dialogue implies, then it doesn’t serve to prove anything about Dean’s sexuality. If, on the other hand, they are only interested in eros, as the action implies, then it’s another story altogether.
Regardless of which is accurate, I do still think it counts for something when added to the overwhelming number of hints throughout the seasons, but used as a sole piece of evidence I don’t think it’s enough.
That said, there are three main reasons that I can see why someone would consider the siren’s male form as “proof” that Dean is interested in men.
Narrative structure In the context of season four, Dean and Nick were a clear mirror for Sam and Ruby. The episode in question (Sex and Violence, 4.14) comes at a point in the overall narrative where Sam is being manipulated by Ruby.Throughout season four, Sam ingests Ruby’s blood, and the connection he forms with her through this act results in a sexual relationship which she uses to manipulate him further. In Sex and Violence, Dean ingests Nick’s venom, and the connection he forms with him through this act results in a relationship which Nick uses to manipulate him further. The only thing that appears different on the surface level is that Sam and Ruby’s relationship was explicitly sexual/romantic, while Dean and Nick’s was implicitly sexual/romantic.
In-show mythology / Dean’s horrible upbringingAccording to the mythology we learn at the beginning of the episode, sirens are beings who crave love—specifically, eros.We are told that the siren learned what it’s victims desired most in a lover, and then embodied those traits in order to manipulate and control them, using it’s venom as the catalyst.The information Sam and Dean got from Bobby about Sirens resulted in this conversation:
DEANSo whatever floats the guy’s boat, that’s what they look like?SAMYeah. You see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and then they can kinda, like, cloak themselves. You know, like an illusion.
We learn that the siren seduced it’s first three victims by appearing to them in the form of their perfect romantic partner, and after they had fallen in love with the illusion, it convinced them to murder their wives. The fourth victim was different only in that he was unmarried and instead murdered his mother.In each case, the siren appealed to it’s victims by appearing in the form of someone who they not only lusted after, but fell in love with. This was it’s MO. It wanted, as it said later in the episode, to “fall in love again and again and again.” So, going by all the information up until the last few moments of the episode, the kind of love it craved was eros—not philia, not storge, not agape, but eros. Romantic love.All the in-show mythology researched by Bobby and the brothers, and what we saw in the Siren’s seduction of it’s other victims tells us this. The only time it switches to a familial, platonic form of love is in dialogue with Dean. Despite this, the siren’s actions, as actor Jim Parrack mentioned in this interview about playing the character, still created “some kind of sexual tension” with Dean. Why did the siren’s dialogue differ from it’s actions? Because Dean is damaged. Horribly so. From a young age Dean was taught that the only attachments he should have are to those he can trust, and the only people he can trust are his family. Their life on the road forced this to an extreme, and for at least the first 24 years of his life Dean only knew familial love.The only time he allowed himself to entertain the notion of another kind of love ended horribly—at around age 24 when he told Cassie Robinson about the true nature of the things that go bump in the night. This only reinforced the idea that he could not trust anyone who wasn’t family. So, at this point in the show, the only person Dean had ever trusted and who had also respected him was his brother. The siren told Dean he would replace his brother because it knew that it was the only way to gain Dean’s trust, and without trust and mutual respect you cannot have love.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dean’s interaction with NickThe final reason is all to do with body language. Their interaction at the strip club is more than a little flirtatious.Complete with the heart eyes—more commonly seen when Dean is staring at Cas or Lisa or Dr. Sexy—that are very much aimed at the dude-shaped siren.Then there’s the fact that this scene happened before Dean came into contact with the siren’s venom. Those were legit heart eyes. That was legit flirting. The siren saw Dean. The siren knew that what Dean desired was a clean-cut, blue-eyed man in a position of power with an interest in cars, who would show him respect and share a few drinks with him, and it became that guy so that Dean would let it get it’s gross venomy saliva all up in his mouth. No but seriously, if Dean hadn’t conveniently offered the siren his flask (which was pretty damn intimate considering he barely knew the guy) I can’t help but wonder what else the siren had been planning to do to get him good and poisoned. Call me crazy but I’m guessing it involved a touch of the ol’ tonsil hockey.
[screencaps taken from homeofthenutty]
1K notes · View notes
moongothic · 1 year ago
Text
Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.
At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little
You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)
Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right
Tumblr media
So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?
Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)
Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)
Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass
Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)
My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?
Tumblr media
Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO
So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.
Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.
Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))
But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...
Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.
But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.
But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)
Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.
The only question is, how would Robin take that?
Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good
So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.
Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.
And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.
What's she going to do?
EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Nico Robin#THIS POST WAS AN ACCIDENT. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. WHY DID I WRITE THIS. WHAT DEMON POSSESSED ME#I'm sure someone's written this already right#Right#Surely this fanfic already exists#Please tell me it exists#I dunno what to tell you I am not immune to a Juicy AU#Anyway on a more wholesome side of things: Robin accidentally calling Crocodile ''dad'' and he just inhales and swallows his whole cigar#Nearly chockes to death. Gets burns on his throat.#Robin feeling less alienated because of her DF ability because Croc has seen weirder AND is made of sand himself#If anything if they're literally by themselves then Robin being able to literally lend a hand to Croc at any time could be extremely useful#Like. In regular life situations. 'Cause Croc only has one hand. And Robin as many as she wants. Perfect duo.#(Also if they were travelling on like a small ship then it'd probably be built for a Tall Motherfucker like Croc right)#(Robin's ability would just make the ship more accessible to her and Croc would find that independence good)#Robin still gets a codename because Croc can't have anyone realize who she is. Maybe she even wears like a mask or summin' in public#If Crocodile's openly trans and the news of him transitioning recently broke out. Like. No avoiding that convo eh#Baby Robin's like ''...I read in a book once that some reptiles can change sex but I didn't know crocodiles could do it too''#''💦.../Humans/ can't do that normally either''#''Hmmmm. Weird. I don't think being a girl would suit you though'' // ''...I'll take that as a compliment''#I just. I think they could have really cute interactions if they warmed up to each other after a little while#And I'm Extremely Normal about that
2K notes · View notes
huskersbooze · 10 months ago
Text
Part 2 of Who's in Control?
Cordial
Alastor x Reader
| Part 1 | Part 2(here!) | Part 3 |
Summary : You and Alastor are still struggling to get back on good terms, both coping, but you still can't forget what he had done. Meanwhile, things with your soul's contract is going downhill..
Pairings : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here) , Huskerdust(?)
Warnings : Valentino(he doesn't actually do anything he just sucks)
Additional Tags : Still kinda angst(sorry), cussing
Ib : Cordial by Set it Off
Word count : 1.2k
A/N : By popular request, I think I have an overall plot for this originally-to-be-oneshot? There will be more parts to come in the future <3 thank you all for being patient with me
Tumblr media
"Hey.. ya’ wanna open the door for a sec?”
You roll off your bed and lazily walk over to open the door. Without looking, you unlock the door and let him in, turning to curl back up in bed.
“How ya’ holding up..?” Angel asks, seeing you in such a state making his heart ache. “We’re all really worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Angel.” You wrap yourself in your blankets and sit on the bed, Angel following.
“You haven’t come down in days. Charlie asked me to check on you.” He says.
“Does she know..?”
“About you and creepy face? Sorta.”
You raise an eyebrow.
“They all know something’s going on between ya’ two. They just don't know what.”
“Great.. let's keep it that way.” You try to force a smile but to no avail.
It was quiet for a moment. Awkward at first, yes, but you both started to enjoy the company.
“We're really worried about you.. ya'know? I'm worried.”
“Thanks.” You hum. “I appreciate it.”
“You gunna’ come get breakfast..? It'll be quick, I promise.”
“Is Al down there?”
“No.” He simply replied. “We don't really know what he's up to lately.”
“What d’you mean?”
“He's also been isolatin’ himself. We don't actually see him much around the Hotel.”
You stay quiet.
“What are we waiting for? Don't want the food to get cold, do we?”
Angel perks up.
“I thought ya'd never ask.”
-----
You follow Angel down to the lobby, where everyone gathered and ate their breakfast.
The others were surprised to see you, to say the least, but they decided not to interrupt.
It was nice that Angel was able to have you out of your room, they wouldn't want anything to make you go back.
“Hey, kid.” Husk whispers, handing you a plate of pancakes. “Your favourite.”
“Thanks, Husk.” You reply, giving him a genuine smile.
“Ya’ doing alright?”
You shrug. “Could be better.”
“Just glad you’re here, kid.”
“Glad to see you too.” You laugh, walking alongside Angel and Husk towards the table where everyone was having breakfast. “Good morning, guys.”
Everyone stays quiet — everyone consisting of Charlie, Vaggie and Sir Pentious only. Niffty was off dusting the halls.
“I’m fine, Charlie. Thanks for sending Angel to check on me.” You catch a glimpse of Charlie’s worried eyes glued to you, reassuring her it was okay.
“We’re glad to have you back.” She says.
Husk takes his normal seat, Angel on the right of him, leaving one open spot on the left.. not that he ate breakfast much, he usually showed up just to keep you company.. Alastor…
“How’s the breakfast, my dear?”
“It’s amazing! I don’t know why you never bother to try it.”
“I work better on an empty stomach. Plus, I’m more fond of deer.”
“Deer? You actually eat deer?” You asked, bewildered. “Like the whole thing?”
“Well, not the bones, of course not. But yes, I enjoy eating deer.”
“Aren’t you like.. a deer yourself?”
Alastor shoots you a look, and laughs whole-heartedly.
“You certainly don’t see Angel Dust befriending spiders in the hotel, do you?” He lets out another chuckle. “You are such a charmer. Besides, venison tastes exquisite.”
“I’ll try it sometime.” You shrug, taking another bite of your pancakes. “When do you eat this.. deer meal of yours?”
“Oh, all the time. In fact, I’ll be on my way to have it for breakfast later.”
“What’s stopping you from going now?” You tilt your head, licking off the syrup on your fork. Alastor stares at the sight and smiles, genuinely.
“You are, darling. I certainly can't leave a guest unattended.”
“What? Is that why you’re always here for breakfast but won’t actually eat anything? To accompany me?”
“By all means, if I’m intruding, do let me know and I’ll leave.”
“What? No!” You immediately finish your last bite of pancake. “I just think it’s time I accompany you for breakfast, don’t you think?”
His ears twitch.
“Come along then, darling.”
“Hey, kid, you alright?” You feel Husk give you a soft nudge on the elbow.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you blink and come back to your senses, seeing everyone staring at you with worry laced on their faces.
“You can go back if you want to.” Charlie says. “No pressure being here, really.”
“Oh, no, it’s okay. I’m okay.” You say, immediately taking a big gulp of your pancakes. “I was just lost in thought.”
“Look out for yourself, aight, kid?”
“Yes, dad.” You joke. 
Suddenly, you feel a presence behind you, and you can already tell who it is.
You stiffen.
Everyone stiffens.
You feel him stiffen from behind you.
After a second or two, you feel the presence start to leave. Acknowledging the fact there were no open seats and he rarely came for breakfast, you let out a sigh and hoped you won’t regret this later on.
“Morning, Alastor.” It comes out barely a whisper, your eyes glued to your now empty plate. “I was just leaving, you can have my spot.”
“Thank you, darling.” He simply says, placing his plate down as you took yours and left towards the kitchen. You could hear his voice was audibly more tired and broken, but you couldn’t bear looking him in the eyes.
You finish washing your plate in the kitchen, and as you turn, you see Alastor, standing right in your face, nearly bumping into him.
“Jeez! You scared the shit out of me, Al.” You put a hand over your chest.
“Ah, sorry, darling.” He says, ears perking at the mention of the sweet nickname he secretly loved hearing. “It wasn't my intention to startle you.”
“It's fine.” You shrug it off, catching a glimpse of his gaze and immediately melting right into it. Fuck, you had to leave. Now.
“Dear, wait.” He calls after you, but you ignore him.
“Please. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“And? Are you asking for forgiveness or what?” You sigh.
“I just hoped to apologise. I'm deeply sorry.”
“Okay.” You turn to leave. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Darling, can we start over?”
“We can't get back to normal even if we both play pretend.” You don't bother turning to face him, your voice starting to shake. “None of this shit between us is cordial, Alastor.”
“But we're friends, dear-”
“Are we? Friends don't lie to each other and make one another sell their soul to them. Have a nice breakfast.”
Alastor shuts up, watching as your back turns the corner and like that, you're gone.
-----
“Alastor, how nice of you to join.”
“Valentino. Surprised you aren't taking care of the useless screen.” Alastor acknowledges.
“Vox didn't want to be here, so I thought I'd fill in.”
Alastor takes a seat next to Rosie as the overlord meeting continues on.
“Before we leave, Alastor, may we have an update on the girl?”
His eye twitches, gaze turning to face one of the overlords.
“I simply don't know what you're talking about.”
“Alastor.” They warn. “She's not just any soul.”
“Everything is fully under control, don't fret.”
“Just a reminder, Alastor~ If you fail, she's mine to take.”
“No need to remind me.” He smiles at Valentino, a bit too friendly.
Rosie sends Alastor a look.
Oh whatever is he going to do about this deal.
———/ TBC. /———
READ PART 3 HERE
Taglist : @musicalsundrop @for-hearthand-home @saeran-g @smoky000 @otherthoughtsofbu @letmebeagreekstatueyoumotherfuck @hudiexiaoying @prettyboychoso @thonethatflies620 @alastorssimp @impatiencepersistonthinstring @speaker15 @zq13 @starr11111 @fokrilove @aloraaaxcrystalzx @simps-for-to-many-people @siriuslyobsessedwithfiction @ohdarlingohdeer @sophiasrant @soyobi-wankenobi @karolinda007-blog @alastorsgirl48 @memymay @perrynina @john-kramer-0807 @preciousbabypeter @sugxryratz @polytheatrix @maksdust @96jnie @spirit-of-the-hollow @chirimeimei @itsukiestia @sky2lar (Tumblr hates me. I can't tag empty blogs (or is that a rule idk about?))
If you want to be on this fics taglist leave a comment! Please specify you want to be tagged or else I won't tag blogs that ask for another part cuz it doesn't seem polite- Thanks in advance <3
571 notes · View notes
stsgluver · 11 months ago
Note
Can I get a uhhh...hurt/comfort Choso drabble where he snaps at the reader? Maybe because he's worried about Yuuji or something?
𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐆𝐎 — kamo choso
Tumblr media
synopsis. choso's parent's relationship is struggling and he doesn't know how to handle it.
wc. 1.4k
tags. very slight angst, happy ending, yuuji is choso's 10yo half brother, choso and yn are 18-19, both went to the same school, yn is yuuji's tutor, possible ooc choso I've never written for him before
a/n. MY FIRST CHOSO WRITING!! you never specified an au so I did a post-highschool!au-ish. I hope that's okay <33 thank you for requesting!!
2k event
Tumblr media
“can’t you tell i’m busy?” choso uttered through gritted teeth, not even bothering to glance up at you from his sketchbook he was hunched over on his desk. you’d been trying to tell him about the sweet old couple you always saw at the cafe and hadn’t seen for weeks until today. the two of you had become invested in their wellbeing and you’d thought that had been something he would’ve wanted to hear about.
“oh, sorry.” you frowned at how unintentionally pathetic your voice sounded. despite his cold demeanour, choso was probably the, if not the, sweetest person you’d ever met. he was always doting on his younger brother and showing up at your day job unannounced to bring you something whenever you tell him you’re having a bad day.
for all intents and purposes, he was the blueprint, so for him to lash out at you for no explicit reason was the total polar opposite to his usual personality.
“sorry?” choso mocked, leaning his head back to push his hands through his hair which was still damp from showering. still, he seemed more preoccupied with the ceiling than his concerned girlfriend who sat cross-legged on his bed, “geto’s going to be pissed that i’m behind on these designs and you constantly talking in my ear is not helping.”
after graduating, choso had initially taken on an admin role at a small tattoo parlour in town. a couple of months into the role, the owner, geto, had offered him a proper apprenticeship. you’d met geto on a handful of occasions and, from how choso had previously described him, he didn’t seem like the type to be annoyed over a few incomplete designs. especially not considering the additional hours and effort choso always puts into that place.
“you invited me over choso,” you pointed out. it was a sunday and, while you usually have work in the evenings, you’d been given the day off due to staff sickness. your boyfriend’s first message had been to excitedly offer for you to come over and stay the night at his which of course you said yes to.
somewhere between sending you that message and you making the fifteen minute drive to his house, he had a drastic change of heart.
choso sighed, picking up a different pencil to continue his sketch. “well, now i’m uninviting you.”
the bluntness in his tone had you blinking back tears. it was the first time he’d ever been so intentionally dismissive towards you. you didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response or an argument, if that was what he was after, and picked up your coat and left his room. 
you hadn’t needed to bring over any clothes or essentials since you’d come over so often his room had designated areas for your spare bits. as upset as he had made you, you weren’t about to scare him with a breakup threat because he was having a bad day and lashing out at you. 
“yn!” yuuji’s bright voice spooked you from your thoughts as you made your way down the stairs and you had to quickly wipe away any tears so as to not worry your boyfriend’s ten year old brother. choso’s golden personality was hidden by dark hair and an introverted front whereas yuuji’s was clear from his pink hair to his loud voice. “are you leaving already? you haven’t even tried my pancakes yet!”
one of yuuji’s incentives to attend the lessons that he didn’t like (ie. anything that wasn’t sport) was for him and choso to make homemade pancakes together. it was a weekly thing that you usually missed because of work and yuuji had been jumping up and down when he had found out you’d be there this evening.
your heart broke a little more at the fact you’d now be upsetting him.
“sorry yuuji,” his little face dropped slightly, bounce in his step gone as he clasped his hands together. you gently rubbed his shoulder, “i’ll be here for friday?”
yuuji scrunched up his nose. “that’s so long away!” it was also the day he’d be sat at the kitchen island with you for several hours doing catch up on his classes.
yuuji was the reason why you and choso had reconnected after graduating school – because when you agreed to tutor a student how could you have known that itadori yuuji was kamo choso’s little brother? you’d never been close in school so you hadn’t even known he had any relatives.
“i’ll bring you a treat,” you promised, making your way out of the house after saying a quick goodbye to his parents. 
the pouring down rain coupled with the ever flowing tears that stained your cheeks meant you had to stop your car several times on the way home just to ensure you wouldn’t crash. each and every time you checked your phone to see if he’d sent you a message, apologising and asking you to come back (which you would have in a heartbeat). there never was.
you didn’t see choso for the rest of the week – not until friday, your usual tutoring session with yuuji. 
he had messaged you a couple times, asking about your day and sending you several pictures of tattoos he had done himself which you always responded to quickly. but the conversations were short and filled with unanswered questions.
most days that you didn’t sleep around his, the two of you would call until one of you fell asleep. for the last five nights both of you had made excuses for why you couldn’t call. 
your relationship was still fairly new and this was the first spat that you had had. neither of you really knew how to cope with the aftermath or even the initial falling out. you missed your boyfriend, though, and you couldn’t avoid this forever.
“is yuuji here?”
you’d knocked twice before the door had been opened by choso. he looked just as tired as you felt (you’d done your best to cover it up with a bit of concealer and highlighter), and his shoulder length hair was messily framing his face. the hoodie he wore was a matching one that you had still hung up in your wardrobe at home.
“no,” choso shook his head, “he’ll be back from fushiguro’s kids in about fifteen.”
yuuji had spoken about megumi a lot to you – his best friend in the whole world, he’d described him as. he told you he’d bring him around one day to meet you.
“okay,” you said slowly and there was an awkward silence that settled between the two of you. on a friday night whilst you were with yuuji, their parents went out for their weekly date night, so right now it was just choso in his house and you at the doorstep. you take a step back, “i can just wait in my car till–”
“i think my parents are splitting up,” choso said quickly – almost too quickly for you to understand – and his eyes dropped down to the ground below, avoiding your worried gaze. “friday date nights are now for marriage counselling,” he continued when you didn’t say anything, still in shock from the confession, “jin… he’s a good guy, but my mum is stressed with work and–”
“and she’s taking it out on the people closest to her.”
choso picked his head up and there was an unspoken understanding that that was what had happened on sunday. he looked guilty as he nodded.
choso and yuuji were half brothers – choso’s dad had up and left when he was only a couple of years old and his mum had had to single-handedly rebuild their life. he didn’t want yuuji to have to experience any of the hardships he did in his broken family.
“i’m sorry for hurting you. i don’t want to lose you too,” your boyfriend apologised and you made the first step on closing the gap to wrap your arms around his waist. he smelt like home, you realised, nestling your face into his hoodie, and you didn’t want to go five whole days without him again.
you lifted your head up to press one kiss to the corner of his lips, “we’ll get through this together, no matter what happens.”
497 notes · View notes
rinkkuma · 11 months ago
Text
୨୧ VALENTINE'S DAY WITH BLUE LOCK BOYS
ft. isagi yoichi, reo mikage, rin itoshi, nagi seishiro, & chigiri hyoma
tags. highschool au, established relationships, gn!reader, a bit of cussing, all fluff ! / author's note. just some cheesy highschool romance! sorry they're a little short, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless ^_^
Tumblr media
ISAGI plans a date after school, and he cannot stop thinking about it throughout the whole school day. from when school starts to the final release bell. jumping for joy when it finally rings. he immediately sprints to your class to come pick you up, and the two of you begin walking to your destination. he takes you on a date to a nearby café that had a valentine's event going on. the café is decked out in an obscene amount of pink and red decorations that would've made your head hurt if there were more. of course, he lets you order whatever you like and pays for it. (he also feeds you whatever you ordered with a big grin on his face) afterwards, he surprises you with a flower bouquet and whatever you've been ranting about wanting for the past few months. an absolute sweetheart!
REO puts his gift into a large box. why? it's too large to the point where you can't fit it into your locker, so it forces you to carry it around all day so that everyone will know you're his. writes “from: reo” in big letters on all sides of the box so people can see from every angle. yeah, reo has been planning this for the past few months. honestly, the box is so big to the point that it's a little embarrassing to bring it into your classes, and some of your teachers question you. he makes it up to you because of how amazing his gift was. a bouquet with your favorite flowers, a stuffed animal, a gorgeous and one-of-a kind necklace, and a photo book with memories from the very beginning of your relationship. spoils you with lots of kisses all over your face as well.
RIN shyly buys one of those valentine's day candy grams that a club is selling. and no, it is absolutely not because he's scared to give it to you directly. just kidding, he is. this was the first time he was actually giving something to someone for valentine's day and he did not want to mess it up, so to be safe he decided to buy one and have the club deliver it. after you receive it though, he immediately runs to your class, asking if you liked it. he mumbles an apology for not giving it to you face to face, but you pull him into a kiss to reassure him that it was more than okay.
NAGI conveniently has first period with you, so he takes this to his full advantage. arrives to school earlier than you and puts his plan into action. bangs politely knocks on the classroom door before the teacher hesitantly lets him in 2 minutes later, and puts a shit ton of things on your desk. places a stuffed animal on your seat, a basket with your favorite snacks (with the addition of a few valentine's themed candies), and a heartfelt (and surprisingly neat) letter. nagi patiently waits for you to walk in. staring at the door and being disappointed when someone walks in and it's not you. when you finally arrive though, he is holding back a smile and looks away nonchalantly, acting like you had not walked into class. you make your way to your desk, already seeing the various gifts on your desk before placing your gift for nagi on his desk. he finally lets the breath out that he didn't know he was holding, and gives you a bear hug. (you almost sit on the plushie on your seat because of how small it was)
CHIGIRI dramatically sighs when you greet him in the morning with a smile on your face and a gift bag in your hand. why did he sigh dramatically, you ask? in your mind, you thought it was obvious that you two would be each other's valentine since you are dating, so you never formally asked him. yes, chigiri could've easily taken things into his own hands and asked you, but he chickened out every time he was going to ask you. yes, he could've just texted you, but he believed that was the wimpy way out. you give him a puzzled look as you hand him your gift, asking him what was up. he looks down as he mumbles, “youdidn'taskmetobeyourvalentine..” as he rubs the back of his neck. you laugh before you give him a smile and say, “chigiri, we've been together for a while. i thought it was a given that we were each other's valentine.”
Tumblr media
inspired by this prompt list <3
913 notes · View notes
taurasiluvr · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
how you can help palestine
★ thinking about getting a kitten with caitlin!!!!
 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; literally nothing but cuteness! cait's adjustment to the wnba mention but nothing too crazy.
Tumblr media
caitlin's eyes widened in shock as you handed her the phone, your expression delighted as you swallowed a squeal. "a... cat?"
you and caitlin had just moved in together in Indiana and it was something new to both of you. adapting to sharing a space and merging your lives had been a thrilling yet challenging experience. but amidst unpacking boxes and adjusting to new routines, you'd felt something was missing.
not only that, but caitlin was still adapting to the wnba which hasn't been all smooth-sailing. the exhausting schedule, intense practices, and pressure to perform at her best were taking a toll. she often came home exhausted, both mentally and physically, and you could see how much she needed something to lift her spirits.
as she looked at the picture of the cat on your phone, a smile began to spread across her face, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. "you really think a cat will help?"
you nodded, placing a comforting hand on her hand. "yeah! i mean, look how cute it is. and i'll clean and do everything, i swear."
she could see how much you've thought about this, her heart swelling with affection as she looked back at the photo of the adorable cat. "okay," she said softly, her smile growing. "let's do it. let's get a cat."
you squealed excitedly, pulling your taller girlfriend into a tight embrace. the excitement was palpable as you both started discussing names, imagining the little furball exploring your new home. the thought of a new addition to your lives brought a sense of warmth and anticipation, a perfect counterbalance to the stress caitlin had been experiencing.
a week later, you found yourselves at the animal shelter, hearts racing with excitement. caitlin's eyes lit up as soon as she spotted a small, fluffy kitten with bright green eyes. the kitten, curious and playful, batted at caitlin's fingers through the bars of its cage.
"look, she's so precious," she said, her voice filled with a joy you hadn’t heard in a while. "what's her name?"
you looked up at the tag. "luna."
"that's a lame name, it doesn't suit her," caitlin joked as she glanced back at the kitten. you laughed as you wrapped your arm around hers.
"oh really?" you laughed as you glanced up at your girlfriend, who's attention was completely on the kitten. "well then, what do you think we should name her?"
caitlin's eyes sparked with excitement as she thought for a moment. "how about... princess. cause she's gonna be our princess, y'know."
you laughed, loving how perfect the name sounded. "princess it is," you agreed, and the kitten seemed to perk up as if acknowledging her new name.
after completing the adoption paperwork, you both brought princess home. the tiny kitten explored her new surroundings with boundless energy, her curiosity leading her to every corner of the apartment. caitlin watched with a mixture of amusement and tenderness, her exhaustion from the day melting away as princess' playful antics filled the room.
as days went by, princess quickly adapted to her new home. she became cait's little shadow, following her around the apartment and curling up on her lap whenever she had a moment to sit. caitlin's mood noticeably improved, her stress easing as she found comfort in princess' presence.
one evening, after a particularly hard practice, caitlin came home looking worn out. princess immediately greeted her at the door, purring loudly and weaving around her legs. caitlin scooped her up, the tiredness in her eyes softening as she cuddled the kitten.
you watched them from the kitchen, a warm feeling spreading through you. "looks like someone missed you," you said, smiling as you walked over to join them.
caitlin looked up, her face lighting up with a tired but genuine smile. "i missed her too," she said softly, pressing a kiss to kitten's head.
"never thought you'd become a cat lady, cait," you joked as caitlin laughed.
"yeah, me too. but she's so sweet, look at her."
the three of you settled onto the couch, princess purring contentedly between you. caitlin leaned against you, her head resting on your shoulder. "thank you," she whispered, her voice filled with gratitude. "for bringing her into our lives."
you kissed the top of her head, your heart full. "i'm just glad she's making you happy," you replied. "we all needed this."
Tumblr media
if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!
with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚
309 notes · View notes
demonvibez · 2 years ago
Note
Ghost!!! Ive had a brainstorm!!!
The obey me characters with an MC that has a huge collection of plushies and stuffies :,,(((
Lucifer who preens each fluffy toy like a bird, Mammon who fights, slaps and kicks each plushie out of jealousy when you're not there to mediate him.
Levi who's planning intricate playdates with his stuffies and MC's stuffies. (He replays the memory in his head a lot when he's alone.) Satan who's using MC's plushies to prop up his books, he laughs when the book falls ontop of the poor stuffed animal.
Asmodeus who dotes and teases his favourite of the pile, sitting the soft toy in his lap so it can watch Asmo do a full skincare routine with him! Beel who scoops as many fluffy friends as he can into his arms to squeeze and cuddle!
Belphegor who lazily sinks into the softness of stuffed animals and takes leisure naps snuggled into the warmth.
Gjgjgkkhkggkfknfgggg I cant get it out of my head :,,|||||
Some of them turn the stuffies the other way when nightly cuddles turns into something more passionate and some of them are a bit meaner (COUGHCOUGHCOUGH LUCIFER ND HIS CORRUPTION KINK COUGHCOUGIGOVCIHCOS)
Okay, this is such a cute little imagine I just :') haha took it and ran a bit...or a lot! hope you enjoy - small suggestive/smutty part at the end, minors do not interact!
word count: 1400+ genre: mostly fluff / some smut (MDNI) tags: fluff, sibling rivalry, gender neutral reader, implied poly mc, exhibitionism, unprotected sex, oral sex, sex on camera rating: mature
Tumblr media
It all started when Lucifer had noticed your favorite plushies that you had brought from home on your bed while you were out grocery shopping with Mammon and Asmodeus. He had the bright idea to get a plushie for you himself, and give it to you as a gift. Once his other brothers found out what he had done, of course it launched into a competition, with the other Six giving you plushies as well.
Lucifer is quite serious about the plushie he has given to you - he makes sure it is kept in pristine condition every time he swings by your room. Adorned with many accessories (each imbued with protection spells, unbeknownst to you), the plushie definitely reminds you of him in appearance - of course he would get you a plushie to literally represent him. He even enchanted the plushie to carry his scent, so that when you cuddle with it at night, you can't help but to think of him. He would never admit it, but he put a lot of thought and care into his plushie for you. If he sees any of his brothers even so much as breathe on it incorrectly, he'll make a mental note to add a little extra spice the next time he wants to punish them.
Mammon is naturally the most competitive about the whole thing. Every time one of his brothers gifts you a new plushie friend, he goes right out and buys two more - bigger, better, shinier! NO ONE can outdo The Great Mammon when it comes to giving his human some plushies! He's given you so many that you could make a giant crow's nest out of them that would cover most of your bed. Whenever he comes over, he pushes all of the plushies from his brothers under your bed, arguing that "ya got all these plushies here from yer first man, why the heck would ya need anythin' else?!" and you can't help but to pull him into a tight hug and indulge him once again as you begin your movie night.
You and Leviathan actually exchange stuffies with each other, after it takes you 4 days, 67 texts and three phone calls to get Levi to leave his room after hearing about the small collection you already have from his brothers. Envy floods his brain, convincing him "you would never exchange something like that with him," but you manage to finally make him believe you! And ever since, the lil group of you have a plethora of adventures together. Now when the two of you make cosplays together, you make an additional little mini set for your plushies to wear for your next TSL night! And when he is bored, sometimes Levi can't help but to look back at the photo album of your cosplays together on his DDD fondly.
Satan definitely hates the Lucifer plushie. Like, with every fiber of his infernal being. He would love to set the damn thing on fire - and often has dreams in which he does exactly that - but he loves you more and wouldn't want to hurt you like that, so he gets his own to give you instead. You guys love to have murder mystery parties with the plushies, but had to ban the eldest's plushie from the party when you started to notice it was somehow always the victim. Aside from that, the two of you also enjoy just cuddling up together with his plushie and reading by the fire. You both have tea and cookies while sharing poetry with one another, under the embrace of your favorite fluffy blanket, the plushie snug between the two of you.
Asmodeus makes an entire day of going out shopping for plushies and outfits with you. Little did you know, he had called in a few favors with one of his fashion designer friends to have both the plushies and their outfits custom made to his design. When the two of you get back to his room, you sit down in front of his vanity with your new plushies and start making each other over, in preparation for the fashion show you’re about to have. After getting hair and makeup ready, you slip on your outfits, making sure everything looks just right, both with yourselves and your new stuffed friends. Asmo uses one of the extra plushies from his bed to prop up his DDD to record the fashion show - which still remains at the top of his Devilgram highlight reel.
Beelzebub was probably the only one of his brothers that was unfazed by the whole competitive aspect of this. He was walking back home from fangol practice one afternoon, arms full of bags of food for the two of you from Hell's Kitchen. As he's walking, he notices an adorable plushie in a shop window that reminds him of you. Of course he goes in to buy it, and soon enough he is making a beeline straight home and directly to your room with all of the goodies. He honestly has no idea which he loves more - the look on your face as you eat your favorite Devildom food, or the smile you flash and the glimmer in your eyes as he gives you the plushie. He can't help but to pull you into one of his famous Beel hugs.
Belphegor was feeling a bit bratty when he heard that his brothers were in this stupid little plushie competition for you. He ended up disappearing for a couple of days, nowhere to be found and completely ignoring all attempts to reach him via DDD. You eventually find him upon looking for him in the attic a second time. Upon entering you see him asleep in bed with a giant plushie, one as long as he is tall. You sit on the edge of his bed and call out to him a few times with no reply. After calling his name the fourth time, you reach out to touch him, only to have his tail wrap around you and pull you down into his cuddle pile. He presses a kiss into the top of your head, mumbling something about how ‘he got you this gift because you are his,’ before drifting back off to sleep. You smile and press a kiss to the bottom of his jaw, cuddling closer before joining him in slumber.
When it comes to moments of intimacy, most of the brothers are rather respectful, and don’t like the feeling of the little plushie eyes on them during your love making. Two of the brothers in particular are a bit more devious than the others, though . . .
It was one of those rare evenings where Lucifer was spending time with you in your room instead of his. One thing led to another, and now here you were; the Avatar of Pride thrusting into you as you grip the sheets and moan out his name. Right as you both are about to hit your climax together, Lucifer breaks eye contact with you as he releases, his eyes locking with the Satan plushie right as he fills you with his seed. As he is coming down from his high, a sadistic idea plants himself into the back of his mind. He had been looking for a new way to punish his brothers, and the audience of plushies watching the two of you had proven useful in giving him this devious idea. The next time his brothers did something especially egregious that warranted punishment, he will simply string them up from the ceiling and make them watch as he takes you - even just the idea of it fills him with enormous pride.
One night, after your little fashion show date, things were getting hot and heavy in your room. Asmodeus was making out with you in a rather passionate fashion as your hands found the way to the hem of his shirt, tugging it off. As you begin to pull on his belt, he grabs your hands, a devious smirk on his face and a glint in his eyes. “Wait…I have an idea…” He pushes himself off of your bed, pulling one of Mammon’s plushies along with him. He props the plushie up on the dresser across from your bed before pulling out his DDD, making sure the plushie is holding it and the front facing camera is on. He looks back to you as you nod your consent, and he makes his way back to your bed, peeling off your pants and pushing your underwear to the side, leaning down to taste you as you let out the first of many moans. He would never dream of posting the video anywhere - but he definitely does text you little clips from it to tease you when he is craving more of you.
2K notes · View notes
a-killer-obsession · 5 months ago
Note
S 1&2👀
Congrats on 250 followers!<3
Tumblr media
Deep Sleeper
Prompt: Somnophilia
Additional Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, dub-con, fingering, oral (giving? and receiving), p in v sex, facial, humiliation, threesome F/M/M
WC: 1.9k
Event Masterlist
Tumblr media
“Night everyone,” you yawned, ready to leave the post-battle victory celebration and head to bed, “wake me if anything exciting happens.”
“Like we could wake you if we tried,” Killer snorted, receiving a round of laughs from the surrounding crewmates at your expense.
“Whatever!” You puffed your cheeks and huffed, “I'm not that deep of a sleeper!”
“Yeah?” Killer smirked under his mask, “you wake right up don't you?”
“Like that time you fell asleep in Dive's spot on the couch,” Heat laughed, “so she bit you!”
“I thought she was dead!” Dive clattered her teeth together as she giggled, “she didn't even wake up when House was stitching her up!”
“It was one time!” You pouted, “I was really tired!”
“Okay, then what about that time you fell out of bed during a storm,” Wire added, “and you came to breakfast with a shard of wood sticking out of your shoulder that you didn't even realise was there?”
“I have a high pain tolerance!” You frowned, crossing your arms and staring daggers at Killer for starting this. “I wake up just fine when someone wakes me, thank you very much!”
“No you don't, you narcoleptic bitch!” Kid roared, “Kil and I could fuck ya brains out and ya wouldn't wake!”
“Yeah? Bet!” You squinted at him, laying down the challenge. Sex was not something any Kid Pirate was shy about, but you were confident you'd wake up at that, especially knowing how big the two men are in that department.
“Yeah, and what do we get if we win?” Kid smirked, exchanging a knowing look with Killer.
“The two of you can freeuse me for a week,” you replied confidently, “and if I win, you take me off the bathroom cleaning rotation for the rest of the year.”
“Deal,” Kid held out his flesh arm and you shook it, Kid grabbing your hand hard and pulling you close, “Yer gonna look so pretty at breakfast with my load on yer face,” he purred in your ear, making you shiver, before you turned and scowled at him for appearances, despite the electricity pooling at your core.
Tumblr media
Kid and Killer gave you plenty of time to fall asleep, not that you needed it, you always fell unconscious hard and fast after a good battle and a good feast. The two of them made their way to your room, laughing and shoving each other, anticipating the fun they would have with your body. They knocked on your door, out of principle, but of course you didn't reply, which only made them laugh more. They entered your room with muffled snickers, even Killer having trouble suppressing his true laugh as they found you asleep face down on top of your covers, still fully dressed, shoes included, like you'd just flopped on the bed and immediately passed out.
“What did I say?” Kid laughed, “Fuckin’ narcoleptic!”
“Adds to the challenge,” Killer noted, pulling your shoes from your feet, “probably did it on purpose, thinking pulling her clothes off would wake her.”
“Sounds to me like she's askin’ to lose these clothes,” Kid smirked, pulling a dagger from his bandolier. He slid the blade under the edge of one leg of your pants, before sliding the blade up, cutting open the fabric, repeating the action on the other side until all that covered your ass was a scrap of denim. Killer removed the scrap, before tearing your panties and pulling them away as well, leaving you without clothes on your lower half and exposing your cunt to the men. Killer pushed at your thighs to spread your legs, your pussy pretty and inviting, a slight glisten to it from your earlier arousal.
“Pretty,” Killer noted, running his thumb through your folds, to which you still didn't wake, snoring softly as he touched you. “She's wet, she was really counting on us trying it huh?”
“Little slut,” Kid gave an amused bark, “let's roll her, I wanna see her tits.”
Killer rolled you over unceremoniously, and Kid was quick to rip open your blouse and run his dagger through the connection between your bra cups, your breasts springing free, nipples pert as the cold air breezed over them. Kid gave your nipple a pinch, watching your face for a reaction and smirking when you didn't even twitch. “She's fuckin' out of it,” he laughed, “let's have some fuckin’ fun, aye?”
The two of them stripped off their clothes, Kid even leaving his metal arm against the wall and Killer removing his mask - that was how sure he was that you wouldn't wake up. Killer knelt between your legs, nuzzling his nose against your clit before running his tongue through your slit. It wasn't often that he got to indulge in one of his favourite treats, since he didn't usually remove his mask, and he groaned against your cunt as your honey collected on his tongue. He lapped at your cunt, circling your sensitive bud and toying with your entrance. Your pussy leaked as he stimulated you, your body responding to the pleasure he was giving you even while unconscious, which pleased him greatly.
Meanwhile, the bed dipped as Kid knelt next to your head, stroking himself as he admired your pretty, plush lips. He ran his thumb over your lips, pushing it inside and feeling how hot and wet your mouth was. He rubbed his cock against your cheek, smearing precum on it, before rubbing his shaft against the seam of your lips. He used his thumb to pull open your mouth, pushing the fat head of his cock between your lips, just putting the tip in your mouth and making shallow thrusts before deciding to go a little further. He couldn't deepthroat you like this, but he could enjoy the way your cheek bulged as the head of his cock prodded against the inside of it. He held your jaw open just enough that your lips were still tight around his shaft as he worked his cock in and out of your mouth.
Killer began the process of stretching you out so they could take turns fucking your pussy, first bullying his tongue inside you before switching to his fingers, sucking on your clit as he worked two inside of you, then a third, pumping you slowly and scissoring his fingers to stretch you out. Killer curled his fingers and the two of them heard you moan softly around Kid's cock. “Fuck, do that again Kil,” Kid instructed.
Killer made come hither motions inside you, and your gummy walls fluttered around his fingers as you moaned again, your pussy getting tight around his fingers as a small gush of fluid came out of you. “Oh fuck, she came!” Killer laughed, “she fucking came and she's still asleep!”
“Now that's what you call a wet dream,” Kid chuckled, “she ready for a cock?”
“Yeah, you want to go first?” Killer asked, still pumping his fingers into you.
“Yeah, shove off,” Kid barked. The two of them swapped spaces, Killer opting to wrap your hand around his cock to fist himself with it, the head of his cock pressing against your open lips with each motion, his free hand playing with your tits. Kid lined his cock up with your entrance and pushed in, making you whimper in your sleep as his fat cock stretched you further. “Fuck, so tight and wet,” Kid growled, “her cunt is sucking me in, greedy slut.”
The two of them used your body in unison, even the jostling of Kid's increasingly hard thrusts not waking you from the bone deep sleep you were in. You made the occasional soft moan but made no sign of waking as they fucked you, Kid getting more daring with the speed and force of his thrusts as Killer slipped his cock in your mouth just as Kid had earlier. Kid felt himself getting close as you made little whines in your sleep, drool pooling at the corner of your open mouth and dribbling down your cheek and neck. “Swap with me,” Kid barked, “I'm about to paint that pretty face.”
The two of them swapped places again, Killer groaning as his cock slid inside you, squeezed tight by your hot wet cunt. Kid held your mouth shut as he rubbed the underside of his shaft against your lips, precum leaking from his throbbing cock before he grunted and came, spilling thick white all over your lips and cheek, some of it dripping into your hair. “Ha, nice,” Kid mused, slapping his softening cock against your cheek and using your soft skin to wipe away the last drips of cum. “Your turn Kil, paint her white.”
Killer didn't need much longer to get him there after watching Kid cum on your face, fucking you hard and fast in a manner that would have any conscious woman screaming in pleasure. He truly didn't understand how you hadn't woken up, he was really being rough with you, and his fingers would no doubt leave bruises on your hips. He pulled out quickly when he felt himself getting close, not making it all the way to your face but managing to coat your chest in a viscous spray of cum, a few rogue splashes making it to your chin as he straddled your stomach and panted. The two of them exchanged shit eating grins, knowing they had won the bet, before Killer climbed off you.
They removed the remaining scraps of your clothing so you would just assume you'd fallen asleep naked, knowing you were ditsy enough to forget you went to bed clothed, before getting their things and redressing. Killer scooped you up bridal style so Kid could pull back the blanket, and they tucked you into your bed, not cleaning off their cum purposely.
Tumblr media
The next day nothing seemed amiss when you woke. You could have sworn you went to bed dressed, but you guessed you must have misremembered. You preferred to shower after breakfast, when there were less people taking up all the showers in the communal bathroom, so you sleepily made your way to the galley. Crew mates snickered and nudged each other as you made your way to the table where Kid and Killer sat, the two of them struggling to keep a straight face. You served yourself breakfast from the sharing trays on the table, shoving a forkful of eggs in your mouth before realising everyone was staring at you, slowly removing the fork and swallowing your mouthful.
“What?” You asked anxiously, worried there was some sort of spider on you or something.
“You got a little something in your hair,” Wire snickered, pointing at the side of your face. You touched where he pointed, your hand coming away covered in something white and sticky.
“Uh.. ARG,” you shouted as you realised what it was, wiping your hand on your pants, “KID THAT'S FUCKIN’ DISGUSTING!”
“Had to leave some proof,” Kid smirked, “we're gonna have so much fun with that tight cunt over the next week. Hope you're ready to not get any sleep. Or maybe we'll just fuck you in your sleep again.”
You groaned and pushed your plate out of the way so you could slam your head against the table in defeat. Maybe you should see a doctor about your sleeping issues. Or not.
Tumblr media
Like my stuff? Consider buying me a ko-fi
Taglist: @daydreamer-in-training @chairmanraph @florcxo @luvnisstuff @nocturnalrorobin @fanaticsnail
265 notes · View notes
holllandtrash · 2 years ago
Text
death of me | carlos sainz
Tumblr media
pairing: carlos sainz jr. x reader
in short, the three times you didn't tell carlos you loved him and the one time it was almost too late.
i actually had 2 requests with these prompts so this is those requests 1: “You’re leaving because it’s easier to walk away than to fight for what you really want” 11: “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I love you when I knew I did.” 94: “Look me in the eyes and tell me that.”
Word count: 9.8k
warnings/tags: 18+ angst, fluff, plot with some smut, very light dom/sub blink and you miss it, this is a goddamn rollercoaster im sorry
Tumblr media
17 August 2023
You got the call and honestly, you thought it was a joke. Some horrible, practical joke that someone in your life had set up because they knew it would get to you.
Which is why you laughed when you heard the person on the other line say, “There’s been an accident.”
“Yeah, okay,” you snorted, rolling your eyes as you dried the bowl in your hand, finally getting to the stack of dishes you had been neglecting since this morning. “Who put you up to this?”
“No, this isn’t a joke, Miss,” the woman on the line said. “I’m calling from the Jiminez Diaz Hospital. There’s been an accident. Carlos Sainz Jr. was involved in a car accident. He’s-
You didn't hear the rest of whatever the nurse had to say. The ringing in your eyes drowned her out, along with the bowl slipping from your grasp and crashing onto the floor, pieces of blue ceramic shattered around your feet.
Frozen, you tried to listen to the calming voice on the other end of the line, the voice telling you that he was undergoing surgery. She couldn’t provide any more additional information, but she encouraged you, as his emergency contact, to come to the hospital as soon as you possibly could.
As you hurried to find your keys, your relationship with Carlos flashed before your eyes. Every moment, every laugh, every kiss, every fight, every word said and unsaid.
And god there were way too many words you hadn’t got the chance to say.
31 December 2022
Carlos grabbed hold of your waist and you giggled before slipping out of his hold, reaching for the bottle of champagne on top of the fridge. He tried to take it from you, knowing that you probably weren’t going to be able to successfully open it but you just aimed the cork in his direction and he backed off.
“That’s the third bottle,” Carlos told you, he wasn’t scolding, just casually pointing out that you were going to have a massive headache tomorrow morning.
“And it’s about to be the twenty-third year,” you said. Which was technically incorrect, but Carlos admired your excitement too much to correct you. You pointed the bottle in the direction of the hallway and he braced himself for the cork to go flying. 
When you managed to pop it off without his help, the bubbly liquid came pouring out the side and you laughed as you held it up above Carlos’ face, instructing him to open his mouth. He listened, but your aim was horrible and the champagne spilled down the side of his chin.
“Here,” Carlos said, taking the bottle from you. You looked up at him and smiled, needing to take a second to focus on him and not on how the walls behind him were spinning. Carlos’ touch was soft as he brushed his thumb over your lower lip, opening your mouth enough for him to pour some of the champagne down your throat as well.
You were drunk, but you were still standing so you considered that a win. You just needed to last twelve more minutes till midnight and then you could collapse on the couch with him if you wanted. 
The two of you were supposed to go out to a house party that his friend was throwing. But then you walked out of the bedroom wearing a silk red dress that stopped at your thighs and your hair in perfect waves that looked ideal for Carlos to tangle his fingers through and he quickly decided that he didn’t want to share you going into the New Year. The only person he wanted to celebrate with was you.
So he grabbed one of the champagne bottles and picked you up, hoisting you over his shoulder as you squealed. He carried you back into the room you just walked out of and as much as he admired the dress on you, it looked so much better stained with champagne and crumpled on the floor.
You had only been together a few weeks, you were still in the honeymoon stage, which is part of the reason why you were more than happy to just stay at home with him tonight. You couldn’t get enough of him, and Carlos felt the same.
Carlos worshipped you. He had ever since the night you first met, which just so happened to be the first time you slept together.
He wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a hookup after catching his eye at the club. You were supposed to go home the next morning, but how could you go home when he woke you up by leaving a trail of kisses down your naval and then across your thighs before he dove into your centre. He worked his tongue through your folds, not slowing until you were seeing stars. 
When you did finally cum, legs convulsing around him, Carlos licked up every drop of your juices and then his lips found their way back to yours. He told you he wanted you to taste yourself on his tongue and that was when you knew you were absolutely fucked. 
Carlos knew your body, he knew how to pleasure you in ways you didn’t even know were possible. It was the sexual drive and the lust between you that drove you to him in the first place, but you stayed for so much more.
You stayed because he memorised your coffee order after the first morning you spent together. You stayed because he listened to you talk about your family for, you timed it, three and a half hours because he wanted to hear all about the ties and the drama and the people that raised you. You stayed because Carlos treated every date like the first one, always looking for ways to impress you, to make you blush or smile.
So there were, four weeks later and ignoring his friends and the promise you made to celebrate New Years Eve with them, because let’s face it, Carlos much preferred having you on your knees in front of him than having to make small talk until the clock struck midnight. 
His fingers twisted through your hair as he released into your mouth and pulled out of you, but before you could swallow he kept your mouth open with a tight grip on your chin. Carlos grabbed the champagne bottle next to him and poured the bubbly liquid down your throat. The subtle twitch of his eyebrow was the instruction you were waiting for and you swallowed, tasting the sweet and salty mixture of champagne and him. 
You spent your evening tangled up in the sheets, you on top of him, him on top of you. When you left for a moment to go grab a second bottle of champagne, Carlos followed and hoisted you up on the counter, picking up right where you left off.
Now you were drunk. It was the champagne, yes, but it was also Carlos. He was intoxicating, he made you feel bubbly more than the drink itself did. He’s the one you couldn’t get enough of. With his shaggy, dark hair and even darker gaze, you pulled his face to yours and wiped the excess liquid from his chin. You sucked on the pad of your thumb, your lips pulling back into a devious smirk as Carlos groaned, dropping his face to the crook of your neck.
“Tú serás la muerte de mí,” You’ll be the death of me. 
“Good,” you whispered, inhaling a sharp breath when he attached his lips to your throat, nibbling and sucking on your already marked up skin. You could still feel the ghost of his fingertips from when he choked you earlier, something you both loved, but his mouth was also enough to leave you gasping for air. 
He knew you, he knew your body. He anticipated your reaction every time he touched you. And while you both thought you were taking a break to be able to catch the countdown, even having put on one of his shirts to keep his eyes from wandering, you were almost ready to drag him back to the bedroom because Carlos Sainz Jr. was also going to be the death of you.
But it was New Years Eve.
“Carlos,” you whimpered, pulling your fingers through his hair and giving him a sharp tug so he would lift his head. You hovered your lips over his, “We’ll miss the countdown.”
“I don’t care,” he chuckled, he nudged his nose against yours before connecting your lips. You both still tasted like champagne and god you couldn’t get enough of it. Carlos smiled against your lips and pulled back when he felt you pout. “What, hermosa?”
“I like the countdown,” you admitted, the volume you spoke at dropping about ten levels as you stared up at him through your lashes. “It’s like we get to start a new chapter in our lives at midnight.”
His smile didn’t fade because he loved the way you looked at the world with such a pure lens. He cupped your cheeks, thumbs brushing over your flushed skin. You expected him to kiss you again but he just pressed his lips to the top of your head.
“The only chapters I care about are the ones with you in it.”
You were drunk, but god did that line sober you up. 
You couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol flowing through your system or if it was because your heart was beating too fast for your own good, but your lips parted with the intent of saying those three little words.
Because you knew then, at that moment, you loved him.
But Carlos kissed you and swallowed the words that were dancing on the tip of your tongue. You thought that maybe that was for the better. It had only been four weeks. A month. It was too soon to tell him you loved him, you’d scare him off. You didn’t need to start a new year with a traumatised boyfriend.
So you kept it to yourself and told yourself that there would come a better time to tell him how you felt because even though you were certain you loved the man standing before you, now was not the time to say it.
But when was the time?
16 Feb 2023
You opened up the top drawer of the dresser that sat across from Carlos’ bed, but he grabbed hold of your wrist before you could pull your clothes out from it.
“Don’t,” he said, demanded basically. “Don’t pack up your things.”
Ripping your arm from his grasp, you ignored his plea and grabbed the pile of clothes that had accumulated here over the last couple months. It started as a joke, leaving your clothes here, at his place, telling him that you needed an excuse to come over. 
And then one t-shirt turned into half of your closet being crammed in with his. Carlos didn’t complain once.
But you couldn’t live in this fantasy world you had created for yourselves any longer. Carlos was about to travel to Bahrain for the start of the season and then he’d head to Italy in between races and then Jeddah and then Australia and you’d be here. In Madrid.
“I’m not staying in your house while you’re travelling around the world racing,” you scoffed, hoping he could see how preposterous the idea was. He opened his mouth, giving you that same look he gave you every time he was about to bring up the idea of you travelling with him. You pointed a finger in his face, “And I’m not going with you.”
You couldn’t. You had a life here, a job here. You had no idea how other girlfriends and partners of these drivers were able to get up and leave their homes for a half of a week to support them, but you couldn’t do that.
Carlo yanked the clothes out of your hands and shoved them back into the drawer. You scowled at him, not like you were very intimidating but you tried to be. 
“Carlos,” you huffed out his name. “Let me pack, let me move out. This has been fun but-”
“But nothing,” Carlos cut you off and reached for your arm once more, pulling you towards him. You had been avoiding his eyes for the last hour and he knew something was up, something that went further than just taking your clothes home. “Talk to me, hermosa.”
Carlos didn’t just know your body, he knew you. Your mannerisms, your anxious fidgeting, your facial expressions. He knew your thoughts travelling through your head before you did, the two of you were so in sync it was terrifying.
So he physically felt the heavy exhale you finally let out, forcing all of the weight you had been carrying on your shoulders into the space between you.
“Why does this feel like a break up?” He asked, trailing his hand up your arm. His touch was soft and comforting and you wished it was enough to make everything better. It should have been enough.
And your next few words didn’t just hurt you, they sliced right through Carlos.
“Because I think it is a break up.”
Carlos let go of you to rub his hands over his face before tugging them through his hair. He backed up, putting a little bit more space between your bodies because as much as he wanted to hold you and tell you that you were making a mistake, he heard the certainty in your voice. The ‘I think’ was only added for his benefit. Your mind was made up. He knew it.
And you had seemingly known it for a while, too. You knew this moment was coming.
He walked out of the room when you turned your face, no longer trying to stop you from packing up your bags. He shut the door after him, refraining from slamming it because that’s not who Carlos was. He didn’t do things out of haste and anger, he wasn’t a reactive person.
No, Carlos sat in his thoughts and his feelings and he let them simmer. He thought about the last few months and wondered if it meant anything at all to you, because he thought it did. 
And now you were throwing it all away and because what? Because you didn’t want a partner who travelled for a living? You weren’t even trying to put the effort in, you were giving up before it got difficult. And who’s to say it would get difficult? Carlos’ home was still in Madrid, he would always come back to you and now you weren’t giving him the option to.
He could hear you packing from down the hall, a few drawers shutting, his closet opening and closing. This was wrong. And if it felt wrong to him he knew it must have felt wrong for you too, even if you didn’t want to admit it. 
When you walked out a while later, a duffle bag over your shoulder, a small suitcase behind you, you still avoided his eyes as much as you could because you didn’t want him to know you had been crying. You didn’t want him to know that this break up was destroying you, but was ultimately the right thing to do.
Carlos stood up and approached you, still keeping his emotions in check even though it broke him to see you so hurt, so hurt over your own choices. 
This could be avoided, he thought. This didn’t need to end.
You dropped the bag to the ground and inhaled a deep breath. You glanced at Carlos, but only momentarily as he stood in front of you. It was a lot easier to look at the buttons of his shirt or the rings on his hand or literally anything else because meeting his gaze was too hard. 
But this is why you had to leave.
You hated goodbyes and if you had to say goodbye to him every week, if you were going to be in different countries for most of the year, if you weren’t even going to be with him, then what was the point of this relationship?
You wanted to grow with your partner and you couldn’t do that if they were a Formula 1 driver. You couldn’t grow with Carlos.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered with a shake of your head. He could hear the way you choked to get those words out, fighting back even more tears. 
Carlos, knowing he didn’t have much a chance to convince you into staying, still lifted his hand to your face, cupping your cheek and choosing to look past the way you winced as you leaned into his touch, as if already thinking about how this would be the last time you’d feel this sense of comfort.
“Don’t do this,” Carlos said, voice timid and lanced with desperation. “Please.”
“Carlos, please don’t make this harder than it has to be-”
“I love you.”
You froze. 
Even as Carlos rested his other palm against the side of your face and forced your attention on him, dipping his head as he repeated those words, you remained frozen. 
“I love you,” he spoke with so much confidence it scared you. “I love you and I don’t want this to be over. It can’t be over.”
It wasn’t that you couldn’t say those words back because you didn't reciprocate them, you couldn’t say it back because it would only make things harder. Up until now, neither of you had said you loved the other. And up until now, you were perfectly happy pushing what you felt for him down because the timing never felt right and now you knew why.
Deep down you always knew that you’d find yourself needing to walk away. 
He’d have an easier time letting you go if you told him you didn’t love him and while it would have been a lie, it was what he needed to hear. 
You stepped back and grabbed the duffle bag off the floor, his arms fell back to his sides.
“I’m sorry, Carlos, I don’t-” you turned to the door, letting your hair fall in front of your face, “I don’t love you.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He wasn’t arrogant, but he was persistent. 
“Well it’s true,” you pulled the strap of the bag over your shoulder and reached for the handle of the door. If you just avoided his big brown eyes and the stare that had you hooked before either of you ever said a word, you could leave. You pulled open the door, only for him to press his palm against it and slam it shut again.
You felt his chest against your back as he stepped forward. Each breath he took was in sync with yours, because you two were always in sync, even at the worst of times.
“I don’t love you,” you repeated, raising your voice.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me that, then.”
You couldn’t. 
You couldn’t because the moment you turned around you would fall back into his arms. You’d let yourself get swept away by his promises and his affection and then he’d leave for a race and then another and another. You loved this bubble you created during the office season and you fell so hard so fast for Carlos, but it wasn’t meant to last.
“I’m leaving,” was all you could get, gripping the handle again and yanking the door open with such force that Carlos had no choice but to take a step back. He tried to reach for you, his fingers ghosted over yours, but there was nothing he could do to stop you.
You were gone.
June 4 2023
You kept up with the races throughout the beginning of the season. You still followed his account and all of the motorsport ones he was associated with. You didn’t dare like or comment on any of them, but you weren’t ready to let him go.
Telling Carlos you didn’t love him was the hardest thing you’d ever done.
And you didn’t let yourself look at him as you said it either, you didn’t take on any of the pain that he felt. You said the words, you broke his heart and then you left. 
Carlos didn’t try to reach out once, not like you expected him to. Even when he was home between races, which wasn’t often, you’d only hear about it from social media. 
But this was what you wanted, right? You wanted this life, you wanted to stay home. You didn’t want to keep chasing after a Formula 1 driver and be forced to follow him from country to country if you wanted to spend time with him. That wasn't healthy nor was it something you wanted to put yourself through.
Getting over him, however, was impossible. 
And you tried, really. You went out with your friends, you distracted yourself, you picked up hobby after hobby but good god your thoughts always travelled back to him. 
You fought with yourself. You kept asking yourself if you made a mistake by ending things. You kept wondering why you didn’t at least try. But then you’d see a photo of him getting into yet another plane and you knew you made the right choice. 
Your lifestyles were extremely different. Your personalities were compatible, yes, but the way you went about your day to day lives would never line up. At least not while he was racing.
You wouldn’t lie to yourself, though. You liked watching him race.
When you watched from home, your eyes were always on the number 55 Ferrari. You rooted for him, you winced at every near miss, you celebrated his finishes and without fail, you always looked at your phone and thought about congratulating him via text or even a call, only to instantly decide against it.
You weren’t even that big of a Formula 1 fan before you met him, but now this seemed to be as close to him as you’d ever get again.
It didn’t help that he looked good. 
Carlos pulled off those red racing overalls. And when they hung low around his hips and the fireproofs clung to his skin, god you wanted to scream at yourself for letting him go. You could have been there, at the races, if you just put a little more effort in. You could have been the one to rip the fireproofs off his body after he got out of the car, because let's face it, after some of the runs he’s had this season, you knew he was probably needing an outlet to release some of that pent up energy and frustration. 
You missed running your fingers through his hair. You missed the feeling of his lips tracing every inch of your skin. You missed waking up next to him and seeing your legs tangled together with the sheets. You missed that he was always looking for a reason to touch you, whether it be your wrist or your pinky finger or your back, his hand was always on you.
You missed Carlos.
You loved Carlos.
Which was why your judgement was a little clouded when your friend invited you to Barcelona the weekend of the grand prix, not to watch the race because god knew neither of you could afford tickets, but to visit the clubs she hoped the drivers would be at. 
She knew people who knew people and you didn’t ask questions, you just gripped her hand tightly as she led you towards the VIP section of the third club that night. The first one was a bust. The second one you spotted a few people associated with Formula 1, but the third nightclub was the jackpot.
It didn’t take long to spot Charles, celebrating getting a podium after a difficult qualifying session on Saturday. You never actually met Charles but you had heard lots about him, and from the look he gave you across the lounge, you had a feeling he had heard a lot about you too.
With a drink in his hand, he made his way towards you, nodding to himself when he realised that, yes, the girl in front of him was in fact his teammate's ex. 
“Does Carlos know you’re here?” Charles asked, dipping his face towards your ear to be heard over the obnoxious music. You shook your head, eyes darting all around him but the Spanish driver was nowhere in sight.
“Is he-” god why were you even asking? You didn’t have a right to. You broke up with him. “Is he here?”
Charles nodded again, standing up straight to look around the crowded room full of bodies dancing and mingling. A chuckle passed his lips as his eyes widened momentarily, “Looks like he’s a little busy though.”
You turned on your heels. It took a second for you to understand what Charles was talking about.
But then you saw it.
A girl, who very much resembled you, height wise and hair wise, had her arms wrapped around Carlos’ neck as she held their bodies together, letting the music flow through them as they danced together. 
You hated the way he was staring at her, like he was thinking about all of the ways he was going to devour her. 
And unlike Carlos, you did not let your feelings sit. You reacted to everything. Out of anger, spite, jealousy, you never took a second to think about your actions or the potential consequences before doing anything. 
So before you even processed how horrible of an idea this was, you walked across the club, the music fading into the background as you only heard a high pitched ringing in your ears. Carlos paid no attention to you, he had no idea you were even there until you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand off the waist of your lookalike. 
She scoffed at you and shot a quick glance towards Carlos, “Cuál es su problema?” What’s your problem?
“You,” You shot back, not giving her any chance of a rebuttal before you pulled Carlos away from her and the dance floor. He called your name, trying to get your attention as you navigated your way to the bathrooms. He was much stronger than you, so he could have pulled your hand off of him if he really wanted to, but he let you drag him into the single user washroom without much of a fight.
It wasn’t until you locked the door behind him and stood only inches apart did it sink in what you just did.
Your heart was racing as you stared up at Carlos. You took in his stern features, the way his eyebrows pinched together as he waited for an explanation, the way he crossed his arms over his chest. 
This was very reminiscent of the night you met, only when you met in the club you pulled him into the backseat of a car and he couldn’t take his hands off of you. Now, he was purposely keeping the distance and he seemingly wanted nothing to do with you.
He must have known you didn’t have any words because he cleared his throat and eyed you once over, “What the fuck was that?”
What the hell could you say? That was me pulling you off some stupid look alike because even though I broke up with you, I don’t want to see you with anyone else?
That would be the truth. The reasonable thing to respond with because after pulling him away from his date, you probably at least owed him some honesty.
But again, you were someone who reacted. 
“What?” You scoffed, arm flailing to the side. “You think you can come back to Spain for the first time in months and not say a single fucking thing to me? Weren’t you the one who said your home was in Madrid? People talk, Carlos, you haven’t been home since the day-”
“Since the day you left,” he interrupted, knowing damn well you were trying to say he hadn’t been back home since he left for the season even though you both knew there was a deeper reasoning as to why. 
Carlos shook his head. His usually loving stare was cold and intimidating, he wasn’t going to let you put the blame on him for anything that had occurred.
“I haven’t been back to Madrid since that day you walked out on me,” Carlos repeated himself, putting heavy emphasis on the reminder that you were the one that left him. “I hope you understand, but I haven’t really been in any sort of rush to go back.”
Why would he want to go back home knowing you wouldn’t be there when he returned? Why would he go back to the one place he knew you’d be, but would still inevitably be just out of his reach? So close yet so fucking far. 
He wasn’t going to put himself through that, through knowing you’d be in the same city but not being able to touch you. It was easier to find other places to stay between races.
And you did understand that. It may not have sunk in right away, but it made sense now. You couldn’t see it through the tv screen, you couldn’t get a read on him when you were watching him race from miles and miles away. But you saw it now.
Carlos hadn’t moved on either.
He took a breath as he leaned back against the door. You didn’t like the defensive stance he was relying on. With his arms over his chest all you wanted was to step forward and take his hands in yours. You hated the space between your bodies.
But you were broken up. You both had to accept that, as hard as it was, and that was your doing. 
Except you still didn’t want to see him with someone else.
“So who was she?” You asked, drifting the topic of conversation back to the girl from the dance floor.
“You don’t really have a right to ask.”
“It’s not a crime to be curious.”
Carlos clenched his jaw as he averted his gaze for a second. He rubbed his palm over his chin and shrugged, giving in to your question because he always did struggle to say no to you, “I don’t know, honestly. I met her ten minutes ago at the bar.”
“Sounds familiar,” you muttered under your breath, thinking back to when you first met.
“We met on the dance floor,” Carlos pointed out.
“I was on the dance floor. You were at the bar.”
“We were both on the dance floor,” he repeated, sounding more sure of himself the second time. 
His eyes dropped, taking in your outfit of choice for the first time since you’ve been in the enclosed space and when the corner of his lips curved upwards, just for a second, you felt your heart skip a beat just like it did the first night you met.
“You were wearing that same skirt too,” he said and you automatically looked down at the black leather skirt you currently had on. 
“Was not,” you scoffed, but to be fair, you had absolutely no idea what you had on that night.
Carlos chuckled, ignoring your childish rebuttal. “That skirt and a white top and I know it was white because I remember watching you spill your drink all over the front of it and you said-”
“I need an excuse to take it off anyway,” you finished for him, flashes of that night appeared in your mind. For so long, you only remembered how Carlos made you feel when you first met that none of the other details mattered.
But he remembered everything.
“You ordered gin and tonics all night,” Carlos continued, studying your face as your features softened with each additional memory. “Your friends tried to pull you away from me when we were on the dance floor and you didn’t let them. When I introduced myself, you had no idea who I was and when we finally stepped outside to leave the club, you looked at me with those big eyes of yours and you-” 
He stopped midway and inhaled a faint breath, you both did actually. His was due to reliving the night you first met and yours was due to the fact that Carlos stepped forward finally, raising his fingers to your chin to tilt your face upwards. 
You leaned into his touch, stepping forward yourself to trace your hand over the shirt he wore as he finished his final thought.
“You looked up at me and you told me I looked like someone you could fall in love with.”
Alarms went off. You wanted to run again. You didn’t want to have this conversation again. Once was enough. 
“I don’t- I don’t remember that,” you stammered out. 
“Because you were drinking gin and tonics all night,” Carlos said again, this time with a hint of a smile. “I also don’t even think you meant to say it, you changed the topic immediately afterwards.”
“You could just be making this shit up,” you pointed out, not wanting to accept the fact that you knew Carlos would be someone you would love since that first night. 
“I could be,” he nodded in agreement, fingers still holding onto your jaw. He stared at you the way he used to. With such adoration and desire. What used to be lust melted into something so much stronger and it hadn’t faded even if months passed. “But unlike you, I don’t lie.”
Your eyebrows pinched together, “When have I ever lied to you?” 
“The day you left,” there was another hit to the chest as you anticipated the rest of his sentence. “When you told me you didn’t love me.”
“That wasn’t a lie,” your words tasted like acid on your tongue. 
His hand fell from your face and he laughed. The sort of laugh that had your stomach turning in knots because there was nothing humorous about this situation you had now found yourselves in for the second time in four months.
“I know you,” Carlos said. “And I know there’s no possible way that I am the only one that feels so strongly it hurts. I know you love me because I feel it. I always have. In the way you touch me, in the way you run your hands through my hair, in the way you used to wake me up in the morning by kissing me until I finally opened my eyes. I know you love me because I see it in everything you do. In the way you look at me, the way your eyes always found mine if we were in a crowded room and I could see the breath of relief you’d take because as long as we saw each other, the world was calm. I saw it when you started leaving your clothes at my place, when you started going grocery shopping for us instead of just you and I saw how it broke you to walk out on me that day. It wouldn’t have hurt if you didn’t love me.”
With your hand still gripping onto his shirt, your lower lip trembled as you tried to find something to say in response. Every single word that came out of his mouth was true. He knew you better than you knew yourself and he probably knew long before you did that you loved him.
You dropped your gaze, focusing on the wrinkles on his shirt and the white button you played with under your thumb, “You know that phrase, if you love something, set it free?”
“And if it comes back, it's yours,” Carlos added on, stepping closer as he raised his hand to the side of your face, his fingers twisting through your hair. “I’m here, hermosa. I’m yours, I’ve always been yours.”
Now it was your turn to laugh. You forced yourself to, thinking that the humorous breath of air protruding from your lips might make the rest of this conversation easier. 
It didn’t.
“Carlos I can’t keep setting you free every time there’s a race,” you said, your voice timid. “I can’t. If I’m going to love you I’m going to do it with every bone in my body, with every fibre of my being and I can’t do that if you’re gone for eight months of the year. I need you in my life, with me, by my side, not on a tv screen, not all around the world.”
What you were asking for was selfish, you knew this. You knew that, essentially, you were putting Carlos in a position where he had to choose. He had to choose between you and racing and that wasn’t a fair spot for him to be in. You knew this.
Which is why you chose for him. 
Four months ago you chose for him, and you were doing it again now.
You briefly glanced up to meet his eyes, trying to move past the way you were melting at the feeling of his hands in your hair. 
“I shouldn’t have come to Barcelona, I’m sorry,” you breathed out, hands falling to your side. Without so much as a second look, you stepped past the driver and reached for the door handle. 
Carlos didn’t let you walk out on him this time.
He grabbed your wrist and spun you back around so fast that you didn’t have a second to breathe before his lips were on yours. Furiously and passionately like he was making up for all of these months without you. His tongue dove into your mouth as you slid your hand around the back of his neck, holding his face to yours because even though you knew this was a terrible idea, that you were broken up, there was no better feeling in the world than kissing Carlos Sainz Jr.
Neither of you were sure who started undressing first. It didn’t matter. Buttons went flying, your skirt got hiked up around your waist and when Carlos hoisted you up to place you on top of the sink, you had a momentary lapse of judgement and asked yourself why you broke up with him in the first place.
“I miss you,” Carlos muttered against your lips as you inhaled a sharp breath when he pushed your panties aside, the pads of his fingers traced over your folds. “I missed this.” 
“Carlos-”
“Missed how wet you got for me,” Carlos ignored whatever plea was about to fall from your lips as he pressed his mouth to the crook of your neck. 
You were putty in his hands, quite literally. There was nothing but quiet whimpers and strangled moans from you as he slid two fingers past your folds, both of you forgetting that your conversation ended with you trying to walk out on him.
His thumb traced over your clit, applying the slightest bit of pressure, just enough to have you arching your back as you sat perched on the edge of the counter. You felt him smirk against your skin right when he picked up the pace of his digits, curling them against your walls, so deep inside you.
You dragged your fingers through his hair, encouraging him to keep his lips on that spot just below your ear as your head fell backward. Carlos kept you upright, he supported you, he knew how helpless you were during times like these and he lived for it. 
Four months ago you would have never thought that walking out on Carlos Sainz Jr. would lead you to being finger fucked by him in the bathroom of a Barcelona club. 
He lifted his head, replacing his lips on your throat with his free hand and forcing you to look at him. You recognised the lustful stare, only growing darker as he alternated between lightly tracing your most sensitive nub and pinching it between his forefinger and thumb until your legs quivered beneath you.
Carlos attached his mouth to yours, biting down and tugging on your lower lip, the sharp pain only added to the pleasure coursing through your body. He thrusted his fingers into you with such force it had you yanking on his dark hair so hard Carlos hissed through his teeth. 
“Cum for me,” Carlos’ groan was masked with a demand. One you had no possibility of ignoring as your body reacted to him and his words. With his fingers so deep inside you, Carlos worked you through your release, slowing but not stopping as you dropped your head to his shoulder, holding him as close to you as you possibly could.
When he finally pulled his fingers out of you, you weren’t surprised when he brought them up to his lips. There was a perfectly fine sink right in front of him but Carlos would never waste an opportunity to taste you. 
He then cupped your chin, his gaze softened but you could still make out the mischievous glint. This night wasn’t over.
“Let’s get out of here.”
That’s all it took. Those five little words. The one request and you had forgotten every logical decision that had led you up to this moment. He helped you off the counter, kissing you once more before you had to leave the privacy of the bathroom and before long you found yourself walking the same route as the first night you met.
Past the dance floor, sending your friend an assuring smile, silently telling her everything was fine. Carlos led the way at first, you kept a safe distance behind him and when you walked outside there was already a car waiting out front. You climbed into the backseat alongside him, ignoring the flashes from paparazzi and the call from them asking if Carlos was back together with his ex.
You couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. From the ride to the elevator to the hallway until finally he dragged you into his hotel room, or maybe you dragged him once the door opened, you were both desperate for the other at this point.
It was hard to think rationally. In the back of your head you knew you’d have to leave in the morning before you found yourself clinging to him the way you used to, but you just wanted to enjoy the time you had now. You wanted to hold onto every beautiful sound that came from the back of his throat, each kiss he pressed to your skin, the sound of your name escaping his lips because no one would ever say your name that way he did. 
You loved him.
You loved the way he knew your body better than you did. How he had you desperate for a release in a matter of minutes, and only giving in when you begged for it. You loved the way he stretched you out, needing a second to inhale a quick breath as he slid his cock into you with little warning, deciding you were wet enough already after making you cum once in the bathroom and again on the edge of his bed with just his tongue.
You were used to his size, you had spent enough time in bed with him to know what to expect tonight but after four months your mouth still fell open and he swallowed all of your moans by pressing his lips to yours and taking all of your air out of your lungs.
Carlos wasn’t patient. Why would he be? After months without you he didn’t feel the need to wait. He found a steady pace but within minutes he had picked up his speed and hiked one of your legs up around his waist. 
That position turned into another which turned into a third and at one point during the night Carlos had you sit on top of him, staring at your own reflection in the mirror as you bounced on his cock, listening to his encouraging words and his praise while his fingers made for a beautiful necklace on your throat.
He cherished you, treating you like royalty on his sheets as you both carried the same thought, both of you knowing that you wouldn’t stay past the morning. As much as you wanted to forget that you broke up with him and as much as he wanted to pretend that you were still his, there was no denying your relationship was over. 
You loved each other, but that wasn’t enough to make up for the distance and the lost time during races and the anxiety of not being able to come home to each other at the end of the day. You loved each other, truly, but it was never enough.
Which was why when morning came, you climbed out of bed, careful not to disturb him after getting very minimal hours of sleep. You slid on the clothes you had discarded all over his room and decided that leaving without a second look would be easiest.
You had just cracked the door open when Carlos stirred in the blankets behind you. You had no choice but to turn around, to look at what you were walking away from for the second time.
He sat up in bed, the sheets draped over his lower half and his hair unruly and sexy and almost enough to make you crawl right back in next to him. 
He saw that you had redressed yourself, made yourself as presentable as you could wearing the clothes from last night. He didn’t have to ask where you were going, he just nodded to himself and let out a breath of acceptance.
You were never going to stay.
“I’m sorry,” you said, but those two little words were not the words he was hoping to hear during his short time with you. 
“No you’re not,” Carlos shook his head. He looked away from you for a second, his tongue poking out to moisten his lips. He was asking himself if last night was a mistake. It probably was.
“I don’t want to have this conversation again.”
“You’re leaving because it’s easier to walk away than to fight for what you really want.”
“I’m leaving because it’s what’s best for both of us, Carlos.” You sighed, leaning against the frame of the bedroom door. “I can’t live the life you want me to live and I’m not going to ask you to give anything up for me. We’re at a crossroad here.”
Carlos dragged his line of sight back towards you, “Even though I love you? That doesn’t make any difference?”
It makes things harder. 
You shook your head, repeating that you were sorry one more time and letting the last image of Carlos be of him dropping his head back down to the pillow before you turned around and walked out of his life once again.
August 17 2023
You practically ran to the receptionist, slamming your hands against the desk, “Carlos Sainz Jr., is he- is he here? What room is he in? Is he okay? God please tell me he’s okay-”
“Ma’am, I need you to take a breath,” the nurse was calm, she had been through this hundreds of times. Dealing with the frantic loved ones of a patient. She stood up, hand outstretched to rest over yours as she pushed the box of tissues closer to you. You grabbed one and dabbed the corner of your eyes, having been imagining the worst the entire drive over and unable to stop crying.
You didn’t even have time to question why you were still his emergency contact. You had no idea how your name and number came up in the conversation and it pained you to think that when the paramedics brought him to the hospital, the only phone number he could think to mutter was yours.
“Is he okay?” You repeated after a deep inhale. “I need to know he’s okay. The lady on the phone earlier wouldn’t tell me anything, she just said there was an accident.”
“Carlos Sainz?” The nurse asked, looking at her screen as she sat back on down. She typed on the keyboard, muttering a few things to herself until his file popped up. “He’s undergoing surgery right now, should be done soon though.”
“Surgery for what?” You asked, desperate to get information. “Is he going to be okay? He’s a racecar driver, can he still drive? Is it life threatening-”
The nurse seemed to crack a smile, “I’m familiar with his occupation, Miss. Unfortunately I am not able to give you any more information on his condition.”
You couldn’t tell if the whole confidentiality act was because of his fame or because she really had no idea how he was doing. Regardless, the not knowing stressed you out beyond relief and you tried for a few more minutes, pestering for answers, until finally she told you that the only option for you was to sit and wait.
So you did. Foot tapping against the tiled floor. You thought about calling his parents or his sister but last you saw from social media, his sister was somewhere in Greece and you had absolutely no way of contacting his parents as you weren’t with Carlos long enough to get their contact information. 
It was just you in the hospital waiting room, nervously watching the minute hand on the clock go around way too damn slow. Every time a doctor or another nurse entered the room, your heart dropped in anticipation, but none of them were there to keep you informed.
Twenty minutes went by with no news, and in hindsight, that really wasn’t that long of a waiting period. But it felt like an eternity, not knowing. Left drawing your own conclusions, your own terrible scenarios. 
When a doctor did finally emerge from the swinging doors, he stared down at his clipboard before approaching the nurse behind the reception desk. You watched them interact, of course you did, you needed to know if he was Carlos’ doctor.
When he walked over to you, a tight smile on his lips, you stood up instantly.
“You must be here for Carlos,” he said, holding out his hand for you to shake with not nearly enough strength you wished you had. “I’m Dr. Alejo.”
“Hi,” You tried to glance at the clipboard tucked under his arm but you wouldn’t understand anything anyway. “Is he-”
Dr. Alejo nodded and you felt as though you could breathe when his smile grew even just the slightest bit. 
“He’s fine,” He assured you. “A few broken ribs that will heal on their own, a fracture of his left wrist that required surgery and some severe bruising along his abdomen, but no internal bleeding to be concerned about. He’s okay.” Dr. Alejo scratched his jaw, “Might not be able to finish the season, but I think he’s just happy to be able to walk away from this accident.”
He nodded his head towards the doors that separated the patients from the waiting room, leading you through them and down the hall as he flipped through the papers on the clipboard. 
“It was a car accident?” You asked. “How? What even happened?” It was hard to believe that a professional racing driver would get into something so mundane as a car accident. During the break of the Formula 1 season.
“I believe the other driver was distracted,” Dr. Alejo answered. “I don’t have much more information than that as he wasn’t my patient, but he’s also okay. I think still in surgery, but both drivers are extremely fortunate in this scenario.”
He stopped in front of a room where the door was slightly ajar. Carlos’ name was written on the board outside of it and you asked for permission before going inside. The doctor nodded and allowed you in by yourself, instructing you to be gentle as he had just come from surgery.
You walked in, not prepared for the sight of Carlos on the bed with IV tubes sticking out of his wrist. His entire rib cage and abdomen was bandaged up and you could see hints of bruising on his legs and arms, aside from where the cast on his left wrist was covering them. There were minor marks on his face as well, cuts from the broken windshield, more bruising, everything that made you ache for him.
His eyes were closed so he didn’t see you slowly make your way to his bedside, sitting on the side that seemed to have less injury. You scanned over him, taking in the damages to his body and you didn’t think twice before raising your hand to brush a few strands of hair off his forehead. 
You hadn’t seen him in a few months, not since you left his hotel room. 
Part of you expected that you’d run into each again, you’d always been drawn to Carlos, but you never would have imagined this. 
You didn’t even know he was home.
Hesitantly, you took his hand in yours, thumb tracing over the few inches of skin that weren’t littered with dark bruises. You felt his fingers twitch in your grasp and you glanced up in time to see his eyelids flutter open.
“Hi,” you whispered, expecting to have to explain yourself. Carlos most definitely did not expect to get into any sort of accident today, let alone see his ex-girlfriend who walked out on him twice. Obviously there was some explaining to do.
But he only turned his palm upwards to interlock your fingers together, careful of the IV tubing. He tried to shift on the bed, only to grimace in pain and you inhaled a breath, worried for him.
“Just-” you swallowed, fighting the urge to put your hand to his chest like you would normally do if you just wanted him to sit. “Just take it easy, okay?”
Carlos nodded, glancing down at your hands and then at the cast on his wrist and then sighing with deep despair as he took in the bandages wrapped around his body. 
“Not like I had a shot at the championship anyway,” he joked, already thinking about the last half of the season. 
You didn’t want to laugh. Nothing about him sitting in a hospital bed was funny, but it was no surprise he was thinking about Formula 1. He was a driver, racing was in his blood. 
So you just cracked a hint of a smile and tried to change the topic to something else, something more pressing.
“I didn’t know you were back in Madrid.”
Carlos paused, “I just got in today.”
Your brows pinched together, “What do you mean? Didn’t your break start two weeks ago?”
“I was in Italy, for a bit,” he told you, his thumb brushing over yours. “But I didn’t want to be there. All I wanted was to come home. All I wanted was to see you.”
Your heart sank deep into your chest, “Don’t tell me you got into a car accident when you were on the way to my place.”
“Then I won’t tell you.”
“Carlos,” You wanted to scold him, really. You had broken up, he didn’t need to come see you. If he had just stayed in Italy, if he hadn’t decided he needed to see you, he’d be fine and not laying with limited motion in a hospital bed. You were the reason he ended up here.
He always said you’d be the death of him.
“I love you,” Carlos said, sounding more sure of his own words than he ever had before. “I love you, and I don’t care if you walk out on me every time I say it because I’m just going to follow you. I made a mistake the first time, letting you leave. I made it again in Barcelona and I’m not doing that anymore, I’m not going anywhere, hermosa and if I do, I’ll always come home to you.” 
You had thought you were all cried out, having tears stream down your face the entire drive to the hospital as you thought about your relationship with Carlos. The good, the bad, everything in between. You cried thinking you’d never get a chance to create another memory with him. You were distraught, wanting to scream into the abyss because even if you weren’t with Carlos, you couldn’t imagine a life without him.
You loved him.
You always had. You always will.
And you weren’t going to go another second with him thinking his feelings weren’t reciprocated. 
A single tear fell down your cheek as you locked eyes with him, the only person in your life you would ever give your heart to and know, without doubt, that he would give his back in return.
“I love you,” you finally told him, the biggest weight lifted off your chest, one that had been dragging you down for months. “I love you, Carlos, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I love you when I knew I did. I'm sorry it took this for me to tell you. I'm so sorry, I love you, I love you-”
You moved closer to him, dropping your head to rest against his after you kissed his temple, quietly repeating that you loved him over and over again. You placed your hand against his cheek, holding Carlos against you and he covered your hand with his, not wanting to let go.
He’d let you go one two many times and he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.
And you wouldn’t give him a reason to. 
2K notes · View notes