#okay this one was a little ridiculous

[airas-story]

Tony - "I like my men tall, dark and handsome"

Or

Stephen - "I thought you liked your men tall, dark and handsome?"

Tony dropped a large binder on the table, glaring at it as he sat down.

Stephen eyed it, but didn’t comment as he flipped a page in his book, resuming his read.

A grumble pulled him out of his reading ten minutes later. Tony had opened the binder and was glaring down at a resume of some sort.

“What are the applications for?” 

Tony let out a low groan. “They’re not… It’s ridiculous.”

Stephen raised an eyebrow in expectation.

Tony caved. “Pepper thinks everything can be solved with the right paperwork.” Tony gestured at the binder. “Including my chronically single status.”

Stephen blinked as he took in the words. “Those are applications to be your boyfriend?” He snagged the binder, ignoring Tony’s protests. He flipped through the pages, taking in the different pictures and skimming through the date-me qualifications. Handwritten notes in Pepper’s handwriting rated each of them. “Should I be offended Pepper didn’t ask me to fill out an application?”

“Be grateful.”

Except now Stephen was bothered. “Does she not think I’d be a good boyfriend for you?”

“You don’t want to be my boyfriend,” Tony pointed out.

“Says who?” Stephen asked. “I’d be better than anyone in this binder.” He paused as he landed on Rogers’ application, rated 9/10. He looked up. “I thought you liked your men tall, dark, and handsome?”

“I do; that’s not—”

Stephen shut the binder. “Give me an application.”

“I— What?”

“To be your boyfriend. I need to fill one out.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No,” Stephen said. He found an empty application at the back of the binder. “I assume the interview process is with Pepper?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Tony muttered. “But yes.”

“Good, I expect I’ll be your boyfriend by the end of the month, then.”

“Ridiculous,” Tony repeated, but he sounded pleased.

[supertaliart]

A continuation of my previous Skywalker Twins comic - feat Yoda part 3

[egophiliac]

WHO IS THIS PINK HAIR GENTLEMAN YOU JUST POSTED? HES SO PRETTY???

he's Hayate from Ride Kamens! 🦩 he is my bird son a very silly guy who's part of a superhero (well...hero-ish) group trying to take down a cult, although his real passion is lattes. also, he is very pink!

(the fancy outfit was just for a game event, alas, although I spent way too much time grinding to get the pink variant so now it is mine forever, mwahaha. >:)

[front-facing-pokemon]

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Is there an existing genre that contains both heavy angst and ridiculous comedy? Because whatever genre that is called, I’m gonna need its tag name soon 🥸😂

[gregoftom]

what do you mean you don’t think you’re gonna be buried at my side

[bruhstation]

the journey of gordon juniperus gresley (and still ongoing)

[zeb-z]

Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.

So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.

I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.

[shhh-secret-time]

No, see, because, like, you fucked up. Now you have to write that. I need that. I need the Star Park AU.

Below I will present my case:

1) That name is so freaking cute and I love it

2) Your tags made me fall in love with it

3) I know you have more ideas in that beautiful brain of yours

4) I really want it.

Please see points 1 - 4 if you have any questions.

Aafjdjakak Dude?! I'm cackling!

Fuck it we ball. Please look forward to it I guess.

I'll throw more in the tags!

[malachitezmeyka]

Why Kuviren and Startrix are literally the same ship in different fonts: a brief exploration bc I'm once again bored while staying at my grandma's

(Alternatively: Are you seriously comparing the complex and borderline toxic character development arc chock full of trauma and healing that is Kuviren to a colourful pony show meant for 7 year olds? Yes, yes I am)

Let's play a game. I'm going to describe the characters in a ship and you'll have to guess which ship I'm talking about:

On one hand you have the ex-dictator who took her childhood trauma and turned it into a political ideation. Absolutely convinced she's doing the right thing and that anyone who opposes her should be crushed. Repressing all feelings to the max. At the culmination of her arc she near damn tears the whole fucking world apart before being saved by the main character after a tearful discussion of said childhood trauma that was turned into a political ideation.

On the other you have an absolute cringefail girlfailure. Feels like she's the worst so always acts like she's the best and will continue walking around with an artificially inflated ego until it literally blows up in her face. So caught up in her own goals and issues she doesn't realise she's hurting the people who care about her. Reckless to a fault and very quick to make decisions on a whim with no regard for possible consequences.

Both of them are absolute menaces to society who absolutely should not have been allowed to meet because the two of them as a duo can and will destroy the world if they so choose. And yet, they're both each other's first real friend and somehow, them being together balances each of them out. They're both key elements to the other's road to redemption. They always stick together despite countless arguments in which they can seriously hurt each other, because ultimately they're better together and are both very, very glad they've met.

If you can't figure out whether I'm talking about Kuviren or Startrix it's because that was a trick question, all of those things apply to both ships. Which just proves that I have not matured emotionally at all since I was 10 and watched Season 6 of MLP while it was airing, and my taste in ships will simply never change

Thank you for your attention

[meownotgood]

chapter 1 + chapter 2... halfway to 60k

[scarycranegame]

listen i'd go skinny-dipping in the dead of winter before i ever even consider becoming an anti but sometimes the proship community makes me sigh very deeply and take a very long and exaggerated sip from whatever alcoholic beverage i have on hand at the time

[hearts401]

Looking at a character like "I understand why you did that but it was such a dick move and you knew better."

[notjanine]

i’m so in love and so lucky i’m…

[comic-sans-chan]

"...and it isn't as if I don't enjoy going to the holosuites with Garak. He knows that I value our time together. I just don't understand it. It isn't as if he cares a wit for historical Earth battles, anyway, and I am sorry for it, but I just don't want to act out scenes from The Neverending Bloody Self-Flaggelation in the Name of the State..."

Miles was listening. He was. He was nodding and maintaining eye contact like a good friend, but it was never easy when Julian got like this.

Fact was, Julian had two needs that it was absolutely critical to keep fulfilled, and those were: getting drunk and acting the ass, and being an absolute arrogant intellectual nit about something or other. He liked to run his mouth and Miles was more than happy to cede the honor of listening to it to Garak.

But, sometimes, Garak would get busy, or Miles would get stuck with Julian on a mission that took just a little too long, or the two of them would have an actual fight and stop speaking for a while. Now was one of the latter times, and it was Garak's damned fault. For a Cardie, he could be a right princess sometimes, and Miles was cursing him because now he was stuck having to listen to all of the excess energy and madness that was usually saved up for lunch.

"He actually said that I preferred your company over his," Julian was saying, and Miles had to hide his snort in his ale. "It doesn't make any sense! I mean, I suppose... I do prefer our own excursions on a regular night, but that's only because holosuites with Garak always tend to get a bit... intense. You know."

That tripped Miles up for a second. "Intense?" Oh. "You mean because he's Cardassian?"

Julian had the nerve to roll his eyes at him. Nit. The man huffed, as if his meaning were obvious, and waved his hand impatiently. "No! You know, man! Garak. With the--the big blue eyes, and the pronounced scales, and the damn..." He made a truly incomprehensible motion with both hands, miming a shape in the air.

What. Miles had to blink and set his glass down. "Julian."

He was looking agitated, nearly jumping out of his skin. "His chest, man! His ass! Surely you've noticed!"

No! God no! "No, I have not noticed!"

"Well, I don't know how you've managed it! With the way he goes out of his way to announce them! The man's a tailor, for God's sake, he knows how he's dressing himself and then he has the nerve--Yes! I will admit it, Miles, we have a much better time in the suites, you and I, and it's because of this." He stabbed his finger down into the table with a force that made their drinks jump. "With Garak, there's this added layer to the whole thing with those blasted costumes and the pretty smiles and the constant arguing and... It's just a little much for a game I play to relax in the evenings! Wouldn't you say?"

Miles was going to kill Garak for doing this to him. In knocking back the last few gulps of his pint, he managed to find the fortitude to say, "Aye, Julian, I'd say."

Julian sighed with the relief of solidarity and fell back in his seat.