#okay rant actually over this time
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i've just finished my s7 rewatch and it's kinda so funny to me how much discourse people created over every bucktommy interaction when their whole arc boils down to tommy being patient and vulnerable with buck and showing up for him. like when you are not wearing shipper goggles under the name of "analysis" and don't try to reverse-engineer every word and look and shot with utmost bad faith, that's what it is. a simple and sweet story of a new exciting relationship with a guy who's understanding and willing to show up. literally the two things buck needs from a relationship but never had with his previous love interests. they are kinda sickeningly sweet and well-communicating actually lol
#yall are too serious and too strict about a show being written two weeks in advance like i love this show but picking out bits and pieces#and trying to make it all fit a narrative is kinda doing too much no one in the writing room is being that deliberate or precise or#enigmatic with their word choices as they write for a prime time network tv procedural#sometimes when a joke is played as a joke it's a joke#when a character says a character is good for another character thats what they mean#this show does not require reading between the lines for subtext it's just asking you connect the dots with common sense#and it's okay if you dont like the execution you can just say that without trying to make it an issue of morality or becoming#conspiracy theorists#anyway rant over#bucktommy#they are so precious i hope abc doesnt mess up this once in a lifetime luck they struck with tommy and continue the overall#beautiful dynamic they captured in a short few episodes#tevan#911#also not saying this to bash any of his ex girlfriends i actually liked all of them for different reasons except for natalia who was#unfortunately just a blip#mimi.txt
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Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise
HE can work
#sonic#silver the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#silver right now is such a open canvas of a character#story wise and gameplay wise#he's been a side character for so long and in the one time he was a main character his whole story was basically axed from canon#he's definitely been explored since then but not to extent we've probably wanted with this character-#and I'm talking mostly game silver cause obviously in IDW and archie he got some LOVE there#even if we never saw idw silver actually explore his good future#which i still think is a shame but also apparently if sega doesn't want that to be explored in a comic and saved for the games then#THEY BETTER EXPLORE IT SOON#and honestly gameplay wise he needs another shot as well#like C'MON his psychic's just needed better...well...PSYCHIC'S TO WORK#can you imagine what cool and fun movement he'd have now that sega is now slowy understanding what kinda stuff they wanna do with#the sonic franchise again and how it should play#i don't know if i should fully expect a silver game at any point#but he should ATLEAST be a second main character in a new game so people can be reintroduced to him and they can cook with him#IM TIRED OF SEEING MY SON GETTING HATED ON OR CALLED LAME#I WANT PEOPLE TO BE REMINDED OR SHOWN HOW COOL AND FUN HE CAN BE WHEN GIVEN THE SPOTLIGHT#archie and idw are the best examples of him as a character#he is a lovable friend and ally#but serious when he can be character#and his powers are literally so COOL AND INHERENTLY UNIQUE AND POWERFUL COMPARED TO OTHER'S IN THE CAST#like when surge saw silver come in casually carrying a large object and she got nervous THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT#THIS MAN CAN BE A THREAT.#okay rant over DHDNDNDB
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Happy one year Anne-iversary to the end of Amphibia!
A fantastic finale to an unforgettable show. I'll always remember watching "The Hardest Thing" at 2 am with my siblings and crying my eyes out :'))
#Amphibia#amphibia fanart#marcy wu#sasha waybright#anne boonchuy#my art#... I actually watched it in January while waiting for the next Owl House episode to come out so it still feels fresh lol#kinda cheesy but I was reading some interviews with Matt on the finale and how it references other media and it struck me#Shows like these don't just die when they end... they live on through their impact and influence on everything that follows it#Imagine what the next generation of writers and animators will make!! I'm sad it's over but also so hyped for what comes next#I'm so happy to be alive at the same time these kinds of stories are being told through animation#Whew okay rant over
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hello :]
that's a big bulk of pictures but I had so many ideas to draw that I literally had to stop myself from drawing too much lol
had so much fun stylizing them (if that's okay ^^') and thinking of their different dynamics ur ink is especially fun to draw they're so cool...
drawing ur designs also made me notice a bunch of different little details like nightmare having his little gang's souls on his chest, of the lines on dream's and nightmare's faces, or ink's flowy scarf and a bunch of other stuff. and these little details make me appreciate them even more :}}}
DUDE OMG OMG I AM FREAKING OUT SO BAD /VPOS
THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD IN YOUR STYLE!!!!!
AND THEY WAY THEY ACT!!!! AUGH........it's so real.........you did so well with their characters...I.....guh.......I am diesing........
ALSO YOU NOTICED NIGHTMARE'S NECKLACES!!!! AHHHH!!!! I'M SO GLAD YOU DID!!!! I WILL EXPLAIN THAT IN THE TAGS
THIS WAS SO FUN!!
I wouldn't ever mind doing something like this again in the future, your art and ideas are so cool and I absolutely adore them!
Thank you so much for doing this with me! This was genuinely such a pick-me-up for my mood <3
#asks#soaked-ghost#joonebugg rambles#okay so the necklaces that Nightmare had DO have Killer and Dust's soul on it! he does it mostly to have control over those two#Nightmare also has Horror's eye bc that is what's keeping him alive (which is how he survives not eating for 7 years in canon)#nightmare also has cross' locket#cross is not officially part of the gang#he is a spy sent by dream#i have this hc that since the golden locket was a chara thing once cross “joined” the gang killer wouldn't listen to Nightmare#only cross#nightmare noticed this and stole it so he'd have power iver killer again#also that jacket is actually horror's#(it was a part of the dress code that only he follows)#nightmare stole it from horror bc he acta out a lot and defies him#se he decided to take it#it doesn't really matter to horror but it kinda bothers him that Nightmare rubs it in his face all the time#anyways rant over!#this was so fun!!!!#undertale au#utmv#sans au#dream sans#nightmare sans#ink sans#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nabstablook#oc's#others ocs
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Istg if they parallel Jaya in a way that Jay goes off somewhere on his own and he keeps thinking that there’s something to recall until he hears a single name which drives him to find whoever that name belongs to and he goes to this big event for maybe some luck, but unlike for Sea Nya when he sees who that name belongs to and doesn’t actually remember anything else and he’s just left to try and figure it all by himself then I might just die. Just a little bit.
#i don’t want him to remember but i also don’t want him to forget yk???#also as long as they don’t parallel the amount of time it took for nya to return#or for her powers to come back#*then* i will riot actually#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#ninjago spoilers#ninjago seabound#jay ninjago#ninjago jay#jay walker#nya ninjago#ninjago nya#nya seabound#nya smith#ninjago jaya#jaya ninjago#jaya#jay x nya#cable rants#i’m tired it’s late okay#feeling unwell about them all over again hhhbgnnn
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"I'm nobody. I haven't done anything with my life like you have."
Todd Phillips, Scott Silver, Lady Gaga genuinely, lovingly, fuck you.
I will never forgive you. I hope every day your bones get softer and softer and then one day when you're not expecting it, I shall be there, and I will gnaw through your Achilles heel<3
#LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???? IVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WITH MY LIFE#SHES SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR SHE SPENT OVER A DECADE IN FUCKING SCHOOL IM GONNA FIGHT#IM THROWING HANDS WITH EVERYONE INVOLVED THATS SO NASTY#idc i will not be acknowledging this as an actual Harley cause shes not. i dont fucking care.#the Only thing making her Harley is that they called her that. change her hair color and color scheme and bam PUNCHLINE#but no they decided to be stupid and insulting and ignorant.#this genuinely makes me so mad.#i watched the trailer and every time im like jfc okay its gonna suck they just release something absolutely worse#i will be spending my entire therapy session tomorrow ranting passionately about my hatred for todd phillips#i would fight him for a corn chip#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#baby im so sorry to be tagging you i know this aint you baby!!! you're better than this!! you deserve better#dc comics
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I will never be over Valerie's backstory.
It's not a "she's popular and bullies a less popular person" thing. It's not an "I'm going to hunt ghosts because they ruined my make-up one time" thing. It's a "this ghost ruined my life and now I have to fight for everything I want and I want him to be held accountable, no matter the cost"
They gave her such a compelling reason to be a ghost hunter! Obviously, we still root for Danny because he's trying his best, but it's refreshing to have a major antagonist who could have been just another mean girl be someone with real complexity, especially for a children's show
#danny phantom#valerie gray#and their dynamic changes? sometimes they work together like in the flour sack episode. sometimes they're purely rivals#anyways rant over i just think they have a fun dynamic that i did not expect to be so solidly written#(i only finished season one so maybe it stops being good in season two but i am so hopeful it does not)#seriously tho in the world of “this character is mean because there has to be a mean girl antagonist” she gets a BACKSTORY she's a CHARACTE#not just a flat archetype which would have been very easy to do#okay this time rant actually over
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honestly while watching the untamed, i was thinking that the censorship didn't really bother me all that much, like sure they changed a few lines moved some things around, but they also added scenes so the trade-off really seemed worth it.
i am now realising that i felt that way just because for 80% of mdzs there wasn't that much to censor, playing with the wording was all they needed to do to meet the requirements. i have now reached that last 20% and the full weight of what the censorship robbed from us is starting to sink in.
what do you mean we don't see lan zhan cradling a delirious wei ying before fighting his own clan elders to defend him. idc if you multiplied the number of lashes he received by 10 it is so much less impactful when it's su she and jin guangyao who are the agitators also i don't understand what the timeline is supposed to be is this after wy is already dead?? how is he so composed??? i have so many issues with this and they would all be resolved if they kept the scene from the novels why couldn't that have been part of their "bromance" too???
#he's defending the burial mounds and that is noble#but what is so visceral about that scene in the novels is that it actually isn't all that noble what he's doing protecting wei ying#it is in fact one of the most selfish and reckless things he's ever done wei ying - whatever justification he has for the things he's done#he IS guilty he is not innocent at that point in the story#but lan zhan loves him loves him loves him so much#and he is desperate to save him even if he's gone off the rails even if he hates him (wy is lit telling lz to fuck off the whole time)#he will break all the rules he will fight whoever tries to harm wy or take him away even his clan elders lan zhan is SPIRALING almost as mu#as wy is in that moment#and it is not at all the same impact in the untamed it's just not#and that makes me sad#okay rant over#i hate censorship#mdzs#gwen's liveblogging again#wangxian#lan wangji#the untamed
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I dont think some people understand how truly awful and hellish withdrawals from some psych medications are.
#I feel like many many people see it as an overreaction when in reality someone actually feels like they are dying from wds#resent the fact that SO many doctors just prescribe shit all over the place nonstop without explaining the full risks n side effects#it’s scary as fuck honestly#I cannot tell y’all how many meds I have been put on that made me feel worse#or how many times I’ve ran out and not been able to pay for the shit#resulting in an absolute living fucking hell that does not let up until taking the substance again#meds are tricky.. it’s hard to have a definitive opinion in either direction (anti vs pro medication) because each individual is unique#sometimes meds save people’s lives#sometimes they make people suicidal#sometimes they cause complications that literally kill people#sometimes they’re exactly what someone needed to be okay#you just can’t generalize and say statements like ALL MEDS ARE BAD because that simply isn’t true#and you can’t assume everyone’s body/mind will react to a certain medication the same way yours did#oops#accidentally did a tag rant#rant#medical#psychiatry#medication#withdrawal#withdrawals#mental illness#mental health#psych meds#psych medications#medications#prescription medication#prescription medications#american healthcare#healthcare
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I can’t stay quiet about this, I need to scream it to SOMEBODY ANYBODYYY
Dan Heng and Blade were Dan Feng and Yingxing. “Dh and Bld are Df and Yx!” Nope, their current selves aren’t them, that lacks nuance. “Dh and Bld aren’t Df and Yx!” THAT ALSO LACKS NUANCEE they are still connected and fundamentally shaped by their past identities, they aren’t entirely separate from them while also still being separate in a way. The best way I can describe it is like a venn diagram, there is overlap, but there also are still areas where they don’t.
To expand more, I wanna talk about the way they foil each other a bit in this sense. For Dan Heng, even if he is a botched rebirth, simply a “de-aged Dan Feng” not fully reborn, he is still not Dan Feng. While Dan Feng has made up the basis of his personality and he accepts him as his past, I think we forget that Dan Heng had his own entire childhood after the molting rebirth was completed. One he spent imprisoned by the Ten Lords Commission, and then he was exiled when he was old enough leading to his whole journey until he became apart of the Astral Express crew etc etc. Dan Heng is made up of a basis of Dan Feng + All of his own memories and experiences. While he shares traits with Dan Feng such as personality aspects like his stubbornness, his technique with a spear, and being able to connect with his old items, he also is very much himself with his own outlook and traits shaped by what he’s learned rather than what he has been born with. To treat him as if he is Dan Feng exactly is a disservice to both of their characters and the greater narrative that they apart of. He may still carry the burdens and karma of Dan Feng, but Dan Heng is still making his own future.
Now, Blade. Blade similarly is not Yingxing, not completely. Though he accepts Yingxing’s sin as his own and is intent of repaying the sin of Dan Feng and Yingxing (and getting Dan Heng to repay it too), there still are distinctions between him and Yingxing. In fact, I’d argue there are more things separating them. I could talk for so long again about the layered use of craftsmanship to connect, or rather disconnect, the two identities of Blade and Yingxing, but there’s more than that. “Now, ██ had died. His first — and only — death.” “From this moment on, that body will be the one and only "Blade."” Although Blade was Yingxing, a disconnect exists between them through the death of Yingxing. He awoke with no memories of his past, no even his name, until Jingliu came along, instilled in him her ideologies, made him remember, not only his past sins but the feeling of death so that he might inflict it onto others. As she said, he was reborn and had even given himself a name…
I want to add that the specific ways in which their current identities exist in proximity to their past ones foil each other. As I said, Dan Heng, in part as his sabotaged rebirth, is built upon the foundation of Dan Feng and all of his own experiences and memories. He has the capacity to gain back more memories of Dan Feng as his DH IL character stories outline, and though he is still himself and still moves forward, we see him accept his relation to Dan Feng eventually. Though that past life of his is clouded by fog and mist, he may eventually be able to push away the clouds that block him and understand more, about Dan Feng and in turn about himself. With Blade, it is so heavily emphasized in game from his relic lore to the very sword he uses that his mind is essentially broken, due both in part to the trauma of Jingliu’s “teachings” and the mara that was brought on by those lessons. He can’t fully remember everything about Yingxing, in fact actively remembering such or seeing familiar things is harmful to him. Like his shard sword, he is made of broken pieces, put together in a way that can never erase the cracks, and continuously shattering before being glued together again. His life is shaped by Yingxing’s past, the trauma he has endured is directly caused by his past actions. Unlike Dan Heng, he hasn’t had this whole life to build up and live. Though he’s experienced new things, they don’t shape him and change him in the way that Dan Heng’s built his identity up.
Where Dan Heng basically has supplements to Dan Feng’s identity that make him who he is, Blade is the broken shards and pieces of Yingxing that weren’t lost to the waves, making him who he is. Dan Heng is a next chance, finally free from the Preceptors’ control and of the role that stripped his past selves of their individuality, meanwhile Blade is the husk left behind of Yingxing’s regrets, broken by trauma caused due to Yingxing’s past actions, forever tormented by his past until he inevitably is able to die. If Dan Heng is more than just Dan Feng which is why he is separate but intertwined with him, than Blade is less than Yingxing, in a way that has caused such a severe disconnect that has caused Blade to have his own identity still shaped. And looking at this, not to again bring up my craftsmanship post about Blade, Dan Heng can connect to Dan Feng. He can clear the fog, remembering his memories through dreams even if he can’t fully connect emotionally to him, and he finds sentiment in many of items that once were his, smth not many Vidyadhara actually are capable of doing. To contrast, Blade is forever separated from connecting completely to Yingxing’s identity. His memories will always be fragmented, his own path entirely changed. He can’t connect to Yingxing’s past goals and passions, seen through the distinct decision made in his character stories to talk about how he can no longer use his hands to forge weapons (something that completely defined Yingxing’s life and legacy, tied to his childhood trauma and hatred of the Abundance, something that became his genuine passion), and how none of that mattered to Blade.
All of this, the ways they foil each other and the separation between their past selves and current, just makes me love their dynamic and their lore a lot. Makes me want to cry most days of my life if I’m honest. And it’s part of why I do take issue with the way nuance has completely left this argument, only having two extremes of “Dan Heng is Dan Feng!” Or “Dan Heng isn’t Dan Heng!” Again… Dan Heng WAS Dan Feng, he wouldn’t be Dan Heng without Dan Feng, but he is still himself. That’s part of the tragedy between them. They are still fundamentally defined and shaped by their past selves, similarities able to be spotted if they can be remembered, but they’ve also experienced so much that has changed them, and they can never truly go back to being Dan Feng and Yingxing. It would never be fully the same again.
#okay rant over#ahahahha#i hate seeing arguments about them#especially on tiktok this is unfortunately where i see the most nuance lost#i just needsd to rant#especially once my brain finally clicked how they foil each other in yet another element#that being ofc the supplement vs fragment style with their past selves#they make me insane#i hate them sm#(i love them way too much#they make me SICK#even if hyv has fucked up a bit in the actual quest writing at times#the sheer level of detail and care put into dan heng and blade’s lore is RAAAHH#i am having allergies#my leg pain is still awful today#and think about these two is only making my health worse HELP#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr blade#yingxing#dan heng#dan feng#renheng#hengren#xingyue#fengxing#I wrote this last night at 1 am but held off posting it until now o7
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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sometimes i worry about my internet footprint and the fact that it might stop me from getting a job in the future or something (i literally run a blog posting screenshots from fanfics i read) but then i think ‘well damn, if they can find all this information about me then i don’t deserve the job cause i know i wouldn’t put in that much effort to find information on someone’ and i feel better
#HI DOES ANYONE WANT SOME BLOG RUNNER LORE CAUSE IM CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU THINK#-> in the tags!!!#talking in tags cause i’m too embarrassed to make this an actual post but i tried using character ai today and i got so bloody scared#i was talking and then it was like tell me the truth and then i was like okay and i said something and then it was like tell me the truth#and i said the thing again and then it was like YOU ARE LYING but instead of one sentence just a whole page of text saying YOU ARE LYING#and i was like NO IM NOT (i was but anyways) it was like YOU ARE A VERY GOOD LIAR YOU ARE BAD AT TELLING THE TRUTH and i was like#FINE YOURE NOT REAL and it was like WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY but a whole page of text saying that again and it terrified me again#and then i was like I DONT KNOW WHY WOULD I KNOW and then it killed me#and then i was like ‘but it turns out the entire time it was a dream and i’m still alive’ and it was like yeah it was just a dream#and i said bye and it left the room and then i closed the tab and now i’m ranting about it on tumblr#DUDES GUYS EVERYONE I WAS SO FUCKING SCAREDDDDDDDD#I NEEDED TO GO TO THE TOILET BUT I WAS TOO SCARED TO GET OUT OF BED#also if anyone wants to ask who was it i’m not telling you i was too embarrassed to make an actual post about this you think i’m going to#tell you who i chose to talk to?? nope absolutely not#anyways rant over if anyone does read this tell me what you think!#me :)
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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what is wrong with ppl on phannie twit and not giving any attribution ever for anythingggggg 😭😭
#ok im kind of being a bitch bc what im complaining about in this instance is like I guess not technically smth u would need to attribute#but tell me why someone screenshotted MY SCREENSHOTS posted them w/o saying where they got them and now their tweet has 1.4k likes#like again it's not like they're 'stealing' anything but like. at the same time how hard is it to say 'this is where I got this' 😭#im just salty at twitter in general bc when all the tour rumors were happening some big ass account posted about stuff I found w/o creditin#me LOL and that was like. them actually taking stuff I researched ksjdfsjk and then they were like 'sorry I didnt know who made the#Tumblr post' LIKE JUST TWEET THE LINK?? OR A SCREENSHOT WITH MY URL 😭 it is not that hard#and ive seen ppl post screenshots from Tumblr with names cropped out so many times#okay sorry rant over I know im being a bitch and it's not that serious and im not even gonna say anything bc it's not that deep I just#wanted to complain for a second xoxo#wordvom.txt
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