#okay now we can ball
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jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?
Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan qiren#jin guangshan#I do not know if these two have a ship tag or if anyone has ever entertained the idea of these two kissing before.#Lets call them 'old man 96' for now.#Where the nine represents LQR's honkers and the six represents JGS's hunkers.#with our efforts combines we can make this the new cursed ship.#I am now giving preliminary head space to these two engaging in a relationship and -#HOO BOY. It would be horribly toxic. But like a beautiful mushroom the toxins are part of it's beauty.#They are the most opposite in morals and behaviour one could possibly be.#Okay the thoughts are done cooking.#Lan Qiren is the 'one guy' JGS has been with and it's haunted them both ever since. They refuse to make eye contact in meetings.#What led them both to that situation is for another day. I think I burnt 80% of my braincells thinking about these two kissing.#Thank you again delightful mutual stackedbirds for setting a lovely ball for me to strike down into the earth with.#I hope you enjoy the old men big naturals top and bottom edition. Balanced...as all things should be.
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Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:
#diet culture#diet culture tw#described images#image description in alt#'it's got CHEMICALS in it' and so do you! and me too! IT'S ALL CHEMICALS ALL THE WAY DOWN#instead of running from this world we must learn to embrace it#i'm not particularly angry at people who say this because it makes me think that they're incredibly invested in diet culture...#...i just don't want the whole 'food = bad' or 'bodies = bad' to go unchallenged...#...part of the reason why diet culture seems just as prevalent now (if not moreso) is partially because it isn't really...#...challenged or questioned without provocation. it's just assumed to be correct because it makes you 'feel in control'#when chemicals are bad you can control what chemicals you consume. it's individualistic and places the blame onto you for 'being good'#it places responsibility onto the person in such a way that it becomes impossible to fulfill#it isn't that i'm upset that people want to treat their bodies in a way they think is responsible...#...moreso that the *way* they go about it ensures that they're stuck in a cycle of self-blame and even self-hatred#because the METHOD is ineffective. not the desire to treat your body well#also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it#it looks like a ball that is simultaneously deflated and over-inflated#also their state flag looks silly to me#it looks like the person who was making it fell asleep making it#i'm just clowning on ohio at this point. have never been to ohio but. are you guys okay
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moth-flowers #17
#moth-flowers#my art#comics#autobio comics#Its a little crummy but im glad i made something. and actually posted it!#depression#Our neighbors r pretty cool. talking with the husband makes me happy cos he's just a chill dude and i think he's kinda like me?#Like he was cleaning out his car one time and he said it just takes him longer than most people bc he's kinda slow. and i had a moment of#like. recognition. I get things done but i just take a lot longer than other people and i dont really know why its just how i am#And he's like. a real adult. with a partner and kids and a house and a job. and if he can make it then maybe ill be okay too.#Also I like listening to him talk he has a very interesting cadence and overall soothing voice quality#Also the sleep schedule thing. Right now I've been feeling my best when i take a 2ish hour nap when i get home. I usually dont go to sleep#Until 12pm regardless and good god has the nap been helping me. I feel less like shit and more alert its so great#My dad keeps giving me shit about it. but fuck it we ball
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post exam clarity is hitting me like a truck I feel sick
#why did I. do any of that#I'm never gonna be free now am I#it's okay. im gonna forgive myself and move on.#what's the worst that could happen. I've been the butt of the joke my whole life ive been bullied my whole life#last year of school by every fucking gut ganging up on me in the class#i can deal with whatever comes of this#god...#it's fine. fuck it we ball#this isn't enough to faze me. just another embarrassing story for the roster#it all feels like a fever dream omg i legit can't even remember it it feels like i was watching all that happen to someone else#I'm on break now. finished a year of college. fresh start#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com
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favorite relationship (non romantic or otherwise) in the hp canon? one thing I love about lionheart is Harry and hermione’s friendship - criminally overlooked in the books imo pidgeonholing hermione into only the “nagging mum” role for so much of it ! these two are siblings!
interesting parameters! my favorite non-romantic relationship in canon is ron and harry, actually. i think that hermione has great friendships with both of them, but the sheer intensity of the bond between ron and harry is unmatched anywhere outside romantic pairings in the books. harry latches onto him basically at first sight and imprints like a baby goose, and goes, "excellent, at last, a Friend; i will now spend all of my time and attention on you Forever." what's that? hungry you say? sad you say? i will buy you All The Food. then draco "definitely homeschooled" malfoy rocks up with his hilariously incompetent friend overtures and harry says right that's cool, but you threw shade at ron, so you can fuck right off forever. i've had this weird little ginger in my life for less than a day and if anything happens to him i'd kill myself. bye.
and ron drinks! it! up! because he's never had it! he's never been First for someone before, and he LOVES it! and he responds by becoming an instant ride-or-die for harry. that's not a reading, either, that's straight up text: in book 3, ron says, verbatim, "if you want to kill harry, you'll have to kill me." and he's thirteen!! takes him about five minutes to get there, too — in the ten weeks they've known each other before christmas break, eleven-year-old ron weasley tells his MOM about his new cool friend, and whatever he writes is so glowingly effusive that molly knits harry a goddamn family sweater (if you knit, you Know) without having stone cold met the kid! not to mention — ron (at eleven! eleven years old, ron weasley!) decides to pass up his only chance to see his parents until june, not to mention missing his family christmas, so he can stay at hogwarts and keep harry company! because harry potter will never be lonely if ron weasley can help it!!
basically. ron and harry are the original platonic soulmates. they ARE the catherine-heathcliff "he's more myself than i am" dig-up-his-grave-so-you-can-lie-in-it type of love. they are each other's destiny and each other's choice.
#i have always been surprised that harry/ron isn't a bigger ship#not so much in Classic fandom but nowadays#because their chemistry is so great#ron is the only person who consistently makes harry laugh#harry can get ron to do basically anything just by asking#they are deeply and utterly married#there are MULTIPLE instances in the books where ron's importance to harry is paralleled to others' romantic relationships#not just in the second task#but at the yule ball — harry wants to take *ron* before mcgonagall tells him he needs to take a girl#which is okay whatever these books were written in the nineties sure. but bi!harry has been a popular headcanon for years now#and for some reason that moment never comes up in the evidentiary showings#like... yes we all know harry thinks about sirius being handsome Way Too Much... but he also thinks about ron being tall a LOT#is it my ship? not personally. but do i think it's valid as hell? hell yes.
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(eye brow raise) this was a surprise, and im months late but i need to distract myself from everything else i wanna do (plus the jrwi adhd polls. im in pain currently)
okay so lil note btw is its kinda late, and i am ever so dead brain. oh and also im a couple minutes only into ep 106 (so no spoilers for me but enza being here is a spoiler so if you want no others gooooooo)
ALSO I BARELY HAVE A GRASP ON HOW THE BLACK SEA IS SO IM SORTA PROJECTING ON JAY WHAT ID PROBS BE FEELING
Jay was tired. This place felt too dark, too moist, too dry (how could the ocean be fucking dry?? how could it feel anything but moist??), too loud, too much, too little. Gillion was a little too happy. Gryphon was a little too annoyed. Chip was a little too...Chip. Queen was a little too worried.
"Are you sure your feeling fine Captain?" Queen inquired. "I could-"
"I'm fucking peachy," Jay snarled back. It didn't even occur to Jay how callous she had sounded until Queen had nodded and walked off. Fuck, Jay thought. One more problem to add in.
Yeah, life sucked and Jay wanted out of the dark sea hole, next Riptide adventure ple-
"Jay, your conch's been going off, quick!" Gillion called out, making Jay slightly flinch (why'd she flinch? she's heard him yell before, what the fuck is this place doing to her) as she scrambled to answer. The thing with conch phones is they only get one use. Considering how Gillion never really got calls himself (he'd mostly use it to call Caspian or Edyn before...maybe she wouldn't bring that up), it was the first time someone had contacted them first. Normally it's the other way around.
As she brought the shell to her ear, hoping she wasn't too late, she recognized the instantly. It was Ensa, Jay's inventing buddy and-
"Oh shit, Jay has her girlfriend on the phone!" Chip called out, unknowing that his jokes were truth. God Jay wanted nothing more then to punt that little fucking shit into the black sea where Arlin probably is rotting away and he's just too ignorant to accept it-what. Jay doesn't think like this. God this place was getting to her.
"What's that your murmuring Jay, speak up! Which girlfriend is it?" Chip continued to tease.
"Whoever it is, it's someone I'd have more a chance with then you have with anyone, now fuck off!" Jay stormed off for a second to breath. Unknown to her, Chip and Gill went off to talk. It was important to mention that they had found land in this area, apparently it wasn't all water (woahhhhhhhhhhhh) and there were people down here too. It was a good rest stop, at least to Jay. Then again, anything down here didn't feel good.
"Sorry for the surprise Jay-bird, everything alright? You sound rather..."
"Pissed? Yeah, no, the Black Sea definitely is unexplored for a reason. It just..." Jay sighs. "I'm changing against my will. I'm getting angry at yelling at people without realizing it, my thoughts are more violent and the slightest bit of doubt is twisted and malformed into some shit hole string of hatred."
Ensa listened intently, being silent for a second to process. "...So it sucks."
Jay couldn't help but laugh at the silly joke. Suddenly the black sea felt a bit better. Gillion didn't seem too positive. The looming dread turned to a smaller anxiety. The ick of this place faded slightly with her here, on the phone, calling her.
"Do you want me to come down there?" Another pause. This could have lasted weeks and Jay would have sat there still, contemplating.
"No."
"You were pretty hesitant...sounds like you want me there."
"I do, and that's exactly why you shouldn't come."
"But your mentioning twisting and-"
"I'm not wanting to be contortioned in a way that harms you, and I don't want this place to get you. I can manage, it feels better that your right here with me."
Jay could hear her smile. Goddesses, what Jay wouldn't give for that smile. Like when Aster's warm rays hit her skin, Jay felt her cheeks heat up.
"If you even for a moment change your mind, contact me. We'll get the teleporter running quicker then you'd want to be leaving, which is now I'd guess."
"Okay, yeah, that's great." Jay paused. "I love you so much Ensa. Thank you, for everything." Jay was slightly stunned at her own sentiment, but she didn't question where it came from. This place was the scariest shit Jay had ever seen. And she wasn't even sure how they'd leave, or even leave alive. Yet, on call with Ensa, imagining her standing next to her, holding hands and talking cool gadgets they'd want to try making, it made everything not seem like shit. The world was more then tolerable with Ensa, and maybe after all the nightmares Jay had early on in their adventures, to the real nightmare moments that have happened since, Jay deserved this girl. No, Jay knew, she needed Ensa.
"No problem Jay-bird, I love you too. When your back, I'll probably have something cool to show you. Or something you could help me make. Whatever, just, don't fucking die okay? Promise me. I know those other 2 can get carried in a current, and you can sometimes go along with it too much, so just...if they're being stupid, remember this fucking promise. If you die, I will grab your body and put your soul into a robot just so I can tell you how stupid it was that you died...not really. I miss you too much. I guess cramping myself in a work room is twisting me too, haha." Jay let her talk around. "Okay, but promise me, I'm not kidding about that. Jay-bird, promise me you'll return to the great seas of Mana alive and intact."
"I can't promise I'll ever not be stupid, I can promise that when we're out, we'll go on a special date, one with inventing and doing all sorts of shit. I'll find a way to tell my family, my sea family, about us, one that won't feel super awkward. I won't die on you, that's my oath to you as Jay Ferin and as your love."
Jay wanted the call to last forever, to never return to the Black Sea and it's horrors. She couldn't find the words now, but Jay had so much to say to Ensa. So, she did as her sister did years ago, this time with confidence she'll come back to who she's left behind. She forced herself away from the conch and as though she had to cast command on herself, her thumb rigidly moved over to the end call button.
"See you soon." Beep.
im gonna be really honest rn
navyseal is off-limits pistolwhip is off-limits all the others are off limits because ENSA
ourhghhhghghh jay needs to kiss her right now wouruhougroh
sure the others are nice and all but ensa shes so perfect for jay smh my head i dont see enough art of them
#THIS TOOK SOO LONG OH MY FUCKING GOD#but its here#the rambler.#the bright smoothie of words#im actually at ep 109 at the completion of this so lets goooooo#jrwi women in STEM#clockwork rivals#jrwi birdbolt#jrwi clockwork rivals#jrwi ensa#i spell her name with a z because i like it fuck hang on#okay now we can ball#jrwi jay#jay ferin#jrwi spoilers#jrwi riptide spoilers#okay we done with tags and can finnaly post after fucking MONTHS of procastination and work lmao
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Gaaahh I saw TPOT 12 was released yesterday at 1 AM *right as I was going to sleep* 😭
I drew this silly art on my phone in like an hour lol. Golf Ball literally wasn't in TPOT 11 but she's my favorite character so I'm legally obligated to add her in every anticipation art I do. 8-Ball was, in fact, in TPOT 11 though (he and Dora had a weirdly cute friendship 🥹) and he and Golf Ball had such beef in BFB it's actually hilarious.
TPOT 12 is titled "What's Up Bell's String?" so the background circle is Bell-colored (I'm fairly sure) and wowow look it has a string at the top!!
Ok sorry, it's time for me to stop yapping and actually watch the episode haha.
#my art#my bfdi art#my bfdi anticipation art#golf ball bfdi#bfdi#8-ball bfdi#one algebrarian#one bfdi#two algebrarian#two bfdi#tpot#tpot 12#No but literally I'm actually so excited#I've been trying so hard to avoid the leaks and spoilers for this episode#Thank goodness I was succesful#I wonder if we actually see the top of Bell's string in this episode#What is it?? A giant what??#Are You Okay better not be up for elimination#I'm not sure how much longer Golf Ball can last for#Okay okay I'm actually leaving to watch it now haha
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GUESS WHO FINALLY CAUGHT UP W THE BLLK MANGA 🤩
#thoughts atm…kurona is so cute idek where he came from but he’s literally adorable#i NEED karasu omg he’s so fine i want to [redacted] [redacted] until we [redacted]#jkjk ofc#also i still love nagi he is my beautiful special princess#i rlly like reo a lot too!! but i don’t really like nagi and reo together.#they as a duo are just kinda boring to me which ik is an unpopular opinion but i must live my truth#and my truth is that they are more compelling interacting w other characters than w each other#wait also when isagi pulled up w the guns i lowkey lost it LMAOAO what even was that#barou continues to be cunty 🤩 i do feel like he looks better as the manga goes on though fs#i wish anri didn’t have so many fan service scenes 😢 but what can you do ig#me and sae are enemies because he has a dumbass haircut but i also can’t stop watching edits of him so like#mayhaps an enemies to lovers arc is incoming idk#rin needs therapy DESPERATELY somebody stop that boy from touching a soccer ball until he’s had at least 8 sessions#because the way that whole mental breakdown in the u20 arc was just not addressed is insane#and kaiser needs to use his million dollar salary to go to a hairstylist instead of letting ness do it#because whatever tf he has going on is certainly…a choice…#okay i think that’s all!! for now at least#m’s thoughts
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i am way too serious abt belphie i see one of yall make a bad take abt him and i feel homicidal rage
#like fave like stan ig#/hj#i understand not liking belphie#but can we NOT say he wanted to fuck his sister#‘but he wanted to fuck mc’#okay well under that logic theyre all sister fuckers#yes lesson 16 sucked#yes the devs dropped the ball massively#do u honestly think complaining abt it now will do anything abt it#if u do…ur delusional sorry!#obey me#swd obey me#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor
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well. at least i finally made a planning
#like wtf i have so much to do <- fucking explodes. but i finally have a feel for what i’m gonna do what day for the next two weeks#it’s insane bc i haven’t actually factored in homework + deadlines yet but. we ball. it’s okay#i just need to try and get more time efficient instead of waste time procrastinating……………… agh anyway otherwise i can always stop sleeping#/mostly joking. hopefully joking#<- guy who is simultaneously overwhelmed w anxiety & bordering on being numb to the stress bc. whatever. it’s been like this for weeks now#i just need to make it thru another week (repeat till christmas)
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Fanart for @mwebber's NAYQ!Seb
The outfit descriptions have been stuck in my brain, so I drew them!
#the bee boxers especially!!! hehe did you guys notice *what* bees I drew?#im actually shocked at the plaid i drew i thought it'd would be trash but somehow its pretty okay?? pretty uggy tho...#ive realized that in order to draw seb's hair you really just gotta go it: fuck it we ball and rly not deliberate too much#hope you guys like!! im pretty happy with these :) and it was fun to draw for a fic i rly like reading!!#not turning into an art acct but#ive not been able to draw consistently in months bcs of burnout so now i am drawing as much seb for as long as my brain will permit#and im still very touched by everyone's compliments on renaissance seb so !! pls take my humble contribution#i wanted to draw smth from chp 4 but i spent [undisclosed] hours straight drawing these and now my hand and head hurt LOL#also having a big revelation abt drawing fanart#it was fun to draw these bcs i basically just tried to build off what already existed in the fic#so if can you notice specific references to scenes from the fic i will be pleased :)#sebastian vettel#sv5#f1#formula 1#f1 fanart#f1 art#martian#sebmark#we do a little bit of f1#new tag?:#catie.art.#*scheduling this post bcs now i must sleep for like 12 hrs as it is currently uhhhh almost 5 am
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For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.
YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???
CAUSE I JUST DID
#SPPIIIIKKKEEEEEE I MISS YOOOUUUU#I love spike. spike the wet floor bot is my favourite. I miss her I should bring her back somehow#the first animatronic to gain sentience and awareness out of LOVE and CARE#I miss her we need to bring her back. I never made a visual design but I definitely posted some descriptions of her pretty sure#a wet floor bot... a little wonky and a little off colour. holes in it's damaged and dented casing patched up with scrap#never the same colour. always different#stickers and magnets and a lil bit of spray paint. part of an ear missing and crooked#has one of roxy's spiked bracelets around her neck with a keyring dangling from it like a tag...#she picked her own name and pronouns... doesn't really understand what they are and what they mean but she wants them#in one AU she was Roxy's little distraction. something to work on and repair while the others search the rubble of the plex for-#their friends. In another Roxy repaired her for fun unknowingly after Vanny had used her as a test subject for the virus#in another one post-ruin roxy and cassie were searching the plex for an easy animatronic for roxy to repair so cassie's dad could-#test what she'd learned about repairing them from him and found a salvageable wet floor bot#that they then wrapped in tarp and put in a shopping trolley to take her straight home and get to work on her much to the-#confusion of literally everyone as they barrel down the halls of flats with an unidentified tarp blob in a stolen shopping trolley#<- that one's Meteors AU btw. Roxy got turned into a Real Boy by the Meteor and is now living with Cassie as her adopted sister#this is just the kind of shit these two get up to all the time and no one knows who's meant to be the braincell between them because well#they keep taking turns on who the older sibling is. they keep changing it. the eldest sibling is based entirely on the situation lmao#who's bright idea was it to steal a wet floor bot? WHO KNOWS!! Cassie said 'pick an animatronic!' so they did that's all there is to it!#cassie's dad just. head in hands. as he realises. the fucking wet floor sign on wheels is sentient now.#why. why and how. terrified of the wrath of Fazbear if they find out. while she's just. trundling about.#wheels on carpet floor style. struggling but getting there. happy beeps as she pushes a ball around on the floor. living her best life.#sfdsfdsfs I fucking LOVE Spike okay I miss her I need to bring her back somehow#I could give her to mangle or sprocket in robot hell but I'm not doing much with that right now#sdhfdfsfs Chica's recipe zine starring Spike!! and every image of her is just confusion#'see? even Spike likes bananas!' Chica says as she puts one on the floor so Spike can very happily run it over.#dfsdfsds love Spike. Spike enrichment is now running random foods over because she can. and also the wheels off a toy monster truck#so she can be an ALL TERRAIN wet floor bot. make them gecko wheels like DJ's hands and she's got everyone beat lmao#she can be DJ's Uppies Buddy!!#lmao Spike I'm so sorry I've left you in the dark for so long I'm bringing you back. beloved guy of all time
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./long ramble
#i had honestly a lovely night with my friend and now im a ball of anxiety orz#tldr; im still reeling from the weekend and wrote out a script of shit i need to say#but the fact i need to sit on this for a week until we see each other in person has me just |:#and it sucks. it just sucks#but idk i might call my mom tomorrow to talk through it so that will help#i have plans too tomorrow and thursday#i dont friday but that's okay i'll go to a cafe and do chores#and then i have plans sat and sun#so that's fine at least#in the words of my mom and friend once i have the conversation i'll feel better#and maybe the outcome will be positive#it just sucks to sit with right now#anyway. i think typing it out and typing here helped?#RT Games uploaded a funny video. gonna keep watching that and play some genshin#Unfortunately don't have the concentration to edit tonight#but that's also okay - im gonna tomorrow#and i Like that i have a few projects i can do#so we're doing better than feb maddie#miscellaneous
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#peach prc#this song makes me ball my eyes out#like it hits too close to home#and i cant stop listening to it#like damn it sends me down such a spiral#it is not okay#and you've settled down and now its permanent#and now you dont call or miss me at all#;-;#how can a song describe my experiences so well#stays haunting the house with the angels we made 🎶#touchy subject#song#p#rambles ignore me#l#e#Spotify
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02272024 | notes on writing
These days, it's getting harder to separate hobbies from means of living. On most days, I can tell whether I'm doing something as a means of living, something for survival, or something as simple as a human being.
On most days, I also delude myself that it's all a matter of compartmentalization. Like choosing which clothes to wear for the day. Except the world is burning, all my clothes are worn down and made for a time long past, and even if I went out butt-naked, there's no way I'm coming out of it unscathed. That's what writing feels like for me, as of late. Or living, in general.
Maybe someday I can flesh out a timely piece on late-stage capitalism, how creative work is reduced to content, the essence of separating fiction and reality, and all the ways they influence each other without being mistaken as one and the same. We're living through an ongoing health and climate crisis, multiple genocides, and rotting from the inside out thanks to decades of exploitation and systemic ills. Global fuckening to the highest, most damning scale. I wish this is fiction. The context behind that thought terrifies me.
I wish I can save the serious writing for when it really, really counts, but as it stands, tomorrow isn't promised. Never was.
That's what spurred me on, to write this little note. I think I'll be writing more. I have my WIPs, I have my vague little scenarios in my head that will probably haunt me until they get their well-deserved 100K novel, and these occasional trains of thought that derail and create their own train tracks in my mind. There's also the shitstorm that's going on in real life, real time. There's no neat shelf for me to separate the things I care about and things I don't, because it affects us all.
To write online, without capturing all the possible nuances of whatever the fuck it is you're writing about, is an invitation to be flayed alive. For this reason, I shied away from writing about things that matter to me -- much like this one -- because shutting up means no trouble. No room for mistake. After all, what's there to criticize?
But then I realized, well, it's a sad way for a writer to live (at least for me), knowing that writing has been long ingrained in my life. It's a hobby. It's a means of living (hopefully *side-eyes publishers*), and it's a means of survival, with the way it calms me down and is an outlet for my anxieties. It's a way of life, it's not all of me, but it's a HUGE part of me.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Fiction and real-world issues overlap. They bleed into what I write, regardless of whether or not I permit it, and I look for fiction -- hope for fiction -- in the face of staggering, depressing, and bleak reality. Perhaps the intersection here is where fiction is supposed to inspire you to take meaningful action in real life. And real life finds its way to fiction, one way or another, in the little bits and pieces of us writers that we leave in our stories. I'm so chronically online that I could think of a thousand ways critics can gut this paragraph like a fish and come up with the worst meanings.
But then again, maybe the people who need some comfort will find it, too. Maybe people will add into it, I learn something new, and we ALL learn something new. If you're having complicated feelings about writing, questioning what the fuck is it to you, trying to deal with that maddening shelf -- well, here I am. Write whatever the fuck you want to write. Write loudly, unapologetically, meaningfully, purposefully. May your words add a little bit of hope. And if doesn't, may it free you, may it release you, may it provide some relief. Or if you're out there to disturb, then do it. Put your horrors and your fears into paper. Trap them with ink. Slap them with periods and put a name on whatever haunts you.
Write, for fuck's sake. And this is a reminder to myself, in the most literal sense.
#notes for writing#cari's writing#writing#writers on tumblr#spilled ink#spilled feelings#literally just me mulling over what writing has been for me#and my anxieties#fuck it we ball#writeblr#writerscommunity#writers#okay now i can go back to writing my WIP
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hello i just wanna say i genuinely like ur observation about nishiki's fighting style and then ya manage to bring it back to ur 'drug addict nishiki' headcanon like it caught me off guard but im also not surprised that is so fair and real of u okay thank u
In a world where drugs dont exist, nishikiyama’s strength comes solely from his anger and i guess he goes to the gym too
#Thanks for the ask !#Yakuza loveblog#its not a headcanon his voice actor said so before he so does drugs and he does it to escape his terrible life ratpark style#i would in fact be more surprised to learn that nishikis rawdogging life i mean hes definitely not religious and i guess he has alcohol but#thats not enough for what he has to endure. we have to give him meth we have to let him do coke#like i have no reason not to believe he goes to the gym because he is literally vain and i bet he works out till he gets a six pack all#one my life sucks two my life sucks on the bench and he drags kiryu there too even though he hates going to the gym because it stanks and#the aircon is always blowing at the worst spots and the overhead lights oohhhh cant stand the bowling alley either he throws the ball as#hard as he can and it doesnt even touch the runway before its smashing into the pins thats why the y5 bowling completion is so easy he#wants to get out of there asap. im off track see everything goes back to kiryu i always neglect nishikiyama. like even kazamas like heres#some drugs now leave me alone and hea like hmm do i snort this or sell it. oh well SNNRRRT. like there is absolutely no reason for his#entire fighting style to be heavy attacks unless hes wired like crazy and its because hes so pissed off all the time plus hes teeming with#like. cocaine. hulking the fuck out. thats why kiryu feels so safe around him because he has every reason to believe that in a pinch nishik#i can grab someones head and pop it like a grape in order to save his life hes seen it happen before it wasnt just because he feels#comfortable and in sync with nishikiyama he literally has seen him punch someone so hard their skull caved in and hes like okay !#thats why he loves fighting him so much its because if nishiki punches him in the head he’ll just have to wake up the next morning in pain#its so fun trust me on this you need to be punched by your brother right now or youll die
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