#but!!!!! it woul be nice to change that wouldnt it!!!!!!

[kimmkitsuragi]

should i go see the spiderverse movie again with my friend who i talk to almost daily but havent seen face to face since covid 🤔

[wheredoesonegetnameideas]

MHA X SHADOWS HOUSE

Living Doll!Oboro and Shadow!Kurogiri because i said so

(Why is oboros hair so light 😔(also ignore the lack of shoes ok)

This is kinda weird since i feel like these 2 fandoms have literally never met but i did it anyway!!

I didnt really change much in terms of design for kurogiris shadows look, just tried to make it look more fancy and European-ish, i wanted to add a tailcoat but i'd already finished the whole thing so i gave it up.

Kurogiri in this au doesnt have his whole misty body thing, but his soot would make him look similar to canon. His soot is very fine and speards outwards in all directions, getting finer amd lighter at the edges (like mist haha). Other than making him look bigger and being hard to breath next to him, it makes cleaning a hassle for Oboro, especially since it never stops spreading. And while his soot is voluminous, it's quantity is only a bit higher than average when condensed.

I almost forget about soot powers woops, obviously portals and teleportation wouldnt be possible in this AU, so Kurogiri's soot power wouls be the equivalent to Canon!Oboro's quirk, in that he is able to produce soot "clouds" that are good for blocking vision, making hard to breath, and storing things in them depending on the size and density of the "cloud". It wouldnt be the first time he and Oboro used it for silly pranks and hiding things from the star bearers.

I also feel like as much as Oboro is outgoing, shadow!kurogiri would inherit his more subdued qualities. He would be kind, compassionate and definitely have mom friend tendencies. He also likes taking care of others (group leader of shadow!LOV maybe?), and sulks when oboro comes in everyday because he wants to help with chores. (Oboro does encourage this eventually because he is a lazy bumTM and wants less work)

While different, they are essentially reflections of each other (and thats the nice way of putting it), so they get along very well! I also think they would be friends even with the brainwashing undone. (Also i headcanon that animals HATE shadows with every fiber of their being and run away if they're in a 5m radius, and even though there is no way Grandfather(AFO?) allows them on his property, they still still get to pet (and stare at) a cute (badly colored) ginger cat :D )

And in this AU, Oboro's nose bandage would be more important than it (supposedly) is in canon, because it hides a scar along the bridge of his nose that he got on a rainy day. Its not an actual bandage tho because that is gross. It just looks like the one Kurogiri first gave him after he was treated. The scar isnt huge like Barbie's, and really the two arent important enough (or annoying enough to Edward) that Oboro would be sabotaged, but it definitely set him back from being nominated for the Unification.

Speaking of the Unification, if i were to make this AU resemble canon as much as possible, then Kurogiri and Oboro would have successfully Unified (iykyk). But thats up to you really.

As of writing this i'm really considering making the rest of the LOV as shadows (especially Toga if only to put her in the girliest dress i can find and also because her quirk would make a perfect soot power)

More details under the cut:

OMG I JUST SAW HIS EYES OOPSIE ANYWAYS

Oboro does feel guilty for ruining Kurogiri's "face", even if it was an accident. Kurogiri on the other hand doesnt resent him for it and was just relieved he wasn't disposed of. (Strangely enough, Kurogiri didn't dispel any soot that day)

The way i struggled with this part is unbelievable. It looks horrible TOT

The cat is perfect tho

You cannot convince me Oboro would clean up if it wasn't his "purpose". I cant imagine myself in that situation, i would simply pass before the Debut even happens.

Do shadows need to breath? I think they do. Does that mean Shadow!Kurogiri essentially suffocates himself the more he's upset? Wow talk abt hyperventilating

[cybernightwanderer]

“ My Reiki and Yoga New Free Soul Brother - Once an abuser manipulative thieve , money driven leach “

Well thats a big tittle to describe one person entirely. So my ( midle ) brother across my kid years and then teenager developing to adult, my brother was an interesting person. For example, in school my brother would pretend he didnt know me , and if i even dared to aproach him he would shame me in front of everyone, even thought they already knew i was his sister, i was bullied a lot in school so at the start i tried a few times reaching out to him , specially because i didnt have any friends and id always be alone. This motherfucker who was already a teenager completly dismissed me , BUT would actually seek me out or talk to me when he needed lunch money because he already “ spent his”, funny enough hed get mine to eat coz he didnt wanna use his, and if i didnt gave him even though i hadnt eaten , he would guilty me badly , and being the kid that i was , my brother was everything to me , even tho he didnt gave a shit about me.

So in consequence i started drawing a distance line between me and him, at home id start to distance myself and ignore him. And he started getting like a really attention whore, hed always annoye me , and force me to hangout, and i didnt he would threaten me or do some shit at the house and blame me for it , because my mother at the tinniest shit at home would beat the crap out of me , so me being the little kid that i was tired of getting beatings for no random reason , id play along. My brother would literally antagonzie me and scare the shit out of me while so. Everytime my family went anywhere , for example the beach, id try to go to the water alone for some peace this motherfucker would sneak behind me and try to drown me as a joke , like every 5 minutes, id yell in panic and my mom wouldnt do shit, eventually id end up actually chocking on water and  hit my head on the sand and cry the rest of the time. So yeah FUN ! Did my mom do anything ? ofc no , “ hes just playing around “. I had BD collections that id buy with my lunch money that sometimes id save up, disney movie cassettes and so on. Sometimes id have snacks in my room to eat when studying or something. My brother, being a full grown ass teenager that he was , would steal everything without me even catching a glimpse of it. My brother would “ borrow “ things without asking then hide them because he wanted. I had two final fantasy collectible caracters that i spent my leftover bday money on, and my brother would take it as his own. Yes because whatever birthday money i got wether it be 50 euros or even 20 from my grandma or aunt, my mom would take it “ borrowed” for herself with no justification, shed always say “ Ah lend me i need it  / or / I always buy you clothes and everythings, i buy you food , you owe me this , thats the minimum you could do / “ or / she would just take it without me knowing , she would inspect my bday gifts and take it before hand , the problem is that my grandma or aunt would always after if i was gonna save it up and id ask what and they would question what i did with the money and i would ask what money and blah blah , you get where this is going.

OH and if i didnt give my money the money she would beat me up ! wich is funny asf. My brother literally sold all my things behind my back, my original BDS, MY FUCKING POISON IVY STORYLINE BD, my disney cassetes , my collectibles, and my snacks he would steal and eat. If i had saved up money hidden, first he would try to borrow it and guilty me with the “ im such a good brother to you , you cant even lend me money ? i will pay you back, trust me “ ... ofc he never payed me back , but every two weeks he woul do this shit. And if i by any chance didnt gave him , hed just steal, or sell my things, wich regardless of me lending him , he would do it anyway. Fast forward to my early teenage years, i had to start working , i quit school because we entered that internet deth with my moms company, wich my brother also contributed to but let the blame to me ofc, i was already the punch bag of the family what is one more thing. My brothers were always my moms “ babies “ even tho one was already a full grown ass man and the other was already on his way. My brother did nothing at home , didnt take the dog outside, didnt take out the trash, didnt make food, didnt wash the dishes, didnt clean the house, basicly sit on his ass all day playing video games and eating, and selling my shit for money. My brother was unemployed for 3/4 years in between those i studied and worked at the same time , and did all the house chores, even if i had to walk the dog as 2/3 am after work i would have to, even tho my brother was in bed all day. My mom would literally yell at me and make my life a living hell and threaten to hit me if i didnt do it or even dared to complain. I would get home trying to study , trying to recorver at school ,and she would yell non stop until i didn every house chore, wich i would only manage to finish at midnight or later, and then id be too tired and unmotivated to do anything so id just sleep, and id always get late to class thanks to that. When my brothers started working, it was at my dads wearehouse, where i was forced to work too. Id work 8 to 10 hours , sometimes more, because we got payed by publicity stock packs, each pack was worth 1 euro, wich also 1 pack took 1 hour and 15/20 minutes to make. So if i wanted to make the day worth anything i had to rush , no eating breaks or pee breakes. My hands at the end of the day would literally be filled with newspaper and printed paper ink and dirk, and tons of cuts and sores , that would be leeched in paper ink, wich make it hurt even more at the end of the day, and was really hard to take it out. My brother would take breaks every 30 minutes to smoke , be on his phone or even go to bathroom or eat randomly, i wouldnt stop the 8 hours straight, and when i actually had to go to the bathroom or eat something because id get sick, my brother literally stole packs from me, or try to “ negociate my help for X “, the thing about my brother is that hed always try to negociate something , ofc it was always entangled for his own benefit and not both.

So it was like this my brother came up to me all excited and say “ oh if you do this to help me , ill split the profit that way we will make more and will be less exausting “ stupid like i was id always give in, specially because if i didnt  hed steal anyway.... Hed always change his methods and works, and guilty me if i didnt do it, so id always have to do so. If i didnt hed just change the pack registration list either way, without me even seeing it, and fake my signature, i only found out we had to sign an official paper a few months later when my dad asked, before that my brother would always tell me to note them on my phone then send the numbers by the end of the week, and since he was the bosses son , every one backed up that story ofc.  Eventually when i started to get older , i cut ties with my brothers and dad. And my ( midle ) brother was constantly trying to reach out and play nice and shit , also he was still working at the wearhouse . Anyway , fast forward when i got unemployed after the 5 star hotel due to rape attent and shit like that, i was unemplyoyed for 4 moths?! My brother tried to reach out , and even came home before my mother to try and persuade me to enter one of his schemes, i explained to my brother that i didnt have any money and that i wouldnt believe anymore of his stupid schemes and blah blah. He swore he was only trying to make up to me , and the plan was , i would pretend to work at my dads  wearehouse, but i would just be there 2 times a week and he would give me a cut of the protfit, coz if he didnt want my dad to hire some random slow guy, so he set up to do a two persons work, and give me 30 % of the monthy rate and all i had to do is show up a few times for my dad to see i was there, and then go home. That motherfucker insisted for 3 days straight promissing it wasnt a scheme and that he was serious this time. OBVIOUSLY THAT DIDNT HAPPEN OBVIOUSLY- with the last 10 euros i had, i bought train tickers to the wearhouse, the first week he actually stick to his word, a few days later the shit started, he actualy forced me to deliver shit and stuff. Wich for me was really difficult because its when i started to develop hernias, and the pain was too overwhealming, and that fucker didnt care and still forced me to, eventually i told him i was out , and found out he still used my name in his shit plan  and pretended i was still working there to my dad for two whole months , and then begged me to lie to my dad on the phone, hed literally call me before my dad trying to get me to lie, and promissing the money, and hed ask my mom to pressure my to help him. What could i do??!! what happend after you may ask? did my brother gave me the money? OFC NO ! NO! He gave me 115 euros of the cut , and he made 996 euros to himself. And told me it was only for the days “ i actually worked “  NEVER IN MY LIFE  I VERBALLY EVER SAID TO ANYONE , FAMILY OR NOT  “ I hope you die, you are shit , you are nothing to me , seriously i hope you die “ and acually meant it and wished it. For the first time in my life i actually wished so hard for my brother to just die. I was done, i was officialy done , i had never been so done with someone. I was officialy done with my family. I blocked my dad on everything, i told my dad to fuck off. I told my older brother to fuck off. I told my middle brother to go die. And the last person was my dying grandma who was a snob ass piece of shit who only gave a shit about me when i was a little girl ( because its only cute when they r kids  ), to stop trying to call me and told her to just go and die. She literally sent me a voice message of 5 minutes crying beggin me to see her, and i just told her to go and die, its not because she is dying that is gonna erase the fact that she didnt gave a shit about me after i actually grown. And the fact that i did this apparently scared the shit out my dad and brothes, specially because i did it so naturally. AND TO THIS DAY I DONT REGRET WHAT I SAID AND I STILL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER. OH AND PLOT TWIST SHES NOT DEAD NOR WAS SHE DYING, LAST YEAR SHE TRIED TO SCHEME MONEY OUT OF MY MOM, AND BEFORE THAT SHE WOULD ALWAYS TREAT MY MOM LIKE SHIT AN CALL HER NAMES, FUNNY ! Now they try to sneak into my life really AGAIN ... ffs Since the end of last year, apparently my brother turned into reiki and yoga and shit and is now driving a motivational fuck page for people who wanna “ grow spiritually and open the third eye “ and is trying to reconnect with me again, obviously i cut him off before he could even talk to me. So he spent 3 months or so , coming here and trying, and since he didnt get anything since january and february hes trying to manipulate me behind my mother, my mother is venting to my brother about me being closed off to them , and my brother is DIAGNOSING ME AS A PROBLEM, BECAUSE HE IS SO WISE AND ENLIGHTED... WTF??? diagnosing me??? ur not a fucking therapist you asshole ! The other day i heard him tell my mother in the living room , that “ SHE CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ITS VERY TOXIC FOR HER, SHE HAS TO TALK TO YOU AND BE A BETTER SISTER AND DAUGHTER SHE NEEDS TO BLAH BLAH YOU NEED TO KICK HER OUT IF SHE IS LIVING OFF YOU  “ WHAT THE FUCK?? im living off my mother?? the woman that forced me to give her more than half of my paycheck, thats doesnt give me privacy or respect and that literally threatned me if i ever tried to leave that she would chase me down???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR SEND ME TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL????!!!! ... My older brother is doing the same, keeps trying to get me to go visit his kid, and to meet his kid, keeps trying to get my mother to see pictures of the kid or to call them. They keep trying to guilty me “ oh you cant take it out on the kid, its not the kids fault , he needs to know his aunt, you are his family “ BITCH FAMILY?????? FAMILY??? family doesnt mean shit. Yesterday even sent photos of his kid trought a new number LOL. I actually did went to the kids birthday, first time a few months ago, and guess what , my brother still the NO ONE ASKED- OPINIONATED asshole he was about my whole life, he literally takes one glimpse of me and judges my whole life and starts yelling shit at me ...ofc thats not gonna happend again. People dont change. People. dont. change. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE ! BITCH ?? WHAT? WHO THE FCK?? HOW THE FUCK??? In conclusion my brother is still the same piece of shit he was , and now even more narcisistic, and manipulative, he cant get what he wants from me , so now hes resourting to my mother again. I NEED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE, I NEED TO LEAVE THIS FAMILY OMFG. Funny enough he does this shit then tries to get me to go to his house to celebrate his birthday because he “ MISSES ME AND THE OLD DAYS” ???? OLD DAYS OF YOU MENTALY ABUSING ME ? NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ALMOST BROKE MY ARM BECAUSE I WOULDNT LEND YOU MY COMPUTER 3 YEARS AGO????? my mom literally told him we were gonna go there without even asking me if i wanted or even if i was gonna go. LOL, shes trying to emotionally manipulate me with older pictures of me and him , and games we would play together LOL. OMFG PLEASE SOME ONE, I DONT EVEN KNOW I NEED TO DIE OMFG... I CANT TAKE THIS FAMILY ANYMORE.

[tacos-of-destiny]

Conversation I had with my grandpa

Me, not knowing what my grandpa and his friend are talking about because I'm too busy inhaling sesame chicken: nom nom nom

My racist grandpa: something something the Indians gave their land to us willingly-

Me, choking on my chicken because if the utter stupidity of that statement: actually, over a million native americans were killed in the largest cultural genocide ever recorded, not including when Columbus first arrived and accidentally gave them a bunch of diseases. To add to that-

My grandpa: nooo, the whites would never do anything like that

Me: more native americans died than during the holocaust so theres that

Grandpa: hitler was a great man, but all of Germany was weak minded for following him

Me: he was also voted into power, and wouldnt thinking hes a great person make you weak minded as well?

Grandpa: all of his ideas were right though!

Me: ah yes, the ideas that would get all of your kids and grandkids murdered because we all have dark curly hair, dark eyes, and most of us are pretty tan

Grandpa: no you woul-

Grandpas friend: they got a point

Grandpa sputters for a few seconds and looks at the tv that's playing the news: hey, what about that Notre Dame fire?

Me: nice topic change

Grandpas friend: it's hilarious how your grandkid that's still in high school can have a more intellectual conversation than you

[your-jellyfish-senpai]

Tag Game

tagged by @animeismybestfriend104 ty i hope you’re well tag me in more things if u want to :P

rules: answers the questions + tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better *fyi there ain’t no way in hell i’m tagging that many SORRY)

A-Age: 20 fuck im old

B-Birthplace: Pennsylvania

C-Current time: 10:45pm

D - Drink You Last Had: sweet tea on my break at work

E - Easiest Person To Talk To: @defessus-puer probably because idk fuck u (ps ur getting tagged in this anyway so u get a special shoutout all the way up here)

F - Favorite Song: it literally changes every week rn maybe greek tragedy or tokyo by the wombats?

G - Grossest Memory: i once threw up in science class, not because of the class (we even had a substitute teacher that day lmao) i was just sick and came to school anyway, but that’s honestly just mortifying to me. it was definitely gross for everyone else.

H - Horror Yes or Horror No: yes but i shouldnt watch scary stuff alone. i psych myself out. if im with other people, i am Too Brave. like at haunted attractions and shit, i take the lead nad talk back to the actors. idk where it comes from.

I - In Love: no lmao

J - Jealous of People: p much constantly

K - Killed Someone?: why u gotta know

L - Love At First Sight Or Should I Walk By Again: no except today at work this EXTREMELY CUTE FEM PERSON WALKED BY ME AND I WAS SHOOK.

M - Middle Name: Jane after my Nana

N - Number of Siblings: two older step-siblings, otherwise none

O - One Wish: LEAVE THE COUNTRY TO LIVE A SUCCESSFUL LIFE AND NEVER HAVE TO RETURN

P - Person You Called Last: my dad called me yesterday, i dont call people ever

Q - Question You Are Always Asked: “how tall are you” / “do you play basketball” / “do you have a boyfriend” with the second and third being interchangeable but otherwise all together

R - Reason to Smile: anime isn’t that fucking sad. also my friends and baseball.

S - Song You Sang Last: probably a terrible mishmash of the two songs i mentioned above because i couldnt remember the melody for either and just meshed them together while at work when i was bored

T - Time You Woke Up: 8:20ish am

U - Underwear Colour: salmon why do u need to know

V - Vacation Destination: i’d say japan (though i’d actually want to live there) and same goes for italy, but as for actual vacation… going to costa rica again woul dbe nice, and australia/new zealand, and europe in general. i just want to travel but alas i am poor

W - Worst Habit: being bitter tbqh

X - X-rays: uhhh last january i think, because the doctor was trying to figure out what was wrong with my back even though the issue is with my discs and the discs are not bone so they wouldnt show up on the x-rays u fucker

Y - Your favourite food: i love sandwiches, salad, and fried pickles. 

Z - Zodiac Sign: libra

i’m just gonna tag some people and we’ll see how it goes. don’t feel obligted, but deff tag me if you do it.

tagging: @defessus-puer @jellyfishtree @yesiamthesmileyface @thelittlestcaptainamerica @hypatheticallyspeaking and u kno what i quit this is fine

[sea-blue-bombshell]

green day makes me think of you

uhh yeah. if you know me in real life uhm. i really rather you didnt read this.

...

so yeah anyway the reason i dont want anyone in real life to read this is because im fucking sensitive and feel like literally no one else feels this way. i dont want to talk about it out loud.

and by no one i mean jacki and emmy. i love you both. but god damn it this hurt so badly.

..

im here to honor you

im not over it. okay im. really. not over it. nearly every single fucking time she comes up in conversation i want to rip my heart out. im so upset and you both are so over her and done with it and im not. okay im not.

she was my best friend. she was my fucking everything for so long. when jacki and emmy were off in tuscan and flagstaff she was there with me. she was over all the time, we talked so often and spent almost everyday together that we could and it was so nice to just. do nothing with someone and have that kind of comfort.

like okay i love both jacki and emmy a lot, but i feel like when we hang out there needs to be a plan. like what do you want to do? i dont. im okay being in the same room with each other if were all doing our own thing and like. being with them sometimes felt like an event that i had to prepare for.

i didnt have that with her. it was just, you coming over? and we would spend time doing our own thing and that was it. it was so easy and i. i dont have that any more? and i know i wouldnt have that with her now but. isnt that the worst part? that its gotten to that point? that i know, that somewhere in between moving and those fuckos you dated, something changed.

i had asked my parents if you could come live with us, when you first moved out and your parents went to where ever. i was ready to clean out a room for you. mom said yes. dad didnt really.

if i lose everything in the fire

god im so fucking jaded. like. im so mad and sad and frustrated about it. like. i put so much fucking effort into this friendship with her, so much of my time and energy and emotion into her and for her to be the one to tell me, to tell me, that we arent friends any more, it. god i didnt even know how to process it at the time but im so fucking mad.

how the fuck was i supposed to know that she needed friendship like that? how was i supposed to know she was dependent on calling me and telling me about her life while i barely told her about mine? how was i supposed to know tat the way i kept in contact, the little i did. wasnt going to be fucking enough?

i. i should have been the one to break that off. it should have been me. she doesnt deserve to tell me that we arent friends after all of that. shes not the one who fuckign exhausted themselves trying to hold her together while alos trying not lose my own fucking mind. its. its fucking unfair and rude. “we havent really been friends for a while” god it fucking hurt.

my beating heart belongs to you

and i know. okay i fucking know. ive known for so long that shes had romantic feelings for me. okay. since highschool, her freshman year with austin and all of that. ive known. and it wasnt jacki’s secret to tell, but i knew anyway. how could i not? ive. i knew her better than anyone. i knew people too and. it was god it was obvious.

she never said anything. she kept her secret well i suppose and its not like i was going to call her out on it. not when. not when i knew what it would do to us.

i talked to joey about it a little while ago, like. about us trying polyamory. and. he honestly thought maybe it could be her. shes so pretty and fun and maybe she could be a part of our triangle and. god so did i.

i did think about it. i thought about it while we were cuddling on my bed and i kicked both of them and she screamed at me to get back in bed. i thought about it. wondering if i could be happy like that, with both of them. with what we could have.

and i knew it wouldnt work.

there have been. very apparent times when i got. really annoyed with her for no reason. she would wait for me to open to car door first before she did when its like. its open. like i have no idea why that annoyed me but here we are. and thats a stupid example but. there were times where just. the smallest of things would burn my nerves and. i couldnt do that. i knew what would happen.

we would have a honeymoon phase, and it would be so nice and lovely and wonderful. we were best friends, why wouldnt we make the best couple? and then it would tank, and tank hard. something would annoy me, grate on my nerves, and i wouldnt be able to handle it. what would happen then? a break up? a ruined friendship. i suppose thats where we are now.

i know myself well enough to know thats how a romantic relationship would work between us. and. i was selfish, and didnt want to do that.

you are the moonlight of my life

was that cruel? was that bad? to know that. to know that she loved me romantically and that i would ignore it in favor of having her as a friend? that i wanted to keep her as a friend while having her be nothing more than a friend? did that hurt her? did i hurt her?

probably.

i dont regret keeping our relationship specifically be platonic. but did she hate it? did she wish and plan and maybe think of ways for it to be more? i know i told her once that i would probably do better with someone with more experience, and that she went and told jacki that she would never get to be with me now because of it. and yet most of my relationships have been and are with people who have been less experienced than me.

guess that doesnt help much.

i just. it could have been nice, to be romantically involved, but i knew. i knew it wouldnt last, that it would kill whatever friendship we had. and i couldnt do that. i couldnt risk losing her as a friend for that.

and now where is she? off married to some fuckface who was at one point literally everything she hated.

so if you dare to second guess

i mean? him really? are fucking serious? if. if if past her had seen this in the future she would have fucked on off. god i fucking hate him for taking you. you say it snot him but fuck who are you with him? you are so different near him i cant. i can barely recognize you.

change is normal. look emmy and jacki both said that i changed around joey too. that i became more subdued or something. which i understand. but i also has a job that required me to be mature, schooling for that job that made that very clear, no reason to be the animated fucko i was in highschool. and also for the first like three months of living in flagstaff i wanted to kill myself because depression but like. no shit i changed. they hadnt seen me in a year.

but you. you. it was. it took like three months to be completely calm and complacent. to want whatever it is you wanted then. i blame him. i blame him so much for doing that to you. you will say hes not the issue. god he fuckign feels like part of it though.

what is the issue? was it us? was it me? do you think we didnt care? did you think we didnt want you around? did you think that because we moved and didnt talk all that often that i didnt still completely considered you one of my best friends?

i think so. it feels so.

with every breath that i am worth

look i get it. jacki. jacki couldnt give two shits now. you ruined part of her mental health. how many times can you ask someone to wait up till 3 am with you to talk you out of suicide. did you try to call me? or emmy? you hurt jacki so badly. how fucking dare you. she cried so much because she couldnt handle it.

she was the first to give up on you. she. jacki couldnt do it any more. she was so sick of being your secret keeper and your suicide hotline. she couldnt take care of herself, she sure as hell couldnt take of you. she hated it. and she began to hate you.

emmy was second. she. after. we went down to visit or something, a graduation or. what homecoming or some highschool bullshit? we hung out and. we offered you an out, to come stay up in flag with us, to get away from jake or. whatever, we wanted to help to have you, to. do something i dont even know. and you.

emmy became jaded. you barely gave us answer, just stayed silent. after that emmy went on off on how disrespectful you were. that you didnt understand friendship. that when you called to talk, that you would ask ‘how are you’ and then only talk about yourself and your problems and that the kind of friendship you did give was not good.

like sure we never called you, but you never talked about anything but yourself.

you ruined your friend ships. sure we didnt. provide the right kind of friendship for you. we survived on small talks in between seeing each other. and thats not. thats not how you needed friendship. but. what was said in calls, or said in person. god you ruined it.

and it hurts it fucking hurts so god damn badly because i was. i was.

you can rest assured that all my loves for you

and i. i still considered us friends. i knew you would mention important stuff and we could talk about it, and. when all that calls went down when you married that. that piece of. when that happened and you said, we werent friends. god it hurt. i still hurt. i hurt all the fucking time about this and i cant fuckign talk to anyone about it because joey wasnt as good of friends with you and jacki and emmy are done with you, they dont want anything to do with you.

did you know they wanted me to call you and basically say that we were done? to burn our bridge entirely? i couldnt do it. i was. i couldnt call and do that because i had made a plan. it. i made a plan to try and be friends with you again. i made a plan had it written out and then.

then they said they were done. i was so ready to welcome you back into my life and they. they didnt want you. i was so ready for you. it was so easy to try again to me and. i was so ready to throw myself back into a mess of putting in so much effort. for you. what was i getting out of it? was your friendship. were you worth it? i dont even know.

the last thing you said to me was happy birthday. i didnt wish you one.

you. i. it hurts. i honestly felt broken when you said we werent friends. after all that time? it hurts and im. im not over it. god i even. i moved away from emmy and asked her if there was a way she wanted to keep in contact. i couldnt lose another best friend. i couldnt lose her too. and you. you did that. you made me scared to lose another friend.

sending all my love to you

i. i had talked to joey about you a little. and. and he asked me if. if you were to come back. if you were to come to me saying you. i dont know. left whatshisfuck, wanted to be near me again, wanted to just be together again, he asked if i would take you back and i.

i couldnt say no. i wouldnt. it would. i would take you back so quickly and effortlessly like i was willing to do months ago. you. you left me. you LEFT ME. not the other way around. god our relationship is. its so toxic and i. i couldnt say no. i would help you and take you back and. it wouldnt be the same and it would be different and. i would do it.

our friendship hadnt been good for me. and yet i would still love you and let you come over and we could lay on the floor and do our own thing and. god i miss you. god i miss what we had and it hurts. fucking. it hurts and i miss you and i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you. i miss what we had and i miss doing nothing and i miss our friendship and i miss doing stupid stuff and i miss you. i miss you and it hurts so badly.

god i want to rip my heart out. i wasnt planning on crying and.. it hurts so bad.. we never really got closure, and i sure as fuck wasnt going to call like emmy kind of wanted me to do and tell you we werent friends. i still consider you one really and.. its so. empty now. we never got. anything. it was just that one conversation an then nothing.

god i would take you back so fast. i dont know if it would last for anything, but i just. you were always there. even when you werent. and this. this hit me so much fucking harder than i ever thought it would. i know we didnt talk a lot. that how my friendships worked. but to know. to know. that we arent friends anymore killed me inside. still is. it would be so hard to talk to you now.

i miss you. i miss what we had and how it was. if i could having you coming over every other day just to be here, just to sit on the couch and draw with me sitting near you with my laptop doing anything else. i would. but it cant happen. not with you so far gone as someone else, and me lost in the past. its not what we are right now. and its possible we wont ever be again. and even if we could it would be so different. i cant get our friendship back.

and it will never be the same.

did i ever make it through

[dangerouscrusadefire-blog]

Car insurance for a new driver?

"Car insurance for a new driver?

Car insurance for a new driver?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Car insurance for a new driver?

Car insurance for a new driver?

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Does car insurance cover this..?

my freind borrowed my car and he and his father went to the mall,his father got into a car accident which was his fault.now the car is totaled.i only have basic insurance does that cover my car or am i out of a car?""

Car insurance for a 16 year old girl?

I will be getting my license in march. I will be driving a 1998 4 door buick regal. I was wondering how much insurance may be. My parents have clean records and excellent credit. I maintain a 3.8 GPA but the insurance company doesn't give rebates for that.

""California Life and Health Insurance, How can i Lower my Insurance rates?""

California Life and Health Insurance, How can i Lower my Insurance rates?""

AAA auto Insurance policy ?

I'm currently having auto insurance with AAA and my bro is going to get his car soon. If I can get both of our cars insured under 1 plan, would that be cheaper ? thanks""

Cheap health insurance for college students?

Hi im a college student who is broke. Can someone help me out with cheap heath insurance? I cant even afford the insurance that the school offers. Please help me out.

My clutch & break failed can i get insurance !?

how i can get the insurance cover of my car maruti wagon r vxi purchased in 2012 !

Healthcare Homework help?

Here is what i need to find: 1) explore insurance costs for patients with and without cancer 2) will the new Obama healthcare act help patients with cancers be able to access affordable health care insurance rates? 3) do hospitals have the right to reject some patients and refuse care? 4) what are the local, state, and federal laws regarding right to treat? Okay so i've already done some research but some of the questions are kinda vague and im having trouble figuring out what to say and finding info...especially #1. It's supposed to be placed on a poster board for a showcase so it needs to be nice. I dont know much about healthcare so i dont know what i need to focus on?""

How much is insurance for young men drivers?

I want to get a new car and im 18 years old. My dad says he wont put me on his insurance if i buy a new car but insurance on a new car will be like $400 a month!!!! I have no accidents or tickets my record is clean. Is this normal? I dont live in a bad area and it is a convertible pontiac g6. ThanX

Insurance Cost?

I'm 18 and I have a 3.0+ GPA and I'm a male. I'm looking to get a new 2007 Honda Accord two door manual transmission. I live in California in the L.A. area. Does anyone know the price range of my insurance?

Why would insurance pay double what someone paid for a motorbike?

If a motorbike was stolen and returned with minimal damage why would the insurance company pay out twice what the bike cost?

Car insurance INCREASE every 6 months with no accidents/tickets? wtf!?

Last year I had Unitrin Direct....they were charging me $85 a month...this is with NO tickets or accidents for the last 5 years of my driving record....this is also with the BASIC insurance that you need in Florida...10/10/20...NO collision...and a $1000 deductible..... So at the end of my 6 months...it was time for a renewal...they tried to bump me up to $140 a month for no reason...still no accidents/tickets...nothing had changed...i had expected my rate to DECREASE....they tell me it's a STATEWIDE INCREASE ......so i called around... Ended up switching to Allstate who has been charging me $90 a month (better than $140 right?).....6 months go by, everything's cool.....now my policy renewal is coming up and they're trying to tell me i need to pay $160 a month for their basic insurance. Are you kidding me? And according to them it's another STATEWIDE INSURANCE INCREASE ...... They also told me that it could be due to not having CONSECUTIVE insurance for the last few years, as in...I switched from State Farm to Unitrin to Allstate......they told me call the state insurance commissioner...which I did.... Got connected to some guy in Gainesville who tells me that the INSURANCE companies are the ones who decide the rates and increases...not them. Pretty much BS....Allstate's blaming the state, state's blaming them...feels like a huge runaround to me. Guess my questions are.... Should I stick with Allstate and pay $160 a month for this absolute BASIC insurance (keep in mind..no collision, $1000 deductible)...my car's not even worth a YEAR of their insurance. .... Or shop around? But if I switch back to Unitrin or get Geico or whatever....will I risk having ANOTHER increase after 6 months? And is it true that one of the reasons for these statewide increases is not having consecutive insurance with the same company for so many years? Thanks all.""

17 year old car insurance prices ?

im comparing cars on moneysupermarket because im 16 an need a heads up on insurances costs etc... but i compared a classis mini 1.0- annual: 6000 and Monthly: 650 also, 2007 vauxhall corsa 1.0- annual: 8000 Monthly: 852 and a 1993 Ford Fiesta 1.1- annual: 12000 Monthly: 1152 now i can sort of understand the price for the mini, due to its a small car with a small engine, but the corsa's like brand new? how can the insurance be sort of lowish. but why are they charging huge amounts for a fiesta that is older than me and is probably falling to piece's slowly ? im so confused :S can some one help me and please explain this i really want to be able to have a first car at 17 but at this rate i might be stuck on a motorcycle for a few years then maybe have enough money to afford a car :/""

""How much cheaper would it be to go under my dads insurance for a van, if it was 2000 on my own policy? (Year)?""

My INSURANCE quote is around 2000 Annual for my Ford Transit Van. Im 17 years of age and would really like this to be a tad cheaper for the first year until I get my little own run Business going a bit more. Is there anybody who can give me an estimate on how much Im looking at if I went under my fathers Insurance? Cheers Guys! Jack Osborne. All Answers Appreciated. (Added - I am not able to get a quote from my dads insurance people so we are changing it over. Please do NOT give me nasty answers as these will be classed as immature) If you haven't got anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all.""

""I pay right now about $160 for car insurance a month. It's with progressive, and this is the cheapest I can""

get and it doesn't cover much at all it will only the cover the other car if i cause an accident. I live in midtown atlanta so this is why insurance costs so much, but does anyone know anything I can get cheaper? Is safe auto a good deal? Help please!""

A question about how much will insurance cost?

i am looking at a few cars , toyota mr2 which should be cheap on insurance because it's a classic car and im looking at a renault clio 1.2 now im just wondering because im nearly a 17 year old and wanting to know how much would insurance cost on these 2 cars thanks people""

""My brother wrecked my car and the Insurance wont cover it, what can I do?

While I was out of the country my brother wrecked my car and the insurance company wont cover it. I have full coverage and my brother had my permission to be driving my car so how can they refuse to pay?

Car insurance?

i live in northern ireland , just got a really good quote for car insurance from a company called endsleigh, i have never heard of them does anyone know if this is a good reliable company""

What are california's car insurance laws?

Im a new driver and was wondering if its a type of insurance i need. I only have Liability on my car nothing else am i ok if i get pulled over and asked for proof of insurance??

1999 Chevy Cavalier convertible insurance price?!?

I would like to know how much the insurance for a 1999 Chevy Cavalier convertible would be for a 17 year old driver with no tickets or accidents! Please help me out.

I live in NC and I cant afford my car insurance; I'm on disability and I can't drive.?

Can someone else get insurance and use my car and take me to appts.?

Do I really need travelers insurance?

We are taking a trip from Oregon to Cancun Mexico soon and am wondering if I should purchase travelers insurance. We are going to purchase airline tickets directly from Delta Airlines and also from our chosen hotel. I'm thinking that if there are any problems, the airline and hotel would take care of it. What are your thoughts?""

Which state has higher insurance rates texas or california?

I am getting stationed in San Diego and moving my car from Texas to California.

""I have AETNA insurance full coverage, and my hospital bill is $42,519, will my insurance pay all of it???""

i was in a sever car accident, lost control hit a tree. and my hospital bill is $42,519, for only 5 days in the hospital. No broken bones, no surgies. i only had a minor head concussion, and a few bruises. i have AETNA full coverage insurance and i am a full time college student. now will aetna pay all of the hospital bills..or do i have to pay some. im really confused.""

Car insurance for a new driver?

Car insurance for a new driver?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-health-insurance-medicare-solutions-cincinnati-jose-silva/"

[theeemeee]

honestly

theres a lot going on and idk where else to say it or who to say it to.

theres too many things to go over

1. moving- why did i move here? i am so stuck and lost and scared i have no idea what im doing here. i left to get away but now im a place where im unaware and confused. 

2 breaking up with june- still struggling. what did i do? did i over exagerate? did i make the wrong move?i was being hurt? was that not the safe idea to leave? why didnt i just stay there and figure it out? could i have figured it out? would it have ever worked? would i have been okay if i just kept it to myself? we could have been it. he wasnt cheating i bet. idk theres no way to know.

3- my friends?- who are they? where are they? they say theyre caring for me but like i honestly havent seen them around my messages just to say whats up? what are friends? how do you make them and keep them? have i done wrong by removing the ones i cant emotionally handle? what and why do i keep ending up with shitty people i care more for and about? what happened to needing a friend and being able to tell them hey i need someone right now cause im very not okay and i dont know what to do about it. im confused and alone and always talking to myself cause im the only one i actually have now. it woule be nice to dump this stuff on someone who wouldnt judge me or fault me for anything ive done wrong. ive tried my best. ive done everything i possibly could at the moment to do the right thing and im sorry if it wasnt right by you or you didnt like it but just listen to me talk about me for a sec and comfort me please. thats all a person needs. human connection and compassion would be nice. like i think once in my life i had a friend and i dont know how or what i did to loose that but the good moments were good and its been a while since iver had that. everyone i have now needs me and its so exhausting and i need to just rely on someone else for a sec. idk. its pretty tough to find that now.

4 my job- i hate it. im being used and abused and taken advantage of and its not worth my time. but like what is. nothing. im just living breathing. not going anywhere or doing anything. standing. sitting. theres no place to move up. im stuck. im stuck working the hours they want me to and doing the things they say i have to do. theyre ruling my life and i cant afford to change anything they say because i moved here and now im stuck dealing with the bills of it. i had to get out though and i cant find anything that seems like its worth my time or efforts unless its mine. working for someone else is the last thing i want to be doing.

5 my art- i just want to create things. i dont know why its so hard to just express myself recently. im feeling uncomfortable in my body and my space. completely outside myself and also completely trapped in my head and unable to clear the gates that are complataly heled up with emotions and anger i need to let out but i cant. i cant express this cause i dont know how or who to express it with or to. i am completely alone having to figure this out.

6 money- im broke. and completely in debt. i have to spend money to live every month but i dont make enough to cover it. i dont know how to handle money or what to do with it or how to make it last or calculate things out. i didnt learn. its new. and im expected to just know how to do everything by myself and i honestly dont know how. like what. who knows how to do any of this and what part of life was i sleeping for that i missed out on how to hold down a fucking life. cause beats me i have no idea how. i thought someone was suppose to teach you how to life and not fail but i honestly think every day im failing harder and harder and i dont know when ill win something for once. i have lost and left and detoxed to much that now here i am alone and having no idea how to do a single thing. and i have to talk to myself about it and through it cause i have nobody left here to care about me.

i am complaining but also completely valid in all of these things and its just something i think is normal in life to have or want sometimes so dont blame me or make me feel bad for having some emotions. like you have no idea what i have done and gone through in the past 3 years. no idea. the shit ive seen and heard and had to think about. the things that have happened to me. the things people have done and said to me i could write a disgusting book of just the sexual harassment. a novel about the abuse and blood. and a few short story serieses about the places ive cried, fought, or feard for my life. also a list of rooms i thought id die in is longer than id like to admit. my life is disgusting and i dont know how it got to this point but it did and here i am scared alone and afraid every day of whats going to happen next.

[datingadviceonreddit]

Reading some of the posts on here it seems like a lot of you guys get signals of interest from girls (eye contact, laughter, flirtatious touching etc.) And struggle with then asking for a date or closing the deal. I can safely say though that in my entire teenage life from middle school up to college where I'm stuck now ive never recieved a single ioi from any girl. I personally think I look fine (a little scrawny but not unhealthy) but my opinion of myself doesnt really mean much when I'm invisible to half the population.I've never been in the appropriate situation to ask a girl out before. All my female friends are in ltrs or have multiple other fwbs and like I said no girl ever flirts with me in day to day life (especially if I'm at a party or club and there are other hotter guys there). I have no problem conversing with people, being sociable or making jokes but there must be something wrong or inadequate about me since no guys respect me or want to be friends, and girls just act polite or ignore me.I guess I probably qualify as a nice guy although I don't think I'm entitled to anything from women. I would ask out girl if I thought she wouldnt be receptive because i can imagine how much it must suck to be hit on by a loser guy you have no interest in and I dont want to make anyone's life any worse than it has to be. Maybe I'm too sensitive but it seems like most women get so much attention from people who are much more physically and socially attractive than me that I wouls just be a nuisance and they would be irritated if not offended if I dared to make any kind of move.This has turned into kind of a rant and I'm sorry, I just hate that my life is 1/4 or more over and I haven't experienced any happiness, satisfaction or accomplishment , with women or in general.I'm stuck in school studying a subject I hate because I'm not good enough at music to make a career out of it. I've grown to hate most of my hobbies but I still do them because theyre the only things I'm competent at. Every time I try to play sports or go to the gym I make a fool out of myself and feel like I want to die. I hate exercise and athletics so much but I still try because I know ill never be accepted by men or women otherwise, no girl wants someone who cant fight or play sports.I spend all weekend alone in bed (since none of my friends invite me anywhere and I dont want to have to be that wierd guy that goes and does things alonr or joins new groups without bringing someone along) Maybe ill go to a coffee shop and play on my phone if I'm feeling bold.I've missed so many developmental milestones my confidence is at an all time low. I hate being such a weak virgin loser but I can't seem to put myself through the pain needed to change. I hate my brain and body for not giving me the willpower to stand up for myself, or go to the gym and NGAF. I hate it that I freeze up in fear whenever someone I know is stronger than me walks by me, I hate that I feel like crying every time I talk to a pretty girl or guy who I know has lived a way more fulfilling life than me and has access to so many social opportunities that I would be thrown out or attacked if I tried to join. I hate being timid and inferior and hopeless.I want to make a girl happy and I hate that because of how unnatractive my life is I can't do that. I suck value from any social situation I'm in because I'm inexperienced and desperate so I never want to be around people and bring down their good time. I wish I could just check out of society and just go live on an island for while. I want to be someone else but my brain wants me to stay as no-one. Does anyone have any advice or encouraging words. I feel like such a failure of a man for not being able to just force myself to exercise or ask out girls.People have told me that since I'm 20 I have a lot of time left to change, but its taken a lot of dedication just to reach the mediocre place I am now, I dont know if I possess what I takes to change myself out of being such a loser no matter how much time I have. I know that just getting a gf won't make me 'happy', but I'm sure ill never be happy with my life if I have to go through it all alone.Thanks for listening. via /r/dating_advice