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eddiesxangel · 11 months ago

Note

Hey!

I’m really bad at explaining stuff so bare with me haha😂

I was thinking that reader is a virgin and has never even kissed anyone, then she starts dating Eddie and he’s her first everything…

Then someday while they’re having sex, Wayne walks in on them and then he tries to talk to them about being safe and something like that 😅

The Sweet Days in the Shire | Eddie Munson x F!Reader

omg, this is so heavily inspired by my own experience...Are you in my walls? this is literally my experience with my current bf now...How did you know?!

Word count: 7.2k oops

Cw: This is NOT a fic about corruption kink. Angst, fluff, f!reader, readers first time (oral, fingering, p in v penetration) , reader and Eddie are 22. Happy ending 🤭

*Five years ago*

"I'm going to die alone," You groaned.

Were you being dramatic? Yes. But you were seventeen and truly felt like the most undesirable girl. No one had ever shown any interest in you. Your best guy friend, Eddie, was trying to convince you otherwise.

You had known Eddie since first grade but only got to know him once you went into tenth grade.

"Come on, don't be like that" Eddie spoke.

You were hanging out in the Shire, a.k.a. Eddie's bedroom, reviewing the new DND campaign, making sure there were no significant loopholes the others could get through.

"It's true! No guy had ever liked me like that, or if they have, they're all weird, and I don't like them back... Remember Lorne? He told me he liked me out of the blue when I hadn't spoken one word to him.'"

Eddie chuckled.

"It's not funny, Eddie! What was I supposed to say? I hardly knew the guy."

"I'm sorry. You're right. It's not funny." But he was still laughing.

"Ugggggggh," you rested your head back in defeat.

"So what if non of these shitty high school guys aren't interested? You're way out of their league."

"You're just saying that as my best friend."

"I'm really not. They are all douchebags or interested in anything other than getting a girlfriend."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Where do you fall in that line?"

"I'm different." He smirked.

All you could do was roll your eyes. Of course, Eddie was different. He was Eddie. Your Eddie. Eddie, who you sprung a teeny tiny crush on within the last couple of months.

"I feel like such a loser, Eds. I'm seventeen and haven't even had my first kiss." You admit, softly.

"What?" This caught Eddie by surprise.

"You heard me." You mumbled.

"Impossible."

"Well, I'm not lying." You snap.

"Don't believe you"

"Well, you don't think I would have told you if some guy came up to me and planted one on me?" You folded into yourself. Succumbing to your self-depreciation.

Why didn't he believe you? Was it really that hard to believe that you were such a loser that no one has even ever tried to kiss you?

"Okayyy. So what if I helped you with that?" he pushed you back up.

"What?"

"I mean-shit- you obviously don't have to; you probably don't want to kiss me. We are just friends. But if you want to get it over with, you can...-I can help you." He rambled.

"Okay," You answered without thinking. You've wanted to kiss Eddie for months. You wanted him to be your first.

"Yea?"

You nodded your head, afraid of what might come out of your mouth next.

"Uh-okay"

You both shift, so you're facing one another. You don't move, unsure of how to approach this. Eddie was much more experienced than you. He probably already lost his virginity at this point. But the two of you never spoke about that.

So here you were, sitting on his bedroom floor, with your eyes closed, like a statue, until Eddie leaned in. You felt his warm, plush lips against yours. Butterflies soared in your stomach. It was just like everyone always described it to be. You felt the connection, that spark. The kiss felt like it lasted hours when, in reality, it was nothing more than a peck. But as far as first kisses go, you were convinced it was the best.

"Wow," you let slip when he pulled away.

Eddie chuckled softly and leaned back on the bed like nothing had happened.

Your stomach dropped at the realization that you and Eddie were, in fact, just friends. He didn't feel the connection you had.

"Thanks," you managed to get out without your voice cracking in disappointment.

"Anytime, Pip." He smiled and then went back to the DND campaign...

To add more salt to your wound, Eddie was arm-in-arm with Veronica a week later. Eddie had never even mentioned interest in her. You spoke every day. You never once hear him display any interest in a girl... another girl when not even six days ago he was kissing you in his bedroom. And that's when you decided to distance yourself from Eddie Munson.

*Present Day*

After a very long four years of college out of state, you were back in your hometown of Hawkins, Indiana. Freshly twenty-two, you finally blossomed into the young woman you were meant to be. At college, you got to find yourself and your people. Once you had found your confidence, you grew into yourself. You had got a haircut that flattered your face and styled yourself with clothes that made you feel comfortable and confident. Before, it used to be all-black jeans and band tees that hid your figure. But now you find wearing skirts, dresses, and colo!

You used to be a late bloomer, but now you have gained many life experiences. However, you still need help in the love department. Your college years had been your party girl era, for sure. However, nothing ever went past a makeout session in the bar because you weren't like that... you wanted to have sex with someone you trusted, who you loved. Not some random stranger.

So here you were, back home in the early days of summer, and you were out job hunting. You'd been out on Main Street, in and out of stores, looking to see who was hiring, handing out your resume for about half an hour.

The sun was scorching for this time of year, causing you to start sweating and feel uncomfortable without air conditioning. As you walked by the local record store, you noticed they were advertising a job opening, and it felt like fate. You breathed a sigh of relief as you stepped inside the cool store. The door chimes jingled, announcing to anyone who was around that a customer had arrived. The store appeared empty, with not a soul in sight.

"Hello?" Your voice filled the empty air. "Hello?" You repeated once again a minute later with no reply.

"I'm here to apply for the job?" You peek around the back of the counter. As you looked over, you noticed a slightly open door. A figure passed by, but they didn't seem to notice you.

You respectfully waited a few more minutes but were becoming impatient. You decided to round the back of the counter and knock on the door labelled Staff Only.

"Excuse me." You knock and push it open a little further so you can see inside the staff room.

You notice a young man facing away from you, wearing headphones covering his ears. The loud guitar and bass sound emanates from the headphones. It's no surprise that he couldn't hear you.

"Excuse me?" You say a little louder, but it doesn't seem helpful. You sigh and walk up to him, hoping he doesn't take a swing at you for sneaking up on him.

Apprehensively, you tap the man's shoulder twice before stepping back quickly before they can react.

"What the fuck?" They rip off the headphones, and your stomach drops as you recognize the voice. Your prediction is confirmed as Eddie turns around with a frightened look on his face.

"You can't be back h-" He cuts himself when the reality of who he was talking to hits him.

"Eddie?" you cock your head in curiosity.

"Oh my God, Pippin?" he smiled brightly.

It had been four years since the last time you saw him. You briefly crossed paths in the hallways of Hawkins High, but the two of you hadn't spoken more than a sentence to each other since the day he kissed you. It was nice to hear his voice again.

"Hi," You smiled.

Eddie swore he heard angels singing when you spoke. You looked different, good, but different. More confident. More like yourself.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Trying to apply for the job posting. I've been waiting ten minutes in the store calling out for someone like a moron." You giggled.

"Shit, sorry, I was just on my break." He scratched the back of his head, letting his bicep flex in his tight band tee.

You tried your best not to stare at him, but your attraction to Eddie lingered. He looked really good, having filled out more and grown out more facial hair than he had in high school. He still, however, had his pretty wavy locks. They were just a bit shorter than you were used to.

"Oh, sorry, I can come back later."

"No!" He blurted out. "I mean, it's really good to see you..."

"It's nice seeing you too; it's been a long time," you shy.

"Yeah" He sighed.

"So are you the person I need to talk to about the job or..." You try to fill the awkward silence.

"Shit, yeah, I guess so. I'm, uh, the manager." He cleared his throat.

"Wow, manager, very impressive! Moving on up in the world, Munson," You laugh.

"Watch is missy; you want the job or not?" He slung his arm around your shoulder and walked you back out to the front of the store.

You couldn't help the shiver that broke through your body when his arm made contact with you. It didn't help that he also smelled delicious.

"Well, if it means I get to work alongside you? ... Yeah, I want it," You flirt.

"Oh, I see buttering up an old confidant for a job." He smirked.

"Things with Eddie returned to normal as if nothing had ever changed. Like you never left. Like he never kissed you, then broke your naive teenage heart.

"Well, the job is yours if you want it." He smiled.

"Just like that?" You ask in shock.

"Just like that. I don't wanna go through all that paperwork and boring questions. I know you, trust you. It's full-time. $5.50 an hour. So it's yours if you think you can stand working with me daily."

"I think I can manage that."

"Great. We can start training tomorrow at 10:00am."

"Deal." You reached out to shake his hand, but Eddie only stared at it like you were crazy.

"Come on, Pippin, a handshake? Who do you think I am? Bring it in." He opened his arms up to embrace you in a hug.

Pippin. No one but Eddie called you that. It was a nickname he gave you in the tenth grade because you were smaller than him... He said Pippin was the best hobbit from his favourite book.

"You know I could have robbed the store, and you wouldn't have known a thing," you quip, trying to play off the way your breath hitched when you embraced him.

Your hormones would have to chill if you were going to work together.

"That's why security cameras were invented, sweetheart."

"Oh," You shied away. You weren't as clever as you had thought.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he guides you out the door.

"Bye, Eddie." You smile.

Over the next three weeks, you and Eddie picked up where you had left off all those years ago. Things were good, great even. The flame that had been blown out was brought back to life and hotter than ever. There was an extreme tension between the two of you.

However, you both were avoiding the elephant in the room. It was fine until it wasn't. It was eating at Eddie. He loved having you back, but needed to know why you left and ended the friendship.

You were stocking up the new supply of jazz cassettes that came in when you felt Eddie come up behind you.

"Hey, so -uh- what happened?" he leaned back on the shelving, as he crossed his arms.

"What do you mean?" you chirp. Did you do something wrong? Was the till not even?

"With us, I mean, one day we were best buds, and then the next you were just... gone. I really missed you."

Oh, so we are having this conversation. You knew it was inevitable.

"You mean you really don't know?"

"Know what?"

"God, men are dumb," you mumbled under your breath.

"Hey! I heard that"

"Good." You deadpan.

Eddie stared at you blankly.

"You kissed me, Eddie. That meant something to me. Then you were with Veronica a week later..."

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, what?" Eddie's eyes went wide with confusion.

"Eddie..." You sighed. This conversation was giving you a headache.

"Pip, I didn't? I wouldn't. I-"

"Forget it, Eddie. It was a long time ago."

"Did you like me or something?" He genuinely asked.

"Or something," You mumbled back.

"Pip, I'm sorry I didn't know... I had no idea you liked me like that. I would have never offered to kiss you if I had known. I never wanted to lead you on."

"It's okay, Eddie. We were seventeen. I eventually got over it, but I had to not be around you to do that. I'm sorry I ran away... I missed you. Like a lot."

"Pip-" Eddie began, but a customer was ready to be rung up at the counter.

The rest of the day was busy, and your shift ended before Eddie's did today. So you quickly said goodbye and waited to talk to him the next day.

Eddie needed to make things right between you. What you had once was so good, and now it seems to be even better than before. Eddie was becoming infatuated with you. He got excited to go to work when you were on schedule. He loved making you laugh; seeing that beautiful smile across your face was his favourite pastime. He could have had that all these years, but it was all ruined for some hot piece of ass Eddie got for a few weeks in their senior year.

Eddie had met Veronica in his grade twelve English class. She was way out of his league, so when she agreed to go out with him, he was only thinking with his dick.

He was thinking about her and how she would be on his knees for him when he kissed you for funsies. He was not thinking about how it would have affected you. He was a selfish teenage boy being controlled by his hormones. Because of that, Eddie was now facing the consequences of his actions all because he wanted to get his dick wet in the twelfth grade.

“Hey Pip, can I talk to you for a sec?” Eddie greeted you when he walked in for his shift mid-afternoon.

“Sure what’s up?” Things were a little rocky since yesterday and you didn’t know where you stood.

God what was this so hard? Why did you make him nervous?

“I uh. I was hoping we could hang out… you know. Outside of work. If you wanted. I wanted to make up for being an ass.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.

"Okay." you smiled.

"Awesome! We are both off on Friday… I made sure.” Eddie said with a goofy smile. God, you were so falling for him again.

You and Eddie have been spending time together outside work every chance you have had for the past six months. He invited you to see your old high school crowd the first few times, and then it slowly became more one-on-ones. Unfortunately for you, your ever-growing crush on Eddie had come back and was stronger than ever.

You hated yourself for falling for him again, but you couldn't help yourself. He was just so charming, boisterous, funny, and not to mention the most attractive man you've seen. Eddie was a natural flirt; he always was throwing compliments your way. He always knew how to make you blush.

That evening during closing, Eddie offered you to come over to The Shire. a.k.a his trailer. After a long, tiring day, both of you wanted some relaxation. He suggested staying in and having a cozy evening with pizza, beers, and perhaps a little weed to escape the cold November weather.

As the night progressed, it began to snow, and a snowstorm was predicted for later in the evening.

"Do you want your usual order, Pip?" Eddie turned his head to glance at you. You were standing near the front door, taking off your hat, scarf, and jacket. As he was watching you, he got lost in your graceful movements. Suddenly, he realized he was staring at you and almost bumped into his fridge.

"Yeah," you shiver. You almost thought about putting your coat back on, but that would be silly. "Can I borrow a sweater or a blanket?" You asked sweetly.

"Of course, sweetheart." Eddie didn't miss the way your nipples perked out of your low-cut t-shirt when you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to warm up, but it only emphasized your breasts.

"Where is Wayne tonight?" You asked.

"He has an overnight shift tonight; he probably just left not too long ago." He said as he disappeared into his bedroom to find you a clean hoodie.

"I'm sorry, I missed him; I haven't seen that guy in years." You huffed. You loved Wayne; he was like a second dad.

"Yeah, he keeps talking you up like I don't already know how amazing you are." He threw the black hoodie at your head.

"Hey!"

I just gave you my sweater and a compliment, I think you should be thanking me."

"Shut up and order the pizza before the storm, Munson." You laugh as you pull the sweater over your head.

You and Eddie settled in, splitting a six-pack of cheap beer and delicious pizza. You wanted to watch a movie after dinner, so Eddie found a few stashed away that he still had yet to return to Family Video.

"How do you feel about horror?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"You know I don't like scary movies, Eds." You whine.

"Well, hate to break it to you, sweetcheeks, but this is all we got, so it's either this... or cable that will most likely be down within the next half hour if the weather keeps up." You glanced out the window, and if you didn't leave now, you were not making it home tonight. The storm had started a lot earlier than anticipated.

"Oh shit, it's awful out. I didn't think it would be this bad so soon! I should go... shit, I've been drinking, we both have! We can't drive!" You started freaking out.

"Pip, you can always crash here. I don't mind." He offered.

"Are you sure?" You twiddled with the drawstrings of the hoodie.

"Of course! You think I would let you go out there?"

"Well... no."

"We can share my bed". He said nonchalantly.

Was he insane?! You can share a bed... with him... you'll want to do things with him. You can't take the rejection again.

"Umm."

"Well, I would sleep on the pull-out couch by Wayne sleeps there."

"It's okay... we are both adults," You swallowed. "Hey, do you have any more beer?" You needed a drink. Desperately.

"Oh, so we are having one of those nights? Edie wiggled his brows at you, and you rolled your eyes in return.

"I need liquid courage for these movies you're going to put me through," You fibbed.

"Don't worry, Pip. I'll protect you."

Two movies and many screams later, you called it. You were maxed out on the spooky stuff. Halloween was long gone, and you were supposed to be in Christmas mode.

"You can get ready for bed first. I'll follow after. Eddie offered.

You slipped into Edie's hoodie and got under the covers, realizing the sweater was long enough to be worn as a nightgown. Eddie would be none the wiser that you had forgone pants.

You called for Eddie to enter, and he got ready for bed. You tried to pretend to occupy yourself as you watched Eddie get undressed and ready for bed. He pulled his plaid pyjama pants over his boxers and forgone a shirt.

There was tension in the air, but neither of you said anything. You held your breath as Eddie turned off the bedroom light and felt the bed dip as he got in.

"Pip?" Eddie broke the silence moments later.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?'

"Sure."

"Did you ever date anyone when you went away?"

"No"

"No?"

"Well...I went on one date, and he was shorter than me..." You laughed at how ridiculous it was. You didn't even like him, but you felt bad because you agreed to give him your number when you were out dancing one night, and you'd consumed a little too much alcohol.

"How is that even possible?"

"Well, you see, Edward everyone has different heights an-"

"No, you doofus," he laughed. "how is it possible you never dated anyone? You're beautiful." He says like it’s obvious.

Eddie made you feel fluttery when he called you beautiful.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful, Pip," Eddie repeated. "You’re a total catch; how are you still single?”

“Guess I never met the right guy…”

“Oh... " It was quiet for a moment then Eddie spoke again. "I know you always said you uh- wanted to you know…. Wait for the right guy and all… so have you slept with anyone since you were gone?”

“Eddie!” you cry, covering your face with your hands. You’re so mortified by this conversation.

“I’m sorry! Can’t blame a guy for his morbid curiosity.” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I can’t believe you remembered that. I mentioned it once six years ago.”

“I remember every thing when it comes to you.”

You felt his fingers intertwine with yours.

“Eddie…” you whisper.

“Yea”

"Ask me again."

"Are you still a virgin?"

You let out a deep sigh before you answered. “I’ve given it a lot of thought. And I want you to be my first.” you blurt out at a mile a minute.

“Pippin-”

“Just don’t go off with another girl next week or else I’m going to have to quit” you chuckle uncomfortably.

“Are you sure? Because if we start this I’m never going to want to let you go… not ever again.” He rolled over to face you.

“I’m so sure, Eddie, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.” You rolled to face him.

You didn’t know where this bravery was coming from. Maybe it was the combination of alcohol and being in the dark, but something sparked inside of you that you couldn’t put out.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please”

You both moved in tandem as your lips collided. Years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that all lead you to this moment, this perfect moment. Eddie and you always belonged together.

“I missed you so much,” Eddie spoke into your mouth as he shifted to hover over you.

“I missed you too. I missed you so much.” You grabbed for him, to touch and feel him. Your hands gripped his hair at the back of his head.

“Baby,” Eddie sat up and slinked his hands under his sweatshirt up your bare middle.

Baby. Goosebumps spread across your body from his touch. His calloused fingers lightly scratched your soft skin, and his hands travelled further up until his fingertips grazed your breasts.

“Can I take this off?”

“Yes,” The temperature in the room suddenly increased, making you feel extremely hot. The hoodie you were wearing became suffocating.

“Sit up for me, baby. Arms up.” You obliged and felt nervous that you were basically naked in front of Eddie. You pull your arms out of the sweater and cover yourself immediately.

“No, baby, please, don’t hide from me.” He gently peels your arms away from your body. “Beautiful,” He whispers with eyes full of lust.

You reached out to cup his face so you could kiss him again. You needed to distract yourself from the fact that you were naked in front of someone for the first time. Your kisses felt rushed and needy like you would die without them.

"Slow down, Pip, we have all the time in the world." Eddie coxed you back down into the plush pillows of his bed. "I'm going to take good care of you. okay?"

You nod your head yes to let him know you understand. The room was dark, but the street light peaked through the blinds. You could hear your heartbeat along with the howl of the wind from the snowstorm. You looked over to the clock. It read 12:18am. Wayne won't be home until early morning, at least 6:00am, especially in a storm like this.

Eddie leaned forward to kiss you again, travelling his lips down your body with each peck. His mouth found your neck, and he sucked on it, making your hips jerk up into him. You could feel his erection against your leg, which only excited you more.

He made his way lower once satisfied with the marking he left on your skin. He nipped and licked and peppered your sensitive chest before latching his mouth around a perked nipple. How Eddie fantasized about this very moment for months. To him, your boobs were perfect. The way your soft skin felt under his tongue, it was like they were made for him.

You let out a squeak, embarrassed by the noises you held back. You didn't know if this was normal? To want to make sounds while Eddie's mouth discovered your body.

"Don't be shy, baby. You can let it go. Get loud. I want to hear you."

"Are you sure, Eddie? Is that like... normal?"

"Oh god, yes, it's like music to my ears... Would it make you feel better if I shared with you what I like?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well." He clasped your hand, intertwining your fingers as he rested his chin on your upper stomach. "I like it when the person I'm with makes noises; it lets me know I'm doing well. I like it when the person I'm with takes compliments and praises. I like it when the person I'm with calls me certain names, but we will save that for another time. And I like it when I get to be in charge... like right now."

"What kind of names?" You bite your lower lip.

"Ah ah, naughty girl. You'll find out eventually. But not tonight." Eddie promised.

"Eventually?" your heart perked up with hope.

"You think this is going to be a one-and-done? You're sadly mistaken, Pip." He shifted his weight and started back up, loving your body. Worshiping it with a thousand kisses. Lower, lower, lower until he reached the hem of your plain black panties.

“Has anyone ever touched you here?” His hand cupped your panty-covered cunt.

“No.” you shiver.

“I’m honoured to be your first” He slowly started to guide and move his hand over your clothed pussy, massaging it. Exploring what makes your body jerk and tick. You let out a gasp as his soft touch grazed over your already swollen clit.

"That's my girl." he cooed as his hand travelled up and under the hemline of your underwear.

His hand slid down your soft, manicured mound before finding your slit. He let one singular finger travel down your clit to collect the wetness that had pooled and dragged it back up to play with you some more.

"Oh my god," You yelped as the unfamiliar but wonderful feeling of Eddie's hands explored your body.

"You're so wet, sweetheart. This all for me?" He raised his hand to examine the clear, wet, slippery substance that coated his fingers. He then stuck his fingers in his mouth before his eyes rolled back into his head. He moaned at the taste of you.

You were curious if you should be turned on or grossed out by Eddie's behaviour. "You taste like heaven." He praised you, and your body ultimately decided for you. You were turned on.

"Please touch me," You barely whisper. You bravely started to take off your panties when Eddie's hands stopped you.

"That's my favourite part." His hands replaced yours, and he watched intently as he stripped you down into nothing.

You were now fully naked in front of Eddie. You were a bit nervous, but not overly concerned. You trusted Eddie because you've gotten to know each other better over the past six months.

"My god, you're beautiful," He praised once again. You don't think you will ever get tired of him saying that. Your heart soared each time without fail.

"So are you," You whispered back and swore you saw Eddie blush.

Eddie's hands found your needy pussy once more. He wiggled his way down the bed, and he played with your clit until his face was level with your cunt. You felt so exposed you wanted to close your legs right away. But you also wanted to know what it felt like to have Eddie's mouth on your most intimate area.

"Show me how you play with yourself."

This shocked you, and your body froze. How could he ask you to do such a crass thing? Eddie sure was pushing a lot of your boundaries tonight.

"Come on, sweetheart. It's okay, perfectly natural."

You didn't want to disappoint him, so with a trembling hand, you started to circle your clit like always. The feeling started as a mild ache in your lower stomach, but it began to rise as you continued. Your worries and apprehensions slowly drifted away as the feeling of pleasure wafted through your body.

"You never push your fingers inside?" Eddie was mesmerized by the sight in front of him.

You shake your head no. "Doesn't feel right." You were too afraid to finger yourself in the past, not wanting to push the limits; you knew how to please yourself from clit stimulation alone.

"I'm about to change that." Eddie replaced your hand with his mouth, and you cried out in pleasure. This new feeling of something hot and wet consuming your pussy made your eyes involuntarily roll back into your head.

"Yes, good girl, let me hear you." He latched his mouth back onto your clit. His tongue circled and flicked your swollen bud until you were on the edge. You were so close, then his finger slowly entered you, and that took on a whole new feeling. His fingers were longer and wider than your own. He stretched and reached further than you have ever experienced.

"Holy shit!" You cried as his fingers pushed deep inside you. Eddie was careful to go slowly. His middle finger pumped in and out of you before he added another. As his finger worked inside of you, you felt a wave of pleasure from a spot you hadn't ever felt before. It made you cry out embarrassingly loud.

"Ohhhh, good job babygirl." He chuckled smugly. Eddie knew that he had found your one spot that would make you see stars. So, he continuously grazed over it again and again.

You didn't know what was happening to you; your body was undulating under Eddie's touch. He struggled to keep your hips pinned down as he continued to devour your pussy. You couldn't think; you couldn't form words. Your brain had gone into a cloudy haze that focused only on your body and how Eddie was making you feel.

No wonder everyone raved about sex.

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie" You didn't even know you were talking.

“That’s it, baby, say my name.”

"Eddie!" Your body clenched, and every muscle in your contract as your orgasm ripped through you. Waves of pleasure pulsed as Eddie's mouth and fingers continued to massage your pussy.

"Mmmm, that's my girl. You did so good for me." Eddie praised, and your stomach did another flip-flop at his words.

"You think you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop? You don't need to worry about me. This is all about you, Pip. Okay?"

"I want to keep going." Your voice sounded breathy, like it wasn't coming from you.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Eddie, I want you to fuck me. Please," you squirmed.

"God, I love hearing those words from your mouth." Eddie bent down to kiss you once again.

.As he kissed you, his mouth had a tangy and slightly salty taste. He explored your mouth with his tongue, just as he had moments before with your lower lips.

"I'm going to go get a condom, okay?" He whispered again to you.

"Okay," you bit your lip with anticipation.

You watched as Eddie shuffled on his knees off the bed to his nightstand and grabbed a blue cardboard box out of his stuffed drawer. He pulled out the foil packet and pulled down his pants and boxers. Your eyes bludged at the sight of Eddie's cock. Sure, you knew what a penis looked like. However, this was your first time seeing one in real life.

"No need to be scared, Pip." Eddie gave a reassuring smile.

"Okay, Eddie," You whispered.

"You can touch me if you want?" He walked over to the bed, cock at full mast. You slowly nod your head and reach out to feel it. Obviously, it felt hard, but you were surprised by the soft skin that felt like velvet.

Eddie made a whimpering sound as your delicate fingers grazed the red tip. You jerked back your hand, afraid you'd hurt him.

"No, no, Pip," Eddie stutterd. "You're okay; it just felt really good s'all."

"Oh," you blushed. Amazed at yourself that you made him feel really good.

"Shit, okay, I'm going to put the condom on now, okay?"

"Okay," you repeated like a parrot.

"Can you lay back for me?" Eddie crawled back up on the bed and over you once more.

You popped back down, and Eddie giggled at your eagerness. He wanted to make this perfect for you, but in your mind he already had. He wanted it to be the least painful he could make it. Hopefully, your orgasm will have helped with that.

"This may hurt a little, but I'm going to go slow, and if you need me to stop or pull out, you tell me, okay?" Eddie's face had never been so serious.

You nod your head.

"No, Pip. I need your words. I need you to tell me you understand. It's important."

Oh.

"I'll let you know if I need to stop. I promise."

"Good girl."

You sucked in a breath and bit your lip at his words. Eddie took a mental note about your reaction. He would tuck it away and save it for later.

"You're already wet enough, I think. I'm going to try and put it in now okay?" Eddie kissed you tenderly and you replied.

The feeling was odd. You felt like you were being split open as your walls burned from being stretched the furthest they have ever been.

"Oh god," Your face scratched as Eddie went in deeper.

"You okay? I can stop"

"No, I can do this. Just stay there a minute." Your body needed time to adjust.

"It's okay," Eddie cooed. He peppered your cheeks with small kisses as he waited for further instructions.

"Okay, I think I'm okay." Your vagina was still tight, but it wasn't as bad as a few minutes ago.

Eddie made sure to be as gentle as possible. Even though it was killing him to not just ram into you repeatedly. Your soft, warm walls were squeezing him so good, too good.

Eventually, after what felt like an hour, Eddie finally reached the hilt. You never felt so full. The feeling was strange yet exciting.

"I'm going to move now, okay?"

He was so patient and kind; you never imagined your first time to be so guided and full of communication. You thought it would just be like boom, stick it in and start. But, no. Not with Eddie.

As Eddie started to rock his hips, the burning started to ease into pleasure. Your hips started moving and rocking with Eddie's body, and you worked together to feel pleasure. Your instincts took over as your thoughts started to numb.

"That's it, baby, fuck, you're making me feel so good." Eddie praised.

"Mmmmm," Was all you managed to get out.

Eddie took that as a sign he could go faster. Thank god he did because the moans that came from you were sinful.

"Yes, baby, be as loud as you want," Eddie commanded before latching his mouth back on the sweet spot he found earlier.

A high-pitched ""Uhhhhhnhhhh" left your mouth as you became more and more cockdrunk by the second. His thick long cock was grazing your walls, finding your g spot that he had reached earlier in the night. Making you yell out his name.

"That's it, baby girl; tell me, who owns this pussy?" Eddie gritted through his teeth, and his pulsing cock pounded into you.

"W-what?"

"Sorry, shit, sorry I got carried away." Eddie kept his rhythm as he forgot that this was your first sexual experience. He couldn't wait to teach you about all his little desires. "you're doing so good for me."

"o-okay"

Your nails lightly scratch up Eddie's back, making him shiver. You then run back down and grab onto his ass. You hugged him like a koala bear, refusing to have this feeling he was giving you to go away. You were so blissed out by it all.

"God baby, I don't think I can hold out much longer," Eddie puffed. His hips never break the rhythm he set.

"Please," you didn't know what you were begging for? You just need him.

"I got you, baby girl; you're being so good for me" Eddie felt your pussy clench down at his words of praise.

"Come on, baby; I know you can give me one more," His hand slipped between you two and found your clit once again. You were so overstimulated that with just a few mild touches, you were falling apart, beneath Eddie.

"Oh fuck, you're squeezing me so good" Eddie tried to hold off, to keep going, to keep fucking you, but he couldn't. Your pussy was so tight around his cock he emptied himself into the condom that was buried inside of you.

Your head felt like it was spinning; your body was limp and racing with those feel-good hormones.

"I'll be right back." He kissed your cheek before getting up off of you after he caught his breath, got rid of the condom and cleaned himself up before returning with a wet cloth for you. But when he returned to the bedroom, you were fast asleep.

He laid the damp cloth on the back of his desk chair and brought the covers back up over the both of you before pulling you into his chest to cuddle you until he fell asleep.

The next morning the snow had finally stopped, and the bright sunlight had peaked its way through the slits of the cheap blinds that hung in the window.

Eddie heard footsteps outside the bedroom door in his hazy, half-asleep state. He peeked in an eye to see you sprawled out comfortably in his bed. He lifted covers to see your still naked body that he didn't really get to see last night due to the pitch black. He could see the marks he had made more clearly as they had gotten darker within the night.

He couldn't help himself. Here you were naked, sleeping with him in his bed; he just had to touch you. He kissed up the side of your exposed neck, marking the other side that had been left untouched. You moaned and squirmed, then giggled when Eddie's hair tickled you.

The reality of where you were hit the second you awoke.

"Oh, Eddie," You softly moaned.

"Good morning, baby," Eddie rolled on top of you, his morning wood more hormonal than ever.

" 'Morning," you smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear before Eddie nuzzled his head behind the small of your neck.

"So I was hopin' that you'd want to go out with me, officially... or whatever?" He cleared his throat. His morning voice was so sexy.

"Or whatever?" you smiled back up at him.

"Or wha-"

"Hey, Ed's, I'm finally back-Holy hell!-" Suddenly, Uncle Wayne was walking into the bedroom, and you were screaming, trying to cover yourself, and Eddie was trying to cover as much of you as he could.

Wayne was mortified as he shut the door behind him as quickly as possible.

"Put a sock on the door next time you have company, Kid!" Wayne shouted, flustered as ever.

Eddie barked out a laugh, and you couldn't be more embarrassed.

"Oh my god, I can't go out there? Do you think I can fit through the window?" You asked Eddie before covering your face with your hands.

"Come on, Pip. I'm sure he didn't see anything; probably only saw my pasty ass." He got up and pulled you along with him.

He found your folded clothes on the chair where you had left them, but when you went to put on your underwear, they were nowhere to be found.

You got dressed without them, and Eddie pulled you out of his room hand in hand to Face Wayne.

"So I guess it was your car all covered in snow." Wayne shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of black coffee. "There uh- coffee for the both of ya's if you want." He offered.

"Thanks." You tugged at your sleeve, not knowing what to do. Should you leave? Should you stay? Can you leave? The show was up to your knees.

"Better make yourself comfortable; the plows will take a while to get to this side of town." Wayne made the decision for you. Eddie guided you to the kitchen table and pulled out a seat for you.

"Wayne, you remember Pippin, don't you?" Eddie smiled brightly as he got you two mugs.

"Of course I do." He smiled genuinely this time. The awkwardness was lifting.

Eddie didn't need to ask how you took your coffee. He remembered two creams and two sugar. He once said it was too sweet, just like you.

"Thanks," you smile up at him as he places your coffee before you.

"I was wondering when the two of you would finally get together... Ever since high school, I've been bugging this one," He motions to Eddie, " To get his head out of his ass and to lock you down already."

"Took him long enough, you giggle"

"Now I know you two are adults, but I don't need no little munson babies running around here just yet, so you better be safe-"

"Okay, okay, Old man, we get it. We have already had this uncomfortable talk once when I was fifteen. I don't need it again."

"Fifteen?!" your eyes blog you're off your head.

"What can I say? The ladies love them some, Eddie." he smiled cockily.

You lightly pinch Eddie's arm, so he shuts up.

"Hey!" Eddie rubbed his bicep.

I knew I always liked you." Wayne tipped up his mug to you with a smile. "keep him in line."

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie musnon smut #eddie munson #eddie munson x virgin!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #request #tj’s mailbox #eddie munson smut #older!eddie munson x reader #older!eddie x reader #eddie munson x innocent!reader #eddie munson x inexperience!reader

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wheeboo · 1 year ago

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seventeen and saying “I love you” for the first time

PAIRING. seventeen (ot13) x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, slight angst?, headcanons/scenarios, established/implied hidden relationship, idol au WARNINGS. some kissing, consistent terms of endearment, just absolute softness dude. WORD COUNT. 3.4k

requested by anon: hi hiii i love your writings and i see the reqs is open. so how do you think svt would say 'i love you' for the first time? like, they're people who's being supervised all the time and very busy, so they're pretty hesitant about whether the relationship will work out or not but then he realizes that it means so much to him after some time.

notes: i hope i manage to capture ur request well aaaa i’m not confident. for this i wrote a lil scenario under each member instead of the usual long ass descriptions, but i thinki veered off the request oops and they get more silly as you read more LOL. sorry this took such a long time and if it seems repetitive! i started running out of ideas alksjderj

choi seungcheol

“Y/N, you don’t need to𑁋”

“cheol, I insist,” you bring your hands to his shoulders, directly him to lay down on the bed. “just rest up, please. let me cook for us tonight, okay?”

seungcheol could only watch as you disappear into the kitchen, coming back in with a steaming bowl of soup. the constant practice and performances ultimately made the stress hit him at once. and you being you, took this as the opportunity to take care of him.

you sit down at the edge, carefully lifting a spoonful of soup and before bringing it to him, grinning at the satisfied hum that leaves his lips.

as you continue feeding him, you ramble on about your day, and he could only listen. it’s these moments he’s grown to cherish where the stresses of his other life dissipate and he lets himself be taken care of, but these burdening feelings for you lingers.

you’ve constantly assured him that taking care of him was a way to show that you want this relationship as much as he does, despite all the consequences. it always brings a certain flutter to his heart, almost like a hug he’s always needed. he’s known the feeling for a while now.

he doesn’t realise you’ve finished talking as he sees you stand up, but he’s quick to grab your hand.

“wait, uh,” he starts, and you see the hesitation flicker in his face for a moment. pursing his lips together, he looks back up at you with nothing but adoration. “you know that I love you, right?”

you blink, nearly dropping the bowl from the way your hands grow limp at his words.

“well,” you smile shyly. “now I do.”

yoon jeonghan

“angel? what are you doing?”

“me?” you ask as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious you were the only person in the room. “just folding your laundry.”

jeonghan can’t help the smile to his face as he enters into the bedroom, placing himself down next to you at the edge of the bed. he could lay down if he wanted to; he finds his body exhausted from rehearsal. but he doesn’t want to lay down yet, at least not without you.

“what do you say I drop by your dressing room before your performance?” you ask him with nothing but hopefulness.

he lifts a brow. “are you sure? don’t you have work tomorrow?”

you smile at him, folding up his last shirt. “nope. called in sick so I can attend your stage. thought you’d need me to charge you up with energy, you know?”

jeonghan’s heart does a particular leap. for nearly every performance that you visit him at, he finds himself continuously clinging onto you for good energy and support. he does it out of spite, simply because he loves the feeling of your body, your warmth, your love against him, like a constant reminder that you are there, and you are real.

“I think I’d love that very much.” he sits closer to you, snaking an arm around your waist once you place his folded shirt down, pulling you closer to him.

and he knows he’s done for when he hears those giggles leave your mouth.

so he leans in close, whispering something in your ear he has always wanted to say for the longest time now.

“but not as much as I love you.”

joshua hong

no matter what day it was, joshua always finds himself waking up in the mornings before you do. even after an exhausting day of rehearsal the previous night, he still wakes up before you.

his eyes flutter open as he peers in your direction, a soft smile crossing his face at the sight of your chest heaving up and down rhythmically. he doesn’t want to disturb you, but you’re just so darn cute and beautiful, and the rest of the day is fortunately free for the two of you.

“sweetheart,” he lets a finger poke lightly at your nose, smirking to the way it crinkles from his touch. “wake up, remember it’s my day off today?”

“mmmh,” you grumble, playfully batting away his hand with yours. “ten more minutes.”

joshua knows he can’t get himself to resist you, so he lays back down in bed directly across from you. he doesn’t fall back asleep, instead only lets his eyes wander admiringly over your features, and he thinks he can wake up like this next to you for the rest of his life, even with his busy career.

he knows the consequences when it comes to love, but he’s willing to love you to himself all he can.

leaning in, he presses a tender kiss to the top of your forehead.

“I love you.” he mutters quietly, and he catches sight of the subtle lift at the corner of your lips.

wen junhui

you find jun napping soundly on the couch. or so you think he is, because the moment you approach up to him, you find a pair of arms lodging around your waist and pulling you into the couch, a surprised yelp leaving your mouth.

“jun! oh my god𑁋what are you𑁋”

“you’re finally home, my little blanket~”

“you are ridiculous,” you murmur annoyingly, but end up naturally relaxing in his arms anyway like you always do. pressing up against him, you let your head fall to the crook of his neck, where it seems to fit perfectly. “long day today?”

you feel the rise and fall of his chest, a deep sigh leaving his lips.

“just tired,” he responds. “but better now that you’re here.”

you smile against his skin. “you know you count on me for anything, right?”

there’s some silence, a silence thick with unspoken thoughts, but it’s mainly jun who can feel it. he knows he can, knows he can tell you anything that comes to his mind and that you’ll listen. it’s just... a bit terrifying being this intimate, this in love with you knowing it can jeopardise his career. but he’s already in deep. he knows he is.

“can I tell you something?” he asks, voice laced with nervousness.

he feels you nod in his embrace.

taking in a deep breath, he pulls back to be able to see you.

“I... I love you,” he confesses, feeling the heaviness lift off his heart. “been wanting to say that for a while.”

and if it was possible for your heart to smile as well, nothing stops you from kissing him.

kwon soonyoung

“would we still be together if I was on a five-year long tour?”

“mhm.”

“what if I had to move countries?”

“of course.”

“even if I turn into a tiger?”

“surprisingly, yes.”

a pause.

“...would we still be together if I wasn’t an idol?”

“a million times yes, soonie.” you grab his soft face in your hands, giving a gentle squeeze to his cheeks. “I can assure you we would still be together no matter what.”

that was all the reassurance he needed. soonyoung can’t help the excitement bubbling in his chest as he’s quick to lean in and pepper your face with kisses, causing chuckles to elicit out your lips as you fall down on the couch behind with your boyfriend hovering above you, staring down at you with loving eyes and a goofy, lovesick smile.

“gosh, I love you so much, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips. “and I’m gonna tell you that for the rest of the night.”

jeon wonwoo

“no, no, what if someone saw us? I should have been more careful, I’m so sorry𑁋”

“Y/N,” wonwoo’s voice is firm and demanding, and you make yourself shut up. “it’s okay.”

“but𑁋”

“darling,” he grabs your hand into his, letting the other drift up to cup your cheek softly. “we’ll be okay, I can promise you.”

“I𑁋but what if this ruins your career?” you ask him, feeling the way his fingers are caressing over your knuckles. it calms you down just a bit. “what if me accidentally holding your hand just...”

wonwoo sighs and leads you over to the couch where you both settle yourselves down next to each other. he knows the probable consequences of getting caught, but he cares more about you than what some stupid news dispatch claims. they can say anything, and he’d still be willing to protect you more than himself.

“don’t be scared, okay? even if we were caught...” he hesitates, lips forming a thin line as you wait for him to continue. “it still doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you, because I love you, and I want this. I want you.”

you feel your lips quiver, some streams of tears running down your face. you can’t get the words out, so you bring him in your embrace for a warm hug, hoping to convey how much you love him as well.

lee jihoon

“babe, this sounds great.”

jihoon just smiles proudly, posture leaned back in his chair as he watches your head bob up and down to the melodies and the sound of his beautiful vocals traveling throughout his studio. you have a hand at the tip of his knee, giving him gentle squeezes each time you got more into the music.

if only you knew that you were a source of inspiration for too many of his songs. too many that he could count.

“thank you,” he says sheepishly. “I managed to whip it up in two hours and was thinking about bringing up with the others.”

“if I love it, I’m sure they will too,” you reach over to grab his hand ressuringly. “and I’m not being biased, I’m serious.”

there’s a particular shift in his grin that you notice. it feels more... fond, moreso admiration even though you should be the one admiring him for this. though jihoon has his challenges in voicing his emotions, sometimes you can just tell from his face.

“okay, I should head home,” you stand up, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “call me later, alright?”

“text me when you get home safe,” he tells you, helping with grabbing your belongings before walking you to the door. once you’re in the door frame, he lowly mutters out under his breath, “...I love you.”

you catch it, but just barely, yet you unconsciously respond with, “I love you too,” before turning back to him with a look of shock and wide eyes. “wait, what?”

xu minghao

a yawn leaves minghao’s mouth as he inputs the code to his apartment. but when he steps inside, he’s immediately met with the familiar aroma of food lingering around him coming from the kitchen. when he walks himself into the kitchen, his eyes grow wide.

“Y/N?” his voice makes you freeze as if you were caught committing a crime, letting his gaze fall to the dining table. “what’s all this?”

“shoot, I didn’t expect for you to come home early,” you scratch at your head, placing down the dish in your hands before walking up to him. “I... uh, tried cooking some of your favourite foods. it was supposed to be a surprise.”

minghao just smiles and approaches up to the dining table with you cowering behind him nervously. his eyes scan over the array of dishes meticulously prepared with love and care, feeling like a fresh wave of home hitting him.

“you know you didn’t have to grow through all this trouble for me.” he turns back to you.

“I know, but I do,” you tell him with a heartfelt smile. “it’s just... a way to show how much I care when you’re gone, since you always come home tired.”

his face only softens. stepping up to you, he places both of his hands firmly at your waist, and he feels you tense up for a split moment before finally relaxing. brushing back some stray hairs from your face, a grateful sigh leaves his lips.

“I love you,” he tells you, suddenly feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. “thank you for everything you do for me.”

kim mingyu

“gyu, get off me.”

“no can do.”

“but you have to go to work.”

“you are more important than work.”

you haven’t had your morning coffee, and your puppy of a boyfriend won’t get off of you, finding most of his body sprawled on top of yours so you’re basically flattened to the bed. at least he had the decency to give you some room to breathe and move, but just barely.

he’s clingy, but not this early in the morning𑁋well it’s usually after you’ve had your morning coffee, but it’s clear you haven’t yet and he’s been glued to you since the moment you woke up. you feel his lips meet the skin of your face, planting soft kisses on your cheeks and forehead to try and coax a smile out of you.

“you’re... suffocating me, gyu.” you squirm just a bit, before his arms circle around you, and you find himself laying right next you on the bed.

“sorry,” he nestles himself up against you. “just don’t want to leave you.”

you run a hand through his messy hair, peering down wonderingly at the way he’s cuddling himself against you. “is everything okay? you’re not usually this clingy. well, you are it’s just𑁋”

“if I say it, will I get a kiss?” he sits up in bed, gazing at you with those desperate eyes that you just have to cave in.

you sigh. “yes, you big boy, I’ll give you any kiss you want.”

mingyu bites at his bottom lip nervously, knowing he has to get it out or else he can’t take it anymore. it’s all that ever clouds his thoughts whenever he takes a single glance at you. he knows it all: the consequences, the hate comments, but the only thing that could break his heart would be to separate from you.

and so he leans in, his breath grazing against the skin behind your ear.

“it’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone,” he whispers. “but I love you.”

lee seokmin

“seokie?”

immediately, seokmin takes his attention of his phone to turn towards you, a mixture of worry to his face. he sets his phone on the bedside table to give you his undivided attention.

“what’s wrong, sunshine?” he asks you, already opening his arms for you to settle in.

you give in, allowing the protection of his arms encircle around you.

“nothing, it’s just...” you glance up at him. “do you think you can sing me to sleep?”

for some reason the simple request was enough to send seokmin’s heart into overdrive. nothing but a wide smile crosses his face as he nods, allowing you to settle back down on the pillow as he props himself up on his elbow next to you.

he starts to hum a slow lullaby, containing a familiar melody of a seventeen song that you recognise. his voice carries an undertone of affection, his words unspoken yet deeply felt. he watches the way your eyes flutter to a close as he begins to reach the end of his lullaby. if it was possible and if you’d let him, seokmin knew he could do this for the rest of his life. he wants to use his voice to not only bring joy to his fans, but to convey the love in his heart.

at the very last line of the song, he leans in close to be able to whisper in your ear.

“I love you so much, sunshine. dream about me, okay?”

boo seungkwan

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” there’s a mixture of surprise and a hint of panic in seungkwan’s voice as he notices you standing at the entrance of the rehearsal room. luckily it was only him and his members in the room.

“I was in the area, so... I brought you some food,” you hold up a bag from behind your back. “wish I could have brought more for the other guys, but... yeah.”

his eyes widen from your thoughtfulness as you reach an arm out to transfer the bag from your hands to his, and he swears he can feel his heart swell beyond his own chest.

you peer behind him to the other guys laughing and minding their own business, while seungkwan in front of you seems completely frozen in time. there’s a blush to his cheeks that you notice and reach out to pinch, making him come back to reality.

you give him a smile. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

but as you are about to turn around, he exclaims, “wait!”

and when you look back at him, he feels his tongue go dry. he’s been rehearsing this line for the past few weeks𑁋in front of the mirror and everything𑁋but your gaze on him always makes those words land right at the tip of his tongue, unable to come out.

“uh...” then he steps up closer, glancing back towards the guys before back at you. even though it may not be the right time and the right place to say this, he does anyway, “I love you, thank you for the food.”

you can’t help the chuckle to your lips as his face turns even redder, and the kiss that you place to his warm cheek doesn’t help at all.

vernon chwe

“hey, babe.”

“hey.”

it’s the only exchange you and vernon share before he drops himself on the bed, letting his head rest in your lap, a contented sigh leaving him. naturally, you run your fingers through his hair. you can tell that he’s tired from today.

you and vernon have always had the ability to see how the other feels without words. he can see a quiver to your lips and tell you are frustrated, or you can collapse in his arms and he’ll let you hold him while he’s doing something else to recharge.

but he’s been too quiet lately, you’ve noticed, only exchanging the simple hello’s, goodbye’s, and kisses to each other’s lips without saying anything more since he had to rush work. it’s been troubling you, but him laying in your lap has relieved you... sort of.

“everything okay?” you ask him. “you’ve been... awfully quiet today.”

“yeah, just... work, you know?” he answers, but you can sense the hesitation in his words.

you think for a moment, before asking, “want to talk about it?”

vernon pauses, and you feel like you can physically see him thinking. he sits up from your lap, criss-crossing his legs together before turning around and facing you.

“um, you don’t have to respond, but uh...” he rubs the back of his neck meekly. “...would you freak out if I told you that I love you?”

you stare at him blankly, or lovingly, you don’t know, but you feel your heart doing jumps inside your chest and it’s starting to hurt.

“I’m freaking out from how long I’ve waited for you to say that.”

lee chan

“I love you, Y/N,” chan announces... to the mirror at himself. “or should it be like, ‘I’m in love with you’ or ‘I want to spend the rest of time’𑁋agh, that sounds so cheesy.”

he brings his hands up to his face frustratingly. why is it so hard to simply say how he feels about you TO you? he’s known how he feels for a long time, even with the other members constantly telling him how he has to be careful and all that, or how something like this could make or break his career, but chan know they’re just looking out for him.

he’s been torn between his career and your relationship, knowing both are equally important to him. but the longer he’s been with you, the more this feeling bubbles inside of him.

“I’m in... love with you,” chan tests. “I love you with𑁋”

“chan?”

“𑁋oh gosh!” chan yelps out, turning his body around and noticing you through slightly open doorway of the bathroom.

you furrow your brows, eyes flicking over your boyfriend’s forced smile. “are you okay? I thought I heard muttering.”

“yeah, I was just... rehearsing my speech,” chan pauses for a second. “...just in case we win today?”

you roll your eyes. “cute,” then approach up to him, fixing some of his strands of hair with your finger. “I wish I can make it to your stage to support you, but I know you’ll kill it anyway.”

you tell him something about your work, but chan only keeps his eyes fixated on you. and as you were about to leave, he swiftly grabs your hand.

“Y/N,” chan starts, and you see him noticeably swallow. “you know you mean a lot to me, right?”

you turn back to him, intrigued. “I sure hope I do.”

“okay, and since you mean a lot to me, I know you’ve been my number one support,” he continues, feeling all the words spilling out. “and you’re just... so pretty, so funny, you always make me smile, and I think that... I love you. not think! I do... love you.”

you could only stare at him, wide-eyed, pinpointing the vulnerability in his own eyes, and you feel your heart swell enough to bloom a smile on your face.

planting a kiss to the corner of his lips, you utter out, “I love you too, chan.”

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao

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bleue-flora · 6 months ago

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I mean maybe. There are a lot of assumptions there to be fair. In fact, while sort of implied that they killed eachother in some capacity in experiments with the revive book, that's not necessarily confirmed. We can probably safely assume they both died at least once, but after that is more (not unreasonable) speculation. It's also not really confirmed when the experiments on each other happened, which I saw someone highlight makes more sense to actually be post prison that way Dream has the standard three lives in the staged finale. Also, I'm not so sure doomsday, the prison or even staged finale depended on Punz, I see no reason why Dream couldn't have planned his arrest another way. Punz’s betrayal part of the finale was to protect Punz, but Dream doing the rest I don’t think depended on Punz’s existent nor participation.

Regardless though, I think yes, Punz and Dream are aligned in their goal, but Punz was his ally for a long time before the revive book [clip] so I see the revive book as a shared passion between friends. Punz is Dream’s friend, Punz agrees with Dream’s stance on things and his motive “100% I agree.” [clip] so yea if Dream thinks the revive book is going to get them there then you can count him in. Not just as blind devotion but because they think alike and are both working towards this goal together. But if Dream no longer saw the revive book as being the answer I don’t know if there is a lot of evidence to support Punz disagreeing, who knows.

So, Dream shared the revive book with Punz because he knew he could trust and depend on him, they had been working together for ages after all, however if Punz was not an option then who's to say Dream wouldn't find someone else to bring him back. He's smart, I don't find it hard to imagine him working with someone else either by black mail insurance or because of their strong desire and passion for immortality or something. In other words, people were trying to kill him, have been from the very start so a revive book was a necessity to study and have someone to bring him back. That isn't dependent on Punz.

And I guess my point was also, could Punz have really stopped Dream’s behavior anyways? Or well, what was Punz supposed to do? Leave Dream? What is the alternative? Is it not better to stick by him and try to minimize how far Dream goes and such from the inside instead of not being involved altogether? What would’ve happened if Punz had said no? And how do we know he didn’t try to? We don’t know for sure.

What we do know is that Punz has had Dream’s back from the very beginning and it’s only when he isn’t there that things go so very wrong. It’s only when Punz is forced to not help and betray Dream that he loses canon lives. It’s only when Punz is no longer allowed to protect Dream that Dream’s self-destruction is unmitigated like with the prison.

Having said that, yes technically speaking by bringing Dream back in revive experiments Punz would be enabling Dream’s death. By definition, making Punz a tragic accomplice to Dream’s destruction.

But I think, in general the way I see it is that with or without Punz, Dream was always going to like self destruct. There was never a way out for Dream with or without Punz. Some things I think were inevitable to a certain extent or at least things Punz couldn’t change. Dream was always going to die, sooner than later and while Dream certainly is hard to kill, Punz is a reason I think it didn’t happen sooner. And I don’t think Dream’s experimentation in whatever form that happened was dependent on Punz being his ally and encouraging it. Especially because Dream is stubborn and a skilled adapter.

There’s something compelling and tragic to me about how, while Punz’s loyalty to Dream is self-evident, it’s also true that Punz is never able to meet Dream at his own level and be the kind of ally Dream needs. Punz is the guy who supported the harebrained scheme that was staged finale; he was the piece of insurance that made Dream feel secure enough to go to his death, not just once but many times, not just literally but metaphorically. The revive book experiments weren’t possible without Punz, nor was Dream’s imprisonment. This ambiguity deepens in LN5, where Punz’s obvious personal investment in revenge on Dream’s behalf nearly turns deadly: it’s not the kind of intervention a deeply traumatized Dream needs, but it’s all Punz can offer (it’s all anyone offers).

Punz can’t admit that the Plan is a poison and a suicide, because he embodies that plan. There was no way out for Dream while he remains committed to their way forward as the only way. Punz can’t get Dream to leave the prison. All he can do is resurrect him inside.

this is why c!drunz slaps btw (and all that’s without even touching the professional ambiguity: the boundaries of their relationship and the vulnerabilities Dream won’t allow even when Punz has his life in his hands.)

#I feel I may be rambling now… oops #anyways…. hopefully that made sense….#I’m just saying punz tried ok but look there’s only so much you can do for a crazy green boy targeted by the whole server….#c!dream #dsmp #dreblr #dream smp #dsmp analysis #c!punz #c!stagedduo #c!drunz #no one does it like c!dream #okay not gonna lie the more I think about it the more I’m really starting to like the idea of dream killing himself #and forcing punz to bring him back…

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lexirosewrites · 3 months ago

Text

it’s my two year Steddie-versary today?!!!

(which means I’m gonna ramble emotionally for a little bit)💛

I’m not really sure how to fully describe the last two years of my life and my involvement in the steddie fandom, but I’ll try!

I remember watching season four of ST and really liking Eddie, thinking he was so cool. I’d always liked Steve, but putting them together was a whole different story. And then I recall seeing fanart, finding a couple fics here and there.

I wasn’t aware how deep I’d gotten until I was drafting a fic of my own, eager to join the fun any way that I could. It had been years since I’d written anything of my own, but I was lonely and bored enough to try.

I drafted my first fic “All Through The Night” for a month.

I wrote it. Rewrote it. Edited it. Doubted whether it should stay in the drafts. Finally, I just hit post.

From there, it kept going. I’d write a few non-omegaverse fics based on TikTok prompts. Then, I’d end up delving into the omegaverse trope in a way I never had before.

I started to remember how much I enjoyed writing and I found a community that was kind to me. I made friends in the AO3 comments of all places!

It was a few months before I joined ST twitter in December of 2022, but I was encouraged to hang out and make more friends.

(I don’t need to rehash the bad parts of my experience because I think we’re all pretty aware of what happened. But I don’t want those things to define me or spoil all the good that’s come from this fandom either. Bullies don’t get to take this from me.

I wasn’t super active on Tumblr prior to my Twitter leave because I didn’t really understand the app😅 we figured it out eventually and I am so grateful to have been welcomed here when I was feeling so low.)

I figured out a lot about myself in this fandom! I identified as a cis, bi-questioning woman when I started writing!! That’s insane to me now!

But I found a place to explore and meet other queer people and ask questions that I would’ve never asked!

I was leading worship at a mega church when I posted my first fic. I was freshly separated from my ex-husband and still hurting immensely. I was working through a pandemic as a nurse and hating my life. I didn’t have much that brought me joy anymore.

This silly gay ship probably saved my life…

And I know I’ve been semi-MIA as far as posting to AO3 the last several months, but I have no intentions of leaving this fandom anytime soon. I will not abandon my fics or disappear. I just need a little bit of a break because I burnt myself out on writing for a year and a half!

God this post went way too long. Oops.

Okay! In summary! Today is my two year Steddie-versary and I love you all!!! I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made and the support I’ve had to share my stories.

(also tbh I cannot believe I tricked this many of you into reading mpreg)

#lexirose rambles as much as they write #steddie

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donutz · 9 months ago

Note

yeah fs! It would be alr if you did one where reader continuously like rub Catnap's ears! ^.^

Okay! ^_^

Catnap x touchy(not weirdly) reader

—☆You are a human in this

Being a little kid, who’s an orphan, at a big place with a bunch of toys can make you quite interested in things. There’s a lot to explore, people to meet, toys to see, and a bunch of colors to look at.

When you’re basically living in this factory, you can get bored. Even with everything that’s going on.

But if you’re being taken care of by some toys? You can’t really get bored.

Especially at 5 years old.

There’s these animals, called Smiling Critters. And they take care of you! They all love and cherish you. You were shy, but they really brought out your social side.

Anyways let me stop rambling, there was this cat. That cat didn’t interact with the children, unless it was bedtime. But during the day, he was gone.

Well, not completely. Sometimes he was but you have no idea where he was at those times. When he was actually here, just not interacting with kids, you’d always see him in a high place. Watching everybody.

But when you stare at him for too long, he moves. Yet you still find him every single time.

You wished he didn’t run away from you :(.

Since you’re a good kid, you went to sleep at the times you were supposed to.

But since he came out when you’re supposed to sleep. One night, you decided to stay up and roam the halls.

“Why are you gonna stay up?”

“Because I wanna see the kitty!” You whispered to your friend.

“What kitty?”

“The one that comes out at night!”

Your friend was a little wary after hearing that, they didn’t know that!

“That’s spooky…”

“Well I like cats!”

“Are you gonna come with me?”

They shook their head, making a mumbled, ‘auh auh’ (Idk, I tried my best trying to give that a word)

“I’m too sleepy…”

“Okay!”

Then, after that you waited, until it was bedtime. You opened the door, looking at both sides, making sure there wasn’t any other critter lurking around.

Then, you stepped out.

It was quite cold in the halls, but it was fine you had your robe, long pants and slippers.

You looked back one second, turned around and there he was!

You let out a gasp, “Kitty!” And gave him a hug.

He looked at you, processing. Why were you hugging him?

Whatever. You needed to sleep. But they said to not use the gas. He doesn’t care about what they say, but he didn’t want to give you nightmares.

Plus, you were pretty warm.

So to not let go of that warmth, he picked you up.

“Oh! Kitty you’re so strong—!” He looked up at you, carrying you with one arm, he put a finger over his wide smiling mouth.

“Oops, sorry.. ^_^” He carried you over to your room, wait. Where was your room?

Great, now he had to ask.

“Where’s… Your room..?”

“Oh, I don’t know!”

“O-kay.”

He could take you up to the ‘adults’ but—

You started petting his ears. “Your ears are so fluffy!” You said while whispering.

Out of his control,(kind of) he started purring. You let out another gasp, “You purr too?”

“...”

“You really are a kitty!”

Fun fact, you loved cats.

Another one, you just might be his favorite kid.

Since he didn’t want to take you to the adults, and didn’t know your room number(even if your friend tells you multiple times) he took you to his critter room. Even if no kids were allowed in there.

All of the critters were asleep, except for him, of course.

He placed you on his bed, and went on it too.

And he stared. Waiting for you to sleep.

“Oh yeah, what’s your name kitty?”

“... Theo…”

“(°〇°), Theo.. That’s a cool name..”

He got off his bed and started to leave. Because of this, you did it too, and followed him. Though he knew you were doing this he didn’t stop.

He randomly sped up and ran to another place. It was so abrupt, you weren’t able to catch up!

By the time you turned a corner, he was gone. But his lavender scent wasn’t. You followed and followed it.

Until it led to the school. Even if you’re not supposed to go there at bedtime, you wanted to catch up with Theo.

And you can want to catch up with Theo at any time!

Oh great! You found him!

But he was bigger. Lankier. He wasn’t the smaller and plush cat you just saw.

That’s still Theo.

So you didn’t care, you followed and followed, until it led you to a big play area, with different colored soft blocks used as a structure.

This place is really big. Anyways, Theo!

You saw him go to this smaller area, you went inside and saw him. Sitting, bending over just to see you.

“Theo!” You exclaimed, raising your hands in celebration.

Of course, you gave him a big hug.

“That was a nice game of tag! But I’m sleepy…”

Theo used his long tail to grab you, gently. He brought you to his bed, and sat you there.

“Oof!” Then he wrapped himself around you, cuddling against you.

You turned around and laid against him.

“You’re so warm, Theo.” You softly held his tail. And as you went to sleep, you could hear a loud purr.

After that, you found Theo every time he was hiding, but instead of just looking you called his name.

But every time you did, he left.

A day after that he told you to not call him out. Just stare at him. But when he’s down, actually on the ground, you could come to him, but call him Catnap.

He doesn’t want them to get mad at him again.

And now almost routinely, because sometimes you wanted to just sleep, you went out of your room at bedtime just to see him.

It got so bad that he even allowed you to just hug, rub his ears, and play with his tail whenever.

He even started coming down even more. Just for you.

The critters noticed, Dogday even asked about it but Theo stayed silent.

You were special. Special to him.

Even after all these years. Even after getting adopted. Even after you arrived.

Coming back to the place that was once called home.

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime x reader #smiling critters #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #gn reader #dogday #catnap #catnap x reader platonic #catnap x child reader platonic #platonic #catnap x touchy reader #catnap x touchy child reader

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alexiroflife · 5 months ago

Text

‘don’t hate me’

“Across the Earth” Part 2: satoru gojo x reader

part 1 | part 3

Synopsis: satoru struggles with your constant anger at him and ponders if you've ever cared about him the way he cares about you. his temporary solution to his conflict is to force you along with him to his villa

to sum it up: "why can't she love me?"

WC: 8,821

“Wakey, wakey!”

You groan as the blare of the sun irritates your eyes until you open, unsure of whether the voice that sang into your ear moments ago was a hallucination inspired by your sleepy state or not.

You rub your hand over your eyes, stretching your arms out and rolling over to find Satoru leaned over, his face inches away from yours with a dopey smile.

You screech, jumping up and shuffling to the other side of your bed, eyes wide as your vision adjusts to the blue eyed man’s figure standing at the edge of your bed with a to-go bag in hand. He chuckles to himself, looking over you mischievously. “Oops, didn’t mean to scare you.”

You grumble incoherently to yourself, adjusting to your steady regain of consciousness. You turn to look out the window and see that it is still early morning by the way the sun sits in the sky. You sigh and crawl over to your nightstand to reach for your phone, eyes hazy when you catch the time reading 9:05.

“What are you doing?” you exhale tiredly, throwing your legs over the edge of the bed and looking up at Satoru with sleepy eyes as you scratch your head. You miss the way he stumbles over his words slightly and averts his gaze for a second before he’s placing the paper bag he held onto your lap.

“Wishing you a happy morning,” he says. “I got you breakfast.”

You furrow your brows, peering into the bag’s contents to find a lox bagel with cream cheese, something you had loved for years. You blink, reaching in to grab it instantly, your mind fixing solely on hunger that bubbles at the sight of the bagel.

“You would not believe the line I had to wait in to get this thing. New Yorkers are so bossy, pushing each other around and yelling for no reason that early in the morning,” Satoru rambles about his first experience at a bakery in the city. “This one guy almost took off my head because I tried to move around to see the display case. He thought I was cutting the line or something.”

“You went out this morning?” you ask softly, peering up at him as you grasp the large bagel in your hands.

“Yeah, just got back,” he answers casually.

You hum in appreciation. “Thanks, Toru,” you say mindlessly before taking a huge bite.

Satoru’s cheeks warm slightly and he’s waving you off like it’s nothing. “So, what time are we heading out?”

You look at him inquisitively, mouth full. “We?” your muffled voice repeats.

“That’s what I said.”

You don’t have the capacity to ask further right now as you still wake yourself up. “In ‘firty I go,” you tell him, mouth full.

He snickers. “Thirty minutes?”

You nod.

“Alright then, you go get dressed and I’ll wait for you out here,” Satoru makes his way to the doorway leading to the living room. You furrow your brows, swallowing harshly.

“Wait,” you stop him. “What do you mean? Where’s Suguru and Shoko?”

“Out to breakfast.”

“...Why aren’t you with them?”

“Cause I was getting you breakfast.”

“But,” you shake your head. “Why are you waiting for me? You know I have somewhere to go soon.”

“Oh, that’s because I'm coming with you,” he smiles and you straighten up, perplexed.

“What?”

“I wanna see where you’re working.”

You purse your lips. “I don’t think that’s…”

“And I want to visit the museum.”

“...Okay, then can’t you visit later?”

Satoru tilts his head back over his shoulders, casting you a sarcastic gaze. “Why? ‘You pushing me away again already?”

“Um- no?! It’s just not professional for me to pull up to a meeting with my friend hanging around!”

He smiles. “Relax, I’ll be good. It’ll be like I’m not even there.”

“No, Satoru,” you stand, putting your bagel down to rummage through your drawers for an outfit. “I’ll see you after, but you can’t come with me.”

“Come on,” he complains dramatically. “Not even for a little bit?”

“No.”

“What if I just take a peek inside?”

“I said no.”

“Can’t you at least let me drive you there?”

You halt, turning to look at his pleading eyes. “And what about our friends who are out?”

“I can always go pick them up when they’re done,” he persuades. “Come on, come on,” he drawls. “Let me give you a ride, pretty please with a cherry on top?”

You exhale, pressing your lips into a straight line. “Alright, fine!” you begrudgingly accept. “But just one ride, and you don’t go inside. Got it?”

“How about two rides, one and there and back,” he presses.

“I don’t know when I’ll be done or what I’m doing after, Satoru.”

“Sure you do, you’re hanging with us, remember?” he reminds you of last night’s conversation.

“I never agreed to that.”

“That’s too bad, I wasn’t asking,” he grins.

“God, you’re so annoying! Okay, sure, whatever, two rides. But that’s it, you hear me? You’re not going into that museum while I’m meeting there.”

“Ugh, you wound me,” he frowns theatrically. “But I suppose that’s okay.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go away while I get dressed,” you dismiss him. “And take a shower while you’re at it.”

Satoru’s face falls in horror. “Do I stink?!”

You pinch your nose and pucker your lips in fake disgust. “Not yet, but the longer you keep those clothes on from yesterday without bathing, you will.”

“You’re so mean,” he pouts. “At least you don’t hear me saying anything about your morning breath.”

You grit your teeth, picking out a pair of random jeans and chucking them at the white haired man who caught them in his hand with ease. “Get out now!”

He laughs, turning to take your pants with you. “You’re not getting these back,” he sings, pulling the door closed behind him.

The two of you are refreshed and dressed on time for you to make it to the museum with a few minutes to spare. Satoru walks you to his rental car parked on the side of the street a few blocks down, a sleek black convertible with no hood greeting your sight.

You stare at the vehicle in agitated awe as Satoru holds the passenger seat door open for you, lenses of his dark glasses gleaming like the pride in his blue eyes as he watches your expression. “After you,” he says with a goofy tone.

You scoff, stepping into the car cautiously. There are times when Satoru’s wealth, though a constant fact nagging in the back of your head, truly astonishes you. This is the same guy who drops thousands at the mall every other weekend for fun when the group tags along, showering his money into registers like it’s nothing. And of course, there’s the fact that Satoru planned and booked a trip across the world within a day and managed to find a rental car and a villa that suits his expensive tastes. You roll your eyes. He’s so obnoxious with his money at times.

“You’re insane,” you mumble and he giggles, shutting the door behind you and rounding the car to step into the driver’s seat.

Despite Satoru’s privilege, however, he is and always has been a very very poor driver. You are sorely reminded of this fact when he weaves through the already hectic streets of New York, honking impatiently with his arm slung over the side and nearly ramming into bumpers at a stoplight, his driving matching his carefree personality and the chaos of the city rather well. You simply pray that you won’t die in the passenger seat of his car.

As some time passes, you look over and catch a glimpse of his stunning side profile as he drives, loose sweater teasing his collarbone and neck muscles while his veiny hand grips the wheel tight, fingers occasionally running over and thrumming against the leather.

Your eyes then drift down to his exposed forearms, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His muscles tense every now and then with the rotation of the wheel, his head throwing over his shoulder to glimpse behind him before merging sloppily.

He catches your eyes once as you’re staring, and you’re quick to look away, clearing your throat and hardening your eyes. It’s his turn to look at you now, seizing his opportunity when he hits another red light.

His blue eyes roam over your face, studying the curve of your brow and the subtle pout in your plump lips. He breathes in slowly, chest rising as the sight of your face makes his heart skip a beat. You blink a lot, he notices, your lashes fluttering against your soft cheeks, the curve of your cheekbone brightened by the glow of the morning sun.

He sees you turn to face him, round (e/c) eyes reaching his and making his throat run dry. He doesn’t look away, and his hearing is muffled until you nudge his shoulder harshly. Suddenly, the blare of car horns and your urgent voice registers.

“Satoru!” you shout. “The light!”

He looks up and sees that it has turned green and the car in front of him is long gone. He snorts, immediately slamming into the gas and jerking the two of you into motion. “Whoops,” he grins, and you’re flicking his forehead.

“Being in the car with you is a threat to my life, I swear,” you roll your eyes, turning to hide your flushed face.

“Wouldn’t you rather be with me than in a taxi?”

“What do you think?”

Satoru chuckles. “Sucks for you then, because as long as I’m around you’re riding with me.”

“Gee, I’m so lucky,” you quip sarcastically.

“I know right?”

After a grueling fifteen minutes, you finally pull up to the sidewalk by the museum behind a row of cabs. Satoru puts the car in park and leans over you to look up at the building over his glasses. “Wow,” he comments. “You must be losing your shit over this, huh nerd?”

“Insult me all you want,” you say. “I’m having a great time here.”

“I’m sure you are,” he hums. Your eyes scan the steps to the MET swiftly before you spot Aoto to the left while Satoru examines the area curiously.

“Oh! I see Aoto,” you announce, unbuckling your seatbelt and slinging your back over your shoulder.

Satoru’s brows pinch together, his gaze attempting to follow yours to locate your research partner. “Where?”

You point out to the brunette dressed in a light button up and slacks, seemingly waiting for your arrival. “There,” you say. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll text you when I’m done.”

“Hold on,” he stops you, grabbing your arm gently to keep you from leaving just yet. You look at him with a strange expression.

“What is it now?”

“Well, it’d be rude of me not to introduce myself now that I’m here,” he says flatly.

“Why would you need to do that?”

“To be polite.”

“But he doesn’t even know who you are.”

“Exactly, hence introducing myself,” he says, looking at you blankly.

You don’t have the opportunity to stop him before he’s honking his horn, waving into the air aggressively and calling out to Aoto. Your eyes go wide and you turn to grip his extended arm to lower at, hissing at him to shut up, but it’s too late.

The commotion catches Aoto’s attention as well as the attention of many others. You watch the brunette turn into your direction, scrunching his face oddly before releasing it when he sees you next to the odd white haired man calling him over.

You panic when he heads your way, slapping at Satoru’s chest and knee. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” you hiss, and he’s smirking evilly.

Aoto steps down and approaches your passenger door, ducking his head to look into the car. He looks at you first, smiling kindly as Satoru stares, observing intensely with a tight lipped smile. “Morning, (Y/n),” a laugh bubbles lightly in his words as you tighten your face with embarrassment and flash him a nervous smile, ripping your hands from Gojo’s body.

“Hi,” you greet shortly.

“I see you’ve found a better ride today,” he jokes, and Satoru can feel a muscle in his eye twitch at the sound of him being humorous with you a day after meeting. Aoto looks at Satoru, nodding his head in acknowledgement. “How’s it going?”

“Oh just great,” Satoru grins, his one hand still taut on the steering wheel. “You must be uhhh… Apollo?”

You crick your neck when Satoru purposely fumbles the brunette’s name to his face.

Aoto takes it well, chuckling softly. “Uh, close, it’s Aoto,” he smiles. “But people butcher it all the time,” he lies.

“Oh, I’m sure,” Satoru nods slowly.

“(Y/n), this a friend of yours?”

You sigh. “Yeah, he’s just visiting-“

“Satoru Gojo,” your albino friend extends a hand over your lap into Aoto’s direction. Your research partner clasps it firmly, shaking with a friendly grip. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Likewise.” You notice Aoto move to tug his hand away, but Satoru holds on for a second longer, keeping his grip tight before letting him go. “That’s a hell of a handshake you got there.”

“Thank you,” Satoru grins. “So I hear you and (Y/n) are working together?”

“Sure are. We’re actually heading in soon to meet with a historian,” Aoto explains. “Your friend here is a really passionate girl. It’s already a pleasure to get to chat with her about all this stuff,” the older man compliments you, and you laugh bashfully.

Gojo, however, does not find anything funny. His tight smile is frozen on his face as he watches Aoto look at you with what you would call a “friendly” gaze, but what Satoru knows as a look that reveals his hidden desire to have sex with you.

He can feel himself losing his cool, the very thought of you spending all day with this creep making him lose his mind.

You turn to look at Gojo oddly upon detecting a sudden foulness in his mood.

“Funny, you got all that out of her in one day?” Satoru lifts his brows, glossy lips parted as he holds a finger to his chin as though he is completely indulged in what Aoto is saying. You don’t understand why he is all of a sudden behaving so rudely. He has no right, after all, since this is your sanctuary he insisted upon intruding.

“A day is generous. Maybe even less,” Aoto jokes in high spirits, and you try to laugh along with him, but the glare in Satoru’s eyes distracts you as he looks between you and your research partner repeatedly.

“Well, gosh, luckily for me, I’ve known her for three years,” Satoru smiles, turning to look at you. “Isn’t that right?”

You give him a warning glare, to which he blatantly ignores and turns back to face your research partner.

“She gets shy when I put her on the spot, but it’s true.”

“In that case, I’m sure you guys have a great friendship.”

“We really do.”

“Alright,” you jump in to cut the strange sense of strain in the air. “I think it’s about time we head in,” you say to Aoto.

He shrugs with a soft smile. “Sure, let’s go. Hey, nice meeting you Gojo,” he waves to the blue eyed pain in the ass next to you, and the said man grins.

“Take care, buddy.”

You are about to hop out of the vehicle to join Aoto when you pause. “Actually, Aoto, could you give us a minute? I think my chapstick fell out in here somewhere.”

“Oh, yeah, no problem. I’ll just be inside then.”

“Okay.”

You wait until Aoto is far enough to be out of earshot before whipping your head around and punching Satoru square in the shoulder. “Ow!” he yelps, rubbing the sore area, his uncivil facade fading. “That hurt!”

“What the hell was that, huh?” you ask through gritted teeth. “Why were you being so rude?”

“I wasn’t,” he exhales with irritation. “I was just scoping him out, no big deal.”

“It is a big deal, Satoru, because that’s the guy I’m working with! You know, for a real research opportunity?”

“Yeah, so you’ve said a hundred times already,” he remarks sassily. “It wasn’t that serious.”

“Nothing ever is to you, is it?” you growl, anger consuming your mind. Your thoughts of why you stepped away from Satoru in the first place instantly return, face flustering in embarrassment and heart pounding.

Why did he always have to make a scene everywhere he went? Why does he have to constantly be the center of attention with no regard for how his behavior impacts anyone else?

Satoru looks at you with a slightly hurt and befuddled expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a child,” you huff, gathering your belongings into your lap with haste. Satoru grabs your arm again before you can leave for the second time.

“Woah, woah, woah, hold on,” he rushes out. “Did I actually piss you off just now?”

“Answer your own questions, Satoru, since you seem to know everything.”

A dent forms in the space between his brows as he peers down at you incredulously. “You’re getting this worked up over me messing with some random guy?”

“My research partner,” you clarify.

“Whatever! Why does it matter?”

“It matters because you don’t think it does! You only give meaning to the things you care about, and you knock everyone else down along the way. It’s exhausting!”

“How was I supposed to know that you’d care so much about what I say to him? You just met him yesterday.”

“You still don’t even get it,” you shake your head. “Why would you?”

“Why are you snapping at me, (Y/n)?” Satoru frowns. “I thought we were good. I thought I didn’t do anything to make you mad at me.”

“That was yesterday, Satoru. This is today.”

“And you’re this angry at me over something so small? Nothing built up to you blowing up on me like this?”

“Maybe I’m just sick of you being an asshole.”

You yank your arm away, throwing open the door and slamming it behind you. Satoru sits back, lips parted in shock, reeling at the rate at which you had grown upset with him. He feels his heart ache, unsure of why you care so much about one interaction he had with a guy neither of you knows.

You’re right. He doesn’t understand. He can’t understand.

He can’t understand how this man gets to spend all of his time with you after you stripped your time away from Satoru forcefully, without even telling him why. You can’t understand why you defend Aoto, grow angry for him, resentful and hurtful. You called Satoru a child, you called him an asshole, you claimed that he didn’t care about how things affected others when all he cares about in this godforsaken world is you, and yet somehow, you’ve antagonized him and left him behind.

Where is your gratitude for the years he spent by your side ensuring that you weren’t lonely? Where is your gratitude for the tears he wiped away, shed for your isolation from an unloving family? Where is your gratitude for remembering all of your favorite foods, your likes, your dislikes, the things you are allergic to, the things you dream about attaining, your favorite animal, your favorite piece of clothing, your best and worst subjects in school, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what makes your nose scrunch up in disgust and your eyes shine with enthusiasm?

Why are you so keen on shoving your memory of all he has been for you away? Why is it so easy for you to yell at him, to push you off of him, to glare at him, to dismiss him, to ghost him, when he knows there is no reality in this universe where he would be able to rip his eyes from your beautiful face for longer than one second?

It didn’t take much for you to leave Satoru behind, and he mourns over you. He mourns over your presence and your love that he begins to question was ever there. He mourns your touch, your gaze, your affections, your praises. He mourns the thought of you leaning into him and accepting the lengths to which he would go for you, the planets he would conquer, the oceans he would swim, the beasts he would tame.

Satoru would have given you his entire existence if you asked for it, but he mourns the notion that you would do the same as he realizes that you never will.

Instead, you choose Shoko over him. You choose Suguru over him. You choose an empty phone over him, a new country over him, and an older man over him. When Gojo would pick you in every universe he encounters within his dreams, you would cast him away for the chance of finding something better.

You do not love him, and he understands now.

To you, he’s an asshole, a child, a careless man with no regard for the impact he has on the people he cares for. To you, he is his legacy, his privilege, his wealth, his pride, his family. You are everything to him, the stars, the sun, and the moon, but he is nothing to you but a burden.

That must be why you stopped talking to him, why you were practically mortified to see his face in New York. Suguru had been right though he didn’t want to accept it. You want space away from him, far away, and while chases you, you continue to outrun him, seeking another hand to hold.

Satoru can feel himself growing cold, eyes angry and jaw taut. He doesn’t know why he tries so hard with you, or whether his blatant desire to keep you near has pushed you away further. He doesn’t know why, no matter how many times your voice and body tell him that you don’t want him around, he still follows you. He can’t bring himself to leave you the way you try to leave him, for you hold too much weight within his mind and bring him too much happiness. Christ, you’re one of his best friends, the only woman he has truly cared for beyond himself, and you give him nothing. Even so, he clings to you like you’re his last breath, surviving off of the ropes you throw and pull away as though he has no other option.

And to Satoru, there is no other option. You’re it. You’re everything. He can’t walk away, so why should you be able to?

He pictures you with Aoto, his rugged stubbled face and dark eyes. He pictures you laugh alongside him, fingers brushing his elbow as you steady yourself on your feet. He pictures you watching him with enamored eyes as he drones on about art, about the things you like that Satoru has never comprehended but has learned for you.

He pictures you hugging him, tucking your face against his chest as he pulls you close, his lips brushing your forehead as you thank him for this wonderful opportunity. He pictures you out at a grungy restaurant, sharing a meal in celebration of your remarkable intelligence, clinking glasses as your eyes meet in the haze of the candle lit space.

He pictures you going home with him, falling into him, lips crushing together and hands wandering over bare skin, skin Satoru alone is meant to touch, to kiss, to cherish.

The white haired heir clenches his fists together, rage overcoming him at the tormented images flashing through his brain. You’ll probably leave him for this place one day, for this life, for this guy, throwing him behind as if he held no value to you. You’ll go again without telling him and Satoru will find out through a friend, too late for him to chase you into a new life. He imagines you happy without him, and his heart shatters.

You, on the other hand, are fuming.

Why does Satoru have to be so obnoxious? Why can’t he let you breathe without him hovering over you, tracking you down just to make you angry again?

What right does he have to treat a stranger as if he is beneath him? Someone who you happen to work with? Could he be any more pretentious?

Your blood is boiling as you picture him looking at you, then competing with a man that you hardly even know through the tone of his voice and his unwarranted possession of you. What gives him the right to treat you as though he owns you, grinning smugly at Aoto as though he could never amount to his image?

You recall the nights you stayed up watching stories of Satoru with some random girl on your social media, his pretty face leaning into the camera as he sweet-talks the unassuming woman behind it with no intention of following through. You recall the times Satoru shoved profiles of girls who follow him into your faces, making remarks about how attractive they are before accepting their friend requests. You recall every time you have ended up sobbing in Suguru’s arms after a night of drinking, the dark haired boy himself blaming your emotions on the alcohol when in reality they were sparked by the sight of a girl grinding up against him in a club.

You replay all the instances Gojo has made you and hundreds of other women feel like a fool, and he has the audacity to challenge the poor guy you work with?

It’s unfair, all of it.

You’re supposed to be getting away from him, but instead, he’s here, just like he always forces himself to be. He’s invading your personal space, making judgments about other people, and all the while doing so and expecting not to be reprimanded. How much more inconsiderate could a person get?

You spend your entire day thinking about him, his face appearing in your head as you try to listen to the things the people around you are saying. You try your hardest to rid your mind of Satoru, but the task proves impossible. He’s like a plague, ailing your train of thought every chance he gets.

Why can’t he just leave you alone? It was already enough that he had made you fall in love with him, so why couldn’t he give you space? Why is he always so close to you, lingering in every nook and cranny of your heart and soul?

By the time late afternoon rolls around, you and Aoto are done in the MET and you are given a list of artifacts to organize on a spreadsheet by the end of the day. You had not called Satoru to see where he was, and you almost think he isn’t showing up, but when you descend the museum stairs, you see him parked by the sidewalk with Suguru sitting passenger and Shoko in the back.

You exhale slowly, preparing yourself for what is to come as you approach the car. “Hey, guys,” you greet with a wave, and your friends’ heads are turning except for Satoru, who leans his head back against the headrest and stares forward emptily.

“How was your day?” Shoko asks as you climb into the back with her.

You shrug. “Good. Got some good work to do.” You look forward to finding Gojo’s dull eyes in the rearview mirror. He doesn’t move to greet or look at you, which you find unbearably unusual. “What about you guys?”

“Suguru and I actually saw a huge rat after we finished breakfast,” the young woman beside you snickers. “So he’s not in the greatest mood.”

“I need to get out of this fucking place,” you hear Suguru mutter and you laugh at his tone of dreadful severity as Satoru pulls out and starts driving.

“Hate to break it to you, Sugu, but your friend has other plans for you today,” you say, hardly addressing the man you are speaking about aside from a vague allusion to Suguru.

“Actually,” you hear Satoru speak up, and you look up at him to find his eyes on you through the mirror. He looks slightly perturbed, the usual bubbliness in his tone and playful glitter in his eye replaced by a flat indifference. “There’s been a change of plans.”

You keep his gaze for a moment, eying him skeptically. “Oh?” is all you muster up the energy to say.

“We’re going back now.”

“Back where?”

“To the villa.”

Your shoulders drop as you process his announcement. All of a sudden, he wants to leave?

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry though. You’re coming with.”

You perk up, eyes shooting wide. “Huh?”

“I think you heard me perfectly clear,” he says. “Your stuff’s already all packed and in the front with Suguru. We’re heading straight up there now.”

“How the hell did you get back into my house?”

“I saw the code you put into the keypad when we left.”

You perch yourself up, gripping the back of Geto’s seat and leaning to look over at Satoru’s face. “Are you crazy? I’m not coming up there! It’s too far! I have to stay here.”

“Calm down. Your computer’s packed and I’ll have you back in the city by tomorrow morning.”

You fume. “Satoru, why do you think you can just drag me around wherever you want me to go?”

“I don’t think that. I just think it would be unfair to our friends if we forced them to hang around the city any longer without an extra pair of clothes. I’m thinking ahead for everyone, ‘cause, you know, I try to be aware of how my actions impact others,” he quips with a straight face, refusing to spare you a glance once you’re staring directly at him and leaning over the console.

Your face darkens when those last few words leave his mouth. “Is this really how you’re choosing to react to this morning?”

“Like I told you before, (Y/n), not everything’s about you. I’m doing this for Shoko and Suguru. So just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

He turns the volume knob up on a random station, blasting music he doesn’t even listen to as he drives. You lean back into your seat feeling even more agitated than you had been earlier, crossing your arms.

“He didn’t tell you about this before?” Shoko asks you quietly, the blare of the radio overpowering her voice enough for the boys in the front not to hear. You throw your hands up and into your lap, preparing for a rant.

“No! Literally just this morning he was trying to make you guys stay here longer so we could walk around the city,” you fume, turning to complain to your friend. She shakes her head with an exasperated smile.

“Typical Satoru.”

“I just can’t with him sometimes, honestly,” you huff.

“What did he do this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re pissed, he’s pissed, you mentioned something that happened this morning,” she lists as though this is nothing new. “What did he do?”

“Am I really that obvious when I’m mad at him?”

“I mean, yeah, but Satoru even more so when he’s bothered,” she glances up at him. “He never gets upset with you, so it’s weird.”

“Now why the hell would he be upset with me? He’s the one constantly out of line,” you accuse quietly, turning to look at the streets passing you by. “Like- you can’t just take people wherever you want to go. It’s selfish.”

“Tell me what he did, girl,” Shoko repeats for a third time and you exhale.

“It was just this weird thing this morning. He wanted to meet my research partner and he made a whole scene.”

Shoko listens as she pulls out a lighter and a pack of almost finished cigarettes. “What kind of scene?”

“I don’t know how to explain it, he was just acting like a dick… like really… really…” you struggle to find the word.

“Territorial?”

You give Shoko a strange look, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Sort of.”

Ieiri shakes her head, flicking her match open to light the stick in her hand. “Figures.”

“I just wish for once he’d stop being so difficult.”

“I think you’re asking for the impossible,” Shoko cups her hands around the flame to block it from the wind. “Satoru will always be Satoru, and when you’re involved, he’s Satoru on Xanax.”

“Yeah, because he loves to piss me off.”

Shoko doesn’t respond, puffing smoke from her now lit cigarette as she ponders how you still can’t see what is so clearly standing right in front of you.

The car ride is silent for the most part, though not as long as you assumed it would be. After a few stops for gas and snacks, you finally make it to Long Island, the scent of sea breeze drifting through your nostrils and into the wild wind as you lean your head against the door, looking around you and observing the captivating scenery.

You watch the large, expensive houses pass you by until you’re pulling into a secluded villa at the end of a row. You lift your head and look up in awe as Satoru pulls into the driveway. The home is obnoxiously large, trees shading the front porch and sun pouring richly through the overhead leaves. There’s two stories, but the house stretches so wide it looks as though it was built for a family of twelve. The exterior is mostly wood with tall window panes and a glass dome connecting two legs of the house sitting in the center, where the front door resides. Your jaw hangs open as everyone piles out of the car casually, as though a two hundred thousand dollar vacation home isn’t sitting right before their eyes.

Suguru grabs your light overnight bag and tosses it over to you, catching you by surprise once you step out the car and rush to clutch it to your chest. “Welcome to Satoru’s overcompensation,” Suguru smiles at you, and Satoru grumbles at him to shut up as he closes the door behind him.

Shoko skips around you, racing up to the front door. “I call dibs on the big shower!” she claims, disappearing into the house.

Geto sweatdrops, trudging in behind her. “All the showers here are big, Shoko.”

The two leave you and Satoru alone as he rounds his car to grab your bag out of your arms wordlessly. His eyes, yet again, don’t meet yours. “I’ll show you to your room.”

You can feel your heart clench at his coldness, though frustration with him still bubbles, and you follow him into the house silently. Once you step through the glass doors, you see that the majority of the bottom level opens up to the back of the house, where a fresh cut lawn surrounds a crystal blue pool and lawn chairs. You stare baffled. The house is admittedly beautiful, but for Satoru to have splurged this much on a last minute trip is insane.

He leads you upstairs and down a long hallway before nudging open a door to your right that you realize is your bedroom. Satoru lets you walk past him into the room first, and you examine the large space carefully, the window on the left, the small couch in front of the queen bed, the television, and the marble dressers. It’s a nice room, you admit to yourself.

Satoru walks in to put your bag down on your bed, then turns to walk out. “We’re going out at ten,” he says, moving to leave.

“Wait,” you stop him, and he stills. He turns around to face you, an almost pained yet bothered expression on his face. You don’t know what to say now that you have his attention. You only know that you’re confused, though still angry with him for earlier. You’re confused as to why you’re here with him, why he’s all of a sudden mad at you. You can see it written all over his face now that Shoko has brought it to your attention. “What was the point of taking me here?” you choose to ask him, a question simple enough, you think, to not rouse more tension.

But you’re wrong.

“(Y/n),” he exhales. “I don’t know what to tell you if you can’t comprehend the fact that we just want to spend time with you.”

You swallow hard. He is mad. But why? You’re the one who’s supposed to be mad, not him. “Okay, but you’re not understanding where I’m coming from at all. Randomly making me do things without asking first sparks a few questions, don’t you think?”

“Okay then,” he nods. “What would you have said if I asked you?”

You hesitate. “I don’t know.”

“Be honest,” he demands sternly, and you look him in the eye when you answer.

“Probably… no, Satoru.”

“Exactly. So why ask if you’re just gonna turn me down again like you have been for weeks?” You feel your heart sink. You don’t like this feeling, though you know it’s partially your fault you’re in this situation.

“Didn’t we already talk about this last night?”

“I don’t think we’ve talked about it enough, but you don’t really wanna explain yourself, so I’m letting it go and making an executive decision for everyone.”

“Everyone?” you repeat.

He stares at you a moment, perturbed. “Yes,” he fibs, and you know he is. “If you have any more complaints about how I approach our relationship, take it up with the others,” he says, turning back around. “I won’t keep putting myself in a position where I have to defend myself caring about you.”

He’s gone within a second after that, swiftly leaving your room as if he was never there. You stand in the door, watching the entrance speechlessly.

You don’t know why Satoru’s behavior toward you is completely throwing you off, for if you’re mad at him, it really shouldn’t matter if he’s mad at you, right? But you have never seen him look at you so tiredly, speak to you with such agitation in his eyes and his tone. With you, he’s normally always bright, playful, loud, and obnoxious but in an endearing way. This tone he’s taking with you now is void of all that glee, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, it’s making you anxious and, dare you say, hurting your feelings.

You know you’re being unfair because you’re normally always the one upset with Satoru and not the other way around. You know that he’s a human being and has a right to whatever he feels, despite the fact that you were angry with him this morning, but that doesn’t make this feel any less strange, like the world is being thrown off kilter. Despite your initial frustrations with him, you’re beginning to miss his smile, miss the way he follows you, the way he pesters you, the very same things you always claimed drove you insane.

Have you been taking advantage of him all this time, overlooking the life that he has always brought to your own? Are you the selfish one, though you have always accused Satoru of being self-centered?

And those words he had said earlier… I won’t keep putting myself in a position where I have to defend myself caring about you.”

All this time, all the pranks and the harassing, the constant texts and the frequent company, had he been just caring about you instead of trying to make you angry? Instead of trying to get a rise out of you?

You don’t understand. You don’t understand anything anymore.

You’re drowning in your thoughts, head submerging into an ocean of memories replaying constantly in your head. You somehow end up on the second floor balcony, peering straight ahead of you. The awareness of Satoru lounging on a beach chair and Shoko laying in the pool on a float below you remains in the back of your head, but you’re not fully paying attention. You can’t stop thinking about Satoru, about your friendship, about how you thought it would be best to push him away, about how he looked at you with aching eyes at the thought of you turning away from him again.

Had you messed up?

You’re deep in a trance when Suguru stalks up behind you quietly. He saw your figure standing alone on the balcony as he walked by and decided to accompany you. When he comes into your line of sight to stand beside you, you jump, glancing at him then relaxing when you see the dark haired man smiling gently at you. “Hey,” he greets you casually. You notice that his hair is down and damp and his clothes are fresh, likely having just gotten out of the shower.

You exhale slowly. “Hey,” you say, turning back to face forward. Suguru can immediately sense that your mind isn’t all there as he leans against the glass railing and observes your body language. He then glances down below him to find Satoru glaring ahead, eyes shaded by his glasses as he sucks harshly at the straw of his lemonade.

Suguru understands immediately.

“How’re you holding up?” the hazel eyed student asks. “You know, after being dragged here and all.”

“Feeling like I should be working.”

“Why aren’t you?”

You shrug, angling your brows. “I don’t know, I can’t focus,” you say.

“Is it because of the house?” he looks around. “It can be a bit much.”

“Actually, no,” you tell him honestly. “I wish I could, but I don’t hate it here. It’s nice.”

“Uh oh. Satoru’s finally gotten to you,” Suguru chuckles and you look over at him, slightly panicked.

“What makes you say that?”

Geto’s eyes meet yours and he lifts a brow. “The house. He’s got you liking his expensive taste.”

“Oh,” you mutter in relief. “I guess. A nice place is a nice place.”

He hums, looking forward into the direction you had been staring off in. The two of you stand beside each other silently for a moment, watching the sun ease its way behind the trees, when Suguru speaks up once more. “(Y/n)?”

“Hm?”

“I have a question for you.”

You turn and grimace. “Anytime you say that, I get scared.”

Suguru laughs, a refreshing, genuine sound. “How come?”

“You always ask the most intimidating things.”

“Do I?” he tugs his lips in an amused smile. “I guess you won’t like what I have to ask you then.”

“Just get it over with already,” you groan.

“Alright…” he pauses, scanning his eyes over your face as he tries to find the best way to approach. “Why’d you stop talking to Satoru?”

You knew it was coming. How could you not, when you and Satoru are behaving so strangely? You sigh loudly again, hanging your head low. “I knew it.”

“It’s really not that crazy of a question,” he says smugly and you push at his shoulder.

“Please, you know what you’re doing,” you roll your eyes and he chuckles.

“Do I? I’m only asking.”

“Whatever,” you huff, rubbing your temple in exasperation.

“Well?”

You’re mute for a moment, trying to determine what you want to say or how to respond. Suguru has always been very good at detecting when people are lying to him or not, and you know that if you lie to him, you will only be making the situation more painful for yourself. And by the way the dark haired man is looking at you now, you have a feeling he already knows the answer.

“...Why do you think I stopped talking to him?”

“I know what I think, (Y/n), but if I’m wrong, then I’m wrong.”

You look at him, your eyes telling a story that Suguru has read far too many times over. He hums in understanding, looking back down at Satoru.

“Doesn’t seem like I am though,” he says and you slump, burying your face in your hands.

“I don’t know,” you murmur. “I don’t know, I don’t know. I just-” you stop, unsure of where your mind is directing the words that are coming out of your mouth. “I just thought that… it would be best if I took some time away.”

“Best for who?”

“For me?” you answer though you aren’t sure. “I don’t know!” you exclaim again. “It was hard enough just having him around and letting him make a fool out of me.”

“Huh?” Suguru makes a baffled face. “Making a fool out of you? How?”

“Look at him,” you hiss. “Look at this place, look at the money he spends, the attention he gets, the life he lives! I’m nothing compared to that and he knows it.”

“Your difference in societal standings is hardly something that Satoru would ever care about.”

“Maybe not, but it’s a blaring difference between our lives and how we approach things,” you explain. “I had to fight to get here. He just snaps his fingers and it’s done, and because of that, he behaves like he can do anything he wants. In some ways he can, but he shouldn’t be able to when it comes to his friends. Not when it comes to me,” you emphasize. “You see what he does, you’re his best friend. He makes things happen the way he wants and pulls everyone along with him, not caring about whether you want to go with him or not.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

His eyes grow intense as he studies you. “Do you want to go with him?”

“I-” you part your lips because you think you can answer easily, but you surprise yourself when you don’t. You frown, suddenly feeling rather pathetic. “Who wouldn’t want to go with Satoru Gojo wherever he takes you? It’s better than him leaving you behind.”

“But, (Y/n),” Suguru begins adamantly. “Satoru has never once left any of us behind. That’s why we’re here. He could’ve hauled his own ass to America, but instead he forced us along with him. And while it can be irritating, it’s kinda nice to know that he wants to share his privilege with the people he cares about.

“Satoru may be a lot of things. He’s impulsive, he’s clingy, he’s dramatic, but he’s not uncaring. You can’t categorize him as that just because he’s different,” Geto says wisely, and another wave of shame washes over you when you realize that he’s right. It’s just easier for you to call Satoru inconsiderate when he can’t see how helplessly in love you are with him. “And I’m sorry if this is blunt, but if we’re talking about leaving people behind… you kinda did that to him.”

“Because I thought it was the right thing to do,” you urged. “I thought that if I stepped away, I wouldn’t have to face my…”

“Your feelings,” Geto concludes, and you flush as your lips and brows curl in discomfort.

“I couldn’t stand it,” you whisper. “I still can’t stand it… watching him, watching the way girls glue themselves to him, watching the way he just tosses them aside without caring… I’m horrified that he’d only do the same to me if he knew, and I can’t stand it.”

“You wanna know why Satoru doesn’t pay any of those girls any mind and leads them on?”

“No,” you tighten your lips.

“Come on, it’s the same reason why he snatched the chance to show his face to your research partner earlier with so much to say. It’s the reason why he can’t help but try to follow you wherever you go, and when he can’t, he finds a way.”

You stare at Geto with hard eyes, eager yet perplexed. “I still don’t get it.”

“You’re hopeless. Both of you are,” Suguru sighs. “Either way, whatever’s going on between you two needs to get fixed. Immediately.”

“But, Suguru, I don’t know how to just be friends with him anymore without getting mad or- or letting these feelings get in the way,” you say desperately. “I don’t know how to be around him anymore.”

“Let me pose it this way. Do you want to be around him?”

“Do you seriously expect me to answer that?”

“Yes.”

You close your eyes, heart pounding hardly in your ears. “Of course I want to be around him…” you admit under your breath in embarrassment. “That was never the problem. It was that it hurt to be around him without him knowing about how I feel.”

“Then tell him.”

“Oh, you’re out of your fucking mind.”

“I’m being serious, (Y/n),” Suguru groans. “You need to tell him.”

“I can’t do that, Suguru, it would ruin everything.”

“That’s what you’re afraid will happen. You don’t know what will actually happen.”

“I know enough,” you cut him off. “I know enough about Satoru to know that if I tell him everything, he’ll use it against me or take it as a joke. I’ve seen it. So many girls confess to him, he’s become numb to it by now.”

“Those are other girls. Not you.”

“What makes me any different?”

“More than you know. Trust me,” he says sternly. “So just tell him. Right now, I'm pretty sure he thinks you hate him. Especially after everything with you coming here after ghosting him, and I’m sure your fight this morning didn’t help.”

“Hold on, how did you even know about that?”

“Satoru’s got a big mouth.” Though you know Gojo didn’t tell Shoko, you don’t know why you’re surprised that he blabbered to his best friend about this morning’s incident. “And a big heart too.”

“...Suguru, I’m scared. If I confessed to Satoru and he…” you trail off, images of Satoru laughing at you, telling you that he’s known all along, that he’s been taking pity on you floods your mind and you're consumed with fear. Fear of his rejection, fear of his indifference, fear of his mocking. You love him too much to endure that if that’s too happen. “I couldn’t handle it.”

“You’ve got it really bad, don’t you?” Suguru observes and you grit your teeth together in reaction to his blunt address of your love, something you don’t want to acknowledge as overpowering enough to be the way Suguru defines bad. “I pray for you.”

“Gee thanks.”

He laughs softly, leaning his head on his palm. “You’ve gotta stop letting fear drive your actions,” he looks at you gently. “Fear didn’t get you to college without the help of your parents, and it didn’t get you here to America. What could fear possibly get you now with Satoru?”

You know that Geto is right, as he always is. You can tell he only has your best interest at heart, his words carrying both friendly endearment and foresight. You always admired that about him, the way he carries such understanding and knowledge in his advice. “I’ll think about it,” you tell him, and that is all he wants to hear.

“Good. Because I’m getting kind of tired of suffering on behalf of you two,” he jokes. “I thought I was losing a friend because you can’t process your emotions.”

You gape at Suguru’s innocent smile. “Can you leave me and my coping mechanisms alone?”

“I don’t think I will,” he decides matter-of-factly. “I’m sure you’ve heard enough of this, but we really have missed you. The past month hasn’t been the same without you around.”

“Are you getting all sappy with me, Suguru?” you tease, and he shrugs.

“Just being honest.”

“When are you not?” you say. “I really didn’t mean to put a wall up in front of you guys. I got kinda swept up in everything I was feeling, I didn’t even notice I was being so isolated until I was already too deep in.”

Suguru leans over to place his hand atop your head consolingly. “It’s okay, (Y/n). Shoko and I understand.”

“I know, but I won’t do that to you guys again. I’ll try to get a handle on things before they can get any worse.”

He smiles down at you again kindly. “We’re here for support when you do.”

Below, Satoru is painfully aware of the two of you talking, standing close beside each other and smiling. The blue eyed man broods, for you treat Suguru with the kindness that you should have been treating him with. He tries to concentrate on something else, anything else, but the lull murmur of your voice and Suguru’s drifts into the air and into his thoughts, taunting him.

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