#okay i lied i just want to get this done and over with

[bsturnzmtts]

Older bf! Matt and sweetheart! Readers … First kiss

Matt had invited you to his house while his brothers were out to bake cookies. You were excited to spend time together, completely focused on the fun of baking, and still oblivious to the fact that Matt had been flirting with you all along. Little did you know, he had something else in mind for the day…

When you get to his house you knock on the door, excited for the activity he had planned.

Matt opens the door with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Hey," he greets softly, stepping aside to let you in. He closes the door behind you. "So, I thought we could make the classic, chocolate chip cookies”

“Hi, yeah that sounds perfect.” You say with a soft smile.

Smiling back at you, he leads you to the kitchen. "Come on, I'll get everything laid out." he says, taking out the ingredients and putting them on the counter. "I thought maybe we could make a little tradition of this."

“Yeah! We could even make them depending on the holiday. Like for Christmas we make gingerbread man cookies, for Halloween maybe we could decorate them on theme etc.” You say showing interest in his idea, and helping him out with the ingredients.

He leans against the counter, smiling at your excitement, and can't help but tease gently, "There you go again with your sweet ideas." He pulls out two aprons, one for each of you. "Let me put this on before we make a mess..." He puts his one on and then grabs the other one and walks closer to you to put it on.

You get slightly nervous when he gets close and puts on the apron on you. “We look funny in these.” You chuckle softly.

He chuckles too and ties the apron strings around your waist. "We do, don't we?" He says with a soft smile, his hands lingering on your waist for a moment before he steps back. "Now, let's get started on these cookies, shall we?"

“Let's get started” you agree. You guys start making the cookies, following instructions from a recipe you found online. You start adding and mixing ingredients.

As you work, Matt can't help but steal glances at you, admiring the way you concentrate on the task at hand, the way your hair falls in loose waves around your face, and the way your lips purse slightly as you focus on measuring out the ingredients. But he can’t help wanting a little bit of extra fun. So he puts a bit of flour in his hands and spreads some on your cheek. “Opps, looks like you got something on your cheek.” He laughs.

“Maaatt!” You laugh. “I’m gonna get revenge.” You say as you try to do the same thing he did to you.

He dodges playfully, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Oh no, I don't think so!" He teasingly grabs your wrists just as you're about to flour him, pulling you slightly closer.

“Not fair” you mumble.

"Life's not fair." He teases back, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "But if you play your cards right, maybe I'll let you get me next time." He slowly releases your wrists but remains close.

“Just a tiny bit on your nose pleaseeeee” you ask with a smile.

He pretends to think about it, tapping his finger against his chin dramatically. "Alright, alright. But only a tiny bit, promise?"

“Yeaaaaah only a bit” you say, but take the opportunity and spread flour all over his cheek and a small dot in his nose as you laugh.

He laughs out loud, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You lied!" He wipes his hands on his apron. "Okay, I guess we’re equal now."

You guys laugh it out and continue with the cookies. Once the dough is done you put them straight in the oven.

“Okay! In 30 minutes we’re gonna have some amazing cookies” you say.

"Thanks to your excellent flouring skills." He teases, still wiping flour from his face. "You know, you're really good at this baking stuff." He compliments softly, his smile warm. "You're really good at a lot of things actually." He says as he steps closer leaving you in between the counter and him.

You get slightly nervous as he gets close again and can’t help but blush a little at his compliments. “Thank you.”

He notices your blush and softly reaches up to brush a slight smudge of flour off your cheek, his fingertips lingering for a moment longer than necessary. The way you react to his compliments makes him want to give you more, to see that pink spread across your cheeks again. "You don't have to be shy around me, you know?”

You get even more nervous and you look away. “I-… I’m not shy, I’m just-”

He tilts your chin up gently with his fingers, forcing you to look at him. "Just what?" He asks softly, his voice low and gentle. His eyes search yours, looking for the answer in their depths.

“Well… maybe a little shy,” you admit.

He chuckles softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "A little shy?" He repeats, his thumb gently rubbing your chin. "I think you're more than a little shy." He teases gently. His eyes are locked with yours as he gets even more closer. “Can I kiss you?”

You’re shocked by his question. You don’t know what to answer. So you just slur out the first thing that came to your mind. “I- I’ve never kissed.”

His heart skips a beat at your response. He gently lifts his hand and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your skin. "You've never kissed anyone before?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Well what else could he expect from someone as innocent and shy as you, he thinks.

You shake your head feeling slightly embarrassed.

He smiles softly, his heart melting at your shy demeanor. "And here I thought you were just really good at playing hard to get." He jokes lightly. He steps even closer, one hand still gently pressed against your waist while the other cups your face. "Would you... let me be your first?" He asks, his voice tender and respectful.

A pink shade spreads through your cheeks as you feel even more nervous. But your head nods yes.

He lets out a soft sigh of relief as he gently leans in, his lips pressing softly against yours in a gentle, sweet kiss. It's a kiss filled with tenderness and care, as if he's treating something precious. His hand at your waist tightens slightly as he deepens the kiss gently. While you kiss back trying to mimic his movements.

A soft smile curls his lips at your innocent attempt to mimic him. He gently slides his hand up to cup the back of your neck, while keeping the kiss slow and tender. After a moment, he pulls back slightly to look at your flushed face. "Perfect.”

Taglist: @blahbel668 @bernardsbendystraws @sturnzsblog @deffonotjae @suyqa

@mattsturniololover1 @mattsturniolosgf @annsx03 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @strnzzvsp

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@sturniolofreakk @izzylovesmatt @lolastrniolo @pip4444chris @idrk2292

@strnilolover @2prcntmilkluvr @chrisslvtxx @madifilipowiczslvt @strvnolin

@nelxoxo14 @miasturn1ol0 @mattssslutbby @sophsturns @mynbbys

[starvrse]

CARNIVAL

| pairing : daniela avanzini x fem!reader

| summary : errr u and ur gf go to a fair and u get jealous or wtv

| warnings : g!p daniela, jealousy, p in v, no protection, impregnating talk, ass slapping, cursing, car sex, etc.

| unnecessary bs : 3k words 🙏 glaze me again

walking through the fair, hand in hand with your girlfriend, daniela. the evening air was warm, and the lights of the rides blinked in vibrant colors around you, casting soft glows on the crowd. you had just gotten off the rollercoaster, and now you were both reliving the adrenaline rush. “honestly, that wasn’t even scary, like, at all” you said, replaying the whole ride in your head.

daniela raised an eyebrow, her smile playful but teasing. “don’t even lie!” she grinned, giving you a nudge. “you were screaming so loud, i could hear you over the whole thing.”

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “i was just vocalizing my excitement.” you said, trying to sound confident.

“vocalizing?” she laughed. “babe, you were straight up shrieking—and you were squeezing my arm so tight, i thought my circulation was gonna cut off!”

you both burst into laughter, walking a little slower now as you shared the moment. “i was just making sure you didn’t fall off the ride.” you joked. daniela laughed lightly, looking down at you. “yeah, right,” she said, still grinning. “i think i’m the one who was keeping you from flying off the coaster with that tight ass grip.”

you sucked your teeth playfully, the conversation dying down. leaving the two of you to walk in a comfortable silence.

as you got closer to the food stands, the scents of sizzling, sweet, and savory foods hit you all at once. your stomach gave an eager rumble, instantly reacting to the aromas drifting through the air.

“babe, it smells so good over here,” you said, your voice almost wistful as your mouth began to water. daniela let out a soft hum of agreement, her eyes scanning the stalls. “i know, right?” she replied, already looking hungry.

“oh my god! we have to get one,” you pointed at the stall that had “funnel cakes” in big, bold red letters. “it’s basically a requirement at the fair.”

daniela laughed, her eyes practically glowing. “oh, 100%. but like, extra powdered sugar,” she grinned, already picturing the perfect funnel cake in her head. “i want it to look like a snowstorm.”

“you’re gonna be in a sugar coma by the time we’re done.” you said to her, chuckling.

“worth it.” she said, glancing at the stand. “but damn baby, this line’s mad long.”

you shrugged, already stepping toward the back of the line. “it’s okay, i’ll wait. you can go mess with the claw machines or something.”

she gave you a look, raising an eyebrow. “you sure?” she asked, taking out a 50 dollar bill from her back pocket after you gave her a nod of approval. “i’ll win you a stuffed animal.”

“only if it’s a giant bear.” you teased, taking the money from her hand.

“say less.” she grinned, pecking your lips before walking off toward the claw machines that weren’t too far away.

-

finally, after what felt like 13 years, you were 3rd in line to get your funnel cake. not like you were counting, but it definitely took longer than expected. looking around, you didn’t see daniela anywhere, so you figured she was still messing with the machines.

when you got your funnel cake; extra powdered sugar, just like she asked. you made your way over to where the claw machines were. and then you saw it.

daniela, laughing—no, giggling way too hard with some girl who was clearly flirting with her. the girl’s hand was casually resting on daniela’s shoulder, and they were definitely way too into whatever was going on. the way daniela’s head tipped back, eyes sparkling… you felt this weird, hot twist in you stomach.

feeling that familiar annoyance rise up, even though you knew you had no reason to be mad. she was allowed to laugh, right? but the way she was acting with this girl made you feel like you were just… there. holding the funnel cakes like some kinda afterthought.

you tried to brush it off, but it was hard. that stupid, jealous feeling in the pit of your stomach wouldn’t go away. you gripped the plate a little tighter, walking over to her with more force than you intended.

as you got closer, you noticed the girl holding a plushie, a giant, stuffed unicorn. and then it clicked. daniela was the one who’d won it for her.

“you having fun?” you asked, trying to keep your voice casual, but it came out a little sharper than you meant.

daniela turned around, her face lighting up when she saw you. “yn! look! i won her the unicorn!” she said, holding it up, proud as hell.

the girl beside her giggled. “seriously, she’s amazing at this. i’ve never seen anyone get it on the first try.”

you forced a smile, your eyes narrowing a little. “yeah, looks like she’s really good at it.”

daniela didn’t seem to notice your tone, beaming as she looked from the girl to you. “i know, right? i’ve got mad skills. gotta teach you my ways.”

you nodded, still holding the funnel cake in one hand, but now you were just waiting to get out of there. Was she always this touchy with random girls? you couldn’t stop the thought from running through your head.

“here dani, thought you’d want this before it gets cold.” you said a little harsher than you wanted to.

daniela took the plate, but the smile she gave you felt a little off. as if she was trying to gauge if you were mad or not. and honestly? you were.

“is something wrong..?” she finally let out after examining your tone and facial expressions.

you didn’t answer right away. instead, you turned, starting to walk toward the car, your steps maybe a little too quick, a little too angry.

daniela hesitated for a second, glancing back at the girl, “hey, i’ll follow you back later, okay?” she stated, then followed after you.

“bro, slow down!” you heard your girlfriend yell from behind you.

you didn’t slow down, your mind racing, and your jaw clenching at her words. you didn’t want to explain it, didn’t want to seem petty. so instead, you kept walking, arms crossed tightly in front of you.

“come on, don’t walk off like that. what’s going on?” she questioned, slightly jogging so she could be closer to you.

“nothing’s wrong, daniela. just tired,” you muttered, trying to sound casual, but your voice was tight.

“uh-huh.” her voice was softer now, but you could hear the concern. you didn’t know if you wanted her to chase you down or leave you alone. either way, you were pissed.

when you reached the car, you slammed the door a little harder than you meant to.

the latter slid into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut behind her (way softer than you did). she tossed the funnel cake onto the dashboard, its powdered sugar already threatening to spill, and then just stared at you. the silence between you two was thick, and suffocating. waiting for something to break it.

you shifted in your seat, unable to handle the tension. “the fuck are you doing? drive.” you muttered, your gaze fixed on the windshield.

daniela didn’t move, her eyes still locked on you, unfazed. “i’m not driving until you tell me what’s up with you.” she said, her voice low but firm.

you let out a sharp breath, refusing to meet her gaze. “i’m fine.” you muttered, staring out the window.

she raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “you’re fine?” she repeated, her tone flat. “okay, cool. then tell me why the fuck you’re acting like I just killed your dog.”

you stayed quiet, jaw clenched, your eyes still glued to the window. you didn't know what to say, didn't know how to explain the frustration building up inside you.

daniela's patience wore thin, and her voice rose slightly. "oh, so now you're just gonna ignore me?" she snapped. "fine. don't say shit, but if you're gonna act like this, you can get out and walk."

you didn't respond, but you could feel the anger starting to boil. you were pissed, but you didn't want to yell. silence felt safer.

"no?" she barked. "then get in the fucking backseat."

daniela heard the scoff as you made your way toward the back, but what she didn’t see was the smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth. you could already tell where this was headed, and while it wasn’t exactly the healthiest choice right now, it was clear that you both needed to let off some steam.

soon, the blonde joined you in the backseat, her hand tenderly gripping your waist, pulling you onto her lap. her slender fingers found their way to your neck, harshly guiding your lips to meet hers in a searing kiss. the intensity of her anger fueling a primal need. her body pressed against yours, kissing you in a rough manner.

the car fills with the sound of your bodies shifting, fabric rustling, and harsh breaths as you both grapple for control. daniela’s grip on your waist tightens, her fingertips digging into your skin, while your hands tangle in her hair, pulling roughly.

she broke the kiss to speak, "you always do this, you know. you always shut down and refuse to talk.” she punctuated each word by grinding you a little harder against her thigh, the denim of her jeans rubbing against the thin fabric of your safety shorts.

you whimpered at the friction, tangling your hands in her curly hair, while you bucked your hips on her leg, needing more.

as daniela’s words fade into the background, you can't help but focus on the sensation of her leg between yours, the friction sparking a fire within you. you grind against her harder, the heat building between your legs, and you let out a soft moan, your head falling back against the seat.

daniela’s hand leaves your waist, trailing down your thigh, her fingers brushing against your inner leg, teasingly close to where you need her most.

you can feel the heat of her hand, her fingers inching closer to your center, your body aching for more. you lift your hips slightly, silently begging for her to touch you there, to quench the growing flame inside you. your breath hitches as her fingertips finally graze your mound through your shorts, the touch sending shivers down your spine.

daniela’s fingers find the edge of your shorts, her touch dancing along the hem. she leans in, her breath hot on your neck as she whispers, "Is this what you want?" her fingers tease, dipping slightly beneath the fabric, but not enough to satisfy the growing ache. you let out a soft, frustrated sound, arching your hips upwards, trying to encourage her to go further.

your body aches for more, your hips grinding against her leg, seeking friction and release. her fingers continue to tease the edge of your shorts, brushing against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, yet never quite giving you the satisfaction you crave.

"you want it, don't you?" her fingers slip further under your shorts, tracing the edge of your panties. you can feel the heat of her hand, fingers inching closer to where you need her most. "tell me," she breathes, her lips brushing against your earlobe, sending a shiver down your spine. "tell me you want it."

your hips move with the rhythm of her hand, pushing against it, seeking more. "yes," you whisper, your voice hoarse with desire, "I want it."

“too bad.” she says, her warm breath sending shivers down your spine as she slowly pulled her hand away, leaving you empty and aching.

your whimper of protest was audible as she withdrew her touch, the loss of her hand making you press harder into her thigh for friction. “now you wanna make noise huh?” Her voice was a husky purr, full of tease.

she watched you with a heated gaze, her eyes flicking down to where you were still pressed against her thigh, seeking relief. she spread her legs slightly, allowing you more room to grind against her. “you're so desperate for it, aren't you?”

you could feel the frustration building up inside you, your moves becoming more urgent against her thigh. “stop being an asshole and fuck me already!' you said desperately, your nails digging into her shoulders.

the latina rolled her eyes in exasperation at your demands, but she couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. “you're so demanding” she remarked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

with a swift movement, daniela lifted you off her lap and maneuvered you into a new position. “hands and knees” she commanded, guiding you into place. the cool leather against your skin was a stark contrast to the heat emanating from her body as she positioned herself behind you.

She hiked up your skirt, pulling your shorts and underwear down, revealing your bare bottom to the cool night air. she ran a hand over the curve of your backside, then, without warning, she delivered a sharp slap to your left cheek.

you yelped at the sudden contact, your body jolting forward. the pain quickly morphed into pleasure as she began to massage the reddened skin. “so sensitive,” she commented, her fingers drifting between your legs to tease your wet folds. “and soaking wet.”

she rubbed the evidence of your arousal against your thigh before aligning herself behind you again. “spread your legs wider” she ordered, her voice low and demanding. you complied, feeling the cool air against your most intimate area.

she pulled down her jeans and moved her fingers to your hips tightly. “you want me to fuck you like this, don't you?' she growled, pressing herself against you. “in the backseat of my car like a common whore.”

you arched your back provocatively, pressing against her boner teasingly. “then fuck me like one,” you challenged breathlessly, casting a sultry glance over your shoulder. “show me how well you can handle the slut in the backseat.”

her breath caught in her throat at your bold words. “such filthy words coming from that pretty mouth..” she retorted, pulling her boxers down. and without warning, she plunged inside you, making you gasp loudly. she bit her lip at the feeling of your cunt around her, starting a steady rhythm, she gripped your hips harder. “you’re not so tough now, are you?”

you moaned loudly, the sound bouncing off the car walls. “shut up and keep fucking me.” you argued back, pushing back against her to meet her thrusts. the force of her movements made the car rock, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air.

your moans grew louder and more desperate as she continued to pound into you, one hand moving to grip your hair roughly. “oh- fuck— god, dani!—don't stop!'"

daniela's other hand reached around to rub your clit, her fingers pressing hard against the sensitive nub as she fucked you mercilessly. your body shook with the force of her movements, your legs trembling on the seat.

the taller’s face was contorted with pleasure, her jaw clenched as she tried to muffle her own moans. “damn it…you're so fucking tight.” she groaned, her hips jerking forward erratically.

pleasure clouded dani’s mind, and she delivered a hard smack to your ass, the enjoyable pain making you moan and hang your head low.

“s-shit!” she screamed, grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking your head back. She pounded into you even harder, her other hand smacking your ass repeatedly.

she hissed in your ear, her breath hot and heavy, “you love it don't you? you always take me so well,” she kisses and sucks on your neck, “just obsessed with this dick, right?” trailing her tongue over a spot on your shoulder, teasing it before sinking her teeth in gently. a giggle escapes her lips as your startled gasp fills the air.

she continued, each thrust accompanied by a filthy phrase, “that’s right, take it—take every inch. you're such a good little slut...” her whimpers sounded like music to your ears. “s-so wet—so tight...does it feel good? does my cock feel good in your cunt?”

you arched your back even more, pressing yourself against her as she filled you completely. “y-yes. dani…” you blubbered, your words slurring with pleasure, 'it—it feels so good n’ d-deep!”

daniela gripped your hair tighter, slamming into you with all her force. “shit…that’s right, baby... take that big dick... show me how much you can handle...” your body trembled uncontrollably, your moans turning into screams of pure ecstasy as your hands clawed the leather seats.

the windows of the car fogged up as the vehicle rocked violently with each thrust. daniela's sweat dripped onto your back as she drove into you relentlessly. “listen to those filthy noises you're making…so pretty..”

your moans grew louder, more urgent, as the pleasure built to an unbearable peak. “fuck! dani i-i'm gonna cum!” you screamed, your body convulsing as a powerful orgasm ripped through you.

daniela's thrusts became erratic, her hips jerking forward as she chased her own climax. “holy shit yn, imma put a baby in you, gonna’ fill you up so good...” She groaned, her body shaking as she came hard, her juices flooding your already overflowing hole.

she collapsed on top of you, her breath coming in heavy pants. 'fuck...that was so good.” she murmured, still slowly thrusting through her aftershocks, her hand possessively resting on your stomach.

after a moment, daniela slowly pulled her length out of you, a string of your mixed fluids following. she watched hungrily as your swollen, pink folds slowly closed around the absence of her length.

you flopped back onto the car seat, your legs hanging limply over the edge. your breath came in shallow pants, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. “fuck dani…”

daniela chuckled at your exhausted state, “answer me, yeah? you ready to talk about your problem now that i’ve fucked the brains out of you?”

she waited for a response, her eyebrow raised. but you could only manage a weak, breathless whimper. daniela smirked, satisfied with your silence. 'i'll just wait…" she noted, pulling up her underwear and jeans, not bothering to zip them up again.

daniela settled in beside you, casually draping your exhausted legs over her lap. her fingers absently kneaded your tender ass cheeks, relishing the subtle bruises forming there—the physical map of her passionate assault.

she smirked, enjoying the view of your thoroughly ravaged body sprawled out next to her. "looks like my princess is gonna need a few more minutes before she can form words again."

head so good she a honor roll 😋 finally dropped i hope this feels like playboi carti dropping an album 🙏🙏 ngl i forgot reader had a skirt on still so 😅

[revelboo]

I love Everything Is Alright sm and GOD i feel so bad for Megatron in such a specific way. Imagine you're in charge of a group of astronauts and they keep running off to go fuck the alien fauna, like bestie I'd be losing my shit too.

That’s pretty much what’s going on. 🤣 Poor guy is having a breakdown over all of his followers being deviants. I feel almost bad about how much fun I’m having in traumatizing Megatron- I swear I really do like him. I just also love making it worse. 18+ content

Everything Is Alright Pt 92

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Choosing to ignore the furious Seeker, Megatron turns his attention to Soundwave and curls a lip. “For Primus’s sake, cover yourself,” he growls. Hand lifting to run over his face, he gestures at Starscream. Hears the Seeker actually hiss at him, wings flared and he ignores that, too. “That isn’t a pet.” Or maybe you are. A pet they frag. It’s not like this mess can get any worse. “Are both of you bonded to it?”

• It?! Spike still buried inside you, he’s aware of your little hands clinging to him. Of your fear and the way the bond amplifies it. “Keep away from my sparkmate,” he snarls. Stiffening as Megatron turns his stare on him, those cruel optics narrowing in calculation. Trying to figure out how to use you against him. To hurt him. Spark aching when you hide your face against his neck. Painfully aware of how fragile you are and that his frame is all that’s shielding you from Megatron’s anger. So it’s a surprise when Soundwave stands and moves between him and Megatron.

• “My sparkmate,” Soundwave says, hating the lie even as he makes the claim. Knows it’s necessary, though. Because if you only belong to Starscream, you’re as expendable as he is. Aware of Megatron’s dislike for the Seeker and that it isn’t wholly unwarranted. Starscream’s deliberately invoked his wrath so many times with so many plots and schemes. So Soundwave lies to keep you safe. And because he wants that, wants to keep you, hold you in his arms. If keeping the self destructive SIC on a leash is the cost, he’s willing to pay it for you.

• Why does it have to be like this? Holding onto Starscream as Soundwave lies to their leader, you just wish suddenly there was somewhere you could run away to with them both. Just the three of you. But you know how incredibly selfish the thought is as soon as you have it. To ask them to leave everything they know just for you? Star’s spark is still connected to you, tendrils of energy snaring you like he’s trying to hold onto you despite the threat looming over him. The feel of him wrapped around you helping calm the terror, because in his arms you want to believe it’ll be okay as foolish as it is. That feeling of safety singing through you despite the danger.

• “Of course, it is,” Megatron mutters. Two of his commanding officers both sparkbonded to an organic alien. The same alien. Why not? It’s not an epidemic of xenophilia, it’s an epidemic of insanity. “I understand having impulses, but this?” Sees Soundwave stiffen slightly as he gestures at Starscream and the human. His communications officer at least having the decency to look slightly embarrassed about it, the Seeker still glaring and defiant. “You understand that just because you’re fragging it, doesn’t mean it changes anything. You’ll bring me the… pet before reporting to your duties.” And he can try to figure out what you’ve done to both of them. Some sort of pheromones? The interfacing can’t just be that good. So, it must be something you’re doing- some strange human mind control making his Decepticons all crazy. And Shockwave can figure it out since Hook is also compromised now.

• “You think I’m going to hand over my mate?” Starscream snarls, ignoring the warning look Soundwave shoots him. So furious he’s shaking as Megatron stares him down. Not again. Please. He can’t just give you to that sadist. Before Megatron had only thought you were a pet, but now that he knows you matter? Knows what you are to him? Tries to lift up, intending to fight and you cling to him. Hook a leg over his hip. Hears your frightened, little ‘don’t, please’ and his spark hurts with it. Because he’s still connected to you, can feel that fear isn’t for yourself it’s for him. And it tears through him, the unfairness of all of it. That he can’t just have this one thing, the only thing that really matters. “You’re not invincible,” he growls at Megatron, not carrying if the warlord hears the threat there. Because to protect his mate? He’ll burn the world down around him.

Previous

[anotherjheastan]

Another Complicated Love Story

A Jey Uso x Rhea Ripley FanFic

Chapter 5 | Masterlist

CW none

Chapter 6: That’s What You Get

That’s what you get when you let your heart win

I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating

- That’s What You Get by Paramore

December 24, 2024

Rhea was gently shaken before the light was turned on. Rhea blinked her eyes. She gently rubbed them. They were a little puffy from crying the night before. She heard her best friend, Jessica clear her throat.

“From Adelaide, South Australia, your future Women’s World Champion, Rhea Bloody Ripley!!” Jessica announced.

Rhea sat up and smiled. “No announcing before coffee.”

“Well good thing the coffee’s done, mate. Now get up,” Jessica said.

Rhea followed Jessica into the kitchen. She looked at her phone. A lot of texts from Naomi. None from Jey. Fuck. Fucking Liv Morgan. Wasn’t she still with Dom? Why would she be pushing up on Jey? And what were they talking about anyway?

Jessica poured Rhea a mug from the pot. She sipped it and read through Naomi’s messages.

Jey said y’all are done? What happened?

Are you okay?

Just let me know you’re okay, Big Momma ❤️

Rhea sighed. “Naomi’s texting me.”

“I told her I’d make sure you’d text her this morning,” Jessica replied. “I told her you were alright.”

“You and Naomi talk?” Rhea asked, smiling.

“Yeah, we’ve been DMing since I’ve been planning to come see you. I’ve got her number now. We’re friends.”

Rhea shook her head. “Ok, let me text back.”

Hi Nae. I’m okay. Yeah we’re done. He was chatting up Liv Morgan. Did he tell you that?

Naomi: Liv Morgan?! I’m gonna get to the bottom of this

Rhea: There’s nothing to figure out. Thanks though.

“I think Naomi would agree with you about this all being a misunderstanding,” Rhea said, sitting on one of her bar stools.

Rhea had updated Jessica after she left medical. Damian went with her to the airport and he helped with getting her seat switched so she wouldn’t have to sit next to Jey. But he was flying to New York so he left for a different gate.

“I’m just saying I think you should hear him out,” Jessica said. “I don’t think he spent over a year pining for you to then go and chat up Liv Morgan. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Dom didn’t make sense either,” Rhea said.

“I know and if I ever see him backstage, you’ll have to stop me from kicking him in the dick,” Jessica said, rubbing Rhea’s back. Rhea laughed into her coffee. “But even on FaceTime I could see how smitten Jey is with you.”

Rhea’s smile faded.

“So if there’s something to figure out, let’s do it,” Jessica said.

“Can we figure out breakfast first, please?”

“Well you were supposed to be taking me to Waffle House. Is that off the table?” Jessica asked.

Rhea sighed. “No, let’s get ready and go.”

They finished their coffee, focusing their conversation on Jessica, her boyfriend Tony, and life back home in Australia. They showered and got dressed. Jessica pulled her long, brown hair into a ponytail. Rhea combed and brushed her hair, making sure it was straight.

“I think I’m ready for long hair again,” Rhea said, eyeing Jessica’s ponytail.

“You’ll get there soon enough.”

Before they headed out, Rhea saw another text from Naomi.

Naomi: Tell my girl Jessica I said what’s up. Y’all have fun today. Don’t forget I have gifts for you!

Rhea: Thanks girl. I’ll pick them up soon. I’ll bring your gift as well.

Naomi: For me?! You shouldn’t have!

Rhea smiled and put her phone down to drive.

Rhea and Jessica were enjoying their meal, snapping pics and posting on Instagram.

“I need to figure out a way to take some of these waffles back home,” Jessica said, tearing into her second chocolate chip waffle.

Rhea laughed. Her phone buzzed. A text from Naomi.

Naomi: Do you know what Jey and Liv were talking about? Do you want to know?

Rhea sighed. Did it matter? Maybe it did. Maybe that’s why Naomi was texting her. But would Jey tell the truth about what they were talking about anyway? What if he just lied to her? Rhea slid her phone over to Jessica. She read the message.

“Hell yeah we wanna know. Text her back!”

“I’m only responding ‘cause you wanna know.”

“Liar,” Jessica replied.

Rhea: What were they talking about?

Naomi: They were talking about Waffle House and Christmas plans. You know how enthusiastic he is about Waffle House. He would talk to any damn one about Waffle House.

Rhea laughed. Jey definitely would. If Waffle House had ambassadors, Jey Uso would be one. He was the reason they were at Waffle House now.

“But why didn’t he just say that?” Rhea asked.

“Based on the timeline of events you told me, you didn’t give him a chance to,” Jessica said. “You kicked him out of medical, went to the airport with Priest, switched seats on the plane. And he probably wanted to respect your space.”

All the color drained from Rhea’s face. She really hadn’t let him say anything. She rubbed her temples.

“I fucked up didn’t I?”

“Maybe a tiny bit,” Jessica said, smiling nervously.

Why hadn’t she trusted him? Given him the benefit of the doubt? Because she had trusted Dom. Because she had given Dom the benefit of the doubt and it blew up in her face. Because Dom hurt her. And now she had hurt Jey. She remembered his face in medical. Had caught glimpses of him at the airport when they landed back in Florida. She had been too angry. She had shut down.

“Fucking Dom,” Rhea sighed.

“Fucking Dom,” Jessica repeated.

Rhea: I fucked up didn’t I? There’s no fixing this, is there?

Naomi: He’s open to talking. I can be the mediator.

Rhea: Good to know. I’ll see you Thursday.

Naomi: Yeah we have to figure out this ride situation for the holiday show.

Shit. Rhea and Jessica were supposed to be riding with Naomi and Jey. She put a pin in that and went out to text Damian.

Rhea: Oh my God. Jey and Liv were talking about Waffle House.

Damian: I told you to go to therapy.

Rhea: I thought I was fine.

Damian: You’re always fine until you’re not. Do you need the number?

Rhea: No, I got it. I’ll make an appointment.

Damian: Don’t make me check on you

Rhea: lol I got it. And Jessica says hi.

Damian: Hi Jessica. I’m glad you’re there in person to help talk some sense into Rhea. Text me when she makes that appointment.

Rhea: Really? You’re just gonna text that like this isn’t my phone?

Damian: Well, don’t read it. I don’t know. I’ll talk to you later.

Rhea: lol love you.

Damian: love you too.

Thursday, December 26

Rhea parked her car on the road in front of Jimmy and Naomi’s house. They would be taking Jimmy’s SUV and she didn’t want to block the driveway. They were there a few minutes early. Rhea and Jey were meeting at 9 am to talk before getting on the road at 10. Naomi would keep Jessica company. She felt uneasy. She had tried to text Jey directly, but everything she started typing sounded dumb. Even Jessica tried to help, but it still wasn’t right. So she had just let Naomi do the talking. She would explain herself today. She gripped the steering wheel.

“Hey,” Jessica said gently. She reached out and touched Rhea’s hand. “No matter what, it’s gonna be okay. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it will. He’s not Dom, but I’ll kick him in the dick too if it helps.”

Rhea laughed. “Thanks Jess. I’m sure Jey won’t need a kick in the dick though.”

“Okay then. Let’s go see if we still have a ride to this holiday show,” Jessica said.

“Okay that’s not helping,” Rhea said, opening her car door.

“My bad,” Jessica replied, opening her car door as well.

Rhea grabbed Naomi’s, Jimmy’s, and Jey’s gifts out the trunk. Rhea and Jessica rang the bell.

“Naomi!!!” Rhea exclaimed.

“Big Momma!” Naomi replied enthusiastically. .

“Naomi!!!” Jessica exclaimed.

“Jessica!!!” Naomi cheered.

Naomi hugged Rhea and Jessica. Rhea handed Naomi the gifts.

“Keep Jey’s. You’ll be able to give it to him yourself. He brought his gift for you. How are you doing?”

“Apart from feeling like a giant idiot, I’m great,” Rhea said.

“It’s gonna be okay, girl,” Naomi said. “Come in.”

Rhea and Jessica stepped inside. But what if it wasn’t okay? What if Jey never wanted to see her again? What if they were really done? An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.

Please don’t throw up, she thought.

Jessica gave Rhea a hug before sitting on the couch. Naomi walked Rhea to the sunroom where Jey was waiting. Naomi opened the door. She stepped aside and Rhea walked in. Rhea’s breath caught. He looked so good even if he was just in a hoodie and sweatpants. He had on all black. He had a fresh haircut. And he looked…solemn. He wasn’t his smiling, silly self. Had she done that to him? She felt her eyes start to water, but she blinked back the tears. Rhea smiled, but Jey didn’t return it. She gripped the Christmas gift bag tighter in her hands.

“Can I leave you two alone?” Naomi asked.

“Yes,” they said simultaneously.

“Okay. I’ll be back at 10,” Naomi said. She shut the door behind her.

“Hi,” Rhea said, softly. She was still standing near the door.

“Hi,” Jey said matter-of-factly. He put his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants.

He’s really mad, Rhea thought. Understandable.

“Can we sit down?” Rhea asked.

“Yeah,” Jey said, sitting down.

Rhea sat on the other side of the couch, leaving some space between them. She put her gift bag in between them and rubbed her hands on her thighs. Her hands were starting to sweat already. She quietly exhaled before looking at him.

“I’m sorry for how I acted on Monday,” Rhea said slowly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. I was wrong. I put my crap on you and I shouldn’t have. I’m starting therapy in January since I have unresolved emotions around…you know who. I don’t wanna put any more of my crap on you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Jey nodded. Rhea wanted the silence to be filled with anything. She couldn’t handle the quiet and hated how distant she felt from him.

“What happened…really hurt,” Jey started. “I care about you a lot. Trust is important to me. You have to trust me and I have to trust you. Right now, I don’t trust you.”

Rhea’s mouth twisted to the side. His words felt like a blow to the chest. She blinked a few times and looked away from him. Fuck, fuck, fuck, she thought. She took a deep breath and blew out a shaky breath. She looked at him.

“I understand. And I will do everything in my power to earn your trust back. If…if you let me,” Rhea’s voice cracked at the end and a tear fell from her eye. She quickly wiped it away.

“We’ll see,” Jey said.

What did that mean? She had gotten used to reading him, but this was really her first time dealing with upset Jey. She’d never seen him this upset and definitely not at her. But she messed up. She had to own it. And whatever happened, happened. Even if that meant losing him forever.

“Here’s your gift,” Rhea said, trying and failing to hold back more tears. She held out the bag to him. He took it, their hands brushing each other. Her heart stopped aching long enough for it to flutter. He handed her her gift.

Rhea stood up, wiping more tears away. “I’ll see you out there? Are we good for Jacksonville?”

Jey nodded. “We’re good.”

Rhea nodded and then quickly left. She walked to the couch and sat in between Jessica and Naomi. They wrapped their arms around her. Rhea let more tears fall.

“How did it go?” Jessica asked.

“Okay,” Rhea said quietly. “We can ride together.”

“So you two are good?” Naomi asked, uncertain.

“I don’t know. I think we’re okay for now,” Rhea said. “It’s a lot to work through.”

Naomi nodded. “That’s fair. You wanna open your gift?”

Rhea shrugged. “Why not?”

She reached in the bag and pulled out a black, rectangular box. She opened it and gasped. A beautiful Cuban link bracelet with diamonds. It was similar to the one Jey had. She smiled.

“Nice,” Jessica said, under her breath.

Rhea closed it and put it back in the bag. She opened up the card he had in there.

I’m used to you catching up to how I’m feeling. So I understand if you’re not ready to hear me say I love you, but I do. I love you. I shouldn’t write this in a note to you. I should say it to your beautiful face. But I don’t want to scare you off. But I’m pretty sure you love me too. It’s in your eyes, the way you stare at me sometimes. I know because I stare at you like that too. Things are getting serious for me. I hope you’re thinking like that too. I see a future for us forreal. Thank you for a wonderful time together so far. Months have felt like forever. I wonder what years will feel like. I can’t wait to find out.

Love, Jey

Tears streamed down Rhea’s face. He loved her! He loved her! Rhea had written her note for his gift a few days before the drama on Raw. But she left it there, full of hope. And it seems like Jey had left his note in there for her. So there was a chance. Maybe they weren’t completely done.

“Are you okay? What did he say?” Jessica asked.

Rhea nodded. “These are happy tears.”

“I’ll get you some tissue,” Naomi said.

Naomi returned and Rhea wiped her face.

“Thank you. He said he loves me. And I wrote in my note that I love him.”

“Y’all are so sickening,” Naomi said.

“Agreed,” Jessica said.

Rhea laughed. She held the note to her chest and sighed. She started crying again.

“Hey it’s 9:58,” Jey said, walking over to the girls. He stopped when he saw Rhea. “Are you okay?”

Rhea smiled and nodded. “Happy tears.”

Jey smiled for the first time at her. And Rhea wanted to collapse into a puddle on the floor. He held his hand out to her. She hesitated, putting the note down. He stuck out both hands and nodded. She took them and he pulled her into a hug. He smelled amazing. Rhea held him tight. He squeezed her too. They separated and he wiped some of her tears away. He looked from her eyes to her lips and Rhea’s heart pounded. He kissed her on the forehead. She was just happy to feel his lips on her again.

“While I’m glad y’all made up, y’all are gonna be late if you don’t get going,” Jimmy said.

“Ugh, really Jimmy? You can’t let them have a moment?” Naomi said.

Jimmy held up his hands. “I’m just saying.”

“Let’s go,” Jey said. “Bye Jim.”

“Bye Jey. Nice meeting you, Jessica. Bye Rhea,” Jimmy said, as Naomi walked up to him.

Naomi kissed Jimmy and told him to take it easy. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Be safe and have fun,” Jimmy replied.

Jessica and Rhea waved at Jimmy. Rhea grabbed her bag out of her car and tossed it in the SUV. Jessica and Rhea sat in the back. Naomi and Jey in front, Naomi in the driver’s seat. Naomi put on her playlist and they headed to Jacksonville.

[sunnyie-eve]

48 | Boundaries

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: mention of rape & abortion

| MASTERLIST |

Everyone was just hanging out in the living room when Colby decided to do a surprise visit. Nick was on his laptop, Chris was watching TikTok's in his phone, and Dani and Matt were watching a black mirror episodes.

All eyes went towards the front door not expecting anyone. Matt says he'll see who it was and when he saw it was Colby he mentally sighed.

"What a surprise." Matt lets him in.

"Wanted to check in on Dani." Colby says and Dani hears him so she rolls her eyes before the two join everyone.

"Colby." Dani gives him a smile.

"I wanna take you to lunch. So get ready to go. I'm not taking no for an answer." He tells her so she gets up going to her room to change bottoms.

The guys don't really chat because Dani rushed so Colby wouldn't start anything with Matt asking stupid questions.

The car ride to lunch not a single one of them said a thing and even at lunch for the first few minutes no one said anything either.

"Why did you want to take me lunch?" Dani speaks up first, "And don't lie to me because you have never done this before."

Colby chuckles nodding his head, "That is true."

"So why now? So you can interrogate me more about  my friendship with Matt?"

"I'm just curious." He tells her.

"And I keep telling you the same thing."

"And I don't believe you or him. It's; we're close friends... It's; he's attractive but we're friends. It's; we're just friends. It's; matching tattoos but means nothing." He goes on to rant.

"You never believe me. Why?" She asks wanting to know.

"Because you have lied to me in the past about things in your relationship with your ex."

"What? He was abusive and that was proven." She says more confused than ever.

"You said y'all never did anything and you did. I found papers in mom's files about your abortion."

Dani stares at him and hates that he brought that up, "I never lied because we never did it. I was raped by his older brother that just got out of jail before going back." She lowers her voice since they were in public still, "I was 15 and I only told mom about it and we took care of it. It wasn't any of yours, Gage's, or Dad's business. I went to therapy for that not just for my anxiety."

"Dani."

"We aren't talking about it anymore. And that's final. And yes, I'm your baby sister but you need to mind your own business. Especially when it comes to who I like or don't like." She tells him.

"Exactly, you're my baby sister therefore I have a right to know things. Especially when it comes to your dating life. Especially when it's maybe with a guy you met through me."

Dani rolls her eyes, "You do not have a right. And I already knew of Matt because I was friends with Nick. You only helped by letting us finally meet up. I chose to come back here after Texas not you. My choice lead to my friendship with Matt." She explains to him.

"Also I can be curious because you two barely knew each other when he asked you to move in. That's weird to me. Why would he do that?"

"Because I needed a place to go because I didn't want to go live with you again. You would do the I told you so shit!" She snaps a bit.

"Well yeah, because I told you how she was."

"Exactly my point, Colby. If I had to make that choice again not even knowing Nick the way I did... I would still take Matt's offer than live with you." She sighs.

Colby can't help but roll his eyes a bit, "You're supposed to pick family first."

Dani can't help but laugh, "Pick family first? Okay, you wanna go there... Four years ago when I came to visit you for a week. You took me to a crazy house party then left me and the party to go hook up with some girl. I had such a bad panic attack I was taken to the hospital by some strangers at the party. You had no idea I was missing until the next day was practically over with and the hospital called you instead of mom."

"How many times have I apologized for that?"

"You shouldn't have had to because it shouldn't have never happened." She tells him, "You wanna know something sad I've realized living with them? Matt knows me more than you do Colby. Those brothers know me more than my own family." She tries not to tear up, "I feel more at home with them and their parents and Justin than with my own."

Colby just states at Dani before she gets up from the table, "Where are you going?"

"Home." She wipes her tears away leaving and he follows her.

"Are you really get a ride back?"

"I am and an uber isn't too far." She gets one to go home.

"You're being ridiculous right now."

Dani spins to face him, "Me? I'm not throwing a tantrum that my sister isn't telling me if she likes her best friend or not. And say I did and I wanted a relationship with him. What are you gonna do about it?"

Before he could answer the car pulls up so she gets in it going home. As soon as she gets home she tells the boys she wants time alone and they give it to her.

"Why isn't Dani with you three?" Nick reads the twitch chat way later in the night.

"She didn't want to." Chris tells them.

"If she wanted to join us, she would." Nick adds.

"Where is she then?" Chris reads out.

"Her room." Nick tells them then reads a few telling him to go get her to join them, "I'm not making her."

"You guys flip on her so fast." Chris shakes his head, "One second you guys want her out of stuff and now you want her with us."

Dani pushes Matt's door open since she was just in the kitchen, "I heard my name." She looks at them.

"Chat." Nick tells her and sees mixed comments now about her, "Wow." He rolls his eyes at them as Dani walks into view.

She looked like she went through hell. She had been crying almost all day since she got home, "I'm not joining them because I had a bad day." She tells the chat and they could tell by her tone she was upset.

"There, she told you why." Matt says, so she could leave his room now. He knew she just wanted to be alone to cry. Hell, all three of them knew that.

"I'll lay in here for a bit." She turns crawling onto Matt's bed as him and Chris switch spots. Matt made sure to sit at an angle where Dani wasn't being shown much and Chris helps by moving a pillow to block Dani as well.

"Oh, you guys can expect a new video coming out soon on Dani's channel. With me." Chris lets viewers know.

"Because I said no." Matt spits out making Chris and Dani look at him.

"No." She tells him since that wasn't true at all.

"We had that planned. Like since we were back home." Chris tells him.

"Is there a competition going on about...who can be on her channel the most?" Matt asks the three, "Because I seem to be dead last in this with Chris in first."

Nick gives him a look, "You are so butthurt."

"That's one way to put it." Matt agrees.

"Of course, Nick." Nick says then it hits him he said his name instead as the others laugh. "At least I got Dani to laugh." Nick says proud of himself because she needed it.

[oh-saints]

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(listed from earliest work to the latest one; updated on 31/12)

george russell

tiktok challenge

the holiday (pt. 1)

the holiday (pt. 2) [coming soon!]

kieran tierney

[tw; harrasment, violence] concert

dating him...

change

martin odegaard

miss you

dating him...

ode the builder

sunshine becomes you (mini-series; completed)

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steward

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airport

dating him...

gift

[tw] when you're insecure...

when you're injured...

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when you're secretly a Schmeichel...

when you're a Cancelo and secretly dating him...

surprise

open

[18+; smut] enemy

comeback

sign

stars

[18+; suggestive] princess

[18+] nsfw alphabets

paddock

[18+; smut] safeword

[18+; mild smut] saudade

silent

dad!ruben collection

when you have kids with rúben

when you find out you're having twins

when you have twin daughters

when you have 2nd kid

when your daughter's scared for his life

when your daughters come to work

[tw; harrasment, violence] when rúben fights for your life

when your family visits amadora

cravings

mason mount

sick

done

dating him...

sweetest devotion (mini series; on-going)

[tw; insecurity] beauty

erling haaland

dating him...

absent

[18+; smut] rough

rob holding

dating him...

max verstappen

you

ben white (no longer writing)

safe

if ben white has a kid...

kepa arrizabalaga (no longer writing)

footballer

charles leclerc

[tw; death] burn

matchmaker (x socmed au)

when he has a kid...

declan rice

when he has a kid...

benjamin pavard

lesson

short

[acourtofquestions]

Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.

[vampiremourning]

anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.

[dxxtruction]

///

[kikuism]

i finished five broken blades

[trust-over-love]

The conversation sucked but was so what I needed. I was asked to respect his decision to move on. & I asked for the respect to not have sex anymore. Because I love my husband & it makes it harder for me to move on. I was being cordial, not trying to fight. But instead of saying okay & ending the conversation I get shit talked about me. Like what?

I want to move on peacefully as well, just as he requested & not having sex with someone I love who no longer loves me back makes me wrong? So much negative things being said to me. When the convo could’ve been so short. Just crazy. Proves me how toxic he truly is.

But the conversation was needed for me to understand that I am not the only one who messed up. I was lied to & made to believe we’d always work through it & always get stronger through our downfalls. I mean I literally got all the proof of his betrayal, but to him it was nothing & I’m the bad guy. He told me to stay when I should’ve left & now he denies it lmao Okay. We both messed up. Take accountability as I have. I was willing to always try & you lied about never giving up & always trying & that divorce was never an option. Thanks for showing me your true colors. Even showing me how much of a snitch he is by threatening me with law enforcement like really. Thank you for the push. I’m with our kids 85% of the time cause you work a lot & that’s okay I understand that but you threaten to try to get me in trouble with the law. Fake AF. So unbelievable but it’s okay. Thank god I didn’t decide to go back to that place when you asked me to for our kids. I knew it wasn’t gonna be a good idea & I’m so thankful I stuck to my gut feeling.

& he’s mad I use this app to vent instead of talking to people & posting on apps where people know us. Don’t nobody know me here. Don’t nobody even care. You left me, you can’t dictate how I heal myself from being fooled. Crazy how the truth unfolds when things get rough.

[thrasherella]

Needy Werewolf Husband is going into his rut and is really, reaallllyyyyy trying to get his wife's attention away from the household chores she's insisting on finishing before he can have his way with her...

...

He followed her all around the kitchen as she tidied up, wrapping his arms around her from behind and groping her tits as she cleaned the few dishes in the sink, pinching and teasing her nipples as she sighed and moaned, grinding his hard cock into her soft ass, his breath hot and voice desperate against her ear as he begged her to let him fuck her already.

"Please let me put it in..." he whined, nipping at the shell of her ear lightly in frustration as his swollen, red cock throbbed against her, begging for more attention, for more friction, for more anything; he felt like he was starting to lose his mind.

She had told him to keep humping her ass like a horny little puppy if he couldn't wait, and he really couldn't. He continued fondling her breasts, palming and squeezing them in his massive hands, and she whimpered and mewled, rolling her hips back against his.

"See, you want it too..."

She continued to deny him as she finished wiping and organizing the kitchen counters, his cock dribbling all over her backside as he pumped against her, unable to stop himself. He needed to pin her down, needed to stuff her full of his cock; he could smell her arousal mounting as she ground that perfect little ass back against him, her honeyed scent driving him absolutely wild.

"Just a little longer love, you're being such a good boy," she cooed, scratching him gently under his chin as he made puppy dog eyes at her, eliciting from him a low, humming moan.

He humped her legs while she vacuumed the living room, whimpering and growling as she did her best to ignore him, slowly and methodically making her way across the room as he ground into her, dragging and rubbing his cock against her, staining her clothes with his sticky precum, nipping at the back of her neck and ears, demanding her attention.

"Please, need to fuck you now baby, need to fill you; need to empty my cock into your perfect little pussy and give you a litter of pups..."

"Be a good boy and wait until I'm done cleaning the bedroom, okay?" she had purred, and he whimpered a weak agreement in response.

When they got to the bedroom however, she was helpless against him as he shoved her face first down onto the mattress, ripping apart those pesky little shorts and panties that had been blocking his aching cock, confirming what he already knew from her overwhelming scent that her cunt was already drenched and waiting for him to stretch and fill her.

"I lied," he huffed, mounting her from behind and lining up his dripping cockhead with her pussy, parting her nether lips slowly around him, loving how she moaned into her pillow as he did. "I don't wanna be a good boy; and you were a bad girl, it's not nice to tease a rutting wolf...now you be good, and take my knot," he hilted into her in one hard thrust, feeling her pussy clenching around him; a low, rumbling growling escaping his throat, and a deliciously muffled scream coming from her as he knotted her, forcing every inch of himself into her tight cunt.

He was already so overstimulated, biting down into her shoulder as he came, painting her insides white as he filled her with his thick load, and she cried out as her own orgasm crashed over her, hips bucking and rolling against him, squirting her climax all over his dick and pooling on the bedsheets.

"That's a good girl," his breath was hot against her ear, pushing her hips up slightly to get one clawed hand between her and the mattress, flittering and rubbing his fingers against her swollen clit, loving how she writhed and squirmed beneath him helplessly. "No more chores, no where for you to go, sweet thing stuffed and stuck on my knot...just be a good girl and turn off your brain, and squirt on my dick again, and again, and again while I make you my cum-dumpster..."

She couldn't deny this was exactly what she wanted...she knew her husband better than anyone and knew that denying him was a sure fire way to make sure he took extra time to "punish" her for the time she had wasted keeping him waiting.

Oh no, what a tragedy that would be...

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Me, You, and Baby, Too

Summary: You and Joel have always wanted kids, but didn't want to rush into having them until you both were ready. After a surprise at his job, Joel realizes there's nothing more he wants to do than put a baby in you as soon as he gets home.

Pairing: Husband!Joel Miller x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 4.1K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (it's baby making time, so hush), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, big ole fat and nasty breeding kink (.... don't look at me it's bad), creampie, cum play, talks of starting a family, calling Joel "Daddy" (in the sense you want to have his babies, but also 🤷🏼‍♀️), Sweet soft Joel who loves his wife and would give her the universe if he could, honestly with just the way Joel is talking about makin' babies, I think I'm pregnant

A/N: It's that time of the month where Madeline ovulates and writes feral breeding kink smut!!! 🤪 Okay I am so nervous to post this because I have never written for Joel before and I'm worried it's trash with a capital T, but after re-watching TLOU, I need 2003 Joel Miller carnally, so here we are. This is also inspired by @mrsmando post about 2003 Joel Miller constantly keeping you barefoot and pregnant because it made me unwell, and no lies were told. (thanks for ruining my life mimi) 🤠 ANYWHO I hope you guys like it, and if not, I'll shut up and go back to writing Javi and Frankie and pretend like this didn't happen

There were a lot of stereotypical answers that you expected from your husband when you asked him how his day at work had been:  

“Good.” 

“Fine.” 

“Long.” 

“My knees are killin’ me.” 

“Tommy did somethin’ fuckin’ stupid again.” 

“Better now that I’m home with you.” 

So when Joel arrived home today after a new job he had started with Tommy on a bathroom renovation, there were few things that could have prepared you for the response your husband had when you asked him how his day had gone. 

“Hey, honey. How was your day today?” You smiled, watching Joel stroll in through your front door, kicking off his work boots at the entryway, beginning to put away his things before strolling into the kitchen to greet you. 

“Pretty good." He paused, leaning in for a quick kiss before making his way over to the closet before speaking again. "Saw a real cute baby today.” 

You could practically feel your heart skip a beat as you looked up from the vegetables you had been cutting up for dinner, tightening the grip you had around your knife to make sure you didn’t drop it in shock. 

Out of all the things for Joel to bring up on the first day at a new job, a cute baby had been at the top of the list.

Not floor plans. 

Not timelines for the project.

Not something stupid that Tommy did. 

Not even what he had done today on the job. 

The top news that Joel Miller had to report back to you about his day was the sighting of a cute baby. 

You and Joel had always agreed that you’d wanted kids, and your husband had been not only adamant, but genuinely excited at the prospect of becoming a dad. But only being a little less than a year into your marriage, the two of you had decided you didn’t want to rush into anything, and when the time felt right, you’d both know it. 

But one by one, as your friends began to announce their pregnancies, baby showers, and pictures of their adorable newborns, you couldn’t help but deny the baby fever starting to burn hotter and hotter inside you with every passing day. 

You’d brought it up in passing a few times with Joel, talking about your friends who had kids, or a cute mom and her children you saw walking around in your neighborhood, and while he had always had a positive response to what you had to say, you just had a feeling that now just wasn’t the time for the two of you yet, and that was okay.  

But here you were, standing in your kitchen, jaw practically scraping the ground at the notion that your husband had dropped just about the least subtle hint ever that babies weren’t just at the forefront of your mind- they were on his, too. 

“Awh, really?” You asked, shaking your head to snap out of your shocked state, returning back to dice the onion you had been working on before Joel could turn around to see you after finishing hanging up his things in the closet, trying to subtly coax more information out of him. 

“Yeah.” He smiled, joining you in the kitchen, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer to his chest for a soft kiss to greet you, “The family we’re startin’ the bathroom reno for just moved in. Had their first baby a few months ago and just hadn’t had time to work on fixin’ things.” 

“So they’re already putting the baby to work with you and Tommy?” You teased, raising an eyebrow at Joel playfully, giving him a quick peck back on the lips as he laughed at your sass. 

“Cheap labor.” Joel shrugged back, playing into the joke, “Nah, she woke up from her nap while Tommy and I were runnin’ through some measurements so her mom brought her out for the last lil bit we were there. She was damn cute, too. Just smilin’ and laughin’ at everything.” 

You were glad Joel’s arm was still wrapped around your hip, because you were convinced if it wasn’t, you were about to melt to the floor into a puddle, watching how soft and sweet Joel was talking about a cute, smiling baby. 

“Well a cute baby definitely sounds like a very nice perk of being on the job.” You smirked, trying to play it cool enough to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest. 

“Yeah.” Joel replied softly, quietly pausing for a moment, watching the gears turning in his brain, carefully calculating his words before he spoke. 

“You okay?” You asked, looking up at Joel, knowing your husband well enough that he had something on his mind he was trying to work up the confidence to spit out. 

Joel looked back down at you, big brown eyes locking with yours as his grip around your waist tightened ever so slightly, tongue swiping against his plush bottom lip as he took a long, deep breath in and slow exhale out.  

“Honey, what is it?” You asked again, now slightly concerned with how nervous your husband looked in his stoic silence, reaching up to gently wrap your fingers around his arm, thumb stroking his skin. 

“I want one.” 

You froze, worried that your heart may have actually stopped as you looked at Joel, making sure that you had really just heard what he had said. 

“W-what?” 

“I want one. A baby. I- I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked about it, but I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot, and seein’ that baby today, it just- shit, I just couldn’t stop picturin’ what it would be like to have one of our own I guess.” 

If you weren’t a puddle before, you sure as fuck were now.  

An overwhelming sensation of nerves and excitement began thrumming through your veins, your heart beat pounding in your ears as your face grew warm and a smile started to spread between your cheeks. You were almost certain you had to be dreaming, asking again to make sure that someone needed to come and wake you up and send you back to reality. 

“Joel… Really?” 

“Yeah, really. Nothin’ I want more. I know I ain’t gonna even be close to the perfect dad, but I know you’ll be sucha good mom, and I’ll be damned if I don’t want some tiny lil versions of us runnin’ around. Couldn’t think of anything that would make me happier than that. Like I said, I know that we ain’t talked about in a while, and if ya aren’t ready yet that’s okay but I-” 

Before Joel could even finish the rest of his thought, you were pressing up to plant your lips to his with passionate intensity, hands roaming up his chest before cupping his jaw and the scratchy stubble of his cheeks while your stomach flipped with arousal and want, already feeling a damp patch beginning to pool in the cotton of your underwear. 

You pulled away, kisses traveling along his jawline and up his neck until you were nipping at his ear, the hot breath of your words whispering against his skin. 

“You wanna make a baby, Joel Miller?” 

“Fuck-” Joel groaned, reaching his other arm around you grab at your ass, pulling you in tight enough to feel the bulge beginning to grow under the denim of his worn jeans, pressing against your thigh.

“‘Cause there’s nothing that I want more than to make you a daddy.” You smirked, looking up to watch Joel’s eyes darken with lust, jaw going slack as a low groan rumbled in his chest, his once half hard cock now fully erect and straining against his zipper, trying to keep from giggling watching your husband try to string together any sort of thoughts to speak. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ-” He moaned, running his hand over his face to try and regain his composure to keep from busting right then and there. “You- fuck, you sure, baby?” 

“Mhmmmm. Don’t think I’ve ever been so sure of anything in my whole life. So sure,” you paused, softly pressing your lips to his between words, “that I think we should go make one right now.” 

Your adamant confirmation was all it took to set off something almost animalistic in Joel, crashing his lips back into yours in a messy clash of tongues and teeth, gripping his hands under your thighs to hoist you up around his hips and lock your legs behind the small of his back. Without ever letting your mouths part, Joel was already halfway to the bedroom before you had even realized it, playfully giggling at how frantically he was carrying you down the hallway, your bodies bumping against the walls and door frames, too focused on desperate and needy kisses for any sort of spatial awareness. 

Finally reaching your bed, Joel carefully laid you down, letting your back fall into the mattress, leaving your lower half to hang off the edge before your husband was on his knees, settling himself between your parted thighs. 

You sat up on your elbows, watching as Joel tightened his grip around the meat of your legs, peppering kisses up the inside of each across your soft skin before coming face to face with your core, planting another soft kiss there before letting his fingers ghost over your heat, still covered by your jeans. 

He rapidly worked at the button of your pants, shuffling them down off your hips to reveal your underwear, now absolutely soaked with arousal from the prospect alone of Joel knocking you up and carrying his baby. 

“Jesus Christ, baby girl, look at ‘cha.” Joel tutted, admiring how the cotton of your underwear clung to the outline of your cunt, sticking to the puffy and swollen lips of your pussy from how wet you were. “Haven’t even touched ya yet. This all for me, darlin’?” 

Just as you began to try and answer, Joel took one of his fingers, barely dragging it over the damp fabric before beginning to rub soft circles over your covered clit, eliciting a pathetic whimper from you at the electric sensation.  

“F-fuck- It’s all for you, b-baby.” You stammered, moaning even louder as a second finger joined the first, pressing more pressure into you sensitive nub as he nudged each of your legs to drape over his shoulders, his free hand tugging at the waistband of your underwear, making you instinctually lift your hips as he yanked them off your legs to crumple in a messy pile with your pants. 

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy I’ve ever seen.” Joel mewled, running his fingers up and down through the weeping seams of your folds, toying with your entrance while draping his arm across your hips to hold your squirming lower half in place. “Wants me to fuck her full of me and fill her up so bad, huh?” 

“P-please, Joel. Want you to fill me up so badly.” You whimpered, staring down at your husband, a devilish grin spread across his face, licking his lips as his eyes darted back and forth between your blissed out face and the glistening mess between your thighs. 

“I will sweetheart, promise. Gotta taste you first though, baby. Gotta make sure you’re nice n’ready for me. ‘Cause once we start, I ain’t lettin’ you outta this bed ‘till I knock you up.” 

With that, Joel was diving between your legs, lapping you up in long and firm strokes, pressing against your clit in the way he knew would make you fall apart under his tongue. While he would have loved to have spend hours just like this, making you writhe under his touch, drinking up your arousal like a wandering man parched in the heat of the desert, Joel had one thing on his mind, and one thing only- 

To get you pregnant.   

Joel began to intensify the pace of his tongue, swirling and sucking around your clit as two of his thick fingers pushed into your heat, sliding in and out of your entrance with ease from how wet and worked up you were. Curling his fingers ever so slightly, you cried out as Joel bumped against your g-spot, pushing against the soft, spongy spot as his tongue worked its magic. 

You could feel the arousal shooting through your veins, heat beginning to bloom in your stomach as Joel fucked you with his fingers and mouth, shooting your hand down to grab fistfulls of his thick, brown hair to brace yourself for your impending orgasm. 

“J-Joel, oh fuck- Fuck, baby, I’m c-close. Don’t stop, please, don’t stop.” You whined, pussy beginning to flutter around Joel’s fingers, the tightening only egging him on further to get you to cross the finish line. 

With just a little more pressure of his tongue, Joel could feel your cunt clamping down around his digits, watching the pleasure shoot through your body as you came, your orgasm crashing through you like a tsunami. 

As you reached your high, Joel drank up your arousal, not faltering in his pace, too focused on your pretty cries of his name being chanted like a prayer to do anything but keep going and making you feel good. 

Truth be told, Joel had gotten so lost between your thighs, the only thing stopping him was the tensing feeling between his, so pussy drunk and determined to fuck you full of him that he was worried he was about to cum too if he didn’t stop. 

Pulling off you, Joel frantically stood up, racing to undo his belt and jeans, yanking them down his legs in tandem with his boxers as his cock slapped against his stomach, precum already pearling from his tip, desperate to be inside of you. His shirt quickly followed his pants, ripping it over his head as his broad body caged yours under him, helping you to scoot back on the bed until your head hit the pillows, trailing kisses up and down your body the whole way. 

As Joel kissed and nipped at your skin, you quickly shuffled off your top and bra, leaving you bare beneath him, moaning as his tongue flicked against each of your newly exposed pebbled nipples, grouping your breast and kneading the soft flesh in his palms. 

Even though you had just came, you could already feel your cunt starting to clench around nothing, desperate to feel Joel inside of you, to stretch you out with his thick cock and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight. But with the way your chest was heaving and breath shaking from your orgasm, you could barely muster out the words you wanted. 

“J-Joel, p-please, baby. P-please.” 

You snaked your hand between your bodies to reach for Joel’s cock, wrapping your fingers around his length and swiping your thumb over his leaking tip, a low groan rumbling in his chest as you stroked him, trying to guide him to slide between your legs and ease your ache. 

Lowering his hips, you moved your hand and let his replace it, Joel pumping himself a few times before guiding his tip between your folds, collecting your slick to coat his cock, using every last ounce of self-control he had as his eyes locked with yours, wanting to see your face as he pushed inside you. 

“Please, what, darlin’?” Joel teased, knowing damn well what you were begging for. 

“Need to feel you, Joel. Need you to put a baby in me.” You moaned, reaching up to grab his face, your palm rubbing against his stubble as your fingers tugged on the curls at the nape of his neck. 

With one more pump, Joel lined himself up with your entrance, sliding into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting of his length making the breath hitch in the back of your throat, filling you up inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you with his tip just kissing your cervix. 

Joel couldn’t help but smirk as he watched your mouth fall open, parted lips letting a soft moan escape while your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head at the newfound sensation, giving you another moment to adjust before he began to slowly roll his hips, dragging his cock in and out of your core. 

“Christ, baby girl, so wet and tight. Like this pussy was made just for me. Made for me to fuck ya full of me until it’s got no choice but to fuckin’ take.” Joel groaned, reaching down to grab your thighs, pinning your knees to your chest, stretching you open to take Joel even deeper, practically feeling him in your stomach with the position he had you in. 

“Joel, oh my god- fuck, you feel so good. Fuck, baby. Want you to fill me up so bad.” You whimpered, Joel now beginning to pick up his pace as he thrust in and out of you, continually punching in that perfect spot over and over again, leaving your brain bordering on short circuiting. 

Joel’s fingertips dug deeper into the flesh of your thighs, pushing your legs down just far enough to be chest to chest with you, the sweat dampened curls of his forehead brushing against yours as your mouths met in an electric kiss, catching each other’s muffled moans with each snap of Joel’s hips. 

“Yeah, sweetheart? Want me to fill you up? Fuck a baby into you? Let everyone see what a pretty momma you are, carryin’ our kid?” Joel grunted, picturing you, months from now, belly round and tits swollen, pregnant with your baby, wondering how many you’d let him give you, because fuck, he’d keep knocking you up until he had nothing left to give. 

Each push and pull of your bodies against each other felt more and more electric, an undeniable coil tightening in your stomach with the way Joel was pounding into you and the hairs at the base of his cock were brushing against your clit, already feeling yourself beginning to teeter on the brink of pleasure once again. 

“Yes, fuck, fuck- yes, Joel. I wanna have your baby. Want you to knock me up so I can make you a daddy. Please, baby, please.” You were all but sobbing at this point, your fingers digging into the tan and sweat sheened skin of Joel’s broad shoulders, overwhelmed by the lewd combinations of Joel’s heavy pants in your ear and wet squelching of your pussy as his pelvis flushed against yours repeatedly. 

Joel could feel you beginning to tighten around him, pussy sucking him in with its warmth and wetness, ready to clamp around his cock and milk him for all he was worth. 

“That’s it, darlin’, I know you’re close. Gotta cum for me first though, baby girl. Gotta feel ya soak me before I stuff ya so full of me, I swear t’god, you’ll be drippin’ outta me for days. So fuckin’ full that I’ll get you pregnant right now.” Joel groaned through gritted teeth, leaning back to reach and grab your leg, wrapping it around the small of his back before you lifted your other to join it, locking your ankles to keep him as close to you as possible. 

“Joel, oh my god, fuck baby, fuck, I’m gonna- fuckfuckfuck-” 

Suddenly, your orgasm was rushing through every inch of you, crying out as the pleasure hit you like a freight train, choking Joel’s cock with your pussy, unable to do anything but relish in the white hot bliss that had you nearly floating out of your own body. 

While Joel would have kept fucking you until the sun went down, the truth was he was relieved to feel you cum, spending every second since your agreement in the kitchen trying to keep from finishing until he was balls deep inside you and you were soaking his cock as you reached your high. The realization that now was his chance to make good on his promise, to fill you up and fuck a baby into you, ignited something primal, feral, in him, pounding into you at a punishing pace as he could feel himself teetering on the brink of collapse right with you. 

“That’s my girl. That’s it, cum all over my cock, baby. Shit, I’m gonna cum too, fuck- gonna fill this tight lil pussy up so goddamn much, give you a baby, make you a momma, oh fuck!” 

With one final stutter of his hips, Joel let out a strangled moan, flushing his hips against yours as he milked himself of every last drop, painting your warm, wet walls with hot ropes of his spend, making sure nothing went to waste. 

He couldn’t help but but press even further into you, plugging you with his length and fucking his cum as deep as he could into your cunt to make sure it took, collapsing on top of you with his cock still buried in your heat, letting your chests heave together in sync as you both caught your breath. 

Joel was convinced he had never cum so much in his entire life, afraid that if he pulled out, that somehow he’d have more left to give, and sure as fuck wasn’t going to risk letting anything coming out of him end up not inside of you. 

Well, not until your muffled grunt rumbled beneath him. 

 “Joel, baby, I love you but you’re kinda squishing me.” You huffed, giggling to yourself as you watched your husband come-to in real time out of his post-orgasmic state, immediately offering a half muttered apology as he rolled off you, sitting back on his knees to admire the shiny and slick mess between your legs. 

“Fuck me…” Joel murmured to himself, eyes wide as he stared at your pussy- wet, puffy and soaking with your arousal, bringing his fingers to your spent hole as he watched a dribble of his cum begin to leak out. Gently scooping it up, he collected everything he could, pressing it back into your cunt before pulling his hand out. Crawling up the bed to lay next to you, Joel wrapped you up in his arms as the little spoon, peppering ticklish kisses over your back and shoulders, making you burst into laughter. 

“Joel, stop! That tickles!” You squealed, squirming in his grasp, trying to defend yourself from his unrelenting attack of soft, plush lips and scratchy beard dancing across your skin. 

“Don’t laugh so damn hard, or all my hard work’s ‘bout to come out!” Joel teased, giving you a playful nudge, pulling you in even closer. 

“Stop making me laugh, then! Plus, I think you came enough to put quadruplets inside of me, so I think we’ll be okay.” You snorted, Joel joining in on the laughter. 

“Baby, I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard in my whole goddamn life.” Joel sighed, shrugging as you rolled your head up to look at him and that stupid goofy grin he got whenever he couldn’t contain his excitement about something. “God, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Joel.” 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, Joel slowly bringing his arm to rest across your stomach, thumb slowly tracing careful circles on your skin. 

“You’re gonna make such a good mom. I’m the luckiest man alive that you wanna have a family with me. Still not really sure what I ever did to deserve it.” 

“Joel! You’re gonna make me cry! And this is before pregnancy hormones, ya jerk.” You tried to laugh, choking back the tears welling in your eyes. 

“Yeah, what a jerk, your husband tellin’ you how much he loves you.” He teased back, planting a long kiss on your temple, before pressing another one to your lips. Another wave of soft silence followed, watching Joel’s face scrunch in a calculated concentration. “How big of a crib you think I gotta make? I don’t know ‘bout a rockin’ chair, but a crib can’t be that hard. I gotta measure the guest room tomorrow.” 

“Honey, I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet, you don’t need to have a crib built tomorrow.” You teased, laughing at Joel, despite the fact his mind was already thinking about a baby room and accessories had you melting. 

“Sweetheart, what did I say earlier? I ain’t lettin’ you outta this bed ‘till we know there’s a baby in there.” He smirked, nodding at his hand still splayed across your stomach, “So you better get comfortable, ‘cause if it’s up to me, there ain’t a chance in hell we’re gettin’ anything but a positive pregnancy test at the end of this month, and we'll sure need that crib nine months from now. Never hurts to get a head start."

Tag List: (Sorry if I tagged you and you don't wanna be tagged, just let me know!!)

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24

@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise

@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled

@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper r @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog

@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild

@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[fushiguho]

*ೃ༄ Santa's Coming, Literally!

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Synop. Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa Claus is coming to a local shopping mall near you! Buttt, there’s one thing… is it okay that he’s just your shitty ex-boyfriend in a cheap red suit? He said he’s sorry! :(

Warnings fem!reader, unprotected, semi-public sex, toji fushiguro in a santa costume, ex-lovers, toji has a filthy mouth (duh), breeding, makeup sex, toji’s redemption arc

WC 2k

A/N i had a thought so i opened my notes app. now here we are and i’m scared of what i've written..

“Hi, Santa.” You’re grinning ear to ear as you ecstatically approach the podium upon which the large man sits, his characteristically strapping thighs deliciously sprawled and awaiting in the middle of a large, barren shopping center.

The impersonator hums, quirking a thick, omniscient brow. “Aren’t you a little too old to be sittin’ on Santa’s lap, little girl?” Grumbles the burly stranger that is somehow meant to be Santa Claus. You observe the short tufts of sable hair that peek from below his soft crimson hat, black stubble peppering the skin beneath his detachable beard. They must be on a tight budget, you think.

Your eyes narrow. “Aren’t you supposed to be… I don’t know, jolly?” It’s hardly a joke as you observe the man closer. “Like isn’t that your entire shtick?” You’re seated oh so prettily atop his lap, yet the smile you once wore fades into a pout of utter disbelief, an all too wonted feeling crashing down. Your nose wriggles at the familiar redolence of a cheap, aromatic cologne. Only one man would wear such a maddeningly nauseating scent. “Wha— Toji? God, is that you?”

The faux-bearded man sucks his teeth, eyes rolling in tandem. An inquisitive hand is sneaking up to snatch his limp, crimson hat, and lo and behold, there sits your penniless ex-boyfriend, a crooked, unabashed grin marring those lips you’ve missed so dearly. He expels an exasperated sigh, annoyed that you found him out. “Yeah.” He admits almost defeatedly.

“… why?”

He shrugs. “Dunno, easy money.” His timbre voice cuts, large hips mindlessly adjusting beneath you. “Well? Whadaya want for Christmas then, damnit?”

A hand of disbelief is creeping up to cover your gaped mouth, pretty eyes wide and critical as you swallow the urge to laugh right in his irritatingly perfect face. You can hardly help the small giggle that tumbles past your fingers. “For you to get a real job, god. How did you even come about this? You hate kids.”

A deep, familiar sigh drags from his beautifully scarred lips. “If you’re just gonna sit on my lap to berate me, I’d appreciate a hefty tip at least.” You follow his descending gaze to observe the sad tip jar bedside him. Inside lies a singular, crumpled dollar bill alongside three, pathetic pennies.

“I mean, that hardly bothered you much before and I didn’t even have to pay you then.” You quip, head cocking to the right as you arch a challenging brow.

“Well, that was before you dumped me.”

“Well,” you mock, shoving an accusatory finger into his chest, “you were a shit boyfriend. You deserved it.”

He nods quietly, sucking his teeth. “Said I was sorry, doll.”

“And I said apology not accepted. Do not call me that either.”

“Why, doll? Hardly bothered you much before, heh.” He derides, that same, shit-eating grin lazily spreading across his lips, his intent to piss you off working seamlessly. 

“We’re done here.” You grouse, reaching back to push yourself off of his lap, yet two greedy hands are grabbing hold of your hips, impertinently pulling you back. “Toji.” It’s merely a growl, a warning.

“Oh, c’monnn don’t be like that.” He whines, situating you comfortably onto his lap, his bulging arms wrapping possessively around your waist. “I’m just fucking with you, okay? Dunno why you’re actin’ like you don’t miss me though.” You hear the grin that parts his lips. “I just know you do.”

You’re staring off, back turned as your arms cross over your chest. “I promise you I don’t.”

“Liar.” It’s barely a whisper against the shell of your ear, his breath warm, inciting.

And just like that, you’re falling back into his trap once again, yet this time, he’s dressed as Santa Claus. It’s precisely how you ended up here — achy, trembling thighs spread wide as Toji repeatedly drops you onto his fat, leaking cock. With his back flush against the soft, creaky couch of the employee break room, two burly hands are heavy on the fat of your ass, brazenly spreading you apart as he mindlessly fucks himself inside of your drooling cunt.

God and it’s rather obscene — the repetitive batter of his swollen balls against the gleaming slit of your ass, your poor, leaking pussy effortlessly swallowing the entirety of his cock as if no time has passed at all. Premature arousal spills against your bruised cervix with every kiss of his swollen cockhead. Over and over and over again, he bullies himself deeper and deeper, fucking to the very back of your pretty cunt like a madman on the brink of utter insanity.

Thrust after thrust is forcing the white, fluffy trim of his hat to droop over his eyes, partially occluding his vision. The spineless tip of the red coned cap flops to the left, the white pom-pom at the very end bouncing with each bruising buck of his hips. He groans, burly chest whorishly exposed. The buttons to his plush, velvet coat undone while the white shirt he wears beneath is shoved above his pectorals.

“Goddd,” he gapes, “how could you deprive me of this? Of her? Been missin’ this perfect pussy… think about her all the f— fucking time.” Deliriously, his head is dropping to the side, maw falling slack as his darkened eyes catch yours. “You miss me, baby huh? Miss the way I take care of this sloppy little pussy? And don’t you lie to me, it hurts my heart you know.” He pouts.

Stubbornly, you shake your head in refutation, a contradicting whimper dragging from your parted lips. Your sweater is haphazardly hiked above your chest, perfect tits spilling out the confines of your bra. A glistening sheen of syrupy saliva coats your chest — you’re drooling. It’s utterly embarrassing the way your body is so plainly working against you; your head shaking no, yet the way your arousal slobbers down the length of his cock, his sweet name on the tip of your tongue says otherwise.

He scoffs. “You sure?” Several curious fingers are dragging across your chest, collecting the adorning saliva. “Sweetheart, you’re drooooling.” He coos teasingly, those same fingers dipping into that slutty mouth of his, tasting you.

That voice you’ve missed so dearly has your pussy sucking him in deeper, harder. Warm arousal spilling down the entire length of his cock, pooling near the fat of his balls. “Oh my god, you’re s… so nasty, Toji.”

“Meee?” He gapes incredulously, humor dripping from his tone. “Is it not you that’s fucking Santa Claus in the break room of a shopping mall, sweetheart?”

“Stop, s— stop, don’t call me that!” Both of your hands reach to cover his mouth, fruitlessly attempting to shut him up.

He frowns, pouting against the palm of your hand. “Really?” He muffles, a big hand separates your fingers so that he can speak properly. “I can’t even call you sweetheart now? Not even as fuck you on my cock like this, huh?”

Toji fucks breath after helpless breath out of you; your mouth stupidly gaped as synchronous huffs of air drag from both of your slacked jaws. Every buck of his hips jerking you closer and closer, your parted lips a hair’s breadth away. You can taste his warm, erratic breaths on your tongue, your pants bleeding into one, harmonious rhythm.

“Will you let me kiss you at least?” He all but pleads, chasing your fleeting lips. “Please?”

You can’t help the sigh the drags from your lips, eyes rolling dramatically, yet still, you’re dropping your head to catch his lips in a desperate and haphazard kiss. He tastes the same, like a bitter honey you could never forget. He even kisses the same, still rough and breathless and intentional and sloppy. As if you’re his last, fleeting breath and merely pulling away is a wish of death.

Toji swallows all of your pretty wails of pleasure, tonguing his own, pretty boy moans into your mouth in tandem. He pants breathlessly against your lips between his sloppy kisses. Low, wanton grunts pour from his raptured tongue, willfully spilling against yours. You possess half the brain to notice the heavy digit that’s thumbing your aching clit. You’re reaching a desperate hand between your legs in a fruitless attempt to bat him away.

With a disapproving shake of his head, he’s pushing your hand away. “If you cum like I know you’re about to — fuuuuck, you owe me.” He mutters, a steady hand jerking you further onto his cock. “You hear me? You owe me an apology for lying and a proper I miss you.”

Frantically, you shake your head. “Mmm’not gon… gonna cum for y-you.” You lie, stomach caving in your crescendoing arousal.

“Don’t lie, I know you want to, sweet girl. I can feel it.” His thumb glides over your clit again and again and again, a helpless slew of drunken whimpers tumbling past your gaped mouth. “C’monnnn pretty, cum all over my cock like you used to… make a mess on it, c’mon.”

His lips curl into a gut wrenching snarl as your brows knit, your pretty eyes threatening to roll toward the back of your head. That poor, swollen clit twitches beneath the pad of his finger, wordlessly warning him of your impending orgasm. Your sloppy cunt tightens around the fat cock that impales you, but it’s the thumb that’s parting your lips, sinking inside of your warm, obedient mouth that has you pathetically tumbling over the edge.

“God, I’m s… sorry,” you gasp desperately, sucking down on his thumb as your hips buck to meet his heavy thrusts, “I’m so sorry, baby. I missed youuu… missed your cock… missed the way you make me feel, m’sorryyy.” But it’s completely incoherent, your pretty, quivering speech drunken and slurred.

He laughs. It’s a dark, breathy chuckle and it’s parting his lips in an inebriated smile, teeth bared. “Yeaaah? You sorry, baby?” The subtle lilt of enthusiasm that adorns his tone makes your head spin.

Dumbly you nod, humming sweetly, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. Warm arousal seeps from your cunt, pooling in a rich, creamy layer at the base of his cock. The fat of his balls achingly swollen and gleaming, begging for release. Sticky gossamers of ungodly arousal tether you as one, stretching and snapping between the heat of your sexes.

“If you really miss me,” he pants, his wet lips creeping along your throat, “you’ll let me cum in that pretty pussy like old times, hm?”

“Toji.” You warn.

“Please? Be a good girl for Santa, come on,” his lips are on yours again, two large hands reaching for the sides of your face, dragging you closer, “please?” It’s muttered into your mouth and you swallow his prayer. “Pleasepleaseplease?” Another sloppy kiss to the shell of your ear. “For Santa?”

What’s left of your dwindling resolve is dripping from your sweet tongue in a beautiful, helpless whine. Again, you’re caving with barely any give. Your frantic nod of approval makes his cock twitch. It jerks against the walls of your tensing cunt, warning you. His sounds are whorish and guttural, groan after willful groan spilling past his lips, heavy hips steady and unrelenting beneath you while he tugs you down, down, down.

He’s a sight for the sorest of eyes. It’s the slow, delirious loll of his head as it cranes backward, dangling beyond the rear of the couch, red hat falling to the floor. That strong jaw fully pried, dark brows screwed together. Even the stutter of his hips beneath you, jerking haphazardly as he unapologetically stuffs you full. Thick, creamy rivulets of cum spill inside of you, the cadence of his thrusts forcing the amalgamation of arousal all over his velvety crimson pants, staining them.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He all but moans, desperately yanking you closer, slotting his lips against yours in a deep, drunken kiss. “Can I take you out?” It’s a breath between woozy kisses, curious hands trailing up the expanse of your exposed back. “I know you hate me, but I’ve changed, I am changing… for you”

You sigh. “I don't hate you, but you do have a lot of shit to work on.”

“Help me then.” It’s quiet, genuine. His dark eyes softening.

“Take me out tonight. We’ll talk about it.”

He smiles, heart swelling. “Okay.”

@fushiguho

[gghostwriter]

You’re the Risk, I’ll Take it

Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Summary: The three times Spencer followed advice and the one time he didn't (or as I'd like to better explain it, the three times Spencer fails to flirt and the one time it worked)

Warning: fluff! Just fluff!

A/n: I wanted to write something cute this time with Season 1 Spencer in mind--one of the best eras if you ask me. Hopefully I did him justice in this. The idea of this cute baby boy trying to flirt is too precious honestly. Also, if a guy did the last act for me, I'd fold like a lawn chair, yep. Risk by Gracie Abrams was on repeat while I was writing this and no proof reading was done. Let me know what you think!

Main masterlist

The first move Spencer tried was advised by Derek Morgan, the renowned ladies man

“Kid, admit it. You like her,” Morgan pestered him with a slight smile on his face. 

Spencer scoffed, trying to throw him off from the truth but monumentally failing. “S-she’s my closest friend. We joined the team at the same time, of course I feel most comfortable with her,” he noted his companion’s eyebrows raising higher and higher with each word. “Plus, she likes hearing what I say even if it has no relation to the case. She asks me questions and genuinely remembers.”

Now it was Morgan’s turn to scoff. “You could be talking about Star Trek and it’s physics mistakes and she’ll still hang on to every word you say.” 

“Actually, there aren’t that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering—”

“Reid.” 

“Right,” he nodded once, trying to push away the urge to continue further. “That still doesn’t mean I like her.” 

Morgan tapped the wheel twice before turning to face his partner. “Then answer me this. How do you feel when she walks through the office doors?” 

“Happy, I get the same feeling when I see you or Elle come in too,” he found his fingers very interesting then. Like they held the key to unlocking the mysteries of Dark Matter and the answer to the controversial scientific theory ‘Do parallel universe exist?’. He wasn’t telling the whole truth—didn’t want to because how could he, a man of science, explain the other bodily reactions he has when you walk in a room. How he hears his heart stutter in his chest with just a glimpse of you—the first time it happened, he thought nothing of it, but by the third, he considered making an appointment with a specialist for possible heart arrhythmia. How he sees the room brighten when you smile in his direction—perhaps light sensitivity, and how he feels his body heat up when you utter the words ‘Good morning, Spence.’—possibly hot flashes. Self diagnosis that he ruled out once he found you to be the common denominator. That left him with a riddle, a personal conundrum he lost countless of sleep over trying to solve.

“That’s a lie, Reid. You can’t be that happy to see me. You never blush like a tomato when I enter the room. For Greenaway, I could see it but for me, nu-uh,” he argued back. “Okay, what about when she’s not there, what do you feel then?” 

“Sad, similar to how I’d react with you and Elle,” he blurted out another half truth. Another surface level answer that doesn’t fully cover how lost he feels without your comforting presence beside him, how gloomy any room he enters in without you in it, and how incomplete his days were without hearing your voice. 

Morgan snickered. “Lies, you have to learn how to lie better to fool an FBI profiler, Reid. You don’t think I—the team, notice that you’re quieter when she isn’t on the case with us?”

“Wait. Wait, the whole team?” His voice goes up an octave. You were part of the team, did that mean you knew of the effect you had on him too? “D-Does everyone have the same idea as you do? Everyone?” 

“Not everyone, kid. Your secret is still safe,” He smiled wide like a cat that caught the canary. “So it’s true then, you like her.” 

Spencer knew there was no escape from trap, he was just glad that his secret still remained classified from the other party involved. His shoulders sagged as he nodded to confirm Morgan’s findings.

“So what’s your play then?”

His head whipped to face his companion so fast he felt his meticulously styled hair escape the confines of his ears. “Play? There’s no play. Nothing. I’m not going to do anything and this conversation stays between us.” 

“Oh c’mon lover boy, you have to do something,” Morgan challenged. “Y’know she likes you back, right?” 

“No she doesn’t! I mean, why would she?” Spencer rambled on, unable to comprehend what Morgan was saying. “She’s her—beautiful, smart, and cool. Every case we get, there’s at least one police officer hitting on her. And I’m me—I talk too much and get awkward in every situation. The exact opposite!”

“Reid, don’t sell yourself short. She likes you, trust me on this.” He paused, listening to the update on the intercom before continuing on. “So here’s what you’re going to do. Compliment her outfit, girls appreciate that. Easy enough, don’t you think?”

Spencer really didn’t think so after all he had the tendency to go off on a tangent whenever he talks to you but he agrees nonetheless. If Morgan believes he could do it then he couldn’t mess it up, right?

———

Wrong. It was wrong to take Morgan’s advice. Never mind he can recall everything he has ever read, never mind he has an IQ of 187. What good were his talents if he, Dr. Spencer Reid, couldn’t string the proper sentences along?

It started when you walked into the office wearing this light yellow blouse that made you more radiant than he thought possible. It was as if the a ray of sun had graced the bullpen and stunned his mind into silence, rendering him tongue-tied. All his monologues and hypothesis bouncing around his overactive brain fell away and the only thing he could think of was how pretty you look.

Morgan cleared his throat, bringing him back to the living. Spencer averted his awestruck gaze and busied himself with an imaginary lint on his red sweater. 

“Hey Y/N, did anything good this weekend?” Morgan asked as you settled into your desk adjacent to his.

You shrugged nonchalantly and teased back. “I bet it wasn’t good as yours, Morgan. Picked anyone up last Friday or are your charms no longer working?”

“Huh, i see where this is going. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of bed today.”

Morgan chanced a peek at Spencer and internally groaned. How you didn’t notice the kid’s crush on you was beyond him—all the staring and blushing he does when you’re near was a dead giveaway.

“Reid. Reid,” Morgan called out.

He closed his mouth and gulped. “Hm, what?” 

Morgan pointedly stared at him and titled his head towards your direction. A movement lost to you as you noted Elle leaving Gideon’s office.

Spencer opened his mouth to catch your attention but before he could even utter your name, Elle intervened. “Question for you, the foot path killer. Why’d he stutter?”

You swiveled to face her, not having caught Spencer’s intent to speak to you. The unit chief then called them in for a case—an arson case in a university campus. His shoulders drooped as they rushed to the jet afterwards with no chance of small talk. 

When there was a lull in the plane—case discussion finished, he steeled his already apprehensive nerves and took the chance, quickly wishing he hadn’t.

“S-so, your shirt’s yellow,” he stated out loud like it was some sort of revelation. 

“Yes,” you drawled out, unsure as to where he was going with this. “That’s right, Spencer.”

He drummed his fingers on the table and continued on. “Did you know that airplanes tend to avoid the color yellow as it causes dizziness and nausea? A number of studies have shown those exact results and that’s why it’s almost never used in interiors of various forms of transportation and rarely use in advertising. It’s like how the red is the most common color used by restaurants as it psychologically makes the viewer hungry.”

You looked down on your top. Yellow was one of your favorites and you specifically chose this as Penelope said and you quote, it looks good on you, brings out your eyes. Boy genius would probably react to it too so naively you splurged on it. But this—this wasn’t the response you were hoping for. “Spence, are you saying my shirt is making you feel nauseous?”

He blushed and stammered out a strong refusal. “What, no! No! I—I meant to say—you, you look nice.”

You giggled under your breath, finding his long-winded route to giving you a compliment cute. “Nice nice or airsickness nice?” 

“Nice! Just nice!” He defended on, his voice cracking at the end. He caught Morgan’s wide eyed gaze then as if he couldn’t believe what train wreck he just witnessed. 

Cheeks heating up further, Spencer slouched in his seat and busied himself with the files wishing that he could build a memory eraser so he could wipe the events from his and the team’s minds or better yet, a time machine to redo the whole thing all over again.

The second move Spencer tried was advised by Elle Greenaway, the new recruit

“Do you think it’s weird that I knew that ballad?” He questioned during one of their cases in San Diego. It bothered him since the start of the case. How Morgan had teased him about his incapability of asking out the opposite sex. Never mind that you defended him right back, that’s a lie, it made him feel special that you did but the joke was still true. A cold stone truth. 

Elle laughed, flipping her phone repeatedly on the table while waiting for the unsub to take the bait. “I don’t know how you know half the stuff you know, but I’m glad you do.”

“Do you think that’s why I can’t get a date?” He asked as he fiddled with the unfinished Rubik’s cube in his hands.

“Have you ever asked her out?”

There was no need to ask who Elle was referring to, everyone knew of his innocent—well maybe not so innocent at times specifically during his state of dreaming—crush for the second youngest member of the team. He shifted his eyes to focus a few tables before his—at you, sitting beside JJ. “No."

“That’s why you can’t get a date.” 

One of the precincts phone then rang, it was the unsub, causing him to table that conversation in his vast memory. 

———

There’s an English saying that states ‘the second time is the charm’ and Spencer was hoping there were some truth to the idiom even with no scientific explanation to back it up. 

A few cases after San Diego, he got an opening that he was unexpectedly looking for. The team was on their way back from a case in Virginia. It was late and the profilers were all tucked in their little corners of the jet decompressing while you and Spencer were huddled on the sofa quietly discussing Doctor Who. 

“How could you say your favorite is the Ninth Doctor when you haven’t even seen the older episodes?” He rambled, clearly he would have to do something about your limited knowledge in the great universe of Doctor Who. He’d like to explain it all, 695 episodes of the classic era to you. He’d take any topic really just to have your interest.

You stared into his hazel speckled eyes and smiled, amused by his reaction. “It’s a bit hard to catch up on a show that’s been around since the 70s. Plus, it’s a challenge to look for copies.” 

“Actually, the show started in the 60s—1963, to be exact,” he clarified. “Garcia has copies we could borrow and watch together. If that’s—” he cleared his throat and clenched his fists closed, feeling his nails dig into his palms. “—that’s alright with you. If—if not, there’s a convention happening this weekend. I have an extra ticket, if you want to come with—only if you’re not busy, I mean.”

“And risk you spoiling every episode to me? I’d rather watch it alone, if you don’t mind.”

That dragged his optimism to a crash as if a twenty ton weight landed on his chest, rendering him immovable. Of course you were going to say no. There was no proof that you’d reciprocate his interests—he inwardly cursed himself for believing otherwise.

“But, I’d like to go with you to the convention,” you said and silently added as your date to yourself, shifting in your seat with a blush blooming on your cheeks at the thought. “Always wanted to go to one. If you’re fine with me not being in a costume. I think it’ll be too late to find one, don’t you think?”

Just like that, the weight on his chest lifted, making him feel weightless with glee. A wide smile grew on his face, threatening to burst his cheeks as he shook his head. “That’s alright! But you—you can always dress up as Rose!”

You titled your head to the side. “Rose?” 

“You know, the Ninth Doctor’s companion?”

“I know who she is, Spence. I just thought you didn’t watch the revived series?”

He softly scoffed. “I never said that! I watched it too, mainly to compare it to the classics but I’ve seen it.”

You leaned in, wanting to ask about his opinion on it. “Well, what do you think? I happen to be part of the minority who think the actor who reprised the role did alright.”

He liked seeing you like this. It made him feel like a puppy who had his owner’s undivided attention. All wide eyed and interested in his conjectures as to why the actor was alright himself but the problems were his short stint—making people vilify him over that decision—and the material some of the writers came up with. He appreciated you nodding along and supplying your own thoughts on the subject. It warmed his heart that here was a beautiful, smart, and cool person—way out of his league, he might add—giving her precious time away to discuss a nerdy sci-fi show that he could not rant and rave to about to anyone on the team, except for Penelope, and she’s rarely on the field with them. 

Your show of interest made him feel seen. Not as an agent with 3 PHDs, not as a genius with 187 IQ, but rather as a person with a right to express himself and occupy space. He wasn’t Agent Spencer Reid with you nor Dr. Spencer Reid, he was just Spencer who likes to watch Doctor Who and read literature in their original language. 

The third move Spencer did was proposed by Penelope Garcia, the spirited tech analyst 

“What do you mean you took her to a convention? For a date?” Penelope squeaked out, unable to comprehend the logic behind the genius’ actions.

“She said she always wanted to go,” Spencer stated as the elevator stopped on the fourth floor. He had fun over the weekend. Going around booths with you, listening to invited guest panels talk about the behind the scenes, explaining the reference every costume that you’ve pointed out, and just basking in your presence beyond cases. It was a memory he had replayed over and over after it had ended. It occupied his whole mind, and that’s saying a lot, causing him to do nothing and sit in his leather sofa and smile like a lunatic during the rest of the weekend.

“Well yeah, but that’s not date material! A date is supposed to be intimate—you and I go to conventions together, do you count that as a date?” 

“What? No! No, of course not!” 

“Exactly, boy wonder. Then what makes you think she’ll count that as a date?” She countered back as she entered her office with Spencer in tow. 

Silence. Oh.

Penelope sighed, having read the despair painting his face. “Did you at least dress up as the Ninth Doctor?”

“What? No. No, I went as the Fourth Doctor. I even hand-knitted the scarf myself.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before repeating what she just heard. “You didn’t dress up as her Doctor?”

“No,” he paused, unsure where she was going with this. “Should I had?”

“Yes! Yes, you should have!” Penelope slapped his arm out of frustration. “Why didn’t you call me once she said yes? We could have talked game plan or strategy or at least have gotten you a leather jacket to match her choice of companion.”

“Oh, I messed up then, didn’t I?” He slumped despondently on the office chair. “You—you don’t think she thought of it as a date at all?”

She played with her feathered pen, trying to find a way to salvage it for Spencer. “Did you take her out to dinner after?”

He shook his head, finally realizing his mistake.

“Oh Spencer,” she approached gently. “I can scoop for details with Y/N later on and report back to you?”

He shook his head. It didn’t feel right to have Penelope betray your trust and go behind your back over a mistake that he made. You were a honest person and you deserved to be treated with respect and reverence even though all he wanted now was peer into your viewpoint of the date—not date—and figure out once and for all if you saw him as anything beyond a co-worker and a friend. 

“Hm, I think I might just a solution,” Penelope blurted out of the blue. 

He looked up with a sliver of hope blooming in his chest. Maybe third time’s the charm. Besides, Penelope was the colleague you spent most of your time out with. You once mentioned that you considered her your best friend, besides from him of course. 

“You can bake her a batch of cookies! No one can say no to that,” she excitedly explained, believing it to be full proof—except for the fact that he doesn’t know how to bake. He wants to ask you out on a date but not to the expense of burning his whole apartment building down. 

“I can’t—I can’t bake, Garcia,” he squeaked out. “Did you know that 44% of all reported home fires are caused by cooking and baking. Those fires have resulted in an average of 470 civilian deaths and 4,150 civilian—”

She interrupted. “I’ll give you my recipe and detailed instructions to follow. That’ll make it easy peasy for you, boy genius.”

“C-can’t I just buy from her favorite bakery instead?”

“No can do, Doctor. Her favorite cookies just so happen to be my creation. She told me so herself.”

“Well, can’t I just ask you to make it for me? I’ll buy the ingredients!”

“Nope,” she dragged out her refusal. “Think of it as an act of service to her. Plus don’t you think it’s highly romantic when she finds out that you baked them yourself?” She swooned just thinking about it.

“Romantic? It won’t be romantic when I burn my apartment down, Garcia.”

She sighed. “Fine, I’ll supervise if you want. This weekend, granted if we’re free. But you—” she pointed her feathered pen at him. “—better be prepared and I’m just supervising, okay? I’m not baking it myself.”

He sighed. At least having Garcia around would make it easier.

———-

It did not in fact make it easier. Spencer burnt two batches before six pieces were considered edible. Garcia couldn’t understand, hell, he also couldn’t. Baking was precise and from his scientific viewpoint, it was a lot like chemistry. He loved science and anything academic, so how is it that he failed miserably, twice, when it came to baking? 

He shook his head as he entered the office. The first one—he stole a glance at Hotch’s office and saw movement—correction, the second one arriving early. Sometimes he wondered if the unit chief ever goes home, first in and last out.

He settled in his seat before promptly fidgeting from anticipation. Statistically speaking, you arrive earlier than Morgan or Elle which gave him enough time to gift the paper bag of cookies sitting hidden in his satchel without bringing attention to and embarrassing himself. He’d like to have little to no audience if he ever does mess it up for the third time. 

He brought out the cookies, afraid they’ll get crushed between his hardbound books, and placed them on your desk before standing to wash his clammy hands and make coffee. Counter intuitive of him to do as he was already a bundle of nerves and by drinking caffeine he was doubling that but maybe the smell would calm him before shooting up his energy by drinking.

As he exited the mens room, Penelope stepped out of the elevator and squealed. “Is she here? Is she? Did I miss it?”

He shook his head vigorously, trying to silence her excited glees. “No, she’s not here yet. She’ll—” he looked at his watch and ran the numbers. “—be here soon. I’m about to brew coffee. Do you want some?” He opened the door for both of them to enter the bullpen.

“Ick, no thanks,” Penelope said, scrunching her nose at the thought of drinking even a sip before scurrying away to her cave. “I’d rather not ruin my taste buds on bad coffee.”

He laughed and turned towards the kitchenette. With the coffee brewing, he drummed his fingers on the counter and mentally rehearsed what he would say to you. If he practiced, there’s less chance of messing it up like the first time, right? In his state of concentration, he missed you entering the office in all of your beautiful glory.

“Ooh cookies!” you exclaimed as you opened the unknown package on your table.

Spencer abruptly turned, hitting his side on the corners as he did. His eyes widened as he registered you holding the unsigned paper bag of treats on your desk. 

“They must be from Penny,” You continued on, oblivious to his presence and the devastation your remark caused him. Of course, he’d find another way to mess it up. You glanced around and your smile widened as you took in his handsome presence. “Oh hey Spence! Look, Penny made me cookies!” You tip-toed out of excitement. 

He smiled at your enthusiasm for something as simple as treats in the morning. The giggle you gave out as you entered the kitchenette was enough for him to slightly care less for the truth. He loved bringing out the happiness in you. It was like his own personal sunshine shining down on him, soaking him with vitamin D and boosting his overall sense of wellbeing. “Do you want coffee with that? It’s still hot,” he offered. 

You tapped the side of your hips with his as a sign of good will. “Thanks, Spence! This is turning out to be a great day, don’t you think?”

He watched as you busied yourself with putting cream and sugar in your of cup and sighed wistfully. “I think so too.”

And the last move Spencer did was recommended by no one but himself, the awkward 187 genius

With all three acts not delivering, he promised to try one last time without any outside interference besides from yours in his memory. You always did tell him to be himself in any situation, no matter how much he stumbled through any awkward situation—always there giving him a pat on the back for encouragement. 

Over the weekend, he spent his time reading two of your favorite books—which didn’t take much but he did read them again and again, regardless of his eidetic memory, trying to understand why these specific books were your comfort. Always pushed within the confines of your go bag, dog-eared and brown from age. He wanted to know how they’ve become an extension of you and how it had shaped you to the woman he has fallen in love with. 

He found himself hunched over his dining table, underlining sentences that made him think of you, scribbling away on the margins (and sometimes on post its too), and tabbing the written pages with a variety of colors that each represent an emotion. The act in it of itself made him feel closer to you than he thought possible. Lines in the books that made him think, ah so this was what formed your kind spirit. This is why your empathy knew no bounds. And this is why your beauty is inside and out.  

Spencer laid down to rest, anxious for the next day, Monday, to come. His heart threatening to beat out of his chest but his mind oddly calm as if it had a precognition that everything would turn out just right.

———

You arrived earlier than he did, throwing him off balance. 

“Hey Spence!” You greeted with a smile. “I got you a croissant and some coffee from that shop near my place.”

He blushed and stammered out a thank you. You were wearing a deep purple blouse that matched the scarf around his neck—the birthday gift you’ve given. He was no believer of the mystics but he took all of these as a sign from the stars. There was no way he would mess this up now.

“I—I got you something too,” he looked inside his satchel, hands shaking from it all. Gods, he wished this would go well or else, he might just die from embarrassment. “It’s nothing much but—I read your two favorite books and just—I wanted to discuss it with you,” he brought out the tabbed copies and presented them to you. “These are for you. I know you have copies of your own but I-I put my own notes on which lines reminded me of you.”

Your face turned red at the notion behind it all. Here was the BAU genius, the certified lover of the classics and the academia, the man who had your affections since day one, reading two contemporary literatures just for him to present you a gift like no other. You reached out and hugged the precious copies to your chest. 

“Thank you, no one’s ever done this for me before,” you breathed out, falling deeper into attraction with the perfection in front of you. “ Hey Spence, I may sound delusional asking this and you can say no if you want to but—” you visibly gulped, unaware of the audience nearby. “—would you like to have dinner with me? I make a mean lasagna.”

He turned red and vigorously nodded. “Y-Yes. Yes, I’d love to have dinner with you.”

You giggled, sounding like wind chimes to his ears. He did too, giggle I mean, from the triumph of finally knowing that his feelings were willingly reciprocated.

“Finally, you love birds!” Morgan shouted as he swung his arm around Spencer. “Didn’t know how much we could take from this pretty boy—” pointing at him “asking for advice and you—” pointing at you “—pretty girl is as dense as a rock. Tell me again how’d you end up as profiler with those observation skills.” 

A hand whacked him at the back. “Way to ruin the moment, Morgan.” Elle chided before turning to Spencer with a smile. “See told you, you could get a date.”