#okay gonna stop typing as my handies hurt now

[gingersnaptaff]

Shwmae pawb! (That's 'hi everyone!' in Welsh. :3)

So, GIANTS. Giants are stock characters in both Arthurian AND Celtic legends. Wales has many giants and almost all of them are absolute BASTARDS. Fun. Also, some are connected to mountains. Also fun!

Anyways, I thought I'd do a quick lil thing about them cuz honest we have so many you can - and somebody probably will - do a book about them.

So, just a quick thing about Welsh. 'Fawr,' which is an appellation means 'the Great. It can also mean big. It's why when people swear in Welsh and say 'Iesu Fawr' what they're saying is, "BIG JESUS!"

Two diddy things:

I enjoy the fact that 'Giant' is doing double duty. Can be bastard, can be nice. Spin the cauldron and see which u get.

Now, I was gonna do your biggies like Arthur, Gwenhwyfar, Cai, Gwalchmai, Uthyr, etc, etc. But, honestly, you probably know that they were, at one point or another, seen to be giants in Welsh mythology. (And Arthur was probably on the Bastard side more than good if you believe Gildas. But he is biased cuz Arthur killed his brother so 🤷🏻‍♀️)

So, a lot of the giants are connected to places like Cader Idris - who is probably the most famous giant lad after Bendigeidfran - or Y Cath Palug who prowled around Môn (modern-day Anglesey.)

I kinda debated on whether or not to cover Ysbaddaden Pencawr but I decided to because he is probably a giant you've all heard of and weaves into the 'giants associated with places' because his fort is supposed to be in their Preseli Hills which are in western Wales, mainly in the Pembrokeshire Coast Path. They also have really pretty bluestone and slate too!

Now, you all know the story in Culhwch and Olwen but I just kinda like the fact that Ysbaddaden means 'Hawthorn,' because it supposedly symbolised love and protection in Celtic mythology which, if u think about it, Ysbaddaden kinda loves Olwen in his own way. (I mean he'll die if she marries but, y'know. Doesn't mean he doesn't love her.)

Next up, IDRIS GAWR.

Yes, he of chair fame. If you go up it then supposedly you'll either come back down mad or a poet. I would seriously pray to become a poet. The walk down would make me mad enough. It's STEEP!

Now, before Arthur killed him and buried him up there, he was a king - who may have been a real-life dude. UNCLEAR! - and it was said that he could sit on the mountain and survey his whole kingdom which is COOL AS FUCK. Apparently, his motley band of giants: Yscydion, Ophrom, and Ysbryn also have mountains named after them in the vicinity of Cader Idris.

Next: Rhitta Gawr.

I distinctly remember him being one of my first brush-ins with Welsh Arthurian legends cuz I read about him on the back of a leaflet about Yr Wyddfa (Snowdon). If I recall, the detail that got me the most was the fact that Arthur supposedly defeated him by tricking him and pretending to eat a large amount of food but secretly depositing it into a sack and when Rhitta Gawr asked Arthur told him that he'd 'cut a hole in his stomach.' Rhitta, trusting this dude, who he LITERALLY WANTED TO FUCKIN KILL EARLIER, chopped a hole in his stomach and promptly died. 👌🏻👏🏻 Da iawn Rhitta. Now, also, I want to say that one of the various spellings of his name, 'Ricca' also pops up in 'Culhwch and Olwen' as Arthur's half-brother, the King of Cornwall. Idk if they are supposed to be the same person or not but, like, Arthur was a giant. It's possible.

Now, onto some little lads.

You'll notice that most of these lads were slain by Gwalchmai. I fear he was That Lad. For the Gawain Girlies, how does it feel to have Wales' best Giant fighter for your character?

(Also, NO LAUGHING AT PYSCOC. IT'S PRONOUNCED PEE-SCOC. Don't say, as my friend did, 'Castell Cock' when you mean Castell Coch. I will murder.)

Now, for the Cath Palug, tumblr with NOT let me add an image (boo!) So, I will write it up for you and then YAP.

'Palug (legendary)

Cath Palug is mentioned in a triad (YTP n. 26) where we are told that sow, Hen Wen (white head), while being followed by the magician Coll ap Collfrewy, brought forth a kitten at Maen Du in Llanfair in Arfon. Coll threw the kitten into the Menai (pls don't. The Swellies, man. THE SWELLIES.) and she was afterwards Cath Palug. Another version, (26 W) adds that the sons of Palug fostered it to their own harm. And that was Cath Palug and it was one of 'The Three Great Oppressions' nurtured therein.

The latter version treats Palug as a personal name but it's been also suggested that it could mean 'Scratching Cat.' (Very apt if u ask me.)

The only other mention of it is in 'Who is the Porter?' in the Black Book of Carmarthen:

'Cai the Fair went to Môn

To destroy hosts [or lions]

His shield was a fragment

Against Cath Palug

Nine score fierce [warriors]

Would fall as her food.'

The poem breaks off at this point but it's assumed Cai was the slayer.'

And then in Arthurian Legend: 'in the Vulgate either Arthur slayed the cat or was slayed by it. The Welsh version, which says Cai was the slayer, was also known to John Fordun who, in his Scotichromincon writes: 'But we have heard old hags tell some such fable - that it so happened that one of Arthur's soldiers - Kayus - had to fight an enormous tom-cat; which, seeing the soldier prepared to fight obstinately, climbed to the top of a great rock, and coming down, after having made its claws wondrous sharp for the fight, it gashed the rock with sundry clefts and winding paths beyond belief. Kayus, however, they say killed the cat.'

It's interesting that in the different versions of the triads the reason how Y Palug got her name is different. I'd argue that, perhaps, the Scratching Cat is the more likely reason for the name, as it has the common root 'pal' which might mean cut, lop, scratch claw, or dig pierce. It also shares the same root as palu (dig) and paladr (spear shaft.)

Also, the fragmentary poem says that Cai's shield is 'mynud' against the cat which can plausibly mean polished or mirrored. So he's a bit like Perseus against Medusa! Also, Cai as a giant is probably the perfect combative against a giant cat considering his powers. Like, I would NOT wish to fuck with Cai or Cath.

Anyways, that it for today! Hope u all enjoyed!! Also, I do absolutely think that Gwalchmai was justified in killing all those giants. He needed enrichment. The Giants probs pissed him or Gwenhwyfar off. I think she probably even helped him with some cuz I would.

Hwyl fawr!

(Also, if u have any suggestions as to what u wanna read about next lmk! Marriage laws will be up this Sunday!).

[rioshio]

i’m ranting about the shit that happened in ptu (pokemon table top)here because AAAAAA the people i would rant to are playing so i can’t say anything

so first kyoto is my character

i’m just gonna copy and paste what i sent to my dm

also i’m to lazy to correct it all but i meant to put team rocket not rocket league i..words no work

-

the first half of kyotos childhood was just being trapped within rocket league along with his brother (was kinda forced into it? like a “okay here you go your doing this now” type of thing)

kyoto was specifically kept for his visions and talent with pokemon which he eventually lost over time due to his brother keeping him from being able to train with any (mostly to protect him from getting deeper into team rocket )

eventually team rocket assigned the two a more rare egg the galrian ponyta egg around this time kyoto had been questioning his own morals along where he stood. a bit before it hatched little koyto had decided he was going to leave with the egg. his brother caught him leaving with it and demanded it be returned and that he go back to resting, upon refusing his brother took out his shinx and a small battle between the two began..or a shinx attacking him and him failing horribly at dodging while trying to keep the egg safe, kyoto eventually jumped for the exit adrenaline keeping him from feeling the max of his pain-his face torn open from taking a hit

he ran into the forest until he couldn’t run he heard his brothers yell as he fell to his knees laying the egg down as it slowly hatched a small galarian ponyta looked at the boy with concern as he fell his vision suddenly becoming blurry before seeing the blobs of a few people and a pokemon who were running up to the two they spoke a few words to him trying to comfort him as they picked him and ponyta up he attempted to escape but had little strength left passing out rather quickly

the next thing the boy woke up to was his face covered in bandages and in a room, it wasn’t to bare it had a few stuffed animals and light red walls the boy immediately tried to get up concerned for the ponyta he ran out to be stopped by a rather tall man who promised everything was okay and that he was safe from whatever situation he had been in.

this was a start to his new life, a safer life.

overtime after being able to recount what had happened he had gained a fear of abusing pokemon the phrase “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” being his new biggest fear

when his new caretakers found out they suggested he train ponyta they were a strong pokemon and the actual chances were low. he refused at first but after some time said yes naming it mothine and beginning to care for it along learning all about pokemon for the next several years still staying hesitant and away from most pokemon

eventually his caretakers recommended traveling to another region his experience could come more in handy and could learn ways to interact with little or weaker pokemon without fear, on this he decided to follow their thoughts and left with some necessary items in his backpack onto a boat to the biggest region. if your gonna take on something might as well go big right?

-

(for context the main region that the campaigns in is a custom one)

ANYWAY SO kyo met a Larvitar on a ship that played with him for awhile and then the Larvitar revealed that it was a ghost that was killed BY HIS FATHER and was brought back to life

this is the notes i wrote on the thing because it was through a trance (i apologize for the mistakes this is was meant for only me so i didn’t bother on making it completely perfect

-

seeing through its eyes and learn through its memories it had been seriously hurt a human tall looking down black hair green eyes a scar across their nose “your pathetic im done with”

it gets kicked into the water and begins drowning unable to move due to the dmg done

it drifts hitting the bottom water the last thing it sees the last thing it sees is a little red pearl rolling towards the Larvitar

-

HOLY SHIT

so first i mentioned before to my dm/gm that his father kind of just kicked him to the curb AND THEM GETTING THROWN INTO THE WATER ALONG

ALONG WITH THEM BEING SEEN AS WEAKER WITH KYOS FEAR OF HURTING A SMALL OR WEAK POKEMON TOO MUVH JUSDTT AAAAAAAAAAAA

would like to mention this was my first 1 on 1 for ptu and also my first ‘session’ type of thing with the entire campaign i didn’t know they were gonna attack kyo this early 😭😭😭

[devildomditzy]

I hope you're okay from the crash! In honor of it, a request; The brothers are doting on/concerned for/worried for MC after they accidentally crashed their car (They're being nice to MC, and aren't being rude about the damages, they're just happy that MC's okay and safe)

ANON THIS MADE ME CACKLE

I am all okay, but my car is not LMAO

you got it bestie 😎

With an MC who gets into a Car Accident

Obvious TW for mentions of a car accident

Lucifer

He rarely drives, only when it’s necessary, but he did teach the rest of them to drive

He wouldn’t let Mammon teach the others cause he didn’t want him to “corrupt” them (but really he didn’t want Mammon to feel responsible if they were in a dangerous situation 🥺)

So he’s glad you’re okay, but in a smug I told you so you didn’t need to be driving way

But really MC, you gave him a heart attack

Will secretly pay for a new car/ the repairs for you

Mammon

You call him and let him know you were in an accident and you’re surprised with the speed in which he goes quiet on the other end and arrives next to you, shifting out of his demon form cause Diavolo forbid you were hurt again and he wasn’t there to save you

After he’s done having his freak out, having to be brought down with you insisting that you’re fine, you know this boy is gonna make fun of you

He’s one of the best drivers in the Devildom dammit, so he’s leaning over your bent hood asking if you need him to reteach you the ropes

Sorry, you’re not ever touching one of his cars again after this, they’re almost as precious to him as you

Levi

I head-cannon Levi is scared of cars. This is entirely Mammon’s fault.

So he’s terrified for you

In his confusion and anxiety he almost releases Lotan at the scene of the accident

He’s more stressed about it than you AND the person you hit

As soon as he sees you all in one piece, he throws his arms around you, swearing you’ll both walk everywhere from now on

Asmo

“Aw it’s okay MC, I can’t drive either” :)

Bitch????

Lucifer trying to teach Asmo how to drive but it’s the scene where Mr. Mosby is trying to teach London how to drive

Asks specifically if you tried to use the PRNDL

“Asmo that’s not how that works”

He’s glad you’re okay, cars are too much fuss. When you’re with him, you guys will always have a personal driver

Satan

Got his license taken away for too much road rage

You know, the whole wrath thing?

So even if it’s your fault, he’s already in demon form, intimidating the other driver to leave his precious MC alone

In his eyes, it could never be your fault 🤧

Teases you by leaving driving manuals outside your door for the next few weeks

Beel

Poor sweetheart is so scared, he doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost you

If the car has a dent he will literally pop in back into place with just his barehands

He’s actually pretty handy, so most minor damage he could probably fix for you himself

He gets invested looking into all different types of cars and features to find you the safest vehicle/ updates to your car he can

baby 🥺

Belphie

Will beat the other driver within an inch of their life if you don’t stop his ass

Even if you’re at fault, even if the other driver is bigger than him.

Boy’s scrappy 🤺

He’s overprotective too, so say goodbye to your wheels

He will always volunteer to take you anywhere, or pay for a ride. He doesn’t want to take any chances. He almost lost you once, it wont happen again.

[jiminrings]

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

:O

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

[backtobackbakubabe]

Speak Easy Part 3

Bakugo x Reader

Words: 4892

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together?

Words with 'this' is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

***********************************************************************

Dabi had laid you down gently in the back seat of his car, taking off his jacket to lay over you. You wanted to fall asleep you really did. But the consistent pain coming from your hip was enough to keep you awake, but not enough for you to pass out. You hugged the jacket around you that smelled like smoke and coffee.

You don’t know much time passed but eventually you were being pulled from the backseat. He picked you up bridal style and made his way to the house, “Look at you. We’re not even married, and you already have me carrying you over the threshold.”

When you didn’t react to his little joke he sighed, “Wow tough crowd, okay.”

He walked straight to the couch and put you down before immediately jogging to the kitchen to grab some first aid supplies… amongst other things.

He came back and sat on the table that was in front on the couch and maneuvered you so your injured hip was accessible to him. “Okay this is going to sting for a little bit, but I’m going to need you to stay still until I’m done.” Without any more warning then that he poured what smelled like vodka on the wound.

It stung like a bitch, causing you to dig your nails into the cushion of the couch and grit your teeth so hard you were surprised they didn’t crack.

He started to wipe it down with some kind of cloth. Cleaning all the dried blood and sweat from you. You were practically panting now trying to breathe through the sharp pain. “That’s it. Keep breathing. Good girl. I’m almost done.” He taped a bandage over it before pulling your hoodie back down. “There. Good as new.”

He helped you sit up a little so he could give you a glass of water, which you were incredibly thankful for. “Alright… so I have all the good stuff. Anything you could want really.” He pulled out several bottles of pills.

You didn’t know what was in those bottles, but you knew you didn’t want any. You’ve had enough drugged out days to last a lifetime. So as much as you knew it’d help with the pain, you didn’t want it. You just met Dabi less than twelve hours ago. You didn’t know what kind of bullshit he’d pull once you went under.

You shook your head no and pointed to the bottle of vodka. You may not want pills, but a shot wouldn’t kill you.

He chuckled, “Okay tough guy. Whatever you say.” He walked back to the kitchen and returned with two of the biggest shot glasses you had ever seen. “Let’s get this party started huh?” He poured two shots and handed one to you. “To life off the grid.”

You both threw your shots back. He with no reaction, you however immediately started coughing.

His hand rubbed a circle on your back, “Look at you. Took it like a champ. Didn’t even need a chaser.” He poured another shot for himself and brought it up to his lips but stopped when he saw you looking at him. “What? You didn’t think I’d give you more than one, did you? Oh no, no, no. With how tiny you are? Not to mention your tolerance has probably gone to shit. I think one is plenty for now.”

Well jokes on him. Just because you seem weak doesn’t mean you are. He’s not going to tell you how much you can and can’t drink. You scooted to the edge of the couch, wincing a little as you did. You scooped up the bottle of vodka and took a swig straight from the bottle.

You saw something flash behind his eyes, but he immediately hid it behind a playful smirk, “I don’t know if you’re a badass or a brat. Only time will tell. But I’ll have you know that in my house… My word is law. I’m just trying to help you after all.” He tore the bottle from your hands before securing the lid, giving it an extra hard squeeze to keep you from opening it again. “But because this is your first night here, and you’re hurt, and I really am a nice guy. I’ll let it slide this once…. So? You still want some ice cream?”

You nodded as you reached for your notebook but was alarmed when you couldn’t find it. You could already feel the light feeling of a buzz taking over, but you refused to let Dabi know he was right about your tolerance.

“What’s up? What are you looking for?” You made a gesture with your hands as if you were writing something down. “Ah, right. The handy dandy notebook. It’s probably in the car. I’ll go grab it.” He took a few steps away before coming back to grab the bottle of vodka, mumbling something about how he refuses to clean up your puke.

You took this time while he was away to get a better look at the place. It was very minimalistic. Lots of greys, whites, and blacks. The couch felt just as expensive as the giant tv on the wall looked. From what you could see of the kitchen, it looked nice. The shiny appliances were either kept impeccably clean, or never used. Was this his house? It hardly looked lived in.

“Alright got the notebook. How about you pick something to watch while I scoop some ice cream. What do you want? One for Vanilla, two for chocolate, three for cookies and cream.”

You held up three fingers. You were amazed at how well he was adjusting to communicating with you already. He had just accepted that you weren’t talking and went with it.

“Cookies and cream huh? I thought you’d be more of a fan of vanilla.” He chuckled. “The remot is on the side table next to you. The TV is rigged so you can basically watch whatever you want. Just type it into the search bar.”

You picked up the remote and quickly started scanning through channels. Your finger accidentally brushed the microphone button and you froze at the loud beeping noise that signaled it was listening.

Dabi had made his way over with two bowls both with cookies and cream. He saw the face you made at the remote before taking it from you and replacing it with a bowl of ice cream. “Hey none of that pouty shit. It’s not cute. This is temporary, you’ll be talking again in no time.”

He looked at the screen, “Okay one for anime, two for live action.” You held up one finger. “Okay, One for thriller, two for action, three for comedy. Four for romance.” You held up two fingers. “Oh, thank god I really thought you were going to pick romance. Okay I’m going to scroll through them, just tap my shoulder when you want me to stop.”

He scrolled for a while before you stopped him at Naruto. “Ah a classic. Good pick. Now get comfy. I have a feeling you’re gonna pass out before the first episode is even over.”

Sure enough, soon after finishing your bowl of ice cream you felt your eye lids drooping. A part of you was still nervous to fall asleep. But seeing as you just had a wild 24 hours… there was no way in hell you were fighting sleep for long.

“You ready for bed yet?” You sleepily nodded your head and started to slide down so you could lay down on the couch. “Oh no you don’t.” He scooped you up and headed down a hallway. He entered a rather large room with a bathroom attached and tossed you onto the bed causing the wound in your hip to throb. “Okay welcome to you room, this your bed, that is your bathroom. I will be right across the hall. I’d say yell if you need something but… well you know. So… try to not need me. Have a good night.”

You grabbed his wrist before he could get far, “What don’t tell me you’re like afraid of the dark or something.” He turned around to see your blushing face as you pointed to the bathroom and then to yourself. “Ooooooh, okay. Right. So, is this like a you need to pee situation? Or did you like… want to shower? Not that I’m against helping you take a shower…” He smirked at you.

You rolled your eyes and held up one finger. “Okay, okay, but you will eventually have to shower. But I guess we can figure that out tomorrow.” There was a wicked gleam in his eye that could only be compared to a child who was plotting on how to steal a cookie from the cookie jar.

He had been pretty patient while waiting for you to finish going to the bathroom, but he was still just as rough as he tossed you back onto the bed. “Alright, so, to reiterate, I’m right across the hall. Try to not need me. Good night.”

You sank into the bed the second the door closed behind him. You were alone. You were free and you were alone. Twenty-four hours ago, you had been strapped to a bed with shock collar on. You curled into a ball and cried. You wanted this to be the last time you felt sorry for yourself, so you wanted to get it all out now. Tomorrow was the first day of your new life and you didn’t plan on wasting a single second of it.

It didn’t take long for you to cry yourself to sleep considering how exhausted you were. What would have surprised you however was the fact that Dabi was sitting just outside the door listening to you muffled sobs, clenching his fists in rage.

It wasn’t until he heard you screaming that he realized he had fallen asleep there. On his feet in seconds he ran into your room. What he saw shook him a little bit. You had kicked all of the blankets off the bed. Soaked in sweat and tears. Your body was jerking around so hard it looked painful. You were having a nightmare, likely due to PTSD.

Shit what did he do? He’s no stranger to bad dreams, but he also knows he could make it worse if he doesn’t do this right. “Hey y/n. Y/N! I need you to wake up honey. It’s just a dream. You’re safe. Y/n. Y/N! Come on now follow my voice. Wake up for me yeah? You’re okay, I promise.” He reached out and as lightly as he possibly could touched your cheek.

You were burning up. He cursed as he tried to peel your soaked hoodie off of you. He started to shake your shoulder a little harder. But all that did was make you panic and thrash around. So he grabbed you and held you to him. “God Damnit Y/n. Wake up!”

He felt the tension leave your body only for a moment before you started to try and push him off of you.

He immediately dropped his arms and pushed away from you. “Hey you’re okay. It’s just me. Remember your hero pals saved you yesterday and now we’re roomies.” He could see the confusion in your eyes start to fade as you woke up. “Believe me I understand. I’d be scared too if I woke up in a weird place with my ugly mug lookin at you.”

He reached for your journal and tried to hand it to you. “You want to talk about it?”

You shook your head and hugged your knees to your chest. He nodded and put the journal back on the nightstand. “That’s okay. You don’t have to…” He wasn’t very good at this part. Talking about emotions and shit. “Yeah so uh… I can get you a different shirt.” He could see the goosebumps already raising on your arms. Now that the panic and adrenaline had subsided you were damp and cold. “And I can get a warm bath going if you want? He looked at the clock. It’s 5:30, which in ungodly early for me, but if you’re up I guess we can go ahead and start the day… How does that sound?”

You refused to look him in the eye and settled for a shrug of your shoulders, letting your knees drop from your chest. He could see straight through your tank top and was pleasantly surprised to find that under that baggie hoodie you had some nice tits.

He liked his lips and lucky for him, you were too busy avoiding eye contact that you didn’t even notice. “Alright well I tried being nice in giving you an option so now I’m telling you. You’re taking a bath.” He picked you up and walked towards the bathroom. “I’ll get the water going. Do you think you can manage making it from the toilet to the tub without me?”

Again, you shrugged which was quickly becoming one of his biggest pet peeves. He groaned, “One for yes, two for no. No more fucking shrugging.”

You nodded and held up one finger. “Alright, that wasn’t that hard was it?”

Without waiting for an answer he knew he wasn’t going to get he started the water and left you to it.

He went out to the car to grab the backpack the mini might kid had packed for you. Then into his room to grab you a clean shirt. He was going to leave the items outside the bathroom door until he heard a thump followed by a groan.

“Y/n? Did you fall down?” A very long pause later and you hit the side of the tub once. “Okay do you need help getting up?” Another long pause before you hit the side twice. “Are you sure?” He desperately wanted you to say no. Not to sound like a perv, but he’d love to get a quick peek at you.

Two hits on the tub sounded. “Okay, I’m coming in.” He opened the door almost too quickly. There you were sitting on the floor, back against the tub, completely naked. He had expected you to try and hide yourself from view, but was shocked when you practically reached for him, baring your entire chest for him to drink in.

He stopped for a moment before picking you up. “I’m not going to pick you up like I usually do. Instead I’m going to help you stand, and hold you while you try to get in yourself. We gotta start working on those legs.” You looked nervous but nodded anyways.

He hooked his hands under your armpits and pulled against him in standing position. His pinkies barley brushing the outside of your breasts and even that little bit drove him crazy. But he contained himself. The last thing he needed was you randomly activating your quirk and figuring out what a horn dog he is.

You weakly attempted to raise your right leg high enough to get into the tub. You were almost there, you almost had it. “That’s it, you’re doing so well. Just a little more, come on you can do it.” Whether you knew it or not, your ass was pushing back into Dabi’s crotch and he wasn’t going to make it much longer. So he lifted you a little higher making it easier for you to step in. “OKAY, I think one leg is good enough progress for now.” He sat the rest of you in gently before quickly turning away calling over his shoulder, “Alright, I’ll be back in… ten minutes to help you back out.”

You waited until he was gone to let a small giggle out. It honestly took you by surprise. It was the first time you had made a noise that wasn’t out of pain in a while. But just remembering the blush of his cheeks when you reached for him was enough to have you smile to yourself.

Before all of this happened to you were no stranger to being naked. In fact, you loved it. Maybe it was some weird side effect of your quirk. But you loved being naked, being intimate, having sex. To you there was no better bliss. You craved it. Your quirk allowed you all the control you could ever want, but there was something so intoxicating about giving that control over completely to someone else. To be praised, to be worshipped, to be adored.

Well at least that was the way you were before. Before you weren’t allowed to touch anyone, or look at them, or… speak to them. What if you were different now? What if being controlled for so long, being forced to do things against your will… what if it changed you?

The thought made you sad. You briefly considered testing the waters with Dabi, but quickly shook that from your head. And it wasn’t even the fact he was a villain, as much as you hate to admit it, you’d slept with villains before. But could you even consider him a villain anymore. You could see what Todoroki had meant by saying he was neither hero nor villain.

No, the biggest reason you needed to keep your hands off Dabi is because he was nice enough to take you in. You don’t need to jeopardize your safety just to curb your cravings.

You quickly scrubbed your body clean and did your best to wash your hair, but it was a nightmare. Your hair was crazy long now and the knots and tangles were just impossible to get through. You wined in frustration as your fingers yet again got stuck.

“You know I could always shave your head, I’m sure you could pull it off.” You stuck your tongue out at him as he handed you a brush. “Better watch who you’re sticking that tongue out at.” He hesitated, “Arms up, time to get out.”

You felt like a child, but you obeyed without protest. Earning you a “good girl” that sent shivers down your spine. “Hm? Do you like it when I praise you?”

You shrugged and avoided eye contact and you could feel the growl rip through is chest. “What did I say about fucking shrugging?”

You bit your lip and pulled yourself closer to him so he couldn’t see your blushing face.

Like a sack of potatoes, you were tossed onto to the bed. He tossed you a pair of clean underwear and one of his shirts that would easily come down to your knees. Once you were dressed, he roughly pulled you to the edge of the bed and sat between your legs.

Your heart rate spiked, and you let out an excited gasp. His hand smoothed up your thigh, “Relax, I’m just putting a new bandage on your hip. Don’t get so excited.” He examined the shallow wound and you winced. It took everything in him not to place a kiss right over your wound. He’d made that mark on you. It would definitely scar and as twisted as it sounded… he liked that.

He started to tape the new bandage down. One of his hands rubbed the inside of your thigh, while the other made sure the bandage was secure. God he just wanted to bite into the soft flesh in front of him. He took a deep breath to steady himself, but he was absolutely not prepared for… was you winding your fingers through his white locks.

“Y/n… what?” Your fingers tightened causing him to groan and let lose. He started to kiss the meaty part of your thigh, biting ever few kisses drawing sweet sounds from your lips that made him wonder what your voice sounded like. He made his way up to your hip and kissed right above the bandage before licking up from you belly button and up your sternum, pushing your shirt… well his shirt up as he went. He grabbed one of your tits in one hand while he sucked on the other nipple. Your hips bucked up as his hand traveled south. As soon as his hand started to sneak past your underwear something in you snapped.

You couldn’t do this. Not now. Something wasn’t right. You felt trapped under his body weight, you couldn’t breathe. Too much, you weren’t ready.

You pushed at his hand and whined until finally he got the message. He stopped and looked at your confused eyes, “Shit… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I-I guess I misread that one.” He pulled your shirt back down and knelt in front on you on the bed. “I guess we should set some rules huh?”

Rules… rules… follow the rules.

You yanked your gaze down to stare at your hands that you had folded in your lap. Don’t look, don’t talk, don’t touch.

He reached for one of your hands, but you yanked it back shaking your head. “Hey look at me.” You continued to stare into your lap. He swore under his breath, “Please… look at me. I need to know what I did or said that freaked you out so bad. This is what I mean when I said we need rules-“ You flinched. “Oh is the word rules?”

You started to shrug before you remembered he wouldn’t like that. You lifted a shaky hand and picked up your journal and handed it to him open to the first page. You snuck a glance at his expression as he read over them. His face was expressionless as he read over your list of rules. “Hm… sounds kinky.”

He looked around for something to write with before coming to sit next to you, making sure to give you plenty of space. “Okay so how about instead we have laws?” You gave a quick shrug before nodding in agreement. He narrowed his eyes at you, “And law number one. No fucking shrugging.”

He handed the pen to you, “You’re turn. Write something down.” You gave him a questioning look, “Don’t worry about it, if I don’t like it, I’ll just draw a line through it. We’re brainstorming here.”

You wrote down “No drugs.” You heard him groan but he nodded anyways.

“Okay fine but then you have to make eye contact when talking to me. Doesn’t matter if it’s verbal or not.”

You went on like that for a while until you had a new set of “laws”

You had agreed to workouts in the pool to get your strength back up and he agreed to try and learn sign language with you.

The last law he added however was “I will not initiate the sexy time without written or verbal consent.”

You rolled your eyes and went to push him away but he dodged you easily enough. He quickly stood up throwing you over his shoulder. “Alright enough of that. We have a long day ahead of us.”

You helped him make breakfast while he explained that this house was one of many that he owned under different aliases. This one was the most secluded and had the best security system.

You were still picking at your pancakes when he sat next to you at the kitchen island bringing a laptop with him. “I’m not helping you down from here until you eat every last bite. Law number 7- Eat three full meals a day. Need to put some meet on those bones.”

He pulled up a website that had a video queued up that said introduction to sign language. “Okay before we get going 1 for tea, 2 for coffee.”

Your eyes lit up as you held up 2 fingers and scurried to grab your journal. ‘Can you put some milk in it?’ It had been so long since you had coffee and the thought had you bouncing with excitement.

He read it and gave you a thumbs up. “Go ahead and start the video, I’m just over here.”

And that’s how you set into your routine. Every day you’d sleep in until you decided to get up. Eat a big breakfast. Work on sign language. Eat Lunch. Do some kind of workout in the pool. Relax and watch TV. Eat dinner. Take a bath. Go to bed.

You did this every day for the past two weeks and you could already tell a difference. You and Dabi had learned a few basics in sign. Only a few words, but it was a start. But Dabi’s favorite part was helping you walk.

Not that he didn’t like carrying you, but this was just as much fun. He’d hold you under the armpits from behind and he’d let you stand on his feet like a child. You still couldn’t walk on your own, but you were so close. Every day you felt stronger and you knew it was only a matter of time.

Today marks sixteen days that you had been here. You watched as Dabi cleaned up the rest of breakfast. You frowned as you thought about how much he did for you and how little you gave in return. You hadn’t noticed him walk over to you until his hand was lifting your chin to look at him. “Pool time?”

You nodded and signed back ~Pool time~. You reached your arms up to be picked up and he easily complied, no worse than a trained dog.

“You’ve gained weight. I can tell.”

You looked horrified as you slapped his shoulder. ~rude~

He chuckled, “Hey don’t get all huffy about it. It’s a good thing. You were way too skinny before. You looked like a strong breeze would blow you over and break all of your bones.” He stopped at the edge of the pool giving you a wicked look. “Now you’re starting to look healthy again. Healthy enough for me to do this and not feel bad about it.”

He tossed you into the pool, clothes and all. You sputtered to the surface but didn’t have to struggle long before he was behind you leading you to the shallow end. “You’re fine. Almost there, don’t be so dramatic.”

He led you to the wall you usually hold on to for your exercises and let you go. You growled as you flipped him off. Idiot doesn’t need to know sign language to understand that one.

You pulled your wet shirt off and tossed it over to one of the lounge chairs. Leaving you in just a bra and underwear, which is how you normally did these exercises. Dabi had requested the heroes send a bathing suit in the next care package, but it hadn’t arrived yet.

He reached around your middle section and pulled you away from the wall after you had done a couple sets of squats and leg kicks. “Okay now lets see how you do without the wall.” He turned you around to face him and slowly backed away only holding your elbows now. “Okay now lets take a lap around the shallow end shall we?”

At first your steps were more like tiny shuffles. “It’s gonna take us all damn day if you don’t start taking bigger steps. Come on you can do it. Pick those feet up!”

You gave him a harsh glare. He knew you couldn’t fight back right now because your hands were too busy gripping his arms for support.

You started taking larger steps and then larger ones and then eventually you had made it almost all the way around. Dabi stepped back and completely. “Okay just a few more steps. I think you can do them on you own. Come on baby girl. Just a few steps. You can do it.”

You nodded enthusiastically, of course you could. It was just a few steps. You could do this. You reached your hands out to the side and took your first step by yourself. Your eyes lit up at the feeling. Sure, it was only in the pool, but that was progress! “That’s it! Good girl, keep going!” You reached for him as you took another step, followed by another and another and then suddenly he was picking you up. “Hell yeah! Atta girl! Good job. I think that earned you some kind of reward.” He gave the top of your head a quick kiss as he started to carry you out of the pool.

Your head was singing with his praises, and your body was buzzing with adrenaline after crossing such a huge milestone. He carried you to his room where he pulled out another shirt for you to wear. “Okay so about that rewar-“

He was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. His eyes went dark. No one was supposed to know where this place was. He quickly picked you up and sprinted to the office. There was a secret false wall panel that led to a saferoom. He had told you of its existence in case he ever needed to hide you, but you hadn’t actually seen it. He was in the process of opening up the wall when a familiar flash of blonde hair showed on the security monitor. You pinched his shoulder and pointed.

He looked at what you were pointing at and groaned. “What the fuck is he doing here?”

***************************

tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime @klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs

[doublerainebow]

Artist Resources (Part 1?)

This is basically just going to be a bunch of resources I have found to be useful. I can’t say that I’ve used all of them, but I’m sure they’re all worth checking out.

I’m also gonna try to put a detailed description for most of the links so you have a better idea of what you’re getting. I apologize in advance if some of them are redundant lol

(I put “Part 1″ if in the case I make another one)

~Links to Tutorials, Tips, Resources, etc~

Another Resource List -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Apparently, the post isn’t mobile-friendly, so it’s suggested to view this on Tumblr browser. Has a bunch of other links. I’ve checked out a few of them (mainly the copyright stuff lol), and it seems that some of the links may be a bit outdated. Still, it doesn’t hurt to check out the links.

Arms and Legs -- Leads to another Tumblr post. A handy tutorial on elbow and knee placement.

Art & Game Dev -- This leads to my personal playlist of a bunch of YouTube videos. Has a bunch of tutorials and interesting videos that I’ve collected over the course of a few years lol.

Blamblot -- A website that contains resources and tutorials on comic lettering. This is primarily in reference to western comics, but it doesn’t help to take a looksie.

Commission Calculator -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Helps artists to stop selling themselves short.

Comparing Heights (hikaku-sitatter) -- A height comparer for centimeters.

Comparing Heights -- A height comparer for feet and inches.

Mouth Shapes and Lip-Syncing -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Useful for... drawing mouth shapes.

Reference Angle -- Useful for when you’re trying to map out a face from an odd angle.

Soft Proofing for Printing -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Helps when you’re trying to make prints of your artwork.

Textures -- A website full of different and mostly free textures. While this website is made for 3D texturing, it can also be useful for 2D drawings. Signing up gives you 15 free credits everyday, and you can use those credits to download some textures for free.

The Models Resource -- A website of models ripped from a wide array of games.

The Spriters Resource -- A website of sprites ripped from a wide array of games.

The Textures Resource -- A websites of textures ripped from a wide array of games. 

~Links to Stock Images~

Please check out whatever policies they may have for their images before using them!

(not sure if any of them are active anymore as I followed some of these accounts a long time ago when I used to be more active on Deviant Art lol)

adorkastock (formerly senshistock)

anatoref -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Has a bunch of hand photo references

charligal-stock

HumanAnatomy4Artist -- Does contain nudity

null-entity

PhelanDavion

RobynRose

~Links to Other Artists~

Akihito Yoshitomi -- Yoshitomi is a mangaka who has tutorials on manga making. He also has an insightful series in which he drafts and draws a 30-page manga in 18 days. Remember that every artist works differently and his process may be different from another’s.

Drawfee -- Drawfee is an improv drawing show of four artists: Nathan Yaffe, Jacob Andrews, Julia Lepetit, and Karina Farek. While they don’t have tutorials in a sense, their videos explain the different processes they go through as they draw. They also occasionally provide tips, tricks, and resources in their videos. They do have another channel and a Twitch channel where they host drawing classes in addition to other fun shenanigans.

EtheringtonBrothers -- Has a bunch of useful and eye-catching tutorials called “How to Think When You Draw”.

Mark Crilley -- Mark is a comic artist, specializing in manga, who has a bunch of tutorials about anatomy, perspective, comic making, and other things.

Miyuli -- Miyuli is an artist who posts tutorials on their Twitter. Their tutorials range from anatomy to clothing to other things. They even have a few books of art tips. Currently (as of the time of posting this), their 2018 version is free for download, so I highly recommend you download that. Some tips may be outdated, but they should still be helpful.

Whyt Manga (Twitter/YouTube) -- Odunze is a comic artist, specializing in manga, that has a bunch of tutorials on manga making and drawing characters of color.

~Links to Free Programs~

Blender -- A free 3D program if you’re into 3D modeling and such. I also personally haven’t used Blender (I use Maya lol), but I know it’s a respectable program.

Krita -- A free painting program if you can’t afford Photoshop or Clip Studio Paint. I personally haven’t used Krita, but I have recommended it to a few friends and they have positive reviews about it.

Paint Tool SAI -- Okay, this one isn’t free, but it’s a significantly cheaper painting program where you don’t have to pay a subscription. It’s 5,500JPY (~50 USD). I’m not sure how well it still works on modern computers (the last update was 2016), but I still use it here and there because I love the pen tool feature it has, and it still works like a charm for me.

~General Tips From Raine~

Raine admits that she’s guilty of not following her own advice, but Raine hopes that the tips that she does know will be beneficial to someone who will follow them. She’s also going to keep all her tips under the cut so as to not make this post a huge wall of text (even though it technically already is lol)

Also, if you have some resources, tutorials, tips yourself, please feel free to send them to me and maybe I’ll make a part 2 to this post!

ALWAYS LOOK FOR REFERENCE. This should really go without saying. You can’t draw from life if you refuse to observe life itself.

If you can’t find the exact thing you need, MAKE YOUR OWN REFERENCE. Time and time again, I can’t find something exactly that I need. So instead, what I do is that I take pictures of my own reference. Sometimes I even grab a friend and take pictures of them doing whatever it is I need.

Have a mirror handy when you’re drawing. Sometimes what you need is actually right there in front of you.

Having trouble drawing something? Do some studies. Take the time to understand what it is you’re drawing. I can’t remember the exact story, but I heard that the people who were working on Tarzan were having a hard time drawing his hands. So, what they did was spend a few hours looking at hands to try and understand how they work.

IT’S OKAY TO STUDY THE ART OF OTHER ARTISTS. Just as we look to the old masters as a reference, it’s definitely okay to look at modern-day artists for reference. Just don’t go copying exactly everything that they do, or worse, trace what they do. Just don’t do it... at all.

Not every line needs to be realized. The viewer of your work will automatically connect the dots.

DO NOT TRASH YOUR OLD DRAWINGS. Please, never ever do this. Your old drawings have value to them, even if they look terrible to you. Old drawings may hold ideas for things you could do for the future. They also serve as a way to see how far you’ve come as an artist.

GETTING BETTER AT DRAWING TAKES TIME AND EFFORT. You’re not gonna get better overnight. It’ll take months, or even years, to feel like you’re a competent artist, and even then, you’ll still have room for improvement.

DON’T LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF IF YOU’RE TAKING A LONG TIME TO GET BETTER. It’ll be better for your mental health in the long run.

Alternatively, DON'T LOOK DOWN ON OTHER ARTISTS EITHER, ESPECIALLY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER. You know the struggles it took for you to get where you are, so don’t go putting down other people when you’ve been in their shoes once.

KEEP DRAWING. If you’re not making an effort to get better, then you’re not going to be better. I get that it’s hard to find the inspiration to draw (I’m very guilty of this), but just keep trying. It doesn’t have to be big or spectacular. You don’t even have to post it if you’re the type who likes to post their art stuff.

Try to find references from real-life. It’ll help you better understand form, lighting, shadows, etc., especially if you’re going for a more realistic kind of art style. Otherwise, finding reference from things like cartoons, anime, comics, etc. are just as good.

Try new things. Try new art mediums. Try a different art style. Switch up the way you do things. Maybe you’ll hate it, maybe you’ll like it. Who knows if you don’t try.

Watch time-lapses (or speed draws/speed paints) of other artists!

Pinterest and Google are your friends if you need tutorials or references or whatever.

If you’re offering commissions, DO NOT WORK UNDER YOUR LOCAL MINIMUM WAGE. You are literally devaluing the work you actually put into a piece.

I like to think I’m an aficionado of Photoshop, so feel free to ask me questions on how to achieve something! I’ve used Photoshop for about 11 years now and know my way around the program. On another note, I do recommend setting custom keyboard shortcuts in Photoshop because the default shortcuts are terrible (in my opinion), and because having custom shortcuts increases the speed of your workflow.

Because I’ve been seeing this a lot lately in Twitter, you’re never too old to start in art. Art is just one of those things that anyone can pick up at any age because the only thing you really need to get good in art is time, diligence, and patience.

Try not to post hi-res images of your artwork to prevent art stealers from selling your artwork in high resolution.

Always, always, always add your signature and watermark on your artwork. I like to add my signatures and watermarks in places that’ll be hard to erase or crop out. I’ve also seen people add their signatures and watermarks in creative ways (ex. on a character’s shirt). You need to protect your work in an era where people will just blatantly steal it and make profit off your work.

Tag List

@reality-is-often-disappointing

[rosecoloredbi-writes]

Settle

Summary: After the death of your best friend and their spouse, you went from Godparent to Parent overnight. Now, Mio is your world. Because of this new role, you move back to Tokyo, Japan in order to keep Mio with her friends and her school, even if it means you might run into *him*.

Warnings: Mentions of stalking. Swearing probably. Cannon violence. Single parenthood. barely mentions Mio's parents passing.

Gender Neutral!Reader x Shouta Aizawa (Eventual)

Mentions of past GN!Reader x Dabi

A/N: Okay here is my first fic for My Hero Academia! I got the idea for it earlier today and figured I'd just post this first part I just finished and see if I should keep uploading. This is the first thing I've written in a while and I'm so excited to be writing again :)

It took him a moment to reorient himself, but he knew where he was going. A few more buildings and finally to his perch, he looked in to see you, and to his surprise, a child- no older than five, maybe 6, snuggled into your chest, your arms protectively around them. He stayed in his hiding spot for a while as you slept with your child. He hadn’t been informed there would be a child.

About an hour later, he noticed another person watching you in the shadows, just like he was. He would have to stay all night to make sure no one harmed you.

You controlled your breathing, not wanting the two sets of eyes to know you were awake, to know that you knew they were there. This way you had the advantage. You didn’t know what they wanted, but either way, you had a bad feeling about it.

She began to stir as the sun shone through the open window, stretching her small arms and legs before turning back to face you.

“Good morning my sunshine,” you said softly. “Did you sleep well?”

She nodded her head before sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Guess it’s time to get up, huh Mio,” you stood up and picked your girl up, giving her a squeeze as your eyes glanced around. Only one set of eyes, you realized making you shiver.

You did your best to keep to your usual routine and soon enough you were out the door, Mio's hand in yours.

The school Mio attended was used to having students whose parents were pro heroes, so you gave her teacher the signal and they knew something was up and knew not to release even to the people you had given the school the okay to. After a kiss goodbye, you headed to the market, now with your headphones on, music off.

You hummed as you looked through the isles of food, picking up the few things you needed and setting them in your basket. The bakery you worked at was out of a special type of flour you needed to bake a client’s cake with. Once everything was paid for and in tow, you noticed a red feather settled amongst the items.

Why is Hawks following me? What does he need from me and why?

You carried on with your day, hoping he hadn’t noticed that you had noticed.

That is until he came into the bakery. You ducked just in time and took a deep breath, coming back out to the front after he dinged the bell.

He was about to say something, a dumb smirk on his face, but you cut him off.

“Why are you following me?” You asked, trying your best to sound confident and brave.

His features dropped and his eyes narrowed before quickly going back to a leisurely look. “You’re better than they told me you’d be,” He finally said.

You rolled your eyes as you walked over to the little door and opened it for him, gesturing for him to follow you to the back. Once you were settled you told him to start talking.

“I really shouldn’t be telling you any of this bu-”

“I know someone else is following me,” you said, cutting him off again. “I need to know who, why, and if my daughter is in danger.”

“Straight to the point. I like a person who knows what they want,” he commented, eyebrow raised. This had you rolling your eyes again. “We don’t know why or if your daughter is going to be targeted, but we are pretty sure the League of Villains is watching you.”

You took in a sharp inhale. There was only one person who you could think of that would have joined up with them and you knew why he was watching you. You should have recognized the bright blue of his eyes. “Dabi.”

You were very quickly taken into hiding with a man you didn’t know, cause that made you feel safe and protected. But, you pulled some information out of him. For example, his name was Aizawa Shouta and he was an underground hero. His quirk allowed him to erase other people’s quirks, thus the name Eraser Head. He also had a cool capture weapon he wore as a scarf. You tried to mess with it once and it didn’t end well.

You were allowed to go pick Mio up, but you were discreetly escorted by Aizawa who was now in street clothes, hair tied up, looking like he could fall asleep at any moment.

Mio was confused as to who the man was and gave you a questioning look. “Don’t worry, he’s a friend,” you told her softly as the three of you began back to the safe house. Once there, you introduced the two.

She was tense but eventually got comfortable when she saw that you were okay.

“She’s cute,” you turn to Aizawa who is watching Mio with a soft smile on his face.

“She’s the best kid a parent could ask for,” you replied. “Her quirk,” you started slowly after a moment had gone by, “we don’t know a lot about it, but it has to do with her voice. I don’t know who it came from either. I’m not her biological parent, I was her godparent. And then her parents died and here we are. She’s only said a few words out loud and whatever happened, it scared her into staying silent.”

He nodded. “So Y/N, what is your quirk? Does it have to do with your increased senses?”

“That’s mostly learned, but I’ve always had the extra sense of knowing when I’m being watched, which has come in handy more times than you’d think.” You began rolling up your long sleeves, showing tattoos covering almost all the skin on your arms. “Creation is my main ability, but it has its drawbacks. If it’s not illustrated on my skin already, it’s painful and it drains me, which is why I’m covered in tattoos. I have weapons, items I need handy, and a few odds and ends. Now, with the tattoos, it’s almost as easy as breathing.”

Aizawa began to reach out, pausing before he made contact with your skin, looking up to you for permission. When you nodded, the pads of his fingers lightly traced several of them, following a vine up your arm to a butterfly. He looked at you inquisitively and you gently focused on it until a butterfly appeared, gently fluttering.

“Its… it’s real. You can create living things?” He asked in awe, “But how?”

You shrugged and watched as Mio noticed the flittering and watched with wonder as the butterfly landed on the sofa.

“They don’t last forever, that’s the drawback. The bigger the creation and the longer I will it, the more it takes from me. Inanimate objects are the easiest.” You reached your arm around your back and under your shirt, pulling back with it a sword.

Aizawa gently traced the ornate handle, only to jump back as Hawks entered.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” he says with a sly smile. “You figure out what their quirk is yet?” He asks Aizawa.

You turn to him with a frown. Of course, he didn’t actually care about you. You just met! Not to mention you were a part of his mission.

He has the sense to look slightly ashamed before nodding to Hawks.

“Good, now,” he says turning back to you. “Why is Dabi following you? You know more than you are letting on.” He spoke as he walked closer and closer, wings growing larger. You suppose it’s supposed to intimidate you.

You roll your eyes at him for like, the fifth time that day and brush past him. You walk over to Mio who had fallen asleep watching your butterfly. You smooth the hair out of her face before turning back to the men, giving them a warning look and asking them to keep their voices down.

“Fine,” you huffed, tired of them just staring at you, doing nothing. “I dated Dabi for a little while. Back when I was younger and foolish and my morals were… well, flexible.”

“What did you do to make him want to follow you?” Hawks was growing impatient.

“We fought, I won, he told him if I ever came back I better watch my back. I reckon he’s making good on that promise. I broke his heart, but that was so long ago. But, I mean,” you paused and looked back up at the two men who were looking at you incredulously, “he is really good at holding grudges.”

Hawks looked like he was going to have an aneurysm and Aizawa… well his face was unreadable. Except, there was a touch of something else in his eyes.

"Well you aren't going anywhere for a while," Hawks state with all the authority he could muster, still going over everything in his mind. "Better get comfy."

"No," you state clearly. Stopping everyone in their tracks.

"Excuse me?" Hawks says, stepping forward, extending his wings.

"You heard me," you reply, stepping forward yourself, fingers itching to create one of your many weapons. "If Dabi gets even a hint that y'all know and are protecting me, a whole lot more people are going to get hurt. So no, we aren't staying here. We are going to go home. If I have to have someone to guard us we are going to make it look as natural as possible. If you don't agree to my terms I'm just gonna take Mio and we are going back on the run."

Hawks looks like he wants to scream and Aizawa looks amused. You turn to pick Mio up, then you head to the door.

"Aizawa, you've been seen in public with me. You can be our guard. You'll come over at 6 tonight where we will have a meal, then you'll stay late because we drank maybe a little to much sake, then you'll sleep on the couch. Got it?"

Aizawa nods, completely amused by Hawks' bewilderment, and pats him on the back once before walking out himself.

[cozyenigma]

There When You Call

Really need someone to come slap my hands away from the keyboard or everything is gonna turn into a novel eventually!

Pairing- Reader/Darkiplier 

Word count- 1285

Request?- Yes!

Summary: You ran home hurt, bleeding, and well on your way to freaking out completely. Stuck in a tailspin, you reach out to the first person that comes to mind.

Warnings- blood, injury, brief mention of assault 

Somehow, you managed to get the key in the lock, practically flinging the door open in your haste to get inside. You kick the door shut with just as much force.

As you're tossing off your jacket you feel a sharp pain in your side. You freeze while your already frazzled mind goes into a tailspin. Numb, you peel off your jacket the rest of the way, revealing a dark stain the size of your fist at your side. Both your jacket and shirt have a long, neat tear in them. Horror slowly built in your chest as you realized you'd been stabbed.

Luckily, things weren't quite so dire as you'd thought. You made a beeline to your bathroom, lifting your shirt enough to spot the cut. It was probably going to need stitches but at least it looked like most of the bleeding had stopped. Now that you were in front of a mirror though, it was clear you looked like hell.

Already you could see the beginnings of a black eye forming. Your face throbbed. Add in a split lip and some sore ribs and you felt about as good as you looked. Still, if you hadn't managed to run it'd undoubtedly be worse.

Your hands had started to shake as you left the bathroom. It was like there wasn't enough air in the room. For a few good moments you stand there uselessly before your eyes catch on your phone, still charging where you left it. In the next instant you snatched it up, hurriedly typing out a message to the first person you thought of.

Then you're sliding to the floor, legs feeling like jello. Your phone fell somewhere beside you. The reality of what you just barely avoided was really settling in when you heard a ringing sound.

You hear your name being called but don't answer. The volume of the ringing increases slightly as Dark sweeps in, scanning the room before settling on you. You're starting to properly freak out as he quickly kneeled in front of you.

When cool hands cupped your cheeks you jumped, only now realizing Dark had arrived almost immediately after you sent that text. Just as quick you launch yourself at him. He almost toppled from the force, freezing for a moment before returning the embrace. His hands rubbed circles into your back and he was more cautious than usual. Whether it was because of your injuries or something else you couldn't be sure.

"You're safe now," his voice was low, trying to soothe you, "I'm here."

You knew you were shaking but with the adrenaline starting to wear off you were powerless to stop it.  Time seemed to take a pause then. You're not sure if he spent just a minute or several murmuring quiet reassurances to you. When Dark drew back he started searching for injuries, eyes flitting across your body. When he caught sight of the blood on your shirt he growled out a quiet curse, going to get a better look before you grab his hand.

Dark looked up at you. "I need to look at it."

Throat tight, you nod but don't let go of his hand just yet. Now that you weren't running back home, everything was starting to hurt. Your face throbbed and the cut on your side made itself known whenever you moved as much as an inch.

When you continued to hesitate, Dark sighed quietly. "You're hurt. Please just let me heal it."

You take a breath, trying to steady yourself. "Okay."

When he peeled the cloth back you could see Dark frown. Maybe your assessment was off? You can't quite bring yourself to look at it again, trying your best to push down the pang of fear at the thought.

"You're going to need stitches." He sounded oddly clinical considering. "Can you stand?"

Managing another nod, Dark helped you to your feet, his hold tightening just a fraction as you winced. He guided you back to your bathroom, having you sit down on the edge of the bathtub. After looking through your cabinets Dark huffed and turned to you.

"I'm coming right back, do not move."

You don't have a chance to say anything before he's striding out of the room. The silence that fell over you then was stifling. Luckily you don't have much time to yourself before Dark is walking back in, a rather hefty looking first aid kit in hand.

Dark noticed your staring. "We keep these around in case the doctor is… preoccupied." Setting it on the floor next to him, he started grabbing supplies. "Comes in handy in our line of work."

Despite the situation you couldn't help but snort. "Like when Wilford nearly chopped his finger off trying to cook?" Your voice was a bit too shaky.

Dark just shook his head. "Should've made him take care of that himself."

The two of you fell quiet as Dark tended to your wounds. Aside from the slash to your side, you'd managed to scrape your knees up real good and scored a few other smaller cuts and bruises. You managed to keep still, somehow. Halfway through though, Dark asked what you're sure was weighing on him the entire time.

"How did this happen?" His tone was measured. Carefully calm.

All you could do was shrug and you didn't meet his eye when he looked your way. "I don't know. Walking back home, someone tried to stop me."

His hands paused for a split second before continuing. "What happened?" Dark asked again.

"I don't know what they wanted," your grip on the edge of the tub tightened, "I just tried to run. Wasn't fast enough I guess."

You almost didn't notice how the ringing that sometimes followed him around seemed to get louder. Dark betrayed little though, working with ruthless efficiency. It only took him a minute more to finish up, leaning back with a terse nod. You're left sitting there as he stands pulling out his phone and leaving the room.

Carefully stepping around the remains of the first aid kit you follow. You find Dark standing out in the living room, voice low and angry as he was talking to someone on the phone. Glancing over his shoulder, Dark hung up and turned to you.

"I'll have it taken care of," he said, pocketing the phone.

What that meant, especially considering you hadn't even seen the person's face, was anyone's guess. You hug your arms around yourself and feel the fresh stitches pull slightly. Probably better to leave that one a mystery.

Even though you thought you were hiding it well, he seemed to notice your discomfort anyway. He stepped closer, brows furrowed. "You'll probably want to see an actual doctor at some point."

"I'll be fine I think," you lied.

Maybe physically, sure, but neither of you missed how hard you were gripping your arms. Before he could say anything else, you reached out for his hand. Dark wasn't adverse to touch but still seemed taken by surprise sometimes. This time though he seemed to anticipate it, giving your hand a squeeze.

"Stay." You said, hopeful. "Just for tonight at least."

"Of course," he said quickly, as if he expected you to ask. Wordlessly, he drew you in, resting his chin atop your head. The ringing had quieted somewhat now, you noticed. Though it was hard telling what Dark actually thought about this considering how tightly he was holding you too.

Little words were exchanged after that. The high of adrenaline having long since faded by now, you were exhausted. Though he didn't say it aloud, the way he held you seemed to say "You’re safe, I love you.”

[peach-pops]

hello!!! I love ur blog so much ! Can I requests a hc with Oikawa and Kuroo dating a Hothead/easily angered girlfriend? Maybe she gets into a fight and how would the boys react?

This is spicy yes of course! Also I def relate to the reader cause I get mad at freaking everything. There is a lot of cussing and there is violence obviously so just a warning!

Also PSA: I know Mika ( Daisho’s gf)  is probably super nice in the manga but I had to make her uhhhhh unlikeable so yeah. 

Oikawa and Kuroo with a Hothead Girlfriend

-Oikawa-

There’s no need to sugarcoat it, Oikawa was intimidated by you because of your ‘ don’t fuck with me attitude’ but once you started dating, he realized it came in handy especially with his fans

He never had to worry about his fans ever messing with you because they’d be dumb to say anything to your face without you throwing hands back so Oikawa always thought things would be in his favor

UNTILLLL you showed up to one of Aoba Johsai’s games because of course, you wanted to support the team 

You watched the game from up on the stands and you could hear his fans whispering amongst each other about you but you wanted to stay focused on the game 

Whenever Oikawa served, he would make a quick glance at you to make sure that you saw it but even though your eyes were on him, you didn’t look thrilled

Oikawa put two and two together once he saw his little fanbase a few rows back laughing in your direction and his heart dropped. Sure, he was upset that they were saying things about you but he was even more worried that you were going to kill them 

The match was getting closer to the end but the girls were persistent in bashing you for every little thing and you did  your best to keep your temper under control 

“ What is she even wearing?” 

“ Shouldn’t she be wearing a jersey to support her boyfriend?”

“ Maybe Oikawa-San and her broke up!” 

“ Thank goodness, he can do so much better anyway. He is way out of her league.”

You clenched your fists against the bottom of your seat. You’d be damned if you were just gonna sit there and listen to them talk badly about you

You whipped your head around and gave them a deadly glare,” Just wait until this game ends and we’ll see if you’ll be able to keep talking shit.” 

They’re just shocked that you even turned around to confront them and while they’re a bit shooketh cause you’re  high key scary, they don’t take your threat seriously 

Oikawa can practically feel the tension in the air so once Aoba Johsai scores the last point and they take their bows, he looks up at you as if he’s pleading with you to just wait until he can get there

Cue that one tik tok: ‘ girl don’t do it, it’s not worth it…’ 

And you’re looking back at him like ‘ im not gonna do it girl...I was just thinking about it...im not gonna do it”

You and Oikawa both thought that the coast was clear and that you two can go about your day but then the main fangirl opened her mouth,” I told you guys she’s too scared to fight us. Who does this bitch think she is?”

It all happened so fast, one minute you were beaming down proudly at your boyfriend and the next, you’re jumping over the bleachers to launch yourself at the girl in the stands 

“ OH SHIT!” Oikawa raced out of the gym with Iwaizumi running after him because Iwaizumi knows Oikawa might need his help 

Oikawa had never seen you this mad before so he didn’t know what to expect as he raced up the stairs

His mouth dropped when he saw you on top of the girl and you were going at it 

like yassssssss reader beat her ass!!! Fuck her up!!!!🤪🤪🤪

There’s a crowd gathered around but Oikawa managed to squeeze his way through and shouted at you to stop. He knew how strong you were and frankly, the girl didn’t even stand a chance against you. 

Obviously, he is your number one fan but he didn’t want you to go to jail for murdering this girl in cold blood

He tried to pull you off of her but you have that gorilla grip and this boy was struggling to pry you off like damn where is all of this strength coming from???

Oikawa looked around for anyone to help him but the crowd was a bit too scared of you so he shouted for backup

“ IWA-CHAN HELP ME BEFORE SHE KILLS HER!” 

Iwaizumi pushed through everyone and he assessed the situation. He sees lil ol’ you swinging at the girl who’s sprawled out on the floor screaming but he’s more focused on the fact that you listened to his advice on how to throw punches

He stans necessary violence!

Iwa managed to loosen your grip on the girl which gave Oikawa enough time to wrap his arms around you and hold you back 

“ Who’s scared now ha!” You laughed evilly as Oikawa tried dragging you away from the crime scene and he’s visibly shaken because his girlfriend is psychotic but is it awful that he feels so proud?!?!?

Like in his head he’s thinking,” damn okay go off queen!” 🥰

He managed to carry you all the way down to the stairs and pulled you aside to make sure you’re okay 

“Are you hurt anywhere? How are you feeling? Do you need some water or some ice for your knuckles?”

You looked down at your knuckles and sure enough, they were bruised but surprisingly not bloody,” Oh, I fucked up my knuckles...I didn’t even notice, ” You said as Oikawa shook his head disapprovingly,” I wasn’t even hitting that hard!”

“ Iwa-chan, can you be a dear and get some ice? I’m gonna stay here with Y/N to make sure she doesn’t go back up there,” Oikawa said as you held up your knuckles to show Iwaizumi 

“ How do I look Zumi?”

“ Damn Y/N, those look badass!”

Iwa was practically beaming because he knew he had taught you well🤩🤩🤩

“ Iwa-chan don’t get encourage her! Go get the ice!” Oikawa shouted as you and Iwaizumi both laughed before Iwa turned to leave 

Oikawa lightly skimmed his thumb across your knuckles and pressed an even lighter kiss to your knuckles before sighing,” Was it worth ruining your pretty hands honey?”

You inhaled deeply before shrugging innocently at your boyfriend,” Toru, I really tried to keep my cool I promise! They were saying really mean things the whole time but I did my best to control myself but she had it coming...Are you mad at me?”

“ Of course I’m not mad,” Oikawa answered honestly as he pulled you closer to him,” If you lost than sure, I would be disappointed but you won so I’m more proud than anything! But I’m pretty sure you broke her nose.”

“ A wise boyfriend once said; If you’re gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks,” You said with a smirk as Oikawa leaned in to give you a victory kiss

-Kuroo-

Kuroo knew what he was getting himself into when the two of you started dating. You were always so sweet and thoughtful but whenever you were upset, you didn’t care who got in your way, all you wanted to do was unleash the beast!

Most of the time, Kuroo could calm you down before it ever escalated but on the rare account that he couldn’t, he just hoped you didn’t do too much damage to whoever was on the receiving end 

At the end of one of Nekoma’s matches, you were celebrating with the team in the hallway when Kuroo excused himself to go use the restroom

You thought nothing of it and continued to chat and congratulate the other Nekoma members but as minutes passed by without seeing Kuroo, you excused yourself and went to go find him

You turned the corner to see Kuroo with his back facing you as he was loudly talking to Daisho. You knew Kuroo disliked Daisho but you were taken aback when you saw a familiar face next to him, Mika Yamaka 

You and Mika had never gotten along, even way before Kuroo had his feud with the Nohebi captain. The last time you had saw her, things hadn’t gone so well so to see her in the flesh made you feel some type of way

You walked over to where Kuroo was standing as the conversation halted

“ What’s going on? Everything okay?” You asked as Kuroo wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in closer

“ Nothing, everything is fine,” Kuroo smiled but you could tell that something was obviously going on

“ Wow Y/N-chan, I gotta say, you’ve changed a lot. I see you finally figured out how to style your hair,” Mika said ‘sweetly’ as she played with her boyfriend’s volleyball in her hand,” you finally look grown-up.  I was sure you’d always look like that little geek I met in middle school.” 

You felt him squeeze your hip tightly as if to say ‘ don’t let her get under your skin’ but you couldn’t help yourself to snap back

“Aw, Mika. I wish I could say the same for you but turns out you’re still a fucking snake who-”

“ Okay, let’s just calm down and take a breath,” Kuroo said as he leaned down to whisper into your ear,” don’t do anything stupid, okay? I got your back.”

You squeezed his hand as you kept your icy stare on Mika who looked unbothered

“ Your girl sure does have a temper doesn’t she?” Daisho laughed as Kuroo snapped his eyes over to him

“ What did you say snake?” 

OH SO NOW IT’S SUDDENLY OKAY TO SAY SNAKE

“ He’s not wrong. Y/N is kinda known to be a bit of a bitch,” Mika said as a matter of fact as you and Kuroo both tensed up,” little miss hothead is what they used to call you right?” 

As angry as you were, you knew that she was just trying to push your buttons and that she wasn’t worth the hassle. At this point, the rest of the Nekoma boys were watching from afar and even Kenma had looked up from his game to watch the heated interaction

“ Let’s just go, you guys are all bark and no bite. That’s why Nohebi loses everytime against Nekoma. You want some advice, how about you guys win before you start to talk shit,” You scoffed as you grabbed Kuroo’s hand and walked off in the opposite direction 

Micdrop lets get it Y/N

Kuroo smiled down at you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead,” Baby, I’m really proud of you. I know it’s hard to keep your cool and I’m sure you wanted to beat her ass, huh?”

“ God, I was this close Tetsuro. I swear, I-”

You felt something hard hit the back of your head and a second later, you could hear Mika’s annoying voice,” Who’s all bark and no bite now?”

You looked down at the ground to see the volleyball she had just chucked at your head and you felt smoke come out of your ears

You moved your eyes up and locked eyes with Kenma like ‘did this bitch really just do that😮’ and Kenma nodded ‘girl she really did👀’

Kuroo looked shocked. He didn’t even know what to say but he really didn’t want you to get into a fight 

“Baby-”

“ Hold my purse,” You snapped as you shoved your bag into his chest and walked over to where Mika was standing 

“ Aw, is Y/N-chan gonna cry-”

Kuroo and Daisho watched with open mouths as you practically launched yourself at her, causing the two of you to hit the floor. The Nekoma boys shouted words of encouragement and you could even hear Yaku shout “WORLDSTAR!”

“ You! 👏🏼Stupid! 👏🏼Bitch!” You yelled as you kept slamming your fists into Mika as she swung her fists back to try and get you off

Kuroo rushed over, unsure of what to do. 

A little backstory: You two had a hypothetical conversation a while back and you had explicitly told him that if you had gotten into a fight, he was not allowed to step in unless you were losing. By the looks of it, you were winning by a longshot

It wasn’t until Daisho tried grabbing you off of Mika that Kuroo suddenly became protective and stepped in

“ Don’t touch her, snake!” Kuroo yelled as he easily pushed Daisho to the side and ripped you away from Mika

You scrambled and struggled against your boyfriend’s grip as you continued to curse at Mika

“ Uh huh! That’s what I thought you raggedy-ass, fucking bitch! You’re awfully quiet now, huh!” 

“ Oh my god babe, please-”

“ Whatever!” Mika shouted as Daiso helped her up as she held her nose in pain,”That’s why your stupid boyfriend stepped in.”

“ He stepped in cause he knows I will kill you! Do you hear me, Mika? You’re lucky my boyfriend isn’t such a weak ass like you because if he wasn’t holding me back, you wouldn’t be able to get off the floor-”

“ Okokokokokok! She got the message baby, you’re scary and she’s a dumbass,” Kuroo was struggling to keep his grip on you so he readjusted himself and threw you over his shoulder as he walked past his teammates,” let’s head to the bus.”

The rest of the Nekoma teammates followed the two of you back to the buses as Kenma walked over beside you,” Do you want me to send you the video?”

“ You were recording?” You and Kuroo both asked as Kenma nodded approvingly

“ Hell yeah! Send it to me!”

On the bus ride back, it was relatively loud from all of the talk about you throwing hands with Mika but Kuroo had all of his attention on you 

“ I can’t believe she threw a volleyball at your head, what did she expect when you pounced on her?” Kuroo said as you leaned your head against his shoulder,” but damn, we were so close to leaving without a fight.”

“ I know, I’m sorry Tetsuro. You know I can’t stand her or her boyfriend,” You huffed as Kuroo sighed 

“ You know, have I ever told you how turned on I get seeing you mad?” 

“ Yes babe, several times.”

[dadgonedeku]

Todoroki and kirishima with a s/o who comes back from training with her back and neck sore but she takes care of him and he notice by her actions that she’s not doing well and then he takes care of her

Todoroki + Kirishima taking care of physically exhausted s/o!

❄️~Hi lovely!! I hope these are okay! I apologize it’s so late!! 😭

🔥~SFW & Fem!Reader (fem!pronouns were used!)

🥊~Happy Reading!

Shouto Todoroki❄️🔥

❄️~ Training had been especially rough for the past few days, Aizawa not letting up on pushing you and your classmates beyond your limits.

🔥~ You were exhausted to say the least, as soon as training was over for the day you grabbed your stuff and practically limped to the locker room.

❄️~ Your back was killing you, so much so that you wouldn’t be surprised if you had broken or fractured something. Of course you hadn’t, but it sure felt like it. Every time you stretched or adjusted your posture a shooting pain would radiate through your upper body.

🔥~ Your boyfriend, however, was holding up pretty well. Psh, of course he was, he always did. It was rare when Todoroki got hurt or even exhausted during training. He was one of the strongest in the class, and you were right behind him. For some reason though, today just wasn’t your day.

❄️~ When you exited the locker room holding your costume case you spotted him waiting for you across the hall, typing on his phone leaning up against the plain walls of the school. Since Aizawa was satisfied with everyone’s work for the week, he decided to let you all go back to the dorms early for the weekend. Thank goodness.

🔥~ Your eyes met his and he flashed you a soft smile before tucking his phone into one of his pockets and picking up his own case. You met in the middle of the hallway and walked together. He took your free hand in his gently, and you almost instantly felt a little bit better.

❄️~ “Are you alright s/o?” He asked you curiously, and you only nodded in response. You didn’t want to worry him, if anything you wanted to ask him the same thing. Maybe some sleep and pain medicine would get rid of your back and neck pain. It was a chore to even hold your head up.

🔥~ Of course he could tell you were holding back, in your sparring match against Bakugou you pretty much got thrown all over the place. The force of his explosions almost never failed to send his opponents flying in one way or another. He never held back, especially against girls. You couldn’t help but be kind of grateful for that though, it made you feel tough.

❄️~ “Are you sure?” He asks again, worry lacing his words. Part of you wants to be honest and tell him you’re in pain. It hurts to walk, turn your head, and even stand up straight. You choke it down and swallow your pride, maybe taking care of him will help you feel better.

🔥~ “I’m fine Sho, let’s just head back so I can wrap up those cuts for you.” He barely even had any, and the ones he received in his match were minor, barely even bleeding. He knew something was up. Your posture was stiff and your shoulders were tense. You were walking a little weird too, but of course you always prioritized him over yourself. He couldn’t help but be a little resentful towards your lack of self care. He left it alone though, deciding that fighting you about it now wouldn’t accomplish anything.

❄️~ When the two of you arrived back at the dorms hand in hand, he noticed how you immediately start to head to your dorm instead of talking with the rest of the girls like usual. It had become a little habit of yours to talk with them every other day or so in the common room, but today you just didn’t have the energy. That made him worried, were you okay? Did he do anything wrong?

🔥~ He heads to his own dorm, following you upstairs. It was pure luck your rooms were on the same floor, it made sneaking sleepovers and movie nights easier. “You sure you’re okay s/o?”

❄️~ “Yes Sho, just let me borrow the first aid kit you have.” He responds with a quick okay before opening the door to his dorm, letting you in first before closing the door behind himself. You had grown to have your own little collection of clothes, personal products, etc in his room and honestly, he found it really cute. He notices you struggle to bend down to your backpack to get clothes for yourself. You just wanted to change, all you wanted to do was change, take care of your boyfriend, and sleep. You forced yourself to hold tears back from spilling over as you gave up, your back hurt too much, it was just too much.

🔥~ “S/o? What’s wrong?” He asks, and you break. The pain is overwhelming. You finally crack and tell him everything while trying to massage your aching neck with one hand. He only responds with a frown, making his way over to you and wrapping his arms gently around you. It hurts a little, but you’re instantly met with contrasting warm and cool sensations. It feels so good.

❄️~ “Sit on the edge of the bed, I’m gonna get a heating pad and some medicine from my bag. No objections.” He says bluntly before guiding you over his bed, begrudgingly you sit down best you can and put your face in your hands. Heating pad? Meds? Potential cuddles with your boyfriend? You were all for it, it was almost too good to be true. The only problem, you were still in your uniform and he was already changed, you wanted more comfy clothes.

🔥~ “Sho?” He responds with a hum, and you can almost see the small smile on his features as he digs through his closet. “Can you pass me my bag? I wanna get my comfy clothes so I can change.” He pokes his head from behind one of the doors before asking you to wait a moment. A few moments pass and he walks back over to you. In his arms are the heating pad, one of his hoodies, and a pair of his sweatpants. “These okay?” He asks, and you smile at him as he passes you his clothes and moves to plug the heating pad in, he helps you up and you change as fast as you can in the bathroom.

❄️~ When you come back out he’s already laying down waiting for you, heating pad resting on your side of the bed and a cold water bottle in his hand. It feels like a dream. You walk over to him and he helps you get back into bed, a comforting hand taking yours while the other gently supports the small of your back as you lay down. With a groan you assume the position, and he hands you the water bottle to drink from and a couple of pain pills to swallow.

🔥~ “You did really good today s/o, so please don’t hide things like this from me. I want to take care of you when you need it.” You’re almost in tears on the spot and you can feel the pain is already fading, slowly but surely. You had the best boyfriend ever. You thank him and reach your arms out, a silent request for snuggles. He flashes you another small smile before gently wrapping his arms around you, a cool hand rubbing smooth circles into the back of your neck. He places short kisses on your forehead, telling you how proud he is of you. The nap afterwards is heaven.

Eijirou Kirishima🥊

🥊~ “S/o, are you sure you’re okay? Today’s training was tough and you look really tired.” He asks for the 3rd time, and you just nod your head in response.

🥊~ You were busy patching up a small gash on his shoulder, one he had aquired earlier that afternoon during training. Aizawa had been relentless in his drills for the past couple days, and every night you would tend to Kiri’s cuts and bruises in his bathroom. He never knew about your own though, you didn’t want to worry him.

🥊~ Of all nights to have back and neck pain it had to be this one, and it sucked. It hurt to just keep your head up, but of course you kept it to yourself. Kiri’s physical wounds were worse than your pain right? That’s what you had convinced yourself of anyway.

🥊~ “Almost done Ei, can you pass me the ace bandage on the counter?” You hold out a hand and he nods, taking said bandage in his palm before dropping it accidentally. It rolls to the floor beside you and before he can even apologize you’re bending down to get it.

🥊~ Wrong move.

🥊~ As soon as you turn your body you let out a yelp of pain, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as you rush a hand to support your back. Kirishima is taken off guard, eyes wide and focused on you as he takes your free hand in his.

🥊~ “Babe are you okay? What’s wrong?” A worried gaze comes into view as he pulls you back upright, and you can’t help but fall over and lean your head on his chest. You’re so exhausted, your back and neck hurt like they never have before. All you want to do is lay down and sleep, but Kiri’s shoulder came first.

🥊~ “Sorry, I’m okay. My back just hurts a little.” You groan out, Kirishima bends down really quickly and picks up the bandage. Easy, he did it so easily. Why couldn’t you do it? You both had the same training right? Why was he better off than you? You couldn’t help but be at least a little curious.

🥊~ “You wouldn’t have reacted like that if it was just a little. Come on, let’s go get you some medicine and then we can cuddle.” He gives you a toothy grin before standing up and putting away the bandage.

🥊~ “Ei I’m fine, I promise. Just sit down and-“

🥊~ “Nope, no ifs, ands, or butts. I’m gonna help you and there’s no getting out of it. Come on babe, stand up for me.” He holds out a calloused hand for you to take in your own, and you do, not after rolling your eyes though.

🥊~ “But what about your arm? At least let me-“

🥊~ “I’ll be fine, it stopped bleeding anyways. You’re more important.” He gently ushers you to bed, and thank goodness you’re already in pajamas when you lay down, if you weren’t you didn’t think you ever get back up to change. He asks you to wait a moment before opening his mini fridge, he grabs a water bottle and tosses it onto the bed before heading to his desk drawer.

🥊~ Also known as the snack drawer.

🥊~ Why he had snacks in his desk drawer? You didn’t exactly know, but they always came in handy whenever you would sneak into his room to sleepover.

🥊~ He pulls out a package of your favorite snack before grabbing the water bottle and sitting down next to you. He opens the bottle and urges to drink, setting the snack on your lap for you to open and eat at your leisure.

🥊~ “Drink, you’re exhausted, staying hydrated is important.” Of course he would say something like that, being the fitness geek he is. He was 100% right though, so instead of arguing you just took the bottle and sipped from it.

🥊~ He props your neck up with a couple pillows and you relax against the soft material of the pillow cases. They are cool and soothing against the skin of your neck, and you nearly wallow in the relief.

🥊~ “Feel better babe?” Kirishima asks you with a side smile, he’s laying on his side now, facing you and holding one of your smaller hands in his again. He always knew how to make you feel better, no matter the day. You were eternally grateful.

🥊~ “Much, thank you. You didn’t have to do this you know.” His expression drops at your statement and you pause mid sip. You wonder why his crimson eyes are full of concern again. Did you say something wrong?

🥊~ “Babe, you always take care of me. You deserve the same, not only because you’re my girlfriend but because I love you and I wanna make sure you’re okay. Giving your body rest is important. Besides, taking care of you always makes me happy.” It had been a while since you’d heard him say something so serious, but even so it tugged at your heart strings. You only nodded, closing the water bottle and placing it on the table next to the side of the bed along with the snack. As if on cue he wraps his arms around you and you rest your head on his chest. You almost fall asleep right then and there.

🥊~ “Thank you Ei, I love you too.” He kisses your forehead and rubs gentle circles into your back. The pain has gone down a little, but it still lingers, and you let out a wince when he brings up a couple fingers to touch your neck.

🥊~ “You okay s/o? I can massage your neck too if you want.” He doesn’t even wait for your response, his hands already moving up to your shoulders and beginning to knead them, strong thumbs pressing into the back of your neck. You instantly feel a lot more relief, deciding to go limp in his hold with your arms wrapped around his leg while moving to lay in his lap.

🥊~ “I don’t deserve you Ei.” You say in a sleepy voice, only to be followed by a grunt in response to a flick on your forehead.

🥊~ “Ow! What was that for?”

🥊~ “Shush, don’t even start. We both know that’s a lie. You kicked ass today babe, as you always do. Stop selling yourself short. If anything I don’t deserve you. Now let me take care of you in peace please?” A teasing tone laces his last sentence, causing you to nod and giggle slightly. Luckily he’s probably too worn out to give you a lecture on self worth, he’s always good at making you feel confident.

🥊~ After a while you fall asleep in his lap with a smile on your face, and Kirishima kisses your head a few times before gently laying you back down next to him. He cuddles you in his arms and tucks you in, making sure your body isn’t contorted in any way before nodding off himself.

[breanime]

Theoretically if rio's cute neighbour, the one that watched his son, was being harassed by an ex or just some creepy guy. What would rio do?

So you can find the first neighbor headcannon list here. Also, this headcannon list got long as hell... haha, sorry?

*gif not mine*

Rio had been out of town for the last week, handling business

He’d texted you to let you know he’d be back soon--

--partly to be a good neighbor, and partly cause he wanted to see you

The two of you weren’t dating, but there was definitely something between you

(sexual tension)

And Rio was eager to see where it would go

He walked down the hall to his apartment, his bag slung over his shoulder, glad to be back in his own space

Then he saw your door

The wood was cracked, as if someone had punched it or something, and Rio stopped dead in his tracks

He knocked on your door, eyebrows knitted

You answered with a bat in your hands

“Huh...” Rio said, eyes roaming your body--from your tense posture to the bat in your hands to the tired, exhausted look in your eyes. “... Rough week without me, mama?”

“Oh, Rio,” you sighed, and Rio watched your body relax, “Sorry. I was just--”

“Expecting someone else?” He asked, walking into your apartment. 

He dropped his bag at the foot of the couch and turned to you, frowning

Rio watched as you locked both locks on the door behind him; he’d been in your place about 100 times now, and he’d never seen you do that before

“Yeah, kind of...” You answered. “How was your trip?”

“Fine,” he answered, sticking his hands in his pockets, “but I don’t wanna talk about that right now. Let’s talk about you.” He titled his head. “What’s going on here?”

You sighed again, and Rio wanted to hold you. You were stressed, and he longed to fix it

“I’ve just...” You crossed your arms, hugging yourself. “I don’t want to bother you with it.”

Rio took a few steps forward, until he was in front of you. He eyed you seriously. Someone so beautiful, he thought, shouldn’t look so sad. Not when he was around to help. 

“Bother me,” he said softly, his voice firm but low

“Last year...” You began, looking down. “...I dated this guy, and he was just...” You shook your head. “He was an ass. We broke up, and I never heard from him again... till a week ago... The night before you left.”

Rio’s eyes narrowed; he remembered that night. He’d taken you out for drinks before his trip, spending the night smiling and laughing with you. He’d gotten a call in the middle of it, and when he came back to the table, he saw a man walking away. But you hadn’t said anything about it, and you seemed fine, so he didn’t ask about it.

“The guy from the restaurant...” Rio said, nodding to himself. “That’s your ex.”

“He saw us out, and when you stepped away, he came up to me--but all he did was say hi. He wasn’t weird or aggressive or anything,” you said back, “But then he... I guess he found out where I lived...”

“Yeah,” Rio licked his lips, “that his handy work on the door?”

“Yeah,” you nodded back, “Every day since that night, he’s been calling me nonstop and showing up here, pounding on the door. I called the cops, but they said there’s nothing they can do unless he actually hurts me, so--”

“I got you,” Rio said, grabbing his bag 

He turned to go, but you held onto his arm.

“What are you gonna do?” You asked, eyes wide.

He looked down at you

On one hand, he could lie to you, keep up the polite charade that he made his money the legal way, that his business was simply in “providing capital” like he’d told you once before. The two of you hadn’t ever explicitly discussed what he did, but Rio knew you knew his vague descriptions of his business were just that: pointedly vague

But on the other hand... he could tell you the truth. Maybe you’d be cool with it.

Or maybe you’d shy away and turn from him. 

Either way, he was going to handle this for you, but he couldn’t deny--

--he wanted you to be ok with it. With him. For some reason, as Rio looked down at you, he saw something special, something that made him feel protective of you, something beyond the lust and friendly affection he had for you

When he looked at you, he saw a partner

 “I’ma tell him that the next time he so much glances up at this apartment,” Rio answered evenly, “I’m gonna put a bullet between his eyes. And if he doesn’t like that, I’ll put him down then and there.”

“You... You’d do that for me?” You asked, pretty eyes wide

“I’d of had this handled already if you would’ve told me before,” he confessed, reaching out to cup your face in his hand, “but since I’m here now, I’ll handle it personally.” He leaned down, his mouth just inches from yours. Rio wanted to kiss you so badly, he felt the desire in every part of him with you so close. “Stay here,” he told you, “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

He didn’t move, though, and neither did you.

Your hand flexed on his bicep, wanting to bring him even closer. “Rio, I...thank you.”

He smirked. “Don’t thank me yet.” He leaned in closer, about to say something else

And then you kissed him

Rio had kissed a lot of women in his life (a lot...like a lot a lot...)

But never had a pair of lips felt so good against his own. 

Rio’s arms wrapped around you, and he silently marveled at how perfectly you fit against him. He titled his head, slipping his tongue into your mouth, and you moaned into him. 

Chuckling, Rio’s hands went to your waist, and he led you towards the couch

You took a hold of his collar and dragged him down onto the couch with you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he laid on top of you

“Baby,” he chuckled into your lips, “I gotta go.”

“I know,” you said back, grinning, “I just need a few more minutes...”

He laughed. “For what?” He asked, even as he dipped his head down to start kissing your neck. The little sounds you made when his lips ghosted against your skin were driving him wild. 

...the ex might have to wait a bit.

Rio was kissing your collarbones while lifting up your shirt when a loud band sounded behind him

You jumped, but Rio just turned lazily, one eyebrow raised

“It’s him,” you whispered, and when Rio looked down at you, he could see the fear in your eyes

This, he decided, would be the last time you would ever look like that

“Relax,” he said, his voice low and calm. He leaned down and kissed you sweetly, and he felt you relax under his touch. “I got this. Just stay here,  mi bonita chica.”

Rio got up, kissing the top of your head as you sat up, and reached down into his bag.

“Y/N,” the banging was louder now, “I’m not playing with you--open this damn door right now!”

Rio grinned--it would be his pleasure

Rio opened the door and leaned on the doorway, a lazy smirk on his face. “Hey,” he greeted the man, “you know this is a private residence?”

The man blinked, taking a step back, and Rio chuckled. He knew this type: big, loud, and bad--until someone badder came around. 

“Wh--what the hell are you doing here...?” The man asked, craning his neck to try to peek into the apartment. 

“Yo,” Rio stood up straight, shaking his head, “What you lookin’ for? Huh?” He stepped up, and your ex stepped back again. “Y/N?” He asked. “She ain’t your concern no more, homie. I am.”

“I--I don’t--”

“Oh,” Rio chuckled, “That’s right, I’m sorry. I haven’t introduced myself.” He whipped out his gun, pointing it directly at the guy’s paling face. “I’m Rio. I’m the man Y/N’s currently seeing, and she wanted me to let you know that this shit,” he waved the gun, the smile no longer on his face, and the man backed up into the wall, eyes wide with terror, “Is done with. You stop callin’, you stop comin’ around, and you definitely stop trying to intimidate her into talkin’ to you. Matter of fact,” Rio went on, “the next time you see her, you better get the fuck away, cause if I hear about you even breathing in the same space as her again,” he stepped up and pressed the golden gun into the guy’s forehead, “I can’t promise I’ll stay this controlled. Is that understood?”

The ex nodded, looking like a bobblehead with his huge eyes “I---”

“No no no,” Rio smiled, “don’t speak.” He glanced back at you, you were standing in front of the couch now, watching. “You got any cash on you?”

He nodded

“Great,” Rio said brightly, “let’s see it.”

The guy reached into his pocket and took out his wallet, handing it over to Rio

“Mm...” Rio eyed his ID, memorizing the name and address for later use. “This looks like just enough to cover the cost of repairing the door,” he said, taking out a wad of bills, “and a lil extra for emotional damage.”

Rio threw the wallet back at your ex, who caught it, eyes never leaving the gun in Rio’s hand

“Okay now...” Rio grinned. “Run.”

He didn’t have to say it twice, your ex scurried away so quickly, that he fell half-way down the hall and just crawled into the elevator. If Rio didn’t know any better, he’d say he smelt piss in the hall now...

Rio closed your door, tossing the gun--which was empty--onto his bag on the floor

He turned to you, laughing when you launched yourself into his arms

“Thank you,” you said, your head buried in his chest, “thank you, thank you, thank you--”

“I told you,” he said, smiling down at you, “I got you. And yo, I was thinkin’...” He held up the cash. “...why don’t you use this on some self-defense lessons, just for fun?”

“But what about the door?”

“Ah, baby,” he leaned down, kissing you, “that’s what we got a super for!”

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! 

Everything Taglist: @encounterthepast @jigsawlover10 @gollyderek @charlylama @realduckvader @whovianayesha  @lexxierave@loveintheroyalfamily  @fanfictionrecommendations-com  @maxslime-blog@songforhema @lucielandss @themadhatter92  @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes@carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @iaintnofurry  @ymariejp@its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli@stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens @leahnicole1219 @evanlys19 @binbons-is-theloml @aikeia @bitch-imma-head-out​  @witchygagirl@geeksareunique @sparrows-books  @nyxxnoxx​ @justvnash​ @truly-insatiable​

Rio Taglist: @gemini0410​ @sweetybuzz25 @glimmerglittergirl @gensneverland @jamielennkeeler

[the-sympathetic-villain]

Hello! I just saw your post about wanting remus prompts? Obvs no pressure but I cant get this out of my mind of the rat man..... BAKING

Yes... I need the rat man baking. This took me a bit because I’m really bad at writing short prompts but I like how it turned out! Originally, this was meant to be straight fluff but I couldn’t seem to get away from my personal headcanon that Remus stress bakes lol but its still mostly fluff with a little bit of vulnerability from the rat man <3

Cookies and Coping Mechanisms

Description: After SvSR, Remus knows that everyone is upset by the outcome of episode. His solution? Dragging a reluctant Virgil into the kitchen to make cookies.

Word Count: 1747

Characters: Remus, Virgil (Platonic Dukexiety)

Warnings: Remus-Type Content (Sexual innuendo, Allusions to Drugs, References to gore, etc.), Flirting, Swearing

---

    “Come on, Virgie. This'll be fun.”

    “Last time I heard that, you ended up on fire, Remus.” Virgil muttered as he shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets, cast a cautious glance at the bouncing creative side.

    “You can't spell fun without fire!” Remus chirped happily.

     Virgil stopped in his tracks, looking up in disbelief. “Yes, you can—”

     “Not if you actually want to have fun, Gerard Gay.” Remus threw out over his shoulder as he continued his manic dive into the cupboards. Metal pans flew up to the countertop as Remus swung around to throw open another drawer with a loud clang.

    Virgil growled. His eyes darkened with exasperation as Remus tossed a bag of flour on the counter and a puff of white haze shot up into the air. “I'm so glad that Logan soundproofed the kitchen so you can as be as loud as you want.”

     “Hey, that was Roman's fault." Remus stopped digging through the fridge to point at Virgil. “He brought the firecrackers—”

     “You lit them!” Virgil threw his hands up in a gesture to the large scorch marks in front of the stove.

     “Irrelevant.” Remus purred with a playful grin. “Now preheat the oven for me, emo boy.”

    “To what?” Virgil muttered as he stalked toward the oven.

    “350 degrees, baby!”

    “Don’t call me baby.” Virgil sighed, barely looking up at the mess Remus was making as he danced around the kitchen. “I don't even know why we're doing this. Cookies can’t fix what happened.”

    “Well, it sure as hell can't hurt, Donnie Darko,” Remus winked, shooting finger guns at Virgil. “especially since we’re catering to each of them personally. Everyone can hate each other and all, but they can't hate cookies.”

    Virgil paused in confusion.  “You said we were making one batch of cookies, Remus. I didn't sign up for a whole day with—”

    “I never said we weren't. Just one batch is all we need.” Remus grinned with a teasing smile, taunting him to continue.

    “How can one batch of cookies cater to all of them?” Virgil wondered. “I mean I get Patton, but the others are a little harder to please.”

    “Don't you worry. I'll spill the beans,” Remus paused with a suggestive grin. “but first I need you to strip, Frightmare before Christmas.”

    Virgil let out an exaggerated sigh as he ducked his head to hide the redness in his cheeks. “Whatever fantasy your trying to get me play out, I won't—”

     “Lose the hoodie, Virge. Everything else is optional.” Remus interrupted, grinning suggestively as Virgil tipped his head up. “Unless—"

    “No.”

    “Fine,” Remus giggled as he gave in to Virgil. Before he walked away, he slipped a piece of paper across the table as Virgil slipped his jacket off and laid it off to the side. “It’s to get nice and toasty in here and I don’t need you looking like you just got off a sweet bender covered in a suspicious white powder when we go to deliver the goods.”

    “Okay—Okay! It’s off now.” Virgil through his hands up in exasperation as Remus wiggled his eyebrow up at him. “You can stop tormenting me.”

    “Great.” Remus cheered with a flourish of his hands as he tossed the flour at Virgil. He giggled as the bag erupted into a white puff all over Virgil, leaning into his friend’s scowl before returning to hopping about the kitchen. “Mix the dry ingredients and I'll start on the wet stuff.”

    “Great.” Virgil huffed, rolling his eyes as he straightened out his black tee and brushed the flour off himself. Reluctantly, he picked up the flour to begin as he looked up at Remus for explanation. “Now, tell me why you think this is going to make everything better.”

    “Well, Pattycake obviously loves homemade gifts—"

     “Patton is the easiest to please.” Virgil muttered as he measured the flour. “That's not an accomplishment.”

   “Yeah, well. All Roman wants is attention. The fact that we were thinking of him is enough to brighten his spirits,” Remus grinned as he started to whisk together his ingredients. “and the snake boy has a sweet tooth. He hates to admit it, but sugar is Janus’ comfort food.”

    Virgil paused. His eyes narrowed on Remus with skepticism in his eyes. “And what about Logan?”

     Remus’ grin widened as he swiped Virgil’s bowl and began combining the ingredients. “Well, we're making thumbprint cookies and—”

    “—and thumbprint cookies require jam.” Virgil deadpanned as Remus nodded. He stared blankly as the creative side finished the dough and reached below the counter.

     “Bingo, bad boy.” Remus chirped as he slid a jar of Crofter's across the table.

    Virgil eyed the jam suspiciously as he bit his lip. “Where exactly did you pull that from—”

    “Not relevant.” Remus cheered brightly as he handed Virgil a spoon and started forming the cookies. “Start scooping and don't skimp on the jam. I don't want to offend the nerdy professor.”

    “Re, this is—” Virgil stared as he followed behind Remus, dropping jam into the indents of the cookies. “—surprisingly thoughtful.”

    “So, what?” Remus grinned, raising an eyebrow at Virgil. “Can't a guy do a nice thing every once in a while?”

     Virgil blinked, trying to stifle his own shock. “You try to convince Thomas to jump out of moving cars or eat dirt at least daily. Nice things just aren’t what you’re about. Are they?”

     “Maybe, I don’t like being predictable.” Remus chuckled as he took the tray from Virgil and slipped it in the oven.

    “Holy shit,” Virgil’s mouth dropped open as Remus set the timer. “You actually care about how the others are feeling right now?”

    “What?” Remus mused, raising an eyebrow at Virgil. “Did you think I was here for my own amusement, stormy night?”

    “I mean, kinda.” Virgil dropped his hands to his side, tugging at the hem of his tee. “I didn’t know that you were capable of—"”

    “Of course, you wouldn't think so.” Remus interrupted with a bored tone, sounding exasperated.

     Virgil paused as Remus dropped his voice. The uncharacteristic serious in his friend's muted tone stopped him in his tracks and he turned back to see Remus leaned on his elbows, staring at the countertop.

    “After this last video without us, everyone's thoughts about themselves are turning to crap and I feel them spiraling just the way you do, emo boy.” Remus smirked as Virgil stared back at him with shock in his eyes. “So, yeah. I used to make Thomas repeat this recipe over and over in his head until he memorized the damn thing.”

    “You did that so you could bake for the others if they had a bad day?” Virgil blinked, shocked at the sudden change from Remus’ usual boisterous behavior.

    Remus let out a long sigh as he fidgeted with a wooden spoon in his hand, twirling it between his fingers. “You might be his anxiety, but your not the only one carrying that gnawing dread that nothing's gonna work out, Dr. Doom. If it's grating and repetitive, it shows up on my radar too.”

    “I had no idea." Virgil muttered, unsure of what else to say.

    “You can thank Janus for that one, Virgie baby.” Remus chirped, a little more upbeat as the time chimed off. “You didn’t want to know and the snake's been keeping you safe and snug as long as you been kicking.”

    “But what about you, Ree?” Virgil wondered out loud as Remus started to drop the hot cookies onto plates to cool. “Who keeps you safe?”

    “Eh, who cares?” Remus’ voice cracked slightly as he rolled his eyes. “Point is that I’ll feel icky and this’ll make that go away.”

    “Remus, that’s not—”

    “What? Healthy?” Remus purred, as he wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulder and jostling him. “Hate to break it to you, kid, but I'm not Tommy-boy’s good coping mechanisms.”

    “No, but that's why Thomas works on them.” Virgil muttered as Remus released him. “I'm not exactly what Thomas wants all the time either, but he work through his issues so that I can focus on protecting him.”

   “Here’s the thing though,” Remus flashed Virgil a sharp-toothed grin as he chuckled. “My purpose ain’t quite so handy as yours, so its not worth that—”

    “You’re wrong, Remus.”

    Remus looked up in surprise at Virgil’s abrupt response. He stared for a moment at the concern in Virgil’s eyes before straightening up. “Oh?”

    “You keep Thomas grounded in reality.” Virgil shrugged as Remus looked up at him with skepticism in his eyes. “If Thomas lived his life looking Princey's rose-colored glasses, he'd be ignoring all the complex and difficult things that give life meaning.”

    Remus raised an eyebrow at him with a playful glimmer in his eyes. “So, there is creative value in ‘juicy butth—”

    “Stop,” Virgil held up a hand with a chuckle. “You know what I mean. Not everything is sunshine and sparkles. Thomas can’t ignore things just because he doesn’t like them. He needs the ability to face those things and you give him that, Remus.”

     Remus giggled, flashing a knowing smirk at Virgil. “You better be careful, Virgie. If you’re not, I might start to think you give a shit.”

    “I do.” Virgil dipped his head to hide the redness in his cheeks as Remus smirked at him. “I do, okay? Now, just shut up so we can deliver some cookies.”

    “Oh, gag me, emo boy.” Remus chuckled, barely concealing his smile as he made an over-exaggerated expression of disgust. “I didn't know you were capable of being so tooth-rottingly sweet—”

    “Just shut up." Virgil muttered half-heartedly as he smiled and took the plate Remus held out for him.

    Remus chuckled, nodding to the exit with a smirk. “Fine. How about we just deliver these top-notch sweets to our favorite depressed bitches then?”

    “Fine—” Virgil nodded reluctantly, hesitating as he followed Remus. “—and then maybe we could watch a movie or something after?”

   Remus nodded, perking up as he bounced along the hallway. “Something gory?”

    Virgil snorted as he staggered down the hallway. “Might as well. None of the other sides will watch scary movies with me anyway.”

    “It's a date then, stormy night.” Remus grinned, feeling lighter as they walked down the hall together. “You wore me down.”

    Virgil rolled his eyes, smiling as he followed the bouncing man ahead of him. “Good.”

---

General Taglist:

@justanotherhumanstuff​ @im-an-anxious-wreck

[mnictasbcl]

Still immortal, Connor?

Next story for @connor-sent-by-cyberlife‘s #dbhghostsinthemachine challenge! Prompt OCT 5: Immortal.

Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor

Characters: Connor, Hank Anderson

Tags: Temporary character death, Denial, Existential crisis, self-destruction, hurt/comfort, violence, swearing, guilt, panic

Warnings: Temporary character death (i.e. Connor)

Summary: Two months after the Revolution, after Connor finally deviated… he dies.

The next morning he wakes up in a new body.

 Read it on AO3! Or, read below....

Chasing the suspect, a whir of thoughts and preconstructions, taking into account the unpredictability of a human who’d just committed murder in broad daylight—facts and figures, numbers blurred, risks and percentages—all overlayed by the mission to capture the suspect. Or else risking even more lives.

One risk taken, he noticed too late. Hank had always demanded he stay on the safe or balanced path, but here he was, sliding down a rooftop. Tried to time his jump, but his limbs faltered, thirium pump catching in his throat as he saw the great drop—

 To a sickening crunch onto the cement.

     He didn’t think androids dreamed. But when he came to… it wasn’t real. He’d died, his memory banks proved so with the last recorded moments of his processor’s consciousness. So why could he see? See above him the white and blinding light, feel the cold metal of an examination table…

It had to be a dream.

But someone came over to him, an android, a medic at Jericho, and they smiled to see him. He held his hand out towards them and they pushed it back down. It felt so tangible, so real…

It had to be a nightmare.

Something clicked in his head, auditory processors roaring to life. Life.

This wasn’t life.

This wasn’t real.

“…how are you feeling?”

He looked at the medic, before pushing himself up on the table.

“I’m supposed to be dead.”

They laughed awkwardly. “Ah, yeah, you were… luckily…”

“Then where am I? Do androids really have a heaven- or hell? What is this?”

“It’s alright, this is probably a shock for you. But if you’ll just…”

Connor looked away from them, and then something glinting met his gaze. The reflective surface of a tray by his bedside. He snatched it, sending the glass of thirium that had sat atop it flying.

He stared into his reflection and screamed.

  …………………………………………………………………………

  When Hank arrived at Jericho, Connor was still sedated.

“We couldn’t keep him awake, he was screaming himself hoarse, starting to lash out, tearing at his skin,” the android described to him—Paul, his nametag read, “Markus suggested we phoned you.”

Hank nodded, stepping to the side as Paul opened the curtain. “He was right. I would’ve been there when Con was waking up, but… I’d just seen him die, you know?”

“That’s understandable. And I believe his reaction… we think it might be associated with some sort of loss, grieving over his body.”

“Yeah. Or maybe it’s ‘cause he could do this before.”

“Pardon?”

“He’s died before. Cyberlife just shipped his brain out in a new body every time. I thought once the whole deviating thing happened, he might stop dying… but he’s too damn reckless.”

Typing out something on the keyboard beside Connor’s cot, Paul nodded. “I see. Maybe it’s associated with a past trauma.” With a click of a key, he turned back to Hank. “Either way, I’ve started the process of letting him wake back up. But if he starts panicking again, I’ll be nearby.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The curtain swished shut. Hank watched as Connor’s LED spun hazy colours, the start of his wake-up sequence. God, he didn’t think he’d see that again. See him again. He’d died. Dead, crushed on the concrete, blue blood splattered on the—

He slapped himself. Thinking like that wouldn’t help Connor. Who was struggling too, evidently.

Yeah, it was freaky, downright horrifying to see him placed into another body again. But it was still Connor. Still the same loveable android who spoiled Sumo something silly.

The same android who he’d have to drill some self-preservation skills into, apparently.

 He was pulled out of his thoughts by a groan. It was Connor, exactly the same voice—yeah, he guessed he was glad they’d managed to salvage some Connor models from Cyberlife after it’d been signed over to the androids at Jericho. Would’ve been even freakier if he’d been someone else.

But as soon as he came too, his LED snapped out of its brief lapse into calm blue, flaring up red. His eyes landed on Hank and he jumped back on the cot, tumbling off the side and onto the floor.

“Hey, hey, Connor—”

“Get away from me!”

Hank stopped, standing still where he was. “Alright, alright, I’m not coming any closer. But that means you’ve got to stay where you are too.”

Connor complied, half-laying on the floor, hands jittering at his sides.

“And it also means you need to calm down. Unhelpful advice, I know, but you’ve got to do it for your sake. Deep breaths, yeah? I know you androids don’t fucking need them but it’s a self-soothing sort of thing…” He exaggerated his breaths, slowly in and out, starting Connor in the eye until he looked like he was attempting to copy.

“Now, the helpful guy before—Paul, I think—he said you might be a bit confused. Scared. Cause they had to put you in a new body and…”

Progress was undone. Connor got up, stumbled backwards into a table, sending metal tools scattering across the floor.

“I knew it. I knew they’d done it again—Cyberlife—”

“Hey, not Cyberlife. Jericho.”

“No. Because androids don’t live forever, Hank, they die. Because androids are alive now. But I cheated death! I’m… not alive.”

“Bullshit. You think, what, they’re just gonna let androids die with all the technology they’ve got these days? If Markus got injured, you think they’d just go, oh well, that’s that, he’s dead? No fucking way. They’d find a solution, and sure as hell would take the opportunity if they had handy copies laying around of him—”

“Copies, Hank. I’m just a copy! I’m not…” he brought his arms around himself, making motions over his chest. “I’m not… each time a Connor model is uploaded and replaced; it loses fragments of its memory.”

“So, what, you forgot that shitty soap we watched the other day?”

“You don’t understand! I’m not a deviant anymore!”

Hank froze. “You… no, look at you right now! Emotion, right there, you’re showing it alright. Deviants don’t do that.”

“The… the wall is gone, but she’s still there.”

“Huh?”

“Amanda. She’s still in my head, I haven’t destroyed her yet. She’s going to take control and—”

“Oh, the Zen Garden? Con, that’s not in your body. It was up here,” he tapped his head, “and you kicked her out. Now it’s filled with… I don’t know, dog hair, ‘cause that shit gets everywhere.”

Connor stifled a wet chuckle, bringing a hand to trace over his face. Tears were leaking down his cheeks. “Oh. But I… this…”

Hank looked at him, hand reaching out in an invitation to move forwards. When Connor let him, he stepped tentatively closer, before enveloping him in a warm embrace. “I know, son, it’s different. It’s still you, but it’s different. I’d be freaked out if I was in a different body too. But this isn’t like before, when you did stupid shit and turned up the next day as if nothing happened. You were trying to save lives, you fucked up. But I’ll help you make sure that never happens again.”

“I promise I won’t do it again.”

“Better not. Scared the living hell out of me. Now… how about we go thank that Paul guy, then get you back home? Sumo hasn’t seen you in a day and I think he might send out a canine search party if I don’t bring you to him.”

This time Connor fully laughed; LED circling yellow. “Okay, Hank.” Collected his belongings, draping his jacket over his shoulder. Just as the Lieutenant neared the curtain to draw it open, he said softly, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem, kid.”

[aliceinreverselondon]

You Really Got Me – part 3: Losing Control (Kakashi Hatake x reader)

(note: part 1 and part 2)

This was probably the first time Kakashi realized how little he knew about your friends. Now that you were heading to a stranger’s place, he began to question his own judgment. If it was only the two of you, it would have been fine, but at the end of the day, his students were still kids. What kind of person this Kisuke was? Could he be trusted?

“Let me guess: I went too far again, didn’t I?” you suddenly asked as you looked over at him.

Oh, look at that, you noticed it without help! That was new. “Yeah, you did,” he confirmed with a nod. “But there’s no turning back now, I guess. The least I can do is help when we get there. If they want to see a fight, we’ll give them a good one,” Kakashi added with a smile under the mask.

“I really missed you. Sometimes I forget that we make a pretty awesome team,” you told him before reaching out to take his hand.

There was no question about it now, you had changed a lot since the last time you met. He wondered why, though. Was it all an act? Were you trying to prepare him for something bad? Could it be related to this friend of yours? No, he shouldn’t be paranoid. You probably didn’t have any ulterior motives. As he tried to get rid of his ridiculous thoughts, he laced his fingers with yours.

“Aaaaargh, can you two just stop? I’ll end up throwing up,” Naruto complained in the back.

“I hate to agree with Naruto, but–”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Kakashi interrupted Sakura with a sigh. Damn, how could he forget they were sitting back there? Well, maybe it had something to do with the fact they had been unusually quiet. “Alright, here are some rules: be respectful with our host, don’t be too loud or rude and… just… behave. This isn’t too much to ask for, right?” he asked casually.

He looked back and waited until all three nodded. And then out of the blue, you began to laugh and quickly glanced at the rearview mirror. “But don’t worry, Kisuke is kinda a weirdo as well. Just don’t get on his bad side because even I’m scared of him sometimes,” you added after you cleared your throat.

No, he definitely shouldn’t begin to ask you about why you have such people as friends. But it was an interesting question nonetheless. While he spent most of his time among fellow ninjas, you lived in a completely different world with a wide variety of different creatures. Sometimes he wished he could be a part of it, although that would only be possible if he agreed to become one of your Betas. But he still didn’t want that.

Soon the car parked in front of a perfectly normal looking shop and Kakashi couldn’t help but scratch the back of his neck once he got out of the car and took a good look at the building. This place had an underground training facility? In this case, the shop’s real purpose was to hide their real operation. Clever.

“Sakura, did you order the food?”

Kakashi turned around with a questioning look. When the hell did the two of you have time to talk about that? “Yes, it will be here in about half an hour.” Sakura gave you back your phone and you flashed a surprisingly kind smile at her. “Don’t you think it will be too much? This amount of food would be enough for over ten people.”

“Well, I’m sure Naruto is really hungry,” you began as you winked at the boy, “and I’ll also need food to recharge so… yeah, it will be just enough.”

“Y/N, it’s been a long time since we last met!”

Turning to the source of the cheerful sound, Kakashi noticed a blond man waving at you from the door. Was he that friend you’d talked to? Was he only a friend? Or was there a time there was more between the two of you? No, he had to stop acting like some jealous idiot every time you even looked at another man. You loved him, that was obvious. But by the time he managed to push these thoughts to the back of his mind, everybody was already inside the shop so he quickly caught up with you.

When he stopped, you immediately wrapped an arm around him and said, “And this is Kakashi Hatake, my better half as of now.”

Wait, your what?

“He’s gonna help me with this little… demonstration. And we should do it before the food arrives.”

“Alright, let’s go then,” Kisuke said with a wide grin then signaled the group to follow him. “Once the fight begins, stay where we tell you otherwise you might get hurt,” he explained to the kids along the way.

“So what’s the plan?” Kakashi asked as the two of you stayed behind a bit.

“I don’t have a plan,” you admitted. “But you should go all out against me. Hell, you should also use your Chidori. I’d like to see their faces when I come back after that.”

Okay, so she was really hell-bent on scaring the kids. This could end really, really bad if you lost control, and right now he had a feeling this could easily happen. He knew that look in your eyes and it made him uneasy. Behind that carefree smile was a monster waiting to come out to play.

The training ground was impressive to say the least, he had never seen anything like this before. No wonder you chose this as a location, it was perfect for this purpose. Maybe they should build something like this back home. But these thoughts were soon replaced by new ones because he was still worried about the fight, even when the two of you were facing each other at a safe distance from the rest of the group. How could he stop you if you lost control?

First, it was hand-to-hand combat, using basic weapons for now. Unlike him, though, you never carried weapons with you since you could create them by manipulating a type of dark matter within seconds. It was a handy trick of phantoms, something he envied every now and then. After this, it was time to move on and he began to use different kinds of jutsu against you. There were some you could copy with your own ability, some you dodged by quickly teleporting out of the way, but mostly you created shields to protect yourself.

At one point you stopped and remained completely still, signaling him to use his original move against you. He wasn’t really fond of the idea of attacking you with the intention to kill you because it kept reminding him of what had happened with Rin back in the day. I shouldn’t compare the two, you can easily come back to life in a matter of minutes, he thought. After taking a deep breath, he did it. He pierced his hand through your heart and the only thing that made him feel a little better was the wicked little smile on your lips before you slowly disappeared in the form of black smoke.

As he waited, he thought about the way you had fought him. Something was wrong. Even that smile at the end… it wasn’t a playful one. And even your eyes turned black. You were slowly losing control and this was something he had feared from the beginning. If you came back who kne–

Pain. He felt pain in the back of his head as it hit the ground. When his vision cleared, he noticed you sitting on top of him, one hand tight around his throat, and the other covered in dark matter with an end shaped like a spear. This was bad. This was really, really bad. Soon this spear would be pierced through his head, only to have large spikes forming on its side seconds later. You wanted to kill him. If he didn’t find a way out of this situation this will be the end for him. “Y/N, come one, don’t do this,” he tried.

“Shibari, Benihime,” he heard a faint voice in the background and almost right away a crimson net appeared around your body, completely immobilizing you. When he pushed you off himself and sat up, he noticed Kisuke standing not far from you with a katana in his hand. “Are you okay?” When he nodded in response, the man walked over to you and let out a sigh. “When was the last time you visited him?” he asked quietly.

You looked up at him and your eyes slowly turned back to normal. “Tonight. But it was a quick visit.”

Who the hell were you two talking about? And had it happened right before you met at the restaurant? So if his guess was right, you didn’t disappear because of an assassination.

“Yet it was enough to rile you up,” Kisuke noted as he looked back at the kids. “No wonder they managed to make you this mad. Anyway, did you calm down? We should go and eat, I’m sure the food is already here.”

You nodded, but Kakashi couldn’t look at you now, instead he turned his attention to his students. They were terrified and he couldn’t blame them for this. That was close. Too close.

If you find any mistakes or typos, I’m sorry, I didn’t really read it again before posting.

taglist: @spn-obession​​​ @marajillana​​ @sarahschance​

[honyakuninakunaru]

With You, Whom I Don't Understand // Mithra SSR Card Story

CHAPTER 1

(Northern ruins)

Mithra: <Arthim>

(Crash)

The moment Mithra’s spell resounded with a dull echo, a curve cut through the giant beast's neck and sent it flying. The rest of its body, now beheaded, swayed back and forth several times in search for its lost neck and once in vain, it let out a chilling cry, turning into stone.

Akira: ("T-that was so quick, I barely grasped what just happened...")

Mithra: "What kind of mana stone is this? It's the size of a pebble."

Akira: "You did a good job, Mithra. Commission completed!"

A commission about a magic beast gone berserk because of the Calamity's effect arrived earlier today, so I asked the northern wizards to come and take care of it, but, Mithra, unsurprisingly, ended up defeating it all by himself.

Snow: "As expected of our one and only Mithry! He took it down in the blink of an eye."

White: "He is the manor’s Ace, after all!"

Akira: "You don't say... I was surprised how quickly it was over with."

Owen: "If that's the case, let Mithra do all of this boring work."

Bradley: "As long as you have him, it's gonna be taken care of in a jiffy, right? You don't gotta ask all of us to come here."

Akira: "I'm sorry...! I didn't think it'd end so soon."

Mithra: "But they're right - we don't need excess luggage."

Bradley: "Come again?"

Mithra: "Am I wrong?"

Owen: "I see you want to turn into stone very badly, should I make that wish of yours become a reality? I'll let you have a taste of Mithra's mana."

Mithra: "There's no way that will ever happen. You're weaker than I am, after all."

Snow: "Certainly, Owen's power at the moment is no match for Mithra's."

White: "Both you and Bradley should put a lot of effort shall you aim to take the place of the manor’s Ace."

Akira: ("They're right, Mithra is our Ace, without a doubt. Even I know how strong he is, but... that's all I know.")

(Dining room)

Akira: "I was hoping I could chat with Mithra a bit more, but he's not here either, even though it's lunch..."

Speaking of what I know about Mithra... I know that he's the second most powerful wizard after Oz, his taste in food is... peculiar, and that he suffers from insomnia because of his injury from the Calamity. And he also made a promise to protect Rutile and Mitile.

Akira: ("I wonder if I'll come to understand him better if we became closer...")

Owen: "Hello, Master Sage."

Akira: "Wha- Owen! What's with you, appearing out of thin air?"

Owen: "You ought to prepare for the summoning ceremony of new wizards. Because if not, those guys will surely get killed by Mithra. "

Akira: "Killed...!? Wait a minute, what do you mean by that!?"

Owen: "Go to the tower. Something very fun is happening there."

CHAPTER 2

(Running footsteps)

(In front of the tower)

Akira: "Excuse me! I heard that some sort of trouble happened here and I came to check!"

Rutile: "You arrived just at the right time, Master Sage!"

Mitile: "Mister Mithra wouldn't let us go!"

Mithra: "You're so noisy... Please sit still and behave."

Akira: ("He's holding them by the scruff of the neck like kittens...?")

Figaro: "Hi there, Sir Sage."

Akira: "Figaro, Lennox, just what happened here?"

Lennox: "The four of us were just heading over to the Southern country when Mithra came to stop us."

Mithra: "Because there's no way I could let them go there. I would be in trouble if you two went somewhere where I can't see you. I can't allow you to do that, because you're weak."

Akira: ("Ah, right, Owen doesn't know about the promise, so he probably thought Mithra was hurting them or something...")

Rutile: "Mister Mithra, please let us go. We're going on a day trip to visit mother and father's graves, together with everyone else from the South."

Mithra: "Grave visiting or not, it doesn't matter. Even if it's just a day trip, that won't change the fact that I won't be able to keep an eye on you."

Lennox: "Then, why don't you go instead of us two?"

Akira: "You want Mithra to go?"

Lennox: "Rutile and Mitile said they're worried, so we suggested to accompany them."

Figaro: "It does take a while to get to the City of Clouds. You have to fly for a bit after arriving at the tower, and it can be dangerous when going past the mountains, not to mention."

Mithra: "..... <Arthim>"

Mithra: "Come on, let's get this over with."

Mitile: "Wha!? Wait a minute, Mister Mithra!"

Rutile: "A-alright, then! See you later, Mister Leno, Doctor Figaro!"

Figaro: "Yep, have a safe trip. Ah, how about you go as well, Master Sage?"

Akira: "Me?"

Figaro: "You're always dealing with the requests we get, and you're doing your very best, you deserve to go and get some healing over at the South."

Akira: "Um, if you say so... I'm off, then!"

(City of Clouds)

Akira: ("Well, that was quick... Mithra's Door of Space sure is handy.")

Citizen: "Would ya look at that! More people are turning up!"

Rutile: "My, you came too, Master Sage! Hello everyone. These are our precious friends from the manor - Master Sage and the northern wizard, Mithra."

Citizen: "Ooh, the Sage and a wizard from a different country, you say! You and Mitile seem to get along with everyone at the manor, what a relief."

Akira: ("They know Mithra's from the north but, they're acting friendly nonetheless... I wonder if it's because they don't have a prejudice against wizards.")

Rutile: "We're going over to the graveyard right now, would you two like to join us as well?"

Mithra: "I'm not going."

Despite the way he spat out his reply, an expression, different from his usual one, had shown itself on Mithra's face.

CHAPTER 3

Akira: ("Mithra, what happened... That's not like you...") 

Akira: "I appreciate the offer, but I'll have to decline as well. You two should go and enjoy your day with your parents. I'll take my time to look around the South—"

Mithra: <Arthim>

Mithra: "I'll come to pick you up later. Please don't touch anything strange-looking under any circumstances."

Akira: "Whoa, Mithra!?"

Mithra forcefully grabbed my hand and pulled me into the Door of Space, that had suddenly appeared.

(Tycho Lake)

Akira: "...This is...Tycho Lake? Why did you bring us here?"

Mithra: "I wonder why myself. I simply felt like coming."

Akira: "I-I see... This is a place full of Rutile and Mitile's parents' memories, isn't it."

Mithra: "Yeah."

Akira: "... S-speaking of, I've seen a mermaid here before."

Mithra: "Is that so..."

Akira: ("He's so absent-minded... But I wonder why... He looks so lonely...")

Mithra: "....."

(Splash)

Akira: "Wha!? W-what's with you all of a sudden, Mithra! Hold on... I-it's quite de—...!?"

(Screen fades to black)

(Bubble-bubble)

Akira: ("Who knew the lake was this deep... This is bad! I'll drown!")

(Splish-splash)

I felt my body, sinking just moments ago, getting forcefully pulled upward.

The very first thing I saw, was Mithra's evergreen eyes.

Mithra: "What are you doing?"

Akira: "Cough... S-sorry. And thank you. ...Although, I should be the one asking what you were doing. Why did you suddenly dive in like that?"

Mithra: "Well, you said there were mermaids in there, so I thought we could catch some for dinner."

Akira: "Um. Are you sure you can eat...mermaids...?"

Mithra: "They do sound tasty."

Akira: "I-I wonder about that..."

Mithra: ".....Why did you jump in?"

Akira: "Why you ask? Well, probably because... I wanted to help you...?"

Mithra: "Help? You? Me?"

Akira: "Yes..."

Mithra, who blinked in bewilderment, immediately laughed with the innocence of a young boy.

Mithra: "Ahaha. You're the only person in this world who'd ever think about coming to my aid, aren't you?"

Akira: "That's..."

Mithra: "...Oh well, I'm grateful. You're the one who was drowning moments ago, though."

Akira: "Yeah, sorry about that. Thank you for saving me."

Mithra: "That much I can do."

(City of Clouds)

Rutile: "Goodness, you two are completely soaked!"

Mitile: "You're gonna end up catching a cold like this! I'll go fetch you some towels, okay?"

Mithra: "No need, our clothes are going to dry up quickly. More importantly, let's get going if you're done here."

Mitile: "Geez, you're so self-centred...!" 

Akira: ("...As I thought, I don't understand Mithra very well. But, if possible, I'd like to get to know more about him from now on.")

Mithra: "Come now, you're coming with us too. It's going to cause me trouble if I can't keep an eye on you."

The Lake's Fortune // Card Training Story

(Lounge)

Akira: "Is swimming a strong suit of yours, Mithra?"

Mithra: "And what brought this about?"

Akira: "I just thought that you swam very naturally in the Tycho Lake, even though it's so deep your legs don't reach the bottom."

Mithra: "Well, yes, I am skilled at it since I grew up at a lakeshore."

Akira: "The northern lakes are always frozen, so I had the impression that you couldn't swim in them, but apparently you can."

Mithra: "There are times when they aren't. Well, it's only the surface that's frozen. Under that layer, it's just normal water."

Akira: "Brr, sounds so cold... When told 'frozen lake' the only thing that comes to mind is pond smelt fishing."

Mithra: "Pond smelt fishing?"

Akira: "It's a type of small fish from my world. You make a hole on the frozen water's surface and fish through it. Were there edible fish in the lake you used to swim in?"

Mithra: "There was some fish-looking creature that would jump out with great vigour in response to noise, and sometimes it would pierce into my neck."

Akira: "That's quite the aggressive fish! When fried, pond smelts taste really yummy."

Mithra: "... Now I'm craving fish. I'll go over to Tycho Lake to catch some real quick."

Akira: "R-Right now?"

Mithra: "Yes. Are you coming as well?"

Akira: "Yeah, but give me a minute to check what's left for today's schedule—"

Mithra: "No, we are going immediately, <Arthim>."

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.