#okay but why. its not a biological thing. like why do men act like women are destined from birth to not be into cars

[skitskatdacat63]

Jesus christ reading reddit threads about women in formula racing actually makes my blood boil

[burning-thistles-bt]

fuck i mean sure okay i understand maybe but really i’m very sure that if a person is attracted to the same gender and is gay/lesbian you really. cant. w. you cant call yourself a lesbian / a gay man if ur attracted to the opposite gender ,, and keep in mind im lesbian myself so really… I AGREE with you about the certain part where its like they can realize they’re a different gender / sexuality but everything else is a not so much moment , but i realize i cant really change your opinions on things /lh thats just your view on it i suppose , i’m not gonna try and convince otherwise

I totally understand why you believe that as well! By definition, a gay man means "a man attracted to men and not women." That is The Definition and trying to define it as anything else is just undermining the identity. But trying to box in those who identify as gay into One Scenario Only isn't very helpful.

Let's say a gay man dates a non-binary person. They are not a man or woman. Is that okay? Are they still gay? Or are they no longer gay? Do they now have to be bisexual or pansexual?

Some people say they're still gay if the non-binary person appears masculine or was previously a man (see below*). Some people say that's offensive to the non-binary person as they don't identify with masculinity but masculinity is now being forced onto them so that the gay man can remain gay. Whose right?

Now, let's say a gay man becomes attracted to a trans woman. Their appearance is more masculine, whether because they choose to be masculine or because they have not transitioned fully into a more ambiguous or feminine appearance. This is a tricky situation, isn't it? Is the gay man no longer gay because they are technically attracted to a woman---or are they still gay because they were attracted to the masculinity of the woman? And is it okay for the guy to be attracted to the masculinity of a trans woman, or are they transphobic for having those feelings? What's the right answer?

To some, it's easy---he's not gay. Or, he is still gay. To others, like myself, that answer isn't black and white. It depends on the circumstance (is the gay man acting transphobic to the trans woman? is the non-binary person okay with a gay man dating them? is the gay man more attracted to masculine or feminine traits or do the traits not matter? is it more of the "biological" attraction or an emotional attraction?). Not everyone fits into the binary.

I'm not saying that gay men can date a bunch of women and call themselves gay, either. That's not what I'm supporting. I can't emphasize that enough. Hetero men can't genuinely date only women and call themselves "gay" just for queer points. What I'm supporting is the gray area, the rarer occurrences. The "my husband came out as trans and is now my wife. I still love her, but I've never been attracted to women before. What do I do now?" Because Holy Shit, isn't that a hard scenario? You've been confident and happy with your identity for so long, and then suddenly this one thing makes you have to rethink it all. Because here's the facts:

You are attracted to men.

You dated a man.

You married a man.

You love this man.

This man is now a woman but still has the body you love.

They start to transition (if they choose) and their body changes, but you still love them---perhaps the attraction for their body is different, but you still love them. Who they are, how they laugh, how they smile, how they snore, what they stand for, everything.

You are still attracted to other men, and not attracted to women.

You still love your wife.

Are you gay?

This is a scenario where I'm like, yeah, I don't care if you call yourself a gay man still. I understand the implications---other people see a happy man-woman couple and are like, "Uh? What do you mean you're gay, Steve? You have a wife!" And then homophobes point to Steve and Jill and go "Look! That guy says he's gay but he has a wife! You're all just liars and frauds looking for attention!" And that's not very fun for the rest of us who have to defend ourselves from those assholes.

But I don't care about those assholes. I care that Steve and Jill are happy. I care that Steve is okay with who he is and that Jill is okay with who she is.

And then there are the people who say, "But you can't be gay, Steve! You have to be bisexual now! You have to call yourself that, or pansexual, or maybe call yourself demisexual but just for your wife, or have you heard of abrosexual? What about agentosexual? I think that's what you are!" and Steve is just like "I don't know. Can't I just love my wife and that's the end of it? Maybe I'm not gay anymore. I don't know." And these people aren't ill-intentioned. They feel they're just trying to help, or trying to "correct" things. But there isn't always a correct answer, and the more you try to force one, the further away the "correct" answer gets.

Some articles I think are worth a read that go into more on the topic are these:

*‘What happens when you’re in a gay relationship and your partner comes out as non-binary?’ "This experience has highlighted to me more than ever that sexuality and gender exist on a spectrum; they are fluid and ever-changing. Despite my partner being non-binary, I still feel that I identify as a gay man. I still consider myself attracted to masculinity and my partner acknowledges that they are still predominantly male-presenting and have no intention of changing this, I still respect their gender identity and will continue to do so."

‘I wanted to be supportive but I was terrified of losing her’: what happens when your partner comes out as trans? "I didn’t fall in love with a gender, I fell in love with a person," is by far my favorite quote. Though, be warned, the second interviewee is Definitely Transphobic and I don't like them, but the first and third interviews are so sweet, I love them 🥺. But really this whole article is great to really get a wide perspective on how people react to their partners transitioning. "Any couple, whether or not they stay together, is changed by the experience of transitioning," is also a great end note.

What My Partner's Transition Meant For My Sexuality "It became very clear to me that being a lesbian married to a man was in fact not the actual problem. My problem was I could only see in black and white, yes and no. I had entwined my ego, my sense of self, with my lesbian identity. A lesbian shall not be married to a man. A lesbian shall not enjoy sex with a man......I lean on that inspiration when I'm asked, "So, what does his transition mean for you? Are you straight now?" I just answer, "I'm in love.""

Just in general, there's so many ways humans react to this kind of complicated stuff. Some people have a realization of sexuality---they realize that they were always X sexuality, or that they are okay with being X sexuality. Others find themselves able to "adjust" and love their partner(s) regardless of gender, even if the attraction is muddled.

Something I'd also like to mention is that there are fair points on both sides of this argument. I am not solely and utterly right on this topic. There are things that I concede could be my own bias---for one, I've never experienced romantic/sexual attraction myself, so what could I really know about allo experiences?---but I try to research topics before I fling myself into anything. I can see the logic and the reasoning on both sides. And also the other in-between sides. I don't think there's an absolutely right or wrong for this scenario---not right now. Not with how culture and society is right now. But this is the side that I stand with the firmest ground on.

[chaoticbritishqueen]

Things I've overheard in my 3rd year if uni:

"You got confused by the concept of a bus ticket...Londoners are weird."

"wait?! you boil your fucking chicken?!"

"I'm going to casually hate crime everyone this evening. It's okay when a gay guy does it right? It's almost charming" "it is as long as you're not being racist."

"are we saying the same thing?" "Don't worry, we're both as deaf as eachother." "Wait no, I'm actually deaf." "Holyshit i'm so sorry."

"You look energised!" "I'm not energised. It's just the nervous energy coursing through my veins."

"Wait you want to fucking hang me?!"

"no more bones for you!" "I am not a womennn" "NO MORE BONES FOR YOU!!"

"Mr blue?! why not Mrs blue?! Why not Mx blue?! WHY ARE WE GENDERING THE VAPES?!"

"what took you so long?" "I fell on my arse" "What?" "An old guy told me to go home" "Ew gross"

"Most heat escapes through our heads, that's why we have hair." "What about me? I have no hair." "Sucks to be you I guess?"

"shein Paul Mitchell tried to get me to give him a lift home and called me georgouus.... what the actual fuck."

"Freshers flu left me feeling sad with a sore throat." "Me after Saturday night's." "MATE! NO!"

"Is anyone an female woman?"

"Disabilities preventing you from being a simp."

"The problem with being a trans women, is that I love thigh high socks, so everytime I wear them I give myself an errection." "That's one way to turn yourself on tbf."

"Google maps says its 12 minutes, but I'm gay, so it will take me 8 right?" "Add headphones and it will take 5."

"I didn't have a minor panic attack when writing my review."

"The doctors took my asthma inhaler from me because I kept using it to placebo myself out of panic attacks!" "Wait, like that one scene in teen wolf?!" "Not so bullshit I found out..."

"The review is due in 11 hours and here I am playing god of war... I definitely am doing good right now everyone!"

"Mens existence ruining my outfit decisions"

"Discriminating against those with confused immune systems. Don't sit on the peanut table motherfuckers."

"I'm Mexican, I know how to survive in the wild!"

"the bottle is on your side tonight!"

"That's kinda gay, not gonna lie." "I am gay?"

"I don't love my sister enough to buy her paper chase wrapping paper. A kidney? Sure! Spending more than 1 quid on wrapping paper? Hell fucking NO!"

"You're 26?! You said you were 18?!" "I wanted to see if you'd belive me." "WHY WOULD I QUESTION YOUR AGE?! THATS FUCKIMG CREEPY" "i thought'd it be funny" "HOW IS IT FUNNY?!"

"I'll bring in a knife... and toilet roll?"

"I HAVE WATER IN MY BRAIN THANKS TO YOU!!!"

"This new year we will be preying for her nipples."

"I wanted an orgy!" "What?" "NOT WITH YOU GUYS. Obviously." "I was about to say..." "Yeah you know he's gay right?"

"STOP BURNING THE MARSHMELLOW! ITS BLACK THAT'S WRONG!" "HEY! what's wrong with black?!" "YEAH! Black is beautiful!" "NOT ON A MARSHMELLOW!!"

"I am the most British person here! Obviously." "Babe, not even your white half is British."

"My Unlce is half Jamaican." "Wait what?!" "It's quite obvious I'm not the Jamaican side of the family..."

"I had to explain to my sister she's not a quater Asian... Somehow noone told her about our biological grandma despite the fact she's named after her..."

"DOCTORS STOLE MY EAR BONES!!!"

"I have to stop eating gherkins when my heart starts beating really fast!" "Are you okay?"

"okay but why does that face give me 'moisurise me' vibes?!" "Thats what apartheid-era inbreeding does to a mf"

"Imagine actually talking to a bus driver, I pretend they don't exist and walk off." "What the actual FUCK is wrong with you you cunt. YOU SAY THANK YOU TO THE BUS DRIVERS, YOU WALNUT!"

"You've got like a bubblegum rock aesthetic going on." "Is that an insult?" "NO! it's cool!"

"No offense to either of you, but you both just gave me the gay gudgement face."

"I think gravity is acting on you and your boobs separately" "I mean issac Newton was a virgin when he discovered gravity."

"HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW MY TIT WOULD CAUSE A BREAKUP"

"I have been resting my head on your lap for quite some time now, you don't have any boobs." "My dude, that's called a binder."

"allow me to tube my feet on the tesco floor."

"You felt my ribcage!" "It was certainly a bonding experience"

"My hand smells like it would taste so good." "Please don't eat your hand."

"FUCK THE WHITES! They have no rights." "Xbox or people?"

"I am real straight women""Yes of course you love that man sausage." "Okay, but why did that sentance physically pain me."

"Congrats, you got a new highscore in the ace test."

"I have the eyebrows in the relationship."

"I got flash banged by a whipped cream can on the weekend!" "What the fuck?!"

"FUCK APPLEJACK!" "WHY WOULD YOU FUCK APPLEJACK?!?!?!" "NOT LIKE THAT!!"

"DON'T CAPRI SUN THE BABY!"

"Mc pickle pasta"

"I’m getting silly freaky weird tonight"

"YOU CENSORED YOUR TOES?!"Those are private." "Got to pay for those, do i?" "Yes, £5 per toe. " "Im good, respect the hussle. " "You'd get friends and family discount, Pinkie toes free with the whole set."

"Everyone is naked and dancing in your kitchen... this qualifies as a good party."

"Get back to your lesbian sex party."

"THAT LOOKS IILEGAL! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"does an earthquake mean the world is jerking off with no pay off?"

"today is the rise of the tampon king. everyone rejoice."

"All my ex gave me was an STI scare and commitment issues."

"Lesbians all know eachother!" "Hello. I am a lesbian and you do not know me. Nice to meet you!"

"I will send you a titty pic when you finish your exam." "now I'm motivated mommy."

"I will be slayed and not in the gay way."

"Day one of guessing what time you come out of the shower." "Fail. I'm fully clothed."

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

(You don't have to post)

"If enforcing gender norms requires a constant state of surveillance and censorship then they probably aren’t as biological or innate as you think they are"

What exactly does this mean?

I know the Church has certain ideals of behavior for men and for women (I know these ideals are not "immutable", and the Church acknowledges variation, and its ideals of masculinity and femininity are at least in theory deeper than shallow cultural expectations, which quite honestly do trouble me sometimes) and how relevant is that?

I am not the most "masculine" man and we both have scrupulosity issues and sometimes I get to overthinking about all this

Basically, I see it like this:

So much of what we view as an immutable feature of a certain gender isn’t… anything to do with God or our faith. It’s just an imposed cultural norm, and those change over time. Like the idea that girls are naturally drawn to skirts and makeup and need to wear them to be feminine is not anything to do with living our faith or glorifying God. It’s just something our culture views as feminine. Same thing with the whole “men don’t feel anything but angry”; that’s not true, and in many instances, that can be really harmful to men when they try and achieve that ideal.

If you have to bend over backwards to explain why this particular gender norm is 100% biblical and necessary actually, it’s probably… not. That big of a deal. Personally, I find it much more important to glorify God with your life as His child, rather than focusing on whether you’re performing masculinity or femininity enough. If you pray and listen to God, you’ll know He’s calling you to do.

Certainly, in the Catholic Church, there are distinct roles that only men or only women are able to perform. Nuns, for example, are female, and priests and monks are male. If God is calling you to Holy Orders, by all means, pursue this calling! But don’t freak out about looking or acting masculine enough. Live your life in God’s footsteps, and the rest will follow. I find that my best expressions of femininity are when I follow the example of the saints who’ve come before me, rather than what I wear or how much I fit the stereotypical “ideal woman”.

Pray about it, okay? You’re gonna be okay. And if you’re ever seriously unsure, you can always ask a spiritual director, priest, or other faithful person in your life that you trust. But simply approaching each day with the goal to reflect God’s love to others, I believe, is a great start.

[babybabymerrychristmas]

i think the reason i dont care about defining manhood or womanhood is because it feels inherently sexist to me. like to define these concepts in an objective manner is to imply that there exists traits out there that are exclusive only to the Y chromosome or X chromosome and that's just false.

Like, it's just not true. there is nothing truly masculine or feminine in this world and once you truly accept that men and women are equal human beings who only differ in the genitals we have it just all feels so completely pointless to sit there and argue about what makes a woman or what makes a man because no matter where u land on that conversation, at the end of the day, all you have done is define sex.

there is no name, no personality trait, no amount of body hair or body structures that is inherently masculine to the exclusion of femininity and you simply cannot ever define man or woman in a way that isn't exclusionary if you are looking for a set of biological characteristics you can search for to verify "correct" social behavior of an individual. like any definition you come up with will be exclusionary to some person out there who would be called cisgender.

and so when conservatives and terfs sit there and whine about how trans people are destroying the sanctity of gender, it all just seems so sexist to me. "a woman is an adult human female" okay what does female mean? not to be all intersex people exist but like they do. its impossible to define female without being intersexist (is that the word for it i forget i think it is but oh well) and so like for that reason alone, it doesnt work.

but even if it did, so the fuck what?

are you saying people born with penises cannot get a boob job? why? are you saying there are only certain outfits you're allowed to wear if you have certain genitals? are you saying there are certain names you're allowed to call yourself?

like okay, you've defined woman/man. Now what? Are you going to check the pants of everyone who looks like a woman to make sure they can wear that dress? what about cis but masculine looking women? is that not the definition of sexist harrassment?

you've defined womanhood, now what are you going to do with that definition? how are you going to enforce your personal definition of a word onto every single human being on earth.... without being fascistic or terrorizing about it??????

you literally cannot do jackshit with your "correct" definition of womanhood because at the end of the day, people are going to wear and call and act how ever the fuck they want and unless ur seriously purposing underwear checks for everyone, there is no feasible way to exterminate genderqueer behavior.

because your definition of womanhood/manhood is so restrictive, it becomes freedom in a way. Either way, you have to admit that your name/pronouns/dress/body hair amount/deepness of your voice/facial structure/height/hip to waist ratio/the existence of breasts is not apart of your definition of womanhood/manhood and if that's the case, your BEST case scenario is you define woman/man the way you want to and then have to let women and men do whatever the fuck they want anyways because there is no such thing as masc/femme names or body hair or temperament etc etc.

and so unless ur seriously purposing that we perform underwear checks to verify that people dressed in dresses have the right genitals to be wearing it, then you winning the "define woman" argument does nothing to get rid of genderqueer behavior.

if ur not purposing underwear checks to enforce this definition of genders, then how else are you gunna verify that samantha over there was born with a pussy? defining womanhood as must have pussy at birth does nothing to prevent "men from wearing dresses" actually lol.

you'd have to enforce that definition somehow and your only two options or genital checks or defining gender by things that have nothing to do with gender (name, voice pitch, dress, hair distribution patterns etc) and thats why nobody gives a fuck that the definition of womanhood is circular.

thats the only way it can be without society dissolving into actual fascism to uphold gender yall get that right.

[dakotadawn]

what you fail to understand is that no matter what radfems and terfs tell you, out in the real world, people aren’t just attracted to others based on what chromosome they have. sexuality is a nuanced and implacable thing for a lot of people. many people! including many people who identify as lesbians, and gay men. if you’ve ever been or lived in a big city with a large LGBT scene — New York, Chicago, LA, San Fran, London, Edinburgh, Brighton, Manchester, Liverpool, Paris — you will find that many (though admittedly, not all) of the people there just… accept trans people as our identified gender. Especially in the LGBT scene, the punk scene, the metal scene, the emo scene, the goth scene, the standup comedy scene, the skateboarding scene, the graffiti scene — anything radical and counterculture. You’ll find that, no matter what terfs tell you, “lesbian” and “gay” are not scientific concepts, they are cultural ones. They are not dictionary definitions, they are labels people choose from based on what fits them best. There is not an innate compass within us pointing to either an X or a Y chromosome; our understandings of ourselves are defined by an amalgam of our experiences, our biological predilections (which yes, often play an enormous part in this) and our intangible sense of self. This is why zoologists don’t define animals as gay or straight; rather they write of “same sex sexual behaviour” because, of course, a chimp or a dog or a penguin has no notion of what a lesbian or a bisexual is. It’s the same reason historians often recommend sorting far past historical figures into modern day understandings of sexuality — while Plato would probably understand himself today to be a gay man, the cultural ideas of sexuality and gender in ancient Greece didn’t work on the same metric or understanding as ours; not because they were wrong, not because they hadn’t “discovered�� sexual orientation yet, but because their cultural ideals and norms were different to ours, much like they still are in other places in the world, in other cultures. As recently as the 60s bisexual women were considered wholly to be lesbians, by the lesbian community. Not because they didn’t understand themselves, but because the word meant something different then! It was used in a different way. Words and concepts are not immutable, our experiences define language, not the other way around.

I never denied that sexuality is more complicated than genetic makeup. I wouldn't be attracted to a passing postoperative MtF transsexual because she appears, in all senses, to be a female. I am not magically drawn to her XY chromosomes. I will accept other trans people socially as their identity, I'd be hypocritical to not, and thus socially I will treat a trans man as a dude. However, I wouldn't date someone who has a vagina.

Yes, I am shocked as to how much people accept and validate this whole trans thing in reality. I went in expecting that the majority of mankind would see me as a delusional freak. However, I think social acceptance is one thing. Most people will respect me as a human being, but don't want to sleep with me, because they do not find a body like mine attractive. That's okay. I'll find somebody someday. There are actually plenty of guys who have a thing for this so I'm sure I can find someone.

I'm not saying anyone's individual experience of sexuality is not real, but trans activists need to stop demanding lesbians sleep with trans women and gay men sleep with trans men, its nasty homophobic incel behavior. If we want respect, we must also respect others, and that includes respecting their boundaries. It is not transphobic for a straight man or a lesbian to refuse to date a trans woman, because they aren't attracted to biological males, and that's *fine*. Cotton ceiling rhetoric is absolutely disgusting and I will not change my mind on that matter.

Also, don't act like all radical feminism is is the trans debate, there's more to it than that. My core radfem beliefs are anti-porn and sex trade abolition, as I think those are two of the biggest problems and setbacks to women's rights that libfem ideology has created.

[demonkidpliz]

Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 19/many):

Kansa’s death scene is A+, 10/10. 

Boy Krishna literally looks like Devaki!

I know where else I have seen Boy Krishna! He plays Pradyumna in Radhakrishna!

Arjun, Bhim and Drupad have no chill and I am here for this rage. Let’s keep this going until the war starts.

It is very sad that in Kalyug a woman has to fend for her own honour when ideally it should be a joint effort by men and women.

The only appropriate reaction to a man attempting to dishonour your wife was shown by Krishna and by Ram before him = decapitation. I will not be hearing arguments against this at this time.

We should not be resorting to war. WELL YOU AND YOUR NEPHEWS SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE THAT GAME OF DICE KAKASHRI VIDUR.

I am here for this Panchali. What did you decide? What did Madhav have to say?

Panchali is against the peace proposal and honestly I am on her side.

Panchali is 100% right. The decision to fight or not is Panchali’s. Not the Pandavas. Because for every action and reaction of men, it is the women and their children who suffer. She is 100/100 right.

At least she has Krishna on her side who has absolutely no qualms in pretending anything other than the fact that he really badly wants this war. This is literally what he was put on earth to do.

In the actual story, Duryodhan offers to put Krishna up in Dushasan’s palace which was allegedly bigger and better than the main palace. And Krishna declines because he wishes to stay in Vidur’s palace but StarBharat fails to show why. It’s because Krishna’s aunt, Kunti, lives with Vidur and I think it is the most natural thing in the world that he would want to stay with his aunt rather than with these random cousins by marriage.

I am sorry sweetie (Krishna) there is no dharm ka phool in Angaraj Karna’s heart. He's a social climber.

Aye hai laddoo Gopal really be here turning all this karela into laddoos.

Nice that they gave some screen time to Vidur’s wife. Now they need to do this 200x with all the female characters.

Krishna is…right? Yudhishthir should have been crowned Yuvraj the moment Pandu died and the Pandavas came to Hastinapur. Dhritarashtra was a placeholder king and his son cannot inherit this throne. It is a different matter altogether that Dhritarashtra was the rightful king and that they should have never crowned Pandu as king. 

Krishna coming at the Kauravas with one banger after another. Their behaviour towards Draupadi cannot be forgiven. And not just Duryodhan, every man in that Sabha was culpable.

Is Duryodhan really going to bind Krishna with those big ass fake looking gold chains? This seems like a bad idea.

Krishna is asking for five villages for the five Pandavas. But Duryodhan has nothing if not his principles.

Karna is sooo annoying. Oh my god, we get it. You would give your life for your rich pals.

At least Bhishma, Vidur and Dronacharya are showing some good sense now. Long overdue.

Oho! Even Dhritarashtra has the good sense to agree to this five village business.

Lol, I can’t wait for Duryodhan to try and imprison Krishna.

I’m also waiting for the needle’s head worth of land line. Will StarBharat oblige?

StarBharat has obliged! Duryodhan will not concede a needle’s worth of land.

Krishna looks...mildly discomfited.

Arrest this cowherd LMAAOOO 

The big ass fake looking gold chains are here.

The soldiers can’t even get up, let alone pick up the chains. How underwhelming.

Is StarBharat also going to show me the wondrous scene where Dhritarashtra temporarily gets his vision? Coz that would be cool.

Oh finally someone (Karna) has the sense to say that this is not how one behaves with a peace messenger.

Chal, gwale! I am ded 🤣

What happened to the Vishwaroop scene in the middle of the Hastinapur court??

Very attracted right now to moustached Krishna dressed like a guard.

Calm down, think of Jesus.

Is Krishna also dressed like Vikarna and Karna?

Accha, Drona also.

And Pitamaha.

This is fun! 

Mamashri Shakuni 😂

Kakashri Vidur. I could do this forever.

SRJ looks amazing as all these characters. Even Dhritarashtra.

Where did Krishna transport them? On the banks of the Ganga? Dwarka? 

Did Krishna strike Duryodhan’s thigh?

YAAAAS

Dhritarashtra can see the Vishwaroop! 

Apparently, after this, Krishna gave him the option of retaining his sight. And Dhritarashtra said that after having seen the Vishwaroop to see other sights on earth was simply not worth it. 

Should’ve kept his sight for the war but he has his satellite dish Sanjay.

Okay Krishna has left. This was anticlimactic.

Oh cool, Krishna is going to play the Kunti card.

I simply love Kunti’s character and every scene with Krishna and Kunti in the same frame is simply golden.

Kunti’s entire personality is so on brand with the no chill Yadav mood.

Please do not for one second pretend that you altruistically care about the child you abandoned at birth. You’re doing this to save the skins of the five sons you actually give a damn about.

At least Radha is slightly more realistic about Karna than Kunti is.

Radha and Vrushali are like, how do you know this, Vaasudev? Vaasudev (probably): I drink and I know things.

Nothing will astonish me as much as my progression in life going from a Karna Stan to an absolute Karna Skeptic.

Karna is a social climber. That is all I have to say on this topic.

The only thing admirable about Karna’s character is his loyalty towards Duryodhan.

Also, where is this conversation between Krishna and Karna taking place? On the banks of the Ganga? Yamuna? The sea beach at Dwarka?

Where is the big speech Krishna gives to Karna? Where he promised that Draupadi will marry him (HA, AS IF) and that Yudishthira will crown him King of Hastinapur (that fool might just) if he fights on behalf of the Pandavas.

Are all Radhas this terrible? Are they all hell bent on stealing for themselves things that do not belong to them? Why won’t this awful woman own up to the fact that she’s not Karna’s biological mom?

Okay Karna is back on the banks of this mysterious water body.

I will have you all know that Karna may be suddenly having feels for Kunti, but was totally okay to sacrifice her during the Varnavat episode.

Oh goddamn it, Starbharat! 

Hitting me right in the feels when I least expect it.

Karna thinking back to all the times he was with Arjun, not knowing that they were brothers.

I’m not going to lie. Karna is in an impossible spot. Damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.

Now I am remembering why child me Stanned Karna so much.

I may not like Karna but at least I respect him for supporting Duryodhan.

I can’t wait for Queen of Resting Bitch Face, Kunti, to come and beg for her sons’ lives from Karna, when she literally does not give a damn if Karna lives or dies. Kunti knows which side her bread is buttered. Such a Yadav.

Oh this Karna-Vrushali scene is A+, 10/10. I really wish StarBharat gave more screen time to its women.

Okay I feel bad for Kunti also, mostly because I love Kunti. 

But let us not pretend that given a choice between her Parth and this veritable stranger, she will always always choose Arjun.

She had to do this for Kuntibhoj, her poor father, who loved her so much, who couldn’t have children and all he ever wanted was a child of his own, so much so that he begged Shoorsena to give him one of his daughters.

I think what’s worse is that Kunti knew. Right from the beginning. And she stayed quiet. That was not right. 

StarBharat really be here trying to make me feel for Karna again. Smh.

How tf will Karna be a Pandava? When Kunti wasn’t even mf married to Pandu when she gave birth to Karna?

Karna talking about Duryodhana while the Dharmecha shlok plays in the background. Chills.

I have a story called The tree stump on Karna, in case you are interested. 

Yeah Kunti f*cked up here. I support Karna. He is nothing but a prisoner of birth. 

Pretty big of Karna to ask Kunti not to tell his brothers. Uncharacteristic of a social climber. He’s not a bad soul, I guess. 

I don’t know if it’s Kunti’s dialogue or her acting or the background score but I am tearing up. No assholes here.

Kunti might as well cry because if Karna refuses to call her Mata until Arjun dies, she’s never going to hear it from him. Coz he will be dead.

It’s okay, Kunti, you can relax. You got what you came here for (ish).

[transmascjfk]

i'm,, trans and hc chihiro to be a male..

i'm sorry, but i don't quite understand how that's transphobic. could you please explain how chihiro is transmisogynistic? (sorry if i come off as rude - that's not my intention and i genuinely just don't understand, though i would like to!!)

What is transmisoginy?

"Transmisogyny is a distinct category of transphobia in that transmisogyny mainly focuses on trans women and other transgender individuals who demonstrate femininity, whereas transphobia is a more general term, covering a broader spectrum of prejudice and discrimination towards transsexual and transgender individuals. Julia Serano states in Whipping Girl that "when the majority of jokes made at the expense of trans people center on 'men wearing dresses' or 'men who want their penises cut off' that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny. When the majority of violence and sexual assaults committed against trans people is directed at trans women, that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny." "

Chihiro is written to mock trans women, to say that in reality trans women are secretly men, she is a man who is weak and uses being trans as a way to escape her problems, this is a thing that is also said to trans men a lot, that theyre just trying to avoid the hard parts of being a woman by becoming a man. Even if the writters intended it to be like that or not (which they probably did because transphobia is a big thing that happens a lot, obviously) it's still transmisogynistic. Thats that on that

This is a pretty common transphobic trope actually, the "Turns out this one character was actually from the opposite sex??!!", theres more examples of this in other games outside Danganronpa.

But also her experience is pretty different from other examples, her experiences are way too similar with trans womens experiences.

This is mostly for the cis people who call her a crossdresser and refuse to change their mind, on it, sit down.

Written by a trans man.

Don't tell me whats transphobic and what it's not transphobic if you're cis. Just sit down and read.

Tw: transphobia, transmisoginy, death mentions and blood in the pictures.

The game implies a lot of stuff with her dialogue, it doesn't straight up says "I don't want to be a woman anymore, I'm a man" like everyone claims it does.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I'm going to get stronger...and accept who I am... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Strong enough so that when someone says "even thought you're a boy" I'll be okay. I'll get better! ]

[ Alt text 3:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I wrapped myself in lies. I'm weak. I want to destroy that version of me forever! ]

[ Alt text 4:

Chihiro Fujisaki: ... I want to change. ]

[ Alt text 5:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I have to change. I don't want to be weak anymore ]

She goes to Mondo not because hes masculine, but because she admires him and his strength. She never once says it's because shes a man or because Mondo is a man.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Maybe talking to Mondo about it will help give me some courage... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I admire... your strength... ]

These dialogues can be read in two ways, the first one being the one the game tries the hardest to put in your head thats shes a man, all of this guessed by other people btw not what she herself says. Which is really transphobic, because she was written as a trans woman and then theyre like "uh no actually hes a man, because he was born as one but hes a coward so he started to dress as a woman to hide from his problems. Because thats what people do right? People who dress as their oppossite gender are so pathetic, specially men amiright? Ahaha"

Reading it in this way really weird, you're doing a lot of mental gymnastics because you would literally call her a trans woman with all of this if the rest of the trial, that consists of cis people assuming shes a man, didn't happen. And sadly you're following transphobic ideas by this. Because the canon is transphobic and transmysoginistic.

And the other way is just read what she says, that she just wants to be stronger and stop lying to everyone, basically about being cis, because shes not, shes amab (assigned male at birth) and thats probably what she said to Mondo, but most people when a trans person who already passes or is in their transition comes out many people tend to think "oh so youre your gender assigned at birth and not the one you claim to be?", because they don't get what being trans is and they think only "biological gender" is a thing. Basically, misgendering and invalidating the trans person.

I can guess all of this just because of how vague they decided to make her dialogue, not even showing how she tells Mondo about being amab.

What did she said to Mondo? "I'm trans"? "I'm a man"? "I was born a man"? We dont know, because they didn't show it and she died right afterwards and then everyone was like "Chihiro was secretly a man" to solve the case and thats it. A lot of people in the discourse get their information from Monokuma who isn't either Chihiro or even Mondo. Monokuma knows many things but he can't read minds to know if she was really trans or not, only she could say it but she died so she couldn't explain if shes trans or not.

[ Alt text:

A youtube comment by Gail Frisbee, posted 4 days ago, this comment was edited by the autor. The comment says:

"It's honestly increible to me when people try to argue that a scene in which a female-presenting character gets their genitals groped and then is posthumously referred to as a male from that point on can't be transphobic just because that character calls themselves a boy in some other side content later. It's on about the same level of intellectual honesty as claiming that Quiet from MGS5 isn't really fanservice because she totally breaths throught her skin you guys.

As it turns out, if you really dig down deep into the lore, Chihiro is a fictional character and the same people who wrote the genital investigation scene also wrote the lines that character says in the game as well. It's a shocking twist, I know." ]

Her fears of being outed and people founding out her secret (being trans) or being transphobic is used as a gross big twist. A trans woman being used as a mockery of trans people? Great totally normal (/sarcasm)

Read this post made by a trans woman. I'll be using this only part but it's still a great read.

[ Alt text:

So. There is a lot to unpack here, but I want to start with something that specifically hurts me as a trans woman, and that's how the game flippantly uses real world horrors trans people face as shocking reveals and twists. You can go down the list for "worst nightmares" of trans people incluiding:

Threatening to be outed against your wishes

Outing yourself to a trusted friend and being met with rejection, or worse, violence

Having your body and privacy examined and invaded

Having your deadname used and being misgendered after death, when you can't correct them ]

Now, let's go to her backstory for a bit. I will be using the wiki for this. (Which sadly uses he/him for her 💔)

" When Chihiro was a child, he became the subject of harassment and bullying. He was always told to "be a man" and that he was "so weak despite being a boy", and because of that, Chihiro slowly but surely began to develop a "weakness complex". In order to escape the bullying, Chihiro began to dress as a girl so that people wouldn't bully him as a weak boy. "

This doesn't sound like a normal crossdresser, this sounds like a trans woman who was bullied for being different when she was younger, like many trans people, and then she decided to transition because she's a woman, she wanted to be more feminine and stop being seen as a person shes not. Specially after so many people tell her to basically man up when she doesn't want that, because shes not a man.

Have you ever heard of the classic stories of "since I was little i knew i was different, i was a boy who liked playing with dolls and was more feminine than the rest" or "i used to be a tomboy when i was little, i had mostly male friends, i liked playing with car toys and was more masculine than other kids" coming from trans people? This just sounds as these types of stories to me.

People also like to say that alter ego uses he/him pronouns and says shes a boy. Many trans people can misgender themselves for personal reasons too guys, she could've been trying to misgender herself because she didn't felt like she wasn't enough to be a real woman, this happens a lot to trans people. If people constantly tell you that you're not actually transgender or you just feel like you're faking it then you might actually believe it, thats were most "detransitioners" come from. And thats basically what they made her, a detransitioner.

Some of you might also don't get how shes trans because you think she doesn't perfect or exact trans stereotypes. Trans experiences can be similar on the feeling of not fitting in, dysphoria, etc. But trans experiences, stories, transitions and complete lifes can be very different, because we all (including cis people) live different lifes, experience, process and cope with things differently. So i can understand why you might not get her being trans coded at first, don't worry. But try instead of just not caring because you don't get it at the first try, to see what trans people say.

This whole discourse its mostly cis people talking over trans people about their own experiences (incluiding the dead trans coded characters experience) saying if theyre valid or not and denying stuff not wanting to learn anything, completely refusing to it because "In canon hes a boy" ok then in canon shes written in a transphobic way too but most of you don't care about that. You would rather call her a crossdresser than try to acknowledge how obviously trans coded she is and how thats used as transphobia.

The way most cis people act in this discourse is very transphobic to me to be honest, if you think you're a good ally but act like this then you should get more educated on the topic as a whole and about trans people too.

-the trans Chihiro flag to finish this up, she has a bit boobie! good for her! good for her.

[freyfall]

Hey sorry to bother, but i don't thing I've really seen any sexism in the fandom? I might have just missed it, but would you be willing to elaborate on it a bit? You don't have to if you don't wanna

CHOKES

I’ll elaborate under a cut because a lot of the sexism I see is rooted in the ns/fw side of the fandom. I’ll be talking explicitly so don’t click if you’re not prepared for a conversation about sex and ectoplasmic genital shit. Also... it’s long.

God, where do I even start? This post covers a lot of the base issues with the fandom, though most of what OP said had to do with queerphobia. The issue with writers and magic genitalia in the fandom boils down to the fact that so often - so often - I click on a fic to read and heteronormativity slaps me in the face. One dominant (male-identifying) partner with male genitalia, one submissive (male-identifying) partner with female genitalia. And okay, I get it, some couples are like that. It’s not bad to write something like that as long as it doesn’t rely on sexism or queerphobia to explain away the choices. But then it’s... every fic. Every. Fic. I click on. 

Actually, I’ll give you some numbers! I’m going to look at the UTMV kinktober fics I’m keeping up with and see what kind of ratios there are. I won’t name them out of politeness, but here we go. Out of 4 Kinktober 2020 series on A03 with, so far, 23 or 24 chapters each, here’s how the gender and sex of the characters play out:

In terms of biological sex, the majority were male/female* with two partners, making up almost half of the fics read (42 out of 94). Out of said fics, 35 had a dominant** male and submissive female dynamic, 4 had a dominant female and submissive male dynamic, and 3 were unclear or there was no such dynamic. Only one out of the 42 fics had the female character identify as a woman. (Furthermore, she was genderbent.) 

The runner-up was the ‘other’ category, which encompassed the following: no genitals present, only one set of genitals present, odd genitalia (such as tentacles), or unspecified. This category made up 26 out of the 94 fics. Of the 26, 20 of them fell into the ‘one set of genitals’ category, with 14 male and 6 female. The male fics were split evenly between dominant and submissive males, and the females were all written as submissive. 

None of the other categories were nearly as popular, with the next one down the line only having 9 fics out of the 94. This category was male/male with two partners. The next one, male/male/female with three partners, had 8. Of the 8 fics, all of them had dominant male and submissive female dynamics.

The female/female with two partners category only had 3. Only one of the three fics portrayed a lesbian relationship where both characters identified as women. 

The other categories were as follows: m/m/m with three partners, m/m/m/f with four partners, m/m/m/m with four partners, m/m/f/f with four partners, m/m/m/m/f with five partners, and m/m/m/f/f with five partners. These categories only had 1 fic each. Each and every fic with a female partner had the female partners playing submissive roles.

It’s important to note that out of the entire roster of fics, there were 3 women. One of them was a genderbent character in a m/f fic, and the other two were in a lesbian f/f fic. Why the lack of women? Why constantly portray those with female genitals as men?

Going back to the post I linked at the very beginning, I do want to cover my bases - I understand that male characters with biologically female genitals and sex characteristics can be a hugely needed source of rep for transgender people, especially those who are transmasculine. As a transmasculine person myself, it’s important to me that male characters with female bodies exist. Having a casual environment where men can have whatever genitals they want is, in theory, rather progressive. However, three things:

Never in all my time in this fandom have I ever seen one of these characters stated explicitly as transgender. None of the fics in the study above did, either. 

In the UTMV, when writing skeletons with magical genitals, having male or female genitalia is seen as a choice. It erases the need for transgender characters. It erases transgender narratives that deal with transition, discomfort, coming out, and dysphoria. If you can pick whatever kind of body you want, why would there be a need for being trans? There’s no easy way to determine a ‘male’ or ‘female’ skeleton, erasing the concept of gender assigned at birth and erasing the struggles that trans people may face.

None of the characters have bodies that might align more closely with transgender folks who medically transition. No top surgery scars, no bottom growth. No breast tissue growth on male bodies, nothing. Of course, why would that exist in the first place? Magic erases the need to portray bodies with quote-on-quote ‘imperfections.’ None of the bodies portrayed even step a toe out of the cisgender box - such as perhaps portraying female genitals with a flat chest or male genitals with breasts. None of that was found in the study, and I don’t recall fics like that outside of the study, either.

So clearly, most if not all authors are not attempting to portray any sort of transgender character when writing them this way - which begs the question, why write men with female bodies? 

While I was taking these statistics, I had a conversation with my partner in which they said something that applies here:

“[Every AU character] being Sans is a problem on its own, but when you have the power to make whatever character a woman, how you approach that says a lot. What people do is that they give a male character female parts and it’s only for sexual purposes. So like, the entire existence of [the female body] in the UTMV serves only for sex and that’s just kind of not good.”

Keeping this quote in mind, the short answer to the question I posed above is this: sexism. In this fandom, the female body, femininity, and being a woman in and of itself is objectified, hyper-sexualized, and exoticized... in that order, respectively. I’m not just using these as buzzwords, I promise you.

The female body is objectified. The same as the quote above, female bodies aren’t seen as something that someone will just have in a non-sexual context. After reading 94 smutfics, their treatment of the female body tends to start looking the same. The female body is for sex. That’s it. Giving or showing a character with breasts, even clothed, is seen as the display of a sexual object, even though breasts are visible on (cis) women in everyday scenarios. In sexual scenarios, the female body is never portrayed realistically, either. Female arousal and preparing the female body for sex - compared to its counterpart, the male body - is wildly unrealistic. Yes, this is porn, and there’s bound to be realism issues, but in comparison, female sexuality is much more unrealistic.

Femininity is sexualized. Characters act feminine for sexual appeal... and only for sexual appeal. Because a character acts feminine, they’re more sexually appealing to their partner. Feminine clothing, such as dresses or skirts, are seen as sexual. 

Being a woman, in and of itself, is exoticized. This isn’t even a staunchly NSFW issue. I’ve been asked if my male characters, explicitly stated to be bisexual, would have sex with a woman. My partner has received asks about ‘what would happen if (insert male character here) met a woman.’ Genderbends of male characters into female characters are seen as cringy, childish, or fanservicey by default. Women aren’t treated as a normal occurrence. When genderbends do happen and people like them, it’s often in a sexual way. “She’s so hot/sexy.” “Step on me, queen.” 

It most likely doesn’t help that all of the popular AU characters in the fandom are men. It creates an environment where women are scarce and hardly represented, leading to unnatural assumptions about them.

I’m not sure how to close this off, so... TLDR; women are normal people. Stop exoticizing them. Stop objectifying the female body. Don’t use trans/queer characters as a scapegoat for your sexism. 

Sincerely, a bigender lesbian who’s sick and tired of all this.

-

*‘Male’ and ‘female’ are used to refer to biological sex. When I talk about gender, I will say men and women.

**When I say dominant, I mean ‘in control’ of the sexual situation. This was determined by considering factors such as written personality, physical position, and how they behaved. Vice versa for submissive. I don’t intend to use these terms as an equivalent to what they mean in BDSM language, though several of the fics attempted to or did portray BDSM relationships. I also do not mean these terms to be equivalent to ‘top’ or ‘bottom’. 

[flashfuture]

Follow up questions because I’m a Nerd and I love learning: is there any evidence to suggest frequent inclusion of women in Scandinavian warfare? Or is finding something like women’s armor rare? Was there a standard definition of any queer terminology in any ancient civilization? Did any Norse culture ever find its way to the Middle East???

I feel a bit like an over eager student writing this but uh...I’m very curious. 👀👀

When talking about women in Scandinavia you run into people describing how it appeared these women would take on the role of men in the absence of men. But I think there is an issue in that we’re assuming the role of women in these societies would match the role of an Ancient Greek woman (which is a whole other thing but I digress)

They’ve found that some of the founding fathers of Iceland were women, thirteen of them to be exact. women could inherit land and money from their parents. Women could be involved in legal matters and hold official positions. 

There is lots of evidence that women were very frequently going raiding. They have been debating recently I believe if the term dregnr a young warrior really was only applied to men. Young women were described in the same vulgar terms as dominators and something we discuss in ancient Rome was the ideal of male “hardness” basically just being the top dog in the room. Women were the same in Ancient cultures if not expected to hold themselves differently but Skalds (the poets) describe the women just like the men. 

Another thing quite recently (1993 so really recent in terms of historical archives) is the idea of the surrogate son. Basically, if a man died with no son to inherit a surrogate son would be chosen over a daughter. It has recently been noted that they very well could have been describing the daughter as a surrogate son. Someone to take up that male role of head of the household. This suggests in the sagas we have noted women but there is also a possibility for women to be described with male traditional words because of the role they were playing. 

And we have found tons of armor that looks ceremonially and some battle worn for women yep. All women could fight though it was excepted they could defend themselves and their home front. Against potential attackers and wild animals. 

Plus in the 13th century, the Christians introduced the Law of Gulathing which were sets of rules for people to follow. Women were then banned from cutting their hair like men, dressing like men, or in general behaving like men. This suggests It was common enough for them to throw it in the laws that banned traditional things that Scandinavians did that did not fit the Christian narrative or way of life. 

-- This is gonna go under the cut for the rest cause wow I got long lol. 

Okay queer terminology. You’ll see lesbian which was women who fucks women. and you’ll see penetrator a lot. These were slave cultures also so the idea of sleeping with another citizen was defiling them you shouldn’t do it.

In Ancient Athens, you saw men preferred the company of men over women because they didn’t think women were of value they were only good for producing heirs. There was a thing called pederasty where a wealthy man in his 20s, the erastes, would court a young wealthy man from the ages of 13-19, the eromenos, and teach him and keep him as a lover. Their debate over Achillies and Patroclus for example wasn’t if they were sleeping together but who was fucking who really. Because Patroclus was older but Achillies was the hero so was he being emasculated or were they breaking the age rule? That was their debate cause these things mattered to them 

They were kinda the exception to the citizenship rule. The Spartans felt the pederastry was weird because it involved citizens but they were all in with the homo. Obviously, this was all very public and you’d be scorned if they thought you were being penetrated.  

All in all, being penetrated was something women and slaves did and the last thing you wanted to be was a woman.  

Another thing to consider was these cultures had a lot of problems with excess. So too much sex or food and in Rome you were a uh Cnidus? Idk I can only spell it in Greek which is staggeringly unhelpful but basically, you can’t control your urges. Based off that time someone tried to fuck a statue I think or something like that

The Norse had a similar word ergi which meant you had too much heterosexual sex actually, you were too promiscuous. In the 12th century we know in Iceland homosexual acts like sodomy were banned under Christian canon (Thanks Richard I of England) so there is that. Pre-Christian influence there seemed to be no stigma around this minus don’t force yourself on your friends that’s rude but slaves were fair game. (I wrote a paper on the weird stereotypes of Vikings being the sexual aggressors when the literature of the time suggests the Lotharingians were way way more likely to commit those acts. At least according to French who were besieged constantly by everyone all the time.)

níð was an insult for the ancient norse which basically you had displayed unmanliness. Or you liked to take it up the ass to be plain about it. (Ancient people were vulgar as shit the Romans were obsessed with sexual threats to the point where its just in common day-to-day speech.) Ragr was a term that meant you were unmanly which is much more severe and you could like legally kill someone for saying that up till the 13th century. 

There is actually some debate that the concept of unmanly comes from making fun of the Germans. So like if you were Ancient Germanic or Ancient Brittania you were the savages of the day. Which is interesting when you consider the rhetoric those two countries put out. Like literally no one like the Germans or the Brits they thought they were filthy uncivilized and cowardly people. 

Also fun from the 7th to 10th century in Norse culture there were these figurines called gold foil couples. In it a couple would be portrayed which was a way of proclaiming themselves married before the gods. It was a very religious practice for them. There are figurines depicting people of the same sex in the gold foil figurines. 

Basically, we can thank Christianity for why we think the Vikings didn’t do homosexuality or homosexual acts. Because well they didn’t want them to starting in the 12th century again thanks Richard for having the worst break up with your boyfriend in the history of break ups. 

And onto gender which if you know Loki from Marvel him being genderfluid is based entirely on mythology and is common in Norse writings. Okay so essentially we think of seiðr or magic as something women do. And they did too. But men did practice it. This was seen as a third gender in Norse culture, the seiðmaðr a man who practices magic. Hence Loki moving between the three as he’s a known magic-user. There was also this concept of gender mixing, biological men buried in traditionally female clothing. But there is no way for us to know if that is this third gender or potentially they were more excepting of what we would call transgender. 

Because most of the writings we have come from the 13th century where Christianity really took over and just started making shit up. Like we have evidence they were trying to cover up things about Norse culture they didn’t like. So men who practiced seiðr were actually ergi and not a different gender, just an unmanly male. 

So yeah lol these were acts they did so verbs can be found really easily. But we have mostly Icelandic stuff cause Christians they did fucked up shit 

--

And the Vikings in the Middle East. They went all over. We have this assumption they were raiding whenever they went. Actually, the thing is they only raided northern Europe because they rightfully assumed those guys couldn’t fight back. 

But they had trading agreements easily with the Greeks, Persians, and Abbassids mostly. There is a woman from Sweden who was buried with a ring that was inscribed with “For/To Allah”

The Arabs had the term Rusiyyah to describe the Vikings because they came so often. They noted that the Rusiyyah were not good at practicing hygiene but also describe their bodies as being “in perfect form” They liked a good ripped viking and I can appreciate that. They were like “they’re filthy but damn are those rusiyyah built” 

Baghdad had the first real market place and they had paper from China so they were printing stuff into books which the Vikings found very interesting. There was so much international trade but the British and Germans who we mostly hear from now were so technologically unadvanced there was no way they could have participated with these other older cultures. 

There is money found sometimes that was certainly viking in nature. They didn’t really have money like the Arabs at the time preferring to trade in goods. So they offered furs and silks along with weapons and slaves. 

And it is possible that there was culture exchange as all cultures were being exchanged back then. We know some vikings converted to Islam as Arab writers commented that they missed pork dearly but were committed to the Path of Islam. 

The Slavs or Rus (Russians) of the time were also annoyed with these viking raiders because their shit would get stolen and then sold to Arabia where they’d have to buy it back usually. 

So yeah lots of trading going on. And many Vikings like I mentioned worked as bodyguards or mercenaries. We don’t know much of what the Vikings thought except that the writers in Arab noted they were very polite to their hosts if not aggressive with each other in a playful manner. 

Lol you really let my nerd pop off here. I’d have to do more research into the Norse effect on the Middle East though cause I only know about the other way around off the top of my head here. 

[princeescaluswords]

Black-and-White Whatever

Peter: Oh, come on. How much damage can they do? So they off a few homeless people, a drunk stumbling out of a bar too late. So what? Let Scott deal with it. Let him be the hero of his morally black and white world. The real survivors, you and I, we live in shades of gray. Then again, even if you did kill them, you're still an Alpha. You can always make more werewolves.

Just to remind you that in this scene in Fireflies (3x03), Peter Hale says this while his nephew is trying to corral his beta, Boyd, and his sister, Cora, who have been driven moon-mad by the Alpha Pack.  Peter suggests killing them, which is what Deucalion wants to happen, or letting Boyd and Cora, out of their minds, kill any innocent people they come across.

And yet, his criticism of Scott has echoed across the fandom for years.  Peter’s self-serving appeal to Derek has become the fundamental attack against Scott McCall’s character arc.  (And it is self-serving.  Notice in the above passage how it turns out to be a subtle defense of Peter killing innocent people along with the guilty in season one and how he justifies it as survival.)  

And it is just as racist as the themes of Stiles is Always Right and Derek Deserves Nice Things, because all three of them are about the same thing: the entitlement of good-looking white males and the necessity of minority characters knowing their place.  

Peter’s argument, as Peter’s argument almost always are, was designed to get him what he wants as much as they are dishonest and insincere.  The audience knows, if they paid attention to the show at all, that Scott doesn’t devolve into black-and-white thinking.   I mean, would someone who refuses to cross the line into ‘shades of gray’ do the following things?

plan to kill Peter to cure his lycanthropy.

rescue Derek after Derek betrayed him to Peter and tried to kill Jackson

work with Derek after Derek abused him in Ice Pick (2x03)

deceive Derek by joining his pack

deceive Gerard by feeding him scant information (”You haven’t been answering your phone”) and poisoning him

try to reach an accord with a mass murdering cult leader like Deucalion

agree to join Deucalion’s pack to save his and Stiles’s parents

call on Peter to help Stiles during his possession

conspire with Chris Argent against his own father

conspire with Deucalion to stop Theo from getting the Beast’s powers

ask Peter for help and endure his annoying and pedantic lectures

try to reach an accord with Gerard and Monroe

Any one of those actions puts the lie to the idea that Scott won’t cross his own arbitrary moral boundaries.  I’m sure you can think of others, but Scott eschews black-and-white thinking throughout the show when it is necessary to save lives.   It’s actually one of Scott’s strengths in the story -- his ability to put other’s lives above his own wants and needs, including his desire not to have the power and responsibility thrust on him.

Then where does this criticism come from and why is it racist?  Because its always used to defend white male characters and argue that the story should be theirs.

They see this fallacy in Scott refusing to condone Peter’s killing spree in Season 1 or fighting against Derek’s recruitment of child soldiers and kill-them-first thinking in Season 2 or believing that Stiles would be capable of murder in Season 5.  White men have the privilege to ignore morality when it suits them, and so if Scott considers himself better than Peter, it is unforgivable.  White men should be in charge, so when he resists Peter’s and Derek’s attempts to compel and control him, it is stubornness or obsession.  That he opposes Derek’s attempt to murder his way out of the mess he created in Season 2 must be stupidity.  That Scott could possibly (and finally) think he can hold Stiles accountable for his behavior in Season 5 is tyranny.

Look at it this way -- very few people in the fandom (except me) hold it against Derek that he tried to murder Lydia, because he believed that she was the murderous kanima.   It would have been the slaughter of an innocent girl performed by other children at Derek’s orders, but he was doing it for the greater good.   Yet, when Scott tells Stiles to go talk to his dad, the chief law-enforcement officer in the city, about the manslaughter that Scott thinks Stiles performed, it’s ... well, you know fandom’s reaction.   Who, to them, is entitled to think in terms of moral necessity?   Not the Latino.

And, to be sure, it’s not just this minority character.   It’s perfectly okay when the Sheriff is willing to risk exposing the supernatural world for his shifting dedication to the law.   It’s perfectly okay for Stiles to despise Peter for the entire show and decide if Malia gets to know the identity of her biological father.   Yet it’s not okay for Alan Deaton to act according to his own concept of right and wrong and his own code of behavior.  It’s not okay for Mason to hold what Theo did against him.

Women, too, get it in the end.  Compare how the fandom treats Derek, Peter, Argent, and Theo compared to how they treat Jennifer, Monroe, Allison, and Meredith.  Black-and-white thinking -- the reduction of people to good or bad with no empathy for necessity, trauma, or history -- is rightfully considered a bad thing, but fandom’s more than willing to use it to dismiss a character like Braeden because she’s a mercenary as they are to infantilize Isaac because he’s a hot white dude.  Isaac was willing to kill Lydia because she turned him down for a date but ... he’s baby.

This black-and-white-world criticism isn’t really being applied as a sincere criticism of Scott.  It’s echoing a single solitary quote from Peter, a character whose very nature is repeatedly described as unreliable and manipulative, in order to undercut Scott’s position as hero protagonist.   

BUT IT’S NOT RACISM.

[sheena-isa-punkrocker]

Errementari: Sartael/Demons HCs

yoooooooooooo i’m 3 yrs late to this movie but im obsessed and lets do thiiiis~

these are hcs i made about sartael and all other demons in this movie

firstly, the amount of demons in hell are as innumerable as the amount of human souls are in there 

since hell is divided into categories (think dante’s inferno) this means that there are different demons for each punishment 

there are also more..... bureaucratic parts of hell (its a vast place) and there are demons for those jobs too

tbh all the demons know each other

they’ve spent centuries in hell since the dawn of time, everyone knows everyone let the gossip commence

there’s also a hierarchy of demons

like low level demons are basically the run of the mill ones that go out and tempt ppl by making deals but also the ones who execute the punishments 

sartael is a low level demon lol

the bigger demons like alastor are the higher ranking demons, they usually are in a position to tell lower demons what to do and carry out orders from the big man downstairs 

there’s more than one way to enter hell than through the fiery gates and yes some of them u can enter and leave without consequence

now lets get into the demons that tempt humans

to demons, humans have their own scent. one demon can smell a small village from miles away

if a demon spends time with a human, they learn that human’s individual scent

although demons are immortal they CAN feel pain like anyone else

most injuries don’t last long though and heal quickly

however some are permanent (i.e. sartael’s broken horn poor bb)

burns are the fastest to heal tho

since they basically live in the fiery pits of hell, burns are like nothing to them

demons can shapeshift obv since they are supposed to trick humans

however they are not supposed to reveal their true identity until the last moment when they are taking the human’s soul to hell

blessed bells hurt their ears considerably, we know this from the movie

to them it’s a horrible screeching sound that they hear

can’t step foot in a church due to it being holy grounds

blessed items in general make their skin sting 

they have an aversion to images of christ or anything holy related

it’s hard to explain... it doesn’t hurt them necessarily but they have an extreme dislike of it like a biological hate

if you had to label them, on the whole demons are pansexual (can have preferences tho!)

since they are demons, they tend to look down on humans since they are a different species and they don’t understand why they are so fickle about orientation

since its their job to tempt humans, they are not above sleeping with same sex when they are in their human form

they are also confused by women being seen as weaker than men and patriarchy as a whole in many human societies

demons have seen so many human souls, male and female, young and old do horrible things that they don’t consider one gender weaker or stronger than the other, everyone’s shitty

 demons have an innate inclination for causing suffering to humans

this can range from little mischievous antics to the upmost cruel acts

its just within their nature

however they are also capable of experiencing emotions such as love, sadness, anguish, etc

 so yes they can experience real relationships if they want to however who has the time when ur supposed to tempt souls all day?

who wants to befriend a human anyway??

there are some demons who have fled hell to stay in the human world, this is against protocol and other demons are sent to bring them back eventually

okay so that was more about demons than sartael specifically BUT i will be making MORE hcs in the future for this movie stay tuned~

also let me know if u want any specific hcs???

[ardenttheories]

The bulge-nook standard is fanon; in HS proper "nook" seems to mean "ass", not vag, if anything, "bone bulge" only seems to be used as profanity rather than legit discussion of body parts, and there is no implication of tentacles of any sort. That aside, let's assume trolls do have dimorphism which would make transition meaningful; why would they be allowed to? Why would breaking that part of your assigned birth role be even semi-okay when caste roles are enforced by torture and death?

I responded to the nook/bulge thing already - though I’ll just mention this here again: 

Hussie absolutely sucked at using any of these words in any way that wasn’t insulting/joking, and also failed at using them coherently (sometimes referring to nook as interchangeable with ass or as its own thing, and even using bone bulge in one instance to mean skull). It’s clear that there’s something there, but that Hussie never thought it through beyond what he was implying - so naturally fanon came in and cleared it all up because Hussie had an entire canon he could do things with and then just did not. I think there is reason for the prehensile dick thing, but I don’t specifically remember what - and admittedly I don’t want to search through the entirety of Homestuck to figure out whether or not trolls implied they have wiggly dicks. I already did that once to figure out how frog breeding worked. It was not fun.

Onto the part about sexual dimorphism - honestly, the only way that I can finangle it is that trolls care more about castes than about gender? That gender has so little influence on their actual society compared to the strict division between blood that you can quite easily get away with transitioning pretty much no questions asked - especially since even Sollux, a lowblood, was able to transition without issue. 

If it wasn’t for Sollux, I’d probably say that it’s something only highbloods can get away with, and that they can only do so because HIC isn’t there to impose her strict rule - but then, surely highbloods would use a transitioning lowblood to enact their violence upon if it was really that much of a strict rule in their society? Why would Sollux be able to get away with the act of transitioning when even Eridan faces transphobia from his lusus for identifying as nonbinary?

This is part of the problem that comes with writing what was clearly set up to be a species without sexual dimorphism, but without making it entirely clear or deadset; there’s just things that don’t make sense even when you DO put it into a sexually dimorphised content. Alternia just isn’t built around a care for gender or for assigned sex. Its entire focus is on blood; it’s what they use to suppress lowbloods, and it’s what they use to create a natural order of things. 

Like, what importance does assigned sex have on Alternia? Well, as far as we can tell, next to nothing; though HIC is the woman in power, it’s never suggested that there’s an inherent matriarchy; it’s a fuchsiarchy. It’s because she’s fuchsia, not a woman, that makes her ruler. All of her closest in power have been men; GHB, the leader of an entire religion, and Dualscar, one of the top Orphaners in the world. So it’s not even as if we can suggest that only women can attain power on Alternia, because the truth is that they’re just as likely as the men to be stuck in specific positions based on their blood.

In terms of physical strength, too, there’s more of a bloodcaste divide than a male-female divide. Vriska outright states that highbloods are made of “stronger stuff” than lowbloods - that they can take more damage before they go down - and Equius’ physical strength, though considered a mutation, isn’t inherently because he’s male, since we know that Sollux, Tavros, and Karkat are weaker than even Gamzee. We’ve also seen Kanaya exhibit incredible feats of strength, though again, that’s not because she’s female so much as because she’s a rainbowdrinker. 

There’s not even an inherent divide on the basis of jobs; female rustbloods are just as likely to be sweeping floors as male rustbloods. And this doesn’t even go into the fact that we’ve seen nonbinary trolls in Friendsim who never really mention gendered issues - which is incredibly easy to forget, honestly - both highblood and lowblood. Like, even under Trizza’s reign - which is MUCH more brutal than Feferi’s - there’s no discrimination based on gender identity. 

So what exactly is the issue with being trans on Alternia? The fact of the matter is... there isn’t one. Everything we see of them points to bloodcaste being the biggest societal issue and the biggest biological factor used to suppress Alternians, not gender - and we’ve seen time and time again that gender identity isn’t really questioned on Alternia, either. So, even if the trolls were sexually dimorphised and could transition, they wouldn’t face anything like the experiences and transphobia humans do; it’s just not an inherent factor of their society. Hell, it might actively confuse them more than anything else. But this is completely disregarding that everything above points to a society that would put more emphasis on a gender structure based around the class system - something I’m going to go into on another post. 

Again, it’s one of those things where you can just tell that it’s a cis man’s take on society, because he genuinely couldn’t think of how society would work without a gendered structure. Well, now he’s got a gendered structure on something that doesn’t need one, and trying to figure out how trans issues have any impact on that society is almost impossible to rationalise without eventually realising that the society very likely would not care. 

[werevulvi]

I kinda just wanted to make a rant, to lay out why I feel so iffy about trans women and hopefully get a better understanding of my own feelings and what the fuck is brewing under that surface. There has to be a reason. This post is analytical drivel, not a debate, but by all means, feel free to respond or otherwise talk to me about this. Let's take it from the beginning and then go from there.

Part 1 Detransition:

So, I began detransitioning roughly 2 years ago. That's where my feelings about the trans community as a whole began to shift, and with that my feelings about trans women. At that time, I was still active in a truscum group and came out as detrans there, after having been known and looked up to as a trans man there for over a year. At first I was accepted, but when I started having doubts about wanting to get rid of my beard, and felt like I wanted to embrace my body hair and deep voice... people there started acting like shit towards me. They told me that my biological sex still being female did not matter, that I was essentially a man and had to detrans medically to be considered a woman again. That hurt badly.

Shortly after that, I was also told that because I was medically transitioned, trans women were "more female" than me. That was like the last drop that made the goblet pour over. Fuming, I started saying that I'm more of a woman than trans women can ever be, even if I keep a full beard, because they'll never be truly biologically female, no matter how much surgery they got. I was hurting by their cruel words, so I stuck it where it would hurt them the same. (I’ve always an “eye for an eye” sorta person.) That's when people started telling me that I hate trans women, but I felt like that was a misunderstanding. That I was just acting out, out of sadness, grief, anger, panic, and having my gender denied for the sake of validating trans women's genders.

But were they right?

Part 2 Gender critical thought:

Over time, I got exceedingly gender critical and fell into radblr. I also read/watched content that "exposed" transgenderism as a scam, most of which was articles and youtube videos from conservative right wing people, and Christians. I had joined an fb group for detransitioners, and the creator, a "born again" Christian detrans man, happily shared all the many sources he had on how transgender was all a scam from the start of its movement. I felt somewhat sick consuming those links, but probably equally intrigued. But at the same time, I kept a foot in the trans community, starving for attention, even though I was never good enough for them anymore, unless I lied and said I'm not a woman. What a sick twist of fate, I felt.

Part 3a Sexuality, from a lesbian view:

Sometime around that, I struggled with my sexuality and after a lot on inner search, I came to the conclusion I was a lesbian. I felt as though I was only attracted to the same sex as myself, including trans men, but felt nothing worth praising towards males, including trans women. That led to yet another rabbit hole that I tumbled down into. I became convinced that majority of trans women were lesbophobic predators, and I had some shit luck on dating apps. Most people who approached me there were gnc males; transvestites and trans women. I almost went on a date with a good-looking trans woman whom I had mistaken for female, because I felt guilty for having lost attraction to her the moment she told me she's trans and post-op. Luckily she canceled our date for unrelated reasons. I felt like because she was attractive to me before I knew she's trans, but felt completely uninterested in her after the fact, I couldn't possibly be attracted to trans women.

Part 3b Sexuality, from a bisexual view:

That, of course, is not necessarily a bad thing. But I kept asking myself why. Especially since I realised my error in my sexuality calculations, and upon correction discovered I'm actually bisexual after all. I still find women and transitioned females attractive, and in addition to that also men in general, and some vaguely transitioned males. Except from trans women. That odd little inconvenience stood out as a sore thumb which I couldn't stop scratching. Why? I kept asking myself. Why not trans women?

My question dug deeper than just to attraction. I don't think I feel iffy about trans women because I'm not attracted to them. I think it's the other way around.

I never had to convince myself to be attracted to trans men. I discovered early on in my own transition that some other trans men were really hot. That was it. I later on dated a trans man whom I was head over heals in love with. That confirmed it. I've been questioning my attraction to standard men and women far more than I ever questioned my attraction to trans men. It was that obvious, that clear. However, when it comes to trans women I was always the complete opposite. That no matter how I twisted and turned it, I only ever felt revulsion at the thought of being sexual or romantic with a trans woman. No matter how well or badly they passed, no matter how aesthetically pleasing or how charming their personalities.

I wanna clarify that I'm not at all forcing myself to be into trans women. I'm just trying to understand why, so that I'll no longer feel bad about my lack of attraction to them. Because I cannot accept things which I do not understand.

Part 3c Sexuality, digging for answers:

At first I thought, maybe I'm just not all that attracted to femininity. It's not like I typically get super into hyper-feminine natal women either, and fake tits and faces with a ton of plastic surgery has always made me queezy. No, I seem to have a strong preference for masculinity in partners, regardless if they're butches, other masc bi women, trans men or kinda standard masc natal men. So then it just kinda makes sense that trans women, whom are often hyper-feminine, just don't fit that image. Except... that one trans woman I almost went on a date with... she looked like a butch. I mistook her for a natal woman partly because she had short hair, no makeup and wore what looked like men's clothing, but I could see she had hips and tits, and her face looked naturally female. But I still wasn't into her, because she's trans.

Then I thought... okay, that one checks out, but maybe I'm just creeped out neo-vaginas? Yeah, that must be it! I'm almost equally creeped out by neo-penises too, but most trans men don't get bottom surgery anyway, so it hasn't been much on my mind. But then I thought: okay, but what about trans women who choose to not get bottom surgery then? I am attracted to dick. Nope, still uneasy at that thought. I started comparing men who are just very feminine, to trans women, and noticed yeah I don't actually feel half as iffy about men who are just feminine. A man in a dress and makeup can actually be very hot, to me. And I've always preferred long hair on men. But I prefer them still looking clearly male underneath that, although I don't mind a few androgynous features here and there. But I’m only into it if they don’t act like their affinity for femininity makes them women or non-binary, or if they’re feminine in a way that mocks or sexualises womanhood. So I’m not into tacky transvestites in over-sexualised lingerie. At least try to be tactful and elegant, please. So, it’s not male femininity per se that puts me off. If there’s any femininity I’m actually into, it’s male femininity. Because gender non-conformity is attractive to me. And I love the idea of being a strong female protector and girlboss of a gentle, delicate, feminine man. At least I like fantasising about that. (But enough about my daydreams.)

Part 4a Womanhood, biology and identity:

Somewhere after having gotten that far in my digging, I started getting close to finding my sore spot: trans women's view on womanhood.

As for myself, my own view of womanhood is completely detached from femininity. I'm just like... I can even have a full beard and bass voice, a flat and hairy chest, and still be a woman. Because I'm simply bio female. Trans women tend to very often think that they need to "pass" and with that comes a certain look: high voice, no facial hair, no body hair, big breasts, curvy hips, etc. All of which are features that I'm dysphoric about having on my own body, but admire in other natal women. But on trans women, it's like I feel uncomfortable about those kinda features on them. Like to me being a woman is just dealing with having developed that way, or not dealing with having developed that way. Where as for them it seems to be actually striving for developing that way, and I guess that causes my brain to short circuit. Cannot comprehend.

Part 4b Womanhood, fragility and validation:

My womanhood is kinda fragile. I admit that. I'm quite insecure as a woman, because of my transition and masculinity. I feel like most of my womanhood has been lost, which although I'm fine with, I still grieve. I grieve it because I was a bit of an idiot when I first transitioned and had not yet processed my trauma - not because I regret looking like a man. It's complicated, but basically... I feel as though my womanhood is hanging by a thread, which is my genitals, reproductive system and chromosomes; all of which are either mostly hidden or always invisible.

I'm often met with disbelief and disagreement. People either saying "You're not a woman because you can't possibly be female. You look too male." or "You're not a woman because you medically transitioned. You having a uterus is not enough to make you a woman." and it gets to me. And then there are trans women... some of whom do not even need to put on a wig to be instantly validated as women by just identifying as such. Others thinking that because I look like a man, they refuse to think of me as a woman. And that... pisses me off.

There have been a few trans women who in some utterly failed attempt at being supportive of me have said I'm like a nonbinary person who is half male and half female. That's not a lot better, but thanks for trying... I guess.

Part 4c Womanhood, dysphoria and misogyny:

I think that might be what gets to me about trans women. All of it. This entire list of things. That some of them are lesbophobic predators and have absurd claims of what being female is, that others mock womanhood, and yet others view themselves as somehow more female than I am. The genital factor and the slight creepiness of plastic surgery. Their view of womanhood as an identity and my view of it as a biological sex. I keep ending up in fights with trans women about these sorta things. I can't keep a lid on my frustrations no matter how hard I try to just see them as people with dysphoria and opinions that are different from mine. I cannot find any fucking solidarity between myself, as a dysphoric natal woman, and trans women. I feel like they're making mockery of my sex, my dysphoria and my struggles with misogyny, as well as making me feel like shit about something that I love about my body: my transition. I have no common grounds with them, and whenever they try to find solidarity in stuff like misogyny, I feel like they don't even know what the fuck they're talking about. I have a huge bone to pick with them, on multiple levels, and I don't even know where to start or where it ends.

Part 4d Womanhood, jealousy:

But a lot of it comes from jealousy. And I think it's mutual. I'm jealous of their ability to access female only spaces despite being male, which I cannot access despite being female. I'm jealous of their ability to be accepted as women. And on the other side, I think they're jealous of my reproductive ability, and my female socialisation, which I'm not like super hyped about myself, although I do love my pussy (she gives me great orgasms.) I'm jealous of their ability to claim womanhood without even trying to pass as female, because people are quicker to accept the woman-gender-identity than the woman-bio-sex. But likewise, ironically, I sense that they're jealous of that I can claim the "woman lane" despite looking convincingly male, because I'll always be biologically female, no matter how insible my sex is.

They cannot see me as a woman, because of my transition, without looking at themselves as men, no matter how far they transition. And I cannot see them as women, no matter how far they transition, without labeling myself as a man, because of my own transition. I think that about nails it.

Part 5 Conclusions:

I don't think it's true hatred, but rather insecurities both from myself and from them. Because we cannot both exist as women under the same ideology. One of us has to be considered a man, and neither of us is willing to fold on that. Ultimately... I am a threat to their womanhood, as much as they are a threat to my womanhood. And that tension is so thick... not even a knife could cut it. I guess the sad thing is though, that I think that tension is unnecessary. I am so unlike trans women that we could potentially bond based on how different we are. Because there is a lot of similarity in those differences, if you really think about it.

But no, I do not wish them harm in any way. Despite the vast array of insults I sometimes hurl their way. That is really just in response to them insulting me. I do not think they're doing anything wrong by transitioning, or even necessarily by identifying as women. I think, if they had just been more like "I can see you as a woman despite having transitioned, because deep down you like being female and having a pussy... kinda like I'm a woman because I wanna have a pussy, despite having been born male" I would have been much quicker to embrace them. Because that, I could get behind; but they can't.

So, there is no solidarity. It remains an endless fight. But I feel like it's not just on my part. I have tried. I do try. But they're not willing to meet me halfway, and that makes me go to attack in self-defense, which makes then go to attack in self-defense.

[ichayalovesyou]

My last Lyrical Fanfic was Pon Farr (An Amok Time Tribute) check it out Here.

Shame & Shores To Walk On:

Ship: Spirk (Spock/Kirk)

Episode: The Naked Time

Premise: Poorly timed soul baring, mutual and intense pining, angst, and very messy confessions brought on by sickness and a life or death situation.

I Am Sorry (Act One): Starts with Ugh, Spock having an emotional breakdown in the briefing room.

Bad Taste (Act Two): Starts with I Don’t Know What To Do With My Hands, Spock struggles to confess his feelings for Jim.

Better Off (Act Three): Starts with These Streets, Jim laments his love/hate relationship with the Enterprise and longs for a relationship, something real, something permanent.

The Risk Untaken (Act Four): Starts with After All, what was seen cannot be unseen, done undone, said unsaid, time warp or no time warp. Jim & Spock have seen things in one another that neither was ready to show, the question is what do they do about it?

Full fanfic below!

~Act One: I Am Sorry~

Ugh~by The Warning, from Queen Of The Murder Scene (Album) “I am in control of my emotions”

Spock is having a full blown panic attack, he’s enraged, embarrassed! He hasn’t had one since he was a child! What could have possibly brought this on? Was it the accidental meld with Christi- the disease. He cannot be seen like this! But, the Captain needs him. Spock is horrified to discover that he needs him too. Where had this need come from? Why did it insist on tightening his throat and setting his hands trembling? He cannot be seen like this!

“There’s so much more to this than that, suppress those feelings bite them back.”

The Sailor Song~by Autoheart, from Punch (Album) “I am an officer, an officer!”

Spock is absolutely irate with himself, this was horribly unprofessional, horribly Human. He is a starfleet officer and his Captain needs him, they’re all in grave danger and all he can do is sob?! And shudder?! The Vulcan in him wanted to run, hide, desperately. The Human half, more than anything else, wanted to seek Jim out. Neither could be satisfied, so here he would remain, and hope he would be found. Not just by anyone, but, by Jim…

Pathetic.

“Your overbearing best friend, hoping, for some attention.”

Love Love Love~by Of Monsters & Men, from My Head Is An Animal (Album) “My duty- my duty is to- too late. Too late. I’m sorry.”

The shaking, the tears refused to stop, no Vulcan meditation or mathematical litany could get them to cease. Spock was suddenly overwhelmed with the pointlessness of it all. The effort to stop it, the effort to fight both halves of himself. He did not have the strength to fight the needing, wanting for James Kirk. The Captain, who did not have time for a First Officer who was now unfit for duty by his own carelessness. No, it was better that he was alone, he had failed.

“And those bright blue eyes, can only meet mine from across a room filled with people that are less important than you.”

Lazy Eye~by Silversun Pickups, from Carnavas (Album) “Where have you be-?! What happened?”

To say Captain Kirk was shocked to find his First Officer in such emotionally compromised straits would be a woeful understatement. Spock barely recognized that he’d arrived, whatever Jim was saying, it didn’t matter, not yet, perhaps never. There was a silver lining to this, madness, brought on by the disease, it was that Spock was free. He could speak his mind, his heart- If he could get these words out, then maybe the freedom would be permanent. He had to tell him.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment, all my life. But it’s not quite right.”

~Act Two: Bad Taste~

I Don’t Know What To Do With My Hands~by Minor Alps, from Get There (album) “Living on a planet where love, emotion, was in bad taste.”

Precision and coherence had left him with the carefully cultivated logic Spock so prized. He had been flung so violently against his human half in this moment, normally enduring a constant fight to come to the surface, was now running amuck. He felt like a freak of nature, he was, a freak of nature. But that didn’t matter, so long as he could talk to the Captain, Jim deserved to understand. Understand what has prevented him from speaking his heart all this time. If only he could reach him. Then everything else could matter.

“May be some kind of monster, maybe I just don’t know how to reach out, reach out.”

The Moon Will Sing~by The Crane Wives, from Coyote Stories (Album) “I respected my father, our customs, I was ashamed of my earth blood.”

Spock felt his resentment claw at his throat. The blow reminded him of childhood bullies. His father, though he’d never struck him, but wasn’t much better; Cold, seeking weakness, seeking emotions, that forbidden humanity. Why did he feel as though something had been kept from him? What had been stolen and could it be found again? This madness let him see it, but he could not touch it. Whatever it was, he wanted to give it to Jim, why couldn’t he understand?

“My heart knew the weight, ten years worth of dust and neglect, we made our peace with weariness and let it be.”

Runs In The Family~by Amanda Palmer, from Who Killed Amanda Palmer? (Album) “Jim.. When I feel friendship for you I’m ashamed!”

Spock quickly found his resentment mingle with rage. Why did his parents insist upon his being born of two worlds?! Could they not have afforded him the blessing of being from only one? There was no logic in being shamed for biological differences by his peers! It was illogical to feel shame over it! Why couldn’t Jim see what he was trying to tell him? Why wasn’t he listening?!

He grabbed Jim’s hand, perhaps they could both be certain then.

“We tend to bruise easily, bad in the blood, I’m telling you ‘cause I just want you to know me, know me and my family”

The One~by The Warning, from Queen of The Murder Scene (Album) “Understand Jim? I’ve spent a whole lifetime, learning to hide my feelings.”

Could the Captain really understand? He was Human after all, and there was no doubt Spock’s feelings, grotesque or not, were undeniably Human. Spock needed an explanation, he needed words, he needed them so that they could be given back. All he could receive from the Captain were feelings, feelings between to shouts that could not yet matter. The emotions that radiated from his touch were as painful and confusing as his own. More so than the feeble strikes that accompanied them.

“Can you explain to me what’s this feeling? Love it or hate it it’s never leaving. Want to believe, that you feel it too.”

~Act Three: Better Off~

These Streets~by Bastille, from All This Bad Blood (Album) “I’ve got it, the disease… Love. You’re better off without it and I’m better off without mine!”

This new, vulnerable Spock, Jim was ashamed to admit, scared him. And not just because he smacked him clear across the table! If Spock was trying to say what he thought he was, he couldn’t afford it! He couldn’t allow it, he wished he were more like Spock, able to just block the feelings bubbling up within him. Everyone he’s ever loved has left or gotten hurt, he couldn’t let that happen to Spock. The only thing that could not leave him was this ship, and he could not afford to lose her!

“These streets are yours you can keep them, in my mind it’s like you haunt them, and passing through I think I see you, in the shapes of other women.”

Various Storms & Saints~by Florence + The Machine, from How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (Album) “You’re allowed to notice her, a captain’s not permitted-“ “Jim.”

Jim found himself thinking of Janice, he couldn’t touch her, not after what his other half had done. Besides, he shouldn’t, he didn’t deserve it- and Spock… He wanted him too, but the ship needs him more, it needed them both more. It hurt so much all the sudden, it was like he was drowning, anchored to the bottom of the ocean, if he could reach the surface for a moment- what made Spock think they could be together?! Have anything at all?!

“I know you’re bleeding but you’ll be okay, hold on to your heart you’ll keep it safe, hold on to your heart don’t give it away.”

Crimson Queen~by The Warning, from Queen of The Murder Scene (Album) “A beach to walk on, a few days no braid on my shoulder”

If they could just get out of this place, live to fight another day, then, maybe! But… even if the ocean would be gone and the anchor would still be there, there’s nowhere to go. Why did this scare him more than the immediate danger? More than any other feelings he’s felt for someone else? Was it just the disease… or something more?

“I know love shows in mysterious ways, still my screaming makes no sound, just silence at the roundabout.”

Hearts A Mess~by Gotye, from Like Drawing Blood (Album) “…no beach to walk on.”

“Sinner repent?” Ha, that much was true, it seemed to James Kirk that these, whatever these feelings were, were his repentance. He couldn’t reach out, couldn’t speak, and Jim didn’t want to, couldn’t afford to. The blood was still there, it could be wiped away. The ache? He could live with it for now, he’d live with it forever if he had to. As long as Spo- the Enterprise and its crew were safe.

“Your hearts a mess, you won’t admit to it, it makes no sense, but I’m desperate to connect, and you can’t live like this.”

~Act Four: The Risk Untaken~

After All~by The Altogether, from When We Were Kids (Album) “Are you alright Jim?”

Part of Spock looked forward to being cured, the other wanted to hold onto the madness, just a little longer. He thought of the three words he could not say even with the peculiar freedom the sickness brought, and certainly could not say on the bridge… “Let me help” would not work, the captain could not show weakness at this time, perhaps, this other verbal trinity would suffice, in place of “I love you”.

“To heal the hearts the world had broke, a song for every sacrifice.”

Three Little Birds~by Branches, from Three Little Birds (Album) “… are you?”

Neither of them answered, but the silence was more than enough, of course they weren’t alright. They had revealed to each other things neither were ready to share. Sure, they’d survived, thankfully no one had died. Jim was no longer drowning, the anchor was lighter than he had remembered, and Spock seemed, fine, back to normal, sort of. They weren’t alright, but maybe, they would be.

“Singing don’t worry, about a thing, ‘cause every little thing is gonna be alright.”

She~by dodie, from Human (Album) “We have three days to live over again.” “Ha…Not those last three days.”

Three days, all over again, perhaps they could pretend what happened… No of course they couldn’t, what is done cannot be undone, nor said unsaid. But, what was said? Did he know? did he understand? Does he feel the same? For now, he is content to let the answer lie hidden. Not daring hope that he was right, but… why was he still staring at him?

“Am I allowed to look at her like that? Could it be wrong? When she’s just so nice to look at.”

Drive~by Incubus, from Make Yourself (Album) “We may risk it some day Mr. Spock.”

Fears and aches or not, Jim had learned a great deal about his First Officer today. It would only be a matter of time before the Vulcan in him took over again. If the anchor was light enough, maybe he could drag himself, little by little, close enough to reach him. Regardless of what may come, at least they knew each other now. If Jim could help it, he was going to learn more.

“Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes.”

[shutupandshipit]

Cosmic Joke - Oneshot

Summary: There was a wanting in his chest, a humming underneath his skin, a whine behind his rib cage.

He swallowed thickly, throat dry. His hands trembled at his sides, sweat dripping from them as he tried and tried and tried to light that match, to start that explosion, but something in him had switched on and extinguished those flames. Something soft and wanting and small. Something that was small, but large enough to overcome his whole being.

Saliva pooled in his mouth like the stickiness that pooled in his underwear.

.....

Or where Katsuki never entertained the thought of presenting as an omega, and then he did. That's not going to stop him from being the number one hero, but hiding being an omega at UA was harder than he thought.

Pairing: Bakudeku with mentions of Shinkami and Bakukami friendship

Rating: E

Fluff piece post main events: Gentle Lovers

There was a reason male omegas were so rare. A perfectly valid fucking reason that Katsuki wished every day the universe had listened to. A male omega was a mistake. A mutation in the genome. They were rarer than people born quirkless which was becoming more and more rare with each passing birth.

Male omegas, in society's eyes, were an extraneous part of the machine that already ran smoothly. Much like a woman who had been born whole and intact, who bled and hurt every month, but still couldn't get pregnant. Or people who were quirkless.

Even then, society still found other uses for them, but there was absolutely no use for an omega that couldn't get pregnant.

Katsuki hadn't understood what that really meant, hadn't wanted to call absolute bullshit on society as a whole, until he'd presented as an omega. Before that, he'd been one of the people to even subscribe to that thought process. After all, he'd only been eleven and cocky and so sure that any day his alpha would rear its head. Then Izuku would present as an omega, and he'd have just one more thing to lord over his childhood friend's head.

Several of his other classmates had already presented at that point. A little omega girl, a set of beta twins that had been a boy and a girl, and an alpha girl. Girls most often presented faster since puberty for them began earlier than boys, but if the girls were presenting, that meant the boys wouldn't be far behind.

Katsuki had been impatient to meet his alpha.

He'd presented over that summer break, the heat hitting him like a punch in the stomach as he meandered through the thick twilight air with several of his friends. The heat started as sweat pooling in his palms and lower back, down his thighs and in the cups of his collar bones. Heat flushed his cheeks with color as he laughed wildly at something stupid one of the others was doing. Euphoria coursed through his body as one of them bumped into him.

Something hot and wet and slick coated the inside of his underwear, and he stopped.

Something wasn't right.

There was a wanting in his chest, a humming underneath his skin, a whine behind his rib cage.

He swallowed thickly, throat dry. His hands trembled at his sides, sweat dripping from them as he tried and tried and tried to light that match, to start that explosion, but something in him had switched on and extinguished those flames. Something soft and wanting and small. Something that was small, but large enough to overcome his whole being.

Saliva pooled in his mouth like the stickiness that pooled in his underwear.

“Bakugou, what's going on, man?” his friend asked, the one that had bumped into him. He turned to walk back towards him from where the others had stopped. “You still coming over to my house?” He clapped a hand on Katsuki's shoulder, looking concerned. “Hey, you okay? You look a little red. Are you sick?”

���Don't fucking touch me!” Katsuki snarled, smacking away the boy's hand with more ferocity than the situation deserved. He stared down at the concrete, fists clenched tightly at his sides. “Don't fucking touch me,” he hissed even though that humming whine in his chest only increased at his friend's touch.

'Friend. Protection. Comfort. Scent friend. Protection. Comfort. Friend. Protection. Comfort. Scent friend.' The voice in his chest wasn't his own, too soft and high. He knew what that voice belonged to.

“Hey, what's going on? You're kind of acting like a nut case,” the boy asked again with more concern, reaching for him.

Ignoring the whine, Katsuki snarled and bared his teeth. “Don't touch me!” Turning, he sprinted down the road, away from his friends and away from their comforting scents.

They couldn't know he was- They couldn't know. They couldn't find out. No one could know. No one could find out. He'd take the secret to his grave before that ever happened.

There had to be some kind of mistake. Where was the rewind button? Where could he press reset on his body? It all had to be some kind of sick joke the universe was playing on him. He couldn't be... He couldn't be...

He hadn't realized he wasn't running towards home until he stopped, out of breath and panting on an unfamiliar street. The smell of a lighting storm in full swing clogged his nose, and it took him a long moment to realize he'd been following the scent. He'd been searching out the person it belonged to. He knew who the scent belonged to even though he would have never smelled it until he presented. They'd known each other longer than anyone else. There was no way he wouldn't know.

“Fuck,” he hissed, trembling in the middle of the street like the scared child he was. The sun had dropped below the horizon, the stars beginning to materialize in the sky and the street lights just starting to flicker to life. The heat hadn't abated.

In the darkness, he knew he needed to get home. He needed to get to, 'Protection. Comfort. Family. Protection.' He needed to get home, but he was also terrified of what his parents would say about his new secret. He knew what his mother thought of male omegas, he'd heard her talk about them too many times before.

They were 'useless, pathetic, disappointing creatures that were better off if they just ended it when they presented. They were just a strain on society. It's not like they could amount to anything.'

It had been years since he'd cried. That last time had been when he'd accidentally burned himself for the first time with his own quirk. There in the middle of the street though, he felt the tears welling in his eyes, hot and traitorous.

He was so hot, unbearably so. His skin felt wrong, like it didn't fit right or didn't even belong to him. The dampness of his underwear got worse with each passing second, and something warm slipped down the back of his thigh.

“Hey, do you smell that?” a husky voice said from around the corner ahead of Katsuki.

A hum, deep and primal that made his own hum turn to whine. “Smells like heat. I can smell the slick too. Smells like a new omega. She's close by.”

“Real close.”

She.

The word hit Katsuki like a punch to the chest. Right. Because almost all omegas were women. Ninety-five percent of omegas were women. It made biological sense. Why would anyone assume he was a boy? He probably didn't even smell like one anymore. Why would anyone assume any omega they couldn't see was a boy? Omegas were meant to continue on the population, to give birth and raise and nurture the next generation.

Even if he'd been born a girl, Katsuki wasn't a nurturer.

He shouldn't be an omega. He couldn't be an omega.

He couldn't.

He cou-

“It's making me kinda horny,” the first voice rasped, closer than before.

Fear pierced through him. All his senses were on high alert. Ready for a threat. Ready for an attack. Ready to defend himself. Ready for-

'Alpha,' his omega whined.

“Let's go see if she... needs some help.”

Katsuki took off again. Away from the lightning storm scent, away from those two men. 'Two Alphas.' This time, he didn't take a detour. He was home in what felt like moments, mind frantic as he pushed through the door and slammed it behind him. He was up the stairs despite his mother yelling at him to not 'slam the fucking doors, you damn brat!'

He slammed his bedroom door closed. If he had a lock, he would have locked it as well.

Sheets, blankets, pillows. All stripped from his bed quickly and efficiently.

Everything shoved into the closet.

Wriggling out of his clothes, he left them in front of his bare bed.

Dive into the dark, cramped space. He barely fit. Burrow and burrow and burrow until he was surrounded. Until his skin stopped itching so much. Until his breathing eased and the omega in his chest purred.

'Safe.'

“Safe,” he agreed tiredly, curling as tightly in on himself as he could. He breathed into the space and settled, calmed by the warmth of his own body heat radiating back at him.

Outside the door, he heard his parents shuffling around. There was his mother's cinnamon and cardamon scent. 'Alpha Mother.' And there was his father's much more subdued scent that his mother had told him once smelled like Tequila. 'Beta Father.'

Their scents were calming, a gentle reminder of the safety and protection they provided. He wished he had something covered in their scents in his hiding place. 'Nest.' Something that he could curl around and hold close because his heart was still racing, sweat still pouring off him, his quirk still not sparking. He was still scared of their reactions, but he also knew they would keep him safe no matter what.

“Mitsuki,” his father's soft voice said on the other side of the door, and he heard his mother's responding rumble.

“Fuck. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get the suppressants and pheromone blockers. It might be early enough that we can at least get the blockers into him and not attract every alpha on the block. For now, it's going to get a little unbearable while I mask his scent,” she growled, and her stomping footsteps faded down the hall.

After a moment, his father asked, “Katsuki, can I open the door?”

Turning onto his opposite side, Katsuki opened the door himself just a crack. He could see his father's gentle brown eyes, smell his bitter Tequila scent, hear the gentle hum he was emitting. “I hate this, Dad,” he whispered, suppressing the urge to let hot tears fill his eyes.

“I know. It's your first heat. It's going to be a little uncomfortable for a while, but Mom's getting you something that should help a little. After your heat is over, we'll explain everything.”

“How can I be an omega? I can't. But you're acting like you knew I was going to be,” he accused, some of that familiar anger sliding back it, but too dulled by the heat to do him any good. Masaru's head dropped in answer, and Katsuki whined, “Dad.”

Marasu only glanced over his shoulder.

“Let me talk to him,” Mitsuki demanded, coming into view behind him, and his father immediately moved out of the way for her to crouch, “Go get some of our clothes. Probably last nights clothes would be best.”

Her scent was nearly overwhelming as she crouched before him, and his knees went weak with the sense of calm she was silently pushing onto him. He wanted to fight it, wanted to fight the command in her scent, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to yet.

His body ached all over like he'd just finished fighting an ogre, and the ogre had won.

'Alpha Mother. Safety. Protection. Family.'

"Mom," Katsuki whined, shifting in his blankets to face her better.

"Here, take these and drink this entire bottle of water," she said, shoving the water through the hole and then holding out a cupped palm ready to drop whatever she was holding.

He held out a trembling, sweat slicked hand, and she deposited two pills into his palm. He took them without question, swallowing them down and then gulping down the contents of the bottle until it was empty. "What was that?"

"A desensitizer and pheromone blocker. They'll help. At least a little." She sat back, taking the bottle from him. "I heard what you asked your father. When you were really little, the doctors let us know that you had elevated levels of estrogen which is common in omegas. There was always the possibility, so we aired on the side of caution, but we didn't want to worry you."

"I don't want to be an omega," he said, covering his face with his blanket as the tears fell, the ones he'd been holding back since the street and those alphas and his friends. "I want to be an alpha like you. I should be an alpha."

Mitsuki's hand nestled into his hair, her scent enveloping him in a cocoon of warmth and spice. "I know."

"Does this mean I won't be able to be a hero now? Because no one likes male omegas? Because we're useless?"

She looked away and cursed under her breath before snapping fierce eyes back to him. "Of course not! Don't say stupid shit like that!" Mitsuki snapped irately, and he stretched out his neck long in unconscious submission. She sighed, softening her voice as much as it ever could. "You can do anything you want. This doesn't define you, and it never will. Just because you can't give birth-" His omega lifted its head and whined plaintively, the sound rising in his own throat, and Mitsuki's scent only grew stronger in response. "This doesn't define you. Your actions are what's going to define you in the end." She ruffled his hair. "So if your weak, it's only because you rolled over for your omega. If you're weak, it'll only be your fault."

He growled and snapped at her hand, more subdued than normal, but still the same as always. Swatting her hand away, he pulled the sheet up to completely cover himself and scrubbed at his face. "Okay," he said, voice stronger than before. He wouldn't let this define him. Omega be damned. He was still going to be the number one hero, and if anyone had a problem with a male omega being on top... Well, they could just suck his dick.

His omega raised it's head in his chest, cocking it in confusion. This wasn't how an omega was supposed to think. Submission. Softness. Nurturing. That's what he was supposed to be like.

Staring down at his chest, he muttered, "Do you hear that, omega? I'm not going to let you control me. Just because you're here now doesn't mean you get to boss me around. I'm not some skinny, whiny, panting omega looking for an alpha, you hear me? I've got plans. I'll die before I let you ruin that for me."

Both Mitsuki and Masaru were laughing outside the door, and he peaked out to look at them again.

Unceremoniously, his mother shoved two shirts through the hole. They reeked of his parents, and his omega purred loudly in his chest.

"How about you start with getting through your first heat and then we can talk about learning how to put your omega in its place," she suggested before closing the door, "We'll come check on you in a few hours. I have somebody to run off."

The door to his room opened and closed, and then he was alone. Both his parents scents faded until he was only smelling them on the shirts his mother had given him. He folded them up and shoved them into his pillow case, curling around the pillow.

The heat flooding his body was more bearable now, as if he simply had a fever. Like when he got sick. He could live with that. He could pretend this one time that this was just some fucked up cosmic joke.

.....

It wasn't long after that the Izuku presented as an alpha, but that only seemed to make him duck his head more, tucking his canines away.

Katsuki hated him all the more, ignoring the way his scent slipped beneath his defenses, slipped into his body. When Izuku was around, his underwear was always wet despite the suppressants and pheromone blockers and everything else he did to hide the fact that he was an omega now. None of the other alphas in the school did that to him.

And he hated it. Hated all of it.

He had to hide away just to protect himself while Izuku should have been proudly displaying new canines and flaunting his scent. Instead, Izuku seemed to take pheromone blockers as well, muting the unmistakable signs of 'Alpha' until they were unnoticeable if you didn't already know. After that first week when he presented, he was never absent from school for a rut which meant he was taking suppressants as well.

Katsuki hated him, and he didn't understand what Izuku had to hide from.

.....

Katsuki's second heat started during the UA entrance exam as Present Mic was explaining the second portion. Just like the first time, sweat began to coat his neck and back, along his thighs and collarbones. His palms dripped with the pooling sweat, and he did his best to keep his eyes focused as the heat slipped along the back of his neck. Under the desk, he experimentally set off a small explosion to make sure his quirk hadn't been extinguished like the first time.

He could feel Izuku's eyes on him as he pulled out his small bag of pills and downed another dose of suppressants and pheromone blockers for the day.

Sitting with Izuku at his side, his scent was nearly overwhelming. Still, it was, 'Comfort. Protection. Safety. Friend. Family. Alpha Lover. Safety. Alpha Lover. Comfort. Protection.' He shouldn't have been able to smell Izuku at all, but Izuku had either skipped a dose or was as affected by the atmosphere as he was, unconsciously pumping out more pheromones to clash with the others in the room.

His parents and he had guessed this might happen after suppressing -against theirs and the doctor's advice- his heats for so many years, during the years they should have been the strongest. He'd never been around so many preening and flexing alphas in his entire life. Besides his mother, Izuku, and a couple kids in the school, there hadn't been any other alphas to deal with. Overall, the omegas had outnumbered the alphas which was a statistical improbability.

And yet it had happened, so he'd been pampered through the earliest years of his puberty with the luxury of fewer alphas.

All hero courses always attracted more alphas than anything else though, and the room was all but hazy with pheromones. So, they'd adjusted his dose schedule so it'd be safer for him to take a second dose that day if he'd needed to.

He really, really needed to.

"Kacchan, are you alright?" Izuku's voice was right at his ear, just a whisper. "You look a little flushed. Are you sick? Do you need to see the nurse?"

Not looking at Izuku, Katsuki stood with the other students, and snarled, "Shut up, Deku. Leave me the fuck alone, and stay out of my way." Turning, he ignored the spike of curiosity and worry that shot through Izuku's scent and the whining omega in his chest.

Blessedly, slick only began to spill from him towards the end of the practical. Flushed with victory and destruction and adrenaline, he didn't really notice it or pay it any attention besides acknowledging that he was wet until he heard the conversation of a group of burly looking idiot alphas and singular female alpha.

The buzzer ending the practical rang.

"Hey, does it smell like slick to you?" one asked, sniffing the air with barely contained bliss, nose twitching, "It smells so sweet."

Another laughed wildly.

The alpha girl with bubblegum pink skin and little white horns laughed more quietly along with them, but concern filled her voice as she said, "Damn, some poor girl started her heat here? That fucking sucks. She should make a run for it. Find a little hidey hole until the proctors can come grab her. I don't even want to imagine what could happen in a group of alphas this big."

"A ravaging is what would happen," the first alpha laughed, "She wouldn't even survive. She'd be pregnant before she left."

Anger flitted across the girl's face, but she didn't say anything.

Another spoke up, shaking his head. "See, this is why omegas shouldn't be heroes. There's a reason there's no top heroes that are omegas. I mean, almost no heroes are omegas in general. What if they went into heat in the middle of battle? They'd totally be dead. Or like, during a mission? What are they supposed to do then? Hope some alpha comes along to fuck them through it? Omegas should just stay home where they belong."

Katsuki felt his hands crackling with frustration and bitter, bitter hate, the anger pushing down his omegas head forcefully. His omega went willingly though with a grumbled, 'Not real Alpha. Not worthy. Piss baby. Small penis.' He would have laughed if the female hadn't spoken up.

She snapped her teeth at the other alphas, growling deep in her chest. "That's not how heats work, dipshit. Why don't you go back to middle school and take sex ed again! In high stress situations like a mission, it's highly unlikely an omega's body would even be able to go into heat. On top of that, they can take suppressants to keep their heats on hold, to keep them on a timed schedule, make them easier or stop them all together. Like the pill or the depo shot for alpha or beta women. Ruts pretty much work the same, and statistically speaking, you're more likely to go into a rut during battle than an omega going into heat. Idiots."

"What's the depo shot?"

The girl was red as a tomato now despite her pink skin, far from the shy girl she'd seemed to be moments before. Liquid bubbled in her palms. "It's birth control, you absolute moron. I'll be surprised with how ignorant you are if anyone every wants to mate you. I bet you're dick is useless, isn't it? I bet your dick is smaller than mine. Oh wait, that would mean you don't have one." A cruel smile curled across her lips.

The snarling growls of the other alphas around her sent a shock straight through Katsuki, and he hated everything about his body. Instead of curling into himself like he wanted, like how his omega was telling him to submit, he turned completely to watch as the other three alphas squared off against her. Fear tinged her strong, bubblegum sweet scent, but that didn't stop her scent from flaring out dangerously to meet theirs.

They were fighting because he was near. He knew that's how this worked, but he'd never actually watched a fight break out over an omega before. Or not even an omega, just the idea of one. Just the smell of one. Alphas fighting for a prize.

It made him nauseous and scared though he'd never admit it, but not enough to keep him from calling, "Don't you think three on one is a coward's move? You guys want to be heroes? Don't make me laugh."

The four paused, eyes flickering towards him and noses twitching. There was so much alpha stink in the air though, the smell of his slick should have been well covered up by that point. Before they could get a good hold on his scent though, just in case it wasn't, he turned and started towards the exit.

Back home in the comfort of his room, his heat hit him full force. He had no time to prepare, no time to grab water or something to eat or take a desensitizer, as the wave of heat crashed through him and sent him to his knees.

Struggling, he pulled his sheets, pillows and blankets from his bed like the first time he'd gone into heat and shoved them in his closet. Stripping down, he left his briefs on only for the fact of the shear amount of slick coating them. They were soaked through, but hadn't begun to drip meaning they'd done their job.

After his first heat, his mother had bought him specialized underwear for omegas close to heat. 'Like period underwear, but for slick,' she'd explained helpfully, and he'd wanted to gag, 'And they're supposed to help block the smell.'

He'd never had to wear them, but along with the extra dose of suppressants, he'd thought nothing would hurt from being too cautious.

If he wasn't slowly going out of his mind with his heat and the feeling of his skin, he would have gone to the bathroom to clean up before crawling into his make-shift nest. Instead, he rifled through every drawer of clothing he owned until he found the clothes he used to wear as a kid. Pressing each piece of fabric to his nose, he searched, searched, searched for something. Something that smelled like-

'Alpha Lover.'

The scents of a lightning storm crowded his nose, pouring rain and electricity. More subtle than he would have preferred, but there all the same, held in an old All Might t-shirt Izuku had given him when they'd been kids before they'd been split apart by their quirks. It was the only alpha scent that invoked the same feeling of comfort that his mother's scent did. Shuffling through the rest of the clothing quickly, he found another shirt with Izuku's scent.

With the two shirts and his uniform jacket, he burrowed into his nest and closed his closet door.

Except that the scent of an alpha wasn't enough to get him through his heat this time, not like when he was young and hadn't fully grasped the idea of what he was attracted to. When his body wasn't mature enough to understand what his heat was meant for. He was well and truly into puberty now, and that made his heat a million times worse.

He spent the entire week and a half of his heat whining and sweating and incensed as he rutted against his bedding searching for that distant friction that would guide him through his heat. He kept a tight grip on himself throughout the entirety of his heat. Not matter how hard it got though, he never touched his entrance, moist and aching with slick.

He hated it, hated the substance his body produced for a process he couldn't even partake in. He hated that his body yearned to be filled even though he couldn't get pregnant. He hated his body because it was broken, a mistake in the genome. He'd never thought about the idea of pups before, but with his heat in full swing, his imagination went on a full tour of a family he would never have.

Two or three pups. Blonde hair and green eyes. Green hair and red eyes. Meek and timid. Boisterous and rowdy. Boys and girls. Alphas and betas only, god willing. Fire erupting from palms roughened by playing too hard outside.

His alpha curled around him, supporting him through his heats. Light touches of his abdomen, his thighs, his shoulders. Gripping him tightly, nipping at his shoulder and whispering in his ear. Body strong along his back. Breath hot-

The phantom touch left Katsuki shuddering against his bedding, sticky and hot and wet, but unable to lift himself to go clean.

There was a plaintive, high pitched whine in the middle of his chest that slipped passed his lips, more of a keening whimper than a whine. 'No pups. Cannot birth. No pups,' his omega keened.

The despair in his chest choked him until the keening was falling from his own lips in long drawn out whistles. His buried his teeth into his forearm, silencing his own voice.

That heat may have only been his second, but he was reminded of why he'd eaten suppressants like candy to keep them at bay.

.....

Class 1-A's A/B/O percentage make-up was an interesting one that made it easier and harder at the same time for Katsuki to hide his omega status. With a fifty-fifty split of alphas to omegas, and the rest being betas or unpresented, there were more than enough pheromones to cover up his own, but not enough to send him into another heat. Which was a relief. Besides Izuku, neither Mina nor Todoroki had scents that were pleasing enough to his nose to make him wet. Kirishima was the only other alpha in the class that he was willing to smell or smell like, his scent strong enough to cover any smell of slick that may present and pleasant enough not to rile his stomach.

It made it harder because omegas naturally flocked together. Power in numbers. Protection in numbers. Someone who understood the plight.

'Friends. Protection. Scent friends,' his omega chanted at him constantly, urging him towards the others.

Denki had managed to weasel his way into Katsuki's group of friends by virtue of his stupidity, but the others, Uraraka and Jirou found their places in Izuku's circle which was fine by Katsuki. Two less liabilities to his secret.

As much as he tried to ignore them though, he always seemed to find himself with them close to their heats whether it was intentional or not. Whether it was their two groups of friends sitting at tables next to each other or the other omegas unconsciously brushing up against him to scent him. It didn't bother him as much as it should have, his omega happily purring in return.

Despite how much he pushed them away and called them names, his omega recognized a kinship with them and never let him forget it. So he let them scent him and gravitate towards him and find comfort around him.

Luckily, their coming heats never affected him the way it affected the others. Pulling their heats a little further forward as well. After that first day, he'd doubled his daily dose of both suppressants and pheromone blockers, and carried extras with him just in case. The others, he'd found out from Denki's ramblings, only took suppressants to regulate rather that stop their heats.

"I can't go without my heat for too long. I tried some of the higher dosed suppressants, the ones that actually stop your heats, and I literally went nuts. I only missed one heat, and that was it. They took me off them faster than they'd every pulled anyone," Denki told him, straddling the bench of a table in the school's courtyard.

They were the only ones out there, waiting for the others to turn up. They would have eaten in the cafeteria, but the sun was out and warm on Katsuki's face, and the air was free of the stench of flaunting alphas.

Denki went quiet, pulling at a loose string on his pants. "I was emotional and crying all the time. It's like... higher doses of estrogen, you know? Or something like that. Whatever hormone controls when we go into heat. And I..."

Katsuki glanced at him, waiting for him to continue. He set down his chopstick, frowning deeply. "And what, Dunce Face?" he asked, his omega pacing worriedly in his chest.

Rubbing at the sleeve of his right arm, Denki said, "I, uh, it made me want to- Uh- I tried to kill myself. They put me on suicide watch for my first couple heats after that because I was still really volatile. Suicidal ideations and everything. I almost managed that time when someone wasn't looking for like two seconds. The suppressants... they just made everything about being a male omega seem twenty times bigger. All I could think of was the pups I couldn't have and the alpha I'd inevitably disappoint." He laughed helplessly, tears in his eyes. "It was kind of the worst six months of my life. I think I was... thirteen."

Katsuki pressed his lips into a thin line, staring down at his lunch. The words slid right beneath his skin, making a home there. They were too familiar to the thoughts that ran through his own head when he let down his guard. "Why are you telling me all this?"

Denki looked at him, startled. "I don't really know." A grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. "I guess I'm just comfortable with you. More than the other betas. It's almost like your one of us."

Katsuki didn't want to outright lie to Denki, so he didn't say anything, only glared back at him.

After a moment, Denki shouted in surprise. "Oh god, that sounded insulting! I didn't mean you're an omega! I just meant, like, you're comfortable to be around! Like how it's nice to be around the girls! Like you kind of put off a vibe-"

"Denki."

"W-what?"

"Shut up."

Denki ducked his head. "Okay."

Sero, Mina and Kirishima showed up in that next moment, flopping onto the benches with bursts of exhausted breath. They dropped their trays on the table.

"Ah man," Mina groaned, "What the fuck, Bakubro? For a beta, all the omegas seem to flock to you. How do you do it? Like even the ones in 1-B. What's that about?"

"Who's to know?" Katsuki muttered, staring into his food.

"Come on, man, what's your secret?" Sero asked, leaning towards him.

Rolling his eyes, Katsuki raised them. "My winning personality," he said in a monotone.

The group burst out laughing, but Denki's eyes were on him, questioning.

.....

Katsuki's secret began to unravel as the omegas began to go into heat. Denki was the first, his heat coming soon after they were admitted into the school dorms.

The day started out as it normally did. Everyone shuffling into class. Denki making a fool of himself to make Jirou and Uraraka laugh where they were crowded around Katsuki's desk without his permission. Halfway through the beginning of the day, he went silent, stopped answering questions, stopped asking questions. His scent, ozone and lemonade, grew thicker as the hours passed.

Denki was gone at lunch, and didn't come back for the second half of the day.

Katsuki already knew what was happening before he stepped onto his floor, but the sickly sweet scent of slick filled the air along with something bitter. Bitter like distress. Their conversation from weeks ago came back, and his omega whined plaintively in his chest.

'Friend. Distressed. Go comfort. Help. Don't let alpha touch. Protect. Friend. Distressed.'

"Dammit," he whispered, hurrying to his room and dropping his bag there. He grabbed the few water bottles and snacks he kept for after he worked out early in the morning, and made his way to Denki's room.

A crowd had gathered around his door, sniffing at the cracks, crooning softly to him. There were Uraraka and Jirou with their own supplies, a blanket and bag filled with water and food, a teddy bear held close to a chest.

There were also Kirishima and Mina, softly knocking and purring and asking if he was okay. They were his friends trying to look out for him, but they were also a pair of alphas, ones that hadn't scented or courted Denki with the intent of mating him.

Then there were others who were just curious and wondering about the fuss. They're noses weren't strong, but they didn't have to be to smell the heat in the air. Sero, Iida, Aoyama, Hagakure, Mineta and Momo hovered behind the alphas. Betas that were definitely not welcome.

Uraraka and Jirou chirped at his arrival, backing along the wall to let him to get close to the door.

Shoving Kirishima and Mina away from the door, he snarled deep and low in his throat. He snapped his teeth at the gathered crowd. "Get back!" he growled, voice full of the authority that his omega didn't have but still stood stall and gave, "Now!"

His friends skittered back into the others, eyes wide with surprise as they stared back at him.

Not turning his back on the group, he tapped lightly on the door and waited for the answering whine. He allowed his omega to croon back. 'Comfort. Protection. Safety. Friends. Here to help. Protection.' He waited until Denki's omega responded, and he cracked the door open.

Both Mina's and Kirishima's expressions sharpened and shriveled as distress and pheromones rushed over them. Even the betas responded, covering their noses and mouths with their hands.

Katsuki motioned for the two girls to enter, and they scurried in quickly as he snarled again. 'Leave. Stay away.'

"We want to help," Mina stammered, eyes worried as she peered around him.

"Bring one of your shirts, something you've worn recently. Leave them outside the door. I'll rip your fucking heads off if you try to come in," Katsuki snapped before closing and locking the door behind him.

Denki was curled up in a nest of his blankets and what seemed to be every piece of clothing he owned on the floor. He only wear a pair of black briefs that looked identical to the ones Katsuki owned, and he had to wonder if their mothers had bought them from the same place. Denki trembled, sweat damp hair sticking up all over his damn head, body flushed red in the small shaft of sunlight pushing through the crack in his curtains.

Blood coated his pale arms from several bruising bite marks, bright and new against old scars. "Why am I here?" he moaned, tears tracing over the bridge of his nose and down his temple, "Why do I have to be alive? I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore, Jirou. I don't want it."

"Don't say that," Jirou whispered, pressing gentle kisses to his broken skin and temple, kissing away his tears as they fell, "There's so much to live for."

"There's no point. I can't do what I'm meant to. I'll never have pups. I'll never make an alpha happy," he sobbed, golden eyes squeezed shut.

Uraraka nestled the teddy bear against his chest before covering him with the blanket Jirou had brought. Katsuki set down his bag where Jirou had set the other.

Without discussion, the three omegas moved to surround him, their scents and omegas reaching out to him. Even through his blockers, Katsuki's omega was stretching, stretching, stretching his pheromones as far as they could go. Jirou laid in front of Denki, wrapping her hands around his. Uraraka lifted his head into her lap, petting at his matted hair.

Katsuki laid behind him, their backs pressed together. His purr overlapped the girls', and they created a chorus around him, trying their best to calm him. "Listen to me, Dunce Face," he whispered, the purr making his voice waver, "This does not define you." He dug into his memory, pulling out what his mother had told him all those years ago. He was older now, had more experience, and he understood Denki on a level none of the others ever could. "Your actions will define you. They'll determine what kind of man you are in the end. Whether you can give birth is not your only function. Don't let that whiny, bitchy omega in your chest determine your worth. Your worth is not determined on whether you can make an alpha happy or not, if you can give an alpha pups or not. And if an alpha hates you for being born different means they're not worthy of being your mate anyway. There are always alternatives to traditional birth, don't think that's the only way. Don't you want to be a hero?" When he didn't get an answer, he pushed up onto an elbow and snarled over his shoulder, "Don't you?"

Denki nodded, but his eyes were still screwed shut, his chin dimpled.

"Then become a hero. Don't let this," Katsuki waved his hand over Denki's body, "This mutation in your genes stop you from doing that. Don't let your omega make you want to leave this world. To do this." He ran warm fingers over Denki's bloody bite marks, gentler than he'd ever been. "That's not their decision. You are their master. You're worth is not determined by their one track desire."

The three omegas were blinked at him, Denki sniffling as he stared at him.

After a long moment, Denki whispered, "Alright. Okay," but he pressed his forehead back to Jirou's, the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes again.

Sighing, Katsuki stood as there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, the hallway was empty, but there was a small pile of shirts on the floor. He knew from the size of the pile that they weren't just from Mina and Kirishima, but instead of getting annoyed, he just picked them up and dumped them over Denki. "Presents from your friends. I hope they smell to your liking."

Sniffling, Denki pushed himself up, and started to pick through the pile.

Katsuki, Jirou and Uraraka stayed with him throughout his entire heat except for when they had to be in class. They took shifts to get food, shower and use the bathroom. They stayed so he wouldn't be alone. They stayed to make sure he didn't do something stupid. Like let in an alpha sniffing at the crack of his door.

Katsuki couldn't remember how many times he ran off one of the four alphas in their class or ones that had found their way into their dorm. He wasn't keen on their four, but he instinctively knew they were only worried about their friend. The ones from other classes... He could smell the menace and ill intent and wanting.

The dorms were supposed to be a safe haven for them.

After running off the sixth wayward alpha, Katsuki found the entirety of the class gathered in the common room and chewed them out until all their heads were ducked. He focused particularly on the alphas as it should have been an instinctual thing to run off other alphas encroaching on the classes' territory, especially with a particularly vulnerable classmate in the building. Especially with an omega in heat in the building. "He may not be fertile, but that doesn't stop him from being your fucking classmate. Take some fucking responsibility. Make your alphas submit to you, and do what you were born to do!" he's snarled at the four, standing in the middle of the class smelling like omega and heat and Denki's distress.

The alphas ducked their head, even Todoroki, with Kirishima and Mina looking bad, but Izuku looking the worst. After that, the number of unwelcome alphas in the dorms exponentially decreased.

Walking out of the dorms the next morning, he wasn't expecting to see Izuku raise his hackles to display deadly canines and snarl at another alpha that stepped not only too close to the dorms, but too close to the three omegas that smelled thickly of Denki's heat.

Katsuki hadn't been able to tear his eyes from Izuku the rest of the day, his omega unbearably restless in his chest. 'Alpha Lover. Mate. Scent. Friend. Family. Alpha Lover. Mate. Mate. Mate.'

It was almost a relief to go back to Denki's room, but that meant the other three could smell the arousal and confusion on him. That also bothered him because they kept glancing at him. They weren't, luckily, stupid enough to comment on it though.

Denki's heat broke on the third day, and while it was a welcome relief, it was bittersweet as the four dispersed back to their respective rooms and groups. The four didn't make sense as a group of friends, but it had been comfortable. Simple talk and comparing music and all piling together in Denki's nest.

One day, they'd all have to take their heats on their own because they'd actually be seeking out mates. They were in this together for now though, and even if the others didn't know he was an omega like them, he'd let his omega steer him to protect them as well.

While Katsuki's omega was more than happy with the events, Katsuki couldn't get Denki's scent out of his clothes and hair for a week.

.....

Katsuki should have known that at some point the others would start to wonder about his lack of a definitive scent. Sometimes he smelled like omega, mostly when he'd just taken his blockers for the day and the blockers from the day before had begun to wear off. Sometimes he smelled like beta, scent muted almost to the point of nonexistence, no discernible features speaking to alpha, beta or omega. Sometimes he smelled like an alpha, Kirishima's or Izuku's scent sticking to him after brushing too close or letting Kirishima scent him. His attitude and personality made people who didn't know him not question it.

That didn't stop them from challenging him though.

Katsuki stood in the middle of the ring, stretching slowly as he waited for his opponent to step up.

Shinsou, hair messy and a deeper purple than the last time Katsuki had seen him, stepped out onto the mat with a heavy sigh. "You know, you're the last person I wanted to spar today."

'Likewise,' Katsuki thought viciously, but remembered to stay quiet. His skin felt hot with exertion, sweat beading across his forehead. He was having sympathy heat pangs as Uraraka made the slowest slide into heat that Katsuki had ever had to suffer through. Normally, he didn't respond to their heats, but he suspected one of the others had started their pre-heat as well. His omega was releasing a higher volume of his scent in response. As it was, he couldn't increase his dosage of blockers any more, so he'd been using Kirishima's casual and often scenting to cover up any remnants of his own scent.

His omega lifted its head, sniffing the air as Shinsou stepped closer to him. 'Alpha. Compatible. Good smell. Companion. Competitor. Possible mate.' His omega like Shinsou's frame, how he'd filled out since the Sports Festival and the gentle lilac scent he was releasing.

'Don't even think about it,' he thought savagely at his omega, especially when he saw Denki perk up. His ozone and lemon scent filled the area to overpower the others in both classes.

The alpha across from him cocked his head, glancing from Katsuki's aggressive expression to Denki's curious one. His eyes snapped back when Katsuki snarled low in his throat. "Protecting your little omega friend? He's cute. And I can smell that another one is going into heat. It's all over you. It's like it's under your skin."

"Alright, you two. Try not to hurt each other too badly. Recovery Girl isn't healing you guys anymore if you ruin each other," Aizawa said tiredly, standing at the edge of the ring. He narrowed his eyes specifically at Katsuki, but Katsuki just ignored his teacher in favor of cracking his knuckles.

'You might be here now, but you can't beat me,' Katsuki said in a wordless growl.

"Don't underestimate me," Shinsou murmured, "I'm not the same person from a year ago."

Katsuki dropped into a low fighting stance, hands held palms out. 'Neither am I.'

As Aizawa stepped away from the mat, waving for them to begin, Katsuki burst away from his mark. He dropped to the floor before Shinsou could consider dodging, shooting out a leg to sweep his feet from under him, but the alpha wasn't there.

Instead, in a move that was far more limber than he appeared, Shinsou flipped himself backwards, legs following one right after the other. He came up with his fists raised beside his chin and eyes sharp. "I told you not to underestimate me."

Katsuki snarled low in his throat, and his omega thrilled at the challenge in Shinsou's words. 'Challenge. Opponent. Alpha. Fight. Strong. Possible mate.' Fighting the rumble of approval his omega was making, he darted forward and slipped under Shinsou's guard. Fist flying, he just barely noticed Shinsou's own fist on a path towards his face before their fists impacted.

They wheeled away from each other, surprised and spurred on at the same time.

Standing straight, Katsuki licked at the blood in the corner of his mouth and watched as Shinsou wiped away the trickle of blood down his lips.

Sniffing, Shinsou frowned and stared down at his fist. Glancing back up, he cocked his head again. They stalked back towards each other, and Shinsou started speaking as they exchanged blows. "Your friends' scents aren't the only thing all over you," he said calmly, just barely dodging a fistful of fire to the face, "Do they know?"

'Know what? Stop fucking talking and fight.'

His voice dropped lower, and Katsuki wouldn't have heard him if they weren't already nose to nose. "Do they know you're a little omega bitch too? Or have you been hiding it this whole time? They don't know, do they? That you're an extraneous piece. Useless."

Katsuki froze, eyes wide, and in that fatal moment, Shinsou slammed his knee into Katsuki's stomach. He doubled over as his omega shrank back beneath the onslaught of the alpha's spilling pheromones. 'Don't you dare cower! Don't you dare submit!' Shoving a foot into Shinsou's stomach, he put as much distance as he could between them to catch his breath.

They were both panting and bloody, smoking holes in their clothing. It took them a moment before they rushed each other again, fighting as if their fate would be decided by the win or the loss.

"Do they know you want to be fucked into the floor as badly as your little friend? Do you think he'd open up for me? Just let me mount him like a slut and use him up?" Shinsou asked, and even though Katsuki knew that he was only talking out his ass to get a rise out of him, he felt his blood begin to boil in response. "Do you help him through his heat? Fuck him as if you were an alpha? I bet he'd be so wet if I fucked him, dripping wet even if he didn't really want me. Should I try?"

Katsuki could barely stop the words from falling from his mouth. His vicious growl was warning enough. 'Don't fucking touch him!'

"Can't you smell him? Putting out all those pheromones. Do you think he even realizes? That he's broadcasting an invitation? Do you think he's getting wet just thinking about it?" His face never changed, the blood dripping over his lips and down his chin. His face was impassive, even as he asked, "What about you? I bet you get wet thinking about alpha cock too. All you omegas are the same, aren't you? Even useless, sterile ones. You just want some alpha to come and put you in your place. You'd like to be filled, try to breed, but you know you can't. You're broken too, just like your little friend."

Katsuki roared, and in the next second, they were on the ground. He straddled Shinsou, pinning him more effectively than he'd pinned Deku in their stupid fucking fight. His pheromones were wrapped around him, trying to make him submit non-verbally, but Katsuki was done with the flight. He pummeled into Shinsou's body, and he could hear the other scrambling behind him. "Shut the fuck up! Don't fucking touch him! Don't fucking talk about shit you don't understand!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Shinsou may have finally been able to use his quirk, but Katsuki was bodily pulled away from him before he could.

He struggled against Izuku's strong hold, fighting against the calming pheromones radiating off of him. Fresh rain and lightning were accompanied by mint, and Katsuki realized Izuku must have come off his scent blockers. His scent was ten times stronger than usual, nearly choking him. Who was he trying to attract anyway? Who's attention was he trying to catch by coming off his blockers? Or had he finally just realized there was no reason for him to hide? His mind was reeling with Izuku's body hard against his back, solid and built.

"Let me go! I'm going to fucking kill him!" Katsuki snarled, pushing against Izuku's body as much to get back to the fight as to get away from him and his warmth and his scent.

Smoke filled his eyes. Someone was calling to Tsu for help. The acrid smell of burning paint doubled in beside Izuku's scent. Something was on fire.

"Bakugou!" Aizawa warned.

"Stop." Shinsou was sitting up, his face a bloody, impassive mess as he stared at Katsuki.

Katsuki stilled immediately and his mind went blank. Rage still simmered in his chest, riling up his omega even though he'd been so excited for the fight before. Threatening Denki had turned him against Shinsou. Small blessings, Katsuki supposed.

"Midoriya, let him go, please," Shinsou said, and Katsuki's mind cleared as Shinsou stepped close.

Izuku released him, but kept a hand on his shoulder.

Shinsou held out a large hand to Katsuki. "Thank you for a good fight. It was amazing. Most people hold back, so I'm honored that you didn't. I'm impressed at your self-control not to respond. I didn't mean anything that I said. I was just trying to get a rise out of you, to get you to say something." He waited until Katsuki grudgingly took his hand, and his voice dropped lower so that only Katsuki could hear him. "I'd never hurt your friend, and I don't tell other peoples' secrets." His scent had receded, allowing Izuku's to overpower it. "So, I'll keep yours too," he finished.

Katsuki glared at the alpha, feeling a defensive snarl rise from his omega. "Don't do me any favors. And his name is Denki, not 'your friend'," he spat and turned on a heel.

Izuku stuck around, apologizing and chatting with Shinsou.

Grabbing his sweatshirt, Katsuki marched from the gym.

.....

Denki's heat rose with one of Uraraka's months after his spar with Shinsou. Jirou and Katsuki split up between them instead of keeping them together. Two omegas in heat in the same room would not only send every alpha in a ten mile radius into a rut, but also push Jirou into her next heat sooner than planned. Splitting up between the two meant they were with them at all times, and that meant Katsuki was around after the school day when a knock sounded at Denki's door.

Groaning, he pushed himself off the floor where he'd been curled around Denki only for the omega to whine at the loss of contact. His heat had been worse than usual, leaving him thrashing and rutting against the floor as Katsuki tried to soothe him without touching him too intimately. Normally, he didn't have a problem lending his cock or hand or mouth to the situation, but not this time. No matter how much Denki begged and pleaded, Katsuki wouldn't be able to give him what he wanted no matter what he did.

They hadn't slept in days, and Katsuki had stopped going to class after the third day.

Deep bags marring the skin beneath his eyes and shirtless chest sticky with sweat, Katsuki opened the door. "What?"

The alpha's lilac smell hit him like a bulldozer, and he knew if he was being so affected by the subtle scent, Denki would go out of his mild.

Anger flared in his chest. Stepping into the hallway, Katsuki pushed Shinsou towards the opposite wall. "Rein in your fucking scent, shit head. You're going to make him worse. He's been out of his mind for nearly five days. You guys have been getting pretty chummy lately, so why the fuck are you here now? So late?" Katsuki spit his words bitterly. His omega's protection was out in full force, snarling and rumbling deep in his chest, but his omega immediately backed down, recognizing Shinsou's scent all over Denki's room.

Shinsou had a hand over his mouth and nose, breathing shallowly through parted lips as the smell of Denki's heat lifted from Katsuki's skin and spilled from the cracked door. "I came to drop off some clothes. Denki texted me at the beginning of the week, but I was on a work study mission, and... Tell him I'm sorry."

Katsuki stared down at the bag Shinsou was holding, eyes narrowed. He backed away from Shinsou, frowning. "What is Denki to you?"

"He's-"

Before Shinsou could continue, the door creaked open to reveal Denki hanging off the frame, his heat briefs soaked through and straining over his erection. His golden eyes were glazed, his hair matted from days of sweat and Katsuki's fingers. He looked like he was wanting for nothing more than to be dicked down. "Toshi," he rasped, taking an unsteady step out the door.

Horror and the need to protect the unsuspecting omega tore through Katsuki. "No, you horny idiot! Get back inside and shut the door!" he shouted, but his omega didn't rise like he was expecting.

'Mates. Mark. Alpha. Omega. Pair. Mates. Need to mark.'

Shinsou remained pressed against the wall under Katsuki's hand, stalk still.

Scooping up the bag Shinsou had brought, Katsuki rushed to push the idiot back into the room, but Denki ducked his arm with more speed than he'd been expecting. He just barely managed to wrap his arm around Denki's waist as he pressed up against Shinsou. Denki's arms wrapped around his neck, and he pulled himself up Shinsou's body enough to press their mouths together.

Shinsou stiffened even further, fists tightening at his sides even as his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth moved along with Denki's. A moan slipped passed his lips.

Stunned, it took Katsuki several long moments before he could jerk Denki away. He didn't know that they'd gotten that close. He lifted Denki off his feet, turning him back towards the room, kicking and screaming. Kicking open the door, he struggled to get Denki back through the door, both hands and feet braced along the door frame.

Slick started to slip down Katsuki's stomach and into the top of his shorts.

"Hitoshi! Alpha!" Denki all but screamed.

Katsuki caught a glimpse of Izuku at the end of the hallways, seemingly coming to investigate all of noise. "Oi! Deku! Come fucking help me with this dunce face before he sends Shinsou into a goddamn rut!" he yelled at him.

Izuku looked startled, eyes darting over the entirety of the situation before moving quickly. He clapped Shinsou on the shoulder. "Get out of here before you do something you'll regret," he said gently, squeezing the other alpha's shoulder, "We'll take care of him." When Shinsou didn't move, he continued. "Your panting. You're not going to be able to hold out much longer. Run while you can. You did great."

"Alpha!" Denki yowled, nearly bending Katsuki in half as he pushed away from the door. His nails dug deep into Katsuki's arm, and the smell of blood filled the air.

"Go!" Izuku shouted, and Shinsou took off down the hallway. Crossing to Katsuki and Denki, he ran a hand down Katsuki's back and coaxed a tremble out of him. "I've got it," he whispered for Katsuki's ears alone as to not send Denki spiraling even further.

Pulling a shirt from the bag on Katsuki's arm, Izuku started to purr loudly and lifted the shirt to press to Denki's face as he clamped his free hand around the back of Denki's neck.

Denki went limp instantly, and Katsuki sagged beneath his weight. He purred, purred, purred, reaching up to cradle Izuku's hand and inhaling deeply. "Hitoshi. Alpha," he moaned happily, slick dripping down Katsuki's stomach again.

"Okay. I'll hold this while you walk in," Izuku murmured, his voice warbling with the force of his purr.

Katsuki was trembling. Between Denki's heat and his fading suppressants and Izuku's scent and Izuku's body pressed close to his, he could barely keep himself from rubbing his scent all over him. He wanted to scent him. He wanted to mate him. He wanted-

'Alpha. Mate. Companion. Friend. Family. Alpha Lover. Heat. Mate. Heat.' His omega pressed flush against his skin, heating him from the inside out.

Katsuki growled deep in his throat, and both Izuku and Denki reacted.

Denki became utter putty under his hands. The front of his shorts was soaked with Denki's slick.

Izuku's eyes flickered to him, his hand dropping from Denki's neck to slide around the back of Katsuki's, and he shivered again. Did he just slide his wrist against his scent gland? Did his fingers just trace the length of his neck? Did he-

"Calm down, Katsuki, I'm not going to do anything to Denki."

A silent sigh of relief passed through Katsuki. Izuku didn't get it which meant he didn't get that Katsuki was releasing so many pheromones that they were nearly covering up Denki's. His omega rubbed against his chest, scratching to be let out. 'Alpha Lover! Mate!'

He needed his suppressants and a very long bath.

"I've got him," he growled, trying not to think of the heat on the back of his neck, "Now, fuck off!"

Wrenching away from Izuku, he hefted Denki into the room and kicked the door closed behind him, locking it quickly. He laid Denki down in his nest, dumping out the bag of Shinsou's clothing right on top of him. He immediately started to roll through the clothing, sighing happily as his pressed another shirt to his nose and a pair of shorts between his legs.

Katsuki sat down on the edge of Denki's bed, staring down at him and trying to reign in his own omega. There was slick on his stomach and slick between his thighs, and the heat of Izuku's hand lingered back of his neck yet. He wasn't a little terrified that it would never leave.

It was only thirty minutes later that another knock sounded at the door.

Denki moaned loudly, so Katsuki waited until he'd settled down again before opening the door.

The doorway was empty, but a change of clothes, a bag of waters and snacks, and a damp wash cloth sat on the ground. Everything smelled like Izuku, even the clothes which were clearly Katsuki's.

The image of Izuku vigorously scenting Katsuki's clothing had him gathering everything and slamming the door again. He pressed the stack to his nose. Tucked into the folds of his clothing though, he found his bottles of suppressants and blockers, and ice dumped into his veins.

"Fuck," he whispered, slumping to the floor.

Denki's head lifted from his nest, and after a moment's consideration, he crawled over to curl up against Katsuki's side. He purred gently, stroking down Katsuki's bare side.

.....

Izuku swallowed down the feeling that rose in his throat after Katsuki slammed the door. He shouldn't have touched Katsuki like that. He shouldn't have scented him without permission. He shouldn't have-

He shook his head, running a hand through his curls. His suppressants were in full swing, but he could feel the pre-rut surfacing along his skin.

It could have just been from the proximity to Denki or it could have been the sight of Katsuki all rumpled covered in Denki's heat pheromones looking like a wet dream come to life.

Or it could have just been Denki's heat.

That was definitely it.

For sure.

Nothing more than that.

His wrist felt seared where he'd ran it along Katsuki's skin.

'Mate. Omega. Mark. Mate. Friend. Family. Omega Lover. Mate.'

Shoving down his own alpha's head, Izuku headed towards Katsuki room. Despite knowing Katsuki was going to be pissed about him going into his room uninvited, he figured he'd at least be a little grateful for a change of clothes.

When he picked up the bottles of suppressants and blockers, he was less surprised than he thought he should have been. He'd suspected Katsuki of being an omega since the entrance exam, and the pills were just the last bit of evidence he needed.

Being in Katsuki's space, surrounded by his scent, his alpha purred loudly in response. 'Omega Lover.'

Heat flushing his cheeks, Izuku shoved the bottles between the folds of the clothing he'd grabbed and muttered dispassionately, “Not yet.'

…..

Later, when Denki's heat had finally broken and they were laying silently in his nest, Katsuki asked, "So, when did that start?"

"When did what start?" Denki asked. He was cuddled up in Shinsou's sweater and a clean pair of boxers. He stared at the ceiling and didn't look over at Katsuki.

Katsuki didn't turn to look at him either, lips pressed into a thin line. "You know what I'm talking about Dunce Face. When did that shit with the purple haired bastard start?"

Pushing himself up, Denki started down at Katsuki. "You mean Hitoshi?"

"Who else would I mean, dumbass? You've literally been masturbating to his smell for two whole days. Your heat lasted for a week because you didn't have his smell. Is there another alpha whose dick you're trying to jump? You slutting it up with all the alphas?" Katsuki snapped, all patience leaving him after being stuck in a room with Denki for an entire week and producing slick for the last two days because of Izuku's intentional or otherwise scenting. Stupid fucking Deku. He was at his wit's end with Denki and Izuku and his own fucking body.

Denki sputtered. "N-no! No! I've only been s-s-seeing Hitoshi! There's no other alphas! Why would you say that?"

"Because you were hiding the fact that you were seeing some half-baked alpha behind our backs!" he spat, sitting up and pushing away from Denki, "Do the others know?"

Denki dropped his eyes, playing with a fraying thread at the edge of a cuff. "No. I mean, Sero knows, but that's because he walked in on us. We were just hanging out in here." He quickly continued as Katsuki's eyebrow drew into sharp points over his eyes. "We weren't doing anything! We were just laying in here talking. You know what? I don't know why I'm defending myself. I shouldn't have to defend myself for being in a relationship. I shouldn't have to defend myself to my friend! You should be happy for me! You're supposed to be my friend!" There were tears in his yellow eyes, and his fingers were wrapped tightly in the cuffs of the sweater.

Katsuki hated post-heat probably the most out of anything surrounding the three omegas' heats. They always got so emotional. It was like even after being rung out by their heats, they still found some well of emotion that hadn't been touched and needed to expel if before things could return to normal. It was a hassle.

He glared at Denki, angry because there were tears in Denki's eyes. He was angry because he had made Denki cry so soon after his heat, after he'd cried for the first five days of it. He was angry because he could feel sympathy tears building in the corners of his own eyes. Fucking post-heat! "I am your friend, are you fucking kidding me? I'm the one who's been here through your entire heat! I'm the one who kept you from doing something fucking stupid like giving yourself to some random alpha! Just because I worry about you doesn't mean I'm not your fucking friend, asshole!"

"Yeah, but you don't have to act like Hitoshi's a bad guy, like he's trying to take advantage of me! He'd never make me do something I don't want to do! He's never commanded me!" Denki shouted back, the tears falling. He scrubbed at his face, but the tears just kept on rolling. "I'm not stupid, Katsuki. I know you think I am, but I'm not. And neither is Hitoshi. No matter if you think I'm an idiot, we know better than to rush into things. We know that things in high school might not last forever. We're waiting to do anything more than kiss, and that's why this heat was so hard. Because all I wanted was him curled around me, protecting me, but I couldn't. We'd go too far. I know that! So, stop treating me like a kid!” The tears had dried up, and he simply stared imploringly at Katsuki. “You should be happy for me that I found an alpha who wants me even though I can't give him pups. Don't you want to find an alpha like that too?"

Katsuki was taken aback by the sudden change in conversation, glaring at the other omega. His hackles raised defensively. "Why the fuck would I want that?"

Denki stared back at him sadly, bottom lip trembling. "Katsuki, we've been here for two years. I know."

"You don't know shit!"

"I do! And so does Ochako and Kyoka! We've known since our first year the first time you helped me through heat. We started to suspect when we were all drawn to you. We know, and we haven't said anything because we know you don't want people to know. Aren't you tired though?"

"There's nothing to be tired of because there's nothing to know!"

"Aren't you tired of hiding? Of the blockers and suppressants and all of it? Fighting your omega every single day? None of it is healthy, and no one would think less of you just because you're an om-"

Katsuki's snarl was animalistic as he stood and stalked towards his pile of belongings. "Don't fucking say it."

"What? That you're an omega? Well, you are Katsuki, and you can't run from it forever! One of these days, you're going to have to come off your suppressants, and it's not going to feel good. At all. You're so strong and great, but you can't get through a heat that's been suppressed for years on your own. You're going to be one of the top heroes one day, but are you really going to hide away what you really are just because you're scared?"

"Shut the fuck up, Denki. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

Denki sighed, still sitting in the middle of his nest. "One day, Katsuki, you're going to find someone, whether that's an alpha or not, that you really want to be with, and you're going to have to come clean. Are you going to be able to?"

Without turning to look at him, Katsuki stalked from the room. He needed to scrub himself clean until he couldn't smell Denki's heat on him. Until he couldn't hear Denki's words echoing through his ears.

.....

Katsuki should have known better. Should have prepared better.

No one thought the mission would last so long. It was just a work study mission over their last summer at UA. They were only supposed to be out of the city for a couple weeks at most. He'd prepared for the worst case and taken both bottles of suppressants and blockers instead of just what he'd need for the trip. He'd assumed he'd have enough. The prescription was up at the end of the month, which was just enough time for them to get back if something went seriously wrong.

He'd started rationing them as soon as he'd been told they'd be there for another week. They were there for nearly a month and a half.

He ran out the day before they were meant to come back.

His heat started to push against his skin as they traveled back, but it was a creeping, tentative thing almost as slow as Uraraka's heat. When he finally pushed back into the dorms, empty as everyone was still in class, he combating the need to nest. That restless, uncomfortable feeling beneath his skin that made him want to itch bloody scratches into his skin. He had the thought that while everyone was still in class, he could sneak into their rooms and borrow just one thing, a shirt or pillow or extra towel, that they wouldn't miss while it was gone. It'd only be a few days after all.

'Nest. Nest. Nest. Nest. Nest,' his omega chanted.

Instead of beginning, Katsuki dropped his stuff off in his room and grabbed his shower things.

The shower was nearly unbearable on his already oversensitive skin, and to make it bearable enough to finish the shower, he had to turn the temperature down as low as he could. Standing beneath the freezing spray, he could barely feel the cold as his skin steamed. He gritted his teeth against the sensations, scrubbing until his skin was raw and pink.

Once he was out of the shower, he slipped into his heat briefs and stalked through the dorms for the kitchen. Following his instincts, he gathered water bottle after water bottle and snacks that would be easy to get down and keep down.

Back in his room, he pulled his sheets from his bed and considered where to start nesting. He preferred small, dark, cozy spots so far for his heats, but he didn't have a closet to nest in this time. Growling out his irritation, he dropped the blankets on the floor and pulled his mattress from his frame. He shoved it in a corner opposite of where his frame was, opening one side of the sliding glass doors as wide as they'd go. Returning for the blankets, he dropped them in the middle of the mattress and then began pushing all of his furniture around the mattress to enclose the space as much as possible. It wouldn't be as small and dark as he'd like, but it'd have to do.

Satisfied with his nest to that point, he stalked from his room, leaving his door wide open as he made his way to Kirishima's room first. The door was unlocked as always, and he pushed into the room without hesitation. Standing in the doorway, he inhaled the alpha's heady, spice ridden scent, like seasoned meat cooking over an open flames. Apples and cinnamon and paprika all mingling together as he shuffled through the clothes scattered across his floor for something suitable. He found Kirishima's favorite workout shirt saturated with his scent and slung it over his shoulder before leaving the room.

He stopped by Uraraka's and Ashido's rooms, both unlocked -was he the only person that locked their damn door?- and paid a visit to Sero's room after that. He grabbed only one item, something they might not notice for awhile, but that he could wash thoroughly once his heat was over.

Dropping down to the floor beneath his, he went into Jirou's room first, finding the box she kept all of the clothing she was willing to share with the others during their heats and rifling through it. There was a pair of tattered old sweatpants in the bottom that Uraraka coveted during her heats that Katsuki pulled out with a decided hum. Closing the box, he pushed it back into its hiding hole.

He paused outside Denki's door for several long moments. After their argument months and months ago, Denki had made it a point to attach himself to Shinsou's side. If he wasn't with him, he was hanging out with the other two omegas. Things had been far tenser in their friend group than ever before, and Katsuki wasn't sure the other omega would be okay with him going into his space.

'Friend. Scent. Need. Nest,' his omega whined plaintively, pressing against his rib cage.

He could only hope that their time apart had helped Denki's anger calm. He could only hope that Denki wasn't still holding a grudge against him for everything he'd said.

He should have just apologized when Kirishima, Mina and Sero had told him to.

Slipping into the room, he tried his best not to touch too many things, but it took him several shirts to find one that smelled solely of Denki and not also of Shinsou. They're scents were already beginning to tangle together, and he knew they'd make it passed graduation. He suspected they'd be a mated pair before the end of the year after graduation.

He tucked the shirt beneath the folds of the other clothing he'd gathered, and quickly left the other omega's room.

He grimaced at the overwhelming scent of alpha coming from Hagakure's room, and wondered when the girl had finally presented. She'd been the last in the class, trailing behind Oijirou who had been a beta. He'd forgotten how out of control new alpha's pheromones could be. Not that two omegas on the same floor helped the situation.

He dropped his haul on his bed before finding his way to the second floor and the last bedroom he was compelled to borrow -steal- from. He stood outside Izuku's door for far longer than he'd stood outside of Denki's, nose twitching and dick already half hard in his heat briefs. 'Just do it. Just go in there, take something, and go. It's not hard. Stop being a pussy. Just. Do. It,' Katsuki chanted at himself as his body trembled at the thought of being encompassed by the alpha's gentle scent.

It took his omega to push him into the room. 'Alpha. Scent. Need. Nest. Alpha Lover. Want. Want. Want.'

Inhaling deeply, Katsuki finally twisted the knob and pushed open the door.

The room was just like he remembered Izuku's room from childhood. All Might merch plastered across the walls and his bed and bookshelves. Even his curtains are All Might themed, and he couldn't believe that he'd forgotten how much of fanboys they used to be over All Might. All Might hoodies and action figures and cartoons. Only, one of them had outgrown the obsession in the physical sense and the other still wore it proudly on his sleeve.

Sniffling at the sudden rush of emotion, Katsuki ran the back of his hand beneath his nose before stepping further into the room. Izuku's scent is as clean and subtly strong as ever, and it eased the omega in his chest immediately as he took in the room one piece of fan merch at a time. On a high shelf, he spotted the notebooks Izuku had been notorious for when they were in middle school. He'd figured he still made them, but the shelf was nearly full with more than twenty notebooks. He had to wonder how much time he'd spent on them.

If Katsuki had more time before his heat made it impossible for him to even move, he would have pulled down the notebooks and paged through Izuku's thoughts, but he didn't, and with each passing moment he knew it was getting more and more dangerous to be outside his bedroom. He didn't have suppressants in his room, and even if he did, he wouldn't be able to suppress the heat that had been building for two years. Two years of hiding later, he'd be outed as an omega and his feelings for Izuku would be broadcast just by his heat scent being in Izuku's room.

He wished he could stop himself from needing Izuku's scent, but even as a child, he'd never been able to help being near Izuku. After everything that had happened in the passed two years alone between them, it was a wonder he could have still been in denial.

The scratching and clawing and needing in his chest screamed a different story.

He let his omega lead him forward, running his fingers along his desk and the back of his chair. He picked up the night shirt draped over the chair and pressed it to his nose. Heat crawled into his cheeks from embarrassment rather than his heat. Being in Izuku's room felt more illicit than the others, like he was doing something untoward. Like he was some kind of pervert. Like he was planning on jerking off in his bed instead of just taking a shirt.

The thought made heat rush south, and he tilted his head back on his neck to stare at the ceiling and breath. He couldn't afford to rush himself into heat while still in an alpha's space, let alone in Izuku's room. He hadn't had a heat in over two years on double suppressants, and that didn't bode well for him.

Growling down his omega, he threw the shirt over his shoulder and continued around the room. There were his curtains, pulled open to let the sun in. There was his stupid All Might plush. There was his pillow with a drool stain on the corner.

He stopped as he stared at the end of the bed.

Folded at the end was an annoying familiar blanket. When they'd been younger, it had been the softest kind of flannel, but years of washings and abuse had matted the material. Under his fingers though, it felt as soft as he remembered, and when he lifted it, he laughed at the hole they'd ripped through the fabric when they'd been fighting over it. Pressing the blanket to his nose, Izuku's smell was the most prevalent, but he could smell himself beneath that as well. Their childhood scents mingling together.

His omega's purr was deafening.

Snuggling into the blanket, he pulled it around his shoulders and felt no qualms about taking it with him. Izuku would come looking for it eventually, but that might be for the better in the end if his omega's obsession was anything to go by.

"Come on, you utter animal," Katsuki muttered to his chest, closing Izuku's door behind him and taking his ass back to his room. He needed to sequester himself. He needed to nest.

Locking his door behind him, he threw himself on his makeshift nest, rumbling and purring and nuzzling until he was hopelessly tangled in his friends clothing. He wriggled into Izuku's oversized sweater, covering his nose with the collar. The sweater fit well on the alpha, but on Katsuki, it as loose around the shoulders and flapped around his waist. His arms felt a little more snug than he preferred though.

There was something missing, and it didn't take him long to realize what it was.

.....

Uraraka frowned down at her phone at lunch, staring at the text Katsuki had sent her.

Hot Head

I don't have anything that smells like my parents

"What?" she muttered, wondering what that could possibly mean. It didn't make much sense. Actually, it didn't make any sense at all. She hadn't heard from Katsuki in over a month. He'd been on that work study mission that had lasted way longer than it was supposed to. So, he must have been back, but she didn't understand why he was texting her now. Of all times. None of the three omegas were in heat, and that was usually where Katsuki's vigilance over them stopped. "What does this even mean?"

"What's going on?" Izuku asked, leaning towards her to catch a glimpse of her phone.

She turned her phone so he could see the message, still frowning. "Katsuki just sent me that. Do you have any idea what it could mean?"

"Oh? Kacchan?" Izuku asked, eyes skating over the screen, "Is he back? The mission ran long."

Uraraka shrugged. "I mean, I guess. He hasn't talked to me since they went out, so probably. But I just don't get what this means."

Izuku read the text again before sighing. Standing, he tapped her on the shoulder. "It's fine, I know what it means. I'll take care of it."

Startled she stared up at him. "I don't know..." She trailed off at his wide smile.

"It'll be fine. I'll take care of it. I'll meet you guys back at the dorms tonight," he said, picking up his tray and moving from the table.

"Wait, you're going right now? You're skipping afternoon classes?"

Izuku smiled wider. "I'm sure it's important, so I'm going to take care of it now. Take care of him when you get back."

"Wha- Izuku!"

Izuku was gone though, already heading from the cafeteria.

.....

"I don't know. He just left in the middle of lunch. He said to take care of Katsuki like he knew something. I figured we could check on him." Uraraka explained as she stepped into the dorms with Jirou and Denki. As soon as they started up the stairs towards their rooms, the scent hit them like a brick to the face.

Denki dropped to the stairs, panting harshly. "Oh my god, what is that?" he whispered, accepting Jirou's helping hand and pulling himself up.

"Someone's in heat," Jirou and Uraraka said together, supporting him between them even as they felt the weight of pheromones pressing on them. They were already beginning to respond to the heat, skin uncomfortable, slick gathering between their legs, sweat coating their bodies.

"Who would be-" Denki stopped in the middle of his sentence, realization dawning as the bitter despair rolled over them. Lifting his head, he stared at his two friends. "Katsuki.” He pulled away to scramble up the stairs with the girls following close behind him.

"Katsuki? But he's on suppressants!" Uraraka called, sprinting after Denki, but she knew. They all knew. There was no one else in the building that would possibly be in heat, but that didn't mean it made sense.

They were still confused when they got to his door, but it was undeniable. Katsuki's pheromones were filling the entire hallway, pouring from his room in waves of despair and pain and heat. With trembling hands, Uraraka pulled out the ring of keys she kept all the omegas' room keys on. None of them ever locked their doors, but she knew him better.

"Katsuki, we're coming in," she called, pushing the key into the lock.

"We're lucky the others were lagging behind," Jirou whispered, both her and Denki pressing close to Uraraka to slip into the room and close the door as quickly as possible.

The room was surprisingly well lit, the curtains and sliding door pushed open to let in the afternoon light and breeze.

Jirou whined low in her throat, hand pressed over her mouth and nose. "Blasty?" she asked quietly as they got only a couple steps away from Katsuki and his nest.

Lifting his head, he stared at them with blurry eyes and hair even more of a mess than normal. A low growl had begun in his throat, but he stopped as soon as he recognized them. He locked his eyes with Uraraka, blinking some of the heat away. "Did you bring them?"

"Did I bring what?" she asked, stepping forward and crouching on the edge of the bed through an opening between the dresser and desk.

"I texted you."

"Oh." She bit her lip, looking away instead of facing him head on.

Flopping back down, back turned to the other omegas, he grumbled, "Whatever."

Leaning over him, Uraraka tried to catch his eye again, but he turned his face into a familiar blanket wrapped in his fingers. "I'm sorry. I didn't understand the text. You didn't really give me any context. But, um..." She trailed off again, more guilty than she'd already been.

He turned his head to glare at her. "What?"

"Um, Izuku saw the text, and I guess he understood it? He left at lunch. I, uh, I figured he was going to get something from your parents," she said quickly, scrambling back was he sat up straight.

There was a snarl on his lips and color high in his cheeks, and Katsuki looked absolutely wrecked. "Are you fucking kidding me? Deku knows? This could not possibly get any worse! Get the fuck out of my room! Now!" He was screaming, and his commanding snarl was something pulled deep from his chest. "You're not welcome in here. Fuck off."

"Katsuki!" Denki protested, stepping forward, "This is your first heat in who knows how long! You're going to need our help!"

"I don't need anyone! Get the fuck out of my room!"

"Katsuki," Denki tried again, but Katsuki's resounding snarl had him reacting as if he were an actual alpha. He scrambled away from Katsuki's nest and back towards the door with the other two.

They closed and locked it behind them, and immediately heard the same keening whine that Denki had used during his firsts heats a UA. A sound that was the embodiment of despair, and spoke to Katsuki's true feelings.

'Barren. Sterile. Useless,' it said, and Denki's omega responded in kind until he was keening back, sinking to his knees as he pressed his forehead to the door.

"Come on, stop listening to your omega. Remember what Katsuki always tells you. Don't let your omega control you. It doesn't define you," Jirou told him, but even she was feeling it, swallowing hard as she tried to stay strong. She looked to Uraraka. "What do we do? We can't leave him. What if someone comes by? His scent is so strong..."

Inhaling a steadying breath, Uraraka said, "We stay out here. If he needs us, he'll come get us. Until then, we stand vigilance. We're strong heroes in training. If we can't protect Katsuki during his most vulnerable time, what kind of heroes and friends would we be?"

"Ones very affected by their friend's heat?" Denki asked, turning to slump with his back against the wall instead of the door.

Jirou and Uraraka couldn't help the small laughs that fell from them as they sat on either side of him.

.....

The scent of Katsuki's heat had permeated through the dorm, and not for the first time, Izuku was supremely glad for the double suppressants he'd taken as soon as he'd understood the text Uraraka had shown him. The other alphas were already fighting their instincts, and Hagakure being the newest alpha had sequestered herself away after being catapulted into a rut. Kirishima and Mina hadn't even attempted to get to their rooms. Even Todoroki had decided to remain outside with the others instead of having to pass Katsuki's floor.

Izuku stepped in front of the three omegas outside of Katsuki's door, frowning at the deck of cards Jirou was skillfully shuffling and their various stages of undress. The girls had changed into tank tops and loose joggers, and Denki wore only shorts. The three were sweating profusely, but steadfastly ignoring the moisture as Jirou dealed the cards.

"Hi, guys, what are you doing?" he asked, friendly as ever and holding the bag that held a pair of shirts and blanket from Katsuki's parents.

None of the omegas looked up as they sorted their cards.

"Well, Katsuki kicked us out, so we're keeping an eye out for any alphas that happen to wander passed from out here," Denki said, laying out four aces and making the girls groan loudly.

"You're a fucking cheater," Jirou spat, shuffling through her cards quickly as Uraraka grumbled and she picked up a card just to discard another.

"Why did he kick you out?" Izuku asked.

The three glanced up at him, eyebrows raised. Uraraka was the first to say anything. "It's Katsuki," she said simply, glancing down at the bag, "Are those from his parents? I can take them in. How are you not affected?" She reached for the bag, moving to stand up.

Izuku held the bag out of her reach. "I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to bring it to him."

"I don't think it'd be a good idea for you to bring it to him," she told him, voice dropping lower to nearly a growl, and he couldn't remember a time she'd ever talked to him like that. Not even when he'd stopped by to drop off supplies for Denki or Jirou during their heats.

He stared back at her, impassive. He'd learned the expression from Shouto and Shinzou, and found it to be particularly useful at times. "I'm bringing these in to him. He's already kicked you three out previously."

"You're an alpha, Izuku. He's in his first heat since I don't know when-"

"The entrance exam."

She paused, staring at him. "What?"

"The last time he went into heat was at the entrance exam. I remember because I could smell how his body heat had changed. He was on blockers and suppressants at that time too, but his body temperature spiked. And the smell of his sweat changed. I didn't really realize what all that meant until later when we were already here. Actually, I only kind of started to get it after Kaminari's first heat."

Uraraka stared at him, confused. "You can't smell someone's heat in their sweat, and you shouldn't be able to smell anything if he was on blockers. That doesn't make any sense, Izuku."

"Ask him. The last time he went in heat was the entrance exam. The smell of his sweat doesn't change like that when he's having sympathy heat symptoms."

"That's not a thing."

"It is. I've known Kacchan since we were in grade school. And I'm very observant."

"What?" Uraraka asked, exasperated.

Denki stood, blocking Izuku's way to the door also, but there was a thoughtful expression on his face as he stared back.

From the floor, Jirou tilted her head, eyes narrowing.

"You're an alpha, Izuku, and I don't know if Katsuki would want you in his room," Denki said calmly, calmer than he ever usually was, "What are your intentions with him? Explain how you're not going to lose control. The other alphas seem to have cleared as far out as they can. Kiri and Mina haven't even come back to their rooms."

"Denki!" Uraraka hissed, pupils constricting the longer she stood there, fingers poised in front of her for a fight.

It hurt Izuku that they thought he would ever be a threat to any of them, let alone Katsuki. "I took double suppressants before even considering coming near here. I just want to help him any way I can. If he wants nothing to do with me, I'll leave. You can even chaperon me in there to make sure neither of us go out of our minds, but I need to check on him myself. I can..." He swallowed thickly, throat growing tight as he dropped his eyes. "I can smell his despair. I need to check on him. I need to help him."

The three omegas glanced between each other, communicating without words. Finally, Uraraka huffed and stepped out of the way. "Fine, Izuku, but we're going in with you."

Izuku nodded without argument, just happy that they'd accepted his terms without more negotiation. Standing outside the door was slowly driving him nuts because he could hear Katsuki's keening and the sourness of his heat. He was just through the door, in pain and without anyone in there to help him. Even knowing that they'd been exiled by Katsuki himself, he was still a little mad that they hadn't pushed to stay.

Pushing the unfamiliar annoyance away before they smelled it on him, he stepped passed them as Uraraka unlocked the door. The pheromones were stronger passed the door, but not as strong as he'd been expecting. What was strongest was the undercut of copper and salt, of blood, beneath the heat.

Worry in his voice, Izuku stopped into the middle of the room as close to Katsuki's nest as he was willing to get without permission. "Kacchan," he murmured, knowing Katsuki knew he was there, that he'd already caught his scent.

"Deeeekkkkuuuu," Katsuki whined, dragging out his nickname so long that he was breathless by the end.

Izuku took another step forward before dropping to the ground. "I brought shirts from your parents and a blanket," he whispered.

His whine grew high and wordless, like the whine of a dog in distress.

"Kacchan, can I get close to your nest?"

Instead of answering, Katsuki extended his hand backwards towards the end of his nest, clenching and releasing his fist.

Izuku ignored Uraraka's warning growl as he crawled to the edge of the mattress and tentatively pressed a knee into the surface. Setting the bag aside, he pulled the shirts and blanket out, lying them just behind Katsuki's back. He didn't retreat though, watching Katsuki sit up slowly and adjust them as he saw fit. When Katsuki glanced over his shoulder at him, Izuku's breath caught in his throat.

His eyes were red rimmed and swollen, blood dried on his chin. Color stained his cheeks, running down his neck and over his chest and back. Several bruising bite marks marred the creamy skin of his forearms, dark blood dried around the crescents where his teeth had broken through. His eyes were glazed over, but present enough to know who Izuku was. They skated over him, taking him in from head to toe and stopping at his hair.

"You got a hair cut," he whispered, softer than Izuku had ever heard his voice.

Something twisted in Izuku's chest. This was wrong, this soft, vulnerable, hurting version of Katsuki. This wasn't his Katsuki, his Kacchan. He wanted to return him back to the Katsuki he'd fallen for all those years ago.

He hated that his alpha loved the vulnerability in his expression.

He ran a self-conscious hand through the thatch of curls on the top of his head and over the shaved sides. "Does it look stupid?"

"You look hotter without the bush." Ignoring the way Izuku sputtered, he turned his eyes to the three omegas standing just behind Izuku. "Get out."

"Izuku-" Uraraka started, but he cut her off.

Izuku watched the exchange in amazement as Katsuki said calmly and clearly, "He stays. If you try to make him leave, I will hurt you. If you argue with me, I will hurt you. If you try to stay, I will hurt you. I'm not playing games today. I'm not entertaining you today. I know you're trying to help like we've always done with each other, but you can't. Not today. So get out."

Uraraka and Jirou sputtered, "B-but-"

Denki stayed suspiciously silent, watching the situation.

"I'm not some mindless fucking omega. I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do. I can't even smell his alpha, okay?" Katsuki snapped, scent flaring over them and making the three omegas flinch. He sighed tiredly. "Just... get out." He turned, lying back down with his back to the group. Over his shoulder, he said, "And stop hanging out outside my door. Just go... take care of yourselves. I don't need you protecting me. Deku will get you when I kick him out. And don't get close to the other alphas."

Izuku wanted to laugh a little. Even deep in his own pain and heat, he was still thinking of their safety. If that wasn't the epitome of Katsuki, he didn't know what was.

"Okay," Denki murmured, the first to respond with voice soft and fond, "We'll come check on you in a little bit if Izuku doesn't come find us." His eyes narrowed as they turned to Izuku. "If I find out you did anything..." He trailed off, glancing to Katsuki's back again. "Well, let's go guys."

"What? We're just going to roll over!" Uraraka shouted, anger coloring her voice.

"Yes," Jirou said quickly, now eyeing the other pair the same way Denki had been, "He'll be fine."

"But-"

"Let's go." The two omegas pulled Uraraka out as she struggled, closing and locking the door behind them.

In the silence, Izuku couldn't miss when the whine started up again. "Get over here," Katsuki demanded softly, and Izuku crawled onto the bed, sitting on his knees beside him.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Make my omega shut the fuck up," Katsuki hissed, panting breath and face buried in the All Might blanket Izuku usually kept on the end of his bed.

Izuku's head spun with the implication of that blanket here, of what it meant. Katsuki had needed his scent enough to go into his room and take something important to him, something that connected the two of them. Warmth bloomed in his chest, and he started to purr quietly. Cautiously, he laid down behind Katsuki without touching him. "What is he saying?"

"He's just-" Katsuki stopped, and a shudder ran through his body. "Can't stop reminding me that I'm... barren. I can't do what an omega is meant to do. I'm useless and I'll never find an alpha willing to be with someone who can't give them pups. God, fuck this!" The smell of fresh blood filled the air. "Fuck being an omega! This is why! This is why I- I can't- I fucking- I don't- I want- I want-" The keening started again. "God, I just want a pup, but I can't. Denki's lucky. He found an alpha who wants him despite his inability. But I'll never-"

Driven forward by his alpha's need to comfort the distressed omega and his own to help his childhood friend, Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki's shoulder. Katsuki went silent beneath him as he started to speak. He couldn't stop his honestly, and really, he didn't want to. He was so tired of dancing around his own truths. "I do. I want you. Ever since we were kids, I've loved you. That didn't change when we were in middle school and you hated me and I figured out that I also wanted you. That didn't change when I realized you were an omega. It's always you. It's always been you no matter what. Even when you're an asshole to me and call me names and push me away. It's still you. Even if you were an alpha, it'd still be you."

Katsuki's breath was a shudder as he exhaled. "I don't believe you. You're delusional," he whispered.

"Do you want me to prove it somehow? Just tell me what I need to do. Tell me if you even want that from me."

"I-" Katsuki stopped and turned towards Izuku, hunger and exhaustion and despair crowding together in his eyes. Pushing himself up on an arm, he shoved Izuku onto his back and leaned towards him, brushing their mouths together. Just the barest brush of lips, but so intimate that it made Izuku's head spin. Katsuki didn't pull away, eyes half-lidded and lips brushing Izuku's as he spoke. "Tell me to stop."

"No," Izuku said simply, closing the distance between them and pressing their mouths together.

Katsuki leaned into the touch, pressing Izuku down into the mattress. When he slipped his tongue passed Izuku's parted lips, he groaned so deep it reverberated through Izuku's chest.

True to omega fashion, Katsuki's mood immediately switched. His scent barely took a moment to change and fill the room with the heady scent of slick and arousal. He attacked Izuku's mouth with the same ferocity that he battled with, hot and in control and primal. Grinding his hard clothed cock against Izuku's thigh, he groaned again.

Izuku knew this was partially his own fault. It had been the same for Denki, he remembered. His heats had changed once Shinsou had taken to him as much as Denki had to Shinsou, accepting him for everything he was. Only after his alpha had accepted his omega.

Despite Katsuki's desperation though, Izuku's mind was as clear as it could be with his long time crush hovering over him. He'd heard what it was like for other alphas to go into a rut, how uncontrollable and painful it could for them. How they sometimes couldn't keep themselves from marking omegas they stumbled upon. How they had been pushed into a rut by an omega in heat.

But Izuku was confident in the suppressants and his own will power. He knew that he wouldn't let Katsuki's omega or his own alpha push them into something they couldn't do so soon after coming to an understanding. He'd help Katsuki, but he hadn't shown up to fuck Katsuki. He didn't think that Katsuki would want that anyway. Not right now. Not like this.

…..

Katsuki was hot. Hot and breathless and hungry for Izuku. He wanted to devour him body and soul. He wanted to feel him against his body. He wanted to feel his hands on him as he took his pleasure. Katsuki had never been so sure in his life of what he wanted.

'Mate. Mark. Alpha. Acceptance. Mate.'

Vaguely, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he wasn't ready for something so permanent. Something neither of them could take back.

But the desperation was unbearable. He couldn't fight against the omega filling his skin, telling him to take while the alpha was still there. Before the alpha ran, realizing what he was doing.

"Deku," Katsuki moaned, reminding himself and his omega that the alpha before him was Izuku, that he had wants and needs that may not align with his omega's. With his own.

He never realized just how much he wanted to devour Izuku all these years until that very moment. "I want you to touch me, Deku. Touch me. Kiss me. Fuck me. Mark me," he panted, unable to control the words slipping from his heat addled mind. If he hadn't been so blissed out on the feel of Izuku's thigh between his legs, he would have been embarrassed. Never had he imagined his first sexual encounter with Izuku would be as the bottom. Despite being an omega, he was very, very certain in his status as a top, but his omega screamed for him to be filled. To feel the push of hot flesh against his entrance. To feel seed fill him to the brim and a knot stretching him tight to keep it all in.

The thought grossed him out, but also made him wet with anticipation.

Izuku kissed him again, licking into his mouth. His scent was as calm as ever as he pressed his knee up between Katsuki's legs, making it all the easier for him to rub himself off. He was one hundred percent positive he could come just from the little friction.

Groaning, he slid further into Izuku's lap.

The feel of Izuku's own hard cock through his pants sent Katsuki straight over the edge, and he bit into Izuku's bottom lip as he shuddered, slumping heavily against him.

"Tell me what you want. I'll give you everything accept for fucking or marking you. But I know there's more. What do you want?" Izuku murmured with hot breath against his ear, voice gentle and coaxing. "I want to make you feel good, but I can't go too far."

"Go too far," Katsuki whispered back, voice nearly a plea and nose buried in the crook of Izuku's neck, "Touch me. Take me. Bruise me and bite me. I want everything you give me. I want it all. I want all of you. I want to feel you hot inside me." He licked at Izuku's scent gland beneath his jaw, searching for that alpha scent, but the blockers were still working as advertised. He and his omega agreed immediately on their annoyance, grumbling their displeasure.

Izuku trembled, hand on Katsuki's waist. "Kacchan, you're going to be the death of me."

"Call me by my name."

"K-Ka-Katsuki?" Izuku stuttered, and Katsuki shuddered against him. "Do you really hate my nickname for you?"

Huffing, Katsuki took the time to suck a mark into the side of his neck just under the collar of his uniform shirt. "That's what you called me when we were little kids. We're not kids anymore. I don't want you to call me that in bed."

"Th-Then I don't want you calling me 'Deku' i-i-i-i-i-in bed."

Smirking, Katsuki growled, "Izukuuuu," against his hear, and relished in the groan that it pulled forth.

"That's not all you want, is it? Tell me what you want me to do."

"I told you what I want."

"I'm not fucking you."

Katsuki huffed again and slid off Izuku to lay on his back, eyes closed as he breathed. His heat had calmed to a dull roar after he'd come, enough to give him some thinking room, to see through the fog. He hummed thoughtfully, fingers roaming over Izuku's chest. "You're right. Don't let my omega speak for me."

Izuku laughed, his own hand trailing up Katsuki's side. He turned his head to look at him. "I'm trying not to let my own alpha direct me. The suppressants are helping, but you're still an omega in heat. So he's kind of going nuts that I'm not taking you. But we're not animals. And I don't think it'd be a good idea right now."

Katsuki chuffed, smirking. "Agreed." He slid two fingers through the hole between two buttons, trembling at the skin to skin contact. Electricity skittered up his arm, and he wondered idly if this was what Denki felt like with Shinsou. If his body felt like a live wire. "My omega is screaming. You heard what he was sayings. It's kind of hard to-" He inhaled sharply as Deku's hand skimmed across his abdomen just above his briefs. "-droooown him o-o-out." The heat burst back to life, and he was panting and hard all over again. "Fucking fuckity fuck. Jesus. Dammit Izuku, just touch me," he hissed, eyes still screwed shut as his fingers curled into claws on Izuku's chest.

"Where?"

"Jesus, god, anywhere! Literally anywhere! Just put your goddamn hands on me!"

"Bossy," Izuku laughed, but swung a leg over Katsuki and straddled his hips. He sat purposefully on Katsuki's unmistakable bulge, rocking his hips gently down. He hadn't had many ruts, more than Katsuki had had heats, but less than the other alphas. Only one for each summer since he'd presented. He'd spent even less of those with another alpha or helping an another through their own rut. That didn't mean he was innocent though, and he knew what he preferred during sex. Sure, alphas were supposed to top at all times, but like he'd already said, they weren't animals. They had tastes and appetites and desires just like every other person. And his alpha had never really seemed to have a problem with him being a power bottom with another alpha.

Now though, with Katsuki beneath him barely clothed and chest heaving with heat and so pliant under his hands, his alpha was telling him to, 'Take. Take. Take!'

Ignoring his alpha's chanting, he rolled his hips again and smiled at Katsuki's groan. He leaned over Katsuki, pressing a kiss to his mouth, his nose, his cheeks and forehead and jaw and neck. He trailed his kisses down, down, down, licking at the sweat droplets beaded on his skin, rolling a pert nipple between his teeth. He was loosing himself in the rhythm of them, the grind and the thrust and the press. The only saving grace was that he was still fully clothed, and he was going to stay that way.

Sliding from Katsuki's lap and watching how he willingly spread his legs for him, Izuku nipped and sucked marks across the hard expanse of Katsuki's abs until he was stopped at the waistband of his heat briefs. Unable to resist, Izuku nuzzled at the crease of his hip and thigh, deeply inhaling the scent of allspice and burnt sugar and slick. Izuku could get well and truly drunk off of Katsuki's scent.

"I'm going to take these off," he warned before sliding the briefs down Katsuki's hips and thighs, setting them off to one side. The heat radiating from Katsuki was nearly suffocating once he had his face between his thighs, kissing along the inside of his thighs with single minded focus. With each moan Katsuki release, Izuku moved closer to the crux of his thighs to abuse a new patch of skin.

"Fuck, Izuku, just do something already," Katsuki snarled, hands gripping at the roots of Izuku's curls, "You're driving me up a fucking wall."

"How do you ask?" Izuku asked boldly in a deep rumble.

Katsuki jerked beneath his hands and mouth. "Please," he whispered, fingers tightening ever so slightly.

Izuku hadn't actually expected him to respond, and so he did what he'd been wanting to do since their first year in high school. Wrapping his arms up and around Katsuki's thighs to hold him in place, he licked a stripe up the underside of Katsuki's cock before taking him in his mouth. Katsuki's resounding whine sent a jolt of pleasure straight to Izuku's own dick.

…..

Izuku was sinfully good at sucking cock, so much better than any of the other omegas. They'd all needed different things to push through their heats, and sometimes that had led to compromising positions between the four. Their sexual relations never went further than heats. Heats were one thing, but just have sex to have sex was a line they'd never crossed in their friendships. He didn't actually know if it felt so good because he was in heat or that Izuku was actually that good, but it was only a few moments after Izuku had swallowed him down that Katsuki's mind whited out. He hadn't even had the presence of mind to thrust into his mouth.

He came to panting and breathless, fingers still tangled in the newly shortened curls, unconsciously scratching his fingers over Izuku's scalp.

Izuku purred happily. He hadn't come up from between Katsuki's legs, nuzzling his nose through the blonde curls around the base of his cock. He was kneading at Katsuki's hips and thighs, and Katsuki for the life of him couldn't understand what he was still doing down there. "Are you just going to chill down there or what?" he bit out, but his voice was softened around the edges, dulled by two orgasms and the intoxicating sensations of his body being worshiped.

"I want to..." Izuku trailed off, eyes still closed. He pressed his nose into the crease of Katsuki's thigh again.

"What do you want, Izuku?" he asked, voice husky and omega rioting in his chest as he started to grow hard at the mere thought of Izuku taking what he wanted. God, this was not something he missed from his last heat. Being rung dry and coming back to life moments later.

Izuku's grip was tight, but not bruising. Katsuki wanted the bruises, wanted the marks if he wasn't going to bite him, and Izuku seemed to reply to that silent command as he dug his fingers into his skin.

Katsuki hissed.

"I want to... I want to eat you out. Lick up all your slick until you don't know up from down. Finger you until you forget I even have a cock. That's what I want, but I know you probably don't like- I don't want to overstep-"

"Do it. Do it. Fucking do it," Katsuki chanted, thighs tightening around Izuku's head, "Make me feel good. Make me forget myself. Do whatever the fuck you want with me, Izuku."

Izuku groaned, closing his eyes to keep himself in control. "Well, since you requested so nicely..." Lifting Katsuki's hips a little higher, he used his thumbs to spread his cheeks.

A pool of slick had gathered beneath him on the sheets.

When Izuku swiped his tongue over Katsuki's entrance, he nearly blacked out. His slick was sweet to the point of too sweet with undertones of his all spice and burnt sugar scent. He couldn't stop the utter keen of pleasure that exploded from him.

Katsuki shouted above him, jerking beneath his hands. His heels dug into the mattress on either side of Izuku, using the leverage to lift his hips higher.

Izuku licked at him again, and again, and again, until Katsuki was a writhing wordless mess and he'd cleaned up every last drip of slick. Katsuki hadn't cum again yet, so Izuku waited until both of their breathing had slowed before teasing at the tight ring of muscle with the tip of his tongue, circling and prodding, but not pushing further. Only when the slick began to drip again did he push forward, working Katsuki open with his tongue. He opened easily, even more so when he finally slipped a finger in beside his tongue.

Katsuki was beside himself, eyes screwed shut and hips being held securely as he tried to thrust against Izuku's mouth. If he'd known that Izuku felt the same way, if he knew what the stupid nerd could do with his mouth besides run it, he had no doubt that he would have come off his suppressants sooner. He would have let Izuku take him apart heat after heat after heat just to feel his hot breath on him again.

He couldn't wait for Izuku's next rut so he could repay in kind, and dissect him piece by piece until he didn't know his own name.

"Izuku!" he panted, dragging at the alpha's curls, needing to kiss him, "Izuku, come up here! Kiss me!"

Izuku complied, his fingers burying themselves deep in his ass to replace the loss of his tongue.

Katsuki moaned into his mouth when their lips finally crashed together again, tasting himself, sucking on his tongue until Izuku was moaning right back. "Move already, nerd," he hissed against wet lips, needing more. Needing to feel that movement inside of himself. To spur him forward, Katsuki pushed his hands between their bodies and worked quickly to open Izuku's pants.

When Katsuki finally wrapped hot, damp fingers around him, Izuku moaned long and low and unbroken. "Oh god," he whined, stock still above Katsuki.

"Move, dammit," Katsuki growled, wrapping his free arm around the back of Izuku's neck and rolling his hips down onto Izuku's fingers.

The movement snapped Izuku out of his reverie. They moved together, Katsuki jerking Izuku off and Izuku thrusting his fingers as deep as he could into Katsuki's heat. Matching rhythms. Matching moans. Matching pitch. They had never been as in sync as they were in that moment, but they were both too blissed out to realize.

"Oh god. Oh gooood," Izuku moaned, fingers stuttering as Katsuki ran a thumb over Izuku's head, pressing just slightly into the slit before sliding down again.

"Hurry. Hurry. Hurry," Katsuki panted against Izuku's jaw, dragging his teeth along his skin. Copper and salt slipped across his tongue, and he moaned deeply. He'd broken skin, just a small scratch along Izuku's cheek. He screamed with Izuku's next thrust. "Fuck! Right there! Right fucking there!"

"I'm so close, Katsuki, so close," Izuku whispered, hips thrusting sloppily forward into Katsuki's hand. His hand had gone still in Katsuki, fingers buried deep and simply massaging that singular spot that had made him scream. He wanted to pull that noise from him again, but he was too far gone to focus enough to keep up the same onslaught.

"Come on, baby, cum for me. Let me hear-" Katsuki's voice cut off with a barely audible moan, his body going tense before shuddering with his release. Turning his teeth away from Izuku's skin quickly, he dug them into his own arm instead.

His fingers convulsed around Izuku, and he was following behind him with a shouted, "Fuck!" White liquid spilled over Katsuki's fingers, joining the pools of his already covered stomach.

Izuku carefully pulled his fingers from Katsuki, rolling onto his back as he panted. The smell of blood cut through the haze, and his nose scrunched in response. "Did you bite me?"

"No," Katsuki said, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, "Myself. God, I need a fucking nap. I need a shower too. I'm disgusting."

"Sorry about that."

"Say sorry again and I'll never let you in here again. I'll die before I open my legs for you again."

Izuku laughed. He tucked himself back into his pants and turned to face Katsuki. "Don't. Please."

"That eager to get your cock wet?"

Sighing, he placed a hand on the side of Katsuki's neck and tugged them towards each other. "No. I just don't want to know you'd be suffering like when I first came in," he said soberly.

"That's fair. That's a good reason," Katsuki said, turning to meet his mouth.

They kissed lazily for long minutes that felt like they stretched on for hours. Tongues slid into mouths and along teeth. Hands trailed over bare skin. There was no heat beneath their skin, just taking in all the years they'd missed out on.

"Get me a wet wash cloth, nerd," Katsuki ordered, pushing at Izuku's shoulder when they finally broke apart. "And you should change."

"I need to get my blockers and suppressants too."

Katsuki hummed his agreement, eyes already drifting closed. The breeze drifted through the open sliding door, cooling the sweat on their bodies and pulling the stale air from the room.

Leaning over him, Izuku pressed a kiss to Katsuki's forehead. "You should sleep, or eat something and then sleep. I'll be back soon if one of the others doesn't hang me from the trees."

"If they do, they'll be hanging right beside you," Katsuki threatened, but he was barely there at all.

Izuku drifted out without Katsuki even noticing.

.....

The fallout from Katsuki's secret being revealed was less than he'd assumed. It was easier for the class to accept than the school, but Aizawa and All Might shielded him from as much of it as possible until mostly everything had calmed down.

The media completely blew the story out of the water and out of proportion, and it had been harder to hide from them as it was from the others. The hero agency that his did his work study had been on a high profile mission less than a month before the news came out, and all the speculation came down to whether him being an omega had dragged it out.

Katsuki let everything roll off his back though. He had an alpha who wanted him, Izuku of all people. Being an omega didn't change the fact that he was the strongest hero for their generation.

Three years found him still dealing with the same criticism as someone shoved a microphone in his face after a battle. A battle that didn't even have any other omegas involved in it. "What do you have to say about the controversy of omegas on the battlefield? Do you think male omegas in heroes agencies has increased due to their inability to birth? Do you think they're trying to carve out a spot in the hero world because that's all they can do?"

The signs of Katsuki's approaching heat had begun earlier that morning, but the mission had taken precedence. So instead of calling it off, he'd popped a suppressant and blocker and went on his way. Now, more than twelve hours later, the suppressants were beginning to wane, and all he wanted to do was get home. He'd built his nest the day before out of that idiotic animal instinct, but now he thanked that instinct. It meant he wouldn't have to spend the time to build one when all he wanted to do was rest.

Ignoring the reporter, he took a moment to send a text to Izuku.

Me:

Heat starting. My apartment after paperwork. Bring snacks.

The text came back immediately.

Deku:

I've got it. Love you. See you soon.

Shoving his phone back into the pouch he kept on his belt for miscellaneous items, he glanced back at the beta still in his face. "What were you saying? I wasn't listening. Some anti-omega bullshit."

"I was saying-"

"You know what? I do have something to say," he said, cutting the man off, "What I have to say to all omegas, but male omegas in particular, is that being an omega doesn't define you. If you let it, then you're fucking weak and you need to get over it. Your actions will define you, not your omega so don't let anti-omega idiots fucking tell you what you can and can't do." Stepping around the reporter and pushing the camera out of his face, he shouted over his shoulder, "I'm done talking. I've got shit to do!"

Shit meant dealing with the rest of the victims and rescue operations and then submitting his report.

At the end of it though, he had a fiance and alpha waiting at home for him to get back.