#okay I keep going for ever and longer
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But Hunter tumblr account: likes my two posts about me adding their songs to my cringey fan playlists
Me: has a heart attack
#okay so they’re probably just on the big Hunter tag or smth#but damn#like#I’m sorry yall had to find my post about Donatello from tmnt#in my defense#30 plan is so Donnie#esp 2012 Donnie#like he would do that shit#he totally would#I’m gonna keep posting about them tho#like Robbin’ a bank is so junkiest tho???#him and roadhog after joining overwatch???#him joining overwatch and any other character???#and platonic best friend is so Boots an’ Bombs!!#solly being all nervous cause he caught feels for his bestie who is also the enemy????#okay I keep going for ever and longer#but I won’t#bug hunter#character playlist#fan playlist#shitpost#not even sure if that’s their official tumblr account even#like does bro have tumblr????#I overthink too much#damn
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I ended up having way too many unfinished fics to choose from for Shinsou's birthday, none of which were ao3-ready, so have this extra long snippet of my beloved ice cream shop au that I've spent way too much time on for a fic that might never actually get posted 😭
(the context here is that Shinsou & Kaminari are trying to get erasermic together, but Kaminari didn't know he was trying to set his teacher up with the music store guy bc he's only heard about him from Shinsou)
#long post#liza writes#shinsou hitoshi#kaminari denki#aizawa shouta#this fic is beyond a shadow of a doubt the silliest thing i've ever written#but it got longer than it was supposed to be and then took a weirdly emotional turn#basically like if an antisocial emo teen became way too invested in the failing ice cream shop he worked at for the summer#and the lives of its patrons to distract from other stuff going on in his life#i love this fic okay#i'm just using shinsou's birthday as an excuse to talk about it for the first time it's so silly and self-indulgent#but it's also pretty far on the backburner bc i have the next three fics i want to get done (hopefully) lined up#they just keep getting beefier than intended#shinkami#i'm tagging shinkami bc it could definitely be read as pre-relationship for them#another thing that wasn't intended it just kind of snuck in there#mha fic#q#ice cream shop au
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it's normal to be disappointed when you learn that your dreams are already dead. but just like a phoenix, our death will lead us to our own rebirth; and like a supernova, some deaths are beautiful.
#context is in the tags where i hide#which will be a lot#so uh#you all probably know about... my au.#all the team is busy. of course including me.#one's in uni; the other... idk. probably living his life.#as i mentioned in a previous post i've been missing the times when the group was still as active as how young people would be#and the youthful days i had in general#one thing i used to be scared of is change.#now i don't think i'm scared of change anymore. just dreadful but no longer scared#because change is inevitable and there's nothing we can do#so uhhh#go with the flow i guess#i always let the people i cherish live their own lives and i give them all the privacy they need#even if it means not being able to keep in touch with them#that is if they'd still remember me#whether they would or wouldn't that's okay with me#(no hard feelings everything is genuine and honest)#so... let's go straight to the point#the au would probably end up being solely written... that is if the art stuff doesn't push through#it's not like i've grown sick of those 'promises' i totally understand them i SWEAR.#i just don't wish to be misunderstood but like i just. couldn't spit all of it out in front of them#i'm sorry for being a coward#and if you see this... i don't know. probably tell me how you're doing? and either give me hopes that this could all still be sorted out-#or tell me if it's impossible at this point?#please just don't give me any false hope.#and... if we all ever don't push through#i'm genuinely sorry if i tired you or wasted your time and energy.#i'm sorry for dragging you to all my demands and perfectionisms and insecurities#missing entry
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first week back at school and ahhhhhh everything is a little overwhelming currently
- my living space is full of boxes i have simply not had the energy to unpack at all.... hopefully this weekend (but i have also been invited to a Social Event so WE SHALL SEE)
- this school year is going to have So Much Important Stuff happening inbetween the many weeks of practice placement
- such as The Academic Text
- AND i need to finish the big project i was supposed to have finished ages ago
- our teacher this year speaks swedish with a very thick french accent and i speak norwegian with a dialect, we really struggle to understand one another but maybe hopefully that will change over time.... please...........
- i'm stressed about Stupid Bureaucracy Stuff
- and im so so sleepytired :(((
- and it's too humid and warm for comfort :(((((
AT LEAST I HAVE CUTE SOCKS
purchased in a distraught jetlag haze and subsidized by my travel insurance. they're my favourites now
#swedenquest#everything happens so much :(((#but i will be okay...!!!!!!!! no unsolicited advice please#in fact i have been given resources for metacognitive therapy to fight my brain demons and im excited to get more into that#but also how am i supposed to read anything under these circumstances.#tomorrow is self study day and if i wasn't so stressed about Big Project I would've made myself stay at home and rest/unpack#ill simply have to compromise. sleep a little bit longer; couple hours of tinkering at school#take it easy but take it!!!!#also god i was first out to have kitchen cleaning responsibilities this week#which isnt Hard u just need to run the break room dishwasher and take out the trash BUT#the trash bags are the worst quality trash bags i have ever encountered. they tore at my touch.#i tried so hard to remove the trash from the trash cans in a neat and professional manner but it all kept falling apart#and next thing you know there's coffee grounds all over the floor and everyone looks at you with pity#i got some help but it was so stressful and Bad#and there's someone in the 2nd year who keeps emptying the dishwasher even tho it's not their turn and I WOULD DO IT IF U WAITED FIVE MINUT#they did this all the time last year too and it's like. i get that they're stressed out by dishes in the sink or whatever i really do get i#but it's really messing with the system and like... teaching everyone else to not contribute??? because they don't even get to??#AND i lost at minigolf with like 20 more points than everyone at my team#which i genuinely wouldn't mind except i dragged the average score down so bad we could never have won anything#FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL GOING FINE
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I feel like I've said this quite a lot the last few months, but as far as anyone in my past is concerned, I'm a whole new ass person. I'm happy and have found myself in the best way possible and, for some reason, that infuriates the toxic people who have long since left my life.
#jace noises#this is purely personal and im sorry#i try to keep it positive on my blog but i went through the ringer last night i swear#I'm good though#I've just said this to many people#i hit a certain point pre covid where i no longer gave a fuck how people saw me anymore#not in a bad way#i always do my best to make sure its safe spaces for people#i spend a lot of my time advocating for mental health#especially in queer spaces#because no one deserves to feel the same pain and struggles i had you know?#tldr i just know who i am as a person#and what my values are with healthy boundaries attached#and recently its ruffled the feathers of people who can't control me#im too headstrong#im never going to change who i am because it doesn't someone's views ever again#and ultimately if you are reading these tags#whether a stranger or a moot or whoever#neither should you. within reason of course#don't be scummy#before anyone gets concerned#i am truly okay
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DOCTOBER '23 ⸺ 「 7 / 31 * FAMILY 」
December 31, 1999
23:46
❝Hey Doc, I just wanted to say thanks again for inviting us over. You know, the twins, they really look up to Jules and Verne❞—both Emmett and Marty glance over to the living room floor, where Verne is sprawled out on his chest besides two young, bright blue-eyed children, playing with souped up toy cars on a holographic course that Verne manipulates at will—❝and Jen really loves Clara and—❞
Ellie's car has just crashed into the wall of the bank and Verne makes dramatic explosion noises, earning a series of uncontrollable giggles from the three year old who leaves the car half-phased through the wall. Curie—the longhaired collie—perks her head up from where she was slumbering on the couch and immediately hops down, padding over to where Verne and the children are laying.
Verne sputters when Curie sits down on top of a section of his holographic city. Some of the buildings disappear in her thick fur, only for a few rooftops and spires to protrude from her back instead. She wags her tail and it's young Emmett's turn now to be delighted by the sight of the dog as she cleaves fake buildings in two with her tail.
Emmett silences Marty with a hand on his shoulder and a warm smile. ❝You're family, Marty. You, Jennifer, and young Ellie and Emmett. Besides, you only get to see something like this once! We're welcoming a brand new millennium and there's nobody in the universe I would rather usher it in with.❞
Despite the obvious lie coming from the father of time—the inventor of time travel; even Jules momentarily paused in his channel surfing to throw a look over his shoulder at his father—himself, Marty only raises a brow before breaking out into a wide grin. They could watch the clock tick down to the year two thousand as many times as they wanted from anywhere in the world with the time vehicles, but this was the real deal.
The first time. No universe ending paradoxes waiting to ruin the celebrations, no 'let's compare the various new years' traditions', no extenuating circumstances.
Just them, the people most important in their lives, and a countdown that, for once, designates unbridled hope. The future.
We've made it. And though the temptation is still there to check, to make sure Marty's future continues on the bright path it has been since he finally listened and avoided that devastating accident, Emmett has managed to restrain himself thusfar to allow everything to happen in real-time around him.
❝I almost can't believe it, you know?❞ Marty says, and Emmett nods once, slowly, unable to stop the memories from flooding back. ❝That we've actually made it, and—❞
❝Emmett, dear.❞ Clara's voice rings out from the adjoining kitchen, stopping Marty's thoughts in his tracks. ❝There's only seven minutes to the new year; can you go grab the bag that I left on the counter? The camera should be there too! Marty❞—Clara finally emerges from the kitchen with Jennifer in tow, who is balancing a very large sheet cake in her arms—❝be a dear and clear away the rest of the snacks from the table, would you?❞
Both men nod in acceptance of their respective duties and Emmett pecks Clara on the cheek as he disappears into the kitchen. The bag is exactly where she said it would be and curiosity eats away at him; his beloved wife had clearly planned something else for the evening without his knowledge and he considers peering in at risk of ruining the surprise she'd clearly put a lot of thought and effort into.
The new year will be here in—he checks the wall of clocks, ticking rhythmically in perfect synchronisation—five minutes. He can wait that long.
Everyone is gathered around the table, staring at the cake proudly displayed on the table, where a big blue '2000' is written on top, next to the words, Happy New Year! Jen and Clara are a few steps away from them, looking incredibly pleased with their work, and Clara's eyes light up as Emmett places the bag gently in her hand, then joins the others around the table to look at the cake.
In the background, some announcer's voice drones on about there being five minutes left until the new year while footage of the clock tower and a gaggle of people are projected on-screen.
Clara pulls a small golden hat out of the bag for herself with the year written on the front in sparkling silver font, then hands a matching one to Jen, who immediately puts it on. For most of the boys, Clara produces a garish pair of sunglasses from the bag shaped like '2000' in various colours.
Verne makes a face but slips them on anyway, and both Emmett and Marty hold them up to inspect them as if they're suddenly about to explode in their hands in a shower of sparks.
❝Mother,❞ Jules starts, ❝you really didn't have to do this...❞
❝I know we have the time machines, but it's not every day you live the course of your natural life through the turn of a brand new millennium, so I wanted to celebrate. You only have to wear them for the photo, Jules, and you can take them off if you want.❞
Verne grins and throws an arm around Jules' shoulders. ❝Yeah, come on. They might actually make you look better.❞
Emmett slips on his blue glasses with a shrug and then holds his arms out to Marty, as if to ask how do I look? Marty laughs and shakes his head but follows suit, and there's a comment somewhere about how cute they both look, but neither of them are sure if the comment came from Jen or Clara, so in the moment, they decide they said it in unison.
❝Verne, honey, put this on Curie, would you?❞ Clara hands him a colourful bandanna adorned with confetti spirals. ❝And everyone line up. I'll get some of the clocks in the picture so we have the time and—Emmett, you're sure this timer feature will work?❞
❝Positive, dear. I tested it myself.❞
There's less than a minute left on the countdown by the time Clara sets up the camera and hurries over for the photo, taking her place at Emmett's side.
The flash goes off at exactly midnight and as the two couples share a quick kiss, both Jules and Verne make obnoxious gagging noises while the McFly twins stare longingly at the cake on the table.
A chorus of happy new years ring out among the families and as Marty pulls Emmett in for a hug, ❝Happy New Year, Doc,❞ somebody announces that cake is being served.
Emmett pats him twice on the back, smiling. ❝Here's to the future. Now, let's get some of that cake, shall we?❞
#in my canon we have decided the kids get much better names and c'mon you can't tell me that after everything doc (and eventually clara)#do for/with jen and marty mcfly that they're not going to name the kids in honour and memory of them somehow#i still want them (the mcfly kids) to be roughly seventeen-eighteen in 2015 so this worked for me#also 'ellie' is a nickname for elizabeth they went with#i think about this a lot okay#the brown family and the mcfly family - the time family - together#spending holidays together#ringing in this huge milestone new year because *obviously* he's gotta spend it with his best friend in the entire space-time continuum#sometimes.....i can write cute things okay#i did originally consider making this prompt marty agonising over his memory/timeline discrepancies with doc & clara#but i figured - i could always drabble about this later#ON ANOTHER DAY WITH ANOTHER PROMPT#&; a great idea can change the world 「 hc 」#god these really do keep getting longer.#i hardly ever write the family so this was a neat change of pace#doctober 2023
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset
#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul#and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately#been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies#and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl#im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired#it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand#and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife#and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre#and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone#but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn#bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief#i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling#and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it#like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere#im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues#to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back#and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe#a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated#who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that#it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable#okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc#one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm mention
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ebery time i let myself doze off on the couch then wake up gasping, i tell myself i need to stop doing it.
but, reliably, every night, i get too sleepy and too comfy and can only convince myself to get up after i've dozed a little. i need a little sleep to give me the strength to get up. but then. i wake up. panicked and out of breath. i'm so fucking sick of it.
#it's minutes of sleep i could be getting properly. in bed with my nightguard in. if only i could get myself to bed ON TIME#but my bedtime routine is so long and complicated#it takes 20-30 minutes to get ready and i'm sleepy NOW. desperately sleepy. unable to keep my eyes open another second#i know it's just what happens when the melatonin gummy i took hours before finally kicks in#it's (thankfully) not a sign that my sleep apnea is so poorly managed that i'm not able to properly rest#but without the giant hunk of plastic i shove in my mouth every night#the instant my body goes slack with sleep my throat closes#and i wake up even more exhausted. feeling disgusting and rattled.#all because i greedily stole those few minutes of sleep#i just need to make myself deny the immediate satisfaction of dozing off when i Get So Sleepy#What's The Harm? i say every time. and every time i wake up gasping and full of rot#i can't deny myself the indulgence#i've been reading Dead Weight by Emmeline Clein and there's a poem or a metaphor here#somewhere in my fatness and my indulgence in things that hurt me and the way i must've done this all to myself by being fat#sleep apnea is a fat diseas after all right?? not the result of a genetic defect i inherited from my father#the very person who was the first to tell me i indulged too much#well look at me now paul. i indulge too much on sleep. i indulge too much on breathing. i learned from you but i still can't do it right.#you couldn't do it right either but it's still my fault that what you taught me is wrong. why didn't it magically work when it was me?#i may no longer be getting fatter—and this disease only started rotting within me after my weight stabilized in my early 20s—but i still#keep stuffing myself with indulgences i evidently don't deserve. they wouldn't hurt if i DID deserve them right? but i only continue to#cause myself harm. just like you said i always would didn't you dad? you're right that i'm doing this to myself#so desperate to give in to my body's needs. but those needs are Too Big. they take up Too Much Space.how could indulging them ever be right?#personal#okay i think my body has calmed down from suffocation panic now 🙃#time to go through the grueling 30 minute process of getting ready for bed. maybe i'll even get to sleep on time
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love having those absolute stalker moments where two people that look as close to your characters as youve ever seen sit 10 ft away from you and then you have to pretend you're not staring like a fucking creep
#NO OKAY IM FREAKING OUT HELLO#theres many differences but like.. fully jensen and bryce#actually screaming#honest to fuck thinking about changing bryces hair purely bc of this mf#theirs is a LITTLE longer than bryces is but it works so well#literally their noses and evwrytjing guys im losing my shit#you dont understand#like.. their face shapes too#this fucking close to just drawing them so if they think its weird ill be like see look just coloring.. yk.. totally normal things#thats still so weird but like jfc im losing it#actually this is insane#the way theyre talking w each other and everything#the one w long hair keeps fucking w it too which is such a bryce move#YES i am full out stalking but idc at this point this is my only win in life#body types and everything jfc#im never going to recover#actually no its fucking crazy#yes youre watching me spiral into madness but fr wtf#im havint a meltdown what is this#i will be thinking about this forever amd ever dear god#im baffled#dont grt me wrong they were not the same#but artistically and stucturally it was literally them#the vibes amd everything i cant im done this is it my life is over
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.
#i truly dont know how much longer i can do this#NOBODY is helping ne#nobody talks to me at all it's like i don't exist at all to anyone#no one cares#no one feels safe#and to play in my Face too#im being suppressed and ignored#something in me has jist#lost the ability to fight#im nowhere near who i was a few years ago I've been completely broken#and im so desperate for love and connection with people i Know are not genuine and are even actively engineering my downfall#like betrayal isn't the word#my reality has been. a complete lie#i feel sick but even more than that i feel my Core finally giving in to everything#like even though i want to keep going something Something in me is like#'okay. that's it. that's all ive got. best of luck#i wont ever have a real friend#it's all gone. all my chances#and YOU KNOW WHO YALL ARE#Im so defeated#i can't do this anymore
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栽培 (Cultivation) - Wally Darling Short AMV/Edit (CW: Scopophobia, Disturbing Imagery, Blood?)
So after going through some of my favorite Utaite playlists a while back, I came across a cover of this song by the Utaite RAY MORRIS and thought to myself, ‘you know, this song and the lyrics really fit this guy, I should mash them together :3′ and now you have this~
That said, seeing as this is the 3rd video I’ve made now, I tried to put a lot of work and effort into it compared to my last edits (to the point I spent almost 3 weeks on it, from editing to getting just the right pictures, etc.), and after FINALLY learning how to use the Tumblr video option, I’m pretty satisfied with how everything turned out, so I hope you enjoy :)
As such, please make sure to heed the content warnings before clicking on the video, and make sure to give a huge thanks to @partycoffin for making this guy because without them Wally nor Welcome Home wouldn’t exist!
Lastly, just like with my Hu Tao edit, nothing in this video belongs to me!!!
The art I used is from both Tumblr and Twitter, and for a complete list of the artists I used as well as a link to their original works along with the name of the song in the video, pls see below:
Original Song: 栽培 (Cultivation) - appy ft. KAFU
Cover by RAY MORRIS, which you can listen to here (pls give it a listen, he did a fantastic job imo and this is one of my favorite covers from him)~
List of Artists Used:
@partycoffin (OFFICIAL ART : pls go check out their amazing art for their wonderful OCs for this ARG)!
@qep0ermint (FAN ART)*
@sealemoons (FAN ART)
@diamondnature2 (FAN ART)
@ClNsg79 (FAN ART)
@evilhal0 (FAN ART)
@catmochi_ (FAN ART)
@pbpanicbutton (FAN ART)
@then_i_didnt (FAN ART)
*Please note I put the ‘FAN ART’ tag on the other artists because I have seen other accounts impersonating the OG creator, and while I myself am aware of the different fan art used in this video (as well as that these artists made the fan art in question), I just wanted to let others know what is official and what is fan made to avoid making this problem worse. That said, in addition to checking out the OG creator of Welcome Home, pls consider supporting these wonderful fan art creators too!
#Welcome Home#Kudamono94's Texts#Kudamono94's Leftovers#video w/sound#Creepy#cw: scopophobia#cw: disturbing imagery#cw: blood?#Wally Darling#I hope that this plays okay for everyone!#I have trash internet and while I tried to make sure the video quality was as good as I could make it if Tumblr messed anything up pls let#me know right away and I will try to fix it!#That said seeing as this song fits Wally so well imo I think I might make a full AMV in the future with him set to it if I ever get the#chance/the time to do so!#However while we're on the subject of CeVIO/VOCALOID songs that could fit this series#another song I think would fit him is HAPPY SHAPE by Hachiya Nanashi! Aside from the potential ties to religion/cult themes the song's#music seems to go along with his whole aesthetic as well~#On that note tho I am aware that some of the official art I used is technically no longer canon so make sure to keep that in mind when#watching the video too! I just included it because the creator is super talented and I loved these pieces too much not to include them
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#i've about mcfucking had it#i am so lonely it is physically painful and i don't think i'm ever going to recover#the past like. year and a half has basically just irreparably destroyed me and i don't know how much longer i can take it#i am so tired and i just want to know what i did to make everyone hate me#i just want to fix it if i can#because i genuinely just cannot keep fucking living like this i am not fucking okay
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Thank you, younger me, for drawing so many things in which the lines were never quite right. It is quite literally the only reason I ever figured out how to get them right.
#And I imagine future me will have a very similar thing to say when I am them and they are no longer me.#original#something about zyr improved composition and speed hopefully#i keep wanting to use she pronouns for future me. probably bc that is what i do for past me sometimes.#but i really don't think I'm ever going to want she her pronouns again#I still don't get my lines exactly how I want them a lot of the time but I am at a point where I'm fairly confident I can#produce nearly anything I see in my head and capture the spirit of it in a way that makes me proud.#even if it takes a really really long time sometimes.#and although I don't think the art I made growing up was bad i love the phrase#' the road to good art is paved with bad art.' I think I saw it in a video by Bobby Chiu? idk.#and I like it because whenever I'm not sure about what I'm making and I get to insecure or perfectionist about it#*too insecure#I remember that if I want to get good at the thing I'm struggling with I'm going to have to do it poorly or just okay a bunch of times#and that doing this is my ticket to this skill I'm placing value on. also doesn't hurt that Im drawing things I love and I enjoy doing it#although at this point I really really should just sit down and study leg muscles for like a hundred years#it's one of the more longstanding blindspots of mine. that and literally everything that is not people.#as in locations animals objects scenery... did you know that most graphic novels have some or all of those things???#how homophobic that in order to show my characters experiencing such luxuries as plot action and context I couldn't just#drop them on a gradient and be done with it!#I've been drawing for like 20 years and only a couple years ago was i like... OH MY GOD I CAN'T DRAW A FUCKING TREE
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oh fuck lovebomb started playing and it set off my fight or flight instincts
#my post#i hear that opening Wom Wom Wom Wom and sit up straight in a cold sweat#i still hear it in my dreams sometimes#i captain chip do solemnly swear to fuck shit up to help those in need and to be the best goddamn pirates anyone has ever seen we need to#get these pirates inside now did we ever get a name for what theyre called the riptide pirates BAAANANANANANANANNANANANANAA hey guys check#this out YES whos laughing now fuckers fuck you ok if anyone can clear the gauntlet its the riptide pirates get to the center of the prison#thats your out we need to hget him out of here is he even still alive its worth a shot BLOW YOU AWAY gillion youre not actually the chosen#one chip i think youre irresponsible and incompetent and honestly youre a danger to everyone around you chip arlins probably dead and you#need to move on and live for yourself and your own destiny jay i think youre ugly and no one will ever love you gillion i think this place#is playing more than one trick on us its not us chip its this place stay back dont make me do this do what you have to hey there little nei#wait a fucking minute wait drey who put you in here it wasnt one of hey brother you have a lot of explaining to do but come and maybe ill#let them go and what if i dont come with you youd rather be a pirate then i will show you what youre up against you wanna take on a pirate#im right here stop please just stop if i come with you will you let them leave we swore an oath chip its gonna be okay discipline them jay#you wanna know my secret so bad chip i convinced the navy to let me go undercover i was just using you i dont care what you were before thi#youre a riptide pirate now what do you really want jay and just say it so i can fight for it i wanna keep adventuring with you guys gill#thats all i want right now jay because you are my duaghter i will give yoy a headstart but when i catch you you will no longer be a daughte#to me just another piratee BAAAHHH gill youre not going down that easy buddy were not leaving you behindAUAGDSHGH jay my anme is jay ferin#co captain of the riptide pirates im gonna trust my friends were gonna fuck shit up im gonna be the best goddamn pirate youve ever seen#i dont doubt it sureshot
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