#ok too much rambling you can stop reading my thoughts now haha

[can-of-slorgs]

Local owlbear, what she gonna explodee✨

[generalllimaginesss]

Beyond

Based on Leon Bridge’s song “Beyond” (one of my absolute favorites). I have so many unfinished drafts, so I decided to go ahead and finish this one. It’s probably terrible, badly proofread, etc., but, if you can, enjoy it :)

btw just about everything in here is completely made up from my imagination, so I’m sorry if there are inaccuracies or anything of the such.

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, birth, slight NSFW (not very detailed though), probably loads of other things but this is all my corrupt brain can think of as of right now

Don’t want to get ahead of myself

Feeling things I’ve never felt

It’s kind of hard for me to explain

Her personality and everything

Brings me to my knees

Jack Hughes was normally one of the most confident individuals. Not in a cocky or arrogant way, but in a way that he knew what he was capable and had to offer, and there wasn’t much that could waiver that feeling.

As soon as Dawson Mercer brought his sister to one of the team’s formal dinners since Ryleigh was out of town, every bit of confidence that Jack had faded into a puddle of self consciousness. He had always prided himself with being smooth with the ladies, but Y/N Mercer was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. Her beauty didn’t stop at her looks though, no. She had this ability to captivate Jack, almost trance like. Jack was hanging onto every word of hers, and laughing when she would be quirky or funny.

Jack had never felt this way before. Every time him and Y/N would make eye contact he would fidget with his button up, run his fingers through his hair, and he even caught himself biting his nails a couple of times. Nico picked up on this behavior immediately, and really everybody else that knew Jack did too. This was so out of character for the man, so it was easy to connect the dots to the new girl in the room. Nico decided to rescue his friend from himself, pulling him to the side, away from everybody, and checking in on him.

“Are you ok?” Nico asked, forcing Jack to turn his back on Y/N and pay attention to him.

“Y-yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Jack feigned confusion, but immediately began to grin. He knew he got caught, and couldn’t help but feel like this was such a boyish crush.

“Yeah that’s what I thought,” Nico chuckled. “Get it together or else she’s going to think you’re crazy,” Nico gave him a little liquid encouragement from his flask that he kept in his suit jacket and pushed his friend back to where the beautiful Mercer was standing.

Once the conversation was dying within the group, and Y/N had gone to get a drink, Jack followed. Y/N’s back was turned to him, so he gave her shoulder a feather tap with his finger. Jack subconsciously had moved over a bit, causing him to be out of view from the direction in which he tapped. Y/N looked over the original shoulder, and then to the other to see Jack. His face was beet red and he let out a nervous laugh.

“Sorry, um, I’m Jack, but you probably already know that since Dawson is one of my friends,” Jack was looking everywhere except Y/N’s face while he fidgeted his fingers. He was so absolutely mortified of his behavior, but as soon as Y/N opened her mouth his eyes shot up to her. Her voice was angelic, calming and he could sit and listen to her read a phone book.

“Yeah I’ve definitely heard some interesting stories about you. Not too bad though,” she giggled and Jack could feel his heart flutter.

“At least they’re not too bad, haha. Um, I just wanted to ask if you maybe would be available to go get lunch somewhere, or dinner. Really anything that works with your schedule,” Jack rambled on. His teammates, including Dawson, were watching the scene go down. It was absolutely painful watching the always confident professional hockey player melt into a puddle of goop before Y/N, but Dawson couldn’t help but feel a little pride that his sister was the reason.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Y/N replied with a smile.

“Awesome! Yeah just let me know when, or I’ll ask you and see what works,” Jack felt a little weight off of his chest and turned to walk away.

“Oh, you’re number?” Y/N asked and Jack could feel his cheeks heat up. How stupid did he have to be to forget to ask for her number?

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he apologized and handed Y/N his phone so that she could type in her number. He then sent her a text message so that she would have his. They exchanged smiles, but kept distance for the rest of the night. Jack reunited with Nico and Dawson, finally feeling like he could breathe again.

“That was painful to watch,” Nico laughed. Jack flipped him off and looked at Dawson, who sported the biggest grin on his face.

“I don’t know what the fuck your parents did to create her, but that is a literal angel. Can I please take your sister out on a date?” Jack breathed out, eliciting a laugh from his two friends.

“Yeah, bud. Don’t fuck it up though. You think she’s an angel now, but you don’t want to get on her bad side,” Dawson admitted. Jack smiled, so excited to get to know this mysterious girl that has him absolutely folding.

She shines me up like gold on my arm

I wanna take it slow but it’s so hard

I love to see her face in daylight

It’s more than just our bodies at night

But she’s really temptin’ me, ooh

It had been a solid 3 months since Jack and Y/N had started going out. They didn’t wear a label yet, and the thought of rushing whatever this was absolutely terrified Jack. He had been on the bad end of many relationships, but none of them felt like this. Y/N accompanied Jack to many NHL events and awards, and everybody always commented on how happy the boy was. He couldn’t take any credit though because it was all Y/N.

After he had gotten over his initial nerves, it was like the two had known each other their whole lives. They connected on such a deeper level than just “liking” each other. It was like everything in the universe drove them together. So much so that the physical aspect of what they had was no match to their emotional and mental connection.

Jack wouldn’t lie, there were several times where Y/N would wear things that just made him feel THAT way, but he always managed to keep those feelings in check. The two had kissed, but that’s as far as it had gone so far. That is until their date to the lake.

The annual Hughes’ lake house vacation was in full swing, and this summer Jack decided to invite Y/N. He had planned a romantic date for the two: a picnic on a blanket by the water at sunset. He had packed sandwiches, wine, a homemade charcuterie board, and candles. This girl really had him in the palm of her hand. He was willing to do anything to express the love he felt for her.

They didn’t dress up, both wearing their swimsuits, and that was the problem. Y/N kept glancing at Jack’s body, almost hungrily, hoping he wouldn’t notice. However, when she wasn’t looking, Jack was biting his lip and trying to keep his friend under control.

The dinner went smoothly, and the sunset was breathtaking. As Y/N started to talk about the beauty of the sunset, Jack couldn’t control himself and smashed his lips on hers, his hands cupping her face gently while her hands went to his sides. He laid her down gently, supporting his weight with one arm and letting his fingers caress her skin with the other arm.

This wasn’t like any other kiss that they had before now. The passion that exuded from their bodies was far too great to be confined into a simple kiss. Things got heated to the point where Y/N lost her top in the middle of things. Jack wanted so bad to continue to show her with his mouth how much she meant to him, but he couldn’t help but think that she deserves better than having this moment in the dirt by a lake.

“Y/N I can’t let this be our first time. I need this to be perfect, and getting dirt in places where dirt shouldn’t be is not how I want to remember this,” he panted out. Y/N was slightly disappointed, but her heart grew when she realized that Jack was absolutely in love with her. She smiled, placed a peck on his nose, and placed her top back on.

The walk back to the house was about 10 minutes, and they never let their hands fall apart. They laughed and shared longing glances as they returned to the rest of the boys.

Do you think I’m being foolish if I don’t rush in?

I’m scared to death that she might be it

That the love is real

That the shoe might fit

She might just be my everything and beyond (beyond)

Space and time in the afterlife

Will she have my kids will she be my wife?

She might just be my everything and beyond

“Dude there’s no way you two have been going out for almost 4 months and still haven’t had sex,” Trevor was absolutely shocked. He knew his best friend like the back of his hand, and he didn’t think that Jack had gone 1 month, let alone 4, without sleeping with whatever girl he was with.

“Man, you don’t get it. This one is special. This one deserves for everything to be perfect before she gives herself to me. I can’t let it be in some hotel room that we’re at during the season. Like she’s actually got me thinking about waiting until we’re married,” Jack admitted. He just couldn’t ruin this relationship with her.

He finally asked her to be his girlfriend a few weeks ago, and everything was going so good, but there still wasn’t a time where he felt was perfect for them to take that next step.

“Woah there buddy, marriage?” Trevor’s jaw fell open as he grabbed his phone and turned the speaker button off and put it to his ear.

“Yeah, Z. She’s perfect. There’s never going to be anyone that makes me feel the way she does,” Jack smiled at the thought of building a future with such a special woman. It terrifies him to no end to know that a single person has this sort of effect on him, but he just began to embrace it eventually.

“Do you have a time frame for marriage?” Trevor asked.

“I don’t want to rush things, but I’ve already bought a ring and I’m thinking about doing it when we go home for Christmas,” Jack admitted.

“Oh yeah, no rush, just planning on getting engaged this year, already bought a ring, but no rush,” Trevor mocked, “You’re so fucking whipped, it’s disgusting,” Trevor groaned.

“Nah, Z-Man. I’m so fucking in love,” Jack chuckled on the other end of the phone thinking about his girl.

“Yeah, whatever, shut the fuck up, lover boy,” Trevor was slightly jealous of Jack’s relationship. He could only dream about finding somebody he could love as much as Jack loved Y/N. As much as he was jealous, he was just as happy to see Jack be so happy.

The two hung up the phone and Jack went to admire the ring. A part of him wanted to pop the question tomorrow, but the other part wanted everything to be planned out and perfect. He also was trying really hard not to rush into a marriage, which was a terrifying feeling. Holding yourself back from taking the next step and committing your life to somebody that you are absolutely in love with…there’s no other feeling like it. Jack wanted her for the rest of his life, but he had about 8 months to plan for the most important question of his life.

I wanna bring her ‘round to meet ya

I think you’d like her kind demeanor

I know that Grandma would’ve loved her

Like she was her own

She makes me feel at home

The first time that Jack brought Y/N home to meet his family in Michigan was nerve wracking at first, but turned into memories that he would treasure forever. Luke knew Y/N, but the rest of his family hadn’t gotten the chance to in the 5 months that they had been dating. Schedules were difficult to work with, but when the first opportunity to hop on a plane with Jack to Michigan arose, Y/N jumped on the idea. If his family was anything like him, Y/N would love them.

Jack, on the other hand, wanted them to love her as much as he did. Not that he didn’t think Y/N was good enough for his family, she was perfect. He was scared that his family would be too picky. They expected a lot out of each other, and Y/N was perfect as she was. He just wanted them to see that.

Once they reached the Hughes’ home, Y/N was beaming, and Jack was admiring her giddiness to meet everybody.

They grabbed their bags, and Jack went through the front door. There was a chorus of “Hellos” and hugs before Jack finally took a deep breath in and out.

“Mom, Dad, Quinn, this is Y/N. We’ve been dating for about 5 months now,” he smiled at his girl who was going to hug everybody. God, he loved her so much, and he soon would find out that his family adored her as well.

Later that night, after everyone had ate dinner Jack got the opportunity to sit down with just his mom. They talked about how his life was going, the things he would change about his approach at hockey for the next season, and they finally got on the topic of Y/N.

“So Y/N? How serious are we talking here?” Ellen flashed a cheeky grin at her middle son. As much as she loved him, she knew he held a reputation as a slight player. She was honestly surprised that her son had a relationship that had lasted this long.

“Don’t freak out on me, ok? Let me explain,” Jack began. Ellen looked very confused, but nodded for him to continue.

“I’ve bought a ring,” He stated as Ellen still looked confused.

“Like a promise ring?” She genuinely didn’t think that it was a possibility for him to have bought a wedding ring, like the thought never registered with her until Jack began to rub the back of his neck and began to explain.

“Not exactly. I bought a wedding ring a little while back. But I’m not planning on proposing until around December,” He explained as Ellen’s eyes grew wide and she sucked in her lips, biting them to hold back a miniature freak out.

“Honey, I love you so much. I admire the heart you have and how you love others, I truly do. But what the hell are you thinking? Do you know how much can happen in 8 months? What if she gets cold feet or wants to break up?” Ellen was whisper-yelling at him, trying her best to prevent the others from hearing Jack’s little secret.

The truth is Jack knew his mom had a point, but at the same time nobody truly knew how close Jack and Y/N were. They spent every free moment together and supported each other in all that they did. He just had to trust himself, which is what he had been doing this whole time and it’s paid off so far.

“Mom, I just know that’s who I’m supposed to marry. She’s kind, thoughtful, so selfless. Like when I think about my life partner, there’s nobody else that could possibly fulfill that role. When I think about the person I want my kids to learn from, Y/N is the only person that I would trust to help raise our kids with determination and morals. Please just trust me,” Jack was practically begging his mom.

Ellen couldn’t help but smile at the young love. The mom part of her was petrified that her son would get hurt, but watching Y/N treat them with respect and kindness backed up her son’s words about the girl. She had also never seen her son like this, so he had to be telling the truth.

As she got up from the couch, she ruffled her sons hair and kissed his forehead. “You’re crazy, but I love you,” she whispered in his ear, causing Jack to smiled up at her.

“Love you too, mom,” he blushed at the thought of Y/N Mercer turning into Y/N Hughes.

I give up, I’m in love cryin’ out to you

Oh me, oh my I can’t explain

She might just be my everything

The eight months that followed after his chat with his mom flew by, and now here everybody was gathered at his grandparents house on his dad’s side. Even though his mom’s side was Jewish, his dad’s side still celebrated Christmas with them being catholic. He had made sure to find time and communicate that with Y/N so that they would be making the get together with one another.

He wanted to make sure that Y/N had met everybody in his family before committing to a life with him. He didn’t want to propose in front of everybody, but he definitely needed a little moral support from his immediate family.

Without any doubt, his entire family adored Y/N. She got along with all of his cousins and aunts and uncles, and his grandparents went on and on about how she’s too good for Jack. He fell even more in love with her, if possible, when he caught her playing Barbie’s with some of the younger kids. He pulled his brothers to the side while Y/N was preoccupied to let them in on his plan.

“What I’m about to tell you two must stay between us. The only other people that know is Y/N’s family and mom and dad, ok? Well, and maybe Trevor, but that’s besides the point,” He began.

“I’m asking Y/N to marry me tonight. I’ve got it planned where we’re going to the dock where I’ve got people setting up marquee letters, there’s going to be fireworks and there’s flowers leading the way down there. I’m so fucking nervous right now, like almost as nervous as I was the first time I met her. Please just talk me down,” he rambled on.

Meanwhile his brothers were in shock. They knew that their brother was in love, but it had only been about a year and a half since the two had gone on their first date.

“Look I know you need words of encouragement, but what the fuck, Jack? Why are we just now finding out?” Quinn was the first to speak up, slightly hurt that he was just now hearing of this, but he soon could see how much this meant to his brother, so he warmed up to the idea.

“I needed it to be kept absolute secret. Y/N couldn’t even get a feeling that it was somewhere on the horizon,” Jack explained.

His brothers talk to him for about 30 minutes before people were starting to leave the get together. Jack noticed this and gave a glance to his mom for their family to leave. Jack and Y/N hugged everybody goodbye and drove back to the Hughes home with the rest of his immediate family. They made it there, Jack texting all of the people involved in the proposal eagerly, making sure everything was going as planned.

As they all got out of the vehicle, Jack took Y/N’s hand, smiling at her.

“Why don’t we take a late night walk by the lake? Just a quick one?” Jack asked. Y/N was a bit puzzled, but pulled her jacket tighter and following her boyfriend.

The two talked, walking slowly towards the frozen water. Y/N’s laughter and constant gazing at Jack distracted her from that of the marquee letters for as long as possible until the lights caught her attention and she realized that she was walking on rose petals. The words “Marry Me?” shining through the cold Michigan night.

Jack’s hands were sweating despite the freezing temperatures, but he continued to lead his girl closer to the lights with her hand in his. He could hear her sniffling and glanced over to see tears steaming down her face.

Once they reached the wooden dock, Jack grabbed her other hand and turned her body towards him.

“Y/N Mercer, you’re my absolute best friend. You are the only person that I truly feel this type of love for. I miss you the second I’m away from you, and I count down the minutes until I can see you again. I’ve truly tried to do everything right in this relationship, not rushing things, waiting until marriage, and I just want to be able to spend all of my waking moments with you. I can not bear to think of a life where I don’t have you, and I can’t help but feel like everyday I’m not married to you is a day I’m losing with you,” With that he pulled the Tiffany blue ring box out of his jacket and got down on one knee.

Y/N was almost sobbing at this point, her hands covering her nose and mouth as she watched her best friend on one knee. He truly had done everything right, and it wasn’t even a question if she would marry him.

“Y/N Mercer, will you do me the absolute honor of taking my last name and being my life partner?” Jack asked.

Y/N managed to nod her head, but she didn’t think she could form the ‘yes’ if she tried. She was practically bawling and Jack was infatuated with her.

“Is that a yes,” Jack chuckled and began to put the ring on her finger. She nodded feverishly and leaned into him as he stood up. They shared a passionate kiss, the only thing that could distract them from this moment was the fireworks over the lake and the cheers from the house.

“Oh my God I love you,” Y/N cried as she laid her head on Jack’s shoulder and admired the fireworks.

Once the show had ended they made their way back to the house where they were not only greeted by the Hughes, but also the Mercers. Jack’s brothers and Dawson hugged him and the moms hugged Y/N. Y/N truly couldn’t think of better person for her. She loved his family and him. She couldn’t wait to share a last name with her soulmate.

Space and time in the afterlife

Will she have my kids?

Will she be my wife?

She might just be my everything and beyond

Jack and Y/N had an engagement that lasted 6 months. They both felt like they had just enough time to plan their dream wedding and not feel rushed. Their wedding was absolutely stunning. The cake, the venue, her dress…everything was better than imagined.

Nothing topped the moment, however, when Jack saw Y/N in her wedding dress for the first time walking down the aisle with her dad. Jack’s breath hitched and he felt tears stinging his eyes. He tried to keep it together, he really did, but when Quinn gave his shoulder a squeezed, and Jack looked over at tears in his older brother’s eyes, he began to let his tears fall as well.

Y/N was absolutely stunning. Jack truly didn’t understand how he had managed to not only catch her attention at that party so many months ago, but how in the world had he kept her.

Her dad had announced that him and Y/N’s mom were giving her away and he turned to hug Jack. He gave him a squeeze and whispered in his ear before letting go, “We love you, Kid.” Jack nodded and thanked him.

The ceremony was stunning, and their vows were endearing.

“Jack Hughes, before we get to the sappy stuff I just need to let everybody know how we happened,” Y/N chuckled, her voice hitching when she glanced at him, a tear streaming down Jack’s face.

“Jack Rowdy Hughes was an absolute mess the first night I had met him,” and with that everybody laughed, especially the Devils players that were there to witness the tragedy that was a love stricken Hughes Brother.

“I had always heard stories from Dawson about how bold and straightforward you were, but that night I feel like I knew who you were immediately. You were a man who’s heart held so much love that you couldn’t contain it. I’m so happy and blessed to say that you haven’t wavered, but gotten stronger in your love. You have showed me what true love should look and feel like, and there will never be another person like you. I promise to love, support, and cherish you until my heart stops beating. I promise to calm you down when you chew the ref out for bad calls, and to love you even when you are missing a few teeth. I can’t wait to begin this life with you as your life partner,” Y/N concluded, squeezing Jack’s hand as he composed himself enough to begin his vows.

He had been skeptical at writing his own vows, but in this moment he knew exactly what to say.

“I really wasn’t expecting you to out me like that, but I can’t say anything because it’s true,” He laughed, causing a chain reaction in the wedding guests.

“Y/N Mercer, I knew you were going to be my wife the second I laid eyes on you. I didn’t know how, or when, but I knew that when I envisioned my future, you were there at every important moment. If I’m being honest, I bought that ring a little over 3 months of dating you. Nobody understands me quite the way you do. Sometimes we don’t even have to tell each other how we feel, it’s merely a look and we know. I promise to always put you first. I promise to love you with every single fiber of my being. My life has been filled with so much love and joy since knowing you, and I can’t wait to feel that for the rest of my life,” Jack concluded.

The two exchanged rings and the priest prayed over the two.

“It’s with the utmost privilege that I pronounce you man and wife. Jack, you may kiss your bride,” And at those words Jack smiled at his new wife and planted a loving, eager, tender kiss on her lips.

———

After the wedding, the two could not get enough of each other’s bodies. Waiting for over a year to have sex had built up so many thoughts, and needless to say the two were always busy. After Trevor and Caufield had walked in on them in the middle of it, it was a known fact to knock before coming into their house.

The two weren’t planning on kids anytime soon, but honestly they weren’t trying to prevent it. Money wasn’t an issue, Y/N had landed and job where she could work from home, and they had just recently adopted a puppy that kept her company when she missed Jack during the hockey season.

After feeling like she had the flu for what felt like two weeks, she finally did the math of when her last period was and began to freak out. As soon as she possibly could, she ran to target and bought a variety of different tests, knowing that she was going to take so many of them to be sure whether she was or wasn’t pregnant.

She took about 4, leaving them face up on the bathroom counter as she walked out. She couldn’t possibly just sit there and wait for the results. After her timer on her phone had gone off, she nervously made her way back to the tests. She felt dizzy as every single one indicated that she was, in fact, pregnant.

Jack wouldn’t be home for another 3 days, so she successfully managed to keep her mouth shut about it while she came up with a way to tell him. She managed to get an appointment with her OBGYN and took home the sonograms that were made, the baby so tiny it was hardly noticeable.

She picked out a cute onesy, took a fresh pregnancy test, and placed the sonogram all carefully into a gift bag and left it out on the counter when Jack got home. He curiously walked over to the back and looked at Y/N.

“What’s this for?” He questioned, causing a smile to inch onto his wife’s face.

“Just open it,” Y/N replied, to which he raised his eyebrows cautiously and carefully removed the paper.

The first thing he saw was the onesy, so he was a little confused. But when he saw the sonogram and the test he snapped his head toward his wife.

“Are you serious?” He didn’t think that she would joke about this, but he was in complete shock.

Y/N nodded and made her way to him. They both had tears glistening in their eyes as they embraced. He pulled away from Y/N slightly and looked her in the eyes.

“I’m actually going to be a dad, and you’re actually going to be a mom?” He already knew the answer, but he just needed to hear it from you again.

“Yes, my love. We’re going to be parents!” Y/N squealed.

———

Telling everybody was one of their favorite parts about the pregnancy. Getting to see everybody so excited, and seeing all of the love that was shown to their new little family was amazing.

As soon as Y/N had a visible bump, Jack was obsessed with it. He would rant to it about stupid calls during a game, he would attempt to sing to it, and he would pepper it with kisses all the time. Sometimes he would accidentally let a few curse words slip to it, earning him a thump from Y/N, but she secretly enjoyed seeing him so fascinated with it.

When the bump grew bigger and Y/N struggled with back pain, he would hold her belly for her while she enjoyed the pressure being taken away slightly. As much as she enjoyed feeling the little kicks and flutter, the little one was running out of room to move around, causing mama to struggle with the basics like breathing and walking.

Y/N was at 39 weeks and was feeling absolutely miserable. She felt bad because she was quick to snap at Jack, but he knew it was only because of the life growing inside of her.

The Devil’s had just made it to the playoffs, but had a few days between their next game. Jack was weary to leave the house, even if it was to go practice. He was scared to death that he would somehow be late, or miss his baby’s birth.

After coming home from a pretty intense practice, he found that Y/N was walking laps around their house.

“Babe, you ok?” Jack’s concern seeped through his voice.

“No. I need this baby out. I’m losing my mind,” she groaned. Jack chuckled at this.

“Can we please have sex? I have tried everything else and it’s not working. I’ve tried exercise balls, walking, spicy foods, literally every single thing. I made a list from TikTok videos of things that can induce labor and none of it is working. What I haven’t tried is sex, though,” Y/N rambled on as Jack slowly made his way to his wife. He smirked and grabbed her hips as he led her to their bedroom.

Yeah he was tired and sweaty and actually disgusting, but if Y/N wanted to have sex then that’s what he was going to do.

After undressing each other, Jack laid on his back and had Y/N straddle him. They were extremely limited in the positions they could do, but being on top was equally enjoyable for both of them.

Y/N let out a low moan as soon as she felt him inside of her. She sat still for a few seconds, adjusting to Jack, but then began to bounce up and down.

Jack helped out when he could feel her slow down, supporting her under her thighs and giving her an extra push.

When they swapped positions to doggy style, it didn’t take long for Jack to feel close to the edge. Just as he was about to get off, he felt liquid drip out of Y/N as she let out a hiss.

“Babe that’s a little rough,” she groaned.

“Y/N I think your water just broke, holy shit,” he tried to stay calm, but he was freaking out.

Y/N wasn’t in any significant pain, it just felt like the Braxton Hicks contractions she had been enduring for a few days, that is until she felt a searing pain shoot through her.

“I think we need to go to the hospital,” She announced and Jack immediately got together the hospital bag. The car seat was already in the car, and they were off to the hospital.

They kept track of how far apart each contraction was, and it was averaging about 3 minutes.

Once they got checked into a room, Y/N was able to relax, following all of the steps of her birthing plan.

Jack watched in complete awe. He admired the strength that his wife exuded. She was incredible.

With each contraction, Jack made sure to let her squeeze his hand as tight as she needed to. He tried to help her control her breathing, and all he wished was for the pain to go away and for their baby to be here already.

When the time came to push, he could tell that Y/N was a little scared.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she cried to Jack. Jack rubbed her shoulders in reassurance.

“Babe you are so fucking strong. You didn’t come this far to back out. You can do anything, especially bring our baby into this world,” he encouraged her. That’s all she needed in order to do just that.

With 4 pushes later, the sound of crying filled the room along with tears from Jack and Y/N. Jack couldn’t help it, he started to sob with Y/N as soon as he saw the baby’s tiny figure. Sure it was a little gross looking with all of the goop on it, but he didn’t care. It was his family that they had built together.

“Congratulations you two! It’s a baby girl,” the doctor announced as he placed the baby on Y/N’s chest. Jack wouldn’t mind being a girl dad, he was ecstatic.

After Baby Hughes was cleaned off and the nurses and doctor checked Y/N out, the three of them had their own time together, alone, for the first time.

“So we do know what we’re going to name her, right?” Jack questioned. The two of them had discussed names for a while now, but Jack honestly couldn’t remember what was decided.

“Ella Dawson Hughes,” Y/N announced. Ella came from Ellen, and Dawson was obvious since without him none of this would be happening.

“Absolutely perfect,” Jack managed to croak out.

After a few hours, the two decided to allow visitors to come in and see the baby. The families were first, followed by just about the whole Devils team, then came the various other NHL players like Trevor, Jamie, Caufield and Turcotte. It was such a beautiful thing to watch these tough athletes turn to mush around such a tiny human. It was even more heartwarming when they hugged Y/N and Jack, filled with so much pride for the two of them.

When the last of the visitors left for the day and it was just Jack holding a sleeping baby Ella, and a sleeping Y/N, he let more tears fall. As much as he had loved his wife, nothing could have prepared him for the surplus of emotions his heart was going through watching his best friend become a mom, and seeing the result of their love coming into fruition.

Baby Ella scrunched her nose, letting out a small cry.

“It’s ok, my love. Daddy loves you,” he let her grip his finger and rocked her slightly, lulling her back to sleep.

This was his life, and he was totally in love with it.

[glacierbash]

transfem ysayle headcanons?? 👀

hi bestie hi you're absolutely fueling me today thank you so very much. okokok. so. i've been trying to compile my thoughts in a way that reads as mostly understandable but I just physically cannot, so please excuse my entirely disconnected rambles, I'm GOING to try and make a point in the end (and also i know that anything you specifically may know about ysayle is probably through Post Osmosis so if you have any questions about her ask me I will talk about her for actual HOURS) also final "disclaimer" that's actually just "haha funny story:" this headcanon first came to me in a DREAM months ago, and i couldn't remember what point I had made in my dream until like 2 days ago while talking with my partner, which is why I'm so eager to talk about it now. Literally came to me in a dream. ok with that all out of the wayyyyy

Generally, this hc comes from two different places: Symbolism in the story, and actual, factual, "wow this makes sense and I can point to pieces in the story that make me believe this." With regards to the first half, I point to Ysayle's overarching story: Desperation for change. So much of Ysayle's character motivation comes from this genuine need to see the world changed for the better, to the point of being willing to do anything that she deems necessary. She's extreme, but it comes from desperation (for you specifically, the best way I could think to describe Ysayle is Anders, if blowing up the Chantry was the wrong decision). Furthermore, all of Ysayle's ice theming--ice is something that can change, and remarkably easily, too. There is something to be said that in embodying the cold that defines her, Ysayle allows herself to live a more genuine life. She's change encompassed within a woman, for better and for worse. When she sees the white dragon from her visions as a child after everybody she knew is killed, she is almost reborn in a way--perhaps in this rebirth, she decides to live a life more authentic to herself.

and then, there's her deep connection with Shiva within the story. In FF14, Shiva is a figure from loooong ago who fell in love with the white dragon previously mentioned, Hraesvelgr, and chose to have him consume her so that their souls may never part. Big story about love, and Shiva's influence upon him is the reason Hraesvelgr remained a peaceful figure as much as he REALLY wanted to start blowing shit up. Ever since she was a child, Ysayle saw visions of Shiva and Hraesvelgr, and my idea was that she very much attached her identity to Shiva, even before she had the words to describe how she was feeling about her gender. As she grew older, she related more and more to Shiva, even as the visions scared her--this longing to be like her, even if she didn't know why. Of course, after Ysayle survives the avalanche that kills everybody she knows, what does she have if not her visions to cling to more? As Ysayle decides to rally the heretics to fight against the Holy See and try to end the war, she hails Shiva as a saint, truly claiming her as part of herself.

This connection to Shiva, this claiming of her, goes hand in hand with Ysayle fully embracing her gender identity, going so far as to conjure up a false god that is meant to be Shiva, this completely idolized being that is everything Ysayle needs to be. And then, when Hraesvelgr denies Ysayle's creation, claiming it to be a mockery of his beloved Shiva, is that not ripping apart Ysayle's identity? She has spent so long attaching to this woman from her visions, this figure she idolizes, to the point of, again, creating a false god to embody, only to be told by the one living being that knew her, you will never be her. It's beyond devastating--it is no wonder that it sends Ysayle into an absolute spiral.

Of course, what of when she shows of to stop the heretics attacking Ishgard? Saying "there is no more war. There is no more reason to keep fighting." it's almost as though Ysayle is peeling herself away from Shiva, trying to stand on her own as her own woman, being her own figure not dictated by this dream she wanted to attain. And then, come the First Flight of the Excelsior, wherein Ysayle rides upon dragon's back to save us? It is as herself. There is no Lady Iceheart, and the Shiva she conjures is not defined by her idolizing dreams--it is Ysayle, as she longs to be, desperate to save us all.

(And of course x2, this makes me even more feral for "Ysayle lived" aus, where ysayle is given not just a second but a third chance at life, and she doesn't feel like she has to earn it. Her life isn't dictated by war, or by loss, or by violence, or by dreams from her youth. She's finally given a future to decide what she wants to do. She's fought for her future and won. her old child-like self who dreamed of a better world, who wanted to know why she felt so connected to the white-haired woman from her terrifying visions, doesn't know it--but one day they'll be happy. one day, they'll be free. One day, it'll all be worth it. One day.)

[thefisherqueen]

Notes on Granada's Sherlock Holmes: the last vampire

This will be a tough one to follow for me! I barely remember anything about the story, except that it had something to do with blood, that a woman was wrongly and for rather racist reasons accused and that instead a young boy turned out to be the attempted murderer

Someone is burned alive in the opening scene? What? I don't remember this

"I'll stop if you let me kiss you". Wait. Isn't this her actual stepson? *a few minutes further* ok, that is not the mother, so not her stepson. Still very creepy behaviour from this boy. This comes a bit too close for comfort to me personally. People very rarely talk about it, but children can be the perpertators of sexual violence sometimes, as was the case for me

Ok, the next scene cheers me up. Laughing so hard about Holmes dressing up as a vampire and scaring the hell out of Watson

Why is everyone so scared of that grave looking man dressed in black? Don't understand that yet

Holmes, highly randomly: "This cup and saucers has been here for three days" he's so ADHD

Holmes: "Everything is better than this stagnation" *flops dramatically down in a chair* *assumes even more dramatic pose*

Poor Watson, he just wants some tea while Holmes is infodumping

Seems like Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke had the time of their lives acting this whole vampire scene, I love them so much

Holmes: "The world is big enough for us, no ghosts need apply" Ah, I remember that quote!

Why am I not convinced by Holmes' reason for being in possesion of vampire teeth? Never heard Holmes say 'uhm' so much *mind goes wild with possibilities* I really want to know that the team's thoughts were! Watson: "Did you put them to use?" Almost convinced Watson discovers he has a vampire kink here

Client: "Thank you young man, I'm not quite in my grave yet" Haha, love a fiesty old man

I adore Brett and Hardwicke exchanging glances and trying not to laugh as the forgetful client rambles on

Ah, there's the first death. Looks quite dramatic with all the blood! And oh, that stranger really had bad timing. And he's a descendant of a hated, cruel landowner who the villagers burned alive. Plenty of reason I guess for the villagers to be suspicious

So the baby died as well (they made this so much darker). Holmes and Watson go to the village to investigate and keep the village calm. Good concept, actually. Great expantion upon the canon story

Village life has changed so little over a hunderd years that I forgot for a while that this movie takes place in the victorian age, lol, until Watson named all the young influenza victims. Yeah, that was a thing back then. Not entirely related, but I wonder now how long it took before child deaths in villages really started to go down. The installing of sewers and clean drinking water supply made a huge difference here... but I wouldn't be surprised if it took a long time before all villages had the same fascilities as the cities. Anyway, as tragic as it always has been (and I read a lot of proza and poetry written by grieving parents), a baby's death still was nothing out of the ordinary around 1900. According to this graph on child mortality, 228 out of a 1000 children died before they were five years old in the UK in 1900. (compared to 4 in 2020. That's an astonishing difference)

Ohh, bats living in the countryside with lots of old buildings, suspicious!

The writer is very relatable. I, too, have a tendency to horrify the fellow people at my table with marcabre history and uncomfortable questions

Love the way Holmes enages the whole fucking pub. Loudy: "Surely there is no crime in this part of the country!" *dead silence*

The influenza epidemic running in the background really adds to the panicked atmoshere, that was a clever choice

What was that sudden hallucination (??) at the ruin? *some time later* Oh, all right. Glad they went with actual optical effects this time

I love the scenes where we get to see Watson in his role as a doctor, visiting patients - calm, caring, competent. Such a wonderful exploration of that side of his character

Oh, the writer himself is dead now too? That was quite sudden and unexpected. Damn. I liked him. He was creepy but in a good way. Third death and counting, because of course it's not over now

I hate how realistic this whole panicked reaction of the village feels. People see causal relations where they don't exist and do wild, irrational things when they're scared, we've all seen it over the years. I can easily see a group of conspiracy theorists digging up a just burried man in the dead of night and moving him

I like how it's not necessary the Peruian artifacs and beliefs that are portrayed as in themselves creepy, but what they become in the hands of two white people. I think you can certainly argue it's a portrayal of cultural appropriation

The finale felt a bit rushed compared to the middle part. Still satisfying, but why kill the boy off? (at least I assume he's dead). I would have loved to see closure in the village, especially for the parents because holy shit they lost both their children, and a bit more reflection from Holmes and Watson

I really loved this episode, it was so well done and may become one of my favs. Nice build up, delightful characters, a good balance of fun and eerie things. The only thing I can find fault with is that the timing was just a bit off, the middle part a bit to long and the ending a bit too short. Classic period horror movie meets detective story

[everybodyshusband]

Ok so I'm not really back to normal but I'm gonna ignore my tummy for a couple minutes in favour of talking to you because I've been dying to send another ask after your wonderful responses!!!

I'll send it in sort of bullet points bc idek if anything I'm saying is even coherent and this might be easier for you to understand? (Or it might not, I'm sorry) In my brain everything makes sense but then sometimes when I say it out loud or write it it's like "what the hell is she saying rn?" So here I go:

- that bit you wrote about swiss and Copia with the soap and swiss stops swearing even when not regressed... oh, it has my heart... Poor baby, I hope Copia makes it up to him with lots of cuddles! I can imagine them laying in bed, Swiss with his head on Copia's chest, as Copia kisses his forehead/hair/nose/whatever he can reach, and promises it's never going to happen again over and over until swiss believes him and eventually falls asleep... (He even drools a little in his sleep, but don't tell him shhhh)

- I understood what you meant about the part I thought I didn't understand in the rain fic! Ugh every time I read that fic I just wanna give him the biggest hug my poor baby... Their dynamic in that fic is so "it's rotten work" 'not to me, not if it's you' I'm screaming and sobbing about it 😭🥹��

- I will literally always enable you to ramble about any of your fics! Anything! I'm interested!!! I promise!!!! Anything you want to bring up??? Guess what!? I'm all ears!!! Always!!

-not gonna lie I felt pretty shitty all day bc of my tummy (and still do) but your super sweet responses and thinking about sending you an ask kept me a bit motivated (and distracted from the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I gotta work 😭) so thank you!

- I wanted to ask if there's a specific fic that's close to your heart or one that you like a bit more or one you wish got more attention? Because I'll get my greedy lil paws all over it in like 2 seconds flat and start discussing it... I think I've read everything you've posted but I wanna hear your thoughts on your own stuff too!! 💓💓💕💗💗💖💖💗

You're probably sleeping rn and you'll probably see this tomorrow so I hope you slept well and the day ahead is good to you! 🩷

ooh, my darling anon, i've been hoarding this and all your other asks for much, much too long, i am so, so sorry !!! please know i love and appreciate each and every one of your kind words, even if it takes me a very long time to respond 💙

under the cut because of length, haha :'D

i hope that by now your tummy has settled down a bit, i'm sorry this bout of stomach issues seemed to hit you so hard :0 (oh, and don't worry ! your asks always make perfect sense, my friend !!)

don't worry, after the incident, copia makes sure to give soooo much extra love and care to swiss. that ghoul is not escaping those cuddles from copia without plentiful doses of extra love and chaste forehead, cheek and nose kisses, haha !! copia is so very willing to reassure swiss that he's safe and that it won't happen again, you're right (and you're also very right in that swiss drools right onto copia's papal vestments, but not to worry, the stain comes out ...eventually)

ah !! i'm glad it's making more sense now :D i have a chronic case of the "does not write the things in his head into the actual fic" haha !! i agree that rainy deserves all the hugs in the world, it's a very icky headspace for the poor little guy to be in and he deserves so many hugs for doing his best to navigate it. whether or not he accepts the hugs though is another story entirely...

again, i hope your tummy is feeling better by now. or maybe it's been long enough that you've cycled around into another rough patch ? ooh, i hope not. but either way, i'm sending you so many good tummy vibes, hehe <3 (and maybe you'll take solace in the fact that as i'm answering this, tomorrow is a wednesday rather than a monday ?)

ooooh, that's difficult, haha !! the rain fic you mentioned before is the one that's closest to my heart at the moment, i think. but i'm also quite attached to my most recent ficlet with regressed aeon and zephyr because oh my goodness, i love their dynamic and i want to explore it as much as i can, hello ?!? and then on the complete other side of the spectrum i'm very proud of this t4t raindrop filth, haha !! i think because they're all my newest works i haven't had the time to build up an "ew, what was i thinking !??!" response to them, so i'm still feeling very good about these three. and by the looks of it, other people seem to like them as well, which is a nice bonus :)

thank you very much again for your lovely asks, anon 💙 they make me smile and brighten my day every single time i look at them !! i hope life has been treating you well, my dear, and i hope that you have a wonderful day/night depending on where you are in the world 💙

[quarter-life-crisis2]

I’ve just spent the whole of my weekend absolutely devouring this book basically. 200k words in two fucking days, I want to put it in my library.

Saturday evening when I started it, I figured I’ll stop a couple chapters in, fast forward to 8am on Sunday, I decided it’s time to sleep because I couldn’t see the words anymore. Very much a throwback to high school days.

I proceeded to sleep for 4 hours, after which I woke up and had to keep reading because I couldn’t stop thinking about it, even dreamt it.

2pm on Sunday found me sobbing into a [?!breakfast] burger in my pjs. That was rough, and a low moment to me personally, but according to my friend it’s cute how invested I get into characters. I won’t lie, seeing my reflection in the tv was fucking funny and I won’t forget it any time soon.

SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!

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The sob fest continued as the tears turned to happy tears and emotional tears. Baba song mountain conversations had me wrecked I was so emotional.

I’ll be honest, hobi was nice but I was never on board with it. He was too perfect, the humour was missing, even the spice tolerance, he just wasn’t on the same level. She kept trying to change for him. I knew, but I was convinced when she shouted at the kid by the pool and figured his alcohol tolerance won’t keep up with her. Plus a bit judgy.

The progression was just, omg I’m so overcome with emotion. It was just *chefs kiss*. The absolute awkwardness in so many key moments was incredible, the stumbling through their emotions, even towards the end, absolutely loved it. Even the first date, I just knew it didn’t matter, they just had to have fun together like always. That’s what you really need in life isn’t it? Someone to have fun during the mundane and imperfect moments.

The journey felt earned, the characters all so well developed. Her reaction to the drunk confession haha one of those moments where you’re like “this can’t go well I’m barely 35% through the story”.

ALSO, Anita is just my love, I absolutely loved her character, so unexpected. The interrogation scene I was laughing so much. “Aha go on you’re so close”. I loved how she was just curious and in peoples business but with the best of intentions. I was so invested in all the side characters, even the ones with a short arc. Jk going “why is everyone coming out to me also made me laugh”.

The details in the wedding, I felt like I could really picture the whole thing. The amount they just adored each other, how insecure they both are over different things, his lame Instagram descriptions haha I was aha see he can’t be too perfect, how much he loved her thighs and her in general, especially after hearing her internal dialogue. Made me look down at my thighs and think more positively.

Gosh I have so many thoughts, just when you read for 24hr with a 4hr break, all the moments blur into one ecstatic melancholic mood. I’m so happy with how it was, but I’m so sad I finished it.

I’m not allowed to start another story at 1am when I have work in the morning so I will just bask in the joy of finding a new favourite writer, knowing how many more stories I can go through.

I’m at a loss of words now, such a talented writer.

Ok I’ll finish my exhausted sleep deprived delirious ramble, I’m so emotional I could cry again as if I haven’t on and off all afternoon.

Tell Me What Changed (Master)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, language, sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else

Read on AO3 here or below

Part One (word count 18,561) Part Two (word count 22,573) Part Three (word count 17,993) Part Four (word count 14,805) Part Five (word count 14,935) Part Six (word count 26,439) Part Seven (word count 21,171) Part Eight (word count 24,460) Part Nine (word count 19,060) Part Ten (word count 29,670; split in 2 posts) Part Eleven (word count 36,762; split in 3 posts) Epilogue (word count 8972)

All done for now! More one shots or drabbles may happen and they'll get added here <3

[slitherbop]

.......Any papastuck hcs?

THANK YOU for giving me an excuse to publicly ramble about PAPA G AND CHUCK beware of Spoilers within ALSO HERE’S A PIC happy valentines day

When they met and Chuck was still Stuck in the floor, like Post-Chicken-Feed-Missing-Scene, Chuck would be RUDE as HELL to Papa G. But Papa G took it as realizing he’s just A Guy and was like AH MAYBE I SHOULDA BEEN GIVIN HIM REAL FOOD and then he does that, but Chuck is still a bastard to him. Not to The Kid’s knowledge tho, he only found out that Papa G knew about Chuck’s existence in the second episode like we saw.

Papa G literally just looked at Chuck and how Evil he was being at the beginning and was like OH YES WE CAN BE FRIENDS I LIKE THIS GUY cuz he DID save him and want him to be redeemed and have the last ring to be on the team... Papa G’s Immediate Trust.. like if u agree

I like to imagine that Papa G actually did have da iced tea with Chuck to get to know him :] this was Post-Chuck-getting-Cut-in-Half. Papa G is Very Curious about Chuck but Chuck’s still a rude little man at this point and Papa G laughs off his behaviour. Papa G might be f*cked up enough that he does enjoy his company, bad vibes and all

Chuck has NO idea what to make of Papa G here because no one else has ever shown him kindness or wasn’t annoyed at him. It doesn’t stop him from being a force of negativity though cuz at this point he still Believes he’s going to conquer the earth.

This ended up being like a timeline of their relationship and not relationship headcanon UUHH OOPS!!!!!

OK, Chuck actually likes that he calls him Charles it’s the special name :]

I’m prepared to be proven wrong but it would be epic if Chuck started calling Papa G “George” because he was there to hear that that is his first name and Papa G like with Tuna Sandwich doesn’t mind being called it, it’s just his name. Also George is my real name and I’d love to hear Chuck say. Also Also George and Charles are gay old man names

Uh oh I’m talking more about timeline stuff but some time after the events of the big showdown and they’re dealing with the fact that Chuck is deciding to stay here on earth, Papa G and The Kid make him his own living space there in the junkyard with them. Not sure where or what it’d look like but it means a lot to Chuck (makes this face -> 🥺) I’d imagine since his species aren’t given their own names / have individuality he wasn’t given a space of his own to do whatever he wanted with

Since they no longer have the rings, Chuck helps Papa G as an extra hand doing work in the yard (Papa G had to get used to doing stuff without being his own company :[ ) and Chuck ACTUALLY LOVES HELPING imagine that one scene where Papa G and Chuck are working together to build the ice cream megaphone truck, they’re both really skilled at building stuff and enjoy it so it’s like that pretty often!

I swear to god Papa G needs to get Chuck a wheelchair / make him one, I want to believe that he does have one and we just didn’t see it at the end of the time skip -_- :prayer: but they totally deck it the hell out (you KNOW Papa G is capable of making deadly death machines and you KNOW Chuck would absolutely love that sh*t!!!!)

Anyway back to the time skip relationship development thing: PAPA G SHOWS CHUCK AROUND HIS HOUSE I wish we knew what inside the house looked like besides the kitchen sink lol but Papa G figured if he’s gonna be around here more often he might as well show him where HE lives! Papa G is SUPER excitedly showing him all the weird stuff he’s accumulated over his lifetime. Chuck doesn’t Get the specialness of physical possessions and calls it Junk but Papa G doesn’t mind! He shows things and Chuck is confused about certain things (being an Alien) and Papa G is happy to explain everything to him.

Papa G shares Chuck his art and is showing him painting ;_; once again Chuck is a bastard and doesn’t totally get it. Papa G would definitely call HIM an artist, pointing out that all the building that Chuck does is artwork, those comics that he spent all that time reading was him appreciating the art, and that changes the way he views it. Chuck makes his own dam comics, I’d imagine the way he’d draw is very unique and the text is written in his language, and then it’s Papa G who doesn’t totally get it but is ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT!!!

Also Papa G totally takes Chuck out to the middle of nowhere to go look for junk, this is probably Chuck’s Least Favourite Activity LOL but they do spend a lot of time talking about anything, I’m really curious about what the kind of things they’d even say when they’re not faced with any threat and are only with each other *looks up at the sky in thought..*

Chuck please go off about your previous life away from earth I feel like as soon as he came here he kinda just accepted himself being Stuck Chuck and therefore had no attachment to being a nameless body in an alien army. Also Papa G please open up about your messed up secret history that warranted the government keeping tabs on you and made you live almost completely isolated.

See^ I think whatever they got going on on a DEEP LEVEL could be wild and would have so much to unravel, Chuck’s life before this was probably just 90% seeing various people DIE and was simply made to Kill people for his leader. And. you KNOW Papa G has something Messed Up about him + Is Traumatized / got “bad flashbacks” + the whole seeing himself die and being numb to it. And now that they are people who are trying to save lives on their team they could Relate to each other as the two older guys with UNKNOWN HISTORY!!!!

UUUUH OK SO SHIP HEADCANONS RIGHT. RIGHT. They hold hands :] they rarely kiss it’s mostly Papa G who kisses Chuck on the face but Chuck is forbidden from kissing unless Papa G wants to go to sleep. Also Chuck likes to be held by Papa G, they hug a lot :D Papa G takes Chuck out to the diner and gets him everything he wants <3 they go to the house and watch movies and Kid joins them too as a family ;_; Papa G goes to sleep in his god forsaken hammock with Chuck, and Chuck is like So This Is Your Weird-Ass Cocoon Huh and Papa G is like HAHA YUP and its sweet.

I’m gonna end this here thank you for reading, this is the kinda stuff I ramble on and on like this in private but I hope u enjoy some of my thoughts about this I think it’s a genius ship with so much potential and is my favourite thing right now THANKS

[ghostofasecretary]

weird day. Monday. 12.5.22. yes.

stuff i did today!

- wore an outfit from the List Of Outfits That Would Be Cool i made yesterday

- lost phone. went on a stupid quest to get phone again and got rewarded with an outfit compliment and my phone. am v glad i have phone

- [work bs static noises]

- made list of possible gifts to get work gift exchange person

- got news of my grandma's dx. not great!

- cooked dinner and my dad and i enjoyed it

- on Saturday i told my stylist my part was in a different place than it actually is (fatal error) so to fix it a little i cut some of my hair with kitchen shears (a centimeter too short) but also did not cut enough of it (fix later)

- called friends and played cards and vibed, that was great

- bought new glasses because apparently i need new glasses every like 4-6 months now

- was too Exhausted to call other people or send the texts i was meaning to send (sorry frondos) (maybe i can fix one of these problems later)

- watched the new episode of Bleach! really enjoying TYBW so far even though i do not remember enjoying reading the manga that much

- hugged my parents

- watered my plants

that's a nice list of things. or, y'know, there are at least two terrible things on it but i mostly did stuff!

i'm in that, like, "everything is horrible because One Big Thing is horrible but also there are other awful things in the background too" spot where any small thing is devastating? like i almost cried about losing my phone this morning and i was SO mad about it and then about all the other bullshit. and then the news was just--haha ok. ok. well. gonna uhhh kneel with my head on my bed like a Victorian protagonist, i guess! feeling overwhelmed and lifeless!

i want the things in my life to stop being in my life. and to welcome other better things into my life. and to have a fucking break.

the current level of anxiety and bad shit is horrid but it's not going to immediately kill me or fuck up my work life. i want better things for myself than this, but my current goal is to make it to February, see if sticking around was worth it and if not screech a lot, and then either way jump shit to a hopefully better situation. and also i'll keep an eye out for nicer ships that i might be able to jump to for, like, January. i can make it till the holidays. i can make it through December.

oh jesus fuck i'm getting hives on my feet now??? rude

anyways. um. i can also quit at any time and take a holiday because of the lifestyle choices i'm making and the privileges i have, so that's an option to remember. it would not be easy or long-term smart but it is a real option if i need to snap. and maybe the more pressing of the two bullshit issues will resolve soon and i will be less stressed and have a little more time for living and soul-nourishing study and stuff like that. we'll see. did i mention today was weird? today was weird. but hey, i did it! go me

there isn't really a nice conclusion to this ramble i just need to get my thoughts down somewhere and public felt better than private for whatever reason, so, here you go

[juyeonjin]

My Older Brothers

(Part 1)

Summary: Jeongin entered Chan's room but he might have wished of not making this choice, or does he?

Member - Chan, Minho, Jeongin

Genre - slight smut

Warnings - mention of porn, masturbation (male)

Word count - 1.7k

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Jeongin was putting back his last stuffs in his bag to leave the building and head back to the dorms. Before zipping up his bag, he rummaged inside and realised his phone charger was missing. "It should be in chan's studio, I was there to listen to some samples", he thought to himself. Leaving his bag on the counter he went to chan's room. Chan would be there for a while before joining the boys later since he enjoys the atmosphere in the night a lot as well.

Arriving near the door, Jeongin was a bit hesitant since he didn't want to bother or worry his hyung but without his charger his phone wouldn't even make it before the drive to the dorm ends. He knocked on the door three times but there were no response which lead him to think that Chan might have fallen asleep. He didn't try to knock again and instead opted to take the key to chan's room in case he has to enter and he is not there. However he only used it once and always tried to never make it an option to resort to it, since he believed he shouldn't be using the key on trivial reasons.

Still in front of the door, Jeongin was debating whether his charger was a valid reason enough to use the key and after a minute of reflection he just absentmindedly used it and unlocked the door with a thought of, "He'll be very quick, it's like he never entered." In front of his eyes which got twice as big, was not only Chan fully awake but also Minho and that wasn't all. .. ... they were both completely naked and busy. Both of the elders turned their head towards Jeongin when he opened the door but instead of maybe feeling interrupted like Jeongin would have thought, they both had a smirk plastered on their face.

"So finally you used the key that I gave you. I really thought it would forever be buried in the depths of your bag", Chan said sarcastically. By now Jeongin cheeks were fully red and suddenly the thought of his phone discharging wouldn't sound as terrible.

Jeongin: "I, I... I'm sorry, I was just going to take my charger, I'll just take it and leave" he stuttered.

Chan: "Oh yeah your charger, I was waiting for you to come get it."

Jeongin: "He was waiting for me? So he knew that I was going to come at anytime?" he thought to himself feeling confused.

Chan: "Look Jeongin, you know I trust you right?" Jeongin nodded as he got attentive to whatever Chan had to say with his ears still a very bright red. "Haha do not be worried Jeongin-ah, it's true that I gave you my key for you to be able to come into my room whenever I'm not there and maybe I wasn't clear on it but whenever means whenever, everytime, this room is also yours and all the members' and I should also precise when I'm here too as well haha"

Jeongin didn't seem to understand where he was going with this. Was that an indirect 'it's just one of those times where he shouldn't have come in' 'Did he mess up' 'Was he going to dissapoint Chan'

And before he could go on with his mental rambling Chan continued, "Do not be worried, you did nothing wrong" ,as if he read his younger brother's face, "Actually it might be the contrary"

Contrary? What was that even supposed to mean? Jeongin questioned himself.

Chan: "Haha, stop feeling intimidated", again he read Jeongin's expression accurately, "Before you begin to question yourself even more, just close the door and sit down next to Minho"

Minho gave him a smile while tapping the seat next to him and then he said jokingly, "Aha Jeongin-ah we are your brothers you shouldn't feel embarrassed by such things"

Chan who was on his chair then proceeded, "Well Jeongin, I was always going to try and talk to you but I just never knew how to so I thought maybe one day if you walk in on me, or us in this situation, I would just have to go on with it and talk to you." Minho nodded in agreement with his playful smile as he enjoyed this exchange that he had no intention of interfering. .. ... for now at least.

Chan: "Of course, it is without saying that I would give you my key nonetheless but hey, it's not like you ever used it that much too right!?" he finished off with a fake angry tone. After a look at Jeongin's face he realised that his attention was being partially drifted away to what was behind him and that was just the right occasion for him to get into what he wanted to say.

Chan: "Enjoy what you see...?" he said teasingly and which made Jeongin move his eyes quickly to him Chan, to the screen and onto the floor. His ears who were just fading into pink burned like hot flame all over again and Minho had to comment on that of course, "Haha, look what you did to him Hyung, his ears are going to melt at this point."

Chan: "Jeongin-ah it's alright" he said while slightly moving away from the screen to show it more. "From what I'm noticing you love big asses too" he said ending with a laugh which Minho joined too as well. Minho was right if his ears were going to melt before now they were on the verge of evaporating all the way. Chan then urged Minho to switch places with him so he could be closer to Jeongin.

Chan: "Hey, it's alright, me and Minho do it all the time", he then asked, "Do you know what we were doing maybe", Jeongin looked him in the eyes nervosity invading his lips as he was pushing himself to finally talk after all this time being silent. "You were both masturbating?" he said with his heart nearly leaving his chest.

Chan: "Oh so I see you didn't need me or Minho then haha", a comment that made Jeongin turn to the opposite side, clearly not knowing how to respond to that. "Hey, I'm just playing with you, now let's just forget about all this awkard moments that just happened when you entered okay?"

Jeongin briefly thought of it and realised that the peak of his embarassment was over and that he shouldn't be shy with his hyungs who clearly are not. Jeongin, "Ok so should I take a charger and go, I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Chan: "Ah.. I know you won't tell anyone but yeah you can leave if you want but we both wouldn't mind you stayin."

Jeongin felt a different kind of heat rising in him, not that of embarassment but something else. He felt his pants becoming a bit too tight and the urge to say yes was not that bad anymore.

Minho: "Looks like he wants to stay then," he joked.

Chan: "So you will stay with us?"

Jeongin shyly nodded which earned him the biggest smirk from his hyungs.

Minho: "Ha! I told you he would be tempted with some hot ass", he directed to Chan as if winning a bet and Jeongin chuckled to that, his first not-so-shy act of the night.

Chan: "So let's do it then!"

Minho left the chair and went to sit on the right corner of the couch, while Chan got up to put the porn back on. He then slightly turned to Jeongin and laughed, "Yes you can take your clothes off now, put them over this table where Minho's clothes are as well."

They were now all three sitting on the couch with Chan on the left side, Minho on the right side and Jeongin in the middle. The two members were beginning to stroke their cocks while the porn was blasting in the soudproof studio and Jeongin was only savouring the video letting each erotic pulsation flow throughout his body. His cock was twitching and his pre-cum was dripping onto his stomach. He felt a pleasing sensation building up in his dick but thought that would be the end of it.

Chan: "You haven't jerked off yet right?"

Jeongin nodded.

Minho also turned to look at them and Chan handed Jeongin his bottle of lube which he grabbed and poured on his hand.

Suddenly the pornographic sounds were just background music as they both anticpated for Jeongin to begin his sexual discovery. As if a parent to their child winning a trophy, they were both proud to see Jeongin start his adulthood and see him mature and also join them into theid adultventures *cough*.

He began to stroke and it felt like the entry to a new world, the secret to an old mystery, the answer to a longing question or how the members would say, the key to chan's room.

Chan: "Feels good right!?"

Jeongin: "Yeah..." he said in a low breath as he was in complete awe of how wonderful this felt and this new sensation to him had his blood rushing at an immense speed.

Minho: "Hey why don't we cum at the same?" he said jokingly.

Chan: "Sounds good, what do you think Jeongin-ah?"

Jeongin nodded in agreement and all three of them jerked off to the scene in front of them, holding back when the urge to cum got close by going at a lower speed or briefly stopping their movement.

Minho: "I'm ready to cum!" he alerted.

They both turned to Jeongin who knew what they were going to ask and nodded signalling that he was too and just after a few seconds of quick pumping all three of them ejaculated at the same time earning deep grunts from the oldest while Jeongin was just moaning soundlessly. Thick ropes of cum felt onto their stomachs and on the couch leaving all three to take deep breaths to calm down from this intense session.

Minho: "Wow that was great! Right Jeongin-ah" he said tapping his arm with his elbows.

The embarrassment that would be taking over Jeongin was now more a lighthearted one and he responded quietly, "yeah, yeah it was really great, I agree"

He then continued with what left his two brothers in a state of delightful surprise, "Can we do another one."

[theji]

Things Yizhan Made Me Do

It's BXG Day today! 🐢💛

To commemorate the occasion, I thought of making a list of 13 out-of-character things that I've done since falling into the fandom. (OK I'm a bit late I meant to do this sooner, the day is ending soon in a couple of hours).

1. Start a blog

And a public one, no less. I had a blog when I was in my teens but that was private, like a personal diary. My day job already involves writing so off-work I would usually like to indulge in mindless activities. Now, here I am, maintaining a Yizhan blog. I have not even used Tumblr prior to this but I'm enjoying it now, rambling about our fav boys. Writing is not a chore if it's about them.

2. Join a fandom

I joined a boy band fan club once upon a time, some 15 years ago, but I was never as invested in it as I am now with Yizhan. Back then it was just buying some merch, attending their concert/autograph sessions, listening to their songs. Apart from work, dog mum duties, personal relationships, other hobbies like kombucha brewing, most of my free time is now spent on the fandom. My Netflix account is crying. There is just so much to do and catch up on (I'm not complaining). I also enjoy interacting with and learning from other bloggers here. Antis are no fun and some industry news/developments/hate messages are upsetting but ultimately, you curate your own fandom experience. And I choose positivity and rationality.

3. Indulge in RPS

I don't ever 'ship'. What is 'ship'? 😆 I was always a dutiful audience, just enjoying whatever drama series and moving on after that. I started with CQL like most people and I didn't even notice/like GGDD until much later. Didn't even set out to 'ship' anyone but now I'm a self-professed turtle. SZD is SZD, and anyone can see something special between them if you keep an open mind. I wrote about my SZD reasons here previously. That said, GG & DD are individuals, each with their own successful careers. They come first, the ship comes second. That I'm very clear of.

4. Use Chinese apps

Gosh, my phone and tablet are now full of Chinese apps. I used to have only WeChat cos I needed it for work but now I have Weibo, Oasis, Douyin, WeTV, MangoTV, Youku, etc. Some of them are not even available in the app store so I had to find alternative sources to download them. haha..I even have paid membership for some of these apps. And now, browsing Weibo daily becomes a routine. If you wish, you can just get stuck browsing Weibo for a long long time. It's entertaining.

5. Read fan fic

I only started about 6 months ago but now I'm hooked and fics are largely the only thing I read these days, apart from news. But I only read Yizhan or WangXian fics (p.s. calling for fic recs of other pairings!) I know some might have different feelings about fan fics but to me, I really just see them as fiction, with characters (and sometimes traits) bearing similarities to GGDD. Similarly, I separate the platform from the incident so I have no problems going to A03 despite GG's incident. I just enjoy seeing the characters named XZ/WYB having happy endings in many different timelines and universes. While most of the fics I read are explicit (by design), I don't use them as tools to play out certain fantasies or to think of GGDD in a sexual manner. In fact, I really hate fics that have little substance and just go into the explicit parts without plot development. I like those with interesting premises too, like one I read recently where XZ is a serial killer and WYB is a police officer investigating the case but also in love with him. I do have plans to share my list of fav fan fics some time down the road so keep an eye out for it!

6. Willingly read Chinese

Yes, Chinese may be my mother tongue but I don't use it much in daily living unless I have to. I also find it tedious to read Chinese cos the characters are just so squashed together. If I have a choice, I will always pick English. But now, I read so much Chinese from my daily weibo browsing. I even read fan fics in Chinese! Who am I? On the plus side, I think my Chinese comprehension and translation skills improved. I also picked up some internet lingo used by Chinese netizens, which are pretty interesting like doi, 🐮🍺, 🖍. My all-time fav is yyds.

7. Act like a cougar

In real life, I have always maintained that younger men are childish. At least those I have encountered. But look at me now, fangirling over two younger men (I am closer in age to GG, but still..). I even jokingly call them my 'China Boyfriends'. I look at them very respectfully most of the time.

8. Buy merch

Seriously, once you start, you can't stop. At least that was what happened to me, although I'm still quite selective when it comes to supporting their endorsements. I usually go for consumables like food, cosmetics vs collectibles cos I'm more practical. Also, GG says to support their merch within reasonable means so that's what I'm doing. Just buying things that I'm interested to try and not because it has their faces or names slapped on it. In a way, this suits me cos I like trying new brands and stuff anyway.

9. Keeping a Yizhan archive

Photos, weblinks, videos, songs, fan fics list..my phone is full of these things now. I think my Yizhan photo gallery is only second to the folder with my dogs' pictures. But how can you resist when we are blessed with new pics of them almost every week?

10. Camp for livestreams

I'm lucky I live in the same time zone as the boys so I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch something. But that's the thing, being in the same time zone sometimes make me feel like I HAVE to watch that thing live because, why not? Why wait? Not shy to admit that I once watched a live programme in the middle of work but I made sure I finished what needed to be done. I think so long as we don't let these livestream schedules run our lives, there's no harm in camping for them.

11. Watch c entertainment

I am one of those who used to pass over Chinese productions, simply because it's a Chinese production. Not in a scoffing manner but I'm just genuinely not interested in them nor the celebs. I was more of a US/UK production kind of person, occasionally Korean/Japanese. Now, I'm learning to enjoy them although I just watch those with GGDD in them. No energy to follow other Chinese celebs anyway. The other programme I'm contemplating watching even if it doesn't have them in it is Who's the Murderer (GG was only in one of the cases) cos I like the premise. On the flip side, now my sis and partner keep making fun of me cos to them, all I do now is "watch China shows". That is so not true. Or is it?

12. Write fan mail

I wrote a letter to GG once. A long-ass letter. I hope he read it. That's all I'm gonna say. 🙈 hahahahaha

13. Desire to visit China

China was never on my list of to-visit places. Just wasn't interested. I have been to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou a few times in the past for work but even then, I never felt the urge to revisit for leisure. Now, I wanna visit GG and DD's home town, visit Chongqing to see the graffiti wall with Bobii Zanbii on it, eat mala hotpot and try out their sauce recipe, attend BXG events, dine at the CQL restaurant... Watching TTXS also made me realise that there are many beautiful places in China with natural landscapes and all that. I used to be clouded by my disdain for the regime and some behaviour of its citizens but now, I recognise that the country is separate from the regime or a smaller group of poorly behaved citizens. China is a beautiful country and I would love to visit some day. I will fly over immediately on my own if someone gives me tix to ADLAD!!

Well, I hope some of these things resonate with you. Feel free to share the OOC things that Yizhan made you do.

Once again, Happy BXG Day! 🐢💛🐆🐇🐷🌶🦁🍑🐶🍍🛹🎋

[fenristheorem]

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't explain myself well, it's mostly Gardienne with a fever that makes her delirious (this mostly because it would be funny) but if you prefer one where she has difficulty moving (I love the physical contact with Lance, I apologize ) By the way I love how you write! I'm glad there are such talented people in the fandom <3

Don't worry about it! I wanted to check just in case I was reading the original ask wrong because this sounded like such a fun ask to write and I wanted to make sure it was what you were looking for lol.

Thank you so much for the compliment, it truly means a lot to me! ❤

I decided to write two headcanon topics; one for Lance taking care of Guardienne who's feverish and delirious and the second where she's too weak to move. They both sounded so tempting to write lol.

These both are a bit of a scenario-headcanon hybrid (it seems I’ve liked writing those recently), but I’m certainly not disappointed by it. I really wanted to be specific throughout for the sake of adding in moments of humor and adding depth (which made it a bit of a scenario), but they do sort of evolve into more traditional headcanons in time.

~Under the cut~

Lance with Guardienne who's feverish and delirious:

Oh by the Orcale; how did this happen?

Guardienne was feeling fine... and then she wasn't.

Ewelein wasn't very surprised - somehow she always gets hurt, or sick, or something. She tells Guardienne to isolate herself, rest, and overall not do anything. Ewelein knows there’s a risk that this advice will be ignored, but she figured Guardienne may at least have enough sense to heed her warning.

And then Guardienne starts complimenting the birds that are singing in the Infirmary...

"Get me Lance, I need to speak with him about Guardienne's condition."

Upon hearing news that his partner has fallen ill - and knowing that Ewelein wouldn't send for him about something so common and otherwise not of much worry - Lance entrusts a few last responsibilities of the day to a couple seasoned warriors and heads swiftly to the Infirmary. Upon entering, the Elven nurse immediately pulls him to a quiet corner of the room and explains that Guardienne has a very high fever that’s making her delirious. She’s been irritated, apathetic, and is even experiencing hallucinations, rambling about those hallucinations, then proceeding to forget about hallucinations that she was just rambling about, and she’s - despite having a fever - been restless and walking around, trying to chase after those hallucinations and putting herself in danger.

Lance is quiet as he looks at her like she just said that the sky was falling.

“What do you mean she has a major fever but is walking around? How is that possible, or safe? Shouldn’t she be subdued?”

“Illness is a strange thing, Lance. I can’t give a real reason aside from that’s just her way of coping with the discomfort of the fever right now, and again, she’s hallucinating so that doesn’t help either. I would give her a sedative but I’m not sure I trust the possible side effects with her current condition.”

“Eweleeeeiiiiin...” A hoarse, scratchy voice called for the nurse from an isolated bed further in the Infirmary. Ewelein looked towards where it came from before glancing back to Lance with a ‘please help me’ expression.

She led him back to the isolated bed and they found Guardienne - pale and heavily sweating, it was very clear that she was sick - sitting on the mattress, shifting through the thin blanket that was laid over her. It seemed like she was searching for something...

Ewelein did a few quick checks and let Guardienne nudge around the blankets as she explained to Lance that she needed someone to keep a consistent eye on her, as she couldn’t do that due to her other responsibilities.

Lance hesitated as his thoughts flicked to his typically busy schedule, but he couldn’t just leave his partner to suffer this without doing something. He could find someone to carry out his typical responsibilities, and Huang Hua will certainly understand when she sees Guardienne’s high-maintenance conditions herself.

“I can watch out for her. I’ll take a few days off-” “The birds - the birds are getting loud...” “-to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself by accident.”

“Thank you, I’m so sorry to ask this of you but with this illness going around-” “The birds are screaming.” “-the other nurses are too busy for us to have a constant eye on her. Fortunately she’s the only case this severe.” “Ewelein can you make the birds stop screaming? I think it’s upsetting the wall rat.”

Lance was about to reply to the nurse when Guardienne mentioned the birds and the wall rat, instead lowering himself by her side to try and look her in the eyes as alarm filled his being.

“What wall rat?”

Guardienne’s eyes flicked to his and she brightened, leaning to the side - teetering all too close to the edge of the bed - to rest against his abdomen and loll her head up to look at him as he straightened.

“Laaannce. Oh, you’re the pretty icy dragon, can you get rid of the birds? You have the big sword. The wall rat is angry at them and it keeps chewing at the rocks and the fluffy things are scuttl.... they’re around... in - trying to steal... why is it so bright, turn off the sun it’s burning.”

Lance nearly loses his breath as Guardienne just rambles and gazes dazedly around the room, shocked by how such a vibrant woman was now rendered nearly helpless. She’s making absolutely no sense.

He steels himself and decides here and now that he needs to take care of her. She has no sense of reality right now, and he needed to be here to make sure she would be alright. He gently took her chin to tilt her head back so he can look into her eyes again.

“What are the fluffy things doing? What rocks is the wall rat chewing at?” Guardienne stares at him for a moment with drifting eyes.

“What... the fluffy... no wall rat, no stones, the fluffy things... haha, how did you come up with that? You’re not usually funny, haha...”

Anxiety and distress for his partner settles heavily in his chest as he observed her continuously disturbing condition. He looks back towards Ewelein as she explains that she’s been providing Guardienne with a treatment. It’ll take a few days before it will begin to work, though - if it even does work. Lance was about to reply when Guardienne cut him off.

“The birds are loud, the birds are loud. Oww, someone please make the birds quiet.” She covered her ears with her hands and tucked her chin to her chest. Lance adjusted her gently and leaned her to lay back on the bed so she wouldn’t fall over the side.

“I’m not sure what to do about the birds... she’s kept talking about them. They seem to only be in the Infirmary because she didn’t complain about them when she wandered into the hall earlier.”

“She wandered into the hall earlier!?” Alarm shot through him again.

“Yea, Adalric seemed to argue her point though. He told her that the birds are everywhere, even inside her... Thankfully she doesn’t seem to have taken any attention to that.” Now exasperation.

“Ok, how about this; I’ll settle my plans with Huang Hua for the next few days and take Guardienne to my room so I can watch her constantly. I can stock up on a few basics from Karuto so I don’t need to leave her and set someone in charge of running meals to us from the Dinning Hall. She won’t ever be alone and she won’t need to go out anywhere. I’ll send a companion immediately if we need help of any kind.”

“May the Oracle bless you, Lance. You’re a lifesaver. Please don’t get sick, though.” She persistently thanked him more as she explained a basic routine so Guardienne can recover. Healthy food, don’t let her get too hot - not a problem, he’s an ice dragon - don’t leave her alone, and the medicine should begin to take effect in the next few days.

Lance responded by saying that it was no trouble - there was no way he was not taking care of Guardienne at this point - and quickly headed out to find Huang Hua while Ewelein could spend a bit of time watching Guardienne. Fortunately she was in the Dinning Hall, talking with a few other members of the Guard, including Karuto. He walked over with a brisk note in his step and stopped in her line of sight when he was a few feet away, signaling that he needed to talk to her.

Kindly, she stepped out of the conversation as the others kept talking - and Lance spotted a warrior within his guard that he trusts before waving them over as well. He quickly - but modestly - explained the situation and they both understood, Huang Hua even offered to persuade Karuto to share a few food items as Lance explained to his colleague what he needed to do the next few days. Once everything was set, he brought the food back to his room - storing it safely in a cabinet - and went back to retrieve the sick Guardienne. 

Many strange and bizarre things happened over those few days he spent with his delirious partner - some things he thought he would never experience in his life. Like Ewelein said, she did ramble a lot about the most odd things that she’s hallucinated; ranging from watching Musaroses fly around the room (which may have stemmed from Floppy observing her from high surfaces, if he did in fact adopt Floppy, and I believe he did), the sun and moon rolling around the room, and even yelping incoherent words as she tried to run away from light flecks. When she did manage to make a coherent sentence, she was quite crass and tactless with her tone and words - she didn’t seem to be able to comprehend the idea of emotions, but her imagination sure ran wild.

When he first brought her into his room, she wandered around for a while - chasing shadows it seemed... and then she took interest in shiny things, like his weaponry.

“Ah, pretty!”

“Guardienne don’t touch that! That’s sharp!” He quickly leapt to her side and took her wrist as she reached for an axe hanging on the wall, gently pulling her towards the bed as she giggled giddily and danced around with him. He tried his best to reign her in without being harsh - she wasn’t in her right mind - while making sure she didn’t hurt herself on any surface as she flung her limbs around before finally managing to get her on his bed. She still burned with the fever as he settled her into the light blankets, but she seemed to be tempted to fall asleep as she curled into his pillows. Relief settled into Lance for a moment as he turned to quickly glance around the room, observing everything he would need to hide for her safety until she recovered.

He glanced back to Guardienne to find her gone. He’s never felt panic invade him so quickly. 

Lance quickly scanned the room again to find her nowhere - actually it’s dread at this point, he’s definitely feeling dread - and then a feminine noise of surprise sounded from the floor before his bed. He rushed to the other side of the bed to find her laying on the floor, staring intently underneath his bed.

“I can see into realms...” She was probably staring through the gap underneath his bed to look at the other wall.

The thought of tying her to the bed to keep her still passed through his mind until he decided that that would be too inhumane for such a sickly woman.

Fortunately there were a few things that Lance felt he could do well. Occasionally he would ask if she wanted tea, or something to eat, and he definitely made sure she drank lots of cold water (being an ice dragon truly had some perks, like refreshing cold water at any time). She wouldn’t exactly respond - although on occasion she was brought back to reality enough to realize and comment that she was hungry at the mention of food - but Lance made sure to keep rigorous note of when she last ate and what anyways, so she stayed well fed. It was a bit of a struggle to get her to eat sometimes, but he found that she responded well to smell, so he tried to focus more on giving her warm (not hot) or stronger smelling foods. Once she caught the scent she seemed to snap back to reality a bit and nibble on it for a while - and when he’d sit beside her and eat a meal of his own she would catch on that it was time to eat and happily devour the food until she lost interest. He also realized quickly that her heavy sweating would mean that she’d need to shower more, so while it wasn’t always possible to wash her multiple times per day, he found that giving her a small bath with a wet cloth helped her - especially with cooling her down. He did make sure to shower her at least once a day, and he did join her for this. There was no way she’d be able to shower alone with her hallucinations...

These showers did lead to rather humorous events once in a while. The first time he showered with her, she tried to run away from the water because “the rain clouds are angry at her”, but she eventually calmed down - nearly going limp in his arms - when she realized how nice it was to feel the warm water on her skin. Surprisingly, when they’re out of the shower she seems to be brought back to her sanity a bit, being able to hold a... semi-normal conversation for a few minutes, usually remembering that emotions exist and being able to accurately describe her distress. However, Lance is perhaps most proud of the other times, late at night or early in the morning, when she’s burning hot in bed next to him and he helps relieve her of this.

He’ll lean up slightly, adjusting the pillows underneath him so he can recline back while somewhat sitting up and pull her gently into his arms, letting Guardienne rest her head on his chest or abdomen. She’ll moan in distress, dozing but not yet sleeping, and he’ll call forth his powers to help cool her. He’ll lay a cold hand on her forehead or the back of her neck, letting his body temperature drop to provide a cool presence that she can curl up with. Lance quickly found that she really enjoys this, she’ll cling to him all night as her breathing evens and her sweating calms down, and he finds that it even helps calm her during the day. Perhaps Ewelein was right; her restlessness was due partially to the fever.

Fortunately the medicine works, and within a week she’s feeling better. Guardienne woke up one morning; groggy, lethargic and overall feeling like shit, but she moves around to adjust her position anyways, rolling over to find Lance awake and watching her.

“Hey...” She greets him, her voice grating in a way that nearly makes her wince.

“Good morning. Did the wall rat wake you up?”

“...”

“Excuse me? What wall rat?” Lance looks a bit worried.

“Ok, she doesn’t remember the wall rat...” He mutters the words to himself as he glances away before meeting her gaze again. “Nothing, what about the Liclion under the bed? He’s not licking your hand again, is he? I can take care of him if you need me to. I could probably do something about those birds, too, if they’re here.” Guardienne stills mid-weak-stretch and looks at him with an off put expression, somewhat afraid of his random speaking. He blinks back with a calm expression before shock brightens him and he leans towards her a bit

“Wait, are you better!? Do you actually understand what I’m saying!?”

“Yes, Lance, but I’m not sure that you understand what you’re saying.” She looks at him in a concerned manner, but Lance is busy throwing himself over her in a desperate, gentle hug. She hugs back, still incredibly confused but thankful that he didn’t throw all of his weight on her as well - she was very weak and tired, she didn’t think she’d be able to breath if he rested his weight on her.

“Seriously, are you ok? What’s happened these past few days? I can barely remember anything.” Lance draws back to flash her a bright grin, overjoyed at the fact that he has his partner back.

“Yes, I’m just fine, but you’re not going to believe any of this...” He tells her the story anyways.

Lance with Guardienne who's sick and too weak to move:

It started slow. Guardienne was feeling a bit sluggish one day while training with Jamon, finding that she tired easier than normal and her reaction time wasn’t as fast as usual. She had to ask Jamon for a few extra breaks throughout, sparking concern from the Ogre. He asked if she was alright and she said that she was just feeling a bit tired. Jamon promptly reminded her of the time where she had the infected wound from the Warrifang, asking if she could have another bite like that that’s causing her fatigue.

“I don’t think so, I don’t recall fighting anything as of late. I suppose I should warn Lance if this gets worse, though, just so we don’t have a repeat of the market scene the first time I saw him again.” Her tone was light with humor, but she did dismiss herself from training. She didn’t want to push herself if she was getting sick.

She carried out the rest of the day with normalcy, but the following morning is where she was really hit. 

Guardienne woke up sore, tired, lethargic, and nauseous. She should have seen Ewelein sooner. To make things even worse, she woke up with a headache and a pounding noise in her ears. Wait... no, that was her door.

She hauled herself out of bed, requiring much more strength than she expected, and immediately a flood of heat washed over her. Regardless of her swimming head and heavy limbs, she stumbled to the door and cracked it open as the pounding became more persistent .

“Oh, hey, you’re late for our breakfast! Mathieu was getting really worried - such a sweetheart! And Adalric started forming conspiracy theories of why you’re late. Karenn suggested that we - hey, you don’t look so good, are you alright?” Guardienne could barely pay attention to Koori’s rambling - her headache was terrible and she was reduced to clinging to the door frame to remain standing. She sighed, closing her eyes and groaning as she rested her head next to her hand on the frame.

“I need to go to the Infirmary.” 

“Ok, come on, I’ll help you.” Fortunately Koori was a kind person - flirtatious, and bold - but caring for her friends.

Guardienne leaned her weight against the Kitsune as they headed to the Infirmary, nearly stumbling every other step as even the slightest movements took far too much energy - only to encounter Lance along the way.

Concern immediately struck him, showing clearly on his expression as he jogged to meet the two before asking what was going on. After a brief explanation, Lance offered to take Guardienne to the Infirmary. Koori put up a bit of a fight - not anything odd, she just wanted to make sure Guardienne would be alright (and she was curious of the illness) - but agreed to let Lance take her the rest of the way.

Koori gently let go of Guardienne, letting her stand on her own two feet a moment before she wobbled. Lance quickly took hold of her, gently taking her into his arms and lifting her from the floor as Koori dismissed herself from them, wishing Guardienne good health. He turned and set a brisk pace towards the Infirmary.

“You really don’t need to carry me. I know you’re a bit weird with touching in front of others.” Guardienne spoke softly - tiredly - as she rested her head against his chest, discreetly glancing around the room to see a few heads turning to look at them.

“Hush, I don’t care about that right now.” His tone said that there would be no arguing of that.

He walked through the doors, immediately calling for Ewelein - who was fortunately near the entrance. Within a few minutes Guardienne was rested on one of the many isolated beds - isolated to assure the sickness wouldn't spread if it was infectious. Ewelein began to check her over and verbally nipped at Lance to shoo him out of the room, only to be stopped as Guardienne requested that he stay with her. If he could, at least.

Lance paused, surprise written on his face as he let the knowledge that his partner wanted him around for this sunk in. He wasn't really expecting this. She's usually very independent and doesn't like to disrupt his responsibilities for the day, so her specifically requesting his presence was a bit of a shock

"It's alright if you don't want to stay, I don't want to get in the way of your job, but if I couldn't get here on my own then I don't think I'll be able to get anywhere else... so it might be helpful to have you around..." Guardienne gave him a gentle, fatigued smile before Lance softened and relaxed a bit.

“It would be a good idea. She shouldn’t risk walking around right now; she needs to rest. Fortunately this seems to only effect her energy - there’s no major fever or anything, only a faint fever, so she just needs rest - but if walking around will be a major issue then it would definitely be a good idea for you to be around to help her.”

A gentle warmth settled in Lance’s chest; his partner was asking for his help, she wanted him to lean on while she recovered from this.

How could he say no to that? How could he deny his partner who needed him right now?

“I’ll stay, I’ll take a couple days off. You’ll have my full attention.” He turns to walk towards her and sit down beside her on the mattress, taking her hand in his as Ewelein shuffles around the Infirmary. Guardienne squeezes his hand and looks gratefully at him through narrowed eyes, leaning against his shoulder slightly.

Ewelein returns after a few minutes with a vial in her hand and configures a dose for Guardienne, explaining what it is, what it should do and in how long it should start to take effect. After a few minutes - when Ewelein is still muddling around Guardienne but not saying anything particularly important - Lance excuses himself to find Huang Hua to notify her of his time off.

From there it’s the same as when Guardienne was sick with a fever and delirium; he notifies Huang Hua and sets up a replacement for himself, only excluding asking Karuto for extra food / tea as he can leave the room this time to retrieve food without worrying for her, but he does notify him that he’s taking care of Guardienne so he’ll need two meals to go. Karuto grumbles about the information, possibly not believing him, but agrees to it anyways. If anything, he can check with Ewelein later to confirm that Lance is actually taking care of her.

Eventually he returns to Guardienne - who was dozing peacefully - and gently picks her up after speaking with Ewelein before heading out of the Infirmary to settle her on his bed.

She curled immediately into the blankets and pillows on his bed, and Lance observed as she took in a deep breath, letting it out softly as though the sole reason for that was to breathe in his scent. A warm spark fluttered in his chest as he watched her - he’ll be sure to provide for her in the coming days.

And that’s exactly what he does; provides for her, in any way she needs.

He does this in a lot of similar ways as when she had the fever delirium; he’ll bring her food, help her eat if she’s too weak, will shower with her so she can lean against him (she really likes the showering with the handsome, wet, naked dragon), and watches her carefully when she insists on trying to take a few steps on her own to test how her strength is shifting - after all, his room certainly isn’t the safest with all the weaponry laying around and he promised to himself, for her sake, that he would take the greatest care of her, so he watches her without taking his eyes off her when she tries to shuffle around.

However, there are many other things that he does this time that he didn’t (sometimes couldn’t) do last time. He cuddles with her - a lot. After all, she can’t walk around on her own, so she’s bedridden most of the time, and what better way to pass the time than cuddling it out? If her minor fever acts up, he’ll use the same cooling technique on her by using his powers. Sometimes he’ll even entertain her by playing around a bit, forming delicate, glassy shapes out of his element and letting her explore his creations. He may lay a hand on her arm and let flat, snow colored tendrils drift across her skin like frost, a faint chill emanating from where they appeared as she watches with a fascinated smile when they curl elegantly around her arm.

He’ll let her sleep as much as she wants - which is a lot - and is just fine with being woken up at any hour for any reason. At first she was hesitant about this - she didn’t want to disturb his sleep when she woke up randomly in dark hours of the night with no sign of sleep threatening her consciousness again - so a few nights were spent messily nudging her body around to shift her position with the little strength she had. This woke Lance up a few times, and she was quite surprised when he decided to stay up with her and offer to occupy her time. Guardienne continuously told him that she was alright, he could go back to sleep, but he refused to do so. He was just fine with being woken up in the middle of the night - under this circumstance, of course, not on a typical day where he has responsibilities to carry out the next day - and eventually one night she found herself attempting this as she lay awake and unable to fall asleep again. She pondered over his offer to wake him up if she wanted entertainment, and after what felt like hours of trying to do anything else, she reached an arm over to brush her hand from his jaw, down his neck, and to his bare chest - eventually giving in to try and nudge herself closer to cuddle the sleeping dragon. He shifted slightly at this - waking fully as he noticed her movement - and grinned softly at her, pulling her closer to satisfy her wishes. They stayed up for many hours after that, talking quietly and nuzzling each other. Guardienne is a bit less hesitant to wake up him for company after that.

Sometimes his partner will grow a bit restless staying in one place, being moved only when she needs to use the bathroom, shower, test her strength limitations, etc. so Lance decided to take her into his arms one day and carry her around his room. Why? Well, she was tired of staying in one place, so now she’s moving around without moving around. Guardienne looks at him like he’s the greatest thing to ever exist, and then asks if he could take her to the Fountain Park. He happily complies, being sure to keep themselves a bit more distanced from others than usual for privacy and health’s sake.

A few heads turn to watch them as Lance casually carries his partner through the guard - but he doesn’t pay mind. He’s busy providing for his partner what she needs; fresh air and a change of scenery. They’ll spend a fair amount of time outside for a while before Guardienne eventually grows tired again, and he’ll carry her back inside to nest into his bed and cuddle.

Above all else, Lance is sure to remember the medical advice Ewelein gave to him - let her rest, don’t push her energy, keep her well fed with healthy food, exercise her a little bit per day so she doesn’t lose too much muscle function, and overall; be there for her. Lance is happy to provide for his partner, and he’s honored that she wanted him specifically to take care of her, so when times come where she’s sick and needs to be taken care of again, he doesn’t hesitate to offer his help. The last thing he wants to do is leave his partner to suffer alone.

Fortunately, within a week or two she’s usually feeling better, and after that they carry on their routine as normal.

She does still ask for him to carry her around his room on occasion, though.

I hope you liked these! I tried to add in a fair share of humor and fluff. The first scenario almost seemed to take on a few dark tones due to how heavily I made her hallucinate, but I tried to keep it light. That being said - if anyone is ever that sick and is hallucinating that heavily, take them to a hospital so they can have proper treatment and supervision. This is merely a story written for entertainment, so I can bend the rules of reality a bit. 

Just as I thought, these were very fun to write. Thank you for requesting such an entertaining ask!

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

[engineer-in-space]

a simple call of the wild review that is totally professional and not way too detailed by me (February)

It's gonna be a bit of comparing to previous powerwolf albums/songs and remember everything is my own opinion. If you disagree/agree we may talk about it in a civilized way, I actually love talking to others about this shit!

But otherwise (hate, insults, etc.) you can keep your opinion somewhere where I can't see it :) Also, the album has barely been out for a day and things change with time and I may grow to like certain things more. (but there's not too much that I don't like tbh) But I hope you enjoy this metalhead-gremlin's ramblings!

Faster than the flame

I had to listen to it quite a few times before I could say anything about it. It's a powerful start into the new album, however, it is (as previously stated) powerful but didn't blow me away like the first songs on the previous albums. (Fire &forgive, Blessed &possessed, amen & attack - wait am I just now noticing a pattern here? oh my god. Anyway.) Maybe I got that personal feeling that I want it to be Fire & Forgive, which is, of course, not possible and would be boring. So i think I'm not even critizing the song but rather the order of the songs.

It feels like a typical powerwolf song; both lyrics and instrumental. Fast, heavy, something about flames and burning - awesome. The two Latin parts (I think it's called the pre-chorus? man, I have no idea and will just throw around these words because my internet connection is too bad to look this up. But if you listen, you'll know which parts I mean.) already give me goosebumps. I also really, really liked the bridge (again?? idk??) aka the "flame, flame, burning wild in heavens name" part. This was the most memorable part for me after the first time listening. Of course, the guitar arrangement throughout the whole song is just... god bless. I must say that using the word "pastor" is dangerous because my stupid brain keeps thinking Attila is singing about "pasta" again... Oh well, moving on!

Beast of Gevaudan

Man, I've been listening almost non-stop since it was released as a single! At first, my head was comparing it somewhat to army of the night but after a few times this feeling was gone and it became an awesome new idea/song. The choir and orchestra part are so well placed and support the rest of the instrumental and Attila's voice perfectly. Again, much fast, very powermetal. I've grown very fond of the guitar solo. The lyrics tell us a little about the story of the beast and I. Love. Storytelling. In. Songs. Glad matthew finally came around to put his idea out there!

This song also has a video, which left me speechless at first. I love Attila's acting so much??? And making this sort of their own story of Jesus was such a cool idea. Production is high quality as well (didn't expect anything less after The Sacrament of Sin MVs) and there were really nice shots in there. I doubt that I will get tired of this song and this video anytime soon!

Dancing with the dead

That choir stuff in the beginning, following by that awesome guitar riff already had me. I couldn't stop listening to this one either. This might be, in my opinion, the most catchy song on the whole album. The intruments are in perfect harmony with Attila's heavenly voice. The transition into the guitar solo is so damn smooth and well done. I'm having a whole crisis about how good this song is.

The lyrics are interesting too! Again, there's a story to be told. As far as I can interpret it, being introduced to some darker powers and growing to enjoy them, despite previously having lots of faith, is what's going on here. It has this slight feeling of... corruption (in a good way of course). This makes me want to go dancing (with the dead)

This one also has a video! Once again, very high quality. Every band member had their "special moments/shots" and just looked stunning. But Attila left them all behind this time. Slow dancing, in a suit, with that smirk on his lips??? Well done, my dude.

Varcolac

This one's dark and heavy. It brings me back to the good ol' times of Lupus Dei and Bible of the Beast. Just with more orchestra, choir and overall harmony. It makes me so happy that Powerwolf is using so many real life legends and figures on this album! And they did such a good job with them as well. If this song was alive, it would be a scary beast.

The typical metal elements and orchestra/choir parts are very well balanced. And the organ throughout the whole song is fitting. It supports the dark and sinister feeling of the whole thing. My favourite part may be the "And as army we bing fire..." parts! Man, I just love werewolves. Also, I think Attila's famous gibberish singing made a return in this one!

Alive or undead

Oh boy,here we go. The piano in this one is incredible. "Here we STAAAAAAND!" Goosebumps and shivers. Everything about this is so emotional andreading the lyrics while listening just makes me want to cry, ok?! T_T Powerwolf has become so flexible, exploring different ways to make music. This could have been some kind of typical powermetal song but it's not and I'm glad about it.

Even if it's a little different, they never stray to far from what makes them special. The few parts, reminding one of typical church music would not have been necessary but are appreciated! They know when to leave out the guitars and go slowly. What bothers me a little, is that it somehow feels like Attila's voice had a tiny bit more potential up to the chorus. It could've been a little bit softer? if i can put it that way. But honestly this song is raw emotion and everything still fits together. If you thought their first ballad was emotional, buckle up, this one kicked me right in the feels.

Blood for blood (Faoladh)

Powerwolf ventures again into the folk metal territory and successfully conquers it! Could be a headline of something. Anyway, this song is a very worthy successor of Incense & Iron! It just makes me happy, its melody is so light - combined with your typical Powerwolf lyrics. Perfect song to start jumping up and down! It radiates motivational energy. Just like Dancing with the dead, this song has a very smooth transition to the guitar parts.

The melody is strong but still easy enough to quickly get into it! I can barely sit still and write this aaaa. Seriously, I am just happy with this song and will go jump and headbang a while to it!

Glaubenskraft

I have returned from jumping and oh no. It's a German song. Bold of them to go all out on that Latin beginning... it works really well though! It might be because I'm German but this song hits hard. Very hard. It's not easy to make this language sound good and ( if you don't happen to know much about German) the lyrics consist of a bunch of old words and grammar you wouldn't normally use anymore. But they made it fucking work!!! The quiet verses only make the pre-chorus and chorus itself heavier and blow me away. And SOMEHOW this super epic song with (made up, at least I'm pretty sure they don't exist like that) Latin words is about.. you know what Powerwolf writes about a lot. And I LOVE that. It's so subtle and only if you read into it, you're like "wait a minute".

This song has a feeling of corruption too. But not in a good way this time. It feels evil and intimidating and - honestly, I can't get enough of it. Everyone of my neighbours will think I'm some kind of weird Christian fanatic because I WILL yell "Glaubenskraft" just as much as I yelled "Stossgebet". Worth it, tho.

Call of the wild

The song with the same title as the album! (or the other way around, whatever.) This song is just catchy from the beginning to the end. Like many other songs its fast and hard. Just how I like it. Don't take that out of context.

The lyrics and instruments go wild (haha get it), with a really neat Latin pre-chorus. It's very fun to listen to. Personally, it makes me feel like I belong to the pack. That we're strong together, that we can say fuck it once in a while and just go crazy. The chanted part near the end of the song reminds me strongly of Sanctified with dynamite (ya know "die, die dynamite" and "call, call, call of the wild") and it's really cool they pick up on old things once again. Be it intentional or not. It's a reminder that they still are who they were back then - and their music is still fucking incredible.

Simply an epic song, strong vocals, strong guitars. I really, really like the intro. Attila has to sing so many words in such little time, does he even need to breathe now and then?

Now I'm wondering what came first; the album title or the track title? Chicken or the egg?

Sermon of swords

First of all: WHAT IS THAT OMINOUS VOICE IN THE BEGINNING. Mark me down as horny and scared. Ahem.

I really like how the verse and the chorus have their own theme and melody going on and yet they're connected. The chorus is super catchy too! And just say it yourself "Sermon of swords", how cool does it sound??? The choir in the beginning is a really neat introduction into the whole song. The lyrics match the whole album, very much a soundtrack to go on a crusade to, like Raise your fist, Evangelist or Christ & Combat. Just... "AAMEEN!" Ok, I'm actually going insane here, calm down, Feb. These might be my favourite lyrics of the whole album I think?? (unless I said that somewhere else already, then i have more than one favourite.)

The whole song has a more "classical" feeling to it, not only in the Powerwolf sense but also in the Heavy Metal sense in general. BUT. Orchestra and choir are prefectly mixed, especially supporting Attila in the chorus. The guitar solo is really cool and sounds very Greywolf-y, if you know what I mean. It's just Matthew's style.

Undress to confess

The name of this song says it all. This is your friendly reminder that no matter how much they preach about Jesus or the Devil, Powerwolf should not be taken too seriously. When I first saw the title I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

The melody is pretty catchy and easy to remember, the organ and general approach reminds me of Demons are a girl's best friend. I absolutely love how the lyrics are on that thin line of somewhat poetic and ridiculous. Let me provide two examples here: "all the world we posess for desire and sin we carress" - man, this sounds pretty.

And there's also "dressed to hide the dark, and obsessed to ride him hard on the.... crucifix." Yeah, I... I don't know what I expected here. Anyway, this is how you describe church sex without actually using explicit words. (why are you booing me, i'm right)

Still really nice to listen to and have a good time!

Reverent of rats

We arrived at the last song of the album! And here we picked up on the speed and power again! The way the organ is played during the verses makes it so... sinister. Again, this piece reminds me of Lupus Dei. The verses keep the sinister feeling while the chorus picks up more... drama? An epic melody mixed with epic words make my soul ascend to heaven.

This guitar solo is also the absolute good shit. It might be my favourite from all the songs of this album?! Additionally, the drums? I don't know why but they really stand out here. Love how fast paced they are.

Aaaaand that's it! If you've read all the way through holy shit, you are actually a badass. Thank you for staying with me, my werewolf friend. Maybe we'll meet where the wild wolves have gone. But always remember: Metal is religion.

[askfallenroyalty]

I don't think you did anything wrong. When a story is being written, there are a lot of different ways to adress and express something and maybe that's why you're being misunderstood. I think there are just too many things to adress in this story that maybe some people will get when these things are implicitly implied and some people will not. So when a breaking point comes, they'd think it came out of nowhere. You can see this with the amount of asks you receive asking you often the same thing.

Does that mean it's wrong? Ofc not! I myself was a little bit confused with Frisk's reactions and conduct in general until you explained it in your recent asks, and I thought man, that was what I was missing!

Now, yes I believe some parts of the story could have been explained in a different way, because in my opinion there's a lot to read between the lines. If you don't try to understand the characters, you'll clearly be confused as hell. But that's why I love this story! As you said before, there's nothing meant to be black/white coded, and I really appreciate the world and the character's complexity in general. You don't have some of the answers in hand, an that's when you have to analize! (At least that's what I do haha)

I also really felt like telling you something I've been relating to, so I'm putting the respectives tw if someone doesn't want to keep reading (TW: Suicide mention).

In the DW Arc, when the Christmas and Feylow stuff happened, I realised through Chara that I was doing the exact same thing with a friend of mine. He was going through a lot of stuff, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. I was focusing a huge amount of energy on him because I was afraid to lose him, and when he suddenly stopped talking to me so he could take a break, I felt really lost. Because he was the person I talked with the most, one of my dearest friends, and the idea of losing him and not being there to stop it made me insanely anxious, because that used to be the situation most of the times. Now it's been a year since he's stopped talking to me, and I don't exactly know the reason. But I couldn't keep running behind someone who didn't seem to keep wanting me around. And if it wasn't for you, I couldn't have realized how much this was hurting me.

And now, as much as it hurts me to see him acting this distant and cold with me, I'm okay with it. I really am. Because I now have the tranquility to see him continue, even when things are not okay. I can't force a friendship and I really needed to understand that back then. I trust him as much as he trusts me.

I really wanted to thank you for writing this story because it has helped me in a way I didn't expect, and I'm sure it will help a lot of people too! I'm even learning from your way of taking and discussing things haha.

I just wanted you to have this tranquility I have with this story because I trust it'll work out and explain itself once it's finished. And I just can't express how thankful I am to be reading your story.

Thank you again,

I'm looking forward to more of your work and please, take care! Don't stop doing what you enjoy! 🦋

putting it under a readmore because of how long the ask/response is, sorry!

i’m at a loss of words because wow, this ask really hit in a way i’ve never really could of anticipated. when writing AFR, i write a story about things I felt. I’ve been Chara, I’ve been Asriel and Frisk at points in my life. I write because I need to tell their stories and make it real, specifically for my own sake of getting through my own pain and to tell the world this is who i am and that I will be ok, there is hope in this world. It’s a selfish desire for me, but ultimately that’s what art is i feel. I couldn’t draw this much and put so much time and effort into something without it being meaningful or personal.

but art is communication, and when I write to be seen and to be heard, I know there’s others who are reading and are connecting with the work. (otherwise, I wouldn’t be getting asks right? its a lonely process, i forget there’s the second half of the equation -you guys) and i’ll do my best to make sure people are accommodated and can experience this story without hurting in a way that’s past enjoying a emotionally gripping piece of media. i don’t want people to be upset or hurt for my work, and I want to ensure I can make this without hurting others.

I try to leave a lot of ambiguity and room for people to interpret stories and I don’t mind people missing the point or interpreting things vastly differently than what I intended. that’s fine, that’s what art is all about. i don’t want to hold people’s hands and tell them what’s happening or what they should feel -i want them to choose and decipher and think things over. stories should be stimulating and thought provoking, and i can’t decide what those thoughts are. I wouldn’t want to. Personally, if it means people become more confused and lost over the story -well, that’s a trade off I have to take. if it means the story is more up-to-interpretation, than it’s worth it to me.

i do regret with how fast and punchy the arc ended up, and I feel my hints may have been too weak. asriel/flowey has been bluntly surprised/asking to be killed twice, he hasn’t felt like himself since dying and has lost his support systems ect. as a person who’s Been Through Shit, I thought it was as obvious as the sun what was to come but thinking on it now?

with how distance asriel is, how limited the perspective is to chara (who hasn’t known Asriel has been going thru the same depressive/suicidal thoughts as they have this whole time) it was a shock to the system. and in a way that’s fine in my eyes if the reader was completely shocked as you can emphasize more with chara that way... but in the same sense its horrifying for them, it must be for the reader as well.

and I do feel I should of thought of a way to handle the scenario to where it was less in your-face with Asriel’s decent into desperation and attempts. I don’t want to ever show it on screen, I don’t want to ever go into detail and make it any sort of fun for the viewer. it’s supposed to be disturbing and painful and I tried to show how greatly painful it was affecting both chara and frisk. Suicide victims are victims and everyone involved suffer from it. It’s ugly and never something one should be anything but ugly.

that is my intent for it be that, but as I’ve heard from people it’s still a shock and went too far. Authorial intent doesn’t matter when people react to your stories. yes, the context can be good to have, but people’s feelings and reactions mean the world more. I hope with the added context of the complete story that helps it in the long run, but as it is I’m very unhappy with how I tackled it and I don’t really have a good answer to how I should of gone about it. but at the end of the day that doesn’t matter as it happened and I can’t change it.

i’m sorry about your friend and i’m sorry for the pain you’ve experienced as well. it’s not easy being in that position (nor is it for ur friend as well of course) and it’s perfectly fine to feel hurt and to take time for yourself to address those feelings. You, as a person, matter and your feelings are justifiably important as well. nobody asks to be mentally ill and your friend’s choices aren’t fully theirs because of that, but it doesn’t change how it’s affected and hurt you. Losing someone’s friendship has always been a painful and inevitable experience people must go thru in life. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that, but I’m glad -so happy that my story has helped you in any amount. I sincerely wish you both the best and to heal, I’m proud of you anon for getting through this.

I can’t really express how much it means as a writer to see how my work helped you. Like I mentioned before, I write and feel like it’s by myself that makes this work but it’s a 2 way street -you guys contribute to the story and the story only exists and is perceived by you. without an audience, it really truly is just me here. what you gain and experience within a story is just as important as the writing of the work itself and I often forget that.

Thank you. This was a really nice and eye opening ask and it’s going to be on my mind for a while, haha. I hope once the story is done and I can post-correct how I handle the story, people can learn and gain meaning to it like you have. Sorry if this was a bit rambly, I’m very thankful for your response (as well as everyone else who’s messaged!) and I’m very happy and excited to continue and to do my best. Thank you all so much.

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

When you need a Superfriend

By Nach0Ava

On Archive of Our Own

Tumblr user: @nach0ava

So I have not really watched Supergirl however when I read the first chapter I had to share this with you all! This is the first chapter by Nach0Ava. (Second chapter is on its way as well!) Marinette gets sent away by her parents to America! Please go read Nach0Ava's story!

Summary:

When Tom and Sabine believe Lila's lies, they send Marinette off to live with an old family friend in National City. When living with a government agent and a physiologist, how long is it until she gets figured out?

Chapter 1:

“I don’t understand! Why are you sending me away?”

Marinette looked up at her parents in disbelief. They had just told her that she was going to be sent to live with a family friend. In America! Sure, she could speak fairly good English, but it still didn’t make sense!

“Your recent behaviour has led us to think that the change could be good for you. Kelly and her girlfriend Alex are lovely people, and they might be better equipped to deal with you than we are.”

As her mother spoke, Marinette felt a bitterness rise in her. Of course. Lila. She had made good on her threat, managing to turn even her parents against her. Claiming that she was involved in a gang, she had an older boyfriend, she did drugs, the list went on. And when Tom and Sabine had caught Marinette out past curfew one too many times, they took it as the truth. She couldn’t tell them that she was Ladybug, so all she had was half-hearted excuses. Still, she needed a way to stay in Paris, as she couldn’t be Ladybug somewhere else, and if there was no Ladybug, there was no-one to catch the akuma, and no-one to cast the cure, never mind all her guardian duties…

She was getting off track. She had a goal and she needed to accomplish it. Just like taking down an akuma. Except she couldn’t hit this problem really hard for it to go away.

“Is there any way I could stay in Paris? I’ll switch schools, I’ll go live with grandpa Roland, I’ll do anything!”

Tom and Sabine exchanged a look. They didn’t want to believe it, but they had to make sure.

“Honey, calm down, aren’t you worried about an akuma?”

Marinette started pacing as she rambled, mostly to herself.

“Right, I’ll get upset, then you guys will get mad at me, and then one or both of you will be akumatised and then I’ll have that whole mess to deal with.”

Tom reached out a hand to her shoulder to stop her pacing.

“You aren’t worried about you getting akumatised?”

Marinette shook her head.

“No no, I’ll be fine.”

A slight push from her bag and the looks from her parents made her backtrack.

“I mean, I’m really good at calming down before they get to me, I mean, it’s worked so far right?”

She let out a nervous chuckle while her parents stared at her.

“Marinette… Are you working with Hawkmoth?”

Marinette looked for the start of a smile from her mum, the laughter in her dad’s eyes, anything to say they were joking. When the just kept staring she burst into laughter.

“Haha, you guys… You guys really thought… Haha, that’s hilarious!”

Her parents failed to see the humour and gave her thatlook.

“Remember all those times I’ve been attacked? Reflekta, Horificator, pretty much any akuma that clones or traps people I’ve gotten tangled up in.”

Not technically a lie, she never said she got hitspecifically, but she definitely got attacked.

“Well, maybe you should get out of Paris anyway. It’s clearly not safe here, and maybe it’s best for you to leave. You’ll like it in National City, they even have their own superheros!”

Great. A reminder of what I have to give up because of Lila. She was about to keep protesting, but she felt three quick pushed on her side by Tikki. We need to talk.Her argument died on her tongue and she sighed.

“When am I meant to leave?”

Her parents exchanged relived looks.

“The plane is booked for next Friday. That gives you about a week to pack up. We could mail over a box with all of your sewing things once you get settled, if Kelly and Alex are ok with it of course.”

Marinette fought the eyebrow that was threating to raise. A week? I was hoping for some more time to test and train a new guardian, and a new holder for Tikki. It would be a rush, and there weren’t many people she trusted anymore. Still, there was work to be done, so she had to get started.

“I guess I’ll go start packing then. Can I be un-grounded so I can spend my final week saying goodbye and sorting things out?”

Her parents nodded, glad she was taking this so well.

“Of course honey, just not tonight ok? It’s getting rather late.”

Marinette nodded and ran up to her room, shutting the trapdoor quickly. She went up onto her bed and starting crying into her pillow, feeling the weight of all the kwami comforting her. Eventually she rolled on to her back, drying her tears.

“I’m sorry Tikki, you said you wanted to talk?”

She looked at her expectantly. Marinette already knew what Tikki wanted. She needed to find a new wielder and Guardian, and she shouldn’t have been putting it off, but sometimes it felt good to cry. Tikki came to settle on her lap and patted her leg comfortingly.

“Marinette I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to give up being Ladybug or being Guardian. So you better stop that train of thought right now missy.”

Marinette sat up, blinking. How could she… Oh.

“I’m an idiot.”

Tikki giggled while she flew up and booped her nose, while Kaalki sniffed from the corner.

“I can’t believe you forgot about me Guardian. You’ve given me out before!”

Marinette giggled at the kwami’s haughty attitude.

“Sorry Kaalki, I got a bit too emotional to think clearly.”

Kaalki just grabbed a sugar cube with a huff and flew off. Marinette climbed off her bed and grabbed her bright pink suitcase.

“So who wants to help me pack?”

~~<3~~

Chloe, Kagami, Luka and Marinette were all sitting at a table at a café during their lunch break. Luka had graduated already, so he was usually free to hang out. Chloe had come up to Marinette not too long after Lila’s takeover with an apology. Marinette had been wary at first, but Chloe was actually really nice when she wasn’t putting up an act. She had soon proven herself and had been given another chance at being a hero, under the new name Honeybee. Kagami had approached her after Adrien had asked for advice on the Lila situation. She had hated his passive approach, and when she had tried to talk to him about it, he just refused her help, ignoring the fact that he had asked for her help. Kagami had come to offer her help, and they become friends soon after. She had re-claimed the dragon, under the new name Tempête. Luka had heard Lila’s heart song and immediately knew that was someone that he didn’t want to hang around. He had tried warning Juleka and the rest of Kitty Section, but Lila had told them that having an older singer wasn’t a good look. He had been kicked out, and Marinette had been there to comfort him with pastries and musicals. After she had introduced everyone to each other, they had become a tightly knit group. So, as one could imagine, they weren’t taking this well.

“They gave you a��week? That’s ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

Kagami made a noise of displeasure as well.

“Sending you to America seems a bit extreme, what reason did they give again?”

Marinette scoffed.

“My ‘recent behaviour’ or something like that. Also known as, Lila. Oh, that’s not even the best part.”

Marinette gave out a dry chuckle and everyone looked on in interest.

“Apparently, I’m working with Hawkmoth.”

Luka plucked a string on his guitar, sending out a loud note. Chloe just stared in disbelief, and Kagami made for her foil.

“I’m going to run them through with my sword.”

Kagami gripped it tightly, ready to get up and make good on her threat, but Marinette grabbed it from her, unbothered by the fencer’s unimpressed glare.

“No-one is stabbing anyone. I don’t really have a choice, so I just have to suck it up and deal with it. Besides, it could be good to get away from Lila.”

Chloe was the first to get up to give her a hug, followed by Luka, and then by Kagami, who Marinette wasn’t completely sure that she wasn’t just trying to get her sword back.

“It’ll be ok guys, we can still video chat through Skype or something. I won’t be able to text, because I’ll be on an American phone plan, but we can figure something out!”

Chloe pulled away and took out her phone, tapping away immediately.

“I’m going to get you an amazing phone plan, with unlimited overseas. Same for the rest of you. That way, we can all talk and not worry about the fact that there’ll be an ocean dividing us.”

Marinette slowly took the phone and added it to her slowly growing pile, pointedly ignoring the glare Chloe shot her.

“I’m sure there are other, free, ways to contact each other. I think there’s an online service, what’s the name in English? Chaos or something like that?”

Luka strummed at his guitar in thought before pulling up an app on his phone.

“Is this the one you were thinking of?”

He had opened Discord, in dark mode of course, and had his profile open.

“Yeah, that’s the one! We can talk on there, and it has the bonus of being accessible from computers! So, no reason to go overboard, ok Chloe?”

Chloe humped and opened up the app store, downloading Discord. Kagami noticed what she was doing and mirrored her. They all took a few minutes to make accounts and become friends, before Luka, the one with the most experience, had set up a server for them all. Quickly choosing nicknames, Marinette pocketed her phone with a grin.

“Now that that’s done, anyone want to come help me pick some things to take?”

~~<3~~

It felt like the week passed quickly, lessons passing by in a blur. She didn’t pay much attention, just enough to keep Mrs Bustier satisfied. She didn’t bother alerting anyone in the class (outside of Chloe) that she was leaving, ignoring their taunts and insults. Chloe and Kagami had been big helps in learning how to ignore them, so now they rolled off her like water on a duck. She made sure not to bring anything valuable, most of her stuff was in a suitcase anyway. On her final day, she only had her schoolbooks, the school assigned tablet, and three neatly wrapped gifts. As she was packing up to go meet her friends for a final goodbye, she was stopped by Alya.

“I need you to make a dress for the upcoming school dance.”

Marinette briefly noted that this was a demand, rather than a request, but she just started her usual commission speech with a sigh.

“Depending on the materials used and the time it takes to make, the dress could cost anywhere from €300 to €500. There will also be shipping costs, plus the fact I’m not taking commissions right now, so it will probably be a few weeks before I might be able to get started on it.”

Alya was staring at Marinette like she had grown another head.

“€300, what are you talking about? I’m not paying youfor a dress, and you make mine every year, so what’s the problem? I can’t wait a few weeks, the dance is next weekend!”

Marinette sighed and pushed past the taller girl.

“The problem is that I don’t have time, materials are expensive, and I made you those dresses when we were friends. But we’re not now. So, leave me alone. Goodbye Alya.”

She walked out to meet her friends, leaving Alya behind, too stunned to talk. When she snapped out of it, she grumbled to herself.

“She’ll see reason on Monday. She has no right to refuse after all she’s done to Lila! Maybe if she makes Lila’s dress too, she’ll forgive her! Lila’s nice like that, Marinette will come around after making up for everything she’s done!”

Alya walked away, satisfied, planning her new dress in her mind.

Marinette ran up to her friends, engulfing them in hugs. They all hugged right back, sad to see her go. Marinette suddenly pulled away from the hug, and grabbed three parcels out of her bag. She handed them all out, urging them to open them. Luka opened his first, finding a beanie that perfectly matched his hair, with a teal snake pattern around the rim. Chloe went next, her patience not holding any longer. She got a headband with tiny bees embroidered all along it. Kagami received a red handkerchief, with an elemental dragon on one side, and a storm cloud on the other, a lightning strike going all the way across. They all started to thank her at once, with Marinette just blushing sheepishly.

“I just took note of all your favourite heroes, and added them to a design. It’s not that big of a deal.”

They all hugged again, before the clock chimed behind them, making Marinette jump.

“I have to go! I’ll send you all a message when I land, but you better not stay up for it if it’s late here!”

A chorus of “No promises!” filled her ears as she ran home, taking in the sights one more time. She burst into the bakery to find her mum still working the counter, and her dad busy baking. Not thinking much of it, she went up to her room to grab her belongings. After some quick cuddles from the kwami, she had everything she needed. Most flew into the suitcase, comfy in the hidden area Marinette had made, lined with a soft faux fur. Only Tikki and Kaalki flew into her jacket, ready to transform if need be. They had assured her they wouldn’t show up on the x-ray, so she was fine with having them in there. As she lifted her suitcase and went downstairs, her strength from being Ladybug shining through, she was surprised to see her parents still busy at work.

“Maman, Papa, I thought we were going to the airport now?”

Her parent’s exchanged looks before Tom stopped his baking and walked over.

“Honey, we can’t afford to come with you, we need to keep the bakery open. There’s an Uber outside for you, but you’ll have to go on your own. I’m sorry.”

He pulled her into a hug, one she half-heartedly returned. She walked over to hug her mum as well, and went outside with her suitcase.

This was it.

She was really being sent away.

All because of some dumb liar.

With a comforting press coming from inside her jacket, she got in the Uber, prepared to start her new life.

[jobean12-blog]

Top Shelf: Chapter 19- Book Ends

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (bookshop, bartender, baking AU)

Word Count: 2,096

Summary: Spring is on the way and with it lots of new ideas and beginnings...

Author’s Note: So I have this ready and I was excited to post so it’s a little early again. I know the moodboard probably gives too much away but I enjoy making them so much! Hope you love this chapter and I did it justice. It was hard to imagine how this would go down but I think it was grand enough in the choice of place and the words and attention to detail that make it work without being too much. I’m rambling! The Meatball Shop is such a great place, check it out here, I’m hungry just thinking about it! haha I hope you like it and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your continued amazingness, you are all the best! Much love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: SUPER SOFT FLUFFY SWEET LOVE :) 

Top Shelf Masterlist

It’s early Sunday afternoon when you get the text from Peggy that the wedding proofs came in. You and Nat reply with several uppercase letters and happy emojis, agreeing to meet at Peggy and Steve’s for dinner and a browsing party. “Hey babe?” you shout, waiting for Bucky’s reply. He pops his head out of the bathroom, “yea baby, what’s up?”

You rush over to him and do a little dance, “Peggy said the proofs came in so we’re gonna go over there later and eat and drink wine and look and photos and no boys allowed!” He starts laughing before you even finish the sentence, shaking his head to get rid of some excess water. “Hey! You’re splashing me!” He drops the towel from around his waist and rubs it over his hair. “Better?”

Keeping your eyes on his you cross your arms, “mmm, I don’t know, let me check.” You walk closer and run your hands through his hair, the soft fluffy locks only slightly damp now. “Yes, better.” His arms snake around your waist and he pulls you all the way into the bathroom, picking you up and sitting you on the counter. “You have way too many clothes on,” he simpers, spreading your legs and standing between them. “Well then you better do something about it before I leave.”

-Cut to Bucky’s POV about and hour later-

“Hey Steve, can you meet me today? I’m sure you know Peggy got the proofs and the girls are coming by your place to look at them. It’s the perfect opportunity for us to go.” Steve chuckles into the phone, “of course, wanna grab a bite first? Let’s get tacos!” Bucky’s stomach grumbles as he happily agrees, quickly getting off the phone before you come into the room.

*****

When you arrive at Peggy’s she already has the wine out along with some snacks. Nat shows up a few minutes later and you all get comfy on the couch. “How did you get rid of Steve?” Nat asks, shoving some cheese into her mouth. “He said he and Bucky were gonna get tacos then go see Sam.” Nat finishes chewing, "that sounds about right.” You all laugh, ready to enjoy the beautiful photos and help Peggy pick some out.

You get home later than you thought, finding Bucky standing in the kitchen, a cookie half stuffed in his mouth. “Hi doll face,” he mumbles through a mouthful, “did you have fun?” Grabbing a cookie for yourself you kiss his cheek, “I did, the photos are amazing! There is one of us dancing that is so perfect Bucky! I ordered an 8x10 so we can frame it and hang it up!” His eyes light up, “that’s great, I can’t wait to see it.”

“So how many tacos did you eat?” He’s about to pop another cookie in his mouth but he stops, eyebrows knitted as he thinks over his answer. “Hmmm, probably like 12.” He shrugs, eating the cookie whole and going to get some milk. Downing the small glass, he says, “these are really good by the way, is this the new sugar cookie recipe?” You do a little happy dance, “it is! I think I finally got it right! They’ll be fun for Spring because I can do all different shapes and decorations!”

Bucky reaches his hand into the cookie jar for another one, but you smack it, “don’t do it, you’ll get a stomachache.” He makes a sad face, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. “Save it Barnes! And save some cookies so we can snack tomorrow! I can’t have you eating my bookshop supply!” He puts his hands up in surrender, “fine, fine. But they are really good!”

Later that night you’re cuddled up in bed, reading your book while Bucky absentmindedly plays with your hair. “OH!” he nearly yells, making you jolt and sit up. “Sorry, I just remembered something I wanted to ask you. He smirks, continuing on, “so Spring is right around the corner and the weather is getting nicer and warming up so I was thinking we could set up some tables outside the bookshop. Maybe add an awning or just umbrellas and plants or something.”

You watch him talk, his eyes bright and excited and when he finally stops rambling you crawl on top of him, kissing his lips. “That is an amazing idea baby! I love it!” His eyes crinkle in a smile, “ok great, I’m glad, I thought you would like it.” A few comfortable moments of silence pass while you stroke his beard, lightly kissing along his jaw. “You know what else is coming up,” he says, almost dreamily. “What?”

He stops your hand and holds it, kissing your palm, “the anniversary of the day we met. Do you remember it?” Playfully tapping your chin, you pretend to think it over. “Ummm, I think so, maybe. I mean it was SO LONG ago.” He rolls over and squishes you into the mattress. “Oh. I see how it is. At least we know one of us is a romantic!”

A few weeks later…

You walk outside with a hot cup of tea and some of your rose macarons, placing them down in front of Grandma Betty. “This should warm you up a bit!” You sit down across from her, wanting to take minute to say hi. “It’s really quite beautiful out, I love that you set up this area.” She bites into the cookie, immediately smiling. “Oh, these are just delicious! Well done sweetheart!” You bring her two more before going to the back to put more in the oven.

“Grandma is loving those rose macarons baby, nice work.” He gives you a quick kiss before grabbing more coffee. “Can you save some for us, I was thinking maybe we could stay at the bookshop tomorrow night since I’m not working the bar. Would be the perfect snack.” Smiling over your shoulder you happily agree. “I should have some left and if not, I can easily make another batch just for us.” Bucky licks his lips and winks, heading back out with the coffee.

Bucky lays back against the pillows on the floor, hands behind his head and his long legs stretched out in front of him. “What are you doing doll?” His eyes follow you as you walk around the attic, scanning the bookshelves and quietly humming to yourself. “Just looking for something to read, any ideas?” You can’t see him, but Bucky let’s out a silent breath, rubbing his hands together and standing. He wipes his palms on his sweatpants and walks toward you.

“You know we never finished ‘The Never Ending Story,’ we could read more if you like?” Smiling at him over your shoulder you walk toward the shelf it’s on, filing through the spines in search of the title. “Perfect.” Pulling it from the shelf you hug it to your chest and turn toward Bucky. His eyes look bright with tears and you rush over to him, taking his hand in yours. “Bucky? What’s wrong?” He raises his hand to cup your cheek, brushing his thumb across your lips before kissing you.

The softness of the kiss takes your breath away and when you open them Bucky smiles, looking down at the book in your hands. “Ready?” You simply nod, lovingly stroking the cover of the book and thumbing the pages. You notice the ribbon bookmark, fingering the silky fabric before following it down and opening to the page it’s on.

Your eyes drop to something that catches the soft glow of the star lights hanging from the ceiling, it’s sparkle dancing over the words on the page. Your hand covers your mouth, nothing but a muffled cry escaping and when you look up Bucky is on one knee in front of you. The tears that filled his eyes earlier threaten to spill from the corners as he reaches up to take your hand in his. Your lower lip trembles and you squeeze his hand so tight, feeling as if you might float away at any moment.

“That’s for you.” You both laugh through your tears and you try desperately not to throw yourself into his arms, knowing he has more to say. “I knew you were special the day we met. And every day after I fell in love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing you every step of the way. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. I’d find you and I’d chose you. You will never be anything less than everything for me. Will you marry me, y/n?”

You fall to your knees and throw your arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder and saying “yes,” over and over again. He holds you for what feels like eternity, the thundering beat of his heart in sync with yours as it becomes steadier and your tears begin to dry. Lifting your head, you kiss him a thousand times, but it never seems enough and finally he says against your lips, “do you want to get a better look at the ring?”

Your cheeks are red and still wet from tears, but your smile is bright. “Yes! I’m just. I’m so happy, Bucky.” He picks up the book and unties the ring. Taking your left hand in his he slowly slides it onto your ring finger, kissing it before you pull it away to admire how perfectly beautiful it is. “Wow, it’s gorgeous. I couldn’t have picked a better ring myself!” You move your hand back and forth, the light from the moon filtering through the skylight reflecting off the diamonds and painting your face in shimmers.

“I can’t wait to marry you, Bucky.” You barely whisper the words, but they hold more weight in their honesty than any others, as if your heart spoke them.  The mood shifts and Bucky has you in his arms, his body covering yours and his hands and mouth desperate to feel every inch of you. The sounds of city outside melt away and it’s only you two, skin to skin, every nerve ending alive with each other’s touch.

Thankful that you don’t have to wake up for anything you both sleep late into the morning, the sun bright and shining through the window, heating your bare skin and rousing you from your slumber. Your head rests on Bucky’s chest as you gently scrape your fingers through his beard, causing soft hums of pleasure to rumble through him. “I could stay like this forever.” Cuddling closer and pushing off the blanket you joke, “me too, except we might cook first.”

His laughter shakes you more awake and you roll over, stretching your limbs. The sunshine catches the facets of your ring, making it sparkle brilliantly and you can’t help but let out a squeal. “OMG BUCKY IT WASN’T A DREAM!” He takes your arms and brings you back to him, “no, it wasn’t. But it is a dream come true, you’re really gonna marry me.” Wiggling your fingers to get one more look you turn your eyes to him, “I can’t wait to tell everyone.”

“Why don’t we get dressed, and head home to shower then we can see if anyone is around to meet for lunch? Wanna go to The Meatball Shop, I’m already hungry.” You’re about to tell Bucky you are too but your stomach grumbles, saying it for you and you laugh. “Definitely, I could go for a giant plate of spaghetti.”

Once you’re back at your apartment you get yourself cleaned up, Bucky handling the texts to see if Steve, Peggy, Nat and Sam can meet you. “Did you hear from anyone?” you ask Bucky as you fix your hair. “Nat said she and Sam already ate but they expect us at the bar later and Peggy and Steve are on the other side of the city so it’s just us I think.” Smiling you skip over to him and plant a kiss on his lips, “sounds good to me, I’ll just tell everyone we see on the streets the news.”

You decide to walk to the restaurant considering it’s such a nice day and Bucky keeps you busy by asking you questions about when and where you want to get married. You don’t realize you’re just steps away from the front of the restaurant and your friends are waiting outside the door until you hear Sam yell, “well, I guess this means she said yes!”

@aesthetical-bucky​ @book-dragon-13​ @bugsbucky​ @buckys-broody-muffin​ @breezy1415​ @eurynome827​ @hiddles-rose​ @hawksmagnolia​ @hailmary-yramliah​ @ikaris-whore​ @itsunclebucky​ @jhangelface0523​ @jewels2876​ @lorilane33​ @lokilvrr​ @littledarlinhavefaithinme​ @littleredstarfish​ @mushyjellybeans​ @loricameback​ @marvelgirl7​ @marvelandotherfandomimagines​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @randomfandompenguin​ @sallycanwait68​ @tuiccim​ @the-wayward-robot​ @yansi1923​ @flyawaybay​ @throwmyheartawayagain​ @amandatar-06​ @nd1998sc​ @captainchrisstan​ @vherriepie​ @godofplumsandthunder​ @fire-flv​ @jamesbarnesappreciationclub​ @irishflutiegirl​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @moonybarnes​ @nordlysinthewoods​ @lauratang​ @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines​ @buchanansebba​ @addikted-2-dopamine​ @lady-pswrld​ @buckys-henley​ @lookiamtrying​ @mishaandthebrits​ @hopefuldreamers-world​ @rebekahdawkins​ @randomesk-yuku​

[wrenhyperfixates]

Loki Odinson’s Guide on How to Woo a Noble

Chapter 2: The Feeling of Friendship

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Now that Loki made a good first impression, you became fast friends. Determined to get a day out of the palace, you and Loki sneak into the nearby village for some fun. Warnings: fluff, fluff, and fluff (did I mention fluff?) A/N: Just more young Loki and his crush. There’s references to the first chapter in this, but I realized you could probably read it as a oneshot if you really wanted. Anyway, one more chapter to go in my first attempt at a miniseries. As always, my lovely readers, I hope you enjoy :) Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

About a month after that night in the gardens, Loki once again found himself brooding in a tree. This time, however, it had nothing to do with you. Odin had left earlier that morning for a diplomatic mission to Alfheim, taking only one of his sons with him. Needless to say, it wasn’t Loki. The young god couldn’t fathom his father’s decision to bring Thor and not him when his brother was so reckless and brutish. Deep down, Loki knew it was because the Allfather was grooming his eldest to take the throne, but it wasn’t fair. Loki was still in the running to become king, but he’d never win if he wasn’t given the same opportunities as that oaf.

Loki sighed. He was aware of the fact that it wasn’t Thor’s fault he’d been left behind, but he still felt angry at his brother. After all, it was doubtful he spoke up on Loki’s behalf. With nothing else to do, Loki began to practice the latest spell his mother had taught him. Focusing on the energy in the air, he pictured what he wanted to happen. One deep breath later, he’d successfully produced a ball of light in his hand, a trick that would be useful the next time he was sneaking around in the servant passages. The next part was considerably harder to accomplish as it required much more control, but Loki was determined to feel like he was good at something. Slowly, he produced the desired effect, and the light began to pulse in his hands.

“Hey, Loki! Come down here!” you called, pulling him from his fixation on his spell and causing the light to fade away.

“Hello,” he replied, swinging off the branch he was seated on with impressive agility. “How did you know where to find me?”

“Simple. I just followed the pulsating ball of light. Not to mention you seem to have a thing for sitting in trees.”

You both laughed at that, and he felt a light blush color his cheeks. After the stargazing, Loki assumed that you’d be friendly to him when you passed each other in the halls of the palace, but was pleasantly surprised when it went beyond that. You’d begun to actively seek him out and, sure enough, had found him in a tree quite a few times. He wasn’t exactly sure when that habit started. He just knew that it was one of the best places to avoid people. Luckily, you happened to look up often. Or, perhaps, you were specifically searching for him among the twisted branches. Either way, the fact that you initiated conversations gave Loki the confidence to do the same. Soon, walks in the garden became a weekly occurrence. He was certain no one else knew yet, for if they did, it would surely be the subject of much gossip. Not to say that you were actually courting each other, though. It was merely friendship.

“Fair enough, I suppose. Where are you going?” he inquired, noticing the cloak you wore over suspiciously casual clothing.

“I think the better question is where are we going?”

“Ok, fine. You still haven’t answered the question, though,” he persisted as you started off down the path.

“Into town, obviously. Which reminds me, you’ll be needing this.”

You pulled out another cloak from a satchel that was hidden by the flowing cashmere fabric of your own. You were met with a hesitant look from Loki when you held it out to him.

“Are you sure about this? It seems ill-advised that we go out unaccompanied. Besides, that might clash with my outfit,” he mused, examining the cloak.

“Relax. We’ll be fine,” you reassured him. “Plus, the whole point is that we’ll look inconspicuous. No one will even notice what you’re wearing. Not to mention you look good in anything.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth once the words you’d just said registered in your mind. Though you hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud, it was exactly the push Loki needed to agree. Anyway, he never could resist a chance to stir up a little mischief. Walking side-by-side, the two of you made sure to stay quiet as to avoid detection from someone who could stop your plans. Eventually, you reached the wall surrounding the palace, but much to Loki’s confusion, not the part where the gate was.

“You are aware that there is no exit here, correct?” he inquired, though he was certain that you had some trick up your sleeve.

“Haha, very funny. This is where you come into play. Can you magic us out of here?”

Loki frowned for two reasons. For one, he wasn’t confident enough in his ability to get one person to the other side, let alone two. For another, what if that was the only reason you’d invited him to tag along? Not only would that mean you didn’t actually want his company, but he was also positive he’d let you down.

“If that is the only reason you have asked me to come along, I apologize, but I will have to disappoint you. Teleportation is not exactly my strong suit,” he admitted, eyes locked on the ground.

“Loki, gosh, I thought you knew. I seek you out because I like spending time with you. If you’re really not comfortable using your magic, that’s ok,” you consoled him as you stepped closer. “We can figure something else out. I do believe in you, though. All you have to do is get us to the other side of the wall, not into the village or anything like that.”

Loki bit his lip and stole a quick glance at you. He felt ashamed that he’d let his insecurities show to you, of all people. But, ignoring that for a minute, it felt good to hear you say you enjoyed his companionship. And you believed in him and his ability, which was another rare thing. Now, he had practiced teleportation before with some success. Well, that is, if you could count moving two inches as success. The wall before him was, what, nine maybe ten feet? Then he’d have to add an extra foot or two to ensure a safe landing. You were looking at him expectantly, already forming a plan in your mind in case you had to get past the guards.

“I can do it,” Loki decided, shaking out his doubts and squaring his shoulders.

“Perfect!” you squealed in delight. “Ok, let’s do this.”

“Just a couple of things if this is going to work. We need to stand as close to the wall as possible. And well, um, we are going to have to hold hands,” he added sheepishly.

“Oh! I-I mean, yeah. Of course. If that’s uh, a thing that has to happen then, sure. Yeah,” you rambled and looked away as you offered him your hand.

Once you interlocked fingers, Loki grinned at the familiar feeling. It took him right back to that perfect night that had led to this moment. Though he never knew why, Loki had always run on the cold side, so the warmth emanating from your palm was extremely welcome. He offered you a shy smile, which you returned with an encouraging one. He shut his eyes and furrowed his brows. You were careful not to make a noise, understanding the intense concentration he’d need to accomplish this task, something that he appreciated.

Loki started just as his mother had taught him, picturing the place he was trying to get to. He imagined the lush, green grass on the other side of the obstacle keeping you from your destination. Next, he focused on the distance he needed to travel. Once he had a clear image in his mind, the young god took a deep breath and prepared to complete his most impressive feat to date. That is, if he could actually accomplish it. A gentle feeling of wind passed by him, accompanied by the tingling sensation of his magic.

“Loki! You did it,” you cheered, pulling your hand away from his to throw a hug around his shoulders.

He slowly opened his eyes and embraced you, too. Now that he’d succeeded, he allowed himself to acknowledge the fact that, had he messed up, you could both be dead right now. Needless to say, the thought caused him to shake a little. That was soon replaced, though, when he realized that you were still hugging each other. You must have also noticed because you pulled away and nervously shifted your weight from side to side.

“We should probably get going now,” you said, starting to walk in the direction of the village.

Loki nodded and followed you with a dorky grin on his face. He was starting to be thankful that his father left him in Asgard. Unfortunately, remembering that did sour his mood, but he did his best to hide it. After all, he didn’t want to ruin his time with you. He’d almost entirely forgotten about it by the time you reached the houses on the edge of town. The two of you pulled up the hoods of your cloaks and joined the flow of people in the streets. That was when Loki realized he had no idea what exactly you planned on doing here.

“Well, what now?” he whispered to you, eyes shifting from side to side, expecting to be caught any second.

“Now, we shop! And don’t look so nervous, we’ll be fine.”

Eyes shining with excitement, you grabbed Loki by the wrist and pulled him into the busy marketplace. For once in his life, Loki decided to relax and enjoy himself. Besides, it’s not like anyone would be paying attention to him. As far as they knew, he was just another common kid running around. Granted, he might look a little more lost than anyone else milling in the streets. From the way you expertly navigated in the crowd, Loki could tell this was not the first time you’d been here. It wouldn’t surprise him if you also snuck out when your family spent time in your manor, which was even closer to the village than the palace was.

There were many potent perfumes and scented oils at the booths of the market square, filling the air with their heavenly aromas. They were starting to make Loki’s head feel a little foggy by the time you finally paused in front of a stall that sold candles, examining their wares. You were tapping your chin with the most adorable contemplative look on your face. The way the light was glimmering in your eyes completely transfixed Loki for a minute before he regained his senses and pointedly looked away before you could catch him staring. It was then that an item at the next booth over grabbed his attention.

“I will just be over there for a second,” he informed you, pointing at his destination.

“Ok, I’ll be done here in a minute. Don’t get lost without me,” you teased.

After squeezing through the mob of people that separated the two booths, Loki stopped and got the attention of the clerk.

“I would like that bracelet please, my good sir,” he said, gesturing to the one he wanted.

It was a thin gold band that, upon closer inspection, was designed as a snake with its tail in its mouth. A single emerald that served as the eye of the serpent was set in the medal. It was as if it was made for the sole purpose of Loki being able to present it to you. Unfortunately, the salesman did not share the same point of view.

“I’m sure you would, sonny, but how ’bout we find something more in your price range.”

He laughed then and gestured to the brightly colored, obviously cheap jewelry made of beads and string. Loki became indignant at the comment. Not only did this man think he’d be gormless enough to ask for something he couldn’t afford, but he also indicated that Loki had poor taste by suggesting he would like such an ostentatious accessory that was only fit for children and street performers. It took all his energy not to place a hex on him or reveal himself as a prince of Asgard. Instead, he quickly eyed the price tag and then emptied a pouch of gold coins that had enough money and then some.

“Believe me, it is, what was it you said? Oh yes, ‘in my price range.’”

Between the haughty, mocking tone of voice Loki used and the seemingly endless bag of riches, the clerk was left standing with his mouth agape. He eagerly inspected the coins, wanting them to be real but not quite believing it. Satisfied that he wasn’t being duped, and having no good reason to accuse Loki otherwise, the man handed over the bracelet in an ornate box.

“Will that be all, sir?” he asked, still not entirely trusting what just happened.

“Yes. Thank you,” Loki replied, pleased with the new respect in the man’s tone.

Spying you working your way through the throng, he went to meet you halfway. Based on your empty hands, it seemed that you’d decided not to purchase anything after all. On account of how noisy your surroundings were, Loki decided to wait until you’d made your way out of the market to present his gift to you.

“So, what did you get?” you questioned once it was quiet enough.

“Well, it is for you, actually.”

Loki opened the box and showed you the trinket. Now that he’d done it, there was no taking it back, but he suddenly became very self-conscious. Was it even appropriate for him to get you a gift if you were not courting? He was sure that his tutors would disapprove, but it was just hindsight now, and there was simply nothing he could do. The worst part, though, was that you’d yet to say anything. Rather, you were just standing there with a surprised look decorating your features.

“Of course you do not have to accept it if you do not like it,” Loki added somewhat dejectedly. “Or for any other reason, either.”

“Loki,” you breathed out in a soft voice. “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much.”

The sincerity in your eyes chased away any lingering doubt he still had. Carefully, he picked up the bracelet and slid it onto your outstretched wrist. It was a perfect fit, and Loki’s skin tingled with magnetic energy from where it brushed yours. For a minute, neither of you said anything and instead just got lost in the other’s eyes. And then you were interrupted by a growl from your stomach.

“I, um, I guess I’m hungry. You?” you stammered, sheepishly fidgeting.

“Absolutely famished,” he replied, hoping to alleviate some of your embarrassment. “Well, I suppose we should be heading back to the palace then.”

“Are you kidding me? The best food is right here in town! Come on, I’ll show you.”

With that, you were once again bobbing and weaving through the crowds. Finally, you came to a cart emitting a delicious scent. After a short wait on line, you ordered some laufabrauð and urrädla for you and Loki to share. The crispy, fried dough treats were light and delightful on the tongue. Loki hummed in joy at the pleasurable taste.

“See, what did I tell you?”

“Well, it is delicious, I’ll give you that. But better than what is served at the palace? I think you are crazy,” he said with a friendly laugh.

“Maybe. But you like crazy, don’t you, God of Mischief?” you teased right back.

Loki once again found himself blushing. He hoped you did not know too well just how right you were. At least, when it was applied to you. The clever remark Loki was preparing died on his tongue as he noticed a pair of royal guards approaching where you stood. You looked over your shoulder, following his gaze, and saw them, too.

“It’s probably fine,” you said. “They’re just walking in this general direction, right?”

“Perhaps,” he responded, though something about their urgent gait did not sit right with him.

The Einherjar were doing their best to avoid looking at the pair of young nobles but kept glancing at you to make sure you hadn’t bolted. Unfortunately for them, you both noticed, and with a small nod to each other, you took off, trying to lose them in the crowds. Though Loki had received training for battle, even his nimble feet couldn’t keep up with yours,  experienced in traveling the busy streets. When you noticed he was falling behind, you seized his hand without thinking about it. Sadly, it did more harm than good because Loki couldn’t focus on his footing when your fingers were interlocked with his.

Finally, you found a stack of boxes to hide behind. You dove down, pulling Loki behind you. Thinking you’d lost the guards, you both dared to peek out to make sure. After identifying their retreating forms, you and Loki descended into a fit of giggles. Unfortunately, you were too busy laughing to notice the figure approaching you.

“What are you two doing away from the palace? Running around unsupervised, no less.”

Your chuckles came to an abrupt stop. Looking up, you saw Heimdall standing over you, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Loki was pretty sure that was a rhetorical question, and that he’d be in deep trouble even if it wasn’t. You shot him a concerned look to which he responded with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Oh, wow. You’re right. This isn’t the palace,” you ventured, playing dumb. “Did you notice, Loki?”

“I had absolutely no idea! How confounding, don’t you agree?”

You nodded along, saying, “Indeed. Well, I suppose we should be heading back, now. Thank you, Heimdall, for alerting us.”

You and Loki started heading back in the direction of the palace, though neither of you actually had the intention of returning yet. You’d already started quietly giggling between yourselves, but it was cut off by a loud, exasperated sigh from the all-seeing god.

“It is no problem at all. Since we are all returning to the palace, we can walk together.”

You and Loki had no choice but to agree, and so you sullenly started your walk back, for real this time. The young prince was beginning to be annoyed by having his time with you cut short. It happened far too often, in his opinion. When he risked a glance at you, though, you were smiling.

“Don’t look so upset,” you whispered, elbowing him in the side. “I still had a good time.”

“Me too. And,” he whispered back, lowering his voice even further, “I rather think that we will have to do this again.”

You nodded, eyes lighting up in excitement. It made Loki’s heart flutter in his chest. The whispering continued all the way back to the palace. Once you’d reentered the gates, Lupus came running up to you.

“Hi boy!” you greeted the wolf pup, bending down to pet him. “Did you miss me?”

Loki bent down to pat your pet on the head, which was met with a lick on his face. He sputtered as Lupus’s tongue caught him right on the mouth, earning a laugh from you. It was then that your mother’s maid came rushing up to you.

“There you are!” she exclaimed. “Your parents are looking for you. Come along now, best not to keep them waiting.”

She grabbed you by the arm to whisk you away, and you helplessly waved goodbye to Loki, Lupus running behind you. He waved back and stared wistfully off into the direction of your abrupt exit. The light caught the golden bracelet hugging your wrist, and he couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin.  Heimdall, who was not about to let Loki off the hook so easily after his little escapade, cleared his throat, bringing the young god back to reality.

“Alright, fine. I apologize,” Loki conceded, though it was quite hard for him. Then a bit more nervously, he added, “You will not tell my father, will you?”

“You know I am required to report any significant events to your father,” he said. “Though, since this is only a minor infraction, I am willing to turn a blind eye, as it were.”  

“Thank you,” Loki said as Heimdall turned to leave. He made a mental note to work on ways to avoid Heimdall’s all-seeing gaze in the future. “I truly appreciate it.”

“You are welcome, my prince. Oh, and one more thing,” he said, turning back around, “they really do enjoy your company.”

He bid a stunned Loki goodbye and was on his way once more. Naturally, you’d expressed that you liked spending time with Loki, but he never could fully rid himself of doubt. Heimdall was certainly telling the truth, though, instilling Loki with a newfound confidence. He swaggered into the palace, completely certain that when he told you how he felt, whenever that may be, you would feel the same way, too.